#(there were bigger things grabbing the collective attention)

[jenderandjazzhands]

HankyGate2.0

ONE(1) evening later:

[nemesyaaa]

buffalo'66 au ! old!serial killer! rafe x young!sugardoll!reader

warnings : daddy issues/kink. slight of rafe having a god complex. smut. sick love/obssession/behavior. age gap. size kink. gunplay. spit. mean!dark!rafe. mentions of kidnapping/murdering. dark content. be careful with the warnings.

author's note : i think a lot about rafe having a god complex. and the way it could fix him to have a girl who cherish him and love him like he's just the only one. as the same i think a lot of rafe being a cult!leader with a sweet lamb. anyways, enjoy !

you knew you weren't allowed to touch his gun, but you couldn't pretend that the forbidden rules didn't excite you either. the proof being that you were still with rafe even though he had kidnapped you. you had found the glock in the drawer, and now you were having fun with it to the point where you hadn't heard your jailer come home. you were too captivated by the handgun to pay attention to that.

“ will you teach me how to shoot ? ” you asked in a soft tone.

“ obviously not. but i can swear to you that if you don't put the gun right in my hand in a second, i will show you how i use it. especially on a little tiny thing like you. now stop playing and give it to me, sugardoll. i already told you to not get on my nerves. ”

“ are you a serial killer or something ? ” you said to him, not aware about his job.

“ no obviously, i'm a babysitter. see ? how well i care about little silly girls ? ” he answered with the most sarcastic tone. “ i think you already know what i am, but you like playing dumb. because you're desperate for my attention. you need me to explain things, to satisfy your need of validation. that's right ? ”

he moved from his place, and placed himself behind you, your small body caged against his bigger size. you could feel all the pressure of his strength on you, and you started to shiver when his breath came near to your ears.

“ since you want to play with daddy's gun so bad, i'm willing to give you what you want. ”

“ no, i don't want to play anymore ! ”

“ oh i'm afraid to tell it's too easy like that, sugar. the game doesn't stop when you decide. the game stops when i’m done playing. got it ? nod your head if you got it.”

you really started to be his doll, accepting to nod whenever he wants, to use you whenever he feels the need, to move whenever he decides. when you nodded your head, giving him a little look, he grabbed the gun.

“ you will kill me ? don't, i can be good ! ”

“ you can ? no, you will. choose your words better, sugardoll. why are you crying right now ? the worse it yet to come actually. now, open that pretty mouth of yours. ”

you refused, shaking your head. you were terrified that he would kill you.

“ i said open it. if i have to repeat it, i swear that i will snap dry this gun further in your cunt, and everytime a sound will come out your mouth, pushing it deeper inside. do you understand me ? now, don't you want to be a baby sugardoll, full of kindness and sweetness ? show me how sweet and pretty you are for me. and listen to me. ”

with tears on your cheeks, you slowly opened your mouth. you could feel rafe’s smile against your neck. you were so submissive, the perfect victim. he had chosen you well the day he saw you. like a true serial killer, he never missed his prey.

“ this is why you call me sugardoll ? ”

“ see ? i'm good enough to give you a nickname. ”

it was sick but you smiled, you felt like you were special in his eyes. maybe rafe had a collection of little dolls but you felt unique.

“ don't kill me. i'm begging you. ”

“ fuck, you don't know how hard you make me when you're desperate like that. but trust me, i will make you see soon how good you make me feel. it will be your reward for being this sweet for me, sugardoll.”

he spread your legs, holding them wide with his strong hand covering your trembling thigh while his other hand brought the front of the gun down onto your skin. passing the coldness of steel across your tummy, while you shivered at the thought of dying. when he got to your underwear. you had heard his smirk.

"oh sure, you don't want to die. you want to be fucked. it's so wet here, i could stick the gun in without even preparing you, it would slide off so easily.” his mocked tone made you yelp.

“ i'm not controlling myself ! ”

“ and you don't need too. let me take care of you. keep your mouth open. i will put my gun in. ”

“ i can't do this ! it seems very dangerous…”

“ then suck it well, sugar. especially, if you don't want me to empty the gun on your gorgeous throat. ” he warned you, while pressing his lips on your neck. it was not a kiss, but you were so soft for this little touch. you wanted to please him, to see him proud of you.

he rushed the pistol between your wet plump lips, and you almost choked on it. “ be careful, doll, daddy's gun it's loaded. ” he said with a smile that made your tears even saltier.

while you had started to do your job, his fingers were lightly pressed on the surface, fiddled with the trigger. he loved seeing your petrified eyes, he loved feeling your blood freeze inside your veins, the way you resembled a frightened and helpless animal. you were defenseless and he had no limits.

you lapped at the cold metal at first, your tongue rolling over the barrel, swirling like a needy pet, and licking every bit of the object. you didn't waste anything, moistening the weapon with your own spit, some trails dripped down your tits. rafe had pushed the gun farther, almost into your throat. you choked, a trail of saliva raining over your jaw.

there was nothing amusing about it, but he found it fun. you sucked like your life depended on it even though let's be honest, it did. you moved back and forth quickly, rushed every movement with a softly sloppy gasp. he loved, no he adored the view of your ruined face and your mouth stuffed by the cold weapon. your great job made his dick painfully hard. you could feel the gun under your tongue, and the way it abused you. you drooled, a batch of saliva engulfing one side of the charger.

“ slow down, sugardoll, you're about to melt. ”

you felt dirty for being turned on by something so humiliating, the way you were pathetic for every single thing he introduced you to. it was as if he knew what you wanted, and how to exploit it. he could destroy you as well as shape you. you were nothing but the doll he wanted to play with. he knew more than anyone how to make you feel good. he knew well how to play with his toys.

you were killing him slowly with the way you were going about it, your pink tongue tickling the barrel, your mouth swallowing the entirety of his gun. every inch moved in and out of your parted lips. you lost count of the number of times you almost choked to the point you could throw up, you did your best.

the cold air of the room hit the soaked fabric of your underwear. it had gotten so wet down there.

you tried to focus on this dangerous game but you saw his bulge growing, his crotch distorting his pants.

“ keep sucking, i'm not done. ”

“ but ..."

he ignored you and took off his pants and boxers, freeing his hard cock. the next minute he was inside you, completely buried to the point where you could feel him all the way to your stomach. you salivated on the handgun, making a rain all over it.

as he filled you up, his thick cock abusing your tight pussy, the position was totally different, you were lying there, still the gun in your mouth, but now he was fucking you. his eyes were on you, and you could feel that motivating him even more to pounded you. your juices pooled on the surface the deeper he went. the slobber gathered around the metal. he rushed away your tears with his thumb.

“ stop whining, sugardoll. you can't cry when daddy takes you so well. ”

you really wanted to listen to him but it was too much for you. you were full of tears and they constantly wanted to come out, even when you felt good. but it was like the more you cried, the more he bullied your pussy, and by that, giving you more reasons to whine.

“ jesus, i'm pretty sure that you really like that gun in your mouth. ” he said with a firm thrust that made you squirm, your eyes wettering as the sentence. “ you like being this pathetic ? don't worry, i got you, i'm not judging you, but don't mind if i take advantage of it ? of course, you don't mind. you love being this sick, you're just a needy freak. ”

he pulled out before putting it back in you, inched himself deeper and deeper, letting you breathless. he was more rough this time, his fat length stretching you wider. his hips slammed your skin, his sweaty balls slapping you in motion. you nodded your head, your loud moans echoed in the empty room. his heavy hand on your tiny throat, pressuring it every time your walls tighten him.

his big other hand squeezing your small waist, as your core wrapped him harder. “ see ? daddy's making you a new home, right now. ”

his breath was heavy and short, the sweat of his body pressed against yours, while you were about to explode, so close to the orgasm. you were crying even more. and he covered your mouth with his large palm. he hitted the right spot again and again, without a break. you reached the second orgasm quickly, and you waited for him to explode at his turn. but he was taking his time on purpose. he obviously liked to abuse this little cunt of yours, wrecking like it was nothing your cervix. he glared at your glistening eyes with a proud face, while hurting your sloppy cunt. “ be patient, sugar. it's a matter of time but daddy will make you melt, and you will make a big mess on his dick to show how grateful you are ? ”

you didn’t answered, even when he released your mouth from his hands, because of the overheating.

“ you better answer because i can go to the next round. ”

“ yes .. yes !! ”

“ you're so naive, sugar. trusting me this easy, it's your own fault if old men like me use you. like did you really think we will not go on another round ? i'm about to make you dumb. not only your brain, your pussy, all of you. after this, you will not be able to think, to talk and even to walk. ”

your tears made him cum, and you let out a noisy and desperate whimper. “ it's sad for you that i'm the only god you can pray for, because i'm going to ignore all your prayers, making you on your knees every time for nothing more than my own good. sweet lamb, i'm such an uncaring god. but you can't hate on me, even a little, such a pretty precious thing you are. ”

“ why ? ” was the only word that came out of your mouth.

in fact, you were a little sad about this, because you wished that he cared a bit, even an hint about you.

“ nobody deserve you like i do. nobody deserve to touch you, or put an eyes on you, no one. you're just mine, and i need you to understand that clearly. do you got it ? do you even understand what i mean ? i will never let someone have you. never. ”

“ i really love you. ”

“ not only you love me, sugardoll. you adore me, you cherish me, you can't breath without me. do you understand ? how trapped i made you.”

“ bu…”

“ quit crying. you wanted this, you begged for. ”

“ i thought you only wanted to kill me ! ”

“if i wanted to kill you, it would already be done. i don't mind having blood in my hands, i'm a killer after all. but yours, i promise, i would never dream of, sugardoll. ”

it was very sick. but his words made you smile.

“ i want to hug you ! ”

“ don't make me regret my words. i still can choke you to death. ”

“ can i ask a question ? ”

“ jesus, if you don't yap more than a thousandth time each day, you're dead or what ? i swear, tell me your question, but choose it carefully because it will be the last. so, use your dumby brain very well. ”

“ i just wanted to know…if it's the first time you do this with one of your victims ? ”

“ why do you want to know ? ”

“ you need to answer ! ”

“ and you need to mind your own business. ”

“ i asked you a question ! it's not fair if you don't answer it ? ”

“ you better not try to raise your voice at me because i can shout, and trust me, the tears i will bring in your face will not be that pretty. ”

“ you're still mean to me…nothing has changed. ”

“ and you're still annoying. yes, nothing has changed.”

and you smiled at him, your sweet eyes melted on his unhichanged look.

“ someday i know you will love me too ! ”

“ bold to have faith, better to work on it, sugardoll. ”

you gave him a sweet look, even if he was grumpy, you wanted him.

[thinkingotherwise]

Summer time!

~Let's go to the beach-each Let's go get a wave...~

I'm not a beach person but anything for the Bofurin Primo

Wind Breaker characters on the beach with you

Bubble gun 🫧🔫

Seiryu Sakaki - The moment you took out the bubble gun his eyes were glued to it and he waited for the perfect moment. You filled it with bubble liquid and when your finger moved to the trigger to try it, it disappeared from your hand within a second. You looked surprised to the side to see Seiryuu smirking at you before his hand raised higher and he used it making the bubbles fall down around you and on your body.

Mitsuki Kiryu - Your beach bag was slowly emptying as you pulled out everything you needed. Noticing the toy in your collection he didn't think twice before grabbing it. His eyes glimmered in joy while his lips turned into a smirk. He gave you a quick kiss and tested the bubble gun before running around while attacking his friends with the bubbles.

Kotoha Tachibana - Your gaze turned to her, as she lay down on her beach chair. You contemplated hard about what to do, was your plan gonna work? Sink or swim, let's go. You quickly made up your mind and sneakily took out the bubble gun before stealthily standing behind her. Your hand extended and bubbles came out of the toy and coated her in the soapy substance. She sighed deeply before quickly turning to you and grabbing the thing from your hand. Her face scowling while yours pouted begging for her to give it back.

Takeshi Enomoto - You loved to irritate him, lovingly of course. Anything to have his attention on you and only you. And he, because he loved you way too much, knew you well enough to be reacting to your strange antics in a different way than this. He had a poker face while you ran around him spraying the bubbles around him and then around you playing with them and trying to pop each one that appeared. He breathed deeply and just let you have the time of your life. Seeing your big grin a small smile appeared on his face.

Inflatable flaming/unicorn 🦄🦩

Jo Togame - Oh it was such a great purchase. You thought as you finished pumping the air inside the pink flamingo float. It was perfect for keeping some distance from the rest of the unruly guys from Shishitoren and their water shenanigans. You grabbed the float and entered the water with it before proudly sitting on it and watching everyone have fun and drown themselves (playfully). That was until he swam closer to you and tried to get you to join them. Yet your stubborn self decided to keep yourself on top of the pink flamingo. His smirk made you question his next actions as he swam under water disappearing from your view. Suddenly you were thrown from the float with a yelp and as you came up above the water he smirked at you grabbing you closer to him and swimming closer to others while you trashed in his hold.

Choji Tomiyama - If you knew it would happen you would bring a mattress or something bigger to lay on, rather than the unicorn float. And what exactly happened? You weren't sure either, one second you were floating on the unicorn happily playing with your hands in the water, and the next he appeared above you falling down on you as if jumping from somewhere, or maybe one of the guys helped him. It didn't end well, because as soon as he landed on you, both of you went flying as the unicorn titled sideways making you fall into the water with a splash and he laughed joyfully wanting to do this again.

Yukinari Arima - It was such a bad idea. You jumped in the water trying to get on top of the unicorn float you brought with you to the beach. You should've climbed it when the water wasn't so deep, also as soon as you thought about it you should've done it, maybe then you wouldn't still be in the water while he was taking your place on the float. He made fun of you for not being able to climb on the unicorn and when you told him he couldn't do it as well he proved you wrong. And now the unicorn was stolen from you as you whined from your place in the water and he laughed joyfully sinking in his victory.

Yuto Kusumi - You laughed to yourself from your place above water as you floated happily. He swam near you asking if you would let him join you. After you declined it with a grin he decided to take some revenge. The sun brought you sleepiness and you had a quick nap all the while he watched as you drifted further away but always making sure it wasn't too far away from him. When you finally woke up wiping the sleep from your eyes you were further in the water than you expected and panicked a little calling for him to help you out. He teased you but still came to help you. In thanks you let him join you on the pink flamingo.

Sunscreen ☀️🧴

Toma Hiiragi - His eyes furrowed the moment the words left the stranger's mouth. He quickly made his way to you and glared at him before grabbing the sunscreen bottle from your hands and moving to kneel beside you. You giggled as he voiced that you're perfectly fine and don't need this stranger's help. He can't even imagine anyone else but him touching you and massaging the sunscreen onto your body. You happily positioned yourself as his hands started moving over your warm skin, teasing him here and there that you wouldn't let anyone else do it and there was no need for him to get jealous.

Minoru Kanuma - You finished putting the sunscreen on him and then he moved to do the same for you. Although the feeling was slightly different than you thought as his fingers slowly moved over your body. First, you didn't mind it all that much focusing simply on the feeling of his palm against you but then you thought about it more and when it came to you, you turned to him with accusation evident on your face. You asked him if he was writing on your back instead of applying the sunscreen evenly and he couldn't help the laugh that left his mouth as you glared at him in betrayal. After confirming your accusation he promised to do it correctly this time.

Ren Kaji - He sat down beside you watching carefully as you applied the sunscreen over your legs and arms. His gaze followed the movement of your fingers as if hypnotized and you smirked to yourself when you noticed it from the corner of your eyes. The next moment the bottle was in front of him as you gazed at him with your pretty eyes asking him to put it on you. He gulped grabbing the sunscreen and facing your partially naked body. And then you lay down telling him to sit on your legs because that way it'd be easier. He didn't know why he agreed but he did and later he had to keep himself in check as his hands slowly massaged the substance over your warm and soft skin.

Akihiko Nirei - The moment you finished putting on your sunscreen you turned with a smile to him. He gulped seeing the mischievous sparkle in your eyes and when you proposed to put the thing on his back he flushed red. He stuttered out a confirmation while you positioned yourself behind him your chest close to his back making him aware of the warmth and closeness of your body. And then your hands touched his skin and he felt a shiver ran down his spine. He quickly stood up tripping over his legs as he ran away yelling that he was going to swim first and later he would join you sunbathing. In reality, he just needed to cool himself off and let his heart slow down from the quick beat your hands brought it to.

Ice cream 🍨🍦

Hajime Umemiya - Noticing the booth near the beach you didn't think twice before grabbing his hand and bringing him to get some ice cream. It was the perfect sweet dessert for the hot day and you read all the names of flavours thinking which one would be the best. After choosing your favourite you shared it with him and he decided to buy two cones, one for each of you. At least you thought so when he ordered them. When the stall booth employee gave it to him he didn't let you grab your ice cream as he brought it to your lips. It seemed like a sweet gesture and you licked the ice tasting the sweetness. You voiced your approval and before you leaned to get another bite it was gone from your sight just like he, who ran away while laughing merrily with both cones in his hands. You chased after him yelling his name and how he was a thief.

Hayato Suou - You brought the ice cream cone to your mouth licking the slowly melting dessert trying to keep it from dirtying your fingers. It was a hard task especially when the weather was so hot it melted even before you grabbed it from his hand. He watched carefully his cup of ice forgotten and only grabbed more tightly with each second his eyes were stuck on you. The ice finally got to you and started dripping down your fingers and you tried to lick it off while a small pout was visible on your face. You stopped your task despite your determination and turned to him to ask if he liked the sweet dessert only to be met with his eyes on you while his mouth was softly opened in arousal.

Uryu Sakaki - Both of you enjoyed the ice cream cups that you got all while sitting on the beach towel and enjoying the breeze of the sea. He hummed happily with each spoon that entered his mouth the whipped cream and sparkles making his mood even better. You yourself liked your dessert but his big smile made it taste even better. And when you noticed the ice cream at the corner of his mouth you chuckled softly getting his attention. You placed the cup by your leg as your now empty hands grabbed his chin and cheek and you leaned closer. Your lips touched the corner of his getting the cold treat and you pulled away while licking your lips. His eyes widened as his face got redder and not necessarily from the hot weather.

Kota Sako - With him, it seemed like a checkpoint, to get some sweet dessert anywhere you were. Somehow he had this 6th sense to pick the best place and the best food options. And so you found yourself with two pretty and tasty ice cream desserts in front of you. You ate yours praising him for his great choice and he smiled enjoying his. Then he picked the best flavours that he knew you'd like and scooped them on his spoon before extending it towards you. You let him feed you feeling warm as he leaned close to be more comfortable. You of course reciprocated and the both of you ate the desserts sharing them between you two.

Playing in water 🌊💦

Tasuku Tsubakino - You had your swimwear on. It was flattering on you and fit you perfectly. And you had to use it in the water. You looked at them, as they were lying there in the beach chair tanning. You huffed to yourself knowing it was already a few good minutes that the both of you spent not in the water, where you really wanted to be. You asked once more if they wanted to join you but as you received yet another no you begrudgingly entered the water alone. Your gaze moved to them as they turned to their stomach and away from you and you smirked as a plan developed in your mind. You quickly ran up to them and picked them up as they yelled at the cold water clinging to you and squirmed in your hold. You held them tightly to your chest and entered the water together while they squealed and when you let them down on their legs they had no mercy. They splashed you just like you wanted while yelling at you and laughing when you begged them to stop.

Taiga Tsugeura - He was the one to bring you to the water and encourage you to play with him as you splashed joyfully. Then he proposed to bring you on his shoulder and carry you. Soon you made it into a game with others to see who was the best. His hands tightly gripped at your legs as he maneuvered expertly making you the winner and taking part in pushing every opponent of yours into the water. In the end, in celebration, and with your acceptance he threw you back from his shoulders making sure you were alright, and grabbing at your waist as he helped you swim back above the water.

Teruomi Inugami - You were lying on the beach towel enjoying the sunshine unaware of what he was getting ready for. Somehow he got his hands on the water pump gun. How? You weren't sure he just got it and you got to know about it only when he ran up to you attacking you and spraying the water over you. You watched in relief as he avoided your bag and all the things you brought only wetting your swimsuit and the towel you were on as you grabbed it and tried to cover yourself from his attacks. His laughter filled the air and he jumped to sit near you when the water gun was empty. You grimaced at him but seeing his happy face a smile appeared on yours as well.

Swimsuit 👙 🩳

Kyotaro Sugishita - As soon as you came to the beach everyone started getting ready taking their clothes off or going to the changing rooms to put on their swimsuits. He was already dressed in one so he just started pulling out the beach mat for the both of you. His eyes caught the movement from your side and he stared with open mouth while you took off your clothes. Left in your chosen swimsuit he immediately stood up and put the Hawaiian shirt he had on around your shoulder to make sure others don't look at your body.

Haruka Sakura - Both of you decided to do some shopping for the beach trip Umemiya was organizing. Sakura was quick to pick some swimming trunks for himself while you had your hands full of colorful swimwear you wanted to try on. You made him wait for you and give opinions about which was the best choice. His face was red basically all the time as you showed off the swimsuits to him in the changing room. He was literally having the best and worst time of his life.

[ivystoryweaver]

Day 11: I Never Knew (Marc, Jake, Steven)

Summary: You meet up with all 3 Moon Boys one fateful night

Notes: gn!reader, angst, violence, fluff, protective Moon Boys being the absolute best TW: abuse. This story starts with an abusive boyfriend.

Word Count: 4.8k

Angstember Prompt Post

Your boyfriend of two years had tested the last of your patience. At first you loved his passionate hotheadedness. You quickly fell for him and moved in together six months later. It was lovely at first, to have someone fun and spontaneous, to sleep next to a warm, protective body at night.

After about a year together, you realized something wasn't right. Your boyfriend kept odd hours, whispered hushed conversations over the phone, made "quick stops" at the oddest hours to the shadiest places.

And that hotheaded passion sizzled into blame and resentment every time you tried to reason with him. He was always quick to apologize, to bring you flowers, or a gift, to take you out for the night, lavishing you with attention and intense, vigorous sex.

So you gave him the benefit of the doubt. He was trying, and every couple had their struggles.

But the fuse of his temper got shorter, and his actions, more suspect. He lost his regular job but somehow still brought home money. When you questioned him, he accused you of not trusting him. Something felt wrong, you knew it deep in your bones, but you told yourself that relationships take work and compromise.

It was just last week that you demanded to know why he was out all night - who he was with and where they went. He'd raised his voice before, on occasion, but that early morning was different. He roared out accusations, lunging at you, and continued yelling and screaming over your cowered body. He didn't touch you, but his words beat you down, literally to the ground, where he left you afraid, sobbing and alone.

That's what it took to make you realize he was abusive. Clearly, he was now verbally abusive, but you started to understand that he had been manipulative, dishonest and controlling the entire time, lying about finances and whereabouts.

He had abused you in almost every way, except physically. You knew it was time to leave, so you started to plan how you would secure yourself a place to stay and what to tell him.

Your phone rang as you finished packing your suitcase - the first of many things you needed to move out. Not recognizing the number, you ignored the call. But it rang again and again and again, with a voicemail that warned you to answer. You blocked the number and tried to frantically dial emergency when your boyfriend burst through the front door, enraged.

Barreling into your bedroom, he roared at you, demanding to know what you did with "the money". Apparently, the phone call was from his boss, calling to collect.

"You mean my money? From my job?" You challenged, shrugging him off and zipping your suitcase closed.

Jerking the luggage out of your hand, he screamed at you about how he needed that money for his boss, how he'd taken care of you all this time, and you owed him.

"You're gonna give me that fuckin' money," he spat, lunging toward you, but you were already running out the door with only your phone in your hand. You thankfully made it into the lift with the doors closed before he caught up, and you could only pray he wouldn't make it down the several floors of stairs and beat you to the lobby.

There was no one downstairs to help you, so you raced out the door into the night, frantically attempting to dial 999 while crying and trying to stay ahead of your insane boyfriend.

You ran as fast as you could, but he was bigger and stronger, and he was gaining on you. Attempting to cut through an alley, your lungs burned, painfully dragging in breath as you pushed yourself toward safety.

But he found you.

Your mobile clattered to the ground as he grabbed both your arms and shoved you hard against a brick wall, calling you all manner of vile names and demanding you give him the money from your account.

Noticing your phone, he twisted your wrist well beyond the point of pain. "You didn't call anyone, did you, bitch? If you get the police involved I'll fucking kill you."

You had already drained your joint account and put money in your personal savings account so that you could afford a deposit on a new place, at least get a moving truck and hook up some utilities. You didn't take any more money than you had made from your job at the museum.

"I owe my boss money and I need it right fucking now," he bellowed, wrapping one hand around your throat and squeezing. “Tell me where it is.”

Unbelievable that it took you til right now to realize your boyfriend was more than an asshole, he was apparently a criminal. Or at least his boss might be if he was demanding a midnight payoff "or else".

"I moved... the money," you gasped, completely out of breath from the running and the crying and the choking and the fear.

He gripped your shoulders and slammed you hard against the wall. "We're going to get it right now. Then we're going home and you're gonna get on your hands and knees and pay for all this shit you put me through."

You whimpered, trembling at his threats, disgusted that his eyes flashed with self-satisfaction. He slipped two fingers into your mouth, pushing them far enough to gag you, an evil chuckle making you cry harder.

"Oh yeah. We're gonna have fun tonight, baby."

"I don't think she wants to be your 'baby', shithead."

You gasped as two eerie, white gloved hands grabbed your boyfriend's head and slammed it against the wall, hard enough to knock him out cold, but not enough to bash his skull in. Unfortunately.

Through your tears, you saw an etherial mummy figure, bandaged and gauzey white, with haunting, moonlit eyes. Your body quaked with more terror than you'd ever known. Perhaps he was the boss your boyfriend was so afraid of.

You passed out in Moon Knight’s arms.

"Shit," Marc Spector hissed, lifting your limp body into a protective embrace. He'd heard your screaming blocks away. Khonshu had directed him to the asshole passed out on the pavement next to you, letting Marc know he was a small player in an elaborate criminal organization. It would keep him busy tonight.

Brushing your hair out of your eyes, he sighed. "Didn't mean to scare you." He decided to take you to A&E, but before he walked away, he kicked your unconscious boyfriend in the side for good measure.

You woke up on a hospital bed, alone, a long while later. It appeared you had been triaged but not admitted. Remembering your boyfriend's threats, you decided you better bail before the police questioned you or you found yourself responsible for medial bills you couldn't pay.

You were scraped and sore, but nothing seemed permanent, so you did your best to sneak back to the waiting room where you could blend in with other would-be patients. One nurse seemed to glance at you questioningly, but you managed to make it out the sliding glass doors and into the night.

Now what could you do? You had no money, no phone, no purse, no bank card, credit cards or cash. Your suitcase was back at your flat. Ambling around the side of the building, you shivered in the night air, realizing even your jacket was still in the building.

Tears burned your eyes but you couldn't give into them. Not now. Your best friend was out of town. It was a long weekend for your co-workers, at least in the office part of the museum. Your parents lived in another country.

Think, think.

A few minutes later, an old fashioned cab pulled up to the curb. The passenger side window lowered revealing a man with a flat cap and a mustache.

"Need a ride, señorita?"

Drawing your hands to your chest protectively, you quickly shook your head. "I-I don't have any money. I dropped my phone."

Shit. Why did you admit that to a stranger?

Jake Lockley nodded understandingly. He had been watching the hospital to make sure you had a ride, should you emerge. Marc's idea, after he did a little late night ass kicking. Marc knew the Moon Knight suit would frighten you, but he wanted to make sure you were okay. A cab ride might seem less intimidating.

"It's on me. You look like you could use a little help."

Tempting. But he probably worked for your boyfriend's boss. "No. No thank you. I'm fine."

"Understood. Be careful out there." He rolled up the window almost all the way before pausing. "I'll swing back by in a while, just in case you change your mind." He drove off without another word.

If he was aiming to hurt you or kidnap you, surely he could have forced you into the car, or worked harder to convince you it was safe to get into the car.

Weighing your options, you decided to try to walk back to the alley where the terrifying white-suited, Avenger-looking dude saved you. Hopefully your boyfriend would be gone and you could at least find your phone. From there, you would have a way to call a cab or the police or at least use money from your account.

As soon as you started walking, you realized how stupid this plan was. But what else could you do? It took you forever, but you finally found your way back to where you were attacked. Your boyfriend was indeed gone and after a maddening search, you found your phone with a cracked screen and 12% battery left.

Better than nothing. You thought you might order an Uber, but where could you go? Not home. Where?

Maybe to work. Someone there would help you, surely. Perhaps Steven from the gift shop - probably the kindest person you'd ever met. He lived in your building too, although you weren't sure in which flat.

You ordered the Uber, and ten minutes later, the same old fashioned cab pulled up to the curb. Your stomach flip-flopped, wondering if this mustached weirdo followed you. But he showed you the Uber confirmation and it was correct.

"But this is a cab," you reasoned.

He chuckled. "They don't make ‘em like this anymore, doll. This is my Uber car."

You tried to listen to your protective instincts, but the sun was rising. You'd been out all night and he was a legitimate driver. So you tucked yourself in the back seat.

The man tipped his hat, announced his name was Jake, and closed the door for you.

"Headed home?" He asked, glancing up at you in his rearview mirror.

"Uh no. No, I can't go home," you quickly answered, wrapping your arms around yourself and rubbing up and down with your hands.

"Got the heat on for you," he kindly offered, "and my jacket's laying across the back seat there, if you need it."

Your eyes cut over to the tempting leather. Without thinking about it too hard, you snatched the garment and pulled it around your trembling shoulders. The smell of not only leather but crisp freshness and earthy warmth, along with something like amber and oak, washed over you. You buried your nose in the comfort of it, grateful for this small mercy.

"Warming up?" He asked you after a quiet few minutes.

"Yes, thank you. You're very kind."

"My pleasure," he grinned in the rearview mirror and it made his eyes crinkle. Steven, from the museum, came to mind. His eyes did that too. "Where can I drop you? Have you decided yet or should I drive around for a while?"

"Oh god, sorry. One sec." Checking the time on your phone, you realized you'd been out practically all night, and the museum would open in a little more than an hour. You could wait outside. "The natural history museum, please."

"A little early for a trip through time. You sure?"

Just then, your stomach growled embarrassingly loudly.

"You ever eat at the bakery right down the street?"

"Um, sometimes." You fidgeted uncomfortably.

"No pressure. You just look like you could use something warm to drink."

Without another word, Jake pulled up to the museum's front entrance. You reached for the door handle, but stopped. "Actually...you're right. Could you drive me to the bakery? I'll just walk back to the museum when I'm done."

"As you wish."

A few minutes later, the old cab parked outside one of the only open restaurants at this hour. Jake rushed around to open the door for you and you quickly handed him his jacket.

"You can wear it if you're cold. No rush."

There was something warm and sincere in his eyes. Again your mind drifted to Steven.

"Thank you." As the two of you walked inside, you held up your phone. "I tried to pay for the Uber and leave you a tip, but it won't let me. Did the transaction get cancelled or something?"

"I told you," Jake reminded you, pulling open the bakery door, "My treat."

"Oh. Thank you. You didn't have to do that."

The two of you sat down and were quickly served glasses of water.

"At least let me pay for breakfast," you offered, but he laughed.

"They only take cash here, I think."

"Jake!" An older man bellowed, bustling up to the table with a karafe of piping hot coffee and two mugs. "We take more than cash. You can always wash the dishes."

The man winked down at you. "I'm teasing, sweetheart. Name's Burt. Janey got one of those Square things, so you can pay on your mobile if you do that kind of thing." He nodded at Jake. "But I'd make this one pay if I were you. Coffee or tea?"

You chuckled, happy to get your hands on a steaming mug of coffee, and slightly relieved that you wouldn't fall further into Jake's debt.

Soon enough, you filled your belly with a warm, flaky pastry and some eggs, polishing off two cups of coffee while you and Jake talked.

"Do you mind if I ask why you're going to the museum?" Jake inquired.

"Um...I work there," you slowly admitted.

"Oh." An unreadable expression clouded his handsome features. "But...I found you at the hospital last night. Are you hurt?"

Your eyes dipped in shame.

"Not trying to be nosy, just...concerned, is all." Gently reaching across the table, he pulled a leaf from your hair. An actual leaf.

You were mortified.

"Wanna freshen up before work?" He nodded toward the washroom.

"Yeah. Thanks." You made a beeline for the loo, wondering why you hadn't thought to put yourself together before walking into the museum like a crazy person.

Jake was right to be concerned. You looked like hell. Dark circles had formed under your eyes. Before you could continue silently berating yourself, the waitress named Janey quietly slipped through the swinging door.

"You okay, dear?" She softly asked, eyeing you in the mirror. Before you could answer, she handed you a clean cloth.

"Thank you," you whispered, gingerly taking the cloth and running it under the faucet. The kindness around you made you sniffle, and you were left wondering why you spent so much time on an asshole like your boyfriend.

"Rough night?" She waved her hand dismissively. "Don't want to pry. Just want to help."

"Thanks," you repeated. "Do you have a toothbrush for sale? Or...mints?"

Between you and Janey, you managed to clean up your mouth, wipe down the upper part of your body and manage to tame your hair.

"You come back by any time, dear," she said lowly as you walked back toward your table, but she reached out her arm to stop you. "I mean it. Anytime."

You nodded, reaching for your phone so you could pay for your meal. "On the house, sweetheart," Burt smiled down at you. "A friend of Jake's is a friend of mine."

You were speechless. Where had all the nice people been hiding?

Jake's eyes lit up when he saw you and he rose to greet you. "Feeling any better?"

You nodded, reaching for one more sip of water before you got back in the cab/Uber.

"Your friends are really nice. I haven't eaten there in a long time."

"We try to help each other out," Jake voiced, stealing a glance at you in the rearview mirror. "It can be rough out there."

You made it to the museum, thankful it would open soon. "You sure I can't pay you, or at least give you a good tip?" You asked him as he opened your door and offered you his gloved hand like a prince in a fairy tale.

"Just promise you'll call me if you need a ride. Or...anything. We'll call it even." He fidgeted with his mustache and you chuckled. Not a look you saw every day but he wore it well.

You thanked him again, but he noticed you stealing glances at his mustache.

"My uh...roomates think this thing is the worst. Not a good look?"

"Oh no," you laughed, "it's very dashing."

Jake bowed jokingly. "My lady."

You walked right into the museum wearing his jacket.

The security officer didn't recognize you because he worked weekends and you didn't. Probably a good thing. You could only hope Steven was scheduled today. But at least being inside the museum would give you a safe, comfortable place to think.

After meandering through several exhibits, you checked back at the gift shop, only to find Donna, Steven's boss, berating him for being late. He apologized profusely, professing that he had no idea why he hadn't heard his alarm. Poor thing. He was so sweet and Donna was just the worst.

She finally let him get to work, and as soon as she headed back to her office, you approached him carefully.

"Hi, Steven," you smiled at him, hoping he would have time to help you.

His eyes brightened when he saw you, but quickly narrowed in concern. You must really look like hell. "You alright, love?"

Bouncing on your toes, you shook your head quickly. "Not really. Can we talk?"

Steven knew he would get in trouble for leaving his post, but this was you. If you needed his help, Donna would have to wait.

Sure enough, she barreled back into the gift shop, ready for a lecture, but Steven pressed his hands together and demanded one more minute.

Guiding you by the elbow, he took you to a quiet corner. "Thought you had a long weekend. What brings you in?"

You asked if there might be any way you could talk in private, in one of the employee lounges. "I know you just got here. I can wait."

Chewing on his lip, he glanced between you and the swinging door where Donna lurked in her evil lair.

"Come on."

Once you were totally alone, he hesitantly reached for your face. “May I?” He whispered, gingerly brushing his fingertips over a scrape on your face. Peering down at your bruised wrist, he gently lifted your hand, shaking his head and exhaling sharply through his nose.

"You're hurt." His eyes locked with yours. "Who did this?"

Your face crumpled and you melted into his arms, the stress of the entire, sleepless night catching up to you. You knew this was the place to go, absolutely certain you would feel safe with Steven.

His heart burned protectively. The two of you sometimes ran into one another on your break, mostly out on the museum's front steps or at the vegan restaurant along the street. Occasionally you saw one another on the train home, or even in your building. He knew you had a boyfriend - the dimwitted bloke.

If that asshole hurt you...

"It's alright. You're safe here." He squeezed you comfortingly.

You finally settled, wiping your nose and eyes with Jake's jacket sleeve. Steven's eyes went wide as he studied the jacket carefully, but he shook his head and focused on you.

"Tell me what happened. What can I do?"

The softest brown eyed gaze you'd ever seen coaxed your confession out of you.

"I need your help," you whispered. "I need to get back into our building, but I don't have my key, or any of my stuff." You produced your phone. "And my phone is dead."

"Okay, of course," he nodded sincerely. "What about your boyfriend?"

"No, no, not him. I think he wants to kill me." You started to cry again.

"To k-kill you? Should we go to the police?"

"No, no police. I just need to get into my flat before my boyfriend gets back. If he's not back already."

Steven sighed. "I knew that dimwitted bloke was an asshole, but - kill you?"

"Steven, please can you help me or not?"

"Of course I will. Do you want to go now?"

"I don't want to get you in trouble with Donna. But my boss is her boss' boss...if that helps. I’ll ask him to pull rank.”

You and Steven took the train back to your building. Although you were half tempted to request Jake's Uber, Steven quickly dismissed that notion without sounding rude.

He let you in the building and you found the super, letting him know you "lost" your key. The super seemed willing to let you in, but warned you not to let it happen again.

As you exited the lift, you carefully looked for any sign of your boyfriend.

"What if he's home?" Steven whispered. "How will you know?

"I guess we just have to take that chance."

The super unlocked your door and you tiptoed inside with Steven behind you. The place seemed to be empty, thank god.

Darting to your bedroom, you recovered the packed luggage your jerk boyfriend tossed aside last night. You rushed to your safe to collect some important documents, working as quickly as you could manage. You made it out the door, not caring that you left it unlocked, dragging your luggage and almost making it around the corner when your heart stopped at the sound of your boyfriend shouting, "Hey!"

You and Steven exchanged looks before he grabbed your hand and your luggage. "Quickly! The stairs."

Trusting his lead, you ran, making your way to his flat, several floors up, before your boyfriend could follow, or figure out what floor you ended up on.

Steven ushered you into his flat, bolting the door as the two of you panted erratically from your exertion.

"Thank you," you gasped, reaching for your baggage. Finally getting a good look around, you couldn't believe how different Steven's flat looked from yours. His was on the top floor, in what appeared to be a loft, or converted old attic. The roof was steeply pitched with skylights offering more natural light than just the windows.

More than a dozen bookshelves burst with multicolored, worn paperbacks and gorgeous hardbacks. Ancient Egyptian artifacts, maps and souvenirs littered his cluttered desk and shelves. And in the middle of it all sat a bright aquarium with three plump goldfish.

You felt as if you stepped through a portal into another world. How could this place be in your building?

"Steven, your place is..."

"Bit of a mess, yeah? Sorry. Who's the biggest hoarder around? Me." He blushed, pointing to himself.

"No, it's wonderful. It's so different than my flat. It's like an old library."

He smiled, emboldened by your compliment. "You like to read?"

"Not this much, but yes. I do. I like the skylights." You locked eyes with him. "It's really soothing here." Reaching for his arm, you squeezed gently. "Thank you for helping me."

"Anytime." The crinkles around his warm eyes reminded you of Jake. It occured to you then, that Jake had also reminded you of Steven.

"Cuppa tea?" He asked, nodding toward the kitchen.

"Sure," you shrugged, following him. "I'll help."

The two of you worked quietly for a moment, when you asked him if he had a brother.

He swallowed hard. "I did...long time ago. He passed away."

"Oh shit, I'm so sorry, Steven." God, what an idiot you were. "I just...you reminded me of someone and I just thought, maybe... I'm really sorry."

"'Salright. You didn't know."

The two of you prepped the tea, boiling the kettle before steeping the leaves.

"This is his jacket, actually," you finally continued. "I forgot to give it back to him after he gave me a cab ride. Or...Uber, actually. He uses a vintage cab as his Uber car."

Steven almost dropped the cup and saucer he was holding. "That so?"

"Yeah, he helped me last night. Like I said, I forgot to give him back his jacket. He was kind, and when he smiled...he reminded me of you."

"O-of me?" Steven cleared his throat.

"Yeah." You shrugged. "Anyway, I'm sorry about the brother thing, but I just wondered. He had like this 1980s mustache though."

Steven, who had just brought a sip of tea to his lips spat it right back into his teacup, coughing a few times. "You're not serious. A silly little tache?"

You giggled. "Yes. I told him it was dashing. He wore it well. But he reminded me of you somehow. American lad though. Thick accent."

"Mmm," Steven nodded, cleaning up the mess he'd made. "I'm happy Jake was able to help you."

Your eyes went wide. "I didn't tell you his name."

Steven's mouth dropped open. "Right. I actually know him. Flat cap? Mustache?" He pointed at you. "Leather jacket, cab?"

"Oh," you gasped, smiling. "Don't you think you guys could be related?"

Pressing his lips together, Steven answered diplomatically. "Never really thought about it exactly like that, but...yes, I suppose so."

He paused for a moment before growing more serious. "So what's going on with your boyfriend? Or, ex-boyfriend, I hope."

"Yes, definitely," you assured him, attempting to explain what you'd gone through lately and how you suspected your boyfriend of working for a crime boss of some sort.

"As much as I love this flat, I'm even scared for you to live in this shit hole building with him, Steven. I think he's really dangerous."

As if waiting for his cue, your boyfriend pounded on Steven's front door, demanding, in foul language, to be let in.

"Do not open that," you warned him, but it was too late. His hunched shoulders squared up, chiseled jaw clenching. A deep wrinkle appeared between dark eyebrows as the typical twinkle in his eye went cold.

"Steven, no, don't!" You watched in horror as he yanked open the door, grabbed your boyfriend by the collar and dragged him inside. Kicking the door shut with one foot, he slammed the taller man against the wall, nostrils flaring as his eyes flashed.

Your boyfriend shouted an insulting protest, but with one, precise jab to his throat, he was rendered speechless and left gasping for air.

"Listen to me, asshole," Steven spat, but his voice sounded entirely different. It came out as a growl. And...American.

It couldn't be. Jake? But it didn't sound like him either.

"You're never touching anyone again," he went on, menacingly. “You're never coming back here again. You're moving out. Right now." He pointed to you with one hand. "Lose their number."

Your boyfriend raged, struggling against Steven's powerful, one-handed grip, but he still couldn't speak.

"You think your boss will protect you?" He taunted. "Your boss is a pussy. He's already dead. And you're next." Roughly releasing him, he motioned him out the door condescendingly. "Better run."

With a hopeless glance your way, he was gone.

Steven's head dropped as he waited for your reaction.

You finally whispered his name, inching closer. "Are you American? I don't understand."

Finally meeting your eyes, he answered, "I'm Marc. I'll let Steven explain."

Shoulders hunched and hands drawn to his chest, Steven came back to you, fidgeting uncertainly. "Bit of a long story. Want that tea now?"

Then he explained how you'd spent the entire night with one man, occasionally fielding questions like, "wait, you're the white mummy man?" And, "wait...you're Jake?"

Steven laughed sheepishly. "In a manner of speaking."

"Oh good, I can give you your jacket back. Wait - where's your mustache?"

The thought of Jake wearing a fake mustache was so hilariously endearing to you.

Steven let you take a nap on his couch and use his washroom to freshen up. Later, he ordered takeaway for an early supper. The two of you talked, trying to come up with plan to help you move on with your life.

"I know this is weird to say at a time like this, but...I've always had a little bit of a crush on you."

"On me?" Steven almost choked on his food. "I never knew."

"It's stupid, really. Just ignore me."

"Not at all. But can I ask you a question? Why did you stay with that plonker?"

You shrugged helplessly, shaking your head. "I guess I never knew there was anything better."

Angstember Masterlist || Moon Knight Masterlist || Main Masterlist

[gooppoo]

jake realize he has a size kink when you’re sat on his lap to aid his wounds and realize how you’re so small compared to him 🤲🏽

size kink is an instant soother for my underlying mental illnesses, thank you.

You're so big!

Requests Closed!!

mdni.

warnings: size kink duh, Jake being a lil pervy, tbh...you're being a tease lmao, injury

"Can you promise not to do this again?"

You were perched atop Jake's sizable thighs, massaging some healing ointment into the scrapes on his handsome face. His ears would flick every time your finger tips ran across the wounds, but he tried his hardest not to vocalize his discomfort.

Not only was he trying his hardest to not let his weakness known, he was also desperately trying to avoid provoking the stiffness involuntarily building so close to your groin.

"Jake?" You met his stern gaze, "Promise?"

He met your request with only a hum.

Satisfied enough (with a scowl of course) you returned to treating him. Sometimes you'd have to maneuver in place to reach different areas of his face, and each time Jake couldn't help but notice something else about you that flamed his groin.

The daintiness of your fingers, the harsh contrast of his muscular thighs compared to your softer ones, even the slimness of your expression. It was no debate: you were just tinier.

And this drove Jake nuts. He'd love to display his power by tossing you from position to position, stuffing his length into your delicate center - just knowing it very well could be too big. There was something about your differences that awakened a sex-fueled curiosity, fully expressing itself through his attentive, wide stare.

"Are you alright? Am I being too rough?" The shift in his gaze was not unnoticed. It took more self-control than he wanted to admit to not flash a quick glance down to his half-hard dick.

"Fine, am I done?"

You scoffed, "Yeah right, you have a few cuts I need to stitch."

Jake swore to himself on the inside, and continued to wish away the collection of rushing blood below his loincloth.

You leapt off his lap and sauntered over to a table that had prepared the items for sutures. All the while, you had a pair of wandering eyes observing your every, elegant move. Returning back to Jake, you took back your place on his lap and mindlessly straddled his thigh. Now your true size comparison was obvious.

"Ready?" The needle was next to his skin, he hummed in confirmation.

When he felt the tool pierce his skin he hissed. Jake had gotten stitches before, it was nothing new, but this was part of a ploy to entertain what he was almost sure was his undiscovered size kink. Almost in the same instant, his hand grasped around your wrist and held it still.

His fingers completely circled around your joint. More excitement rushed between his thighs.

"Jake..." your eyes were doe-like, cheeks flushed. Everything about you flashed in Jake's mind in a much different context.

He cleared his throat, "Just take it easy." Disappointed in the departure, he hesitated to let your frail wrist continue its work without his grip.

The stinging on his face distracted him some from his hard-on, and all seemed to be going smoothly. But he noticed something...

It must've been completely unintentional, just your natural flow of movement. Nonetheless, every time you tugged at the suture, your hips shifted forward and back in a rolling motion. Along his much bigger thigh.

"God..." Jake sighed, unaware his curse could double as an outlet for his painful procedure.

"I know, we are almost done." You soothed.

Once more you shuffled and this time further up his leg so your chests dusted against one another. Here, Jake noticed, the comparable size in your torso's and shoulders. He was broad, and more lengthy, whereas you were slim and petite. This crossed his mind and his jaw began to hang.

How he wanted to grab you up then and there to put this whole 'size thing' to the test.

[kaiserposting]

Michael Kaiser, Alexis Ness — Dick Measuring

PAIRING: Michael Kaiser/Reader/Alexis Ness WORD COUNT: 0.8k TYPE: Humor, Drabble WARNING(S): This is literall y just one giant dick joke help NOTE: If you wanna see the rest of the horrible not-polycule series it's at the bottom of the masterlist

While scrolling through your phone at a ferocious speed with a manic grin, you turn to Ness and announce, “Look, over 500 thousand tweets mentioning my name. The viewers are all up on my cock now.”

He glances at you in disdain, which is hard to pull off with his cutesy face. Somehow he manages it though each time you two converse. In a judgemental tone, he asks, “Are you seriously name searching yourself?” Sure, he knows Kaiser does it too, but you’re not Kaiser so that shit doesn’t fly.

“Yeah. Check it out, someone made a compilation of me owning Kaiser. With filters.” You flash the screen at them both to show it off.

Kaiser spares it a dismissive glance, mind lost somewhere else.

“Give me that,” says Ness. Then he grabs the device out of your grasp and squints at the screen, memorizing the username.

“Don’t tell me you’ll mass report their account for that?”

“I won’t,” he lies, smiling at you before giving you back your phone as if he didn’t snatch it away in the first place.

“You’re doing full splits on it. Like, you could be, like, a gymnast.”

“W-Well, so what?! There’s nothing wrong with that.”

“So they’re all up on your cock huh?” Kaiser asks. The smug expression he’s making right now, you get the inkling he’s about to say something terrible. And he delivers as per your expectation: “I bet mine’s bigger.”

You raise a skeptical eyebrow at that, this judgmental expression on your face.

Ness nods, still seeming pleasant. “It probably is.”

“Bragging on another man’s dick size is crazy.”

“It’s not crazy! I’m speaking realistically.”

“Well,” says Kaiser, annoyed at having to wrestle with Ness for your attention all the time when Ness is supposed to be helping him score you, “there’s only one way to find out. We should both get naked and check.”

Your stare switches from unimpressed to blank. Vacant of any signs of life. Even Ness scrunches his eyebrows and appears slightly aghast at the suggestion, which is how you know it’s egregious for sure. Wow, this has to be his most desperate attempt at flirting to date. What’s making it worse is the fact that he’s not even reacting to your collective puzzlement with the whole thing.

Once you regain enough sense to respond, you say, “Thanks, but no thanks. You know I’m not interested in the small things in life, Kaiser.”

This also snaps Ness out of his trance as he is now offended, though he graciously spares you of any further embarrassing commentary, settling for glaring.

“Wanna compare just to make sure?”

Your lips quirk up. “Here’s my list of things I’ll never let near my nether regions: police officers, male photographers, multi level marketers, politicians, Michael Kaiser.”

“Aww, why? You’re no fun,” Kaiser coos at you mockingly.

“I bet you have the funniest penis ever.”

“No, he doesn’t!” Ness interjects while Kaiser merely tilts his head to the side, awaiting elaboration on this statement.

“Like you were probably uncircumcised when you were little and then you grew up and got a circumcision for aesthetic purposes or something else hilarious like that,” you say.

“What?” He crosses his arms and scoffs at the notion. “Ok now I’m convinced you’re just stupid. What a hauntingly dimwitted concept to come up with.” Then he smirks at you again, straightening his back and raising his eyebrows. “But, again, if you wanna make sure that there’s nothing wrong with it, the offer still stands.”

“Listen here. If you say anything along these lines to me ever again, something’s gonna happen.”

“Oh really?” Kaiser gets all up in your face. He remains amused. “And what’s going to happen?”

“I’ll send you to where Shinzo Abe is.”

He blinks at you for a second while Ness is mumbling incomprehensible threats in the background. Then he smiles at you before leaning back to a more socially appropriate distance. “Alright, I admit, I appreciate this one out of all your little retorts.”

“I think you love any words I waste on you. Attention whore. Anyway, I’ll go work out in one of the training rooms with the cameras for fanservice, so I’m leaving.” You pass by Kaiser and stop in front of Ness, puckering your lips in an exaggerated manner, blowing him a kiss. “Bye bye, Ness.”

He blushes and crosses his arms while pouting, pretending he totally didn’t enjoy that as you walk off. Kaiser gives him a scornful look.

Ness remembers the whole conversation which ensued. “I’m sure it’s big and nice,” he reassures rather clinically, the way one would share an interesting fact. It doesn't occur to him what an odd remark he’s making.

“Thanks. You always know the right things to say.” Kaiser pats Ness gently on the head like the dog slash servant he is, perhaps to encourage the behavior through positive reinforcement. He basks in the feeling, warm, and almost forgets about the context of this action. But because Ness can’t have anything good ever, after a while Kaiser adds, “I wish someone I was actually into would talk to me like you do too though.”

___

Yea I haven't slept in 5 days again how can yo utell

[obsessedwrhys]

𝘐'𝘓𝘓 𝘞𝘈𝘐𝘛 𝘍𝘖𝘙 𝘠𝘖𝘜𝘙 𝘓𝘖𝘝𝘌 𝘐𝘕 𝘈𝘕𝘖𝘛𝘏𝘌𝘙 𝘓𝘐𝘍𝘌

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 .ᐟ angst, death, cursing, no happy ending, reader is female (shes for the girls 😼💪)!! Tommy is sort of replaced by reader in some scenarios. Did no proof read this again (im lazy)!!

ᯓ★

From as long as you knew, the two of you were inseparable, having knowing each other for almost 6 years. When Marlene needed some smugglers to smuggle Ellie out of the city, you happened to be one of the three and that's how you guys first met. However, on the journey of finding the Fireflies, it seemed to be full of surprises.

Just when you thought it was the end, more just show up to throw you off guard.

Going from Ellie's lame dad jokes to having to look after her when Joel was in no condition to do anything. You barely had the chance to catch your breath. In a way you were like the older sister since you were one year bigger than her. That's why when it was revealed the doctors needed to kill her to create a vaccine, you were game with the idea of massacring the whole hospital.

After escaping from the Fireflies, in a way, it's like you guys were able to build a new life at Jacksons.

As you two grew older, you found yourself developing feelings for her. You hated yourself for letting it happen but at the same you couldn't stop the crush from growing.

The more time you spent with her, the more you start to notice the little details about her.

How she bites her lips when she's shy.

How she'll look away when she receives a compliment.

How she would share her collection of cards with just you.

... and the way her eyes seem to always sparkle when she spots you amongst the crowd.

All these things just made you fall for her harder. But even in this new lifestyle, it still seemed to come with a box of surprises.

You were in your own house, inside the kitchen preparing a cup of coffee for yourself. It was almost the evening but you couldn't deny your needs. Before you could even take a sip, your front door was slammed open and you turned to see who it was. Your cup still in hand.

To your surprise, you came face to face with an angry expresson on Ellie. However there was more to it, she looked upset, betrayed. That was when you heard a voice telling you inside your head that she must have found out about the truth you and Joel agreed to keep from her.

"You fucking knew" She said. A blank expression remained on your face as you took a sip of your coffee, still trying to maintain your image at this time.

"I don't know what you're talking about" You gently place your coffee on the kitchen counter. Your words having her scoff out of disbelief.

"Don't play dumb with me! I'm not a fucking kid anymore!" She took a few steps closer.

You let out a sigh as your eyes trailed off to the window, looking at the outside. Your lack of response just pissing her off even more. Suddenly, she rushed forward and grabbed you by the shirt. Her actions getting your attention instantly.

"Look at me!" She shouted.

"Look at me and tell me!"

"Tell you what? That I killed all those people for you? That I saved you from those doctors? Is that what you want to hear?!" You raised your voice.

It was the first time she ever see you this angry and this was the first time you see her direct her anger at you. She glares at you before letting go of you, shoving you slightly against the kitchen counter which made several of the kitchenware dangle on the rack.

"How could you...?" She said, her expression now full of hurt.

"It doesn't matter anymore. It already happened. Ellie, this is your life now..." You took a step forward but she ended up taking a step back.

"My life could have meant something"

"Your life would have ended that day! Fuck... listen... Ellie... there was no way that vaccine was gonna work anyways. They were just basing it off a bunch theories. You have to understand" You said but it didn't change her mind even in the slightest. Within seconds, the hatred returned back on her face as she looks at you.

"I never wanna see you again" She said and before you could say anything else, she stormed out the house and left you all alone to your thoughts.

You sigh as you ruffle through your hair out of frustration. How could this happen? How did she find out? Did Joel tell her? Fuck... you rest both your hands on the counter top. Your cup of coffee already growing cold.

Just when you thought your life was hell, a bunch of people from somewhere had ambushed you and Joel when you guys were out on patrol.

The blonde girl you had thought was just another survivor being the one smashing his head open with a golf club and you couldn't do anything as you were knocked out. It was Ellie's cries that had awoken you moments later.

Your eyes fluttered open to be met with the sight of Ellie holding Joel close to her chest, tears streaming down her face while her clothes were dirtied with his blood. She was clinging to him like she was hoping being closer to him would bring him back. But it never happened. During his funeral, you couldn't even show up. The guilt was killing you.

You could have stopped it...

Why didn't you stop it?

Restless nights drove you insane. Apart from the checkups from Tommy, you felt like you were truly alone. You hadn't think this feeling would come to haunt you again after moving to Jacksons. Which led to your rational decision to set out on your way of finding the blonde girl behind this. Nothing but a note left on the kitchen table just for anyone who happens to look for you.

It was hard, you didn't only have the infected to deal with but also a cult. You survived and work your way closer to the location marked on your map.

But in the end, all of it didn't matter because when you finally came close to getting your revenge, you blew it, the girl's physique was larger compared to yours so she easily won over the duel and knocked you into the ocean. It was a miracle you made it to shore.

You felt numb.

Your ears ringing.

In a way you felt that you had failed Ellie.

Because you knew you were never gonna be the girl she looks up to anymore.

You will forever be known as the girl that broke her trust.

The girl she hates.

God sometimes it feels like no matter how hard you try it was never enough...

With your back on the sand, you couldn't help but chuckle a bit. It was silly but you always thought that maybe you'd have a chance with her. What a world would that be?

"(Y/N)?"

You look over your head to see Jesse standing there, your perspective upside down as he rushes over to you. Once he was sure you were okay, he started to fill you in with the things that happened after you left.

As it turns out Ellie had also set out for the same exact goal.

After you were gone, she was confronted by Tommy in hopes she knew where you were headed. To his surprise, she had no clue since the last time you guys spoke was the argument in your house.

Despite the fact that part of her journey was for seeking revenge, she was also worried for you. She had to admit. She was scared. After losing Joel, she didn't want to lose you too. However in the end when she had to choose between finding the girl behind the death of Joel and finding you, she had picked the first one.

Luckily, Jesse was able to take you to where Ellie was at. When you rushed in the aquarium, you found her hunched over and vomiting. Close-by there were two dead bodies, one of them being a pregnant woman. Almost like it was an instinct, you quickly moved to where Ellie was. A hand placed on her back and the other her shoulder.

"Hey... Ellie... its me..." You said, your tone gentle. The sight of you somehow made her relax a bit.

"I...I just... oh god... I didn't mean to..." Her eyes constantly glancing over at the body of the pregnant woman as she stutters but you quickly grab her by the side of her face before she could again.

"It doesn't matter... we have to go..." You told her but she was still hyperventilating. With your arm around her, you ended up dragging her away from the place.

Eventually on the way to the theater they were using as hideout, you guys decided to rest for a while and set up a small camp inside an abandoned book store. Jesse took notice that you two needed time alone and volunteered to keep watch somewhere else. There was tension in the air but you tried to ignore it by making sure the fire didn't die.

"You shouldn't have left without me" Ellie blurted out and you chose to put aside the twig to focus on the conversation.

"You said you didn't want to see me again... so I didn't" You said. The sounds of the fire crackling filling up the quiet night.

You were curious at her silence.

Is she thinking right now?

Did you just piss her off even more?

"You're right" She got up and suddenly began walking over to the other side of the room. You didn't say anything but just watch her rest at the corner before looking back at the fire.

Great job, you fucked up again.

The next morning, you guys continued on your way to the theater while also looking for some supplies inside the buildings nearby. You ended up checking on a small convenience store by yourself while Ellie and Jesse tried to get in the huge supermarket. You walked down the aisle and was able to find several snacks still edible. Then you saw a door.

Staffs Only.

That room has to be crawling with supplies. You twist open the doorknob and began exploring inside, checking every lockers to find it rich with medicines and bandages. It's a miracle this place wasn't looted by that cult.

After your bag was filled to the brim, you started to head out but the second you take a step forward, something grabbed you by the foot which made you fall on your face.

You grunt when you felt a sharp pain on your ankle. You looked down and to your horror you found it was an infected grabbing onto you, the bottom half of its body was missing but that didn't matter right now because its grip was already digging deep into your flesh. Quickly, you took out your gun and shot it multiple times in the head until it goes limp.

"Shit..." You sigh as you rest your head on the ground to process the adrenaline, your feet kicking the infected corpse off you.

Sooner or later, you made it to the hideout with the two. You found yourself settled inside a room to rest. Your bag placed against the sofa while you ran your hands across the face. You felt tired. Suddenly when you tried to lift your feet up to lay down, you felt a sharp pain, rolling up your pants you found a bite mark just inches above the bruises.

For a moment, you thought that your heart had stopped beating. Oh shit shit shit shit this can't be real. You can't be infected. Fuck... Your panic was interrupted when there was a knock on the door. You looked up in a panic.

"Hey um... you got a minute?" She asked. It was Ellie.

You were scared and you sure as hell didn't want her to come in so you remained quiet because inside your head, it felt like there was a red alarm sounding off. You've been infected. You could turn in a few hours from now.

"I'm sorry for the other night" She said which had you look at the door, imagining it's her you're looking at.

"I just figured it'd be easier to hate you than to forgive you"

"But after what happened to Joel... I can't let that happen to us too..." You could hear her sigh on the other side.

"It'll take some time for me to forgive you for what you did but... I'm willing to try... we can start over" She said.

Damn it... this moment could have been perfect... this was everything you had hoped for but at the same time, you knew you weren't going to make it out of this room alive. No matter what you do or say, it won't matter.

"I understand if you're still mad at me. I just hope that you'll also try" You quickly looked away while trying to wipe the tears from your face.

"Maybe after this we can try living together? I mean... your house is pretty big so I thought it can be kind of lonely sometimes. We can keep each other company... start a farm maybe..." She said and you could sense she was smiling a bit from her tone.

You felt your chest hurt. Is the infection spreading already? You can feel your teeth loosening like they'll fall off. Your silence had Ellie take the hint you wanted to be alone which had her smile faltered a bit.

"Look... You're still my best friend and I still care about you so I'm sorry for always making you feel like shit. You know I love you right?" She said and you closed your eyes in hopes of stopping the tears from pouring out.

"I love you too" You mouthed the words but you couldn't bring yourself to say it because even if you did, she'll never be able to understand how you truly felt about her.

"Just promise me you won't do anything stupid again. I can't afford to lose you..."

You clear your throat, feeling it go painfully sore. How could you keep a promise like that? Just then you could hear her walk away with the sound of her footsteps growing faint.

The second you were sure you were now left alone, you hurried to your feet to look at yourself in the mirror. You panicked. Why does this have to happen?

Why did it have to be you?

You pull on your hair out of frustration but then you felt several strands of it easily ripped out just from your grip. Your eyes widened as you felt like your heart was beating from your ears.

You were worried about what Ellie would think.

She just lost Joel... now she's gonna lose you...

Fuck fuck fuck...

You sobbed almost pathetically to yourself. Not because you knew your life was over but you knew what you had to do.

It's the only thing you can do right now.

You went over to your bag and took out your gun. Maybe... shooting yourself instead of letting yourself turn could be less painful. You'd do everyone a favour.

You took a deep breath as you slowly start to point it at your head. Fuck you were actually gonna do it now.

Tears welling up in your eyes once again as snot filled your nose. You had so many regrets... so many things you never got to try.

Maybe in another life, an outbreak never happened. Maybe you and Ellie would still meet in that world. You guys could have gone to college together, maybe have coffee dates or staying up late together to have deep conversations like you two always did. You closed your eyes and let out a long shaky breath.

Maybe you guys could have been in love.

BANG

Your body falls on the ground like a sack of rice. All of your senses drowned out by the heavy smell of blood. As your body slowly started to die, you could hear the sound of the door being slammed open. A figure running over to your side to pick you up.

"Oh shit... nononono... wake up! You fucking idiot! Why'd you do that?!" Ellie cried as she hold you in her embrace.

"Fuck! Jesse! Get the med kit!" Ellie shouted but the light in your eyes were slowly dimming.

"No don't you fucking leave me! Not you too! (Y/N)!"

Her voice was now gone. It was quiet and hauntingly in a way it felt comforting. Almost like all of your problems were washed away.

There was no more surprises you had to worry about.

You could rest now.

[seat-safety-switch]

I love my fireworks, say all my neighbours as they cram a flimsy plastic tube full of low-yield explosives. Surely everyone in my community will also appreciate them. If not, they are some kind of Grumpy Gus and are not invited to the block party cookout. Friends, I can tell you this right now: I am not going to that barbecue.

As you might have imagined, the residents of my area of the world like to shoot off a bunch of Roman candles when they feel like it. Sure, fireworks are fun and all, but I feel like if you're burning three or four hundred dollars worth of illegal noise-and-light generators every couple of weeks, you might as well just take up smoking again.

At first, it was a lot of fun. Very festive. It helped the community spirit, even if all the dogs were constantly terrified and kept trying to chew through a fence to escape. Ol' Ray down the block lost a finger trying to grab onto what he called a "Winky Sprinkler," though, and then everything changed.

Once there was a scent of blood in the air, it became a competition. Ray needed to "make it worth" his sacrifice, so he started amping up his production. Bigger shows. Coordinated by electronics. More frequently. This drew the ire of another rich asshole (Bob Winsome, who used to own the Ford dealership) with poor impulse disorder, and soon the two of them were getting up to a night-time artillery show that the police were not equipped to stop, mostly because they were at the doughnut store or trying to knock over a casino for some quick cash in the retirement fund at the time.

Nearly every night became a terror of pop-pop-pop. although I am very good at ignoring troublesome noises, those noises are usually generated by my own car while I'm driving them. Not constantly happening while I'm trying to focus on my usual problems: things like "why is this bolt stripped," and "where did this pile of wires I just cut through go to?"

As the Constitution says, though: "fuck 'em if they can't take a joke." After one particularly rough night of having exploding munitions going off directly over my head while I was trying to find the origin of some faint valve clatter, I decided to respond in kind. A friend of mine, who will be called Millie Teri for reasons that are about to become clear, loaned me a couple pieces from her private collection. I had myself a patriotic parade that night. Courtesy, of course, of some army bases didn't really pay too close attention to what they listed on eBay. That's what they call "taxpayer value," even if I did have to technically buy the low-shrapnel M107 flash shells twice.

I had expected to draw a truce after demonstrating my superior firepower, much like how French tourists can shut down any discussion of cheese. After bombarding both rich pricks' homes, however, it soon became apparent that the dickheads blamed each other for the massive destruction wrought on their properties, and refused to believe that a belligerent third party could have done such a thing to them just for "several months of sleepless nights courtesy of constant 120dB outside noise."

After the mutually-assured destruction finished, though, I never saw or heard another fireworks display from Ol' Ray or Bob Winsome. If they ever find an identifiable chunk of either of their bodies, we'll probably have a pretty cool tribute at the funeral using up whatever unexploded fireworks they have still left in the scorched remnants of their family homes.

[maybe-moonchild]

CHAPTER 1

summary: In which a spilt drink leads to a very awkward reunion and a drunken piece of pizza. WC: 6.3k ﾟ ⋆ ﾟ ☂︎ ⋆ ﾟ

The surface of the bar is tacky under your forearms from spilled beer and mixed drinks. You lean up against the surface as others bump into your back, half listening to Aaron's non-stop rambling about the job his uncle set him up at. His company was fine- one of Flash's basketball buddies from high school remembered for being obnoxious in your junior english class. You're barely paying attention and more preoccupied with trying to get the bartender's attention. At least then you would be able to escape the sweaty bodies pressed against your back.

Lazy Dog Saloon, a divey place nestled in Hell's Kitchen, had become Midtown high. Most of the class of 2014 had graduated from their prospective 4 year undergrad programs last week. Some returned to New York for a mini vacation before they began the next chapter in their lives while some had never left at all.

You were part of the second group.

NYU seemed like a safe choice at the time your college applications were due. The program you wanted was there and you knew that it was close enough to Queens that you felt like you'd gotten away, but not far enough that you felt like you were on the other side of the country.

Aaron continues to drone on, the sound of his voice fading with the sound of the eighties song playing over the speakers. Your shoulders sag in relief when the bartender sits down your vodka soda in front of you, sticking a dried out lime on the rim. He takes the $8 in cash you hold out to him and mumble out a thanks but he is already moving to the next person. Not that you care. You had your prize in hand and could finally return to your friends drunkenly lounging in their booth.

That was until Aarons animated hand gestures sent your drink out of your hand down the front of the shirt of the guy beside you.

"Fuck! I am so sorry," you rush out, half turning to reach over Aaron and grab a few flimsy paper napkins. You also shoot Aaron the dirtiest look you can muster at which he grimaces. "I feel horrible- god. I am so-"

Had there not been a steady stream of booze fluttering through your veins, you could play it a lot cooler than you do. Thankfully, Peter Parker isn’t able to play it much cooler either. The second your eyes met his big brown ones, they manage to somehow get bigger, his eyebrows rising towards his hairline before his lips thinned in distaste.

“... sorry…” The word comes out as a breath while his presence seems to be the only thing that you can be aware of. It’s like the sight of him is screaming inside your head.

Peter’s heart throws itself for a loop before dropping down into his stomach. He knows that voice all too well and he hates how much he still yearns to hear it again.

We both seemed to collect ourselves at the same time; he clears his throat while you look down at the spot on his shirt where the gray fabric is dark. With a shake of his head, he waives away your apology with his hand. “Don't- it’s fine, it’s fine.” He tries to mutter the words with a smile that barely classifies as anything more than a wince. “I don’t even like this shirt anyway.”

You can’t seem to get yourself to move. Not even when he gently slips the napkins out of your clenched fists so he can try and clean himself up. That, in turn, just makes you feel worse, but then again, maybe he just doesn’t want you to touch him.

Not after our six years of friendship fizzled out like a burning candle that finally reached the end of its wick.

“Nice one,” Aaron chuckles near your ear, his elbow nudging your arm teasingly. This was not the time for jokes. Not when it felt like I was staring at a ghost. The ghost of someone very much alive. Giving the red head a shove and a scowl, you hiss at him under your breath to shut up before turning back to Peter.

“I am so sorry. Seriously. This was all my fault. I… can I help?” You're clearly apologetic. It’s clear from the concern in your voice and the embarrassed look on your face.

Peter’s eyes find the ceiling so quickly that you can’t tell if the pink on his face is real or just a hallucination from the tequila shot Flash had forced on you earlier. You could’ve sworn you’d forgotten what he sounded like over the past four years. After hearing it again, your memories come flooding back all at once. Except this isn’t a memory. This is real. Peter Parker is standing right there as he wipes at his shirt. Gone is the gangly kid with perpetual untamable hair and skinned elbows from nose diving off his skateboard and in his place is someone he gracefully grew into.

“Seriously. It’s fine. It was an accident.” His hand waves awkwardly again as he drops the napkins into the trash. The smile he gives you is strained and brief but he tries anyway so he can drop the conversation. “No, it’s really alright. I think those did the trick. This shirt has gone through worse.”

You are sure you look as pathetic as you feel. Eyes wide and brow furrowed enough that the crease between them could’ve been a damn canyon. Once upon a time, you knew him better than you knew yourself. Once upon a time, the two of you could have stayed quiet for hours and still known exactly what the other was thinking.

Now? At least you knew that him saying it was fine was a load of garbage.

“Are you sure? I can ask the bartender for a towel? Or-”

He knows that look. It was the same damn look you always used to give him when you felt really bad about something. It would settle on your face when you were going to do any stupid thing you could to try and fix it.

“I’m sure,” he interjects in the hopes that you believe him- or at least pretend to. That you will just let it go, return back to Katie and Flash so you can tell them you dumped your drink on him. The three of you could laugh it up like you did in high school.

“It’s fine. I promise. Just…” he takes a deep breath and glances down at his wet shirt before finally glancing up at your face. He tries to think of something to say. At that moment, the bartender decides to drop the beer he had ordered earlier onto the counter. Peter mutters a thanks, grabbing it in one hand while digging for cash that's shoved in his front pocket to exchange it.

Before you can get another word out, he sighs, “Really. It’s fine. I can deal with it.” Peter's words are short and almost sharp. It was nothing different than how things had been between the two of you for the past eight years.

You open your mouth to protest but he is already slipping through the crowd. Drunk patrons fill the empty space within seconds so they can raise their blood alcohol content. Aaron tries to laugh it off, clapping you on the shoulder while you’re too busy staring at the back of Peter’s head disappearing around the corner.

There are two roads or whatever bullshit.

You blame it on the booze. The white claw you had sipped when you and Katie had gotten ready was the reason that you’d shrugged off Aarons hand. The extremely potent and barely drinkable margarita Flash made you at the pregame was the reason you started to slip through the crowd after him. The reason you burst through the doors of the boys bathroom without a second thought was- okay, so maybe it was also just who you were.

“Please. Let me do something to fix this,” you urge, ignoring the strange look from the man slipping around you to exit the bathroom. You also ignore the shocked look Peter gives your reflection of the dirty mirror in front of him.

“Nuh uh. No.” He practically gasps, spinning around and yanking out paper towels to hurriedly dry his hands. He has to get you out of here before you get yourself thrown out of the freaking bar.

You shoot him a look. You will stay in this bathroom all night if that was what it took… to fix… his shirt.

“Grow up Parker, it’s a boy’s bathroom. There are stalls. I’m not even crawling under one!” Your hands move as you speak while his hands find your shoulders. His touch is gentle but his face is panicked. You don’t stop him from spinning you around, guiding you out the door even when you turn your head back so you can face him.

“Look. I just want to make sure I didn’t ruin your night because I feel like a total asshole. It was an accident and now I feel your night is ruined because you're all damp and smelling like vodka.” Peter focuses on maneuvering you through the crowd. He doesn’t have the heart (or the guts) to admit that his shirt being soaked with vodka is the least of his concerns. It is *how* it got soaked in the first place. That was the real issue.

No. The real issue was you. Your presence. The fact he had to touch you right now as he manages to avoid letting anyone collide with you since you are too focused on rambling.

“Okay, you didn’t ruin my night.” The words are practically a groan of exasperation in the hopes you will just drop this. That you will just return to your cool friends and you could all go and laugh at how uncool he is.

“No?” You ask flatly, your eyebrow rising in skepticism as you try to twist around to look at him better over your shoulder. He is more concerned with keeping any drunk people from slamming into me or vice versa. “Because I feel like I did. I feel like I definitely ruined your night and you’re just telling me that I didn’t, just so I drop it and I don't let it eat away at my brain for the rest of my life.”

Because it will. I will certainly lose sleep over it.

Peter can feel his heart race as he listens to you. He has to bite his tongue to keep himself from screaming that you’d ruined his life, not his night.

”Just-“ he grumbles, rolling his eyes as he guides you around another group of drunks dancing against the wall. Never has he been more thankful for the fabric of your dress to keep his skin from yours. Even with the buffer, he feels like he is burning alive. He wishes he didn’t care that you were upset at the prospect of him being upset.

Afterall, you probably haven’t spared him a second though since high school graduation.

Not in the way he has thought about you.

Even though it’s mid-May, the nights lack the warmth that the days hold. The cool air feels good on your flushed cheeks. The alley is quiet, tucked between the bar and a closed up nail salon seated next door and the space is filled with the muffled hum of liquor filled banter.

You manage to twist around and plant yourself in front of him. He drops his hold on you but meets your wide and earnest eyes.

“Peter, all I’m saying is that I want to make it better. Yeah, I know,” you throw up your hands, letting their movements animate your words. “Yes, I’m aware that vodka sodas are only moderately pungent. And -yes. It wasn’t even that much- but still! I feel bad. Really bad. There has to be something I can do to make it right.”

Peter can feel his heart picking up again, his brain desperately trying to comprehend that after all these years - after *six years*, you were in front of him, telling him that you feel bad?

He can’t help but shake his head before quickly interjecting. “You don’t-” with a huff, he presses his palms against his face, like it will give him a moment to try and think clearly. They move up to his hair, shoving it off his forehead as he finally forces himself to actually look down at you. His voice is low and tired. “You don’t have to do anything about it. I promise. It was an accident, alright? Besides, I don’t even like that shirt that much.”

That’s a lie. It is his favorite shirt.

No one says anything for a long moment. You’re too busy studying his face for what is actually going on inside his head. He is too busy trying to force himself not to look away. Too many things hang in the foot of space between your bodies. You either can’t find, or can’t find the courage to pluck something out of the air and say something of substance.

Something that matters.

So your face softens and you opt for the cowards approach.

“You okay?”

A muscle in his jaw tenses which makes his expression look more grim. “I’m fine,” he grumbles, looking away to stare at a broken bottle, not wanting to hold your gaze anymore. He’d spent the past eight years pretending that the you-sized hole in his life had been filled with things like Spider-Man, The Bugle and his Bio-Physics degree he’d obtained last week. But now that you’re standing right here, it felt like it was somehow bigger.

Just like that, you realize that, even if he had been the one to guide the two of you out here, away from prying eyes and drunk chatter, it was your doing. You might well have been the one to drag him out the door by his hair. Your face falls when you realize he likely did it because he doesn’t think you’d want to be seen talking to him in public.

You frown at the floor and wrap your arms around yourself like you’re just trying to keep out the cool air.

“Sorry,” you murmur. It’s the best thing you can think to say. Peter looks at you, peeking up and taking notice of the little movements and gestures you make to try and smooth over the awkwardness. It reminds him of high school. Back in the middle of freshman year when you started on the edge of the circle of cheerleaders, working up the courage to belong before you eventually found yourself in the center senior year.

“It’s fine,” he says halfheartedly. In reality, it’s not fine, far from it, but… His hands curl and uncurl into fists at his side, trying to suppress the urge to reach for you.

“No, it's not.”

You’re not talking about the spilled drink anymore. You’re not even talking about the dissipation of your friendship at the start of high school. In some way, it all comes down to high school graduation four years ago.

There's a clarity to the loud sounds inside the bar as someone slips out the back door, too preoccupied with trying to light a cigarette as they head towards the street. When the door shuts again, it feels even quieter out here. Peter and you don’t say anything as they pass by and out of sight.

But neither of you return inside either.

“I shouldn’t have done that. That was…” you trail off, eyes finding the sky under pinched brows as you think. “Invasive? Presumptuous? Meddlesome?” A strained laugh falls from your mouth and cuts through the quiet. “Sorry. Vodka seriously inhibits my memory of vocabulary words.”

You don’t expect him to laugh. So when he lets out a snort and shakes his head, you find the courage to actually look at him from the corner of your eye. He’s not smiling but the little quirk of his lip might as well be a shit eating grin with how relieved it makes you feel.

“You’re drunk.” It is neither a question or statement, or both. You can't really tell.

Your nose scrunches up in thought before you settle on, “I would go with tipsy.” The toe of your shoe scuffs against the pavement and he shoves his hands in his front pockets. “I’m not sure how that’s legally determined or if there even is a way to legally determine that but…yeah. Sure. Let's go with tipsy.”

“You’re wasted,” he snorts again, only this time it sounds even more like a laugh than before.

Your mouth drops in mock offense, eyes pulling back towards his own. Something on his face catches in the light and he looks like he could almost glow in the dark but he’s forcing it down.

“Drunk is a strong word. More like… very tipsy.”

“I think we can go with sloshed instead.” Peter raises an eyebrow, his mouth curling upwards with amusement.

The roll of your eyes is dramatic and playful. Before you get the chance to shoot back, a vibrating and painful sound of an alarm from your purse interrupts you. He almost wonders if it’s a phone call, but when you retrieve it, press the screen and check the time, it’s almost relieving. Not that it didn’t interrupt the moment anyway.

“Shit,” you frown before sticking your phone back. “I really gotta get out of here. I told myself I’d be home by 1:30 since I’m meeting my parent’s for brunch.”

You’re leaving? It’s the first thought that crosses his mind and it has him on edge. For the first time in years, the two of you are alone together. Just the two of you, hidden away in an alley and having an actual conversation.

And it’s already over.

“You’re taking the train back now,” he asks with slight concern. His fingers fall from his hair so he can rub at his forehead. You were a New Yorker. Everyone took the subway. You were just a New Yorker that was determined to take the subway alone at 1 am on a Saturday while drunk in a short dress.

A skeptical smile tugs at your mouth. His concern isn’t shocking. He’d always been like that. Cautious and worried about the safety of others. It was why he always got his ass kicked in high school.

It just wasn’t something you experienced in a long time.

“Umm… Yeah?” Shrugging, you retrieve your phone from your purse to shoot off a text to Katie and Flash that you’re heading home. Peter opens his mouth to say something before thinking better of it. It wasn’t that he didn’t think you could handle yourself. The last thing he needed was to piss you off in this one moment of a truce.

“My apartment’s not that far anyway,” you continue as a little thumbs up appears by your text in the group chat. The phone returns to your bag amongst your wallet and lip gloss. He is already looking at you when you lift your head up to look at him.

For a moment, he kind of looks like he is 11 years old again. Like you half expect him to smile and reveal his canine tooth is still growing in. That he’ll give you the same grin through the glass of your bedroom window when the two of you were long supposed to be asleep. How he would invite you to crawl out and to accompany him to the subway because he liked it when you watched him try and skateboard in an empty train. At first, you would always hiss out ‘no’s’ which would only make him whine your name from his spot on the windowsill. Eventually, you’d relent because you always did. Then you would spend breakfast with your parents exhausted and biting down on a smile from sitting on the secret events from the night before.

“Wait, you’re taking the subway alone?” he asks, his eyebrows furrowing even more than they already were before shooting upwards. He steps closer but doesn’t actually invade your space.

Alone, intoxicated, and all the way home… in a short dress…

Your own eyebrows raise in challenge. Even if you try not to look defensive, you can't help the way your arms fold over your chest and you settle back on your hip. You’ve lived in New York as long as he has, which is your entire life.

You could easily take the subway alone. It was something you’d done a million times and you were sure he had done it as much too.

A little bit of alcohol wasn’t enough to stop you and force you to waste money on a cab.

“Yeah…”

“Okay,” he sighs and you relax, both of your shoulders sagging in relief for different reasons. “I’m making sure you get home.” The words slip out and he doesn’t even think to hold them back.

You open your mouth to argue, but he continues speaking, his hands raising in surrender. “I’m sure you do it all the time but, I mean… I just…you’re drunk.”

“Not drunk. Very tipsy,” you mutter under your breath but there's no hint of actually putting up a fight. Considering your options, you look up towards the night sky like you’ll find some sort of argument hidden up amongst the stars. There are no stars. Just heavy looking clouds that hang above Manhattan with the umpteenth threat of rain this week. You don’t find one. Making a face, you know he has a point.

Odds were, you would probably be fine walking the few blocks to the subway and taking it a couple of stops towards your apartment. There was always that chance that you wouldn’t be.

The problem was that your apartment was out of the way. How did you know that? Peter lived with Ned. Ned Leeds, the same Ned Leeds that had been following Katie around from the age of five until now like a love sick puppy that rambled horribly in her presence about every detail of his life. So yes, the fact he and Peter were roommates had come up plenty of times when you and your current roommate bumped into Ned. Just like he had, in excruciating detail, explained exactly where he lived in case Katie ever happened to be in the area.

“You’re just going to tag along all the way to East village… at one in the morning… and then… trek all the way back to your place?” You shake your head. “I can’t ask you to do that.”

“You aren’t asking. I’m offering.”

The prospect of your safety overrides any arguments he could possibly make.

If he stays here and something happens to you, he wouldn’t be able to live with himself.

A guilty expression flashes in his eyes at the thought, that little *what if.* It had been replaying in his head since he got bit by that spider when he was sixteen. How the thought of where you were and what you were doing flashed through his mind anytime there was a large-scale disaster threatening New York. There were a few times it got so bad, he’d had to swing by your apartment- not in a stalker way! Just so he could know you were fine.

Besides, he only knew because your mom told Aunt May, who then mentioned it to him.

When you don’t say anything, he nods towards the mouth of the alley. “Come on.” He’s already walking towards the street, spinning on his heels and walking backwards. “It’s fine. I’ll take a cab home or something quicker than the subway.”

Something quicker than the subway and isn’t a cab? All you can do is snort as you scramble to catch up beside him. Now you just feel worse as you step onto the sidewalk. Not only does he probably resent you for the end of our friendship eight years ago and the… incident four years ago on the night of graduation, now he has to go out of his way so I don’t get murdered walking home.

“Really Pete,” you urge. The nickname falls from your lips like second nature. “It’s okay. I’m good.”

He shakes his head and turns to raise an eyebrow at your statement. You’re not good. Even if you're not stumbling black out drunk, the pink flush on your cheeks and the wide eyes are dead giveaways of your impairment. As much as he wants to hold your hand, to throw an arm over your shoulders like when the both of you were kids, he doesn’t. But he does let his hand hover behind the small of your back as you manage to find the same pace.

“I’d rather not be worried the rest of the weekend. Think of it as satiating my restless mind,” he jokes, giving you a playful look.

It’s much quieter out here and there is space to take a breath. There’s still people mulling around as they make their way home or to the next stop of their Saturday night. No one pays the two of you much attention as your pace slows to a more leisurely one.

“First of all, not drunk. Very tipsy,” you huff. “And second of all…” Peter stretches his arms behind his head while you try to think of a good point aside from the fact that you feel bad.

For a lot of things.

“You’ll be walking alone too at three in the morning!”

“And I can handle that. I’m a big boy, remember?”

There it is. That stupid lopsided grin he’d always shoot you anytime he knew he was wearing you down. When he knew you had already given in but were hoping he would drop it before you caved. You make a face that screams ‘spare me’ and scoff. The dirty look quickly threatens to be a smile and he knows you’re all in now.

“We’ll take the train, I’ll walk you home. We can even grab a slice of pizza. My treat. For old times sake?” With a shake of your head, the sigh you make is answer enough. Your answer is a yes. Just like it always was.

Okay, and maybe it's more than fine and doesn’t feel like that much of a chore.

He takes the opportunity to grab your hand so he can drag you along. The action is like muscle memory and he doesn’t realize he is doing it until you falter. You note that his hands are rougher but that makes sense considering he’s 23 years old and no longer a 14 year old kid. It’s not like you have to admit out loud that you like it. That you’d missed it. So before he can really realize what he’s doing, you commit to it.

“Only if we can take it on the road,” you say pointedly with a look to match. “I meant what I said earlier. I really need to get home so I don’t oversleep and miss brunch. My parent’s will kill me.”

Giving you a tug forward, he snorts, “Then by all means. Let's go.”

The foot traffic around is nothing like a work week morning. No hustling of business men in suits or bustling women in sharp blazers clicking down the sidewalk. The night holds its own excitement now that the weather is survivable without an actual coat and gloves. Summer is approaching and it seems to stir people out of their homes and out later than usual.

Aside from the copious amounts of rain plaguing the past week.

It was nice. Your hands are clasped together so you can keep up and he can make sure he doesn't lose you. At least that’s what the both of you tell yourselves as you settle into the familiar warmth of each other's palms and the sense of comfort they still bring after eight years.

The last time you two had touched was four years ago.

Back when his hands had found themselves tangled in your hair so he could tilt your head back further and-

“How about my treat,” you offer, leaning your head forward to look at the side of his face since he’s a step ahead of you. “Because I’m the one ruining your night.”

Peter just shakes his head and shrugs in hopes to dissolve some of your concern. “Don’t worry about it. My night isn’t ruined. You’re worth it.”

Those words make you stumble, tripping over your own feet like the world was just thrown out of orbit and he doesn’t seem to notice. It’s the last thing you expect him to say. For a moment, you wonder if maybe you were so drunk that you were hallucinating.

But no. He said it.

Your silence makes him squeeze his eyes shut and hold in a curse. It was a stupid thing to say after eight years of distance. Right after grabbing your freaking hand like things were all fine and dandy between you. If he could take it back, he would. Instead, he manages to remain looking unbothered so you wont realize that even just your silence was enough to feel like a punch to the gut.

“As long as you’re sure,” you chuckle lamely, looking down to smooth your dress as you reel in your emotions and stand a little straighter; make your movements as sure as yourself as you can pretend to be. Because the truth is, walking with him, having him tug you along and being in his presence is enough to make you sure of absolutely nothing.

Not when you thought he would still hate you for making more friends at the start of high school. Back when you joined cheerleading on a whim and your classmates started to actually see you. Your classmates actually waved at you when you walked through the halls. They would sit by you in class and turn in their seats so you were included in the conversation. Friday nights were spent at football games before the whispers of an after party in the quarterbacks basement were no longer whispers and became actual invitations.

When you didn’t eat, sleep, and breathe Peter Parker like you had as a child. It wasn’t like you had woken up one day and gotten sick of him. You just slowly realized that maybe you could have more than just one person at your side.

“I am so sure,” he reassures, dropping your hold and slowing to a stop in front of a late night pizza shop. “I’m pretty sure I owe you money for something I broke when we were in elementary school. So yeah, I’m sure.” This time when he smiles bashfully back at you, you mirror him. Somehow that makes some of the tenseness traveling between your connected arms start to resolve.

“I am so sure,” he reassures, dropping your hold and slowing to a stop in front of a late night pizza shop. “I’m pretty sure I owe you money for something I broke when we were in elementary school. So yeah, I’m sure.” This time when he smiles bashfully back at you, you mirror him. Somehow that makes some of the tenseness traveling between your connected arms start to resolve.

Peter has spent the last eight years wondering what he did wrong.

Did you just get bored? Were the stories he was telling you just not enough? Did you grow tired of him dragging you into trouble? Was the feel of being seen by the rest of the world more gratifying than his eyes alone?

So many questions without answers.

For eight years they had plagued his mind, kept him up at night and eating at the back of his brain during the day.

The two of you chat in line which is a solid eight drunk people deep. Drunk conversation and the sound of the workers drowns out how easy it is to fall back into joking around. There are stalls in the conversation where neither of you have an immediate response but the recovery is quick enough that there's no suffocating awkward silence.

And it is then that you realize that being in his presence makes you miss him more than you had during the eight years of radio silence. From the way he rocks back and forth on his feet while making sure you order your slice first, you miss him. When you try to pay, he smoothly snatches your wallet out of your hands, not even missing a beat in his conversation with the teenager at the register as he hands him cash.

Once you both receive pizza slices bigger than your heads, grease seeping through the paper plates as you take the long way to the subway entrance.

You happily take a big bite, speaking around a mouthful of dough, cheese, and tomato. “I mean it. You were always horrible at saving money when we were kids.”

He scoffs and rolls his eyes which just makes it harder to chew around the smile straining your lips. There’s really no rush as you walk side by side without paying attention to where you're going. Eventually an entrance to the subway will appear.

“Oh, I’m sorry, what was that? I couldn’t hear you over the sound of you being so, very wrong.” Once he makes sure that there is not a drop of grease on his free hand, he playfully gives your head a shove. You make a sound of protest that quickly turns to one of amusement while trying to smooth your hair.

“I am not and you know it,” you shoot back and he responds with a dramatic waive of his hand. “You would always want ice cream or a comic book. Then you’d try and give me puppy dog eyes and promise you’d pay me back. I always gave in”

And he always paid you back. Eventually. Sometimes all at once or by leaving a crumpled up five in your backpack or taping a ten dollar bill to your window.

“I did not try puppy dog eyes,” he protests with his mouth full, chewing in a hurry so he can swallow. “Plus, I was the one funding all of the trouble we got into. And I was cute. Cut me some slack.”

Never had he been so glad to bail on a night of patrol so Ned could drag him to some dinghy bar just to watch Ned botch attempt number five million and six to woo Katie into falling in love with him.

Once we are finished, you dust the crumbs and grease from your fingertips and toss the plate into the trash. He’s been done for a while and you don't hesitate to grab his own plate and send it following mine into the dumpster.

“That’s because I was always better at saving money. If I hadn’t been, how was I supposed to treat you to snacks?”

Peter snickers, “You were definitely not better at saving your money than me.”

“Was too-”

“Nuh uh,” he cuts you off with a sarcastically smug expression. “Remember when you blew all your lunch money on those gum ball machines. The ones with the little rubber pencil toppers inside? You skipped lunch for over a week in hopes of getting that crab one.”

When he looks over at you and sees how your lips curl in an amused smile as you stare ahead, he bites down on his grin but it still feels white hot on his face.

Wherever you two have meandered to is much quieter. Cars are not passing down the road and most people still out at this hour are sticking to the well lit streets with more foot traffic.

“Oh my god. My mom was so mad at me when she found out.” You throw your head back to laugh at the memory. It feels good. It feels right to be here right now. “She found out because you told May that my mom was too busy that week to make me lunch so she’d put an extra sandwich in your lunch box for you to give me.”

Peter opens his mouth to speak but cuts himself off with a look of concentration.

Something is off.

His footsteps slow, yours following when a big burly man in a black fitted shirt steps into your path from the entrance of a long closed restaurant. It wasn’t just a passerby. You can tell from the way his attention is fixated on Peter. The guy's narrowed eyes move to size you up.

Not that you were a threat.

Another man steps out behind you, a third crossing the street and approaching. Muggers. That’s your first thought. It wasn’t terribly uncommon in a city like this, especially given the time and day. You quickly figure out this isn’t a chance of opportunity when the man standing a few feet in front of you speaks.

“Peter Parker?” He tilts his head, features dark from the lack of street lamps but there was no mistaking the glint in his eye. That was enough for Peter to step closer to you. He keeps you half behind him, an arm going out to keep his body between yours and theirs. There was more than one threat to worry about. The other two approach and settle in their own spots so they can circle you against the wall. Peter tries to have his head turned enough to keep the other two men in his peripheral vision.

You tell yourself to stay calm, that everything is going to be fine.

That voice in your head has to scream that at you when you see the flash of the gun dangling in the guy's hand.

[honeyedmiller]

Law of Attraction — Chapter Three: The Offer

series masterlist | previous chapter | next chapter

rating: 18+, minors dni.

warnings: professor!Joel, professor x student relationship, one-sided emotional pining (for now), jealous!Joel, possessive!Joel, dom!Joel, smut (unprotected piv, fingering, m oral receiving), no use of y/n.

word count: 3.6k

chapter synopsis: joel makes you an offer that you’re apprehensive about, but don’t want to refuse.

-

“Hold the fuck up. I’m sorry, you did what?” Adrienne paces back and forth before you in your bedroom as you sat down at the edge of your bed, gnawing at your bottom lip as you fiddled with your tangled fingers in your lap.

Shame swarmed throughout your whole body. You couldn’t believe it, either.

Stupid, stupid girl.

“Maybe this could be good for me.” Your voice is meek as you try to defend your own honor, but truthfully, your rebuttal wasn’t very promising.

“Babe. Listen to me. You know I love you more than anything in the world, right?” She looks down to you, grabbing onto your shoulders softly. You nod your head, still unable to meet her eyes.

“Okay, I know you and I both know this just isn’t going to end well. You literally just confessed to me that you’re starting to fall for a man you’ve hooked up with a couple of times and now you’re telling me you’re agreeing to do this—this dangerous game with him? I don’t understand why he even offered this in the first place.” Adrienne huffed in exasperation, trying to wrap her head around the whole ordeal.

You honestly couldn’t point out why on god’s green earth that you agreed to be friends with benefits with Joel. Your fucking professor, of all people.

The conversation you two had the night you two slept together at the hotel in Los Angeles before he left your room to go to his kept replaying in your head.

“So I was thinkin’ about this. Us. And I wanna propose somethin’.” Joel’s voice was a soft lull, drawing your attention up to him.

You waited for him to continue, nervousness coursing through your body.

“I wanna keep doin’ this– uh, ‘hookin’ up’– so I was wonderin’ if you wanted to do the whole friends with benefits thing.” Joel’s words were a bit apprehensive, probably because he was trying to choose the right ones to say.

Your heart absolutely sank at his suggestion. Friends with benefits? What were you two, high schoolers?

You tried to not let your expression falter and give away what you were really feeling, which was sadness and pure disappointment. Was he ashamed to be seen with you publicly or something because you were a bigger girl?

You thought your relationship with him meant more than that.

Your mind swirled a million miles a minute, and you gnawed on your lip as your weight shifted back and forth between your feet. You studied his features, and he appeared to be cool and collected.

You contemplated his offer, weighing the pros and cons of it all. He eyed you, keeping his arms crossed over his chest as he tilted his head to the side.

“You don’t have to do this with me if you don’t want it, darlin’. ‘M not forcin’ you.”

“I–I know that, Joel. I’ve just never done something like this.”

You honestly didn’t really know how to feel about it. You knew yourself and knew that your feelings for the man standing before you were blossoming in the deepest parts within you, and now it felt like thorns from a rose bush were digging into your chest, constricting you from breathing.

You didn’t want to lose him. You couldn’t. So, you took a deep breath and bit the goddamn bullet.

“Okay. I’ll do it.”

You looked up at Adrienne who looked sad for you.

“I’m fine, Adri, I promise,” Lie. “This could be good for me, y’know? I mean, sex with no strings attached with a hot, experienced man.” You shrug. Adrienne saw right through your façade.

She sighs and sits down next to you on your bed, putting a hand on your thigh.

“I just don’t get it. He claimed that you’re his, possessive as fuck, and then throws this offer at you? The fuck is that?” She throws her hands up, clearly frustrated for you.

You wish you could answer that, because you were wondering the same thing.

“I’m just going to see where this goes. I mean, if it gets to be too much, I can just pull back and say I don’t want to do this anymore. It’s not like a contractual bind or anything.”

“Just… be careful. I don’t want to see you get hurt.” She says, wrapping her arms around you to give you a hug.

“I will, Adri. I promise.”

-

Tess reprimanded Joel when he told her what he asked you. She couldn’t believe it.

“Joel, you’ve got to be fucking kidding. Friends with benefits? At your grown ass age?” She stares at her best friend in complete disbelief, whisper shouting at him in a small coffee shop in Austin. Tess flew back with Joel to Texas for a conference, so she was visiting him for a bit.

“Fuck, Tess, I panicked, okay? I’m feeling things with her that I haven’t felt in so long and—and I just don’t want a repeat of what happened with Christine.” Joel felt shame creep into his body, hanging his head low as he stared at his reflection in the dark liquid of coffee in his cup below him.

“Joel, it’s been like five years since everything happened with Christine. What’s got you thinking that this girl would do the same thing to you? I’ve seen the way she looks at you.”

“Yeah, well, Christine looked at me that way once too before she started fucking her colleague in our bed.” Joel spat, leaning back in the booth as the palms of his hands covered his eyes. He groaned softly, remembering the awful feeling in his gut when he saw his then fiancée fucking someone else.

“Christine’s a bitch. I know that. I also know that you deserve better. This woman is your better, Joel. ‘M not just talking out of my ass on this one.” Tess takes a sip of her coffee as she eyes Joel, replaying her words in his head.

“I just—fuck, I just can’t.” Joel closes his eyes, shaking his head.

“She deserves better than this, Joel.”

“We’ve only fucked twice. If she had feelings for me like that I’m sure she’d make it known to me. It’s not like we can exactly show out anyways, considerin’ she’s still my student.”

“Didn’t you say she’s graduating with her masters degree in a couple of months? And it’s not like she’s not of age, Joel. She’s only a couple years shy of thirty.” Tess quirks her brow, resting her elbows on the table as she folds her hands to rest her chin upon them.

“Can we not talk about this anymore? How are you and Misty?” Joel’s poor attempt at changing the subject made Tess chuckle sarcastically.

“When she’s had enough of your shit, don’t say I didn’t tell you so, Miller.” Tess points the wooden stirrer at him, wishing to the heavens that he would just let go for once in his life and move on.

-

The following week returning from spring break was, well, awkward. At least for you. You had to sit in Joel’s class for two and a half hours twice a week until you graduated.

You felt weird knowing that you and him being friends with benefits was an unknown phenomenon to the rest of your classmates. It was your dirty little secret.

One at which you were hiding pretty well, but Joel wasn’t.

You walked in with your classmate, Tyler, who was also in Professor Sanchez’s class before Joel’s with you. You were both talking about an upcoming project for the class and stopped in front of the usual desk you sat at. It was nothing more than causal conversation, but Joel couldn’t help but blatantly stare at the two of you.

Tyler’s hand came up to your shoulder, resting it there before nodding. You smiled at him, ever so innocently, not taking in account that Joel was now scowling. That same muscle in his jaw ticked with pure annoyance.

“If we could all take our seats, class will be starting in a minute.” Joel’s voice boomed throughout the classroom, and Tyler’s hand dropped from your shoulder as he nodded at you and went to his seat at the back of the class. You slipped into your desk, pulling out your pen and notebook.

You took in the way that Joel’s eyes settled on you, an unmistakable fire behind his dark stare. You furrowed your brows at him.

The lesson went by, and you could tell he was annoyed as he taught. His voice was gruff and his his movements were none short of agitated.

When class ended, you took your time finishing your notes and packing things up so you could linger after the rest of your fellow classmates left.

“My office. Now.” Joel grits, striding ahead of you to the small room in the back of the hallway in his classroom.

You followed suit, bag slung over your shoulder. Your sneakers scuffed the floor as you tried your best to keep up with him.

“What’s up with you, Joel? Why are you so mad today?” You ask as you softly close his office door, leaning against it afterward.

“The hell’s Tyler touching you like that for?”

Your brows furrow as you look at him in disbelief.

“Joel, you cannot be serious. It was an innocent touch to my shoulder.”

“I don’t like people touching what’s mine.” He steps closer to you, a daring glint in his eyes.

“I’m not yours, Joel.”

“Oh? ‘S that so? Get on your knees.”

You swallow thickly. “Wh-what?”

“You heard me. On your knees.”

A dark desire pooled in your core, secretly loving this possessive side of him.

You dropped your bag on the ground, sinking to your knees as you looked up at him to wait for further instruction.

He cupped your jaw with his rough hands, forcing you to meet his gaze.

“You’re so beautiful. That pretty mouth of yours needs to be around my cock right now though, dont’ya think?”

You pressed your thighs together at his words, biting your lip as you tried to suppress a whine.

“Answer me, little girl.”

Fuck.

“Yes, sir.” Your voice is meek as you felt heat rush to your face.

You could already see his cock hardening in the confines of his jeans, the outline of it taunting you. Truthfully, you loved that you turned him on so much. It made your head spin that you bagged one of the hottest men you know, even if he just wanted a friends with benefits type thing.

The thought of that reminded you that this—having sex with him and doing these dirty things—meant nothing to him. Maybe you oughta get a little bit of revenge. You smiled smugly to yourself as you kept your eyes trained on the outline of his cock.

His large hands started working the buckle of his belt, fumbling with the button of his jeans and his zipper afterward. He groaned with relief as he moved his jeans and boxers down just enough to release himself from the constraint of his clothing.

You’d almost forgotten how much seeing his cock this close made your mouth fucking salivate. He was thick and long, veins protruding from the underside and the head was bright red, swollen and leaking precum.

“Such a dirty fuckin’ girl for lookin’ at my cock like it’s your last meal. Gotta say though, baby, sure does feed my ego.” Joel darkly chuckles as he takes a step forward.

The tip of his cock touched your lips, smearing the salty precum on your lips.

“Be a good girl f’me and show me what ya got.” Joel coos, and you don’t hesitate a second longer to wrap your lips only around the tip. You poke your tongue out to trace the vein on the bottom of his shaft, the silky flesh tasting salty on your tongue. You hummed in appreciation, using your lips to glide you back up to the tip. You gave the tip a kiss, smirking as you looked Joel straight in the fucking eyes.

You were determined to keep your eyes on him the entire time; see what your mouth can do to unravel such a man. You took him in slowly, cock heavy on your tongue as he slid onto your tongue and toward the back of your throat. You gagged softly around him as your nose met the coarse hairs at the base of his cock, and his hand went flying to cradle the back of your head.

“That’s it, there you go baby. Such a good fuckin’ girl.” He praises, and you hum around him. One of your hands moves to wrap around the back of his calf, and the other reaches up to pay his balls some attention.

He moans softly, his breathing becoming uneven as it forms into a slight pant. The slick pooling between your legs became nearly unbearable, because the sounds he was making was turning you on beyond belief.

You began a steady pace on him, your saliva pooling around his cock the longer you kept going. You hollowed your cheeks out, and he looked down at you with that same dangerous glint in his eye he’s had all day.

You moved down his cock again so you were swallowing him whole, this time taking him better as your throat constricted around him. He let out a strangled moan, head lolled to the side and eyes closed with furrowed brows as he tried to focus on not cumming right then and there.

You had other plans for him.

You were determined to get your aforementioned revenge on him, which involved a very much overstimulated Joel whining and fucking begging you to stop.

You kept constricting your throat around him, only moving up once in awhile now while hollowing your cheeks.

Joel was going to lose his fucking mind. Never in his forty five years of life has anyone given him head this good. If he thought the first time you did it to him was incredible, this time blew the last completely out of the water.

“Look s’fuckin’ pretty with your mouth full of my cock, hm? ‘M not gonna last much longer.” He cradles the side of your face as you made sure you looked at him in a sultry manner. Eyelids half hooded; eyes gleaming with a dark and carnal desire for the man above you.

You were showing Joel Miller exactly what he signed up for.

You felt him twitch in your mouth, letting you know he was dangerously close. You slowly slid your tongue up to the tip, flicking your tongue between the slit on his head. That’s when he lost all control.

“Fuuuuuck.” He groaned, thick ropes of cum spitting into your mouth as you wrapped your head around his tip once more. Even after he’d exhausted all of his spend, you kept going. Kept sucking, kept licking, and didn’t fucking stop.

This was revenge for the friends with benefits ordeal.

“Fuck, darlin’ please stop. Please, s-top. Fuck.” He hissed, grabbing your hair to pull you off of him. You yelped as he yanked you backwards, a string of saliva connecting from his tip to your lips.

You smirked up at him and quirked an eyebrow, and his eyes go completely black.

Oh, you were fucked.

“Get up.” He grits, and you stand to your feet. He pushes you against his desk and fists your shirt from behind, forcing you to bend over the dark mahogany.

“Think it’s fuckin’ funny? Huh?” He reaches around your front to unbutton your jeans button, pulling down the zipper and yanking your jeans and panties past your ass and down your legs in one swift motion.

You sucked in a breath as the cool office air hit your slick pussy. You closed your eyes to try and regain your composure, but truthfully, it was too late. You were bent over his desk with your pussy on display for him and you were just truly, utterly fucked.

“I’ll show you how funny it is.” He chuckles darkly, rubbing your ass before bringing a hand down to it. The slapping sound rung through your ears as your flesh stung, and you cried out.

Truthfully, it only turned you on more.

He rubbed your other cheek before bringing his palm harshly down against your flesh, ass rippling as another loud smack echoed off the walls of the room. You hissed at the contact, squeezing your eyes shut as you let out a shaky breath.

“Look at you. Fuckin’ drippin’ f’me and I haven’t even touched your perfect little pussy yet. Little fuckin’ whore ready to be fucked, hm?” He asks, finally bringing his ring and middle finger where you need him most.

You moan as his fingers easily slide through your folds, gripping onto his desk like the Earth will lose gravitational pull if you don’t.

“Yes sir.” You choke out, voice garbled.

“You weren’t a good girl just a bit ago, though. You think bad girls deserve rewards?” He questions, and as he stands directly behind you, you felt his hardening cock on your ass.

“No, sir.”

“‘S right. Bad girls deserve to be punished. Dunno if I’ll let you cum this time, princess.” He threatens, and a whine escaped your throat.

Sure, you had a little pink vibrator in your nightstand drawer at home, but Joel’s cock and the delicious stretch it gave you provided much more relief than a silly little toy would.

“Please, sir.” Was all you could say, on the verge of tears. He could literally pump his fingers in you once and you’d be fucking done for.

“I’ll think about it.”

That’s all that was said before he lined his now fully erect cock up with your entrance, easily sliding in all the way to the hilt. The way your warmth squeezed him had him pausing to inhale shakily.

You moan at the contact, feeling his coarse hairs against your ass. You writhe beneath him, begging him silently to move.

“Stay. Fuckin’. Still.” He warns, spanking your ass once more. You cry out, breathing labored as you tried to do what he says.

“Sor– fuck, sorry, sir.”

It only took two beats before Joel started to move—really move. He was snapping his hips against your ass at a relentless pace, tip kissing your cervix repeatedly. The slight pain quickly subsided with pleasure as every ridge and vein of his silky flesh slid in and out of you at a perfectly timed pace.

He grabbed both of your hands and held both of your wrists together behind your back, other hand on the middle of your back to keep you held down. He was fucking you so hard that the desk started to scrape against the floor.

Your moans were muffled when Joel then moved his hand from your back to clamp over your mouth.

“Gotta fuckin’ be quiet, doll, or else you’ll get us both into trouble.” He tsked, but he wasn’t any better at suppressing his own moans. He removed his hand shortly after to brace it onto your shoulder.

“Takin’ me so goddamn well. Pussy was fuckin’ made f’me.” He smacks your ass once more, with less power as he drives his hips into your ass relentlessly.

“Feels s’good Joel, love your cock.” You slur, tears welling in your eyes.

“I know you fuckin’ do, little slut, takin’ my cock so easily. Droolin’ for it. Beggin’ for it. Beggin’ me to fuck you so good that I’ll ruin you for any other man.” Joel’s words dripped with venom, and you fucking knew that was a promise.

It’s you! You’re the man I want! You you you!

That’s all you wanted to say to him, but you couldn’t. How could you when you simply agreed to do this… arrangement with him? Him fucking you meant absolutely nothing to him. Simple as that. End of story.

But fuck, you wish it did. You wish he’d say fuck it, forget about the offer because I want to be with you unashamedly and show you off as my girl.

But you knew that would never be reality. Just a fantasy you conjured up in your head, torturing yourself with the fact that the “what if” will never be.

Stupid, stupid girl.

You snapped back to reality once you felt your legs tremble. You were close, and the obscene sounds of your wet pussy squelching around Joel’s cock as he pounded into you were nearly deafening.

“‘M gonna cum, Joel.” You cried, balling your hands into fists.

“Better not fuckin’ cum until I tell you you can.” His voice isn’t as rough as it was before, probably because he was close to his high too. His hips started stuttering and his pace faltered, breathing becoming so ragged that it sounded like small heaves.

Your walls clenched around him, body unable to hold off any longer.

“Please Joel, please, I can’t hold on anymore.”

Joel let go of your wrists as his hand slid between your legs, rubbing small, tight circles around your clit.

Your body simply couldn’t deny Joel’s expert touch. Your eyes rolled to the back of your head at the overwhelming sensation of Joel literally everywhere around you. His scent, his touch, his voice, him. Your walls clamped down on him harshly, legs shaking violently as you tried to suppress a scream.

Joel didn’t stop from rubbing your clit, and you realized he was doing the same exact thing you did to him.

Fucking bastard.

In a matter of seconds, he was grunting, spilling into you.

Someone was mumbling something repeatedly, and shortly after, you realized it was you saying Joel’s name continuously.

“JoelJoelJoelJoelJoelJoelJoel—”

“Sh. I’ve got you.” He pants, rubbing your shoulders. He pulls out of you, spent and utterly exhausted.

Your brain was still trying to process all of the events that just happened, finding it hard to believe what just occurred.

Joel pulled up your panties and jeans for you, prompting you to stand up straight as he zipped up your zipper and buttoned your pants back up. You turned around to face him, and he looked down at you as he readjusted his clothes himself.

“You okay?” He asks, and your brain couldn’t find words yet so you just nodded.

“Fucked you dumb on my cock, now, did I?” He smirked, and you swallowed thickly. He pulled you into him, kissing the top of your head. He bent down to grab your bag and slung it over your shoulder once more, nodding at you. “Mine.” Was all he said before kissing your head once more, opening the door to his office as you walked down the hallway back into his classroom.

You were dazed and confused, really wondering if this whole thing was worth it. You knew from that point forward that this offer of his was going to tear you apart piece by piece. Ruin you for what you’re worth.

Were you going to stop it? Of course not. You know you should, but, you couldn’t lose him—no matter the cost. But this meant nothing to him.

Naïve.

Stupid, stupid girl.

tag list: @party-hearses ; @ilovepedro ; @nostalxgic ; @tinygarbage ; @bastardmandennis ; @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin ; @cool-iguana ; @blackfemalenerd ; @pamasaur ; @noisynightmarepoetry ; @untamedheart81 ; @anoverwhelmingdin ; @mrfitzdarcyslover

[hell-drabbles]

Mammon and Bimet 1

Summary: You were wondering why Mammon kept Bimet around as his right hand man when he seems to fundamentally not understand how Mammon functions as a king. You figured it out when you decided to misplace a single coin from his little pile he collected from the street.

(The dynamic of Mammon and Bimet is entertaining to me.)

You don’t really talk to Bimet and it absolutely has everything to do with how he treats those that have no money to their name. And also because of the way he treated you upon first introductions but his treatment of those that are poor are a bigger red flag than anything.

So his absolute one-eighty turn once Mammon claimed himself to be yours annoyed you more than anything. You never met a bigger whore for money than this man.

That being said, in a weird, logical sense, you understand why Mammon keeps Bimet so close. If you were to look at Mammon as a being that is inseparable from wealth, as Mammon being wealth itself, than there would be no better worshiper than Bimet. However, this logic doesn’t really carry over in the way Bimet probably wants it to be carried.

Because the rule that Mammon works under is that "everything belongs to him." From the walls, to the gold lining the streets to even the coins lost down the sewer drain. Anything and everything belongs to Mammon, and therefore nothing belongs to you when you are under his rule. Bimet craves to have wealth under his possession, but how can he have anything if the king he serves never views it as his in the first place?

That being said…

“He’s infuriating…” you grumbled under your breath as you poked at your leftovers. Bimet was sitting across from you, as though he belonged in the same space you were in when he was so scornful of it before. Currently, on a fancy little handkerchief you’re pretty sure he never had before, was a small pile of golden coins that have been shined to near mirror perfection.

Right after eating his food, he began cleaning them, as though any speck of dirt was a sin to be erased.

“Is he now?” Mammon whispered right back to you, a smile wide on his face as though laughing at some inner joke, “if you want him gone, just say the word. You have that power over all my belongings. Though,” Mammon leaned against his chair, crossing his arms, “Well, I’m sure his reaction will be entertaining all the same.”

“I could, I could,” you mused. The thought is tempting, to watch him drag his feet out of the restaurant in that sullen manner. Then, you noticed Bimet’s attention was away from his coins, “Give me a moment.”

You leaned over and quickly grabbed a single coin from the top and slid it under a thick wrinkle in the handkerchief.

Mammon raised an eyebrow but kept his lips shut. You’re glad to see he’s not judging you for playing dangerous games. Well, it would be dangerous if your safety wasn’t guaranteed by the king by your side.

“Now be quiet!” Bimet shouted, “If I miscount again I will–” Then he finally noticed the coin missing from his pile. That certainly didn’t take long. “What?”

You sipped on your drink, long and slow as Bimet began to sweat, rage and distress overflowing from him in equal measures and he flipped his gaze from you to Mammon.

Mammon simply leaned his head on your shoulder, closing his eyes as though about to nap while you raised an eyebrow in question, as though you didn’t know a thing.

And, because he obviously can’t just accuse you or Mammon in a place as public as this, Bimet instead turned his angry rich self towards the rest of the public. “Who stole my money?!”

And so his penny-pinching rage began. The notes in his hair shook and shriveled as his robes flared around him. The devils just peacefully eating their meals froze up while others continued eating as though this was another Tuesday.

And, while he was turned around, you slipped the coin right back to the top of the pile.

Bimet took in a deep breath, not containing his rage so much as he was collecting it so he can release it on the culprit later. When his focus was back on his collection of coins, the choking duck noise he made almost made you burst out laughing.

Instead you snorted and hide it in Mammon’s hair. Easily can be confused for a gentle goodnight kiss. You can feel his body shivering with contained laughter.

Bimet quickly shoved the coins into the folds of his clothing. He bowed to you both, “If you’ll excuse me, I’ll be putting these in a better, more safe place.”

You waved him away, not really caring if he decided to go down the nearest cliff or go to the park. It’s all the same to you: he going away.

“So,” you tapped at Mammon’s forehead, his eyes opening, “you keep him as not just a right-hand man, but a royal entertainer as well?”

Mammon chuckled and gave you a grin, “Is it that obvious? Well, as your belonging, I won’t hide anything from you.”

[atinylittlepain]

Dancing in the Dark

no outbreak!joel miller x fem!reader

Hungry Hearts masterlist

The summer of '86, a season of love, record-breaking heat, and evening softball games in one Austin neighborhood. What happens when seventeen years later, that lost love comes back around?

warnings | 18+ cursing, smut, young joel is a goddamn menace, angst, references to bad home life, gin making random things canon

wordcount | 9.8K

a/n | welcome back to Hungry Hearts, y'all. i have to thank @northernbluess for beta-reading this bad boy. love you, cousin. as always, I'd love to hear what you think of the chapter!

.......................................

“Hey, Cher, you ready to go?”

“Does it look like I’m ready to go?”

“You look ready to me.”

“Joel, I’m not wearing a shirt.”

“It’s hot out, Cherry. I’m just thinking about your well-being here.”

“How considerate of you. Just give me a minute, and be quiet before my parents hear you.” 

“Bossy, bossy.” She leaves him at her window, shuffling back over to her closet to finish getting dressed. Joel, however, doesn’t stay put for long, swinging one leg, then the other over the sill and into her room before promptly banging his forehead on the opened pane of her window, a low curse leaving his mouth before she can shush him. 

“Very smooth.”

“Yeah, well, you know me. Now c’mere.” He hooks a finger into the belt loop of her jean shorts, a little tug that she resists, and then a bigger, more impatient tug that she can’t help but shuffle into. He’s actually wearing pants tonight, tight, tight blue jeans with a t-shirt that’s had the sleeves and sides cut out, a perfect space for her palms to splay along the bare sides of his ribs when he draws her in for a kiss by the hinge of her jaw. 

“If you start now, we’re never gonna make it to the fair.” He hums at that, his eyes still intently focused on her lips.

“Hmm, would that be such a bad thing?” 

“Uh, yes, I want to see the fireworks.” She’s not sure if he really heard that, his mind seeming to go a bit one-track as he looks at her bra, his fingers brushing over the top of the cups, catching on the lace there.

“This is new.”

“No, I just haven’t worn it around you before.” 

“Well, shit, Cher, you been holding out on me?” 

“Joel.”

“Alright, alright, hands off, I’ll let you get dressed.” As she pulls a tank top over her head, she realizes that he’s never been in her room before. Not even when they were kids. She steals a glance at him as she’s tying her sneakers, and he seems to be stealing glances of his own, subtly leaning over the small desk across from her bed, his eyes trailing over the stack of books sitting there, the photos she had pinned to the wall from her last year of college. He doesn’t say anything though, a quiet collecting, so she doesn’t say anything about it either, simply clearing her throat to grab his attention when she’s ready to go.

“Try not to knock your head into the window on the way out this time.” He doesn’t, though he grumbles through the close contortion he has to manage to pop back outside, panting a little when he holds his hand out for her through the window. It’s not like they had an actual conversation about the necessity of sneaking around with each other. It was an unspoken understanding. Her parents like Joel enough, she grew up with him after all, but she’s certain they would both have aneurysms if they found out what they’ve been getting up to. And anyways, it’s just for the summer, nothing serious, a bit of fun, and Joel seems just as content with that as she is. 

“Tell me about your classes.”

“I’m pretty sure I’d bore you if I did.” 

“We’ve got a half-hour drive, Cher, try me.” The sun is just starting to set, turning the inside of his truck a hazy orange as they drive down the highway away from the suburbs and toward the Austin city limits.

“Okay, in most of them we read books, then we talk about the books, then we write papers about the books.”

“That’s it?”

“I told you it’s boring.” 

“You’re taking writing classes too though, right?” 

“Yeah, I actually won an award for a short story I did in one of them.” She feels a bit stupid sharing that with him, a bit stupid for even wanting to in the first place. But he smiles, big and bright, his eyebrows lifting up with a quick glance over to her.

“No shit, Cher, that’s awesome. I’m not surprised though.” 

“Thanks, yeah, you wanna know what my mom said when I showed her the photo of me receiving the award?” 

“What’d she say?”

“She asked if I had really been wearing my hair like that at school.” For a moment, he’s silent, and her stomach twists up, worried that she shouldn’t have shared that because, obviously, why the hell would he want to hear her bitch about her mom? 

“That’s fucking bullshit, she seriously said that?”

“Yeah.”

“Your mom was always kind of a square.”

“I’m inclined to agree.” 

“You remember when I got gum stuck to your skirt in Sunday school?”

“Oh my god, she was so mad.” 

“She’s got that vein, right down the middle of her forehead, you know?”

“Oh yeah, I’m very familiar with that vein.”

“I swear, Cherry, I thought it was gonna burst she was yelling at me so good.”

“I remember watching that from the car. Your little mouth was just hanging open, I didn’t know if you were gonna bolt or barf.”

“I was scared shitless. She yell at you when y’all got home then?” 

“No, I got the silent treatment and no dinner for a week.”

“Shit, Cher, really?” Suddenly, the laugh buoying his words is gone, a little quieter, a little more tempered. And she realizes, oh, one of those things that isn’t normal. Oh, one of those things that doesn’t happen in other families. Since starting college, she’s gotten good at recognizing these moments, when the laughs die out right after something she said. Oh, your parents? Well, get a load of my parents. No, not funny. Not funny at all. A whole lot of not funny going on in her household. 

“Yeah, I guess that’s why I stopped sitting next to you in Sunday school.” Said with a weak laugh to make it okay, though Joel’s smile has still faltered into something closer to a grimace, his eyes staying still and squinted down the stretch of the highway. 

“Can I read the story sometime?” 

“Oh, um, yeah, okay, if you want.” He keeps his eyes on the road, but his hand that isn’t hanging over the steering wheel slips down to rest on the center console, palm face up, a wordless invitation that she finds herself taking with her own hand. A small comfort to press her palm into his.

“Of course I do, Cher.”

…

It’s the same thing every year. The same rides that always have a few screws loose, the same smell of food sizzling in oil that his doctor would definitely not want him eating, the same throngs of sunburned people shuffling from booth to booth down the drag of streets that have been closed off for the fair. For a while, he didn’t go, but since Sarah got old enough to be interested in all the fourth of July festivities, they’ve made the drive into Austin every year for it, though as of late, the night usually entails her meeting up with her friends and yes, dadding, him into leaving her alone until the fireworks are over. But he isn’t all alone this year, Tommy tagging along at the last minute when whatever his plans were, Joel shudders to think of what they were, fell through. So no, not pathetic at all, just two grown men wandering through the crowd and waiting until they can go home. 

“I saw we got a new appointment on the books for next week. Someone on Cascade Street?”

“Uh-huh.”

“New client?”

“Yep, yeah, they just moved in.”

“Why are you being weird about it?” Tommy stops in his tracks, scrunching his face up at Joel who would really like this topic of conversation to get dropped. 

“I’m not, Tommy, why are you so concerned about this new client?” 

“What are they getting done?” 

“New porch.” 

“Who’s taking the job?” 

“I am.”

“You?” 

“The fuck is that supposed to mean?” Tommy shrugs, scoffing when Joel starts walking again without him, quick to catch up and step into stride with him.

“Seems like a pretty rinky-dink job for you to take on, especially when we’re in the middle of that new build on Cypress.”

“I thought you said you have Cypress under control?” He’s being a touch too snappy about it, he knows it, and judging by the weird look Tommy is giving him, his hands up as if in surrender, he knows it too. 

“I do, I’m just surprised that you aren’t letting one of the other guys take that job on, is all. What, is it a pretty lady or something?” Before Joel can figure out how to answer that question, Tommy’s eyes are widening and slipping right over his shoulder, and then–

“Holy shit, holy shit.”

“What?” 

“See for yourself, brother.” Tommy shuffles him around by his shoulders, Joel’s protests dying in his throat when he sees her. Mercifully, she hasn’t seen them yet, standing in line at a frozen lemonade stand with her phone at her ear, having what looks to be a heated conversation. He doesn’t see Ellie with her, though, and figures to himself that she’s gotten the same treatment he has from Sarah. And suddenly, frozen lemonade seems like a very good idea because his throat has gotten quite dry looking at her. Those same jean shorts he saw her in the last time, and a sliver of skin between the waistband and the hem of her t-shirt. Her very tight t-shirt that rides up a little more when she raises her hand to push those sunglasses of hers back into her hair. And, well, he’s not trying to be a perv, but it doesn’t take much more than a glance to tell that she isn’t wearing a bra beneath her very, very tight t-shirt. 

“Cherry!” 

“Tommy, what the fuck?” Too late, her head has already whipped around, her phone still pressed to her ear, though the scowl that had been on her face melts into a small smile, her eyes widening in recognition. Meanwhile, Joel is considering how hard he would have to punch his brother to rattle his pea-sized brain into some sense. Cherry seems to finish her phone call with a quick flurry, already walking over to them as she hangs up.

“Tommy Miller, look at you!” Tommy pulls her into a tight hug, a small oof leaving her as he hoists her up until only her toes are on the ground before setting her back down with a slap to her arm. Joel decidedly does not give her such a greeting. 

“Cher, of all the people I don’t think I’d ever expect to see you around here, goddamn!”

“Wait, Joel didn’t tell you I moved back?” They both turn their attention to Joel, who only manages to open and close his mouth a few times before Tommy lets out a scoff. 

“You knew that she was back and you didn’t tell me?” 

“Uh, well–”

“I thought for sure he would have told you. He’s coming out to look at my porch next week. Very impressive by the way, Tom, Miller’s Construction.” At that, something smug slides down Tommy’s face as he looks over at Joel.

“Oh, is he now? Say, Cher, you didn’t happen to move in on Cascade Street, did you?”

“Yeah, that’s right, so Joel did tell you then?” Joel contorts his face in the best expression of please no, Tommy, I will kill you if you do that he can muster over Cherry’s shoulder, but Tommy just grins at him, and then at Cherry. 

“No, nope, I just saw in our books that there was an appointment on Cascade next week with a very important person. Just putting two and two together for myself since it looks like no one tells me anything around here.” With that, Tommy claps Joel on the shoulder, who still hasn’t managed to get a word in edgewise between the two of them. Cherry has a smile on her face like she knows exactly what’s going on.

“Well, anyways, it’s so good to see you, Cher. Don’t be a stranger, okay?”

“It’s good to see you too, Tommy. I’m really glad to see you looking so well.” 

“I try, now if you two kids will excuse me, I have a date with something deep fried and covered in sugar.” Tommy is off in a flash, leaving Joel to flounder beneath Cherry’s simpering gaze. 

“You didn’t tell Tommy that I was back?”

“I didn’t think it was mine to tell.” She nods, squinting at him through the bleary haze of the sunset.

“So this hasn’t changed much at all.”

“No, I reckon these are the same rides we went on as kids.”

“Don’t remind me, I’m already worried that Ellie’s off getting kidnapped right now. I don’t need tetanus and loss of limb added to the list.”

“So you got dumped too then?” They make their way back over to the line in front of the frozen lemonade stand, a bit longer than it was before, but he’s happy to wait with her. 

“Afraid so, apparently when you turn fourteen you no longer want to be seen in public with your mom.”

“That applies to dads too.” They both share a tired smile and a small shrug, and once again he can’t believe he’s standing here with her, talking about parenthood of all things. 

“Ellie’s on a date, but don’t tell her I told you that.” Said with a slanted smile and a bump of her shoulder into his.

“Oh yeah?” 

“Mmhmm, she’s been harboring quite the crush on her team’s center outfielder.” The gears in his mind spin for a moment, and then it clicks. 

“Oh, oh, huh.” 

“Nice save, Joel.” 

“No, I mean, that’s great, Cher. Good for her for, uh, knowing herself.” He palms the back of his neck, trying to cool the quick heat creeping there as she laughs at him. It’s a heat he hasn’t felt in a long time, though she was always quick to draw it out of him, always quick to catch him.

“Yeah, it is. I do worry though. Austin is definitely not New York.”

“That it ain’t, though I don’t think she’s gonna have to worry with you for her mom. You always did know how to give people the what for.” 

“You’re damn right about that.” That’s a smile he’d like to remember, a grin really, her eyes crinkling up at him, a little wry and a little fierce. That heat just keeps creeping. 

When they get to the front of the line, she starts to argue with him when he tries to pay for her drink, though he manages to sneak it by her when she gets distracted by another phone call buzzing through her back pocket. She checks the caller ID, sighs, and immediately shoves the phone back into her pocket, letting out another sigh when she sees that he’s already paid for her lemonade. 

“For the record, I’m getting the next one.” 

“Sure, Cher.” His mind gets a little stuck on next one, though he manages to follow her over to a bench and sit down with her, when once again, her phone starts ringing. She doesn’t check it, simply takes a long swig through the straw of her drink as it continues to buzz and ring.

“Not gonna take that call?” 

“Nope, do you want some of this?” Maybe it’s childish, but the thought of drinking from the same straw as her makes his brain start to fry, so he shakes his head no and grips the edge of the bench a little tighter. 

“Is that who you were on the phone with earlier?”

“Oh, you saw that, huh?” It makes him feel sheepish, admitting that he had, nodding to her question. Her shoulders slacken with a long sigh, another pull from her lemonade before she continues speaking. 

“It’s my agent, poking around for my next draft.”

“So you weren’t kidding about the big leagues? Got an agent and everything.”

“I wish I didn’t have one, honestly. But I kinda have to when I’m dealing with all these big publishers.” She pinches the bridge of her nose as she says it, her eyes dropping shut, and he finally sees that she is actually very tired. A little drawn, heavy circles under her eyes, a little thin, sharp around the edges in a way he doesn’t remember. How he missed it before he isn’t sure, but now that he sees it, something slight and sharp slips between his ribs and curls around his heart. 

“You’re working on another book then?” How quickly she hides away that weariness, looking at him with her cheek tilted over her shoulder and a bright smile.

“I’m trying to. You probably don’t care to hear about this–”

“I do, Cher, always wanted to hear about your stories.” It comes out before he can think much about it, and her expression does a strange thing. A quick fall, a scrunch of her brows, and then a slight frown before she shakes her head as if to clear the whole thing away. 

“Have you really not read a single one of my books, Joel?” 

“Uh, I–”

“No, don’t answer that. Wasn’t a fair question, sorry. Anyways, there’s nothing much to tell about this one because I am completely stuck with it.” 

“Stuck?” 

“I’m about this close to scrapping the whole thing. I don’t know, I guess part of me thought the move would shake something loose, but I still got nothing.” It’s not like he could offer her any advice on it, and it’s not like she’s looking for it either, another sigh around her straw and a shrug of her shoulders, always quick to make nothing out of something. 

“You eaten anything for dinner yet?”

“Does this thirty-two ounce frozen lemonade count?” He’s already getting up and holding out his hand for her, and while it seems like the simplest movement, his mind instantly questions if it’s too much, though he fights against that with a foolish hope. 

“C’mon, Cher, I think I can do you one better than a frozen lemonade.” No big deal, she takes his hand. No big deal, he tells himself. No big deal when she lets go either, because that’s normal too. That’s friendly. And friendly is good. 

“If you’re thinking what I think you’re thinking, then it is definitely going to be better than this frozen lemonade.” 

…

“You got a little, right there–” Before she can wipe away whatever he’s referring to with a napkin, Joel has already licked his thumb and swiped it along the corner of her mouth, promptly sucking what she assumes is barbecue sauce off the pad of his finger. 

“That was so gross.”

“What? I’m saving paper.”

“Lovely.”

“Always, Cherry baby.” The sun had set a while ago, the streets lit up in a syrupy wash of neon from all the rides and games lining the several blocks. They ran the whole circuit of the booths, her constantly pulling Joel away to keep him from spending any more money on trying to win her something, and inevitably failing at whatever rigged game he stepped up to. She can already see his eyes dragging over the remaining booths as they finish their meal at one of the picnic tables set up next to all the food vendors, planning his attack, no doubt.

“You know I really don’t care about getting a stuffed animal, right?” 

“It’s the principle of the thing, Cher.”

“Those games are literally designed for people to lose at them. Seriously, I don’t want you to waste any more money on it.” She quickly realizes that was the exact wrong thing to say, Joel’s eyes flashing back to her, hard and steeled, on the defense. 

“You don’t gotta worry about what I do with my money, okay?” His words come out rushed and loud, with a quick shake of his head, enough to startle her back from where her thigh had been pressed close to his, something that immediately washes the edge out of his expression, his eyebrows slackening and his lips parting.

“Okay, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean anything by it, Joel.” Her mouth feels dry, a cool prickle in her scalp, regret swirling up her meal in her stomach. He gets enough of that from everyone else, the money, the job, the what is the plan. He doesn’t need it from her too. 

“No, I’m sorry, it’s just– forget it, I shouldn’t have gone after you like that.” She’s not quite ready to look at him, keeping her eyes focused on the red and white checkered napkin that she’s twisting in her hands. But of course, Joel doesn’t abide by that for long, ducking his head and leaning over to place a smacking kiss on the corner of her mouth before angling back again to get one planted square on her lips. 

“You– taste– like– smoked– brisket–” Each of his words is punctuated with another peck until she can no longer stave off the smile threatening at the corners of her lips, shoving him back with a palm pressed in the middle of his chest. 

“Oh shit, Miller, is that you?” Her stomach turns over, because she’s pretty sure she knows whose voice that is, and she wishes that she didn’t. She isn’t sure what the next best move is, though Joel seems to make the decision for her, slinging his arm over her shoulder to tuck her into his side just as Mikey Donahue comes sauntering over to where they’re sitting. 

“Hey, Mike, you out with the guys tonight?” Joel offers his hand out for a hard shake, apparently still chummy with Mikey after the little scene at his party. Though she supposes water flows under the bridge a little faster for boys anyways. 

“Nah, decided to finally bite the bullet and take Maureen out, she ducked into the bathrooms but she should be wandering over soon.” Though the answer is directed at Joel, Mikey’s eyes stay steady on her, a smile that she doesn’t like the curl of crooking his mouth. 

“Y’all are quite the couple. Does your daddy know you’re out with this menace, big city?” It’s so small, so subtle, but she can still feel it, the way Joel’s hand curls closely and tenses around her forearm from where his arm had been draped around her.

“Ha, ha, Mikey, that’s very funny. I’m a big girl though, don’t really need my daddy or you to be concerned with my business.” Joel snorts over her shoulder, and she has to resist the urge to elbow him for it. 

“Whatever you say, big city. Oh, here comes Maureen. Do y’all mind if we join you?” She’s quick to cut Joel off before he can answer, squeezing his thigh hard to shut him up as she offers Mikey a tight-lipped smile. 

“Actually, we were just heading off to get a few rides in before the fireworks, but y’all have fun.” Not another word, though she’s pretty sure she hears Mikey let out a laugh as she pulls Joel up and along behind her before Maureen can even get anywhere near them. 

“Cher, you know I don’t like rides.” Said very lowly, a bit bashful, she thinks, his head ducking down to speak the words right into her ear. Yeah, she knows, and has known since they were nine and Tommy and her forced him onto the Gravitron, which ended with Joel in tears and a puddle of what had been his dinner next to the trash can that he missed by only a hair. 

“I know, I just needed an excuse to get away from those two. But, really, Joel? Not even the ferris wheel?” He stops walking for a moment, his eyes scanning over the arc of the ride as if to give it his full consideration. Finally, he looks at her again, his lips pressed in a thin line.

“How bad do you wanna go on it?” 

“I think it could be nice, but not if you’re going to be all weird about it.” She swears she sees his chest puff a little, and with that, he takes her hand with all the conviction of a man going off to war. 

“I’m not going to be weird about it, let’s go.” Famous last words. He’s the picture of ease all while they’re standing in line, but the instant they cram into one of the cars, his whole body tenses up, his knuckles going white where they’re gripping onto the side railing. She doesn’t say anything at first, just puts her hand on his bouncing knee when the ride cranks into motion. Though when they crest the top of the ride and it stops again, Joel’s poorly contained panic becomes impossible to ignore.

“Oh, what the fuck–”

“It’s okay, they’re just letting more people on.” She doesn’t think that he hears her, too busy craning his neck over the side of the car before skittering back into place when the lean of his body makes the whole thing rock. 

“This is so fucked–”

“Joel.”

“Why do people enjoy this? That’s–”

“Joel.” 

“What?” He finally looks at her, eyes a bit frantic and jaw slack. She can’t help but reach out and brush his hair back from his face. 

“Is it– are you afraid of heights?” Calling it what it is seems to calm him, his shoulders finally coming down from his ears and his eyes softening. She lets her hand dip down to curl behind his neck, her fingers scratching lightly into the back of his hair.

“Maybe, but I’d say that’s a pretty rational fear, Cher.” 

“Yeah, it is, and you’re also totally safe right now.” Her words are undermined just a bit when the ride screeches back into motion just as she finishes saying them, Joel’s eyes going wide again as he whips his head around to look over the edge of the car. Right, drastic measures then. 

“Hey.” First, she shrugs her thigh over top of his to stop the anxious bounce in his knee, already drawing his attention back onto her. Then, she leans in a little closer so she can keep her eyes steady with his, her hand firm along the side of his neck to hold him in place. 

“Just look right here and it’ll be over before you know it.”

“This is ridiculous.”

“Well, I’m not the one freaking out on a ferris wheel right now.”

“Hey.” She shouldn’t, like giving a child what they want just because they’re having a tantrum. But she does, pressing one kiss, then another to his lips, small, swift little pecks that he eventually starts to lean into, his hand that had been gripping onto the railing coming up to settle along the line of her jaw when she swipes her tongue across his bottom lip. They’ve gotten a little better at this, at making compromises with each other, giving and taking almost equally, opening up for each other. And, not that his ego needs to hear it, but she really likes kissing him. 

His panic seems to be all forgotten as he licks into her mouth, his nose brushing along the side of hers. Always a little greedy though, crowding her into the side of the car and making a soft sound skitter up her throat when his teeth graze along her lip. 

“Uh, excuse me?” It startles them both, Joel very slowly pulling away from her and turning his head to look at the ride attendant, the very unamused looking ride attendant. 

“Y’all can get off now, thanks.” 

…

“Goddamn.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“They don’t have barbecue up north?” 

“Not like this they don’t, Jesus.” He tries not to smile too big at the satisfied hum that leaves her throat as she takes another bite. And he’s also trying hard not to watch her too closely, because, no, it’s probably not normal to just stare at someone while they’re eating brisket and potato salad. 

“Do I have something on my face?” Busted, and, well, actually, he motions to the side of his own mouth, words getting caught in his throat. She gets the hint though, grabbing a napkin and dabbing at the same spot on her face.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t realize how hungry I actually was. I probably look a little crazy right now.” 

“Are you eating proper while you’re working?” Sheepish, the flicker of her eyes from beneath her lashes is enough of an answer to his question. Some things never change, he supposes. 

“I may get a little distracted.”

“Uh-huh.” A quick, quiet smile shared, a knowing. He likes knowing. 

“Mom?” No, he is still not used to that, both of them whipping their heads around where they’re sitting at a picnic bench to see her daughter with a very furrowed look on her face. 

“Hey, babe, everything okay?” Ellie is looking at Joel. Sizing him up is more like it, her lips pursed and her arms crossed, her hip cocked to the side, just like he knows her mom does when she’s not pleased with something. 

“Uh, yeah, we were just gonna– wait, are you eating meat?” He glances back to Cherry, who now has the guiltiest little smile on her face, her eyebrows pulled together in a quiet cringe as she tries to inconspicuously swallow another bite of food.

“I am, Els, I’m sorry. I gotta be honest, I don’t think I’m gonna keep up the vegetarian thing all the time, but you know I’ll support you if you still want to.” Ellie gives her an eye roll that looks like it’s going to get stuck in the back of her head, a little huff and a few shuffled steps in place like she can’t believe this.

“Okay, well, fine, I guess. I was gonna ask if you had found something to eat that didn’t have dead animal in it, but obviously you’re not gonna be much help with that so I’ll see you later.” With that, Ellie turns heel back into the crowd, Joel still unsure exactly what he just watched.

“They have fried pickles, babe, those should be fine! Be safe, please!” Ellie only acknowledges her shout with a glance spared over her shoulder, Cherry immediately deflating when her daughter gets swallowed up by the crowd, bringing her thumb and forefinger to pinch the bridge of her nose again.

“Oh my god, I can’t believe that just happened.” Said with a dejected little laugh that only grows when she takes another bite of brisket, his chest loosening up when she shakes her head and offers him a smile.

“So vegetarian, huh?” Cherry shrugs.

“New York.” 

“Sarah had a phase with it too. Only lasted three days before Tommy took her to KFC and she swayed.” 

“Ellie is a little more, uh, zealous about it. It’s going on two years now since she watched some documentary and came into my room in complete tears over, and mind you that a twelve-year-old said this, the horrors of animal agriculture.” 

“Well shit.” 

“Right?” 

“You’re telling me you’ve been vegetarian for two years?”

“Don’t laugh, Joel.” It only makes him laugh harder, Cherry shoving him in the arm as she tries to scrunch her mouth out of a smile. But beneath that laugh, there’s something else, something warm and a little giddy. He’s noticed it every time she has said his name. 

“No wonder you were so hungry, Cher, damn.”

“This may surprise you, but meat isn’t the only food group. And I’ll have you know I make some damn good tofu enchiladas.” 

“Well that’s just sacreligious.”

“Oh please.” Back and forth, slipping into that easy volley without either of them noticing that their faces have started inching closer and closer, though when they do there’s a quick flush of heat that has them both clearing their throats and widening that space again. 

“I’ve been meaning to ask, where did Will end up?” 

“Oregon, he’s a really great photographer these days.” 

“Y’all keep in touch?”

“A little, yeah. I think for a while, we were both just happy to have gotten out, you know? It made us keep our distance from each other. But he came and visited last year, got to meet Ellie for the first time.” 

“That’s great, Cher.”

“Yeah, it is. He’s turning thirty-three this year, if you can believe it.” 

“Jesus.”

“I know, how’d that happen, huh?” Joel just shakes his head, a memory already floating up to the surface. Will was a freshman when they were seniors, tall but slight for his age, quieter, kept more to himself, though Joel made a point of saying hi to him in the hallways, clapping him on the back in the lunch line. There was a day, maybe a week after winter break, and Joel was loitering in the halls during a class he didn’t have any patience for when he saw Will at his locker. All smiles, all loud and brash greetings that all faded when he saw the shiner mottling under Will’s right eye. He remembers being ready to go on the warpath for the kid, asking him over and over, who did this, man, just tell me, who did this? He figured, one of the guys from the football team, someone he could set straight, and that he of course would set straight for Cherry’s little brother. But Will just kept saying nobody, it’s nobody, Joel, please don’t. It was probably two months later when he finally figured out who nobody was, a slow realization, something clicking into place. 

But he knows better than to share that memory with her, the same way he knows better than to ask her if she has kept in touch with her parents. He already knows the answer to that question. 

“Joel?”

“Hmm?”

“Where’d you go?” Her head tilted at him, a suggestion of a smile. 

“Sorry, just thinking.”

“That’s dangerous.”

“And that’s mean.” Back to the present, sitting next to her on a picnic bench, he has to shake his head of it. A strange feeling, how carefully they’re stepping around the past, sharing pieces in scraps, in unsure palms, always quick to make it light, make a joke of it. He’s not sure how long he can keep dancing like this. 

“Are you sticking around for the fireworks?”

“I was informed by Sarah to meet her at the car after the fireworks, so yeah, I guess I am.” 

“Oh, how funny, I was given the same instructions by my own little tyrant.” 

“Imagine that.” 

“You wouldn’t want to watch them with me, would you?” 

“I’d love to, Cher.”

…

“You do realize you’re driving us in the opposite direction of where the fireworks are being set off, right?” 

“Do you trust me or not?”

“Do you want me to answer that honestly or not?” 

“You know I could kick you out of my car if I wanted to.” 

“Oh yeah? I’d like to see you try.” 

“Cherry, just– quiet for a minute–”

“Don’t tell me to be quiet, Joel!”

“I’m trying to concentrate, goddamnit! You’re gonna make me miss the turn.”

“What turn? We’re literally on the highway and there isn’t another exit for–” Her thought gets lost behind a gasp when Joel mutters a quiet shit under his breath and suddenly veers completely off the road and into what she thinks is a corn field, though she’s a little too busy shouting whatthefuckwhatthefuckwhatthefuck over and over again as the car bounces and bumps over uneven ground. And seemingly just as suddenly, he stops the car altogether, putting it in park and killing the engine in what, yes, is the middle of a cornfield, the stalks unusually high and proud for this early in the season. It’s already dark out, deep blue and bruising shadows, she can only barely see his face in what light the lamp post about fifty yards away offers.

“What the fuck?”

“You already asked that about a thousand times, Cher.” 

“Yeah, and you haven’t answered, so again, what the fuck?” He’s still not answering, shouldering into his door to get it open against the close crush of the tightly planted corn stalks, letting out a satisfied grunt when it finally gives way.

“Joel–”

“Cherry, just shut up and give me your hand.” 

“If you ever tell me to shut up again I’m going to make sure you regret it.” 

“Noted, now come here.” Albeit reluctantly, she takes his hand from where he’s now leaning out of the driver’s side door, managing an awkward shimmy over the center console and into the driver’s seat as Joel swings his body out along the side of the car, one leg hitching into the truck bed. The soft silk of corn stalks brushes against her legs and arms as she follows after him, holding on tight to his hand to hoist herself up and into the truck bed alongside him, a quick tumble over each other, all tangled up. Though not for long, Joel already getting to work shaking out what she sees is a stack of moving blankets in the back of the truck bed. She takes a moment to look around, a thick line of trees surrounding the field on the side opposite to the road, so late that she doesn’t think a single car has passed by since they’ve driven out here. And, she hates to admit it, a perfect view down the stretch of the highway of the stadium where they’re setting off the fireworks from. 

“You good?” His question startles her out of her slow scan of the surroundings, finally looking back at him to see that he’s spread the blankets out in the bed of the truck, his back resting against the cab and his legs stretched out in front of him. 

“Y-yeah.” It comes out small and shaky, and while she thinks she knows why, she tamps that down tight as she crawls over to sit beside him. Even though it’s oppressively hot, she still tucks down into his side when he lets his arm fall over her shoulders. Perfect spot and perfect timing too, but she doesn’t watch the sky when she hears that familiar whistle and pop of rockets, choosing instead to see the light burst and shatter over his face, the slow fall of it in his eyes. And there’s no tamping it down now, that feeling starting to fizz and lift in her chest, and as she continues to watch each succession of color and sound wash over Joel’s parted lips and wide eyes, she knows that she is absolutely, irreparably, fucked. 

“You’re not even watching.” 

“Yes I am.” He’s not watching anymore either, looking at her down the length of his nose, all shadow between the quick fractures of light. Their chins bump first before they get it right, seeking each other out by feel. His hands finding her hips, squeezing and coaxing her into his lap, though he pulls away when the next resonant crack of fireworks splits the sky and her whole body tenses. 

“You don’t like the sound?” 

“It’s not my favorite thing.” No, she doesn’t like that sound. That sound that reminds her of the whole lot of not funny going on in her household, but she’s already leaning in to forget all that with her mouth pressed to his. Though Joel holds her back, firm palm, big palm, steady and curled at the nape of her neck. 

“Is it okay though? You’re okay?” It doesn’t help her case when another stream of fireworks sets off just as he asks it, her body jolting in his hold again, but she tries to pass it off with a breathy laugh. 

“It’s fine, Joel. I’m fine. Just come here, please.” He relents, his hand slipping down along her spine to press her closer as she opens his mouth with hers, a shared sigh and the quiet scrape of teeth, her palm splayed over his chest feeling the thrum of his moan when she licks into his mouth. He’s being careful, she can tell, and she doesn’t think it’s only because they can just barely see each other in the dim light and the punctuated bursts of brightness from the fireworks, his hands splaying wide along the span of her back, holding her so close that every time her muscles tense and jump at the sounds it just sends her closer into his arms. He’s steady, perfectly, his thumbs stroking back and forth along her spine, constant and lulling until she knows that the fireworks are still going on, the pinpricks of light in the periphery, but she can no longer hear them over the rushing in her ears and the way she’s trying to collect every breath of his with her own. 

And she just wants more, however she can get it, his stomach tensing up when her fingers slip beneath the hem of his shirt, only pulling away enough that he can help her tug it over his head. Always so warm beneath her hands, she keeps one palm in the center of his chest, finding that pulse, that beat that always seems so strong to her, as Joel’s hands begin to wander. Ever predictable, the first stop of his circuit is her ass, both palms splayed and squeezing, making a weak noise fizzle out in her throat as he rocks her forward into the hardness in his jeans. From there, his palms slip down to the meat of her thighs, another squeeze, his fingers flickering under the hem of her shorts. Their kiss breaks with a quiet click, lips shined and swollen with it as she leans back to peel her tank top off, though before she can unclasp her bra, Joel grabs both her wrists, his eyes wide and pleading.

“What’s wrong?” The fireworks have stopped, so she must squint in the shadows to see the way his eyes are drooping down, the dip and bob of his throat as he swallows.

“Nothing, I just– s’pretty.” He lets go of her wrists, his fingers coming up to ghost over the tops of her breasts, that slight spill of flesh over the top of her bra, a small sigh that she can see leave his chest as he watches her own inhale and exhale. 

“Do you want me to leave it on, baby?” She’s never called him that before, though judging by the broken groan that crackles in his chest, he liked it, a new warmth curling deep in her stomach at the sound. 

“Please, Cher.” She can’t help the grin that slips across her face, circling one of his wrists with her palm to draw it up to her lips, pressing a kiss to the pad of each finger before guiding his hand down to the waistband of her shorts. Quick to flicker through the button and zipper, it’s all slow moves as he surges forward and she leans back until she’s laying out in the bed of the truck with Joel between her legs and nothing on but that bra he seems to like so much. It doesn’t surprise her that he wastes no time in ducking his head down to mouth over the fabric of her bra, her spine arching up into the wet heat with a sigh. Though he’s gone just as fast, drifting further down over the fluttering rise and fall of her stomach, his lips catching below her navel before he settles between her legs with her thighs resting over his shoulders. 

He learned fast what she likes, with her hand in his hair and her words so quick to correct or to praise, he learned very fast. So she doesn’t have to say a thing now, a silent cry crackling in her jaw when he drags his tongue through the heat of her cunt. She can already feel a perfect bead of arousal dripping from between her thighs down the cleft of her ass as his mouth rests over her clit and he sucks, sharp, quick, before dipping back down and doing it again. He’s gotten more confident, more brazen about it, a little rough in the way his fingers dig into the swell of her thighs, demanding everything, open and willing and waiting for whatever he will give her. And she gives it to him, fingers threaded through his hair to tug when his teeth graze too tender, her spine strung tight and taut as her cunt clenches around nothing. The sound is obscene, a salacious secret amidst the hum of crickets and the close quiet of the night, the little hums he can’t seem to stop rising in his throat as he eats at her, the slick slip of it, and the gentle, but still there, rock of the truck from how he’s grinding his hips down, seeking out more just the same as her. 

His one palm slips under the curve of her ass, tilting her hips up toward his mouth as he continues to lick and suck at her cunt, all that pleasure starting to hurt, starting to snap and snarl as she tugs a little harder at his hair. 

“I– more– something more, please.” He lifts his gaze from its hazy drop, the whites of his eyes still hooded and shining up to her as he rests his cheek against the soft inside of her thigh, the little pants of his breath washing over her cunt and making her hips twitch. 

“You want more?” She would smack him for looking so smug if she didn’t need it so bad, settling instead for another tug in his hair that makes him puff out a laugh. He doesn’t wait for any more of an answer, happy to oblige with two of his fingers dragging down through her swollen cunt before dipping inside, heat shooting up her spine when he curls them just so, that small stretch, that ache, that want. He presses a kiss to the inside of her thigh before his teeth sink into the flesh, his fingers already finding a steady rhythm that’s making her buck up into his hand. 

“Yes– just like that– I want– I want–”

“You want it?’

“Uh-huh.”

“You need it?” 

“So bad, Joel, please.”

“I know, Cherry, look at you, huh? So perfect like this.” He continues to coo at her in that low hum when it finally catches up with her, that pleasure pulling taut fraying all at once, her whole body curling in tight and tense and then releasing with a languid moan. My girl, my fucking girl, so good, my good fucking girl. She hears it somewhere in the back of her mind, tucking it away behind the wall of sound and sense still coursing through her as her hips jolt in his grasp, so sensitive that tears start to pearl along her lashes. She thinks her heart might actually stop when he finally pulls his fingers away and up to his mouth, sucking each one with a hum and an absurd pop before he crawls up her body to give her a taste. 

Her hands are already tugging at his jeans, only a bit surprised when she manages to ruck them down and finds that he isn’t wearing underwear. 

“You are such a freak.” He laughs, leaving a harsh nip to the hinge of her jaw.

“I don’t see why you’re complaining, it’s easy access, Cher.” She only manages to get his jeans down over the curve of his ass, but it’s enough so she can slip her palms down and dig her fingernails into the flesh in retaliation, Joel groaning and dropping his forehead down to her sternum. 

“Be nice.”

“You be nice.”

“You’re the one that called me a freak.” 

“And it stands.”

“If I’m a freak then you’re a–”

“Careful, baby.” 

“You’re a menace.” He hisses out the word as he spreads her open on his cock in one slow drag, the both of them sighing as he stills inside her. For a moment the only sound is their ragged breaths. Slow movements, his hand curling around the back of her knee to draw it up against his hip, another small rock that makes her preen with how full she feels. Her mouth stays stamped at his hairline, words murmured there as she curls her arm around his shoulder blades. 

“I’m a menace?” 

“Uh-huh, you d-drive me insane.” His words come out breathless as he finally pulls his hips back, a little more force in his next thrust that makes a whine tear through her chest. He’s so deep, grinding his hips into hers even deeper and all she can do is take it, her heel digging into his low back as he does it again and again and again. 

“Well you drive me in-insane too– oh.” The words slip out in stilted stutters, tears dripping cool and sticky down her flushed cheeks as he finds a different movement, one that’s harder and meaner, rucking her up the bed of the truck with every shunt of his hips against hers, his chest pressed tight against hers, sweat beading and dripping between her breasts.

“Oh yeah?”

“Uh-huh.” Pitchy and high in her throat, she can’t help it when he slips a hand between the humid stick of their bodies to drag his fingers against her clit. 

“Good.” It isn’t long before they’re both unraveling around each other, his forehead pressed hard into hers, the weight of him heaving and draped over her, stifling and sweaty and perfect. Her whole body shakes with the panting laugh he lets out, finally resting his chin between her breasts to look up at her. 

“My little menace.” She can’t help but laugh too, his cheeks splitting into a grin at the sound. 

“My big freak.”

“Hey.”

…

“Oh my god.”

“What, what is it?”

“I think that’s Ellie and her date.” 

“Where?”

“Don’t be so obvious about it, two rows down, across the aisle.” Her hand is on his shoulder, her finger pointed right next to his face to guide his gaze toward where she’s looking. Sure enough, it’s Ellie, sitting very close to another girl on the bleachers, oblivious to the crush of the crowd around them, smiling and laughing to each other as they wait for the fireworks to start. He never liked watching from inside the stadium, thinking that all the bright lights sort of defeated the purpose, but now he’s grateful for them so he can get a better look to confirm that yes, that is definitely Ellie who is now putting her arm around her date, getting even cozier. 

“Oh my god.” He finally looks away to see Cherry hanging on his shoulder, perfectly mortified at the sight in front of her.

“You got a regular Casanova on your hands, Cher.” 

“I feel like I’m going to cry, or maybe scream, or maybe throw up.” He’s watching her watching them, her brow crumpled and her jaw completely slack, pure shock. He’d laugh, but he’s pretty sure he’d be in a far worse state if he saw Sarah in a similar position. 

“Hey, it’s okay, they’re just–”

“Oh my fucking god, look!” His eyes dart back just in time to see what he’s pretty sure is the end of a kiss, the young pair shyly pulling away from each other with small smiles.

“Oh, Jesus Christ.”

“Do you think that was her first kiss?” It’s such an absurd question. He’s only just met the kid, after all. But when he looks back at Cherry and sees the pleading tilt of her eyes, how could he not try his best?

“Well, I don’t know, Cher, do you?” Maybe his best wasn’t very good.

“I don’t know. Oh fuck, I shouldn’t have seen that. I should not have seen that. She’s too young for that, right? I should go get her, yeah, that’s what I should do.” She’s already starting to get up out of her seat, and all Joel can think to do is grab her hand to keep her where she is.

“Woah, woah, hey, I think they’re fine, Cher. Look, they’re just talking now.” She squeezes his hand, still looking at Ellie with a deep frown on her face, but she does sit back down. She’s still holding onto his hand while she worries her bottom lip between her teeth.

“You think so?”

“Tell me this, how old were you when you had your first kiss?” Suddenly, the worry in her face slackens, something a bit more bashful slipping into place. She’s still holding onto his hand.

“Well, I was thirteen.” 

“There you go, it’s normal then.” She’s still holding onto his hand.

“How old were you when you had yours?” She’s still holding onto his hand.

“I don’t know, probably thirteen like you.” She’s still holding onto his hand.

“You mean you don’t remember?” She’s still holding onto his hand.

“Not really.” 

“How can you not remember your first kiss?” She finally lets go of his hand, only so that she can talk with her own, a bit of flailing and exasperation at him before her hands settle in her lap. He rests his on his knee, a hard squeeze to stop any lingering want.

“I just don’t. It was a long time ago, and it obviously wasn’t very important.” 

“Do you at least remember who it was with?” He does, but she’s not going to like the answer, and suddenly the toes of his boots are very interesting as he scratches the back of his neck. 

“Uh, Maureen.” He says it as he drags his hand down his jaw, the name getting muffled beneath his palm. Cherry’s face scrunches up.

“Come again?” He really doesn’t want to say it again, but he knows she’s not going to give this up now, her chin tilted down and her eyes narrowed at him.

“Maureen? Maureen Henderson, yep.” As if a yep might make it better, but her brows have already done that thing, that familiar thing where they shoot up her forehead, then scrunch down again, then slacken.

“Huh, so Maureen wasn’t very memorable then?”

“Nope, not at all.” She purses her lips and nods, her eyes squinting out across the stadium for a moment. But before whatever is simmering below the surface can bubble over, the first booming firework goes off, and her whole body recoils. 

“Oh, motherfucker.” It happens again, another fizzle and crack, and as the crowd oohs and ahhs, she digs her fingernails into her thighs and grits her jaw. 

“That never got any better, huh?”

“Afraid not.” He wants to reach out for her, to curl his arm around her shoulders and pull her tight into his side, to absorb the shock that keeps resounding through her body. He knows how to, after all. 

“Is– is there something I can do, Cher?” Her eyes are a little unfocused, even when he ducks his head down to try to get her attention.

“You’d think that by now I’d have figured out that every loud sound isn’t–” Almost like a hiccup when the next rocket goes off. The only thing that’s different is that now, each time, first her eyes dart over to where Ellie is sitting, checking, making sure. He feels his heart ripping apart watching her. 

“Hey.” It comes out quieter than he meant it to, but her eyes still turn onto him when he puts his hand on her knee.

“You wanna go wait at your car?” She nods, and that’s enough for him to go into action, not thinking twice about taking her hand again and shepherding them both down one of the aisles further away from where Ellie is sitting. Back and forth, back and forth, his thumb stays steady and smoothing along her hand the whole way out of the stadium and into the massive parking lot.

“My car or yours, Cher?” 

“I don’t– I don’t– Ellie– uh, I–” She’s still holding tight to his hand, her eyes darting around the lot, clearly working herself into a state, the continued onslaught of fireworks not helping at all. 

“That’s alright. Cher? It’s alright, okay? Let’s sit in my car and I’ll drive you to yours when this is over.” He thinks she says okay, but he’s already focused on pulling her along to his car. And when they get in, him in the driver’s seat and her in the passenger’s, he realizes that, no, he’s not going to crack the windows, trying to keep as much of the sound out as possible. So he lets the car idle and cranks the AC up as high as it will go, and it’s probably going to burn up his tank of gas, but he doesn’t care, because it seems to muffle the noise of the fireworks just enough for her to start coming back down. He’s still holding her hand over the center console.

“Oh fuck, I’m sorry, Joel.” She takes her hand out of his, pressing her palm to her chest, letting out a long breath through her nose. 

“Don’t, Cherry. It’s okay.” She keeps her eyes closed and her palm against her chest, long inhales and exhales, and he realizes that she’s doing a breathing exercise. He only knows it because the shrinks at the VA started Tommy in on it when he kept having panic attacks after coming home. And something like anger settles in his stomach, slithering up and seeping out between his ribs, sickening and slick. Anger that no, this hasn’t gotten any better. Anger that no, this probably won’t get better. And no, no one deserves it, but he selfishly thinks to himself that she especially doesn’t deserve it. 

“Thank you.”

“You don’t have to thank me, Cher.” Her eyes finally slip open, head tilting onto her shoulder to look at him. Mercy, it’s passing. Mercy, he could help her through its passing. 

“So, Maureen Henderson, huh?” 

“Oh, you’re still on that?” Small smile, he’ll take it.

“You could have done better, that’s all.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Mmhmm.” 

“Well since you remember it so well, who was your first?” 

“You’re not gonna like my answer.” 

“Try me.” 

“It was Mikey Donahue.”

“No.” She was right, he didn’t like that answer, not one bit.

“Yeah, I think his friends dared him to do it, honestly.” 

“That little shit.” 

“Uh-huh.”

“You could have done better.” That gets a full smile from her, her nose scrunching up at the same time something takes off in his chest. 

“I guess we both could have.”

“Yeah, Cher, I guess so.”

...................................................

taglist: @casa-boiardi @tieronecrush @swiftispunk @beskarandblasters @trulybetty @amanitacowboy @pr0ximamidnight @wannab-urs @jksprincess10 @suzmagine @everything-isfucked @lanabobana @kittenlittle24 @sarap-77 @officerrrfriendly @val-srz @bitchwitch1981 @redwoodsanddaffodils @themothersmercy @romanarose @lost-inhawkins @youcancallmeelle @hollywoodcaligirl @

[spookuzm]

So uh I'm just gonna post my one shot from three months ago here

You can also read it on AO3

I'm kinda nervous for sharing this but I hope you guys will like this...

Tw: Brief mention of abuse, slightly suggestive (aka flirting)

—————

Summary:

You had been living with the skeletons for a while now. You get along with most of them, thankfully. Then one day, the skeletons decided that you were trustworthy enough to let you in a very big secret— all of them were the same two monsters; Sans and Papyrus!

And if that wasn’t shocking enough for you... They were also hiding their other alternates! The bigger versions of themselves!

Nervous to meet them was an understatement. Especially Red’s bigger alternate self. Just the thought of that made you terrified to your core. Red alone was scary enough for you, thank you very much.

—————

Read under the cut

“So wait,” you started, baffled by this. “The Multiverse Theory is true, and all of you are the same two monsters? Like, no joke?”

“yep,” Classic said, popping the ‘p’. “i may be a comedian, but there are some things even i won’t joke about. and this is one of them.” he gestured to himself and then to Blue and Red. Blue waved enthusiastically with a beaming smile as Red scoffed at the attention.

This was insane but the proof was literally right in front of you, and Classic himself even showed you the machine that pulled them into this timeline.

“But why..?” You muttered under your breath, gaining the trio’s attention. “Why trust me?”

“dats cause yer pathetic,” Red said harshly as you shrank from his words. Blue sent him a disappointed glare before turning to you with a gentle smile.

“WHAT RED MEANS, FRIEND, IS THAT YOU ARE A VERY TRUSTWORTHY AND NICE PERSON! AND YOU WOULD NEVER LET YOUR FRIENDS DOWN WITH BIG SECRETS!” Blue stated confidently.

You felt your heart warm up as you blushed slightly, giving him a soft smile. Blue has always been a positive guy, always spreading cheer to anyone around him. And the same goes to Creampuff. The three of you were the best of friends.

Red grumbled bad-temperedly as he left the room, Classic just shrugged at the interaction before teleporting away.

Blue lets out a ‘tsk’ before grabbing your hand as he begins to lead you to somewhere. “LET’S GO TO THAT RESTAURANT WE WERE TALKING ABOUT EARLIER, BEFORE THE WHOLE MULTIVERSE REVELATION THING.”

You arrived at where the skeletons parked their vehicles. Blue’s ride was a blue motorcycle, and he calls it ‘his precious’.

“Uh, sure,” you agreed, watching as Blue hopped on his motorcycle and put on a helmet.

“AND, FRIEND?” he said your name nervously as he gave you a helmet and you put it on, making sure it’s secured onto your head. You adjusted the straps, feeling the reassuring click of the buckle.

Blue inserted the key and brought the motorcycle to life, the roar of the engine echoing through the quiet lodge. “Yes?” you replied, hopping on the back.

“DID THAT— DID IT CHANGED YOUR PERSPECTIVE OF ME AND THE OTHERS?” he asked you nervously. “I MEAN— IT’S STRANGE, RIGHT? I’M LITERALLY THE SAME PERSON AS CLASSIC, BLACK, AND RED.”

He looked at you in concern, frowning. You stared at him for a moment before chuckling as you pat his shoulder in reassurance. “Blue, it doesn’t change a thing at all. You guys are so different from each other despite being the same person. I still see you as the Magnificent Blue. Classic as his punny self, Black as his calm and collected self, and Red’s a jerk.”

Blue sighed in relief before smiling once more. “LOOKS LIKE MY WORRIES WERE FOR NOTHING THEN.” he said as he revved the engine, propelling the motorcycle forward with a confident twist of the throttle.

~~~~

It was now the next day since they revealed their shocking secret to you. Nothing really changed, it was still the same as ever. And you aren’t planning to tell anybody.

You made your way to the kitchen, wanting to get some coffee as you stretched a bit. You glanced around as you recalled when you first got invited to live in with the skeletons. Blue was the one who instigated that invitation when he witnessed you get kicked out from your abusive ex.

You bumped into Black along the way as you stammered out an apology. He scoffed indignantly at that before he spoke. “HUMAN, I SUPPOSED THAT THE INSUFFERABLE VANILLA FINALLY TOLD YOU THE TRUTH?”

You tilted your head in confusion. “Vanilla? Do you mean Classic?”

“YES, NOW ANSWER MY QUESTION, HUMAN.” he spat as he crossed his arms, waiting for your answer.

“If you mean all of you being the same two monsters, then yes, he did.” You replied.

He nodded solemnly. “GOOD. NOW, THAT’S ONE WEIGHT OFF OUR SHOULDERS.” he stated vaguely, looking thoughtful.

“Huh? What do you mean?” You asked him as he stared at you for a moment.

“WOULD YOU BELIEVE ME IF I SAID THAT THERE ARE OTHER SANSES AND PAPYRUSES WE’RE HIDING?” Black told you with a smug grin, which caught you off guard. This was the first time you saw him having a different expression other than a neutral scowl.

You stepped back from shock, feeling a migraine coming from this sudden revelation. “Oh for star’s sake, dude, really?” you asked exasperatedly as he laughed, amused from your reaction.

“I’M BEING TRUTHFUL HERE, HUMAN.”

You sighed tiredly, rubbing your temples. “Well, at least you told me now rather than later. I really don’t want to suddenly see a new skeleton and not expect it.”

You went past him, wanting to grab a coffee. He followed you to the kitchen, and requested for coffee as well. You gave him it and cooked breakfast with Black for everyone in the lodge.

You placed all of the pancakes on the dining table, knowing full well that the lazy or laidback skeletons will wake up soon.

“So, how many of them are there? And what are they like?” You questioned him curiously as you took a sip from your coffee, sighing contently.

Black looked at his coffee before looking up, his eye lights bore onto you. “THERE ARE THREE PAIRS OF SKELETONS, YOU HAVE YET TO MEET. AND THEY ALL LOOK THE EXACT SAME AS CLASSIC AND CREAMPUFF, BLUE AND ORANGE, AND RED AND EDGE.”

You hummed, nodding along. “They are pretty much clones.” you couldn't help but comment.

“INDEED,” Black nodded as he drank his coffee. “BUT OF COURSE, THERE ARE SOME DIFFERENCES…” he trailed off for dramatic effect, making you anxious.

“Like what?” You asked, sweating slightly.

“SIZE DIFFERENCE, FOR ONE; THE SANSES ARE ALL SIX FEET FIVE INCHES TALL, AND THE PAPYRUSES ARE SEVEN FEET SIX INCHES,” he informed you nonchalantly as your jaw dropped.

“Holy shi-” You backpedaled when he narrowed his eye sockets at you. “Schnitzel! That’s crazy!” You quickly said.

He snorted in amusement as you slumped in your chair, staring at the ceiling. You wondered what they are like. Are they the same as the skeletons you know in terms of personality? Then your thoughts eventually landed on Red— the guy who always seems to despise you, perpetually in a sour mood every time you see him. Even his brother, Edge, managed to be friendly with you, despite his backhanded speech.

What was the bigger version of Red like? Was he the same as Red? Just imagining Red, but so much larger, looking down at you with scorn… The thought of it terrifies you.

“HUMAN,” Black’s voice snapped you out of your thoughts. “I RECOMMEND MEETING THEM TODAY, RATHER THAN LATER. THAT WAY, YOU’LL HAVE GOTTEN USED TO THEIR LARGE PRESENCE THE NEXT TIME YOU MEET THEM.”

“I don’t know, Black.” you muttered, uncertain about meeting them today.

“I DON’T WANT TO HEAR YOU SCREAMING WHEN THEY SUDDENLY APPEAR HERE ONE DAY,” he deadpan.

You thought about it once more, once again terrified meeting a larger version of Red. But after a few moments, you eventually nodded. Black huffed as he finished his coffee as Rus walked in, yawning.

Rus was a very quiet guy, only speaking when Black addressed him. You watched as Black yelled at him to get his own coffee, and Rus complied.

Rus took Black’s empty plate and mug, and surprisingly, yours too. He usually doesn’t want to involve himself with you, always so distant. Maybe he’s just in a good mood, You deduced.

“BY THE WAY, HUMAN. I WILL NOT BE ACCOMPANYING YOU WITH MEETING THE OTHER SKELETONS. YOU WOULD HAVE TO GET EITHER CLASSIC, RED, OR BLUE, TO GO WITH YOU.” Black told you as he stood up, his back turned. “I HAVE WORK TODAY, AND SO DOES MY BROTHER.”

You shrank in your seat, disappointed yet understanding. “Alright, I’ll go do just that. Thanks, Blank, it was nice chatting with you.” You said sincerely. If Black didn’t have his back turned, you could’ve seen the purple blush on his face.

You heard him huff before he left the room, leaving you alone with Rus.

You tried to start a conversation with him, but he only ignored you. You supposed that it was okay, the silence was comfortable anyway. You eventually decided to find Classic or Blue, to take you to the other skeletons Black was talking about. You waved Rus goodbye before going on a search to find Classic or Blue.

~~~~

You couldn’t find Blue and Classic anywhere. You went to their rooms but nothing. You even go to their favorite spots in the lodge, also not finding them there. You were getting a bit frustrated trying to find them before you bumped into Red.

“so what got you all worked up, huh?” Red spat, looking at you in disdain, and you felt yourself getting irritated by his gaze.

You clenched your jaw, trying to maintain your composure. “I’ve been looking for Classic and Blue, but I can’t seem to find them anywhere.”

“they’re visiting their friends together,” He shrugged.

“Their friends?” You asked curiously, calming down a bit.

“yeah,” he said simply. “and what do you need them for?” Now it was his turn to ask.

“Black told me that I should go meet the other skeletons you guys are hiding.” you told him bluntly. “And he said that I should go ask Classic or Blue so I can meet them.”

Red scoffed, crossing his arms. “of course that fucker did.” he grumbled. “if ya want to find classic and blue, they’re actually with the others right now.”

You deflated. “Oh, okay then.”

Red stared at you, then groaned, running a hand over his face. “aight, stop making that dumb as fuck face, i’ll take you over there instead. i was gonna go there anyway.”

“Really!?” you beamed, grabbing his hands in your excitement.

“yes, now can you let go of my hands.” he scowled at you, sweating a bit.

You blushed slightly before letting go of his hands, embarrassed. Red sighed before walking to the door that leads outside.

“ya coming or not?” he called out as he opened the door.

You ran up to him.

~~~~

You and Red were walking deep into a forest, surrounded by the sublime sights of nature. You were starting to think anxiously— thinking that Red was planning to murder you or something, finally getting rid of the person he despised.

As you look around your surroundings, you couldn’t help but glance at Red every now and then. He was ignoring you as he walked forward, an awkward expression on his face, sweating.

Ok, maybe you’re overthinking things; maybe Red was really leading you to wherever the other skeletons were, and not planning to kill you. But it was extremely awkward— you couldn’t muster up the courage to start a conversation with him at all. It was just that awkward.

But this was so much better than his usual demeanor; completely standoffish around you.

Red suddenly stopped in his tracks, and you followed suit, albeit in confusion. Then he pulled out a futuristic-looking device, pressing a couple of buttons. You watched as the trees in front of you shifted into a large mansion, making you gape.

“WHAT?!?” you screamed, trying to process what had just transpired. If you were looking at Red at that moment, you could’ve seen him looking slightly amused at your reaction.

“a big house for big idiots,” Red stated as he walked towards the mansion. You stood there for a moment before catching up to him.

The two of you eventually reached the fancy-looking front door as Red rang the doorbell. You heard loud noises coming from the other side, making you nervous. You watched as the door swayed open, revealing Blue, but he was much larger, making you feel tiny.

“Oh, Red! And You Have Brought A Friend Along!” his voice boomed. He had the same volume as Blue, thankfully. Though you had a feeling that it wasn’t his real volume.

“fuck no, they ain’t my friend.” he scowled.

“So, Just Acquaintances?” Larger Blue questioned, tilting his head in confusion. Red nodded at that as you sighed.

“Yeah, we’re just acquaintances, uh-” You trailed off when you didn’t know his name.

“Oh! I Forgot To Introduce Myself, Silly Me!” He chuckled heartily as Red went past him, getting inside the mansion. Larger Blue ignored him as he beamed at you. “I Am The Grand And Dashing Azure, At Your Service, Maiden!”

Aww, that’s such a fitting name— Wait, Did he call you maiden?!?

You blushed slightly as you told him your name. He knelt down as he kissed your hand gently, making your face explode, flustered.

He chuckled as he gestured for you to come in, a warm and welcoming smile on his face. “Come In To Our Lovely Abode, Dear Maiden. No Need To Be Shy.” You snapped out of your daze as you stepped in.

“Uh, Azure, have you seen Classic and Blue anywhere?” You asked as you watched your steps, feeling unworthy of walking around in such a grand mansion.

“They’re In The Living Room, Informing Us About You, Actually.” Azure hummed. “They Have Told You About Us Being All The Same Two Monsters, Right? Sans And Papyrus?”

You nodded as you smiled up at him, he smiled back but with a faint blush in his cheekbones.

He led you to the living room. If he weren’t there to guide you, you definitely would’ve gotten lost. You looked around in awe, spinning around. You caught Azure looking at you with adoration; you swear you saw his blue eye lights become hearts for a second.

You then suddenly got tackled into a tight hug. You knew who was hugging you, after all, he was the only person to tackle someone into a hug.

“MY FRIEND! YOU’RE HERE!” Blue exclaimed happily, making you giggle.

“Indeed I am,” You said as you hugged back.

Then Classic and his bigger self approached you, curious about the commotion. The gaze of Classic’s larger self landed on you, eye lights dilating. You don’t know if that’s a good thing or not. Blue stopped hugging you as you looked between Classic and bigger Classic.

“sup, kid. looks like you’re here.” Classic greeted you, his trademark grin on his face. Bigger Classic continued to stare at you, his eye lights wobbly, blushing slightly.

“Mhm. Red helped me get here, actually.” All of the skeletons present were genuinely surprised at that.

“MWEH HEH HEH! IT SEEMS RED IS FINALLY OPENING UP TO YOU!” Blue laughed as the others chuckled.

You blinked, recalling Red’s face as he led you earlier in your mind. “You really think so?”

“OF COURSE!”

You giggled at that, before looking up to the bigger Classic, who seemed to flinch at your gaze, his blue blush became brighter. The others were trying really hard not to laugh, they would feel very bad for him if they do. 

You watched as he started to sweat nervously, looking away from you. You feel bad for this sweetie, he was just really shy and anxious to meet strangers like you. You were like him once, but you got over your anxiety after you met Blue. He was very gentle with you, always soft spoken back then. 

You don't want to scare this guy.

“What’s up, big guy?” you greeted softly, smiling gently.

“um- uh, hi!” he squeaked before pulling his hood up, hiding his face from the world.

Classic nudged him gently, a smug grin on his face. “kid, we call this sweet guy ‘marsh’.” you heard Marsh groan in embarrassment at Classic’s statement.

“Aww, his name is cute! He’s really mallow out.” you giggled at your own joke. If he's anything like Classic then jokes would make him open up, right?

“oh stars- marry me.” he muttered under his breath, but you could hear him just fine, your face turned pink as you looked at him in shock.

He immediately backpedaled, his eye lights dilating in horror. “wait! i didn’t mean-!”

Classic burst out laughing, clutching his stomach, and the others followed suit. You hesitantly chuckled along when Marsh laughed awkwardly.

“ay, what’s all this ruckus about?” A deep and gruff voice interrupted, gaining your attention. You immediately shrank, already intimidated by this new large skeleton. Oh god, you dreaded this, but you need to be brave.

You were already sweating a lot, just his presence was enough to scare you. Big Red’s gaze landed on you before smiling, his red eye lights seemed to soften, which caught you off guard.

“heh,” his expression screams ‘I’ve been waiting for this moment’. “do you have a map of this place? i keep getting lost in your eyes.”

“What?” You said, dumbfounded.

He reached out to you, placing a gentle hand on your cheek, making your face explode in red. He chuckled as he spoke. “do you have sunburn in your face, or are you always this hot?”

You were stunned by the difference between him and Red.

He withdrew his hand, grinning wolfishly. “but damn, i wish i had a picture frame with me, ‘cause, sweetheart, yer picture-perfect.” He said, his voice low and suave.

The other skeletons were watching this unfold, some were amused, and some were jealous at the easy flirting.

You sent him a pointed look, pointing your finger at him. “Stop,” he chuckled as he raised his hand in surrender.

“the name's crimson. can i get yours or can i call you—”

“Oh my god, please stop.” You pleaded, groaning as you covered your face.

“aww, don’t hide your cute face, sweetheart.”

You glared at him, feeling extremely embarrassed. The skeletons in the background (except Blue, he just stood there in shock) were watching this like a romcom show, entertained, making you groan in exasperation.

Blue snapped out of whatever stupor he was in. “ALRIGHT! ENOUGH OF THIS, CRIMSON! YOU’RE MAKING THEM VERY UNCOMFORTABLE!”

But this was okay with you... You had expected the giant skeletons to be intimidating, but they weren't like that at all; they were charming, sweet, and giant softies.

~~~~

Red was watching this from the background, appalled and disgusted. He just couldn’t believe that this guy was a version of him! He’s just a complete idiot!

He was embarrassed to be in the same room as Crimson. He didn’t want to be compared to that idiot.

B̶u̶t̶ ̶C̶r̶i̶m̶s̶o̶n̶ ̶ia ̶l̶i̶t̶e̶r̶a̶l̶l̶y̶ ̶h̶i̶m̶,̶ ̶a̶n̶d̶ ̶h̶e̶ ̶was brave enough ̶to show h̶i̶s̶ ̶r̶e̶a̶l̶ ̶s̶e̶l̶f̶

H̶e̶ ̶w̶i̶s̶h̶e̶d̶ ̶h̶e̶ ̶w̶a̶s̶ ̶b̶r̶a̶v̶e̶ ̶l̶i̶k̶e̶ ̶C̶r̶i̶m̶s̶o̶n̶.̶

[maikissed]

being a girl in love III

Kylian Mbappé x reader, au

I like these two, I've decided to give our girly a name in this one, planning to make more chapters because why not 🤭 I used some french, so forgive me for any wrong spelling haha Anyway enjoy!

warning: soft smut

As she stood at the end of the room with her eyes glued in one direction she felt like a main character of an exhausting satire in which love as it is all around seems to avoid her at all costs, making her yearn for it to come and embrace her, yet instead flee away every time she tries to reach for it, laughing at her face as it does. Is it a curse of a young soul? To feel the love that instead of filling you it’s leaving you hollow? Or is it a tragedy of all human being? To feel at all?

Breathing steady she watched him being surrounded by a group of girls, each of them so hungry for his attention. He’s always been this person, confident and so charismatic, full of magnetism, making everyone drawn into him. But lately he’s been turning into something even bigger, a star, and he was shining already, she could see that clearly. Those wonderful opportunities that kept coming to him made her proud and joyful, of course! But it kept digging at her heart at it’s best, taking him away from her. She wondered how much time has she left, to see him the way she has had all this time.

She brought the tall glass up to her lips feeling slightly ridiculous standing there stiffly, dressed in a carefully selected little outfit. It wasn’t something provocative yet the short tennis skirt that revealed her long legs started bugging her, bringing in thoughts as if she tried too hard to drawn eyes to her. And there she was, hiding in a corner in a pretty, neat skirt and her lips glossy.

“Do you need a refill?” she heard somebody’s voice on her right.

Still holding the glass near her lips she brought her eyes to the side to meet with a very bright blue ones of a boy at least two heads taller than her. Quite pleasant height difference, she thought. But without a word she simply handed him her glass still half full of the drink and passed him, heading straight to the stairs that lead to the second floor of the house. At least she was at her place, so she choose to hide for the rest of the night somewhere where she can stop pretending. And she didn’t realise that somebody’s dark curious eyes followed her up. 

She didn’t mind the loud noises echoing through the walls, though it was slightly quieter as she curled up on her bed with a book in her hands. Unfortunately she could not focus on the words displayed in front of her, as she kept re-reading sentences and turning back pages to understand the strand of the plot. What was it again? But what can be done, the one who loves must share the fate of the one he loves*.

Suddenly there was a knock on the door of the room. It startled her.

“Zoe? Are you in there?”

She froze when she realised it was Kylian’s voice, still she got up and reached for the knob. The first thing she felt was his fresh, citrus scent, then she felt her heart at the bottom of her stomach. God, so that’s what they meant when they said love makes one stupid.

“Why did you sneak out so quickly?” he asked effortlessly.

“I was bored”

He simply nodded at her answer, briefly looking behind her as if to check if she was alone.

“Can I come in?” his voice low and calm.

After letting him inside she headed back straight to the bed and he followed. It didn’t surprise her at all. It has happened before.

She snorted noticing him making himself comfortable with his head rested on the biggest fluffy pillow in her collection.

“Were you not enjoying the party?” she asked curiously, grabbing back the book that laid on the nightstand.

“I got a bit tired”

“What is it? You don’t like it?” her index finger rested at the edge of the book page.

“What?” he curiously turned his head in her direction.

“The attention” she looked back at him.

His eyes were so dark, it might have the power to hypnotize against your will. But she looked nonetheless.

A smug smirk appeared on his face, the one that always made him look like a cocky bastard. She loved it. She bit the inside of her cheek trying to surpass the foolish grin.

“It’s nice but I don’t really care for it”

She gasped sarcastically.

“A teenage boy, does not care for a women attention” imitating a shocked face she laughed afterwards.

He rose up on his elbow to face her. A gentle smile still visible on his face.

“So we’re talking about women attention?”

She rolled her eyes focusing back on the open pages on her lap.

“You’re getting a lot of it” she shrugged.

“Is that wrong?” his voice turned lower.

She stiffened. The paper under her palm started turning tacky.

“No..” she replied drawlingly.

Her features frowned in concentration as she pretended to read her book in utter fascination.

“What are you reading?” changing the subject he did not move the slightest.

She could feel his heavy gaze on her. The ghost of their previous conversation still lingering above them.

“Master and Margarita”

“What is that?”

“It’s a novel of Russian literature”

“Sounds tough”

She smiled at his answer.

“Would you read to me?”

His question struck her dumb. She brought her eyes up to look his way. His expression softer than before.

“Out loud?”

His eyes glinted in amusement as he noticed her confusion. It was really sweet, her eyes turned round and sparkly.

“You can whisper if you prefer. But you have to move closer or I won’t hear very well” he joked laying his head back on the pillow.

She considered. Looking back at the top of the chapter she cleared her throat with intention to read the first sentence. But surprisingly something different left her mouth. And she almost bit off her own tongue at the sound of it:

“Did you fuck Lea?”

She could feel a little stir on the side, but did not dare to look.

“Is that in the book?” he asked.

“No, it was a question” she commented almost bringing herself in dismay of this straightforwardness.

But it was done.

“Who’s Lea?”

She shot him a scolding look. She chose to act insolent and he decided to play dumb. What a fantastic combination.

“That friend of yours? I don’t really know her. What kind of question is that?” his voice turned stern and it made her uncomfortable.

She regretted the question deeply.

“Forget about it” she shrugged trying to stand up but he caught her arm in time, making her sit back down.

“Zoe” he murmured searching for her eyes.

Oh, she was in trouble. She looked up into his big eyes and felt so, so stupid. Why she has to be so stupid? A little wrinkle appeared between his brows.

“I made a mistake, sorry” she tried to play it off, because something was seriously wrong here.

She could read in his expression that he would not let it pass forgotten so she sighed in surrender.

“She said that you were together at Theo’s party few weeks ago”

“Doing what?”

“Kylian” she protested begging him in her thoughts to not make her say it.

He moved, sitting back and leaning his back against the pillows.

“You started it” he snapped back.

It angered her that he was so agitated with this subject. Maybe she had no right to ask, but she did not like this attitude he was showing.

“I don’t know what she said to you but I didn’t touch her, ever. That’s fucked up”

“So she lied, it’s settled”

She stood up feeling the urge to create some space between them since the atmosphere switched from warm and friendly into an awkward quarrel. Looking at the clock on the dresser she realised the time was very late and she would love to change from her indecently short skirt to some comfortable sleep shorts. The weight of the silence that formed in her room squeezed at her throat. She wondered what he was thinking about now, glad that he actually denied if something ever happened between him and her friend. Or maybe he was the one who lied, but why would he feel the need to?

She heard the movement on the bed behind her and tensed wondering if he’s going to leave her because of this pathetic act of impudence directed his way. And she will regret it to the point where it starts eating at her heart.

“Come here” he called to her, gently but his low and deep voice caused shivers to run down her spine.

The word choice almost knocked her out. A demand that made her legs go weak. And how dare he make her feel like this? Small and so full of desire that she couldn’t even think straight? Was it his intention to fuck her up all the way?

As a stubborn and proud girl she was she turned around keeping a vexed face on. He was sitting at the edge of the bed with his elbows propped on the knees.

“Are you trying to boss me around in my own room?” a shaky breath out.

He did something and she noticed. He eyed her down, eyes high on her legs. God.

“I’m sorry” he snickered “Zoe, would you please come and sit next to me?”

She hesitated biting on her lip. Slowly she approached him and he straightened up.

“I’ve never been with a girl” he confessed looking at her confidently.

For a moment she stopped breathing, surprised by his words, confused since she was sure he must have already reached for something that’s been presented to him on a plate. These girls has been dying to have a moment with him, to talk about nothing with him, to spend time in his presence, to touch his arm, to lend him notes if he asked or a goddamn pen during class. He had so much confidence and charm around him, there was no way… But he spoke the truth and he wasn’t ashamed of it. She saw it in his eyes.

She spoke nothing back yet.

“You? Have you been with someone?” he asked looking away and she went stiff.

“No” her voice weaker that she thought it would be.

“I saw you with Jules couple of times” he fiddled with his fingers and she frowned in curiosity.

He broke the character, it was a sign of nervousness.

“He’s not exactly someone I want” she whispered observing his reaction.

Finally he looked back at her and her heart stopped once again. Wherever this was going she surely is going to loose her mind in the meantime.

“So” he continued “There is someone”

She nodded slowly.

“Do I know him?” he frowned blinking fast as if unsure if he should even ask.

“Mhm” she murmured fighting the need to kiss him now in this moment, her body full of doubt if it won’t be another tremendous mistake of hers.

But he saw something in her eyes. She wasn’t sure what but his own iris shone so vividly and shortly after he reached with his hand to tuck a loose strand of hair behind her ear. A breath caught in her throat. He heard that.

Her loving heart almost burst through her chest, pumping the hot blood in every vain as if it was bringing back life into her limbs.

Unexpectedly he wrapped his arm around her middle and pulled her closer to him, one of her legs bent at the knee met with his hip so he put the other over his thigh to minimalize the distance. Her skirt hiked up ridiculously high and it hit her again, the need. She was so unexperienced but she wanted to strip herself bare in front of this boy, to show him it belonged to him. Since the first moment she started changing into a woman.

They both weren’t sure what to do then, so the next moments were full of deep stares, their breathing mixing and their hearts beating to each other. So sweet and so blissful it felt like a dream.

Bringing up her hands she put them on his nape thinking about nothing else but his lips so close. She couldn’t tell who leaned in first but when they finally kissed something instantly switched inside of her as she came to the realisation that he wanted her the same way she wanted him. And she had him here, under her palms. Both of them a bit nervous about the gentle contact yet determined to have a proper taste of each other. She opened her mouth feeling his tongue grazing her lower lip and an uncontrolled moan left her throat when it connected with hers. He wasn’t her first kiss but it felt so new, she’s never been kissed this way. He broke the contact at the little sound and the look on his face was so full of desire it made her head spin. Two horny teenagers at the verge of resilience.

All of a sudden in the midst of it all there was a knock on the door. The noise from downstairs came back more prominent and the reality struck her hard. Someone pulled at the doorknob shortly after and she froze in distress. Luckily the door was locked.

“Zoe?” she could tell it was her brother “Have you seen Kylian?”

She locked eyes with Kylian, watching a mischievous smirk appearing on his face.

“Je dors, Anto (I’m sleeping)” she answered, her voice suspiciously shaky.

Her brother was definitely too drunk to notice anything misplaced. Kylian squeezed her thigh and she jumped nervously sending him a scolding look.

They waited a few seconds but there came no response, only some voices disappearing down the corridor.

“They’re going to kill me” Kylian muttered placing a hand on her cheek, thumb tracing her lips delicately.

“My brothers?” she placed her hands on the boy’s chest, making him rest against the pillows.

Carefully she straddled him, positioning herself in the most perfect way it made his eye widen. She could feel him already and all the muscles in her tummy twitched making her loose her breath for a second. She had a lot of trouble breathing tonight.

“You’re a big boy Mbappé, you can handle them”

His hands reached for her hips as if to stop her from any movement or to try and guide her against him. Yet he stayed still, his touch soft but firm. That magical feeling she tasted back then in the river came back thousand times stronger.

“Are you planning to stay and hide in my room till the morning?”

“All alone with you in this bed? It’s risky” he murmured admiring her seated on top of him.

It struck her with a huge dose of confidence. She lowered her upped body, placing her hands on each side of his head. He couldn’t take his eyes off her, pupils blown wide with his mouth slightly ajar. She was mesmerized at the sight of him, her dream boy, she intended to keep him hers. She felt she had all the power right now to make it that way.

She leaned in and kissed him gently before moving away to grab the edges of her sweater to pull it off her body. His eyes glinted as if he was a little boy gifted the fanciest present he could ever dream of. She watched him intake a big breath.

“I’m a dead man” he shook his head as his eyes roamed her chest covered by a silky material of the bra.

She liked this one, so she was glad she wore it tonight. Small victories. 

She smirked watching him get up to pull her closer to his chest. Tingles spread quickly all over her body after he placed his hot lips on her collarbone, tracing the delicate skin of her neck to finally reach her mouth. He hummed into the kiss making her press herself firmly against him. It stunned both of them as they could feel their bodies respond to this intimate touch.

“Merde” he breathed “Can this pretty skirt go?”

She smiled shyly at his question, moving away from him to stand up, confidently reaching for the zipper of the clothing, making sure she’ll make a little show of taking it off. She slid the material off her hips and down her thighs slowly, his eyes following the movement in utter fascination. Zoe blushed furiously as he focused his attention on her clothed sex.

“It’s not fair” she said “You’re fully clothed”

He smirked amused.

“I’ll undress if you do a spin”

The requirement made her chuckle.

Oh, boy.

“Am I a model at an exhibition?” she bantered.

“Tu es la plus belle fille sur laquelle j'ai jamais posé les yeux (You are the most beautiful girl I have ever laid my eyes on). Please, can I see you?”

The look on her face turned serious. Her heart squished with affection, she’s never heard such words filled with admiration of her beauty. Easy way to make a girl fall for a boy, but she trusted him.  

A bit unsure she took a step taking her time to turn around, letting him observe her body as he wished. Gentle move, she felt as if wasn’t sexy enough to impress him. He was already on his feet when she faced him, taking his shirt off swiftly. She blinked quickly feeling her cheeks heat up at the sight which wasn’t new to her, it’s the situation so knew and so exciting. Stepping closer he reached for her, pulling her closer, his nose nuzzling her ear.

“Your heart is beating so fast” he whispered and she giggled remembering their little moment in the river.

Guiding her fingers lower down his chest, taking pleasure in the feeling of his silky skin under her palms, she reached for the button of the pants he was wearing. She was desperate to feel him again against her. Looking into his eyes she searched for permission.

“Go on” he murmured, his hands low on her back.

He brought his lips back to her throat, the sensation made her close her eyes, head thrown back, fingers shaky at the top of the zipper of his pants. She whimpered when he bit down at the skin near her ear. His pants already on the floor. Taking her hand in his he guided them back to bed.

I really just cut it in the most interesting moment.........

*Michaił Bułhakow, Master and Margarita, 1967

[kyleraynermybeloved]

Video Calls Away

Pairing: Mickey 'Fanboy' Garcia x NavySEAL!Reader Summary: Videos calls are the only things that make the distance bearable. Warnings: Tiniest bit of angst if you squint, fluff Word Count: 921 A/N: Another drabble to the TWAHF collection! Also I am VERY sorry for literally dissapearing for half a year, I'm currently working on more stuff and should be posting a little more frequently now that I'm back! TWAHF Masterlist

Being apart from Mickey when either one of you were away was one of the hardest parts of your relationship. The one thing that made the trips away bearable were the frequent phone calls.

Through the phone screen Mickey had propped up so you could see the items he was holding up were two shirts to choose for his attire to a team party he was currently running late to. A situation he wouldn’t be in if he had listened to you days ago. Instead, he had put it off at the last minute wanting to have your input when you were next available.

“You know… I think the blue shirt would look better. The brown one clashes too much with the pants, you’ll look like a bigger dork than you already do now.”

His furrowed brows gave off the only indicator he was put off by your comment. You so badly wanted to reach through the phone screen and smooth it out with your thumb. Instead, you opted with a smile and a little laugh.

“Yeah okay, blue it is. It’ll match Reuben’s outfit, we’ll be the best matching couple there. Who knows, maybe we’ll get a prize.” He shrugged off his sweater and put the shirt on, doing a few turns for you.

“Remind me again why you’re not married to him?” Your eyes were focused on his form, missing the feeling of having him in your arms. Just three more days until you arrive home.

Mickey shot you a flat look, “I believe it’s because we’re madly in love.”

“Yes, I know you two are. Which is why I don’t understand how I got stuck with you.”

“It’s times like these where I wonder the same thing,” he sighed then grabbed the phone and brought it closer to him. “Do you know how much longer you’ll be? I’m actually starting to miss my snarky wife.”

There was a commotion down the hall that caught your attention and someone had called out your name.

“Not for too much longer, my love. I have to go now, tell Reuben I miss him and give his wife my love. I love you Mr. Garcia.”

“I love you more Mrs. Garcia, I’ll see you soon.” He blew you a kiss that you caught and pressed to your heart before hanging up.

*****

You had landed not long ago, asking a friend to drop you off home so you could surprise your husband. Once you arrived in the driveway of your shared home with your things set on the ground, you pulled out your phone and called Mickey.

The rush of excitement filled you, making it nearly impossible to keep the screen focused on you so none of your surroundings showed. You just wanted to see him again and here you were with a door being the only thing that separated you two.

He picked up on the fourth ring with a huge smile, “Hello my love! I wasn’t expecting you to call so soon, are you alright?”

You couldn’t contain the giggle that escaped you. He looked like he just woken up from a nap. The pillow marks visible on his face and his hair was tousled in a curly mess. “Good morning, love! I'm faring well, still tired but you know how that is. Anyways, I forgot I had ordered a gift for your mom and since I'm in service I got notified it was delivered. Can you do me a big favor and grab it for me?”

He shook his head at your antics, of course you'd wait until the last minute to inform him on important news. “Yeah, sure of course. Do you wanna be on call when I grab it or can we chat some more before I go?”

“No, I want to be on call. I have to make sure the right gift was delivered. Last time I ordered something when you were aware they sent me an entirely different package.” You thought of a lie before he could think of another reason to not do it.

“Alright, alright. Just bare with me for a moment while I make my way down.” From your view you could see him walking through your house towards the front door. The excitement was making you giddy and you tried to keep on your best neutral expression. “Okay, here we are. You ready to see whatever it is you got?”

“Ready as I'll ever be.” You wiggled your eyebrows, Mickey chuckled and you could hear it through the front door. He was so close to your reach now. If only he could just hurry up so the sun would stop burning you.

As soon as he opened the door you yelled, “Surprise, love!” You quickly hung up the call and ran to him, jumping into his arms as he spun you around. Neither of you could contain the excited giggles.

Mickey set you down only to pepper your face in kisses. Neither of you cared if any of your nosy neighbors witnessed the happy moment, you both were happy to be back in each other’s arms. Mickey gave you one last kiss and stared in your eyes, “I was going crazy without you. You don’t know how happy I am that you’re finally home.”

“I think I can take a guess,” you pulled away from him and leaned down to grab your things, handing him the larger bag. “Now, let’s head inside so you can fix me something to eat, I’m hungry.”

[moonlightsmasquerade]

Fear of the Deep: Crashing Waves

The first time Miriam Hopkins sees her brother after his untimely death.

It was the first summer Miriam wouldn't have her brother. 

Her father insisted on still going on the beach trip, despite her mother protesting that it wouldn't be right, not so soon after Sean was gone. They went anyway, the sky was dark and cloudy, it wasn’t summer weather.

Miriam remembered people in uniforms, two were police, one was a lady in a yellow and blue jacket. They came to their home, talking to her parents in hushed whispers, her father holding her mother as she wept. After they left Miriam’s parents had taken her and explained that Sean had left to help a friend, an accident happened and now Sean was gone, he wasn’t coming home. They used the word “gone”, not dead, an effort to still preserve the innocence of the child, but in little Miriam’s eyes if Sean was just "gone" he could still come back.

She hoped she'd see him at the beach.

Miriam watched the scenery pass by and held her red bucket in her hands, she wanted to collect some seashells. On their previous trip she and Sean had collected them, but they were tiny ones, she was hoping for a big pretty shell this time. As they pulled up to the beach it looked barren, no one was there. Miriam thought how perfect it was, no one else could take the shells she wanted, maybe she’d even get a big one. The family exited the car, her mother took a moment to tie Miriam's dark hair into two ponytails, stopping the wind from blowing it around. Her father told her to wait there while they got their things, and her mother joined him in grabbing the chairs and towels. She did wait a minute, looking at her parents still at the open hatch of the back of the car talking about something Miriam wasn’t really paying attention to. She was getting impatient, and she wanted to go play, so Miriam walked herself down to the beach.

The beach was at the bottom of a slightly raised hill, you had to walk down a set of creaky wooden steps to get down there. Miriam took careful steps, still holding tightly to her bucket. She reached the end and started walking, looking at the sand for anything colorful, occasionally stopping and grabbing at some smaller, slightly broken shells, which she still put in her bucket. Then she saw something bright white stick out of the sand, much bigger than the small shells before. She knelt down pulling the edge of the seashell, a whole one. Miriam smiled, putting her treasure in her bucket, then turned her head, looking at the waves.

Despite the strong wind the waves were eerily still. She stayed still a moment, listening to the wind when,

“Hello.”

Voices, they sounded like a group of children, but she couldn’t see any children around.

"Come play." the voices said.

“Where are you?” Miriam asked aloud to the empty beach.

“The water, come with us, come play.”

She could see shapes shifting in the water, a few faces popping up before going back down, they must be swimming, she thought. Miriam stepped closer slightly, before stopping, wondering if she should ask her parents first.

“Come join us in the water.” the voices sang.

Miriam hesitantly moved closer again, this time stopping when she saw something from the corner of her eye move, a shape running from the waves, she turned her head away from the water.

She saw a figure standing there. Miriam recognized him.

"Sean!" She turned around, away from the water. He motioned for her to follow him. She followed his instruction, and ran to her brother.

“Come back!” the voices called,

”COME BACK!” 

She ignored them. Miriam knew Sean wasn’t gone, she knew she’d see him again at the beach. She continued to follow him, and stopped when he did. They were back at the beach steps. She looked up at him, he looked tired, and had a cut on his head, she’d have to get him a bandage when they got home. 

“C’mon,” she said, he looked at her, and gave her a small smile. “We gotta go to mom and dad now.” she continued, his face suddenly changing and looking sad. Miriam reached her hand to his, ready to bring him to their parents, show them that she found him. 

"Miriam!" Her father suddenly shouted, running to her, picking her up and pulling her away.

Miriam hadn't seen the massive waves following behind her. Her father had grabbed her before the waves could pull her away. He held her close to him and moved quickly up the beach steps. She looked back to the beach, wild, thrashing waves covered it…

And Sean was gone again.

Miriam started to cry.

“It’s okay, you’re okay.” Her father attempted to reassure her.

“Oh god Miriam!” Her mother cried out when her father brought her back up to the car, she watched the waves calm down, still no sign of her brother.

“It’s alright honey, we’ll go home now-”

"No! We can’t go!" She sobbed, she pointed towards the empty beach. “We can’t leave Sean!” Her parents looked sadly at her. Miriam went back in the car, even through the commotion, she was still holding her red bucket, the seashell still in the bottom. She didn’t even get to show it to him. Miriam was angry, she finally had Sean back and now she lost him again. 

Why did he keep disappearing?

It wasn’t fair.

When they got home she tried to tell her parents again that he was at the beach. She saw him, they had to go back for him, but they weren’t listening. Her mom kept trying to comfort her, saying sometimes you think you see your loved ones who are gone, but really they’re in heaven. Miriam knew that wasn’t true, she saw him at the beach! He was there! Why weren’t they listening to her? The rest of the day she kept looking out the window, hoping Sean might have followed them back. 

It was the first time she saw her brother after he died, and it wouldn’t be the last.