#(pointing) thats my wife
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New Family Speedrun 00:09.12 (World Record Not Clickbait???)
#deltarune#queen#lancer#rouxls kaard#comic#art#doodles#SDFJKHJKDHSF THIS IS STUPID i said it on discord at like 2AM and then went Wait Thats Funny Actually#and u know what It Is#they're both the wife actually#this is also supremely old this is like WELL over a year old#queenkaard#my art#are you guys enjoying me clearing out my drafts. i hope u are. ancient artwork... now go look at my etsy im posting sooooo much stuff 2day#its been pointed out to be that tf2 doesn't have a spawn noise. you're right. i was confusing it for the respawn cabinets which is often#directly in range of a respawning character. so you usually do hear it pretty immediately after respawning#plus its used a lot in sfm animations too dshhsjdhjsf
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it is absurd how blatant people are irl. like why is transphobia your idea of smalltalk with a store employee
then they just move on. like boom ! its there and then its gone. theyll spend the next 5 mins asking you about dog food without picking up on ur name tag. swindled by the left again idk we're so sneaky ig
#this post is brought to you by meeting my dentist's wife and having her throw out a horribly transphobic sideways comment#while i prayed she wouldnt look down and see the big ass 'thomas' on my name tag & pass it on to my family#objectively rly funny that ppl do this though#lighthearted post in the way that its no surprise it just leaves u bemused#with a vague sense of dread but thats perpetual at this point so. im sure u guys get it
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some of yall are about to be real mad at me but, bryce tankthrust.
#bryce tankthrust#came back for the first time in months to be a hater ur welcome brcu fandom#because some people either draw her with triple d cups or white as a ghost#yea you can have body type headcanons i clearly do but at a certain point that’s a different bitch#THATS NOT MY WIFE!!!#that’s the difference between you and me buster i love bryce and her flat chest *tips cowboy hat*#ok this has been an awful post time to end it#not my art btw credit to ramielalaine on twitter
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drider
#kar'niss#baldur's gate 3#bg3#(pointing) thats my wife#i wish he had more than like eight mins of screentime#myart#rkgk
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I need a scene where Colin is spending time with the bros celebrating the announcement that Pen is pregnant again and Will or Ben makes a comment about letting Pen breathe before they have even more Bridgerton’s running around and Colin my wife Bridgerton just smirks and is like “have you seen my wife? Actually don’t answer that I do not wish for you to be looking at my wife.”
I just need Colin being annoying about his wife around everyone. 😂
Oh trust me, I have a feeling that we’ll get Colin “my wife” Bridgerton so much next season we’ll be rolling our eyes with the rest of the London good society in the show.
They’re about to become one of the most obnoxious in love couples. So much so that we won’t know what to do with ourselves (mostly because we already don’t know what to do with ourselves).
Personally, after watching Anthony level of unhinged happy married man and soon to be father, I have a headcanon (maybe it’s canon) that all Bridgerton men become slightly unhinged in a whole new way once their season is over and they’re settled down. Colin soft boy lover era is coming, we just had to get through Reputation and the All Too Well 10 min version before getting there.
#also yes no one who looks at Penelope in a suggestive manner is making it out alive#this boy will be THATS MY WIFE#THE MOTHER OF MY CHILD#GREATEST WOMAN TO HAVE EVER WALKED THIS EARTH#AND SHE LOVES ME#can’t imagine what it’s like to be you#envy must be a heavy feeling to carry#I’m not familiar with it though#wink wink follows pen out the room#and I’m just thinking at this point that I love him but he’s also a funny man#polin#bridgerton#bridgerton season 3#also don’t ask me about the Taylor Swift reference#I don’t know why I went there
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im not an artisti but this fuckin game is making me wanna try
call it a draft right now, might go in and edit
anyways
#slay the princess#is this it. am i becoming a stp blog#with a FNAF PFP are ya JOKING me#thats hilarious i should#for the fun of it#anyways this is shifty and longy#hm.m#not sure i like that nickname for him#anyways this too is lesbians. to me.#the long quiet hello my beautiful butch wife.#[points at couple] so which one of you is the concept of transformation change itself the ebb and flow containing the very concept of death#and which of you looks like mothman#the shifting mound#the long quiet#the slayer slay the princess#the princess#sorry for taggginngggg i dont even really want people to see this im just. trying to be brave#and a member of a community of course#soup shut up challenge#burntsoupart
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Sunshine 🌻📸
#tcm#tcm game#texas chainsaw massacre#sissy slaughter#sissy sawyer#fanart#my art#*pointing* THATS MY WIFE!!!
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being a claudia lover above anything else is the best way to interact with iwtv. I love those toxic old men as much as the next queer but also the posts absolutely obliterating them are hilarious
#i've read an unhealthy amount of devils minion fanfiction recently and i love them#but the tiktoks hating on armand like its their job are so funny#like thats my wife but also get his ass!#same thing with lestat hes literally just a princess but watching him be humbled is a lovely experience#iwtv#amc iwtv#interview with the vampire#claudia iwtv#claudia de pointe du lac#claudia de lioncourt#claudia eparvier
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what if v1 was a girl. Like yeah sure there's mirage but what if v1 ultrakill, the one you played as during ultrakill, was a girl/fem. what if they liked wearing dresses and doing their makeup and being a girl and liked being called a girl. What if they cried while watching I saw the tv glow or playing as Bridget from guilty gear because they realized that being a girl made sense to them more than anything else and they should stop trying to deny that feeling from themself. What if.
#I WANNA ADD THAT THIS ISN'T THE ONLY TYPE OF FEMININITY AND THAT THERE'S MULTIPLE TYPES FROM MULTIPLE CULTURES AND THATS SO COOL AND REAL#NOT EVERY TYPE OF FEM PERSON IS LIKE THIS AND THATS SO AWESOME./EXTREMELY FUCKING GENUINE.#added this because it was an important thing to point out. back to your regularly scheduled programming#Ultrakill#V1 ultrakill#ough. I love them.#like yeah gender neutral and masc v1 was great but what if at the end of the day they wanted to be a girl.#I think thats something that should be thought about more#waiter waiter more fem v1 ultrakill please#butch v1 though is still a banger idea#i lobf my wife
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I Think it's Gonna Rain When I Die
An unofficial addition to the Serial Killer! Francis AU!!
AU belongs to our beloved SK Francis Anon 🔪
TW: Referenced/Implied PTSD attacks, implied/referenced abuse, SK! Francis is an entire tw on his own, possessive behavior, execution via electrocution, Francis loves Nacha and tolerates Ana 👍
The police officer escorted her to the stand alone table, there sat her father… no, he lost the right to that title.
There sat Francis.
Clean shaven, sullen eyes, and ruffled and slightly matted hair. There were two guards against the back wall waiting for anything to happen. Anastacha bit the sides of her tongue as she made eye-contact with him, her expression unchanging as Francis recognized her.
He laughed a breath out and took a pained one back in, “Anastacha! My baby girl, oh look at you! You have your mother’s nose, her hair too, even-”
“Hello Francis.”
Francis pouts and cocks his head, “Mmm, that's no way to greet your father, young lady.”
She held back a snide remark and she sat down, placing her hands on the table folded, she felt her eyes twitch, “How's prison treating you? You look like shit.”
Francis threw an exaggerated hand to his chest, “Oh how hurtful, Annie-” He gets really close to the window separating them, “It's been… stifling, sweetie… 15 fucking years without my wife and child…” His eyes drone around behind her, “Where is Nacha, sweetie? Unless if you two are doin’ a one on o-”
“She didn't come. Nobody came. It's just me.”
She blinked slowly, no signs of emotion from her.
Francis furrowed his eyebrows, humming, “Hmm, surely she’s just sleeping out in the car, Annie, oh I just know your mother misses me like I miss her!” He giggles, tapping his fingers on the table, the chains making a scraping noise on the wood.
Anastacha snorts and cracks a smile, she pulls a box of cigarettes out and lights one up, “What’s so funny sweetie- ugh, y’know how bad those things are for a little girl like you, Anastacha.”
She takes a drag from it, “Y’think mom misses you, Francis? Yeah, whatever, buddy… I do understand where you're comin’ from, feeling like you're the only one who can protect your mother from your own father.”
She bites the end of her cigarette, feeling her heart strain, “You know how many sleepless nights I've gotten after you got arrested? Having to hear mom cry herself to sleep and have mental breakdowns all because of you, Francis, huh? Do you know how many times I've had to convince my own mother that it’s safe to be alone in a room with another man, hell, another person that isn't me?! Oh my god.”
She buries her face in her hands, scrunching her bangs, rubbing her eyes with her palms and mutters out, “You fucking ruined our lives.” Slamming her hands down on the table, Anastacha looks at him dead in the eyes, not a single glint of light sparkled in her eyes anymore, they’re bloodshot, her eyebags even more noticeable.
Francis frowns, crossing his arms, “Sweetie, you know damn well what kinda people are out there, I was tryna protect you and your mother from the scum of the Earth and those fucking man made pests. And what did youse do? Get me arrested after all I've done for your ungrateful ass and your darling, sweet mother.”
Anastacha rolls her eyes, “Whatever helps you sleep at night.”
Francis let an annoyed breath out, but collected himself, “So… tell me what you’ve been up to, sweetie.” He flashes her a phony smile.
“I’m a Victim’s Advocate. I'm running my own organization, helping get folks out of domestic situations.” She tugs on her purple bow around her collar, “It's… very rewarding. Mom and dad are real proud of me.”
Francis’ eyebrows raised and his eyes widened, “G-good for you, sweetie, but- I-I’m right here and this is my first time hearing about this! Why'd you say-”
“Oh, yeah, mom’s seein’ someone.”
She watched as Francis slammed his hands on the table and stood up, the chair falling back, “WHO IS HE?! TELL ME. SHE KNOWS GODDAMN WELL THAT SHE BELONGS TO ME AND ME ONLY.” The two guards approached him and pulled him back, Anastacha leans back into her chair, taking a drag, blowing smoke from her nose.
Francis magages to calm down just enough so his vision isn't red anymore, but still feeling his blood boil and his mind race.
“Anastacha Lynn Mosses. You better fucking tell me who this bastard is.”
The guards were about to take him away till Anastacha spoke up and yelled, “Jeez Louise! Boys, calm down! Francis, pay attention.” She snaps her fingers to get his attention.
She reaches into her pocket for her wallet and opens it up, she smiles as she takes her driver's license and a polaroid out. She placed both items flush against the window, “Here 'go, Franny boy.”
Francis broke out of the guard's grasp and got his face close to the window.
He wished what he was looking at was a sick prank his little girl was pulling on her.
On the left was the polaroid, it was his Nacha in the foreground dressed in a long sleeved and puffy wedding gown. Behind her was Angus, in a dark purple tuxedo, holding her waist with one hand and his cane with the other. His vision focused in and out when he slowly rolled his eyes to Anastacha’s license and he felt his heart sink deeper than his first night alone without his family when he read her name.
Anastacha Lynn Mikaelys-Ciprianni.
His eyes pinholed as he looked dead at Anastacha, who was smiling as sweetly as ever.
That motherfucker stole his family from him.
Anastacha softly sighs as she puts her items away back into her wallet.
You could hear a pin drop how quiet it was… till Francis hit the plexiglass window, with his fists, cracking with all of his might. Anastacha jumped putting her hands up, watching the guards pull him back to his room while he was screaming obscenities to her, her mother, and especially her father. She cupped a hand next to her mouth and yelled, “So long, and thanks for all of the fish!”
She chuckles as the door slams shut, she can still hear the dead-beat yell, she turns to the officer that escorted her in, “I'm so sorry you folks had to deal with him for so long.” She reached into her pocket and gives him a stack of her business cards, “Leave ‘em by the sign in desk, y’never know what's going on with a person just by looking at ‘em.” He nodded and escorted her to the next room to watch Francis’ execution…
~
…It went as grizzly as one could go, Anastacha and her police escort were the only ones in the theater when it happened. He looked away while she watched it all go down, never faltering. Even when the vertigo of the electricity flashed her eyes never moved from Francis as she watched the remainder of life leave his body...
~
Afterwards, she left the prison, it was late at night, night life was just getting started, but she was not interested in the slightest. As she lit up another cigarette, she felt a drop of rain hit her nose.
She looked up and saw rain clouds moving in, “Mmm… peculiar… didn't know he had a soul…”
She continued walking until she found a vacant and illuminated phone booth. She entered before the rain started pouring down, the droplets making music on the glass walls. After putting 15 cents in, she slumped against the cooling wall, smoking, looking at people scuttling for cover, waiting for the caller to pick up.
“Ugh, hello? Ciprianni residents, Nacha speaking…”
“Hey mom, it's Anastacha.”
She heard her mother move excitedly on the other end, shaking Angus awake.
“Ana! Hija! How are you?! Are you okay? Did anything happen?! Do you need us to drive over?!”
Anastacha laughed, “No, mom! I'm good, I'm fine, it was very…” She looked for the words as she heard her father speak faint but very tired Italian in the background, “I feel like I closed a large chapter in my life and I’m… glad I went.”
She clears her throat as she hears Angus take the phone, “Ciao, sweetheart, I heard what you said, ‘m happy you decided to go, I’m so proud of you Anne… shit, Nacha, cara mia, what time is it?”
Anastacha huffs, checking her watch, “It's only midnight-thirty, dad!”
Angus groans as both Nacha and Anastacha giggles, “Alright, alright, I’ll let the oldies sleep, I just wanted to let y'all know that I'm outta there and I'm doing good.”
“That's great, hija, you go out and enjoy the night! Don't drink too much!”
“Yes, and remember to aim for the throat and ears if you can! And if you brought your pistol or brass knuckles even better!”
Anastacha heard her mom smack him on the shoulder and he laughed, “Ciao, Anna, you be safe and take care of yourself, mom and I love you-”
Nacha yoinked the phone, “Love you hija! Please come and visit us soon! We always have the guest room open for you!”
Anastacha puts her cigarette out with her dress shoes and smiles, “I love you guys too, when this next case is cleared up I’ll drive over to see y'all before you guys move again, good night!”
They both wish her goodnight and she hangs up. She unlatches the phone booth and exits, the rain is now a drizzle.
Sighing, she decided to take her folks advice and enjoys the evening to the fullest, starting her a new chapter in her life.
~
#thats not my neighbor#anastacha mikaelys#francis mosses#nacha mikaelys#angus ciprianni#sk! francis#'francis dni i cucked your wife' - angus at one point or another#i wrote this instead of having lunch#im heading to panda express ciao yall#im not a writer#angus x nacha#spoiled milk au
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On one hand the Slade design is REALLY funny because it’s such a total subversion of his intended design and is pissing off his diehard fans that thinks he’s the shit but on the other hand it completely fucks with the timeline and removes his absent father dilf swag that makes his character so interesting in the first place
#my adventures with superman#deathstroke#slade wilson#modern day deathstroke stands out bc 'ohhh mercenary that used to be military and has Issues' has been done like. a thousand times#(before anyone says anything YES i know deadpool was inspired by deathstroke I Get It)#but a mercenary that causes immense daddy issues? that had his ex wife shoot out his eye? thats your regular ol piece of shit?#the guy that has people pause and go 'oh wow i understand why your family left you LMAO'#thats fun#theres a reason his main enemies are the teen titans alright#this slade wilson has none of that. this slade wilson is just a common bitch#HOWEVER#i will say that this allows for a really interesting character arc of him Losing It All#other people have pointed that out and i will bow to that. and that if this show already has a s2 confirmed then its probably has its own#timeline going on. i will respect that
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I'm on an OC kick and also super indecisive so I spun a wheel (thank you for choosing for me, RNG).
Ricardo is a body guard and is bffs with Marlo. Ricardo's current job is watching after a celebrity's daughter who the public doesn't know even exists. She's just a teenage girl vibing with her mom and getting texts and calls from her dad (who loves her a whole lot and keeps her out of the spotlight very purposefully) and has this bodyguard and his weird friend. Marlo is just vibing with his best friend.
(Also Marlo would absolutely laugh if he heard Ricardo say "someone called me eye candy and it wasn't you and now I think you should call me that")
#my characters#i have an ask in my inbox that has me obsessively thinking about drawing fanart#but i just dont have the energy for what i want to draw for it#its been a rough day guys im dying (allergies and lacking sleep)#(why are allergies so bad today i ask after shoving my face into a cat while knowing im allergic to cats)#there are some prices i will always suffer and pay in life and the cat allergy is one of them you cant keep me away from a cat#im shoving my face in their fur and you CANT STOP ME FROM IT and also they kept bothering me#anyway i got to bed at like 6am after a lot of zoomies and restless legs and then#woke up with both cats in the guest bed with me and man i will not know peace for a few days#worth it tho bc i love them and i will take suffering if it means cattention#i dont really have much to say about the ocs tbh theyre just buddies being guys and then theres a teenage girl sometimes#and people suspect ricardo is her dad and she cant really say no my dads (celebrity) since thats the entire point of rico#so she makes sure its not troublesome for him to have people assume things like that and hes just#idc im in love with my best friend and hes not giving me any kids so not like anyone will start drama if im not with your mom#but he is also ! friends with the celebrity and his wife so he does just go on Family Outings with the wife and daughter#and sometimes marlo because the wife knows of him and invites him sometimes but she treats#rico and marlo like sons instead which is a bit weird to the daughter but she likes her weird fake brothers slash dad and question mark#marlo dyes his hair pink if that matters and has been doing so for a v long time
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I saw someone on Twitter talk about how BOTW-verse Zelda wouldn't have kids, which would end the goddess bloodline and now it has me thinking like....did every Zelda...always end up having kids? For thousands of years? Was the bloodline continuous since Skyward Sword Zelda (which has to be like...hundreds of thousands of years AT LEAST at this point). It's interesting to think about in a scenario where a Zelda doesn't manage to have kids....how does the bloodline come back...
#but to add to the first point: i do like the idea of Zelda (botw/totk) not having kids#she would just raise her found family#we know Zelda is good with kids but her own??? idk...i just see it as her being like “the people of hyrule are my family”#link who has been wondering if their kids would have her hair or his hair: hm? yeah? oh okay. sure. yeah. yeah..#(he'd definitely agree with her but i like to think he's often thought about family stuff...he wants to be in his his trad wife era)#anyways just things i thought about thats weird about the timeline and lore#shout out to botw/totk for being inconsistent!#i also think it would be a nice end for her character arc too?#she's been so pressured about goddess's powers#the royal family/line#her duty#etc#it'd be weird if she has a kid (god forbid a DAUGHTER) and doesn't fear history to repeat itself for them#okay rant over bye#is it though#botw#totk#zelda#zelink#because i mention link here KJDBAJK#and my mind will always be on some zelink shit
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SINA ENT Weibo published the Top Icons of Fashion week on their platform. So they took into consideration recommendations from netizens & fashion industry insiders, data from four dimensions including site-wide discussion volume and hot searches during fashion week (September 8th to October 9th)
The #1 celebrity is WANG YIBO 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
#wang yibo#yibo in paris#king yibo#IM SORRY YANGMI I HAD TO ERASE YOU BUT I PUT A HEART I HOPE THATS OK LOL#I LOVE THIS FOR MY BOY! a true fashion icon to the point that a couple of salons are endorsing they can give you the same hair color as yibo#i really have no salt with PFW. i’m happy that alot of fandoms got content and saw their faves#aside from yibo i enjoyed seeing my faves YANGMI DILRABA ZHAO JINMAI AND OFC MY WIFE BAILU#cheers to all the fandoms who were happy with PFW! there is no need for toxicity
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the to the point of distraction au is incredible and i have so many thoughts,,, is tatooine working on taking down any of the other hutt systems, and are maybe trying to like, seduce the jedi and the sith back to see who will help their anti-slavery quest??? is kitster like, making fun of anakin in the evenings while they watch their coruscanti day time holos together? is obi-wan gonna be the jealous one this time?
oooohoho good thoughts!! to address in order,
i think any new kingdom of tatooine is going to have to eventually take down the other hutt systems, but also they'll need to strengthen themselves first - which is probably why shmi is entertaining both the jedi and the sith right now for sure. if neither faction feels good to her, she'd be fine going alone, it'd just be quicker to allow one to help her.
kitster and anakin definitely get together at night and kitster drags anakin for filth over all the shit he's said or done with darth solence because it's genuinely hilarious. kitster's never really seen anakin like this with anyone. half the time he's mooning over solence and the other half he's trying to stab him with a knife. kitster was half afraid anakin would stab him with a knife during a banquet where darth solence had, apparently, remembered his mission and was showering kitster-who-is-pretending-to-be-prince-skywalker in attention and flirty asides
which brings me to the last point where honestly i think my understanding of anakin's character in general is that he's jealous. or greedy. or possessive, which is why it shows up in my works so much. i think he's irrationally jealous a lot which then sneaks into his narrative when i write things from his perspective. im sure people are sick and tired of this facet of my anakins, but honestly it's one of the things that, for me, make his character read as a version of anakin skywalker, despite the crazy situations i put him in. sorry!
at the same time i really don't see obi-wan kenobi's character having that same nugget of irrational jealousy or greed or possessiveness that i see anakin skywalker having and that's why a lot of my fics have elements of jealous anakin but not jealous obi-wan - jealous/possessive obi-wan is more au dependent than essential to the character for me
that all being said, for this au i do think obi-wan would be jealous or possessive - after all, he's Fallen! He's dark! he can allow his jealousy to run rampant! now...how many situations crop up where he can really be jealous or possessive? like it's not kitster the manservant that anyone's trying to seduce, it's the prince! obi-wan's kitster isn't in the line of fire, so to speak, so while i'm sure there are moments where obi-wan feels that sweet sweet green-eyed monster, the plotty identity shenanigans really thwart more openly jealous obi-wan here
#asks#to the point of distraction au#NOT that i want to say anakin's irrational jealousy is always a bad trait#or inherently Dark or evil or something#i see it as like on a sliding scale#where sometimes its at the end thats 'i don't wanna share my toy with someone :( '#and then other fics it's at the 'i will choke my pregnant wife because she is clearly fucking my master'#not to like. bring canon into it or whatever#but like take my last fic a more perfect union#where BOTH anakin and obi-wan are jealous#obi-wan's jealousy is like. eruptive for that chapter where he has to see padme and anakin together#but mostly it's simmering and or overcome by his heartache/guilt#anakin's jealousy of obi-wan's time and attention is rampant#but it's not evil or dark#it's just codependent#and irrational#more on that 'i'm NOT sharing MY toy' end of the scale rather the 'oh you touched him? ok i will take your hands so that can't happen again
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He's gonna die isn't he
#IM ACTUALLY SO EXCITED FOR WOTFI 2024#BUT#I have a feeling puzzles is gonna die BUT HONESTLY I DONT THINK THERES ANY OTHER WAY FOR HIM TO LIVE AFTER THIS?#MAYBE A REDEMPTION ARC LIKE THEY DID WITH SMG3 BUT ALSO#puzzles has done so much heinous shit to the crew to the point i have a feeling its kinda impossible for redemption??#i mean maybe tari could try or something#maybe meggy BUT PROBABLY NOT AFTER WHAT HAPPEND IN MR PUZZLES CLUBHOUSE.#Anyways if he dies ima be SADDDD#thats my cringefail wife okay HIS CRINGEFAIL CHARM CAPTIVATES ME.#zees ramblings#SMG4#wotfi 2024
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