#(which i decided for the sake of my own health not to argue against)

[forerussake]

@the-marron tagged me!! Thankssss <333

Currently watching:

Granting you a dreamlike life

L.O.R.D. Critical World

Tientsin Mystic

Extraordinary attorney Woo

And that is honestly too much plot for my brain to keep track of at the same time already xD Technically Mystic Nine should be on this list bc I still have to finish the last 5 episodes but it’s been so long by now that I can’t really count it as sth i’m actively watching anymore :(((

Currently rewatching:

The Uncanny Counter

I don’t usually do much structural rewatching from beginning to end. So this is currently the only thing on the list. But I occasionally like to rewatch an episode of Reboot or Guardian or the Rebel.

Looking forward to:

So many things! So just a few of the highest priority shows on the list:

Detective L

The long night

Nirvana in fire

Lost in the Kunlun mountains

My true friend

If movies are also allowed then of course I can’t wait to see Lost in the stars when it finally officially comes out. And marron already knows that i’m still looking for a good opportunity to watch 1921. Which has to be a moment i’m alone in the house and can commandeer the tv for 2 hours, bc my mom is annoying enough when I’m watching anything else in her presence. I don’t really feel like fielding questions about this one xD

Tagging: @pangzi @omaenanimonoda @programmedradly @lunarriviera @lucientelrunya @scaredysap @cuterocks @psychic-waffles @mjsakurea @stupid-lemon-eater @phantomhydeoftheopera @elenothar @baiyubai if you want to :D

[goliah0]

I’m going on a rant because the story behind the mentioned threat here was absolutely hilarious.

It started with JA’s letter to BR in September 1805. In the letter JA complained that his efforts towards peace and neutrality during Quasi war was disregarded because he held no power against Washington, who held no power against Hamilton, who held no power against the Tories.  He then mentioned that AH demanded a command at Yorktown “upon pain of a Pamphlet”.

BR got curious and asked JA “What do you allude to in the hint of what passed between GW & General H at Yorktown?”

JA responded in December 1805 that AH had a fit when GW was about to appoint someone else to command the attack on redoubt at Yorktown and threatened to expose GW’s conduct with a pamphlet. (I couldn’t substantiate the story in anyway, but AH must had tons of dirt on GW after four years being his right hand man, lol)

BR then recalled a conversation he had with General (Francisco de) Miranda who said he was close to AH during the revolution and heard AH talked about GW with contempt, and “I have written a history of his battles & campaigns and I will undeceive them (the Europeans who admired GW).

JA’s response in January 1806 dedicated a whole paragraph to AH (of course) in which he famously called him “an insolent cockscomb” “a bastard brat of a Scotch peddler” who bragged about his administration “like a young girl about her brilliants and trinkets”.

The topic was then laid to rest for a while until November 1812, when BR asked about the circumstances of AH’s threat to GW. JA told him he didn’t know the context of it but “In general, I have always understood that Hamilton lived with Washington very much as Lady Teazle lived with Sir Peter, and as Lady Mary Wortley Montague lived with her Husband.”

In Sheridan’s The School for Scandal, Lady Teazle was the pretty wife with a humble origin to Sir Peter who was much older and wealthier. They argued all the time because Lady Teazle kept spending money on clothes and other luxuries, but Sir Peter was still charmed by her headstrong nature and found satisfaction in quarreling with her. Lady Teazle later decided to take Joseph as a lover “for fashion’s sake” ; Sir Peter was hurt by the rumors but wished to give her lots of money after their divorce and after his death out of generosity. Lady Teazle overheard his confession and denounced her lover in front of him; Sir Peter was mad at the affair but forgave her in a second after hearing she was in tears. (The amount of parallels here lmao. And JA’s analogy  - a young girl in love with trinkets – was so consistent to the point that it was almost artistic.)

Lady Mary Wortley Montague – to my limited knowledge – eloped with her wealthy husband to escape from a marriage arranged by her father. She later left him to live with her lover then travel alone under the pretense of health issues, they never met again until his death 20ish years later.

So JA was not only referring to AH being the young and feisty wife who married an older wealthy man, but also AH being the wife who exploited her husband’s wealth and social standing without committing truthfully. (Although Lady Mary was such a remarkable writer and anyone should feel flattered being compared to her lol) He made a similar remark about GW’s insistence on appointing AH as general during Quasi war as “one of the greatest errors of his life” in his 1809 lengthy angry venting that “Hamilton had no more gratitude than a cat. If you give a hungry famished cat a slice of meat, she will not accept it as a gift: She will snatch it by force, and express in her countenance and air, that she is under no obligation to you; that she has got it by her own cunning and activity, and that you are a fool for giving it to her”. And he was basically criticizing AH for taking advantage of GW.

To conclude this series of artistic insults by JA was RB’s response three days later:

I had the Anecdote of H’s threat to write the History of W’s Battles and Campaigns, from you, who had it from Miranda. I know nothing of the Circumstance that led to it. In general, I have always understood that Hamilton lived with Washington very much as Lady Teazle lived with Sir Peter, and as Lady Mary Wortley Montague lived with her Husband.

John Adams Being John Adams in letter to Benjamin Rush, Nov. 14, 1812

this comment was made 8 yrs after ham's death, 13 yrs after washington's death btw

[my-unmanageable-mischief]

Cuddle Puddle for Four

For the lovely anon who requested : Could I request a fic where you’re not feeling well (physically or mentally) so the Marauders come in and snuggle with you in your bed and you’re all very touchy with each other and it’s just very cute. Maybe some wolfstar and James x reader? No rat please!

 Light James Potter x Reader, and light Sirius Black x Remus Lupin

Warnings : Insinuated Bipolar disorder and mental health

The moment your classes were done on Friday you retreated to your dorm room, crawling into bed, and burying yourself beneath the covers and letting yourself cry into your pillow. You felt miserable. Your week had started high, you felt like you could do anything. You were doing school work like it was a breeze, laughing, joking and being an all around joy. You were on a wonderful high. But like all good things, it came to an end, suddenly and all at once, and you entered a depressive episode. Everything hurt. Your head, your chest, your body, your soul. You wanted to crawl into a hole and die. 

So you stayed in bed all weekend, alternating between looking at the ceiling and staring at the wall, a girl needed variety after all. Friday turned into Saturday and Saturday into Sunday. Your dormmates tried several times to get you to come eat with them; to do something. But you brushed them off, saying you were ill. Lily dutifully brought you food at every meal but it went untouched. You couldn’t eat. All you could do was alternate between crying pathetically and sleeping. 

Finally Monday rolled around and you still didn’t leave your safe haven of a bed. 

“Y/N,” Lily stuck her head into your curtains which had remained shut the entire time, she looked at you worried and you wanted her to stop. You were fine. Or at least you would be, once you were left alone. “Class is starting soon.”

“I am sick, Lily.” You muttered, not looking at her, “Tell them I don’t feel well.” Lily perched herself on the edge of your bed. 

“Alright. But you should try and get up, shower, it might make you feel a bit better.” You knew she was right, Merlin, why did she always have to be right? 

“Okay,” You nodded slightly, “I will,” Maybe. Lily nodded and stood from your bed, shutting your curtains again when she left, and you listened to her leave the room fully before you let out another small sob. 

Down in the common room The Marauders stood waiting for Lily to reappear and when she did James jumped forward, eyes wide with worry. 

“Is she okay? Is she coming to class?” He asked, and Lily shook her head. They had become mates slightly ever since he got over his crush for her and stopped bothering her all the time. 

“She said she’s sick.” Everyone shared a look, knowing what that meant. They all left for lessons for the day, unable to focus as they were worried about you the entire time. 

You continued to lay in bed for some hours before eventually peeling yourself from the sheets. Lily was right, you should shower. You went to the bathroom, turning the water as hot as it would go before getting in. You allowed the burning water to wash over you, even going as far as to shampoo and condition your hair. Lily would be proud. Once done, you changed into a clean pair of sleeping shorts and one of Sirius’s old oversized t-shirts before climbing back into bed, where you remained until the sun set again. Another miserable day gone by. You heard the bedroom door open and footsteps came to your bed, stopping just outside, the curtain was pulled back revealing Lily. 

“Y/N,” She greeted, you nodded your head. 

“Hullo.” 

“The boys said they need you,” You looked slightly nervous as you sat up.

“Is everything okay?” You asked and she shrugged her shoulders. 

“They said it was Marauder business and they need you in their dorm immediately.” She informed you and you sighed. You sat up and she smiled slightly at you, noticing your slightly wet hair and new pajamas. You got out of bed and pulled on a fuzzy pair of socks before going towards the door. Only a Marauders emergency could get you out of your bed at a time like this. 

“I’ll be back,” You muttered before disappearing through the door, Lily let out a sigh, glad the plan had worked. You went down to the common room, not looking at anyone as you went to the boy’s staircase and up to their room. You knocked once on the door before entering. James was sitting on his bed and he grinned widely when he saw you, Sirius was laying on the floor next to Remus who was resting his head on the other boy’s shoulder. 

“Y/N!” James greeted, leaping up.

“Nice shirt,” Sirius stated with a loud laugh. You mustered a small smile and looked around the room.

“Where’s the fire?” 

“No fire.” James admitted, coming to stand in front of you, your face fell. 

“What?” 

“We just wanted to see you, make sure you were alright.” You frowned. They tricked you. 

“I’m fine,” You snapped slightly, but James wasn’t deterred. “I was laying in bed. Fine.” 

“Well you can do that here, too.” He assured, and the other two boys nodded eagerly. You considered your options. Go back to your dorm and lay alone in your own bed, with your own stuff, or you could lay down in James’ bed for a bit, being entertained by the people whom you loved most. 

“Fine,” you sighed, “I’ll stay.” James grinned and took your hands, leading you over to his bed. You sat down and he sat beside you, putting an arm around your shoulder. You pulled the covers up from the foot of his bed, and laid down, wrapping them around you and James. James laid beside you, pulling you close to him. 

“Hey, no fair, I wanna join,” Sirius said, scrambling off the floor and pulling Remus with him. How they planned on doing that was beyond you, it was a twin sized bed for Merlin’s sake. You all stood up momentarily, trying to figure out this puzzle. Eventually Sirius laid down, allowing Remus to lay across his body, James plopping down next to Sirius before pulling you on top of him. You chuckled softly and pulled the blanket over all of you, snuggling into James’ chest and wrapping an arm around Remus who hugged you back. You were a mess of limbs in the tiny bed. James wrapped both his arms around you, one hand rubbing your back as the other one played with your hair. Remus held your one hand and Sirius clung to the other, his free arm wrapped around Remus. 

“We need to pull another prank soon, people are gonna think we went soft.” Sirius was the first to break the comfortable silence. 

“No one is gonna think you lot went soft.” You chuckled. 

“If they saw this, they would.” Remus snickered and you giggled. James and Sirius both frowned. 

“We’re not soft!” James argued. You made like you were going to get up, smirking.

“Then we better stop cuddling,”

“NO!” He cried out, pulling you back down into him, pushing your head onto his chest before dropping a kiss onto the top of your head. “You’re not going anywhere.” You smiled to yourself and yawned. 

“But I’m sleepy.” You whined.

“So sleep.” James mocked you, whining back. 

“Here?” You asked, slightly surprised. 

“Course, you’ve been hiding from us for three days now, you’re not leaving my sight.” You smiled and nuzzled your nose into the crook of his neck, planting a small kiss there. 

“You’re the best, all of you.” 

“I know,” Sirius grinned, reaching out to pat you on the head. 

“You’re the best, dear.” Remus corrected, looking at you with warm eyes. 

“Shucks, Remmy, you’ll make me blush.” You smiled.

“Of course, don’t tell the others but you’re my favorite.” James scoffed and Sirius frowned. 

“I thought I was your favorite!” 

“No, you’re the biggest pain in the arse,” He corrected him. 

“And I’m the prettiest,” James decided, batting his eyelashes.

“And Remmy is the nicest.” You added, yawning again. James pulled the blankets tighter around you all, kissing your head again. 

“Go to bed, love.” He murmured against your hair, and you yawned once more, letting your eyes fall shut. 

“Only because you asked so kindly, Jamie.” 

“I love when you call me that.” He smiled, resting his head on Sirius’s shoulder, who turned his head to kiss James on the side of his head before turning to kiss Remus on the top of his. 

“Oi, Y/N, come ‘ere. Can’t reach you. Get your kiss goodnight.” You scoot over in the bed, craning your neck so Sirius could kiss you on the cheek before collapsing back into James. 

“Goodnight, love you all.” You whispered. 

“Love you too,” James murmured. Remus took your hand again and squeezed it tightly. 

“I love you.” He stated. 

“I love you all more,” Sirius grinned causing everyone to giggle. You were happy, for the first time in days. You drifted off into the most restful sleep you have ever had, listening to James’ heart beating beneath you. You had no idea how you got so bloody lucky, to be surrounded by the people you loved, who loved you back entirely and fiercely. You all slept like that, in one big pile of cuddling. Arms around each other, faces nuzzled into necks and crooks, legs tangled. You were the luckiest girl in the entire world.

[wronqness99]

Our Treasure

This scenario was requested by @usernameloaa​ I hope you like it!

> About my writing

Genre: Angst, fluff

Warnings: ---

Word Count: 1053

Characters: Eunhyuk (Super Junior)/Lee Hyukjae x Fem!Reader

*The image doesn’t belong to me, credits to the owner.*

Hyukjae had had an incredibly tiring day at work discussing about directing SEVENTEEN's upcoming concert after their comeback with their agency and settling the final details with the members then he ran over to SM so he wouldn't be late to help Donghae with recording a demo version of a new song he had written for their D&E album and finally both of them took off for Super Junior's dance practice which ended up taking almost six hours.

The male got home way after dinner time, his only wish was to lay in his bed and finally allow himself to relax.

Finally walking into his room he saw his wife sitting in bed with her back resting on the wooden frame knitting a small sweater for their little man that could come any day now. The thought brought a smile to his face, making him forget a little about his hectic day, those two people being his escape from reality, their house the only place he could just be himself without worrying to impress. However, the atmosphere had grown tense over the last couple of weeks, with his wife insisting for him to reduce his workload both for his own health and for the fact that the baby could come any day now and she was afraid she'd be alone when the time came, which caused the to get in arguments more often than he wished.

"Honey, you're home," his wife spoke, making his head pound. He nodded, walking into the closet to get some clothes to wear for bed after showering.

"Have you eaten?" She asked, rubbing her nine-month pregnant tummy in hopes to reduce the soreness of their son's heavy kicking.

"No, I'm not that hungry, I'm super tired, though. Just want to take a shower and sleep."

"You shouldn't sleep without eating anything yeobo, it's bad for you. You left early and worked hard the entire da-"

"For fuck's sake Y/N, will you shut up?!" He half screamed, making his own head hurt even more. "I've had a hell of a busy day, my head feels like it could explode! All I want is to fucking shower and get in bed, can you not nag? Damn it!"

Y/N was taken aback by his sudden outburst. She blinked a couple of times, voice dying down at her throat as she tried to come back to her senses. The woman saw her husband walk in the bathroom and close the door, soon hearing the water start running in the shower.

Deciding to brush it off, the woman put the yarn aside and laid down to sleep. However, only a few minutes later Y/N found herself starving 'the perks of being pregnant' she thought and chuckled, shaking her head. With a bit of difficulty, the woman got on her feet and walked out of the room to go grab a snack.

Having finished his quick shower, Hyukjae walked back into the room and wasn't surprised to see the bed empty, thinking Y/N was probably mad at him for his sudden outburst earlier and went to sleep on the guest bedroom.  

He sighed and ran a hand through his hair before deciding to go and apologize to her. Stepping foot out of the room he saw Y/N walking towards the stairs supporting her back with her left hand while the other held her bump to help her see where her feet should go. Making his way towards her, his heart skipped a beat and his eyes widened as Hyukjae watched her misplace a foot and lose her balance, causing her to almost fall. Hadn't he been quick enough to hold her body against his own he didn't even want to imagine what could have happened.

The man held Y/N and didn't let go, only holding her closer to him as he tried to get them both to calm down from the scare. Y/N placed her hands on her husband's chest, putting some distance between them.

"Are you okay? Is our baby okay? I'm so sorry Y/N, I shouldn't have screamed at you. Please don't go to sleep in the spare room, it's my fault, I'm sorry. Because of me you and the baby were at risk." He ranted nervously getting mad at himself. Y/N placed her hand on his lips catching his attention and finally getting her husband to stop talking.

"Yes Hyukjae, you did wrong, it's good you know that, but I am not mad." She stated. "You had a stressful day, it happens. Just please don't repeat that again. I know we've been arguing and things have been weird but if I speak it's because I worry about you and I care. What will I do if the baby arrives and my husband is not in good health?"

Hyukjae's heart warmed listening to his wife's words. He was aware of all that but he couldn't find it in himself to oppose or even mention the workload his agency put on him. "I know, I'm sorry... I have to grow a pair and speak with the agency, I want to be home with you when our son decides it's time to meet us. Plus after this, I don't think it's safe to leave you here alone." He stated, " But... If you are not mad why are you going to our spare bedroom?" He questioned furrowing his eyebrows.

"I'm not. Me and baby just got really hungry and I couldn't sleep so I need to go to the kitchen to get us some food." She clarified placing her hand on top of her bump as her cheeks burned a bright pink. Hyukjae chuckled as he felt his son's kick in his own stomach as if he was backing up his mother's story. "As if I'm not a walking whale already." She stated shyly.

Hyukjae shook his head and placed both his hands on Y/N's tummy "Daddy is so sorry he was mean to mommy and disregarded you both, I promise it won't happen again. And forgive your mommy for she doesn't know what she says," He spoke to their sprout. "She hasn't realized yet that she's growing the biggest treasure of our lives." He stated lovingly, his eyes never leaving his lover's.

"Now let's go down so I can feed both my loves."

MASTERLIST

[akari-hope]

Not sure why you think that wlw are more shunned, viewed as predatory, and otherwise demonized than mlm relationships, particularly enemies to lovers dynamics? Sapphics are by and large wayyyyy more well-received than mlm. Sapphics are seen as soft and harmless and lovely even when they’re fighting, while mlm are seen as dirty and emasculated and generally viewed with complete disgust.

i said that mlm are FETISHIZED more in enemies to lovers dynamics than wlw. wlw are more DEMONIZED than mlm in enemies to lovers dynamics. and i gave clear examples of dynamics that reflect this in that post, so i'm not pulling this out of my ass. neither is good. both are bad. they're just different kinds of bad. i'm pretty sure i made that clear but if i didn't, i'm restating it now - NEITHER MLM NOR WLW ARE TREATED WELL IN MEDIA REGARDLESS OF DYNAMIC. THIS IS NOT OPPRESSION OLYMPICS. DIFFERENT PROBLEMS DOES NOT EQUAL BETTER PROBLEMS.

i am, however, a lesbian, and i'm going to be able to speak more coherently and authentically to the sapphic representation and general treatment of women in media than anything else. it's my firsthand experience and it's always going to be easier and more accurate than my musings on the experiences of other groups of people. and given that i have a particular fondness for enemies to lovers dynamics, of course i'm bound to contemplate sapphic enemies to lovers dynamics specifically.

but if we must dance this dance bc you decided to take a bad faith interpretation of my words, women have to do more to be loved in media, and they have to do far less to be hated. this is a fact plain and simple, and if you can't acknowledge that we are not even remotely on the same page. You can look at ANY piece of media and see this is true. the supernatural fandom's treatment of basically any women vs. the kingdom hearts fandom's treatment of kairi vs. the naruto fandom's treatment of sakura. etc. etc. etc. i could name examples all day. these are women who, yes, have shoddy writing, but instead of getting the same treatment of a male character with shoddy writing - immediately getting fleshed out by fans - they get set aside as annoying, bitchy, mary sues, etc. even female characters with GOOD writing will get this treatment, a la lightning farron from final fantasy xiii. male characters with the SAME EXACT TRAITS are often beloved by fans. easy example, see cloud strife from final fantasy vii, who shares a hysterically huge amount of personality traits with lightning farron.

and this is BEFORE we even get into the discussion of being sapphic, or god forbid any other type of minority. traditionally beautiful white cishet women who are feminine and kind are the only women to ever pass for general audiences, and even then it's not consistent. women must be "palatable". versus white men, who are allowed to be dark, messy, gritty, murderers, even genocidal dictators and still be beloved by fans. and yes, the qualifier of white is necessary here - men of color, especially black men, do not get this same generosity from fans, and you bet your fucking ass it goes triple for women of color.

and again, this is BEFORE WE EVEN FACTOR IN BEING GAY OR MENTALLY ILL OR ANY OTHER FACTORS. THIS IS ASSUMING ALL CHARACTERS ARE CISHET AND NEUROTYPICAL.

women are "soft and harmless and lovely" as you put it when they fight...if they're fucking tifa lockhart. if they're feminine and sweet and cute normally, or at least perceived that way. if they look like they're out of madoka magica (and oops not even then, bc you bet your ASS there's insane demonization of miss homura akemi). and also, friendly reminder, that "soft and harmless and lovely" thing isn't a compliment. it's fucking infantilizing at best.

for sheer simplicity's sake, to compare two ships that are on a relatively equal playing field in terms of representation, i'm going to take a look at the general reception of goro akechi/ren amamiya from persona 5 (i'm using ren as his name for simplicity's sake) and madoka kaname/homura akemi from madoka magica.

some brief context for both: both are heavily queercoded, homura is initially introduced as an antagonistic character but it is later revealed to not be the case, akechi is initially introduced as a friendly character but it is later revealed to not be the case, and both homura and akechi have clear and intense struggles with trauma and other mental health issues.

judging by what i've said, from your own logic, surely homura is a widely beloved and not at all vilified character. after all, she's feminine, she's not REALLY a villain, and she's got sympathetic motivations. right? wrong. homura is widely beloved... by sapphics. but even people who LIKE THE SHOW DO NOT ALWAYS LIKE HER. homura was WIDELY hated and discoursed back when the show first aired. you still get people who hate her. and even more frustrating, despite the blatant, you-absolutely-cannot-miss-it queercoding, sapphic fans of the show still have to argue that it's not just "girls being friends". it's not even a true enemies to lovers setup, and you still cannot escape homura being called toxic and predatory.

now let's take a brief look at akechi and ren. like previously stated, akechi is revealed to be an antagonist later in the story. and when he is, he tries to shoot ren in the head and frame it as a suicide. this is, quite obviously, a lot different from homura and madoka, where homura never even directly fights madoka. surely by your logic, akechi would be widely seen as a villain, unforgivable, horrendously terrible? well he most certainly isn't. he's one of if not the most beloved characters by fans. his relationship with ren is more often than not read as romantic, and it's practically treated as canon by a large majority.

and like i previously stated, i am not saying the mlm example i've given is without issues - akechi/ren is highly sexualized and fetishized. it's just a very DIFFERENT problem from the vilification that wlw characters often receive. and i am not saying that mlm are NEVER vilified. i am simply saying the large, overarching trend in fandom is to be forgiving of men, and unforgiving of women.

i simply do NOT see mlm ships get the same treatment in this regard to wlw ships. sora/riku from kingdom hearts and catra/adora from she-ra have...practically the same narrative in many ways. childhood friends separated by a worldwide conflict, becoming enemies, fighting each other multiple times, arguably with intent to kill, eventually saving each other and finding a way to reconcile in order to emerge victorious against the true villain. riku and catra are strikingly alike, as are sora and adora. but riku is once again a fan favorite character. and catra has received backlash after backlash after backlash. i hardly even post about she-ra anymore and i STILL get people in my inbox talking about catra discourse!!

again, i'm NOT saying the script is never reversed. there's not really anything to be won by making absolute statements like that. i'm just saying that i have never seen it, and even on the odd chance that i do it's never as severe.

once again - yes mlm characters face backlash. no one is saying they do not. but it is different backlash. i am specifically discussing the fan reception of wlw characters and ships bc that is my personal experience. different problems do not equal better problems.

i'm tired of bad faith interpretations of my posts. unless you want to have a respectful and thoughtful conversation (which i AM open to), don't come at me with boldfaced accusations.

[recurring-polynya]

I have to say I knew that at one point renji, ikkaku, yumichika and iba were in the same squad with kenpachi but good god you managed to paint a beautiful picture for me. I simply assumed that for them it was simply party time all the time along with a few bald jokes but this is much better. Emotionally healthy squad 11 which still love fighting more than anything. I always cringed when someone would just describe them as hooligans that do nothing but fighting. I mean they do that too but I love the idea that they are all emotionally healthy and mature, a loving and supportive family to their own - in their own wakka doodoo kind of way thats endearing - and of course they are in my opinion they single capable force against sexisim. Because they don't care about anything else - gendere, sexuality, gender performances, race, mentality or anything - other than if you fight good you respectable and if you fight good in squad 11 you family. ( like when kenpachi just became captain he made yachiru his lieutenant and no one was against it no one thought it was beneath them, sure thru nag at her sometimes but that's mostly in a banter like way because she call them stupid nicknames but no one hates her for being unrightfully their superior. One day they got a new captain and a new lieutenant that's a child and they just went with it.) I admit their disdain and disrespect to squad 4 is still frowned upon but I do believe some squad 4s can handle their own, it's just that we saw the really peaceful ones. Anyways sorry for ranting. Just wanted to say that yeah, I really like how the past squad 11 with iba and renji in it was a great place in general. I think if they found out some one was being sexist - for whatever reason - they would be there right next to nanao - or iba's mom protesting. Kenpachi and yachiru as well. And that makes me want to be squad 11 ,despite not being much for fighting, so bad.

So, for starters, thanks! I try to have fun whenever I write Squad 11, and I’m glad you enjoy my take on them.

My Squad 11 is just... really not very canon, though. Canon Squad 11 is actually pretty gross and sexist. Yumichika is transphobic, Kenpachi makes homophobic remarks about Yumichika, they bully Squad 4, there’s a filler episode devoted to a guy that Ikkaku bullied for, like 100 years because the guy lost his reiatsu saving Ikkaku’s dumb ass.

When you write fanfic, you occasionally run into these more problematic aspects of the source media, and you can choose to dig in and analyze them, or just... remake them in your own way. Take for example, Gin. If you read fanfic about Gin, there are some people who will peel away the layers of him and his fears and insecurities and still make him be a horrible gremlin, and it’s really stellar writing. Other people prefer to write him in an AU where maybe less bad stuff happened to him, and he’s more mischievous than sociopathic, and this is a less meaty interpretation, but it’s also more fun. Sometimes fanfic is a meal and sometimes it’s candy. It fulfills different needs and different fantasies and all of it is welcome.

Yumichika, who for me is the fulcrum of Squad 11, presents this problem. I really don’t like the way his “appreciation for beauty” plays out in canon. He doesn’t actually appreciate beauty, he just likes telling other people they’re ugly. I don’t think he’s ever pointed out beauty in anyone else aside from himself or his zanpakutou. I remember the first time I watched his fight with Charlotte and it struck me as so off -- why wouldn’t he find her beautiful? I mean, I know it’s a transmysogynistic joke, that’s why, men dressed as women is funny, hurr hurr, but Yumichika is gender nonconforming himself. This was an opportunity to make a cool character point, and Kubo took the cheap laughs road instead. Going back to what I said last paragraph, a skilled writer could, in theory, write about his insecurities and his brittleness and meanness and write a pretty compelling story, but a) Kubo certainly doesn’t, and I have never actually found a Yumichika-centric fanfic of this nature, and b) this doesn’t fit the role I need him to play in my stories. I am rarely really interested in writing about Squad 11 for its own sake. I like to write them as a backdrop for the period of Renji’s afterlife where he hit absolute rock bottom and bounced back up again. We already know the role Ikkaku played in this, except that Ikkaku is a complete moron in terms of mental health, and I really, really felt like this is where Yumichika needed to come in.

I like to massage Yumichika’s character a bit, but I do want to keep the flavor of some of his character flaws-- he’s still shallow and mean and judgy, and I love that for him, but I like to add in a positive side to his appreciation for beauty. Having Yumichika make fun of Izuru’s pores is funny but it’s even funnier if he’s just given Renji a compliment on his hair first. The idea that a Yumichika compliment is attainable makes all his drags the more vicious. Yumichika also judged people by their beauty instead of their moral character, which is humorous to me. He dislikes Byakuya as a person, but is obsessed with his haircare regime. I like to have him treat Rangiku as an equal, beauty-wise, and a person whose opinion he respects based on her aesthetic. Rangiku is actually a pretty savvy and very emotionally intelligent person whom many people write off because she likes to present herself as a lazy airhead, so in an extremely convoluted way, this all works out. I like to think that Yumichika’s ideas of beauty are also caught up in boldness and risk-taking and having one’s outward presentation ring true to their inner self. To me, this is the core of why he loves Ikkaku. To him, Ikkaku’s devotion to doing the most Ikkaku thing at all times, no matter how stupid, is irresistibly sexy. 

Aside: At some point, I decided that the fact that a lot of people in Bleach have colorful marks on their faces and elaborate hairstyle and accessory games implied that make-up in Soul Society is gender neutral. I like to think there is actually more of a divide between the nobility, who like their make-up to follow rules and be classy, and, well, Squad 11, who like to get make-up ideas from Jem and the Holograms. I don’t even wear makeup (I don’t know how and it’s expensive and I am ashamed of myself, we can talk about my own gender presentation later) but I like to write about both my male and female characters wearing make-up. I don’t actually know how my readers feel about it, but it just falls under the “Is that what people want?”/“It’s what we do” philosophy of all my writing.

I think one of the theses of my writing is that middle management is more important to the character of a squad than the person at the top. Captains sort of act as ideals to strive for, but they are generally unapproachable for one reason or another. Yachiru is more like her captain in this respect (which makes sense, since she is, in fact part of her captain). Ikkaku and Yumichika present this dual idea that 1) strength is awesome, fighting and being the best is awesome, and 2) part of strength is presenting yourself to the world in a bold and confrontational way. (The fact that both of them are hiding huge parts of themselves is laughably ironic). Kenpachi and Yachiru are shining examples of Do Whatever You Want and Be So Strong That No One Can Stop You. 

What really makes this work is that you need someone one layer down-- does anyone actually subscribe to this nonsense, and that’s why Iba - Abarai Squad 11 is Best Squad 11. I really, really enjoy the genre of Reddit posts where a total bro will find out that his girlfriend is trans and react by becoming a vehement advocate for trans rights. I love the bodybuilders typing encouragement to each other meme. Our world is flooded with disingenuous messages from concern trolls trying to tell us why being kind and inclusive to one another is bad or that you should reject help because struggle makes you stronger and the idea of a Himbo looking at something like that and saying “that seems dumb" is delightful to me.

I actually feel like there are a lot of awful people with bad ideas in Squad 11, it’s just that Renji and Iba don’t put up with their shit, and over time, that becomes the culture of Squad 11. I think that Squad 11 has incredibly turnover, but the ones who stay are the ones who subscribe to the ideas you mentioned-- fighting is what matters, if you wanna go argue about shit, go join Squad 5. In the IkkaYumi story I wrote, which happens shortly after Zaraki takes over, a ton of people leave. The Bount Arc (which I know a lot of people skipped) features a dude who was extremely pissed off because he had liked the old Kenpachi and thought Zaraki sucked and was so mad about it that he betrayed Soul Society. You might think that this arc would feature Zaraki caring about this in some way shape or form, but he really didn’t. So, I think there are a lot of Soul Reapers that took issue with serving under a little girl as a vice captain, they just aren’t in Squad 11 anymore.

Oh, one last note on Iba’s mom. I am of an age where a number of my friends have mothers who were Second Wave Feminists. The moms in question are a real mixed bag, because they Came From a Different Time, and on one hand, you have to respect what they went through, and on the other hand, they are very difficult to get along with. I liked the idea that Iba has always chafed against his mom and her big personality, and then Renji comes in, and is like, “hey, your mom is strong as hell and she has a lot of ideas that I never thought of but they make sense” and Iba realizes that, even though she’s still a huge pain in his ass, his mom is the person who made him who he is. Moms are complex.

Uhhhh, I have definitely lost the thread of wherever I was going with this post. Thank you for enjoying my Squad 11, which is nothing like canon Squad 11. Hopefully maybe this year, I will actually finish my Squad 11 Self Care story, where Renji stops being a drunk disaster person after Yumichika teaches him how to fill his brows; I got stuck on a part where Rangiku gives Renji a talk on ethical sluttery.

[langernameohnebedeutung]

I’m probably parrotting to the wrong choir here, but at least part of the truth about liking villains vs. condemning villains is...I don’t consume villain content in order to find healthy coping strategies and genuine life advice. I don’t look for healthy coping strategies in sci-fi films and fantasy books or on ao3 in the first place, because 99% of all that input is not produced by people that a) intent or b) are qualified to give meaningful life advice.

 Sometimes things we read or watch can be detrimental to our mental health or can make us happier or mean a lot to us. And that is also why it is important to tag, warn, and summarise content: So that people can avoid things that are bad for them and find things that comfort them. But what popular fiction never is, is a clear, intentional, professional, and universal guide.

 We already talked about how even the most horrible people will read novels where they resemble the bad guys and identify with the good guys instead rather than reflecting their own behaviour. That is, because narratives need stakes. The hero needs to be David, not Goliath. And we too see ourselves as Goliath, in our lives. Because there are always things that are bigger than us. And because we know that David will win.

 But sometimes...sometimes it is quite nice to feel like the giant. Especially when we’re used to feeling small.

 Sure “I like this villain because villains get to do things we want to but can’t” might seem like a tiny brained answer, but if you expand a little, there is truth to it: Sometimes I want to see someone go bloody ape-shit in response to trauma, injustice, being underestimated or forgotten. Sometimes I want to see someone just care about themselves and burn the whole place down and look fabulous doing it, because I know, that in real-life, very often it is sympathy and empathy holding me back for even insisting on minor and very rational things, simply because I don’t want to be a burden on others and because I prioritise other people very highly. There is catharsis in that; in seeing someone getting it out of their system in the most violent way possible just like there is catharsis in going for a run or punching the hell out of a punching bag when you’re frustrated even though you would never chase down and beat up a person.

Because even when see characters standing up for themselves - think of the infamous internet rage over Captain Marvel stealing that bike from the dude that harassed her – their actions are usually centred around punishing the culprit, not the emotions of the party that was wronged. But people got angry. Not because she stole a car, or because she stole it from a men even – but because her acting in response to sexual harassment connected the scene with deep roots of social context and political opinions and expectations.

And, despite hundreds, maybe thousands of films in existence where a white male protagonist steals a car or bike or anything else to save the day, she is read as a villain here simply for doing the rational thing. Much less could she have killed him and burnt down his house, because she is a hero and it doesn’t serve the plot and that would not be the thing a hero does.

A villain burning the whole joint down because someone looked at them funny is acting selfishly, self-centred. But what are you going to do, call them a villain? Duh. Complain about how what they’re doing is wrong? Well, yes.

 The lane of their actions is not narrowed by the actions of the culprit on the one side (heroes have to react appropriately and proportionally) and the expectations of the good-guy on the other (they have to act in accordance with forwarding the plot). Which means putting up with an asshole sidekick or apologising if they undergo character development that makes them a ‘better’ person and requires them to forgive someone). You might have your odd Logan who will throw a punch when he’s pissed – but here we already venture into the territory of an anti-hero.

And personally, our anger, our disappointment, all that will always be much more contained than any fictional space - by our financial situation, the people we depend on, our job, our studies, or family, our social circle. We live in a web of social expectations that we depend on every moment of our life.

Fiction itself also exists in a web of social context: What influence does it have on the audience? Will it sell? What implications does it have? How does it present its characters? Who is the author and what do they stand for? - but the fictional space, aka the world constructed in a novel, is wholly separate:

If I write a novel where I state that every Canadian person likes the colour blue and wears funny hats, then this is true in the universe of that novel, no matter what any Canadian reader might feel about it. This means two things:

1.       As writers, producers, and even as producers of fan-content, we have to be critical about what we put into the world, because by creating a fictional space, we create characters who cannot stand up against the things we say about them or make them do. Just like the superheroine in the skimpy outfit who gets her powers through the sun shining down on her nipples cannot have an authentic discussion about her body. And when young girls read our comic and see that all the male heroes are clothed and the heroine isn’t, then we are the one that came up with the sunshine-nipples.

2.       Our very own, personal interpretation of the novel – even our own - and the way we relate to it is our own. The feelings we project on the characters are individual, personal, and shaped by us.

And yes, villains usually see their comeuppance. And the thing is, many people argue here: “Well, it’s okay if the villain does x, as long as they’re punished for it.” But...that’s a difficult subject. A piece of fiction can condemn the actions of the villain without seeing them lose – the challenge to the writer is to still form a satisfying narrative, because the villain winning is the ‘likely’-seeming thing that every narrative subverts when the hero levels up and returns with her new friends to kick the villain’s ass. But even if you sympathise with the villain, seeing them win would still be an unsatisfying narrative, most of the time.

Because the whole point of an actual evil villain - and sympathising with an actual villain - is that what they’re doing is unjust. Malicious. Selfish. And projecting your desire to strike back or stand up on a villain and seeking catharsis through seeing them go wild and tear down the city needs the pushback. For them burning down the house to be satisfying, you need to see the house burn. For them to blow up the house of parliament to be satisfying – you must see the explosion.

And watching them lose provides the ultimate, necessary gravitas. Watching Team Rocket fly off with Pikachu and live happily ever after on Team Rocket money would not be satisfying. Watching our super-villain burn the world to a crisp with their death-laser would not be satisfying if they just end up getting their rocket and flying off while drinking space-mojitos.

Whether they end up being redeemed or not: The initial moment that someone fights back and defeats them at the height of their immorality and prevents the suffering of innocents is the moment that their willingness and readiness to commit violence is put to the test.

 We know the hero goes through a journey of their own - one that requires sacrifice and steels their commitment until they are ready to take on the villain. And knowing that someone is willing to make sacrifices to be able to take the villain down is the ultimate acknowledgement of the transgressive act the villain committed. Without it, it would be empty. Like watching someone punch the air.

But the truth is also that when you recreate the fictional space in another, secondary space – fanfiction, fan content, fanart – you decide what to focus on. Like, we all enjoy hurt/comfort stories, but they have a different intention than something focussed on action or the growth of the hero – because that requires for us to see the villain go down. The focus is no longer the transgressive acts of the villain – but to lay bare the pain that caused them. It is no longer about beating them down for the sake of justice.

Like, when I make a post about Frankenstein’s monster living happily ever after and people tell me that hey, the monster killed a lot of people - then we have a different premise. Because me not adding a line about the evil things the monster did to my post was based on the premise that you knew that random tumblr user langernameohnebedeutung does not condone the crime of murder because she posts about a 200-year-old book. And the #fact that my point doesn’t construct an ending where the monster stands in front of a judge and is sentenced to a certain time in jail or punished by a more heroic person is because I have daddy issues and seeing a giant creature go on a rampage through Europe to get back at its asshole Dad in a way I never could makes me quite happy the novel focussing on its acts of violence already did this and my post clearly had a different intention.

[hale-13]

Euarthropoda

By Hale13

For the Summer of Whump Day 9 - Bugs

Peter enjoys visiting Tony out at the lake house - even though his mentor insists on going hiking.

Words: 1924, Chapters: 1/1 (Complete), Language: English

Fandoms: Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)

Rating: Gen

Relationships: Peter Parker & Tony Stark

Characters: Peter Parker, Tony Stark

TW: Light Discussion of Mental Health

Read on AO3 or below the line break.

“A hike?” Peter asked, his voice dubious and still heavy with sleep. Tony had dragged him out of bed at an ungodly hour to shove a homemade breakfast with all the fixings down his throat before their supposed foray into the ‘great outdoors’.

“A hike,” his mentor confirmed, putting an ungodly amount of ketchup and sriracha on his omelet, making Peter crinkle his nose in disgust. “Eat up! We want to get out there early so we aren’t out in the hottest part of the day.”

“Maybe you haven’t noticed,” Peter pointed out, talking around a mouthful of hash browns with grilled onions – it still blew him away that the Tony Stark he remembered severely burnt or set everything on fire before the Snap but now was perfectly capable of cooking a delicious meal. Wild. “But neither of us is what one might call ‘outdoorsy’,” Peter pointed out, air quotes included, adding another mound of bacon and sausage to his plate when Tony nudged the platter closer.

“Sure we are!” Tony protested. “You spend most of your day outside and I live at a lake house.”

“First of all,” Peter said imperiously, using his fork to point at this mentor and speaking with his mouth full. “Living at a lake house doesn’t mean that you’re suddenly a skilled outdoorsman. It just means that you have money. And second,” Peter continued, speaking louder over Tony’s spluttering, “I spend no time outside at all whatsoever.”

“Lies and slander,” Tony argued. “I’ve seen the logs for your suit so I know just how much you aren’t in your apartment no matter what you tell May.”

Peter threw his arms up in indignation. “Time in the suit does not equate to time spent in the wilderness! It’s climate controlled for fuck’s sake.”

“Language,” Tony admonished with a glance toward the stairs. Morgan had a penchant for creeping around to eavesdrop and had picked up lots of new… vocabulary… that she was all too pleased to teach her multitude of friends at school much to her teacher’s anger, Pepper’s embarrassed rage and Tony’s chagrin. Peter just rolled his eyes – he had super hearing, he would know if Morgan was creeping up on them. “Finish your breakfast.”

“Ugh,” Peter groaned but gave in. He knew a losing battle when he saw one – he was pretty stubborn but, if anyone could beat him out, it was Tony Stark. “Where are we even going?”

“Just around the lake,” Tony answered, spreading Nutella liberally on his toast. “It’s a few miles and I realized I hadn’t shown you the trails yet.”

Peter hummed and looked out the window where the watery light from the early morning sun was cascading over the kitchen and leaving long shadows. It was so much quieter here than the city, the only noise coming from the birds and the gentle lapping of the water from the lake onto the shore. It really was a beautiful place and, despite his verbal protests, Peter actually wasn’t that upset about spending a quiet morning walking around the shore of the lake and relaxing – it had been a rough week of Spider-Manning and he was ready for a break.

“Pete?” Tony asked, pulling him from his musings. “We don’t actually have to go if you really don’t want to. You know that right?”

“I know,” Peter reassured him. “I think I do want to.” Tony gave him a bright smile before grabbing his empty plate to put in the dishwasher.

“Go get changed,” the man said. “I’ll meet you by the dock in a few minutes once I get this put away,” he gestured to the few dirty dishes left on the table, completely empty due to Peter’s voracious metabolism.

“Sure,” Peter agreed. “I’ll do my best not to wake up Mo.”

“Oh God,” Tony groaned. “Please do. We’ll never get out of here if she wakes up.”

Peter laughed, leaving the kitchen to climb up the stairs and enter his room. It was supposed to be a warm day so he pulled on a pair of shorts and a worn out tank top along with a pair of beat up sneakers. Tony was already down by the dock when Peter made his way outside, stretching out his calves, two HydroFlasks sitting in the dirt next to him.

“Ready?” Tony asked, tossing him a bottle which Peter caught easily.

“Yep,” he agreed, stretching his own arms over his head to pop his back and release the tension in his shoulders that was a constant from all of his web-slinging. Tony set an easy pace, following the dirt trail around the lake and Peter fell into step next to him, their conversation light and lulling into comfortable silence in some places as they hiked, just taking in the scenery.

The area truly was stunning; an uncovered gem that Tony had been lucky to find. Land like this didn’t sit around unoccupied for long in the upstate area and Peter could see himself – one da, hopefully – retiring somewhere similar. Maybe Tony would let him build a house out here someday, he was certainly developing a taste for peace and quiet.

“May said you’d had a tough week,” Tony finally brought up lightly, confirming Peter’s suspicions for the alone time away from curious and meddling ears. The two were the absolute worst gossips at their bi-weekly co-parenting lunches – Peter was just lucky Happy hadn’t started joining them since he and May had started dating. Peter wouldn’t get away with anything if all three of them were involved.

Peter mulled the question over for a few minutes before shrugging, deciding to try for nonchalant. “It wasn’t great but I’m okay,” he finally conceded, voice carefully light.

“You can talk to me Webs,” Tony said carefully, his tone neutral. “If anyone knows what this business is like its me.”

They continued in silence for a minute more before Peter stopped in the path and leaned against one of the trees overlooking the lake, watching a Great Blue Heron wade in the shallows a few hundred feet from them pursuing its next meal. “I lost somebody,” he ground out. “I was right there and I’d already webbed up the bad guy but I guess one of his arms was free enough to still aim and fire his gun and…” Peter sniffed, eyes dry but stinging.

Tony sighed but didn’t offer any platitudes. “It sucks and it’s not fair,” he agreed, reaching out a hand to squeeze Peter’s shoulder quickly in solidarity. “And its going to happen again; all that matters is how you handle it. How are you handling it?”

“Mostly by punching a brick wall until I break my knuckles,” Peter admitted, carefully not looking at his mentor’s facial expression which he knew would be disapproving – Tony wasn’t really a fan of Peter’s penchant for using pain and violence to work through his emotions. He held up his right hand though, allowing the man to inspect the unmarred skin and healed bones without protest knowing he would be fighting a losing battle.

“I think we should talk about healthy coping mechanisms again,” Tony joked without humor. “Because this isn’t it.”

“I know,” Peter admitted.

“You give any more thought to my offer?” And Peter had. After the ‘Blip’ both Tony and May had tried to talk Peter into seeing one of the therapists the Avengers had on retainer. His identity would remain secure and he could vent and develop healthy coping mechanisms. Work through some of the issues he knew that he was repressing. Figure out how to deal with the PTSD WebMD told him he had. He had refused them a couple times over the months he had been back but now…

“I‘ve thought about it,” he admitted.

“And?” Tony asked, voice patient but with a hopeful undercurrent he couldn’t quite hide.

“I’ll try it,” Peter agreed, grunting in surprise when Tony pulled him into a firm hug that Peter leaned into, returning it with equal force and closing his eyes to rest his forehead on Tony’s flesh shoulder, tension he didn’t know he was carrying releasing from his muscles.

“I’m so proud of you kiddo,” the man whispered into his ear and Peter felt a watery smile pull up his cheekbones.

“Thanks,” he said as he pulled back to meet Tony’s eyes only for his mentor to be looking at Peter’s shoulder instead of his face. Peter knit his brows in confusion. “Tony?”

“Hold still Pete,” he said, gesturing to Peter’s shoulder. “Got a little wolf spider on you. I’ll get it.”

“A WHAT!” Peter screeched, jumping backwards and yanking his tank top off, ripping it to shreds and tossing it before running his hands over his arms, hair standing on end and skin crawling like he was covered in bugs.

“Uh,” Tony said, looking caught between laughter and confusion. “You okay bud?”

“I HATE spiders,” Peter said, shuddering and climbing halfway up the tree behind him to get away from his shirt on the ground and the arachnid that may still be in it. He was taking no chances. “Aren’t you going to kill it?”

“Kill it?” Tony asked faintly before letting out a snort. “Hate to break it to you Pete, but we’re in his territory not the other way around.”

“He lost the chance to live when he climbed on me,” Peter spat out venomously, eyes still locked on the shirt. He wasn’t letting the little bastard escape. “Can you please just kill it?”

“Pretty sure you flung him halfway to the city already,” Tony choked out around his laughter, picking up Peter’s discarded shirt and shaking it out to check it. “Think your shirt is toast.”

“You’re sure its gone?” Peter asked suspiciously, still perched on the trunk of the tree and feeling over his arms to make sure it wasn’t still on him.

“Yes Peter, Christ. Can you get down from there?” Peter narrowed his eyes but dropped back to the ground, scanning the area nervously. His Spidey sense was tingling uncomfortably from the adrenaline that was working its way through his system. Tony looked him over for a second to make sure he was okay before letting out a snort and then bursting into laughter. “Spider-Man afraid of spiders. Oh this is good!”

“Yeah yeah,” Peter grumbled, crossing his arms over his bare chest and feeling his cheeks heat up. “Laugh it up.”

“Aw its okay buddy!” Tony said, draping his arm around Peter’s shoulders and pulling him back down the path toward the cabin. “We all have at least one irrational fear. Say,” he said, voice teasing, “does May kill them all for you at home?”

“Hell no!” Peter said, shaking his head. “She’s worse than me – Ben always had to handle the various vermin that would come in the apartment uninvited.”

“So what do you two do? Go ask a neighbor?” Tony teased, lightly elbowing Peter in the ribs and causing him to scowl. “Scream until someone comes running? Call Happy?”

“We just… leave. You know, let it do it’s thing. Then we come home and are just really uncomfortable for a few days,” he said squirming a little in discomfort at the thought.

Tony let out a bark of bright laughter, pulling Peter into a side hug. “We can work on something to help you with that later in the lab I think.”

“Please,” Peter agreed in pure relief, following along back towards the house and keeping a weary eye on his surroundings… just in case.

[whatisthiswritingthing]

Can we make it very angst? But like, that I'm going to cry reading it, please?

So... back in time to Rio Olys: R was dating Carli and Hope for two years, BUT, the two were growing kind of annoyed with her because she was younger than them, like five years younger, and they seemed to get annoyed of every detail that they loved before, but they didn't want to break up because they really loved her and thought it was just a phase that would pass soon enough, the problem is in the meantime they pushed R to the side, like very bad, so R decided that she was going to get a trade to some club in Europe -which she did, but didn't tell anybody this- somehow the news came up right before the start of the game against Sweden and everyone got on edge because of it, especially H and C, so they have an argument in the lockroom and R being out of her game because she didn't expect that reaction from the team loses an easy goal that could give them the lead, after that she gets a red for a sloppy tackle, everybody knows that they lose the game and bye bye Olys, right? And then they blame R because of their loss and they blame R because of Hope suspension and then they argue very very very bad using a bunch of R's insecurities to hurt her, so she packs her things and disappears from their lives, refusing every call up and try to contact her.

Time skip to 2019 post world cup where R signs a short contract with Houston Dash and everybody is surprised about it, her comeback to the NWSL and all, but SURPRISE she's coming back so she can be near her new girlfriend Kristie Mewis! They met while Kristie was playing for Bayern and their relationship was just perfect, like so perfect that she got the biggest of smiles everytime she just thinks about Kristie, and they know everything about each other, every little detail and they're so happy, they don't show it to the others though.

2020 comes and R stays at Houston, no covid please, vehemently avoiding every contact the NT players try to have with her, but then we get the Challenge Cup and Kristie is called to the NT while they insist in call R up too and for their surprise she accepts it and goes with Kristie.

Hope is now the GK coach and Carli is Carli and the team is just trying to apologize to her about what happened back in time while Hope and Carli are shaken up because they have realized that they love her and then they trie to apologize too and get her back and R one night, in the middle of camp, because her just can take so much, stands up clapping her hands while Kristie is trying to calm her down and R yells "What happened is in the past where it should stay, I don't care if you all regretted all the cruel things you told me, I really don't, it doesn't matter for me anymore, live with it! I'm here because it's my place, I'm one of the bests and I've being proving it every single fucking day no matter where I am, own up to your mistakes, forgive yourselves and go on, because our relationship is extremely professional, I don't want to grab coffee with any of you in the mornings or do team bondings just fro the fun of it, I'm here to work, to practice, to play and to win and nothing more, so live me alone already because that's very tiring! And, oh, Carli, Hope, you had your chances, you thought what you thought and you said what you said, I don't feel anything towards the two of you now, honestly, I don't feel anything towards any of you for a long time because what you did with me, hahaha, was just so low, so dirty, so shameful, I don't even know how to begin explain what that did to my mental health, to me, fortunately I'm lucky enough to have found really good friends that I cherish the company, and a really really really lovely fiance that very soon I'll be calling my wife and I love her so so so much that every time I think about her I think I'll explode because she's just so perfect and amazing and patient and everything you couldn't be to me, so leave me alone for God's sake and go live your lives!"

And then Kristie pulls her in a really tight embrace saying she loves her and kissing her forehead while checking to see if she's okay and the team realizes who the fiance is and Sam is shocked for not knowing about it and goes on and on.

If you don't want to write it, I totally understand and it's really okay, but if you do write, thank u very much, I really appreciate it and make me cry :)

I really like this idea, I’ll definitely write it.

I’ll probably make a few tweaks to it when I get to writing it though. The speech will for sure probably change depending on how I write the whole fight/blow up scene

[punksarahreese]

“tipsy” for reesker pls 🥺 maybe them just drinking and being cute? 🥺 (you can choose an au if u want or just do it for regular med!!)

A continuation of this oneshot

Also I’m sorry this took literal months to finish gsjskd but confident, tipsy Sarah is the best <3

***

"Ava~"

Ava smiled at the familiar voice that was suddenly in her ear, tearing her away from the story Natalie was telling.

"Darling," she smiled at her fiancée, "Where’d you disappear to?"

"Crockett ‘n’ I went to go play..." Sarah trailed off as she had to think for a moment, "Pool!"

Ava laughed at the proud look on her face, her cheeks reddened and eyes not staying focused on Ava’s face for very long. Sarah was drunk, a little past tipsy at that point, and it was rather amusing. The resident didn’t drink often and Ava knew she was a bit of a lightweight, which was pretty evident considering she had maybe two drinks over the past couple hours. She could also just be feeding off the carefree atmosphere and not actually be that drunk, nevertheless it was nice to see her girlfriend let go and have fun.

Before Ava could really react, Sarah had wiggled her way between the table and her girlfriend, promptly plopping down on her lap. Ava had to laugh again, shifting her a bit so her pelvis wasn’t digging into her thigh. Sarah just smiled cheekily at her, showing no sign of getting up any time soon.

Natalie hadn’t seemed bothered by the intrusion, though April and Connor were both rather amused. It wasn’t every day that the psychiatrist was openly affectionate with her girlfriend in public, both of them pretty against PDA. Still, the atmosphere of their party felt safe and welcoming, plus the amount of alcohol in Sarah’s bloodstream probably helped. So in that moment Ava had no qualms about wrapping her arms securely around Sarah’s waist, the familiar scent of her perfume calming what was left of her nerves. She had been getting more comfortable around her fiancée’s friends from the ED, though she still felt a bit out of place when Sarah wasn’t around. She wasn’t too sure how they all felt about her, so having Sarah there as a buffer made Ava feel a bit more secure.

After Natalie’s story was finished, April and her began discussing a patient they had that day whose symptoms confused them. Ava was trying her best to focus, though it was a bit hard given her current situation. Sarah had turned partially in her lap, tucking her head in the crook of Ava’s neck like she often did at home. Their friends had clearly noticed her clinging, April smiling smugly because she liked to see Sarah so comfortable around them, but didn’t say anything. Ava didn’t either, even when her girlfriend started fiddling with a strand of her hair that has started to escape from the meticulous twist she had pulled it into earlier.

“His blood pressure plummeted at one point,” Nat was explaining, “And considering he’s only fifteen with no pre-existing heart condition, we were confused.”

Ava nodded, “That is odd. Did you start him on fludrocortisone?”

“We wanted to,” April couldn’t help but roll her eyes, “Will tried to argue that it would only harm the patient.”

“That’s daft,” Ava had long since had an unspoken problem with how Will Halstead addressed certain cases, “For sudden hypotension like that, increasing blood volume is the best course of treatment in the short term.”

“I love when you talk medical,” Sarah mumbled, making her shiver a little because her lips brushed against Ava’s neck as she spoke. This surprised everyone, Sarah’s current confidence clearly a novelty. Connor couldn’t help but laugh because the flustered look that made its way across Ava’s face was also something they didn’t have the pleasure of seeing often. It was as if the alcohol had made them switch temperaments, which was amusing to say the least.

“Something to share, Reese?”

“Connor, don’t,” Ava rolled her eyes, not ready for whatever teasing was about to come about the situation. Sarah on the other hand just sat up a bit, smiling proudly at her friends.

“Yeah, my wife is like… really hot,” she punctuated her point with a sure nod, “Especially when she talks all medical… pretty accent.”

That had everyone at the table laughing, sending Ava’s cheeks flaming when Sarah concluded her statement by clumsily pressing a kiss to her cheek. She wouldn’t ever complain about affection from Sarah, of course, but it was out of both of their comfort zones to be like this in front of friends. She also knew Connor would never let her live this down, already way too comfortable with teasing Ava about being so soft for her girlfriend.

“Am I wrong?” Sarah raised an eyebrow at the response and shook her head, “Avey’s the smartest and the most beautiful, actually.”

“Avey~” April chuckled, earning herself a half hearted glare from the surgeon in question. No one had called her that nickname in years, not since she was twelve probably, no one except Sarah. She let it slide because all nicknames from her girlfriend were enough to make her melt, but she hated when her friends saw that as a chance to pester her about it. They would never let her live, if she was being honest, because to them Ava being so apparently soft was still a rarity.

“Okay, someone has had enough to drink,” Ava said firmly, taking the glass from Sarah that she had swiped from her spot. Sarah didn’t even like whiskey and she knew she would want Ava to cut her off before she did something she would regret later, but the resident still whined a little in protest. Ava managed to get the drink away from her, though she was met with a puppy-eyed pout.

“Sarah,” she said incredulously, knowing she was trying to use her effect on Ava to her advantage. She was downright cute when she wanted to be and she knew her fiancée agreed, a feat that drunk Sarah thought would get her everywhere.

Ava just sighed when she continued pouting, her finger’s curling into the dark fabric of her dress sleeve. Ava knew what she wanted and the others had seemed to have changed the subject, ignoring the scene in front of them for the sake of Ava’s sanity. It couldn’t hurt, she decided, letting Sarah pull her down into a quick kiss.

She had been wanting to kiss her all night, after all. It was only fair because Sarah looked stunning in her costume and the sinful neckline of her blouse had been distractingly at the forefront of Ava’s mind for hours. She tried not to think too much about it, for her own health; besides, she could deal with that later.

Ava pulled back first, mostly because she knew Sarah wouldn’t and they were still with their friends. She knew they were staring again and she figured that her lipstick was probably smudged at that point. She had to hide her face a little because Crockett had decided that exact moment was the time to approach their group. He, in true Crockett fashion, wolf-whistled teasingly at them which had Ava blushing for the umpteenth time.

Sarah just grinned proudly, arms wrapping securely around her neck, “Mine.”

“We know, Reese,” Crockett said with a laugh at her serious expression, “She’s all yours.”

That was when Ava decided that tipsy Sarah was both a blessing and a curse. She certainly helped Ava get out of her comfort zone, so she couldn’t complain too much. Still, Ava could only imagine the teasing they would both face when sober at work after the weekend. All she could do was laugh a little in embarrassment, hiding her face in Sarah’s shoulder a little as the subject slowly went back to whatever story Crockett came by to tell.

[i-dont-want-your-hysteria]

a message.

This whole post is full of things I’ve wanted to say for a very long time. So yes, this is going to be very long.

Before I begin, I just wanted to say I’m sorry to the innocent people who had nothing to do with this. I’ve never ever been involved with online/fandom drama before, I hate being in this position so fucking much with all my heart and soul, and I never thought in my whole life that I’d be in this position, either.

Secondly, this is about the DEF LEPPARD FANDOM ON TUMBLR. If you’re not part of this fandom, kindly fuck off :^) This is not about you.

This post explains why I feel this way. And to those innocent people who aren’t involved with this, I’m sincerely sorry if any of this has changed your opinions of me.

I’m in a mood and a half, so I’ll do my best to effectively tell everything from my perspective. Read if you want, but this is just what I’m thinking.

I’ve been running this blog for almost three years now. When I first joined this fandom on tumblr at the beginning of 2018, there wasn’t really a ‘fandom’ per se; all the main blogs were dead, no one ever really posted, and there wasn’t much content. I decided to start a DL blog of my own to vent my love into it and not spam my main account. 

Within a month, I could quickly see that some sort of renaissance was happening in this fandom; more blogs were popping up, more people were posting, and more people were just participating in general. There were memes now, there were conversations now- it was great! There was a real community; it was all about sharing information, spewing our love, getting creative, and interacting! 

There was integrity, and there was respect for the band as well as one another.

I, as part of this community, wanted to do everything in my physical power to contribute in any way I could. I was insanely active and hyper-productive and could not be stopped. I still haven’t stopped, but I certainly have slowed down significantly (due to lack of new activity from the band and increased mental health issues I won’t get into). I don’t want to be self-centered and say that I was “running” this branch of the fandom for the past 2.7 years, but I was certainly a big player in it, and I feel everyone agreed (and some still agree) with that as well.

There were some times where disagreements happened. There were times where many of us knew that someone else was crossing a line in a post. We knew what qualified as “not okay” in terms of being perverted and such. We’d solve this by not blaming, not hounding, not sending anon hate, not calling out, but by presenting facts, talking maturely, and trying to right the wrongs as maturely as we could.

Yes, it was possible. Was.

I don’t think you guys realize just how much content I’ve contributed to this fandom. I have spent basically every single day of the past 3-ish years trying to spread information/content/photos/videos/links/etc. to everyone who follows me (and everyone who doesn’t). This fandom was (and I cannot stress this enough), literally my entire life for the past 3 odd years, and I really wanted to spend the rest of my life contributing to it the way I’ve been.

I don't think anyone on here realizes everything that I have done for this community. Because of me:

this fandom has access to Animal Instinct for free

this fandom has access to the rare picture disc interview

this fandom has numerous scans of photos that may have not ended up online otherwise (I also paid $70 to have access to some of these. You're welcome.)

we have Fabulist Icons content

we have a decent amount of fanfiction that doesn't only focus on the boys banging each other/sex in general (seriously, this simply didn’t exist on here before I started posting my shit)

we have a little more fan art

we have content from Phil's and Ross's books

we have hundreds (yes, literally, HUNDREDS) of edits/moodboards/memes/etc. that I made myself

we have gifsets of things that no one else would have made

we have achieved justice a lot of the time when content was stolen because I have defended everyone without question/rallied up armies the second I heard it happened

some of you have gotten updates on news/facts/history/details/etc. that you’ve never even heard of

probably a shit ton more things, but that’s all I can think of for now. You get the point.

But that’s only half the story. This band and fandom has given me so much to cherish over the past few years.

Because of this fandom and the people (that were once) in it, I have:

met Rick in person

met, quite honestly, my two best friends ever, @ballistic-lipstick-dream-machine (my true Terror Twin) and @paper-sxn (adopted little sister/cousin)

became in contact with Phil's guitar tech from the mid-80s (Mike)

gained creative ambition to play guitar, create art, write stories, make edits/gifs, travel, and basically just better myself

began a record collection that is now in the hundreds and gained a lot of knowledge from it

discovered a whole new genre of music

found a community/culture where, for the very very first time in my life, I felt like I BELONGED.

fallen in love with something and someone for the first time

felt like I actually mattered to people, like I was actually important (because people would always come to me for information or help if they needed it)

basically impacted every corner of my life

just about a million other things, too, but I will be here all night if I try to list them all.

To put it delicately: Def Leppard and this fandom on tumblr absolutely changed my life, and was the greatest thing that’s ever happened to me.

I have spread so much information around, you newer people wouldn't imagine. I have gathered and seen so much information, you wouldn't believe how much I know and how much I've learned. I have bounced back and forth between formats time after time again that I feel like I’m stuck in a time warp. I have edited so many things on non-professional programs that I am an MS paint expert. I have been here so long, that I’ve seen 98% of the people in this branch of the fandom rotate in and out at least two or three times. 

That being said, all of the toxic people in this fandom will most likely be gone within the next 6 months. 

Def Leppard has taught me so much, but a big thing was love and loyalty. It's clear that the majority of people in this fandom (read my lips- I am N O T saying anyone’s names. I mean that.) do not know the meanings of either of these words. I've been practically running this fandom on Tumblr for nearly three years now, you’ve seen all that I’ve done for you, and what have I gotten in return?

Slander, cyberbullying, disrespect, consistently stolen content, etc. That’s what I’ve gotten. I’ve never attacked anyone on here, and that is still something I won’t do.

Yes, I am against slash fic, and I can’t believe that THAT’S the only reason why I’m being torn down like this. Something so dumb and immature as that has torn my beloved community in half. I have never attacked ANYONE for writing slash fic, yet I’ve been getting attacked since August (it is November now) for simply believing it is wrong to openly admit you want the boys to fuck each other.

(I’d also like to point out that someone from the KISS fandom ((god knows why)) had the balls to call me “homophobic” for hating slashfic. I can’t even begin to explain how much I laughed at that.)

I just wanna say that these are REAL people you’re writing about, you know. Don’t you think THEY would be against it? I know I cannot stop anyone from writing slash (I’ve said that before, but no one seems to remember it). I don’t think any of you realize that there is a certain line you shouldn’t cross when it comes to the internet, and being perverted in such an explicit and disrespectful way is one of them. We always had integrity in this fandom, and slash was never part of something we stood for. We knew when to stop, and we kept the slash on rockfic.com (where it belongs imo. That’s like their element).

I was very confused when more slash fics started appearing on tumblr this year. Now, it seems like that’s all there is, and I’m disgusted.

Whenever something close to that happened in 2018, everyone would be totally against it, and we’d talk it out and explain. While we all had our fair share of horny (and maybe then some) in this fandom, but we always knew where to draw the line. That was the line. That line doesn’t exist anymore, apparently, and nobody knows how to be mature and respectful to the band, to each other, and just for fuck’s sake. Now, I’m being slammed that being perverted for them fucking their best friends is “just fandom, bitch” and “the norm” and that it’s done “out of respect”, which I will never understand. You can’t use “slash” and “respectful” in the same sentence, and you can’t change my mind, but I know I can’t change yours, either. 

Slash is not, nor will it ever be, respectful. This fandom has become toxic.

Fanfiction is an outlet for creativity to be used for fun, not to be used as an excuse to project your sexually perverted sexuality headcannons/fetishes onto innocent, REAL, LIVE people. If all you write/read is them having sex with each other, then it really makes you wonder if it’s about ��respect” anymore, doesn’t it?

In my opinion it’s fucked up that it’s “normal” and “just part of fandom” to create sexualities for- again- REAL, LIVE PEOPLE, and it’s everyone’s first instinct to argue that it’s fine, apparently? If you “respect” your idols so much like you claim you do, then why don’t you maybe respect their actual orientations instead of creating masturbation material for random 12 year olds and boomers, perhaps?

I don’t know what I did that was so fucking wrong in your eyes, as I’ve always tried to keep integrity in this area of tumblr. 

I'm very deeply hurt, more than I've ever been by this. It physically hurts me to admit that this fandom has become as toxic as it currently is. I don’t feel welcome here anymore at all, despite practically running things on here for so long.

I don’t know how I could ever live without this fandom, but now it looks like I’m going to have to try, or at least try and rebuild it on my own (again). I don’t think I’ll ever be able to stop posting about Def Leppard, and after all, I only started posting about them for myself to begin with.

We were supposed to be the good fandom, the happy fandom, the fandom with no drama. I am ashamed to be associated with you now. I tried to stop it as best as I could, and hoped people would back me up, but I’ve received nothing but hate for simply trying to preserve some dignity.

You guys have been immature to say the least, and I find it very hard to believe that some of you are legal adults (but let’s be honest; most of you toxic people are probably too young to even be behind a computer, anyway). 

I’ve had to block some people that I really didn’t want to, but the deed is done. Keep your slash to yourself, tag it, do a read more, post it somewhere else, even- that’s how you co-exist. Just don’t come after me because I think it’s wrong. I never came after anyone specifically like that.

This isn’t goodbye, but I certainly am leaving for a while. I hope I got my point, my history, and my perspective across.

And I hope you’re fucking happy, because you’ve destroyed something I loved.

-Rachel

[inkribbon796]

A Diamond in the Rough Ch. 3

Chapter 3: A Gift

Summary: The chapter in which Eric gets some much needed protection and Damien attempts another surprise adoption.

A/N: A story in which Damien and Patton share the same brain cell, and it says to adopt the sad child.

Chapters: 1, 2, 3

Eventually Eric was able to tell a little bit of what had happened. Dark had killed his father in front of him, and he was scared and his hands wouldn’t stop aching and tingling. Randall’s mother came in to help try and calm him down. Patton did pass on the message to the other heroes before going back inside and using his powers to help calm Eric down again. It resulted in him falling asleep from exhaustion.

Logan wound up calling in with information, after looking through several police reports they found out that Eric was the survivor of an accident that killed his brother and that Derek was suspected of working for Dark but the police hadn’t been able to prove it.

Currently the only thing the doctors could prove was that while Eric didn’t have evidence of being stabbed, he had a lot of old and recent bruises. And that was making Patton overprotective and unhappy, wanting to coddle and smother Eric in love but was unable to for a multitude of reasons.

Logan was standing in his outfit, trying to “reason with him” while the two were in the lobby. “We cannot adopt him, he is a teenager and most likely has extended family, he is a witness in a murder investigation.”

“Yeah, but he’s so sad,” Patton smiled and tried to continue to argue his point.

“Marie Curie and her notebook,” Logan groaned. “This is why we don’t let you be around children.”

“Princey wants and sidekick and Silver and Jackie both have one,” Patton gave a huge smile.

“No,” Logan cut in to stomp that out. “No. No! We are not taking on an apprentice. I can barely corral you and Princey, I am not adding a literal child to those complications.”

“Aww, come on, it’d be great,” Patton continued.

“No, I am figuratively putting my foot down,” Logan said and distantly he heard the faint ringing of Dark’s aura and signaled an alarm. “Dark is here, we’ll continue this at a later time.”

The two Sides followed the staticky, ringing aura until they found Dark outside of Eric’s room.

“Halt!” Logan ordered him. “What do you think you’re doing here?”

“A surprise adoption,” Dark’s blue soul answered, not-so-helpfully, despite the heroes not being able to hear him or him being able to talk to them.

“Don’t start!” Dark’s red soul pushed him out of the way.

“That’s none of your business,” Dark managed to say despite the fact his twin souls were fighting with each other, his form splintering and fracturing. Which gave an unintended nefarious air to his words.

“You’re here to kill him aren’t you?” Patton accused.

“Of course not,” Dark told him in a rare moment of honesty. He didn’t want to kill the young Derekson boy; he wanted to add him to what Anti often referred to as Dark’s “hoard”.

Dark’s blue soul was quickly winning out and Dark knew he was losing against the impulse to take the Derekson kid and just run off with him. He was already planning on introducing him to Illinois and Kay first, Bim and Arthur were a bit too high energy for a first introduction.

“You can’t have him, you fiend,” Patton proclaimed loudly and bravely.

“You really are insufferable,” Dark told him.

Silver flew down the other side of the hallway, braced for a fight.

“Why are you looking for a kid?” Silver demanded.

“You should mind your own business,” Dark scoffed.

“Not in the job description,” Silver smiled, pulling up his fists. “Let’s dance, Darkcus.”

Dark scowled at him, looking about ready to literally hiss at him and he jumped at him, his aura curling around him.

“I’ll get him out, you make sure people are safe,” Silver called at the two Sides who were already going towards Eric’s door. Patton rushed in to find Randall’s mother not in the room.

“Where should we move them?” Patton asked as Logan closed the door, the quick entrance and the loud conversation had woken both Randall and Eric up, Eric easily getting disoriented at the unfamiliar scenario.

“No, while he’s still out there it is unsafe for anyone to move,” Logan warned. “I’ve already contacted the hospital staff to help Ms. Voorhees to get up here safely when Dark is removed from the floor.”

“What’s goin’ on here?” Randall demanded groggily.

“No, everything’s fine,” Patton promised, at the same moment that Silver came through the left wall, being thrown through by Dark.

Dark stepped through the hole, looked frustrated and very disgruntled, aura a shrill ringing.

Eric let out a squeak of terror and Randall huddled next to Eric.

“I’m not going to kill him,” Dark straightened his tie. “Killing a child is beneath me.”

“That doesn’t discount the numerous things that could happen to a child under your quote-unquote care,” Logan responded.

Dark let out a long sigh, swiping the fringe of his hair to the side as a quick slew of memories of everything that his Lost Ones had done while they’d been living in the Manor. He waved his hand and a large portal opened up and dropped all of them, along with everything in the room, into a currently unused construction site. One that Marvin was currently not at because he was still at the hospital currently ten miles away.

“There, now that pesky magician isn’t in the way,” Dark growled, cracking his neck in agitation, flattening out the already pristine front of his suit coat. “I really should get around to killing him one of these days.”

Eric looked around wildly, his IV and monitor no longer hooked up and the young teen started to slip into a panic.

Silver was already moving, “I’ve got—”

Dark had already grabbed, his aura had a crushing grip on the monochrome hero’s ankle, tugging him back, “Go away!”

The hero was flung up towards the half finished ceiling and because Silver was super sturdy and already moving quickly a couple pieces of rebar came loose, chunks of concrete still and started tipping over.

For all the adults, things were moving in slow motion and Dark let go of Silver to try and reach out in time with a portal but only half of it fell in and but because of its positioning a piece of concrete broke off from where the rebar hit the portal and fell right on top of the teens.

It hit Randall square on the back, Dark let out a horrified gasp that fortunately for Dark’s reputation — but not his nerves — Patton’s equally horrified gasp was much louder and he was closer to Logan so the other Side didn’t hear Dark.

For the heroes’ sakes, and for Eric’s as well, when it hit Randall it activated a superpower in him and the concret just fell apart like it was made of flimsy plaster. All the heroes just froze, Dark felt a chill of relief come over him and he held a portal over the teens to keep any more debris from falling over on top of them. Randall felt like his whole body was on pins and needles.

His only thought was: “Never before have I been so happy to see superpowers.”

All it looked like to the heroes was that Dark was planning something. Silver flew at him and slammed into Dark as Logan and Patton raced for the two teens, hurrying to. Pull them away from the site as Jackie and Marvin rushed in. They stayed in-between Dark, and Eric and Randall.

Dark snarled at him, “Fine! Pests, the lot of you! I did that boy a favor!”

Then there was a flash of a portal and Dark was gone. All the heroes stayed braced for an attack. When it didn’t come after a couple minutes, Silver and Jackie rushed to take the teens back to the hospital where the staff and Randall’s mother were very anxiously waiting for them.

Without any other physical wounds to treat, and confirmation that Dark was his father’s killer. The police got what scarce information they could.

Then Marvin was left to talk to Eric, and it took a little bit before the very skittish teen warmed up enough to him to even look at him.

Marvin smiled, “Don’t worry, we’re not gonna let anythin’ happen ta yah.”

Eric managed a small, sad smile, trying to hope that maybe they were right.

That maybe, just maybe his luck was finally turning around.

After Eric was deemed healthy enough to leave the heroes decided that for safety’s sake and security they could keep Eric living at the base, he wasn’t the only person living there. He would repeatedly meet with social services and a doctor as a follow up for health and wellness checks until they could find any other family. Randall’s mother offered to take him in if they couldn’t. But it was determined that until Dark stopped hunting for him, he would stay at the base and learn to control his explosive powers.

Silver even offered to help teach Randall to control his super strength, and with very tentative permission from his mother, training dates were set.

Immediately upon bringing Eric to the base, Bing and Logan took one look at the prosthetics he had, then they both looked at each other. Logan’s eyebrow was raised and Bing took off his glasses to take pictures of it.

“Who has been letting the little dude use these?” Bing commented.

“How soon could we procure replacements?” Logan asked.

“Procure nuthin’,” Bing boasted. “I could build better.”

“Maybe others could also be made in the process,” Logan proposed. “The holidays are coming up.”

“I like how yah think,” Bing smiled, putting his sunglasses back on. “Let me just get some measurements from the little dude, yah think he would like some rocket shoes?”

“How about we do not include such modifications?” Logan told him as they went to go and find Eric to get some leg measurements. It would take Bing a week to make some custom prosthetics for Eric. Some nanites embedded into it to help it react to whatever terrain or environments he was in.

Upon receiving them, Eric would burst into tears, almost too afraid to touch them for fear of breaking them but after an impromptu stress test where Bing demonstrated that short of an atomizer he couldn’t possibly break the new prosthetics, Eric took them and put them on.

Eric took some time getting used to his new prosthetics, but found that like his new life he would grow into it quite nicely.

[master-sass-blast]

Front Lines.

Summary:  Given the immense violence law enforcement keeps showing towards those protesting the death of George Floyd and the systemic racism infecting the law enforcement system, the X-Men decide to help protect the protesting groups -and you and Piotr are right there with them on the front lines.

Pairings: Piotr Rasputin x Reader.

Rating: G.

Warnings: Mentions of police brutality, heavily reflects the current political/social situation in the United States, but NO scenes of violence.

Set after “It’s Truly Magical,”  but this one's kinda outside the canon timeline; if the protests hadn't popped up, this fic wouldn't have happened. I doubt it'll be mentioned in other fics or used as a timeline measuring point, but Piotr's mentioned as your husband in this, so it's after the wedding/honeymoon.

Author’s Note: Just to be clear, this isn't me coming back from my hiatus. However, given the protests and the particularly depraved nature of Mr. Floyd's death, I did want to make it clear where I stood --and where the series stands, in particular.

The X-Men, as far as I'm concerned, would never take an idle role in letting the police brutalize protesters. They would stand and protect the crowds and do what they could to ensure that the citizens involved in the (non-violent) protests were as safe as possible. This series doesn't view them or their role as protectors any differently.

Granted, I didn't write a quarantine fic --and I'm not going to. It's the result of an entirely different set of problems, has at least impacted certain communities to some extent on a unilateral level, and -frankly--I'm too stressed out over Coronavirus to want to commemorate a fic to it.

This is different. The history of racism and abuse towards African-American communities --towards all communities of color--in America is far too longstanding. There may be good cops, but the law enforcement system and justice system as a whole are corrupted, abusive husks of what they were intended to be.

I don't want the protests --specifically, what the correct side of the protests were--to be forgotten. Hopefully, this fic will help ensure that they aren't.

I also didn't include any scenes of what happens during the protest or on the front lines because, frankly, I don't think it's my place to. I don't want to set any sort of tones predicting how a protest would turn out; I also don't want there to be any sort of debate over whether it "ought" to end peacefully or not. Also, I think that, while unfortunately realistic, including potential scenes of police brutality would be highly traumatic for any readers, so... Yeah. No protest scene. No recap of how it went. Those aren't the important parts, in my opinion. Feel free to disagree, but it won't change the fic or my stance on what ought to be included in it.

If you are participating in any protests, demonstrations, or marches, please use your best judgement and stay safe. Don't do anything that would unnecessarily put yourself or others at risk. (And yes, I know, the protests have inherent risk because of how the police forces are responding to protesters. All I mean is don't go out of your way to do something risky, please.)

Black Lives Matter.

No taglist for this fic. That’s not what this is about.

There’s a lot of fear. A lot of hesitation and questioning and second-guessing.

“Okay, say we go,” Russell pipes up, breaking the silence that had settled after the Professor’s announcement. “What happens when law enforcement kills another mutant? Or when the government tries to put more restrictions on us? Are these people even going to remember us?”

“Besides, what’s even going to happen to us?” Kitty added, forehead creasing. “We’re all going to be in our suits. We’re easy targets –and the cops already totally hate us.”

It’s understandable, the fear. The doubt. The need for assurance.

You’ve all felt society’s anti-mutant sentiments at more than one point in your lives.

“We’re going to take every precaution necessary to safeguard the members of our group,” Charles states, tone reassuring. “We will not be recklessly risking ourselves or partaking in violent movements. But these protests are important. They reflect law enforcement’s and the government’s ongoing deliberate ignorance to society’s discontent with the status quo –a status quo that impacts mutants, too. And it doesn’t matter if any of the protestors or communities of color remember that we were there. We’ll remember we were there –and, more importantly, we’ll remember that we weren’t.” He pauses, smiles despite the melancholy look in his eyes, and adds, “Sometimes, doing the right thing means there’s no guarantee you’ll gain something from it, even if that something you want isn’t inherently selfish.”

You look up at Piotr, trying to gauge his reaction to everything.

Your husband looks pensive –but also resolute. From the straight set of his shoulders to the determined glint in his baby blue eyes, you can tell he agrees with everything Charles is saying.

Piotr notices you watching him. The corner of his mouth twitches up. He puts an arm around you, kisses the top of your head, then goes back to giving his full attention to those around him.

You lean against him and do the same.

In the end, there’s no way either of you are staying out of this.

***

 The rules are made clear to the nth degree.

First: No member of the X-Men –or those specifically joining the X-Men during the protests—will be armed or interact with law enforcement, members of the National Guard, or other protesters in a violent manner –including partaking in looting and destruction of public and-or private property.

“This protest is about drawing attention to the atrocities suffered by African American communities at the hands of law enforcement, as well as other communities of color,” Charles states, tone brokering no room for retort. “None of us are going to make things more difficult for them or contribute to casting these protests in a negative light. Anyone who refuses to comply will be escorted back to the mansion and held in a safe room until we’re all back before facing further consequences.”

Second: All members of the X-Men participating in the protest will wear last resort masks, both for personal health and the public image of the protests.

“The media’s already trying to treat the protests as a reckless act, given the ones that have devolved into riots and the pertinent Coronavirus threat,” Hank says, pushing his glasses up his nose. “Aside from taking steps to protect the members of our team, we need to make sure we don’t inadvertently expose the protesters to additional criticism.”

Third: Senior members of the X-Men –specifically those with abilities that will let them shield the protesters from potential violence—will stand at the edges of the group. Junior members will stay further in the group with various team leaders for their own safety.

“We have the ability to make sure no one else gets hurt,” Jean says, impassioned. “We need to ensure these people can be heard without risking their safety.

Fourth: Should things devolve into violence, junior members of the team will be promptly taken back to the mansion for their safety. Senior X-Men will stay only as long as necessary to promote the safety of the public, then leave as well.

“We’re not tryin’ to win any fights here,” Logan speaks up when Ellie raises the question of possible rioting. “The only goal is to get people in immediate danger to safety, and then to make sure we all stay safe.”

“But everyone’s going to be in immediate danger,” Ellie argues. “These cops –these soldiers—have guns. And rubber bullets. And –and mace and riot shields and tear gas and—”

“Which is why only senior members would stay, NTW,” Piotr interjects, voice soft and soothing. “And only for short time. We have training to handle dangerous situations and to weigh out who needs immediate help. Everything will be fine.”

“What if we get arrested?” Russell asks, frowning. “Or picked up by the Icebox guys?”

You exchange glances with the other adults in the room. “Pretty sure that’s when Nathan and Wade would break us out of prison.”

“That would be illegal,” Scott says, crossing his arms over his chest. He frowns at you. “The X-Men don’t interact with criminals.”

“Pretty sure the pole up your ass is in violation of the Geneva conventions,” you snap, “but you don’t see any of us whining about it.”

“Measures will be taken to ensure the safety of our fellow mutants –which, for the sake of plausible deniability, will not be discussed at this time,” Charles states, fixing both you and Scott with a stern look. “Are there any other questions?” When there are none, he nods. “Alright. We’ll leave at one in the afternoon tomorrow. Don’t hesitate to come to me with any other queries or concerns before then.”

***

 The crowd is massive. Borderline gargantuan.

“Can we even cover everyone?” you murmur, regarding the throng of demonstrators and signs with concern.

“That’s why we’re here.” Erik lands next to you, along with a few less recognizable –read: “smaller rap sheets”—of his brethren. “To add to the numbers.”

Nathan, Neena, and Wade stroll up to where you’d all parked, along with Piotr’s family members and your uncle.

“We’ve got this covered,” Neena says, squeezing your shoulder reassuringly. “We’re gonna handle it just fine.”

“Is that your way of saying you’ve got a good feeling about this?” you mutter as you eye the litany of cops and National Guard soldiers. “Because I’m not sure even you can swing things in our favor.”

“Doesn’t matter how I feel,” Neena says firmly. “We’ve got it handled because we have to. Plain and simple.”

You hang back as everyone else heads to talk with the protest organizers. You’re not regretting showing up –far from it—but all your scuffles have been with other mutants or the rare team of traffickers, not the people sworn to protect you and this country.

Daunting doesn’t even begin to describe the situation.

“Myshka.” Piotr puts his hand on your back. He’s not armored up yet; he’ll do that at the front of the crowd, when there’s no risk of crushing any feet. “What’s wrong?”

“It’s just… a lot.”

“I know.” He draws you into a hug and kisses your temple. “But you can do this. We all can.”

“I don’t think we can protect everyone if this goes apeshit, honey. There’s a lot of people –on both sides.”

“We’ll do our best,” Piotr says. “That is all we can do.”

You take a deep breath, then nod. You interlock your fingers with his. “Let’s go do our best.”

The two of you walk into the crowd.

[chimswae]

BTS Caretaker Ch3

Summary: She may think she has Bangtan Sonyeondan wrapped around her fingers. She may think it is easy to love the members equally without hurting any soul. She may think the boys wont fall head over heels for her. She assumes it is okay to show a little love and affection towards the boys, what if she gets it all wrong? What if it only brings more complication to her already complicated life? Can she survive their charms? Will she be able to resist them? What if they just wont let her go?

- Pairing: BTS x Oc ( Yoongi x OC, Jungkook x OC)

- Genre: Fluff, Slight Angst, Romance, Idol!au

- Word Count: 2,700

- Author Note: Pure cliche~

Previous | Next

Chapter 3

The clock is ticking. Every time the clock strikes 12 indicating one hour had just passed, Seul’s anxiety doubled in comparison to previous hour. And it repeated itself until the door to the intensive care unit opened widely only to be welcomed with a distress and sombre looking man in his late 50’s. Since Ji Seul just arrived two hours ago, she was not able to meet the doctor in charged so like a reflect Hoon arose from his seat greeting the man in front with a polite bow.

“Family of Hwang Jihyun?” said the man which earned the siblings’ attention right way. They nodded in unison as both looked eager to hear whatever was about to be spilled that moment.

“How’s my mother?” Seul clasped her hand together hoping for some positive answers.

His lips were pressed into a thin line and he heaved a soft sigh “I am afraid her condition is worsening than I expected. I already warned her to be consistent with her weekly treatment, guess she is too busy to do that. May I know is she working or a housewife?” Seul was baffled. She really could not understand what he was trying to deliver at the moment. What treatment was he referring to? As far as she concerned, her mother never mentioned about her being ill.

“I think I am a little confused here, what do you mean by weekly treatment?” Hoon brows perked up in curiosity following her sister gazed to the man in his white attire in front of them. It never dawned to any of them that their mother was ill or at the brink of death.

“I am sorry? Are you not aware of your mother’s condition? She suffered from a kidney failure and it has been a year since she was diagnosed with one. And currently she is still waiting for the donors. That is the sole reason why she must show up for the treatment without skipping any. Her life is depending on it” he fixated his round glasses examining the two teenagers in front of him.

Both Ji Hoon and Ji Seul gasped upon hearing the news. They really had no idea why would their mother lied to them when it was a serious matter. It must be because of the money. Then it finally dawned on her that their mother was so stubborn to keep her job as BTS’s caretaker just because they paid her handsomely. No matter how tiring the job was, she would keep going without reconsidering to quit any.

The man then understood something was off judging from their clueless face, he then continued “I apologized that I am the one who break the news to you but please talk it out with her. She must quit whatever she is doing now and start to pay attention on her health more. Her condition is not favourable to do any tiring activities which required her to move around. It will only drain her more” he patted Hoon’s shoulder with a hint of sympathy and concern.

Seul was losing her words. She really had nothing to say so she chose to shut her mouth tight. As much as she wanted to vent her anger questioning this stupid destiny being set to her family, it was no use. She is the eldest in the family so she had to appear strong and calm. Her heart is shattering apart, and her dam is about to explode by anytime soon.

It wouldn’t do any good to bawl her eyes out in front of Hoon. No matter how annoying Hoon could be, he is her younger brother and a cry baby. If she ever shed tears today, Hoon would follow along. She didn’t want Hoon to witness her weak and fragile side. She had to set a good example to her brother. In the name of her love for this family, Seul would not shed tears tonight. Never.

 ------------------

“Don’t smile, you are still guilty for keeping this from me and Hoon, mother” Seul sighed as she watched her mother ran her fingers between her white hair.

“Hey who is the mother here. You or me?” Mrs Hwang frowned in response.

Seul scoffed “Do not play mother today, I am your guardian and the heir of the family! So I have right to question your despicable action, dear mother” she crossed her arms with a deep sigh.

“Heir? Don’t make me laugh young lady. We don’t even own a building, you are calling yourself an heir. Why so shameless Ji Seul? Aigoo.. Aigoo..” the older woman flicked her daughter forehead annoyed by Seul’s dramatic reaction. Sometimes she wondered how could a young lady like Seul act like a seventy years old grandmother. Her speech could be unreasonable in comparison to her age.

“You should have told us. Don’t you think we at least deserve to know that you are suffering and need help. If you are keeping the pain to yourself, how am I supposed to help. Mother, we are your children, can’t you at least share the loads on your shoulder with us?” she reached out to her mother hand and interlaced it with hers. It felt so cold.

Her mother broke a genuine smile with a hint of fatigue and sadness “Seul-ah, I am your mother there is no way I am pressuring you with my problems. I will be fine don’t worry because having you and Hoon by my side give me strength to go on with life. I am sorry that I keep this away from both of you but I don’t want you to worry about me. It is hard enough for both of you living your life like this” she sighed.

“Don’t say that. We are happy living with you” Hoon pouted in his seat. He moved to take a seat beside Mrs Hwang and wounded his arm around her. He disliked seeing his mother suffered alone, enduring the pain for them when he’s a big boy already. For once, Hoon wanted to quit everything and worked this thing right. Yet, he knew he couldn’t do that because of his mother and Seul. Seul sacrificed her studies so Hoon could graduate high school with zero worries. The least that he could was to graduate and secured a good job in the future.

“Mom, we are family and we care for you. Never lie about your health again, it is worrying us especially when it involves life or death. Your health is not something to gamble. Please listen to us for once, quit your job and concentrate on getting better instead” Seul persuaded.

Hoon nodded as he continued “I can do a part time job, it will be enough to support us at least every month” Mrs Hwang shook her head immediately and her eyes shot open.

“OH GOD NO HOON , you are not allowed to work. This is your final year before graduating, don’t you ever think of working, you hear me!” she swatted Hoon’s hand with a deep growl indicating her disagreement to his foolish idea.

The latter pursed his lips in annoyance “Why can’t i? Nuna is working hard every day for us, so does you. I really want to help for once! I want to contribute in this family as the only man exist here” he exclaimed.

“No means no Ji Hoon. We talked about this before, let us handle the things until you graduate” Mrs Hwang brows creased in anger. Hoon stroked her shoulder with an apologetic look even though deep down inside he never agreed to this rule set by his mother. How irrelevant? Kids at his age nowadays worked to earn money so they could buy things that they desired.

In his case, he wanted to work so he could help the family. He was being noble but his mother didn’t see that as “being noble” instead.

“Fine, I am sorry” Hoon murmured. One thing about Hoon, he was quick to admit his mistake and “sorry” seemed an easy word for him to utter putting Mrs Hwang at ease. At least, her only son listened to her and was born with good manners.

Seul who was silent finally uttered something which caught her mother off guard “I will meet the agency you are working with and let them know about your condition. I am sure they can terminate your contract with them so you can stop coming to the boy’s dorm cleaning after their mess” she suggested.

“NO! What about the boys? Poor boys, I can’t simply terminate the contract. That will get us into trouble and Seul-ah the pay that I earned from this job is hard to obtain from another job. I am not going to let this job go” her mother argued.

“MOM THIS IS NOT THE TIME TO THINK ABOUT THE “POOR” RASCALS FOR GOD SAKE! They are not even your children, why would you care so much! Plus, I can find extra works so don’t you worry, if we put up the works that I do together, it will match the pay that you earn from them” she shrieked in disbelief pinching the bridge of her nose out of frustration. Now now, she need to calm down.

Mrs Hwang moves her forefinger back and forth accompanied by a soft sigh “No that won’t do. You are human not a supersonic creature that can do three to five jobs a day, I’m against that idea! I will keep that job so stop complaining. So in return i promise to get my treatment more frequently” Seul cringed not believing her words.

“You can’t be trusted mother. I reckon you will show up to your treatment if you are going to babysit those babytan” she hissed.

“It is Bangtan, Ji Seul. Manners” she warned.

Hoon scratched the top of his head feeling a little dizzy due to his sister and mother childish fight. It was unnecessary to be honest and they banter like a 10-year-old or maybe even worse than that. So, there you go, Ji Hoon the only man in the family decided to step in and resolved the issues.

“What if…” two pair of eyes were on him as he cleared his throat before finishing his words “What if nuna replaced mom’s place as their caretaker?” he suggested like an innocent puppy. His eyelashes batted innocently watching the two important women in his life having a staring contest which weirded him out.

“THAT IS NOT POSSIBLE” said Ji Seul.

“Oh that is possible” Mrs Hwang eyes twinkled in happiness.

“MOM WHY?” Seul looked flabbergasted at her reaction something that she didn’t expect for sure. She then tore her gaze from the older woman and sent a death glare to Hoon’s direction. If it weren’t for that foul mouth of his, she would not need to hear such crappy suggestion from him. Why would she need to fill in her mother’s place as the rascal’s caretaker when she could simply end the contract in a day?

“Or you prefer me to work as I am still ill? I am alright with that too” she threatened with a playful smirk. Ugh, her mother could be mischievous and pull childish threats from time to time.

“Mom, you are not using that against me!”

“Nuna just do it, plus you wont be meeting the babytan you are practically a ghost there. You only clean and leave right way once you are done with your job” Hoon reasoned.

Seul shot him a glare causing him to press his thin lips together sealing it shut. If looks could kill, Seul would be a serial killer by now.

“At least Hoon has some sense” she caressed Hoon’s back admiring his son for having his back on her.

"Excuse me, i am Ji Seul, 22 and a college dropout and you want me to do what? Babysitting grown up men?" she cowered not trying to make up of her mind pertaining to this job that her mother offered on table.

Mrs Hwang fired back with no hesitation "Not babysitting you are cleaning up the dorms and cook occasionally, it is called a caretaker" Hoon smug proudly of his mother’s statement.

"Cleaning up their mess is not babysitting? Are you serious right now. That is being noble and do i look like super righteous to you?"

"You can’t make luminaries doing chores. They are superstar"

"Superstar or not I’m not doing it.  Ask this babytan whatever terminate your contract so we can live peacefully" 

"It is BANGTAN and they are nice kids!"

"KIDS MY FOOT. I AM YOUR DAUGHTER NOT THEM! GOSH" this really infuriated her. Why her mother was stubborn though she understood the part where it seemed impossible for them to get a good pay like Bighit gave to her mother now. However, it would not hurt to try right?

The bicker was stopped by the sound of the door being opened by one of the nurses. The woman in his early 30’s smiled at their way “Miss Ji, will you come with me for a moment? There are documents need to be signed” Seul arose from her feet with a nod. Hoon and Mrs Hwang watched her figure disappeared from their vicinity and tilted their head in confusion.

Hoon turned to face his mother “Mom, will nuna agrees to the idea? Even so I really don’t want you to work anymore, you need to get your treatment until we find a donor for you” he mumbled sadly.

“Aw, my baby. Don’t worry, your nuna may appear harsh on the outside but she is a kind lady. She always makes a good decision” she tapped his nose with a soft chuckle. She knew Ji Seul so well, that girl would not bear watching her mother work in this condition. She might throw a fit like before at first but at the end of the day, Ji Seul would give in to anything that is the best for their family wellbeing.

------------------

Ji Seul was left speechless. She sat alone on the chairs at the hallways feeling remorse upon scanning the documents a.k.a hospital bills that need to be settled by the end of the month. Funny thing was the total of the bill was not even relevant.

The medical cost nowadays is crazy as hell. Half of it was covered by insurance but they still needed to chip in money to settle the rest of it before due. At this rate, her pay from her exsiting job would not be enough to cover up the medical expenses.

Was this the moment where she needed to agree on babysitting grown up men? How she against the idea of looking after those babytan. It left her with no choice anyways.

To continue her mother’s legacy or to fall into bankruptcy.

Ji Seul clenched her fist gathering the last ounce of her courage, she finally made up her mind. Inhaling a deep breath, she returned to her mother’s room with a forced smile. She knew things that bothering her mind right now could not be a burden to her mother. Her mother had suffered enough, it was her time to repay all the sacrifices that she made.

“what’s the matter?” Hoon brows flinched together in worries.

“I will do it” she blurted out without backing away. If she ever hesitated, she would change her mind again. How easy was it for her to change mind within a second?

“Mmm… do what?” the older woman tried to play fool when she was aware what the young lady in front of her trying to say. Looking clueless as always was Ji Hoon, shifting his gaze from her mother and sister back and forth. He desperately needed to know the answers to this situation.

Seul exasperated a heavy sigh “I will replace you babysitting babytan” she uttered with a heavy heart. Guess, she had to endure this as long as she could earn money to pay for her mother’s medical expenses and their living. It would be all good.

“About time Ji Seul” she cheered with a nod followed by amused Hoon beside.

This work belongs to  Chimswae © 2020. All Rights Reserved.

[writeroutoftime]

bring her home - part 1

pairing: harry potter x reader / young!james potter x reader 

summary: when a time traveling journey goes wrong you find yourself in a time that’s not your own. now you must find your way back home, that is if you truly wish to go back. 

warnings: none 

words: 1439

a/n: this idea is based on @neurobeing‘s post, which is linked here. as soon as I read this imagine, I wanted to turn it into a series, which you can see I have done so here. I am not exactly sure how long this series will be, but please bear with me because I've never made a series before. enjoy the first part and have a fabulous day!

Your POV 

The beginning of your sixth year at Hogwarts brought forth mountains of stress that you were not prepared for. Not only were you overwhelmed by classes designed to prepare you for your N.E.W.T.S the following year, but the constant threat of darkness from Voldemort’s return and the destruction brought upon by his followers weighed heavily on your mind. However, distractions came easily at Hogwarts from not only your fellow housemates, but your close friends and boyfriend. 

One such, November, afternoon you flipped through hastily scribbled out Charms notes, attempting to commit to memory as much as possible for exam the following day. The Gryffindor Common Room was less than half empty, due to most students being in Hogsmede, which made for a quiet studying space. 

As you did so, you laid comfortably against your boyfriend, Harry, who was absorbed within his tattered Potions book. It was hard to hold back the sigh that longed to escape your lips. Ever since the start of the school term, Harry had been so caught up in both his Potions book and his secret lessons with Dumbledore that it felt as though you never saw him. At first, you understood, but soon Harry had almost completely withdrawn himself from his support system. 

It had started out slowly. There were a few missed study dates when he had evening lessons with Dumbledore, which were easy to forgive. Then came missing actual dates because of that damn Potions book, which no one else was allowed to glance at, let alone touch. Finally, Harry begun to miss meals, homework assignments, classes, and you could tell his sleep was also affected. 

With a final thought, you pushed away your Charms notes and looked up at your boyfriend who was so absorbed in what he was reading. His glasses had slid slightly down his nose, and his green eyes so concentrated, wishing to take in every word that he read. However, you, once again, noticed the bags under his eyes and let out an audible sigh, and decided to do something about it. 

“Harry?” you spoke, but didn’t catch his attention. “Harry!” you playfully whined and pushed the book away from his face, causing him to look down at you. 

“What, (y/n)?” he asked, sharply. 

The tone in his voice caused your heart to ache; how close you were to the boy you loved, but you never felt further from him. “Well, I was thinking, why waste this perfectly good Saturday? Let’s put everything away and go down to Hogsmede.” you proposed, hopefully. 

It was obvious that Harry wanted to decline, but he put a smile on his face anyways and silently nodded his agreement. Not ten minutes later were both of you ready to go, and silently walked hand in hand towards the local village. 

At first it seemed that all was going well. Harry had finally loosened up, and you noticed the gleam in both his eyes and smile come back to him; something you hadn’t seen in what felt like weeks. Then, once the local bell rung, signaling that it was already six in the evening, Harry stiffened. He took one last swig of butterbeer, then stood up, ready to leave. 

“Where are you going?” you questioned, not really believing that Harry was about to abandon you during your date. 

Although it was rushed, Harry had a guilty look in his eyes. “I’m sorry, but I have another lesson with Dumbledore. You can walk up with me if you want.” he offered, already on his way to the door. 

“Gee, thanks.” you scoffed and crossed your arms, angerly. 

Harry froze in his spot and turned to look at you. “Is there a problem?” 

Although your brain willed you to keep your mouth shut, your heart had had enough of Harry’s behavior, and everything came to front. “Actually there is, Harry.” you said and tried to keep your voice down, not wanting to have a screaming match in the middle of the Three Broomsticks. 

“I tried to excuse the behavior at the beginning of the year, but I can’t stand it anymore. You are never around, and if you are, you’re absorbed by that damn Potions book! Not only are you neglecting your friends and me, but also your real classes and your health. This can’t go on anymore, Harry.” you exclaimed. 

Harry’s hands clenched together before he spoke. “Do you hear yourself right now, (y/n)? You are being so bloody selfish. I’m here trying to learn how to defeat Voldemort and you’re worried that I’m not paying enough attention to you?” he countered, his voice steadily rising in volume. 

“I’m worried about you for Merlin’s sake!” you shouted back, not caring who in the establishment heard your argument. “I’m watching you destroy yourself for a professor who is pushing you past your limits and doesn’t even care. I know this is important to you, but if you let us in, we can help you Harry.” you pleaded, your hands placed overtop his, desperately. 

“I don’t need your help!” Harry yelled and ripped his hands away from yours, a dangerous gleam in his eyes. “In fact, I don’t need you in my life at all, so just stay away from me from now on!” he shouted and stormed out, leaving you behind shocked, yet fuming silently with anger. 

oOoOo

The following morning, you had still yet to speak, or even look at Harry, since he stormed away from you at the Three Broomsticks. Once he had left, you waited about ten minutes to make your own way make to the castle and locked yourself within your four-poster bed. The rest of the night, Harry’s words had hung heavy on your heart. 

A part of you had hoped that in the morning, he would be waiting to walk you to Charms like always with an apology ready on both of your parts. Unfortunately, you were only greeted with Hermione who smiled at your sympathetically while the two of you walked in silence to Charms, ready for your exam. 

Once in the classroom, you decided you couldn’t stand the sight of Harry and chose to sit at a separate table with Neville, Seamus, and Dean, who seemed to know not to ask how you were doing. As you made your way to their table, you bumped into Malfoy who mumbled something under his breath when you collided, then scurried off to his own seat. Before you could think about it too much, Professor Flitwick had passed out the exam papers. 

Towards the end of the exam, you felt a strange sensation on the necklace that was tucked into your uniform. A quick glance down at it showed nothing out of the ordinary, and you returned to the question you had been on. A few minutes later and the sensation was back, but stronger, and you let out a quiet gasp. Quickly, you looked to see if anyone had noticed, but only saw Malfoy staring at you, before he quickly looked back down at his parchment. 

Once class had finished, you turned in your exam and hurried out of the classroom and found an empty corridor, where you pulled the necklace from underneath your uniform. Upon closer inspection, you couldn’t find anything wrong with the timeturner necklace and sighed in relief that you hadn’t broken a piece of Ministry property. 

Though many of your teachers had argued against it, you had taken a leaf out of Hermione’s book from three years ago and loaded up on classes to prepare for your N.E.W.T.S. However, the amount of classes you wished to take did not all fit into one schedule, so with Dumbledore’s permission you were gifted the only other timeturner you knew existed in order to take all your classes. 

Not worrying about the sensation you had previously felt with the timeturner, you quickly spun the hourglass three times to go back in time to take your Ancient Ruins class. However, instead of the normal drop of your stomach you got when traveling back in time, you instantly felt sick and as though you would pass out at any moment as time wound back and the room spun. 

oOoOo

When the spinning ceased, you found yourself on the floor of a busy corridor, with a person standing above you. Relief flooded through your veins when you looked up at the familiar face. “Harry!” 

“Are you alright?” 

The pounding in your head signaled you were not alright and you rubbed the source of the headache, confused. “Harry, uh, what happened?” you asked. 

“Sorry, love, but I’m not Harry. I’m James, James Potter. Why have I never seen your face around here?” 

[loveforpreserumsteve]

Those Who Fall: “APTF” Story (Modern Domestic Stucky AU)

Thirty-Two:

Steve considered their haul a success. Enough pictures to fill a whole wall of their day's adventure. Enough apples to make crisp, pies, and fried battered apple rings. Enough pumpkins for everyone to carve a pumpkin of their own and a few to spare.

Now all they had to do was carry it all into the house.

"Steven, I swear to god, if you don't get your stubborn ass away from those pumpkins," Bucky threatened, huffing as he just carried his fifth large pumpkin up to the main floor.

Defiant, Steve argued, "I can carry a god damn pumpkin, James."

Struggling, Steve's arms immediately ached as soon as he lifted the pumpkin. In no way was it the biggest pumpkin. If Steve was being honest with himself, he'd admit that it was one of the smaller ones. Which made it all the more pathetic that he was already starting to break a sweat and breathe erratically.

"You are so fucking stubborn," Bucky complained, taking the pumpkin from Steve. Shaking his head, Bucky started carrying the pumpkin upstairs to the main level, "You're trying to kill me. I'm positive. You are trying to send me to an early grave all because you don't care about your own health the way you should."

"Why should I care when you care enough for the both of us?" Steve mocked, following his husband.

At the landing, Bucky turned to look at Steve. Giving him A Look that made Steve's stomach churn uncomfortably. It was the look that confirmed he was completely outraged, but to the point where he was calm. Typically, it usually came out whenever Steve talked poorly about himself or refused to take care of his health. A Look that hid just how hurt and scared Bucky was.

The first time that he had seen that look was back when Steve suggested they break up because he was being stalked and didn't want Bucky mixed up in that.

When Jonas, Vis, and Luke headed for the stairs, Bucky moved out of the way. Steve tried to follow the teens back to the lower level, but Bucky grabbed onto his elbow, pulling him away from the staircase. Entering the living room where they had moved the furniture to the side, Bucky set the pumpkin down on the large blue tarp they placed on the hardwood floor.

"That's Katie's pumpkin!" Ethan joked.

"Is that so?" Katie feigned offense, pulling the six year old in and tickling him. "And why's that?! Huh?!"

"Because the tallest gets the smallest," Sophia giggled, sitting next to Holly who was beating her hands against one of the bigger pumpkins.

Wiping the dirt off his hands, Bucky gave Steve another look. This one, Steve knew better. It was the one that screamed, "we're going to talk whether you want to or not."

Steve hated that look almost as much as the kids did.

Nevertheless, Steve followed Bucky downstairs to their bedroom. As soon as the door was closed behind them, Steve started, "I already know what you're going to say."

"Then, why do you insist on putting your health at risk? It's ridiculous! We're supposed to be a team, and if you don't care about yourself, what do you think our kids are going to do? Huh? Why should they bother caring about themselves when their father doesn't care about himself?"

"Don't," Steve crossed his arms. "You know that I don't talk like that around them."

"It doesn't matter if you don't talk like that around them! You're actions speak loud enough for everyone!"

Steve rolled his eyes, "For fuck's sake, Bucky, you know that I don't act like that around them! I mean, Christ, how many parenting books did we read? I know that how they see themselves is based on the examples that we set. But I should be able to carry a fucking pumpkin! Don't baby me!"

"I don't baby you," Bucky scrubbed his hand over his face. A move that made Steve's gaze drop. Especially when -- just like every other time -- Bucky's eyes were glassy with unshed tears. Taking a step towards Steve, Bucky tenderly tilted Steve's chin up, so he was looking at him. Brushing Steve's hair from his face, Bucky said, "I want you to be happy and healthy, and I want us to live a long life together. And when you don't care, it makes me think that might not…"

"Buck," Steve solemnly sighed. Wrapping his arms around Bucky's waist, Steve pulled him in and gazed up at his husband. Without any of the earlier attitude, Steve asked, "Why should I care when you care enough for the both of us."

Clenching his jaw, Bucky rested his forehead against Steve's and warned, "Steve."

Steve gave Bucky's torso a comforting squeeze and assured, "I'm not putting myself at risk. I just want to be able to do things that everyone else can. Christ's sake, it was pumpkin. And a small one at that. I should be able to lift it."

"I don't want you to push yourself so much," Bucky confessed. He caressed Steve's cheek and reminded, "We don't need a repeat of you pulling a muscle putting on sunblock. Or dislocating your shoulder as you moved the sofa to get a crochet hook. Or spraining your ankle because you stepped off the stairs wrong. Or any of the times that you had to go to the hospital because of your asthma. Or --"

"Okay, I get it," Steve interrupted, playfully covering Bucky's mouth with his slender hand. Knowing that his husband was right, and his heart was in the right place, Steve decided, "I'll try to be more mindful. I can't promise that it'll happen every time. Or that I won't inadvertently fuck our kids up. But I'll try to be more mindful of myself."

Reaching up, Bucky held Steve's wrist and pressed a kiss to Steve's palm, "That's all I'm asking for."

As Bucky leaned in for a kiss, Steve ducked and held up a finger, "But I don't want another lecture."

Sighing, Bucky pressed a kiss to Steve's temple. With his lips still there, he said, "I'll try."

"Thank you," Steve eased. Standing on his tiptoes, Steve kissed Bucky. It wasn't the first time that the pair had this argument, and Steve doubted it would be the last. But Steve knew that he had to try. He had to stop putting himself at risk. Knowing that he couldn't leave Bucky or their kids the way that he and Sarah were left. Especially not if he could stop it from happening.

Resting his forehead against Steve's again, Bucky confirmed, "I love you."

"I love you, too."

Fighting back a smirk, Bucky joked, "Even if you are a stubborn asshole half the time."

"Oh, geez, Buck. Really feelin' the love," Steve deadpanned. Bringing his arms up, he stroked the back of Bucky's neck and pulled him in for one more kiss. As they parted, Steve teased, "You love my stubborn ass."

Rolling his eyes, Bucky slid his hands down to Steve's ass and gave the supple cheeks a tender squeeze. Feigning annoyance, Bucky playfully sighed and agreed, "Yeah, I do."

Sharing one last kiss, the pair finally pulled apart and left their room. Finding the minivan's trunk was closed, along with the garage door, the pair walked back up to the main level of the house. Laughing, the kids were all in front of their pumpkins. Drawing the designs that they wanted to carve while teasing that theirs was going to be better than the others. Halloweentown was playing on the TV and large bowls of popcorn were in the middle of the tarp, so they could share.

"Papa, will you help me?" Ethan asked, pushing his glasses up his nose and accidentally getting marker on his forehead.

Hugging him from behind, Bucky whispered, "We all need you."

Silently, Steve squeezed Bucky's arms wrapped around his waist before moving out of the embrace. Crossing the living room, Steve sat on the floor beside the kindergartener; his knees popping and cracking the entire way down. Sitting on the black throw cushion with the haunted house, Steve looked over the uneven sized circles.

"What do you need help with?" Steve asked, idly watching Bucky take a seat next to Luke.

"I need help with eyes," Ethan clarified.

Looking over the circles towards the top, he assumed, "That's what these are?" Ethan nodded and Steve asked, "Is this supposed to be a monster?"

Ethan shook his head, "It's me."

"But, baby, you don't have four eyes," Steve good-naturedly scoffed while his brows furrowed.

"Yes, I do," Ethan argued, standing up and getting in Steve's face, "Kids at school said I do!"

"Hey," Steve warned, grasping onto him so he wouldn't get accidentally headbutted by the six year old. When Ethan gritted his teeth and his face turned red in his insistence. Steve wiped at the marker and asked, "Who says you have four eyes?"

Pouting out his lower lip, and ducking his head, Ethan confessed, "Emily and Gemma, and Lance."

Hearing the little Jeffrey boy's name made Steve's jaw clench in his own anger. But if Ethan chose to see it as a good thing, then Steve wasn't going to correct him. Instead, Steve nodded and affectionately pushed the plastic framed glasses up his cute little button nose, and brought Ethan into his arms.

With him sitting in Steve's lap, Steve brought the medium size pumpkin closer. Nuzzling against his cheek, Steve softly complimented, "You did a good job. I can't even draw circles that round."

"Yeah?" Ethan asked, lighting up as he turned his head to look at Steve. Steve nodded and Ethan beamed, "Will you help me make a smile?"

"Sure can," Steve smiled, kissing his cheek as Ethan handed him the washable marker.

Feeling eyes on him, Steve glanced across the room to Bucky. A fond grin was on Bucky's face as he watched Steve. And just like old times, Bucky winked at him.