#(travelling in general isn't really for me - not when my parents 'plan' it)

[itsmistyeyedbi]

There's so much I want to write and so much I want to read, but I can't fully engage with much of anything right now and it's killing me😭

[phoenixeclipse-lmkau]

So uh, I realise I wrote too much again, so like, I don't expect the questions to be answered, I just think in questions and what ifs. I don't expect the questions to be answered at all just go for a general respond to the vibes if u want.

I think you should have Reader go back to her world and the duo try and go after her.

According to JTTW isn't the world in the palm of Buddha or something? Would Reader's world be in the future or an alternate world/palm?

I'm just imagining after they go through all their adventures and grow and mature as people[monkies?], they should get a power of friendship[romance] power boost to go to Reader's world and immediately cause chaos there, with all the drama that is involved.

What would they think about everyone knowing so much about them? Is there a heavenly realm/court thingy they can ransack, so we can have shenanigans of two heavenly courts fighting the duo and each other on what to do regarding the situation?

How would the duo react to meeting Reader's family? Would there be a Sun Wukong and Macaque in Reader's world? How would they react to the Cursed Warlords duo?

What if Reader goes home with them still cursed instead?

Imagine Reader being separated from them because as far as anyone knows, these are wild animals that should live in a zoo or something.

Nobody would believe that the monkeys came from another world, they would just wonder how Reader managed to steal 2 monkey cubs from their parents and habitat most likely across country lines

People probably think Reader is an abusive, cruel, ignorant asshole who probably got them from a poacher or something.

Can u imagine the amount of harassment, hate and vitriol Reader would get, and the monkeys would witness?

And they would only see a bunch of humans, targeting the one human who no matter what tried their best to keep them safe, saying that Reader is a horrible person that they will "save" them from, only to be shoved into tiny cages[carriers] only to be taken into a prison where they are stared at 24/7 with flashing lights from all sides with no privacy[zoo], forced to eat pellets while reader would probably starve before letting them go hungry[fruit has been bred to have too much sugar that it gives animals cavities so zoos don't use them], being manhandled by strangers poking random things into them[vets giving check-up and bloodwork]?

Imagine if they broke their curse after experiencing all of that, oh their reaction to everything:

monkey duo: "ok, there is no way we will leave Reader here, court-napping kidnapping 'rescue' reader plan is a go!"

reader, who only saw them as cubs and was imprisoned shortly after they were separated: "Who tf are you???? Why do these two monkey demons act like they know me??? How did they even get here??? WAIT WHY AM I BEING TAKEN BACK??? WHAT ABOUT THE CUBS?? are these the cubs parents??"

monkey duo, touched that reader still remembers to think about them after all this kerfuffle:"… ok we are definitely going to marry reader, gonna have to shift plans to move it up the schedule"

This had me absolutely busting a gut as I was reading it. The idea would be something that would be fun to play with for sure.

I don’t think that I’ll have them go to her world this early in the Au, but eventually they’ll probably go there because they don’t like her being anywhere that isn’t with them. Well other than Flower Fruit Mountain, as they believe that she is safest there. (Haven’t decided when they actually go to her world yet, or if they’ll go there quietly or if they’ll bust into the place or not)

Now for Reader’s World, I realize it’s something I haven’t really mentioned before. Reader’s world is a modern world, one that doesn’t have demons or monsters lurking around every corner. My thought is it’s just like Earth in this way. I like the idea of Reader’s world being one that isn’t on Buddha’s palm at all, in fact it’s a world that should be impossible for her to leave or travel to. However due to a specific magic that flows through her, she is able to get pulled to and from her world. What magic? Honestly haven’t decided on that yet. But the only way she can control it is with magical artifacts, her magic simply powering the artifact and guiding it to the right dimension. She and two other people are the only ones who can even do this properly, even if her own is a complete accident usage every time.

No there isn’t a Sun Wukong and Macaque in her world. That would be funny true, but with her world being a modern one I don’t feel like it fits.

My thoughts on Reader traveling between the worlds, hehe~ Let’s just say I’ve got a few fun plans for that. Especially when the Monkey Duo can’t do anything about it (At least not for a while). 👀 Heck due to the nature of Reader’s nullification to magic, Macaque can’t even just know when she arrives in their world. They will get rather desperate to get her back on more than one occasion. HA! I am going to make them work for this girl! They want her, they will have to work / fight for her. Though the fighting comes like second nature to them, heck more than second nature to them actually.

On the topic of marriage though, Wukong and Macaque think more along the lines of courting. They just want to court-nap her and mate with her and then she would be their wife by Demon standards. So they won’t really think to have an actual wedding… at least not until they learn about that human custom.

I loved your ideas btw, thank you so much for sharing them with me ❤️

As always if anyone else has any other ideas, then send them my way! I love to hear everyone’s thoughts. Such as this Anon’s who had me laughing so hard I swear my stomach hurt from it.

Just thinking about the monkey duo being put into a zoo was hilarious. The absolute rage Wukong would feel would be something to behold, including the fact that he’d probably tear down the zoo if the curse vanished while he was in it. Reader would be all worried about your monkeys trying to figure out how to free them when suddenly there’s some sort of fire happening at the zoo they were brought to. You would probably fear for the worst.

Until two monkey demons probably enter through your window, ready to take their darling back home.

“How…” Reader gasps as you stared into beautiful golden eyes that stared at you with a love stuck smile.

“Hello Reader~ Are you ready to go home?” Wukong mutters, his tail swaying back and forth like that of a cat.

“Who are you!?” you want to run. The demon in front of you is covered in blood and walking towards you at a rather quick pace, too quick.

“Now, now. We can’t have you running,” Another demon mutters as arms wrap around your waist, seemly out of no where.

Turning you are about to yell when you notice a set of three ears on each side of his head. Immediately your thoughts going to your little monkey cubs as she's picked up effortlessly.

"Ahh! Let me go! Who the heck are you!? Are you Plum and Peaches parents? Is that why you're here? I swear I don't have them, they- they're trapped at the zoo... I didn't do anything to them-" you would get cut off rather quickly.

"Shh, shh we know. We know that you didn't do anything other than care for them. Gotta say being called Plum for months was strange but can't say I hated it," Macaque would whisper in your ear.

As this is revealed to you, a sense of terror washes over you. Slowly you find yourself turning to look at the other monkey demon in the room. The similarities were so distinctive and they were right in your face. You couldn't deny it now.

"Now, let's get you back home. We aren't going to leave you for this stupid world to take care of you. No, they can't take care of you like we can," Wukong mutters, nuzzling his face against your cheek.

You can try to get out of their hold all you like, but you won't succeed with these two. They love you too much to let you go now. You sealed your fate the moment you gave them food, if I'm being honest. Especially with what the zoo tried to feed them.

[blossom-sims]

Elemental Legacy Challenge for TS3

Hi all, this is my first Sims 3 legacy challenge I've made myself, it is a result of my boredom on a Saturday evening but it was a lot of fun, so I'll throw this at you ☺

This elemental legacy challenge is for The Sims 3 and spans 9 Generations. It is inspired by the Chinese Zodaic Elements and also inspiration from my favourite JRPG's which utlise a lot of elemental themed magic. It has guided ideas and generational requirements with story themes throughout. Feel free to tag me if you have a go at this ✨

Rules:

I have listed the intended requirements for each generation, move on to the next generation once the requirements are complete or the next heir becomes a young adult

I have listed some guidance on careers, lifetime wishes and traits. I recommend taking 2-3 of the traits listed but they aren't mandatory

You can use money cheats if you wish, I've tried to write the generational order to put you in the desired financial spot for storytelling, but please just have fun with it

Please do alter and play this how you wish & how your stories pan out, the guidance is just there for ideas and isn't meant to limit you

Generation 1 - Earth

Child of earth, you are grounded and resillient. Your goal is to provide your family with solid foundations for the generations to come. You are selfless, stubborn and driven. You know what you want and will work your upmost to achieve it. Your ambitious and frugal nature can get on other's nerves and prompts the question: with so much planning for the future, are you really taking time to enjoy your own life?

Traits: Ambitious, Frugal, Natural Cook, Snob, Workaholic

Job: Medical Career

LTW: World Renowned Surgeon

Requirments:

Begin in a starter house. You should not move lots or houses this Generation and instead add extensions onto your house when needed

Master the cooking and nectar making skills

Fall in love and marry one person in your lifetime

Do not have children until you reach level 8 of your career

Save 20,000 for the next generation

Generation 2 - Water

Child of water, thanks to your parents hardwork, you had a carefree childhood and now plenty of savings behind you. You are a calm free spirit that lets the oceans currents carry you to your next adventure. You are in no rush to settle in one place just yet, why rush when you are having such fun? Your time for settling down will come evetually. Whatever will be will be.

Traits: Adventurous, Loves to swim, Commitment Issues, Easily Impressed, Athletic

LTW: Seaside Saviour/Seasoned Traveler/Deep Sea Diver

Job: Lifeguard

Requirements:

Travel to 3 different destinations

Do not get married and settle down until adulthood

Have at least 3 children with 3 different people you meet in your travels

Master the diving skill

Own a boat or live in a houseboat

Generation 3 - Fire

Child of fire, you are passionate and hot-headed, throwing yourself headfirst into your work and relationships with a grandeur flair. You wear your heart on your sleeve, making many flock to you for friendship or more. Your self-awareness around your temper certainly helps your popularity as you channel your temper into your physical fitness. You certainly aren't burning out anytime soon!

Traits: Social Butterfly, Hot-Headed, Artistic, Loves the Heat, Flirty

LTW: Super Popular

Job: Self-employed Painter

Requirements:

Master the painting and martial arts skills

Have at least 20 friends and maintain friendships until you are an elder or the next generation takes over

Have 3 passionate lovers in your lifetime

Throw a party once per week

Woohoo once per week

Generation 4 - Grass

Child of grass, you just can't get enough of babies, especially your own! Your family and their wellbeing are your whole world. You live to nourish, protect and teach your loved ones. However, you have been told on one or more occasions that you can be overbearing...a helicopter parent perhaps? Don't they know you only want what is best for them?

Traits: Nurturing, Perfectionist, Loves the Outdoors, Family Orientated, Green Thumb,

LTW: Surrounded by Family/The Perfect Garden

Job: Daycare

Requirements:

Have a garden and live off the land, using your grown produce for meals

Max the gardening skill

Fall in love and marry your childhood sweetheart

Have 5 children and a bad relationship with at least one

Teach all of your children their toddler skills

Live within your means in a small-medium house - never have more than 10,000 in household funds

Generation 5 - Ice

Child of ice, your parents doting nature only added onto your pressure. You never felt like you fit in with your family, never felt understood. They were all so extroverted and loud whilst you much preferred your quiet isolation. Perhaps that's why you prefer animals over people. You have a lot of love to give, I can only hope you will find someone to share that with (who is not one of your many pets).

Traits: Shy, Animal Lover, Hates the Outdoors, Savvy Sculptor, Loves the cold

LTW: Descendant of Da Vinci

Jobs: Self employed Sculptor/Painter/Inventor

Requirements:

Have a poor relatioship with your parents and siblings, you will leave your childhood family home as soon as you age into a young adult

Have 3 pets at one time

Only leave your house when necessary

Meet your lover through online dating

Master the sculpting and inventing skills

Have a child through the time machine

Generation 6 - Electricity

Child of electricity, you sure are a shocker! You thrive in the spotlight and want all eyes on you, for better or worse. You would never miss an opportunity to make a good story for the headlines. Rumours have been circulating that your appearances are a rouse: you're broke, narcissistic and even miserable! They're just jealous of your fame and fortune...right?

Traits: Inappropriate, Star Quality, Charismatic, Daredevil, Irresistible

LTW: Superstar Actor/Rock Star/Vocal Legend

Job: Actor/Musician/Singer

Requirements:

Reach Celebrity Level 5

Reach Level 10 of your chosen career

Have 3 negative scandals in your lifetime

Act inappropriately once per week

Live beyond your means - live in a large mansion and keep your household funds below 5,000. Spend any additional income on items, spa treatments and activities

Have a fall from grace and leave your children with nothing

Generation 7 - Metal

Child of metal, you know what it's like to be at rock bottom. Due to your parents neglect and carelessness, you taught yourself all you know to get by and find your next meal, even if you aren't proud of it. You are stubborn, self-reliant and one hell of an evil genius. You won't hit rock bottom again. Ever.

Traits: Evil, Kleptomaniac, Genius, Night Owl, Rebellious

LTW: Become a Master Thief

Job: Criminal Career

Requirements:

As a teen: consistently maintain D's at school, skip school, pull pranks and steal from neighbours

Work for tips as a mixologist in your young adulthood

Master the mixologist skill and learn every drink recipe

Have a found family

Steal an item every week

Never fall below 2,000 simoleons when you are independant. If you do or are about to, start doing whatever is necessary. We will never hit rock bottom

Marry a rich sim, have a child with them and kill your partner off

Generation 8 - Air

Child of air, your life so far has been turbulent and chaotic. Your parents death has scarred you and you have floated through life lost. You try to travel on the right path for your late parent, but you can't help but feel there is more to life than what meets the eye. There are sounds at night that wake you, unexplained foresight into future events and a pull to the paranormal. Perhaps it is time to stop fighting this unknown path and instead let the winds carry you to where you are meant to be.

Traits: Good, Light Sleeper, Unlucky, Over-Emotional, Neurotic

LTW: Master of Mysticism/Paranormal Profiteer

Job: Fortune Teller/Ghost Hunter

Requirements:

Join a base game job in young adulthood. Quit once you reach level 3

Reach level 10 of your chosen career

Donate money to charity every week to honour your late parent

Marry a supernatural or one of your clients

Do one exceptionally good thing in your lifetime (examples include: cure a supernatural, adopt a child, revive a dead sim)

Have a close relationship with your children

Generation 9 - Space

Child of space, you certainly are special. With your parents holding a unique view on the world and the afterlife, you grew up with an open mind and childlike awe of life's wonders and mysteries. Your parents advocated for you to question the world, and question you did! You excelled in your studies and took a particular interest in space. Is it true you become a star if you die?

Traits: Genius, Childish, Athletic, Slob, Ambitious

LTW: Perfect Student

Job: Military

Requirements:

Keep straight A's throughout school

Go to university and achieve a perfect GPA

Master the logic skill

Reach space by becoming an astronaut (Reach level 10 of the military career)

Have an alien baby

[artificial-transmutations]

Out Now: Dam Breakers

Hello everyone! I'm extremely excited (and, quite frankly, more than a bit nervous) to announce that I finished my fantasy romance novel Dam Breakers!

For the very TLDR-version: It is available here! Be sure to read the disclaimer below, though.

First of all, thank you! Everyone who reads my stories or likes them shows me that there is at least some interest in my mediocre writing. And even though the novel is not exactly like my stories here (more to that later), it gives me hope that you and other people might like it.

Now, for the actual novel!

Dam Breakers is the tale of Jared, a rather normal modern day college student, and Aleron, an apprentice mage living in a secluded tower with his teacher. One fateful day, they meet and are drawn into a maelstrom of magic, change and love - and dark secrets threatening to destroy everything they loved.

With over 120000 words, this is not only my longest story yet, but also my most carefully crafted one. I will attach an image of my Obsidian graph for the story at the end of the post.

Disclaimer:

As I have mentioned, it is a bit different from the stories I usually post here. First and foremost, it's a lot tamer. This novel isn't meant as a porn piece, but as an intriguing fantasy and romance tale. While there is love, desire and sex, of course, it's way more sparse and less explicit than, for example Closer Than Flesh.

It also features transformation themes, and the concept of change is one of the main focus points of the book, but, again, don't expect 500 pages full of transforming bodies because of it :)

And, finally, for a multitude of reasons, it does not contain AI generated images. I wouldn't be able to generate any that do the story justice, anyway.

Now that you know what not to expect, here are some things you MAY expect:

Transformation. Both in the sense of bodily changes but intriguing character development as well.

Gay Love. This is a story about two men from different worlds falling in love with each other, and their stony road to being together.

Magic. It's a fantasy story, and a truly enchanting one at that, with a fresh concept of magic and change.

Story. Last, but certainly not least, it's a good and interesting read, at least according to my opinion. Since I might be a bit biased here, let me tell you that my beta readers agree.

If you still want to read it (and I hope you do!), then you can grab your copy here:

If you are not in the US, you can just replace the .com with, for example, .co.uk to go to your local Amazon marketplace

I have not forgotten, of course, that I promised a special condition for you folks at Tumblr. Since Amazon makes it a bit difficult to actually implement that, I plan to offer a time limited discount or giveaway in a few weeks. I'll announce the exact time here on my blog beforehand.

If you really want to support me, it would mean a lot to me if you could leave a review on Amazon. That influences the algorithm a lot and helps the book get visibility, which is incredibly important . So, please, if you like the book, leave a review.

Teaser / Preview (mild spoilers)

And here is a short look into the book, from chapter 4. It contains some mild spoilers, but nothing too important. I also added an AI image, which is not in the book (see above).

[...]

Even though the weather was unstable, Jared enjoyed the journey through the vibrant spring land. It was a closeness to nature he had never experienced. Even back home with his parents, in rural Texas, the land had seemed different. Back there, the wilderness had been tamed decades if not centuries ago. There was no wonder, no adventure. Here, there were hills and forests, rivers and bogs, and who knew what else. It was as if Jared was seeing the world for the first time. Not to mention the smell. Jared could not remember a time when he had smelled the spring air like this.

In addition to the landscape, Jared's traveling companion also played a big part. Aleron was an intelligent and witty conversationalist, and Jared learned a lot about his new friend. They spoke of everything under the sun, and Jared told stories of his home, of modern inventions and the differences between this world and his. Even though Aleron was fascinated by his tales, he was also clearly skeptical about some of them, especially when it came to the more complex topics. That was only fair, though, as Jared himself had a hard time believing the fantastic stories of this world, even after having experienced some with his own eyes. Dragons, for example. It didn't matter how often Aleron recited what little information he had about those magnificent beasts, something in Jared resisted fully believing in them. He hoped that he would be able to see one of them for real - although Aleron repeatedly stressed how dangerous they were - in order to be able to fully believe in them.

While Aleron's world was certainly magical, it wasn't all like in the Lord of the Rings. There were, for example, no other humanoid races, as Jared learned. No elves, dwarves or orcs, at least to Aleron's knowledge, which, to be fair, mainly included the Kingdom of Myrthien. Although the Whispering Woods were not technically a part of Myrthien, and were generally considered wilderness, it was clear that they were no part of another nation either. The closest neighboring country to the Whispering Woods would either be the Golden Isles beyond the coast south of Eldoria or the Verdant Lands to the west. According to Aleron, the Verdant Lands couldn't really be considered a nation, too. It was more of a loose confederation of tribal communities, living in the characteristic dense forests of that region.

As Helena had promised, Luminara wasn't difficult to find. The capital of Myrthien was well known and if there was a sign post somewhere, it was sure to point to Luminara.

There was no shortage of smaller and bigger settlements, and about every third or fourth night they were able to sleep in beds. During the other nights, they made camp a bit off the road in order not to attract too much attention. It was one of those nights, about two weeks after they had left Eldoria, that Jared woke up in the middle of the night. Aleron, who was sleeping next to him, was moving in his sleep and occasionally made a sound, which had caused Flicker to gain a bit of distance to the sleeping man.

It was clear to Jared that his friend was dreaming, and he briefly considered waking him up from his nightmare. However, judging by the sounds, Jared began to suspect that Aleron was not having a nightmare but quite the opposite, although the dream seemed to be just as intense.

Quietly, he left the tent, careful not to wake the sleeping mage. Outside, he was greeted by the stars and a clear sky with an almost full moon. The campfire was almost dead, just a few embers and ashes were left. It was a quiet, peaceful night, and Jared decided to go to the nearby lake to drink. Aleron had never once shown a single sign of sexuality before, except for demonstrating a certain uneasiness around nudity and related topics. He never had commented on any woman - or man - in a suggestive way, so Jared had been half- convinced that this whole topic didn't have any relevance to the mage at all.

Of course, for his own reasons, Jared had avoided the subject as well, so, perhaps Aleron thought the same about him. Jared didn't mind that. As magical as this world was, he had yet to encounter a single sign of same-sex attraction. Perhaps this wasn't a thing here, biologically, or perhaps it was socially frowned upon, like in his world's medieval ages - or rural Texas, present day. In any case, there was absolutely no reason to bring that topic up, so he didn't. Not bringing up his sexuality was a sport he was very experienced in for 9 years straight now, after all.

As Jared neared the lake, he was feeling weird and tingly all over. It was not entirely unpleasant, but it stirred a vague memory in Jared. He had felt this feeling once before, but he couldn't quite recall when.

When he bent down to scoop some water into his hand, he stopped before his fingers touched the surface of the lake. The moon was bright, and Jared could see his reflection in the mirror-smooth water quite well. The only problem was that it was not him who was looking back at him.

Of course, there was a strong resemblance, but the details weren't right. His face looked somewhat stronger, his jawline a bit squarer. His hair a bit lighter and styled like the day he first stepped out of the mirror. On his chin, there was a short well-groomed beard even though he had shaved just last morning. It wasn't just his face, though. As he looked down on himself, he looked fitter than he should, as if he was visiting a gym regularly. In fact, the definition of muscle on his torso increased further, just as he was watching. Suddenly, the wonder was replaced by fear. He had felt that way before, and now he remembered when. It had been during his first visit to Aleron's world, when his body was 'destabilizing' as Aleron had put it. Given, the feeling had been stronger then, but it was definitely the same. And now, his body was changing again, and he was weeks of travel from the magic mirror.

Half-panicking, he sprinted back to the tent, not caring about being quiet anymore. Perhaps Aleron knew what to do! He ducked into the entrance and called out to the mage.

"Aleron, wake up!"

Almost immediately, the apprentice jolted awake. "Jared? What is wrong?"

"I... don't know, it's me. Look at me!"

After a few words of encouragement, Flicker began burning brighter, allowing them to see in the tent as well. Aleron looked at the half-naked Jared critically for a few moments before asking: "Okay... what am I looking for?"

"Can't you see? I'm..." However, as Jared looked down on himself, everything was fine again. He was looking at his plain old self, just as he should look like. The tingling feeling was gone, too.

"Oh." Jared felt incredibly stupid all of a sudden. "I... must have been imagining things."

[...]

If you liked the teaser, be sure to give the whole thing a read :)

Let me close with another whole-hearted Thank You for your continued interest!

Stay awesome!

And here, as promised, a peek at the creative complexity of the story:

[fsnotes]

“If I skated for the sake of winning, I would do it differently”

On December 29th a morning radio programme Dome Square on Latvijas Radio 4 broadcasted an interview with Deniss (in Russian). They discussed figure skating in Latvia, plans for the future, ways to deal with tiredness and avoiding the burnout, and of course dived into personal and sports philosophy. There are also some New Year wishes to the listeners!

Full recording available here.

Translation into English below the cut.

In December Deniss Vasiljevs became a seven-time champion of Latvia. ‘If I skated for the sake of winning, I would do it differently’, says the athlete about his performances in an interview with my colleague Natalya Meshcheriakova for “Dome Square”. The talented athlete spoke about his rules of life, summarised the results of the past year, set goals for the future, and also shared how he prefers to recuperate.

DV: I really enjoy coming back to Latvia. When I see all the younger generations, it makes me very happy, and in its own way it motivates me to keep skating and to keep, in fact, skating for them too. And to come to Latvia… There are not so many competitions in December, and to skate at your home ice rink, to do a full competition and try new elements is always very, very nice and very important for figure skating in the country. And I have always been motivated to do something useful for society (Deniss used the English word here, then translated himself). So it is a great pleasure for me to be here.

NM: The languages are getting confused, aren't they? What's that about, is it because you spend most time outside of Latvia?

DV: I speak English practically all the time; also French, and I learnt Latvian, and I speak mostly Russian with my parents, so I have a little bit much [of the languages]. Even German manages to get in. Anyway, I'm still readjusting. I need a couple of days to fully come back and think in the language I speak.

NM: But you are in Latvia for a smaller part of the time. If you take a year, how much time do you spend here?

DV: This year, so far, I have only spent two days in Latvia.

NM: And where are you mostly based then?

DV: Now I'm in Switzerland, in Champéry, but I'm travelling a lot because of figure skating competitions, basically flying around the world. I've flown round the planet at least three times this year.

NM: Three times... Yes, I understand that there are competitions, there is a goal, motivation, but how do you fight fatigue? It probably requires a huge amount of, well, physical strength, and some special approach. How do you avoid the burn out?

DV: We have two opportunities to rest during a season; sometimes three. There are Christmas holidays, or New Year's Eve. These are very social ones. Then in the end of the season — somewhere in May — we get a real vacation, but usually it isn't longer than two weeks. And there's one just before the start of the season, two or three days, because the heavy summer preparation ends and seasonal work begins.

In a way, you get used to it. It's indeed very difficult when you can't sleep, when you have time zone changes all the time. Say, this year: I got a Grand Prix event in the US and another one in China. I went to China to compete for a week, came back for a week; went to America for a week, came back for a week to go somewhere else to compete again; spent a week again, and came back to China for a week; then came back to train for a week, and the next week I had to be [in Riga]. All this travelling, ice sessions, flying and training, it's hard enough. When it's not your first year like this, you adapt in your own way, but it's always very hard on the body. Just like now, when we're halfway through the season and you feel like you're already kind of a squeezed lemon.

NM: And how do you regain your strength? What helps you? What gives you that full-fledged rest, when you have it, yes, you said, in May, in December?

DV: Mostly I barricade myself in my room (laughs). Nothing but sleeping helps. So, my version of rest is mostly finding a quiet place and sleeping. Yet music is mostly used for work. I tend to relax, maybe, listening to classical music in the evening, or jazz, but…

NM: Probably with classical music you already imagine, like, how you would skate to this tune. It's a professional deformation already.

DV: Yeah, yeah, that's exactly what it is. At one point, especially a couple of years ago, everything I did was about figure skating. Completely. Listening to music, watching ballet, doesn't matter no matter. I was watching the body movements and imagining how it's all going to look like, which is a little bit…. It makes you go crazy. To me, studying helped a lot.

NM: What do you mean exactly?

DV: I completed my Masters this year. It really helped me to... get out of figure skating? To just study and then come back to train and work.

NM: Where did you study, and how?

DV: In Latvia, at Daugavpils Universitāte. I got a lot of help with timing there, so I was able to study relatively freely in general. It helped a lot to not go crazy with sports. But in general everyone survives in their own way. My option is to always be interested in what's going on around me; learning something, trying to do something. Drawing.

NM: In the context of the year, how do you evaluate yourself? We know about your achievements, successes. Were these the goals you set for yourself?

DV: I've been skating for quite a few years now, and I have my own opinion of the system which is perhaps different from how many people understand it. So I chose my aspiration a long time ago: to try to compete with myself only. If I skated to win, I would do it differently. I skate because I enjoy it and because I'm as supportive as my coach is of being... a little old school. It's all about charisma, beauty, performance. Sport is a culture in its own way, rather than just athletics on ice. That's why the attitude is different in many ways: how we create the program, how we do everything. We stick to certain foundations, you could say, a certain quality, and we are very proud that we do it with virtue (Deniss used the English word again, translating himself right after).

NM: Seems like this approach is justified. Your awards prove it's the right bet.

DV: Sport is so much more than any award. Sport is a way of life, it's a... path of excellence (the English phrase in original). You have to do it the right way. You have to be honest, you have to really live according to those views; they are not for the sake of results, they are much more than that. And they create a better society. You support society through actually living with these... I don't know, values (the English word again). It's a way of living, and in its own way it requires you to be a leader of your own self.

NM: Does your coach help you with that, or are you just that kind of person on your own?

DV: It's certainly cultivated at first. It's how we teach the kids. Current figure skating is too much like... you take a board, sand it down and make it into a stool ("taburetka" in original). That's not how sport was intended to be. Sport is when you plant a seed and you keep watering it, create sunny conditions, and it grows. That's why you create a greenhouse — so that the seed grows better.

The idea is that you develop yourself. You can be clumsy, you can be gawky, but you do it yourself. You create your own character from the way you understand and explore the world. It's not that you've been grown and made, it's that you've grown yourself. And the help was in telling you: there's a jungle over there, go cut through it. Not just telling you that there is a road over there, take it and follow it, and let everyone rush and stand in traffic. That's why sport is self-exploration, a kind of self-awareness. Freedom to develop yourself. A never-ending road. So being an athlete is more than just doing your sport. And to be a good athlete, you have to develop yourself in so many ways. Figure skating is one of the best options, because you have not only athletics, but also choreography, dancing, theatre art. You need to bring a whole idea of a program to life... And don't get me started on costumes!

NM: But not everyone can probably take it. Too many things at once.

DV: It takes a lot of discipline, which you choose yourself very early on. Someone has to give you a push, but the choice is your own. A lot of kids probably can't make their own choice: you have to know what discipline is, and then you also have to know what you want. I don't even know how to do it right, but so many get off the tracks right at this point.

So I've seen what, four shifts already? I've been to two Olympics. It's been eight... nine years in seniors, and that's quite a long road. But there's no perfect way; you find your own. I don't aim to rack up maximum points or run the maximum time or do the perfect technique. I look at it more generally [broader]. I must be magnetic in my own way; express the idea of striving for perfection, and honour the fact that one can't achieve perfection.

But you should always strive to do your best in whatever you do; it doesn't matter if it's sports, studies, whatever. You've got to build character. And it will epitomise what you do later on. In sports, on the ice, off the ice, everywhere.

NM: Based on that, what are your plans for next year? Are you setting any goals?

DV: For now, I'm just aiming to... Every day it's pretty hard for me to keep myself in control, especially when I'm tired, and I just want to qualify for the Olympics and give my best. I have plans that I don't want to announce yet because they still, well, need to be done, and there's definitely science (the English word followed by self-translation), scientific evidence as to why it shouldn't be done. At least I really want to qualify and go to the Olympics for the third time. To really showcase the Latvian culture of sport!

Sport is much more than what we see on the ice during the four minutes of skating. It is, after all, the way training happens; the way we live; in general, everything we do epitomises a whole different world. In its own way. One illustration would be, for example, if you make coffee, you work on it so intensely that it ends up being some of the best coffee you'll ever drink. A lot of people probably don't question how you can make it better, better, better, better. But if you watch athletes who do strive for something greater, they usually can't separate an ordinary commitment from the sports one. Such aspiration for perfectionism is the lot of athletes.

NM: And your wishes, for the people of Latvia, for the listeners? The next year is about to come...

DV: It is possible to start life every day. Basically... this will probably sound silly, but one of the philosophies is that when you live, you need to die every morning. Every day is the last day. That's the only way you can make the most of it.

I guess my wishes are these: move and aspire every day. Aspire to do a little bit better, and to do a little bit easier, because easier is better! Aspire to live in motion; direct life towards something.

[hoedamn-eron]

baby, please - part 9

After your disastrous call with your parents, you decide to take yourself baby shopping. You invite Santi.

Warnings: A long chapter. Mentions of being sick, so emetophobia warning. Brief mention of unsupportive family members. Some swearing. Had to find a shopping mall in Florida and navigate through it so please excuse the inaccuracies on which stores are actually in there. Like mega fluffy towards the end. Barely proofread. Word count: 4,974 F!Reader, no use of Y/N.

This isn't my favourite chapter, it didn't go the way I had planned it, and even after a few rewrites it's still doesn't feel right. Also, I wrote so much of this before my One Drive decided to crash and it didn't save anything, despite me having my autosave on, so I lost like 5 hours worth of work. And I happened to have been written during a bad week at work so it's probably not my best.

Part 8 ● Series Masterlist ● Part 10

The following weeks after your disastrous call with your parents and sisters were a blur of work and preparations of pregnancy and birth. Your company’s new clients, who were ‘happy with the updates to their social media, and a few print outs every now and then’, were taking up most of your time, but that wasn’t an awful lot of time. So when you were at home, you were reading all the baby books you could find, trying to absorb as much information as possible.

Regarding your birth, you had been looking into a birth plan. You wanted to go as naturally as you possibly could. You were interested in a home birth, with a birthing pool. You read up about the benefits of being in a familiar environment and an unhurried birth, but you were carrying twins. It would be more difficult than a single baby birth, and what if something went wrong? What if you had to be rushed to the hospital? If there was an emergency, you didn’t want to wait for an ambulance and travel. And also, you would need a bigger place for that, which may not have happened for you yet. So, you were leaning towards a birth at the hospital. Sure, it won’t be as relaxed as you would have liked but if you wait as long as possible to go, then you wouldn’t be there for long. Your insurance did only cover a three day stay at the hospital.

 You’d talk it through with Santi, but you’re not going to see him until your next appointment.

Your bad mood hadn’t gone unnoticed. Emily had been hovering over you for the past few days, doing odd jobs for you and just generally keeping an eye on you. You’d be flattered if she wasn’t so…concerned all the time.

“Is everything okay?” Emily asked you for the eightieth time that week.

You don’t even react anymore. “I’m fine, Emily,” you answer robotically, almost a habit to you now.

“You just seem really down,” Emily said, pouting as she leaned forward in her chair, looking at you with sad eyes.

“I had a fight with my family, that’s all,” you replied. “It’s nothing new.”

She stared at you for a moment before nodding. “Okay. Just let me know if you need anything. A snack or a coffee.”

You glance at her as she turned back to her computer. You were convinced she knew about the pregnancy. She hadn’t outright said it, or indicated otherwise, and yeah, Emily was nice, but not this nice. You wondered if Santi had said anything, but when you had asked about it in the past, he didn’t sound like he’d told Emily.

You shake your head at yourself and return to your computer. You’re just being paranoid. And a Negative Nancy.

Although your bump was starting to show a little bit, even as early was you were, and it wouldn’t be long until you had to come out to work that you were expecting. You had already drafted an email up to Harriet to send whenever you were ready, you just needed to get to that point. But you were enjoying your own little pregnancy bubble for now, you had time to tell her, and the rest of the office.

You sigh as you lean back in your chair, staring at the email trail you had going with a potential new client. You needed some new clothes. Your pants were getting tighter each week and you were uncomfortable most days. When you were at home, you lived in a pair of sweatpants that belongs to a long-lost ex-boyfriend, in times gone by. You never bothered to get in touch to return them after your break-up, because, honestly, they were too comfy to go back. Maybe you could treat yourself to some retail therapy that weekend; you hadn’t started buying baby things yet, don’t people already have at least a few items at this point? Maybe you should get started.

You could invite Santiago and give yourself the opportunity to talk about the birth plan.

You bite your lip as you stood from your desk. “I’ll be right back,” you say to Emily, already turning and pulling your phone out of your pocket. You barely heard her acknowledgement before you make your way out of your office and to reception.

You scroll for his number before calling him. It doesn’t take long until Santi’s answering, “Hey, cariño, everything okay?”

You pause, suddenly think that you’re being too forward; too hasty. You could have waited to call until after work when you were at home. Hell, you didn’t even need to call, you could have just texted him. All because you wanted to know if he wanted to go baby shopping with you this weekend. This wasn’t an urgent thing, you could have made the same arrangements tomorrow. You shake your head at yourself, muttering about what an idiot you were, about to tell him ‘goodbye’, you ‘hadn’t mean to call him’ –

“Hey,” he called your name down the phone at your sudden silence. “Are you all right? Is something wrong?”

“N-no, sorry,” you say, feeling your face warm and suddenly feeling shy. “I didn’t mean to call. Well, I did, but I should have called after work, I’m sorry. Did I take you away from something important?”

“No, not at all,” Santi replied.

You both fall into silence. It wasn’t awkward but it wasn’t comfortable either. You faltered for a moment before you blurted out, “Do you want to come shopping with me? This weekend? On Saturday, I mean. For the babies?”

You were met with quiet, and you had thought he had hung up on you, but he eventually answered, “Sure. Anything in particular you were looking for?”

“No, not really,” you say. “I just…wanted to have a look around, you know? Get some clothes or something.”

“Yeah, yeah, sounds good,” Santi replied. “There’s some baby store that Frankie recommended, we could go there.”

“Yeah, that sounds good,” you say. “I can…meet you there or we could together, if you wanted?”

“Yeah,” Santi says, before he blurts out, “I can pick you up. If you want.”

You bite your lip. You’d made the point since you found out you were pregnant to keep things as separate as you could, more for Santi’s sake really (and because you didn’t want to rely on anyone). But, your chest warms, for some reason, at the thought of going together to the store.

You give a small smile. “Okay. It’s 11am okay or is that too early?”

“That’s fine, cariño,” says Santi. “I’ll see you on Saturday.”

“I’ll see you then,” you say before saying your goodbyes and hanging up.

You wait outside your apartment building for Santiago. You’d been thinking about your shopping trip all week and you were feeling oddly nervous. You weren’t sure why, you’d seen Santiago many times before, but not this…casually. Not regarding the pregnancy, anyway. The only time you had really spent together was for prenatal appointments.

Throughout the week, you were toying with the idea of texting him, cancelling the whole shopping trip and just going by yourself, or even with your friends. But you hesitated, since Santiago said he wanted to be involved, and it would be a good bonding experience for you both. You were in each other’s lives now for the next nineteen years, after all. You wanted your children to grow up in happy, healthy households, where their parents could communicate openly.

You were pulled out of your thoughts when Santi pulled up in front of you in his truck. You desperately wanted to ask him if he was thinking about getting a car, just something that would be able to fit two car seats. But you’d already changed so much of his life already, and you didn’t want to push his boundaries. You climbed into his truck, sending him a ‘hi’ as you close the door behind you.

You buckle yourself in as you ask, “So where is this place anyway?”

“Florida Mall,” Santi replied as he set off. “It’s called The Children’s Place. Frankie says it’s mostly clothing but there’s a Dillard’s and a Macy’s for other stuff if we wanted to look.”

You nod. “Yeah, okay, that’s fine. I was looking at Ikea for the big furniture anyway,” you say. “And I need a bigger place for that, so it can wait for now.”

Santi nodded. “I can help you out with that too, if you need,” Santi offered, glancing at you for a moment before turning his eyes back to the road. “Don’t want you lugging around heavy furniture when you’re pregnant.”

You push down the warm feeling you felt in your chest as you nod at him. “I’ll let you know when I have it.”

There was an awkward pause before Santi broke it. “I’ve been meaning to bring this up to you, and I get that it might be a little early but…what’s the situation going to be when they’re here?”

Your brow furrows. “What do you mean?”

“Do I need to get furniture too?” Santi asked, giving you another glance. “Because it’s not a problem if I do. I have a spare room and it’s big enough for two cribs. Maybe. I’ll have to clear it out, I’m using it as storage for the moment.”

You stare at him for a moment, that warm feeling coming back to your chest tenfold. He wanted to have the baby furniture at his place? He wanted to have the chaos and the mess that two babies would bring? You vaguely think of if he brought women home back to his place, how they’ll question if he had kids or where the kids were, would it ruin his game? What if he decided to get with someone seriously and they didn’t want the baggage of children from a previous relationship (using the term very loosely). Like you mentioned before, you didn’t want to be telling him what to do. You’d encroached on his life enough already.

“Hey, I know those cogs are working overtime, don’t overthink it,” said Santiago at your silence. “I’ve told you, I’m in this with you. I don’t mind if my life changes a little bit.”

You take a deep breath before letting it go. “Okay.” You nod. “You should get some furniture. I want them to have a relationship with you so it would be nice if they could spend some time with you at your place.”

Santiago nodded before turning to you and giving you a closed smile. “Okay then.”

You chat idly for the rest of the journey about what you had both been up to since the last time you saw each other, and you brought up how your friends were doing and how your family now know that you were pregnant.

“And? How did it go?” he asked, an eyebrow raised in question. “With your family?”

You go quiet before answering, “Not as pleased as my friends were.”

You leave it at that. He doesn’t pry, just gives a nod, and says he’s sorry to hear that they weren’t as supportive. You shrug, looking away from him because you refused to cry about it anymore than you already have, telling him that you’ll get over it and you had him and your friends. It would be your parents and sisters missing out, not your babies.

You pull into the mall and Santiago parks as close as he could to the entrance, claiming that you shouldn’t be walking as far.

You laugh at him as you unbuckle your seatbelt. “I’m pregnant, not elderly.”

He shakes his head. “I’ve heard you complain enough to Jennifer about your joint aches to know you’re gonna want to sit down in about an hour.” He starts climbing out his truck.

Your mouth falls open in mock offence as you climb out the truck also. “That’s so rude, Santi!” you close the door behind you.

“Rude, but true. Come on,” he nods towards the mall entrance before you join him, walking together into the busy mall.

You take a look at the mall map, finding the store Frankie recommended. “It’s towards the back. It’s next to a Build-a-Bear.”

“We can look in those too, if you want,” Santi says.

You grin. “I always wanted a Build-a-Bear when I was a kid,” you said. “My mom would never let me get one.” Your face falls at the mention of your mother.

Santiago, ever the observant, quickly changes the subject. “We can get one each for them. We’ll both pick an outfit for them.” He grins at you.

You take a moment before plastering a smile on your face. “Sure. Oh! Can we stop at a candy store first?”

“We can,” Santi replied, how brow furrowed slightly. “Why?”

“I’ve ran out of watermelon Sourpatch Kids,” you reply, already walking through the mall for the closest candy shop. “I’m constantly craving them. It’s all I want to eat. Think I might be funding them alone.”

Santiago gave a small chuckle, shaking his head at you. “We can get all the Sourpatch Kids you want.”

“As long as it’s watermelon,” you said, giving him a pointed look.

He sighs in amusement, putting his hand on your back and leading you through into the mall as he nods. “As long as it’s watermelon.”

It doesn’t take you long to find the candy shop, Santi making the joke that your pregnancy gave you the nose of a bloodhound. You snorted a laugh before buying four packs of watermelon Sourpatch Kids. Santi’s eyes widened as you stuffed them in your bag before opening one as you both walk out of the store. “That many?” he asked.

You gave him a look before he raised his hands slightly in defence. “They’re so good,” you mutter, before chewing on a sweet slowly, giving a light moan as the taste.

“Cravings hit you this week?” Santi asked.

“Like you wouldn’t believe,” you say, already eating another sweet. “They’re all I think about. These and Diet Coke.” You shake the open bag of candy for emphasis. You hesitate before asking if he wanted one, and to your relief, he said no.

“Not a candy kind of guy,” Santi said as you both meander through the mall.

“Good, ‘cause I only offered to be polite,” you said, taking another from the bag.

Santi huffed a laugh through his nose before nodding around the stores. “So, where do we start?”

“Let’s go to the place Frankie recommended,” you say. “I’m curious.”

You both made your way to the store, grabbing a basket as you walk in. The place was full of colours, with character shirts and holiday specific clothing. Santiago stuck close by, taking a look around and asking for your opinions on some things. Between the two of you, you ended up grabbing a copious amount of baby vests and baby grows, mostly white, and some tiny socks which you had internally freaked out over at the size (so tiny!).

You also excitedly grabbed a few holiday themed outfits for the next year.

“That’s hideous,” Santi said as you look at an obnoxious Christmas jumper for a nine-month-old.

You smirked, obviously agreeing with him, but deciding to mess with him a bit. “But it’s so cute, and small. Can you imagine how cute a little baby would be in this?”

“Please don’t get it,” laughed Santiago.

“I’m gonna get it,” you say, putting it in your basket before grinning. “To spite you.”

You pretended a few moments later that you hadn’t seen him discreetly pick up the jumper and put it back on the rack. And you both didn’t say anything about the ‘missing jumper’ when you went to pay either.

With Santi carrying your bags that he offered with some dispute from you, you make your way to any other baby shops you could find. You got a little teary (damn hormones!) as you looked at the shoes and more socks, and some of the costume you found, like the little Mickey and Minnie set you found, or a Beauty and the Beast dress, which happened to be your favourite movie when you were a kid.

When you made your way into Cotton On Kids, you found yourself some maternity pants and jeans, and that’s where you realised that Santiago was a browser. He briefly mentioned that he wasn’t much of a shopper for himself, never mind other people. Especially kids. But you saw him eyeing up a pair of white sneakers and a couple of Metallica t-shirts. You encouraged him to buy them if he liked them; they could stay at his place and the babies could wear them when they were staying over.

He hesitated before grabbing two pairs of each, looking down at the shirts and thumbing at the material before smirking up at you. “My favourite band,” he said.

You smiled and shook your head as you went to make your purchases.

After a while, you did in fact need to sit down, just like Santi predicted. You both decided it was probably a good stopping point to have some lunch anyway, since you had nearly worked your way through two of the four bags of candy you had bought earlier. You took a seat as Santi went to Five Guys, getting some burgers and fries, and the biggest Diet Coke they offered.

“How’s your morning sickness?” Santi asked as he sat down opposite you.

You shrug. “Better but still not great. I’ve taken to drinking ginger tea instead of coffee nowadays to ease it.”

“And does it?” Santi asked, unwrapping his burger.

You pulled a face but nodded anyway, unwrapping your own burger. “It did a bit but it tastes disgusting. I’m going to give mint tea a try, since Gabrielle told me try that with lemonade. It helped her, apparently.”

You talk about stuff happening at work, your new clients, your suspicion that Emily might know you’re pregnant, something that Santiago laughed at.

“She had to take in a book for me,” he replied. “‘The Expectant Dad's Survival Guide’ that Frankie’s kindly let me borrow.”

You give him a swat on the arm. “You’re the reason she thinks something’s up,” you laugh. You make a mental note to get your own books.

You eat your food and talk some more about your upcoming appointment next week and you mentioned to Santi that you were thinking about a birth plan; since you were having twins, you were likely to go into early labour, so you wanted to be as prepared as possible.

“And what are you going to do?”

You sigh. “I think I’ll just go for a standard hospital birth, as natural as possible. I’d like a home birth but I’m paranoid something is going to go wrong.”

“You can talk to Jennifer about it,” said Santi. “She’ll know more about it than we will.”

You finish your food, feeling more relaxed than you did before as Santiago grabbed the bags. You make a quick detour to the bathroom to puke your guts up. You might have to give up cheese at this point, since it always seems to trigger your morning sickness. You come out of the bathroom, Santi handing you a bottle of water that he very nicely got for you. Your heart swells as you take a sip before you both make your way round the rest of the mall.

You do, in fact, take a look in Build-a-Bear, but decide on getting them another day. You made sure Santi promised to come with you.

After a few more stops (and a few more bags of toys and clothing for the babies and you), you make your way into H&M. Gabrielle had mentioned they were good for kids clothing, but you did notice everything was looking a little sad and beige, but you gave Gabrielle the benefit of the doubt. Santi had wandered off since he mentioned he needed to look at some jeans for himself, so you moseyed through the clothing, spotting a few bits of clothing you liked.

You don’t pay much attention to wear you’re walking, and you give a small ‘oomf!’ as you lightly bump into someone, quickly apologising before you take a good look at him, your eyes widening. “Craig!”

He looks at you with confusion before a spark of recognition takes over his face. “Oh, hey,” he says, recalling your name. “How are you?”

You hadn’t heard from this guy since you cancelled your date when you found out you were pregnant. “Uh, yeah, I’m good. How’re you?”

“Not so bad,” Craig replies. He clears his throat and nods to your pile of baby clothes. “For you, or…”

You blink in confusion for a moment before looking down at the clothes. You give a laugh. “Yeah, uh…for me.” You show him your bump for a few seconds. “Just coming out of my first trimester.”

“Right,” Craig said.

“You?” you asked, nodding to the clothes in his hand.

“Nephew’s birthday.”

“Oh.” You both fall into an awkward silence.

You open your mouth to tell him goodbye, but he quickly cuts you off, “I’m sorry that I never got back to you. About our date.”

You make a noise of nonchalance. “You don’t need to be sorry for anything, I cancelled on you.”

“I know, but I was being a little bitter about it and I’m sorry, but now I see that…” he nods to your clothes bundle. “You had some…stuff going on.”

You sigh. “Yeah, well, I wasn’t feeling great, and I found out I was pregnant that night and it was…very unexpected, so…”

Craig’s eyes widened. “Oh shit, I didn’t know you cancelled from that.”

He was as good looking as you remember him, from his pictures. He was handsome, in a Clark Kent kind of way. Tall, dark hair, piercing blue eyes, he was a genuine heartthrob. It was what attracted you to him in the first place. That, and the fact he made you laugh, and he was charming, and was good fun. You wondered very briefly what would have happened if you had gone out on that date with him, if you had just put off testing for one or two days.

“Yeah, it was…a lot,” you say. “It's, uh, settled down, finally. How about you? What have you been up to?”

“Oh, you know, the usual work stuff.” He shrugged. “Work’s busy. Trying to find some free time for hobbies.” He gave a small chuckle.

“Ugh, tell me about it,” you say. “All my time at the moment is prenatal appointments and work. I’m working on setting more boundaries for myself.”

“Good for you,” said Craig. “It’s hard balancing work and life, never mind being pregnant.”

“With twins,” you say.

“With twins, no way!” Craig said. “Congrats!”

“Thank you,” you say, giving him a smile.

“Hey, hermosa,” Santi greeted, suddenly appearing at your side. “I gotta get these!” he grins excitedly, holding the small jerseys of a team you weren’t familiar with in his hands before he finally looks between you and Craig. “Sorry, am I interrupting something?”

There was something to his tone that made you think he knew he was interrupting something. “This is, erm…Craig.” You gesture to Craig. “Craig, this is Santiago,” you introduce him. “He’s the babies’ father.”

Santiago gave Craig a tight-lipped smile before holding his hand out to him. “Nice to meet you.”

Craig smiled before shaking his hand. “You too.”

“How do you know Craig?” Santiago asked you, giving you a too nonchalant look as he places his free hand on the base of your back. You mentally note it was the second time that day he’d done it that day.

You look between them before clearing your throat. “Craig and I were going to go on a date.”

“She cancelled on me,” Craig joked.

You look at him with an amused look on your face, gasping in mock upset. “Because I found out I was pregnant.”

“Oh,” Santiago said, looking between you both before he smirked. “She went on a date with me too and look what happened.” He motioned to your bump.

“Okay,” you say, grabbing Santiago’s arm, feeling your cheeks growing hot with sudden embarrassment. “Good to see you, Craig.” You call, already turning to walk away.

“You too,” Craig said. “Don’t be a stranger, okay?”

You waved your hand in acknowledgement as you walk to the other side of the store.

You take a quick glance at Santi as you stop in the girl’s section and mindlessly start looking through dresses, just for something to do. Santi, the smug bastard, was smirking at you. “He seemed nice.”

“He was. He is,” you say, still looking through the clothes, a little more aggressively.

“You should ask him out,” Santi said. “Again.”

You pause for a moment before looking at him, an unamused look on your face. “No.”

“You’re single, you should,” Santiago said. “He didn’t seem to mind you were pregnant.”

“That’s not…look, it’s complicated,” you say. “No-one wants a pregnant woman as their date.”

“Are you looking to date?” Santiago asked.

You give him a look. “Why are you being weird?”

“I’m not being weird,” Santiago said, blinking at you almost innocently.

“You are,” you say. “Why are we talking about my dating life? I haven’t even thought about dating since I found out I was carrying your spawn.”

Santiago snorted a laugh. “Charming.”

“I don’t want to talk about it anymore, Santi,” you say, turning away from him and back to the clothes, still not really looking at them. “I just wanted this to be a nice day, with you, about us and the babies.”

Santiago looked at you with an unreadable look on his face for a few moments. You didn’t know what to say, you didn’t know why you felt so embarrassed that you had ran into Craig. It had never been an issue for you before, running into an ex, but maybe it was because you were pregnant. Maybe it was because you were with Santi. Maybe it was because you just wanted to still be in your pregnancy bubble, with Santi, where everything wasn’t so fucked up, where you could pretend to be in a loving, stable relationship for the time being.

After a moment you sigh, averting your gaze. “Sorry. That was unfair to you, I shouldn’t have said that.”

“No, you’re right,” said Santi, slowly nodding. “I was a bit of an asshole, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to come across as possessive, I was just messing with you.”

You bite your lip at him as he looks down at the jerseys in his hands, and you know it’s so he doesn’t have to look at you, to keep his hands busy. You frown at him, feeling bad before you lightly clear your throat. “I’m sorry. Really. I know it’s no excuse, but my hormones are all over the place and I was really nervous about today – “

“Why?” Santiago asked, suddenly looking up at you.

“What?” you asked, blinking at him as if you missed his question.

“Why were you nervous about today?”

“Because…” you pause, sucking in your lips as you looked down at your shoes in further embarrassment before deciding just to suck it up. “Because this is the first time we’ve spent together outside of my appointments…and our date.”

Santi just looked at you in confusion. “So?”

“So,” you emphasise. “I just…wanted today to be a good day. I wanted to just feel a little bit normal about this whole thing and not just the couple who aren’t actually a couple who got pregnant after a one-night stand.”

He goes silent again as he stares at you, and you feel your cheeks burning again. God, you just can’t seem to keep your mouth shut today. Your brain obviously isn’t working and it’s probably best if you just stick to being casual with Santi and not try to force anything, like you said before.

You open your mouth to tell him that you should probably go, but he beat you to it.

“This is still new to both of us,” he said. “And I know you have your way of doing things and you want to be the best you can at this, and I don’t doubt you will,” Santi raises his eyebrows pointedly at you at you give him a look. “But you have to remember that it’s not just you. Okay? I feel like I’m walking on eggshells because you’re so Goddamn independent that I’m worried I’m going to say the wrong thing and upset you. Like before.”

You sigh, throwing your head back. “I’m sorry.”

“And stop apologising when you haven’t done anything wrong,” Santiago said. “Stop worrying you’re going to upset me.”

You give another sigh before you look at him. “We need to learn to communicate better.”

Santi faltered before nodding. “We do.”

“We should talk more, outside of,” you motion to your bump. “This.”

“We should,” he gave another nod.

“I’m…” you were about to apologise again but stopped yourself, deciding to go in a different direction. “I’m glad you wanted to come with me today.”

“Are you kidding? And miss out on embarrassing you in front of an almost date?” Santiago grinned as you swatted him arm.

“Asshole,” you muttered before motioning for him to follow you. “Come on, let’s go and buy these football jerseys,” you say, smiling at the small shirts still in his hands.

“It’s a baseball team,” Santiago replies, smirking and falling into step with you.

“Shut up,” you say, giving him a good-natured shove as he laughs at your blunder.

Tagged - @khonsulockley, @bluenredndeath

[rolloollor]

Do you have any headcanons for rollo and malleus?

I don't have a list prepared or anything, but I can ramble for a while. I'm guessing this refers to the game universe, so I'll focus on that. I'm also going to divide it into a few sections. To no one's surprise, it's very mallerollo centric.

Loneliness

While I think Rollo would dote on children, I also think that he might avoid them. Especially boys that remind him of Jehan. He may spurn them entirely just to avoid the potential loss. It could be why he isolates himself in general, both as a kind of self-inflicted punishment and as a way to protect himself. 

Rollo himself isn't lonely, though. He gets plenty of social interaction at school and even heads the student council. Sure, he isn't close to anyone, but some don't crave that. And people really seem to love him regardless. They simply aren't "good enough" for him, though. They're stupid, they're magic-drunk mages, they don't see the world as it is, unlike Rollo. But deep down, he must want someone to tell him that what happened to Jehan wasn't his fault well enough that he could believe them. His parents may have told him this, but he doesn't take them at their word. What do they know, they didn't see it happen. What does anyone know? But Malleus is such an authority on magic, he understands it better than most anyone alive. Maybe he's believable. Maybe.

As far as I recall, Malleus doesn't initially feel lonely in the story. He's very close to Lilia and decently close to Silver and Sebek. But the potential loss of Lilia is too much for him. He needs someone to cling to, someone he knows will be there for him. Part of him knows Lilia can't be this person--even when he was a child, Lilia would travel around and had things to do. And, more recently, he started raising Silver. The fact that Lilia is probably his favorite person, while Lilia (from Malleus' perspective) may not actually put Malleus "first," probably bothers him. I imagine it's something he's keenly aware of. Anyone that engages him romantically is taking a huge risk tbh.

Malleus wants someone he can rely on and, ideally, someone who loves him the most out of anyone else in their life. Rollo lost Jehan. He has little interest in his parents or his classmates. In the end, he's alone... like Malleus is afraid of being. But because he's alone, there's no one he can put above Malleus. Well, no one alive, anyway.

Sexuality

Rollo, naturally, is sexually repressed. He's the type that gets uncomfortable around naked statues and will cover artwork of topless ladies when they pop up in a history textbook. The moment he met Malleus, he lusted after him, but this manifested as disgust and anger since he couldn't (can't) admit it to himself. Plus there's a taboo element there. Not only are they both men, but Malleus is a fae and one of the most powerful mages alive. He practically is an embodiment of magic, something that Rollo sees as a temptation to weak-willed mages. And by framing him that way, he can't help but think of Malleus as enticing.

I have no doubt in my mind that Malleus was keenly interested in Rollo from the getgo, if only because of the fact that he represented the invitation and he was the host. When Rollo revealed his plan and opened up a fucking trap door beneath the NRC boys, that interest turned hostile. It slowly shifted to a sort of respect and a bit of fear over the course of the event. Because Rollo is the only human to challenge Malleus, he is the closest thing to an equal he might have that's around. For a man who has always had immense power, this intrigues him. Rollo is dangerous, therefore, he is interesting.

I'm pretty sure both are bi. If Rollo was a woman, Malleus would still be interested in him and Rollo would probably be extremely weird about a lady Malleus. I figure fae culture may be more lax about sexuality if the Lilia thing in chapter 7 is interpreted a certain way. As for Rollo, well, he seems to me like he would be swamped with temptations like all the time. He definitely categorizes women into either Madonnas or whores. Probably does it to men, too, regardless of whether or not they're actually virgins. VP is pure, ultimately nonsexual, and also not very interesting to Rollo, while Malleus is a terrible, awful whore mage he can't get out of his head.

Miscellaneous

Rollo enjoys being both the big and the little spoon. As the big spoon, he gets to bury his face in Malleus' hair and smell him. The only issue is watching out for those horns.

Malleus is more vanilla than Rollo, but he loves getting a reaction out of him, so he leans into whatever gets Rollo going.

Rollo specifically eats grapes with the seeds in them. If he's feeling adventurous, he'll eat green grapes for lunch, but he usually regrets doing so. Just isn't right.

Malleus likes to give gifts because it reminds him of how Lilia would always bring him back a souvenir from his travels (and convey that he was thinking of him).

Rollo sometimes eyes attractive people in public without realizing he's doing it. If Malleus catches him, he'll sulk for days.

Rollo is strict with himself because he has a feeling that he'll fall into excess. And he probably would. Sex, alcohol, whatever, but especially sex. But if he doesn't end up with Malleus, he'll eventually amass an unpleasantly large collection of nude magazines. He might even go cruising somewhere...

If there's a particular topic people want to hear me go on and on about, let me know. Headcanons is kind of broad so I'm not sure if this was the sort of thing you were looking for...

[astudyinimagination]

Okay, okay, so what I'm hoping in the future is to return to my Star Wars AUs, and these are all going to take a lot of planning, but I'd like to continue them and actually finish them. Because, looking back at them, there's some good stuff in there! I want these finished just for me! :D

But if you guys want them, too, here's what I hope to get back to:

Legacy of Thrawn: AU to the Hand of Thrawn duology, wherein Thrawn's clone wakes up before Luke and Mara can kill him, and convinces them to let him help them restore order to the galaxy. This one is VERY old — I dropped it in 2010 and never finished it. It's so old that I am a significantly different person with significantly better writing skills, and I have a desperate need not just to finish the thing but rewrite it. I just... I know so much more than I did when I was twenty. xD

The Gentleness That Comes not from the Absence of Violence: My "Padmé Lives" AU. Padmé survives childbirth and takes her twins, Obi-Wan, and several of her handmaidens with her into hiding. This was my last NaNoWriMo project, and I think it's one of the best things I've ever written. The story isn't just about how Padmé's survival changes events, but how she copes with everything that's happened to her. She and Obi-Wan and the handmaidens... and eventually Ahsoka. (It was also written before the Padmé novels, so it's not rooted in the novels E.K. Johnston wrote, with all due respect to her.)

The Hermit and the Orphan: The "Obi-Wan adopts Mara" AU. Nine-year-old Mara Jade discovers that her beloved Emperor murdered her parents, and runs away... and right into Obi-Wan Kenobi on Tatooine. They proceed to adopt each other, and Mara becomes best friends with Biggs Darklighter and Luke Skywalker.

Where Light Can Be: The "Mara joins the Rebellion" AU. Same starting point, different age — Mara makes her life-changing discovery a year after the destruction of the first Death Star, and defects to the Rebellion. She ends up joining Rogue Squadron, and joins Luke on his quest to learn more about the Jedi, hoping to learn how to use her abilities in ways that don't remind her of Palpatine. Of course, she and Luke fall in love, which will have a significant impact on the aftermath of Bespin...

Star-Crossed: The hardest of all of these. Sherlock Holmes in the Star Wars universe fusion. What do an orphan-turned-Jedi, a Chiss healer, a Queen, and a Senator-turned-Chancellor have in common? Oh, that they're a private consulting detective, a former army doctor, the doctor's wife, and a mathematics professor in another universe...

Unnamed Leia time-travel AU: Double Agent Vader AU, never started. Sometime before the Battle of Hoth, Leia falls back in time to the Clone Wars, to meet General Kenobi and his former apprentice who seems eerily familiar. When she finally meets Padmé Amidala, the mysteries of her biological family and her mentor Ekkreth finally start to fall into place. Permission to write the AU given by Fialleril years ago, and I had forgotten that until recently! And now that I have some pieces of the story in my head, I am not letting this one go again!

So that's... it, I'm pretty sure. That's the stuff that I've started, mostly within the past decade, that I really want to continue. And I'm hoping to have time this coming winter to do it. (I have... other commitments plus family stuff that is definitely going to keep me from fic writing until then.)

But in the meantime, if you want to come chat with me about stuff, ask me questions... I would be so happy to talk about all the ideas I've got that are hopefully going to all make it onto AO3 someday!

[rockybloo]

Something interesting about Jack and Nana and the Red Beans ship in general is how their kids jump between being canon and being a "what if" compared to my other couples.

Jack and Nana don't have children on their "plans for the future" list and are perfectly satisfied just being together by themselves. Both are great with kids but they've never had it as a thing they are like "WE GOTTA HAVE THEM".

Originally, the concept of them having kids was actually an AU. And sometimes it still is while other times it's a peek into the way distant future of their lives. It really depends on my mood. But it's also because of how detached it is from Beanstalked-like it doesn't even happen within the course of the story like with Pluto and Nova. And it isn't even a "future thing that if they time traveled, they'll meet their kids" thing either.

It's jumping between the thing line of a "what if" and "eventually"

Hell, even Sweetheart and Bitterbat's kids are a distant "eventually" that I don't necessarily plan on touching on in comic really except maybe a few very specific circumstances. But it's so far down the line-not as far as Jack and Nana's what if kids but it's off the course of the main story where its focus is just on Bitterbat and Sweetheart.

Pluto and Nova are honestly the only ship I have where their kid happens IN story. Not in the distant future-it is literally a key plot point. And that's because of how important Comet is which is def based on their weird af conception because Nova never actually gives traditional birth. Pluto and Nova have to basically science project him together after discovering there's left overs of the alien goop that made Pluto. And rather than lock it away where it couple possibly fall into the wrong hands-they decided to just use it so they never have to worry about someone making a bigger and badder Pluto.

I think a big factor of why the whole kids timeline is so inconsistent for the other two ships, especially Red Beans, is because I myself have zero plans of having kids. So I tend to write characters who want them in a way that makes sense to me.

Sweetheart and Bittertbat want them because they love each other and they'd love to have a family together because of how much they love each other. It's basically the result of their adoration for each other. And it's not even a "WE HAVE TO HAVE KIDS" thing, they do have a talk about it first and when they both realize the other is ok with having them-it all takes off from their with the entire "oh yeah we're having 12 kids in the future" which winds up being 13 because...well this is Sweetheart and Bitterbat we're talking about.

Pluto and Nova have Comet because, as I explain, he's a good solution to a problem that could have dangerous results if unsolved. And the kid don't even behave like a traditional kid. Like-he is very smart and can mimic voices. He's more like a little chibi fusion of his parents than a baby compared to the other ship kids.

Jack and Nana don't have a goal of having kids nor are they a solution to anything. They are just kids that could happen. They also could not happen. It once again is up to them...and me. So for me, that often translates to "yeah these kids are basically a What If for them" because once again, I write these parent dynamics in a way I can understand. And if a ship is neutral about their stance on having kids-then I also am so it makes sense that their is a future with them and a future without.

[blindrapture]

july 30 and 31.

so, let's talk about the seventh cipher.

in earlier drafts, this was The Easy Final Level of the Realm King, a much simpler trek through a snowy environment. there were 8 challenges, ranging from "eat a pot noodle" to "play this song on the clarinet," a silly variety of challenges that fit more in line with cipher 6. and there were 5 mini-fights, mainly being the four bikers. a lot of that log was just Having To Walk Big Distances, and so it stretched across two logs. the final boss, on July 31, was just... The Realm King, a big blue guy who sat on a throne and was defended by waves of golden knights. again, more in keeping with cipher 6.

it was like this because I was still not in the right place to write Rapture. I had just returned home to England, in December 2011, returned back to my parents after trying to run away, after that blew up in my face. I came to Rapture because it kept me busy. and while this was at least more creative than the original San Francisco, it was absolutely anticlimactic. and I did at least turn that into a strength: I played on this being an easy final level, a real type of video game trope that usually is not intentional. I played on the strangeness of this for the protagonists, and I turned it into characterisation for this big mythical "Rapture" itself: Rapture gave us an easy final level because Rapture wants these ciphers done. admittedly I am not unhappy with that idea. (it's in keeping with MOTHER 3, in fact. a lot of the interesting ways Rapture plays with video game expectations pretty much comes from MOTHER 3-- when it doesn't come from secretcity. seriously, oh my god play MOTHER 3. it is so worth it. one of the greatest video games ever made.)

but this isn't 2011 anymore. this is 2024. this is Rapture's eighth draft. this is a new Act 2, this is DJay writing at age 29, showing what he-- I-- can do. since early in the rewrite process, a theme has been emerging: "I have to do it right this time, I have to put the work in and make a long story much denser." while I had forgotten about just how empty San Francisco was, I was very conscious of the seventh cipher and the opportunity it presented. to write a new cipher log... god, I've been dreaming of that all throughout my most unproductive years.

so.

I did the work. I put the work in. I took a few days to write this. I think I did two days per log? my first day was pure planning. my first day was this:

I planned out the level, making a map. had to stretch it across two sets of pages, but here I've arranged it so it lines up.

in the July 30th log, we start at the very top-right. we see the destination across the sea of lava, and have to travel our way around the bay and round up to the castle. the july 31st log takes place entirely in the castle on the top page.

a lot of this came rather naturally, as I was inspired by the map design of Elden Ring, how progression feels so driven by the arc of the coastline even when you're exploring these landmasses atop massive cliffs. and I was especially inspired by the layout of Castle Stormveil, which is incredibly imposing on the outside but quite based on a realistic castle inside. all I really had to do was draw a coastline and find the best place to put a defendable castle; the rest came from that.

then I just had to write it.

I was keeping the 8 challenges and the 5 fights. I was keeping the general snow-kingdom aesthetic. making the challenges and fights more cohesive was a matter of finding a unifying Scheme, and for that I chose to base them on Buddhist concepts. the 8 challenges loosely represent the Noble Eightfold Path, and the 5 fights are based on the Five Hindrances. the hardest part here was writing Jordan and Donnie's little Socratic reasonings for the eightfold riddles, though once they enter the castle the riddles are replaced with direct and immediate challenges of staying mindful in an atmosphere of extreme horror, repulsion, and despair.

I quite enjoyed fleshing out the lore here, giving the kingdom its own implied backstory, the tale of a world that could not defend against the Rapture. but of course, the Rapture is different for every world, so we can't even use this world to predict what our Rapture will be.

one of the most important steps in all of this planning turned out to be the simplest. I didn't want this guy to be called "the Realm King" this time. I was prepared to spend a while coming up with a whole new name, but naturally my first instinct was to flip the name around. King Realm? ....King Real? it's a simple name. almost feels trite, something out of a fairy tale. but something about it cut right through my core and spoke to something I wanted to bring out of Rapture this time around. I don't see it as a fairy tale name. I see it as intimidating and holy. this story has something to do with the many different "realities," the relativity of "real." a King gets to enforce a reality on his kingdom. a King enforces it because a King believes in it, that is an important part of how power works on those within the system. this King Real is not a bad guy. in fact, we end up feeling a lot of sympathy for him and his people. but Rapture is not a story where the good guys are named The Good Guys and the bad guys are named The Bad Guys. Rapture is a moral tale, maybe even moralist, but it's excruciatingly modern. it's maybe the "tale" part that's most modern. Rapture is a modern kind of tale. or, really it's ancient. it's an epic. but it's an epic translated into modern techniques. a post-Ulysses epic that is not waiting for readers to catch up with what that means. so. he's called King Real because he was named by a tradition that is not our tradition. if it sounds like a fairy tale name to us, we're still struggling to understand the implications of relativity. ....it's hard to put all this into words right now. but I felt it all in me when I saw the name "King Real."

I wrote the July 31st log while listening to music from the DOOM 2016 soundtrack on repeat. that also feels important. Doom is embedded in my subconscious by now. the original Doom, and the existence of the franchise. this is.. admittedly a really rich subject, ripe for rambles that directly connect to Rapture. just, we absolutely would not have Rapture without Doom. I think even the naming conventions are relevant here. my story's full name is OGTRIB, but I refer to it colloquially as "Rapture." there's even a section of story, currently nebulous, called "Final Rapture," which is absolutely a reference to Final Doom. Rapture and Doom. it's no accident. or, at most, it's a happy accident. why? what similarities do they have? what is it I got out of the Doom games? other than a love affair with midi rock music and the sensibilities of open source communities. a comfort in first-person video games, a love of mazes. firm confirmation that one must face injustice with the stubbornness of a shotgun. I dunno. that's something that'll take a lifetime of interpretation to work out.

/////////////////////

then there's the "other half" of this log, really more like the last fifth of it. I will say a lot less about this section, because this is the beginning of something Rapture will take a long time exploring.

the A-plot has moved out of the ciphers and into what comes next.

Guitar Hero is involved now.

and we finally meet Bones... as well as Fentzy and Danny? in earlier drafts, we actually met Fentzy and Danny way earlier. we met Danny on July 4th, the end of Act 1, and we met Fentzy on July 5th, the start of Act 2. the decision to move their introduction here, towards the very end of Act 2, was significant. it changed many things about Act 2 and basically facillitated the heavy rewrite to begin with. we needed more time with just Jordan and Donnie. that was worth it. but now we have the full party.

who is Fentzy? who is Danny? who is Bones? how will the kids all get along now? these are important questions!

you'll have to wait and see. :3

see you tomorrow.

[anonyhex]

ooh, what’s The Charlatan’s Song?

So this is less exciting than most of my WIPs I think! (Although the title is a banger hahaha) It's a Wyll/Tav story.

So my Tav (Pimpernel) is based on a half-baked idea I've had for a D&D character I've never gotten to play. In the game I made her a halfling with the charlatan background, and she's a bard that claims to be a heroic figure from a minor noble house that was disowned after a torid love affair with a woman from a much more well-established house that was about to enter an arranged marriage. She dueled her love's fiancé and won (earning a scar on her cheek in the process) but was disowned because of the negative attention it brought her own house, and she now travels throughout the land saving people from their issues and then earning money through telling her tale in taverns.

It's all a lie, as the charlatan background indicates. Her family are farmers or ranchers and are quite poor. The scar on her cheek is from a simple work accident (one idea I had was it's an injury from a boar's tusk while she was hunting or protecting her family's livestock). Her parents were killed while on the road traveling to sell their wares and she's either the oldest or second oldest of a ton of kids, many of whom aren't adults yet, and since she was dissatisfied living out in the boonies she used it as an excuse to leave and finally live out an adventure like the books she loves. Another adult sibling of hers is now the parent figure for the rest of her siblings, and she sends a lot of the money she earns as a bard back to them. Oh, and originally I planned on her having the gambler background (which isn't an option in BG3)...because the other way she earns money is by cheating in games of chance and generally being a card shark. The real reason she moves around a lot isn't because she's always on the hunt for people to protect, it's because if she sticks around too long in one place she risks getting caught. She's seen a bit of combat because she lives on the road, but not NEARLY to the extent she claims to, she's low level.

So imagine my shock when I realize Wyll is ACTUALLY the person she claims to be--a true hero, who actually is the disowned child of a noble house. Didn't know his background at all until I started playing the game and was blown away by the coincidence once I got to Waukeen's Rest.

I originally intended to romance Astarion but fumbled that BADLY (she might be lying about being a hero but she still WANTS to be one, so of course she was constantly helping others and I did not read him well at all until I got to the scene with the blood merchant so he's constantly irritated with her despite constantly getting inspiration from her because they're both charlatans lol). And once Wyll started talking about enjoying to dance...I mean, she's a BARD HALFLING, of course she's going to bug him to dance with her, so it was pretty natural to fall into Wyll's romance instead. (This is also more or less how I started getting into Wyllstarion, since they were the characters I was interacting with the most.)

The thing is...obviously the game isn't set up to give me a chance to actually play out this whole elaborate backstory with Pimpernel pretending to be the type of person Wyll actually is, only to have to admit it later to him that she's been lying about who she is. It makes sense that I can't, how in the world would a game be able to account for that? The only way I could think of would be if they did something like what Bioware did with the backstories for Dragon Age Origins and Mass Effect and Larian obviously wanted more open-ended characters for the players.

I really wished there was some way I could express what was going on with Pimpernel in the game, but I couldn't do it particularly well, so...I started trying to write it, and that's what A Charlatan's Song is.

“Oh Wyll, I never said she was a princess!” Pimpernel responded, in a tone that implied she very much was one. “Alas, it was quite a scandal. She loved me, but…well, if we had run off together, it would have damaged not only her reputation, but her family’s. So in the end, she refused me. And my family was quite mortified, and I’m one child of many, so it was easy to just…send me on my way, rather than keep me around as the family embarrassment.” 

“I’m sorry. That must have been difficult.”

“Oh, no no, I’m well suited for a life on the road. I’ve found I fit in much better in a tavern than I do in a ballroom, as much as I enjoyed my life there.” She shrugged. “And well…now you know.”

Behind her there was a slow, mocking clap. Pimpernel turned to look over her shoulder at Astarion, who was looking at her with a fang-baring grin. “Bravo! Quite deftly told, as you expect from a bard. It almost sounds like something out of a romance novel!”

Pimpernel swallowed and did her best to maintain her composure. “It does, doesn’t it? But it’s all true, I’m afraid.”

“Oh, of course, of course.”

[...]

Now he was digging into the chinks of her armor. She had something to lose, and he had been revealed and stayed safe. He had a natural royal flush, and she’d already played all her best cards.

She could only hope he’d decide to keep her secrets, for now.

So the PROBLEM IS as interesting as it would be to actually get to play this out in game...I dunno how to make her actually interesting as a character on the page without just huuuuge amount of exposition dump (I deleted a lot from this post!!) and internal monologues, and especially since I'm pretty settled in the no-Tav discord I'm just not all that interested in writing about my OC over the established characters in the game. I also don't have a good ending (my constant problem lol), especially since I still need to actually beat the game, so...ehhh...this one will probably stay abandoned at this point. Ah, well.

[purplesurveys]

1792

Have you ever had any article of clothing tailored? What for? Sure. I've always been petite so when I'm gifted or handed down clothes that are a bit too large on me, I have them altered when I have the time.

Do you watch Degrassi? If so, what do you think about it? I've never watched Degrassi but I'm quite familiar since I used to have an internet friend who was otherwise obsessed.

Do you welcome people back when they say they have returned? For the most part, yeah. Enthusiastic greeting is in my Filipino DNA, lol.

What are two foods you think taste good with whipped cream? Nothing, to be honest. Whipped cream doesn't even taste like anything lol and while I don't have anything bad to say about it, it's also not really value-adding taste-wise.

How long would it take you to walk to the nearest fire hydrant?  I'm not sure tbh...5 minutes? 10 minutes? I should pay attention to where we have fire hydrants around here haha.

Do you own anything that has the words or picture of ‘moustache’?  Nah, definitely not since the early 2010s.

When you see a feather on the ground, do you ever pick it up?  Nope.

Are you able to play the harmonica? Do you ever want to take lessons?  I don't know how to play it expertly, though it also doesn't sound like something for which I'd be interested in taking lessons.

If you eat it, what is your favorite way to eat beef?  Rare steak and in burgers. That's about it. I'm not a big beef fan.

How would you feel marrying the man you love who has already a son? Continued from who know when? If I'm marrying them I would assume I would have also already accepted becoming a mom.

Have you ever played Roller Coaster Tycoon? What did you think of it?  I've heard of it many times before but don't think I ever played it. I played tons of many other knockoff rollercoaster games though.

What foods go good with radishes?  I usually have pickled radish on the side when I have jjajangmyeon.

When you are chopping onions, does it really affect your eyes personally?  I don't cook, but when my parents cook and use onions it does sting a lot, to the point that it would be unbearable to be downstairs for a few moments.

How long can you hold your breath for? Is there anyone who is better?  I don't know but generally my track record isn't great. I could do close to a minute to a little over, and I know others could do much better.

When was the last time you had a pet goldfish? What was its name?  I wouldn't remember specifics but I'm sure I would've still been in the single-digit ages.

Would you rather have a loaf of bread or meat loaf right now?  Bread. Meatloaf looks so nasty.

Are you insecure about your height? What made you think this way?  Nah, I've learned to embrace being smaller than average haha. Filipinos are also short anyway so even though I'm only barely 5'2", I don't stand out.

Do you enjoy mayonnaise with French fries? Why or why not?  It's the only way I eat my fries, if not on their own.

What are the oldest pair of pants you still wear? How old are they? I have a pair of high-waist denim jeans that I've had since like college.

Did your last significant other have a huge temper? They did if you called them out because apparently they're incapable of making any mistakes and shouldn't be criticized ever.

What was the topic discussed in the last meeting you attended? An upcoming event we're supposed to be planning for.

What is your opinion on Indonesia? Would you ever travel there? How about Syria? Would you ever travel there? Why or why not? I love lndonesian cuisine, and yes I've already been there – I was around 14 and our family took a week-long trip to Bali. I don't have much of an opinion on Syria but don't really plan on heading there.

What are the three events this year you are looking forward to?  My birthday, seeing Seventeen next week, and getting Jin and Hobi back from the military.

[haleigh-sloth]

I hope this isn't a strange question but when you travel, do you ever go solo? I was just curious cause there are a lot of states and parks I want to go to but most of my friends/family aren't interested in going. I have thought about going alone a lot but when I think about the potential dangers I do get spooked. I have read about women who travel solo and it seems like a lot of people do it successfully. I was just curious if you have, how was your experience? Thanks

🤩🤩

So far, my road trips have always been with a buddy, but we drive separately and we occasionally would split off to go do our own things.

So I can’t say I’ve gone completely alone yet, however this summer I will be doing that. Heading up to Montana from Colorado and then the PNW (where I’ll meet a friend in Oregon), through Northern Cali, down to Texas to visit friends and family, and then back home to Colorado. Pretty much all of that except for Oregon and Washington will be me by myself, with my dogs lol.

Idk the statistics of assaults and crimes in national/state parks so I can’t say anything really, but if you’re visiting parks that are very popular during their on seasons (many of them will be in the summer) you’ll be surrounded by other families, kids, parents etc, so generally it’s safer just because of the amount of people around you. At least, that’s how I feel at the ones I’ve been to. I haven’t flown by myself before and I don’t ever plan to because I hate flying and if I’m going to fly, I need someone with me.

For traveling solo, I personally prefer road trips because I’m in control of my schedule, I can have my dogs, and there’s nothing I love more than watching the scenery change as you drive through the country, and your options for taking quick naps are broad.

Any tips I can give like….If I need to sleep, safe places are truck stops because guess what! Lots of people are already sleeping there! That’s what it’s for. Maybe it makes it a target? But keep your doors locked, sleep next to someone else who is also sleeping (there literally is always someone else sleeping at a truck stop). My dogs bork when anybody gets near me so…I have a natural security alarm, two of them lol.

I also plan to visit as many National parks as I can (that’s what my summer road trip will be for hence Montana 🤩) and I know that most of those trips will be alone so I’ll have more “traveling alone” experience after this summer.

[willows-pjo-ocs]

I figured i should make an intro post for my ocs

Also btw if your not tagged in an open starter you can still do it idc just lmk if you want me to @ you ill make a list

And ill just edit this post when i have more stuff or change anything

Edit: im gonna unpin this and link it to a diff master post

Anyways

Kiara Belvedere

Age: 15

Gender: female

Pronouns: she/her

Sexuality: bisexual

Godly parent: Selene

Powers: healing (only at night), photokinesis (limited to moonlight and not that much, kinda like a glowstick when she's embarrassed), increased strength at night time particularly when the moon isn't obscured by the clouds (which does not change when the moon is new since its still the moon), she can transfer the pain you feel to herself, limited hydrokinesis since the moon controls the tides, and she sees better in the dark. Limited umbrakinesis plus she can shadow travel. Not really a power, but she is good at chariot driving since her mom is Selene.

(Slight tw/cw for transphobia)

General information: Kiara is a 15 year old transgender demigod daughter of Selene. She arrived at camp a bit before the Battle of the Labyrinth (the battle itself, not the book, but both are technically true), so she did end up fighting in the Battle of the Labyrinth, the Battle of Manhattan, and the Battle of Half-Blood Hill (plus if there was another one in toa i havent read it yet so dont spoil me.)

I would say she was about 12 or 13 when she arrived at camp so she's been there for a bit

She wasn't claimed until 2 or 3 years after she arrived since her mom didn't have a cabin yet

She is currently dating Aurelia Emerson, another oc of mine.

No father issues here since her dad is pretty awesome, but she does have mother issues, which comes with your godly parent being your mother.

She has a good deal of trauma from these battles, as do the other demigods who fought in said battles.

Kids used to tease her all the time and do stuff like pulling on her hair at school but she ended up finding her people

At some point (sometimes i rp before, during, or after this) she ended up going on a quest. I haven't planned out much of this quest or who she gets captured by, but she ends up getting captured by these monster or something who want a son of Selene even though she very much isn't a son, but a daughter. They only ever referred to her as a boy and made her wear raggedy ass "boy" clothes (even though i believe that clothes dont have gender idk how else to phrase it)

She ends up back at camp somehow, havent planned that part out yet, but yet another trauma she has to deal with (yay i guess..?)

Also, I apologize if I accidentally portray her a bit wrong since I'm not trans but feel free to critique me if I do something wrong bc I really want to know so I can do better/be more educated

Face claim:

Aurelia Emerson

Age: 15

Gender: female

Pronouns: she/her

Sexuality: lesbian

Godly parent: Eos

Powers: photokinesis (limited), hydrokinesis (only the morning dew), increased strength at dawn.

General information: Aurelia is a 15 year old demigod daughter of Eos. She is from small town Mississippi and she came to camp closer to when she was 14, so pretty recently. She is currently dating Kiara Belvedere, as said above. She arrived at camp after an emposai attacked her. (Probably a satyr who brought her, but idk.)

She arrived at camp post the events of the Heroes of Olympus books and thus didn't fight in those same battles that Kiara did. (Once again, if there was one in toa I didn't read it yet.)

She dealt with/deals with a lot of internalized homophobia and stuff like that since she grew up in small town Mississippi.

But she never really extended it towards others. It always confused her why people would be upset about who someone loves or what their gender identity was or anything like that

But as soon as it was her who happened to be a kiss-girl (im so sorry i cannot take myself seriously), she hated herself for it. It was fine when anyone else was like that, but not her.

She ends up being able to accept herself more slowly after she and Kiara don't start dating quite yet, but are kinda talking? Do you call it that if you've been best friends for a while and already acting pretty gay around her? Idk. Seriously, Marilene (head counselor for the Selene cabin) was waiting for the longest time for them to just kiss.

They do end up dating dw

This really reminds me of Once More to See You by Mitski because Kiara really just wanted to tell everyone and everything about how much she loved Aurelia, but Aurelia was still closeted at this point. (Sorry if im making it sound like it was a bad thing that she was closeted. it's not and, good on her for taking her time and doing it when she was comfortable)

Face claim:

Imagine her but just a bit tanner

Marilene Smith

Age: 19

Gender: female

Pronouns: she/they

Sexuality: idk but saphic

Godly parent: Selene

Powers: she can 'see' anything that the moon is in line of sight of (one part of the earth in the day the other part at night since thats how day and night work) (nothing underground plus trees and stuff) to a degree. It takes a good bit of energy and focus and stuff since she's not a goddess. Limited photokinesis and umbrakinesis though she is better at photokinesis. She can shadow travel. Like Kiara, she can heal. But only at night. She was the one who taught Kiara. She also gains strength from the moon. It does not change when the moon is new, since the moon is still out.

General information: Marilene has also been at camp for a pretty long time. She is one of the oldest campers there. She arrived at camp when she was maybe 15 and stays there full time. Being the head counselor of the Selene cabin, she cares about her sibling more than anything. When Kiara didn't return from her quest, she spent every moment she could trying to locate her and asking some of the Helios kids to help her. Even when Kiara was still doing the quest as normal she occasionally took a look just to see if she was alive and ok. She did end up having to promise Kiara that she wouldn't be looking too often. She also had to promise Amaia the same thing when she joined the Hunter of Artemis although the protective older sister part of her often made it very difficult not to.

Face claim:

Gender: female

I couldn't find any pictures that had her body type so imagine her as plus sized and you have the right idea

Amaia Hussain

Age: 13

Gender: female

Pronouns: she/her

Sexuality: idk/doesn't matter

Godly parent: Selene

Powers: Since Selene is also a goddess of Lunacy, Amaia has the ability to drive people and occasionally nymphs mad. She gains strength at night, particularly when the moon is not obscured by clouds. This stays the same even when the moon is new. Limited photokinesis and umbrakinesis though she is better at umbrakinesis. She also has zoolingualism since she is a Hunter of Artemis. She is immortal unless she falls in love or dies in battle, also because she is a Hunter.

General information: Amaia arrived at camp when she was 11 years old. When the Hunters visited camp at some point during Kiara's capture, she decided to join them after Marilene asked to see if they would be able to help her find Kiara. At some point with the help of some demigods from camp and some of the Hunters, including Amaia, they were able to find Kiara and bring her back to camp.

Face claim:

Melissa Hanning

Age: 16

Gender: female

Pronouns: she/her

Sexuality: aro/ace

Godly parent: Psyche

Powers: She is more sensitive to peoples emotions than others, she can look into someone's psyche kinda and see how their feeling. Although she cannot see super clear memories, she can get a sense for what thing in someone's past made them that way. She can temporarily alleviate someone's mental pain so to speak. In general, she is very emotionally mature and is the responsible one.

General information: I do not know when she arrived at caml but I do know that she only stays for the summer. Although she is very much a people person, sometimes being the voice of reason or being a therapist to traumatized demigods like the rest of her siblings is exhausting. Sometimes she'll cope with that by letting herself be reckless and not have to worry about things. Other times she'll just lay in her cabin for a while to soak in the quiet, or rather, what little quiet there is at camp. One day after Leo managed to basically undo the reprogramming Glykera had done to her, he went to Melissa to try and see if she would be able to help Glykera despite her being an automaton (see the oc bellow this one). She wasn't able to use her powers as well to help Glykera since she is an automaton, she was able to help her deal with these new emotions and find better coping skills.

Face claim:

Γλυκέρα (Glykera)

Age: ???

Gender: ???

Pronouns: she/her

Sexuality: ??? (Probably aroace)

Godly parent: None (except she was created by Hephaestus cus it was either that or Daedelus

Powers: ???

General information: (tw for mentions of sa and/or implied sa , physical abuse, and basically being jumped im sorry)

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.

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Ok i just did the dots so it would give more space and stuff cus i know i accidentally read ahead all the time and i dont want anyone who doesn't want to to have to read what the tw is for on accident

Anyways, Glykera is an automaton from ancient Greece. Idk which period, probably closer to when they made more of those statues. She was made to resemble the beauty standard for women at that time period.

Since Hephaestus creates a lot of things, she ended up getting lost and ended up in the hands of her old master.

He would have her assist him with things and stuff, the whole schist. He wasn't the nicest man in Greece, but he wasn't the worst. When he first got her, he ended up reprogramming her so that she wouldn't feel or express her emotions as much. Then he reprogrammed her so that she couldn't really object to her order. Those reprogrammings did take a couple of tries however.

He also slammed a hammer or some thing else heavy onto her hand, to see if it would hurt. It did, but since her metal is pretty sturdy, she didn't get dented.

Her old master would have guests over all the time and she would serve them drinks or just stand there looking pretty while she waited for orders.

These drunken guests would occasionally get a bit too comfortable with her, and since she couldn't really do anything, they just continued. You know how those bronze statues of women sometimes have lighter spots on their breasts because people decide to just touch them? Kinda like that but her metal didn't get much lighter. She physically could not say no or move or express her discomfort because of the reprogrammings.

One time, for whatever reason, one of the guests ended up jumping her, almost beating her to robot-death or at least almost leaving her with pretty bad damage.

As a result, she hates being touched. She hates it when people talk about giving her or other automatons upgrades or reprogramming. She hates being called an it as well.

After days when her old master had guests over, he would erase her memory of what had happened if he knew one of the guests had assaulted her, but he wasn't always successful. He often tried to get them to just leave her alone, but he wasn't the most firm about it and they continued.

At some point she was basically powered off and didn't wake up for a few thousand years.

After Leo Valdez found her and did general repairs, he managed to undo the reprogrammings that stopped her from feeling her emotions as strong, expressing them, and he undid the one(s) that prevented her from protesting against orders and stuff like that.

He also accidentally brought back the memories that had been erased from her.

So for the next few days, the overwhelm of memories and suddenly much louder feelings left her in a pretty bad state for somr days. She would jump at every sound, curse herself for being unable to serve and just being in a heap, and sometimes she would have pretty bad panic attacks.

Since he was only really able to help her so much, Leo went to the Psyche cabin and now Melissa is her unofficial therapist.

She has since gotten better, but she is still pretty sensitive to sound, touch, and people being upset in general. She always tried to appease them, make them feel better, just to avoid potential consequences. Only a few people are allowed to touch her, and even then she's still not too big on it. She stays in Bunker 9 whenever they have fireworks displays, trying to avoid the noise, which is pretty effective.

Nowadays she spends most of her time in Bunker 9 although occasionally she will stroll around camp.

She also pretty tall. Either like 6'5 or closer to 7 feet tall

She's not as good as the Kourai Khyseai (Golden Maidens), who were also created by Hephaestus, and her facial expressions are limited and kinda uncanny

Also, I do not ship her with Leo or anyone else.

Face claim: ???/heres a picture of a greek or greek style statue i took at the Boston Museum of Fine Arts just imagine it was bronze

Oh my gods this was long

I even had to switch to the website just to finish adding all the pictures

Thanks if you read all this

Also all the divider things i used came from @firefly-graphics you should go check them out bc they were really a lifesaver when it came to making this

Seriously half the ones i tried to use from google looked like they were transparent but weren't so yeah

They ask that you just reblog the post you get the things from if you use it so im just gonna check that i did

[dufferpuffer]

Part 1: I gotta defend my boy Albus Dumbledore.

Manipulative, sometimes vicious, sometimes cruel - Adrian Dingleberry is a paranoid, anxious, traumatized control freak. He drowns himself within sorrows and mistakes in private. He is submerged, and his 'pheonix' - his most trusted, beloved companions - are the ones he enjoys seeing re-birthing in flames. He likes to lift them into second chances while he sinks into his cup.

He isn't omniscient. He can't tell the future - He has to gamble. He has to count the cards of this poker game we call life and make the best choices he can, because he is expected to. And doing that for so long has ruined him. Maybe he should have taken divination after all... …I'm rambling. Andrew Doppleganger makes me emotional. ---

This is a really well written up timeline of events. There are things I disagree with, but in general, OP, this is amazing. I love how you figure the charm would have only included James and Lily Potter. Harry was unborn, likely unnamed - possibly unable to have a charm cast on him. And, I reckon, why would he NEED to have the charm cast on him if very few people even knew he existed, anyway...? If Lily and James kept their pregnancy private? I think that works out quite nicely. But I have complaints. I'm a complainer. B^) --- 'It being 'illegal' for Alibi Dandydonk to tell Hagrid to take Harry, instead of his godfather Sirius.' …Come on now. Maybe by Muggle law. MAYBE. I dunno how godfathering laws may or may not work in 1981 England. But this was a Wizarding WAR.

Death Eaters and Aurors alike are scrambling confused all across the country... give Harry to his godfather? To take where, exactly?? Sirius AND Harry would BOTH be actively hunted-!

Alan Drumstick is the safest temporary option by far. He knew how to cast an old-magic spell so powerful it protected Harry even after his own death. Bringing Harry to him - and to the Dursleys - in the immediate aftermath of his parents' betrayal makes sense. What happened next could be decided when the situation was under control. Until then: hide the child with some of the most powerful, obscure magic - amongst muggles, where every spell is traced.

Even if Abby Dribblebroom were to die that very night Harry would be safe for 16 YEARS… though I'm sure keeping him there that long was not the initial intent when this plan was made.

--- "Dumbledore hears Hagrid met Sirius when retrieving Harry and shows no concern." Yes he did. When Hagrid said Sirius gave him his bike, he asked: “No problems, were there?” Not 'Ah, yes.' or 'Of course.' or 'A good man, that one.' He was concerned about the fact Sirius was involved. He was curious - Hagrid and Harry seem alright, bit they were late despite having a motorbike... did anything happen? Were there any... problems? He can't straight up tell Hagrid (or Minerva) that Sirius is a suspect yet. It's too soon, too uncertain, too vulnerable... too awful. Plus being vague to gather information 'innocently' is very much his style.

--- 'Hagrid can't apparate and didn't arrive via broom or floo.' ...I think, for the Wizarding World, it is unreasonable to assume magical means were not used to get Hagrid to Godrics Hollow. He cannot apparate. He did not arrive by broomstick. I don't really see why he couldn't have floo'd nearby, unless I've forgotten something, but sure. However, during a war, with many important places to shunt people at a moments notice, with magical alarms and wards set up... No portkeys...? No just… sending Hagrid with his own magical skills? No illegal but thoroughly unexpected forms of magical travel...? Like I know 'its a magical world so he probs used magic' is lame. But I feel like the suggestion that Apple Dingusdoom sent Hagrid off at MIDDAY to fetch Harry by entirely muggle means - And Hagrid never once went "…Hang on a secon', why am I goin' to get Harry from his lovin' family...?" is just a bit too ridiculous. Harry surviving was a surprise. Voldemort vanishing was a surprise. Sirius betraying them was a surprise. Everything moved FAST. Hagrid was there before Muggles could gather around the mysteriously exploded house yet. On Halloween night, where even the children would be up late, running around, eating candy, watching movies... Unless Dumbledore was contacting Voldemort 'Ok bbg Hagrids almost there, you can attack~' I don't see how he could have planned for this timing to be so perfect. It HAS to be a knee-jerk reaction to alarms. This is speculation ofc but I think the plan simply went like this: If his 'oh shit, the Potters' alarm goes off: Hagrid, who is loyal and physically resistant to magic, immediately checks on Harry (the prophecy baby) and gets him/his family to Hogwarts (which is safe and has medical staff) in a magically undetectable way. I wouldn't be surprised if he had a similar plan in place for the Longbottoms. Meanwhile: More able Wizards and Witches deal with the complex, likely violent aftermath of whatever the hell happened. Dumbledore directs the Order and prepares for a potential attack. When the school seems secure: Minerva watches over the Dursley's to report on whether they are attacked, defend them... and possibly be the one to do the spell for Harry's blood protection if something happens to Aaron Davenport. Hagrid brings Harry to the Dursleys - avoiding the major clumps of cities. Harry falls asleep flying over Bristol.

It would be unknown if the War was about to heat up, so Harry goes under magical protection with his blood relatives while the others -including Sirius, potentially his parents if either of them survived - fight for the sake of the Wizarding World. However, the war does NOT heat up - and Harry is left without a godfather. It is uncertain whether or not the prophecy is fulfilled. He has to stay safe, so the plan is changed to leave him protected until he is old enough to learn magic and be a good little child soldier. Was this a selfish decision on Angus Doubleburgers part? Yes, I think so - but I'll blab bout that in the second part. B^) I love blabbing. blab blab blab.

Dumbledore is a Manipulative Piece of Shit: Part 1/?

Since I read the books for the first time at the age of 12, I knew I didn't trust Dumbledore. Back then, I couldn't put my finger on why. But now, a bit over a decade later, I can.

Not only can I explain why I thought something's fishy, but I can prove it is.

This is going to be a long series... but let's start at the beginning:

Halloween 1981

I'm going to go about this in chronological order of events according to book quotes I could track down.

Before the Prophecy

Circa October 24, 1979 - Lily gets pregnant with Harry. According to reverse calculating due date.

Sometime between March 1980 and October 1980 Peter Pettigrew starts spying for the Order.

"(Dumbledore) was sure that somebody close to the Potters had been keeping You-Know-Who informed of their movements...Indeed, he had suspected for some time that someone on our side had turned traitor and was passing a lot of information to You-Know-Who."

(Prisoner of Azkaban, page 205)

We know that there was a spy in the Order that fed Voldemort information before James and Lily went into hiding. Sirius mentions Peter being a spy for a long time again later in Prisoner of Azkaban:

“Sirius, Sirius, what could I have done? The Dark Lord . . . you have no idea . . . he has weapons you can’t imagine. . . . I was scared, Sirius, I was never brave like you and Remus and James. I never meant it to happen. . . . He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named forced me —” “DON’T LIE!” bellowed Black. “YOU’D BEEN PASSING INFORMATION TO HIM FOR A YEAR BEFORE LILY AND JAMES DIED! YOU WERE HIS SPY!”

(Prisoner of Azkaban, page 374)

So we know Pettigrew spied for Voldemort for about a year, if not more, before October 1981. The reason I'm saying he might have spied for longer is that the Order noticed there was a spy during that year, there might've been months he spied but the Order was none the wiser.

The months leading up to the attack on the Potter

So, we know when Peter started feeding Voldemort information, but we need to know when exactly the prophecy was given and when James and Lily went into hiding under the Fideliulous Charm. Most fans I see, seem to think they were hiding for only a week, then Peter betrayed them and then they died that same night. I think it went a little different. I think they were hiding for much longer.

So, let's determine this from the Evidence we are given.

The picture of the Order of the Phoenix Moody shows Harry in book 5 is the final picture of the Order togather before the Potters went into hiding. Most fans date this photo to the summer of 1980. I think it has to be earlier than that for two simple reasons:

Lily isn't pregnant and Harry wasn't born

Alice isn't pregnant and Neville wasn't born

“...That’s Frank and Alice Longbottom —” Harry’s stomach, already uncomfortable, clenched as he looked at Alice Longbottom; he knew her round, friendly face very well, even though he had never met her, because she was the image of her son, Neville....

...His mother and father were beaming up at him, sitting on either side of a small, watery-eyed man Harry recognized at once as Wormtail: He was the one who had betrayed their whereabouts to Voldemort and so helped bring about their deaths.

(Order of the Pheonix, page 174)

Remember, Harry and Neville were born at the end of July 1980, and pictures taken during that summer would show the pregnancy or taken after their births. So I think that picture was taken in 1979, although I'm uncertain exactly when. because, as I'll prove later in this post, the Potters went into hiding before Harry was born.

Next up to help us put a date to when they went into hiding is the Fidelious Charm itself, or more correctly, how it works.

The Fidelious Charm hides a piece of information within a person. It hides the phrasing of a secret, not a location.

an immensely complex spell ... involving the magical concealment of a secret inside a living soul. The information is hidden inside the chosen person, or Secret-Keeper, and is henceforth impossible to find -- unless, of course, the Secret-Keeper chooses to divulge it.

(Prisoner of Azkaban, 205)

It can be used to hide a location like we see the Order of the Phoenix do:

Dumbledore's Secret-Keeper for the Order, you know -- nobody can find Headquarters unless he tells them personally where it is

(Order if the Pheonix, 115)

With the phrase that Dumbledore hides being:

The headquarters of the Order of the Phoenix may be found at number twelve, Grimmauld Place, London.

(Order of the Phoenix, page 58)

They use a specific phrasing to hide the Order's headquarters. The moment the Order stops existing, the house will stop being a secret. I'd argue the moment Grimmauld Place stopped being the Headquarters it stopped being a secret because this phrase applied no longer.

This is what we see with the Potter residence. Once James and Lily die, the Charm breaks and muggles make their way to the house:

“No, sir — house was almost destroyed, but I got him out all right before the Muggles started swarmin’ around. He fell asleep as we was flyin’ over Bristol."

(Philosopher's Stone, page 13)

The fact muggles and Hagrid could arrive at the house and see it means the Charm broke.

We also see it in Deathly Hollows when Harry and Hemione visit the Potter's cottage:

He could see it; the Fidelius Charm must have died with James and Lily. 

(Deathly Hallows, page 286)

"So what?" You may ask, "we know this already,"

True, but the reason it's important is because it hints at the phrasing used when the charm was cast. It means the phrasing of the secret Peter kept being along the lines of:

"James and Lily Potter are hiding in the Potter Cottage in Godric's Hollow"

Now, this makes sense to be the secret, right, but notice, Harry isn't mentioned. If Harry was part of the secret, the charm would not have broken with James and Lily's deaths, since the secret would still protect Harry. Now, why not protect Harry as well? The whole point of the Fidelious Charm was to protect Harry, was it not?

This means the Potters went into hiding and the charm was cast before Harry was born.

More that suggests they were hiding for quite a while is Lily's letter to Sirius:

Dear Padfoot, Thank you, thank you, for Harry’s birthday present! It was his favorite by far. One year old and already zooming along on a toy broomstick

(Deathly Hollows, page 158)

Meaning Harry's first birthday (July, 1981) happened when they were already under the protection of the charm. As this letter was sent a short time after it (early August 1981).

James is getting a bit frustrated shut up here, he tries not to show it but I can tell

(Deathly Hollows, page 158)

Also from Lily's letter to Sirius. James' restlessness definitely suggests they were hiding under the charm for a good few months before Harry's first birthday.

This dates the Prophecy and Trawlany's job interview around the first half of 1980 (January to May). This means the Potters were in hiding between a year and 4 months to a year and 9 months before their deaths.

All of this leaves us with two main oddities. Questions that just got me scratching my head:

If Peter was a spy since March 1980 at the earliest and October 1980 at the latest (but probably earlier), and the Potters went into hiding with him as the secret keeper in Earley in July 1980 at the latest, why not tell Voldemort immediately? And if he did, why did Voldemort wait a full year+ to go and kill the Potters?

It means that when Severus Snape came begging for Dumbledore to save Lily about a week before their deaths, Dumbledore already had the Potters in hiding. It means Dumbledore made Snape take an oath for him to do something he already did. So we see Dumbledore's first manipulations coming into play by fucking Severus over and taking him as a spy without actually giving anything in turn.

The first question is one I have somewhat of an answer for in my Voldemort character analysis, but this isn't this post. This is about Dumbledore's crimes.

The Night Everything Happened

Now we arrive at the night that changed the Wizarding World and the life of one Harry Potter. October 31st, 1981.

I time Voldemort’s arrival at Godric's Hollow at the late evening (around 8 PM). This is due to children being allowed outside still:

The night wet and windy, two children dressed as pumpkins waddling across the square, and the shop window covered in paper spiders, all the tawdry Muggle trapping of a world in which they did not believe

(Deathly Hollows, page 295)

And Harry (a year and four months old infent) still being awake, but clearly preparing for bed:

the tall black haired man in his glasses, making puffs of colored smoke erupt from his wand for the amusement of the small black-haired boy in his blue pajamas

(Deathly Hollows, page 295)

So, Voldemort arrives at Godric's Hollow around 8:00 PM, let's say, 15 to 20 minutes later, James and Lily are dead, Voldemort’s body is destroyed and he runs off to Albania. Baby Harry is crying and the Fidelious is broken.

Now, things get interesting. Well, more interesting.

We know the first on the scene is Peter Pettigrew, arriving around 8:30 PM, and retrieving Voldemort’s wand. We don't actually know when or if this happened beyond a quote from JKR, but as muggles and aurors searched the house, it's unlikely Voldemort’s wand was there and undiscovered.

Then Pettigrew ran away to the muggle street where he would meet Sirius.

The second on the scene is Reberus Hagrid.

Hagrid arrives sometime later when muggled started looking into what happened now that the Fidelious Charm is broken:

“No, sir — house was almost destroyed, but I got him out all right before the Muggles started swarmin’ around. He fell asleep as we was flyin’ over Bristol."

(Philosopher's Stone, page 13)

Around the same time Pettigrew arrived at Godric's Hollow, Sirius probably saw Peter wasn't home and realized the Fidelious was broken. So he heads to Godric's Hollow.

The night they died, I’d arranged to check on Peter, make sure he was still safe, but when I arrived at his hiding place, he’d gone. Yet there was no sign of a struggle. It didn’t feel right. I was scared. I set out for your parents’ house straight away. And when I saw their house, destroyed, and their bodies . . . I realized what Peter must’ve done . . . what I’d done. . . .

(Prisoner of Azkaban, page 365)

Sirius reaches the Potters and meets Hagrid there, outside the house, Harry already in Hagrid's arms:

“I met him!” growled Hagrid. “I musta bin the last ter see him before he killed all them people! It was me what rescued Harry from Lily an’ James’s house after they was killed! Jus’ got him outta the ruins, poor little thing, with a great slash across his forehead, an’ his parents dead . . . an’ Sirius Black turns up, on that flyin’ motorbike he used ter ride. Never occurred ter me what he was doin’ there. I didn’ know he’d bin Lily an’ James’s Secret-Keeper. Thought he’d jus’ heard the news o’ You-Know-Who’s attack an’ come ter see what he could do. White an’ shakin’, he was. An’ yeh know what I did? I COMFORTED THE MURDERIN’ TRAITOR!” Hagrid roared.

(Prisoner of Azkaban, page 206)

Sirius then goes after Pettigrew, after failing to take Harry from Hagrid and figuring he'd rather chase the rat down before he disappears. We all know how that ends, as Hagrid takes Harry according to Dumbledore's orders.

‘Give Harry ter me, Hagrid, I’m his godfather, I’ll look after him —’ Ha! But I’d had me orders from Dumbledore, an’ I told Black no, Dumbledore said Harry was ter go ter his aunt an’ uncle’s. Black argued, but in the end he gave in. Told me ter take his motorbike ter get Harry there. ‘I won’t need it anymore,’ he says. “I shoulda known there was somethin’ fishy goin’ on then. He loved that motorbike, what was he givin’ it ter me for? Why wouldn’ he need it anymore? Fact was, it was too easy ter trace.

(Prisoner of Azkaban, page 206)

This quote has quite a few interesting things about Dumbledore, Hagrid and Sirius.

First, Hagrid says Dumbledore gave him orders to take Harry to the Dursleys. This order was given before Sirius went after Peter, before he was arrested and sent to Azkaban.

This is illegal. At this point in time Sirius was Harry's legal godfather and guardian, and yet Dumbledore gave Hagrid this order. And yes, you could argue it was because he knew Sirius was the Secret Keeper and was wary of him, but:

“Hagrid,” said Dumbledore, sounding relieved. “At last. And where did you get that motorcycle?” “Borrowed it, Professor Dumbledore, sir,” said the giant, climbing carefully off the motorcycle as he spoke. “Young Sirius Black lent it to me. I’ve got him, sir.” “No problems, were there?”

(Philosopher's Stone, page 13)

Dumbledore hears Hagrid met Sirius when retrieving Harry and shows no concern. Like he doesn't consider Sirius a threat to Hagrid and Harry. But then, why take Harry away? Why support Sirius' arrest? (More on that in a later post)

Not only is all this highly illegal but how did Dumbledore know when the Potters died?

JK explained he had some magical alarms in place, but that means at the earliest he would've known the moment Voldemort entered the premises. But he knew before. He knew James and Lily would die that day before they died.

How do I know that?

Simple, Hagrid can't apparate and didn't arrive via broom or floo.

Hogwarts, where Hagrid is during October as Grounds keeper, is in the Scottish Highlands (Higher up as they travel for about 9-10 hours by train from Kings Cross to reach Hogwarts as they leave at eleven and arrive for dinner). Godric's Hollow is in West Country, England. This distance is a 9-10 hour drive (672.03 km, 417.58 miles).

It means that for Hagrid to arrive by 9 PM at Godric's Hollow, Dumbledore told him to go fetch Harry, the order was given to Hagrid between 11-12 noon on October 31st.

This already paints Dumbledore in a bad light, it means he planned this. I'd argue he even planned for Voldemort to hear of the Prophecy (but that's a different post). But it means Dumbledore planned for the Potters to be killed that night.

Second, Hagrid is right about Sirius giving his bike being odd (But that's a different post about the Fidelious Charm). But, in short, something was up and Sirius knew, at least somewhat, that he was doomed.

The Boy Who Lived

Finally, we arrive at the first chapter of Philosopher's Stone. We follow Vernon Dursely throughout his day on November 1st. We know that because we see the Wizarding World celebrating the death of Voldemort:

He’d (Mr. Dursley) forgotten all about the people in cloaks until he passed a group of them next to the baker’s. He eyed them angrily as he passed. He didn’t know why, but they made him uneasy. This bunch were whispering excitedly, too, and he couldn’t see a single collecting tin. It was on his way back past them, clutching a large doughnut in a bag, that he caught a few words of what they were saying. “The Potters, that’s right, that’s what I heard —” “ — yes, their son, Harry —” Mr. Dursley stopped dead. Fear flooded him. He looked back at the whisperers as if he wanted to say something to them, but thought better of it.

(Philosopher's Stone, page 6)

So, McGonagall is watching over the Dursleys throughout November 1st. It means Harry arrived at the Dursleys around midnight between November 1st and November 2nd.

Hagrid and Harry left Godric's Hollow on Sirius' flying motorbike around 10 PM at the latest on October 31st. So what was Hagrid doing with Harry in these 26 hours?

The only information we have is that Harry: "fell asleep over Bristol,"

Thing is, if we go back to the map of the UK.

Bristol is not really on the way from Godric's Hollow to Surry.

But it is closer to the flight path between Godric's Hollow and Hogwarts.

(The locations are estimated for fictional locations but are based on what I know. Regardless, West Country to Surry won't pass over Bristol, while West Country to the Scottish Highlands is likely to, so the point stands)

In conclusion, Dumbledore manipulated Harry's life, his parents' deaths, Snape, Sirius, and Hagrid, and fucked them all over for the sake of his grand plan of defeating Voldemort.

What else went into his plan and who else he fucked over, will be covered in the next installments.

[maganne-bonete]

Actually idk if I want to write stuff abt Zia and Laurent or Pacifica tonight. Also, I'm kinda sleepy and tired but getting in the mood to write isn't that common for me. We'll just see I guess ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

But I feel like I need to put this somewhere I won't forget or lose.

With Paz I think I want to write something post-canon abt her working in the dinner. Something that was in reference to my previous post abt her wanting to be self-sufficient. It is canon that she ends up working at Greasy's as a waitress. I guess I want to get into her psyche or mind about this whole thing. There is a lot to think abt when writing in her pov, especially post canon and going into the mind of a girl her age.

But I am also thinking about to what extent should I also put how toxic her mom is, being a pagent mom and everything. I don't think the fanbase really writes about Priscilla being a pagent mom too often. It's typically that she just gets lumped in with Preston as bad parents and that it.

I think Paz only realized that she's a bad parent around early adulthood. When she was in her teen years, it was easier for her to identify her dad as abusive but it didn't register to her that her mom was hurting her too.

I headcanon that the dynamic with Preston and Priscilla are not really complicated but just different. Like Priscilla's a white neoliberal pagent mom who's living through her daughter's accomplishments as a beauty queen, model, and celebrity. She and her friends wouldn't see the red flags immediately until they learn about it. Meanwhile Preston's a white-washed conservative old money who's abuse tends to be more obvious for Paz and her friends. How did these too ended up together? Idk, somehow. They're both toxic in their own ways.

Oh yeah, I also headcanon Pacifica as latina descent. Yeah, yeah, I know she's supposed to be some white girl archetype but I really like latina Paz.

Do I want shipping involved in this? Actually no. I really want this to be Pacifica-centric and besides she'd be like 13 or something. I'll probably time skip a couple of times idk.

For Laurent and Ziais meanwhile I feel like opening up another wip that's really just idk one of those tv cliches that's there for the fanservice and comedy. All my other works around them are more serious anyway.

I just think it'll be funny to have Andreas who's a tribute in the demon war time travel with the other tributes to a period where his parents weren't together or married yet. (They're still just best friends. Like yeah, his dad was already in-love with his mom but he hasn't said anything abt that yet nor did he thought that it's even possible given their circumstances) Andreas didn't even ended up in the same Dava or place as the rest of the tributes in the party. They got separated and opened the wrong doorway from the spirit world.

Ben ended up in the same camp Laurent and his father were stationed in. He was being answered to by Laurent's father, Romaeus, who was more than willing to help the poor man who was confuse but the other soldiers had to interrupt with rumors abt his son having a woman in his tent. Ben, couldn't even interrupt what was happening since he was kept out of the tent where Laurent was being berated. He only ended up seeing Zia getting tossed out of the tent with Laurent trying to shield her before his father told them to "leave and send the noble woman back to her family", not recognizing who the girl was.

(Actually this scene is actually pretty sad in the actual canon :( I just enjoy the drama and Ben probably telling off Romaeus later for treating his son like that, but hey it was a very complicated time for Andreas' family. Still pretty shitty, but ya know)

Andreas meanwhile accidentally comes across the rebellion state that his godfather was leading against the empire. They weren't really planning anything but rumors abt the noble woman being found in the general's son's tent was something they were concerned about because the features describing her were too familiar. It wasn't long for Andreas to realize what time in history they were and immediately wanting to find his parents first before anyone. He's just scared if anything bad ever happens to them in this timeline especially since this place got caught in a cosmic war.

The one who ended up meeting Andreas' teenage parents was Daniela who was trying to help Zia's family into looking for her. Apparently she paid the guards to let her out last night from the house and it's dangerous cause "Those rebels might 'dupe' her to joining again" and Danny would be like "Oh no! Don't worry. I'll help you find your niece." but she ended up not knowing it was them in the market place, where Zia was avoiding home, her relatives, and the rebels as much as possible for her and Laurent's safety. Shenanigans ensues and a skirmish with a demon got Danny and them driven out of the city.

Things don't go according to how Andreas' parents typically get arranged and shenanigans ensues that leads to both families and factions having to get along just to look for them while trying to fight cosmic monsters that started attacking their world. Meanwhile, Zia and Laurent are having an adventure with Danny through the wilderness and they end up befriending a bear-fox even.

Idk, none of these really make sense to anyone except for me but that's okay. Zia and Laurent are very complicated people that have been through a lot.