#(this whole post & tags are /positive /affectionate)

[verdantglow]

“They’re idiots, your honor.”

- me, completely delighted, to my roommate immediately after watching Etho & Joel interact in Joel’s HC10E6

[orchid-merryweather]

Just finished reading the book Vessel by Samantha Jo and I am going clinically insane

[azullumi]

oooh if you're looking for requests I'd love to see some soft Kaveh fluff !!!! He's a huge cutie and I adore him <3

summary — but love is still love, no matter how small the gesture is, no matter how silent the moment is. affection and tenderness lingers behind every action and words spoken

characters — kaveh, tighnari, ayato (w/ gender neutral reader)

tags — fluff, established relationship; scenarios

words — 1100+

note — hii! here is your request though i mixed in other characters in it instead of having a separate post for it! ^^ i hope you don't mind. this is actually also part 2 of 'in simple moments, in small acts of love' <33 i hope you like it!

KAVEH

whispering and murmuring against your skin

“kaveh…” you murmured out his name and you couldn’t contain the smile on your lips, feeling ticklish with the way his breath is fanning against the skin of your neck while he murmurs a ton of affectionate words and sweet nothings. 

"you're so loveable…" laughter coarsed throughout the air as you feel his hands caress your waist up and down, him leaning down closer to you—you were situated on the seat as he stood in front of you, bent down to your level—feeling your warmth against his.

"so so beautiful…" his lips trails up from your neck to your jaw, tracing it and leaving kisses on the way, as it arrives on your face, peppering it with love.

"adorable…" you rest your hands against his chest, lightly pushing him away but your strength wasn't enough to even make him budge.

"did you know that i love you so much?" he whispered against your ear, his caress lingering a little while on the side of your face.

"hm? of course, i do."

you respond, confusion lacing your tone as you knitted your eyebrows for a moment before relaxing your features. you know even if he'll never tell you, you'll know. through his actions, with the way he makes you your favorite cup of drink every morning and has your favorites memorized in his head and through his words, the reassurance he gives you and how he never fails to say he loves you in every moment that he can, he tells you of his feelings.

"well, i don't think so." he doesn't think that your skin has heard enough of his confessions nor your ears have listened to every word of his affection and even if it did, he doesn't think it's enough. it has to be loud and clear enough for it to touch your soul and entangle in it, to see marks and traces of his love for you on your body.

he doesn't think you'll ever know how much he loves you. he doesn't think that everything that he has said and done for you is going to be enough to convey every inch of his affection and adoration for you.

TIGHNARI

looking after you when you're sick

"oh, you're awake." he spoke gently upon seeing you rouse up your slumber, trying to sit up your position and he immediately approached to help you. his hand felt cold against you but maybe it was because you have a fever right now and you are feeling warmer than average.

your head was pounding, your face was hot, and your body was feeling sluggish, although compared to your condition earlier before you slept, you were feeling much better. you weren't having a hard time breathing anymore nor your eyes were continuously welling up with tears because it felt like your insides were burning.

it was all because of tighnari who looked after you the whole time, not daring to leave your side even as you slept. he took special care of you, tending to your every being, to the every discomfort and pain that you felt and trying to lessen it.

"how are you feeling?" he asks you in a concerned tone, still holding your hand in his, as he lends you a glass of water to drink in case your throat is hurting and you accept it, taking the glass from his hand, and drinking from it, feeling the liquid soothe your throat from its painful roughness.

"are you feeling better now?" he raises yet another question and this time, you responded by nodding your head and he heaved out a sigh, one that released all of his worries about you that were plaguing and contaminating his mind.

you speak or more like whispered, calling out to him, "nari…"

"hm? what is it, dear?"

"thank you…" it took a lot of strength just to even speak and you were thankful that tighnari had sharp ears.

there was a pause and he smiled, his eyes soft and tender: "it's nothing, i just wish that you'll have a safe and fast recovery." 

he lifts his hand up, resting it against your forehead to try and feel your temperature, staring at your face to admire you—even at this weak state of yours.

“honestly, i wish i could kiss you right now but you’re sick.” he added, seemingly unwittingly as if he didn't think of the consequences of his words.

“oh, your temperature rose.”

KAMISATO AYATO

a hug after a long day of work

you stood at the courtyard of your home, admiring the scenery of the ocean before you as you watched the sun slowly go down and disappear from the horizon for the darkness of the moon to replace its light.

the moment itself was peaceful but you couldn't help feeling the loneliness creeping up on you even when there were servants—only a few—around you, accomplishing the responsibilities assigned to them. perhaps it was because you have no one to talk to or maybe you just want to see a certain someone who is currently busy with their own affairs and duties.

and it was as if the gods had peered down on you and granted your prayers, you felt a pair of strong arms wrap around your waist, hugging you from the behind and even with just the strong sophisticated scent of vanilla alone, you could tell who it was.

“hi sweetheart… i missed you so much.”

"ayato?" you called out, turning around to face him while keeping his embrace on you. you were greeted by the sweet smile plastered on his face and his loving gaze on you. exhaustion tarnished his expression and it was clear that he just came back from his work.

"yes, love?"

despite the fatigue that sullied his skin, he still looks so handsome and good-looking. you reached your hand out to stroke his cheek, trying to easen his expression and lessen the stress that he was feeling. 

"nothing, i missed you also."

you wish you could help him, to lessen his burdens, and everything but you can't. the only thing that you can do for him is to just comfort him with your touches and be there for him but he lets you know, he lets you know every single time how thankful he is to have you, to have your caresses console the languor of his being, and soothe his worries and problems away as if it never existed in the first place—just like the moment you two are sharing right now.

he pulls you closer to him, embracing you tightly as he buries his face on the crook where your shoulder meets your neck.

"let's stay like this for a while please."

© azullumi — do not plagiarize, copy, repost, nor translate any of my works.

[thlayli-ra]

🥤 🔪 🪲 🐝

Hello Anon!

🥤 - Recommend an author or fanfic you love;

First one that immediately comes to mine is the wonderful @stripeydani and their incredible fic Ginger and Lime which they wrote for me! It's so hot!!! And I absolutely adored their characterisation of LA Knight - he's such a wonderfully cocky little sub who'll willingly be taken down a peg or two. Everybody, please go read and tell Dani how amazing they are!

I have also currently obsessed by Dastiel4ever's fic Simply for Fun but Certainly not for Revenge - it's just good old fashioned whump! A bunch of wrestlers get kidnapped and tormented - it's all I need in life! Especially when all of my favs are involved! 😈

🔪 - What's the weirdest topic you've researched for a writing project?

Recently, it was German dog commands (tee hee) but I've also had to research what medieval people eat for breakfast - fun fact, they don't!

🪲 - Add 50 words to your current wip and share the paragraph here;

Ok dokey, here's a tiny snippet I've just added to the epilogue of Stray:

Punk was staring out the coffee shop window, chewing on his thumbnail when Joe came back from the counter with their order; two large cups of coffee and a piece of pie. 'This to share?' Punk's eyes lit up at the sweet treat.

'Course not,' Joe shook his head wryly. 'It's all yours. A little 'farewell treat' from me.'

🐝 - tag your biggest supporter(s) and say one nice thing about them;

AAGHH!!! I have soooo many!!!! But here goes!

@selamat-linting - the only blog I regularly stalk for updates because he always posts interesting things. My fellow PDS sufferer and vampire au appreciator, her comments fill my life with so much joy!

@stripeydani - hello again Dani! I reckon we would be great friends irl and go to wrestling shows together and wax lyrical about our respective favs and what we're currently writing about them!

@seasonal-depression-of-punk - I adore your art, your fics, your twisted mind! I always love it when you reblog from me with your affectionate ramblings

@d-lanx - A looooongtime sufferer of PDS - I salute you and always enjoy your Punk post-dumps!

@blowflyfag - All of my fellow Yeah! girlies (ng) mean so much to me, but you're probably my favourite!

@elementaldoughnut12 - my own little magpie, leaving me shiny gifts in my inbox every day. Your fics inspire me so much (I want to draw something for all of them and I will one day!)

@afterdarkprincess - I just fucking love your Punkintyre fics so damn much!!!!!!!!!!! So!!!! Damn!!!!! Much!!!!!!!!

@tache-noire - Most of the time you just scream at my posts and I will never not appreciate it! ❤️

I'm positive I'm missing a whole bunch of you (there's also the mutuals I'm a little in awe of and intimidated by because they're so cool - looking at you @dilf-in-peril @pepsi-maxwell @realworldchamp and @are-we-really-doing-this )

And, of course, the lurkers who go on 'like-and-reblog' sprees, so that I wake up in the morning to dozens of notifications, including but not limited to; @ramblingenzyme @xxrabiesxx @milesworld96 @wammbam @unrealunearth honestly there's too many to name but please know I appreciate you all! 😘

[thighzp]

Sentence Sunday!!! tagged this week by @firstprincehornyramblings & @sophie1973

Y'all were no help (affectionate) because scotty doesn't know and vampire alex tied on the poll. But I felt like writing a little bit more of the vampire alex scene where henry is... kidnapped? held hostage? guess we'll find out eventually...

As if reading Henry’s mind, the man confirmed, “Earlier tonight, at the party. You don’t remember?” Henry wracked his brain. He remembered he felt trapped. Suffocated. Needed fresh air. Then someone followed him out the front door and… “It was you,” Henry looked up from his bound position. “You followed me after the party! Are you stalking me or something? Did you… did you violate me?” Henry squirmed in the chair. “Violate you,” the man scoffed. “Not in the way you’re thinking.” With utter wide-eyed shock, Henry exclaimed, “What other way is there?”

i will continue to rely on sundays and wednesdays to write this whole fic lmfao

sorry if I tagged you and you've already posted today! been busy

@tailsbeth-writes @caterpills @catdadacd @judasofsuburbia @pinkamour1588

@taste-thewaste @onthewaytosomewhere @porcelainmortal @starrypiscesao3 @kiwiana-writes

[cottoncandyafterdark]

Dr Stone Headcanons - Ryusui SFW Alphabet

Tags: SFW, fluff, headcanons, alphabet meme

Warnings: None

Notes: Originally posted on ao3 here

A: Affection (How affectionate are they with a s/o?)

Very. He isn't the least bit shy about showing affection, there WILL be hugs, kisses and cuddles whenever you're together. He has no reservations about PDA either, if you guys don't have a reputation as the most obnoxiously affectionate couple in the Kingdom of Science you aren't doing it right.

B: Breath (What can their s/o do to take their breath away)

Smile. Laugh. Look at him with love in your eyes and kiss him on the cheek. Just stand there and keep being absolutely beautiful. He's pretty easy in that regard.

C: Cuddle (Do they cuddle? If they do, how and when do they cuddle?)

Heck yes he cuddles. He likes to cuddle when you're falling asleep together, and any time you're just chilling together. He likes spooning, and he prefers to be the big spoon.

D: Dream (What do they dream of doing with their s/o?)

He wants to see the world, and he wants you by his side the whole time.

E: Effort (How much effort do they put into a relationship?)

At this point in his life, with all the prior relationship experience he has, it comes pretty naturally to him at this point. He does, however, put more effort into the relationship than you'll probably even notice unless you're looking for it.

F: Fear (What do they do if their s/o is scared? How do they handle it?)

If it's something physical scaring you, step one is to get you away from whatever that is (related note, Ryusui is definitely the guy to go to if you need a spider killed). Step two is lots of cuddles until you've calmed down and feel better.

G: Gifts (What type of gifts do they give their s/o? Do they want a gift in return?)

Ryusui is the best at gift-giving and it's one of the main ways he shows his love. This would be most prominent in a modern setting, when he had enough money to buy pretty much anything without putting a dent in his bank account, but even in the stone world, he'll manage to find you good gifts.

H: Hugs (Do they hug their s/o? How often?)

Ryusui gives bone-crushingly tight hugs, whenever the opportunity presents itself. He loves having you in his arms and pressed against him, after all. Whether or not you can breath in this position is irrelevant.

I: Intimacy (How romantic are they? Do they have problems with intimacy?)

Very romantic. He always seems to know just what to say, and what to do to make you feel incredibly loved and sweep you off your feet- figuratively and literally, no one ever talks about how jacked Ryusui is but going by appearances he's definitely strong enough to literally lift you off your feet.

J: Jealous (Do they get jealous? How do they act when jealous?)

Not in the slightest, surprisingly enough. It's tempting to think he would be possessive because of his general attitude but monogamy has never really been his thing and it would be unfair to hold you to a different standard. Somebody flirting with you or even you flirting with somebody else doesn't bother him too much unless the other person is being disrespectful in which case he'd intervene if you needed him to. He'd also be comfortable in an open or poly relationship, so if that was something you wanted, he'd be all in.

K: Kiss (Are they a good kisser? Do they like to kiss? How often do they try to kiss you?)

He is an amazing kisser, oh my god. His kisses will absolutely take your breath away, and he loves to kiss you. It's one of his favorite ways to show you affection, to hold you close and kiss you with a gentle passion while running his fingers through your hair and it's just perfect.

L: Love (When do they say they love you? How often do they say it? Do they prefer to say it or show it?)

He has absolutely no hesitation whatsoever about telling you he loves you. Doesn't even wait until later in the relationship when most people would consider it "appropriate" to tell you. Why should he bother with that when he does, in fact, love you already?

M: Marriage (Do they want to get married? If so, what kind of ceremony?)

For as loving and romantic as he is, he takes some time to warm up to the idea of marriage. He's not entirely opposed to it or anything, he's just never been too keen on the idea of fully tying himself down to loving one person for the rest of his life- but after being with you long enough, he could change his mind. He'd like to get married to you at sea, and he would want all of your friends to be there. He'd accept nothing less than an absolutely lavish ceremony and reception, too, nothing but the finest of things for HIS spouse!

N: Night out (What type of dates do they like to go on? How often do they like to go on them?)

Before the petrification, his dates usually consisted of taking his partner out to a nice part of whichever city he found himself in and taking them to dinner, then wandering around window shopping and whatever else they felt like. In the Stone World, he would try to recreate the experience as best as he could, but it obviously wouldn't be quite the same. If you have any better date ideas, he'd be more than happy to go along with them.

O: Out of the Ordinary (What’s something they don’t normally do for/with their s/o?)

We all know Ryusui is greedy, and he's not going to temper that part of himself for you. If you're super into minimalism or really fervently anti-capitalist or something that would likely end up as a serious point of contention in the relationship.

P: Playful (Are they playful in a relationship? If so, how do they play around/mess with their s/o?)

Ryusui likes to start tickle fights, especially when you're feeling a little down and he thinks you could use a laugh.

Q: Questions (Do they ask their s/o their opinion on things? Do they share theirs?)

Your opinion is very important to him, but he doesn't always think to ask you for it. He'd like it if you would just tell him your thoughts and he'll take them into consideration as much as he can- he'll do the same thing, and expect the same level of respect for his opinions.

R: Random (How spontaneous is their relationship? Do they do things on the spot or plan ahead?)

He's pretty spontaneous when it comes to matters of romance. He plans dates and stuff ahead a little, but it's never more planned out than "We'll go out tonight", whatever you end up doing while you're out is up to wherever your whims take you.

S: Sleep (How do they sleep with their s/o?)

He likes to sleep holding you, and/or with you resting your head on his chest, basically using him as a pillow. As always, he is the big spoon.

T: Trust (How much do they trust their s/o?)

He has a lot of trust in all his friends, but that goes double for you as the person closest to him. He knows he can count on you to have his back, and you can say the same for him.

U: Unique (What makes them unique as a s/o?)

The fact that he was quite rich pre-petrification, is fully planning on regaining that wealth and has a butler has gotta count for something. Like, this is a guy who can give you the good life.

V: Vulnerable (How long until they can be vulnerable around their s/o? What are they like in this state?)

I think it takes a while. That's a side of himself Ryusui doesn't show often. But everybody feels sad, or maybe just tired sometimes and eventually he's going to let you see that in him. When he's in that state, I think he's just temporarily a lot more subdued and quiet than usual, and he just needs you to stay with him for a while, you don't need to talk about it, he just wants you there. It doesn't take him very long to get back to normal.

W: Wild Card (Random domestic headcanon)

A big thing about dating Ryusui is that you're also going to have to get used to Francois. It could feel a little awkward at first, because, well, do you know the proper way to interact with your boyfriend's butler? I certainly don't. But don't worry too much, because Francois likes you just just fine, and they totally shipped you and Ryusui before y'all got together anyways

X: X-Ray (What would they do if their s/o got injured?)

He'd take you to Senku or whoever the most knowledgable medic nearby is in the immediate aftermath and then hover around while they're trying to help you. Later on, he'd do whatever he could to help you recover as fully and quickly as possible… and probably bother the medics a little more asking if there's anything else he can do to help you out.

Y: Yuck (Do they have any pet peeves about their s/o? Are there any habits that might bother their s/o?)

He would get pretty annoyed if you were ever needlessly mean to other people, otherwise there's not much you can do that would bug him too much. Something that might bother you if you're the jealous type is that he won't immediately stop openly finding other people attractive. Like, he wouldn't do anything with anyone else unless you were okay with it, but he still might admire and compliment others' appearances.

Z: Zeal (Are they passionate as a s/o? Do they want or like passion?)

100% yes, he is a very passionate lover, and with the level of affection and all the ways he says and shows that he loves you, you won't be able to doubt it for a second.

[ohgaylor]

IT MUST BE EXHAUSTING (AN ANALYSIS)

Hi. Taylor’s the problem. And she knows it. (affectionate)

All right friends. It’s time to dive into an analysis again. I’ve been reflecting on a lot of Midnights and Taylor’s ever-present self-deprecation this era and in my regular fashion, I had to make an extremely long-winded analysis post about a certain motif of hers that I’ve noticed has only grown more apparent this time around. and essentially that is her self-awareness toward her ever-ambiguous signaling in regard to her identity, and where she is positioned in the complicated and delicate journey of coming out, as well as the plethora of emotions that surround that for both herself and her fans and those of us who pick up on the queer coded subtext of her music and art.

to kick off this analysis, may I remind you of this beauty of a quote from Taylor’s 2018 reputation tour pride speech that prefaced Delicate?

I want to send my love and respect to everybody who in their journey and in their life hasn't yet felt comfortable enough to come out ... and may you do that on your own time and may we end up with a world where everyone can live and love equally and no one has to be afraid to say how they feel. When it comes to feelings and when it comes to love and searching for someone to spend your whole life with, it’s all just really really delicate.

That is quite possibly my favorite thing she’s ever said. and what inspired this tag.

Now I need to clarify up front — I am never insinuating a need or even desire for Taylor to come out. Because that’s not our place to say. If you’ve been around my blog long enough, I would hope that nuance would be apparent. I simply point out regular motifs and patterns within her art and how it correlates with queer-coded themes of closets, of almost coming out, of outright queer coding, of rainbows, of keeping a love secret and safe, and on and on and on. The signs are there if you know what to look for (re: “I gave so many signs”) and that’s what I explore on my blog. The point is, I will never demand she come out. But I will stand with her in this complex journey she appears to be on. It’s entirely her journey and however she wishes to navigate that is hers to decide.

but that doesn’t detract from the reality that for those of us who see this beautiful queer subtext of her art and music and visuals and work and self, the ambiguity and constant back-and-forth when it comes to her identity (and the idea of coming out) can in fact be a lot to try and process and understand and ultimately to reconcile as we root for her. Trying to understand where she stands is much like chasing a moving target. (not that she owes any explanation to us, because again, she doesn’t.) her art and creativity are her place of expression and catharsis. however, watching her navigate these complexities and trying to root for her in this sometimes messy space is also, dare I say, exhausting.

hence, the title and general theme of this analysis.

so let’s begin.

First, we have this verse in Anti-Hero which is the perfect setup to illustrate this specific motif,

I should not be left to my own devices They come with prices and vices I end up in crises Tale as old as time

This is essentially the thesis of Taylor’s message, the feeling that her own judgement and actions might be the very cause for certain crises she finds herself in, however enticing those vices and choices may be. In choosing to straddle a glass-closeted lifestyle as an artist at her status and level of fame, all the while heavily queer-coding to her (receptive) audiences, only to be seen by most others as the hallmark of straight women as per her highly publicized bearding, juggling this all can be overwhelming. But it’s also a space that she has essentially curated and perpetuated herself.

An anti-hero is a central character in a narrative who conspicuously lacks heroic, moral qualities:

Although antiheroes may sometimes perform actions that are morally correct, it is not always for the right reasons, often acting primarily out of self-interest or in ways that defy conventional ethical codes.

Identifying herself as the anti-hero in this sense comes as a candid confession, as though she is admitting that maybe she is driven by self-interest. (which again, she is entitled to as we all are in our own lives.) (re: the jokes weren’t funny, I took the money, my friends at home don’t know what to say) Alternatively, and perhaps additionally, acting out of self-interest in this context may mean concealment of parts of her identity for the sake of self-preservation. The nuances behind why she hasn’t chosen to come out are at play here and I doubt any of us can fully comprehend what that is exactly.

I never had the courage of my convictions, as long as danger is near

Pouring out my heart to a stranger but I didn’t pour the whiskey

Combat, I'm ready for combat. I say I don't want that, but what if I do? 'Cause cruelty wins in the movies. I've got a hundred thrown-out speeches I almost said to you … Dark side, I search for your dark side. But what if I'm alright, right, right, right here?

You can easily grasp the intense oscillation as she goes back and forth between these decisions while juggling a myriad of reasons and factors, all of which are incredibly weighted. She knows it’s exhausting for us because it’s that much more exhausting for herself.

So, she elects to pursue a route all too familiar to closeted individuals in the public eye, one of bearding and concealing their identity.

I had some tricks up my sleeve … Perched in the dark, telling all the rich folks anything they wanna hear, like it could be love, I could be the way forward, only if they pay for it … the skeletons in both our closets plotted hard to fuck this up

I took the money. My friends from home don't know what to say.

The cost at which this lifestyle comes is worthy of an analysis all on its own. But Taylor seems to be indicating that she has found safety and security in her self-made cages and closets of sorts.

I prefer hiding in plain sight

‘Cause shade never made anybody less gay

If the shoe fits, walk in it 'til your high heels break

My town was a wasteland, full of cages, full of fences*, pageant queens and big pretenders. But for some, it was paradise.

In the darkest little paradise

(also, note the *fences. I’ll come back to that later.)

She brings focus to the fact that her town was full of cages and fences, which initially may carry a negative connotation. But here’s where she turns it around and says that for some, it was place of paradise, that the self-made cages brought security and freedom. That the idea of “forever” is in fact the sweetest con. That the good life she was hustling for through the tricks she had up her sleeve is within grasp. That this could be the way forward. Tell me that doesn’t scream a queer-coded experience?

But knowing Taylor and the complicated nature of this deeply personal topic, there is also a level of remorse regarding the said-cages and choices that had put her in crisis.

I cut off my nose just to spite my face, then hate my reflection for years and years

I’ve got a hundred thrown out speeches I almost said to you

I’d pay if you’d just know me

Now, despite the way she has managed to remain glass-closeted, a large subset of her fans and the general public completely miss what she is signaling in regard to her queerness. (re: “I gave so many signs / you didn’t even see the signs”) but it appears she is feeling some remorse for the devices she’s used and the way she’s navigated things because she knows that she’ll be the one paying for it.

So again, Taylor fully acknowledges she’s the problem. She endlessly dances around the topic, sometimes to an extreme (re: “bent the truth too far tonight,” Bettygate and specifying a male perspective despite widespread interpretation of the alternative; similar thing with Lavendergate, etc etc) She writes from “male perspectives” so as to have a way to write female pronouns. She uses pseudonyms for similar motives. She equates herself with gay pride and places herself adjacent to the community repeatedly, and dances in Gaylor Park and rainbow kaleidoscopes. She dresses in rainbow attire and gives speeches emphasizing the delicacy of coming out and on and on, all while also remaining straight-passing. It’s complicated and messy and indeed exhausting.

sending signals to be double-crossed

I’ll stare directly at the sun but never in the mirror. It must be exhausting always rooting for the anti-hero

no doubt these devices and choices have come at a cost. first, the personal cost of remaining closeted (or in the very least, glass closeted) by her own making. The nature by which she has driven her career, of “taking the money” and pursuing a career (and by extension, following heteronormative cultural standards of remaining closeted), all point to the self-made cages she twists in.

recall the Delicate pride speech…

I want to send my love and respect to everybody who in their journey and in their life hasn't yet felt comfortable enough to come out ... and may you do that on your own time

That is a major theme for her. The idea that through a closeted state, certain freedoms can coexist.

We know Taylor has made a point to emphasize the comfort she has found in keeping elements of her life to herself post her apocalyptic summer. And the way she has largely receded her personal life from the public eye is telling. In an effort to protect the “real stuff”, she is withholding from others and has found safety in that.

Privacy sign on the door and on my page and on the whole world, romance is not dead if you keep it just yours.

She knows it’s not always a world that some would choose to be a part of. She describes it as a wasteland, likely desolate, harkening back to cowboy like me. A place where hustling for the good life, perching in the dark as con artists (or pageant queens and big pretenders) and telling all the rich folks anything they want to hear like “it could be love” is all too familiar.

It’s a painful dichotomy she fully explores in The Archer, recognizing that maybe it’s her lot in life to straddle these lines of staying where she is, perched in the dark, while wanting to step into the daylight and let it go.

and that’s where the second cost comes in — in how those of us who see her for what she is signaling herself to be, are ultimately left to ourselves to make sense of it.

It’s the same kind of essence of this fantastic analysis regarding coney island and her apology of not making us certain subsets of her fans and communities her centerfold.

Being left to her own devices, she has ultimately crafted a duplicitous persona, of which she has spoken about specifically when discussing mirrorball…

Everybody else feels like they have to be on for certain people. You have to be different versions of yourself for different people. Different versions at work, different versions around friends, different versions of yourself around different friends. Different version of yourself around family. Everybody has to be duplicitous, or feels that they have to in some ways, be duplicitous. And that’s part of the human experience, but it’s also exhausting. You kind of learn that every one of us has the ability to become a shape-shifter. But what does that do to us?

Is it self-preservation? Or self-made self-destruction? (re: “they told me all of my cages were mental” “what a shame she’s fucked in the head” “lost in the labyrinth of my mind”)

Among the various anxieties that plague her in regard to this subject, Taylor makes one fear very clear. And that is for some inevitable day where we will leave her after we’ve had enough of “her scheming”.

'Cause they see right through me, they see right through me, they see right through. Can you see right through me?

I wake up screaming from dreaming One day I'll watch as you're leaving 'Cause you got tired of my scheming For the last time

These desperate prayers of a cursed man spilling out to you for free, but darling, darling, please, you wouldn't take my word for it if you knew who was talking if you knew where I was walking

Will you forgive my soul when you're too wise to trust me and too old to care?

She will get as close as she can to the topic, (“Gay pride… everything that makes me me!” to name just one) only to pull back or leave it ambiguous and devoid of clarity…

I'll stare directly at the sun but never in the mirror

And I cut off my nose just to spite my face Then I hate my reflection for years and years

…only to feel guilt for skirting around the topic…

You said I was freeloading … I bent the truth too far tonight, I was dancing around, dancing around it … Your picket fence is sharp as knives, I was dancing around, dancing around it

This to me is the a significant price that comes from her being left to her own devices. Yes, there is freedom that comes from closeting/bearding. But glass closeting brings a more painful mess of emotions for both the closet-er and those seeing it for what it is. This is what she addresses in Anti-Hero with painful clarity.

And sometimes this can come at a painful cost. Take YNTCD for example. In this video, she positions herself within the queer community, dancing in Gaylor Park, and boldly declares herself an advocate for LGBTQIA rights.

But as we know, the video was met by many as out-of-touch (re: “freeloading”), performative and whatever else critics were spewing.

motion capture put me in a bad light. I replay my footsteps on each stepping stone, trying to find the one where I went wrong. writing letters addressed to the fire

Now for a detour.

I want to talk about the purple / blue / lavender glitter for a minute. Here, in the Directors on Directors interview, Taylor describes the glitter as being a metaphor for herself...

It’s supposed to be a metaphor for like, I bleed glitter, I’m not normal, there’s something wrong with me, I’m not a person, I don’t belong, I don’t fit in anywhere.

Recall how I said chasing a moving target?

Let’s talk about the significance of this scene and a handful of others in terms of the lavender glitter.

[For some queer context regarding glitter]

I’d first like to point out Hayley Kiyoko’s purple glitter jacket above, from the YNTCD video. This is Hayley Kiyoko we’re talking about. The proclaimed Lesbian Jesus. And in this moment, while she is wearing the purple glitter jacket, she is aiming an arrow at a target, signifying The Archer. This moment is key.

And then you have the Miss Americana documentary, wherein Taylor explicitly equates herself with gay pride, while talking about the Me! music video.

It’s a line of dialogue that screams at me with such intensity. Irrefutable. As a film editor, I know that every line in a film is deliberately placed and thought out and meticulously addressed. And therefore we can trust that Taylor intended for this line to make it into the film. I can tell that surrounding dialogue is seemingly trimmed and crafted in a delicate way. And part of that is the very direct statement that “Gay pride…everything that makes me, me!”

And it’s within this music video that we again witness a massive “ME!” literally jumping out at us on screen, in none other than purple glitter.

A handful of others could sense that the conclusion of Miss Americana felt as thought it was headed in a different direction than the one it ultimately took. And that for whatever reason, Taylor’s political advocacy took center stage while a deeper analysis regarding her LGBTQIA advocacy did not.

Cut back to the Anti-Hero music video where we get The Archer aiming right for Taylor, and striking her, causing her to bleed, yet again, purple glitter.

Pierced through the heart but never killed… did you hear my covert narcissism I disguise as altruism, like some kind of congressman

My covert (secret) narcissism (ME!) I disguise as altruism like some kind of congressman (the political turn and advocacy present in Miss Americana)

In other words, covering up who she is (“gay pride… everything that makes me me!”) under the guise of a film almost exclusively focused on her journey of discovering her political (“Vote for me for everything” pin) activist voice. And what scene depicts this with near precision???

this one.

motion capture put me in a bad light. I replay my footsteps on each stepping stone, trying to find the one where I went wrong. writing letters addressed to the fire

'cause cruelty wins in the movies, I've got a hundred thrown-out speeches I almost said to you

The subsequent look on her face of absentminded agony says it all. She knows the confusion that comes from rooting for her as (especially if she is seen as an ally who maybe crosses one too many lines if presumably as straight.)

The inner-turmoil on display for us in The Archer has transformed into a tone all too exhausted in its own right within Anti-Hero. She knows we’re tired. She’s tired too. In a self-deprecating jab, she admits that she is the problem and she knows that everybody ultimately agrees with her on this. Shielded within a pop anthem, her vulnerability is on display. And so, in Dear Reader, with equal parts desperation as well as wit, she concludes…

You should find another guiding light, guiding light. But I shine so bright.

And so it is ultimately within this utterly messy, exhausting, complicated, ever-changing and nuanced journey that Taylor reaches out to those of us who do in fact see through her and who ultimately simply see her, that she asks us in all sincerity…

Who could stay? Who could stay? Who could stay? You could stay.

And I, for one, will stay.

[enjoy my other analyses here]

[becauseanders]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Spread the self-love ❤️

ahhh hi thank you! (finally answering this!) 🖤

It Took the Night to Believe: chapterfic, complete, 100k. dragon age ii, anders/male hawke. pacific rim au. i am honestly really fucking proud of this fic, like i thought it was great even though it didn't do super well kudos-wise and i did notice that i definitely did lose readers as it went on. i truly have no idea why, this fic is fucking great. it's got angst, it's got comfort, it's got near death experiences, it's got fluff, it's got kaiju—what's not to love??

No Wound as Sharp as the Will of God: chapterfic, complete, 99k. dragon age ii, anders/female hawke. canonverse, post-da2. it took me seven years to post a second chapter of this and a total of eight years to finish it, and the whole time i was writing it after i picked it up again i was so unsure of it, but turns out i really like it. very heavy content, please do mind the tags. takes place while hawke is with the inquisition. anders positive, justice positive. a very intense, very deep, very affectionate friendship between anders and fenris is an extremely important part of the story. like, seriously, the platonic fenders is just as important as the romantic handers. a lot of angst, like so much angst, but the hurt/comfort is real. the b-plot pertains to my theory that justice cures anders of the taint. cole is there. the emotions are high and you can feel them strongly in the writing. again, be careful, but this is a good fic.

A Thing With Feathers Now, Elevate: one shot, 11k. dragon age: origins, alistair/female amell. canonverse, takes place over the course of da:o. this fic is a fucking masterpiece. another that didn't do well numbers-wise but this is easily one of the absolute best things i've ever written and is quite possibly one of the best fics on ao3. i am so fucking proud of this one. the prose, the metaphors, the handling of trauma, the found family—this one deserved way more love than it got. like, i'm serious, this fic is amazing.

It Means Tumult: chapterfic, wip, 349k (yes, you read that right). dragon age ii, anders/female hawke. modern au. okay, obviously i've got to mention this one. i have been working on this fic for eight years and i am very sorry to everyone who saw this go from updating multiple times a week and asking me how the fuck i write so fast to three years without a single update and then i think only one more in the past two years. i'm working on the penultimate chapter, i swear i am, i'm just super stuck right now. this fic is…this fic. i'm not going to lie, i don't really know if this is any longer some of my better writing, but the premise is fucking solid and i have been told more than once that it's clear this is a labor of love and that this is endearing. au where the obvious metaphors are made reality: the circles are psychiatric institutions and being mentally ill is a crime. a lot of angst, but a lot of love. pay no mind to how much better of a character and person aveline is when i write her. i also do admittedly use this fic to deal with my own demons frequently. an andrea gibson poem helped me write one chapter and i later got to tell them about it and they hugged me. this is also very heavily centered on music and has a lengthy soundtrack. please ignore the fact that when i first started writing this i used british english when i typed because i thought it looked better, as i had started doing as a teenager, which tbh i still kind of do but i also realized that's just fucking pretentious to do when you're american, and it was already so long by the time i stopped doing it that there was no way in hell i was going back to editing all of that (as i actually did do with nwasatwog). so that's just the way it is. but yeah, there's a lot of feelings happening here. also the only fic on this list that has an original title instead of song lyrics despite being the one with the most music involved, lol.

Through the Fall and the Feel: chapterfic, wip, 52k. dragon age ii, anders/male hawke. modern au. this is the one i'm working on most right because that's just where the brainworms are. hawke is a teddy bear doctor and anders goes to see him because instead of a pillow from his mother he has a stuffed cat, and she has seen much better days. this fic has a very wholesome premise but has gone into some pretty heavy angst already and i did not mean for eating disorders to be as important to the story as they have become, so be mindful of that. but this fic has a lot of heart and it's absolutely tanking, so if this piques your interest maybe go give it a look? this is also my second foray into m!handers and i am again having fun writing them. but yeah, i actually like this fic a lot and i do recommend it.

[shadamyheadcanons]

Hey, I'm curious: which of the Sonic comics series is your favorite?

I’m still only on issue 43 of IDW, but that one takes the cake so far. Great art, great characterization, interesting plots, heartfelt moments...and it’s hard not to love it as an Amy fan.

I’ve ranted about IDW plenty already, so for this post, I’ll instead focus on my second favorite: Ian Flynn and Tyson Hesse’s Sonic Mega Drive comics. Spoilers under the cut for those comics and a bit of The Murder of Sonic the Hedgehog, though I bet most Shadamy fans have scoured that game already. I’ll be answering the asks I got about it soon.

Mega Drive features classic Sonic, Tails, Amy, and Knuckles. It engages in what I affectionately refer to as “revisionist Amy history.” Amy hardly ever starred in adventurous roles in the nineties when the classic counterparts were in use, save for Sonic the Fighters, but she’s been portrayed recently as if she’s always been a core member of the team who could defend herself to an extent, and I actually love that. Sonic Origins Plus is doing it soon, too, and it’s even more obvious in the Mega Drive comics. The characters are wholesome and lovable, too.

Cute! Cool! Look at how impressed Sonic and Tails are!

Wholesome! Charming!

And my favorite Sonic/Amy dynamic ever. Confirms my headcanon that Amy loves being carried, too; I have a whole tag for that. She’s a smug little shit about it, too.

And it also features something I’ve been seeing more and more of lately: Tails being supportive of Amy and wanting her to be happy, regardless of who she winds up with. He’s up for Sonamy!

He’s up for Shadamy!

Colleen knows her character! When asked in this video whether Shadow and Amy should get together, she says, “I think it’d be great! Because Shadow needs some, y’know...some positivity in his life! And who’s more positive than Amy?” <3

I’m getting off-topic, but I really love how supportive Tails has been toward Amy lately. He’s not Team Sonamy. He’s not Team Shadamy. He’s Team Amy, and that is wonderful.

Anyway, the Mega Drive comics are a gift. Be warned, though: they started under Archie’s ownership, so they’ll sadly never be completed. Two out of the three issues were completed. They’re worth reading, just don’t get too attached :’(

[ashmp3]

It's award season (unconfirmed)! Give some of your mutuals silly little awards.

awww okay sorry for answering late i wanted to sit down and Write It Down. Also sorry to everyone i didnt talk about i love you all for real and i appreciate you being part of ashmp3 nation. Now lets start!

@bewby best cousin award. Seven truly is like my little sister at this point like thats a sibling we just get eachother we followed eachother for such a long time like we went through our teenage years together in a way. love you my bunny girl!!!!! @kurapikasjudgementchain award for putting up with me and being my friend *curtsy*.

@sunuism mutual with the coolest fashion sense for SURE if u havent already u all need to be seated for Ri's fit checks.... @wantbytaemin i would say another cousin award bc sometimes it truly feel like we are so similar on so many levels it just makes me giggle like our grandmothers having the same names thats just insane to me. One of the longest mutuals award and Also best shawol award of course but thats given... @bourgeoix my smart girl mutual you know that post "i have ppl with phd on my dash" yes thats mel to me. when i see your posts talking about either your work or anything really im like THERE SHE ISS i love to see it truly adore it. Also dyke award *everyone cheers*

@seahavaen mutual with hottest sexiest seductive vibes period.

@diamondcrystals best exol award shared with @whitechocolate How are we feeling friends its getting real......

@10281 favorite mutual i made on this blog! hands down. i am grateful svt exists and made us cross paths

@smirnoffgrl my loveliest kaya award for being hottest sweetheart on the whole world and also someone i would love to party with the most out of everyone.. partygirl award

@polaroidlovemp3 friendliest mutual award!!! you are so sweet and cute and i love how we just send eachother posts and tag eachother out of the blue thats literally crucial part of blogging and you get it so well...

@shalalayong BEST TYONGF AWARD! no brainer of course... but i also love when u posts snippets from ur life its so cute Mwah @jeonwonwoo Best insane gifmaker (positive ofc) Zaynab you just get me and thats not an easy thing to do. Congratulations or sorry thats true.... @ayatou Best sweet normal gifmaker (also positive) Ngoc you and Zaynab come together in my mind same coin different sides etc. You are so sweet and friendly and i just love seeing your posts on my dash its an instant re-reblog ...

@mistarover and @jaebeomtual very recent mutuals that both made me feel like we have known eachother for a long time which is always such a nice feeling tbh you both are friendly and talkative and i love that

@pocji mutual with best music taste but also hag mutual (affectionately) we just get eachother I am truly so happy you are still on tumblr... I actually remember following you on my old blog in 2016 and we became mutuals years later and i was GEEKED

@egos and @kitschundschund and for the end my sisters cousins friends from high school etc the shiet we all went through together its just something IRL friends havent gone through LMFAO my favorite girls award !!!!!

[hearttohaato]

Encanto OC Event Week 2

Part 2: Tomás Herrera & Others

(Part 1 Here)

The second half of my OC relationship info post - this'll include some info about Tomás's bonds with my other OCs, as well as those background OCs' relationships with each other and canon characters.

@encanto-extended-edition

Tomás in regards to his natal family:

Tomás is the youngest in a family of four, born to Lucía and Horacio Herrera.

Lucía was a schoolteacher and volunteer in the town library, who passed away when Tomás was still a child. Tomás loved and admired his mother, considering her to have been a saint in life. The memories he has of her are fond ones, recalling her as being a kind woman without a bad word to say about anyone. He thinks highly of her optimism and humility, and her ability to make anyone feel understood and listened to.

Lucía as well as Tomás's older brother, Mateo, are both canonically deceased as per the events of the story the Herrera family is introduced in. This leaves Tomás and his father as the last living of their family within the Encanto.

Horacio used to be a mason, having to retire early due to weakness in his legs. Between this and the loss of his parents, his wife, and eventually his oldest son, Horacio sometimes thinks he's cursed - but his one silver lining is his remaining son, Tomás. Horacio has zero qualms about being openly affectionate with Tomás both physically and verbally, and though he's a little oblivious at times, he only wants the best for his boy. Tomás in turn is a loyal and protective son to Horacio, willing to put up with a little embarrassment if it makes his father happy. It doesn't matter how old Tomás gets, he'll always be his papá's conejito.

Art by cringecanto (right)

It's a bit self-indulgent of me, but I'm of the mind that when Tomás marries into the family, Casita springs up a small in-law suite for Horacio so he won't have to spend his days in an empty house. I also am of the mind that in their youth Horacio and Bruno were quite friendly with each other, due to both more or less being underdogs with not a lot of friends between them.

Horacio likely approached Bruno before his wife's passing, just on the off chance he saw her make a miraculous recovery. That isn't what he saw, of course. But though devastated, Horacio accepted the result with as much grace as he could and didn't blame Bruno or his visions for the bad news.

They ended up losing touch when Bruno became more withdrawn and eventually "left", but upon Bruno's return to society their friendship ends up picking right back up where it left off. When Tomás marries into the family and Horacio tags along, he and Bruno spend a good amount of their time having tea and playing cards as old men tend to do.

The rest under the cut to spare the poor dashboards out there!

The Patch:

The Patch, or El Parche, is the group name I use to refer to Camilo's small group of older friends, including Tomás (as introduced in the previous post). They're childhood friends; as a unit and individually they're all well-liked young men within their peers and the community as a whole, decently popular in different ways. They initially were meant to be unnamed background characters whose designs were pulled from random Encantownies, but I accidentally got attached to them and now they all have proper designs and development. Such is my life.--

Cristián Vargas, Rafael Molina, Santiago Torres, Tomás Herrera

Santiago (22) is the oldest not only of the friend group but of his own siblings, of which he's got 6 younger sisters and brothers. He's the designated 'mom friend' by nature, easily slotting into leadership positions and able to keep a handle on multiple goings-on at once. That said he very much is a mother hen type, a bit fussy and prone to scolding his siblings and friends (usually Rafael) whenever they start steering towards bad decisions.

Tomás and Santi are usually on the same page when it comes to caution and forethought, contrasting with Rafa and Cris's more go-with-the-flow attitudes. Santi's compassionate nature makes it easy for him to pick up on what Tomás is feeling without him voicing it, taking it upon himself to either make decisions based on what Tomás would most prefer or urging the others to do so instead. Tomás appreciates Santi looking out for him, feeling it alleviates pressure off of his own shoulders when he's unsure of what to do.

Rafael (21) is the most boisterous of all of them, the beacon of activity and extroversion to balance out his more subdued companions. He's a risk-taker and extremely liberal-minded about topics that usually wouldn't be openly bragged out, often leading to Santi urging him to keep it down (which will inevitably be ignored or expanded upon specifically to make Santi flustered).

His loud and brash personality clashes with Tomás's reserved ways, but the two have a unique bond despite the expected incompatibility; Rafael is not at all discouraged by Tomás's quietness and Tomás isn't put off by Rafael's brazenness. They both think the other is easy to communicate with - Tomás never has to guess what Rafa's feelings are and Rafa likes Tomás's predilection for being a listening ear.

Cristián (20) is far old enough now to have an identity and social circle separate to those of his twin brother César, but when he was a young child he used to be very shy and hesitant to leave his brother's side. When Santi and Rafa became his friends it was the first time he felt comfortable with something (or someone) that was more or less his own - so when his new friends started chatting with Tomás he felt a little threatened. Fears of abandonment were unfounded though, as not only did his friends not dump him in favor of the New Kid, but he very quickly realized why they liked Tomás and ended up getting attached to him too.

As adults they have similar mellow temperaments and get along quite nicely, though Cris's vastly improved self-assurance has made him a lot more laidback and unflappable than the more organized and prim Tomás. Tomás admires Cris's ability to be both steadfast and considerate, unwavering in what he believes in but knowing when to handle situations with delicateness and care.

When Camilo entered the picture and turned the Patch into a five-man-band, all four of the older members collectively decided that he was more or less their joint little brother. Santiago attempts to provide Camilo with proper advice and look out for him in ways an older brother should, which often means trying to make sure Rafael keeps his crude language in check around him. Rafael usually does not, taking a completely different approach to being and older brother and totally enabling Camilo's mischievous nature. Cristián is somewhere in the middle, oftentimes siding with Santi or Rafa purely based on what he think would have the most entertaining result.

Beyond this though Cris is a unique source of understanding for Camilo, as Cris is the only other person he knows who doesn't experience romantic attraction for anyone and has no interest in dating. He could have asked Bruno, of course, but solidarity feels a little better coming from someone close to his own age rather than his quirky hermit uncle.--

Cris, Santi and Rafa are the older brothers to Cecilia, Alejandra and Juancho (the town kids) respectively.

Other relationships to Encantownies include:

Santi and Alejandra have five other siblings, and José (the tall fellow Camilo shifts into near the start of the movie) is their tío. Osvaldo is a tío to Rafael and Juancho, as well as their teenaged sister. Cris's parents are seen bringing Cecilia into Casita before Antonio's ceremony, and his twin brother César is the young man who asks Luisa to help upright his leaning house.

Other OCs:

Claudia Reyes (19) is the young lady with the drum seen during The Family Madrigal, whose family owns the music shop they're playing in front of. Beside her are her brother-in-law on the left and her father on the right.

She's Rafael's long-time girlfriend, on his same wavelength of open-mindedness and free spirit. They've been in a strange will-they-won't-they situation since they were teenagers, with Rafael playing it off like they're not all that serious and just messing around. Everyone knows Rafa's totally full of it and is head over heels for her though, including Claudia who's more or less just waiting for him to finally get around to proposing. They're going to have at least 4 kids together.

She knows the rest of the Patch more or less as her boyfriend's friends, but there's still rapport between them and Claudia's more than welcome to hang with the boys whenever she wants. On top of that, she's also Luisa's good friend who oftentimes will suggest Luisa try out outrageous things in an effort to push her out of her comfort zone.

The town librarian, usually referred to as the Maestro, is an enigmatic yet helpful figure in town whose mission in life is the sharing of knowledge. They can be considered everyone's friend, though like Horacio they have a kinship with Bruno that goes back quite a few years. All perfectly platonic, mind you! Additionally, given Lucía's history of volunteering in the library, the Maestro also is on good terms with the Herrera family and still keeps in touch with Horacio pretty regularly.

And I think those are the most notable relationships to get into for now! Up next will be the AU posts, and... boy, do I have a lot of those. 🫠

[utilitycaster]

Regarding your tags: do you mind elaborating on the Rumblecusp thing? I caught up to streams during the Aeor arc and didn't really see fandom stuff earlier, so I'm a bit curious what you meant by that? Thanks in advance!

(in reference to this post)

Not at all! Basically, during the Rumblecusp arc, there was a lot of back and forth of who was Ackshually Supportive of Jester And Her Choices, and, with the admission that I myself am not a neutral person in these discussions, they all conveniently aligned with the decisions of the character they most shipped with Jester:

Caleb generally let her do whatever and stayed out of it, which was interpreted by people who shipped him and Jester as him supporting her (because he lets her do whatever), but leaves out the context of Caleb's whole canonical deal of feeling he cannot judge other people or tell them what to do in their own personal matters because he feels he has no moral position to do so; ie, this is not explicit support of Jester but rather how Caleb interacts with basically anything in which he is not directly involved. Do note also: Caleb tries but fails to have Cat's Claw grab Jester when she holds on to Artagan; there is, clearly, a point where he will oppose her choices.

Beau was pretty against Artagan the entire time. Honestly I think Beau punching him was very funny and she did, to her credit, ask permission first, but anyway, this was interpreted as Beau protecting Jester from The Traveler's malice. And, to be clear, he did bring them to Memory Loss Island on purpose, and while he promised Jester he'd have helped her, it's fair to have concerns about that. But Beau - understandably, since she frankly doesn't have good relationships that date back to early childhood the way Jester does - never quite seems to grasp how important Artagan is to her, and that you can be frustrated with him (hell, Jester is) and worried about Jester while still acknowledging that cutting off Artagan entirely will never be on the table. (Given Beau's mechanics, she is unable really to interfere with Jester being pulled up into the sky so I can't judge her on that).

Fjord ends up in the middle. Jester specifically seeks out his opinion, and he essentially says "look, we will support you as long as you're not being forced to change yourself to suit Artagan." He and Beau also agree to intervene with the Traveler as needed. When Jester is being taken, he goes up there with her and tells her to please let go and that the party will catch her. Eventually, Artagan takes the choice away and kicks Jester (and Fjord) off.

Now for what it's worth, I do think talking through these three approaches is interesting! All three characters are, canonically, people who care about Jester and harbor romantic feelings, and all three are approaching this in real and interesting ways consistent with their characterization. The reason why the discussion was eyerollingly stupid to me is not that it existed; it was that first, it really only centered around those three and either ignored or excused non-romantic faves (Caduceus is very suspicious of Artagan and the judgiest man to ever exist (affectionate), but people arguing in favor of Caleb's laissez-faire attitude who liked Caduceus often gave Cad's judgment a pass while calling Fjord and Beau awful. They also largely ignored Yasha and Veth, who both had imo approaches not dissimilar to Fjord's, though more subtly borne out in that they did not explicitly talk to her about it.)

Second, and more obviously, it was all "what does Jester want" until she decided she wanted to kiss someone they didn't want her to, and then suddenly she's a dumb bitch and her choices are bad, so, you know, was it ever about respecting her choices, or was it a constantly shifting goalpost of what supports the ship. (sidebar: if the goalpost is constantly shifting for your ship? does not bode well for the ship, typically.)

Anyway the two points I'm getting at here are:

I think you can love someone unconditionally in that you care about them as a person regardless of what they do, but that doesn't mean you can't judge them or encourage them to make different choices. It's like a twist on the old saying: if your friend jumped off a bridge, would you follow them? Except it's "if your friend was going to jump off a bridge, and it was their choice, would you stop them?" or "If your friend were going to push a ton of innocent people off a bridge, would you stop them?" There is a difference between "I want you to have agency in your life and be happy" and "I'd rather let you destroy yourself or others than push back even a little on your choices". There's something selfish, in being so scared to lose someone before the fact that you risk losing them far more permanently; and something deeper and more selfless in saying "I love you so much that I'd rather you hate me and live, than that you die or commit atrocities." Like, you should be there for them, but you don't need to validate things you believe are harmful just to support them.

The core principle of literary analysis is basically "any interpretation is valid provided it is evidenced by the text." You can watch through the lenses of shipping goggles and enjoy yourself; but often those are not supported by the text. And that's fine! I know I tend to sound condescending towards this and I will admit it's because I see absolutely no appeal in it, but if you want blorbo 1 and blorbo 2 to kiss and want to watch a show that seems to be driving to that end point regardless of canon, then that is your right and I am not going to stop you. However, no one else is under any obligation to find validity, let alone agree with that interpretation. Indeed, just as it's valid for you to watch with shipping goggles, it's valid for other people to vocally disagree (provided they're not harassing you and are doing so in a place you can choose to block out), particularly if it outright conflicts with canon or is hypocritical in the context of your other interpretations.

[tealmoth]

also "darkfic au that got out of control" is such a funny description to me 😭 im curious as to why you think so personally i thought it was pretty balanced in heavy and lighthearted moments and considering the themes like the effects of imperialism i dont see why it wouldnt be handled as such. havent watched in a while tho idk

oooohh okay so this’ll be a fun thing to answer because i’ve been desperate to ramble about ‘03 plot points to anyone who will listen all week. so for me, honestly, the darkfic vibes come more from how deeply it dredges into the dark aspects, if that makes any sense?? most of what’s “dark” in ‘03 already exists and is explored in brotherhood, like the imperialism aspects as you mentioned, as well as grief and trauma and everything else that comes prepackaged with fma’s core story. but brotherhood handled these in a very shonen way (which is to be expected, of course). the darkness pushes the characters forward, makes them fight on. even when they’re at the brink, they’re called back by a loved one, or by their own convictions, and it retains an overall positive feel.

meanwhile in ‘03, i get the specific vibe that the writers looked at the story they already had, and asked themselves “how can this be worse??”

(inserting a read more because i’m about to go on a MASSIVE tangent, sorry.)

and so, here are some of the specific darker aspects that stood out the most to me:

the build-up to nina is given far more screentime and its place in the timeline is totally different. not only are the elrics so much younger here, but they’re also essentially a part of the tucker family for the better part of several months iirc. they also witness the direct aftermath of her death at the hands of scar (which is also implied to be FAR more gruesome here), whereas in brotherhood they find out from riza the morning after it happens.

there’s the whole barry ordeal which afaik doesn’t serve much purpose other than it, well, being kinda neat to see pre-armor barry. and i could totally be misremembering here and/or missing something important but the whole episode just stands out to me as “hey, i don’t think that ed’s had enough trauma yet. let’s sprinkle in some attempted murder.”

everything with the laboratory, holy shit. tucker’s reappearance, the attempts at recreating nina, the prisoners, everything with kimblee, the way ed almost activates the array, ALL OF IT is insane in this version.

al’s doubts about his memories and his origins is a longer arc and leads to more conflict with ed in this version.

mustang and winry’s parents. mustang’s suicide attempt. everything with mustang that’s not comic relief (which there’s still plenty of).

as stated in the tags of my first ‘03 post, the utilization of rose’s character is a really intense departure (while interesting!!) that completely took me aback.

the entirely different lore surrounding the homunculi is both incredibly fascinating and a lot to take in, and it leads to them being far more mentally vulnerable and tormented characters than they are in brotherhood. the contrast alone between the development greed gets in brotherhood (using him as an example since he effectively has the most character growth out of the homunculi there) and the development that lust, wrath, and sloth get in ‘03 stands out the most to me.

sloth in general. it’s a wildly fascinating take and, in addition to REALLY hammering in the themes surrounding their mother’s transmutation, also stands to provide even more trauma for the elrics.

and on that subject, the adults are far less present for the boys in this version. that’s not to say that they’re like “parents” or anything in brotherhood, but they’re a lot more openly concerned for them in a personal, affectionate way in that show. whereas here, especially in the early segments, i’m pretty sure that ed could have died in a ditch somewhere and they wouldn’t have noticed for at least a week.

scar’s characterization is more vulnerable here and both his death and the events leading up to it are insane.

and that’s not even getting into everything with dante, which deserves its own post.

with all that said, i’m also not even done with this show yet. i still have four eps left!!

but, all rambling aside, that’s what specifically gave me the darkfic sort of vibe. not to demean the show or reduce it to fanfic terms, or anything; it’s still very interesting and competent writing. but it just gives me so much whiplash when compared to brotherhood’s overarching feelings of hope and the ability to fight back and change the future for the better. it feels soul-nourishing to me, in a way. meanwhile, ‘03 is like a cavalcade of trauma, all provoked by the question “you know what’d be really fucked up??”

[dogydayz]

Not to vague post, and this is especially not anything against the person who brought this to my mind, but I feel the need to make sure people know this since I post a LOT about how I like Sonadow and don't wanna attract the wrong crowds-

I'm NOT okay with Sonadow depictions that are abusive. I'm not okay with ANY abusive ships being seen as cute or romantic. That's a huge thing for me, and it's super triggering to see people romanticize abuse and shit.

HOWEVER. I do not view the rivalry aspect to them as inherently "abusive" so long as it's depicted in a way that's like. Mutual. They enjoy it. They enjoy competing and battling and shit. Because I totally love that idea for them, and even think it's a tad odd when they're shown as /only/ being super affectionate, since their rivalry is sort of intrinsic to their relationship. They're basically perfect for competing with one another, and I've even shown in my Razor AU that I tend to go with the idea that, similarly to the cosmic rule of Sonic and Tails being brothers, Sonic and Shadow are like. Destined to be rivals. Literally star-crossed rivals. They are somewhat of equals in their abilities, they can learn one anothers' powers too, and they both have weird natural Chaos energy. They bounce off one another perfectly emotionally and competitively. THAT'S a huge part to their relationship! (I have no actual problems with the more affectionate depictions of them, I just generally like to show their competitions AS their affection at times. Their fights are like dances. I think that's a wonderfully interesting concept for a ship!)

I will say that their dynamic is very much one of those "it works in fiction, but it wouldn't work super well in reality". Like, their traits are too extreme for reality by default, and their dynamic would, in the real world, simply not work out well since they'd be humans and deal with Human Issues. The fact of the matter is that there are things that CAN BE FINE IN FICTION, but not in reality (do NOT spin this to mean i'm okay with actual proshipper-type shit. That's NOT what im talking about. What i'm talking about is more like.... Like, pairings that would be unstable irl due to lack of environmental control and how human psychology works but can work in fiction because of expanded possibilities that already exist in fiction, such as characters who are assassins but aren't immediately bad guys and shit).

Which is kinda why I got so shocked by some of the tags on AO3 Sonadow fics, because I sorta neglected to consider that there are people who DO depict it as abusive.

Another note is that I like to stick to an older canon for Shadow, but I often like to use details from more modern media for him. Which is probably why I don't see their rivalry and the possibilities for them to have a relationship more than just friends (whether it be qpr or romantic, i dont really care since i'm an enjoyer of both) as really bad. Because I don't really consider the more recent times where they've battled and Shadow's been more "nasty" to him as how I base things on (excluding the Twitter Takeovers since those go off-script and Kirk does his damn best to make Shadow actually more like who he truly is there, so I see those as positive depictions of their banter).

Maybe this post wasn't needed, maybe it could've been assumed by how I talk about them, however it was weighing on my mind to make sure people understand how I feel about this whole topic, because I do need to recognize that there ARE very problematic and gross depictions of the ship and I do NOT support them. So when I reblog art of the guys fighting and shit, just do know that this is how I tend to view it, I'm not at all trying to seem like I'm romanticizing abusive behaviors or anything, I just like the different ways they could be interpreted as rivals and/or as partners

[microwavetoaster-selfships]

🪽🪺🪷🫧

For whoever you'd like! Sorry if this is too many you don't have to do them all Oops (markbeakskisser)

HIII!!! No this is perfect!!! I kid you not I could get an ask saying to do the whole ask game and I would do it in a heartbeat haha!! I love answering questions! (Which I have highhhlllyyly considering doing one of those things where you do the whole ask game and like link back to the ask game or such.)

But I'll do this one for Lightning :3 I think answering for him best suits this combo of questions hehe!

🪽 - what was your first kiss with your f/o like, if you've had it?

*muffled screaming into a pillow* oh, so you're TRYING to kill me here??(/joking). Okay but really though, we got very comfortable with each other rather quickly, and so we already messed around a lot and were a little extra affectionate with just each other, not to mention having to share a bed..very frequently since a lot of traveling during race season, whether in hotels or whatnot, it was almost like a second nature sort of thing. Ack, I mean, I hardly know how to describe it! It was very much a shy "are we really doing this??" Sort of thing, but it was getting late at night and we had spent it laughing and goofing around with each other over video games, and so there was just so much lighthearted playfulness around it that it didn't feel like too intimidating or intense of a thing, if that makes any sense at all. There was a little bit of teasing, but then we just went back to playing some games before going to bed, it was great, really. Like the definition of fluff.

🪺 - describe your f/os perception of you before you got together, compared to what it is now!

Okay, I love this one so much cause depending on who it's asked for there's some really fun answers hehe!! Which is partly why I picked Lightning, cause I love the answer for this one with him! But, he actually started out probably pretty peeved and/or upset with me! I mean, not directly at me, but more so my presence or the fact that I had to be there. It wasn't a personal thing, but he was very big on being a one-man-show as a rookie, and so he didn't really like having to have a team that worked with him, even if it was more beneficial. It was practically like him going to a pet store and picking out a puppy, haha! He went with me and just settled with it, grabbed the first one he saw and then left. He wasn't very keen on getting close with anyone either for several reasons, so he was practically set up to be a bit distant towards me. But, funnily enough, we warmed up to each other! Like little icecubes left outside the freezer.

🪷 - if the roles were reversed and your f/o was the one selfshipping with you, what would their blog look like?

Lightning would probably just run one of those blogs where he would reblogs a lot of things and maybe occasionally mention things in the tags of reblogs, and that's really it. His few original posts would probably just be big bursts of like lengthy paragraphs, either rants or gushing. I feel like he'd also not care and be one of those bold(/positive) people that posts what few posts he already makes into the main fandom tags, and not care if anyone stumbled across his blog or not. I don't think he'd go the full mile of making a carrd/strawpage/etc., and he'd probably hardly even have an intro post. He'd probably just do the bare minimum, maybe change his blog color every now and then to whatever he's feeling like. Hard maybe for whether he'd even change is profile picture to something different than the default tumblr one.

(This was so cute to think about I am trying not to get carried away here with it!! Maybe I'll make some post about it sometime with my other F/Os hehehaha!)

🫧 - what song(s) remind you of your f/o?

Funnily enough, I just made an incoherent post a while ago talking about Applause by Lady Gaga and him!! I think that song suits him really quite well, and I also think he'd frequently listen to it as well. Maybe I'm just biased from the vision of edits that my brain provides for me. I don't know XD I wish I could say a bit more cause normally I have very vast or in-depth thingies about why I associate a song with someone, but this one is rather to the point! Then again in all fairness, the song itself is rather cut and clear as well.

Dynamite by Taio Cruz is also an honorable mention.

[slashingdisneypasta]

M.I. here with the next part. And laughing at you hiding your phone from the dvds.

Please don't kill me for this, I promise Tommy's gone in the next one. (Also, I noticed the typo in the other one only AFTER you'd posted it.)

Late 1973

One second, you're in your room flipping through an old magazine. The next, reality warps and you're in the dining area. The place is empty, not a customer in sight.

"What," you ask, looking up curiously.

There's no answer in words, of course. It doesn't work like that. Instead, the tv flickers on. Showing Tommy. He's at a McDonald's, of all places. You know it's not real, as there's nothing but space outside the window -a shooting star flashes by when you glance to confirm- but...or, well, it's real but not, at the same time.

It's the McDonald's. The one where the two of you met, flirted and fell in love on your lunch breaks. The one where he asked if you wanted to go with him once he'd saved up enough to leave, and you said a very enthusiastic yes.

He's wearing his old uniform. And you recognize that corner booth easily enough, with your initials and a heart carved into the table. He got in a whoooole lotta trouble for that.

"Maybe I shouldn't-" you start, flipping the switch to off.

It turns on again. You get the hint. Keep watching even though this was clearly meant to be a private moment.

"I want to, obviously," he's saying, and it startles you to think he speaks to The Cafe just the same as you. Using the building as a silent confessional. "And I should. But I don't think she'd let me. She's always hated that."

With those words, you know exactly what you've been dropped in the middle of. An apology.

Years before your lives ended, you told him to stop saying sorry if he was never going to change. Instead, you'd let his affectionate words stand as a substitute and your own as an excuse. We're broke again. It's okay because we love each other.

You needed that to be true. Or else what was the point? You'd done it all for nothing.

He keeps talking, telling The Cafe all those things he used to say that made you feel guilty before guilt turned to anger. How he was no good and ruined your life. Things you'd eventually stopped disagreeing with him on, exhausted from the constant reassurance. Things that were guaranteed to start a fight and have him going off to lick his wounds from your hurtful words.

The make up sex was always great, though. Tommy doing his best to remind you why you'd chosen this life and you trying to erase that kicked puppy look of his. The only thing left that really brought the two of you close before the next argument.

Things are different now. He has changed. You can accept an apology that doesn't leave you feeling drained from listening to it.

You stay until he falls silent, not wanting to miss a single word. Then you point questioningly in the direction of the men's room. Once again, no real answer, but there's a...vibe...when the place wants you to go somewhere. Somehow, you just know to follow.

When you push open the door, your uniform changes into one that matches Tommy. You look down, adjusting your old name tag with a nostalgic smile as you make your way over to him.

"It's okay," you say, reaching out for his hand when he looks up. "It doesn't matter anymore."

Pulling him to his feet, you rise onto your toes and throw your arms around his neck. Stretching up for a kiss.The restaurant falls away as your lips meet, replaced by his parents' basement. This location is all your doing. The place where he'd sneak you in after you'd snuck out. Running to the end of your street, jumping into the light blue convertible his parents helped him buy.

"You sure," he asks, recognizing the significane.

"Just this once, for old time's sake," you say with another smile.

There's an old brown sofa down there, positioned across from the tv that was the height of luxury at the time. A pool table in the corner elevating the whole thing to rec room status. It's not important. Not like the sofa. That's where you gave him your virginity and discovered just how addictive it could be to break the rules.

This time, your bodies meet in friendship and forgiveness. And rather than giving, it feels like you're taking something back: all the youthful optimism he stole. It's letting go of the old beginning to give yourself a new one.

WEEEEE I LOVE THIS! I mean, having read the next part and know what's coming I'm feeling kinda mixed emotions over this- but I am a sucker for a sad/sweet goodbye 😔🤧 I mean, I don't really know how sympathetic I can can be towards a man who pursued a relationship with a 16 year old when he was 20- but at the same time YOUR WRITING!! It so 💛💕💔💛💕💔💛💕💔💛💥💥💥💥!!

I feel so much for them 💛💛💛