#(which is. already bullshit btw don't get me started)

[wesleytreehouse]

*makes tea*

*sits down at desk*

*puts on study music*

*reaches for notes*

brain: remember that one time in Trigun --

[angel-sweets666]

stuck together

Barbarian bakugo x princess! Reader

Your parents arranged you to the brash and rude prince of the barbarians to save their own skin. CHAPTER TWO HERE

warnings and stuff inside of the story: talks of virginity, talks of a virginity check (its accurate to the time period ok?) a/n should I make this a series? I think it’d be fun but idk ur rich btw so just like there’s rich stuff.

THE FULL VERSION IS OUTTT, truely ask and you shall receive. Anyways this is the full edited and lengthened part one I hope it’s better then the sneak peak I gave you guys

AGED UP

Mitsuki leaned back, her piercing gaze fixed on your parents. "So, what do you say? You give us your daughter, and we'll form an alliance," she proposed, pausing for their response. "It would offer protection from the Todoroki kingdom Flamoria, no?" The blonde woman smiled at your father, trying to sway him.

Flamoria had a habit of attacking your home kingdom, however in recent years the bakugos have managed to not only defeat the todorokis but make their kingdom subservient to them.

Your mother hesitated. "I mean, I dunno…"

"We'll do it," he interrupted, cutting off your mother.

"Huh?!" Your mother turned to him, shock evident on her face.

"Perfect. Sign here," Mitsuki said smoothly, handing them a piece of paper which already had both mitsuki and masarus names written down. It was a betrothal agreement, arranging the marriage between you and her hot-tempered son, Bakugo.

Your father reached for the pen, the gravity of the situation pressing down on him. "This will secure our safety and ensure a powerful ally," he murmured, almost convincing himself as much as anyone else.

"But our daughter…" your mother started, her voice filled with concern and disbelief. She looked at Mitsuki, then back at your father, torn between the political necessity and the love for her child.

"We don't have a choice," your father replied firmly, signing the paper. "This alliance is crucial for our kingdom's survival. The Empyrean empire is strong.”

Mitsuki's smile widened as she took the signed document. "Excellent. You won't regret this. Bakugo will make a fine husband, many heirs will come from this, she is a virgin right?” The blonde asks “we can get her checked for it, *name* was very sheltered growing up so we can assure you she’s a virgin.” Your father explains, leaning back in his own squeaky wooden chair. His gaze turns to your mother, who seems distraught about marrying off her child to the barbarian prince. Someone famous for being a violent person.

at 17 years old bakugo had brought back the head of a powerful tribe leader and put it on a stick for everyone to see, at 18 years old he had gathered a small army of men and defeated the midoriya kingdom and had a bloody cloak from the one of the dead soilders to prove it. Then at 20 years old bakugo had forced izuku, the Feywood king to surrender his crown. Which put feywood in the empyrean empire. No one knows where izuku midoriya currently is, all the people know is that he was last scene getting dragged by his green locks by bakugo and was never seen again.

Later on

“YOU ARRANGED ME TO WHO!?” You screamed, staring at your parents in complete horror. How could they do this to you? You make one wrong move and your own husband would order your death! “Look it’s not so bad..” “NOT SO BAD? HES KILLED HUNDREDS! THOUSANDS EVEN” “He won’t kill you though!” Your father exclaimed, An attempt to calm you. “Look, bakugo may seem like a man killing war machine of a prince but his parents assured us that he’s very gentle with women.” You scoffed, leaning your weight to one hip “bullshit. He’s gonna kill me. Brutally, he’s gonna hack off my head just you watch”

Over the next few weeks, you tried everything to call off the arrangement. You attempted to run away before the virginity check, faked illness, and came up elaborate excuses. Nothing seemed to work. Your parents were stubborn, insisting that you marry Katsuki Bakugo for the strength of their own kingdom.

Lying in bed, you tossed and turned, unable to escape the looming dread of marrying the great, scary barbarian prince, soon to be barbarian king. What if he rips your head off just because you refuse to give him a kiss? The thought made your heart race with fear.

Suddenly, a knock on the door snapped you out of your spiraling thoughts. A maid entered, her eyes gloomy with pity . "Your Highness? Tomorrow we will wake you early to help you begin packing for the travel to the Empyrean Kingdom," she said softly, her voice trembling as she tried to avoid any kind of trouble.

You groaned and turned your head toward her. "When am I being sent to them?" you asked

"U-uh, most likely the day after tomorrow," the maid stammered, clearly uneasy with your distress.

You sighed deeply, feeling the weight of your impending fate settle even heavier on your shoulders. "I see… thank you," you muttered.

You looked back at the red headed maid “How far is the journey?” You asked her softly, she fidgeted with her fingers “a-about two days, they live f-far from our kingdom your highness” she stammered. You smiled to the red head and dismissed her.

As she left you stared at the ceiling, your mind racing. The thought of being married off to someone you had never met, someone with a terrifying reputation, filled you with a sense of dread and hopelessness. Your parents decision felt like a betrayal, a sacrifice of your happiness for the supposed greater good of the kingdom

You stood in the corner of your large room, watching as numerous servants took gowns, corsets, shoes, and other clothing items, placing them into bags. "U-uh, don’t barbarians wear less formal clothes? Shouldn’t I bring less?" you asked the maids. All of them turned to look at you, a hint of surprise on their faces.

"Her Highness makes a point," the same red-headed maid from the night before whispered to an older maid. The older maid, seemingly more experienced, turned toward you with a thoughtful expression.

"You're right, Your Royal Highness. They would probably end up burning these clothes or turning them into barbarian-styled garments," she conceded.

You sighed, your shoulders dropping in resignation. "What do barbarian women wear?" you asked the older maid, hoping for some clarity.

"Hm… flowy skirts, I’ve seen a few wear headdresses," she replied, as some of the gowns were hung back up in the closet. The maids began to sift through your belongings, selecting items that might be more appropriate for your new life.

As you watched the process, you couldn’t help but glance out the window. Your mother and father were walking in the garden, deep in conversation. They seemed so in love, so perfectly matched, yet they were throwing you into a marriage that promised nothing but misery. The contrast between their happiness and your dread was almost unbearable.

"Your Highness, we’ll pack lighter, more practical clothing for your journey," the older maid reassured.

"Thank you," you murmured, though your heart wasn't in it. The thought of being dressed in unfamiliar clothes, adapting to an unknown culture, and being wed to a man you feared only added to your anxiety.

As the servants continued their work, you wandered over to your bed, sinking down onto the edge. The weight of your impending departure pressed down on you, making it hard to breathe. You had grown up surrounded by luxury and love, and now you were being sent away, to marry probably the most violent man you’ve ever heard of

Tears welled up in your eyes as you thought about the future that awaited you. Would you ever find happiness in the Empyrean Kingdom? Would Katsuki Bakugo, the fierce and terrifying prince, ever come to care for you, or would you be nothing more than a means to an end?

"Your Highness, is there anything else you would like us to pack?" one of the younger maids asked, her voice gentle.

You shook your head, wiping away a stray tear. "No, just… make sure to leave out a few comfortable things for me to wear until we leave."

"Of course, Your Highness," she replied, her expression sympathetic.

As the maids continued their preparations, you lay back on your bed, staring up at the white ceiling. You tried to find comfort in the familiar surroundings, knowing that soon you would be leaving them behind.

"So, what's the barbarian kingdom like?" you asked, looking over to the maids. The older maid once again turned her head to look at you.

"Most of the people live in either big wooden houses with all sorts of weapons around or in these hut-like tent things. Either way, they have all these symbols painted on them," she described, clearly having been to the Empyrean Kingdom before.

"And what about the Bakugos? Where do they live? You asked

"They live in a stone castle with intricate paintings on it, and there's a lot of security. The last time I was there, they had spikes on the bridge leading to the castle, with people's heads mounted on them," the old maid replied,

"How long ago were you there?" you asked, feeling a chill run down your spine at the gruesome detail.

"When the young prince was about fifteen, so around five years ago," she said, placing one last corset into a bag.

You glanced at the six bags of items packed for your journey, feeling a mix of relief and trepidation. It was a smaller amount than you had anticipated, yet it seemed to signify the end of one life and the beginning of another.

"Did you meet the prince?" you asked, trying to glean any information that might help you understand the man you were to marry.

"Briefly," she replied, her expression softening. "He was intense, even as a teenager. Always training, always pushing himself. But there was a sadness in his eyes, a loneliness."

You sighed, trying to reconcile the image of the fierce, terrifying prince with the glimpses of vulnerability the maid described. "And the people there? How are they?"

"Fierce, proud, and loyal," the older maid said. "They value strength above all else, but they also have a deep sense of honor and community. If you earn their respect, they'll defend you with their lives."

The more you learned, the more daunting your future seemed. Yet, there was a strange comfort in knowing that the barbarian kingdom, despite its harsh exterior, had its own codes and values.

As the maids continued their work, you tried to imagine what life in the Empyrean Kingdom would be like

"Is there anything else I should know?" you asked, your voice softer, almost hesitant.

The older maid paused, considering your question. "Just remember, Your Highness, that if you respect them and they’ll respect you."

Her words resonated with you, giving you a small but vital sense of empowerment. You nodded “alright, seems easy enough..”

The day that you needed to travel to the empyrean kingdom came, your parents watched you walk to the carriage by the gate as your mother sobbed into your fathers chest.

The ride to the Empyrean Kingdom was grueling. As the carriage rattled over uneven roads, you gazed out the window, the lush greenery of your homeland gradually giving way to the rugged, bushy but covered in tall trees landscape of the barbarian territory. The closer you got, the more your anxiety grew, each kilometre bringing you closer to the empyrean land

When you finally arrived at the castle, you were struck by its threatening look. The stone walls were decorated with weird red painted symbols, and the spiked bridge, as described by the maid, loomed menacingly ahead. Your heart pounded as you stepped out of the carriage, taking in the harsh surroundings.

A group of stern-faced and very attractive guards escorted you inside. The castle's interior was as intimidating as its exterior—dimly lit, with weapons and trophies of past battles displayed prominently on the walls. You felt a shiver run down your spine as you were led through the cold halls. You swore that if you listened close enough you could hear peoples screams in the dungeons below. Fuck was this hell with its 7 rings?

Finally, you were brought to a large chamber where a tall, muscular figure stood with his back to you. His spiky blonde hair was unmistakable. He was busy looking at a sheet of paper, the one oddly similar to the ones your parents shown you when they first announced your betrothal to bakugo. As he slowly turned to face you, his piercing red eyes locked onto yours with an intensity that made you want to look away. He looked almost angry at you, furious even. Which was confusing because you’ve known this man for a whole 10 seconds

he was tall and about 6ft with messy blonde hair, scars all over his body and face, and piercings on his ears and lip.

"So, you're the princess they sent," Katsuki said, his voice dripping with disdain. He crossed his arms over his broad chest, his expression one of barely concealed annoyance. Katsuki had a deep voice that you couldn’t tell if you found attractive or if you wanted to run away and hide.

You straightened your back, meeting his gaze with as much confidence as you could muster. "I am," you replied, trying to keep your voice steady but it ended up sounding shaky.

Bakugo scoffed, looking you up and down as if to check if you were just a weak small baby or strong enough to be a wife and a queen “Great. Another weakling to babysit," he muttered under his breath.

Anger formed within you at his dismissive attitude. "I am not a weakling," you snapped. "And I am certainly not here to be babysat."

He raised an eyebrow, clearly unimpressed. "We'll see about that," he said, turning away from you. "Follow me. There's no point in wasting time."

You clenched your fists, biting back a come back to insult him with as you followed him through the castle. Every step echoed in the vast, cold corridors. His steps much louder then yours due to his much larger frame

Bakugo led you to a large hall where a group of people—presumably his advisors and some of the castle staff—were gathered. He introduced you curtly, barely sparing you a glance as he did so. The looks you received ranged from curiosity to outright hostility, they clearly didn’t want you here. Just like the old maid back had home had warned, these people hated the weak.

After the introductions, Bakugo dismissed everyone, including you. "You'll be shown to your chambers. Don't get in my way or else," he said, theblonde clearly trying to end the conversation between you two before he could get sucked into some conversation he didn’t waht

You followed a servant to your chambers, a mix of anger and sadness within you. The room was surprisingly comfortable, a stark contrast to the rest of the castle, but it did little to lift your spirits. You sat on the edge of the bed, feeling the weight of your new reality settle over you.

Over the next few days, you tried to find your place in the castle. The people were distant and wary, their lack of trust clear in their every interaction with you. And Bakugo… he was even worse than most . He ignored you most of the time, and when he did speak to you, it was with a cold, dismissive tone that made your blood boil. He always had a tone of sass, trying to get under your skin constantly.

as the days grew closer and closer to your wedding date he seemed to just get more and more annoying, constantly having some tone of sass. Never wanting to talk to you and constantly flirting with your maids, you even went the effort to fire atleast 4 of them to keep their grotty hands to themselves.

“you done firing my staff now?” Bakugo grumbled as he caught up with you in the stone candle lit halls “your staff? You mean my staff? My staff who you seem to love flirting with” you corrected him, looking over your shoulder at him. The blonde furrowed his eyebrows and scoffed “I pay for them there for their my staff.” He growled, asking faster in an attempt to intimate you “actually, your parents pay for the staff.” “Hah?” “Your parent pay for the staff so their not your staff, their the palaces staff.” You said ignorantly as you played with the lace of your dress. “You gonna get out of that frill fest you call a gown?” He asked, again trying to insult you “if I do I’m gonna shove it up your ass” “excuse me?”

“Want me to say it slower? I—WILL—SHOVE—MY—GOW”

“OKAY OKAY SHUT UP WOMAN” he growled at you and walked off in spite “THATS WHAT WHAT I THOUGHT. THATS WHAT I THOUGHT.” You angrily yelled back to him, which in real aspect you were yelling at the back of his ignorant head. You huffed and stormed away in the opposite direction as you wanted nothing more then to get away from that man. As you stomped down the halls, footsteps echoing with each step; you heard a male voice call out to you

“Princess.”

you looked over, a certain brown haired man similar looking to katsuki stared back at you. It was king Masaru “I was looking for you” he says, walking towards you. You quickly curtsied to the king “About what?” You asked “we have a wedding date for you and my son” he smiled warmly as if this was a good thing “o-oh.. and when may that be..?” Your eyebrows furrowed with frustration “a month from now, they will date you to get your gown fitted this week” he seemed overly happy about something neither you or his temperamental son wanted.

“Will I wear a wedding dress from my country or your country?” You asked softly, trying to keep your cool “uh.. our country.” He informed you “I’d rather wear my own wedding gown though, your majesty” “well.. you belong to our kingdom now. We can give you a dress that’s a mix of the two if you’d rather” he compromised, trying to keep with both your and his kingdom. Letting out a sigh your shoulders dropped “I suppose that be okay…” a look of mild disappointment on your face “wonderful, I’m glad we could come to a compromise” he smiled and walked off, an electric blonde guard following close behind him who you earlier learned his name was kaminari. The blonde goofily smiled to you, he seemed like a character. The two men walked off as they chatted, rolling your eyes you too began to walk in the direction of your bedroom chambers.

you couldn’t sleep that night, you tried changing your nightgown, exercising, reading a book, meditating, everything! nothing would help you sleep this night, you wondered if it was the weird interaction with king Masaru or the fact your own fiance was when you think about it was cheating on you with your own staff members. you slowly slid out of bed and out of your silk sheets, rubbing your face up and down with your hands with frustration. Looking down at your feet you sighed, looking out of the window. the night sky was so peaceful unlike your mind which was running with less the pleasant thoughts. How could you get Katsuki to like you? or at least tolerate you in some way so he wouldn't be the most annoying little shit.

The creak of the door hinges squeaks as you pushed the heavy wooden door open, wincing at the high pitch noise. Slowly but quietly gou walked towards the chambers of your future husband. As you approached the door you hear two voices come from the inside

“you’ll need to learn to cherish and care for her eventually”

“why would I do that?” “She is your fiancé! Your future wife! Future mother of your heirs!”

“you except me to fuck her too? Shit.”

“Yes obviously! Your gonna need heirs for our kingdom!”

“fine. Before or after this whole wedding?”

“well In her kingdom, you two do that on the wedding night but to be honest I don’t really care when you do her”

“Too easy”

safe to say your whole face was pink, with either anger or arousal but you couldn’t tell

Tag list!

@sagejin @teeesthings @hiimsaraandyou

@peachysuguru @luvgumii

@v3n7s @iangeeluv

[tinycurlyfry]

Can you help me to understand why Sakura is so nervous here to ask for his favourite food? Does this has root in his childhood?

Yeah! I can give my insight on it at least! So this scene happens immediately after Sakura's talk with Kaji and Umemiya. During which, they drove home that everyone at Furin doesn't conditionally love Sakura because of his fighting ability or that they think he's going to be this strong, unshakeable captain. They love Sakura because of *who* he is. Which is a very hard thing for Sakura to understand because he doesn't feel like he knows himself very well. Up until this point he really did think the only thing about himself that was of value was his physical strength/fighting ability. (We're going to get this scene next week too btw ;;v;; I'm going to sob at this coming episode I swear)

It's not specifically about asking for Omurice that is making Sakura so nervous I don't think, but what happened in the scene leading up to him saying what food he wants. Sakura made this big apology/announcement to class 1-1 that he's sorry that he is a failure of a captain and he is probably going to screw up in the future trying to lead and protect them. He calls himself weak again, and says he's just going to be a disappointment to them. In response to which, his classmates affectionately/angrily attack him and everyone expresses in their own ways that they're insulted Sakura would think their care for him is so conditional.

Insulted that Sakura assumes they expect Sakura to be this perfect leader and that they don't already know that he's just starting out learning how to look out for others and be a good leader. Yes, just as Kaji told him already, they KNOW he doesn't know what he's doing. They KNOW he's going to make dumb mistakes and "Be a lameass" (Anzai ily, you're so fucking funny). They KNOW he's navigating unknown territory and he's scared. But all the same, does Sakura really think they're the kind of people who would just reject him immediately after a single mistake? Does he think they don't love him for how hard he's TRYING to do good, for how hard he wants to fight for them and to protect the same things that are important to them as well? That they would think less of him because he freaked out when he saw them getting hurt, and then was beating himself so much over the fact that he "let them" get hurt???

Well, clearly that means he doesn't understand them at all, and that needs to be amended immediately. So how do people in Wind Breaker go about connecting to each other, and solidifying their status as a family/community? THEY GO OUT AND GET A MEAL TOGETHER!!! (to bring it back to my food is community theme post on my WBK blog~)

(Again, Anzai Ily so so much gjsdkflg) But yeah! Basically they all start arguing about where to eat after school when they ask Sakura to be the person to decide for them. He's nervous partially because he's still processing everything that they've been saying to him this scene, but also because expressing what HE wants (to eat) and HIS preferences is the first step of putting himself out there for them. It's not a fact about him that's related to his strength or fighting ability or ability to lead, it's just what his favorite food is. And that, in a way, is a first step towards letting them get to know who he really is. As Suo had just said-

(Which, Also, YEAH OKAY *SUO*, how about taking some of your own advice and opening up to the class about yourself too??? He literally tries to bullshit his answers to their classmates when asked at Pothos what he's scared of most and Nirei has to call Suo's ass out.) But anyways! Yeah, the tension of the scene is finally released because Class 1-1 is more than happy to agree to go to Pothos for Omurice/fried onigiri etc and Sakura had had to build up a LOT of courage to talk to them so honestly and vulnerably. They're moving on as if nothing has changed between them BECAUSE nothing has changed and they now just know that they have to take a little more direct of an approach to assure Sakura that he is allowed to make mistakes and be himself and they will never reject him or even think less of him for it.

[purrpleowl]

I don't know if anyone has mentioned something like this already, but this thought has been on my mind for quite some time;

You know who I wanted to see having a duet with Alastor (song battle style)? Velvette.

Hear me out.

There's something similar between the two songs Alastor interrupts, Stayed Gone and Hell's Greatest Dad, especially when it comes to the duality between Alastor's part and the other person's part. Something that I admit I didn't notice at first, but I saw some people commenting on.

Let's talk about Stayed Gone first: all Vox has to say is that Alastor is old and Vox is new. He uses different words every time (fossil, barely audible, his medium is getting rare...), but that's his only argument. While Alastor attacks right into Vox's insecurities. He says that Vox's content is low quality and inconsistent, he belittles Vox's power, and pokes at the wound that was Alastor refusing to "join Vox's team" (whatever that means, not important for my point here).

In Hell's Greatest Dad, Lucifer talks about how he can be useful to Charlie. How he can give her Champagne fountains & caviar mountains without charging her. Alastor focuses on how his relationship to Charlie is (supposedly) very close. He says he's faithful to her, that he makes her laugh, that they have a special bond... Which is what Charlie values most.

ALL THAT TO SAY that Alastor is very good at reading the room, figuring out what people are on about. Now, what other demon we see that has showed to have those same skills and has used them to her advantage in the show? That's right, Velvette.

With a SINGLE glance, she was able to identify that Carmilla was the one that killed the exorcist because of her facial expressions and body language. And then she proceeded to poke Carmilla and Zestial until one of them snapped.

Also, just like I bet Alastor definitely doesn't believe a single word he's saying to Charlie in Hell's Greatest Dad, he just wanted to get under Lucifer's skin while manipulating Charlie, I highly doubt Velvette was serious about starting an actual war with the angels. She (and the Voys too, probably) had a suspicion that it had been an overlord who did it, and she went and tested the theory.

I just think it would be great to finally see someone publicly call Alastor out on all of his bullshit, and Velvette is (in my opinion, of course) a very good character for the role. Besides being very perceptive and good at reading into people's bullshit (she also does that with Vox when she is introduced btw).

She likes to annoy old people, she probably has some background on Al that Vox possibly provided her while lacking the insecurities that Vox has when it comes to Alastor.

It would be very satisfying (to me at least) to see her call him a coward in his face (because he fled Adam's fight when he got injured), or that he might hate Vox but he definitely loooves the attention because he's an attention whore (bonus points if she uses this specific term just to make him uncomfortable). Or even that he's trying so hard to keep this "ominous mysterious dangerous" persona while he's 1- not that powerful, 2- starting to get emotionally attached to the "good guys".

ALSO "you'd be powerless without the Vees" sir you can't convince me that 3 very powerful overlords can't beat 1 up. The Vees are powerful on their own but they're more powerful together and Vox's insecurities aside, they all know it. Alastor is alone, he might be friends with Rosie or the Hotel crew, but his pride wouldn't allow him to seek help in battle, or even emotional help.

Also 2.0 there's the fact that he's been gone for 7 years and while Velvette (and us) might have no idea what he's been up to, I bet the Vees have been growing and expanding their power while Alastor is the same since he left.

So yeah, I think she'd be so great on roasting Alastor. I don't know if I'll ever have a song battle between them but I sure think it would be interesting.

[pyjamaart]

Every time someone complains about Fully Charged Airmans design, my love for him grows even stronger.

I feel like most people are mad that he isn't blue. Like back in 2014 when people complained that Sonics arms were blue in Sonic Boom. But I honestly don't think it's that big of a deal.

But if you see Fully Charged as an alternate universe to the classic series (which it is), then I don't really get why you'd have to complain about Airman not being blue. I think it's good they tried something fresh with the robot masters. They didn't have that much personality in the classic series, to be honest, compared to Fully Charged. I just think he needed a little more screen time to focus on his character. Just like many other robot masters on this show.

Okay, I have to admit, I did change around his colors a bit for a joke that would have gone along the lines of "Just hire fans, lol", but it actually ended up looking pretty cool, so I can't really make that joke anymore……. Really shot myself in the foot with that one. Anyway, here's blue Airman:

I still think that an episode featuring an air race would have been really really cool. They could have introduced a robot master like Gyroman as his rival. Maybe losing that race could have been the start of his character arc where he finally confronts his inferiority/superiority complex. Along the lines of "Flying is all I have left! If I can't have that, what else am I supposed to do?" Well, now that we're already in headcanon territory, I might as well tell you about all my other ones involving Airman. I believe his family is suuuuper rich. All his siblings have well respected careers and probably make his parents buckets of money. Meanwhile Airman is like the youngest sibling who dreamed of becoming a professional racer, which his parents didn't support at all. Kinda reminds me of another robot master under Lord Obsidians command whose dreams were crushed by his parents......

And as we've seen in that one episode, Airmans siblings are assholes. They just pretend he doesn't exist, like he never belonged to their family at all. Like they're ashamed that he's such a failure.

Oh damn that got dark again, sorry. But just like Drillman, he gets better in the end. While Drillman gets Woodman to look out for him, I've had the headcanon for a while that Airman gets taken in by Blastowoman, since she's also a flying robot master like him. Maybe she even gets him a job as a cargo bot alongside herself. I feel like he really needs someone supportive who's not afraid to call him out on his bullshit in his life. And because I have another headcanon that Blastowoman actually has an adult child (Blastman, lol), she's like the perfect woman for the job. ;)

Coming back to Airmans design, I did change some things about it for this particular piece of fan art. When I was trying to come up with an awesome pose to draw him in, the first thought I had was "Damn, I gotta give this man some heels." And that's exactly what I drew.

Sorry for not posting anything for 2 months btw. I got addicted to Metaphor ReFantazio ;) If that doesn't become game of the year, I'm gonna be real mad.

Jenny out.

[carniekisses]

Here's a long post that I really hope Tumblr will not flag as NSFW (please don't flag this), I remember back when I showed off the needlefelt Gomer sculpture I had made, someone asked if I had like a work process to show off for it. And I did not, because I had kept it all confined to a private account. I thought it'd be fun to have something to show for it for this one.

So I've been wanting to make a BJD for at least the past 15 years, back when I was a kid with no money to buy supplies with and also with a worry for symmetry, and also also I wasn't very skilled. It's 2024, and I vaguely know how to use Blender now

I've started this project on April 6th, as I've been documenting this on the above mentioned private account.

Of said model I (much) later ended up only being able to salvage the physical sculpts of the chest and torso parts as I messed up somewhat badly, see down below. I also ended up dropping the 'magnets in hands & feet' concept as it was just redundant, one can simply unhook them off the elastic if they are to swap them out.

At any rate, I 3D printed it all and got to sanding, and painting.

So far so good I guess, really not a fan of how the knee and elbow bean slots were just holes (I fixed that later don't worry)

So This was Not looking good lmao. I used acrylic paint, which was not necessarily the problem, the problem was that I'd applied it with a sponge brush which caused the surface to feel really sandpapery once dry. So don't do that I suppose, bad idea

On top of this, I realized that given the thickness of this doll I absolutely needed double joints in the legs, in order to have decent articulation. You can see in the above pics I *had* sculpted those, but I later fused the knee beans with the shins with apoxy resin, for some reason? I think it was because as I posed the legs the knee beans kept falling *into* the hollowed out shins/thighs, and I got tired of it.

The final blows for this model were me applying some 3D finish resin in a last ditch effort to smooth out the horrible texture, which rendered the pieces extremely shiny and smooth (disgusting), WHICH then prompted me to apply matte varnish to fix that bullshit. It absolutely did not work lmfao, and I have no pictures of that disaster because I became pretty discouraged about having to go back to like square two or three.

Some time passed (months really because I kept getting distracted for many a reason [sanding is so fucking boring, Blender was a mistake, I was feeling overwhelmed, I was too sad/tired to work that day, etc.]), I buckled down and finally retooled the pieces that needed it: everything But the chest and torso parts, off of which I managed to sand the varnish and smooth resin. I had fixed all the double joints too to actually be decently functional this time. The head was completely resculpted to better reflect the character's latest design iteration.

bean slots: Fixed

So after sanding (which was the part I was dreading the entire time, because it's so tedious and also it hurts after a while), I caved and got myself an airbrush to, hopefully, lay paint down good this time.

Very glad I did because the difference is kinda crazy. Please ignore my dirty ass desk, it's what happens when you craft. These pictures are from last week btw.

The blue base and the blush were airsprayed, the finer details like the dark shading and the pinker parts were done with both chalk and just acrylic paint. I miiight remake the eyeballs, or at least add more of a smooth finish. The shine to them is really nice

Here's she with lashes, wearing a shitty little scrap of fabric I cut in 10 minutes for fun (please DON'T flag th), and posing to test out the double joints too, they definitely could be better but they work Fine and I'm okay with that.

As of today I'm waiting for the fibres to deliver, for the wig, I already have the cap done. I guess I can update this when it happens, thanks for reading so far, I hope it was interesting, see you next time.......

[ceasarslegion]

I have not heard (or don't remember) the tiered DNI story I am begging you to share

So there was this girl in our half life roleplay group of sideblogs who had a DNI list the length of manhattan with two separate tiers: what she termed "yellow flags" and "red flags."

According to this list, if you met 3 "yellow flags," you weren't allowed to interact. If you met 1 "red flag," you weren't allowed to interact.

Already... a lot. I wasn't really friends with her, she was just in the roleplayers discord server at the same time as me and I called her out on her bullshit a few times. Because she was the type of autistic adult who used her autism as an excuse to self-infantilize and act like the world had to hand her everything with no effort made of her own to get better with certain things. She once claimed her parents were abusive for... making her wait in line for a new phone. Another time, her parents were abusive for... not charging HER switch so that she could sit outside of her sibling's music recital and play video games. Worth noting that she didn't even try to sit in, she just assumed she couldn't, threw a fit when her parents asked her to like, try to go, and then sat outside the doors and complained to us that her parents were abusive for not charging HER switch before they left.

She was a grown-ass adult too btw. She was also super sex-negative, like she asked for the role to go into the nsfw channel and then complained that there was sex in it. And then we were like "WHAT DID YOU THINK THERE WOULD BE???" and she was like "i just wanted it for the sex jokes but you guys are being horny degenerates in here >:((." One time i put in the vent channel that i smashed a giant spider and sent a photo of how big it was in and then she started vagueing about me IN THE SAME SERVER saying that I was a piece of shit ableist for giving her a panic attack on purpose. Never once did she communicate that spiders triggered her, she just wanted me to read her mind about it and then claim that i did it on purpose.

More related to the DNI, she once voiced that she was glad to see that harry potter was on the banned book shelf at the book store and i had to explain in simple words that banning books still isn't good when it's harry potter. She didn't really understand until i said that the reason HP gets banned is because of evangelical satanic panic types complaining about "black magic," and not because of any of JKR's actions. Which implies to me at least that she has an acceptable standard of when it's okay to ban certain media. Worth noting that she was a massive FNAF fan so, rules for thee but not for me ass person.

She pissed me off a LOT as an autistic adult who does a lot of work to affirm to people that we are not children and can handle big kid topics and don't need our hands held and are our own independent beings. Like girl you are setting us back years

So her DNI list... left something to be desired. It seemed that most of it was just based on vibes rather than any sort of material reality. If you were a Beastars fan it was a red flag, but if you were a republican it was a yellow flag. If you read certain books or liked certain shows it was a red flag, if you followed a certain blog it was a red flag, but if you straight up voted conservative you got 2 more strikes until she would block you. Girl what the fuck are you talking about

You may notice I have a beastars icon. I would talk about beastars openly in the server in front of her knowing it was on her "DNFI" list anyway because ma'am, it's a fucking furry anime, it's not going to bite you. She never said anything to me because she was, in reality, a bit of a coward who talked a big game on the internet but when it came to actually putting the bite behind all her barking, she would send strongly worded emails to people in her own house about some side comment they made that she was annoyed by instead of confronting them about it (real example btw, thats how she interacted with her own father after he told her that random strangers twitter threads are not reliable sources no matter who they claimed to be online)

She also started calling herself a sex-repulsed ace after a good long while of straight-up sex negative shaming of others for engaging in sex in the dedicated sex channel that no one was forced to go into. This gave all of us, including the aces of the server, big red flags. I felt weird about saying I didn't believe her out loud as a non-ace, so I asked my sex-repulsed ace best friend and she told me "no that's bullshit, she's just an evangelical. Sex-repulsion is your own preference, not what you project onto what other people do."

The crazy thing is, she wasn't even huge drama compared to what else went on in that server in the early days before the worst people blew up and left. She was like a b-plot we barely noticed compared to Hickory and Caroline, who I will actually give the aliases of because they are no longer active on tumblr, and the person I'm talking about is. If you want those stories too, you can ask, but I might take a few days to get back to you again lmao

[asce-of-hearts]

Oh my!! Can I request 🌳 + 🍃 with that bully hawks that you posted. I think it really fits him! (love your writing btw! <3)

Mine to keep

contents: Yandere!Bully!Hawks with prompts: 🌳 Please stop crying, I did this for your own safety. + 🍃 You’re stuck with me forever, whether you like it or not. (gn!reader)

more Hawks content here

WARNINGS: KIDNAPPING, THREATHENING AND MANIPULATION, DOMESTIC VIOLENCE, COLLEGE!AU, HAWKS IS A POS, I HAVEN'T WRITTEN IN SO LONG PLEASE FORGIVE ME, YANDERE, OBSESSIVE AND POSSESSIVE BEHAVIOR, UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIP DYNAMICS, BREEDING KINK AND BABY TRAPPING MENTIONS.

 — What the fuck do you mean you want to leave?  — he asks with clear annoyance, he seems bothered by your petition.

 — You really expected me to stay here forever? I don't even like you that much.

 — I expected you to at least be grateful for what I did for you, you stupid slut.  — he spits  — You're not going to fucking leave until I want you to, which is going to be in a long, long time, dearest.

You stare at him with cold eyes, and he meets your eyes with his fiery gaze. You try not to break down crying in front of him. You already had to endure his constant abuse at college, but now in his own house? Seemed like a punishment for something bad you did in a past life.

He stands up, tall and menacing. Like a predator in front of a small mouse, now you kinda understand the nickname given to him. Using all of your strength not to fall to your knees your avert your gaze, turning your head around not to face him. He grabs your jaw, forcing you to look at him in the eye. The utter force of his hand is enough to finally break you, crying as you try to free yourself. He smiles softly.

 — You’re stuck with me forever, whether you like it or not. — his statement is blunt and direct. Stuck with him, forever. Seems like a long, long time to you.

— What is your plan exactly to keep me trapped here with you? I can always go to a friend and tell them you have me here kidnapped.

— And who is going to believe you, sweetheart? Do you even have friends? You have nothing, absolutely nothing without me. That's why you're going to stay here with me, because I'm all you have and all you need. — he smirks, god, how you hate that stupid fucking smirk — I will continue to have you here all for myself until I get tired of your bullshit and decide to dispose of you. Unless, well, you stop being such a nuisance and comply with me. You're smart, right? Well, time to show it to me. Start behaving.

He is commanding, has he always been like this? You feel like submitting, maybe its a primitive part of your brain responding to fear. Still, feels pathetic to be crying like a small child being scolded in front of him, specially in front of him. He must be feeling powerful, special, like the king of the world to have you trembling in his arms with such ease.

— 'M gonna make sure you're completely mine. Hell, I'll make sure you'll never be able to escape me no matter how hard you try. You know how? This cute tummy of yours would look even cuter with my baby inside. Even if you didn't want it I'll make sure to fill you up nicely every night until you give me a baby. Our baby. Wouldn't that be lovely, dork? — he nuzzles your neck and smiles, pressing a kiss against your shoulder as he hugs you from behind. You only cry even more. — Oh, there, there. Please stop crying, I did this for your own safety. Would you rather be back home with daddy hittin' you for being such a crybaby slut? Or here with me?

feels like the plot has gotten darker everytime I write abt this stupid bully au lmao.

hope you enjoyed it!!

have a great day/night.

TAGGING: @jessicainhell @pasteldaze @duchessofhell  @rosemary108233 @yukimutsu @repostingmyfavs @artist-in-training-wheels @mod-kyoko @rina-404 @eroscastle @fan4mha @goldenglow149 @hbk99450

Like my works? Join the TAG LIST!    (please write your @ correctly or else the tag won't work)

[thedyingwriter]

somethings that i needed to get out regarding today's episode:

9-1-1 live airs in the US around 7 am Friday in my country and i get to watch it at 10:30 am on disney hotstar.

I couldn't wait so i was awake all night and was literally on twt since 6:30 am to get some clips.

that's where i find out that bucktommy break up.

i have been devastated all day. i have cried multiple times and i have literally lost count atp. it hurts like an actual breakup and i have absolutely no one irl to share this grief with.

the Abby being the ex-fiance wasn't even a major issue. i have been seen it done so well in so many fics.

Josh's speech was so beautiful and important but then to pull a breakup like that makes no fucking sense.

after what we saw in 8x5 breaking them made absolutely zero sense.

i was too overwhelmed so i tried to sleep and actually watched the entire episode around 11 am. I wanted to keep and open mind and analyse the episode.

twt is literally so toxic rn. I'm not even opening it.

after watching the entire episode i was even more confused as the breakup made zero sense.

we have had 8 seasons of character growth for buck, if they end up making him go back to casual relationships it just feels a complete wastage of 8 seasons of growth.

and from what we've seen in the past episodes the breakup was completely uncharacteristic to both buck and tommy.

it made no sense. why would tommy put so much effort if he knew it wouldn't last.

him constantly showing up for evan and talking about family just made zero sense for him to break up like that.

also it kinda felt weird to bring moving in together before saying i love yous.

and the way he said "the parking spot was too good to be true". this breakup doesn't feel good at all. he was obviously in pain and so was buck. this isn't doing any of them any good.

utter bullshit.

plus the "I'll see you around buck" broke me. like why the fuck would you do that to me and to buck.

it felt like someone put fucking alcohol all over a stab wound and then rubbed salt all over it.

LOW BLOW.

now coming to the post ep interviews which btw made it worse.

i was still under the impression that the way the breakup happened there was still hope for reconciliation because remember even tarlos went through breakups.

but then lou confirmed he might not be back and that this is it. specially that buck line. UGH.

and that #letbuckfuck interview with oliver really triggered me. I'm a bisexual woman and the reason i really loved buck's discovery of his sexuality was bcs Oliver was very determined in Givin a good bi rep.

but this doesn't feel that way. he could have said that he wants to see buck explore his sexuality more with both men and woman but the whole "girl, girl, guy. guy, girl, guy" montage was a very disturbing image.

it feels very stereotypical and biphobic.

it just hurts me so much. idk why i expected so much from a network tv show who has been queerbating for years.

i am gonna be watching this season just to see how they salvage buck's relationship and sexuality. it feels incomplete.

but if it goes in the buck 1.0 direction that's it for me.

i watch 911 as an escape from reality and if it goes so bad i am not continuing with the show.

it has already tested my limits and mental health enough.

also i need to point out that there are a lot of people who enjoy watching sports a lot more than they enjoy playing it. buck is a watcher. he would have loved seeing the Lakers match. just bcs he doesn't like to play doesn't mean he hates basketball.

a little extra side notes-

really excited for another buckley han kid. hope they don't ruin it. want to see how they deal with ppd this time.

also happy for eddie and really hoping he gets chris back soon.

ya'll need to understand how platonic friendship buddie is also so important rn then them getting together bcs eddie is def not ready to date.

if he starts dating he'll feel super guilty for putting his desire above chris all over again.

ALSO FOR PEOPLE IN THE BACK- EDMUNDO DIAZ IS CANON STRAIGHT.

[creative-kny-fics]

Hi! If request are open, 21 trio? Lee!giyuu and ler!sanemi and obanai? U don’t have to btw!

When they call them trio 21 it reminds me of a meme I saw in which Sanemi and Obanai said: Being hashiras made us friends, but hating Tomioka made us brothers KAHSLSHSLSHS 😭 well, let's change that 👌🏼

Lee: Giyuu Tomioka

Lers: Sanemi Shinazugawa and Iguro Obanai

Sanemi and Obanai didn't understand one thing, how was it possible that Shinobu, despite being rejected countless times, still tried to be Giyuu's friend?

'That idiot... He thinks he's better than everyone... I HATE HIM!'

If Sanemi and Obanai were together, they only did one thing: Roast Giyuu. It would be no exception on that occasion.

'Come on Tomioka-San! Let's be friends! I know you want to~!'

Shinobu received no response, she wasn't angry, but she felt 'disappointed'. 'Ooooh, so I need to "get your attention", hmm~?'

This did catch Giyuu's attention, starting to walk away slowly, only for after a few steps, Shinobu jumped, hugging him by the neck and squeezing his ribs. 'Wait... What is Kocho doing...?'

'I hope she's trying to choke him or bend his neck.', both of their eyes widened when they heard a male laugh, it wasn't either of them, that means... 'Ko-Kohocho...!! O-Okahahay!! Sohohorry...!!', after that, Giyuu and Shinobu walked away, now "talking".

Sanemi and Obanai saw each other, pinched themselves, shook their heads, even slapped each other. 'Did you just see... The same thing I just saw...?'

'Did Giyuu Tomioka just laugh...?'

Their confusion was evident, Giyuu never spoke and now, suddenly, he just laughed? They both saw each other, gave each other a knowing look, if Shinobu had gotten Tomioka to talk just for a few tickles, they would both make his 'I'm not like you' behavior disappear once and for all.

And of course, also the opportunity to 'humiliate' him and get some revenge, for what? For nothing really, Sanemi and Obanai simply want to teach him a lesson.

'There it is... What do you think we do? Should we push him to the ground or should I hold him tight while you tickle him?'

'I wanted to humiliate him in front of people, but I guess it will be difficult to get him off his estate. Let's do this, we put him on the ground and I climb on his arms and you on his hips,' Sanemi nodded before realizing that Obanai had practically stated his plan in other words.

Then there would be time to complain to him, Obanai had already gone ahead and was now banging hard on the door of Giyuu's estate.

'Who-? Oh, Obanai, how are you...? Shinazugawa...? What are you two doing here...?', neither of them visited him and the only visit they gave him was only to push him to the ground and close the door.

Just as they had planned, they laid him down and sat on his arms and legs, thinking that Giyuu would move, would start begging that they didn't do it, that they let him free, but he didn't do anything.

They both looked upset, was he trying to show them that he was better than them by not being ticklish? Not at all, he didn't believe they were capable of doing that, he was shocked. 'Why are you doing this...?'

'Why? Well, you're fucking shameless... That's why you always do your "I'm not like you" bullshit. Now what are you going to say about it?'

Giyuu frowned, were they seriously doing this? For a moment he thought they were joking or that he was dreaming, but no... 'Fuck you,' was his response.

Sanemi didn't look upset, he looked happy, as if I had given him one more reason to carry out his purpose. 'With pleasure...~'

'...If you're going to do gay things, please let me know and Kaburamaru and I will back off...'

Okay, that did make Sanemi angry and he knew what he would do after destroying the 'Giyuu's pride'

'Kanzaburo, when you came to my window, you seemed worried and wanted me to come running to Tomioka-San's farm, but... Why? I don't understand, is he okay?!'

Kanzaburo shook his head, worrying her more and forcing her to quicken her pace.

She expected to find Giyuu with some injury or perhaps dazed but what she found was... 'WHEHEHEN AHAREHE YOHOU AHAHAHA GOHOHOING T-TO STOHOHOP?!' I HAHAHAVE NEHEHEVEHER TIHICKLEHEHED YOHOHOHOU!! PLEHAHAHASEHEHE!! STOHOHOHOP THIHIS!!'

'Hah, what's wrong Tomioka? Where is your cold person behavior? Was it just a facade?!' 'You should see yourself... You squirm like a worm and you can't even utter a single word without laughing out loud!'

How bad was Giyuu? Enough to have some tears threatening to come if Sanemi and Obanai continued tickling him like there was no tomorrow.

'Ehem!', Shinobu cleared her throat, drawing both of their attention and being a signal to stop.

They didn't expect anyone to arrive, I mean, they both thought that no one visited Giyuu, but apparently they did. 'What? We haven't done anything wrong, we're not breaking any rules!'

'What he said! What's happening? You did it before and no one judged you, so don't look at us that way!'

Shinobu approached them and pulled their ears, they were expecting a long talk, but...

'You've done it all wrong! Giyuu doesn't need to be tickled so hard! A gentle touch will make him laugh... Isn't that right Tomioka-San~?', Giyuu laughed nervously as he watched Shinobu approach.

Maybe after this, he would finally talk a little more or stop having that cold face.

[otherone12]

Oh, Baby... You're Mine (part 2)

Vampire!Gerard Way × Reader

-> Masterlist

A/N: Hey!! Here is the second part of "Oh, Baby... You're Mine". It took me a little longer to finish (and even longer to find a photo where he was 'scary' and not cute), but I hope you like it :) Btw, a new Frank x Reader is comming soon...

if u didn't read, here's the part1

Summary: You wake up after your transformation, distraught and desperate for more answers. Gerard wasn't rude, but he was far from nice, you argue with him... he didn't like it at all.

- Word Count: 1.830

- Warnings: She/her pronouns. dom/sub dinamic, pet names, Kidnap, blood kink! AFAB SMUT! (probably a bit cringe, sorry)

> DEAD DOVE!!!! < IF YOU DON'T LIKE THIS KIND OF CONTENT, DON'T READ!!!! YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR THE CONTENT YOU CONSUME.

- Ps: I'll not use y/n…

- Ps2: Sorry for the smut, i'm not used to write this, i'm still learning already. (:

- Ps3: I'm brazilian, so english is not my first language... sorry if i wrote something wrong.

___________________________________________

1st Person POV

Gradually, I was awake again, but only long enough to feel a terrible pain in my head. Like some kind of fever, I was seized by a dizziness that wouldn't let me open my eyes. The atmosphere around me was heavy and intense, the air coming from my deepest breaths burning my lungs with excruciating pain. 

I was lying down, my body slightly tilted, feeling the velvet fabric that covered me from shoulder to toe. My head rested on something I thought was a pillow, but I soon realized that it was moving in sync with my breathing. 

I dared to open my eyes, hoping somehow to be reassured that it had all been a dream, or a fantasy that I had unconsciously nurtured in the depths of my mind. But all those hopes were dashed as soon as I saw the familiar pale face framed by messy black hair.

That pillow was actually Gerard’s chest. Before long, I felt his hands, which now didn't seem as cold as before, caress my shoulder under the blanket.

- Looks like someone is awake - He said, kindly, looking down at my face. Eye contact was impossible by that position, but I felt his gaze over me. - How’d you feel, princess?

I didn’t respond, just closed my eyes again, squeezing them and wishing nothing had happened. Didn’t work. Only the sound of the rain outside filled the room. 

- Well… - His cold voice broke the silence, he took a deep breath and with some anger in his voice, he continued - when you want to stop this childish bullshit and talk properly, I’m right here.

I wanted to ask him what happened, ask him how much time I spent there with him and be sure if my family was safe. Without lifting a finger, I swallowed hard and started to talk.

- Am I a-

He has this urge to be the one talking, is kinda hot, actually, but i get mad with this too. 

- Vampire?- Seriously, Gerard said, while playing with my hair. -Yes, you are. 

I already imagined it, but hearing him say it makes things even more real. I pretended not to mind his fingers in my hair as I spoke, because in a way it kind of comforted me. 

- So, now I'm immortal? - My voice still didn't come out right, so my sentences sounded like a whisper - I’m gonna have to drink people’s blood?! 

- Actually, we’re gonna drink cow’s blood, we don’t need people. - he chuckled, and spoke with genuine joy - And about immortality, yes, we’re gonna live together forever, isn’t that amazing, hun? 

Even now my blood is cold, I'm sure it bubbled when I realized that he didn't need to screw with my life, he did it for mere selfish pleasure.

- If you don’t needed people’s blood, why the fuck you thought i’ll be nice to bite me?!

He stopped carrinsing me, breathing deeply and, like a growl, he said:

- You better calm the fuck down. - My body shook when he changed the sharp way to talk in a sweet tone - I already told you, princess. We love each other. If I didn’t bite you, you would get old and die, and I would be forced to live without you. 

- You were living normally without me.

I murmured. The way he changes from threatening to loving confuses me. I didn't know if I was afraid of him or if I just gave in at once. Maybe that's his charm after all. I'm aware of the manipulation, but instead of worrying, maybe it's easier to just let him have me. No. He's already ruined my life, I can't give in so easily.

- But when I saw you, darling, I knew that I was just existing, not living. 

No one has ever told me something like that before, maybe he really loves me, maybe deep inside of me, I love him back, I just don’t see it clearly now. 

- So what? I’m gonna have to get used to you?

- Basically. - The disgusting pride on his voice just got me mad - Don’t worry, you have all the time in the world to do this.

In the second he stopped to talk, before he could pet my head with this hand, which was moving to it again, I sat, getting off Gerard's arms. I held the blanket to cover my breasts. Anyway, he looked at me from top to bottom, with a fucking grin on his face.

It hurts me to admit it, but damn, his teeth are so arousal.

 - Y’know, you don’t need to get all shy from me. - he rolled his eyes, getting up and sitting  - You’re so gorgeous… all mine and-

- Can you just shut the fuck up for a minute?! - I gathered courage mixed with the anger I was feeling at that moment and interrupted him with a scream. Making him completely change his glance. - You kidnaped me, raped me, bit me or whatever the fuck did you done. I will NEVER be yours!

Although it would have been wonderful to get it all off my chest, my regret came so quickly as he approached. His gaze darkened and a chill ran down my spine when his hand went up to my chin and held it steady, making me look at him.

- Let's see about that, darling.   

I froze. the fear that I had managed to abandon for a moment returned, and I was, once again, in a situation of hopelessness. Gerard kissed my lips roughly, I tried to deflect, but his hands held my face, forcing me to remain kissing him. He climbed on me still with his tongue in my mouth, his sharp fangs pierced my lips, and now I'm tasting my own blood again. But it was different than the last time, something changed, maybe because I'm not human anymore.

- Maybe turning you into a vampire wasn’t enough for you, baby. - Again, he was kneeled around my waist. - Maybe I need to show you how to behave… then you’ll admit that you belong to me.

- I’m s-sorry, I didn't meant to-

He cut me off with a slap. To be honest, it didn't hurt, but the way it shut me up for him was humiliating. His sinism in caressing my face with such delicacy after hitting me was something so low, but at the same time it made me feel attracted to him.

- I’m sorry, sugar, I tried to be nice. - He was almost whispering, I couldn't tell if he was being kind, sarcastic, dominant, or threatening. - I really did, but you didn’t listen… 

Quicker than I could absorb, he got out of bed, leaving me there, alone, lying naked. I was already expecting the worst, knowing he wouldn't let this go. I barely heard his footsteps walking away and I took a second look around the room, trying to take my mind off the fact that he was making me horny by waiting for whatever he had in mind.

I heard Gerard getting closer, followed by the harsh sound of his voice.

- Well, let's have some fun, princess.

The weight of his body on mine warmed me, but some metal pierced my neck. I knew that was a knife, cutting a line on my throat, a slit that Gerard admired with a certain pride. 

He licked the tip of the knife provocatively, probably wondering where he would hit next.

With the cut on my neck, it was difficult to breathe without drowning in my own blood, he realized, and his smile made it clear that the weaker I appeared the more powerful he felt, and consequently the more control over me he had.

Unable to speak, my reactions were limited to small moans, which mixed pain and pleasure in a way that made the situation even more pleasant for Gerard.

It's not as if he was going to kill me, because that would have been impossible, but I could still feel every sensation of the knife piercing my skin as he stood over me with his lips almost pressed to mine, whispering in it with a low voice:

- We’re just beginning, baby. 

Was hard to hear his voice, because I was so dizzy from the pain. Stunned, I barely had time to breathe, and soon I felt another cut, this time even lower. The blade slammed into my abdomen and my senses were cut off by the tearing pain that gripped my body. 

Faster, he took off the knife, letting it drop on the wooden floor, and held my torso firmly, as he followed the trail of blood with his tongue, getting down and down, meeting my clit. 

A loud moan escapes from my mouth, and I grip the sheets trying to hold myself on while he is eating me.

He kissed my thigh, running his hands on my body. Somehow, he got up on me again, pulling down his boxers and preparing himself to fuck me. 

Gerard opened my legs and thrusted inside of me pushing himself against me. With every movement he did the pain was disappearing,being replaced by remnants of carefree, every second lasted really long, and I was getting close to my orgasm.

- Don't you dare cumming without my permission! - not surprisingly, he noticed my state, so he said dominantly - Beg.

Having no time to think and putting my pride aside, I started to beg, but not too much, just enough to make him feel in control. 

- Please, Sir.

He kept the same rough and velocity. I hoped it was enough for him to let me get to my climax, but his growl was followed by what I feared.

- You can do better than that.

- Please I beg you, Sir! - I felt tears rolling down my cheek, desperate to not do it without permission - Let me come, please!

- You're so adorable… - He chuckled, enjoying every moment, while I tried my best to hold me back, not wanting a new punishment -  do it one more time.

- Please, Sir. I can't hold it anymore.

- Cum for me, darling.

I did. I felt my body tremble, taking me to a completely different state of feelings. How is it possible for him to make me feel this way? I can’t say if I want more or if I want to get out of there.  

- Good girl. 

The praise made me feel so good, but he hadn't stopped yet. Kissing my neck, he was going deeper inside of me, making me scream.

- Now, I'm gonna fill you up.

In a few moments I felt the liquid inside my body, dripping down my cunt and mixing with my cum. He grunted and squeezed my hips. Part of me was completely surrendered, but the other did not want to succumb to Gerard's wishes. 

-G-gee…

- Shh… let's clean you up, sugar.

He moved my hair from my face and kissed my sweat forehead, caressing my face. 

Fuck… I think I'm falling for him.

___________________________________________

~That's it! Hope u liked :)

PART 3!

[isa-ghost]

Phil and bagi hcs?

YOU HAVE JUST ENABLED A MONSTER.

I AM SO ABNORMAL ABOUT THESE TWO.

Also these will apply to AMFMN!! Because SURPRISE, if no one has checked the fic tags, her name is listed as a main character. ;) She'll be arriving in Chapter 6!! :D

I cannot fucking WAIT to expand upon their dynamic, which is funny because by the time Bagi shows up, Phil is possessed so it won't be exploration through direct interactions until the recovery period waaay later in the fic. Nonetheless it'll be hype! :D

qPhil headcanons masterlist

Phil is a member of the "Bagi can do whatever she wants forever" club. He supports her rights and wrongs and fully believes she could kick his ass no matter how unbalanced of a fight it'd be in his favor (disclaimer I don't actually know Bagi's exact pvp skill level 🤔)

Bagi is a member of the "God I want Phil to take me on a flight some day, I am so sad his wings are fucked up" club. (She would probably be terrified /pos)

I don't know what it is about their friendship but I feel like Bagi is so much more attuned to the way Phil thinks than the average islander. I guess I'd say it's because of how perceptive she is in general, especially with how she's a detective? Whatever it is, Bagi just has this talent for reading Phil like a damn book. And she won't hesitate to call him on his bullshit either. She's much like Fit in that regard. Crow man can't hide SHIT

Like fr if Phil ever gave Bagi reason to be concerned the first thing she'd do is start cornering those closest to him and either ask what's up or be like "hey Phil's on some shit rn, we gotta go force him to confess whatever stupid shit he's shouldering on his own and bottling up"

Phil has definitely been whacked with the frying pan for not venting and acting like he has to brave the horrors alone btw. Bagi's the type of friend that'll kick your fucking ass if you're not self-caring or being mean to yourself. (I am projecting LMAO)

Bagi isn't as Holy Shit We Could Die Any Second about things as Phil, but they're both very protective people, which can manifest in very volatile ways when they're hurt or angered by something (ie: Feds). I would not want to experience their individual wraths simultaneously.

Bagi is one of the top people Phil shows his gift giving love language to. Be it resources she needs, pictures he's taken of her/Em/Tina or of weird island shit, the means to complete cookie tasks, etc. She's one of the first in mind.

GOD Phil wants her to teach him how to wield a frying pan so badly. He's an excellent swordsman and bowman, but PAN?? The enjoyment he'd get out of it would be infinite, he'd love to be kicking ass while getting a laugh out of it bc pan go BONG when it hits a motherfucker.

If one needs something the other says yes no hesitation. They might ask each other a couple questions, but as soon as they have 100% clarity, they trust each other with the rest and know that if something goes wrong, whoever is present at the time will unleash hell on the person or monster that caused it.

I've somewhat already hinted at it but GOD the mutual admiration they have for each other!! Their wits and way with words, their natural sense of leadership, their determination to defend what they believe in, what they think is right, and the people they love, their specific expertise, the list goes on. They just think the other is so fucking cool and brilliant.

Tbh I think in the right circumstances they'd teach each other some lowkey fucked up tricks they have up their sleeves. Like Bagi giving Phil insight on manipulating people into giving the answers you're looking for by asking the right carefully worded questions, or Phil teaching Bagi the best spots to hit/hurt a person/mob to really do some damage just purely as a "hey if you ever find yourself in a Situation, here's a tip" thing

I don't know how better to show this without explicitly saying it: These two are not the other's fucking caretaker. Phil is not Bagi's father figure and Bagi is not Phil's mother figure. Yes, they can scold each other when the other is doing something dumb (cough, 7 hcs ago, cough). Friends do that. They support each other and call each other on their bs. That is not parenting, that's being a good friend. And they are to each other.

On that note, it hasn't come up too much yet but when shit sucks (like when the eggs were lost or lost lives), they're good at distracting each other. But like without halting the process of dealing with their emotions. If they're sad, they'll be sad together, but they're good at picking the right conversation topics to lighten the mood. If they're mad, they'll be mad together, and they'll plan what to do about it with each other.

I think I've sorta demonstrated it well enough in a couple of these hcs already but AUGH, they're just. So on the same page with each other almost all the time. And when they aren't, they're so good at giving each other perspectives they didn't think of before. Which, I don't mean to compare Bagi to her brother here, but is also how Phil and Cellbit can be with each other too; though they've somewhat fallen out of that sync post-Purgatory. The way the Mystery Siblings are so on the same wavelength as Phil makes me so *slams fist on desk*

Phil is normally a very Just Vibin' kinda guy but Bagi can get him into some really deep intellectual conversations sometimes and it's so 🍿🍿🍿 to watch

[bestovius]

Man, I'm really just venting into the void here, but I needed to get my thoughts out somewhere. Spoilers for Expidition 33 ahead, BTW.

So! The writing in this game was phenomenal through and through. It was beautiful, it was poignant, it really made you care about the world and characters. And then the endings threw all of that out for out of character, nonsensical, preachy bullshit. I won't say the endings completely ruined my enjoyment of the rest of the game, but it put a huge damper on it for sure.

First up- Verso's betrayal. I know we are already shown earlier in the game that he is willing to lie and let other people die to service his own goals, but he was supposed to have moved past that! He's already promised not to lie to the group again, and built up a supposedly "unbreakable" bond with each of these people, only for him to throw them away as soon as it means he gets what he wants. I know wanting to die isn't a fun time, god knows I have personal experience with it, but he's supposed to be extremely close to these people (potentially even romancing one of them!) and he doesn't even give a second thought to the fact that he's going to eradicate them all. It just makes him come off more as a selfish bastard more than a tragic figure, which is unsatisfying and I don't believe it's what the writers were going for.

Next up- Maelle's ending. I find this to be the less egregious of the two endings, although that means little, as they both suck. I get this is supposed to be the 'bad' ending, since we're choosing to continue wallowing in escapism, but they really just turn Maelle into a callous sociopath with this one. Like, yes, she wanted a happy ending with all her friends and her brother alive. But she's also been shown to have basic human empathy! Verso is begging to die. Could she not have let the sliver of his soul move on and taken over the painting herself? Even if she couldn't have, she could have let painted Verso rest and comforted what's left of his soul, which needs to go on for the painting. Hell, even just an apology and some regret when she recreates painted Verso and forces him to live a life he doesn't want would go a long way. Instead, just like with Verso, it makes her out to be selfish and uncaring, rather than someone who is struggling with grief and letting go.

Finally, there's Verso's ending. To start, it really irks me that the writers really made this out to be the 'correct' and morally superior choice, when really it's a trolley problem and there are no correct choices, just different ones. Also, it treats the casual murder of a LOT of people as less than an afterthought. Like yes, I know that Verso CLAIMS that the people in the painting aren't real, but why should we believe him? He has no proof, and we've spent the entire game being shown otherwise. Besides, the game has made it plenty clear at this point that nothing Verso says can be trusted. So the fact that no one really cares that all these people will die when the painting is destroyed is psychotic. But, for but a moment, let's pretend Verso is right. These people aren't real, they're just the world's most realistic delusion. This ending STILL sucks. When someone is grieving, is it true that they might become addicted to something bad for them? Yes. But you know what helps them move on and heal? Gentle support, understanding, and kindness, while encouraging them to make the decision to better their lives themselves. You know what doesn't help a person move on and heal? Destroying, against their will, the one thing that makes them happy in their time of grieving (even if that thing is unhealthy!). Fighting them, yelling at them, making their escape out to be something morally wrong. All that's going to cause is more depression at best, and at worst it will cause them to distrust or hate you and potentially even make them decide they don't want to live anymore. Guess which of these options Renoir and Verso pick? And yet the game pushes them as doing the right thing, heroically removing all the agency of a struggling person and kicking them while they're down. It has the audacity to show the family magically together and happy again, as if they didn't spend years fighting each other and all the mother and Maelle needed was for someone to show them how wrong they were and destroy their method of grieving. Suddenly Maelle is ok that her brother and all her friends are dead, even though in the other ending she was psychotically obsessed with keeping them alive, and also doesn't seem to care anymore about her disfigurement or chronic pain. I get suspension of disbelief, but this ending doesn't even try to seem realistic or consistent within its own world, and it also promotes a frankly quite harmful way of 'helping' people who are struggling.

Now, if anybody is actually bothering to read this, I'm sure some of you are thinking 'well, how would YOU have written the ending then, huh?' And while I have some ideas about how each individual ending could have been changed to be more satisfying or at least be a bit more narratively consistent, I honestly think the simplest solution would be best- remove everything after the final conversation with Renoir. The curator is defeated, Maelle convinces him that this world and its people are important to her while also promising to come out of the painting sometimes and connect with her family, roll credits. It leaves things a bit ambiguous, while not leaving any obvious loose ends, and hopeful, without being a syrupy sweet 'everything is perfect now' ending. It's satisfying and, MOST importantly, it doesn't ruin any character growth.

Anyways, sorry to ramble for so long and so negatively. I really do think most of the game is great! I just am of the personal belief that the two most important parts of a story are its beginning and its conclusion (the rest of the story should be good, too, of course! But flaws and inconsistencies in the middle of a story are more forgivable, since they can be cleared up or fixed later), and while Expedition 33 nailed its beginning, it's rare to see a game that fumbles its ending so hard. It's real frustrating investing so much into a game only for the ending to be not even serviceable, but just plain bad. All that being said, I wish the studio the best of luck, and I am looking forward to any future games they put out! I just hope they put a little bit more thought into the finale next time.

[baronvonriktenstein]

lately i got into transformers and wowiee it's literal toxic ship heaven! these robots are out here being million year old alien war criminals and I've never been happier. it was weird at first because the fandom is very horny and I've never been into mecha but the creativity the fans get with them was amazing! it even got me to write some fics after I abandoned writing for almost a year. obsessed with megatron/optimus rn these two are divorcing in every continuity.

can you get more on your own ships? would love to hear about them!!

Ooo that sounds fun!! Alien war criminal love is peak!! >:3c I don't know much about transformers but I gotta gather that it's fandom is something special with it being ongoing for so long. (Side note, I was looking up my OC's name "Juniper Strand" on DuckDuckGo just to see if it was used already and found a Transformers fanfic from 2006 a few months ago which was very jarring but I remembered that detail!!) I'm so glad it got your writing juices flowing again!! ;w; Love the divorced enemies vibes <3 <3 Are they engaged in battle for eternity? Is that the thing??? <3 <3 <3

Ohhh I have plenty of ships that are problematic or toxic in their own way but I guess I'll do a quick roundup of the ones in the tags for that post hmmmmm

Yami Bakura x Ryou Bakura (Yugioh) since it's my current thing. I mean Y. Bakura is an evil spirit possessing Ryou's body and does canonically take over his body, injure it for his own gains, and torment his friends for... his own means. It's just kind of inherently toxic and manipulative and abusive and I still love exploring fanfics for it (both canon compliant and cute haha)

Kazutaka Muraki x Yutaka Watari (Yami no Matsuei): Ok so like a lot of ships in that series are probably toxic ESPECIALLY in regards to Muraki. He and Watari do not really interact much in canon at all. It's more the uhhh possibilities. Muraki is the antagonist to Watari's crew, has raped and murdered one of his friends (who was a child btw), and is constantly seeking out and harming another friend. I think if they got together there'd be a lot of bullshit and ALSO I don't know Muraki WOULD use Watari and also there'd be violence. :3 Watari's also known to drug his friends for experiments for funsies (but since they're all dead it's like nbd right lol) Anyway they have a lot of potential for extremely manipulative "cat and also cat" bullshit.

Seishiro Sakurazuka x Subaru Sumeragi (Tokyo Babylon & X/1999) ok. They are canonically fucked up. Subaru was 16 and Seishiro was about 25 when they started palling around which is honestly the least shit regarding their relationship tbh. Seishiro lied to him for like that whole year and then ultimately attempted to murder him (and this is all after a bet set up years prior when they were younger) haha and THEN Seishiro killed Subaru's sister (she asked him to, it's complicated) . And even after all of it Subaru still loves him and wants to be killed by him? It's soooooooooooo There is not a single universe where they're good for each other but also not a universe where they're not meant to be lol. There's another universe regarding them that CLAMP wrote but even then one is chasing the other. It's wild

John Harrison (Khan Noonien Singh) x Pavel Chekov (Star Trek Beyond ((This means specifically the movie universe by JJ Abrams lol)): Actually it's been a long time since I've thought about them since I left Star Trek behind for emotional reasons haha. Idk they're brought up because when I was really into those movies, I shipped Chekov with everybody including John Harrison (I don't really prefer to refer to the Benedict Cumberbatch character as Khan for reasons) because I just did that. So age gap aside (since that was a thing for... every ship. l.... let's be real) I mean John Harrison is the antagonist and it just.... it feels bad. it's low on this list because I can't remember what it was about John Harrison specifically other than he killed people for uhhh mostly pretty understandable reasons so I guess they don't belong on this list unless I rewatch those movies again haha

apologies i've just kinda let my mind run away with this

[all-pacas]

house live-ish blogging: damned if you do (oh you thought my other ones were long. buckle up)

the nun patient is played by elizabeth mitchell aka juliet from lost and it always distracts me. because i love juliet from lost. man lost was a great show

chase doesn't say a word in the first differential, which i'm noticing is a theme in these early episodes. it really is always cameron and foreman with the ideas. he chimes in with a point about treatment but that's it.

love that cameron takes it upon herself to decorate the office. she would. she is absolutely the type. i bet her house is always drenched in decor

also love chase dipping in real quick to grab one while they're center camera. (he needs to Chew Things)

chase hasn't bothered to particpate in the differential so far but he does chime in to hate nuns. the first of his many lies this episode btw

i'm not even making a joke about his s8 rebound nun - he admits himself the priests and nuns he knew growing up were the closest he had to family, and even in this episode he hardly can keep up the pretense: he starts off icy and avoidant, but the second the nun is upset and vulnerable he drops the bullshit and does his best to comfort her. he doesn't hate nuns. but i can buy he thinks he does, or maybe that he wants to: he lost his faith, he failed (and will continue to fail) that test, but he openly admires people who do have faith, who do believe in more. to me it reads like jealousy more than anything: she has something he wants. and he thinks he dislikes her for it.

"do you think it's the work of the devil, or do you just not get cable where you live?" chase's bad mood snark once again

actually i find his take in the argument cam and foreman have really interesting too: foreman thinks house screwed up, cameron isn't sure but isn't ready to be conclusive either way; when chase's opinion is asked he says "if house is right, then this; if house is wrong, then that." he doesn't actually answer at all (although he implies he'd rather house be right because it makes his life easier). he does the same thing in s2 iirc, and later in this episode: when asked to give an opinion he'll often skirt around and avoid giving one.

"did you always want to be a doctor?" LONG PAUSE "always" i think about this every fucking day. second big lie from chase this episode. he probably always knew he would be a doctor. it's also, come to think of it, a different take than his (equally fake) tonsil story. i wonder how many different version he's told!!

we really don't talk about foreman's religious leanings and baggage enough btw. because. he basically says here he believes in god. he and cameron rehash this same discussion in house vs god (i love the implication that they just have fun little debates like this sometimes), and he implies the same thing, but always in a way like… "if there's a higher order, obviously it is concerned with humans." in house vs god he says something like "the question of god existing is the most important question," which, sorry foreman, really is only true if you already believe and care (it also comes up a lot in euphoria, and in forever; there's probably also a reason chase told foreman he prays sometimes while trying to comfort him in house training) -- anyway i fully believe foreman fully believes he's an atheist, staunch and rational and cool, but. he clearly was raised in a religious-ass house, and clearly internalized a lot of it. and, i think just as clearly, unlike chase has no religious trauma or baggage: he tends to feel pretty positively about it for something he doesn't believe in, you know?

"what about you, chase? you believe in god?" chase: "oh man look at this mri" hahahha love this man's refusal to state even the most obvious of opinions (i actually think chase's answer is no, but that he also very much wishes he believed).

cameron once again acting as chief asskisser, coming up with 18 other ways house could secretly be right this whole time

and as soon as cuddy takes over, cameron also tries to chime in with "house thinks :)"

nice wardrobe touch: foreman and chase both pull on their suit jackets before meeting with cuddy. chase also puts on a tie

love how annoyed cameron and chase are with foreman for ratting lol. like for real, these early episodes really do set up foreman as this new/opposing force to house, with cameron and chase as the sort of… loyalists. (which they are, but we haven't hit the crush/lapdog eras at all)

this early episodes are fun because wilson actually seems like he has a job and doesn't just hang around house all day. what's that like

ugh i love this scene with chase and house. it's actually the first scene they have together in the show and it's just. can you believe THIS is the first scene with just the two of them. chase actually pushes back on house and doesn't give an inch: "my mother's been dead ten years" and not "what do you want?"; "which nun? why do you say that?" - everything house says, chase pushes back on. "i don't know nuns." "maybe i hate them on principle." chase doesn't say anything. everything house throws out he denies immediately. it's honestly fascinating, it's also not remotely the last time: to go back to what the nun tells him, it's not that chase is a good liar (it's very obviously he is lying), but he really, really doesn't budge or open up or allow house's prodding to land. he does the same thing in s8, in chase: i know you want to know this. i will not tell you. i know you'll help me, because my not telling you has gotten you invested.

"i have a theory of what makes good boys good --" and chase just starts blinking rapidly, i love it. i think chase is hand's down an angry crier (case in point: lockdown. cursed. right now).

HOUSE: I have a theory on what makes good boys “good”. It’s not because of some moral imperative. Good boys have the fear of God put into them. Catholic Church specializes in that kind of training, to make good boys afraid of divine retribution so they will do what their daddies tell them, like, for example, going into medical school when it’s the last thing they want to do. What do you think?

dead to rights he's got him dead to rights. chase never wanting to go to medical school is. it's so overlooked. i mean, we know it, but he's so good at this that it's easy to forget. and yet again: chase doesn't budge. he doesn't say i went to catholic school. he definitely never says i wanted to go to seminary.

something about this compared to hunting actually. kalvin and cameron talking about doing what's right ("good") vs what makes you happy. satisfaction vs happiness. cameron scheduling fun on a calendar. i used to be a good boy, says kalvin. chase, who is 'good,' who does what he's told, who has always done as he's told. who has jumped from one authority figure to another his whole life. something

something i've always liked about this show on a meta level is how it tends to treat religion fairly evenly: house hates religion and is loud about it, but chase's rotisserie chicken of catholicism is treated seriously, and minor religious characters run the gamut - it would be easy to make the nuns in this episode silly and "wrong," but instead the mother superior is reasonable and kind, the nurse one is petty but intelligent, they're not made fun of for believing or proven right or wrong by the narrative. the show does this a lot: it isn't interested in any sort of Gotcha!! of atheism or faith, and tends to allow characters their beliefs. i like that honestly. it would be very easy for house to treat the religious like the clinic patients, you know? instead, the jewish convert lady truly just found faith. the rebound nun chooses to be a nun and will be happy with it. the cast falls across a wide spectrum of religious views from "devout" (cole) to "raised religious" (foreman) to "chase" (chase), to cameron's staunch atheism and taub/wilson/cuddy's deeply reform judaism.

CAMERON: Maybe House was right. Maybe there is an underlying condition that explains the symptoms, something we haven’t considered. CUDDY: Like what? CAMERON: It could be a metabolic disorder. CUDDY: Specifically? CAMERON: Mitogenetic. CUDDY: Specifically? CAMERON: I’m just saying – CUDDY: You’re just saying you think House is right. CAMERON: Might be right. CUDDY: Of course he might be right! It might be the Hand of God at work. Don’t say it’s something else unless you’ve got something concrete to offer.

i've always liked this exchange, because it would be very easy to make cuddy the 'bad guy' in this episode for not agreeing with house, and the delivery on these lines are very "okay, and?" instead of argumentative: cuddy is making some good points, and that point is, cameron, stop kissing house's ass if you don't have anything lol. written down it seems much more argumentative but as filmed it's very reasonable, i just like it idk. also chase, take notes, you will never exhibit as much blind loyalty to house as cameron does in these early episodes l m a o

cameron is all proud of herself when foreman points out it's an allergic reaction like she initially suggested - and house immediately shuts that down by pointing out cameron didn't stand by it. fascinating little reaction, especially given how hard cameron has gone this episode in defending him: house doesn't give her credit for asskissing at all, but we see later in heavy that she really does feel like her loyalty should be rewarded. cameron also very much loses this trait later on! but house really is not interested in being pandered to or defended. we actually see he pretty consistently prefers and appreciates and likes to surround himself with people who disagree: foreman is the ur-example, but taub was pretty blatantly hired for the same reason. but also it's like. huh! cameron really spent all episode sticking up for house and he could not give less of a shit. they really have an interesting dynamic in s1.

chase IMMEDIATELY dropping his i don't give a shit, i am aloof and uncaring act when the patient is upset is so. he's so bad at pretending he doesn't care lmao. and don't get me wrong: he sometimes to often actually does not care, but. the second he connects a little, he goes all in, you know? he can't do cameron's brand of nice to everyone; he either freezes you out or falls over himself. no middle ground

i have talked about this before but chase's favorite bible verse being essentially "the more you struggle and suffer the more god loves you, so stick with it, seriously" is just. WOW. w o w. of course he'd pick that one. of course he probably clung to it for fucking years. my guy

he's actually really good at talking to her about this. which is so insane from chase, especially at this part of the series, where he's never really spoken to a patient before: we saw him schmooze in the pilot, we saw him very awkwardly try to comfort the mother in maternity, but this is the first conversation, and it's also the first time we've seen him be earnest and serious like this: usually he keeps his head down, shuts people out, stays fairly quiet. it's a sharp contrast, you know? i also wonder what his mother was like when she died, given chase's your faith will affect how you experience your death and his much later comments that she died with him hating her…

cameron trying to comfort/reassure house and getting dismissed again. she then gives him a christmas present. i'm not sure if we're officially meant to see this as her Crush Arc: i honestly feel like at this point cameron would act this way for anyone (and hasn't gotten anything to really "trigger" her feelings -- they had a moment in maternity, kinda, except she was really mad at house about it; same with pilot and his trying to figure her out), but the scene is definitely staged in a sort of loaded tension way. cameron also gets a mystery christmas gift at the end of the episode, but tbh, i have never believed house would have done that lol. like i know we're supposed to think that. but. given how he acts every other christmas episode, given how little concern he's shown cameron so far … you know?

i am not here doing hameron denialism. if anything i'm actually really interested in watching these episodes to figure it out from a meta/direction perspective. they definitely start pushing it by mid-season. but i'm just saying this episode does not really make sense to me, even if i suspect we're supposed to see it as sort of romantic. cameron is defending him beyond reason and dismissed for it; their interactions so far have otherwise been her being angry at him for prying; house has betrayed no real vulnerabilities or personal interest in cameron besides figuring out her Deal. there are moments later that makes sense to me. this ain't it.

do love chase barging in and cameron jumping back from house lmao. SYMBOLISM FOR YEARS TO COME

going back to my thing on religion earlier: house refutes all the nun's points on miracles, but the nun is very much given the last word on the debate; she's not shamed or convinced and if anything house seems to come around to her side (he decides to let her check out AMA); he respects her faith for what it is, if not her beliefs.

chase being called the prodigal son……………………it's so clear that none of the later seasons house's successor bullshit was planned for now (it's so obviously foreman) but MAN do we love Accidental Foreshadowing. man do we ever

foreman in a santa costume handing out gifts………hahahaha it's cute but it's so "oh that was sooooo abandoned as a character beat" of him. s2-8 foreman would never

chase turning away from the chapel!!! my guy!!!!!! like i've said before i bet he sincerely, despite all evidence, truly believes he is no longer religious and has no religious feelings. i think he thinks he's a super atheist. because he is so fucking dumb

i think this is the first time we get house playing piano??? man

[111ikuyuh]

⭐Trauma is like sooooo totally n⭐t your fault⭐

⭐Ever heard someone say... "If manifesting is real, doesn't that mean you manifested your trauma? " if you haven't....that's good. But I am a very deep thinker and so I think about that a lot in the past and would get very upset over it. But girlypop...girlypop...girlypop! Let me tell you something....let's take a look at how shifting and manifesting works again alright? Those two are the same btw....just humans made it different terms.

⭐🎱Shifting is the act of shifting your awareness (not consciousness or subconscious or even soul) to another reality. Awareness is legit simply what you're experiencing in the 3d. The 3d is the physical plane. And the 4d is the imagination. Both are equally real and remember the 4d is ALWAYS the first truth. Not the 3d. Anyways....there is infinite realities correct? Infinite possibilities....and we all know what you assume in the 4d is true and the 3d follows. Whether it's instant or not is up to you to assume. So what does this mean about your trauma...? New trauma and old trauma

So now that we understand shifting/manifesting...allow me to explain bbgs. Any trauma you have experienced is not your fault whatsoever. Well to some extent it is...but it's not your fault mostly? So by law, we do assume everything whether unconscious or not. We have also been told things like "life is hard" "you will experience pain in this life and that's okay" "some things are truly impossible" stuff like that you know? And let's say your trauma is childhood trauma. You probably heard some stuff from adults and told your imagination is just your imagination. That probably had some sort of affect on you from some extent....you also could simply just be born around shitty people which is by chance. So those people who hurt you, you didn't manifest it. It was already there. But when it started happening you probably were assuming SOMETHING. like how it was real for example or how you hated it. So...subconsciously you manifested for it to continue I think. Like how we assume we are alive so ofc...we are alive. And no we don't need to directly say "we are alive" to know we are alive yk? Same thing with that. Unconscious manifesting which is natural and human. So that is the ONLY extent you've "manifested" your trauma.

⭐🎱⭐But did you want that to happen to you? No. It was unexpected and hurtful. And I know you weren't going around being like "im being traumatized and I'm happy about it...manifesting more trauma". No one does that. And you were an innocent kid when that happened. So it can't be your fault really. Like if it is...it's like 1% your fault. Simply cause humans unconsciously manifest since we assume stuff everyday.

💭Now if your trauma was recent....it's really the same thing as before. you doing manifest your trauma and you didn't manifest it for to happen I doubt. But if it was extended and you assume unconsciously it was real and still going on...you did manifest it to some extent. But definitely not fully so don't blame yourself. It's okay to be hurt about it. And by the way....this is coming from someone who has "severe" trauma I guess and is still being traumatized sometimes cause my household isn't that good tbh. So I think about this a lot. And you wanna know something?

⭐🎱⭐If you hate this fact or wish to not know it, you can assume this fact isn't true and I'm just bullshitting you or you forget that you came across this post. Just like how people who assume manifesting/shifting isn't real so for them specifically it really isn't real. Remember...everything is infinite so you can truly create the rules. Even "erase" your ability of shifting. By choice of course. It won't just happen to you unless you assume so. Anyways hope this helps! Bye! Please don't blame yourself it's okay!

xoxo, seifarria signed out♥♥⠀