#(the fact that the second book starts around the time it was published and takes place during 11 years)

[marietheran]

No, you don't get it: the most tragic thing to ever happen in any of Lucy Maud Montgomery's books is that Anne would have been around 90 by the time The Lord of the Rings was published - and she would have loved it so...

And she absolutely did live to read it (look, I get to make the rules; it's canon from now on) but imagine her having access to it as a teen! Then, she definitely wasn't there to read The Silmarillion and these books were just written for her, you know...

(sad noises)

[hitomisuzuya]

NSFW Yandere! Venti headcanons. Fem!reader. Smut. Obsessive behavior. Breeding kink. Aphrodisiac.

These were supposed to be with the Yandere!Xiao Headcanons I wrote for @xxventiswindblumexx but my dumb ass got too excited and posted without adding Venti's headcanons. Also tagging @kichikichiko and @that-one-gay-writer1227

All it took was one mention of you wanting to draw Dvalin because you thought the dragon was beautiful.

"I want to draw Dvalin," you told your friend, "He deserves to appreciated for all he has been through."

After that, Venti was fixated on you.

He needed to know everything and anything about you.

He did a bit asking around. He found out some of your art had been published into a few light novels as illustrations.

Venti went and found every novel that had your art in it at Yae Publishing House. We went under a different name as an artist, but it had been easy to figure out it was you.

Just ask the right person with a few drinks and he found out what he wanted to know.

In fact, all that information had come from your friend. Three glasses of a fruity flavored wine and she told him everything he asked.

She didn't say where you lived or worked though, even when he reworded the question to indirectly get the answers he wanted. Your friend must be smarter than he gave her credit for. Venti had to admit he was frustrated.

So Venti constantly hung around Mondstadt, watching from his Statue in front of the Cathedral for a good vantage point until he caught sight of you.

He released dandelion seeds into the air that would tell him where you were at all times, relaying that information to him via the wind.

How lucky for him one day when he saw some men harassing you in the street.

"I'll have you know that it's rude to talk a lady in this manner. Now be gone," Venti looked totally sweet and innocent, even easy going, but on the insider, there was a storm of anger inside of him.

You shouldn't have to hear such lewd comments even though he thought the same things they'd said to you outloud.

Not in a crude way. But a romantic way.

Cause see, he finally noticed how perfect your hips were for carrying children. His children.

Getting you pregnant became his newest obsession. It was all he thought about. He even read every book about pregnancy he could get his hands on. And he hadn't even taken you out on a single date yet.

Your first date turned into a second date and then a third.

As the months passed, Venti couldn't take it anymore.

He gave a certain alchemist a recipe to make. It was just a harmless wine sweetener. At least that's what Albedo thought.

You didn't even taste anything when he slipped it into your wine.

"So, tell me, do you want children?"

It was an innocent question, one brought up disguised in idle conversation. He waited until he saw the aphrodisiac start to take effect.

Even if you said you didn't want kids right now, you surely would say yes because of how you were feeling.

To his delight, not only had you said yes, but you also asked him to take you home because you were feeling warm and needy.

Venti waited until you were on your knees, moaning with your lips around his cock to tell you, "How would like to carry the children of the Ameno Archon? It would be a high honor, don't you think?"

You struggled to nod as Venti pushed his cock to rest into your throat.

The aphrodisiac made you so sensitive. Even after he cummed inside of you, you still begged for more. Like you needed it. Like you craved it.

Like he craved you.

You even begged him to cum down your throat more than once.

It seemed you were absolutely insatiable that night.

And that was fine with him.

He fucked his cum back inside of you as many times as you asked. Provided you begged for it and worshipped him like a god blessing you with a privilege.

[georgescitadel]

George R.R. Martin on the process of creating A Game Of Thrones

You hold in your hands the second volume of A Song of Ice and Fire… but not the second volume as originally intended. Although I wrote the opening of A Game of Thrones back in the summer of 1991, as related in my introduction to the Meisha Merlin edition of that volume, it was not until October of 1993 that I drew up a proposal for my agents to take to publishers. There is no mention of any book titled A Clash of Kings in that proposal. In 1993, I was under the impression that I was writing a trilogy.

Trilogies had been the dominant form in epic fantasy ever since J.R.R. Tolkien’s The Lord of the Rings had been broken apart by publishers and released in three volumes. And the story that I wanted to tell divided quite naturally into three parts; much more so, in fact, than The Lord of the Rings, which is actually one fairly seamless narrative, and not a trilogy at all. I planned to title the books A Game of Thrones, A Dance with Dragons, and The Winds of Winter. I knew right from the start that they would all be large books. Huge books, even. But there were to be only three of them, and…and none were to be called A Clash of Kings. Sometimes the author is the last to know.

As I write this, I am halfway through the writing of A Feast for Crows, the fourth volume of my ‘trilogy.’ There is no mention of that title in my 1993 proposal either. These days, when pressed, I confidently assert that A Song of Ice and Fire will ultimately run to six books… but behind my back I know my lady Parris is smiling knowingly and holding up seven fingers. She may be right. Though I may dream of six books, plan for six books, work toward six books, the only thing that truly matters is the story. And the story needs to be as long as the story needs to be.

In Hollywood, the suits will tell you how long that is. A television show has to fit within its allotted time slot, of course, and you cannot beg, borrow, or steal an extra minute, no matter how much the story needs it. Running times are somewhat more flexible for films, though not as much as one might think. For the most part, the studios still want movies to run about two hours, so they look for screenplays of 120 pages or less, and demand cuts in any scripts that come in longer. My own screenplays and teleplays were almost always too long and too expensive in first draft, so in my later drafts, along with addressing the inevitable notes from studio, network, and producers, I was constantly trimming. In the end, I would deliver a shooting script that was the right length and under budget, but it was never a happy process… and I often went away feeling that the earlier drafts were the better ones.

The size of A Song of Ice and Fire was in no small part a reaction to ten years of trimming. I wanted to do something epic in scale, something at once grand and sprawling and complex and subtle, with a cast of thousands, huge battles, mighty castles, gorgeous costume, lavish feast, great rivers, towering mountains, vast fields… all the things I could not do in television. In short. I wanted to make a world. And for that you need a bit of room.

In my original proposal, I estimated that each volume of the trilogy might run as long as 800 pages in manuscript. The novels that I had written during the 70's and 80's, before Hollywood, had generally come in at 400 or 500 pages or thereabouts, so an 800 pages book seemed very lengthy indeed. The three books of the trilogy would be structured around the long, slow seasons of Westeros. A Game of Thrones would be summer’s book, A Dance with Dragons would take us through autumn, and The Winds of Winter… well, the title says it all. Even in the Seven Kingdoms, where a season can last for years, 800 pages ought to give me enough room to reach the end of summer and conclude the part of my tale, I reasoned.

‘Twas a lovely plan of battle… but no plan of battle ever survives contact with the enemy, it has been said. Writers know the truth of that as well as any general, though our wars are fought on blank white sheets of paper and empty computer screens. For the map is not the territory, the blueprint is not the house, the recipe is not the dinner… and the outline is never ever the book.

- George R.R. Martin, A Clash of Kings Limited Edition Introduction (2002)

[taylor-titmouse]

2023 Book Retrospective

it's pretty much the end of the year, and i've never done this before, but i wanted to take a look at what i managed to do in 2023 and share some of my thoughts on it! i published five novellas this year (though i didn't actually write one of them) plus the public release of the demo and first huge update to You're A Mage on Monsterfuck Mountain. that's a lot!

so let's dig into all that. this will contain some spoilers for the books, because it's hard to talk about them without talking about what's in 'em, so maybe check out my itchio first and grab anything you missed! (but also.... perhaps wait until this weekend before you buy anything. shh.)

You're A Mage on Monsterfuck Mountain, released in March

TECHNICALLY, the demo was finished and available on patreon around the end of last year, and didn't become public until I'd finished the garden update, which i did finish this year. and what a massive fuckin THING that was. 60k words! 50 illustrations!! the biggest thing i ever put out and technically finished, and the beginning of a move to being less afraid of writing "weird" sex. there was so much bee sex in it. arguably too much bee sex in it. which i'd left entirely til last to do which meant i was writing nothing but bee sex for weeks.

this was the first time i let myself really indulge in writing dubcon for the bad endings, and it was a lot of fun. very often it was more interesting than the deliberately horny routes, because it meant writing a way to be put in the situation, and also making it hot every time. i'm very much of the philosophy with dubcon that even if the situation wasn't Ideal for the character, they're still going to get good sex out of it. i believe i put it at another point as, i'm here to write the pleasure of helplessness, not suffering. to that point, the dubcon endings for the armor, the dryad, and the queen bee were my favorite bits from this.

the fact i never got a second update out this year is a big regret. i finished a bunch of the routes for it, but ultimately i wanted to have things i could release! shortly after publishing the demo and update, i officially put my webcomic on hiatus so i could focus more on my graphic novel, and also spend more time on my writing. having that extra time is probably the only reason i was able to write as much as i did this year, and i didn't want to spend it toiling away on a serial project i couldn't release for months at a time.

which leads us to the release of my first novella of the year...

House of the Risen King, released in April

now this is when i truly said "i'm just going to write what i think is hot and interesting and not worry about how it's perceived!!" and went whole hog on exhibitionism and monster dubcon cult horror. house was mostly inspired by the ending of Hereditary, and was originally going to be more poltergiesty and played more straight, with vee being harangued by a bunch of horny ghost-demons and nothing more sinister than that. but i've had cult shit percolating at the back of my brain forever, and i wanted to play with ideas i'd first developed in shadow in the shelves with rituals and shadows, so here we are! the scene of hettie fingering vee in the bathtub while vee's god-fucked out of her mind is my favorite.

fun fact, the original seed for this book was actually going to feature max and mortis, my photographer/model couple (that link goes to cohost because i wasn't posting here yet when i was drawing them the most). the idea was they'd go do an urban exploration shoot and mortis would start getting fucked by a ghost while max filmed it, but the more time i spent with those characters the less i wanted to involve the supernatural. which meant i never wrote their book, and had to make a new character to do the idea. and then it wasn't even that idea anymore.

that's writing, folks

Roger Crenshaw: The Dogs at Duskfall, released in June

... which makes it ironic that the next book is one i didn't even write! r/l monroe @mortalityplays has been my friend for years, and was my editor for a long time (until he got a REAL JOB and didn't have TIME to edit anymore. sobs, cries, kicks a stone and walks into the distance). he's also always been an incredible writer, and for my birthday this year i asked him to write me something. i asked with the expectation of a little short story about our old tabletop RP characters, or a fanfic scene for one of my books he'd edited.

and then he wrote me 20,000+ words digging into the character of roger crenshaw and who he is that perfectly summed him up and tied all his stories together, such that i don't think i ever need to write another one. he did it, he wrote the perfect ending to roger. AND he did it using my favorite of his ocs from our tabletop campaign, AND there's some really hot and sweet smut in it. AND HE DID IT IN LIKE TWO WEEKS.

i loved it so much that i asked if i could illustrate and publish it as an official novella, and to my delight he agreed, and it was so so nice to collaborate with him on it. even if it meant beating our heads against the wall for 30 minutes about the placement of certain images on the page.

this was a great tragedy. i'd drawn the vagina one first, but an image earlier in the book had to be moved, which affected the placement of everything else. the vagina image had been perfectly at the start of a new page, and then suddenly it wasn't. so i had to do the penis one instead for better placement. tragic!!!

it's hard to pick a favorite scene in something written entirely, lovingly for you. how can i choose between the characters' pitch perfect semantic arguments on the nature of folk lore, the millenium princess-ass memory hopping, or the really really hot smut? i can't. i love it all. thank you r/l for being so good at what you do and writing this for me, i'll treasure it always.

The Dragon Double Feature, released in May

apparently this came out in may, and not july. i don't know why i've been convinced this came out in july. oh well i can't be bothered to insert it on top of the roger one.

anyway. THIS book. this book exists because i believe at the time i was a bit blocked, and wanted to just write SOMETHING. for a long time i've had the idea of a dragon wrecking a princess' wedding and fucking her in front of the congregation just sitting in my back pocket. it was the 'i know i could just slam this out if i wanted. i don't have to care about it it's just sex and then it's done' fallback idea, and i finally did it!

and then it was too short. i don't like the idea of publishing anything less than 10k words for full price, so i was like. okay. alright. i've always thought fucking an eastern dragon would be hot and have this other idea i was going to use for roger (back when i had an idea for every monster possible for roger), let's just write that. kenta is only kenta because i took a poll for what body type i should pair with a dragon (he was 'big boy', i think the other options were twink, older woman, and average woman). and i was also Really into the movie inu-oh at the time, which is probably obvious with kenta being a blind musician, lol.

the musician and the waterfall was tougher to write because i didn't have a clear vision of how it should end or even how they should fuck (the mechanics of fucking long noodle dragon have challenged me for years) but i'm ultimately pleased with it. it would have been a long time since i wrote something sincerely romantic, and it was nice to go back to it. i'm a HUGE romantic at heart.

both stories are pretty much one extended scene so it's hard to pick a favorite moment from them, but i will say i'm very pleased with how i approached writing the musician and the waterfall, specifically in the challenge i set myself to never use visual description kenta couldn't reasonably guess. writing from the POV of a blind man made me focus in on different senses and ways to describe them.

this book is also, as of right now, my best seller. which is great! i love that for me.

The Dragon Double Feature 2, released in July

okay i guess THIS one released in july.

anyway i got stricken with the curse with this one. a lot of people wanted me to write a sequel, but i wasn't going to. and every time i say i'm not going to do something, i end up doing it. it's so annoying. this one only happened because i wanted to write a SHORT! a SHORT extra for patreon describing kenta and wakatake's first time having sex as humans.

and then i wrote too much preamble describing their time on the beach. and then i got emotionally invested in unpacking their actual relationship, and also added a third character with mrs arakawa, and had to bring it all together into a story that was coherent and had something to say about the way they loved and ALSO ended in a THREESOME because WHATS THE POINT OF INTRODUCING A THIRD CHARACTER if they aren't all going to FUCK TOGETHER!!

it was tough. but i'm really, really happy with it in the end, and think it's one of the best things i've ever written. my favorite scene is definitely them playing with the hermit crab on the beach. metaphors babie.

the gundrid/eveline story is fine too. lmao. i NEVER PLANNED TO WRITE ANOTHER WITH THEM!! i only did it because the idea of publishing a sequel to a story from a double feature without writing a sequel to the other half of the feature was insane. and now eveline and gundrid are some of my most beloved characters, to the point of writing another book featuring them...

The Tenebrous Tower, released November

yet another book i'm pretty sure i was like 'i don't need to write this. this character doesn't work for a story on his own, what am i ever gonna do with him' and then i dumped a bunch of fantasy characters into a jar with him and suddenly i had a story. I ONLY MADE ROMICK BECAUSE I WANTED TO DRAW FUCKED UP WIZARD PORN AND MY ONLY OTHER OPTION WAS A GRANDPA!!!

anyway i started writing it as something to do on vacation, and it was just gonna be a bunch of dungeon bdsm vignettes until i hit on a throughline and suddenly i had a story and an emotional arc and damn i did it again. i did it again. i have a book.

i was expecting this one not to do very well because it had multiple prerequisites, but because i am a master of my craft i made sure to write it so you didn't need to read those. and then people read it without reading those. so it worked out anyway and now it's done just about as well as dragons 2. the people love romick, but they especially love the idea of him being destroyed. maybe someday. maybe someday. (except on patreon, where it's already happened)

the final vignette with the doll is, of course my favorite. i think it was a lot of people's favorites.

............................................

and that's everything i published this year! honorable mention to my novel starbuster, which i'd written most of last year, then spent all of october this year revising with the intent of finishing it, only to run out of steam by the time i was done revising it. so it's exactly where i left it last year. just better written. god it would be nice to finish that fuckin thing next year.

my goals for 2024 are, of course: release more books!! i have a big project i've been working on illustrating for the past month that i'd like to release in january, and i've also been working on a spin-off one-shot with mrs arakawa and an oni. i think this coming year i want to Try to blast through some of the one-off ideas i developed this year so they'll quit banging cowbells in my brain. like the sleeping garden. it makes me insane i never actually wrote the sleeping garden.

anyway if you actually made it to the end of this, thank you!! if you've bought all of these books, double thank you!!! i've been able to pay my rent and expenses just with my adult work this year, and it's been amazing and fun and super fulfilling. thank you for supporting me in 2023, here's to a horny 2024!!

[the-nosy-neighbor]

Poe

So, still digesting this information. 

Also, I just realized that the wiki has links to Clown’s past comments about each character, so I have been enjoying reading those.  I did a deep dive a while back, but didn’t see some of the things added.

The main thing I see here, if people aren’t familiar with the works of Edward Allen Poe, is the fact that two of his stories are referenced in the book.  I assume most people are going to know, as his stuff is pretty popular and references abound.  Sally has determined that they are going to do her version of “The Tell-tale Heart.” I wish we got to hear more about what her version was like, but we do get a small idea.  The second references is “The Cask of Amontillado.”  I’m going to do a super basic description of each story—I have read these in the past, but I’m using general info from Wikipedia as a source.

In “The Telltale Heart” (which I saw a feminist play version of recently), the story follows an unnamed person who lives with an old man and becomes obsessed with the idea that his “milky” eye (probably cataracts) is watching him at all times.  He decides that he is going to have to kill him to get rid of this evil eye.  He goes in at night with a shuttered lantern to observe the old man while he sleeps.  For seven days, he doesn’t see the eye.  On the eighth, the old man wakes up (I think the main character makes a noise) and then when the shaft of light lands on his unusual eye, decides that this is the sign he needs to go ahead and kill him. 

Check out this awesome art from Wikipedia, an illustration by Harry Clark in 1923

He hears the old man’s heartbeat at this point.  The old man cries out once and then dies.  So he kills him, dismembers him, and buries him under the floorboards of the old man’s room.  But someone heard the scream, so the police come.  He has taken care of everything suspicious, so he doesn’t think that they are going to find anything, but he keeps hearing the heartbeat.  He brings chairs to the old man’s room, and they sit there.  The heartbeat keeps getting louder and louder, but the cops don’t seem to hear it.  Eventually, the sound of the heartbeat breaks him, and he confesses to the crime.  He tells them where the body is hidden. 

The story was published in January of 1843 in a magazine.  Interesting tidbit, it was published with a poem claimed by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, called “A Psalm of Life” but when Poe’s story was republished, he had them drop the poem, because he thought it could be plagiarized.  It was first published anonymously, and some felt that if it was Wadsworth’s, it could be a translation of Goethe.  The poem is about seizing the day, doing great things. 

Now, the second piece, “The Cask of Amontillado” is also a story about premeditated murder.  In this case, it follows an Italian noble who has fallen on hard times, who hates a man he blames for his bad fortune.  The hated man is called “Fortunato,” and the murderer is called “Montresor” which is a family name.    So, it’s Carnival (Carnevale), which has parades, costumes, masks, games, pranks, theatre performances among other celebrations.  Mardi Gras is descended from this festival.  Montresor finds Fortunato wandering around drunk (and it is insinuated that while he is called a connoisseur he could be a garden variety alcoholic).  Having planned for revenge against the guy, he asks him to come to his house and check out this rare wine he bought, known for being counterfeit most of the time.  Given that Fortunato has a taste for wines, he is going to give his opinion.  Monstresor thinks with carnival happening around them, and both of them in carnival garb and masks, no one will notice them going to his house. 

He takes the guy down to his basement, giving him some wine on the way down to keep him drunk, and instead of wine, there is a chain on the wall with a lock on the other side.  Montresor locks him in, and starts to build a wall around him.  Fortunato tries to take it as a joke, but it becomes apparent that Montresor is going to leave him there.  Fortunato begs for them to leave and drink the wine together, while his murderer agrees with everything he says, still building the wall.  With one brick left, Montresor looks at him, and calls his name twice:

I heard no answer.  “Fortunato!” I cried.  “Fortunato.” I heard only a soft, low sound, a half-cry of fear.  My heart grew sick; it must have been the cold.  I hurried to force the last stone into its position.  And I put the old bones again in a pile against the way.  For half a century now no human hand has touched them.  May he rest in peace!

Also notable in this story is the imagery of Montresor’s family crest, which shows a foot crushing a snake, while the snake has its fangs in the heel of the foot.  I read a discussion on the somewhat circular nature of this image, because the viewer can’t tell who the aggressor is there.  Did the snake bite first, or did the heel crush first?  “Montresor” means “my treasure;” “Fortunato” means “lucky, fortunate, blessed, or happy.”  Fortunato is also the name of many Christian saints.

What does this mean for Poppy? And Sally?  In our story, Sally is distraught that she suggested that Poppy act in the play, having forgotten (somehow) that Poppy is scared of everything, until everyone reminds her that Poppy is scared of everything.  Barnaby says “brick by brick,” which gives Barnaby the idea to brick Poppy into her barn.  Truly bizarre.  So all the neighbors (minus Home) set to work bricking up her window with school glue and bricks.  Interestingly, all the neighbors appear to be there, but you don’t see the hands of Frank or Sally, just trowels. 

You see a shot of the interior of the barn with just a small part remaining open, with Sally’s face in the hole.  Then a line says “Never had a home look so safe and cozy!” (sic, not sure about that, typo?)  Agree to disagree, that sounds terrifying. 

Poppy being out of the play altogether means that Home is in the play.  We see the other neighbors prepping, so I assume that the page where they are all in windows shows what each one is doing:  Wally is painting (scenery?), Frank is brushing Julie’s hair, Howdy is putting chairs out (?), Barnaby is eating a hot dog, home is staring directly at us, and Eddie is studying lines.  Sally, in the center is being bummed that Poppy isn’t participating.  Given that Home is in the background of the play itself, I am going to assume that Julie is the main character, Eddie is Cop 1 and Home is Cop 2.  The play ends with the confession scene, but Julie confesses burying her alarm clock in a garden, not a murder.  Home has three black dots on the front, but I can’t tell if that is some kind of decoration for the play, or if it is more of the black stuff that is on everything. 

After the play, we are treated to silhouettes of the audience and cast, but we don’t have the audio of the lines there, instead, we are hearing Poppy’s panic.  But it does have the line, “Most important of all, not a single peep was heard out of Poppy.” Then there is a page of a feather on a brick page (that reminds me of the old missing art that isn’t canon. 

The book ends with an image of the bricked over window.  While the audio tells us she is fine, the images themselves are suspect.  More to come later.

[fourthwingfanclub]

Violets Second Signet **Spoiler Warning**

Ok, after a long time thinking about this, and reading Iron Flame 4 times I think I am ready to theorize my idea for Violets second signet.

Let's start by summarizing what we know.

I have seen that some people have speculated that her signet is Distance wielder because she asked Xaden if that was his. While I don't think that was just brought up without a purpose, I don't think that would be her signet. (I think Aaric might end up being that).

I also think Violet's signet is going to be something that either we have never seen before, or very rare. This power comes from Andarna, she's a special breed of Dragon that has been basically extinct for 650 years.

Signets are based on the rider, and what they need most at their core. Violet needs information, Facts.

It is also mentioned many times that Violet has a mind of a scribe and the heart of a rider. I think this is important, more important than we know yet.

I think Violet can process events and information in slow motion. I think she can see everything around her happening, giving her time to process and record the events within her mind. While this doesn't seem significant, to Violet its everything. There are a few events that's stood out to me that made me think this.

First, when she reviews what Aiofe wrote and admits she missed some things. Also, Jesinia mentions that stories can change depending on who is transcribing them. Violet is mad about the amount of information that has been forgotten or changed due to scribes hiding the Venin from Navarre. She would want to recount everything correctly.

“Absolutely.” I nod, then take the notebook and skim Aoife’s neat handwriting. It’s amazingly accurate, with little details I’d missed, like the two infantry cadets who’d offered to be the healers’ aides because that’s their job for the squad. They have designated roles for each mission. I set it down on top of the book I’m returning to sign. “This is incredible.” “Glad to hear it’s accurate.” She glances over her shoulder, as if checking to see if we’re alone, which we are. “The tricky thing is to capture the truth and not just an interpretation. Stories can change depending on who tells them.”

Yarros, Rebecca. Iron Flame (The Empyrean Book 2) (p. 224). Entangled Publishing, LLC. Kindle Edition.

Second, the way some of the events and wording were portrayed made me suspicious that these were written a specific way. They were very detailed catching events that were happening in seconds or described as happening in slow motion. I think we see some clues to this being her signet once we get to Part 2 of the book and Andarna is awake and Channeling. We know Violets first signet showed up right after she started channeling with Tairn (that first kiss with Xaden), so it would make sense that she could have been showing signs of her second signet without realizing it. I don't think she was fully able to wield until the final battle though. My reasoning for this is if she was, even if she was unaware, Tairn would have sensed her pulling power from another source and wielding. If he did during the battle, we won't know that until the 3rd book since we don't get much info on events once battle has ended.

Examples of her signet showing up prior to final battle as follows...

Time slows to sluggish heartbeats as I watch him reach for the ground.

Yarros, Rebecca. Iron Flame (The Empyrean Book 2) (p. 567). Entangled Publishing, LLC. Kindle Edition.

Everything somehow slows and yet happens at once.

Yarros, Rebecca. Iron Flame (The Empyrean Book 2) (p. 597). Entangled Publishing, LLC. Kindle Edition.

Time slows to heartbeats, my breath freezing in my heated chest. Then the wyvern crosses the invisible barrier, and my heart stops beating altogether as its wings flap once. Twice.

Yarros, Rebecca. Iron Flame (The Empyrean Book 2) (p. 745). Entangled Publishing, LLC. Kindle Edition.

During the battle, two events really stood out - when Violet was waiting for the Venin to come upon them and worried about her friends. She says they have 10 seconds maybe. It is then described in detail all the events taking place a second at a time. Shes following this dagger being repaired while simultaneously aware of everything and everyone around her. She is able to gather copious amounts of information in a short, small amount of time.

One. Ridoc waves his hands at my right, holding a dagger that’s been snapped in two. Shit, if his only remaining blade is broken—I blink when the pieces disappear. He wasn’t waving at me. Two. Snapping my head to the left, I find the pieces already in Rhiannon’s hands as Feirge dives to where Sliseag hovers beneath. Three. Feirge flies alongside Sliseag, and Rhiannon tosses the pieces. Four. To Sawyer’s credit, he catches them. Five. Sgaeyl rises to take Feirge’s place, and I lock eyes with Xaden only long enough to see that he’s unharmed. Blood both drips from Sgaeyl’s mouth and runs in rain-driven rivulets down the side of Xaden’s face, but I instinctively know it’s not his and focus on the imminent threat. Six. Breathe. I have to breathe through the firestorm in my chest or I’ll burn out. It’s not that I don’t recognize the signs: the trembling, the heat, the fatigue. It’s just that they don’t matter. Everyone I love is on this field. Seven. They’re almost on us, and I look down at the ward chamber, where Marbh stands watch with a Blue Clubtail I don’t recognize and a vague shape I hope is Andarna, and when a flash of sunlight reflects on the dagger in Sawyer’s hand, it disappears again, Feirge already on the move. Eight. “Dajalair is frustrated by the unflyable conditions,” Tairn relays as Feirge rises alongside Aotrom. Nine. “Tell them they’re more efficient guarding the courtyard and incoming wounded than struggling with waterlogged wings,” I note. “They’d be a liability up here right now, not an asset.” The dagger changes hands, and Ridoc is once again armed. I grin at how seamlessly we work as a team, then face the coming tidal wave. Ten. “You’re beginning to think—” Tairn starts. “Like Brennan?” I suggest as the wyvern enter our airspace. “Like Tairn,” Sgaeyl answers,

Yarros, Rebecca. Iron Flame (The Empyrean Book 2) (pp. 827-828). Entangled Publishing, LLC. Kindle Edition.

The last scene that made me think this was when Sawyer and Aotrom was being attacked by multiple wyverns. Violet is able to assess the situation, gather the information, which gave her the opportunity to save her friends. I think this speaks directly to the battle at Resson, her world had been so turned upside down with the realization that everything she knew was false she was unable to fully piece together the information she did know about how wyvern is made from Venin, she feels responsible for Liam.

We’re almost there, but everything happens so fucking fast that it’s as if the rest of the world slows down. In one heartbeat, the closest wyvern opens its jaws. In the second, it blasts green fire across Sliseag and Sawyer dives backward out of the seat, narrowly avoiding being burned to death and rolling down Sliseag’s spine with a smoking boot. In the third, it completes its assault, snapping at Sliseag’s exposed side. Sawyer kicks at the gaping jaws to save his dragon from the bite, but in the next, he takes it himself, his leg disappearing between the wyvern’s massive teeth.

Yarros, Rebecca. Iron Flame (The Empyrean Book 2) (p. 833). Entangled Publishing, LLC. Kindle Edition.

With that I leave you with this blurb from Xaden

“You have to find your center again, Violet. I can’t do it for you.” He holds my gaze, letting his words sink in, before adding, “You are a creature of logic and facts, and everything you know got turned upside down and shaken. You’ll never know how truly sorry I am for that. But you can’t just sit there and hope. You want it to change, then you have to figure it out, just like Gauntlet. You’re the only one who can.”

Yarros, Rebecca. Iron Flame (The Empyrean Book 2) (p. 663). Entangled Publishing, LLC. Kindle Edition.

[endiness]

here's what a rough timeline of the whole hc + demayo situation looks like taking all of the rumors like the deuxmoi podcast and everything into account

????

sometime before s2 wraps — hc and demayo allegedly form "a weird alliance"

sometime during the production of s2 — demayo is fired from the witcher for allegedly being emotionally and physically abusive and "#metoo" related reasons

sometime after demayo was fired — hc allegedly "goes to BAT for demayo and tries to get him reinstated and threatens to hold up the production of the show over it"

2021

april 2, 2021 — filming for s2 of the witcher wraps

sometime during summer 2021 — netflix looks into recasting geralt

june 27, 2021 — hc is rumored to've signed on to do 5 more seasons of the witcher, though, the original article from wegothiscovered states: "it might be more of a handshake agreement rather than an actual contract locked in place"

july 9, 2021 — at witchercon, hc pushes the narrative about how important adhering to the source material is to him to deflect from the role he played in the show deviating from the books and because he's big mad that he's co-lead with two women (like the books) and that the show heavily centers around women (like the books)

mid-late july 2021 — the writers' room for s3 opens

july 27, 2021 — demayo is seen on hc's phone

august 23, 2021 — nightmare of the wolf premieres

november 10, 2021 — the article that originates the idea that "hc is willing to do the show for 7 seasons so long as the show respects the source material" is published

november 12, 2021 — after not being properly vetted for why he was fired from the witcher, demayo is hired as the showrunner for x-men 97

december 2021 — during press for s2, hc starts heavily pushing the narrative about how important adhering to the source material is to him to deflect from how he is responsible for, or at least had a hand in, a lot of changes in the show that went against the books and because he's big mad that he's co-lead with two women (like the books) and that the show heavily centers around women (like the books)

december 17, 2021 — s2 of the witcher premieres

2022

april 4, 2022 — filming for s3 of the witcher starts

late july to early august 2022 — production shuts down for 2 weeks apparently due to hc getting covid

sometime during the production of s3 — hc is allegedly fired due to sexist behavior

second half of summer 2022 — liam is hired

sometime during the production of s3 — some staff start following liam on sm

early september 2022 — filming for s3 of the witcher wraps

september 12, 2022 — RI reports that the witcher is rumored to have been renewed for s4 and s5; the cast (sans hc) presumably renegotiate their contracts around this time

october 23, 2022 — demayo lies and says that the witcher writers hate the source material to incite the fanbase against them and the show

october 23, 2022 — the witcher writers deny this and it's revealed that demayo was fired for allegedly being emotionally and physically abusive

october 24, 2022 — hc announces he'll be back as superman, though, according to a report from the wrap: "there’s currently no writer or director attached to the project and there’s currently no formal deal with Cavill to return."

october 29, 2022 — hc announces he will not be returning for the witcher after s3 and that liam will be taking over

november 18, 2022 — the wrap reports the following: "According to numerous insiders with knowledge of the situation, although it has been previously reported that the search for a writer was currently underway, the fact is there’s currently no writer or director attached to the project and there’s currently no formal deal with Cavill to return. Additionally, according to an insider, as it currently stands at the moment there’s no forward momentum on the project while newly installed DC Studio bosses James Gunn and Peter Safran have been busy fine-tuning their long range plan for the DCU."

december 7, 2022 — additional rumors start that hc may not be returning as superman

december 14, 2022 — hc announces that he will not be returning as superman

december 15, 2022 — the deuxmoi podcast episode that alleges that hc was fired for sexist behavior comes out, which includes this bit of information: "[hc] formed a weird alliance with one writer who was also a gamer, who eventually got fired after multiple HR complaints were made"

december 15, 2022 — a comment on reddit appears to corroborate the deuxmoi podcast episode, specifically the part about demayo and how he was fired from the witcher allegedly for "#metoo" related complaints

december 16, 2022 — hc announces his involvement with a warhammer project at amazon

and then obvs there's all the stuff with demayo getting fired from x97 and the leaks about what he was allegedly fired for which appear to corroborate why he was fired from the witcher but i don't really wanna get into that.

[hiimawarish]

bad for business

s. ayato teases you while you're both supposed to be working. cw. pure unadultered fluff. ayato being a menace. established relationship. female/afab reader. tw. none. not proofread. wc. 0.7k a/n. maybe a lil self-ship since i made the reader an editor from yae publishing house? in any case, it's just ayato enjoying teasing the heck out of you because he's a menace like that. credits. dividers by @/cafekitsune.

“Stop that.”

A rumble of laughter echoes at your words, ripples of chuckles bouncing from wall to wall in the expanse of the Yashiro Commissioner's office. You glance up from your book, cheeks tinged in pink at the amused grin dancing on Ayato’s lips. At the sight of your flush, his smile seems to widen, and you wonder if it would be okay to throw the book at him. It would not, but the urge does not disappear as quickly as it does at other times.

“Stop what?” He finally says. There’s feign ignorance on his expression—one that would surely fool most people, but not you. You’ve been around your boyfriend long enough to see through the cracks of his mask. 

“You know what.”

More laughter fills the room. You puff out your cheeks in that expression he loves so much, the way you pout when he insists on teasing you, the gleaming shame in your eyes as you struggle to handle his devotion. Ayato loves seeing you squirm, that much is true, but more than that he loves you.

“I am merely watching you,” He says, the silk of his voice a reminder of the effect he has on you. An effect he is aware of. An effect he seems to be counting on. “I wasn’t aware that was a crime.”

“You’re distracting me.”

“I am watching you, love,” He chuckles again. “Am I such a distracting presence, then?”

“Shouldn’t you be working?”

Ah, a change in topic. An attempt, actually, he thinks. The lilac of his eyes glows with amusement as you squirm under his gaze, eyes desperately trying to focus on the words in front of you instead of his eyes on your frame. It does not seem to be working very well, he realizes; you’re awfully aware of him, of the fact that he has stopped working through the very boring requests that come to his door every day. 

“Ah, but to work one must also take breaks,” Ayato muses, crossing his arms across his chest with a self-satisfied grin. A smile that you wish you could erase from his face by throwing the damn book at him. You won’t, though. He knows that much. “Weren’t you the one who insisted I take breaks, dear?”

“And you suggested I accompany you while you work,” You remind him. Your eyes look down at the book in your hands—a manuscript you’re supposed to have read by tonight, so you can start working on editing tomorrow. “Maybe it’d be better if I leave you to work.”

Ah, you’ve reached your limit, Ayato thinks. There is only so much teasing you can take, so much tension, and the habit of running away prevailed no matter how much he tried to erase it. You still run from him when you feel overwhelmed. You run at the first chance, he knows, but this time he won’t allow you to. 

He watches you as you pull yourself to your feet, the kimono he had bought for you a few weeks ago hiding your curves in plain sight. Your hair is half down, as you always wear it; all up gives you headaches, and all down ends up all over your face. Ayato knows all these little nuances from you just by paying silent attention to your every word, your every action—like how you enjoy reading a few pages before going to bed, or how you seem to like savory snacks more than sweet ones, or that awkward smile you always seem to give whenever you’re asked about your relationship, how you never know what to say, what to share. You’re far too respectful, he thinks; you worry too much about his reputation. 

As you walk past his desk, though, he acts.

His hands reach for your arm, and in a matter of seconds, he’s got you on his lap, trapped between the protective cage of his arms. The yelp that escaped your lips hidden behind his amused chuckle as he cradles you against his chest, his beating heart right against your ear. 

“There,” Ayato hums, contently. “Much better.”

The manuscript is forgotten on the ground as he holds you, and you wonder for a few seconds if you should go ahead and chide him… but decide against it. You relax in his arms, enjoying his warmth, closing your eyes to indulge him and yourself in the sweetness of an ephemeral moment in the busy lives you lead.

You sigh. He laughs.

The Yashiro Commissioner can be bad for business, but, archons, is he good for your heart.

more works.

©2023 hiimawarish do not translate, repost, copy, modify

[sweetkpopmusings]

long for you (interlude) | h. hyunjin <3

a/n: here's the interlude! only one more part of the fic left after this </3 this one is angsty, but i hope you enjoy it nevertheless >.< currently at work so i might make edits to it later lol if you want to be added to the tag list, you can reply to this post or send me an ask! pics not mine <3

♡ find all parts here ♡

content: fluff, romance, fake dating, angst, a happy ending | wc: 3.7k | warnings: mentions of food/eating, lots of crying | pairing: nonbinary!painter!hyunjin x gn!writer!reader | requests: open

synopsis: y/n is a writer with a long-awaited, well-deserved career opportunity. despite the excitement, there’s one major problem: the publisher expects a modern love story, equally romcom-like and authentic, but y/n lacks the inspiration to write something worth reading. through a chance meeting with mutual friends, y/n and hyunjin bond over upcoming deadlines and creative blocks. before the conversation ends, they discover that the ridiculous plot of fake dating might just work to solve their inspirational dry spell.

interlude: love untold

“y/n!”

a familiar voice calls your name. you look around the crowd, searching for anyone you recognize, not quite sure what you’re trying to find. when you see his face, you understand why the way he called your name sounded so much like home.

chan hurries over the second you wave to him, and you instinctively smile at his lopsided curls bouncing with each step he takes. you melt into his bear hug, warmed by the contact and the closeness of his bright smile. it’s only once you realize that he has run into you here that you feel a tiny wave of shock roll over you.

“wait, chan,” you tilt your head, “how are you…why are you here?”

he laughs, “i’m just as surprised to see you, y/n. i’m here interviewing for a new job.”

“oh wow! that’s great! how did it go?”

“i have the interview tomorrow, actually. i figured i’d get in a day early to feel out the area and make sure i like it.”

“and? what’s your review so far?”

chan’s excited grin is replaced by a soft smile, “seeing you makes it perfect.”

with a simple sentence, chan has you blushing the way you did as a teenager. it didn’t take much to fall into the old rhythm with him: easy conversation, light touches, inside jokes suddenly at the front of your mind despite not having been uttered in years. you two could have lost yourselves in each other’s presence anywhere, but chan suggests you migrate into a coffee shop to continue the conversation. as your agenda for the rest of the day is empty, you lead chan to a nearby coffee shop, relaxing into your seat with your favorite drink and the comfort of an old companion.

“so, tell me everything that’s been going on with you!”

you laugh, “chan. we haven’t seen each other in what, two, three years now? i hardly think telling you everything is possible.”

“i thought you said you had the rest of the night free?”

you roll your eyes, and chan giggles at his own joke. quietly, you prioritize what information to share, careful not to spiral and think about how much has changed since your last conversation with chan.

“i guess i can start with the fact that i got a book deal.”

chan just about drops his drink, “no way, y/n! that’s amazing! wow! i knew you’d do it one day. i know it has been your dream for ages. i’m so proud of you!”

“thank you, chan,” you pause to ensure he knows the depth of your gratitude, “it is a ghostwriting contract, so my name won’t be on it, but it feels surreal that someone’s paying me to write a book.”

“do you know when it’ll come out? i need to be first in line to buy it.”

“i honestly have no idea, but i’m turning in the manuscript tomorrow. the first draft of it, anyway.”

“wooooow,” chan leans back in his chair, “i’m so impressed. you’re like a big-time author now.”

“okay, don’t get ahead of yourself,” you scoff, still complimented by his pride in you, “but what about you? what brings you here for a new job?”

“eh, nothing as exciting as your news. i just want something new. i haven’t been feeling inspired with the work i do now, and i need a change of scenery. i moved back home after we…you know. it was great to go back to my roots. it’s time for me to move forward, turn a new page, start a life where no one knows me. at least that was the plan until i ran into you.”

you both laugh, and you reply, “if your interview tomorrow goes well, i can act like i don’t know you, so things can go according to plan.”

chan laughs boyishly, the way you always remembered it, “i appreciate your support, but i’d hate nothing more than for you to forget about me.”

you nod. you’d often caught yourself wondering whether chan still thought about you, whether he remembered any details of you and your life together. the space between you two was never supposed to grow this vast, but you figure that’s just how these things go sometimes. you feel a pang in your chest, sitting across from him, aware of how much he still means to you, despite it all.

“not to draw attention to the elephant in the room,” chan starts, feigning confidence over the redness in his ears, “are you seeing anyone?”

“please,” you laugh dryly, “you know i’m not.”

chan hums, observing you for a few extra seconds, “something’s going on in your love life.”

“chan!” you gape at him with disbelief, “based on what evidence?”

he leans closer to you, elbows on the table and eyes focused, “come on. i know you better than most people, especially when it comes to this stuff. who is it?”

you frown, hoping you can get him to believe that nothing is happening. predictably, even after years of separation, chan waits patiently. silent, stubborn, supportive.

“fine,” you sigh, spinning your cup a few times to delay your admission, “i was involved–well, not really involved, per se. there was…someone. we had something. at least, i thought we did, and i thought they thought so too. then, they ended things without warning. i can’t say they were in the wrong because being able to end things was a part of our…agreement…but it still hurt. i felt–feel–blindsided and delusional and stupid for getting my hopes up. i don’t think there’s anything to do now except move on, which sucks because it felt special. but hey,” you laugh sordidly, “i’ve been wrong about that before.”

chan smiles, some sadness peeking through, “we both have been wrong about that before.”

you nod, coming up empty on what to say next. chan watches you to ensure you’ve shared everything you wanted to before he speaks again.

“i’m sorry, y/n. i don’t know what they were thinking, and i won’t ask you to dredge up every detail, but i don’t need to know the whole situation to know that they made a mistake. you are so special. loving and being loved by you is the greatest gift i’ve ever known. you deserve someone who recognizes that, and i’m sorry that they weren’t smart enough to.”

you clear your throat, overwhelmed by chan’s words, “thanks, chan.”

“of course,” he smiles, “i’m what you could call an expert on this subject.”

you both laugh again, and chan continues, “all i wanted to do was give you the best. i still want to. i always thought if we saw each other again…” chan pauses to ensure he’s caught your gaze, “i would love to be the person that gives you what you deserve, if you’d let me.”

oh. 

“chan…”

“you don’t have to answer right now. besides, i wouldn’t ask for your time if we still lived as far apart as we do now. i just mean that, one way or another, i’d love to be back in your life. i still love you, and i always will, regardless of what that love looks like.”

a smile spreads across your face. chan, as you always remembered, never fails to surround you with warmth. you tell him so as you both say your goodbyes. you promise to call, much to chan’s excitement. he promises to tell you how the interview goes, and you can’t help but hope that he gets the job in the city, this city, your city. 

later, while you muscle through the final edits of your first manuscript, jisung stops by to confirm that you’re eating and drinking enough. against your best efforts, you mention chan right away.

“chan’s here?” jisung’s eyes are wide, though you can’t tell with which emotion.

you nod, “yeah, he’s interviewing for a job tomorrow.”

“oh wow, good for him!” jisung pauses his celebration for chan to ask the inevitable, “how did it feel to see him after…everything?”

you sigh, wondering how far down memory lane you were willing to travel, “it felt…good. we were comfortable right away, and, though it was clear time had passed, we were as connected as we had always been. he actually…i think, if he moves here, he wants to give us another shot.”

“whoa,” jisung looks arguably more shocked than you were when chan made his abrupt confession.

“yeah. i was surprised too. but i don’t know…i felt surprised in a good way, i think. obviously the whole hyunjin situation is fresh, and i’d be lying if i said i was over it. yet running into chan randomly for him to admit that he still wants to be with me, in some capacity at least, maybe that’s happening for a reason. i’ve felt so cynical about love for a long time. what if chan is the happy ending i’ve been craving all along?”

“i’m glad that seeing him went so well,” jisung chuckles, “i know when you two were with each other, you constantly talked about building a future together. you were happy with chan, there’s no denying that. but…”

“i know, i know,” you cut him off, so he doesn’t have to be the one to bring up the uncomfortable reminder, “he was my first love, and my first heartbreak. i can’t forget that he ended things because i distanced myself from him. i was scared, jisung. even though, or perhaps because, we were so young, our relationship was so idyllic. everything seemed to line up perfectly, and yet there was a pit in my stomach because i always worried that something was missing. could it have been that i found what was missing by growing up?”

“you sound like me,” he teases, a bit impressed, “it genuinely could be that you needed time apart to figure yourselves out before you could make it work. you and chan were great together; anyone could see that. if giving that relationship another, more mature try, is the right move, then you have my full support. but y/n…is chan the one you want to be with?”

“i…” you glance over at the poem hanging on your fridge, briefly feeling the way hyunjin’s words had moved you that night not so far in the past, “i’ve been feeling cynical about love and relationships for a long time. seeing chan made me feel hopeful again.”

“was it really chan that changed your mind?”

you roll your eyes and scoff, “whatever hyunjin made me feel doesn’t count. we weren’t even together anyway.”

jisung sighs, “just because you weren’t technically together doesn’t mean you didn’t build a relationship. the way you felt about hyunjin is what changed your mind on love, if you ask me. and, as we’ve already established, i have earned my wisdom when it comes to love.” 

you both laugh, relieving the tension. jisung definitely knew what he was talking about, and you know that he wouldn’t say anything regarding your love life if it weren’t important.

“what do you think i should do?”

a sweet and sympathetic smile appears on jisung’s face, “you know i can’t answer that. what i can say is i hope you chase after what’s right for you now. the younger version of you deserved real love, and who you are now deserves real love. that love might look different, whether it comes from the same person or not. it’s probably the romantic in me, but i think you’ll know if you’ve found that love. i hope you trust your gut, and i’ll support you no matter who or what you choose.”

with that, you thank him and remind him that you have a novel to finish, which means you don’t quite have the time for an existential crisis about love tonight. he laughs, wishes you luck, and heads home. you sit at the table for a while, quietly thinking to yourself about the events of the day. you never thought you’d be in a position like this, but you guess that signing up to live out one fanfic trope makes you more susceptible to living out other ones too. with that in mind, after finishing your edits, you decide to add one last line to the ending.

after all that had happened to us, and in spite of whatever would come, the center of everything was this: i have longed for you since the moment i met you; therefore, i will always love you. 

before you can second guess yourself, you send it to your publisher and close your laptop. unable to resist the tears, you sit at your kitchen table, full of relief and sadness, and cry. regardless of what tomorrow brings, one love story has ended. in chasing toward your tomorrow, you have to live with saying goodbye. 

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

“hyunjin!” jeongin looks up from his desk, face composed but eyes wide with surprise, “i wasn’t expecting to see you so soon.”

hyunjin approximates a smile to the best of their abilities, “i figured i should hand the final piece in directly.”

“as always, i appreciate the personal touch,” jeongin grins and points to the large canvas leaning against hyunjin’s body, “is that it?”

“yes,” they gaze down, peeking at the image, “i finally finished it.”

quiet, hyunjin places the painting on a work table in front of jeongin. jeongin examines it, thoroughly dedicated to appreciating every brushstroke. the compliments on his artistic choices are personal and detailed, but hyunjin barely registers them. they’re sure they will be able to hear the precise, sincere feedback a different night, maybe when the exhibition opens, so hyunjin only feels a twinge of regret at being spaced out yet again. jeongin must have been able to tell that hyunjin was only half there because he quickly transitions his praise into a goodbye. hyunjin gratefully accepts the exit plan.

“oh, and hyunjin?”

hyunjin pauses near the door, facing their friend with their full attention, “yeah?”

“take care of yourself, yeah?”

“of course.”

hyunjin makes it only a block before the tears start streaming. hearing those words from jeongin, the type of friend to refrain from casual sentimentality, breaks hyunjin’s thinly veiled detachment. the facade they barely maintained in the past few weeks lacked resilience. how could there be any solidity to him when hyunjin spent the recent past floating away?

they walk aimlessly for some amount of time, landing at a park bench. the afternoon sun would usually deter them from this spot, but the overcast sky makes the place feel less visible, less connected to the rest of the outside world. hyunjin hadn’t been outside for more than a few minutes at a time since the conversation at the restaurant, so they melt into the bench with hopes that vitamin d will cure them of their self-inflicted heartbreak. cure is perhaps too strong of a hope. hyunjin doesn’t believe anything could undo the hurt he caused, but he wants to believe that the suffering won’t last forever. 

in case the sunshine can’t clear all their problems away, hyunjin calls minho. they feel selfish and stupid and hate that they could be interrupting someone else’s good day, but he can’t think of anything useful on his own. all the time in the studio, all the distancing from friends, all the nights spent writing in their journals couldn’t remove the pit in their stomach, the rock in their chest. the guilt weighed so much more because your name was written all over it.

“hyunjin,” minho answers on the third ring, “how can i help you?”

they laugh through the tears, sniffling, “your customer service knows no bounds.”

“i expect a tip.”

hyunjin laughs again, grateful for a fleeting lightness in his chest before confronting everything that’s crashing down, “minho, i messed up.” 

minho sighs on the other side of the line, “do you want to talk about it?”

thankfully, minho doesn’t rush hyunjin to respond. hyunjin, overcome with just about every emotion they’ve felt in the past few weeks, feels another wave of tears emerge in the presence of his friend’s patience and understanding. they’re not sure what they’re looking for, but being able to admit their mistakes feels like the right place to start.

“i really cared about y/n. like…deeply. more than i’ve cared about someone in a long time, if ever. i miss them, and it’s my fault. it’s like a sick joke. this whole arrangement was built around us finding inspiration for our work, and now, because i got scared, i learned what yearning actually feels like. i feel it in my body, like the urge to reach out for something–someone–that isn’t there anymore. it’s so cliché, and i used to make fun of people for saying it when they went through a breakup, but i look for y/n in everything i see. they’re gone. the feeling of them beside me is like a phantom limb, but i am responsible for the amputation. i feel like i can’t even be sad about it because i’m the one who left. i can’t even say i don’t know what went wrong because i ruined it. i regret it. minho, i don’t know what to do.”

“hyunjin,” minho sighs, “you need to be kinder to yourself. yes, you made a mistake, but you don’t deserve to tear yourself apart for it.”

“don’t i though? what i have–had–with y/n was so special. they deserve so much more than what i gave them, what i was giving them and then immaturely ripped away. they were so kind to me, so honest. and i threw that all away without so much as an explanation.”

“okay,” minho lets out a breath with a hint of frustration, “i really think you’re taking this self-flagellation thing way too far, but i won’t waste time arguing with you if you don’t want to believe me–”

“where did you learn ‘self-flagellation’?”

“hyunjin, seriously?” minho deadpans.

hyunjin can perfectly picture the annoyed look on minho’s face, and he laughs, “sorry, you’re right. we were being serious and vulnerable. i shouldn’t have interrupted with a joke.”

“exactly, you shouldn’t have interrupted the vulnerability.”

“are you talking about you or y/n now?”

“a little bit of both, but mostly y/n. you got scared because you two were so open with each other. you felt seen in a way you hadn’t before. that’s rare. all of us would be or have been intimidated by something like that.”

“not everyone runs away though,” hyunjin frowns, kicking a rock by their foot, “i did the thing you’re not supposed to do when you find someone as…perfect as y/n.”

“do you want them back?”

hyunjin bites his lip, scared even now to be honest about their desire, “it’s not like they would give me a second chance. they’re smarter than that.”

“that’s not the question i asked,” minho replies, kind yet firm.

panicking, they reply, “you know, even though it was a fake relationship, we kissed once. it was my idea, sort of as a joke. we did it anyway, ‘for the plot,’” hyunjin chuckles, “there was this clarity, in the seconds after we kissed. i realized then and there that i was far more tied to y/n than i ever expected or could have hoped. i know it sounds dramatic, but it’s like, with them, my heart and soul were…now they’re…life isn’t…i just thought that things would have turned out a completely different way, and maybe i was romanticizing things–i probably was, i always do–but that doesn’t change the fact that…” 

hyunjin pauses their rambling to take a deep breath, knowing there are only a few words left to say, “i want to be with y/n.”

for a brief second, the weight of everything falls away into sweet certainty. hyunjin wants to be with you, plain and simple. their stomach twists at the fact that you weren’t together because they ran away, but his heart leaps in hope that maybe things could still change.

“do you feel better now that you’ve said it?”

hyunjin sighs, relief rather than regret, “yeah. i do.”

“good,” minho pauses, and hyunjin imagines he’s cracking his knuckles in preparation for the nitty gritty advice he’s about to drop, “i think it’s important to point out that, just because you were fake dating each other doesn’t mean that you two didn’t have a relationship at all. you shared a connection, and the bond you built together was real, even if you weren’t earnestly trying to be romantic partners.”

oh.

hyunjin stays silent, so minho continues, “like i said, running away from someone, something special, because you’re scared of how much they mean to you is a mistake we all have or will make. don’t keep beating yourself up for it. also, don’t keep being dumb by avoiding y/n. if you feel the way you say you feel, then you owe it to yourself and to them to be honest, even if it’s coming a little late. take a chance. you’re already hurt, and you’ve already hurt them. what else do you have to lose?”

“i can’t believe you called me dumb while giving me the most insightful advice i’ve ever heard.”

minho laughs, “life’s about balance, hyunjin.”

hyunjin rolls their eyes, “i guess you’re right. about both things.”

“mhm. i usually am.”

hyunjin scoffs, “okay, if you’re going to gloat about being wise, i’m going to hang up.”

“good!” minho sighs the way one does after a long day’s work, “it’ll give you time to figure out how you’re going to get your person back.”

“you’re so annoying,” hyunjin huffs, “thank you. i’ll tell you how it goes.”

minho hums in agreement, rushing out a don’t forget to stop being dumb! as hyunjin ends the call. hyunjin sets their phone down next to them on the bench and takes a deep breath. the late afternoon is already melting its way into the evening. as hyunjin stares at the setting sun in the distance, they think about the beloved painting above their desk. out there, somewhere in the same city, there’s a chance you are at your bedroom window, saying goodbye to another day with hyunjin on the outside, a part of the world not welcomed into your home. what they wouldn’t give to change that.

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

tag list: @velvetmoonlght @tirena1 (<333 tysm)

[folatefangirl]

On The Darkest Corner of the Heart

A comment on how Booktwt, Booklr, and Booktok media reactivity has lost the plot

Or, I think y'all need to log off and touch some grass and think about your actions for a hot minute. Note: This rant is a tad long, because I'm fucking pissed.

Disclaimer 1: I don't personally know the author of this book or anyone screenshotted in the drama. We aren't friends. I have no reason to either defend nor criticize these people, except for the fact that I've been a primary reader of self-pub and indie books for almost a decade now, and yes, including romances that some people don't consider worthy of civility. I'm also a queer healthcare worker.

Disclaimer 2: I don't want anyone mentioned/screenshotted here to be spammed with hate. Please do NOT contact them, including any authors mentioned. I included the primary actors for the current drama primarily so people don't claim I'm talking out of my ass.

Book blurb:

Forbidden. That's what they are to each other. Maddie Stevens has never felt good enough. Not good enough to keep her parents’ love. Not good enough to be independent and stop being her brother’s problem. Not good enough to build the future she wants. When she injures her ankle before a ballet audition that could change her career forever, she’s convinced her life is over at twenty-one. What’s the point of having dreams when they can go down the drain at any moment? And because the universe has a cruel sense of humor, her physical therapist turns out to be a tank-shaped grouch who doesn’t even seem to like her that much. It’s totally unfair that, for six weeks, she’s forced to look at that handsome beard and listen to that deep voice that makes her head all dizzy. Top that with the fact that he’s ten years her senior, and falling for James Simmons is a recipe for disaster. But when their forced proximity makes the lines start blurring, the forbidden temptation becomes impossible to resist.

The Timeline:

Events preceding 2023: Lisina Coney, author of The Darkest Corner of the Heart, was born in 1999 in northern Spain. She worked as a translator prior to publishing books.

Initially I thought these books were only self-published, but in fact are published under the formerly indie publisher Page & Vine, founded by romance novelist Meredith Wild.

January 27th, 2023: The Brightest Light of Sunshine is published by nearly 24-year-old Lisina Coney. On Goodreads, it currently sits at 3.87 stars as of today, February 10th, 2024, with 27,727 ratings and 3,592 reviews. Note: For a small-time author, especially for a debut novel, these numbers are huge.

May 2023, Page & Vine announced that Big 5 publisher Simon & Schuster would distribute their books as an imprint beginning in summer 2023.

In mid-to-late 2023, Lisina's website and socials announced The Darkest Corner of the Heart, her second novel to be published with Page & Vine on February 20th, 2024. Note: This means the events below occurred BEFORE the book's publication.

February 5th, 2024: anaborbareads on Twitter/X posts the cover and other art of Darkest Corner with the text, "a forbidden romance between ballerina and physical therapist???? pls i need this book now 🥺✨💗🫶🏻"

February 6th, 2024: h0mmelette on Twitter/X responds to anaborareads with "the booktok genre of forbidden romance is hilarious. theyre straight… whats forbidden"

February 6th, 2024: a tumblr user reposts the twitter thread from above to tumblr. Other tumblr users reblog and add on, and it quickly goes viral.

February 7th, 2024: From what I can tell via reverse image searching, the first iteration of the fake ARC page that's going around appears to be from Twitter/X user queef1ng. About 4 hours later, the same fake ARC page was reposted on the tumblr post mentioned above. And from here, this story takes a turn from people wanting to feel like they're above a romance novel writer to potential legal territory.

Of the 122 ratings on Goodreads for Darkest Corner to date, 9 appear to be 1-star reviews and from what I can tell, most/all of them were only published since the events began on 06Feb2024. 71 are 5-stars and while some of those are ARC readers, many newer ones appear to be trying to counteract the review bombing from the fake ARC page.

As of today, February 10th, 2024, it looks like the book will still be published on February 20th as planned, but we'll see.

Wait, so how do you know the page is fake?

I can't believe people have been so gullible but fine, here's my analysis:

Lisina's real ARC readers have stated that it isn't from the book (not gonna document all of them in the screenshots but you can easily go to the book's GR page and see the ARC reviews there).

As other folks pointed out on the tumblr repost, no real ARC page does a weird review watermark like that. Speaking from my own experience in reviewing ARCs or beta-reading, I agree.

The font tipped me off because it looked like it had literally been written on a Fanfiction.Net page. Not that Verdana, font size 10, is unique to FFN, but it looks like fanfiction typed font. Which brings me to:

Literally how could you believe this author writes like this? You can read her website or preview her first book or just have the bare minimum common sense to understand what satire looks like. If you don't believe me (because I know framing a post like this will put a lot of people on the defensive), I've also included screenshots below. The prose and dialogue are COMPLETELY different from the alleged screenshot. The only thing that is similar is that both characters are ballerinas.

But wait, all of this doesn't explain why YOU, Cinnia, are so pissed about this?

You're completely right! It really doesn't. All of the above is mostly documentation so the naysayers can't say I'm just some silly fangirl of the author.

The initial premise of the drama is that you can't have "forbidden love" in an m/f relationship. First of all, William Shakespeare would like to have a word with you regarding Romeo and Juliet. Second of all, yes you fucking can. See also: Religious and cultural differences and human history for a starting point. I know it may be hard to touch grass and look at media that is not tumblr queer media-centric and understand that people who are NOT you might enjoy it very much. Note that I'm a queer person saying this and I do read or watch m/f media at times because I don't like limiting myself. Go watch Bajirao Mastani and enjoy one of the most beautiful movies about forbidden love ever produced.

The book itself falls into the medical romance subgenre. For those not familiar, these are romances (usually m/f) that often involve a healthcare worker and their patient. In the real world, where people touch grass, a healthcare worker like me having a relationship with their patient is such a huge ethical violation that it will get you fired. In Darkest Corner, James is Maddie's physical therapist because she's a ballerina with a sports injury and he is treating her. Ergo, it is forbidden for them to get together and the initial premise for mocking this book is on very shaky ground.

In fact, I'd go as far as to say that the folks mocking it seem to very likely not be familiar with romance novels and their subgenres at all, or else they'd be well aware of the concept of straight romances marketed as a "forbidden romance" because they're fucking everywhere on any place that sells romance books. I have a personal collection of over 14,500 kindle ebooks. While not all of those are romances, a good chunk of them are, so I think I can count myself as a bit of a source here, you know?

The fake screenshot and social media drama has spread to at least Twitter, Tumblr, and BookTok, which all have huge reader hobbyists. For a small-time author barely past her debut novel's publication, allegations of this sort tied to your author name and book titles can last on the internet and in web searches for a long, long time, hurting an author's career. Maybe you're like "boohoo, who cares about their careers, I pirate all my fiction books anyway" and well, a post like this was probably never going to convince you of anything. I'm talking to the folks who might still have a sense of shame and self-reflection. Authors, even authors tied to a Big 5's imprint, earn peanuts. This sort of manufactured "scandal" is not ideal when the book is weeks away from being published. In fact, if the book has fewer sales than the first book in the series, Simon & Schuster may have legal grounds to go after the person who made the fake screenshot. A smarter person would have kept that to the groupchat or posted it as a clearly marked fanfic on AO3.

As a reader, this also sucks because when shit like this happens, the reviews of a book are permanently biased by both the bombers and the fans of the author, no matter how good or bad the book ends up being. Do I know if this book will be a 1-star or 5-star now, based on the reviews? Nope. Will I read it? No, because I don't read medical romances as it's a squick for me. But I may read her first book, which has mercifully escaped most of the social media nonsense.

This isn't the first time booktwt/booktok/booklr has engaged in a similar mob mentality towards books they don't like and I doubt it'll be the last. See Blood Heir by Amélie Wen Zhao and the allegations that turned out to be false then, too. However, I would like to ask y'all to please check your sources and not blindly accept what someone says on social media as truth. Get used to doing the research because manufactured misinformation is everywhere, and it's not gonna get better. (And for fuck's sake, not everyone is gonna like the same books and fandoms you like! It's not illegal to enjoy reading different things!)

Screenshots/Evidence (click for better resolution):

[religion-is-a-mental-illness]

By: Anonymous

Published: Oct 16, 2023

When my first son claimed he was trans, I eagerly ‘affirmed’ him. When his three-year-old brother decided he wanted to be trans, too, I realized I’d made a terrible mistake.

I was a social-justice organizer and facilitator before social justice took over the progressive world. I was at the nascent movement’s forefront, introducing the concept of intersectionality to organizations and asking people to share their pronouns.

My friends and I felt like we were the cool kids, on the vanguard of the revolutionary wave that would change the world. We were going to achieve what people in that milieu call “collective liberation.”

Within this context, I came out as a lesbian and identified as queer. I also fell in love, entered a committed relationship, and gave birth to a son. Two years later, my spouse gave birth to our second son.

Having children and experiencing the love and devotion I felt toward them, was a game changer for me. I began to experience internal tensions. My thinking was split between what I felt instinctively as a mother; and what I “should” be feeling and doing as a white anti-racist social-justice parent.

Because I’d felt victimized by my parents’ rejection of my sexuality, I wanted to make sure to honor my own children’s “authentic” selves. In particular, I was primed to look for any clues that might suggest they could be transgender.

My spouse and I raised our sons with gender-neutral clothes, toys, and language. While we used he/him pronouns, and others called them boys, we did not call them boys, or even tell them that they were boys.

In our everyday reading of books or descriptions of people in our lives, we did not say “man” or “woman”; we said “people.” We thought we were doing the right thing, both for them and for the world.

Even when our first son was still young, he already struck us as different from other boys—being both extremely gifted and unusually sensitive. By age three or so, he started to orient more toward the females in his life than the males. “I like the mamas,” he would say.

We started to attribute some of this difference to the possibility that he was transgender. Instead of orienting him toward the reality of his biological sex by telling him he was a boy, we wanted him to tell us if he felt he was a boy or a girl. As true believers, we thought that we should “follow his lead” to determine his true identity.

At the same time, I was taking a deep dive into the field of attachment and child development. This made me understand that attachment is hierarchical; and that parents, not children, are meant to be in the lead. This obviously conflicted with my insistence on letting my child decide his gender. Sadly, it was the latter impulse that won the day.

At around age four, my son began to ask me if he was a boy or a girl. I told him he could choose. I didn’t use those words—I imagined that I was taking a more sophisticated approach. I told him, “When babies are born with a penis, they are called boys, and when babies are born with a vagina, they are called girls. But some babies who are born with a penis can be girls, and some babies born with a vagina can be boys. It all depends on what you feel deep inside.”

He continued to ask me what he was, and I continued to repeat these lines. I’d resolved my inner conflict by “leading” my son with this framework. Or so I told myself.

His question, and my response to it, would come back to haunt me. In fact, I remain haunted to this day. To the extent I was “leading” my son anywhere, it was down a path of lies—an on-ramp to psychological damage and irreversible medical interventions. All in the name of love, acceptance, and liberation.

About six months later, he told my spouse that he was a girl and wanted to be called “sister” and “she/her.” I received a text message about this at work. On the way home that night, I resolved to put all my own feelings away and support my transgender child. And that is what I did.

We told him he could be a girl. He jumped up and down on the bed, happily saying, “I’m a girl, I’m a girl!” We—not our son—initiated changing his name. We socially transitioned him and enforced this transition with his younger brother, who was then only two years old and could barely pronounce his older brother’s real name.

When I look back at this, it is almost too much to write about. How could a mother do this to her child? To her children?

Once we made this decision, we received resounding praise and affirmation from most of our peers. One of my friends, who’d also socially transitioned her young child, assured me that this was a healthy, neutral way to allow children to “explore” their gender identity before puberty, when decisions would have to be made about puberty blockers and hormones.

We sought out support groups for parents of transgender children, so that we could find out if we’d done the “right thing.” It hadn’t escaped my notice that our son hadn’t exhibited any signs of actual gender dysphoria. Was he actually transgender?

At these support groups, we were told, again, what good parents we were. We were also told that kids on the autism spectrum (which our son likely is) are gender savants who simply know they are transgender earlier than other kids.

At one of the support groups we attended, we were also told that transgender identity takes a few years to develop in children. The gender therapist running things told us that during this period, it’s important to protect the child’s transgender self-conception—which meant eliminating all contact with family or friends who didn’t support the idea that our son was a girl. I believed her.

Looking back, I now see her comments in a shockingly different light: this was part of an intentional process of concretizing transgender identity in children who are much too young to know themselves in any definitive way. (One set of parents attending the group had a child who was just three years old.) When identity is “affirmed” in this manner, children will grow up believing they are actually the opposite sex.

The therapist endorsed the same approach that many adolescents use on their parents, who are urged to write letters to grandparents, aunts, and uncles to announce the child’s transgender identity. In these letters, the conditions of continued social engagement are made clear: Recipients must use the new name and new pronouns, and embrace the new identity, or they will be denied contact with the child.

After about a year of social transition for our older son, our younger son, who was by now only three years old, began to say he was a girl, too. This came as a complete shock to us. None of the things that made our older son “different” applied to our younger son. He was more of a stereotypical boy and didn’t show the same affinity for the feminine side of things that his older brother did.

The urge for “sameness” is a primal attachment drive in many family members. We felt that our younger son’s assertion of being a girl likely reflected his desire to be like his older sibling, in order to feel connected to him.

His claim to be a girl became more insistent when both brothers went to school part-time, because their program included pronoun sharing. Why could the older sibling be a “she” when the younger sibling couldn’t? Our younger son became more insistent, and we became more distressed.

We made an appointment to see the gender therapist whom we’d met at the support group. We truly believed that she would be able to help us sort out who, if anyone, was actually transgender.

To our shock, the therapist immediately began referring to our younger son as “she,” stating that whatever pronouns a young child wants to use are the pronouns that must be used.

She patronizingly assured us that it might take us more time to adjust, since parents have a hard time with this sort of thing. She added that it was transphobic to believe there was anything wrong with our younger son wanting to be like his older transgender sibling.

When I pushed back and asserted that I wasn’t yet convinced our younger son was in fact transgender, she told me that if I failed to change his pronouns and honor his newly announced identity, he could develop an attachment disorder.

We were unconvinced. But, again, we wanted to do what was right for our son and for the world. We decided to tell him he could be a girl. And that night at dinner, we told him that we would call him “she/her.”

Right after dinner, I went to play an imaginary game with him, and I wanted to be affirming. So I put a big, warm smile on my face and said, “Hi, my girl!”

At this, my younger son stopped, looked at me, and said, “No, mama. Don’t call me that.” His reaction pierced me to my core. I didn’t turn back after that.

For the next two years, my partner and I dug deeper, agonized, and then continued digging again. Everything we thought we knew or believed that had led us to socially transition our older son began to unravel.

I continued to study the attachment-based developmental approach to parenting and learned more about autism and hypersensitivity. We decided not to socially transition our younger son. Not only was he not transgender, we now realized, but our older son probably wasn’t either.

He was just a highly sensitive, likely autistic boy who saw a girl identity as a form of psychic protection. It also provided him a way of attaching to me through sameness.

My spouse and I decided that since we’d been the ones who’d led him down this path, we were the ones who needed to lead him off of it.

A year ago, just before our older son’s eighth birthday, we did just that. And while the initial change was hard—incredibly hard—the strongest emotion exhibited by our son turned out to be relief.

In the days following my first conversation with him about going back to his birth name and pronouns, during which I told him that males cannot be females and that we were wrong to tell him he could choose to be a girl, he got very mad at me, then sad. Then, the next day, I felt my son rest. I felt him release a burden, an adult burden that he, as a child, was never meant to carry.

Since that time, we’ve all been healing. My son is now happy and thriving. We’ve watched him come to a deeper peace with himself as a boy.  

Our younger son is also thriving. Once his older brother became his older brother again, he happily, and almost immediately, settled into his identity as a boy.

I feel like someone who’s escaped a cult—a cult whose belief system is supported by our mainstream culture, the Internet, and even the state.

I fear for the future—the future of sensitive, feminine, socially awkward boys. I fear what the world will tell them about who they are.

But no matter what the future holds, I will never ever stop fighting to protect my sons. I am no longer a true believer.

[iridescentpull]

Gatos e Rosas will be on hold for a week or so since I have a VERY busy week ahead of me and won't have time to write the new chapters.

As an apology, I did a thing on twitter that for every like the tweet received, I would post one fact about a character of the GeR universe (mainly fitpac ofc).

So here's part one of those facts, hope you enjoy :) lmk if you want more!

Ramón was adopted by Fit and Spreen when he was barely 3 years old

Pac lost his leg in an accident (will be explained in the story) when he was 19

Fit went to the army straight when he was fresh outta highschool, thinking he knew everything (he didn't)

Pac's amputation is an above knee one, also known as a transfemoral one

Phil and Missa are in a queerplatonic marriage

Tina works in the fashion industry and has dreams of owning her own boutique and line in the future

Quesadilla City is a small city in a fictional island located in the Northern Hemisphere

Ramón is autistic, and he goes nonverbal whenever he's extremely stressed or overstimulated. He and Fit communicate through sign language when that happens

Pac has diagnosed depression and anxiety and takes meds for it

Cellbit and Roier met when they were called to the school because Richas and Bobby had a fight

Fit figured out he was gay when he was in his teens, but didn't accept it until he was in his late twenties/early thirties

Roier does drag, aka Melissa

Quackity HATES Chayanne, and the feeling is mutual with Chayanne. Their hate-relationship started since Chayanne was a toddler

Missa works in a really famous orchestra, which means he often has to travel around for concerts, leaving his family behind for long periods of time

The first few weeks after Pac was alone in his new apartment for the first time, he fell into a rough depressive episode. He slowly got better after adopting Xereta

Ramón's special interest is the Krebs Cycle. Fit has no idea when, what, or how his son even learned what the krebs cycle is, but he's happy to listen Ramóns infodumps

After Pac and Mike immigrated from Brazil, Mike searched high and low for somewhere they could stay that would be cheap until they could get back on their feet. He met Bagi, who was searching for more roommates at the time. They moved in, and the Favela Five apartment was born

Death Family live in the more country side of the city, around the same area as Mike and Mine

Fit lost his arm up until the shoulder, also known as shoulder disarticulation

Pac and Mike met in the orphanage at Brazil when they were both seven and five, respectively

Fit and Phil met just when Fit was discharged and lived together as roommates until Phil met Missa

Quesadilla City is a VERY diverse city, with immigrants from all over the world having their little communities spread around. The Favela is one of the most popular communities, though!

Cellbit works at Ordo Theorita’s Publishing House, and he dreams of publishing his own thriller book in the future

Pac is transmasc, and had his top surgery in his midtwenties after the Favela Five managed to scrap enough money to pay for it

Ramón's biggest fear is his dad being lonely. His second biggest fear are heights

[my-deer-friend]

I've come to ask about the best website to read John or Henry Laurens letters! I've started John's biography and I wanted to extend it a little bit with the letters. (I'm in the Generva period of his life and I know most of the letters John had written by himself are missing, but it would be good to read his father's letters to him from that period!) And for me one of the most interesting parts of his life is John's visit to Paris and also his childhood. If you know, can you tell me where to look for more information on those topics? I would be very grateful! I love your research posts! And I absolutely adore the fact you are from Europe (If I'm not wrong) interested in Laurens and amrev! I'm from Poland and I absolutely adore those American history figures too ! Have a nice day!  Thanks if you find time to answer! <3

Witam, przyjacielu!

As you say, many of the letters from the period you're interested in are lost, and there is little information about John's childhood beyond what is scattered in mentions throughout Henry's letters. But the volume picks up once the Laurenses travel to England in 1771!

There are two main sources that I use for letters by both John and Henry from your selected time period (which is also my favourite time to read about!)

The first is the digital repositories of the University of South Carolina Libraries, which holds (as far as I'm aware) the biggest collection of John's letters. This is where you will find much of his earliest writing, including lots of interesting letters to his uncle James. The search tool takes some getting used to, and the downside is that many of the letters have not been transcribed – so you need to be comfortable reading 18th century cursive.

The second source – the published volumes of The Papers of Henry Laurens – is a bit harder to track down. I've managed to buy physical copies of the volumes I'm most interested in, and a few of them are available on Google Books (with a limited preview). These are the ones most relevant to you:

Volume 7 (1 Aug 1769 - 9 Oct 1771)

Volume 8 (10 Oct 1771 - 19 Apr 1773)

Volume 9 (19 Apr 1773 - 12 Dec 1774)

Volume 11 (5 Jan 1776 - 1 Nov 1777)

(I haven't managed to find a digital version of Vol 10, alas.)

If you have access to a good academic library, it's possible that they will have copies, or will be able to get them for you through interlibrary loan.

Beyond these, there are single letters scattered around here and there, and once you get into John's military and diplomatic service, much of his writing is included in the Library of Congress archives. (Good luck.) JSTOR has published versions of some of their letter exchanges too, just search for their names.

Of course, the other person to consult is our esteemed @john-laurens, who has compiled tons of handy resources like a list of where to find all the Laurens-Kinloch letters. These aren't always easy to find thanks to Tumblr search, but I'm sure they'd be happy to point you to the relevant posts!

I'd be delighted to share any specific resources or thoughts if you have questions that come up during your reading, so feel free to ask!

[y-rhywbeth2]

Yanno, you're the person I thought to turn to first when confronted with this. We've never spoken, but hello, I love your lore dives to death.

So. Just. I'm trying to do some crazy shit with my fic. I've been deep diving. And well... The Second Sundering. Are we just... did that happen in BG3? XD It seems like a big deal that happens a few years before current day, which is during things like Blood in Baldur's Gate, and all the stuff with Durge and Gortash. And just... eh?

I'll leave it there for now and ignore all the smaller side questions I'd love your opinion on sometime.

Hi! So BG3 is very shrodingers canon, and FR video games - while official licensed products - have a very vague and loose relationship to main canon (are the events of, say, Hordes of the Underdark or Icewind Dale II canon, or no? Hard to tell though it mostly seems to be no. The outline of the original Baldur's Gate games is, for better or worse canon (most original players traditionally vote 'worse'), but the actual game 'Baldur's Gate' and the published canon 'Baldur's Gate' are different beasts.

So official canon says that we had the Second Sundering, the dead three are back, Torlin Silvershield became Chosen of Bhaal for a brief period of time before his murder, and the Dead Three are back together and walk the world Time of Troubles style in order to get around Ao's new restrictions on divine interference for [mysterious reasons]. Ed Greenwood suggests that despite being the self-styled leader, Bane is unlikely to have come up with the idea himself, which makes me wonder which one did.

BG3 seems to have had the Second Sundering: I'm pretty sure there's a book that mentions it in-game, and Bhaal and Myrkul are showing too much power for vestiges. We also have a line from Withers, if it's still there, that the three are walking Faerûn in 'mortal' form (which, based on the last time they did that is not to be confused with no longer being gods or being at all easy to kill, just means they're hanging around in physical form and their power and divine senses are limited).

But it says that and then doesn't actually seem to think about it. It's like the Sundering happened, but not necessarily exactly the way it happened in canon? Mmm I don't know.

The manifesting and power we see is a little to high imo.

Like Myrkul taking full avatar form through Ketheric requires a ritual and for him to sacrifice and burn through the souls of many of his faithful to start and sustain it, Ketheric alone shouldn't be sufficient I don't think? - and I'm not sure Myrkul can even pull it off anymore, because he may no longer have the requisite claim over the souls of the dead due to Kelemvor being in office.

(... random off-topic but honestly I'm now thinking that the Rite of Ascension would've worked better for me if it was trading 7007 souls to the Dead Three for fuel...)

I can kind of excuse Durge's (rather unnecessary in light of the Second Sundering) existence as Bhaal prefering to work from the shadows, so using his child as a figurehead works... But then Sarevok says something about how Bhaal lives again through Durge and they will enable him to walk the planes once again and... First, Bhaal is already resurrected, and secondly, he deliberately chose to leave the planes. None of that made sense! We can almost wave the first bit as metaphor (unless Bhaal is inhabiting Durge as a host-avatar 'he lives through you' makes no sense because he lives again as himself right over there in the corner) but the second bit nah.

Bane enjoys personally leading his own armies and such, which makes Gortash playing figurehead a little less likely than Durge doing so, but he has been noted to have learnt caution after the first fiasco... And/or the other two have put him on a leash or something.

There's also the possibility that the original Chosen are serving as hosts for the deities, which is a headcanon I'd enjoy being true, but the fact that their consciousnesses aren't being repressed while their gods assume direct control makes me think it's unlikely... Although the feral ending does kind of support the idea for Durge, at least. Technically hosting the Lord of Murder should kill you, but being not entirely mortal does give you an exuse.

As ever; basically, just make your own canon. 'Your realms' as it's termed. God knows I'm working from 'my realms' for the BG3 in my head and I'm still considering just porting the events of BG3 back to the 1300s where neither the Spellplague nor the Sundering happened so I don't have to deal with this headache.

[chrlxx]

I’m finally back from shadowban, but did not return empty-handed and brought you some kind of "review" of a historical novel I’ve just read because it was such fun that I can’t help but share it with some educated people and because I love nagging about historical inaccuracies.

🚨SPOILER ALERT🚨

The rest you will find under the cut

The book I’m talking about is Cinq-Mars by de Vigny. This novel was published in 1826 and is centred around the conspiracy of Louis XIII’s last favourite, Marquis de Cinq-Mars, against Cardinal de Richelieu. Cinq-Mars was the first important historical fiction in French and derived much of its popularity at the time from the enormous vogue of the novels of Walter Scott. After 1831, when Victor Hugo's Notre Dame de Paris was published, Vigny was pushed back from the first positions, and his Cinq-Mars was forgotten. At the same time, critics of subsequent eras state that from a purely literary point of view, Cinq-Mars is a much better work than Hugo's novel.

Since Henri d’Effiat is a main character, Vigny portrays him as a hero, a noble man surrounded by scoundrels and therefore doomed. Louis and Richelieu, on the contrary, are negative characters. If you want to get a better understanding of Vigny’s attitude towards them, take Dumas’ interpretation and multiply it, let’s say, by three — after that you will have a proper comprehension of their portrayal. I can’t resist providing one quotation, though: "the tyrant Richelieu, who does not cease to humiliate good old nobility and the parliaments, and to sap the foundations of the edifice upon which the State reposes".

But the biggest meme of this book is Father Joseph. Surprised? Me too. First, his character is so far from reality that it made me want to cry. I happened to read Huxley’s Grey Eminence right before this novel, so the contrast was…prominent. I was ready for many things, but not for Joseph eager to betray and poison Richelieu for a red biretta. Besides, the author does not describe him in a very pleasant way: "The monk looked upon the ground with the stupid eye of some base animal". Second, historical François Leclerc du Tremblay died in December 1638, before the events described in the book began. Lower the curtain.

Since I have already started talking about historical inaccuracies, I will continue with this topic. For some reason, Vigny likes to introduce characters who should be languishing in the Bastille or other prison at that time. The story begins in the summer of 1639 in the chateau of Cinq-Mars’ family. At the farewell dinner on the occasion of Cinq-Mars’ send-off — he is heading to Perpignan (which is under siege) to be introduced to the King — Marshal de Bassompierre is present. Real Bassompierre, however, was arrested back in February 1631, shortly after the "Day of the Dupes", and definitely wouldn’t have been able to participate in the occasion. But his arrest still takes place at the end of the first chapter. Besides, Marshal de Vitry and Duc de Puylaurens, who also appear in the novel, should have been incarcerated by then as well: Vitry was imprisoned in 1637, and Puylaurens — in 1635. The latter, by the way, died in Vincennes the same year, so his presence in the story becomes even more strange…

According to Cinq-Mars, many interesting things happened in 1639; so many that in reality it took circa 10 years. I have already mentioned Bassompierre’s arrest (1631) and the siege of Perpignan, which actually took place in 1641-1642, but this is only a small part. On his way to the King’s camp, Cinq-Mars passes through Loudun, where, surprisingly (or, perhaps, unsurprisingly?), the case of Urbain Grandier is in full swing. I’m not an expert in this particular field and cannot fully judge the accuracy of the events described (yet), but some details are historically correct, and some are definitely not. The most eye-catching is the fact that all this tremendous commotion actually began in 1632 and ended in 1634, not 1639. In a while, after Henri’s arrival to Perpignan, it turns out that Marie de Medici has already died. She was too hasty with this, I must say — it should have happened three years later, in July 1642. There are many many more minor inaccuracies, such as someone saying that the Long Parliament in England is still sitting when its session hasn’t even begun or Louis asking Richelieu why he hates Marie de Medici so much, as if it wasn’t Louis himself who sent her into exile for her constant intrigues. Or the premiere of Mirame, which takes place after the execution of Cinq-Mars, in September 1642, although in fact it was January 1641. Such an abundance of events in such a short time makes me think about how boring my life is.

Speaking of time, its passage in the book is very unique. The first chapter begins in 1639, and the fourteenth chapter with line "we will at once pass over the space of two hundred leagues and the period of two years" suddenly brings us to December 4, 1642. Math? No, never heard about it. What’s more, it is actually the date of Richelieu’s death, but the conspiracy against him hasn’t started yet. Then, the twenty-fifth chapter featuring execution of Cinq-Mars and de Thou begins with words "In the middle of a night of the month of September", but in the original french version the same line sounds like "Au milieu d’une nuit du mois de septembre 1642". One could chalk such strangeness up to misprint and claim that the 4th of December 1642 must be 4th of December 1641 — in that case everything makes sense. However, de Vigny points to December 1642 several times.

What I like most about this book is a list of King’s duties dictated by Richelieu, which, according to the author, has come down to us:

Lovely, isn’t it? The eighth one is definitely my favourite. Frankly speaking, I’d like to be in prime minister’s shoes myself…

Lastly, I would like to mark an amusing detail. In twenty-fourth chapter de Vigny makes an allusion to a famous phrase about six lines ("If you give me six lines written by the hand of the most honest of men, I will find something in them which will hang him"), which is frequently attributed to Richelieu. In Cinq-Mars, though, he says, "For four lines in a man’s handwriting he might be criminally tried".

In any case, this piece of literature is good in its genre and worth reading. If you’re not so familiar with the historical part, you won’t grumble about every single incorrect detail in the conspiracy and will even be able to enjoy the story… But still remember: Cinq-Mars was a bi—

[sunburstxstarlightblog]

Because you ask for it, here are my StarBurst Headcanons!

Long post warning ahead. In no particular order:

Sunburst!

Sunburst’s hair is actually curly but he doesn’t know how to take care of it and doesn’t understand why it’s such a mess even though he brushes it every morning. (Btw, you’re not supposed to brush curly/kinky hair, especially when it’s dry, and of course that’s exactly what he does.)

He’s very proud of his goatee, his mother hates it and asks him to shave it every time he visits, which makes him like it even more, and is considering growing a full beard, just to piss her off.

He loves books for sure, but if you search through his private library, you won’t find a single novel, storybook, or anything resembling a fiction section. He doesn’t care for it. Since he knows so much about magic and history, when he reads a novel that embellishes some historical fact or magical effect, it takes him out of the story and immediately makes him lose interest.

Some of his most precious books were found while dumpster diving. That’s right, he dumpster dives once in a while, especially around libraries, second-hand stores, old houses, and construction sites. Libraries and second-hand stores usually throw away or give away books, since they get so many and they can’t sell them fast enough. Construction sites usually dig so deep that they bring up some interesting artifacts, and when the owners of old houses die, the family usually throws away the previous owners’ things, which includes books and other oddities.

Most of his furniture comes from antique stores, second-hand stores, and whatever Equestria’s version of the Good Will is.

Sunburst always leaves the house with an empty saddle bag and somehow manages to come back with it filled to the brim with books he picked up along the way.

After he dropped out of magic school, Sunburst’s income was very limited. He had to live with whatever his mother could send him and with the money he got from part-time jobs. This turned him into quite the penny pincher, he learned the hard way how to budget every bit he got.

His luck finally turned when he started working as a freelance editor since he could read through hundreds of pages in a matter of hours, red pen in hoof, and be done with hefty manuscripts in a day. Many writers appreciated his speed and accuracy when handling their manuscripts, and were quite saddened when he quit freelancing to work full-time for the Royal Family.

When the Crystal Empire returned, they were desperate to bring in more ponies to live full-time in the Empire, one of the ways to achieve this was to sell houses and land on the cheap, that’s how Sunburst got his house with his meager income. The alternative would’ve been to live with his mother, and Sunburst would’ve rather lived under a bridge than move back home.

Sunburst watches Flurry Heart from time to time. He’s very patient and gentle with her, and Flurry Heart adores him for it. He’s the only that can get her to eat her peas without making (too much) of a mess. He’s writing a book about his experiences in watching her, like a guidebook on how to raise infant alicorns, he hopes to publish it once she’s grown and already has her parents’ permission to do so. Cadance explicitly requested to send a signed copy to Twilight once he’s done, for all they know, she might be having alicorns of her own one day.

Starlight Glimmer!

Her family is actually one of the founding families of Sire’s Hollow, but unlike her father who’s very proud of this fact, she really couldn't care less.

Starlight left home as soon as she was legally an adult. She worked various mundane but safe jobs, studying magic in her free time and slowly building her philosophy, meeting ponies that were down on their luck and vulnerable to her suggestions (working in retail she met quite a few ponies like that). It was a slow process but before she knew it, she had a sizeable community.

I know everyone kills off Starlight's mother, but I like to think that she's alive and well somewhere. Her mother is an important wizard, who unfortunately loves her work more than she loves her family, and often travels to distant places to study magic. Her mother would send her letters and postcards from the places she was at until Starlight moved out and lost all communication with her. While Starlight admires her mother very much, she's resentful of her for being absent during her childhood.

Starlight is very artistic and can actually draw really well. Hanging out with Rarity made her practice her artistic skills, and now she can do a decent sketch of ponies and things if she puts her mind to it.

Ever since she became Twilight’s pupil, she learned how to be more organized. Before she used to be very forgetful since she never wrote down what she had to do or kept track of important things. If she’d been this organized back when she was commanding her village, she would have been an even more formidable opponent.

Starlight never dated. Growing up she was very distrustful of other ponies, but she was more guarded around stallions. Nothing sets her off like a stallion making an unwanted pass on her.

Starlight doesn’t care about fashion; her sense of style could be summed up in the phrase ‘function over fashion’. Her closet is very bare, even compared to Twilight’s who shares some of Starlight’s tastes when it comes to clothes. She dabbles in makeup though, but her knowledge is very limited in that area too.

Hanging out with Pinkie Pie has aggravated her already very sweet tooth problem. And since her job is very sedentary, her weight gain is starting to show, much to her horror. This prompted her to start exercising more. Now she wakes up early every day to run around Ponyville before she has to go to work.

Unlike Sunburst, all of Starlight’s books are fiction. She likes novels, especially dark fantasy, filled with action and violence. The gorier the better.

When she’s sad or upset, she twirls and levitates stuff around her. It was the first spell she could cast successfully, and it was the first one that Sunburst taught her.

Now for the good stuff, some StarBurst headcannons.

When Starlight can’t sleep, she asks Sunburst to read to her. His voice is very soothing and monotone when he reads out loud, and since the subjective he reads is very boring to her, she falls asleep quite easily this way.

When they were little Stellar Flare used to joke that their kids would get married someday, Firelight didn’t think that it would ever happen. Since then they have had this ongoing bet that whoever was right would get fifty bits from the loser and full bragging rights at the reception. Firelight just lost those fifty bits recently and was a little grumpy at his daughter’s wedding.

Starlight is more athletic than Sunburst, he can run a little faster than her because he's taller than her, but when it comes to endurance, she has him beat. This comes in handy when she’s annoyed with him; she runs around while he chases after her until he collapses from exhaustion, but he still gets up and begins to chase her again.

Things were awkward for them at the beginning, but after the events of the Parent Map episode, they learned to relax around each other again. They started to write letters with more frequency, talking about more mundane and personal things, it surprised the both of them how much they enjoyed their correspondence and their bond grew from there.

When they hang out, they’re like a pair of excited middle schoolers on a sugar high. They’re loud, a little disruptive, and just so gosh damn happy to be around the other. Sunburst just talks her ear off about magic, and Starlight is more than happy to demonstrate what she’s capable of. The look on his face when she does magic is worth it.

They rarely fight, but when they do, brace yourself! They’re both in a very rotten mood until the issue is resolved. Starlight is a raging bull and will explode at the slightest provocation, you’ll be blasted to smithereens if you catch her like this. Sunburst goes very quiet and shuts himself away, but will bite your head off if you happen to bother him, pulling out every insult in the dictionary until you leave crying. This has only happened twice, and they never let their arguments get that bad after the second time.

Their first fight was caused by Starlight’s jealousy, her insecurities got the better of her and made her accuse him of a bunch of things he didn’t do. The second time it was Sunburst’s fault, he was so tired and stressed one day that he lashed out at her and she took it pretty hard.

They make up first by hugging the other from behind, as a measure to keep the other still so they hear what they have to say, and apologizing for their behavior. Even when all is forgiven and the air is cleared, they still stay cuddled and close for a while. Their both very touchy-feely ponies at heart.

Out of the two of them, Sunburst is the better cook. Having been on his own for so long meant he learned how to take care of himself, however, the recipes he can do are very limited. Starlight, on the other hand, is much more willing to try new things, even if they don’t always work out, but the times that they do, they’re very good.

Sunburst likes to hear Starlight sing, especially when he’s tired and she runs a hoof through his mane. He’s in heaven when she sings soft, nonsensical songs for his ears only.