#(way to bring attention to them and ensure everyone is gonna check them out lmfao)

[halojalex]

anyway while i’m talking jalex i feel like now is a good time to shamelessly self-promo my ao3

[wastelandlovingscenarios]

One time when Deacon and I went to a gas station or something and he said "great, I've been holding it in for mile" or something like that. Now I'm wondering how exchanges like this go when companions need a bathroom break. Peeing is easier since they're guys but toilets aren't always available so they'd probably have to pop a squat in the wastes lol. I bet it's super awkward to tell sole they "gotta go" when they're newly recruited and don't know each other very well 😂(1/2)

I can already imagine sole just fucking with them by saying dumb shit like "don't forget to wipe" or "make sure you give it a few shakes before we go"😂. (I know, I'm immature😁) Anyway how do newly recruited companions(+Preston) handle bathroom situations out in the wastes? Bonus if sole messes with them a bit while they just kinda stand around on look out and waits for him to finish his business lmfao😭. (2/2)end

??? idk if i don’t play fallout enough but i never noticed these little dialogues ?? 😭 i’ve always wondered how the characters in fallout use the restroom cs god knows that they can’t hold that bitch in all day. i just wrote this based off of my opinion. thank you for requesting! i hope you don’t mind that i kept it somewhat general. ❤️

i removed nick from this scenario because i doubt he’s physically able to use the restroom anyway.

-

Danse:

danse is very, very embarrassed to use the restroom anywhere besides the prydwen, the cambridge police station, or the boston airport. he just thinks having his pants down in the middle of a forest or an abandoned restroom leaves him vulnerable to many hazards that could occur at any given second, so he’d absolutely refuse to use the restroom until the next safest destination. he’d try his very best to hold his business in, refraining from showing any signs of discomfort so sole wouldn’t question him. if he really couldn’t hold it in any longer, he’d shyly call out for sole who would divert their attention immediately towards their now blushing companion. “yes, paladin?” they would watch as his eyes traveled everywhere but at them. “i, uh, need to use the restroom.” sole would let out a small, “oh”, before looking around and pointing at a red rocket station nearby. “cmon, lets get moving. don’t want you to piss your pants on me halfway through the mission.” he would grumble, his face growing more crimson at soles comment, “that was highly unnecessary, soldier.” they would only let out a hearty chuckle as they made their way towards red rocket. he’d quickly do his business and be on his way out, avoiding eye contact with sole for a few moments. they would laugh at his behavior, only causing the paladin to blush more. maybe he shouldn’t have left cambridge.

Deacon:

deacon is the opposite of danse. he’s far from embarrassed with using the restroom, knowing that everyone needs to do their business. it was a part of human nature after all, so why would he be ashamed? besides, let’s face it, he’d probably fart in sole’s face for all we fucking know. if they made a stop at somewhere with a restroom, he’d probably tell sole that he was gonna go take a bathroom break and make some stupid exaggerated fart noises with his mouth while he was in the restroom. if they were no where near a restroom and he couldn’t hold it in any longer, he’d simply point to the bushes nearby and notify sole that he was gonna drop a big one as a joke. they’d laugh, nudging him on the side. “make sure to wipe, im sure there’s some stray leaves there to assist you.” they teased, watching him head over to the bushes. he’d push his glasses up before shrugging playfully, “i dunno charmer, last time i did that, got a huge rash on my ass that wouldn’t go away. carrington had to check on it every week to make sure it didn’t get worse.” sole rolled their eyes, facing forward so they can keep watch. they didn’t know if it was a lie or truth but then again, they wouldn’t be surprised if it was either.

Hancock:

hancock’s probably also not embarrassed with using the restroom. maybe he’d be more conscious if he was dropping a number 2, but a number 1 was nothing to him. he’d prefer to use the restroom in privacy but he also wouldn’t really give a fuck using it in the wilderness if there was no other option. hell, he couldn’t care less if someone snapped a photo of him shitting in a hole. if he were to approach sole about it in the middle of nowhere, he’d keep it calm and casual, simply telling them he needed to go take a piss. sole would nod at him with a teasing smirk, “make sure to give it a few shakes before you go. we wouldn’t want anything leaking down there.” hancock laughed before winking at sole. “that’s not the only thing that leaks through there.” sole would blush, not used to his flirtatious and provacative comments yet but would friskily shove him further into the forest with a small chuckle. “go before i change my mind about keeping watch and let the yao guai’s eat you themselves.” he’d still keep that stupid smile on his face as he walked in deeper. “love the enthusiasm, sister/brother.”

Maccready:

he hates having sole around whenever he needs the restroom, whether in the wilderness or in a more secure area. he knows it’s a normal thing to do to get through the day but he can’t help but feel shy whenever he needs it. the thought of someone being around while he’s doing his business doesnt sit right with him, so majority of the day, he’ll either suck it up or do it when he knows sole will be distracted for a bit or sleeping. he probably would never bring it up himself, even if he really needed it. eventually, they would notice his discomfort while they were in the middle of no where and ask if he’s okay. “i’m fine. just need the restroom but i can wait.” he’d lie, trying to act as normal as he possibly could. “you can go, you know. i won’t judge,” he watched as sole raised a brow, an amused smile playing on their face, “we smell like shit already, i don’t need you adding onto it.” maccready would blush profusely and cross his arms like a child throwing a tantrum, “shut up, you’re not helping.” they would shrug and continue walking ahead of him, “fine. suit yourself, i doubt there’s a bathroom around. we’re probably like a thousand miles away from the nearest toilet.” eventually, mac wouldnt be able to hold it in any longer and would scurry off to the trees nearby to which sole laughed at. he’d glare at them childishly, “i’d like some privacy, please.” sole would turn around, much to maccreadys comfort and kept watch, “whatever floats your boat, mac.”

Gage:

when i say this man doesn’t give a fuck, i absolutely mean it with all my heart. if he has to piss at the top of trinity tower, then so be it. he’s not shy at all with announcing his needs to go use the restroom and would just go without notifying sole majority of the time. he wouldn’t care if he knew sole for a day, week, or 50 years from now, he would still do his own business anywhere and everywhere he wanted to. there would be at one point of their relationship where sole wouldn’t even have to ask where he’s going, they would just naturally know by instinct. their only request was to do it as far away as possible from them, to which gage obliged. some days, sole would pull out a joke before he headed to his destination, “make sure the radroaches don’t bite your ass, wouldn’t want to treat that.” he’d scoff before slinging his rifle over his shoulder, returning their joke with another. “doubt it’d be like that boss. the smell will have them runnin’ instead.” sole would snicker, wiping off the bloodstains off of her switchblade. of course gage would say something like that.

Preston:

naturally, preston is often shy about it but isn’t afraid to confront sole. he knows it’s unhealthy to hold it in and wants to ensure that he doesn’t get himself sick from doing it, so he tries to use it whenever he feels the urge to. the only time he’ll really hold it in is if they’re being attacked or in a dangerous situation. preston is fine with using restrooms in buildings, but will absolutely refuse to do his business in the wilderness. there’s just no absolute way he’ll do that, he’d rather just hold it in until they reach the nearest building. if he were to confront sole about it, he’d just shyly request that they’d stop by the nearest building with a restroom to do his business. sole would flash him a grin and accommodate his needs, looking at their pip boy for the nearest area. preston would probably thank them the whole time for going through the trouble just to ensure his comfort but they’d wave it off. before he’d enter the restroom, sole would look over their shoulder, a shiteating smile plastered on their face, “know how to aim or you’ll make it rain.” he’d blush embarrassingly but awkwardly smiled back as an attempt to be polite, “i’ll, um, be sure to, general.” they’d chuckle and gesture for him to go do his thing.

[bbrandy2002]

Something Flubbed:

Consequences of A Bad Reblog

Part 1

Wacky Drabble #15: It could be worse.

Liam and Riley

Word count: 1102

Summary: This is a continuation of a drabble I did several weeks ago, Riley's Secret Life.

A/N: So much for hiatus 😯 Im feeling better though and thanks to everyone who reached out with love, support and encouragement.

Thanks Burnsy for pre-reading and helping to tweak a certain paragraph or two.

Warning: Lot and Lots of bad language. Riley is not holding back in this; Im almost embarrassed for her...almost.

**I will not deny, nor, confirm this is loosely autobiographical**

Sorry, my read more is not working again.

'Haha, Drake's hogtied naked on Liam's jet', Riley chuckled to herself as she read, careful to not awaken a sleeping Liam to her antics. Oh yeah, he still doesn’t know Riley reads and writes fanfic about their life on tumblr like an obsessive tool. Would he care? she has no idea, nor, does she ever intend to find out.

He starts to stir in their oversized bed, a light snore escapes him as he grumbles something about pootang. Riley hits the panic app on her laptap, bringing up the Cordonian Fall expenses report. She was supposed to look over the numbers weeks ago, but, since her ass belongs to Tumblr now, the only numbers she cares about are followers and notes.

She remains perfectly still, holding her breath, as he rolls over, his back towards her, and with a quick scratch to his balls, he blissfully resumes his slumber. Riley exhales in relief and with a little snort she returns back to her tumblring, eagerly typing out a DM, to share the newest Liamism.

Notthequeenofcordonia: Burnsy, you there? This mofo is playing with his balls again 🤣

@burnsoslow LMFAO!!

@burnsoslow Alyssa is gonna get a mouthful of Drake's balls in Chapter 394 of Heavier Things: The Nursing Home Years

Notthequeenofcordonia: At least her new dentures will make it easier. Don't need her choking and having heart palpatations again...Drakey Baby's got that new hip, should probably take it easy on him for a while.

@burnsoslow BUT I WANT THEM TO FUCK SO BAD!!!!!!!

After arguing with Burnsy for 10 minutes that at 102 years old, HT Drake's colossus is shriveled and no longer working, she returns to reading. Riley hits the little heart and begins her well crafted, 500 word reblog with five-on point gifs-to accessorize it. As she prepares to post her reblog, a light knock on the bedroom alerts her to their 5 year old, Nikolas, who does not wait for an invitation to enter.

“Mommy?”, he wearily asks, being just a small silhouette in the doorway of the surrounding darkness.

Riley huffs, lowering her laptop and shushes him, glaring over at Liam to ensure he hasn’t been disturbed before drawing her attention back to her son. “What is it kiddo?”, she cautiously whispers.

He rubs his heavy eyes with one tiny hand and holds on tightly to his blue, stuffed dragon in the other. “I had a nightmare momma, I’m really scared”, he replies softly with a sniffle.

Riley stared at the small boy, who was the perfect mixture of she and Liam, the proof of their love….then she looked at the pending reblog that kept calling out for her to finish, the other proof of her love.

“Um, Nikolas”, she bit her fingernail as she contemplated the terrible example she was about to set as a mother, “go sleep with Grandma Regina”.

Nikolas’ eyes widened in disgust as he slumped in frustration, “But momma”, he cried, “she pisses the bed and blames me for it”.

"It could be worse", Riley grumbled, wishing Regina would just have her vaginal mesh surgery already. As Liam began to toss again, rolling over this time to face her side and muttering, little cockblocker, Riley decided to help her son find comfort back in his own room. She eased up from the bed, placing the laptop by her pillow and threw her pink cottony, mom robe over her pajamas.

"I'm coming Nik, just have to do...something", she trailed, reaching back over for her laptop. She typed out one last sentence before hitting, post.

Riley tapped at the keys, squinting her eyes at those words.....

Something flubbed. Try again.

Her breathing became a little more heavier, her heart starting to race. She swallowed hard and closed her eyes, knowing that if she believed hard enough, her massive reblog would suddenly reappear.

All of time and space froze in existence as she continued to hit the 'retry' option again and again and again and again....nothing...it was gone.

"YOU SON OF A MOTHER FUCKING WHORE, COCKSUCKING, BILLY JOE DICKWAFFLE, SHIT EATING, HONKY TONK PECKERWOOD, SKANKASSED, DICKHEADED, JIZZSTAINED, CUMWIPED, TINY NUTSACKED, BITCH!!!!!!!!!! The laptop flew across the room.

It really was like something out of a horror flick, a creepy ass Stephen King novel, a Dateline NBC story. King Fabian's large naked portait shook vigorously at the reverberations before bouncing off the wall and crashing to the marbled floor.

"Mommy!", Nikolas yelled in a panic as he ran away to seek refuge.

Liam's eyes shot open, not completely awake but ready to pounce whatever the hell was torturing his wife. His body weaved back and forth in attack mode, demonstrating his highly skilled martial arts moves, kicks and spins, slashes and puches. Unbeknowest to him, his dick was poking through the hole in his boxers, bouncing and flopping with each technique, causing Riley to burst into a fit of laughter.

"What the hell happened! Are you okay?", he asked breathless and confused, his dick still poking through.

Riley covered her mouth, attempting to stifle her laughs, still baffled that he didn't realize his dick and now half a ball had escaped their confines. "I'm fine...I'm fine....but, g'day mate, permission to come upboard captain", she squeeled, saluting in gest to his manhood.

Liam looked down, a slight growl escaping as he tucked his jewels back in its place. "I heard screams....why is Fabian's portrait busted...and.. stop fucking laughing, it's over."

"I'm trying, but...oh god...I cant", she cackled, "I have to go check on Nikolas, he had a nightmare", she scurried past him and out of the room before he could ask any further questions.

If he wasnt pissed before, he was about to be. Just as he turned to head towards the bathroom, his foot stepped on the opened laptop Riley threw, sliding him forward before he corrected himself and skid backwards with a thud.

"Goddamit!", he howled, twisting and contorting his back, wallowing from the bruising pain. As he laid there, trying to catch his breath, he glanced over at the object that has caused his affliction in more ways than one. His head popped up, pulling the laptop closer to him, completely shocked by its contents, his blood boiling the more he read and saw. DRAKES COLOSSUS DICK...RIDING DRAKE IS MY CHOICE, EDITS OF LIAM AND RILEY WITH CREEPY KIDS THAT LOOK LIKE DRAKE........DRAKE, DRAKE, FUCKING DRAKE.....

"I finally got him back to sleep with some Nyquil and a shot of whiskey....", Riley stopped talking as she entered their bedroom again moments later and realized, Liam knew.

"Uhhh, I..I can explain".

__________________

Wacky Drabbler tags: @emceesynonymroll @sirbeepsalot @dcbbw @jessiembruno @fromthedeskofpaisleybleakmore @pedudley @romanticatheart-posts @of-course-i-went-to-hartfeld @theroyalromancexx