#(we aren't really yet after pandemic

[hobnob2020]

The Veilguard review

Big spoilers ahead for the people that haven't finished the game yet.

So after plugging 70+ hours I've finally completed Veilguard.

This will just be a general overview of how I felt about the game, I'll likely do a separate one for Solas/Mythal and Lavellan and one for a Lucanis romance.

First off I want to say that any negative criticism I had for the game I am reminded of how difficult this game was to get off the ground running in the first place; it experienced multiple layoffs, it pulled the team to focus on Anthem when it failed, the team was reduced, OG writers left and multiple people lost their jobs once their work was complete and lets not forget those that worked on this during a pandemic so I think it's important to keep coming back to this so that we can just appreciate what we had as an end product.

Now the end product itself, did I enjoy it? absolutely.

I've laughed, I've been giddy, I've been angry at times and in those final moments was reduced to tears that reconciliations were reached and it was the end of a very long 10 year wait.

I want to start from the beginning where we welcomed our Rooks because holy moly is the character creator detailed. I mean seriously every single Rook I've seen is a catwalk model 😂

Every faction felt different and the brief history to your character was really well done; I went with a female mage elf I the Crows and I loved being a Crow from the get go; the decision that she made that essentially forced her to leave the Crows because she'd basically f*cked up a mission was really interesting because there's still that tension once she returned with Viago (who I adored BTW, his disappointing fatherly persona against Teia's comfort and protectiveness was just perfect) and it set the course for every Rook wanting to prove themselves.

Briefly touching on the Inquisitors creation I was so happy that this was an early decision and hearing her say "it's good to see you again" was like a stab to the heart and felt like I was being welcomed back home after such a long journey.

Once into the gameplay it's hard to ignore how beautiful the graphics look, Minrathous' design was so unexpected and how the locals were treated makes me wonder how Dorian ever survived 😂

There were certain scenes that just blew me away and made me realise just how far games have come to allow us them; the moment you open the doors at Weisshaupt and see Ghilan'nains massive looming face in the clouds was just breath taking, in fact the two gods in general were very well done and there wasn't enough of them in my opinion.

The animation as a whole was very good and again compared to Origins this game is on a different level of good (hate to compare it to other games but Balders gate is probably the closest contender).

There's a particular scene with Lucanis as a romance where he walks over to you after you basically say you like what you see and that Spite doesn't define him, the way his face moves, the little smile, the way his eyes drop to your lips when you touch him floored me and I think having motion capture for this game definitely paid off.

The mechanics of the game were fantastic and as I've yet to play anything other than my mage I am excited to play other classes and possibly Warrior for the first time across 4 games, although Spellblade ruined a mage for me as I love being able to be upfront in a battle and found it perfect for my Crow mage.

I went with purple Rook for this playthrough as I wanted a charming Crow who had far too much energy and was awkward in the best way possible and loved every minute of it; Bioware has always been very clever at establishing the different personalities and how they affect the world around them. Going into a scene and having your Rook react by themselves depending on their personality makes the character feel real and that we aren't just following the same thread of dialogue.

When you first meet Solas they didn't lie that it would feel like an end game mission, the dialogue was fantastic, his voice actor is just incredible and he has a talent to be confident, insecure, determined and doubtful of his own words all in one and it was very easy to fall In love with Solas during inquisition.

I really enjoyed how the first decision you make as Rook ends with the gods escaping, either Harding or Neve being injured which puts doubts in your friendship and leadership from the beginning, that Solas who we'd believed to be the big bad was essentially trapped and looked like a kitten compared to these evil beings who want world domination, it really makes the player question how are we going to fix this massive mistake that we've created, because it takes the gods no time to get to work whilst we scramble to find a team and cleanse multiple parts of Thedas at the same time aswell as setting up base in the fade where we dig deep into the history of Solas and the ancient gods past.

The companions of this game I felt were individuals in their own ways with their own back stories and present problems but I felt as a whole weren't as good as say the previous game; there was no double crossing mages or people with their own greed and agendas, no hidden pasts like Blackwall which personally fell abit flat for me.

In fact I'd say the only one who had an interesting story was Lucanis after his imprisonment and demonic possession and the struggles that came with it.

I don't think I'll romance anyone else other than Emmrich as the others just don't interest me.

It just felt like you were constantly flitting to the Lighthouse and back to grind out companion tasks in order to gain approval and faction points, there was no option to just have a conversation like previous games instead it was very much on their terms and where you were in the game which was something i really missed.

Still, their personalities were very different and characters like Lucanis, Taash and especially Emmrich stole my heart very quickly.

The banter was top notch quality as per 👌 some of my favourites were from Taash and Lucanis, just being a Crow in the middle of their conversations about capes was hilarious at times.

The voice acting as a whole was very good, I felt with some characters particularly Neve it felt abit flat in moments but Bioware have a knack for finding talented voices; having someone as bubbly and excited as Bellara to the deadpan and slightly blunt at times Taash made for a very diverse team.

Returning characters was always a welcome and there were some surprising cameos such as Isabella in the Lords of Fortune faction.

I know alot of people were disappointed that this game felt limited in bringing over past choices but it needed to make sense; Sera isn't going to return and be found in the deep roads etc, it needed to serve a purpose to The Veilguards story and I'm happy with the ones we did get.

When it came to the three decisions from inquisition yes I was disappointed at first; why are we ignoring who drank from the well, why aren't we talking about Hawke, who's ruling Fereldon, who's Divine?.

I think we need to remember that after 4 games the decisions from little to big are so vast that there's simply no way to fit it all in and satisfy everyone and baring in mind this game is for new players too.

Having this game set outside of Ferelden means those decisions won't carry weight in Veilguard, who is divine won't affect us, where Hawke is doesn't affect us because we know they'll either be in the fade or fighting against the evil.

And yes a codex could of helped address any of this but again, it's a smaller team now at bioware and the focus is on Rook this time around, it's their turn and tbh reading codex' is time consuming when you've got gods to fight 😂

The only decision I really wanted brought over was who drank from the Well because as a Solasmancer he was so pissed at me but I think I know why it was glossed over.

I think having Solas being able to control your Inquisitor would have the issue of consent and violation and as a romance that doesn't feel right, especially given how Mythal basically manipulated Solas and used him as a slave it just goes into uncomfortable territory.

We could also argue that Solas absorbed Mythals essence so all that's left is her memories and the tiny fragment you find in the crossroads so essentially Mythal ceases to exist thus there's no pledge anymore for the inquisitor and that she only needed her help to fight Corypheus, who knows but I'm glad Solas wasn't able to do that to the Inquisitor.

The endgame was amazing, finally killing Ghilan'nain was so satisfying and Lucanis was an absolute bad ass doing it, seeing Solas become the dreadwolf and hearing his pained cries was heartbreaking even if he couldn't stop betraying my Rook 😂.

Forcing you as a player to lose a character despite high factions and hero status was brutal, and I unfortunately lost both Davrin and Assan. As much as I loved them both, it made sense to his character to die in that way, and Harding has so much more to do for the dwarves and titans.

I'll talk about Solas/Mythal and Lavellan on another post but I was very happy with how it ended, seeing the art concept of him making himself tranquil just shows how differently it could of gone, and I honestly expected them to die in each other's arms.

If I think of anything else I'll add it onto this post but yeah, 10 years man and it's over, well not over completely as I'm creating an Emmrich romance as we speak but I can't believe years of speculation and doubt is now in our hands forever.

Yes this game could of been better in parts and blew my expectations away in others but I loved it and I think the negative criticism over characters like Taash, the three previous decisions, crazy solasmancers which bring the team down is so unjust and people need to reflect on themselves as humans.

All I would say to those that critic this game as heavy as they have is to take their time and play it again, you'll find things you missed the first time around, really read the codex', just sit back and understand what the characters are saying, read between the lines and just take it back to beginning of this post, this game very nearly didn't happen and alot of talented people that have given you this game have lost their jobs so please just be grateful for what we do have and pray that this isn't the end of dragon age.

Edit:

The whole Varric thing was probably my least favourite thing about the game, not because he died but it just didn't make sense that Rook didn't know until the very end.

I had my suspicions because he was always tired and going back to bed and something about it didn't feel right.

For other companions to say "oh we thought you knew" was just silly, I could understand Solas using his powers to create an illusion but why not on all the companions because surely Rook at some point was like "Oh i'll take some food to Varric" or "have you been to visit him", without that Rook just sounds crazy 😂

[lovelytsunoda]

november rain // lance stroll

when I look into your eyes, i can see a love restrained but darlin' when I hold you, don't you know I feel the same? (..) if we could take the time to lay it on the line, i could rest my head just knowin' that you were mine, all mine so if you want to love me then darlin' don't refrain, or I'll just end up walkin' in the cold november rain

summary: after four long years and one pandemic cancellation, it's finally time for y/n and lance to return home to mount tremblant and tie the knot.

pairing: lance stroll x newlywed! reader

warnings: co*kwarming, so much implied smut and sexual innuendo and i'm not sorry, weddings, they are so painfully in love it is sickening. a dad who doesn't quite get the jewish traditions but is doing his best. also i googled a lot of the jewish wedding traditions so im not sure they're 100% completely accurate tbh

inspo: wedding dress, lance's suit, welcome sign, the arch, getaway car

ten months to the wedding.

it was a calm, quiet afternoon in the ranch house. lance was asleep, desperate for a nap after his afternoon cardio session with his trainers, and y/n was in her home office, laptop out in front of her as her manicured fingers dragged tabs around the homescreen, a pinterest board full of white dresses open on her phone. the couple's two year old golden retriever was sitting under the desk, resting his head against her lap.

"you're going to be the best ring bearer, aren't you, boy?" she giggled to herself, carding her fingers through whistler's fur as she looked back at the wedding blog open on her screen. whistler licked her fingertips, almost as if the dog was agreeing with her.

15 jewish wedding traditions you should know about.

"hey, baby." lance spoke softly, rubbing sleep out of his eyes as he ambled into the office, hair messy and shirt wrinkled from his nap. "what are you up to?"

"just some wedding stuff." she replied, getting up from her desk chair to wrap her arms around her lover, whistler padding along beside her as lance reached down to scratch the dog behind the ears.

"are you looking up jewish weddings?" lance asked, lips against the crown of her head. "baby, you don't have to go out of your way for me."

"i want to, lance. this is your ceremony too, and it means something to me that you feel as if your faith is being represented here as well. as long as i get to wear my white dress and pick the song i walk down the aisle to, i'm not picky about anything else."

"as long as you're happy." lance smiled, leaning down to kiss her, fingers lacing with hers as their lips danced gently together. "have you picked a song yet."

y/n groaned, tipping her head back. "you're going to laugh at me."

lance laughed. "no, i'm not! just tell me, darling."

"well, i wanted to walk down the aisle to 'november rain'. it just has a lot of special meaning for me. it's one of the songs that made me believe in love." she admitted, meeting lance's eyes.

"if november rain is what you want, that's what we'll play. have you picked a dress?"

y/n grinned, nuzzling further into lance's chest. "a few contenders have emerged. but it's bad luck to see the dress before the wedding!"

laughing, lance swept y/n off her feet, carrying her towards the bedroom with whistler at his heels. "come on, you really don't believe in that."

"so what if i do?" she smiled, cradling his face with the hand sporting her stunning diamond ring as she placed her on the king sized bed.

"then i guess i'm just going to have to keep fantasizing about that tight white fabric, hugging all the right places." lance teased, his lips grazing the skin on her neck.

"you do that, loverboy. because you don't get to see my dress until i'm coming down that aisle."

"and then i get to take it off you, right?" lance smirked, kissing her on the forehead. "because god, i have had thoughts about what we're going to do that night."

the bed dipped next to them, whistler's wet nose nudging at y/n's nose as she burst out into giggles, lance groaning as he flopped down on the bed, carding his fingers through whistler's fur.

"whistler, my guy, you don't need to be such a cockblock." lance laughed, patting the dog's side.

"baby, this is what you signed up for when we adopted him. you've had two years to get used to this." y/n giggled in turn, gently shooing the dog off of her bed.

"whistler, c'mere buddy." lance clapped his hands and signaled for the dog, lumbering clumsily off the bed. "i just want twenty minutes of alone time, buddy. go play with your raccoon toy."

he continued to attempt to bride the dog as he guided whistler out of the room, gently closing the door as the golden retriever left with his stuffed toy.

"twenty minutes, huh?" y/n joked, taking off her shirt. "you really think you're that good?"

"baby, please. you know that i can have you screaming my name in ten." lance's voice was husky as he leaned over her, pressing her body back against the pillows.

he kissed her deeply, running his tongue along the seam of her mouth as she moaned into his touch, bucking her hips up into his, feeling his erection grow inside his jeans.

"i love you." he said softly, his hands caressing her bare sides. "i can't wait to get married."

five months before the wedding.

"ladies, i think i've found the dress!" y/n giggled, pushing through the dressing room curtains and performing a little spin, the white satin fabric swirling around her bare legs. "this is the one."

"babes, you look stunning!" christa, her high school best friend and maid of honor cheered, raising her champagne glass. christa and her boyfriend bruce had gotten married during the pandemic, much to the disapproval of her greek family, who were expecting a large, flamboyant wedding.

as the wedding seemed to approach faster and faster, y/n and lance had both decided to go shopping for big day outfits on the same day. y/n, however, was pretty sure that lance only came up with that plan because he wanted to sneak a peak at his bride before the big day (and to grab more material of the love of his life for his spank bank while he was at it).

the dress would need a few alterations, currently pinned to her body with wooden clothespins, but when she looked at herself in the mirror, cream fabric hugging her body, the large slit up the side of the dress, she knew that this was the dress she was going to get married in.

"bestie, your phone is ringing." helena, her college roommate, shouted from the sitting room where they had all left their bags. "i think it's loverboy!"

y/n laughed, extending her hand. "bring the phone here, hell."

lancey💍would like to facetime.

chuckling to herself, y/n flicked to a regular phone call and ducked back into the changeroom. outside, helena and christa exchanged looks.

"were you trying to steal a look at me in my dress?" y/n laughed, sitting down on the fitting room's ottoman. "baby, i thought you were smarter than that."

"i hoped you wouldn't realize it was a facetime call at first. not even a peek?" lance asked hopefully.

"not a chance. i think i've found the one, though. it's cream coloured, and tight fitting, contoured to all the best spots." she said with a smile, knowing that lance would be working himself up on the other end of the line. "off the shoulder with a big slit going up the leg."

lance exhaled, and she could just picture the blush rising in his cheeks. "and i don't even get a look with a visual like that? come on now baby, that's just cruel."

"how goes the suit shopping."

"so, it turns out that pastels are on trend this year and i don't know how i feel about that. i had mick take some pictures for me, i'm sending them through now. unlike you, i actually want my spouse's opinion." lance said teasingly. "i'm leaning towards the mint green, team spirit and all, but let me know what you think."

her phone buzzed in her hand, seven pictures taken by mick schumacher sliding into her inbox. she smiled to herself as she flicked through, looking at her fiancé's dorky poses and looks of pure disgust at the mustard yellow suit esteban had insisted he try on.

"you're right, go with the mint green. it goes with the theme, too."

she could practically hear the smile on lance's face as he responded. "i thought you'd say that. right, if we've both got things picked out, i take it you'll be home soon?"

"an hour, maybe an hour and a half. i still have to buy the wedding lingerie as well, you know."

"oh, baby, don't say that when i'm out with my friends." lance groaned. "now i'm hard in a suit that's not mine."

y/n couldn't stop herself from laughing at that one as she took a sip of the champagne. "that's your own fault. so i take it you don't want me to ask what kind of lingerie you want me to buy?"

"something white, lacy and expensive. my dad is paying for half of the wedding, so money is no issue, babes. really, i want you to treat yourself. i know the wedding has been stressing you out lately."

"you try planning the happiest day of your life." y/n chuckled. "i can't wait to get home, if i'm being honest. as great as looking for dresses has been, this morning has been exhausting."

"i'll run a warm bath for you, order takeout from that place on main that you like. i think i know just how to ease those nerves of yours." lance suggested, a seductive tone in his voice that had y/n biting her lip.

"that plan wouldn't happen to involve cotton sheets and bath and body works lotion, would it?" she teased, knowing that every long, erotic night with her fiancé usually started with a massage and ended with a few orgasms.

"uh, yeah, of course it does. how else am i going to get rid of this little problem? seriously, babe, i am out in public."

"what are you going to do about it, big boy? spank me?" she joked, having fun imagining just how red her lover probably was right now.

"i haven't made up my mind yet, pretty girl." lance teased. "maybe i will, maybe i won't. you'll just have to wait and see, yeah?"

"i look forward to it. i've gotta go if i want to be done shopping by dinner. i love you, lance."

"love you more, y/n. see you when you get home."

the night before the wedding.

it was just after midnight when y/n slipped out of her hotel room, forgoing shoes as her mismatched socks padded along the hotel carpet. helena and christa were fast asleep, and y/n found herself tossing and turning as her separation anxiety kicked in.

she counted room numbers in her head before she stopped and knocked gently on the door, hands in the back pockets of her jeans as she waited for the door to open.

“you just couldn’t stay away, could you?” lance stroll joked, opening the hotel room door. he was wearing nothing on his top half, his lower body covered in nothing but a pair of montreal canadiens flannel pants.

part of him had known that y/n would find her way back to him before the wedding started. she never had been great at being on her own.

“we both know im not as tough as I pretend to be.” she quipped back, wrapping her arms around her husband-to-be. “I missed you.”

lance smiled against her skin as he placed a gentle kiss on her neck. “come inside, pretty girl. let me run a bath. the bathroom window has a great view of the city.”

y/n closed the door behind her as the couple made their way to the large bathroom, lance filling the large jacuzzi tub with warm, bubbly water as his fiancée undressed. she slipped into the bath alongside her lover, humming in contentment at the feeling of lances body against hers.

“you couldn’t sleep either?” y/n asked, sighing into his arms as lance put his arms around her torso, gently kissing her cheek.

“nah, I was watching the game. its not the same trying to fall asleep without you.”

“now who’s the cheesy one?” she giggled, splashing her lover as he moved his hands, beginning to massage her shoulders softly. “I love you.”

“love you more.” lance hummed as he kissed the back of her head. “how’d you get out of your room anyways? I thought the bridal guard would have you on lockdown. for the sake of tradition, and all that shit.”

“theyre asleep. I snuck out, used pillows to make it look like i was still in my bed. how was the bachelor party?”

lance laughed, pulling his fiancée closer. “I dont know if you could call the hockey hall of fame and whalburgers a bachelor party, but I had a good time.”

“you got a weekend in toronto and all I got was pottery painting and mocktails?” y/n joked, her hand trailing up lances thigh. “im glad you had a good time. I did too.”

with her back pressed up against his chest, y/n dragged her hand further up his thigh and upwards towards his member, wrapping her nimble fingers around his shaft.

“baby, not right now." lance whispered, concern in his tone as he unwrapped his arms from the woman in front of him "what’s bothering you, pretty girl? you get needy like this when something is getting to you and you don't know how to say it out loud.”

she sighed, retracting her hand and linking her fingers with his. “i'm just nervous about tomorrow. scared, I think.”

lance's expression softened. he shifted in the tub, trying to turn y/ns body so that they were sitting across from each other, both her hands in his.

“its not too late to elope if you dont want to do this anymore, love. I can call chloe and she can drive us down to city hall. just the two of us, no stress, no fuss. I just want you to be happy, y/n.”

"no, lance. everybody is already here and i've been dreaming of this moment since i was thirteen. i want to do this. it just scares the shit out of me. it's like when i slept with you for the first time, you have to remember that."

lance laughed, using one damp hand to rake his hair back. "if anything, i was more nervous than you were. because i knew that if i fucked that up, i could have lost you for good. i swear, i would have given up on sex if you never felt comfortable enough with me to do it, i just knew i wanted you in my life."

"and now look at us." y/n hummed, kissing lance's knuckles. "i'm just scared that something is going to go really really wrong tomorrow."

"listen to me baby, here's what's going to happen. you are going to walk down that aisle tomorrow in your gorgeous dress with your parents on either side of you, and 'november rain' playing in the background, and i promise that i will be waiting for you at the altar. i'll also probably be crying from how stunning you look and how surreal this moment is, but i will be right next to you the entire time, okay?"

"promise me you aren't going anywhere?"

"i promise." lance said, leaning over to kiss her before stepping out of the tub and wrapping his well-built frame in a plush hotel towel. he extended a hand for his lover, lifting her out of the tub bridal-style. "now, you and me are going to curl up in bed, watch the last two episodes of 'the night agent', and not think about anything wedding related."

y/n smiled, feet firmly back on the ground before she raised her arms and allowed her fiancé to wrap the towel around her body. "i like that idea."

dried off and wrapped in a silk hotel bathrobe, y/n curled up underneath the comforter. she gently swept her hand across the bed spread to flick off the crumbs, frowning at lance as he redressed in his hockey flannels and joined her in bed.

"i leave you alone for one night and your bed is filled with crumbs?"

"sorry," lance shrugged, a small blush on his cheeks. "force of habit. can't watch the game without a bag of miss vickie's."

rolling her eyes, y/n reached for his laptop, waking up the dark screen before closing the tsn app and opening netflix.

"baby, your skin is freezing." lance remarked, pressing soft kisses to the skin on her shoulders. "look, you've got goosebumps. do you want me to turn down the air con?"

with a cheeky look on her face, y/n turned to look at him. "i can think of another, much more fun way to get warmer."

"oh, you want me to warm you up with my cock, is that it?" lance hummed, gently slipping a hand underneath the hem of the white robe. "baby, if you let me have my way with you tonight, you won't be able to walk down that aisle tomorrow."

"we don't have to do anything. i just want to feel you."

and how could lance say no when she asked with those eyes, with that voice? she hummed in content as he slipped inside her glistening folds, readjusting the blankets around their conjoined bodies as she pressed play on the next episode.

"i love you, lancelot." she hummed, turning her head to press a kiss to the tip of his nose. "i can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you."

"i love you too, y/n. now, get some rest, darling. if you fall asleep, i'll stop the episode so you don't miss anything, yeah?"

the wedding.

"ladies, i'm going to be real with you, i'm scared out of my mind." y/n laughed nervously, smoothing out the front of her dress while christa fussed with her hair.

christa and helena were not fools: they knew that y/n had snuck out of her hotel room to meet up with lance, but neither of them could fault her for that. christa knew firsthand that y/n had been so scared that she would never fall in love, never have her moment in a white dress, and she wasn't going to stop y/n from being with lance, even if it was just for a night.

that being said, nerves were high on the morning of the wedding, and y/n had to be talked down more than once so that she would be ready to walk down the aisle.

and now that moment was finally here. she walked out of the dressing room to meet with her parents, who would be walking down the aisle with her, as per jewish tradition. lance had gone down the aisle moments earlier with claire-ann and lawrence beside him.

"you're going to do just great, kiddo." y/n father said, pulling her in for a hug. "but remind me what i'm supposed to do once i get up there."

"you're going to stand across from lawrence, diagonally from claire-ann in place of the bridal party. all you have to is stand there, and once the rabbi has said 'you may kiss the bride', shout 'mazel tov' with everybody else."

mr. y/l/n nodded, gripping his daughter's hand. "i'm so proud of you, honey. you picked a good man, and i love that he makes you so so happy."

the bars to 'november rain' began to play, and y/n took a deep breath before she walked into the banquet hall with her parents. her hands were shaking, and she tried not to look around and notice how many people were in the room.

she would celebrate with them all later.

she tried not to think about anything as she stepped up the small wooden stairs (not many steps, just three) to the altar. lance stood underneath the arch of roses (they'd decided against the traditional jewish canopy, but would have their parents stand at the four corners in principle), looking dashing in his mint green suit. he was restless, messing with the white rose on his lapel before wiping at his eye.

"were you crying?" y/n giggled quietly, reaching for her husband's hand

"what, no." lance laughed. "there's gotta be some pollen in here or something."

"good, because if you cry, i'll cry."

weeks, even months later, if you had asked y/n what the rabbi had said during the ceremony, she probably wouldn't have been able to tell you, even though the entire thing had been videotaped for the happy couple. the entire world narrowed down to that altar, to her and lance.

the love of her life.

"i now pronounce you husband and wife."

"mazel tov!"

"too soon, dad!"

"sorry love, carry on!"

TAGS:

@starsanova @magnummagnussen @diorleclerc @sidcrosbyspuck @daydreamingleclerc @libraryofloveletters

[genericpuff]

The LO TV show isn't happening, and here's why.

Now, before I begin, courtesy to /u/Princess_Space_Goose because they're one of the driving forces behind these observations concerning stuff in the entertainment sector and they were the first ones to make a comprehensive post about it over on reddit shortly after we got into it in the Discord and compiled everything we knew. But I also REALLY wanna talk about this and I'm surprised to see I haven't yet. They've covered reddit, so I'm covering Tumblr LMAO

Disclaimer: Long post ahead. Much of what I say below is speculation but there's a lot of damning evidence to support it. Take it with grains of salt.

Rachel has vague-posted about the show a couple times over the past few years, but very sparingly so, always stating that it's "in the works" without anything to actually show for it. This would have been fine back in 2020 or even 2021 (the pandemic did bring a lot of television/movie development to a crawl) but we're over halfway through 2023 now.

So where's the show? Who's running it? What is it gonna look like? Which streaming service is it going to be hosted on?

We literally do not know any definitive answers to these questions because nothing has been revealed and at this point in the game, that's basically a death sentence. LO has been on a noticeable decline in stats over the past year, while we obviously can't access the backend numbers (and neither can Rachel as far as I know because WT guards them with an iron fist which is a whole other topic for discussion) it's still very clear by the comic's rating slowly but surely dropping and the like count average lowering (obv the like count isn't indicative of view count but if the ratio has remained the same, that means if the like count lowers, the viewership is likely lowering too). There's also been certain behavior from WT over the past year that hints at the comic not doing well, such as its VERY aggressive ad campaigning which often undercuts other series on the platform that are far better than LO and deserve the spotlight, but lose it anyways because WT just wants to keep its golden goose on life support even after its heart has stopped beating.

So the fact that we don't know the answers to these questions still after 4 years is NOT good. We don't know anything and while that was excusable 3 years ago, at this point, it's more indicative of the project being at a standstill or dropped completely, and what we dug up and discussed in the ULO Discord (and what was later posted to reddit) proves it with some very telling information dissected from LinkedIn and other sources.

So far, the only people we know connected to this project are Rachel Smythe (the creator of LO) and Stephanie K Smith (the appointed showrunner). Showrunners are the lifeblood of television series, remember this. Here's a little bit about her:

Lore Olympus still doesn't have a network, this means it has no definitive spot to air, which is not good at this point, because the network is what primarily funds these projects. Think of "Netflix shows" - they're not necessarily made by Netflix, they're made by studios that Netflix funds and as such they're given the Netflix branding because Netflix is their proprietary distribution network and benefactor. So LO has no network or streaming service funding its production. All of her other credited works have affiliated networks/distributors, but LO doesn't.

"But what about Jim Henson Company?" Jim Henson Company bought the rights to LO in 2019 to produce it, that doesn't necessarily mean they were onboard to fund the entire project. Again, these studios need networks to back them, not just for monetary purposes, but with the promise that their project will have a place to go when it's finished, whether it's Netflix, HBO, etc. Think of it like a movie theater - the movie theaters aren't the ones making the movies, but they have deals with the studios to air those movies with the agreement that both sides will be making money.

Jim Henson Company is a production studio, not a network. Not only that, but they're primarily for-hire for puppetry/animatronic projects, they're not the same kind of studio as, say, Laika, or Disney, or Warner Bros. Much of their work is done on the backend, creating animatronics and puppets for kids' productions, monster movies, etc. Currently they're working as the animatronic designers for Five Nights at Freddy's, but that movie isn't a JHC movie, it's a Blumhouse production, which has hired JHC to create animatronics for them.

So, the fact that they were the ones to buy out LO for production rights is... very odd. Because for starters, they don't tend to buy out production rights like major studios, they're typically for hire, but they're also not an animation studio. Any animation projects they've worked on were for concept art and design, such as Word Party, but the folks at JHC primarily specialize in conceptualization and practical effects. That's their whole shtick, it's what they're selling, it's what they get hired for.

That's all early stuff though, stuff we've been speculating on for ages. What came to light recently that spurred on this whole essay was discovering this one section on Stephanie K's LinkedIn:

There are a couple things we can glean from this. First, we know this has to be LO even if it isn't being named, because LO is the only one that was bought by JHC.

This also confirms that LO did end up with a distribution network, specifically HBO Max.

But it also confirms that Stephanie K Smith, the showrunner, is no longer on the project, either due to willingly quitting or being removed. According to the time stamps, she left in April of this year.

This is especially not good because without a showrunner, there's no leader. Showrunners are essential to these projects. So without a showrunner, and without any sort of announcement of a replacement, LO's television show is a ship without a captain, a car without a driver, a Hell's Kitchen without a Gordon Ramsay.

There's mention of an "animated presentation" but as mentioned in that reddit post above, that's not necessarily a pilot, it's more likely it was this. Which can't even really be called "animation", it's just video editing, rigging and tweening, but I digress.

There's a lot more in that reddit thread that dives into some of the details of Stephanie K's stuff, including the HBO Max affiliation and how that potentially connects to the Sydney Sweeney trailer, but ultimately, all of these breadcrumbs add up to one of two things:

LO's television show is in severe development hell which it likely will not come out of for quite some time, especially right now with both the writer's strike and streaming services gutting their animation connections.

LO's show isn't happening at all but with LO's numbers declining and its audience growing more fed up with the series (look no further than the comments on Instagram about LO's recent Eisner win, people are PISSED) Rachel and WT are trying to do as much damage control as possible by dangling a carrot in front of the audience they have left in the hopes that they'll stick around long enough on the promise of a TV show happening to keep siphoning cash and views. After all, there are two things many readers are still sticking around for - the SA plotline, and the TV show, and both of those things are being unnecessarily dragged out in the vaguest way possible with no real resolution in sight.

Neither of these are good, but I think what's even more telling is that, since that post was made on reddit, Rachel has attended SDCC and taken part in a new interview from Girl Wonder Podcast, and when asked about the show, all she had to say was this:

"Um, it’s been really interesting. It’s been educational for me. So, what I—what has been done so far is beautiful. Like, if I could share it, I would. But I can’t. Because it’s very naughty."

IDK if the "naughty" bit is referring to the show or just her revealing info about it, but the fact that NOTHING was shown at SDCC is just. Y'all, I'm sorry, but the show is not happening. If you're gonna show off previews for television ANYWHERE, it's SDCC. It's like the E3 of comics and entertainment media. So the fact that she's STILL VAGUE-POSTING ABOUT IT EVEN AT A MAJOR EVENT WHERE IT'S COMMONPLACE TO REVEAL TRAILERS AND PREVIEWS OF NEW PROJECTS, like... it's just not happening. Jim Henson Company bought the rights to produce LO as a TV show in the summer of 2019. Since then, we haven't seen a SHRED of news, if you google "Lore Olympus TV show" it'll still be the same 2-3 articles from 2019 talking about JHC buying the rights and that's it. If you do further sleuthing, all you'll find is Rachel saying "yeah it's still happening but I can't say anything!" which means fucking nothing at this point. The only 'hope' I have left is that they'll announce it at NYCC which has Rachel in a top billing spot in its advertising, but I'm really not holding my breath at this point.

Animated productions take a while, sure, but LO wasn't the only comic bought for TV production in that late 2010's/early 2020's era. Heartstopper was bought in 2019, and it made it to Netflix by April 2022. And it was live action, a medium SEVERELY affected by the pandemic, unlike animation, which wasn't affected as much because a lot of animation development can be done from home. What did affect the animation sector was streaming services like Netflix gutting their connections to animation studios and putting animated projects on the chopping block... which also doesn't bode well for LO.

It's 2023 now and we still don't even have anything beyond those initial announcement articles and Rachel making empty promises. It's not happening. Don't fall for the "it's coming soon but I can't say anything" nonsense. It's far less genuine now than it was 3 years ago and it has nothing to support those claims that it's actually in development, and ironically far more to support mere speculation that she's lying or doing damage control.

And, if it actually is happening, on a shred of belief in that being a possibility, then it sure as shit isn't being marketed well. Knowing how to build hype in a product is an entire course of knowledge. Marvel is practically the king of building hype, they're why people sit until the very end of the credits now in the hopes of seeing an after-credit scene, even in movies that aren't made by them. LO's numbers are bleeding right now, so to not show anything at even the major events like SDCC is a blatant misfire. Almost like there isn't anything to show in the first place.

You can take all of this evidence as you will. Some of it you may dismiss as "overthinking" or whatever have you. And a lot of it is speculation based on the crumbs we've picked up along the way.

But let me pose you this as a final thought: how can it be a good sign when everything being asked about the show, by fans and critics alike, comes down to "Is the show still happening?"

The best time to reveal proof of the LO television show was 3 years ago. The second best time is now.

[lay-z]

the daughter and the huntsman | 1

captain j. price x female!reader

Summary: While most of what is left of society keeps fighting and trying to adapt to the new world order, some people are still desperately trying to fix things. Wrapped up in all of this mess as one of the best combatants left, Captain Price gets assigned a very special mission.

Warnings/Info: Zombie Apocalypse AU | 18+ | strangers to lovers; age gap; cussing; horror; blood/gore; eventual smut; angst; suspense; hurt/comfort; dark!content; canon-typical violence; multiple POV's

☠️ 》 Masterlist

》 This story is set in the same universe/timeline as my other CoD story 'knights in shining tactical gear'!

The Captain listens intently, sitting in his large office chair with his arms crossed in front of his chest and his legs crossed at his ankles while Kate Laswell briefs him on the latest status of the global pandemic from the safety of her office on the other side of the world.

Dead people rising and coming back to live only to become mindless cannibals craving human flesh by all means.

It's not something John has ever believed possible, no matter the horrors he's seen and experienced during his military career. Still, every known government keeps vehemently denying ever experimenting with biological weapons. Even though the proof is right in front of everyone's eyes, roaming every capital's city street.

Well, maybe the politicans aren't lying after all, no matter how shady and corrupt they are. It doesn't seem like anyone was prepared for this disaster. Everyone is equally screwed nowadays.

"You hear what I'm saying, John?"

John blinks a few times as his vision focuses back on the pixelated computer screen in front him. Perhaps he isn't paying as much attention as he should be.

"I'm uh -"

He sighs in defeat and rubs his calloused hands over his tired face. Not being able to sleep nor rest in the past 28 hours is slowly starting to show an effect, even on him.

"Could you repeat the last...uh part?"

Meanwhile, Kate shakes her head with that certain look of disappointed judgment yet compassionate understanding. His mother used to give him a similar one and it always hit John right in the gut.

"You should get some sleep and consider that an order, Captain. Surviving off cigars, black coffee, and rage can only take you so far and we still need you over there"

John snorts as he just wanted to reach for his cold cup of black coffee standing right out of frame. He stops mid-move and crosses his arms again with a shrug.

"Eh, could be worse. Ya know what sorts of stuff and blokes I've survived before. 'Tis little virus is nothing", he says with a nonchalant shrug.

Kate clicks her tongue, shaking her head again.

"Oh, but it is. It's even worse than we've ever imagined. Two weeks, give or take, and most societies and governments around the world will have failed"

"Haven't they already", John mutters under his breath then cranks his stiff neck from left to right until the muscles pop.

"Exodus. Anarchie. The imminent downfall of humanity, John. That's what I'm talking about here"

She speaks hauntingly now, enunciating every word with obvious distress and care. It's a tone he's never heard her use before, not even during past seemingly hopeless operations.

"Ya speak as if the world has ended already"

Her head drops forward, her shoulders heave and John sees that she sighs deeply while her hands stay folded as she desperately tries to keep her composure, and now he's really starting to feel bad.

"Kate?"

"Yes and no, it hasn't ended yet. Not quite yet anyways -", she finally answers coolly.

"As I was explaining before, while you were peacefully zoning out on me...With the resources we're still provided with, we've managed to gather and save the lead scientists, virologists, scholars, researchers, basically every big-brain person, and whoever we could get to come with us from all around the globe to work on a cure together"

John purses his lips and runs a hand through his wiry beard as he ponders the given intel.

"Sounds a lot like classified information to me. Something you usually wouldn't tell over a nervy, unstable internet connection"

Kate chuckles then, an out-of-character sound in this situation and she waves her hands dismissively.

"Well, usually dead people stay dead and don't come back to hunt the living"

Now John is the one to laugh.

"Touché"

A sudden knock on his office door alerts John and he straightens up in his chair before Gaz pokes his head inside the room.

"No worries, sir", the young Sargeant assures calmly. "Just wanted to inform ya that the squad is back from patrol"

"Any incidents?"

Gaz shakes his head as he enters the office and closes the door behind him.

"Is that Sargeant Garrick?", Kate asks curiously and John's focus shifts back to her as he gives a short nod.

"Well then -"

She straightens up in her chair, clears her throat, and reaches for something off-camera before she pulls up a black file.

"we might as well discuss the matters now."

"Matters? Plural?", John asks, his suspicion rising as he waves Gaz over to take up a seat across from him before he finally reaches for the cold cup of coffee. He'll definitely need more fuel to get through the rest of this briefing. Meanwhile, the Sergeant sits in one of the chairs as Kate begins to explain.

"One's an offer, the other more like a...request. The US government has organized several so-called Alpha Teams. They're comprised of nationwide special forces soldiers and we'd like them to operate globally to support and fight the outbreak in designated areas. With the help of the AT's we're trying to build and establish additional safe zones around the world -"

"I see where you're going with this, Kate", John butts in.

"I uh don't, sir", Gaz says, scratching the back of his neck.

"What I'm saying is that I'd like to recruit not only you to join one of our Alpha Teams, Sargeant Garrick, but the remaining members of the 141 as well"

The quantity of Task Force-141 has diminished drastically since word about the outbreak of an unknown virus in some remote village somewhere in the Amazon has first spread through rumors and whispers online until it turned into a full-blown pandemic within weeks.

Bloody hell, the Captain is one of the few officers left keeping the base and its inhabitants afloat. When everyone else deserted and fled, whether to go back home to keep their families and loved ones safe or because they simply couldn't handle their new reality, he stayed behind to fight for the rest of the living.

"Both Ghost and Soap are still MIA. We haven't been able to contact and regroup with either of them as of yet. Only members left on base as of now are Gaz and König, and I can't -"

"No, you're right, John. You can't.", Kate interrupts the Captain swiftly with a significant edge to her voice.

"Now, about that other request..."

Weary eyes, steel blue and framed by wrinkles as he squints, stare back at John when he glances into the rear view mirror.

Bloody hell, when did he get so old?

Worry lines.

That's what his mother would call those kind of wrinkles back in the day. A term used to make one feel better about oneself.

Worry lines, sure. They happen when you're on your own, watching your own back of necessity in a hostile environment, 24/7, and by god, John is on his own in this. Why did he agree to go on this mission again?

Oh, right, to help safe human kind. Bollocks.

He adjust his boonie hat over his forehead once more when the sun continues to reflect on the rear view mirror, blinding him.

During his travels, country roads have proven to be less blocked and risky than their highway counterpart, but accidents can happen anywhere and John is not in the mood to deal with anything going sideways now.

31 klicks.

Only 31 more klicks to Sheffield. Not that his mission ends then, no, but at least he's finally made it to the AO. A road trip of four hours, give or take depending on the traffic, has taken him six days to complete. Six fucking days. Thanks to the lack of running gas stations.

And the actual mission, a search and rescue, will only begin once he gets there.

At least Laswell was able to give him some intel, more like a clue.

"Try St. Roslin Children's Hospital first. She had just started working there when things got messy -"

Finding a needle in a haystack, that's what this mission is.

Perhaps John should knock on the woman's door first; see if she's still living in her flat before he goes out of his way to seek out a hospital which has been overrun by now most likely.

The Captain scoffs at his own thoughts but his eyes flick to the tattered map spread out on his dashboard; the location of the hospital marked and circled with red ink. Old school yet functional. He doesn't miss technology too badly.

Eventually, the warm, late summer sun gets overshadowed by the clouds chasing it since dawn, and John isn't surprised by the thick raindrops suddenly hitting the truck's windshield.

Tags: @itsasecrets-things @mildlyhopeless @ipoopedmypants47

[divineerdrick]

Games Workshop's NOVA Open Preview - Should Have Been an Email and Now I'm Worried

If you've followed me for a while you might know that I started this blog following over from another blog nearly entirely dedicated to 40K. It was last summer, 10th Edition was coming out, there were almost daily teasers and releases, and I wanted to see if I could make any meaningful commentary on it. Then I heard that Tumblr wasn't as much of a hellhole as it had become after Verizon bought them. I had been following some Tumblr Homestuck blogs and decided it was time to give the site another chance.

Side note: It is an improvement, but not much of one.

While I stopped blogging daily about 40K, I did still cover a lot of their reveal shows. I loved 40K reveal shows! I loved the commentator banter, I loved the community interaction, I loved seeing all the new things coming, and they were useful for planning out purchases.

In case you didn't know, 40K is expensive. Having advanced notice helps.

But this year, 40K changed the reveal shows. Instead of a live stream on Twitch with community interaction, the shows were changed to pretty bland prerecorded videos that are nothing but marketing hype. In almost all cases it's better to just wait on the WarCom articles than to watch the reveals now. They aren't as long-winded, you get better images of the miniatures, and it's easier to skip to what you're actually interested in. From following people who attend these live, it's even worse. You're crammed in a room with other convention attendees, just to watch movie without any meaningful interaction.

This just really sucks! I really liked the old shows. As much as hype is a weapon corporations use against us, it's fun to get hyped for something! And when you can interact directly with people from a company like this, you feel like there's a chance to get questions answered and concerns voiced. This even happened during a few of the old reveals.

But this one is just beyond the pale! After revealing some cool new Chaos Dwarfs for Blood Bowl and the new Stormcast models that will be coming out, they moved to the other systems showcased in the preview articles.

And we got nothing.

While they presented what they claimed were roadmaps, there's basically nothing to them. Each roadmap uses more text talking about what's already been released than what's going to be released. The only concrete confirmed releases are as follows:

Warhammer 40,000: Guard, Aeldari, and Imperial Knights are coming out in 2025.

Warhammer Age of Sigmar: We're getting a Death announcement SoonTM, new Spearheads for Orruks and Gitz, and supposedly something for all factions in 2025.

Warhammer The Old World: Empire and High Elves are slated for 2025.

Warhammer The Horus Heresy: Tanks! We're getting tanks, plural, in 2025! So that's at least two, possibly more, new tanks coming for the game!

Are you hyped yet?

Now, the chronologically attuned among you will notice that it is, in fact, still August. That's four whole months left of 2024. Now we have a new release and edition of Kill Team coming. We also have some previewed models that haven't been formally released yet. But even assuming that Death announcement happens before the end of the year, that's not a lot. In fact, the 40K road map specifically says, "With such a lot happening in 2024, it's time to take a breath, watch the balance, and enjoy the World Championship of Warhammer. Blood Angels end the year." While Blood Angels have not officially had their release yet, that release is imminent. That means there will be nothing 40K for 3 month.

I repeat, this road map says there are no unannounced new 40K releases in the lead up to Christmas.

So what's going on?

Let's talk about a potentially good explanation first. Games Workshop, like so many companies, saw amazing growth during the pandemic. But like all of those companies, that growth appears to have leveled off. Yeah, there are spikes in profits around new releases, especially 10th Edition, but nothing close to what they saw in 2020 or 2021. At the same time, they've been releasing new games, editions, and miniatures faster than ever before. But if they aren't bringing new customers in with these new releases, well existing customers are unlikely to want to spend even more money than they already are. And that's before we get to the blanket price increases that occurred over the last two years!

If the profits GW is seeing from new releases aren't in line with the production costs, GW might be reevaluating their release schedule. This is good new and bad news. The good news is that fans who enjoy multiple GW games and factions, like me, will have more time between releases we care about. More time to assemble, paint, and most importantly, save money. The bad news is that means some games might get left by the wayside. There are already worries that Warcry is dead. And that sucks because, in my opinion, Warcry is a better game than Kill Team.

But even if GW is going to be slowing down releases, I still can't imagine not having a faction release for their biggest game for Christmas.

So I have fears.

The most simple, and possible fear, is GW is starting to dial back on communication. This would be in line with the changes to many of their information formats, such as Warhammer Previews. This is bad. For almost a decade now, GW has been on that knife edge of being a largely neutral corporate entity. They're big enough and successful enough that they can do cool things that smaller businesses can't, all while treating their employees pretty well. But they're also big enough that their executives and investors are very obviously meddling.

And no, I'm not talking about female Custodes! That was a great decision that fits the lore and makes for a great way to expand the miniature line and community.

I'm talking about things like Warhammer+ and the negative focus it brought to fan content. I'm talking about the continued insistence on mandatory physical rule books in an age of digital media. And, of course, I'm talking about price increases and reduced model counts for already expensive products.

Up to this point, I personally felt the good and the bad have been balanced. But we've seen this kind of GW before. Before the old CEO was kicked out and Kevin Roundtree took over, GW was a silent and imposing edifice. Interactions with fans had dwindled to near nothing, and were often hostile. In many cases, kits and books were actually more expensive then than they are now, some even without inflation! It was during that time that I initially left Warhammer and didn't come back until the release of 8th Edition.

But I'm worried about something potentially worse too.

Even if GW is backsliding into old habits, and hostile investors and executives are having more sway, that still wouldn't explain not having 40K releases for Christmas! Even if we say, "Well maybe there's something going on that's delaying the release," that doesn't explain similar blank slates for their other games.

This much empty calendar in a lead up to Christmas screams reorganization. And since I don't see GW declaring Chapter 11 anytime soon, that leaves an unsettling possibility.

Buyout.

Amazon seems to have taken a keen interest in this relatively small British corporation. In addition to the planned Amazon Prime series and the short in the upcoming Next Level, there are rumors that Amazon is talking about a movie. But supposedly the Amazon Prime series stalled out in talks about the shows creative direction.

We all know what Amazon tends to do when they see a potential for profit but have a business partner they don't want to work with.

I'm probably making a mountain out of a molehill here, but that should tell you how troubled I am by this Warhammer Preview. It really bothers me. I've honestly never seen anything like it since they started pushing Warhammer Community. And it really has me worried.

[artist-issues]

Your words and your posts have been incredibly disheartening for me to see. My mother left the church. She is not an apostate, but she did question the church’s teachings in secret. She completely left faith when I was born. I have congenital heart defects, which I was born with. I nearly died on the operating table. For this reason, my mother and I do not believe in God, who is said to be all-powerful and all-benevolent. My mother is a wonderful person. She risked her life in the Covid-19 pandemic as she works at a hospital. If anyone deserved to live in an eternal paradise, it would be her. Your LGBTQ+ views have also upset me. My oldest friend, who I have known since before I could even remember, is transgender and gay, and have been more supportive to me as a disabled person than any Christian has been. I’m only 18 years old, yet I know that you chose faith over experiences with the wonderful parts of humanity. Respectfully, please reconsider your views on gay and trans people.

I truly appreciate how thoughtfully and respectfully you typed out this message. It is clear that these matters mean a lot to you and I'm going to go ahead and assume that you aren't speaking out of any kind of hate.

I would just offer you a counter-perspective, and maybe by understanding where I'm coming from, you can see that I'm not speaking out of any kind of hate for people, either. I'm half blind. I was born that way. My twin sister and I were taken by emergency cesareans-section when we were incredibly, dangerously premature. My twin was given no chance of survival; the cesarean was just meant to give me a 50% chance of survival. At the time, my mother was recently married to a 19 year-old drug dealer after her own father abused and abandoned her and her mother. She'd been living apart from the faith for years, rejecting God to follow the occult or whatever political party had hear heart at the time. My father hated God.

But when my sister and I were fighting for life for weeks on end, and nobody was sure if we would live or die, and they had to bring us home with heart monitors because our hearts would literally stop beating several times a night, my mom realized how helpless she was to do anything to save us. And she prayed. And we lived. Both of us. Not only that, but my father, at 19 years old, addicted to drugs since the age of 13, narrowly escaped death and gave his life to Christ. After a whole life of having no social skills unless he was high, doing whatever he wanted to whoever he wanted, and caring about nothing but himself, now he is a Pastor (bi-vocationally; he is also a tradesman working with his hands) and has given me and all my family, and many other families, everything we have in our lives through his dedicated and faithful life. He and my mother have been happily married and serving God with their whole lives for almost thirty years now.

And not only them, but me, my twin sister, my younger sister, my little brother, my grandfather (who was an actual killer and drug addict as well) we all know God. We all have a relationship with Him. And that's the biggest most wonderful gift He gave us, out of all those wonderful things He did for us. Saving my life, my dad's life, my twin's life, changing who they were and making them new people.

I'm not telling you all that to like, compare disabilities or traumas or whatever. That would be ridiculous for lots of reasons. But I'm just trying to be honest.

It's not a religion or a system of beliefs that I've subscribed to. It's not a social flag I live under. It's not something I do just because my parents or the people in my immediate community have shown me. It's because He's real, and He showed Himself to me—when it's just me and Him, and nobody else's opinion or say-so matters— and it's all really true—everything the Bible says. And He's so much better, and so much more benevolent, than anyone on earth can describe to you.

And, at the same time, when you understand who He is, and who we are...the question isn't "how could a good God let anyone go to Hell instead of paradise?" The question is, "how could He let any of us live after what we did?" It's hard. But seriously, just play pretend with me for a bit, if only to "understand my perspective." Pretend there was a God, all-powerful, endlessly loving, in fact, Love Itself. The love that was His very nature spilled out so much that He created—created beautiful, amazing, complex creatures who were intrinsically full of worth and light, and made to reflect Him, that Love, back to Him, and share in it. A big happy family.

And then those creatures from the dirt committed cosmic treason and said "screw You, I don't care if You created me and I don't care if You love me or want to be in relationship with me: I want to be You. I want to call the shots." And those creatures from the dirt basically did the cosmic version of climbing in their father's lap to spit in His face, and go stab each other over fleeting pleasures in the gutter because the mansions He was offering them wasn't as good as pretending they could be gods of their own lives.

That's the story. Thats what happened. Read Genesis, if you have the time and if you're of the heart to. And because of what we chose, we got twisted up. I'm sure you read that, in my posts. So even the thing we were made for—love—got mangled up inside us and we can't express it the right way anymore.

He would've been justified in wiping us out. Starting over with new creatures. We were His creation. He gets to decide what we are and what to do with us: we betrayed and insulted and defied our rightful King. But He's not like that. He had no reason to--no obligation to--but He chose to do the work and make a way for us to be back in relationship with Him. And He chose to do it by subjecting Himself to unimaginable torture and darkness, which would have been ours by right if He hadn't taken it for us.

I know that you love your mom. It is plain to see. And I understand the feeling. But if you really get to know the God of the actual Bible, instead of just the memes and the flawed people who try to explain Him—if you really get to know Him, between you and Him, you'll see that He actually loves your mom more than you do. And He loves you more than you, or anyone, does. Because He knows you both better and more intimately than you even know Yourselves. He made you. It'd be like an author getting to dive down into the story and tell their characters everything about themselves.

That's the kind of love we were made for. The kind of love that is there even though you don't deserve it, even though you're not entitled to it—the kind of love that would die for you while you're still hating Him.

I mean just stop and think about it, clear your brain of everything everyone has ever told you about LGBTQ+ and all that. And just think: can you love someone wholeheartedly and still know they're in the wrong? Even when they wholeheartedly believe they're right? Even when they're hurt by you believing they're in the wrong? Of course you can. Anyone who's had a loved one with a self-destructive habit, like alcohol addiction or an abusive lover or just a toxic personality trait or two, can relate to that common sense. They can say, "of course I love you. That's why I'm telling you to stop doing this, it's hurting you, it's not good for you, I know it doesn't feel that way, but it's the truth."

So if you believe that there are some circumstances where that applies, what makes it so unloving for this hypothetical God, who knows the best thing for your friend and knows your friend better than you do, to say so about being LGBTQ+? Why should LGBTQ+ be any different?

Well, the answer, of course, is that you don't believe it is true that it's wrong. Because, if we rewind, you don't believe in God. But you just told me that you came to that conclusion kind of...after feeling hurt by Him. You almost died, first , then your mom chose to leave Him behind and go ahead and live as if He doesn't exist. And you did, too.

But let's go back to playing pretend. If God exists, then He didn't act how you think He should've, as an "benevolent" God: He didn't do YOUR version of "good." So you abandoned Him. (We're pretending like He exists, from your perspective.) He didn't do your version of good, you feel mistreated, so you walked away from Him.

But He would never do that to you. If He's the kind of person the Bible says He is, He doesn't treat you that way. When you (humanity) didn't do His version (which is the only real version, since He invented it) of good, He didn't abandon you. He totally could have. But instead He made a way for your relationship to get fixed. But you have free will. So He's not going to force you to love Him and accept the gift. If you want to continue for all eternity without being with Him, you can. He gives you that option.

But then don't wonder why people who choose that option don't get "eternal paradise." Because according to the Bible, that's all heaven is: getting to be in relationship with God forever. Fully who He made you to be. If you don't want that, He won't force it: in fact, He couldn't. It wouldn't be just, and He is always just.

The truth is, after what we did to Him, none of us deserve anything from Him. I didn't deserve to survive in that ICU. Neither did my sister. Neither did my father or mother or grandfather. None of us should be allowed to inhale another breath; we're the King's people who betrayed Him and tried to steal His throne. But He is so good that instead He turns around and adopts us.

I know this is rambly. But you messaged me so genuinely, I just sort of wrote this as if I were sitting down and talking it all out, one word in front of the other, with you. I don't know you. I know these are very hot button topics, and very personal issues; but like you, I think they're of the utmost importance.

So I will keep considering the LGBTQ+ and transgender issues—but you have to understand that I'm in service to the King, so to speak. I love Him, He loves me, and He's my God. When I consider any part of reality, it's impossible to do so without Him as the center and standard of truth. Without Him, who gets to decide what's right or wrong? Just me. And on my own, I am inconsistent, selfish, ruinous. But I'm not on my own. And in the meantime, I'll ask you to consider God, the real God, of the Bible. Not what a church of whatever denomination tells you—not to start with. Not what I tell you, or anyone tells you. Just what He said about Himself, straight from the Bible. Let Him speak for Himself. Thanks for reaching out.

[masterj]

i'm kinda new to the chuggington fandom. i used to own the episodes on dvd but idk where they went. anyway! I figured it'd be cool to hear the thoughts of someone invested in the show, to get a new perspective on it, so i myself could become more invested! do you have any thoughts you'd share to an amateur train appreciator??

OMGOSH 👀 👀 👀 👀 👀WELCOME ABOARD!!!!! 🚅🚄🚈🚃🚂🚂🚂😄😄😄

I've been into the show since 2011-2012 I think... pretty sure before Cars 2 came out- or maybe after... memory's a bit rough in that area. I was first exposed to the show by my younger cousin who watched it on Disney Junior, or at the time, Playhouse Disney, and also had the DVD Let's Ride The Rails, which I now own, playing in my auntie's van one morning on our way to school. I would later track down Disney Junior myself to find the show.

It was pretty much the main reason I've hung around Disney Junior. As a kid who loved trains because of already being a Thomas The Tank Engine fan, it just to captured my interest so quickly and I was hooked.

I'd say the characters and designs are mostly what I love about Chuggington. While there aren't really antagonists in the show they all have their own quirks and distinction from each other which balances it out well.

Wilson is both my favorite to draw and favorite overall. While I haven't gotten to making my own scripts for my planned fanseries yet, his ADHD personality is just pure spirit animal energy when I look at how he's characterized by the show and by myself. I also relate to him to an extent in some areas. He's practically my son lol

The episodes are mostly well written, and miles better than Thomas was at the time... (*COUGH* SHARON MILLER *COUGH*)

Chris McHale's music for the show some of the most unique I've ever heard and the fact we don't have more of the show's score available in high quality than we do is a crime.

Production slowly went to hell since Season 3 onwards, due to investors pulling out for unknown reasons, resulting in S3 being cut from 26 to 14 episodes, Season 4 being rushed and strictly formulated towards the advanced training agenda, (but the episodes were not by any means terrible) and S5, while better than S4, was entirely funded by TOMY resulting in only 10 episodes. After that, Ludorum Entertainment was on the verge of bankruptcy resulting in the show being on hiatus for five years until Herschend Entertainment purchased them, but things weren't that much better.

Season 6 or Tales From The Rails is sadly where Chuggington truly dropped in quality due to Herschend's low budget and their inexperience with the show. Many characters and locations were written off and a number of the voice actor recasts were not too great. Not to mention occasional mischaracterization (mostly Brewster), continuity errors and overall rather shifty writing quality. The merchandise also plummeted in quality and the pandemic caused several delays, and this whole disaster ultimately led to Season 7 being cancelled as of November last year... 😔

While Season 6 was a failed comeback and is NOT fit to be regarded as canon to the first 5 seasons, it still has a decent number of episodes that are good to okay enough at best, and I do plan on rewriting the misfires of season 6 at some point.

Despite all the hardship this show faced, production, performance, and reception-wise, Chuggington is still very much an enjoyable and mostly solid series. I commend both Ludorum and Herschend for not going down without a fair fight and I've very much grown to love the show just as much as Thomas.

To the point where Thomas content is not my top priority anymore and hasn't been for some time now, seeing as thousands of people do Thomas content already while Chuggington content is very scarce and slow going, even with more people finally appreciating and warming up to it, since there's far worse out there nowadays... media ain't what it used to be so good f---ing luck... 😑

With all the moping and mourning aside, thank you so much for joining us, you don't know how much it means to me to have another person hyperfixating on this underated and criminally disregarded series, but it's important to remember that you don't choose the hyperfixation. The hyperfixation chooses you >:3

I am an artist, editor and headcanon writer, and slowly pushing to write up my own fanseries which takes place after S5, and I even have my own roster of original characters and locations in progress, one OC I've already revealed, and another that was actually created by a Tumblr buddy of mine, @lomotunes2008.

So make sure you follow my art account, @masterjarthub - with notifications on, cuz I may pump out surprises over there!

But for until then, welcome to The Chugger Cult! 🚂🚄🚅🚈😄😄😎😎

Enjoy your stay. 😊

[whoiwanttoday]

Today is, if you can believe it, the 12th anniversary of my blog. Which is sort of nuts because that would make me old and while my body is breaking down and I am tired all the time and it's weird how different foods bother me now that never used to, I am actually not old. My friends have largely gotten old, my family keeps getting older, yet I remain vibrant and youthful and hip and with it. It's weird. I am posting Charli XCX because in celebration of my blogiversary she announced a new album last week and released her first single and as such has been much more present in the world because that goes hand and hand with promoting a new album as a popstar. I often think about her statement that the two most important things to being a successful popstar are being young and being hot. It's that sort of thing that makes me love her, she has always had this ironic detachment mixed with metacommentary and almost satire of pop culture. Except of course, it isn't satire because it's stuff she tends to love as well. Anyway, we all know I think she's a tremendous talent and over time it seems like more and more people have come around on that, as I like to point out I got True Romance in the bargain bin but eventually I had people on discogs offering me $500 for her mixtapes. Still a cult favorite I guess but the cult is significantly bigger. Think Jonestown as opposed to those three weird dude that lived in that cul-de-sac a block away when I was a kid. Anyway, with all these anniversary I post some stats for the people who care, which is literally @femalecelebrityoftheday and @kat-eleven because he likes numbers and she likes girls, so between the two of them this picture is their ideal.

Charli has been number one since about the start of the pandemic. For years it was Kate Upton and Katy Perry changing places but what I have learned over the years is that a lot of this is a matter of, "what have you done for me lately". I didn't think it would be that way going in but largely none of us are the unique, free thinking people we think we are, we're easily influenced by the world around us and this fortunes have risen and fallen with greater popularity and to be honest with the marketing pushes around celebrity brands. Miss Mosh was pretty solidly in the top 10 once upon a time and likely still would be if she was still a working model but again, out of sight out of mind. Most of the top 20 has been in the top 10 at some point but Amber Heard was the third most posted person after the first year of this blog and guys, you might have noticed her name isn't even in that picture there and it's simply because that was a once upon a time thing that quickly cooled, no doubt in part because she became less famous for movies and more famous for tabloid drama which generates different interests. Which really is the main thing i have learned with all of this. Celebrity culture is fascinating but these aren't real people. That might get me some backlash and I am not trying to dehumanize anyone but Charli XCX is not Charlotte Aitchison and either one of those people are not someone we're seeing through anything. I think great artists indeed put part of themselves in to their work but we don't know them, we know the portion of them that they are showing us. You mix in celebrity culture, which is not art or artists but brands and marketing and you are being sold something. We are attached to an idea or an image and if you want to really examine this I would argue who and what you like says more about you than them. I don't have a greater point here I suppose, other than to simply state it. I like Charli XCX a lot, I like her work, but none of this is real in the sense my friends (who are getting so fucking old somehow) and loved ones are. It's for fun, don't lose sight of that. Today I want to fuck Charli XCX.

[crumbsssscookie]

Girl!Logan is everything! I love it so much!

Honestly I'm so excited for the Prema arc because Oscar will 100% be utterly besotted with Logan none the wiser! Poor Fred has to deal both of them. You know those videos the three of them filmed at Prema? Oscar would definitely have the biggest heart eyes! Those would definitely haunt him for years to come as everyone teases him.

Would Nico or Jensen spot the very obvious crush Oscar (and literally every other guy she races with) has on her? Do either of them call up Mark to tell him to control his driver and his lovesick eyes before they do the F1 world champ version of a shovel talk for their not daughter?

Logan that Prema season was super competitive fighting for the top spots, will you be changing who wins the championship this time around? Will she jump to F2 with Oscar after that season or stay in F3 one more year? I doubt with Nico and her PR manager she'd have the same funding issues as OG Logan, but it'd be really interesting to see that conflict and struggle. I mean, she's being on the rise sure, but some setbacks would be interesting to see how she reacts, you know?

Really love this story and super excited to see where you take Logan! 🩵

Ooookayy friend, buckle up, this is going to be a long ass answer 😅

Those Prema pandemic videos have a special place in my heart. I'm still not over Logan not getting what Fred means with "swimp" and beach boy looking like he's completely lost it when Oscar calls them prawns later (bc Logan was the only person in that room that in fact knew that there is a difference, you can't tell me otherwise), just god tier comedy 😭😭

Absolutely with you on the heart eyes bc although they aren't as close yet going into 2020, it is Loscar's first meeting since Logan was dropped off in this universe. And going from Oscar's perspective, the last version he knows of her is the friendly 17-year-old girl that loves to yap about her special interests and then he arrives at Prema and there is a full-blown woman standing in front of him. And then we go into the video shoot and it's all get to know each other questions and she gets every. Single. Answer. Correct.

But she does it so nonchalantly, because of course Logan remembers (that is her best friend from her past life after all) and Fred sits there entirely confused because he doesn't know his former teammates that well, so she has to like Oscar, right? And Oscar still has to close his mouth from having his brain shortcircuited, so the verdict on his feelings is clear. But nothing. Ever. HAPPENS!!!! At least not for a long while.

As for Nico and Jenson - oh, they definitely notice. Especially Nico. Been there, done that. Clocks that crush in an instant but finds it amusing, since again, been there, done that. And as long as it doesn't distract Logan, good luck have fun 😉 as soon as people start to get handsy with her tho, he'll be handing out the shovel talks like it's free candy (I'm looking you, Pierre & Charles 😒)

Now Jenson would take a while. That man is completely focussed on doting on his grid daughter, that he is completely out of the loop for a while. Because since Logan herself doesn't realize that people have crushes on her, there is no reason to discuss that topic with Jenson. That is, until Mark calls up Jenson pleading with him to have a talk with his driver, because he cannot take listening to Oscar swoon over Logan anymore. Cue Jenson hitting up Nico, if he was aware that a huge number of fellow drivers are crushing on their daughter and Nico revealing that he's intimidating people on the regular for the better part of their professional relationship.

Now onto the racing side of things: I don't want to spoil too much, but it's not sunshine and roses for Logan for the rest of her junior career. You hit the nail on the head with that she will have no funding issues this time around and move on to F2 alongside Oscar. Yeah, Logan has the experience of a 40 year old race car driver, but she hasn't grown into this body and this life just yet.

I toyed with the idea of changing who get's the F3 championship title but decided on Oscar because I feel that in their comparison (and I know it's very hard to hear) he's still the superior driver and will end up where he is right now while Logan still enters F1 with Williams. I never planned this fic with Logan winning it all. Changing one's gender doesn't magically make you a Schumacher or a Hamilton or a Verstappen, but it makes you more concientious about your approach.

Sorry, if that got a little too real at the end 😅 It's just bonkers to me how much fem!Logan has grown close to my heart over the last few weeks and that this fic exists just because I had to air out my grievances with JV and Williams.

[hopeymchope]

Thoughts about this blog and Danganronpa in light of our current reality

For a long time this blog has been foremostly a Danganronpa blog. I've spent eight years sharing artwork/fic of it, talking theories about it, analyzing the writing, responding to asks about it, and sometimes (all too rarely) posting my own fanfic for it.

I discovered Danganronpa in the back half of 2016. I think that was an ideal time for me to get into it, because it spoke to me on a level that went beyond just its quirky, believable characters and its engaging mystery/puzzle mechanics — it was, after all, ultimately about hope shining through the darkest of times. And in when the end of 2016 hit, things felt pretty dark. Here in the U.S., we elected to power a blatant conman who constantly lied and focused on hate to rile people up. It felt insane to even see this fucker get the nomination in 2016, because I'd grown up in a reality where a man shouting "WOO!" at a rally one time took him from being the frontrunner for his nomination to being a distant loser, because his enthusiasm was "unpresidential" somehow. But hey—at least there were some controls in place in 2016. It's not like the populist demagogue president eight years had the entire government or even his own entire party on his side.

Today, though... Danganronpa's messaging about Hope feels like a very silly sentiment. If I'd only started getting into the series THIS year, I'd have found its messaging incredibly trite and clownishly optimistic.

Over the past 15 years we've seen the entire globe turn farther towards dictators and facism. Look all around: Hungary, Egypt, Italy, Poland, Brazil, and so on. "But there's extenuating circumstances to many of those," someone might say. "Like, Hungary barely had democracy for approximately 25 years, so they didn't really feel a need to fight to keep it." And, I mean... sure? But as a counterpoint, Italy is a country that already endured a dark period of facism that was devastating to them... and felt no need to stop it from returning, either.

Here in the U.S., the man who once seemed like an awful human being in 2016 turned out to be worse than we ever imagined: abducting immigrants' children at the border to be auctioned off for raising by white families, boasting of his dreams of being a dictator, committing almost countless crimes to the point that we couldn't even be bothered to pursue/prosecute many of them. He tore down our early-warning system for infectious agents coming out of China, literally causing us to lose millions to the COVID pandemic. The damage he did to our institutions like Education was going to take my whole lifetime to undo. He was linked to a a child sex trafficker very deeply — and his party didn't care! And despite all this, the people elected him again. This time with NO controls in place. He has the entire government on his side, and he's refashioned his entire party to be 100% loyal to him. His second-in-command is exactly like him. The damage he will do will be far beyond anything we could undo in my lifetime now.

In 2016, we thought people were ignorant. People weren't paying enough attention. That was the opimistic view. It's been 10 years of constant publicity about who this man is now, though, and we now have to accept that the majority of people aren't ignorant: They're disgusting. Awful. There is no way in hell these people haven't seen this man speak out loud after all this time, and yet they still chose him.

The idea that Hope overcomes Despair feels so incredibly dumb now that it's hard for me to keep posting about this fictional reality. Because I can't even imagine ANY alternate universe where human beings are capable of such a thing. Humanity is far too shit for that.

Let me bring up another fictional universe that I find incredibly obnoxious at the moment: Did you know there's a new Superman movie coming out next year — one that is focused on him as a symbol of hope that humanity rallies around? The idea literally pisses me off right now. When I think about someone publishing a fairy tale like that in our current reality, I just can't fathom it. In what possible dimension, what insane timeline would human beings rally around an alien being as a symbol of hope for them? Come ON: We know that's impossible now. Human beings aren't like that. We're hateful little shitbags. We'd throw rocks at an alien like that and call for his death! He's an alien! There's no such tolerance in the nature of humanity. Humanity is a festering disease.

You get the gist. It's hard for me to say much about DR or the fandom on this blog these days, because Hope is a hyper-unrealistic luxury. To pretend otherwise feels like a fundamental failure in our self-understanding—a whitewashing of our truth. You're just trying to look away from what we are. NO. Stare at it until you accept it. Why are we distracting ourselves with comforting, completely unrealistic ideals? I can no longer tolerate that kind of make-believe. Despair is all we've got. It's what we've chosen. It's the only thing we deserve.

[luminecho]

An acquaintance once stopped me on my way to class.

"Are you happy?" he asked me.

"What, just like, in general?" I said, confused.

"Yeah, just in general."

And it's not exactly the sort of existential question you're expecting to have dropped on you at 11 am on a Wednesday. And it was actually my birthday that day, but he didn't know that and it didn't feel super relevant so I didn't mention it. But the question itself made me stop and think after.

Because it's this question that gets asked of us so often in life. Are you happy with where you are now? Do you think you'll be happy in the future? You were so happy when you were a kid. What changed?

And I think when you start to get into adolescence and adulthood, it becomes expected of you to not be happy. Because that's the sort of society we live in today. It's so damn hard to be happy. And it shouldn't be. But it is. Happiness is like this fleeting thing way off on the horizon that people constantly grasp for, and we all do things in desperation to finally reach it, and maybe it works for some and maybe it doesn't for others.

I don't know if the typical college student is happy or not. But I do know that I don't really consider myself the typical anything, and one thing I pride myself a lot in is that I have a very strong understanding of exactly who I am and where I am in life. I'm at a school that I like taking classes that I enjoy. I have a bunch of friends who I love, and maybe they're all online and far away from me but that's okay. I have a bunch of hobbies that I love doing and a bunch of interests that I share with others and each day they bring me a little bit of enjoyment.

So, in that moment, I didn't even really need to think before replying.

"I am," I said with a smile.

And my acquaintance turned to the friend beside him.

"See?" he said, "I told you!"

I chuckled to myself and walked away.

But I couldn't stop thinking about it. Because like... what were they talking about? The scenario I found myself crafting in my head was one where this friend of his was saying that most people these days aren't happy. And maybe they're right. But that doesn't mean no one is happy. And that doesn't mean you can't find happiness. It's out there. It's out there in the little things. In the smiles of strangers and in the soundless laughter of text conversations, in music and poetry and art and the hot lights of a stage. It's in butterflies landing on flowers just beside you, and taking the time to stop and admire it for several minutes even though you know you're missing your bus because somehow the butterfly is just so much more important.

And I think my favorite part is that not only did I get to prove to a stranger that day that happiness exists, but I also got to prove it to myself, both in the past and in the future.

Because what if I had been asked that question a few years ago? In the middle of a pandemic, stuck at home attending high school in front of a computer, feeling like I'm drowning because I don't have the motivation to do my work and the one hobby I've held onto so dearly, drawing, feels like it's slipping through my grasp and I just can't enjoy it anymore and it's this real grief that's weighing me down. Telling my therapist that I wasn't sure who I was yet because I felt like this walking contradiction who longed for things I was too afraid to act on. Would I have said I was happy, then? I don't know.

And what about in the future? When any number of possibilities could happen. Will I say that I'm happy, or will I be stuck in a rut and not know the answer?

I didn't have a good birthday. Some days I'm stressed more than others. Sometimes I get overwhelmed, sometimes I feel like the world is caving in on me.

But the question wasn't, "Are you happy right now?" It wasn't a "How are you doing today?" or a "How's your morning?"

The question was, "Are you happy?"

"In general?"

"Yeah. In general."

And even if today is hard, tomorrow may be better. And if tomorrow is hard too, then you have countless weeks ahead of you that will look different and brighter than they did before.

I'm happy. I'm not happy every second of every day, because no one is. But that's not what "general" happiness looks like. General happiness is just... being satisfied with where you are now. Being comfortable in the new and unfamiliar experiences you're sitting in. And being comfortable with knowing it's all going to change soon.

Happiness is real. And if you don't have it now, then it's still out there, waiting with open hands.

And I just think that's neat.

[usedpidemo]

so i went to my first ever concert and...(storytime!)

Generally speaking, I don't like the concept of concerts. For the longest time, I've never had any interest in attending one. I've been disillusioned by the idea of them as a whole, with no disrespect to people who attend them. Even before the global pandemic that shut down live events, ironically, despite being on my headphones/speakers 90% of the time, I don't like crowds and extremely loud audiences. It also doesn't help that many live artists nowadays are just not good stage performers or lipsync or in some cases, aren't as pleasing to hear as the studio mix that I could easily play on Spotify. My mantra, which has always been my mother's as well, was "Just listen to the CD." This also explains why I don't really buy CDs anymore and stick to streaming instead.

It's now 2023, and as the old adage goes, things change. I've become a K-pop fan, live events are back, and there's this push to have me leave my house a lot more than I should. I'm no recluse like Bruce Wayne, but I certainly don't like going out when I could be relaxing and playing video games in my spare time even as an adult. Growing up made me realize that there's plenty of things that I should do, even at least once. I'm nowhere close to dying—I think so at least—but I definitely felt the need add some spice into my life and have some fresh memories to keep now that the pandemic's over.

Anyway—I've never been to a concert, and my older sister's only concert experience was seeing Fall Out Boy when she was in her teens that she desperately begged mom to see, and she was all the way up into the nosebleeds. Now obviously I can't go and see IZ*ONE anymore (sadblob) and every big act carries extremely large demand for them. My sister failed to secure Blackpink tickets for their tour even with the membership presale, and the experience was so frustrating and damning that she stopped listening to the group for a while. There's so many things that can go wrong even as early as ticket sales, so I understood that any concert I wanted to go to should be absolutely worth it.

It was during our vacation back in February when IVE announced that they would be bringing their fan concert around Asia, with June as the set date. I can remember seeing it trend on Twitter while waiting in the car; the hype was fucking real. I knew I had to be there by any means necessary. The campaign began as soon as we got back to our hotel. They said yes.

One thing I want to say is: fuck online ticketing. It sucks, big time. Anything that can go wrong, can and will go wrong. Yet some part of me was so uncertain and wanted to test the murky waters again. I got in touch with a third party way before they announced the ticket selling date, and I was so fixated on the success rate of the seller, against the advice of my family. It wasn't until two days before ticket selling that I was given a proper talk, saying that it could be a potential scam and that I should camp out the night before to get the best chances. Ultimately, I gave in and settled at a hotel close to a hotel without many fans. They ended up being right. I ended up first in line and got the best package for a little over $200. It was so difficult to keep my composure the moment I got the tickets all the way till I got home.

Fast forward to a little over a month. The family also booked me a nice hotel close to the venue days before the show so we wouldn't have to face insufferable traffic. I couldn't sleep the night before the show—not because I was excited and all, but I was genuinely feeling restless. It ultimately didn't matter as my mood and overall energy never diminished once I woke up 2.5 hours after finally sleeping.

You just know it's gonna be a good day when the first sign is making new friends out of nowhere. At breakfast, I befriended two Japanese tourists for some reason. My smile was wider than it normally was. It's so weird greeting people with amped up optimism that at times, it felt like main character energy, which was typically uncharacteristic of me. Mind you, I only had 2.5 hours of sleep.

An hour later, venue time—at least close to it. The concert organizers and local fanclubs held a fanhub that was already filling up the floor with a line that stretched around in a loop. So I bailed and went to the cafe across the street from where the actual concert would happen to get free shit. Saved myself almost $25 dollars from buying the I'VE IVE album because of a cupsleeve event being organized by a remnant of WIZ*ONEs. A big W if you ask me.

I even met up with some of my readers too! Cray and Nomad, if you're reading this, it was great finally meeting you. It was awesome to fanboy and connect with guys I've been talking to online for the past two years in person.

Afterward, we went inside an hour before show start, and people were already screaming like they showed up and it was just staff bringing out towels and water bottles. Then the lights went out and holy shit, everyone lost their shit. It wasn't a sold-out show but the audience's energy made it feel otherwise. They were singing instead of following fan-chants.

It should surprise no one that everyone killed it. Yujin is the 4th gen ace and no one can tell me any different. Wonyoung was absolutely fantastic in crowd control and drawing the audience in and lived up to the center title. They added both title tracks from I'VE IVE and changed up two of the cover songs for the unit stages, otherwise the set remains mostly similar to the ones in Korea and Japan, the only difference being new outfits and alternate color ones.

I'm gonna dedicate this section specifically for Liz. Consider me bias wrecked. She was not only an elite vocalist but she performed like the rent was due, holy shit. Blue Blood (my favorite stage of the night) in particular really gripped me and never let go. I was genuinely shook at how terrific she showed out in the performances. If anything, she's the 2nd best performer of the group after watching the footage.

There was an emotional moment at the end as the show was winding down. The members were lined up for the group photo when a fan video played and half of the members cried. Leeseo, Rei, and Yujin all cried and it was a wholesome scene. Rei mentioned how this was one of their first performances as a full group following her health hiatus and she was moved by the overwhelming support of the fans. Wonyoung also promised they would return—hopefully later than sooner I'm not loaded at the moment—which invalidates the stupid argument international Dives were having on Twitter. The girls felt their support, cried their heart out, and that's all you need to know.

After the event, there was a hi-bye session for all VIP ticket holders. They sent everyone else out, so it started 20 minutes after the actual ending. They kept reminding us that we weren't allowed to record or take photos of the event, but apparently someone at Starship was filming the whole thing? So there's a possibility that I might end up on YouTube, heh. Since we were on the left side of the stage, we were among the last to go up and meet them.

Holy fuck dude. I wasn't nervous while watching everyone else go up and meet IVE, but once the staff told us to form a single line and we slowly made our way around the stage, my heart began to go buckwild. You just don't know what to say or do when that moment comes—like how do I make this memorable or at the very least, not cringe? One thing I do know was that we all agreed, as a section, to walk past them as slow as humanly possible; five seconds was not enough. I was so unsure of what to do as I slowly walked up the steps to the point I was practically mouthing 'Jesus take the wheel' or else I'd melt into a puddle, lose my shit, do something stupid, or maybe all of the above.

Jesus Christ. They looked so fucking flawless. You honestly couldn't tell they were sweaty and exhausted after performing for 2.5 hours.

From left to right, it was Rei, Gaeul, Wonyoung, Yujin, Leeseo, and Liz. Liz was the first member I met, and she completed my half-heart gesture. From there, my brain blanked for a good three seconds. My mouth was still uttering 'Kamsahamnida' but that scene seemed to stick long past that moment. I couldn't register Leeseo, Yujin, and Wonyoung's reactions—I knew they were smiling and waving—but then my brain suddenly went back up as I met Gaeul and Rei's eyes right as we made our way out. I went to the bathroom and uttered a relieved, awestruck 'Holy shit.'

God. I don't know if I will ever move on from such an experience. I'm still thinking about the interaction as I write this little thought diary, and my mind keeps replaying the interactions with Liz, Gaeul, and Rei. All of them had lovely smiles and were so happy even though they clearly were gassed out, and I was in utter shock trying to comprehend what had happened. Famous streamer IShowSpeed met his hero Ronaldo the same day as the concert and if you've seen his video, he practically plays out all the emotions I wanted to feel after meeting them. I've not played any K-pop after the concert aside from English versions of songs and most certainly I've avoided IVE songs aside from rewatching my concert fancams because I'll just melt into a giddy pile of goo watching it, telling myself 'I was there.'

My sister only listens to Blackpink. She agreed to take me to the venue provided I buy her tickets, so this was a consolation or redemption of sorts after failing to secure tickets for the Born Pink tour. She's a Dive now. She couldn't stop raving over Wonyoung's beauty but she eventually found all the members to be cute and beautiful. It feels great to finally share a sweet moment with my sister despite the turbulent relationship we have.

In an ideal world, I'll be watching Le sserafim and the other IZ*ONE members when they perform/arrive here. Of course, there's many obstacles in the way, and I'm not loaded with disposable income. Seriously, these tickets were more expensive than a veteran group and they're supposed to be rookies! But the entire experience—the energy, the performances, and the ending—made every coin I spent worth it. If this ends up becoming the only concert I attend in my entire life moving forward, I'm glad it was an unforgettable one.

Gaeul, Yujin, Rei, Wonyoung, Liz, and Leeseo, thank you for making my year and giving me a core memory I can fondly look back on. I fucking love you guys.

[lunawings]

AiPri episode 2

Well. I watched it.

I still find the lack of an audience super awkward. Makes me wonder if this series was first conceived during the pandemic, when they thought performing online was going to be the future of idol activities...

Buzzilume is apparently a new system that only activates based on the audience reaching max enjoyment. None of the student council members have been able to trigger it yet. They seemed surprised that it happened in the last episode, and this is why.

It's the green-haired one that has the Kansai accent. I knew it. WAIT. That's Sora Tokui right!? She sounds so much like Nico except... Kansai. AHHHH. (Possible favorite.)

Sakura says the AiPri bracelet Himari has is a new kind. So Himari DID steal it from the student council!

Himari tries to return it, but the student council says they are gonna produce her instead. If it gets out that a student did Buzzilume Change it will reach the principal, and they aren't supposed to be doing AiPri stuff while at school? I think? (She's not saying 禁止, she's saying like 自習 or 自主??)

So Himari has to keep it a secret. I see. AiPri isn't inherently a secret, it's just this specific situation??

So, it turns out that Himari and Mitsuki promised to debut together when they were young, but both of them broke the promise.

They are roommates. Making for a very awkward confrontation when Himari gets home....

OH NO. STOP. REALLY. ARE WE REALLY DOING THIS.

Himari lies to Mitsuki about debuting. So, Mitsuki, who wanted to apologize for breaking the promise, doesn't get to say anything.

So both of them are keeping their debut a secret even though they both clearly know.

UUGGGHGH

(this is like worst case scenario for me. please let it resolve within this episode.....)

Is Himari eating cheesecake for breakfast.

(Okay I guess it's pound cake. Or toast... maybe...... I didn't see the full crust until I went back to pause it. It really looked like cheesecake when she was biting into it.)

Himari decides to do the right thing, only to find she can't because the student council is stalking her....................

Meanwhile, Mitsuki goes to talk to her brother. Apparently the reason she debuted before Himari is because she wanted to "research" AiPri first for Himari. So she says, anyway.

Himari goes to talk to her brother too. She doesn't explain the full details but he's also basically just like JUST TELL HER

But when Himari goes to find Mitsuki, Mitsuki has already entered AiPri verse and we get to see her transformation animation.

She leaves a note for Himari telling her to watch Miichan on AiPri Verse.

Chii performs first though... FOR A THREE SECOND CLIP. THEY PUT THAT IN THE LAST EPISODE'S PREVIEW. AND IT WAS LIKE THREE SECONDS.

HER SONG WAS ACTUALLY GOOD TOO. MY FAVORITE SO FAR.

Damn Chii really is just a joke isn't she............. I didn't feel bad for her being ignored in the last episode but now I kinda do.

The make-up portion of coord change reminds me so much of Sailor Moon. They showed off nails (and lips too I think?) during transformations because they were selling nail polish, etc. I guess that's another reason I do like the make-up toys.

The actual coord change sequence is shorter though, which is a little disappointing. The whole coord is on one card, after all (for the main AiPri game) but she's just kinda passively floating in space as the coord appears on her.....

Miichan gets Buzzilume Change!

(Ow my eyes.)

(Like I'm not even kidding I had to shrink the window. Those lasers hurt.)

Mii beats Chii!

After the performance, Miichan announces she's changing her name to Mitsuki and quickly returns to confront Himari on... on her bed.

Mitsuki apologizes for debuting first. She wanted to study AiPri, but got carried away when she started having fun and realized she really wanted to be an AiPri. Himari gives her a headbonk and tells her the magic words her brother taught her, "I'm sorry." So Himari apologizes as well for debuting and keeping it a secret.

They realize they both had the same secret. So now it's their secret.

Mitsuki still won't tell Himari what she's gonna broadcast on her channel though heh.

(And now they are probably gonna have to fight the student council if they wanna be a team.)

Anyway, I'm glad Himari keeping her debut a secret from Mitsuki only lasted one episode.

Also glad Mitsuki changed her name. Earlier in the episode I was like umm are we gonna have Mii, Chii, and Hii?? Hmm. I was thinking Himari would just use her own name now that Mitsuki is but then again.... SECRETS.

Welp. I'm still not really feeling this, but I will keep watching. Especially um for... (okay I'll look up the name) Airi! Not that I know much about her yet just LOVE THE VOICE.

I also find it interesting how Rinrin (Lin-Lin?) has long fluffy hair IRL but ties it up when she's an AiPri. You never see that HAHA. Ahhh I can't wait to meet them hahah... Himari and Mitsuki are so bland and they make it hard to take Chii seriously.

Is this Chii's villain origin story right now omg that would be great.

[eolewyn1010]

Charité, season 4 - episode 1

Alright. Let's do this. Consider everything past this point a spoiler, and yourself warned.

The dramatic lighting and music (vocalizing instead of the instrumentals that dominated the Charité music over three seasons) make the first scene appear very stylized, like a theater play. I don't hate it, but it sure is something else. I guess they broke with the continuity when they chose this season's setting.

Post-Corona, and she's not wearing a mask in surgery? Consider me unimpressed.

Ew. What did that poor greenscreen do to you?

"fires in Czechia coming closer to Saxony" - 2049 taking notes from 2022, huh? Ever so optimistic.

At least we get pretty lesbians. In fond memory of Therese...

They sure took the fashion choices in an interesting direction. And by that I mean, eurgh.

Who is this slimeball and can I castrate him.

Heritage of the last several seasons: An uncouth but motherly nurse with a heavy Berlin dialect; every generation needs one.

See, if you can 3D-project shiny holographs into the middle of the room, you should adapt your architecture. An auditorium that uses this technology should be built in a circle around the projector so everyone has the same chances of seeing the goddamn things! Logic, anyone?

In about 25 years, colors in architecture will have died out for good. Depressing, but not unlikely. The look of this place is giving me anxiety.

This woman's mouth movements don't fit her words at all. Why is she dubbed, and why so poorly?

"I don't eat sweets." *has sweets standing next to her* Is she dumb, or does she think Doc Safadi sr. is dumb?

Oh, nice, they have a botanical garden!

Super-quick zoom! Do you see our modern technology? DO YOU SEE IT YET!? More zoom! Sheesh, cut it out.

Why is everyone so awkward / impolite to Julia? Because her wife is pushing the health reform?

Poly marriage. Nice. ...and also, Nachtigall, ick hör dir trapsen.

Maral is ever so charming to Dylan. Isn't it nice to condescend to your co-worker from day 1?

Oh, nice, they all have universal translators. I get that they want to put in a lot of international variety, but why does the girl not speak any German when her mother does?

Take out ovarial tissue? From a teenager??? If she ever decides to have kids, can't she start by trying it the more obvious way? Why take it out in the first place? It's well-kept in her body, isn't it?

This mother is the worst.

Julia actress's delivery of her lines is very inconsistent. Some scenes, she plays good; others, she sounds like a third-grader reciting Erlkönig.

Did they steal that shot from Tatort: Der Herr des Waldes?

This concrete house is as fugly on the inside as it is on the outside. Thanks, I hate it.

Ehm. Okay. ngl, Martin's and Otto's PDA looked a lot more believable. Can you at least commit to your gay smoochies?

Why does the Armenian-German kid have a French name?

Brat wants to join the army for his democratic values. What, does he want to bring freedom to the poor savages? Gawd.

Starting to think Nils and Seda aren't a couple anymore, which makes the friendly relationship they have all the nicer.

Rest of the family is bitching. Greeeaaat.

Giving your doctor false medical information before surgery? Sure, why not! Is everyone here an idiot?

I don't really vibe with these extreme zooms.

Now she's wearing a mask - that's barely even covering her chin, nevermind her nose. Why is this so inconsistent?

Really good of you to treat a dying patient in hearing distance to another patient who has the same disease. Like. Just lock down sound transmission to the neighbor quarantine room?? Why is everyone so illogical?

Yeah, fuck. He's only a background character, so we give up after three attempts.

Maral got her self-righteousness from Seda, huh?

Yay, pandemics! Every generation needs one.

This all sounds very negative because I'm not terribly into the speculative future setting, but honestly, I don't hate watching it. My engagement with it is low in comparison to previous seasons Charité, but it still is interesting. And I'm kinda committed to the trash factor.

[psychelis-new]

Im in my 20s now and realized that making friends at this age is so difficult! Understandable.. since im at age where we are supposed to be building our career or future, but do people really have no time to make a connection? i mean a connection beyond professional ones? i’ve tried many times now to make friends but found little reciprocation. i sometimes wonder if i would ever really find friends that i have deep and meaningful connection.

yes, im in desperate..longing for deep connection. is this part of adulting too? haha

Okay, let's start by saying that society's norms are not the reality of things. So whatever people (someone, we don't even know who started!) say you're supposed to do at a certain age (be it having a stable group of friends after college, building a career from mid 20s and marrying+having children before 30s or anything like this) is just.... [NSFR] plain bs [/NSFR]. I mean, it cannot work for everyone. It's not possible. And we cannot live to these set standards (what are these based on?) and others' expectations. And it's okay if in your 20s/30s/40s/60s you don't have your group of old friends, or don't have a lover or haven't found your path yet. Living is already hard, I don't understand why we keep stressing over the fact that we need to reach specific goals by specific ages. It doesn't make any sense to me.

Now, moving onto the difficulty of creating relationships. I have answered a similar ask not too many days ago, you can scroll towards it if you want to check that too. Anyway, having relationships of any type is hard at any age, and I think it somehow got harder recently, be it because we're all more stressed or confused/scared (I'm specifically talking about the period after the pandemic -and war, tbh- and how it changed, even unconsciously our perception of life and mined our safety a bit more), be it cause we are are more scared of creating deeper connections (also thanks to how much we rely on the online world and how much we compare our lives to the made up ones we see there, and end up feeling like failures and unacceptable by others)... whatever it may be, we all feel more lonely. It's like a neverending cycle: I am lonely but I am also scared of opening up so I don't let the other in or I wear a mask to fake who I am (or pretend I have no time maybe to look more interesting), and I keep feeling lonely cause I have no one to talk to. Tbh connections like this aren't buildt to be long lasting. We don't know how to really create long lasting relationships, so we want the other to do most of the job and always/often search for us first (which is not fair), we're scared of being seen for who we are and being judged or not being liked... Finding people that really want to reciprocate isn't easy ofc, but I think sometimes it starts from us. So, what are the problems, the more common ones, you can see/find when you approach to others and get "rejected"? It's all on them or it's also partially on you? Do you do your part by letting them in and being open? Do you start/reciprocate the effort?

I am not saying it's your fault, please beware: I'm just saying that oftentimes we're more focused on others and what we expect from them (standards that they not meet in our minds), and forget that we too need to do our part. We in fact need to try and understand IF by any chance, we're mistaking something in our behaviour. How to do that? By checking within ourselves and seeing if we're sticking to our core values; seeing how others may feel by trying to imagine someone acting like we generally do with us; asking to someone else (external) for suggestions/confirmations; actually talking with these people about our fears/doubts on the connection and trying to ask them how we can try to meet them halfway. Communication is the key in relationships. Always. Especially when it comes to making deeper connections. But ofc if you're doing your part... if on the other side you only find walls, the problem is that they may not be interested or have other issues. Remember that that's not your fault, not theirs. It doesn't depend on any of you. We cannot match with everyone, sadly.

But doesn't mean you're doomed and will be alone forever. At all. Convince yourself that is not so. Don't give up and keep searching. Keep meeting people and being yourself. Your life isn't ending cause atm you don't have any to few friends or the type of friendship of your dreams. Work on ways to reach it and when you least expect it, your people will arrive. I know well that it feels very lonely now, but use this moment to find out more about you, about what you like, your passions... anything. Make it about you, be your bestie. Maybe go out reading in a park or just for a walk/run. Take classes, go volunteering, go to the cinema, go to the gym.... You don't have to do things only with friends, you can do things by yourself too (it's not sad, trust me: that's a societal fake perception). You have no idea who you can find in such places. You may meet your next friends like this, while you enjoy yourself. But keep your hopes up.

Take care! And feel free to send an ask whenever you need to talk :)

[astroyongie]

https://www.tumblr.com/astroyongie/741129105715658752/do-u-still-like-kpop

Honestly you answer sums up my current feelings on kpop soo good. While i still like kpop and it will always have a special place in my heart,kpop,especially post pandemic just kinda changed imo,and i can’t even say why exactly it just doesn’t feel the same anymore,that coupled with the fact that my life changed and am older.Although i am still up to date with what happens,mostly through twitter, and still sometimes watch older content of groups who were my favourites(since now they don’t really release much).Also the groups that we loved so much are either having comebacks less and less or are going to military and these newer groups just don’t hit the same yk,and suddenly I understood all those bitter second gen fans back then lmao. And thus i drifted apart from the community but it was so sudden that I don’t even remember how it happened.At that time i also parted ways with one of my two best friends,and she was the person i consumed kpop with the most and after that i just didn’t have someone to talk about it with so maybe that’s also the reason why.

However i always feel this overwhelming nostalgia for that time when i was into kpop, and sometimes it’s honestly so intense that idk what to do with it. But to be fair i think what i truly miss is the person i was back then,just a 15-19 year old with nothing else to do but come back from school to watch the latest music shows of groups who had a comeback and binge kpop videos. And now I’m turning 22 and graduating college this year an i have so much to worry about and think about and i think i just am not ready to be an adult yet so I’m just wishing i could go back in time to those days…

thank you so much for sharing your thoughts because I believe that we aren't alone in this, and it is okay. the same way it is okay to be a lot into it and binging the content it is also okay to grow from it and focus on other things, because life happens. dont feel bad about it and tell yourself that it is still a good memory <3