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Initial drawings of that old man… I literally, I haven’t finished reading the book of bill yet!!! I had to stop and take a break for a week to feverishly draw fanart of myself petting fords floofy hair and giving him attention and shit…!!!! The urge was too great….!! I’ve literally. I had a crush on this guy the instant he was first REVEALED in the show, but I did not have the artistic prowess to draw good looking old men back then… but I do now… thank god… thank fucking god
#gravity falls#ford pines#stanford pines#self ship#self insert#si x canon#it me#doodles#I got a haircut! so my hair looks different now.. as haircuts tend to do lol#anyway… yeah… I LOVE HIM… GRAHHFJH#the confirmation that he rlly is just sad and lonely and insecure and craving attention and validation#OHH FORD BBY.. WE R THE SAME#like… ghghg i loved him already just w his prickly nerdy outer shell but knowing more about the vulnerable center is GREAT. ITS AWESOME#also hes a smart nerdy guy who can do science and expirements and shit which is ONE OF MY FAVORITE THINGS FOR A CHARACTER TO DO#u kno im all about scientists….#I couldn’t draw ship art back then 1 cuz I didn’t kno how to draw old men and 2 cuz I was like 13 lol… which would have been wierd#but I’m an ADULT NOW. GET OVER HERE FORD#also it didn’t even rlly cross my mind TO draw that stuff cuz even tho I did love ford#self ship and x reader sorta stuff was not NEARLY as popular back then.. like I specifically remember it like. booming in popularity#at some point. but being pretty rare before that. anyway. thank u passage of time and trends and new gravity falls book for introducing#me back to fictional man I love. so I can now draw myself smooching him and shit#hell yeah.#13 is probably not actually correct I do not remember exactly which year fords reveal was in…#but I was probably older then 13.. but still#the point remains lol.#also omg. the bit in the book w the goth moth. ‘ur probably into this sorta thing right?’#I AM INTO THAT SORTA THING FORD. thank u book of bill for being written specifically @ me. the immersion it’s great.#like ur so right ford I AM edgy and goth how’d u guess that tee hee. eyelash flutter#aLSO PLS IGNORE MY FINGER BEING IN FRAME IN THE LAST PIC. I was drawing in a tiny bound sketchbook#so I had to hold the paper down to keep it flat. and. I didn’t feel like censoring my fucking. pinkie finger out of the image
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I'm thinking abt that pretty fall leaves embroidery pattern post and about how like... it is categorically a repost, it's a reupload. right? a thing that is generally disliked. but because it's credited, it's genuinely boosting the artist in question. and it could ALWAYS be like this. reposting content could ALWAYS be a symbiotic relationship, but because sourcing back to the original creator of something is so uncommon, it's just easier to ask people not to repost it at all. and people still don't understand the difference. or they'll go to the effort of cropping out usernames/signatures to repost something, which is More Effort than literally crediting the creator of something you liked enough to want to repost. Like. I literally don't actually care if my own shit gets reposted, you have to understand. I just don't want it STOLEN. But "do not repost" is easier to write on my art than "you can repost this, but don't alter the image/remove my signature, don't you dare write 'credit goes to the artist' because that is not credit, please link back to my original post or someplace that you can actually find me. please use an actual link/url instead of writing a non-clickable link of my username, because making it text instead of a clickable link cuts the number of people who will go to the effort of visiting my own page in Half." All those aggregate themed accounts, those fuckin annoying as hell instagrams and facebook groups that are like "body positive art we love wamen 💕 hashtag feminism" and then MASS-STEAL plus sized art created by women, if pages like these that always go and steal my older self-portraits and other works... If they just put a link to my prints of those pieces in the text of those posts, or, fuck, my commission info page? I would literally be living on the moon right now. I would have a house on the moon
#there is actually nothing morally wrong with running an account that just reuploads ppl's artwork or their jokes or their cosplays#if you just put a VISIBLE LINK in the description of your post with proper credit then it would be beneficial for everyone#because you can get your little clout or whatever it is you want by putting a bunch of same-category content on a page#but nobody's getting fucked over because if your post blows up then people just get FUNNELED to the source#because it's placed so plainly where everyone can see it#and yeah it's better to retweet or reblog but#on the rare occasion that I see my shit reuploaded on tumblr WHICH IS WEIRD BC I MAKE MY OWN POSTS HERE but anyway#someone making their own post where they upload my stuff. and it's always the floral self portraits so let's say it's a post with all those#if I scroll to the bottom and it says like. Artwork by Serglesinner on Twitter <-- clickable link [Sergle's Prints] <-- clickable link#to my etsy#I'm like oh okay and all the anger leaves my body and I'm like ah I see. and I toss the rock aside#like oh okay so you actually care that a person made these pieces. Instead of posting the caption ''women <3'' or smth#like you've GOTTA die if you do that. but if you just link back#or if you go to the effort of writing like a description with a BLURB? like it's a damn museum. like a light paragraph of info#about what the art is and who made it and their links#I am literally sucking you in a strange and peculiar manner. that is extremely helpful#and maybe other artists don't want this AT ALL and they'd rather people not reupload even if it is credited#but I feeeeeeeeel. like 99% of the time this would solve the issue#reposters could genuinely be helping ppl. sometimes the repost gets more traction than the real thing#as long as it credits the creator then that's an okay thing to happen!#that can land somebody a sale! a commission order! a new fan! A JOB#A JOB!!!!!!!!!!#sergle.txt#I didn't write this eloquently AT ALL what the fuck ever barkbarkbarkbark
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I'm not dead, hello!! Life's been chaotic and a certain lil discord server has been keeping me extremly distracted (affectionally) But art has been happening slowly!
Here is some color pallete studies (soaproach edition, cus they are... plaguing my mind) I did some days(?) ago!! Most of these were requested (as you can see by the amount of... soap's (truly a fan favorite))
Part 1 (this one) - Part 2 - Part 3
#Tags first ramble second#cod#call of duty#cod mw2#call of duty modern warfare 2#call of duty soap#call of duty roach#john soap mctavish#gary roach sanderson#soap/roach#roach/soap#soaproach#roachsoap#manysart#manyrambles#I promised I would post these so here I am!#I'm actually really proud of all of these which is a rare occurence XD#But my heart has favorites of course (it's the soaproach one...and the roach one)#Anyway the soaproach one was requested by Ren (thank you Ren for giving me the opportunity to draw them <3#I could explode with the love i have for them)#Soap with blue background was requested by erin (one of the prettiest soap's I've drawn)#That roach was requested by me lmao. First one of the batch#And the last was by apple!
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would you still love me if I said I've lost interest in reading fanfic?
#maybe it's not a permanent thing. just lately it's felt....idk how to say it without sounding like a bad person#which is to say- i guess I've not been in the best mindset to allow myself to enjoy things#hypercritical yadda yadda#and i hope people don't expect me to read their stuff#.i won't expect others to read mine. i rarely write anymore as it is#i just want to be here and vibe without the pressure of feeling like i HAVE to do something and participate as a reader if I'm not writing#anyway this sounds insane#does it make sense though? like i love you guys so much and it brings me so much comfort to be here among you#but i just dont have the spoons to be an active participant in writing/reading right now
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In defense of late-canon x files (including the revivals)
I was thinking about this poll after I commented on it, and I kinda want to be brave and say more.
Short answer to the poll's question before I go any further: If you're a new fan and a sensitive sort who thinks you'll struggle with your blorbos Really Going Through It and you really need a happy ending, I suggest you stop at the end of season 8. Do not pass go, do not look at spoilers. Disregard this post entirely, close the internet, and go look at something that makes you happy. (Also fuck every part of society that characterizes sensitivity as inherently weak and bad and some kind of personal failing, you are valid.)
That said, "quality" as a concept is entirely subjective, and the question of whether or not there's a decline in quality for any story is wholly subjective, too. In the case of x files? I'm not convinced there is a decline. I am going to be upfront that I haven't yet watched past season 8, though I am almost completely spoiled on events after that - and the reason I haven't watched yet is not because of how I know events are going to unfold, but simply because I don't want it to end!!! Ohh, the tension between "I CAN'T WAIT!!!" and "Nooo don't be over D:"
When I first came to txf fandom on tumblr and gradually became spoiled about what happens in late canon though, I was often left uncomfortable and tbh kinda queasy about it. As I said in my comment on the poll, the hate for especially the revival and IWTB, or to a lesser extent even seasons 8 & 9, is very well documented. But! There are other takes to be found here on tumblr if you figure out where to look, and my feelings have changed!
The thing is, I have yet to find myself in any fandom where there isn't a vocal subset of fans who dislike the story after a certain point. I am not joking when I say that no one hates the things they love as passionately as sci-fi and fantasy fans. In my experience, it often hinges on the extent to which a viewer has strong notions on where they would like the characters to end up. In particular with series where shipping is a dominant component for the bulk of a fandom, I have almost universally found that there comes some turning point in the story where "let them be happy you cowards" is the dominant view, and things that compromise the attainment of a degree of romantic stability and/or domesticity are, to many fans, annoying at best and despicable at worst. But! As one tagset on the linked poll said:
and I think for any fandom, that last tag especially is so so so important. (I think that's harder for people watching a weekly series live, bc you have so much time to analyze and speculate and dream before the next breadcrumb drops, but I digress.)
So why am I saying this and how do I apply it to x files? Well, I eventually found that there are also a subset of fans who find redeeming things right up to the very end and actually quite like the whole thing! The things that I had seen people rage and ventpost so much about honestly never quite sounded to me as "out of character" or "untrue to the story" etc as those same ventposts made them sound. And I've discovered I'm not the only one who felt that way. Do I love that the spooky squad had to go through all of those things? No, those poor guys D: Life is hard and they have been through so much trauma. But do those events and their choices make sense to me in light of everything that came before? Yes! And I honestly can't wait to see them fight to overcome those things, breaking, healing, always learning, always growing, always getting better.
So if you're wondering "where does it go wrong"... well, I'm a completionist, as many people who've answered that post are, but also my personal opinion is that I don't think it does go wrong. If you're new and interested in exploring why I've gone from "vaguely queasy" to "excited" about the whole thing, or want to maybe balance out the impressions you're getting about the later seasons before deciding whether or not you want to see the whole thing, I'll put a few blog names in the comments.
Final admission: even once I started feeling a little more confident in the possibility that "actually ok maybe I'm not crazy, maybe this all kind of is in character and does make sense", there was one big plot point that I was NOT looking forward to and I thought I would never be comfortable about. In hindsight, I think my discomfort came from the negative responses being SO seemingly universal that I hadn't stopped to let myself truly consider other possible interpretations on that point. (I mean my initial instinct when I first read about it was, why are we mad about this?? CSM is literally the most unreliable narrator in history???? it's obviously fake news?????? this must be either a fever dream someone's having or it's a misdirection ploy against whatever shadowy forces might still be lurking?????????????? but for whatever reason I guess I had halfway written that off.) Happily, just last month there's a new post-s11 novel out, and although reviews for the book as a whole are mixed, it seems to have laid the groundwork for resolving that plot issue in a way I think most fans would be broadly happy with. If you're interested in being spoiled about that and seeing how, I recommend searching #perihelion on @agent-troi who liveblogged reading it with receipts, scroll back chronological-style to the first post on the subject and see how it unfolded. (And never forget that Dana Katherine Scully is the queen of denial as a coping mechanism lol)
Everyone's mileage will vary. Each person can feel however they want! But for anyone new, I wanted you to know that the very many ventposts you might be seeing are not all there is to this show or its fandom. Some of us love it despite - or even because of - all the things that went "wrong". I think we just don't talk about it as much.
#i don't talk about it much because tbh it can get *fraught*. and i've had that in other fandoms too.#i added and deleted so many qualifiers from this post over it lmao#people are passionate about fandom which is great! as a concept#but it sucks feeling like most people hate the thing you love or that - however diplomatically it's phrased - you should hate it too#or that folks think maybe you *would* be mad if you just looked at it a certain (sometimes seemingly cast as the 'correct') way#basically it's insane that half the time when i see people standing up and praising the revival i'm like 'damn bruh. you brave'#and feeling that way is partly a me thing. but i've seen posts that also lead me to believe it's not JUST a me thing yaknow?#i always wonder whether the 'vocal subset' in any given fandom who hate a thing are really the majority that they appear to be#or if they just appear to be the majority because they've needed to be vocal about it as a sort of internet support group thing lol#which fair enough i mean anyone's entitled to be disappointed or have feelings#for me? i don't think i can remember ever being mad about a series i liked#i'm just here for the vibes man i very rarely have fixed notions#i say to the writers: go ahead and surprise me. i'll make sense of pretty much anything they throw at me#i also think about a dd quote i saw ages ago that as an actor you (paraphrased): can't say 'the character would not do that'#...because if it's in the script then by definition they *did* do that. it's right there on the page.#and that's kind of me as a fan too.#p.s. i fucking love season 8 i love angst and holy shit it delivers. the new characters are fantastic the journey is *chef's kiss* and#yes i consider certain temperamental even assholeish behavior to also be *chef's kiss* there's so much trauma so much reason for it#it's be-yoo-ti-ful 💕 season 8 my beloved 😍#anyway watch it all watch none do what you want. just know that there are people who would cuddle the whole damn thing from start to finish#like a floppy wet lil raggedy ann doll if only they COULD#x files#the x files#txf revival#txf thoughts#i love you floppy wet raggedy ann doll
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i left my phone in my room and picked up an actual physical book and sat down on the balcony and read the whole thing can everyone please be so so proud of me
#for reasons that'd take way too long to explain im living at my grandmas house rn for around a month (she's not here)#and she has like a billion detective novels which i love but i lost the ability to read when i was like 12#i do read books as pdfs sometimes but even that's rare... and they're usually dr w.ho/t.orchwood#it was curtain of poirot fame which I've seen like a billion times coz it's one of my#favourite poirot stories but i've never read it#ms christie is crazyyy coz somehow i still gasped out loud multiple times despite knowing the ending#it's also really cool that you 1000% can guess the ending if you pay attention#i almost always guess the murderer immediately w detective things but i usually watch shows where it's way easier imo#i mean i guess them in books too but they make it less easy coz shows have a limited cast and it's always obvious#anyway damn... i really wanna get back to reading so im gonna try to read other ones as well#she has tons of books in english hungarian and german so the selection is endless#mostly crime novels which is great coz i love those. no prizes for guessing who i get it from#barking
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took a nap and had a dream someone on here actually posted ‘what’s your favorite step’ over a photo of the paved brick roads in daybreak town i’m not even joking
#think it was thetwilightroadtonightfall#would that not be like terminally insane hiatus posting#kingdom hearts#khux#mine: kh#y’all what’s your favorite uhhh *spins wheel* bush#that’s how i know it was a deep and greatly-needed nap i rarely dream and i really almost never remember them#that’s how i know i was really that exhausted#like i must’ve been out cold#unfortunately i had to set an alarm and limit it to one hour because i still have another class today#but i was fully prepared to go full lights out night night before noon#i have not been responsible with going to bed early this week#stairposting#<- isn’t it interesting how my dream didn’t even start with specifically stairs. it was like just bricks#like bricks as steps like stepping stones#but rosie interpreted it as stairs which like. fair enough#anyways. yes here began it all
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getting sun kissed ☀️
#here’s my face#I really love this one! which is rare for me to say#anyways sitting by the pool this weekend#drinking and dancing and trying to have fun#I need it#bisexual#girls with curves#girls with colored hair
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Tekken's storytelling may have its flaws and T7 absolutely had its issues, but this is a perfect moment to me. You could NOT have a clearer depiction of PTSD than what happens here; we see the 5 year old child inside the man, while his mother's theme leitmotifs in the background signifying her metaphorically haunting the scene, and then on top of it we get flashbacks from the prior games including Kazuya's T2 death!!
The composition of the flashbacks is so nice too since it's dominated by visions of Heihachi, before we see Kazuya as a child again then a flickering moment of Kazumi (solidifying that he is her legacy and needs to carry out what she failed to do) culminating in the T4 "I'm going to get everything back!" line.
And then the scream. If that's not an amazingly performed vocalization to express 45 years of carried trauma and anger then I don't know what is. That last hit has every piece of rage and pain in him behind it. Then silence as Heihachi falls. The quietude that comes immediately after catharsis. All that violence and then the moments it takes to process before he can act again. I just love it a lot. Kazuya was really done justice here.
#meta#val talks tekken#I could analyze this a lot deeper but this gets across my main feelings I think#kaz is not treated very well by the narrative in general but I have zero complaints here and I think even his trauma is depicted well#which is something that... rarely happens let's just say#kazumi's presence in this scene means a lot to me too. she's a spectre lingering over it all. kazuya is what's left of her in this world.#he's experienced so much loss. is it any wonder that after it all he desires everything?#anyway. W PTSD depiction moment is the main thing I wanted to say.
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the doctor isnt neurodivergent or autistic or adhd or nonbinary or genderqueer or asexual. what the doctor is, is Not From Here
#which necessarily of course says something abt their (non)whiteness#(i had all these words in quotation marks first so mentally add those to whiteness too)#but we've them be black for all of 1.5 episode now so#lets see how that develops you know#also i dont think i understand the politics of that part well enough to say much abt it#not that i probably understand the politics of these parts better but#im annoyed enough abt this Thing happening these years. in these 20s i guess. the 'representation' thing#to complain abt it anyway#the dsm isnt real and it isnt gonna fuck you buddy#maybe i'll read some books and then one day i'll write an essay driven by spite and pettiness#i wonder if i can make the thesis statement about the tension between their status of main character#in a 60 year running family adventure show vs this therapy thing we're doing now#like. you cant do that. in terms of like. what story is and does. what a character is and does. it strains#in an interesting way. like im not saying they Shouldnt have done it. im just observing. that you cant do that really. i think#or maybe you can! but i'll find that out#i also dont know shit abt narratology or whatever so. need to read books first. sigh#always have to pause my thoughts to read myself in first its so annoying. esp bc i rarely really do#bc then new thoughts new things to do you cant do EVERYTHING. you can do almost nothing. bane of my existence really#but like you might even be able to say smth interesting here about whether you can call them traumatised at all#remember that article i saw around on tumblr a few years ago i think that was abt like. some scholar in the middle east maybe#saying that ptsd is a western thing bc it necessitates a Post#all of this is western. psychiatry is western. its all stories. how you conceptualise trauma is a story#whos Other is story#where youre from is a story what you stand for is a story who you are is a story#ah. checked the article. dr samah jabr. palestinian. i'll start with her book maybe
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regardless of the "learn how to be alone" dravel, being lonely actually is really bad for your mental health and can be very painful :p
#i've been doing so so bad#and i've had breakdowns frequently this past week#and i dont have friends or family or a partner or even a therapist lmao#so im alone and thus only feeling worse and worse#my mom has been in an unusual bad mood lately so i havent been able to talk to her at all#but today she asked me to go to her to the store bc she wanted me to buy smth#and on the way we watched the snails and she found them cute (she has never appreciated snails before)#and now i instantly feel a bit better and a bit more normal after only 15 min of hanging out with her#it's so easy for ppl who have family or friends or a partner to judge and criticize me#but like.... u have ppl close to u and u know nothing abt what it feels like to be in my position#it's so condescending and lacking of compassion#i dont understand your pov either but at least im not TELLING YOU directly how much i judge you#like ppl judge me so hard for feeling miserable in my loneliness... but it's easy for u to say those things#like u dont feel my despairing loneliness bc u have a fkn partner. u have fkn friends. or a fkn family. easy for u to judge me from up ther#anyway im much better at being alone than most ppl bc im still alive and im enduring the pain every day#other ppl have ppl around them 💀 only others who are all alone can understand how much it hurts#and it wont be fixed by loving yourself or loving to be alone or whatever other bs they use to criticize u ._.#being alone IS harmful to your health. there are studies on it and im not just making that shit up#i AM allowed to feel pain bc i dont have anyone#ugh esp ppl w partners who can receive physical and romantic attention.... when they judge me.....#stfu forever u have no idea how i feel 💀 and u could never know simply by having had a partner at all...#but yeah. it bothers me too bc i NEVER see someone on here and go#damn i hate this sm i gotta let them know by sending them anons or vague post abt them#like i dont get up in their faces and tell them all my judgemental or bitter or hateful thoughts abt them#even this post is only bc other ppl have taken the liberty to without my consent or having asked tell me directly how pathetic i am#how im not allowed to feel alone. how i have a victim mentality so on and so forth#i never tell other ppl things like that. even if i think them (which honestly i rarely do unless they're extremely toxic TO other ppl) i wo#say shit abt it to them.... ??? like why?#when i sometimes see like ppl have friends on here or talk abt their partners i can feel bitter and jealous#bc im surrounded by seeing things i so deeply crave but im not a humanbeing worth of those things
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Deadmeat Rem AU
We've seen Twin Swap AUs & recently, I've thrown my own hat (re: Purple Hyacinth AU) into the loop. However, upon rereading @lost-technology's Survivor's Guilt fic & going through our dms, I propose a more unorthodox role swap prompt:
AU where Vash & Rem swap places.
Vash is a Plant engineer who became a SEEDS navigator after losing Alex (he can be Vash's bf or relative in this AU). He's there when Tesla is born & has to live on after her (murder) death (which was his fault, he should've been better, should've done more, fought harder, they were gifted an angel & they slaughtered her). He's the goofy dad who's there through the twin's formative years, desperately trying to be better because he knows his best isn't & never will be enough.
And okay, I'm spitballing a bit here, but imagine: how would this impact Rem? The poignancy of her character comes from her role as much as her personality. In canon, she seemed to be an only child, so how would having Nai as an older brother affect her? How would she handle the Humanoid Typhoon's role? We, as the audience have only known canon!Rem through the 1 year Vash spent with her & snippets of her past, so how would her 150 year life span go?
Or if you want to shake things up further, maybe Nai & Tesla swap roles too. Maybe Nai is the one born first. A boy Plant who could produce metallic material, a weapon at worst & a tool at best. They name him Knives so no one forgets that & Vash nicknames him Nai to say 'no, I do NOT agree with that!'.
Thus, Tesla (maybe with electricity powers??) is the one who decides to end humanity because god forbid women commit crimes /j. Is this is also lowkey inspired by @shelternmberone's Roleswap AU? Yes. GIVE US MORE VILLAIN TESLA AUS!
If you want to go another mile: maybe Luida & Brad take Meryl & Milly/Roberto's places as Ship 3's residents & investigative reporters/insurance agents respectively.
Anyways, what I'm trying to say is, the sky's the limit rlly, which is the whole point of AUs like this.
#trigun#trigun au#role swap au#deadmeat rem au#rem saverem#vash the stampede#millions knives#tesla#trimax#trigun stampede#my brain thought of this au & i took the time to write abt it instead of my report-#and hey if we're going with name symbolism again maybe vash named her rem bcz he believes she represents dreams#vash's dreams for peace maybe even tesla's dream of being able to properly live#and how dreams at the end of the day are fickle & rarely ever come true#but humanity keeps having them anyways#meanwhile vash bitterly wonders if his name reflects humanity's herd mentality & his own powerlessness#but he's also the one who introduces the concept of a 'pack' (family) to the twins#also imagine rem in a badass blue coat#(which gives her ammunition to roast legato BLUEsummers)#maybe in this au the accident that killed alex also resulted in vash still getting his prosthetic#would rem also get one or an eyepatch like PH tesla & SG rem? if tesla is knives here would she give rem lichtenberg scars?#up to you
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I do think a good chunk of the 'cringey atheist' stereotype did come from the fact that, especially americans, regardless of their actual religious status are just casually christian and refer to things through a religious filter and that isn't seen for how overwhelming/obnoxious/frustrating it is. Its absense, such as when writing a story and things like "oh god" or other casual references are remove or replaced, is seen as notable the same way people find the cast being all women or queer being 'abnormal'.
And I think more people, especially here on tumblr, should take a moment from ragging on some kid being "cringey" saying god doesn't exist or making atheist jump around like dancing monkeys to establish they're one of the good respectful ones before they ever even begin to talk about their own thoughts, and examine why so much content just inserts god into a conversation that had nothing to do with religion like it's the expected norm, the same way they examine the invasiveness of casual heteronormativity.
#this is just cause an ex christian youtuber i otherwise like refers to any extreme emotional experience as a 'religious experience'#as if everyone can agree on it being so#and theres more than a few posts on here that make me wonder why#so many people are incapable of making something 'poetic' or 'great' without invoking religious imagery#even where it had no relevance#atheism#anyways#ive seen uncomfortably similar treatment that aces in particular have received for pointing out amatonormativity in a post#its rare these days though because atheists have long since been thuroughly shamed in american society as being edgy#which like wooow a christian nation that shames every other religion in some way found a way to shame nonreligious too? shocking#actually i get kinda annoyed when i think about it its one of those propaganda that people casually buy into#without examining it at all#youll see atheists acting like dancing monkeys trying to establish theyre not cringe guys its okay#just to talk about how they feel and think#i remember being a young adult and when someone started talking to me with the assumption of god being in the picture#and id get an eye roll like i was being childish not going along with it nevermind they inserted god into the convo in the first place#without question or comment#and i know it wasnt forceful the same way some ex religious folks can get a bit zealous the same way they were about religion#which theres something to eb said for that zealousness being acceptable when christian but not when atheist or another religion#but ive never gone through such a phase my family has been atheist for several generations now and we were taught to respect beliefs#anyways sorry idk why this is on my brain this afternoon i think i saw a post or smth and it reminded me of that youtuber
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My high school did a yearly poetry recitation contest (Poetry Out Loud), so Oh Boy do I know some poems. My favorites are Ozymandias and "the world is about to end and my grandparents are in love," by Kara Jackson. Also in 8th grade we had a Poe unit and had a class contest to make the best music video of the Raven, so I still know a good chunk of that.
i hadn't heard of the kara jackson one! just read through it and enjoyed it, particularly these lines > 'grandma returns to her love like a hymn, marks it with a color. // when the world ends will it suck the earth of all its love? /will i go taking somebody’s hand, / my skin becoming their skin?'
#taking this as a challenge to see how much of ozymandias and the raven i can remember. no i'm not bored at work what gives you that idea#i bet ive got most of ozymandias. the raven may be a lost cause#i met a traveller from an antique land / who said: two vast and trunkless legs of stone / stand in the desert. near them on the sand /#half-sunk a shatter'd visage lies whose frown / and wrinkled lip and sneer of cold command / tell that its sculptor well those passions read#...something or other i do not recall / the heart that mocked them and the heart that fed / and on the pedestal these words appear /#my name is ozymandias king of kings / look on my works ye mighty and despair /#nothing beside remains. round the decay / of that colossal wreck . something or other#the lone and level sands stretch far away#decay of that colossal wreck indeed (my memory for this poem)#oh well.#once upon a midnight dreary as i pondered weak and weary / over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore /#while i nodded nearly napping suddenly there came a rapping / as of someone gently tapping tapping at my chamber door /#tis some visitor i muttered tapping at my chamber door / only this and nothing more#?? (it's downhill from here)#ah distinctly i remember it was in the bleak december / and each separate dying ember wrought its ghost upon the floor /#something?ly i sought the morrow / vainly had i sought to borrow / from my books surcease of sorrow / sorrow for the lost lenore /#for the rare and radiant maiden whom the angels .name lenore / lost to me forevermore#(then there is another stanza; bird-infested word bonanza / which i used to know at some point but do not know anymore /)#something something something door. darkness there and nothing more#oh it's the 'silken sad uncertain rustling of each purple curtain / thrilled me filled me with fantastic terrors never known before' bit#anyway. deep into that darkness peering something stood i hoping fearing / doubting?? dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before#but the silence was unbroken and the stillness gave no token / and the only word there spoken was the whispered word lenore#(more missing chunks)#oh i remember 'surely said i surely that is / something at my window lattice' because it's such a stupid rhyme#bird time bust time idk#ghastly grim and ancient raven wandering from the nightly shore / tell me what thy lordly name is on the night's plutonian shore /#a billion more stanzas i dont remember. except for 'prophet!' said i 'thing of evil! prophet still if bird or devil!#whether tempter sent or whether tempest tossed thee here ashore /' etc. wait you can only add 30 tags to posts now?? i had more raven chunks#ask#anon
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Had a weekend where I pushed myself hard creatively and got a lot of amazing feedback from it. My brain is melted, but my heart is happy. 💙
#this has been a post#i think with writing in particular it often feels like writing into the void#which to be fair i write for myself first and foremost#so i don't post expecting a lot of accolades and interaction#that being said#i felt really really seen from dms and comments i have received the past two days#people catching onto things i do with what i write and pointed out things no one has made me giddy#and i honestly really needed that so i am extremely grateful and quite thrilled#i rarely get feedback like that so i was like AHHHHHLWNCMFLSKDKDK#anyway here's wonderwall
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what’s a fun fact about you that people may not guess
i am not anyone's idea of athletic. however since my social circle is like 90% other honors student orchestra losers, i technically qualify as a jock given that i have six years of experience playing field hockey
#i was a goalie though. jysk. lest you think i was actually running around like a fit person or something#sasha answers#infinitelytheheartexpands#i wasn't bad at it actually. though my 12th grade season was squandered by my fucking coach who never let me in varsity games#my team was shit and my teammates hated me. i don't think i ever had an unqualified Great experience playing with them.#by some miracle though i came out of it all actually enjoying field hockey as a sport#both as a player and a spectator#and to this day it's the only sport i've willingly gone to see professional matches of#and will actively sit down and watch the olympic matches of#though they don't often get broadcast here because field hockey in the us is not taken seriously and our teams rarely make the olympics lol#so if i want to watch i'd have to stream it online at odd times. like a netherlands or australian match or something#though the upside of the sport being kind of small in this country outside of specific regions (like where i grew up)#means that going to see literally the us national team play on their home turf is great. the crowd is modest it's not cramped or too loud#lots of fun. too bad they moved their home base though and are no longer in driving distance for us to attend games. oh well#my sister was always way more into field hockey than me. she played in college as a recruited athlete...i just played in high school#mostly cause i had to. but i still somehow enjoy the sport anyway#which i can't really say of any other major team sport#not the ones i've tried to play anyway
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