#(would not be happening with top retainer which is broken)

[gender-snatched]

living is like. you like this thing? its bad for you xoxo

[saphir93]

Adam x Lute “I can’t lose you again”

Chapter two – “I can’t lose you again”

SAINT AUGUSTINE: "Death is nothing..."

Death is nothing. I just switched to the other side: it's like I was hiding in the next room. I'm still me, and you're still you. What we were before for each other we still are. Call me by the name you have always given me, which is familiar to you; speak to me in the same affectionate way you have always used. Don't change your tone of voice, don't look solemn or sad. Continue to laugh at what made us laugh, at those little things that we liked so much when we were together. Pray, smile, think of me! May my name always be the same familiar word as before: pronounce it without the slightest trace of shadow or sadness. Our life retains all the meaning it has always had: it is the same as before, there is a continuity that cannot be broken. Why should I be out of your thoughts and mind, just because I'm out of your sight? I'm not far, I'm on the other side, just around the corner. Reassure yourself, everything is fine. You will find my heart again, you will find its purified tenderness. Dry your tears and don't cry, if you love me: your smile is my peace.

Since Adam returned as fallen in hell, he had always spent his time meditating on his condition as he had to learn to survive and accept those he had always considered only sinners and scum. He didn't know where to go except to the bizarre hotel of that damned whore, the offspring of the one who had ruined the heavenly plans in Eden twice, even if Lucifer kept repeating to him "I didn't ruin you Adam, you know the truth.".

So having taken away everything he had received from the beginning would have been right? In fact, when he was curled up in bed alone he  think only about Lute. So why did he still have to be angry about two bitches that he had never chosen of his own free will? Two women he never love. What would they say in heaven now? How would Lute react? She didn't know anything and who knows how she was. Adam also thought about his ruined appearance, his perfect skin with a bright and tanned color was now paler and greyish, his pointed ears, his sharp black nails and those disturbing eyes with dark sclera, but the worst were those fucking horns on his head in the middle of his hair and god knows how much he wanted to break them away, he wanted them to disappear forever. The clothes were darker, black and red, with signs of inverted crosses and flames drawn like his guitar and then also the teeth, the teeth had two pairs of sharp fangs like a fucking vampire or predator (Snake or feline). And his wings, his wonderful gold and white feathered wings were now all black like those of the fallen angels.

Adam however no longer cared what happened to him, he had swallowed so much shit in that time in hell and put himself in that state that he had ignored any advice as to when the exorcists would return. He remembered that Lute was in charge now. He passed uncovered everywhere in the city while chaos reigned. Adam knew how to deal with his adversaries, he knew them well, he himself had been like them. He had nothing left to lose now, he just wanted to see Lute again even if it would cost him his life. Adam was soon targeted but still fared well in combat. He saw her looking at him in difficulty while he was in flight, she had stopped for a moment. “Lute!” he called. Lute swooped toward him as bloody carnage raged all around her. In a short time she was immediately on top of him, Adam instinctively tried to cover himself in fear “Lute! Wait, stop!” he shouted “It's me! I'm Adam.” In fact, Lute held him tightly in a hug. "Adam." she said, “When I saw you… I… I knew it was you. Those wings, those eyes, that face, clothes, that guitar and then your voice.”. She took off his mask. “Adam, no fallen appearance can hide you from me. You shouted my name, I thought I had lost you forever that time." Adam held her tighter “I waited for you. I missed you, you bitch.” but then more than one exorcists comes forward “Sinners must be eliminated!” Lute “No! You mustn't touch this one. It's an order. I will take care of it." but they shouted “No sinner has the right to remain alive. Everyone must be punished.” they drew spears and swords, but Lute covered Adam by shielding him and standing before him. “No! Don't touch this one.”.

"Betrayal!" some of the exterminators shouted, but as they rushed to strike Adam, Lute cut them off one by one with his sword. There was blood splashing everywhere, arms and heads severed. Lute looked at the others with unprecedented ferocity "Do any of you intend to disobey my orders again?" she saw them stop with dazed and annoyed looks and then fly away through the portal. Adam was shocked and his clothes like Lute's were dirty everywhere with gold blood stains. Lute returned to him all agitated. "Adam? Are you OK?" Adam “Fuck, you really made a big mess dangerous tits. I'm fine...let's say.” and pulled at his dark yellow-stained robe. Lute had tears in his eyes, tears began to roll down his face. Adam smiled looking at her intently “Now you're here.” Lute “They wanted to kill you. Adam…I can't lose you again. I cannot." Adam wanted to say something but Lute pulled him towards him and kissed him intensely.

It was quite long and intense, nothing like what he had had with his previous wives, very poor and not very intense kisses. With Lute the synchronization and intensity were perfect, when they both began to dig deeper with their tongues and only Lute understood his desire to be so intense. When they broke away, Adam was breathing heavily just like Lute was sweating and his heart was beating fast. That time he returned to the hotel taking Lute with him to her room and spending a moment of intense passion having sex. Adam make love with her, it was so sweet, he enjoyed the sex so much as he had never done before with his two wives. When both were collapsed they lovely hugged each other. She held Adam more intensely, Adam felt so good, he felt protected and loved finally. “It's not fair Lute. I always want to be so happy, always and only with you. All I ask. You're so important to me, so dear, shit, I always want to be with you. I…I love you.” Lute “We will find a solution, I promise. I love you too Adam."

The start of a fan serie I'm working on, this is the part two post first officialy season, sinner Adam arc concept. Can find the first part in this link HERE

[kendrene]

It’s not the first time Alicent gets in trouble because of Rhaenyra. Won't be the last either. It’s a first, however, that she disobeys a direct command from her father without the Princess instigating at her side. 

It’s very much on brand for Rhaenyra to get herself into all sorts of trouble, and quite concerning when she doesn’t. Nine years old Rhaenyra had tried her hand at arson. Topped that the following season by breaking and entering into her father’s private study. For the span of one short, hideous summer, just before turning two and ten, she self-elected court thief — a career choice that Alicent recalls with fondness and dread mixing in her gut. 

It starts small, always. The fire that nearly burned the stables to a crisp was kindled by a child’s innate curiosity and a piece of broken glass. The impromptu lockpicking had been the end result of a foolish, stupid dare. With the stealing — which Rhaenyra still insists is the simple innocent transference of any given object from the environment to her pockets —  it happened the same way. Bits and bobs nobody would miss, the Septa's prayer book, once the Maester’s favorite quill. In her defense, everything eventually reappeared, if not where the owners had last left it. Rhaenyra has never been the best at strategy however, and so she's often caught red-handed — and Alicent with her. She's resigned herself to it, thinking it part of her role as favored companion. 

Punishment is the payment for the reward of sharing in the spotlight of her betters.

Except the former is not doled out as equally as she lets her friend believe. She's sure not a hand, not the tip of a finger were ever laid on Rhaenyra.

Alicent has tried to hate her for it, coming close whenever the sting of the cured leather on the skin of her buttocks and thighs is so fresh as to make it impossible to sit. Ultimately, she can't. 

She recognizes these antics for what they really are. A cry for some attention, the blundering attempt to be seen as something other than a furthering of the Targaryen line.

But now Rhaenyra's mother is dead and burnt, and her younger brother is buried, and in the eyes of the realm she's the Heir, a would-be Queen, a fertile womb, a liability.

The time for pranks is over.

Outside the Hand's quarters, the castle is a kicked anthill, is buzzing with alarm. Targaryen soldiers in red and black patrol all hallways in small groups, and larger parties — sometimes directed by an officer, sometimes by a member of the Kingsguard — search through nook and cranny, barge into every single room. Alicent risks discovery twice. Almost comes face to face with her father in the gardens, and it is only by virtue of the quick thinking on her part that she avoids the humiliation of being apprehended. 

She has to wait for them to leave, crouched behind a rounded bit of shrubbery for minutes.  The search party is so close to her on the other side of the prickly foliage that she could reach out and touch the nearest man if she chose to, so close that she can hear them shift in place and stomp their boots to ward off the briskness of the air.

It’s an eternity. A lifetime. Cramps bite at her right thigh and she brings her center of gravity forward. Winces when her sleeve gets snagged on the greenery and several twigs snap. Fortunately, the pop-crackle is lost in the arrival of another group of soldiers.

"She's not in the Godswood, m'Lord." One of them says, and her father swears loudly. These are his retainers, the sigil of House Hightower displayed proudly on their chests. "We could comb through the gardens again," Alicent clamps a hand over her mouth and wills herself not to breathe. "But it's probably no use."

Her father shakes his head. She can't quite see his face from where she's hiding; only a subtle, angry twitch of muscle in his jaw. 

"The King is right. She must have sneaked off to the city. Still, it was worth a try." The sigh he lets out is more of a low rumble, and he seems on the verge of adding something else, something that Alicent can guess — somehow — is far from complimentary. Then, he reconsiders. "Come. I want to bring the Princess back before nightfall."

They walk off, gravel crunching underfoot, armor jingling softly. Alicent doesn’t pay them any mind. The world is hushed beneath the rush of blood in her ears, drowned in the frantic staccato of her heart. It’s not fear that has her pressing a hand to her chest, that has her throat constricting until she’s forced to fight for air — it’s rage.

It’s not that she hasn’t been angry before. She’s been mad at Rhaenyra for her obliviousness, because she fails to see that what sets her above the rest of them won’t shield those close to her from consequences. She’s been so mad at her mother who has left her behind, in a world where love is scarce and comes at a steep price. She’s been angry with her father most of all, for having forgotten her, lost as he is in the sea of his own grieving.

But she’s been taught from a young age that she’s to swallow it all down. That she’s to sit pretty and still and quiet, and let those that know what’s best for her do all the talking. 

Princess, her father had called Rhaenyra, and the omission of her rightful title has Alicent’s head swimming with an unpleasantness of thoughts. He’s always been so careful about what is right and proper, especially in public, and that he’s stopped being careful now — she stands, and vows to find Rhaenyra before anyone else does.

[kelcolrite]

Got a few things I gotta take care of when Payback begins so I'll be starting the PPV a little bit late tonight.

Therefore

EARLY PREDICTION TIME!!!

SHINSUKE NAKAMURE VS SETH ROLLINS

I hate that Seth is gonna retain but what are you gonna do? I don't see him losing the title to anyone quite yet, mostly because he hasn't been able to maintain a story with anyone yet.

My biggest hope is that SHINSUKE absolutely destroys his back and they have to call a DQ or something. Not likely but a guy can dream.

WINNER - SETH ROLLINS

RHEA RIPLEY VS RAQUEL RODRIGUEZ

Unless some absolute tomfuckery happens I don't see Rhea losing. This is a good rivalry for her honestly, not many people can keep up with a powerhouse like her. Expecting a good ol slobber knocker between these girls.

WINNER - RHEA RIPLEY

TRISH STRATUS VS BECKY LYNCH

The steel cage match Becky and all of us have been waiting for since sometime last year. I hope this is as delightfully brutal as the last match with Zoey was. I hope that Lynch pins or makes her tap clean in the ring. I hope we can finally put a pin to this rivalry so Becky can move on in her career and stop wasting her time on a cheap, gotcha rivalry.

WINNER - BECKY LYNCH

REY MYSTERIO VS AUSTIN THEORY

I'm a little back and forth on this one but I think Theory is gonna pull out the win. Probably some with some dirty heel shit involving his new alliance with Waller. Still interested in what those two obnoxious jerks can do together even though I'm not a fan of either.

Best case scenario out of Theory winning is giving Santos Escobar the chance to actually step upand be a leader. Guy deserves it. Seriously.

WINNER - AUSTIN THEORY

THE MIZ VS LA KNIGHT

I'm honestly really excited for this match. It's been awhile since the WWE has built up a really good grudge match without any titles on the line. Just pride and ego. That's good ol wrestling storytelling.

If LA wins the Miz is gonna throw an absolute tantrum and that could help carry the rivalry on to new heights, which I'd like to see. It's been entertaining so far but let's get these guys in the ring to see how well the chemistry is before we keep it going.

WINNER - LA KNIGHT

KO & SAMI VS JUDGMENT DAY

This is another one of those matches that I'm swinging back and forth on. If Zowens wins it adds more illegitimacy to Judgement Day-who's already becoming the bad kind of dysfunctional family with the Dad Finn and Dad Damian fighting in front of poor Dominick, who's already from ONE broken home. And on top of that, KO just looks tired of this shit. Let him go back to singles. Or retire if he wants. Damn.

So I hope Judgement Day wins, but I don't have high hopes because I know WWE and they're not gonna stop milking their cash cow while merch is flying off the shelves.

That being said, JD losing could be the push Priest needs to take that title from Seth finally and that would make my first pick feel a lot more justified.

Like I said, a guy can dream.

[theomnicode]

Aight, time to prove some God theory of mine.

Knowledge of the flow of all energy and behaviour of all the forces in the universe. Basically, every force that exists in OPM?

God knows this force and this energy. Because Cosmic Garou got this impartation of power from God.

ESP? Done. Fighting spirit? Yes. Resurrection? It's there. Cosmic powers? You're goddamn right. Time travel? Naturally.

Divine power and Saitama's power of origin? Duh, that's what it gave Garou. The power of cognition, the psyche, is strong in OPM God.

If the narration says all forces and all energies, it hardly just means "cosmic forces" like time, space, causality, black holes, star power or fission reaction. Why would it? It means literally everything that has been shown in OPM universe.

Horizons of power, meaning:

The Mind, the Body and the Soul. This is divine power in it's fullest form. That is my current hypothesis.

(Bottom is mind, middle is body and top is soul)

The mind consists of powers such as ESP and cognition. Big Brain power. The body consists of monsterization, emotions, drive and instincts, life and such bodily powers. Whether monsterization is separate from bodily powers? Who knows. Once the person has broken both of these limits of the mind and body and attained rebirth, they can obtain soul powers, cosmic powers. Inner universe.

Breaking the limit is basically breaking the limits of mortality.

--

All this already makes OPM God pretty damn fearsome opponent. But what about the cosmic powers, the inner universe and all this specifically make it soul power? Even if we don't delve into references and buddhist cosmology?

Because we've also been shown spiritualism in the series before, in phoenixman vs CE, where Phoenixman not only mentally connects and drags CE to a spiritual plane, but also resurrects dead people into zombies and casually resurrected two guys that Flashy killed. Who retained their personalities and their memories.

Their core beings were essentally dragged back from beyond the veil. Most likely because they did not yet have a chance to pass on to eternity from the Sanzu river, a place Zombieman saw when he died. Purgatory basically where the souls await their judgement. Unlike the mindless zombies phoenixman resurrected which had already died long ago and their souls had passed on, impossible to be revived.

Spiritualism is part of the universal powers, therefore it is also something OPM God has, as per narrative.

It is all even more clear when Garou, who has divine power, same as Saitama, comes back as a spirit to say goodbye to Tareo and that Saitama's physical body corrected the paradox that there could not exist two physical copies of Saitama in the same timeline.

Souls can apparently interact though and thats why the consciousness has no memory of this kind of interaction even happening. Available consciousness, the psyche, is different from the soul of the person. Soul exists far deeper than what the conscious mind is aware of and why spirits require an alternate state of consciousness to be seen.

OPM God would also have this kind of spiritual power and Saitama as well, if he ever taps into it consciously.

So, what is the common denominator between Garou's spiritual form and OPM God then?

They've both left their physical bodies behind.

Ergo, what it means...

He is already dead. He is a spirit.

That is why he calls himself "God."

How do you kill something that has no life?

Good fucking question mate.

The moon and his physical body is merely just a prison, if it's even bound to it anymore.

It's physical body may be the only way to actually bind it to space, time and causality. Otherwise it would have free reign. What a scary thought.

--

Now, a theory...

Deep inside the Earth, the abyss, there is something that Blast and Co want to keep sealed away.

Then Saitama and buddies went and interacted with God's cubes that opened a rift in the fabric of space. But what they also did was subtly, give it divine power and break through the fabric of space that it was sealed behind. Light in the darkness.

I doubt anybody knows about what actually happened here, but I have no doubts that this spirit is already wreacking havoc on the mortal world of OPM, because it got more powerful. That or Blast and Co have their hands full trying to contain it still. But I don't think even Blast and buddies know about the full extent of it's spiritual powers.

(Disaster level: God meta here)

[a-lbeit]

2022: a year in review

i never ended up writing one of these for 2021, so maybe i’ll throw some stuff from there in here, too

a brief summary of 2021--benny, soaring highs and a rock-bottom low, exercise, school, getting reacquainted with the working world and working more than ever before, trying to become more attuned to adulthood, reuniting with old friends, car ownership, and uncertainty

alright, now onto 2022. i would like to write more about 2021, and i wish i had done so earlier like i should have, but, as we all know, life just strikes you sometimes. those memories and experiences, or at least the essences of them, will be there for me to reminisce on and reference. 

rang in the new year at benny’s house, drunk with coworkers and benny’s friends. it was messy, but hey, a new year’s kiss is always something to smile about when you look back on it. 

got boosted

had a visit from my parents. the first time i’d seen them in over 2 years--since i had broken my ankle and gone back to charleston for a few weeks. it was such a perfect week, one that i will forever cherish. they took the train out here, across the country like they’d talked about doing for so long. we went to riverside, to the house my father spent several childhood years in. he hadn’t seen it since then, i don’t think. we went up mt. rubidoux, something he’d always wanted to do. i took them to disneyland, of course, with benny, who they also finally had a chance to meet. we rode the holiday version of it’s a small world, which so fortuitously had a longer stint at the resort than usual because it had opened late because of a flooded mechanics room or something. took them to the top of the world and to urth caffe and the huntington library. i cried when they left. 

had to get tested weekly for covid at work for a while; it was kind of fun to get bumped to take it on the clock. things were looking kinda bad again with covid for a while there, and i got slightly worried that the park would close again. 

had a visit from lauren and david. we all stayed in an airbnb together and i showed them around socal. we went to san diego, disney (of course), la, huntington gardens. benny’s and my first anniversary happened somewhere in there. it was sunny and beautiful and lauren got a tattoo :)

stayed at a cabin in wrightwood for valentine’s day with benny. it was relaxing, sexy, and we even got just enough snow for it to be romantic but not a burden. we played pool, cooked, walked, and shopped around with little to no worries for a few days. on the way back, we went to the mcdonald’s museum in san bernardino.

went to the parks with friends. it’s nice to be able to do that stuff again--sometimes i think about how “normal” our lives have become again in the wake of covid and i realize i forget how easily things can change in our puny little lives

went to a wedding expo with mindy. i enjoyed it, but i think more and more about how i don’t want a wedding celebration. 

disney had a little cast member event for the (then) upcoming toontown renovation before it closed for the next year. it was cute to be a part of that. 

gas prices went up, up, up, and we all felt it

had a little date night with benny at this really cool bar in huntington. i wish we had time (read: i wish i put in more effort to have more time and energy) to do more of that

received melissa and glenn’s wedding announcement. i was nervous to be her maid of honor but so excited

saw so many snails

did our little semiannual vegas trip. it’s always nice to hang with benny’s best friend and see the hoover dam and just have fun. we played twilight zone mini golf, went to a cirque show (thanks to miguel’s roommate), got dutch bros, swam in lake mead. the whole bit. benny and i even got matching temporary tats. 

made the difficult decision to remove my eyebrow piercing. it had migrated a lot and my management team had said a couple things to my leads about the prominence of the plastic retainer. maybe some day i’ll pierce it again. i miss it sometimes, but i knew it was time. it didn’t look good anymore after constantly having to switch out the jewelry. 

had a roommate reunion at disney with rozi, taleeah, and daisy. it was nice. i miss living with them. 

parallel parked my heart out. i can fit almost anywhere. 

helped john krasinski and emily blunt at autopia :)

went to the parks with mindy for her birthday. i’m so grateful to have her in my life, to have someone so different yet similar to me. 

appreciated and loved fred more and more. he deserves the blue nametag more than anyone. 

went to a couple disney cast member softball games. it’s fun to watch your coworkers play.

somewhere in between all this, i interviewed (for the second time) to become a trainer at autopia, and my manager told me yes--i was very wary and jaded when he told me, since he told me no last time without having that clear of a reason. but he congratulated me and i was grateful that he saw potential in me.

had a cute 4am shift. we had to help test the speed of the cars. it was beautiful, and fred bought us breakfast. a national treasure. 

i needed the first two weeks in june off, and management granted me a personal leave. sometimes, i really do appreciate them. 

finally, the day came. i flew back to charleston for the first time since my broke ass ankle to celebrate melissa and glenn. and i took benny along for the ride. we flew in, reunited with my parents, got some finishing touches for the bachelorette party (freaking out in the meantime). the other bridesmaids and i took melissa to brunch, a lil gift exchange, and a sunset cruise piloted (is that the right word?) by her favorite high school teacher. it was nice, lowkey day. and then the rehearsal dinner was the next day and the wedding the next. melissa looked so beautiful (as she always does) and the wedding was perfect. the ceremony took place outside and it started to rain beforehand, so they ended up pushing it back an hour and having a cocktail hour first. everything worked out and the lighting was perfect. i loved seeing melissa and glenn’s first dance and her dance with her parents. and i was so grateful to her to include me in the day. she’s my oldest friend and i love her so much. 

in the couple days after the wedding, i hung with my parents and lauren and david. we did a ghost tour and, most importantly, went to waffle house. 

immediately after, benny and i flew to denver. somehow for the past 2 years, i had been taking classes and completing the requirements for my master’s degree, and i was sure as hell gonna walk in my graduation. we took a night flight and arrived in denver late; we stayed overnight in the airport to save some money. it surprisingly wasn’t too bad, except for waking up at one point to a man on the other side of the bench shaking around. but it was okay. we left in the morning and went to the university of denver campus so i could take a covid test, then got some food from a turkish restaurant nearby while we waited to check in to our airbnb. when the time finally came and we got to our room, i was so happy to not have to lug around my heavy suitcase anymore. we showered and headed downtown to walk around and get some dinner at a place a coworker of ours had recommended. he recommended a lot of stuff since he used to live in the area, but i think that’s the only one we ended up taking.

i also got a phone call that day from our scheduler asking me about scheduling my training to be a trainer, since the days went against my availability. i was nervous to see it on my next schedule, but excited to have it finally happen.

on our walk around, we went to voodoo doughnuts and ordered one each, but the worker gave us double. it’s always an exciting treat to get more than you pay for. 

spent the next day exploring denver. we toured the capitol (and got a beautiful view of the rockies from the balcony of the dome), explored cute shops, and i felt pretty dead at a couple points. i fell asleep on a bench for a minute, but it was all right. we ended at a foresty bar my friend had recommended and played foosball.

the next day, i officially ‘graduated.’ there was cake at the reception before the actual ceremony, and then we sat through 3 hours of names being called before it was finally time for my section. benny is such patient man. i met up with him after it finally ended (he sat in the audience; i sat with the other graduates), and he had gotten me a lei and a teddy bear wearing a cap and gown. we got dinner at an italian place my friend had recommended,

the next day was our last in denver. we explored some more, including checking out a zine library and getting pics in a big tire. we ended the day with takeout in the park along the river next to the huge REI. 

we rented a car and headed to boulder for a couple days. on the way, we stopped at a wildlife refuge and almost got caught in a lightning storm. everything was great until we tried to arrive at our airbnb up a dark, windy road quite late (around 10pm or so, maybe), only to find a dark house. we rang the bell a couple times and eventually, a shirtless man answered and said there was no airbnb here. i would have panicked if we didn’t have a car that we could have slept in. however, we ended up heading back into town and spent $200 on a hotel. we sure as hell stuffed ourselves at the free breakfast the next day and booked a new airbnb for the rest of the time. airbnb was incredibly helpful and refunded us as well as gave us some credit for the next airbnb. it was an ordeal, but it was okay.

we didn’t let that mishap affect us too much. we had things to do. after we got everything situated, we headed up to estes park to take the aerial tram as well as visit the stanley. it was a beautiful day, in the end. we even took that long road in rocky mountain national park that goes all the way to the top to see the sunset and the snow on the ground. and when we arrived at our new airbnb, everything was just as described, and they even had 2 dogs that almost made me become a dog person--they were fluffy, well-groomed, and quiet. 

we went back into the national park the next day for a horseback ride and some hiking. i got very sniffly after the ride (i guess i’m a bit allergic to horses) and napped for a bit in the car. we did a beautiful and uncrowded hike to one of the alpine lakes. 

the next day was our flight home, but we had the morning still. we said goodbye to the dogs and went to red rocks before going to the airport. our flight ended up getting delayed, so i asked for meal vouchers. again, we stuffed ourselves. 

went back to work. a few days later was benny’s birthday. at the time, my friend rozi was working at this company that’s sort of a blend of airbnb and a hotel, and she majorly hooked it up and got us a 3-night stay at this beautiful property in laguna for free. i surprised benny, although i had to train people at work during a couple of the days. that place was low-key and luxurious. 

got signed off as a trainer, although i sucked at time management at first. but we all do.

the day i had my star tours refresh class, i did practically nothing all day at work. it was glorious

i was so tan in the summer. i’m sure i’ll get there again this summer (while still lathering on sunscreen, of course)

a few days before my birthday, benny got covid. i spent the days around it getting free food; on my birthday, i took a solo trip to the san diego area and laid on the beach. i was a bit lonely, but i’m also in love with spending time with myself. i’ve always known how introverted and independent i am, but i’ve really realized over the past year that i need to spend significant amounts of time in my life by myself. 

got retrained at nemo a little while after benny did. they had a photo session for us while we were still cycling before the ride officially reopened, and we got really cute pictures that i’ll always treasure. once it reopened, though, we all quickly realized that if you had nemo knowledge, you were stuck at nemo. i was mad that my fellow trainers were getting training shifts and i was stuck. 

put up shelves in my bedroom lmao 

went to natalie’s baby shower. i was scared but also so happy for her. she was ready. and the shower was beautiful

had a much-needed day with rozi--we got our cars washed (for free, of course), had coffee and acai at our old place, and ended up at disneyland. it had been too long. 

got a tour of walt’s apartment

became full-time soon after i turned 26. thank god--i now needed health insurance.

saw shakey graves with benny--i miss the time in my life where i was obsessed with him and live music. i think i’ve said this before, but i’ve kind of outgrown concerts. it was a time in my life i’ll always treasure, though. it makes me miss college and especially dc--taking the metro to the 9:30 club and the anthem.

started my first solo training set

benny and i took a cruise! it a short 4-night, 3-day cruise, and it was perfect. we stuffed our fucking faces, went swimming at the beach in catalina, took a taxi in mexico and got free alcohol, and explored the ship. i know cruises are so awful for the environment (the irony of graduating just about 2 months prior with a master’s in environmental policy and management, i know), but goddamn, they’re so much fun and honestly quite cheap if you do it right. the morning of debarkation, though, i got a text (once we regained service) from my mom asking me to call her. i figured i would do it after we got off the ship, but then she ended up calling me (she had actually sent the message the previous evening) during breakfast to tell me my grandmother had died. i was so so grateful that i’d had the opportunity to see her one last time back in june when benny and i went to charleston for melissa’s wedding. otherwise, i probably wouldn’t have seen her since 2019 when my ankle was broken. i couldn’t even imagine what my father was feeling. he had found her gasping for air after he brought dinner to her apartment for her. she didn’t make it through the night. 

the next day, went right back into finishing my first solo training set. my stomach hurt, i guess from the food and the news. one of my trainees, a transfer from custodial, confided in me that she wanted to stop training and go back to custodial. we talked to management and made that happen for her. it felt nice to be able to support her during all of it.

a killer heat wave made work laughably awful--but that’s climate change for ya, i guess

went to the dentist for the first time in about 3 years. they removed my ‘old-school’ metal retainers (which, admittedly, the top one had broken) and got me set up for new plastic ones to wear overnight. no cavities! 

went to the walt disney studios in burbank and ripley’s believe it or not on hollywood blvd, which my parents had gotten me tickets for for my birthday. i love doing stuff like that, even if it’s touristy. 

benny and i went to shaqtoberfest. it was actually a lot of fun LMAO

funeral arrangements were sort of up in the air for a while. it ended up happening in october, although her death was in late august. i went back to charleston for it. my father’s resilience floors me. i look up to him so much. my mother and i went to my parents’ safety deposit box to pick out jewelry to wear to the funeral. i wore my grandmother’s brooch and ring. it was a sad occasion, but it was nice to be reunited with some family i hadn’t seen since before covid. i miss my family and especially my parents. i realized i would like to make an effort to visit them more frequently. i love spending time with them as adults. 

after my return, benny and i did some halloweeny stuff. i don’t like the holiday that much, but i love going to all the neighborhood festivals and block parties and events. 

finally used my flight credit from when rozi, britt, and i were supposed to visit blake in tennessee back in 2020. i went to austin, my first time in texas. mindy’s parents live outside of austin, and she actually flew there a day after me--she had to pick up her mom’s wedding dress, and it was great timing. i stayed in an airbnb for a night and explored the city (and the college campus--i got free tacos and really missed the campus experience) on my own, and then met up with her and her family the next day. they graciously let me stay there for a few days. her family is so relaxed, and i appreciated how easy it was to be with them. i would like to return to austin by myself or with benny sometime, though. 

took a ‘cast preview’ holiday tour of disneyland. we got soaked in the rain, but still had so much fun. i love the holiday season, and maybe one day i’ll stop letting myself be so consumed by work around that time and actually be able to enjoy everything.

learned the monorail, something i had been trying to do for close to a year. 

surprised benny with a trip up to the bay. i don’t know why--i had just been wanting to take a weekend trip since like april to visit pinnacles national park. i told him to make sure to request the days off, and when the time came, we left right after work. we drove up the 5 and finally, around 9:30 or 10pm, we pulled into the campground. he’d had a hunch this was what i was surprising him with. we slept in the car and freezed our asses off. we did a hike (featuring a couple caves!) the next day and went to an airbnb in san jose. we explored muir woods (i finally saw a banana slug!), went over the golden gate, of course, and tried to get dinner in the city--but i couldn’t find parking and the hills of sf overwhelmed me while driving, so we ended up just leaving. but we did go to the winchester mystery house and santa cruz, where we saw bunches of seals (sea lions? i don’t know). on the way home, we took highway 1 and passed monterey, big sur, and miles of coastal beauty. 

did another every-once-in-a-while vegas weekend trip to see the holiday decorations at the bellagio and visit his friend. i decided i don’t like his friend’s roommate lmao, but we still had a good time. we even got a hike in with some snow. 

saw beautiful holiday lights with benny’s mom and sister. every once in a while, i can dig some family time. 

stayed busy with work. between disney and target during the holiday season, i go weeks without a day off. but it’s all right. i do it to myself. and i love my coworkers. 

the leads and trainers got a blanket from our management team, which was actually so fucking nice 

i interviewed to be a lead--my manager asked me if i had been talking to the cores and then why i wanted to be a lead. then he stopped the interview and told me he’d already previously decided on me, that this ‘interview’ was essentially a formality. i was surprised and, i have to admit, felt really proud. he said to keep it a secret, though, so i did, only telling benny and my favorite lead. 

in the light rain on new year’s eve, benny and i went to the ronald reagan presidential library. what a cool place--yeah, reagan sucks, but it’s still a beautiful museum. and his entire air force one is in there--what an experience to get to walk through it. i love learning about all that stuff. in the evening, benny had a small party--it was still raining, so there wasn’t much of a turnout. it wasn’t the best night, especially since it’s my favorite holiday. but there’s always the next one. 

had some trips to knotts. for a while, i didn’t think i would want to renew my annual pass, but it’s just so cheap that it’s worth it even if you only go a dozen times a year. 

continued to work at target every now and again. they do be giving us free food, i’ll give em that. maybe i’ll quit before the end of 2023. we’ll see. 

drove so much. i love my prius and am so grateful for its reliability. even though traffic sucks, it’s nice to get to spend that time with myself. i still take the bus sometimes, though.

started actively saving money. i still owe student loans, but it seems to be forever on pause, so i just pay a bit here and there. i opened a high-yield savings account and really try to contribute to it often. 

was sort of sad a lot of the time. it’s just hard to be happy with your life when you’re in an hourly position and so many of your peers have ‘career’ jobs and seem so well-established--but i know that everyone has different paths and that i will be okay. but everyone gets in their own head. i also have to admit that i really hate that benny still lives with his family and had such a different upbringing than me. i hate admitting it, but it’s the truth. it sometimes makes it so hard to see a future together where we are established (by that, i mean with steady jobs and a place to ourselves), when we just don’t have good foundations to build on yet, despite being in our mid-20s. it challenges me and my thinking, but i’m also grateful for it. i don’t want to always be comfortable in life--but goddamn is it difficult sometimes. i feel that the relationship is so juvenile in terms of our stage in life. we will get there, though. and benny is miles ahead of me in so many facets of emotional intelligence. 

loved lana del rey, i have to admit

song of the year: “head full of doubt/road full of promise,” the avett brothers. it makes my heart heavy with a load of both fear and perseverance--‘decide what to be and go be it’ is such a scary, yet beautiful phrase. the entire song takes me aback with how much i can relate it to my own struggles (or whatever). 

2022 really saw the country come out of the pandemic, if you can even separate the times in that way. i find myself getting more removed from current events, and i hate myself for it. i don’t feel as aware as i used to be during college. i just go through the days at work, try to stay healthy, and spend time with friends and benny. i miss how i used to keep up with the world. maybe someday, i’ll start again. for now, i just try to be all right with my own life. i suppose you have to be okay with yourself, primarily, right? after all, it’s your own thoughts and body that you are with the most. it may be selfish, but it’s unavoidable. i would like to be happy with my own life, and i think i will eventually. i’m getting there. and the days continue to pass lazily, yet quickly. “i know pain is as natural as the rain; i just thought it didn’t rain in california.” 

[simplytheevebest]

I posted 1,167 times in 2022

That's 1,167 more posts than 2021!

175 posts created (15%)

992 posts reblogged (85%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@eves-da-best

@youleavethetardisbrakeson

@astrid-v

@evebestt

@faytalepsy

I tagged 1,048 of my posts in 2022

Only 10% of my posts had no tags

#eve best - 828 posts

#fate the winx saga - 430 posts

#ftws - 419 posts

#house of the dragon - 411 posts

#fate winx saga - 404 posts

#hotd - 402 posts

#fate: the winx saga - 400 posts

#rhaenys targaryen - 380 posts

#rhaenys velaryon - 373 posts

#farah dowling - 334 posts

Longest Tag: 136 characters

#i just don't agree with the creators explanation of motherhood and making it sound like rhaenys could've ended the war before it started

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

An absolutely wild theory, but after talking to my cousin and showing her the scenes (she is a video editing wizard) I am thinking they filmed Farah's scenes separately. Like entirely. The camera angles and positioning of the characters is done in such a way that they don't ever explicitly interact or touch until the end when Bloom and Farah hug. And even then, we don't see Bloom's face when she hugs Farah, nor Farah's face when they show Bloom. And it's not like the hug in s1, where it was shown from multiple angles but clearly it was the actors.

I don't know, the blocking of the scenes is very deliberate, I feel like, where they stand separate in the old house and the lighting on Farah's face is different from the lighting with the others. Which if this is true, highlights again how lucky we are to have gotten those scenes from Eve Best if this was all they could arrange with her schedule on House of the Dragon (and also why we didn't get any Silrah scenes).

Edit: okay so not so wild after all! @eves-da-best found this article (thank you my dear) where the actors explain Eve Best actually filmed scenes on the HotD set and her lines on her phone to send over. So we can acknowledge how AMAZING it is that she would be willing to do that now that she is, as Eliot Salt said best "a House of the Dragon icon."

230 notes - Posted September 16, 2022

#4

Sky: Can I ask you for dating advice?

Saul: Just because I'm with Farah doesn't mean I know how I did it

250 notes - Posted July 26, 2022

#3

Farah, post s2, alive and well as it should be: I learned some very valuable lessons from this

Saul: I’m guessing they are all horrible distortions on the lessons you actually should’ve taken away

Farah: Death isn’t real, and I’m basically God

259 notes - Posted September 17, 2022

#2

S2 Has Officially Broken Me, or the Farah the Fern AU Nobody in Their Right Mind Would Ever Ask For

So I don't see why Farah the fern couldn't have been a thing. Like okay she can't retain a physical form for extended periods of time while her magic recharges and they figure out how to give her a physical form for good, so just keep her in a pot on the desk. Zap her with some magic when you want a chat like a magic, magic 8 ball.

I'm just imagining Saul at her desk doing the paperwork that's technically part of her job and she's a fern so she can't do anything except, I don't know, change colors? Wave leaves? Maybe as she regains more magic she can change plants, so she keeps turning into a cactus and Saul knows that means she doesn't want him doing her work and she knows that he knows but he just ignores her like "sorry I don't speak plant."

This has the same energy as invisible Stella chucking plants to the floor when the girls talked about something and she disagreed. Like imagine they take turns showing her around the school and talking to her so she doesn't feel left out or cooped up in her office because she's a literal plant and can't leave. And Riven carries around a potted plant for a whole afternoon with ridiculous commentary until Musa appears with actual Farah the Fern and it turns out he's been talking to a normal plant all day, so then they have to decorate the pot so that mix up doesn't happen again.

And there's an argument about keeping her in the common room of the suite at night because they all want her near but maybe she'd like to be in her own quarters? Will she get lonely? And Saul steps in like "alright, enough, if Headmistress Dowling is sleeping anywhere it's with me" and then he has to contend with the shit-eating grins of his students for that little slip up and poor Farah just has to listen to all of this.

I might have cried out all my braincells with this AU guys, but I'm not sorry ❤️ it's making me laugh, that's what matters

Edit: this is now a thing! Farah the Fern Masterlist

260 notes - Posted September 17, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Okay but can we talk about the face Rhaenys made when Daemon suggested the Blacks "had Meleys" without even asking her if she was supporting them?

She literally went:

262 notes - Posted October 24, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[audioandart]

The New Comment Section Sucks

Or at least, it appears to be new, I got it a couple days ago (read, just a little over a week ago). It could be I just got it late 🤷‍♀️

I've sat with it. I've tried to see if it has merit. Any pros. I don't usually like change so I tried to be conscious of that and not let that cloud my judgement. I tried looking at Tumblr on multiple devices to see if perhaps any issues was my phone (it wasn't.)

The new comment section does not work. I haven't seen anyone else say this so honestly who knows, maybe it's just something with my account, but in case this is an actual problem and maybe there's someone else out there who's noticed it doesn't work and feels like they're losing their mind because they don't see anyone else talking about it, here's this post.

I'll start with the only pro I've noticed. The fact that you can immediately see which comments are in reply to other comments. Great! Something I've bemoaned in the past was the difficulty to find the start of comment chains. It wasn't too difficult or upsetting for me but it could definitely be a chore. It is pretty nice to immediately be able to see what is from where.

The cons. Oh dear. I'll go in least bad to absolute worst imo

The replies are not seen automatically in some chains. I'm not sure why some chains they are automatically visible and in some they aren't but I don't think it's good? One of the ways people communicate here is jumping into a conversation they see in the replies, but they don't do that if the effort to see the reply is too high. In many situations it's too high to press the small button (that I doubt people with vision issues of any sort can see) that also for some reason some times breaks the comment section and launches you back to the top. Most of this is a nitpick but the broken button and its size is a problem.

The new background. I don't have vision problems but I can't see, I cannot imagine it being good for anyone who does have them. The greyish blueish color behind black text is NOT helpful. Idk, I do know there are some people who this would actually be good for, but I think it's very important to at least maybe have to option to have the normal black and white, because some people need that to see. (Including me, please bring it back.) Honestly, the comments have just been made endlessly less accessible. I genuinely have to reread things multiple times because I cannot retain what I'm reading. Long story, but yes the background color affects what my brain retains. Iirc it affects everyone's brains but I digress.

When typing, the comment box (where you type) no longer stays at the part you're typing, but at the very top. You can no longer see what you're typing past a point. I'm also not sure this is or isn't my device, but I checked this on multiple and it still happened so I'm leaning towards the site. This started gradually before the change.

I cannot find my comments. This also started gradually before the change, and is why I thought my account was broken, but I was since informed by multiple people that my comments are genuinely just disappearing. Deleted it would seem, however it hasn't been staff. Small simple things like a little compliment on art. Literally just a "good job!" gone from the site. (And just in case someone thinks it might be the op deleting something on their post, about half of the people who informed me my comment was gone was the op. They were trying to respond to the comment I left for them and found it was no longer there, so it isn't them.) And it happens days and even months after the comment was posted, as well as completely randomly. However, some comments I've posted aren't deleted, because I'm receiving replies to them. They just aren't visible to me (and ONLY me) anymore. I also assumed this could have been my Internet, but I've tested that multiple times as well and found it is still just Tumblr. I've literally been in the middle of a comment convo when the person trying to respond to me will have to ask what I said because my comment(s) are suddenly gone. And I usually can't remember! This is usually at least a week or two after I posted it. This is not good. I also only was able to respond because comments weren't linked, and now that they are I won't be able to respond to the people asking about my comments because if I can't find the start, I can't find the replies.

Replies are also gone. This is the worst offender. Every single reply someone has left on any of my comments are GONE. I receive notifications on them, and not only are MY comments straight up gone, COMPLETELY, because for some reason all of a sudden, after this change ALL my comments no longer exist, but any reply left on my comments I can see don't exist. To everyone who's tried to reply to my comments recently and I haven't gotten back to you, this is why. I'm being super serious. I've received probably about 10 replies since the change. I know, I'm so popular. I haven't been able to find a single one. And from the little notifications I got, these seem to be pretty important replies! I would very much like to reply! But I can't! It's not just aggravating, or frustrating, but also very concerning. Someone out there, anyone, have any of you had this happen or is this one really just me? Etc etc if anyone has had this happen please feel free to reach out to me, I would appreciate the examples for if I bring this up again, thank you very much.

Basically, @staff, I say this out of frustration but also concern. While it's nice to have the comment sections just that tiny bit neater and slightly more intuitive in the sense that you immediately know what is in response to what, this feels very much like a monkeys paw situation. The rest of the comment section has broken. Almost in it's entirety... Please, PLEASE for the love of god fix this. I'm hoping that if anyone comments on this post, something about it being my post will let my actually see the damn things, but I don't know. We'll see!

And to everyone who's NOT staff, please if you have examples I would love to hear them. If I'm not responding to your comments below, send me a dm because I probably can't see them. I'm serious about appreciating any stories because it would help greatly to know it's not just me... 😅

[wrestlingisfake]

Dominion preview

El Desperado vs. Taiji Ishimori - This is the final match in the Best of the Super Jr. tournament; there is no time limit, and there must be a winner. Despe won A Block with a 6-3 record, and defeated B Block runner-up DOUKI in the semifinals. Ishimori finished at 7-2 atop B Block, and won the other semifinal against the A runner-up, TJP.

The winner of this match will presumably challenge SHO for the IWGP junior heavyweight championship. In the past the BOSJ winner would get his title shot at Dominion, but obviously that's not the case this time. I can only assume the title match will headline one of the shows on the next tour (June 16-July 5). Then again, Despe is promoting his own indie show, Despe Invitacional, on June 10, so it'd be wild if he won this match and challenged Sho to meet him on his own turf.

For Ishimori, this match is part of the long road to come back from a neck injury that took him out of last year's BOSJ and cost him five months of his career. But I can't really believe he's going to win and challenge a member of House of Torture, which is technically still aligned with him within Bullet Club. It'd be interesting if it happened, but I wouldn't hold my breath. To me, the logical pick here is Despe, considering New Japan is distributing his show tomorrow, and both parties would benefit if he closed this show with a go-home promo.

Jon Moxley vs. EVIL - This is Moxley's fourth defense of the IWGP world heavyweight title. Evil punked Mox out on May 11, declaring himself the next top contender, and defacing the title belt with black spray paint. This will be Evil's third shot at the belt. He's never been world champion, although in 2020 he did win the "double crown" of the heavyweight and intercontinental titles, which were later unified to create the prize Mox holds today.

This is billed as a "lumberjack deathmatch." As with any lumberjack match, a crowd of wrestlers will surround the ring, to make sure any participant who exits the ring is promptly put back between the ropes. There isn't really a rule that says whether the lumberjacks can or should rough up participants they don't like, but that's what always happens. Since it's supposed to be a deathmatch, I guess anything goes and Moxley will do some sick shit. But a deathmatch in New Japan isn't quite as violent as you'd expect from BJW, or GCW, or even AEW, so don't count on seeing broken glass and fire.

Traditionally, the lumberjacks would be a random assortment of babyfaces and heels, but in New Japan the general idea is that each participant selects his own set of enforcers. Evil's lumberjacks are his buddies from House of Torture: Ren Narita, Sho, Yujiro Takahashi, Yoshinobu Kanemaru, and Dick Togo. (As far as I know, Jack Perry won't be in town for the show, but it'd be pretty funny if he did a surprise run-in.) Moxley's side consists of his young sidekick Shota Umino and four old-timers: Yuji Nagata, Togi Makabe, Hiroyoshi Tenzan, and Tiger Mask. I like all the guys on Mox's side, but they haven't exactly convinced me they can keep the House of Torture in check.

So I think it's pretty obvious Moxley has to retain, right? I mean, they'll tease the idea of Evil winning in a fuck finish, because that's what they always do with the House of Torture. But they're not actually going to build Mox up like Superman just for him to slip on a banana peel and lose the world title to fucking Robbie Rotten. Which means the most interesting angle heading into this match is the NJPW press conference where management vowed to crack down on all the blatant cheating the House of Torture specializes in. If that wasn't just a bunch of hot air, then you'd think this would be the House of Torture's last stand, and it'll be interesting to see if the story is presented as such.

Shingo Takagi vs. HENARE - Takagi's NEVER title is on the line. Henare issued a challenge for the title on May 11, in video package announcing his return from injury. Two months earlier, the top of Henare's head was badly lacerated during the big United Empire vs. War Dogs cage match. You could tell it was bad, because they kept him off-camera for most of the match, and when he finally got back into action (!) his head was heavily bandaged up, like that one bounty hunter from The Empire Strikes Back.

Anyway, I thought Henare was scary as fuck to begin with, and that was before he got tattoos all over his face, and now the dude is coming back from nearly bleeding to death to pick a fight with Shingo. Henare's got me feeling like this is a battle between a Maori warrior and literal Japanese dragon, and I am pretty stoked for this. It'd be a great story for Henare to win the title in an epic slugfest. But I've felt that way for years, and that hasn't been enough for New Japan to push the guy. I'll be pulling for the challenger, but this match could go either way.

KENTA & Chase Owens vs. El Phantasmo & Hikuleo vs. Hirooki Goto & YOSHI-HASHI vs. Shane Haste & Mikey Nicholls - Kenta and Chase are defending the IWGP heavyweight tag team title, while ELP and Hiku are defending the STRONG tag team title. This is an elimination match, so whenever one of the participants loses a fall, he and his partner must leave; the match continues until all but one team is eliminated. We're also using tornado rules, so all eight men can brawl all over the place at the same time.

Kenta/Owens and Bishamon (Goto/Yoshi) have been trading the IWGP title back and forth; meanwhile the Guerillas of Destiny and Haste/Nicholls have been fighting over the STRONG belts. Haste and Nicholls crossed the streams on May 5, when they tried to challenge the IWGP champs, and the other two teams weren't too keen about that.

This will be the fourth time in the past 14 months that one team will hold both of these tag titles. I keep thinking New Japan intends to unify them, but it never happens. Indeed, earlier this week they announced that all the STRONG-branded championships would be exclusive to the US market going forward. Okay, cool, but that clearly wasn't the plan when you guys booked this double title match in Japan. I can't even begin to predict a winner for this, because I can't understand the direction of the titles.

Jeff Cobb vs. Tomohiro Ishii - Cobb won the NJPW World television championship last month, and Ishii stepped up to get the first title shot. This title is always defended within a fifteen-minute time limit. Cobb's big thing these days is complaining that anybody can just walk up to Jon Moxley and demand a world title shot. For some reason, he's not bothered at all that Ishii received this title shot by just walking up to Cobb and demanding it. I think Cobb should retain, although I'm not sure where he's headed unless he's going to challenge Moxley.

Hiroshi Tanahashi & Toru Yano & Boltin Oleg vs. Yota Tsuji & Hiromu Takahashi & BUSHI - Tana's team is defending the NEVER trios title. Tsuji's team (along with Titan) defeated the champs (along with Dragon Dia) in an eight-man tag match on June 3, to set up this title bout. Oleg looks to be as big as Hiromu and Bushi put together, so the challengers are at a bit of a disadvantage. I'd like to see Tsuji's team win some gold, but it's just the trios title so it doesn't make much difference who ends up with it. I can't pick a winner here.

Yuya Uemura vs. Great-O-Khan - Uemura defeated Khan for the KOPW title on April 27, so this is the rematch. Whoever, holds the title at the end of the year will be the KOPW 2024 champion. The rules for this match prohibit strikes of any kind; all offense must be limited to holds and throws. Going out of bounds--by exiting the ring or by using the ropes to escape a hold--is discouraged: Each participant is only allowed to do it twice, and after that it's an immediate disqualification. Oh, and there's a fifteen-minute time limit. I guess it'll be fun to watch these guys grapple for a while, but I've spent more time writing down the rules than I'm going to spend thinking about this match. Uemura should retain.

Zack Sabre Jr. & Robbie Eagles & Kosei Fujita vs. Clark Connors & Drilla Moloney & LJ Cleary - This is a preview of Connors/Moloney vs. Eagles/Fujita for the IWGP junior tag title, scheduled for June 16. Cleary is part of the Good Looking Guys faction in Pro Wrestling NOAH, which apparently has some sort of alliance with the War Dogs. Seems like Sabre's team should win here, unless they want to showcase Cleary for some reason.

Tetsuya Naito vs. Callum Newman - Newman spent the Best of the Super Jr. tour angling for a one-on-one match against Naito. Naito seems to find that kind of ridiculous. I tend to agree, since Newman looks to be 120 pounds if he was soaking wet with a brick in his pants. Usually when they do this sort of thing the young upstart gets clobbered, and then he reminisces about it seven years later when their paths cross again and the odds are very different. I expect this match to follow that pattern.

[lisacatara-actress]

Almost Lisa- Pt 2, “Almost Musician”

*I retain all rights to my photography and story, story details, biographical information, fashion designs, art work, and anything and everything I have posted which is my own creation*)

Just settled in to write today at another cafe, this time in Trilith Studios in Atlanta, GA (I’ll eventually get to how I got here). I like the owners, a humble and kind wife/husband team who make mean pastries (alas, I'm gluten-free. I'm part Italian. WHY GOD, WHY?! ). Recently, I asked if I could flood their tall, bare white walls with my art and photography. Today, I'm enjoying this collaboration, the coffee, the view, and the tiniest feeling of community. What better environment to continue penning my story?

“Failure is not the end of the world. Trip, fall, face plant… But throw up a jazz hand and carry-on! “

So... 9/11 changed many lives. While mine was spared (I went uptown to sign a work contract, missing breakfast in tower 2 that morning), my Broadway dreams ended. People were afraid to patron the theaters which suffered greatly for the lack of attendance (as did the Artists). As time progressed, top billed name actresses were cast to play roles once reserved for trained singer/ dancers. There was no room for a newbie like me. I had nowhere to live, no other friends in the city, no job security... I needed to figure out my next move, fast.

In a series of random and unrelated events, I was introduced to a producer in Hollywood, CA who encouraged me to jump coasts to try TV and film and gave me the name of what he felt was a reputable acting class to get started. At first, I laughed. I was a city girl. I loved fine and performing Arts. I needed culture! California was surfing and camping (so I thought). I didn't see myself fitting in. I also didn't see myself surviving a New York winter, homeless. So I made the difficult decision to drive cross country and rebuild my life in new, unknown territory. But first, a stop in Cleveland for a couple off nights to appease my parents. They knew nothing of what happened to me in NYC during the attacks. Only that I decided to shift focus. And they never asked. 

I am 16 in the photo above, working my first job in Little Italy, Cleveland. My Grandparents were proud of this. They were proud and supportive of everything and everyone in the family. And they seemed to make every concert and special event I had (there were many), including my graduation from Eastman. Somehow these two stayed madly in love their entire marriage. They were truly the glue which kept our family together. Outside of our house,  the times I heard my parents laugh and saw them smile most was at my grandparents house. Two of the Tarantino Brothers built their own homes, side-by-side, in Euclid, Ohio where they raised their children. Every Christmas, we’d enjoy a family dinner and homemade pastries, then the families would swap houses and repeat. It was magic. When my grandmother passed, my grandfather passed a year later of a broken heart. And my father was never quite the same.

My parents are both incredibly smart and gifted. My father is a talented Architect. Mom was a teacher (until she had me), then worked for a doctor at one of Cleveland's top medical facilities. Great people, compassionate. They never really “parented” me. They were supportive and showed up for the many things I did. But seldom asked questions. They didn't teach life stuff or share personal experiences. Never spoke to me about boys. Didn’t talk me in or out of my decisions. I kinda just did my thing. If I got it wrong, I got the scowl of disapproval and silence. I think they were overwhelmed (three kids). Likewise, I opted to never share anything negative or challenging with them (the environment I grew up in was negative enough). To this day, they know nothing about most of my struggles and challenges, I spared them. It is exceedingly challenging to go through life the way I have with no foundation of family and safety to “hold” me (likely why I'm writing about it all now). In order to stay healthy and thrive, I always knew I would need to leave the nest. With my father staring stoic in the driveway, I pulled the car out onto the street, waved, and began the three day trek to California. Dad watched the until the car disappeared from view.

________

Sidebar. I spend a lot of time in cafes, sipping Joe or noshing, head down,  writing or editing. I don’t have people (or someone) to spend time with, thus I’ve always enjoyed opportunity to connect with strangers and share stories (I do this all the time, anywhere in the world. So if you see me, please say hello!).  I have a lot of photography, poetry, scripts, and art now. I’ll tell you the story about how photography entered my life later.  Anyways...

________

“Sometimes everything you want (everything which makes you happy) is on the other side of Fear”

If you've never been a brown woman traveling solo through the South of North America with Yankee plates, it'll certainly keep you on your toes. Interestingly, I've never had a problem dealing with others when traveling (not even in the Favela of Brazil). Most all dissonance I've received in my life was from colleagues and competitive “friends”. It's interesting to excel at communication with powerful decision makers at a very high level, but constantly be misunderstood by peers and those of lesser understanding and/or experience. Hollywood was about to teach me a few things regarding trust, friendships, opportunity. And a lot about myself.

In February 2005, I arrived in sunny California, mid-monsoon (exaggerating), struggling to find my way to The San Fernando Valley while unable to see ten inches in front of me. That year, several “Hollywood Hills” houses slid off their foundations, wrecked by flooding.  The new environment and lack of connection to a brand new city and life might have intimidated me. But I was focused. Somehow I managed to hear about a background casting company for television and film and immediately got registered. Then called every day to remain employed as a background artist until I earned my Screen Actors Guild card, got an agent, and enrolled in acting classes. It felt like a proverbial foot in the door.

Suddenly, my life regained purpose. There was movement. I was in Hollywood, working consistently on TV and film sets, booking commercials & print work, and spokesperson gigs for companies and products (a forte which kept me busy). I was on the red carpets (at this time more often interviewing, not interviewed), and establishing myself with casting directors. My energy was endless. Every win encouraged and inspired me to keep moving, keep auditioning and interviewing, keep networking.

The resume was growing, but I was hardly “blending in”. When you're talented, intelligent and you look like THIS...

...it’s unbelievably challenging to succeed past the gatekeepers who expect favors in exchange for your progress. It was more than just the (sadly) common and expected casting couch, or the inappropriate producer/ AD/ director/ lead actor... in the way. I found I could do absolutely nothing and still be found “difficult”.

There were times on set I would be asked by the 1st AD or producer to be tucked into the back of a crowd so-as not to intimidate or distract a name talent on the show. One actress had me removed from set and asked I not be hired on her show again.  I learned quickly that shrinking to spare the insecurities of others was not a forte of mine. So I committed effort to booking roles for myself. And I did.

It never occurred to me that I wasn't as deserving of opportunity as the celebrities I often worked with. I felt at home in those moments. But I did not welcome the ongoing assault of sexual objectification, manipulation and even blatant threats to derail my success simply for saying 'no” to decision-makers. I can affirm from the inside of the business that those “casting couches” and predatory behavior are real at all levels and departments in the industry. I can also confirm that saying “NO” makes everything more challenging. My career success was modest for it. But I take pride in knowing everything I've earned was done so by talent and professionalism. I had bounced back from 9/11, losing my first love (music), overcoming (brief) homelessness, and now established myself as an actress, working in Hollywood. Then I got the sign I was waiting for that I made the right choice and things were going to be alright. I booked something career-changing.

By 2007 I'd come close several times to booking major roles and recurring characters on TV shows. I was frustrated, but motivated by continued invitations to audition for the top casting directors. Then I got a good one! I landed a guest star on an NBC TV show alongside a few established name actors in a role which was expanded- just for me- based on the quality of my callback. That kind of trust makes your chest swell. It was validation. I earned it. It was a “Welcome Mat”. I arrived to set prepared for the week of filming and ready to assure producers they'd made the right choice.

The popular sitcom filmed all week in studio, then that Friday in front of a live audience (as a stage performer, I was in my element). We walked through rehearsals, marked things for camera and director, and got to know each other as cast. I was working primarily with #1 on the call sheet, a brilliant physical actor who was unexpectedly supportive of me as an emerging talent. He offered a solid piece of professional advice I've carried with me ever since: “Own The Room”.

"Some people show off their beauty because they want the world to see it. Others hide their beauty because they want the world to see something else"

That Thursday the execs rolled through to watch our dress rehearsal. Afterward I was pulled aside with accolades and a welcome I'd thought was the normal Hollywood deal. At their suggestion, I made plans to “discuss my future” with the casting director that following Monday. That night, when I returned to my dressing room, there was a hand-written note slid under my door with one word on it: “Dinner?”. Instant panic. Am I going to lose my job if I say “No”? What do I do? I don't want to create problems with anyone. I quietly grabbed my things and went home.

The next day was the live audience taping. I was a little on edge wondering where the note came from (I had my suspicions), but chose to behave as if I never received it. The show was a success, we took our bows, I thanked the director and cast and went home on a performance high. That Monday I kept my appointment with casting who offered a short list of larger agents to interview with. This was- I thought- a very good sign. So I interviewed with the agencies, gave it week to consider, then selected who I felt was the best match. When I called to speak with the head of the agency she apologetically explained that the WGA (Writers Guild) was about to strike and that we would have to reconvene in a few months. Well, a few months turned into 5, then 6, my calls and emails to the casting agent suddenly went un-responded to. I was forgotten and- now- unrepresented. The strike changed the career trajectory for so many like me. After how hard I fought and studied to make it this far, I was completely deflated for the second time in my life. It felt like the wind had been knocked out of me.

I was ALMOST a Success.

        (to be continued...)

(PS If you like what you're reading, I welcome contributions to the efforts via Venmo @LTarantinoDesigns)

[so-mordor-itis]

94 - nightmare with Thoma? I feel like he’d be so good at comforting an s/o with night terrors or bad dreams ;u;

You didn't remember what the dream had been about. At that point, you were willing to place guesses on just about anything; the Raiden Shougun taking your vision, her blade sparking up with lightning, it's purple streaks as it climbed up your skin. A valid fear, considering the times.

You had not even screamed, or started awake. You only opened your eyes, realizing you were indeed not in front of the Raiden Shougun, or listening to Thoma's shouts and pleas as she rose her sword to strike. Your heart rate, however, matched the pace as it was in your dream. You rose your hand to see it had been shaking. You sighed through your nose, hoping your little movements didn't wake the man beside you.

Thoma deserved as much rest as he could get. He had been working so hard the previous day, maintaining the Kamisato estate with the occasional help from you and the other retainers in the area, but he was stubborn and said you worked just as hard as he did. You truly begged to differ.

After taking a deep breath, you attempted to escape the comforting warmth of the sheets beneath you. The chill of night immediately caressed your skin and you shivered; sudden regret flew over you, but you didn't want to risk waking Thoma. Surely the up and down movements would stir him awake.

The estate was quiet at night, though quiet as one could get. In the distance, a side rumbling of thunder could be heard, probably from the neighboring island. Still, despite your possible dream, it was comforting. It told you she wasn't near you. She was far away, and you were okay.

"Taking a late night stroll?"

You jumped, clutching a wooden pillar with all your might. "T...Thoma?" He was awake.

He looked sleepy, which you found oddly cute. His normally combed blond hair was a bit messy, down and not in its usual ponytail. You felt a twinge of guilt surface in your stomach; perhaps your removed weight created a disturbance.

"You're not as sneaky as you try to be," he explained, soft smile accompanying his sleepiness. As if you said something sour, his mood instantly changed. Worry had replaced his smile. "Is everything alright?"

Ah.

You tried to bite down the tears, your nose began to itch with the threat. "Yeah. I'm...I'm fine." No. Don't cry. Please.

Thoma softly said your name, and the dam had broken. You began to cry, though it was quiet. The man took only a few steps before reaching you, arms around you in a protective manner, hand sliding through your hair just the way you liked it. You most likely didn't even need to explain to him what happened--he already knew.

"You're okay," Thoma mumbled, lips touching the top of your head. "It's alright."

"I'm sorry for waking you..." You found yourself saying. He only shook his head, parting you from him to cradle your face in his hands. His thumb caught a tear that had escaped.

"You never have to apologize for that. If you need me," he gazed deep into your eyes. "you know I'm here."

The flow of your tears became heavier. Relief, perhaps? You couldn't tell.

You didn't realize the soft rumbling in the distance had stopped.

~

|Tags:|

@halcyon-writings , @sierrascribbles , @dulcesiabits

[therealvinelle]

I know this is like taking a bat to the beehive but... I really wanna hear your opinions on the whole... Imprinting thing

(Note before we go any further: this meta is written purely about the shapeshifting aspect of the Quileute characters, I don’t at all get into the racism in Twilight or any kind of social commentary. This is a purely watsonian meta. Others in this fandom have already addressed the racial dynamics at play, far more eloquently and knowledgeably than me. If I say something in here that’s in any way offensive, that’s not my intention and I’m open to criticism.)

Ooh imprinting.

I touch upon it here, basically I hate it.

The imprinting is part of this theme where the shapeshifters lose their free will and autonomy, and I find it tragic, cruel, and unnecessary.

First of, the fact that they have to phase at all.

They’re made warriors to protect their tribe. There’s no choice involved, only genetics and magic irrevocably changing their lives, and at a ridiculously young age, too. Sam is the oldest of them, and he is 19.

Violence is an inherent part of what they become. Their purpose is to protect the tribe, by fighting vampires. Not only is this insanely dangerous (we see Jake get so injured by a single vampire that he’s bedridden for weeks), but if they succeed, they will have killed. In the singularly brutal manner of tearing apart and burning someone who looks a lot like a human, who talks and might beg for their life, at that. And I remind you, most of these shapeshifters are literal children. They might not see vampires as people, but all the same, killing one can’t be good for their mental wellbeing. (Thought: Perhaps an argument can be made for Laurent’s death having a part in the turn Jake’s personality took? Some, though not many, of the symptoms for PTSD do fit. I don’t know enough about PTSD to pursue this train of thought, but it occurred to me just now, in particular he becomes quite aggressive and prone to outbursts after that incident, so into a parenthesis it goes)

Not to mention how inhumane that responsibility is. Vampires in the Twilight-verse are terrifying, and the shapeshifters might have the power to fight them. But (and this is where I plug one of my all-time favorite animes, Puella Magi Madoka Magica, as it asks the question “Is it okay to sacrifice yourself for others?” because that’s... well there’s a parallel to be made to the shapeshifters. It’s on Netflix!) does that mean they should? Is it really their responsibility? Again- they’re kids!

Then there’s the time Sam lost control, and accidentally mauled the girl he loved. And it’s so cruel to both him and Emily. Sam never chose to have to control himself in the first place, he never chose shapeshifting. He didn’t choose to imprint on Emily either, and he didn’t choose to lose control that day. At no point in the series of events that led to Emily being mauled did Sam have any real choice, and yet he will shoulder the guilt for what happened for the rest of his life.

These kids get superpowers, and several of them seem to enjoy being shapeshifters, but the fact remains that they now carry this huge responsibility to protect their families and homes, doing so is incredibly dangerous, they lose out on their regular lives, and they can’t opt out of it.

This all sucks, but then we get to the fact that they are deprived of their free will, as their alpha can issue an order they physically can’t break. The alpha becomes alpha because of bloodlines, not because of a democratic election. Jake got a mockery of a choice in that he could choose to become alpha himself, or let Sam continue, which was really just choosing between a rock and a hard place. There is no limitation to what this order can be, from “don’t say X to person Y” to “let’s kill someone you love”. Jake has to struggle to break that last one, and he’s only successful because of the bloodline thing letting him become his own alpha.

Oh, and there’s the massive invasion of privacy when they have a hive mind. Cool concept, less cool to have it be reality. Leah is the poster child for how a hive mind can backfire, and they can’t opt out of this.

I’m not good at gifs, but the shapeshifters just make me think of that gif of someone flicking a lightswitch on and off, “WELCOME TO HELL!”. Of course, Twilight in general is a pit of despair for everybody, so I suppose that gif really is... well it sums up all of canon.

So, we have these kids aged 19 or younger, as of Breaking Dawn they skew as young as thirteen, their lives are turned upside down by something they can’t opt out of, they must shoulder this huge responsibility to protect their homes and families from the terrifying threat of vampires, and on top of all of that, they must obey orders that are so irresistible, they can compel them to harm someone they care for.

With all of that in mind, you’d think that the shapeshifters had enough on their plate. That through all of this they would at least retain their selves, and be able to look forward to a future where they could stop phasing, and go on to live normal, human, lives.

Yeah, NOT IF THEY IMPRINT.

I’ll just quote Jake’s description:

Everything inside me came undone as I stared at the tiny porcelain face of the halfvampire, half-human baby. All the lines that held me to my life were sliced apart in swift cuts, like clipping the strings to a bunch of balloons. Everything that made me who I was—my love for the dead girl upstairs, my love for my father, my loyalty to my new pack, the love for my other brothers, my hatred for my enemies, my home, my name, my self—disconnected from me in that second—snip, snip, snip—and floated up into space. 

I was not left drifting. A new string held me where I was. 

Not one string, but a million. Not strings, but steel cables. A million steel cables all tying me to one thing—to the very center of the universe. 

I could see that now—how the universe swirled around this one point. I’d never seen the symmetry of the universe before, but now it was plain. 

The gravity of the earth no longer tied me to the place where I stood. (Breaking Dawn, page 237)

Everything that made me who I was disconnected from me.

Jake’s love for his father, his home, his very own self, it’s all gone now. And while I have thoughts on the authenticity of this imprint, whether it was organic, the description above is apparently how imprinting feels. It’s along the lines of what Sam, Jared, and Paul all describe.

I don’t think I can put into words just how devastating I find imprinting, I think the above quotation speaks for itself. And as with all other shapeshifter things, there is no choice involved.

We see its devastating effects in the Emily, Sam, and Leah debacle. Sam and Leah were serious together, so much so that they were engaged. Sam had fallen for and chosen to be with Leah. Perhaps they would have broken up eventually, but Leah was still the choice he made. Then he imprints on Emily, and all that is for naught. He had to break up with Leah, who if she hadn’t phased never would have learned why, Emily and Leah’s relationship is ruined, and Emily must forever live with the knowledge that if Sam had his free will intact he would be with another woman.

Then there’s Jared and Kim. Kim crushed on Jared, but Jared never noticed her. The fact that they were in the same class is damning: if a boy is attracted to a girl, he's gonna notice her. Jared never did.

Quil imprints on Claire, who is a toddler. That’s just a recipe for misery and disaster all around.

And I’ve only touched the shapeshifter side of things. They lose their autonomy and freedom, but the imprintées draw the short straw too. They’re now responsible for this other person’s happiness. Sure, having someone who’ll be whatever you need them to be sounds nice (well, it sounds horrifying, but I’m playing ball) on paper, but you can’t opt out of them being like that. The imprintée can’t say “Sorry, not interested,” and she certainly can’t shut the imprinter out of her life, not without irrevocably ruining the imprinter’s life. The imprinter needs her. She’s the center of his earth now, but she didn’t choose to be.

Imprinting is a liferuiner for everyone involved.

Then we have the question of what imprinting is even for. I’m afraid I agree with Billy, that it’s for procreation. We see Sam, who was dating a woman about to phase (even if Leah isn’t infertile, she’s a warrior now. She can’t run in the woods and fight vampires, and gestate and nurse a child at the same time) conveniently imprint on her cousin, who as cousin to Leah is from a shifter bloodline. Claire, as Emily’s cousin, has those same genetics. Paul imprints on a woman from the Black family line. Jake is the outlier, but either Renesmée’s gift helped that imprinting along, or he imprinted because of the offspring they could potentially have (I firmly believe it’s the former because the latter... NOPE. Also, I can’t imagine whatever magic drives imprinting would want vampiric progeny for the future generations. Regardless of Renesmée’s person, her biology is wired to desire human blood. That’s exactly what Jake is supposed to protect people from. Bad match.).

I just.... ughhh. God, I hate imprinting so much, and on every level.

To me, everything about the shapeshifters is about free will, autonomy, and the loss thereof. And it would have been beautiful if their story was about reclaiming that, but it isn’t. None of this, with the exception of the alpha orders, is even acknowledged.

So, in summation, yes I hate imprinting, but it’s only the horror cherry on top of a very sad and problematic cake.

[twelfth-harbinger]

A/n: So this happened... I simp for this archon god. Part two will be out soon! Pls enjoy!!

Mentions: A worried Zhongli— cares so much about your safety you entered a contract with him to ease his heart. Only to be reckless and well... break it. Xiao snitched. Now you must suffer the wrath of the rock and face a fitting punishment.

Warnings: None... yet. ;)

The Broken Contract Part 1

Being the absurdly lawful man that he is, Zhongli could not stand for a broken contract between you both. Even if it was a verbal contract it was a contract nonetheless.

How could he not be upset when you failed to follow through with your end of the contract. He sat across from you with tea, allowing the misty steam from the fine liyue crafted chinaware to fill his nostrils as he raised the cup to his lips. His eyes closed briefly to relax himself as he took his first sip. You stared at him, a bit awestruck at his composure being kept. What ever happened to ‘You will suffer the wrath of the rock?’ You wore a quaint smile on your lips, something he didn’t find all that amusing. Golden eyes settle on your face as he lowered the teacup. It was silent, the two of you could hear Mora drop with how still it was. You could tell he was pressed, the crease in his brow as he studied your nonchalant facial expression made it as clear as a refined and polished piece of cor lapis. Finally, he broke the silence with a question, one you didn’t think he’d ask so casually.

“How should we go about giving you the punishment you deserve?” He stated, your eyes widened a bit as he spoke. His voice was deep, smooth and firm and his eyes held the authority of a god you knew better than to cross. You simply couldn’t help it though, not when you knew he held a soft spot for you in his heart. As you part your lips to speak you noticed he looked at them momentarily before meeting your eyes again. He spoke further instead when you bit down on your bottom lip subconsciously. “You voided the contract and held disregard for your own life. Do you know what those treasure hoarders were going to do to you?” The irritation in his voice stagnated in the air and you felt a little apprehensive under his reprimanding gaze. His eyes glowed, amber-gold speckled with hints of deep copper brown; they were entrancing. “If it weren’t for a passing adventurer assisting you, you’d be dead or worse. Even he was worse for wear after the ordeal. Had I not been on my way to the Wangshu Inn, returning from Qingce Village; I wouldn’t have caught wind of your fate at all.”

He paused to let his words sink in, your nearly fatal encounter with a band of treasure hoarders left you severely injured for a few long weeks. You took up residence in the Wangshu Inn to rehabilitate. While you were recovering, you made it your mission to avoid Xiao. It didn’t help when you bumped into him in the kitchen upon making yourself one of your favorite meals from Monstadt. You made him promise not to tell Zhongli but, he simply told you he didn’t have to. It perplexed you nonetheless as he took his leave, only to later find out that Zhongli was just a few hours away from reaching the inn. He would’ve told him anyways. When he saw you and the state those greedy treasure hoarders left you in, he took a personalized trip to the East of Luhua Pool. Once he returned, he took very good care to you, until you were well enough to discuss the means of your broken contract back in Liyue. The time had come and so, there you both were. He placed his tea down in front of him and looked to you for a proper response, something you found quite difficult to do without saying something that would undoubtedly make this serious man irritable.

“I don’t think I did anything wrong.” You replied, Zhongli sat there, his eyes searching your face for any signs of a jest. You were serious, he couldn’t stop a faint laugh from moving past his lips as he took in what you said. You decided to follow up with it to not seem so stubborn in your ways, it didn’t really help. “Meaning, I took the commission well within the means to do so in our contract.” As you finished your statement, the Archon God stared at you blankly. It was mainly due to the astonishment of what you had just said; it left him a little speechless. Were you really trying to get through a loophole in this contract? While sitting in front of the God of Contracts himself— in the middle of the conversation no less; as well as being in the midst of discussing a fitting punishment? More importantly, was it a valid claim? Zhongli took a moment to ponder it over, his hand moving under his chin as you took a sip of your own tea. You had a sly smile on your face but it faded the moment he looked your way. He caught it in his peripheral though, but refrained from commenting on it.

“You aren’t wrong,” he began, lowering his hand and letting it rest flat on the table by his tea. “However, in the contract we made, it was stated that you would never throw away your life for a commission that would inevitably put you in a position where you can’t properly defend yourself. You did all of that to retrieve a worthless scroll for Lan? Did you really believe that facing an entire band of treasure hoarders in their hideout was worth more than your life?” He genuinely asked, knowing he caught you. You looked away from him with a light pout. When the scroll reached Lan, she told you it was the wrong one and after careful analysis by Zhongli and an Archeologist it was found out to also be a decoy and a fake. Which meant no reward for the commission and the initial request still being up for grabs for any other Adventurer out there. You could understand where Zhongli’s worry and vexation was stemming from. He sighed out and leaned back in his seat; arms folding over his chest as he looked at you. “I’m not angry at you but displeased by the way you don’t think things through. Which is why we made this contract in the first place, I worry about your safety more than you will ever know.” As you met his gaze his expression was soft, which made you feel warm inside. His eyes lowered a bit and a placid expression layered itself on his face. “So?” He said “How shall we go about giving you the proper punishment? It would seem you can only learn the hard way for this isn’t the first time.” He eyed you and under his stare rosy pink blush dusted your cheeks. In any case, he wanted an answer from you that you weren’t too sure how to give.

“I would rather you come up with it, I wouldn’t come up with anything just.” You admitted, he made you read a thick ancient text on the meaning of life once and it was absolute torture. You didn’t retain any of it having fallen asleep more times than you can count. However, when it was still fresh in your mind you were able to recite what Zhongli asked for when he mentioned something about the key points of the passage on the 600th page. When you proposed the idea, he was a bit unsure how he should go about admonition. As he pondered it over, he watched you take a sip from the warm tea he had brewed for you both prior to your current conversation. You licked your lips as you savored the taste of the flowery sweet minty beverage. A refined taste for those who partake in the ritual of tea time, it was then Zhongli realized something. You two hadn’t done anything promiscuous since before you took the commission on. Given his work and the fact that you were injured as well as the hiccups in finding out the authenticity of the scroll and dealing with treasure hoarders; it left little time to be intimate with each other. Zhongli had not thought about it until he was able to be alone with you. Pent up wasn’t even close to what he would describe what he was feeling in that very moment. As he shifted in his seat he let out an exasperated sigh, a gloved finger tapping down idly on the surface of the table you two sat across.

“I see, I’ve thought of something just now.” He said, faint smirk tugging shyly at the corner of his lips. You looked at him, your eyes searching his face for his usual stern and stoic expression. When you found something more playful you looked a little lost. He caught your stare the eye contact you made caused heat to rise to your face.

“What is it?” You asked, wanting to know. Zhongli stood and let his hands rest flat on the table as he did so, before folding them back over his chest.

“I have work to do, the day isn’t over yet.” He ignored your question, a crease formed in his brow as well as yours. What the hell was he thinking? You could rarely get a full read on this man. His mystique held the wisdom of someone who had lived for several millennia. He looked down at you, seeing you trying to figure him out was comical. “You should relax for the rest of the day, soak in a mineral bath with healing geo salt rocks, eat a nice meal. With the earnings from the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor, I’ve bought oils and incense. Use them at your leisure and I will see you later tonight; a bit after the sun sets over Liyue Harbor.” As he spoke he walked over to the door, you weren’t sure what he was getting at but, a day to yourself didn’t sound too bad.

“Zhongli.” You say, before he walked out the door you sent a smile his way, to thank him for his kindness and care and even for his worry. “I love you.” He paused in the doorway, staring back at you with eyes slightly ajar. Your words were exactly what he needed to hear. He strolled back over to you to place a kiss on the top of your head. Eyes closing as he breathed in your sweet scent, your hair tickling his nose and chin.

“I love you too, I’ll see you tonight.” He let out an ominously light chuckle and you looked up at him with quizzical eyes. Almost asking him what was so funny, he glanced down at you and his eyes narrowed slightly. “We’ll discuss your punishment then.” With one more kiss to the top of your head he left for the remainder of the day. You sat there in anticipation, you wondered why he was being so lenient about your punishment. You almost died, how was he still not vexed with you for being so careless? Maybe he was and your charm worked better then you gave yourself enough credit for. He’d likely just have you read again and that wasn’t so bad. Whatever the case may be, you took him up on all the things he had suggested before he left. Those geo salts were truly a blessing from the Geo Archon they soothed every ache and pain you had within minutes of soaking in a nice hot in ground bath. As you did, it made you wonder what Zhongli had in store for you. The sun was nearly close to setting over the horizon of Liyue Harbor, you missed his company and the way he’d look at you with such love and adoration. He may have been unhappy with your rather reckless behavior when it came to your adventuring but, you knew you could crack his stone exterior and weasel your way into a lenient punishment — his soft spot for you was ridiculous. You only wished that he’d touch you, with a little convincing and a bit of teasing you’d have him wrapped around your finger for the night. While you soaked in the in ground bath you plotted, the warm water relaxing your body as you waited for the Archon God to return home and into your arms.

[kkrazy256]

“ i thought i lost you. ” with my fav bros Fox and Thorn? <3 (all the sentences are soooo good)

Hey Amiko <3 Hope you don't mind that I used this prompt for CommanderFoxWeek @loving-fox-hours

Title: Redemption Inside the Grave

Prompt(s): Day 2: Hope | Forgiveness, "I thought I lost you"

Warnings: None

Characters: Commander Fox and Commander Thorn

Additional Tags: Post- Scipio, Commander Fox Needs a Hug

Word Count: 1821

[On Ao3]

The amount of datawork that sits on Fox’s desk after a mission is usually a good indicator of how it went. 

Good missions start with stacks of blueprints, detailed strategies, and the files of his best troops. These missions end with minimal thanks (it’s expected, it’s what they’re made for. What need is there to show gratitude?), and most troopers on the file with their status update still green and labeled functioning. There isn't much datawork for these types of missions. 

Bad missions start hurried by time and Senators, with minimal preparation, and not enough vode (never enough vode). They end with everyone important mad. Mad at him (of course, who else? He deserves it. He deserves it all. He fucked up. He’s always fucking up). It ends with spitting insults about incompetence and hurling threats of decommissioning. But none of it hurts. At least it never hurts more than the blocks of red (deceased) on the files he has to read through and sign off on. These missions end with more vode coming back in bodybags than on their feet, and Fox can’t help but think, I did that to them.  

The worst missions? It’s the ones where he wakes up underwater, a weight heavier than an anvil over his chest, stealing every breath and pushing him deeper and deeper into the dark. Missions where he does things he doesn’t fully comprehend beyond I followed my orders, I am a good soldier. Only to look back and think, is he?  

It’s holding up his blaster with still hands and perfect calm. It’s taking deadly aim even when he sees the resignation in Rex’s eyes and feels nothing. Nothing until the body hits the floor and he can’t take his own helmet off to pay respects because what right does he have? Because his hands are finally starting to shake, the weight of his actions hitting all at once and dragging him to the bottom of the ocean floor. 

But this, 

Fox looks down at the stack of datapads on his desk. The room is dark, the desk lamp unplugged and on the ground. There are no windows. The air is stuffy and stagnant; he wonders if they are cleaning the vents again. 

The top datapad lights up when he lifts it. The halo of blue illuminates his immediate area. The helmet sitting at the corner looks purple, the visor staring back at him like a void. Every time he blinks, it burns from somewhere behind his eyes. Fox doesn’t remember the last time he truly slept. (Before the ARC trooper, before Scipio —) 

It’s a mission summary report, written hastily enough for there to be a few typos. It’s short, barely a few paragraphs long, and his eyes glide over the words without retaining anything. His focus is on the attached list of updated statuses.

It’s all red. Red Red Red Red.

He thinks these types of missions are even worse than the ones where he doesn’t have control. 

 Red Red Red.

These missions should not end like this. They go prepared, they go with their best. 

Red Red Red.

So why do they end like this?

Red Red Red —

Green. 

The stack of datapads shift slightly, and the desk trembles as a shadow settles on the edge.

“If it breaks, I’m stealing your desk.” He pinches the bridge of his nose hard, and the throbbing ebbs away into something dull. 

“Does that mean you’ll do my datawork too?” Thorn’s voice is light and teasing, but something’s off. He leans forward to pick up the helmet and the blue lights up his face. His eyes are tired, but the crinkling around the edges always betray his mirth. There’s no crinkling there right now; Thorn just looks exhausted. His hands turn the helmet around, fingers tracing over the painted wings on the temples. 

“I’ll do it for Scipio.” Fox blurts out, and the fingers pause. 

“You don’t have to.” 

“I do,” Fox doesn’t know why he does, but there’s something pressing in the back of his brain, telling him that he shouldn’t let Thorn do it, “you should get some rest. Remedy would kick your sheb if he finds out you came here instead of to medbay.” 

“Well, you don’t have to snitch.” Thorn sniffs and Fox shakes his head with a scoff. He picks up the stylus to start going over the report in detail.

A gloved hand lands on the corner of the datapad, and Fox looks up. Thorn’s eyes reflect the blue glow, flickering to read the upside-down words. 

“Hawk found me.” Thorn whispers.

Fox remembers the pilot during one of the 501st’s shore leaves. Thorn’s batchmate is slightly more serious than Thorn himself, but they share the same air of wild freedom, unable to be tied down. He remembers them taking off their helmets with matching grins, showing him their twin emblazoned wings. 

“How’d he look?”

“Horrified. Scared.” Thorn’s laugh is humorless, “I thought he was going to kill me himself if I wasn’t a—.....it wasn’t pretty, Fox.” he swallows hard, “there wasn’t much we could do.” 

“...You went with less than two platoons. None of us were expecting the level of activity you got.” 

The hand pulls back, leather creaking under the pressure of a clenched fist, “I lost them all, ori’vod.” 

“But you’re here.” Fox places his own hand over Thorn’s. Everything feels cold, “I...it’s not your fault.” 

“I think if any fingers are to be pointed, it would be towards the commanding officer during the mission, Fox. Which would be me.” 

“You weren’t supposed to be the one leading Scipio.” Fox snarls and the aftermath of his outburst echoes through the room. He takes a shuddering breath.

“I was.”

“Fox…”

The air gets stuck in his lungs, and he kneads his palms into his eyes hard enough to see sparks behind the lids. 

Scipio was supposed to be his mission. But he was—still is, a complete and utter wreck. After the incident with the ARC trooper, he hadn’t had a chance to stop. It became a blur of meetings. With the Chancellor, with Skywalker, with Rex, with his Guard. All with little variation. Everyone just wanted to know, what happened?  

And Fox didn’t have a good answer for any of them.  

He’s so tired.

And Thorn had found him in his office then, just as he did now. He had found Fox sitting at his desk with the stylus in a death grip, staring at plans and contingencies. Found him running on fumes that not even caf could fix at that point. Found Fox in his arms immediately to steady him when he stood and started careening to the side. 

I fucked up, Thorn. I fucked up so bad. 

I’ll go to Scipio. We’ll talk more when I get back, alright? Please get some rest, ori’vod. Please.

And Fox had agreed. Because he was tired.

Tired of seeing the ARC trooper’s bone-white armor out of the corner of his eye every time he started to slip. Tired of the Chancellor’s oily praise for a job well done in killing a vod for the Republic. Tired of Skywalker’s needling curiosity. Tired of Rex not blaming him. Tired of everyone telling him, it’s—

“Fox, it’s not your fault.” Thorn’s words from before the mission mesh with the words that Thorn’s repeating right now. 

“Well, who’s is it then?” Fox snaps, slamming his palms back down on the desk. His vision blurs with random patterns from the prolonged darkness, and Thorn’s image swims in front of him. He had gotten about an hour of unconsciousness before his comm beeped with urgent matters from the Chancellor. He’s been on his feet ever since. 

He should’ve just stole some stims and gone to Scipio. 

“Why aren’t you all angry?” He continues, the plastic of the datapad strains under his grip, “not you, not Stone, not Thire. Not—” He stutters, “not Rex. None of you are, and I don’t understand .” 

“Why do you want us to be, Fox?” 

He falters, heart stuck in his throat. It beats erratically and his stomach turns. 

If they’re mad, there’s something to work with. He can apologize (even if it means absolutely nothing). Amends can be made (how. You fucking bastard, how?) He can fix it. He has to fix it. 

How?

“You want us to be angry because you’re angry with yourself.” Thorn sets his helmet down, leaning forward to study Fox with dark eyes that see through his very core. 

His lips curl upwards.

“Oh, ori’vod. You want us to forgive you.” 

There are tears in Thorn’s eyes. (Or are they his own?) 

Thorn’s forehead presses against his, and Fox presses back with a sobbing exhale. 

“You already have it. We’re not the ones you’re looking for forgiveness from.” 

 A strand of long hair slips from Thorn’s ponytail and brushes against his cheek. It hits Fox with a sudden urge for how things used to be. Back when the war had only just started, and they were all shiny and thought things would get better. Back when he had enough time and energy to sit in the command lounge and braid Thorn’s hair clumsily. 

Hound’s better at this than I am, you know.

Mmm, yeah but I want my ori’vod to braid my hair.

Spoiled little kih’vod. 

“I thought I lost you.” He manages between hitched keening breaths ( when had he started to break down? Just now? Months ago? Two years ago?) 

“I’m never gone, ori’vod.” Thorn hums, reaching up to squeeze the back of his neck. It’s so cold, “Just marching—” 

Far away. 

The door to his office opens, and Fox jumps back. 

“...You alright, Fox?” Stone stands at the entrance, a datapad in his hand. 

Fox blinks, glancing down at the one in his own hands.

The list of troopers stares back, every name in red.

The Separatist Blockade was successfully broken through. Senator Padmé Amidala was safely extracted from Scipio under the command of Jedi General Anakin Skywalker and the 501st Legion. 

No other Republic survivors were extracted. Recovery efforts have been approved and engaged. 

 — CT-4991 (Hawk) 

“Fox?” 

“...What is it?” 

“The recovery mission on Scipio just returned. We’re heading to the crematorium right now.” Stone shifts on his feet, “you coming?” 

“...Yeah.” Fox reaches for the helmet on his desk, red and black without any wings. His eyes feel crusty and swollen. At this point, he has no idea if they’re even open and seeing the right things anymore. 

He’s so tired.

Fox slips the helmet on and stands. The world spins, and he bites his tongue hard enough to taste blood. He walks towards Stone. 

“You sure you’re alright? I could have Thire take the next shift. He’s—” Stone’s breath hitches, “he’s up for promotion now anyway.” 

“I’ll be fine,” Fox says as he passes his Second, stepping out into the hallway.

He’ll be fine.

/

<3

[ao3]  if you wish to drop a kudo/comment :) 

[writer-panda]

Hit on the groom and what became of it - chapter 1/I will keep missing you (if you don’t stop running)

Disclaimer: I don’t own DC or Miraculous. I’m just playing with some crazy concept. 

Chapter 1 (here)  -|-  Next

-------------

Ladybug landed on top of the Eiffel tower with practiced grace. An agitated worry roiling in her chest about the message Chat Noir left her. The urgency was one thing, but he sounded… pained. Like the weight of the world dragged him down type pain. 

Marinette knew Chat’s home life wasn’t perfect. Skilled at hiding it, maybe, but details leaked through the cracks. An offhand comment here, a muttered accusation there, a sour face yet again here. He lived in pain and tried so hard to work through it. 

She tried to help him whenever she could, both as Ladybug and Marinette. She may not return his feelings, but she always listened. For months during their third year as heroes, she left food on the rooftop when Chat’s suit revealed too many ribs. She wasn’t sure the reason and didn’t dare to ask, lest she learned too much, but she did try to help. There were times she thought she imagined the pained looks, and thin frame, and thinly veiled comments; maybe overexaggerating the situation in her mind, as she often did. After all, he always acted so cheerfully.

Then, Lila happened. 

The first strike landed swift, almost deadly, but she survived. It was what followed that made her reconsider. A prolonged fight, where Marinette chose to retain a cheerful mask to hide the pain. Along the line, she considered confiding in her parents. But what could they do?  Maybe take her from school, but that would mean Lila already won; the Liar would rule unopposed.

Which left Adrien, her last bastion of friendship. 

She still harbored a bit of a crush on him, but it was justified! Like a knight in shining armor, he stood, always ready to defend her. He always ensured her inclusion in class activities and saved her from several catastrophes. 

She still stumbled over her words with him, but when it’s minor stuttering or not talking to anyone, she forced herself to adapt. It was nowhere near as bad as it used to be. 

With the ability to spend more time with Adrien without acting like a spaz, Kagami also appeared more often, and proved to be a good friend. Marinette found a home with the two awkward rich kids ridiculously clueless and unaware of how the real world functioned. In the end, she even grew to accept Adrien might not be destined to be hers but chose to support him nonetheless. 

“My lady?” She was broken out of her musing by a familiar voice.

“Hello, Kitty-cat. I got your message… what’s wrong?” She turned to see Cat Noir slumped over the railing, with his ears tweaking nervously. She didn’t even know he could do it. 

“I… I’m sorry my Lady, but I can’t… I can’t continue to be your partner,” he declared.

“What?!” she squeaked. “What happened? What’s the matter?” 

“I’m… I’m getting married,” he announced, his ears drooping and tail tucked between his legs.  

Oh, that’s… not what she expected to hear. “Married? Congrat…” she drifted off, noticing his sour face. “Chat? What are you not telling me?”

“It’s… I… My…” He struggled to figure out how to say it, but ultimately remained silent for a moment. “There is nothing to be happy about. It’s a… business marriage,” he spat, his eyes narrowing.  

“But… those are illegal!” Ladybug protested.

“Not when you make it look like a love match. Especially if you insinuate at a scandal.” He sneered, jumping off the railing and pacing along the empty rooftop. “My father holds all the cards and I… I’m in no position to oppose him.”

“I’m sure we can…”

He sighed, walking over to her. “Please… M’lady. Don’t try to give me hope. I accepted what I must do.” With that, he reached for the ring, but she stopped him.

“Chat. We can try… You’re my friend. You can’t… We will figure it out. Together.” In all they’d endured, suffered, and triumphed - Marinette had never seen him this despondent… this broken. 

He sighed, his eyes flat and dull. “There is nothing to figure out,” he said, forcing the ring off his finger. 

The transformation fell, leaving Adrien Agreste materialized in place of her long-time partner. Plagg’s sharp cry cut off, as he’s sucked into the ring the second he popped out of it. She stood there, too stunned to notice the blond boy pushed the ring into her palm and closed it. 

Marinette wasn’t sure what thoughts decided to rampantly rage through her head, but the train of thoughts probably broke the collective speed limit everywhere in the world at the same time. 

“M’lady?” Adrien’s soft voice brought her to earth when she was one step from panic.

“A-Adrien?” She choked on the word.

“You heard about me?” He looked dumbfounded. Ladybug, too shocked to say a word, gestured over to the building line. Even from so high and far away, his most recent billboard advertisement stood visible. “Ah… right.”

“Who… who’s the lucky girl?” Inside her mind, she wondered if Kagami right now faced a  similar problem. It was the most logical…

“Lila Rossi,” Adrien admitted, his shoulders hunching. 

Marinette.exe stopped working. 

A moment passed.

Another.

“Um… M’Lady?” The boy tried to prod his ex-partner to respond by waving his hand in front of her face.

“That… that lying…” Ladybug saw red. This could not be happening.

Adrien nodded, the despondent look on his face growing worse every second.“My father deemed her a suitable heiress to the Gabriel brand… I tried to warn him she was a liar, but he… I think he actually admires her skill…” Tears built in his eyes, and Adrien covertly tried to wipe them away. 

“Maybe… maybe you could… I don’t know!” she screamed in frustration. Marinette had several ideas about what Adrien could do, but none of them would help. 

Running away would be a problem. Leaking the story to the press would lead to his home life growing even worse. After dealing with Gabriel Agreste’s parenting, she held no illusion Adrien could win a court battle. The rich too often got away with whatever they desired. She could try to sicc Uncle Jagged on the case… or maybe Clara Nightingale… Nadia Chamack would probably love the news-breaking story, but it would all put Adrien in danger. Who knows what would happen before they could obtain results or protection against Gabriel’s extensive reach. 

Adrien sighed as if knowing exactly where her thoughts took her. Chat was no dummy, he probably scoured over his options more times than he could count. His resignation, the last resort in a long line of failed plans.  “I appreciate you trying, but I already told you I accepted it. Just… take me down, please. I… I didn’t really plan the location well…” He let out a weak chuckle. 

“Fine… I’m sorry kitty...” She grabbed hold of him and swung to the ground. Despondently she watched her best friend, her partner, walk away into the night; resigned to a life of suffering and isolation. 

There must be something she could do, she thought. She closed a gloved fist around the ring. She was Ladybug, and if she put her mind to it, there was nothing she couldn't do.  

-----------

A week later the press learned about the upcoming wedding. Adrien and Lila both left school for home-school. The press and the general public ate up the news story about star-crossed lovers that met in school and became inseparable. It didn’t help that the class kept commenting about how good they were for each other. 

Marinette resisted an urge to gag whenever she caught the sound of the vicious lies and propaganda.  She was asked for comment only once but chose to refuse. It didn’t earn her any popularity in class. Luckily, she convinced Nadia to stop a nasty side-story about her jealousy from being published. 

No closer to a plan, she despondently continued to push through her life without her friend. She, unsurprisingly, hadn’t received a single text or call. Marinette didn’t blame Adrien; his position couldn’t be easy. A month after Adrien departed from her class, Marinette convinced her parents to also home-school her. Without a single friend, the school became a burden. Of course, her reasoning to her parents leaned into her focus on her fashion business. Which wasn’t untrue. It was starting to pick up. 

The only upside to this whole debacle was near-lack of akuma attacks. It seemed Hawkmoth found a hobby. Maybe he wrote poems? 

Nah. Not his style...

Two months after the announcement  Marinette woke to surprise guests: Adrien, his father, and Lila knocked on the bakery’s doors. The bride-to-be in an especially sour mood, as much as she tried to hide it. Gabriel appeared to be devoid of any emotions, as usual.

She seated them on the couch and asked if they would like a drink. She didn’t bother to offer food, not wanting to waste good cake on the likes of Lila and Gabriel. Although, Adrien’s thin cheeks and haunted eyes made her regret the decision. 

All of them declined the drink.

“Madame Marinette, I assume you have heard of the Wedding?” The capitalization clearly discernible in his voice. 

“Yes… Yes sir!” she corrected herself. Trying desperately to mask her disgust behind a layer of nervousness. She couldn’t risk a glance at Adrien, even if this was the first time she’d seen him since that night on the roof. Making it through the meeting would be hard enough without watching him suffer.  

“While initially, I planned to prepare the dress and suit myself, my son convinced me to give a chance to someone else to shine.” Clearly, whatever it was Adrien said, it didn’t include a polite request. “I have seen the dress you made for Rock Star Jagged Stone’s wedding, as well as the suit worn by Nadia Chamack.”

“They are designs I’m particularly proud of, sir.” 

Play the part. Play the part. Don’t send him to the hospital. Papa and Maman would be disappointed. Well, Maman would probably join me… 

Her homicidal train of thought ended as she forced a smile to appear on her face. Contrary to Lila’s stretched thin lips;  Marinette’s smile shines bright and could’ve been mistaken for genuine.

“Indeed… I’ve come to commission you to design and make the gown and the suit for the sweet couple.” He announced like it was the highest honor, but there was an amount of bile in his words Marinette used to think was reserved only for Nino.

“I… I’m… I’m honored, sir!” She beamed. The excitement only half-forced. Her moral compass told her even entertaining the proposal was wrong, but at the same time, her brain furiously flitted crafting possibilities. 

Gabriel nodded imperiously as if her acceptance merely added to a foregone conclusion. “Good. My assistant, Nathalie, will sort out the details. Lex Luthor agreed to pay for the pieces as his wedding gift, so do not be afraid to ask for full price.” He informed her t as if he believed she would give him a discount. 

For a moment, a singular reckless moment, Marinette entertained the temptation to voice her thoughts about Gabriel being cheap. 

She sighed, no, there would be another day for career suicide. The group rose to leave, and Marinette finally glanced at Adrien; his model-trained smile paper-thin. He caught her eyes, and if he radiated sadness two months ago, it didn’t hold a candle to the devastation swimming in his eyes. The exchange broke when Lila gripped a hand tight around his arm and dragged him to the door. 

Gabriel handed her a card, and the group departed. Marinette collapsed onto the couch, the makings of a headache building in her skull. 

This would be awful.  

------------

A week later Marinette held a separate meeting, consisting of Nathalie, Lila, Lila’s mother, and Adrien’s aunt. And her, obviously. 

She first asked what kind of dress Lila wanted.

Lila’s eyes lit up in an unholy glee; and she started talking. 

And talking. 

And talking. 

And talking. 

After the long and painstakingly thorough description, Marinette felt faint. Several reasons contributed to that, although the most prominent were the materials, the design, and the way she spoke. Obviously Lila had feelings, the kind likely to trigger an oncoming Auma attack if Hawkmoth hadn’t pranced off to who knows where, about Marinette designing her dress. 

Marinette was happy Adrien’s aunt pointed out the request’s complete madness, but Lila’s mother waved it off, quick to declare only minor adjustments to the request would be needed. 

In the end, Marinette presented several dozen designs, both hers and foreign to have a basis on which she could work. Lila, of course, chose the one that would be hardest to make.

“I’m sorry none of your designs were good, Marinette…” The liar cooed with faked sorrow. She hid a smirk the designer could clearly see. 

The notion was born because it was a picture and not a sketch. 

Marinette smirked, and rose from the couch, ignoring Lila’s irritated scowl at her non-reaction.  

She liked it even less when the girl brought in the ready-made dress. 

“I made it as the first design for Penny Rolling’s wedding, based on Uncle Jagged’s suggestions. I should’ve known Penny didn’t approve of his idea, but…” she waved it off.

Lila, now actively glaring at her, sat back on the couch. All of which was mistaken for amazement by the adults.

Marinette ignored the girl’s dramatics, it was the only way she’d survive this meeting intact. “Of course, there still needs to be several adjustments and personalizations. I will also need to order the amber you requested. And the platinum thread. And the white gold. And probably an industrial-grade 3-D printer… Is that covered by the expenses?” She looked at Nathalie, who nodded. “Great! I will need just a moment.” 

The women watched as Marinette practically leaped at her notebook and added in adjustments to the sketch. Fifteen minutes later, when she presented a new design, impressing them all (sans Lila, obviously) with the flowing lines and intricate details. They praised her talent (even Natalie), and Marinette played the bashful young designer role to a tee. The liar kept glaring though. She couldn’t back away easily, since she already made a scene about wanting that specific dress. Marinette informed them beforehand she would need to know about her specific wishes before she made any adjustments. 

The final design looked pretty much exactly what Lila wanted though, but she didn’t want to give her nemesis the satisfaction. Her entourage did enough of this. 

Under the cover of being too emotional, they ended the meeting. Nathalie remained to finish the deal and sign the contract. 

After all of them left, Marinette collapsed onto her chair. An hour later a notification from her bank came. She received the first half of the payment. When finished, the dress would officially be the most expensive wedding dress to date. Blessed be Lex Luthor and his deep pocket. She chuckled, remembering how much the billionaire got kidnapped because of his money.

Then, an idea shined in her head.

Oh. 

Oh...

She took off her earrings and dismissed Tikki, promising she needed a quick chat with Plagg about a new potential holder. When Marinette put on the ring, the Kwami of destruction popped back into existence. 

“So… figured out how to help my chosen?” he asked. 

What Tikki didn’t know was when Marinette said she intended to discuss potential holders for Plagg, they really worked on a way to save Adrien. It was their secret since Tikki would most likely disapprove. They didn’t want to risk her disappointment in them. Not until they crafted a fleshed out full-proof plan. 

She nodded. “I have an idea. Let’s hire someone to kidnap him!” 

Plagg rolled his eyes. “Did they hit you on the head, pigtails?”

“No. But look, the problem is whatever we come up with, Adrien ends up blamed or we land ourselves in jail, right?” The Kwami nodded. “So… if we make sure it’s a very public kidnapping and he disappears, we can stash him away until the heat dies down. After we dye his hair and apply fast-tan, he will look different enough no one will connect the two. I’m pretty sure I could get my hands on fake documents if I tried hard enough…” she trailed off thinking of all the minutiae to coordinate to pull this off. 

It would be hard. 

But it would be worth it. 

Plagg slowly nods. “Okay… Somehow, that both makes no sense and seems perfectly legitimate. It’s also your most chaotic plan to date, Pigtails. Let’s do it!” The Kwami cheered, happy to be soon reunited with his chosen kitten. “But what about the costs!”

Marinette already had an answer in mind for that question. “Even after I subtract the costs of materials and other supplies, the payment for the dress, together with my savings, will be more than enough. Now… let’s go wake Tikki up.”

That… ended with the Kwami of Creation vomiting a pile of handcuffs and other police gear at Marinette. 

“Um… Why?”

The little red Kwammi placed her paws on her hips. “Because you should familiarize yourself with those if you plan on going to prison for that plan. It’s no longer just a phone theft, Marinette! You’re talking about breaking more laws than I can count!” She dropped to the pillow below, bemoaning about where she went wrong. 

Marinette scooped up her wayward friend and tried to reassure her. “I just need to be careful. I’m pretty sure I can do it without detection. Maman taught me how to not be seen on the internet. Or in general. Come on. I need to order a secure laptop.”

“I will help!” Plagg offered. “I can cataclysm the internet after you do your thing.”

“What?! No! Think of the cute cat pictures!” Marinette protested. “And video games.” 

“Relax! It’ll just remove any trace of you doing anything online in the several hours or so…” He calmed her.

Tikki trailed after them, a bundle of nerves and worry. “Plagg! It’s irresponsible! You can’t possibly…”

“Pigtails and I have it all under control. What’s the worst that could happen?”

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Turns out, a lot. 

Before Marinette put out the hit (kidnapping, she made sure that it was plain as day), she needed to set a price. That one was harder. It wasn’t like you could Google how much you needed to charge to kidnap a celebrity. At least, not without attracting a lot of unwanted attention. 

She asked her mother, under the guise of pure curiosity. It was a normal question any teenage girl asked her mother. How much does it cost to have someone killed, how much cheaper/more expensive a kidnapping is, how to acquire fake documents, that kind of stuff. Not suspicious at all. 

So absorbed in her rant, she missed a merry glint in Sabine’s eyes. She also didn’t question how her Maman knew those prices. 

Finally, she needed to fill the form. 

Assignment: Acquisition and Delivery

Asset(s): Adrien Athanase Agreste

Value: 

Here, Marinette paused. 

Her mom gave her a lengthy lecture about pricing and all. According to her, a professional would take up to fifty thousand dollars for kidnapping and bringing the target to her. Marinette decided, since Adrien was a celebrity, she should double the price. More risks involved, more reward, right? 

But, she also wanted to ensure she hired the best of the best. Compare her work to Gabriel Agreste’s, she came to the conclusion ten times the price was reasonable to ensure only the best in the field would take the job. 

Then, there was the matter of safety and so on and so on. By the end, she settled on two million dollars, as her asking price for one Adrien Agreste. Plagg sagely nodded, agreeing with her assessment. Tikki didn’t comment, as she wasn’t speaking to the two, but also seemed more accepting after spying on Adrien and Lila’s home life. Not that she revealed that tidbit to either of them, lest they drop the plan and directly go at Gabe and the Liar. 

After a few more details and boxes in the form Marinette filled until she came to the end. Only one more detail remained: 

Sponsor:

Marinette stared at the word for a moment. After a quick race of thoughts, she typed slowly. 

Sponsor: The Seamstress

Perfect. Nothing about this could go wrong.

Of course, how could she predict just how big of a mess she would make? 

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