#(sorry again it got pretty long ^^"
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@midoyuzuweek day 7 | christmas / wedding / free day
mdyz christmases you will always mean everything to me. decided to give lineless art a shot again after how many years and it was pretty fun!! also i lied when i said the ghostic piece was my favorite actually cause this was extremely fun to draw
ideally this wouldve been the last day but because i am sick and twisted theres one more tomorrow 👍 beware
#duck scribbles#enstars#mdyzweek2025#midoyuzu#yuzuru fushimi#midori takamine#yuzumido#ensemble stars#the depression is eating me alive i think and this week has been some solace but if i go missing for a while dont worry too much abt it#xmas live youll always be famous......#last time i tried lineless/smth akin to painting was like 2022?? im pretty sure.but this time it feels a lot more like just regular lineart#with added stuff on top. Lineart Two if you will. and i had an absolute blast (i love lineart)#ink pen my lovely wife i missed you i am so sorry for abandoning you all these years#the art pencil brush is too satisfying ive neglected you for so long in favor of it#also screw you flambe outfit for that annoying design at the back. it got covered up anywaysssss argh#ughhhhhhh i dont wanna do assignments and midterms. i have to lock in again.... i dont wanna....#other than getting to do this ship week its honestly been Incredibly Indescribably Excruciatingly Miserable for me for the last seven#or so days. or i guess its been a few weeks already. this thread is so close to snapping but feck it we ball i guess#at least theres fictional characters to get me through the fact this sorry excuse of a government reinstated martial law#hate it here
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day 188
sorry for the recent inactivity, exhaustion and a months long hyperfixation on in stars and time stoped me from being able to draw anything else-!
and it still persists, so hope people enjoy this isat pomni while i get back into the swing of drawing for this blog!
(going to put the non-monochrome version under keep reading)
#the amazing digital circus#tadc#pomni#tadc pomni#daily pomni#tadc caine#isat#in stars and time#isat spoilers#just in case#anyway hello again to anyone who stuck around!#i am so so sorry for just vanishing for so long#lost a lot of motivation to keep this blog running#then got some pretty strong burnout#and then got struck by one of the most powerful hyperfixations i've experienced in years#gosh people who have done this for longer than i did are so powerful#hope people enjoy the new artstyle!
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he’s literally so beautiful and handsome









#HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO SAY THAT IM SO FUCKING WEAK EVERY TIME BEOMGYU AND GUITAR LIKE LITERALLY MY HEART MELTS#I LOVE EVERY TIME HE PERFORMS W GUITAR I THINK THIS ONE IS MY FAVE SO FAR#his outfit as well omfg he looks so fucking good they styled him well g#the guitar is so pretty as well and I love the strap the bird design on the fretboard is so cool#I heard there’s only 200 of them as well I don’t even play guitar but I want to buy it just bc it’s so beautiful#BEOMGYU RAPPING !!! OH MY GOD 😭😭😭#HE DID SO WELL#HIS SINGING AS WELL#and his guitar parts were really good in this one like he’s improved sm I’m so proud of him 😭#like he’d never performed w guitar on stage before until recently and doing lots of lives and practicing a lot more#like I remember him saying he got a few guitar lessons for wonder and him saying he was shocked bc he realised he’s not that good at guitar#and is starting to learn the basics again and practicing more consistently#and he really has improved you can hear it ! I was actually shocked like it sounded so good#beomgyu<3!#also the when he posted on Instagram literally squealed THEYRE SO FUCKING PRETTY#honestly one of my favourite pictures of him#what can I say I love pretty sunsets and pretty boys#yo why are the tags so long 😭😭 wtf#I’m sorry I can talk about beomgyu for days
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#can i yap for a moment#im extremely sleepy but im feeling very upset and mad and confused#also lowkey questioning whether me feeling all that is justified or if i am overreacting#anyway#made out w a boy tonight#and he wanted to go to his place#and i was like no i wanna stay and dance with my girlies#and he gets upset??#asking why i'd kiss him if i don't wanna hook up and i said i just wanna have fun?#made me feel so stupid#that anger in me led to a little fight with another boy (who was unfortunately very cute) and i just wanted to punch him#i just hate when boys think they're so superior#so i argued with this stupid but hot man#until an ex? friend shows up and he was pretty drunk just yapping about things#anyway he basically told me he'd like to rekindle our friendship#but not in a heyy haven't talked in so long let's meet up again#it was in a heyy let's hang out again got a new big car and moved out of my parent's house 😋#which gave me the ick bc that's why we aren't friends anymore and i told him no multiple times#and got sad bc he was one of my closest friends#anyway and then we left the party#this guy pulls me aside the parking lot#and i was so embarrassed bc there were so many people and they were all looking and i could already see people gossiping about it#and i just wanted to die#and then he just CONFESSES??#gives me flowers and all which is saur saur cute#but i legit have zero feelings for him </3#and have commitment issues and have never been in a relationship and don't wanna be in one#actually grosses me out thinking about relationships </3#the confession was so random and i kinda lost another friendship? even tho i wouldn't rlly consider him a friend we just share sum classes#but yeah boys are so stupid and confusing and i dunno how and why i get myself into these situations :') m sorry just needed to rant </3
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Idk why there's disbelief over Mark S/Helly in terms of motivation. Helly is just as capable of cruelty and selfishness as Helena. They are at the core of it, the same person with different memories/experiences. They can be two perspectives worthy of indulging their own dreams and desires and also be the same person. Narratively here especially, this isn't about morality, it's about human nature.
Helly was never cruel, sure, of course. Helly felt like she was the same as the other people in MDR. But Helly has something right now that she never even achieved as Helena. Someone who loves her. Someone who is choosing her. Helly is Winning over Helena here.
Jame Eagen wanders down just to be a freak and reinforces the reality of it. Helly is "More" than Helena, hasn't been worn down by the weight of experience and the world (and their cult and corporate bullshit). She still has, in some way, the innocence of youth and lack of experience with the world. She doesn't have the same fears and burdens or triggers as Helena in her conscious experience. She still has the ability to express her passions and outrage and defend herself. And to love and not feel sorry for it.
Severance gave Helena a chance to exist without the learned perspectives and burdens of the Eagens and she is able to be free with herself and her passions and desires-- whereas Helena was likely drained of any dreams for potential beyond a strictly guided future decades ago.
Of course Helly is feeling a rush of joy and satisfaction over Mark loving her. Mark choosing her. She tried to do the "right thing" by being logical with Mark. "I'm her." Even outside of Lumon, if they bring it all down, there's no hope for an Eagen and an ex-severed employee in reality. In the Real World they will never be together. Mark couldn't love Helena, how could anyone love an Eagen? (Poor Helly really with like, the enemy is within etc, but that's kinda the situation framed by Lumon for everyone by setting the stage with your Innie isn't human kinda rhetoric.) (This was also reinforced by Helena trying to get close to Mark to see if he still had feelings or chemistry with her and finding out they were not going to work outside Lumon.)
What if the equator is a building that could be a continent? Can be their whole world? They're choosing to live Now. Together in the present despite knowing that with their half lives, they could be brought to an end at any moment. It's very willful young love of them. And why wouldn't it be? This is their First Love. They haven't even been "alive" that long or have any memory of romance beyond their current infatuation. They don't know the world or it's places, and maybe that's okay, maybe they can exist in this space so long as they have love and the others.
It's completely human for Helly to accept Mark choosing her. To run to him just to see him for maybe the last time. It's human for Mark S to run to Helly. It's human for poor Gemma, who doesn't even know her fucking husband is severed, to be pounding on the door.
But this is their Final Day to Mark and Helly. Maybe the very end of their world. It's Judgement Day. Of course they'd have them holding hands and running back to the unknown to face the end together. To die together.
There is also zero fucking chance Mark Scout would risk his life and brain continuing reintegration once his wife is back. Mark Scout is going to choose his wife. Mark is choosing Love on both sides here.
All of it is reasonable.
#this is true for all the innie/outie combos like#lets not forget theyre the same person. yes they are also separate and deserve to be respected in their experiences#in my mind theres a post credit scene of Devon dragging Gemma to a car and them driving to a secure location bc I can't live otherwise#unfortunately the severed floor is literally their world. has been all this time. all they know by design.#anyway. selfishness is so normal to the human experience and motivation. survival. love. growth#im going to be thinking about platos cave allegory stuff now actually. ough#anyway its 3am and this is all i can thnnk about#personal q#severance spoilers#read more bc mindless brain ramble got long#i love all the characters in this show I hope hope hope Gemma gets a focus in S3#i actually loved the reintegration bits but narratively it would change some of the themes more at this time#theyd have had to make full reintegration the only way for mark to save gemma to make it happen#i need gemma to get so much therapy and care. lumon better not touch her ever again im really so serious#im going to be emotionally devastated ny Mark turning for months#good news fucking up cold harbor probably means that whatever fuckery Jame had planned for Helena/Helly is probably also fucked#could you imagine tho if we actually get fresh 'severed' personas for them if Lumon abducts them all to a compound somewhere#if s3 starts like Just Another Day in the Office I'll scream#I'm starting to wonder if this whole draining the tempers experiment thing#is about being able to provide them for others as a rejuvenation thing now actually aha just from writing this#i think using Helly Wasnt Cruel to try to contain her character is very infantilizing like theyre not children they're striped of knowledge#and of experience#this is all very is love stored in memory or the soul etc. do the people in the cave want to leave the cave when the shadows on the wall ar#the only representation of reality they've ever known#this show is just like art/literaty analysis of themes its so pretty and tragic and terrible#severance#sorry added for the mutuals who dont need to see my taste in tv on my supposed gaming blog#idk a lot of this season was also helly spreading the concept of division from outie persona stuff which makes sense for her#but then getting to look back at gemma and see maybe an outie as a person etc too like. ough
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Hi, do you keep on the lookout for the exit all the time or do you settle somewhere and work your way from there?
Well, I used to think about settling down. Met a nice guy who helped me get my bearings here. I even thought about staying for a while. But uh…then the schism showed up, and I got a pretty harsh realization that to stay here meant changing into something I'm not against my will. Which didn't exactly seem very appealing to me, thanks. Had a moment or two where I tried to stop it from growing, but everything I tried just made it worse. So…here I am. On the move. Better to get going rather than stay in one place for too long, am I right?
#onceler#once-ler#ask blog#hatter-ler#That person was Kat by the way#the person who helped me#He got stuck here with his cat long before I ever showed up#Told me he tried to out-drive the shadows that tried to grab him with no luck#Pretty cool guy if you ask me#Now speaking of being on the move#I should probably get up before folks start looking at me funny#Please do not hit me with anything again...#(ooc: Sorry for the late post! I'll try to go back to the schedule by sunday!!)
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(OLD OC SKETCHES) Meet Sunnabelle Von Sunnoviche, final daughter of the Sunnoviche family. Peeking from behind a window, she witnessed a wizards final spell, one that reduced the world to a wasteland. Her noble blood damned her to [HELL], but unwanting to suffer with her family, she made a deal with the devil. She now hunts in his name. The top of her head was taken by the blast on that day. The fires of her spirit have boiled her blood into a super-heated plasma.
#luckys original content#GRAAHH MY OCS OCS IM SORRY MY OCS I NEVER FUCKIN DRAWW YYAALLL#i was cleanin stuff on my pc again n found a buncha stray doodles of her that i made like. 1 or 2 yrs ago. so i cooked em into smth edible#shes a gunslinger rogue i think! mechanically aasimar bc plasma blood#played her once for a very teeny tiny improved oneshot me n some buddies did forever ago#would love to play as her again... someday a cowboy themed game will find me.. n she will live again...#SUNNABELLE VON SUNNOVICHE! the last name was sposed to sound like 'son of a bitch' ehehehe#bc she is ONE HELL ofa son ofa bitch. shes mean shes short tempered she takes NO SHIT#and she loses her mmIIIIND when she meets a delightfully stupid pretty person#i didnt play her for long so her personality hasnt evolved that far. thats the fun thing abt playing characters! u meet them when u play em#SUNNABELLE FUNFACTS: she is the 6th child of 11 siblings. middlest a middle child can be. bc o this she was often overlooked or ignored#she grew up in a family of obnoxiously rich nobles. all the other siblings were trained and focused on to be the best a sunnoviche can be#meanwhile. sunnabelle often stuck to herself. drawing and creating little fantasy worlds. was always a fan of wild wests n cowboys n guns#she was the only one that saw the WIZARD coming. she was peering over a window when the blast went off. taking the top of her head#GUHH IM ACTULY SO PROUDA HER DESIGN SHE LOOKS SO COOL.. LIKE WHATS WITH THE PLASMA HOW DID I DRAW THAT SO WELL. IM SO PROUD.#I lov all the sun symbolism.. its so fun.. what a fun character ive made.. hell yeah.... anyway hope u guys like her too.#if u got questions ive got ANSWERS!!! my askbox is always open. im pretty sure.
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oooh what kind of things do you bake? I'd love to try them sometimes 💞 have a sweet day!!
hello anon!!!!! thank u for giving me an excuse to talk about BAKING
sooo just before covid i took a 3 week dessert course and kind of became obsessed??? during lockdown i used to watch tons & tons of videos on process nd technique instead of physically yaknow Doing Anything bc i hated the idea of ~wasting ingredients~ at my mediocre skill level which looking back was an insane approach but i kinddd of think it helped bc when i started making things more regularly the improvement was p quick !!
my fave thing to bake is pastry (puff, choux, shortcrust, filo) so basically any kind of sweet tart/croissant/eclair/profiterole/pie ❤️ i also love a savoury curried egg or chicken puff but that's kind of a gamble bc what EYE think is an okay level of spice does not fly for everyone else. when it comes to large batches for a party or something i usually stick to sweet 2 be safe
pictured: fruit mascarpone tart → mango danish → tiny baby pains au chocolat <33



course i make cake and stuff too and it's FINE but i also know lots of ppl who are better at it lol. i'm pretty Terri at piping anything more complex than a simple swirl so when it comes to deco i tend to stick to covering the top with store-bought macarons/fruit and calling it a day. also maybe it's just me but full layer cakes are such a hassle to cut and store...... i adore a cutieful low commitment CUPCAKE tho <33
my order of preference when it comes to baking is pastry > cookies/brownies/cupcakes > layer cakes >>>>> bread. ugh BREAD i cannot figure her out but i Want to...... someday...
thing is bread is honestly such a delicate process where ur final product will flop unless the ratios are justé right and u proofed at something.000001 degrees and mercury is in retrograde whereas the rules of pastry are more relaxed and intuitive and involve doing vaguely unhinged things like holding fistfuls of ice cubes before you handle ur dough so the heat from ur palms doesn't melt the butter... it's also great for LAZY BITCHES LIKE ME because a "4 hour recipe minus baketime" sounds intense until u realize 3h15 mins of that is just chucking the thing in the fridge between rolls
choux au craquelin is probably what i make the most often. love a textured little cream puff!!! versatile and scalable and easy to transport... she's that girl truly


also today i remade the mango one i was telling k about and it turned out muchhh better with a chunkier filling yay 🥭

convinced i'm never going to get a pretty cross-section in my life but wtvr they still tasted good !!!
goals for the future:
bread but specifically this yummy pesto babka i had in february
creme brulee donut......... need her
crookie but less dry bc i've been kind of unimpressed by the ones i've had so far
something citrusy w/o relying on chocolate as a crutch
basically i really love baking! like experimenting/trying new recipes ofc but also just the process of consciously altering and improving upon stuff you've already made :')
and yeah feeding ppl is bonus <3 hope u have a good day too!!!
#sorry this got kind of long gkdjjk#thanks again for this ask anon it was fun!!!!#tbh with most things i do i kind of feel like a talentless hack just going thru the motions but#i've got a decent amount of pride when it comes to pastry#there's a ton i don't know/could improve but as it stands i think i'm pretty good ❤️#answered
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AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
I WOULD KILL FOR BIRDIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I WANT MAMA LARK AND PAPA TIM AND BUBA BRIAN AND LITTLE BIRDIE TO JUST BE THE BEST HAPPY FAMILY IN THE WORLD GAH!!!!!!!!!!!!
Mon I hope you know this will forever be in my brain, all my thoughts, are going to be consumed by them.
Do you think inthe everyone lives au they'd want more kids or are they completely happy with their little surprise miracle? And in that vain, do you think Tim would yeet his uterus/ get his tubes tide after Birdie is born or like, again, maybe perhaps... holding out for the possibility of another....
(Don't mind me, I'm just a fiend with baby fever and the love of projecting onto my favorite guys)
~💜
Oh dude even in the 'canon' of Sorry, It's Locked Tim does end up with another kid.
The second kid is more planned than Birdie but still not entirely planned (as in, he and Brian have been talking about it and have been a bit less careful about using protection, but it still happens a lot sooner than they expected it to lol). They name this kid Jesse and it's a little boy, so Birdie gets a little brother.
In the 'everyone lives' AU I think I'd keep this. Around the time when Birdie is sorta 12-13 ish, after Brian comes back into their lives and eventually starts dating Lark and Tim, he and Tim have a kid as well, and again, that kid is Jesse.
Also Jesse is like, obsessed with his big sister when he's a baby. Like, he only wants to be held by her, he stares at her constantly, y'know? He just really loves his big sister.
OH YEAH WAIT I FORGOT TO TELL YOU SOME STUFF ABOUT BIRDIE IN THE LAST ONE.
Birdie is a bug autistic, she fucking loves insects of all kinds. Every type of insect, there isn't a single one she dislikes. However, Tim really doesn't like bugs much (blame that on waking up in the forest, lying on the floor covered in insects and insect bites) but he tries for Birdie. Like, she wants to raise caterpillars? Sure, they can do that... Except that Birdie releases the butterflies in his room one day and he almost has a panic attack so now he's gotta explain to 3-4 year old Birdie that she really "really can't do that because papa is very scared of bugs, even the pretty ones". Birdie gets it and is allowed to raise caterpillars again, but she does ask if that means she can't dress up as insects for Halloween anymore, if Tim is even scared of the pretty ones.
Obviously, Tim says she is the prettiest bug and only bug he likes. She is very happy and proceeds to dress as a shield bug for the next Halloween. Tim is just very confused by her choice 💀
Confused but supportive dad lol
I think I also forgot to mention some of how Birdie is in 'canon' S,IL while it's just her and Tim. Because even though Tim hides MH from her, he can't really hide the PTSD kinda stuff it left him with. He can't hide the nightmares that wake him up, he can't hide how scared he is when he forgets things, stuff like that. He and Birdie have this kinda routine where if he wakes her up with his nightmare she goes and sleeps in his bed with him. So she'll wake up because he's yelled or something in his dream and she'll go into his room (wake him up if he isn't already awake) and they'll cuddle until they both fall back asleep.
A lot of Tim's nightmares pot MH are about losing people, they're about losing Jay and about losing Brian, they're about killing Alex and lying to Jessica about what really happened and then never seeing her again, stuff like that. But they're also about losing Birdie. They're about sort of "what if" scenarios where he lost her before he even knew he was pregnant, where the fight with Alex at the end caused him to miscarry. They're about losing her to some horrible accident now that he actually has her to look after. They're about the Operator coming back and hurting her. They're about the Operator coming back and Tim doing to Birdie what his mum did to him, sending her away to a mental hospital and rarely coming to visit.
The ones about Birdie are the worst for him, the others he kinda knows how to deal with, he dealt with them during MH and also, they did happen. He did lose those people. In a way that makes it less scary, because it's just reliving the events in a way and he can kinda handle that. But the dreams about losing Birdie? They fuck him up. Some days even sending her off to school after a really bad nightmare about losing her feels like too much and can send him into panic attacks all day.
On days like that he and Birdie have an agreement with the school that Birdie can phone home at break and lunch, and if Tim really needs to he can phone and ask for her outside of break and lunch. He tries not to need that one, he doesn't wanna drag her out of class in front of everyone, he doesn't want the other kids to make fun of her for it, because kids can be mean like that. Birdie doesn't really care what the other kids think. She doesn't even realise that getting called out of class like that could be something to be embarrassed by. All she cares about is "my papa is sad and scared and I can make him feel better by talking to him about bugs" because on those phonecalls she literally just talks about bugs she's seen that day and Tim's just happy to listen and remember that she's alive and safe and strangely obsessed with bugs.
ALSO kinda on the same lines as this, even tho Birdie loves Brian as a teacher, she's kinda suspicious of him when he and Tim get together. Like, not massively, but the first time Brian sees Tim have a nightmare when he stays the night, he ends up getting kicked out of Tim's room by Birdie because she doesn't trust him to know how to help. She kinda gets one of those little kid power trips about being the only one who knows how to look after her papa when he has a nightmare, like, she feels all special because just being there or talking to him makes him feel better, y'know lol?
She gets all high and mighty with Brian and he tries to focus on how funny he finds it rather than panicking about whether Tim is okay.
When Birdie doesn't come out of Tim's room again Brian cracks the door to look in and absolutely melts because Birdie and Tim are sound asleep all cuddled up together. Brian sleeps on the sofa that night and ends up all manners of fucked up because it is NOT a comfy sofa to sleep on and his back is already fucked 💀
Many many spasms were had all the next day. That poor man was not having a good time. Birdie feels sorry for him and tells him that next time he can go and sleep in her bed instead.
He appreciates the offer 💀
It doesn't take much convincing from Tim for Birdie to let Brian stay after the first few times he has a nightmare while Brian is staying over, rather than her causing a whole palava kicking Brian out (cos that's not as simple as just, Brian gets up and walks out of the room, he has to transfer into his wheelchair and make sure he grabs his morning meds in case Birdie won't let him back into the room in the morning when he needs them, and make sure he brings his service dog with him cos she sleeps on the bed with him and Tim, y'know? A little less simple than "get up and walk out". Also his neck is also kinda fucked up from the fall so he has a specific pillow that he always uses, which if he doesn't he always finds his neck all kinda of fucked up in the morning, so he's gotta grab that too lol)
Anyway, eventually Brian just becomes part of their whole nightmare routine and Birdie realises that teaming up with him to look after Tim works way better than doing it on her own. So she and Brian cuddle Tim from both sides and he gets extra reminded that they're both still there. Also Brian's service dog is probably trained to help with PTSD, cos no way Brian isn't also a little fucked in the head after MH, so she can task and do deep pressure for Tim. She's a bit confused at first cos usually she does it for Brian, but she gets it very quickly. Birdie is delighted that a dog can be taught to cuddle on command.
Oh shit you asked about tubes tied and stuff as well lmao. Sorry I got so distracted.
I think after they have Jesse, Tim gets a hysterectomy and all that. He doesn't wanna go through pregnancy and birth a third time, so they get that done so he doesn't have to worry about it. He jokes that if Brian or Lark wants another kid they'll have to figure out which one of them is gonna carry it.
He'd be happy to have another kid, all three of them have pretty good jobs now (Lark's the big moneymaker for the family with Tim close behind, Brian's still a teacher because he adores kids) so they could support a third kid financially, but if they want another kid, they're gonna have to adopt or go through a surrogacy thing rather than Tim carrying it like with Birdie and Jesse.
Oh yeah also the kids names:
Birdie is "Birdie Amelia Wright"
Jesse is "Jesse Alexander Thomas"
Yes, I know it's dumb but I love it. Jesse for Jessica. Alexander for Alex. Amelia for Amy. Tim names his kids so that people who were lost to MH are still kept alive in a little way (yeah yeah Jessica is still alive, but Tim has no way of getting in touch with her so nyeh). In the 'everyone lives' AU that kinda doesn't work as well so Jesse's middle name would probably be different in that, cos Alex is still alive lol. But yeah.
@pianofirepirate helped me come up with the Kids full names :]
I've ranted to them about this shit so much recently lol.
SPEAKING OF RANTING TO THEM here's another thing we came up with:
In the 'canon' of S,IL Birdie does eventually find out about MH. Probably about when she's 15-17 I think? One of her friends tells her about it, like, mentions that her dad's look like two of the guys from this old YouTube horror series and shows her a couple things that people managed to save before Tim deleted the MH channel and all that, cos even in universe I like to think MH got relatively popular, with people thinking it was a fictional horror series. It starts a WHOLE conversation at home with Tim and Brian where they have to explain that yeah all that stuff happened to them, no they really don't remember a lot of it (especially Brian), yes people think it's fictional but it's not, etc etc etc.
Tim and Brian are upset that some 'random' kid at school showed MH to Birdie, but over all it's not a world ending thing. What it does do though, is open the floodgates on jokes about stuff that happened in MH. E.g. "can't believe you pushed me off a building" jokes. Brian uses that one so often and Tim just sighs dramatically and comes back with "First of all, you fell! And also YOU'D BEEN STEALING MY MEDS FOR YEARS AND I DIDNT KNOW WHO YOU WERE BEHIND THAT STUPID MASK!" And Birdie just sits back and watches in glee. She finds it hilarious.
Though the first time Brian accused Tim of pushing him she did go "you pushed him off a building!?!?" Like, completely taken aback and they had to explain the whole thing to her and they probably showed her the video so she could see what actually happened.
Honestly I think that maybe once Birdie is like, 18 they end up putting all the videos back up. Maybe they only privated them rather than deleting them idk. But yeah I think after a while they'd just silently put the videos back up and all the lost media people rejoiced, and there's just the unspoken thing that Birdie can watch the videos if she wants to.
She doesn't.
Like, she watches a little bit of it here and there. But she never actually sits down and watches everything, she just doesn't feel like it's something she needs to do. She watches enough to know who the people being talked about by her dads are (Amy, Jessica etc etc etc) and she watches a couple entries with Jay in them over and over and over again. But generally, she just doesn't want to watch the whole thing, y'know. She doesn't watch all of MH and she hasn't seen a single TTA video.
Wait that reminds me now again (sorry, I keep fucking doing this)
That whole thing with Tim sometimes needing to phone Birdie's school and just, like, make sure she's still alive. That doesn't fully go away when Birdie gets older and goes off to college/university. Tim's always been a bit of a helicopter parent and though he gets better at it, he and Birdie do make time to phone each other pretty much every night. Mostly it's just Birdie talking about her day and what she's been up to, and Tim listening. Occasionally he'll chip in with bits about his day, but mostly he's happy to listen to her talking about her studies. (She's gonna be a bug scientist. I can't remember what they're called. But she's gonna be a big scientist, specifically working in conservation of insects).
If Birdie misses a phone call one evening Tim will definitely start to panic a bit, but he makes sure he only sends her one or two texts to check in before he forces himself to put his phone down and go spend time with Brian and/or Jesse :]
Cos while Birdie's uni age, Jesse is only like, idk 10 at most? So Tim still has a lot to do, y'know? Jesse keeps him and Brian occupied and while he's looking after/spending time with Jesse, Tim manages to take his mind off worrying about Birdie pretty well.
#asks#it got long again 💀#its not my fault tho. i have a lot of thoughts about this fic and its AU and you keep giving me excuses to rant about it#I just checked. it's 2.3k again 💀#anyway#marble hornets#tim wright#jay merrick#brian thomas#mh jam#mh brim#polyhornets#tho alex isnt included so is that still polyhornets or is it just aome combination of tim brian and jays names??#alex kralie#he is mentioned briefly lol#mh sorry its locked#fic/series rated E on ao3#in case anyone would prefer not to read that#pretty girl propaganda au
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Merry Christmas!
And an early happy new year, since I'll be traveling at that time and won't be able to post anything. Sorry for the long disappearance. I wish I had some exciting excuse like being abducted by the fae or becoming a spy, but really I've just been going through a lot and haven't been drawing much. Here are a couple of fantasy style Klausen (or maybe the more widely recognized Krampi) by way of apology. I hope you all have been good this year.
#my trash#/end classification tags#also for everyone who was wishing me well after toothless died: i've had a chance to adjust#i'm not happy but i've adjusted#i got a new kitten to keep the calico company and so he's helping to distract me and i've been keeping busy training him#i've pretty much finished moving in to the new place but i don't know when i'll be leaving again so it's an uneasy period of peace#not unpacking much yet until i have an idea of where i'll be in the spring/summer because otherwise it could be a lot of unnecessary bother#but yeah#again sorry for the long absence#i've missed you guys#i meant to pop in at least a LITTLE bit more frequently during my hiatus but real life has no regards for my plans
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i know that when carlo suddenly decided that he needs to marry guy made a whole list in his head n like had a deadlines n shit. like it was some kind of a task he needed to do
#whole fkin campaign. idk still not sure how it was but man was in his peacock era for sure#n it's like i need to find a wife i need to make it in 2 (or whatever) months etc etc#but its like a bg task n he didn't speak bout it w others. like he just said that he needs to marry#also idk if i mentioned this but i wrote lauretta/carlo first meet long ago n she was w her fiance#i just listened to “pretty music” again sorry. i like that uh governor or tf this character is#changes his behaviour from one woman to another so real. n that fkin “but im a lucky guy who gets to dance w u”#and “since u know what i need i'll even take your lead” <- fr like im sure lauretta screwed him for several times#just to see if he's really serious good old manipulations w men nothing new nothing superstitious#upd. he probably made a mind budget for this (i mean finding a wife)#n bout lauretta screwing carlo its like in this ukranian song Ти ж мене пiдманула ти ж мене пiдвела#but since he's a strategist he's patient (like i wanted to accent this quality sm i wrote#that carlo started thinkin bout taking moretti's place back in 1932)#anyway. “Challenge accepted” situation and idk fr for some reason when it's carlo eddie lauretta it's always bout playing#so lauretta started playing n he entered this play too. i don't even think he was exactly mad (maybe only for the 1st time)#at this point i have a clear image of how they met n their first dates (cringe word) n how he proposed#ie how it started how it ended. ending was fast i believe (deadline is approaching 🤯)#what was in between i don't exactly know but i wondered just now if he also screwed lauretta (i think yes)#bc i don't knooowwww frrr all this is so bout playing to me#but bout ending its like. boss fight (<- sex) game credits (<- marriage) ((speedrun))#also i was thinkin if he even ever met lauretta's parents (i always thought that no but idk)#can imagine lauretta calling carlo a good friend. i also hm ok#i started to write a comic like a month ago just bout falcone polycule n it starts w#carlo who says that he finally needs to get married n lauretta's mother askin (in a pushing way) why#her n her fiance still aren't married like girl tf. she jinxed it i guess#upd. carlo/lauretta is funny in my head bc right before marriage he did fell in love lauretta didn't but guy's profitable we'll take him👍#she did only after marriage i think bc it was the time when u can finally relief bc it's over#u don't need to think bout no yes no no yes yes will it work or won't etc#woman was able to fucking chill at last. she got the money sorry i mean the man#he's not runnin away let's finally look who the fuck is even this man. why he won't shut up bout astronomy can i get a divorce <- jk#but yeah “я тобi брехала” is so lauretta right after marriage to me (“i dont even know the color of ur hair”)
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I finally busted out the India Ink I bought a few years ago and never used until today in my sketchbook. I will DEFINITELY be playing around with it more because this was so much fun. My sketchbook is unfortunately not made for multiple washes but idc.
#my art#ninelivesart#art#ink drawing#sketchbook#I’ve been trying to push myself to use my sketchbooks more#I have a bad relationship with them but we’re healing childhood traumas in 2024#anyway this was just a messy ballpoint pen sketch that I took from my ugly sketchbook and put in my pretty one#I diluted the ink and just did multiple washes to build up the tones#then used an acrylic paint marker for the little highlights#my sketchbook isn’t made for water based media (or like anything other than pencils really)#but I think it held up well regardless#I’ll definitely be playing around with the ink more#I actually got it for inktober one year and never ended up using it#but I’m regretting that now because it was so fun#I only have blue and black though but I think that’ll be extra fun to play around with#btw this is an oc#I was inspired by some Pinterest things#I’m going to make this whole spread about her because I’m trying to make myself like my sketchbooks again#long tags sorry!
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some thoughts regarding joyful (not definitive)
this is more of a personal post about my relationship with this game, but i realized something important a while ago, and it's that, out of the 3 times i've played lisa the joyful, i had never played it again after changing my mind about buddy
yes i disliked her at first im so sorry, i was biased on brad and didnt like others dunking on him GHAGFSGF the first 2 times i played i didnt like buddy a lot, the 3rd time i was starting to take her more seriously but i honestly just replayed for the battles and secrets, didnt even finish it back then.
so i have to say, outside of the new content, replaying joyful felt absolutely necessary for me, after starting to emphatize more with buddy (which ive been doing for like a year and half, still never played again) and not only that but my thoughts on rando. i've been looking wrongly at him since the start becuz i thought he was simply just nice 'rando did nothing wrong' then i realized he, in fact did things wrong, and i had become a bit, hmm, disinterested in him, because i had in mind his flaws too much and it started to feel like he didnt care much about buddy. sorry if this is mean as hell rando fans, but luckily playing again gave me a different view of him. i think rando cares, he cares as much as he can but he cant just agree to everything, there are things that simply just oppose eachother and i think this eats him alive and makes him a little lame in how he handles things. i noticed he mentions the kidnapping at the start quite a lot, which he could be feeling intensely guilty about, even moreso, with the implication that buddy was assaulted, which he even asks her about right after. and even if buddy doesn't bring it up ever again, he seems still worried about this. and i liked paying attention to that. i enjoy not seeing him as perfect but he is still caring
on the topic of buddy, i started to become more and more attached to her over time and it actually pains me to think about her sometimes. much like with lisa, thinking about how they were literally just kids going through the worst makes me cry at times. during this playthrough of joyful i had something strange happen and it's that i'd get actual goosebumps reading some of the dialogue, the things buddy would say to rando, the kidnapping, the flavor text in battles and things the enemies would say to her. i think i finally played joyful like i was supposed to and im happy about that, im rly feeling like drawing buddy and rando now. theyre not perfect siblings but it's good to be assured that they cared about eachother, i needed that
another thing i rly rly needed since a long while ago was to cry for lisa again, i played the brad hallucination fight in spanish (only that part, cuz i wanted to see how the name 'chiqui' got handled) and it made me cry so bad, especially i noticed that right after the dialogue where brad tells buddy to not call him dad, his next phase is literally named 'dad', i never paid attention to that. but anyway it seems this game affects me more if i play in spanish, might be because the first time i played it was the fan translation, very nostalgic. some bits of the new content in painful and joyful made me cry, too, mostly the lisa bits. even if there are some things im not convinced by, i know im thankful for that, idk, i like getting emotional and crying, this game means a lot to me, but for a while i could only cry if at some point i started thinking about it too much, i couldn't cry while playing, so this was nice, im a sensitive and lame guy
#lisa rpg#long post#sorry for being BIASED AS HELL the first time i played#just know that i got cured and buddy hate is no more#never againnn#i practically stopped being mad at her considerably soon#yet still never played it again#maybe cuz joyful doesnt have a lot to explore#funny that it lacks so much and yet it's still enjoyable at least to me#it's also very pretty#maybe ill talk about the new content later i still wanna rewatch it first#i think what happened on my first playthroughs is that the first time i played simply for completion#to know how the story ended#and then it was more about exploration of the game and what did it have to offer#rather than studying the characters#which i started doing later by reading the stuff other fans would say#lisa ramblings
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thoughts on ming-hua x p'li??
Unfairly attractive OTP rare pair that deserve a lot more love than they get, what else can I say?
#I forgot about this ask sorry#once it goes too far down my notifications list my 'out of sight out of mind' script kicks in#I don't do it on purpose I just have the object permanence of a newborn#or perhaps a cat#but anyway. yes. Ming'Li#I actually once made a catradora edit for them#must have been sometime in 2021 or so. maybe a bit earlier idk#I'm just as obsessed with them as with the main RL pairings. in fact just know that the RL are a polycule#I'm pretty sure I can recite every fic about them on Ao3 from memory#you should have heard the screaming when Kat wrote a fic about them in 2021...#I once started writing one too but it's long since been deleted and I'm not willing to try again#I'd rather not write at all tbh but sometimes I just Have To for events and such#especially when drawing refuses to cooperate#I'm working on the remaining sapphic week prompts I promise#okay I got off topic again#Kat has actually been indulging me with this ship a little recently#would be more than a little if somebODY ACTUALLY FINISHED HER SNIPPETS FOR ONCE#I know. I know. I'm one to talk#I'm making progress on the qader/daneli one I swear. I'm hoping to finish it tomorrow when I get back from grandma's#this week was A Lot#and it just doesn't get any easier does it...
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Hi, I actually have an Astoria question for you if that’s ok.
So the only Astoria routes I read in full were Astraeus and Medusa, where MC rejects her divine heritage (violently in the former and more amicably in the latter, but still, rejection). The fear always being that if she accepted it, therefore accepting Hera, she’d lose herself in the process and all that.
Anyway, I did read the first episodes of everyone’s season 4s because I wanted to see the kid sprites, and it seemed like in some routes she does actually become a goddess?
And I’ve just wondered about that for years, like what happened in those routes and how did it work? I know that MC fearing she’d lose herself in Astraeus and Medusa doesn’t necessarily mean it would have happened, but how does it all go down in the routes where she accepts divinity?
Hi!! That's perfectly fine, I love getting asks about Astoria!
But you're right!
Alex's, Hades', Cerberus', and Chimera's routes all end with MC taking Hera's power in some way. Hydra's, Medusa's, and Astraeus' routes end with MC remaining, for the most part, human.
In Alex's route, Hera is first awoken in MC at the end of season 2, where they discover that she's Hera's vessel, and that if she awakens, her body will become Hera's. Ares briefly awakens her in the season finale by forcing his aura into her, but MC fights and succeeds in regaining control. Hera, it should be noted, does NOT want to awaken again, and MC knows this.
Come season 3, Zeus finds out, and by the season finale, he has dragged her and Alex up to Olympus so that he can reawaken Hera, no matter the cost. Alex fights Zeus, and Hera speaks to MC as they do, noting that Alex will fight to the death for her, and offers her the choice to become a demigod like Alex, taking over her power in the process. MC accepts this, and Hera's power awakens in her; she becomes a demigod, and Hera passes on entirely.
(In the thrilling end, this is slightly different; Zeus channels his aura into her ring- Hera's ring- and beckons to Hera, awakening her. Hera then tells MC that one of them has to die because her power can't stay sealed anymore. She offers immortality to MC, and MC takes it.)
There's a little throwaway line in one of the specials that comes from choosing a certain dialogue option that mentions Hera's throne is now MC's, meaning she did fully inherit the goddess' power in that fight, and she's taken her place.
In Hades' route, she actually starts "becoming" godly at the start of season 3. That is, she's being kept on Olympus under the guise of preparing for her and Hades' wedding, while being there is bringing Hera's power to the forefront. (There's a line in the first episode iirc where MC states sometimes she actually begins to glow while on Olympus, because of Hera's power).
In his route, it's clearly stated and portrayed that in order to awaken Hera and bring her back, the gods must perform a ritual to do so, which is only consistently shown in Hades', Astraeus', and Hydra's routes.
Hades is searching for some way lost to the gods that would keep MC anchored amidst the ritual, so that she doesn't die, while the other gods are impatient and keep pushing to awaken her asap. The ritual comes about during the season finale, wherein every god speaks 'ancient words' and fills her with their power; she holds onto Hades, and its their love that anchors her in place, allowing her to survive and remain herself as Hera's power fully awakens, and she becomes a full-blooded goddess. All of the gods are exhausted afterwards, stumbling back into their thrones.
(In the thrilling end, Hades chooses to do the ritual by himself, hoping that doing it alone will secure her safety. He drains himself, pushing his aura into her artifact, and is visibly pained by doing so. It's also a MUCH more painful process for MC here, and she nearly loses herself to Hera.)
In Chimera's route, it plays out a lot differently. Typhon 'awakens' Hera's power in the season 2 finale, but as a last-ditch effort to help her and Chimera win in a fight against Prime.
In season 3, they face challenges from Echidna. During this season, MC starts experiencing symptoms, takes a pregnancy test, and finds it to be positive. She and Chimera assume she's actually pregnant, and Echidna accuses her of trying to babytrap him, essentially. They wind up arguing with her in the last two episodes of the season, and when her patience runs dry, she attacks them- but it does nothing, because Hera's power has fully awakened, and MC recognizes that she's become the goddess.
Afterwards, the gods ask if she's truly pregnant, at which point she admits to not knowing as she never took a proper test (human ones don't work properly when monsters and gods are involved), and she then discovers that her pregnancy symptoms were a result of her body changing into Hera's.
Meaning, she was in the process of becoming a goddess the entire last season without fully realizing it; she's not actually pregnant. iirc, there's no worry within Chimera's route that Hera will take over MC's body, and there's no issue with the gods seeking to awaken her themselves.
(Interestingly, though not much changes about the awakening in the thrilling end thanks to her acknowledging that awakening in the episode before, Chimera states, "The mere fact that she remains herself through this transformation..." which means that there WAS a chance of Hera awakening and taking over, though it was never something they actively worried about happening.)
In Cerberus' route, it's the most obscure of all, in that we don't actually see it happen. Season 3 ends with MC still human, and wanting to stay that way. Hades says somewhere in Cerb's route that MC will become Hera, and MC is like "mmmm no I don't think I want that" but clearly something changes, because come season 4, she's Hera. My guess is that something similar to Chimera's route happened- a false pregnancy that was a symptom of Hera awakening, unraveling inside of her. It feels like it was something that just happened without much fanfare, something that she genuinely couldn't stop because it Just Happens.
The biggest thing regarding Hera to happen in Cerberus' route is that Zeus tries to force her first into marrying himself, and then Hercules. Something about how Hera shouldn't marry a monster, which Hades fights back against, considering Cerberus is his son. They don't do anything to try awakening Hera though.
Anddd that's all of those guys :]
But since you didn't read Hydra's route either..
I'd just really love to say that when Zeus tries to awaken Hera in Deeandra (Hercules' wife, claiming to be the lost goddess in s2), he claims they need a human sacrifice to do so. Which is a completely different method of awakening Hera when no other route tries to kill a non-vessel to awaken her. (If your guess is that MC was going to be the sacrifice, you would be right, and i will endlessly laugh over how unlucky she is LMAO)
Following that, in season 3, Zeus tries to awaken Hera by flooding his aura into MC, but she's sort of "blocked" from using her artifact most of the season due to a head injury early on, so Zeus' attempt is fruitless. Also through this season, the other gods continuously try to convince MC to become Hera, and she refuses them each time. They don't force her, and ultimately accept her decision at the end of Season 3, after surviving a fight with Zeus.
#lovestruck voltage#lovestruck#astoria: fate's kiss#afk mc#afk hera#hera#alex cyprin#hades#chimera#cerberus#hydra#astoria#THIS UM. GOT PRETTY LONG. SORRY ABOUT THAT but i dont know when to shut up when i get to talk about astoria teehee#anyways thank you again for asking!!!!#the ways the different routes all go about Hera's awakening are so unique and interesting aughgnghhh#long post
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