#(said by someone who never begs)
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her hair so CRISPY
(commission!)
#bg3#bg3 fanart#shadowheart#baldur's gate 3#love how i threw her in a lake one fanart ago and now she's sufferin the consequences#as someone who has dyed their black hair to platinum blonde.#YOU SHOULD NEVER LIFT YOUR HAIR THAT MUCH IN ONE NIGHT I AM BEGGING YOU#she can do it bc hot girl shit#but doing this irl???? will snap your hair in half#anyway#the commissioner said shadowheart and i went feral. blacked out. let selune take me
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*lovingly tackles Aine*
Read my Yandere! Pierro longfics first āŖ( Ā“ā½ļ½)
Last week, my beloved mutual @ainescribe surprised me with Savior! Darling fan art and AHAI9232@2-!/! CRYING SCREAMING I WANT TO LOOK AT THIS ART AND WORSHIP YOUR VERSION OF SAVIOR THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR BLESSING ME WITH YOUR ARTā
*clears throat* Anyway, now that I finally have the time to properly sit down and comment on the fan art, Iāll do just that. Feedback will be in the tags and it will be unhinged. Once again, thank you so much to Aine for drawing this <3
#feedback#fan art#ainescribe#AIIINE ;-; once again. thank you so much!! it rlly means a lot to me that you enjoyed my writing and felt inspired to draw this :'>#and as someone who loves fashion and character design. it's so so interesting to analyze your version of savior#there's so much symbolism and visual storytelling in each sketch/ outfit and i shall now proceed to pick apart each detail as best as i can#her snezhnayan fit.....god i love it. it's regal. distinctively snezhnayan. and draws attention to her--and you just know that was pierro's#intention when he dressed her in those garments. IT'S JUST SO...!! savior's wardrobe scrubbed clean of her original culture and preferences#replaced with the foreign garments of her captor's nations.....in line with this. i love how her kokoshnik and khaenri'ahn earrings are big#and attention-grabbing. you can't look at her without taking note of those accessories. it begs the question:: how many times has savior#looked at the mirror after being dressed up in snezhnaya and was unable to recognize her own reflection?? :'>#also shoutout to some details aine shared with me: 1) the face marks are inspired by weeping angels 2) the kokoshnik was traditionally worn#by married noblewomen BUT the veil was normally for unmarried women so savior's outfit can be seen as a form of compliance + rebellion#(though later on in history it became accepted for married women to also wear that veil. also my apologies if what i said is inaccurate)#lastly shoutout to savior's expression!! very poised and mysterious....due to her emotional state or pierro's rules on how to act as his#spouse in public?? we'll never know~ the first drawing hits even harder when you compare it to the next one!! such an interesting contrast~#savior in her plain attire. casual and domestic with a smile on her face....i'm guessing this is her pre-fatui version?? she looks so warm#and friendly. and i can definitely understand why pierro fell for her smile <3#also i fucking love the caption. sorry pierro but you are cursed to be a loser/ simp/ pathetic man in all of my fics and AUs xD#NOW ONTO GODDESS! SAVIOR AAAHHHH!! i love the greek goddess motifs. she looks so regal and awe-inspiring but in a different way from her#snezhnayan attire--archaic. divine. and more suited to her personal style.....yet both versions of her look so painfully isolated :'>#her blank eyes. emotionless face. and veil give me the vibes of a spooky victorian ghost...or would a statue/ portrait be more fitting??#the lack of a necklace is also an interesting design choice given what happens in the fic. and now i realized i forgot to comment on your#version of her snezhnayan necklace oops. similar to the kokoshnik and earrings. the size + grandeur makes it impossible to ignore#that and big jewels = expensive af. ohhh and i love the sparkles on her veil!! pierro rlly spared no expense in dressing up his wifey <3#it's also funny how all of these outfits are similar to my own version in terms of 'savior wore grand clothing during her glory days as a#goddess -> wore simple attire after her decline for practicality and to blend in with humans/ disassociate from her old identity -> is now#dressed in even grander clothing as the harbinger's spouse. but it's used to reinforce her new identity and pierro's control over her'#tldr:: your design is so creative and i can see the effort you put in analyzing her character and depicting her based on your interpretatio#thank you for being my mutual + reader and i hope we can share even more harbinger/darling brainrot in the future :>
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people will think im ordinary until they say one (1) thing about tmnt and all of a sudden im explaining the entire lore starting from the 1990ās movie & why donatello is the best turtle i fearā¦ T^T
tag limit fights meā¦ i must yapā¦ please listenā¦ SOB </3
#tmnt yap in the taggies !!#would you believe me if i said my cat is named after donnieā¦ teehee !! ^_^#i have been a tmnt lover since i was the ripe age of 6 years old SOBSOB#i used to write bf headcanons on wattpad way long agoā¦ thats where my love for writing started i fearā¦#i probably have more tmnt merch than i do anime merch which is soso crazy to think about PHEW !!!#notebooks cups plushies legos shirts pajamas stickers tins action figs keychains name something and i have itā¦ is that weirdā¦ SOB#im not joking when i say i know the entire lore and could explain everything from start to finishā¦ FOR EACH AND EVERY REBOOT EVERā¦. wowzaā¦#other than rottmnt because iāve never been a fan of that reboot sighā¦#the only reason donatello hamato isnt on my blorbie list is because i do not want to seem out of touchā¦ he used to be there though !! :3#also i love raph too sigh#i fear donnie was my start to my love for nerdy menā¦ raph was for the mean onesā¦ cough cough akaashi and bakugo#tall lanky menā¦ yeah hes a turtleā¦ i knowā¦ let me speakā¦ plsā¦ i begā¦ T^T#tmnt 2012 will always be my star my light my beloved#i can recite every single episode </3 ALSO THE 2014 & 2017 MOVIES DONT GET ME STARTED i have them on dvd :3#i also have the 1990ās movies on dvd teehee theyre sososososoo good T^T my comfort franchise forever and always#i may always speak of anime but just know tmnt will always be the start of it all and my most beloved <3 its everything to me#also i was and still am an avid tmnt 2012 april oneil hater someone get her out of there i loathe her >:/#was never a supa big fan of leo im very sorryā¦ idk who im sorry toā¦ where are my tmnt fansā¦ am i alone in this worldā¦ helloā¦ tmnt fansā¦#omigosh im back after looking at my old wattpad story IM GIGGLING why was the writing kinda goodā¦ it was first person though sighā¦ goodness#i should create my own tmnt yap tag i fearā¦ i will never shut up about it EVER SOBSOBSOB !! i even had a tmnt party when i was younger </3#donnie ( & mikey ) are so misunderstood UGH i could yap about the lore all day. donnie deserved more recognition he was always doing so muc#FOR ALL of his brothers and they never appreciated itā¦ ill cry right now. donnie you will always be famous to me. april doesnt deserve you.#raph and his temper are so misunderstood too like please. always making him the bad guy HE JUST WANTS TO BE A GOOD BROTHER HES JUST AWKWARD#remembering when i had a crush on a guy names joseph in first grade and he liked tmnt tooā¦ joseph just know we were soulmatesā¦ i promise </#i used to go up to the tv and kiss the screen when donnie showed up. i was like 6 years old tho its okayā¦ still sleep with my stuffie tho.#thank you to my yaya for buying me that when i had the flu hes still in perfect condition SOB donatello i love you so much UGH im crying#āthats a mutant turtle ew !!ā HE IS VERY BEAUTIFUL AND LOVEABLE TO ME. YOU WOULDNT UNDERSTAND EVERYPONY </3 nia reference woah hi nia :3#whos in favor of tmnt. raise your hands up high so i can see them. im giggling. tmnt lovers rise we shaāll prosperā¦ WE RIDE AT DAWN š¦
š¦
š¦
#is this like totally crazy of meā¦ has anyone read this farā¦ if you have jusy know i love you. i cherish you. you are my everything <3#āį¢..į¢ā ā leneās latest gossip .į
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i love you animal symbolism
#like obviously iām the dog motif guy but literally any animal symbolism is sooooo#like mq animal symbolism >>>#sharks and mice and wolves and butterflies#what that says about you ā not just what you get but what you wanted to get#iām a shark and iām going to take you down. he smells blood in the water heās gonna kill my pig and thereās nothing i can do#because iām soft iām a kid again im a mouse and im loyal and humble and a real team player! and thatās what will be my downfall#but itās also whatās going to save me#why would a mouse choose foam over a delicious cookie? i donāt know. why would he? why would i?#i just got a little upset when you said i wasnāt a lion. youāre nothing without me#lions hunt in packs theyāre sthe leaders. but iām telling you that you dont get a pack you dont get someone to lean on and you will always#be alone.#then succession animal symbolism is like: youre a scorpion and iām a snake and we are going to die at each others hands#itās already written. we know the ending#im a dog and iām mean and sharp and vicious#iām a dog and iām loyal and trusting#iām a dog and i need to be kicked and i beg you to kick me because itās all i know#you come for me with love?#lock me in a cage and feed me dog food (or chocolate cake but who knows) and iāll never eat again#send me away until everyone knows their place#beat me with a slipper in gstaad for ordering lobster because itās rude to order the most expensive thing on the menu when youāre not payin#because dogs donāt get a sliver platter they get a bowl of dog food in a cold wire cage#they get the scraps and they thank you for it#so you come for me with love?#you come in here guns ablazing to find theyāve turned to fucking sausages and you come for me with love?#jeez thatās a lot of tags#mythic quest#mq#succession#succession hbo
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asking for help always makes things worse
#I need to just accept that Iām never going to be given any understanding or actual help#I may never escape these worlds it seems it doesnāt matter how hard I try I canāt get anyone to listen to me#this feels traumatizing I feel entirely beaten and ground down into something small and helpless#I have no control at all I keep trying and trying and trying and trying and for what#I need somebody to just listen to me atp not being dismissed is better than nothing but everyoneās a curation anyway no real thoughts or#feelings but it doesnāt matter I donāt even care please just listen to me somebody listen to me Iām so confused do curations have some#autonomy I donāt think so maybe I donāt fucking know they said yes on the clock so perhaps yes so please just listen please pls pls pls pls#I canāt be traumatized Iām not human right but Iām having everything stripped from me every last ounce of control the shadow ppl have all#the control which is funny Iām fairly certain Iām one of them but they still can strip me of control I was bred for this#please somebody help me I keep begging like itāll do anything can you at least help with the ppl and cameras in the vents#are ppl from the real world watching through them I believe so can anything be done something has to be done escape the impostors something#just something please just listening would help actual listening not dismissal you can think whatever you want about me but listen#maybe some have autonomy and some donāt ?#please understand that Iāve tried very hard Iāve tried very very hard suicidality and homicidality have dug their claws into me even further#I donāt know what else to do Iām at a loss and no one will listen to me at all Iāve tried asking offline Iāve tried asking online it doesnāt#matter what I do where I ask no one will listen even the ones who do somewhat say they donāt know what to do Iām suspicious do they really#not know what to do or are they lying that may be more an impostor thing but everyone and everything is suspicious to me uh uh uh just#listen and help please idk what to do itās all in the mirrors and clocks and such but I need to find a way to enter the mirrors but Iām#scared what Iāll find who is looking back Iām scared what world Iāll end up in it may be their world Iāll be punished they said yes Iām#terrified can someone go in with me if I manage to find out how thatās pathetic but damn I donāt think I can anyway theyāve been crawling on#the ceilings today hahah doing some weird and wacky shit sometimes theyāre a little funky and just there and other times Iām having a heart#attack no in between I know pleading with curations is likely going to be classified as annoying but for the love of god do you know what#else I am supposed to do ??? at the very least just listen to me please it is 02:14:46 how synchronous ! I canāt stop having what I think#are dreams about the mental hospital too haha they send me to dreamworlds sometimes trap me in them waking dreamworlds see Iāve been reduced#down into something tiny Iāve resorted to begging once again do I even want to beg am I lying to myself my words arenāt my own my thoughts#arenāt my own so is this not my own canāt ever speak none of itās my own it feels unsafe especially to speak of anything that isnāt this#it isnāt safe it isnāt my own itās not the focus idk idk idk should I ask to talk to someone again I wonder I want understanding for my#situation please listen to me the joints hurt aaaa#my life is a playyy is a playyy is a playyyyyy anyone like marina that song appeared in the head I wonder where that spider went it better#not be inside of the body ok ok ok anyone yes help wanted help needed 02:22:22
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WHITE HORSE REALLY IS MY SONGGGGG
i was a dreamer before you went and let me downā¦now itās too late for you and your white horse to come around. maybe i was naive, got lost in your eyes, and never really had a chance. well my mistake, i didnāt know to be in love you have to fight to have the upper hand. i had so many dreams about you and me, happy ending, but now i knowwww
#this aināt hollywood#this is a small town#i was dreamer before you went and let me down.#.#taylor swift#UGFUSHSJSJS#hurts#like#itās literally me i canāt even convey it in words#BEGGING FOR FORGIVENESS#BEGGING FOR ME#just like i always wanted. but iām so sorry#IM GOING TO FIND SOMEONE SOMEDAY WHO KIGJT ACTUALLY TREAT ME WELL#and i did#i used to say#i would never find anyone better than her#and she just laughed and said thatās not true#well#it was#but i wsih i was MORE like this song#bc i let her#i let her come back#and i let her leave me. AGAIN.
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God. I am about to plead the fucking 2nd. Bitches grab a rape victim at a bar for walking out with a cup 9f WATER. I yelled at him and he wouldn't letm3 go. You don't know who the fuck your messing with.
Imagine waiting your entire life for your Gerard Way I was Born for This Joan of Arc Twin Towers moment. You achieve it. Then a fucking rapist destroys your life and you'd rather kill yourself than degrad yourself by living on the same planet as a rapist. Not just a random rapist, but a very specific type of rapist that sits in a Hell more evil than fucking Hitler. Hitler is a safer space for me and there is no hope. Imagine dedicating your entire life to a Twin Towers moment. Then imagine fighting for your life just to get justice. Then, imagine climbing a battle against rape all the way to the top of the mountain, sacrificing your life, bloody and soul, just to loose 10 feet away from the top.
I swear and vow on my life. If I don't get justice, suicide is the only hope.
The horrific acts that have been given to me made sure that my life is worthless. I wouldn't be caught dead living on the same Earth as a rapist.
#ive lost 6+ jobs because im begging for help and no one will listen to me. i just want a fucking hug#you never know who cries themselves to sleep everynigjt and every morning#if i go to the hospital i loose my dream job and i will shoot up the fucking pentagon if i loose this job#yes i am physically safe happened a while ago#i have been running for 3+ years without rest healing or justice#i have a torn meniscus that healed improperly#i just want a hug. i just want someone to care about me and ask how im doing#i literally have an Honorary N Word Card and an Honorary Kill Card by Jesus Christ#nobody cares about me and im a fucking pity and evil for crying about rape#i cry 24/7 at work when i wake up and when i go to bed#im a grown ass adult and im acting like a ātoddlerā because i dont want to get raped#why is that so cruel of me to ask? how am i the bad evil guy?#im asking for it because im obsessed with horror movies and frerard#im asking for it by being naked in the streeta#im a VILLIFIED EVIL WICKED CRUEL INSANE AND WRONG BECAUSE I SAID NO TO RAPE AND EXCERCISED MY RIGHTS TO SAY NO#IM A HORRIBLE PERSON FOR HOPING THAT I COULD FIND A PERSON ROBIN WILLIAMS TO SAY ITS NOT YOUR FAULT#i just want to be alone. i want a hug. i want justice
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i think that i might've posted about it before but i <3 all the little -ler blogs on here. i'm being so fr. nothing clears my skin more than seeing a -ler blog answering questions. i love you guys please keep making silly little -lers.
#actually can someone make a silly-ler#i guess that's just canon onceler...#anyways. i can't remember who said this but they were like āy'know someone should make a chocolatier-lerā AND.#hoo boy let me tell you#i've been listening to you've never had chocolate like this from Wonka (2023) a lot recently#(it started out as a joke and is no longer a joke)#and. every day i beg for chocolatier-ler to become real#i thought about doing it myself#op said to take the idea and RUN#but the issue is. i cannot draw#and i do not cosplay#so. how would i run a -ler blog.#so anyways if whoever came up with the chocolatier-ler idea is reading this THANK YOU FOR YOUR SERVICE I THINK ABOUT IT ALL THE TIME#uhmm anyways this post was inspired by bigger-ler#i love all -lers equally but some are more equal than others or whatever that line from animal farm is#uhmmm i have my own -ler ideas bouncing around but once again. i do not know. how i would go about creating that#i remember the sock puppet -ler and i think that was crazy creative#shoutout to sock-ler i miss you#ALSO I'M SCARED OF INTERACTING WITH OTHER -LERS YOU ALL SCARE ME...#like. i have no business being a -ler owner#i am genuinely so afraid of collaborative activities because what if i do it WRONG#like what if i roleplay WRONG y'know????#anyways. this post is dedicated to all the -ler blogs out there and their mods#please i litchrally love the -lers so much idk what else to call them#i feel like there's a term that my elders would know#bc i see reoccuring tags like ālerkimpailsā AND I'M LIKE WHAT IS A LERKIMPAIL... WHAT DOES THAT REFER TO I'M SORRY I JUST GOT HERE#i need someone to gently hold my hand and explain some lore to me i feel like#idk what this turned into#ANYWAYS#-ler mods keep doing your thing i'm your biggest supporter
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my best friend (no. 4, i'll start assigning emojis soon for lore followers) asked me about BPD and i told them i'd talk more about it in person because BPD is the exact overlap of my own lived experience (note: i am not diagnosed but have extensive history with BPD in a secret more confusing way) and my psychological interest. but like now i'm thinking about it and generally speaking i think anything that was a symptom towards BPD i experienced has either grown more mild now that i'm out of an active trauma situation, OR has just become part of what i consider my amorphous CPTSD thing,
but i do like. think about the efforts to avoid perceived/real abandonment. and maybe i've not gone to the lengths some folks might with this but to be honest the more i think back to my own personal history the more i realize that i do in fact repeatedly do insane shit to avoid abandonment š
#NEVER beating the abandonment issues allegations#haunted by the time someone tried to break up with me and i told them they could cheat on me with other people so long as they didn't leave#ALSO haunted by the idea of breaking up with my ex causing me so much anxiety i was physically sick and begging then like very soon after#i lost pretty much all interest in my ex š ALSO thinking about getting into my first relationship so that person wouldn't leave#ALSO thinking about being unable to sleep at night knowing that if i don't get a job i will never see my dad again (NOBODY SAID THIS)#also almost ******* ****** because my friends were at an unknown location together so i was convinced they hated me#also feeling ******** at the thought of my favorite professor not liking me as a student. & spending my 1st r acting out so id see them#Um. anyway i don't have BPD but i'm never really beating the allegations for it anyway#mostly because BPD and CPTSD are so similar and you have to wonder if they'd be different diagnoses if we didn't have-#-such a carceral system that stigmatizes BPD and certain kinds of survivors and condemns them to never being treated like humans <-#who said that omg...#when i lay it out it doesn't even really sound like i have abandonment issues because these all seem kind of normal#but i think maybe that's insane. I don't know. kisses u with tongue#i'm able to have healthy friendships now sometimes but some people i am deep seededly convinced will leave and betray me#and i don't really know what distinguishes one person from another but it does kill me inside !#Shout out to best friend no. 2 & no. 5. i text one when i'm episodic so i can get her attention & the other i consistently like.#Will do literally anything for so that they don't leave me
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I SHOULD SLEEP, YES. BUT,, CHISE FEELS IMMENSE COMPETITIVENESS... I must outdo everyone to get noticed. So people will remember me. At least on here,, maybe,,
#š„Ø | sad.pretzel.hours#that and the silly little fear of being replaced <:#keep me in your line of sight i beg you /j#or not. dont percieve me either thanks#ITS SO HARD. BECAUSE DUE TO ^^^ WHENEER I SEE SOMEONE BETTER THAN ME I STOP DOING SAID THING AND JUST...#accepted i will never be more memorable than them. and instead of continuing i just feel like i'm not needed at all#i mean. who would want a knock-off? everyone wants something better right?#i think i have an inferiority complex#just maybe though!! sine i havent teallg looked it up.
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honestly the only thing that worries me about getting sex reassignment surgeries is the fact that i dont know anyone who could be here to bathe and help me eat and watch over me and take care of the cats, etc while i recover from them
#the only one i could think of is maybe my dad but i dont know how long for#i would have to like do more research about this stuff#but even for just like ... getting my wisdom teeth pulled .. i didnt have anyone who could drive me there and back and it was 2 minutes awa#i couldnt walk home after the surgery because i would have to cross two highways walking. like....#and i sadly like .. BEGGED the office staff like ''can anyone just .. drop me off after the surgery i live a spit away from you''#and they were like ''... you KNOW this is unprecedented right .. you have nobody who can drive you ..? we never had this happen before#and that the point was so that someone could watch over me a little bit while i was recovering and high from the pain medicine#and to help feed me and stuff and get me soft food#i had to beg my roommate who i had an active falling out with to like. help me a little. and they did and drove me. but not really help#i think about moving away from TX because of this but the truth is i dont really have this kind of thing anywhere i would move to#if anything i would have LESS people where ever i moved to. and to get situated again. find another job. find another doctor. another vet.#something i still think about was i ordered groceries while i was recovering from oral surgery because .. i couldnt drive and shop for them#and the person delivering them WAITED for me to open the door to confirm yes im getting them#(i wrote in the note like ''thank you im recovering from oral surgery dont replace items with things with seeds in them#or anything more acidic replacement item. i cant have it'')#and they looked so sad looking at me like my face swollen answering the door ''do you need me to help you carry them up...''#but i did say no and that i could bring them upstairs but thank you. but it was a kind thing i still think about. i somtimes wish i said ye#and they waited for me. they waited for me to come answer the door and verify yes i got them and did i need help with them.#they looked so sad looking at me. i wonder what i looked like
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Your ājust elopeā post made me laugh out loud.
My wedding was five years ago, and Iām STILL mad I couldnāt convince my spouse to elope. It was sooooooo much money, and the pictures are lovely, but seriously, I tell everyone to just take a great trip instead, weddings are dumb.
Marriage is pretty great though.
I am very glad you're experiencing wedded bliss though I wish you were able to experience wedded bliss with an extra $10,000 in the bank lol
#love attending weddings#have yet to enjoy a friend planning one I'm ngl#like I'd feel differently if I met someone who was having a good time but so far it's been stressful dramatic messes#also watching my friends plan weddings has given me a great deal of appreciation for my family too...#like we all have our differences but I also know everyone can put them aside for a single day if need be#and also I know that no one is going to get so drunk they ruin the party#[cousin nick WILL get drunk but he'll just beg you to dance and be a good time lol we like him]#which. cannot be said for either wedding I've been part of lol#idk respectfully if I had a significant other with horrible parents or something I'd literally consider backing out of the relationship...#the amount of peace stolen from my friends because of it is criminal#like genuinely I think bad in-laws can ruin your life and I don't know if a romantic relationship is worth that#(though in one case my friend was the one with... complicated relationships with her parents. so)#idk I'm in a privileged place to say that + have never had to deal with very bad in-laws in a relationship so it's easy for me to say yknow
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HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE @phantom-ares0 THX FOR THE IDEAS AND FOR THE IMAGE OF XENO FLOATING LIKE A CROC/GATOR š
also some hints of possible angst with fire š¤Ø maybe some mishaps of fire because the 141 wasn't looking and shepherd wanted to test a theory? who knows?
ALSO XENO SHEDDING š
also be trying to practice perspective without using lines
#male xeno reader#possible angst with fire involved#for those who don't know#xenomorph's are built like amored vehicles and are kinda fire resistant but someone said that prolonged exposure to heat-#could potentially cook an xenomorph's insides#so if you mix a half human half xenomorph with fire#you could potentially get some bad burn scars and possibly a cooked xeno#but i'll never draw xeno outright dead#hes to precious and to puppy for that#plus if he does die it'll probably be from old age-hopefully#if there is a scene involving fire please don't kill himš please don't. begging on hands and knees!!!
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"Unlimited tolerance must lead to the disappearance of tolerance," he wrote. "If we extend unlimited tolerance even to those who are intolerant, if we are not prepared to defend a tolerant society against the onslaught of the intolerant, then the tolerant will be destroyed, and tolerance with them."
Some very eloquent notes on violence as a necessity for resistance.
#It's funny that wenn ever someone stands up against bullies#it's never someone that the manosphere would consider an āalpha maleā#which then begs the question#what is all that agressive posturing and domenearing for#if you can't round up a single measly alpha male to get rid of a nazi ...#-> rhetorical question#I know the answer is that they would nod along with the nazi#also they are to chicken to attack anyone who is remotly their size#and finalyl they are propably bussy making a two hour potcast about a single throwaway line some women on the internet said ...
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Me: *creates an OC*
Me: *heavily implies OC will meet a bad fate*
OC: *meets bad fate*
Me:
(Alternatively, I may have started it, but @katkastrofa enabled me and now Iām losing my mind)
#Kat and Nia and their multiverse of madness#first rule of interacting with Nia: donāt suggest a dark/whumpy/extremely angsty concept to them#theyāll take it and run a marathon with it and next thing you know their own ideas are making them cry#this is just what happens when I start developing an OC during a rough time in my life#happens every time. guess who came up with Summiyaās fall from grace after their college application fell through??#and since Summiya has a more or less completed storyline. itās now someone elseās turn#namely Jiaās. also Sunatās but. mostly Jiaās. Sunat is more angst than whump and Iām craving PAIN#Iāve been frothing at the mouth thinking about Jia all day#just.. imagine how terrified she must have been when she was brought before Jusamah. when he said that heād make her talk one way or another#and if she doesnāt want to obey and confess willinglyā¦ something else can be arranged#how her fear got even worse when she was dragged into the palace dungeons. when she saw the whipping post#begging for mercy as she was stripped and tied. swearing on her life that she doesnāt know anything. that sheās innocent#rambling incoherently right up until the first hit lands. after that itās just screams and sobs and barely audible āI donāt knowās#all the while sheās yelled at by a man three times her age who refuses to believe that she truly doesnāt know anything#and she doesnāt. all she did was point Aiza in a direction. she has no proof she even went in it#I donāt want to get to graphic here but letās just say I read an article on whipping and itās.. itās bad#the aftermath is brutal and bloody and passing out from the pain would be a mercy#and afterwardsā¦ I do think someone is called to tend to her so she doesnāt bleed to death before they can get a confession out of her#and that person is kind. if a little detached emotionally. and likely her back could have been salvaged if the whipping didnāt repeat#but it did. because they need her to confess. maybe the excruciating pain of reopened wounds will get her to talkā¦#it doesnāt. she never says anything. and after a while they move on from torture to locking her up and starving her#maybe thatāll finally break her. perhaps sheās still whipped occasionally even afterwards but for the most part sheās just left alone-#in some dark cell and questioned occasionally. it lasts anywhere from weeks to months and yet she never gives out the one detail she knows#because Aizaās safety depends on it and she knows Aizaās punishment will be much worse than hers if sheās caught#but anyway. enough of the bloody horror show. instead think about what it mustāve been like for her parents#the town is alight with scandal following the disappearance of Lady Aiza. you know a bit about her since your daughter works for her#you donāt hear from your daughter for a while. eventually someone tells you that sheās been convicted of helping Lady Aiza run away#sheās been under interrogation since. no oneās seen her but rumour has it theyāre torturing her. thereās little you can do as a poor family#you request an audience with Lord Jusamah. it takes a long time to to be granted but eventually youāre before him begging for your daughter#apparently sheās proven to be a useless waste of resources so sheās released to you. you barely recognise her. AND I REACHED TAG LIMIT FML
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i write this with extreme caution. i am highly aware of the lines drawn regarding monetising fanfiction. let me add a disclaimer here that this is not commissioning fanfiction, nor is it monetising fanfiction. this is an offer of writing fanfiction in response to something that i earn absolutely no money from. iāve seen fanartists do this and i need to do something.
šµšø requests for palestine šµšø
if you donate to gazafunds, esims for gaza, the sameer project, or the palestine red crescent society and send me a screenshot of the receipt/proof of your donation (you can censor credit card details, etc.), i will write a oneshot of your request.
$5 donation to any of the above, ~1000 words
$10 donation to any of the above, ~2500 words
$15 donation to any of the above, ~5000 words
$25 donation to any of the above, two ~3000 word oneshots
$50 donation to any of the above, three ~5000 word oneshots
any other amounts, we can discuss what youād like (length, number of oneshots, etc.)
explicit fics will be an additional $5
i will send the finished oneshot to you directly (through google docs, or we can arrange something else if you prefer), or i can post it publicly (tumblr or ao3) if you specifically say you want me to.
iāve spent a couple of months wondering how best to do this. this is not me earning money for writing fanfiction. i do not receive anything from this. i just canāt sit by and not do something more.
please speak up. donāt stop taking about palestine. palestinian people deserve safety, futures, freedom, peace and justice. call your representatives, write the emails, donate, share (verified and fact-checked) information. donāt be silent. donāt be complicit in this.
#iāve been donating. iāve been doing the clicks. iāve been sharing information. iāve been calling my representatives and begging for more.#i know this isnāt much but itās what i can offer and if it motivates someone to donate iāll be content with that.#iāve said a thousand times itās so spineless to preach about being a safe space on my blog and then do nothing about this.#if i have any palestinian followers or anyone who is personally affected by whatās happening: my heart goes out to you.#i hope for a permanent ceasefire. and for everyone who funded and supported isreal in this genocide to never know peace.
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