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anonymous-existences · 3 months ago

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Chapter 3 : Love Advices And a Creepstick™

I'm going Insane, Anyways. Enjoy this Long ass Chapter.

[𝙿𝚊𝚛𝚔 𝚁𝚘𝚠, 𝙲𝚛𝚒𝚖𝚎 𝙰𝚕𝚕𝚎𝚢, 𝚁��𝚍 𝙷𝚘𝚘𝚍'𝚜 𝚃𝚞𝚛𝚏]

Dan was walking to Crime Alley with his long Hair tied up in a bun, he puts on his Red Crimson Cap and put his gun In a holster hidden under his shirt hanging by his belt for safety precautions. "Oi! Sup Dan." He heard Hood from afar on top of a fire exit, Dan waves by tipping his hat up. Dan still wore a mask as to not attract too much attention to the albinism features he showcases. "I heard you needed me from The Chron(Clockwork) Man." Hood laughs as he hopped out of the fire exit and heading to Dan. "Don't worry it's not babysitting this time." Dan chuckles and pats Hood's Head as they walked Jason's apartment discreetly, Dan already know Jason was Red Hood because of them sparring and Dan accidentally using his "meta" fire powers and burning half of the Mask.

"I still feel guilty for burning your first mask." Dan mutters and Hood laughs waving that off, "Think of it like payback when I tried to stab you for being suspicious and it also convinced me to finally get a new mask so it's fine." Jason laughed and Dan pats his head. Jason took off his mask, "so what's up?" He plopped on the couch. "I need courting advices.... How do you court a man?" Dan says and Jason almost choked on his soda in surprise. "Damn, on your age? How old are they?" Jason asks hesitantly, "I am not that type of person... And also the same age as me." Dan says as he opened a bag of chips and lowers his face mask to eat as they watched Telenovelas in Jason's Apartment.

"Why do you think I know anything about that...?" Jason tilts his head, "Oh please, if you swore your on your brothers lives and say you're not gay they'd die." Dan states earning him a pillow to the face. "It's true, you're quite zesty with Roy at times." Jason scoffed, "I am not he has a kid for god's sake—" Jason combs his hair, "uh-huh but still... How do you court someone?" Dan asks again much more amused tone this time. "Flowers, gifts, serenade them if you must." Jason says casually as If Dan wasn't some rich Dad. "Jason... I'm... I'm a single father, and that man also has many kids. We're the same age. I've fucked him—" Jason gagged, "Ew, don't tell me about your love life dad— I mean Dan. DO NOT LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT!!" Jason threw more pillow and Dan just laughs, Jason has called him dad in rare but more common occasions and the excuse will always be, "I ONLY CALLED YOU THAT BECAUSE DAN AND DAD HAVE ONE LETTER DIFFERENCES!!" Jason scoffed in anger and Dan just nods as he caught all the pillows being thrown at him.

Jason looks so much like when Danny was younger, white hair streak, Black Messy and Puffy Hair, Trauma Scars and more, Vigilantism type of shtick, even the Autopsy Scar and Baby Blue Eyes. "You look so much like Danny... Maybe he'll grow up to look like you." Dan smiles and Jason finally eases down, "but as I was fucking saying you old timer. You can court men with either cute meets or something. Act like it's a coincidence, say it must be fate or hell.... According to the Telenovelas we are watching send him love letters." Jason sat back down and settled himself deep in the soft pillows of the couch as they continued to watch the drama.

"Oh my god, Kristina has a twin sister?Al and She and Her Husband didn't know?? HE'S BEEN FUCKING HU—" Dan watching the twists "HE FUCKED HER TWIN SISTER INSTEAD OF HER IN THEIR WEDDING NIGHT AND BOTH OF THEM GIRLS ARE PREGNANT???" Both Dan and Jason Gasped Loudly and Dramatically, this was something they didn't expect to happen as a twist in their favorite telenovela. "¿Qué carajo acaba de pasar?" Dan mutters and Jason shrugged still mouth agape, "i swear to my brothers ungodly unfortunate love lives this wasn't something I expected either. There was no hints but, THAT FILLS IN THE PAST PLOTHOLES!!" Jason yelled and opened another bag of chips.

"What if I adopt you?" Dan asks suddenly and Jason looked at him with a nonchalant "are you serious?" Face and sighed, "Too late I'm already adopted also I'm in my 20s fuck you dad— DAN— DAMMIT—" Jason cursed and Dan laughed. "who are you crushing on anyways?" Jason asks as he calms down as he starts eating his chips.

"Specifically who did you fuck?" Jason mutters.

"Bruce Wayne."

Dan casually says and Jason just stared at him, "MY DAD?!" Jason yells in shock, "Bruce Wayne is your DAD?!" Dan yelled back, "YES BITCH! MY NAME IS JASON PETER TODD-WAYNE!!" Jason yells as he stood up and points at himself still shocked, "OH IM SORRY BUT I DONT DO BACKGROUND CHECKS ON EVERYONE!!" Dan yelled back and both men sighed. "So let me settle this straight.... You fucked MY Dad. And then... You want to court him? Jesus Christ Spare me today. When will you ever spare me of these types of bullshit?" Jason pinches the bridge of his nose and groans in defeat, "So that's what the little Brat was talking about..." Jason just drags his hand down his face and Dan tilts his head.

"Which one?" Dan asks and continues to watch the telenovela as if he didn't just find out He's planning to court Jason's Dad, Brucie-Fucking-Wayne but okay— "Stabby Stabby and Sleep Deprived." Jason just dialing someone. "Let me call someone to process this information for me." Jason sighs "it's not that ba—" Jason shots him a glare "YOU FUCKED MY DAD AND WANT TO COURT HIM! THAT'S WHAT'S BAD FOR ME—" Jason just yelled. "I mean you already call me your Father as well so why not—" Dan was cut off by Jason throwing his slipper at him, "that's rude." Dan laughs and throws it back at Jason who catches it and steps out the apartment to answer his calls. "Dick." Jason answers, "Okay so B isn't possessed or A Clon—" Jason cuts him off, "Dick. Listen. Remember the Guy I said is like a second father figure to me?" Jason says hesitantly. "Yeah...?" Dick Says slowly trying to get the hint of what Jason is about to say.

"He's the one who Got B like that. The one who forced B into Bed Rest for a Sore Back." Jason states and is met with a yell of shock, "WHAT??!? THE NICE BIG GUY?? THE GUY WHO IS TALLER THAN BRUCE?!?! THEEE DAAAN??!?" Dick just questioning, "SHUT THE FUCK UP AND YES HIM DICK." Jason yelled back, "Okay... Okay.... I know for a fact that Even Damian has Met Dan— and approved of him being around Us because he is very Kind and Caring and Also his sister is badass and also because He's badass when he needs to and the baby bat thought it was cool— BUT WHAT?!" Dick just having mixed emotions stirring in his chest, I mean how do you process the guy who is both. Heart of gold and Has Had Blood Bathed Hands be— WHAT—.

"Exactly My reaction and this bitch just told me he wants to Court Bruce." Jason groaned loudly, "Oh My God... This is Wild! this is amazing. LET'S push FOR IT! HE'S A GOOD MAN!!" Dick laughs, "WHAT DO YOU MEAN PUSH FOR IT?!" Jason just wanted to strangle or shake Dick if he was even there but he sighs in defeat.

"Gods Have Mercy On My Fucking Sanity." He taps his feet on the floor in irritation and also slowly considering it. "Yeah... The Man's good and his sister forced most of my guys into therapy with her for free. Alfred needs a teammate and she can be that teammate." Jason just started chuckling, visibly and mentally scheming about how they can use Jazz to Put the Batfam into Therapy.

News Rolled around the Television, Joker has escaped again. ".... Jazz is so gonna be pissed...." Dan mutters and Jason just nods in agreement as he comes back inside the apartment, "isn't he, her patient?" Jason asks, "Yeah, she beats him with a Sandal if he doesn't behave and she takes away his Pinkie Pie Collection that she bribes him with. She has full authority over the man and I couldn't be more terrified of my own sister." Dan sighs then suddenly he stood up stunned. "... Something's wrong though.... Something's wrong." His Dad Senses? Fraid Senses? Whatever it was it is tingling and bells ringing like crazy and he wasn't fond of that feeling, "I'll try your love advices Jaylad, I might just become your Stepfather ya know." Dan laughs, "as long as you force my family into therapy I absolutely am in for it." Jason laughed and watched Dan jump out of the 3rd floor apartment and bolt out of the alley.

[𝙹𝚊𝚣𝚣 𝙿𝙾𝚅]

She lost Danny and Ellie in the crowd of panicking people, an explosion on the right side of the mall occured, Jazz turn on her phone and comms to start tracking the two kids. She yelled out their names but she dragged with the crowd, Her Worry was begining to stir up in her chest, worsening by the second she does not have her sights on them.

"Danny! Ellie!" She cried out, tears forming at the edge of her eyes frantically looking around in a panic, "Auntie..." She heard through the comms in Ellie's Dress. "Hic... I'm scared.... The clown man is looking for us... Danny hit his head and won't wake up.... Hic.." Ellie says her voice trembling in fear.

"I-I'll come find you Ellie, where are you— please tell me—" Jazz heaves desperately, "I-I don't know... It's Da—"

"Found you~"

Ellie screamed and the comms was cut off, "Ellie!" Jazz yelled out but soon realized their communication was cut off.

Jazz could feel her blood pumping, she opened a pocket portal and pulled out her Phantom CreepStick™, her eyes felt as though at any moment it's gonna glow a neon green, her body was trembling in anger.

"I'm gonna kill that fucking clown..." She mutters under her breathe, she forcedfully walked her way through the crowd of people until there was no more, She snuck out the mall seamlessly without anyone noticing her presence at all as if though she never existed at all

She furrowed her brows her heart filled with rage, "I will not let anyone... Hurt my family ever again." She mutters under heavy breathes as she tracks Ellie's and Danny's Location through her phone.

The tears on her tears rolled and she wipes them her face turning serious and almost devoid of any sympathy or mercy. She dials Dan's Number who answered immediately, "They're on the News." Dan says as he bolted to where the location is saying Danny and Ellie was being hostage by The Joker.

Joker was Monologuing as Jazz expected in the 'Live Stream', "I'm heading there now.... He's talking about you and Bruce Wayne's Fucking One night stand, Dan. Just so you know once Vlad wakes up I'll let him deal with you." Jazz sternly voiced out as she felt a low growl under her breathe, so aggresive yet so calculative.

Dan growled on the phone as he watched the so called stream, Sam was on the line, "Tucker found em and pinpointed which floor they're located." Sam was floating from afar on top of a building, "I see Batman and Nightwing. And an Extra Red Hood heading to the same location. Aren't they fast but will they be useful? No idea. "

"I'll Beat Joker Myself. Im almost there. I stole someone's bike." Jazz says over the Comms, "You stole something— did you atleast pay for it?" Sam asks, "I Gave them an envelope of Money." Jazz states, "Makes Sense." Dan says, he was bolting with his bike to The Location absolutely breaking every speeding law as he does so.

Sam floated over to the Abandoned Warehouse and Saw Batman trying to assess the situation but to no avail the kids are currently surrounded by Poisonous gas filled canisters in a tube that could kill their small bodies with ease, Ellie was sobbing. "Tucker. There's poison gas bombs. Like poison gas bomb contraptions, I'm waiting for you Jazz."

Dan Growls in the comms and Jazz reaches the abandoned warehouse first, any goons of Joker she came across she knocked out with ease. "Danny's still unconscious, Ellie is too scared to go intangible, Grab Em Sam." Jazz orders and Jazz Hummed an Approval and she swooped in and went visible for a moment grabbing Danny and Ellie and going invisible with the two children before the poisonous gas he apparently concocted kicks in and fully kill the two.

Joker was confused, he thinks it's something Batman Did and Jazz with her Creepstick Dragged it across his face sending him to the wall, she was heaving filled with adrenaline and she charged at Joker and Hit him again, all live on TV. Red hood was there only because it was joker and he babysits those two babies and He's cheering for Jazz as she fully knocked the Crazy Clown Up with her Now bloody Metal Bat.

She whips her head around and glares at Batman, "You're too slow. You don't wait until something happens Batman." Jazz muttered, her eyes feeling as tho they're piercing right through their souls. Jazz picks up her bat again and threw it at the camera that was recording live and Destroyed it, the Bat even sticking to the wall.

"Brutal" Tucker says over the Comms. Jazz sways her hair and walks away as she picks up her Bat and Pulls it out of the wall. "Hood list that as number 29 of the many reasons why I shouldn't piss her off ever again." Nightwing says, "On it." Hood confirms and Sam became Visible again and Let's the two kids run to Jazz, Jazz's gaze softened and she gasps for air in relief and kisses their foreheads and hugging them tightly, Danny was silent but he cried upon realization of what almost happened, Ellie couldn't stop sobbing her eyes out and Hood Approached them casually and Just Stood beside Jazz.

"Hood should I call the police?" Sam asks and pulls out a phone, "yeahhhh, do that Manson" Hood affirms her and She nodded and dialed the Police Number. "Dan's Incoming." tucker says through the comms again and Dan destroyed the wall beside Jazz, he took was filled with adrenaline as the twins called out to him and jumped in his arms.

Jazz slowly stood up and dusting her knees and dress, "Shopping for toys turning into I beat the joker to near death for the 15th time since the month I've been here in Gotham." Jazz sighs and Dan was sobbing whilst hugging the twins.

Jazz looked at Batman who was already behind her. They talked and Batman almost asks to recruit her for her talents but Jazz refused, "I like the little bit of normalcy that's left in my life thank you." She waves the Big Bat Off. " I already retired from the Part-Vigilantism Shtick when I was 18." she blurts out, "Same" the Goth girl, possibly Gothamite Sam Manson Yawned.

Half an hour later and the Police Arrived to arrest the goons and Joker (Again), they did not fight back this time due to Jazz's Supervision, truly a terrifying woman when serious, this is why she was always fit for the job in Arkham Asylum.

Batman tried to recruit Jasmine again but she refused again, "As I said Big Bat, I don't plan to become anyone's hero again. I'm quite fine with supervising the Rogues and helping those mentally insane sentient people the comfort of understanding." She sighs softly and Sam was beside Dan who was hugging Danny and Ellie, they would arrest Dan for breaking speeding laws but for now they couldn't because of the reasons and his sister's Successful immediate apprehension of the Joker.

"He's no joker, If he himself is the Joke." Sam jokes and Dan chuckled slightly. Batman couldn't stop glancing at Dan occasionally, "B I swear to fucking Gotham Gods." Hood was judging Batman, "I am doing nothing wrong Hood." He states and Hood just groans in annoyance totally done with the Man's Antics.

"I babysit his kids, I can always set you two up—" Jason suggests but Dick Interrupts, "Hood it's not the time to suggest dating advice to B, he's not even good at Keeping a wife—" Batman shot them both a glare accompanied with a slight scowl at that comment.

Clockwork or 'Chrono' soon stopped by the location to pick up his 'Wards', Dan slowly hopped inside the car gently placing an exhaust Danny and Ellie down in the Backseat and putting them in their seatbelts, Sam also hopped in. "CW, I need to take my bike with me, I'll follow you all home okay?" Dan raises his head and looks at Clockwork and the Man nods, "Ofcourse, Master Dan, I'll also tell them that you went out to buy them something so make sure to come home with some food they'll like." Clockwork reminds him and Dan smiles.

"Ofcourse." Dan sighs in relief, "Since I stole someone's bike im also taking it home." Dan puts her helmet back on and Nodded at Jazz before driving off before Clockwork. The police started asking Jazz questions, She Was very cooperative with their questions and even came to the precinct for more questions to be answered.

"See B, you lost the chance to ask out the Big Hunk of A Family Man Mixed with Possible "I'll kill for my family" mentality." Hood lectured Batman again and Batman just Grunts in disapproval and denial. "My interest is not headed that way Hood." Batman merely hums out and patting Hood's Shoulder, Batman could feel that Hood just rolled his eyes behind his mask and Nightwing Chuckled in visible amusement, "We should head back to the cave now." Nightwing reminds them and Batman grunts in what they could only assume was an Approval to Nightwing's suggestion.

[𝙱𝚊𝚝𝙲𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝙿𝙾𝚅]

"Joker just got his ass beat live by an auntie of the two kids he kidnapped." Red Robin blurted out holding back a laugh, "And I assume it's going Viral Red?" Robin asks as he walked closer to the Bat-Computer, Red Robin bursting out laughing was enough approval that it indeed was going Viral.

"A bat.. Uncultured Choice of Weapon but it's Better than nothing." Robin states and Red Robin kept laughing before eventually he fell out of his seat. Black Bat was walking to them in confusion as she sees Red Robin on the floor, "Sane?" She asks Robin, "Yes Yes. He's sane, in his words I shall state, "Joker just got his Arse Beat" and it is now going trending and Viral with the Tags "#BeatThatClown" and "#StanningJazzMasters" which seems to be the name of the woman who put joker in a near death situation." Robin sighs as Red Robin kept Laughing.

"it's absolutely everywhere right now Cass, it's so funny, She even Told Big B that he was slow." Spoiler laughed and helped Red Robin stand up as he slowly calmed his Laughing.

"Jasmine Masters, she's an odd Individual. She works at Arkham Asylum as one of the top psychiatrists to have helped many of the asylum's population become 'normal' again to society's standards of Sanity." Robin states as he does a minor background check on the girl through another laptop.

"Perhaps The Masters Family are just full of odd and peculiar People." Robin shuts his Laptop and scrolling through the posts of Joker Memes slowly being posted one by one of the Man getting Beat Up.

"People are fascinating creatures of unhinged intellect." Robin mutters and Spoiler Scoffs, "you're talking as if you're not a 'people' as well" She rolls her eyes and Robin just huffs and glared at her. "There will be no Stabbing Master Damian." Alfred interrupts them as he placed 4 plates of snacks on the table and left promptly not before taking away Damian's knife Making Damian groan.

"Deserved." Oracle chuckled as Damian Pouted. Black Bat just Pats Damian's head to comfort him. "I am quite alright Cain, just upset that my dearest backup weapon has been compromised by Alfred." Robin huffs and Black Bat nodded at her Baby Brother's Cuteness and Childish Antics even if it is a bit dangerous.

"Their family is so weird..." Red Robin muttered doing background checks on the Masters but he dares not to go too far unlike before. "Sometimes there's nothing sometimes there's everything... It's so suspicious." Red Robin was suspecting them of being a criminal family, "Dante Is Hood's Crime Alley Father Figure as I have checked in the Past." Robin stated and The three just looked at him with the Red Robin just baffled. "The one he accidentally calls dad when on comms?" Red Robin asks completely shocked.

"Yes Drake." Robin did not elaborate any further on the statement he randomly drops on them like a bomb despite the two being Red Robin and Spoiler trying to Bribe him or Persuade him to spill he just refuses to do so.

He turns his head away and hopped off his chair and simply goes back to the Manor and ignores the two.

"I will simply not budge for anything, and if you truly wish to know more stood bothering me with your silly antics face Todd himself." Damian scoffs.

"Goddamit." Tim curses under his breathe.

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circe-butbetter · 1 month ago

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maoe rj8sthe utnro pist

seems to be a popular demand so alright☝️

Welcome to my blog cunts and bitches /lh

My name is Jana, or circe call me either idm

carrd

poly, bisexual,

Hashtag apart of @eef--stars zoo hashtag @garden-of-runar 's bat hashtag matching themes with @definitionoffuckup hashtag i need to make a pronouns page hashtag what else am i?

BIGGEST GREEN APPLE HATER ON THIS BLOCK🗣🗣💯

Decorate my tree!💞

📷 || 📍 || 🎵 || 🎧 || click for palestine ||

@garden-of-runar <3 my darling btw (if you couldnt tell)

More about me!

Interests: marauders, five nights at freddies, Greek mythology, deranged old stories, gory books or gory shows, cannibalism as a concept/metaphor, murder massacres, true crime, fun facts, outer banks, the hunger games, human rights, politics, music, shameless, arcane ,I'll add when I think of more

Dislikes: uhh lowk idk you guys tell me idk myself

Hates: GREEN FUCKING APPLES. GREEN APPLES

my people <3

@garden-of-runar my platonic partner, my sun, my poet, the melody to my kuromi, the bunny to my fox, the remus/james to my sirius, the loml (/p) ITS RUNAR GUYS RAHHH chaotic but wonderful nonetheless 💞💞💞 meeting them was a pleasure and honor🗣 andandandnad guys you need to check runar out she's a wonderful person to know (#chaotic gardens of deer and bunnies. (Check out the tag I made for him ))

@starkissed-mars UGH MARS I LOBE MARS AND I LORV TALKING TO MARS mars is lowk freakiest person I've met, one of my favorite people on here HI MARSSS HI MAZZY☝️☝️, hashtag freakymars who? Hehehehehehrh has some issues but he's so wonderful its insane EVERYONE SAY WE LOEBF TOU MARS❗️

@definitionoffuckup AL❗️❗️ AL ALLEY HI AL al is wonderful and amazing and lowkey kinda scary sometimes with absolute no sense of Internet safety but they're wonderful anyways, also one of my favorites on here I lobe al sosososo much guys you should go check them out

@eef-stars ETHANN our local furry, music taste that lowkey gives me whiplash, I'm sosososososo glad I met him and he really is fucking amazing, lowk older brother core, MAJOR LOVERBOY SYNDROME it's insanely adorable

@kawaiibarty FUCKING MASTER AT WRITING GUYS GO CHECK OUT HIS FICS THEYRE AMAZING, so deranged I'm lowk scared of him/j, JAMES IS SO POOKIE LOWK GUYS also also one of my favorites on here I'm very glad I met him he really is fantastic and that is a FACT, also major loverboy syndrome those two are so gay

@fkufather TWIN WHERE HABE YOU BEEN, guys thats js barty, no joke it's just barty, barty crouch jr who? Lowk twin, his existence strangles me from the inside out/j, your still on my blog ☹️💞

@seekmemystar UGH SO WISE, hashtag itar for president GUYSSSS ITAR IS WONDERFUL ANDANDAND she's a wonderful friend and wonderful person and has a highk amazing humour and she's someone you should 100% check out, B&B GUYS☝️☝️

@hershey-not-the-chocolate-maybe HERSHEYEYEYDHDUDB I LOBE HERSHEY THEYRE WODNERFUL AND THEY MATCH MY MORBIDNESS AND LOWK IF THEY WENT INSANE I WOULDNT BE SUPRISED? anyways guys hershey is amazing

@cheekyboybeth THE CHAPPEL TO MY OLIVIA, guys this is ugh I have no words to describe them I lobe juno sososososksosoksososos much and and I'm sosososososososos glad ive met them and and and they're literally an evan rosier variant idc but juno is lit wonderful and is a great friend and waited wonderful fics

@here-am-i-sitting-in-a-tin-can HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHR GUYS YOU DONT UNDERSTAND HOW MUCH I LOBE TALKING TI THEM, LIKE THE WAY MY FACE LIGHTS UP IN GENUINE JOU WHEENEVER I SEE THEM AROUND, bomb music taste literally amazing, they're amazing in general, everything about them is amazing, literally the embodiment of cool ™

@gasolinehornet NOAH OMG NOAH I CAN LITERALLY NEVER SHUT UP ABT NOAH, most out of pocket person I've met but I love talking with him either way, he's such a sweetheart at heart and he's a wonderful person to know, also has a bomb music taste.

@thestrawberryapologist MARI oh my god guys guysguys please you dont understand mari is the sweetest cutest person alive talking to her literally makes my day- told me she thinks she should have a tw for talking to her but i literally do not believe that she could say the most horrendous thing every and id still go 💞💞💞🎀💞 mari is so wonderful and everything about her is so wonderful and mari quite literally deserves the world (ask me to elaborate and i will) major sister vibes GUYS IDK I JUST LOBE MARI

@insertmatsbloghere UH MAT☝️☝️ GUYS a literal embodiment of sunset, literal embodiment of summer too☝️☝️ I have not known mat for a long long time but am very glad ive met him, he's a very nice person lowk and so fun to talk to and very funny guys lowklowk

@thatoneslytherinnerd bartys brain BUT ALSO SOSOSOSOS MUCH MORE THAN THAT, a wonderful person that I have not known for long but am honored to know nonetheless

@sotiredimbored KUKOOO literally the sweetest person ever ever ever kuko is amazing and kuko deserves the world handed to them on a pretty platter with a bow because you are simply that fantastic. The smell after rain tinged with the color purple and light yellow laced through it sitting in a forest filled with butterflies core.

@the-stars-drowning RORRYYY RAHHHHHHHH LIT SUCH A CUTIE PIE AND SUCH A WONDERFUL PERSON AND A FELIGHT TO BE AROUND AND TALK TO AND DO WHATEVER WITH AND ANYTHING WITH ALSO VERY COOL

@crowofthestars KAIII HELLO tortures me with green apples lowk but is such a fucking vibe. LIKE I WILL NEVER GET OVER IT THIS DUDE IS SUCH A VIBE INTERACTING IEHT KAI IS SUCH A REGRESH EVEN UF WE'RE FUGHTING OVER GREEN APPLES KAI IS AMAZING🗣🗣 we don't interact as much as I'd like and I'd love to interact with kai more lowk BUT THEYRE WONDERFUL NONTHELESS AND HAVE A BOMB TASTE IN BOOKS

TELL ME IF YOU WANNA BE ADDED OR REMOVED PLEASE❗️❗️❗️

Moodboards (will link here)

#Ties and stars☆#<<for goodnight posts #Goldfish #Hashtag freakymars #<<interactions with mars #chaotic gardens of deer and bunnies #<<FOR RUNAR #I'll add more tags as I go #Ugh this took a long time #Intro

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ego-meliorem-esse · 1 year ago

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What a thing happened! What a fantastic chain of events. A fantastic, comedic and amusing situation I've found myself in yesterday!

So I live in Zagreb, Croatia. Our country is an ex commuinst, ex yugo country with very conservative social views. We have maybe two gay clubs that are actually known publicaly. Well, one and a half but nvm.

I met almost the majority of my friends at group therapy, and clicked extremly well with a handfull of people there that now I consider my absolute best friends. Fantastic people, very funny and very fucked in the head <3

So my friend and I decided to see a local drag show yesterday because why not. I like the wigs, dancing and the gays™

We got in the club earlier to choose our seats before the whole place got too crowded. We decided to get drinks so my friend went up to the bar to see what they were serving. I watched our stuff and held the seats. My friend, who has seen the horrors beyond, comes back pale af and with a mischevious glint in her eyes saying that right opposit the bar, was our group therapy phychiatrist. That woman is a force of nature. I cannot describe or express how shocked and not surprised I was.

People in the west may not understand this, but you don't see you doctors, lawyers or any sort of authority figure just chillin in a gay bar in the Balkans.

To be fair, we all love this woman. She is a good doctor and blunt as fuck. My other friend went to an appointment and after she was done trauma dumping (sorry @bytheredmoon jebiga al jesi asddfghkl) our doctor just out of the blue asks her "Are you from the countryside?". We have no idea what that means and how she came to that conclusion BUT SHE WAS SO VERY CORRECT!

So I guess we are all so very human and gay.

#meli shitposting #meli speaks #hgfghfjgfghj i love tthis so much #like we had our suspicions abt her she did wear an opposum necklace

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deepspacedukat · 2 years ago

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Hello ✨ For your consideration: slightly tipsy Commander Shran flirting with/trying to impress you (a member of Archer's crew). Just imagine the posturing and his antennae focusing on you so much that it's obvious to literally everyone there (even the humans) that he's trying to flirt with you, despite his attempts to be subtle. 💙

Oh, nonny...I absolutely ✨H U N G E R✨ for tipsy Shran. Not the severely-compromised type of tipsy, mind you. Just enough to make him a little more bold and a little lot less subtle in his flirtations than he might normally. Lose those inhibitions, bb!

I realize this was probably not meant as a fic request, but...you’ve given me ideas that I just had to put into writing. GOD, I had so much fun writing this, I can’t even express it properly. Cross-posted to AO3 here.

~*~

One Too Many

Thy’lek Shran x Reader

[A/N: Head empty. No thoughts. Only tipsy Shran.]

Warnings: Tipsy Andorian flirting, Shran as The Least Subtle Flirt In Existence™, slightly suggestive language, pre-relationship fluff, interspecies kissing.

~*~

He was looking at me again from across the room with a glass of Andorian ale as blue as his skin half-empty in one of his hands. The tilt of his antennae was a dead giveaway to what he was thinking about - or rather who.

“He’s going to stare a hole through your clothes if he’s not careful, but who knows? Maybe that’s what he’s aiming for,” Hoshi said giving me a little nudge with her elbow. “That Andorian’s been undressing you with his eyes since the reception began, and I don’t think there are many people here tonight that haven’t caught on.”

“I hadn’t noticed.” Sarcasm laced my tone, but I didn’t hate that she was right. Somewhere along the line tonight, Shran’s casual glances in my direction had become...well...less subtle. I couldn’t help but wonder if that corresponded to how much he’d had to drink. Alcohol could even make me look good, I mused as I took a small sip of my own drink. I was still on my first of the night. After all, this was a diplomatic function. I didn’t want to make a fool of myself in front of the Andorians, the Vulcans, and the Starfleet higher-ups. Apparently, Commander Shran didn’t have the same concerns. Oh, he definitely wasn’t drunk, but he’d had a few drinks. If I had to guess, I’d have said that ‘tipsy’ was a more appropriate descriptor for the Andorian’s condition. “He’s never seen humans in anything but Starfleet uniforms before, so I’m willing to bet he’s probably just not used to my appearance.”

“Right. Because you definitely don’t look hot in that dress,” Hoshi snarked. “Shran’s about as subtle as a photon torpedo when it comes to you. He already hangs around you every time our ships meet up. Are you going to at least talk to him? I think he might self-destruct if you don’t.”

As I was thinking about how to answer her, I glanced over where he’d been standing a few moments before only to find his spot vacant. Oh. Well, that settled that.

“I guess I missed my chance,” I said finishing off the last of my drink, setting my empty glass aside, and trying not to sound as disappointed as I felt. Hoshi went to say something then broke out in a wide smile.

“I wouldn’t count on it,” she murmured, but before I could ask what she meant, somebody began tapping their glass in the seemingly-universal signal for a large group to be silent for a moment. Turning to see what was going on, I saw Commander Shran not ten feet away as the crowd began to grow quiet. Once everyone was looking at him, he exchanged his empty glass for two full glasses of Andorian ale from a passing waiter’s tray.

“Ladies, gentlemen, and others, I believe I speak for both the Andorian and Vulcan delegations when I say a sincere ‘thank you’ to our hosts for orchestrating such a lovely evening for us all,” Shran said beginning to move slowly through the crowd. “I’d like you all to join me in an Earth tradition - a toast. Please raise your glasses and have a drink with me.”

Before I could react, the Andorian stopped in front of me and offered me the second drink he’d picked up. With the whole room watching, I accepted with a quiet nod of my head. Shran lifted his glass and spoke loudly.

“To Starfleet,” he called meeting my eyes with his own before continuing, “and their most beautiful officer.”

Echoes of ‘to Starfleet’ flooded the room as everyone took sips of their drinks. My cheeks heated under his gaze as the two of us raised our glasses to our lips. Had he really just said that in front of all those people? Perhaps he’d had more to drink than I initially guessed. Once everyone else had gone back to their socializing, the Commander offered me his arm. Against my better judgment, I took it and let him lead me off to a quieter part of the room.

“It’s refreshing to see you in a more relaxed setting,” the Andorian said leaning against the wall we were standing by.

“The feeling is mutual, Commander–”

“Let’s drop the formalities, shall we? We’re not on duty, after all. You may call me Thy’lek if you wish. Or if that’s a bit too casual, Shran will do just fine,” he said bringing my hand to his lips.

“As you wish...Thy’lek,” I said as a smile curled my lips. “That was quite a toast.”

“I meant every word. Starfleet couldn’t have found a more capable officer if they tried,” he said taking a sip of his ale. My hand was still firmly in his grip, not that I was complaining.

“Oh, ‘capable’ is it? I recall you using a very different word a few minutes ago.” Lifting one of my eyebrows, I played coy hoping that he would take the bait.

“Do you? And what word do you remember in its place?” He asked narrowing his eyes with a half smirk. “Clever? Resourceful?”

“Search me. You’re the one who said it,” I teased and he pulled me a little closer. “Unless, of course, you’ve changed your opinion since your toast...?”

“Not at all,” Shran protested hurriedly, slipping his arm around my waist and pushing off from the wall all in the same movement. With his face barely a few inches from my own, I found my thoughts muddled. “I have always found you beautiful. That will never change.”

“Maybe we should go somewhere more private,” I suggested, and a low hum came from deep in Shran’s throat. “Isn’t that why you’ve been giving me so much attention tonight?”

“Perceptive. Wouldn’t Archer or Forrest have a problem with you leaving?” Shran asked even as his lust-blown pupils gave away his real feelings on the subject.

“Since this is a diplomatic function, I doubt they’d mind if I...solidified relations between our people,” I murmured in a daringly seductive tone.

“Allow me to give you an excuse,” he rasped before taking a small step back and speaking louder. “Lieutenant, would you show me around the gardens?”

Ah, such subtlety. A few people turned to look at us as I quietly acquiesced to his request. With a ridiculous flourish, the Andorian swept me out the door toward the facility’s gardens. As we wove our way through the lantern-lit topiary maze, I summoned up a bit of courage and recalled the information I’d acquired on Andorian flirting. Normally there was some sort of combat involved. I wasn’t quite willing to fight him while wearing heels. Hopefully that wouldn’t disappoint him. Then again, if he’d wanted an Andorian partner, why had he been showing interest in a human?

“Correct me if I’m wrong, but I think you might’ve had one too many drinks tonight,” I giggled as we hurried through the foliage.

“You might just be right.” Shran’s voice came out light and amused as he brought me into a small open area with a fountain and turned to face me. Setting our glasses on the fountain’s ledge, the Commander stepped closer and grasped my waist.

“So...here we are,” I murmured as I laid my hands on his shoulders and looked up into his eyes.

“Tell me now before I do or say something that might jeopardize our friendship. Have I read this situation incorrectly?” His voice was thick with emotion and lust, his breath laced with the scent of the ale we’d both consumed.

“Thy’lek...just kiss me already,” I crooned as I looped my arms around his neck. With a little smirk, the Andorian did just that, kissing me with all the passion I’d come to expect from him. He never did anything in half-measures, and this was no different. When I was breathless and held upright only by the saving grace of his arms around me, we finally separated for air, only to become aware of the sound of cheering. Curiously, we looked up at the balcony of the venue��s upper floor and saw Hoshi and Phlox applauding as they looked down at us.

“It’s about time!” My cheeks started burning at Hoshi’s shout, but before I could move away or say something in return, Shran dipped me low. A gasp tore from me despite knowing he’d never let me get hurt, and it was promptly stolen away as he kissed me again. Everything faded away except the feeling of Shran’s body against mine and the mischievous glee bubbling up in my chest at the unfolding possibilities of what being intimate with him could mean. After all, if this was how he behaved in public, who knew how he’d be in a setting that was actually private?

#deepspacedukat fic #thy'lek shran #thy'lek shran x reader #commander thy'lek shran #commander shran x reader #commander shran #fluff #tipsy andorian #hoshi and phlox ship it

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