#(to be safe. i know s1 and 2 have been out for a while but i'm sure there's people on my dash who haven't seen it lmao)

[thisselflovecamebacktome]

How’s the 911 of it all going

It's going well. I've been binging (because I do not know how to watch a show normally rip) for most of yesterday and today and just finished 2x10. First impressions are as follows:

Abby was my favourite and the most relatable (as someone who is also a carer to their mother) character of season 1 and I miss her dearly. Idk if this is unpopular but I am surprised (derogatory) that the Abby/Buck story gone on as long as it has. I think it started well as a 'they were both looking for something that the other encompassed in theory but not necessarily looking for each other in reality' story but I really thought that after a bit it was going to end up with them realising they worked better as friends and then having Abby leave for her adventure.

Athena is the character that has grown most on me. While obviously it was rough for her and I sympathise with that, it took a bit to get over feeling like she was making Michael's coming out about herself while trying to say that it was for the family, even long after the children had accepted it. But that is coming from a spot where myself and a lot of queer people I know had our coming out either delayed or otherwise altered by others making it about themselves so I understand that that is in part a me problem. Her trying to solve all of the cold cases because of that little girl that went missing when she was a child is so interesting and I imagine that will come back later in the series which I'm excited for.

On the note of Athena and Michael, I understand that Bobby is a main character but I do wish they'd put as much, or at least more, focus on Michael's relationship. Like even with the homecoming photos, they got Michael's partner to take the photo so Bobby could be in it rather than someone else so they both could be.

I was surprised Eddie didn't show up until season 2. It's also lowkey hilarious that he acted like he had an 'affair' with his wife. Like I get that they were estranged but yeah it was just funny. Overall I think he's my favourite male character and I love the family dynamic between him, his aunt, his grandmother and Christopher.

It was also hilarious that I thought we were getting a rivals/enemies to lovers story for all of about 2 seconds with Buck/Eddie before Buck was p much like "actually no I am in love with this man" (Maddie saying "does this mancrush mean that you're over Abby?" took me out because older sisters always know lmao).

I want to wrap Maddie up in a bubble and never let anyone touch her again. Like I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable but as someone who came from a background of domestic violence and has had to escape another (friendship) situation of abuse, god she is so relatable and I just love her. Like I would go to war for any of these characters but especially her.

As a whole, I was wary about starting this show knowing that it was a Ryan Murphy and Brad Falchuk project because the last thing I watched of theirs was Glee and well... let's just leave it with we all know how off the rails that went. But so far this feels fairly stable. I was surprised to find as a whole it wasn't one fire/crime/emergency of the week but typically 3. I think this has its pros and cons and admittedly I do think it works best when they all intertwine like the earthquake episode did, but it's something different and I applaud them for that. I also feel like everything has good setup, even the 'little' things. Like sure at face value May saying "Everyone at school will know" when Michael comes out can be seen as her making it about herself and being worried about the unrealised potential of bullying but when you find out that it's just another thing she can be bullied over and that the bullying already was that bad, it makes total sense that that's where mind went.

Anyway this has become super long but the TLDR is that I'm enjoying it and interested in where it could go.

[gyaruhana]

Hey could you write the frontman smut, I need that man it's not even funny, yk the chair/sofa he always sat on in S1, when watching the game? Imagine cockwarming him there while he's praising us...

Frontman/Hwang In-ho - Cockwarming

Synopsis: Cockwarming your husband as he watches the games

A/N: This is a short little piece but I hope it's good anyway.. Ty for the frontman request bc he spoke to me in season 2..

Warnings: Cockwarming,

To many, the frontman was a reserved man who is not to be crossed. He’s been responsible for the death of many people - whether at his own hands or the hands of the guards that work for him. Not a lot is known about him among the people who work for him other than the fact he has a very pretty wife. You.

It was no secret that he would not tolerate any disrespect towards you. Some have had to learn that lesson the hard way. He’d always make a point of making sure no harm comes to you by warning people of the dire consequences that come with endangering you. It was all out of love for you, of course. He only wanted to keep you safe from the dangers of his deadly work. That’s why he was always nearby. Like right now.

The first game was about to begin and he was relaxed in his chair in the dark room as he watched the screen. You were on his lap making sure to keep still so as not to bother him. Otherwise, he’d likely deliver some sort of punishment. His cock was buried deep inside of you but he paid little attention to how your hole was squeezing his cock. He was too focused on making sure the first game goes according to plan. Everything needed to be in order so the VIP’s could have something entertaining to watch and keep paying for more.

“You’re being so good for me - keeping so still like this,” he spoke as he moved a hand to your hair and began to gently brush his fingers through in a soothing motion. He knew how hard it was for you to stay still when all you wanted was for him to start fucking into your tight hole. However, good things only come to those who wait so he wasn’t going to give you what you wanted just yet. 

His eyes stayed on the screen as he watched people start to drop dead like flies. It never got old to watch the panic on people’s faces when they realised their lives were at stake. He reached over to the table beside him and grabbed his glass that contained whiskey before gently spinning the glass around for a moment. He then took a sip out of the glass before turning his attention to you.

Teasingly, he thrusted up gently to force a reaction out of you. “You really need it, huh? You’re squeezing me so tightly,” he said with a small smirk. He put the glass back down before putting both his hands on your hips. “Just be a good girl and wait a little longer. I know you won’t disappoint me,” he spoke again as he firmly held your hips down to keep you completely still.

He looked back towards the screen and continued to watch the death game. He could hear your shaky breaths in his ear as you became impatient. He found it amusing to see his dear wife be so desperate for his cock to fuck into her with reckless abandon. Well, he’d give you what you wanted soon. As long as you just sat still on his cock like the good wife you are.

“Such a good wife for me, hm?

[alessiathepirate]

Squid Game

CUDDLES AND AFFECTION (headcanons): Seong Gi-hun x reader

Summary: S1 Gi-hun and S2 Gi-hun are very different - their affection and the cuddles just aren't the same...

Notes: English isn't my first language. I apologize for any mistakes I may have made while I wrote this short story.

This is my first time writing headcanons and my first time using 'you'. I'm sorry if it feels weird, but this is my first attempt writing this format. (I can't really explain it, but using 'you' instead of 'she' for example just sounds off in my first language, so I've never really attempted to use it in English.)

Warnings: angsty but cute (I'm sorry, but season 2 broke me so I'm here to break y'all too)

●●●

♡ S1 Gi-hun is the little spoon; or regardless of the cuddling position, he just likes to be held -- I feel like he needs some kind of emotional security, and the feeling of being held gives him just that.

♡ He has enough issues with the loan sharks, he has enough fear to burry him for a lifetime; so being cuddled in bed or on the couch -- or literally anywhere -- gives him emotional safety. And he craves that, along with the need to be loved and wanted.

♡ Let's be honest here: being in a relationship with someone who has a gambling addiction can be hard: and even if Gi-hun tries to change and avoid gambling for good, there are times when he fails. But being held at night gives him the courage to continue and try again. The fact that you still hug him and hold him - even though previously that day you looked at him disapprovingly - means that you aren't angry and that you're there for him through thick and thin.

♡ S1 Gi-hun is the kind of guy who loves to rest his head on your chest and listen to your heartbeat - and during these moments he thinks how lucky he is to have you; and how impossible it feels that he found someone who actually loves him, even though he feels like he doesn't deserve you.

♡ -- and if during these moments, when his head is on your chest, you decide to play with his hair, you can bet that this man will be out like a light and have the best damn sleep of his life.

♡ S1 Gi-hun is still full of light, laughter and hope. And he isn't afraid of showing his happiness to the world - and with happiness he means you. He likes to hold your hand in public and kiss your cheek here and there. He's also a yapper - he just won't shut up. Not like it bothers you: when you two are in bed he'll tell you stories and jokes; and he feels his heart flutter when he can make you laugh.

♡ Being late is also an everyday occurence with him - so there are times when you'll sit on a bench in the subway, both of you cursing the time, while he rests his head on your shoulder. (You might get his cap too - who knows...)

♡ To S1 Gi-hun you are a getaway from life. Your presence alone makes everything feel easier, solveable and less horrible. He still makes sure you won't ever meet the loan sharks who are after him - he doesn't want them to use you against him.

♡ When you two join the games - and after it's been made obvious that whoever loses, dies - you'll be attached by the hips. He'll hold your hand, kiss your forehead and do his absolute best to look out for you. He'd offer you his own food and water too - he wants you to be strong. Yet you'd decline. You need him strong too.

♡ At night you share the same bed and he hugs you close - no exceptions. He rests his head in the crook of your neck as he gently massages your scalp, so you'd fall asleep easily. He whispers how everything would turn out great in the end - and he still believes that they would.

♡ The moment the possibility of a raid comes up, Gi-hun won't let you out of his sight. He makes the team, including you, build a barricade, and he always wants to be the one to keep watch. It's impossible though - but he doesn't seem to care, all he wants is for you to sleep safely. Yet his plan fails - you never sleep when he keeps watch: you always sit next to him, with your head resting on his shoulder as you two try to reassure each other.

♡ There are times - like after the marble game - when he just holds you as you both cry. No words are said. He just needs the physical reassurance - like you.

♡ With S1 Gi-hun you can see the emotional, psychical change he goes through -- and it's heartbreaking. Suddenly he talks less, he smiles less - the only thing what stays the same is the snuggling. That's the only aspect of himself he never loses.

♡ Sae-byeok's death is the final nail in the coffin - for the both of you. After that you aren't the same and he isn't the same. After Sang-woo's death, it's even worse: you two win, but at what cost?

♡ The loss is obvious: no more yapping, no more sudden kisses, no more puppy dog eyes.

♡ Staying with this 'new' Gi-hun is crucial: he has you, you have him - the only person left worth living for (other than Ga-yeong).

♡ This Gi-hun has a new favourite thing, the only thing what can keep him calm and somewhat happy: you, resting your head on his thighs as he plays with your hair. It became his favourite after a drunken night spent at the river - during which you fell asleep. That was when he promised himself that he'd make you happy again and he'd do anything to protect you from life - which was much darker than he had initially thought.

◇ S2 Gi-hun is the big spoon; he now always has his arms around you, he has you tucked under his arm, close to his chest -- he just wants to protect you from everything.

◇ Nightmares aren't rare at all - in fact, they are pretty common. It doesn't matter who has them though: you or him -- after comforting the other he always stays up afterwards. It's always him, never the other ways around! He just rests his chin on top of your head as he looks around the dark motel room every few minutes.

◇ S2 Gi-hun sleeps with a gun under his pillow, and with a gun on your nightstand.

◇ S2 Gi-hun is no longer a yapper - even if you cuddle, there are no more jokes or fun stories. It's just you and him being quiet while he draws imaginary shapes into your skin.

◇ Every time you two have to leave the motel, he always has a hand on you - hand-holding, an arm around your waist; it doesn't matter. He needs to feel like he's there to keep you safe.

◇ Whenever you two drive around, looking for the Salesman, he has a hand on your thigh. It's him reassuring you that he's there - and if this nightmare ends he won't leave.

◇ If you happen to fall asleep in the car, you can bet he'll put those sneaky locks of hair behind your ears. His fingers would gently caress your face, before letting you nap. He'd still glance at you though and smile at how peaceful you look. This would be the only time S2 Gi-hun smiles - because you are the only person on Earth worth smiling for.

◇ After the Russian roulette? He'll hold you tightly, tighter than before - if it's possible.

◇ S2 Gi-hun doesn't think his own life is valuable. That's why during the games he won't try to save himself - he'll try to save you and all those other players. It leads to a serious conversation full of tears - neither of you should be here, especially without that tracker. You have to explain to him that he matters, he's your everything and he needs to survive and live for you. He promises to try, but his heart isn't fully in that promise...

◇ S2 Gi-hun barely sleeps - he's too scared: a raid might break out and he needs to keep you safe. Jung-bae would be the only one who can speak some sense into him: he tells him you need him too, and alive at that. He sends him to bed, not taking no for an answer, and keeps watch with Young-il. Jung-bae watches how Gi-hun lays down next to you and holds you close with a small smile.

◇ S2 Gi-hun always sleeps with his back towards danger. You always get the safest side of the bed, there's no chance someone could sneak up behind you.

◇ To S2 Gi-hun you are everything: stability, hope, love, happiness... He can't even think about losing you too.

◇ During the raid against the guards, he always has you behind him; either with Jung-bae or Young-il. Gi-hun needs you safe - there's no way you can go with anyone else. He almost sent you away to go with Young-il and attack the guards from behind (that was the safest option for you in his eyes) -- yet that's when you stand your ground and tell him there ain't no way you'll leave him behind. That's when Gi-hun realizes how much you truly care about him - a thought that never seemed important ever since S1. He just lets you hug him as he tries to surpress the tears. A thing never changed - he still feels like he doesn't deserve you.

◇ And when you have to surrender; when you have to give up the fight; he kisses you and hugs you one last time. He promises nothing bad will happen to you, he promises that you will get out alive...

◇ He just hopes that he isn't lying to you...

[jimothyhalperts]

Okay, so I’m on my second watch of s2 and I think people are really being too harsh on Aziraphale. Here’s the receipts:

1 - He said to Metatron that he didn’t want to go back to heaven, he only accepted the job after Metatron said he could take Crowley with him

2 - When Crowley says “If Gabriel and Belzebu can go off together, then we can [...].We need to get away from them, just be an us. You and me.”, Aziraphale answers “Come with me to heaven. [...] We can make a difference.[...] We can be together, angels, doing good.” He is not rejecting Crowley nor the idea of them being together, he is rejecting the idea of doing nothing to make things better. He’s saying “let’s be an us in heaven, where we can be together and look after this planet that we both love instead of abandoning it”

(Of course that he is seeing heaven through rose-tinted glasses, but this is a whole different rant)

3 - The dialogue in the book shop is very similar to S1 when Crowley say they can go off together and let the Armageddon happen: While Crowley wants to run away and save them both, Aziraphale wants to try saving Earth, the only difference is that now Aziraphale recognizes that he needs Crowley and wants to be with Crowley.

4 - Just before EVERY, Crowley says “You idiot, we could have been us”, Aziraphale turns away from him to cry. In this scene I believe they are both thinking the same thing “He might even want to be with me but only on his terms.” 

5 - The “I FORGIVE YOU” scene, he meant “I forgive you for not wanting to come with me and trying to change my mind, instead breaking my heart even more”

Aziraphale LOVES Earth and will try to do everything to save it and he knows Crowley loves Earth too, they are not Gabriel and Belzebu who never cared for Earth nor humans. He knows Crowley didn’t want to work for Hell anymore and that he is good and he can finally do good without being punished.

Crowley (and the viewers) has a much clearer and realistic vision of how things work, because heaven has already betrayed him. He doesn’t want to go back there because he already knows all of its flaws. 

Crowley is a realist (and a bit of a pessimist), he believes Earth will end because heaven and hell cannot be trusted, so the best solution is to run away while they can.

 Aziraphale is an idealistic, he is going to heaven, he is going to fix the system, Earth will be happy and safe forever, Crowley will realize that and go to heaven after him and they will live happily ever after. 

SO WHEN Metatron said about the second coming Aziraphale REALIZED Crowley was right about heaven, but he still had to try to save Earth instead of taking the easy way out.

SO STOP TALKING SHIT ABOUT THE ANGEL, HE LOVES CROWLEY AND LOVES EARTH AND IS JUST TRYING TO SAVE EVERYONE

[imperiuswrecked]

Castlevania: Nocturne thoughts that keep me awake below the cut

1. I don't know why I've seen people act like Mizrak only just met Richter and Maria in S1, like it's pretty clear from their first interaction they know him and he knows them. Tera, Maria, Mizrak, The Abbot all lived in that town for years, probably their whole lives as far as we know for Maria, The Abbot, Mizrak. While Tera and Richter lived there for years. Which means that Mizrak knew Richter and Maria when they were kids. I bet Maria used to show up just to find someone to play with at the Abby, like the Chruch was a central point of focus for community in those days. Mizrak could have been like a older brother/cousin to her when she was little, and he was younger. He could have been patiently sharpening his sword, while she made a crown of flowers and placed them on his head. He probably would try to teach her Bible verses or encourage her and Tera to attend church, but gave up after a while. Mizrak pulling little Maria out of scrapes, or taking her home when she got into trouble. Then one day she shows up with her cousin and he has double the work of keeping them out of trouble and he's like a 20 something monk knight. So now he has like 2 kids trailing around him, asking him endless questions, making fun of his serious nature, he practices in the courtyard and Richter begins to copy his moves. So he ends up teaching him how to sword fight so he can protect Maria and Tera when Mizrak isnt around. Like why was there even monk knights to begin with in a small town. The Vampires. He and his brotherhood of knights were the towns protectors, the Vampires werenr many but it was enough for people to want there to be knights, to give money to the church to house and feed and cloth them so they could focus on their work. He'll, I bet Mizrak's heart nearly exploded when he first catches the cousins taking down a Vampire in the woods he was hunting. He then sometimes teamed up with them on the occasional hunt. Mizrak has no issues just falling into the group dynamic and he even takes up the role of provider, getting them safe shelter, clean water, and hunting food. Like that is a man who took on the older cousin/brother role to Richter and Maria years ago but no one really noticed because it felt so natural, and Mizrak is a quiet guy who doesn't talk much, or show his emotions, he tries to be an example to them through his morals and character and faith.

2. Just because The Abbot, Emmanuel, is a cowardly bitch in current times doesn't mean anything. Tera literally said how she was shown kindness when she got to the town. As a speaker witch who lost her whole family, her sister, being an outcast and hunted probably, a normal nice guy would have been catnip. They probably had a love affair but the Abbot was younger too, he probably was like "we can't have a child out of wedlock, etc" like it's very The Scarlet Letter vibes: Outcast woman lives on the edge of town with a baby girl, no one knows it's the priest whose the dad, the priest suffers internally for years and tries to repent but whatever they do it's not good enough to make up for the fact that they are a coward. The Abbot's moral failing didn't start now. It started years ago when he chose his priesthood over doing the right thing for his child, and the woman he loved. Maria killing him for being a deadbeat dad is all the excuse she needs, even without Emmanuel giving up Tera to Erzsebet. It's why Tera tried to appeal to him even till the end, because she spent years still in love with the young man who was kind to her once, a long time ago, and she thought she could still reach him, not knowing his moral decay and fervent belief that he was doing God's Will had crushed that once kind man.

3. The same theme runs true for Drolta. A priestess corrupted over time, until the end goal she was working towards for so long is so far removed from where she started, but she is so deep into her centuries long belief that what she is doing is right, and it's what her Goddess wills, that no matter what path she takes, what means she uses to reach her end, it's all worth it because she is her Goddess's most faithful servent. The confusion at the end when she's confronted by Sekhmet and reality comes to rip down her entire being blindsides Drolta. It's very tragic because Drolta did start out as a healer too, she wanted to help her people, to serve her Goddess, but life is not kind, and she chooses her dark path every step of the way, leaving more and more of that once good woman behind. The road to hell is paved with good intentions is something both Drolta and The Abbot shared once. Was Drolta aware at some point she had lost her path? Did she care? Did she grieve her former self? Or did she ignore and rip out all those soft emotions because she had spent centuries trying to bring her Goddess back and to admit it was all for nothing meant her corruption was for nothing? Like it got to the point she genuinely believed that she was the only person worthy of becoming Sekhmet, but only after she was sure she would not die like all the others who tried, only after Erzsebet's use was over, and Drolta was a powerful NightCreature did she dare to take that power. Cowardly in a way that she didn't want to give up her immortal vampire life to try and be Sekhmet's vessel.

4. Olrox's time in S2 really felt like the writers didn't want to let him go, but they didn't know what to do with him, especially compared to how much his character was a force that pushes Tera, Richter, Annette, and Maria to confront the Abbot and his main character arc (other than not romancing but really romancing Mkzrak) since stepping off the ship in France has been to see what the fuck is really going on. He's too old to fall in line and worship the latest power hungry Vampire lord/lady wannabe but he needs to see what sorta threat is he up against. The instant he's off the ship, he tells them he'll be along, and goes off on recon. He knows Mizrak's name the next day and abiut the Night Creatures, which mean he probably spent that first night toying on the Abbot and the Monk Knights. He was intrigued by Mizrak and thinks to use him as his source for more information but didn't expect to fall in love with him, but does as time goes by. However you do see he still has his own thing going on, he lurks around the dungeons, he finds Edouard, he finds the book, the machine, he is playing a dangerous game with Dolta and Erzsabet. His character arc is tied to The Machine which was not destroyed in S1, and the main characters even forgot about in S2 because they are young or prehaps they think without The Abbot it can't be used, but Olrox is a very focused Vampore and he doesn't forget, he destroyed the book, but The Machine is still there and he has no means of destroying it or sending it back to Hell. Olrox being a shadow that dances around the main plot and trying to get people to focus on the real issue in S1 vs how little he does in S2 is a glaring difference, but if there is a S3, Olrox and The Machine needs be addressed otherwise it's a waste of perfectly good character and plot build up. I do hope we also see more of Olrox's history in S3 because he is such a great character. Even if we just get him talking more about his past, I'll be happy. I seriously think with how long he's lived, what a morally grey character he is, that creators could do an entire spin off show based on his past. And can we PLEASE get a name for his past lost love?

5. Erzsabet is like the perfect main villainess for the show, she is everything the revolution is fighting against. She's a noble born lady who used her power to prey on theninnocrnt while she was a human and then later continues to do so as a powerful vampire. The fact that most of the Vampires are, the Aristocracy who are the "blood sucking leeches in charge" males so much sense in terms of the setting of the show. They are draining the kices out of the oppressed working/peasant class. Erzsebet is not smart or cunning like Drolta. In fact she is quite lazy as a character, expecting everything to be done for her because she was born and raised in that life of privilege, she expects and craves worship and adoration as her due, and believes Drolta every step of the way because Drolta does know how to manage her. Erzsebet doesn't even try to control the Nughr Creatures instead waits for Drolta to come back to deal with it. This doesn't mean that Drolta groomed or tricked Erzsebet, no, Erzsebet was already this way when Drolta met her, and in fact it's because Erzsebet is a stupid, lazy, power hungry nonle woman with no care for who she hurts to satisfy her own wants, that makes her the perfect tool for Drolta's own goals. Erzsebet never sees Drolta's betrayal coming because she truly believes herself to be worthy of being Sekhmet. It's why she breaks in the final battle because she can't comprehend the fact that she is just another rich woman who doesn't get what she wants, and reality smacks her down and shows her that all that power and strength means nothing. Honestly??? It's really refreshing to have a villain character who doesn't know everything, I think I'm so used to villains always having a plan, always know what the heroes will do next or being smart enough to counteract them, and especially villainess's have to be twice and smart etc to prove what a threat they are, but Erzsebet is like "I should have everything I want because I deserve it, but I will let my servants do all the work because what do you mean I have to work to achieve my goals? It's enough that I've proven myself by not dying." Like zero awareness, just a beautiful dumb villainess who thinks 'might makes right". It really is refreshing to have someone like Erzsebet because she is still a major threat.

6. Annette really carried all of S2 and it's perfect, it's beautiful, her getting a lot more spotlight felt only natural and I loved seeing her journey, I'd do wish they hadn't kept her and Edouard away all seasons that's like my main issue because they were friends and we didn't get to see that again until the end and the same holds true for Edouard in that zi feel they didn't know what to do with him this season like Olrox, they couldn't let Edouard fade into the background because he is important to Annette, but they could have had Edouard turn the Night Creatures against Erzsebet and Drolta imo. Still Annette's arc was the strongest of all the characters and very well done. I'm only sad because I wish we had more episodes to explore her journey.

7. I really hope we get to see more of Tera in S3, I do think she wasn't utilized well in S2 when we had the promise of he becoming Erzsebet's faithful servant at the end of S1 which would have set it up nicely for some heart breaking moments between Tera and the others. And while I know Richter is the main character, I don't really have any thoughts for him because he's not a character type I particularly enjoy or find interesting wnough. He's ok to me.

8. I hope Alucard and Juste get to stick around and raise Maria, even if there's a time skip and S3 has Maria an adult, it's fun to think about. Her arc was really good in S2 as well!

[piratecaptainscaptainpirates]

I've been thinking about how Ed starts directly killing people in s2e8. I've seen a lot of worry that this is tragic, that it's Ed falling back into a life he hates with more vigor, and I don't think it's meant to be understood that way at all.

I think it's a triumph.

One thing we absolutely have to understand: there has never been a time on the show when Ed wasn't killing people. That's true for all characters; this is a show about pirates. Even in s1, Ed was leading successful raids and ordering racists skinned. In a realistic sense, nothing has changed.

The difference is in how Ed does not need to construct intricate ways to distance himself from it anymore.

We know that Ed's first time killing was his abusive dad, an event that deeply traumatized him, and it left him thinking himself an absolute monster. His own capacity for violence disgusts and terrifies him, and even though he's been very successful in a very violent career, he needed to distance himself from killing people ("the fire killed those guys, not me") to avoid confronting this part of himself. He believes that the part of himself that is so capable of violence is irredeemable, a monster, unworthy of love.

Even at the start of the season, when Ed is in a self-destructive spiral, it's debateable if he's directly killing anyone. If Lucius had died, he'd probably have said the sea did it, not him. The guy we see him shoot during the raid sequence already had a knife through his chest - it's a step up, and surely meant to be understood as self-harm more than anything else, but that's still a mercy kill, if anything.

Compare to the finale of season 2. These are direct kills, there is no way to argue that Ed is not responsible. It is not debateable that Ed killed all those British officers.

A lot of the worry I've seen around this concern how Ed is going back to what he's good at (as Pop-Pop told him to), and there's an asusmption that that is killing people/violence. But that's not true, is it? Ed's never been good at killing people, his hangups around directly killing are a known character trait. So...what is Ed good at?

Think about how the scene plays out. Ed sees the Republic burning; he can only assume Stede is either captured, wounded, or dead. He's horrified and dazed, his ears ring - he kills the two British soldiers who happen upon him, he decided to fish up his Blackbeard outfit.

What is Ed actually good at? He's a good pirate, a good captain. He's good at keeping his crew safe, he's good at keeping Stede safe. He has to think he's either going to be embarking on a mission to get revenge or to save his boyfriend.

At first, I was very hesitant about the idea of Ed having to go back to piracy, which he says he hates. But what he was actually trying to do was drown Blackbeard, the part of himself he sees as so unworthy of love. He needed to see that Blackbeard is part of him, that he's not a monster or unloveable, that Blackbeard can help him save his friends and his boyfriend.

It's not a coincidencethat the show goes out of its way to make Ed's killing people in this episode as morally easy to accept as possible. The British officers we see are all racist and mean and unpleasant - like, damn, singing 'we shall never be slaves' while making Black characters serve them? Gross! They got what was coming to them! This is the 'racists deserve to die' show, after all.

And Ed uses this violence as a tool for love, to get him back to his boyfriend, to give them a triumphic reunion. I don't think it's a coincidence that this is when Ed tells Stede he loves him, either - he's come one step closer to accepting he's worthy of love, he's more ready to acknowledge what they have.

Ed doesn't have to feel bad about killing those officers. The show doesn't ask him to. He gets to retire while still wearing his Blackbeard outfit - Blackbeard gets to retire, not be drowned with a canonball in the ocean. And we're left with Ed, still with a lot of growing to do and a lot of self-discovery left, but he's closer to realizing that he's not a monster and that he's so deserving of love.

[multifandumbmeg]

Thinking about how JJ was the only Pogue who ever really saw and respected Kiara, and that's why he was the endgame. John B and Pope aren't bad people, but ultimately they liked her because she was hot and maybe fun to hang out with. Since being rejected by her, both have actually been a lot more respectful of her and stopped treating her like an object. Of course JJ also finds her attractive, anyone with eyes would, but there was a marked difference in how he interacted with her season 1 and 2. Even as it became clear he had true romantic feelings for her, he kept his hands off apart from a few, truly friendly interactions- there was never an ulterior motive or sexual undertone to the way he touched her, as if he had intuited she didn't like that early on and abided (okay apart from that montage scene in episode one where they'e dancing, but note he doesn't actually touch her and it stops on good terms when she pretend slaps him, unlike the awkward icky reaction she gives John B and Pope every time they try something). He even says in season 1 that he "tried that door" and implies she rejected him, and I wonder if maybe he made a slight physical move once and after she reacted poorly, dutifully kept his hands off. That's respect. That's acknowledging her autonomy. Also, though they bicker sometimes when he calls out her rich privilege, he always either takes her side (or intervenes and diffuses in the case of that S1 argument with Pope), defends her, and maintains that she's one of them. Coming from the one with the least out of all of them, that's meaningful, and I think it's because he's the only one that (at least initially) sees her beyond the surface level. John B and especially Pope come with a litany of reasons they're not compatible long term with Kiara, which she is aware of; JJ's primary obstacle is himself.

Regarding emotional intimacy, this is another place Jiara stands out. While Kiara can be emotionally vulnerable with a number of people (not uncommon for girls, who are raised to be that way) JJ is only emotionally intimate with her, all the way back to season 1. He cries in front of her several times, even lets her hold and comfort him when he's at his lowest. Contrast this to his best friend in the world John B. Though JJ clearly cares about him a ton and they're both ride or die, John B completely turns a blind eye to his abuse and neglect. I'm sure he knows JJ doesn't want to talk about it, but in doing so he normalizes and accepts that behavior, which further entrenches the normalization to JJ. Kiara on the other hand is extremely direct in denouncing JJ's treatment from the start. Even if JJ doesn't directly open up about it until the hot tub scene, she makes it clear where she stands and that she's on his side, which is exactly why he knows she's safe to be vulnerable about it with her. Kiara also innately understands and is lenient with him in ways that others aren't. She seems to naturally see the direct connection between what he's feeling, why he is the way that is, and the way that he behaves, even when he's self-sabotaging. She knows him on a deeper level too, which terrifies him until he overcomes it- entirely thanks to her patient, repeated efforts to reassure him.

All this to say I love the interactions we're getting in season 4, even if there's surprisingly little physical intimacy. JJ being protective on main (although we already saw this in season 2 with Kiara and his dad), Kiara accepting him even at his stupidest because loves him warts and all, Kiara reaffirming her feelings for him often, JJ making an effort to do things that make her happy (like having a little date), and of course, once again JJ respecting her autonomy no questions asked (agreeing despite his own fears to let her go along on the diving venture).

They want the same things, they're innately comfortable with each other, they protect each other, they respect each other, and they know each other's value. And, of course, they also thoroughly enjoy each other's company. That's why they're perfect for each other.

[iridescenttttttt]

This includes s5 spoilers!!

I think we as a fandom should talk more about how sun wukong has absolutely no self preservation, and how he has been self-sacrificial since season 1. Hi, my name is iridescent, and in this essay-

ok but in all seriousness, I have evidence from every season of him doing this, and I will be analyzing it and informing about it Meticulously.

I also have a couple of tangents about him protecting MK in here. I just like the detail of him always doing that, especially considering how he does it.

it wasn’t just season 5 where he was willing to sacrifice himself, season 5 was just the only season where it was outright blatantly stated that he was going to sacrifice himself.

(^Image taken from S1 EP9, Macaque)

this image in and of itself is fairly minor. Because we know he’s going to be okay. he is immortal, and compared to MK, an explosion most definitely will not do much, if anything, to him. and I’m sure he’s fully aware of this (which is probably part of the reason he shields MK with his body so much, there are SO many example of him doing this)

Still, even the fact his immediate instinct was to throw himself in harms way to protect MK is pretty sacrificial in and of itself. I’m 100% certain that even if it could hurt him, he would still protect MK like this.

(^ image taken from S2 EP10, this is the end)

Wukong here is visibly weakened and injured. It was stated early in season 3 that he was weak, and even at the end of season 2, we could tell. ESPECIALLY when he grabbed MK and escaped from LBD on his nimbus cloud. By the time they found their friends, it was deteriorating, and they quiet literally crash landed onto the ship.

But despite his obviously weakened state, he was still throwing himself in front of MK, protecting him from harm, and shielding him with his body. His first thought was to throw himself in harms way, and this time, there is a very real possibility that he probably can get injured! He’s weak, his powers are failing, there is no way he would have the energy to fight LBD. Not in the state he is in at this very moment, and MK isn’t, either. He knows this- I know he does, because instead of picking a fight, he grabs MK and runs. He even admits that he isn’t in any shape to face her. However, even though he knows he would hardly be able to put up a fight as it stands right now, he is still willing to throw himself in front of MK. (Which also directly supports what I said above! It does not matter if he can get hurt if not, he will still put himself in harms way to keep MK safe)

Similarly to above, he was fully willing to find and reforge the samadhi fire on his own, despite his weakened state- to keep the others out of harms way, because they are mortal and he is not. Still, even despite him being immortal, he’s trying to reforge the samadhi fire- one of the rare things that has the ability to actually hurt him. Wukong knows this, and he is still willing to do this alone. Even though he is obviously injured, and weakened, and there is a very real possibility the samadhi fire could kill him, he is willing to do this on his own. Because they are mortals- if the fire can kill him, then it can definitely kill them, too.

(^ Image taken from S3, EP1, on the run)

season 3 is, in my opinion, where his self-sacrificial tendencies and complete lack of self preservation becomes a lot more obvious. So, fair warning, season 3 is probably going to be a long one.

Wukong is fully willing to risk himself to get the map. And it isn’t like he doesn’t know the risks of forcing his way through the Barrie. Ne Zha even warns him, and says that if he forces his way through the barrier, they could both be destroyed. And honestly? If Wukong wasn’t, like, 7x immortal, there is a very real possibility that he would’ve been destroyed, then and there. And while, yeah, Ne Zha didn’t die, either, he also wasnt the one actively breaking through the barrier. I’m sure if Ne Zha was the one breaking through, he probably would’ve died. Even then, Wukong was severely weakened after this (as seen and talked about above!), he knew the risks and he still took them. He knew he could die, but if it meant saving the world and keeping MK and his friends safe? He would do it. And, again, even after being fully aware of his weakened state, he immediately ran to the protection of MK as soon as he realized he was in danger.

(^images taken from S3 EP10, The Samadhi Fire)

I’ve already talked about how often he is shown to use his body to protect MK from danger, but here, specifically, I want to mention be we are specifically shown a scene of him moving his arm to protect MK from danger. Especially considering the danger is the samadhi fire- something that can actually harm him. This is different from most other times he’s doing this, because this time, he can actually get hurt.

This is one of, in my opinion, one the most obvious examples of him being a self sacrificing idiot with very little self preservation (/aff)

his entire plan, from the very beginning, was to try and take the samadhi fire out of Mei (because he never wanted her to be harmed- he’s spent the entirety of season 2 and 3 trying to protect MK and his friends, he never one intentionally hurt them) and put it in himself. Think about that. The samadhi fire is something that can harm him- kill him, and he knows that. He knows that extremely well. His entire plan could lead to his death, and he’s aware of that. And the same thing goes for when he was getting the map in the first place- both times, he was fully aware that there is a possibility he could die from this. He doesn’t care, though. If it protects the people he cares about, he’s going to do it- even if he dies in the process.

once again, we are specifically shown a scene of him trying to protect MK. His immediate thought has always been to take the brunt of the fire, and keep MK from danger- I fully think, had there not been a shock factor to MK literally running straight in, he would have ran in after.

Again, in this scene he has no self preservation, and he is very self sacrificial. His entire plan from the very beginning hitched on having a weapon, something powerful enough to stop the lady bone demon, except that plan has failed, and now, there is no weapon. So his new solution? Stop LBD himself.

If he was truly confident he could beat her again, then why did he go looking for the samadhi fire, instead of going to immediately fight her and stop her? He’s desperate, he knows how bad the situation is, and he still isn’t sure if he can even beat her. He’s still willing to try, if it means protecting MK and his friends, and saving the world. He’s going into the fight. Alone. No backup, no plan, no samadhi fire. (And we know this goes wrong, too) He is fully aware of this! He knows he’s going into a fight he’s might not come out of. Everyone else knows this, too- Ne Zha even points out the chances of him surviving are slim.

(^ image taken from S4, EP1, familiar tales)

once again, his immediate reaction (even when being faced with his trauma) is to protect and save MK. He knows what the scroll is, and he knows what’s going to happen if he gets stuck inside of it- despite that, he still sacrifices himself to ensure MK doesn’t get stuck inside of the scroll. He lets himself get sucked into it. He is willing to face all of the mistakes he’s made and the trauma he’s endured to protect MK from having to go through the same.

WARNING YOU ALL AGAIN!!! S5 SPOILERS BEGIN NOW!!

Let’s all be honest here, they’re both lacking in the self preservation department. They are not lacking in the self sacrifice department, though, I’ll tell you that much! This entire fight, they are very blatant about how they are, quite literally, fighting over who gets to sacrifice themself. There isn’t much to say here that wouldn’t be stating the obvious- neither of them want eachother to sacrifice themselves, they both want to be the sacrifice.

TLDR: Sun Wukong has been self sacrificial and has had a disregard for his own preservation since we were introduced to him. This has only become more apparent as he grew closer to MK, and as his character has developed.

is all of this already very obvious? Mmmaybe???? I’m not too sure. Did I make a couple of reaches a couple of times? Mmmmmmmaaaaaybe. Is this an excuse to infodump and talk about sun wukong? Yeah. Am I sorry? No.

[madwhimsical]

i am still slowly rewatching The Ghost and Molly Mcgee, and like, I know the basic shapes of the arcs, I remember Scratch growing to care for Molly across s1. but the thing about going through each episode with a fine-toothed comb is, i am seeing this shift start to happen in significant ways a lot sooner than I thought it did. Like, in-the-second-episode sooner.

On the one hand, I understand a show needing to establish its character dynamic status quo early on. Episode 1 did a great job of that initial setup, and also preparing the audience to expect a kind of slowburn of Scratch's emotional walls coming down (I'm looking at you, the oblique Scratch-as-Andrea apology at the end of First Day Frights). This kind of vibe continues in Howlin' Harriet, as Scratch invents "safe" reasons for hanging around Molly (e.g. using the camping trip to pad out his scare report). And the show could have run with only this formula for a while: Molly's doing a thing, find an excuse to be on the periphery, grouse about it, but ultimately acquiesce and become invested. In fact, this is pretty much the setup for ep 3's Getting the Band(Shell) Back Together.

But something interesting happens in ep 2's The (Un)Natural. Tammy rips on Molly's lack of pitching skill, and Scratch intervenes (i will refrain from talking here about how protective Scratch is of Molly's feelings already, although it is a catalyst). Crucially, and allow me to continue the softball metaphor here, Scratch approaches clowning on Tammy/the Skylarks in a way that positions Molly and himself as being on the same team.

He's still denying friendship motivating his actions, but Scratch is unequivocally excited about cheating at playing softball with Molly. He outright says, "I cannot wait until the next game when we do it all over again!" And I find this use of "we" significant, because I think this is the first instance he's used first person plural to designate Molly as being part of his personal sphere/plans. Any other time he's used "we" in reference to Molly, it's been more in service of convincing her to exit an activity/situation he'd rather not bother with (hell, he does this earlier in this same ep, to try to persuade Molly to leave the Lemmings well enough alone so he can take a nap). But the guy is having fun alongside Molly here, rather than despite her or at her expense. He's enjoying having a reason to pal around with her, to say nothing of having a kind of blanket approval to be a little bit of a stinker to the other teams via ghost powers. I talked earlier about "safe" reasons to enjoy Molly's company, and i think being aligned against a common adversary accomplishes that for Scratch in that he could plausibly claim he was simply enjoying haunting them. This allows him a freedom to be more openly enthusiastic about the ongoing events without having to show vulnerability regarding his growing fondness for Molly. And across the subsequent games, he looks like he's super enjoying himself, like

He's having a blast, he's being silly! He's doing little antics to get Molly's attention so she can share in his good time! Like, the degree to which Scratch reaches out to Molly this episode is kind of mindboggling for how early in the series we are. I did not expect this level of sincere engagement from Scratch until a while later. And when Tammy jabs at Molly yet again, he invites Molly to give input on how to get back at her. There's another usage of first person plural here, too: "Let's just take this jerk down". He's specifically positioning them together, against Tammy, on Molly's behalf.

I think it's also worth mentioning that by this point, Scratch is legitimately invested in the Lemmings' success, like. He does not want to see them lose this game. And when Libby brings home the win, it's a win they share alongside each other.

Tellingly, as the Lemmings are celebrating their championship victory, Molly and Scratch are situated in the stands, apart from the group. A part of their own team. Molly even echoes this sentiment back to Scratch, vis-a-vis her aim to inspire confidence in the Lemmings: "We did it."

This level of support from Scratch is not consistent yet (he pretty immediately reverts to professing disengagement from Molly and her family in the very next episode), but I was so surprised to see it here this plainly. I guess that's the power of sports!

[toobusybeingdelulu]

no because why do I have the feeling that the night at the Byers’ house steve needed that fight more than billy? think about it. When seeing Steve on the porch he immediately relaxes (leaning against the car, lighted cigarette, hand on the belt) while Steve is more closed off and tense (arms crossed etc).

Steve knew that that encounter would have ended in blood one way or another, while I don’t think that Billy did: he was just there to pick up his sister. His night had already been ruined. Not even a fight could fix it. And also he had to hurry up because Neil was waiting for him, and last but not least… I don’t think he had wanted to fight steve in the first place, despite what everyone may think. I’ve always had the impression that, in canon, he wanted to get to know him in a non-antagonistic way, but didn’t know how to properly… do that, you know? So yeah, a bit of advice on the basketball court, with just enough pushing to not give Steve the idea that he was some sort of pussy (after all, we‘ve seen how he was raised), then some compliments under the shower and a little bit of encouragement (‘don’t sweat it Harrington’ ‘today is just not your day man’ + side eye at Tommy when he teased him about Nancy + ‘don’t take it too hard man, a pretty boy like you has got nothing to worry about.’) and he probably thought that maybe he was doing a good job at it?

Well. Steve did not think so. How can we blame him tho? Let’s remember that Steve is in a hurricane of emotions in season 2: he just lost his spot as king of the crowds, his shot at a normal life and his girlfriend. And then there is this new boy (who is going through just as much of a change) who cannot stop being in his space, and being mean, and pushing him around, and how could he believe that he was being friendly? Of course he is gonna think that dude’s just being a dick for the sake of making his life hell, for some reason. Even the compliments he threw his way may sound as mocking for someone who had been told to his face by his girlfriend that he was nothing but bullshit.

So.. yeah. It’s safe to say that these two idiots did not understand each other, so a fight had been inevitable. And of course it was started by Steve. Because he is the one that had a different perception of Billy’s behaviors towards him than billy himself: maybe he thought that he would have fought him even if he had told him the truth. Or some reasonable lie. Either way, it would have been inevitable. but least he could have a little fun before the first punch, ergo the “were you dropped too much as a child or what?” Because what the duffers and even his fans don’t understand about Steve Harrington’s character is that he is still a former mean girl. No matter how hard they try to uwufying him. Did he change since s1? Sure. But that doesn’t mean he can’t be bitter. That he can’t be awful sometimes. And selfish. But that is fine!! Because that’s what made him interesting in the first place. And the night at the Byers’ had been one of those times. Did billy get out of line with his violence once started? Sure. But Steve threw the first punch. And he needed that fight, because unlike the monster in the fridge, THAT was something familiar. THAT was something normal teenagers did.

and the thing that makes this dynamic even more interesting? Is that Billy loved this side of Steve (“looks like you got some fire in you after all huh? I’ve been waiting to meet this king Steve everyone is telling me so much about”) Because, once again, it was something that he recognized.

In the end, they were both scared kids trying to find a bit of normalcy in each other’s blood in order to escape their respective monsters.

[greasedglizzy]

Bridgerton Rant

Old topic, but the online discourse between Eloise and Penelope's relationship will never fail to irritate me for a number of reasons, but mainly because of the popular opinion that "Eloise was always jealous of penelope's success etc" or "Eloise was a bad friend and never cared about pen's wants."

I disagree with this take specifically because of this Singular scene. The Garden Scene in Season 2.

The previous scene of them before this was Eloise defending Penelope against Cressida's insult. Then afterwards, they leave the ballroom together to which they end up in the garden. Away from all eyes and ears. The conversation they have here is one of the most vulnerable and raw things I've ever seen, which to me makes their relationship feel all the more truer.

But it also reveals the limiters within their dynamic that I think alot of people miss.

Eloise dismisses Cressida Cowper's insult towards Penelope, while also discussing her distaste for the event entirely.

"It is all of them. Staring at me like I'm some fine China teapot. How do you do it on your own, Pen?"

At the end of her sentence here, she blindly includes Penelope, completely unaware of Pen's position being indirectly rejected by the Ton because of her features and family.

Pen reminds her of the "Wallflower" persona, to which Eloise cannot see. But Penelope, instead of complaining about the insult, reclaims and embodies it within her next dialogue.

"It's not so bad, you know. The Wallflower thing."

She starts listing off the benefits of her position rather than discussing her discomfort in the weight of rejection.

It feels bittersweet seeing her empathize with her involuntary non conformaty, even though we as viewers sees how hard it weighs on the character. But that's not the entire point of this dialogue. What really sells it to me is while she's listing off what the wall allows her to see, Eloise looks to her with a attentive expression before saying:

"You've been keeping it from me."

IMMEDIATELY, Pen displays shock. Misinterpreting this as Eloise figuring out she is Whistledown.

(Its revealed at the end of s1 that she's whistledown at this time so we automatically know this is her thought process.)

But to our surprise, Eloise is talking about something else. Which is Penelope's love for the regency scene of ballrooms, suitors, romance, etc.

But the real hit of this scene is what Eloise offers in this next round of dialogue. She's says:

"You do not have to pretend any longer, Pen.

You like all of this."

This line delivery is one of the most raw and expressive portrayals in media I've ever seen, Claudia Jessie you will always be famous.

To me, What hits so hard about this line is the implications behind what Eloise is offering and providing to Pen. A safe space.

There is also alot of online discourse about Eloise's character not being a "girl's girl" and shunning other women for their tastes in the regency standards and traditions for women at the time, but to me, what Eloise says in this scene somewhat combats that take. (A little bit)

Instead of berating Penelope for her interest in these events (that Eloise is always badmouthing and displaying her clear disinterest towards), She tells penelope she does not have to hide any longer from her.

In a way, this kinda feels like a hidden stone of Eloise's character that is not appreciated enough within the takes on her character. Her vulnerability and the Empathy that she has for those closest to her. You see her demonstrate this ability to provide a safe space when she's with Benedict on the swings, away from all eyes and ears.

In response to her "not being a girls girl", I don't think she has an active distaste for women in general. Her problems are with the standards and expectations implaced upon women and how society reduces women during that age to the skills they gain to attract a man, their submission to men, and their expected ability to reproduce

"Like Chattels and Breeding Stock" - Kate Sharma.

But there are times when Eloise's distaste for these standards end up reflecting onto the women around her but I really don't think that is her intention. In fact, she doesn't just refer to herself whenever she boasts about feminist ideals. She speaks of liberation for women in general.

She defends women when she has to dance with that guy Violet sets her up with at that ball.

"Maybe try not to insult her entire sex in the process."

And she is genuinely excited when visiting the Radical Rally for the first time and seeing a woman leading its debate. Though, I see this fails to translate in her scenes with societal women. Another fault of her character is her inability to remain in touch with the world around her.

(But that's why her ending line in s3 makes me believe her development in that aspect is arriving soon. "I cannot change the world without seeing more of it.")

But anyways!

Referring Back to her and Pen's dynamic and Eloise's realization of Pen's interest in the ton. I'm aware that this can also be easily tossed out the window because "Well that's the bare minimum! She should've noticed sooner!"

True, but then her character would have no faults. Scenes like this show she is capable of nuance and growth, as well as comfort and understanding. It makes her character humane.

But these scenes aren't nearly as recognized as her louder scenes, which only occur when she is put in a space where she is actively vulnerable to being judged or perceived. And how does she want to be perceived in this world?

A person existing outside the standard. A independent woman capable of holding her own in a society that prevent the culmination of the ideals she clings to.

Anyways, returning back to the main point of this rant.

Penelope is relieved for a moment after Eloise reveals the context behind that statement. And for a moment, you believe the scene will carry on with Pen admitting her deep passion for these traditions and continuing a healthy conversation of back and forth internal sharing between friends!

But Penelope does not do this.

Not entirely anyway. Instead, she sort of brushes off Eloise's offer.

"Well, It can be amusing."

Is all she says in response to Eloise's words before immediately changing the subject to Eloise's fading interest in lady whistledown.

To me, this immediate switch came off as a shock to me. Upon rewatching, I realized that this moment was different. It wasn't just her erasing suspicion of her connection to being whistledown. This was Penelope putting a wall up, portraying a gap within their relationship.

Because as Eloise is loudmouthed, opinionated, and talkative within their dynamic, Penelope is the opposite. Closed off, minimally responsive, and withdrawn.

This dynamic was never going to hold because there was a deep imbalance between the knowledge being shared within their bond.

THIS is why their argument at the end of s2 had nothing to do with Jealousy. It was a wake up call to Eloise that there was a whole withdrawn bank of knowledge about the person who she considered her closest friend, and her not knowing enough about her friend is what essentially led to their downfall.

Not because she never tried to know pen, but because she thought she did know pen. Everything she knew about Pen was what Penelope ALLOWED her to know and have access to.

She thought they had mutual trust built up over years of friendship. Trust so strong, that Penelope was the ONLY person she told about Theo.

Not even Benedict knew about Theo. AND THATS HER BROTHER.

There mightve been maybe some Jealousy later on, I don't really see that, but if it were to be, it was not in that room or that moment. That argument was all about heartbreak. Not just between her and Theo, but her and Penelope.

NOW, when I say this, I am not saying Penelope is some evil mastermind with a pension for deceit. Her decision to not tell Eloise about certain aspects of her life doesn't make her a bad person, but it does make you question the stability of her friendship.

But, She has a plethora of reasons as to why she has to keep herself withdrawn. Not only that, but the household she grew up in I'd argue is a direct causation of her tendency to withdraw information in all her relationships. That and because the independence of her having her own hobby, source of income, and uninflueced persona provides her with a level of agency that society could never provide for her.

But mainpoint I'm trying to say here, is that

1. Eloise is capable of displaying care for her friend's interests and can work to understand the value of those interests even if they do not align with her own, as portrayed in the garden.

And 2. Eloise is not jealous of pen's success and that their argument was a stepping stone to her development as a character and how the demonstration of heartbreak amongst her connections builds that development.

I really wanna decode more of the Garden scene, because it's way more emotional passed these few lines of dialogue, especially Eloise's admittance of her fears and internal Insecurity towards being a disappointment and Penelope's admittance towards liking the buzz of gossip and the opportunities the wall allows her.

But I'm really tired so tomorrow.

[bekaterrier]

Happy Audio Drama Sunday! I've started working my way through my holiday backlog, so some of these episodes are from a couple of weeks ago.

@storiesfromylelmore Episode 209 - Detention: After their wild escapade last episode, the trio are in detention (worth it), and they're as hilarious as ever. I wanted to shout out the sound scaping, the rain on the windows was very soothing; noticeable but not distracting from the episode. Also I want to know what the lunch ladies were gossiping about, Ms. Yesrith and who??? I have the feeling that Keryth wasn't really supposed to be able to summon the School Blessing. Also I'm adding Blessings to my internal database of the lore of Ylelmore! 🏫

SFY Patreon Minisode - Knight AU: Y'all it is so cute to hear the kids in this AU. You definitely need to join the Patreon to hear the whole thing, it is worth it! ⚔️

Case Study: IREC-A59 - Update: No new episode, but I did get the chance to chat with the writer over the holidays! The plan for the show is 4 seasons, which have already been broadly mapped out. S1 will be 20 episodes, and work on the writing for season 2 is already underway! I can't wait for more of the world building to be revealed, as it sounds like there's a lot of thought that went into it. Also I really hope they eventually release a bloopers reel for S1 because the stories I heard sound ridiculous. 🚀

@starfallpod Act 1 Scene xviii: Oh Fel...oh Leona... </3 I'm very glad that they had their talk and are back to being besties (them not getting along was just not right), but man were those some tough things they had to share. Can we not just bundle them up with a bunch of food and keep them safe somewhere? Nothing more bad will happen to them right?? 🎭

@vestaclinicpod S2 Teaser Trailer: I. Am. So. Excited!!! S2 coming in early 2025, with cases run by the whole Vesta Clinic team!! ⚕️

@monkeymanproductions's Waiting For October S1 Episode 3 - Small Town: By the end of this episode, I just wanted to bundle Karo up in a big hug. It's clear she went through a lot as a child, and while we learned some, there's still a lot she's not saying. As someone from a small town, I can totally understand how coming back is both comforting and bringing up old wounds. It's made especially tough when a minstrel won't stop following you around singing about your life without the complete picture (not that I've had that particular event happen to me...) 🪕

@midnightburgr Welcome to the Horizon Part 9 - The Mountain: Drunk June is the best. Drunk June being proven right is even better! I'm with her, I also snorted when Deidre said the full "Deidre Peppercorns" out loud, and yes, that Verge moment was hot. I am falling in love with each of these Hood's Pocket weirdos more each episode, Edgy Steve and Flat Doug included. Also, "I mean, look at you. Of course you fell from the sky." SO smooth Deidre!! Now what up with this comet?! ☄️

[ageless-aislynn]

Title: “15 Minutes” (9/?) Author:  @ageless-aislynn​ Characters/fandom: Master Chief John-117/Reader, Halo the series Summary: You're in peril but don't be afraid, help is near. Series: How to date a Spartan (without even trying) Rating:  T (PG13) Length: 2,568 (this chapter, 22,261 total so far) Spoilers: Set in the Silver Timeline of Halo the series, not the games or novels. Though we began with the events of Halo 1x06, there will be no more show spoilers. We are still firmly seated in the AU Warthog, merrily driving out to places where there’s only a passing nod to canon. 😉 Trigger warning: claustrophobia Disclaimer: Definitely not mine but I do enjoy borrowing them just for a bit! 😉 A/N:  Text is both here in this post or available at AO3, however you like to read. Halo season 2 has finally arrived! However, this fic continues to zip along in the AU Party Warthog, so, while we began with season 1 way back when (and you’ll see a few more things from s1 along the way 😉), we’ll not be venturing into s2 territory at all. Unless s2 is going to take some verrrrry interesting twists, lol! Chapter 10 is in progress by hand but I hope to have it ready soon. 🤞😣🤞 The tags have been updated for hurt/comfort starting with this chapter. If you read, I hope you enjoy! ⭐💖⭐

Taglist: @pinheadbanger​ @mysardencut​ @laurenstacy610​ @sporadicbelievernightmare​ @ultrablackwidower​ @bxmxtx​ @jellotherelol

If you would like to be tagged in my John/Reader fics, just let me know! I also write John/Kai, John/Cortana and Kai/male Reader, so I’m glad to tag you for whatever you’d like. If you would like to be removed from the taglist, also feel free to let me know, no harm, no foul. 😉 💖

Halo fic masterlist ⭐

Chapter 1 - Chapter 2 - Chapter 3 - Chapter 4 - Chapter 5 - Chapter 6 - Chapter 7 - Chapter 8

Trigger warning again: claustrophobia If you need to avoid the actual scene, skip the entire first section but there will be a lot of mentions of it again through the rest of the chapter, just so you're aware. I don't want to cause any distress to anyone so if you'd like a recap of what happens in this chapter, feel free to contact me here and I'm happy to oblige so you can stay in-the-know without reading something that could trigger a bad reaction. Stay safe, my friends! 🤗

You tried to gasp in a breath but there was a weight pinning you down. Smoke burned your lungs and your eyes. Your left arm couldn't move but you were able to bring your right hand up to wipe your face, trying to clear your vision. The only light in the rubble came from a shower of sparks a few feet away, emitting from a panel half-ripped from the wall. There was very little to orientate yourself by.

"Hello?" you tried to call but you couldn't take a deep enough breath to yell. The muffled ring in your ears told you that at least one of your eardrums had ruptured.

Evaluate, you thought in the tone you used when triaging patients, shoving down a wave of panic. You tried to squeeze out from under whatever was pressed across your back. No good, too much weight.

There wasn't a tremendous amount of pain but you worried at the numbness from your waist down, behind whatever was restraining you.

Evaluate.

You tested moving your legs, your feet, your toes. It felt strange but yes, you had movement.

Spinal cord potentially compromised but not severed, you diagnosed as clinically as possible.

Something overhead gave an alarming groan.

Alert help. Report your position.

"Hello? I'm by the crane operator booth. Can anyone hear me?"

You couldn't get the volume you wanted and you automatically tried to inhale deeper. You couldn't and had to fight another wave of panic. The animal part of your brain wanted to claw the twisted metal of the deck, trying to squirm free, but when you twitched, something above you groaned again.

You had no way to know how perilous the collapsed structure was. A wrong move could bring it all down.

A fresh wave of smoke irritated your nose and you coughed weakly. From far away, you heard the muffled sound of a woman saying your rank and last name.

"Here," you choked out. "I'm here."

A blue light shimmered a few feet away, the lower half of a blue-tinted woman, her upper body phased through the rubble. Then she shrank until she fit the space, adjusting like a camera lens. A hologram.

She repeated your rank and last name. "We have your location," she said, your damaged hearing distorting her voice. "Sit tight, a rescue crew is on their way."

You tried to respond but the smoke triggered more coughing, so you nodded.

"I'll stay with you for as long as the holo-emiter holds," she said, gesturing towards the ruined wall panel that continued to spark.

"Thank you," you managed to say. "Casualties?"

She glanced up and away as if receiving new information. "Reports coming in of injuries but no fatalities. Your alert gave enough time for almost everyone to get clear."

"Good." You made yourself slow your breathing down, taking shallow breaths since you couldn't take deeper ones. For a moment, your head swam and it felt like the floor tipped. Your fingers scratched for a hold on the crumpled metal.

The sound of your rank and name cut through the terror. "You're all right," the woman assured you. "You're not falling. Try to stay still. Silver Team will be back on site in a few more minutes. John will be here soon."

It gave you something to focus on other than bring trapped. The way she knew that the mention of John would comfort you, that she didn't call him Master Chief like most people did, even the mannerism of how she'd looked away, like someone was speaking in her ear...

"Your name wouldn't be Ms. Classified, would it?" you asked haltingly and tried to smile.

"That's... not inaccurate," she said and maybe it was your blurry vision but you could've sworn she gave you a fond smile, like she knew you. "I'm not supposed to tell my name."

You tried to say it was all right but couldn't draw enough breath.

"Ah, screw it," she said. "What are they going to do, fire me? My name is Cortana."

You must've blacked out because the next thing you knew, she was kneeling next to you, her small holographic hand resting atop your outstretched arm as she repeated your rank and name.

If you could get a breath, you needed a good, solid breath. Your chest instinctively fought to expand but couldn't beneath the pressure bearing down on your back. Something above you slid and the pressure abruptly worsened. You clawed, you fought, you struggled to breathe. To live.

"John, get here now! The support beam is failing!"

"Not his fault," you tried to say. "Tell him. Not his--"

Metal screamed and everything went dark.

You woke, grasping at nothing. You still couldn't get a deep breath but this time you were on your back and it felt like someone had laced a corset brutally tight around you.

"Easy there. You're all right," said a deep voice.

Your vision swam and then Spartan Vannak-134 appeared out from the dim lighting. You were still clawing at the air, trying to sit up, and he caught your hand a little awkwardly in his much larger ones.

"Where?" you gasped.

"You're back on Reach, in medical."

Once he said it, details emerged like a black and white picture filling in with color: the beeps of the monitors, the distinctive antiseptic smell. Your hearing was still deadened but not as much as before, meaning they had already begun healing therapies on your eardrums.

Anything you might've wanted to say dissolved like sugar on your tongue before the words could be spoken. Your head seemed too full. I'm drugged, you thought and that was the last thing you knew for a while.

Voices drew you from the murky depths and you tried to open your eyes but couldn't.

"Hold her hand," Vannak said in a quiet rumble. "She likes that."

A new hand gently folded around yours and your fingers instinctively gripped hold.

You woke, feeling the phantom press of metal bearing down on you, forcing the air from your lungs. You tried to sit up, your limbs flailed, uncoordinated and leaden. A second hand closed around yours and a feminine voice began to softly sing, a lullaby in a language you didn't recognize.

The room was blurry but you caught a glimpse of red hair -- Spartan Riz-028. You went under once more, dreaming of music that soothed your fears.

Later, there was a new voice to lure you up from the sticky darkness.

"Poor little thing. She looks so small."

"She'll heal. Hold her hand, it helps."

At some point, you jolted awake to find your hand cradled carefully within Kai's.

"Hey," she said, sitting up straighter in the chair next to the bed. "You need anything?"

Your head felt less stuffed with cotton than before but now that cotton seemed to have been transferred to your mouth. "Water?" you croaked.

She jumped up and returned shortly, carrying a cup with a straw in it. You intended to sit up but a searing pain in your ribs immediately convinced you that was a bad idea and you let her help you by holding the straw to your lips.

"Slowly," she advised.

Once you'd taken a couple of sips, you mumbled your thanks then promptly passed out.

You thought you'd closed your eyes for a brief moment but when they fluttered open, it wasn't Kai sitting in the chair, holding your hand.

As soon as John knew you were awake, he was on his feet, carefully brushing the fingertips of his free hand along the curve of your cheek.

You mouthed his name.

"Rest," he said. "I'm here. You're safe."

For the first time in what seemed like forever, you truly felt as if you were. Your mind let go.

"And how's our favorite mech, the Hero of the Pit?"

"That's not a very heroic name," you confessed, smiling as Maria and then Jamie entered medical.

You were sitting on the side of the bed in generic gray scrubs, waiting for Dr. Savannah to give you final instructions before your release. It had been two days since the explosion. Your hearing had, thankfully, returned to normal. The rest of you... not so much but you were on the mend.

They both gave you careful hugs.

"You look a lot less like you were squashed by a building," Jamie said sincerely and Maria punched his arm. "Hey, that was a compliment!"

"Don't make me laugh," you begged, holding your left side. They'd fused your broken ribs back together but the tissue damage would take longer to resolve. Still, aches, pains, limited motion and all, you knew you were very lucky.

"I hope they're giving you a nice vacation, at least," Maria went on.

"I should be ready for light duty in a week."

"Technically, I said we'd evaluate you for light duty in a week," Dr. Savannah corrected as she entered. "Afraid your friends will have to catch up with you later."

They said their goodbyes and, as they left, you started to stand. The doctor quickly said, "No, you don't. I don't want you walking on that leg."

"It's not broken," you argued.

"Not anymore," she countered. "Stay put. I got you a ride."

"I don't need to be wheeled back to the barracks." You tried to keep your tone confident but the truth was even that little bit of exertion had left you feeling twinges all along your left leg. Your left shoulder throbbed with each heartbeat.

"Well, good thing you're wrong on both counts," she said, winking. "And here he is now."

John came through the door, dressed in his undersuit as if either about to head to the Brokkr stations to have his Mjolnir mounted up or returning from having it removed. You didn't even realize you'd moved to rise again until Dr. Savannah put a practiced hand on your good shoulder to keep you down.

"I'll be sending PT to you twice a day, starting tomorrow," she said. "They'll help you to get your strength and mobility back. Around that, rest. Catch up on your reading, watch some thoroughly trashy movies, and keep your feet up. Not too far up, though. Nothing too strenuous. Make him do all of the work."

That got you to look at her and she waggled her eyebrows.

John cleared his throat slightly, a faint but definite flush creeping up from his collar. "Yes, ma'am."

"All right, see you back in a few days, sooner if anything else develops. You know what to watch for."

It wasn't until she stepped back and John approached that it clicked.

"You're going to carry me?"

"Yes, ma'am," he repeated in a murmur that shivered straight down your spine.

Since your left side had taken the brunt of the damage, he put your right to his chest and cautiously picked you up in a bridal carry. Despite the care, being moved set a thousand things to hurting and your breath hitched as he straightened.

"You okay?"

"Yeah," you said, your tone tighter than you would've liked. You thought, I hope nobody sees me being toted around like this, but, as soon as you left medical, you realized that no one was actually looking at you.

I think if Master Chief offered to drop me and pick up any marine, ODST or officer in this hall, they'd be hopping into his arms before I even hit the floor!

At the first turn he made, you realized the rest of it. "This isn't the way to the barracks."

"Nope," he said and you knew him well enough now to see the hint of a smile in his eyes.

You didn't have to wait for further clues, there was only one place, then, that he could be taking you. "How many strings did you have to pull for this?"

"Not as many as you might think," he demurred. "Your actions saved lives."

And they could've blamed you for failing to make sure a bomb hadn't been sent to the Pit in the first place. The curly tailed Warthog had been your responsibility, after all. You'd been curtly informed of all that when they'd debriefed you the first day you'd had your eyes open for more than 15 minutes.

You doubted they'd told that to John, though.

When you reached his room, he maneuvered so to get his thumb on the panel without jostling you too much. The lights came on as he took you through the doorway and then he paused.

"Kai," he rumbled, shaking his head. "She said studies show people heal better with color. I should've known she'd overdo it. Say the word and I'll have her in here clearing this out."

"It's your room," you said, "but personally, I love it."

The duvet on the bed and the pillows on the couch were now a rainbow of jewel tones. A tapestry with a field of sunflowers dominated the wall at the foot of the bed and you could've sworn there was a dusting of diamond glitter shimmering on every wall, sending tiny holographic rainbows through the air in all directions. But the main thing that caught your attention was overhead.

"She put up stars," you said, brightening.

"Ah, that one was actually me," he confessed. "You seemed to really like those in her room so I thought..."

You stretched up in his arms, inhaling a little sharply at the stab of pain in your left side, and pressed a kiss to his cheek. "I love them, John. Thank you."

A short time later, you found yourself lying on the bed in the darkened room, looking up at those stars. John had profusely apologized for not being able to stay after getting you settled in. He'd turned down the bed so you wouldn't have to, had put your padd close at hand on the nightstand to the right along with a bottle of water and a couple of emergency ration packs in case you got hungry before someone bought you a meal. He'd even procured you a set of unthinkably soft civvies to change into, exactly your size and in your favorite color.

You couldn't imagine that a Spartan had ever taken care of a sick or wounded person before, other than in a battlefield triage situation, so he'd probably found a checklist from somewhere to guide him. His earnestness to make sure he'd done everything right sent warmth flooding through you.

Before he left, he'd paused to kiss the top of your head.

"You know," you said, lifting your chin, "my lips aren't broken."

He hesitated. "The last time I did that, an entire base fell on you."

"Only the warehouse part," you said dismissively, "and there was absolutely no correlation, I promise."

He tried to smile at that but his eyes still showed concern.

"I promise," you repeated more seriously and he exhaled as if about to make a tremendous leap. His kiss was so soft and gentle, it was barely more than a whisper against your mouth.

Once he had left, you'd considered taking Dr. Savannah's advice and watching a holo, reading something on your padd, or doing any number of things to pass the time but ultimately, you'd wanted to appreciate his handiwork.

After all, it wasn't just anybody who could say a Spartan had literally hung the stars for them.

[nalyra-dreaming]

https://www.tumblr.com/nalyra-dreaming/764035488039550976/omg-i-just-realized-the-duality-of-loustat-over. It wasn’t unjustified tho. Lestat did abuse Louis, even though he loved him. It’s undeniable. That’s the thing about Lestat, he was born and raised in violence and abuse, and when he gets mad that’s all he knows. He literally dropped Louis from the sky. Even though he kept them in the dark to protect them, Claudia and Louis still felt trapped. The show isn’t the book. In the book, Claudia kills him because she wants to leave and she chooses Louis because he’s easier to manipulate. In the show, Claudia’s desire to kill him is to be “freed” from him, and to free Louis too, because she doesn’t feel safe anymore. From her pov, his intentions and reasons don’t matter.

As I’ve read on X too, Lestat realizes that his attempt at protecting his family was awful because, if Claudia and Louis managed to kill him while he couldn’t bring himself to kill his own father, then he must’ve really fucked up.

And Claudia from the series definitely doesn’t have the same reasons to hate Lestat as book Claudia does.

I don’t get why we must coddle Lestat to this point. He’s great, but when he’s abusive, it must be admitted.🤷🏼‍♀️ like when people say “wait until season two he gets better!” and it’s literally just Lestat being a ghost and showing up for the trial, just to be revealed to not be there to kill them at the end. Those who know his story understand the implications, but to those who don’t know, doesn’t this invalidate actual victims?

No-one coddles Lestat by pointing out that the book quote used to say he “deserved it“ is taken out of context.

The show is not the book - that‘s the whole point.

The show did something stupid, to be frank: they added domestic abuse. For shock value. Hannah and Rolin both commented on that. AND they don’t see the big problem with it either!! And as the start of the toxic masculinity misconception. And… Amel.

Which was confirmed by Sam. Sam, who also tried to warn us re episode 5, wanted trigger warnings on it. Because he realized what this would do.

Claudia‘s motivations might not be done with either - Murder Night, set to be revisited, has not been yet. You have heard an (proven!) edited tale… you don’t know the (whole) truth yet.

We will see.

But if I‘m right - and just to be clear, >I< do NOT “want“ this, but I can add 2+2 together, I understand why they do it, but I don’t LIKE it(!) - and when the Akasha arc will fail because “surprised Pikachu face“ Lestat isn‘t the epitome of male toxicity after all… and then, when the show will point out Amel‘s awakening for certain events… then it will get really ugly.

And then that will leave a really ugly aftertaste.

Also, as a little comment: I have read so much shit and simply false information on Twitter… the show, its actors and the writers always return to the books - why the heck do you think we shouldn‘t? No, the show is not the books - and yet they are doing the books. And s3 will give a lot more context.

You will have to follow the narrative. Because s1 & 2 were not the whole truth. That was what all those programmed responses and the reveal at the end was all about.

Maybe you should rewatch.

[marvelling-at-marvel-blog]

Today I have done a lot of thinking about fictional charachters because...well my day has beeen horrible and its been better than thinking about that.

I saw a clip of shameless S1 where Mickey is dirty and unclean and I remember how a lot of people have said maybe he didn't really care until Ian came along or started to try for Ian. And sure, that may be part of it, but in my experience, there are so many other reasons people are unclean for, and I think a few would apply to Mickey.

1. I think part of the reasons he is reguarly covered in dirt is that being dirty tends to hide or blend in bruises. It is not going to work completely but enough to make people wonder if that is dirt or a bruise, or if they are seeing it properly. I imagine Terry wasn't light handed in beatings, and the kids were expected to cover for it. While teenage Mickey could say he was in a fight younger Mickey would have easily used that just some days old dirt excuse.

2. Lack of hot water or just water in his house. I don't think paying the bills on time was high on Terry's list either, and we know the house was basically a dump. It wouldnt surprise me if they reguarly had no hot water or if they did it run out quickly with the old water heater and you did not want to be the one causing Terry to have a cold shower. Or he saved the hot water for Mandy because he knows she actually really cares about her appearance and being clean

3. As a reason not to have to be with girls. In his first episode, Karen mentions that maybe Mickey is coming to find her to ask her out again and then says basically says along the lines of "I wouldn't because he smells like shit.' Being unclean and dirty means girls are less likely to want to go out with him, so he can ask the girls who he knows will say no then have it be that they are a b***ch who said no, or she don't know what she missing. He comes out of looking like her really doesn't care he got turned down but still leaves the impression his into girls. It is like a protective layer

4. I think caring about your appearance and the way you're dressed is something Mickey's dad would find pansy. Which Ugh, Terry is the worst.

5. I don't think some people really understand how vulnerable being naked in a place you dont feel safe in is. I feel like if Terry is mad, drunk, or just desires it, he would be more than happy to come for you. Being naked and unprepared is not a fun thought. So Mickey saves his showers for when he is sure his alone becauze like hell he is trusting that flimsy lock on the door (if there even is one cause Svetlana just walks in with a hammer on Ian)

Sure maybe once Ian comes along that is more incentive to be clean and presentable but I think he really starts to be clean is season 4 onwards where he knows and admits how much Ian means to him and that he loves him, no longer has go pretend to be into girls (his out or he has the excuse of his married) but also when his dad is in jail and maybe the bills are getting paid, maybe he feels safer in the house.

I just hate the common thinking of, that person is unclean because they don't care. That is rarely the real reason in my experience.

[abrisaber]

A long post about the establishing and foreshadowing of Blitzo's character in Helluva Boss (and a Stolitz rant)

A lot of people tend to criticize character development in Helluva Boss, So I wanted to discuss the development that HB gets right, which is that of its main character, Blitzo. Firstly I want to lay out every instance of Blitzo getting some form of development or foreshadowing.

S1; EP2- Loo Loo Land.

This is only one line but it's still important to point out because 1, It shows how Blitzo thinks of Fizzarolli, and 2, It foreshadows Blitzos history with him and his (maybe) first failed relationship with someone close to him.

There's also this line where Robo asks "Does anybody love you" and Blitzo responds with "No." While this was clearly a joke, I think Blitz genuinely believes nobody loves him. He scratches his face out in photos and says "I'm going to die alone aren't I,' So he very clearly has issues with his self-worth and how he views himself. Maybe this is a punishment he inflicts on himself to remind him that he's a failure and that he doesn't deserve the people in his life

S1; EP3- Spring Broken

This one is clear as day. His relationship with Veronika is at the forefront of this episode. We don't know much about their breakup or what led to it, but it's safe to assume that it was caused by Blitz.

In Ozzies Verosika states Blitzo didn't reciprocate in their relationship, and says he's selfish both in bed and in public. In Spring Broken, she says Blitzo didn't do his job well as a bodyguard and explains how Blitzo dumped her by leaving and stealing from her.

This is the first real glimpse at how Blitzo has ruined his relationships with people. If my current timeline theory is correct, with Verosika being the last serious relationship Blitzo was in before he started sleeping with Stolas, his breakup with Verosika could've been one of the first instances in his life where he pushed someone close to him away out of fear. My theory is that Verosika was a fallback after his relationships with Fizzarolli and Barbie Wire ended on bad terms, and that's why he never truly treated her right when they were together.

S1; EP5- The Harvest Moon Festival.

This one delves more into Blitzo's views of himself rather than his relationships, but it does become important on that front too since in Truth Seekers, this is flipped to reflect how his self-worth affects his willingness to be with people.

S1; EP6- Truth Seekers is going to be a long one because of how much is said and shown during Blitzos hallucinations.

S1; EP6- Truth Seekers

Firstly, what "Moxxie," says is telling because this is Blitzo's own brain explaining his character flaws to him through someone who he constantly belittles.

Blitzo responds with "I don't need you," which obviously isn't true due to how often he fucks up and leaves things to Moxxie and Millie (Which is what fake Moxxie says)

Striker saying "But you don't want to do things alone" is his mind using striker, the person who confronted him about his self-worth, to say he doesn't want to be alone.

I don't know if this was an intentional decision but it's indirectly using a figure that shows he views himself lowly as an explanation for why he pushes people away despite not wanting to. It's basically saying "You want to become better, you don't want to be alone, but you think you're undeserving so you push everyone away from you."

Moving to fake Fizzarolli, again this section will be longer since I have a lot more to say.

Fizzarolli's design is something I theorize a lot about, mainly because the other two renditions look pretty close to their real counterparts, but Fizz is cartoonish and sort of looks like rubberhose-style animation. I think this style was chosen to represent how long it's been since Blitzo and Fizzarolli have been friends.

Another thing about his design is the heart on his forehead. I don't think it was just to make it look simpler because the design is already pretty plain. I think this is supposed to show that Fizz and Blitzo had a romantic relationship that ended poorly.

I don't know when this SS from the 2022 trailer is supposed to take place in univ. The trailer was released after "Ozzies" so it could be a shot in the present in the upcoming S2 EP6, but I don't know if Blitzo would allow this to happen after what happened at Ozzies, not unless he has (or had) a major soft spot for Fizzarollli. Fizzarolli's language in Ozzies suggests he hasn't seen him or heard from him in a while (he says "That Blitzo? So you're showing your face?")

Of course, this was just a setup to make fun of him for his keychain so It could be from after Ozzies, but this is just a clip from a trailer so It's not going to be a clear answer until we get the episode it's from.

Finally moving on to Verosika, the heart on her cheek is now broken as well, and her makeup is smeared. This design of her is showing how upset and hurt she is, and how bitter it's made her.

Lastly, moving to Stolas and the ending of the trip,

I believe these chains removing the weird goop is meant to represent how he views his relationship with Stolas. The goo represents his past problems and flaws, and Stolas is someone who can help him deal with that. But the chains are his fears and flaws negatively effecting him.

Stolitz Rant Incoming

I see people use this as a reason to say Blitzo doesn't like Stolas and doesn't want to be with him, yet no one points out how Blitzo was the one to crawl towards him, granted it was to escape from his past, but he still made the choice to go forward.

Stolitz discourse is something that always divides people. On one hand, people say Blitzo is manipulating Stolas by pretending to want to fuck him just for his book, and on the other, people say Stolas is harassing Blitz by not taking the hint. These arguments aren't too far off, but there isn't any INTENTIONAL manipulation.

Blitzo does care about Stolas. This isnt something that just happened suddenly, the show is trying to establish how he feels about Stolas, yet there's always a crowd that says "Where did this come from? Why is this the first time we're seeing this?" as if thats not how shows work.

This is the first we're seeing of Blitzos true feelings because this is the ESTABLISHING period of the show. There haven't been any more indicators because there wasn't any show before this. Sure you can make the argument that there were more opportunities to put more ground beneath this story but you cant then fault the show for trying to establish ground AT ALL. It's like not studying for a test and crying when you fail.

Blitzo is uncomfortable because he's currently in turmoil. For years he's been in a constant shit storm of pushing his loved ones away and isolating himself from them until he's left alone. And now it's coming back to bite him in the ass because he doesn't realize how badly hes hurt people. It took hallucinatory drugs and a musical number to get him to see that he's truly hurt the people he loves and that he has a trail of bitter and angry exes.

Stolas is just the one who's made him understand what intimacy means to him, and why he's afraid to have that. He WANTS to be with Stolas, but years and years of isolation have left him afraid of a new partner.

It's why he stalks M&M, its why he looks for Barbie, its why he pours so much love into Loona. He's looking for a way out of his cycle of pain.

In Stolas's defense, he's just doing what he thinks Blitzo would like. The texts in Western Energy show that Stolas is genuinely trying to make an effort to make their relationship less transactional, and Blitzo isn't reciprocating at all (something we know he's done before).

I'm closing this off now because I don't want this Stolitz rant to drag on but I will return to this with more on Stolas's behalf. This post was mainly about Blitzo and his character.

In conclusion, I think that #HelluvaBoss deserves a lot more credit than its given. Stolitz is a toxic relationship, but it's only toxic because Stolas and Blitzo have major character flaws that prevent them from having a healthy relationship. And that doen'yt make them evil people. Theres no real malice or abuse, just misunderstanding that lead to toxicity and no comunication.