#(since it didnt come out much like i had originally intended it to and is now more ambiguous)

[jikooklove9795]

I do believe they’ve been in a long term romantic relationship for a long time. One point that us jikookers tend to avoid (with good reasons, it’s filmed by a saeseng) is the clip of what looks like JK holding a woman seen through a window? What do you think that was about?

Hi arundhati94-blog!

First of all let me make it clear that I'm not going to ignore any of your or others asks regarding Jikook. The only condition to all those sending in the asks is to be polite and respectful towards Jimin, Jungkook or any other members. Otherwise I'm very open to discussions regarding Jikook and will try my best to respond to you guys.

Now let's get into the discussion, shall we? So, do I think that its Jungkook in that video?

NO. I don't.

Why I think its not Jungkook and the video is not of his apartment?

There are many reasons. The first one being the crap quality of the video with the faces of the man and woman in it completely wiped out thus making them unrecognizable. All the phones out there offer a much better quality. So, how come we get a video of this poor quality? How come in other photos which they leaked of him alone in his house the quality is better and the angle is completely different? The second reason is regarding the apartment in the video. The apartment rented by BH is in the ground floor, has a courtyard and is surrounded by a high fence. In the video the wall panel seems to be in different places and the windows are different too. Another difference is the apartment in the video has a vase while Jungkook's apartment has a lamp in that same area but not a vase.

Another thing which is highly suspicious is the timing of the video and the length of it. I have heard the narrative that its a video from Feb 2023 cause the man in the video had bangs and long hair similar to Jungkook during the early months of 2023. So, why keep it in the wraps for almost 7 months if it was originally captured in February? Why not release it straight away? Whatever damage, the people behind this video intended to do to Jungkook will be the same irrespective of the time of its release. Be it in Feb 2023 or before the release of Seven or before 3D or his album. And they only managed to capture a 14s or 15s long video? Where's the before and after clips? Very hard to believe they couldn't capture more.

This video was done intentionally to make the audience believe that it was Jungkook. Hence, the similar but not the exact apartment, the video being so grainy that its impossible to identify the people in it however make it look like the man has a silhouette similar to Jungkook, a doberman. The open curtains get me every time. Cause this was around the time Jungkook complained about being stalked, had a video of him taken at the gym. So, they want us to believe that Jungkook would have his curtains open if there was a "supposed gf" at his apartment??!!

So, that video is either of another couple or intentionally set up by other people to sabotage him. I'm leaning more into the latter option.

I highly doubt its a sasaeng video cause of why they didnt release it immediately after it was captured in Feb 2023 (since they claim its a video from Feb) and cause of how they posted this video and then vanished. There was a tweet on X a few days before the weibo video was released warning the fans about a fake video to sabotage Jungkook and not to believe in it.

We need to remember that they work in an industry which has a dark side ruled by people who are capable of such deeds. I don't wanna share much about this but its not impossible. So, always trust the artist you stan rather than questionable sources.

Now let's talk about Jungkook denying the gf rumors.

He was on Station head when he was getting repetitive messages asking him if he has a gf and this was how he answered them:

Now to those that'll say "but he didnt deny the video, would've been a fling, would've broken up". He already knew what storm was going on and chose to address it. He could have chosen not to. And the Jungkook I have seen so far would have clearly admitted if he had a gf. Cause don't you remember the AHL Jungkook guys??!! He was just starting his career at that time. But he didnt hide that he had a gf before. I still remember that conversation cause of the words he used.

Do you think this Jungkook who was just starting his career who openly talked about his dating experience and how he wanted to get tattoos even though Yoongi asked him not to cause it'll be frowned upon by the fans, will be afraid of admitting he had a gf? I don't think so.

But the crowd was quick to spin more narratives when he denied having a gf. They accused him of being a f**kboy going around sleeping with women. He saw all this and decided to show up a few hours later after denying of having a gf. This time he went head on denying the allegations and even exposing himself to an extent (I was shocked) by posting this TikTok trend:

He captioned it:

So, he chose to do a Tiktok trend which was pretty old by that time and captioned it as "I go the other way".

Those who are gonna say "He just did the trend in the opposite way hence the caption". STOP. Cause we all know its obvious what he meant when he captioned it like that when the singer was mentioning names of girls. He could have done it the opposite way without the caption. And he deleted it after a few minutes after he was sure that those that cared about him got the meaning behind it.

Now he has done something similar like this in 2019 when he was wrongly accused of dating Mijoo.

This was the first time he appeared on a live after the whole circus. It looked like he came there to make that exact statement. It was out of the blue. And the choice of his words were more specific to be exact. Even Hoseok was confused. You can take it however way you want. Either simply like Jungkook complimenting Hoseok or just try to connect the time he opted to say it. A time when he was rumored to be dating a girl. After Jungkook has shown us all where his interest lies in, which is obviously not with a girl but with a boy for whom he wears his heart on his sleeve. I choose to believe the latter option.

You can watch the live here. Jungkook appears at the 24 min mark. Just notice his face and expression when he says "I never thought I would fall for a man". He's letting us know through these small moments. Just read it with the bigger picture taking timing into the context.

Also, let's not forget how he answered this question:

Q: How would you describe yourself in five words?

🐰: I'm still me

This was in Festa 2019. "I'm still me" is a famous line from the gay movie Love, Simon released in 2018. He posted the "I'm still me" artwork too. And the name of his documentary:

Read it along with how he has used songs in his GCFs which are all either gender neutral or with the "he" pronoun.

Named his flower bouquet "Various Loves"

He chose to work with CK. Apart from being a fan of the brand the partnership is special to him cause CK's values resonates with him.

And CK is very LGBTQ+ friendly using LGBTQ+ models. They have partnered with various NGOs in support of LGBTQ+ advocacy, equality and safety.

And the day Jungkook broke the Internet with this:

So, let's listen to what Jungkook says and trust him instead of a blurry video. Cause he has been honest and transparent with us as much as possible. Let's give so much love and support to this boy

Have a nice day arundhati94-blog!

Credits to the owner of the video

[radiation]

Ok here are my brief thoughts on Mouthwashing. SPOILERS WARNING And mostly negative sorry. Lots of things i liked but i think most ppl have said that stuff already so i wont repeat it

Loved the art direction, really loved the dialogue, I enjoyed the game a lot in the first half. Unfortunately towards the halfway point where it began leaning further into the horror game shit it really started losing me. The gameplay segments where you get chased around by something or other were seriously just horrendously, horrendously badly designed and a lot of the puzzles felt repetitive or inscrutable (Altho keep in mind I'm terrible at solving puzzles/finding shit in video games. When people talk about "yellow paint" I'm 100% who that shit is for)

It wasnt just the gameplay though, I also just wasn't a huge fan of the metaphorical / scary visuals / out-of-body experience stuff. I felt it slowed down the pace of events and put a barrier between me and the reality of the story being told. It rarely communicated new plot points and ideas and mostly restated information I'd already received verbally in an abstract way. Yes they were visually stunning, very technically impressive, and a few felt genuinely novel and well-placed (the reveal of the mouthwash ad on the TV fucking ruled), but I feel like for the most part those moments were almost obligatorily following modern indie horror game trends. I understand the point of that kind of stuff and it definitely can be effective, but idk i see it so much Im just personally very tired of it unless it really justifies its own existence, and in this case i unfortunately felt it didnt

I also didnt find the sort of "twist" with the main character very compelling and the more extreme his actions became the more I became disappointed. Like once you start getting a guy feeding another dude his own leg at a table with a bunch of dead ppl set on chairs with party hats on (even if its intended to be metaphorical) you have killed my suspension of disbelief. Especially since the character work at the beginning of the game felt a lot more grounded it was just like really. I get its horror but thats trite as fuck sorry.

A lot of this comes down to personal preference but if it were me Id have pared down the gameplay so its more towards the visual novel direction and made the scenario and character behaviors toward the end more grounded/real world so the horror comes more from the Real Fucked Up And Horrible Shit That Is Actually Happening, not the abstraction of it. I really found the character dialogue so much more compelling, original, and better at communicating ideas than the metaphorical visuals, so just own that instead. Like i personally wouldnt have had much of this stuff or any at all but again, definitely personal preference, so if it we're going middle ground -- horror visuals can still exist in some form, but i think would be better as a backdrop that fades in and out rather than being something that, in order to experience, you have to totally disengage with the story at hand for long stretches

Another thing I felt and like, sorry this is pretty mean, but as much as people praise the story it really isn't doing much of anything new or different. It's largely well-executed, but as far as sci-fi and horror goes, it's really quite generic. A well-put together combination of a handful of movies and games and whatnot, but rarely much more than the sum of its parts. The moments where it went beyond that were in the very real-life themes and the character work, which again got lost little by little due to its increasing insistence on being an indie horror game. The point for me isn't that everything has to be totally original and not at all contrived, like familiar ideas being well executed can be really really powerful, its more that with all the issues there were i didnt feel the story was strong enough to completely redeem it

Also slowly dawned on me that Anya is pretty much just shelley duvall and it started bothering me like i couldnt stop seeing it

+ I found the writing kind of misogynist. Anya isnt a bad character but if you look at all the individual points of her character its like wow you had to have the singular woman in the cast have literally all of those traits and all of those things happen to her? Its very like 1980s male auteur movie director type shit. And if the shelley duvall thing wasnt a total coincidence that like, especially does not put a good taste in my mouth

Also Swansea fucking rules best character eva

[nerves-nebula]

Hello! Im the asker about ur neglected turtles voices! Love the analysis about my ask lmao, if it helps explain anything ive been following for a minute but yeah, never extensively went thru ur blog lol

I mostly assumed 2012 bc their dynamics remind me a bit more of that generation than the others minus leo (rottmnt), which i was going to mention but then didnt want to over complicate the question lmao

Thank u for answering tho! Cant wait to see more ^^

i love when i'm right. thank u for coming back XOXO <3

i've heard a few people say that they thought mine was inspired by 2012 for that reason which (if i may wade into a simmering fandom war for a moment) is kind of a point towards the "2012 is abusive/dysfunctional" people since my guys are actually based mostly on my family + other stories of abuse i've heard & read about.

like if you see an intentionally fucked up set of dynamics and go "wow kinda like 2012" then idk man. kinda hard to come back from that.

anyway here's more 2012 abuse ranting shit but keep in mind that i havent watched most of 2012 and i am not being super serious here ok. don't ATTACK AND KILL me or w/e its notttt that important

the funny thing is that I never originally cared about the whole is 2012 abusive argument because the clear answer to me was "it probably wasnt intended to be, since this kind of writing where everyone is mean to each other was basically The Way a lot of kids shows were written back then, but it can definitely come off that way, especially to people sensitive to shitty family lives and who see something familiar in the way these characters interact"

and that's basically still my stance (if you can really have a hard stance on something so unimportant)

but then I kept seeing arguments against 2012 being abusive. and they were so poorly thought out and unconvincing and just BAD that they actually made me more convinced it was abusive. cuz before i didn't think about it much and i kind of just took as it, like, well this is slapstick comedy so that's the slapstick. whatever. I was mostly focused on the doylist explanation for things because it gets more complicated if you look at it in a watsonian way. But not really complicated in a fun way tbh.

it would be so easy to just say "I don't really read it as abusive personally" but some ppl gotta come out with "see they CANT be abusive because they LIKE EACH OTHER sometimes" or the INFAMOUS "thats just how siblings act lmao these idiots have never had siblings before" and its like. that's so stupid that i'm now going to read it as abuse out of spite.

tho i'm sure there were also people insisting it 100% HAD to be abusive and if you didnt read it that way you were INVALIDATING ABUSE VICTIMS. since fandom-wide arguments tend to be started by a handful of people who cant just leave shit alone heff. i wonder how its going over there rn. i dont really keep up with fandom stuff. do people still argue about this? whatever

[mrstellmeafuckingsecret]

in some jurisdictions (including california in the usa and in the uk as well more recently) pantsing someone can result in sexual assault (or simple assault) charges, even if it's done between students. swm was def written to be standard issue bullying, but a decent amount of the modern western audience is gonna read it in a particular context that is familiar to them/filter it through anti-bullying lectures they've gotten in school/etc.

okok i def get this. i do have a few thoughts they probably arent very well explained but i will try to put them in words best i can.

tldr at the bottom. !!

i do wanna j put it out there, generally, that james & sirius were complete assholes for this and by extension, so were remus and peter. i dont like snape but this was shitty and inexcusable. if it sounds like i'm justifying them in this, i'm not (promise 💔)

i know today it's more often than not considered sexual assault/public indecency , which is totally justified ofc, but this scene didn't take place today - it took place around like . half a centaury ago. lots changed.

yes, ofc, it was wrong then too and even if it didn't mean j&s would go through legalities and stuff, they shouldn't've done it but back then it wasn't considered to be so bad and it was fairly normalized, they probably saw it and did it (albeit in a much crueler way).

hogwarts doesn't teach mannerisms , they never sat through anti-bullying segments or got taught the hard limits or how to fight back vs aggravate. it was written as bullying , because it was. it wasnt intended s/a but that doesn't mean it wasn't heinous .

s/a comes w intent, james and sirius had no intent further than to show their power over him + get rid of their boredom.

istg they were so horrible.

according to wikipedia, this is the definition of sexual assault

Sexual assault is an act in which one intentionally sexually touches another person without that person's consent, or coerces or physically forces a person to engage in a sexual act against their will.

according to this definition, it's not s/a. it's still blurry, if it happened today i would think it be, because james would choose a specifically sexually violent way of bullying snape, but at the time pantsing didn't have those connotations (esp between boys). obv you can still believe what you want , this is just my two cents.

(i'm also gonna reply to some comments from my original post here since it's easier than responding in the comment section).

@eddvirusz : there's nothing sexual about the scene, and i know s/a is a pretty umbrella term that more specific things fall into but i dont find this specific instance to fall under that. it probably was just a big bullying scene for him bc they didnt have the nuances we have today. ik jkr is sexist but also. 70s were sexist. male s/a wasnt considered shit . but that's not the point of it, because there was no sexual intent which, as i said needs to be present. pantsing itself is not considered s/a according to most sites.

@silentgirlspeaksout : okay i just read through the entirety of swm and this is the order of how they hurt each other physically/attempt to + talking abt what u adressed:

snape attempts to hurt james first. james calls out to him, and snape reaches for his wand. you could say that snape expected an attack and was prepping for self defense or something, but ehhh... i dont believe that. let snape be an imperfect victim, he tried to hurt first

james responded w expelliarmus

he then did impedimenta (slows down/stops target - can also blow them away (which it did) if used more strongly)

james and sirius just taunted him while he lay for a while, throwing insults etc etc . power play.

4. snape tries to throw hexes at them but he can't bc his wand is far away

5. james uses scourgify. i dont exactly know if this is like a bad hex, bc it just cleans, so it must just fill snape's mouth w soap ? ig it has chemicals and stuff, but i doubt pureblood james & sirius knew of that. it did make him gag & choke though, that's when lily enters

james saying 'he exists' seems like a joke ..... i 1000% believe j&s & snape were both horrible to each other and james wasnt gonna stop in the middle of his little show to explain that to lily in detail

this is also where he says 'go out w me and i'll leave him alone' - youre right ,,, this was gross. it was played as shits and giggles i think, 'oh haha he never does miss an opportunity to ask her out, does he!', but it's icky . same , it's no s/a but its harassment soo . big L james. this entire post is kind of a big L for james, and sirius too but he has a lot of Ls.

also, "choke him out with soap before he does anything," - he attempted to do shit

"so I don’t blame him for fighting back with a cutting hex after he’s been hit with several spells" - i get it, vaguely, but not in the same sense (?). if james only hit him with these three hexes and snape went to draw blood, i'd say snape was in the wrong (sorry?), but they had a history - snape drew blood because james and snape had done this before, they've gone violent

6. snape cuts james' face (deep enough that it instantly splatters to his robes)

7. hanging snape upside down the first time

lily tells them to back off,

8. james let him off (*threw him down)

9. sirius hits him with a body-bind spell that temporarily paralyzes him

lily tells them to stop,

10. james mutters counter curse

snape calls lily a mudblood + her exit,

11. snape is hung again and we're left unsure whether or not he was exposed or not

there can be arguments made that, like you said, this is only unconfirmed bc it wouldnt be allowed to be in a children's book otherwise (but the book deals w nazis n like a hundred other things so idk it may be left on purpose)

you say jkr is weird about s/a esp w men and while obv #fuckjkr men and s/a discussions generally were pretty weird in the 70s which is why james mightve never considered that a possibility as to what he did + snape never considered it as s/a. fuck jkr tho

for the mary and mulciber thing , i was just yapping tbh but tysm ! fuck mulciber hail mary

ok i think ive yapped enough gn

tldr : s/a requires there to be something sexual taking place. you can argue assault, you can't argue sexual given time frame and context and just .... anything. but that doesn't mean it wasn't terrible and disgusting. j&s sucked ass for this, i may not like him but ill go pro snape where he's a victim.

not s/a, still unforgivable. snape is an imperfect victim because he's violent too. james and sirius are sadists and they should talk that out with someone that isnt each other.

[fivie]

There's a thought about umw that I've had for a long long time and since I didnt exactly have anywhere else to out it I thought I'd share it here.

It's about Montparnasse, or rather, the apparent lack of him and where oh where is he.

Now, obviously, there are many les mis characters who aren't in the story, it makes perfect sense, eg. javert who is implied once or twice but isn't actually mentioned.

But anyway, while thinking about umw my thoughts often turn to R's life before the story. I mean, it has been many centuries and while I can imagine it Nit Being Much, there had to be Events to fill the time, right? Some people he met, some historical events he's witnessed, etc etc.

I've always imagined imagined Grantaire to have met Floréal some time in the 1600s or 1700s and them being very loose sort of friends. Acquaintances is a better word maybe.

But the one concept that cannot for the love of everything leave my mind is Montparnasse sort of being there, throughout the ages. At first I thought, a fallen angel maybe? But that doesn't seem to fit him at all, and the idea that I arrived at was that Montparnasse was a Reaper. I'm going to be serious, I haven't been keeping up with spn for several seasons now and my memory of the lore is very fragmented so I'm not sure how it holds up canon-wise, but it seemed neat to me. He accompanied R during the worst of times, when he witnessed the most deaths, wars, revolutions, massacres, the sort of atrocities that made Grantaire so cynical and distrustful and That Way in general. Maybe they became sort of friends. Maybe Montparnasse was the Reaper intended to bring the kids from Smoleńsk across. Who knows. Maybe the whole theory is bullshit and he's either some rando doing Crime around Lyon or he doesn't exist in the universe at all, but it's still fun to think about.

Anyway that's all I hope it's at least a bit entertaining 🙌🙌 + tysm for all the hard work on the fic it's taken up at least 85% of my brain at all times for thr last 2.5 (maybe more?) years<33

Ooh that's a cool idea! It would have been fun to have a Reaper character in UMW, especially since humans can't see them (unless they're dying or, y'know, dead) so it would be someone only Grantaire could interact with. Or maybe Jehan can perceive Reapers too, which would add a tasty Romantic quality to his abilities – he sees dead people and also the embodiments of death itself 💕 also I imagine a Reaper, a keeper of the Natural Order, would have a thing or two to say about resurrected-ghost-Feuilly 😂

I actually do have my own UMW version of Montparnasse, since he was originally meant to feature but got cut due to the story already spiralling madly out of my control without me adding even more characters and plot threads. I think I wrote about him in a post once but it was like a bajillion years ago so for funs let me tell you about him here:

He IS some rando doing crime around Lyon!! (Or possibly Paris, I never 100% decided.) He's sort of like a dark mirror of Jehan; he's human and also a psychic, but much less naturally powerful, and has started dabbling in witchcraft and other unsavoury things to enhance his abilities. He's wildly jealous of Jehan's powers and also considers Jehan to be an idiotic waste of those powers because he won't use them for his own gain. He comes from a much bleaker background than Jehan and had to fend for himself from a young age, and so has become very adept at using his abilities to manipulate people and is now a very successful and wealthy con artist. He's not 'evil', which is a pretty strong term in a world with demons etc, but circumstances have molded him into a person who does not trust others and is very out for himself, and his psychic abilities make him somewhat arrogant and he considers ordinary people to be inferior and fair game for him to mess with.

As you can see my personal take on Montparnasse is a bit darker than the pure neutrality of a Reaper-type character 😂 In this AU I envisioned him as kind of the same type of character as Spike from Buffy, in that he starts out as a legitimate threat and thorn in the protagonists' sides but reluctantly develops into an ally as time goes on.

However I know that fandom interpretations of Montparnasse vary wildly and all are valid, and since he's almost definitely never going to actually show up in UMW, please have fun imagining whatever version of him you enjoy most!! I just also have a lot of thoughts with nowhere to go and will take any opportunity to share 😂

[w1f1n1ghtm4r3]

followup fun facts about together, to that promised aquarium

this is gonna be just kinda a disorganized post of random things so uh. dont mind that.

the event title is actually a double reference ^^ its both a callback to 1dt with 1c promising to find time to do things as friends despite getting busier (even if theres no ichika this time), and also a reference to harusakis first kizuna!

colopale you still havent given us that aquarium they said theyd go to. theres a reason i had to do it myself. the fact that theres not an aquarium event in general is a crime tbh i know theres some romantic connotations with a pair going to an aquarium but theres very easy solutions to avoiding that? sending a group of 3+ characters together, having them run into other characters while there, inviting someone else along (even if they cant go, it helps make it feel more like a friend thing i think). i did a bit of the latter two, as you mightve noticed! in general though its just SUCH an obviously fun event theme i cant beleive we havent had one yet

while i am a known harusaki shipper, i kept the story pretty light on the stuff that could be read as explicitly shippy, since when im trying to make fake events, i like to think about how itd work in canon, which means keeping it low on explicit ship content. plenty of stuff that could be taken as ship food (as id like it to be!) but nothing that would alienate non shippers from enjoying the story too.

i actually didnt write shizukasas presence as intended for ship content at all though, but im definitely okay with people taking it that way lol they can be on a date too if you want them to be. my plan with them was simply theyre childhood friends too but dont get to spend time together that often anymore -> their schedules line up with a free day and tsukasa heard about the aquarium from saki, decides to invite shizuku to go there with him as a part of hanging out together -> surprise encounter with harusaki!

also both of them were scoring quite high on the form when i decided to lock in the lineup (tsukasa was absolutely sweeping the 2* category, and while shizuku wasnt winning anything, she was a pretty popular choice) and theyre very easy to work into a story together and also into a story that is focused on harusaki (╯▽╰ ) the benefits of siblings and unitmates

(tsukasa 2* poll sweep at the time of me solidifying my lineup)

the event and gacha names actually both came to me one night while i was about to fall asleep. struck by inspiration so strong i had to grab my phone and write them down in my notes app. and they actually worked very well! also heres the transparents of the logos if you want them i guess

the card/skill/costume names also mostly came to me in similar ways, in the last couple nights before i finished everything. i think only saki, luka, and shizukus skills didnt come to me that way.

while the rui fish in tsukasa card might be obvious, theres actually more animals referencing other characters too! theres a group of three fish in sakis card that are the colors of the rest of leoni, the sneakiest of the bunch, and also not quite as sneaky but maybe not as obvious as the rui fish is the airi and minori sea slugs :)

i did think about giving tsukasa fish to be emu and nene too, but that many differently colored fish in a 2* seemed like too much, so i didnt do it... at least of the units involved, 2/3 of them are fully represented in some way!

and now most importantly probably, is that this is in fact my second pass at an aquarium event! the original one i started back in 2022 and......... i think you guys can figure out why i couldnt just reuse it when i decided to go for making an aquarium event again this time.

yep, youre seeing that right. 4/5 of the characters i chose are the same as what ended up being 1dt, all i got wrong was the vs. thats pretty crazy, honestly. im still not fully convinced colopale isnt just stealing my ideas after val3 happened too /j

it was also saki focus actually! i had written out a rough idea for the story back then too, and while theres some similarities to the current one, it obviously went through a lot of changes when revising the lineup and also with everything that has happened in the story over the past two years. it was definitely a bit more explicitly shippy than my new attempt, although i still tried to keep the shipping stuff toned back somewhat

i only ever made one card for that set though, just lukas 2*... but thats the original reason i made the old 2* backgrounds! its always those fake events throwing me into the graphic design trenches (fist shake) i had been trying to do a more canon-accurate style to......... mixed success. its not terrible, but i definitely could not have done the full set like this. theres a reason i did promised aquarium in my own style!

the original theme for the set was kind of like..... performers at an aquarium? along with living water sculptures of animals. it was a fun idea, but i think i was much better suited to doing the underwater scenes of promised aquarium and also we have plenty of performance themed trained sets already ^^

considering i also technically kept her from the original set (plus she was also winning the vs poll), i gave her a higher rarity card this time around for fun. and also because i knew none of shizuku tsukasa or luka would have super significant roles in the story, and i thought it would be fun to design a lim hairstyle for her!

one final random fun fact: the thing that kicked me into gear making promised aquarium was the fact that haruka wasnt on beautiful sound. i was just a little mad that they had an underwater set WITH A PENGUIN COSTUME and there was no haruka. sometimes petty beef brings out my craziest motivations and then i proceeded to spend the better part of a month planning and making it happen.

[zhaoly]

k so I didn't know this before but halsin apparently originally wasn't even intended to be a companion plus he's intended to be part of a poly romance... which is why his mono romance was barely developed??

man how were we supposed to know that :\ but suddenly it all makes so much fucking sense... why his character arc and romance fell so flat and why you can't romance him for so DAMN long. I suppose you're supposed to romance another companion and then bring halsin in to be part of a poly relationship instead and it's not intended that you get to act 3 with no romances--they assume you've romanced another companion already

i'm really damn disappointed that his mono romance is pretty much nonexistent and that his character development is so all over the place. I don't think I'll ever be doing a poly romance because I'm just not into that at all so unless they fix halsin's mono romance guess I gotta live with it

the only other companion who really interested me for a romance was karlach but her story is almost equally nonexistent and apparently she's got bad endings only?! like just kill me man. i want to try karlach's romance but i feel like her story is just... nonexistent, i mean all you do is find infernal iron and go to dammon. there's not even a specific quest arc or challenge for her, you just sort of naturally find the iron during regular exploration.

guess i'll be trying the other romances more out of curiosity rather than desire. like they all have aspects i like but then there's just like one (or two) things that turn me off.

i liked gale initially bc i was like holy shit an alistair/anders lovechild but then he started all that weird mystra stuff and i was like aight im outie. and i was also like wait we're supposed to be able to romance this guy?! isn't he very clearly not over this thing with mystra? i mean dude's gonna blow himself up for repentance or sth

wyll is like... fine i guess but too nice LMAO and i wont lie the dance scene was just like........... not my thing at all. just really not. and i honestly really don't like his devil appearance, i feel bad for saying it bc it's not his fault lol 😭 i liked him way more as a human but then quickly realized he doesnt stay that way for long. i think his story is definitely intriguing with the whole mizora thing and him being the son of the duke but man.

astarion is insufferable lord i can't stand the way he talks. i kicked him right after the nighttime blood sucking scene bc his voice/personality were so grating and i'm just not into the vampire shit at all. he also just like... looks like a creep and the way he talks doesn't help... tbh i think the only way i'll be able to tolerate him is to mod his face he just comes off as a creepy insufferable old guy i'm sorry

i like shadowheart as a companion but not really into her for a romance. her whole utter devotion to shar was also a huge turnoff lmao and for this first run I just decided that my tav wasn't into that. i did make the choice that basically had her turn against shar but i'm like yeah she can be besties with my tav i like that more. I actually really like sh's arc as a close/best friend

couldn't stand lae'zel initially either, left her in the cage after she wouldnt say please since tav is petty like that. found her later and reluctantly went the creche with her and then ended up killing her oops but hey she threatened to kill me first 🤷‍♀️ i'll def take her on future runs but i don't think i'll ever romance her

so like who does that even leave me with?? halsin basically fit a lot of parameters i like in a companion until i played through more of the game and realized that they really didnt deliver with him. i'm sure if i play through these companion quests/romances further in the future i'll warm up more to these characters but my initial impressions were just... not favorable and hey it's an rpg and my tav has opinions! who knows maybe i'll end up loving one of these character romances but rn i'm still lamenting over halsin's utterly lackluster one

[toastyliltoasts]

Accompanied (Blaza x Reader)

Today wasnt the worst day , per se , but it wasnt the best either .. You woke up 20 minutes late , So you skipped breakfast .. You got ready for work while shoving a peice of toast into your mouth , munching also being a quite difficult task when you're trying to change into casual work clothing ..

You raced down the stairs of your apartment building when you bump into someone .. Well , You didnt have time to pick up all your stuff let alone take a proper look at the figure .. You scrambled to pick up your , scattered , stuff from the ground , The stranger helped you with steady motions .. "Thank you so much .. Im really sorry by the way" You said  with a smile as you finally looked at the person .. You didnt notice much as he wore a weirdly cute face mask that covered half his face .. "Its fine honestly" He said as he smiled (Which is obviously covered by the mask) .. You awkwardly let out a bye and ran off ..

You almost miss your bus as you manage to make it without a second to spare .. You sat down on a window seat as you watched the raindrops race , quite childishly might I add .. Your peripheral vision caught people moving around and some even sitting next to you .. But you didnt even think to pay them attention for some reason .. You gaze outside the window , the same sceneries you've seen for the past few years or so .. So undoubtedly , The boring view- well, bored you as your eyes start feeling droopy ..

So that led to you missing your stop and getting off the bus , muttering a small 'thank you' to the driver , at a couple stops ahead from your original stop .. You tried to hail a cab and drove all the way there , completely anxious ..

You reached work 35 minutes late .. But to your absolute luck , You boss was also late and you got off scot-free .. Well , You still had to do the work that you delayed by 35 minutes so not exactly scott free .. So you made a mental note to never fall asleep on the bus ever again .. It might've even scarred you for life ..

You reach home absolutely wasted and dropped on your couch like some heavy , lifeless limbs .. You re-adjust yourself to find a better , comfortable way to sit but that's next to impossible due to the stuffiness of your couch .. You debate if whether or not you should go to your spot *A/N : You crackheads , Get. Your. Head. Out. De. Gutter lmao* ..

Aah , Your favorite spot .. Living in an incredibly small apartment apparently has it own perks .. The rooftop of the apartment building was something you accidentally stumbled upon all those years ago .. It had a spectacular view of the whole city especially  at night with the artificial lights providing a calm aesthetic .. It was also isolated , Making it the perfect place for some time alone when having a bad day .. For example ; Today ..

You decide to just wing it and open your balcony door which leads to the spiraling staircase *A/N : Just imagine the stairs from Spider Man lol* .. You climb it like muscle memory .. To be honest *A/N : Pun absolutely intended* , It might as well be since moving into a new place is-  difficult to say the least .. So to say that you spend a lot of time there would be an understatement ..

You absent-mindedly reach the highest floor as you step on the cement block placed to provide some stability without difficulty .. You walk over to the edge of the building which was surrounded by waist-high walls ..

You gape as you see a figure sitting at your normal spot .. You didnt want to sound selfish because the building wasn't and wont ever be yours, but you cant help but feel a bit of anger with confusion because well , You've certainly been there more than them .. Because-

The person turns towards you , Obviously alerted by your footsteps and startled .. You see a strangely familiar guy with fluffy , dirty blonde hair and piercing eyes .. You swear you've seen him before .. You think back to last week to possibly remember if you've seen him before but you come up empty handed ..

"Uh hi" A deep voice drags you out of your thoughts as you look at him sending you a nervous smile .. Then it hits you like a train that he was the person you met earlier today at  the stairs .. "You're not here to mug me or possibly kill me are you ?" He jokes as you laugh/giggle/(whatever youre comfortable with cuz u rock <3) .. "Nah im not intrested in that" You say playing along while still having a huge smile on your face .. "Im broke as hell so you probab- OH have I taken your spot ? Im so sorry if I have" He says , already getting up , as sudden realisation hit him .. "Its fine honestly" You say mirroring his words he said prior to you .. He grins .. "Im Blaza" He introduces himself as he sheepishly rubs the nape of his neck .. "(Y/N)" You reply , smiling yourself .. "You can stay here if you want" You assure him ..

"Ill take you up on that offer"

°•°•°•°•°•°

You two sit down on the edge of the building , parallel to the streets and the other side of the building .. You talk for hours about , everything to be honest .. You learn that he's new to the neighborhood so you do the honor of filling him on what information you need to have about living here .. He seems grateful as you two talk like old friends who havent seen eachother in a long time .. You flail your arms around when explaining some things and use other  dramatic gestures to back up your point .. He finds you amusing and you , vice versa .. After the talk dies down , You start to gaze at the stars and try to make shapes out of certain constellations .. And emphasis on 'try' ..

"That looks like an among us character" "Ha ha very funny .. Its 2023 , Get some new jokes" "Oh cmonnn .. You have to admit it was funny" "Do I look impressed to you ? You can do bette- OoOO That ones a monkey" "It kinda does look like one , doesnt it ?" "That ones a crown .. You see that ?"

As it hit almost midnight you two exchange numbers while your heart pounded .. Get your crap together .. You're barely friends .. And you two bid eachother goodbye as you heart flutters ..

°•°•°•°•°•°

Hehehehheheh ..

Wattpad literally deleted my draft mid-writing so I wrote this AGAIN .. See my dedication folks ?

[brunt-f-c-a]

Here's a vent that's hard to start because it could have so many starts to it but finding the one that gets to the point is hard. It's not uncommon for me to have strong but seemingly useless and out of place memories.

My short term memory is bad but my long term is phenominal. But most of them make sense. A silly quote, a fun antedote, a core memory. But this one doesnt make sense and unfortunately it did so much more lifelong damage than the original comment that started it intended.

I dont even remember what the conversation was. I just remember my brother saying "are we just going to bury you in your underwear and covered in cheeto dust?" And he was making a joke on how he percieved me as a lazy indoor basement nerd. A mild insecurity in my teen and eqrly adult life that i've mostly gotten over. And i've heard enough fat jokes to brush them off so that shouldnt have bothered me. But every time i dig into a bag of chips, or i get crumbs on me, or sometimes when i'm just chilling in my undies i can hear that comment.

It is unusual for thqt to bother me for as long as it has but thinking about it and realizing why it's bothered me has left me with some open wounds to deal with. It wasnt because it was a fat joke. It was because the joke centered around a disrespectful burial. Death is really personal to me. I know how i want to die. If i live to old age and find myself experiencing a poor quality of life or terminal illness i want to be euthanized in dignity and then composted.

Death of a loved one tells you everything you need to know about how thqt loved one was percieved. Prior to this incident my mother had died. That lead to me living with my brother. And at her funeral the only person who cried for her was an 8 year old child too young to realize how fucking evil she was. None of her siblings showed up. A former friend appeared, and left early, the funeral was two years late because the funds to afford it were unimportant, she was buried in a child's grave that i had to dig myself and the only one who put any effort into it was me because i pitied her. I pitied how her behavior drove everyone away from her so severely that nobody even cared about her funeral.

The only people who spoke fondly were people who were kept at a distance. People who didnt know what she was like. The singer was a lady who just went to the church and didnt know her. I did it was my sixth grade algebra teacher who i hated. My sister in law sat next to the urn and played a song on her smart phone that my brother vaguely remembered she liked but that i had never heard her mention and was not exactly appropriate for a funeral. It all felt impersonal. People who were just coming together for an obligation to show compassion and support for a family. But nothing felt like true care. That tells you everything you need to know about her.

So the reason it stuck with me so hard is the idea of being remembered as that joke. A joke. Being remembered as an unclean, unkempt joke. Being remembered as something i always feared being percieved as and felt like very day. And it definitely wasnt supposed to be that deep of an insult. But it echoed for a very long time.

I ran away last september. I havent spoken to my brother since then. I havent spoken to either of my sisters. I call my dad and my aunt. But not a day goes by i dont think about family members and in my little maladaptive daydreaming mind i'm surrounded by people who consider me important and i get to interact with people i care about every day and it's not all complicated.

One time a friend i no longer speak to had taken the time to pull me away from a bad storm hitting the city we lived in. Without that i would have been forced to endure it in my dorm. And when i complained that none of my family gave a damn he got defensive. Insulted even. Because that insinuated i wasnt family. People have two common perceptions of family "your family is the closest thing you have" and "sometimes family isnt blood"9 it didnt occur to him that for me it was neither. My dad was gone, my older siblings ran away, my sister acted lie she hated me and my mom beat tf out of me on the regular. Family in my mind doesnt even register as something that is important at all. Unless i'm just fantasizing. I have such a poor grip on what family looks like that it didnt occur to me he was family by most people's standard. He left too, so i guess in some ironic way he was just like family.

Now i have people who i know care. And a person who is willing to grow with me. But i never really look at these people and think family.

[not-me-simping-for-blasty]

Wrong Number, Asshole - A Bakugou Katsuki Soulmate AU

All Parts 

Part 22:

You closed your phone, rolling your eyes at his words. 

You were a floor down from Bakugou’s hospital room, currently stood in front of the vending machine. After your collective screaming match, you’d quickly realized just how hungry you were. Apparently, arguing and yelling so much works up one hell of an appetite- who knew? So now here you were, standing in front of the machine, holding a wad of horribly crinkled money Bakugou had insistently and unwaveringly shoved at you on your way out.

Originally, you had fully intended to pay for your own snacks. You’d even sneakily tried to grab your wallet as you left, but apparently that didn’t work. He saw you, because of course he did. So, waffling over it for just barely another second, you put your own money away. You knew Bakugou wasn’t bluffing- or probably wasn’t. It wouldn’t surprise you at all if he truly did know how expensive the vending machine was, down to the very last cent of each item. He was weird like that.

You shrugged, if he wanted you to use his money so badly than you weren’t gonna pick at fight over it. You selected a bag of chips for yourself, and the gross-looking health bar Bakugou had requested- because apparently, even while already uncomfortable and injured, Bakugou didn’t have an easy time giving himself a break. 

When you walked back, entering the hospital room once more, Bakugou wasn’t alone. You couldn’t tell what surprised you more- the three police officers crowding his bed, or the man standing off to the side. A man with hair so obviously fake and stop-sign red that it nearly nauseated you.

You weren’t sure how to proceed, whether or not you were even supposed to be hearing this conversation, but you didn’t have to flounder for long. The red-haired man saw you almost immediately and began making his way over. 

“Hey! How’s it going? I’m so sorry, but Dynamite’s actually not taking visitors right now!” He says, says brightly. Then he’s spinning you around and pushing at your shoulders lightly to get you moving out the door. “My name’s Kirishima though, and I can totally, totally, help you back downstairs to wait with the other civilians!”

“No, but I-” You start, your feet barely able to move as fast as Kirishima is dragging you along. “I have to-”

“Yeah, I get it! And that’s so totally nice of you to want to thank him, super, super nice,” Kirishima interrupts you, leading you down the hallway. “But he’s real busy talking to the police right now so-”

“Oh, for fuck’s sake! I’m his soulmate!” You pull your wrist out of his light grip, halting. “My name’s Y/n L/n.”

“Wait-” Kirishima stops in his tracks, suddenly spinning around to face you. “How do you know that name?”

“Oh my god-” You huff in frustration, shaking Kirishima’s hands off you. “You sound just like Bakugou. It’s- that’s my name- like, my actual name, okay! How else would I know it if it wasn’t me?” 

A beat of silence as you watch his eyes widen.

“So you’re really her?” He says in disbelief.

“Yes! Obviously,” You pinch the bridge of your nose, breathing through your irritation. “Now would you knock it off and let me go back to his room? I get it- you’re like, security, or whatever, but I’m not a civilian and I-”

“He’s gonna kill me.” Kirishima pales in front of you, suddenly grabbing your wrist again and pulling you fast in the direction of Bakugou’s room. “Oh god, he’s gonna kill me.” 

“W-what? Why?” You stumble, nearly falling into his back. “Hey! Slow down!” 

“Because I totally manhandled you out the door- god, that was so not manly of me!” He breathes out quickly, but he listens and drops your wrist, slowing down to a pace you could keep up with. “I’m sorry, it’s just- I thought you were a civilian, you know? They’ve been crawling all over the waiting room since I got here, sneakin’ up and trying to thank him, and I thought you were one of ‘em.”

“Thank him? For what?”

“He didn’t tell you?”

“Um- no?”

It’s hits you then that you didn’t really know why Bakugou was in the hospital in the first place. Only that he was ‘held up’ and then hurt and had been absent for the last two weeks. You wanted to smack yourself in the face. You’d spent the entire afternoon yelling and arguing with him and absolutely not asking the important questions. Well- you did ask some questions, but not enough. Apparently.

“Wow, figures. You know, that’s just like our guy Bakugou! Always talkin’ so much but still never bragging about all the actual cool shit he pulls off.” Kirishima rubs the back of his neck awkwardly for a moment. “C’mon, lets hurry back. I really don’t think he’d be too happy if I was the one who told ya everything.” 

You have a million and one questions sitting on your tongue but quickly decide you’d much rather ask Bakugou than the man standing in front of you. You pick up your pace, finally once again in front of Room 427. When you enter, the police are leaving, all three of them walking past you on their way out. 

“Hey! Shitty Hair!” Bakugou seems to ignore you, instead choosing to yell, loudly, at Kirishima. “Who the fuck gave you permission to go around draggin’ her like that? I fuckin’ saw you, you imbecile!”

“Hey!” The red-head whines, hands out and placating. “How was I supposed to know? You didn’t say anything, man! I didn’t know, okay?”

“It doesn’t fuckin’ matter, you dumbass, I’m not gonna let you just fuckin-” Bakugou starts, but then he whips his head around toward you, eyes catching yours. “Oi- Idiot. What the hell are you standin’ around in the doorway like that for, hah? Look stupid as shit.” 

“Bakugou!” Kirishima seems appalled, grabbing at his chest dramatically. “You can’t talk to her like that! She’s-”

“Perfectly fucking capable of defending herself, thank you very much.” You snark, walking towards Bakugou and tossing the health bar at him lightly. He doesn’t expect it and you watch as it hits him squarely in the chest. You smile. “Real nice catch, angry man.” 

“Woulda fuckin’ caught it if I was in top shape.” He grumbles, but then he’s smirking and opening the snack just the same. “Anyways- yeah, that’s Shitty Hair. Sorry he fuckin’ sucks.” 

You clasp a hand over your as a laugh escapes. Kirishima doesn’t seem to think it’s nearly as funny as you do, and you watch as his face seizes.

“Hey, man! What the hell!” 

“You deserve it, bitch! Shouldn’t a fuckin’ grabbed her like that and dragged her wherever the fuck.” Bakugou shrugs. “If you don’t wanna be told you suck, then don’t fuckin’ suck! It’s easy as shit- even for a clown like you.”

Kirishima just groans, hands beginning to wave emphatically. “Do you even know how many people I stopped from walking in here? I did it for you, man!” 

“Yeah. Whatever.” Bakugou barks, taking a bite of the health bar. He chews for all of a second, before talking through a mouthful of food. “You should fuckin’ leave.” 

“What? Why do I-” Kirishima pauses a second, blinks, looks at you, and then a smirk begins to tug at his lips. “Oh, I get it! Totally manly, Bakugou! It’s because of h-”

“No!” Bakugou defends, his cheeks reddening slightly. “It’s- fuckin’ police, shitty hair! Told ‘em to wait outside. They wanna talk to your dumbass- They have more idiotic fuckin’ questions about after I passed out.” 

“Oh. Yeah. Okay.” Kirishima nods, moving towards the door. “You want me to come back later?”

“No.” Bakugou growls.

That, you notice, strangely doesn’t seem to make Kirishima upset? He instead smiles brightly at Bakugou, giving him a thumbs up, and leaves, pulling the door shut behind him.

It’s suddenly quiet in the room, but you don’t let it last long. You’ve got answers to pry out of your soulmate.

“So- heard you passed out, angry man.” You state simply, dropping once again in the chair next to his bedside. “When’d that happen?”

“Few days ago. Been here since then.”

You roll your eyes at his short answer. Leave it up to Bakugou to tell you only what you literally asked for and absolutely nothing else.

“Okay. But how? Where?” You ask. “What about before then?”

Bakugou huffs at all your questions, but then he’d nodding and answering all the same.

“Had to fuckin’ save this man from hittin’ the ground real hard so I took all the impact. Hit my head or something, when I hit the ground, and I broke a bunch of shitty bones. Guess I was out a few days, and then I woke up here. Then I fuckin’ called you or whatever.”

“You- you took a fall? That knocked you out? For days?” You gasped. “How goddamn far was the fall? Jesus!” 

“Four stories.” Bakugou says, and the uneffected, factual way he says it makes your blood go cold. “My fault. Shoulda been faster but I was already fuckin’ weak from bein’ captured.” 

  “Captured?”

“Yeah. Went undercover and tried to infiltrate this villian lair, and the fuckin’ stupid group of villians lumped me in with a bunch of other hostages.” He grunted. “I tried to blow ‘em all the fuck up, once I realized, but they had this absolute bitch, with a stupid fuckin’ siren quirk! Sang a bunch of shitty, annoying, fuckin’ songs that paralyzed me. Couldn’t do a damn thing! For over a week!”

“O-okay.” You nodded shakily. “Then what happened? How’d you get out?”

“Fuckin’ didnt. Just sat there, stuck on my ass, kept barely alive by that stupid bitch and her henchman!” Bakugou barked, hands clenching into fists. “Then shitty hair and a few other fuckers came and knocked her out- they stayed to fight the rest of the other villians or whatever but I was still too fuckin’ weak to fight so I rounded up the other hostages.”

“So you fell saving one of them?”

“Yeah. Stupid kid stayed to watch the fight, like a complete fuckin’ idiot, and got blasted by a villian out the window.” Bakugou flushes, averting his eyes. “I jumped out after him. To save him or whatever.”

You nod, very minutely smiling as you looked at his flushing face.

You were proud of him.

He might’ve been bad- had done bad in the past, but it seemed like that wasn’t all Bakugou was. He had good in him. A lot of good. He nearly finished himself off saving an innocent after all- that had to a least make him some sort of a hero.

“Well- okay....That all- that all sounds fucking horrifying, but I get it. It’s your job, right?” You sigh. “I’m just glad you made it out alive. I was really scared, you know?”

“Hah? Scared? Now why the fuck would ya go and do something stupid like that?”

“Because you weren’t answering me!”

“I told you I’d be gone!” Bakugou defends, before pulling out his phone. “Look! Fuckin’ sent ya the texts and everything!”

“You said a few days! Not 2 fucking we-“ You paused. “Wait. Why did you say a few days in the first place?”

“Knew it was gonna be fuckin’ dangerous when I left, so, you know,” He averted his eyes, voice coming out low and guilty. “Was supposed to be incase I got hurt. And was fuckin’ out or something. So you wouldn’t wor-“

“Worry?” You groaned, running a frustrated hand through your hair. “It didn’t- I was worried! I thought something happened! Or worse I thought that-“

“Worse? Fuck you mean, shitty woman? What the fuck stupid conclusion did you come to that’s worse than dyin’?”

“Bakugou,” You huffed, your shoulders sagging. “I thought maybe, that maybe you wouldn’t tell me anything because you were a bad guy- a bad villian.”

Bakugou’s face crumples. His angry eyebrows fall and his puffed out cheeks deflate, and his mouth closes tip-lipped and tense over sharp teeth. He looks devastated. “It- I didn’t-“ He struggles and you’ve never heard his voice sound so small before. “Y-you don’t think that, right? Now?”

“No!” You try to recover, hands out and assuring. “It’s- after the video, maybe? I did, b-but not now! Not now.”

He doesn’t say anything- won’t meet your eyes.

“Look, Bakugou,” You clear your throat. “I only know you as you are now, not who you were before. And I think- I think that maybe, now you’re almost a different person than before. So that’s why it was a shock. To see you like that. To see you so hateful.”

You duck your head, just barely catching his eyes before he averts them again.

“But that’s not you anymore? Right? You’re not that guy. So it’s okay. We’re okay.” You sigh. “Will you look at me? Please?”

He doesn’t, just continues fiddling with the thin blankets trapped between his shaking fingers.

“Why wouldn’t you just tell me?” You ask, tone pleading. “I feel like, maybe, if I didn’t have to find out like tha-“

“Woulda been the same. ‘S always the same.” He interrupts, voice barely there. “That’s why I didn’t tell you. I didn’t- because it would’ve- there would’ve- you fuckin’ wouldn’t-“

He takes a deep breath, closing his eyes and sitting still for a few moments.

“You wouldn’ta kept fuckin’ talking to me.” He admits. He looks so small in that moment that it nearly breaks you. “Didn’t wanna- I didn’t wanna wait all my life, have this fuckin’ tattoo for so long and still have nothing because I was stupid.”

You pause, the breath knocked out of your chest.

“What- I- how long have you had your tattoo?”

Bakugou lifts his head, finally looking at you. He looks bewildered. Scared, even.

“My whole fuckin’ life- didn’t you?”

“No!” You cried desperately. “I told you, remember? Over text, the first time I talked to you! The day my tattoo appeared!”

“You were serious about that shit?” His voice is utter disbelief, eyebrows creasing together. “I thought- I thought-“

“What?”

“It’s- it’s not the first time somebody has gotten my number and told me they’re my fuckin’ soulmate. So I didn’t think it was real- thought you were jokin’ or somethi-“

“Excuse me?”

“It’s not- don’t,” He stutters, blushing just a bit. “Being a pro-hero, people always say weird shit to me for fame. So I’ve gotten that before- a fuckin’ random text saying they’re my soulmate.”

“What?” You ask, voice offended. “Who- why- I don’t get it-“

“Every hero gets ‘em- even one’s that don’t even have a fuckin’ soulmate.” Bakugou says. “I guess maybe they just text everybody or some shit- I don’t know? Didn’t matter to me I always jus’ blocked ‘em.”

You could hardly believe your ears, feeling winded as you brought a hand to your chest.

Bakugou had a tattoo- your name for his entire life.

He’d know about you his entire life.

Had been waiting on you for his entire life.

“Why- why’d you believe me?” You ask quietly. “If you didn’t believe the others, why me?”

“Ya told me your name.” He pulls aside his hospital gown, exposing the writing on his ribcage. “It’s- if ya didn’t, I wouldn’ta believed you.”

On his side, just under the last rib, is your name. It’s a simple tattoo- small, but it’s there, and in your handwriting.

“That’s my name.” You say dumbly.

“Obviously, sunshine.” He sort of laughs, something a little sad but a little happy too. “Only been waitin’ my entire life for your dumb ass.”

“Why didn’t you look for me?” You can’t help but ask, pressing your against against your suddenly stinging eyes. “If you knew- why?”

Bakugou goes quiet again, dropping his hospital gown back down. His tattoo is covered, but that doesn’t matter to you, you couldn’t forget the look of it if you tried.

It’s a long few moments before Bakugou speaks again.

“It wouldn’t- I wasn’t ready-“ His voice is low, quiet, the most vulnerable you’ve ever heard it be. “Before now- I wouldn’t have been good. For you.”

He sighs, shifting uncomfortably in the hospital bed.

“Think- I think maybe that’s why yours didn’t come in ‘till now. Wouldn’t of fuckin’ worked before.”

When you pull your palms away from your eyes, it’s like you’re seeing him again for the very first time.

It’s strange- the way your heart seems to be breaking entirely and rebuilding itself completely all at the same time. It’s a wave crashing against your ribs- pushing and pulling and tumbling and pushing and pulling and turning and twisting and- calming when you look at his face. When you look at the way his hair sits and the way his jaw slopes and the way his eyes meet yours. It’s death and completetion and rebirth and red, red wildfire.

It’s your old life scorching and curling and burning up. And it’s your new, better, warmer life rising from the ashes.

“God, I’m so fucking glad I said my name.” You gasp, tears freely falling from your eyes.

Bakugou smiles, so soft and warm and fond. “I know idiot.”

You just laugh at the name, choking on tears and snot and emotion, but you’re smiling. You’re smiling and smiling and it feels like you’re never gonna stop smiling. Will never have to again.

Because he’s him and you’re you and finally- finally, you’re together.

It takes a long while for you to calm down, for your tears to stop falling. But when you finally do, when you finally feel okay, Bakugou’s already looking at you.

So how long are ya plannin’ to fuckin’ stay, idiot?”

“Huh?” You shook your head, tears still drying on your cheeks. “I literally- but- but no- I- D-do you want me to leave?”

“No!” Bakugou groans in frustration. “That’s not- can’t ya just listen to the words I say without fuckin’ readin’ into them all the time?”

“Yes?” You say unsurely, but then your shoulders drop and you sigh. “Actually no. Probably not, sorry I-”

“I told you not to fuckin’ apologize, remember?”

“Yeah,” You say sadly. “But it’s not exactly that easy.”

The room is quiet again, and Bakugou is smoothing out his hospital gown, fidgeting with the tie on the side. He looks nervous, his cheeks red, and his voice comes out quiet and strained when he speaks.

“If- if I gotta work on me not screamin’ and bein’ angry all the time then you gotta stop apologizin’ and worryin’ so goddamn much.” He takes a deep breath, finally turning to look at you but only to just barely make eye contact. “It-we can fuckin’ do it together or whatever. Idiot.” 

You blink, almost shaking your head in disbelief. Bakugou was sitting in front of you, blushing and grimacing and had just said something borderline sweet? Out loud? To you? You huff half a laugh when you look at him once more, at his intense eyebrows and his red cheeks and his pinched expression. He looked constipated. Like saying the words physically pained him.

You soulmate was an utter drama queen, a certifiable child- and you just found it adorable.

“Okay,” You wiped your final tears away, leaned forward on your elbows. Your chest hits the side of his hospital bed, and, extending your hand, you meet his eyes. “Pinky swear on it, then?”

“What? No! You makin’ fun of me? That’s- that’s-” Bakugou growls, but then he sees the hopeful look in your eyes. You watch as his irritated expression melts away and he grumbles as he extends his own hand. “Fine. Whatever.”

When you loop your pinky around his, pulling his arm until it lies flush against yours, you think it feels right. To be that close to him. To be touching him at all, really. You wonder if it’ll always feel like that- if the completeness you feel will ever fade.

 You hope it doesn’t. 

You think Bakugou must feel it too, his eyes focused on the way your skin meets. Something guarded in his gaze softens, almost minutely, but you don’t miss it. 

“Happy?” He suddenly says. He waves your connected hands in the air, but makes no move to shake free from your grip. “Feel all fuckin’ better now, idiot?”

“Much.” You smile something small and tender. “Thanks, Katsuki.”

Pop.

You yank your hand back in surprise, jumping slightly at the tiny zap you’d just felt on your pinky. It didn’t hurt, didn’t feel like much really- If you had to compare it, it was very similar to tiny, electro-static shocks you’d felt before when touching carpet.

“Did- did you?”

“No!” He yells, hand still left in the air. “I didn’t so fuckin’ shut up about it- it was nothing! You didn’t feel anything! Nothing happened! It didn’t happen! I-”

Mid way through his rant, Bakugou grabs at you hand, awkwardly jabbing his fingers into your palm before he finally just laces then through yours. He continues like he didn’t, though, not taking a single breath between his words.

“-And even if I did- which I didn’t- it’s your fuckin fault! So just- so just shut up about it already!” He huffs, absolutely red in the face as he averts his eyes. He grumbles. “Idiot.”

You just smile, giving his hand a squeeze. 

Bakugou won’t look at you, his eyes trained on quite literally anything else, but you think you seem him smile too. Something small, and unsure, and barely there- just the tiniest hint of his lip curling up. 

He squeezes back. 

--//--

hope u all enjoy,, luv u!!

[ceilingfan5]

for the au thing i don’t know if it counts but i want more facts about the teacher au

you’re INDULGING ME I KNOW THIS but im gonna LET YOU bc i CARE SO MUCH ABOUT THIS AU

LET’S GO

1. taako never intended to be a teacher, he just sort of fell into it bc of a job he had in college, and then he started subbing and he was like. oh shit. oh. oh man. i could do this. and SWITCHED HIS DEGREE AT LIKE THE LAST MINUTE AND HAD TO DO A LOT MORE SCHOOL but he was SO MUCH FUCKING HAPPIER

2. part of the reason he got into it tho is that he was considered a “challenging kid” and he has So Many complaints about his teachers throughout the years. of which there were many bc he and lup got shifted around so fucking much, which didnt help with him being an absolute little shit who just needed someone to notice he needed support

3. he had a whole ass identity crisis when he student taught, and he was so scared, like. am i gonna fuck these kids up?? am i going to ruin their tiny little futures??? he actually started in middle school and went younger when he Had To Get Out of a job and he was like fuck it it’s only one year, i can find another school when this year is over if i have to BUT HE FUCKING LOVED IT!!!!! THESE TINY PEOPLE ADORE HIM!!! AAAH

4. he loves teaching them big words he loves teaching them weird shit to say to their parents he loves wearing weird shit to school he loves getting drawings he loves watching the lightbulbs come on he loves watching them learn to read he loves completely abandoning the lesson plan and doing a whole day on a weird question he loves saying batshit nonsense and backing it up he loves getting down with them and playing aaahh

5. also in this au kravitz works at a casino!!! ive done kravitz as a high school teacher in the past but i thought this would be fun also. he has a lot of fun with it and it’s both nice and hard that he works later in the day. like in the minific he could bring taako lunch!!! but then it’s hard that sometimes taako has to go to bed without him. it’s a tradeoff. he works in guest satisfaction and gets lots of gifts from his high rollers and fucking loves to treat taako and take him out to nice restaurants and stuff!!! idk how they met in this one but it was something stupid and theyve been head over heels ever since. everyone was like. oh my god thats not going to work. but it DID so THERE!!!! krav loves to listen to taako gush or complain about his kids and his day and hes so supportive and full of love fuck i love them so much guys

PLOT TWIST! YOU THOUGHT I WAS DONE BUT IM FUCKING NOT!!!!!!! @herbgerblin mentioned taako with tiny WIZARD STUDENTS can you IMAGINE!!!! FUCK!!!! SAME AU BUT MAGICER 1. they all have tiny wizard hats and lil safety star wands and taako complains every year that that shit is on the supply list but then they show up on day one all excited and vibrating and he has to try really hard not to cry about it

2. he still teaches fucking math and reading and science and art and shit FUCK a certain particular series. education rules. also i care so fuckin much about this listen i have an original story about a teacher in a super power universe and shes a villain but you probably didnt want to hear about that youre here for taz but if you want to press that button you’re fuckin in for it pal (ailem i know you personally love that particular thing and i love you) but THIS IS ABOUT TAZ

3. GOD that would be so stressful ALSO having to teach magic?? jesus when is there time for intervention?? FUCK! but LISTEN!!!!  teaching 25 little tiny kids cantrips and shit!!! oh my god!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! draw a picture of your handsome teacher with mage hand everybody!!! no! handsomer!!!!!!!! jamie you’re doing perfectly sweetie

4. this could have gone in the top half and would have made more sense but first draft only draft amirite BUT taako’s so fucking good with the “challenging students” bc he GETS them and especially in this au tweest he’s so good at calming a kid whos like. getting overwhelmed and having like a magic storm and like other teachers might be like god i cant believe i had to deal with another tantrum today and taakos meanwhile like sat on the floor with the kid and calmed them down and reminded them he’s there and made them laugh and cool down

sidenote listen maybe they arent all wizards. or dnd wizards. sit down. let’s talk about the class system. i have a lot of thoughts actually. what do you MEAN you want me to move on

5. IMAGINE MAGIC PROJECT BASED LEARNING!!!! FUCK!!! IMAGINE LETTING THE KIDS LOOSE ON THE PLAYGROUND TO PLAY MAGIC TAG BUT HE STARTS AS IT!!!!!!!!! IMAGINE A KID WHO STRUGGLES W READING FINDING THEIR FOOTING IN MAGIC AND TAAKO BEING SO FUCKING PROUD AND USING IT AS A WINDOW TO GET THEM TO LIKE STORIES!!!!!!! IMAGINE 

okay im calm.

[with-the-same-tattoos]

what brush do you use for your lineart? it looks so good ;;

AAHDSHD;;;; TYSM FOR ASKING IK THIS IS A SIMPLE QUESTION BUT I WILL USE ANY CHANCE I GET 2 RAMBLE ABT ART TECHNIQUE & WHATEVER BC ITS MY FAVE FUCKING THING IN THIS WHOLE WIDE WORLD

My brushes r actually quite simple !!!!!!! I built them to compliment my very freehand/sketch style. If someone is interested, feel free to ask, I can check how to make them downloadable/whatever, but really I have just a couple things that I focus on when it comes to them!!!

Square tip. I use one in CSP called quadrado, I think its in the original set, I'll have to check that out later? But yeah I feel a square tip allows for some fun angular spots to really come through !!! This is also super popular in painting I think, angles & sharp edges r super important there

Shape dynamics. The super basic stuff. I have two main brushes; my basic square, which is for draw flow stuff, and a rough square, which i mostly use to fill in bigger areas / do some extra shading with. My basic square has more flexibility (a bigger range, a lower minimun value) and the rougher one is less flexable and most of the time chunky.

Density. I find density options more appealing to me compared to opacity, but I cant tell why? exactly???? yk???? But yeah. Again, basic square has more flexibility, and rougher less. I find the flexibility & range in my basic brush SUPER important, since i like sketching within my linework and erasing it away/cleaning it up. (difficult to explain- if someone wants a video feel free to ask)

Basically:

oSoOther settings go a bit more into semantics. I also use a blender tool to sometimes soften areas, and often my eraser is set to erasing on all layers so I can kinda build my linework ON my sketch layer and use it in the back as some extra flow.

My current style of drawing is inspired by som rly specific artists that I can talk abt if someone wants 2 hear. I do intend to experiment w stronger lines, im just a wuss and like all... squishy stuff ; v ;

U DIDNT ASK, but again bc i just loooove rambling abt this shit, some additional things that have personally helped me w linework!!!

Those super basic linework practices !!! Just drawing straight lines endlessly, drawing a squicle and trying to replicate it now w a slower stroke

Forcing urself to sketch fast; croquis !!!! I recommend croquis cafe for anyone looking to do this kinda stuff online, its GREAT. Just focus on the time, not how good the sketch is. Croquis is FANTASTIC. it helps u develop muscle memory for unique strokes, develop understanding of what u need to pay attention to (are you paying attention to shadow, light, where the weight of the body is, the squished parts, the stretched out parts, the skin, the muscle, the hair, etc) (ive personally done sessions just focusing on darkest shadow, midtone shadow etc, or light, or the stretched out parts, or just like, a few lines to give the idea of the pose ((eg 5 sec croquis)) ((tho i havent seen those in any web stuff, i had a class where we had those and they were fantastic))) anyways DO CROQUIS AND ALLOW URSELF 2 SUCK AT IT DO IT UNTIL UR HAND HURTS AND UR HEAD HURTS (dont actually do that please) (drink water, take breaks, stretch ur hand)

Warmups !!! before i take on a serious linework, I ALWAYS DO WARMUPS. Some lighter line stuff, flowier line stuff. I often do croquis for this. If i dont do this i get more severe hand cramps, because.... yeah

Traditional sketches w different pens. Preferably ones that u cant erase. Kinda similiarly to croquis, this is super good to just develop more confidence w ur lines. U cant go back and erase them so... U just have to learn to get them right. Im bolding this bcs this is probably the one tip i heard that has helped me the most. All my traditional sketches w pens r ugly as hell but they seriously have helped me so much to get some more freedom and have more fun when drawing & not worry all the time, and its made the process way more enjoyable !!!!

Also please take breaks and stretch ur hand !!! THeres a lot of good guides for artists to stretch their hands :> Seriously. Take care of urself.

[heygutlcssa]

I know comparing the original movie to the new movie is like comparing apples and oranges, but I really wish that the a.ss.ault scene was a little more in line with the original.

Yes, it's fine that Graziella is there. There's pros and cons to that too, especially considering that she kind of instigates it and then backpedals when it becomes not a them or us situation, but a women's situation. It's the one plane per the movie that they can relate one ( though graziella is such a missed opportunity as a character, especially since during this time period a good chunk of Italian girls were doing pretty much anything to not be considered Italian. Legit there's an internment camp that mainly housed Italian Americans during the war and continued to house Italians and other immigrants during the Red Scare up until it's closure in 1954 only like a few miles away. Ellis island was not the best of places.) That's a whole other discussion though .

I think what's hard about this scene boils down to two major issues for me. The first being that they took music from the mambo sequence instead of replaying america. The original Broadway show( it's even on the vinyl record. I'll have to double check if it's on Spotify too. The soundtrack has been messed with over the years for what tracks stayed on and in what order) had a reprise of America playing during this particular scene.

This is important because most of the action within WSS takes place within the music and the dialogue. In the new movie that isn't really there. most of the action is just that. Action. Whole most of the original is there, the new movie cuts out some pretty significant lines throughout the feature.

Anita was the driving positive force about pro-Americanism and assimilating. This whole scene not only shows violence around woc but how that American Dream was never intended for a person like her and the show puts that in the hands of the whitest jets possible. Characters that were more ethnic nonwhite ( like diesel, a-rab, and tiger, sometime it was mouthpiece in tigers stead) were not present for the assault. They were doing what they what they were supposed to be doing: looking for Tony. The remaining Jets don't bother to send someone out to let everyone else know that they found him.

And remember that in both the 1961 movie and the 1957 show Anybodys is an active participant in what happened to Anita, only backing off at the very end just as Doc comes in to stop it coming to fruition. Right as they do the symbolic backflip of Anita Anybodys breaks away. This is also another discussion for a different post.

What bothers me most about the new movie is that they not only played the mambo music instead of America's reprise ( noted this was changed in the special editions of the 61 film as well) but they cut some very important dialogue that happens right after.

Noted, most reviews and scholarly articles cut this dialogue out of their arguments too. Because if that dialogue is brought to light then they can't blame 100% of the violent behavior of the jets on the jets.

Which, in Anita's case, you totally can and still include the dialogue. This dialogue is important because it showcases what drives people to do these unthinkable things and while environmental circumstances play a factor, it more so focuses on the adults around them. On their own abuse and reaction to being abused. On how grief is handled. On acting out and being alone. It also has a lot to say on the age old argument " it's your generation's fault that everything is bad as it is. In my day we didnt act like that. In my day the world was better because my generation was better ."

No one likes to admit fault in themselves especially when unspeakable acts are involved. But no one wants to admit that they handed the capability for the unspeakable down to the generation after them. They will just be disappointed when the next generation fails to do better. Does this justify what happened to Anita? Absolutely not and it never should have happened. She was a victim.

So when she utters I'm am a Puerto Rican, you should feel this deep sorrow for her and her dreams, her hopes, and her life. I certainly didn't feel that in any viewings of the movie. I just didn't hit the way it was meant to. You can tell kuschner tried very hard though . I deeply appreciate that.

The dialogue that's missing which was replaced by Valentina's speech also, while hitting home, didn't have an effect like it was supposed to.

I didn't and still don't have a strong attachment to the 61 film, so I can't say it's my rose tinted nostalgia glasses that make me think this way. I just think the original dialogue hits harder and has a lot more to say.

DOC: When do you kids stop? You make this world lousy!

ACTION: We didn't make it, Doc

Two lines. That's all that needs put back.

[bunny-lou]

Hello!! Im the anon with the ask from 2 weeks ago about how much i love your fics and how autophobia kicked my ass into hyperfocus so bad i ended up napping on the floor in the hallway and almost missing class after reading it

I just want you to know that i really appreciate you taking the time to answer said ask because i was massively anxious about having sent it as it was all pretty much nothing but an absolute ramble and since i was exhausted as shit (hadnt slept for more than 40 hours at that point in time) i didnt even remember what exactly i had said in it until reading it again just now after seeing it answered on my dash (didnt even figure it out it was my fucking ask until halfway through) so i was kinda worried about having come across differently than intended and sounding idk entitled or some shit by talking about wanting to read more from you whenever and only of possible (id fucking hate to sound like one of those "next chapter right now!!!! I dont care that you have a life!!! Write the fucking chapter now!!!" readers) and i was more anxious ab it after time passed without getting an answer (ngl i was p much straight up stalking your blog every few hours the first few days then i saw a post from you about how tumblr eats your asks and calmed down quite a bit) but yeah anyway i just really wanted to tell you how much i loved ypur stuff and how strongly i feel about autophobia and your writing in general hopefully without making you uncomfy or coming across as rude or anything i hope i succeed in doing that at least kinda

But yeah jsyk youre the first desc account i started interacting with properly after randomly becoming hyperfixated as fuck on descendants and your stuff is responsible fpr getting me more into the fandom and into desc itself so yeah thank you

And also i just wanna say that when i first started autophobia i REALLY didnt think my autistic aroace ass would like it since i never was into abo in the traditional form of the trope but goddamn did i fucking love ypur fic despite any initial assumptions i had made about it i loved carlos' characterization so much and i loved everyones characterization so much amd the whole plot and everything i felt it was So well executed i often daydream of like alternate events for my favourite fics but for yours i can conceive no alternate plot development that id like more than yours its absolutely chefs kiss

Anyway sorry for thia absolutely fucking gigantic rant feel free to ignore me apologies if its too much and (tldr:) thank you for everything!!

(Original ask)

I'm the actual worst at responding on Tumblr, I'm so sorry.

Your asks, both the previous one and this one, are so sweet! I never mind long asks, though it does take me longer to respond to them. Seriously, if it takes me a while to answer, it's because most of my work days are 10-12 hours and I do not have energy to reply, it's a busy life!! My mobile Tumblr (which is what I normally use) does not give me any alert that I get an ask, but if I check my mobile tumblr, my desktop tumblr will not show that I have an ask because it thinks I saw the notification on mobile (which I don't). So also blame the wonky app lol.

There are months of effort that go into all my pieces on AO3, especially Autophobia, so messages like these that show that people know how much effort I put into my work are so rewarding. And I love Descendants, it brought my such entertainment and joy during harsh periods of my life, I am in awe if my writing helped you to love a fandom as much as I do!

And I've had a lot of people tell me that Autophobia is their favorite ABO fic or the fic that got them invested in that trope, which also means so much to me because ABO is my favorite AU!!

Thanks so much for taking the time to send me such a lovely letter, it makes me smile so much!!

[ganondoodle]

yr brain? galaxy level. i wanna hear all ur lore and stuff

you know what ? im gonna write the basic plot for soogas backstory here now too-

- his parents were both sheikah soldiers serving the royal family, they were nearly never home so he barely even knew them and was pretty much living on his own from a young age on

- they both died while on a mission far away, but that didnt change much for him other than him having to find a way to earn money himself now

- when he was a teenager he was recruited by the royal family (he wanted to tho) which is also where he met Hibiki (my only real zelda Oc .. sorry gotta involve them now- this is how they look, although they are older here than when sooga first met them

i think i forgot to post this on tumblr lmao; anyway they are an artist and a bit older than sooga)

- since they were both outcasts with no relatives that cared about them they quickly became friends (tho it was def more one sided at first bc Hibiki is a way more extroverted ) tho Hibiki has been a bit longer in the army so they rarely went on missions together and only hung out during breaks or when they had both time off

- even after years of training they both stayed in the lower ranks of the army and never managed to climb to a higher one, part of the reason was that Hibiki didnt do a good job of being a spy, not bc they were detected, they just never had much information to report for some reason and Sooga always defended them when they got bullied by higher ups for it (you know how he threatens ppl) which in turn made him less liked and got him almost kicked out once (and yes, Hibiki did have a crush on Sooga but he never realized that even tho they made it REALLY obvious)

- you know the story how link got appointed as zeldas bodyguard ? with him deflecting a laser from a malfunctioning guardian to protect the princess ? yeah, so in my hc, while he did deflect it it didnt straight up hit the guardian back but rather was simply redirected and although Hibiki tried to pull Sooga away it still hit the left side of his face which is how he got that big af scar and lost his eye

- he survived and of course Hibiki was there to take care of him whenever they could, but the more time went on while he recovered it was made clear that the higher ups wanted to kick him out of the army after his wound healed bc they didnt think he was fit to fight anymore missing an eye (thats what they said but it was pretty obvious they just wanted a reason to get rid of him) 

- Hibiki reassured Sooga they would do everything they could to convince them otherwise bc they knew that all he ever wanted to do is be a strong and respected soldier serving the royal family, but who would listen to the worst spy in the whole army .. he got kicked out anyway of course and was forced to work as a farmer (more like help other farmers really) 

- from then on Hibiki was trying to be a better spy, so they could earn enough respect to maybe get the army to welcome Sooga back into their ranks

- but one day when Sooga returned from some field work he noticed a new grave at the corner of the village, and asked who died, it took some time for him to find out it was Hibiki who fell in battle bc after they left the village they never returned so the other villagers forgot even their name, the army brought their body back into the village since they were borne there and didnt have any living relatives

- that was what pushed his resentment for the kingdom and the other sheikah over the edge really, he stole some ancient hidden away sheikah scrolls from the elder of the village and used them to teach himself some techniques ... or at least TRIED to, the only one he was able to manage was a half functional clone, which he used to fake his death and live a live in the shadows, staying away from settlements out of fear of beign recognized

- he made his way into the gerudo desert where he never went to before, and in a cold night snuk undetected into the yiga hideout in the search for shelter since he wasnt equipped for that kind o extreme weather .. tho he didnt realize what he just did

- in the morning he was found after all and, understandably, attacked bc wth how did that guy even get in here ?? after he managed to survive for pretty long given the circumstances, he tried to flee but was stopped by master kohga himself, and while kohga was monologing about .. stuff, Sooga realized this might be his chance to live a proper life again and that pretty close to what he always wanted, so he promptly asks to join them

- positively surprised kohga of course cant just accept him into the clan like that, i mean Sooga was wearing sheikah clothing and got UNDETECTED into their hideout and took a nap there for several hours before being found, thats suspicious as hell

- after being put through several tests and challanges he is accepted into the clan after all-

- now fast forward post calamity (just a few years tho) the topic of Soogas origins comes up and he tells kohga alot but is interrupted bc koh ask him if the friend he was talking about was “a kinda weird artist” ... turns out Hibiki died in a clash with the yiga clan and ... was killed by kohga himself.

- Hibiki always carried a sketchbook in a bag around with them, and the clan took it after their death bc they thought it might contain useful info, it didnt, but since the sketches in it where pretty good they kept it anyway even if it was only half readable since it got soaked in blood

- that is a reveal that tested soogas loyalty to the clan like nothing else could (everyone in the clan including kohga, was expecting him to turn against them again, but were still waiting for him to actually betray the clan)

- sooga didnt turn on them tho, reason was, he managed to seperate the pages of the sketchbook that were stuck together from blood and discovered finely detailed art of the hideout, of its interior too and even of kohga as well

- Hibiki never had much info to tell their superiors bc they snuk around the hideout when on a mission but never with the goal to rat the clan out. they secretly admired kohga and the clan, even wanted to join them for a long time, but never got to do it bc they didnt want to leave Sooga behind but also .. they were afraid to tell him bc he was so focused on becoming a good sheikah soldier they were sure he wouldnt feel the same; they were torn between wanting to join the yiga but afraid of destroying their friendship with sooga ..

when they got into that fatal fight with the clan, kohga didnt even attack them with the intend to kill and they could have easily dodged or parried the hit, the reason they didnt was, ironically, bc they were so stunned by admiration of seeing their idol right in front of them they didnt move a muscle until it was too late...

this got longer than i thought, maybe i went into too much detail here, but anyway this is a summary of the backstory i came up with for Sooga, it doesnt end here tho, this is more like the story of how sooga became part of the yiga; after all of this comes alot more tho it wouldnt make much sense to add that here too xD 

sorry for the long af post, i hope its somewhat understandable ;__;

[briankang]

how did u get into skz and what were the highlights of your time with them so far? also do u have a bias line? or is it just chan? also why chan?

omg ok so!!

i actually vaguely knew about them back in 2019 when around my pace came out and my friends tori and ayanna and i were like AYO THIS SLAPS??? and i added it to my spotify but i wasn’t into kpop as much at the time so i sorta forgot about them for a bit. then like. late 2020 early last year a gc i was in (which. lol) started getting into them and me like oh that’s cool! i distinctly remember them showing me chris and bambam on the survival show and them being like YOU KNOW BAMBAM EXISTS??? and me, who had liked got7 since 2015, like yeah! and me being like. ok but who is this he’s so cute 👀👀👀 and over time they showed me some content every once in a while and i was like oh they’re neat!!! the winter is coming eps and the goddamn. skz up all night videos are distinct to me. anyways it was around gods ddu du ddu du and their final kingdom performance i started to PROPERLY dig in and the day they performed wolfgang changed my fucking life. it was 6 am i hadn’t slept and i saw christopher chan bang flip in and then DO THAT WHOLE SHIRTLESS BIT and decided right then and there to buy their bubbles and stan then forever i never looked back DBWKEJWJEJNDN.

HIGHLIGHTS…..def when hyunjin came back, the release of noeasy. not to be annoying but talking to chris on video call literally changed my life bc i didn’t even enter into a raffle knowingly i just bought my scars albums and then it. it just happened i almost cried TRHEISJSJSJ. he was soooo kind like. it was only 30 seconds but he was just. ugh. so handsome and the fact that he got flustered when i said he looked nice fhejeehejjwjw and us just. chatting like two friends like i was sooooo nervous leading up and then he came up and i felt soooo at ease? the way he looked genuinely like ☹️ that we had to hang up and was like “times up ☹️☹️☹️ see you next time????” and looked rlly hopeful about it like. it lives rent free IM SORRY I DIDNT MEAN TO GO ON ABOUT THIS DHSHSBSJS HE JUST!!!! it will never leave me ive never felt so lucky 💕💕💕💕 however mostly recent highlights have been hanging out with you guys and making friends like genuinely that’s been so fucking fun and i love you guys im so bad at replying unless we talk every day sometimes and can be kinda shy but everyone is SO kind i love stayblr. i also watched the fanmeet and streamed oddinary with tori and ayanna when it came out and that was so. fucking fun idk it was v warm i love being able to share what i love with my friends and not feel bad about it dhsbshwjsj

god. ok so im a libra (chris and i are two days apart actually, two years too it’s fun to me hehehee) and have never been able to pick just one bias bc im indecisive LMAO rn i consider it chris, minho, and felix and hyunjin. minho was not originally here. in fact i used to think he was so weird and didn’t care for his vibes but over time i truly did like warm up to him esp having his bubble. i find him so endearing and the way he just. cares is so subtle and sweet and his humor dhwgejwhjwj i didnt intend to love him like this. felix was an originally top boy tho but. as i always say. if u don’t like felix that’s a red flag like he’s nothing but kindness and warmth. hyunjin was also originally higher in my line!!! his talent is soooo incredible and idk he’s just so cute and silly and passionate and romantic. idk i think we would be besties!!!

oh christopher though. truly cannot explain the love i have for that boy it’s EMBARRASSING like. idk what it is but like that dude came into my life and nothing had been the same RHWJWSHASJSJ like he’s just so. he’s just SOME GUY RIGHT. but like. in the way you’ve KNOWN a guy like that who’s v sweet and well intentioned but awkward and silly. like a dude you were friends with or went to school with. idk that’s what i love about him like he talks about songs he loves or things he did back in the day and im like “wow we would’ve gotten along so well in school like we deadass would’ve been friends and i would’ve had a massive crush on him” RHWHEEHWJEJW like. he is just so kind and FUNNY and passionate and hardworking and just. the way he loves the Kids. ugh it just pulls at my heart and he’s so talented like the way he can literally do everything. the way he’s open with his struggles is so UGH and the way he gets flustered over everything is so cute to me and how he acts cute to everyone and just. idk i want him to succeed and always have good days and all of that. also he is so handsome oh my god like. AND cute like he does both i wish he believe that he was as good looking as he actually is. anyways i love him in a normal way a normal amount.