#(they just don't typically learn how to learn it? so encountering someone with a totally different pattern can be really hard)

[english-mace]

1, 12, 32

what are 3 things you’d say shaped you into who you are?

spite, Terry Pratchett, and autism 👌🏻

12. what's some good advice you want to share?

hmm well that really depends so much on to whom, in what context, with what life challenge in front of them. but let's go with: if you're in a situation with some base expectation of politeness (colleagues, classmates, some kind of group activity - ie not 'random stranger being an asshole') and someone does or says something either wildly annoying, stupid, clout-grabbing, or whatever: try to build the habit of responding with some variety of "Interesting. Could you help me understand where you're coming from with that?"

I'm never one to say 'assume good intent' - no, fuck that, the other person really might be gunning for your shift or lazing out of the group project. But performing that openness gives you all the cards. If they didn't realize they were in the wrong, this lets them save face while dialing it back. If they know they're in the wrong, suddenly they have to justify it in plain language in front of others, and it may seem easier to back off than double down. And sometimes? You actually are missing information that means you are in the wrong - if you come in with a temper straight off the bat, you're gonna be real embarrassed real quick.

at the end of the day work/school/community-building is about getting along with others well enough to get what you want - a good grade, a promotion, invitations back to the next d&d night, whatever. being right can come later, when tempers cool.

32. how many tabs do you have open right now?

on this machine? only 11! 5 of which are Ao3, of course.

do not ask about my tablet. it's terrifying. and my work machines are so much worse. I spend my whole dayjob life writing google docs or reviewing other people's google docs, every single tab is so narrow all you can see is that little blue page icon, I regularly declare bankruptcy and have to keep a doc with a list of all the docs I've read/reviewed so I can ctrl-f for things I was mid-reading when the tab reaping urge (or the audible laptop overheat) struck >.>

[sugasiren]

☆ASTRO FACTS☆ ♈️

The Aries Woman & Her Real Power ❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥 Pt 1

**FYI - this blog contains mature content.

Time to clear up some misconceptions! And confirm some truths. So pull up your seat, grab a snack & prepare for TOTAL fucking honesty. 💯 While this post is primarily about Aries Suns, much of it can also be applied to other Aries placements in general. So take whatever resonates.

♈️ Aries Women are usually into more dominant, masculine types. They adore men who are stronger & smarter than them whom they can learn from. 👍While Aries Women are indeed fully capable of taking care of themselves, they love knowing that they can lean on and trust the man that they love if needed. They prefer reliable partners with backbone. They have NO respect for passive males, as they will DESTROY a weaker man's soul. 🔥 Eat him alive just like the large plant in the 'Little Shop of Horrors' movie. 🤣 It truly ain't pretty!

♈️ Contrary to popular LIES... many Aries Women are VERY feminine. They aren't doormats though! Nor the girl-next-door type. Ram Women typically embody the "Hot Girl" or the "Femme Fatale" brand of Femininity. ❤️‍🔥 She's often the Leader of the pack whom other women model themselves after & want to be like. Jayne Mansfield, Diana Ross & Mariah Carey - Aries Sun 🌞; Sade, Janet Jackson, Pam Anderson - Aries Moon 🌙; Marilyn Monroe & Liz Taylor - Aries Venus ⚘️. Are any of these women Tomboys?? FUCK NO! They are womanly, spicy & passionate beings. Learn the damn difference.

I sometimes find that Taurus, Cancer & Virgo Women can push the "masculine" stereotype onto Aries Women the most because they wish to be more like them in certain ways. 💯 For instance, most Aries Women aren't taking care of ANY man. But I've seen Taurus paying for men, Cancer mothering men & Virgo trying to train men into being obedient dogs! Add to that, Scorpio Women are often control freaks who insist on leading. Sag & Aquarius Women are rebels who often try to compete with & emasculate any man that they encounter. So who's actually lacking in Femininity here?? Not Aries, from what I see. 🤷🏾‍♀️ Lots of projection going on.

♈️ Aries Women are indeed outspoken. They are typically confident & in possession of strong boundaries. They are open & honest communicators who aren't afraid to ask for what they want. Most Men LOVE this about them and wish more women were like this! 🩷 Alternatively, deep inside of every Ram Woman is a sweet, adventurous little girl with a heart of GOLD who yearns to feel safe. ❤️‍🔥 A maiden wanting her protector! They're an astonishing blend of pure innocence like the Spring Goddess Persephone + the wit & warrior spirit of Goddess Athena. 🙌 There are sooo many interesting layers to the Aries Woman!! It's insanely fascinating. They are deeply selective with who they disclose all of this to, though. So they can be misunderstood at times.

♈️ Aries Women are Masters of keeping men ON THEIR TOES in a healthy way. They like men and men adore them. 👌 They highly value autonomy, so they extend that to their partners and give them breathing room. They inspire men to be better, more powerful versions of themselves. They do have tempers!! But they don't hold grudges and their sex more than makes up for the trouble. 😺 They are playful and NEVER boring! How TF do you think we keep attracting the best of the best?? Not by being a Basic Bitch, my friends. 🤣

♈️ According to Marriage Statistics: Aries Women have the longest-lasting marriages with Leo Men, Sagittarius Men, Aquarius Men & Aries Men. ⚘️⚘️ After that, we also have solid odds with Capricorn & Taurus Men. We most often divorce Virgo, Gemini & Libra Men which makes TOTAL sense to me. Not surprised! Aries Women do not enjoy flaky and/or nitpicky partners.

♈️ Aries Women are just as sensitive & intuitive as Cancers in certain ways - we just follow our GUT instincts more than the emotions of our heart. 🔥 We're rarely wrong about someone's character. We bully the bullies! And *if* we care about you, we have your back until the very end. But if you betray us?? You will go from feeling like the most special person in the world... to the most worthless piece of gum scraping off the bottom of our shoe as we walk away from you FOREVER. 🙌 Do not play with us!! Don't play yourself by losing the best prize you'll ever have.

That's all for now, darlings. Happy Aries Season!! ♈️ And thanks so very much for all of the new follows, shares & support!

[team-heavenly]

And Now, An Interlude

I did coast through Blizzard Island pretty quick, but my next week or so is kind of insane. I'm out of state from 11/6-11/9 and I'm honestly not sure I can get the arc posted before then :(

But for every cloud, there's a silver lining. I definitely have time to share the nonsense I got into while I was stitching together the Sky Peak post. I really wanted to keep playing the game but without advancing the plot and getting ahead of the blog, so... I improvised.

This picture is basically the theme of the post so enjoy lol

(No, we did not recruit her unfortunately 😔)

First, I want to share some teammates I snagged... and some I lost.

LOOK AT THIS GOD TIER STARAPTOR. Literally the GOAT. I was so, so upset when our client Pidgeotto later got destroyed by a Monster House. I suppose I could have gone through with the defeat, but the risk of losing more than a few exclusive items just wasn't worth it.

But we did get to keep someone I'm pretty sure is Young Guildmaster Wigglytuff:

And HE COULD LEARN ROAR OF TIME. SO I SAID "SURE WHY NOT" AND GAVE HIM THE TM.

It's not a practical set of moves by any means (confusion from Petal Dance (which missed a whole ton anyway), 30% accuracy on Fissure, low PP and stall after using Roar of Time), but definitely fun to play with.

Andrea also tried learning Vine Whip upon level up, but... It wasn't very strong, so I passed on it. Honestly, unless she gets something incredible, I'm thinking her current move set is final.

...Yeah, I told you this was gonna be a common thread. Thankfully we dodged an encounter with the ancient god of the land because... *gestures to the stairs Being Right There*

After a few days of odd jobs, I realized I didn't want our duo getting too far along the experience curve. But how else could I satisfy my itch to keep playing this game? I could play as other Pokémon, sure, but most of them were far too weak for the average Bulletin Board request.

...And then I remembered: I hadn't tried a single dungeon from Poliwhirl's Dojo yet.

(Okay yeah I took these photos after completing all of them but shhhh)

This was our menu of offerings (loaded with affluence and laughter, apparently). Some were conquered on the first try. Some required a little bit of elbow grease. And some... well, they certainly put my patience to the test. I remember Affluent Turn, Hilarious Court, Prosperous Outback, and Hilarious Abyss being particularly troublesome.

"Wait, but aren't the dojo mazes only five floors-" Correct! But these dungeons are randomized like any other, meaning they have three things the mazes typically don't: traps, monster houses, and a whole lot of sticky items.

Granted, this was the squad:

But the traditional starters are well-boosted in the stats to begin with, so it wasn't too bad. And this is a randomizer, so...

I'msorryCharmanderlearnedWHAT?!

(I now want to watch an anime episode where a tiny Igglybuff and Charmander wreck Dialga's sh*t with Roar of Time.)

After enough tries, we were able to nudge the three starters towards evolution. And hilariously, they all insisted on learning OHKO moves (and Dig for some reason):

G-Grovyle, my beloved...

You Do Not See The Palkia, Grovyle Is Clearly Fighting Primal Dialga Here.

Yet the one thing that was consistent across these dungeons to the point of skepticism... was the sheer abundance of legendaries.

Like I honestly think it would be easier for me to list the legendaries NOT included. That's how many there were. Take a gander at this list (bold indicates the Pokémon sighted):

Kanto: Articuno, Zapdos, Moltres, Mewtwo, Mew

Johto: Raikou, Entei, Suicune, Lugia, Ho-Oh, Celebi

Hoenn: Regirock, Regice, Registeel, Kyogre, Groudon, Rayquaza, Jirachi, Deoxys (multiple forms, all mirage)

Sinnoh: Uxie, Mesprit, Azelf, Dialga, Palkia, Heatran, Regigigas, Giratina (both forms), Cresselia, Phione, Manaphy, Darkrai, Shaymin (both forms)

Most of these were in the Final Maze, too. No wonder it was called this instead:

In total, we only recruited two of these legends, which is pretty impressive when you remember you're forced into these places with an empty bag (so no items to help increase the recruitment rate). The first, as you can see above, was Uxie, one of the True Time Gear Guardians.

Not bad! Not bad at all.

And the second... the second is pretty special. I'm still giddy about it even all these days later:

😍 YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT. I RECRUITED THE LADY HERSELF!

I SCREECHED when I saw her in the dungeon to begin with, so you can imagine the commotion I made when she wanted to join the team!! When you talked to her in a dungeon, she even said the phrases. You know, stuff like hating the decay brought about by the world of darkness, and there being no need to worry because she can't ever be caught, of course!

I suppose she's a little confused by her displacement in time and space, but you know what? This really makes it feel like her... so I wouldn't have it any other way <3

She originally joined us at Level 38. I already knew, without a doubt, that she was gonna become a permanent fixture of the team. So I loaded her up with 3 Golden Seeds, every Gummi I had leftover from the mazes, and some Proteins.

Why Protein? Well, she originally knew... Tackle, Endeavor, Strength, and Meteor Mash lol. Her attack stat was also dreadfully low, so why not catch that up to the others when I happen to be swimming in Proteins?

I did also feed her some TMs to diversify the move set a little:

This shot is actually outdated already: presently she knows Super Fang instead of Rock Climb and Hidden Power instead of Defend Order.

There is one slightly unfortunate caveat to my sheer excitement:

Yeah... Normalize. So she can't benefit from the STAB on Giga Drain. But I suppose there are worse things.

Here's something I doubt many people have seen! You're technically not supposed to be able to speak with her in Rotom's Cafe, right? So of course I was dying to know what she said when you spoke to her there, and:

Forgive the desaturation and such, as you can see by the reflection I snapped this one with my phone 💀

Interesting, no? Read that again: Magneton. If you recall, that Pokémon was her replacement in the story! Funny to see it show up here, in what I can only presume is the title of her idle pose. For reasons unknown to me, sometimes she said "standby 2" instead.

Anyway, she and the Gabite you saw earlier were our tried and true teammates during our many, many attempts to conquer Massive Tomb. To skirt around the excess EXP problem, I simply reset whenever things went awry.

The thing with Massive Tomb is... It has 48 floors, right? (Which I found odd, why not make it 50 at that point?) And you're not allowed any items upon entry. So either you miraculously find a string of Secret Bazaars to replenish your belly until you find an Apple of some kind (lol) or you starved to death by floor 11. Oh, and basically every other floor was a Monster House. So it really came down to sheer luck.

There was one attempt where I got as far as 43F. But my string of good fortune turned sour: back-to-back Monster Houses slowly picked off my teammates and made Andrea run out of PP for Blizzard. So when we ran into yet another Monster House (this time mandatory), all it took was one Triple Kick from Persian before it's all over. That loss felt particularly devastating.

The one attempt that finally succeeded was the one where we didn't run into a single MH until we were over 2/3s of the way through. Although the one that did finally show up nearly ended me.

But finally... Finally!

YEEEEEEEHAAAAAAAW!

On the one hand: Can you imagine if the aura you got at the beginning was Brown? I would be so mad if I had two of the same color lol. Though on the other hand, aura color doesn't really matter? It only shows up in the flavor text and item sprite - the latter of which you only see if the item gets knocked off of you.

But hey, I'll take it. I'm just glad I finally got through the darn place!

Oh geez, this "mini update" was very close to 30 images somehow 😬 But I hope you enjoyed seeing this not-insignificant, optional part of the main world!

Bonus:

...Okay I guess I lied, we recruited three legends.

[ayearwithoutwater]

Twenty-eight.

I met Jim on Grindr. I don't think either of us was looking for anything more than a casual encounter but, at the same time, I also don't think we weren't not looking for something more.

Sometimes, I think it's a very lonely time to be gay. The disappearance of third spaces, typically public outdoors that don't require a purchase to be made, and the digital shift have irrefutably resulted in a more isolated existence because community has become harder to locate. Couple that with the persistent anxiety underlying every new encounter—how would this stranger react if they discovered my homosexuality, and would that put me in immediate danger?—and it's not difficult to understand why so many hesitate to put themselves out there.

Then again, it feels like there's always been an element of loneliness inherent to being gay. Save for a possible dip in the 2010s, homophobic hate crimes have persevered as a result of far right political extremists and a feckless center-left, and systemic discrimination has not meaningfully abated. Erin Reed reports that over eighty anti-LGBTQ bills were proposed across the United States this time last year; today, that number totals almost one hundred and twenty year-to-date, a fifty percent increase year-over-year. It's not just that we're under attack—our very existence is up for eradication.

More than just queer-friendly spaces, there continues to be a dearth of queer-focused communities, especially for those who don't already know where to find them; I'm sad to report that we aren't given a how-to manual upon initiation by Big Gay. As it relates to us finding each other, then, I think it's quite logical to say that we're still having a bit of a rough time.

There's a train of thought somewhere out there that explains why gay people have, on average, a more protracted coming of age than our straight counterparts. Adolescence means high school is rife with emotions—who has a crush on who, who's dating who—but the added layers of uncertainty, self-discovery, and acceptance mean that we aren't able to start such intermingling until later, stereotypically during college.

My chief complaint throughout my twenties as I dated men my age was that they weren't mature enough and, as a consequence, didn't know how to behave. Anxieties and insecurities manifested in bad behavior and faulty logic that defied what I thought—hoped—was common sense. Case in point: "forgetting" to forgo dating apps when you're seeing someone.

I'm not without my own faults, too. When I dated Wayne, my second boyfriend, we had a stretch of months during which we were physically separated as he went on vacation. I was twenty-three and bored, so I downloaded Grindr, everyone's favorite app for hooking up. I knew it was verboten, but I had no intention of actually interacting with anyone, so I kept my account anonymous with generic photos of men I'd come across on Tumblr. I wanted to snoop around and see who else in my neighborhood was gay. Wayne caught me, of course, and he was justifiably upset. It took some time for me to earn back his trust, but I showed him the account I'd made and how I truthfully didn't talk to anyone. I was just being nosy. You learn from your mistakes, but you have to have the opportunity to make those mistakes in the first place.

As I spent more and more time with Jim, years after my relationship with Wayne, I noticed that Jim, whenever he'd scroll through his phone next to me, still had his dating apps installed. It didn't really bother me at first. In the early few months, Jim and I might have been friends with benefits, although we were hardly even friends—we didn't really know each other. Maybe it's more accurate to characterize us as having been acquaintances with benefits; we only hung out to hook up. That suited me fine: my demisexuality dictates my preference to partake in such activities with the same person, as opposed to spreading the love around, so to speak.

But, when he asked to date me more intentionally, it gave me pause. I'd already done away with my dating apps months before, but I knew he still retained his on his iPhone. If he was serious about wanting to be with me, why was he keeping the metaphorical door open?

I tried not to think about it too much. We hadn't had a conversation about exclusivity, a conversation that I was more than capable of initiating myself if I so wished, and I personally didn't want to jump headfirst into a committed relationship with him anyways because I barely knew him. I told him that I wasn't in a rush, that I was open to the possibility of something more, and that I would be willing to see what would happen between us.

So, I did. I let things take their natural course without proactively nudging them along too much. We attended Boiler Room sets, declared a shared favorite pizza spot, and watched a Nicole Kidman series (Expats, in which she fabulously acts out her part) together. His beloved childhood cat passed away and I held him through his grief. I booked a Valentine's Day dinner for us at Torishin and preserved for later the candle they presented us to mark the occasion, conveniently also the anniversary of the start of our commingling; I had grand plans to frame that candle, from our first Valentine's together, as a gift for him.

I found myself in a situationship of my own making. Neither of us brought up exclusivity and commitment, perhaps for different reasons. I guessed that he wasn't sure how to go about doing that, because he'd told me that he'd never really dated anyone before and only started doing so when he turned twenty-five; for my part, I didn't want to invest too much of myself into a relationship that I felt was doomed.

Through it all, I noticed that he never removed the apps. He also made no effort to conceal them from me, so I figured he either wasn't that serious about them or that serious about us. Regardless, I was annoyed. I thought he could've at least given the appearance of wanting to date more seriously, but I also wondered if he knew how. Despite his inexperience, it was also true that we were thirty years old—literal adults—and I didn't want to have to state the obvious; I thought he should've known better, at our age and supposed maturity. All the same, I knew that I didn't see us going all the way, and so I never mentioned it. There was no point.

Maybe it was a self-fulfilling prophecy, but we fell apart and stopped seeing each other. I wanted more from someone who was supposed to be my partner, and I felt that I never got that from him. Equally, I never gave that much of myself to him. Maybe I was being unfair.

Afterwards, I re-downloaded and logged back into my accounts on Grindr, Hinge, etc., but I wasn't there for long. I was searching for something, but that something eluded me. I didn't think I could find it on the apps. I deleted my accounts, and then I deleted the apps.

In the end, I never gave him the candle. I cradled it in my palm, reminiscing about him blowing it out over our panna cotta dessert; it had been a sweet-but-not-too-sweet finish to a meal I'd anticipated for years, at a restaurant I'd finally had a reason to visit. I pressed the wax back into the napkin in which I'd secreted it away from our dinner, and I threw it into my trash can. With it, I let go of any regret or remorse. It was what it was.

[unavailable-fan]

Just a rant on the topic of fighting anime/manga/movies/etc

I have a love-hate relationship with stories focused on fighting, like school gangs, anime delinquents, martial arts sort of things. I love them cause yeah cool action is so liberating to see, fights choreography is an art of its own, makes you wanna go out and use that muscle bag of your own too. I love all this "action as communication and expression of feelings" idea at least in theory and stories. But also violence irl sucks most of the time, but still some people get to have that fun through fights irl and sometimes no person involved actually suffered so it's cool, but it's rare. And that's probably something to talk through with a therapist but whatever. That i really really don't like about most stories of that type is that they're positioned like "straight guys expressing themselves as MEN, cause it's MANLY and of course they have their MANLY teenage problems and their rage that's how they grow into real MEN by solving them through fights ugh". And by positioned i really mean that and only that, cause there are lots of subplots that would fit proper queer story in those types of stories than in some stories about actual queer characters. And there's a message usually that's like "well, it's ok to feel rage" and that's cool, that's right, you need to express negative emotions to be able to let them go but you also need to learn to process them in a way that wouldn't cause too much harm, and sometimes it's a fight with an actually worthy opponent who also gets your rage and so on. I like this idea. But like, there's so much rage that needs to be expressed when you're actually a typical cis straight guy, if you differ in any of these parameters then there's a chance you wanted to like bite, scratch, fight through problems too. But you're told it's totally unproductive, or that it doesn't fit an image a group you belong to has in a society or something similar. And it's true, but also, hey, maybe wanting a story that actually represents this type of rage and want to express it is not that weird. Like ORV kinda gets it best from that i've seen and it uses this in later story and gods it's cool to be seen and feel like someone understands this. Where are my fighting girls who are able to learn to cope through fights of get to have this "i want to be stronger" type of story and live successfully through it? Where are my trans/nb/non-conforming fellas trying to find out how they want to approach the topic of violence and how to deal with it and who are just generally enraged by all the erasing and constant rebuilding of self cause that's what not fitting the norm can make you feel? Where are romances built on the ground of rivalry with an equal, or comradery, or trying to grow after being inspired by someone, or once again rage cause hey some things are difficult to navigate esp if you're once again realizing you're outside the norm? And once again, i actually love these types of stories as they are, that's how i first encountered them, of course i still like them. But hey, maybe that's just a path of genre i want to see explored in the future, and that's what i want to express. So anyway, violence irl - sucks, violence in art and stories - fascinating and can potentially help you deal with irl stuff better.

[ravenousnightwind]

Lemme say first that i totally agree. But imma examine this closely. It's gonna be a long post. Let's go.

Some of it is due to righteous ideology. They feel they have a moral obligation to do it for whatever reason. Others have the concept of "but culture is meant to be shared." They can't understand the concepts of marginalized communities or why they'd want to close off such beauty to the world. However, others see it as their right if they feel drawn to that culture or practice. They'll just appropriate things, even by using standardized understanding and research by those marginalized groups, to understand the practice as a whole so they can then practice it themselves without anyone's say in the matter. Which I consider morally wrong. As their understanding of it can't possibly be accurate to how it's taught in the culture itself when you live it. Nuff said on that, really. They're selfish and care more about their own feelings about this idea of the practice they see or read about than they care about how it harms or even causes a decline in the original cultures.

Some people actually have this other form of righteous ideology where they actually believe it doesn't matter so they're just gonna take it. This sounds familiar because it is typically Americans who do it. It's the whole idea of freedom and you can't tell me what to do. Hey, I mean, I get that, but if someone told me I was doing wrong I'd idk maybe listen if I were practicing say, native beliefs? The other aspect of this is that they might have some ancestry to Native Americans (I'm using those cultures as an example as I am American and have also had other Americans talk about their bloodline profusely.), so they believe thst they automatically have a right to practice or pursue practice because it's part of their ancestry, usually in some vague sense. (I do not personally believe this, and I also supposedly have, according to my family, native ancestry. I didn't grow up in that culture so it's not part of me.)

Speaking on Americans especially. I've not really encountered any other people outside of America who believed in this sort of thing as heavily. I've known some Europeans who expressed similar views, but it was more like a lite version of it than anything else. Like some Europeans, they don't believe racism exists because we're all one big human race. Which..idk is kinda racist or idk something? I don't agree with that either.

However, america is based on many different things, and the one thing we all know is that Americans can be quite arrogant and think they know or can do anything because they feel like it. They see religion as a personal journey, and I'll agree that it is, but they blow it outta proportion and think it is only personal, that beliefs can't belong to a people, or that it's illogical to try to isolate them because then we'll become xenophobic and lose everything. (Their words, not mine. I also disagree with that statement.)

It is not to say, however, that only Americans are like this. There was another lady on YouTube who was claiming to have lost norse magic secrets. I forget her name. But she was basically talking about the practices of the Sami (sp) and sharing it on the internet from what she supposedly learned from her friends where she lives. She also touted all kinds of nonsense about how she has a right because, like I said above, the whole idea of culture is meant to be shared. (Also disagree) She made this long ass video about how culture was meant to be shared and sharing various information about cultural exchange as if it was an excuse to take information freely given and not only to use as her own practice, but to talk about it to other people. Many others who were also within those cultures asked her not to. She did anyways.

So, a lot of this in conclusion has to do with idealisms surrounding the idea of what culture is, what you do with it. They can't fathom anything outside that. They feel personally offended someone would literally just come along and tell them not to do a thing they've been doing for years or whatever. The thing it all has in common with every person I've encountered or known, even people who weren't pagan or spiritual at all in any sense, is that they have a personal interest or right in some way. Whatever their justification is. They don't care about boundaries, nor do they care or think about their own actions. They're just offended. Offended someone would dare question their rights. With Americans, it's easy to sort out cuz the way the country was founded was through a rebellion. But the European lady I mentioned, her right and reason, was because of her supposed friends. So, I can't say for sure, but I'm pretty sure, maybe 85.6% sure that number one, they are highly confident people, and have prior idealisms about why they deserve or have the right or claim to take or use the information, even at the expense of others.

It's honestly and truly fucked. I don't just not agree, I find it quite appauling that their sense of confidence and pride outweighs their ability for self reflection. It's not just gross. It's like almost evil when it concerns some people. (Evil as in they choose it and don't care about the consequences even when they know what happens. They might even do it out of spite, which is even worse)

You know, I don't understand how respecting other witches'/magic workers'/spiritualism practitioners' boundaries could be so very hard.

This practice is closed to outsiders? Just don't do it if you're not invited then.

This thing people don't want said/done to them? Just don't do it to them then.

Why are people's boundaries just so difficult for some of you?

[yaksha-lover]

howdy! werewolf anon back again! ^^ idk if this fits with what your doing with the vampire au but id love to see a few of the characters (mainly malleus and epel) reacting to a werewolf MC? totally fine if you don't wanna write this I'm just a sucker for werewolf x vampire stuff lol

Hi, I am so, so sorry this took forever, I hope you like the characters I picked other than Mal and Epel okay dhjdididk also werewolf x vampire stuff is top tier so feel free to send more asks about it if you’d like :)

Malleus has encountered many werewolves before in his life, so he isn’t too concerned about you because of that fact. However, he hasn’t really been in close contact with any werewolves so he is interested in you both in a personal way and because of your species. In vampire society, werewolves are typically viewed as feral and beneath them, but because Malleus has been raised by Lilia, he knows better than to believe the stereotypes and prejudice. If you’re open too it, he’d love to ask you questions about both werewolves and your life. In exchange, he’ll allow you to ask questions about him. It doesn’t bother him at all that you’re a werewolf, and he would never let that stop him from starting a relationship with you, even if others (namely other snobby, ‘pureblood’ vampires) may believe a vampire x werewolf couple to be bizzare.

Epel would be the most outright scared at first. You’re the first werewolf he’s ever met, and he doesn’t know much about them other than what’s been portrayed in movies. He does understand the irony in believing such stereotypes considering he is a vampire, but he doesn’t have much else to go off of. The longer you spend around him, the more comfortable he’d get. Once he asks you a few questions, he’ll come to realize how all the things he thought were mostly incorrect, and he’ll feel a bit stupid. Eventually, he doesn’t even think about you as a werewolf, just seeing his good friend. One thing about werewolves that Epel really loves is the whole ‘mate for life’ (similar to what Jack said about wolf beastmen in Ace’s vignette) thing that you told him about. The concept is very romantic to him, and he’d be determined to become your one and only lover.

Leona is pretty unbothered when you first show up. He isn’t scared of you, and he doesn’t care enough to be curious about a stranger, even if they are a werewolf. If you stick around long enough that he’s forced to know you, he’d actually take quite a liking to a werewolf!MC. I think beastmen and werewolves aren’t too dissimilar, and they could find common ground like their more ‘animalistic’ attributes.

Riddle is on edge with your presence when you first meet, but once he’s come to learn more about werewolves he relaxes around you more. He still never fully calms down (does he ever), but he’ll be more cordial and less avoidant. Secretly uses the library to do research on werewolves but will never tell you this.

Floyd would just use you being a werewolf as another way to tease you. At the same time, he’d be interested in you once he sees your capabilities. The question of whether vampires or werewolves are stronger remains without an answer, but Floyd would love to fight you (affectionately). He’d like having someone strong around who can and will fight back against his teasing, and challenge him too.

Rook would be very curious about you, he too, has never met a werewolf before. He’d take time to observe you from afar, trying to find out all about you and werewolves before approaching you. It’d definitely be unsettling when he first talks to you considering he brings up small features you’d think no one would notice. Rook would definitely romanticize the relationship; a vampire and werewolf, falling in love? He thinks star-crossed lovers is quite a beautiful trope, one he wouldn’t mind being part of at all. You’d quickly realize his romanticization isn’t as innocent as it seems, considering his want to ‘hunt and catch’ you like his prey (which he especially loves considering werewolves like yourself are often the ‘predators’).

[incorrect-ikevamp-quotes]

Hi! I love everything that you write and heh I am a fan! 😄 tbh this is my first time requesting something on Tumblr! If you don't mind and if I am not being a bother...can you write about how the guys would react If MC suddenly starts making meme references? I don't know how I got the idea but I am REALLY curious. And love you! :D

Hiya! Tyvm for the kind words, and apologies that this took a while! I hope you have the chance to enjoy it regardless ❤️❤️❤️ Love you too, sweet pea! I promise to get to the next request you’ve sent ASAP~

Aight but this would be hilarious because the range of the reactions is just ungodly. I will be putting this under a cut after Napoleon so I don’t clog up everyone’s dash, but all the suitors are included below otherwise! 

Comte is the one that recognizes a few, but didn’t really stay in modern times long enough to be as well-versed as a Gen Z kid might. Regardless he finds the wittiness and absolute chaotic fuckery to be delightful, and will 100% support the harmless nonsense. It never fails to get a laugh out of him

Mozart that first day be like: “Buzz off MC I hate you” MC, because she likes swinging bats at wasps’ nests: “Well that’s not very cash money of you” Mozart: ?????????? Comte, giggling in the bg like the secret fae he is This one’s just because I’m petty, but after the events of Comte rt I just imagine them encountering Vlad again and MC’s just “I lived bitch.” while Comte is flipping him off behind her lkjahgkjhdsg

Comte @ Leo when he finds the latter under his desk: Had it not been for the laws of this land, I would have slaughtered you.  MC: wheezing from the hallway as she’s about to give him his letters

MC: So how was your day, honey? Comte: Good, good--briefly had to go beastmode upon the punk that pilfered my lint roller MC, biting her lip to keep from laughing: So does Leo still have his kneecaps? Comte: for now.

Comte, @ literally anyone upsetting the MC: I won’t hesitate, bitch

Comte: Be careful with my emotional baggage, it’s designer

MC: What if I was evil and ran towards you at very fast speeds Comte: My arms are strong, I would catch and hug you

Leo and Dazai are the ones that don’t have a single reference point but are filled with so much dumbass chaos energy that they just. Understand immediately???? Nobody knows how or why, but they just catch on so fast--adapt the language in a matter of weeks. Never underestimate the power of combined boredom, depression, and humor

I swear to god I just see MC taking them their Blanc/Rouge and being like “here you go sir, one enslaved moisture” and they just go fucking hog wild from day one. MC starts impersonating Theo when he leaves the room around Dazai, like fake deep voice “you all only hate me because you do not like me and I am mean to you. grow up.” Or like the MC meets a baby on her travels with Leo around town and she holds them and says v seriously and sagely “So you are Baby? I have heard tales of your exploits.” and Leo about loses his shit right there. They both think MC is the funniest person alive--they’ve never been more eager to throw a ring at someone in their entire life.

Also a bonus for my beloved Dazai:  MC, facing even the slightest inconvenience (like dropping her fork) in the most dramtic voice possible: Life is not daijoubu. Dazai: wheezing

MC, after watching Theo turn down a woman at the bar in the meanest way possible: bro quit letting the darkness consume you u r scaring the hoes Dazai, literally rolling around on the ground, half-drunk and dying:

MC, walking alongside Dazai and stopping to stare at her reflection in the River Seine. Dazai’s expecting some sad or twisted shit, since people often feel comfortable talking about those things around him, but instead she just: “Oh, it’s you. The source of all my problems.” And he about falls into the river from shock HAHAHA

At this point don’t be surprised if his next book is about an absolute madlad woman similar to MC

Napoleon finds it to be a delightful quirk more than anything? He doesn’t really understand it, but he finds it funny when they change their voice for effect or speak in exaggerated tones. If it’s just comprehensible enough for an outsider to understand--or Sebas gives him context--chances are it’ll send him into a laughing fit

For this one I just imagine MC singing that Ratatouille meme song obnoxiously bad while cooking, and Napoleon and Comte are just so wildly amused by it bc it makes zero sense and it’s only vaguely French at this point

MC @ Napoleon while they’re cooking brunch: Can I offer you a nice egg in these trying times?

MC, conflicted because she’s tired and wanted to sleep in but also got to see Napo’s cute sleeping face for a few hours: For my next stunt, I’ll wake up at 5AM on the day I can sleep in. Sebas: Early to bed and early to rise makes a person healthy, wealthy, and wise MC: early to bed and early to rise makes me a massive bitch Napoleon: laughing in agreement

Isaac is the type to be bewildered and concerned at first (especially when he hears the more nihilistic ones hoOOOoooOO BOY) but eventually begins to understand it’s some bizarre attempt at humor (that hurts Zack baby). While some part of him laments that it reminds him of Dazai and he’s secretly jealous of how she and Dazai bond over it, he will sometimes join in the chaos when the mood strikes him and he’s feeling mischievous

Isaac: How are you feeling? MC: Oh, I’m not Isaac: seconds from dialing 911 Isaac: Are you okay? MC: Oh yeah dw I just suffer from that syndrome where your neutral expression makes you look like you’re an angry serial killer Isaac: say sike rn

Isaac, tutoring MC and correcting something:  MC, muttering while redoing it: The risk I took was calculated, but man am I bad at math. Isaac: unable to help a laugh

One time MC was avoiding Isaac for fear of hurting his feelings and he just confronts her like: Isaac: back by unpopular demand, me! What’s wrong, MC pls MC was so hecking proud of him

Isaac, telling MC about a recent discovery he learned at uni from another professor: bones typically heal stronger after they’ve been broken--so long as they’re set properly, of course MC, looking him dead in the eyes: So what you’re saying is that I should break every bone in my body until I become superhumanly powerful? Isaac: please do not, no

Mozart and Jeanne are just. Totally lost. Why are you talking like that??? Why are you making “crab hands”???? They don’t understand. Maybe never will. They reach a point where they just kind of laugh and shake their heads, endeared by the oddity after they’re used to it and have determined it isn’t a threat/insult. 

MC: It’s a cold and it’s a brooooken, Waluigi. Waaaaluigiiiii...waaaahluigi..... Mozart: surprised, then starts snickering and playing along on the piano

Arthur, asking MC very personal questions out loud because he is an idiot sometimes: Soooo MC, are you a top or a bottom? MC: I’m a threat. (If he asks a second time, the response will be “Wouldn’t you like to know, weatherboy.”) Jeanne, fighting a smile:

MC, about to punch an asshole: Your free trial of being alive has ended Jeanne, seconds from laughing for the first time in 100 years:

Also, because I genuinely can’t help myself. You know that knight meme like “Parry this you fucking casual.” I cannot stress enough that it is literally the personification of Jeanne’s entire character. I’m not even joking.

Arthur and Shakespeare are utterly fascinated by the rapid evolution of wordplay and the sheer hilarity. They will ask all about these so-called “memes” and ask for examples of them if MC can show them (either somehow accessing her phone or drawing them). MC draws Arthur the knife cat meme and he about a s c e n d s at the hilarity of it all, points and yells THEO IS HOLDING THE KNIFE. He is correct. They will be delighted and follow along eagerly, and--god forbid--will make their own based on late 19th century struggles.

Is this where Shakespeare got the idea for “What, you egg? stabs him” and “You are a saucy boy.”? I’m too scared to ask. Don’t even get me started on “The Fool jingled miserably across the floor.” That one is just too on the nose...

I can’t even imagine what would happen to Shakespeare if MC like translated vines and memes into Ye Olde English around him. Imagine she’s at one of those noble balls and hears rumors of these two guys living together and they’re so obviously gay and he says “And those gents w’re roommates.” And in the most false surprised tone ever MC just replies “oh mine own god, those gents w’re roommates.” Imagine having a wife that’s just as hilarious as you are and hits you with all the force of a bag of wet mice every time you speak in retaliation, he’s going into palpitations.

Every time Arthur does smth stupid MC just: “I Pretend I Do Not See It.”

Vincent is tickled pink by MC’s penchant for finding joy and/or amusement in nearly everything they do, and he smiles gently when he sees them muttering and laughing to themselves. He wants to be able to join them in what they love, but he has a harder time following along and understanding the darker humor sometimes. Mostly gets confused??? Please give him the easier ones to mimic and laugh when he tries--or just include him in your jokes MC. He’s babie your honor...

But he also. Will not. Stand any kind of self-deprecation or borderline verbal self-harm. He’s usually very easygoing and calm, but for whatever reason that stuff makes him go deathly quiet and upset.

MC, after something goes horribly wrong, hugging Vincent: Oh Vince, we really in it now Vincent: giggling a little despite his worries, relaxing

MC: Theo stop simping for Vincent that’s my job

MC, when Theo leaves the room and she gets Vincent all to herself: The evil is defeated.

MC: And this is where I would put my will to live...if I h a d one! Vincent: ;-; MC: oh shit, oh fuck, I was only kidding Vincent wait (MC was subsequently lectured and loved on for many hours)

Theo is conflicted because on the one hand, he loves to see you smiling and having fun. On the other, you’re clowning as hard as Dazai and Arthur and he can only handle so many monkeys in his circus. Most of the time he will roll his eyes and be the straight man of this comedy, but you might find him cracking a smile--or accidentally letting a chuckle slip past his lips now and again.

MC, after meeting Theo: I’m a nice person, but I’m about to start throwing rocks at people.

Theo, those first days: Oh? You’re approaching me? Instead of running away, you’re coming right to me? MC: I can’t beat the shit out of you without getting closer.

Theo: Every time I ask MC to explain “vibe check” to me she hits me with some kind of improvised weapon

MC, after the “incident” (you know the one): This year, I lost my dear lover Theo Theo, in the distance: QUIT TELLING EVERYONE I’M DEAD! MC: ;-; sometimes I can still hear his voice...

Sebastian is last because oh boy. OH BOYYYYY I LOVE HIM. Okay so the way I see this happening with Sebastian is just. So wild. Because at first he’s t r y i n g so hard to be the proper butler man. He does not meme. But then he starts to drift closer to what Niles from The Nanny was, where he’ll quip and joke in private or when the situation is just beyond the amount of absurdity he can handle without making a snarky comment. Everyone in the house can’t fathom how Sebas and MC got so close so fast, but there are points where they’re just “Are they even speaking English anymore???” It’s 11 times funnier than normal because Sebas almost never smiles or laughs when memeing, the deadpan quality of his playing along sends MC every time

Has ABSOLUTELY said “HEY. PANINI HEAD. ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO ME???” jokingly when MC made a mistake in the kitchen. They laugh about it for y e a r s

MC: I can’t date someone who keeps a lamb as a pet, that’s so weird Sebas, brushing Lotte in front of MC: MC: MC: Okay, I will make an exception because she looks very polite

MC and Sebas, fully aware of the fame some of the men will reach in modern times: We will watch your career with great interest.  (I s2g that’s like half of Sebas’ rt right there I’m crying)

Sebas rt with Lotte be like that 500 dollar Mareep meme: “sometimes a family can be just a boy, his gf, and their 500 dollar two foot tall Lotte”

[addictedtostorytelling]

According to the 3rd sneak peak on the youtube channel, we get more info on Brass! Apparently he is going blind (?) or something of that sort. And there’s a Catherine name drop!! Though I don’t think she’ll be in the show. Thoughts?

hi, @jjnora!

so according to brass, he is experiencing "fuch's corneal disease," also known as fuch's corneal dystrophy, a progressive condition in which fluid builds up in the cornea of the eye, causing it to swell and thicken, leading to discomfort and cloudy vision.

fuch's dystrophy typically does not result in total blindness, and, contrary to what brass insinuates in the sneak peek, can be treated, with medication in its earlier stages and corneal transplant surgery in its later stages. after transplantation, patients normally experience a full reversal of symptoms.

though it's hard to say just by looking, it appears that brass's condition is fairly advanced. however, whether or not he's on the transplant list or if he's even eligible for a transplant at all, we don't yet know.

since this new reboot adventure kicks off with brass being attacked in his own home—on behalf of an old foe called "lucky”—i'd say it's probably a safe bet that his impaired vision will serve as a wrinkle in the case, as he likely won't be able to provide much in the way of “eyewitness testimony” concerning his attacker.

someone else who watched the later seasons of the show more closely than i did may have a better memory than i do on this one, but i honestly don't recall brass ever interacting with a criminal called lucky at any point during the original run of the show, much less having a serious adversarial dynamic with such a person, which may indicate that lucky is either someone from his new jersey days or else someone whom he has encountered since leaving the lvpd (perhaps when he was still working security for catherine back in 2015).

in any case, this peek confirms that he is indeed the one who calls sara in to help on the case and also suggests that he is probably the one who (somehow) gets her working with the lvpd crime lab again as a consultant.

other things we learn about brass from this clip include:

he does seemingly talk regularly with sara (and perhaps grissom?), though he hasn't mentioned his condition to her/them prior to this point.

he has an african grey parrot named elvis, whom he lovingly describes as a “little bastard.”

he doesn't seem to have adequate help/care and relies on his housekeeper to look after him.

he's still just as wry as ever.

he may or may not also be staying in catherine's hotel, a la the grissoms, following his attack.

he is also seemingly in contact with catherine, as he knows what's going on in her life.

as for catherine, the sneak peek tells us just enough to confirm that she is indeed responsible for putting the grissoms (and possibly also brass) up in her casino hotel; however, she is herself not present in vegas, as she is apparently either visiting or living in ireland to be near her grandchild.

how she and lindsey came to leave the lvpd crime lab, when they did so, and under what circumstances, we don't know. why they ended up in ireland, we also don't know. maybe lindsey partnered with or married someone who is from there or else is there for work.

it seems like a good guess that catherine probably retired in order to spend more time with her family (possibly around the time that lindsey got pregnant or had the baby), but there also could be more to the story that we don't yet know.

whether or not marg will appear in the reboot, we can't say for certain.

on the one hand, marg did recently like one of @fandomismymiddlename's tweets about her potentially appearing in the reboot, which could indicate that she has either already filmed a guest spot or at least has some interest in maybe doing so in the future, should the show get renewed for a second season.

on the other hand, she's had one show cancelled and then been picked up for another show on another network all during the time when csi: vegas has so far been filming, so i doubt she's had a lot of opportunity (or even been contractually at liberty) to get in any guest spots.

while it's technically possible that marg could have filmed an appearance on the reboot sometime back in may or june (during the brief window when she was otherwise unemployed), i have to believe that, had she done so, the cbs hype team would be playing up her return in the same way that they are billy, jorja, and paul's, as, after all, hers is a big enough name and catherine is a beloved enough character that giving fans a heads-up that she'd be back would make for good publicity for the new show.

the only reason i can see them keeping a potential return from her on the dl is if that return happened later in the season and was meant to be a surprise.

otherwise, i kinda think we'd have heard about it by now, you know?

in any case, the reboot writers sending catherine all the way to dublin seems like a good indication that they want her “out of sight and out of mind" for the time being, so we can take that for what we will.

as for other thoughts about the sneak peek:

as jorja has talked about in some of her recent interviews, sara seems to initially be under the impression that her trip to vegas will be a short one—72 hours or less. though she does know that brass has been attacked, she seems not to be aware prior to when she arrives that he is losing his vision. she also appears surprised (and even affronted) when he asks her to consult on the case. that so, one has to wonder: when she first responds to his call, what is it that she thinks she's coming back to las vegas to do? does she seriously believe that all she's there for is to move him out of his house and into catherine's hotel? but if she doesn't know about his sight, then why would she think he needs the help? the fact that she makes the drive from san diego to sin city in such quick time suggests a sense of urgency on her part, so is there perhaps more to her coming than we already know about? what could brass possibly say to her that would make her feel like she needs to get to him fast but also has her convinced that once she reaches him, he'll only need her for a couple of days at most?

brass's "at least i got sara sidle back to vegas" comment plus the fact that she had previously been unaware of his fuch's dystrophy suggests that sara has not been to vegas in a long time—perhaps not since the events of "immortality." if not, then the fact that she has not would imply that she must have finished up all of her business in vegas (leaving her job as lab director, selling her house and car, tying up all the loose ends on her old cases, etc.) remotely.

when brass asks sara what she's been up to recently, she doesn't give an answer. we know she has grissom collecting jellyfish in panama, but we still don't have a full idea of what their life over the last six years has consisted of. for example, why is she coming to vegas from san diego? has that city maybe become a "home base" for her and grissom, or is that just where they happened to be when sara received brass's call? were they maybe there seeing nick? beyond the issue of location, we also don't know how much contact they've kept up with their work family. sara insinuates that she and brass talk regularly and that she has at least recently been in touch with catherine (enough to have been put up at the hotel), but how often have she and grissom seen their old friends in person since 2015? have they done so at all? did they invite any of them to their (second) wedding? with brass, it seems unlikely that sara has physically been in the same place as him for at least a couple of years, given that his condition comes as a surprise to her. but what about with everyone else?

another general question about the csiverse: is this fictional universe one that is going to acknowledge the covid-19 pandemic, or is this story going to be set in an alternate universe where the pandemic never happened? so far, no one on the show seems to be wearing masks, so my guess is that the latter option is the case. we'll see, though.

sara seems very surprised/affronted when brass asks her to look into his case. though we know from interviews that she has kept up her accreditation enough to at least still be certified as a criminalist, to me, her reaction indicates far-removal from her old csi life—i.e., that she has not been involved with anything having to do with the profession recently.

anyway, those are my takes, for what they're worth.

thanks for the question! please feel welcome to send another any time.

[northcarolinanative]

𝐍𝐨𝐭 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐒𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐖𝐚𝐲

Pairing: JJ Maybank x Reader 

A/N: Okay, I tried a songfic, I am totally not sure if I did this right or not. This is based on “Not in the Same Way” by 5sos (love putting my two favs together haha). Give it a listen while you read :) Anyway, its kinda a long one, kinda angsty, kinda fluffy? I have one more request to work on, then I’m free to write more so please send in more, I wanna know what yall are thinking!! Requests are open!!  Enjoy! There’s some cursing, but other than that I don't think there are any other warnings… 

Drink all night, never sleep You say go, I won't leave I love you, you love me

A typical Friday night on the cut. The other pogues and I have decided that it was about time we let loose. So we loaded two kegs into the back of John B’s van. Pope, Kie, and I in the back joking around while John B and JJ were in the front fighting over the radio station. I stopped when I saw the way the sun was falling through JJ’s hair and making his smile brighter. We weren’t together or anything. We were messing around, no strings attached. At least that’s how it started. We hadn’t told the pogues, but they weren’t stupid. I feel sure they had put two and two together, but just did not mention it to us that they knew not wanting to make things awkward. 

“Y/N, tell John B that we are not listening to this shit!” JJ asked, turning to look at you behind John B’s seat. I snapped out of my thoughts. 

I threw my hands up surrendering. “Hey, I’m not getting involved this time. Last time we had to listen to the news. Remember that.” I giggled looking at Pope as he hid his face. 

“Yea thanks for that Pope” Kie laughed. 

Before the two could settle their bickering we had arrived at the boneyard. It had only been a couple of hours and I was already way too many drinks in, thanks to Pope and Kie challenging me to chugging contests. “ I should really learn my limit by now” I giggle, sitting beside a touron boy and some others that were listening to Kie talk about the problem with microplastics. “You know your cup is plastic” I giggle at her, causing her to throw her empty red solo cup at me. 

“Hey now” The touron boy beside me smiled. “She’s too pretty to be throwing things at now.” I felt a blush creep up my face as I looked down and pushed my hair behind my ear. I met his eyes and said a quiet thank you. 

“Yea. I’m leaving now” I heard someone huff before turning to see JJ walking quickly down the beach. After a quick confused exchange of looks with Kie, I quickly get up to leave, following the boy down the beach. I jog to try and catch up with his quickening pace. Where had he even been at, I did not see him around? My head started to spin with worry. Maybe a kook said something to him? 

I reached out and grabbed his wrist. “JJ!” I pulled him back. He was close, really close. “What the hell was that? Did some kook piss you off?” 

I huffed and looked out toward the ocean. “No, it was actually a pogue Y/N.” His words were cold and he stared at you. 

“What?” I looked up at him. “Who would mess with you from the cut?” He just laughed and looked at me. 

“You Y/n” 

“Me?” I huffed backing up “What did I do?”

“That tourist. He was looking you up and down like a piece of meat. Eyeing you up and you were eating it up.” He stepped back. “You know what Y/N. Go have fun with him. I don’t know why I’m stopping you anyway.” 

“JJ, no!” I said pulling him back to me. I turned to look back toward the boneyard. “I don’t want to go anywhere, JJ. I was not flirting with him, I honestly did not notice till he said something!” I looked at him and he was still angry. I could see it in his expression. 

“No seriously Y/N. Go, have a good time.” He spoke with confidence but stayed in his spot, not moving. 

“JJ I’m not going anywhere. Ok?” I sighed. “You mean to tell me that if I hadn’t caught your eye tonight you would not have gone home with some touron girl tonight?” I asked. Our reputations precede both of us when it comes to our encounters with the island’s visitors. 

“No Y/N” My name fell from his lips with spite. “I would not have” 

“What’s all this about? I thought you said” I held up air quotes emphasizing what he had told me a few weeks back, “No. strings. Attached.” He had made our agreement crystal clear from the beginning. 

“Well shit happens Y/N” He sighed and walked closer to me. His hand reached up to touch my face, brushing the stray pieces of hair away. “Because I think I’m in love with you.” He breathed out like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders. 

My face began to blush as I looked him in the eye. “I think I am in love with you too.” 

We fuck, then we fight, then you call me a psycho I walk out the door, but you won't let me let go

It was the night after the party, I hadn’t slept very well. My mind reeling with thoughts of the pogues and their thoughts on the different dynamic of JJ and I or if we would even tell them anytime soon it was so new. I had headed back to the Chateau after our moment on the beach. JJ told me he was going to tell our friends that we were leaving. “Go back to the house. I’ll be there shortly.” JJ told me with a grin and a slight tap on my butt. 

So that’s what I did. I had no idea what he was telling the others but I went back to the house and laid down on the spare bedroom bed. I waited for JJ to get back, taking him an abnormally. He came in behind John B in what seemed to be a heated argument. “Dude I’m going to bed. We’ll talk about this in the morning.” He said before shutting the door. 

JJ looked over my body. I had changed into his T-shirt while waiting for him, as my party clothes were uncomfortable. “Damn. Do you look good in my clothes” He eyed me up and down licking his lips. He crawled over me connecting our lips together in a heated kiss. 

--

I woke up to the loud sound of pans banging in the kitchen and the sound of Kiara laughing with John B. I looked up at JJ who had heard the pans banging around in the kitchen. I looked at him and had no idea what to do. “Good morning” JJ looked down at you. You noticed the red and pink marks that littered his jawline and chest, slowly tracing the marks from the night before. 

“Good morning,” I say back with a smile on my face. The night had been filled with ‘I love you’s and more promises from the moment that you two shared on the beach. “We seem to be in a sticky situation” I giggle motioning towards the door. 

“I’ll leave first.” He said. It hurt a little that he did not want to leave together. He began to sit up. I put my hand on his chest to stop him. 

“JJ. Wait.” I sat up pulling the blanket up around me suddenly insecure in my own skin. “What is this? Last night it was different, right? It wasn’t just me? I mean –” JJ cut me off by kissing me, one hand cupping my face the other resting on my thigh. 

“You’re my girl now, Y/N” He smiled pulling away. “Whether you like it or not.” He said, making me smile. He got up, the sun falling through the window open onto his body. He pulled on a pair of shorts. “You might wanna get dressed” He picked up my clothes off the ground and laid them in front of me  with a smile. I started getting dressed and waited for JJ to slip out of the doorway to stand up and finish getting dressed. I understood to an extent, that the pogues would need some easing into this idea of you and JJ being more romantically involved. 

I walked toward the bedroom door slowly opening it as I heard Kie’s voice, a harsh tone behind it. “JJ you pulled a gun on Topper last night. Pointed it at his head” She said 

“I was trying to protect John B!” He fought back. “He would have drowned you?” He retorted. I  saw him looking at John B once you finally stepped out of the room. The other pogues wore a confused look as they saw me come from the same bedroom as JJ. 

“JJ?” I spoke softly. He turned around his eyes large. “You did what last night?” My tone is getting increasingly louder. 

“I defended John B. There was a fight that broke out and he was drowning him Y/N” He spoke moving closer to me. 

“Yes! By pulling a gun on him dude!” Pope spoke up. 

“You pulled a gun on someone and came back here, and did that?” I spoke with tears in my eyes motioning toward the door behind me. 

“Y/N. That has nothing to do with–”

“No JJ. Are you psycho? What the hell?” I move past him pushing against him to walk out to the back door, toward the water. 

JJ looked at the others and their confused states. He finally started toward me. “Y/N. Wait. Please.” He caught up to me as I started my way down the back steps. “Baby. Please don’t go.” I melted when he called me baby. I turned around looking at him. 

“I didn’t mean to snap like that. But you didn’t tell me? You came back and we had sex JJ after you put a gun to someone’s head? Without even mentioning it?” 

“I know! I know! I know it was stupid alright I know.” He looked at the ground. “It was just I was able to stop Topper ya know? I was able to stop him from hurting John B. I just wanted to know that John B was gonna be safe.” 

I looked down at his shaking hands, and he was biting on his lower lip. “Hey, I know you always just want to protect us. I just wish you would have told me all this before I heard that you pulled a gun and shot it into the air” 

“That was stupid. I know it was stupid Y/N” I reached up and grabbed his hands before leaning against his chest to be close to him, trying to comfort him. “I just wanted to show them that they are not better than us like they act. They come over here and drink our beer, smoke our weed, and think it is cool to live the poor pogue life, then spit us any other chance they get. I wanted to show them that we can’t be pushed around”

I moved my hands to wrap him in a hug. “Y/N, I am so sick of being pushed around” 

I pulled him closer. “I know J.” 

I don't ever wanna lie to you But I can't say no to you

We sat on the beach, both escaping our respective life issues. The stars had started to peek out. Over the past few weeks of our newly changed relationship, JJ let me in. He was hurting a lot recently. Things had gotten even worse at home for him; it was another bad night. 

“I don’t want to lie to you Y/N” JJ spoke, breaking the silence. “I’m scared,” he finally said. I moved closer wrapping my arm around his and leaning my head on his shoulder. 

“What do you mean, J?” 

“Love.” He said looking out at the ocean. “I know I love you, but love, it’s just really messed up.” 

I could see where he was coming from, the drugs running through his system probably didn’t help his quickly spiraling thoughts. 

“It isn’t easy to be vulnerable” I move to rest my head against his shoulder, feeling his fall on top of mine. “But that is what love is, trust the other person you love.”

“I love you, I really do, but what happens if one day you decide you don’t want me, you find someone better.” My heart broke for him as he kept speaking. 

I quickly turn and put both my hands around his face. “JJ, don’t say that. I do not think I will ever find someone who is as kind, loving, and respectful as you. You treat me like a princess. You know how to have fun and you literally can make any situation a good one, just by being you.” I quickly reach up and softly kiss him. His hands finding their way to my hips. I pull away “Plus you're great in bed” I joked, causing him to crack a smile “How could I EVER say no to that great of a man?”

[rpbetter]

Raven used to be my friend but I had to cut ties recently due to feeling like walking on eggshells everytime we spoke and they never apologized to me for when I brought up something that they did upset me. I really miss them but I don't want to deal with the if it's not about me I don't care attitude.

Pt 2 of Ravens old friend. They reblogged anti fandom posts on their resource blog and I happened to be in that fandom and it hurt. A resource blog shouldn't be doing that.

Hey, Anon! I wanted to post this before I released one of my drafts, as that draft happens to be something I do not want you to misconstrue being about you. Thought about it after the fact and honestly, felt a bit ill over potentially making you think any such thing! The post is about how pushy people can be about what they like (usually as regards fandom) that you don't, and how that can be a contributing factor toward people saying hateful things about fandom topics. It was the quickest of the finished drafts sitting around to edit, so it was being queued, that's all! I do not think you were being pushy about your likes to "deserve" this, and frankly, even if you had? One's meme/resource/help blog is not the venue for shitting on your friends.

Okay, just wanted to clarify, everyone is stressed and feeling judged enough, I don't want to inadvertently contribute to that with any drafted posts!

I'm really sorry this happened, Anon. I don't mean that in a passing, flippant way that looks good on my blog. Not that I mean anything that way lol but I frequently have had "friends" in the past who felt like it was totally fine to reblog, even make original posts, like what you're talking about. Anti-fandom, anti my part of the fandom, my muses, my takes, and so on. Really hurtful things when we'd spoken in DMs about how upsetting it was, then they go and throw full support behind it in front of me.

It would be irritating with a grain of betrayal if it was a friend of a shorter time, or a mutual one doesn't really interact with OOC, but with a closer or longtime friend, it's actively hurtful. It feels like they looked you right in the face, said they do not give a single shit about either what is important to you or sparing your feelings, and went on. Yeah, it's just fiction, but the way we treat each other over fiction is real.

Given the behaviors displayed openly, it's not a shock you received no apology. Whether you got an apology or not, though, good on you for trying to bring it up to them! It's hard to do that with friends, even ones you're more certain won't blow up at you for it. I think if we could all be a little more (calmly, nicely, reasonably) open with each other like this, we could avoid problems that result from things festering and piling up, but it's hard to take that step...and I'm sorry this was your reward for it.

Just as blogs that are not one's RP or personal blogs shouldn't be openly judging and hating fandoms like that, friends shouldn't leave you feeling like you're walking on eggshells.

And, I'm going to say something unpopular here - sometimes, we all are capable of doing that to people we care about. Bad moments in lives combine, there are misunderstandings, sensitive topics, and things we can't entirely control otherwise. I don't like this idea tumblr has that anything other than a perfect, sweet, forever-cheery relationship is the actual height of abuse, so I want to be clear on that because it's just trivializing and blinding people to the possibility of toxic and abusive interactions. When you think "toxic" means "they don't like x, I love x, we don't talk about it," you're not aware of legitimate signs like being too worried to be yourself around them.

It's when this is the typical, established behavior that it's a problem. It's when there's never any meaningful acknowledgment, apology, or attempt at changing that it's a problem. If you constantly feel like you have to be worried about what a friend is going to say or do, it's not a friendship you need to be in, and I'm glad you recognized that and got out of it!

But there's also the idea that this is easy because it's the right and logical choice. It is not, and it's often made even harder because admitting to other friends that you miss the good times with the former one is all but impossible. They're often only reacting out of concern for you, the fear that if you miss this person they watched hurt you, you'll go back to that friendship, but it effectively shuts down a more healthy way of dealing with your feelings by sharing them with better friends who could support you.

So, Anon, it's also fully alright and normal to miss Raven! They were a longtime friend, and the thing about these kinds of friendships, these kinds of relationships in general, is that we seem to fail to realize that if things were straight awful from day one, we'd not have been friends. Of course, there are memories! Of course, you have the impulse to send them a link or that meme you know is their humor! It doesn't stop for a long time, either. That doesn't mean you're fucked up for it, it's something to be ashamed of, or that you're going to drop your better judgment and go send Raven a message immediately and rekindle that friendship. It's okay!

This right here: "I don't want to deal with the if it's not about me I don't care attitude." This is the place you should be in, and I congratulate you on being there because it takes a lot of shit heaped on someone by a friend to get there. Just keep remembering the good things you experienced with them, but always with this in mind, that their end of the friendship appears to have been predicated upon what they were getting out of it only.

Case in point, like everything they displayed to the whole damn RPC that encountered them these last few months, their personal interest and viewpoint was of greater importance to them with that anti-fandom post than a friend was.

I will say, it can be a delicate thing having this blog. I have opinions and takes that most of my friends share, what's important to me tends to run in the same lines as what is important to them, that's the basis of a lot of our friendship. We still disagree! We still have different interests, fandoms, favorite characters, songs, and experiences. Sometimes, I have to address a problem that they could misconstrue, in a totally normal and reasonable way, because while they're not doing whatever in a bad way, others are. I've made a point, more than once, to contact them and talk about it a little preemptively, and that's not just to keep up friendships, it also allows for extra insight from them and better phrasing from me so that other people I don't know won't take it the wrong way either.

Yes, I have some immutable, incredibly hard lines lol I think we all know what most of them are now, but expressing my purely personal opinion on something like fandom is not more important on this blog than anything else. I may genuinely feel like there is diseased connective tissue of disappointing behavior stemming from an origin point in a popular fandom, I'm not going to go off about it on this blog. It's inappropriate as hell, going to make people feel isolated and targeted whether they're my friends or not. Being passionately displeased about that does not have place here, and that's the kind of thing you have to consider, reconsider, force yourself to shut up about when you've got a blog that isn't for RP or a personal, you know?

I don't think everyone is cut out for doing that, and no one is cut out for doing it without ever making a mistake in judgment. Some people really should simply realize that there is nothing wrong with not being in the place in their lives or mental health to put that much effort into being fair or being quiet and concentrating only on memes. If you're one of those people, random reader? I'm serious, it's okay if you can't do it! It's not shameful, I'm also a deeply flawed human being, the quietest, politest, helpful meme blog out there is also run by a flawed human, they're just at a different place with themselves than you are. And. That's. Okay. Just don't hurt other people (and yourself, ultimately) by forcing it, please.

I suppose, knowing that it wasn't important enough to chill and reevaluate for the sake of a friend is some consolation lol what one won't do for friends definitely won't be done for random muns deemed problematic. So, maybe that'll make some other people out there feel a little better, and I thank you for sharing...as much as I wish you had nothing of this experience to share. I know it's an unpleasant one to have had, and I hope you have much better friends!

I promise you that I'll never post anything here that is viciously against any particular fandom or any such thing, and that if you feel like I've been unfair about anything at all, I welcome polite messages as a way of discussing it so we can all be clear and/or learn from each other. I know, I openly admit, it's kind of a draw of the blog, that I have a...um, tone of salt about things lol and sometimes, I don't phrase things the way they deserved. So, it's always okay to drop in for clarification or counterpoint, so long as it isn't being done with a shitty attitude that incites hostilities. Let's do have a legitimate conversation about it instead of hurt feelings!

Thanks again, Anon!

[hearthfeuillemort]

The Twelve Days of Yule! - Moon Night

Season’s greetings! Today I continue with the third post in my series on how I'll be observing each of the twelve days of Yule for the first time this year!  My hope is that my research and suggestions will assist and inspire to you try to observe all twelve days: either by yourselves, with your groups/covens, or with your families.  It would make me so happy if you’d send me an Ask and share some of your personal traditions and customs for celebrating Yule, so please feel free!

Yule, in the ancient heathen tradition, is a twelve-day winter festival beginning at sundown on the night of the winter solstice and ending on the day that we’ve come to think of as New Year’s Day.  Remember: lots of us have obligations or something else going on in our lives that might prevent us from observing all twelve days, and that’s totally okay!

Most of our modern Yule (and Christmas!) customs actually come to us from the ancient Germanic and Scandinavian heathen beliefs and practices, and Moon Night is certainly no exception. Though this is the third post in my series, I feel now is a really appropriate time to mention that very little information about these ancient heathens’ actual spiritual rituals and practices has survived to the modern age.  

After Viking Age peoples first encountered and clashed with early European Christian cultures, Christianity became the dominant (emphasis on “dominant”) belief system in early Germanic and Scandinavian culture and any and all practice or mention of the previous heathen faith was brutally suppressed. All of the information that we currently have about their mythology, cosmology, and religious beliefs has been through Christian historians and poets. They weren’t about to tell us how the heathens actually did their thing - if in fact they even knew - and as a result, today’s heathens are basically trying to piece together their beliefs and practices from what little information remains.

It goes without saying that I couldn’t find much information about how this night was traditionally observed, but I'm undaunted. This can actually give me a lot of creative freedom in how I want to make observances of the night. I already make observances of the moon and its phases during each month of the year, now I have an excuse to give the moon its own festival day!

So, here’s what I did learn: Máni’s realm of influence was represented both by the darkness of the night and by the light that the moon shines for hunters in the darkness. During this particular time of the year when the night was at its longest and crops could not be grown, the ability to hunt animals was vital to Viking Age heathens as a way to keep their families fed during the winter.  Both the moon and sun were regarded as gifts from the deities to assist humans in keeping track of the passage of time. It’s no surprise, then, that Máni would be a particular subject of veneration during a winter celebration.

Unlike the first and second nights, it seems the third night of Yule doesn’t have its own traditional name, or at least not one that survived.  I'm choosing to refer to it as "Moon Night", though if one were to refer to it as Máni’s Night that would be just as appropriate. If you’ve been following along with my posts, you may have started to notice a pattern: each of the twelve nights of Yule honors a different deity. Mother Night is set aside for veneration of the disir (Norse pantheon female deities). The second night, or Wild Hunt, is for honoring Odin as well as spirits and other supernatural entities.

The third night of Yule was traditionally set aside for honoring and making sacrifices to the old Norse god Máni, the god who was the personification of the moon or was said to reside inside it (the possible origins of the “man in the moon” belief!). The name of the god and the word for the celestial body in Old Norse were one and the same. 

Another interesting thing is that a couple of sources that I've found have suggested that this is the appropriate night to practice the famous Yule Log customs (which I’ll get into here in a bit), but this contradicted pretty much everything else I've ever read about the Yule Log. I'd previously read that the Yule Log should be lit on the first night of Yule (Mother Night) and allowed to burn for all twelve nights of the festival.  But there's a good reason that I didn’t go into much detail about the Yule Log in the first post of this series, and it has to do with some of the lore that surrounds it that isn't practical for me (and isn't practical for most people).

Traditionally, the Yule Log was enormous: it was more like a very large section of a tree!  After all, it would have to be big enough to last for all twelve nights! Usually, it was dragged from outdoors into the hearth - which back then was typically a huge dirt pit in the center of the home, surrounded by large stones - and was to be lit only by a piece of the previous year’s Yule Log which was saved specifically for this purpose.  Custom dictated that this log could only be either harvested from one’s own property or received as a gift from someone else, never purchased.  The log was then dressed with holly, mistletoe, and other seasonal greenery then doused with ale or cider before being lit by the aforementioned piece of last year’s Yule Log. The very best and most holy wood for the Yule Log was ash, as this tree was extremely sacred to Viking Age heathens. 

Once lit, it was common practice to leap over the burning Yule Log for purification and to invite luck for the coming year, to raise toasts over the log, and to swear oaths upon the log. In Viking Age culture, one’s oaths were considered unbreakable - tantamount to being legally binding in those days - and once an oath exited one’s mouth it was considered one of the greatest dishonors not to keep it. To do so would bring great shame to that person. Fun fact: this oath-swearing tradition is thought to be the origin of today’s New Years’ Resolutions!

Knowing what I know of this custom, there's no way I can work this quintessential part of Yule into my lifestyle. I live in an apartment building in the middle of a major city. I don't even have a fireplace, and most of us can’t get our log on in the way the old heathens did: few if any of us have huge, central hearths in our homes, nor large properties where we can just go around cutting down ash trees!  I couldn’t imagine having a raging fire burning in my home for 12 straight days, either.

It is for this reason that I suggest making Moon Night your night for observing the Yule Log tradition, though perhaps on a smaller scale.  If you don’t have a fireplace, consider making a “yule cone” - this is a neat little project that I stumbled across some time ago.  Take a found pine cone; inside each space place a small roll of paper upon which is written a wish or oath for the coming year.  You can turn this “yule cone” into a tree ornament if you like. Then when Moon Night arrives, find a safe place outside where you can burn the cone.  The smoke will carry your oaths to the sky, and hopefully, your deities will hear you!

If you have a fireplace in your home, then you get to go out to the woods and find yourself a sensible-sized log to serve as your Yule Log.  Be sure to collect winter greenery to dress it with, and to dress the log with ale, mead, or the consecrated beverage of your choice before you light it.  If you choose to then make oaths for the coming year over your Yule Log, keep in mind the seriousness with which our heathen forebears took oaths! Do not make an oath that you cannot or will not keep, or it will bring great shame upon you in the eyes of the deities!

Speaking of deities: I understand that not all of us make veneration of deities a part of our spiritual practice. If you choose not to worship deities or other supernatural entities but instead prefer only to honor the spirit of the season, that is still perfectly okay! In my opinion, there is absolutely no wrong way to observe Yule.  However, if you do choose to honor deity in your practice, Moon Night is an excellent time to make offerings to whichever lunar deity you have the closest relationship with.  

If not, why not have a Moon Night celebration under the night sky?  Instead of a Yule Log, perhaps an outdoor bonfire would suit your needs?  Many of us are already familiar with Moon Cakes as a treat, and tonight would be a perfect time to serve them.  Try to go for a general lunar theme with your livery and decorations. Get creative with your Moon Night celebrations, and please feel free to send me an Ask to share with me any ideas that you come up with for observing the third night of Yule.

Glad yuletide, and hail!

[todayisafridaynight]

Y5's plot is a little messy from there being five protagonists, but I feel things converged pretty well regardless of that. Even though I wish they had more time to interact with each other aaaaaa. But I did start to get a bit confused around the end of Shinada's part because I was trying to keep track of who was actually important to stuff overall. And also baseball. Trying to understand all this terminology what's going on I don't have time to learn the plot anymore, game 🙄

Gameplay? God. The moment I was starting to get used to Saejima finally I had him snatched away from me by the story. So it felt like I was relearning his moveset every time afterwards 🫠 Akiyama is so easy to fight as, but Shinada was giving me slightly similar problems to Saejima. The enemy rate encounter in the old games was insane and they should go to jail for making the decision to do that tbh. I got into nearly 200 street fights at the start of the game. And kept running into fights right after I finished one. Directly. After. I found myself not doing a lot of side stuff. I think part of it was from trying to get to certain parts I really wanted to see, and part of it was because of who knows what really... The only character's side story I did was Saejima's, and I did almost all of their substories, tho. Besides Haruka's. I can see how someone who wants to do everything would get instantly burnt out. I just didn't

Story? Why the F U CK didn't they bring up Kiryu's thoughts and feelings on Majima after he hauled ass back to Tokyo to find answers. That was the whole initial reason he was there, and the writers were like "nah. Let's not touch that with a ten foot pole but here's Kiryu threatening to end that twink Baba." He didn't even directly react to knowing he's still alive. Like, that's one of the most glaring problems I have with it. It feels like someone ignoring an elephant stomping in the room. However I have to admit I didn't care for the out of left field relationship drama Majima had in the past. It was like a huge brick was dropped on me and then am anvil

Five catches some weird heat from people who want to pretend the whole thing never happened, and those that gave up on it super easily. To each their own of course. I just don't think it's nearly that bad, personally. Four is definitely my least favorite of the bunch. Next to six

my thoughts below the cut cause this post's already long </3

unfortunately for the rest of this website, shinada's baseball scandal was easy for me to follow on account of me being a baseball lover myself. BUT yeah i can totally see how the typical player will get lost on things like 'stealing signs' and either might take too much time googling terms and rules to pay too much attention to the plot, or not bothering to do that and just proceeding with the story without fully understanding what's happening

on that note though like i said in the last post, shinada's the strongest point about this game for me: him and his co-stars are just such fun characters, and my favorite thing about shinada is that his play style reflects his i'm-just-a-guy-fghting-for-his-life character. it's incredibly rough, unrefined, and sluggish- nothing you'd expect from a regular fighter like maybe kiryu or akiyama. from purely a gameplay standpoint though i get how it could be irritating when you're shifting from characters you're familiar with who move relatively similar to. Shinada. (affectionately). especially if you weren't using weapons beforehand and now you're trying to become accustomed to them if you don't want to raw dog his gameplay

speaking of akiyama though, while i did like how he and haruka get to team up (i also think the protags shouldve had more time to hang out, if not at least invite each other to karaoke </3) his part felt so short. t'was foreshadowing for being sidelined in y6, but yk even for the three seconds we get to play with him, and despite the minor nerf done to him, i love him too much to be too upset. plus that air-combo shit's Wack

all things majima related in Y5 were weird, but park was especially. Off. for me. as an antagonist, she's great- hell, even NOT as an antagonist she's great. but it's just a weird feeling how the game wants us to sympathize with her and ignore how she's been threatening kiryu and haruka this entire time and treat her like a martyr. i dont think park's the worst charcter and most evil character ever, but that's prob a post in of itself honestly. what does make me feel weird though is her and majima's relationship- i guess it's just weird hearing about it after y0 though, but i'm not forgetting this game was made way before y0 was even conceptualized. it sucks that we don't get to know about majima's reaction to her death though, and honestly i was hoping they would get to reunite at haruka's concert: he said he wouldn't see her until he was dead, and according to every news outlet at the time he sure was dead, if you catch my cold.

back to majima though, it DOES suck how we don't get to see how kiryu reacts to majima not actually being dead. it's as you said, that's the reason why he even came back in the first place, and now that he's fine we're just going to have to assume how he felt

for me, five was alright. yakuza game plots are hardly anything to write home about (unless it's 7 tbh i love 7 sorry not sorry), so i'm not overly pressed about the plot being the way it is. besides, i cant be mad about the plot when part of the plot is 'daigo's on thirteen doses of copium so he runs away and decides to give 20 mil yen to his old classmate cause Dreams'.

the only game plot that actually does deserve a 'that's so stupid' comment from me is Y4's plot 🥴

[tanksforasking]

YOU'RE OUT HERE MAKING MY *LIFE.* Maybe something where tony gets hit during a fight and thinks he's fine but he's actually either concussed or bleeding internally, and after the battle he's all loopy and they (whoever you like lol i'm not picky on this part) think it's adrenaline, then he's cranky and they think it's exhaustion, then he's collapsing and they're like "oh fuck" (PS if you don't like this i can try again!)

OOOIIIIIEEE IT’S PAST 2 AM AND I HAVE WORK TOMORROW.  I AM AN IDIOT.  Anyhoo, this one is for you and that adorable prompt @taylortut!  Idk if this is exactly what you wanted, but I gave it my best shot!  (Also plz tell me if I missed any grammar stuff or if something just straight up doesn’t make sense cause my eyes are too tired to catch everything rn.  Also Also this will be cross-posted to AO3 and FFN).  Enjoy!  

                                               Word Count: 1391

Tony certainly was by no means unfamiliar with crash-landings.  It could be said that they had become somewhat of an occupational hazard for him.  But, unlike most things he seemed to encounter in his line of work, crashes always seemed a lot scarier then they actually were.  Once the initial shock wore off, he could usually just pick himself up, dust himself off, and get right back into the fight.  Rarely was one of his unfortunate meetings with the pavement or the side of a building something that actually caused any severe ramifications.  

Key word being rarely.  

It had been a typical downtown scuffle for the Avengers.  Another lunatic that happened to get access to weapons way beyond their pay grade and used them to wreak absolute havoc on the basis of some half-baked ideology and a superiority complex.  By all means, it should’ve been an easy takedown.  

And it almost was.  

Unfortunately, said psycho happened to pack one Hell of a punch, and just before Sam came in for the final, aerial takedown, the jerk managed to land one last, lucky hit...  

Right to the back of Tony’s head.  

The next few moments seemed to defy time itself.  The moment the criminal’s armored fist made contact with the back of his helmet, Tony felt a brief sensation of exploding pain travel across his skull, followed by total, encompassing darkness.  When he did come to again, it was just in time to see a cement wall inches away from his face, the distance between he and it closing rapidly.  The pain from the impact could barely be distinguished from the lingering ache of the initial strike, the cries of his worried teammates through the coms only aggravating his condition.  

Rhodey’s voice was the first he could truly register throughout the cacophony.  “Tony, you still with us, man?”  

Tony grunted, shifting under the light rubble that now covered him.  Despite the natural aching in his head that would come after such a blow, he couldn’t detect any major bodily damage.  Unfortunately, after several tries, he was unable to activate FRIDAY to confirm his theory, the AI system most likely having been damaged in the crash.  It was something he made a mental note to check on later.  

“Yeah, Rhodes, I’m here.  Did Sam take down crazy?” he finally answered, steeling himself to get back up and fight if needed.  

The sigh of relief on the other end was nearly tangible.  “You have us worried for a moment there, Tones,” he chuckled, “and yeah.  Sam’s got him detained and DODC’s already on their way to clean out his warehouse.  We’re all done here.  How are you?”  

Tony mentally scanned himself again.  Admittedly, it was difficult to tell if anything was out of place with the throbbing of his head overwhelming almost every other sensation, but nothing seemed to be horrendously wrong, so he diagnosed himself as fine and began to dust the rubble off.  “All good, just gotta dig myself out a bit.”  In the distance, Tony could hear sirens, confirming for him that first responders were almost on the scene and their job was done.  

Rhodey’s voice crackled through the coms again.  “We sent your Spider-kid your way just a moment ago.  You should have some help getting you out of there pretty soon.”

Tony sighed, offered a quick thanks and surveyed his surroundings once more.  The dust was clearing, and it seemed like it would be fairly easy to get out on his own.  Still, with the lingering dizziness that wasn’t seeming to lighten up with time, he wasn’t going to turn away the extra help.  Who were they sending again to him again?  Was it Sam?  

Before he could recall, his question was answered by the overly-cheerful shouts of Peter Parker as he approached.  

“Hey, Mr. Stark!”  Peter’s voice seemed to reverberate through Tony’s brain, leaving his ears ringing.  Or had they been ringing before?  He honestly couldn’t remember.  “Ya good down there, sir?  Mr. Rhodes sent me to come get you outta here!”  Peter called out again as Tony winced, struggling to comprehend exactly what the kid was saying through the pressure in his skull.  God his head was pounding.  Was it normal for the pain to last this long?  He felt like it wasn’t.  

“Hey kid…” he mustered up the strength to speak, but even so, his words came out slightly slurred. “Couldja maybe use your inside voice?  My head’s still a bit on the tender side right now.”

“Oh, yeah!  Right!” the younger of the two replied in a sort of loud whisper.  “Sorry!  I uh… think I just gotta move this one last block and then you’ll be good to go!”  

“Thanks kid...” Tony grunted before letting his eyes fall closed, the inky blackness being the only measure of relief from the pain he could find.  

He didn’t know how much time had passed before he heard Peter calling his name once again.  

“Mr. Stark?  Mr. Stark!  You can get up now!  I cleared a path for you!”  Peter’s loud whispers echoed in his ears again, every harsh syllable feeling like a hammer against his frontal lobe.  

Tony groaned, moving to stand before he was pulled back down in a wave of dizziness.  His vision was swimming and everything was fuzzy.  Who was talking again?  Why was it so loud?  

Getting unsteadily to his feet once more, he stumbled blindly forwards, trying to grasp onto something, anything to steady him.  

He soon felt some slight support, as if someone was grabbing his wrists and trying to hold him upright.  

“Woah… Mr. Stark, maybe you should sit down…?”  a quiet, worried, and high-pitched voice rang out in front of him.  

Peter.  That voice was Peter.  Peter was the one holding him up right now.  He sounded worried.  He was worried… about him?  What had happened?  

Oh… yeah.  The crash.  That would at least explain the pounding in his head.  

He needed to keep Peter calm.  After that, he just needed to get back to the compound and sleep the rest of it off.  Then everything would be okay.  

“No, it’s fine, I’m just - ”

Peter cut him off before he could finish a proper excuse.  “Mr. Stark, lift up your mask for a sec?”

Perhaps against his better judgement, Tony obliged, squinting and blinking as the now unfettered sunlight hit his sore eyes.  Everything was out of focus and the world felt like it was spinning.  But, through the fog, he could still hear Peter’s voice of concern.  

“Woah your pupils are like, totally uneven.  I’m pretty sure you got a concussion, sir.”

Tony mumbled out a half-hearted rejection, not having the strength to fully refute what was so obviously true.  Hell, all really cared about at the moment was the hope that the world would stop spinning.  

“You’re showing all the symptoms.  We learn about this stuff in health class, ya know.”  Peter chuckled slightly, obviously trying to make light of what was probably an uncomfortable situation for him.  “Why don’t we get Mr. Rhodes to take you back to the compound and get you an appointment with medical, eh?”  Peter’s awkward laughs continued as he wrapped his arm around Tony’s middle and guided him out of the surrounding rubble, com already activated.  “Mr. Rhodes, we’re gonna need an evac over here.  Mr. Stark probably… well, more like definitely’s got a concussion.  Probably not the best idea to have him flying back on his own like this.”  

Tony was vaguely aware of some affirmative banter between the two before he decided to object.  

“Alright, alright kid.  No need for any of that.  I can make it back on my own.”  He figured his argument would have been a lot more convincing had he not nearly tripped and fell as he finished the thought.  

Peter smiled a bit, obviously trying not to laugh before setting his features again in what seemed to be an attempt to appear stern.  “Uh-uh, sorry Mr. Stark, but you wouldn’t let me do this on my own, and I’m not letting you!”  

Tony couldn’t help but smile as the boy’s grip noticeably tightened around his waist.  Later, he’d blame the sentimentality on the concussion, but deep down, he knew that he had a good kid.  

“Dang it, kid.  Stop making such great points.”

[dailyaudiobible]

05/04/2021 DAB Transcript

Judges 19:1-20:48, John 3:22-4:3, Psalms 104:24-35, Proverbs 14:22-23

Today is the 4th day of May welcome to the Daily Audio Bible I am Brian it is a joy and a privilege to be here with you today as we continue to take steps forward, day by day and they keep leading us a day forward. And every time we do that then, a week passes and then a month. And here we are in this fifth month of the year on this fourth day of the month we find ourselves in the book of Judges all the way from the book of Genesis. So, we’ll just keep going and before we know it we’ll be reading the last paragraphs of the Bible and it’ll be like, “where did the year go?” So, let's continue our journey learning about the different judges of Israel, the people that rose up to lead the children of Israel after Joshua. And after that entire generation died out everyone did what was right in their own eyes. Israel didn't have a king or a supreme ruler and they were pretty meticulous about abandoning the Lord and doing some of the very, very critical things He asked them never to do. And we kind of see that coming out in the book of Judges. So, today we’re reading from the New International Version. Judges, chapters 19 and 20.

Commentary:

Okay. So, we have a little bit of a cliffhanger going on in the book of Judges and we have a story that is really difficult - profound injustice followed by very very costly injustice. I mean there are a few really really difficult stories in the Scriptures, and we've encountered a couple of them. This one…this one is up there at the top of the list of just being hard to imagine and, you know, trying to find some sort of spiritual undercurrent here that…that we could look at. That's not really in this story, though, is it? Kind of hard to find that redemptive thread and maybe that's the point. It's not there. And this is what happens when it's not there. So, we’re not done with this story. We’ll have to continue forward into tomorrow and maybe we’ll have some…some things talk about tomorrow. But let’s just look at the story in as much as we know of it and let's take note of something. The story begins not like, “once upon a time in a land far far away”, the story begins, “in those days Israel had no king.” And that is a phrase and a theme that we keep seeing in the book of Judges. The book of Judges kind of opens up with this idea that Israel has no king, and everybody is doing whatever they think is right in their own eyes almost like it's a little bit of a disclaimer. Like, “okay the things you are gonna read you need to understand that Israel didn't have a supreme ruler, and everybody was doing whatever they wanted. You need to know that as you go into this time period.” Judges makes it very clear to us if we’re paying attention. So, just like this story begins, “in those days Israel had no king.” And that's when we learn of the story. A man in the remote country of Ephraim had a concubine. So, she's like his common-law wife as we see later in the story, like when he goes back to get her, her husband treats him like a husband. This is just a different arrangement. We don’t have these kinds of…of arrangements typically in the cultures that we live in. So, we can back read our culture into this time and go, “how strange, how weird, how awful”, when what we need to do is just go, “this is a totally different point in history. People are valuing completely different things and they have different priorities.” So, this man, he has this woman. She's not named. She is unfaithful to him according to what we…we read…we read in the book of Judges and she goes and returns back to her father on Bethlehem. And, so, four months later he goes back essentially to see if the relationship can be repaired. The father welcomes him into the house. He stays there for several days. There all getting reacquainted. The…perhaps the relationship is being repaired because she ends up leaving with him and. And then we just begin to realize that the systematic choices in this story actually draw out the conclusion of the story. It's just so bizarre. If any one of these little, tiny decisions were different the whole story would be different. Like, what if he didn't go for months to get her? Then this is a total…this story never happens. And then what if he just gets her and leaves for home the next morning? Well then, this story never happens. But it’s the father-in-law that keeps like trying to delay the departure. And we can understand that. We don't…I mean…if our kids come to visit we don’t want them to leave. And, so, stay another day or whatever. So, we can kind of read into that or just look into that and go, “I kinda understand what's going on here little bit” or at least potentially what's going on. The father-in-law keeps trying to delay their departure. Finally, the man is determined he's gonna get away. Like, he's not waiting another minute. He's not staying another night. And, so, he ends up instead of leaving early in the morning leaving late in the afternoon. That choice right there, like if he left in the morning this is totally different story. So, they’re traveling north, they’re traveling north. I mean Bethlehem's like 6 miles south of Jebus, Jerusalem. So, they had traveled that 6 miles and it was getting dark and there were near the city of Jebus, which is Jerusalem and the servant’s like, “let's stay with the Jebusites.” And he's like, “no. We’re gonna stay only where there are Israelites.” And, so, they continue to move on a couple more miles until they…until they get to Gibeah, which is where this whole thing happens. They probably didn't stay in Jebus for fear of what actually happened in Gibeah. Again, these choices, they stack up to tell the story. So, they’re waiting to be taken in. They’re sitting in the city square looking for some hospitality. This is the custom. They get no hospitality until an older man from Ephraim comes in, welcomes them into his home. And then the…the men of the city surround the…surround the old man's house. They want the guy to come out. They want to have sex with the man, the visitor. And, so, the old man comes out and is like, essentially what he's trying to tell those men is, “these are my guests. They are under my roof. I have extended hospitality to them. They are under my protection. It's against the code, basically. It's kind of against our unspoken ethics here, that you don't do this kind of stuff. We have offer…offered hospitality and they’re safe here.” But then this…just the whole thing goes sideways when he's like, “look, take my virgin daughter, take this man's concubine. Do whatever you want to with them. Just leave this man alone.” This is when we brush up with the patriarchal nature of a very ancient time and it's… Look, this story bothers me. It doesn't bother me that it's in the Bible. It bothers me that there is such a thing as this story and you probably feel the same. So, what we’re not trying to do is figure out some way to whitewash and paint this thing into a good story. It's a horrible story. It's in the Bible because it's a horrible story. Nobody's gonna read this story. Nobody has been reading the story over the last several thousand years, “going that is in awesome story. Let's make a movie. I’m gonna write a children's book about this story and it should be told throughout the generations.” Nobody's doing that. It's not that kind of a story. This story is supposed to be an awful story. We’re supposed to read it like it's a bad story, like it’s a disruptive, disconcerting story. And we can see…like I'm not making that up, but just keep going…like…we’ll see how in just the second. So, that happens. The concubine gets thrown out the door. The men of the town rape her to death. She dies on the doorstep with her hand on the threshold. Don't think for a second that those details, all those details are not meant to make us that much more unsettled about a kind…this kind of a story. And the Ephraimite, he wakes up in the morning, which…man… He wakes up in the morning, he steps out the doorstep. He’s gonna go on his way. He finds concubine, apparently sleeping on the doorstep because she's had, I guess, apparently a long night. And he's like, “let's go. Let's go. Get up. Let's go.” But she's dead, so she doesn't answer, and he realizes that she's dead, so he puts her on his donkey and takes her back home to Ephraim. It's okay to look at this kinda look at this guy and go, “I have no respect. I…I don't respect how this went down.” That's okay. Nobody does. But he does set off something because he cuts her up into 12 pieces. And that's grisly and gory enough, but they don't have email and they don't have local or national news. They don't have Internet. They…they spread the word in very different ways than we do now. And in this case if you have a body part of someone along with a bit of a story that shows up to your tribal Council then your tribal leaders are probably going to get together with the others because they’re getting body parts to to try to figure out what this all means. And they do get together. They do come together, and they come together with outrage, which is how we begin to know that this is actually an outrageous story. The people, 400,000 armed men from the other tribes come together outraged. “How could something like this happen among us?” This is the question. “Nothing like this has ever happened among us before since we came out of Egypt.” This is what they're saying. So, this is an outrageous thing that has happened. And once the story is told in their hearing, they…the story binds them together as one with one voice. And that one voice is justice will be served upon those people in Gibeah. And, so, at that point we can go, “okay. I’m on board with that. Like, I see…I see that the people are shocked by what happened.” And, so, this wasn't like the normal way of things. The people are shocked enough to go to battle…to go to Civil War over it. And, so, they send messages to the tribes, the tribal leaders of Benjamin saying, “hand over the perpetrators” basically “hand over the evil people that were…perpetrated this kind of violence, this kind of outrage, this kind of sin among our people. It must be purged from among us.” The tribe of Benjamin, though, they just get their own army together. And, so, it is…and so it is…so it is Civil War. And we watched several battles. And we watched tens of thousands of people die in pursuit of justice. And we see one final battle that pulls the Benjamites out into the open and they are defeated, robustly defeated. What we don't quite understand yet, what we will begin to see as we conclude the story, but what we don't quite understand at this point in the story is that Benjamin is destroyed, an entire tribe. The youngest son of Moses, remember that…that younger son and Joseph sees his younger brother that he hasn't seen since he was a baby, and he weeps? Remember that whole story back in Egypt? These are his offspring, Benjamin’s children, the tribe of Benjamin. They are utterly destroyed. There are only you hundred people left in the entire tribe. So, an outrageous crime, like an outrageous tragedy, an obscenity committed within Israel and then the rebelliousness of those who will not turn over those who perpetrated the violence has led to the tens of thousands of people losing their lives and the annihilation of one of the tribes of Israel. And we can look at it and go, “there is no redemption in this story”, but there is actually. Taking the long view, there really is and we’ll see that. We’ll see that…we’ll see that as the story continues, but we’ll see that as we continue our journey into the era where there are kings in Israel because Israel's first king, his name will be Saul. Guess where he comes from? The smallest family in the smallest tribe. He's the insignificant person in his family who lives within an insignificant tribe known as Benjamin. So, we’ll allow the story play out while keeping in mind that at those…in those days Israel had no king, because that's we keep being told. It’s being told to us almost like a warning, like some of this territory is tough and we just happened to past through some of that tough territory. Because this is what happens when people in covenant with God abandon God and go their own way. And we can see, like all these little choices, they add up to stuff. I mean we could say, “well…dah…like you didn't have to make it about that story. Every little decision that we make adds up to stuff all the time.” Yeah, that's kind of the point. We’re telling the story of our lives with the choices that we make all the things we choose, all the motives of our heart, they’re leading somewhere. And, if anything, we can look into this story and go, “a couple different decisions change this whole story.” And, so, maybe we should slow down and be just a little more cautious about the decisions that we’re making because a couple different decisions can change anybody’s story.

Prayer:

Father we thank you for your word and we thank you for disruption. We thank you. It’s not like it was an enjoyable story to read but this is what happens. And we think you for leaving that in there, for leaving that for us. This is what happens when the covenant is broken, and everyone goes their own way and chases after all other gods and gives themselves in worship other things. This is where the trail goes. So we don’t like to read these stories, but this is where that path goes where awful things can happen. And, so, help us Holy Spirit to pay attention to the decisions that we make, especially the ones that can be consequential. And help us Holy Spirit to have wisdom's voice that is calling to us at every crossroads, help us to stop ignoring, help us to follow the path of wisdom because it's not like this sort of thing doesn't still happen on planet Earth. Human beings still stray incredibly far from you and lose all tethering to humanity and become animals and do this kind of stuff. It still happens. So come Holy Spirit let us be the wise ones. Let us see what's going on and learn the lessons that are bestowed upon us from the Scriptures. We pray this in the name of Jesus. Amen.

Announcements:

dailyaudiobible.com is home base, it’s the website, it’s where you find out what's going on around here. Always something going on around here.

So, we are settling in with this new baby that's a part of our lives now, Reagan the brave, and seeing her with her eyes open and looking around and becoming aware and getting to know the voice of her mommy and her daddy and loving, loving, loving that. And yes, I think probably for the next several months I could give to daily update on Reagan. I won't. But it brings up something else that we have discovered to be quite exciting in our neck of the woods and that is that we have been informed that there will be another baby coming into our world yet this year. Our son Christian and his wife have announced that they are also expecting, and they will also be…be bringing up baby girl into our lives this September. So, the girls are making a comeback, they’re making a show here and I love it, I love it. And, so, we are certainly excited and overwhelmed with all of this is news and that's just…I mean…part of the of the world around the Global Campfire here. And, so, thank you for he hooker prayers over this next little one and her development and her safe delivery into this world come this autumn. We’re gonna have a couple of babies around Christmas time this year and that's…that's pretty exciting. So, thank you for your prayers over our family as we expand.

And, of course, we’re a community of prayer and so we pray for each other all the time every day and there are a number of ways to stay connected in prayer and fellowship. One would be…well…the Community section in the app or on the website. That gives links to different social media channels as well as that…well…that’s home base for the Prayer Wall. And, so, there's always prayer happening there.

And if you have a prayer request or encouragement that you want to call in then there are a number of numbers that can be used. But first of all, you can use the Hotline button in the app, the little red button at the top no matter where you are in the world, or if you want to use the phone, the…the number in the Americas is 877-942-4253. In the UK or Europe 44-20-3608-8078. And in Australia or that part of the world 61-3-8820-5459 is the number to call.

And that's it for today. I’m Brian I love you and I'll be waiting for you here tomorrow.

Community Prayer and Praise:

Good evening Daily Audio Bible this is Faith from Mississippi. I just want to say congratulations to China and Ben on the birth of their little Princess Reagan. It's such a blessing. And I want to let Honeybee know that I am praying for her as well as well as everybody else. Have a blessed day. Again, this is Faith from Mississippi. Thank you to Brian and Jill for this podcast.

Hi, this call is for…brother you went by the name, I think it was Running Bear, it was like a trail name or something. I just…man that totally…your message there…I've done that to people who have lost people and I didn't even…didn't even realize that was what I was doing or why. So, thank you for calling. I'm gonna do my best not to do that. I'm praying for you guys. I love you guys. And yeah, thank you for calling man. I'll be praying for you guys.

Hi, it's Donna from California and it's April 29th and I've listened a few times now to a prayer request from, I think his name is Running Bear whose wife passed away about four years ago. He has teenage children and was describing something that really just should not be but sadly is, just an abandonment by the church because people, I don't know, are uncomfortable. People, as you very acutely noted, want to avoid any hint of suffering. People don't want to be reminded of something could happen like that to them. That is our American culture. And Running Bear I am…I just…I wanna say I am so sorry for that. That just shouldn't be. I…I…I repent of that in my own life of times that I’ve just withdrawn from somebody who…who had suffered a tragic loss. And I don't want that to be. That…that should not be who we are as Christians. And thank you so much for that reminder, that we need to step up, we need to do better as…as Jesus followers. We need to care about one…one and other much better than that. And please call in again. We love you and I…I bet lots of people are praying for you. I am too.

Good morning DAB family God bless you all. So, congratulations China, Ben, and Hardin family. Oh, my goodness Reagan Brave Brown you are in this world and the Lord's gonna do amazing things in your life. I pray that over you in the name of Jesus. Alright family, here we go. Tony the Narrator I am so sorry you have not been feeling well and this anxiety over you, but we bind those spirits in the name of Jesus. I bind those spirits of anxiety that are trying to take over you in the name of Jesus. Madison from Cali a newbie welcome sweetheart welcome. Your dear friend Tray, I am praying for sobriety. I have prayed alongside with you. I am praying that he will be able to find his Sabbath, you know, to take his release from work in the name of Jesus and to be free of alcoholism in the name of Jesus. David from Pennsylvania, yes, that revelation, Hallelujah. God's love never fails. Thank you, Lord. Thank you for sharing that in the name of Jesus. Tim congratulating us. Praise you Jesus, you know, for being a part of this family as you are, and we congratulate you for being here too. And happy birthday to your sweet little one who turned 2. Diane Olive Braun, shalom, shalom. Yes sweetheart, I thank you Jesus. Every day should be like today because there are new mercies and new grace every day, every morning. We are so blessed to be here with the Lord. We are so blessed to share His love. We are so blessed to share His word. We are so blessed to be a beacon of light to others. I love you family. I love you. I love you. __. Esther from…

Hello Daily Audio Bible friends and family. I just want to take this time to…just to pray and just to give God glory, just to remember who He is, what He's about and what He stands for. Too many times we forget just like the Israelites. When they got in trouble they called out to God. God rescued them and he went…they went back to their sinful ways serving other gods and then they get in trouble again, call God…call on God again to rescue them. One time He told them, “hey you get that other God that you serving to…to…to…to rescue you.” But they kept crying out. And we know the blessings and the greatness of our God. He always…He always comes through. So, let us never forget who God is and what He's about. Let us serve Him with all our heart. Let us not keep dabbling back and forth into sin and righteousness because it's not a good mix but instead let us hold on to His mighty hand and have Him help us to live a righteous life, a godly life, a godly life that is free from idolatry, a godly life that is free from serving other gods because we know the one and true God, the only God is our Lord and savior. So, let us not go back and forth but let us pray and ask God to help us to live in a way that honors Him every day, each day, all day long, and from here until the time that we…until the time that we enter in…

First and foremost, thank you God because a lot has happened in my life and you are really truly watching me, keeping me. This is Carla from East Texas and I’m…I called with a prayer request for my great niece who I still have guardianship over. We are taking a tiny vacation in Galveston right now and it's lovely here. We're just chilling and I’m listening to my…my Daily Audio Bible on a swing outside listening to these strange birds while the girls are running around, and my mom is here with us. And it's nice to get away. And I praise God that we were even able to do this because I've never done this in my life. But praise God that she is thriving in school things are still a little bit rough sometimes, but she loves it with us, and I tell her every day that we're so glad to have her. Family life is still a little rough. Just please keep praying for all of us including her dad, my nephew who's going through a lot and my daughter who's adjusting pretty good. But I just wanted to get on and at least update you. I love hearing this - the prayers and the praises. And I just feel like I'm a part of an awesome new big family. So, God bless, and I love you.

[dorothydelgadillo]

4 Things They Don't Tell You About Parental Leave - From A First Time Dad

I heard time and time again that nothing prepares you for parenthood.

And boy, was that right!

My wife Victoria and I welcomed our little girl, Madelyn, into the world 3 months ago (September 29th!) and it was one of the most amazing experiences of my life.

But that also brought on the insane stressor of planning my parental leave (I’m fortunate that IMPACT offers employees - both moms and dads - 8 weeks of parental leave). I love my job and the folks I get to work with, so making sure I didn’t leave anyone in the lurch was important to me.

Here are four things I was completely blindsided by during my parental leave - along with some insight from other IMPACT parents on their experiences, both at IMPACT and outside of it.

Hopefully, this will help to prepare you a bit more than I was!

1. Babies Are Amazing!

...and at times, more difficult than your day-to-day job.

I always wanted to be a dad - so I felt somewhat prepared for parenthood. Funnily enough, a lot of the things that I had encountered and learned at IMPACT had set me up for success in being a new parent.

Two things in particular stand out:

Steep Learning Curves

Being Agile and Embracing the Messy.

Steep Learning Curves

The hardest part, for me, in being a new parent was the elements of the unknown.

Can she have milk straight out of the fridge? Is her diaper on right? Is she sleeping too much? Too little? The list goes on and on.

There’s probably a new question every minute running through your head. But being able to slow down, assess the situation, then act on what was going on was absolutely critical.  

One of the “double-edged swords” of the world we live in is the internet. I had so much information and insight at a moment’s notice - which is great at 2:30am when you’re worrying about a stuffy nose.

But the amount of information on the web can also create unnecessary fear and stress - so take everything you’re reading with a grain of salt (easier said than done🤣🤣).

I was shocked at how quickly we both learned the ins and outs of baby care, keeping her happy, and what was likely bothering her based on which cry she’d let out.

The first month of “parent-life” felt like it had a lot of correlations to early start-up life at IMPACT - specifically, needing to learn frequently to thrive in my role, and coping when things go wrong.

Be Agile and Embrace the Messy

Things.Will.Go.Wrong.

That is a fact.

Case in point, the first time we tried to take a family trip to the grocery store.

What’s normally a 20-minute ordeal sans-baby, turned into a 1.5-hour trek that included two outfit changes, a mid-trip feeding, and a forgotten half-gallon of milk.

Be present and understand that even when nothing goes as planned, you’ll get through it with your partner.

I asked our Design Supervisor Jessie-Lee Nichols about her experience with embracing the messy. She told me that “Delegation skills transfer to your home life. You’ll need help and you’ll need to ask for it often to avoid drowning.”

“Delegation skills transfer to your home life. You’ll need help and you’ll need to ask for it often to avoid drowning.”

There are definitely many parallels between what’s successful in the workspace versus the “arena” of having a tiny human at home. To Jessie-Lee’s point, one of the biggest things you don’t want to do is not communicate with your partner (and family) if you need help.

As the saying goes, delegate and elevate!

2. You'll Miss Your Team More Than You’d Think

With all of the prep I had done to ready myself for being out of the office, unplugged, and focused on family time - I was completely unprepared for missing my team as much as I did.

This is especially true if you work at a company that has a very close-knit culture, like we do at IMPACT, and it may be one of the harder things you encounter on parental leave.

After 7+ years here, it’s hard to imagine a week without some of these folks around - let alone two months.

Once the newborn chaos slowed down, and we got into a groove at home, I found myself missing some of the familiar faces and conversations.

That may differ for you based on your company culture, but it can be a real downer when you’re home and missing your team especially since, when you’re passionate about what you do, not being engrained in it every day can be stressful.

My counter to that was to have quick, ad-hoc chats with folks to not feel so left out, and it worked really well!

I found that grabbing 10 to 15 minutes just to say “Hi”, and check in with a small group of folks really helped me stay in the loop and not drive myself crazy.

3. Working Small Amounts Can Keep You (and Your Partner) Sane

Saying that this statement was true for me is a massive understatement.

I love my wife (Hey, honey 👋) but limited sleep, a screaming baby, and scarce contact with other adults can make even the most glued-together couples start to annoy each other.

We realized early on in our parental leave that doing 30 to 60 minutes of work throughout the week helped revitalize us, even if it’s just clearing out your inbox, and marking down things to prioritize upon your return (more on that below), or doing a quick check-in with the team.

Before your head explodes because I just recommended you take time away from your family - hear me out.

It worked for a few reasons, in my opinion.

We had some dedicated “me” time away from each other, and the baby. Plus, it let us shift our mindset back into the things we’re passionate about - aside from the little bundle of joy. 😀

The break from all things baby actually refreshed me, and helped me start to see how I could balance my commitments early on.

Another thing to consider is there may be times that the team needs you. It may be unavoidable.

Marc Amigone, one of IMPACT’s Client Success Managers and fellow first time dad said, “I was totally out of a work mindset for the first month and totally focused on dad stuff, until someone messaged me to let me know about an internal conversation I should be aware of... then it was like my bubble popped and I had never left.”

“I was totally out of a work mindset for the first month and totally focused on dad stuff, until someone messaged me to let me know about an internal conversation I should be aware of... then it was like my bubble popped and I had never left.”

While it’s extremely important to unplug and dedicate time to the family, it’s equally important, in my mind, to not leave your team high and dry.

I experienced the same thing when getting back into the office. Strangely enough, even after eight weeks, it felt like I had never left. The routine was still there, and I was able to almost jump right back in.

Something that I’ve always battled with when taking time off is the fear of what awaits me upon my return. I’m sure I’m not the only one who has felt this way.

That’s another reason why I worked small amounts on parental leave - so I knew what’d I’d be coming back to. It’s also important to have a solid transition plan - both when you’re leaving and coming back.

4. What You Can Do To Make It Easier

The entire new parent experience is a daunting one, but with a little planning, you can make the transition so much easier.

I recommend planning your exit, and your return, so you know exactly what is expected and so does your team. That way, in all of the chaos that happens in the first couple months of parenthood, there’s some structure to fall back on.

While I was preparing for my parental leave, I did a few things with some guidance from our awesome VP of Talent, Natalie Davis.

Documenting what a typical day looks like for you, what your major responsibilities are, as well as your leave plan, are a few pretty simple things that can help dramatically. They definitely did for me.

I also spent some time recording videos of me giving insight into what things can pop up in my role, how I handle certain conversations, and other tips to help whoever was taking over for me to prepare and get a better understanding of what to expect.

Lastly, that plan I mentioned was extremely helpful in getting both me and my supervisor on the same page regarding my parental leave. I detailed what my rough exit date would be, along with my return date, when I was going to be completely unplugged, and when he could start reaching out if needed.

Things can change quickly when you’re expecting, and they did for us! Our little girl came 3 weeks early, so having a plan documented with dates that could easily be shifted was so helpful.

When you’re starting to transition back into the office (or working remotely), that same type of plan can save your sanity.

During the last two weeks of my parental leave, I started working a 2 to 4 hours, three days a week, to get my mind back into the old habits and shake off the dust.

That type of transition back isn’t ideal for everyone, but it absolutely helped me get back to work and started full steam ahead.

Once I got back to the office, I made sure to keep a few morning hours blocked to dig through any remaining emails as well as have some time to get into the right zone before the meetings and work piled on.

Every little bit helped :)

Jessie-Lee gave me one of the best bite-sized nuggets of knowledge regarding the transition back, especially for remote moms (but it applies to dads too!).

“Be real with your team; tell them you need time to pump/nurse, tell them when emotionally things are a bit too much, and tell them when to expect a sick kiddo strapped to your chest on the next video call. Life is allowed to happen, just as much as work is expected to.”

That level of candor, vulnerability, and as she put it, realness, can make or break your new parent experience as you transition back into the workforce.

Don’t be afraid to let your team know what you’re experiencing and ask for help.

Parental leave is an incredible benefit that can be a daunting thing to plan for. After all, it’s a huge change in your life, plus a transition to account for getting back into the workplace. But with some planning, support and the right mindset - you’ll be burping babies and crushing goals in no time :)

from Web Developers World https://www.impactbnd.com/blog/parental-leave-lessons-learned