#(since erica is actually a GOOD principal who cares about the kids in her school lol)

[warrior-of-waistbands]

next | meanwhile... | archive

hey what if I actually talk about the story for once

[the-cu-genswap-au]

next: updated refs for the main adult cast (aka, the other core quintet)

- As principal of Jerome Horwitz Elementary, Erica Wang has dedicated her career to making sure every child in her school gets the support they need. Under Erica's leadership, JHES is a much less depressing place, sporting features like an art program, a fully-stocked library, after school tutoring, and an actual full-time school nurse.

- Erica herself also likes to take a hands-on approach with students, taking notice of anyone who seems to be struggling either academically or socially and working together with Bo to figure out the best course of action. While her intentions are definitely in the right place and come from a sense of genuine care, she does have a habit of forgetting to ask the students themselves what they think of her ideas....

- Design note: Erica's design is a fusion of her main kid design and her future "Grace Wain" persona

- Bo Hweemuth is the school's student guidance counselor, which basically means his job is to talk to students and help get them any resources they need, both in and outside of school. Though a lot of students feel intimidated by him at first glance, he's actually a very chill guy who likes to approach students with as much kindness and empathy as he can. He knows what it's like to be treated like a nuisance.

- Besides being co-workers, Bo is actually very good friends with Principal Wang, genuinely enjoying the work they do together to make sure every child at Jerome Horwitz can thrive.... despite any misgivings he might have about her approach. And speaking of co-workers, he's also recently struck up a pretty close friendship with the school librarian....

- In his spare time, he likes to experiment with clay sculpture. His office is decorated with all the little sculptures and figures he's made over the years.

- George Beard and Harold Hutchins are known around school as That One Pair Of Teachers; they're always together and are each other's best friend, even outside of work. To their students, they're some of the funnest teachers they've had at JHES, since they prioritize making their classes into fun, engaging learning environments through creative lesson plans and treating their students like actual people. Especially George, since he teaches the traditionally "boring" subjects of English and Literature.

- George and Harold are also the current co-leads of the school Music and Arts Program, along with music teacher Dressy Killman. Harold mentors in art, while George handles creative writing. They like to joke that they're "professionals in their field," except they're not really joking about that and it's just that everybody thinks that they are because nobody knows anything about them outside of the school.....

- Design note: George and Harold already have canon adult designs, so I just added on a few accessories to distinguish their AU selves from their canon counterparts (George's suspenders, Harold's vest)

- Melvin Sneedly (that's Professor Sneedly to you) is starting his first year as Jerome Horwitz's new science teacher, after a regrettably failed attempt to get his robotics career off the ground. He absolutely does not want to be here, he hates teaching, he hates kids, the sooner he can get out of this terrible place the better.

- He's not exactly helping his case by driving away everyone who tries to connect with him, either. Instead of spending his break times in the staff lounge with everyone else, he's spending them holed away in his classroom, poring over lesson plans, reminders of his broken dreams, and.... other stuff. It's probably not a good idea to keep bringing these personal projects to work with him but then again, his science career did fail for a reason....

- Design note: the main design philosophy here is "hey, what would Melvinborg look like without the robot half.....?"

[onegayastronaut]

Back To You (Erica Reyes x Reader)

Requested by anon:  Would you be willing to write for Erica Reyes? Maybe reader and Erica were sort of friends before she was turned and reader always had a crush on her. Now that Erica is confident she actually notices the signs and teases the reader about it but ultimately has feelings for her too? Obviously no worries if the idea or the character aren't up your alley, just figured I would take a chance. Thanks!

Words: 1777

Ever since you were assigned seat partners in third grade, you had the biggest crush on Erica. There was just something about her that always drew you to her, but you just never had the guts to tell her how you felt. Even though you were sure she wouldn’t react badly, you still weren’t sure how exactly she would react to the news of your crush on her.

However, you had other things on your mind in recent days. You haven’t seen Erica around school for the past couple of days, but there were more pressing matters at hand. Luckily for you, Scott was one of the worst liars you have ever met. Stiles was no better at hiding things, and after a threatening glare from you, both of these guys spilled the beans on werewolves and why Derek was always hanging around campus. All they asked was that you wouldn’t go poking around without one of them present, as they didn’t want you to be alone when there was something dangerous lurking around.

Now that you knew one of your closest friends was a werewolf, you couldn’t stop yourself from trying to know more about them. Everything from the origins to what every culture had to say about them, you tried to find out everything that you could. There came a point in your detective work where Allison finally dragged you to the side and gave you a book with all the necessary information.

“(Y/N), you can’t be going around asking people about werewolf history and mythology.”

“Well, how the hell else am I supposed to help one of my best friends? He’s going through what is possibly the biggest change of his life and I don’t know jack shit about how to help him.”

“Luckily for you, my family has generations worth of research on werewolves and how they operate. If you need anything, just text me and I’ll do my best to answer.”

-----

You were just getting things from your locker when you heard footsteps from down the hall. It was probably one of the girls from the cheer squad dressing up for her birthday, you thought. However, when you closed the door of your locker to see who it was, your jaw practically dropped to the floor. Logically, you knew it was Erica, but the way she was dressed and looked was completely different than what you saw a few days ago. Everything from her heels to the way she carried herself was different. If you had a crush on her before, it was nothing compared to the way you were feeling now that you saw her strutting down the hallway.

“You know, some sources say that if you drooled any more, there would be a pool on the floor.” Allison’s voice materialized from behind you, causing you to jump.

“Who said I was drooling? Erica just has a different look now, is all. She looks good.”

“Mhmm. And Scott just likes me as a friend right? (Y/N), if anyone bothered to look at your face just now when she walked by, they’d know how much you wanted her.”

“I don’t have feelings for her!”

“Oh, did I mention feelings? Now I know you have feelings for Erica, thanks for the additional information.”

“Oh my god, Allison. Some days I swear you are too much.” You hurried away with your face burning. How were you so easy to figure out?

When you arrived to your English classroom, you were out of breath and somewhat sweaty from your light jog over. Talking to Allison had nearly made you late to class, and your mom would kill you if she got another tardy call from the school. As you made your way to the desk, you saw Erica sitting next to you.

“Hey Erica, how are you doing? You look nice.”

“Didn’t I look nice before, (Y/N)?”

“Well, yes, I -- I didn’t mean it like that. All I meant was, uh, you look nice? I like this new look.” You tried to stop the word vomit from coming out, but it seemed like your mouth was, yet again, not planning to listen to your brain.

“I was just teasing you, (Y/N). I know what you meant.”

“Eyes and ears towards the front, ladies.” The substitute teacher was known to be an ass, and you were not planning on getting sent to the principal’s office today so you dutifully shut up.

The rest of the day passed rather uneventfully, and it seemed you were able to get your thirst under control. However, it seemed your life would not know peace as you walked out of your last class of the day. Erica was waiting by the door, and when you walked out, she grabbed your arm. “Hey, hot stuff. Want to hang out now that school’s over?”

Even though Erica was only touching your arm, it felt like there was a fire spreading all over your body. Erica was cute before, but whatever happened to her in the days she was gone had made her hot as hell and you weren’t sure how to react to the situation. You decided to say something before things got any more awkward. “Are you sure that’s a good idea? There’s a lot of homework to do.”

“Don’t be boring, (Y/N). Let’s go out, have fun. Homework will still be there when we get back. Come on, I got something to show you.”

You followed Erica out of school towards a brand new sports car. “Where did you get that? Is that yours?”

“That’s right, this baby is all mine. Where did you want to go first?”

“I was thinking about getting a bite to eat before heading back to my house to finish up on homework.”

“Sounds good to me. I could eat like a wolf right now.”

Throughout the hours that you spent with Erica, you noticed a lot of small things that seemed to have changed about her. Apart from the obvious change in looks, it seemed like Erica was stronger, more confident in herself and her body.

“What are you looking at?” Erica’s voice distracted you from getting too lost in your thoughts.

“Oh, nothing. I was just thinking, you seem different from the last time I saw you last week. What’s going on? What happened?”

Erica went quiet as she ate her fries. “I was given a gift. And the gift is control over my own body in ways that I never knew was possible. I used to be weak, but not anymore. I’ll never go back to being a helpless little girl anymore.”

“I never thought you were weak.”

“There’s no reason to be unnecessarily nice, (Y/N). I’m much better than I’ve been before. Let’s go to your place now.”

As you were studying, you couldn’t help but glance over at Erica every once in a while. You’ve wanted to be with her for as long as you could remember, so now that she’s in your room with this newfound confidence about her, you couldn’t help but entertain all those fantasies about her again.

“You’re doing that thing again.”

“What thing?”

“Staring at me. Careful, if I didn’t know any better I’d think you were in love with me or something.”

-----

As the weeks went by, you would stare at Erica every time you were bored or drifting off in class. You couldn’t help looking as she was definitely the hottest girl in class, and it wasn’t like looking would get you in trouble. Allison would usually snort whenever she saw you or noticed how you were staring at Erica. Even though you told her that it would most likely turn out to be nothing, you couldn’t help but want to be with Erica and have her push you in an empty classroom and make you hers.

Sighing as you closed the door to your locker, you started when you saw Erica seem to pop out of nowhere. “What’s the matter, (Y/N)? Not happy to see me?”

“No, you just surprised me, is all.”

“Good, because you’ve been super quiet for the last couple of days. I was getting worried you were avoiding me or something.”

“I haven’t. I’ve just been thinking...about stuff.”

“Hopefully about me.” Erica winked at you, but you couldn’t bring yourself to meet her gaze. How did she know? Were you that obvious? The taller girl leaned in whispered, “Meet me in the chemistry classroom after this period. I want to tell you something.” You stared as she walked away, and you reluctantly walked the opposite direction to class.

The next hour could not have gone more slowly. It seemed as if the teacher was purposefully going slower than usual, and you practically ran out of the classroom the second the bell rang. You knew that there was no chemistry class for the next hour, so you tried to be as sneaky as possible letting yourself into the classroom. When you got in, Erica was already waiting for you. 

“There you are.” Erica came over to you and planted a kiss on you. “I know you’ve been wanting me to do that for a while.”

“How did -- how did, you know?” At this point, you didn’t care how much you stuttered. Erica had finally kissed you! Did that mean she liked you too?

“I would be a fool to not be able to tell that you had a thing for me. And to be honest, I think you’re extremely cute. We’d make a very good looking couple.” Erica’s hands traced your face. “And I’m not going to lie, I could smell how much you’ve wanted me for the last few weeks.”

“Smell? How could you possibly smell that?” Erica’s eyes brightened in response, and you finally knew what had caused all the changes in her. “You’re a werewolf too.”

“That was the other thing I wanted to tell you, though it seems you have some knowledge of the subject.” For the first time in weeks, it seemed as if Erica was a bit nervous. “I hope that doesn’t make you want me any less.”

“Are you kidding? I’ve wanted to be with you for as long as I can remember. It helps that you’re stronger and more confident now.”

“Does that mean you’re okay with missing your next class? Because I want to show you how much I’ve been holding back since I’ve changed.” Erica picked you up and placed you on the nearest lab counter. Hopefully, you wouldn’t make too much of a mess after Erica was done with you today.

[seashellrosekitty]

Crestfallen | Part Three

Pairing: Scott McCall x Female Reader (eventually), Stiles Stilinski x Reader (platonic)

Wordcount: 2k 

Plot: You’re new to Beacon Hills, grieving your parents’ death. Scott befriends you in Biology class.

Chapter Characters: Natalie Martin, Lydia Martin, Stiles Stilinski, Coach Bobby Finstock, and Noah Stilinski; mentions of Isaac Lahey, Erica Reyes, and Vernon Boyd

Warning: Deep Angst. The reader’s character might come off as depressing to you. Real world AU - our beloved Alpha and Banshee are merely humans in this story.

A/N: First GIF isn’t mine. Got it from Google.

Part Two

It was almost November, roughly two months since I moved in with the Martins. Each day was getting colder. Gloomier. Lots of times I had thought about home. I thought about my friends Erica, Isaac, and Boyd. We weren’t the cool kids. And we certainly didn’t dream of being the cool kids. We were what you would consider invisible and happy with it. There weren’t defining cliques in our school. The four of us had our own world. And the one thing we all loved was Coldplay. 

Isaac and Boyd worked at the local mechanic shop after school. Their thing was cars and motorcycles, but just like Stiles and Scott, they also had lacrosse to fill their afternoons and weekends. Erica loved going Star Trek conventions and more often than she should, to the hair salon. I, on the other hand, loved the movies. From the classics like Casablanca to pop culture ones like Pitch Perfect, I watched them all. I adore them all. 

Sure, we had a common denominator. But we talked about lots of things. You know that kind of friendship that doesn’t need a reason to be together? That’s how we were. How we used to be. I missed them so much. But at this point in my life, I was not ready to face them. Is that weird? I missed them, but I didn’t wanna see them?

***

On the first week of the month, I didn’t know much about what was going on with me, but it sure got me to trouble. It was a dreading week in gym class and Coach Finstock was being a lot more annoying than usual. Such a loudmouth. He kept calling whoever was not as peppy as he was.

Unfortunately, I was one of those kids. Sometimes I mentally told him off, asking him what kind of teacher he is when he clearly lacks empathy or anything remotely close it. I mean, if a kid is less than energetic than other kids, what does that tell you?

I was getting annoyed by the way he kept snapping at me with his loud, phlegm-induced voice whenever he caught me just standing or sitting in a corner. No matter how loud he yelled me, he didn’t intimidate me at all. We had rock climbing and I didn’t want to participate. I was afraid of being up that wall, no matter how strong the harness was. There was no way I was going up.

“Y/L/N, everybody climbs! Now! Up you go!” He demanded. His voice was rough and loud, as always. I kept a straight face and didn’t move a foot. I already told him I didn’t want to go. I even explained how terrified I was of being up there. For some reason, his hostile temperament kept me calm no matter how I tried to explain and be firm with him.

I guess there was no way to reason with this guy. He turned his back on me when I thought I was still thinking, still trying to brace myself for that impossible climb, when I heard myself utter in my most sarcastic voice, “Up you go my ass.”

He turned around. He heard it. He heard me. Fuck.

“What was that young lady?” he threatened. My lips were sealed. But my eyes were screaming murder. “What? You’re mute all of a sudden?” He was chuckling now, enjoying this very moment of my embarrassment. Everybody was looking at us now. At me. I glared at everyone around us, looking at me. “Look, Y/L/N, I haven’t got all day. Detention. NOW.” I inhaled deeply and turned around. I could still feel my eyes murdering him. But somehow I was relieved for not having to climb that wall, but also just a tad bit worried about what Natalie would say. For sure, it was gonna be something I don’t wanna listen to.

I spent an hour in detention scribbling all sorts of profanity that I was screaming in my head. I drew trees. Lots of it. And they were all terrible ones. I’m no artist, that’s for sure. That whole hour, I realized how good Lydia and her friends were as students. They always had things coming and going. I think they were never in detention. I thought of them as my hand drew lines in my notebook.

Scott was getting mostly A’s in AP Biology. Two weeks ago, he started using big words like “ephemeral” in normal conversations. Everyday, he had a new word. I found it pretty funny, actually.

Meanwhile, Lydia got busy with her Math and Science clubs. There was an inter-school math olympiad competition coming up, and a science fair for middle schoolers that the high school Science club had organized. Stiles wasn’t academically competitive compared to the other two, but he devoted some of his free time helping out his dad at the police station. He’s so smart about detective stuff, I think he might join the police force in the future.

They’re such good kids. Sometimes I felt ashamed hanging out with them. Especially that Lydia is family. There’s always that thing. The chance to be compared to her. Anyway, I enjoyed detention. I was away from everybody. But as soon as the bell rang, my fun ended as well.

When Lydia and I got home, I rushed up to my room and buried my face to the bed. I felt like time was passing so fast that I could already picture Natalie’s face frowning at me. Judging me. The next thing I knew, Lydia was waking me up for dinner. I basically slept for two hours trying to escape this shithole I seem to have dug myself into.

I wasn’t wrong. I was bound to be confronted about my recent behaviors in school.

“I heard you were giving Coach Finstock a hard time today, Y/N,” Natalie began. I knew it. They pick up on trouble like fucking hound dogs. She didn’t even just call me to her office and waited ‘til all of us got home before she decided to do this talk. In front of the food. In front of my perfect cousin. I just looked at her as I picked on my food with my fork.

“He’s the one who gave me a hard time. I didn’t wanna climb.”

“How do you expect to be graded if you don’t participate in class? And speaking of which, Principal Thomas told me you’ve been skipping classes, too.” I didn’t say anything back. I’m surprised she hasn’t noticed when she herself was in school every day as well.

I also didn’t look at her. But I could already feel my face heating up. Lydia’s wide eyes were on me too, of course. She didn’t know I was in detention. If people’s bodies appeared literally the way they felt, then my head must be burning now.

“You better fix that attitude, Y/N,” Natalie commanded.

“OR WHAT? What are you gonna do, huh? Tell my parents?!” I don’t know why I said that but it just came out. My heartbeat was picking up and I wanted to scream at her. Instead, I stood up quickly before she could say anything back and rushed to my room and locked myself in there.

I badly wanted to run away. No. I wanted to disappear.

That night, Natalie tried to talk to me. She knocked a few times but my lights were already off and of course, I pretended to be asleep. The next morning on the ride to school, Lydia and I were silent as dead people in a graveyard. I was still cranky from the night before. I probably looked like I could kill someone with just a look in the eye.

***

Stiles and I agreed to meet after school for another History project. I asked him if we could go to his house this time. I didn’t want to come home early. I told Lydia I would be with Stiles. I guess she hated my guts so much that she didn’t even bother hanging out with her boyfriend for a while.

Our History project involved a lot of research and analysis for a thorough report and debate due the following week. Talk about making things complicated. Our discussion started at 5 PM and ended at around 8:30, when his dad had just arrived from the station, bringing us dinner. We were so into our discussion that we totally forgot about dinner.

An hour later, Sheriff Stilinski was already drowsy from drinking half a bottle of Jack while he studied cases from the station. He was talking to himself, trying to understand them. I watched Stiles get stressed over his dad. They would bicker just about anything, especially about food. At times, they forget I was around that they would exchange roles of being the parent and son in the room. Sometimes I found them amusing and sometimes I found things between them sad. A better term would be ‘bittersweet’. I never got to know this side of Stiles. I thought he was all sarcasm and jokes and the daily avoidance to face life’s shit. But here he was. Facing life’s shit daily.

He and his dad take care of each other. His mom passed away when he was young. Stiles had always made sure his dad ate well. Even though he allowed him to drink at night sometimes - just to soften a hard day’s work. Anticipating the day to come for another hardball to play was another thing, I guess. A drink, indeed, was necessary.

That night, Stiles caught his dad finishing a whole bag of fries from the takeouts. Of course, it was too late for anything except him scolding his dad about hypertension. After putting him to bed, he went downstairs mumbling, “People say it’s difficult to raise kids. But did they ever think of kids who try to raise their parents?” It was almost 9 PM and we just wanted to patch up a few details before calling it a night.

He offered to drive me home in exchange for finishing later than agreed. If I were to decide, I would say he needed the drive too. We were mostly quiet during the ride home. But I was comfortable with it. I wasn’t pressured to talk about anything. Stiles became someone so easy to be with. Perhaps that’s why, when he pulled over at the Martins’, I blurted out something that’s been in my head for a while.

“You’re lucky you still have your dad, Stiles,” I quietly said. He looked at me with the expression he’s never showed me before. I believe the word for it is ‘concern’. If not pity.

“I’m sorry, Y/N/N,” he muttered. I guess it was ‘pity’ then. “I shouldn’t have complained. It just...gets really difficult sometimes.” It turns out, I judged him for pitying me. When did I become so snobby and judgmental?

“No. I’m sorry,” I insisted. “I didn’t mean for you to compare your life to mine. I’m just...I know I’d do the same if I were in your shoes. It’s not like we have a choice, right?”

He looked at me in the eyes almost without blinking. I could tell he was thinking of what he wanted to say to me. But instead, he gave me that sad smile I’ve been seeing everywhere - from almost everyone I spoke to. I didn’t resent him for that. His mom died too. I can’t imagine growing up without my mom. And he did. And he became this really strong person he probably doesn’t even know he is. Since then, I never looked at Stiles the same way. He was a responsible kid, no matter how strongly he wore that clown facade. He has earned my respect that night.

If one of my parents were still alive, I would do what Stiles does. I’ll make sure they live longer than they expect themselves to.

Part Four

@bojabee @jurrasicpork @thejourneyofabrokenheart @sav625 @kim-hunter5 @seninjakitey

[florrickandassociates]

TGF Thoughts: 2x04-- Day 429 (1)

If TGF can do two episodes in one, I can do two recaps for one episode. This recap covers Liz’s part of the ep.

The episode begins on a promising note, informing the audience that there will be two chapters: Liz’s Case and Lucca’s Case. One second in, and it’s already apparent that this episode will be (a) innovative and (b) focused on Liz and Lucca.

I have a feeling I’ve heard the Kings talk before (like, season 5/season 6) about wanting to do an episode like this. Does anyone else recall this? At any rate, I’m glad the writers have TGF to experiment a little more with structure. And I think this particular structure works better on Fight (an ensemble show) than it would have on Wife (a show with one lead).

After we’re informed we’re going to be watching “Liz’s Case” first, we see a sheet of paper with ABC written on it. Jay is running active shooter training with some of the members of the firm, including all of the name partners, Lucca, and Maia (who doesn’t get a seat at the table). This is both timely and a good way of furthering the KILL ALL LAWYERS fears without hitting you over the head with it. (This episode, in general, is light on the KILL ALL LAWYERS stuff, as well as on Trump commentary. There’s just enough to remind the viewer that it’s still weighing on everyone, especially Diane.) A delivery man barges in, making a loud noise and spooking everyone. Yep: they’re definitely still on edge. (A little goes a long way: these are the kind of details I love.)

Also, I appreciate that Jay is running the training. Last week I was impressed/surprised he knew how to deal with the ricin scare, and now I’m assuming that office safety is part of his job (or something he’s volunteer to help with).

Marissa walks in and whispers something to Lucca; we don’t hear what it is.

Someone asks a question over the phone. It’s Liz, but it’s impossible to tell since the connection is terrible. This is relatable. I don’t even want to know how much time I’ve lost at work waiting for clients to figure out how to improve their phone connections.

Liz’s connection is terrible because she’s in the car. And why is she in the car? Because she’s taking her son (!!!) to a doctor’s appointment. I’m so glad the writers didn’t forget about Liz’s son. There aren’t enough parents in The Good Verse.

Liz drops her son off at school, where she learns that his favorite teacher has been fired. They let him go in the middle of the year? Sorry. Not the point.

Liz jumps into action as she heads into work, getting on the phone with the principal and explaining that this teacher was one of the few who was able to get through to her son. Liz walks past Lucca and we see a brief snippet of what’s going on with Lucca before going back to Liz. (Can’t remember if it was at this point or slightly later I realized we were going to get info on what was happening with Lucca, but whenever I had that realization I had to pause the TV because I was so excited about the idea. One could say I liked this episode.)

Liz points out to the (white) principal that the fired teacher was one of few people of color at the school. “Our push for diversity is renowned,” responds the principal. Hm.

Speaking of diversity, before I forget to mention it, after last week I was worried about TGF centering itself on its white leads and becoming too enamored with Marissa. This episode focuses on Liz and Lucca, and while this focus is a little overdue, it does make me hopeful that TGF understands that its black characters are also leads, and that an episode can focus on two black women. That’s especially important for the show to do after it pretty much traded Barbara for Liz.

(I’m still so conflicted on the lack of Barbara. On the one hand, the writers seem to have a great grasp on Liz and they did not understand how to write Barbara at all. But I don’t like calling it a good move to get rid of Barbara, because if they’d just written her character well and given her consistent development, if her fourth episode also showed her POV (ok, fine, her fourth episode was actually the most Barbara-centric one but it wasn’t like this) and expanded what we knew about her life, then maybe I wouldn’t be writing something right now about how the writers had to write her out. I’m a broken record about this, I know, but it doesn’t seem fair to praise the writing for Liz when I know the only reason we have Liz is because the writers failed Barbara/Erica.)

“Yes, I’ve heard about your push quite a bit at the school assemblies,” Liz tells the principal (like she already thought the school wasn’t doing enough…). She also says she thinks they’ll be in touch, since at this point she knows she’s going to try to help the teacher keep his job.

Lucca asks Jay to help her with something; he agrees. As she walks off, Liz approaches him. Now that Jay’s helping Lucca, he doesn’t have time to help Liz, so Marissa jumps in. Liz is reluctant but she goes along with it.

In an informal meeting of the name partners in Diane’s office, Adrian explains that they’ve had lots of cancellations for their party. “The lawyer killings. Our chemical scare,” Diane understands. (Um, why would these people have RSVP’d yes in the first place? The party wasn’t thought up before the chemical scare. It’s what Adrian talks to Diane about at the end of Day 422.)

“I say ‘fuck it,’” Diane responds. “You’ve been saying that a lot lately,” Liz comments. Indeed she has. “Making up for lost time,” Diane winks at the camera. She doesn’t, but, like, come on. This line is extremely meta.

Diane then swivels in her chair and stares Liz down. It’s kind of comical-- not because it’s silly, but because Diane really doesn’t give a fuck and she doesn’t care who knows it.

Adrian picks up on the tension and asks Diane what’s going on after Liz exits. Diane laughs and answers a call on her laptop instead of responding.

It’s Kurt! He’s away on a trial somewhere, sitting in a hotel room. To be completely honest with you, I didn’t remember where Diane and Kurt’s relationship stood. I assumed from the fact that Diane was alone and microdosing they were separated. I also believed this was a pretty safe guess based on the seven years of Alicia/Peter relationship limbo we had to endure in TGW. These writers have never met a separation they didn’t want to prolong until the absolute last minute possible.

And indeed, even though Diane and Kurt were on good terms in 1x10, they’re still “giving it time.” Then the connection breaks up (‘cause miscommunication and technology being unreliable are THEMES this week) and Kurt thinks Diane said the separation is over. Diane closes the laptop instead of attempting to call back. I dunno, I feel like if I was in the middle of a convo like that I’d call back on a cell phone, send a text, something…?

Now the teacher is in Liz’s office and she’s offering to represent him in arbitration. “You are the only teacher to break through Malcolm’s shell,” she explains. She continues by saying that she’s always advised to put him in private school, “but if everybody abandons the public school system, it’ll implode.” Yes, thank you, Liz! (Also, I see why you didn’t get along with Alicia. I’m sure Alicia would also say she supports public schools but, um, she wouldn’t send her own children there unless she absolutely had to. And Liz would find that hypocritical.) 

Liz then calls in Maia. That’s right. Maia is working! THANK GOODNESS. Maia has almost nothing to do this ep, and the little that she has to do is work. Yay!!!

Malcolm’s public school is a charter school, which is… not exactly what springs to mind when I think of “believing in the public school system.” I was a bit surprised the writers didn’t delve into this, especially since other than a few mentions about the threat of unionization, it doesn’t really matter that it’s a charter. And charter schools are their own can of worms.

Elsbeth barges in (HELLO!!!) and only Maia recognizes her. She’s in the wrong place-- she’s looking for Lucca-- so she compliments Liz’s jacket and leaves.

Marissa goes to the school and pretends to be the mother of a second grader. She rambles a bit too much about her TOTALLY REAL husband, but it works. Marissa makes a vaguely racist comment to try to get a teacher to make an explicitly racist comment. She doesn’t get that, but she does get an explanation for why Mr. Coulson (Malcolm’s fave teacher) was let go: he’s gay.

Arbitration begins, and Nancy Crozier is representing the school. Seems she’s on the PTA. So… she has a kid?! I guess that doesn’t surprise me, but now I’m curious about the personal lives of all the recurring characters.

When it comes out that the principal had fired a teacher from her previous school (a Catholic school) because he was gay, we immediately get a reaction shot where Maia’s visible. It’s not Sad Puppy Owen from 4x09, but it’s just a little thing that clues us in to how Maia’s feeling.

The school used an algorithm to decide which teachers to fire so there would be no bias. Maia jumps in with the counterargument before I can scream it at my screen: “All algorithms are pointless unless they are based on good data.” Absolutely. An algorithm is not inherently objective.

I know I am now nitpicking stock footage (would you expect anything else from me?) but in this stock footage of Chicago it is Christmastime (see the red and green lights on the buildings) but in the show it is March.

Also, not at all the point, but one of the buildings in the stock footage now has a huge TRUMP sign on it so I am going to headcanon that Diane (and the others) have to walk past it every day, multiple times, ‘cause I think that’s fitting.

Now we’re at the poorly-attended RBL office party. There’s a lot of champagne and very few people. There are 18 non-RBL people there; Colin Morello makes 19.  

I still don’t get why Colin has to be a series regular, but I do like that the writers are making full use of the fact that he and Liz used to be coworkers. They chat about work for a few seconds until Colin sees Lucca through the glass walls (so! helpful!) with a man. He instantly gets jealous.

Guests 20 and 21 arrive. They’re the algorithm boys from last season. One of them hates a lot of things, including swearing. And, apparently, elevators. What he does like, though, is Marissa. Adrian refers to Marissa by name and as an investigator, which I’m sure would make Marissa happy if she knew about the interaction.

Diane and Liz chat at the bar. Liz asks for advice on dealing with Nancy Crozier, but Diane sees right through it: “This is a thing you do, isn’t it? You ask for advice in order to ingratiate yourself.” Probably true.

“You know, your ‘fuck it’ mode is starting to feel more like ‘fuck you’ mode,” Liz responds. What powers of observation you have, Liz! It’s almost like Diane walked into your office last week, said “fuck you” and left! Oh, wait…

(Also, Liz is wrong. It was Liz’s response to Diane’s ‘fuck it’ mode that made Diane angry enough to say ‘fuck you.” What’s Liz’s endgame?)

“Just appreciating your style,” Diane responds. “I’m just doing my job,” Liz says. Uh-huh. It’s her job to drink with Diane, pretend to ask for advice (ooh, it is a pattern), and then report back to Adrian? “And using what I confide in you to undercut me?” Diane counters. Liz sighs. “Look, I thought Adrian already knew you were thinking of leaving. That’s all,” she explains. Um. Does that track? I thought Liz approached Adrian about bringing on a new partner and told him about Diane, but she could be telling the truth. I am going through Day 415 to see exactly what Liz said, and omg, now I have to watch the Rindell nonsense again and it’s just highlighting how great Day 429 is. The All Access player really needs a 10 second skip feature.

Ok, Liz DOES tell Adrian “She never said anything to you?” so it’s possible that she was trying to be proactive about a situation, not trying to undercut Diane. The whole thing where she suggested Diane take time off and then told Adrian that Diane requested that time… not sure how to spin that one. But best case scenario here is that Liz is just blunt and didn’t mean anything against Diane. A girl can dream, right?

Diane says “it’s more fun to go at each other” in response to Liz, and nope, NOPE. 100% disagree. It is far more fun to watch them be friends. This plot is not fun and I spend every second it’s on screen trying to figure out a way to interpret seemingly malicious actions as benevolent. So… yeah. Sorry, Diane. It’s more fun for you to be friends. And you seem like you could use a friend right now. (Did Diane lose all her friends?)

Diane does offer Liz advice on dealing with Nancy: “She plays at being the nice girl while being tough. She’s good. But her rhythm is thrown off by objections.” The first part, definitely (I’m shocked that still works for her). The second part, is that a thing we’ve seen before?

Elsbeth arrives at the party and Diane’s excited to see her. Who wouldn’t be excited to see Elsbeth? Elsbeth is the best.

Elsbeth doesn’t seem to understand why the offices don’t have furniture (answer: they do; it’s been put in storage for the party). But she doesn’t spend too long wondering, because Diane asks her to sit down and compliments her dress. That’s right: Diane compliments Elsbeth’s wardrobe.

“Ooh! What do you think they’re talking about?” Elsbeth remarks when she sees Lucca spit out her drink. And then things get meta.

“It’s weird,” Elsbeth says. “We’re just the background characters to their story.”

“And they’re just the background characters to our story,” Diane points out.

“And we’re all just background characters to his story,” Elsbeth says, speaking of the bartender. “He could be the hero, and we could be the villains of the story.”

“Or we’re the heroes, and he’s the villain,” Diane spins. “That’s what keeps us humble. Not knowing,” Elsbeth says. “Or paranoid,” Diane counters.

I love this exchange. Is it incredibly on the nose? Is it an all caps Thesis Statement for the episode? Is it one of the least subtle things I’ve ever seen? Is it as obvious about the point it’s making as I am being right now, saying the same thing four times? Hell yes, it is. Is it still great? Yep.

The show is poking fun at itself, Elsbeth is exactly the kind of character that would start talking like this, and I totally believe that Diane would be game for this kind of conversation given her state of mind. It fits to have Diane thinking about these things-- even if only while making small talk with Elsbeth-- when she’s already questioning so much.

(I also like how every time Elsbeth suggests something that would have negative implications for Diane’s view of herself-- that she’s a background character, that she’s a villain-- Diane recenters the narrative. I am not sure that Diane’s doing it on purpose, but, uh, she is used to seeing herself as the hero.) (I don’t mean that as a negative thing! Just an observation!)

Diane turns the conversation even darker, because Elsbeth is a surprisingly good confidant: “You know, last week, I was walking down the street, and there was this homeless man digging for bottles in the trash and yelling at the top of his voice about the president and the country and how we’re all going insane. And I realized: that’s what my inner monologue sounds like. And that when I decided. I’ve got to change.” “To what?” “To someone who’s not going crazy.”

Well. There’s a lot going on there. As seems to be the theme for Diane this season, she’s feeling what everyone else is, but taking it one step farther.

Elsbeth doesn’t know how to react, so she compliments Diane. Then she compliments Diane’s necklace, and Diane gives it to her, along with her belt.. I… don’t know that I like this. It’s cute, but it seems so off-kilter it also worries me.

“I never thought you liked me, Diane,” Elsbeth says. “Hey, you know what? That’s my fault,” Diane admits. That’s sweet!

I don’t know what to make of this scene as a whole. Part of me thinks it’s a nice little Diane/Elsbeth moment where Diane’s No Fucks Given policy allows her to connect with a peer. A bigger part is worried that this scene might look like a warning sign (for what, I don’t know) once we get a little farther into the season.

I don’t get why this Colin/Lucca scene is here, in Liz’s story, right after a scene Liz also isn’t in. I understand that we have to see it before we know what’s going on for the story to work, but something (in editing, writing, or directing) could’ve been done here so this didn’t stand out. Also, Lucca invited Colin to the party, knowing she was pregnant and he was the father, but she has no plans of telling him he’s the father? Alrighty then.

And now for a third Liz-free scene in Liz’s section of the show (this one is, at least, related to her case). Marissa and Maia head down to the 22nd, where everyone’s talking and dancing and there’s music blasting. It is a much more exciting scene than the 23rd. But Marissa and Maia don’t join the party: instead, they discuss algorithms.

Nancy, who has now practiced law in Chicago for 8 full years, literally says “I’m just a small-town girl from Michigan.” I’m going to take that as a shout-out to the fans.

Liz’s son is throwing a ball against the wall, repeatedly, and driving Lucca crazy. She tells him it’s annoying. And because Lucca as a Parent is a THEME, we get to see Lucca interacting with a child (and, of course, Lucca’s reactions to her interactions with a child).

“And would you consider state-mandated testing to be a subjective data point?” the mediator asks. I don’t know if I would call it subjective but I would call it a terrible metric! (But I’m ahead of the episode. The minute I heard state-mandated testing I was ready to rant about testing practices and the costs of teaching to a test. I’m a little shocked that Liz didn’t go there immediately.)

Lucca dared Malcolm to make something out of paperclips, and now he’s totally caught up in crafting a paperclip zombie. Awww. My favorite detail about this scene is that Liz picks up a paperclip to help her son with his project, even as she’s still thinking about her case.

Liz realizes something: Malcolm’s score on the state-mandated test went down when he had a better teacher. He got a 92 last year, and a 73 this year. I assume those are percentages, not percentiles? I don’t recall much about these exams, but aren’t these sorts of things usually scored by percentile and not accuracy? Oh, my God, why do I care?

Tbh, this is just making me really grateful for my own education. I didn’t get a single letter grade or percentage based grade until I was 10 or 11 (maybe on a math test before that?), and grades didn’t “count” until 6th grade. We also weren’t ever assigned homework until 3rd grade. I have some complaints about my (private) elementary school, but I think that system worked well. We could learn without the fear of failing an exam. And while I’m sure I would’ve done just fine if I’d had grades when I was a kid (I love structure and I always have), I bet it really helped the kids who don’t test well.

What I’m saying is, and I’m probably preaching to the choir, teaching to a test, particularly a state-mandated standardized test that will determine staffing and funding, is a terrible idea. It doesn’t help the kids learn, it requires teachers to spend time on lessons that may not be as beneficial to their students in the long-run as something that builds critical thinking skills, and it encourages teachers to lie and cheat to keep their jobs.

Liz, Marissa, and Maia get to work going through the exams from the last few years. Maia spots the eraser marks. Of course there are eraser marks.

I wonder how many of the characters on this show (and on TGW) went to public school. My guess is that the list is pretty short.

The cheating teacher denies that she cheated. She claims the students just realized their mistake at the last minute. All of them. Repeatedly. It’s ridiculous, and Maia’s pretty persuasive. (Yay, Maia!) They still need to find proof, but it’s obvious they’re on the right track.

Kurt is in Diane’s office with some roses. Marissa texts Diane “Where r u? Kurt’s here!!” AGAIN WITH THE “WHERE R U”! Marissa would not write like that on an iPhone!!

Marissa asks Kurt, the ballistics expert, if he knows any eraser forensic experts. Not a dumb question, because such people exist! Even if Liz/Maia/Marissa end up with the wrong expert witness initially (they grab Lucca’s witness instead), eraser forensic experts exist!  

I don’t understand Maia’s wardrobe. I cannot find the words to describe her style.

When it becomes clear beyond a doubt that the tests were tampered with, all Nancy wants to know is if she can see her daughter’s test.

Liz tells Mr. Coulson the good news, but… it’s too late. He’s accepted a position at a private school that will pay more. “I still believe in public schools,” he says as he leaves. Ah, a TGW (TGF) victory.

As Liz contemplates her next move, she sees Malcolm and Lucca sharing a sweet moment. Aww.