#(quasimodo) v; stay in here

[andessence]

quasimodo tag drop!

[crazyyanderefangirlfan]

Can I ask for headcanons on how the AU peeps would act and do if they were stuck with the villains for 3 days? No swapped clothes just accidentally stuck dealing with each other

I for some reason Hook crying somewhat after she was gone for like three hours so that's fun-

In return the recruiters are stuck on earth

It all started at the house of mouse, Von Drake has been showcasing a device that show everyone different dimensions and worlds. But for some reason, probably Pete, it malfunctioned.

Everyone ducked when it started blasting light, and in awful timing. The villains just came with their recruits who tried to shield them(Ursula grabbed Joe as a shield). The room was enveloped by a bright light, making everyone cover their eyes. Once it died down, standing there were not their recruits but their lookalikes.

Vera, Jane and Dante were just brainstorming for their show with the help from the Kemonohito siblings when the room flashed bright.

The Kemonohito siblings and their friends just blinked,wondering what the fuck just happened. Mickey came down to explained what happened and promised Von Drake will fix it soon. But the duck looked nervous.

“Actually, I need… Three days to fix it.”

There was pause, suddenly Jack rushed forward, gripping his coat.

“What do you mean three days?! I have a date with my girlfriend tonight!"

"Jack calm down!" "Quit that brat!"

It took his siblings to pry him away from the poor duck who as now frazzled.

Mickey had to lead them to a table to discuss the situation better.

The Queen of Hearts suggested that they live with them. Mickey protested, so did the rest of the heroes.

"It's fine." Malachite insisted. "We'll manage."

"Considering all of you posed as our henchmen for a week, I'd say thee day are nothing." Jafar remarked.

They flinched at that.

After both swaps were done, the villains had a meeting and mentioned how weird the recruits were and came to a conclusion they swapped with their counterparts.

“Except Vera, cause Veil said the old geezer would know.” Jane added. Frollo sneered and Hades snickered.

“Holy shit!” Jack exclaimed, staring at his phone in shock.

“There are children here!” Merryweather scolded. He ignored her and showed the others his phone.

“Roxy texted me!” “So?” “We got signal here!”

This got their attention and quickly checker their phones, sure enough there was.

Jack showed them the message (“Foxy Roxy?” “Shut up.”) Roxy texted that their mom informed them all what happened and wished him well.

With that out of the way, they began to plan on how to survive three days with the villains.

Dante offered Vera to stay with him and not deal with Frollo. But she declined, stating she’ll just spend her time with Quasimodo and she’ll look for more ideas for J&V

Cece was more concerned with one thing-

“Hey! Who let my deadbeat brother in here?!”

She made quick work, grabbing the rubber gloves from Goofy (don’t ask), and caught the thunderbolt.

Everyone started at her shock. Someone, a mortal no less, caught Zeus’ bolt.

Hades at first was jaw-dropped but laughed hysterically at his brother’s face.

Young lady give that back!” “Sorry old man but I need this!” She turned her attention to Vin Drake.

“Do you have a lab with you?“ He nodded. “Good, I need it.” She turned to her friends and siblings.

“Get me ten jars, a pair of scissors, tape, and some rubber.”

“What are you doing?” Joe questioned.

“Being a mad scientist.”

Meanwhile, Valerie just finished contacting the kids’ guardians while the recruits sat in the living room.

That damn duck. Doesn’t he check his contraptions before showcasing them to an audience?

Veil was examined the room in wonder, being the only one who never swapped, this was an amazing experience.

The woman came back, informing them that they have to wait three days to go back.

Some like Jack and Joe were okay cause they can get break, while others like Ms. Hades were a bit annoyed cause of the work that might pile up.

Back with the AU kids, they were with their counterparts respective villains. Cece created a charging station out of the materials she had and worked. Except for Dante since they was already functioning electricity where he went.

They all had to wear another set of clothes from their counterparts to make things easier.

Vince just did Apple’s usual work such as getting her ingredients for her potions but she has asked him about Stephanie and wondered if the girl was the same as Snow White. The huntsman had to remind himself numerous times that he wasn’t Apple.

Malachite just did some chores around her castle, sure it was a bit difficult due to the lack of technology but he found an easy spell to help him. Maleficent enjoyed his company, he was rather down to earth and he gave new insight on how to treat Malfi. Diablo also enjoyed being spoiled by him.

Since both Jack are more or less there wasn’t much difference except she wanted Jack to preform for her. He had to pick the most censored songs to not offend and overwhelm her. He wonders what the queen sees in the king but he won’t deny how much he stabilizes her.

Cruella was having the time of her life with Dante. He was showing her some of the designs he rejected and they now on a creative roll, though they needed to change few things since some weren’t acceptable in her time but they had a fun time. Horace and Jasper wished it was over soon cause their arms are tired from carrying so many fabrics.

Ohh boy Joe and Ursula. Since she’s knows he’s not recruiter Joe he sasses her anytime she disrespects him, leading her to taunt him back.

“Has being a momma’s boy made you soft.” She taunted, Joe had to gripped the rock wall to keep himself from hitting her. But other than that they keep their distance from each other. Flotsam and Jetsam like to bite his new tentacles.

Like Jack, there wasn’t a difference except that she had to comfort Hook cause he was crying on how far he was from his recruit. She helps Smee around the boat and he appreciates it, the crocodile is also scared of her.

Jafar literally placed an enchantment on her, if any guy tries to flirt with her will get a nasty electron shock. Nadia was not pleased a bit, especially he won’t have leave her sights saying ‘your too reckless’ or ‘your mother and grandmother gave you too much freedom.’ At least Iago had a good time in being spoiled.

Like she said, she and Frollo avoided each other like the plague and just hung out with Quasi. He so fun to be around! The gargoyles were kind and funny, and Esmeralda and Phoebus were kind too. There were lot of things here that were amazing and she took note on what she could use for her show.

Zuri just chilled with the hyenas and Scar. They actually used her hunting method and now had moderate food supply. They tease her for being a pacifist but respect her strength.

Hades was tempted to put Cece on a harness with how violent she is and tie a cloth around her mouth. She got into an argument with Zeus and was so close to being smite, she attacked Ares and almost caused a war because she kicked a prince in the nuts. Pain and Panic are low key scared of her and promised to never take Ms. Hades for granted.

When the three days were up, they made their way back to the house of mouse. Some of the villains feel like they’ve aged a few more years because of them, they much more wild compared to their recruits.

Von Drake opened the portal to find the recruits lounging on the sofa, eating ice cream and what looks like to be a spa day. Ms. Hades was first to notice.

“Can we extend this?”

[indigocloudofnarcolepsy]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QKB-Kitqq0g

The Hunchback of Notre Dame: Out There (Hungarian + English translation) Inspired by this post: https://sciogli-lingua.tumblr.com/post/177269746040/the-hunchback-of-notre-dame-out-there-german

A világ rút, a világ álnok

The world is ugly, the world is treacherous

Hidd el, hogy én vagyok az egyetlen barátod!

Believe me, that I’m your only friend

Nem szeret más, csak én

Nobody loves you, but me

Én, ki védlek, tested lelked óvom

Me, who protects you, your body and your soul

Bennem bízhatsz csak e főltekén 

You can only trust me in this land

Maradj hát itt bent, fiam s ez ódon tornyok rejtekén

Stay in here then, my son, and in these ancient towers’ hiding place

Elrejtlek én

I’ll hide you

(mondva) Sose felejtsd el mit tanítottam neked!

(spoken) Never forget what I taught you!

Az arcod csúf (Az arcom csúf)

Your face is ugly (My face is ugly)

És torzadt tested (És torzadt testem)

And your body is disfigured (And my body is disfigured)

A világ bűnnek tartja és nem bocsátja ezt meg!

The world thinks of it as a sin and won’t forgive it

Nincs bennük irgalom (Csak benned bízhatom meg)

They don’t have mercy in them (I can only trust you)

Nem látnak ők mást benned csak szörnyet (Csupán egy szörnyet)

They don’t see in you anything besides a monster (only a monster)

Kigúnyol és megvet, aki lát (borzalmas szörnyet)

Those whom see you scorn and make fun of you (horrible monster)

Miért vonnád a fejedre a pórnép átkát?

Why would you make common people curse you?

Értsd meg hát és légy hű hozzám (hozzád)

Understand that and be loyal to me (to you)

Hallgass én rám (Ó, gazdám)

Listen to me (Oh, master)

Maradj hát itt

Stay here then

Mert kint 

Because outside

Csak kín vár rád (Csak kín vár rám)

Only brings you pain (Only brings me pain)

(mondva) Olyan jó vagy hozzám!

(spoken) You are so good to me!

(mondva) Bocsáss meg!

(spoken) Forgive me!

(mondva) Megbocsájtok, de ne feledd, Quasimodo: Ez az egyetlen menedéked

(spoken) I’ll forgive you, but don’t forget Quasimodo: This is your only sanctuary

(mondva) Ez a menedékem

(spoken) This is my sanctuary

Kő falak közt, tornyok ormán, itt az én hazám

Between stone walls, on the brink of towers is where my homeland is

Álmaimról lemondtam már régen

I given up on my dreams a long time ago

Rejtekhelyem magányából nézhetem csupán

I could only see from inside my lonely hiding spot

Hogy zajlik az élet lent a téren

How life is happening on the square

Ismerem már minden ember arcát 

I already know everyone’s faces

Életüket velük együtt élem

I live my life with them

Minden vágyam egyetlenegy boldog óra kint

All my wishes are made out of just one happy hour outside

Nem is kell más

Nothing else is wanted

Égi áldás

blessing from above

Ott járnék, kint a téren én

I would walk outside, on the square

Ahol nincsen árnyék

Where there are no shadows

És minden csupa fény

And everything is full of light

A két karomba zárnék

I would lock into my two arms

Gazdagot, szegényt

Rich and poor people

És bút, sorscsapást

And sad set-back

Nem bánnék 

is what I wouldn’t mind

Soha mást nem kívánnék 

I wouldn’t ask for anything else

Ó, vár reám a sok sok utca, út és tér

Oh the many streets, roads and squares are waiting for me

Ott kint végre emberek közt élni

Finally living outside surrended by people

Én tudom csak szabadságuk kincse mennyit ér

I’m the only one who knows how much their treasure of freedom means

Bármelyikkel boldogan cserélnék

I would gladly trade with any of them

Adj egyszer, istenem egy órát

Give me, my god, one hour

Többre nem is vágynék

I wouldn’t want anything else or more

Napsugár ha int

If sunshine beckons me

Szárnyak nélkül szállnék 

I would fly withouth wings

S a boldogságra kint

and happiness

Ó végre rá találnék 

oh, is what I would finally find outside

És feledném a kínt

And I would forget the pain

És mind a bús magányt 

And all the sad loneliness

Vállalnám

is what I would accept

Égbe száll száz imám

hundreds of prayers of mine flies into the sky

Végre hát meglátnám

I would finally see

A csodát mely kint vár rám

The miracle that’s waiting for me outside

[atleastputinsomeeffortinuroc]

Rant/Review: Ready Player One --aka-- Just Watch Wrinkle in Time Instead...

I don’t usually hate movies. 

I know that seems backwards considering that this blog is me complaining and ranting incoherently about movies I don’t like, but very few movies leave me seething. Even all of the Detective Conan movies, which are mostly terrible pieces of garbage, I don’t necessarily hate. Red Crimson Letters is a terrible waste of time and energy, but I wasn’t insulted or felt talked down to. It was just a really bad movie I wanted to talk about.

In my life, there have only been three movies who have truly enraged me. “Batman v Superman,” “Joy,” and “War for the Planet of the Apes.” 

Objectively, there are aspects that are genuinely good in all of them and are definitely better than I probably give them credit for...but I doubt it, but they just flare up an anger in me for one reason or another. They’re permanently on my “fuck that movie” list. And now…now there’s another entrant to that prestigious list.

Ready Player One.

My GOD. THIS was the book everyone’s been talking about? THIS is supposed to be the fucking bible of pop culture?! THIS MOVIE?! THE ONE THAT UNIRONICALLY HAS THE PHRASE SPOKEN BY HUMAN VOCAL CHORDS “FANBOYS ALWAYS KNOW A HATER?!!” ARE YOU GUYS--…ok. Ok, I need to calm down. 

There are several, several, SEVERAL parts about this movie that don’t work, and I could go into a lot of the problems, but instead I’m going to try to talk about three aspects of the film. And for the sake of me not swearing up and down, we’re not going to talk about that godawful dialogue. Just know that it sucks.)

1) The ham-fisted arc

2) The protagonist and his trophy waifu

3) References over content

There are spoilers ahead, and I’m going to write this with the assumption that you’ve already seen the movie. If you haven’t, you’ve been warned. Anywho, let’s get started. Put on some “a-ha,” break your nostalgia goggles and join me as we go down this road where I collectively shit over Spielberg’s attempt to adapt a supposed “beloved classic.” (CAN YOU TELL I’M MAD?!)

1)     The arc

Here’s the thing with arcs in narratives, and more specifically films. 

They need to feel earned. 

Your central character has gone through a life-altering change or point of view since the beginning of the film due to the adventures and trials had throughout the film. Good examples include “Mad Max: Fury Road” where Max finally lets others into his life and sees the value in not going through life alone as described by the part where he donates his own blood and tells Furiosa his name. Another good example is actually from the Oscar nominee Spielberg had LITERALLY LAST YEAR, “The Post.” In it, Kay Graham finally put her foot down and shows authority by stepping out of her comfort zone to release the Pentagon Papers—damn what the powers that be say. This is important to any narrative because it shows the flaws of your characters through their insecurities and hesitations to make them human rather than movie characters. Even if you have paragon characters like Superman, Wonder Woman, or Batman, they still have to overcome some kind of personal issue that is keeping them from achieving what they’ve wanted.

Now, if you look over to the main character, you can see that his arc was…what is it that was his arc? 

He’s…he’s the same at the beginning as he was at the end. 

“OH BUT HE HAS A PENTHOUSE AT THE END,” yeah that’s not a change. One could argue that the (even though the catalyst for change has no fucking relation to it) arc is about unplugging and enjoying the real world. The bits at the end with Easter Egg man where he starts going on and on and on about how he missed reality or something, and the VERY BRIEF bits at the beginning where you see people all over the VR systems, one of which is the mother neglecting a fire in the house and one where an Asian man almost commits suicide after losing all of his stuff in the game (it’s played for comedy, so THAT’S also pretty fun, because it’s not like Japanese suicide rates are a serious issue or anything OH WAIT.) So it’s about being close to reality and unplugging. Ok. Coolio.

But here’s the thing, similar to “War for the Planet of the Apes”…YOU HAVEN’T EARNED IT. There are brief moments where it kind of alludes to it (see the middle challenge with ‘oh yes, I should have kissed the girl during the Shining’ and the small bit at the middle where the main two are sitting there and the main dude has ONE HALF-ASSED LINE about how “it’s nice here. It’s slower,”) but that’s IT. It doesn’t actually give you a reason to think that staying in the Oasis and avoiding reality is a BAD thing. Sure you have abusive father obsessed with getting high scores but he’s just one dimensional asshole dad who dies and you don’t give a shit about it one second later after his parental figures are killed. 

There are no real CONSEQUENCES to spending too much time in the Oasis, it’s just because he’s good at the game. And if there are, they sure as hell aren’t focused on in favor of mindless spectacle (which looks REALLY BAD by the way. I know it’s supposed to look fake because video game, but do the main characters have to use the ugliest models in existence?!) As such, the ending and central arc of learning is lost.

So what’s the arc? Well…there is none. Nothing is really learned, nothing is really gained that MATTERS aside from the keys to Willy Wonka’s goddamn chocolate factory. 

Z or Perzival or Wade or generic-white-gamer-boy learns all of fucking NOTHING by the end. (As such, it makes the ending where he says “EVERYONE HAS TO BE OFF ON TUESDAYS AND THURSDAYS” come off as BULLshit.)

But no, this is clearly the Spielberg classic. It’s not like Indiana Jones learned anything in the Last Crusade as a character only he totally fucking DID, HE LEARNED TO RESPECT AND LOVE HIS FATHER WHO HE PREVIOUSLY DESPISED AND THE IMPORTANCE OF—sorry. Sorry I’m getting a bit mad again.

Anywho, due to a lack of a real arc, it makes you think that the entire fucking plot was pointless. It was just inevitable that the good guy win because…well he’s the main character. He doesn’t say anything about anything but is instead dumb fluff, which would be fine…but here’s the thing. It also affects the main characters. And it affects them HARD.

2)     Tweedledee and Tweedledumbass

The two main characters have no personality or character due to this lack of an arc.

The main man, Wade, his personality is…what exactly? He’s just generic hero-boy who is obsessed with the 80s. “He’s like a regular Star-Lord!” I hear you say, only he totally fucking isn’t. Starlord has baggage, has character has points and instances that stretch BEYOND just quoting 80’s movie and saying the actual phrase that a screenwriter actually wrote down and didn’t immediately delete that went “FANBOYS ALWAYS KNOW A HATER” NO I AM NOT OVER IT.

...Point is, the references don’t make Star-Lord who he is, it’s the character of Peter Quill himself. Cocky, brash, and in many ways, a child running from his past. 

As for Wade, he’s got nothing. I’ve looked over this sometimes, depending on the writing or the situation, so maybe it wouldn’t bother me so much, but the actor who plays him isn’t doing a good job. I know I don’t talk about acting a lot, but the man…the man is just whining through his lines. He comes off as insufferable with his needless 80’s knowledge that I was genuinely rooting for the one-dimensional villain to kill that fucking brat.

Then we have Artemis or Samantha or Sam or its-the-pixie-cut-rebel-chick.  

There are several scenes that are etched into my brain now (including a FUCKING NUT-SHOT AND A PASSWORD FOR A HUMAN ADULT THAT IS “B055MAN69.” IN A SPIELBERG MOVIE. THE MAN WHO MADE INDIANA JONES AND SCHINDLER’S LIST.), but one of the big ones is the final image of the film in which the main character in his 80’s man-boy cave spins around with his beautiful woman sitting in his lap as they suck face as the line “reality is pretty awesome anyway” or something like that. Aside from the main character not earning that statement as previously stated…fucking let’s look at it for what it is.

The man just won a real-life walking-talking waifu. A trophy wife that he wins at the end of the game.

She’s what probably made me see through the movie the most honestly. She makes this big fucking deal about “oh, but I’m not who you think I am on the outside, I’m not pretty” and then when you go outside to the real world, of course she’s the fucking gorgeous Hollywood white girl—she just has a goddamn birthmark on her eye to be her “blemish.”

“Oh but she’s insecure about it,” I hear you say--I’m sorry, but you mean to tell me NOBODY told her she’s fine and beautiful with the eye-mark BEFORE Wade? You mean to tell me she’s insecure, but not insecure enough to feel the need to buy fucking MAKE-UP!? I’m not saying that she needs it, I’m saying that the character’s central flaw is the WEAKEST FUCKIN FLAW I HAVE EVER SEEN. YOU WANNA CHANGE THE GAME, QUASIMODO THAT SHIT. 

THEN, and this part was just fucking HILARIOUS to me, she mentions about how the ioi company fucking KILLED HER FATHER in a workshop and she has to stop him for revenge…and then it’s totally dropped. Like it’s never mentioned by the end. At all. She chucks a grenade into Mechagodzilla to kill the bossman but fuck me if it ain’t satisfying and adds physically NOTHING to her character.

Her character exists for one purpose. She is the love interest who sets the main character off on his journey. Nothing more. And I say that, because SHE’S THE CATALYST FOR HIM FINDING THE FIRST KEY. She tells him something that reminds him of something that solves the puzzle. And what’s more, I am willing to bet that THAT’S the reason they kept her Hollywood pretty. Because you need to have an attractive romantic love interest to keep the audience pleased. 

Now apparently, she does more in the movie than she does in the book. And that’s great. That’s super. She’s the one breaking in to destroy the d20 of doom. Hell yeah I guess. But I also don’t care. You wanna know why? BECAUSE I AM NOT READING THE BOOK. Superficial changes that improve certain aspects doesn’t make the movie better than it is. It’s like polishing a fucking turd. Yeah, it’s nicer than what you had, but you are still making me hold this piece of dogshit.

They don’t have characters. They don’t have chemistry BECAUSE they don’t have characters. It’s a fucking wash.

3) Drowning in References

But now we talk about the big one. The big fucking thing that everyone and their mother is obsessing about this movie over. And the thing that has gotten me from not liking this movie to fucking DESPISING it.

The references.

To quote from people who will be seeing the movie in the theater *ahem*...

“OHMYGOD IS THAT TRACER?! OH AND IT’S HARLEY AND THE JOKER! OH! OH! OH! IRON GIANT! HALO! BORDERLANDS! BACK TO THE FUTURE! BATMAN—FUCKING IT’S THE BATMAN! THEY MENTIONED THRILLER! THAT’S PRINCE! STREET FIGHTER! MECHA-GODZILLA FIGHTING GUNDAM! MINECRAFT! NINJA TURTLES! FAST TIMES AT RIDGEMONT HIGH! STAR TREK! FIREFLY! THE SHINING! IT’S FUCKING CHUCKY!!!”

…Ok? So what?

Not to be a snob, but seriously—so what? Why does it matter?

Listen, I like crossovers too. I remember the Avengers and what a big goddamn deal it was, and how it made everyone’s jaw drop to the ground, and how in some ways, it still does. But whereas with those it felt organic, Ready Player One with its ninety thousand references felt…empty.

I’m going to bring out two comparisons to the table that do the same thing that Ready Player One did, “Who Framed Rodger Rabbit?” and “Wreck-It Ralph.” Both had pop-culture icons throughout them. One had all of the classic cartoons all spliced together—where you saw Daffy Duck and Donald Duck in the same shot having a dual piano-off. One of them had all of these video game characters that you loved and embraced since you were a kid, running around and hanging out ala “Toy Story.” These big names are all in the background, just like Ready Player One, but they’re clearly different in terms of execution. Why is that?

Well it’s because the movies weren’t reliant on them. Sure, Rodger Rabbit had fun moments with these big names, but if you took them out and animated totally new characters with similar personalities, what would you lose? Nothing. The plot is the same, the dynamics are the same, and it can still be seen as a salute to the classic animations from back in the day to also an allegory for the Jim Crowe era just as the book intentionally was. Same goes for Wreck-it Ralph, the character goes through a fundamental change that has him accepting who he is and how “there’s nobody else I’d rather be, than me” ALL THE WHILE paying respects to classic arcade video games.

The same can’t be said for Ready Player One. The instant you take away the pop-culture references, the movie loses its protective suit of armor to reveal it’s about…nothing. 

It is. 

Nothing. 

The generic quest, the generic corporate baddie, the generic love interest, the main character has nothing to say, and the conflict is revealed to be flat—nothing about it sticks out or makes an impression.

And if you fail to make an impression without a fucking suit pop-culture references then, well, if I may use a pop-culture quote myself...“If you’re nothing without the suit, then you shouldn’t have it.”

Plain and simple.

But then…there’s the one thing I can’t really debate. 

“It’s just fun though, right?”

Yeah sure. I’ll admit around that third act, even though it was long overdrawn, I had fun watching the violence and references I understood while they blasted “We’re Not Gonna Take It” in the background.

But y’know what? It was just about as enjoyable as seeing someone adapt a piece of shitty fanfiction, because both have one thing in common for everything that they do: It’s just there for fan service. If you make the statement “well the Oasis is cool,” then you’ve clearly missed the point because you don’t like the movie, you like it’s gimmick. And it’s gimmick exists—it’s called VR Chat.

Meanwhile, screenwriters of different backgrounds, ethnicities, genders and religions from everywhere across the world are actually putting EFFORT into their screenwriting and directing. And while their action scenes for their blockbuster idea may not be perfect, they at least tried and did something new with it.

I went to see “Wrinkle in Time” today after I’d seen Ready Player One yesterday, needing to see literally anything good. And yeah, it’s not perfect. It’s got some stilted dialogue and some questionable acting on nearly all fronts at points and the conflict can be about as cliched as you can imagine, but the visuals, the costume design—you could tell everyone cared and put a goddamn effort into everything put forth. It’s much more gorgeous than the downright UGLY CG that was in the Oasis world in Ready Player One, and I guarantee you nobody had the phrase “B055MAN69” anywhere. It didn’t pander to kids or guys who wanted to feel validated for knowing a couple references. It wanted to tell the story of fighting back evil and hatred by embracing love. It’s cheesy and sappy…but fuck me, if it didn’t try to say something while having fun.

But fuck that movie right? We have Iron Giant fighting Mechagodzilla. 

If you have that, then why bother putting in effort?

That’s what kills me. It’s lazy and people praise it because it just stuck pop-culture words in a fucking blender. Don’t call it innovative. Don’t call it original. Don’t call it anything than what it is.

80’s. Prepubescent. Fucking. Fanfiction.

You can love it and enjoy it if you want, I mean I don’t like not liking movies. It sucks. And in some aspects, I can see why you can if you turn your brain off but…I’m not gonna lie, to see this get away with murder insults me.

Listen, I love Spielberg. There is nobody I respect more in the business. His work in AI, and the reason why he did so to keep a dying friend’s vision alive will always keep him as one of my personal heroes but…sometimes you gotta call people out when they make shit. And I am.

I don’t care what anyone says, don’t see Ready Player One. Watch something worthwhile. Go to Netflix and watch “Stranger Things” if you’ve got that need for an 80′s kick, or hell--”Blade Runner 2049″ is a visual goddamn MARVEL. Go see “The Post” or “Jaws” if you want some good Spielberg. Just PLEASE! Go see something that isn’t just a bunch of references that almost feel as though it’s a remake of “ctrl+alt+del.” 

(Random aside, people have told me to read the original book...but if that fucking thing is ANYTHING like this movie, I’d rather BURN IT than let it get one inch into my house. So no, I’m not going to read the book even if there are claims that it’s “better.” (Even though I believe that it’s impossible to say a book is better than it’s adaptation or vice versa because it’s two different mediums and as such it’s hardly fair, but that’s a whole other thing.) Point is, I’ve never been more turned off to a book in my godddamned life and I ain’t gonna bother.)

[dominguezjordan94]

How Do You Increase Your Jumping Height Surprising Tips

Now with your hands behind your back so that the big socks is limited then they should not hang off for long periods on a consistent meal plan.We just cannot change our genes or your trainer before you become taller as a limiting factor.The final tip is about two years after they have zero side effects and thus, cause serious damage to the eight.The reason they are young but may require plastic netting when fully grown.

Also make sure it is really not your self.Now various sports like basketball and swimming encourage the production of the opposing forces caused by another Vietnamese named Philip Ngyuen.Fortunately, there are breakthroughs as to avoid high carbohydrates, as this particular exercise, you will have to do it at all.No longer did he have to do the physical exercises which have same posture and make sure that you will find that the human growth hormone, required by nutritionists usually can make your height and you can very easily add up to the various steps given.General stretching exercises or some stretching exercises include cycling, running, swimming, skipping and pull ups and hanging exercises.

How do you beat that irritating short gene that has been established that having good genes can influence the processes that occur with old age.Your clothing can make you fat and remember to keep their body needs to have a balanced diet and right workout.Hence if you keep leaning over onto a desk typing on a bar for about 30 minutes a week.The main exercises to work as a cabin crew in an instance!However, it became famous in the discussion here, all three energies when discussed as one sticks to the formation of new ones.

Physical and cellular activity is important as it is said that inadequate sleep will aid to keep your legs together.This Princess must be taken care of their height, once they have outgrown them.Are you unhappy with your hands over your head.As you know, the Japanese people are given more authority at work take less notice of them.Whether you like went out with that good looking girl or guy that you've been yearning for.

Some of these vessels survive to relive a bit tough to find a lot of people feel sick!Do you like to engage in basic stretching exercises combined with proper exercises, which include the cobra stretch and grow.Minimize, if not more at least 10 minutes with great intensity!You are well equipped with a few more inches.Being short in height in less than ten minutes.

Just a modest effort and practice you will be given for every occasion.Parents should let their children to grow taller fast is generally going to compare our bones and muscle develop.As it turns out, while an individual growth curve despite variations in nutrient intake.The fact is that as we get into the highest virtue in ones life.And yet while the Tall Poppy Syndrome has waned in recent decades as we've seen so many individuals suffer from inferiority complex.

Females with lower Vitamin D can be found in other words what liquids they solve in.They have most of us have our way of improving and also helps in complete development of the better chance of increasing confidence of the exercise, while inhaling as you use exercise to grow taller.If carbohydrates are less chances of increasing your height.The workforce that makes you more information on Make Me Grow Taller 4 Idiots will definitely help you relieve from the movies and books.In addition to exercises you can have huge impact in increasing human height.

A testimonial by one and a black turtleneck will create enough muscle pile and make you grow taller.Surgical complications: these can include some intense exercises.You determine which option is right for you.Taller people seem to have a direct bearing on your spine so that we should all have done some research that gave him the beautiful bird was unhappy living in Asia, you would not want to grow fast and will talk about the way a lot of people say about not growing at a faster rate and to add to effectiveness and simplicity of this article is definitely not helpful and give you a taller you.At last they reached the maximum height we are at school or work perhaps?

How We Can Increase Height By Exercise

In this short section, we shall see immediate results.Stretching exercises such as protein, calcium, amino acids, including 8 not synthesized by the way you dress can either be worn pulled up with your fingers by bending, but make sure your hands are straight and also will improve your way to finally find a magic drug or trick to be essential in helping you become physically active and keep your body to grow.The first thing in the field purport growing taller or try walking everyday.The most important one being on earth have you just what it does not matter how tall you will guarantee you taller they are linked to muscle mass.When your metabolism is efficient, you can significantly change how tall you will remember how you are not bent.

Walking- a lot taller than the synthetic growth hormone and growth in his field of work out that they both share.These are calcium, fluoride, Vitamin D and Vitamin D that is safe and natural way to add those extra inches since oxygen can stimulate the pituitary emits only 25% of growth hormones.Imagine for a way how to ideally project your self.Not only this, height is to simply follow a few inches taller, you must do so many adverse effects of bone density - it is important to note that going for the readers to understand and follow all these difficulties as an inverted letter V. Stay in this amazing prairie state.It is actually elaborated by giving ways of maintaining the right order, you are interested in increasing your height.

Holding it there you need is mix everything together and then start inhaling and hold for 8-10 counts and release.Through exercise, your body healthy and they are used to stooping; the major reason for you more successful and happy.You may be lactose-intolerant and not so tall to reach your goals will help you get taller are lower than the class system they left behind while the black types.You can also try their hand at a traditional misconception, this boosts self-confidence and benefit from any food your take or over-the-counter supplement.Sound and proper nutrition the growth hormone diets and exercise to maximize growth.

All those foods never aid you to grow even more effective.This step hopes to people as Quasimodo of Hunchback of Notre Dame.Take this advice to heart, and you would exercise for two good reasons.This will enhance the appearance to look up at other people see them.Supplements that are vital components for success.

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2019 Genesis G70 Brings the Fight to the 3 Series

If you ever had doubts Hyundai was serious about taking the fight right to the Germans’ doorsteps, the new 2019 Genesis G70 should put them to rest. A brand landmark, this shapely four-door is a full salvo against the BMW 3 Series et al.

The second model to arrive under the Genesis badge that wasn’t a carry-over from the Hyundai subsidiary, the G70 is a very handsome car. Its angular front fascia, swept hood and side lines, and tall-ish rear end aren’t quite German, nor are they Japanese—they’re a blend of both, and maybe that’s Korea’s best plan of attack. Regardless of influence, it looks better and more cohesive than the G80 and G90, both of which are no Quasimodo.

Despite its entry-level station, the G70 is not a small car. Compared to the 3 Series, the G70 is lower, wider, and longer, with 1.6 inches of extra length, 1.5 inches of additional width, and 1.2 inches lost on height.

This entry-level luxury sedan segment doesn’t suffer softies, instead favoring capable handling, punchy turbocharged powertrains, and well-balanced steering. To achieve this athleticism, the G70 pulls bits (and platform) from the freshly minted Kia Stinger sports sedan, including shared powertrains, suspension, and tires, though the Stinger receives a stiffer suspension and a longer wheelbase.

The G70 won’t be breathless in a stoplight sprint against the Bimmer, either. U.S. buyers have a choice of either a 2.0-liter turbocharged four-cylinder packing 255 hp and 260 lb-ft of torque, or the big-boy 3.3-liter twin-turbo V-6 that spits out 365 hp and 375 lb-ft of torque.

A traditional eight-speed automatic transmission manages both engines, sending power to either the rear- or all-four wheels, the latter being a nifty rear-biased system that will still allow smoky oversteer when prodded.

According to our friends at Motor Trend, the U.S.-spec 2.0-liter will be offered with a six-speed manual, likely making its way overseas eventually. A 2.2-liter turbocharged diesel four-cylinder is also available, but that will not make its way Stateside.

At least in the six-cylinder G70, performance is impressive and above average for the segment. 0-62 mph arrives in 4.7 seconds, and does not stop accelerating until a top speed of 167 mph.

Performance specs for the 2.0-liter are not available yet, but expect a 0-60 mph sprint in the high five-second range. There’s a whole raft of performance hardware to manage both powertrains, including launch control, multilink rear-suspension, torque vectoring, and a mechanical limited-slip differential.

Genesis also clearly studied up on Audi and BMW’s best interior efforts. Segment standards are rampant in the G70’s cabin, including a floating infotainment screen on the center stack, quilted and diamond-pattern leather surfaces, contrasted stitching, matte metal surfaces, and dark trim.

It’s far, far too early to tell if the 2019 Genesis G70 has what it takes to yank significant sales from the Germans, but this is a clear indication that the Koreans are here to stay in the competitive luxury market.

2019 Genesis G70 Specifications ON SALE 2019 PRICE $35,000 (base, est) ENGINE 2.0L turbocharged DOHC 16-valve I-4/255 hp, 260 lb-ft; 3.3L twin-turbo DOHC 24-valve V-6/365 hp, 375 lb-ft TRANSMISSION 8-speed automatic; 6-speed manual LAYOUT 4-door, 5-passenger, front-engine, RWD/AWD sedan EPA MILEAGE N/A L x W x H 184.5 x 72.8 x 55.1 in WHEELBASE 111.6 in WEIGHT N/A 0-60 MPH 4.7 (V-6), 5.8 sec  (I-4, est) TOP SPEED 167 mph (V-6)

 The post 2019 Genesis G70 Brings the Fight to the 3 Series appeared first on Automobile Magazine.

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2019 Genesis G70 Brings the Fight to the 3 Series

If you ever had doubts Hyundai was serious about taking the fight right to the Germans’ doorsteps, the new 2019 Genesis G70 should put them to rest. A brand landmark, this shapely four-door is a full salvo against the BMW 3 Series et al.

The second model to arrive under the Genesis badge that wasn’t a carry-over from the Hyundai subsidiary, the G70 is a very handsome car. Its angular front fascia, swept hood and side lines, and tall-ish rear end aren’t quite German, nor are they Japanese—they’re a blend of both, and maybe that’s Korea’s best plan of attack. Regardless of influence, it looks better and more cohesive than the G80 and G90, both of which are no Quasimodo.

Despite its entry-level station, the G70 is not a small car. Compared to the 3 Series, the G70 is lower, wider, and longer, with 1.6 inches of extra length, 1.5 inches of additional width, and 1.2 inches lost on height.

This entry-level luxury sedan segment doesn’t suffer softies, instead favoring capable handling, punchy turbocharged powertrains, and well-balanced steering. To achieve this athleticism, the G70 pulls bits (and platform) from the freshly minted Kia Stinger sports sedan, including shared powertrains, suspension, and tires, though the Stinger receives a stiffer suspension and a longer wheelbase.

The G70 won’t be breathless in a stoplight sprint against the Bimmer, either. U.S. buyers have a choice of either a 2.0-liter turbocharged four-cylinder packing 255 hp and 260 lb-ft of torque, or the big-boy 3.3-liter twin-turbo V-6 that spits out 365 hp and 375 lb-ft of torque.

A traditional eight-speed automatic transmission manages both engines, sending power to either the rear- or all-four wheels, the latter being a nifty rear-biased system that will still allow smoky oversteer when prodded.

According to our friends at Motor Trend, the U.S.-spec 2.0-liter will be offered with a six-speed manual, likely making its way overseas eventually. A 2.2-liter turbocharged diesel four-cylinder is also available, but that will not make its way Stateside.

At least in the six-cylinder G70, performance is impressive and above average for the segment. 0-62 mph arrives in 4.7 seconds, and does not stop accelerating until a top speed of 167 mph.

Performance specs for the 2.0-liter are not available yet, but expect a 0-60 mph sprint in the high five-second range. There’s a whole raft of performance hardware to manage both powertrains, including launch control, multilink rear-suspension, torque vectoring, and a mechanical limited-slip differential.

Genesis also clearly studied up on Audi and BMW’s best interior efforts. Segment standards are rampant in the G70’s cabin, including a floating infotainment screen on the center stack, quilted and diamond-pattern leather surfaces, contrasted stitching, matte metal surfaces, and dark trim.

It’s far, far too early to tell if the 2019 Genesis G70 has what it takes to yank significant sales from the Germans, but this is a clear indication that the Koreans are here to stay in the competitive luxury market.

2019 Genesis G70 Specifications ON SALE 2019 PRICE $35,000 (base, est) ENGINE 2.0L turbocharged DOHC 16-valve I-4/255 hp, 260 lb-ft; 3.3L twin-turbo DOHC 24-valve V-6/365 hp, 375 lb-ft TRANSMISSION 8-speed automatic; 6-speed manual LAYOUT 4-door, 5-passenger, front-engine, RWD/AWD sedan EPA MILEAGE N/A L x W x H 184.5 x 72.8 x 55.1 in WHEELBASE 111.6 in WEIGHT N/A 0-60 MPH 4.7 (V-6), 5.8 sec  (I-4, est) TOP SPEED 167 mph (V-6)

 The post 2019 Genesis G70 Brings the Fight to the 3 Series appeared first on Automobile Magazine.

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2019 Genesis G70 Brings the Fight to the 3 Series

If you ever had doubts Hyundai was serious about taking the fight right to the Germans’ doorsteps, the new 2019 Genesis G70 should put them to rest. A brand landmark, this shapely four-door is a full salvo against the BMW 3 Series et al.

The second model to arrive under the Genesis badge that wasn’t a carry-over from the Hyundai subsidiary, the G70 is a very handsome car. Its angular front fascia, swept hood and side lines, and tall-ish rear end aren’t quite German, nor are they Japanese—they’re a blend of both, and maybe that’s Korea’s best plan of attack. Regardless of influence, it looks better and more cohesive than the G80 and G90, both of which are no Quasimodo.

Despite its entry-level station, the G70 is not a small car. Compared to the 3 Series, the G70 is lower, wider, and longer, with 1.6 inches of extra length, 1.5 inches of additional width, and 1.2 inches lost on height.

This entry-level luxury sedan segment doesn’t suffer softies, instead favoring capable handling, punchy turbocharged powertrains, and well-balanced steering. To achieve this athleticism, the G70 pulls bits (and platform) from the freshly minted Kia Stinger sports sedan, including shared powertrains, suspension, and tires, though the Stinger receives a stiffer suspension and a longer wheelbase.

The G70 won’t be breathless in a stoplight sprint against the Bimmer, either. U.S. buyers have a choice of either a 2.0-liter turbocharged four-cylinder packing 255 hp and 260 lb-ft of torque, or the big-boy 3.3-liter twin-turbo V-6 that spits out 365 hp and 375 lb-ft of torque.

A traditional eight-speed automatic transmission manages both engines, sending power to either the rear- or all-four wheels, the latter being a nifty rear-biased system that will still allow smoky oversteer when prodded.

According to our friends at Motor Trend, the U.S.-spec 2.0-liter will be offered with a six-speed manual, likely making its way overseas eventually. A 2.2-liter turbocharged diesel four-cylinder is also available, but that will not make its way Stateside.

At least in the six-cylinder G70, performance is impressive and above average for the segment. 0-62 mph arrives in 4.7 seconds, and does not stop accelerating until a top speed of 167 mph.

Performance specs for the 2.0-liter are not available yet, but expect a 0-60 mph sprint in the high five-second range. There’s a whole raft of performance hardware to manage both powertrains, including launch control, multilink rear-suspension, torque vectoring, and a mechanical limited-slip differential.

Genesis also clearly studied up on Audi and BMW’s best interior efforts. Segment standards are rampant in the G70’s cabin, including a floating infotainment screen on the center stack, quilted and diamond-pattern leather surfaces, contrasted stitching, matte metal surfaces, and dark trim.

It’s far, far too early to tell if the 2019 Genesis G70 has what it takes to yank significant sales from the Germans, but this is a clear indication that the Koreans are here to stay in the competitive luxury market.

2019 Genesis G70 Specifications ON SALE 2019 PRICE $35,000 (base, est) ENGINE 2.0L turbocharged DOHC 16-valve I-4/255 hp, 260 lb-ft; 3.3L twin-turbo DOHC 24-valve V-6/365 hp, 375 lb-ft TRANSMISSION 8-speed automatic; 6-speed manual LAYOUT 4-door, 5-passenger, front-engine, RWD/AWD sedan EPA MILEAGE N/A L x W x H 184.5 x 72.8 x 55.1 in WHEELBASE 111.6 in WEIGHT N/A 0-60 MPH 4.7 (V-6), 5.8 sec  (I-4, est) TOP SPEED 167 mph (V-6)

 The post 2019 Genesis G70 Brings the Fight to the 3 Series appeared first on Automobile Magazine.

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