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fadelbison · 8 months ago

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Well something kind of funny just happened but I think it actually proves my point even more so here goes: I was trying to construct an argument about how the discourse around Thai branded pairs being 'real' or 'fake' is so short sighted and insular because what fans are trying to ask is "do you love and fuck each other within this rigid heteronormative lens" but what they ask is more along the lines of "are your feelings for each other real" and when people answer with a resounding 'YES!' it suddenly turns into lying when the answer to the implicit question turns out to be no.

But the truth is that the relationships between human beings are very complex and things can be intense, real and even be passionate without it falling under romance. I think this is especially true within queer friendships where being a little bit in love with your friends is at this point a widely accepted phenomenon. Anyone here whose job feels less like a job and more like a Trial By Fire knows that the bonds between you and your coworker are very, very real. And one of those jobs is acting - period. In the context of branded pairs that partnership suddenly amps up in intensity until you truly are having a very unique experience with only ONE other person in the entire world. This was of course all leading up to Krist and Singto, about how Krist really, genuinely likes Singto SO much, about that one (recent??) interview that I can no longer find where Singto said that he had to reassure KRIST that he wasn't leaving because of him - about how it's not always clear to the people experiencing the relationship itself what is truly happening between them. And part of that argument was going to include a small anecdote about a friendship breakup I had with a friend I used to do theatre with in middle-high school.

Well. This post is no longer focused on KristSingto so let's just get into the anecdote:

When I was in the 8th grade I started an unusual friendship with an 11th grader (Z) because we used to do theatre together. Many things made it unusual - we were of the opposite gender, a 4 year age gap at that age is HUGE, but also that he was a very reticent dude that almost never hung out with ANY juniors let alone female ones. But we became friends because:

1) We were scene partners, in fact, I was playing Zs secretary so every single one of my scenes was with him, I was almost never backstage without him because my entire role was following him around and saving him from the evil machinations of his adviser. We were backstage alone a lot because our entry and exit cues hugely overlap

2) I was nursing a horrible, terrible crush on a different 8th grader (B) also in the production and somehow this scary, reticent older dude was a HUGE gossip.

3) Z told me several years later that him befriending me during the production was part of a terrible matchmaking plot that the 11th graders had hatched to get me and B together because apparently our yearning for each other was difficult to witness. B had his own 11th grade buddy (the evil advisor in fact lol) coaching him. Spoiler: It didn't work b/c 11th grade boys make for TERRIBLE matchmakers.

But Z and I bonded in a way that was eye catching, part of that was because we were killing it on stage. We had amazing chemistry and we were kids so no one was coaching us to have chemistry. We just did because we trusted each other.

I cannot stress this enough that we were a comedy duo, our scenes were not even remotely romantic in nature. He was the King and I was his Jester but still people were buzzing from just watching our practices. I had unknown random girls come up to me to ask about my relationship with Z (people are always nosy about connection lol). Not only did the 11th graders FAIL but their very plot was one of the big reasons why B and I never got together because B would go on to believe for YEARS after that I was in love with Z 😭

Anyway, Z and I stayed great friends for long, long after that production and well into our adulthoods. A lot of our early years was me being sad over my unrequited love for B but I had more interests lol. We were basically ride or die and even had a marriage pact. We planned our honeymoon, we talked about what our married life would be like. We were completely platonic friends. We stayed good friends long distance for several years when I moved away for school. The friendship ended because I found out he was lying to his GF (now wife!!) about when he'd come to see me/hang out with me. And that was so disrespectful to both me and the girlfriend that I told him that we'll only hang out again if he introduced me to his GF. The reason why this never happened could have been because of a lack of opportunity since I live in a different country but we did completely stop talking after this.

Anyone who's actually managed to read all that is probably like girl your relationship was not COMPLETELY platonic. And like...yeah I'm realizing that now. Getting some clarity on a friendship breakup from 8 years ago that had caused me a lot of pain only because I started writing about it because KristSingto decided to simulate nasty fucking on stage.

Anyway, life is weird and KristSingto are about as real or fake as any other human relationship 🤷🏽‍♀️

#nani's public personal diary #what am I doing #why does my high school life sound like an asian drama #I assure you I was quite the boring child????

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my-lady-galadriel · 2 years ago

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My thoughts about the last season of “Carnival Row” (WARNING ⚠️ There are SPOILERS!)

- The plot is intriguing, but too complex for only ten episodes. The final resolution seems weak and a bit forced.

- Vignette the worst character of all 😤 I loved her in the first season, I understood her trauma and her struggles, I thought Philo hurt her too much... and, in this final season, she becomes a sort of fickle teenager who blames the others not only for their mistakes but also for hers?! Damn it, she is incapable of taking her own responsibilities ‒ in contrast with Darius and Tourmaline, who suffered a lot but behave like adults.

- Tourmaline the “replacement�� of Philo? Seriously?! Folks, Tourmaline deserves a partner who puts her first. Vignette goes with her only because she is an easier choice than Philo 😑

- Darius’ death is awful and pointless. I’m not particularly involved in his relationship with Tourmaline, but their connection is undeniable... and then the screenwriters decide to kill him 😫 Why?!

- Imogen ad Agreus are cute together, but their tension after Ezra’s death seems over-the-top to me. Agreus has never tried to “control” Imogen; her accusation is a nonsense.

- Poor Berwick shouldn’t be dead 😭

- The failed improvement of the Parliament is demoralizing.

- Last but not least: Philo’s development that misses the target. For heaven’s sake, stop torturing this poor man! He must learn to love and forgive himself, but the screenwriters continue to pick on him! At the end he seems to accept his status of half-blood, but that’s not enough: he is hurt (both physically and emotionally) and lost hope. Yes, he made horrible mistakes, but he gets smacked almost all the time... and he thinks he doesn’t deserve Vignette (Vignette, who abandoned him in prison without batting an eye!), like in the first season ☹ This is unfair. Philo doesn’t love himself enough and is alone, while he deserves affection, compassion and forgiveness. What a disastrous conclusion 😔

#carnival row #carnival row season 2 #such a waste of time #i'm so disappointed #vignette stonemoss #rycroft philostrate #philo #philo and vignette #tourmaline larou #tourmaline and vignette #tourmalline and darius #darius prowell #constable berwick #imogen and agreus #i'm trying to be coherent #english is not my native language

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thewistlingbadger · 3 months ago

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Jayce pros and cons list (SPOILER FREE)

Arcane is a show with so much nuance and so many layers that it's not surprising that most people in the fandom cant agree on stances of characters. However, surprising to me, Jayce Talis is one of the more devisive characters in the fandom. Some people think he's alright while others can't stand his ass. In honor of that and season two, I'm making the pros and cons list for Jayce.

CONS

Prejudiced: In a bridge scene in season one, it was made clear that Jayce holds prejudice against zaunites. He basically tells Viktor that he "isn't like them." This in addition to some previous comments he's made don't make him look good.

Canon child killer: Jayce canonically killed a kid with Vi's help while attacking Silco's shimmer factory. That's horrible.

Abuse of power: Jayce abuses his power as a councilor by going after Silco's factory without the permission of the rest of the council AND he involves a citizen (vi) in his rogue mission!

Inconsiderate/Irresponsible: Jayce really doesn't think about the consequences when it comes to things. Had Vi gotten hurt or died while attacking Silco's factory, that would have been on Jayce. Way before he becomes a counselor, he had been doing experiments in his apartment with dangerous equipment. He clearly did not think of how what he was doing could have endangered others or himself. There's something he does in season two and another thing that we learn he did that falls under this umbrella but I wont say what it is.

Corrupt: Once Jayce becomes a politician, it doesn't take him long to start being shady and go against his principles.

Bad friend: Jayce doesn't treat Viktor in the way he should. He has sex with his crush while Viktor is basically dying, spends a lot of time away from him once it's confirmed he's gonna die soon, and even goes against promises he's made to Viktor and against their shared principles (See season two but also he said he wasn't gonna make weapons and the hammer and gauntlets were made and used as weapons). He makes Viktor endure a micro aggression in one of their discussions (the bridge).

Heimerdinger: Jayce is the reason that Heimerdinger is no longer on the council. This ended up having devastating effects for both piltover and zaun. This act was also made due to his emotions, so this decision wasn't all that valid.

PROS

Accountability: Almost every time Jayce does something he bad he immediately realizes afterwards that what he did was wrong AND he takes action to correct his mistakes. He immediately apologies to Viktor after making a prejudiced comment. He immediately feels guilt for killing that kid, he stops fighting, and he tries to get Vi to stop too. He's also able to realize that he and Viktor have failed the Hextech dream.

Peace: Jayce is the only councilor that pushes for peace. He makes up a treaty on his own, gives it to Silco, AND pushes the vote in the council. There would have been peace between the two cities had it not been for the attack.

Heimerdinger: Heimerdinger clearly was NOT fit to be a councilor. He was out of touch of with everyone and many suffered under his watch. And Jayce is the one responsible for his removal. In a sense, bravo Jayce.

Tolerance: This a counterpoint the prejudice claim I made earlier. We know that Jayce went the undercity and bought goods there all by himself. And we also know that he loves Viktor, he's his work partner and best friend. So clearly he's not a raging asshole, he's just got minor issues to work on.

Good friend: Jayce saves Viktor's life when Viktor tries to kill himself. He rushes to Viktor's aide when he hears he's sick and needs aide. He's willing to do anything to save Viktor from dying. He listens to Viktor, respects him, and he genuinely loves him. There's something that happens in season 2 that also falls under this.

Good person: At his core, Jayce is a good person. He's not making hextech for money or fame or even to stroke his own ego; he's doing it to help people. His desire to help others never wavers despite all that changes from act 1 to act 3. And he is successful in his goal. The hex gates helped people and he is regarded highly in piltover for how he's helped people. Even heimerdinger, who was originally against Jayce, ends up admiring Jayce.

Honor: Jayce does his best to honor everyone's wishes. One of the first things we see him do post fame IS honor heimerdinger's advice, despite the fact that Jayce didn't like it. He goes out into a crowd, whom are all expecting to hear something great, only to give them nothing because he respects his teacher. He also does is best to honor Viktor's wishes as well.

Vulnerable: We see a lot of times where Jayce is vulnerable. This can be argued as a weakness but I see it as a strength because it humanizes him and shows that he's a good person.

So what are my thoughts? Jayce is one of the most normal characters in arcane. He's just some guy trying to do right by others and himself. He ends up getting caught in poor situations, some of which are of his own doing and others being because of the situations others put him in (heimerdinger, mel, the council, the undercity, etc). He's a flawed person, which makes him he really important to the story of arcane as well as really refreshing. I don't think he deserves hate but also we can't ignore what he's done wrong. Ultimately, however, I see him as a good person because he has good intentions and learns from his mistakes.

#mic does analysis #arcane #jayce talis

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mywingsareonwheels · 1 year ago

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Characters whose best and worst actions all come from the same motivating factor my beloveds. <3 That is delicious shit.

I'm trying to think of lots (honestly Pratchett specialised in this), but mostly I'm obsessed with this wrt Fred Thursday and the fact that nearly everything he does comes from the relentless drive to protect a) his loved ones (including Morse, obviously, but also including Charlie, frustrating as he is), b) vulnerable people, especially children and teenagers but also e.g. elderly abuse victims, c) anyone he feels responsible for and he has a tendency to feel responsible for a lot of people.

More on this behind the cut, including Endeavour spoilers up to the end of s9, and mention of deaths, bullying, abuse.

And you can see where it comes from. Child abuse survivor with two brothers, one of whom has now died (we don't know when); and I think it's implied at least that he isn't the youngest of the three. I think at some point, maybe even when he was a kid, he decided that he would be a protector rather than an abuser of his family and community; that he would be different from his dad. Whenever that decision occurred, it absolutely set up his entire life.

Then he went from that to (reading some very clear spaces between the lines) protecting his community against both fascists and his fellow police officers in the Battle of Cable Street[1]. Then the war, and becoming an NCO, and losing men he felt responsible for, losing Italian resistance fighters he'd worked with and loved. Then Mickey Carter. Then all the many and varied events of Endeavour, but I think above all the death of Fancy.

We see him be compassionate and heroic and understanding and so deeply, profoundly caring and gentle because of that protective urge. We see him make heartrendingly understandable mistakes and be entrapped by the machinations of people far more subtle than him. We see him make horrible, dreadful decisions, be ferociously violent. And all of it ultimately all three spring form that protectiveness.

We know that he repeatedly saves Morse, provides a safe home, helps save others. We know that he's never stopped being a magnificent anti-fascist. We know that he'll risk his life for children in a heartbeat (nearly dying simply for the possibility of rescuing a troubled lad in "Neverland"), help an abuse victim cover up the murder of her husband, reassure a queer woman in the aftermath of her partner's murder. And oh goodness, just... all of his relationship with Morse, both as mentor and as protector. The coat blanket, and secretly paying Monica to check in on Morse, and "there's a town needs looking to", and "corned beef", and "take as long as you need", and "the sun always comes up".

We know that his attempt to protect Joan from her abusive partner backfires horrendously and that he manages to make her feel hounded. We know that Sam never admitted he was being bullied at school because he was afraid of how his father would react. We see Fred kill twice to protect Morse, and once to protect Sam, and we nearly see him kill to protect Joan. We see him do his best, over and over again, to help and support Morse, while also trying to spare his blushes by being (frustratingly) covert about it a lot of the time. We see him defend Morse, Sam, anybody else to Bright, to authority figures in general, sometimes in ways that help; often in ways that don't.

We know that he never seems to feel that it's enough, that every loss he experiences despite his efforts to protect that person leaves him shattered. We know that he is burned out by the beginning of series 6, let alone 9. We know that he is capable of profound growth and wisdom, but that when under stress he defaults to "I must protect this person whatever the cost", and then hates himself whether he succeeds or fails. We also know that when he's tunnel-visioned on saving one person, he sometimes neglects others.

It's... aaah it's so interesting. His protectiveness is a wonderful, moving quality, and honestly a huge part of why I love him so much as a character. There's something enormously nurturing about Fred and his protectiveness - he's anything but just a pair of fists with a badge. But then when that very same quality leads him into such dark places... it's so compelling, and so dreadfully human.

[1] No wonder, honestly, he has a more... flexible approach to the law and the rules than Morse does. He's seen (in the East End, in Italy, etc.) where following the rules exactly can lead the police; his reliance on his own morality rather than the law does come from a damn good and necessary place, whatever it leads him to. He's lived through a time when being willing to break the rules has made him a better man and a safer person to be around. I find it extremely easy to believe similarly that during the years of his career where homosexuality was illegal, he did a lot of making darn sure he didn't see anything he was supposed to pay attention to. (Insert here some extremely complicated feelings and thoughts about the difference between Fred's flavour of rule-breaking and what we get in the police in the real world. At his very worst, he's still better. *sighs*)

#itv endeavour #fred thursday #morseverse #endeavour s9 spoilers #endeavour s9 #endeavour spoilers #tw abuse mention #tw fascism mention

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crumb · 2 years ago

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Marcus from Laid orrrrr Romeo from Flesh and Bone for the character ask!

Oooh! I'll choose Marcus 😈 WARNING—below will contain spoilers for the show Laid (2011-12) First impression: "Oh NOOOOO—Damon, what did they do to you!?" Impression now: "ok could be worse, definitely not great tho...." Favorite moment: The episode where he's trying to hit on women and spectacularly failing because he's a terrible guy with very little redeeming qualities 😭 Also, Damon's dad plays a bartender in the pub in that episode which is cute! Idea for a story: I would kill for an AU where he's not a terrible person??? or at least does have some kind of redemption, but that might be hard to pull off without going full OOC. He's definitely a 'hurt people, hurt people' kind of character Unpopular opinion: ok like obv they did A LOT to make him look "unattractive" and made his character say... horrible stuff. But there was this sliver of patheticness that I feel could have MAYBE been fleshed out to make him redeemable.... maybe. Also I feel like, yes Marcus is kinda terrible... BUT he WAS doing good. He was literally healing people. And Roo ruined that all so she could have sex with her boyfriend/save his life (stop trying to have sex with him!?) Like... I don't know that feels kinda fucked up bc if she got Marcus' power, you know she's not going to use it to heal people like he was. And now he's stuck with her curse of killing ppl he's had sex with. WHICH ALSO, does that mean everyone he's previously healed is now doomed to die/get sick again???? Like he killed someone on accident because of Roo, and who knows how many other people if it affects past sexual partners??? idk man the ending kinda made me mad lmao. Favorite relationship: His "relationship" with Roo, it had so many ups and downs and I honestly felt bad for him at the end of it all because he actually fell in love with her for a moment there and she straight up lied to him. Favorite headcanon: idk I sometimes like to think it was all bullshit. Like what if her ex-sexual partners dying and all that was just a freak coincidence and Marcus' "power" was kinda the same? Like some bizarre placebo/coincidence. Though the ending kinda ruins that lol.

#spaghettistainedundies #laid 2011 #ask game #ask

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cicaklah · 2 years ago

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star trek picard episodes 1-3 thots

THE THOTS ARE BACK

So this post directly follows on from the angry freakout I had earlier this week where I live incepted myself into watching picard season 3 ride or die, because sometimes you've just got to go down to the highway and watch the car crash in person.

also, I reminded myself that I dont care about other people's star trek opinions, only my own. therefore, I needed to have star trek opinions.

here are my thots, here be spoilers

first off: gates mcfadden's face lift is fucking spectacular, the woman looks amazing. Her eye sockets are so sculpted, her cheeks are so taut, her jawline is so sharp, and yet she still looks her age. this is what growing old in the socialist utopia promises: you too can look like a woman who has not actually had to work since the early 90s. also credit to everyone looking great in their 60s, 70s and 80s.

second: jack crusher (the second??!?! how does that work anyway), is so fucking hot.

third: I went into this knowing broadly what happened in episode 1 and 2, and that episode 3 the twist is changelings, because I saw a spoiler yesterday on una mccormack's tumblr. changelings is interesting, because to do a ds9 plot in tng is bold, especially when you can't bring odo back since ya man rene audeboujournois died a few years ago. worf doesnt even mention him by name: ffs worf raffi was alive during the dominion war, she'll know who fucking odo is. he's odo.

fourth: the moment I was like, I am here for the long run was Worf's whole introduction and his everything. I think its always hard to give credit to michael dorn for being so great because he has to act stoic through SO much makeup and he just is worf, but honestly, it felt like if they'd just put the black hair on him he would have looked exactly the same as he did thirty years ago. Like they had to make his hair white just to make time have passed. The man is so well preserved, maybe he also has a very good surgeon, but I am down to believe that he just Is Like That. Damn.

five: worf is the best thing that happened to raffi, I love them together, they are the best team.

six: all of this is going to fall apart when brent spiner comes to Lore it all up, as that is obviously what was stolen from the daystrom institute alongside the portal gun.

seven: so episode 3 won me over because I had kind of forgotten how good an actor patstew is when he really gives it?? because fuck me the scene between beverly and picard where they talk about how the whole baby thing happened was so good, so subtle, so emotive. It also crucially made sense: they had tried to be together. they had failed to be together. crusher was tired of his shit, he's always been a terrible partner and it just didn't work, but then she was pregnant and ready to leave anyway, ready to move on, so just went, fine, breakup over, beverly out. Also, reminded picard that the universe keeps trying to kill him, that he'd basically killed her husband and her son, and she had no other family....thanks for the sperm donation, I'm gonna go retire and have a redo. I was already 100% team bev but now I am 200% team bev, also fuck off picard with your 'oh yeah actually I wouldn't have been my horrible abusive father fuck you for taking me at my word, my whole /r/childfree carefree bachelor attitude, how could I have known anything about myself in my early 60s, I was but a boy, we could have had it all, rolling in the deep' etc. Father and husband fuck the fuck off you traditionalist old bastard you just told us you had broken up for the FIFTH TIME.

eight: should have reserved point seven for seven herself but: SEVEN!!!! I am fucking going to do it, I'm going to write the seven of nineifesto. She is so fucking deep waters, shes been so betrayed by authority figures none of who actually give a shit about whats best for her, just for what is best for the story, she is not meant to be in starfleet ffs, she got the worst possibly mentors in janeway and picard. also seven and raffi just need to hang out with worf and tell the rest of them to fuck off.

nine: captain shaw was right and he should say it. He was having a nice time, just running his ship, doing his duty, when he gets fucking hijacked by two guys who literally are mavericks and crash ships all the time, who are manipulating seven, who MUTINIES, and they literally destroy his ship and ruin his life in the space of about 12 hours and he saw through their bullshit within 30 seconds of the 'surprise inspection' gig. justice for captain liam shaw, only sane man on the titan.

ten: look, the show is never going to stick the landing, but like all star trek, it is a journey. there are changelings, there is worf, there is raffi, there is my forthcoming 200k seven of nine fix it fic, there is so much to enjoy, and also there was the absolutely awful deaging makeup, please stop doing it, it made me feel seasick.

anyway these are my thots on yaoi kthxbye

#star trek picard #picard thots #picard #picard season 3

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charaznablescanontoyota · 11 months ago

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ok wait further thoughts on this au below the cut. FULL SPOILERS

team short motherfucker co-owns a jaeger named Crazy Train (their superior officers keep petitioning them to rename it. they wont)

this au would largely be set at some remote shatterdome in alaska or smth, coastal but middle of fucking nowhere/cold all the time. home for misfit teens that did pretty well in the pilot program but are fucked up for various reasons and need new drift partners/have to re-take all the compatibility tests

shadow is a government experiment still. failed program to combine human and kaiju dna that ended up being drift compatible with maria. maria died, gerald still got put in jail, and shadow got shunted off to alaska (he was definitely supposed to get captured or killed or whatever but somebody let him off easy)

trish was in a really notorious group of italian pilots and 50% of them got killed horribly due to just general mismanagement at that shatterdome. had her own jaeger named Spice Girl and also pilots one with shoka (Cat Scratch Fever)

shigeo has his own jaeger named Mob Psycho and is really easily drift compatible with people but his jaeger/psyche have like. dark energies. people get sucked into the drift and have a hard time coming back out. he burns through partners really easily and has no idea why. he shouldn’t be able to bc of cognitive overload but he can pilot Mob Psycho solo in a pinch

audrey is literally just some guy who came up through the teen program but she got too many demerits and had an insane breakup with her drift partner (emma) so she got transferred. she has no idea everyone else in her cohort is infamous

al used to pilot the Fullmetal Alchemist with ed but they got in a fucked up disaster that left ed missing an arm and a leg and al comatose and ghost drifting with the jaeger/ed for several years. it got resolved at the cost of the elric brothers can’t drift anymore or al might never come out of it. they both got transferred to separate shatterdomes. al is mostly doing comms stuff now because he’s scared to pilot

carrie has sort of a similar situation to mob i think??? weird drift problems but can handle the psychic load of piloting alone

jason and roxas both got dumped by their drift partners (jason almost died, roxas just kind of took off) and ended up here and they pilot together. i think they have one of the jaegers that can fit three people and shoka occasionally jumps in. roxas has a similar thing to shadow where he was genetically modified to be a perfect drift partner for one specific person. he hates it

nobody actually really knows where shoka came from and most of the higher-ups can’t stand her but she is actually a pretty good co-pilot when she manages to be drift compatible with someone so they let her slide. she hangs out in the comms center and spills coffee on al’s paperwork and the computer consoles when no one is running interference on her

komaeda is a k-labs intern who nobody wants to interact with except mob who got trapped in the freight elevator with him once and now they inexplicably get lunch together every wednesday

fugo was in trish’s italian pilot cohort and gets transferred to alaska eventually and its huge drama. he’s not drift compatible with trish anymore and they both pretend to be really regular about it. [shadow voice] mad that she has cooler drift partners now aren’t you pudding boy

idk simon is there i guess

amelia and bruce are ostensibly running the place but nobody really respects them.

varian is amelia’s personal assistant (unpaid intern) and a jaeger mechanic

[guy about to say something incredibly predictable voice] interstitial infinity pacrim au

#interstitial infinity

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alexjcrowley · 2 years ago

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Miss Kringle's fate: A Useless Essay on the Masks of Abuse and Respecting Equilibriums

(Spoiler for Gotham s2)

I am watching season 2 of Gotham and I finally came to the death of Miss Kringle. I'll have to make a premise: I knew she was going to die already (I spoiled myself quite a lot of the show) and Edward was going to kill her. I had thought, knowing nothing more than these two pieces of information, I would hated Edward for this death. I thought he was going to make a 180 degrees turn, become all of a sudden a horrible man who kills the woman who maybe wanted to break up with him, the epitomy of the violent misogynist. I was wrong, and I am pleased about it. I still think Edward is misogynist, just not in the way I think he would have been, in a way I find more sophisticated.

First of all, to analyse Miss Kringle's death, we have to understand why she was killed. I am usually hesitant to automatically define the killing of every woman as a feminicide, I prefer to use that term only when the motive behind the killing of a woman is directly connected to her gender. What I mean is, if there's a bank robbery and they kill a woman because she was the banker and the thugs needed her dead to steal the money, I personally prefer to simply use the word homicide. If a woman is killed by her partner because she wanted to leave them, especially if that partner is a man, I call that feminicide. That's probably just me, but I say that because I thought, before watching the scene, Edward was going to kill Miss Kringle just because she wanted to leave him. It has to be acknowledged he had another reason for his actions, maybe even more important than the fail of their relationship, which is that she was threatening to tell the police he had killed Tom Dougherty. Ed's reaction does not only depend on his broken heart, but on a very practical reason: he doesn't want to go to jail. As much as he seems to only ask for Kristen not to insult him, there are other reasonings in action behind he keeping her mouth shut and stopping her from leaving the apartment. He doesn't just kill her because "woman weak, man strong, man needs to teach woman lesson". He isn't showing he is the strongest in the relationship, he is trying to protect himself. Does that mean he is not guilt of misogyny? Hell no. But I love how the show treats that.

You see, I was worried Edward was going to turn into Dougherty n. 2, especially with the Riddler saying things like Miss Kringle owed them her love and that women likes their guys a little violent. You have become the very thing you swore to destroy, blah blah blah. But that's not wbat the show does, it's not the Riddler to kill Miss Kringle, it's Edward, and he does it staying true to himself.

Let's get a clear vision of the situation: Edward fucked up by telling Miss Kringle he killed Officer Dougherty. It may surprise you what I am going tp tell you, but I understand Edward. First of all, he was genuinely trying to reassure Miss Kringle. The poor girl was worried she was going to get killed for having another boyfriend, Edward was trying to bring her out of her paranoia. Second: there are moments you feel so connected and so in love with someone, you think you could tell them anything. Spoiler: you can't. Most of the time, you fuck up by being too blunt or revealing them something bad about you, this very romantic idea that your person will love forever and ever the entirety of you is not very realistic. I blame lots of romance books, movies and shows for planting this idea into our head, and especially movies for making us believe that real life is just like a film, that there are scenes too romantic and perfect to be spoiled by a single wrong comment. Usually, when you fuck up a moment like that in real life, you are not confessing a murder to your loved one. Edward was, bad luck. I mentioned romance books and movies and tv shows because I genuinely believe Edward mainly relies, on the subject of romance, on those rather than real life experience. I think Edward thought for a moment he was in a movie and he was the hero, now that he got the girl the story simply ended with a "and they lived happily ever after", nothing could ever change that.

Now Miss Kringle's reaction is completely understandable, she gets scared and she starts insulting Edward. Was that the best strategy to go out of that situation? No, of course not, but can you blame her? She just found out her boyfriend is murderer, and quite proud of it.

Anyway, that's when the fun starts. As I said before, Edward DOES NOT switch to the Riddler, he stays himself the entire time. We have to analyse his words and his actions separately.

Let's start with his words. He is pleading. He is embarrassed, he is ashamed, he is clearly losing the verbal debate. Miss Kringle is the aggressive one, Edward is helpless, almost at loss for words, he just prays not to be insulted. He tries to keep repeating his reasons behind his action, but that just makes things worse (Kristen calls him a stalker). This guy is fragile. His ego was already shattered and Kristen is basically beating a dead horse. Miss Kringle is winning, Edward is losing, badly. He is the scared, he is making up excuses, she is insulting him and threatening him. He keeps showing devotion and love to her hoping this will calme her down. He doesn't suddenly turn Tom Dougherty, he doesn't go "You stupid bitch, I saved you, you owe me!", consciously he is aware he is wrong. His words are the part of himself he can control, and with that part he begs for forgiveness and pity. If we were to only hear their dialogue, I'd imagine she is throwing stuff at him while he is curled in fetal position on the floor. Even her more cutting insults don't make him consciously retaliate against her, threating her to kill her like he did with her ex boyfriend, Edward is acting like the weak one.

Now switch it up, and let's analyse their actions: Miss Kringle is running away, logically, Edward is chasing her. I think their movements represent what they're truly feeling in the moment. They have control over their words but their movements reveal their intentions: Miss Kringle may appear aggressive with the insults, but she is scared and she knows she is the one in danger, she wants to get out of the apartment. Obviously Edward is chasing her to regain, at least physically, some closeness, but then, when she tries to run away completely from the apartment he doesn't simply follow her in the stairs or even the streets, he keeps her in the apartment with physical strength. He is asking for forgiveness on the outside, on the inside he knows he also needs to worry about not ending up in prison, and that's what will happen if he let Kristen go. She hits him multiple times, he is hurt, physically and emotionally, but he has a frenzy in his movements, he doesn't take the time to check his wounds, bring a hand to his face, he is immediately on her. Because he knows he is in danger. Because he knows that Kristen's forgiveness is very important, but that he does not end up in jail is even more important, it doesn't matter if he deserves it or not. He doesn't threaten her with words, he is not ready to acknowledge that, but his actions speak clear.

The scene when Edward holds Miss Kringle tp the door saying he would never hurt her, that he is a good man, while he is choking her and putting a hand on her mouth shows greatly this dissonance between words and actions, in his conscious side and unconscious side. Even then, he is not threatening her consciously. He truly believes himself a hero, he is not lying when he says he doesn't want to hurt her.

And that is the reason I like so much how Gotham treats abuse in relationships.

Edward doesn't need to become Dougherty in order to become an abuser. There's a not a magical revelation in which oh, look at that, Edward is actually exactly like Tom, and he starts acting like him and that's who he truly was all along. Edward and Tom are different people, not all abuse look the same and not all abusers act the same, because abuse has different faces, both Tom's and Edward's.

And it's especially great that we see Edward's abuse because it goes to show that just because someone doesn't believe himself an abuser it doesn't mean he is not one. Edward stood up against Tom's abuse but he couldn't see his own. Edward genuinely thought he was acting good in Miss Kringle's regards and him holding her down towards the door, well, it was just a minor thing to keep himself out of jail, it's not like he wanted to hurt her.

Abusers aren't always villains with an evil plan to lure you in a relationship just to hurt you, they may not even realise they're doing wrong (which certainly does NOT excuse them) and I love Gotham for showing this. In the same way Edward did not realise hebwas hurting, to the point of killing, Miss Kringle, even Tom Dougherty didn't think he was abusing her, he just thought "that's how you treat women". Edward may become a supervillain later on the show, but at this point he is just man convinced he is doing no harm to this woman. Because he doesn't want to harm her he is convinced he is not harming her. Because the reason he is choking her and shutting her up is simply because he doesn't want to go to jail and not purposefully hurting her he is convinced he is not harming her. By my definition of a feminicide I gave before, Edward would say it's not what happened, he didn't want to kill her, he didn't want to hurt, he loved her so he can't be guilty of feminicide, but he is. He just doesn't realise it.

Edward is not Tom, he doesn't think he is the strong man who can take down a fragile woman, his ego doesn't get a boost how that he's proved himself to be stronger than a fragile girl, he knows murder is wrong. He never shows to think less of a woman because she is a woman, he is the first to notice and denounce an abuse, he is lean and lanky, he doesn't look like a gorilla who would attack you, more like a shaking leaf you could easily push around. Still, monsters come in more shapes than one.

I want to be extra fair in this analysis so I'll add even something more about Edward's actions. I have seen a few video essays on Gotham and what they all say is that the city is the true main character, the city shapes his characters and leads them into impossible situations that force them to change and act in ways they would have never dreamed of. I think this becomes incredibly evident in Edward's actions towards Tom Dougherty and Miss Kringle.

I'll start by saying this: I justify Edward's murder of Tom Dougherty. And not because Tom is an abuser (although this obviously makes me sympathise with Edward more than with Tom), but because it was the only way out. Listen to me.

Gotham (the show) spends so much time telling us police is corrupted to the bone and cops often cover eachothers' backs, even when the backs they're covering are guilty of serious crimes. This means that denouncing the abuse Miss Kringle was receiving from Dougherty was not only probably useless, but even dangerous. At best, it would have brought to nothing, Dougherty's colleagues would have said Miss Kringle or Edward were lying (and, especially with Edward, they would have tried to say that he was the creep that was making shit up because of his jealousy); at worst, not only that, but Edward would have got retaliation (probably physical, they would have seriously beaten him up) and the abuse on Miss Kringle would have worsened, as a way to intimidate her from ever trying to come forward again.

If you're thinking of some plot of "making Officer Dougherty leave Miss Kringle/falling for someone else", this does NOT solve the situation, it just means a different woman from Miss Kringle would have ended up abused.

The only solution is, sadly, to do justice by oneself, and that involves violence. Now, Edward use the most extreme option, murder, but let's be honest: it's not like he could ever beat Tom up. And even if he could, Tom would have beaten the shit out of him 10 times worse with the help of his friends. It solves nothing. As sad as it is, unless Edward decided to go to Jim Gordon, The Most Honest Man In Gotham, hoping he could something and quickly, murder is the most obvious solution. Edward could not risk Gordon's involvement to make things worse (and also there's this thing that maybe you don't want to advertise that someone is being abused, the abused person has the right not to want the word to spread and Jim isn't exactly subtle). Anyway, Jim Gordon's involvement was not a guarantee of solving the situation, and again, you fail the first time, Dougherty and his pals become more aggressive and dangerous.

Murder is, technically, always a solution for things, I have to add. You don't want to take a test in school because you know you'll fail? You could technically kill your teacher. Emphasis of technically. That would make you not do the test. Of course you don't murder your teacher for a test, it's an absurd and far fetched solution, a test isn't worth a human life and there hundreds of solutions in between murder and accepting to fail the test (copying the test, not showing up, etc.).

The thing with Gotham (the city) is that it's so filthy and corrupted that even something like murder, which is the last solution you should ever turn to, suddenly becomes a very valid option to consider, especially with a situation as serious as abuse. I don't think Edward was crazy to kill Dougherty, I think he was logical. I think he understood way better than Miss Kringle how things work in Gotham.

Again, Edward is a very logical person. He kills Dougherty because it's the only way to get efficiently rid of the problem, he holds Kristen down and doesn't let her leave the apartment because otherwise she would have got him in jail, he holds his hand over her mouth because her screams would have alarmed the other residents of his building. I am sure part of him also subconsciously knew that choking her and simultaneously blocking her respiratory tracts was going to kill her, but it was the same subconscious part that decided Edward being free was more important than Kristen being alive.

Truly, if we take into consideration how Gotham (the city) works, how it's based on an equilibrium of giving and taking, we may as well put the blame of Kristen's death on Kristen herself. When Edward confesses what he had to do to free her for her abuser and he explains his reasons, he has more of a point than he himself realises. He made a sacrifice to the city of Gotham, he took a life, Tom's, to save another one, Kristen's. Kristen is horrified by Edward's actions, which translates directly in being horrified by Gotham's logic.

She tries to do the right thing. The right thing is not compromising, is telling Edward he is a monster and she'll send him to jail. But she dies, because Gotham doesn't work like that, you don't win doing the right thing. She would have got more chances to win if she pretended to think Edward her hero, to think his actions brave, for the moment, and the day after, at work, she would have confessed everything to the police (people hate Edward Nygma, they would have believed her). She could have asked Edward to give her Dougherty's badge as a proof of his love and later present it to the police as proof of the murder. But that, you see, would have involved foul play, that is the way of Gotham Kristen simply abhors. So she uncover all of her cards and she starts screaming insults and she dies for that, because she refused to bend to the rules of the city.

Edward, instead, understands them very well. When he had to choose between Miss Kringle and his moral principles, he chose Miss Kringle. When he had to choose between Miss Kringle and himself, he understood he couldn't have both, and ultimately, even subconsciously, he killed Miss Kringle. He chose himself.

It's not an easy choice, those are true tears he cries over her dead body, but nonetheless he understood he had to choose. And he did, and that's why Gotham granted him to survive another day. The city is alive and controls all of his inhbitants, the ones who thrive are the ones who understands this do ut des, this constant give and take not even Jim Gordon, the epitome of the honest man, can escape, and that's why he bends to asking and doing favours for the Penguin.

Miss Kringle was asked to choose, live a life happily ever after with Edward and a dark secret or denounce Edward when she could, the only two rational options. She chose the third, to get out of the game, to scream and throw the chess board in the air. Refusing to play the game simply means to die in Gotham, and that was the fate she sealed for herself.

The only one who truly always wins is Gotham itself.

I know this is like a lot for somebody who has just started season 2 and it's definitely overthinking and if you're read until this point wow I'm impressed but Gotham burdens me with thoughts

#gotham #gotham fox #long post #essay #kristen kringle #miss kringle #edward nygma #the riddler #character analysis #tom dougherty

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anonymous0writer · 3 years ago

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partner in crime | r. cameron

summary: she is rafe's partner in crime; always will be, according to him. until he does the unthinkable.

wc: 1,392

warnings: tv show rafe lol, obx spoilers? but more of rafe's s2 behavior

a/n: im writing for obx again! also im changing the style of my fics

His bruised fingertips brush over the blood-spattered skin of her shoulder, his hard, cerulean eyes admiring the freckles of ruby blood sitting on her heated skin like jewels. The corner of his mouth twitches into a cruel form of a smile that etches onto his similarly blood-painted features. His nose scrunches, his thumb brushing under his nostrils in a habitual movement, smearing blood over the top of his lip. Lips pulling back from his perfectly pearl-white teeth, he leans closer to the junction of her shoulder and neck, breath fanning over her smooth skin as he whispers comforts into the shell of her ear.

"I'm proud of you," his words come tumbling off his tongue seemingly unbidden as if he's conveniently on auto-pilot mode. His palm curls around her other shoulder, a first glance comforting gesture that hides his true intentions of keeping her close. A heartbeat later, he feels the quiver of her muscles and bones underneath the rough surface of his palm, a sure sign of her flagging cooperation. "It's over, baby."

The reminder only does so much to soothe her, and her lashes brush against her cheeks as she tries to relax into each rolled syllable of his succor. But she's shaking and she swears she can feel each droplet of scarlet blood on her skin like a brand. Her frantic eyes wander, looking for much-needed alleviation but end up snagging on the peek of brown army boots under the pale tarp. A sob catches in her throat as his fingers press against the curve of her lips, hard enough to bruise her into silence.

"There's no going back," Rafe continues, knowing by the wild look in her eyes and the rack of sobs threatening to slip past his fingers she is a ticking time bomb. Unless he can get her under control. He bows his head, locking his calloused cerulean eyes with hers, rooting her into the lush grass underneath the tread of her shoes. "Look at me, alright? We're fine. You're fine. I'm going to clean up the body and we won't ever have to think about this moment again. It'll be okay."

Words still locked behind his tight grip, she fails to reply with the words begging to leap off her tongue. If he hadn't clamped a ring-clad hand over her lips, she might've voiced that they just killed someone and that she will always think about this moment. As if he knows it, Rafe only tightens his grasp, eyes narrowing as he regards her harshly. "Be a good girl and cooperate, okay?"

Knowing submission is her option, she forces her chin up in down in reluctant agreement. Rafe's response is delayed but his touch eventually lifts from her skin and she tries her best to reign in her erratic breathing with controlled exercises. Beside her, the tall blonde boy offers no further comfort or aid; leaving her to grapple with the feelings roaring in her head alone. Despite the tepid, suffocating heat hanging in the air, a shiver crawls down her spine as she tracks Rafe's deliberate movements. He does as promised; making quick work of packing the body in the back of his truck and closing the hatch with a thundering echo. Gravel crunches under the tread of his designer shoes as he closely watches his doubled-over girlfriend try desperately to muster enough control to pull herself together in the long driveway of his front lawn.

"Let's go," he speaks, prompting her to lift her head.

"I- I thought you were handling it?" she scrapes enough volume and unshaken syllables to answer him, palms resting against the curve of her knees.

Rafe cocks his head, golden hair falling into his pale eyes as he quizzically surveys the girl before him. "I said I was going to clean up the body. Not get rid of it- that's your job."

❊

Eyes trained on the small golf ball with the personally engraved words 'happy anniversary love r.' written across it, the girl wraps her white-painted hands expertly over the shiny club, sizing up the short distance between the personalized ball and the hole. Before swinging, the girl draws her eyes to the tall figure casting a towering shadow over her stance, sapphire eyes trained on the distance.

"Rafe," she drawls slowly, adding hints of melody in her words to grab the superior golfers' short-lived attention. She succeeds, the boy's gaze falling to her and the shot she's sloppily lined up for the sole purpose of getting the boy closer.

Releasing a short breath of poorly concealed frustration, Rafe rolls his eyes skyward before moving to rearrange his girlfriend and her obviously horrible golfing skills. Standing over her, the toe of his shoe nudging against her own to get her to shuffle across the green a few inches, Rafe reaches for the club to show her the right way to hold it.

The calm, tepid summer air is split with the rising wail of sirens and the burning glare of red and blue lights that circle through the pale sky with furious intent. Her head snaps up, eyes growing wide and frantic at the rampant ideas building in her head about the meaning of those sirens. She turns sharply on her heel, eyes searching the calm facade of Rafe's features for any hint of shared panic. She comes up empty-handed, the boy's eyes not even on her as he watches the horizon, where the cop cars wail their impending arrival. Taking a shaking breath that fails to soothe the wild beat of her heart, her lips part in question.

"Rafe? What's happening?" the words fall from her chapped lips in a demanding tone, panic fraying the ends of her nerves. When the older boy doesn't reply, his mouth thinning as he expertly ignores her and her pleas. "Rafe."

Her throat tightens in fear when the blonde's gaze finally settles on her, letting the realization that her worst ideas may not be that far-fetched sink into her bones. Feet scrambling, the girl stumbles back a step, flattening the perfectly maintained green of the golf course. She repeats his name, the syllables reaching a higher decibel as the panic overwhelms her. Her fingers tighten around the gold club, knuckles paling with the ferocity of her grip.

"What is going on?" she enunciates, searching for some sort of answer, unable to find one embedded in Rafe's all too calm features. The squeal of fast-paced tires against smooth road breakthrough her panic-hazed mind, her movements become wild, a choked sound falling from her lips as she falls back again.

Noticing her fluttering fingers dancing along the length of her golf club and the rapid rise and fall of her chest, along with the distraught gleam to her eyes, Rafe takes two swift strides to her side. His palms fall heavily on her bowed shoulders,

"Hey," he mummers softly, cooing at the unnerved girl before him. He continues whispering calming words while holding her gaze, one of his hands snaking closer and closer to the failing grip she has on the club. "It'll all work out."

Rafe steps back, long fingers closing firmly around the metallic club as he yanks it swiftly from her grip. His blue eyes stay on hers as he leaves her, stranded on the small island of green, his footfalls the only sound as he continues propelling himself back.

He nods to her silently, his gaze unwavering. "It'll all work out." He mouths again.

Hands in the air!

Rafe watches in silent reverie as the girl whips around to face the array of policemen, black barreled guns aimed at her heart and demanding for her hands in the air. Before complying, she turns, mouth parted as she screams his name, falling roughly to her knees as large hands press down on her shoulders, yanking her arms behind her back and clamping cold-metal cuffs tightly around her wrists. Rafe can't hear her screams of betrayal as the cops nod to Rafe calmly as they being to drag her shaking and bound form away. Her eyes don't leave his, intent on silently communicating her boundless rage left all for him. The boy, however, catches the end of her vow before the black-painted door of the cop car closes her in the car's cabin.

"I will take you down, Rafe Cameron."

[tags: @possiamo-andare @downbytheouterbanks @ijustreallylovethem @stilesflannels @ilovejjmaybank]

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baeddel · 3 years ago

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uzumaki spoilers [again, read Uzumaki first]

i think we are licensed to say that Ito was influenced by Lovecraft when making Uzumaki. he has described Lovecraft as an influence himself, and he makes a comedic reference to the Mountains of Madness in one of the self-insert skits. the infohazard theme that was important in Lovecraft is an important theme in Uzumaki. but it’s interesting to see how they differ. Lovecraft was worried about humanity; the limits of human rationality, the development of the human species, and the fragility of human civilization. for Lovecraft only white men have access to rationality, so only white men can understand the horrors that lesser men bring into existence; this is alluded to in Pickman’s Model (“I’ve got a place that I don’t believe three living Nordic men besides myself have ever seen...”), and is implicit in stories like the Mound. Lovecraft’s protagonists are white American academics, scientists and artists who use their superior reason to uncover the horrible truths of the universe which humanity had until now been too primitive to witness. when they do reach beyond the veil they go mad, catatonic, chittering, or else kill themselves. lesser men mistake what they see for gods and make cults to them with obscene practices, or else degenerate into subhumans.

when Ligotti takes up the same things he uses similar characters and similar devices but with new coordinates. his refernces are not racial scientism and theosophy but structural anthropology and German idealism. the horrible wisdom of the world was not out of reach of Ligotti’s humanity but inescapably evident to it; all of our discourses and social institutions are ruses and devices through which we can hide from it. his protagonists uncover the truth because they are curious, knowledge-hungry fools. impulsively following the intellectual riddles that preoccupy them they disturb things that were better left alone. if they leave with their lives then they find their own way to avert their gaze and put the truth away.

in Uzumaki i think the relevant comparison is shūy��, self-cultivation. virtually every strain of East Asian discourse (religious, philosophical, etc.) has some version of this. what it means to cultivate yourself varies according to tradition but you should have the idea from the name. it’s about developing one’s learning, one’s habits and morals, or one’s te, inner power. everything from Buddhist meditation to martial arts to alchemy to keeping a rock garden is built on a theory of self-cultivation. while self-cultivation isn’t uncommon, there is an expectation that a very cultivated person will be strange (especially outside of Confucianism). sages are different from ordinary people; people can’t understand them, they have a different sense of right and wrong from other people, etc.

the first character in Uzumaki who has any idea about the spiral horror is Suichi’s father. he has renounced everything and devoted himself to the spiral; he spends all of his money on spiral merchandise and sits in his room staring at them. he learns, just by looking at the spirals, how to work miracles; he can move his eyes independently, extend his tongue unnaturally and curl it up, and finally extends and twists up his whole body into a spiral. he achieves a sort of twisted immortality in the spiral. you can easily read this as a dark paroday of self-cultivation; he is a middle-aged man who gets taken by fanciful ideas and spends a lot of money on it. it could as easily be green tea or anything else. his contortions are like a sort of evil tai chi.

Suichi is the second character who knows about the spiral horror. he knows, perhaps, more than his father; he knows how terrible it is. he withdraws from the world, sits alone in his home and does not eat. he rejects whoever comes to him except his lover-disciple; he teaches her how to avoid the spiral, though she cannot learn from him. he is one who has “drowned in the midst of dry land.”

Suichi’s father introduces Yasuo, Kirie’s father, to the spiral horror. he calls pottery “the art of the spiral,” a phrase Kirie’s father repeats for the rest of the manga. he turns his pottery into a form of spiral-cultivation. yet unlike Suichi’s father he doesn’t kill himself doing so. he listens when his family express their troubles and he goes on working on it quietly; he functions well even in the finale when everyone else is losing their minds.

when we get to the bottom of Dragonfly Pond we collect the fruit of cultivation. correct me if i’m wrong but i don’t think we see Suichi’s father in the underground structure at all. he remains in Kurôzu-cho, in the mud, the trees and smoke. Yasuo joins the tangle of bodies and is petrified next to his wife. Suichi basks in the light of the spiral without being petrified; he embraces Kirie and they become a spiral together in a happy infinity.

Uzumaki contains something of a self-cultivation manual. it shows us three sages, but also three lovers, and their different routes to immortality and also love. Suichi’s father cultivates himself excessively; he achieves a restless immortality within a few days but he never learns the truth of the spiral. as a lover he neglects his partner, and then calls to her from hell. he drives her insane and then condemns her to share his fate, all the while she begs him to stop. i don’t know about a Japanese parallel but in the Daoist system you would say that he shattered his shen and lost his vitality. Yasuo cultivated himself slowly, doing a little bit every so often by gathering the clay and firing it. he listened to his wife’s concerns and moderated his practices. he and his lover were petrified by the light of the spiral below Dragonfly Pond. as he lived a normal life, he met the same fate as the townsfolk. now Suichi: where common people are mesmerized by the spiral, and the other sages sought to harness it, Suichi rejected it. he withdrew from society into a reticent life of skeptical contemplation. he advised and mentored his lover so he could protect her from the spiral horror. thus he united with his lover and became immortal with her. it was because he rejected the spiral that he found a peaceful immortality in it.

interestingly we already find a lot of what we like about Bloodborne’s use of Lovecraft in Uzumaki. whereas in Bloodborne the Cthulu cult and its horrors are carried out not by primitives but by the Church, the hospital, and the repressive organs of the state, in Uzumaki it’s done by fathers, teachers, doctors and so on. whereas in Bloodborne it takes the form not of shamanistic religion but revealed faith and academic science, in Uzumaki it takes the form of self-cultivation. and in Bloodborne we also find a sort of practical-philosophical manual which stands along with the best tetsugaku, with its own failed sages (Micolash’s delerium, Rom’s ignorance) and ultimate successes (the Hunter in the third ending).

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yandere-ac · 4 years ago

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Can you write a little bit Mondo x Girly! Reader?

Yandere Mondo Owada X Girly Reader

Promise

⚠️ Spoilers for chapter 2 ⚠️

Ever since Mondo was little he’d have one thing drilled into his brain. When a man makes a promise, he has to keep it, even if it kills him. That is what his brother Daiya had taught him and that was something he was never going to forget. And he never did, no matter how difficult it could get he never ever broke any of the promises he made. So when it finally happened, the shame hit him hard.

He had remembered his utter confusion when he first woke up at hopes peak academy. He had rested on a desk in some classroom all by himself, which only confused him more. Why was he here? He was just walking into the school and now he was sleeping on a desk? Had he just...slept through a lesson or something? As he gazed around the room he saw a big clock hanging above the big blackboard. Nope, he couldn’t have slept through any lesson. There was still 15 minutes left before the school started. So why was he here? Never mind, he had to get to the entrance.

Walking out of the classroom he felt a sudden shiver up his spine as dread crept up his back. He didn’t know why, but something about this place was freaking him out. But he hadn’t had any time to process this new uneasiness as he heard the faint sounds of footsteps running towards him. Immediately he tensed up and got ready to defend himself in case anything happened. But he hadn’t gotten any time to process this new threat as something, or rather, someone ran into him. They had turned a corner in the hallway and didn’t seem to see him before it was too late. As they crashed into him they fell backwards and landed on the floor. Mondo was pushed back slightly by the crash but unlike the person before him, he didn’t fall. It only took him a few seconds before he regained his posture. Letting out a grunt he turned to the person still on the floor.

"HEY! WATCH WHERE YOU’RE GOING DUMBASS!" He could now see the other person more clearly. They wore a puffy white blouse which they tucked into a pink skirt. They had pastel pink knee high socks that reached their thighs and they had a small bow in their hair. They were rubbing their head as they groaned slightly. After a couple of seconds they looked at him and their face immediately turned from dazed to panicked. "Oh my god I am so sorry! I didn’t mean to run into you like that!" They apologised to him profusely as they put their hands together, still on the floor. Mondo rolled his eyes and extended his hand to them. "Quit fussing. I’m not gonna hit you or anything. Just get up." Their face turned slightly pink as they realised they had been rambling. "Oh, yes of course." As they grabbed his hand Mondo could feel something in his chest for a split second. But he quickly brushed it off as he pulled them up off the ground. As soon as they stood up, they let go of his hand and brushed off their skirt. And that for some reason made Mondo a little bit irritated, but he didn’t understand why.

"Well, since first impressions are out the window," the person began as they smiled at Mondo. "Hi! My name is Y/N L/N. It’s nice to meet you!" As you introduced yourself to him you gave him a little bow. Mondo had eyed you up and down. You looked to be about his age, but you seemed nothing like him at all. You were like the personification of the colour pink, cute, polite, feminine. It wasn’t his style at all. And yet, something about you, it intrigued him. "Names Mondo Owada." He stated bluntly while putting his hands in his pockets. "So I’m guessing you’re a student here. What class do you belong to?" You gave him a slight smirk while you asked this. Something about it seemed almost endearing to Mondo. "Yeah, Class 78th. I was just heading to the entrance ceremony." This made you perk up. "Oh? Me too! I was just going there actually. That’s why I was running before. Sorry about that again." You flashed him a smile as the two of you continued. So you were his classmate huh? He didn’t know if that was good or bad. You sure seemed to like chatting, that’s for sure.

And that’s what you two did on your walk to the entrance. During said walk he learned that you were the ultimate makeup artist. And it really showed, you’re face was full of makeup. And Mondo would be lying if he said that it didn’t look good. But he would never admit something like that out loud. Still, you had given him a compliment about his makeup, the eyeliner he wore specially. Which made him kinda happy, it was good to know he was doing it right. But sooner or later, you came to the entrance. The two of you weren’t the first ones to arrive. There were about 8 other students there, standing around and waiting for something to happen. But what was weird about said entrance was that the door had been replaced by a giant vault door. Suspicion was rising in Mondo as everyone started talking to you both.

The way you two met was...less than optimal. But you hadn’t let it get in your way at all. You hung out with Mondo a lot. You kept reaching out to him, which he appreciated. You made him feel strong. From little things like grabbing his arm whenever you felt uneasy or uncomfortable to telling him you felt safe with him. He felt good around you. Like he was actually as strong as you beloved him to be. But the one thing that you ever did that made him feel good was after the Sayaka trial.

He remembered it clear as day. It was nighttime, a couple of hours after the first ever class trial. And it had hit him hard. That Sayaka was dead, that she had tried to kill Leon and blame it on Makoto, that Leon had been executed in such a horrible and gruesome manner. It fucked him up. He sat up in bed, just staring at the floor while he rested his head in his palms. Sayaka had always seemed so nice, so sweet. She and Makoto very obviously had a thing going on. So to know that someone like her would blame it all on him in order to escape, it made him question who he could trust. Sayaka had been the first to attempt something like this, now that you had gone over the line of comfort anyone could be next. He couldn’t die now, not after years of maintaining the Crazy Diamonds. He couldn’t fail Daiya! He couldn’t-

Knock knock

Someone had knocked on his door. No, he was not answering that. He wasn’t gonna become a victim like Sayaka and Leon. But the knocking continued, and continued, and continued, until he couldn’t take it anymore. He walked up to his door, and opened it slightly. Through the small crack in the door he could see it was you. And you saw him. You’re eyes were glossy and your nose was red. "Could you let me in? I’m not armed I promise." Mondo hesitated for a few seconds, should he? He knew you. You would never hurt someone, let alone him. But...he thought the same about Sayaka. Mondo looked at you once again. You were hugging your sides and wiping your tears off your cheeks. You didn’t have any makeup on, which was unusual for you. But most of all, you just looked so small. You were pretty much cowering together as you waited for him to open the door. You couldn’t be here to kill him. He refused to believe it and mentally cursed himself out for even thinking about the possibility. With a swift move, he opened the door and let you inside. You thanked him as you walked into his dorm.

"Are you okay?" That was the first thing he asked you after he closed the door. You sat down on his bed, clutching your hands together as your eyes fastened to the floor. You didn’t give him an answer, you just stared at the floor, just like he was a couple of minutes ago. After a couple of seconds of silence, Mondo sat down next to you. He let out a sigh and used his hand to stroke your back. "Hey it’s okay, or well- it’s not okay right now but uh..." Damn it. He wasn’t very good at this was he? "Hey, look at me." He cupped the side of your face in his hand as he turned it towards him. "It’s gonna be okay, I promise. This shit sucks, it’s fucking insane. But you’re going to be okay." You let out a sniffle and a sob as he stroked your cheek. "But how can you say that? Two of our classmates are dead! How can I, how can any of us be safe when two of us has died!" You cried out, and as your voice cracked under pressure Mondo could feel his heart break. "...Y/N, do you wanna know the one thing that my brother made sure to teach me? When a man makes a promise, he has to keep it, even if it kills him." Mondo told you, now letting go of your face and grabbing your hands. "It’s something I’ve always told myself, every single time I ever make a promise, I think of that. And I have never in my life broken a promise. So when I tell you this I want you to listen. You’re going to be okay. You’re gonna survive this shit, no matter what. I promise you will Y/N. Do you wanna know why?" You looked at him as you let out another sob. "Why?"

"Because you have me."

You spent that night with Mondo. The two of you keeping each other company and keeping each other calm. That night Mondo not only made a promise to you, but to himself. He had to protect you. It didn’t matter if he thought he could or couldn’t, he had to. He wasn’t gonna loose someone like you.

And for the most part, he was able to keep that promise. There hadn’t been any other deaths until then and Mondo was happy about that. What he was also happy about was that you and Taka got along well. After all, it would be a little awkward if his best friend didn’t get along with his...partner? Friend? He didn’t know. You two hadn’t made anything official or put any labels on your relationship but it was obvious that it wasn’t strictly platonic. You and him have shared a bed multiple times, much to Takas dismay. But it didn’t matter, because you and Taka got along. He wasn’t sure why, but Taka was the only guy that he felt comfortable with you being around. But anytime you hung out with any of the other guys he felt this burning sensation in his chest. He didn’t blame you or anything, he knew you weren’t gonna get with one of them, but it still felt bad. Like they were trying to take you away from him. He wasn’t so sure about the girls since he didn’t know if you were into that, but you were into him, which meant you were into boys. He hadn’t told you about this, he knew that wouldn’t be a smart thing to do. So he just kept all his feelings inside of him. Which also wasn’t a smart thing to do. He already struggled with a lot of self worth issues, so mixing in the paranoia about the other guys only made it worse. What if one of them convinced you to leave Mondo? And what if you realised that he wasn’t as strong and tough as he made himself out to be? What if you left him? He couldn’t loose you. Not now. Not ever.

But strangely, you didn’t spend much time with a lot of the guys. You mostly spent time with the girls. Him and Taka were the only guys you seemed to hang out with most of the time, but most of the time, it was with the girls. The one you spent most of your time with was none other than Chihiro Fujisaki, the ultimate programmer. You and her talked a lot, which at first annoyed Mondo slightly. An annoyance which you noticed pretty quickly. So when you asked him about it and he answered, you couldn’t help but laugh slightly. Which only made him madder. With a quick peck on the cheek, you explained to Mondo that you and Chihiro were like best friends. "Don’t worry Mondo. Chihiro is like my Taka." Chihiro was like your Taka. Once you had put it like that Mondo felt better. He started to wonder why he was even worried in the first place.

But then came the accident.

It had been a rough evening for Mondo. Monokuma had given all of you new motives in order to get you all to kill. This time it was embarrassing or scandalous secrets. If a murder didn’t happen within the next 24 hours he was gonna reveal them all to the outside world. He had wished his motive was just one of the embarrassing things he had done when he was little. But no. His secret was the murder of his big brother, Daiya. He remembered the pit that had formed in his stomach as he read his motive. Everyone in The Crazy Diamonds were gonna find out. After keeping the gang together for so long it was all gonna be ruined. He felt shitty, he felt MORE than just shitty. And he didn’t want to talk to anyone about it. So when you had asked him what was wrong he simply stated that he wanted to be left alone. Maybe a bit more aggressively then he wanted to. And he beat himself up over it. Why couldn’t he just talk to you! Why did he have to be so stupid! That day he spent hours in the gym, working out and releasing his anger. But it wasn’t working. His thoughts kept flowing back to Daiya, and you, and his secret. What would you think of him after you found out? What if you started to hate him? He couldn’t let the last conversation you had with him before you find out be the one you had before. The one when he snapped at you and stormed off when the only thing you did was ask if he was okay. What had he done?! He had to find you!

But right as he opened the door to the gym he was met with Chihiro. She let out a slight yelp as Mondo had opened the door rather violently. "O-Oh! Mondo. There you are. Is this where you’ve been all day?" She asked him. "Yeah, what’s it fucking to ya?" Mondo answered, once again getting more aggressive then he wanted to. Chihiro frowned slightly as he raised his voice at her. Damn it, he knows he shouldn’t yell at Chihiro. "...I’m...did you want something or what?" Mondo asked, his voice a little lower then before. "Huh? O-Oh yes! I wanted to ask you...could I train with you?" This question caught Mondo completely off guard. "...train with me? Can’t you just train with Sakura and Aoi instead? How would you even get into my training room?" Mondo asked. Chihiro looked a little uncertain for a moment before taking in a deep breath. "Because..." she grabbed the door to the men’s room and closed it. Then she pulled out her tablet and pressed it against the automatic door lock. And with a small click, the door opened. Mondos eyes widened as he saw this. Soon he looked down at Chihiro. "I wouldn’t be able to get into the girls room..."

Chihiro told Mondo about her secret, or rather, his secret. How he’s been dressing up as a girl his whole life. How he’s always thought of himself as too weak. How he...how he wanted to change. He told Mondo about how he’s tired of hiding, tired of living a lie. He wanted to be like Mondo. He wanted to be strong like him. He told him that he admired Mondo. Admired him and his strength. As Mondo listened to him, he couldn’t help but think how, how did he have this much courage?! How could he face his flaws like it was nothing? He was so strong...and it just showed how much weaker Mondo was. Chihiro was strong, he faced his problems and wanted to change. But Mondo, Mondo was the opposite. He had hid away the entire day, working out just to distract himself. He had kept it all inside of him and refused to work on himself in any way at all. He had lashed out at one of the people he cared about simply because he didn’t want to be vulnerable around them...he was nothing like Chihiro...Chihiro Fuji-fucking-saki. That bastard. How dared he sit there and act like Mondo was as strong as him. As if he was anything but a coward.

"Are you making fun of me?! I’m strong? Are you fucking with me right now?" Mondo raised his voice slightly as anger seemingly seeped through him. "I’m not making fun of you. You really are strong Mondo." Chihiro tried to explain himself, thinking that Mondo got the wrong idea. "What do you want me to do? What am I supposed to do? Am I supposed to just sit back, let my secret get revealed and ruin everything? Let my best friend and partner know I’m a murderer!?" Now Mondo started to shout. "Wh-Whats wrong?" Chihiros voice became fearful and worried as he tried to approach Mondo. But Mondo quickly snapped at him, turning his whole body towards him rather violently as he looked Chihiro dead in the eyes. "Why did you have to tell me all that? Are you trying to rub my failure in my face!? Huh?! Is that it!?" Mondo started to approach him as more and more fury built up inside of him. "N-No, I just- I really admire you! I admire your strength! I promise Mondo, I just want to become as strong as you are!" Chihiro backed up, but for every step he took, Mondo took one as well. And soon enough, Chihiro was backed up against the wall. He was shaking. Tears spilled out of his eyes as the taller male towered above him. "That’s right, I am strong...I’m strong! I’m strong! Stronger than you ever will be! You hear me?! I’M STRONG!" As Mondo shouted this, he bent down and picked up the object closest to him. A dumbbell. "Mondo you’re scaring-"

THUNK!

Chihiro didn’t get to finish his sentence as Mondo struck him with the dumbbell. With one hit, Chihiro fell down. With one hit, blood started to pour from his head. With one hit, the ultimate programmer known as Chihiro Fujisaki was dead. Dead and gone forever. One hit. That’s all it took. And with that one hit, Mondo came back to reality.

"....o-oh...oh fuck. Fuck! FUCK! CHIHIRO!" He fell down to his knees as he grabbed ahold of Chihiros shoulders. He started to shake him slightly. "Chihiro? Chihiro get up man! This isn’t funny! Wake up!" But his pleads fell on deaf ears. Because Chihiro wasn’t there. Chihiro was dead. He was dead because of Mondo. Chihiro trusted Mondo enough to tell him his secret and ask for help, and Mondo had killed him. Tears started to prickle Mondos eyes very soon. He let out one last breathy "fuck" and brought Chihiro close to him as he realised what he had done. He used to be the one that feared what someone might do to him. He used to wonder who he could trust, who might betray him. But in the end it was him, him who betrayed someone. Someone who could barely defend themselves. Someone who trusted him. And he betrayed that trust. "Chihiro...I’m so sorry..."

•••

And that brings us to where you all were right now. Mondo hadn’t said much during the trial. As everyone was discussing who might have killed Chihiro, the guilt was eating at him. He was a monster. He had killed someone who looked up to him and wanted to be like him. Every time he would try to focus on something else his mind just repeated what Chihiro had told him. Chihiro was strong. Strong enough to not hide away from himself. Unlike Mondo. Mondo did it when he was informed about the motives and he was doing it now...he couldn’t do this. As he looked around the room he saw that everyone was deep in their discussion. He looked at you, you had a frown on your face, he remembered the scream of pain you let out once you found your best friend tied up in the girls gym, blood pouring from his head. And even if this case clearly hurt you, you had to focus. You were gonna find out who did this. Your eyes were intense with raw emotion. That is, until you felt Mondo staring at you. You turned your gaze over to him, and as your eyes met his, they softened slightly. And that broke Mondo. He promised to protect you. And here he was, trying to get away with murder. If he got away with this, you would be executed. But if he spoke up...he would be the one dying. And as his hands started to shake he remembered what Daiya used to tell him. When a man makes a promise, he has to keep it. Even if it kills him. "Even if it kills him...." he said to himself in a very low voice. He had promised to protect you, that you would make it out alive. So even if he had to die, he had to do this. "Hey. Hey!" He said loudly, quickly getting everyone’s attention. Even if it kills him. "I have something to say..." for the first time in his life, for the last time in his life, he was gonna be strong. He was gonna be strong, like Daiya.

Like Chihiro.

Even if it kills him.

“WHY MONDO!? WHY WHY WHY?! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS?! HOW COULD YOU KILL HIM!" As his best friend shouted at him he felt like curling up and hiding away. His words cut deep into Mondos heart, even if all the words were true and justified. But what hurt the most were the words he didn’t hear. Taka was screaming at him, but you, you just stared at him in silence. You looked at him with hurt and betrayal in your eyes, and yet, not a word left your mouth. Tears were running down the sides of your face, tears that he was responsible for. “It would seem like you’re all ready to vote!” Monokuma said gleefully, much to Kiyotakas horror. “W-Wait! No! Hold on!” Taka cried out as he wanted to get answers from his best friend. “No more waiting! No more holding on!” Monokuma trailed on. But Mondo didn’t listen. He knew what was going to happen. He was going to die. But at least he died for the people he loved. He looked at you. You had tear filled eyes and a big frown. Suddenly, the levers you were all supposed to pull appeared. As everyone pulled their levers, only you, Mondo and Kiyotaka had been yet to vote. “Y/N! This can’t be happening! Tell me this isn’t happening! We’re not...WE’RE NOT VOTING FOR MONDO!” He yelled out as sobs escaped his throat. “Hey...Taka...Y/N...” Mondos voice rang through the trial room. You both turned to him. “It’s okay...vote for me...be safe...” and so, he grabbed his lever and placed his vote. “No! Don’t do this Mondo! Don’t do this!” Mondo gave the lever a big yank. Finalising the vote. He looked at you, you looked at him. Through your tears you saw him nod at you. And so, you pulled your lever.

•••

Taka was violently sobbing into the long coat that you had placed on his shoulders, Mondos coat that flew off him during his execution. It was the night after the trial. And Taka was completely destroyed. He was hysterically crying, letting out a sob in between every single breath he took. You stroked him on his back while trying to calm him down. “Hey...shh...shh...it’s...it’s not okay right now. I know that. But it’s going to be okay. We’re gonna get through this Taka. You and me. For Mondo. For Chihiro. He looked at you for a second before pulling you into a hug. “It’s gonna be okay. You and me, we’re gonna get out of this alive. Because...” you trailed off for a second. “....because you have me.” Kiyotaka only started to sob more after you told him this. And you just kept stroking his back. “And I have you. We have each other. And we’re gonna be okay....”

“I promise you...”

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drusb · 4 years ago

Text

Sam and Max Silent Hill 2 AU

(Spoilers for Silent Hill 2)

I've noticed there's a lot of Sam and Max AUs based off of horror. Such as @monsterbride99 and @em-doods Corpse Bride AU, @sleepy-heads-blog's Bride of Chucky AU, and a bunch of zombie AUs in general. So I thought I might throw my hat into the ring and make my own AU based off of my favorite horror game of all time, Silent Hill 2. Sam is James, Max is Maria, Geek is Laura, Sybil is Angela, and Lorne is Eddie. Summary down below.

In this AU, Sam is a detective in Maine, who's wife passed away recently. His wife is this AU's version of Mary, let's call her Lilith. Sam has been extremely distraught over it, incredibly depressed. His most fond memory of her is a vacation they took together to Silent Hill. One day, Sam receives a letter from Lilith claiming she's in Silent Hill. Sam then realizes this is the only thing he has left living in life and speeds off to Silent Hill.

After getting there, Sam starts encountering monsters based off of his subconsciousness. One based on his love of violence in his job, one based on his guilt, one based on his body issues, and a few based off of his repressed homosexuality. He also manages to meet a few other people. Sybil, a woman looking for her husband Abe, Lorne, who ran away from the cops, and Geek, a kid who first sees Sam as a monster before warming up to him.

Eventually, Sam comes across a lagomorph named Max, who works at a nearby club, Heaven's Night. The two agree to stick together, and eventually they start to bond, considering each other friends. Also Max does not like Lilith at all. They see Geek run off into the nearby hospital, and go after her. In the hospital, a bunch of stuff happens, and the two are transported to the Other World, where they are chased by a big monster, it's not Pyramid Head, but some other monster with a big spear. This is where the AU deviates a bit from the game. In the game, Maria fails to reach the elevator with James and gets stabbed by a spear. However here, Sam manages to get Max into the elevator with him, and they both managed to get out. Max passes out from shock though, and Sam takes him to a nearby RV until he recovers. During this time, Sam proceeds to realize he has feelings for Max. Eventually, Max wakes up and Sam remembers that during his vacation in Silent Hill, he left a video tape behind at the hotel they stayed at. It's across the river, and Max tells him that the bridge across has been destroyed, but there's a rowboat at the docks by the Historical Society.

As the two begin to head to the place, there are an abundance of ads for cheating services, domestic abuse victim hotlines, and a few other things as the two enter the Historical Society. Down there, they have some adventures, and defy the laws of physics by jumping into holes that lead further and further down. While there, the two have some heart to hearts, and the romantic tension increases. Also down there, Sam discovers some scribblings of a madman of what seems to be a god of the town, and it looks very much like a rabbit. Eventually, after encountering a crazed Lorne, and killing him in self-defense, the two are brought back to the Fog World, where they take a rowboat across the lake to get to the hotel.

At the hotel, the two realize they have to get some music boxes to get a key to access the suite Sam stayed at during his vacation, where the video tape is. They also meet up with Geek and bond with her more. One of the music boxes they have to get can only be accessed by an elevator with a weight limit of one person, so Sam goes down and gets it. When he gets back up, he discovers that Max has vanished. Sam gathers the remaining music boxes, and manages to access the suite, where he watches the video tape. There, the truth is revealed to Sam. His wife was a horrible person. She drank, verbally and physically abused him, cheated on him multiple times, and was just generally toxic. Sam somehow either never noticed this, or repressed it all, and imagined her as a wonderful loving wife. Now knowing the truth, Sam wanders through the Other World, until coming to a chamber where Max is. In the chamber, Max reveals his true identity, that he is the god that controls Silent Hill. He reveals that he sent Sam the letter to try and help him move on from his abusive wife, through what he calls "extreme therapy measures", and genuinely wanted to help him. During the chase in the hospital, Max was meant to die, but Sam somehow managed to save him, which helped increase Max's trust in Sam. Afterwards, he reveals that he has feelings for Sam, and Sam says the same. The two then kiss, Sam's journey through the town finally coming to an end. One of three endings then occur.

STAY:

Max convinces Sam to stay in Silent Hill, to help him combat the evil cult that tries to sacrifice blood maidens and stuff to him for some odd reason. Sam agrees and the two start cleaning up the town of the cult. Eventually, Silent Hill is returned to it's status before the cult came and made everything worse. After this, Sam and Max turn the abandoned town into a place where broken people can come to face their demons and hopefully come out better. They also get married in the ruins of a church, and live pretty good.

LEAVE:

Sam convinces Max to come with him, and live together. Max agrees, and goes with him. They also bring along Geek with them. They adopt Geek, and Max becomes his detective partner. Sam manages to move on from Lilith, managing to eventually forget her, and what she did to him. The two then proceed to get married in the future, and live happily ever after.

UFO ENDING:

Before Sam can put the video tape into the VCR, an alien ship shows up outside of the window. Max then enters the room, and claims it's his ship, he was just getting it ready. He tells Sam that he's an alien, and was exploring the galaxy, when his ship got wrecked, and he crashed on Earth. He then says that he loves Sam, and asks if he wants to come with him. Sam, realizing what he said, gives Max a big kiss, and comes on board with him, exploring the cosmos with his lover.

THE END

And that's basically the AU! There's no art of it because I can't draw, but if you WANT to draw art of it, go ahead, it's fine, I don't mind. Also if you wanna ask questions about it, sure.

#sam and max #freelance husbands #sam and max au #silent hill 2 #sam and max: freelance husbands #sam and max: freelance police

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