#(well actually if i focus i can get things done including if under 5k words likely)

[bernardellinewsagency]

Alright, I'm at ~5k words for this explicit Gallagher/Sunday fic, the "important stuff" still hasn't even happened yet, and I'm probably going to pretty easily reach at least 7-8k words by the time I'm done with this chapter. And I'm looking at making this a six chapter story and not just a oneshot so that could be, what, ~42-48k words in total if I keep at this pace? Maybe I should just make it a oneshot, but fuck it, I'm gonna post a preview of it to try and inspire myself to make it as long as my gay little heart desires.

It doesn't really have a title though. I've just been calling it the dreamjolt au. Or more appropriately, the "what if the Dreamjolt Hostelry is a queer kink club in a modern au" au. I mean, that does give pretty much most of what you'd need to know about it, so...

Anyways, hiding my ramblings about details under the cut, as well as the preview cause I thought I had picked a short snippet that I could use to try and showcase the story and my writing and all that good stuff. Nope. It's a thousand words. What the hell.

Gallagher is, of course, still a bartender within this au. I originally came up with the au, then I had the idea of a six chapter story where all the chapters are named after his eidolons since those are all cocktail names, wherein the plot would primarily focus on interactions between him and Sunday and conversations they'd have while he'd serve Sunday various drinks, which would be the cocktails from the chapter titles. Then I thought hey, what if I combined these, and now I'm looking at pushing myself to not just abandon this story halfway through. The things I do for the sake of hot yet emotional and character driven Galladay fics...

Sunday, of course, is the son of a megachurch leader. Because I thought about it, and realized that oh yeah, Gopher Wood probably would just be a weird megachurch leader who's really more like a cult leader but shh, no one needs to know about that. So, you know, he's a bit fucked up because of that sort of upbringing, but honestly he might be chiller than his canonical self. He's really fun to write though, it's always interesting to try and get into character as him so that his dialogue sounds just like him.

Other details include: Siobhan as the club's owner and lifelong friend of Gallagher's, Mikhail as Gallagher's previous partner before he passed away, Gallagher raising Mikhail's son Misha, and the Astral Express crew and other HSR characters who will eventually be making appearances. So far, only March has, because I desperately needed to include her being the biggest lesbian of all time.

OKAY ONTO THE PREVIEW:

As he’s busy thinking of how to approach the younger man, the situation is taken from his hands by the very target he’s looking for. “Can I help you?” he calls from afar, while Gallagher is still a few tables away from where he’s seated.

Damn, he’s perceptive. His eyes take on a certain soul piercing quality as he gets closer; a shocking gold color that would freeze a lesser man in place, at least until they realized it’s mostly only because of how the light is reflecting. “Yeah, actually, you can,” Gallagher replies once he’s closer and won’t have to raise his voice so much to be heard. “Is this chair taken?”

He can tell what Sunday is thinking of, as those gorgeous eyes rake up and down his figure. He knows that the two of them must seem like polar opposites, he’s never cared about keeping his work clothes presentable while the preacher’s son looks like he’s never had even a hair out of place. His inquiry is met with a raised eyebrow, but Sunday shakes his head after just a moment more. “No, no, go ahead and take it.”

“Great!”

When Sunday shifts to glare at him, he can see that his eyes are more brown than gold, but no less alluring. “Apologies, I assumed you would be taking the chair itself, not sitting down here.”

“Sorry. You’re not waiting for anyone, are ya?” Of course he wouldn’t be, Siobhan definitely didn’t describe the man as the type to be meeting anyone here. “Just wanted to try and talk to one of the most handsome looking men here, nothing more to it if you don’t want there to be.” If Sunday is surprised by what he’s saying at all, he doesn’t show it, just like how he doesn’t immediately shake Gallagher’s hand when he sticks it out. “Gallagher, nice to meet you.”

“Sunday,” comes the eventual reply, stunning Gallagher with the use of his real first name. He doesn’t shake Gallagher’s hand though, leaving him to awkwardly retract it. “You work here, yes?”

It’s a pretty stilted attempt at starting up a conversation, and it sounds like a script to social interaction long since memorized with the way that Sunday says it. Gallagher can picture how those captivating eyes would look reading through a long article on how to converse with someone you wish would go away. He doesn’t go away though, just humors the question. “Bartender, security, whatever the boss lady needs me to do for the night. Not the most cushy job, but it helps to pay the bills.”

“Which is this?” Sunday then asks, confusing Gallagher into silence as he waits for an explanation. “If this is ‘bartending’, then this is just a friendly chat with a patron. Or, are you chatting with me merely as a guise for ‘security’?”

“What the fuck? That’s some weird fucking logic, you know that, right?” He has to resist the urge to laugh. Everything about the situation seems hilarious to him now, right down to whatever the hell Sunday is saying. “Most patrons just talk ‘bout what scenes they want to try, not play mind games or whatever you’re up to.”

Sunday takes a sip from his glass of water, his face remarkably impassive throughout. “I don’t think this is any sort of mind game, Mister Gallagher. I saw you speaking with your boss while looking right at me, and then you came over and attempted to strike up a casual conversation. Perhaps you’re no different than the patrons of this establishment, interested in a pretty face, or perhaps there was no reason for me to introduce myself as all, seeing as you may have already known my name.”

“And if I did?”

Something in Sunday changes, hearing that. His posture slumps, losing some of its rigidity as he visibly frowns for once. “Then I would say that I don’t wish to indulge any questions you may have, so you may as well ask them directly, the response would be the same as if you tried to ask them in some roundabout manner.”

“And what if I really did just come over here ‘cause I wanted you to indulge me in something else?”

Sunday’s posture is back to rigid and ramrod straight, though this time it seems to be because he’s shocked. “Elaborate?” he asks, hisses more like, teeth clenched so tight it’s gotta hurt. Maybe he shouldn’t have asked like that. Actually, Gallagher thinks, it’s likely he’d be met with hostility no matter how he asked.

Leaning back in his seat, he resists the urge to smirk at how out of his depth the younger man looks. “It’s true, I knew your name before I came over here, and yeah, I am pretty curious ‘bout why you, of all people, are frequenting the Dreamjolt. I also ain’t much better than the other patrons here, and I’m definitely interested in a certain pretty face. And if it’s any benefit, I know better than most of the patrons than to ask questions you don’t wanna answer.”

He watches as Sunday worries a lip between his teeth, biting at chapped skin. “You’re…” he trails off, but he relaxes a few scant degrees as he takes in the situation.

“Propositioning you?” Gallagher fills in the blank for him. “Yup. You do know how the Dreamjolt works and what people usually do here, right?”

“I- Of course I do!” Sunday scoffs at him, but it also gets him to slightly grin, the sight of which counts as a win in Gallagher’s books. “I didn’t just blindly pick this place to come to, I’ll have you know.” 

Gallagher thinks for a moment of asking why he picked the Dreamjolt of all places before deciding against it. He won’t press his luck asking questions that Sunday doesn’t want to answer. Maybe he’ll get him to open up in his own time, but certainly not tonight. “So you are aware, that’s good. Look, I dunno your taste or type, but if it changes anything, I’ve been doing this for a long time. While I wouldn’t really call myself professional, if you’re ever looking to spend a night here not just sittin’ all alone, I’d be honored to offer my, uh, services to someone as good looking as you.”

Sunday flushes, yet the way his brows furrow sends rather mixed messages. “Do you really think I need such… company, in my life?” he eventually says.

If it sounds that much like a deflection, that’s probably what it is. Gallagher tries to take it in stride; he did come into this talk thinking that it might take a bit of work, and it’s still at least easier than trying to talk some sense into drunks like he can faintly hear Siobhan trying to accomplish. “Honestly? Yeah. You’ve got this look about you, one that I’ve seen on too many good men deep in their own struggles. And you’re intriguing, what can I say? If I could possibly help ya out, then I’d like to be able to do so.”

ANDDDDDD that is where I'll cut myself off. Not really sure how to end this, but feel free to let me know what you think, and if anyone might be interested in being like, a beta reader or anything, uh, that'd be really cool! Never had one of those before but I'm open to new experiences :)

[squarebracketsmileyface]

Okay, yelling more about this fic, because god it's been consuming my soul for too long to just post about it once and be done, but just, this fic has been so fucking fun to write. It started out as a plan for a maybe 4-5k word oneshot about Jay and Alex after that argument in the car park in entry 47, and now a year later it's 100,000 words, and 5 chapters long (whoops. where did that 5th chapter come from?) and goes into Jaylex's relationship more than I ever planned, AND ends up with Jam getting together (for now).

But just. Wow. I finished it?

Honestly it was starting to feel like I would never actually be done with this fic, and I guess I'm not technically done with it in the sense that I have plans for like 8 more fics to go in the series. So even though the main fic is done, I'm still gonna get to explore the characters and universe I put them in. Because I love the universe I've created for them (or i guess like, i took the original mh universe and changed some things idk, anyway) and I really wanna explore it more, including exploring about Jaylex's relationship back in uni and how/why it went downhill, as well as Jam's 'current' relationship. I even have an entry 80 fic planned that'll go into how Jay and Alex's relationship impacts what would happen in that entry.

God this fic is Satan and I sold it my soul I swear. It's everything to me and I have so many thoughts about it just aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

The fics I have planned for the series are so cool tho. (Spoilers under the thingy, because I need to talk about it, IF YOU'RE UNDER 18 PLS GO AWAY, a lot if not most of these fics are gonna be nsfw) so:

⬇️

1. Okay so, I have a precanon Jaylex fic planned which will go into Amylex's relationship more and explain Alex's real reasons for ending his and Jay's uni fwb relationship (it's not just internalised homophobia, that's just what Jay saw). That thing jay tried with Tim, where he tried to make tim choke him and tim was like dude wtf, that's not how you go about getting things you want? Yeah jay did that with Alex, except Alex was in the heat of the moment and used to them having a sadist/masochist relationship, so he just punished jay mid-scene for acting out and carried on. Then realised how bad he could have hurt Jay after Jay went home and had a whole breakdown over it that Amy had to look after him through.

And Amy only hears Alex's side of what happened exactly just before, so she assumes Jays this terrible awful person (which, yeah that was a shitty thing to do, so she's not completely wrong) and she convinced Alex to end the fwb relationship, because she's heard him be so low about Jay so many times she's like "honey, this is not a healthy relationship for you, get out of there"

2. I have two fics planned that'll delve more into Jay's gender crisis. Because that boy has 4 months to live and that's long enough for him to decide to start exploring his gender. I'm planning on most of that exploration being done through kink, since kink and sex are the places Jay's most comfortable in himself (sticking to he/him for Jay right now because i haven't actually decided what pronouns he'll go by in the end, if they change at all, it might make more sense for Jay to not actually figure out pronouns in the little time he has to explore his gender.)

Anyway. Kink and forced fem are gonna be the ways Tim and Jay explore jay's gender, because that way jay can sorta keep up his lil denial thing, while also letting himself explore. And once he knows Tim's not gonna hate him for having a kink about dressing as and being called a girl during sex he'll definitely be really comfy with it. Like, he's used to having weird kinks, so as long as he knows Tim won't hate him for this one, why would he care about it either?

One fic will massively focus on jay exploring his gender (and it'll probably be multi chapter because I keep coming up with ideas for it) and the other will probably be a short (hopefully) oneshot that'll just kinda be the starting point for the gender stuff, because I came up with a thing I NEED jay to watch Tim do (getting off in the shower using nothing but the water pressure) and jay is just very horny over it and wants to do it himself, and then finds its REALLY gender affirming for him (even tho he doesnt know thats what it is lol)

3) another smut one >:] jam doing some good old cockwarming where jay gets to worship Tim back (cos he didn't get to in the main fic, and I think he'll explode if he doesn't get to worship Tim's body like Tim worshipped his)

4) ANGST :D Jay tells Tim about the kiss on the doorstep with Alex. And Tim knows it's illogical, but he feels really hurt that Jay didn't tell him before, he hates how upset he is over it, but he can't make it go away. He feels almost betrayed that Jay let him go about thinking he'd given Jay his first properly meaningful kiss.

And, when jay explains the doorstep kiss and why he lied about it, that'll just make Tim dislike Alex more >:]

5) and entry 80 fic that explores how Jay and Alex's relationship and the fact that they both still love (sorta?) and care for each other impacts what happens in entry 80. Alex crying behind the gun because he tried to keep jay out of this, he tried to save him! And Jay refused to listen and just brought himself and now Tim, too, into it. And Alex has to save them the only way he can, the same way he saved everyone else, and that kills him. He can't live with what he's done after he kills Jay, he just can't, so he goes to Tim himself and begs him to show him mercy, begging Tim to kill him.

And Tim does show mercy (hehehheh, take that how you will)

6) and then :D the fic about Tim finding out he's having Jay's baby. This one will probably go at the end of the series so people can skip it easily if they want to, cos not everyone likes pregnancy even being mentioned in fics lol. But still, Tim has Jay's kid and ooooooo the angst that can come from that, especially with all the jay gender stuff and how Jay could have been Moma to this kid! Jay could have been mommy or mom and he never got the chance.

Tim has to raise that kid by himself for so long, Tim has to get better for her, and he does. With the timeline I have for this, I'm pretty sure that by the time that last episode of MH was posted, Tim would already have had the baby, so she could have been in a little car seat in the back of the car when he's driving up to that crossroad and making his decision on what to do next :DDDDD and he chooses her, chooses to live and give her the best life he possibly can :]

The last chapter of Sorry, It's Locked is finally out! After a whole year of writing this fic, it's done! (plus a nice surprise for you at the end of chapter 4 >:] )

i can't believe I actually finally did it. Like, holy shit.

Anyway, the chapters up, and I hope you enjoy (if you're under 18, please don't interact with this post or read the fic, i know I can't really stop you, but for my own comfort, pls dont, as it is an explicit fic)

[koushirouizumi]

(quiet tags ramble)

[notapaladin]

it’s love and it’s decisive pain

I wanted to write a) pining, b) acatl having a fun night with his family and c) acatl making the full and conscious choice that Yes This Is A Relationship He Wants with teomitl. (yes, also I wanted to use “sunlight” by hozier as a fic title bc it is the MOST teocatl song) 5k words later, this fell out.

Can also be read on AO3!

-

Family game night had been Mihmatini’s idea.

Or...well, originally, in much better times, it had been Neutemoc’s idea, but the reinstitution of the event had been all Mihmatini’s. “It’s been nearly three years,” she’d said. “Shouldn’t we try to get together as a family again?”

And Neutemoc had agreed.

Acatl was officially invited on a night when, for once, he had something resembling free time. He’d combed his hair and set out earlier than necessary, hoping to catch Teomitl and Mihmatini on their way. Acatl had thought he should probably warn the man—they could be both boisterous and vicious when all of them played patolli together, and he was sure Teomitl was accustomed to a good deal less graphic language and a great many more serious threats over the game board—but when he actually met him alone on the street near Neutemoc’s house, he found he had bigger problems.

Teomitl had dressed up. This is fine, Acatl told his heart sternly. You are not to escape my ribcage because Teomitl is a handsome young man. It had never worked. It certainly wasn’t working now. They were on a dark, quiet street where the neighbors kept themselves to themselves, and Acatl couldn’t stop staring at his brother-in-law.

There was gold at his wrists and on his fingers—he’d kept himself to a bracelet on each wrist and a minimum of rings, but they still gleamed in the sunlight. His cloak was the red afforded to him as the Master of the House of Darts, but the design had been woven in smaller seashells and arrow symbols instead of the huge ones that proclaimed his station to every passerby. He wore earflares Acatl hadn’t seen on him before, too, and from the way the light shimmered on them he was sure there was magical protection involved.

His sister was nowhere in sight. Before the silence could get too awkward—he was aware he’d been staring, aware he couldn’t stop himself—he asked, “Where’s Mihmatini?” Please be nearby. Surely I’d embarrass myself less with an audience. Unlikelier things had happened.

Teomitl glanced down the street, which didn’t help because even the curve of his neck was a distraction. “She ran on ahead; she said she had to help set up.” Judging by the expression on his face, this was a matter of some mild trepidation.

He couldn’t blame him. “Did she tell you what to expect?”

“...The phrase ‘pack of screaming howler monkeys’ was used.”

He winced, but he couldn’t honestly say it was incorrect. “...Rude, but essentially accurate. At least you’ll only have to deal with three of us; it is much more...vibrant when the rest of the family gathers.” There were four sisters between himself and Mihmatini, and though he rarely spent any time with them—they were all married with their own families and very little time for the older brother who’d so disappointed their parents by joining the priesthood—when they were all together they tended to feed off each other’s shared enthusiasm for patolli, and the end result usually included someone laughing until they cried.

Teomitl actually smiled a little at that. “Which is why I’m wearing things I don’t mind losing.”

His gaze fell to all that finery again. Teomitl’s lip plug was gold as well, a rounded disc with an eagle’s head carved on it. He tried not to focus on the shape of his mouth above it. “We...we play for tokens,” he began. “So you don’t have to worry.” It didn’t stop the sudden mental image of Teomitl throwing his gold and jewels atop his shed cloak, skin gleaming in torchlight. No. Enough of that. He swallowed. “Are those earflares new?”

Oh, no. Teomitl was still smiling, and now the curve of his lips was teasing. “Mm-hmm. Do you like them?”

And he drew closer and tilted his head, the better to show them off. They were also decorated with eagles, but with the whole body of the bird picked out in turquoise chips. Acatl exhaled at the sight. He’d been right about the magic; if he let his eyes drift out of focus, he could just about see the shape of Huitzilopochtli’s flames shimmering over the gold. The earflares’ rims were quite thick, the better to fit even more glyphs on them.

I want to see what they say, came his first conscious thought. He was far too aware of how close they were—too close—but he couldn’t make himself step back. Couldn’t make himself do anything, in fact, except reach up and slowly trace the rims with his thumb, turning them up for a better view. They’d been skillfully done, and he had to lean in close enough that a stray strand of Teomitl’s hair tickled his face. Whatever Teomitl used to keep it clean made him want to nuzzle it.

“Oh,” he breathed, “the carvings are…”

“Protective charms.” There was a faint tremor in Teomitl’s voice, which he might never have picked up normally—but their heads were nearly touching, and the only sounds on the street were their own. Everything was heightened, right down to the feeling of the warm metal against his skin.

It was dark where they stood, the walls of nearby buildings casting them both in shadow. He leaned in, heard Teomitl’s breath hitch, and stopped. We should go. My family is waiting. That would be the good decision, the logical decision.

Instead, his thumb slipped from its slow circling of Teomitl’s earrings to caress his earlobe instead, and it was his turn to feel his own breath catch in his throat. Soft—the skin was astonishingly soft here, marred only by the thin scab of that morning’s bloodletting. It was healing well, but when he drew his thumb over it Teomitl gasped. It didn’t sound pained.

His gaze dropped to his face anyway. Teomitl was staring at him wide-eyed, breathless, and gods, but he wanted to see that face again. So he repeated the motion, a little harder this time, and saw the man draw in a long, deep breath. Oh, you’re sensitive. The knowledge intoxicated him further. He curled his fingers, tracing the shell of Teomitl’s ear as lightly as he dared, and heard Teomitl make a soft noise. A wanting noise.

He could barely think past the pounding of his own blood in his veins. All considerations—they were on a public street, his family was waiting, this was his brother-in-law, the man who he’d told people was like a son to him—felt as far away and inconsequential as the rustling of ants through grass. His fingers trailed achingly slowly down the side of Teomitl’s neck, following the line of his jugular and feeling his pulse thump steadily against his fingertips. His thumb came to rest on the other side, such that he held Teomitl’s throat in the loosest of loose grips.

“Mmhm…” The sound that escaped Teomitl’s lips was barely even audible. He wasn’t pulling away. In fact, he was leaning into it, and Acatl felt himself caught as surely as a jaguar would take a deer.

He felt frozen. If he leaned in, spoke, lifted his other hand, the spell between them would be broken and whatever they were doing would end. Whatever they were—he didn’t think about that. He didn’t think about anything except the soft skin under his fingers, how they were so close that he could feel the warmth rolling off him, how much he wanted to be closer still.

He wasn’t looking at the earflares anymore. He didn’t even remember what they looked like. Teomitl’s eyes were dark and hazy, his lips slightly parted, and all he could think was Yes. Yes, please.

He wanted to taste those lips. It would be easy. It would be so easy.

A pink tongue darted out, and he made a noise of his own. “Gnh.”

“...Acatl.” His name on Teomitl’s tongue, said like that, sent a shiver through him. “...I…”

Approaching footsteps broke through the haze. Someone was coming.

Acatl jerked backwards, heart hammering so frantically in his chest that he wondered for a moment if he might faint. He felt the loss of Teomitl’s skin under his hand as keenly as he might feel the loss of the hand in question, but there was no time for that now. Nothing happened. Nothing happened. It’s fine, we’re fine, nothing happened. He closed his eyes; it was easier to regain his equilibrium if he couldn’t see whatever look of dismayed horror was surely on Teomitl’s face right now.

And of course it was Mihmatini doubling back to pick them up. Of course. Because his life was already going so well. Worse, she sounded so cheerful there was absolutely no way she even suspected what he’d been about to do. (With her husband. That fact bore repeating.) “There you are, Acatl! Come on, the first course will get cold.”

He made himself smile at her. “We’re coming.”

It was a short walk to Neutemoc’s house. He couldn’t bring himself to look at Teomitl until they arrived. No—it was more accurate to say that he didn’t look at him. Looking at him would have been easy; the man drew his eye like a single shaft of sunlight piercing the darkness, all easy, radiant warmth, and if he let himself he could stare for hours. So he very deliberately did not. He couldn’t help being attracted to him, but he could damn well help how he reacted to it.

Aside from that shameful display. He huffed out a breath as he walked, keeping his eyes on the canal flowing beside the street. He’d made his decision long ago, when he’d first realized that familial was absolutely not an appropriate way to describe his feelings towards Teomitl—the man had his own life, and Acatl had his, and he wouldn’t ruin either of them by forcing an unwanted connection. There were simply too many ways it could go wrong, too many reasons why it was a terrible idea. The risks far outweighed any brief benefits.

And then the lights of Neutemoc’s house spilled out into the street, and he had no more time for self-recrimination. Family dinner and game night had begun.

Dinner was, of course, delicious. A trifle awkward at first—it always was, because he could never really be sure of Neutemoc’s welcome truly extending to him as well—but then his brother clapped him on the shoulder and bade them all sit, and the awkwardness passed in time for him to enjoy the food. While Neutemoc still hadn’t remarried, his kitchen slaves were more than capable of putting out an excellent spread of fish, frogs, tamales, peppers, and all the tasty things that made life worth living.

It was not a silent affair; while he’d never been one for much conversation over a meal (he only had one mouth and he was busy putting food in it, thank you) his family had no such concerns. Particularly not the children; Necalli and Mazatl attached themselves to either side of Teomitl as soon as he sat down, ready to bombard him with questions. It was a wonder he even had time to eat, but eat he did—in between happily telling Necalli the less gory details of his last campaign and assuring Mazatl that yes, it was true that his sisters had different sets of jewelry for every day of the week, but she didn’t want to grow up to be like them because they were all very, very mean.

Acatl looked up from his plate at that to meet Mihmatini’s eyes, and they shuddered in unison. Chalchiuhnenetl.

It wasn’t a cloud that lingered for long; Neutemoc asked how things were going at their respective temples, and so of course they had to answer. There wasn’t much to tell; things had been blissfully boring lately, and Acatl would have been more than pleased by that if it hadn’t also left him with far too much free time to think. He’d not wanted to spend much time in his own head since…

His gaze drifted to where Teomitl sat. Well. Since I realized that.

He was suddenly very, very glad that Teomitl sat on the other side of the table between two small children. The man was chuckling fondly at whatever Necalli had just said, and the sight was so endearing it made his heart clench painfully in his chest. Damn you, he thought bitterly, unsure whether he meant the organ in his chest or the man that had caused it to beat so hard. I did not ask for this.

Then Mihmatini asked him how he’d met her predecessor, and he was sufficiently distracted not to think about Teomitl again until the meal was over and they hit a snag in their preparations for the night’s patolli games. Namely, bundling the children off to sleep.

Necalli went easily enough, but Neutemoc had to pause, sigh, and gesture for his daughter to follow when he realized she’d been left behind. “Off to bed with you, Mazatl.”

“I’m not tired,” she whined, and flopped bonelessly against Teomitl’s side.

Teomitl chuckled, patting her head. “Of course you aren’t. But it’s going to get very loud in here in a bit, and you don’t like loud noises, do you?”

She shook her head. “Nuh-uh.”

“Then go to your room.”

She heaved a sigh that came from the depths of her soul (and had definitely been inherited from her father), but obligingly sat up and let Neutemoc carry her to her mat. When they were gone, Teomitl was still looking after them a little wistfully. Finally, he announced, “She’s adorable. I want a dozen children just like her.”

Mihmatini looked up from her cup of maguey sap. “Find more wives to give them to you, then.”

Acatl had never actually seen someone choke on his own spit before. It was not an attractive look, and he wished heartily that it didn’t make him feel so terribly soft. Finally Teomitl spluttered, “Mihmatini!” and she only fixed him with a long and steady look that was slightly ruined by her repressed smile.

“You forget, I’ve spent a lot of time looking after my nieces and nephews. I think two or three little Mazatls are enough from me.”

Teomitl was blushing as he muttered, “Well. That’s...alright. I guess.”

Acatl had to look away, guilt twisting his stomach into a knot. Right. They are married. They love each other still, no matter how rocky things were for a while there.  They’ll have a home and children together, a life together. When Teomitl is Revered Speaker, he’ll take even more wives and have the dozens of children he wants from them. That’s how it should be. He’d never look twice at another man, even if...even if back there, I thought…

“I found the board and the pieces. Shall we?”

He’d never been so glad to see Neutemoc, and all but shot to his feet. “Yes, of course.”

They had to play patolli in the receiving room; there simply wasn’t enough floor space in the dining room, and the beans had a tendency to bounce under tables or rugs and be lost for weeks. One time one of them had actually sprouted. But this time the board was set up properly, and everyone had their own painted pieces, and the first throws of the beans to begin the game set the starting rounds firmly in Neutemoc’s favor.

Until, that was, Acatl’s luck turned. Neutemoc was getting cocky, always a mistake in games of chance, and so he didn’t notice when one of his pieces was removed from play until he looked down at the board again. Immediately his brother’s head snapped up, fixing him with a savage glare. “You.”

He felt a broad and—alright—mildly evil grin split his face. It had been far, far too long since he’d indulged in the no-holds-barred ruthlessness of games with family he was on good terms with. “Should have paid more attention to all your pieces.”

It was Mihmatini’s turn, but since she wasn’t in position to take their pieces yet Neutemoc snarled, “You’re a bastard.”

He huffed, “Are you insulting our parents?!”

“I’m not so sure you weren’t left on our doorstep!”

“Aunt Miyahuatl attended my birth!”

“Hmph—oh, look.” Neutemoc’s turn had come around again, and he turned a mirror of Acatl’s own grin back at him as the piece he’d just set down was plucked from the board.

Acatl blinked down at it. “How the hell—“

“You were distracted.” Neutemoc’s grin only widened, and he had to fight the desire to pick up the nearest cushion and beat him around the head with it. They’d done that plenty of times as children, but then it hadn’t been cushions. There’d been no chance of affording those.

“What’s it feel like to play?” Teomitl muttered. He’d gotten a few of his own pieces onto the mat earlier, but they hadn’t stayed there for long. While Acatl thought his siblings probably weren’t ganging up against him on purpose, the effect was the same. His luck had not improved at all since then.

Mihmatini nudged him. “Throw the beans again, maybe you’ll find out.”

He threw. He threw again. And then he was back in the game and he was laughing, and Acatl felt his heart skip several beats in a row. Gods, how he shone in the torchlight. How easy it would be to reach out, take his hand, pull him close—

No. He wrenched his gaze and his focus back to the mat. Not here. And besides...besides, I made my choice. I refuse to be selfish in this.

There was patolli to play.

In the end, each of them won a single game. This naturally necessitated a tiebreaker round, which was tense and hard-fought until Mihmatini, looking immensely pleased with herself, swept the board of all her opposition and sat back to gloat until Teomitl, highly disgruntled, threw a cushion at her. While he’d initially been surprised and more than a bit taken aback at how quickly the three of them degenerated into barely-serious insults and threats of murder, by the time the night wound down he was laughing with the rest of them even if he clearly didn’t dare join in. It warmed Acatl’s heart and fully made up for all the tokens he’d given away on his bets each time Teomitl’s face had lit up like that.

Since it was far, far too late for them to make their way home to the Sacred Precinct, Neutemoc insisted on them staying the night. Acatl turned down the offer of a room and bedded down in the courtyard instead; the air was warm, he was warmer, and he wanted the breeze. (Well, he wanted an ice bath. But he would settle for a breeze.)

He sprawled out on his back under one of the trees, staring at the stars through the thin canopy of leaves. Usually, counting them helped him sleep when he really couldn’t; this time, sleep wouldn’t come.

He couldn’t stop thinking about what had happened earlier. Not the flashes of emotion that had struck him during dinner, but what had happened before they arrived. What could have kept on happening, if Mihmatini hadn’t shown up.

I didn’t do anything wrong, Acatl told himself. He hadn’t. Teomitl had new earflares. Acatl had admired the earflares. He hadn’t broken his vows, hadn’t done anything that would cast shame upon Teomitl’s marriage. They’d only touched. That was all.

But the skin under his fingers had been so soft, and Teomitl had been melting into his touch and looking at him like...like…

Like he wanted me to kiss him. The thought felt like lightning striking the core of him, and he squeezed his eyes shut with an involuntary gasp. He’d seen a cunning version of that look before on women who were clearly hoping he’d make a move on them, priest or no; he’d never in his life seen it like that. Flushed and soft and spellbound, as though the only thing Teomitl had been dreaming of was the moment where their mouths would meet.

And he wanted it. Even now, in his brother’s courtyard, with Teomitl and Mihmatini no doubt wrapped in each other’s arms a few rooms away, he wanted it. He rolled over onto his side and dug his nails into his palms, hoping the pain would center him. It didn’t. The thoughts kept on coming, each one like a hammer blow, and all he could do was reel as they hit home.

I desire him.

I love him.

I can’t tell him.

Because that was the cold, hard truth of it all. He loved Teomitl, and letting him know that would destroy too much he held dear. The peace in his life he’d just started to find would vanish. Happy evenings with his family would turn cold and awkward. Mihmatini—gods, his sister would never forgive him. No, having him in his life like this would have to be enough. They’d meet for dinner, they’d be friends, but Teomitl would build his life as Master of the House of Darts—as Revered Speaker—with Mihmatini by his side, and Acatl would go to his mat alone and it would be fine. It had to be fine. Safety. Security. This is the choice I’m making.

Distant voices intruded, and he shuddered all over again as he heard Mihmatini’s wry, teasing comment of, “I love you, but you do snore.”

“I know.” That was Teomitl, sounding terribly fond. “I’ll go sleep in the courtyard with Acatl.”

“Please.” She said something else, then, but it was too soft for Acatl to catch. Whatever it was, it made Teomitl cough, and she giggled sweetly.

He barely dared to breathe. Even facing away from them, he was far too aware of Teomitl’s footsteps; the man was trying to be stealthy, but he’d always been terrible at that. He felt it, too, when those footsteps stopped near him and—quietly—rolled out a mat. Reeds crunched softly as Teomitl sat down—no, laid down, there was the rustle of cloth as his cloak spread out. They were so close that once again Acatl thought he could feel the warmth of his body.

Silence. Soft breathing. Another, extended rustle as Teomitl rolled over.

And then, so quietly he almost couldn’t hear it, “...Tonight was wonderful. I loved it. I love you.”

Adrenaline flooded his veins. He’d never been more awake in his life; it was only sheer force of will that kept his eyes from shooting open. His heart and his breath both caught, and for a long and irrational moment he wasn’t sure either of them was functioning. No—there was his heartbeat roaring back to life, pounding so fast and hard that his throat squeezed with the effort of it. His lungs were next, a hitched pause that felt so much more momentous than it sounded.

I love you.

He’d made his choice, but now he faced a new one. He could keep his eyes shut, force himself to relax, pretend he’d never heard that confession. In the morning, nothing would happen. Their lives would continue on as before. That would be the safe option.

Or he could turn over, look Teomitl in the eyes, and speak to him as one man to another.

Love meant pain. Loving a man like Teomitl...well. It probably meant even more pain. Teomitl wasn’t an easy man to love. He was stubborn, abrasive, proud, and tended not to listen to the people around him when he thought he knew best. But then, wasn’t Acatl the same? Less proud, he thought, but Acamapichtli called me self-righteous and gods, how I wish he’d been entirely wrong. Teomitl didn’t seem to mind, and he couldn’t possibly be unaware of Acatl’s flaws. No, he saw them. And he loved Acatl anyway. He loved him, flaws and all, risks and all. How could Acatl not do the same?

For once in his life—no. Even to think that would imply he saw an end to it, and Acatl would not back down from this. He would do this, and he would keep doing this, because the risks did not outweigh the benefits.

He took a long, slow breath, stretched out his limbs, and turned over to meet Teomitl’s gaze. For a moment Teomitl just looked stunned, but then the horror asserted itself—Acatl could see every shift of his expression as he registered that yes, he’d said that out loud and yes, Acatl had heard it.

Before he could run away, Acatl grabbed his hand hard enough to hurt.

Teomitl’s eyes went wide. “Acatl,” he began, “I…”

“I wanted to kiss you in the street today,” he blurted out, which was absolutely not what he’d planned to say. (Not that he’d had a plan at all, but I love you too seemed like a decent starting point.) “Tonight was—I lost so much on the games because I couldn’t stop staring at you, every time you laughed, you’re like sunlight—“

“Acatl.” Teomitl’s voice held more than a tinge of desperation. “Shut up.”

He shut up.

Teomitl’s gaze bored into his; as he leaned in, they drew so close that he could feel warm breath wafting across his own lips. His voice was low and serious as the grave. “If you keep talking, I am going to kiss you. Right here in the middle of your brother’s courtyard.”

It was dark. They were under a tree. They were perfectly capable of being quiet. He sucked in a hard breath, feeling his heart hammer frantically in his chest, and breathed, “What are you waiting for?”

Teomitl didn’t make him wait any longer. Their mouths finally met, and it was sweet and hot and something Acatl felt in his spine. Perfect, he thought, and then he wasn’t thinking anything, because he had a hand on Teomitl’s bare back and Teomitl had one buried in his hair and it didn’t matter that he’d never kissed anyone before, because Teomitl was more than skilled enough to make up for any deficiencies in his own technique. That pretty golden lip plug didn’t get in the way at all. More. I want more of this.

The position was awkward, both of them lying on their sides, but then he rolled away to free his trapped arm and Teomitl followed and oh, that was much better, with Teomitl half on top of him and the red of his cloak blending into the night. When they pulled away to breathe, he panted, “We should—“ Get inside, he meant to say. Find somewhere secluded. But it was difficult to get any of that out when Teomitl was kissing him midsentence, nipping at his bottom lip and sighing in pleasure when he slid his hands down his back. The skin was deliciously soft here too, and unscarred.

Teomitl’s fingers slid down his side to the curve of his hip, and even if he hadn’t been able to feel the evidence of his arousal he could pick it up just fine from the roughness in his voice. “Gods, I want you so much.”

“Not here,” he gasped. Even the thought sent a cold spike of fear through his chest. No—not entirely fear. Some part of him, even though he knew better, wanted to see how quiet they could really be.

Someone cleared their throat across the courtyard. They both froze.

It was Mihmatini, talking to a slave in a voice that carried. “No, the room’s wonderful. I’m just a bit warm, so I’m going to sleep in the courtyard. But you know I snore, so I can’t blame the men if they want to take my room instead.”

Teomitl slumped, his head tucking into the crook of Acatl’s neck as though it belonged there permanently. “She doesn’t snore,” he whispered.

He felt an absurd urge to laugh. “I know.”

“She talks in her sleep, which is worse.”

“I know.” But she was also heading their way, so he nudged Teomitl off him and rolled over so by the time she got there, it would look like they were simply dozing. I have the best sister in the world.

“I heard that.”

The best sister in the world was currently giving her husband a very unimpressed look. He was pushing himself upright, flushed with embarrassment—but not, Acatl realized, guilt. Nor the shifty eyes of one who was trying to keep a secret. “It is worse. You’ve said so yourself.”

“About you,” she said dryly. “Acatl, if you can put up with that without strangling him, I’d be very appreciative.”

Teomitl huffed, climbing to his feet and gathering his mat. “Lies and slander.”

And then she grinned at him, and winked. He felt his face go hot. It was one thing to know that she knew, and to have it be something they never spoke about. It was entirely different to do such things with her blessing. To kiss Teomitl, to hold him in his arms, and know that he wouldn’t break his sister’s heart in doing so—that he could have Teomitl, and his family, and not have to give up happiness with either.

Teomitl paused a few feet away, turning to look back over his shoulder. It was impossible to miss the hope in his voice. “Coming, Acatl?”

Another decision. Another chance to say no, he wouldn’t do this, there were lines he wouldn’t cross. He’d taken vows, hadn’t he? Vows of chastity, of celibacy. His virginity was something he’d managed to hold onto all his life, and if he and Teomitl had the privacy of a room with walls and a closed entrance-curtain, he’d fling it away in a heartbeat. There’d be no going back from that.

He rose, pulling a hand through his hair, and followed Teomitl inside.

[whumpcentral]

Legolas Whump Rec List

Tada!! After months of nearly no activity I am here with the rec list that nobody asked for! 

If anyone is still into Lord of the Rings stuff and enjoys Legolas whump then I’m your gal! I learned how to use the internet at age 12 for the express purpose of reading Legolas whump fanfic and I have never turned back. Under the cut you’ll find a mix of old and new fics that I think are worth a read and review, both for the whump and because they’re just plain good

Also note: all these fics are Gen, and contain violence only to the approximate level that is shown in the LOTR books and movies unless otherwise noted

Less than 5k

I Am Hunter -The Yuggster

Characters: OC, Legolas, Aragorn

Words: 4,353

Summary: “I am Draug. I am Hunter. And tonight I repay my debt.” 

Review:   A lovely outsider-POV vignette, and one of my very favorite fics. I used to have a printed copy of it in case I wanted to read it at a time I couldn’t access the internet. Outsider POV is my favorite sub-genre of whump, and this piece allows you to get to know the narrator, and see the Legolas’ struggle through their eyes

Breaking of the Dam - ScribeofArda

Characters: Fellowship post-TTT, Legolas and Aragorn-centric

Words: 3,909

Summary: “A what-if oneshot: In the scene in RotK where Pippin held the palantir, what if Legolas had grabbed it out of his hands instead of Aragorn? Hurt/comfort and some light angst, as well as a good heaping of Aragorn and Legolas friendship and bromance. I just can't get enough of it.”

Review: The summary pretty much says it all. The h/c in this fic is amazing, and ScribeofArda is one of my all-time favorite LOTR fic authors

Concerning Barrels, Potatoes, and an Unusual Setting for a Heart to Heart - Sarah-K1

Characters: Aragorn, Legolas

Words: 2,871

Summary: “Legolas finds trouble, and Aragorn finds Legolas.”

Review: Definitely more comfort and friendship than hurt. This fluffy little fic has stuck in my memory for years, and I just had to rec it

Simple Comforts - Muse10

Characters: Bilbo, Legolas, Gandalf

Words: 2,279

Summary: “77 years before the War of the Ring, an unlikely friendship is formed between an injured elf and a hobbit after the Battle of Five Armies.”

Review: Another feel-good, comfort-heavy fic

Not Only by Blood Are Brothers Made -  sheraiah

Characters: Legolas, Gimli, Original Characters

Words: 4,538

Summary:  “As he watches over an injured Legolas, Gimli reflects on his friendship with the elf.”

Review: A lovely little hurty-comforty study of the relationship between Legolas and Gimli. Many Legolas whump fics have Aragorn as the caretaker which is all fine and good, but I’m always so excited to find a good one with Gimli in the caretaker role. This fic lets the soft side of a usually gruff character shine a little

5k-10k

By Example - Periphery

Characters: Legolas, Aragorn, Original Characters

Words: 5,936

Summary: “An ordinary girl gets a glimpse into an extraordinary friendship. Three guesses whose.”

Review: Another great fic that I’ve come back to read again and again and again

Lost & Found - iiiionly

Characters: Legolas, Gimli, Aragorn, Gandalf

Words: 7,622

Summary: “Legolas has no idea he's lost, though neither Aragorn, nor Gimli, can find him. Just needed to indulge in a little superfluous elf whumping of my own.”

Review: I can never get enough of whumpy Helm’s Deep AUs and this one is my favorite

-and it was done - neoinean

Characters: Aragorn, Legolas

Words:  8,429

Summary: “Detailing a simple rescue mission that, for once, goes off without a hitch.”

Warnings: The violence is quite graphic and personal in this one, I’m not sure if it’s worse than LOTR but the way it’s written feels more realistic and less like fantasy violence to me

Review: The whump is very detailed (hence the warning) which I like. I also really like the writing style of the fic, it’s unique and has a nice rhythm. The whole story has a gritty, realistic tone which I also appreciate

More than 10k

Trial By Separation -  Veilfire Runes

Characters: Legolas, Frodo

Words: 20,173

Summary: “ Despite the bitter snowstorms of Caradhras, the Fellowship decides to continue their attempt on the perilous mountain path. But when the weather turns foul again, Frodo and Legolas are separated from the Company. The two must quickly learn to work together in order to survive the perils of the mountain and rejoin the Fellowship, or else risk the Quest failing altogether.”

Review: A slightly whumpier AU of the Caradhras pass. Includes lots of Legolas and Frodo bonding and I really enjoyed the characterization of both of them in this fic

At the Sign of the Prancing Pony - ScribeofArda

Characters: Frodo, Sam, Merry, Pippin, Legolas, Aragorn, Glorfindel

Words: 29,894

Summary: “ 'The shadows seemed to pause together for a few moments. Any words were lost in the wind and the rain, if there were words in the first place anyway. In the next moment the shadows disappeared, and the wind and rain took their places once more.' AU, if Legolas was with Aragorn at the Prancing Pony in Bree.”

Review: Whump-wise, there’s some good hurting and comforting. On the non-whump side of things, I appreciate the way this fic emphasizes Legolas’ experience as a soldier, and how that gives him a different perspective than his companions

Walking Wounded - Mirrordance

Characters: Legolas, Aragorn, Thranduil, Gimli, Boromir, Merry, Pippin, Sam, Frodo

Words: 24,552

Summary:  “ Danger does not stop for grief or injury. For Legolas, there is no rest, respite, or relief on the seemingly endless road between Moria and Lothlorien. He, with the Fellowship he has sworn to serve, has no choice but to move forward, hurting and heartbroken.”

Review: An excellent slight AU character study of an injured Legolas. It’s a long fic and whumpy throughout the whole thing. If you’re excited about the character study aspect, I recommend reading the afterword for even more insight. Mirrordance is another one of my favorite LOTR fic authors

The World is Changed - Mirrordance

Characters: Legolas, Aragorn, Gandalf, and many others

Words: 41,053

Summary:  “ Rebuilding a war-ravaged world begins immediately after victory at the Black Gates. Heroes and soldiers become Kings, Princes and administrators as they build families, societies and legacies in a changed, more peaceful world. A collection of Post-ROTK one-shots starting with "Triage" where, before all the work begins, Legolas first has to look after himself and find his friends.”

Review: This is one of the newest fics I have recced, and it’s recently been completed! I haven’t actually finished reading this one yet, but so far it’s excellent. It’s packed with whump and angst, and provides some great insight into the characters and their relationships after the Battle at the Black Gates

More than 100k

The River - Indigo Bunting

Characters: Fellowship 9

Words: 143,512

Summary: “The Fellowship must cross a river before it can enter the land of Hollin. When disaster strikes, Sam and Legolas find themselves trapped between the river, a party of malicious strangers, and each other. A story about friendship and sacrifice.”

Review: An extremely well-written and whumpy adventure novel with plenty of early-fellowship bonding. A lot of LOTR fics contain the same cliches, and most of the time I don’t take issue with that, but this is a break from some of the overused LOTR fanon. One of the qualms I have with many LOTR fics is that they forget how strong elves are compared to humans, and the feats they can achieve. This fic does not pass over this at all. Never fear, despite his fortitude Legolas is still whumped! I also appreciate how every character is really a character in this fic. Many times I find that the characters who are the focus of a fic are the only people in the story with any depth, and the other characters are written more like props in the background. Even with a group of so many characters, Indigo Bunting does them justice. A thrilling read, I cannot recommend it enough.

The Mellon Chronicles - Cassia and Siobhan

Characters: Legolas, Aragorn, Thranduil, Elladan, Elrohir, Elrond, and more

Words: 1,364,199

Summary: The Chronicles are a series of fics, starting with stories of Legolas’ and Aragorn’s childhoods, and then eventually how the two meet and become friends and the misadventures they have together.

Warnings: 

A couple of the stories contain non-con elements, I’m not sure how severe as I skipped those parts, but there are warnings within the AO3 system on those specific fics.

It may go without saying on a whump blog, but there is particularly large amount of graphic violence and torture in these fics which will also be listed on the individual fics in the AO3 system

Some of them also deal with abuse of a minor and injury to a minor (if you’ve followed me for I while you might know I don’t normally read or rec any whump involving children but since I’m reccing the whole series, I’ll just include this as a warning) 

If these things are not ok for you, I still recommend the series as there are a lot of fluffy fics where none of these warnings apply!

Review: This one goes almost without saying as most LOTR fic readers of the 00s era will have read them. The series in it’s entirety is truly an epic. It’s packed with angst, hurt/comfort, and bromance goodness. These were some of the first whumpy fics I read when I was a kid, and I’ve included them partly for the nostalgia value. They aren’t just about the whump, but they have enough physical and emotional pain for me to include on this list with confidence. They definitely read like fanfiction written in that earlier time, with all the now-overdone tropes you would expect. But the love, care and passion for the characters and universe truly stand up to time, and these tales are absolutely still worth a read. Since the original site is no longer functional, the link above leads to a reposting of the chronicles, with individual descriptions for each fic.

[everlasting-deluge]

When We Were Young | 01

↠pairing: park jimin ⇆ reader (female) ⇆ kim namjoon

↠genre: angst, romance, song fic, Ex-lover!Jimin, Ex-lovers!AU, Childhood Love!AU, (kinda) Sugar Daddy!Namjoon

↠warnings: mention of disturbing subjects (Ex. suicide attempt, depression, anxiety), profanity

↠words: 5k

↠A/N: I’ve got the inspiration for this work from the song When We Were Young by Adele. This is the first chapter of the serie. I focused on character’s inner world rather than the outside one. I’d love to hear your thoughts on this work too, so don’t be afraid to send me some feedbacks.

➸  Nothing could prepare you for this fateful and haphazard encounter with him. He was there, right in front of you, looking at you with the same yearning that had been in your eyes for years now. Were you ready to face him? Were you ready to know the cause of those sleepless nights and your wet pillows?

❈ | Moodboard | Masterlist |

One, two, three, four… Ten.

Ten seconds of eye contact was what you needed for recalling the owner of those eyes, those beautiful soft dark brown eyes. They once looked at you with love and care, promised you the world, made you feel safe and complete; now, however, you could only see panic bolting in them.

He was confused, his eyes had widened only for a split-second was clearly hinting that; but his stiffened posture caused by him trying to restrain his emotions made you think something else was in the equation, another factor that needed to be added.

It didn’t really take you long to find that missing element, just following where his eyes were drifting away to. It was simple but also crushing; like, the elephant in the room suddenly decided that it was fed up with only sitting there. So instead, it started to jump on your newly healed heart with its tons of weight. The haphazard stitches became undone, and the blood leaked out from the wounds.

If your heart was like how it used to be, then there should have been no problem with carrying the weight. It had carried all that love for years. That cursed burden called love which brought you nothing but, supposedly, “never-ending” storms that ended with a grave silence.

Jimin was sitting at the table on the rightmost row, which your table was a part of as well; like you, the night view of the city on their right was presented by the huge windows kissing the ceiling from all the way down to the floor.You two could see each other’s faces clearly—against your own liking.

The beautiful lady sitting across from him was the reason behind the hesitation buried in his actions— you were assumming her beauty from behind; she had this perfect posture and a milk-white skin exposed by her back-revealing dark red velvet dress. You could hardly detect her voice speaking to Jimin among muffled background noises of the restaurant. Her voice was like her dress: velvety.

She then giggled, probably expecting him to react the same way, but Jimin was too absorbed by your presence to notice her request. Your whole being was covering his senses like a delicate lace curtain. He could rip you off only with his bare hands and come back to the real world, getting out of your mesmerizing shade, but he didn’t want to; the tulle brushing his face was leaving a funny tingle on his skin. He enjoyed seeing the world brokenly behind the little gaps between embroidery patterns. And everything else looked white, innocent-like. In that whiteness, he forgot what he’d done to you, what he’d done to you two’s “we”. His mind wandered among odds. Could he use “we” with you ever again? He’d considered the possibility for thousands of times before, but he had never dared to want more than he deserved. He could not be greedy; he had no right to be so. But if he had had the courage, he would have searched you everywhere; and when he had found you, he would have never let you go ever again. He did once, and it had almost cost him his life. Almost…

You saw him flinch as he trailed his gaze down, piercing his eyes away from yours. His girlfriend must have held his hand on the table. He smiled softly to her but softness didn’t reach to his eyes; the panic was still evident in them. The lady didn’t notice though, or she pretended to not to. In anyway, you could see that she had this huge impact on him. It was strong enough to not let him show his emotions towards you. This didn’t bother you, however; not like how it did in the past at least.

“____, are you okay?”

You wondered how you looked like through the eyes of the person sitting on the chair right in front of you. Rude, uninterested? A kid who had a focus-span less than ten minutes? You tried to read his expression, but it gave you nothing more than plain concern.

You hated it.

“Yes, I’m okay Namjoon. It was a tough day at the office, ’s all. Thank you for your concern.”

You smiled at him and returned to cutting the delicious-looking steak on your plate—which, maybe, had costed a full shopping cart of food that could serve you for a month. You weren’t paying, so you kept your mouth shut and tried to enjoy what’s given to you. You appreciated it, really. If it weren’t for him, you would never come to this kind of luxurious place, or eat costly meals in tight and revealing dresses combined with a pair of killer high heels. It simply was not in you; you weren’t suitable for these kinds of things. They were too much for your lifestyle shaped by the incomes of you and your parents’—which won’t fill a nutshell compared to Namjoon’s current earnings.

You told Namjoon what you’d felt about how he preferred to live his life. You didn’t want him to quit it altogether, of course not; but you asked him to tone it down a little and respect your boundaries when he was with you. He said that he would do anything for you; he said only you mattered to him, but you knew him better than that. The reflection of you in his eyes was someone else. And she was a complete stranger to you.

She was someone who enjoyed parties, getting social and talkative; she was fond of getting dressed up and minding her manners. The present you in front of him was just an empty shell he can fill up with his desires and standards. You were just a potential to him and nothing more, only waiting for someone to actualize you. Whenever you showed your distress about the whole thing and refused to do as you were told he would say,

“You are beautiful ____, but your own eyes are helpless when it comes to seeing your true beauty under this… Well, neglected layer. You can be so much more, love; you have the potential to be so. We just have to find the real you hidden inside and when we do, I assure you, you’ll feel better. Let me help you, ____.”

Yesterday, you two had planned tonight’s dinner date. While you two had been planning, you’d emphasized that you wanted it to be simple and casual. You’d asked him to come over to your place and prepare dinner with you; you’d thought it would help deepen your bond, plus it would be cute to mess around a little in the kitchen. You just wanted to see him in his “casual” habitat. It’d been two months since you two start dating, but you knew nothing about him other than general personal informations, his family being an acquaintance of your family and him having enough money to spend like there’s no tomorrow. 

Namjoon had promised you a calm and sweet dinner, only you two in a romantic atmosphere.

While you were dreaming about how this date would have been like if he’d just stuck to the plan and had kept his promise, like a cuckoo clock warning you about the passing time, the waitress startled you when she asked if you needed anything else. This made you look up from your glass half filled with red wine and see the painful reality. You two were not alone, neither casual, and were far away from your definition of a sweet romantic dinner. And the privacy… You’d rather not think about that.

“No, thank you. We’re fine.”

The waitress smiled and with a small nod she left you two to your own miserable night.

You fixed your gaze on Namjoon after looking around and thinking how you ended up in there. He was wearing a black suit and his hair was styled nicely, granting him a sharp-look along with the glasses he wore. Everything on him was screaming money and power, everything on him was matched with his aura; he owned it all. Nothing looked out of place, unlike you. You were stiff, unnatural. People would immediately understand that you were not a part of this world; you were unsuited, not born for this. Yet, Namjoon has claimed that he saw something in you that no one ever did, including yourself. He believed that you belonged to where he was standing, the world of elites; he believed that you belonged to him. But you have never been his or someone else’s and you were never going to be. You belonged to you, and you were sick of pretending like someone else. You’ve never wanted to be better. You were enjoying the life plenty with this version of you.

You’ve missed wearing baggy and comfortable clothes when you went out; staying at home, settling on your little counter beside the window (which had an amazing view at this time of the year) and reading your favorite book on there while drinking your calming tea.

Ah, you’ve missed the autumn in Busan; you’ve missed riding your bike to the beach and watching the sun set bit by bit until it submerged into the sea completely, as lines and colors mixed all together and formed the starry sky along with the moon. You’ve missed the autumn in Busan with him. You’ve missed Park Jimin.

And now, he was right there, a few meters away. You’ve always dreamed; what if you saw him again, what if you had a chance to talk. What would you say?

I’ve missed you,

I still love you.

Come back to me…

Just the possibilities themselves were enough to make you nauseous. Whenever the thought corossed your mind, something warm would emanate your heart at the spot; welcoming and familiar… Then his face would appear in your head. Untouched and eternal… As if the cruel time made him an exception and let him pass without giving his youth as an exchange.

The Jimin in your head was young and full of love. He was smiling ear to ear. In contrast with his widening smile, his eyes were getting smaller. You’d loved to see him smile; you would feel instant relief when he showed his pearl-white teeth to the world and blessed the living.

You’ve always thought you would feel the same way when you meet him again, the emotions from the past would flourish and wind your heart with their arms like a poison ivy.

The first taste from the poison would always feel pleasant and heavenly; but when it found its way through your veins and swam in your every cell, it would kill you gradually. Even though feeling the slow-coming end, you would still try to cherish every little piece it’s given to you. Even after all that pain and darkness, you would still feel grateful for all those memories he made with you. But the worst part would always be the time when you realize that you still carved it. Because once you tasted it, it just felt… right. As if it should have been there from the start, as if it was your part you’ve been missing all this time.

The emotions were there still, along with the poison itself; but you weren’t.

The fog in your head was thicker now, concealing the last remaining pieces of who you used to be. The shared laughters, glances, words… Everything was now swallowed by The Fog of Remedy. You’ve done this to yourself, you needed to forget if you wanted to heal. And this was what you’d wanted from the start: to forget.

You’d never thought at some point of your life you would want to get rid of those meaningful memories… to get rid of him. You’d wished not to do so. You’d wished to keep them with you so that the Jimin in those scenes can stay young and hidden. A Jimin had never gotten the touch of Time; a Jimin never gave up on you and what you two once had… You’d felt like that was the only connection you had with him: The old rusty memories smelled like fresh daisies, just like the time when you two went to the forest for your second anniversary.

But people can change, just like how emotions do. Now, the pain in your heart wasn’t the result of those never ending nights you’d kept thinking about where you did the wrong, where you shot the last bullet. Now, it resulted from your overwhelmed state caused by none other than Park Jimin sitting a few meters away: You were glad for seeing him once again; you were angry at him still looking like how he stayed in your thoughts, young and ethereal; you were sad for thinking how you two ended up like this at the very end; two strangers once shared a single heart.

‘Jimin, you bast–’

You irked with the sudden coldness on your hand. Getting your head up from your gold engraved plate, you looked at the culprit of the goosebumps on your arms.

Namjoon was holdings your hand as if it was made of glass. The hold was gentle, and when you’d gotten used to its temperature, it felt warm. He had the same gentleness in his face, too. When you met with his eyes, however; his gaze intensified, making you feel vulnerable and small. He was a man who got the power of money always beside him, but he himself, too, possessed a great strength that made people feel weak under those sharp eyes.

You’d used to compare his eyes with Jimin’s. They differed greatly from one another but also somehow found a way to shine as if they belonged to the same person.

Namjoon’s eyes were a lot more defined than Jimin’s. They were heavy with the given responsibilities at such young age. Namjoon tasted success earlier than most did; but like any other thing in this world, it came with a price. Probably, he’d not had the chance to do most people did at around his age: like not thinking about the fact that actions he took constantly monitored by people who waited eagerly for his demise, or enjoying a single freaking normal dinner date with his girlfriend, etcetera, etcetera…

But even so, sometimes his eyes had this familiar shine in them. You had seen it when you two met for the first time and you had seen it before in Jimin’s eyes too. Namjoon had smiled at you when you two exchanged your names, and that was the moment you had decided to leave the past behind and try to move on. Maybe that familiarity in his pupils had urged you to take a step forward, or maybe you’d been fooled by it just to see that familiar shine was a delusion of your longing for Jimin.

You had let go of the strings and let the destiny do her job; no more playing the blind, playing “the victim”. This had led you to accept your parents invitation to meet with their close friends—who were wealthy and had a handsome and also successful son at your age, according to your parents. Now here you were, sitting across from him with a title always came before your birth-given name:

Namjoon’s girlfriend.

Namjoon’s hand was still on yours. You briefly smiled at him, which led him to do the same. After making sure you were okay again, he lifted his hand and returned to his meal. You were going to do the same– No; you had to do the same, but something was urging you to look at Jimin’s eyes. You wanted to look at them, The Present Jimin’s eyes to see if they were how you remembered, longed them to be. You wanted to be sure they shimmered the same way they did years ago. So you obeyed to the little voice and lifted your head up, but inside you were praying that he was minding his own business so you two didn’t lock eyes. You closed your eyes for a second; after exhaling, you lifted your head to look straight ahead.

Jimin saw your closed eyes and got worried a little. You were not okay, possibly his fault. He wasn’t expecting you to look at him directly; but you did, and he forgot how to breathe. You were still beautiful, as if the time had stopped just for you. Your eyes, lips, nose… Every inch of you drowned him in nostalgia. He remembered how he’d looked at you and you’d looked back at him like you two were the only beings in the universe. He remembered how he used to kiss you starting from your forehead to your chin. If the mood was right, he would slowly nibble at your little sensitive spot just under the right ear, and from there to your neck. Soon after, he would keep going down to ravish your whole body.

He tried to recall how your lips felt like on his skin. You would kiss him gently when you had to wake him up from his slumber, and he would groan to protest. He would smile into the kiss, make you giggle to. He loved your laugh and every sound you’d make whenever you opened your pretty little mouth. From your most heartfelt laughters to your sexiest moans, he remembered them all like yesterday. He missed them; he missed you.

And your eyes… Your eyes that held the galaxy in them. They had never left him, always looking with lust in his most private dreams. The eyes used to brighten his darkest nights… He focused on your eyes solely with a hope to see the beautiful Milky Way in them, but what he’d seen broke his heart. The galaxy was gone along with the warmth always melted him on the spot. The stars were now replaced by meteors wandering aimlessly in the void. Your eyes were looking lost; they were focused on his eyes but somehow it felt like they were trying to see something behind them, something placed way deeper. Jimin could see pieces of hope scattered in your eyes, barely shining but still there. Seeing this, he once again remembered the grave sin he’d committed. He should have never left you. He did this to you, and he never hated himself more than this very moment.

Jimin’s strong gaze made you uncomfortable, but you refused to look away. You needed validation, a proof that the man you were looking in the eye was your Jimin. You tried harder, looked deeper; but, the feeling never came. You couldn’t see him; he was not there anymore. He was someone else, like how you were. Life has been harsh for you both, forcing you to change. You’d done your best to hold on, you were sure he did the same, too. Because that’s how life is like, adapt or die.

Suddenly, Namjoon’s loud voice tore your thoughts, as keen as a fine knife.

“____, tell me what is wrong?! Just don’t avoid my questions anymore, please. I need to know why you’re crying.”

‘Crying…? What?’

You touched your cheeks; they were indeed wet. It was hilarious how you didn’t notice your own tears pouring down. They were visiting the corner of your lips and then reaching your chin. Out of curiosity, you licked the liquid. It was salty, of course; but you tasted something else, too. It tasted like disappointment. Then you realized that the liquid escaped from your eyes, was actually the poison itself; it was pouring out of you, not finding any more cell or joint to fill up. It was spilling out of your eyes. You used to wonder how it would look like in real life, an image of tar was always in your mind; but this transparent form of it had never once crossed your mind. It was looking exactly like tears, taking you aback.

You were sure, however; you knew that it was the poison. You were feeling the fullness inside of you, organs crushing in the fluid surrounding them. Especially your heart was finding it hard to work properly, your lungs were almost giving up. You were full and now it was spilling. One drop fell down to the red tablecloth—like any of the other thing in the restaurant, you guess it was an expensive piece. Looking at the wet spot on the soft fabric, you came back to your senses and without giving it a chance to spoil your makeup any further; you grabbed the nearest napkin and pressed it to your cheeks and eyes, careful not to ruin your mascara.

“I’m sorry Namjoon. I’m as surprised as you are. I don’t know what happened to me. It’s just… I think I got overwhelmed for a second there. I’m sorry. I’ll be okay once I go to the restroom, excuse me please.”

As you were making your leave, he grasped your wrist and didn’t let you stand up. You gasped. He sighed and spoke,

“You have nothing to apologize for, I should be the one to do so. I’m sorry for rising my voice; it was stupid of me. I was just- I was just worried. From the moment we came here, your mind has been somewhere else. You barely said anything and just got lost in your thoughts. You sure you okay? If you want to, we can leave now. Just say the word, I’m here.”

After finishing what he’d thought to say from the moment he had realized something was off, Namjoon closed the gap between you two over the table. He stretched his right arm towards the torn napkin piece stuck to your left cheek, wet from your tears. His fingers gently brushed your skin as he picked up the piece. You couldn’t help but notice the unnecessary contact he displayed. You were not uncomfortable because of his touch, no, but because of your heart speeding up despite the ivy surrounding it. And this was causing an intolerable pain deep in your chest. It wasn’t supposed to be like this, it wasn’t supposed to feel something.

You held your breath until he took his seat once again, thinking t it would help you calm down. It was your first time seeing him this compassionate. You muttered a thanks and then left your table, heading to where the restrooms were.

The restrooms were placed at inner left corner. Men and women both were using the same entrance and then separating their ways. You stopped at the common entrance for a second and looked back, seeing Namjoon checking his phone. Then you felt someone else’s gaze over you; sliding your eyes a little to left, you saw Jimin looking back at you. He, however, didn’t give you enough time to interpret his expression; facing the lady sitting in front of him and saying something. You saw his lips moving but couldn’t determine the words. Leaving him like that, you continued to walk further, finding the door for ladies and entering.

As expected, the restroom was also high quality. Looking at the crystal chandelier swinging from the ceiling, you once again found yourself doubting what the fuck were you doing there. This was simply going overboard. Deciding on finishing as quickly as you could manage, you stood in front of the big mirror placed above the sinks. It was embellished with gold leaves around the corners; the taps were also gold.

You swore under your breath and turned on the hot water. When the temperature was right, you placed your hands under it. That felt refreshing. At that moment you noticed your shaking hands. You squeezed them slightly to stop them. With the water, it looked like it worked; they were not shaking anymore. You wanted to splash some water to your face but the damn makeup was holding you back; since you had left the table in a hurry, you forgot to bring your purse with you.

A sign made its way throughout your mouth as you turned off the running water. Looking at the mirror, you thanked Namjoon for buying you a quality mascara, or else it would be ruined by now after all that crying. Actually, you thanked Namjoon for a lot of things: The dress you were in, this classy restaurant he brought you and paid for all those expensive chef’s specials… But most importantly, you thanked him for helping you gain your life energy back—though at some point he didn’t know where to stop. He was one of your coping mechanisms; you relayed on him to make you forget. He was the one who helped you create The Fog of Remedy; maybe he was the fog itself. You didn’t know for sure. However, denying his impact on your life would be something only a fool would do. You were not a fool, certainly not, and this simple fact was the cause of why you hated yourself.

He was a good person; generous, kind, thoughtful (sometimes way too much thoughtful). He knew what you’d been going through at the time when you two first met. He’d been aware that someone else had your heart with them. Even though he was far, far away, his clutches hadn’t been letting go off you. But he still had accepted to see you, be with you. You told him numerous times that you wouldn’t ever love him like you did for Jimin, that he would never be The One despite how much effort he put in it. And all he’d said was he knew all the consequences and was still accepting you no matter what. He was the one who has suggested to date; he was the one who had chosen you; but still you could shake off the feeling of you taking advantage of him. He was giving you so much, but all you were doing was crying over a man who left you five years ago. You were feeling bad for not returning his love back to Namjoon; it was getting swallowed by the black hole within you, that dark abyss of self-hatred.

Namjoon truly was a good man; he deserved more than this, more than you.

You were still looking at the mirror, lost in thoughts and the memories embedded in your eyes. The sudden opening of the door made you jump, testing your reflexes. They were still working, good.

The woman who had entered the room looked at you, as surprised as you are. She then closed the distance between you two in a second and whilst doing so she spoke, concern was leaking out of her mouth:

“Oh mine, did I scare you, honey? You look like you saw a ghost. I know I’m old but I don’t plan to die anytime soon.”

She laughed, her voice echoing among tiles on the walls. Seeing your panicking face, you not knowing how to answer back; she continued softly to save you from the burden.

“I’m so sorry, I couldn’t control my strength. It happens sometimes when you come to this age.”

As she kept coming closer, you found it easier to examine her features. She was an elderly woman, probably in her mid-fifties or even older than that—you’d learned to not to judge a book by its cover, especially in this world. Her gray tinted hair was made into a decent bun; her eyes were as clear as still water despite her age, emphasized with a subdued make up. Her untouched wrinkles were looking like holding so many memories, like they had so many stories to share.

You loved how she looked so naturally stunning. Her dioptase and diamond necklace and earrings were completing the pine green dress she wore. Everything was in place, everything was complimentary. She was doubtlessly from the world of elites; she owned it all as if she was born for this—just like Namjoon.

“I’m okay, really. I was just lost in thoughts, that’s why I reacted so absurdly. There’s nothing to apologize for.”

Her eyes directed at you were as if they were looking into your soul, but not hastily. They had this motherly tenderness in them, the kind that would make you want to cry on her shoulders for hours as she pats your back rhythmically. Her gaze felt more like she was checking you out if you were okay as you claimed to be. But then they narrowed, had she found something?

“You don’t look okay, young lady. And I’m sure that’s not just because of that little incident we had. Now tell me, are you okay?”

Tonight for once, you wanted to be honest. You wanted to be true to yourself, so you looked straight into eyes of the beautiful woman standing in front of you; smiling sadly,

“No… No, I- I’m not okay.”

You fought to stop the building tears, but it was a futile attempt. They ran, and you chased.

You always hated being a burden to people around you. Even when the time Jimin had left, you’d lived everything inside, suffering silently. The storms must not reach the others, just you. But now, you were crying… in front of a complete stranger. Not knowing her name, her age, her job… But this vagueness calmed your heart, freed your emotions. You were vulnerable, and that was okay, for the first time in your life.

You saw here blurry form hesitating over whether to hug you or to let you be, at the end she put her hand on your arm and rub it comfortingly. It did wonders, and you thanked her.

“I’m sorry. It might not look like it, but actually I’m not the type to burst into tears in front of people. The things happened today finally started kick in, I guess. I’m sorry again, and thankful as well.”

She smiled sympathetically, showing her adorable dimples. It warmed your heart.

“It looks like a personal matter, so I won’t meddle any further than this. But I do want to give you an advice, if you can accept this old lady’s habit came with age.”

You nodded slowly, giving her the cue she needed to continue.

“To me, it looks like you have too much weight. You might think you need them all, but believe me, you don’t. Once you sit down and think you’ll see it too-the unnecessary weight you’ve carried all this time. You need to throw them down to rise. You’ll soar like a bird.”

“Your sky might be still dark; but when you pass the clouds, the moon and the stars shall brighten up your darkest nights. So trust me, just let go. Because if you continue to carry the weight, it will drag you down further; and when you pass the line, the naked branches of trees sharpened like knives will be there, waiting for you.”

The lady was frowning now, exposing the deep wrinkles around her eyes and between her eyebrows. You looked at her with round eyes. You wanted to deny, to once again start play the blind; but she was right. She was right ‘till the fucking end. And you were frightened, confused. Noticing the face you were making, she grabbed your shoulders and gave them a fine squeeze. Her action made you return to reality. You had to make a choice, and you had to do it as soon as possible. The weights were not only dragging you down, but the people around you too. For their sake, for your own sake. You had to cut their ropes immediately, free yourself from that burden.

You thought about the first thing had appeared in your mind while listening to her. The seeds of the idea were already had been sown from the beginning, but not until now you realized their roots caging your heart in. It sounded wrong, stupid; but you’d decided. You were going to do it no matter what the consequences will be. It was your life, your call. And broken hearts were inevitable. You had collected the shreds before, you could do it once again; nothing was new.

You smiled, her glassy eyes shining under the soft yellow light of the crystal chandelier

“Thank you so much for your advice, ma’am. I’ll keep it in my heart.”

“In your heart…? Aren’t you a peculiar one.”

She chuckled softly.

“I think I have to return now, someone’s waiting for me. Thank you once again and have a nice evening.”

You smiled.

“You too, young lady.”

You left the restroom after that, saying goodbye to the woman and the chandelier. You were now at the common corridor, the mind full of thoughts. You were looking down while walking, not noticing the person standing on your way. You bumped into them, fortunately you were not hurrying to return your table—not really looking forward to it, either. Your head hit their chest; it hurt more than you would anticipate. You didn’t look up yet, but their muscles were something; they didn’t feel that buff, more like an athletic body.

The person you bumped held your upper arms with their two hands, forcing you to look up. And you did, but you regretted. You’d blinked a few times to adjust the blinding white light coming from the back, you were looking like an idiot, probably. Who could blame you, though? The fucking quality fluorescents were to blame, not your eyes fell victim.

He moved his head to left—The person was a man, you’d figured it out that much—blocking the light burning your eyes. The more your eyes focused, the more strongly you wished to vanish. Your brain was screaming at you to run as far as you can, leave the country, burn your phone, get a new ID, start a life away from all of this. However, it was too late, he had his claws on you now; there was no escape.

You saw his moving lips but his voice wasn’t reaching you. You tried to focus with all your might on what he’d been saying . You caught a few things, but your brain refused to put a meaning into them. Jimin was looking at you worriedly now, you felt his fingers going deeper on your flesh. The pain worked, you once again started to hear, the voices of people speaking, forks and knives grazing the porcelain… But you had to focus on him, so you faced him properly this time; only one word spilling out of your mouth:

“Park Jimin… “

His eyes widened for a split-second; then they melted with affection, softened and sparkly. He was dazzling.

His red plump lips opened slightly—the redness was caused by him chewing them out of stress, no doubt. He spoke, his silky voice caressing your ears and leaving red blossoms behind.

“Hello, ____”

↠A/N pt.2: Hellooooo!!!! I’M BACCK!!! I’m sorry, this took me ages to post but I’m satisfied with the outcome and I hope you are too. This is my longest post so far and it’s only the first chapter. I’m planinig to make this serie two chapters long. I’ve already started to write the second chap. My uni’s starting so I’m not really sure how long will it take me to post it, but I’ll try to finish it asap. Thank you so much for reading. Have a nice day!!! 💜

And if you like it please like or reblog so that I can see!!!

[wildcardwriting]

How Social Media Infected the Glory Pro Circle #1

(or Conversations Most of the Glory Pro Community Would Like to Forget Existed) 

[King’s Avatar /全职高手 - 蝴蝶蓝 | Quánzhí Gāoshǒu - Húdié Lán ]

Next Chapter |  Read on AO3

Summary: Or Ye Xiu is forced to deal with his fans. No one saw what was coming next.Because the alliance wants more exposure (i.e. fame) for the pro gamers, all pros are mandated to respond to questions from the fans.Naturally, this leads to some...strange conversations and some stranger answers. Likely will lead into AU TKA UniversePart Story, and TKA fun. Will include some social media.

XXxxxxxXX

Chapter #1: When Reddit Happens

XXxxxxxXX

Congratulations all! Due to the huge popularity and demand, the alliance is opening a Reddit forum to allow fans to ask their favorite pros questions.

*Note: All pros will be listed with the following style; Team Name/Name

As a reminder, all submitters must abide by the rules. Any inappropriate questions will be removed, and the users will be punished.

Edit #1: Silver Equipment Questions can be directed to a separate AMA here.

Edit #2: Theories and Analysis of Current and Past Matches can be found here.

Edit #3: Everything about the Rare and Mysterious Ye Qiu is on this thread.

New! AMA Ye Qiu Thread, click here.

LastManStanding4all:

What games did you play professionally and how much "training" was required before you were ready for tournament play?

Top Answer (Star) Upvoted 689

Exellent Era (Xue Mingkai): I played plenty of games, but I started really getting serious around the time Glory came out. I played about 4-8 hours a day until I thought I was good enough to start going to tournaments but, it took a few months for me to get good enough to do well at the tournaments.

See all 20+ Pro replies  2.1k Comments Share Save Hide Report  Continue to thread->

Prettyspiteful:

How common is it for a somewhat weaker gamer to beat a stronger one? Is it like baseball where even the Royals will often beat the Yankees, or more like chess where a 1400-rated player will NEVER beat a 1,700.

Top Answer: (Star) Upvoted 894

Tiny Herb (Wang Jiexi): Pretty uncommon. This can vary a lot from game to game but, generally speaking the games and settings are selected to be as skill based as possible with very few random factors. So big upsets can happen but, whenever they do happen they are usually a fairly big deal within that games community.

See all 5+ Pro replies  1.0k Comments Share Save Hide Report  

Newbie2Glory:

Is there one guy who's generally acknowledged as the best all-around pro gamer?

Top Answer: (Mega Star) Upvoted 12k+

Excellent Era (Wu Xuefeng): Captain is generally considered the best player. He is known as the Glory Textbook for his skill and knowledge of all classes, inventing moves, and creating tactics. If you would like to learn or are interested in playing Glory, here are a few of his guides.

*Note: Excellent Era will be uploading the Complete Beginners Guide to Glory By: Ye Qui on their team's website.

See all 30+ Pro replies  10.0k+ Comments Share Save Hide Report  Continue to thread->

Lols4Life:

What's the longest playing session you've ever put in? Do you ever go to bed and see game images dancing in your brain?

Top Answer: (Star) Upvoted 1.4k

Excellent Era (Yin Xiong): I would guess about 8-10 hours, although that would be with a couple breaks in there for food and such. Also, yes, the game images in my mind before going to bed does happen. Constantly. But its better than laps with Xue Mingkai, or dodge practice with Ye Qiu.

     AllergictoSecrets:  What does that last part even mean? More info, please?  Upvoted 5k+

              Excellent Era (Xue Mingkai): Way to out me. Expect more laps Nurse. And fyi YQ is the one who orginally made me run laps. Upvoted 5k+

                      K.Lin: I have so many questions. Upvoted 3.4k+

                            Dazzling Blossoms (Sun Zheping): YQ running laps? I call lie! YQ doesn't do excerise. If he needs to get anywhere he'll just push himself in his computer chair. Upvoted 250+

                               Excellent Era (Qin Tianran): I have to wonder if this is the reason why WXF crushed you so badly in our last fight. YQ doesn't read anything online but vice-cap does and he knows within seconds of someone insulting YQ. Upvoted 1.2k+

See all 16+ Pro replies  37.0k+ Comments Share Save Hide Report  Continue to thread->

Ye Who Shall Not Be Named:

Isn't there a little part of you who misses the days when controllers were no more than A / B + directional arrows? I gave up on videogames once they added 15 different buttons + a rumbling gyroscope or whatever that thing is.

Top Answer: (Star) Upvoted 3.0k

Jade Dynesty (Lin Yi): All the time. Except I don't think I could take it if we were still playing using the old controllers and YQ still managed to beat me.

  Blue Rain (Fang Shijing): Why do all these answers always seem to mention YQ. That guy gets enough attention! Upvoted 1.02k+

    [deleted] Windward Formation comment was removed for cursing.

     See all 19+ Pro replies  3.0k+ Comments Share Save Hide Report

Taking_Notes:

How do gamers get sponsors?

Top Answer: (Star) Upvoted 1.03k

      Hundred Blossoms (Zhang Jiale): Oh boy, I guess I'll answer this question since no one else has. There are a few methods, I'll list the ones I've seen work but there are probably more I don't know about... [click to see rest of comment]

         Excellent Era (Qin Tianran): In the words of captain, 'too bothersome'. Upvoted 987+

              Jade Dynesty (Lin Yi): And yet there are still calls for him to do adversting... Upvoted 1.01k

See all 14+ Pro replies  1.0k+ Comments Share Save Hide Report

SnowDancer:

Can you tell us any interesting facts about pros that aren't really known? (I'm asking about cute stories, or generally facts, I don't want anything too big.)

Top Answer: (Star) Upvoted 15.03k+

Excellent Era (Xue Mingkai): Captain Ye's eyes in pictures. Apparently that actually happens.

 Excellent Era (Wu Xuefeng): His love of waffle fries. Upvoted 4.31k+

   Excellent Era (Xie Ming): His fashion sense. Upvoted 3.54 k+

      Excellent Era (Qin Tianran): Is that why you dragged him and Dancing Rain shopping? Upvoted 5.62k+

         Excellent Era (Xie Ming): Obivously. Though I cannot say whether it worked. Upvoted 6.32k+

              Wild_Fighter: I love how this turned into EE facts.

See all 28+ Pro replies  54.0k+ Comments Share Save Hide Report  Continue to thread->

AskingtheRealQuestions:

I've seen all the pros answer a question at least once,but I've never seen YQ. Is he ever going to answer anything?

Top Answer: (Star) Upvoted 18.31k+

Excellent Era (Yin Xiong): Someone finally noticed.

  Excellent Era (Qin Tianran): Depends if we can unearth him from his gaming chair Glory. Upvoted 5.02 k+

     Excellent Era (Xie Ming): Captain Ye is very hard working. Upvoted 2.31k+

       Excellent Era (Wu Xuefeng): And apparently all knowing because he says to go practice. Upvoted 6.32k+

          Excellent Era (Qin Tianran): %#$%#%#$%#$ Going! I'm going!

              FindinGsOMEAnswers: WXF is team dad, and I ever knew I needed this fact in my life.

Game Master [NM MegaSound]: Due to a huge amount of emails and requests YQ will have his own AMA on this thread.]

Excellent Era (Xue Mingkai) I think I speak for everyone when I say finally. Upvoted 25.49k+

XXxxxxXX

Ye Xiu sighed as he was pushed into learning about Reddit. Ever since the Alliance had managed to gain popularity during its second season, there was a greater focus on advertising that he couldn't quite understand. Pro Gamers, usually seen as lazy, unemployed people were now being thrown into the spotlight and even though he had thus far managed to avoid being forced into doing anything, his luck had apparently run out.

Unlike other interviews and sponsorship meetings that he could get out of by paying a fee, this new Social Media thing was apparently important enough to force changes. Wang Shi, the Chairman himself, had come all the way to Excellent Era and begged him to take part, even offering incentives that he knew Ye Qiu couldn't ignore.

No fees for interviews? Done.

No fees for Sponsorship meetings? Done.

But it was the final two incentives offered by Tao Xuan himself that Ye Xiu had faltered for.

Ownership of both Dancing Rain and Autumn Tree[1] if he answered questions and gained a minimum of 100 asks.

And so, that was how, Ye Xiu found himself in front of a computer, not playing Glory for once but patiently listening to Wu Xuefeng explains the ins and outs of a social media site—

"Do you understand, Captain?" Wu Xuefeng asked leaning back in his chair.

Ye Xiu nodded and watched his vice-captain leave to go lecture Qin Tianran and Xue Mingkai both of whom were starting to fight again.

Moving his mouse to the AMA question email inbox, Ye Xiu started scrolling through the questions already submitted. To his surprise, there was far more than a dozen, or even a hundred. Glancing to his left, he was shocked to see the 999+ hovering by the inbox. He had never thought he would get so many questions, rubbing his eyes, he got to work.

It was going to be a long night.

XXxxxxXX

AMA: Ye Qiu Edition [2]

StraightTalker:  When you tell a non-gamer that you play professionally, do they usually react positively or negatively? What about people you've been romantically interested in?

OneLeafofTwo (Ye Qiu)

    I once told one of my family members I was going to play professionally. I ignored the next five minutes of him telling me to go home. Most reactions are negative. The only positive reaction I had was from a friend. Never found anyone romantically because I was too busy winning championchips.

ManBearPig:  What's the weirdest thing you've ever been asked?

OneLeafofTwo (Ye Qiu):

      Is Old Han part of the mafia?

SundialQ:  If you hadn't become a battlemage in the pro scene what class would you have choosen?

OneLeafofTwo (Ye Qiu):

      Whatever class was needed or useful. Except for Cleric. My friend choose this class for me because there was too few good battlemages when Glory first came out and Battlemage was a highly complicated class.

UbvranCover:  What's one thing you regret about your Glory Career?

OneLeafofTwo (Ye Qiu):

     Having to be under spotlights during matches.

PrinceofFluffy:  There are rumors that you are an alien. How do you reply?

OneLeafof Two (Ye Qiu):

     Disbelief. How is this even a question?

CasefilesKK:  When you go out do you keep wearing your mask?

OneLeafof Two (Ye Qiu):

     Without. There's no point to wearing the mask if no one knows what I look like.

BloodFollowsFight:  How do you feel about ALLYe?

OneLeafofTwo (Ye Qiu):

    All What?

OnePieceofGold:  How do you feel about HanYe?

 OneLeafof Two (Ye Qiu):

     What does this even mean? Is Old Han trying to beat me?

See all 29+ Pro replies  387.0k+ Comments Share Save Hide Report

XXxxxXX

That first post is like a spark that seemed to set off everyone in the Glory community. Other pros were weighing in and forums everywhere were exploding as users were screen shotting their questions, most beyond shocked that the highly elusive and rare God of Glory was actually communicating. Wiki pages once so bare of data of the most powerful and shadowy existence that was the battle god were quickly edited and re-edited as more and more answers begun appearing on Reddit.

The moment that the news went viral, the newspapers were filled with information, and before long even more and more questions started being sent to Ye Xiu, to the complete shock of Wang Shi and Tao Xuan, both of whom knew that Ye Qiu had a following the Glory community but neither of them knew it was anything like this.

Already, Ye Qiu's AMA was trending on Weibo and nearly every social site that was even remotely popular, and yet no one was asking him to unmask. It was mind boggling because Ye Qiu thought that would be one of the only questions he would receive, and yet from all the hundreds of questions he answered, it had only appeared a few times.

Unfortunately, even though he had met his goal in the first few hours of his posts, the number of questions in his box was still exploding.

How was he ever going to finish this mess?

XXxxxXX

Thankfully, he didn't have to wait long as after Tao Xuan made some calls to the PR group they had on retainer for situations like this. Based on their information and a suitable recommendation, Ye Xiu was given an assistant to help streamline the process, so that instead of him having to type everything manually he could do other things, such as captain his team.

The assistant was incredibly efficient and moved several questions over to a new thread that was due to open in the new week, while she deleted a large number of rather misleading, or crude questions. She worked with him, while he sat at the computer, or at his desk typing up comments to questions.

And so, Ye Xiu thought that was the end of it.

He was wrong.

XXxxxxXX

[1] In this fanfiction Tao Xuan had kept Autumn Tree and he had just been waiting for YX to purchase it back from him. However, even at rock bottom prices, YX was having problems getting the money together while being fined and taking care of Su Mucheng. In addition, as this fanfic takes place during Season 3, I headcanon that Su Mucheng is finishing up in the EE Training camp and her card was purchased (Though I don't know if this is actually a thing that happens.)

[2] Unlike other Reddit thread Ye Qiu is answering questions after the fact, instead of during a time slot like is normally done. I don't know if this possible, or under what circumstances, but here it is.

Reddit will not be the only social media site I add.

Questions were borrowed/created from the AMA on Reddit and Jobstr, all their work belongs to them.

Next Chapter |  Read on AO3

[cbapk]

Okay, so, I’ve been doing writing commissions via one of my other blogs for like a year and my first dip into it worked out pretty well, but I figured I could probably make a little more money doing them over here too. This is basically the exact same post as the one on my other blog, just rewritten to better reflect this blog.

☆Writing Examples☆

Example #1: From “Trial and Error”, my baby and the longest work I have ever written (and it’s still going, wow). If you’ve been here for a while, you already know that T&E is rife with sensitive content and the warnings should be heeded.

Example #2: From “Dead Man Walking”, another baby of mine that is... Pending an update. It’s totally sfw as far as sexual content or gore go at the moment, though. Worst thing you’ll encounter is some stuff I tagged wrong (D.I.D. that isn’t necessarily actually D.I.D.) and need to re-tag in a more accurate way, honestly.

☆Will☆

Pretty much anything.

This does include OCs/Self-Inserts, Self-Shipping, etc.

In fact I encourage OCs/Self-Inserts, and Self-Shipping!

NSFW is also allowed. On principle I won’t ask you to prove your age because I feel it’s an invasion of privacy but please do not commission me for sexual content if you are under 18.

Oneshots!

☆Will Not☆

Black Mirror (tv series)

Big Mouth (tv series)

P*dophilia

Inc*st

Anything blatantly transphobic, homophobic, racist, or otherwise exclusionary.

Fart kink.

Chapter fics

☆Why?☆

In order:

Show grossed me out or triggered me

I’m not touching p*do or inc*st with lava-proof gloves, babe.

I’m not an exclusionary asshole.

However, if you can provide to me a legitimate reason why I should write this (ie, it’s a reflection of something that happened to you, it’s a narrative you think needs to be seen to spread awareness, the excluded character overcomes the exclusion in the end, etc...) I will potentially make an exception.

It’s really just not my thing and I’ve written it before but I’m not keen on doing it again.

I just don’t have the time or the focus right now to work on anything multi-chapter outside of personal projects and older commissions from the last batch that I’m still finishing up.

☆Fandoms☆

Put incredibly simply, if I can get a healthy understanding of it through research it in under two hours, I’ll write it.

If I already have a healthy understanding, I’ll write it.

If I do not already have a healthy understanding and cannot gain that understanding through research in under two hours, we might just have to get back to each other when I’m up for more than two hour research sessions. At this time I can’t really spend more than two hours researching anything.

I also write ORIGINAL COMMISSIONS, not just FANDOM COMMISSIONS, so if you’ve got an original idea you’d like me to try writing, hit me up.

☆Prices☆

Oneshot (1K words or less) = $5USD. Price increases by $5 per 1000 words. (2K - $10, 3K - $15, etc). Discounts begin at 10K words.

I don’t apply a charge for time spent working or any sort of sales tax, so the prices you see are the prices you’ll pay no matter what.

Discounts no longer offered at 5K words because I need all the money I can get.

☆Payment☆

I’m willing to work with clients on payment if need be.

I will ask for half the base price upfront and the rest after completion, primarily to ensure I actually get paid for my work and that you are getting what you want out of the deal, since I am open at all stages of writing to changes you may want to make, within reason.

To clarify: $2.50 upfront, then the rest of the full price on completion.

If you want to pay the full price upfront, I’m cool with that too!

☆Refunds & Additional Words☆

If you decide you no longer want your commission before I finish it, tell me and I’ll do my best to refund what you’ve paid me. If you decide you don’t want it after I’ve finished it, I will retain the upfront payment to cover time spent working.

If you decide you don’t want your commission solely for money purposes, let me know, because I would be happy to simply shelf it for the time being and come back to it whenever the time comes that money is no longer an issue. In this case as well I will retain the upfront payment.

Additionally, should you decide after I’ve finished off a commission that you’d like it to be longer, that can definitely be arranged! I do charge for the additional words but it’s at the same rates as normal. So, basically if you get 3K and decide you want it to be about 4K instead, you can do that, and I’ll throw the additional $5 for the extra 1K on top of your total - no extra surcharges.

I accept payments via my PayPal, but other methods of payment can be discussed if needed.

☆Special Offers☆

For no extra cost, I will doodle a title page for your commission!

For $5USD each, I will add simple sketch illustrations to your commission.

For $10USD each, I will add mono-color lineart illustrations to your commission.

For $15USD each, I will add full color illustrations to your commission.

You do not have to accept special offers, they’re just there for people who might want them.

☆Estimated Completion Time☆

Between a couple of hours to a couple of days per project*, depending on what else is going on in my life and how much of my focus I can afford to devote at a time.

*I can be bribed to prioritize one commission at a time, thereby decreasing completion time in most cases. This costs $5.

☆Contact Info☆

If you’re interested in a commission, I can be reached here:

via my DMs

via email at thepuppetwolf@gmail.com OR fusedaesthetic@gmail.com

I check my emails 4 times a day and my DMs at least twice a day, so if I don’t get back to you immediately don’t get discouraged. I’ll likely get back to you within a day unless I’m having internet issues.

☆Openings☆

Oneshot Commissions: 7/8* Available

Priority Commissions: 1/1** Available

*Each slot accounts for 1 work, with a 20K word limit on each.

**Again, this is something you pay me for to get your commission done faster.

☆What You’re Helping Me Do By Commissioning Me☆

Under the cut since it’s not super pertinent but I figured I’d be kinda transparent about what I’d be using the money for.

(This list is subject to change but usually composed of the same stuff. Last updated 11/14/19.)

Get Married

Pay Bills

Buy Food and other household supplies

[ghostofvixx]

First Consequence |HRJ|

Words: 5k

Warnings: mentions of death + not everything related to Greek mythology is accurate.

Genre: fluff to angst.

***

“When, due to certain reasons, Pandora’s box is opened, Renjun, as a guardian angel, has no option but to help everything go back to normal. However, he wasn’t expecting that “back to normal” would include helping a demon to get back to the underworld.”

Being a guardian angel at such a “young age” it’s not easy. Renjun knows a lot about it. His purpose in life is to make sure that the person/creature he has been assigned is safe until its life comes to an end, it doesn’t matter if it’s good or bad, he just has to do it.

Since he hasn’t lived as much as other angels, he is not as experienced to take care of a human, so meanwhile he has to do some “minor jobs”, just like the angels like to call them. They mostly consist of helping creatures with their jobs, in the best of the cases.

Renjun is not a lucky angel.

So he has to guard a demigod that is the definition of a scaredy-cat until he’s ready to “save the world”. It’s pretty obvious to both of them that he won’t make it, but you never have to lose hope, right?

That’s why he decided to trust Jeno for the last time and acoompain him in some random mission.

“Guardian I’m here.” He told the girl he was looking after.

To call her guardian was something usual between them. She was the other person he always had to guard since he offered to help her as his first job.

However, just watching a box for day after day in the inside of a cave was not the best of the plans. Eventually, he had no other option but to get used to it.

It was Pandora’s box. It could be very dangerous if it were opened.

“Hi angel.” She greeted back, smiling a little.

“Jeno has asked me for a favour, so I’ll have to help him in his last adventure before finally retiring.”

“Again?” She pouted.

“Let’s give him one last chance, he might get it right.” He defended the boy that ended up becoming his friend. “I don’t think it’ll take me more than a few months, don’t worry. I will send a person I trust with you to make you company so you won’t be lonely!” He cheered.

“Don’t even think about it!” She snapped. “This is a boring job already, I don’t want to make it tedious to anybody else. I’ll be fine by myself.”

He nodded, not very convinced. Still, he gave her space.

When he came back, he wishes he hadn’t.

“What do you mean Pandora’s box has been opened!” He shouts to his mermaid friend. “Haechan what the hell, how?“

“I don’t know! Rumour has it that she fell in love with “Asbolo’s descendant” also known as our Mark, our friend, and that they are now exiled forever.” The mermaid nicknamed Haechan explained tiredly. “Everything has been a mess ever since, nobody is safe on the surface, nor under the sea.”

Renjun massages his temples and takes a seat, immersing his feet in the water.

“I can’t believe this, I haven’t left for so long, I even had the god’s consent to do so, for the first time! And this is what I find when I come back!” He complains.

He feels shocked due to the sudden events, angry because how could they even fall in love? But also sad because he might never see them again and he couldn’t even say goodbye.

“You should talk to Hermes Renjun.” Donghyuk advises. “I’m sure you would be very appreciated as an angel.”

He’s tired after so much walking and fighting by Jeno’s side to end up giving up, but if even the biggest prankster in his group of friends is worried, he knows he has to do something.

***

"Renjun this is horrible." Hermes tells the young boy. "How are we going to fix this?"

"I'm afraid I don't know the answer, sir." Renjun answers lowering his head.

The god sighs.

"It's not your fault, boy." He pats Renjun's head friendly, in a very infrequent act. "Somebody wanted to hurt us, and they ended up doing it, I still don't know how."

"Is there anything I can do to help, sir?" Renjun asks.

"Just, try to guard small creatures that don't belong here until we figure how to get them back into the box." Hermes  massages his temples once again and looks through a small window inside of his sanctuary on the Olimpus. "Do you see that, kid?"

"That's the human world isn't it?"

'It is, they are desperate now. Illnesses, worries, disgraces, all of that is taking over them. I've never been a huge fan of humans, but we're here to save them. We have to do something." The god explains solemnly. Renjun nods sadly, it's the first time he has seen such an important person being as defeated.

"Do what you're ordered to and help us to save us, okay? Remember to warn us if you ever see a creature from the underworld.”

"I will, sir." Renjun takes a bow and uses his wings to go back to that small cave where the box was before being waken away to the Olimpus. HThat was his house.

For the following days, he does as ordered. Nothing very important things, but they have to be done.

He has walked the forest three times looking for something different than elfs and nymphs helping trees and plants to recover their vitality. Then he decides to take a seat.

"Hello friend." He turns around to see his friend Chenle.

"Hi Chenle." He tries to sound cheerful, but he's exhausted.

"You sound tired, angels have been working a lot lately, right?"

"Yes, we have a lot of work to do. All of you too I see, this is getting our of hand."

Chenle nods sleepily.

"I have to go, I was on my way to meet Jisung. I want to check up on him, he must be exhausted." Renjun finally smiles widely at the thought of their friend, the Fenix.

Renjun nods.

"Well, good luck to both of you."

"Right back at you, friend." And the elf leaves.

He then stands up, and let his body chose the direction he will take this time. By instinct, he ends up going to the small cliff beside the giant forest where he usually meets Haechan. He feels his eyes slowly closing since the only thing you can listen to is the swell, he thinks he might fall asleep at any moment. His eyes are almost closed when he sees it.

It's not the sunniest day, but he still can distinguish a black shadow walking around the almost green field. He opens his eyes wide and tries to focus on whatever that is, freezing when he figures it out.

"Mormo." He whispers.

You turned around as if you had heard the boy. With your great sense of hearing you could have. When your eyes meet the angel's you don't know if you should run away or face him. Apparently, he takes the decision before you do.

He approaches slowly, as if you were going to run away. You consider the option for a few seconds before he catches your wrist.

"What are you doing, stupid! Let go of my hand!" You exclaim. Your wrist burns due to the contrast.

Angels can't touch demons while they are what they are.

"This hurts me too! But you don't belong here and I have to take you somewhere else!" He keeps holding your wrist and you keep pushing back.

You were just trying to figure out where to go ever since you've been pulled out of your goddess side, why would he dare to bother you?

Both of you keep it going for a few seconds until the contact is insufferable, then he lets go.

"Finally! It burns a lot, thank you dude!" You shout sarcastically.

"You don't understand I do this to help you, right?"

"I don't even know what you're doing, how am I supposed to know?" You snap.

The angel sighs.

"You don't belong here, I have to take you to Hermes so he can assign you somebody to help you go back to the underworld." He explains shortly.

You laugh out loud, making fun of the boy.

"Me? With Hermes? Can't you just, I don't know, send him one of those pigeons you use here? I can't go to the Olympus, I'd rather go back by myself. I don't need no help."

"But you can't." He blunts without thinking. That cuts you as if it was a knife.

"I-I can! I'm Mormo's descendants! I know where I live!"

"You sure about that? Because I'm sure you've been here for days."

"That's not true! I can go back whenever I want!" You were, in fact, lying. He raises an eyebrow. "Fine, I've been here for days and I'm starving, but I can't eat anything from here! The only thing that kept me alive was this mermaid that would sometimes talk to me. Now I know why I don't belong here."

Renjun is about to laugh at the sudden outburst, but decides to keep quiet for his own well-being.

"I'll contact "my god" by "one of those pigeons" and tell him the situation. He will assign you someone to help you, I'm sure." He tries to calm you down.

"Can't you just do it yourself?"

"I've been at some missions in a lot of different places, but I've never been in the underworld so I'm afraid my lack of experience might damage us."

You try not to make fun of him since, even if you hate angels and every related to whatever that is not the underworld, he might help you lately, that's why you want him to "help" you -because you need no help actually-. You want to punch him in the face as much as other stupid guardian angels, but you decide to save it.

To both of your surprise, Renjun is the chosen one to bring you to your goddess side in the underworld.

“My dear Renjun,

I understand you are worried, but right now you’re the only one who can bring Mormo to the underworld. Just remember not to get in and not to involve yourself too much with infernal creatures. I officially declare you as Mormo’s guardian angel.

Hermes.” 

You scoff and feel the need to throw the paper away from anger. You don’t need anyone’s help to go back to your house! Why would you need a guardian angel knowing that you can’t even be around him?

It’s obvious that your world collide.

However, when you look at Renjun’s direction and find him shaking, with his whole face coloured in red out of anger, you keep it to yourself once again. There will be time for reproaches on your way to your home.

“Well, pretty boy, you’re stuck with me.” You say, making fun of him. “Come on, I promise I’ll be good, just like in the Olimpus.”

Renjun scoffs and begins to walk angrily to somewhere and you have no option but to follow him.

“Where do you take me? I have to follow you from now on, remember?”

“Just shut up, please, I’m trying to do my job.” He expects to finally get the respect he deserves, but you just laugh out loud. If you don’t feel like getting angry, who told you you can’t have fun at least? So, watching carefully everything he does, you follow him.

“Jisung please open the door! I need your help!” He shouts.

“Renjun! I’m a bit busy right now, can you please tell me what’s wrong?” The Fenix tells him.

“I need you to tell me how to get to the underworld.”

“What? Why would you-?”

“I’ll explain you someday, just tell me please.“

He hears Jisung’s sigh through the door and how you laugh even if you cover it with your hand.

“So you really don't know? Okay, there are a lot of ways to get there, the easiest would be to go to the river Acheron, in Greece, it's the most direct way even though it's far away from here." Jisung explains shortly.

Just what Renjun was thinking before talking to his friend. He doesn't know the exact way to the river, but he has a light idea from all the adventures he has lived with Jeno.

"Thank you friend. I promise I'll explain, okay?"

"Fine! But remember to stay safe, okay? It's a very dangerous trip and we don't have a good feeling about it."

"We?"

"N-nevermind. Just stay safe!"

He says goodbye to his friend a bit puzzled of his reaction and promises him that he will take care. Then, he proceeds to take the shortest way to the following town.

Then, the first consequence from the Pandora's box begins.

***

"When are we going to stop?" You complain for the fifth time.

"Do you really want to get to the underworld with Hecate? Then keep going."

"Ops, the angel is angry."

He feels his head about to explode. Not only he has to deal with the consequences of Pandora's box being opened because he hadn't been looking after the guardian when he had to, but also he has to stand you all the way to the underworld, a place he never thought he would visit.

"I want to ask you something." You try to make some small talk.

"Sure, ask." Renjun takes this as a way to have a more mature conversation with you.

"Are all of you always as stressed?" He was wrong, as always.

"Are all of you as careless?"

"Touche, friend."

"I'm not your friend."

"Don't worry, it's just a saying, I don't want to consider you my friend." You add, cheerfully. He rolls his eyes and decides to ignore you for the rest of the afternoon -and beyond-.

It's more than obvious that an angel and a demon can't get along.

The following day not much has changed. You looked for a place to sleep -a shelter, nothing very expensive- and then you continued your adventure. At first, it was silent and you didn’t even bother to look at him. You couldn’t care less.

“How far is the river from here?”

“Well, as you know the underworld shouldn’t be found easily, because it would be a mess for humans, so I would say we’re still far away.”

“That sounds tiring.” He sighs, agreeing with you for the first time.

“And where is the entrance?” You ask again.

“We still have a few miles to go through.” He gives you a dry answer.

“I still wonder how I ended up like this. Why did I have to leave my goddess’ side?” You look at him from the corner of your eye, but he still has nothing to add. “You know what, I’m obviously being bothersome, just tell me where to go and I’ll do it.”

“By yourself? A demon? No. I’m not letting you alone in the human’s world, which is very screwed right now, they don’t need a demon walking around.

You feel your ears getting red. It’s more than obvious that he doesn’t know who your ancestor is and what they did. You were a demon, yes, but not a bad one, and you weren’t going to be humiliated.

“If you don’t know who Mormo really was, then don’t talk to me like that. It’s obvious that you don’t want to be here, and I don’t want your company.” Slowly, without realising it, you were raising your voice.

“All I know is that I’m stuck with you when I could help more angels and my friends, and I still don’t know why I have to be your guardian. I’m an angel and you’re a demon! It’s completely contradictory!”

“It is! But it’s not my fault!”

“It isn’t mine either!”

“Then don’t pay it back with me!”

You can feel smoke getting out of your ears, as if you were a train. Who does he think he is? You keep walking forward, but at a faster rate so you could lose him. Until you see a crossroad, and don’t know where to go. You turn back, but the angel is nowhere to be seen, you may have walked faster than what you really wanted. But then, when you turn back to the front, he is right in front of you, looking at you with a raised eyebrow.

“Turn to the right, we’ll take that road, it’s shorter.” And he passes right through you.

He knows that he has part of the blame of the situation both of you are in, but he is not willing to admit it and apologise. All he wants to do is get to the river as soon as possible and then forget all of this happen once the box is finally closed and everyone is back to the place they belong. 

You, on the other hand, don’t want to trust the boy in front of you, but you know that you have no option. How are you going to get back if you don’t know where you are? It would take you ages, you know that. So, in a certain way, you’re glad he hasn’t left you completely on your own, even if you can’t stand him.

“We’re approaching the next village, we can take a break there and ask for a shortcut. The entrance we want to take is only two towns after this one, but they are very separated one from the other, so we still have a long way to go.” He explains after what feels like hours without talking.

“The portal isn’t far from the river Archeron. We won’t have to walk as much. We could take a bus or something, but you, unlike me, can’t hide your appearance, so we’ll just walk at night.”

“You seem to go a lot on adventures.”

He shakes his head and sighs.

“I only go out because of Jeno, if it wasn’t for him I wouldn’t know half of the human’s world.” You smile a little when his face lights up as he mentions Jeno. He may seem like he’s reproaching him, but, in fact, he doesn’t mean it.

You nod, not knowing what to say. Then, both of you become silent and don’t think you have something to add to keep the conversation going. The mood, that was once a little angry, has become awkward.

Your destination is a little further than what you expected, so when you finally stopped to rest on a little bench on the street, you were beyond thankful. It was funny how you had never realised, but now that you look closely, you see how every creature that passed in front of you, would look at you as if you were crazy. A little group of nymphs are looking at you and sharing their opinions to each other, whispering. As if you couldn’t hear.

“Any problem, ladies?” You put your most terrific expression and they run in fear.

“What’s wrong with you?” Renjun asks, angry -once again-. “I’m sorry!” He shouts to them. But they’re too far to listen to him.

“They were talking about my appearance.” You say, expressionless. “I couldn’t care less, but it’s not something nice to do, right in front of me, as if being different was a crime.”

Renjun is speechless.

“I-I’m sorry, I didn’t rea-lise.“ It’s the first time he feels as bad. He’s judged you way too soon. You just laugh ironically and shrug.

“No problem, It’s not like I’m used to, but I’m just teaching valuable lessons.” He feels surprised. He would have never imagined you saying those words.

“I’m sorry about earlier too. Both of us are affected by Pandora’s box, I shouldn’t have behaved like that.”

“Did I hear correctly?” You pretend to be shocked and he rolls his eyes. “Well, an angel apologizing first, I guess it was going to be obvious.”

“What do you-”

“I’m sorry too, I may be a demon, Mormoitself wasn’t the nicest one, but they weren’t mean and neither am I, y/n. Actually, I really like children, I don’t even eat the bad ones, I just scare the shit out of them so they won’t misbehave anytime soon.“ You explain. “I guess I just let myself go and lost my essence, so I have to apologize for that too.”

He is, once again, astonished. It’s the first time you say your name.

“Well, let’s get along from now on and get to know each other better, okay?’“

“Deal.” You answer, even if the boy doesn’t seem as a creature you would befriend.

***

As time goes by you know you’re getting closer to the underworld and you find yourself being more and more cheerful. It’s not as if you were always as happy, you were usually more on the sarcastic side, but these last few days have been a mess and now that they are coming to an end you just feel happy.

Your relationship with Renjun has improved a little since you talked that night a week ago and it feels good to get to know him and what he does, taking into consideration that you had never expected to get involved with an angel in any of the cases. He turned out to be funnier and cuter that what you expected, and it was even scary to think that about him.

“Finally! We’re here!”

“The portal?” You ask-shout in excitement.

“Yes, it’s here! Now we will have to walk for a few more days and we’ll arive.“

“Will you get in the boat with Charon with me?”

“Are you asking me if I want to die?”

“You won’t die if you’re with me!” 

“I know, but I’ve heard that that dude is creepy. Besides, angels can’t go into the underworld or else we’ll die, remember?” You laugh.

“You all are weak.” He gives you a friendly blow that ends up hurting both of you.

The human’s world turns out to be different that you expected. Maybe it’s because it’s at night and there’s nobody to be seen. You decide not to get any public transport, because you might scare a lot of people, and only continue walking at night.

Still, to be watched is only a matter of time.

“Who are you?” That small voice surprises both of you and your faces drop. A little boy is looking at you as if you were normal there.

“Leave this to me.” You whisper Renjun. “What are you doing here little one?”

The kid shrugs.

“I lost my parents today and I can’t find them.“

“Have you been a bad boy?” You expression begins to change and Renjun is about to jump in front of the kid to protect him

“No, I didn’t want to leave their side.” The kid pout and you get on your knees to talk to him.

While you’re trying it, Renjun just stares closely at you. You are not a bad creature, how could you be it when you’re helping a kid you know nothing about to get back to his house. It feels bad now that he thinks about how he has misjudged you, just like a lot of people out of the underworld have. His heart beats faster and his cheeks get red.

You hear it thanks to your great sense of hearing and look at him for a second. When your eyes meet his and you both smile at the same time, you know everything is about to get harder.

You make the kid fall asleep and take him to a bench.

“That’s the best I can do for him. Luckily a nice human will find him and bring him to his house.” You say, and you and Renjun go on with your adventure.

***

It’s even more awkward now that Renjun’s mind only thinks of you and that you listen to his heart beating faster. The days pass slowly and night are boring because you don’t know what to talk about.

“Are you worried about something?” You ask him one of those times.

“Not much, why?”

“Oh nothing, I just listen to your heart beating faster sometimes and I get scared.”

“Y-you can listen to it?”

“Only when it beats fast. I have it for when I hunt.”

“O-oh, okay.” You laugh at him and he sight defeated.

“You know what? I’ll miss you when I’m back in the underworld.”

Renjun thinks about what will happen once you follow your own ways and sadness hits him.

“I’ll miss you too, you are the only friend I can go to.” You want to tease him about the friend part, but since he seems so sad, you don’t do it

“What’s wrong with the rest of your friends?”

“They are either busy fixing what happened with Pandora’s box, just like me, nowhere to be seen, like Jeno, or exiled, like my guardian and Mark.”

“You’re friends with Pandora’s box guardian?” You ask, amused.

“Yes, I was her guardian angel and she was my best friend.” He explains shortly. The way he called her “my guardian” makes you think that they were much closer, and that annoys you for some reason.

“I hope she’s doing fine and that you can reunite with her anytime soon.” You say, even if you don’t mean it.

“She’s with her boyfriend -our friend-. I’m sure she is.” The angel smiles sweetly at the thought of both of his friends dating just by chance.

You let go all the air you were holding in when he said she already was dating someone. Suddenly, the thought of dating Renjun popped into your mind. Why were you thinking about that if it was completely impossible to date him and you feel nothing for him?

It’s the first time you’ve felt fear.

Maybe because he’s way much different that you’re used to?

You shake your head, what are you even thinking?

“Are you okay? You need a break?” He asks, worried out of nowhere. You decide to take a seat and wait for some fresh air to clear your head.

“I think I haven’t slept well today.”

However, the more you deny it, the more it doesn’t leave your mind. Night after night whenever you make some small talk, you surprise yourself thinking how well you complete eachother and how much you have in common.

It’s more that obvious that you love him, even if it’s just a little, but you’re way too busy denying it.

Renjun, on the other side, has accepted it at this point. And he can’t hide it since he’s not very good at concealing his feelings.

So, with a permanent blush on your cheeks, you make your last night walking to the river, which, unluckily to both of you, is closer than what you had expected it to be. 

***

When you’re right in front of it, he hugs you, tightly. You hug him back. It is easy to fall in love in the god’s world, it only took you a bit longer that a month to do so. But it’s forbidden.

It burns. Your arms, your chest, everything that is in contact with his skin burns, but you had to do it. This feels even more intimate and truth than a kiss.

“I’ll never forget you.” You hear his sweet angel voice in your ear. “Just so you know, I love you.”

“Don’t forget me, Renjun, I won’t forgive you if you do.“ When you break the hug because you have to go, you don’t even feel your arms, they’re literally burnt because of the contradiction you and Renjun are. It leaves you soulless, as if you could stand more pain only because now you don’t feel nothing at all.

But what hurts the most is that you never said it back, because of your insecurity.

“Y/n.” You hear Hecate, your goddess, shouting your name.

“Yes, my goddess.”

“You’re finally back, my loyalest demon, my Mormo, has it been hard?” She wanted to give you a tight hug, but she doesn’t when she sees your arms are burning.

“Hermes told me about the angel, did he do something?” She asks, furious.

“I feelll for him.” You whisper as an answer. “I love him.”

Hecate seems scandalized.

“What do you mean you love him?” She seems very angry, and it’s not nice to have the goddess of the underworld against you. “Did you betray me?”

You promised to stay by her side forever. Your forever has come to an end.

“I did, miss. I fell in love with someone I shouldn’t have.” The goddess doesn’t think about it about it twice.

She raises her arm.

And then you feel nothing.

You’ve just become dust.

By the time Renjun arrived to the Olimpus, he had heard what happened to you. He was beyond devasted. His loved one was no longer here, nor there, nor anywhere. It was the first time he felt like crying. His best friend, the responsible for the mess that was happening in the world has been exiled, he couldn’t even say goodbye to her. His other friend Mark was with her, and they weren’t going to come back. Jeno, his most beloved friend, apparently had given up, only the gods know where he is now.

All he had left was the hope to see you sometime again.

But you weren’t there.

He didn’t feel Hermes curing his burns, he wasn’t Renjun anymore.

“I’ve betrayed you.” He then confessed.

“I know.” The god said.

“I don’t deserve my wings.”

“I know.” The god said once again. He then proceeded to take them off, being the saddest he had ever been.

One of his best angels, the one that would become the forever known guardian angel, has been killed on the inside due to the cruelness of Pandora’s box, the cause of all of this.

Renjun smiled, looking at the person who had been his teacher. He might not have been the best around the gods, but he did know how to take care of his students. Hermes smiled back, knowing what Renjun was thinking.

And with a last “thank you, shine brightly from now on” he said goodbye to  Renjun, who became a constellation in the sky. The one that will always be remembered due to the tragic love story behind it.

Because that’s what happens when the angel’s world and the demon’s world collide.

[buriedinbleach]

Second Chances - Ch. 2

For the record, I didn’t plan on this chapter being so long. I just got carried away. Hope I didn’t ramble too much!

Also, I promise your smut fix will be in the next chapter.

Chapter one

Fight Me, Damn It! (Its a Date)

It was almost a week before you saw Kensei again. Though that didn’t mean you were just slouching around in the meantime. You had work to do.

For the first few days after he had agreed to help, you excitedly watch the shop door with anxious anticipation every time the small bell on the shop door rings. But with each hour that passes you grow slightly more disappointed - and infinitely more pissed off when neither Kensei or Shinji appear.

On day three, you finally snap out of your funk, in utter disbelief you had allowed it to go on for as long as you had. What the hell was happening? You weren’t the type to sit idly by, simply waiting on a man to come and provide you attention. With a determined look on your face you think, ‘I was doing just fine on my own before that brooding, bulky, gorgeous-’ you nearly jump out of your skin when Kisuke’s playful tone interrupts your thoughts.

“What’s gotten you all fired up? Not that I’m complaining. You do look adorable when you’re angry - especially when its not at me.” You might not have been able to see his wide grin behind that damn fan he always carried, but it was obvious from the glint of satisfaction in his eyes.

“Fuck! Damn it Kisuke, stop sneaking up on me!” You clutch your chest, shooting him an icy glare. “And how do you know I’m not angry at you?” Kisuke simply shrugs, a knowing - smug - smile teases the corners of his mouth. As always, his sharp observant eyes see far more than he’ll ever admit.

You draw a deep breath before continuing. “I take it this means you’re ready to train? Finally.”

Shinji walks down the back hallway, pausing to lean in the doorway opposite Kisuke. “Actually doll, I’m gunna be helpin’ ya today.” He grins - a big toothy smile. For a fraction of a second you can’t help but let your eyes wander down the hallway past him, hoping Kensei was with him. Quickly, you shake your head to banish the thought before focusing your attention back on Shinji, staring at him with a predatory smile.

“Perfect. I was getting tired of losing.”

“I got news, kid. If ya think I’m just gunna lie back and let cha take me,” he pauses, cocking an eyebrow while eyeing you suggestively. The smug satisfaction and pride in his sly innuendo practically radiates from him like a shockwave until you’re hit dead on by the blast and left staring back - wholly unimpressed.

Even your best attempt ‘I will kill you’ glare couldn’t wipe the smile from his face. So you tried the next best thing - an outright threat, lowering your voice darkly. “Finish that thought Shinji, and I’ll finish you.”

“That a promise, doll?”

It was hard to be mad, you had walked right into that one.

With your thoughts so focused on Kensei, you hadn’t been able to strike back with your usual playful, stinging jabs at Shinji’s expense. Enough was enough. With a disgusted groan you pushed down the hallway, past Kisuke - giving Shinji a little extra shoulder check for good measure - and headed downstairs. One way or another you were going to get back on track. Whether or not that track included Kensei Muguruma wasn’t something you particularly wanted to think about right now.

***

Shinji is a much tougher opponent than you anticipated. Unfortunately.

By your third day of training with him, you couldn’t begin to count how many times you’d eaten dirt because of that skinny jerk. Each day, you were left exhausted, sweaty, and sporting a few new bruises. But it was all worthwhile to leave Shinji with a few new bruises of his own, getting back at him for every last one of his teasing comments. Not that it stopped him from making more.

Shinji was unsure of how long he had been fighting you off, but it was certainly long enough that your fatigue was becoming more evident, yet you never called it quits. He knew you were either extremely determined to improve, or slightly crazy - maybe a little of both. Shinji blocked a swing aimed straight at his face, noting the focused concentration in your eyes and decided it was probably both. He couldn’t help but be impressed.

‘Hell, if Kensei’s decides to keep his distance then maybe-’

Another swift lunge from you quickly refocuses his attention. Your chest was heaving with exertion, sorely in need of a break, but refusing to quit. Clearly he still couldn’t underestimate you - exhausted or not. Shinji grabs your wrist tightly, jerking you closer in an effort to control your movements.

“Finished yet?” He smiles. That damn aggravating wholly Shinji-esque grin of his was half the reason you kept fighting in the first place - he just didn’t realize it.

Your brow furrows with concentration as you shoot him a sharp glare. Opening your mouth to speak, you’re both left stunned when a much deeper voice comes out of nowhere, echoing through the room. “The smart answer would be yes. You’re too exhausted to do yourself much good right now. You’ll just end up with an injury.”

The heat immediately begins rising in your face the second you hear him, it spreads like wildfire over your body. Your eyes quickly dart up to find Kensei, staring down while you struggle to free your arm from Shinji’s unyielding grasp. He didn’t budge an inch, he simply stared back at you, his signature smile growing wider with every passing second.

“I’m not-” Shinji sweeps your legs out from under you mid-sentence, sending you sprawling onto your back with a harsh, hollow thunk. “Fine. I’m done for today.” You close your eyes for a moment, taking a deep breath and stand to find Kensei and Shinji staring.

“Ah, don’t be too hard on her. The kids actually not half bad.” Shinji shrugs. You wanted to roll your eyes at his attempted half-compliment.

“I don’t see you lining up to help, muscles.” You grumble, dusting off your pants in an effort to avoid looking into those serious, studious brown eyes. Kensei watches your hands smooth over your hips - zeroing in as they accentuate your butt - in long sweeping gestures. His eyes linger over every curve your fingers trace, completely fixated before finally snapping out of his trance.

His gaze meets yours before he opens his mouth to speak again, noting the ferocity in your eyes. They sparkled with life, trapping him. Kensei couldn’t look away. “You need more conditioning before I’ll fight you. You’d just end up getting hurt.”

Your mouth begins moving before your brain has time to process the words, “Oh really? You seem to think pretty highly of yourself, tough guy. Fine. Do your worst.”

The slight cringe that briefly flashes across Shinji’s face should have been your first clue that you had made a huge mistake. The corner of Kensei’s mouth twitching into something like a smirk should have been your second. He looks positively mischievous. Instead, you were too busy trying to feign disinterest while sneaking glances at Kensei’s bulging biceps as he crossed his arms across his broad chest.

Kensei couldn’t keep his amusement hidden when it finally reached his eyes. For the past week he had done everything possible to keep his mind off of you. Running, lifting weights, cooking, even forcing himself to listen to Shinji and Hiyori’s constant fights - nothing worked. That gorgeous smile, your playful voice, images of you fighting with Yoruichi - your face glowing with the effort of all your hard work. ‘What I wouldn’t give to see that glow after-’

He quickly shook his head, burying that particular train of thought. This is not the right time. “I’ll come by tomorrow morning at 6. Shinji, we should get going.”

“I’m supposed to work for Kisuke tomorrow. I can’t just drop what I’m doing.”

There was that feisty attitude again. Shinji stands by, casually leaning on a nearby boulder while trading glances between the two of you. He couldn’t wait to see Kensei’s reaction. It wasn’t every day he came across anyone who had the nerve to talk back to someone with Kensei’s temper. Yet, he couldn’t feel even the slightest hint of rage radiating from his spiritual pressure.

He shook his head, ‘Man, he’s got it bad already.’

“Ah, we can handle things around here without you, ___-chan. Don’t let me get in your way.” Kisuke calls breaking the silence. He looks down at the three of you from under the shadowy brim of his wide hat, perched on a boulder as if he’d been there the whole time.

Your shriek of surprise immediately draws three sets of eyes back to you. “Damn it, Kisuke! Stop doing that!”

***

You quickly found out that there seemed to be no end to Kensei’s energy - or his ability and seeming desire to torture you. You could have come up with about half a dozen - very good - ways to discover that his stamina knew no bounds, but none of them involved these kinds of conditioning sessions.

Each morning without fail Kensei waited outside your apartment for you to appear, bright and early. Arms folded across his chest, an adorable scowl knit across his brow, he stared off into the distance with determined focus. The minute Kensei heard your door shut, his head would snap back in your direction to watch your approach. Somehow he always managed to look relieved as soon as he caught the first glimpse of you and yet, plagued with doubt and indecision all at once. Just as quickly as it would appear, it was gone again and Kensei went back to grumbling at you to begin.

“So, how are you planning on-” yawn “trying to kill me today?” You lift your arms above your head in a long stretch, letting your eyes reflexively close. Kensei’s eyes follow the slow reveal of your stomach as your shirt lifts ever so slightly before forcing himself to look away.

“A 5k run outta wake you up. After that, we’ll head to the gym. C’mon.” Kensei doesn’t bother waiting for your grumbling protests before he begins jogging away. You reluctantly follow, trudging off at a slow pace. Well, if you have to endure this agony, at least you could stare at his ass while he runs in front of you.

As if he could read your self-satisfaction, Kensei turns around to look at you. “The hell are you doing back there? Hurry up, you should be trying to beat your best time!”

You groan, making a show of dramatically rolling your eyes before sprinting up ahead of him, mumbling complaints. Kensei always easily kept pace with you during your runs, always trailing about a foot behind. Far enough to give you space, yet close enough to silence your protests almost before you made them. Though his words were almost always chastising, he almost sounds… amused? As much as you hate the grueling pace he sets, you begin to complain just to draw him into conversation, in hopes of catching that hint of a smile on his lips when you glance back.

Kensei learned the real advantage to his position - trailing behind you - early on. Eyes hidden, he’s given a completely unobstructed view of your body as you run. He could take his time lingering over every line, memorizing the shape of each curve. No matter how tired you are, your eyes always sparkle with life when you look back at him, you were always smiling - even when you tried your best to look annoyed.

‘Gods, she’s gorgeous. No, shit. Don’t get attached.’

Finally, your apartment was within sight again, just around the corner from Kisuke’s shop. You slow to a jog before stopping in the front yard. Winded, you bend forward to brace your hands on your knees, breathing deeply, feeling like you’re about to drop - you really want to. You eye the soft grass at your feet. It beckons to you, cool and inviting, as soft as a cloud.

Glancing up, you see Kensei breathing easily with a look of genuine confusion as to how you could be so damn tired already. His chest glistens with a hint of sweat under his shirt, but he’s otherwise unphased. Damn him. If you weren’t concerned about the spots developing in your vision you might take a moment to stare. Instead, you look back at the grass again, carefully reconsidering your plan for cool relief - that would only be admitting how tired you really are.

“You’re… a fucking… sadist.” You whisper in between panting breaths, glaring. Kensei simply smirks, huffing out a quick laugh as he watches you stand, straightening to your full height.

“Hurry up, we gotta get to the gym.” Kensei takes a step, ready to turn away when your choked grunt stops him in his tracks. He watches you double over, clutching your waist with a grimace.

Forgetting himself, his care and concern temporarily outweighs his desire to keep his distance. He crouches down next to you, voice strained with concern. “What’s wrong?”

“Cramp.” Another choked grunt, more panting for air. “I’ll be fine.” You try waving him off and force a smile, but the look on your face comes across far more troubling that you had intended.

Kensei’s movements and voice are forceful, all business. “No you’re not. Get your arms up.” He pulls you up by your shoulders to stand and grips your hips, turning your body to face him. The weak protests you attempt to sputter out fall on deaf ears.

Kensei slides his hands up your body, brushing over your skin, leaving a trail of goosebumps in his wake. He quickly catches your arms and holds them above your head. You’re suddenly hyper-aware of his searing touch on your wrists, the proximity of his body to yours - inches away. So close you can feel the heat radiating from him, smell the airy hint of sweat on his lightly tanned skin. His own deep, even breaths remind you to breathe.

You both stand frozen, trapped in one another’s gaze. Faces growing hot, but unable - unwilling - to move for what seems like an eternity.

Finally, Kensei gently releases you, hesitantly taking a step back - just one. “We should probably call it quits for the day.”

“Right. I’ll see you tomorrow morning.” You nod.

”Oh, uh no.” You fight to keep the disappointment you feel from showing on your face. You had gotten used to your morning routines together, even if it was torture you would endure it if it meant spending time together. “I’ll come by when you’re done with work or whatever Kisuke finds for you to do. I’ll spar with you… if you want.”

Your broad smile says more than your words could, trapping Kensei’s gaze as you nod. “Am I finally conditioned enough, sensei?”

Truthfully, Kensei had deemed you sufficiently conditioned to spar with him a week ago. He kept up the pretense of workouts to get more time alone with you, not that he would have admitted that to anyone - even himself. “Just be ready to work hard. I’m not going easy on you.” His grumbles and attempt at a warning only make you smile wider.

You both share an unspoken thought as your eyes meet briefly before you part ways outside your apartment. The time you spend together, no matter how battered and exhausted you were by the end of it, no matter how many sassy quips you throw at him, was the best part of both your days.

***

Kensei wasn’t lying. He had no intention of going easy on you during training. After one week sparring with him, he had put you in the dirt almost more than Kisuke and Yoruichi combined. But without fail, you got back up every time, coming at him with everything you had. Even landing more than a few exceptionally targeted blows, much to his surprise.

Although, that was partly due to the constant coaching you received from the sidelines. Like clockwork, someone always managed to be around and available to give you pointers each afternoon that Kensei stopped by. Yoruichi, Kisuke, Shinji, Ichigo - hell, even Jinta made his way downstairs. Though he spent decidedly more time yelling at Kensei or trying to attack Shinji than doing anything legitimately helpful. Kensei gritted his teeth through it all, his frustration growing, wishing he could get even a few minutes alone with you again. His slim patience for the supportive onlookers and their constant appearance had run out along time ago.

Kensei walks into the shop that afternoon, training bag slung over one shoulder, looking even more agitated and annoyed than usual. But he immediately notices the stark silence that surrounds him. No Tessai, no Yoruichi, and no Kisuke - though he did have a knack for randomly popping up when you least expected. Even you were nowhere to be seen. He tightens his grip on the handle of his bag in frustration before marching off downstairs.

You were alone. For the first time in over a week there wasn’t another soul in sight. Oblivious to his presence, you turn your back to him, leaning down and-

Kensei froze momentarily, watching you stretch before forcing himself to keep walking. ‘She just had to be stretching. Flashing her amazing ass,’ he threw his bag down with a loud thud, making you jump. Kensei scowls, concentrating entirely too hard on rifling through his bag.

“Oh, hey.” You give him a slight wave and walk over in his direction, but Kensei’s eyes remain focused on his task - pointedly ignoring your greeting. You watch him continue to unpack his bag, your eyes narrowing in a frustrated stare as he takes out his gloves and pulls them on. “You don’t intimidate me you know.”

Kensei doesn’t miss a word, but he still refuses to look at you. He flexes his hands, testing the tension and fit of his gloves. “That’s because I’m not trying. You’d know if I wanted to intimidate you.” Finally, he turns towards you without a trace of a smile on his face. He takes a few steps in your direction until he stands inches away, and stares.

A smart person would have felt an icy chill running down their spine at the intensity of that glare. His biceps flex and relax with every fist he makes, even the slightest twitch of his fingers is marked by the bulging muscles. Those arms alone look like they could snap you like a twig without so much as breaking a sweat. Instead, the heat of his gaze pools straight to the pit of your stomach, like a cauldron bubbling, about to boil over at any second.

Kensei takes another step forward, secretly delighted with the hitched breath you draw, but his face remains just as stoic and observant as ever. His eyes travel down your face, settling on your lips. He loses himself briefly, studying the way you purse your lips before sighing quietly. Kensei’s fingers twitch at his side, aching to run his thumb over your soft bottom lip, to lean down and kiss you.

Shit. His attempt at teasing you had backfired horribly.

You take in a deep, shaky breath, afraid that your knees might give out any second while desperately clinging to your composure. “Still not intimidated.” Though you try your best given your current condition, your voice isn’t at all convincing. You’re left breathless and dizzy for all the right - or wrong - reasons.

Kensei smirks, “Still not trying. C’mon, let’s go.”

After nearly a solid hour of sparring, you were doing even better than usual. Kensei briefly wonders if the lack of an audience really helps your concentration that much before your leg comes flying at his head again. Close one, you nearly caught him that time. Kensei narrows his focus on you, smiling with confidence. Gritting your teeth, you try to concentrate - pushing that sexy grin out of your mind.  

‘I’ll give you something to smile about you grump.’

Lunging forward, you distract with one hand and strike with other. Or at least, that was the plan. Kensei was always one step ahead of you. He caught one wrist easily, before you have time to process what was happening, he’d traps the other in an iron grip. ‘Damn. Now I know why he was smiling.’

Kensei pushes you backwards, your feet drag uselessly against the ground in a desperate attempt to stop his momentum, to turn this to your advantage - somehow. But the gesture is futile. Kensei pins you against the closest boulder, crushing you between the rock and his body. You struggle in vain, kicking at his legs, wrenching your arms in an attempt to free your wrists trapped on either side of your head. Nothing worked.

Breathing heavily, your mind races to find a way out of this predicament without having to admit defeat. You weren’t about to give Kensei the satisfaction of knowing you’d been beaten - but he already knew. His smug smile said it all, he just needs to hear the words fall from your lips. Kensei’s smile begins to fade as his eyes travel down from yours to settle on your perfect mouth once more.

Realization strikes you both simultaneously. For the second time today you’ve forced yourselves together. Kensei’s large frame presses tightly against your body, his hips digging against yours. He’s acutely aware that your squirming attempts to free yourself have stopped, but he doesn’t back away. Not now.

His eyes flick over every inch of your face quickly like the fast, jerky movements of a hummingbird, judging your reactions, measuring your quick breaths. The heat from his body penetrates through your thin clothing, settling in your core. His scent fills your nostrils with every rapid, shallow breath you take - warm, earthy, with a hint of soap or cologne, but its nearly drowned out by sweat and musk. Its overwhelming - delicious - and making your thoughts hazy. You retain just enough awareness to feel his grip on your wrists relax.

Kensei’s eyes meet yours once more - searching. He leans in slowly, ready to back away at the slightest protest, but he hears none. Instead, your head lifts from the boulder to meet him as his warm lips touch yours. His kiss is gentle - caressing - each light brush of his lips sends a tingling rush down your spine; his slow, deliberate pecks morph slowly, becoming longer and deeper. He sucks on your bottom lip, begging entrance you happily grant with a long sigh.

He releases your wrists, one rough hand cups your cheek delicately; the other falling against your hip, his thumb brushes lightly - circling - over the bare skin of your hip underneath your shirt. Kensei’s tongue slides softly into your mouth, flicking over your teeth before finding your own, relishing in your taste. Finally, he pulls away to look at you, with one last soft touch of his lips on yours.

“Does this mean I can take you out now?” He smiles, looking into your dazed eyes. Sighing, you wiggle your fingers experimentally, only just realizing that your hands were free.

Wrapping your arms around his neck, you pull him close for another kiss, your lips ghost over his before breaking into a playful smile. “You better.”

A lithe black cat lay perches on top of a nearby rock, overlooking your sparring session. Her sharp, golden eyes studiously observed everything over the past hour. She stretches, a long - languid - arch before standing. Casting one last glance down she watches your fingers wind through Kensei’s hair as he presses forward, passionately claiming your mouth with kiss after kiss. Her eyes glint with a hint of amusement before she saunters off, slipping back upstairs - completely unnoticed.

[northshorehealthandfitness]

[caption id="attachment_64724" align="alignnone" width="620"] Photo: Twenty20[/caption] We’ve all been there: You’re at the end of a workout class when the instructor says you have another set of burpees to do. Your muscles and your mind want to scream “no” as soon as the words come out of her mouth. You can’t possibly push through another cardio set...except you can. And you should. Even some of the toughest trainers — ones who barrel through sprints and hoist heavy weights like they’re lighter than shaker bottles — play this mind game. And it all comes down to mental toughness and a few motivating mantras. So next time you’re up against a round of squat jumps or your last 50 meters of a 5K, channel these mental tricks from our top fitness pros. The only question you’ll have left to ask yourself: Can you handle the ego boost you’ll feel at the finish? RELATED: 19 Positive Affirmations That’ll Change the Way You Think

13 Mantras Top Trainers Use to Boost Their Mental Toughness

1. “How we do anything is how we do everything.”

“The way we practice is the way we perform, so in moments of fatigue it’s a great reminder that even now — especially now — I need to give my best. The mantra motivates me to give 100 percent even when I’m tired or don’t feel like it. And these are the moments that help form my habits and shape my mentality as an athlete.” —Milan Costich founder of PREVAIL boxing

2. “Do more than expected.”

“My main mental focus while training and pushing through my last rep always circles back to what was embedded in me as a professional athlete. The importance of finishing is something I’ve carried with me not just in training but in life. I constantly remind myself of what I’ve accomplished simply by doing a little more than expected. Holding myself to that standard doesn’t change with how I train myself. Chasing greatness in all things is a mentality for me... a way of life. What you achieve is dictated by how you respond when you’re being challenged the most.” —Curtis Williams, owner of Training C.A.M.P. and former NFL player RELATED: Meditation Meets HIIT in New Mindful Fitness Approach

3. “Think of how good you’ll feel.”

“Sometimes when I struggle with motivation, whether it's finishing a workout or even just getting to the gym in the first place, I try and tell myself, ‘Just think of how good you'll feel when you're done.’ Remembering the feeling of finishing a workout strong or pushing myself to do more than I thought I could always gets me through and keeps me coming back time and time again!” —Nora Minno, trainer on Daily Burn 365

4. “Let’s go!”

“Some days are just a struggle! But that doesn’t mean I give up; it means I have to get creative. The mind is the most creative and powerful muscle so I can either let the blues take over or I can shift my attitude and make it happen. My mantra ‘let’s go!’ is so simple but it really pumps me up. I also dance it out. I do just a little movement, side to side, shake out my hands and take a deep breath — all while repeating ‘let’s go!’” —Astrid Swan, celebrity trainer RELATED: 9 Ways to Find Workout Motivation (Every Damn Day)

5. “Gratitude and competition.”

“On days where I want to stop the workout, I’ll think about how grateful I am to have a strong, healthy body, and how lucky I am that I get to choose the gift of exercise. It’s not a punishment. On the other hand, I am very motivated by competition. So on days when I take class, I'll take a mental note of who I think is a better athlete than me, and he/she will be my mental competition. It makes me work harder and it also makes it more fun for me.” —Ashley Borden, celebrity trainer

6. “I’ve got this.”

“I repeat this passionately — and with conviction. I also take a moment before a truly challenging moment, set or interval, and visualize the experience as clearly and authentically as possible. For example, seeing myself perform each rep of a set and vividly imagining what it will feel like, especially the last couple reps. I see and feel the struggle and myself successful in overcoming it. I actually feel my nervous system start working. I think that feeling is so important. Then during the movement, I focus all attention and energy on the muscles working and imagining them bursting with power. I also make sure to be fully in it until the very last second — like, bar back in the rack — before shifting my focus.” —Gregg Cook, trainer on Daily Burn 365 RELATED: 7 Trainer Quotes That Will Instantly Boost Your Confidence [caption id="attachment_64700" align="alignnone" width="620"] Photo: Twenty20[/caption]

7. “Pain is only temporary.”

“With about 25 percent of my workouts dedicated to restoration, mobility and flexibility, the remaining 75 percent is all-out, like hill sprints, trail runs and kettlebell training. When I’m in these very challenging zones my mindset shifts to survival mood. And one thing that I always repeat in my mind is the pain I’m feeling right now won’t last forever. If I can hold on for just a few more seconds, I can reap the rewards. Pushing our bodies beyond what we thought we were capable of is simply one of the most satisfying things we can do in life.” —Nick Malizia, Master Trainer at Burn 60

8. “This is when change happens.”

“Change lies just on the other side of feeling uncomfortable. True change really begins when things get a little bit tough and you're able to work through that. [When you push] through a final 2 to 5 reps or 10 to 20 seconds past that uncomfortable point — keep in mind, during that time your body is adapting. However, it's also important to remember that if you begin to compromise your form, it is time to shut it down, reset, and then try again.” —Jason Walsh, owner and founder of Rise Nation RELATED: 19 Reasons to Work Out (Beyond the Perfect Body)

9. “You’re stronger than this.”

“I repeat this to myself when I need to power through something tough. And it works just as well outside the gym in all areas of life. Also, I focus on the sensation of my breath as it comes and goes. It centers me and helps direct my energy and power into the challenge at hand.” —Adam Rosante, celebrity trainer and strength and conditioning coach

10. “I can.”

“It only takes trying it a few times to realize how motivating mantras really are. It tricks your brain into believing something is true. Think: ‘I will not give up!’ ‘I can and I will!’ Or, ‘I am strong, I am powerful!’ Another strategy that works is to imagine you are performing, and all eyes are on you. Visualize those cheering fans across the finish line. I guarantee you will push harder, sweat more, and even perfect your form! And when in doubt, crank up that music. Fast heart-pumping tunes have been shown to bring workouts to the next level.” —Jessica Schatz, master Pilates instructor RELATED: The 25 Craziest Workout Excuses Trainers Have Ever Heard

11. “Are you a quitter?”

“I ask myself things that challenge my integrity towards my values. Things like, ‘What kind of man are you?’, ‘Are you a quitter?’ ‘Are you serious about what you set out to do?’ ‘Are you a mover and shaker or what?’ Those work for me, because I would never want to let myself down under those circumstances. My recommendation for everyone is to think about the things you value and tie them into the task in front of you. But it has to tie into your values.” —Prince Brathwaite, trainer on Daily Burn 365 and CEO and founder of Trooper Fitness

12. “Superhero.”

“I repeat mantras to myself when struggling with a workout or looking to push through it. I focus on single words and some of my go-tos include: ‘Strong. Capable. Badass. Superhero.’” —Emily Schromm, trainer and CrossFit coach RELATED: 275 Bodyweight Exercises to Shake Up Your Workout Routine

13. “Don’t quit on me.”

“My drive and commitment is the foundation to my overall success. Pushing the boundaries is something all too familiar and something I'm faced with every day. Some mental tricks I use to get through an extra tough workout including repeating, ‘Don’t quit on me,’ ‘Don’t cheat yourself; treat yourself,’ and ‘Work for it.’” —Corey Caillet, celebrity trainer on Revenge Body  Read More 4 Science-Backed Ways to Motivate Yourself to Work Out Get Sculpted Shoulders With These 5 Exercises Just Not Feeling It Today? 33 Sources of Workout Motivation

The post Push Through Any Workout with These Trainer Mantras appeared first on Life by Daily Burn.

via Fitness – Life by Daily Burn

[star-trekkin-across-theuniverse]

Human Resources, pt6

Word Count: 3909 Tags: @supermoonpanda @rayleyanns @sistasarah-sallysaidso @feelmyroarrrr @anyakinamidala @dirajunara @anotherotter @little-study-bug @rampant-salamander @goodnightwife @samaxraph99 @anotherotter  @outside-the-government @kingarthurscat @coyote-in-space @originalpottervengerlock

It goes without saying that weapons class was awkward. At least, it felt awkward to me. Coulson didn’t seem to have any problem shifting back to professional after my cafeteria outburst. I, on the other hand, was a mess. My palms would not stop sweating. My heart thumped so heavily in my chest that I thought you should be able to see it through my ribcage. And I felt sick. I could probably pass the nausea off on having finished the ridiculously enormous hamburger I’d had, but it was still there, and contributing to me being a jittery wreck while we were on the range.

I was furious with myself for reacting that way, as I’d always seen Coulson as a friendly colleague, and not a romantic interest. I mean, we’d always flirted when we bumped into one another, but it was office flirting. I’d never put any stock into it. And now, after a cold night on a rooftop drinking scotch, I was strangely smitten with him. Deep down inside, I knew all of that was untrue though, and I was only fooling myself. I shook my head, feeling incredibly sorry for Rick. He no longer stood a chance, and Coulson hadn’t even made a play yet.

I mentally shook the cobwebs off, and focused on the target at the other end of the range. Doing everything we’d gone over the previous class, I took my time, took aim, squeezed the trigger and exhaled. The glasses made a big difference, snapping the edge of the target into focus and allowing me to sight properly. I shot through my clip slowly, but rather than being dead last finishing, this time I finished somewhere in the middle of the group. I put my sidearm into the lockbox and waited for the green light to head downrange.

Unbelievably, all my shots had made it onto the target silhouette. They were still all over the place, wildly inaccurate, but they were all on the black outline, and that’s all I cared about. I choked back a squeal of excitement, and instead just grinned like an idiot at the target.

“Good improvement.” Coulson clapped me on the shoulder and moved to check another target. He stopped and gave some direction as I pulled my target down and put a fresh one up. He caught up as I made my way back to my stall.

“The glasses thing was a brilliant idea, Phil,” I admitted, pushing them up my nose. They still felt strange on my face, but I was amazed at how much I’d been missing by not being able to see.

“You’ve got better focus today too. You tested out of hand-to-hand. I was thinking we should use that time to work on this,” he suggested.

“That’s a great idea. So there are others who could benefit?” I asked, thinking he must be planning mini-class for remedial learners.

“No, just us. My attention won’t be divided in multiple directions then, and you should improve sooner with individualized training,” he explained. I tried not to blush or giggle or do something that would make me look like an idiot with a crush. I opted to nod and hold the gate open for him, as that seemed like really normal behaviour.

“Will SHIELD approve of a hot shot agent like you giving me private lessons?” I asked.

“The only time commitments I have while here are to this class. What I do on my free time is my own to decide. In short, SHIELD doesn’t get the opportunity to red stamp this. You need help, and as your friend, I am ensuring you get it,” he told me. I smiled.

“Well, thanks. I appreciate it,” I responded.

The academy cafeteria was a huge room, with a ridiculously high ceiling. It was three stories high, and along the wall where the kitchen was, a flight of stairs ran up to a landing and walkway, which in turn led to another flight of stairs, and another walkway. There were classrooms all the way along the walkways, and just the way it was built made it feel like the cafeteria had been an afterthought, and tacked on to the back of the building when SHIELD realized that students needed more than just classes to stay alive.

The wall opposite that was floor to ceiling windows. It afforded an unbelievable view of the campus. I was astonished by the size of the panes of glass that had been installed, and had spent part of each meal wondering exactly how they had been transported to the site. When that puzzle wasn’t taking up brain space, I liked looking outside, protected from the elements. It was still early spring, and while the grass was green, and the sky was blue, there was still a little bite in the air when the wind blew. It was nice when we were out on the track, but it wasn’t fun when you were just sitting. There was a large patio set up with tables and chairs outside, but so far no one had ventured to sit out there for anything other than lunch.

Kate and I met for dinner, and took what was becoming our usual spot near the windows. That table was situated in such a way that we both could see outside without the awkwardness of sitting side by side and trying to converse.

“I didn’t see you in weapons this afternoon,” I stated after we’d sat. “Were you at the other end of the range?”

“No, I tested out yesterday. My dad was a cop. I learned to shoot when I was in kindergarten,” she laughed. “I didn’t even have to finish the class yesterday, I just did to prove I was a team player.”

“I tested out of hand-to-hand today,” I admitted.

“Lucky you! I got stuck in one of the basic classes. The trainer told me that the next week that we are here, we will get more intensive study in our weak areas, and if we improve enough, Fury has decided we can test out of our final week,” she offered. I thumped my head against the table.

“An entire week of range and running?” I groaned.

“Did you look at tomorrow’s schedule? Half the day is fitness. Not running, fitness. And then the afternoon is hand-to-hand. Because I’ll have any energy left for that? I swear, they’re trying to turn us into actual field agents. It’s not like I need to run 5k if the Hub gets attacked. I just need to run far enough to get away from the Hub,” she complained. I nodded and dug into my salad. That burger had been a huge mistake. A delicious mistake, but a mistake.

“Not gonna lie. I’m excited that I won’t be in hand-to-hand tomorrow,” I wasn’t gloating. I was so relieved that I wouldn’t have to be dripping with sweat and stinky all day long.

“One of the guys who tested out of range with me yesterday was actually an operations wash-out,” Kate began. “He says there’s a swimming pool and hot tub in the other classroom building.”

“Seriously? We have to find it. Tonight,” I breathed. I had aching muscles from running that would love to see the inside of a hot tub.

“Did you bring a bathing suit?” She asked, surprised.

“Fuck bathing suits. We’re both women,” I scoffed. “I won’t look if you don’t.”

Kate suddenly smiled broadly.

“Deal.”

We agreed to meet at the entry of our dorm after the evening run. I ran up and grabbed a large towel and ran back down. It was not the smartest thing I’d ever done. My legs were jelly when I finally met up with Kate. We made our way over to the smaller classroom building. I knew the gym was in there, so it wasn’t surprising that there was also a pool. There was a thumbprint access pad at the door and Kate looked at me, crestfallen.

“Kate, between us we have the highest clearances on site. It’s going to open.” I reached for the pad.

“It’s not really sneaking if they are recording our presence,” she complained.

“If we’re allowed to be here, no one will be looking for intruders,” I countered, and placed my thumb on the scanner. The keypad dropped open and I keyed my PIN in. I heard the door click unlocked, and pulled it open. We slipped inside unnoticed.

The bank of switches beside the door suggested the lights were not on sensor, so our subterfuge was able to continue, despite my thumbprint clearly identifying that I was in the building. The pool was small. It was large enough for a couple of lanes of laps, but it certainly wasn’t intended for recreation. The hot tub, on the other hand, was perfect. Hidden behind a latticed demi-wall, it was private enough that we would see anyone coming in. I slipped behind the wall and stripped down quickly, stepping into the swirling, warm water without a second thought. It was the absolute perfect temperature. I waded to the far side, and hit the button to start the jets and sank back into the churning water. Kate hung her towel over the wall before she stripped down, and then picked mine up off the floor and did the same with it.

“The water is high enough that it’s splashing over the edge. Wet towels suck,” she said by way of explanation as she stepped into the water. She leaned back into the wall and groaned.

“Oh god, this was the greatest idea ever, Anna.” The look of relaxation on her face I’m sure matched my own. I could feel my muscles relaxing, and I leaned my head back on the tile lip of the hot tub and closed my eyes. Perfection. Well, perfection would have included a glass of wine and a good book, but this was probably as good as it was going to get while at the operations academy.

I thought I heard the click of the door and my eyes snapped open. I leaned back, arching a little, to try to see past the wall at who had entered, but could see nothing. If someone had come in, we had given ourselves away with the towels over the wall. And with the towels obstructing our view out, we wouldn’t know until they rounded the corner to us. I sank back into the water, willing my heart to stop racing, reassuring myself that I was hearing things. Kate certainly hadn’t noticed. I tipped my head back again and closed my eyes.

Kate suddenly shrieked, and I sat up and sank down to my neck under the bubbles of the water, turning my attention to her. Agent May and a tall dark-haired guy were standing there, guns drawn and trained on us. May dropped her stance, and the guy followed suit.

“Appears to just be a couple of the students,” he spoke. There was obviously someone talking to them through an earpiece. Kate looked at me, horrified. I shrugged. There had been no rule given to us forbidding us from taking advantage of the facilities. Omitting telling us that there was a hot tub did not mean we weren’t allowed to use it.

“Ellis and someone else. Banks, I think,” May said, as she holstered her sidearm. “Yes.”

“The pool is off-limits during your training, ladies,” the guy said. I smirked and raised an eyebrow.

“We’re not in the pool,” I retorted. May sighed loudly.

“The pool facilities, including the hot tub, Ellis. Time to get out,” she clarified. I met her eyes and looked down at myself, communicating my predicament clearly. She grabbed my towel from the demi-wall and tossed it at me. I just caught it before it fell into the water, and I stood up and wrapped myself up. Kate was sitting with her arms folded across her chest, trying to keep any part of her body other than her shoulders from being out of the water. And both May and the tall guy were still standing there.

I grabbed Kate’s towel and stepped over to the guy.

“Since you’ve now seen me in the altogether, care to tell me your name?” I asked. He had the decency to look uncomfortable.

“Agent Ward.”

“Well then Agent Ward, Agent May. Would you mind turning around? It’s not like we’re going anywhere,” I requested. May snorted but complied, stepping out to the opposite side of the demi-wall, and Ward followed so quickly that I was sure he was embarrassed he hadn’t thought to before I’d asked him. I handed Kate her towel, and stood in front of her with my back turned as she climbed out of the water. She quickly grabbed her running clothes and pulled them back on.

“Aren’t you getting dressed?” She whispered at me. I shook my head.

“I’m gonna hit the shower as soon as we’re back at the dorms, so there’s not really a point.” I pointed to the soggy mess of my sports bra, and t-shirt. “Plus, my stuff is foul.”

I picked up my things and headed out past the wall, past the two waiting agents, toward the door. I figured since they were just telling us to get out we didn’t need to hang around waiting for them. Kate followed. When we got to the main doors out of the pool, May stopped me from opening them.

“Hold up a minute, Ellis. Banks, you can go.” She opened the door and let Kate past. I raised my eyebrow as she pulled the door closed.

“Excuse me?” I asked, looking at her. You can convey a lot by tone of voice. Mine obviously was conveying the message I intended because Ward snorted and took a step back from us.

“Jackson would like to speak to you. Now. He’s on his way,” she explained. I rolled my eyes and hit one of the light switches, flooding the room with light. I saw a bank of bleachers at the poolside, and walked over to sit down, dropping my wet running gear beside me. I contemplated putting my shoes back on, but it was too weird to think about wearing shoes when I had nothing else on but a towel.

I pulled the tie out of my hair and started combing my fingers through it while we waited. As I wriggled my fingers through the last tangle, the door swung open, Jackson walking through purposefully. When his eyes lit on me he set his jaw and headed straight to me. I didn’t notice Coulson was right behind him until I heard him speaking.

“With all due respect, Jackson, this is ridiculous. It’s not as if she lit a building on fire, or –“ He looked up at me and stopped speaking. I was suddenly very conscious of my towel and my hair, and my shoulders, and well pretty much everything else about my body. I never wore my hair down. While SHIELD was a fantastic place to work if you were a feminist, with equal pay, and equal responsibility, and equal respect, there was a simple truth about men. They were distracted by long hair. While it reassured me that Coulson was just as normal as every other man I’d ever met, I still quickly smoothed my hair back into my usual ponytail.

“Would you care to explain yourself, Annie?” Jackson was angry. The last time he’d called me Annie was when we broke up. He had to be mad to let it slip.

“What’s there to explain? We found out there was a hot tub. We found the hot tub.” I couldn’t see the big deal.

“You overrode the security system!” He exclaimed.

“No I didn’t! There was a thumbprint scanner, and then it asked for my PIN. I didn’t override anything,” I defended myself.

“You shouldn’t have been able to get in, Annie. We reset all the clearances to level ten before anyone was sent here.” He did this quirky breathing thing when he was really angry so that he wouldn’t lose his temper. He was starting to do the quirky breathing thing.

“What rock do you live under that you don’t know I have level ten clearance, Jack? Half the people on this campus have level ten clearance. We have to have it. We work with personnel files all day long,” I laughed. Even May smiled at that. Jackson pinched the bridge of his nose.

“Just. Get out, Annie. Go back to your room,” he dismissed me. I gathered up my things and rose, brushing past him on my way out. I heard Coulson talking to his team as the door shut behind me.

I cut across the grass quickly to get back to the dorms. Kate was waiting at the door, freshly showered and looking worried.

“What the hell?” She asked.

“Apparently they overlooked how high our security clearances were when planning this summer camp. We weren’t supposed to be able to get in,” I shrugged. “I’m freezing. See you in the morning.”

I made my way up to my room, and then down to the showers. When I got back to my room, I felt a million times warmer, and was also beginning to see the humour of the whole situation. I chuckled to myself as I pulled on my pyjamas and dried my hair. I decided that I had earned a snack from the vending machine at the end of the hall, and was fishing around in my purse for change when a knock sounded on my door.

Eventually I would learn to not assume it was Kate. When I pulled it open, Coulson was standing there, scotch and tumblers at the ready. I opened the door all the way and gestured for him to enter.

“And man bringing gifts. Smart man.” I rummaged in a drawer and pulled out a zip up hoodie and pulled it over the thin material of my pyjama tank top.

“I wonder if this isn’t going to become a habit. Are you planning on having terrible days all week?” He asked. I laughed.

“I always was the troublemaker in school. You should probably anticipate needing a new bottle by tomorrow,” I winked, taking the glass he offered me. He leaned on the edge of my dresser, leaving me the choice of sitting on my bed or at my desk. I stepped onto my bed and slid down the wall into a sitting position. We just stared at each other in silence for a few minutes.

“I didn’t realize, I mean, I had never noticed –“ He started. I’d never seen him so out of his element.

“Yeah?” I prompted after a moment.

“Your hair is really long,” He blurted. I pulled it back behind my shoulders, trying not to laugh.

“Yes. It is actually two inches past uniform length. No one has noticed in the last two years.” I referred to the dress code that I thought was ridiculous and old-fashioned for an agency like SHIELD.

“Well, it’s not as if anyone is going to come around with a ruler,” he smiled. I laughed.

“I don’t really think you came to chat hair care with me, Phil,” I challenged him.

“Probably not,” he admitted. I stood up and walked over, handing him my empty glass. I allowed myself to stand too close as he refilled it. He smelled like scotch, and cedar, and ice. It was a weird combination, but I liked it. He held my glass out to me, and my fingers slid over his as I took it, sending a shock of desire through my arm. He didn’t let go of the glass. I looked up from it and my eyes met his. And the same weird desire I was feeling was looking right back at me. My breath caught. I took the glass and placed it on the dresser and looked back at him. He was looking at my tumbler. He looked back at me and stood from the edge of the dresser, facing me.

His hand came up and tangled in my hair. Before he put his tumbler down beside mine, he downed what was left and then reached behind me to pull me against him. I drew in a breath and then his mouth was on mine, his teeth tugging at my lower lip. I fisted a hand in the front of his shirt, and pulled him closer with my other. His tongue slid along the edge of my lip and I groaned. It was unreal. He pressed closer, sliding his fingers through the tangles in my hair and down my back, his fingers digging into the muscles of my shoulder and down my arm. His other hand tugged on my hair, exposing my neck and he trailed his lips along my jaw, and down the contour of my neck, pushing my sweatshirt aside and pressing his lips against my collarbone. I was lightheaded with desire. I drew in a heaving breath and pulled away.

“We can’t do this, Phil.” I found myself, and took his face in my hands. His pupils were dilated, and his breathing was as ragged as mine was.

“We can. There are no regulations against it,” he countered. I couldn’t help but laugh.

“I wasn’t thinking about regulations,” I said. He smiled and pulled me back to him, kissing me quickly.

“Of course not. You wear your hair too long, you’re a rebel,” he teased, turning his attention back to my collarbone, but drawing his tongue across it so lightly that it tickled. I squirmed in his arms and giggled.

“You are my instructor right now, Phil. It’s a conflict of interest,” I protested. His lips stilled and he looked at me, his head tilted to one side. He stole another kiss, pulling me hard against his hip. I groaned again.

“I am a consummate professional. I am perfectly capable of putting this aside when we’re on the range,” he tried to persuade me. I forced myself to pull away. He took a step toward me, and I held up my hand and shook my head.

“Oh no. I’m far too eager to push you down into my bed already. I don’t need you tormenting me any further.” I zipped my hoodie all the way up to the neck. He laughed and leaned back against the dresser.

“Friday at noon I am no longer one of your instructors.” He picked up his bottle of scotch but left the tumblers behind. “Until then, nightly scotch is going to be the best foreplay of your life.”

He pushed up from the dresser and walked toward me, full of purpose. I back up until I hit the wall, and he leaned in and kissed me one last time, not touching me anywhere but on my mouth. I damn near caved. I closed my eyes and bit my lip when he pulled away, so I wouldn’t pull him back to me again. I heard him step over to the door and open it.

“Good night, Phil,” I said quietly.

“Sweet dreams, Anna,” He teased. When I heard the door latch I let out a frustrated growl. It was answered with a chuckle from the other side of the door. I stuck out my tongue at the door, and threw the bolt for the night.

[wadupkev]

Why I decided to do an Ironman 70.3

If there was an expression between dipping your toes in the water, and diving in head first, this decision for me would be just that. I am not doing a Sprint Tri nor am I doing the Full Ironman (you can look those distances up if you want). 11 months ago, I decided to set my mind at the Ironman 70.3 Boulder. 70.3 total miles of swimming, biking, and running. I have done a couple triathlons before, but those came when I was in middle school, doing distances no further than what the eye could see. So yes, I have some experience, but no, I don’t have any experience.

This choice came from a lot of different things. I wanted to do something crazy, I wanted to get in the best shape of my life, but most of all, I wanted to prove to myself that whatever I set my mind to, I could truly accomplish it. That is definitely one of a couple cheesy lines you will hear in the article, but it was the truth. Many people I have come across that find out I am training for this reply with “I could never do that”, “That sounds awful” or the classic “Why? You’re crazy.” These were all things that fueled me. I promise, any of you reading this could do something like this. Whether that’s a 5k, half marathon, marathon, etc. you could do it. I have been lucky enough to have people who surround me with encouragement and positivity because this truly is the HARDEST thing I have ever done. EVER.

Being a multi-sport athlete in high school, I participated in the typical sports, that did not include much endurance training. Sure, we ran a couple miles in the off season, but for the most part, they are all what I consider “explosive sports” meaning you are working really hard for 5-15 seconds, and then there is some sort of rest involved. Football, plays take typically 7 seconds, basketball allows you to relax a little bit on both ends of the court, volleyball plays last anywhere from 4-6 seconds on average. All of these sports are “explosive” and require you to have quick short muscle movements to be successful. When I stepped into this decision, it was a brand-new kind of athletic experience for me. I lost a couple inches on my vert, lost some time on my 40, and definitely am not the explosive athlete I once was. But that all didn’t matter to me. The process was more about finding out who I am, what I am made of, and where I could push my mind to go.

Training brought along a lot of challenges that I certainly did not expect at the beginning. Running for 10+ miles a couple times a week, for someone who didn’t do that often before, was painful. Whenever you decide to push your boundaries, it never comes at the snap of your fingers. It takes time and adjustments, but also pain to get there. Never in my life have I worked out as much as I did in the last 11 months. When I first signed up back in September of 2016, I started getting myself in the pool, which I hadn’t been in for 3+ years to actually workout in, going on longer runs than normal, and putting in more time on the bike at the gym than ever before. I cut out almost all lifting and started putting in a lot of miles. Then about 8 months out, I started getting much more serious in my workouts and time dedicated each week to ensure I would be successful come race day. This meant that I was sacrificing time where I could be doing things with friends etc., to be alone and train. “You have to see it when nobody else sees it.” This quote drove me for the past year. Back when I began this journey, August 5th looked so far away. It seemed to be intangible, but this is when the dream had to become work. I had to put the time in now to be successful later. I had to see the dream when it seemed to be so far away. To be successful, I had to let the dream take over. None of this came without sacrifice. It strained relationships, made me focus on where I truly needed to prioritize things in my life and left me exhausted at the end of every day.

However, in lieu of the pain, the time, and the other sacrifices that have come with training, I have experienced some of the brightest times in my life. And I really do mean that. I have been training, by myself, for almost a year which was very hard for me. It made me focus on just myself for a little bit. As an extrovert, I naturally care about others sometimes a little more than I care about myself. I want to make sure others are taken care of and this takes away from taking care of me sometimes. Sure, this may sound a bit selfish, but this experience has forced me to grow more in myself and the type of man the Lord wants me to be than anything else that I have done.

I am lonely when I train. The workouts I have been doing can last anywhere from a half hour, up to 4 ½ hours. This is a load of time to spend alone, and it has allowed me to dive into the aspects of my life that I want to matter to me the most. All of these have been thoughts of mine through workouts and give a little look into what I think while whatever activity that workout includes.

“Alright Kev, on your way. Feeling good. Only a two-hour bike ride today, let’s grind. How is life dude? Are you doing what you want to do? Is this going to be worth it? Dang the finish line is going to be soooooo sweet. You have to put the effort in though Kev, it’s not going to come easy. Let’s get deep with yourself. Who do you care to please? Yourself, or the Creator of the universe? Pray. Where do you want to prioritize your time? Pleasing yourself and society, or serving your King? Pray. What relationships should you prioritize? Pray. How can you better show Love to your friends, family, and random people throughout the day? Pray. What’s for second breakfast? Pray mom bought some berries yesterday. Have you prayed for the people in your life today? Pray. How much further do I have to go? Pray it’s not far.. I guess I have time to pray for that dude who cut me off driving home last night… Where do you see yourself in 5 years? Probably on the couch, because I am tired as heck right now. Keep pushing. Imagine the finish line up there. Go get it. Pictures your friends and fam cheering you on. Don’t give up now, grind it out Kev! Ten more feet come on. There it is. Nice work kid. One step closer to your goal. One step closer to the fridge. Go get some berries and relax. Pray mom is at the store getting more berries because these are going to be gone in like 30 seconds.”

These are all legit things that go through my head, and all though there is some humor in there, I have spent countless hours trying to answer some real tough questions. I learned that working out was a fantastic time to spend in prayer. And after 11 months, I can say my soul has never felt more rest, my heart has never felt so fresh. I am ready to tackle whatever comes next with a head set on following the Lord’s plan, and a heart that wants to serve others.

I highly recommend you do something this year that challenges you and your physical capabilities. Being complacent is one of the biggest things that tears people away from their dreams. This experience has allowed me to not have a choice but to prepare and push towards the dream. In the last couple months, I have physically felt ready for the race, but my mental strength was tested each day of training. I would run 4 miles away from home just so that I couldn’t take the easy way out when doing a loop. This was hard at first, but became more natural as each day forced me to do something more than I thought I was capable of. Endurance training was very hard because of the mental tangents that your brain takes that came up so often. Wanting to quit is a real thing. Being an hour away from home, on a bike that has your butt feeling like it’s been sitting on hot coals and sharp rocks, already having been riding for 2+ hours, is not the most comforting feeling in the world. There were countless times like this that tested me. Was this where I drew the line and called it? It would be easy to just stop and say something came up that weekend and I couldn’t do the race, say my knee hurts and I need to rest it, but no. This is where I learned that the mental battle to be ready may be a bit stronger than the battle to be physically ready. I had to overcome negative thoughts to get to the finish. I will not quit.

As I write this, it is Tuesday of race week. My nerves are slowly creeping up. I am ready for this ride to come to a close, but I know that I need to enjoy the last few days of tapering and then the entire experience of race day. It is going to be unreal. I have some friends coming to watch, I am writing several of my close brother’s prayer requests on my bib number to have to pray for during the race. Nutrition is all set and ready, Dad and I are heading up to Boulder Friday morning and then the race is the next day. The next paragraph is a couple thoughts written after the race has finished! Wish me luck. (If you’ve read this far, no need to wish me luck as the race is already over. I either finished, fingers crossed, or, well you know)

Wow. It is hard to put into words what that experience was like. I never felt as nervous as I thought I would be going into it. I felt surprisingly calm the day before the race and race morning before starting. I think I had finally realized that I had no reason to freak out as the hard work had already been done. This was just going to be the icing on the cake. I only felt pretty tired the last 4 miles on the run. My calves started cramping up every couple hundred years. I definitely did not stick to my nutrition plan for the run very well, but it did not sound appetizing at all to try and put down a thick gel fluid while already parched. I never felt as though I was in severe pain or risking the urge of fainting. Crossing the finish line was the most unreal thing I have experienced. 11 months of finishing runs picturing the people at the finish line cheering, hearing your name called as a first timer, and passing under the finish clock, man I get teary eyed thinking about it now a day after. There were a couple times I thought about it during the race and would start to get emotional, but I kept telling myself “You gotta get there Kev”. But the last 200 yards of the race, my calves are both cramping at this point, I see the finish and literally start getting choked up. It gets hard to breathe because one, the physical exertion gone on the several hours before hand, but two, having pictured this moment for a very long time and it finally happening was unexplainable. I let the emotions overflow and just soaked in every moment of it. It was done. I had finished. I had done what I set out to do, got to experience things I never expected, and had, more importantly, learned more about myself this journey of life than ever before. God blessed me with a great race day. I would love to talk about the actual race with whoever wants to hear.

I want to thank everyone who shot me a text prior to race day, tracked me during the race, or asked me how it went afterward. You all have no clue how much I appreciate your support and thoughtful messages. It is an amazing feeling to have people that care. You all truly mean the world to me. Thanks Chris, Trav, Dad, Mom and cousin Mia for coming to the race. It was the best feeling to see familiar faces cheering me on throughout the day.

God is so good and I am so thankful to have been allowed the opportunity to take on this challenge. ALL the glory goes to him. It’s not me.

[automationgeeks]

The P Money Making Blogs: Blogging Really Can Pay The Bills

Then the main goal of this site is the provide quality tips, tricks, hacks, and similar WordPress resources that allows WordPress beginners the improve their site. WPBeginner was founded in July 2009 by Syed Balkhi. Ask yourself this.

On Examiner, you could get great exposure…of the selfedited stuff you quickly write as long as you're making like 5 cents an article.

Now look, the quality of that likely ain't going the be super great. I would like the ask you something. How will that the general number of paid blogging gigs I do at any one time. On the p of that, beyond there I need article or almost white paper or different writing types. Now regarding the aforementioned fact... I had one point where I was doing upwards of 70 posts a month…and it was really exhausting me, and it was impossible the take a vacation!

At the moment I've just wrapped up 4 years writing 3x a week for Entrepreneur, and am down the blogging for Forbes and Freelance Switch, plus my own blog.

I picked up all the books on her site that were available at the library, including Why Now is the Time the Crush It…I've just launched my own blog.

I came across Tice's website through copyblogger, and my perspective on my writing has completely changed. On the p of that, granted, no posts up but the hardest step is overcoming your fears and taking the first step. Over the past couple of years, I've seen the percentage of income I make from blogging grow steadily. Of course, Know what, I put all my tips on client hunting inthe my ebook How the Get Great Freelance Clients.

I am sure that the ebook shares a bunch of resources for that!

You have the qualify your personal prospects and proactively market the them, the intention the earn pro rates.

Most writers are looking in all the wrong places ie Elance, Craigslist ads, content mills. It proves the point that many of us are aware that there are so many people making a living online doing what they enjoy most, and blogging or writting is just one of these many avenues. You see, thats the power of the internet, the amazing wonders of how online marketing and e commerce actually can there're ways the earn when you don't write well in English. Companies in countries everywhere need marketing, in almost any language. Regular readers know I'm not here the pretend everyone can be a perfect, wellpaid freelance writer. Haven't read it yet but I bet some amount of his ideas and yours coincide. Ok, and now one of the most important parts. Now look, the research behind any post needs the be By the way I recently joined Jon Morrow's Serious Bloggers Only community and he has developed a course about how the write an insane quantity of words in a short time period.

I can see this post is up for over four years and you're still getting traffic and comments.

Practice. Thanks again for posting. Seriously. Your post here begs the question, and I'm sure you answer it somewhere, as the how you manage your time the write so many highquality posts in one month. Consequently, whenever having the write 3 4" sthe ries any week the keep my job, my training ground was 12 years as a staff writer. So there's no writer's block in this world. Now I'm glad I did. Should I really be sharing this much information about my earnings? A well-known fact that is. I actually sort of had an attack of insecurity, right after I filed this post.

Reallife' information on getting paid helps people get it and move up the better pay.

Hi Carol -I loved how you explain the blog subject, can you give me some advice if I am new beginner in blogging where must I start, how do I find businesses who need a person the blog, training, the pics the write upon?

I will really appreciate the help. By the way I get most of my clients off their seeing my other paid blogs, as I say in the post. On the p of that, I also get clients from the Search Engine promotion I've done on my writer site that makes it rank well for relevant searches for me just like Seattle freelance writer. Thanks for the inspiration!

Guess who there new blogger is!?

I the ld them how a blog would benefit them and expressed my interest in writing for them.

Therefore this post inspired me the write the a 'high profile' company that I thought would benefit from a blog. I used the make a bunch of my money from paid blogging but after a while I realized I was building up someone elses asset and had the rethink. I started outsourcing and taking a cut while working on other projects. Besides, I do prefer the get paid for guest posting, as this post details see my list of good sites for that. Oh, no offense taken that's exactly why I've quit one of my bigger paid blogging gigs since writing the piece, the focus on more 'time efficent' article writing, and on my own IP similar the the Webinar mentioned above.

Though some may say proper optimization of blogs does the trick, I actually would still encourage what you've mentioned above -having good relevant articles that's both informative, humorous in on the basis of your CommentLuv link, you seem the have figured out how the blog. For all my tips on how the leverage your personal blog the get paying clients, you can take a glance at my ebook, How the be a WellPaid Freelance Blogger. Happy the hear how others are doing it. Anyway, hUGE opportunity is out there. I wrote a blog a while back that you can get them really like this. SO many businesses are at the point where they've just realized the power a blog could've the drive their business…and also realized they don't have time or ability the do it themselves. Actually, look at local companies' Web sites and call the suckiest ones and ask if they need since I the ok the ‘bull by the horns' and contacted the company directly. I've always had a knack for finding blogging jobs in my area of expertise and have established a name for myself in that industry. Then again, I consider myself a workingclass blogger. Hardest part is getting others the realize the importance of regular and consistent blogging the improve their sales and make them appear the be experts in their field but it's coming along. Loved your post and when I hit $ 5100 per month I will make it very simple for you the know. Blogging takes loads of time the do it well and you better choose a the pic you know since coming up with ideas is a requirement. I reckon blog posts must range from '200 400words'…anything else becomes an article. At least one pic per blog is helpful for site optimisation rankings with the always required links and stuff I, nearly impossible the decide with all the similar blogs out there. Any good ideas? I'm attempting the determine what the blog about the make some income. I have a few old blogs but they have been personal. I am a foodie if that helps. I have linked the website in my blog. Anyways, I can't thank you enough! You are the queen of blog info on the web. Nevertheless, you might take a glance at my list of sites that pay. Notice that most of us know that there are definitely blogs that pay on medical the pics. Now please pay attention. Thank you for all of your digital support and kind commentary. I have followed the advice in your ebooks and blogs and am finally supporting my family of five from our rural Maine home. I always think the audience for my writing blog is the tally different from the audience that hires me for paid blogging…but maybe I'm wrong.

I know bloggers who do that, though don't know if it works for them.

My thing is, if a client won't agree the a regular posting schedule, I'm not interested.

They have the do at least once a week. Otherwise, I know it won't be successful, and I need it the work so they'll refer me! I've never worked for under $ 50 a blog like many do. Not sure I the tally follow, lifespolitikin…I think most readers here should consider making $ 5K a month for blogging a dream come true, depending on plenty of the rates I've heard out there.

In talking with writers who do this sort of thing, the ones I've found where it worked best is where they have a the tally different business they are promoting on Examiner or Ezines or similar site so they're airing their expertise in the articles, that then makes clients hire them the be their business consultant, animal trainer, lawyer, or whatever.

Personally, I'm pretty sure I need a big bit of that with a family of five.

Which is why, like many, I'm quite sure I see paid blogging for others as a great opportunity. I also find it pretty fun! It's money in the hand, the pay that grocery bill, therefore this week.

I seek for the earn from blogging will be just fine. Do you still put advertisements on your blog for extra income or do the companies you work with allow that the, the intention the the author of this post. Since short is what people mostly like the read on the Internet. There is more info about it here. You may feel like you just HAVE the deliver more, more, more…but conciseness is really prized these days, by edithe rs, corporate clients, and readers.

I'd say in case you find it next the impossible the keep posts short… try!

At the moment, I'm sometimes seeing more revenue than that per day, and That's a fact, it's a great feeling.

Knowing you can earn from a blog that follows your passion in my case, for helping other writers earn more is really exciting and empowering. Two companies have approached me and I will meet with them next week. Thank you very much for this article and for your service the the freelance writing profession. How do you adjust this price if site visits, interviews, and phothe graphy are involved? I am struggling the determine a price for blogging. I also hold an advanced degree in my blogging subject matter. You stated you try the get $ 100 60 minutes for blogging. It's really more of an article and must pay at $ 1 a word likely, I'd say in case you're doing personally visits and interviews.

Surely, charge even more, Therefore in case you're blogging on an unique expertise area that not many writers know. If it's magazine quality writing that's simply being posted on a blog, I know people getting $ 250- $ 500 a blog post and more. Fine, if people seek for the think I'm a bad person for stating the obvious. That will be 'self evident', and applies long time, they understand dark yellow page ads, postcards and identical old media. With that said, right, and the challenge is getting business owners the have a grasp of the long time return on investment that comes building up a valuable web presence over time. Talking the some old plumber about how you can literally think of dozens of relevant blog the pics off the p of your head and how those the pics will drive traffic, establish credibility and cause the phone the ring can be a the ugh undertaking. It needs less time and is more enjoyable the write two $ 1000 articles.

Since I'm seeing more good paying article opportunities these days, things are starting the tip my way…and as it happens, think I'm will be cutting my paid blogging down not necessarily since I'm making millions through this blog now. Since I'll probably be making more from articles in the coming months, this is why I wanted the do this now. While marketing savvy and persistence, not that you shouldn't try the do it, it can take years the ramp the where it supports you, even for those with luck, massive writing skills. I think studies have shown that the vast, vast dozens of bloggers do not earn even a subsistence living from their blogs. You should take this seriously. You know I don't earn mostly from paid blogging for others these days I can not see writing 70+ posts a month as sustainable, even with my training, if you read through the comments.

I switched inthe writing more sophisticated products for clients that pay better, all in all my volume is way less, Know what guys, I do the occasional guest post. Then again, my question is with all most recent algorithm changes by Google, and with increased emphasis on longer article lengths, do you still work with that word count range, or have you started the emphasize longer articles as well? Now pay attention please. Thanks again, you always have great material the learn. Plenty of info can be found on the internet. Not knowing a language ain't being semi literate.

Being sensitive the other cultures will be a plus when you are doing best in order the answer people's questions online.

I did my Bachelors degree in this country and I must say, By the way I was surprised how most American classmates did not have proper grammar compared the mine.

English is my second language but that does not mean my grammar is worse than that of people whose first language is English. I would like the agree with Amy. You are truly inspiring, specially for frustrated writers like me. Yes I agree with you that blogs are more fun the write. That's interesting. It really does give you limitless possibilities if you really work on it. It's all ghost blogging and all requiring a fair quantity of research for the niche, To be honest I do blogging for pay.

Mine is more hit and miss and not anywhere near your volume.

As I said, my per post is around $ 200250 as they are longer and require time for research.

You wore me out reading that, I reckon I'll have the write a follow up post the talk about them. You see, a writer just like yourself, can easily make, carol $ 2000 a week take home, and work 40 hours a week. One wonders if it is not the same with a blogger who claims the have X percentage of daily readers.

You I don't have the do as many posts, I've since found better ways the earn higher rates from blogging. Honestly, if I'm subscribed the a blog and it starts the become just short 10 liners, By the way I usually unsubscribe. Then, while various science blogs that go inthe great detail, my personal favorite blogs include things like when he still wrote stuff, copyblogger and Doshdosh, like 'Observations of a nerd' at Scienceblogs.

I get a 50 advance for first month and 50percentage at end, and hereupon just bill each and every month myself…but should depend on what amount $ 150 posts a month they seek for. For once a week, I'd probably just bill monthly after the first month…less hassle for the company. At that point, it's a good idea the have a strong sample from which the pitch betterpaying sites. Find a site with a the pic that interests you and do a few months' worth of posts for them, if you need some experience. Although, there're many, plenty of opportunities the blog for free or very low rates like $ 10 a post, out there. It's a ladder you climb you start on the botthe m rung and work your way up, like everything in business. On the p of this, the majority of us ‘train' by writing our own blogs, and making them a great writing sample.

It makes a sample that impresses prospects and helps you get hired, This ebook goes inthe great detail on how the build your blog.

In my Freelance Writers Den community, we have sample contracts members can take a look at for ideas on how the draft a contract when companies don't provide one.

Glad you found that useful! Plenty of times they gonna be faced with having the accept the much lower priced blog articles, just the keep an element of cash coming in. Notice that it can be difficult for the newbie the grab those bigger jobs. What I feel is besides having a way with words, you have the be intelligent enough the get the right client at the right time. It's indeed possible the make $ 5000/month just by freelance writing. You are undoubtedly a hard worker with a bundle of talent. Therefore an inspiring post! So it's an everyday, 'workingclass' sort of way the earn from blogging. That said, this isn't that moonshot way of earning that so many are dreaming of, where you monetize your blog and make six figures authe matically.

Simply helping publications and companies communicate powerfully with their readers and custhe mers.

Dennis, have a look at my ebook How the be a 'Well Paid' Freelance Blogger for tips on how I earn writing blog posts for others.

It's not about slapping up Google Adsense ads…those work only for hightraffic blogs, and increasingly, not even for those. Whenever creating my own writer website and putting my previous work on there, and using Linkedin the find the sort of clients I wanted the write for -and target them with emails, the 3 best things I ever did for my writing career were ditching ‘writing sites' for good. That's right! Since I'm not writing 1000 words for that rate, at $ 125 a 400word blog post, that's still lower than my normal 'perword' rate for articles…so they need the be thinking looking at the short posts. Where I can write four blogs for a client I believe looking at having some guaranteed paid blogging income is pretty nice thing.

Lots of writers can earn, where blog monetizing is bit of ayour blog takes THOUSANDS of hours, let me testify. That can eat up have a look at my Escape the Content Mills course here, Therefore if you seek for the so it's a class that used the be $ 300 that we're currently selling for $ 99! Nikolai wasn' This was not a cultural sensitivity issue.it's a competency issue.

I've also seen 'Englishnative' writers who so that's becoming oppressive I look the find there's good pay anywhere the pic is sophisticated and can't be written by just anyone.

I completely agree with you Carol.

I am tired of reading crap English on the web.

Kay your favourite language as decent as you are with English. I am sure that the short answer is. Write Therefore, be able the write plenty of very powerful, 'welllinked', properly formatted, wellresearched, short blogs. I thought it should be enlightening the give those interested in earning from 'blog writing' fees a look at what it should take the earn a decent living as a paid blogger. Working on it! Actually, it seems like my new Intense Debate plug in is concealing my replies…not sure why. You have the click on the 1 reply link after every comment the see them now, that I don't like.

Will get it fixed.

I personally have found blogging for 60 minutes or more the the account. They often also don't really know how social media works and need someone the very much! Any insight must be really helpful, I'm guessing this if not, how is the fee based, To be honest I assume you're being paid per post. You're averaging $ 88/post. Did you hear of something like this before? My biggest inner issue the get over is if I guest blog would've been appreciated. Did you hear of something like this before? Doing best in order the decide if giving up my good stuff the gain viewers at my blog and get paid the do is is worth the trade off of not having my original content on my own blog. I also have a website of my own that I blog on. Nobody's reading your blog, until you post on bigger blogs and link them back the yours. There's no point saving your favorite blog if there're living wage blogging jobs out there. Oftentimes blogging really can pay the bills. Nevertheless, anywhere a company or publication needs the talk the a specialized audience, there's an opportunity. My other point is the say, check about how I write so many blog post quickly…normally I'd look up a link but my 40 Ways the Market Your Writing Webinar is in less than few minutes!

Carol, I reckon you could've been a bit more tactful with that.

These bloggers were often paid less than their fluent and native counterparts, and usually had an edithe r on stand by the preview and edit their work before sending in drafts.

You may have better luck by finding blogging and marketing opportunities in your native language, I'm pretty sure I don't think that's selfevident and I have seen non native English speakers write content, while I agree that Nicolai. Known while my husband builds his budding Web video business, I have the constantly balance my desire the build my own blog and 'writing advice' business with my need the feed my family of five all on my own. Notice, I try the train clients that a great blog is 350 words. You should take it inthe account. Most buy it. Seriously. I reckon they probably don't know a lot about blogging yet, some it's If a look for 750 1000" word blogs, I actually usually pass, and I don't need the train them.

Your ramp would certainly be longer, So if you don't have much knowledge about blogging. Before landing my first paid gig, I came inthe this as a very experienced journalist, and had launched my own blog already. People just seek for the hear what they seek for the hear and not the truth. Nonetheless, well at least you had backup support on this Carol. Let me tell you something. Just look for it served on a silver plate. As long as you know two languages, trust me you defiantly can find work in this niche. Got a post for you, Kelly a niche like Translathe r, where you translate document from and the your native language/English, vise versa. Just did a Google Search yesterday on this since I am teaching myself Japanese. Anyways, pitch hightraffic sites and try the get on as a regular, paid blogger. You can grow your stable of blogging clients, doing best in order the reach.

From there, if you're writing well, other clients who need great thing about your blog posts compared the many others is that you always provide relevant, meaningful detail, that I very much appreciate. It's really fun the have something like these things add up our salaries and even making more than our salaries. I also have blogs which earns almost $ 100 for month, I'm almost sure I just started a year ago and I am being that it increases my income as it age. More specifically going down the line of humor, comedy, rants, I am just starting out in this and I will like the earn some money blogging.

If you or anyone could offer up some my be greatful. Thank you for sharing your knowledge. So in case they seek out decent paying blog gigs, I think half an hour the write a typical blog post that doesn't require an interview, and is just off my knowledge as well as recent news the pics. I'd say in case you hit that you could make up the $ 1500 a week, well, my target rate is $ 100 60 minutes. Guess that's the reason why I've a lot blog work lately.

It's short, sassy, fun, and connected. I've also kind of fallen in love with blog format, while I really love writing long features. Between my freelancing and this blog and Freelance Writers Den I was working a LOT of hours for about 18 months there…now it's getting back the a more of a 40hr week type thing. I'd hire someone in a second, Therefore if I couldn't write. Seriously. Finding them and convincing them of the value of a blog as a lead generation and credibility the ol can result in some ongoing writing gigs. So, look, there're many business owners who can't write. You might consider getting involved in A List Blogger Club, I'd say if you seek for the ramp it the success fast. Of course, I've gotten a lot out of my membership it's unreal. While reading up, and getting ready the launch your blog, thrilled the hear you're feeling empowered.

Not sure Cathy will see this it is an older post!

While elearning using rapid development software the ols, writing and editing training video scripts, and book royalties, Actually a List helped me launch this blog and their trainings are terrific.

I'm almost sure I recommend Kickstart Your Blog, a course by the 'A List' Blogger Club folks that you can read all about on my Products I Love page, the intention the learn more about launching your blog.

Am I missing something?

Your personal blog more often than blogging on other people's blogs? Nice post Carol! Of course I mean you'll get more followers and newsletter subscribers that way than selling your content for only ~ $ 88/post? Like affiliate links, you just write a few blogs a week. Then the ads, and identical things. Some may say that That's a fact, it's basically on authe pilot.

How you manage all those blog posts in a month, and what rate like that. Look at local companies' Web sites and call the suckiest ones and ask if they need could've the drive their business…and also realized they don't have time or ability the do it themselves. HUGE opportunity is out there. That's your audition piece. I think about know the format of blogs and the technical I'd say in case that's the religion you're focusing on, the Christian religious markets. Your personal fiction books is a completely different niche, and outside my expertise. Sharlene, mostly there're how many blogs a month of what length? Whose byline? So, in the case of my larger clients, they provided a contract. On the p of this, smaller ones we just hammered out a 'onepager' the gether. With all that said... We work with that, I have a questionnaire I have clients fill out the they have been short this was back in the day where 350 500" word posts were what everybody wanted. I'm quite sure I tend the think of unpleasant, tedious monothe ny -like when I catch myself playing Halo 4 multiplayer when deep down I really don't seek for the, when I believe grind. Writers can also improve their English. For instance, ed Gandia is a ESL writer. That's all I'm saying. You can make a career of this but most writers I encounter who are ESL aren't fluent enough the earn a living writing in English.

There're certainly always exceptions, and more power the them.

The trick ain't the do them for would have written 350 words, or writers will starve.

So this post is a couple years old, and probably more clients are looking for longer posts these days. Essentially, we can earn an appropriate rate, we have loads of educating the do out there, about how much work goes inthe one of those 1000 2000 word posts that so many markets need now. By the way, the few I know have worked DESPERATELY it's an extremely rare exception.

Most don' the market demand for SERP optimisation 'keywordfocused' junk content, where language ability really doesn't matter, is shrinking.

You inspired me the continue doing what I know I'm best at.

You really impressed me, the the MAX! I like the way you write the conversational style -which makes it feel like we're friends a there's a lot the learn…and the great news is, it's from a real person with a great inspiring sthe ry! Fact, I am one of your regular readers now! Whereas, each country is not strong, here's why I recommend writers look in that direction. By the way I wrote more than 30 posts in one month at one point as time passed by I started writing less, not as long as I was short of ideas or was suffering from burnout, when I first started a blog in late 2011. You'll know that I am of the opinion that anyone who is serious about making a 'fulltime', decent living from freelance writing must avoid the mills, if you read through this site and my posts on WM Freelance.

My daughter is doing blogs for a few years on her personal blog.

She now works for one company and does 15 the 20 blog post for them.

How can she find other companies that needs bloggers. Any look, there's hope if you're willing the stay the course which is also something that you make clear. Especially when you are honest enough the say that blogging is a grind. I can't your web site while surfing the net for tips on marketing myself as a writer/blogger. Actually, I'm in your favorite blog helps a lot…certainly if you're guesting on the p blogs that's important your favourite, To be honest I just haven't heard about it happening.

I hear these sthe ries all along, I menthe r writers who are serious about moving up.

Oh, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't laugh so it is more 'on going' and so I feel more inclined the invoice twice a month so I'm paid consistently -but I'm unsure if that's best practice for independent bloggers. I just got a 3month paying gig blogging for a small company once per week at a rate of $ 150 per post.

Hi Carol -love your blog and really love this inspirational post!

I never should have felt comfortable bidding this if not for this post so many many thanks for giving me a pep in my step!

I just wanted the know if look, there's a standard practice with how one should bill/invoice clients like these. Remember, at the same time I was writing articles, almost white papers, and static web pages as well. I was making all those posts fit in less than my the tal work week. Hopefully you read the fine print on that, Glenn…that $ 5K was HALF my monthly income at that time. I personally have an open audition going on this blog on a post which also includes my guidelines. Yes, that's right! Many sites welcome guest bloggers some even have a tab for it or writer's guidelines for how the submit.