#(tw weight talk but it also makes me crazy

[hyunrun]

tw ed in the tags !!

[boysnberriespie]

Fundamentally I know it’s just people saying stuff that comes to mind (because I do this!! we all do this sometimes), but every time someone at work says “oh yeah getting your steps in” in response to me liking to take out the trash or whatever, I just can’t help but think “in what way am I getting more steps doing this than I am doing any other fucking thing in this place?” 😭

[camryn-haitani]

you can take us, can't you?

Sam and Colby x Fem reader

you, Sam, and Colby were hanging out by the pool. you decided to go to the hot tub to warm up when Sam followed you. and things took a turn for the better

TW: p in v sex, degrading and praising, squirting, deep throating, recording, fingering (Fem receiving), body worship, fingering in hot tub (also Fem receiving), cursing, sir and daddy calling, pussy eating, masturbating, cum eating, ass slapping, smelling (Colby smells her a few times), pet names (too many to count), unprotected sex, after care

here's the long awaited part 2 <3

I'm sorry for making y'all wait😭

also ion know whats goin on with my caps on my i's. like some are capitalized and some aren't. oh well🤷

- - - - - - - - - - - - -

you were extremely bored. like to the point where you were staring at the ceiling counting the spikes from the ceiling popcorn. you decided to text Sam and Colby in y'all's group chat to see if they wanted to hang out

Spooky Gang😱

you: hello my favorite paranormal investigators, I am very bored and have come here to bother both of yall

Colbs<333: wanna come over and swim princess?

Sam<333: anything for you darling

you: stooooop y'all flatter me🤭

you: but yes I'd love to come and swim. I'll be there in 30<3

Sam<333: we'll be waiting angel🖤

i put down my phone and start to get ready. Colby was already at Sam's so I didn't have to worry about him. i put on a baggy shirt and colbys hoodie wrapped around my waist with my bathing suit underneath. I didn't see a reason to wear pants or shorts so I didn't. i get to my car and I drive to Sam's

Colby POV

i was talking with Sam when I hear a car pull up. we both look at each other and thought the same thing. "shit, y/n's here..". we both swallow the lump in our throats and wait for her to get inside.

we hear the door open and there she is, all in her glory. i snapped out of my ogling over her and meet her at the door.

"hey pookies, how are ya?" she asked as she sets down her keys. "we're ok, what about you?" Sam asks. "hot, extremely hot and bored. sooooo why don't we jump in the pool?" she says as she takes off my hoodie from her waist. 'now it's gonna smell like her.' I take the hoodie from her and go to the kitchen. i make sure she couldn't see me and I smell the hoodie. her scent is so addicting, I can't get enough of it. i put it down before I'm caught.

we all go outside and get undressed down to our bathing suits and y/n just jumps in. she comes out of the water and gets out and comes to where me and Sam are. she bats her eyes innocently at me and holds my hand. i raise an eyebrow but I catch onto her motives. my eyes widen as I realize what she's doing. she pulls me into the pool.

"holy shit! oh my god it's cold!" Sam yells. "oh shut up, it's fine" she says. she starts floating around the pool when me and Sam have an idea.

we get out of the pool and surround her. she opens one of her eyes to look at us and we jump on her. she sinks underwater and comes back up gasping for air. "you little fucks."

Y/n POV

after their little stunt, I get cold and head to the hot tub. i step in and sink under the hot water. my nose and up are the only thing above the water until I feel something else come in. i open my eyes and see who it is. 'oh it's just Sam.' I think to myself.

i look around the pool and see that colbys not there. 'he must've gone inside'. i feel hands wrap around my waist and pull me up "hey what the fu-". I felt lips on mine. hungry and passion filled lips. I'm in shock when I see Sam kissing me and I'm in his lap, straddling his waist.

i kiss him back with the same energy he is with me. his hands move my body back and forth and I hear him groan against my mouth. i put more body weight onto him and he pulls back.

"do you know how much you drive us crazy, darling?" he questions. i shake my head no. "want me to show you?" he whispers against my neck. "yes please." he kisses up my neck and down my jawline while his hand snakes down to my bottoms. he hooks his finger around the fabric and pulls them aside. Sam teases his finger around my hole and grazes his fingertip on my clit. i hiss at the contact and my forehead reaches his shoulder. "you're so beautiful, angel. Colby was right, you get so sensitive." he whispers against my neck. 'colby talked about me?' I say to myself.

"w-wait, we can't do this here. there's no telling what's in the pool." i panic. "yeah, you're right." he says. he picks me up and I wrap my arms and legs around him. he carries me to the beach chair (I forgot what they're called, bear with meT-T) and lays me down. he yanks down my suit bottoms and runs his tongue up and down my slick folds. my hand quickly finds it way to his hair and grips onto it. "fuck Sam!" not expecting him to do that.

he slips his two middle fingers into me and sucks on my clit. his movements pick up as he harshly sucks on my clit. that familiar knot in my lower stomach forms while I can't even form words. "sa- cum-... fuck... Sam... plea...." i stutter out. "gonna cum, sweetheart? gimme a few more minutes love, you taste divine." he dives back into my pussy.

he stops before I can cum. i whine as I throw my head back. "wh...why?" i give him a questioned look. "I'm gonna wait for Colby, darling." he stands back up and picks me up. my bathing suit bottoms still on the concrete. i wrap my arms and legs around him. he shoves his two fingers back into me as I moan in his neck. he continues to finger me as he takes me back inside.

Colby POV

*this was when you went to the hot tub. also this is just a quick Colby pov*

i take my leave and go inside. i dry off and head to the kitchen. I'll let Sam have her for a moment. i see my hoodie and pick it up to smell it again. my eyes rolls back as I get hard from her raw scent. "fuuuuuck" I draw out. i go to my room and immediately take off my swim shorts. i jump on my bed and start to jerk off to hy own fucking hoodie. i place it on my head so it covers my nose and I start masturbating. her smell alone drives me crazy, it already makes me want to cum.

a good few minutes go by and I feel myself get more sensitive and the knot in my stomach breaks as I cum all over my stomach. i take my fingers and just lick it up. I have no shame in eating my own cum, so I do anyway. I hear the door open and I see who it is

Y/n POV

Sam is still finger fucking me as he walks and with every step he takes, his fingers go deeper into me. god it feels so good, I can't get enough of it. i hear Colby come up from behind me and grabs my face to make me look at him. "you gonna be a good girl for us, doll?" i can only nod as I still can't speak words. "nuh uh, I need words, slut." he grips my face tighter. "yes sir, I'll be so good for y'all"

"that's what I thought. can I have her Sam?" he looks at him. "all yours." Colby takes me to his room as Sam follows. he tossed me carelessly on his bed and I look over to see the hoodie I wore over here. 'oh hey there's my hoodie..... what's that?' I question. i pick it up and I see there's cum on it. i look at Colby to see that him and Sam are setting up a camera. 'shit... they're gonna record this.'

"hey Colby?" i ask. he comes over and runs his hands on my chest. "yes baby?" "uhm why is there-" "cum on 'your' hoodie?" he finishes for me. he leans down and starts to smell my stomach. "you smell angelic, sunshine. I couldn't resist."

Sam finishes setting up the camera and comes to where we are and starts pulling down his shorts. i hear the water filled shorts fall on the floor and Sam's cold hands touch my chest. "you ready for us, dear?" i nod my head as I feel two fingers slip into me. "what did I say about words, babes?" Colby grips my face again. "I'm sorry.... y-yes I'm ready" I answer.

Colby walks around to the other side of the bed and takes off his swim shorts. his dick slapping against the side of my face. Sam walks back over to the camera and starts recording. colbys tip presses against my lips, waiting to enter my mouth. Sam gets on his knees and grips my legs so they're over his shoulders. his tongue presses onto my clit ever so lightly. my cold hands run over colbys waist. i feel him shiver against my touch.

"you ready Sam?" Colby asks. "as I'll ever be." he answers. at the same time, Colby shoves his dick in my mouth as Sam slips his tongue in my pussy. i moan around Colby as he thrusts into me with no remorse, while Sam takes his times tasting me.

i get flipped over to where I'm on my stomach, not stopping my movements with Colby. sama nose brushes against my aching hole while he laps up my clit. 'colbys about to cum' I tell myself. i grab his waist like last time and deep throat the rest of him in me while he grips the back of my head, pushing me further than I was. his cum slipping down my throat.

my thighs clench around Sam's head as I'm nearing my high. "I can feel you, you bout to cum, love?" Sam teases. "mhm yes yes" I nod. "she's done such a good job, she deserves a reward" Colby coos as he lifts my head to look at him.

i reach that ever so god feeling high Sam gave me after denying me earlier and I get flipped back onto my back. "now darling, we won't hold back unless you want us to, mkay?" Sam says. i start to nod when I remember Colby. "yes sir" I say.

Sam lines himself up with my hole. Colby starts feeling my chest and stomach again, smelling all of me. Sam gives me a look saying 'you ready?' and I nod. "what did I say about using your words, slut?" Colby grabs my face with his hand again. "thats what? the third time? i think you need a punishment, hm?"

"no no no no please daddy m'sorry. won't happen again." i plead. "hm too late princess, now take my dick like the whore you are." he takes his opportunity and slides his dick back in my mouth

Sam pushes his way into me as I'm busy with Colby ramming his cock back into my throat. the pleasure from both of them is too much. 'i feel like I'm about to pee myself' I know I'm not but it feels like it. next thing I knew, I felt relieved of that pressure. i open my eyes to see both of them looking down at me and sams chest being all wet. i feel Sam and Colby throb in both my mouth and my pussy. "shit you're gonna need to do that more often sweetheart because that was so hot." Colby says as he lens down to smell me once more. his cock still gliding in and out of me.

Sam's thrusts get more erratic and Colby gets more harsh. i can tell both of them are about to cum, as am I. i pull Colby more into me because it seems to get him to cum and I pull my legs around Sam to pull him closer. i feel both of their cum dripping in me as they both pull out.

colby goes and gets a washcloth to clean us up as Sam stops recording and cleans himself up in the bathroom.

"I will definitely be sending this to you" Sam tells me

- - - - -

YAYAYA I DID IT

Also have some Sam and Colby pics

[yanderestarangel]

hello! i just found your blog and i've been obsessed with your writing <33 can i request a smut with a poly relationship with johnny and kenshi. i feel like they'd be so drastically different but work so well together in bed

HEADKANONKS MK1 | KENSHI TAKAHASHI X JOHNNY CAGE X READER

TW: afab anatomy, fluff, soft headcanons, threesome, smut, nsfw, double penetration, blowjob, kenshi and Johnny make out with each other, gay sex, anal sex, vibrators, ice play, switch!reader, sub!johnny, dom!kenshi, daddykink.

♡ A relationship with both of them at the same time would be quite an adventure. Kenshi is the balance between you and Johnny - he knows that if he leaves you two alone, you and Johnny might do crazy things and end up in jail, like the time you two accidentally set one of Johnny's cars on fire on a public street. -Kenshi had to pay the two of you bail, with Johnny's money of course -

♡ The three of you have a group on WhatsApp, everything you need to talk about you will talk about in that chat, be it gossip, news or even asking where each one is, when the other is away, you named your boyfriend's contact as "gay son " and "thot daughter" - I don't even need to say who is who, right? -

♡ Kenshi has the love language serving, showing that he cares about you and Johnny, if you ask to be carried or a glass of water or anything within his reach, he will do it.

Example: You, Kenshi and Johnny watching a movie on Saturday night, on Cage's king size bed, Kenshi on the left side, you in the middle and Johnny lying on your thighs as he took Kenshi's hand too. You felt thirsty but were too lazy to get up and help yourself, soon turning to Takahashi.

"-Can you get me a glass of water, my love?" -You asked calmly, smiling at the man who just waved and stood up.

"-Can you get it for me too baby girl?" -Johnny said laughing to Kenshi who gave the middle finger in response to the actor.

"-What's up Takahashi? I'm your boyfriend too!" -Cage said in response, as he looked at you pouting, you soon asked Kenshi to bring it to Johnny too, and he obeyed - he was already going to do it anyway, but he loved seeing Johnny beg and get angry and you knew it, affectionately in your other partner's hair.

♡ Johnny Cage has a different language, he likes to spend money on you and Kenshi, shopping in luxurious malls, sports cars, branded watches, everything you and Kenshi imagine and want is yours, just ask and Cage will move mountains if it takes to see you two smile.

♡ You live in Johnny's mansion, in the same room, in the same bed. If you're not used to sharing a bed, it's best to get used to it. Johnny will hug you, suffocating you on his chest, it's an uncontrollable and involuntary gesture of his, while placing one of his muscular thighs on top of you. Kenshi sleeps straight, with his stomach up, but sometimes he will also do the same as Johnny with you - you could barely breathe due to the weight of them together -

♡ Kenshi lends you his clothes, but tells you not to pass them on to Johnny, which you disobey and do the opposite, sometimes Johnny himself asks you to take Takahashi's shirts for him to wear, all to tease the poor swordsman.

"-I thought I asked for my shirt for you to wear, not Cage." -Kenshi said, laughing aside, watching Johnny parade around the house in his red satin shirt.

"-This blouse looks better on me than on you Takahashi, that's why our dear (Y/N) lent it to me." -Johnny said, giving you a kiss, and then another one with Kenshi, making him agree and not be angry with you two.

♡ Johnny will always take you two to his awards, he doesn't care about judgement, he has two extremely hot partners by his side, why would he be embarrassed?

♡ Kenshi and Johnny get along well, that is, your relationship has almost no fights, if you are insecure about something, especially with them being together more and leaving you out, they will sit down and talk, it's a little scary because it was The first time you saw Johnny was extremely serious, saying that he loves you equally as he loves Kenshi, and that he would never leave either of you for anything.

♡ They can work very well together in bed to give you pleasure, Kenshi loves being rougher and more dominant, watching you squirm and beg for him, Johnhy makes you excited and satiates you at the same time, he can't contain his dick in his pants. seeing you beg so beautifully for him and Kenshi to fuck you.

♡ Johnny likes to fuck your pussy with his fingers and tongue, while Kenshi loves watching you squirm, Johnny's fingers go on your clit while Takahashi pushes his dick into your pussy, both of them smiling as he sees you moan and turn into a crying mess. Cage would help Kenshi's dick enter you further or even suck Takahashi's dick while lying on your belly, to help lubricate the way.

♡ They both like to give double blowjobs, that is, your poor mouth will have both of their cocks at the same time, while they both smile and moan in unison, kissing each other sometimes while praising you for taking their cock so well.

♡ The three of you like to tease each other outside too, using vibrators. You would use a small internal oval, inside your pussy. Johnny would use it on his dick and inside him, while Kenshi used one only on his dick, the adrenaline was not knowing who would activate the speed or increase it, ending with Kenshi fucking Johnny while Johnny fucked you hard - Kenshi between Johnny's legs and you sitting down with your pussy in the movie star's mouth.

♡ They also like to do double penetration, with Kenshi going in your ass and Cage in your pussy, they accelerate the rhythm together, holding you between the two of them, while Johnny praises you, Kenshi degrades you...

♡ Kenshi will play with ice on your nipples, while Johnny used the cube to rub it on your clit, while you were blindfolded, completely at the mercy of both of them - you would have to guess which dick was entering your pussy at that moment, Kenshi's or Johnny's , both are thick and big, so you would have to use maximum touch to find out -

♡ When one or the other is tired, you can fuck him, you can always turn to your other partner. If Kenshi is too tired Johnny will fuck you on the mattress moaning and whimpering while Takahashi sleeps. If Johnny is too tired, Kenshi will fuck you all over the mansion and record the fuck for Cage to watch later - and obviously tease him -

♡ Johnny will also want to be fucked by you, don't have a dick? just grab a strap on and fuck his ass, he'll whimper at you while calling you "daddy/mommy" muffled by Kenshi's dick in his mouth.

Johnny smirks against your clit, his tongue swirling and flicking expertly, his lips occasionally sucking gently. The sensation sends shivers of pleasure coursing through your body. Meanwhile, Kenshi groans softly as you take him into your mouth, his tip hitting the back of your throat. His hand finds its way to your hair, gripping it gently, guiding your movements. You can feel the intensity building in both of them, their desire for you palpable in every touch and caress.

Johnny, his lips leaving a trail of wet kisses along your inner thigh, slowly moves up your body, his eyes locked with yours. He positions himself between your thighs, his erection pressing against your entrance. Kenshi, still enjoying the lust of your mouth, watches with an intense gaze. Johnny, lost in the waves of pleasure, moans deeply, his grip on your hips tightening. As Kenshi's thrusts grow more intense, he leans over Johnny, his voice dripping with domination.

"-You're such a greedy little slut, Johnny..." Kenshi sneers, his tone laced. "-Taking pleasure from both ends, unable to get enough. Look at you, being fucked like the naughty little whore you are." A mischievous smile tugs at your lips as you witness Kenshi pulling out of Johnny, leaving him panting and needy. You lock eyes with Johnny. Slowly, you lower yourself onto his hard cock, your tightness enveloping him completely.

Johnny's eyes widen with pleasure as he fills you, his grip on your hips tightening in an attempt to control his own urges. You move your body in slow, tantalizing motions, savoring the feeling of him deep inside you.

Meanwhile, Kenshi positions himself behind Johnny once again, his hands firmly gripping his hips. With a single fluid motion, he pushes back into Johnny's willing ass, eliciting a chorus of mixed moans and gasps from all three of you. Johnny's body trembles, his breath coming out in ragged gasps as he nears the edge of pleasure. He looks up at you with a mix of desire and desperation, his voice strained as he fights for control. "-Please...please let me cum. I need to release, to feel the warmth of your pussy and the grip of Kenshi's dick..."

Kenshi, his grip on your breasts tightening, thrusts into Johnny with a renewed vigor, adding to the overwhelming sensations coursing through all of you. Your eyes lock with Johnny's, a knowing smirk on your face as you give him permission to release. "-Cum for us, Johnny. Coat me with your warmth and feel the pleasure surge through you as Kenshi fills your tight ass."

With a final thrust, he pours his lust into your awaiting pussy, moaning out your name in ecstasy.

Simultaneously, Kenshi finds his release inside Johnny's willing ass, his body shuddering with pleasure and fulfillment. The intensity of the moment overwhelms you, the sensation of being filled from both ends heightening your own pleasure.

©YANDERESTARANGEL 2023

[hxney-lemcn]

Roses and Thorns — Riddle Rosehearts x gn! reader

summary: you had an affinity for teasing Riddle Rosehearts, others thought you had an affinity for death.

tw: none.

a/n: reader isn't Yuu. Reader is in Heartslabyul dorm.

wc: 0.6k

Master List

You wouldn’t call yourself extroverted. You went to class, did your school work, and chilled in your room when there wasn’t an unbirthday party. But it seemed like you had a death wish with how easily you found yourself teasing the Heartslabyul housewarden. You weren’t sure why, it was somewhat difficult for you to talk to others, but Riddle Rosehearts seemed to make you lose your filter.

The two of you were in the same year, and you found yourself deskmates within your first class. You found it funny how strict Riddle was about himself, and you couldn’t help but wonder if others saw you similarly since you were also a bit of a goody two shoes. At least you didn’t scold people the way Riddle did when they broke a rule. Like stated before, you mainly kept to yourself. 

You suppose you slightly had a reason why it was so easy for you to tease him. He was just downright adorable. It was hard to ignore his short stature and just how easy it was to turn him red. It was hard to take his scolding seriously, even if it ended with a collar around your neck.

Unfortunately for the Heartslabyul dorm, an unbirthday party was coming up and you were tasked with painting the roses red. It was quite the tedious task, especially with trying not to rip the roses out to make sure it was completely red. There you were, the sun beating down on you, causing you to sweat slightly. It was already a long day due to classes, and doing more work after wasn’t helping you.

“Keep it up! At this pace only a quarter of the roses will be painted,” Riddle shouted, almost causing you to spill the paint you had. Perfect, you were wanting a distraction.

Turning around, you pouted at the red head, “Ah Riddle, we’re supposed to paint all the roses, right?”

Riddle watched you with suspicion in his gaze, “Of course. You know this already.” 

Lifting your paint brush, you waved it at him, a sly smirk lifting your lips, “Then stay still, I gotta paint you too.” Riddle froze, shoulders seizing up as his cheeks turned scarlet. He stumbled over his words, the blush only growing. Your smirk only widened as you suppressed a chuckle, “Ah never mind, seems like I didn’t even need a brush.”

“O-OFF WITH YOUR HEAD!” He shouted, holding his pen at you. Your shoulders sagged as the familiar weight of Riddle’s signature spell rested around your neck. It wasn’t comfortable but you felt a sense of pride that you had managed to make him lose his composure in such a way…others thought you were crazy. The other dorm members watched on, some in amusement, others with a macabre fascination. 

“You’re so mean to me,” You whined, your pout reappearing. “I don’t recall breaking any rules.”

“You must c-cease your teasing,” Riddle stuttered, trying to regain his composure. “As your housewarden, I require your full r-respect.”

You placed your chin in your hand, faking thought, “I don’t remember disrespecting you. Ah, and however will I paint roses with this collar weighing me down?” Riddle couldn’t rebuttal your claims. Technically, you hadn’t disrespected him, in fact…you basically complimented him. You alluded to him being a rose. Just the thought turned him red all over again. With a huff, he removed the collar, unable to make eye contact. 

“Let this be a lesson,” Riddle spoke, his arms crossed over his chest. “Next time I won’t be so nice.” He says something similar every time. You merely grinned at him, and he found his heart beating erratically at the sight. Oh the things you do to him, he’s going to have a heart attack if you don’t stop your nonsense. 

“I’m sorry Riddle,” You apologized, clearly not sorry at all. “You’re just too cute.”

You nearly lost your head a second time.

[borwski]

spymaster, becoming the doctor, and gardening – a little character study

anyone else obsessed with the master and margarita short story?? no?? just me?? oh well you’re getting a character analysis anyway, long rant about spymasters obsession with the doctor via mushrooms under the cut :3

tw for dissociation and substance induced hallucinations (weird ahh mushrooms as torture)

for those of you who haven’t read the master and margarita (i def recommend its super fun) it’s about what dhawan!master was doing during his 77 years on earth in that time skip during spyfall 2. he’s a mushroom farmer in russia, crazy hijinks and thoschei references ensue. maybe i’m going too deep into it but i really love the idea of him as a gardener and what that implies for everything we see in ttc/potd

i’d like to start with the fact that out of all the masters, dhawans is the one least confident in his identity. classic who masters and saxon held their title with pride with their “he’s the master and you will obey him” shtick. missy, even when she was debating her morality, never saw herself as anything other than missy. her title wasn’t being questioned, it was what she chose to do with it. meanwhile, spymaster just... loses himself after looking into the panopticon. he’s faced with the reality that the doctor is more important than he could ever be, and given that he sees his worth as interwoven with hers (the history between us, constantly refers back to their past/when they were equal), this makes him lose all sense of self. it used to be theta and koschei. the doctor and the master. now it’s just the timeless child and….. that’s it. there’s no significant place for him in her life. what’s he supposed to do now, when he’s based his whole history around her?

easy! fracture himself into different personalities, hide behind disguises (i mean, THREE disguises in one episode? calm down dude) in an attempt to hide his unimportance. while the timeless child is the story of child abuse and colonialism, a hurt the doctor will have to live with even if she can’t remember it, the master sees it as a triumph. he is lesser. she is the timeless child and she has existed forever and he is some dumb timelord who fell in love and meant nothing to her in the long-run. he feels like he’s not deserving of being in his own skin anymore so he hides behind whatever name and personality he can find.

but the thing about all his disguises is that they are so human. agent o, a shy little analyst at MI6 with the wide eyed stare and wits to be the doctor’s companion. rasputin, famous bachelor and a piece of history the doctor would notice. he says he despises humans but he dresses up as them because well, do you know who does love them? the doctor :(

which is why his name and intentions in the master and margarita are soooo so interesting to me. first off, his human alias is mikhail (“son of god”, writer of the og master and margarita) afanasyevich (“immortal”, also the og writer of master and margarita) gospodinov (roughly translated to “lord” and “master”). he steals a name, just like rasputin in potd, with a lot of weight on who he is right now. an emphasis on “immortal” “time lord” when hes dealing with the pressure of ttc. hes basically copying the doctor and making a title for himself like the ‘timeless child’ to feel equal again. it’s not the only time he copies the doctor either, hes basically working for “evil russian unit” in this short story. 

(remind you of anything?? yes im talking about the doctor-master. super cool foreshadowing on how hes been trying to become/be one with the doctor before potd)

and it’s literally in the text. the whole reason he spends months cultivating mushrooms for russia is to change history a bit so that jo grant’s marriage will be ruined. such a Doctor thing to do, kind of parallels clara and danny. to love a human is to be overly dramatic over them. the master, again, uses humans for his own benefit but has never been overly fond of them, with the exception of the doctors little companions. hes copying her again.

but the thing is, he keeps cultivating them. he gains a love for caring for them. mushrooms are just mushrooms until they arent. in a time where he thinks he’s the doctors opposite, he begins farming mushrooms bc of jo grant, a detail the doctor would remember just bc he misses her. he couldve spent his time escaping and getting back to his regular timeline to defeat the doctor, but he stayed. because of a human attachment. very doctor-y.

and if that bit of nostalgia wasn’t enough, he even hallucinates the third doctor in this. Which. okay. give me a non-thoschei explanation for this.

i just really like what that short story has to offer as far as the masters obsession with other people and his disguises go. and what it means for him to spend months of his live caring for something, like the doctor would, when all hes done before is kill. what does it mean for the champion of death to cultivate life :(

nyways, if you made it this far, i really hope you enjoyed !! i just love talking about spymaster can you tell lmfaooo and if you liked any of this id recommend reading the gardener by ritheh on ao3 which expands on his whole “killer heals for once” thing its soooo good <33 ok bye see u guys next time

[aveadore]

Tumblr, hear out my Arcane thoughts. Some of it is slander, though, so don’t read if it’ll bum you out. In the end, I decided to go with one topic mostly, because I had too much to say.

Spoilers, obviously

Tw: suicide

The way the show handles suicide is SO irresponsible. Call it heroic sacrifice, if you must, but I won’t. The same song that played before, during Jinx’s attempts, played again, during her sacrifice, so the intention is clear.

Do they not realize that so many people that relate to Jinx in some ways are watching it? It’s like they are trying to say: “yes, your intrusive thoughts are right, you are better off not being there. It’s best for your loved ones, if you disappear.” So weird. And, fine, she’s probably not dead. But why hide it? Why not make her end be, openly: “sometimes, you can only heal if you cut everyone off and start anew” Fine. That would be way better. I just can’t believe that such a high profile show, in year 2024, uses suicide in such an irresponsible way. Makes it “cool” looking, gives vulnerable people a playlist, actually. Says “wait a minute, not yet”, and later LETS HER FINISH IT? Wft. Like it’s okay? Like it’s a good end for her?

Isha’s story is also part of this problem. I can’t believe her earlier end was not mentioned later. What was the point of it? Was it a good thing for a seven year old to sacrifice herself? You would think so, they way the show sidesteps the whole thing. The way Jinx is repeating what Isha had done, with no reflection on it. I also have no idea WHY Isha has done it. Was it a consequence of something someone else did, or said? Didn’t seem so. Jinx didn’t really fuck that one up, I think. I thought Isha was jinx’s foil, but it ended up not meaning anything. Was it going to show Jinx her own actions as a child, so she could find some empathy towards Vi? But Isha was not mentioned, so who knows what they were trying to say.

Summary of my other opinions, with no details as it’s too long already:

-I liked Victor and Jayce’s ending. Their relationship had enough time/buildup throughout the whole series to pull of the weight of it. It was a little bit rushed at times, but not as much as the rest of S2.

-I absolutely hated how they handled Cait, and she definitely ended up as my most disliked character.

-Mel was one of my favourites, but her story was the most rushed one is S2. I also wasn’t crazy happy that she also ended up mostly fighting at the end. I have no idea what the Black Rose lady was talking about with the whole empathy thing.

-I really liked episode 7, it was the best one from S2. Because they focused only on Ekko and Jayce, the story had time to breathe. The whiplash between their parts was crazy, but in a good way.

-The way they introduced the third faction, just so all main characters could unite was such a cop-out. The systemic problems were much too big to just be fixed by that, and the show just brushes it all under the rug. And the end is just fighting. Ugh.

-Well, it was obviously very pretty. Every frame a perfect picture and all that. Weird complaint, but some designs were “too good”. Too polished. Too much like a high-end commercial for a new skin that costs 200$. It was so distracting for me :P Especially with some Victor “outfits”

-The biggest, most pervasive problem was the time. So much stuff, so little time. It should have been three seasons. There was no time to breathe, no time to understand what’s going on. Characters running from one massive scene to next, with no build-up in between. Just so everyone can end up similar enough to their LoL variant. A bit disappointing.

[idontknowanametouse]

Straw Hat girlies headcanons! (Sanji included cuz transfem bigender Sanji lives rent free in my head. Also Bonney cuz why not; And Vivi is on the straw hats I don't care)

TW: mention of sexual abuse and other kinds of abuse, and also the trauma that comes with it

Nami

Autistic, but developed the habit of masking. Has been learning to undo it around her crew. Special interest? Maps, maps, maps. Tangerines are comfort food. She also has hypersensitivity to clothes, so she picks them very carefully. Her meltdowns are often, they come when she is emotionally overloaded, and she usually needs to stay alone to calm down.

After her meltdown in Arlong Park, her arm got paralyzed due to nerve damage. Now, she uses a sling to keep it always in place and not get hurt. Her tatoo covers a little, but not all her stabbing scars.

She has PTSD due to Bellemere's death, her enslavery and also due to being a survivor of SA. Has been doing therapy sessions with Chopper (he is learning about human psychology in order to help the crew) to help cope with it and receives help and support from the rest of the crew.

VERY pale, but due to spending so much time in the sea and under the sun, she ends up having many, many freckles through all of her body. Usually keeps wavy hair in ponytail due to it being really long.

Lesbian, loves girlies. Dating Vivi ever since they set foot in Alabasta. Clings to her so much it looks like they can't be separated. Also, Vivi was her lesbian awakening in the way of "wait, I think I like girls romantically???? And they are also hot????"

When she first entered the crew, she was underweight, almost malnourished, due to never having enough food and saving almost all money to save her village. However, after Arlong Park, she started gaining weight with the help of Sanji and Chopper. Now, she is fat, healthy and happy.

Loves orange, but also blue (no, it's not to match Vivi, shut the fuck up Usopp)

Swears and yells a lot. Has low voice tone control, actually.

Sometimes, when she is sad, she speaks to her tangerines as if Bellemere was there, as it feels comforting.

Ever since she received news that Cocoyashi Village got a Den Den Mushi, she calls them everyweek to tell Nojiko and Genzo about hers and the strawhat's adventures.

Besties with Usopp and Zoro, they talk shit about everyone. Gossip friends with Robin. Is one of the few people that can make Luffy not destroy an entire fucking island. Jinbei's second daughter (first is Koala).

Loves Beyoncé, rap and brazillian funk (Luffy introduced her to it) (yeah, I know this is a more modern-au like one, but let me have my headcanons ok).

Due to high sensitivity to clothes, she usually wears beach-like clothing cause they are light and let most of her skin exposed, so she can feel better the weather.

Terrified of bugs AND bats. Almost fainted when she first heard about vampires and now is fucking terrified of the possibility.

Likes drawing, not only maps, but her crewmates too. She is really good at it, however, she won't show it to anyone, just Nojiko (she's embarassed).

Only wears makeup and/or does different hairtyles in special occasions, as she finds it to be very inconvenient when they are on the sea.

Watching and hearing the sea is a nice visual stim. It helps her to calm down from the crazy thing that is day-to-day life with the straw hats.

She may say shit about her friends sometimes, but will absolutely kill you if you say anything bad about them.

Sanji

Autistic, special interest is fishes and the All Blue. Cooking is so stimmy hmmmm. Does not realize when she is being way too much on others. Even though he doesn't seem like, is very picking about food, can't handle anything made in a shit way. Has shutdowns instead of meltdowns as trauma response, and needs to stay around the crew these times.

Has PTSD due to constant abuse in childhood and from being stuck on the rock-island with Zeff (and also due to Zeff eating his leg). Due to never telling about it to anyone, he tried to hide it from the crew because of self-loathing, but after Whole Cake Island, the moments of crisis and panic attacks were so frequent it turned impossible. He is now working on it with Chopper, just like the rest of the crew.

Tall, with very strong legs with many scars on them. Has leg and facial hair, but, after Momoiro Island, she let her wavy hair grow and now keeps it in a bun, still with the part in front of the eye, of course.

Egg cracked with Ivankov, about both gender AND sexuality. Bi queen. Even though he didn't want to pass through surgeon (aka Ivankov's fruit) he still got a lot of help from the newkama. Also learned he loves drag and will do it sometimes for the crew.

Learned ballet as a kid from Reiju and his mom. Even though he always practiced it in secret, it came out once she started to do drag (on her shows, she uses ballet steps a lot).

Fave colors are yellow and blue, it feels soft.

Swears a lot. Zeff did swear a lot back on Baratie, after all.

Calls Zeff monthly to tell how things are going. Sometimes, after this, she cries a little.

Started dating Zoro shortly before timeskip and was afraid of how he'd react to the whole trans thing, but he couldn't care less. She cried over a week because of this.

Loves woman with all of her heart, specially her crew's ones. Not in a more sexual like way, but in a whole-heartdly way. Besties with Usopp, surprisingly VERY friends with Brook.

Listens to classical and french music, but sometimes likes some rock and roll.

Has three types of clothes: suits, dresses and a suit with a short and skirt. No matter the look, is always with ballet shoes.

Fucking scared of bugs. And pigeons. Don't ask, ok?

Sings very well, but doesn't like to show it. Only does it on the bathroom, but everybody ends up listening. They don't comment cause the single time they did they thought Sanji was having a heart attack.

Adores make-up and diverse hairtyling, finds it to be really cute.

Usually rocking back and forth on her feet, it feels nice.

Once kicked a guy to uncosciousness when he touched her butt.

Vivi

Autistic, has those big bug autism eyes, even though she masks well she cannot function daily without help, Karoo is her therapy animal, special interest in bugs (shares it with Luffy), has meltdowns whenever she knows she is completely alone and helpless.

Developed some level of paranoia after being infiltrated in Baroque Works, and sometimes has frenzys in which she thinks she is back there and that Alabasta is still in danger. It diminuted drastically after Chopper developed a medicine for her, but it still happens sometimes. Those moments, she can turn aggressive and needs to stay only with Karoo so she can calm down.

Has brown skin and some tatoos typical from the Nefertari family. She is short and skinny, and the secret nobody can absolutely know is that she dyes her (curly) hair blue (it's her favorite color and her mom used to do the same, so, she dyes it. Nobody other than Nami can know though).

Lesbian, her first crush was Miss All Sunday (it didn't last much, but o boi, how many nights she spent thinking about how ABSOLUTELY WRONG having a crush on your enemy is). Had an immediate crush in Nami, but couldn't say it cuz of the whole Miss Wednesday thing. They kissed after they left Drum Island and started dating at Alabasta.

Deals with the guilt of being with the strawhats instead of Alabasta very often, and likes having hugs so it can go away.

Favourite color is blue, but not all blue, just sky-blue.

Never swears, feels a little embarassed whenever someone does.

Resolves troubles from Alabasta through Den Den Mushi, that way she doesn't get that much worried. Also keeps in contact with her dad, Pell and Igaram.

Even though they had a complicated relationship at the start, Robin and her ended up being very friends, they love parallel playing (honestly, who doesn't?). Also very close to Luffy and Yamato, the one that keeps a leash on the two of them, relates a lot to Zoro in that aspect.

Loves bubblegum pop, an absolute Swiftie. Sometimes also compelled to Aurora and Halsey.

Whenever they go to an island, she likes keeping her formal clothes (after all, she is the crew's diplomat!). In fights, she uses more simple clothes and a mask to keep her identity hidden. In the ship, however, you'll always find her in pajamas (no, she is not always sleeping, Zoro does that very well for the whole crew).

Is scared of the sea, even though she can swim, nobody knows why.

Likes dancing and presenting to the crew, but the crew only. If some outsider is there, she won't dance at all. Likes helping Sanji with the choreography of her drag shows.

Likes makeup, but hates stylizing her hair. She is absolutely terrible at it, so she just keeps it in a ponytail during fights and that's it, that's the best you can get from her.

Likes playing and fidgeting with small things like coins, buttons, rubik cubes, pebbles and stuff like that. Usually has something in her hand.

Feels bad for being one the weakest crew members, but is always cheered up by the rest. After all, she doesn't need to fight to be nakama, even though she can kick some asses.

Robin

Autistic. Weirdgirl, big autistic stare, says every single creepy fact she knows in not very good situations, no social cues get to her head, never masks, almost always same expression and tone, special interest in history, does not know how to function normally, has auditory and light hypersensitivity, meltdowns caused by way too much light, sound and visual information.

Has PTSD due to the destruction of Ohara, living her childhood, teenagehood and adult years as a runaway and being constantly betrayed and abandoned. She sometimes has moments of profound anxiety in which she asks herself if she is gonna lose her family. Chopper helps her a lot with it, and, when she has those crisis, she gets a hug from everyone anytime she asks for it.

Very tall, with a few specific parts of her body being thicker than the rest. Her skin is dark, with many scars through all of it, and she has blue eyes and long (but not as long as Nami's or Yamato's), straight black hair.

Trans woman, found out during early childhood, and bisexual queen. Even though she was never in a relationship before entering the crew, she was with a few people before. Franky is the first guy she is with, and also the first person she dates. It's a bit scary for both, but feels also really, really good.

She was underweight most of her life due to the inconstancy of her nutrition and life situation, but in Baroque Works she had lots of food. She thought a pirate crew wouldn't care about their nutrition or food, but it was opposite. Even though she does not gain weight easily, her sillouette, that was VERY slim before, became thicker in a few points. Not much, she still is thin, but it's less ill-looking.

Favorite color is purple, black and dark blue. Goth girl Robin is real.

Does not swear, but says such weird, creepy and worrying stuff it makes everyone wish she did. It would be less scary.

Loves organizing stuff, for some reason. If you leave her alone in a messy room, in a short time it will be very nice-looking and clean. She has fun with it!

After some initial tension, she started taking care of Vivi like a big sister. Was called "mom" by Chopper once and almost had a heart attack. Enjoys parallel playing with Zoro and Law, scaring Usopp and playfully flirting with Jinbei (Franky loves this, it makes them laugh how embarassed it makes Jinbei look).

Likes goth and punk music, it feels very nice to her. Also loves horror-like classical music, it helps her to sleep (weirgirl Robin weirdgirl Robin weirdgirl Robin-).

Even though she appreciates goth fashion, it's not really for her. She prefers long, purple jackets to her elbow over dark flower-pattern dresses, dark boots and her cowboy hat with sunglasses (they help her with light sensitivity and it also looks really cool).

Absolutely HATES to be around statues. They just get a nerve on her. It feels awful, she wants to break them in half so they stop looking at her.

Likes sending messages to the crew in the vitorian flower language. Nobody gets it, but they try. She keeps infodumping about it, so they can get at least a few things.

Doesn't like makeup very much, but simple hairtyling is nice. She will experiment on it, but only in particular.

Makes many vocal stims. They variate from humming to speaking random syllabes to screaming out loud. The crew has gotten used to it. Stimming with her akuma no mi also feels very nice.

Has broken more necks than you would think. Is also nicer than you would think.

Bonney

Autistic. Very loud, has no control over her tone, emotionally extreme, no social abilities, pizza is her comfort food, has hyposensitivity to sounds and lights, sarcasm queen but doesn't get other's sarcasm or lies, has meltdowns because of people fighting that involve a lot of self harm.

Has night terror with her dad being chained and his death. She needs to go to Luffy so she can hug him and feel better. Also has hyperactivity and needs medicines from Chopper so she can sleep and focus on stuff.

Small for her age, has white skin that is also tan due to the sun, likes putting piercings through her body (Chopper is scandalized), has brown eyes and hair, which she dyes pink cuz she knows her mom did as well.

Transfem demigirl, came out when she was 7 and told her dad "I wanna be a girl" "alright" and that was it. Didn't know what was a period until Chopper explained, and then got reliefed she didn't get that shit.

Eats A LOT, but runs so much throughout all of the ship all the day through it basically doesn't affect her body in a noticeable way. Shares this fact with Luffy.

Favorite color is pink, all of them. Does not matter the tones, if it's pink, she loves it.

Learned to swear on her time as a pirate. Does it on a daily basis.

Always speaks to her dad when she feels alone. It makes her feel better, to think he is accompanying her journey with the straw hats.

Likes smelling stuff. Sometimes looks like a dog while doing it. She just can feel the vibes of the person through their smell. She warns the crew whenever she smells evil. She is never wrong.

Calls everyone her big siblings. Luffy's apprentice, spends much time with him, specially when they are eating. Is spoiled rotten by Sanji, he loves when she asks for food. Loves being carried by Zoro, Yamato, Brook, Franky and Jinbei. Never gets tired of hearing Usopp's stories. Besties with Chopper.

Loves pop and rock, always sings along while screaming.

Always wearing clothes way too big for her size cuz of her akuma no mi, likes wearing bubblegum-pop and tiktok like clothes.

Scared of labs and doctors. Had to be convinced throughout an entire week to do her first check-up on Chopper. She is now ok around him, but other doctors are terrifying (she keeps trying to find out where Law hides the bodies he obviously kills. He is called death surgeon, come on).

Likes hearing Robin read books for her and Chopper. It's nice and recalls her home, plus Robin's voice is really sweet.

Loves experimenting on makeup, specially with help of the girls, but hair is too complicated. When she is not with her hat, she keeps the hair in a bandana and that's it. Plus it's always messy and she has a hard time combing it.

Stims by running. A LOT. And jumping. Whenever she thinks something interesting, she goes through the entire ship, down and up, until she falls on the sea and someone has to get her.

Can kick ass, but is still a child, so the crew kind of... overprotects her a little. Basically, if she gets hurt in battle, prepare to die. Very painfully.

[mayhem-things]

Pelle Ohlin x reader / pull of death

Another oneshot today cause why not.

Dead and his girlfriend climb on the rooftop and soon they talk about death and its meaning

(1218 words)

tw: mentioning of suicide

----------------------------------

Pelle sat in his dimly lit room, surrounded by posters of his favorite black metal bands. His girlfriend, Y/N, watched him curiously as he stared out the window, his eyes reflecting the fading light of the setting sun.

"Pelle, what are you thinking?" she asked, concern etched across her face.

He turned to her with a mischievous smile, his eyes gleaming with excitement.

"Let's climb onto the roof," he said. Her eyebrows shot up in surprise.

"Are you serious? That's insane!"

"That's the fun about it,"

Dead replied, his voice filled with an odd mixture of enthusiasm and darkness. He pushed the window open and began to climb out, his pale figure disappearing onto the rooftop.

Y/N sighed, realizing she had no choice but to follow him. She carefully made her way out of the window, her heart pounding in her chest as the air of the night waved upon her skin. She knew this was a stupid idea, but she wanted to keep an eye on Dead to ensure he didn't do anything too dangerous like jumping. The fear of falling rushed through her veins yet she managed to safely get on top.

They stood side by side on the rooftop, feeling the cool night breeze on their skin. The world stretched out before them, the stars shining brightly in the velvety skye.

"You're absolutely insane, Pelle"

Y/N said, shaking her head.

"What possesses you to do things like this?"

Dead looked at her, his eyes softening for a moment as honesty spoke for him.

"Sometimes, Y/N, I feel like I don't belong in this world. The darkness inside me can be overwhelming, but it's also what fuels my creativity. It's what makes me who I am."

She listened intently, her eyes searching his face for answers. She knew there was a deep pain within him, hidden beneath his enigmatic persona.

"I can't change who I am, Y/N," Dead continued. 

"But when I'm with you, I feel a sense of peace. You ground me, you make me feel alive. And in this moment, with you here beside me, I don't feel alone."

Touched by his vulnerability, she reached out and took his hand in hers.

"You're not alone, Dead. I'll always be here for you, no matter how crazy your ideas are."

He smiled softly, his fingers intertwining with hers. Leaning in, Dead placed a gentle kiss on her forehead, the gesture filled with tenderness and gratitude.

As Dead and Y/N sat on the rooftop, their bodies huddled close together, the weight of the night pressed upon them. The conversation shifted to a topic that resonated deeply within Dead's tormented soul

death.

"Y/N" Dead began, his voice filled with a mixture of sorrow and curiosity,

"have you ever thought about death? About what lies beyond?"

Y/N gazed into Dead's eyes, searching for a glimmer of understanding. She knew this topic was a wellspring of complex emotions for him, and she wanted to tread carefully.

"Yes, Pelle" she replied softly, her voice laced with compassion.

"Death is a mysterious and profound concept. It's something we all face, yet it remains shrouded in uncertainty."

A heavy silence hung between them, as if the weight of mortality itself had settled upon their shoulders. Dead's grip on Y/N's hand tightened, seeking solace in her presence.

"I've always had an uneasy relationship with death," Dead confessed, his voice tinged with vulnerability.

"Sometimes, I feel its cold embrace beckoning me, whispering its seductive promises. Other times, I'm gripped by an overwhelming fear of the unknown, of what awaits on the other side."

She listened intently, her heart aching for the pain that Death carried within him. The way he let out those words sounded almost as if he planned on finding out, which resulted in her, feeling a wave of uncertainty how to reply. She squeezed his hand reassuringly, her touch serving as an anchor amidst the swirling abyss of his thoughts.

"You're not alone in your contemplations, Pelle" she murmured, her voice steady.

"Many people grapple with the same questions, the same fears. It's a journey we all embark upon, whether we're ready or not."

Dead's gaze turned to the starry sky above, as if seeking answers amidst the celestial tapestry. He was oddly quiet as that was the usual response he would get when asking that question

 "Do you think death is the end,Y/N? Or is there something more?"

She pondered his words for a moment, choosing her response carefully.

"I believe that death is a gateway to something beyond our comprehension. Whether it's an eternal oblivion or a continuation of existence in some form, we can't say for certain. But perhaps, in the face of uncertainty, it's the meaning we find in life that truly matters."

A gentle breeze rustled their hair, as if nature itself whispered its wisdom into their ears. Dead leaned his head against her's, their foreheads touching in a shared moment of contemplation.

"Perhaps you're right," Dead whispered, his voice laden with hidden thoughts of finding out what death actually means. 

"I love you Y/N" he assured her , calming her down to not embrace her to the real thoughts of his. Dead didn't want her to worry  about him.

She smiled, her heart swelling with love for the complex soul beside her. 

"I love you too Pelle."

As the conversation about death subsided, the both of them found themselves yearning for a moment of respite from the weighty topics that had consumed their thoughts. They decided to lie down on the rooftop, their bodies intertwined, seeking comfort and warmth in each other's embrace.

The night sky stretched out above them, a canvas of twinkling stars that seemed to mirror the countless thoughts swirling within Dead's troubled mind. He cradled her close, his arm wrapped protectively around her, cherishing the solace they found in each other's presence.

Y/N nestled her head against Dead's chest, listening to the steady rhythm of his heartbeat. She could sense the lingering weight of his contemplations, but she respected his need for privacy. With gentle strokes of her hand along his arm, she conveyed her silent support.

The wind whispered softly, carrying their worries away into the vastness of the night. Dead closed his eyes, his mind consumed by thoughts of mortality. He grappled with the darkness that often threatened to consume him, but he couldn't bear to burden her with the depth of his despair.

In that moment, Dead made a silent promise to himself. He vowed to cherish every fleeting breath, to find solace in the moments of light amidst the shadows for every second he spends with his beloved girlfriend. He would guard his thoughts, shield her from the darkest corners of his mind, for her love was a beacon of hope, a reminder of the beauty that still existed within the chaos called life.

Y/N, sensing the weight of Dead's unspoken struggles, pressed herself closer, as if trying to convey her unwavering presence and understanding. She traced delicate patterns on his chest, her touch radiating a soothing warmth that penetrated the layers of his sorrow.

A sense of tranquility settled over them, cocooning them in a bubble of shared affection. They lay there, side by side, hearts beating in sync, finding solace in the simplicity of touch and the profound bond they shared.

As the night deepened, the stars continued to twinkle above, lending a gentle luminescence to their private sanctuary.

For now, they allowed themselves to exist in this tender moment, a sanctuary amidst the uncertainty of life and the haunting specter of death. 

[beanibon]

i like to think knives would consider himself above a god, someone a higher being than the highest of them all,, so hear me out, god reader getting absolutely railed by him.

that is the whole thought. 🧍‍♂️

Anon, istg you have the biggest brain. I hope you know I'm going feral on this post, and making some crazy ass shit up.

TW: smut, slight dubcon, giantess (sorrynotsorry, I need some size difference in my life), size difference, breast feeding (don't judge), female Pronouns but you also have a massive cock, slight oral, slight suffocation.

Cum All Ye Faithful

Mortals, so small, insignificant to a being such as yourself. Overlooking their menial tasks, though you could appreciate the determination they perceived with each obstacle. Your precious little humans, doing their darnedest so survive the horrors of this desolate planet.

"And here you are, degrading such sweet creatures." You glanced at the creation in your presence, legs kicking as he squirmed under your weight.

This being may be man-made, but a creation he was nonetheless. A cute one at that. A pity it was filled with hatred for those you protected, nothing will change that, not even the excruciating erection he spouted at your advances.

A pitiful sigh escaped you, releasing the being known as a Plant, only to hear his awful speech of anger.

"You dare treat me this way? A God!? I'll smite you for poisoning me, crush you beneath me like the ant you are!"

Your laughter had him seeing red, those funny little tendrils whipping out. "Me the ant? Aren't you so adorable! And here you are, half the the size of me."

With his face red with embarrassment, trying to look anywhere but your distracting chest, you took the opportunity to hoist him in the air. The verbal abuse you got was nothing, it was actually rather amusing to listen to. This tiny man, screaming obscenities like some big scary hell hound, when in reality he was some bad tempered chihuahua.

"Knives, was it? You need to learn how to loosen up, especially in the presence of a holy being. Actual gods don't talk like that, unlike you we have nothing to prove. So, relax." Your tongue rolled out from between your lips, that precious creation cradled gently within your hands. His bare body tasted so sinful, it certainly looked better without that hideously tempting skin tight suit. Now you could admire that alien genitalia, how it's petals opened upon contact.

"Such a pretty sight you are, see how your goddess treats you? With kindness despite your acts of violence against my precious humans." Your mouth engulfed his erection, suckling against it until that sweet nectar lathered your tastebuds.

Knives squirmed, fought against these profound advances. Treating a being of higher power like this!? He'd kill you, slay you where you stood!

"Wi-witch! Release me! Or I'll- AH~" His eyes rolled into the back of his skull, lips forming an 'O' as your fingers pinched at his nipples.

These sensations were bizarre, foreign and a mixture of enjoyable and distasteful. Yet Knives couldn't combat against the way you so delicately placed him down, the bed covered in the softest blankets, pillows and much more. There he was able to properly take in your glory, lips pressed against his body, leaving tingling sensations along every spot you kissed.

Oddly, he began to yearn for your touches, eyes hooded as his vision began to blur. It was as if he was seeing the gates of heaven open for the first time, greeted by the beauty of an actual god.

"Calming down now are we? That's good, let that negativity disappear. Open your mouth."

Obediently he obliged, mouth opened as he awaited for whatever you desired from his mortal vessel. That sweet, welcoming mouth engulfed your perked nipple, instinctively sucking the sensitive bud.

You admired how docile he became, the perfumed sheets doing wonders with numbing that mind of his. Now to simply make sure he'll survive the next part.

Knives let out a muffled choking sound, surprised as liquid filled his mouth. Warm, creamy, and slightly addictive as you smirked. Already his cock grew hard, prodding into your stomach, but he wouldn't have a chance to use it.

No, you had something much more special in mind.

Once freed from your little pets obedient feeding, you flipped Knives over as he gasped for air, shuffling his ass in the air. Ignoring how he cried out in protest, clawing at those feather filled pillows, you spread his cheeks apart spitting against his puckering hole.

"The hell are you doing!? I thou-"

"Then you thought wrong. I'm sorry, but even though you're so adorably obedient, I still unfortunately have to punish you." You looked saddened at the prospect of turning down an opportunity to feel that cock inside yourself, a wasted opportunity truly.

"Wha-what the hell do you even mean?" Knives shuddered, ceasing all resistance to look up at you, his expression shocked and confused.

You simply offered a pitying smile. "For being so cruel to my sweet humans, you must be punished. I promise I'll try to make it enjoyable, for you that is! I know I'll be having a blast!'"

That sweet laugh was no longer sweet like candy. No. It held something more daunting beneath it, and Knives began to whimper pathetically.

For years he considered himself a god, a being of higher power that could crush blasphemors under his feet. But now, he realised the unfortunate, cruel truth. He was simply another pawn in a greater being's plan, a true god, one that deceived him into a false sense of security and pleasure.

How the hell was he going to explain his inability to walk straight the following morning?

Knives gasped out a strangled cry, knees touched together as your cock began filling him. It was massive, already stretching him to his absolute limits. Yet no matter how much he cried, begged for you to allow him time to adjust, he was met with that taunting laughter.

"And how many times did my creations beg for you to stop? Too many times to count, so you won't receive any mercy from me. No matter how much you squeeze me, just think you'll be rewarded afterwards, when you've received your fair punishment."

Stomach swelling with your cock buried deep inside him, his own leaking copious amounts of cum. From merely stretching him, Knives had already came twice, you felt your stomach flutter with how much you were going to ruin him.

You let out a hum, the view wasn't all that satisfying. Not when he insisted on burying his face into your pillows, hiding the shame from his predicament.

Gently, you flipped him around, his moans music to your ears. Finally you could see your cock, stuffed deep inside his ass. And what a sight it was.

Slowly you began moving, your thrusts soft and slow, thumbs kneading his stomach until he groaned. Just feeling your own cock through those chiselled abs was pure bliss, but seeing his tiny cock squirt juices against himself was even better.

Knives became quite vocal, moaning constantly as his insides were rearranged. Drool pooled around the corners of his mouth, tears staining his beautiful, pale cheeks. The best part was how his skin shone a vibrant blue, those patterns glowing as overstimulation overwhelmed him.

You couldn't help but to trace those patterns, fingers brushing against his skin, Knives squirming under your touches. Your lips pressed against his, tongue snaking its way into his mouth, tasting every crevice you could reach. Unaware you were suffocating the poor plant.

A single string of saliva kept you two connected, that and your thrusting cock in his ass. Still, you decided that his own could use some attention.

Leaning down, your stomach pressed against Knives sprawled out body, crushing him beneath you. Each thrust rubbed his cock against your navel, earning more vocal affirmations that your toy was at least feeling good.

As you began to feel close, back arching as your pace quickened, you forgot all about how small Knives was compared to you. So you may have accidentally crushed him slightly under your breasts, chasing your high as he milked you for all you're worth. His voice muffled, nails clawing at your tits as you harshly fucked his ass.

Even when you released, coming deep into the pits of his guts, your pace never ceased. How could it when it felt so good, feeling his insides lubed from your seed, filling him like an eclair.

Of course, once he was contently filled, you did free him. Unfortunately your sweet pet was unconscious from lack of air, but you did warn him about his punishment. A shame he wasn't awake for the finale.

"A pity," You sighed, sitting back to admire your work. "Until we meet again, my dear false god."

When Knives awoke, the first thing that greeted him was excruciating pain. Everything was burning in absolute agony, and he was covered in stale cum, his own and what you left stuffed inside him, leaking from his loose ass.

He desperately wanted to hate you, curse you from the pits of this hell. Only he couldn't, left to pout at his false hatred to the goddess that finally put him in his place.

Perhaps he'll keep torturing your so called 'precious creations', if it meant to feel you flushed against his skin, those touches against his markings.

Just the thought of you had his stomach churn, cock ache and mind fog with the sound of your heavenly laughter.

A/N: Hope you enjoyed Anon, I apologise I got a little carried away. Love you all and thank you sm for all the support I truly appreciate it.

[onedayimgonnasnap]

How about dating hcs for Mammon, Leviathan, Satan, Asmodeus, and Beezelbub?

Obey Me X Reader Dating HCS

Tw: Leviathan JK

~Mammon~

Ok so start off when dating this man be expected to get introuble with a bunch of fucking witches who Mammon owes money to.

You end up getting kidnapped often but nothing too serious since the kidnappers don’t have anything against you. Just Mammon,

so during the whole experience you get to eat chocolate chip cookies and apple juice watching curious George. They don’t actually know a whole lot about humans- they just know Curious George is a popular TV show.

Also man likes to spoil you like crazy and you both often go on dates. Before the mafia shows up and demands money-

He also likes to have you with him watching his modeling. (Bitch wants you to drool over him)

He also likes to hold your hand, he never lets it go so you might as well sew your hand together.

He also sneaks into your bed at night after telling you he’s not clingy. He wakes you up like “MC 🥺 I frew up-“

Also has a weird obsession with uno-

The whole dating Mammon experience is really wild- He means well though he’s just mischievous.

~Leviathan~

Ok so bro has an anime for every single fucking situation. At this point you’re pretty sure he pulls it out of his ass.

Bro has also asked you; “Would you still love me if I was a worm?”

Bro cried when you said; “No lol”

Bro gets jealous easily when he’s alone and he sees other couples. You have to deal with it pretty every fucking time.

He saw a trend on the internet where a couple bought two beta fishes and he went to go find you.

He doesn’t ask for affection but he does thing where it’s like; “Man I would really love to hold someone’s hand- to bad no one will ever wanna hold a stupid otaku like me’s hand. :((“ And he does it while staring at you.

Also his body type changes (not in a fat shaming way) but he changes from fit to dad bod pretty often. It’s the happy weight you get from being in a relationship.”

You also have to make sure he drinks water often. Like chug it down his mf throat.

You guys also often make OCs together for different anime’s.

~Satan~

Bro sends you cat memes, cat pictures, professional cat photography and cat drawings.

Also he keeps hiding a bunch of cats in your room.

Lucifer like a proud dad tells you embarrassing stories that Satan has done when he was younger (including he was a furry. Satan has a fursona and Levi is making bank)

He also randomly pretends to be Sherlock homes it’s really cute when it’s not every-time you lost your phone charger.”

Bro also throws tantrums like one time you heard his voice squeak like he was still going through puberty.

Satan once murdered someone after they recommended him the book Twilight.

He also has different phases based on what book he’s reading. He’s also wrote fanfiction AU’s of you and him

He also has cat hair all over his clothes half of the time and he likes his reading cuddle times so good luck with that.

Bro also calls you at 3:00 AM to ask you the most random crack questions.

~Asmodeus~

You’re never allowed to neglect yourself in any way ever again.

He will smack you if you talk down about yourself in any way whatsoever.

You both have a self care session every other day, you both gossip it’s really fun.

Bro is down bad for you- Bro went from ‘for the streets’ to “I only want you in the sheets-“

He also wants to Princess carried by you no matter how tall you are.

Bro also likes to bite you and smother you with kisses.

You have both lipstick marks and a bunch of hickeys that’s to him.

He also will never let you sleep alone ever again.

Everytime you both are going out he grabs your arm.

~Beelzebub~

Bro is extremely blunt and does not like to sugar coat things.

He might seem harsh but with a little more context he just cares.

You’re also never allowed to skip meals ever again.

If you do after he’s done eating he likes to give you food.

He also likes forehead kisses and headpats, he starts blushing so much when you do it.

When he sees you’re uncomfortable or scared he picks you up and throws you over his shoulder leaving.

He also likes when you scratch his back or head to him if feels like Heaven.

One of the problems I can think of is that you have to keep a safe for snacks for yourself so the big bitch like a grizzly bear doesn’t break in.

Also has bit you a bunch of times not like those hickey bites. The ones that look like you were almost eaten.

He’s also given you scary dog privileges.

Your bed now has ants because of all the crumbs in bed he leaves- he also has once eaten one of your blankets and clothes.

[apathetic-dry-rot]

Wilting Nerium- Chapter 3: Sex, Drugs, Ect.

Lawrence Oleander x AFAB!GN!Reader

CW/TW: Mild smut, drug consumption, panic attack, wlw-coded, hallucinations, mentions of marijuana and alcohol consumption (Not by reader)

Dead Dove: Do Not Eat

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT

Disclaimer: I do not condone any of the content in this fanfic or game in real life!

Lawrence Oleander belongs to Gatobob

NOW PLAYING: Sex, Drugs, Ect. by Beach Weather

The only bad thing about working at a nature reserve is once you’ve been left to die in the woods, you kinda get a bit anxious when in a forest. However, I knew these woods. These were my woods. I don’t have anything to fear at work.

Work is the one place where I’m truly safe.

The readjustment was a bit difficult, but I needed to get back to my job, for both the money, and the fact that if I didn’t, I was gonna go fucking crazy.

It was a relatively simple job, but I’d been doing it for years, so of course it’d be simple to me. I was in charge of checking up on all of our tagged wildlife and making sure that none had gotten killed by hunters or poachers.

It was a soothing routine, but as per usual in my life nowadays, there was something different.

One of our stags had been attacked. By something much larger than anything we had on the premises, and it’s highly unlikely that any predator from outside the reserve wandered in and went for the stag itself.

“Something got Milo?”

Milo was one of the four stags we had at the reserve, and the most docile, which makes the whole situation even more weird.

“Yeah. Uh, whatever it was was pretty big. Bigger than anything that uh, we’ve got here.”

Lola was a nice coworker, on the shorter side with short, poofy auburn curls- almost like an afro, and had wide, light brown doe eyes. Also her smile was entirely too bright and she had a short temper, but she loved the animals and never pressured me into talking or anything, so she was good in my book.

She let out a melancholy sigh, running a thin hand through her boingy curls.

He’d never go after someone like her, she’s far too intimidating for him, and-

Stop. You’re at work. This is the only safe space left.

“Down to three, then, I guess. How unfortunate.”

The frown wrinkled her face in all the wrong ways. It looked unnatural on her.

Luckily, she quickly ‘turned that frown upside down’ and grinned at me, not much different than a cheshire cat.

That smile was almost as unsettling as her frowning.

My name slid off her tongue slyly, she was planning something. She wanted something from me.

“Hey, I’m throwing a party this weekend, if you’re interested.”

I must’ve not been hiding my emotions that well on my face because she scrambled to convince me.

“It’s gonna be super small, just a few coworkers and some of my friends, no more than like, I don’t know, thirty people, maximum. If that, even, I swear. Just stop by for like, half an hour and you can leave whenever you want, I just…”

She sighed softly, her face filling with concern. I know where this is going.

“I was hoping to get you some fresh air, in a more societal setting after, y’know,” she gestured slightly at me, her eyes trailing the visible scars on my neck, face, and arms; “Everything you’ve been through.”

I exhaled deeply, rubbing my wrists.

“I’m not sure, Lola.”

I don’t know what she was thinking, I couldn’t look straight at her, like she was the sun, it was hard to look anywhere near her general direction.

“Please, just for a little while, you don’t have to stay for long, I swear to you.”

Awkward silence filled the air as I discreetly shuffled towards the door and shifted my weight back and forth on my legs. My hand held the doorknob tightly, knuckles white and twisting the cold metal.

“I’ll… I’ll think about it.”

She beamed, I didn’t even have to look at her to know it, I could feel her overjoyed grin radiating sunlight throughout the room.

“Yes! Sounds great!”

I furrowed my brows and glared slightly at her tiny button nose, not looking her in the eye.

“No promises, though, okay?” She practically pirouetted past me, giving my shoulder a light pat as she went by.

“I’ll be looking forward to it!”

At least Lola was right about the size of the house party being small, but this place absolutely reeked.

Of weed. And other drugs.

I’d worn simple clothes: a black tanktop, light blue high waisted jeans, my old black Doc Martins, a green flannel. Enough to not look like a hobo, not too much so I’d look like an overachiever.

It wasn’t too loud inside either, just some 80’s rock playlist playing for ambience in the background, humming of chatter in different rooms as people mingled with one another.

And here I was, alone.

I knew this was a horrible idea. I should’ve just stayed home.

I sort of just stood there for a few minutes before making my way into the kitchen, where I walked through an almost heavenly cloud of marujuana smoke lingering in the air.

“Hey there, stranger!”

I nearly jumped all the way out of my skin as a hand clasped around my left shoulder and tugged me into the side of a girl a bit taller than me.

Her physique was lean and slightly muscular, with a strong jaw and sharp nose, her eyes mismatched colors of olive green and honey brown, with a light dusting of freckles adorning her cheeks, and long golden blonde hair reaching to her waist.

Aka, REALLY FUCKING PRETTY.

Oh, shit I’m staring-

“Oh, uh, hi. Sorry.”

She laughed, soft and sweet and I could feel the heat rising to my face because ohhhh myyyyy god, she’s so gorgeous and her laugh is perfect and adorable and-

Her hand landed on my shoulder giving it a small squeeze.

“My name’s Aiden.”

I cleared my throat and held my hand out in greeting.

Do people even do handshakes anymore? I mean like, it’s 2023-

She shook my hand gently, and I wanted to collapse.

Oh fuck, my name. Dumbass you’re introducing yourself, you need to tell her your fucking name.

“Uh, I’m-”

I could hear my name being called from the living room, causing me to freeze in my spot, Aiden and I both turning to the source- Lola- her strong and lightly calloused hand not leaving mine.

I repeated my name slowly, smiling awkwardly. “Yeah, that's… that's me.”

Lola looked between the two of us as she approached, gasping excitedly and gesturing at Aiden and I in a wild fashion.

“Oh my goshhhh! You guys are getting alongggg! That's so totally fucking awesome, my besties are befriending each otherrr!”

She's high as shit. Probably drunk, too. I mean, it is her house, she has every right to get crossfaded if she wants. 

Aiden let out a noise of realization, squeezing my hand and patting it lightly with her other hand, grinning wider before releasing my- probably sweaty- palm from her grip.

“So you're the coworker from the reservation that I've heard so much about? It's so good to finally put a face to a name!”

I let out a nervous laugh before nodding with a small ‘yeah.’

Lola dragged us off, parading us around the house, encouraging me to open up to a few people, and no one was sober enough to recognize me.

Which was actually a huge relief that helped me talk to them. They couldn't pity me if they didn't even know who I was.

Intoxicated people are funny.

At some point I had been offered a sort of gray-brown, shriveled up lump, causing me to turn to Lola, who was next to me on her sofa, Aiden resting her legs on my lap lazily.

“What… is this?”

Lola giggled slightly.

“It’s shrooms, y’know?”

I hummed, rolling it around on my hand while debating.

“If you don’t wanna like, eat it, you could brew it into a tea, I think.”

A shiver crawled along my spine, the scar on my neck tingling, and I shot the brunette an uneasy smile.

“I’ll just eat it the normal way, thanks.”

She laughed, lightly hitting my shoulder as I put the mass in my mouth, my face scrunching up at the odd taste, making Aiden chuckle in amusement.

I coughed after it went down, the blonde reaching onto the floor next to her, handing me her water bottle for me to take, my name falling from her mouth like a small blessing.

“Here, to wash it down.”

I took it from her, our fingers brushing slightly, making me melt inside at the smoothness of her hand against mine, finally taking a gulp from the plastic Dasani bottle.

It tasted oddly familiar.

I shook the thought away, this was neither the time nor the place to be thinking about him.

I’m at a party, not a therapy session.

I turned to Aiden, my hands absentmindedly rubbing her shins.

“How long does this shit typically take to kick in?”

She shrugged, her perfect face serene, hair falling over her shoulders.

“Dunno, usually ‘bout half an hour. Varies from person to person.”

I let out a hum and nodded, zoning out at the sound of her voice.

Closing my eyes and leaning back, I sighed and picked off the loose hairs I felt on her pants.

After a while, things felt, wobbly.

It felt laggy, like a video game.

I opened my eyes slowly, looking around at my surroundings.

Everything was in slow motion. Lola was gone.

It was just me and Aiden in the room.

Alone.

She mumbled as she sat up and tucked her legs underneath her, placing her hand on my shoulder.

“Huh…?”

She leaned towards me, I could see all the freckles dusting her cheekbones and nose.

“I said you look confused. You okay?”

My eyelids drooped, her soft breath against my ear warming up my neck and face.

“I… think so.”

She feels so soft, like velvet.

“Your hands are pretty, y’know.”

She giggled, and I felt my temperature rise a few degrees.

“Yeah, well your face is pretty.”

My eyes snapped up to meet hers, her face only inches from mine.

“All of you is pretty, actually.”

I let out a small noise, akin to a whine, as her lips hit mine slowly, my eyes closing while I leaned into her, my hand tracing her jawline.

Oh, fucking god-

Her hands gripped my hips, moving me to straddle her lap as she moaned into the kiss, my lips parting slightly, her warm tongue darting to move against mine in response.

Aiden began stroking my stomach with her thumbs, filling me with butterflies and making me shiver against her, heat flooding my body as I whimpered into her, her hands squeezing the plush of my hips, holding me down.

Her lips left mine, trailing down my cheek to my jawline and neck, my small noises louder without the muffling of our frantic kissing.

“You’re so sensitive, baby.”

I groaned at her words, my fingers moving to grip her shoulders.

“Can’t help it… been a while, and you’re too perfect.”

She chuckled against my jugular, nipping at my throat softly, causing me to groan, one of my hands coming to grip the hair at the back of her neck, a moan escaping her lips.

I grinned, pulling her hair back slightly, testing the waters, her gasp on egging me on to return the favor and attack her neck with little nips and open-mouthed kissing, her small noises of pleasure fueling the fire in my abdomen.

“Fuuck, sweetpea-”

She cut herself off with a soft moan as I hummed against her throat while sucking hard at her skin. I dragged my tongue over the forming bruise in my wake, causing her hips to buck up into mine.

I leaned back to admire the red and purple blotches on her skin, sliding my hands under the hem of her shirt, looking into her eyes, silently begging for permission to take it off, her shivers and frantic nodding of her head prompting me to ease the fabric over her shoulders and head before tossing it to the side.

“Perfect, so beautiful.”

I latched my lips onto hers once more, moving my hands to palm at her bra-covered breasts. She moaned against me, her hands finding my hips again, grinding me down against her, controlling my movements while my fingers tangled themselves into her hair and tugging. She slid her hands up the back of my shirt, scratching at my lower back with need. I pulled away from her again to shrug off my flannel and tug my shirt off, the two articles of clothing join hers on the hardwood floor before moving to kiss the skin of her chest, sucking bruises into the soft plushness of her tits, taking care to bite softer than on her neck, her hand finding my hair as she threw her head back in pleasure, her figure looking divine, my head swimming from the drugs, the only thing I could think of was how perfect she felt against me. I moved back up to her lips slowly, moving my hips against hers as she continued digging her nails into my back, a groan leaving me with a shiver. The hand in my hair slid down my neck, tracing the car there making me squirm at the feeling, my brain trying not to scream at the negative memories associated with it. I leaned back and opened my eyes, only to find that her eyes weren’t the green and golden brown from before, but now a steely shade of gray-blue, her hair lightening to a straw-colored blonde. My breath hitched as my body flung me onto my back on instinct, my body colliding with the floorboards with a very loud thump, my eyes flooding with tears that began streaming down my face.

“Oh, fuck I-”

I struggled to breath, wiping at my eyes, blinking at Aiden, who had moved to the floor, her hand coming to rest on my shoulder, my skin crawling as I flinched at the contact.

She looked like herself again. Oh god, I fucked everything up again.

“I-I’m sor-sorry, I can’t, I-”

She shushed me, brushing hair out of my face.

“It’s okay, it’s okay, you’re okay.”

I sobbed, hiding my head in my hands.

I fucked up, I ruined it, everything was going so well, fuck, fuck fuck fuck.

“I- I need to go home, I’m so sorry.”

She helped me put my shirt back on, handing my jacket, reassuring me that it was okay and that she wasn’t mad.

Liar, I ruined everything, just like always.

She had Lola call me a cab before giving me her number as I apologized profusely.

The ride home was quiet and uncomfortable, the lights blending together unnaturally, trailing behind each other.

My apartment was dead silent when I finally got home.

Good. I’d probably cry if I heard noise right now.

My body and mind cried, aching to lay down in my warm bed as I changed out of my clothes, slipping into green flannel sweats and a black t-shirt.

After finishing my nighttime routine, I flopped into my bed, cocooning myself under my blankets, sighing as the warmth and exhaustion caught up to me, dragging me under the surface of the dark slumber that awaited me.

Word Count: 2546

[chunkymamatam]

I'm currently having a Vil obsession...do you perchance have any stories about him/any interactions with him? :') <3

-Reena

Yeah one is a really shitty interaction I had with him (which happens to be literally the first interaction we had lmfao) the rest are chill tho

Now, I’m a big bitch and I start this first interaction off by saying this because context is important and I understand that he genuinely wasn’t trying to be a douche but there’s a reason I’m fat and it’s not cuz I eat too much. Actually most times I struggle to eat at all.

Tw: I’m gonna mention my Eating Disorder and medical issues

Story 1:

I was getting signatures for an interest form about possibly starting a cheer team. I was doing this for a friend and I get to the table with Vil, Rook and Epel(Vil insists that they eat together to keep both Rook and Epel at least somewhat in check lmfao) and I was asking if they’d sign and this mf we looks at me and is like “have you tried the Salads here? They’re good and healthy.” Nah cuz wtf bro 😭 I was flabbergasted bro cuz what???

So I look at him, cuz honestly I expect this from mfers that are that conventionally beautiful, and I’m like “you better shut your fucking mouth before I beat that pretty face of yours black and blue and not that it’s any of your god damn business but I love salads. Ever had a Greek salad?” And he shakes his head “You should try them. They’re good. And healthy”

Then that night Malleus asked about it and I told him that Superstar is lucky he didn’t trigger my ED and he needs to be careful who he talks to like that because it’s gonna make someone relapse and really get hurt. Plus it’s those exact comments that made me feel like it was my fault when I was on medication with the side effects of weight gain and literally took my ability to sweat so what I can physically do is now limited. Malleus did NOT like this. Idk what he did but not long after that Vil approached me before classes and apologized. I relayed what I said to Malleus back to him. He genuinely felt bad and didn’t even think about that which is crazy considering his industry.

On a lighter not I asked to use his sewing machine for the cheer outfits and he said yes. Slight push back on the basis of “wouldn’t Crowley order them”

to which I was like “this man can’t even give me adequate housing” LMFAO

He said yeah after that and was like “only if I have final say on the design.” We’ve been pretty close friends since pfff

Story 2:

When the SDC came around and Ace and Deuce got on the team I panicked when the entirety of Pomefiore tried to beat our asses and broke a vase over someone’s head. Vil yelled at me that “that was expensive” BITCH I AINT APOLOGIZING I WAS BEING MAULED BY A BUNCH OF THEATER KIDS 😭😭😭

Vil was so done with me but like everyone else agreed with me so 💀

Story 3:

There was also this one time I was having a breakdown and he was like “oh sweetheart no. I can’t have you going out looking a mess. Let’s clean you up.” And he took me into the room he was in while staying at Ramshackle and did my hair and makeup. I took a picture and posted it to my Magicam (Cater forced me to make one lol). Tell me why his crazy ass fans identified him by his jawline, shoulders and a pixel of his hair???? This wasn’t even in frame enough that reasonably y’all should’ve been able to identify him 😭

It’s an ongoing joke between us now and we just occasionally post pictures of our legs next to each other, maybe I’ll put one leg over his. It’s really funny cuz I posted pictures of us in our Halloween costumes too and it wasn’t even just with him and they were like “You fat bitch you don’t deserve to date him” Now you can tell me I’m being dumb but that is such a massive leap to conclusions 😭😭😭

[rosaaeles]

tw: mention of sexual harassment

yesterday i found out that a person i considered a friend (ill call them J for convenience) told someone on our uni course (ill call them k) about sexual harassment i faced last year.

i didn’t want J to tell anyone, especially not K seen as K and his friendship group were literally there when i got sexually harassed and bystood the whole event.

i keep trying to make sense of it but i cant. i cant rationalise it.

i told J about this confidentially. it told them about something super traumatic that happened in my life and now they’ve taken it and discussed it with someone who they know bystood the entire event and didn’t step in to help me whilst i was being harassed.

it makes me sick. J came up to me and told me yesterday and said “i know it wasn’t my thing to say, hope it’s okay that i did.” and it’s like???? if you knew it wasn’t your thing to say why did you? i made it explicitly clear that i didn’t want to talk to K or his friendship group. i’ve been ignoring them all year for a reason. i can’t look at them without panicking or feeling sick. i associate them with what happened to me, and i truly feel nauseous whenever i think about how none of them stepped in to help me or comfort me afterwards.

it feels like something has been taken from me. a trauma that should have been my own to decide what to do with now belongs to people i never wanted it to. only K knows for now i think, but the rest of his friendship group will soon and then all of them will know and i hate this so much. i feel so sick thinking about it.

i trusted J with something so personal and they used it as gossip fodder to become closer friends with K. i trusted J with an awful event and they fucking told one of the people that i directly associate with it.

it also feels like J never really cared about how deeply i was affected by being harassed. or like, they didn’t attach much weight to it and therefore thought it would be okay to talk about it. i’ve spent months trying to tell myself that what i experienced was serious and i wasn’t overreacting in the aftermath. it’s so devastating to feel like it’s all very trivial and just gossip.

i feel so distraught. i feel like im crazy. i can’t imagine doing the same to someone else. i dont know why J thought it would be okay.

idk if i’m making much sense rn, everything feels like a mess

[barclaysangel]

rant (tw for body issues, sh, ed)

I’m sorry I just need to get this off my chest, to scream into the void

I was just showering, washing my body, and had this horrifying realization that my stomach was huge. It absolutely triggered something in me because my dad made me weigh myself this morning and I’m at my highest despite only eating twice a day. I know I don’t exercise, especially that often, and I haven’t been able to go on my 2 mile walks because of me getting sick and the heavy rain we’re having. But something just set my brain off and I started scratching and punching my stomach while crying.

This isn’t the first time I’ve done this. I punched my stomach like a week ago because I also realized then that my stomach looked like I was 4-5 months pregnant. And some sick part of my brain liked it because I want to have babies but the other part of me freaked because I’m obviously not pregnant, I’m just fat.

The funny thing is that I want to be pregnant. I want to experience that. But now I’m terrified of gaining weight with the pregnancy because I’ve heard my dad say shit about overweight women in general but also women who don’t lose the baby weight. Will I just become something else for him to talk about?

I don’t know why everything is hurting more. I’ve TRIED to lose weight. I’ve gone to the gym frequently in the summer and NOTHING happened. It’s harder for me to go during school time because I get so busy and just want to sit in my room and do homework. Why can’t I lose the fucking weight?!

There’s nothing wrong with me, I’ve been checked out, nothing is making me gain weight, no hormone or chemical imbalance. It’s just me. Despite only eating twice a day with occasional sweets a few times a week, I’m the one who is doing this to myself and I’m now at 164 pounds because of it.

I fucking hate it, I wanna take a pair of scissors and cut off my entire stomach, I wanna hurt my stomach until it’s flat, I wanna starve myself until it hurts. But nothing works. I’ve tried when I was younger to have an eating disorder because I was spiraling but I can’t cut off food and I hate throwing up. I attempted once to purge when I was in middle school but panicked and couldn’t go through with it.

I don’t even know why I’m sharing this. Who even cares? I’m the one with fucking issues. I guess I just can’t tell anyone about this. My mom will think I’m stupid and crazy. My dad will probably think the same and try to make me exercise more. I don’t know. I’m fucking tired and every time I try to be more confident and comfortable in my body, something happens and tears me back down.

If you actually read this, thanks. I’m gonna try to distract myself so I don’t hurt myself anymore and try to forget this until the next episode hits.

Sorry again.

[brightfuture2024]

tw eating disorder/body stuff/my parents

i called my mom the other day and she had a full sobbing breakdown because she went to the doctor and her chart said overweight and obese... she was going on and on about how much she hates how she looks and it's not even fair because she doesn't drink or smoke or "do drugs" (lol) and she only has (giant american-sized) soda three times a week. and this is crazy because she is addicted to candy, like has bags of candy she carries with her constantly that she starts on at like ten in the morning. one time we were on vacation and her candy supply ran out and she tried to dig through my bag to eat the fudge i got from my uncle for christmas and got mad when i wouldn't give it to her because she "needed it." she ordered some ridiculous arm roller thing that she says will get rid of her arm fat by rolling it up and down her arm and she won't listen to me when i say that that isn't how weight loss works. and she ordered some skincare thing to make her face less puffy but honestly her face is proportional to her body. and she always says she only gained this weight because she stopped lifting weights for her arms, and she just needs to turn that flab into muscle - again, not how it works, and honestly just delusional given her current weight! i love her i don't think she looks bad she's my beautiful mom but it's so hard to listen to her talk like this and be in such denial it's honestly terrifying. i understand it is so so hard to be overweight with modern beauty standards but i think your solutions are to either to work on accepting that this is what your body will look like if you eat the way you do (which is fine!) or actually attempt losing weight, which comes down 90% to calorie intake and will require changing that diet. i wish my dad would intervene somehow because he is a super athletic person who understands at least the basic principles of weight gain and loss but now he's into this whole right wing carnivore diet shit so his diet is like 60% red meat and he thinks cholestorol is fake and he has managed to gain a massive gut in the past year thanks to this despite never drinking or eating junk food and running supermarathons and doing strength training daily which is like an astounding feat of calorie intake. so he's not doing great either but at least better than my mom.... my dad also hates fat people which my mom obviously picks up on and impacts her even though he tells her he loves her and she's beautiful.... it's all such a mess how am i ever supposed to handle food normally coming from this. i'm starting another sugar fast because i need to remind myself that i can after watching my mom break down like this.