#(sweeney is giving her serial killer eyes)

[nejackdaw]

Just watched Sweeney Todd with Bread. They get why I'm like this now

[crowdvscritic]

round up // MARCH 24

This March Round Up is one of the most media-diverse I’ve ever published. Two books! Two miniseries! One museum! One telecast! And somehow, most of them eventually come back to the same topic: movies. 

Now that the Oscars have named their 2023 victors (“My eyes see Oppenheimer!!!”), it feels like the 2024 movie year has finally started, and one major Awards Season contender is already out. (Keep reading to see if it is Kong x Godzilla!) Three of my top 10 picks this month are new films, but this brief pause between Awards Season and summer blockbusters means I have time for indulgent activities like reading books and playing Turner Classic Movies roulette on the DVR. May lulls like these between your busy seasons be just as enjoyable with these pop culture faves…

March Crowd-Pleasers

1. The Fury by Alex Michaelides (2024)

You know it’s a good book when it’s already past your bedtime, you see that you have 100 pages left, and still say, “Yeah, there’s no way I’m not finishing this tonight.” I made this my January Book of the Month because it sounded like Glass Onion: A Knives Out Mystery (my favorite movie of 2022), but this doesn’t center on a Benoit Blanc-style detective. At the center is a charming, unreliable narrator (one I kept picturing as John Mulaney) recounting the murder of a starlet (whom I kept picturing as Carole Lombard) while on vacation with her friends and family. I read 75% of this murder mystery set on a private Greek in one sitting because I couldn’t put it down!

2. Road House (2024)

Thank goodness Jake Gyllenhaal seems to be losing interest in prestige projects because he’s best when he’s a lil’ crazy. That’s just one reason this Road House is even more fun than the original. Read my full review for ZekeFilm. Crowd: 10/10 // Critic: 7/10

3. Barbie: The World Tour by Margot Robbie and Andrew Mukamal (2024)

I have referenced Barbie in almost every Round Up since it came out, and I'm not slowing down now. This new book from Margot Robbie and her stylist Andrew Mukamal catalogs each of her Barbie press tour looks inspired the doll’s historical closet, giving side-by-side comparisons the head-to-toe looks on the doll and on Robbie. With designers’ sketches and insight into how Robbie and Mukamal made their sartorial choices, it makes for a gorgeous coffee table book.

4. Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire (2024)

Big things go smash! I stopped by KMOV to chat about the newest Godzilla/Kong team-up with Joshua Ray, which won’t send you away smarter but probably in a better mood. Watch the full review. Crowd: 9/10 // Critic: 4/10

5. SNL Round Up

I’m noticing my Saturday Night Live Round Ups are shorter this year, which is probably thanks to a greener cast. But I am always rooting for Studio 8H, and these three were worth re-watching and sharing in the text thread: 

“Detectives” (4913 with Sydney Sweeney)

“Loud Table” (4913)

“Moulin Rouge” (4914 with Josh Brolin)

More March Crowd-Pleasers: Morgan Freeman, Keanu Reeves, and Rachel Weisz get caught up in a murder plot surrounding a new energy source in Chain Reaction (1996) // Before Zodiac, Kurt Russell was a Miami Journal reporter investigating a serial killer in The Mean Season (1985)

March Critic Picks

1. Art in Bloom at the St. Louis Art Museum

Every spring SLAM invites floral artists to create arrangements inspired by pieces in the museum’s collection. As always, this event inspires me to look at works I’ve seen dozens of times in new ways, and I always discover flowers that make me wish my thumbs were more verdant.

2. Dune: Part Two (2024)

Dune is weird, but I love that it hasn’t stopped it from sourcing an endless supply of memes. Even more, I love that a vision as grand as this one has taken root in pop culture, that a new crop of young actors are catapulting movie stardom into the next generation, and that this epic is as concerned with philosophy and the craft of filmmaking as much as blockbuster-style spectacle. Crowd: 8.5/10 // 9/10

3. The Sixties (2014)

And now I’ve finally finished CNN’s decade miniseries. Though these series aren’t revolutionary—The Sixties episodes include “The War in Vietnam,” “The British Invasion,” and “The Space Race”—they provide more depth and insight than a Wikipedia article with plenty of interviews and primary source footage. (And perhaps too much insight with an 85-minute episode about the JFK assassination, which is steeped in more conspiracy theories than are worth mentioning.) Each of CNN's decade series has impressed me with the connections drawn to today, and The Sixties is no exception.

4. The 96th Oscars

It’s a treat when the consensus is that the Oscars ceremony was…good? It’s been a few years since that was the popular opinion! Not only were the winners a pretty solid selection, but most of the bits worked, most of the musical performances were solid, and it finished…early? These were my favorite moments during the brisk evening:

Past Best Supporting Actress winners celebrate this year’s nominees and winner, Da’Vine Joy Randolph

Past Best Supporting Actor winners celebrate this year’s nominees and winner, Robert Downey Jr.

Past Best Actor winners celebrate this year’s nominees and winner, Cillian Murphy

Past Best Actress winners celebrate this year’s nominees and winner, Emma Stone (even though I was rooting for Lily Gladstone)

Arnold Schwarzenegger and Danny DeVito rib Michael Keaton and present Best Visual Effects to the charming Godzilla Minus One crew

John Cena demonstrates the value of our Best Costume nominees

Kate McKinnon and America Ferrera present Best Documentary (though they’re not always sure which films are fact and which are fiction)

Ryan Gosling (and many more Kens) perform “I’m Just Ken”

“My eyes see Oppenheimer!!”

5. The Power of Film (2024)

Onetime UCLA professor Howard Suber walks us through some of the most popular and memorable films in history in this new Turner Classic Movies miniseries. He explains why they’ve passed the test of time, analyzing storytelling motifs and themes like destiny, love, heroes vs. villains, and paradox. I’m still thinking about some of his insights (e.g. there are no good characters, only good character relationships), and I compiled the 275 films he uses as examples on in a Letterboxd list.

More March Critic Picks: A Letter to Three Wives (1949) is a light-on-its-feet melodrama about three women wondering which of their husbands is about to leave them // Naughty Marietta (1935) pulls off the princess-with-a-mistaken-identity rom-com trope with a dash of music // A Double Life (1947) is a killer thriller (pun intended) about the dangers of taking inspiration from Othello in real life // Before Mr. Deeds, Gary Cooper was a more earnest small town simpleton who stumbles into millions in Mr. Deeds Goes to Town (1936) // Susan Hayward more than earns her Oscar for her performance based on a semi-true story about a woman on death row in I Want to Live! (1958) // Spencer Tracy and Elizabeth Taylor didn’t make me cry like the remake does, but their relationship in Father of the Bride (1950) is still sweetly moving 70+ years later // Even if it didn’t star Rock Hudson and Lauren Bacall, Written on the Wind (1956) would still look phenomenal because it’s directed by Douglas Sirk, but thank goodness they both get to cook in his Technicolor vision

Also in March…

I chipped in on a ZekeFilm piece on the Oscar-nominated live action shorts with a paragraph about Wes Anderson’s “The Wonderful Story of Henry Sugar”

I also reviewed the perfectly pleasant Kung Fu Panda 4 for ZekeFilm…

…and for KMOV, where I also made some Oscar predictions before the big night.

Photo credits: The Fury, Barbie. Art in Bloom my own. All others IMDb.com.

[sassmill]

Absolutely nobody asked for this, but since it’s nearly October and I listen to these year round: here are some Halloween-y spooky musicals that aren’t Sweeney Todd or Addams Family or Beetlejuice. Lots of murder inbound, folks. The spectrum ranges from “this piece of art is integral to my soul” to “this is campy and fun and I sing it in my car a lot.”

1) Get Jack

To sum it up with lyrics, “he’s still most wanted, but we’ve been forgotten.” The Canonical Five women murdered by Jack the Ripper tell their stories (and then rise as specters from Hell to bring him down). Some serious guitar shredding and rock vocals on tracks like “Left Handed Wives” and “Agony in Red,” and hard-hitting emotional lyrics and performances on tracks like “Blood in Whitechapel” and “Forever Erased.” Plus, a cheeky narrator who may or may not be the Devil. Strikes the perfect balance between earned rage and overdue grieving for these victims that have been largely pushed by the wayside in the history books because of their gender and occupation—like the women of Six, they’re flipping the narrative to reclaim their own identities and agency in the story. These five women were more than just names in a rhyme.

2) Angelmakers: Songs for Female Serial Killers

This song cycle tells you its concept first thing—everyone deserves one song. Even those that have been condemned. Especially them. An examination of “feminine rage and radical empathy,” it makes no excuses for each of these eight women—these serial killers—but it dissects their lives and asks the audience to ponder: how has this world broken you down? How much have you held in? How often have you said sorry? How much have you sacrificed for peace of mind, and how much would you give to make the world bear the full brunt of your pain? It’s more than a concert or a song cycle, it is an elegy—a ritual, an offering for women we know and women we have been. We begin by acknowledging the rage we carry, the effort it takes to temper it, in “Stick the Key In.” We bear witness to the pain that the world has wrought in these women, we recognize that their circumstances are similar to so many others in the seven wildly cathartic punk rock devotionals—and I do feel that that is exactly what they are, because each song is “for” one of these women. And we end the cycle with a psalm of sorts, for all of us: “Will to Live.” It is explicitly unapologetic in the grace it grants these women, and in engaging with their trauma we can allow ourselves as women some grace as well: our pain is real, and our rage reverberates through the centuries because of this will to live despite those that try to break us because of how they’ve been broken. It gives you permission to hurt so that you can start to heal. If you listen to this one, make an evening out of it and listen to it all the way through—complete the cycle.

3)LIZZIE

Anybody who really knows me knows how close this show is to my heart. It takes the 1892 Borden ax murders and holds up a magnifying glass to the women at the center of it. Though the full history involves many, many players, this two act rock musical presents the story to us through just four: Lizzie and Emma, spinster sisters struggling under their father’s iron fist and their stepmother’s cold hearted scheming; Bridget, the family’s young Irish maid who sees and hears everything; and Alice, a neighbor and confidant who must weigh her desire to support the woman she loves against her conscience when she witnesses deceit. This work is a masterpiece of tension. In the days leading up to the murders, you can feel the stifling presence of the father and stepmother bearing down on all four women—and they aren’t physically present in the show at all. The women each play their own role in the drama they unfold—Bridget is our Greek chorus, Emma is puppet master, Alice is a light in the darkness, and Lizzie is the eye of the storm. Honestly, The Village Voice perfectly summed it up: “Lush tunes which retch sex, rage, dyke heat, misanthropy, and incest… Surreal glee and gallows humor… Finally, a rock musical you’d wanna mosh to.”

IMPORTANT: trigger warning for implications of sexual assault.

4) Lizzie Borden

Yes, there are two musicals about her. There’s also an opera by Jack Beeson and an Agnes DeMille ballet scored by Morton Gould, but that’s not why we’re here. As far as my suggestions on this list go, this 1998 treatment of the Borden murders is probably the most stylistically conventional for musical theatre (tying with Witches of Eastwick)—the weaving of dialogue with song, patter, and breadth of leitmotif call to mind Sondheim. Unlike LIZZIE, this show presents the full cast of characters involved in that fateful day and its aftermath in an inventive nonlinear fashion, splitting Lizzie into her younger self at some of its most chilling moments. The score is gorgeous, and I cannot properly stress how marvelously the leitmotifs pan out in the second act. Strikes a good balance between comedic, petty drama and the panic behind life altering tragedy—I guarantee you’ll be humming “Buttons” for at least a week after your heart stops pounding from the anxiety that builds with every measure of “So Easily.” Again, IMPORTANT: trigger warning for implied sexual assault.

5) Nevermore: the Imaginary Life and Mysterious Death of Edgar Allan Poe

Haunting and ominously playful, the show’s traveling acting troupe starts at Poe’s birth and follows his tragedies and triumphs up until the opening moments of the show—a framing device that I will always love, and it’s played off here deliciously. I don’t have a whole essay to write on this one and I have no idea how biographically accurate it is to his life, but I love listening through it on long drives—a lot of underscored dialogue, which I just happen to enjoy while driving. Maybe because I like podcasts. I don’t know. It doesn’t really warrant a trigger warning, but I can’t NOT mention that it does include his marriage to his 13 year old cousin—the dynamic portrayed is avuncular if anything, nothing predatory or unnerving, but. Yeah. Child cousin bride. Do with this what you will.

6) Ghost Quartet

Dave Malloy, my sweet, sweet baboo. I love this show so much. I talked about this show in the process portion of my thesis. And it’s really impossible to summarize the plot because it is stories inside of stories and it’s best listened to many, many times in the wind and rain. There are two sisters, an astronomer, and a bear. A soldier. A driver, a victim, a pusher, a photographer. The Fall of the House of Usher. Sheherazade, Dunyazad, and Shah Zaman. Thelonious Monk. Any kind of dead person, reincarnation, a classic murder ballad, and lots of whiskey. It’s intensely weird and equally wonderful. If you listen to the live recording from the McKittrick Hotel, dialogue is included! Better yet, Dave Malloy actually made the full production directed by Annie Tippe available to watch on his YouTube channel at the start of the pandemic.

7) The Witches of Eastwick

As far as I am concerned, John Updike doesn’t exist and the only versions of this story that matter are the movie and this musical. Three witches in a small Rhode Island town learn to be authentically themselves and enjoy their lives through some ill-advised fraternization with the devil himself (the egrets be damned). Local prophet has some tummy trouble. The “I want” songs are delicious and it is a personal goal of mine to perform “Words, Words, Words” without actually biting my tongue in the last verse. “Dirty Laundry” has all the petty 1960s housewife drama you could ask for. “I Wish I May” is a charming trio about fulfilling the dreams we had as children. “Dance with the Devil” is a straight banger. “Another Night at Darryl’s” is a lusty romp. Just, like, do yourself a favor and listen to this musical it’s so fun. John Updike stays in the penalty box for all eternity, though. I am never getting those hours of my life back.

8 ) Rebecca das Musical

Okay I KNOW that this one is literally in German but hear me out—the lovely fanbase have made so many YouTube videos of the soundtrack with English subtitles if you don’t speak German (I’m… getting there). The Daphne du Maurier novel is perfect, the Hitchcock film is perfect, and this musical is perfect. Even before I knew enough German to comprehend any of the words, I knew the storyline well enough that the music itself (it’s so expressive I swoon) made characters and plot points clear. Gothic romance that is incredibly questionable, murder, ambiguity, repressed lesbianism, scandal, a protagonist that literally doesn’t have a name—what’s not to love? Mrs. Danvers steals the show as is her god-given right, and if nothing else you should listen to the demo recording of the English language version of the title song “Rebecca” from the vanished Broadway production (whose death was just as tragic and mysterious as Rebecca de Winter’s). It’s unhinged and incredibly sapphic; everything Mrs. Danvers ought to be (Kristin Scott Thomas, I’m so sorry they gave you that sad excuse of a script you deserved so much better. When it was first released I said I liked the 2020 Netflix Rebecca but in retrospect… no). I don’t think I’m really capable of intelligent thought at this point in the list (it is now 1:26 am) but just know that I love this musical and it is helping me learn German. Why am I learning German? So I can listen to this musical. Why I am listening to this musical? So I can learn German. And the snake consumes its own tail. And I should probably go to sleep.

[devious-little-milkmaiden]

Horror/Psychological Thriller movies to get stressed out over while drinking your hot beverage of choice, in your pajamas, eyeing the closest door to make sure it doesn't creak open.

"Oh fuck I actually have to watch all of these." -Me

Crimson Peak

Two words: Jessica Chastain. What, did you think I was going to say Tom Hiddleston? Oh shit, you're right. Okay FOUR words. This movie features some truly gorgeous visuals, beautiful (historically accurate!!!) costumes, an incredibly macabre plot, and a wonderfully talented cast. Take a shot every time I use an adjective. Of water, of course.

Hush

A Netflix gem. Will make you eye that door warily.

Shutter Island

Leonardo DiCaprio is extremely confused until he's not, and in turn, I am confused. Still a good movie and psychological thriller.

I am the pretty thing that lives in the house

More drama than horror, but still good nonetheless. You should watch it purely because I had to type all of that out.

The Talented Mr. Ripley

One of my all-time favorite movies in general. Not so much a horror movie as it is Call Me By Your Name but with murder and more of a dark academic aesthetic, but still a very fun watch. (More of a psychological thriller I suppose.)

Nightcrawler

Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuggggggggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Slimy rat bastard man >:(. This movie was somewhat stressful to watch but it gives an interesting look into the seedy underbelly of Los Angeles.

Freaky

For fans of Supernatural, it has Kathryn Newton. For fans of Bette Midler, she starred in Hocus Pocus with Sarah Jessica Parker, who starred in Sex and The City with Vince Vaughn, so there you go. You're welcome. Give me money. This movie is like Freaky Friday except they substituted the fact that it is Friday for the fact that there is a serial killer in a teenage girl's body. Yikes, I could've phrased that better.

Fargo

Based off of a true story, this is the perfect movie for true crime buffs and just Minnesota in general. Marge Gunderson is a sweet pregnant police officer who loves her husband dearly, and who (somewhat) singlehandedly solves a kidnapping and murder case. It's the most comforting thriller movie I've ever seen. Just... skip the woodchipper scene if you want to keep it that way.

Sweeney Todd

A Tim Burton classic, it stars _____ _____ and Helena Bonham Carter. I don't even need to put his name there, you already know who it is based purely off of the fact that it's a Tim Burton movie. This movie is crazy and macabre and has a sweet couple o' tunes.

Sleepy Hollow

Another Tim Burton classic. It also stars _____ _____. Oh my god I just realized that a lot of people who were in Harry Potter are in Tim Burton's movies. Helena Bonham Carter, Alan Rickman, Richard Griffiths, and of course, _____ _____. This movie is another one of my all-time favorites. I would live in this movie if I could, I love the scenery so much.

Scream

One of the most iconic horror movies of all time, and for good reason. I laughed out loud at some of the jokes. This movie was a lot of fun to watch. When I was at work today all I could think about was that scene in the movie store. Oh Randy...

Scream 2

Courteney Cox's hair is its own character. Oh Randy...

Frankenstein

A classic Tinseltown Terrifier. A bit slow, but good if you just wanna chill out and accidentally fall asleep on the couch.

Dracula

Another Tinseltown Terrifier. I think Bauhaus said it best with their unnecessarily 9-minute song titled Bela Lugosi's Dead. Bela Lugosi is, in fact, dead. I think.

American Psycho

Learning that Christian Bale is a method actor is utterly terrifying considering just how scary his character is in this movie.

The Birds

Scary 60's Alfred Hitchcock. As someone who is somewhat terrified of birds, I give this movie a thumbs up because I'm scared of what will happen otherwise.

Dark Shadows

Another Tim Burton film starring _____ _____ and HBC. I'm too much of a douche to write out Helena Bonham Carter. It's funny and Chloe Grace Moretz is there too.

[jaceyneedsabetterusername]

KILL4ME

Pairings: Johnny Depp x Reader (and kind of x female!OC but that’s not the main focus of anything) 

Summary: You're a new actress trying to get your start. You end up getting your first role cast in a music video for Marilyn Manson’s “KILL4ME” music video but it turns out to be much more than you expected. 

Warnings: SMUT (male x female, female x female) 

A/N: 1) I made the reader straight with no prior female x female experiences. I don’t know why if I’m being honest but that’s how it is so please don’t come at me for it. 2) This is NOT how the film industry should work. If you’re trying to get into the industry, please stay safe, be responsible, and recognize red flags. Typically, randomly popping up pornographic requests is NOT professional or safe. This is just a fantasy I had while watching the music video and was written this way strictly for entertainment purposes. 

Word Count: 5696

__________________________

This project requires nudity and sexual scenes. If you are not comfortable, do not apply. 

The warning had been clear as day and yet, here you were, sitting in your car at the old mansion that was the filming site, nerves going off the charts and feeling less than comfortable with the imminent nudity and sexual scenes. You were an actor, you reminded yourself. This was the only job you’d landed since arriving in Los Angeles and, despite your promises to yourself and your family that you wouldn’t resort to full nudity for a project, there were bills that needed paying and your waitressing job wasn’t cutting it. 

Besides, shouldn’t you be thrilled? This wasn’t just any music video you’d landed a role in but a music video for Marilyn Manson! He was a goth rock legend and you couldn’t hide your excitement when you’d found out who you’d been booked to work for.

But still, the nudity and sexuality made you uneasy. There hadn’t been a script or anything. Your only instructions were to come looking your best and with an open, ready to work mindset. So here you were, physically feeling like a million bucks but butterflies going crazy within. 

Inhaling a deep, calming breath, you opened the door to your barely working 2008 Honda Civic, feeling even more self-conscious when you saw the other cars that were parked outside of the massive mansion were all beautiful and sleek, most of them black and very expensive looking. 

Crew members stirred around outside, entering and exiting the house with lights and props and sound equipment, everything needed for the production. You walked through the large black door that led into the beautiful white mansion, opening into an equally fantastic interior. You audibly gasped, “This is beautiful…” 

“Y/N?” A woman’s voice questioned from beside you and you spun quickly to face her, snapping out of your amazed daze. 

“Yes.” You answered hastily. 

She checked the clipboard in her hand, “Great, you’re right on time. Come right this way, we’re gonna get you into hair and makeup.” You were about to reply when she’d taken off down the hall without giving you a moment to speak so you followed, avoiding the moving equipment around you. 

Before you knew it, you’d been whisked away into a small room that was full of makeup, hair styling tools, and costumes. Nobody told you what they were doing as they pulled your hair straight and did up your makeup, surprisingly simpler than you’d expected with just light eyeshadow and moderate eyeliner. 

“Alrighty, now I’m gonna have you undress and put on that robe over there.” The man in charge of costumes directed. 

Your brows furrowed, “How undressed?” 

“All the way, sweetie. No panties, no bra. It’s all gotta go.” He must have seen the uneasy look on your face because he gave you an unsympathetic shrug, “You signed up for a nude project, hun. Welcome to Hollywood.” 

**

“Y/N is here. I believe that’s it, Mr. Manson.” The same woman as earlier announced as you entered the room you were supposed to be briefed in. It took everything in your power to remain professional when you saw Marilyn Manson standing there, talking casually with another girl who you assumed to be a co-star.

Like you, his makeup was already done up and he was in full costume. His face was painted pale white with a black loop drawn across one half and his other half blank except for the unnaturally blue contact and dark panda-like eyeliner.  His lips were stained bright red and you almost felt like you were looking at a picture of him online. 

“Thank you, Yolanda.” None other than The Marilyn Manson (and yes, “The” was now an official part of his name in your mind) thanked the woman who you assumed to be an assistant. “Come on in, Y/N.” He beckoned you into the room and you tried to front your most professional, most confident face but the way you held your robe tight to your body gave you away. 

“It’s nice to meet you, Mr. Manson.” You came up, reaching to shake his hand, “It’s a real honor to get to work with you.” Kiss ass, you muttered to yourself. 

Instead of shaking your hand, he simply waved his hand in the air, “Ah, the pleasantries. I hope it will be a pleasure to work with you as well.” 

You retracted your extended hand awkwardly, unsure of whether or not that was a blow off or him just being mysterious and cool, and scuttled to stand with the other girl. She was beautiful and blonde, tall and thin. Model-esque. You felt insecure next to her, especially in front of someone as influential as Manson. You were just you, an inexperienced actress-to-be, on her first professional job with a bunch of people who definitely knew their way around a camera. 

“Alright, so I know you came here with minimal details,” Marilyn began, a weirdly neutral look on his very painted face, his tone flat and low. It was hard to read him with his contacts in. “Hopefully, that’s a good sign this will work well. You’re both willing to take risks. You’re flexible. Well, I’m here to give you the details. As you know, there is nudity and sex required for this video. It will be between you two,” You stiffened up awkwardly as he gestured all too casually between the two of you, “And my old friend here.” 

On cue, none other than Johnny Depp walked into the room. Your jaw visibly hit the floor. There is no fucking way. “Hello.” He greeted with a smile, the same smile that you’d seen millions of times in his movies that you’d binged every so often. 

Were you the only one feeling so shocked? Why the hell was the actress next to you so calm? Why was Johnny so calm? You were about pretend to fuck Johnny fucking Depp! 

Johnny stepped forward to shake your hand, “I’m Johnny, nice to meet you,” He introduced politely. 

Starstruck, you took his hand, “Y/N. It’s nice to meet you as well.” Then he leaned down and kissed your hand, actually kissed your hand like a fucking gentleman, eyes never leaving yours. God, the way he looked up at you through his strands of middle parted 90’s hair… it was enough to make your breath catch. 

Slowly, almost reluctantly, he moved from you to the girl next to you, “I’m Marie.” She responded to his introduction politely. He brought her hand to his lips as well but, maybe you were crazy - just imagining some fantasy, but it felt detached and fast when he did it to her. 

“Great, well now that we all know each other,” Marilyn interjected as Johnny moved back to stand by his friend, “I’ll continue. I’ve already shot my parts so I’ll be here to direct you if needed but I want this as natural as possible. Aside from a few artistic shots, I need this to be raw, primal, and absolutely fucking filthy.” 

You and Marie listened on in intent silence, soaking in his every word. But you found it hard to focus when, out of the corner of your eye, you saw Johnny eyeing you. No, no, it couldn’t be. He was probably just zoned out behind you. 

*** 

A few hours later, all of the artistic shots had been done. There were shots of you pulling up thigh high stockings that clipped onto the garter belts hanging from your nearly sheer black underwear and having a leather corset tightened tightly on your back, cinching your waist smaller than you’d ever seen it. You had put on massively high heels and large, luxurious costume jewelry. 

Even though the outfit could be seen as objectifying, you’d never felt more confident or powerful in your life. After your last shot of just your nearly bare thighs, you were dismissed momentarily so Marie could film her sections. 

You walked over to your bag and took out a water bottle, not realizing how much this took out of you, running the same seemingly simple shots over and over again under blaring lights. “How long have you been acting?” 

Oh God. It was him. 

You turned to see Johnny standing next to you, very close, much closer than was considered polite distance but not so close that you felt suffocated. He looked gorgeous, hair hanging perfect from his beautiful tan skin. Earrings hung from his lobes, dangling just slightly. His white button up shirt was only buttoned half way, showing off his smooth, toned chest that barely showed any signs of his older age (not that he was ancient but he was definitely on your list of celebrities over 45 that you would let rail you). But the cherry on top was the eyeliner. The fucking eyeliner. It took you back to so many of his characters that you’d fallen in love with but with the white shirt and earrings, you were getting almost a refined Jack Sparrow crossed with Sweeney Todd feeling and God you’d never been so turned on by a pirate/ serial killer. 

“You okay?” He asked, and you blinked rapidly, totally horrified that you’d been staring. 

“Oh! Sorry! Um, this is my first real shoot, actually. You know how Hollywood is…” You chuckled awkwardly, reaching your hand around to rub your neck. Of course, he knew how Hollywood was, stupid! You cursed yourself, hoping you didn’t sound as dumb as you felt. 

He leaned a hand up against the wall, “Yeah, I know how that is. But don’t worry, this is a great place to start.” He reassured, looking away at the set oh so casually. Your eyes trailed up his arm that had planted itself just beside you on the wall. Was he really doing what you thought he was doing? 

No! He was Johnny Depp. He could have whichever woman he wanted at the bat of an eyelash. Why would he want you? 

“Y/N! We’re ready for your scene with Marie!” The director called to you from behind the camera and you perked up. 

“I better go.” You nodded over to the set, walking away awkwardly, almost scared that you be perceived as rude for having to do your job. 

He chuckled and waved you on. This made you blush bright red and turn to run off to set. 

You found yourself directed to a bed, “All right,” The director began, Marilyn standing directly next to him, hand on his chin as he watched his vision be brought to life, “Now, first, we’re going to get shots of you making out. I need it hot, I need it passionate. I don’t care if you’ve never kissed a girl before, make it look like you have. Next, we’re going to do totally nude shots of you grinding.” 

Your eyelids fluttered slightly in shock at what he said. Okay, you could do that, you hyped yourself up. 

Before you knew it, you were lying on the bed, Marie on top of you. Her soft lips were against yours and her nails raked gently down your throat, sending shocks down your body. Even though you were acting, it was hard to separate the feelings that arose, regardless of your sexuality. It had been a long time since anyone had touched you like this. Your hands tangled in her hair and your eyes were screwed shut.

“Cut!” The director yelled and Marie immediately pulled back, snapping out of character and back into her over-professional attitude. You, on the other hand, needed a brief moment to pull out of character. After just a second, you pushed yourself up onto your elbows, Marie still straddling you. Your breasts filled the tight push up bra you wore but you felt surprisingly comfortable in it, even around all these people. That was, until you glanced over to see Johnny standing beside Marilyn, at first looking at a monitor and reviewing footage, but then over at you, his gaze stuck on your accentuated chest. 

Your face flushed red as you quickly looked away, not seeing the amused smirk that graced his face. Little did you know, he was very aware of what he was doing and very pleased with your reaction.  

“That was perfect. Now we’re gonna move onto the sex scenes.” He waved you and Marie over and you obeyed once she climbed off your torso.

Marilyn and Johnny too came over, completing the small group. Marilyn spoke, “Now you knew there was sex and nudity and I’m very pleased with how this is turning out,” He paused, giving you both a very serious look, “But now, I’m going to ask something of you that you probably aren’t comfortable with. Usually with sex scenes, there’s fabric in place to hide cocks and shit but I don’t want any of that. It distracts actors from the scene and there’s always the issue of whether or not you see it. I want raw, I want primal, I want absolutely fucking filthy.” 

He was quiet for a moment, waiting for you and Marie to piece together his request, but filling in the rest when he saw both of your professional exteriors crack in confusion, “I want you to all actually fuck. Only if you’re comfortable with it but if you’re not you’ll be paid for the work you’ve done and we’ll find someone to replace you.” 

You nearly choked, “Like… porn? You want this to be porn?” Johnny chuckled to himself, seeing your embarrassed, nervous reaction. You were so cute. 

He looked pensive for just a moment  before nodding, “Yeah, I suppose so.” He answered bluntly, “Like I said, only if you’re comfortable with it but, if not, you’ll be fired for the rest of the video.” 

Oh God, were you really about to agree to porn? Like actual fucking porn? Three way porn at that! But three porn with Johnny Depp…. It was the one thing you told yourself you wouldn’t do. But then again, your rent was due in two weeks and you were $300 short. “I’m in.” You answered, almost regretting it immediately. 

“Me too.” Marie agreed, long arms crossed across her chest. 

“Good. Now let’s get to it.” 

** 

The lesbian sex scene had gone by relatively hitch free, save for a few awkward placement issues. Marie, being straight as an arrow, had no clue what she was doing, and you too were inexperienced in the department but with a little direction, the scene was finished. 

She knelt on her knees, holding your naked hips up and grinding your bare core against her own. Your eyes were closed, trying to remember every previous sexual encounter and porno you’d seen to try and make the sexiest faces and the sexiest form.

Johnny couldn’t take his eyes off you as you writhed on the bed, completely naked and grinding up against another beautiful woman. Everything about you looked so authentic but innocent but dirty. He found himself craving you in the most unprofessional ways as he watched your breasts bounce with every roll of your hips. 

When the scene was over, you nearly jumped off the bed and rushed for your robe. You were embarrassingly wet right now, the eye contact you’d made with Johnny while having your clit rubbed was just absolutely intoxicating and you were just thankful that you were able to control yourself enough to not get your juices all over Marie. 

As they changed the scene around, you stood beside Johnny and Marilyn. “Method actor?” He asked. 

You cocked an eyebrow, “What do you mean?” 

“You looked pretty into the scene up there. Wonder what you were thinking about…” He continued. Your heart was in your throat. His tone was dark and sultry and implied exactly what he thought you were thinking about and boy was he correct. “As a method actor myself, I completely understand your… position.” 

Johnny looked down at you, his dark eyes unyielding as he dove into your very soul and could see you every fantasy. 

“Okay! Everyone on set!” 

** 

Ignore the cameras, you screamed at yourself. You’re not doing porn, you’re just having a threesome with Johnny Depp and some girl named Marie. Yeah, that was a convincing story to tell yourself. Just relax in this totally normal situation. Pfft, as if. 

But you were an actress. Then something occurred to you, the ghost of a voice spoke to you. It was actually words spoken by Johnny in an old interview you’d seen him do, words that had stuck with you as a foundation in your training: “The most important thing that an actor needs to do is not to act, but to react. That's what it is all about, and you do one of the most difficult things in the world, which is to just be--to be in the state of being.”

Just relax. React to the scene. Be in the scene. Hell, this wasn’t even a scene anymore. This was a secret fantasy you’d never known you’d had coming to life. There wasn’t even any acting involved. So just be. 

“Action!” 

Immediately in character, you caressed Marie sexually, hands running along her sides as you nipped along her neck. Now that you were the dominant character, her scantily clad body was putty in your hands. Your teeth raked along her skin and you felt her shudder beneath your touch, brushing her long blonde hair over her shoulder. 

Then a quiet metallic sound drew your attention. You and Marie both looked over towards the ornate door to see Johnny standing there, looking in through the gold grated peephole. 

Marie looked at you, her eyes full of question. Should you let him in? Honestly, you weren’t sure if your characters knew who he was. No! Stop, you’re not playing a character now. You’re you. You are the character. 

You chewed your lip seductively and walked over, legs crossing and hips rocking as your heels clicked on the hardwood floor. You reached down, perfectly manicured fingers gripping the handle delicately and unlocked the door. Before he could even get ahold of his surroundings, you had him by the collar and pulled him in. He could play all the sexy flirty games he wanted, but right now, you were in control and you were going to make him want you more than anything, even if it all was just for the camera. 

His hands found your hips immediately as he attempted to steady himself but, gosh, all he wanted to do was take you here and now, preferably without Marie or the cameras, but he figured that if that’s what it took to fuck you, he was more than willing to compromise. 

You pulled him in, your lips finally crashing against his. At first, he was hesitant but only for half a second, before he returned the kiss with even more fervor than you’d gone in with. Marie came up on his side and nibbled his ear, hands roaming up and down his chest between your very close bodies. 

Johnny pulled back from this kiss and twisted just enough to snake an arm around Marie’s thin body and led her to face you. Then his hands came to firmly hold the back of each of your necks and forced your faces together, pressing you and the other woman to kiss. You both complied obediently, a strange mix of submissively and dominantly, like you were submitting to him but then fighting between the two of you. 

Her lips moved graciously against yours, smooth and soft. It was so much more different than kissing a man. This felt delicate still despite the absolute filth that was ensuing. Her hand shot out to hold you by the jaw and pulled you in roughly, Johnny’s hand almost not needing to do anything. 

He watched in amazement as the two of you obeyed his every physical command, the way you both looked so lost in each other. He knew you were straight just by interacting with you earlier but you could have had him fooled now. 

This wasn’t the first time he’d been in threeway with two other girls but this was definitely the hottest one. Before, it was all just to see if he could pull it off and then just to have the novelty of having girls bend to his will but this was different. You were different. He couldn't really explain it but he was completely enamored by you. An air of innocence surrounded you from the moment he set eyes on your otherworldly beauty but the saw in your eyes a fire that burned with the ability to be more than that. He was determined to see just how hot that fire burned. 

He pulled you and Marie apart before bringing her to kiss him. While he did, his free hand absentmindedly groped your chest, your breasts spilling from the top of your push up bra. A twinge of jealousy went through you as you watched them kiss, although you knew how irrational it was. They were actors. You were too. There was nothing personal about this. But, for some unexplainable, unprofessional reason, there was for you. 

You slinked behind the older man like a cat and ran your fingertips ever so gently across his closed shoulders and down his biceps. They trailed down his sides as his body moved from the intense makeout session with Marie before coming around to tease over his growing bulge. In his black well fitting pants. 

His body tensed ever so slightly, barely noticeable except to you two, when your hand made contact with his erection. You smirked to yourself, a dark, sexy smile, the kind of smile you’d expect to see in a twisted Tim Burton film. You were finally the mysterious gothic beauty you’d always imagined yourself as in all of his stories. 

With swift fingerwork and a quick, almost too skilled, flick of your wrist, you had Johnny’s belt whipped off him and held firmly in your hands. He pulled Marie off of him and shoved her roughly onto the bed, undoing the buttons of his shirt as you walked in circles around him, trailing your gaze up and down his perfect body and dragging the leather of his belt on his torso and thighs as you did so. 

The way you looked at him, like a lioness about to devour her prey, made Johnny feel like he was on fire. You seemed so in control and confident and you had a way of touching him, as if you knew exactly what made him tick. It was intoxicating. 

His shirt was unbuttoned in a matter of seconds and without warning, he had you pressed back against the mattress as well. He crawled over your body, rolling his hips just right against your clothed core. A small, quiet whisper of a moan escaped your lips at the sudden, well placed contact. 

Your hands tangled into his hair as you pulled him down to you, forcing his head into your neck. He kissed and sucked and nipped and licked just right, like he had a map to your body. You were embarrassingly wet from just kissing and you secretly prayed that nobody noticed but you were too lost in the moment to do anything about it. 

Your leg wrapped around his waist and pulled him into you again. “Fuck…” His voice was a raspy, low whisper, said just loud enough for you three to hear. 

Johnny kissed down your neck and across your breasts, moving over to Marie’s chest, which he dove into with full force. She squirmed and moaned beside you as he assaulted her perfect breasts. You rolled over as far as you could and caught her lips in yours, swallowing her moans. 

That was, until Johnny’s hand trailed down to rub your core. You gasped into Marie’s full lips and rolled your hips into his hand, begging for more. Suddenly, he sat back onto his heels and grabbed your hips roughly, flipping you over onto all fours like he’d done it a million times before. “Ah!” You squealed slightly at the sudden action. 

He climbed off the bed and knelt just behind you, palms rubbing over your ass and admiring every inch of you. Marie adjusted to sit just in front of you, legs spread to reveal her bare vagina before you. You weren’t sure when she’d lost her underwear but low and behold here you were face to face with all she had to bear. You’d never eaten a girl out before but you’d seen enough porn and fooled around with yourself enough to know what might work as a good start. 

Cautiously, you started a few kitten licks to her clit, noticing every flinch or shudder that left her lips. Just as you began to get the hang of it, there was a loud rip as you felt the fabric of your panties be literally torn from your body. You gasped loudly, looking back behind you to see Johnny with his tongue between his teeth, admiring your body. 

Johnny ran his surprisingly soft hands up and down your ass before dragging his fingertips through your already dripping folds. You moaned against Marie’s clit, her hands pulling on your hair, as his fingers circled your clit. You pressed your hips back against him, begging for more, and he was more than happy to oblige. 

Before you knew it, the three of you were a tangle of limbs. At all times, you were being touched by someone, whether it was groping your chest, your ass, or your pussy, but it was always a game trying to figure out who it was. The heat was becoming unbearable and you were grateful for the lack of clothing. Your body was slicked in sweat, both yours and Johnny’s mostly. 

He’d taken a clear preference to you and you almost felt bad for Marie but you didn’t feel too bad, seeing as how your lifelong fantasies were coming true. When someone was touching you, it was almost always Johnny, although he didn’t let his bias completely ruin the shot. He was a professional after all. 

Soon, after at least ten minutes of blind fingering and hand jobs, you found yourself straddling Johnny as he lied naked on the bed. This was it, the moment you actually had sex with Johnny Depp. He held his large erection in one hand, guiding it to your entrance and then moved his hands to grip your hips tightly, lowering you down onto this length. 

“Oh my… fuck-” You hissed out, throwing your head back as you adjusted to him. You’d never felt so full before, so complete. Without even moving, he made you feel absolutely incredible. 

He chuckled sexily below you, loving your reaction. This whole scene had been a game with you, fighting for who was seducing who, who was in charge, but here he was finally proving it was him. 

You steadied yourself on his chest, soft hands splayed out against his surprisingly taught, tattooed skin. To look at him like this, you never would have guessed how much older he was than you. He could pass for a very handsome man in his thirties easily. 

You swiveled your hips experimentally and clenched your walls around his cock. Johnny sucked in a sharp breath as his fingertips dug harshly into your skin, sure to leave little bruises in their place. You looked down and locked eye contact with him through your long eyelashes, your hair disheveled and hanging in your face sexily, as you squeezed your muscles around him yet again and moved your hips. 

“Fucking hell.” He groaned out beautifully, short nails digging crescents into your skin. His grip moved to cup your ass cheeks from below, grabbing them firmly and moving you up and down until you found a pace that worked for both of you. 

Marie lied on the bed beside Johnny, one leg strewn across his chest and the other behind your bouncing body, as she toyed with her clit with one hand and fingered herself with the other. 

You reached down to play with her breasts, pinching and rolling her nipples between your soft fingertips but the action was half hearted at best. All you could focus on was how Johnny felt inside you, hitting all the right spots. How you had him at your will just as much as you were at his. His hair was strewn around his face on the pillows like a damn god, his eyeliner smeared every so slightly from the sweat. His eyes screwed shut every now and then but otherwise, he looked at you like no other man had ever looked at you before. 

He reached between your bodies and found your clit, rubbing it in small, tight circles. Your walls began to clench uncontrollably as you felt your orgasm nearing. Your back arched as you leaned back, moving your hands to rest on his thighs as you rose and fell on his length. Marie leaned down, attaching her lips to your perked nipples and biting one gently, licking over the skin to soothe it before doing it again. 

Johnny reached down to finger her roughly as she ravaged your breasts. You continued to bounce, the new angle hitting that perfect spot inside you. “I’m gonna-” Marie whined out, her voice high and seductive. 

You nodded quickly, eyes screwed shut, “Me too!” You exclaimed, trying with all your might to stave off your orgasm for as long as possible but the pleasure was just building up too much. 

“Cum for me.” Johnny demanded from both of you and that was all it took for you to crash over the edge. Hot flashes stroke across your body in electric waves as your body failed to keep moving. He continued to lift your body for you, helping you ride out your high but his fingers dug tightly into your skin when your walls spasmed uncontrollably around him. 

“Fuck!” Marie whined out, her legs shaking against Johnny’s body as she came. 

You reluctantly rolled off Johnny’s body when you felt him lift you off and rested off to the side, breathing heavily while you recovered. He got up onto his knees next to you and stroked himself quickly, aggressively, using your slick to glide his hand across his erection, before painting Marie’s body in white ribbons. 

“And cut!” The director’s voice yelled out, harshly returning you from your daydream. Your eyes suddenly snapped as wide as a deer caught in headlights as the studio lights flicked on around you and the crew was visible again. The reality of everything came crashing down on you. Shit, that wasn’t some secret fantasy in your head. That was a pornographic threesome with Johnny Depp and some woman named Marie! 

You glanced over to the more experienced actress and breathed out a sigh of relief to see her looking the same way you did, completely shocked and a little disappointed at what you’d agreed to, but too pleased and amazed at what you’d just done to care too much before. 

Johnny, on the other hand, looked like he was already recovering with a cool exterior. He’d already begun climbing off the bed to get his clothes back on, leaving you and Marie alone on the bed to register what had happened. 

“Fuck me, that was hot.” Marilyn stepped onto the set, completely comfortable and practically ignoring the fact that he’d just watched his best friend fuck two women. You blushed a bright red. Great, you forgot that Marilyn Manson now would have the image of you fucking in his memories for forever. Not exactly the impression you typically went for in Hollywood… Or was it? 

The director watched over the footage, “They looked like they were enjoying themselves a little too much.” He snorted, pointing out something on the screen to Marilyn and you just prayed that it wasn’t a funny face you made in the heat of the moment. 

Marilyn waved him off, “No such thing as too much fun with sex, Paul.”  

Even though the crew were all doing their various jobs, you were convinced that every eye was on you. WIth a beet red face, you slinked out of the bed, hands covering your breasts and keeping your thighs as close together as you could, trying to shield your nudity from the room. It wasn’t that you were ashamed of your body, it was just the feeling of being so exposed to a room full of strangers that made the blood rush to your face. 

You rushed around, trying to pick up whatever small scrap of clothing you could identify as yours. On the ground, beside the bed, was a crumpled heap of thin stringy black fabric. Your underwear! “Thank God!” You murmured to yourself, bending down to pick it up, only to have it fall in two, rendered unwearable. 

Your face dropped when you saw it and sighed, starting to become more comfortable in your naked skin but more so because you had no other choice at the moment. Could you even request clothing from the crew? Where did your actual clothes end up? Why did you even think that was a ridiculous request to want your clothes back? 

Just as you dropped the shredded underwear, ready to find a crew member and get your clothes back, you heard Johnny chuckle, low and sexy behind you, “You’re a great method actor,” He complimented with a wink and slight smirk, knowing damn well what he meant, the nonchalance of his entire being making you dumbfounded, “Perhaps, we could do this again under less professional circumstances.” 

And with the invitation, said in the most casual way - as if inviting you for coffee, he pushed the last button through the loop of his pristine white button up, and walked to find his best friend, leaving you standing on set, naked, clutching the underwear he’d literally ripped from your body just minutes earlier, eyes on his majestic figure and trying to comprehend what the fuck just happened. 

[knives-out20]

Mistake -  Bobby & The Buddies

Fandom: Once Upon A Time In Hollywood (2019)

Pairings: Bobby Brightside (OC) x Cliff Booth, StarBeep, DeepSpace, Platonic!Geep,

Warnings: Swearing, Faggotry, Probably sad, The end is here, Unrealistic timeskipping because Cliff hasn’t physically changed much,

Notes: Finally, the KISS & The Buddies crossover finale is here! We can get back to normal form hereon after, woo! There may or may not be minor references to this series in future Clobby oneshots, but overall, this is it. Ramon Valdovinos is my newest OUATIC OC; faceclaimed by young Benicio Del Toro, he’s The Buddies’ manager. Enjoy!

Bobby poked the inside of his cheek with his tongue as he, Cliff, and the Buddies looked up at the tall members of KISS. 

For what was probably the last time- ever, or for now, was beyond him. He didn’t wanna think about it.

As long as no one insinuated the first idea (ever) to Beep and Deep, he ought to be fine. 

Bobby felt Cliff put his hand on his shoulder, the man’s touch alone helping him through whatever life was. He looked up at Starchild. “So...this is it, huh?” Bobby rhetorically asked.

Starchild tilted his head from side to side. “For the most part. With our diverging schedules and plans for our bands, we can’t take your band on tour with us. And you can’t take us with you. Besides, you weren’t gonna be our openers forever. The Buddies were bound to get separate attention sooner or later.”

Maria nodded a bit. “Fun while it lasted, though. Didn’t think the seventies could’ve been any better if our bands hadn’t crossed paths.”

“We think so, too” Gene grunted. “That’s one thing we thanked Peter for, before...y’know...”

Maria hummed in understanding, rubbing Frankie’s back.

“You sure we can’t take you guys to Australia with us?” Eric Carr, the new drummer for KISS, spoke up.

Bobby scoffed. “Ramon thinks it’s best for us to start small and work our way up. Around California, then the USA, the continent, and make our way up to a world tour” he explained.

“We’re- We’re not, like, shaming you for jumping onto a world tour, though.” Frankie held his hand sup.

“Fuck knows you guys deserve it” Peep added, eyes shining despite their dark colour.

“Thank you” Starchild smiled.

Cliff had both his hands on Bobby’s shoulders, massaging gently. “Would it make sense to thank you guys for letting Bobby’s band open for you guys these past years...?” He asked. “They were decently popular before you guys, and I feel that you kinda pushed that forward to be even more-so.”

 Starchild nodded, “it kinda would- you’re welcome.”

Bobby glanced up at Cliff, hiding a smile behind Bobby’s brown hair.

Beep, Ace, and Deep had been quiet thus far. Which was new; Ace never shut up whether it be laughing or talking, and Beep ‘n’ Deep were usually the most talkative two in the band.

Beep had his hands behind his back, feet shuffling and shifting in dead silence.

Ace picked at his costume, occasionally patting down his hair and looking up at the ceiling.

Deep held his left upper arm with his right hand, eyes glued down to his beat-up shoes.

The two bands dispersed into their own groups, Beep and Deep separately standing by themselves.

Ace approached Deep, “hey.”

Deep glanced up at him. “Hey.”

Ace cooed softly, using a finger to tilt Deep’s head up. “It’s a wonder how I’m still somehow taller than ya, huh?”

“Man-” Deep swatted his hand away, fighting back a smile. “Shut up.”

Ace trailed his hand down to Deep’s left upper arm, thumb stroking the tattoo he had gotten years back. “I can’t sneak you into any of my luggage, can I?”

“Wish y’could. But I got a double-life here, with the comedy and the band.”

“Yea, I know. I’ll ring your line, though. Through calls and letters and whatever else I can do....a mail carrier pigeon?”

Deep snorted, “you’re unbelievable.”

“Like I haven’t heard you say that enough times already.”

Deep looked up at Ace, gulping.

The corner of Ace’s lips twitched up into a slight, sad grin. “I’ll miss you while we’re down ‘n’ out ‘n’ wherever.”

“I’ll miss you too...What’s gonna happen to us?”

Ace sucked his teeth, emotions unable to hide behind his ghostly-coloured makeup. “No clue, but we’ll manage. Can’t be that hard if we keep in contact like I said earlier.”

“I guess.”

Ace clenched his jaw, thinking of what to say next.

“Think your hair will grow back next time I see ya?”

He giggled, reaching a hand up to feel his now-shorter hair. “Hope so. I know how much you like it long so you could-”

“Ace.”

“I’m joking” Ace winked playfully. “We’ll see. Think you can get it that long?”

“Never in a million years!”

Ace laughed, clapping his hands together.

The only sight Deep could ever want to see, the only one he needed. His finger traced the tattoo on his arm, it was of 'Frehley Forever’ in Ace’s handwriting.

“I’ll see you in time for your birthday, though. In November?”

“Yea.”

“I’ll see you in November” Ace chirped in a sing-song voice, earning an airy chuckle from Deep. “If not, I’ll send some stuff back to ya, a few gifts, maybe. If we’re in Australia still, maybe a kangaroo.”

Deep laughed.

Ace smiled in adoration as he leaned in, softly kissing over the tattoo on Deep’s arm before kissing Deep’s lips themselves. “Love you, Derek.”

“Love you too.” Deep mumbled, his airy chuckle turning into a typical laugh when Ace did what he always did; ruffle Deep’s hair.

Starchild and Beep looked away from the two, and back at one another. 

Beep looked up at Starchild twitching. “Y’gonna miss my tics when you’re away?” He joked.

“More than anything” Starchild played along, Beep’s eyes trailing the outline of the black star around his eye. “I’ll miss you more, in and of itself. Shame you’re not short enough to fit in my jacket and come along with us, eh?”

Beep chortled. “First time I’m too tall for something, I’ll say.”

Starchild cupped Beep’s cheek, soft to the touch. “I’ll try keepin’ in touch. I won’t give up on us if you won’t. But as the Bobby of this band-” the two shared a giggle, “I’ll most likely be distant, literally. It’ll be busy.”

“I never could.” Beep assured him, hands interlocking with Starchild’s bigger ones and giving them quick squeezes. “See if Gene can send over free KISS merchandise” he sarcastically recommended.

“I’ll think about it” Starchild winked. He pulled Beep closer, fingers tracing down Beep’s neck. “I’ll be hot blooded f’you” Starchild referenced.

Beep felt his face flush, knowing what he was referencing.

“Check it and see?”

Beep kissed his teeth, dragging his tongue across his teeth. “I’ve got a fever of a hundred and three.”

Starchild grinned, bringing Beep’s hand up to kiss it, imprinting it with a red lipstick stain.

One Beep wishes he could keep forever. He gestured for Starchild to lean down, pulling him in to imprint the red lipstick over his own lips.

Peep slunk over to Gene, looking all the way up a him. “Gene.” She bowed.

Gene exhaled through his nose. “Peep.” He returned, bowing a bit.

“If you’re gone, who’s gonna protect me from secret serial killers?” Peep inquired.

Gene groaned, shaking his head. “I’m sure your brothers can manage” he shrugged.

“Benji and Derek? Wow, you sure have higher hopes for them, don’t’cha?”

“I don’t see in ‘em what Starchild and Ace see, but, yes.”

“Well, course you don’t. What Starchild and Ace see in ‘em is what you see in Dolly” Peep reminded, though it wasn’t something Gene needed reminding of.

“Y’got that right” Gene nodded. “That aside, you’re a strong lady, Penelope. You’re more than capable of takin’ care of yourself. Ain’t that right? I mean, you’re not so scared o’me anymore, right? That’s a feat.”

Peep lightly punched his arm. “Shut up” he giggled.

Gene smiled down at her, patting the top of her head. “If you’re ever really in so much trouble, I’m sure y’know how to get to me.”

“I do.” Peep smiled. 

Gene grinned. “Y’gonna miss this?” He asked, sticking out his horrifically long tongue.

Peep groaned in fake-disgust, turning away. “Gross, this is a question for Dolly, not me-”

Gene cackled, throwing his head back a bit.

Peep smiled proudly, hands on her hips. Making Gene laugh- or so much as smile- was a rare feat she had only seen Ace achieve thus far (”look! It’s rock and roll!”).

Bobby watched the Sweeneys converse with their government-assigned KISS members (as he liked to joke), gaze flickering to the floor in melancholy.

“You okay, babe?”

Bobby reached a hand up, carefully cupping Cliff’s cheek. He hummed in response. “I dunno when we’re gonna see ‘em again, mango. What if we never have time to hang out again? What if shit goes down and we have to stop hanging up with one of ‘em, or someone breaks up with someone else and it’s all weird?” He inquired. “I dunno, I just...as much as I liked the Buddies being independent, opening for ‘em as cool as hell.”

Cliff kissed Bobby’s palm. “Somethin’ tells me this isn’t the end, Bobby. They may not be your employers or technical-band-mates anymore, but they’re still your friends” he answered, kissing the top of Bobby’s head. “And we know a thing or two about friends, don’t we?”

“All sorts’a stuff.”

“Exactly. We know lots of the outcomes that this friendship with Gene, Peter- uh, Eric now, Paul, and Ace could come to. We’re ready for any of them anyways, amirite?”

“Right.” Bobby had the ghost of a smile on his face as he craned his head up to look at Cliff, though upside down. “God, you’re my religion.”

“Love you too” Cliff purred, kissing Bobby’s nose.

Backtracking to Deep and Ace, Ace’s hand in Deep’s hair. 

Deep glanced down at his watch, literally watching as each second with Ace slipped away. Each of Beep’s seconds with Starchild. Each of Peep’s seconds with Gene. “I just wanna stay here forever.”

“Y’do?” Ace arched a brow.

“‘Cause I know in the mornin’, you’ll be gone. And the morning after  that- rats, then the next ones after that.”

Ace gulped, pulling Deep in and tightly hugging him. “Bring it in, man.”

Deep wrapped his arms around Ace’s neck, a hand in his pitch black, but godly soft hair. “Ace?”

Ace pulled away from the hug, a hand cupping Deep’s cheek. Their noses were inches apart. “Yea?”

Deep glanced down at his tattoo. “Don’t make a mistake outta me, alright?”

Ace fought back a knowing grin, simply nodding. “Never on any planet, baby.”

Beep, meanwhile, bit the edge of his lip. “Starry?”

Starchild looked down at him, “mhm?”

Beep looked at the red lips on his hand. “Don’t make a- make a mistake out of me, alright? Out of, uh, us.”

Starchild’s eyebrows furrowed together a bit. “Y’know how I say I can see into the future, Benji?” 

Beep squinted, confused. “Yea-?”

“I can say for certain that I don’t see that happening.” Starchild chuckled.

Beep slowly smiled, feeling a twinge of relief. “I love you, Starry.”

“Yea, I love you too.”

Peep tilted his head. “Gene, y’better not make a mistake out of our friendship while you’re gone.”

Gene narrowed his eyes. “How could I-?”

“I dunno, but just don’t” Peep shrugged, rolling up an imaginary sleeve.

Gene scoffed, saluting her. “Aye-Aye, Penelope.”

Bobby smiled to himself, Cliff’s hand going up and under his shirt. “I’ll miss ‘em.”

“Yea, me too” Cliff agreed. “But this isn’t the end, remember?”

“Far from it.”

[goth-giraffe]

🖊+ echo 🖊+ Meredith and 🖊for whoever you want

Oh yea!! Thank you so much anon :D 

I’m gonna put this under a cut, I’ll try not to ramble for a long time but I’m not making promises xD

Echo~

This is WAY overdone I’m sure but when he’s very irritated and violently angry, his eyes flash red. But he’s never violent outwardly, so it’s more of a warning to people who know him that he’s in danger.

Other random facts: He loves butterflies and moths. And he’s scared of dogs.

Also, kind of a history- I’ve only had him for a year or so (not sure exactly) but I’ve rewritten him lots of times. He’s been a computer file, lost and glitching out, a ghost, invisible to the living around him, a patient in a psychiatric ward, daydreaming about someone who cares about him…. Which is to say, I’ve given up on trying to put in one universe or one situation only. He’s my main vent character. I throw him into whatever universe I’m feeling and currently he hangs out with his imaginary friend, Loki. So… yeah.

Meredith~

Oh heck I could ramble about Meredith for hours but I’ll limit myself to three facts about her haha

She’s the youngest of her family and has three older sisters. She’s also kind of the black sheep, though her sister Jessie and her both kinda compete over that title.. 

She went through an intense vampire phase around the same time she was going through puberty. I kind of headcanon her as still having semi-sharp “fangs” because she filed her canine teeth to sharpen them without her parents knowing, but I’m not sure if I’ll keep that in the canon or not xD. But yeah, she went all goth around her teenage years of course.. though she was always kind of a weird dark child.

She usually has birdseed in her hoodie pockets. (Also, she really likes birds - in case I hadn’t said that before.) She walks through parks a lot on her way to work or whatever so like, might as well feed her babies. :3

Mr. Evers~

I may have talked about him before but I’m not sure, and I know I haven’t talked about him here on this blog so. Be warned: he’s another angsty character.. his story is highly dramatic and highly tragic.. (I swear I do have happy characters, they’re just underdeveloped because I’m sad so it’s hard to imagine being happy? I don’t know. Anyway.)

He exists in Victorian times. And he’s… basically a serial killer. He doesn’t have a need to kill, though it is his response to greedy or otherwise horrible people. He also has a young daughter who travels with him, and considering the awful fate of his late fiancee, he’s wary of pretty much anyone who looks at her.

Why this is so reminiscent of Sweeney Todd? Well Mr. Evers is actually based off of a dream I had… and I had plenty of Sweeney Todd dreams around the same time but this one.. wasn’t quite him? He was a murderer, he was dark, he was sad, but he wasn’t quite Sweeney so I just made a whole new character. He’s both father and mother to his daughter, and he misses his fiancee dearly.

For the most part him and his daughter Daisy live on the road, he’s sort of a travelling tailor. He designed a large carriage specifically for his tailoring business - it was a dream of his to travel. He finished it hastily when his fiancee was in need of escape, and they traveled together for a short few months - long enough for her to give birth - before she was murdered. Anyway they don’t stay in one place very long, but they do stop for supplies sometimes, food or whatever, and sometimes he lets Daisy choose new fabrics to buy. Where he can set up shop he does, and they’ll stay in towns as long as they can without him meeting some awful person who he believes needs to die… but that’s usually not longer than a couple weeks.

He has severe breathing problems and fractured ribs, but only his daughter really knows about it, and she’s too young to understand how bad it is. (His fiancee knew too, of course.) This is from years of binding his chest too tightly… He guards his secret closely, because the wrong person finding out played a major part in his fiancee’s murder. But his health is ultimately failing because of it, and he’ll just keep tying his bandages tighter and tighter, as punishment to himself more than anything at this point..

….Anyway….. I’m sorry… I probably should’ve talked about my cyborg character because they’re adorable and sassy but oh well. xD

Thank you very much for the ask though anon! I love rambling about my OCs even if they’re all so sad xD (I don’t know why I chose Mr. Evers, he was probably the worst I could’ve rambled about… well, second worst, first is my OC Jane.)

Send me a 🖊 to make me ramble about my OCs!

[scripted-dalliances]

Rest In Peace: Chapter Four

Title: Rest In Peace

Chapter: 4

Summary: A part of Faithless Fairy Tale, a more in depth look at how they brought Laura back to life. Appearance of old faces, creation of new ones and if you’re looking for canon, it left a long, long time ago. If you squint you might be able to see some pieces from the book.

“What is a ghost? Something dead that seems to be alive. Something dead that doesn’t know it’s dead.” -Richard Siken

+

What of it indeed.

Truth be told she had no real explanation when she followed him. Only that she couldn't help herself. That sitting alone, in that big room had made her feel empty.

That without him, and his stupidly big presence, she was back in a coffin. Clawing upwards, towards nothing and everything because where else could she go? What else could she do?

Stay down, stay dead like all the other good dead boys and girls.

Laura tracked him easily enough. If he thinks she makes no noise it's only because he makes too much. Stomping around like a drunk elephant with steel boots. Slamming doors, cursing rabbits (she has zero clues on why) and eventually shouting at Shadow.

She expects them to fight, to be honest. Never have two men in her world been so different. Sweeney is loud, rough and course where Shadow is silent, smooth and refined. Both are prone to throwing their weight around, but Shadow has always attempted to shy away from conflict. Hating that just because he was a big guy that they assumed he was a big violent idiot.

Sweeney is a big violent idiot and would probably stand under a neon sign supporting such claims.

They have nothing in common except her and Odin, and both have majorly fucked up their lives. A twisted parody that mirrors the other. Odin basically traded one for the other, and neither was pleased by the deal. Hell, Laura isn't exactly jumping with joy either.

(The dead bastard least happy of all, but fuck him)

She expects them to be at each others throats. She expects at least a sharp insult or two. Instead Shadow laughs and acts like Sweeney is a disgruntled friend.

At least Sweeney seems confused by this reaction as much as she is. Laura might have accepted the end of their marriage but it will take longer for her to understand that the Shadow she knows is just as dead. That the man she was once married to hasn't just changed because of years spent in jail, but because of intimate close calls with lynching and deals with Gods of old and new.

Truth is, Shadow has been through hell and his journey is no where near done. Before, Laura could read him like a book, from beginning to end, she knew each line and yes, she's a horrible person for getting bored of it. For finding fault in both the predictable nature of Shadow Moon and the sweetness, but now he's shiny and new. All the familiar pages have been rewritten to better suit his new exciting and violent world, in a different pose and language, and somewhere between death and this zombie state, she has lost the ability to read him.

She'll always love him, in a way, but now that she intimately knows death, what its like to feel yourself fall apart and kill a god; she can say with certainty that she does not have the ability to love Shadow as he should be loved. To look at him and not see the man she called puppy, to see beyond his godlike glow and supernova of a light within, to fall back in love with a man she no longer knows.

Oh, the good parts are still, mixed in with the new. His kindness, honesty and unwavering heart, but his everything wasn't enough then and she knows it would not be now. With Shadow there will always be a part missing, a thirst he can't quench.

Truth is, maybe she was losing that ability to read him before her death.

“Can I have a moment alone with him.” She says to her ex-husband, and she can feel the air buzz with tension. Shadow graciously leaves the hallway but Sweeney tenses like she is a about to punch his dick off.

“I'm not going to hit you.” She finds herself snapping at him, his tension bleeding over to her. “I said I wanted to talk.”

“Yeah, and what a way with words you have.”

He lifts his shirt up a bit, just enough to show her the ghastly bruise her punch made. It makes her feel just a little guilty, because she really doesn't have control of her monstrous strength and had only wanted him to stop calling her a cunt.

“I've done worse to you.”

He tilts his head and drops the shirt, “Fair enough. What you want Dead Wife, I thought even you'd understand that I am done ‘experimenting’ today.”

“I am not…” She starts, suddenly awkward admitting this to him. “You were…right. About the death do you part shit you said back in that bar with Salim. Shadow and I talked. Turns out he isn't into the freshly lemon scented me. So you can stop calling me Dead Wife, it no longer applies. There are worse ways a divorce can go, right?” Laura attempts to smile, but her bones are brittle and her smile cracks. She's tired, and its showing more than ever.

Sweeney for his part, looks just as done. Blinking owlishly down at her like he doesn't even know English. It goes on for a solid minute before she frowns.

“You could at least say something.” Laura prods.

He chuckles at her and it holds a nasty tone, “What the fuck do you want me to say? Congratulations? I'm not bloody Oprah. Fuck, my ears are still ringing from you saying I was right?”

“Oh, shut the fuck up.”

“First you want me to say something, when I do, you tell me to shut up. I've known mad monks that make more sense than you!”

“I am trying to share, asshole!” She raises her voice to match his. “That was what you basically said downstairs, right?” She is, at her very best, grasping at straws. “You don't think I trust you enough to believe anything you say and let's be real you aren't exactly wrong on that…”

“…would you say I'm right?”

Laura frowns, “I'd say we have to start from ground zero and fucking get over ourselves if we both want to get what is ours back. I have a plan, but it only works if we do it together.”

The mulish pout is back in full force and Sweeney glares down at her like she's just asked him to do something impossible. Like not swear for a week or wear something not ugly as sin.

“Look. I am not a good person. I never was, and that…has always made it difficult to connect with other people. Mostly because I never cared to try. Because I know who I am. I'm an asshole. Deep down I can't pretend to give a fuck about other people's shit lives. I was born feeling disconnected, and never cared to learn how to reconnect. So instead it was either learn to hide that fact or become a serial killer.”

“You ain't got the upper body strength.” Them he tilts his head in a wary expression of after thought. “Though I suppose that ain't a problem now.”

Laura almost smirks, “Back then it was. So I kept to myself, I learned to shut up and smile, cause that is what the world expects from a pretty little girl. Any time I tried to get more or be more, the world would shit on that and eventually I just gave up. I accepted my fate, and coasted through what was a clearly a shit but long ride to death. Or at least I thought it was,” She eyes him, and he manages not to glare back. “Terrible thing? No one fucking noticed. Not my parents, siblings or friends. To them, fake me and always been real me, and the one person I thought could change that was Shadow. And Shadow…he just sort of fell into my lap. I wasn't kind or grateful, fuck I wasn’t even happy about it and for whatever reason that made him try twice as hard.”

“That sounds annoying.”

“It was, at first,” She admits, “-but he stuck around. I thought…I thought it would be different. That I could be different. I know that's foolish now, that it was cruel to put that weight on him but I was young, dumb and in love.” She paused, remembering what it was like. To come home after long hours at work, find Shadow cooking or sleeping. To curl around his warmth and simply be, soaking up the affection he rained down on her. It was enough to drown out the rest of the world, the rest of her darkness until it wasn't. Until she started to feel empty with him even in the room. Until her greedy little dark heart wanted more.

Now in retrospect she isn't sure it was love as so much co-dependence. Shadow wanted the space and a reason to go straight, and she needed someone to come home to so she wouldn't kill herself.

In the end, Shadow didn't know the woman she was.

“He loved what I gave him, and I loved him for it. Clearly though, that wasn't enough.” She decides, “Point is, I am shit at this, at being open and trusting just for the sake of it. And frankly, you aren't winning any awards either. So. No, I don't want to make friendship bracelets or braid your hair but I do want to be able to trust you. Believe in what you say…and when you tell me your story, believe in that too.”

>

[breakingarchives]

ooc info

REYNA ( 23 / she|her / MDS qual a nossa timezone?? )

Should we add any trigger in the page? Nada que já não esteja lá

ic info

AIMÉE SÉRAPHINE BOUCHARD is a PERFORMING ARTS student obsessed by CONSPIRACY THEORIES AND GHOST STORIES, that aims to BE A FAMOUS FIGURE SKATING AND OLYMPIC MEDALIST because they are TRYING TO CHANGE HER LIFE AND BECOME RICH. However, due to HAVING TO PAY HER MOTHER’S & HER OWN LIFE DEBT TO HER COUSIN this might take a while to happen.

SHE is trying to remember how long they study at Università di Lugano, but all we know is that they are a FRESHMEN. This SCHOLARSHIP student is 22 years old, was born in NICE, FRANCE, and looks horrifyingly like SYDNEY SWEENEY.

DISCIPLINED and SECRETIVE , but also SELF-CONFIDENT and DETACHED. We’re all complex individuals. I say individuals, because at this rate, I’m not sure that all of us are human anymore.

Don’t be weird, but I just compiled a dossier about them. You can read below, if you want. I just wanted to know if they were secretly a serial killer.

EXTRACURRICULAR: ice skating league, convenience store & campus redditor.

DORMITORY: free, apartment 101 (because it was either having two jobs or living on the dungeons and she wanted time to practice)

Aimée barely remembers her father. All her memories of the man involve him in the hospital, taken over by the disease that eventually took his life. After her fifth birthday, it was just her and her mother against the world. That, too, didn’t last long. In a robbery when wrong, Aimée’s mother died in front of her. After her mother’s tragic death, Aimée was ten when she moved to Stuttgart (Germany) to live with her closest relative: Matthias Goethe was a distant cousin to her father and Aimée barely knew him, only hearing stories about her ‘rich cousin’.

Living with him and his family, Aimée was raised in a huge house, but she was never part of their rich life. From day one, Matthias and Nicole (his wife) made sure to remind Aimée that she didn’t belong there, that they were doing her a favor, giving her a place to sleep and eat but she’d need to pay them back, specially after all the money they’d lent to her mother on those years when it was just the two of them. Like a real life Cinderella, Aimée was less part of the family and more like a maid, always running errands for the Goethes and earning her shelter and meals day by day.

She started officially working when she was fifteen, with a fake id and a smile on her face, ready to start resolving her debt. She started dancing, aiming to grab a scholarship in the future since that was her only chance of actually going to college. From the ballet, she went to figure skating, encouraged by one of the few teachers that knew her everyday struggles in her school.

She learned from a young age that all she wanted, she’d have to earn by her own hands, no matter how much she had to work for that. Aimée is super disciplined, to the point of subduing her own personality to fit her busy schedule. Before graduation, few people knew her for more than ‘the overachiever girl that’s always busy with something else’. Only her closest friends knew the easy smiles when she was dancing without the pressure of practice, the shine in her eyes when she was discussing the existence of aliens and ghosts, the soft screams followed by natural laughs when she got scared with the same horror movies she’d already watched a dozen times. But even those few friends never knew the whole truth about Aimée’s life.

Above all, Aimée is a lonely woman. She’s been alone for so long that she doesn’t even feel lonely anymore. Being by herself is all she ever known, she can’t count on anyone else to help her. The only time she let herself cry for it, for herself, is on her yearly visit to her parents graves, in Paris. She’s not Cinderella waiting for the prince to save her, she’s gonna save herself and make her name great. Greater than the Goethes, greater than everyone that ever doubt her.

[jillmckenzie1]

Sweeney Todd at the Equinox

Caution: Includes Spoilers!

With October comes pumpkin spice lattes, last year’s limp Halloween decorations dragged back out onto my neighbor’s lawn, and gothic theater productions. Front and center of Denver’s autumnal theater roster is Equinox Theater Company’s production of Sweeney Todd: Demon Barber of Fleet Street at the Bug Theatre in LoHi. Stephen Sondheim’s opus is notoriously difficult and, well, the Bug isn’t quite Broadway, so my expectations were…reasonable. I’m happy to report that those expectations were far exceeded.

Sweeney Todd is basically a Liam Neeson movie set in Dickensian London. It looks like Les Misérables and Hamlet had a baby: An innocent man, hated and exiled by a girthy government official, returns to his city of origin. A woman needs to be avenged. In the meantime, a little blonde girl grows up. In the final scene, everybody who’s still alive dies sequentially, on stage, center-center. Sondheim’s musical deals with classic subject matter: power, obsession, sex, death, and secrets. Perfect stuff for Halloween.

We’re as obsessed with watching serial killers as they are with killing. Eighty-seven percent of podcasts can’t be wrong. Obsession gives us YoYo Ma playing the Prelude from Bach’s Cello Suite No1 in G Major. It also gives us Ted Bundy and the Darwin Twine Ball. Make of this what you will. Obsession first seeks its primary target; then it loses focus and takes whatever it can get. Sweeney Todd first seeks only to kill the judge who exiled him; he ends up killing dozens of others, his beloved, and, indirectly, even himself.

I mildly resent Sweeney Todd for having a straight-white-male for the hero, although almost all serial killers are male, so I will try to be understanding about this. (Thought exercise: How would this play be different if the title role were a female?) Sweeney Todd himself is a bit of a bore. He’s a macabre variation of the Great White Hero that made millions for Kevin Costner, Mel Gibson, Sylvester Stallone, and basically every other 180+lb actor in the guild. Mrs. Lovett, the character who was created to define the word “frowsy,” is slightly more interesting. She makes a horrifying moral choice and seems to think of it lightly. Is her decision to be pragmatic about murder a result of her perversion or of her necessity?

The plot resolves as the characters’ secrets escape. We assume that the truth always comes out in the end, but does it? How many of us take our secrets to the grave, at least until 23andMe outs us to the world? Perhaps the exceptions like Jaycee Dugard or Elizabeth Smart just prove the rule? I walk around my neighborhood and have my dark inklings about which houses could contain someone unwillingly chained up in a basement. 

Let’s get on with discussing this specific production of the play. I went to see the Saturday evening performance with someone, which I considered a first date, although I’m not sure that he considered it a date at all. In a reflection of this uncertainty, I wore fancy undies, but did not shave my legs. That’s the fusion of optimism and realism. (This was my second date of 2019; on the first one, several months ago, Date 1.0 mansplained to me that the wage gap exists because women don’t work hard enough. He did not get laid. However, while waiting for Date 1.0 to show up, I ran into and casually chatted with Date 2.0, whom I had previously met through writing this column. Small world.) I mention this only to highlight the oddity that is watching a dark and violent story unfold while sitting next to someone who you are completely clueless about with regards to what they will find horrifying or hilarious. It’s a great litmus test.

Local theater can be hit or miss, but Equinox hit it out of the park. The power and pitch of the opening songs quickly reassured me that this would not be Waiting for Guffman. The cast sang with skill to match their gusto, hitting all the high notes with confidence and filling up the small stage with big characters. I have been involuntarily removed from two singing groups because of my lack of vocal skills, and so my envy for their voices abounds. The casting choices seemed to fit the characters well: Todd (Derek Helsing) is a stocky, powerful man—you could nearly feel the rage radiating off of him; Mrs. Lovett (Emily Ebertz), a redhead whose beauty was unable to be completely hidden behind the disheveled aprons. Judge Turpin is probably Phillip Seymour Hoffman reincarnated, although he’s billed as (Zach Vaughn). Johanna (Alexis Webb), the daughter, is a reasonable facsimile for Reese Witherspoon.

Sweeney Todd can be truly shocking. My notes say “Self-flagellation! I forgot about that!” followed by “Incest!—forgot about that, too!” The actors spend a lot of time sloshing around buckets of blood. You get to watch many people die on stage. You also get jolted back in time by present-day anachronisms. Dropsy! Plague! All the Victorian diseases! Freshly-shaven customers request a splash of Bay Rum, which I can only presume was the Axe body spray of the 1800’s. Sondheim’s score is ridiculously difficult. His virtuosity is ridiculously enjoyable. He serves up a bottomless mimosa of rhymes, just because he can. It’s sheer joy.

The good and the bad: Every production has strengths and weaknesses. These are a few that caught my eye.

The physical production values were top-notch; the props and set effectively conveyed the time and locations without distracting from the story. They did a great job of using the space and creating different locations on the relatively small stage. The costumes were slick, well-fitting, and well-suited to the characters. I particularly enjoyed that a female actor was cast as the beadle. There was a neat trick with the lighting that I won’t reveal here: you should go see it for yourself.

With such lovely props and staging, one choice in particular yanked at my eyes. Most of the props (buckets, razors, satchels, liquid “blood”, etc.) were real. The shaving cream and foodstuffs (both critical to the plot) were improvised. It pulled me away from the story while I wondered why. Also, the running time for this play is nearly three hours, a truly Victorian length. It supposes that you have nothing else to do but read Silas Marner and fend off the plague with Bay Rum while waiting for dropsy to kill you. It’s bladder-stretcher, for sure.

I’ll point out two moments of delight: the first is Jayce Johnson, who plays Perelli, Todd’s first victim, a competing show-off in the barber trade. He struts and poses like a showgirl, displaying the weird mix of sexiness and hucksterism required of all kinds of performers. It’s as delightful to watch as it is to listen to Sondheim’s rhymes. The other moment was the glowing faces of the cast taking their bow at the end. The joy of a job flawlessly completed was writ large. That right there is the moment that makes live theater worth the effort. Or, in this case, mostly dead theater.

Sweeney Todd runs for another few weeks. The performance I attended was sold out—for good reason—and I expect the rest of the run to sell out, too. Don’t miss this one—it’s well worth it.

from Blog https://ondenver.com/sweeney-todd-at-the-equinox/

[newagesispage]

                                                            JULY       2018

 PAGE  RIB

***** Pete Davidson has gotten himself engaged to Arianna Grande. He has new tattoos to prove his love.

***** The first wall was raised for the old Conklin’s barn dinner theatre in Goodfield, Illinois. After a struggle to raise money after the old barn was destroyed and a fight with the insurance company, the day has finally come. The new structure which is part of a whole new complex will open in 2019. I can’t wait!!!

***** Vikings QB, Kirk Cousins is still driving his great old van and proud of it.

***** Check out Rotten apples, a website that is a database for consumers to learn if those involved in movies or TV have allegations against them.

***** The Daily show had a good idea. Every time that Scary Clown 45 does his daily dose of fucking everything up, call Fox news.  Calling your congressmen and protesting will have to continue, of course but it seems he mostly listens to Fox. Perhaps if they get tired of listening to us bitch, they will try to get their boss/fan to change a few things. 1-888-369-4762.** How far down will he and his cult drag this country?

***** A personal note: I heard a comedian the other day talking about jerks in all parts of our lives. Whether it be church, work, school, concerts, an AA meeting or whatever there is always an asshole in the mix to ruin stuff. This really resonated with me because I have seen a situation lately that perfectly illustrates this. A local store has a department with 3 managers. Manager #1 keeps hiring in his friends that mostly create their own schedules and do not often break a sweat. Manager #2 has been there a while and things run pretty smooth and fair when they run the day. Manager #3 is new to the position and often seems like they do not know what the fuck is going on and it was recently learned that this one has been backstabbing #2 so much that # 2 was fired. Now, we can’t know, of course, the reason for the firing but it just shows that a perfectly nice place to work and shop with a company one can believe in can go all wrong because of one or two bad apples. Manager #2 who is also battling illness (so does not often have the strength to fight back) has lost a career and many employees who respect them are now stuck working with people they know will run the place into the ground or having to find another job. I have seen a few similar situations thru the years and of course, asshole in chief in D.C. is like the all time perfect example of this but why can’t we weed out the jerks?  

***** Days alert: Is Paul leaving? What? They need to bring in a good mate for him. He is arguably the most honest person in town and he deserves the best. Let Will and Sonny have each other and find a better match for Paul but don’t let him go. I mean Sonny treats Paul like he isn’t even in the room half the time and they were going to marry?!  But, yes.. Chris Sean (Paul) is going and Bryan R. Dattilo (Lucas) may go soon too. Marci Miller (Abby) is out and will be replaced by the old Abby, Kate Mansin. Arianne Zucker (Nicole) will be back. Will she have a baby for Eric? Olivia Rose Keegar (Claire) has released a single titled ‘Just my type.’** Are they really gonna do a Ben and Ciara thing?** Sephen Nichols (Patch) is out as well as Greg Rikkaart (Leo). Farah Fath (Mimi Lockhart) is back. Sheila, Shawn and Belle will show up soon.  Kyle Lowder who used to play Brady will return as another character. There is a rumor that Allison Sweeney (Sami) will swing in for a bit and will she be pregnant with Rafe’s baby? I am betting so since Hope just mentioned something about Raif not having any kids.

***** Antarctic ice loss has tripled in just a decade.

***** The Philadelphia Eagles were cancelled at the White House because most of them would not come. Philly’s mayor countered with:” Trump is not a true patriot but a fragile egomaniac obsessed with crowd size and afraid of the embarrassment of throwing a party to which no one wants to attend.”  The night before, Fox news showed pics of Eagles kneeling when in fact they were praying as they always do. Nobody said there was anything wrong with that before so the players would like to know what is wrong with praying? This particular team never took a knee all season as protest. And what about the 10 players who wanted to go to the White house and worked hard to get there?** Scary Clown says he won’t even invite the NBA champs.

***** Illinois ratified the ERA. Just 1 more state and 36 years after the deadline to adopt legislation we may get there.

***** So, I see Domino’s latest stunt is fixing the roads? Somebody has to work on the infrastructure so it might as well be them.

***** The MtV awards best dressed to me were Alison Brie and Kristen Bell. While the chaos engulfed our country, the young people at the awards (the so called Hollywood elite), spoke out for real super heroes, acceptance for all and an end to bullying.

***** Should we be giving Dennis Rodman airtime to show how stupid he is? I hear the argument  over and over lately that someone was nice to them so they must be ok. This could be said of Trump, Kim Jung Un or a serial killer. How fucking selfish can people be?  The ignorant seem to be incapable of seeing the horror right in front of them as they pick and choose facts.

***** Why have I seen a rash of first cousins as lover’s jokes? Why is it ok to make fun of this?

***** Artifacts were found in Springfield, Il. which came from the 1908 race riots. First found in 2014 when work was being done on an underpass, officials hope to soon have them on display. After working to preserve the items, they are looking to the Smithsonian and the Library of Congress.

***** Is there a new serial killer in Massachusetts?

***** The Koch brothers are apparently waging war all over the country against Mass Transit. They use paid activists to push similar thinking voters to vote it down. It is funny that these big government haters don’t mind that the Koch Brothers have made a well thought out data service to help control their voters.

***** The Tony’s were pretty rockin’ this year. Robert DeNiro got everybody going with a Fuck Trump sentiment. Most awards went to The Band’s Visit, Harry Potter and the cursed child and Angels in America. Once on an Island won best revival and other winners were Glenda Jackson and Nathan Lane (who I love but was really pulling for Michael Cera and Brian Tyree Henry). Tony Shalhoub, Laurie Metcalf and Andrew Garfield also took home awards.  The most beautiful moment was from the students of Stoneman Douglas and their teacher who was honored.** A Trump supporter went to A Bronx tale: The musical after the DeNiro incident which is codirected by Mr. D. The supporter held up a Trump 2020 sign. My son chuckled, “At least he bought a ticket.”

***** IHOP has become IHOB. They think they are Red Robin. More $ in burgers than pancakes, I guess.

***** Stephen Colbert sang the National anthem at a Mets game.** Trump is taking swipes at the late night hosts now. Conan, Colbert and Fallon teamed up to do a funny about that.

***** So some people think that Roseanne’s racist remarks and Samantha Bee’s ‘cunt’ comment are the same? Both should lose their show? NO.. big difference.  Other countries do not get our outrage.. The word ‘cunt’ is not as big a deal in Canada and Great Britain. If there is fall out shouldn’t standards and practices at TBS be in trouble for letting the ‘feckless cunt’ comment go to broadcast? I mean Roseanne did this on her twitter on her own. Trump cult members think they can all go to twitter and spout their racist, hateful rhetoric and get away with it. If one is going to be successful in the mainstream world, they may not get away with that like Scary Clown. Anyway, Go Samantha Bee!!**BTW,  Love the letter that Michael Moore put out about Trump and Roseanne, it is worth a read.** ABC will let the others serve out their contracts after a settlement with Roseanne when they bring us The Conners.

***** Jim Carrey and Showtime will give us ‘Kidding’ on Sept. 9. The dark comedy will cast Carrey as Mr. Pickles, a children’s host who is falling apart. Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind’s Michel Gondry will direst and the cast will include Catherine Keener, Judy Greer and Frank Langella.

***** Michael Myers, Jamie Lee Curtis and Halloween are back and wipes out all the sequels.

***** George Clooney received the lifetime achievement award from the American Film Institute.

***** Illinois man, Jay Smith claims he may have coyotes, wild dogs, a mix or hybrid or a unique unknown species in the woods around his home. The U.S. Dept. of agriculture and Chicago’s field museum are now interested in the 40 or so creatures. Smith describes them as bigger than wolves with dark coats. You can see for yourself on youtube : Kanahoe wolves of forgottonia.

***** Atlanta has been renewed for season 3, of course!!

***** Reese Witherspoon will soon be back in the Legally Blonde world for the third time.

***** I truly love to hear Louie Anderson laugh.

***** The President is Missing, a novel by James Patterson and Bill Clinton is #1.

***** Terry Crews talked to the Senate about sexual assault.

***** Secret Service is temporarily keeping an eye on Sarah Sanders and more staff members may get their own agents.

***** The Environmental media association Benefit gala honored Elizabeth Olsen, Ray Halbritter, Mike Sullivan and Jane Fonda who danced on stage with the musical guest Snoop Dogg.

***** Redmond O’Neal was arrested on June 8 for assault with a deadly weapon, criminal threat, brandishing a knife, battery and attempted murder.  Police say he went on a violent spree in Southern California.

***** Watch for Shock and Awe from Rob Reiner in July. People have been floating his name for President and U know the opposition would immediately call him meathead. I say embrace it, Meathead for President!!!!!!!**I Love that Reiner calls out Trump with’ the art of the lie.’

***** The much anticipated Old man and the gun will be out in September. The comedy filmed in Texas stars Robert Redford, sissy Spacek, Casey Affleck, Danny Glover and Tom Waits. I can’t fucking wait!

***** Look for the new film, An Actor Prepares with Jeremy Irons, Mamie Gummer, Larry Pine and Jack Huston.

*****The special council has piled more charges onto Paul Manafort. It was after this that he went back to court for violating the terms of his house arrest and his bail was revoked. The 40 charges now include witness tampering. All charges were about incidents before the Presidential campaign.

***** We have to know that people are not really paying attention when Scary Clown and Gulliani babble on incoherently on national television and their supporters do not seem to care or they really don’t get it. These voters seem to think that it is easier to stay with the devil you know and just refuse to bend. ** Ivanka keeps gathering more new trademarks in China and refuses to answer questions about it as the trade talk rages on.** Why do people keep trying to normalize all this behavior?

***** So.. Supposedly Trump told a friend that porn is not allowed in the White House and it his biggest complaint. Some reporters submitted this as an official question to the White House. It seems the subject has never really come up so no one has thought to ask before. So far there has been no response. ** Word is that Scary Clown rips up papers after he reads or uses them. The problem is that Presidential papers have to be preserved for history so 2 people work just to tape those papers back together.  They were fired this month.

***** Sexual misconduct controversy abounds in Illinois under Mike Madigan with Tim Mapes under the microscope.

***** Justify won the Belmont Stakes and is just the 13th horse in history to win the Triple crown.

***** Senator Jeff Merkley is telling us that immigrants are being held in small cages in Texas. Is this our country? Is this really happening?

***** Recording academy President, Neil Portnow will step down from his post next year.

***** Mystery Science Theatre 3000 will tour in the fall. Joel Hodgson, Jonah Ray, Tom Servo and Crow will begin riffing live on October 9 in Portland, Maine.

***** I wanna be in New Orleans for Voodoo fest on October 26-28. The lineup rocks with Marilyn Manson, Janelle Monae, Zeds dead, Elle King, Mumford and Sons, Arctic Monkeys and Childish Gambino.

***** Next year Brian De Palma is going to start filming ‘Predator’ about the Weinstein scandal.

***** Convicted drug trafficker Alice Johnson was pardoned by Scary Clown.  Who’s next?

***** Trump called Canadian PM Trudeau, meek, mild and weak. ** True to form, Trump showed up late at the G7 for his meeting on women’s empowerment.** Rep. Steve Schmidt said that ‘Trump beclowned himself.”** Trump quote: “Kim Jong Un is a great guy” and “ North Korea is no longer a nuclear threat.” I don’t think he will ever hear the end of it over those statements. Saying it does not make it so. I wrote this and then I heard Chuck Schumer say it. ** Big evidence of wrong doing in the Trump charity organization. He is now being sued by the attorney General for persistent illegal conduct.** Trump now says he wants to withdraw from the World Trade Organization. He is being such a good little boy by helping Putin check things off his list. Destroy NATO, Destroy EU, Destroy the UN, Eliminate U.S. leadership. ** As June ends, there are new reports that North Korea has ramped up its Nuclear production.

***** This whole mess with 2,000 kids being taken from their parents at the border is an outrage. I can’t help but think of our ‘well meaning’ Christian folk trying to convert the Native Americans back in the day. They tried hard to make the natives dress like the white man, pray like the white man and go to our schools. As well as leverage for scary clown’s wall, are they trying to fill these children’s heads with their own propaganda while they are in foster care or residing in the white man’s warehouse? **When will the loyalists realize that a wall cannot be built? Private citizens own some of that land. There are bodies of water on the border. No matter how much the racists wish for it, it just can’t be done.** There is something about the way he grins crazily when he is called out on something. It seems like he is so proud of his lies and the way he conducts himself so unethically. I am reminded of Manson and the way he would light up when asked about his crimes or when he was shown footage from other family members talking about him. This is such a fast moving story that some are equating to the way the Jewish and the Japanese were treated in the past. ** It is obvious that no planning went into any of this new policy. It is wonderful that so many reporters are watching the facilities they know about and staying at the border. It takes time to get the facts and it isn’t easy when the administration is being so secretive. The lawsuits have started. Can we get Sessions, Nielsen, Pence and Trump on child neglect??** People of all nations will not want to be here soon and we will be left with the racists and bullies. Do we leave or do we fight?  If everybody left the Trumpers alone in this country what would they have to complain about? They have no empathy, it is like they thrive on others suffering. ** Multiple on air personalities cried at the stories of the children as their emotions came to the surface. I think many of us feel helpless as that sinking feeling we all had on election night has come to the point we all feared.** The Red Cross has not even been allowed in to these FOR PROFIT facilities. Protesters are staying on the case of Krisjen Nielsen. The administration and their defenders have been so flippant about the whole thing especially Corey (womp, womp) Lewandowski.** It costs the government over twice as much to house the kids without their parents.** Melania visited the kids and wore a jacket which read ‘I really don’t care, Do you?’ This started a whole new mess. I thought of those Turpin monster parents. Why on earth does anyone want to put kids in cages?  Does it make someone powerful to torture children?

***** June ended with about 700 protests for the kids in cages. Family’s Belong Together marches were overflowing in the heat with inspiring messages and a lot of heart. I was so proud to be there.

***** New York has sued the federal government over zero tolerance.**The U.S. has withdrawn from the UN human rights body. Many do agree with this one for they feel there is not equal punishment for nations when it comes to human rights.** A lawsuit was filed on April 23 alleging kids were held down and injected to render them helpless and keep them calm.**It seems that we should leave the immigrants alone and enforce swift, harsh penalties for those who hire undocumented workers. These employees aren’t paying their fair share on these employees.**The Pentagon has been asked to prepare housing for 20,000 immigrants.** I mean, this is not a simple subject but basically if you come in illegally, you go back. If you seek asylum, you should not be separated from your child or be in detention. More judges would help get this backlog caught up and ankle bracelets had seemed to be helping the situation. Take some of this ‘traveling to Mar a Lago $’ and hire more judges. And let’s help stabilize these regimes so folks will feel safer in their own countries. Some are even saying they should abolish I.C.E.. Some of those speaking out with that thought are I.C.E. agents themselves. I.C.E. spokesperson James Schwab has been speaking out. He claims he resigned because although he was asked to spin for both administrations, the current administration asked him to outright lie. Thank you James! ** Immigrants add 63 billion to the economy.** A federal judge has declared the kids must be reunited with their parents in 30 days, for younger kids it is 14 days.** Justin Trudeau tells refugees they are welcome in Canada.

*****  Ok.. Read the next item before this one!!!... So Stuttering John AKA John Melendez has a podcast and he claims he called air force one and he got thru.  He pretended to be Sen Bob Menendez and Trump told him he would have a Supreme Court pick in 2 weeks. While people wondered if this was true, Trump announced he would have his pick on July 9.

***** The Supreme Court upheld the travel ban including Venezuela, North Korea, Syria, Iran, Somalia and Libya. They (5-4) claim it is not a Muslim ban and allows for them to get off the list. This reverses the lower court’s rulings but at least it is the third incarnation as the first two were struck down. Even though the Supreme court said the President has the authority it did put it somewhat in check. Still wrong.  0 people have been killed in our country by a person from one of these countries.** The Supreme Court also tells us you don’t have to pay your union dues. ** Justice Kennedy is set to retire. Trump’s private banker at Deutsche bank for 12 years is Justice Kennedy’s son. JS

***** The country gets more liberal and the power in the country gets more conservative. WTF?** Rod Rosenstein seemed very confident in his questioning this week. This is good news for the country!

***** Sean Spicer is putting together a talk show.

***** The Trump administration is backing insurance companies to eliminate the pre- existing condition protection.

***** The 2019 Hollywood walk of fame will add Robert DeNiro, Anne Hathaway, Michael Buble, Tyler Perry and the trio of Linda Ronstadt, Emmylou Harris and Dolly Parton.

***** Sara Netanyahu has been indicted on fraud charges.

***** Take a listen to the Ear hustle podcast and get the dirt inside prison.

***** Studied show that 97% of rapists never go to jail.

***** Women can drive in Saudi Arabia but arrests are up for women who protest there.

***** Jerry Springer is finally done with his show.

***** The republicans govern without shame. The democrats shame without governing.  –Bill Maher

***** From what I see it seems that America to the Conservatives means guns and Christianity should be included in our governments and our schools.  They seem to like everyone to take care of themselves financially except in extreme cases and outsiders should not be a part of this country. America to the liberals seems like the same rights for all like health care, ruling our own bodies and that love is love. They believe in high taxes and programs to help others.

***** Jeff Sessions of the United Methodist church has been charged under church law with violating paragraph 270.3: child abuse, immorality, racial discrimination and dissemination of doctrines contrary to the standards of doctrine of the United Methodist church. In the 50 years of the church as a denomination, no case can be found that has gotten this far.

***** It seems that there was always a bit of a separation between Fox news and the rest of the company. This latest border mess has crumbled that particular wall. Artists who have at one time or another  worked for Fox Studios are speaking out. Modern Family creator Steve Levitan, director Payl Fieg and Seth Mcfarlane are among them.

***** If we don’t make peace with our wounds, we’ll be tempted to despise the wounded.  – Father Gregory Boyle

***** No one is illegal on stolen land.   Thanks Kim

*****  Trump is not much on tradition. The man cancels the congressional picnic for lack of time but is gung ho for rallies and fund raisers .A scrawl on Fox news dressed down CNN and MSNBC for not airing the latest Trump rally. Who the fuck wants to see that nightmare?

***** Peter Fonda’s emotions got the better of him and he tweeted: WE SHOULD RIP BARRON FROM HIS MOTHERS ARMS AND PUT HIM IN A CAGE WITH A PEDOPHILE AND SEE IF HIS MOTHER WILL STAND UP AGAINST THE GIANT ASSHOLE. He deleted it but the damage was done. He apologized to the family.**Sarah Sanders was asked to leave a restaurant** Maxine Waters is asking people to call out Trump workers when they see them. This is getting ridic but I think the right thinking people of this country are feeling trapped and desperate. Civility is hard keep in check when our country is being taken over by racists, thieves and bullies. We must try to do this right though. We must get this right!

***** Scary Clown 45 claims that crime in Germany is so high, perhaps because of the refugees? In fact, crime is at a 30 year low? Similarly, a report commissioned by Scary’s own administration shows how much immigrants put into our economy but since the numbers were good, they buried that report.** A story claimed that WH staffers show the President only what he wants to see and that John Kelly tells people to just let him keep going as he is and if it leads to impeachment then our country will be through this horrific time.** His rallies and speeches get crazier if that is possible. Does he travel with an audience?** Trump claims that the Dems want immigrants because they see them as potential voters. Genius, years of red tape and possibly letting gang members (his words) in just for a vote! ** He will say anything to divert attention from himself and his cohorts using this country as their personal piggy bank and taking our rights away.** The UN has declared that the policy of separating children from parents at the border, “may amount to torture.”

***** White house.gov has an agenda for a complete reorganizing of the Federal government full of privatization, major cuts and consolidated power.

***** I-95 in Maine has been getting shut down so border patrol can check your citizenship. WTF?

***** OK.. This is a very unimportant note and I try to never watch commercials but I love the new Progressive ad where the dude is turning into his dad. So cute!

***** I wish that there was a little more backbone on the Sunday morn political shows. I mean the weekend of the big outrage at the border, there were big Trump loving infomercials, why are Bannon and Kelly Ann even invited on these shows?  I have no earthly idea how anyone could have an ounce of respect for any of them.

***** A NY Times story finds that Scary clown 45’s prison cutbacks have been so severe that teachers, secretaries and nurses have had to act as prison guards. ** Economists estimate that Iowa soybean farmers alone could lose up to $624,000,000 as a result of the tariffs. **Harley Davidson has moved some of their work to Bangkok because of the trade war.

***** Thank you James Corden for the Carpool Karaoke with Paul McCartney. It is the first time in a while that I let go of all the worry over this country et al and really got engrossed in something sweet and fun.

***** Disabled vets are being docked on their disability checks for an insurance they were forced into that they and their families can’t even redeem.

***** Kevin Vernardo has started his own circus.

***** Vince Vaughn was arrested June 19 for DUI and resisting arrest.

***** The BET awards winners include D J Khaled, Black Panther, Migos and Sza. Best dressed to me were Meek Mill, Remy Ma, Trevor Jackson, Storm Reid and Janelle Monae.

***** Mystery Race day theatre with Michael Waltrip????

***** John Legend tweeted a Fuck You to Paul Ryan!

***** The electoral college must go!

***** March 2019: Tim Burton will bring us Dumbo with Michael Keaton, Colin Farrell, Alan Arkin and Danny Devito.

***** Stan Lee has gotten a restraining order against his business manager claiming elder abuse.

***** A 94 year old Elgin woman put up a large sign in her yard that read ’Impeach Trump now!’ The city told her that it exceeded the size limit for signs in the city ordinance. She put up a smaller sign claiming that she just wants to draw attention to his foreign policy, trade policy and domestic policy. The woman, Myra Becker said that he’s a disaster. “I’m on a walker and there are all the things I can’t do but I can put up a sign.

***** Larry Kudlow had a heart attack.

***** The new season of Comedians in cars getting coffee includes Dave Chapelle, Alec Baldwin, Dana Carvey, Ellen DeGeneres, Zach Galifianakis, Jerry Lewis, Kate McKinnin, Tracy Morgan, Hassan Minaj, John Mulaney and Brian Regan.

***** So John Cena is really a pig! There was a clip of the man telling his girlfriend that he would make the sacrifice of giving her a child. This was a regular clip from a show she does so at least he owns his pig status, I guess. Sure, it is a ‘reality’ show that is supposedly all scripted but I don’t think that would matter to me if I was that kid.  I guess all their money will help. Good luck kid!

***** Boundaries will star Christopher Plummer, Peter Fonda and Vera Farmiga.

***** Mike Pence was invited to the big gay dance party in Ohio that was in the street just outside his hotel.  

*****  Brockmire continues to make me laugh out loud. A great line: Orange juice is a glass of vodka wasted.  How will sobriety play in the next season?

***** Trump staffers seem to have trouble unwinding and having personal lives since most of D.C. wants nothing to do with them. Recently it was revealed that they have found a bar called Rebellion where they feel welcome. Oh what clever clogs.  I imagine that since this has been revealed , it won’t be fun there for long.

***** Better Call Saul season 4 will have a mysterious Breaking Bad character that was never seen named Lalo. A couple more characters will be introduced when the show returns August 6.

***** The Traverse city film fest will honor Jane Fonda with Lifetime achievement.

***** Acura is sure using a lot of vintage Stones in their advertising as of late.** BTW The Stones have a new boxed set of all their original material albums from 1971 on. It is all cleaned up and lookin’ pretty!!

***** The new Whtney doc about Whitney Houston has some honest revelations . In a posthumous Me Too moment, it is revealed that she was molested by her cousin Dee Dee Warwick.

***** Maryland was home to the latest shooting. The AP has declared they will help the Capital Gazette continue to publish until they get back on their feet. Now that is what this country should be about.

***** The table in the Vietnamese noodle shop where Obama and Bourdain dined has been put under glass. Fans have come to the shop to pay tribute.

***** Mia Farrow proposes we move to saying ‘succumbed’ to suicide instead of ‘committed’ suicide because depression is an illness. The legacy of suicide is cruel enough for all involved. The national suicide prevention hotline number is 1-800-273-8255.

***** R.I.P. Glenn Snoddy, Alan Bean, Joe Jackson, Ella Brennan, Dwight Clark, Kate Spade, Alan O’Neill, Danny Kirwan, Eunice Gayson, Murray Frumson, Koko, Jackson Odell, Gena Turgel, Jerry Maren (last of the lollipop guild) , DJ Fontana, Neal Boyd,  Matt ‘guitar’ Murphy, Nick Knox, Jimmy Wopo, Charles Krauthammer, Vinnie Paul, Richard Harrison, Richard Valeriani, victims of the Maryland newspaper shooting,  Anthony Bourdain, Steve Soto, Willie Lee Rose, Richard Allan Greenberg and Eva Kirchgessner.

[jpweb12]

30 Absolutely Stunning Movie Posters

Movie posters give graphic designers a very large canvas to work on, which has resulted in some truly stunning and memorable work. The design work that goes into creating these posters can have a big impact on whether or not a movie is ultimately successful, so there’s a lot of pressure put on each designer’s shoulders.

Fortunately, when the right blend of eye-catching and relevant is put together, it’s hard for audiences not to get excited after seeing the poster. Let’s take a closer look at 30 movie posters that represent the very best in this particular graphic design niche.

  1.Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice

The movie was met with mixed reviews and proved to be very divisive among fans, but this poster definitely delivers the goods. The evocative “false god” statement written on Superman’s chest would have been enough to capture attention, but the dark, comic book styled art truly set the tone for the film.

  2.Escape from New York

The Statue of Liberty’s head draws viewers in, and the purposeful slant added to the wording on this poster adds visual intrigue. Combine that with the implied motion of the characters on the street, and it’s practically impossible not to pause for a moment and take everything in.

  3.Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope

The art that was used for the original “Star Wars” movie is absolutely gorgeous and has become instantly recognizable. The artist’s choice of colors, placement and elements from the film is exciting and promises a thrill ride. Fortunately, the movie was able to fulfill the high expectations that were generated by such a wonderful piece of art.

  4.Cloverfield

The “Cloverfield” poster seems almost like a clever nod to the “Escape from New York” image. After all, here’s the rest of the Statue of Liberty. The decision to depict a decapitated symbol of America proved to be a great choice. Adding the smoke in the distance made the poster even stronger. This poster succeeded in making movie lovers instantly curious, and it didn’t give away any of the film’s secrets.

  5.A Clockwork Orange

Whether you love or hate this controversial classic from Stanley Kubrick, it’s hard not to appreciate the artistry that went into the poster. The usage of white space ensures your eyes are drawn to the main character, and it’s easy to see that this is not going to be your average movie.

  6.Walk the Line

Bold lines and colors are always a good way to capture attention, and this poster provides an excellent example of this approach. The designer behind this “Walk the Line” poster also used elements of Johnny Cash’s career and personality to make it instantly attractive to fans of Cash’s music.

  7.Raiders of the Lost Ark

The muted background tones worked very well for this poster because they enabled the main character to stand out and demand attention. Flanking Indiana Jones on both sides with other characters helped offer a few clues regarding the film’s subject matter and plot, but the main driving point is the excitement of a whip wielding hero.

  8.The Spirit

When you make a movie about an old and relatively obscure comic book character, you need to have a hook to bring audiences in. This poster delivered quite nicely. The juxtaposition of the vivid red with the black and white tones is eye-catching, and the large wording begs to be read.

9.The Dark Knight

You know that you selected the perfect tagline when it’s still being used in memes almost a decade later. This poster unveiled the Joker’s phrase “why so serious?” It also let audiences know that this wasn’t going to be the less threatening version of the Joker they’d seen on screen in the past. Instead, this Joker is clearly demented and violent.

  10.Amadeus

This piece is instantly compelling due to the use of negative space and the ominous looking character at the top. Is he opening his arms to welcome or threaten you? Viewers aren’t certain, and it adds a huge level of drama and intrigue.

  11.Pulp Fiction

Several of the posters that advertised Quinton Tarantino films could have made it onto this list, but “Pulp Fiction” was one of the first to captivate audiences. It feels like the cover to an old pulp novel, and there are many clues in the image of Uma Thurman that provide some insight into the level of action that viewers can expect. At the same time, the calmer, more sensual approach of this particular image is very alluring.

  12.The Invasion

Most of the selections on this list have been stunning due to their beauty or usage of colors and space. “The Invasion” is stunning because the designer chose to forego all of those typical elements in favor of a hastily written message that would instantly strike fear in anyone’s heart. It’s an unconventional and bold choice that works very well for the movie’s genre and subject matter.

  13.American Beauty

When audiences first saw this poster, they were most likely shocked by the implied nudity and sexuality that was combined with a beautiful rose. The poster captures attention without offering any concrete clues about the film’s content, and yet it has rightfully become one of the most easily recognizable movie posters of all time.

  14.The Dark Crystal

Jim Henson’s dark fantasy was ahead of its time. The poster’s designer made the interesting choice of highlighting a villain instead of the heroes. It’s unclear for viewers from a quick glance exactly what this film is about, but the artwork is so beautiful that it’s hard to look away. Billed as a family movie, this poster is a reminder that it really works better as the cult classic that it has become.

  15.Zodiac

The serial killer that “Zodiac” is based on is still at large, which makes the usage of thick fog on this poster even more compelling. After all, you could easily get lost in the fog in the same way that the killer eluded authorities. That unknown feelings robs viewers of their sense of security and helps pull them into the madness that California dealt with in the late ‘60s and early ‘70s.  

  16.Rocketeer

The poster for “Rocketeer” deserves a spot on this list due to the brilliant usage of implied movement. It’s impossible not to feel the excitement of flying while looking at this artwork, and the retro look fits in well with the movie being set in the 1930s.

  17.Hitman: Agent 47

The lines on this poster are bold and almost dizzying. Toss in the splash of red in the middle for visual contrast and you have a movie poster that would make anyone do a double take.

  18.Moonlight

“Moonlight” uses the tagline “This is the story of a lifetime” to pull audiences in, and this was expertly depicted in the imagery chosen for the poster. Splicing three images together from different stages of a person’s life was visually interesting enough, but choosing a different color for each of them really brought the point home.

  19.Ant-Man

Even fans of minimalism were probably stunned when they saw the poster for Marvel’s “Ant-Man.” In fact, if you don’t pay close enough attention, you’ll lose sight of the title character amidst all of the white space. This was a risky approach that paid off big and deserves to be recognized. The designer was probably a bit nervous when pitching a movie poster that was almost completely blank white space, but fortunately, Marvel understood their vision and provided us with this unusual poster.

  20.Star Wars: The Force Awakens

This was arguably the most exciting poster of 2015, and it was a great way to advertise one of the most anticipated films of all time. Splitting the poster between the light and dark sides of the force offers a lot of visual contrast, and placing the main character in the middle of everything makes her true identity an even more intriguing secret.

  21.W

“W” provides another example of a movie poster that is so unusual that it’s stunning. With the stark white background and long list of quotes from the real-life counterpart to the title character, the creator pushed movie posters into an entirely new direction. Undeniably eye-catching, even if that’s primarily because it’s so unusual to see so much text on a movie poster.

  22.Vertigo

A classic example of the perks of using implied motion to draw the viewer in. The usage of the bold red background also attracts attention, especially when contrasted with the presence of white and black.

  23.28 Weeks Later

This poster works on many levels, but it’s most notable for having the appearance of an actual quarantine notice. Giving the poster a folded appearance helps sell the illusion, as does the aged and faded effect that was added to the lettering.

  24.Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street

The bleak subject matter of the film is highlighted in all of the darkness within the poster. The inclusion of a bit of red and one splash of blood combines well with the perspective and evil look on Johnny Depp’s face. This image is captivating to look at it, but it makes it clear that this musical is going to be very dark.

  25.Moulin Rouge

Speaking of musicals, “Moulin Rouge’s” poster is romantic, exciting and sensual. The bright splash of red in Nicole Kidman’s dress instantly draws the viewer in, as does the magnificently chosen lighting.

  26.The Thing

The poster for the 1982 remake of “The Thing” has become a classic, but did you know that it was created in just one day without any movie stills or concept art to use as a reference point? That alone would make this a stunning poster, but it also stands out for being an intriguing piece that gives practically nothing away about the movie.

  27.The Exorcist

  It may seem odd to have a poster for a movie about an exorcism that doesn’t feature the exorcism, the person who is possessed or any of the religious items that are used during an exorcism. Fortunately, the image of a lone man standing with a bag staring at light coming out of a window is far more unnerving than any of those other elements would have been. It’s clear something bad is going to happen, which allows audiences to scare themselves with their imagination.

  28.Silence of the Lambs

This piece has been acclaimed by many experts as one of the best movie posters of all time, and it features a lot of symbolism and some hidden artwork on the back of the moth. The colored eyes draw you in, and the moth leaves you wondering what nasty surprises lurk within the movie.

  29.Metropolis

When a movie poster earns the title of most valuable poster of all time, you know it’s got something going for it. Revered for its aesthetics, this work of art is easily recognized by people who have never even seen the film. There’s a reason it has become a beloved classic; it’s absolutely stunning.

  30.Alien

  The beauty of the “Alien” poster is that it makes viewers uneasy without actually showing anything that’s truly scary or intimidating. The negative space and eerie glow coming from the egg are enough to scare people, and that makes the execution of this poster a big winner.

Hundreds of movie posters are designed each year, but only a handful will be so stunning that people still display and analyze them many years later. The examples on this list are all in that category, though, and they definitely offer inspiration for graphic designers who want their work to attract a lot of attention. Bonus: Want more awesome movie posters? Check out these 10 amazing modern posters.

Read More at 30 Absolutely Stunning Movie Posters

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30 Absolutely Stunning Movie Posters

Movie posters give graphic designers a very large canvas to work on, which has resulted in some truly stunning and memorable work. The design work that goes into creating these posters can have a big impact on whether or not a movie is ultimately successful, so there’s a lot of pressure put on each designer’s shoulders. Fortunately, when the right blend of eye-catching and relevant is put together, it’s hard for audiences not to get excited after seeing the poster. Let’s take a closer look at 30 movie posters that represent the very best in this particular graphic design niche.   1.Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice The movie was met with mixed reviews and proved to be very divisive among fans, but this poster definitely delivers the goods. The evocative “false god” statement written on Superman’s chest would have been enough to capture attention, but the dark, comic book styled art truly set the tone for the film.   2.Escape from New York The Statue of Liberty’s head draws viewers in, and the purposeful slant added to the wording on this poster adds visual intrigue. Combine that with the implied motion of the characters on the street, and it’s practically impossible not to pause for a moment and take everything in.   3.Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope The art that was used for the original “Star Wars” movie is absolutely gorgeous and has become instantly recognizable. The artist’s choice of colors, placement and elements from the film is exciting and promises a thrill ride. Fortunately, the movie was able to fulfill the high expectations that were generated by such a wonderful piece of art.   4.Cloverfield The “Cloverfield” poster seems almost like a clever nod to the “Escape from New York” image. After all, here’s the rest of the Statue of Liberty. The decision to depict a decapitated symbol of America proved to be a great choice. Adding the smoke in the distance made the poster even stronger. This poster succeeded in making movie lovers instantly curious, and it didn’t give away any of the film’s secrets.   5.A Clockwork Orange Whether you love or hate this controversial classic from Stanley Kubrick, it’s hard not to appreciate the artistry that went into the poster. The usage of white space ensures your eyes are drawn to the main character, and it’s easy to see that this is not going to be your average movie.   6.Walk the Line Bold lines and colors are always a good way to capture attention, and this poster provides an excellent example of this approach. The designer behind this “Walk the Line” poster also used elements of Johnny Cash’s career and personality to make it instantly attractive to fans of Cash’s music.   7.Raiders of the Lost Ark The muted background tones worked very well for this poster because they enabled the main character to stand out and demand attention. Flanking Indiana Jones on both sides with other characters helped offer a few clues regarding the film’s subject matter and plot, but the main driving point is the excitement of a whip wielding hero.   8.The Spirit When you make a movie about an old and relatively obscure comic book character, you need to have a hook to bring audiences in. This poster delivered quite nicely. The juxtaposition of the vivid red with the black and white tones is eye-catching, and the large wording begs to be read. 9.The Dark Knight You know that you selected the perfect tagline when it’s still being used in memes almost a decade later. This poster unveiled the Joker’s phrase “why so serious?” It also let audiences know that this wasn’t going to be the less threatening version of the Joker they’d seen on screen in the past. Instead, this Joker is clearly demented and violent.   10.Amadeus This piece is instantly compelling due to the use of negative space and the ominous looking character at the top. Is he opening his arms to welcome or threaten you? Viewers aren’t certain, and it adds a huge level of drama and intrigue.   11.Pulp Fiction Several of the posters that advertised Quinton Tarantino films could have made it onto this list, but “Pulp Fiction” was one of the first to captivate audiences. It feels like the cover to an old pulp novel, and there are many clues in the image of Uma Thurman that provide some insight into the level of action that viewers can expect. At the same time, the calmer, more sensual approach of this particular image is very alluring.   12.The Invasion Most of the selections on this list have been stunning due to their beauty or usage of colors and space. “The Invasion” is stunning because the designer chose to forego all of those typical elements in favor of a hastily written message that would instantly strike fear in anyone’s heart. It’s an unconventional and bold choice that works very well for the movie’s genre and subject matter.   13.American Beauty When audiences first saw this poster, they were most likely shocked by the implied nudity and sexuality that was combined with a beautiful rose. The poster captures attention without offering any concrete clues about the film’s content, and yet it has rightfully become one of the most easily recognizable movie posters of all time.   14.The Dark Crystal Jim Henson’s dark fantasy was ahead of its time. The poster’s designer made the interesting choice of highlighting a villain instead of the heroes. It’s unclear for viewers from a quick glance exactly what this film is about, but the artwork is so beautiful that it’s hard to look away. Billed as a family movie, this poster is a reminder that it really works better as the cult classic that it has become.   15.Zodiac The serial killer that “Zodiac” is based on is still at large, which makes the usage of thick fog on this poster even more compelling. After all, you could easily get lost in the fog in the same way that the killer eluded authorities. That unknown feelings robs viewers of their sense of security and helps pull them into the madness that California dealt with in the late ‘60s and early ‘70s.     16.Rocketeer The poster for “Rocketeer” deserves a spot on this list due to the brilliant usage of implied movement. It’s impossible not to feel the excitement of flying while looking at this artwork, and the retro look fits in well with the movie being set in the 1930s.   17.Hitman: Agent 47 The lines on this poster are bold and almost dizzying. Toss in the splash of red in the middle for visual contrast and you have a movie poster that would make anyone do a double take.   18.Moonlight “Moonlight” uses the tagline “This is the story of a lifetime” to pull audiences in, and this was expertly depicted in the imagery chosen for the poster. Splicing three images together from different stages of a person’s life was visually interesting enough, but choosing a different color for each of them really brought the point home.   19.Ant-Man Even fans of minimalism were probably stunned when they saw the poster for Marvel’s “Ant-Man.” In fact, if you don’t pay close enough attention, you’ll lose sight of the title character amidst all of the white space. This was a risky approach that paid off big and deserves to be recognized. The designer was probably a bit nervous when pitching a movie poster that was almost completely blank white space, but fortunately, Marvel understood their vision and provided us with this unusual poster.   20.Star Wars: The Force Awakens This was arguably the most exciting poster of 2015, and it was a great way to advertise one of the most anticipated films of all time. Splitting the poster between the light and dark sides of the force offers a lot of visual contrast, and placing the main character in the middle of everything makes her true identity an even more intriguing secret.   21.W “W” provides another example of a movie poster that is so unusual that it’s stunning. With the stark white background and long list of quotes from the real-life counterpart to the title character, the creator pushed movie posters into an entirely new direction. Undeniably eye-catching, even if that’s primarily because it’s so unusual to see so much text on a movie poster.   22.Vertigo A classic example of the perks of using implied motion to draw the viewer in. The usage of the bold red background also attracts attention, especially when contrasted with the presence of white and black.   23.28 Weeks Later This poster works on many levels, but it’s most notable for having the appearance of an actual quarantine notice. Giving the poster a folded appearance helps sell the illusion, as does the aged and faded effect that was added to the lettering.   24.Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street The bleak subject matter of the film is highlighted in all of the darkness within the poster. The inclusion of a bit of red and one splash of blood combines well with the perspective and evil look on Johnny Depp’s face. This image is captivating to look at it, but it makes it clear that this musical is going to be very dark.   25.Moulin Rouge Speaking of musicals, “Moulin Rouge’s” poster is romantic, exciting and sensual. The bright splash of red in Nicole Kidman’s dress instantly draws the viewer in, as does the magnificently chosen lighting.   26.The Thing The poster for the 1982 remake of “The Thing” has become a classic, but did you know that it was created in just one day without any movie stills or concept art to use as a reference point? That alone would make this a stunning poster, but it also stands out for being an intriguing piece that gives practically nothing away about the movie.   27.The Exorcist   It may seem odd to have a poster for a movie about an exorcism that doesn’t feature the exorcism, the person who is possessed or any of the religious items that are used during an exorcism. Fortunately, the image of a lone man standing with a bag staring at light coming out of a window is far more unnerving than any of those other elements would have been. It’s clear something bad is going to happen, which allows audiences to scare themselves with their imagination.   28.Silence of the Lambs This piece has been acclaimed by many experts as one of the best movie posters of all time, and it features a lot of symbolism and some hidden artwork on the back of the moth. The colored eyes draw you in, and the moth leaves you wondering what nasty surprises lurk within the movie.   29.Metropolis When a movie poster earns the title of most valuable poster of all time, you know it’s got something going for it. Revered for its aesthetics, this work of art is easily recognized by people who have never even seen the film. There’s a reason it has become a beloved classic; it’s absolutely stunning.   30.Alien   The beauty of the “Alien” poster is that it makes viewers uneasy without actually showing anything that’s truly scary or intimidating. The negative space and eerie glow coming from the egg are enough to scare people, and that makes the execution of this poster a big winner. Hundreds of movie posters are designed each year, but only a handful will be so stunning that people still display and analyze them many years later. The examples on this list are all in that category, though, and they definitely offer inspiration for graphic designers who want their work to attract a lot of attention. Bonus: Want more awesome movie posters? Check out these 10 amazing modern posters. Read More at 30 Absolutely Stunning Movie Posters http://dlvr.it/NYSRz2 www.regulardomainname.com