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no way you dropped the biggest river lore in the tags and moved on like it was nothing 😭 can i ask if this is still your intentions with him? bc it sounds like you changed your mind halfway 🤔
im ngl though i really enjoy how ren and river are similar and different to each other, but does that mean river would hurt his angel but leave our friends alone the same way ren would never hurt his angel but would unalive all of our friends? since they're suppose to be each other opposites. i really hope this makes sense 😬 my final question is what is ren doing on thursday? i want to go on a cute pier date again 🩷🌸
@secretkoa asked: and can i hear more about what unsent memory is suppose to be about or is that off limits? idk if i asked this in my previous question so ignore me if i did! thank yuo and remember to drink lots of water 🐸🌱
⌞♥⌝ For those who haven't seen the original post, I want to quickly clarify once more that while River was originally my OC, he's since been picked up and revamped by my friend Jesse/@unsentmemory!!
However, now that Jesse has stepped away from the yandere community, River's fate (and da fate of Unsent Memories) has kinda been put on the sidelines for the foreseeable future.
‼️ Massive Unsent Memories and River spoilers under the cut ‼️ CW for: mentions of gore, torture, mutilation, self-harm, etc.
With all of that being said, yes, Jesse's original intention for River was for him to be your standard "serial killer-turned-yandere once he accidentally catches feelings for his latest victim (Bunny)". The only main difference is that I originally planned for River to be a generic murderer first, whereas Jesse had him become a yandere right off the bat.
You also asked to know more about Unsent Memories, and I think giving a general synopsis(?) would be fine?? ^^ But basically... After getting involved in a car accident, Bunny wakes up with amnesia and gets tricked into thinking that this random guy — whom they've never met before — is their loving, supportive boyfriend named River. In turn, he convinces Bunny that staying in their shared home would be more beneficial than staying in the hospital as it might rekindle some old memories, he'd be able to take care of them, and it would be easier for them to recover at their own pace. But surprise!! River is actually a frequent patron at the Murderer Motel™ and now has trapped Bunny in his Torture Basement®!!! <3 He also maaaay or may not've been the one who hit them with Ren's car as well... ^^ Oopsie daisy hehe
And yeah!! Similar to what you've said, River was also supposed to share (somewhat of) a narrative foil with Ren!! I personally wanted them both to have similar, complimenting vibes with each other — all while having completely different/separate motives and incentives when it comes to the object of their affection. I'm glad to see it was conveyed well enough; even after Jesse's additions to River's characterisation :3 I know I already shared some examples in the previous tags, but I can share a few more:
Where Ren puts Angel's feelings and opinions above his own, River purposefully ignores Bunny's and does everything for his own personal benefit. Essentially, "I'm doing this for you" vs "I'm doing this for me".
While Ren would never dream about harming Angel in any capacity, he's perfectly happy to kidnap, extort, torture, and kill everyone else... In contrast to River, who's accustomed to torturing and brutalising others for his own twisted enjoyment and sees it as a way to show his interest in Bunny.
Kinda silly how Ren claims to be a freelance programmer (but is actually a hacker) and how River claims to work at a music shop (it's a coverup for his second torture chamber lmaoooo).
[CW: implications of SH] Ren is willing to go as far as mentally and physically hurting himself if Angel asks him to, whereas River is willing to physically mutilate Bunny if it means keeping them by his side. [end CW]
With that being said, you can assume that Ren is easily swayed by Angel's words, opinions, and emotions, whereas River can easily sway and manipulate Bunny due to his own feelings and emotions.
This is something I've actually mentioned before, but Ren always prefers things to be tidy, so he often cleans himself up after disposing of his victims. Compared to River, who casually wears the bloodstains with pride and blames it on getting a bit rough with someone else during a boxing match.
It's no secret that Ren is willing to change every aspect of himself to earn Angel's love, and River is willing to change his serial killer ways to return Bunny's love. Da power of friendship and repressed childhood memories gksdgjh T_T /silly
Ren pretends to be a Normal Guy© with tons of empathy to spare, whereas River pretends to be a Regular Person℗ with the heart of a himbo.
I could go on but you get da point lol
So, yeah!! This is essentially the vibes we had planned for River (and Unsent Memories) before Jesse stepped down /pos ^^ I feel like talking vaguely about UM is fine since River only has a small cameo in 14DWY — and I'm sure that if Jesse ever returns from war (/silly), they'll give River muuuuch more justice than I possibly can :3c
#Hopefully me yapping in this post will suffice for all the yammering I did in the other posts' tags lmaooooo#Ren: is that guy bothering you? I'll kill him >:(#River: someone is bothering you? more than me? what the fuck#Anyways!! Lords and gentlewomen..... I give you......#River ''you made me catch feelings as a child and I don't do feelings so I'm gonna hit you with a car'' Acosta 👏👏👏 /silly#There are direct parallels between 2017!Ren and River too if you squint#Also would this be 2024!River now?? Since UM is kinda homeless rn? /silly gshjgjs I just made myself sad T_T#Also; yeag... I agree that I could've worded my original tags better because it DOES seem like we changed our minds hjdgjsk#However my original intention [within da tags] was to talk about what River's characterisation would've been BEFORE Jesse stepped down#i.e. me yapping about what you could've expected from Unsent Memories since the game's fate is kinda.... ambiguous now ^^; /nm#But again; I don't want to force Jesse to come back to da yan community and write for a game they no longer have an interest in#It's not the end of the world if 14DWY doesn't get its sequel; and it's not like I'm going to stop working on its prequel either /gen#me: guys there's another yandere in 14DWY!!!#everyone else: omg it's Leon!!!#me: ......yeah... definitely... 😼#.......I yearn to :evilhehe:#💌 — answered.#💖 — 14 days with queue.#💖 — about ren.#🌊 — about river.#secretkoa#Very brief mentions of:#cw torture#cw self harm#cw gore
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You failed him.
#emesis blue#scout#medic#tf2#team fortess 2#tf2 fanart#tf2 scout#scout tf2#tf2 medic#medic tf2#my art#(tag this however you want! I don't mind)#quickfix#tf2 blunt trauma#mediscout#medicscout#tw blood#cw blood#blood
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Procreate Doodles,,
Makoto, Izuru Kamakura, and Chihiro
Makoto was really fun to draw, He's so expressive and cute. Chihiro was one of my favorites in Thh, so they might actually get finished. Izuru.... he's there. He doesn't look bad, but I feel like I could do him more justice
#makoto naegi#izuru kamakura#chihiro fujisaki#dr thh#sdr2#danganronpa#danganronpa redesign#danganronpa trigger happy havoc#super danganronpa goodbye despair#danganronpa fanart#my art#I personally use he/they for Chihiro but tag however you want I don't mind
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It's been a long time...
I saw in one of the reblogs someone (I hope you see this!) mentioning that the combo of Alfred and LDR is underrated, oh well I've got good news for you... as I have a bazillion of Lana's songs that I associate with him (the -tism goes BRRRRR)
It's embarrassing to say that I've completed this in a span of 3 days, cause I started it way back in February
Procrastination at its finest.
#hetalia#hws#aph#hws america#aph america#animation#animatic#don't mind the high quality text in some parts this was a weird 3 am decision#No pairing tag#you are free to interpret however you wish!!!!#maybe Al is having the blues™#I don't think I will animate again any time soon#enough for this year hahah#speed running postponed things is my superpower#I'm sorry for overall bad quality I originally made a small canvas and didn't want to redraw all the frames I've already done
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I know I roast Augustin for this moment all the time but also the more I look at it the more I want to bang my head against the wall because like. my immediate reaction to this is "my man how touch starved do you have to be to enjoy yourself in this situation" but we KNOW he's not touch starved. we see him be very physically comfortable with his friends. which brings me to my other question which is HOW REPRESSED do you have to be to enjoy yourself in this situation
#sas rogue heroes#augustin jordan#paddy x augustin#ok so here's the thing#i don't think augustin sees himself as repressed#i think he IS comfortable with his sexuality and that he knows what he wants#however i also think he keeps a pretty tight grip on all of it#so like. of course physical desire is fine he's a grown man but only when he can rationalise it and control it.#i genuinely think that's why he lies about having a wife after i think he just gets kind of overwhelmed with huh. you know. in this scene#and just blurts out the first thing that comes to mind#also because the moment immediately after that gif you can see him setting his jaw like he's annoyed#and I SWEAR at least some of that annoyance is at himself#anyway i think paddy should keep making him insane. never forget what they took from us#whoops ramble in the tag alert#i am sorry i have thoughts and crunchy is away and i am giving myself a short writing break so i need to get them out SOMEWHERE#oscar rambles
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Hey YouTube. Just because I love to crochet, does not mean I want constant Woobles ads.
#crochet#i'm not their target audience even remotely AND i actively don't suggest them to beginners#especially since after the first or second kit it becomes a waste of money since 95% of the patterns are all the same#but they keep people buying more almost in a cult-like way since people want to collect them all.#also i'm convinced that the 'easy peasy' yarn is contributing to the increase in people complaining in yarn reviews#about yarn splitting. if it's plied yarn it's gonna split to some extent. i blame their yarn and the chenille trends that i also hate#so youtube. idk where you got that i'd be interested in it. i'm not.#no one say 'use ad block' i know i can but i also generally don't mind ads in general on youtube.#just shhhhh i'm more annoyed that youtube thinks i'd be interested in woobles ads. it's insulting.#(also no one come at me with 'don't tag your hate' i didn't tag woobles. if my post comes up in a search then that's tumblr's fault)#(they shouldn't have changed their search function however many years ago it was.)
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doctors: try to remember the depression is not you
me, internally: so do you want me to end up psychotic or
#why yes i DO sometimes get voices that are sure as hell not my own. in my head. but i KNOW they're not mine#however! sometimes i have to remember the depression is me or i start to lose my grip a bit!!#i do not know if i would actually end up with clinically significant psychosis but it sure feels like it sometimes#i cannot trust my own mind!!!#anyway. then tehy ask things like 'do you hear voices that aren't yours' and i automatically reply no LOL#scripting whoopsie#it's easier to say no when i can't even explain very well what DOES happen#and how often? who knows.#anyway!#personal#puddleglum hours#tw psychosis#<- dunno if this is hte right tag but i don't want anyone to be triggered by it#ask to tag#tw unreality
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tw dysphoria (i guess?), abandonment issues (it always when we talk about jimmy), just rambling about jimmy not being a toy but being dysphoric about it
(you can just delete it before reading if it could trigger you)
in my head all this "jimmy is a toyyy!!!" arc was not about haha toy story and let's ignore how they could know about it, okay, it's like how scott doesn't remember pearl and jimmy just OMG MY RANCHER, OMG SCAR, OH NO, GRIAN and yeah yeah yeah
you know that thing when everyone bulling person and calling them, for example, "monster" and they are like, well, a lot of people call me that, i should conform (megamind basically). that's something similar, everyone call jimmy a toy (which he's not) and he's starting to doubt if he's a human. everything joel did to him (or its all hallucinations or joel really can control it and make jimmy toy for some time) just making worth. jimmy wasn't a toy, was he? (in my headcanons sheriff jimmy it's cod jimmy that decided to try again but absolute opposite of what he was.)
and because of green also making hallucinations for him (i hope you knows green something like origin, you can find it something in romeos blog, i wrote about it a little), jimmy is really can't really say if he's not a toy. he doesn't want to belive it and we can see it in dialogues with scar, that jimmy refusing to be a toy, an action figure, everything besides who he really is.
i can imagine him, avoiding mirrors and reflective surfaces, so he won't see himself. i'm really inspired to write it all bc of cavetown dysphoric, it's so jimmy for me
it's been over a year now
i thought it was the end
but now i don't remember comfort
because what i am is what i'm not
i don't belong here, it's just hopeless
find me a way out
if you love me at all
don't let me hear what they say
cuz i can't stand it every day
i'm thinking that i should leave now
but i don't i think i'm coming back this time
it's killing my heart.
and scar was the only one who doesn't call jimmy a toy like 90% of their time together. jimmy knows that scar will leave, like his rancher left him, like emp1 scott left him alone with problem with cod father head and yeah yeah yeah....
i don't know, i just woke up and my brain wad like good morning, honey, it's time to make people suffer
- 🔥
angst?? for me??? 🥺🥺👉👈
HKDHKHLADH SCrEAMING,, putting thoughts under the cut cus i already know its gonna get Long but hkhlkfdhjk
OuGH i love this 😭😭😭 although the megamind comparison kinda sent me lmao
side note i am. into very disturbing and messed up themes so you'd have to try very, very hard to upset me. so go wild in my ask box lol (i do have a good chunk of ppl who just have 'minor' in their bios following me tho so i might not respond to smth if i feel like it's 'too far' or hide it under a cut but yeah)
^realising this sounds like a "i am very badass" thing but i swear i just think stuff is cool 😭😭😭
BUT ANYWAY ouhfhkl mind break and objectification my beloved. i love taking the toy bit in an angsty direction cus i'll be honest i never really found the humour in it but it's TASTY recontextualized.
Jimmy's got a lot of fight in him but I'm just thinking maybe one day it all becomes a bit too much and he just.. goes limp in his seat, eyes glazed over, motionless except for his chest rising and falling with each breath. Someone (maybe Scar, since we're doing Scaridarity) finds him and is like "Hey, what's wrong? You okay?" and gets no response.
Scar would probably be somewhat uninitiated on the whole toy thing and be puzzled but I'd think he scoops Jimmy up and takes him somewhere safe til he recovers. and when he finally gets up he has a bit of a panic attack about what is real.
#asks#🔥 anon#cw mind break#cw dehumanisation#cw dysphoria#cw dehumanization#<-- i would probs classify it more as mind break but ill put it here for the song inspo#and cus its what ur tagging it as so who am i to argue lol#but yeah i like the toy bit much more as a psychological thing personally than anything literal#it just hits different when it's a flesh and blood Person being treated as if they have no will of their own#angst#whump#like. wear what we want you to wear. do what we want you to do.#we'll play with you however we like and once we're bored we'll leave you til we want you again#and you don't get to not like it. or like it. you're a toy. stupid. toys dont think.#uh yeah jimmy. jimmy. my babygirl#i cant believe this bullshit was inspired by a stupid toy story bit#quick side note i forgor to add. my funny headcanon for no one knowing if they remembered life series or not during the crossover is that#they do remember and scott and pearl are just pretending to not recognise eachother cus its awkward lmao
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Vesper thoughts; Late Night Swim (Please read the tags for CW before opening)
Sometimes, when it's late at night and he can't sleep, Vesper will go for a swim in the Citadel's private pool. Technically it's Pansa's, but Vesper uses it far more often. He keeps the overhead lights off, just turning on the ambient lights beneath the water, setting them to a soft pink. The water is cold at night, since he never bothers to turn on the heaters. He lowers himself in slowly and launches off the side with his feet, dipping below the water and silently swimming across the length of the pool. He touches his fingertips to the opposite wall, comes up for a breath, and then launches off again. He lets himself get lost in the rhythm of it, almost meditative as each gasp for breath and soft splash fills the otherwise silent room. He'd struggled with swimming when he was young. He'd never seen so much water in one place before, and he certainly couldn't imagine being able to move your body through it. He hadn't been the only cadet who couldn't swim, but he still wasn't willing to be left behind, learning this basic skill as others got to start the real training. He took up every second of pool time he was allowed to. The number of times he'd almost drowned was over half a dozen. It never stopped him. Tonight he swims with grace, barely perceptible in the dark, pink water. On one wall of the pool room is a massive window overlooking the city of Starport. Lights glimmer from below, but up above the jagged silhouette of skyscrapers is a clear view of the night sky. Three moons shine brightly, surrounded by the pinprick light of stars. Vesper lets it interrupt his focus, gliding to the edge of the pool and staring out. The city is always alight, never sleeping, alive with the constant flow of power thanks to Stardust, the lifeblood of the Empire. He's not unlike the city, in that way. As his gaze turns up towards the sky, he gets a familiar feeling in his chest. It feels like someone is pulling him, like there are two strong hands wrapped around his ribs tugging him out toward the sky. The tightness spreads up into his neck, feeling as if there's something lodged there, words he does not know trapped in his throat, desperately needing to be called out. He tries to follow the feeling, let the words free, but there's nothing. He remains silent. Finally, he pushes away from the wall and treads water in the center of the pool. If he looks closely at the water he can almost convince himself that it's reflecting the sky. Vesper takes a deep breath and closes his eyes. He lets himself sink. He can feel it when his back makes contact with the floor. He looks behind him, but nothing is there. Stretching infinitely in all directions is the cold, eternal void of space. His hair flows up above him with no gravity to hold it down. Beyond him is a field of stars, trillions all clustered together, sisters lighting up the otherwise desolate stage in a glittering crescendo of flame and color. For a moment their magnificence is all he can comprehend, and he releases the knot in his throat in a silent, awestruck breath. Bubbles emerge from his mouth and float up and away.
Their beauty reaches his soul, but their warmth is inaccessible at this distance. The void's cold prickles against his skin. His fingers buzz like static, and when he finally brings them up to his face they're a bright pink. With a twitch, his fingertips break away into shimmering Stardust. There's an odd feeling in his chest again. It's different now, not being pulled away but rather crushing in on itself. It feels tight and uncomfortable, constricting his lungs and pressing hard against his bones. He watches as more of his hand disintegrates and floats away from him. It doesn't hurt much. It's prickly and uncomfortable, but then it's just numb. Maybe it will spread across his whole body. That wouldn't be so bad really. He could stay here forever that way. The pressure has turned into pain. It's crushing his lungs, traveling up his esophagus and winding around his throat. It hurts. He wants the light to spread faster, to reach his chest and turn it to dust so the ache will stop. He'll be at rest, his body turned to Stardust, the lifeblood of the Empire. The Empire. Vesper opens his eyes. He breaks the surface of the water with a crash and is able to make his way to a ledge, resting his weight against it as he violently coughs and gasps for air. It takes him several minutes to finally catch his breath. He's tired, and he's freezing, but he feels more at ease than he had before. He gets out and dries himself off, changing into some very comfortable pajamas, a gift from Pansa. He returns to his quarters and crawls back into bed. The covers are soft and warm. Feeling cozy and exhausted, he finds it easy to drift off to sleep. He dreams of stars.
#CW for Drowning risk. Described Difficulty breathing. and slight body horror#Also: Vesper does not have any desire to hurt himself or to stop living#However. Some content in this writing may reflect those sorts of feelings or ideations#It could be argued that the reckless behavior in this writing could also be considered self-harm#To be specific: He goes swimming alone late at night and lets himself stay under the water longer than is safe#Please keep these things in mind before reading#Vesper tag#(Also I wrote this at 1:00 am so don't expect art or anything lol)#Some clarification for what's going on: Vesper sometimes feels a deep sense of longing for outer space#Like something is calling him there. Like he belongs there. So besides taking a spaceship all the way out there the closest-#-He can get is being underwater. So this is kinda therapeutic for him. He can feel briefly closer to the stars#and is also able to remind himself of the things he values that he doesn't want to leave behind.#Obviously it's reckless and not really safe#But I assure you all he's just fine. Think of it more like an intense homesickness than a desire to actually become a star or-#-Leave his life behind.
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there’s one on here currently and they’re bringing back up old controversy (jashshipping)
Yeaa I saw that. They also seem to post a bunch of CJ related things, so I might make the daily photos one since there isn't one for just CJ screenshots/photos
#im gonna be a fait bit busy today so I cant make it rn#also wont be making it tomorrow as there's another strike happening then [ill make a post on that later too btw]#but i want there to be an account just of stuff from the vids or of the ones he posts on twitter#as for the shipping thing#i wish ppl wouldn't be so rude with things sometimes man#my stance is basically the same as CJs. interpret it however you'd like just don't show it to ppl who are uncomfortable with it#also don't harass or be a dick to people who do or don't ship it#im glad it died down since then at least & that there's not a bunch of hate going around#this fandom is simultaneously really nice to be in & also really draining sometimes#tho it definitely isn't the worse. ive been in a lot of ones that are a LOT worse than here. big & small#place is actually quite nice mostly. despite some things that deserve needing to be called out [like some of the ableism toward Heart]#I think things would be a lot better if people just let others do their own thing. as long as its not like. fuckin illegal or offense#or against CJs boundaries. just let others vibe out in there own corner#ain't that what we all said when TH purists complain about CJs covers? No ones forcing you to consume the content. is all good#just stay where you're comfortable! if anyone's forcing you to look at their stuff then they're the issue. and that goes both ways#again just listen to what the guy said. don't show it to people that don't like it. don't harass people who do it don't like it. an like#just be groovy#sorry for the rant this has just been on my mind for months now#im generally very neutral on things but i hate everyone just yellin at each other when there doesn't need to be yelling in the first place#again this place is hell of a lot better than other spaces ive been in#its a main reason this is the first fandom I've actively participated a shit ton in#im actually using discord & talking [a bit] to other ppl for once lol#idk man i like it here. Just don't make a reason for people not to like it here#again apologies for the rant op. this has just been on my mind for some time & i really don't want shit being blown up again#also apologize if anythins spelled wrong or sounds like nonsense#shitty keyboard + dyslexia + not being able to edit tags can make dumb results lol#moss rants#[atlas asks]
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"Why is there a raccoon on your lap?" Alex asked, knowing he was going to regret the answer.
Willie looked up at him sheepishly. "Cause.... the raccoon might be Reggie?" they admitted.
Alex grimaced. Oh no. Not again. "What happened?" he asked, turning toward the herb bottles on the kitchen counter.
The raccoon squealed and Willie quickly resumed his steady stroking of its back. "Not totally sure," they admitted. "Almost definitely a potion, but I don't know if it was an accident or if..."
If someone did this on purpose.
Alex clenched his fist, trying to shut off the sparks that were forming on his fingertips at the thought of anyone trying to hurt Reggie. He didn't have time for anger now, he had to get an antidote ready. Willie might be better at incantations, but potions had always been Alex's strength.
"Is he gonna be okay?" Willie asked softly as Alex prepped the ingredients.
Alex nodded, forcing himself to stay calm. "Yeah, we'll figure this out. And then he can tell us how this happened."
He hoped it had been some sort of accident. Because if someone had done this to Reggie on purpose... well, he wasn't sure that he or Willie could be trusted not to retaliate.
(Send me the first sentence of a fanfic and I'll write the next 5+!)
#legolas tag#who is in love in this fic?#who knows!#not the writer!#is it Willex?#Is it Willexie?#is it Ralex?#darned if I know!#read it however you want!#no I will not be explaining the magic system here!#cause I don't know how it works either!#pretty sure this is NOT what you had in mind when you sent it in#but I hope you liked it!
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*Pops back in after being MIA for about 2 years, and notices quite a bit has changed in the Bill Skarsgard fandom.*
Oh...
Oh my.
#Is everyone okay in the bill fandom?#are you guys hydrating#staying healthy#some of you look amazing going on all these years later and I'm so proud of you#however i have noticed tags are filled with drama posts too#so im just scrolling past and minding my business because i don't know who has got what going on and it ain't my circus#but um yeah i have missed the fandom and i wanted to check in with you all#so hi#lol
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Genuine observation, no sass and no disrespect, but being someone who is chronically OFFline & an active volunteer/activist for over a decade, and seeing what people say is "crucial discourse" online is... Quite the trip, honestly.
#vee vibrates#I understand that some things are more important to others than they are to me but.#I really need people to understand that sometimes you're better off volunteering at a shelter of ANY kind if you want to commit real change.#Online advocacy is crucial but man am I worried as hell for the kids that don't seem to understand that offline is even moreso.#And being disabled + queer myself I know that it can (and often is) a safety and accessibility issue but zoouniverse.org exists.#That website where you solve history and math quizzes to give rice to impovrished families is online.#Just. Anything that puts this aggressive “”advocacy“” to rest. Ego will be the death of us and we don't need anymore of it.#And if anybody reads this and finds themselves getting upset ask yourself this: Why does this upset me? Do I see myself in this?#Because you'd know that I am speaking out of genuine desperation when I say all of this.#I am not any better than any online activist just because I do a lot of work offline.#I am just so fucking tired of seeing people misdirect their rightful frustrations and fall further prey to the elites' divisive desires.#Is it so much to ask of you all to finally be angry at those who truly make our lives miserable? Or are we just going to keep playing cop?#At the end of the day it's your choice. I cannot force you. However you will grow old one day and look back. Remember that.#I for one don't want to have any regrets about any time I wasted on bigots and trolls and people who have already decided on their opinions.#I want to look back and be grateful for the opportunity to help so many people as many helped me in my direst times of need.#I think that's the difference here. A lot of online folk didn't go through the poverty & severe abuse & bigotry I faced since I was born.#I went through hell and came out kinder in the end because I was at the end of the proverbial whip myself at several points before 16.#But trauma doesn't make you compassionate. You choose to be. And I choose to never repeat the cycle.#The day I do is the day I've lost both my mind and my spirit. I will never repeat my family's & abusers' horrific mistakes.#I will be kinder to a world that needs kindness now more than ever. Even if I scream my throat out forever doing so.#I don't need a voice to be heard.#Anyways sorry. I woke up on the desparate side of the bed. Thank you to all who fight the good fight.#Despite everything I've said I have so much more faith and hope now more than ever. We will prevail.#And thank you if you read all of these tags?? Safety love and solidarity to you you're the MVP. ;_; 💜
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slams my head violently against the wall /neg
#the yapper#sighs.#gonna rant in the tags for a bit. (feel free to respond‚ i dont mind. i just need to get my thoughts out there)#also if you see any ships/characters censored its not because i hate them. its because i dont want them to pop up on the main tags !!#i fucking hate. hate hate HATE it when people shit talk certain design choices and ships and aus in the fandom#well. in any fandom really. but this is my ppt blog so this is what i'm gonna be talking about#but anyways back on track#i dont care if someone doesn't like something. thats the not the problem#the problem is when they don't like something and start being super fucking mean about it#i dont care if you hate d*ynap or p*ppyn*gs or oc x canon or tall c*tnap or skinny d*gday or [x] au or etc. i respect your opinion.#i DO care however‚ when you start being a dick about it. i dont respect you anymore when you call an au bad or shit when it doesnt feature#your favorite ship. i dont respect you anymore when you get mad at/disrespect an artist for drawing a character in a way you dont hc#or when you go under an artist's drawing to say 'cute.... but [x] is better ^_^' (boils my fucking blood. just say its cute or look away.)#or when you get mad at them for not centering their au around the ship you like. all of this includes when you do it behind their back‚ btw#i'm not asking anyone to engage with content they dont like. but good lord.#can you not talk about the stuff you dislike without putting them and the people who enjoy them down?? you sound like a jerk.#hrfhdg idk dude. it just makes me so angry and sad. please do better you guys.#sorry if this came off as too harsh. i'm just really sleepy and upset right now. so sick of this entitlement and these fuckass ship wars#it's so draining#im gonna take a nap and see if it makes it better#i'll also start drawing when i wake up !! sorry for anyone who was waiting in my askbox. my mind's just been occupied lately
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well that poll game made me think about the biggest fish for the first time in a while
#keeping the rest in the tags because i don't yet feel overly confident abt it#i think eönwë/eärwen dynamic is very fun to consider esp in context of eönwë/eärwen/finarfin#they both respect each other and appreciate the impact the other had on finarfin's life. however they also think the other sucks#and that they're a better partner than the other#from eärwen's pov it's “i'm literally his wife you don't get further than that. sorry”#somewhat caused by the insecurity abt their only recently back to normal relationship#for eönwë it's “yeah sorry i don't think going no contact for a few centuries and leaving him completely alone is something i'd do. sad!”#eönwë CAN understand her on the logical level but also deep down he thinks that abandoning finarfin (or like anyone you love) is the worst#thing someone can do. sorry#(yes finarfin abandoned her first. he felt very bad about it later ok. also he came back so doesn't really count.)#and they CAN tolerate each other and even convince themselves they don't mind each other at all except they Do#it's not “i hate you and think you should disappear” issue. it's “i'm frustrated with you for reasons i can't articulate”#“and also for making me laugh occasionally and for being so fucking smart and lowkey hot. pretend i didn't say the last sentence”#so they end up being snipy at each other and somewhat passive-agressive and also I Love Finarfin Better Than You Sorry. Now Move#and meanwhile finarfin is like hey can you move a bit. yeah your psychosexual staredown with my wife blocks drawer acces. yes thank you#the biggest fish#<- i'll NEED to come up with a better title#feel free to ask me abt this if you want! or dm if you're a mutual
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·.⌇ 𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒. you’ve been one of sukuna’s many concubines for quite a while now. yet, you still cannot get rid of the jealousy in your system whenever he interacts with the other women in his harem.
wc. idk around 1 to 2k
tags. true form!sukuna x concubine!female reader. angst (hurt to comfort), fluff, suggestive at the end. heian era. you call sukuna ‘my lord’. reader gets called ‘brat, little girl’. size difference. no part2, don’t ask i beg. not beta read.
“get back here, brat,” sukuna raises his voice as he follows you. he isn’t one to care about others’ emotional outbursts, yet here he is, chasing you after you’ve poured out your heart to him.
you don’t know why you’re this upset. you do know, however, that it’s childish of you to walk away mid dinner. you should’ve just stayed seated and refuse to let the thoughts consume you.
now you’re speed walking down the hallways of the estate—your legs carrying you as fast as they can without actually making a run for it. your mind keeps replaying the ‘unsettling’ scene that caused you to flee.
you remember it vividly. the sound of sukuna’s low, amused chuckle. how intrigued it was because of something another concubine told him—how he stopped chewing to say something back to her. which he rarely does.
hell, you’ve never seen him laugh around his other concubines.
“i do not wish to talk to you right now, my lord,” you reply, voice raised so the distance wouldn’t make it a hassle for the king of curses to hear you. you know that feisty attitude of yours entertains sukuna to no end.
he raises an eyebrow once he’s heard your voice; how it’s dripping with envy and hurt. you’ve never reacted like that before—at least not in his presence. it made him want to figure out why and how.
though, he can easily guess the reasoning behind your sudden defiance.
“oh, that so?” sukuna hums. he’s lenient with you this time around. he could catch up to you in under a split second, but he decides to give you that sense of accomplishment first before completely destroying it. he walks after you slowly, your fast steps being the same tempo as his slow pace.
you don’t answer. you’re stubborn. you have no right to feel jealous. you are a fairly new concubine—only a couple months ago did you join sukuna’s harem. yet, the time spent with him was precious.
he treats you differently. everyone notices that. everyone tells you the same. you know he does by the way he lets you off the hook with most stuff you say and do.
you don’t know what you did to gain his favouritsm, but it’s addicting. his attention is addictive. real addictive.
you had sworn not to develop any unneccessary feelings for that ruthless sorcerer. but, with the way sukuna treated you so gently behind closed doors, it was impossible not to.
you eventually reach the doors to your chambers. you slide them open and wish to close them behind you, only for a big hand to halt those movements. you freeze in place and refuse to look up at the owner of that said hand.
“look up,” sukuna demands. his voice causes goosebumps to appear on your arms, but you still don't budge. he clicks his tongue. that’s your first warning. two more and your punishment will be carried out, “we can do this the hard way too if you want.”
you turn your head, your fingers curling around the material of your kimono. you really should not feel this way about a little interaction between sukuna and his other concubine. that is none of your concern. what he does with those other women is none of your concern.
and yet. . .
“i don't want to,” you retort. sukuna walks into your room with a sigh. each step he takes forwards, you take backwards. your back finally bumps against the wall next to your bed.
sukuna towers over you, his tall and big frame making you feel vulnerable. especially with the way those red eyes of his are staring down at you. he crosses all four of his arms before speaking.
“tell me what’s running through that head of yours,” sukuna inquires sternly. he isn’t playing around anymore, you can tell. you glance the other way—knowing that he will laugh at you the moment you tell him why you’re upset.
you have a feeling he knows the reason behind your tantrum anyway.
“it’s nothing of importance, my lord,” you shake your head and relax your tense shoulders to make you seem less upset. your words have some truth in them—you don’t think your feelings of envy hold any value to him.
sukuna sighs again. he’s trying his best not to be annoyed at you. you’re his favorite and he wishes not to sadden you any further. he steps forwards, one hand moving to cup the side of your face.
his rough fingers play with a string of your hair, “i’m not stupid, little girl. i don’t like it when my woman is in distress.”
your heart skips a beat. this is what confuses you—how he can go from stern to gentle and vice versa. it’s surprisingly unexpected, which makes you long for more. even if his behaviour is confusing.
you look up at sukuna. your eyes meet for the first time in a good couple minutes. the corner of sukuna’s lips curls up into a satisfied smirk. that’s one step closer to getting you to open up.
“now,” the king of curses lowers his head to your eye level, the proximity all the more nerve wracking. he holds your jaw super tightly out of the blue. it makes you whimper.
“spit it out.”
there it is. the duality of the man strikes once more. you swallow the spit that’s been building up in your mouth. you bite your bottom lip lightly, trying to gather and form the right words to explain yourself.
sukuna wouldn’t understand. he’s a cold-hearted man who doesn’t care about such ‘trivial’ matters. he’ll just call you stupid, pathetic or whatever other derogatory term.
you stop your thoughts for a moment.
“it’s really just a stupid thing,” you mutter. your fingers curl around sukuna’s wrist—the one hand he’s using to firmly hold your jaw. you take a deep breath in, “i did not like it when you, errr. . . when that woman talked to you at the dinner table.”
your voice is clearly dripping with jealousy. pure, pure jealousy. and for what? because he talked to his other concubine. you feel stupid. you thought you discarded your personal feelings for the sorcerer before you the moment you turned into one of his many women.
“that woman?” sukuna tilts his head, feigning ignorance. that little grin on his face tells you enough. he’s playing with you like some form of entertainment. well, technically you are.
he wants you to be specific. he’s forcing you to be by acting like he doesn’t know what you’re talking about.
in all honesty, sukuna’s already forgotten what that woman had said to him. it wasn’t and still isn’t worth remembering. all he can recall is your adorable facial expression when you saw him interact like that with his other concubine.
that little frown on your face was priceless. it makes him want to keep teasing you.
“you know who i am talking about, my lord,” you huff, trying to look away, but get stopped by sukuna readjusting his grip on your jaw. he firmly yet gently taps your cheek once and you know what it means.
“attitude,” sukuna warns with a quick hiss. he can let you say whatever you want to him, but you also have some limits regarding which tone you use with him. you apologise quietly under your breath.
the king of curses nods in satisfaction before releasing the grip on your jaw. his large hand trails down to your neck, thumb rubbing up and down your throat, “so, my little girl is mad at me because i talked to another concubine of mine, huh?”
you nod mindlessly. sukuna can easily get you to comply with him—to obey his every word, simply with his actions. the terms of endearment he uses are the cherry on top. they slip off his tongue so easily with you.
“tsk tsk,” sukuna shakes his head. his hand is now on the back of your head, fingers tangled into your hair. he’s staring down at you with a smug expression. he knows he’s got you wrapped around his finger, “how childish of you.”
you knew that would be one of the things he’d say to you. what you didn’t expect is for him to go for a kiss right after. his lips land on yours firmly, and to no surprise, you instantly return the gesture.
your arms wrap around his neck—your chest pressing against his. sukuna wastes no time in picking you up and letting your legs encircle his waist. he’s not pulling away for air to breathe and you don’t either.
“you’re going to listen to me, yeah?” sukuna murmurs between passionate kisses. he’s holding onto you tightly with two arms, his free hands roaming over your body whilst he pins you against the wall.
when you whimper out a weak, high-pitched ‘yes, my lord’, he smirks against your mouth before turning to kiss your neck. he slightly bites the skin to make sure you’re paying attention to him.
“i don’t remember what that woman said,” sukuna continues, nearly out of breath because of the kisses he’s leaving all over you. he easily grabs both your wrists and pins them above your head on the wall, “i was too busy lookin’ at a much prettier concubine of mine.”
he pulls back a little so he can look you in the eyes. you’re panting and embarrassed by what he just said. one of his hands finds your face again, tracing the shape of your mouth.
“my favourite,” sukuna whispers whilst licking his lips. you can see it in his eyes: he’s silently planning out how he’s going to remind you of your place. your place as his favorite concubine.
he dips his head back down, aiming for the valley between your breasts. he closes his eyes before sucking on the surrounding flesh;
“guess i’ll be nice for once ‘nd show you just what it means to be my favorite so that you’ll never dare forget it again.”
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