#(the sword (swordy) is supposed to be me)

[wheucto]

isn't it mephone's birthday today (6/24)

[elyvorg]

Wandersong character rambles 3 of 3: Audrey

Wandersong is so incredibly good that I need to get all my Thoughts about it off my chest by writing a series of rambles analysing its three most important characters. Here’s the final one at last! There will be spoilers, obviously. Plus, this’ll probably be kind of hard to follow anyway for people who haven’t played the game. Go play Wandersong! You won’t regret it.

1 of 3: Kiwi (the bard)

2 of 3: Miriam

The bombshell

Encountering Audrey at the end of Act 3 was a huge, earth-shattering reveal for Kiwi. “Oh, hey, you thought you were chosen by Eya’s messenger as the hero who’ll save the world? No, actually you��re not the chosen hero at all; you’re nobody. Here’s the real chosen Hero: look at how cool and badass and swordy she is, exactly like a proper hero, not like some silly bard like you. And also? Your attempt to save the world was almost certainly never going to work anyway, and you should have just given up from the start.” Ouch. No wonder they moped around for half an act after that, with how badly they’d been wanting to be a hero and make a difference.

But that same moment would also have been an equally horrifying reveal from Audrey’s perspective. “Oh, hey, you thought you were chosen by Eyala as the hero who’ll save the world? No, actually, turns out she chose you to end it. Also, here’s this other person, some random nobody bard, whom Eyala also seems suspiciously friendly with – and apparently, they’ve at least been trying to save the world, unlike you.”

The thing is, Audrey’s grim task of ending the world is still necessary. The Overseers’ corruption is inevitable and cannot be reversed, only temporarily slowed. The world’s inhabitants would be stuck in a living hell for eternity if something wasn’t done – and the only thing that can be done (aside from the Earthsong, which has never worked) is to end this universe and start a fresh one. The “Hero” essentially exists to put the universe out of its misery once things inevitably begin to fall apart.

So, the problem with Audrey isn’t that she’s trying to end the world, because somebody literally has to, and that unfortunate somebody is her. The problem really lies more with how she responds to the part where having this task means she’s been arbitrarily designated “the Hero”.

This part’s kind of Eyala’s fault. A “hero” is not quite what you’d think to call someone with the job of giving the world and swift and painless end – but it’s pretty understandable given the circumstances. Way, way back in the very earliest cycles, the original few chosen people must have been extremely reluctant to carry out their task. How many cycles do you want to bet it took before Eyala started giving her chosen world-destroying warrior the title of “the Hero”? It’d be much easier to convince them to do it if she framed it like it was totally a good thing, including lying to them – or at least being very deliberately vague – about what killing Overseers even meant until the last one.

The only issue with this is the inevitable fallout when the “Hero” learns that they’re not really being a hero and saving the world at all. And since Audrey ended up learning this fact far sooner than she was meant to, this fallout is much more spectacular than it probably usually is. Especially because she seems to be a lot more desperate to be a hero than most Heroes probably usually are.

(I know the game doesn’t consistently capitalise the word “Hero” as referring to Audrey’s role, but I’m going to, because there’s a very pointed distinction between that and the normal definition of the word “hero”.)

End the world to be the Hero

When Audrey asks Eyala a little later, after killing the Queen of Winds, why she wasn’t told about the whole ending-the-world thing sooner, Eyala explains that it’s usually difficult for “normies” to understand why this needs to be done. That “normie” comment in particular really seems to get under Audrey’s skin – the idea that, despite having chosen her as the one and only Hero, Eyala nonetheless still sees her as a normal person. Heroes aren’t supposed to be normal people. Audrey’s not supposed to be normal. And apparently, the thing that makes Eyala assume that about her is the idea that she’d be freaked out over ending the world, huh?

But no, of course Audrey’s got to be more than just some normie. So she pretends to be super chill with it all (even though she definitely isn’t), with a cool, casual, “may as well be me, right?”. Eyala responds with “That’s why you’re the Hero!”, further cementing the idea in Audrey’s head that the Hero is supposed to be eerily chill with ending the world. By the way Eyala’s talking about it, if they weren’t, they wouldn’t be the Hero.

(In reality, this is probably never the case. That’s precisely why Eyala doesn’t usually like to tell them until the end! But that’s not how Audrey ends up seeing things.)

As a result, the next few times Kiwi and Miriam meet Audrey and interact with her, she appears to have settled into a sort of inherently contradictory doublethink in order to cope with what she has to do and make herself okay with it.

On the one hand, whenever possible, Audrey will act as if the fact that the world is ending has nothing to do with her actions. She calls her meeting with the king of Rulle to get the Overseer song “important saving-the-world business”, which is totally what she’s doing as the Hero, right. Kiwi and Miriam are the only other people in the world who know it isn’t, but that doesn’t stop her trying to frame it that way to them. She also frequently talks about how she needs to kill the Overseers to stop them corrupting the real world, and yet it turns out that things become at least equally corrupted once they’re dead anyway. Audrey even has the audacity to complain to Kiwi and Miriam that the spirit world is collapsing because three Overseers are dead, in a way that sounds like she’s blaming it on them. But, hm, I wonder whose fault that really is.

Yet at the same time, when she actually has to think about the fact that she’s ending the world, Audrey will be absolutely adamant that this is definitely what she has to do and wants to do and she’s completely okay with it.

Her justifications of this don’t even make any sense. She just clings to the circular logic of “I’m the Hero who has to destroy the world, that’s just how this works, I’m sure of it because I’m the Hero, and the Hero knows how this works.” She refuses to entertain any premise that involves her maybe not being the Hero, and she keeps repeating the words “that’s just how it works” to avoid thinking about the part where she doesn’t like how this works.

If she doesn’t end the world, she’s not the Hero. If she’s not making the right choice here, she might not be the Hero. If she’s freaked out and way out of her depth and isn’t even sure what the right choice to make is, then she’s definitely not the Hero. But no, she has to be the Hero, so she’s obviously making the right choice and obviously things happening this way is Just How It Works. The Hero knows best, and she’s the Hero, end of discussion.

As Audrey eventually more or less admits to Kiwi, albeit only when they’re trapped in a cave with no apparent hope of a way out, the reason she felt she had to hide all of her doubts about this is because otherwise, Eyala might think she’s not the Hero. She’s terrified that Eyala could revoke her Hero status and take away her power if she shows any kind of weakness in front of her.

Unfortunately, though all of Audrey’s desperate justifications to herself originated mostly for the sake of keeping up her façade in front of Eyala, they’ve become so ingrained that they’re still very much there even after she’s told Eyala to leave her alone. (It probably doesn’t help that, even aside from what Eyala appears to think, Audrey herself seems the type to personally agree with the idea that heroes need to be perfect and unflappable or else they’re not really heroes. That’s definitely how it works, right.)

There is a hilariously blatant contradiction between the way Audrey claims that she got rid of Eyala for telling her what to do all the time because “real heroes should think for themselves”, and yet she’s clinging to ending the world as what she has to do without actually truly considering whether it’s really what she wants to do. She says she’s not Eyala’s puppet, but she’s continuing to do precisely the thing that does just make her Eyala’s (or, like, destiny’s) puppet rather than having any agency of her own.

Kiwi even tries to point out to her that now that she’s ditched Eyala, she really can choose not to end the world. But Audrey’s having none of it. Obviously she has totally “considered all the angles” and come to a very rational conclusion here and isn’t just saying that so that she doesn’t have to actually think about it.

Maybe if Kiwi had had a chance to try and get through to Audrey sooner, they’d have made more headway. But at this point, Audrey’s spent several acts desperately justifying everything to herself while not being able to talk to anyone about how she really feels about all this, and all those built-up insistences and defence mechanisms have become nigh-unbreakable.

Audrey already knows she’s lying the moment she makes the promise not to end the world, and really she’s planning to break that promise as soon as she manages to get her sword back. In her mind, ending the world is a necessary part of her being the important chosen Hero. She’s spent so long focused on that by now that the thought of betraying some silly little bard’s silly little “promise” sure as hell isn’t going to make her throw it all away.

Despite Kiwi having fervently told her that she should be trying to find another way, as she’s trying to kill the final Overseer and end it all in Act 7, Audrey’s still clinging to her task like her life depends on it. She can’t ignore what she’s really doing any more, not now that the end of everything is right here – but instead, it seems like she might have twisted things around in her head and found a way to make herself okay with it anyway. It’s the whole entire universe, right? And she’s going to be the one to end it, the one who was chosen to end it. It might not be a good thing, but it’s a huge thing – the most important thing there has ever been. If nothing else will, this will make her matter.

Who’s the real hero here?

The thing is, when Audrey claimed that she ditched Eyala because Eyala was manipulative and kept telling her what to do, that wasn’t actually quite it. Audrey was the one who lied. As Eyala informs Kiwi later, the real thing she said to Audrey that set her off was something like, “hey, maybe you should let the bard get the Earthsong pieces before you kill each Overseer”. Seems a reasonable suggestion – let the world maybe be saved after all! – but Audrey couldn’t accept that. That’s because what she really heard from it is: maybe you should let that bard be the real hero instead of you.

Audrey’s other, bigger problem is the fact that she absolutely cannot stand that thought. She never, ever admits it, even when they’re trapped in the cave and she’s being more honest than usual about some things, but she is absolutely, blatantly 1000% jealous of Kiwi for being a better hero than she is and taking the spotlight away from her.

There’s a few little hints to this even before the big conversation in Act 6. In Xiatian, though Audrey ends up obligated to let Kiwi and Miriam join her in meeting the king, she makes a point that they’re her “flunkies” and outright refuses to let you walk ahead of her. She can’t stand the thought of Kiwi coming across as more important than she is. And then there’s that scene on the boat to Mohabumi, where Audrey’s attempt to get Kiwi and Miriam in trouble accidentally ends up making them seem cooler than her. She awkwardly leaves without another word, regretting everything.

You can even pick up on the fact that Audrey’s lying about why she got rid of Eyala in that conversation in the cave, before we hear it from Eyala herself. Audrey claims Eyala told her, apparently word-for-word, “the Earthsong is totally made up, and it’ll never ever work” – but this doesn’t even make sense. If the Earthsong is made up and doesn’t exist in the first place, then there is no “it” to potentially work or not work. The two statements contradict each other. Audrey is quite clearly bullshitting this whole claim and saying what she wishes Eyala had said, because she so desperately wants Kiwi’s quest to be futile. (Well, she’s either lying to herself here, or she’s lying to try to convince Kiwi to actually give up. Or, most likely, a bit of both.)

Not only that, but Audrey completely contradicts her insistence of “Eyala just told you what you wanted to hear” moments later when she makes it a point to clarify that, wait, Eyala actually explicitly told Kiwi they’re not the Hero? Kiwi confirms this, and then goes off on a big sad vent about feeling useless and wishing Audrey would do the right thing with her power, which goes completely over Audrey’s head because she’s so stuck on the they’re not actually the real chosen Hero after all, thank Eya, it’s still me.

(Audrey does give a brief “Really?” as Kiwi admits to being jealous of her, which is probably mostly about “wait really, you’re not the Hero?” but could also partly be a very heavily-suppressed “wait, you’re jealous of me?” Why would the obviously more heroic one here have any reason to be jealous of her?)

(I also love how blatantly she’s lying when she claims she doesn’t care if Kiwi thinks she’s the Hero or not. “It’s totally inconsequential,” yep. Hearing the person who’s actually been saving the world point out how unheroic her choices are is kinda getting to her, it seems.)

When the bugs show up to rescue them and Kiwi realises that they’re the one with the power to decide what happens here, saying that they could leave her here and go save the world right now, Audrey is Not Happy. “Don’t do that! That won’t…” Won’t what, Audrey? They’re going to save the world. Isn’t that a good thing? Doesn’t it ultimately not really matter if you get left behind in a cave so long as the world doesn’t end?

But no. She can’t allow that. She fakes her promise to Kiwi with the full intention of breaking it not only because she’s convinced herself she can’t not end the world, but also because she can’t afford to let Kiwi save it.

(It’s unclear precisely how the Earthsong was meant to work: whether, once assembled, it could have been sung at any time to fix the universe, or whether, like the Wandersong, it still needed to be sung after the last Overseer had been killed. If the latter is true, then Audrey could still have got to feel important by carrying out her task of ending the world while also letting it be saved. But it was never just about that.)

In Act 7, as Kiwi confronts her with the truth that Eyala never lied to or manipulated her, Audrey doesn’t even bother trying to deny it. Instead, she just frames it as “even Eyala turned on me”, and “she was WRONG”. She’s still utterly refusing to admit that maybe Eyala actually had a point about letting Kiwi try and save the world before she ends it – and she definitely won’t admit that perhaps Eyala really thought Kiwi was the better hero, despite who she officially chose.

After the fake-out first time she “kills” the Dream King (before the boss fight starts), Audrey declares, “I win!”. Like that’d ever have been her winning anything. It’s almost like the fate of the entire universe has twisted into a competition to her, to prove that she’s definitely more of a hero than them, that those two losers can’t make any kind of difference at all.

A bad way to be jealous

I love that this game’s three lead characters, who all want to be heroes in some way, are all jealous of at least one of the others for seeming more heroic than them. The big contrast is in how they deal with that jealousy.

Kiwi is so precious and non-malicious about it; they literally admit to it in the same breath as they remark that Audrey must be really special to be able to use the sword. Despite having grumbled a lot in the beginning, Miriam also manages to remain non-malicious about hers in the long run, admitting to being jealous of Kiwi at the same time as she admits that Kiwi inspires her to be like that too.

But Audrey? Not so much.

Those times she shot both Kiwi and later Miriam with her lightning-sword for no good reason were absolutely done out of jealousy. Audrey shot Kiwi right after learning that she’s really ending the world and Kiwi’s been trying to save it; it can’t have been anything but her lashing out in a heated moment of jealous anger at them for being better than her. (Sure, they were rushing at her – but she started charging her sword before they began to do that. And also, what was Kiwi ever going to do to her anyway? Angrily sing in her face?)

The time she shot Miriam was probably also a similar thing. Miriam had just been a hero to those two fairies by helping them escape – how dare she be more heroic than Audrey! And, no, Audrey’s The Hero Totally Knows Best excuse that Miriam shouldn’t have let the fairies out of the spirit world is simply a load of crap; the fairies are not corrupt or dangerous, and the spirit world was about to collapse anyway. (Not that shooting Miriam would have been justified even if that had been a genuine mistake; if someone makes a mistake, you don’t fix it by hurting them.)

It’s not Audrey’s fault that she’s feeling jealous of them, just like it isn’t for Kiwi and Miriam with their jealousy. Nobody can control feeling that way. But what Audrey can control is the way she acts as a result of her jealousy – and she chooses to act like a violent bully and use the fact that she’s the Hero to tell herself she’s in the right. That’s, uh… not a very heroic look for you there, Audrey.

There’s also some more signs of her tendency to put other people down to make herself feel better when she and Kiwi are escaping the cave. When she talks about Miriam, Audrey casually complains about Miriam’s personality like she expects Kiwi to agree with her. She secretly looks up to Kiwi and wants them to like her, not that she’d ever admit it, so she tries to gain favour with them by talking bad about someone she considers to be beneath both of them. That’s also the kind of thing a bully would do.

Naturally, Kiwi is having none of that crap and calls her out on it immediately, making it clear that they care about Miriam a lot more than her and refusing to let her forget the part where she hurt Miriam. It is so adorably Kiwi that they only vent how mad they are about her acting like a bully despite being the “Hero” when they’re thinking about how she hurt their friend. It is also very heartbreakingly Kiwi that they never even think to bring up the time that Audrey hurt them in exactly the same way with absolutely zero attempt at justification. (Their suffering doesn’t matter, right?)

In fairness to Audrey, this angry rant of Kiwi’s does get her to apologise for hurting Miriam and realise that that was not very heroic of her. But the way she explains her apology as “I’m doing my best to be the Hero and do the right thing” suggests that she’s mostly spurred to apologise because hurting someone makes her less of a hero. There’s still no particular indication that she simply genuinely feels bad for hurting someone, Hero or not.

Why care about people?

See, Audrey’s desire to be a hero appears to be largely self-serving, out of a desire for her talents to be admired and appreciated by others, not out of genuine desire to help other people regardless of what it means for her. She just doesn’t seem to have that selfless instinct that’s exactly the thing that makes Kiwi such a naturally good hero even when they don’t believe they can be.

When Kiwi is trying to explain to her why they were kind to the bugs, Audrey is really bad at grasping it. She gets stuck on “How did you even know they would help you?”, completely not getting that that’s not the point and that Kiwi was kind to them simply because everyone deserves kindness. Apparently she is thoroughly unused to the idea of doing something for others without expecting anything in return.

This is also illustrated by the part in Xiatian where she makes Kiwi and Miriam go buy a potion for her in exchange for meeting the king. She never outright needed the potion for anything; it’s just that it didn’t even cross her mind to help them without making them do at least something for her as payment. And it seems Miriam was correct in her assessment that really Audrey did this as an excuse to not have to help them, entirely on the basis that they didn’t help her first. Like nobody could possibly ever expect her – the Hero – to just, you know… do something nice for someone?

Also, in the bugs conversation: “Can you imagine how that feels?” “What, to step on bugs?” It does not cross her mind that Kiwi was obviously asking her to see things from the bugs’ perspective until they clarify. She’s just really unpracticed at caring about others.

Audrey explains to Kiwi that she was always strong and smart and pretty, but that none of those things made anybody care about her. Really, it’s fair enough that they wouldn’t, because those are pretty much just talents, things you have, rather than choices you make about the kind of person you are. But Audrey seems to feel like people should have automatically liked her just for those superficial reasons, rather than for anything about the way she acts. And since nobody actually did care about her for those talents of hers, things she was probably born with, she seemed to feel that there was nothing else she could do to change that. (At least, not until she happened to become the Hero overnight and suddenly her talents were awesome enough that people did care.)

But that’s not really how it works at all. That one crying dude who gets a dog in Chismest says something surprisingly profound in the ending: that while you can’t control whether other people care about you, you can control whether you care about other people, and this tends to naturally lead to people beginning to care about you, too. It seems like this is precisely the thing that Audrey never realised.

When Kiwi asks to be sure that, wait, really, nobody cared about her?, she just casually says, “Why would they?” like it’s perfectly normal. Having learned that being smart and pretty are not actually things that automatically make her liked, she doesn’t expect anyone to extend basic compassion and empathy to her anyway. And, in turn, she sees no point in extending any of that to anybody else, either.

Considering that Audrey felt nobody cared about her prior to her being the Hero, you’d think she’d have had an easier time relating to the bugs feeling small and insignificant, like Kiwi can. But… apparently not? Perhaps becoming the Hero simply went to her head and shifted her view of herself so much that she can no longer even consciously remember what it was like to feel unimportant. Or, perhaps more likely: she was just so used to the thought that nobody should care about anybody without a good reason that the bugs’ situation never crossed her mind as being something that she in particular should relate to.

It’s honestly kind of messed-up and sad that Audrey is like this. After Kiwi explains to her why kindness is important using the example of the bugs, the only comment she has is, “You’re so… simple.” Like she’s still just convinced somehow that their kindness-centring worldview is naïve and wrong. Why is she so sure about this? What kind of childhood did she have to make her grow up thinking this is how the world worked?

…I wish we knew. Or, at least, that we had enough hints to piece it together. I talked a bit in both the Kiwi and Miriam posts about the way their childhoods and awkward family situations explain a lot about how their issues came to be. And in Kiwi’s case, they didn’t even need to ever talk about it themselves for it to be possible to figure it out. So even though Audrey is definitely also someone who wouldn’t want to open up about this, I wish there had been clues anyway.

And there could have been! We don’t even know which of the regions of the game Audrey grew up in; not a single thing (at least, as far as I’ve noticed) indicates where she came from prior to showing up one day as the Hero. But what if one of the regions had had little hints that this is Audrey’s childhood home, something that could help explain why she grew up believing that nobody could ever care about another person without getting something out of it in return?

As it is, it’s so easy to just want to write Audrey off as A Bad Person… but nobody’s born that way. It would be so disappointing if that was just it. No matter how much I enjoy all of her hero issues and delightful obvious hypocrisy and appreciate her as a character, when this is all I can find after digging to the bottom, it’s unfortunately hard for me to like her as a person. And I really wanted to! I wish I could have truly felt whatever messed-up past made her tragically see the world this way, and cared about her as a result of that.

But it’s hard to fully care about a character who’s acting like kind of a self-absorbed dick for a reason that isn’t ever quite explained. It’s a small shame in an otherwise wonderful game, and an otherwise really interesting character!

“That’s not enough”

Another parallel I love about the three “heroes” of this story (using that word loosely in Audrey’s case) is that none of them like to admit to their weaknesses very much. Kiwi is an example of how not admitting weakness can be for the sake of helping others; Miriam is an example of how it can simply be because admitting weakness in and of itself is scary. And Audrey is an example of how not admitting weakness can be entirely self-preserving.

She just didn’t want to not be the Hero. She felt like she had to pretend she was perfect and unbothered by ending the world, because if she didn’t, Eyala might take her powers away and force her back to the way she was beforehand, when she felt small and weak… and normal. (What a strange thing to be afraid of being! Miriam at least would have really loved to be just normal, and a lot of her arc was about coming to terms with the fact that she never will be.) Whatever it was in Audrey’s past that messed her up like this, it’s something she’s really scared of going back to, so much so that she clings to being the true “Hero” who ends the world despite everything.

And Kiwi seemed to get this! Their absolutely lovely final speech to her, reassuring her that she’s special and amazing and really deserved to be chosen as the Hero but doesn’t need to end the world to prove any of that to be true, was something I genuinely thought was going to get through to her. It sounded like exactly what Audrey had always needed and secretly desperately wanted to hear. Her expression seemed like she was actually considering it and being swayed by it, too.

…Yet, somehow, that’s not enough. Despite everything, Audrey ends the world anyway, before Kiwi gets the last Earthsong piece, leaving no chance for saving it as far as she knows.

The reason, as far as I can see it, is that while Kiwi’s speech solved Audrey’s first issue of clinging to ending the world to feel like she’s “hero” enough, it didn’t remotely solve the second issue – namely the thought that Kiwi is more of a hero than her. If anything, it made that issue worse.

There Kiwi was, reaching out to her, being all kind and understanding and heroic, in that wonderful people-oriented way they have. If Audrey had accepted their speech, accepted that Kiwi has helped her, she’d already be accepting that they’re the better hero, before even getting into the part where they’re the one who can really save the world. She simply couldn’t bring herself to let any of that be true.

And Kiwi couldn’t actually address this half of the issue in their speech, because they didn’t even know about it. Why would they? There’s no way they would ever conceive of the idea that someone as cool and talented as Audrey could ever think that an ordinary, unimportant little bard like them was actually an even better hero than her. That never even crossed their mind for their whole adventure. So of course they didn’t bring it up while trying to help her.

But still, even if Kiwi had been aware of that and talked about that too… would it have helped? Or would Audrey hearing that from the person she’s jealous of have just rubbed everything in and made it worse? – look at just how perfect and heroic and humble that damn bard is that they can even recognise and forgive and try to help her with this. Perhaps it was a lost cause from the beginning, simply because the only person who’d ever have tried to reach out to Audrey and help her was the very root of the problem.

Or maybe it wasn’t? Things might have turned out differently if Audrey had happened to have a chance to properly talk with Kiwi earlier, in a different context where they weren’t enemies. Kiwi could have talked her out of ending the world before she’d had all that time to build up her insistent justifications that she simply has to. And more importantly, she’d have had more time to come to see Kiwi as a friend who cares about her and wants to help her feel like a real hero, rather than just someone who’s infuriatingly effortlessly better than her at everything she wants to be. (Just like Miriam came to do!) Maybe with that, her jealousy wouldn’t have mattered so much.

Audrey’s fate

The other big question is: where is Audrey now? She’s nowhere to be seen in the credits.

One option is that she’s still here, just lying low somewhere and no longer drawing attention to herself. One kid in Xiatian, who assumes Audrey’s the one who saved the world, comments that she must have wanted to live like a normal person and admires how humble that is of her. And, well, maybe he’s right. Maybe Audrey not being around any more is a sign that she’s finally learned humility, and she’s not going to try and take undeserved credit for saving the world when that wasn’t actually her doing.

But, really? I’m not sure I believe she’d be able to do that. She killed the Dream King in the first place, without letting Kiwi get the last Earthsong piece, because she still adamantly refused to let Kiwi take the spotlight from her no matter what. Those were absolutely the actions of somebody who’d then try to take the credit for saving the world when she didn’t deserve it. Everyone would have believed her, too! Nobody except Audrey, Kiwi and Miriam knew that the Hero’s job wasn’t actually to save the world.

If there was ever a moment for Audrey to learn humility and accept that the fate of the world is more important than her ego, it would have been that moment when Kiwi reached out to her. Nothing that happened afterwards seems like it would have been enough to change her mind, given that absolutely everything beforehand hadn’t managed to do it.

So, the other option as to what happened to Audrey instead? She’s gone. She didn’t make it into the new universe. She was the one person who didn’t join in with the Wandersong, and therefore the new world that was being created didn’t have her in it.

Consider the moment the world ended from Audrey’s perspective. She kills the Dream King and watches everything fall apart and tells herself she’s won. She’s beaten that silly little not-so-heroic bard. Everything’s been building up to this; in a twisted, desperately-justified way, this is meant to be her moment of glory. But then out of nowhere, she hears a voice, singing, soon joined by hundreds of other voices singing along. It’s that bard again, saving the world anyway, even though she was supposed to have just made it literally impossible for them to do that. They’re being the real hero of the hour after all, despite everything. Not her.

I think it’s very within Audrey’s character to have refused to join in the Wandersong out of bitter, jealous spite, despite knowing full well that she was throwing away her only chance to make it through this alive.

I read an account from the game devs saying that they originally tried putting in a scene with Audrey ambiguously falling to her probable death as everything crumbles after she kills the Dream King. But then they decided to leave it out, because even aside from the fact that it was kinda unclear what was happening, it felt too much like Audrey was being punished for her actions. I pretty much agree with that call; doing something like that would make it feel like Audrey was being punished because she killed the Dream King. That’s rather unfair when that’s literally what she was supposed to do in the first place.

Her real problem wasn’t that she killed the last Overseer in itself, but that she did so without giving Kiwi a chance to complete the Earthsong and save the world. So it feels more narratively appropriate that, if Audrey did in fact end up dooming herself out of existence, she did so as a direct result of her utter refusal to accept that somebody else could ever be more of a hero than her.

[justheretobreakthings]

Remember Me - Chapter 16

(First Chapter) (Previous Chapter)

Word Count: 3,621 (Total Word Count: 64,447) Read on AO3

Story Summary:

It was strange enough for the paladins of Voltron to have found another human this far from home, locked in a Galra prison. But it was stranger still when this human insisted that he knew them, and even that he was the former red paladin of Voltron.

That couldn’t possibly be true, could it? After all, if this Keith was actually a part of the Voltron team, then why does nobody remember him?

Chapter Preview:

The paladins hurried to take their spots beside their assigned partners as the training bots rose up from the floor and out of the walls of the training deck. Lance planted himself firmly behind Shiro, keeping his eyes on a couple of the nearby drones as he brought his shield up from his wrist.

“You good to go, Lance?” Shiro asked from behind him.

“Oh, please,” Lance scoffed. “I could guard you against a thousand of these things and you still wouldn’t get a scratch on you.”

“There’s that confident Lance we know and love.” A buzzer sounded throughout the training deck, and the bots came to life right as the paladins leapt to action.

Regardless of the fact that they had all approved of Keith’s inclusion in their training, and the fact that they were already starting to grow accustomed to his presence at meals and in their living quarters, it still felt weird to see him joining the other paladins in the training deck after breakfast the next morning, in full armor, weapon in hand. He stuck out in the sleek metallic colors of the Altean armor Coran had fitted him with, and Lance couldn’t help but feel extremely aware of a new presence in the room, throwing the team’s normal equilibrium off.

Coran, for one, seemed delighted by the addition, and chattered brightly to Keith as he helped him adjust his new armor and stretch out his muscles in preparation for today’s training. “It just will be so much more convenient, having an even number of people training, you know?” he said. “We can divide evenly into teams, match up for partner drills without having everyone take turns switching out - honestly, in retrospect we should have brought a sixth person on board much sooner, it would have made planning these training sessions so much easier on my end. I wonder if that cow of Lance’s was ever combat-capable…”

“Kaltenecker’s a pacifist,” Lance spoke up, straightening out from his own warm-up stretches and swinging his arms at his sides to loosen them. “Please respect her religious views.”

“Pacifism’s not a religion, Lance,” Pidge said.

“What? No, no, I’m pretty sure it is. I’m positive - hey Shiro, is pacifism a religion?”

“No, Lance.”

“I could have sworn - ”

“You sure you’re ready to start training today, Keith?” Shiro asked, leaving Lance pouting at the interruption. “You’re looking a little nervous.”

“I’m fine, I’m fine,” Keith answered. He looked down at the sword in his hand. “It’s just… strange, finally getting to hold one of these again. Strange in a good way, though.”

“So your weapon of choice is a sword, huh?” Hunk asked.

“Yeah. My old bayard was - um, I mean, uh - my - I’m - I’m trained in swords. Swords and daggers, those are - those are my things.”

“About time,” Pidge said. “I’ve told them before, every adventuring party worth their salt has at least one swashbuckler in the group. I mean, Allura technically has a sort of swordy-dagger-thing at the end of her staff, but it’s not the same. I asked her before if she could figure out a way to incorporate some more, you know, swishes and stabs into her fights - for the style points, of course - but she said no.”

“I stand by that,” Allura said. “My bayard form is not designed for that style of combat, Pidge.”

“Yeah, well, Lance’s jacket wasn’t designed for acting as a bed for space caterpillars, but you don’t see that stopping me.”

“Hang on, what?” said Lance.

“Are we ready to begin?” Allura asked, turning to Coran.

“We should be,” Coran answered. “I’ll go on up to the booth. Keith let me know if you’re having any mobility issues with that armor, and I’ll see about getting it adjusted after training.”

“Will do,” Keith said with a nod.

Coran took his leave, and the others spread out across the center of the training deck, waiting for his voice to instruct them from the observation booth’s microphone. “All right, paladins - and guest - ” he said over the speakers after a minute. “Ready to go? I’m starting you off with some partner exercises against the bots. One of each pair on offense and one on defense. We’ll focus on close combat for now, so your goal will be to defeat your assigned gladiator bot. Shiro, Allura, and Keith, you’re on offense.

“We’ll have the drone bots taking shots at whoever’s on offense, so defense, you’re on shield duty. Protect your partner against any shots from the drones until the gladiator’s taken care. Lance, you guard Shiro; Pidge, Allura; Hunk, Keith. Get in position, we’ll begin in ten ticks.”

The paladins hurried to take their spots beside their assigned partners as the training bots rose up from the floor and out of the walls of the training deck. Lance planted himself firmly behind Shiro, keeping his eyes on a couple of the nearby drones as he brought his shield up from his wrist.

“You good to go, Lance?” Shiro asked from behind him.

“Oh, please,” Lance scoffed. “I could guard you against a thousand of these things and you still wouldn’t get a scratch on you.”

“There’s that confident Lance we know and love.” A buzzer sounded throughout the training deck, and the bots came to life right as the paladins leapt to action.

Despite this being Keith’s first training session with the group, Coran had not elected to take it easy on them today. The drones were numerous, and quick, and took no down time, and judging by how fast Shiro was moving with the gladiator, and his harried grunts, the offense side of the drill was no picnic either.

Still, Lance certainly wasn’t about to let a little thing like a high difficulty setting take him down, so he kept himself steeled throughout the fight, jumping and ducking and twisting around Shiro’s larger form to block off all incoming shots from the drones.

They were both panting from exertion by the time Shiro finished the gladiator bot off, and they took the moment to catch their breath, hands on their knees. Lance looked across the deck to see that Pidge and Allura were still finishing off their own bots. Hunk and Keith, though, were standing still, and neither were doubled over the way Lance and Shiro were, so they must have already had a little bit of time to rest and recover, meaning they must have finished their bots off first.

Keith was watching the girls complete their drill, and Hunk turned toward where Lance was standing. When his gaze met Lance’s, Hunk pointed his thumb toward Keith and silently mouthed, ‘wow.’

Lance raised a brow and mouthed back, ‘what?’, but before Hunk could respond, Allura landed a final blow against her gladiator, and the last bots remaining on the deck dissipated. “Good work, all!” Coran said over the speaker. “Let’s switch partners and run it again!” Lance’s groan wasn’t loud enough to drown Coran out as he continued, “Lance, you’ve got Allura; Pidge, you’re on Keith; Hunk, Shiro. You’ve got thirty ticks to catch your breath before we start. Go!”

With minimal exhausted muttering they shuffled around the training deck to their new partners, and the muttering stopped as they instead devoted their breath to steadying and readying themselves before the drill began again. When it did, the bots kept their speed from last time, but fortunately the drones seemed to stick to the same flying patterns as the previous round, so that made up for any fatigue Lance was dealing with now.

Coran kept up a string of encouragement and tips through the overhead speaker. “Keep your partner in your peripheral vision, defense!” and “Don’t forget about those low shots!” and “Watch it, now, step back too far and too suddenly and you’ll trip right over your partner!”

Sweat was starting to trickle into Lance’s eyes by the time this round ended, and Coran still offered them no respite. The instant Hunk and Shiro finished off their bot, the last group to do so, his voice sounded again: “One more go at it! Switch up the partners one last time, and then we can take a hydration break afterward!”

Reluctantly they moved again, and this time Lance found himself guarding Keith. The latter may have been making quick work of his gladiator bots, but it was clear up close that it was still taking a physical toll on him just as much as it had on the rest of them. Keith was coated in a glistening layer of sweat, his cheeks were beet red, and his shoulders bobbed up and down in time with his audible breaths.

“If you’re too tired to keep up with the group for this long,” Lance said to him, “You can just let Coran know and he can pause the drill for you. No one would would judge you for it.”

Keith shot him a glare over his shoulder. “Not a chance,” he growled, before turning back and readying his sword. Lance got his own shield into position, and soon the bots were on them for the third time.

The last two rounds, Lance had done precisely what he was supposed to in drills like these: make sure to keep his partner at the edge of his vision, but his focus on the bots he was shielding against. He was used to fighting alongside Shiro and Allura anyway, so there was nothing new to observe. He knew their styles, knew how to work around them without needing to watch them closely, and there was nothing too unexpected of them.

In this round, though, he couldn’t help but let his curiosity be piqued by the rapid flurry of metal clanging against metal at his side, so he simply had to at least catch some decent glimpses of Keith’s swordfighting in action.

And, well, it was obvious immediately why Hunk had been impressed by it.

Keith was throwing himself into his fight with the gladiator bot with a ferocity that would have been better suited to a fight to the death than to a training exercise. His sword slid easily, swiftly, through the air in a frenzy of attacks, as smoothly as if the sword was an extension of Keith’s arm itself, and he was as light on his feet as a startled cat. Apparently he had done a good job of regaining some energy and muscle since his sparring session with Lance.

And as he dove smoothly toward the bot again with an animalistic growl escaping through his clenched teeth, the Galra side of him suddenly seemed glaringly obvious.

Lance must have been more focused on watching Keith’s fighting than he’d realized, because before he knew it, a laser blast from one of the drones that had completely escaped Lance’s notice wound up hitting Keith directly in the shoulder, nearly toppling him right into the arms of the gladiator bot.

“Head in the game, Number Three!” Coran called as Lance hastened to block that spot with his shield a full tick too late.

He shook his head clear and pulled his focus back to the bots, and fortunately managed to block any other big hits from the drones from striking Keith. And they were the first to finish off their gladiator.

It was a hell of a relief when Coran finally dismissed them for a water break and they gathered at the front of the deck where the water pouches were stocked. Keith removed his helmet the moment he reached the water and immediately dumped half of one pouch onto his head, then shook his hair out like a dog before actually drinking from it, leaving Lance wrinkling his nose and wiping away the droplets of water that had splashed into his eye.

He sank down against the wall with his own water pouch, and was shortly joined by Hunk flopping to the floor next to him. “Okay,” Hunk said quietly after a gulp of water. “Can we discuss Keith with those bots, please? Because my mind is still kinda blown here.”

“He was all right,” Lance relented.

“All right? Dude was taking that thing on like a training bot had murdered his family and this was his only chance to get revenge. Seriously, I did not expect him to be that fast!”

“Eh.” Lance shrugged. “I mean, he’s not bad, sure, but I’m just thinking, you know, there’s more to being good in a battle than being a fast flyer and flashy with a sword. You gotta have, like, keen observation skills, and a good head for strategy, and know how to keep your cool, and have a decent haircut.”

“Haircut?”

“Yeah, to - to keep your hair out of your eyes. And to not embarrass yourself in front of the enemy.”

“Ah. Well, I still thought it was pretty impressive.”

“You impress too easily, buddy,” Lance said, giving Hunk a pat on the back.

Soon they were wrapping up the water break, and Coran directed them back onto the deck. “Same partners as the last round,” he said over the speaker. “But we’re switching roles. Offense is on range attack, and you’re aiming to take down the flying drones this time. Defense, keep your shield up, your objective is to protect your partner from the gladiator. At the ready now.”

Lance grinned and summoned his bayard, just a little relieved that it morphed into its assault rifle form with no stalling this time. Sure, okay, Keith had had his chance to show off what he could do in close combat. But ranged attacks were Lance’s time to shine.

He held his rifle at the ready and waited for the drill to begin, then took his first shot at one of the swooping drones. The shot hit dead on, but to Lance’s surprised, he found himself knocked an inch back on his feet, the butt of the rifle clunking against his armor. That was certainly… odd. His rifle had always had minimal recoil, if any at all.

He swung the rifle to aim at the next drone, missing it by just an inch. Apparently he hadn’t swung it as rapidly as he’d thought he had. The rifle was feeling heavy, was the thing. And - he couldn’t quite explain it, but it felt somehow off-balance. It was the same shape as always, but somehow didn’t seem to be fitting into his arms quite the way it was supposed to.

It was so minor, some sensation more akin to a gut feeling than any actual observable change on the bayard, but he could swear up and down that something was different.

“You all right back there, Lance?” Keith grunted.

Hastily Lance renewed his focus and blasted another drone. Difference or no, this was still his rifle, and he was still the sharpshooter. “I’m wonderful, thanks for asking,” he answered. “You just focus on your own job, okay?”

They returned to the fight without another word exchanged between them.

It was after a couple of days, and thus a couple more training sessions, that Lance finally decided to see if something could be done about the troubles with his bayard. They weren’t major problems - the delays only lasted fractions of a section, and the recoil and balance issues were small enough that could have been ignorable - but… they were still odd. Up to this point, his bayard had been nothing short of perfect every time he used it, be it in battle or training. Part of him even wondered if part of it was just in his head, if maybe he was subconsciously changing the way he held his rifle and that’s why it felt weird in his arms.

But that wouldn’t explain the incident a few days back when his bayard hadn’t come when he’d summoned it. There was no way he had imagined that.

More likely than not, he reasoned, the bayard was just in need of some sort of tune-up, like so many other things in this ancient. So he went in search of Coran, figuring he would be the one to have some idea of how bayard maintenance was supposed to work.

After a bit of searching he found the advisor in the hangar, welding mask on and with a torch held to the delta wing of a half-repaired cruiser, the lower half of Hunk’s body sticking out from underneath the ship from where he lay on his back fiddling with something from below.The latter slid out when he heard Lance’s footsteps echoing across the hangar.

“Hey Lance!” he called with a wave of a grease-stained hand. “Coming along nice, isn’t it?”

“Yep,” Lance answered. “Almost can’t tell it went on a suicide run almost a week ago.”

“That’s the goal.”

“Coran, can I talk to you for a sec?” Lance asked. Coran stayed focused on his torch, until Hunk nudged him with his foot and he looked toward him, extinguishing the torch and lifting his mask. “Hm?” he asked.

“Lance needs you,” Hunk said, nodding toward Lance.

“Need something, Number Three?” Coran asked, setting the torch down on the floor beside him.

“I do, yeah,” Lance said. “I was wondering if you wouldn’t mind taking a look at my bayard?”

“Hm? Why?”

Lance lifted the bayard in his hand and held it out to Coran. “Well, it’s been - it’s been being, I dunno, weird, during training.”

“How so?”

“Like, it’s, I dunno, it feels heavier, kinda, and sorta off-balance? It’s not, like, fitting the way it’s supposed to. I didn’t know if maybe something is up with the metal?”

Coran hummed thoughtfully as he took the bayard from Lance’s hand and held it up to examine, and Lance continued, “And a few days ago, I was doing some solo training, and it - ”

“Hunk, can I have the wire cutters again?”

Lance nearly jumped at the sound of a new voice, and whipped his head around to see Keith, leaning half out the now open door of the cockpit. Lance had nearly forgotten, Keith was helping Coran and Hunk with the repairs on this thing. Really the least he could do, seeing as he was the one who had gone and smashed it up in the first place.

“Yeah, lemme grab them, hang on,” Hunk said, sliding back under the ship, followed by the clattering sound of a toolbox being rummaged through. Keith lifted a hand toward Lance in greeting, and Lance returned it with a nod, noticing as he did that Coran had followed through on his promise to get Keith some clothes of his own. He’d still kept the pattern from Lance’s jeans and baseball tee, but with a much darker blue for the jeans, and cranberry red replacing the teal of the shirt’s collar and sleeves.

The red actually looked quite decent on him. Or perhaps the old blue had just really not been Keith’s color and this was simply that much better in comparison. One of the two.

“You were saying, Lance?” Coran asked.

“Huh?” Lance said, turning back to him.

“You said something had happened with your bayard a few days ago?”

“Oh, right. Um - ” He glanced over in Keith’s direction, where he still stood waiting for Hunk to find the tool. “It, uh, it - ” This was stupid. It wasn’t like there was anything embarrassing about his bayard having a little glitch. There was no reason he shouldn’t want to share that information in front of Keith. So he had no explanation for the fact that he was now suddenly nervous about telling Coran about the glitch, or why some dumb feeling in his gut was insisting that it was none of Keith’s business.

“Yes, Lance?”

“It didn’t, uh, didn’t work at first,” Lance admitted. “Like, it didn’t go into rifle mode when I called on it too, it just stayed dormant. I mean, I got it back up and working pretty quick, just had to bang on it a little, but it was weird.”

Coran’s mustache twitched as a frown furrowed across his face. “Has it done that at any other time? Or, have there been any other more major glitches like that?”

“Wait, Lance’s bayard is broken?” Keith asked.

“It’s not broken!” Lance snapped. “It’s still pretty fine, probably just needs a tune-up or something. Not a big deal, really, just thought I’d ask you about it.”

“Well, there’s no obvious damage to it,” Coran said as he turned the bayard over in his hands. “But there’s only so much I can tell from a cursory glance, of course. I’ll take a closer look at it in the workshop once we’re done here. And if I can’t find anything to adjust, I’ll pass it along to Allura.”

“Why Allura?”

“The paladins’ bayard, like the Lions, are an amalgamation of both technology and alchemy, all forged with the same comet. If the problem is not with the tech, there’s probably something going on on the alchemical side of things. Allura’s not exactly an expert in the field, but she’s still more knowledgeable on the topic than I.”

“Ah, okay,” Lance said. In his stomach he felt a flutter of relief. Yes, it made sense. They’d been doing a lot of wormholing lately, they’d had unstable quintessence inside the castle, there was… whatever the flying quiznak Keith’s whole deal was. It seemed reasonable that a magical object exposed to all this other magical weirdness might get a bit wonky because of it.

Of course, none of the other paladins were having problems with their bayards, but space magic didn’t seem to operate on logic and fairness. This was probably no exception.

“I’ll get this back to you as soon as we’ve looked it over and made any needed tweaks,” Coran said. “Hopefully if there’s any problem, it’s nothing we won’t be able to sort out before the next training session. So, I’m sure you’ve absolutely nothing to fret about.”

“Thanks Coran,” Lance said with a grateful nod.

“You’re welcome. Off you trot, now, unless you wanted to lend a hand with the cruiser?”

“Nah, I don’t figure I’d be much of a help when it comes to ship repair. You guys have fun, though.”

Coran waved him goodbye before bringing his mask back to his face to resume his welding, and Lance made his exit, feeling lighter leaving the hangar than he had when he’d entered.

[spooky-the-owl]

Lance and his bayard

They were all in the training room. Coran and Shiro (the real Shiro this time) watching from the sidelines as the paladins fought with twice as many robots as they were.

They were slaying it, as Lance would say later. They had been fighting together for so long now, they were almost in sync. Almost. Of course it wasn't perfect, but they were a good team.

And Lance was rocking the new sword. Of course he's had to get accustomed to having a gun and a sword now. All his other Bayard forms had been long range guns. Not that he had that many, just the rifle and the original gun he didn't know what to call.

However, Allura seemed thoroughly impressed by him getting a sword now. He'd thought it was weird too, given that he hadn't had as much experience with swords as he had with guns (he practiced with those in the Garrison a lot). But Keith said he was improving pretty well so the team took that as a win. Didn't stop Lance from complaining to Red for making him learn a whole new form of fighting. She knew it was all in good fun and he was greatful. He liked being able to fight short range as well as long range. She wanted him to protect himself as well as he could.

Didn't mean the others didn't have different Bayard forms either. Lance was eternally proud of his buddy, his best friend, the love of his life Hunk getting another enormous bulky gun the Cuban didn't know the name for. And Pidge, his child his lil gremlin, said many times she didn't want another form. That her knife/grappling hook thingy was enough to kick aliens ass, but Lance knew she was jealous. And Keith just had to be extra and get a knife along with his sword. And Allura, the most gorgeous, the queen, had a whip and sword.

All in all they had enough firepower to wipe out entire ranks.

Didn't mean Lance had to keep it at one weapon per attack. He made it a point to constantly change Bayard, which annoyed and confused Keith a lot but impressed Allura. So win win.

Pidge shocked a robot enough time for Lance to pierce it with his sword. Without missing a beat he switched to sniper rifle and shot a few sentries who were getting two close. Dammit, should've used the other gun.

He heard a distant purr that he knew was Blue. She was always encouraging him. He smiled at her praises. Red wouldn't have it and growled, making Lance laugh. He was filled with joyous ecstasy. The kind he always got when fighting with Red. Like electricity flowing through him. A passion. Being with his space family just increased that feeling.

Hunk leaned over him to shoot at a few sentries and Lance rolled from under him, shooting at a few that he'd seen preventing Keith from doing his special spiny swordy move he liked doing.

He grinned. They were almost done when more robots dropped from the ceiling. Somewhere he barely heard Coran shouting praises and announcing round four.

Lance saw the sentries falling and he grinned. He jumped up while changing his Bayard form and swung it to slice the robots in half before they even touched the ground. But he gave a sound of surprise when not a sword appeared in his line of vision, but a long glowing whip.

It wrapped around three sentries gathering them up and slicing to their wiring. Lance was so shocked he didn't realize he was falling until he hit the ground. He yelped as he hit the ground and looked up just in time to see Hunk slap away a robot that was about to hit him.

Pidge also stopped in surprise. "Whoa!"

"End training sequence," Shiro yelled out with panic. He ignored Coran's defeated cry of "Noooooooooooooo" as he ran forwards. "Lance. What happened."

They huddled around Lance who was still lying on the ground, staring at the long string in his hand. "Wtf?"

"You never cease to amaze me, Lonce," Allura said with stars in her eyes. "A whip. He has a whip, Coran!"

"Nice." Lance grinned and stood up. He stretched his sore back. "Ah. I hope that fall didn't leave any lasting damage." He turned to Hunk. "My butt isn't flat now, is it?"

Hunk looked pensive. Thankfully, he shook his head. "Nope. Still as round and squishy as ever."

"I'm sorry but can we talk about how Lance now has a whip?" Pidge interrupted. "You have the biggest diversity of weapons I have seen yet."

Lance scoffed. "Like you have much to compare it to. There are like. Only five bayards that you've seen ever."

"Pidge is right," Coran stroked his mustache as he looked Lance's new accessory over. "You have a very different types. You're unlocking quite the weaponry."

Lance hummed and stared at his whip. He could feel Red sending him satisfied vibes. "Guess I'll have to learn how to use this one too." He winked at Allura. "And we'll have more bonding time. If you will teach me."

Allura smiled. "Of course I will. I suppose we can pause the team training and work on our individual strengths and weaknesses now. We'll regroup in the dining room in half a varga for a small meal."

Shiro clapped Lance on the shoulder. "Nice work, everyone." He smiled at Lance before looking at the others. "Keep up with your training. I will go take a nap."

He left with a laugh as a chorus of complaints and jests followed him out.

So Lance had a new form to work with. He was pretty excited with all the different techniques he could come up with. Like throwing the opponents up into the air with his whip just to shoot them with his gun into fireworks. (His teammates always complained of the falling debris but they just couldn't appreciate art). Or sticking his knife in a robot and turning it into his original gun with extra fire power. He just generally liked to make things explode. His teammates had learned to keep their shields up permanently.

It was two weeks later when Lance got a new upgrade. It was around the same time as Pidge, who'd begrudgingly admitted that she loved the new staff like weapon her Bayard could turn into.

Lance got the same thing, but with tiny knifes at the end.

"I swear it's like you're just copying us by now," Pidge had grumbled.

They practiced together a lot. No one else knew much about this type of weapon so Coran had found them videos (yes they could record stuff on Altea) of fighters who used the staff and Pidge and Lance could be seen spending hours just swinging their sticks around and staring intently at the holographic video.

By Lance's sixth Bayard upgrade nobody stopped the training session they were in. Lance had been in the middle of smacking his knife on a stick on two droids when there was a flash and a fucking maze absolutely pulverized the robots.

The Cuban blinked for a second before grinning widely. "Hey Hunk! I just got an aMAZEing upgrade! It's SPIKEctacular!"

"What?" Hunk was confused until he turned slightly to look at his friend and his eyes widened. "Oh. Huh. That's weird."

"Really?" Keith scoffed after glancing back for a second to see what this was about and then continuing to cut the sentries to pieces. "Why is Lance getting a new weapon surprising anymore?"

"I think it's exciting." Allura squealed and kept side-eyeing the Bayard Lance was swinging around with little difficulty. He had great upper strength after all.

Hunk continued. "No, I meant: A maze isn't really a Lance weapon, you know. He's more light and fast and accuracy. A maze isn't any of those things."

Lance hummed in curious agreement as he kicked a few in the torso before shooting them off with his rifle. He did enjoy guns the best. But it was satisfying to be able to smash away once in a while.

Pidge snickered. "Maybe his Bayard is running out of ideas."

"You know what would be awesome," Lance gasped. "If I got a lance."

Pidge's eyes widened. "Oh fuck yes."

Lance held his weapon close and whispered. "Please make it happen."

He didn't get a lance. Not in his next upgrade anyways.

Keith and Pidge were coming in, each with tired demeanors and sleepy eyes. They sat by the kitchen next to Shiro and Allura, who were talking animatedly about something Allura had done as a child that was apparently funny. Coran was going through his space I-pad thingy, probably preparing some type of training session. And Hunk was talking as Lance made their lunch.

Lance looked up for a second at the two newcomers. "You look like you've been ninja fighting all morning. You guys do know we still have a lot of work to do right? You won't have the energy to do a movie night like this."

Keith grumbled. "Ninjas use way different swords than mine. And there's no such thing as" he yawned, "too much training. Besides, I always fall asleep within the first five minutes of movie night anyways."

Lance just grumbled quietly to himself. After a moment he spoke up again. "You know, I've asked Red about the whole Bayard thing and she just says things like: Good for pup. Or pup can do all. Or something like that." He turned and pointed a glowing knife at Keith. "Am I the pup or are you still her pup?"

Hunk laughed. "Pretty sure we're all pups. Yellow calls me whelp though."

Keith was staring cross-eyed at the knife. "Where'd you get that knife?"

Lance looked down at it and smiled like he'd just remembered. "Oh it's my new knife upgrade!"

Allura froze in her talking and swirled around. "And you're using it to cook?"

"Yep."

Hunk smiled. "It's very sharp."

"And look at this." Lance turned to look at the dart board they'd handmade with hard cushions and threw his knife. It embedded itself on the left side of the circle and he smiled apologetically. "Eh I'm still working on that aim."

Keith huffed. "First my sword. Now it's a knife. Geez why did you even need a knife for?"

"Knives are a basic weapon, Keith," Lance rolled his eyes like it was obvious as he went to dislodge the weapon. "Of course I need one."

Lance's favorite thing (apart from spa days and Hunk) was now infiltrating Galra ships. His teammates always let him go wild with his weaponry and he more than took up the offer. He loved being creative with his upgrades and Red only revelled in his happiness.

The Blue Paladin peeked around the corner and then jumped out with two small guns in his hands, pointing them at every spot in the hallway as if this was an exciting James Bond movie. He ran down the hall and stopped by locked doors.

"I am in need of assistance," he said into the comms.

"On it." Pidge opened the doors through her hacking and Lance slipped through.

His eyes widened and he smirked. "I have a visual on possible target."

Hunk snickered as Pidge answered. "Proceed with caution."

Keith scoffed. "Y'all with this again?"

"Just roll with it," Hunk snorted.

Lance held his two pistols close and rolled across the width of the hallway and against the wall. He peered at the side of the wall to see a long range of cells. He smirked.

"Lance, please tell me you didn't just literally roll."

Lance didn't acknowledge Keith. Instead he announced his mission update. "Target spotted. Requesting permission to engage."

"Hold, soldier," Pidge typed away as she made sure he had time to complete his part of the mission. "Hunk, how are things at your end?"

"Me and Allura are holding them back. I'm pretty sure most people aboard are focused on us."

Keith nodded from his spot as he sliced the last druid and turned back to Pidge, who didn't look up from the control panel she was locked on.

"Go. I will download the map back to the Lions to your visor."

Lance ran forward and didn't stop until he'd come by an occupied cell. The prisoners inside scrambled back and stared at him with wide eyes. Lance held a hand on the bars. "Greetings. We come in peace." He smiled at them, hoping they could understand. Keith snorted in the background.

Thankfully, one of them talked. The translator in his headset recorded it and took a quick search of what language it was.

"Quien eres?" Lance heard, bringing a smile on his face. He'd been eternally happy they could install their own personal language to translate. Of course it had taken hours to download the language in the mainframe but it was so worth it to hear his mother tongue.

He responded quickly. "Venimos en paz. Somos paladines de Voltron. Venimos a sacarlos de aquí. Si les abro la puerta, me seguirán a los leones?"

The prisoners eyes widened at hearing they were paladins and here to save them. Some quickly nodded, ready to get out of here, and rushed forward with what Lance could only guess were grins on their alien faces.

The paladin formed his Bayard, pausing so they could see it, and then turned it into a knife. He carefully cut through the locks and opened it wide. He smiled when a map was visualized in his visor. "Vamos. Hay que apurarnos." He turned to the next cell.

Soon enough Lance and a horde of prisoners were running through the halls, when Pidge warned them. "Incoming."

Lance formed his gun and motioned for the aliens to stop right as guards streamed in.

"Are you in need of assistance?" Allura offered.

"No. I can take these." He hummed in response to Shiro's voice saying: "Be careful."

He picked off all he could with his sniper gun, turned a bit sideways to shoot off one that had gotten too close to a prisoner with his handgun. Then he made a whip and swept the attacking aliens back in one sweep. Once they'd started shooting too he had his shield out and was blocking the shots with his whip.

A few prisoners rushed forward, ignoring Lance's yelp, and jumped on a few droids. He swiped at a few with his sword and looked up. He mentally sweeped over the aliens he was supposed to be protecting. "Stand back!"

Only few listened to him. Others wanted to get revenge for their mistreating. Lance cursed. They didn't have time for this. They had to get going before more came. He growled as Hunk and Allura announced that some of the aliens they'd been fighting had left.

Lance turned to the prisoners that had stood still. "Wait! Quédense aquí y corran cuando de la orden." They nodded and stayed back. He jumped forward towards the approaching guards and pulled his sword back, ready to turn it into his gun.

What he got instead made him so shocked he gasped and stumbled a bit. A bow and arrow formed around the length of his arm. The arm he had pulled back suddenly held a glowing arrow. He realeased in surprise. The arrow missed what he had been aiming but got another guard in the arm. "Holy shit!" He grinned widely and pulled back again. It took a bit of straining. The bow reached down to his thigh and over his head. But it was manageable. Another glowing blue arrow appeared and he released. This. Was. Exhilarating.

Soon enough, he'd gotten most of them and twirled around to the huddling prisoners with a mad grin. "Vamos!"

They followed him down the hallways with awed looks and grinning faces.

"Guys, you will not believe."

"What happened?"

"Are you ok?"

"I'm absolutely perfect!" Ok that hadn't come out that well in English as he'd imagined it.

Hunk, the angel, didn't miss a beat. "As always."

Lance faltered a bit in his step. "Hunk, you are too good for this world. But anyways! I'm Legolas!"

Keith furrowed his eyebrows as he helped Pidge put away her tech. "Wasn't Lotor Legolas?"

"Loro's a snake," Allura grumbled.

"No. I am." Lance continued. "Am Legolas, I mean. I got a bow and arrow!"

"Are you for fucking real?!"

[rpmemes-galore]

Doctor Who --- The Pandorica Opens  {Sentence Starters}

“Yeah. You're crying.“

“Look at me, I'm a target!“

“Well, you're only human.“

“You're new here, aren't you?”

“I'm a thing! I'll kill you. Just go!“

“You wouldn't answer your phone.“

“What could inspire that level of fear?“

“I'm not trying to be rude, but you died.“

“What? And you've come to me for help?“

“You can't win this. You can't even fight it.“

“Give me that. Seriously, just give it to me.“

“What are you? What could you possibly be?“

“And it's a fairy tale, a legend. It can't be real.“

“Maybe I did, but I haven't yet. But I will have.“

“It's like... it's like I'm happy. Why am I happy?“

“Remember that night you flew away with me?“

“You graffitied the oldest cliff face in the universe.“

“I'm sorry. You're going to have to be very brave now.”

“You met him once, didn't you? I know he came here.”

“Don't raise your voice, don't look alarmed, just listen.“

“The sky is falling and you make jokes. Who are you?“

“It can disarm micro-explosives from up to twenty feet.”

“This once, just this one time, please, you have to run.“

“Yes, I know that, I'm not exactly one to miss the obvious.“

“I can't believe I've never thought of this before. It's genius!”

“Could you all just stay still a minute, because I am talking!“

“Anything that powerful, I'd know about it. Why don't I know?“

“Structures can hold memories, that's why houses have ghosts.”

“Does it ever bother you that your life doesn't make any sense?”

“You're not supposed to understand it. You're supposed to deliver it.”

“You have to run. You have to get as far away from here as you can!”

“People fall out of the world sometimes, but they always leave traces.“

“Everything that ever hated you is coming here tonight. You can't win this.”

“Look at this, even worse than his usual rubbish. What's it supposed to be?“

“It's just like being an organ donor, except you're alive and sort of screaming.“

“I'm missing something obvious. Something big. Something right slap in front of me.”

“What are you? They're all here, all of them, all for you. What could you possibly be?“

“Because we'd be killed instantly. So it would be a fairly short surprise. Forget surprise.“

“My favorite topic at school. ‘Invasion of the hot Italians’. Yeah, I did get marked down for the title.“

“You're the guy, yeah? The one who did the swordy thing. Well, thanks for the swording. Nice swording.“

“Nothing is ever forgotten, not completely. And if something can be remembered, it can come back.“

“Never ignore a coincidence, unless you're busy. In which case, always ignore a coincidence.“

“No, but if you buried the most dangerous thing in the universe, you'd want to remember where you put it.“

“Remember every black day I ever stopped you, and then... and then, do the smart thing. Let somebody else try first.“

“Come on! Look at me. No plan, no back up, no weapons worth a damn. Oh, and something else. I don't have anything to lose!“

“The universe is big. It's vast and complicated and ridiculous, and sometimes, very rarely, impossible things just happen and we call them miracles.”

“The most feared being in all the cosmos. And nothing could stop it, or hold it, or reason with it. One day it would just drop out of the sky and tear down your world.”

[spacexmagicxandxsheepxbleats]

🎵

//: Trying to find the right translation for this is a bit of a pain @ - @;

I didn’t bother to include any for the Norse/Germanic lyrics, as I’m having trouble finding an appropriate proximity to what it would be in English and so far the ones I’ve found have been ‘educated guesses’ :\Any way, her original Fire Team’s Titan Ulfar was a Northman. A Viking of a man that held his Norse ancestry rather proudly and when Arlo brought Ezra home from the wilds Ulfar took it upon himself to teach her the songs of his people. Which to the annoyance of their Hunter, the pair would sing in duet in the heat of battle. She’s also learned through, various research on Deathsingers, how to channel her Spacemagic though key points in the songs.

Min Warb NaseuWilr Made ThaimI Bormotha HauniHu WarHu War Opkam Har a Hit LotGot Nafiskr OrfAuim SuimadeFoki Afa GalandeWhat am I supposed to doIf I want to talk about peace and understandingBut you only understand the language of the swordWhat if I want to make you understand that the path you chose leads to downfallBut you only understand the language of the swordWhat if I want to tell you to leave me and my beloved ones in peaceBut you only understand the language of the swordI let the blade do the talking...So my tongue shall become ironAnd my words the mighty roar of warRevealing my divine anger´s arrow shall strikeAll action for the good of allI see my reflection in your eyesBut my new age has just begunThe sword is softIn the fire of the furnaceIt hungers to be hitAnd wants to have a hundred sistersIn the coldest state of their existenceThey may dance the maddestIn the morass of the red rainBeloved brother enemyI sing my sword song for youThe lullaby of obliterationSo I can wake up with a smileAnd bliss in my heartAnd bliss in my heartAnd bliss in my heartCoexistence, Conflict, combatDevastation, regeneration, transformationThat is the best I can do for youI see a grey gloom on the horizonThat promises a powerful sun to riseTo melt away all moonsIt will make the old fires of purificationLook like dying embersLook like dying embersLook like dying embersMin Warb NaseuWilr Made ThaimI Bormotha HauniHu WarHu War Opkam Har a Hit LotGot Nafiskr OrfAuim SuimadeFoki Afa GalandeHu WarHu War Opkam Har a Hit LotYlir Men Aero TheirEra Mela Os

[preservationandruin]

Oathbringer Liveblog, Part Three: Chapters 68-76

I’m not sure where half of these plotlines are going, but I’m intrigued! That’s how it always seems to go with these stories, isn’t it? 

Shallan goes out for lunch with a bard, Kal makes some friends, we meet Highmarshal Azure and I fall in love instantly, Dalinar has flashbacks, Shallan is having some identity trouble, and Dalinar burns a scar into Alethi history, and I cut this off because I’m legitimately too nauseous to keep reading. 

So Shallan and Wit are going to go out to eat. Not a sentence that I expected to write, but here we are. Apparently Wit promised the owner that he would draw patrons, and not only was bullshitting (of course) but also is now trying to use Shallan as proof he did what he said. He also lifted her purse at some point. Shallan is so confused. 

Wit is such a fucking bard. 

As he ushered her in, he raised a fist toward the innkeeper. “I’ve had enough of your oppression, tyrant! Secure your wine this evening, for the revolution will be swift, vengeful, and intoxicated!” Closing the door behind him, Wit shook his head. “That man really should know better by now. I have no idea why he continues to put up with me.” 

I mean, I���m not wrong. 

Shallan asks if he’s a Herald; he replies no, because “the last seven times” he tried to get involved in religion were all disasters. 

“I believe there’s at least one god still worshipping me by accident.”

The worst thing is, this is probably true. He reveals to Shallan that he’s far, far older than the Heralds, and notes that when he was young, he made a vow to “always be there when he was needed” but has realized that he should have been way more specific, because “there” is usually somewhere useless. 

Shallan and Wit are great snark companions, though. Shallan has to break the news to him that Sadeas is dead. 

“Someone offed old Sadeas, and I missed it?” “What would you have done? Helped him?”  “Storms, no. I’d have applauded.” 

Adolin has unknowingly gained a fan. 

Anyway, Wit knows which spren is in the palace--it’s called the Heart of the Revel, and it’s dangerous; it reminds Wit of something he used to find, and he tells Shallan she’ll need to bring food for their revels to get in. The Heart of the Revel seems to spur on hedonism. 

...it may have been controlling Aesudan for far longer, now that I think about it, and only awoke to full power with the Everstorm. Only Rei-Shephir was bound, after all. 

Also Wit stole some of Shallan’s money. Of course. 

Over to Kaladin! He tries Lashing, and notes that it seems to attract the shrieking spren. Kal also approves of the Voidbringer’s spear--it’s a good one for battle. Lightweaving, being “quiet” (according to Pattern) doesn’t attract them, but actively Lashing does--although just holding stormlight does not. 

Makes sense that fucking with gravity would be “loud,” though. 

“A party,” Kaladin said, pacing back and forth in the tailor shop’s showroom. Skar and Drehy leaned by the doorway, each with a spear in the crook of his arm.  “This is what they’re like,” Kaladin said. “Your city is practically burning. What should you do? Throw a party, obviously.” 

I’m with Kaladin on this one. First of all--the palace is inhabited by a spirit of hedonism called the Heart of the Revel and you throw a party? Second of all, this is high-quality “Nero fiddles while Rome burns” action happening. 

Drehy and Skar point out that it’s sort of like going out drinking during war, which is a good point, but still. 

[Casper gestures furiously toward the giant evil party spren in the castle while making a noise like a boiling teakettle]

Anyway, Adolin got a new outfit! Kal gives his opinion: 

“You look like you tripped and fell into a bucket of blue paint,” Kaladin said, “then tried to dry off with a handful of parched grass.” 

“And you look like what the storm leaves behind,” Adolin said, passing by and patting Kaladin on the shoulder. “We like you anyway. Every boy has a favorite stick he found out in the yard after the rains.” 

Adolin also has started to call Kaladin Kal. He also talks to Skar and Drehy and get their requests for food he can steal from the lighteyes’ table. I’m so glad that Adolin gets along well with Bridge Four now. He also offers to take them drinking the next day--apparently the three of them have gone drinking a few times since the pair of them stopped Adolin’s ass from falling in a chasm at the end of Words of Radiance. 

Anyway, we get that Kaladin doesn’t like lightweaving over his face--because it feels like lying to him, which makes sense. Interestingly, if you put all the orders in a circle, windrunners and lightweavers are opposites. I know this is news to nobody ok. 

Also, summoning the Sylblade doesn’t draw screamers, so at least Kal has that to fall back on. 

He felt good lots of days. Trouble was, on the bad days, that was hard to remember. At those times, for some reason, he felt like he had always been in darkness, and always would be.  Why was it so hard to remember? Did he have to keep slipping back down? Why couldn’t he stay up here in the sunlight, where everyone else lived? 

THIS IS A BIG MENTALLY ILL MOOD Y’ALL. Like, god, if that isn’t the story of my life. 

C’mon, Kal, we can do it. 

Anyway, Adolin notices that Kaladin is upset, and drops back to talk with him. They discuss whether or not Kaladin should train in side sword, then--

“Maybe I’m one of those punchy guys.”  Adolin stopped in place and grinned at Kaladin. “Did you just say ‘punchy guys?”’ “You know, ardents who train to fight unarmed.”  “Hand to hand?” “Hand to hand.”  “Right,” Adolin said. “Or ‘punchy guys,’ as everyone else calls them.”  Kaladin met his eyes, then found himself grinning back. “It’s the academic term.”  “Sure. Like swordy fellows. Or spearish chaps.”  “I once knew a real axalacious bloke,” Kaladin said. “He was great at psychological fights..”  “Psychological fights?”  “He could really get inside someone’s head.” 

This is too good for me to leave it out look at these pun idiots making jokes at each other. Anyway, Adolin is really excited about possibly teaching Kaladin sword, and also points out to be a good warrior he’s going to need to learn how to fight all kinds of people--and the best way to know how to do that is to practice with their weapons himself. 

When I was imprisoned for daring to accuse Amaram, he was the only lighteyes who stood up for me.  Adolin Kholin was simply a good person. Powder-blue clothing and all. You couldn’t hate a man like him: storms, you kind of had to like him. 

As I’ve said before: this is the good Kaladin and Adolin content I love to see. Shippy or not, it’s just good content. 

Anyway, Kal feels sick at the idea of going into the non-noble lighteyes’ tent like he’s supposed to, so he borrows a spear and decides to walk the block. Kal goes over to the wall, and Shallan’s illusion over his brands has dropped. It might just...work less well on Kaladin? 

Anyway, there are apparently free meals for deserters. He heads over and decides to talk to them to get his information on this Azure. 

The epigraphs from the gems are mentioning something called “the Sibling” that has withdrawn some from them. 

Anyway, Kal’s with the Wall Guard now. He also notes that he’s been spoiled by Rock’s cooking. Anyway, the state of the men speaks well in Kal’s mind of Highmarshal Azure, who he assumes is some midrank officer thrust into power by the chaos. 

Kal tells the basic truth about his shash brand--got in a squabble with Amaram, who killed some of his men. The sergeant keeps trying to recruit him, and Azure apparently has a Shardblade. 

And then Azure appears and I shriek, because she’s a lady. 

fuck YES. I feel like Eowyn is an appropriate reaction image. 

She’s orange-eyed, with short hair; she wears her Blade and doesn’t dismiss it, but it looks like a Shardblade. Weird. Anyway, have I mentioned that I’m perpetually gay for women and swords? Because I’m in love with Azure now. 

Anyway, she takes Kaladin up to the top of the barracks. Apparently it’s a “secret” that she’s female, despite her, well, obviously being female. Well, if that’s what it takes for the Alethi to rationalize it. She says that the wall is redemption--they’re the only thing between the Voidbringers and the people, and she trusts that Kaladin will be back to help eventually. Anyway, Kaladin suspects that she is a Radiant--which she honestly sounds like. 

Back to the Blackthorn, eleven years ago, in case seeing a female possibly-radiant being badass made you think everything wasn’t shit. 

Dalinar’s sent Adolin back to Kholinar, and has his forces attacking from the west while Sadeas’ attack from the east and have I mentioned that I do not trust any plan that a) has already been foreshadowed to end badly and b) involves both Blackthorn Dalinar and Sadeas in the same area? 

Anyway, Dalinar notes that Evi is being the “perfect Vorin wife” and that she’s so clearly miserable that it’s crushing him. Hey, bright idea, asshole--tell her she doesn’t have to and actually support her for once. Just saying. 

He notes that this is the first time an argument has bothered him this much. Maybe it’s because she made good points that you can’t dismiss by hitting things with a sword, Dalinar. Maybe you’re actually feeling guilt. Consider that. 

Anyway, he goes to talk to her. Evi says that she was praying for Dalinar’s heart to soften--not for her sake, but for the men he was riding out to kill. 

“I hate what this does to you,” she said softly. “I see beauty in you, Dalinar Kholin. I see a great man struggling against a terrible one. And sometimes, you get this look in your eyes. A horrible, terrifying nothingness. Like you have become a creature with no heart, feasting upon souls to fill that void, dragging painspren in your wake. It haunts me, Dalinar.” 

It seems a lot to me like Evi--coming from a culture where the Thrill isn’t normal--has a much clearer view of it than any of the Alethi. She sees it as the monster it is. She asks Dalinar to hold back, saying that his mercy against Tanalan--the boy--before was a sign of humanity, not a mistake. She asks him not to “feed it”--feed the darker version of him. Feed the thrill and, by extension, the Unmade that controls it. 

God, the thrill is toxic and awful. The more we see its effects, the more it makes my skin crawl. And it’s so normalized. 

Anyway, Dalinar notes that many of the men do see the Thrill as something external to them, a companion, which isn’t creepy at all. A silent companion with you always, rewarding you with euphoric highs when you slaughter people? One so regular that not feeling it is seen as strange? 

This is horrifying. It blatantly rewards slaughter and viciousness--and explains why Alethi culture is so combat-driven and violent. They’re all trained to think that this druglike high is the best reward possible, the most normal reaction to battle. 

Does Dalinar forget, sometimes, that it almost made him kill his brother? 

Dalinar asks to walk with Tanalan, reminding him that the last time they met, Dalinar should have killed him, and didn’t. Tanalan agrees; Dalinar compliments his forces, saying it will be a pity to kill them, and Tanalan asks if he can. 

Dalinar points out that he has never lost a battle. 

“My brother attempted words and politics to bring you into line,” Dalinar said. “Well. I’m good at only one thing. He builds. I destroy. But because of the tears of a good woman, I have come--against my better judgement--to offer you an alternative.” 

A great man battling a terrible one. That’s really the story of Dalinar. This time, it seems that for a moment, the great man won. 

Tanalan doesn’t accept the parlay, of course, but he says that it could have been a trap--one decided to catch the traitor, who, he says, was Sadeas. 

I wholeheartedly believe that. 

Anyway, Dalinar decides he’s going to check this out, following the caravan that they missed leaving Rathelas. I hope this works. I hope it works so, so much. 

Back to Shallan. 

Veil says that the city has a heartbeat, one she can hear when she closes her eyes. She’s investigating a noble house--but her illusions and roles are getting to her more and more. That’s alarming. For a moment, she even refers to the actual lady of the house as “an inferior version” and considers taking her place, and hurriedly drops the illusion. 

That’s very not good. 

“Sorry,” Veil said, grabbing a sack of grain. “That woman’s head is a frightening place.”  “Well, I did say Nananav is notoriously difficult.”  Yeah, Veil thought. But I was talking about Shallan. 

ANYWAY. They were doing a Serious Food Heist, but are about to get caught and thus are sprinting out of there. They nearly get caught, and Shallan makes herself look like a horrifyingly melting Nananav, who then gets shot in the head. 

YIKES. 

The stormlight healed the crossbow bolt inside her head holy fuck, so she needs to pull it out. She’s starting to worry Vathah. Anyway, Shallan asks the kid she gave food to earlier if there’s other people who need it, and gets the name of a seamstress, some refugee kids, and a cobbler, and she gives it to them. Veil likes doing things, helping people. 

Over to Kaladin. He seems to be back in the barracks, and one of the soldiers--who tells tall tales--is saying he met the Blackthorn. He’s officially joined the Guard, because Elhokar asked him to, and almost seems to be making friends there. Anyway, the guard sees and shit-talks Adolin a little, and we get that Kal is shit at acting lighteyed. 

“But,” Kaladin said, “how can you say that? I mean, he’s lighteyed. Like us.” He winced. Did that sound fake? it sure is nice being lighteyed as I, of course, has light eyes--like you, my eyes are lighter than the dark eyes of darkeyes. 

I’m fucking wheezing. And Kaladin is legitimately wanting to defend Adolin Kholin and his stupid bright clothes. 

Side note, everyone uses he/him pronouns for Azure. I’m not sure if that’s the soldiers just doing it because it’s weird using she/her for a general, or if that’s what Azure actually uses? I’ll try to use “they” to be safe until I get an actual verdict on that one. 

Anyway, their shardblade doesn’t have a gem on it, which is one reason Kal thinks they’re a Radiant. He notes that if they have Soulcasting, that would explain why the screamers haven’t come, although it looks like they do have a soulcaster. 

Although--they can’t have soulcasting. We know that Jasnah at the moment is the only Elsecaller, and Azure doesn’t seem like a Lightweaver. A Lightweaver would be wearing a disguise. 

Apparently, if you get too close to the Palace Guard, you hear whispering voices telling you to join them, but according to Azure they can’t get you if you don’t listen. Beard, as a side note, seems to be a Rosharan atheist. Kal seems less certain. 

Kal immediately starts acting as a commander when there’s an alert and then sheepishly realizes he’s not a commander. He’s also not used to forces that actually have surgeons. 

Back over to Veil. In the epigraphs,  we get the melancholy musings of a Windrunner as they leave Urithiru: 

Today, I leaped from the tower for the last time. I felt the wind dance around me as I fell all the way along the eastern side, past the tower, and to the foothills below. I’m going to miss that. 

Veil is starting to regularly supply food to some people, when she can. People are calling her the Swiftspren--a Robin-Hood-esque figure robbing the rich, uncatchable because she’s a spren. White hat, white coat, looking and acting different sometimes. She knows she’s thinking too small-scale--but still, it’s something she can actually do. 

She gives herself the illusion of being a cultist herself, but as Swiftspren--a beautiful glowing arrowhead, golden-tasseled with arrowhead designs. And, maybe, gets a little too far into it, because she hears what they hear whispering, and it calls her by name. 

So she stops, still looking like an actual spren, and changes the chanting. 

“There are spren,” Shallan said to the gathered crowd, using Lightweaving to twist and warp her voice, “and there are spren. You followed the dark ones. They whisper for you to abandon yourselves. They lie.”  The cultists gaped.  “We do not want your devotion. When have spren ever demanded devotion? Stop dancing in the streets and be men and women again. Strip off those idiotic costumes and return to your families!”  They didn’t move quickly enough, so she sent her tassels streaming upward, curling about one another, lengthening. A powerful light flashed from her.  “Go!” She shouted. 

She’s still shaken by how quickly their thinking wormed its way into her head. 

Anyway, Elhokar says that the pattern on her skirt--which is Pattern--is familiar. We get that Elhokar’s son will be three now, and he’s so concerned. Shallan gets her sketchbook. It’s him kneeling, beaten down, but he’s looking up. He looks regal. 

She gives it to him, and he’s almost in tears. And finally, Shallan gets a note--from the Cult. 

Man, a lot is happening. Shallan is losing herself. Elhokar seems to be finding himself. Kaladin is working with the guard. Kholinar is still choking to death on its own secrets. 

And, of course, we go eleven years ago, to Dalinar hunting down the team from the traitor highprince; he’s brought his elites. Unfortunately, the idea that Sadeas betrayed them--it gives him the Thrill, pumping it through him. He thinks it gives him focus. 

I doubt that. Anyway, he was drawn into a ravine, and just as he realized that none of it made sense--why would they wear Sadeas’ colors if they were a secret envoy, their uniforms are wrong--the ravine lip collapses into a landslide. For the second time, the Rift uses its own land against him. He survived--barely. 

But it was a trap. Designed to draw him in and crush him. The men are trying to dig him out--because he has Plate and Blade. They rush him, and he sees only red--and comes back to himself pounding a man’s head against the stones repeatedly. There is an entire pile of men lying behind him. The gemstone on Oathbringer cracked; he can’t dismiss it normally and,  uh, I just want to re-state, there is a pile of corpses of men he killed behind him. 

Evi looks at him, and she goes pale. She’s terrified of him, how he looks now. He made it back, barely. Evi tells him to rest, to sleep, to think. Sadeas tells him to push on now, to punish them. 

A great man fighting a terrible one, and we see who backs each side. Sadeas was always a terrible influence on Dalinar. 

“No, [make] oil. As much as we have gemstones for. Oh, and someone take my wife to her tent so she may recover from her unwarranted grief. Everyone else, gather round.” 

And we see which man wins, and it sure isn’t the great one. He’s going to torch the Rift. 

Oh, Dalinar. 

I’m glad that this is the third book, and we’ve had two books to learn to love him as he is now. I’m also glad that he didn’t remember this, that thinking about it gives him PTSD attacks, because I’m glad to know the man he has become would be as appalled by this as I am. 

Because if those weren’t true, I’d hate him. 

There’s a red mist clouding his vision. It won’t let him sleep. An envoy comes to fly the flag of truce, and Dalinar says to shoot them dead. Sadeas approves, of course. 

This is the Dalinar Sadeas missed, isn’t it? The strong one. The one who he thought could help Alethkar. Sadeas missed and idolized this fucking monster. 

Dalinar is specifically misleading Gavilar to think that he’s still dead, so Gavilar can’t supercede his direct orders. He knows Gavilar wouldn’t let him torch the Rift. So he’s making sure Gavilar thinks he’s dead. 

Oh, and in case this scene could get any worse, guess who is of course with Sadeas’s army. 

Amaram turned from where he stood with the other generals. 

Of course Amaram is there. Of course he is. He isn’t even doing anything particularly bad, but it’s like Brandon went “oh, what could make this scene worse? I know. Putting Meridas Amaram in there.” 

God. Did Amaram learn his “do things for the greater good” mentality watching at Sadeas and the Blackthorn’s side? He very well could have. 

Tanalan is trying to save his family. He didn’t hide in the saferoom. 

Dalinar was going to call the attack off, but Sadeas reminded him that he set a battalion to kill anyone escaping. Thanks to Sadeas’ actions, there is no way to save the city. 

“At least this time you didn’t hide in your hole. I don’t know who you let take cover there, but know they are dead. I took care of that with barrels of fire.”  Tanalan blinked, then started laughing with a frantic, crazed air. “You don’t know? How could you not know? But you killed our messengers. You poor fool. You poor, stupid fool.”  Dalinar seized him by the chin, though the man was still held by his soldiers. “What?”  “She came to us,” Tanalan said. “To plead. How could you have missed her? Do you track your own family so poorly? The hole you burned...we don’t hide there anymore. Everyone knows about it. Now it’s a prison.” 

Oh god. Oh no, no, no, no, no. 

No. 

Evi defected to try to plead for mercy. Dalinar shot all the messengers. They imprisoned her in the safehouse. 

Dalinar burned his own wife to death, blinded by the Thrill. 

I. I have to cut this here. I’m legitimately nauseous and shaking. Damn it. Damn it. 

No. 

God, do Adolin and Renarin know? They can’t. They must think Evi was assassinated. They don’t know that their father burned their mother to death. 

I can’t think about this anymore or I will, actually, puke. 

[ancient-trees]

So, tell me about your fictional children! I like hearing about people's characters! ^^

Thank you for asking! Putting this under a cut because it’s really long. Includes minor spoilers, especially for Tamuran, but nothing earth-shatteringly major unless you haven’t read the comic.

tl;dr:Varony: monster nerdEffire: snarky cobra nerdMath: grumpy old man nerdEmmie: +10 EPIC NERD also the best grandma

Versinthenet: dragon nerdRathe: swordie nerdPerrath: overly helpful nerd (w/ bonus cool doggo)Sukah: Gandalf is on strikeAleoth: the angstiest nerd

and Artreias: mostly an asshole (secretly a huge nerd on the inside, don’t tell anybody)

NERDS ALL NERDS.okay, read on:

I’ll start with Tamuran - I assume that’s what most people are following me for:

Varony you know if you read the comic - he’s the guy in my Tumblr icon. He belongs to a race of big arboreal predators that live deep in very dangerous forests, but for now he’s (sort of but not quite voluntarily) bound in the form of a big gangly human. For the most part he is okay with this arrangement (all except for the new “possibly permanent” aspect - see recent events in the comic). He’s endlessly curious, and he thinks humans are the weirdest, most bewilderingly fascinating things he’s ever encountered. He’s been human-shaped for (most of) about six years at this point - shortly after he was changed, he was found and taken in by a clan of traveling merchants, who taught him language and basically How To Human. They became a second family to him, as have the Ragtag Band of Adventurers he’s currently found his lot thrown in with, but sometimes he misses the trees.

Uh, stuff that I don’t think has been covered in the comic already: Back home, Varony (or Hhr'skhygh - approximation of his *growly-noises* real name) lived with his pack, which included his mother and three older siblings. His sister’s pretty cool, his brothers are jerks. He’s a good hunter, but his pack always saw him as something of a weirdo - asks too many pointless questions, wants to know EVERYTHING about EVERYTHING. When he was little he used to love listening to his grandfather tell his people’s folktales, and legends about the outside world. And yes, he’s officially ace/aro, species notwithstanding. Humans just complicate it even more - his people’s mating rituals are pretty straightforward, while humans’ involve all sorts of flirting and bizarre games that catch him off-guard (and have gotten him into a few ..uncomfortable situations in the past, if you want to know what the deal was with him freaking out on poor Jadsira in chapter 14).

Effire is a Morphus - one of the magical, long-lived Tu Naul race who was born with shapeshifting abilities. All Morphyx get bound into a single animal form and magically bonded to a “worthy” human (for the duration of the human partner’s life) as a sort of cultural exchange/community service. Effire was never too keen on that idea, especially after he found out his partner would be a Zharus Guardsman, and ESPECIALLY after his own bonded form turned out to be a cobra. But after getting used to one another, Effire found that his partner Morgen was a dreamer and idealist with a brain that never stopped - far from the meatheaded soldier-for-hire he was expecting. After their Zharus Academy training was complete, they were hired by the Patriarch of Tamuran to work palace intelligence and security and to keep an eye on the Patriarch’s elder sons as part of their personal guard (much to Prince Johlan’s irritation).

Effire tends to be cynical and sharp-tempered, but he means well. He would do anything for Morgen, whom he loves fiercely. He’s always liked exploring, especially poking around in places he’s not supposed to be. His favorite animals to turn into before he was bound were falcons, swallows, and other quick, agile birds - it was a pretty big blow to be stuck in a form that doesn’t even have limbs. Being part of a prince’s royal guard at least means he’s gotten to travel from time to time, and between Morgen and palace goings-on his life is seldom boring… though the way things have gone lately, he’s starting to really wish for boring…

Mathim hasn’t shown up in the comic yet - the Atriand-side plotline follows his story. He’s a former colonel in the Atriand army who was discharged early for an injury that never healed right, and at this point he’s retired to a town out in the wilderness, a cantankerous old bastard who spends his time drinking too much and cussing out the neighbor kids. His troublemaking teenaged grandson - the only living family he isn’t estranged from - disappeared about a year ago without a trace, though Math’s suspicions lean toward sorceric activity. When strangers pass through town bringing odd rumors, it might finally be the key Math needs to find the kidnappers. But Math has secrets - he was born with a forbidden form of magic, a dangerous, volatile power that has terrified him all his life. The same power that he passed on to his grandson, the power that made the boy a target of sorcerers in the first place. And now Math is going to need to unlock that power if he wants to have any hope of saving his boy…

Emianna was supposed to be a minor character, but she insisted on becoming a lot more important than we’d planned (and I’m glad she did). She’s Math’s wife, who died a few years before the comic story but still plays a big role in it. She was a huge nerd and avid naturalist, though poor health kept her working in libraries rather than pursuing science in the field. The daughter of a prominent Atriand military family, she used to pretend to be a bit daft at her family’s social functions, so that ambitious suitors would focus their attention on her sisters and leave her alone. At least until a shy young officer in search of a restroom literally stumbled over her reading in a closet during one of those parties… 

Emmie likes: books, books, and more books, SCIENCE, yaoi. And also being Gramma Emmie to her family - she’ll make you some amazing cookies, but you might have to pry her out of her lab to do it.

Novel characters: From several books, which are intended (if all goes well) to fit together like puzzle pieces and thus are sort-of in development at the same time (in other words, my notes are a mess).  Standard disclaimer that nothing is 100% canon till the books are finished.

Versinthenet is a dragon. In my setting, dragons are features of the landscape - half-physical, half-spirit beings that come into existence in places where intense magic pools and snags, and serve to tie Magic to the physical world. They can’t physically travel far from their magic “nodes,” but they can use the tides of Magic to communicate with other dragons and watch events as they unfold elsewhere in the world and also stupid cat videos.  Most dragons are located far from human settlements, but some of the ones who do live near humans use their influence over local magic to become patron protectors for their area, and in return the humans see to any physical-plane needs they may have. Verse (don’t call him that to his face) was one of these - fairly young as dragons go, he calmed the seas, quelled storms, and ensured good fishing for the people of his island. But centuries of watching human conflicts and atrocities, capped with events involving the death of his closest mentor, have started him questioning whether these people deserve his help after all. Then an idiot wizard shows up with the audacity to try to bind him and use his magic. The binding attempt goes horribly wrong - the wizard dies and Verse finds his consciousness pulled into the wizard’s body, while the rest of his Dragon self, mindless, flies off to wreak havoc, pulling frayed Magic into a hurricane around itself as it goes. Now Verse has to figure out how to set things right, while being blamed for the actions of the wizard who made this mess… before the dragon unleashes its wrath upon the whole island, or the islanders find a way to destroy the revered protector who has betrayed them. (Beyond all that, the consequences of such a tear in the network of magic may be farther-reaching than anyone is prepared for…)

So yeah, he’s not having a very good day.

Rathe is quick, athletic, great with a sword, and wants to be a hero like the ones in the storybooks. Unfortunately, she’s the daughter of a highly-respected family of scholars in a society that abhors all forms of violence and prizes learning and tradition above everything else. Events conspire to lead her away from home and into the life of adventure she’s always craved… but when her wizard traveling companion goes and does something really, really stupid, she’ll find out that heroing is a lot more complicated than she expected… especially when it involves facing personal secrets she thought were buried in the past.

Perrath has had a magical gift since he was a child - the ability to mend things that are broken - and a passion for helping people to go along with it. Unfortunately, one night a mysterious storm blew away all the magic in his village, including his innate talent, and he’s been searching for it ever since, with a sole still-functional(?) finding charm leading the way and his dog at his side (whom he talks to. A lot). He misses his magic, but he’s found that in the meantime he really enjoys a life of wandering - going wherever his finder points him, meeting new people and exploring places he’d never heard of, using his mundane skills to repair people’s things in order to get by. Until he finds himself in a sticky situation out in the uncharted wilds, and learns that promising to fix something for malevolent shadow-demons is maybe not a good idea…

Sukah is a semi-immortal guardian mage, bestowed with certain powers and nobly tasked with the protection of humanity. Only it’s hard to do your job when your partner has long since disappeared, halving your power, and nobody wants your help or even listens to your advice anymore. So he’s watched history unfold from the sidelines, telling himself that if people want to make a huge mess of things that’s their business.  A crisis involving two worlds and the fabric of magic itself, along with the reappearance of someone he’d thought long dead, might be enough to convince him to dust off his old magic and get back in the fight, but by then it might be too late…

Thanks to a valiant sacrifice-beyond-hope made by the parents she’s never known, Aleoth supposedly harbors within her the soul of a great evil… and no one has ever let her forget it. Stifled and stigmatized by those who were supposed to be her protectors, she runs away and takes up with a band of notorious brigands. But whatever she does, she can’t escape the unnerving creature that has haunted her dreams all her life, or the disasters that seem to follow her steps.  When [plot happens] and events begin to come crashing in around her, she’ll have to figure out who and what she is and what she really stands for.

{Bonus shoutout to my college D&D character Artreias, a sorcerer/planewalker from Sigil who got stuck in a shit-ton of trouble thanks to his sketchy mage father’s sketchy past and even more sketchy friends. Treias was a minor noble on his mom’s side, well-to-do and highly educated, but he acted like he was from the streets since all the nobles he ever met were twelve kinds of terrible. He’d do just about anything to protect his family, though (blood family and family-of-choice), especially his younger sister, and including Infuriating Sketchy Dad, whom he loved anyway. Unfortunately the rest of the party characters hated him, since (thanks to the mysterious circumstances that got him thrown into the campaign events) he had a “trust no one” attitude and could be kind of a jerk about it.}

[soreillia]

ahihi quick 4koma

Showing off a character’s handwriting-- MY OWN HANDWRITING SUCKS TOO MUCH TO EVEN TRY GETTING ON HER LVL IN BEAUTIFUL HANDWRITING SO IM JUST GONNA USE FONT LOL YOU CANNOT TELL ME THAT DIDN'T ACTUALLY HAPPEN IN THIS Sacred is supposed to have beautiful handwriting, but she cannot write properly and autocorrect isn't any better pls Sacred for what you even went to elite swordy school pls did they only teach you how to sword I actually wanted to make this joke for xmas, but then I didn't get to that also i didn't totally trace the 2nd panel from my old drawing of her uncle Soreillia/Sacred belongs to meeee