#(you know he's probably going to die sometime within the show's run

[radioactive-earthshine]

Hi. I really enjoy your analysis and I was wondering if you could explain why Wally is so mean to Bart? Maybe mean is too strong but as you read Impulse it gets hard to read sometimes because it comes off as just bullying and not just 90s sitcom teasing.

Hello!

The most direct answer for why Wally is the way he is with Bart is simultaneously simple and complex with nuance that any reader of Wally's run should have been able to catch onto pretty easily.

And no, the answer isn't just "he's a jerk" even though yes, he is a jerk (Bart is too) but there's more to it.

1.) He was a little incredibly jealous of Don and Dawn for existing and he felt like their existence threatened his status with his Uncle Barry. We all know blood =/= family in this circle, but to Wally it meant MORE to him.

It's also important to note that Wally and Barry's relationship is unique in the greater examples of DC as Wally refers to Barry thoroughly as his uncle, and their tether together was through marriage (Iris). Even so, Wally was as close to Barry as a son, and the feelings they had were mutual. Wally was not just assigning himself a position within Barry's life erroneously, he is family. Period.

The Flash (1987) #109

Wally knows that Barry had kids (Iris told him and Bart had to come from somewhere) but when Jenni shows up we finally see his true introspection and rumbling thoughts about the situation of them - that he is jealous of them even though he's learned that Barry dies when they are young and didn't even get to have a relationship with him.

The Flash (1987) #114

Later, Wally finally gets to meet Don and Dawn in the future and things are tense between all of them at first. Wally is self conscious of his thoughts concerning them, that he is jealous, and there is some mutual jealousy between all three because the Tornado Twins, while Barry's children, grew up without him when Wally did.

Wally got to have a father/child relationship with Barry and they didn't.

The Flash (1987) #114

The Twins let this go and Wally does partially but there are other instances where Wally persists there is a rivalry between them later. For Wally the biodetermination is very much a part of his insecurities in this situation.

(also this is a side note they are not the catalyst or inspiration to the Legion of Super-Heroes but they do need to die to make way for a future to have it, Wally doesn't know this and probably just assumes they were)

The Flash (1987) #148

Wally continues to be jealous but he's emotionally intelligent enough to know it's not appropriate. It never was, now or otherwise.

So Wally's jealously and deep desire to be as close to Barry as possible manifested in some redirected tension onto Bart who is blood related to Barry.

2.) Bart reminds him of himself when he was kid, and he is ashamed of how he was.

This point is something Wally admits directly as a reason why he is so short with him.

The Flash (1987) #92

It's also extremely necessary to remember that Wally grew up with Rudy West as a father who was verbally, emotionally and physically abusive. This is where we get meta about Wally and this is more speculation because we don't have Wally on panel saying this but; Bart reminding him of himself as a kid very easily could remind Wally of that house, that relationship, that abuse and it sets him on edge. This is something that is common among trauma survivors.

3.) Wally is young, insecure, traumatized, stressed, and Bart is a lot.

Wally here is in his early 20s, and while he was shown to be in therapy in a previous issue, he still has years of trauma built up to deal with - and not all of it is due to being raised in an incredibly abusive household with Rudy West.

When Wally gets stressed, he lashes out and gets short, Bart in particular in his introductory comics stressed him out on top of the stress he was already experiencing with Kobra.

Bart in his earlier comics was utterly feral - his own high energy and inability to distinguish between fantasy and reality led to some stressful situations between him and Wally. Wally is just not equipped with the tools to deal with Bart, mostly PATIENCE, so it led to mutual aggravation.

Bart pushes, Wally pushes, Bart pushes back and it's a pretty solid circle between them.

4.) He is in fact a jerk, and it's the result of the sum of his trauma and personality. Regardless of his status as a hero, regardless that Bart and him do have good moments.

The later issues of Impulse show this very clearly.

Impulse (1995) #82

Some people prefer to interpret Wally and Bart's relationship as sibling-like where the older sibling teases the younger one - and if you do prefer this relationship between them there is nothing stopping you from doing so, but there is more nuance behind Wally's shortness with Bart and it makes him 1000% more interesting of a character.

Impulse (1995) #84

Bart calls Wally out on his behavior in one of the last few issues of his series where it ties everything together with their relationship - Bart identifies that Wally's past is what drives him to behave the ways he does with him, and it is bringing up the past and reminding Wally that he is being a scroach that he finally talks to Bart.

It was a major step in their relationship, but unfortunately, as any Bart reader knows, it did not stay this good because of the next point.

5.) Conflicting personalities add more depth to stories and generally make a story better. Bart having a grating personality and a tough relationship with the current Flash of the time was the story the writers WANTED to tell and keep intact well into Teen Titans.

Wally doesn't KNOW Bart, not really, and he never really learns enough about him due to his chronic absences in his life - so he never got to SEE him in any real depth other than during the brief moments their comics intersected. He only sees him the way he thinks he is, not the way he ACTUALLY is.

Teen Titans (2003) #1

stfu wally

Having a beloved hero figure in a story simply not believe in one of the protagonists offers a growth subplot for the writer to focus on. Unfortunately, for Bart and Wally, it was a subplot that lasted a very very long time. This conflict between them could have ended with Impulse #84 but Geoff didn't want it to, so it didn't.

So that's the general reason why Wally is the way he is. He's not a villain to Bart and they DO get along plenty of times - but at the end of the day he was also a jerk to him (Max was too but we're not getting into that right now).

[hazyange1s]

HL Characters’ Tricks and Treats

It’s my favorite day of the year so before I go and fall into a candy/cocktail coma tonight… here’s a few ridiculous headcanons about the HL characters on Halloween 👻

Sebastian

Dresses up as something scary/clever/historical like a character from a horror novel. Definitely uses magic with his costume to make it more realistic (is that actual blood?!)

Would DIE for a haunted house. He’s the one laughing and having the time of his life at the front of the pack.

Probably asks to take a moonlit walk through a cemetery. What, it’s romantic!

He is Scottish, and they’re quite superstitious about Hallowe’en. Seb doesn’t walk across the street when he sees a black cat or anything, but he’s very respectful towards the dead (barring the aforementioned graveyard romp)

Scares everyone — teachers, his friends, Hogsmeade shopkeepers. The only person he can’t seem to get is Ominis, and it haunts him.

Would say cheesy little things to his S.O. (or friends) like “if I pull a trick on you now, will I still get a treat later?” 🙄

Ominis

Doesn’t really understand Hallowe’en or care about the holiday, but his friends love it so he goes along (begrudgingly).

Dresses up as the same thing with slight variations every year unless Sebastian can wrangle him into something else. Definitely likes classic/scary costumes i.e. vampire

The guy clinging to his friend/partner in the haunted house (usually Poppy; she doesn’t mind).

In my lore, he owns a little black cat and is highly protective of her on Halloween. Like takes her everywhere (sadly some people are known to harm black cats on this day ☹️)

Denies most party invitations because the energy is just too much. If he does come, he’s in the corner talking to like two people and drinking lmao

However, he’d secretly live for mischief night type antics and would come up with the most devious pranks. Never gets in trouble for a single one.

Garreth

Bought out Honeyduke’s by October 1. Most of it is for him and he’s in a coma by midnight.

Creates a drink that tastes like candy corn and gives you so much energy you can’t fall asleep until sunrise. Nobody in the castle sleeps that night and the professors are running around literally stopping kids from bouncing off walls.

Dresses up as a pun/something silly (obviously) or “badass”— could show up as a knight or as Merlin with a really long beard just so he can say “Merlin’s beard” fifty times. Would totally show up to class dressed as Professor Sharp and get detention for it.

Cracking jokes in the haunted house and messing with the actors until they have to kick him out.

Is either in an all-out war with Peeves or has teamed up with him to pull a practical joke on the Slytherins.

Enthusiastic pumpkin-carver and apple-bobber. Did the Monster Mash before it was cool.

Amit

Gotta be honest, can’t see him being a big fan of Halloween. He’d rather be in front of a fire writing his memoir than out with all the hooligans (aka his friends)

IF someone can manage to drag him out of the common room, chances are it’s his partner and he’s stuck to their side like glue all night. The unfortunate victim of many a prank.

Costume consists of different astronomers every year, which are remarkably detailed. Sometimes he’ll mix it up and try out a mummy or something from mythology.

Will likely refuse to step foot in the haunted house, but on the off chance he’s persuaded, Amit flinches at every little sound 😅

Knows a lot about the history of All Hallows’ Eve and will tell anyone within earshot.

Not a fan of ghosts (I mean, they are a bit unsettling), although they all seem to love him — he’s just got a soothing presence, I guess.

Natty

She didn’t grow up celebrating Halloween like everyone else did, so she could really take it or leave it. But it can be fun!

In Africa, they focus on the oldest traditions of this time of year by honoring their dead. Natsai and her mom would probably pay homage to her father.

Doesn’t wear a costume her first couple of years in Scotland, but by sixth year she’s decked out in something pretty. I could see her dressing up as a powerful female historical figure like Cleopatra or Morgan le Fay.

Honestly might go for a couples’ costume and would dutifully think of the perfect one. Always coming up with good ideas for things to do, too.

Is eerily chill in the haunted house. Nobody even sees her flinch until the very end, she’s too busy herding everyone to notice what’s going on.

Enjoys a good scare, but she doesn’t really like to scare other people (unless they deserve it).

Poppy

Her and her gran had little Halloween traditions, but she never got to fully appreciate the holiday until she started making more friends at school.

Often dressing up as some type of magical creature (shocker, I know) or a cute/whimsical being; like a unicorn or a dryad.

Is down for the count after about three Butterbeers at the end of the night and needs to be carried back to Hufflepuff common room.

Gets moderately scared at the haunted house; still braves it admirably. Is pushed to the middle of the group for protection since she’s the smallest 😂

Makes special treats for the creatures and would probably yell at anyone who tried to force their pets into costumes oop

Loves to decorate the dorm/common room with enchanted lights and wreathes and shimmery cobwebs.

Imelda

Pretends to think that Hallowe’en is ridiculous but secretly LOVES it. She’s counting down the days as soon as school starts.

It’s the day before the first Quidditch game of the year so honestly don’t be surprised if she disappears for a few hours to practice. Or makes the rest of the team join.

Has the best costumes and you’ll never guess what she’s going to show up as. One year it’s a Holyhead Harpies player, the next it’s a disturbingly convincing zombie, and another she goes as Sebastian to piss him off.

Fighting people in the haunted house. You touch her? You lose a hand. You touch Poppy? You die. She’s kicked out even before Garreth.

Has no qualms about spooking the underclassmen (watch out Zenobia) — or anyone, for that matter. Absolutely BRUTAL.

Tells a great scary story, and she can make them up on the spot. They’ll just give you nightmares for a few weeks, it’s fine.

[thepictureofjune]

The Tortured Poets Departement of schloss einstein

— relating songs to characters and relationships because in my eyes, everyone is a little sad

Hallo. Wilkommen. This is me trying to relate everything I somewhat like to my current obsession even if it does not fit at all because this is a kids show and the album is probably anything but relatable to a 12 year old, trying to find a treasure. But I tried and I tried explaining my choices. This is my very insane and over-dramatic interpretation, please just deal with me. 

Disclaimer: hab versucht, mich möglichst auf Staffel 26 und 27 Charaktere zu begrenzen, hat aber (siehe literally erstes Beispiel) manchmal besser bei früheren Charakteren oder Beziehungen gepasst. Btw would love it if anyone could find people to relate the missing songs to. (my chronic rewatching kinda failed me in the end…)

Fortnight - Till und Martha (Staffel 23)

And for a fortnight there, we were forever Run into you sometimes, ask about the weather Now you're in my backyard, turned into good neighbors Your wife waters flowers, I wanna kill her All my mornings are Mondays stuck in an endless February I took the miracle move-on drug, the effects were temporary And I love you, it's ruining my life I love you, it's ruining my life I touched you for only a fortnight I touched you, but I touched you

For me this fits within the whole Martha Kasimir Till drama and obviously the somewhat enemies to lovers arc Martha and Till had going on. How probably liking Martha ruined Tills life more than it already was because when they kissed for the first time, she was still dating Kasimir and that, of course, ensured a lot of issues probably. 

The Tortured Poets Department - Nesrin und Annika (Staffel 27!)

But you're in self-sabotage mode Throwing spikes down on the road But I've seen this episode and still loved the show Who else decodes you? And who's gonna hold you like me? And who's gonna know you, if not me? I laughed in your face and said "You're not Dylan Thomas, I'm not Patti Smith This ain't the Chelsea Hotel, we'rе modern idiots" (...) Sometimes, I wonder if you're gonna screw this up with me But you told Lucy you'd kill yourself if I ever leave And I had said that to Jack about you, so I felt seen Everyone we know understands why it's meant to be 'Cause we're crazy So tell me, who else is gonna know me?

We get introduced to them as these two best friends who are never really seen without each other. Annika knows Nesrin and Nesrin knows Annika and no one is ever going to get in between them, right? Because then it changes and we get the whole fight of Nesrin not really seeming to know Annika all that well anymore, them constantly fighting because maybe after all, all they had was the pranks they did together and what is their friendship beyond that? What is their friendship now?

Down Bad - Noah und Colin aus Noahs Sicht (Staffel 27 post 1062)

For a moment, I knew cosmic love Now I'm down bad, cryin' at the gym Everything comes out teenage petulance "Fuck it if I can't have him" "I might just die, it would make no difference" Down bad, wakin' up in blood Starin' at the sky, come back and pick me up Fuck it if I can't have us I might just not get up, I might stay

Did you take all my old clothes Just to leave me here, naked and alone In a field in my same old town That somehow seems so hollow now? They'll say I'm nuts if I talk about The existence of you

I loved your hostile takeovers Encounters closer and closer All your indecent exposures How dare you say that it's— I'll build you a fort on some planet Where they can all understand it How dare you think it's romantic Leaving me safe and stranded 'Cause fuck it, I was in love So fuck you if I can't have us

So Noah kinda knows he likes Colin now, knows that he misses Colin but what if Colin doesn’t miss him? What if Colin already moved on? Nothing would make sense anymore. He lost his best friend and for what? Only to be alone in the end?

Because right now, for all Noah knows, Colin might still be mad at him. 

So Long, London - Noah und Colin aus Colins Sicht (Staffel 27 post 1056) 

I saw in my mind fairy lights through the mist I kept calm and carried the weight of the rift Pulled him in tighter each time he was driftin' away My spine split from carrying us up the hill Wet through my clothes, weary bones caught the chill I stopped tryna make him laugh, stopped tryna drill the safe Thinkin', "How much sad did you think I had Did you think I had in me?" Oh, the tragedy

So long, London You'll find someone For so long, London Stitches undone Two graves, one gun I'll find someone And you say I abandoned the ship But I was going down with it My white-knuckle dying grip Holding tight to your quiet resentment And my friends said it isn't right to be scared Every day of a love affair Every breath feels like rarest air When you're not sure if he wants to be there You swore that you loved me, but where were the clues? I died on the altar waitin' for the proof You sacrificed us to the gods of your bluest days And I'm just getting color back into my face I'm just mad as hell 'cause I loved this place

But Daddy I Love Him - Julia Sponer (Staffel 25 u 26) 

Too high a horse for a simple girl To rise above it They slammed the door on my whole world The one thing I wanted Now I'm runnin' with my dress unbuttoned Scrеamin', "But, Daddy, I love him I'm havin' his baby" No, I'm not, but you should see your faces I'm tellin' him to floor it through thе fences No, I'm not coming to my senses

This one is mainly for the dramatics of the song, of playing the part and of Julia wanting to take a path (acting) that is usually not really met with great immediate success. 

Fresh Out The Slammer - Lucky und Paulina (Staffel 11 u 12) 

Gray and blue and fights and tunnels Handcuffed to the spell I was under For just one hour of sunshine Years of labor, locks, and ceilings In the shade of how he was feeling But it's gonna be alright, I did my time Now, pretty baby, I'm runnin' back home to you Frеsh out the slammer, I know who my first call will be to Camera flashes, welcome bashes, get the matches Toss the ashes off the ledge As I said in my letters, now that I know better I will never lose my baby again

Give me one couple in the entirety of Schloss Einstein that screams Partners in Crime better than they do. (also give me one modern character that would be looked at like a criminal - they don’t do them like that anymore) 

Florida!!! - Joyce Simon (Staffel 24 u 25)

Little did you know your home's really only A town you're just a guest in So you work your life away just to pay For a time-share down in Destin (...) The hurricane with my name when it came I got drunk and I dared it to wash me away Barricaded in the bathroom with a bottle of wine Well, me and my ghosts, wе had a hell of a time Yes, I'm hauntеd, but I'm feeling just fine

One character who never quite seemed to feel at home, who had a friend and still fled the country, who has never had a home because family was always foreign. 

Who’s Afraid of Little Old Me? - Joshua Hockenbrink (Staffel 27) 

The who's who of "Who's that?" is poised for the attack But my bare hands paved their paths You don't get to tell me about "sad" (...) Crash the party like a record scratch as I scream "Who's afraid of little old me?" You should be The scandal was contained The bullet had just grazed At all costs, keep your good name You don't get to tell me you feel bad Is it a wonder I broke? Let's hear one morе joke Then we could all just laugh until I cry (...) So tell me everything is not about me But what if it is? Then say they didn't do it to hurt me But what if they did? I wanna snarl and show you just how disturbed this has made me You wouldn't last an hour in the asylum where they raised me So all you kids can sneak into my house with all the cobwebs I'm always drunk on my own tears, isn't that what they all said? That I'll sue you if you step on my lawn That I'm fearsome and I'm wretched and I'm wrong

A birthday party organized simply to taunt him, the usually slightly mean behavior that drives everyone away and makes you think he is nothing more than rude, nothing more than a villain. But he’s also the boy that seems to want nothing more than to find a place that accepts him. 

loml - Leon und Io aus Leons Sicht (Staffel 27 post 1064) 

We embroidered the memories of the time I was away Stitching, "We were just kids, babe" I said, "I don't mind, it takes time" I thought I was better safe than starry-eyed I've felt a glow like this never before and never since (...) You holy ghost, you told me I'm the love of your life You said I'm the love of your life About a million times Who's gonna tell me the truth when you blew in with the winds of fate (...) I wish I could unrecall How we almost had it all Dancing phantoms on the terrace Are they second-hand embarrassed That I can't get out of bed

I Can Do It With a Broken Heart - Massuda Phanit (Staffel 26 u 27)

I can read your mind "She's having the time of her life There in her glittering prime The lights refract sequin stars off her silhouette every night" I can show you lies 'Cause I'm a real tough kid I can handle my shit They said, "Babe, you gotta fake it 'til you make it" and I did Lights, camera, bitch, smile Even when you wanna die Breaking down, I hit the floor All the piеces of me shatterеd as the crowd was chanting, "More" I was grinnin' like I'm winnin' I was hittin' my marks I'm so depressed, I act like it's my birthday every day

Massuda is glitter, she is smiles in the camera, she is organizing parties and loud music and dancing and…She is also the parents that don’t accept her if she doesn’t have good grades. She is also the one who has to hide her true self whenever her parents turn up. 

Clara Bow - Marlon to Simon (Staffel 27)

"You look like Clara Bow In this light, remarkable All your life, did you know You'd be picked like a rose?" I'm not trying to exaggerate But I think I might die if it happened Die if it happened to me No one in my small town Thought I'd see the lights of Manhattan Take the glory, give everything Promise to be dazzling

This might seem a wee bit crazy but hear me out! Marlon likes Nesrin but he also thinks Nesrin likes Simon. And he knows Simon is probably better at this whole liking someone and flirting with them thing that he will ever be because after all, he’s just the kid with the star bread.

— june🪐

(the anthology comes in a separate part bcs else this is too long to read - it already prob is)

[homicidal-slvt]

"Sweetly Crimson"

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MDNI

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Inspired by @silverzoomies 'Monster Mash' (Please check out their writing- it's literally incredible)

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Peter Maximoff x F!Reader

Vampire!Reader

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Warnings: Blood, Possibly OOC Peter

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You had grown rather close to the speedster, his playful demeanor dragged you in like a magnetic force. Sure- he was a bit much at times but it was quite cute.

He doesn't know your secret though and if you were being honest- part of you considered never telling him. How would he react?

You'd certainly just die (again) if he were to freak out and leave you... You'd rather crawl into a coffin and never come out- classic vampire from movies mode activated.

Your poor speedy boy just doesn't get it- why do you never want to hang out at night time? It's like every single night you have other plans. He can't help but wonder what you're getting up to.

Curiosity killed the cat.... Well, clearly the cat wasn't fast enough, right?

••

You feel as though you're going to literally starve- and you just might. You have been so busy lately that you carelessly forgot you needed more packs of blood... You aren't about to go out and feed from some random person like a monster! Plus, who knows what diseases they might have... Ew. No way you're chomping on that.

Little did you know that Peter was going to be paying you a surprise visit, several thoughts running through his head at warp speed... He swears his skull is just a jar full of especially spastic bees.

This is a bad idea.

A more rational voice chimes in within Peter's mind, however he figures it's too late to turn back now... Just let's see if you're home, right? I mean... Not like you're doin' some freaky shit- right?

Without anymore thought his hand makes contact with the wood of your door, met with such an eerie silence that all he can hear is the chirping of crickets. He glances around your home and notices the faint glow of a lamp through the window...

"Hey, babe? Ya home?"

Weird... Felt like a chill just crawled up his spine.

Meanwhile you're crouched in the kitchen having hunger pains, hearing Peter's voice creates an internal battle of your own.

He can't see you like this... No... But- you're so hungry... And he always smells so sweet...

A few more knocks and you can't take it, feet carrying you before logical sense can kick in and tell you to stay away. Peter looks a bit startled when you open the door to let him in, his deep brown eyes widening slightly, silvery hair caught in the glow of the nearby street lamp. Woah, he didn't even hear your footfalls as you came to the door. Kinda creepy.

"Uh... Are ya alright? You look a bit under the weather there..."

"I'm fine. Come in."

He does not like how you're looking at him, the way your eyes keep fixating on the side of his neck, it looks like you're about to make a meal out of him... And not in the kinky way.

But- you're his friend. So, even with your concerning behavior he still decides to come in. Your house looks pretty normal, a few decorations here and there...

"Peter, I need to tell you something."

"Yeah? What is it? Don't tell me you're pregnant or somethin'."

He tries to lighten the mood with a joke, you always love his sense of humor or out place comments... Even when they sometimes don't fully make sense. However for once his joke falls flat- like totally crashed and burned.

He swallows nervously locking eyes with you, that same chill crawling up his spine again.... He could just make a break for it, y'know... But what kind of friend would he be if he ditched you like that? After coming here at night unannounced? Dick move.

"I'm a vampire."

You just went for it- deciding that ripping the band-aid off would be easier. He just kinda stands there and stares at you before laughing a bit, stuffing his hands into his pockets... It's October. Of course this is all just some silly prank to scare him!!! You probably decided to do this after he showed up at night like a weirdo.

"Very funny... Ya almost got me! I'm a little too quick for that though-"

"I'm not kidding."

"C'mon- just..."

He trails off while searching your expression and you seem completely serious... However he's just not buying it.

"Okay then... How come ya can come out during the day?"

"That's just an old tale..."

You sigh while gazing into his skeptical eyes, Peter would believe a lot of things but this just was not one of them. There's no way in hell his friend is a vampire!!! How could you hide something like that???

"Do you want me to prove it?"

This gains his interest slightly and you open your mouth, canines sharpened into obvious fangs. He leans back a bit with a baffled expression.

"Nah... No way. Those cannot be real."

You're starving and having to deal with Peter... Great. Why couldn't you have just not opened the door? Pretended to be asleep?

"Do you want me to fuckin' bite you?!?"

A long silence hangs in the air and that sweetness finds its way to your nose again, the temptation that dragged you to the door to begin with. You can't do that to him...

Saliva pools in your mouth and your pupils visibly dilate, you try to redirect your attention but he simply moves in closer.

"Ya mean it, don't you...? You're a vampire?"

There's a hesitant nod and you feel his hand gently brush against your face, guiding you to look up at him and meet his gaze, you can see there's so many questions lurking...

"Ya drink blood...? Gross."

Ah yes... Thanks, Peter. We were having a moment.

"Wow, dude."

You huff and lightly swat his hand and he chuckles a bit, he was a bit bothered at first by the fact you hadn't told him and all that but... He can kinda see why you'd keep it a secret. It's a big deal.

"I mean- come on. Suckin' on people like human juice boxes is kinda gross, babe."

"For your information I don't drink from people. I get blood bags."

That... Just raised so many more questions...

"But I ran out and I'm kinda starving..."

"Wait, wait, wait... Are ya actually askin' to take a bite outta me??? I guess if ya really need too..."

He trails off slightly and he's clearly uncertain about the whole thing, he doesn't exactly like the idea of getting drained like a big live smoothie.

"It won't be that bad... I promise..."

He smells so sweet...

You close in on him and he quickly moves out his hands, he could so easily just dart away and there would be no way for you to catch up but... He just can't do that to you. His hands hover over your sides and he prepares himself.

A slight sting meets his skin as your fangs sink into his neck... Oh crap... He should've asked if this would turn him. Wait- could you drain him dry??? Oh shit why didn't he think this through-

His mind speed runs several worse case scenarios before finally a different sensation sets in, it actually starts to feel kind of good... Your mouth latched onto his warm skin, feeling the thick liquid meet your tongue and the soft vibration of Peter's contented hum.

He tastes so much better than any other blood you've ever had, like crimson candy flowing down your throat. You're dragged back to reality though as you feel him begin to slump back against the wall, quickly you retract your fangs and pull away.

"Shit... Are you okay?"

"Yeah... Yeah. I've lost more blood than that before, don't worry bout' it."

You snort out a soft chuckle at his little grin, still a bit of concern lingers in your eyes though. He raises his hand touching the fang marks on his neck, a flicker of wonder in his eyes.

"So, did I taste good?"

"Gross."

"Aw, c'mon..."

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{I know the ending is abrupt and not good but I tried.}

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{More Content}

[unnursvanablog]

And now it has arrived!

One of my most anticipated sageuks of the year, Queen Woo - but it has been on my tbw list for AGES because all I really needed to know is that is was a historical drama with Ji Chang Wook in it and I am not about to pass the opportunity to witness that again. I adored him in Warrior Baek Dong Soo (the lighter and more campy version of My Country also starring my all time fav Yoo Seung Ho) and in Empress Ki (which was the first looooong historical kdrama that I stuck around with and watch from beginning to end).

Also, it's not a sageuk set during the Joseon times… which is honestly just such a breath of fresh air. We get so many of them. I adore a lot of them, but Korean history also has so many other stories to draw inspo from.

That was sort of all I sort of knew about it before I went into it. I knew it was about Queen Woo and how she married one of her husbands brothers and was fighting to keep the throne after her husband died. I didn't know it was rated 19 for violence and… nudity, but that isn't really something that bothers me all that greatly if it just works with the story. I doubt this show is going to go all Game of Thrones on us and just show that sort of stuff in there just because.

If anything those scenes that we got actually just sort of amused or make me go… sure, ok.

And since I knew Ji Chang Wook would die (very sad, I wanted to watch him in all his sageuk glory for 8 episodes) so I spent the entire first episode just expecting him to drop dead and just exit the story every moment that he appeared on screen. But we are seeing quite a bit of him, and he seems to have a much bigger role within the story than I thought he would, which I am glad about. I was expecting a very kickass guest role or a cameo or something.

This show so far, I am on ep 2 because I am in my heart and soul not a binge watcher and I prefer to watch my kdramas on a slow but steady pace, and it is sort of the standard sageuk fare… with some added sex which we see way more in like historical movies but not in dramas. But with 8 episodes this will probably just feel like one long, epic movie anyway. It seems to have that sort of feel to it.

There is some scheming old men who want a better position or they want a better way to rule the country without really being on the throne and having to deal with stuff that comes with being a king. They want to rule from the shadows so to speak. There are ladies who want to be queen and scheme and plot to try to get to that position and so forth. it got flashbacks to the times they were kids and it got a man with a heart of gold (probably, or that is how it starts out) who is also a bit of a scoundrall running through the streets, jumping on roofs etc. It's a sageuks, you are having a fun time, you are pretending that you are learning some history and it's bloody and gory, it has Ji Chang Wook looking moody and sometimes covered in blood… what's not to enjoy.

It's all very standard for the genre, but I was very much entertained through it all... or the first two episodes. I just really enjoy this sort of more serious toned historical dramas. The politics can be dry, sure, but if one does it well and have enough of multi-layered and complex characters where we understand everyone's motives and such it actually is a very fun time.

I do think the drama is still very much setting the scenes in episodes 2 and we are still getting to know the main players. And I am still very much learning their names. There are some interesting characters there, like the priestess lady and the lady, the queens sister no less, one who accidentally killed the king because she wanted to fuck him, as well as Queen Woo and the former kings closest advicer, but they aren't the most complex characters yet, but with time they could be.

The queen, who is our main character and the main player in all of this, is somewhat of a girlboss female character and idk if she was adapted that way, of being this girl who wants to be a general but can't because she is a girl, for modern audience or if she was actually like that. But I do find her to be a character who is more than that and she is someone who is easy to root for. And I am excited for her politics and her plots and more of her backstory.

[andrewminyardapologist]

A Kevin Day hc I assume I'm not the first to have:

We see Kevin drinking during the course of the series. Often, he uses it to relieve extreme anxiety, like when Wymack handed him a bottle of liquor at the banquet and told him "you have ten seconds, go."

(While that's really funny, it also shows how MUCH Kevin drinks because I think he got half a bottle down in that time. In a liter of vodka there is somewhere around 25-30 standard drinks I believe? So that would put anyone without a drinking problem on their ASS. I was a heavy drinker for several years of my life, to the point where I could be blackout drunk and act sober. I am a lot smaller than Kevin, but that would probably put me into a coma if I didn't space it out over a couple of hours. Not mention Kevin was not appearing to be drunk during the banquet. So this leads me to believe he drinks a LOT. More than we see.)

The other time we see Kevin drink is at Eden's, and around the other Foxes for card games or bonding nights. Things that make it easy to not spiral into a dark place because of the alcohol.

He's also very drunk when he gets the chess piece tattoo, and is alone that time, drowning in memories. That was SUCH a huge deal for him. And, he was ALONE.

This is why I think that Kevin probably spends a lot of nights getting wasted by himself. While outwardly he is often very analytical in terms of things like exy and relating to other people, for example his apathy regarding Seth's death or Neil's injuries. Internally, however, he is an extremely emotionally intense person.

This comes out only when he is around really significant trauma triggers, essentially only when Riko is mentioned or when he has to see him in person.

A lot of people joke that Kevin is a coward, but I don't think he is. I think the amount of abuse that happens at the Nest is so intense that the fact Kevin can be in the same room as Riko at all proves how strong he is.

I think what drives him more than fear is grief, that's buried so deep down he can't see it until he's wasted. Riko was his abuser, but they were also inseparable. It's hard to reconcile that.

Kevin is grieving the loss of a brother, he is coming to terms with the fact that someone he cared for so deeply, who was such a large part of his life, could betray him in all of the ways he did. He is grieving the fact that he left Jean there, knowing how horribly Riko treats him.

It is to the point where he needs Andrew to ground him to the Foxes, to not run back there for all of the things he has lost.

I think there are a lot of moments readers didn't get to see where Kevin gets really drunk and can't help but sob. Quietly, into a pillow, somewhere where he's alone and no one can hear. I think when that happens, he either finds Andrew or Andrew finds him.

Andrew doesn't comfort Kevin. Doesn't try to. He just listens to the sounds and if Kevin wants to talk he lets him, even though it's basically unintelligible or sometimes it's in French. Andrew takes the bottle from him and puts it out of reach when Kevin is getting too drunk to not get alcohol poisoning.

Andrew makes sure Kevin gets to bed and leaves a puke bucket within reach. For his sake, not Kevin's. On the worst nights, he's stayed up to make sure Kevin doesn't die in his sleep.

They never speak of this. Andrew doesn't know if Kevin remembers, but he does in bits and pieces. And he seeks Andrew out enough times for Andrew to know his presence is wanted and not an intrusion.

I think when he finally gets sober, Andrew is there for him like that too. Just a presence. Instead of keeping Kevin from returning to Riko, he keeps him grounded when he wants nothing more than to drown himself in a bottle of something. Years down the line, on the rare nights Kevin contemplates breaking his sobriety, he video calls Andrew.

Andrew always answers, and rarely talks. Kevin might say one or two things, but mostly they just sit there together on the phone, Kevin knowing Andrew will come after him if he thinks Kevin is relapsing. Kevin will get a look on his face when the urges get bad, and Andrew will see it and simply say "no," and for some reason that's always enough to drag him back.

[justonemorewallflower]

Bruises

Fandom: Battlestar Galactica

Pairing: Kara x Lee

Prompt: Bruises

WC: 500

TWs: mentions of ab*se, self-h*rm, bruises, etc.

***

Ever since she had gotten back from New Caprica Lee could tell Kara was different. He didn't know what had happened to her there but he knew something had at least, something that had changed her.

She never talked about it and while he couldn't blame her, he wished she would. That she would open up about it because maybe it would lessen the pain. But he knew that wasn't how Kara worked. She faced her problems and pain alone, she always did her best to make sure to not put them on others, or make them anyone else's problem too.

The first week after she had come back had been the worst. She had been the most different and far off, hard to reach. And he couldn't ignore the bruises.

Someone had hurt her. Abused her. And it pissed him off. He knew it hadn't been Sam but sometimes a part of him had wished it was so she'd have an excuse to leave him and Lee could finally have her, since she had chosen to run instead when he had offered her the idea to finally be together.

There weren't a lot, but it was enough, especially if you looked closely. Especially if you knew Kara like he did. She never let people hurt her, if she could help it. So seeing her as beat up as she was was concerning, to know someone had worn her down enough to the point where she just took the abuse rather than tried to fight it. Where that was the easier option.

And while the injuries were clearly from abuse of some sort he couldn't help but to wonder if any were self inflicted. If she had tried to escape whatever hell she had faced there by attempting to die. If it had been bad enough he knew she probably had. If her spirit had gotten broken beyond repair.

He knew it had because otherwise she would have been making jokes about it after day one. To make light of it, to cope, because that's what she typically did.

But she instead stayed quiet about it and Kara never stayed quiet. She was brash and loud and hated keeping to herself. She always spoke her mind.

She wasn't just staying silent. She was hiding too, and that was even more concerning. She was locking herself away, refusing to talk to anyone and almost seeming scared whenever someone tried to approach her. That was the biggest difference. Kara Thrace never showed fear, but now it seemed to be the only emotion she had left.

Lee knew the physical bruises would go away sooner or later, but the internal ones wouldn't. Those were the ones he was most concerned about.

And while she was avoiding everyone he knew he would have to be the one person to try and heal her wounds. And maybe, if he was lucky, she'd let him.

Maybe he could fix her bruises, once and for all.

***

A little ficlet/quintuple drabble I wrote. Inspired by the word bruises. I feel like this could be a good intro to a longer fic or oneshot. Maybe one day I will add to it. For now though it'll just remain as this as I'm challenging myself to write more drabbles/ficlets because even my one shots usually end up being at least 2k words. I have been physically incapable of writing anything short for Kara and Lee thus far and I'm wanting to change that so this is one of my first attempts. I have another I posted in a Tumblr community and another that is in my Google docs. But that's only 3 (around 1500 words) out of around the total 170,000 words I have written for this pair/fandom. That says a lot haha. I have a tendency to overcomplicate things or at least struggle to write any simple and more vague one shots so I am forcing myself to do exactly that at least a little bit more. So far I like the results and hope I can keep coming up with good ones. I will be posting this on AO3 as well within the next day or so just y'all are aware haha. Feel free to let me know your thoughts too :)

[depressedhatakekakashi]

I've had enough with my own sad head canons for Dragon Gai in GOS verse, it's time for a funny one.

So it takes a WHILE for Gai to fly, or more accurately, even ATTEMPT to fly. His wings fold up almost perfectly along his long body, so the first time he even cracks them open even a little, he's freaked out by how big they are, and because he opened one more than the other, he ended up falling over. Because they're heavy and throw off his body weight. Worst than that he ended up falling on Kakashi, who was encouraging him to to show him

Kakashi: *Squished* Can't breath. Heeeeelp!

Gai: Sorry Rival!

But, running up and down the valley from the top of a mountain, to the village below, is a LONG trek. And it would save time if he used the wings. So after a while Gai agreed ro start practicing to use tgem, and learn how to fly...and it did not go smoothly.

At first he tried flapping his wings from the ground but can't quite find the timing right so just ends up making large bursts of air that blow away Pakkun the first time he got too close ("SORRY PUPPY!" He needed to give a lot of cuddles to get forgiveness from the pooch. And maybe get a few bones for him). When he got the timing right, the rest of his body was so long and slithery, he couldn't get more than a few feet off the air, and the rest of him was hanging limp and he ended up face planting more than once. ("Ow!") So he finally tried a running start and that started to get it, only he realized that his long body needed to sort of move with it, like riding a bike to keep it straight. But he didn't know how to do that so he sometimes ended up spinning out of control and crashing into things, buuldings, fields and a LOT of trees ("MORE OWWWW!") This probably ended up tearing up a good chunk of Yamato's forest.

So after many failured attempts and at least getting the basics of gliding under control, Kakashi realized they needed some elevation to make these wings work properly, after watching a couple of baby birds getting pushed out of a nest. He figured with the right elevation, Gai's wings and body could have the time to uncurl and right itself, and take off tonthe skies properly... Only problem is there were not any trees big enough to make that work so they'd have to launch themself off a mountain to get a big enough momentum.

Gai: *looking down the cliff side*..... Nope. *turns and tries to walk away*

Kakashi: *stops him* It's not that big~

Gai: ITS A MOUNTAIN KAKASHI. IT IS VERY BIG.

Kakashi: it's big for a human-

Gai: WHICH I AM.

Kakashi: Buuuut you're also a bit more than that. And we've seen how big you are. What you can take. This isn't going to hurt you.

Gai: Lies and slander. This will hurt a lot.

Kakashi: Okay. It MAY hurt if we fail- BUT I promise to be right there with you. You won't get hurt. Temari is here to give us the gust of wind you need to take off, I won't let you die if anything goes wrong. You can do this... i believe in you.

And so (after 4 more stops mid way before jumping off because HOLY CRAP IT WAS HIGH!) Gai finally launched off the side of the cliff with Kakashi on his head. The air currents were good and Gai did his first successful flight!

...for approximately 2 minutes before spiraling out of control because figuring out how it all came together was not easy. Gai and Kakashi ended up spinning out of control, and crash landed into a grassy field, where ended up squashed once again, under under Gai's dragon butt. Needless to say it was the least dignified moment of the god's life. (Temari. Told. Everyone.)

But they kept at it. Within five years Gai mastered flying, learning to take off from any height. And the two were free to travel the skies together for hundreds of years.

But yeah that's my take on Gai learning how to fly. What do you thin0k 😁👍

Poor Kakashi is never gonna hear the end of it XD every-time he starts pissing Obito off he’ll have to hear ‘at least i’ve never been crushed by a dragon’s ass’ and like honestly

How does one argue with that? xD (also super fitting for the scene in kakashi hidan where he accidentally smushes his face into Gai’s ass XD)

Really love Kakashi trying his best to help Gai learn to fly, and pushing him to just take that leap of faith in the end and spread his wings.

I think the hounds would cheer Gai on as he practice’s, running through the sky around him. It’s where the legends of thunder storms following him comes from

Cuz the hounds always follow him and Kakashi through the sky. Not always all of them, but at least one of them and 90% of the time it’s pakkun and Bill

[nabtime]

Our Empty Graves VI

Fandom: Danny Phantom / Batman: Under the Red Hood

Pairings: Danny Fenton/Jason Todd (Dead on Main)

Rating: Mature

Tags: batfamily, hazmat AU, Nobody Knows AU, Mute!Phantom, potential ghost king danny, slow burn?, DC means Disregard Canon, AU means AU nothing is exactly the same, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, more than canon typical violence, danny is a Halfa and also a Fetch, no beta we die like basically everyone

Summary: They say that Red Hood has a loyal mutt. The man rules his territory in Crime Alley with an iron fist and a guard dog at his side. They say that Hood calls him Fetch, sometimes Fetcher. No one's ever heard him speak. Anyone who's ever seen him says he looks like an experiment gone wrong, that Hood picked him up somewhere unspeakable. They say he'll do anything Red Hood asks of him and he'll do it well. That he's strong and fast and probably inhuman. The girls say he's sweet; quiet but charming in his own way. Rival gangs say he's vicious; that he'd sooner rip your throat out than let you go.

Jason just wants to help him.

Chapter 6: i’ll cover the mirror (til it shows me someone i can face)

Chapter Summary: Danny settles into being part of Red Hood's gang. Gets shot and almost bleeds out. Again. Red Hood doesn't let him and also makes grilled cheese.

Chapter Notes: title from I WENT TO HELL AND BACK by AS IT IS Links: AO3 // Chapter 1 // Chapter 5 // Chapter 7 // Spotify

Danny would often just drift about the apartment. Haunting it. He certainly wasn’t living in it. One would have to be living first, in order to do that. No, the safe-house apartment Red Hood insisted he stay in was a place he haunted. Shambling aimlessly unless called upon by Red Hood himself or the screams of someone in need within the Alley.

He’d been in the Alley, working under Red’s command, for three weeks now and he’d say he was getting pretty familiar with his surroundings now. Learning the layout, learning the people, learning the rules both known and unspoken. Learning more about the politics and about Red Hood’s hostile takeover.

He’d been right that Red Hood was a new Gotham Rogue. But he’d been wrong about the man’s character. He was ruthless, true, but only to those that crossed the line. He could be callous, but only to those that deserved it. Sure, the duffel bag of heads was probably a bit much and might even be considered needlessly cruel. But he’d done it with purpose. He’d done it for a good reason.

Red Hood was trying to take over the Alley and make it better. He’d seen the plans. The strategies in motion. Harm reduction. Protection. Housing projects. Assistance programs. All of these funded by his gang, run by the community, and controlled by Red Hood through his lieutenants. He was a Crime Lord in the sense that all crime within his purview was controlled and run through him. His methods were bloody and oftentimes vile, but they worked. Danny had come to really admire him in the few weeks he’d been running errands for the guy.

And he was, honestly, often just running errands.

“Go help this family move in, I know you have super strength. Put it to use.”

“One of the girls isn’t feeling well and Ms. Bajorek made her some soup. Drop it off for me. You don’t have anything better to do anyway.”

“Here’s a list of groceries and a tip for Mr. Nguyen when you get them. I’m making you and the Alley kids lunch today. Don’t argue, I know you haven’t eaten, Glowstick.”

When Danny asked, the man had shrugged and said, “Well, since you won’t tell me more about what a Fetch is I’m gonna take the name seriously. So, you know,” and handed him a list, “go fetch.”

For all that he was a Crime Lord that did Crime Lord things, there was also quite a bit of mundane managerial tasks he had to do to keep everything running. And he was so meticulous about it all. Danny would often watch him in awe, hovering over his shoulder as he ran calculations and mapped out routes. Patrol routes that would cover the most vulnerable areas, delivery routes that would hit the most in need, drug running routes that would ensure the product stayed clean from the source to the buyer and cutting down anyone that messed with it. Red Hood had plans upon plans upon plans. Take out an uprising here, build a clean shelter for the houseless there, plant a communal garden, shoot one of Black Mask’s men in the kneecaps. Everything had a time and a place and was leading towards a safer city. Even if his methods were less than desirable.

Red Hood did bring him on more serious tasks, though. Ones that needed doing quickly and efficiently and viciously. Ones where mercy wasn’t likely and back-up was needed for stragglers. Red Hood never ordered him to take a life, never made him cross that line he was reluctant to cross. It wasn’t that Danny had any compunctions against killing, but he didn’t think he had the stomach for it himself. Didn’t think he could live with a death so directly on his conscious when so many were already piled there. He didn’t want to think about the ghosts that might come back to haunt him. He admired Red’s resolve all the more for it. He was ruthless but he was practical. He didn’t shy away from taking a life that didn’t deserve to keep living, but he spared all those that could reform.

Danny was always there as his shadow, as the menacing monster he kept on a leash. He was starting to earn a reputation in Gotham’s criminal underground. Red Hood’s loyal dog. Get too close and he might bite. (He’d only ever done that once, turning his mask intangible and lunging, his fangs sinking into reprehensible flesh. The woman had been beating a child. She lost her arm for it.)

He was also known, embarrassingly enough, as a sweetheart among the girls and the kids. A mystery and most times scary and off-putting. But the girls still cooed whenever he came to their rescue and the kids insisted on following him around (the braver ones even attempting to climb him like a tree). He didn’t know how to feel about it. Most of the time he popped out of invisibility rather than mingle. He was supposed to be a monster. Just a ghost haunting the city. In Amity the people had fled at the sight of him, screaming even as he saved them. They knew what he was, knew to treat him accordingly. But- the people here- they- It was different. He tried not to think about it too often.

Communication was something he was working on. Red Hood seemed to be the only one really able to puzzle out his game of charades, the others taking ages to guess what he meant or giving up after the first few tries. He rarely went anywhere by himself unless Red Hood specifically sent him out or it was an impromptu rescue, so it wasn’t often a problem if Red could translate. One of the kids had given him a whiteboard and a dry-erase marker at one point, making it so much easier. He kept them phased in his suit whenever he went out. One of the guys that ran with the girls had offered to teach him sign, but the lessons were slow-going and sporadic. He’d only had two in the past three weeks. But maybe someday he’d get there. He didn’t try to ‘speak’ much anyway. These past three weeks had been the first time in years anyone had even tried to talk to him. Most Amity Parkers had seen him and run and the ghosts he fought just tried to kill him.

Again, he tried not to think about it too much.

There wasn’t much else to do, though. He drifted through the halls of the apartment Red Hood had shoved him into, only occasionally using the couch for naps when gathering ectoplasm wasn’t enough to recharge, and it left his mind free to wander to dark places. Places he didn’t want to visit.

It felt odd. To inhabit a space meant for humans. To have a place to sleep and eat and live again. Red had come by a few times with ingredients and cooked for him in the empty kitchen, saying he didn’t care what Danny was- he needed to eat sometimes. Danny would obediently eat when the man was there, but the leftovers often went to rot. He felt bad about it. That was food that could go to someone else, someone who needed it more. But he could never bring himself to eat without company. It felt wrong. Ghosts didn’t eat. Didn’t need to eat. Often he would open the fridge and just stare. Stare at the food that was made for him, the food that he was allowed and encouraged to eat. It felt like too much and he’d shut the door.

He’d been drifting through the kitchen when the walkie-talkie Red used to talk to him from a distance with crackled to life. They’d tried regular burner phones, but something about Danny’s whole- being, didn’t agree with good signal. So after pouring a little bit of his own ectoplasm into the radio, the walkie-talkie seemed to be the only thing to work.

“You there, Fetcher?” Hood’s voice was extra staticky through his mask and the radio, but at least he didn’t seem hurried or in pain. Starting a mission or patrol instead of in the middle of one, then. Danny really didn’t like it when Hood called on him because he was injured, hated seeing the man in pain like that even as he felt honored to be trusted.

Three taps against the speaker. Yes.

Danny couldn’t exactly talk into the radio and without working burner phones he couldn’t text. So they had a system of taps that Hood could hear instead. Three for yes, four for no. Two taps for help, and five for false alarm.

“Good. We got some fuckers trying to take back territory for Black Mask. Need you to help me scare ‘em shitless.”

Three taps. Pause. Three more. Hell yes.

“Good boy,” and damn if that didn’t give him a highly inappropriate shiver. “Meet me on the roof and we’ll plan our ambush from there.”

Well, here’s hoping for a fun night of bashing heads and shooting out kneecaps.

═════ ◈ ═════

Danny stumbled into the tiny bathroom of his apartment, clutching his stomach in a bid to stem the flow of toxic green blood, gloved fingers slick with the substance.

His free hand slammed down onto the sink counter for balance as he wobbled and he made the mistake of looking up. Looking up into the mirror.

He never looked at his reflection. Hated the sight of it. The reminder that he was no longer human. Would never be human again. The thing that gazed back at him from the surface of the mirror was a monster. With the lights off in the bathroom it was extra eerie. Black hooded figure blending into the shadows, nothing standing out except for the pinpricks of glowing green eyes- reflecting like tapeta lucidum from under his tinted visor. The outline of his breathing apparatus just barely there, like the maw of a beast just barely in view. The only other source of light was the glow of the blood dripping through his white gloved hand.

He turned from his reflection with disgust and tumbled into the bathtub, hoping to rest and soak in whatever ectoplasm he lost. Here he could just- lay down and also not make a mess. He’d hate to have Red Hood flambe another couch because of him.

He hadn’t meant to get shot. Honest. He’d gone intangible, he knew he did. The bullet should have never hit his abdomen. It should never have caused as much damage as it was currently doing. He was bleeding so much… Man he really hoped Hood didn’t show up while he was trying to heal in the bathtub. He didn’t need to face the man while delirious with blood loss again. The first time was embarrassing enough, he didn’t want a second.

The wound was healing so slowly… There was something about that bullet. About that gun. Something wasn’t adding up here.

It was like he’d been hit with one of his parent’s inventions all over again.

Black Mask wouldn’t deal in ectoplasm, would he? What use would he have for it? He’d heard something about a kryptonite shipment that Hood was planning to ambush, so maybe the rarity? It was from another dimension after all. Didn’t matter that the place where Amity used to be was still crawling with it and so was Gotham. It wasn’t easily harvestable for humans. The GIW or his parents might be the only ones with a good supply, and even then they couldn’t control what type it was. For weapons it might be useful, if it was combative ecto. Some people had adverse reactions; tingling, numbing, temporary paralysis. If you were a ghost or ghost adjacent it was worse. So much worse.

In the beginning, most Amity Parkers were fine if they got hit by a blaster, just annoyed and covered in goo. But as time went on and more and more people were exposed, more and more of them started becoming susceptible to the many uses ectoplasm could have. Good to use for healing with the regenerative ecto but also more likely to be hit by a stray blast of combative ecto and not come back up. His high school classmates had been particularly vulnerable, having been infected multiple times directly. The combative type would take them down and then the healing type would bring them right back up. It could take time, though, if you were human- time some of his classmates hadn’t had enough of.

They’d lost a lot of people before they realized they had to be more careful with their shots. Before they realized that the thing that was killing them could also bring them back. Stupid. It’d all been so stupid. It had taken so, so many times of him trying to frantically heal everyone hit before his parents arrived to shoot him indiscriminately, before anyone realized he was trying to help them. And even then they hadn’t trusted him. It was one of the last things he did before giving up on being human. The last time he’d pretended to be alive, just to sneak into his parent’s lab and leave them a sample of regenerative ectoplasm and a theory written in his dad’s handwriting.

It didn’t matter how careful his parents pretended to be with it- the suits, the breathing apparatuses, the heavy gloves and protective eye-wear- they still slung it around in the name of taking down evil ghosts. Shots firing every which way- hitting people and poisoning the land around them. Whatever got the ghost. Whatever “saved the day”. It’s not like it actually hurt anyone, right?

Ectoplasm was a funny thing. It’s what ghosts were made of. What they fought with. What they ate and used to heal. What the lairs they inhabited were made of. Goo but with feelings. Multipurpose soul juice. The thing that he was losing a lot of…

Man, he was starting to feel a bit dizzy. He sure hoped the wound would start to heal itself soon, before he fainted and couldn’t do anything about it… Would be a silly way to fully go out. Bleeding out in a bathtub.

Oh, his vision was going black.

Well, it was no worse than the first time he died…

═════ ◈ ═════

He could remember the initial disappointment the most. How his parents had deflated so completely when the culmination of decades of work had failed them at the most pivotal point. He remembered the uncertainty- they could live off the patents, yes, but they weren’t exactly bought all that often and they mostly got by on the grant money. And if the grant money was gone because none of their inventions or theories or anything ever worked- then how would they survive? He remembered the despair. He remembered the relief he felt when the portal didn’t work at first. Maybe without the portal in the way his parents would pay more attention to him, spend more time with him. And then the guilt because his parents just looked so sad. He remembered the discomfort, the whole family dressed in their restrictive HazMat suits. He remembered how suffocating the SCBA felt to breathe in and how hard it was to move in. How hot it’d been. He remembered his parents ushering them all back to the entrance to dress down in heavy silence.

He remembered his parents going back to the drawing board, however dejectedly, and learning to resent the portal all the more for it.

And then Sam had presented him with a challenge. A dare. Goading him into exploring the portal on his own. To look into the maw of the monster and place himself inside its jaw. This was a mystery in need of exploring and Danny was the only one that could do it.

They’d huddled together, the three of them, at the entrance to the lab. Sam eager, Tucker reluctant, and Danny… Danny had been scared. They’d snuck in after his parents had left, and they’d been alone in the lab when they really, really shouldn’t have.

Uneasy, he had donned the HazMat suit once again. Piece by piece. White with black trim. Specifically designed by his parents to deal with non-vapor ectoplasm. Not that they’d seemed to ever encounter it. He had prepped all his pieces, made sure his tank was full of oxygen. Checked for cracks and tears. His hands had shaken the entire time. He had pulled the mask over his face, pulled the overalls over his jeans and clipped them into place. He had snapped the nitrile gloves on, tearing one in the process and having to get another. He had then stopped to watch his hands flex under the gray material, trying to put off the inevitable. The hooded coverall had come next, slipping his socked feet into the strange material of the white suit. His socks had been mismatched- one red and one blue. Then the black boots with steel toes and shanks. Then the outer gloves. Then the tape to seal it all in. To seal him in his tomb. And lastly he had shrugged on the tank and connected it to his mask and turned the oxygen on. And with heavy, heavy feet, he’d made his way into the lab proper. To the dreaded portal.

He could remember the chill he’d felt, before he’d even stepped near. Remembered the sense of impending doom. He’d taken one last look back at his friends, taking in the hesitant thumbs up from Tucker and the happy shooing motion from Sam. She’d thought it all so cool. Thought that trying to study ghosts, trying to punch a hole in their dimension to do it, was all just fascinating. After though… After she couldn’t even think about ghosts without paling, without running. Running from him.

He’d seen the pale imitation of a reflection in the glass that sectioned off the entrance from the lab proper, face unrecognizable behind his mask and gaping hole of darkness set behind him. Translucent like he was already a ghost. He’d pulled the small flashlight his suit had within its pockets and had shone it into the abyss. Small glow piercing the sticky shadows. He’d felt the livewire energy beneath his feet when he’d stepped inside, but did not heed the warning. It was just wires and metal plating. Nothing more and nothing less. It was another of his parent’s failed inventions. He’d thought nothing more of it before diving further in.

The cables. The cables that his parents- his mother more- had been adamant about keeping tied away and neatly stored within the machine itself had been strewn about. A result of his father’s frustrated tinkering in the aftermath. And what had it mattered to him that he hadn’t placed them back where they should have gone? His prized invention was moot, anyway. There was no harm in leaving a mess when the mess was inert. When nothing was likely to happen anyway.

But Danny hadn’t seen them. His pen light had been facing above, checking the upper pallet of the monster he had climbed inside. Checking for teeth. And then he’d tripped. And he’d felt fear like he’d never felt before. Heart-stopping. He’d faintly heard the grumbling roar of a hungry beast, felt the eagerness like it’d been palpable around him. And his hand had landed on a button that shouldn’t have been there. The secondary on switch that had been forgotten about. Until that moment.

And after that it was nothing but pain. Burning, scorching, tearing. Fire and shock and blinding white pain like he’d never experienced in his life before. Like he was melting and being ripped to shreds at the same time.

And all he remembered was screaming and screaming and screaming. And there had been nothing but green and green and green until it all. Went. Black.

Anything that had immediately happened after his half-death was a blur. Stumbling out of the portal feeling wrong. Not even noticing that he was completely alone in the lab. That Sam and Tucker had fled with the flash and the screaming. He barely remembered doffing his gear, completely haphazardly and with no regard to the burnt and melting pieces. Collapsing on the bench and blacking out until he was being shaken awake by his sister. Jazz had been crying, taking in the lichtenburg scar that was less lighting through his veins as more burns across his skin in the same pattern. She’d been desperately shaking him awake. He remembered looking over and seeing his parents watching the swirling green of the functioning portal with gleeful awe. His mother turning with a question on her lips before it all morphed into concern. He remembered his mother and father being so worried about him as they had loaded him up into an ambulance. But he’d also remembered that the portal had come first. That the portal had always come first.

Scratchy sheets and thin blankets. Bland jello and plain broth as his vocal chords healed from being shredded by his screaming. Burn cream and bandages. Stress tests and neurological checks. Can you squeeze my hands? Breath deep for me. Look into this light. Can you raise your arms? Twitching nerves and bradycardia. Hands that would shake under stress and a temperature permanently low- no matter how many times they placed him under the heated air blanket- the bair-hugger. All he’d ever felt was suffocated. Overheated. Drowning.

Low, low, low. Everything had been low. Dangerously. Blood pressure check. Low. Alarmed Nurses and Doctors, checking and rechecking. Adjusting the cuff, moving the cuff, using a manual cuff. Low, lower, lowest. Heart rate check. Too low. Too, too low. Stand up. Sit down. Walk. Move. Please, please move. And it would get higher, just a little bit. Acceptable. But not for having just been forced to jog. Respiration check. Slow, slower, slowest. Breathing any faster had made him feel like he was going to panic. Temperature check. Freezing. Frigid. Too low, again and again. He’d never felt so cold in his life. Something was wrong. Something was very, very wrong.

But his heart was still beating, however slow. His lungs were still expanding, however infrequent. He was still alive. Mostly. Probably. Right?

Sam and Tuck never visited.

And then the changes began.

It didn’t happen until he’d been released from the hospital. Cleared only after meeting with every specialist under the sun and getting hesitant approval for outpatient care. Talks of pacemakers, burn treatments, and invasive surgeries in his future. And then he fell through his bed.

Not out of. Not on top of. Through.

He’d woken up in a panic underneath his bed- and holy shit had it been rank under there, he really needed to clean more- in the dark and in the dust, not knowing what had happened. He’d crawled out from under it and flopped back onto his bedspread, heedless of whatever grossness he’d dragged with him. He’d been too tired to think about why he’d woken up under the bed, but in the morning- bed sheets covered in dust- it had been harder to forget. But there had been no answers, not then. Nothing to even guess at, nothing at all to tell him that he hadn’t just died in that accident, but had become the monster under his own bed. Inhuman.

He’d woken up a different day, feeling heavy and like it was hard to breathe. He’d felt disoriented and out of sorts. Then he’d seen his hands. Covered in gloves. White, rubbery, chemical-resistant gloves. And with dawning horror he’d looked down and seen those heavy white steel-toed boots. And the bunched black material of a hazmat suit. The colors were wrong- he was wrong. But it was the same suit. The same one he’d almost died in. And suddenly he’d realized that maybe that almost wasn’t as almost as he’d first thought. That there hadn’t been an almost at all, just death. Just. Death.

And then he’d spiraled. Had he been pretending this whole time? Convinced himself and everyone else he was alive when he’d really been a wolf in sheep’s clothing? A monster just waiting to tear off the thin veneer of life he’d disguised himself with?

And then there had been a knock on his door and the surprise of the sound had shocked him into reverting back to human form. And from there the process had been slow and painful, but he’d learned. Learned of the word Halfa, the term Fetch, and what it meant for him. Learned how to fight, quick and dirty, in order to prevent himself and the rest of his town from becoming full ghosts. Learned that despite his heroics, deep down, he was still a monster. Other. He’d never been exactly normal, not with parents like his, but now it felt impossible to be comfortable in his own skin. Unsettling. Disturbing. Nightmarish. A creepy little boy with creepy little powers. It was all he’d become and all he’d ever be. Didn’t matter how cool the powers were on the surface, how much he distracted himself from the truth by playing with them. He’d still had to deal with the fact that he was no longer human. Not fully. And no one knew. Nobody would ever know. He’d seen to that.

Not that it mattered now. Not with everybody gone. Long gone. And it was all his fault.

═════ ◈ ═════

“Son of a bitch,” came the familiar static of Rad Hood’s voice, rousing Danny from his dazed state. “Don’t you fucking die on me you limp noodle!”

Danny wanted to groan. He could feel bandages tightening around his midsection, hands- shaking hands?- winding the fabric around a tender bullet hole, parts of his suit cut off and leaving his skin vulnerable to the air when it so rarely was.

No. Danny clumsily signed. It was one of the few things he could sign, along with- Good.

“No,” Red said angrily, “you are not good. I had to fish a bullet out of you, Fetcher!”

He sounded distressed. Or maybe that was just Danny still delirious from blood loss. Again. He really needed to stop doing that. He let out a calming trill, hoping that would get the man to relax and stop yelling. It did not.

“Don’t you make stupid noises at me, Jellyfish,” he reprimanded, voice terse. He was close, so very close, hands still busy wrapping up Danny’s abdomen. Red’s body loomed over his, crammed into the tiny space of the tub. He could see the tweezers and saline and suspiciously green bullet still sitting on the lid of the toilet next to them. “You’re a fucking dumbass coming back here and just laying in your stupid toxic blood. What were you planning to do? Marinate? Idiot.”

He wanted to protest. He signed another No. And even tapped out four taps for a No he would use for the walkie-talkie for good measure. He hadn’t exactly planned to keep bleeding into the bathtub, alright? How was he supposed to know the bullet would stay lodged in there? I mean, sure, he could have made an educated guess before passing out, but still.

“What kind of guy that can density-shift gets shot in the first place, anyway?”

Danny rolled his eyes and smacked Hood’s shoulder for that. Not his fault the bullets were phase-proof when they shouldn’t have been.

“Don’t you smack me when I’m trying to save your life,” he grumbled, tying off the wrapping and sitting up. “Asshole.”

Red crossed his arms and glared down at Danny, his bulk almost blocking out the light above them. His knees caged in Danny’s hips and they were awfully, awfully close. Damned blood loss again.

He sighed without making sound, his shoulders rising even as he felt a twinge from his would pulling. With the bullet out he’d start healing in no time. Not that Red knew that. He patted Hood’s thigh in reassurance and immediately regretted it. What the hell kind of juicy-ass thighs did this man have? What the fuck. He needed to focus, dammit.

He motioned with the other hand for something to write with, scribbling in the air.

“Don’t you carry a whiteboard?” Red asked flatly.

Danny pointed to the wrappings around his wound. He kept the whiteboard and marker in his chest. He couldn’t phase that out right now if he tried. He couldn’t phase anything right now. He was surprised to find that he was even still in his phantom form, probably thanks to Hood’s interference, otherwise his core would have retreated into itself and used all other available ectoplasm to heal while in “human” form.

Red shook his head and climbed out of the tub. “Alright, alright, jellyfish. H-up we go.”

How many times was Danny just going to be casually scooped up by this guy and carried like a princess? Twice was already too many to keep his dignity intact. Once again he was plopped onto the couch and left as Red rooted around for something to write with. Deja vu, much?

He came back with a legal pad and a purple crayon. Why crayons? Always crayons?

“Explain,” he demanded, handing off the utensils.

Danny grabbed a cushion and used it as a makeshift table of sorts to balance the legal pad on and began writing. At least this time he could use his hands properly. Even if they were shaky from the anemia.

Bullets didn’t pass through like they should have. Something is wrong. They shouldn’t be like that. Coated in something Black Mask shouldn’t have access to.

He flipped the pad around, Red grabbing the edge to keep it steady as he read.

“Well, kid,” he said, slowly. “Looks like you’re fucked.”

Danny flipped him off. Not helpful, Red.

“Any idea what this substance is that our number one enemy shouldn’t have is?” he asked, settling down to sit on the flimsy coffee table right beside the couch. Danny was surprised it could hold his weight.

The question made him pause, though. Did he tell Red Hood about ectoplasm? Risk the man finding out more about what, exactly, kind of monster he insisted on harboring in his territory? Risk his only ally ratting him out to the GIW?

He kept silent, hesitant. He trusted Red. He did. But not that much, not yet. If it became a bigger problem, became a problem that was going to hurt others, then he’d confess. But for now he shook his head, hoping Red would take his silence as contemplative instead of edgy.

(The incident with the knife that had left Red Hood himself paralyzed with a dangerously growing weakness, was far from his mind. He hadn’t seen the green sheen to the knife that cut the man. Had no reason to know that combative ectoplasm would have such harsh repercussions for him. The consequences of this were yet unknown.)

Hood hummed and Danny couldn’t tell if it was because he believed him or not but mercifully the man moved on. Unmercifully, Danny did not like the change in subject.

“You need more hand-to-hand if your powers are going to be useless. You rely on them too much as it is.”

Danny ripped a page from the legal pad and threw it at him. He knew how to fight just fine, thanks! Sure he’d learned it all on the fly, but still! He could brawl!

Red snickered as he caught the paper and threw it back. “Non-negotiable, jellyfish. I’m kicking your ass for almost dying on me tonight.”

Danny threw his hands up, exasperated. He hadn’t almost died! He’d have been fine! Probably. Maybe not. But still! No ass kicking required! He crossed his arms and tried to project the feeling of a pout. Maybe he could puppy-dog eye his way out of this. Red Hood was built like a tank and if he was the one that was going to teach Danny how to properly fight, then no thank you. He may be okay with the thought of dying by those thighs, but he’d rather not be bruised all to hell first. He also didn’t want to loose any more dignity and he was sure that sparring with Red would take all he had left.

“Nope,” Hood said cheerfully, ignoring Danny’s silent protests as he moved toward the kitchen and rummaged around Danny’s fridge. “No amount of sparkly-eyed looks will get you out of this, glowstick. I’m talking to Sandra in the morning and setting up a time in the dojo for us and that’s final.”

Danny waved his hand in a flopping motion, resigned. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Whatever. Woe be unto him and all that. Death by Hood punches it was.

“Why do you not have anything in this fucking fridge ever,” he heard Hood mutter, along with clinks and bangs as he moved about. “I swear to Batman’s furry ass if you haven’t eaten since Friday you’ll be wishing I killed you earlier tomorrow.”

Batman’s furry ass?! Tomorrow?!

“Don’t act surprised,” he rebuffed, voice still distracted as he dug through cabinets and gathered any and all cookware that was only there because Red brought it in the first place. “If you insist you’re fine I’m gonna treat you that way. I know you have accelerated healing.”

Danny slapped the couch cushions so Red Hood would properly hear his protests. Ancients, he really was going to die. Hood was going to kill him. Kill him good and dead. He was not long for this world. Goodbye, all, there wasn’t anything good keeping him here anyhow.

“Well, shit, at least you got cheese and bread. Somehow. How have neither of these gone bad already?”

Ooh, does that mean grilled cheese is on the menu? Suddenly he found his will to live.

He popped up from behind the couch like a meerkat looking towards the kitchen, excited at the possibility of cheesy-bready goodness. The only thing missing was tomato soup, but he knew he didn’t have that in his cabinets.

Hood leveled a threatening spatula at him as he turned to face the living room. “You. Get back down. Losers who bleed out because they agitated wounds don’t get the good stuff.”

Danny huffed and fell back into the couch. Spoilsport. It’s not like it even hurt anymore. He was fine. Would be fine. Probably.

Oh man, he was really gonna hate tomorrow. But tonight- grilled cheese and witty banter would heal his heart and soul. And probably also the ectoplasm. But, the power of Red Hood’s grilled cheese was not to be underestimated.

[cosmicjoke]

I just wanted to let you know that you’re my go to blog when I want to ask about opinions / read about insights when it comes to AoT;

because almost everywhere I go is just people constantly fighting about ships or some stupid shit that isn’t even there. It’s just constant discussion about that vow you’re talking about in your pinned post, how Levi only ever cared only about Erwin, how Levi has no emotions, how when Levi talked with Eren after his entire squad died in the dining hall there is only one other chair is pulled out in between them; and is the chair that Petra sat in — proves that Levi was in love with her and so on and so forth…

I must admit that those people who are pushing their XY thing sometimes have me confused as well, so

thank you for answering numerous questions about the same thing, I can’t even imagine how annoying it must get when you answer the same question 100 times — you’re one of the few people that I came across who actually can tell the difference between fanon and canon and as I said your insights are my favourite.

Thank you so much. I really appreciate that, truly.

Yeah, it does get annoying, lol. I would say probably 80% of the asks I get are about specifically questions surrounding Levi's relationship with Erwin and, particularly, the "vow" and whether or not he cared about humanity. It's maddening, honestly. Like, do these people not care about ANY other aspect of Levi's character? There's so much to talk about with him. He's a multilayered, complex character, which is why I'm able to write so much about him to begin with. But all these people seem to be able to focus on, and care about, was whether or not Levi was in love with Erwin or not, or some other character. He's not in love with anyone, and that's as obvious as anything in the story, so I don't know why it's even a question, let alone the dominating question about his character. And then their interpretations of the story and of Levi's actions and behavior are always filtered through this lens of him being in love with character A, B or C, or being wholly devoted to said character. It's annoying. I've really begun to see why some people say they've been turned off of particular ships because of it.

Like, damn, let's talk about Levi's multiple character traits. Let's talk about his compassion, his intelligence, his fighting ability, what he represents within the story, what he stands for, etc... There's so much there, but most people online choose to just ignore it in favor of this endless, running in circles non-issue of "Was Levi in love with whoever or not". Because Levi made a single decision to show compassion for a friend and fellow comrade by letting him die instead of forcing him to continue ruining his own mind by carrying an unbearable burden (one which, at that point, he wouldn't have been effective at anyway, something people conveniently ignore when talking about this), by being humane, we're now supposed to question whether Levi ever cared about humanity. It's so stupid.

I wrote a post recently talking about how I think, instead of saying Levi was fighting for humanity, what we should really be saying is that Levi was fighting for people. Levi's choice to let Erwin rest was a distinctly humane one. It showed a deep consideration and care for an individual life. Within the grand and, often times, impersonal scope of the "greater good", one in which the ends justifying the means often takes precedent, and the connection with people as individuals can be lost, Levi showed that he cared as much about those individual lives as he did about the altruistic concept of saving mankind. He put Erwin's life on a level with all of humanity, essentially saying that every life is worth caring about, every life is worth honoring and protecting. That's not to say Levi screwed humanity by making the choice he did. I've talked about this a lot. Erwin was done. If you actually read the chapters carefully, and pay attention to what goes into Levi's decision, you'll see it was as much a result of him understanding that Erwin, once they discovered what was in Eren's basement, wasn't going to be the same leader he had been. He was already being crushed by guilt and self-loathing, and the only thing keeping it at bay was the anticipation, the dream, of discovering the truth of the world. Levi thinks about Kenny's words to him in that moment of decision, about how our dreams are the only thing that can keep us going, and he realizes that without his dream, Erwin will have nothing to keep him going. He'll succumb to his guilt and self-loathing, and probably go mad. He would no longer be an effective leader. People never talk about this when they talk about Levi's decision. They just want to say that Levi chose Erwin over humanity because it's "romantic". No, Levi didn't choose Erwin OVER humanity. He chose compassion over cruelty. He showed, through his choice, that it's as important to consider the individual lives of each soldier and each person in this fight as it is the greater whole. Levi cares about people, people, that make up the whole of humanity. But his decision was as much based in what was good for humanity as it was based in what was good for Erwin. He doesn't prioritize one over the other, he simply prioritizes them both. He decides they both matter equally. He even says, in chapter 136, that he chose Armin because he saw the same look in his eyes as "you guys", meaning his comrades before they'd become disillusioned with their fight. He knew Armin was the right choice because he still believed in what they were fighting for. Erwin didn't. They needed people who genuinely believed in the fight for humanity for it to still be a viable fight.

Anyway, I got off on a tangent there, lol, and when I said I wasn't going to talk about this anymore.

But yes, people should focus on other aspects of Levi's character. They're missing out on one of the best character's ever created when they don't, and instead obsess over him being in love with whoever, when he's not in love with anyone at all, lol.

[kaddyssammlung]

Spirituality in Sleep Token lyrics - Part 1

I see this topic mostly on their album "Take me Back To Eden" which is why I will focus on this album. And also, I feel like I need to say this again: this is my way of looking at this. Which means it's my personal experience with this topic. I never say that Vessel means any of this.

Chokehold

"When we were made It was no accident"

It was meant to be. There is something that give everything a direction or an impulse. A higher consciousness or however you want to call it. I used to have the problem of “modern day nihilism” = everything is meaningless, we’re all gonna die, why bother doing anything, I don’t believe in anything. But at the same time I had a strange feeling of not belonging on this planet or in other words of missing home and I had no idea what it was that I was missing. But no, it was no accident when I was made and I’m meant to be here but it took me years of suffering to see this through.

"A sacred guardian" I believe in guardian angels or in angels in general and in others beings, too.

"So you keep me sharp and test my worth in blood" Initiations are something quite common. You can see everything that happens in your life as an invitation to finally go beyond suffering. I feel like I keep being tested every now and then but it’s not that frequent anymore.

"Beneath the stormy seas Above the mountain peaks" As above so below as within so without. I guess he is hinting on the hermetic principles (if you want to know more then here is a link to a YouTube video). Everything that we see in our outside world is just a reflection of what’s going on inside of us.

"I've seen my days unfold Done the impossible I'd turn my walls to gold To bring you home again" Yes, Vessel. Me too. One example. I had a spontaneous remission of a condition that was going on with my tooth. It felt weird and good at the same time. As if something was stepping in and finally healing it for me after having struggled with it for almost a year. I do energy work with golden light so gold reminds me of that. Bringing you home here means bringing me home at least for me. For me home just means a higher frequency. I’m bringing “home” hear, so to speak. You probably don’t care how I do this so I won’t bother explaining.

"So show me that which I cannot see"

Reminds me simply of spiritual teachings. Their goal should be to remind of what you already know and what you already have inside of you. No one should try to convince you of something btw. If someone says that they are a guru and you should do as they say then…idk…I would run away from them. That’s not what this is about.

"Even if it hurts me Even if I can't sleep"

Just makes me think of all the BS that I can remember now that was done to me. It hurts but it wants to be seen and acknowledged. Oh, and though we act out of our holy duty to be constantly awake That’s why I’m here Vessel and what I’m doing. Constantly spiritually awake. It’s a process and no one can reverse it or stop it.

The Summoning

"The sky above, the Earth below" The hermetic principles again.

"Raise me up again Take me past the edge I want to see the other side" Some meditations really feel like that. Turning everything off. That stupid voice in your head that just narrates everything. Turning everything off and being able to see things for what they are and don’t have your brain judge everything, that means acting from a higher frequency. What you do is, you raise yourself up. When you have a spiritual teacher or a teacher that uses energy work they can help raise you up. They can give you a feeling of being held by a that higher consciousness and you can just relax into this. A good meditation….can’t describe this. And sometimes I do see strange things, have visions or I even had an experience where my hands started to glow.

"Nothing to say and nowhere to go" Just be and linger and observe. No thoughts, a deep connection with everything and feeling of wholeness. Words can’t express it sometimes. (I do “fall” hard though. I’m not able to hold these states for a long time but I have an idea of what’s possible)

Granite

"I was more than just a body in your passenger seat And you were more than just somebody I was destined to meet"

I still have not reached a state of where I can just see some things for what they are. I mean without the emotional charge. I still look at so much that happened in this life with anger. But that does not help. Of course it was all meant to be but….idk….at the moment I don’t really feel that. I see you go half-blind when you're looking at me I said this before. I have this connected to aura seeing for some reason. Some humans radiant something. I perceive them as almost see-through.

"But I am" The big “I am”. I want to write more about that. But not right now. It really is something big and yet it’s not much. Just “I am”. It deserves to be treated in an extra post.

Vore

"My life is torn, my bones, they bleed" I feel this. It had to be like that. Reaching rock-bottom and staying there for years. Torturing myself before I was able to let something new in. Or in other words I had reached a point where I was not afraid to change anymore and stop doing what I was doing. Addictions are exhausting but they whisper things into your ear and you believe that. They become a pattern, a habit and then they have you. And you can’t see past them anymore. "Will we remain stuck in the throat of gods?" It depends what you mean with gods. Since I just brought up addiction you can see that these were my gods. They kept my busy and I did everything to please them. Will the pain stop if we go deeper? Yes, it does. First it hurt even more because I started to realize more and more what I had been running away from. All that unresolved trauma. But I got better in being able to let go of that and I’m still learning. "Go deep" in a spiritual sense means to go deeper into the present moment. To not listen to what your brain is saying but to just become still. When you don’t think about your problems then they are gone. Right?! Not quite but something changes. The heaviness that surrounds them stops. "I want to go where nobody else will ever go" You can send your ethereal body to other places. But that’s where it starts to get a bit complicated here because I don’t want to explain all that. "We step into my suffering" Reminds me of the latest energy work course that I did because it’s what we did in that course. Fully step into the suffering that came from shame.

Maybe you think that when you face your suffering or you shine a light on it then becomes more or stronger. But that's not true. In my experience it is hard to face at first but then it becomes more light.

[corporatefallout]

My ideas so far on who the managers are in the AU!! (Notes left on some btw)

[OUTDATED]

Prester Virgil

Long time Minutemen soldier. Paranoid, aggressive, self centered, and stubborn. He's generally both a helpful hand and also terrifying at times.

Brian

An Institute scientist in the Robotics division. Egotistical and heavily book smart which has him acting on statistical means than emotional. But not street smart in the slightest. One step into the wasteland and he's probably dead in a week.

Misty Monsoon

A loner that lives on the island of Far Harbor. Besides the wild life, Mary is her only friend around here. Since most had either died or succumbed to the fog. She's somewhat in hiding too...

Mary Anna

Exploring the island, Mary studies the biology that was made from the environment and radiation. With the help of Misty as well. She's not one to head into violence and would rather act more emotionally or thoughtfully.

Cosmo Kuiper

One of the dangerous gangs and richest you never want to mess with. Having people running for their lives or for their caps. Most of their money comes from Chem sales, mercenary assistance, and of course... loans.

Holly Graylle

A knight of the Brotherhood of Steel! (Cause she's a...) Stationed in the Capital Wasteland. Within the groups sent out for missions, she is the one to be leading and directing. No one is doing anything without her word and say.

Chip Revvington and Spruce Campbell

(I'm having troubles with them, slightly. Help)

A duo mercenary team who works on their own terms. If the caps pay well and if they're up to the task, they'll do it. Morality ranges really, since sometimes old habits die hard. Close as brothers and will defend each other.

Tawney C. Esta

(Saw the perk "Sandman" and got the idea...)

The sandman of the wasteland. Assassinations in the night and it's only done if the money is right. The kills done aren't aligned by good or bad only, it's just business. Asleep in the day and awake in the night.

Belle Dama

(I'll be honest, the term "long distance relationships" got me thinking sniper rifles and she is a phone... so-)

A professional in the Regulators! Working by the uses of a trusty sniper rifle. Despite how... uhhh, dangerous she may sound, she's quite the opposite. Looking after the younger ones and caring towards others. Staying firm on her morals of course.

Benjamin Biggs

A medic in the wasteland and looking for hire. Certainly good at his work and well experienced than most doctors you'll meet out here! Although he enjoys the latest talk going around when stopping in town of course.

Buck Ruffler

The luckiest gambler you'll meet and has probably been kicked out of a lot of casinos by now. He's lucky to be alive. Honestly. Also high on jet-

Graham Ness Payser

The hotshot of the Strip in New Vegas! Bragging, unbearable, and his own number one fan. Picking up quite the fame and yearns for more excitement in his life. His aim is bad but he's a fast shooter!

Flint Bonpyre

A nervous explosives and incinerary expert who is also not afraid talk his mind. (Sometimes.)

Dave Brubot

The star of the stage! Able to charm his way into your heart. With his charisma, he could easily make his way anywhere and have the ability to persuade. (I'm kinda having trouble with him, help)

Cathal

Okay I'll be honest, 100% inspired by the pictures of people's game having him show up everywhere. That's him now. No matter which bar or place you stop at, Cathal is there and knows what you did. No matter what. Like the Gman except not interfering with events. Just a joke character.

And that's it!! They will be edited and changed in the future, of course. So nothing here is permanent! Some characters I'm having trouble regarding what I want for them or on who/what they are. I accept ideas regarding them, yes yes.

Also- some of them definitely won't fw each other at all. On the lines if faction, beliefs, and morality. Or pre-established beef, lol.

[boundlss]

currently failing to write, so I am going to trick other people into writing instead. Do you have any cool bits of muse lore and/or headcanons that you've always wanted to mention in a plot but just never had an opportunity?

hahaha it took me a few days to get to this because i've been off doing things that AREN'T tumblr rp related, but i'm here now and happy to answer this question (thank you, by the way, i really appreciate you taking the time to send it presumably knowing how much i LOOOVE talking about my muses).

when it comes to this particular blog the natural answer is "um, yes, i don't ever REALLY get the chance to talk about 99 percent of my muses" but that has the potential to be both a very short and very LONG answer so i'll probably just leave you with some stuff for muses that are my personal favorites.

to start off with this is about shiroe log horizon; i don't really know how cool i would call this lore but one of the things i am OBSESSED with about him that i don't always get to discuss is his pre-show activity related to elder tale. he's a dedicated forum user who i hc as having moderated or run the popular discussion sites---in a way not too dissimilar to rev when it comes to baccano!---and who put a lot of his time into dissecting the best and most efficient ways to level in the game, beat raids, etc... it's pretty lame all things considered when it comes to "things about shiroe log horizon" but i've always LOVED the detail that was put into him being a superfan of the game and how that didn't JUST reflect in his activities within the game! i love that he has a sort of canonical "fandom notoriety" because of not only his past involvement with a notorious party but also his own individual out-of-game actions relating to it!

onto another muse; one thing i don't get to discuss with kaito a lot is my actual "mainverse" for him. on my list i have him versed in project sekai for sorting convenience (and for that matter the same is true with longya) but i've actually designed a pretty complex mainverse for him where he's a technological creature created from the thoughts and feelings that listen to the music he's featured in and the songs themselves. because the sense of identity of a vocaloid is pretty nebulous, he was never really much of a consistent being at all, but having gained recent trends in his characterization he's started to take on an actual life and have a real desire to experience existence outside of technology and hologram performances. this verse originated from miku, when i wrote her, but now kaito is in his own unique situation with it and i don't get to use it very often. i think it has a lot of potential in both the wholesome and horror directions.

and fiiiiiinally, i have one of my ocs to talk about, number 44! there are a lot of interesting things i could say about him as he relates to twain over on antisatiric but i don't often get the chance to discuss him from a non twain-centric perspective. i think the thing about him i like the most is that he is both an eternal presence and also the longest in a very long line, and while he has access to and can draw stories from the multiverse, his presence is inherently connected to the "main universe" i have set twain's story in due to twain's universe being a hub of stories where every piece of fiction is real in another world. before he was the archivist, there was a different world considered the "hub world" which had to die in order for the previous archivist to die and 44 to take over the position---so the "hub world" only becomes the hub world BECAUSE the eternal archivist is tied to it. if 44 and the current hub world die, twain will take his place as 45 and a new nascent universe will be created as the new hub world. his lore can get a little complex sometimes.

well anyway, thank you a lot for the ask. i really do like talking like this and it's good to put SOMETHING out on the blog even if that something isn't a reply. ur a real one sawagi :D.

unprompted. / always accepting.

[trashbinbackyard]

even numbers for lucien and hibiscus

dos rogues

What's something about your OC that people wouldn't expect just from looking at them?

Like he’s genuinely trying to be a good person. He puts on a facade because that’s what he’s used to, and how he got around in his previous life, and it still has its perks. He can’t trust everyone, and he reflects that energy with his own demeanor. Still, he’s doing a good thing, being Deanoh’s chosen, helping keeping forbidden magics under check, even if no one knows

How passionate they are. There is hurt that runs deep within, maybe being annoying is a shield, maybe to distract, sticking it to the family by being everything they weren’t raised to be. But under that layer there is a person who really cares for the people around them, be it a small sleepy mining village, a scared boy who grew up in a cellar, an honest farmer, a sorcerer who can’t really get a hold of their magic

When scared, does your OC fight, flee, freeze or fawn?

His reaction used to be a coinflip of fight or flee, before he was immortal he had to do the math 0.04 seconds and think if he can fight himself out of whatever situation, but fleeing is the smart option sometimes. Nowadays he doesn’t really get into situations he needs to flee from, it’s always he just doesn’t go there or he is there the fight

Fight first, think second, flee if necessary

How easily could your OC be convinced to do something that goes against their moral compass?

It used to be as easy as tossing a hefty amount of coin for him. But now he’s no longer bound by sheer greed, so his morality is much more stable. He also no longer takes orders from anyone but the big guy, so people pleasing is out the window too.

They’re willing to do the wrong thing for the right reason. Like if you can convince them doing something will actually be good, they could do it. 

Would your OC ostensibly be able to get away with murder?

Would be, has been

They could if they put in the effort, though most people they’ve killed… someone probably knows they were behind it

What's an AU that would be interesting to explore with your OC?

Is it an au if it’s the fifth world after four apocalypses… It’s like dishonored meets bloodborne and Lucien’s flesh is torn and filled with flames insead (the other immortals gets eldritch horror forms too)

I’m pretty set on having Hibiscus in the setting they’re already in

Is your OC self-destructive? In what ways?

Through decades of practice he’s gained an uncanny knack for self-preservation.  

Somewhat self-destructive. They’re always trying things hands on, making friends in low places, hanging out with the wrong crowds, pissing people off, just general act first think later behavior

How does your OC want to be seen by other characters?

He likes to keep his cards hidden, where his loyalties lie, what he is capable of. He puts on a charming persona to talk his way in and out of everything with a hint of being jovial. 

They want everyone to know as little as possible, they’re straight to the point, distract them with tall tales or by jumping straight into action. They also want to be the guy who shows up and people are like “wow they’re here, they’ll handle it!”. Reliable and capable

What is your OC's pain tolerance like?

It’s not like you get used to pain, but knowing you can’t die makes it slightly more bearable

Goes from “i can do this all day” to “aaauuuuu, hellwp :(“ in a matter of minutes. Generally good with handling pain but knows where their limit is

Is your OC more cold and detached or up close and personal?

He’s VERY detached, Deanoh for the longest time was his only constant, everything around him changed, people he had bonds with died, he had to travel all over the continent, couldn’t speak to anyone about his condition. 

Kinda both? Like when dealing with strangers they’re like “eh yeah whatever”, but with people they know.. If they're on their faces 24/7, won't leave them alone, you will have their company like it or not. 

Does your OC have a tendency to get jealous? If so, how does this manifest?

Not really, partly because he’s so detached from everyone, partly because he's confident and content with himself. Though if someone was to take Viessa for a twirl there would be a spark of jealousy not gonna lie, but it wouldn’t get out of hand, and he’d tease Viessa later about it.

There is a chance but I wouldn’t say tendency. They’d get a little possessive over Pestle, and also ask him with sad soppy puppy eyes if he loves them

What character alignment would you consider your OC to be?

Lucien used to be neutral evil, now he falls somewhere between chaotic neutral/chaotic good. Rules are for losers (except those that Deanoh puts on him) and generally his moral compass aligns with the greater good nowadays

They were neutral evil at first too bc i thought it was cool but now they’re chaotic neutral more like, they have their morals, but they’re bit of a mystery

What is an alternative life path your OC might have gone down? How different would their life be if they'd made those decisions?

He could’ve just died and stayed dead back in the revolutionary war. He would’ve died and been a footnote in the history books. 

They could’ve stayed with their family, be miserable but rich, studied with academic prowess and the talk of the high society. A Nightmare right.

[swingbakuraryou]

(If your memes don't expire, saw these and was curious)

Rhino: Is your muse wanted for something? What item do they value most? What is the bounty on your muse's head? (If they have one.)

Hornet: How patient is your muse? Are they easily perturbed? What sets them off the easiest?

Antler: Does your muse hunt? What do they hunt if they do? How often do they go hunting? Are they for or against it? Where do they go hunting?

I'm also kinda curious if he hunts for meat, sport, pelts, money, tradition, etc - IF he hunts. Kinda surprised that wasn't on there.

RHINO

"You're only wanted if they're confident that you've committed a crime. The Chief sure ain't helping me, and I sure ain't helping him. After all these years, he's made it clear that he doesn't know how to do his job well. But there's a little promise for him, the second he starts doing his job, I'll give him a little treat. But he won't get the whole prize until he's done. Compared to the other heads in town, I'm worthless, but to him it'll feel like winning the grand prize at the races." HORNET Showgirl: Ryou? He's as patient as a saint! He'll wait for days even months for the right moment! I think for one run he waited almost 4 months before grabbing the goods, and it was so worth it! All of us girls were so thrilled when he brought us those silks! Also! Also! He's always sticking up for us! He's always trying to be a gent even with the worst customers. Band member: I don't know if its patience or silently fuming. All I can say is stay the hell away from him when he has a hammer or a knife in his hand. Aka if he's making props on one side of the stage, you're working on the other side. He won't flip on ya, but its the energy that radiates off of him. Server: Swing's our cute little song bird, but his patience or more so tolerance, is poison. That smile might as well be a bite that slowly burns through your veins and by the time you start feeling it, you're already a dead man walking.

Jake the barman: That pisser has the worst temper in the whole god damn facility! Just a few months ago he trashed the entirety of the props store room! What set him off? Who the fuck knows. And if the wrong person so much walks through that door, forget the show and the music, the whole restaurant will turn into a battle ground. It only take one special person to mess with one of our staff and the idiot goes from lazy ass lap cat, to a spitting viper. And to answer your question, his old man sets him off the fastest. That man ain't allowed within 4 blocks of his place. He'll even letters from him is enough to send Swing into a mood that makes him look like he's ready to burn the entirety of downtown to the ground. He also doesn't fucking sleep, and he doesn't, he's worse.

ANTLER

"You wanna come, darlin'? We can go fishin'. I like trapping small game too. Mostly squirrels, rabbits, stoats, groundhogs, a few birds. What do I use them for? Meat's pretty good. Sometimes the fur and feathers can get a good price. The bones make good projects. Antlers are nice too, especially right after they fall off. Why? Getting out in the forest feels nice. Ain't no one around to yell at you or frame you, the only thing you're fighting is against nature and the animals around you. If I die out here....It's probably because of my own damn fault and I'm at peace with that possibility."

[janzoo]

While Drakyr is my one true WoL, I’ve made two alts along the way. They were mostly made on a whim/for the memes, but I recently put a little effort into them and thought I’d show ‘em off. I don’t know what I’m going to do with them - if nothing else, I’ll probably say they’re some of Drakyr’s adventurer buddies. :)

Info under the cut! Spoiler warning, and a mild NSFW warning for talk of sexuality/sexual activity.

The first is Z’racha Nuhn, Miqo’te Pugilist. I made him for the sole joke of “you know this man Fucks upon introduction.” Because he’s a nuhn. His name is supposed to sound a bit like sriracha because he’s spicy, har har har. Also I just like the letter “Z”.

About Z’racha:

He’s a “bread cat”. His favourite food is soft baked pretzels.

He hates bugs. A bad flea epidemic hit his tribe when he was a child and it was a bad time all around. I suppose it’s a phobia, but between fight-vs-flight, it triggers his fight reaction every time. All bugs that he notices must die immediately.

Relating to the above, he’s meticulous about hygiene and cleanliness. Especially in regards to hair/body hair.

He’s a great lay. Though primarily interested in women, he indulges in sleeping with people of other genders here and there. Mostly if they approach him first.

Sometime in ARR, Z’racha and Thancred found themselves pursuing the same woman. Instead of getting competitive or hostile about it, they threesome’d her instead. (Don’t worry, he uses protection - being a “breeding male” stays within his tribe.)

I don’t have a love interest in mind for him at the moment.

Z’racha likes to do as much as he can with his own body, hence being a melee fighter.

Relating to the above, he has a great appreciation for crafting, especially goldsmithing and maybe also alchemy. (I don’t plan to level crafting for him so we’ll just pretend.)

I wanted to make him a little older and have a couple of children, since he is a nuhn. I have no idea how many - besides no more than three - or their ages. *shrugs* Regardless of actual children, he’s a good father with strong paternal instincts. If present during the moment when Fourchenault disowns the twins, he would likely try to attack Fourchenault - and afterwards, try to adopt the twins. Full on “Look at me - I am your father now. Your names are now Z’Alisaie and Z’Alphinaud. Call me pa. I love you.”

He’s not very forgiving of Zenos. As far as he’s concerned, Zenos is threatening the place that his loved ones call home, and he doesn’t care about the reason. Were he to find out the truth about Zenos’s childhood that put him on that path, he’d be more understanding, but no more forgiving. And also furious at Varis for being such a shit father.

Bonus because I think we can all appreciate his bright green body hair lmao

And next is Rawberry Rawry, Lalafell Lancer. There was a post going around about making a wee Lalafell solely to have them run around in the tonberry costume. I did just that, but also came to like her and think she’s adorable and pretty. The character creator gave me this cute berry pink and cream hair and I just had to roll with it. She is the shortest possible height for a Dunefolk Lala.

About Rawberry:

She’s got a quick, fuming temper, and is a “hit things that bother you” type. A couple of times she’s thwacked someone across the knees with her spear, or poked them if especially mad. She’s earned the nickname “Knee-Notcher” among some as a result. (No major injuries have occurred, just lots of rapid attempts at dodging and “oh shite!” exclamations to go with them.)

Relating to the above, when not angry, she’s rather upbeat and sweet.

She’s primarily attracted to other Lalafells, though some non-Lala people might have a chance if they’re not too tall. She’s not into major height differences. There’s no solid love interest in mind for her at the moment. (I keep thinking of Tataru or Thancred potentially having a shot, though I’m not sure why for the latter yet lol)

Rawberry isn’t into crafting/gathering and generally lacks such skills, though she appreciates those with a knack for it.

She’s a very simple person. She likes being a warrior/adventurer, so that’s what she’ll be.

She prefers open or minimal clothes for better mobility. If that bothers someone else, that’s their problem.

She loves when people underestimate her because she’s a Lalafell, because then she gets to kick their ass extra hard to prove them wrong.

And that sums up what I have for them for now. Drakyr has other friends now!