#(they’re too gay for public consumption)

[leclercsbf]

heterosexuals have been real quiet since the new c² challenge dropped…

[kinnporsche]

here’s another kinn & porsche rec list as promised! once again, the list is ordered according to length (from longest to shortest), but this time i’ve also included some wips that i’m obsessed with right now—if the fic is currently incomplete, i’ve marked it with (wip). you should definitely check them all out, they’re so great and every new update makes my day. really and truly, these fics have literally been what’s getting me through it lately. please be sure to read the tags, and show the authors some love! [part 2/?]

— true north by vincerets – explicit / 102.6k words (wip)

soulmate (ˈsəʊlmeɪt) · noun · a person with whom you feel the most complete. two bodies, one soul.

Porsche is twenty-three when he gets a job working for the mafia. He’s twenty-three when one touch from the family’s heir shifts his world from shades of grey to bright and vibrant. Whoever decided to put the other half of his soul in a Theerapanyakul is getting a very strongly worded letter.

— fake love and hennessy by yeetlegay – explicit / 102.5k words (wip)

“As I said, Porsche,” Kinn begins. “I don’t like loose ends. So here’s what I propose: I’ll pay you for your company for the next week until my flight on Friday. Once I’m out of the country and beyond the reach of my enemies here, you’ll be free to go home. How does that sound?”

Porsche feels like he’s hallucinating. “My company?”

Kinn’s eyes roam over him freely. “Or however else you’d like to put it.”

(AKA: the Pretty Woman AU.)

— being this close ain’t close enough by fortunehasgivenup – explicit / 81k words

Porsche has imagined meeting his soulmate plenty of times. He hadn’t thought that it would involve being chased by men with knives and tied to a chair, but he’s willing to let that go. What he isn’t willing to do is let Kinn walk all over him.

The second that Kinn sees his own name on Porsche’s body, he’s all in. He wants Porsche within arm’s reach, at his side, in his bed, all of it. But his soulmate is stubborn and independent to a fault.

(Or: during the boat scene in episode one, they realize that they’re soulmates. They have a difference of opinions about how things should go.)

— wrapped around your finger (is my ring) by kittysawat – explicit / 61.2k words (wip)

“Relax.” Kinn leans on the counter. “I just want to talk.”

Porsche wills his beating heart to calm down, hoping his voice is steady when he asks, “You want your watch back, right?”

He has the audacity to laugh. “No, but I do have an offer for you.”

“An offer?”

Kinn smiles up at him, his ringed finger tapping against the glass. “Be my fiancé.”

(Or: when forced into an arranged marriage, Kinn needs someone to play his fiancé. The perfect candidate comes to him in the form of a certain bartender demanding fifty-grand.)

— like that through all eternity by concernedlily – explicit / 49.5k words (wip)

Korn holds one thing back. Believing Kinn is his cousin and they can no longer be together, Porsche has to take on the job of running the minor family alone.

— you’re mine by ahdriking – explicit / 23.1k words

Kinn and Porsche are abducted in the middle of their date. Kinn proceeds to demonstrate exactly what happens to those who touch what belongs to him.

(And maybe, just maybe, he’ll find out just how much he likes belonging to Porsche, too.)

— the things i would do to you by kurtstiel – explicit / 18.9k words

“Just because you have a big dick doesn’t mean you know what to do with it,” Porsche says. “Most men who are hung like horses think they don’t even have to try.”

Slowly, Kinn’s eyes slide open. Porsche gets a foreboding feeling like he’s just poked a sleeping bear. Kinn catches and holds Porsche’s gaze, eyes lethal. “And how would you know, Porsche?”

(Or: Porsche discovers what it means to have a size kink.)

— public consumption by iffervescent – explicit / 13.6k words

Porsche agrees to be in a gay porno. Kinn doesn’t work here.

— counting the waves by androktasia – explicit / 8.8k words

Papa had said it was best they keep a distance while things settled down. He’d said that it wouldn’t do to look like they were too much in one another’s pockets. That their rivals might see their relationship as a weakness to be exploited.

Plus, with so many staff dead after the attack, everything seems to take three times as long to do. The work carries on, despite their depleted resources. Everyone’s pulling long hours. Kinn rarely has evenings free anymore, and Porsche certainly doesn’t. They speak on the phone when they can; Kinn in his room, Porsche in his own, sometimes reporting on what they’ve been doing, sometimes just listening to each other breathe until they fall asleep. Most days, from what Kinn can tell, Porsche works till midnight, crawls into bed for a few hours, and then gets right up and starts working again.

Kinn knows his father wouldn’t want him here. He’s sneaked out—sort of. Arm knows where he is, and if Arm knows, Tankhun knows (which is why Arm knows). Papa had told Kinn that he should let Porsche get established on his own, to show trust. It does make sense, if Kinn thinks about it logically.

But he misses his boyfriend.

(Or: Kinn visits Porsche at the minor family house.)

— take shelter by vesna (mrsronweasley) – explicit / 6k words

Porsche loves Kinn. He’d said as much, and Kinn had nearly whited out in response. He hasn’t said it back yet. Porsche doesn’t seem to have let that affect him, hasn’t acted differently towards him at all. Maybe he doesn’t even need to hear it. And Kinn—Kinn isn’t entirely sure why he’s keeping him waiting. It isn’t as if he isn’t madly fucking in love with him.

— when the heat wave comes by oliviacirce – explicit / 5.1k words

“I don't think that's normal,” Porsche says doubtfully.

— love, let my love inside go free by daltoneering – explicit / 3.5k words

They burst to the surface gasping for breath, water clogging Porsche’s ears, distorting the brightness of Kinn’s laughter across the pool into muffled echoes along the tall glass walls of the building. He grabs for the side, lungs screaming.

“Fuck! You want to drown me?”

(Or: Kinn shows Porsche just how grateful he is for the perfect first date.)

— you put a fever inside me by butterflylungs – explicit / 3.1k words

Your life is mine, Kinn had once told him. It had pissed Porsche off at the time, when Kinn had been freezing him out. Now, even the suggestion of Kinn laying his claim on him, marking him as his, has Porsche whimpering Kinn’s name. It would make this permanent. It would mean that Kinn will keep him, forever.

(Or: Porsche riles Kinn up during a work meeting, and Kinn teaches him a lesson.)

— smoke on your skin by mirrorofprinces – explicit / 2.7k words

There is a small, dark part of Kinn that considers pinching Porsche’s nose shut and fucking his face to completion. Instead, he reaches for the crystal whiskey glass on his desk and takes a fortifying sip. “Enough.”

— i wanted your body but it came with your soul by any_open_eye – explicit / 2.2k words

“Do I need to tie you up?” Kinn asks.

He watches that hit Porsche, rippling down his body, his mouth opening pink and wet. Kinn wants to suck on it like candy.

Slowly, Porsche wraps his fingers back around the bars. “I’ll keep still,” he promises, because Porsche likes to win, yes. But he also likes to lose.

[solarwindswriting]

Unholy

Pairing: Enji Todoroki (Endeavor) x PopStar!Reader

Word Count: 2600+

Summary: Inspired by Unholy By Sam Smith and Kim Petras. As promotion for their newest album, Y/n revealed a mysterious hint at one of the songs true meanings. Enji Todoroki starts to quietly panic at this vague reveal by the young singer. Hawks is all too ready to fan the flames of Pro Hero Endeavor’s insecurities.

Warnings: Playful hitting, alcohol consumption, marriage affair, the use of Mx. (feel free to input whatever preferred)

A/N: Reader is gender neutral! Let me know if you like this story or not. Definitely a new direction in my writing style. Some bold decisions were made on my part. Still suoer not familiar with Endeavor as a love interest so sorry for anything that's OOC.

“Pop Sensation Y/n L/n confirms their new song Unholy is about a Pro Hero who acted as a Sugar Daddy for them, but won’t say who. Could it be one of their classmates from UA? We’ll talk about our predictions after this commercial break,” the tabloid anchor spilled before jumping to a commercial for toothpaste.

They laughed, popping a grape into their mouth. Y/n’s phone was blowing up with their friends’ names as well as the man in question's. The ‘news’ plastered on every tabloid in Japan was the same story and Y/n could almost cackle at how easy it was to rile the feathers of so many people so easily. As if on queue, a red feather whipped around their shared kitchen, tickling Y/n’s nose before finding hawks’ wing again.

“If I knew being your roommate meant being bombarded by paparazzi asking who you’re fucking, I wouldn’t have signed that lease,” Keigo complained, taking a grape from the bag in front of Y/n and leaning with his back to the counter. “I thought I was the one who was supposed to have the interesting sex life.”

“Maybe if…” Y/n started, leaning forward and blocking their bag of grapes from him, “if you left the apartment for something other than hero work, you would.”

Y/n’s phone lit up and started to buzz on the marble countertop. Keigo looks at it and smirks.

“So, when are you going to tell him?” Keigo chuckles, seeing Shoto Todoroki’s contact photo on Y/n’s phone.

“Tell him what?” Y/n asks, silencing the phone and sliding it into their pocket.

“You’re joking, right? That you’re fucking his dad.” Keigo’s voice became more serious the more he spoke, “kid’s like your best friend. I know I’d be pissed if my crush from high school was fucking my dad.”

“Aww, you’d have a crush on me if we went to school together? That’s so sweet. But I thought you were gay?” Y/n chuckles, picking up their bowl of grapes and walking towards the couch.

“Oh, don’t give me that. I’m a bi icon and you know it,” Keigo follows close behind.

“I’m not going to tell him, just like I’m not going to tell the tabloids! I’ll do what I always planned; send a group text to my friends that I made it up for publicity!” Y/n shrugged, sitting down and turning up the tv.

“Why do you even watch these shows? They’re all lies,” Keigo rolls his eyes as he tries to reach around Y/n to steal the remote.

Y/n snatches the remote and sends him a fake glare, “this is how I keep up with my friends from school. I use it as an opener when texting them. ‘Hey, Izuku! Is it true Ochaco is pregnant?’ It works every time.”

“Why can’t you just text ‘hey’?” Keigo questions.

Y/n gives him a look of disgust before speaking, “you want me to start a conversation with just hey? Like some kind of psychopath?”

Y/n’s phone had fallen between the cushions and started to buzz again. Keigo grumbles, digging into the couch and pulling out the phone. He answers it without looking at the screen and before Y/n can snatch it.

“Y/n can’t come to the phone right now, Todoroki. Can I take a message?” Keigo asked irritated.

Keigo’s feathers puff out and his eyes go wide at the deep voice that responds, “please give the phone to Mx. Y/l/n. I have something I must discuss with them.”

Keigo quickly recovers with a smirk, looking Y/n in the eyes as he spoke, “not the Todoroki I thought was calling. What can I do for you on this fine day, Endeavor?”

Y/n began to panic, not knowing how to avoid Enji now. Keigo leaned back on the couch, listening intently to the man on the phone, and getting comfortable. An occasional yeah or mmhm would come from him, but that was all he was telegraphing.

“Yeah, I hear you, Man. Volume isn’t the issue here. The problem is that they aren’t here to even take a phone call. They left their phone in the apartment by accident in their rush out the door. You know how Y/n can be. Always the forgetful one,” Keigo smoothly says, saving Y/n's proverbial ass from having to talk to him before changing the topic. “I noticed you called them a few times. Is there a reason you’re calling one of your son's best friends?”

Y/n’s hand found their mouth as a fearful squeak comes from them. Keigo knew exactly what he was doing. Keigo laughs as he pulls the phone away from his ear and holds the phone out to Y/n. The phone still said call ended for a split second before going black.

“He hung up on me, the dick. He totally knows I know now,” Keigo still chuckled as he turned back towards the tv.

Y/n hit Keigo in the back of the head with their phone.

“What the fuck was that? Don’t pick up my phone if you’re not even going to look at the caller id!” Y/n scolded.

Keigo swore he could see steam shoot from Y/n’s ears. He held out his hand. Y/n slapped the remote into his hand, glaring as they readjusted and faced the tv again.

“Hey, some guy named Enji Todoroki called you. Said something about it being urgent?” Keigo said casually, flipping through channels.

Y/n slapped his arm causing him to laugh and push their shoulder.

“No, but seriously…” Keigo starts. “Does he always do that old person thing where he’s always slightly yelling into the phone? Because he does that to me too, and I gotta know.”

Y/n rolls their eyes, pouting as Keigo starts a movie.

---

“So, Y/n, your secret is safe with me,” the talk show hoost starts, “Who’s the song about?”

Y/n chuckles lightly and they spoke casually, “my secret is safe on live television? You think me a fool.”

“D’awe. You can’t blame a host for trying!” He speaks directly to the camera.

The crowd laughs.

“After this, we bring Pro Hero Hawks out to the couch!” The host says to the camera and applause from the audience.

With applause, the show returns from commercial, and Keigo is bounding from backstage to center, waving at the audience and sending a few tactical winks at a few women. He finally finds his seat next to Y/n after shaking the host’s hand.

“Pro Hero Hawks! How have you been since last we saw you?” The host starts, tapping his notecards on his knee.

“I’ve been good but busy! Climbing the hero charts was easy, staying up there is difficult with all the new hero blood out there,” Keigo laughs, sipping the whiskey from the glass that had been placed for him during the commercial.

“You’re right! Last year's newest heroes from UA High came to the scene with numbers under their belts already! You and Y/n share an apartment, correct? Any of their old UA friends loiter in your apartment?” The host prys.

Keigo and Y/n both know what the host is trying to infer.

Keigo laughs again, “I wish Y/n would bring friends over. I’m beginning to think they don’t actually have any friends. If you’re trying to get me to spill on their secrets, I can give you this: it never happened in the apartment…”

Murmurs wash over the crowd.

Keigo continues with a smirk, “And I do know who it is.”

Y/n is quick to respond with a smile, “I swear, you can’t tell a Pro Hero anything. They can’t keep a secret to save their lives. I told Deku who my first kiss was and he immediately told Uravity who told Pinky who told the rest of our grade by lunch!”

“Oooh, who was this first kiss of yours with?” The host leans forward in curiosity.

“Oh, he’s going to kill me for saying this,” Y/n exhaled before taking a long sip from their glass. Y/n smiled proudly and spoke with confidence, “Pro Hero DynaMight.”

The crowd whoops and hollers at Y/n’s loud whisper. The host is fanning himself with his note cards.

“Now, that’s some juicy gossip! Where you his first kiss too?” The host questions.

“If 17-year-old Katsuki Bakugo is to be believed, then yes,” Y/n chuckles.

“Okay, even I didn’t know this!” Keigo feigns hurt.

---

“I don’t care what kind of relationship you have with them, Endeavor,” Keigo drawls, flying next to Endeavor above the city. “What I care about is how that little fireball weaseled its way into your wallet. I’m trying to learn how they do it so I can scam some old guy too.”

Enji groaned, “don’t you have somewhere better to be, Hawks?”

“Nope! The commission wants to see us interacting friendly with each other out in public. So here I am!” Keigo smirked.

“I would hardly call this friendly,” Enji responds, landing on a nearby rooftop.

Keigo followed suit and continued, “oh, come on. I’m just playing. Stop stressing over it or you’ll do something stupid like tell the press yourself! No one suspects you. The main prediction right now is actually your youngest. So, how much did you give her in that NDA?”

Enji ignored him, taking off back into the sky.

---

“6.7 million??” Keigo gawked at his roommate through the mirror in the bathroom they were sharing.

Y/n looked up from their sink station, “yeah, he also made it clear he wasn’t cutting off our ‘normal meetings.’ The man really talks like an old-timey Sheriff.”

“So,” Keigo starts, taking a flat iron to his hair, styling it just so, “where are you taking me to keep me quiet?”

“Without an apartment, if you tell anyone. Remember, you’re living here for free,” Y/n reminds him, adjusting their own hair for their night out.

“I am unloved,” Keigo sighs loudly, the back of his free hand finding his forehead.

“Don’t be a drama queen. I’ll take you out for dinner next week,” Y/n suggests.

“Careful, they’ll think I’m the one you’re sleeping with,” Keigo counters, laughing while pulling on his jacket and heading toward the front door.

Y/n pretends to throw up at the thought of his comment. They grabbed their own jacket, putting what they’d need into their jean pockets. Y/n’s phone buzzes on the coffee table as the two left the bathroom. The two look at each other before both lunging for the phone. Keigo grabs it and flies off the ground in the high vaulted apartment and out of Y/n’s reach. He unlocks Y/n’s phone and looks at the text.

Keigo laughs while reading it out loud, “‘Are you awake?’ Is this guy for real? Man is married with children and still texting like this? Real catch, this one.”

A phone call from the flame hero came in. Keigo tosses Y/n’s phone down to them. Y/n narrowly catches it and answer’s the call.

“Hello, Mr. Todoroki. How are you doing?” Y/n starts into the phone.

“Oh. Is there someone there? I can call back when they leave. When is that?” Enji’s voice is as stiff as ever as he questions Y/n.

“I’ll actually be busy all night so I can’t talk business. You’re welcome to send an email to my agent. I’m sure she’ll respond at her soonest convenience,” Y/n shifted into a sickenly sweet young professional voice.

Keigo watched as Y/n tried to blow off whatever plans Endeavor was trying to set up. Enji paused for a long time, causing Y/n to believe they lost signal. Keigo laughs, shaking his head and grabbing his keys as he lands.

“Hello? Mr. Todoro-” Y/n was cut off by the man on the phone.

“Who are you with?” Enji interrupts, slight irritation in his voice.

Y/n’s disposition falters and Keigo looks at them confused as to what’s wrong.

“Um, I don’t see how who I am with is of concern to you, Mr. Todoroki.” Y/n speaks carefully, sliding on their shoes by the door.

“Are you going out with my son tonight?” Enji attempts to ask casually.

“Yes, I’m going out with him and a bunch of our friends for my birthday. Did you forget that was today?” Y/n quizzed, raising an eyebrow at Keigo.

The duo leaves the apartment. Keigo struggled to contain his laughter as he locked the apartment door behind them.

“Are any of them with you know? Do they know who you’re speaking to?” He continues to grill.

“No, just Hawks. Why? Do you want to take to him,” Y/n looks over and makes eye contact with Keigo who shakes his head furiously from side to side.

“No, that won’t be necessary. Call me when you are home.” Enji demands.

“I probably won’t be home until the early hours of the nigh-” Y/n was cut off again.

“You heard me,” Enji hung up the phone before they could respond.

Y/n scoffed, shoving their phone in their pocket. Keigo laughed at his close friend.

“He’s down bad. It’s kind of gross,” Keigo quips.

---

The two arrived at the nightclub together. Keigo threw his keys toward the valet boy who caught them easily. They enter the loud club, making their way to the back VIP tables. Paparazzi had been clipping photos since they stepped out of Keigo’s sports car. News of the Y/n’s birthday party spread like wildfire and the club was soon twice as packed with fans hoping to brush shoulders with any of the start-studded guests.

“So!” Miruko yelled over the crowd, gaining the attention of Mina, Y/n, and Denki, “who are you sleeping with?”

“I already told you! I lied about that!” Y/n yelled back.

“Well, we don’t believe you!” Denki laughs, handing each of them another shot.

Y/n laughs, before downing the shot with their friends.

It's nearly 2am when a commotion could be heard across the club and the whole VIP section looks over to see an especially irritated looking Enveavor being swarmed by fans.

“Hey, Shoto! Why’s your dad here? You out past curfew?” Katsuki yells over to Shoto.

“No idea,” Shoto responds at a normal volume, eyebrows stitched together.

Y/n looks from Shoto to his father to find the latter already looking at them. Y/n quickly looks away and pretends like they hadn’t seen him and takes another round of shots, this time with Katsuki and Hawks. Katsuki was standing behind Y/n as the three talked around one of the standing tables, his chin resting on their left shoulder, and his hand resting on their right hip.

---

Endeavor watched Y/n stand and leave to another table and how one of his son's school friends was practically hanging off them. He started to make his way across the club, wading through the thick crowd of people before being stopped in the center of the dance floor by his son.

“Why are you here, Endeavor?” Shoto asks calmly.

Endeavor froze. He hadn’t thought that far. He sudden;y found himself lost in a crowd of people thinking about why exactly he was there. He surely couldn’t say he was here for Y/n. Or that them being surrounded by tons of strangers who could potentially whisk them away scared him. And least of all say any of that to his son.

“There is a mission we have to attend to immediately and you weren’t answering your phone,” Endeavor lied through his teeth.

“I’m too inebriated to work. I will attend to whatever you need of me in the morning.” Shoto bargains.

Endeavor gave a short nod, turning back towards the entrance. For a moment, he pauses at the door, looking over his shoulder to find Y/n’s eyes on him once again. He left without speaking a word to them, but showing up like that was a message enough.

[miscfanfics]

It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia: S11 E8

A Fan Fiction by MiscFanFics

Charlie Kelly x Female Reader

Warnings:

Smut

P in V, unprotected

Public Copulation

Language

18+ only - Minors DNI

Alcohol consumption

Minor spoilers for IASIP (season 11)

~~~Gifs do not belong to me!~~~

Today is Thursday, March 17th. Your coworker asked you to come out with her for drinks tonight to a place called Paddy’s Pub. An Irish Pub on Saint Patrick’s Day sounds like a claustrophobic nightmare, but you are desperate to get out of the house.

You don’t have work today, so you sleep in until noon. Let’s face it, you need the extra sleep to be able to make it all night without a midday nap. You lay in bed and scroll on your phone for an hour. When you finally get up, you take a shower, and with your towel draped around you, you search for an outfit. You own exactly 5 articles of clothing that are green. You settle on wearing jeans, a cardigan sweater, and a shirt adorned with a shamrock and text that reads, “Kiss Me I’m Irish.” Cliche as it may be, maybe it will help you get lucky tonight. You haven’t had a proper lay in months.

Just as you’re finishing getting ready, a blue bubble appears on your phone screen. “I’m here,” the text reads. You sigh, and shove your feet into a pair of Chuck Taylors on your way out the door. When you arrive at Paddy’s Pub, the place is only semi-packed. You and your coworker go right to the bar to order your first round. There is a tall, muscular guy manning the bar. He takes your drink orders, and completely ignoring them, he brings back 2 short beers. “Well, when in Ireland…” your coworker says. You clink your mugs together, and you both take a swig.

“That bartender is kind of hot,” she says.

You nod your head in agreement, “Yeah, but I think he’s gay.”

“How would you know?” she asks.

“Just a hunch,” you shrug. You notice another man appear, wearing the same “Paddy’s Irish Pub” shirt as the bartender. He’s a tad shorter than the first guy, but you find him to be much more attractive. You admire him for a moment: beautiful green eyes, brown hair, and brown facial hair to match. Though not as jacked as the tall guy, you consider him to be rather fit. He is so fine. He approaches the tall guy, they chat briefly, and they start walking out from behind the counter.

The tall guy turns to the crowded room and announces, “Attention, everybody. Irish honor system. Please serve yourselves. Put the money in the bucket. Thank you.” Everyone cheers, and the employees disappear behind a door in the back.

“At least now we won’t have to pay for these shitty beers we didn’t order,” you say, and your coworker laughs. You take another drink as you watch the door close behind the men. You two start chatting up a couple of cuties in the bar. They are funny and interesting, but they are getting sloshed pretty quickly due to the free booze. You turn to your coworker, “I’m gonna go to the bathroom,” you say.

As you knew she would, she responds, “Oooh! I’ll go with you.” You both primp yourselves in the mirror. “I was really enjoying those guys, but they’re too drunk now. I hope the hot bartender comes back,” she swoons.

“I hope so too,” you say, thinking of the shorter guy, and not the muscle man.

She turns away from the mirror and faces you, “Okay, how are we going to fairly decide who gets him. Should we let him choose?”

You snap out of your daze, “Oh, no I wasn’t talking about the taller bartender. Did you see the guy he left with? I’ve got my eyes on him.”

“Hell yeah, we’re gonna bone bartenders tonight! It’s like a Saint Patrick’s Day miracle!” she says, a little too loudy. You laugh and shush her.

“So, we just hang around here until they come back?”

“Yes, and when they do, we flirt, but be subtle. Unless they aren’t noticing us, then we shamelessly throw ourselves at them. Sound good?” she offers.

“That works! Playing hard to get is normally how I do it,” you state.

Outside the bathroom, you both see the tall guy heading for the door out of the pub. She approaches him. “Hey you,” she says seductively, and bats her eyelashes at him. “Leaving so soon? I was hoping to get to know you better,” clearly, subtly was out the window.

The tall guy brushes her off, he barely even looks at her. “I have to go to The Rainbow.”

“The Rainbow?” she echoes.

“Yeah, the gay bar. I have to see something,” he says, opening the door. He exits. She looks back at you, stunned but amused, as you approach her.

“You were right about him after all. Well, I’m 0 for 2. Let’s go to The Dugout down the street, some of my girl friends are going. Maybe I won’t strike out there.”

“You go ahead, I’ll meet you guys there in a while. I have to find my wallet,” you mention. You’re not sure what happened to it.

“Okay, but you should still try to sleep with your bartender, too,” she encourages with a wink.

People are leaving in packs despite it still being daylight out. This place is a dud. You search the entire building: under the tables, behind the bar, on the pool table, at the counter, in the bucket. Unfortunately, you’re unable to find your wallet. It’s a good thing you never carry cash on you. Meanwhile, you’re hoping your bartender will come back from wherever it is he went. Your coworker calls, she has made it to the second bar and found her friends. She wants to know when you’re coming and if you had a chance to shoot your shot with the other bartender. You tell her you couldn’t find your wallet and that your guy never came back. You accept defeat, and tell her you are on the way.

You head out of Paddy’s Pub, and start towards The Dugout, when you see the other bartender. He’s wearing a green spandex tank top, and he’s covered in glitter. He actually looks more attractive to you now. You’re happy for him, and you make a mental note to tell your coworker about it. At the new bar, you find her familiar face and join her table. You order a water.

“Get a mojito or something, it’s a national holiday,” she says, slurring her words. You notice she’s sporting a green beaded necklace that she wasn’t wearing before.

“I can’t find my wallet, remember?” you chuckle at her drunkenness.

“Ohhh yeah that. Are you sure you checked everywhere? Retrace your, um, steps. We went to the bathroom, remember that? Did you leave it next to the sink?”

“The bathroom! I didn’t even check there! Do you mind if I…” you start to say.

She shoes you away, and in a terrible, tipsy attempt at an Irish accent, she says, “May the luck of the Irish be with you!”

After you confirm that your coworker has a sober friend nearby, you decide to go back to Paddy’s to look for it again. You walk inside, not a soul to be seen. You hear someone digging around under the bar. You assume it’s the tall, glitter guy.

“Are you guys still open?” you call out to the shoes you see poking out from behind the counter. The noise lifts their knees off the floor and starts to stand.

You hear a man’s voice say, “Not really, sorry. We’re busy doing other stuff now.” Your cheeks turn pink, and they burn hot with timidity as a pair of green eyes meet yours.

You take a few steps toward him, your bartender. Seeing as how he disappeared for so long, you really didn’t think you’d run into him again. “I’m sorry. I-I was here earlier, and I think I left my wallet.”

“Oh, yeah, the leprechaun pickpocketed a bunch of people, but we got everything back from him. Bag’s right over there, go have a look,” he said. You kind of think he is kidding, but he is totally aloof. You dig through a duffle bag full of wallets at the far end of the counter.

“Can I ask you something?” you want to initiate a conversation with the gorgeous stranger.

“Go ahead,” he says, carefully studying a piece of paper.

“Why is your mouth green?” you ask.

“I’ve been drinking green paint,” he says.

“Why would you drink green paint?”

“It’s festive,” he says confidently. You find this charming for some reason, and you giggle. “Find it yet?” he asks.

“No, but I found a phone charger - I actually need this - a condom, and an unopened thing of Tic-Tacs. Is that okay if I keep the phone charger?”

“Take it,” he says, not looking up. He’s still looking down at his paper, becoming visually frustrated.

“Thanks, um, do you need help with something?” you ask, determined to stay.

“Actually, yeah. Can you read this to me? It got these new rat traps and like, I don’t know how to use them. And I can’t read. I’m not dumb, I promise, I’m just not good at words and shit.”

“I would never think you’re dumb.” He hands you the paper, he’s smiling at you. God, even his smile is stunning. He has perfect teeth. You read the instructions to him, and he starts to put the traps around the building. You follow him along, chatting casually. You both enter the women’s bathroom. After he places the trap, he comes out of the stall. “All done,” he says. He then presents a wallet to you, “This yours?”

“My wallet, oh my god! Thank you!” Without even thinking you pull him in for a hug, but you let go fast realizing this total stranger might not want you to touch him. “Oh, sorry. I’m just so happy you found this!”

“I’m glad,” he smiles. You follow him out of the bathroom, stopping as you approach the bar. You hand him the rat trap instructions, “Here’s that back.”

“Thanks,” he sets the paper down, and stretches his arm to the other side of the bar and grabs a beer. “And thanks for reading it for me. No one is usually willing to help me with Charlie work,” he comments, cracking open and sipping the beer.

“Charlie work?”

“Oh, um, right. Charlie, that’s my name, and I set the traps and clean the toilets and stuff. My gang calls it ‘Charlie work.’”

“Oh! Well, I’m happy to do it, Charlie,” you say sweetly. “Here, I’ll give you my number,” you grab a napkin and pen off a table nearby and write down your name and number. “Call me anytime, I’ll help you with Charlie work whenever you want,” you say, as you hand him the napkin. You want him to make the next move because up until now, you’ve just been trying to bait him into conversation, and he seems rather indifferent. You decide you should leave while the ball is in his court. You glance over at the door, “Anyway, I suppose I should head out, since you're done for today. Thank you again for finding my wallet.”

“Well, should I kiss you now then?” he asks. You are startled, and he must see it all over your face because he continues, “Y’know, like your shirt. ‘Kiss me, I’m Irish.’”

“Oh, right, the shirt… Wait, I thought you couldn’t read?” you lightheartedly question.

“Well, yeah, I can’t really. But I have worked in this bar for, like, a while. We see a fuckload of these shirts every year around this time, being an Irish pub and all that. So yeah, I guess I just remember what that says,” he explains.

“Fair enough,” you shrug. “But you can definitely kiss me… if you want to.” you say kind of nervously.

“Are you actually Irish? ‘Cause a lot of people who wear those aren’t really even Irish.”

“I am yeah,” you laugh, “on my father’s side.”

“Right, cool. I’ll kiss you then,” he says nonchalantly. He puts his hands on your waist. You put your arms around his neck. He leans in and gives you a tender, soft kiss on your mouth. You kiss him back.

“Charlie, you’re a really good kisser,” you say, delighted.

He lets out a small laugh, “If you think that’s good…” He grabs you passionately, kissing you harder now. He slips his tongue inside of your mouth. You allow him to discover your mouth, your tongue dancing with his. You are moaning quietly. This is the most action you’ve had in a minute. Things were getting hot and heavy. You and Charlie were groping each other and dry humping. You could feel his hard-on pressed up against you. “You wanna…” he starts to speak. Looking into your eyes, he licks his lips. He has this innocent puppy dog look on his face.

You wish that you could play hard to get, that you could watch him beg for a moment, but you weren’t sure how into you he was. You had to take the opportunity now, “Oh god, yes.” He continues French kissing you.

You can’t believe this is happening, your groin tingles. You take your sweater off, then grab at the sides of his shirt. He parts from your mouth for just a second so you can remove your respective shirts. Then, he immediately puts his lips back where they were. He grabs you by your hips, and guides you backwards toward the counter. He helps you up onto a barstool, and sinks into your body between your legs, his lips never leaving yours. He’s kind of sloppy, but you find him so incredibly sexy that it’s turning you on even more.

You wrap your legs around him, and you kick your shoes off behind his back. You take one of his hands off your hip, and you bring it to your breast. With his other hand, he reaches around to your back. In no time, he has your bra unclasped, and you discard it. He massages your breasts, paying special attention to your nipples. You are moaning, and your underwear are drenched. He puts his face on your breasts, kissing and sucking so gently.

At the same time, he glides his hands down your body, feeling and cherishing every curve. He tugs at your jeans. You reach down to undo your button, so he undoes his own. His pants fall to the floor. You wiggle your pants and underwear off of your bottom, and he pulls them off the rest of the way.

Your mouths remeet. He works his shoes off, and gets the pants away from his ankles. He still has his boxers on, concealing his rock hard cock. You scoot closer to the edge of the barstool to grind up on his clothed penis with your bare pussy. You move your hips side to side ever-so-slightly, creating friction between the two of you. His head falls back and he begins to moan. You plant kisses down his neck, and you suck on the skin near his collarbone, still grinding your hips. “You like that?” you tease.

“I fucking love it,” he breaths out. He puts one hand on the back of your head, and pulls you in to kiss you again. His other hand starts at your knee and works its way up. His fingers lightly tickle the sensitive skin on your inner thigh. You are quivering beneath his touch. He moves his finger through your folds, he stops at your clit and pleasures it. Your back arches, and your head falls back, almost resting on the countertop. He kisses your neck. “Fuck me, Charlie,” you whisper. His finger penetrates you. You let out a loud moan. He slips a second finger inside you, and you grab his face for some more mouth-to-mouth. He moves his fingers in and out of you a few times, hitting your g-spot with every motion. “Fuck yes!” you scream as you orgasm.

When you’re done coming, he goes over to the bag of wallets, “Gimme a second.” You hop down off the stool, and make yourself comfortable on the pool table. “Got it,” he walks over to you, a condom in hand.

“We don’t need that,” you say, bringing him back to his place between your legs and pulling him in for a kiss.

“Um, yeah, okay. Why?” he asks in between kisses.

“I’m clean, are you clean?”

“Yeah, I think so.” You take his word for it.

“Then we don’t need that, and you can just pull out,” you say, nibbling at his ear and brushing your lips across the adorable freckles on his shoulder.

“Cool, whatever works, man,” he comments casually. He finally tears his boxers off as he lets the condom fall to the floor. You lay down on your back, he climbs up on the pool table and hovers over you. He rubs your wetness on his throbbing member. He enters you, and steadily goes deeper and deeper. Once he’s all the way in, you both quietly cry out in ecstasy. He feels so good.

“You’re like, super tight,” he says. You constrict around his erection a little tighter. “Fuck!” he expresses with delight. You smile devilishly at him, he is in awe of you. You flip him onto his back. You loosen up, and ride him. He smacks your ass; his hand lingers, then he squeezes. “Make yourself come,” he demands.

As you bounce up and down on him, he props himself up with one arm, and he sucks on your breasts some more. You rest your chin on the top of his head, and wrap one arm around his back; your other hand grabs onto his hair. “I’m close, I’m really close,” you gasp. He moves his lips to your mouth, and puts his free hand on your nipple and plays with it. You kiss him for a moment, then you come up for air. He bites your lower lip. He’s still tickling your breast, and you’re still humping him. “Oh fuck, Charlie!” you moan as you come for the second time.

Quickly, he flips you over, returning you to your back. He thrusts into you again and again. He begins to slow down; he’s trying to edge you, or himself. Or he’s giving you both time to catch your breath. It doesn’t matter, he’s still inside of you, and that’s all you care about. “This feels nice,” you whisper. He brings his face down to yours, you kiss each other very softly.

“You feel so good, baby,” he says. Then, he gradually moves faster and faster. For several minutes he pounds you hard and rhythmically.

“Don’t stop!” you shout. Your knees quake, and you both climax simultaneously. He pulls his dick out of you at the very last second. Shaking himself, he comes all over your stomach. You breathe a satisfied sigh as you scoot over closer to the edge of the woolen pool table cloth to make room for Charlie. He flops down beside you, and takes a deep breath.

He stares up at the ceiling, “Wow! You were incredible!” He turns his head to look at you. He checks you out from head to toe, and back up.

“So were you,” you say as you nervously toy with your necklace.

“Let me get you something for that,” he says gesturing towards his load on your skin. You help each other clean up the mess. You walk over to the pile of clothes and toss him his boxers. You pull on your own underwear, and find your pants. He picks up his shirt, and he throws your shirt over your head as you are trying to put your jeans on, cracking himself up. You laugh with him, but you throw his pants as hard as you can, he laughs harder. He’s dressed, you're almost done. He helps you put your sweater on. “You’re really hot, we should do that again sometime,” he says.

“Anytime. You have my number,” you remind him, bashfully, and he kisses you once more.

[audreydoeskaren]

do you know Chinese symbolism for homosexuality?

tw homophobia, pedophilia

Hi again, for gay men there are a couple really well known ones but I’m not sure if they were real or fabricated, because all the articles describing them always cite the same couple sources from Antiquity... I tried to verify them but the only articles that didn’t copy and paste from the same source came across as extremely homophobic, so I decided to give up. The most common and reliable one is probably 断袖 or “cut sleeve”, which I mentioned in a previous ask. I would like to use this opportunity to talk about some tangential but more important topics regarding homosexuality in China though.

As a followup to my previous ask where I said I'd look through some Ming and Qing novels to see how homosexuality was perceived at the time, the conclusion I (unfortunately) came to was that homophobia was very much alive and well in Chinese literature and society. A lot of people like to argue that gay people fared pretty well in China historically by either pointing to emperors who were or were rumored to be gay or time periods where gay sex was prevalent as a form of consumption. This is extremely shallow and also kind of Orientalist in my opinion, these arguments always go for the emperors and do not take nuance into consideration or dive into wider societal discourses on homosexuality in imperial China. If you research homosexuality in Europe by only looking at royalty, you’ll find plenty of homosexual behavior too, does that mean gay people had it very easy in Europe historically?? Not to mention that they usually don’t differentiate between dynasties, let alone centuries or decades, even though public opinion on homosexuality in China (or anywhere in the world tbh) could change very quickly. This is also sort of Orientalist, assuming “imperial China” to be a never changing entity with a never changing stance on homosexuality. Since I know nothing prior to the Ming Dynasty I’ll share some of my random findings on homosexuality and homophobia in the Ming, Qing and 20th century.

Gayness as disease

Nowadays the symbol of the cut sleeve is just a benign historical allusion but historically it seems that it was used in a negative and condemning sense, implying that people thought of homosexuality as a disease or deviation from the norm. The common phrase used for the cut sleeve is "断袖之癖", usually translated as "the passion of the cut sleeve" nowadays, but the meaning of the word 癖 here leans more toward "fetish", "obsession" or "hobby" with pathological connotations. I thought maybe this word had a different, nuanced meaning historically but it seems that it was used to describe what it means :(( The only silver lining is probably that with the progression of language it isn’t offensive anymore.

In a lot of popular novels from the Ming and Qing, homosexuality was depicted as a "perversion" and a decadent lifestyle that plagues morality, and gay characters were often either killed or straightened out by the end of the story. An example of this is the story 黄九郎 Huang Jiulang from the series 聊斋志异 Strange Tales from a Chinese Studio by 蒲松龄 Pu Songling written in the 17th century. In this story, one of the protagonists was gay; he died after confessing his love to the other guy in a very fast paced bury your gays arc which somehow reminded me of the Supernatural finale, and reincarnated as a straight man because of his piety. Thanks I hate it. Pu uses the symbol of the cut sleeve to refer to the protagonist, presumably in a negative manner.

Gayness as power/status symbol

Another thing was that historically in China a lot of people confused homosexuality with pedophilia. This is a global thing, but its presence in China is often overlooked. This could be seen in the popularity of another term for homosexuality, "娈童", meaning something similar to "pederasty". I read somewhere that since the late Ming, pederasty was considered a type of tasteful consumption for high society, along with things like fashion, food, music and art. This was not equivalent to the "cut sleeve" or homosexuality as we know it nowadays, which refers to a personal sexual orientation, pederasty historically often refers to an imbalanced power dynamic where a wealthy, privileged man takes advantage of a young boy as a leisurely activity. It’s more to show off that someone in a position of privilege and wealth has the power to procure sexual objects, gender and age don’t matter much in this regard. I cannot help but cringe violently whenever someone brings up pederasty as proof of China’s historical “openness” toward gay people. Talk to me again when in this time and place you could marry someone of your sex (not a minor) and be considered a respectable couple instead of two jerks with a degenerate fetish (not saying that gay people have to marry, it’s just that the ability to do so is an important indicator of equality imo). Pedophilia and homosexuality are not one and the same good heavens.

I hypothesize that the reason why Chinese society was historically homophobic despite having no religious condemnation of homosexual individuals was the idea that having many concubines and male children was a status symbol for men. Women of marriageable age were seen more or less as commodities and male children could supposedly "continue the bloodline" 传香火 and were vessels for passing down prestige, so having them were of utmost importance to a privileged man. Being just gay or lesbian, however, meant that you didn't perform the "man strong working woman weak making babies" heteronormative family prototype, and was thus prone to criticism. When gay men didn’t have children they “couldn’t continue their bloodline” and were emasculated, when gay women didn’t have children they failed to “fulfill their duties as a woman” and were shamed.

It kind of makes sense considering how being bisexual was never a problem in comparison, especially for men. If you were a rich guy who had both male and female partners, you would still have children and concubines both male and female so nobody gives a shit. Emperor Zhengde of the Ming (reign 1505-21) was presumably bisexual and had both male and female lovers, nobody had a bone to pick with that; he famously liked to fuck around but those who criticized him did so for his debauchery instead of focusing on the gender of his partners.  This is different to homophobia in Europe where same sex attraction was considered evil and immoral in and of itself because of religious reasons, in China it was rather the other practical implications of homosexuality (not having children or a family) that attracted hate.

By the way can we just take a moment to talk about bi erasure in Chinese history. From all accounts of Emperor Zhengde I’ve read he comes across as extremely bisexual, but a lot of people try to make him a gay icon? I mean, he liked women too.

One interesting homophobic angle in ye olde China which I find kind of funny was straight women who wanted to climb the social ladder by marrying rich men talking shit about them after figuring out they were gay lmao. Historically, there were not so many work opportunities for women, so the easiest way to improve social standing was to marry a rich and powerful guy. Not saying that women didn't work, they did but their upward social mobility was restricted because they couldn't enter the imperial examination system which was how men became rich and powerful. This angle is relatively benign and kind of helps illustrate that historical Chinese homophobia was indeed fueled by classism and patriarchy.

Gayness as crime

I used to think that there were no anti-sodomy statutes in China (laws prohibiting sex between gay men), but it turns out that there was one decree in the Jiajing era (1521-67) and one in 1740, and private gay sex was not actually decriminalized until 1957. Same sex marriage is still not legal in China at time of writing. I couldn’t find detailed information on what these laws entailed or how they were enforced, but they’re enough to prove that homosexuality in China was legally punishable from the 16th century onward. On top of that, even when there was no law prohibiting private sex acts between people of the same sex, displays of gay affection such as kissing or holding hands could still be legally punished under “public indecency” or “hooliganism”, which was frequently what happened in the 20th century. 

[tkrr]

Some thoughts on the utter shitshow that went down.

First and foremost, if you feel even the slightest need to defend attacking the Gaylor fandom, you are one of the people YNTCD was about. You are shit. You are exactly the kinds of fans she has been trying to shed.

Second, regardless of speculation on who Taylor is dating, sapphic fans have taken her as queer for a number of reasons that boil down to this: she speaks our language like a native. She may not have explicitly spelled it out in Modern Standard Straightish, but she’s made her queerness abundantly clear in her music and public persona. We know our own. We also know that it can be dangerous for even someone as powerful as her to come out. In any case, she very low key, very obliquely came out in “Miss Americana” by pointing out that gay pride is something that defines her; it isn’t clear whether she’s gay or bi, but she has made it clear she isn’t straight. As I said, she speaks our language, and in our language, she’s yelling it from the rooftops. As David Hyde Pierce once said before he officially came out, “My life is an open book. I just choose not to read it to you.”

Anyway, as far as speculation goes, Kaylor is public record as of August 2018. I do not believe E! News is the sort of outfit that would out them without permission; their business model relies too much on access to celebrities. What has happened since then is unclear, though whether or not they’re still together I believe they’re still close. I get the sense at this point that she and Joe Alwyn are also good friends at this point, but they are not and have never really been together behind the scenes. I’m not going to get into my speculation on the relationship between her and Halsey; you can go back through my posts if you want to know how I feel about that.

If there’s any one thing to take away from “Miss Americana”, it’s that Taylor struggles with a feeling of needing to be a people pleaser. She probably had to straightwash “betty” for country radio, but it is still unmistakably a queer narrative, and James is definitely a girl because of who they’re named after. It is also a fictional narrative that as far as we know isn’t based on any particular experience in her life. So here’s the takeaway:

You are not defending Taylor by insisting she or her song narratives are straight. There is nothing here to defend her from. She is telling two stories about her life, one straightwashed for public consumption, one coded for her queer fans to let us know she’s one of us and supports us even if, for whatever reason, she can’t fully come out. It’s called dogwhistling. You usually hear that term in the context of right-wing propaganda, but non-shitty people do it too sometimes. Especially if they have a lot to lose by being explicit about something.

I don’t know if Taylor will ever make a statement on the harassment and doxxing, but she shouldn’t need to. She has been so vocal about her liberal politics and support for the LGBT community that it should be obvious that anyone who takes actions of that nature is no true fan of hers.

GET THE FUCK OVER IT. We have receipts by the bucket. We have every reason to believe that she is deliberately putting this out there. We. Know. Our. Own.

[desperateground]

since we're doing anti discourse i guess: the antis ive seen on their own blogs (as opposed to other blogs askboxes) seem more concerned with media that portrays pedophilia in a positive light, as that very much can influence people into thinking it isn't THAT bad. If portrayed as the bad thing it is, they dont mind. Personally, do you see a difference in something that goes "heres an adult in love with a child, how sweet" as opposed to "heres an adult in love with a child, isnt that fucked up?"

under a cut cause this got long

I would love to be on the internet where you are, because it sounds a lot more reasonable than the one I live on, where stuff like this just makes me go ???

the thing is that fiction actually does influence people’s perceptions of reality, and we ought to care about that! if a person grows up watching movies where cops break the rules but it’s OK because they’re the good guys; or where stalkerish and manipulative behavior counts as “grand romantic gestures” that obligate a woman to date a man; or where Black people are depicted as uneducated and violent, of course that is going to color their opinions of the world.

and there are a lot of really good conversations being had about issues like that, and we absolutely need to have those conversations about responsible media creation and consumption. this power can be used for good as well as for evil. many people cite shows like Will & Grace as helping turn the tide of public opinion against seeing “homosexuality” as deviant and instead seeing gay people as “normal” and “lovable” and “relatable.” superman was a beloved enough All-American Hero that a storyline where he fights the KKK is credited with helping turn the KKK from a mainstream fraternity into something seen as a fringe hate group.

so i would agree that a giant wave of media with positive depictions of pedophilia would be concerning. 

however, we do not currently live in a world where “here’s an adult in love with a child, how sweet” is a major issue in media narratives such that people are absorbing the attitude that pedophilia is fine, cool, and good.

in fact, pedophilia is such a hated subject that we have a whole political movement in my country based on people calling anyone they dislike a “pedophile” and accusing them of all sorts of depraved shit involving children. most people who have sexual inclinations toward children are fully aware that these desires are at odds with society and that they will become pariahs if these desires were known to others.

(In fact, this level of ostracization can put people at a higher risk of offending, because they feel hopeless, have nowhere to turn for support, and figure if they’re going to be a pariah anyway, they may as well do the one thing they can think of that feels good. Forcing conversations about this to go completely underground means that you end up with awful groups like nambla dominating the conversation and convincing lost, lonely, frightened people to hop on board with their dangerous attitudes. if the only people safe to talk to about this stuff are people who will excuse, justify, encourage, and promote offenses against children, it makes sense that people would end up in their grip. You can read more here and here.)

much of the “media” that these “antis” are up in arms about is fan created content intended for a small population. the people creating content that riles up antis generally recognize that this is not mainstream content and use things like tags and content warnings to set it aside from other content. the notion that certain tropes in fanworks are going to bring about a massive cultural shift is a bizarre slippery-slope argument, and i think people's energy would be better focused on problems that are actually currently existing rather than a potential future where a few tags on ao3 have become dominant themes in network television and blockbuster movies. 

another issue here is that when an “anti” uses the term “pedophilia,” it’s completely unclear what they are actually referring to. a reasonable person would assume that they mean “a sexual relationship between an adult and a child,” but the definitions of “adult,” “child,” and “sexual relationship” have gotten so blurry within this discourse that it’s impossible to determine what’s being discussed. i’ve seen people claim that any relationship is inherently “pedophilic” if the characters have any sort of age gap, if there is any sort of power imbalance, if they both belong to the same “found family,” or even if one looks younger in appearance.

so when someone says “fictional narratives that depict pedophilia in a positive light,” they may actually be referring to “fictional narratives that depict any relationship I don’t like,” which is such a vague and meaningless statement that it becomes completely useless.

finally, your actual question is whether I personally see a difference between stories where the narrative perspective seems to critique the relationship vs stories where the narrative perspective romanticizes the relationship. i think your question is...hard to answer, because there is just too much there.

first off, it’s not always easy to tell whether a story is “vilifying” vs “glamorizing” something. people watch movies like fight club and take away very different thematic messages about whether the protagonist is someone to admire and emulate. if we say that depictions of abuse are only “good” or “allowed” if the narrative clearly portrays the abuse as “fucked up,” then we’re going to have to establish a High Court of AP English Teachers to determine exactly what narrative devices are employed and how, and that’s just...not...workable.

also, some people like the “fucked up”-ness of these stories; if you’re trying to say that something is bad if people “enjoy it” or “get off” on it or “indulge” in the darkness of the content, then it doesn’t matter if the story itself is wagging its finger at the naughty, naughty reader. the taboo, the erotic, and the deviant are, and have always been, wrapped up in each other. you can depict something as “bad” and yet still “fun;” it becomes a useless distinction when talking about sexual content. 

do i personally see a difference, when it comes to my own enjoyment? yeah, absolutely. i stopped watching game of thrones not because it included rape, but because the way the cinematography, musical score, etc. made it clear that the show was expecting me to feel a certain way about those images, and i didn’t appreciate that. i also didn’t appreciate the directorial decision to give more dignity to a dog’s death by cutting to black than to violence against women. i would probably not enjoy a book or movie that’s just about how awesome and fun it is to hurt people; though i did like clockwork orange - i found the narrator abhorrent, but interesting.

but i think trying to split hairs about what does and doesn’t count as Problematic or Allowable Content, or trying to tell people that what they create and/or consume is Bad and they are Bad for doing it, because its inclusion of dark themes is Doing It Wrong - it’s not helpful. it’s impossible to develop a standard for what is “doing it wrong vs doing it right” that makes any sense, and even if you did, enforcing it through campaigns of hatred and social vilification is not going to be effective. 

[somanysigns-13]

Part 2: 1989 - The start of Kaylor lyrics?

Welcome to New York

* you can want who you want boys and boys and girls and girls - pretty self explanatory here

This Love - Taylor and Karlie have to pretend to be with other people even though they want to be with each other:

* silent screams/wildest dreams...see seven and my tears ricochet on folklore - this isn’t really new territory for Taylor, she’s likely had these feelings for girls starting when she was younger based on future lyrics and even past songs and how she likes to sing from the “male” perspective

* These hands had to let it go free and this love came back to me ...Karlie back and forth between her and Josh

* Lantern burning flickered in my mind for only you ...see cardigan on folklore...she refers to love as a flame quite often

* This love is good/this love is bad/this love is alive/back from the dead.....the internal struggle of being gay but it being considered “wrong” or a “sin” even though it makes you happy and the fact that they have to hide it

* This love left a permanent mark...see Dress - a golden tattoo/ this love is glowing in the dark (hidden)

* Your kiss, my cheek I watched you leave.... Pictures from Big Sur trip...Karlie has to keep going back to Josh to keep up the cover

* When you’re young, you just run but you come back to what you need...Maybe Taylor has always had an attraction to girls and she tried to run from the facts, but eventually she had to accept it to be happy (see seven on folklore)

I Know Places

* You stand with your hand on my waist line It's a scene and we're out here in plain sight ...Karlie and Taylor have been very touchy feely since they met it seems. They never hid it and I’m sure it was exciting for them to be sort of carefree with it being a “best friend” thing..sorry but the only time I was ever that flirty with a friend was when I had a crush on them!

* I can hear them whisper as we pass by It's a bad sign, bad sign Something happens when everybody finds out ... It’s no surprise that people are going to talk and speculate when it’s that obvious and that could be it’s undoing

* Love's a fragile little flame, it could burn out It could burn out... What could happen if they move too fast and aren’t ready for the possible backlash especially seeing as Taylor is pretty fresh off the country scene

* 'Cause they got the cages, they got the boxes And guns, they are the hunters, we are the foxes (cages and hunting-recurring themes..used heavily in later songs and also a reference to her zodiac sign)...All the damn closed minded people with their opinions on who’s allowed to love who. Also the paparazzi and people with cell phones and cameras trying to catch them being happy and in love to get the story. And they are attractive women (foxes)

* Lights flash and we'll run for the fences...Trying to hide from the spotlight and attention that will be on them

* Let them say what they want, we won't hear it ..She doesn’t care what her management teams thinks right now, she’s in love...a smitten kitten if you will ;)

* Loose lips sink ships all the damn time, not this time...She’s going to keep things locked down as far as their actual relationship (not friendship) goes

* Just grab my hand and don't ever drop it ...As long as Karlie is by her side she’s good to go

New Romantics:

* We wait for trains that just aren’t coming... another recurring subject with Taylor…trains. Are trains a metaphor for life paths? Where sometimes you feel you have no control much like being on a train and not being the conductor?

* We show off our different scarlet letters, trust me mine is better

* scarlet letter = sin of the heart

* Trust me mine is better = being gay

* We’re so young but we’re on the road to ruin/we play dumb but we know exactly what we’re doing...Likely what Taylor and Karlie are being told by management teams - don’t throw away your future by coming out now, you’re too young, this might not last etc etc

* Honey life is just a classroom ...also see Miss Americana & the Heartbreak Prince She uses classroom and school like analogies often...Could it be a metaphor for being in the entertainment/music industry? For example in Miss Americana and the Heartbreak Prince she says “The whole school is rolling fake dice” - is this her way of saying just about everything we see in public for most celebrities, or at least people in her circle, is fake...orchestrated by PR teams?

* Every day is like a battle but every night with us is like a dream... Maybe fights with her management team over their relationship but when she’s alone with Karlie it’s all worth it

* We’re all here, the lights and noise are blinding we hang back it’s all in the timing... They are creating the public diversion to hid their relationship until it’s the right time for them to come out

* It’s poker, he can’t see it in my face but I’m about to play my ace.. Another common theme..poker and games (Cornelia Street/Cruel Summer etc)...The guy she’s using as a beard, maybe the management team knows something about so they can make him sign an NDA to go along with the plan (also see cowboy like me)

* We need love but all we want is danger we team up and switch sides like a record changer ...They have to keep going back and forth between their private and public (bearded) lives

* The rumors are terrible and cruel but honey most of them are true... The media is picking up on the relationship between her and Karlie but all they are are rumors…but clearly where there’s smoke there’s fire and these rumors are true

* Heart break is the national anthem we sing it proudly we are too busy dancing to get knocked off our feet (another MAATHBP link)..They’re going to go along with the beards and story lines to keep what they have

* The best people in life are free...free of contracts, management teams, and PR teams and the need to project themselves for public consumption so they can love as they wish

* Please take my hand and please take me dancing please leave me stranded it’s so romantic... things they must do to stay together, while not romantic at face value, they do what they have to do publicly so they can be together privately which is romantic in its own way

[charcubed]

Something I don't think enough people ask themselves regarding celebrities: who is the "coming out" performance/ritual for? If a celebrity simply exists as a queer person without that, does that diminish their own queerness? I think some people would answer "yes" and those are the people that make me mad. It's a complicated question for sure, but privacy does not equal a need for an assumption of heterosexuality.

SPEAK ON IT, ANON. I could not agree more!!!!!!

Also: I’d add that while privacy does not equal a need for an assumption of heterosexuality, nor should people demand a celebrity “come out” because they think they know the celebrity best (???). Which is what you’re basically saying, but I’m just adding that coda because like... it drives me CRAZY that people speculate about celebrities’ sexualities to the point of harassing them or making bad jokes especially where they can fucking see them on social media. Social media is not the harmless echo chamber people think it is, especially with Twitter. Stuff does not hide.

One example in particular I’m thinking of is Shawn Mendes. People loooovvee to say–for no good fuckin’ reason–that he’s queer, usually with crude or cruel undertones about him being closeted. To the point where he’s gone on the record in interviews about how much anxiety it’s given him, not because being gay is a bad thing, but because of how that scrutiny makes him feel and makes him second-guess his decisions in ways that he hates. That’s absolutely bullshit and makes me black out with rage. It’s not our BUSINESS to speak on people’s sexualities or overanalyze their every action!!!! 

(this ask is in reference to this post)

Jensen and Misha are a different case (per linked post) because like... they require no over-analysis, they’ve been acting Like This for over a decade in their bubble primarily on con stages on their own terms (this is key), and could at any time have dissuaded people from making the obvious conclusions if it made them uncomfortable but instead they’ve only encouraged those conclusions. If you think they’re heterosexuals, that’s on you. But this doesn’t transfer over automatically to other situations, and it’s not the same as something like harassing Shawn Mendes, or having fucking One Direction "ships” that negatively affected friendships, or any of that–all of which no one has any business doing.

And to route back to your point: God forbid one of the celebrities that the public sticks under a microscope is queer, and doesn’t feel the need to “come out” with a label and participate in that ritual, but they are forced to do so because of scrutiny and this damaging culture surrounding these sorts of topics. Oh, wait, hang on... that’s right... that literally happened to Lee Pace. And others too.

So yeah. Big mood. Great rule of thumb? Other people’s lives are not our business. If they’re out there Being Queer But Unlabeled, we can acknowledge that (because we have eyes and brains) without assuming heterosexuality, and then move on without perpetually making a Thing of it and forcing them to address it in so many words. And regardless... privacy and responsible discussions (or lack thereof) in the public sphere is key. Always.

Celebrities are not characters and their lives, beyond what they care to willingly share, do not exist for our consumption.

[lavenderek]

So you're saying you don't think "underage" fic is gross. Is that what youre saying?

well, no. yuck. what i’m saying is, what exactly and specifically do we want to happen?

there should not be explicit fic about underage characters, got it. so what age can they not be under? 18? 16? what country’s laws regarding the age of consent do we prioritize? like, i think it’s gross that the age of consent is 16 in some places, but i’m an american, so i would, wouldn’t i? so ok, what if we hedged it a bit and put the age as like, 14? that way it’s not little kids, it’s all teenagers. but no, gross, 14-year-olds are children. fun fact: so are 16-year-olds. they are also children.

what about fic about two teenagers having a consensual encounter? should all romantic or sexual fic have to be about adults only? your answer to this may very well be “yes,” and that’s completely valid. a teenager writing fic might disagree. somebody who’s a big fan of a show that’s about a bunch of teenagers might disagree. should there be an adults-only section on the site? there’s already a “stop, you have to be 18″ box to check before you can access explicit fic, so how do we verify a user’s age? they can just lie about their age and click through anyway. you have to be 18 to make a youtube account and i’ve had one since i was 13. i remember very deliberately choosing a new birth year when it asked for my birthdate.

then you get to slightly greyer areas like large age gaps, or heavy role play between consenting adults. i have absolutely witnessed fic that’s clearly written to be CP, but it’s tagged as age play. so like, for all intents and purposes this is CP, but if you roll in like “hey, this is fucked up,” they can be like, “oh, so you read this picturing actual children, sicko?? you have a problem with two adults doing shit in the bedroom??? how dare you!!! don’t like don’t read!!!”

it’s kind of like on porn sites, how they make like nasty inc*st stuff but call it “stepmom” or whatever, like oh, they’re not actually related! sure, joseph, thanks for covering all your bases

so we can’t ban kinks. or can we? should we limit depictions of serious addictions or domestic abuse too? torture, or even body horror? these are generally accepted to be dark content.

i’m not trying to engage in whataboutism, i’m naming actual, relevant questions about shit that’s disturbing in real life (no offense to kink people who follow codes of consent and conduct) and can be incredibly upsetting to encounter online. shit that i can’t imagine wanting to read, let alone write.

these are the questions that we, you, i, people pro-a*3 and people anti-a*3, are all asking, and not a single one of us can or should answer them unilaterally.

so it’s like, oh, okay, so there should be no oversight at all? should there be no rules? no, obviously, that would be horrible, i don’t trust any of these fuckers to conduct themselves civilly. so there should be some rules, but not too many rules. that’s what we have now, and clearly the way things are now isn’t working because a lot of users are reasonably very upset.

should there be a voting system, and rules are set by a popular vote? should certain words be flagged and you can’t post the fic with that word in it? should there be a thing where when you post a fic, you have to select the ages of each character and that’s listed at the top of the fic? what if they age during the fic? should there be a flagging function, where you report someone for not using sufficient tags? users will find workarounds for all of this. you know they will. so mods will have to be very specific about the rules and introduce, like, a vetting system for it. which is a lot more manpower and a lot more chances for subjective judgments.

all of the above is why it operates on a tagging system instead. i’m gonna be real, i only go on a*3 to read comments on my own shit lmao, and even when i did go on there more often i never went in the tags searching for fic. so is there a blacklist function? is there a flagging function?

if there is a flagging function, maybe they make it so that if the flagged user has violated the rules, their account is suspended and their fic made private for the duration and until they add necessary tags.

cool, a compromise. but uh-oh, it turns out Mod A agrees that this fic is n*ncon, but Mod B thinks it’s just vague, not n*nconsensual, and doesn’t feel comfortable banning the fic. or it turns out User didn’t post anything flaggable, they were reported by somebody who is targeting them for some reason, or by someone who is more stringent about n*ncon than somebody else would be, like, it’s gotta be enthusiastic and verbal consent or else it’s skirting the edges too much.

it’s like, we’ve already witnessed censorship (please take this word usage gently, i know it’s touchy but it’s the word to use here) being a problem here on tumblr with their stupid nipple ban. there’s a double standard regarding whose nipples are explicit and whose are kosher for public consumption. people have to appeal their shit getting flagged and sometimes nothing gets fixed regardless. i’m sure other people are pleased that there’s less of a chance of them accidentally scrolling past a picture of a hard dick at work.

so you get it, this is a problem that’s more complicated than “all of x should be banned and if you post it there’s something wrong with you,” a belief you’re more than entitled to hold but can’t base, like, fanfic legislation off of. you get it you get it.

you get it, but like, what is the fucking deal with those “fandom moms” who go off on soliloquies about the days of old or whatever the fuck whenever this topic comes up? what about the weirdos who are like, “what’s next, banning gay fic????” yeah, if we allow gay marriage you can marry a tree, that’s how it works, thanks tiffany.

but no, the reason they do this is NOT that they think lgbtq content is comparable in any way to CP. the reason they do this is that this exact problem has taken place on every site that has ever hosted fic. and many previous sites did think lgbtq content was comparable to CP. it was categorized as adult content and hidden.

that’s why a*3 exists in the first place. it was to avoid godmodding and absolutism. it’s supposed to be more or less self-governed. i don’t want there to be CP on a*3 any more than you do, but i also don’t trust randos to decide what is and isn’t acceptable content. this topic is not new.

i’m in support of stronger government regulation in real life because it can be argued that certain actions and systems violate human rights. everybody deserves food and shelter, for example. the same can’t be argued in this case because some creep writing CP doesn’t violate my rights. i find it offensive and i don’t think they should be writing it, but my right to click the back button is intact. there is no institution making it impossible or even difficult for me to not read fanfiction. the creep could just as reasonably argue that their right to post what they want is being affected.

why is this response so long? is it because i can’t shut up? yes, but also because this is a complex issue and that’s why nobody has taken significant action on it.

people are also big mad.

i’ve never understood this impulse to see somebody not doing a thing you want them to do and assume it’s out of malice or incompetence, anyway. i don’t know anybody who volunteers for a*3 but it’s my assumption that given the choice to have us all pissed at them, or have us all not pissed at them, they would choose to have us not be pissed at them. it just seems like the reasonable reaction to have. and like, i’d be pretty shocked to part the kimono and find out they’re all CP-loving gargoyles and a*3 actually stands for A lot Of child abus3. that is the reason i have not been like, “fuck a*3.” because what are they supposed to do, you know?

there’s no simple or inarguably morally right solution here. the princess is in another castle. just post fic on tumblr, i guess? make another hosting site that’s exactly like a*3 but romantic characters can only be like, 21?

i actually think the legal age in the US should be raised to 21, not joking. your brain literally and biologically isn’t finished developing at 18. teenagers lack the world experience to make decisions that adults make.

somewhere there is an 18-year-old or a person who moved out and became self sufficient at 18 who hates this sentiment. there’s a teenager in an abusive home who would be intensely demoralized by the prospect of having to remain beholden to these people for three more years.

and there’s a parent who is relieved to know that their kid can’t be preyed on by army recruiters for three more years. there’s a person who got into a car crash with a teenager who misjudged whether or not they could make a turn who’s like, yeah, she could probably have benefited from a few more years.

nothing is as simple as it should be. i agree with you, but i’m not willing to pass blanket judgments with regards to actions that should be taken. and honestly, given how little i actually go on the site, i don’t even have a dog in this fight. so all my opinions on it are moot anyway.

(side note, if you are in an abusive home and you can’t make your own bank account, or if your bank account is monitored by your abusive parents, maybe try venmo? you can get a debit card that pulls directly from your venmo balance. a surprising number of places accept venmo payments, and this way you can save up money in secret.)

anyway uhhhhh seeya

[1ddiscourseoftheday]

🏳️‍🌈 Sun 1 Mar 🏝

But Daddy I Love Him!

Pictures and video of Harry from New Year's Eve were posted last night- he's barefoot and happy looking and wearing the above quoted, extremely gay, t-shirt. The fandom, split down the middle as ever, had a couple main reactions: many went for the obvious one (omg that's SO GAY HARRY), but the initial reaction from the het harrie crowd was uh not what I expected: "omg how relatable I too love him (Harry) I gotta buy that shirt!" It sold out instantly but I hope everyone enjoyed shopping from the online store it was purchased from as much as Harry probably did- perhaps they instead bought one of the store's other shirts, such as Live Fast Eat Ass, or Suck Dick Spend Money, or Faggots Are Fantastic, or maybe the one that just says 'gay gay gay gay' all over it. Whatever shirt anyone might choose to buy from them it will, like Harry's, have the inside tag reading "this shirt makes you look gay." I wonder if he acquired the shirt during the Little Mermaid hype times and thought it was hilarious- we always did say they should have had him up for the part of Ariel (who originally said that phrase.) People have different ideas about whose eyes the shirt was intended for but does it matter? Either he was wearing this very explicitly gay shirt for public consumption, which says something fairly unmistakeable, or this is what he wears when people aren't looking which says, hmm, the same thing but with even less room for misinterpretation.

Lots of interview content (and a lot more coming tomorrow). Harry said that he doesn't like to say exactly what his songs are about because he's had songs he loved be ruined for him by finding out they weren't about what he had grasped onto. Then an interview filmed the previous day came out where he's like okay yeah so lemme tell what each of these songs are about, here's what the video signifies... what is the truth Harold? He even waffles about waffling, the little demon. He also said "I'm wet all the time" about his videos and photo shoots and that "it's about birth" and he continues to tick his way down the list of fic AUs in answer to the question what would you be if not a musician- today's answer, "a virgin."

Heartbreak Weather Watch today: No Judgement! We already know that one but today's vid features some bare chest so there's that to keep people interested if the not-mysterious song doesn't do it. Niall did TWO (2) instagram lives today from his darkened living room. He said he plans to write a lot of music while he's on tour and talked about bonus tracks Dress and Nothing saying not to be fooled by them only being on the target edition of the album, they're both very important to the HBW story (and that "Nothing is loud"-why must he have so many song titles on this album that are just words or places and therefore really confusing to talk about?? Why.) He says he "thought" No Judgement should have been a number one- does the past tense mean they've abandoned that goal? He's still telling us to stream a lot...

And Liam said goodbye to Paris, probably thinking the pics from there had already come out which they hadn't so we were like umm? You were in Paris?? But after a bit the pap pics came out, of him attending a fashion party, seemingly unaccompanied.

[hopeandtruth]

Blind Date Event

WHO: Hope Clarington and Seth Evans (@xsethappeal) WHAT: Blind Date WHEN: Friday Evening, July 16th, 2021 WHERE: Breadstix TRIGGERS: Alcohol consumption, allusions of past abuse WORD COUNT: 2,965

Hope had no idea why she was here. Mainly for an eventual laugh, she supposed. Lima hosting a singles night was basically a way to get all the millennials and some Gen Z into Breadstix so they could have a really good night of profits, there was no two ways about it, yet, here she was.

Hope hadn't even been on a single date since she got to Lima, hadn't even hooked up. The last time she even looked at another person would have been in Italy or Paris or something, and she couldn't even remember it. All the world travelling, even with the writing and as much as she'd talked about it, there were large chunks missing from her memory because she hadn't wanted to think about anything. So, here she was, on a stupid blind date at Breadstix, pretty sure she was going to regret the whole thing tomorrow.

Approaching her table she could already see the man who was going to be sharing her time with her and she considered just ... leaving before he saw her too. That would ruin the fun though, so she sat and smiled. "Surprised you took the time off for a date, but I guess it could have been worse."

The fact that Anna had somehow convinced him to do this was… ridiculous. He didn’t date, not since they broke up. He wasn’t into monogamy or really relationships, so going to this on a Friday when he could make way better tips at work was clearly due to his inability to say no to Anna.

Seth was always early for things, including things he didn’t really want to do. He’d already ordered a drink, though it was rather weak compared to the ones he made. He sipped it and sighed as he waited.

When he locked eyes as Hope fucking Clarington started to walk towards him, he groaned, but put on a charming smile, playing the part once she got to the table. “Unless tonight goes incredibly well, I can still probably be at work by 10.” He chuckled, “I’m shocked to see you here at all. A Clarington slumming it with the rest of us.

Hope huffed a laugh of sorts at the cheap shot, a the only kind Seth Evans would be able to afford anyway. "You're almost cute," she replied, still smiling, not yet giving him a signature sneer, "has anyone ever told you that?"

Hope quickly ordered a bottle of wine, not intending to share but she didn't protest when the wait staff brought two glasses. "So," she said, pouring herself a glass, a little fuller than it needed to be, "why are you here?"

“I’ve been called cute with assurance, both drunk and sober, I don’t hear almost very often.” He winked, taking a sip of his water.

He ordered himself some Johnnie Walker on the rocks, leaning back. “Because my best friend wanted to come and I’m here for moral support. I don’t date.” As he got his drink, he took a sip. “Why are you here?”

Hope was thankful when he didn't touch the wine, not that she wouldn't have just eventually ordered more, but it felt more like a game of dominance right now and neither was giving in. It was almost fun, at least for the time being.

She shrugged at his question, not really having much more of an answer than he did, almost made her wonder if the people who did the pairing did this intentionally. "Figured why not. I'm told I don't do enough 'normal' things, so why not try it out before I inevitably regret it tomorrow."

“So you choose to come to a mediocre restaurant, with mediocre food, mediocre people, minus a handful that I’m close with, and drink mediocre wine?” He quirked an eyebrow, taking another sip of his drink, before waving to the bartender to order himself another.

“Well, I’m sorry that I’m well above mediocre and have exceeded your expectations for ‘normalcy’, Ms Clarington. I’m not really capable of being ordinary or boring.”

Hope feigned interest as he spoke, but the more he went on about mediocrity, the harder it was to do. The confidence was interesting though, it seemed pretty real. For how big a lot of the people around Lima acted, there were few that could actually walk the walk after talking the talk, and deep down, Hope was one who could struggle with it lately, she was just a hell of a lot better at pretending than most of the world. Fake it til you make it was essential when someone had been through what she'd survived.

"Technically, I have to be the judge of that, Mr. Evans," she told him back smartly. "You never know when people will lie to you for a simple lay."

“In the 15 years I’ve been getting laid, never once have I lied to get into someone’s bed.” He finished his drink just as the second one arrived. “People who have to lie to get laid aren’t even worth the time. I like genuine people, real people. Not the kind who would tell you want you want to hear so you take off your pants, or will do whatever they’re expecting.”

He leaned back, looking her over - she may be a bitch, but even he had to admit she was hot. He wouldn’t tell her that though. “If people don’t like genuine me, that’s on them. Not me.”

The confidence was real and it was growing more intimidating by the minute, and Hope had no idea how to deal with it. This was someone who came from nothing, realistically had nothing, no doubt less than 2 paycheques from homelessness much like the rest of the world, and he didn't seem to care. It didn't make a lot of sense.

The genuine him, huh? Hope wasn't even sure she knew the genuine her, let alone liked her all that much, so there was no way she was going to let other people try and get there.

"I'm sure all those nights in the backroom at Scandals have been incredibly genuine, I think that's absolutely wonderful."

“I don’t hook up in the back room all that often. I’m usually working, and I don’t do anything that unprofessional while I’m working. I may “just” be a bartender at a small town gay bar, but I take my job seriously because I love it. So, yeah, on nights off I sometimes have fun, but I’m much more into sex outside of my place of work.”

He crossed one leg over the other, “and I remember the name and face of every person I hook up with. Even if I never see them again, I remember them.”

Hope wanted so badly to be bored, but, much to her dismay, Seth was almost interesting. He held himself highly, without having the ego that most of the company she usually kept. She wasn’t sure if she believed he knew the name and face of all his conquests, but she had no room to dispute it, so she didn’t.

“You might remember them,” she shot with a small grin, leaning back, “but I guess the real question is if they remember you.”

Seth chuckled into his drink, taking another sip. His blue-green eyes looking at her. “I have a good memory for things. Some people don’t. We have fun in the moment and that’s honestly the most important part. One night hook ups are meant for that. Just fun. It’s not a relationship.”

He shrugged, ordering himself some spinach dip. “My goal is to make people feel good for a night. Or whatever time of day we’re having fun. That’s all I care about.”

Seth's stare was a little unnerving. Sure, people usually looked, or even stared, but not like this. They were only a few feet apart and she didn't have much to hide behind, except her words, which didn't have too much of an effect on him.

Hope took a long sip of her wine, she didn't have a response and didn't want to give him the satisfaction of knowing that.

"Well, everyone has a talent, I suppose," she told him finally.

Seth wasn’t used to being around people who didn’t have a comeback for him. Anyone at scandals always did, so seeing Hope, this woman who seemed to be stoic and reserved, yet also had the reputation of the opposite, was a change of pace.

“I have plenty of talents, but I doubt you’re interested enough to hear about them.”

He was baiting her, that much she was sure of. It was pretty damn close to infuriating. Hope wasn’t used to not having the upper hand and she certainly didn’t like it.

“You can try me,” Hope retorted, raising a brow. “But if I start to doze off, that’s on you.”

“Some of them are more of a show than tell, but I can’t do some of those things in public, unless I crawl under the table.” He winked, smirking, “but I’m 6’1, so I don’t really fit.”

He took another sip of his drink. “I play guitar and sing, I mix the best drinks in town. I’m good at sports, and was probably second or third in my class in high school. I also know a lot about cars.”

Hope did her best not to react at how sure he sounded. He knew he had the upper hand here and it showed. It got a little easier when the chat was less suggestive, thank fuck.

“You almost had me interested there,” she confessed, looking at him through her eyelashes, the exact way she knew worked. “Last I checked I didn’t care about cars, I’m smart too, I know how to mix my own drink with my own liquor, and musics just music.”

Seth rolled his eyes, “bully for you.” He ordered himself another drink, looking across the table at her. “So, what do you find interesting, Ms Ivy League Trust fund?”

That shouldn't have been a hard question, and it wasn't for most. But ever since she'd left New York, Hope wasn't really someone who did a lot of of interest rather than need. She needed to get the hell out of there and she needed her family to never know what kind of condition she left in. "Travelling," was her instant answer, "I did a lot of it for a couple years after I left New York. I wrote for a lot of magazines, making sure I always had somewhere else to go."

Hope found him interesting, but there was no way in Hell she was going to tell him that.

Seth smiled, “we do have something in common.” He leaned a bit closer, “I like to travel too. I did a big road trip across the country a few years back. I really want to go to India at some point too. I have a long bucket list of places I want to go before I die.”

Hope knew that she had to take back the control somehow, so she reached for her purse and threw a couple bills on the table, knowing it way more than covered the bill and she stood. She started towards the door before quickly turning around, "you are coming, right?" she asked, as innocently as possible, but anyone would know it was anything but.

He had to admit that this response caught him off-guard. Being paired with Hope had not led him to even consider the possibility of them going home together, and yet, clearly, that was where her mind had gone. He also had never had a woman cover his bill before. He shrugged and stood up, “taking me back to your coven for a sacrifice? I’ll have you know I’m not a virgin.” He smirked.

"I guess you'll have to wait and see," Hope told him as they left the restaurant. "I Uber'd here, busted car and all, so unless you drove, will that work for you?" Hope didn't really want to get into a car with someone she didn't know very well, so if need be, she'd just meet him at her place.

He chuckled, shaking his head, “of course I drove. It’s a pick up truck though, you sure you’re okay with that?” He cocked a brow, eyes washing over her. “I promise you I’m not secretly the modern day Ted Bundy.”

"Absolutely not," Hope told him immediately. "So, you have one of two choices, leave it here for ... who knows how long, I haven't decided, or, take it home and I can pay for an Uber, it's up to you." Hope was sure nothing would go wrong, but, there also was no way in Hell she was stepping foot in his pick-up truck.

He rolled his eyes, “the princess doesn’t like trucks. Shocker.” He sighed, “I guess I can leave her here. I’ll come back whenever and pick her up.” He had a relatively new truck, it was clean, nice. 2017. But he wasn’t exactly shocked she was so against it. “Guess I’m getting in an Uber with a woman who could be a black widow for all I know.”

"You had a choice, you know," Hope replied, doing her best not to sound too annoyed at his annoyance. "I said you could do whatever and you're choosing to ride with me anyway, and it's not too harder to figure out why," she continued giving him a once over.

Pulling out her phone, she ordered and Uber and was given a quick estimate, perks of so many people being preoccupied right now.

“Ride in the Uber with another person, or do it alone and risk being murdered. At least in pairs we’re less likely to be a target.” He shrugged, thinking his logic was pretty sound. “Im used to driving myself, I don’t think I’ve ever used Uber in my life…”

"You're acting like you're in a big city and using the Subway for the first time, don't be such a baby, it's making you far less appealing," Hope sighed, still looking at her phone. The less she gave him, the more power she had, at least in her opinion. They were using her mode of transport, going to her apartment, and she'd paid. Everything was in her favour.

“No, I’m acting like someone who watches a lot of serial killer documentaries with his best friend.” He sighed, leaning against a nearby wall. “Im also almost never a passenger in a car.”

"Well that sounds like you're just setting yourself up for paranoia," Hope shrugged taking a step towards him, looking up at him. "I figure you can get over this little ... issue for one night, right?"

Seth always loved a good height difference, and considering he was 6’2, they were rather common for him. He smiled down at her, “it’s not an issue, but yes, I can get over it for one night, Princess.”

Hope smirked up and bit her lip, staring a moment too long, before sharply turning away to greet the Uber driver that had just arrived. Confirming he was who he was supposed to be, Hope got in without hesitation and waited for Seth expectantly.

In all his life, Seth had never taken a cab or an Uber. In a town like Lima he never needed to, and when he travelled, he’d done it by car. He took a moment before getting in, shooting Anna a text just so someone knew where he was going. The Uber was cleaner than he expected… even had a new car smell.

“Texting your girlfriend?” Hope asked, as Seth sat down and they started on the drive to her place. “Because frankly that doesn’t really matter to me, but if you’re having second thoughts, I’m sure he can let you out if need be.”

Hope knew it wasn’t the case, but Seth was honestly just making it all too easy.

“I don’t have a girlfriend, thank you very much.” He rolled his eyes, “just letting a friend know where I’m going.”

Hope sighed dramatically, enjoying the game of it all now. “Well I guess I really will have to let you leave mostly unharmed then, such a shame.”

“Oh, darlin’, as long as I make it home in one piece,” he leaned in a bit, “hit me with your best shot.”

"I'll keep that in mind," Hope smirked, letting him stay close but being very careful to keep her hands to herself, at least for the new few minutes. Sure, she hadn't entirely expected this when she'd seen who her date was, or even, at all. Hope knew there very much still could be regrets tomorrow, but right now this was good and fun and who was she to push that away when she'd spent the last few nights with nothing similar.

Seth wasn’t one to say no very often. The fact that he’d taken a Friday off from work to do this date thing for Anna was not something he would usually do, but he couldn’t say no to her especially. Plus, even if Hope was a huge bitch, she was hot as fuck, and he was clearly in for a wild night

It wasn't long before the Uber stopped at Hope's apartment. Politely, she thanked the driver and led Sam into the building, past the doorman, and to the elevator. "You're not scared of heights or anything, are you?" She asked, teasing in tone, pressing the button to the 11th, and highest, floor.

Seth rolled his eyes, “no, I’m not scared of heights. I went bungee jumping a few years ago.” He shook his head. It was going to be an interesting night, that’s for sure.

[dontasktheradiodemon]

((that ask about fanfiction just made me wonder what would happen if someone wrote in-universe rpf about these guys. not curious enough to make a blog and write it but curious enough to imagine the like 400k deep character arc of alastor getting a cellphone and voluntarily logging into voxblr.))

((Oh believe me, every time someone tries to allude to the idea of someone making fanart/fanfic about Alastor to Alastor on this blog, I’ve gotta sit here and think about where to draw the limit between “sure that hypothetically makes sense given that RPF fanfic exists” and “nah you’re leaning too hard on the fourth wall”))

((The thing about RPF is that it’s never going to be based on what a person is actually like. It’s all always going to be about some constructed fictionalized character invented out of what a fan hopes that celebrity is going to be like, based off of what little bit of their personality and interior life they willingly share in interviews, social media, etc. Imagine the versions of yourself that you construct for mainstream public consumption—the version of yourself you wear at work to face customers, or the version of yourself you wear when you’re talking in class to teachers/professors, or the version of yourself that you put on Facebook where your extended family is watching—and ask how accurate that public-facing version of yourself is re: expressing your entire history, your interior life, your likes and interests and secret thoughts and feelings. You know, the stuff that a writer would need to know to fully write a fictional character. And when a fanfic writer doesn’t get that stuff from canon, they make up interesting headcanons. Your public-facing self is the “canon” that a hypothetical fanfic writer would be basing their headcanons off of. How much are they gonna get right?))

((And that’s the issue at the root of a vast majority of “characters discover RPF about themselves in-universe” concepts that I’ve run into in the past. For characters running into RPF of themselves to be true to a hypothetical real world experience of a celebrity running into RPF of themself, that character’s RPF has to be just... wildly fucking wrong. And I don’t just mean “humorous over-exaggerations of their real personality traits,” I mean WRONG personalities. I mean “I don’t know this guy’s background so I made up his entire childhood and INVENTED a tragic backstory for him.” I mean “I decided his five top hobbies, the three languages he speaks, and that he’s got a secret child somewhere.” You can easily invent a childhood for a character that doesn’t have one, but a real person always has a real childhood, whether you know anything about it or not.))

((As real fans of fictional characters, we’re privy to far more of a character’s private life than the fictional fans who know these characters as public figures, because we get to see the fictional media that produces these characters. And, more than that, as real fans who are writing both the fanfics about the characters AND the hypothetical in-universe RPF about these characters, the versions of the characters that exists in one writer’s head are going to be the versions of the character that inform both the fanfic and the RPF inside the fanfic. And so there’s going to be an inclination to make the in-universe RPF more IC than it would realistically be if you don’t stop and go “actually, whoever’s writing this wouldn’t know a goddamn thing about what this person is like.”))

((Plus, the way it’s written would be different. Generally, people don’t play with celebrities in RPF the same way they play with characters in fiction-based fanfic. There’s an even greater focus on shipping, primarily either “I want these bandmates/co-stars to be gay together” or else self-shipping/reader-insert content. You’re gonna get a lot less, like, character study sort of fic. A much greater portion of the fanworks are, like... celebrity crush daydreams in written form. Which, yeah, makes up a lot of fan works for fictional characters—but not to as high an extent. You don’t need to write a whole fic sharing your headcanon childhood for a real living person who HAS a childhood you just don’t know, you just sort of need to know that headcanon childhood for the daydream you’re writing that person into.))

((And finally—you’ve got to consider who gets RPF written about them. IRL, it’s almost exclusively entertainers. Movie stars, pop bands, etc.—and what’s more than that, entertainers that appeal to the portion of the population that writes fanfic (typically female) and the portion of the population less likely to go “it’s really weird to write about actual real life people like they’re characters I can just play around with” (typically younger)—so, entertainers in teen-oriented boy bands or actors in movies/shows that appeal to a large, feminine, young fanbase. Hazbin’s main cast contains two entertainers: Angel Dust and Alastor. Gay adult film star Angel Dust definitely appeals to a queer audience but is probably not drawing a young, female fanbase. Sure, out here in the real world he’s got a lot of young female fans—but how many 15-to-22-year-old fangirls do you know who have a passionate interest in specific IRL gay adult film stars? So Angel’s got a big fanbase but it’s probably not much of a fic-writing fanbase. Alastor is, more than anything, a former entertainer; and although he’s got female admirers, they seem to be restricted to the “stuck in the 1910s” part of town and thus probably not getting online to write fanfic. Plus those admirers seem to be people who know him personally, and usually the RPF that gets shared in public is written about celebrity strangers, not one’s own acquaintances. And those are the only two in the main cast that even come close to appealing to the usual RPF demographics.))

((And more importantly than the entertainer thing: Alastor is a figure of fear. Alastor is nearly-universally reviled. Out here in the real world Alastor is the perfect figure to draw a large loving fanbase because he is the perfect embodiment of the Tumblr Sexyman trope. But inside the Hazbin universe? In Hell? He’s basically equivalent to a mass shooter who gunned down hundreds of people and then was allowed to walk free because the cops were too scared to try to arrest him. His claim to fame is mass carnage. The one thing everyone knows him for is hurting as many people as possible. Doesn’t quite have the same broad popular appeal as a boy band that sings cute pop songs, does he?))

((Yeah, there are some folks out there that treat true crime like a fandom, write love letters to serial killers, etc.—but that’s a LOT more fringe than the majority of the people churning out RPF fiction. You don’t see common fanfic tags stuffed with mass shooter reader-insert fic the way you see them stuffed with k-pop reader-insert fic.))

((tl;dr: is somebody somewhere in Hell writing RPF about Alastor? Yeah, probably somewhere? He would be well-known enough that it would be weird if absolutely nobody anywhere with a taste for RPF happened to have a penchant for him. But the numbers are so low that it would be really weird for the phenomenon to get big enough that somebody would come TELL Alastor that he’s getting fanfic written about him; and what those fics look like would probably be so OOC & incorrect they’re barely even recognizable as Alastor because the fictional writers writing them wouldn’t have the out-of-universe insight into Alastor’s personality that we real world fans have.))

((Which is why even with “what about RPF?” if someone comes at this blog going “hey Alastor people are writing fanfic about you” my reaction is generally just to go “nah, you’re leaning on the 4th wall, we’re not doing that.” Because I don’t expect the average anon to put THIS MUCH THOUGHT into who would realistically be writing RPF about Alastor, how common it would really be, and what it would probably look like, and I don’t want to try to course-correct a bunch of anons acting like Alastor’s hypothetical fictional fanbase in Hell looks the same and writes the same as his real world fanbase.))

[sombreboy]

Love Maze »4

Previous  » Next Series Masterlist ▎ 18+ ▎ pairing: Taehyung x Jungkook ▎ genre: School AU, crack humor, smut, angst, ETL, slow burn, fluff. ▎ word count: 9.2k ▎ ch.warnings: cursing, slight angst, homophobic slurs, alcohol consumption, descriptions of throwing up (due to the alcohol), dumb chaotic energy. A/N: A LOT happens in this one hahahah thank you @velvetwicebang​ for co-writing this with me ilysm and I love this rp, you’re so talented I will never stop saying this. Also amazing header made by lovely lovely mentioned.

The next day Jungkook was feeling tired, but he was adamant to go back to his usual routines. He was gonna dive back into being Jeon Jungkook, the golden boy that puts his everything into class and practice. First thing in the morning, he sat down in the classroom, when a new face was introduced to the crowd. He stood tall in front of everyone, a pearly white smile on his face as he introduced himself after the teacher gathered everyone's attention, "Hello. My name is Ash, thank you for having me." His introduction was brief, but he still seemed to charm the crowd. He was indeed good looking...Tall, even taller than Jungkook, well built, he must be an athlete, a strong jawline. His hair was dyed in a lighter brown, wavy subtle curls that were a little too long, dangling over his strongly defined, brown eyes. It wasnt surprising that he already swooped the females off their feet. However, his eyes had landed on Jungkook, who seemed to be completely focused on the papers in front of him.

As class resumed to normal, Ash had invited himself to take the empty seat next to the doe eyed boy, leaning in with a small smile, "Hey, what's your name?"

Jungkook glanced up from his books, his eyes taking a quick glance to trace the features of the new face, "Jungkook."

Ash hummed with a nod, "Im Ash. You know, I'm kind of behind on this, being new and all, care to catch me up?" In reality, he wasn't that much behind. He was just curious about the younger guy.

Jungkook didn't see why not, sliding his book over to share his notes, "Sure."    Ash gave him a small smile, and it was cute. Maybe this day wasnt completely terrible. It did distract him from the continuous loop of Taehyung in his mind.

~

Taehyung bet right, today sucked. Before he came across Jungkook and his new friend in the hallway, Tae had been casually taking a stroll with Hoseok during their break, half-assedly listening to the elder rant about his problems. “The thing is, she didn’t even kiss me back! She said my lips were too chapped— which, no the hell they aren’t. You think a thirty dollar chapstick would do that?!” Taehyung shook his head, knowing Hobi was expecting him to agree. “No, hyung. Your lips are fine. They’re.. the opposite of chapped..?” He glued on a strained smile, the obnoxious grin immediately dropping to the ground the moment Hoseok looked away, looking pleased with Taehyung’s answer, “Tae, you’re such a mood maker!” The said boy’s face stayed as emotionless as always, sharp eyes glaring ahead of him. “Thanks.” Fuck, he caught himself thinking about Jungkook. Again. The pair made a few more laps around the hallways, the elder doing most of the talking. However, when they turned at a corner, Hoseok’s voice increased in volume. “Kook!” His big smile was put on display, meeting Jungkook halfway. Before Tae was given the opportunity to fully register what was going on, his eyes narrowed at the unfamiliar member in the group. Was he new? He’s never seen him before. “Name’s Ash,” The unfamiliar male extended out his arm, introducing himself with a blinding smile on his face. “Yo, I’m Hoseok! Nice to meet you.” Hobi gladly took Ash’s hand in his, giving it a firm shake. Meanwhile, Taehyung stayed still, taking a couple of peeks at Jungkook without trying to make it too obvious. He had no intentions of getting to know the new kid, but the new kid was set on getting to know him. He extended out his hand once again, “I’m Ash.” “Huh?” Taehyung couldn’t care less, visibly uninterested. With a breathy chuckle, Ash opted for repeating himself, “Ash. Need me to spell it out for you?” Tae’s facial expression hardened, “No. I got it.” The corner of his lip twitched. The fuck kinda name was that.. Ash. It sounded like it belonged in the Warrior Cats books, “I’m Taehyung.”

“Nice to meet you, Taehyung.“ Ash flashed another smile as he withdrew his hand to settle it on his hip. He stood awfully close to Jungkook, their shoulders practically touching. Unless you had a sharp eye, you wouldn’t notice it within the group. “Well, nice to meet you guys.” Ash paused to look at Jungkook, “Kookie, it’s lunch time, no? Let’s head to the dining hall. You guys wanna tag along?”

Jungkooks eyes kept landing on Taehyung, remaining silent throughout the interactions. When his name was called, he nodded, but he didn’t expect Ash to invite the others. He held his breath, trying so hard not to care about whether or not Taehyung would accept this invitation. He still felt awkward. ~ What was it with the new kid and the constant smiling? It didn’t seem like a genuine one, either. Compared to Hoseok’s smile, Ash’s seemed more cocky and.. conceited.

Tae couldn’t exactly pinpoint to what it was, but there was something off about the guy. At least in his eyes. ..Maybe it was the way Ash was standing so close to Jungkook, the word ‘personal space’ a foreign concept to the both of them. No, that couldn’t be it. Taehyung didn’t care. He spoke too soon, his head snapping towards Jungkook’s direction for what it seemed like the hundredth time that day. ‘Kookie’? They were already on a nickname basis? How much did they know each other, surely they’d just met? “Yeah. Sure.” Mumbling under his breath, Taehyung looked over at Hobi, “We should be the ones asking him..” Nevertheless, they walked towards the dining hall and Hoseok invited Ash to sit with their group of friends. Taehyung sat himself across from Jungkook, watching Ash take a seat next to the younger as he flashed that same, stupid smile of his. Tae wanted to gag. “Hey, Ash.” Namjoon spoke up, picking up some of his food before popping it in his mouth. “What made you move here? If you don’t mind me asking.”

Ash took a bite off his food, his eyes landing on Namjoon at the question, “Parents moved here for work, and I kind of had to just deal with it. You know?” He chuckled a breath through his nose, “I don’t mind though, my last school was pretty lame. So far I like it here, much better.” His hand subtly snaked underneath the table to land on Jungkooks knee, to make it a point with his words. Jungkook visibly tensed up, not used to the casual physical contact, towards him in this manner. Especially not by a guy, nor in public. He kind of liked it.. Kook gave him a small smile while chewing his mouthful of food, quiet but content. He almost forgot about how Taehyung would feel about this. And even if he did wonder, Tae said so himself, they weren’t dating. So it probably didn’t matter to him. Ash, however, was almost too aware of the way Taehyung kept looking at Jungkook when he wasn’t paying attention, and it both intrigued and annoyed him. Ash wanted Jungkook, and he was doing well so far.

“Im curious, what sport teams are there in this school? I’m considering joining one of them,” Ash changed the topic, aiming the question to the group in general. His eyes looked over the table, his hand gently rubbing circles on jungkooks knee, whom didn’t withdraw from his touch.. it was quite nice after all.

“Well, there is the soccer team, swim..” Namjoon’s words flew over Taehyung’s head, who was now poking at his food to keep himself entertained. He tried to not look at Jungkook all that much, he really did, eyes glued on the way his meal was mostly untouched. But, Taehyung felt like some words were left unsaid, he just couldn’t quite make out what they were. Suddenly, going back to ‘normal’ wasn’t as easy as he’d previously imagined it to be. When everything was ‘normal’, the taste of Jungkook’s lips was unknown, how the younger wrapped around him was unspecified, sleeping next to him was unheard of. Now, Tae was accustomed to different things. He fucking hated himself for it. “..Football in the fall, and lastly, basketball. Which, is the best sport in my opinion.” Namjoon’s cheeky smirk widened even further when Jin caught him, “Of course you think that. Joon’s the Captain.” Namjoon sat up a little straighter, proceeding to eat his food. “Why? You thinking of joining?” A smile tugged at Ash’s lips, “Maybe.” He looked over at Jungkook, reassuringly squeezing his knee, “I don’t wanna scare my parents by being gay and not trying out for an extracurricular activity. They already think I’m some sort of outcast.” Ash joked, knowing his parents were supportive of his sexuality. Everyone in the table had stopped moving mid-chew; Taehyung had nearly spilled out his invisible drink, “Wait, you’re gay?” “Taehyung!” Jimin slapped the back of the boy’s head, looking over at Ash with an apologetic expression on behalf of Tae. “That’s—That’s great! It’s a hard thing to come to terms with, you’re very brave.” Namjoon quickly stepped in, glaring at Taehyung.

Jungkook tensed underneath Ash's touch for a moment, ceasing his chewing. Suddenly the hand on his leg felt entirely different. But... it wasn't bad. Was he showing some kind of interest? How, what....He's never had this happen to him before, not like this.

''It's fine, don't worry about it,'' Ash gives Taehyung a quick smirk before giving his attention back to Namjoon, ''So, basketball, huh? Maybe I'll check that one out... Is everyone here part of the team?''

Jungkook nodded, for the first time participating in the conversation, causing all heads to turn even if it was just a simple word, ''Yeah.''

''You're in the team too?'' Ash turns to look at the younger, squeezing his knee a little harder, ''Then I'll have to join.''

Jungkook couldn't help but blush at the blunt statement, looking down at his food. He really wasn't used to this open flirting from a guy, or anyone really.

To everyone else at the table, Jungkook’s blooming blush was a first.. The rest of the boys exchanged secret glances between one another, eyebrows knitted together whilst some wore a cheeky grin on their face. Who would’ve thought that the new kid’s words had such an impact on their Golden Boy? Of course, Taehyung wasn’t part of that bunch. Unlike his hyungs, not a single ounce of amusement lingered in his features. With a scowl on his face, Tae abruptly sat up from his spot, his tray of food at hand, “Right, you’re gonna regret having that as your main reason to join.” He scoffed, looking at Ash before switching his gaze over to Kook, smirking, “Jungkook can get annoying as hell, and fast.” Taehyung forced out a snicker, not bothering to hear what Warrior Cat boy— or anyone else— had to say before throwing his bag over his shoulder, putting a hand up in the air as a farewell and walking away. “What the hell’s his problem..?” Ash wore a barely visible pout, eyes darkening at the thought of Taehyung. “I ask myself that everyday.” Jin sighed out loud, to which everyone else agreed.

Jungkook shrunk in his seat at his words. Did Tae really mean that? Fuck, it shouldn't have hurt as much as it did.. If Taehyung really thought that he was so annoying, somehow, it made it easier for Jungkook to shift his sadness over to anger. He didn’t need Taehyung-- because Taehyung didn’t need him.

Ash moved his hand to rub Jungkooks shoulder, his eyes still trailing after Tae until hes out of sight. He wasnt sure what was up between these two, nor what had happened to make Taehyung say such a thing. But one thing he was certain of, and that was; he didnt give a fuck. Jungkook was gonna be his.

"I'll think about joining the team, then" Ash chimed with a smile, infectious to the rest of the group as they seem just as thrilled about it. They surely could use another player, and judging Ash by his physique, he'd be a useful addition.

Jungkook grabbed his tray as he got off his seat, "Class soon, I'll see you guys." Kook paused, his eyes moving to meet with Ash's, "You coming?"

"Of course, Kookie." Ash winked at him, earning another flustered look from the younger. He turned to the rest of the group and bowed his head, his eyes lastly landing on namjoon, "Nice meeting you guys, I'll make sure to check out the team in action soon." He drew a wide, dimpled smile from namjoon before putting his arm around Jungkook, leading him out of the dining hall.

"So...." Yoongi spoke, turning the attention towards him, "Ash and Jungkook?" He shrugged, continuing to eat his food, while the rest of the group shared glances and smiles. Were their golden boy into guys?

Namjoon clasped his hands, jaw jutted in thought. This seems to be a lot more complicated than he thought.

~

“Kookie?” Ash dropped his hand on Jungkook’s toned thigh to get his attention, merely resting it there. Setting his pencil on the table, he solely focused on Kook’s face instead of the loose piece of notebook paper that was scribbled over with mathematical equations, “That.. Taehyung guy..” Ash knew it was stupid to worry; Taehyung had nothing on him in terms of physical appearance and, now— after getting to hear him talk during lunch— personality. But despite all of that, he couldn’t help but wonder.. “Are you guys close?” His thumb now brushed over the fabric of Jungkook’s jeans, tongue swiping over his lips, “I mean.. he’s a complete asshole.” Ash said with a shrug of his shoulders, already not too keen of Kim.

There it was again, the hand on his leg. The casual, yet intimate touch from this man had become very frequent in an extremely short amount of time. And Jungkook decided he’d let it happen, he liked it. Why wouldn’t he? Ash was strikingly good looking, blessed with a face that had anyone turning their head as he walked by. And he seemed to give a fuck about him. Not to mention the nickname that already had him feeling certain things, “Close? No,” Jungkook shrugged, there was no way he would mention their short lived friends with benefits ‘romance.’, if one could even call it that, “He is a total ass.” Jungkook agreed, but a part of him protested.

Even if he was a total douchebag, there were moments of privacy where he was anything but that. But he would never see that part again, they both made that clear.

“Yeah? Oh, what a relief.” Ash smiled, inching his hand up Kook’s thigh, painfully slow, leaning in to whisper into his ear, “I almost got worried that I’d have to feel jealous.” This small gesture had JK melting, weak underneath the bigger mans touch. But this wasn’t the time. “N-no... don’t worry..hm.. I-I have to finish this..” Jk weakly breathes out, drawing a wider smirk from Ash. “Okay, okay... how about this... dinner tonight? I’m really, really dying to know you better.”

Jungkooks doe eyes were wide as they flickered up to the larger male. Did he just ask him out? In the middle of class? Anyone could hear. And they did. Subtle whispers were heard, trying to discretely observe the interaction between the two men. 

After a long minute, Jungkook finally responded, “Okay.”

Word around the school spread like wildfire, and everyone’s interest seemed to be on the mysterious newcomer and his choice of date: Jeon Jungkook.

‘Ash asked him out? Is Jungkook even gay?’

‘They literally just met. How did Jungkook manage to get a man faster than I could in eighteen years?’

‘No one knows for sure.. but if it’s true, they’ll be so cute together!’

Taehyung’s ears were ringing. He just wanted to take a shit in peace, was that too much to ask? For the group of boys chatting outside of the stall, apparently so. “You heard all of the stuff going around ‘bout Ash?” All of the sudden Tae’s ears perked up at the question, forgetting about what he came to do here in the first place. Now this seemed worth his while.. ‘Not even a full day in and he’s already made a name for himself? Unbelievable,’ Taehyung mused, the urge to roll his eyes too overpowering. “The new kid? No, what happened?” A mocking snicker followed suit, “Apparently he likes sticking it up the ass or some shit.” Taehyung’s shoulders sagged down in disappointment; he was anticipating something he didn’t already know. “What, like anal?”

“No, I mean he’s a f*g, dumbass.”

An obnoxious gagging sound echoed throughout the room, followed by a series of laughter. “And you wanna know something else?” Tae’s jaw locked in place; they needed to shut their mouths before he knocked out a couple of teeth. Aside from the obvious, he went to the bathroom in hopes of catching a break from.. everything. Taehyung didn’t want to hear about Ash, of all people.

“He asked Jungkook out.” He froze in his spot, feeling his heart sink to the pit of his stomach. What..? The boy’s lips barely went agape, hands subconsciously balling up into fists as he forced himself to listen further, praying that he heard wrong. “Jeon Jungkook? Damn, didn’t take him as a fairy.” But something from inside Tae told him that it was the twisted reality. “You know, now that I think about it.. he always did kinda come across as a f*ggot. He seemed chill, it’s a shame.” Although the day was close to being halfway over, for Taehyung, this was the beginning of a horrible day.

~

As Jungkook was walking with Ash towards the basketball practice, which was JK’s last stop for the day, something felt different. The atmosphere in the hallway seemed more quiet then usual, and when he decided to actually take a look around, he didn’t fail to notice everyone’s eyes following him and the ‘new guy’, followed with whispers and subtly pointed fingers. Some seemed to be happy, some straight up disgusted. 

What is going on?

“Hey Kook.” Ash brought him back down to earth, a reassuring smile on his face. 

“Why is everyone staring at us?” Kook asked.

Ash knew exactly why, and he fucking loved the attention. This is exactly what he wanted. He deliberately asked him out during class, knowing the word would quickly spread around the school, and in the end, reach Taehyung’s ears.    “Well, you did say yes to dating me. People just... react to that.” Jungkook hummed at Ash’s words, feeling anxious. Did he accidentally come out? Or... was this supposed to happen? “We aren’t dating yet.” Jungkook replied with a bratty grin, his nose scrunching as he gazes up at the man. To anyone looking, they might as well be dating already, with the way Jungkook smiles at him. Kook rarely smiled like that. Ash put his arm around Jungkooks shoulder with a playful chuckle leaving his lips, this little man was so fucking adorable, “Not yet, but after tonight, that’s gonna change.”

Ash had decided that he wanted to check out the basketball practice in action, letting Jungkook head downstairs towards the locker room by himself as he himself would head to the practice hall to find Namjoon, “Hey, Namjoon!”

“Hey, Ash, you’re here! You’re joining?” Namjoon smiled, happy to see him here. But a part of him knows that if he joins, he surely hoped it wouldn’t cause more drama between the men. But, knowing exactly about the rumors of today, it was bound to happen. “Yeah, maybe, I came to watch.” Ash gazes around the practice hall. “Well, have a seat, we’re just waiting for the guys to get changed and then we’ll begin.”

On the outside, Taehyung fooled his peers by seeming relatively calm. He wore his hood up, a few strands of black hair draping over his eyes as his arms were found crossed over his chest, gaze somewhat.. lifeless? That’s how the latter looked like everyday— especially during Chemistry— so, no one dared to question it. However, in the space where his inner thoughts hid.. ‘What does Jungkook even like about that guy? Who deliberately goes for someone named Ash--‘ It was a mixture of pure chaos and confusion all in one. Confusion because, why does he care? Why was this fucking so bad with his head when all he’s ever done was treat Jungkook like shit? This.. this wasn’t normal, and Tae was aware of that. He wasn’t normal. All of these new feelings; Taehyung wanted to get rid of them, but he was afraid the pile was only growing larger in size.

Not overly enthusiastic about going to practice today, Taehyung still dragged his feet down the stairs. If he were to skip when all of the rumors were floating around, Namjoon would’ve pounced on the chance to call him out for it. If Tae wasn’t in the mood to deal with the elder before, he surely wasn’t going to be now. “Tae, it took you long enough!” Hoseok placed a hand on the boy’s back, excitedly leading him to their group of friends. “Jungkookie, are you positive you want to go on a date so soon? You just met Ash, get to know him a little more.” Jimin suggested, getting cut off by Yoongi, “So, you like boys?” He was still having a hard time processing the new information. It wasn’t anything out of the ordinary, Yoongi always seemed to be lost. Taehyung, on the other hand, wished he would’ve turned back around before walking in to Ash’s name getting dropped in the conversation. He was getting fucking tired of it, and it showed by the way he kept his distance from the others.

''Ah, well, isn't that what a date is for?'' Jungkook answered Jimin's question with a question of his own.

Jimin hummed, rubbing his chin in thought, ''You're not wrong. But are you sure you want to?''

Yoongi still looked like a lost child, squinting at Jungkook, ''Boys...''

Jungkook didn't want to feel like he had to hide this, so he just lets out a quiet sigh after slipping on his basketball sneakers,

''Yeah, I like boys.'' He took notice of Taehyung standing a little further away from the group, and he couldn't help but steal glances over towards him. He must think Kook is disgusting, knowing now that he likes boys, and making it so obvious that he liked him. But that was in the past, he's going out with Ash tonight, and he actually seemed to like him. He was lying if he said he wasn't a little giddy about it.

Jimin hugged Kook, a little out of nowhere, causing him to yelp in surprise, ''We will support you whether you like boys or girls, Jungkookie! We're so proud!'' ''Ash better treat you right.'' Yoongi grumbled like an old person before starting to head up with the rest of the group, one by one disappearing towards the stairs. Jungkook walked behind them, passing Taehyung on the way. With the locker room hallway being rather tight with the group walking together, Jungkook's arm brushed against Taehyung, his mild scent of laundry detergent reaching the elders nose.

Everything seemed to be unraveling far too quickly, and like a robot obtaining a new piece of information; Taehyung had trouble keeping up. Based off of what he overheard in the locker room, Jungkook definetely likes boys. The younger had to repeat himself to Yoongi so many times, Taehyung was sure it was permanently inked in his own brain by now. He couldn’t help but wonder, was Jungkook fond of him during the short amount of time they spent together? Did the latter’s heart feel like it could out win any olympic runner by how fast it pounded when he kissed him..? The string of never ending questions had Taehyung hooked on to the way Jungkook’s arm subtly brushed against him, that familiar fragrance drawing him in like no other. “Taehyung, snap out of it.” Namjoon clapped his hands, sighing out loud when he saw Taehyung’s undivided attention was on anything else but practice. “Uh, yeah.” He quickly did as he was told, running a hand through his messy hair before setting his worries aside. For this short droplet of time, it felt good to let loose. Taehyung felt like he needed to sweat it all out in order to feel more light, less clamped down to the ground. Practice went as usual in terms of Taehyung scoring a lot of points, but everything else after that felt out of place. What caught Tae by surprise was, a small part of him missed the constant bickering, the cursing back and forth, the yelling.. It was trippy as hell, but he did. “Shit..” Taehyung groaned to himself, blindly reaching for his bottled water when he realized he didn’t bring one. “I’ll be back.” He muttered, making his way over to the water fountain around the corner. Taehyung was wiping the sweat from off his face when he bumped into someone. Or rather, his front bumped into someone’s behind as they were leaning over for a drink of water, “Sorry— Jungkook?” His eyes grew wide, suddenly becoming even more embarrassed by who it was.

Jungkook quickly stood up straight with a small yelp, the always so easily startled younger man, when he felt someone bump against his behind, abruptly turning his head to see who it was, and he coughed as he almost choked on the water in his throat, hitting his chest to get it down, ''Ah, Taehyung.''

Jungkook had forgotten his waterbottle as well, and needed that moment to himself to just think. He was in the limbo of getting over Tae, and getting into Ash, whom was sending him signals left and right, and now they had a date tonight.

The younger backed off a few steps to grant Taehyung access to the waterfountain, wiping his wet lips with the back of his hand. Why wouldn’t he just leave? There was no reason to stay around when Taehyung was here. But for some reason, he felt like he wanted to, for just one moment, let his eyes rest on the elders features a little longer.

Like old gum on the school ground, Taehyung stuck to his spot like an absolute idiot, trying his hardest to lie and not seem fazed by Jungkook’s presence. With another anxious look thrown in the younger’s direction, Tae managed to swallow down the obvious lump in his throat before leaning down for a needed drink, hands placed on either side of the water fountain as his Adam’s apple danced after every gulp. Suddenly he was more thirsty than ever, his mouth having gone dry when he bumped into Kook unexpectedly. After refreshing himself with enough water, Taehyung licked over his lips, pushing his fringe from out of his eyes,  “What?” Jungkook was just.. standing there.

Jungkook stared at him, feeling just as dumb himself. Taehyungs voice brings him back to the reality of the situation, 

“Uh...” he sounded just as dumb as he felt, the flight instincts in him kicking in. His feet suddenly move on their own, trying to get out of there to head back to the locker room, but his clumsy ass just had to slip on the water puddle by the fountain, falling backwards right next to Taehyungs form.

This was it. He was gonna get a fucking concussion on top of everything, wasn’t he? As if time moved in slow motion, he closed his eyes, bracing himself for the impact.

When Jungkook turned his back to him, Taehyung felt like he could finally relax. Jaw nowhere near as clenched, and posture no longer mirroring a wooden board. That feeling only lasted for a second, however, before he heard the loud squeak of the younger’s shoe on the ground. “What the—“ Before he was given the chance to see what happened for himself, Jungkook’s body was plummeting down towards him. Instinctively, Taehyung reached his arms out, looping them around from underneath Kook’s armpits to hold him up against his chest, “Dumbass!” Tae cursed out loud, questioning why he felt so relieved. It wasn’t like he cared if Kook were to fall and break his head open.. Taehyung swiftly turned Jungkook around by his hips, meeting his eye. “Don’t you ever watch where you’re going?” He scolded, leaving barely any room between the two. Suddenly, fresh memories from before came rushing back to him.

Jungkook stared up at the taller man with his big eyes, flinching slightly at his scolding. For some reason... for some damned reason, Jungkook couldn’t help but feel happy about it. This was the Taehyung he’d always been around, the scolding, cursing guy that always made sure to point out Jungkooks flaws. This time, it didn’t even make him mad.

However, just as quickly as he was caught, his realization of their close proximity hit him. The familiar strong arms holding him close felt too familiar, his face so close but so far away. If only he would lean in just a bit... No, what is he thinking? Taehyung does. Not. Like. Him. And he, he has ash now. “Thanks, eh...” as if the cat got his tongue, he withdrew himself from Taehyungs hands, internally scolding himself for missing them, and turns on his heels to stride back to the locker room. It’s as if god wanted to punish him, his cheeks flushing red as soon as he’d turned away from the elder.

Taehyung’s arms dropped down to his sides, no trace of emotion swirling within his piercing eyes as they shamelessly followed behind Jungkook, almost in a trance-like state until the latter was out of sight. Fuck. He was losing it, wasn’t he? I mean, he had to be a lunatic if subconsciously, a deeper part of him, found himself aching to feel Jungkook. Hands longing to touch him.. to tease him. Sexually, or platonically. Taehyung was even more confused than before. ‘Platonically’? Who the hell was he..? No. He was just envisioning things without thinking. By this point, it wasn’t anything new.

~

“Kookie!” Ash excitedly hopped down from the bleachers, meeting Jungkook in the gym after he was back from changing. He didn’t shy away from wrapping his arm around Kook’s waist, ignoring the not-so-subtle looks from the other players, “You were so good out there! I have to admit.. I wasn’t expecting all that much.” Ash playfully smirked, drawing Jungkook even closer to his warmth, “Anyways, are you excited for our date?” The taller man wiggled his brows, biting down on his lip, “I reserved us a spot at seven. And before you ask where it is, it’s a surprise.”

Jungkook had found himself in the same trance-like state the entire time he was changing, but quickly got distracted when he felt Ash's hands wrap around his waist, his firm body feeling really good against his. It wasn't the same as Taehyung's, but, that was kind of the point. ''I'm curious now, I don't do well with surprises..'' Jungkook craned his neck to look up at the taller man, he felt so small with him. it was nice, to feel this kind of affection from someone who wasn't scared of showing it. However, it didn't stop his face from feeling hot at the lingering eyes that flickered between the two of them.

''Too bad,'' Ash snickered, one hand reaching up to brush stray hairs away from Kook's eyes, his dark stare drinking in the youngers beautiful features, ''Because I still won't tell you. Oh, practice is over now, right?''

Jungkook nodded, ''Yeah, we're done for the day.''

Ash shifted his hold so that they stood next to eachother, his arm wrapped around Jungkook's waist to drag him along to leave, ''Let's go, then.''

The tall man looked over his shoulder on the way out, waving goodbye to the team, a knowing smile on his face at the way they all stared them down, ''I'll see you guys next time.''

He really didn't care too much about basketball, but it would give him more time with the younger, and that, he did want a lot more of. He had to keep an eye on him, especially around that Taehyung guy. Something was up with that, but he couldnt quite place it.

~

“Taehyung, I better see your ass at that party. Plus, there’ll be a lot of foreign chicks there; I know how much of a sucker you are for blondes.” His friend, Haechan, teasingly nudged Tae with his shoulder, trying to get him to change his mind. The boy looked miserable as fuck, and since Taehyung wouldn’t tell him what was going on, Haechan hoped a little bit of alcohol would loosen up those tightly sealed lips. “Fine.” He gave in with a defeated sigh, mustering up his first word in a while. Strolling out of the door with Chan at his side, Taehyung grimaced when he listened to him cheer excitedly and without a restraint, shake him by his shoulders like a madman. “We’re gonna get so fucked up tonight! Dude, you need it.” The elder didn’t doubt the last part was true, hence why he agreed to going in the first place. Maybe after he downed a couple of shots and fucked the first girl he laid his eyes on, all of this would get pushed to the back of the burner. Taehyung knew he was trying to drink less, but for this party, he made an exception. So what if he didn’t do good with alcohol? So what if it fucked him up so much to the point where he didn’t remember his own name? Honestly, that’s what Taehyung needed the most.

~ 

As the evening finally came, Jungkook jumped when he heard the firm knock on his door. Ash was here!

The younger took a second, even a third look at himself in the mirror, moving his hair out of his eyes to no avail, as the dark locks kept falling back into where they just wanted to stay. He sighed, straightening out the fabric of his shirt. Ash had said to keep it comfortable, so he did, dressed up in ripped blue slim-fit jeans with a black v-neck long sleeve. It was cute, he looked good. He felt good. His legs were muscular, and they looked fucking great in those jeans. He took a deep breath before turning the doorknob, opening it to be greeted by Ash's handsome smile. He was beaming, drawing the air out of Kook's lungs like punch in the gut. ''Hey Kookie.'' Ash's eyes drank in the shorter's outfit, he subtly licked his lips, ''You look so good! How about me?'' he winked, giving a little twirl before smiling widely. Jungkook nodded agreeingly while stepping outside, closing the door behind him, ''You look good too..'' He smiled, a little embarrassed. Ash couldn't stop thinknig about how fucking/cute/kook is when he is flustered, which was very easily done.

Ash wrapped his arm around Jungkook's, pulling him with him to his car. It was a nice car, it looked expensive. Probably paid for by his parents, and judging by his outfit, his parents were fairly well off.

~

A couple of hours after the darkness had casted a shadow in the sky, Taehyung attempted to parallel park a few streets down from where the party was at, trying to not damage his car in the process. It was already missing a wing mirror, for fucks sake— which he still hasn’t gotten fixed. Taking a second to close his eyes, Taehyung exhaled, his grip on the steering wheel unfastening. The goal for tonight was to let loose, not pick at the little inconveniences that would only stress him out even more. After he managed to do a decent job with his parking-- actually, it sucked. He was horrible at parallel parking, but everywhere else seemed to be occupied. Taehyung allowed the muffled bass of the music to lead him to his destination, able to subtly make out the lyrics of the song from where he was. Why haven’t the cops been called yet..?  From the looks of this neighborhood; everyone seemed to either be on their private jet to Rome, or were too high and mighty to care. Which, Taehyung definitely didn’t mind. This way, he was sure nothing was going to stop him from having a good time. “Taehyung! Dude, you made it.” Haechan immediately wrapped his free arm around Tae’s shoulders, the other hand busy holding a red cup.. and a girl. “Meet Mila, I have no fucking clue what she’s saying. But hey, she’s hot.” He laughed, tilting the cup up to his lips. Taehyung only chuckled, slipping from under Haechan’s hold. He stole a glance at Mila, noticing how her vibrant, blue eyes were already set on him. Taehyung’s tongue poked at the side of his cheek, hungrily scanning over her body in the most discreet way possible. She was gorgeous, no doubt.

~

Ash parked his way-too-fancy-for-his-age car by this restaurant that Jungkook's never been to before, and honstly, he doesn't recall ever seeing it around. Probably because it was large, and it looked pretty expensive, ''I thought you said we weren't supposed to dress up..'' Kook murmured, feeling way too underdressed now. ''I am comfy too, don't worry about it. I just wanted to treat you to something nice! Besides, this is only the first part of our date.'' Ash winked before getting out of the car, circling around to open the door for kook, reaching his hand out like a true gentleman. Jungkook blushed again, taking his large hand to be pulled up, feeling the way ash wraps his arm around his waist once more, walking him into the nice restaurant. They were greeted by the nice staff, they seemed to be able to tell that Ash was of higher class in some way, and he shot them a dazzling smile before giving his name for the reservation. Quickly, they were seated by a table more secluded in the back, the lady giving them the menus before heading off. Jungkook eyed the menu, his nose scrunched at the prices, ''This is way too fancy.'' ''Don't look at the prices, Kookie, eat whatever you want. It's on me tonight,'' Ash was content, seeing the little boy be so amazed by something so simple by nice food. Spoiling him was fun, and he couldnt wait to give him more. ''Okay, hm.. I'll have the steak then.'' Jungkook smiled, putting his menu down. ''Ah! Excellent. I'll have the same.'' Ash snapped his fingers, bringing the waitress over to order their food. As they were once again left alone to wait for the food, Ash leaned closer over the table, gaze burning into the younger, ''I was thinking, Kookie... You said you didn't want to date me, yet, so..does that mean you'd actually date me after tonight?'' Jungkook tensed up a little, he wasnt expecting this question so early, ''Um.. well....maybe? I don't know yet.'' Ash hummed, ''Fair, I suppose I'll just have to swoop you off your feet as much as possible tonight.''

~

Taehyung started off his night with one drink, then two, three, and so on until he lost count. Apparently, he had to have a lot of alcohol to be in the middle of the dance floor, grinding against every girl he could get his roaming hands on, pulling their hair aside before whispering into their ear, occasionally sipping from his cup as if he’s dying to make himself forget, trying to cloud his train of thought. Everything around him was a big blur, the ground seeming like it could swallow him whole at any give second. That didn’t stop his hips from rocking against the next girl, the tingly sensation in his body was too good to turn away. “Ah, fuck.” He whined, tilting the red cup up to his lips, but instead he was met with nothing. He needed more alcohol in his system. Crushing the plastic in his hand, Tae pulled away, trying to sneak past the group of sweaty bodies. “Hey, where are you going?” The random girl turned to look at Taehyung, yelling over the music whilst looking hurt. “Uh, I-I’m.. I’m coming ba-back. I swear, okay? Just—I need..” His slurred words drifted off, the only thing clear in his mind was the taste of the strong liquor. He wanted more. Ignoring the list of curses thrown at him as he bumped into people; Taehyung sluggishly made his way over to the familiar kitchen island aligned with bottles. Just as he was going to pour himself another round, he realized his cup was all crumpled up. “Shit.” A little pout adorned Taehyung’s lips, whom tried his hardest to fix it, oblivious to a stack of new cups in the corner of his eyes. “New?” Taehyung’s head perked up, it was Mila. “Huh?” She laughed, brushing a strand of her blonde hair behind her ear, “New cup?” Mila reached over close to Tae to grab one for him, unaware of the eyes lingering on her prominent cleavage. “Th-Thanks.” He gulped, shifting his attention to his bottle of choosing. Mila watched with curious eyes, bottom lip held captive in between her red-tinted lips, “I’m Mila. Mila Kuznetsov.” Taehyung turned his head over to her once again, seeing as she wanted to keep the conversation going. “What?” He could barely form a simple thought, much less speak all that clearly. “Mila, is my name. Uh.. last name, Kuznetsov.” She spoke in broken Korean, her strong accent peeking through. Tae’s eyes widened, “Kuzne—what?” His reaction earned himself a giggle, the corners of his own lips rising up.    “Never mind.” She settled for a shrug of her shoulders, not planning on leaving Taehyung’s side anytime soon. “What’s your name?” Tae now comfortably leaned against the edge of the counter, wearing a cocky smirk on his face. He got the message. “Taehyung. Kim Taehyung.”

~

The night continunes, a comfortable dinner with lots of chatter, Ash flirting and throwing all kinds of signals towards Jungkook throughout the evening. It was enjoyable, the attention was amazing. He started getting comfortable, and slowly, Ash had started to get the younger to warm up. ''Did you like the dinner?'' He asked the doe eyed boy, whom happily finished off the last piece of his steak. ''It was delicious!'' He smiled, nose scrunched. So, fucking cute. Ash just wanted to ruin him right then and there. ''Alright,'' Ash wiped his lips with the napkin before getting up, reaching out to grab Jungkook's hand in his, ''Let's go, part two of our date!'' Jungkook tilted his head to the side, all while letting Ash guide him back to the car, ''What do you mean? There's more?'' A small smile crept on his lips, he's never had someone put this much effort in. Ash pulls him close by the shoulder, placing a soft kiss on JK's forehead followed with a laugh, ''You should see your face! yes, Kookie, there's more, but it's a surprise...'' Jungkook laughs too, his cheeks tinted with red as they move on to the next destination. This date seemed to be going pretty well.

~

“Wait, uh.. how do—how do you pronounce it again?” Taehyung was eager to learn, staring up at Mila from where she sat on the counter, looking the most determined he’s ever been. Yet another laugh, “Kuznetsov. It’s easy, no?” The elder threw his head back with a groan, one because of the dizziness, and the other due to the pent up frustration. “Easy?” He shook his head in utter disbelief, suppressing a laugh. “You don’t know what that means-“ He hiccuped, “do you.” The pair found themselves secluded away from everybody else, and surprisingly enough, Taehyung didn’t mind. He was learning a bit of Russian, all the while they talked about their likes, dislikes, friends.. The conversation seemed to go on forever. “You ass!” Mila playfully slapped Tae’s shoulder, hearing his deep laughter for the hundredth time that night. “I know the word easy..” A pout took over her plump lips, eyes lingering on Taehyung before they raked around the empty kitchen, awkwardly rubbing at her naked thighs. “Taehyung, you have a girlfriend?” Mila nervously chewed on the inside of her cheeks, batting her long eyelashes at him. He brought the cup up to his lips, mind wandering to the image of Jungkook. “No.” At the uninvited thought, Taehyung gulped the remainder of his drink down in one go, “Why. Are you interested?” Tae sat his cup down, noticing the way she uncrossed her legs. A couple seconds of silence passed by. “Maybe..” Taehyung’s smirk widened at the confession. Suddenly, alcohol was the last thing on his mind. “Maybe, hm?” He parted her legs, situating his body in between. Mila’s arms naturally found their way around his neck, drawing him closer. “Mhm..” With one last look at her ocean eyes, Taehyung tackled her lips into a messy, needy kiss. His big hands initially placed on her thighs, slowly traveling up her skirt, lastly going around to grope her ass. “Let’s t-take this up-upstairs.” He slurred his speech, taking a hold of her hand and disappearing into the first room he saw, nearly tripping on the last step. While Mila focused on stripping herself free of her clothes, Taehyung did the same thing, throwing his belt off to the side. He was eager to take his cock out from his boxers, chest heaving with adrenaline as he watched her get down to her knees, eyes darkening with lust. “Ah yeah.. fuck.” He rested his hand on the crown of her head, watching as she bobbed it at a fast pace from the start. Despite the immense amount of pleasure he was feeling, his body wasn’t happy with him. Tae began to feel.. nauseous, the space in between his brows covered by a cold sweat. “W-Wait..” Taehyung pulled away from Mila’s mouth, holding himself up by one arm against the nearby wall, working towards regaining his clear vision. Everything felt like a blur.. Why was the room spinning so much? Why.. His stomach grumbled. Before he knew it, the strong urge to vomit hit him like a truck, causing him to clasp a hand over his mouth. Not having enough time to run to a restroom, Tae’s knees gave out and he vomited on the carpet, his skin freakishly pale. “Taehyung!” She quickly rushed over to him, pushing past the smell. “Tae—“ Another round; it never seemed to falter. How much did he have to drink?! After he was done, Taehyung dropped his head against the wall, sharp eyes glassy. “I-I fuck.. I don’t— sorry.” A wave of emotions washed over him. Not knowing what else to do, Mila opted for reaching into the pockets of Taehyung’s jeans, getting a hold of his phone. She went to his contacts list, tapping on the first name that popped up. When the person on the other end of the line picked up, she breathed out, “Um, is this Taehyung’s friend? Please come, he’s not doing good.” Mila gave Namjoon the address  and worked on dressing Tae back up as they waited.

~

''An arcade?! Really?!'' Jungkook was beaming, jumping in excitement like a child on christmas. ''Yeah, you said you like videogames, so I figured this would be the perfect date!'' Ash was surprised when Jungkook initiated to hug him, holding him in his arms for a long moment. Ash wrapped his strong arms around his waist, nuzzling his nose into the youngers hair. ''Let's go get you some prizes. I bet I can win more than you.'' Ash teased, seeing the way Jungkook's eyes ignite with the competitive side of him, ''You're gonna regret saying that!''

It went on, Jungkook excelled in every single game, earning higher scores than anybody to pile up the points. A proud smile beamed on his face while he sees the numbers rack up on the shooting game they played together, knowing he did the most damage out of the two, ''Told ya, I'm unbeatable.'' Ash crooked an eyebrow, putting the toy gun away to grab Jungkooks jaw and guide it closer to his face, hot breath fanning his face, ''Yeah? Perhaps I'll have to reward you for being so good at these games, hm?'' Jungkook felt the blushing heat rise on his cheeks. But, he figured, what the hell. He didn't pull away, but stared right back into his eyes. Ash made the first move then and there, in the midst of people rushing back and forth between games, chatter and music, he leaned down to press his lips against Jungkook's in a soft kiss. They withdrew for a short second before leaning back in, placing several chaste kisses on eachothers lips, their breath getting shallow, until they pull away to catch their breath. Ash presses his foreheads against Kook's, a small smirk on his lips, ''How about that for a first date, hm?'' Jungkook nods, ''Yeah, it's...good..'' It was good. Great, actually. But a part of him couldn't help but compare it to Taehyung. It wasn't the same. But it wasn't bad. He looked back up on the taller man, doe eyes sparkling from the reflection of the videogame screens surrounding them. Ash leaned into his ear to whisper his next words, ''Wanna get out of here?''

~

“Come on, Tae. Help me out a little..” Namjoon had one of Taehyung’s arm thrown over his shoulder, Mila had the other. Together, they worked towards getting the drunken male down the stairs, safely. Taehyung cooperated, for the most part, well.. as good as he could during a blurry state like this one. He nearly tripped over his own feet a couple of times, each one just as startling as the first for Namjoon, whom still couldn’t believe how much his night had taken a turn for the worst. The latter had been face deep into a pile of handwritten notes, in the middle of studying his hardest for an upcoming test when his phone began vibrating. He picked up Taehyung’s call, expecting to hear Tae’s voice only to be met by a woman’s with a heavy accent, clearly sensing her panic from the other line. A few minutes later, and Joon found himself in front of a cliché house party, no longer indulged in his studies. Obviously. Now, right at this second, his focus was on trying to get Taehyung in his car. Apparently seeing a guy get dragged down the stairs was nothing out of the extraordinary; no one even batted an eye, just continuing to move their sweat-glistened bodies to the beat of the song. It caught Namjoon off guard, but then again, he wasn’t one to party on the daily. The elder’s car was parked outside of the main entrance, and needless to say, Joon’s eyes lit up at the sight. They were so close! Just a few more steady steps to go.. “There, we got you Tae. Relax.” Namjoon softly reassured, hearing his friend’s incoherent mumbling as he buckled him in. With one last look at Taehyung, Namjoon braced himself for the embarrassment that was to come as he pivoted around in his spot to face Mila. “Thanks for calling, and.. sorry about all of this.”  He sheepishly rubbed at his nape, feeling awkward speaking to the girl Taehyung was about to have sex with. “No problem, really.” She waved her hands in front of her face, as if telling him not to worry. Namjoon only nodded, pasting on a weak smile before hopping into the driver’s seat, starting his car. The blonde haired girl, however, had one last thing to say, “So, when Taehyung wakes..” Mila began, already nervous to continue. “Can you give this?” She extends out a small piece of paper for Joon to take, her phone number scribbled on the inside. Not given any reason to not take it, Namjoon happily did, reminding himself to give it to Taehyung when he was feeling less.. shitty.

At a time like this, Joon was glad his parents weren’t home; he had the feeling they wouldn’t like him bringing in a drunk person to crash on their couch. But, it was the least that he could do. Taehyung looked weak, and that was definitely a new look on him. The younger’s skin had lost most of its tanned melanin, his face lacking any trace of color. He could tell Tae was having trouble staying awake, beads of sweat dripping from his forehead. Namjoon brought in a bucket just in case— Taehyung leaned over the couch to empty out his stomach, panting from the light strain. Fuck, Namjoon had no idea what to do! He was freaking out. With shaky hands, the elder reached for his cellphone, knowing Jimin would be far more wise in a situation like this one.

To: Chim I have a problem. Taehyung’s passed out drunk on my couch, he’s sweating a lot and won’t stop vomiting. What the hell do I do?? he seems really weak so I don’t wanna move him

He pressed send, antsy to hear back a response. But, he never would, at least not from Jimin. Namjoon didn’t know that, of course. He didn’t know that he texted Jungkook instead.

~

“Yeah, that—“ Jungkook wasn’t able to finish his sentence when his phone chimed, fishing the phone out of his pocket to read it. Ash crooked an eyebrow, waiting for the answer, “Who’s that?” Kook freezes on the spot when he reads it; Taehyung passed out? Drunk? Throwing up? It felt like his heart was stuck in his throat at the thought, suddenly nothing else seemed to matter, cursing himself for even saying what he says next; “Hey, I have to go, it’s an emergency. Let’s.. call it a rain check?” He pleads, and Ash seems to be thinking about it. “You’re leaving our date that I prepared for you, for what?” “It’s my friend. He needs my help—“ the anxiety in him made him stumble on his words, feet already moving as he heaved himself on his tiptoes to place a quick peck on Ash’s cheek, whom seemed less than pleased about this, but, he let it slide. 

For now. “Alright. Do you need a ride?” Jungkook shakes his head, he did not want to burden ash with this, no way, “I’m fine. I’ll see you tomorrow.” With that, he ran, as fast as he fucking could until he reached Namjoons house. He hadn’t read the text properly, not noticing it wasn’t meant for him. All he knows is that Taehyung is in a shit condition, and he needed somebody.

Why was that enough for him to drop everything and fucking run?

© sombreboy 2020. Do not repost, edit or translate.

[aedwritesfic]

Padfoot & Prongs Coffee: Part Four

🌜Hot Moony🌛 

Read on AO3

Sirius sat on his sofa, cocooned in his second favourite blanket--his favourite having been declared by James to be too ugly for public consumption and banished to his bedroom. This grey and white striped king-sized monstrosity was just the right balance of fuzzy and sophisticated. Lily had even found throw pillows in a similar enough pattern that the blanket felt like a cosy addition to the room and not something Sirius used mostly as a comfort object when he didn’t feel like hiding away on his side of the flat.

The Darkness playlist he had made several years back was playing on shuffle and he quietly hummed along while scrolling through Remus’ Instagram doing his best not to accidentally like any posts. It was bad enough that he hadn’t been able to form a coherent sentence around the man once Lily officially introduced them or that the man had rushed off to class soon after, but Remus still hadn’t texted him.

Had he completely blown his shot? He had been so cool when Remus first came into the shop, but then he had witnessed the man nearly have a full-blown foodgasm over the croissant and all suaveness (was that even a word?) flew out the window. Sirius had just barely kept his cool long enough to slip Remus his number along with the latte. But finding out that Lily had known the man all along and never once said anything about having a hot gay friend tipped him over the edge.

Luckily, there weren’t more than a handful of Remus Lupin’s on social, so Sirius found him rather easily and was able to scroll through the man’s public life freely. He couldn’t find anything going back more than five years--not even a MySpace--but if he had thought he had been in love before, seeing pictures and things of interest to Remus had him falling even further down that rabbit hole.

“Scootch!” James demanded, plopping down beside him and trying with little success to wrench a corner of the blanket into his lap. “Ugh, you should share. You’re such a blanket hog!”

Sirius snorted and moved to tuck the blanket more firmly around himself. “Leave me alone and stop being so selfish. I know for a fact that you have blankets in your room.”

“But they’re all the way over there,” the man whined.

With a grunt, Sirius unwrapped a bit of the blanket and tossed it onto his friend who immediately took it and snuggled into his side. James had always been a very tactile person. The two of them had often shared a bed at school those first few years. The pair were close, practically brothers and now business partners, too. Unfortunately, this closeness translated into James becoming something of a mind-reader whenever it came to Sirius.

“Why hasn’t he texted me yet?” he finally whispered into the mop James called hair.

“Because he’s a grad student doing grad student things?” James supplied with a shrug of his shoulders.

Sirius sighed, “Yeah, I guess you’re right. I just-”

His phone chirped. In his haste to pick up the mobile, Sirius accidentally dropped it right into his mug of lukewarm tea. He swore and fished the device out of the mug, silently praying to whatever technology gods existed that his phone still worked. Sirius quickly dried it off against his jeans, took a deep breath and clicked on the messaging app.

Hi Sirius, 

It was really nice to meet you. Sorry, for the delay, I had class and then fell asleep.

This is Remus btw.

Sirius’ face lit up like a Christmas Tree. His heart raced a million kilometres a minute, and he could feel a pink tinge bloom across his neck and creep to the tips of his ears. Before he could think better of it, Sirius saved Remus’ number as “🌜Hot Moony🌛” and fired off a message:

Hey! Nice to meet you too. Would you like to meet me for a drink?

[tabloidtoc]

Globe, December 28

You can buy a copy of this issue for your very own at my eBay store: https://www.ebay.com/str/bradentonbooks

Cover: Farewell to 93 legends we loved and lost in 2020 

Page 2: Up Front & Personal -- Steve Martin holds a green pepper on the NYC set of Only Murders in the Building, Derek Hough is light on his feet at the MTV Movie & TV Awards 

Page 3: Julia Roberts looks scary skinny during a solo stroll in Hawaii, Chris Pratt hoists a hoverboard during an L.A. workout 

Page 4: Troubled twosome Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossi are hoping to put their year from hell behind them by renewing their vows over the holidays in a desperate big to keep their love alive -- Ellen wants to prove her long-suffering wife comes first ahead of Ellen’s daytime talk show and her many celebrity friends and is going all out to show it -- penny-pincher Ellen opened her wallet as wide as her heart telling Portia she could spend whatever she wants on clothes, food, drinks, music and invite whoever she wants at the New Year’s vow ceremony on a Santa Barbara beach

Page 5: Obsessive Blake Shelton is so stressed over his upcoming wedding to Gwen Stefani he’s turning into the Groomzilla from hell -- he is sparing no expense and shelling out millions to redo his Oklahoma ranch to impress the couple’s Tinseltown friends but the mountain of stuff still to be done is driving him around the bend even though no one’s putting pressure on him but he’s obsessed with the wedding details and driving his staff crazy with his constant orders and revisions -- he’s building a chapel on the ranch and a lighted boat for a romantic wedding cruise on the lake and picking the style of the canopy for the banquet floor and re-landscaping the grounds and adding a color-themed garden

* Kenya Moore of Real Housewives of Atlanta reveals she went on a date with Kanye West but bolted when she caught him watching inappropriate flicks -- she described the outing with Kanye as a disaster date and they ended up going to his house where he left her alone, wandering around and when she followed the noises he was watching something on TV that he probably shouldn’t have been and that was her exit 

Page 6: Matthew Perry was such a slave to his addiction his former galpal Kayti Edwards says he’d send her to score drugs while she was pregnant and Matthew insisted she was the perfect drug mule because he believed cops wouldn’t stop a gal in her condition Kayti claims in a shocking tell-all about her 2011 romance with Matthew -- she says his ravenous cravings for cocaine and heroin were so out of control that he once superglued his hands to his legs and he took up to 80 Vicodin pills daily -- Kayti claims she was trying to protect Matthew because she feared he’d end up wandering around the streets and being nabbed by cops or snapped by photogs but she was also getting paid big bucks like $3000 to $4000 a day 

Page 7: Duchess Camilla’s taste for an early morning tipple has rubbed off on husband Prince Charles who is now so hooked on the sauce he starts the day guzzling a powerful gin martini with breakfast and now Charles’ alarmed staffers and pals are talking about an intervention to remind him not to go down the path that put his second wife in rehab -- Charles’ booze consumption has been off the charts for years but drinking first thing in the morning with his breakfast is a new low -- Charles laughs off suggestions he has a booze issue but one look at his bloodshot face tells the story 

* Now that a COVID-19 vaccine’s been approved in Britain Queen Elizabeth says she’s going to get the shot but wait her turn instead of pulling royal rank but she and husband Prince Philip won’t wait long because at their ages they’re in the second group to get the vaccine which is health care workers and people over 80 

Page 8: Helena Bonham Carter has a world-shakin’ suggestion for gals frustrated by the COVID-19 lockdown: get a vibrator -- she says women shouldn’t worry about snaring a beau during the pandemic but that’s easy for her to say because she’s currently cuddling with toyboy writer Rye Dag Holmboe 

* George Clooney confesses wife Amal Clooney had him shaking in his boots when he popped the question and she didn’t answer -- he asked her out of the blue but instead of squealing yes immediately the brainy lawyer just stood there -- George says he was on his knee for like 20 minutes and finally said he was going to throw his hip out -- Amal finally agreed and the couple have three-year-old twins 

* The nip/tuck freak daughter of Olivia Newton-John is being blasted as a hypocrite for coming out against the new COVID-19 vaccines -- Chloe Lattanzi claims she doesn’t trust doctors or the vaccine but critics note she had no problem shelling out an estimated $550,000 to plastic surgeons for nose jobs, super-sized boobs and ballooned lips 

Page 9: Since his life-threatening health scare game show icon Pat Sajak’s been testy and snapping at contestants and crew members leaving insiders fearing he’s heading for a breakdown -- the once-cheery Wheel of Fortune host is a different man since recovering from emergency surgery for a blocked intestine and is having difficulty coping with the workload -- he just can’t keep up with the pace and he’s pushed to the very limit and can’t seem to function doing this job and it’s all spilling over and manifesting into these ugly outbursts which are shocking viewers -- he even glares at long-time help-mate Vanna White when he gets frustrated or forgetful and she is really too nice to complain about it but she’s definitely been taken aback by his behavior 

Page 10: Proof UFOs are real -- new photos taken by Navy jets reveal we are not alone 

Page 12: Celebrity Buzz -- WWE legend Ric Flair (picture), Real Housewives of Orange County’s Braunwyn Windham-Burke maintains she’s not attracted to men despite renewing her wedding vows with her husband of over two decades -- she says she is gay but she loves husband Sean Burke and they plan on staying married although they don’t sleep in the same bedroom and they are raising their kids together but he knows the girl she’s dating and he’s been given the thumbs-up to date too, Liam Payne believes he’s being haunted by spooks -- convinced spooky spirits were inhabiting his West London digs Liam moved but spooks popped up at the new pad and he thinks the new house is even more haunted than the old one, George Clooney handpicked an even better looking doppelganger to play his younger self in his new flick The Midnight Sky who is screen legend Gregory Peck’s grandson Ethan Peck -- George said it was tricky because people know what he looked like when he was 35 years old but he rejected the high-tech gizmos used to weirdly reverse Robert De Niro’s age in The Irishman but he did mix his voice with Ethan’s since his voice is pretty recognizable, Matthew McConaughey’s kids Levi and Vida used their phones to photograph him for his latest magazine covers because of quarantine they couldn’t do normal photoshoots so the kids became the photographers 

Page 13: Tom Arnold dines out in Rome (picture), Aubrey O’Day (picture), Brooke Burke in Mexico (picture), pregnant Meghan Trainor was diagnosed with gestational diabetes and she’s healthy and her baby boy is healthy but she has to really pay attention to everything she eats 

Page 14: Luke Evans denies hiding in the closet to advance his Hollywood career saying it was the last thing he had because everything else he’d given to the world and adding that he left home at 16 because he was gay and went into the world as a kid because he had to, Mindy Kaling managed to keep two pregnancies under cover and kept the kids’ middle names under wraps until now -- a fan wondered why Mindy who is of a Indian heritage gave her kids Caucasian names but their names are Katherine Swati and Spencer Avu 

* Fashion Verdict -- Blanca Suarez 3/10, Olivia Palermo 1/10, Nicky Hilton 9/10, Bella Heathcote 2/10, Catt Sadler 8/10 

Page 16: True Crime 

Page 17: Martha Stewart confesses her painful divorce in 1990 was a terrible thing and she hasn’t talked to ex-husband Andrew Stewart since but she bounced back from the pain and her infamous prison stint because she’s very strong and motivated to get on with life -- still Martha admits being dumped by her husband for another woman after 29 years of marriage nearly did her in -- Martha also reveals serving five months in West Virginia in 2004 on a federal insider stock trading rap was a struggle but she got through it by working on her arts and crafts 

Page 19: 10 Things You Don’t Know About Don Lemon 

* Dolly Parton pulled no punches when discussing her longtime romance with Carl Dean dishing she and her husband have been together for 57 years and married for 54 and she’s sick of him and she’s sure he’s sick of her -- the couple have rarely been seen in public together and she says their marriage succeeds because she stays gone and they’re not in each other’s faces all the time 

* Miley Cyrus says she’s mastered the art of staying safe during lockdown love and it’s by having online sex -- she said the safest sex in these COVID-crazy times is the virtual kind and that’s where Miley has been hooking up

Page 21: Cover Story -- Thanks for the Memories -- tribute to the stars we loved and lost in 2020 

Page 22: Alex Trebek 

Page 23: Kobe Bryant and daughter Gianna, Kelly Preston 

Page 24: Kirk Douglas, Sean Connery 

Page 25: Olivia de Havilland, Chadwick Boseman 

Page 26: Robert Conrad, Naya Rivera 

Page 27: Regis Philbin 

Page 28: Kenny Rogers, Roy Horn 

Page 29: Eddie Van Halen, Little Richard 

Page 36: Health Report -- eating bread can toast your brain 

Page 38: Ghostbusters icon Dan Aykroyd has turned into a ghoulish recluse who rarely leaves his $25 million Martha’s Vineyard estate where he’s now eerily planning his own funeral -- the bizarre 68-year-old appears perfectly healthy yet he spooks around in his bed clothes muttering about who he wants to officiate at his memorial service and the goodies the chef should serve at the wake -- the curious thing is he appears to be in no danger of dropping dead anytime soon and he’s sturdy as a horse which is surprising given the cigars and the vodka and the big meals he enjoys -- Dan’s wife of 37 years Donna Dixon has gotten used to her husband’s ghoulish monologues

* Bob Dylan sold his extensive back catalog of more than 600 songs including Blowin’ in the Wind and Knockin’ on Heaven’s Door to Universal Music in a blockbuster deal topping $300 million 

Page 40: Patrick Stewart confesses he’s been furious all his life and he’s still seeing a shrink to control his rage -- he reveals he’s burned with rage inside since childhood when he witnessed his dad’s violence against his mom and he had to suppress all that anger -- at age 14 he feared he’d explode and kill his headmaster when he caned him and later he worried he’d hurt his two children with first wife Sheila Falconer in a fit of fury and now at age 80 it’s still there so he sees a therapist every week 

Page 44: Straight Talk -- The Weeknd has his nose out of joint because he wasn’t nominated for any Grammys this year and he claims he’s being snubbed because he’ll be starring on the February 7 Super Bowl halftime show a week after the Grammys 

Page 45: Jeffrey Epstein’s accused madam Ghislaine Maxwell is a paranoid mess losing her hair and wasting away in federal prison where she’s terrified shadowy forces have marked her for death -- the shrinking British socialite who denies recruiting and grooming underage girls for Epstein’s twisted lust is charged with sex trafficking minors as she rots in Brooklyn’s Metropolitan Detention Center awaiting trial next year 

Page 47: Bizarre But True