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larryficworks · 5 years ago

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⭐daisies & dying by xaz (14k) (I was debating whether to include this one in just bc it’s not exactly “prince/castle” based, but has elements ig? lol)

Harry’s eyes stayed cemented to the marble tiles, engraining the memory of his shiny loafers and their contrast to the flooring as he heard the footsteps draw near. An icy hand yanked his chin violently, forcing his face forward.

Hand still clutching Harry’s chin, the man gave a toothy smirk, “I’ve waited centuries to have you as my bride. I won’t settle for less than your full attention, my love.”

OR Hades!Louis and Persephone!Harry but make it pirates

⭐What A Feeling To Be A King Beside You by itsprobablylarry (17k) (need ao3 account)

“Tomlinson. Louis Tomlinson, Duke of Wellington, your highness,” the man, or boy considering he seems to be around Harry’s age or slightly older, says with a wink and a quick bow.

Huh. Duke of Wellington. Harry recalls once meeting the Duke of Wellington. He probably wasn't a day over 7 years and honestly only remembers a mischievous boy with blue eyes that poured gravy on him. But now that he thinks about it, the Duke in front of him does have pretty, blue eyes as well. He's also got a nice smile and a beautiful jawline covered in short stubble. His chestnut hair is done up in a perfect quiff and his dark navy suit is perfectly tailored to his body. He's fit.

(Basically: Harry is the Prince of Wales and Louis is the Duke of Wellington. They fall in love.)

⭐tempests of dust by scrunchyharry (31k)

Louis lived an ordinary life, albeit in an extraordinary place. His family, alongside many others, were mandated to maintain the fortress of Bourbon-l’Archambault, one of the many castles belonging to the crown of France. It was thankless work, but it was a roof over their heads and a quiet, steady life. For all that he knew, the Crown had forgotten Bourbon-l’Archambault even existed, which suited him quite well.

That was until the Dauphin, Prince Harry, came to stay for a summer and decided that he would experience the life of a peasant, for his own personal growth, without any regards to how it would affect others. After a summer spent together, the thought of parting ways was too much to bear and they struck a deal: Louis would pretend to be a duke at the court of Versailles for a season: if after three months, he was miserable, Harry would let him return to his former life without making a fuss.

Did they really think it would be that simple?

⭐You Take Me Over, You’re the Magic in My Veins by supernope (36k)

Louis can feel Harry’s eyes on him as he turns to head toward his seat. He tucks a secretive smile into the palm of his hand while he slides into place beside his sister, his mother’s seat still empty as it awaits the Queen’s entrance. He knows he should be behaving himself a bit more, should be focusing his attention on Gemma, rather than her brother. He’s working on borrowed time, is expected to announce his engagement to the Princess within the next few weeks, but he can’t seem to help himself. Gemma is lovely, kind and witty and beautiful, but he has no interest in being married to her, had no interest in marriage before her arrival, period.

Teeth sunk into his bottom lip to disguise his smile, Louis risks a quick glance toward Gemma and Harry’s usual seats, finds Harry already seated and staring steadily back at him. His hair is a mess from Louis’ fingers and his cheeks are still flushed, and Louis’ heart gives a heavy, delighted thud. No, he thinks, he has no desire to be betrothed to Princess Gemma, but he finds he wouldn’t mind being married after all, if it was Prince Harry he was promised to, instead.

⭐Buried Like Treasure by QuickedWeen for TheCellarDoor (40k)

Prince Harry Styles is very private. He chooses to keep himself out of the public eye but feels lonely and isolated while surrounded by people in his hectic royal life. When he finishes his dissertation, he decides to take a solo holiday to one of the royal family's properties in the Swiss Alps.

Semi-retired thief Louis Tomlinson has been pulled in for one last job: steal a painting from an uninhabited mansion. Neither one of them expects a natural disaster.

⭐I'll Be Here Waiting on Forever by sweaterpawstyles (45k)

Harry made Louis feel like he was walking on air. He was beautiful in every way and it constantly amazed Louis. His eyes could melt Louis' heart at a single glance, his soft hands made Louis' heart race with a simple touch, and the words from his cherry red lips were so captivating that Louis held onto everything he said.

There was a constant buzz in Louis' veins when Harry gave him that look, the look that spoke more than words ever could. It was a soft fond that Louis fell in love with so easily. Too easily.

Louis was in love with the boy he could never have and show off to the world.

A Romeo and Juliet AU where Louis is an alpha prince who falls in love with Harry, an omega prince from the neighboring kingdom.

⭐like cabbages and kings by you_explode (61k) (another fic I wasn’t sure to include but whatever lmao)

When Louis was a kid, he had a series of very vivid dreams about a place called Wonderland. There were rabbits wearing waistcoats and talking cats and ridiculous tea parties, and amidst all the absurdity, there was a boy. A boy with dimples, big green eyes and the sweetest soul Louis has ever known. Louis has always kept a place in his heart for that boy and for his funny dreamworld, and when he’s twenty-five and his life falls apart, it turns out Wonderland might not be so imaginary after all.

⭐feel the chemicals burn in my bloodstream by togetherwecouldbealright (123k) (need ao3 account)

“Alright, alright. No need to bite,” Harry says, holding his hands above his head in a general gesture of surrender.

Louis quirks an eyebrow and his foot nudges Harry’s as he moves to sit straight. “If that’s what you think biting is, you’ve got another thing coming, Styles.”

Harry blinks at him before he feels his face flush and inside the marrows of his bones there’s pulses of heat, pulses of fire spreading through him. “Is that a threat, your Highness?”

“That’s a promise,” Louis answers just as the car halts to a stop. “One I intend to keep.”

Harry is a journalist with a lot of secrets and Louis is the future king of the United Kingdom; they live together for 60 days.

#royalty au #fic rec

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tangerinegod · 4 years ago

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Hello! I am sorry to bother you but I am a senior getting ready for college this year. I am in the US and I wanted to major in the same thing you did, do you have any possible tips for me? I still haven't even looked for colleges that would be best for animation majors so I figured if you were up to giving out any tips/saying any basic ideas if you wanted to/if you had the time to then maybe I'll have a better idea! I apologise for if I sound weird! I'm tried to word it correctly but I can't 😿

hi!! i’m totally down to share my experiences! someone else also had some questions so i’m going to put them all together in this post haha, hopefully this helps! it’ll get pretty long so apologies ahead of time but art school is a lot to think about so i wanna be as helpful as i can around it, its a lot of time and money. I’m gonna put it all under a read more cus it is really really long!

i wanna start off with the fact that I had the privilege of attending school in a financially stable environment, my parents were/are really supportive so w merit scholarship i only came out with around 20-30k in debt and i also had housing support my entire time in school. they were ok with me focusing on academics so i didn’t hold a retail job unless i was out of school like summer/winter break. Ofc though i regularly take commissions/do merch/cons to try and pay for all bills that arent rent cus i did want to be financially independent where it was possible. I also did try and work during the semester but everytime i did my body would deff start to breakdown from the fact that i didnt wanna compromise schoolwork with jobs.. so just read ahead know this experience is from a student who was able to attend focusing only on school work for most of the time!

the biggest thing is knowing art school is not required to become a professional in either freelancing or industry! there are a huuuge amount of online tools and classes these days that provide the exact same education and for cheaper too. i think it depends on what experience you prefer/can handle/want but it’s definitely possible to make art/animation art your living without higher education. the thing that college will for sure give you though is the ability to meet deadlines, work even when you dont want to, and connections with peers+teachers. i think the connections part is invaluable because you’re basically coming out with a network of people you already know and who know you!

also its good to know if you want to attend/can handle art school! it’s a lot of time and energy and students get burned out really fast. the best piece of advice i got before going was ‘if you draw every single day, even if its for only like 5-10 minutes or a doodle for a whole year you should be fine’ consistency is super key because you’re attending school to draw, and you’ll have to create work for stuff you aren’t excited for at some point or another. burnout is extremely real and the only reason i didn’t experience it was probably because i got super into drawing naruto fanart again inbetween sophomore and junior year! it helped give me something to draw seperated from school which is the only thing i was drawing for since i had entered rip. a heads up id also consider myself a workaholic so i fit in ok with the ‘art school’ environment but it is suuper unhealthy. if you are fantastic at managing your schedule then it’s definitely possible to take care of yourself! freshman year i got 8 hours a sleep a night and only pulled all nighters for some second semester finals at the end. sophomore year + up though i ended up prioritizing hw over sleep and like for sure, definitely shortened my life span. there’s another q down below where i’ll go more into detail but ya, be careful w ur work balance!

another tip especially for animation is knowing for a fact what type of animation you’re looking to go into, and what the school is offering. I didn’t think i’d get into art school at the time so i only applied to two places + decided if i didnt get into either id attend community to get credits out of the way while building portfolio. honestly? i did not do a lot of research LOL but like i did end up having the chance to tour and stuff! just know that each school will have a very different curriculum. The main differences are schools that prioritize 3D (cg animation, cg modeling, ect) and 2D/traditional (hand drawn, ‘oldschool’, digital or traditional based) this is a huge difference so make sure you do research for it! in most cases a 2D/traditional program will also offer 3D since it’s at the forefront of the industry animation wise rn. My school taught 2D but like hand drawn on physical paper 2D, frame by frame. while it was a good experience it’s super outdated because digital tools make it way faster + easier! i’d recommend looking for a program that is digital 2D over traditional 2D.

if after your senior year covid is still affecting campuses in the US to keep them shut down i’d recommend attending a community college to get credits and then transferring into school. one of the negatives is paying money for gened classes when ur not there for them; if you can get them out of the way sooner and cheaper there is absolutely no negative + you could graduate earlier or use the extra time for better work or to work a job!

these are all the general tips i think i’d give on like a broad basis of attending or not to think about? let me know if u have more q’s! someone asked q’s im answering below that go more into personal experiences + work culture so heres those:

- how many hours a week do u spend studying, in class, otherwise making art? like how much of ur life does it consume?

I was basically working on art.... 24/7! since i wasnt working a job at the same time i crammed as many credits as possible into my schedule so on avg i did 18 credit semesters (around 6 classes) art classes go for 6 hours and non art go for 3, so i’d spent around 30-35 hours in class a week! hw wise it varied on the class but combined it would be around 35-50 hours a week... im guessing? on average studio classes would have 8-10 hours of hw, maybe 5 for a light week, and gened classes 5 hours w them all combined. or this was probably how things were before junior year? junior+senior year i had thesis + everything else ontop.. i’d spend around 30-40 hours on thesis a week with other classes ontop of that bc my film was super long cus im a dummy!

- is it hard going to art school n realising that altho u were probably quite talented… so is everyone else? Like. all of a sudden. ur not special and everyone seems as good as u, you know? More generally, how do u deal with comparison?

kinda?? i think instead of the idea of like you vs others it feels more of like a competition at first to be the best. this varies hugely on school culture though; my animation year was really friendly with each other and get along extremely well, so my answer to this is v different than some others who attended different schools. i think that the idea of ‘comparison’ only lasts a portion of the first year because at some point you realize that it’s not a who’s better as much as its a ‘these are my coworkers’ type thing? like healthy competition 100% because we’re all working to improve but i think most of us learned pretty early on that viewing each other as peers going into the same workforce helped a lot. also at some point everyone develops their own style/starts to develop their artistic preferences so there isn’t a way to compare whos 'better’ anymore? i dont think there ever is tbh because style is appealing based off of an individuals preferences. If anything realizing everyone else is also amazing makes you wanna work harder ig? or thats how i felt! it’s inspiring to be surrounded by so many people who create such amazing work.

- is there a lot of workaholic culture? all nighter culture?

100000% there can be a workaholic and all nighter culture. i know people who avoided it and thats honestly fantastic because i fall super easily into that pit. sometimes i’ll pull all nighters on a personal project just because i really want to finish it... i am definitely considered a workaholic all the way through and its not healthy rip... i’d estimate at the worst i was pulling 2-3 all nighters a week and only 4-5 hours of sleep on the nights i didn’t? that was only for one year tho, after that i was like yeah ok this is really bad for my health in the long run LOL so i tried to cut it down to one all nighter a week and around 5-6 hours of sleep the rest of the week! by senior year my decision to cram in full semesters paid off and i was able to consistently get around 7 hours of sleep a night + no all nighters minus finals since my schedule was lighter despite thesis 😭 while there is that culture i don’t think people view it as like a badge of honor or something to be proud of anymore which is good, we mostly view it as a flaw of the art school system and something that needs to be fixed!!

- are you glad u did it? how did u know it was what u wanted?

i am glad i did it! i’m definitely in a limbo right now of if it was worth both my time, money, and my parents money rip but i think with what i got out of it i definitely wouldn’t be as far skill wise or knowledge wise when it comes to the art industry. i would say it was only worth it for be because i had so much support going in though so i was able to focus so much on improving. if i had only been able to put in part of the effort and not make full use of the resources provided i would honestly have a different answer..

i knew it was what i wanted when i realized i really couldn’t see myself pursuing a different profession happily! despite all the bumps and stuff im fully in love with drawing still and feel honored that it’s a field that can provide a living. my second profession choice was to go into culinary school? and third option i think going was into music cus i was also a band kid hehe.

- how do u cope with ur hobby becoming ur job? how do u deal with art going from something u do for fun to something u do on command constantly?

i think seperating work art from personal art is important! in my case im doubling naruto into being personal work so i have something to fall back onto that isn’t work related. its been a hyperfixation for 12+ years? so drawing it at this point is just like personal art imo. some people have hobbies outside of art and only draw for their job! i think after attending classes for so long the idea of hobby turning into job feels extremely natural? also i enjoy doing it so thats a huge plus!

sorry this is SO long but i hope i answered your guys’ questions! if you have more just lmk!

#anon #ask #long post #im so so sorry this is like long as shit #ill literally tell you guys everything though art school should not feel like a mystery esp if ur planning to go into it!#Anonymous

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tfw-no-tennis · 4 years ago

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mtmte liveblog issue 15

death awaits!

oh god the cover. I aint ready

the cover of overlords open mouth w/rodimus floating inside or w/e,,,,the overlord mouth fixation continues i see

and of COURSE its by nick roche. of course

oh god the tension and dread in the first page, as we get overlords sinister promise to murder everyone, starting with rewind, and then seeing chromedome rush over to open the door, and knowing that 30 minutes have passed already...

that full page spread of everyone vs overlord is amazing

also I always thought that ambulon was trying to kick overlord but now that I look closer he’s actually jumping away from overlord, having just crashed one of those hover...thingys....into him...which is honestly cool as hell. also I'm never over the fact that ambulon kinda looks like he’s smiling here, just having a grand ole time as overlord tries his best to murder everyone

and chromedome just seeing this and saying ‘rewind?’ is fucking killing me thanks

PIPES NO DONT DO THIS. YOURE JUST RUBBING SALT IN THE WOUND. PLEASE don't talk about how much fun you're having on your wacky space adventure oh god, that’s just asking to be murdered,

GOD AND THERE HE GOES, DRIVING TO HIS DOOM. PIPES NO

AUGHHHHHHHHHH AND THERES OVERLORD WITH HIS GIANT FOOT. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

PIIIIIPES ;_;

his messed up goodbye thoughts are brutal...plus the final shot of him laying all busted up....god :(

that guy seriously had some awful luck this trip. rip lil guy

BUT he sounded the alarm!!! so good for him!! that's a pretty amazing final act right there

oh my god I forgot abt this scene where rewind is like ‘so brainstorm why is my husband saying your name in his sleep :))))’ and brainstorm is like ‘haha idk its certainly not because we’re working on a secret project together, so jot that down!’ lmao brainstorm....

also dw rewind brainstorm is not fucking ur husband, just look at his evidentially extensive collection of perceptor-style microscopes...my man is microscopesexual

I forgot abt the metabomb omfg

‘some of my favorite words are monosyllabic’ rodimus ily, himbo of my heart,

fort max :( rung :(

oughhghghg I forgot abt the scene of tailgate making cyclonus a new horn ;_; and then cyclonus materializes menacingly bc tg dared to volunteer their room for movie night hvbfshdjkfbaskj cyclonus anti-social icon

AUGHHHH GOD THE PANEL OF RATCHET TALKING ON THE COMMS AND OVERLORD IS JUST, RIGHT BEHIND HIM, WITH HIS BIG STUPID LIPS, OH MY GOD

what the fuck, is drift a flying car??? hello??? what the hell????

seriously he’s got like, rockets and shit, what the fuck

anyways, the entire exchange b/w ratchet and drift here kills me, for multiple reasons.... ‘my faith and my sword’ lmao love it. and then ratchet refusing to leave drift and calling him his friend ;_; aughhh

rodimus w/the squad like ‘lets go gays!!!’

also I guess cosmos WAS on the lost light lol, totally didn't remember that, I'm guessing he left at some point to go be in the other series lmao

I'm sorry but ‘amazing. you speak entirely in name’ is so fucking funny, but also like stfu overlord you're not allowed to be funny

MAGNUSSSSSSSS

now I'm confusing myself lmao, rodimus DID know abt overlord, didn't he??? wasn't that the whole thing???? I don't remember if he was involved w/the whole mnemosurgery plan but he at least knew that overlord was there...but we haven't been told that in-story yet so now I'm questioning that lmao

oh god I forgot that overlord almost kills magnus, jeeeeesus. good thing he’s a russian nesting doll otherwise he probably would've died fr

also damn that's gotta be scary for everyone else, bc magnus is The Big Guy, and a renown fighter...plus drift got all fucked up...yall are in for a bad time

tailgate gettin his panic on I see

swerve w/the meta narration lmao

cyclonus ily sm.......

rodimus charging at overlord....ohhh my boy not your best idea

cd and rewind both saying ‘I thought you were dead!’ HHHHHHHH I'm destroyed fuck it all

rodimus (inadvertently) saving the day by saying ‘til all are one’...iconic!!

FORT MAX IS HEREEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

drift just casually chillin w/no legs

chromedome going into extreme detail about all the mnemosurgery he’s been doing on overlord for WEEKS while rewind is Right There....my dude.

this issue has a LOT of completely white backgrounds but I cant even rlly blame milne bc this seems like more drawing work than usual

oh god cd don't say ‘we’ll finish this conversation later’ at a time like this, that’s never a good idea,

rewind no don't do it :( :( :(

that panel of cd’s arm getting cut off...AUGHHH

GODDDDDDD IM FUCKING CRYING. AUGHHHHHHHHHHH I.....

so incredibly fucked that cd does what’s best for rewind by blowing the pod up....hhhhh god

and then that last panel of cd laying on the ground....fucking destroy me!!!!!!!!

also I love that at the beginning of the issue we see whirl with the missile launcher thing, and that’s what cd uses at the end here....good bookends. jro is really great about putting stuff in the story that just seems like innocuous filler/fun character building but turns out to ALSO be plot relevant later

HOLY SHIT I forgot about the cast page with the big red X’s thru the dead people’s profiles....jesus christ

AUGH this issue was a rollercoaster, phew...and the emotionally devastating conclusion to this arc is still yet to come!

I will say that it’s super interesting looking back on this, in the sense that rewind & chromedome are introduced as the first ever gay tf couple, and a few issues after we get told this explicitly, rewind is killed. this doesn't really end up being an issue representation-wise bc literally everyone is gay and there are a bunch of other significant gay characters/relationships later on, AND rewind comes back later

but still! it’s interesting to think about how, at the time this came out, the phrase/concept ‘bury your gays’ wasn't really something that was talked about a lot (or like, it was, but not as often as nowadays, and not really under the term ‘bury your gays’ iirc), but at the time of publication this would have fallen under that trope (though rewind coming back later negates it imo). I think it would've been tough for this story to come out nowadays due to the backlash that would've occurred from rewind’s initial death (it also makes me wonder if there was any backlash when this DID come out)

to be clear, this isn't a writing criticism - in fact, the reason this is able to work at all is because of the crazy amount of representation mtmte has. it’s like, youre able to kill off gay characters without it being ‘bury your gays’ if literally all your characters are gay by default, and there are a bunch of significant gay relationships happening - technically speaking, any death in mtmte is bury your gays lmao

this is a completely disjointed rant but my point is like, if this issue came out in 2020 people would probably be pretty put off by rewind dying (understandably), but in the context of the series as a whole I don't consider this to be bad writing/bad representation/bury your gays

and like, WERE people really mad about this in 2013? I am curious now, bc I would definitely feel kinda betrayed if I didn't know all the stuff that happens later

but its pretty nice, because now I'm free to enjoy the writing and be emotionally devastated by rewinds death in a normal way, and not a ‘I'm angry at the writers for killing off one of the only gay characters’ kinda way

anyways I'm tired as hell so I'm going to bed, ill continue the emotional devastation later, phew

#lj rereads mtmte

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okayoonoh · 5 years ago

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JUNGWOO’S FAMILY

a/n: i honestly can’t believe i’ve gotten this far! i’m so happy that i’ve been keeping up with these and i hope you guys have been liking them so far!

here’s the masterlist to all things nct dad related! go and check it out! i have so many other parts written already :)

KIM JUNGWOO:

he has three kids, all daughters. kim jia is the oldest, 3 years later, kim jieun was born, and 3 years after that, kim jiyoung was born.

(when jiyoung was born, jia was 6 years old while jieun was 3 years old)

KIM JIA: >> as a baby <<

she comes runner up in the position as calmest

she was so freaking chill like?

when jia was born, jungwoo saw his entire universe the second she opened her eyes and looked at her appa

you know how when jungwoo smiles, he looks like the little dumpling ?

yeah

that’s jia

she looks more like the dumpling then jungwoo does lol

jia was also pretty small when she was born

but that didn’t stop her!

when she gained weight, she mostly gained it in her belly and her face

she like was fine proportionally, but her belly was just so big lol

it honestly was the cutest

jungwoo nicknamed her mandu bc she was honestly just the sweetest little dumpling

she wasn’t shy when it came to her smiles

she was a little wary around strangers but that’s okay

jungwoo was honestly a really anxious dad

like he just would think that anything and everything can go wrong and he was just so nervous

but like jia took it easy on him dw

like if you had to leave for something for like a couple days

jungwoo would be so anxious about taking care of jia by himself

but then jia would just give her appa a pretty little reassuring smile

and he knew that he got it

jungwoo is honestly a really good dad

like naturally

he read a couple books and such

but a lot of his skills come naturally

he knew all of the things jia liked

he knew how to calm her down

she was honestly the worst with strangers

like if jungwoo or you had to leave the room

she would cry as if you left her forever

jia slowly learned that you guys still exist even if you leave the room haha

she was just so loving with her parents

>> as a child <<

she’s still just so chill dude

like obvi she’s a kid and when she gets excited, she’ll get excited

but she’s not like the “WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO” kind of kid

she’s more of a “woo”

she’s best friends with jeno’s oldest, lee juwon

juwon is a lot like his dad

he thinks that it’s so cool that jia is so smart

she’s kinda panicky lol

but juwon is just like weird with his humor and stuff

they still vibe together well tho

they both have the greatest smiles

like it’s one of those situations that they don’t have that much in common

but they just vibe so well together

she’s. so. smart.

jia is one of those people that school comes easy to them

like learning is just so easy for her

she was already learning really complex topics for her age

and she just kept wanting to learn more

she’s not super competitive with being top of the class tho

jia will tutor anyone who asks

even tho she’s smart

when she’s with juwon, they don’t make the best decisions

like if you send them to the store to buy more soy sauce or something

they’ll forget the soy sauce

but they’ll buy you like a pan or something

they once clogged the drain and turned the shower into a vertical bath tub

how?

no one knows

it was HE double hockey sticks to drain tho lol

when juwon and jia play, they play hard

like jia is the type of girl to be covered bruises

and she won’t care

she’s a really good sister to all of her siblings

she doesn’t really boss them around

but she will use her older sister powers if one of them steps out of line

like if one of them annoys her while she’s studying or something

she’ll use her older sister voice

she rarely uses it tho lol

>> as a teen/adult <<

she’s so heckin smart dude

honestly, probably the smartest person in the entire group

she decides that she really enjoys helping people when they’re at their worst

and she becomes a orthopedic surgeon

like she achieves to be head of surgery in her hospital

even tho she’s a doctor, she still believes in all the medical myths lol

for example

if it’s really cold outside

and jiyoung is going out for a run

jia will make jiyoung where like 500 layers

jia: “yoU’RE GONNA GET SICK”

jiyoung: “you literally just told me how that was a myth whY -- UNNIE I’LL BE OUT FOR LIKE 30 MINUTES I DON’T NEED TO WEAR MY SNOW COAT AND YOUR’S! IT’S NOT EVEN SNOWING.”

she’s so caring towards her siblings like it’s crazy

she’s proud of everything they do

jia watches every single one of jieun’s blogs

she watches every single one of jiyoung’s soccer games

she’s there for everything

jia doesn’t know what sleep is lol

she’s constantly studying and improving her skills as a surgeon

like even when she’s on vacation

she’s reading her books and stuff

her favorite place to study is qian fen’s cafe

she vibes so well in there

she’s honestly obsessed with her skin

lowkey a dermatologist at this point

jungwoo still occasionally calls her mandu lol

juwon is like one of the only people that knows how to get her to relax lol

she’s honestly a bit of a workaholic

jia can’t help it

she still cares so much about her entire family

she’ll get them in with the good doctors (discounts too)

whenever she’s overworked or overstressed, she goes home

being around family reenergizes her

she relates a lot with her dad

she’s honestly a mini version of jungwoo

if jungwoo can tell that she’s struggling, he’ll do the things he did to her as a baby

like seriously lol

he’ll find her plushy she had when she was a baby

and sing her the same songs

it would make you cry every time because it was so gosh darn cute

KIM JIEUN: >> as a baby <<

also super chill

jieun was honestly so chic

like it would take a lot to make her smile

like if know rohui from return of the superman

like she had the brightest and goofiest smile

but jieun had to keep her chic aesthetic and couldn’t show emotions lol

even when jungwoo and you were jumping up and down making yourselves look ridiculous, she still won’t smile

when, and it was rare, she did smile, it was a big smile

she would give you guys the biggest smiles just so show how happy she is

she wasn’t a super playful baby lol

she was just so chic like idk what else to say lmao

when jieun was around her squad™ she would smile a bit more

but she still maintained her image

she loved to babble

jieun wanted to talk as soon as she could

she would talk even before she knew how lol

like omg imagine

so like you’re with jia for something and jungwoo wants to take a roadtrip with his little princess

she’ll babble the ENTIRE way

none of them are actual words other than “appa” and “eomma”

and jungwoo would respond so well to everything

like he would have actual conversations with her

jungwoo wasn’t as stressed this time around

it’s different with two kids tho

but it’s okay

he still kept those natural dad instincts

jungwoo is so caring towards all of his children it’s just the sweetest

jieun honestly was just a chic baby

>> as a child <<

she’s super feminine

like she loves all things pink

all things frilly and pretty

soft™

her favorite game was all games related to being a princess

she really was your family’s princess tho

jieun was so creative from an early age

and she was so artistic

like she took up drawing, sketching, etc. all from an early age

and she’s super talented with it too

jieun is in the squad of her, jaehyun’s son, jung leon, hendery’s middle son, wong liuwei, and haechan’s middle daughter, lee haeun

jieun is the calmest out of all of them

but they honestly can all be so crazy

generally, jieun is like the one who is trying to calm everyone down

but when she’s in the right mood, she’s right up there with them in crackheadedness

she speaks in tiny

she’s still super girly tho lol

she starts to get interested in makeup in this age

jieun didn’t really like playing with dolls and such

but she did enjoy playing with those makeup sets

she would do her makeup

your makeup

jia’s makeup

jungwoo’s makeup

jiyoung’s makeup

e v e r y o n e

she becomes obsessed with beauty

jieun is one of those girls who you’re like “yeah, she is a GIRL.”

and she loves it!

it’s just her aesthetic :)

>> as a teen/adult <<

she becomes a well known makeup artist

still super duper chic and artistic

she’s known for her colorful and technically perfect style

she does makeup for all of the models and celebrities of the group

like if they want to go for the aesthetic look, they go to her

and she does an amazing job

she’s so talented with all things dealing with beauty

hair, makeup, nails, e v e r y t h i n g

whenever she models for anything, she does her own makeup

her fashion sense is always trendy

jieun has a pristine self image and she tries to maintain it

guys hit on her all of the time lmao

she handles it so well tho

she looks them right in the eyes, as intimidating as possible, and takes a deep breath

she then uses words that don’t match with her image at all

but they’re so scary

like people would think she was a delinquent in her past life with all of the things she says

everyone in her squad find this kinda entertaining

she just gets annoyed because she hates creeps

even tho she cares a lot about her self-image, if someone is being weird around her friends, she’ll do the same thing she’ll do for herself

it usually shocks the dude so much

she can beat them up too lol

jieun is chic and stuff, but being in the squad, she learned how to fight

and she can take care of herself haha

jieun is pretty reliable

like if she makes an engagement, she won’t run from it

she does a really good in keeping up with everything

she gets along well with all of her siblings

jiyoung takes interest in fashion and jieun helps her out

honestly, jieun really is that girl and it’s just so cool

KIM JIYOUNG: >> as a baby <<

she’s been a soccer player from the start

she had such strong legs as a baby

like being pregnant with her was not a fun time

when she kicked, she kicked

even when she was born

her legs were just aching to start running

jiyoung was very similar to jia when she started gaining weight

except her legs were a lot more chubby than jia’s was

jiyoung was an early riser from the start

every day, you would begin by stretching out the little baby

that’s when all of her gigles were

stretching time was jiyoung’s favorite time

out of all of your kids, jiyoung was the most social

jiyoung was fine with strangers

and jiyoung would give you guys way more smiles than jieun did

jiyoung just seemed constantly happy about life

it was a treat to see

in all physical things, she was advanced

literally the second she started walking, she was trying to run

she was just so active and wanted to explore the world

when she was a toddler oh no

you didn’t want to have to get one of those baby backpack leashes, but you had to

she was just too fast

even jungwoo couldn’t keep up with her

she was so excited all of the time haha

nothing seemed to calm her down

she would be full of energy until she collapsed pretty much

jiyoung was such a happy baby tho it was honestly so endearing

>> as a child <<

super duper athletic

she kinda seemed intimidating if you didn’t know her

but she’s chill dw

she put all of her energy into sports and she excelled

jiyoung is so talented in all of her sports

but her favorite is soccer

mainly because her dad was so good at soccer, she loves how she can relate with him

she’s generally happiest when she’s playing sports

she enjoys being the baby of the family tho

jiyoung is pretty independent in most situations

but when she’s around her sisters, she changes lol

like a lot of people think that she’s super cool and independent and no one can hold her down

but the second jieun needs help with something, jiyoung is on her way ASAP

jiyoung wasn’t super needy or high maintenance

she would just appreciate everything you would buy for her

she had really tan skin because she was out in the sun tho

even tho it’s “against the beauty standard” to have tan skin

she embraced it

jieun, the beauty guru of the entire group, said that jiyoung and the best skin

jia is willing to fight ANYONE who makes fun of jiyoung’s skin tone

jiyoung embraced herself and loved herself from such an early age

she’s best friends with yuta’s youngest son, nakamoto itsuki

itsuki is also a soccer prodigy

they relate a lot with soccer

they honestly compliment each other so well

like itsuki is a little goofy and stuff

and so is jiyoung

they both are super tan and athletic too

they just were meant to be from such an early age

jiyoung wasn’t really into things that were super feminine tho

she prefers “dirt over skirts”

jiyoung is such a hard worker

like she works through all of her sore muscles and everything

but she just does such a good job and maintains a positive attitude

>> as a teen/adult <<

a soccer player ™

she goes and plays professionally

she’s just so gosh darn athletic it’s so cool

she just genuinely enjoys playing soccer

jiyoung does have those days where she pushed herself too hard

but she just needs to see her family one more time to get back into the swing of things

whichever team she’s on, she becomes the face of the team

jiyoung honestly has the brightest smile and everyone loves it

when she speaks in any situation that’s not a soccer game, she speaks in tiny

but when she’s out on the field

she’s LOUD

so LOUD

she doesn’t know why she’s so quiet off the field but she just is lol

she starts to take an interest in fashion and such after establishing herself as a professional soccer player

jieun is like “dw jiyoung, i gotchu bb”

jieun knows her sister’s aesthetic and just rolls with it

jiyoung wears everything jieun tells her too

like even tho jiyoung has taken an interest in fashion, she sucks at choosing her own outfits lol

itsuki and jiyoung get together

everyone knew it was gonna happen lol

they were honestly soulmates from the second they met

athletic power couple of the century

if they have a match on the same night, they’ll wear the same color headbands and shoes

they do subtle things

like the even have customized cleats with each other’s names in them

on their biggest game days, they wear those cleats

honestly, it’s the cutest

like ugh

i guess you can say that itsuki and jiyoung are goals *badum tssssss*

jungwoo just wants to be there for all of her matches

jiyoung makes sure that the two of you get season tickets to the best seats in the stadium

jungwoo is so happy whenever he sees all of his daughters happy and together

he wouldn’t trade it for anything.

---

junguwu really out here with the uwuest family of them all :,)

i hope you guys liked it! i was struggling a bit with these three because i knew how they were in my head but i just couldn’t put it to words haha

anyway, lucas’s family is next~

- amy <3

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freewheelshippin · 5 years ago

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30 utapri questions!

Thanks @dekiaibadchoices for the tag, this was an awesome way to wind down after a ton of nonstop busy busy busy!!! (and thanks for tagging this blog vs the general utapri one so i can REALLY gush LOL) Here’s the OG meme!

1. Your best boy?

BANANAMAN RAN WHO ELSE

2. Your least favorite boy?

“least favorite” implies dislike which...not true! truthfully it’s much of HEAVENS by nature of ‘I haven’t spent as much time getting to know these characters so I don’t really know who they are.’ (though I already know I love to go for drinks and snacks with Van hehe) i do like all of HEAVENS quite a bit from what i’ve seen so far but that affection has not had time to ripen!

3. A character that you never thought you would love as much as you do now?

mnmnj ranran tbh

4. A character you can relate to in any way?

I can’t answer everything with Ranmaru but like. His ambition, straightforwardness, and how the soul and spirit of music motivate him to move forward beyond a tough past are things I same hat so much ;; But HONESTLY I also relate a lot to Masa and Tokiya, especially in their moments of self-doubt and dramatic commitment to to their art?

5. A character that you think deserves more love?

Oh, Cecil, without a doubt. He’s such a resilient, committed, and open-hearted cutie and gets really shafted by canon tbh. Which makes it harder for everyone to see what a great boy this sweetie is! But I appreciate how Shining Live has given him some room to have really cute and standout moments so everyone can love him more but okay like, give me more Ceci and Ran palling around I love him most when they’re up to shenanigans

6. A character you would want as your partner?

well we’re posting this fuckin here so you all fuckin know (im very embarrass rn i can barely say it lmao)

(for the record i would also very much like to be friends with reiji and syo, they are cool people i think i’d get along with! and i know myself, if i knew otoya or masato IRL i’d just be like ‘well. that’s my son now’ and basically appoint myself their tough big sis-type-friend lookin out for them lol)

7. A character you would want as your mentor/senpai?

I would swallow a pinecone before I called him ‘onii-san’ but teach me how to network kotobuki-senpai

(No, like, forreal, I suck so, so bad at a ton of stuff Reiji is aces at, and I respect the hell out of his *waves* general everything and skilll navigating the industry. Since I’m a goofy, jokey, overenthusiastic teacher for work a lot it’d be nice to be on the receiving end of all that energy! and be a fucking decent kouhai that isn’t so horribly unappreciative of all his hard work and good cheer )

8. Your favorite ship?

shut your whore mouth i dont have the marbles to write it out

(tbh it’s also Haru/Tomo, I just feel so much more romantic chemistry between those two than Haru and any of the boys u___u Friends’ selfship stuff goes without saying, haha, and ngl I’m kind of About a Ren/Van rivalry hatemance? can i call it a kismesis thing? it’s a kismesis thing.)

(actually no I think I’m just a member of the “Ren Fucks and sometimes it’s Hatesex” club)

9. A character that you want to cosplay/have already cosplayed?

I had plans to cosplay Ranmaru a couple months ago bc it’s really not much of a stretch for my wardrobe, haha, but I dunno about that anymore! Part of it was wanting the Euphoria of looking like a tough, twunky, princely anime character but tbqh I’m already that every day of my life so

I suppose if you were to pull my leg I’d go for cosplaying Van, mostly because I wanna try that mullet on for myself.

10. Favorite side character?

TOMO!! LOVE U BITCH WHEN WILL I HEAR U SINGGGGGG

11. Your favorite solo song?

god this is horrible how can I decide??? so many good ones??? I think it’s a draw between Top Star Revolution, No. 1, Brand New Melody, Wild Soul, Seien Brave Heart, and Junketsu Nara Ai ~Aspiration~ ???

12. Your favorite duet song?

HMMMMM again too many good ones. Three-way tie between Haru Hana, NorthWind and SunShine, and Original Resonance!

13. Your favorite trio song?

Ahhh Dream More than Love is really nostalgic bc it’s the first Utapri song I really loved, but i gotta be real. It’s just Egoistic. There’s just no getting better than Egoistic

14. Your favorite group song?

mmmm i’m be basic. Poison Kiss

15. Your least favorite song?

I love Ai and Shouta Aoi’s incredible voice but......I’m really not a fan of super slow, overly-saccharine songs. u__u so A.I. really, really doesn’t land with me, much less so than easygoing (like Knocking on the Mind) or somber (like Winter Blossom) songs.

16. Your favorite singer?

ranran...it’s always ranran...

(I do also adore Natsuki’s and Camus’s voices! I tend to like deeper, richer vocal qualities, but you just can’t beat Ranmaru’s subtle growls and high-energy rock!!!! <3)

17. Your favorite group/trio/duo?

god what combo of these idiots DONT i love? I could watch Reiji prank and tease Ranmaru all fuckin day, and I also really like it when Ran’s at his most ‘tuff big bro-y’ with, like, Ai, Otoya, and Cecil!!! but honestly I do like how the Ran/Masa/Ren trio isn’t so straightforward and is more or less held together by a thin string of professionalism, there’s something i appreciate about not forcing ppl to just bury the hatchet and be Perfect Friends but you all can still care about each other? (Ranmaru needs to be nicer to them still but...)

i need to suggest one that isn’t ranmaru centric fjdsioafjsa i fuckin love Soccer Buds (otosyo) and I loooooove it when Otoya and Cecil are good to each other!!!

18. Your favorite member of Starish?

they’re all my favorite but if you REALLY had to make me pick.....Masato, probably, haha. I just...if you take yourself too seriously and care so much about everything but still know how to be Nasty how can I not love you???

19. Your favorite member of Quartet Night?

what do you fuckin think, hoss

20. Your favorite member of Heavens?

I mentioned earlier I don’t really know Heavens well, so ofc this is all liable to change! But off the bat I love what a conniving yet wholesome bastard Eiichi is and Van is just the kinda guy I would rib and pal around with IRL!!

21. Your favorite seiyuu/voice actor?

Ahhh that’s tough! I love all these goofbags, and Tattsun really is just so cool and makes music I’m pretty about. But I think I gotta give it to Suwabe, his performances are always so him but still pretty varied, and how can you not adore a man who loves his chihuahuas that much???

(if i’m being 100% honest Tattsun lost points bc he voices my absolute least favorite character in granblue ffjsfjisda)

22. Favorite Drama CD?

HMMMMMMM see as a certified Giant Tool for Everything Mecha and silly and extra, I enjoyed the hell out of Polaris, but it really suffers from a lack of Ranmaru in my humble fuckin opinion lmao. So even though I’m not one for pirate stuff most of the time, I gotta give it to Pirates of the Frontier!! I really loved Ranmaru and Otoya’s dynamic in that one, and Camus was juuuuust the right amount of shitheel, too.

I haven’t heard the whole thing but that thing from Egoistic where Natsuki squeezes Ranmaru to death and Eiichi’s just like ‘WUAHAHAHAHAH’ is also the mcfuckin best.

23. Your favorite shining live card?

CAN’T PICK

HOW COULD I POSSIBLY PICK?????????? LIKE??? I love the fucking dumb, dumb, dumb ostentatiousness of Evil Villains, I LOVE a good heel, and I also worked so so hard to t1 that event and had a lot of fun doing it!! But also, I just love his big smile and all the energy and mixed prints from Fortune and Prosperity, and it was literally the first time I ever got the exact card I was rolling for in a gacha on the last pull I had left!! (He also came home during a time I was really going through some shit, and ngl it rescued me a little bit!) but AHHHH Soulful Bass also came out right around my birthday, I love all the textures in the outfit and it’s generally the most My Aesthetique thing Utapri has ever released!!! And god, I just love it when he’s so confident and in his element like this, it sets me on FIRE to see him light up the stage wurghjgfj ;___; They all make me just want to HUG SO MUCH ARGGHHHHH

24. Your favorite song beatmap?

Ahhh I think Shining Live really has great beatmaps across the board so that’s a tough pick! Almost all of them are super fun in their own way, but I think I gotta hand it to Wild Soul, Top Star Revolution, and Innocent Wind!

25. Your least favorite song beatmap?

A.I. u__u Sorry, Ai...it’s just not fun for me.

26. Black Deja Vu or White Gravity?

Actually I’m really glad for this question bc I’ve been so busy lately I hadn’t given myself the time to really check them out! checking .........

and yep. Black Deja Vu. (I mean...Ranmaru is on it, haha.) But I’m so about this. Love this heavier sound and all these harmonies, this is so juicy. (White Gravity also absolutely kicks ass though!! I’m really liking that voice group, it’s making especially good use of those higher registers!)

27. Utapri merch that you own/want?

Honestly I don’t have much u__u Not a lot of Utapri merch is my thing...you know? I’m mostly shopping for Ran merch if I’m getting any, but I’m very picky about how he gets drawn? Keeping his toughness and a particular clothing style about him is so essential, haha, and barely anything hits that sweet spot for me. But I will say I adored the whole ‘My Favorite Things’ series, and if I had the budget and space atm I’d love to get some of the Ran goodies from that line!

28. How did you get into Utapri?

I first heard about it through some acquaintances from cosplay before Quartet Night was a thing. It didn’t appeal enough to my heavy metal ass to make me drop everything and try it, but I did have an interest in it I couldn’t explain and I’d always intended on trying it out. (especially after I got into Love Live and idol anime for a bit.) But it was Shining Live that got me! And I really only downloaded Shining Live because I was super exhausted after a business trip, didn’t want to leave bed once I got back home, and just wanted to sink my teeth in something new I could enjoy for hours while lying down, haha.

29. A set theme in shining live that you want to see in the future?

This will surprise nobody, but something tougher. More rock, more punk, more metal. I want all of them in studs and spikes and leather, and I want less polish. More rough!

I’d also love a wrestler set complete with who’s-a-heel-who’s-a-face but that’s a pipe dream and a half, lmao.

30. Why do you love your best boy?

Oh boy.

I think he’s this powerhouse of a human bean who can face a ton of pain and meet it with a big middle finger. And that middle finger is chasing after ambitious dreams, of spreading the power and soul of the same music that made me who I am and influences so much of my work, but also being ... you know, smart about it? He’s an idol because like, sure, maybe it’s not the OG dream, but you can’t dream if you’re dead, and you also deserve to give yourself a life and platform to share some of who you are, and you can do a lot of good with that, too. (And I won’t lie, I respect the drama of a man who takes his hair that seriously and commits so hard to the aesthetic he wears fuckin mismatched contacts i just. charm point )

But at the same time....I don’t know, this might sound presumptuous, but. I think. I just think he’d think I’m as neat as I think he is. I’m an ambitious, passionate person, too, and I also furiously stick to my ideals, and I also love the same kind of soul of music he does. I lean a little more metal than I do rock, but I think that’s nice, like sharing it has that ‘alike but different’ kind of familiarity and novelty all at once. Sometimes it’s tough sharing just how deeply rock and metal have sculpted me and my artwork (and therefore my career), bc it’s so deeply personal to me, and sometimes there’s weird elitism/misogyny/racism to deal with, too. But. The way he talks about rock, the way he describes the passion and how it transcends identity and is just a pure rush of power and sharing your feelings..................it just feels like he Gets it the same way I do. Just that unspoken, burning passion and understanding. I know it sounds weird to feel that strongly over just a music genre, but I just vibe with how to him, it really isn’t ‘just’ a music genre. I feel more accepting of myself for it, and I’d like to think he’d be real proud of himself for that.

And listen, like....I’m very sentimental, but I really don’t like saccharine, flowery, romantic kinds of affection to be lavished on me. Just be straightforward but also a little tsun about it fjdsjfas and ..... those are the kind of feelings I can accept. And that’s the way Ranmaru is, and it’s also grounded in the kind of reality that I don’t like to be swept away from. He’s just so cool and hardworking and unwavering in his passion, it makes it easier for me to do the same despite all the bumps in the road. This got real long but Ran’s a cool dude, haha, I got a lot of positives to say.

Anyways, I never tag folks for these things, but I love seeing everyone’s answers! If you see this and wanna fill it, feel free to count this as a tag from me :) I know this got real long, but with 30 questions how could it not haha? Thanks for reading and sticking around!

#iron maiden & rocka rolla #memery #long post

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moldy-mold · 5 years ago

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Diary Post: My Thoughts and Processes on Making “Silent Strength” It’s lengthy, taking place over long period of time. Mainly written for my future-self to remember what I went through, but also for anyone who is curious. Now that the project is over, I can post without reservations. There are certain things I need to keep secret though, so if I’m vague I do so intentionally!

Basically, a lot of number-crunching, physical labor, and psychological labor.

It started off as kind of a joke tweet I made. I had enough content to make a Tales Of art book and people were receptive to it. So… I thought maybe I could go somewhere with this. A few weeks later, I suddenly had a lot of Kratos art. Like. 80% of all my Tales art was Kratos. It didn’t make sense to make a broad Tales Of book when really most of it was Kratos.

I hadn’t made a book since I was in college despite it being one of my favorite things to do. They were never art books, just some editorial design projects that totally didn’t count. This book… would be my first-ever art book.

Several times, I came close to having enough art to print a book - the last time was my large collection of Yusuke Kitagawa, but the quality wasn’t where I wanted. At that time, I was still experimenting with my iPad Pro and figuring out Procreate, so that was what I used him for.

NGL, I was pretty afraid of looking like a clown. After doing all this work, what if no one actually buys it? I was talking to some friends and they said they would buy it. It was enough for me. In the end, I’m creating something that I love. - The first thing I really wanted to work on was the cover. It needed to be epic but also mysterious (lol)… It was a good time to practice lighting and backgrounds. The cover had to be freaking Fantastic. I spent 3 days drawing nonstop. I was on vacation so I could spend full days just drawing. It was really intense. I would stop in the evenings to go for a run or else my legs would never get circulation again.

The hardest part was keeping it secret. I wanted to share it with the world right away bc I was so proud of it. Well, all I could do was show it to my parents and some close friends. They didn’t know who Kratos is, but it was obvious I was crazy about him.

Initially, I was doing some hand-lettering for the zine title instead of using a typeface. Tbh, I was so sure I was naming this zine “Blame Your Fate!” bc that is such an iconic line. But it just didn’t work with my cover, which looked… a little too serene for that. So… Silent Strength or Divine Strength? I asked around and got my answer.

But what size? All of my art has been on letter canvases. I wanted it to be large so you could see the details in the art. I’ll just start with that. - Luckily, I had all my Kratos-related art in one place. I started my InDesign file and threw everything in there just to see what it looked like. Man, I draw a lot of boxes… But I didn’t want them all next to each other. I also wanted to kinda organize it by the people Kratos hangs out with. There’s a Yuan section LOL… and a Lloyd section… and an Anna section. Idk, I tried to get some kind of order in there with a sprinkling of full spreads here and there to keep it fresh and interesting for the eyes.

I hadn’t worked with InDesign on such an intense level since college. I forgot all of the tips and tricks we learned in class. Spent some time reading on how to do things again… like adding page numbers. - I started drafting my pre-order form. It’s my first time making a google form like this. It’s kind of fun? I spent a long time on it, despite how simple it was. This was going to be my “Store” so it had to look and sound good. - My friend introduced me to charm-making. It seemed easy enough, and I wanted to give my zine more oomph. Besides, I’ve always wanted to make a charm.

I remember someone saying they’d buy a book of just the 4 Seraphim if it existed. I like them too and they lack art imo. In the end, I decided to do a polaroid charm. It’s not really that unique but I wanted Kratos to have actual friends to hang out with for once LOL.

She was going to do a group order to try to reduce the costs. I thought maybe 4 weeks would give me enough time. In the end she said I only have 2. I work well under pressure, so needless to say, I did make that deadline. I actually sketched the whole thing on the plane headed home. - After playing the game the second time, watching the OVA again, and reading “Offerings to a Star,” I have gained a real soft spot for Yuan. My friend once said, “If you weren’t stolen away by Kratos, you would be in love with Yuan.” Lol. I’ve been in a “Kratos and Yuan hanging out” mood lately, so of course I needed something good for the zine. They’re so cute together! Now… what is the bro-est thing I can draw?

I was currently in Florida for my friend’s wedding. I was friends with the groom and his best man since high school, so that makes it 10 years now. Seeing how they’re still friends after all this time, despite living in opposite sides of the country, was really moving to me. Of course, me being me, I could see Kratos and Yuan’s long friendship being similar to this, if they had gone to school together. I just had to draw it. - When I got back from vacation, I did some research on zine sizes. Mine was HUGE compared to others. I just didn’t quite realize it until I held a magazine in my hands. It really is huge…

I settled for a medium size. 7x9. I really liked how it looked. Petite but not too petite. Unfortunately resizing my book had messed up my artwork placement so I spent hours rearranging all the text and resizing my images. I found out afterwards that there’s a way to retain the format while changing the document size. Gee, that would have been helpful 4 hours ago.

Sadly, choosing a custom size booklet makes printing more expensive. But I wanted it badly enough that I’d be willing to pay for it. Letter size is just too large… - I decided to stop dragging my feet and post a promo. I just really needed a deadline for myself to get this all done before July ended. I’m happy it was well-received. A lot of people like Kratos huh…

Anyway, the pre-order is due in a week and I still don’t know what all the costs are yet. I need a physical proof ASAP to weigh at the post office! - Something possessed me one day to do another drawing. I don’t usually do painterly style (mainly because it’s really difficult and takes 10x longer) but I just REALLY wanted to push myself on this Final Piece to the zine. I wanted it to be… radiant. Almost religious. I worked on it obsessively. From breakfast to sundown. The only time I would stop was at 7pm to go running or else my legs would give out on me.

Call me crazy, but I would save my progress on my phone so I could examine it for errors during my warmup. I also spend an hour examining it for errors before going to bed. It’s a miracle I hadn’t dreamt of the painting. - I sent my files in on Sunday in hopes that they start working on it first thing on Monday…. and it HAPPENED! They finished before I even woke up. I think they start work at like 6am…

Of course, I drove over there as soon as I heard so I can get a look. “Please… please let the colors be okay,” I prayed as I was driving. I barely remember driving there, I was so lost in thought. It would be another long ordeal if I had to fix all the colors.

Thank the stars. The press proof looked BEAUTIFUL!! I was screaming to the client coordinator how much I loved it. I mean, I worried for a looooong time that everything would turn out too dark (it usually does) but it was PERFECT. I was especially worried about the cover, which contained a lot of yellow and I def did not want it to come out mustardy… But it was great in the end!

The press operator is a quiet man. He’s got a scary face and never smiles but I think he’s secretly nice. He has done a lot of favors for me in the past without my asking. He was the one to print, bind, and trim the book for me. Obviously he had to have seen what I was drawing. I wonder what he thought of it…? He walked away before I could express how happy and thankful was. He didn’t need to hear it. It was like he already knew. So cool…

I immediately took it to the post office to weigh it. I needed as much info as I could get and plus, I was dying to know for myself. This is the week I was supposed to open pre-orders and there was still a lot I needed to do. Take pictures, create mockups, pricing, etc.

NGL, all of these costs were building up fast. It was so darn expensive to make a zine while also keeping prices down. But I wanted so much more for my baby. Extra glossy cover, perfect binding!! I knew by the end of this, I probably wouldn’t make much money. It hurt a little, but I tried to think that it was for the greater good. Learning experience and all that. And creating something beautiful. Especially something beautiful of Kratos. - Pricing was really the hardest part. I pretty much threw profit out the window. However, I definitely did not want to be losing money. My dad and I had worked together to create a spreadsheet of expenses to make sure my head was above water. I followed it… loosely.

My friend came to talk to me at the right moment. I was sort of panicking at the prices. She made me realize I was thinking way too hard about it and gave me some tips based on her own experience. It really put my mind at ease talking to someone who understands my woes.

The truth of the matter is, the book is wonderfully made and has a lot of pages - countless hours of drawing. There is only so much I can do about pricing. It is what it is… I just needed to come to terms with my own worth. - Boy, what am I going to do once the zine is done? My friend says that I’ll be so over Kratos that I’ll stop drawing him (but the love remains). It’s like… all of the intense planning, working, struggling nonstop will just suddenly… stop. TBH, I’m running out of ideas. I spent it all on the zine. - Photoshoot today. I had to paint my nails purple for this occasion. Unfortunately, I couldn’t get the look I wanted in the apartment. It’s just so naked without props. I think I’ll take it to a cafe for some nicer backgrounds. I talked it over with my friend and decided to do a quick flip-through of the zine as a promotional video. I used the most professional video program I had on hand… Snapchat. It actually turned out pretty legit and of course I slapped stickers on there because it’s Snapchat.

I had to tape/hide some of the pages for the video because I wasn’t actually done with the drawings. I had the printers print it anyway so I could examine it for color accuracy.

I’m really stressed about pricing now. It turns out I had a lot more international fans than I anticipated. I wish I took notes on interest earlier in the game to cater to them. I had a list of “possible buyers” and I only just now decided to check where they live? Foolish.

I did another cost analysis on paper to figure out what my goal was to make up for the charms. Right now they’ve cost me a fortune for something that was supposed to be giveaway. Other things that rack up are packaging costs, PayPal fees, and some other supplies I needed for this project.

Maybe I shouldn’t have made it 40 pages. It is an impressive number, but no one is really paying for quantity. I think 25 is a better number lol. If I had done that, I could have had my super-gloss cover like I wanted. :’(

There is hope though. And I’ve placed it in the hands of my followers to come through for me. I think I’ll open pre-orders on Saturday or Sunday, depending on what I finish. - “Losing your cool will only lead to poor decisions.”  Thanks, Kratos twitter bot. You always know what to say.

I read this post today on what makes people buy zines. Very interesting!  https://twitter.com/andythelemon_/status/1141469048653398019 - Photoshoot part 2 today. My friend and I went to a cafe nearby that had some nice atmosphere in hopes of finding the right shots. I brought all of my Kratos merch just in case. I’m glad I did though, since the tables were pretty sparse and it was difficult to capture the backgrounds without getting a bunch of random people in it too.

I would have been the photographer, but I definitely wanted my hands in the shots. In a way, it was meaningful - to show that this was made by my own two hands. Plus, I wanted to depict natural interaction with the product. It made it feel real.

The photos were cute! I feared it would look a little amateurish with all the merch in there, but I think fun was what I was really going for, not “professional.” And plus the flip-through was a Snap anyway LOL. As long as the photos have good lighting and tasteful composition, you really can’t go wrong with “fun.”

Now that I’ve finished editing my photos, there really isn’t anything holding me back from opening pre-orders. I’ve pretty much come to terms with my pricing. If I fail to break even, I’ll just have to open commissions to try to make up for it. I was telling my friend on the way home, “I gave this zine EVERYTHING I had to give. So at the very least, I won’t be disappointed in myself.” No stone left unturned, no detail left unchecked. It was perfect according to my standards. I really love my zine okay?!

I thought I was crazy for not only choosing a small fandom, I narrowed it down even further by picking ONE GUY to make this zine about. She replied, “Even if it’s small, those people who love him now must be EXTREMELY LOYAL to still be in love with a character from a 15-year-old game. All of them will want your zine.” - I went to bed that night with the intention of making the pre-order post live in the morning. I was so nervous I couldn’t sleep. I was wide awake until at least 5 or 6 am. Luckily, I was able to doze off for a an hour or two before I would shake myself awake again. It was a mixture of anxiety and excitement. It was the moment of truth - to see if all my effort made a difference. Was it going to sell? - The pre-order post looked really freaking good. I’ll give it that. I even made a YT account just to post that darn preview video on tumblr lol. It was definitely fun seeing everyone’s excitement and we all just freaked out together.

I broke even! That’s what really matters. Honestly at this point, I couldn’t care less if I made profit or not. I now know how much people really like the zine and that alone made me so happy I could die.

I was particularly fascinated at Google Form’s ability to transfer all the data collected into a spreadsheet. That is extremely helpful. I spent hours organizing the data. It was really fun…?! Now I can tell who gets invoiced and who paid and separate them into categories. IT’S FANTASTIC!

Stayed up late researching how much adding tracking could be. I had a slight panic attack thinking “what if my books got lost in transit?” It would really hurt me to have to reprint books and ship them again. And then I realized I will need to fill out customs forms for all international orders. Yikes, I’m gonna be living at the post office lol. You can print them out at home if you fill out the form online but there are still some things I’m uncertain about. I may visit the post office later this week to ask all my questions. - This morning I sent out everyone’s invoices. I gave the international people the option to purchase tracking. It’s expensive… but I need to provide that option just in case.

I received a nice message from someone who offered to advertise for me on Instagram. Of course, I gave them the OK! I’m really so shocked they would do that… They said the liked the zine so much it deserved more exposure. My dude… I love you… T_T

I thought about advertising on insta myself earlier in the week. For some reason I felt it was going to be fruitless since I don’t have an art account on there with a following. So, I gave up on the idea. Hey it worked out in the end.

I’ve never been so organized in my entire life. I want this zine experience to be perfect. The people have placed their trust in me, so I cannot mess up. - Edited some pages in the zine. The typography must be perfect… It made me think back to undergrad days in graphic design school. Man, if only I can present this as a project - photos, videos, matching accessories and all. I’d probably get an A lol. - Orders slow down after the first day. The rest is just about getting new people to see the post and giving other people more time to decide.

I finished my Kratos stationery today. It’s going to be so cute. My friend said people would want to buy it but I don’t have it in me to do more products at this time. Plus, I want it to be a surprise.

Why make stationery? Well my real job (no, I don’t draw Kratos all day for a living) is a stationery designer! It would feel really wrong not to put into practice what etiquette I’ve learned in this business. Plus, I felt that it was necessary to properly thank all those who ordered. And it’s fun?

I started designing the shipping labels for the domestic orders since I don’t need to fill out a customs form for those. I wish I had sticker labels but… it’s okay. It will still look good in the end. - Every so often, I would get nervous at the amount of money I’m responsible for. Perhaps, if I had a store with existing products I wouldn’t feel this way, but the fact that the books haven’t been printed yet made me scared. I know, I need this money to even print the books in the first place, but I’m just baffled at my customers’ trust in almost a total stranger. I felt pressured that I could not let them down and lose that trust. It probably didn’t help that I watched a documentary on Elizabeth Holmes (Theranos) that day.

So, I prayed every single day that nothing would go wrong. I’d check my spreadsheet constantly for any mistakes. It was a little obsessive, but I would rather be that than overlook something.

I began collecting cardboard boxes. My plan was to cut them up to protect the books during transit. I would have preferred hard envelopes but they were a bit pricey. If I have to do more work myself, so be it.

I’ve been getting nice DMs from some buyers. I think my invoice due date scared them… I really did not intend to be strict, but I wanted people to pay now if they can rather than forget about it. This happens at work all the time, so the best thing to do is have it due immediately. It would not look good to have to wait on stragglers when I close pre-orders, so I’ll probably reach out when there is one week left. - My Kratos stationery arrived! Aww it is SO CUTE!!! My babies… I have a lot of notes to write so I got started right away. It’s going to be a lot of work trying to come up with creative ways to say “thank you,” but I don’t mind. I said I was going to put my all into the zine experience so I will.

At long last, the charm order has been put in motion. My friend said it could take a while… I hope it won’t be longer than 3 weeks. I really do not want to keep everyone waiting. I may ship out the ones who did not win a charm first. I mean, there is no reason to make those guys wait. I should ask the charm winners if they still want to wait and see if anyone wants to give it up for someone else who is more patient. Hm. - I finally stopped by the post office today to collect customs forms. I have my work cut out for me since I’m filling all of them in by hand. D:

I’m not used to international addresses so I think I’ll ask for help in checking them for spelling errors and typos. Heaven forbid I mess up on the very last part of the zine experience.

In my nervousness, I decided to reach out about invoices early on. If someone wanted to cancel, I would rather find out sooner rather than later. Everyone was really nice about paying and thank goodness they’re still excited.

Feeling kind of overwhelmed by all the things I need to do, but it’s a good thing. If I don’t know what to do, I can either: cut cardboard, write letters, type shipping labels, draw more Kratos for a… possible volume 2? Someone I talked to today already said they’ll pre-order a second book if I make one. Omg I think I’ll die. But we’ll see. It’s just a joke right now haha… - Preorders end today. I had another nightmare last night that the books could not be printed properly and there was nothing I could do. Why do I keep getting nightmares about the zine! I had one a few days before about people canceling their orders when I asked them about the invoices. I’ll take these dreams with a grain of salt. I’m probably just stressed/worried but everything is going to be okay. When I open my eyes, nothing is on fire.

I received my final proof a few days ago. With all of the artwork completed and changes applied. The book looks good, no doubt about it. There was only one thing I was nit-picky about but it can be fixed. The press operator offered to print another book for me to inspect. I’ll go see it on Monday and then submit the rest of the orders. I also asked to to have a meeting with the press operator so we are on the same page. It would be beneficial to have an understanding of how my book is made so that I may be more helpful to him.

I spent the day preparing shipping labels. I hate to admit, I am not too familiar with the format international addresses so I had an address validator open as I was typing them in. For the most part, everyone was helpful in already formatting their addresses in the preorder form! - My parents called me the day after preorders were closed. They wanted to say congratulations on my success. No one thought it would do this well. I couldn’t be offended by that since I was also guilty of it. I’m happy though. It feels like my love spread across the world and was contagious.

I tried to think of what advice I would give to others. Obviously, genuine love for the subject and hard work were a necessity. But it would be good to consider value. If I were selling it at this price, I had to make sure my pieces and presentation looked the part. I ask myself, if someone else sold it, would I buy it?

I sent out messages to all the charm winners in the morning. I wanted to apologize profusely at the ridiculous amount of time it has taken to get them made. But no, I’ve got to stop apologizing. I stated the facts and left it at that. Everyone was really kind and patient⁠—to which I was thankful for. I don’t usually get that when I’m working customer service. - All the books were done printing in one day. Wow! I went to pick it up immediately of course. I can’t believe all of this is coming to an end. I finished preparing the mailers. All that was left was to stuff and seal the domestic orders. They were the easiest to do so I’m going to ship those first. The rest will need customs forms, which I haven’t filled out just yet. It’s going to be a while for those…

The mailers were quite sturdy with the cardboard cutouts I slipped in them. I have nothing to worry about. I’m sure my babies will be okay! - I took a whole box of domestic orders to the post office today. Wasn’t sure what to expect. But my clerk had to input every single address one at a time while I checked for errors. Omg, why are the post office shipping labels SO HUGE. I thought it was going to be half the size. And they’re ruining my designer labels! Slight panic but oh well…

I had a long long line behind me. I’m so sorry, people. Luckily there were two clerks or I would be really sweating. Despite my intimidating box of zines, the clerk and I had Synergy and we managed to ship all of these in about 15 minutes. I received a very long receipt and quite the bill lol. - Shipped the international orders today. I was kind of a mess since I had no idea what to do. I keep wondering if I can help speed up the process in any way but I don’t think I have the option to ship first-class at home.

When shipping international, keep the post office copy of the customs forms together with the package since they use that to type the address info into the system. Also, we get free tracking, which I did not know about. The other clerk told me that we did not get tracking for international first-class but I guess he was misinformed. It’s good to know for next time. - The charms finally arrived!! And THEY’RE HOLOGRAPHIC?! It was pretty awesome, but it makes picture-taking kind of difficult!! Anyway, I was a tiny bit disgruntled that they got my order incorrect, and I even asked for a reprint. But they said no, so I left it at that. Besides, it seems the holographic effect was well-received.

I like this size that I made. It’s really cute! Larger than your normal charm but not too huge. It’s almost like an Instax photo! - There was one customer who I found lives near me! I asked her if she wanted me to hand-deliver it to her in a public setting and she agreed (to my amazement). We finally met a few days ago and talked for hours and hours lol! I’m glad to have finally made a new friend here in this town but of course she’s moving away in two weeks. <:’3

We’re going to meet again to make the most of her time left. - I shipped the rest of the orders on the following Monday. I HAD to get these out. The poor guys have been waiting over a month! I think I picked a bad time to go because I had a huge line behind me and only one guy working. People in line were getting antsy or mad. The clerk at the other post office was super fast but not this guy…

For some reason shipping to the UK and Japan nearly doubled in price since the last time I checked. RIP. T_T - Omg I finally made a mistake. I wrote a letter to the wrong person. And the contents of that letter are too personalized!!! I am dying of embarrassment!!!!! Screams!! Had to apologize to both customers too!!! Luckily they were good sports about it but I’m seriously kicking myself AAAAAAAA!!!! - The most rewarding part after sending all my babies away is seeing the commentary on my project. It is so so nice to receive positive feedback. People are happy! Happy with something I created out of thin air. Everything was worth it 1000 times over. I can die happy!

I’m especially thankful to those who show understanding for how much effort went into it. It definitely wasn’t easy and I poured way too many hours into it… not that I regret that.

I don’t want to jump the gun but I would really love to make a volume 2. Because I know I can do better than last time. New and improved art and comics! But we’ll see if I make enough pieces for another book. I was against printing 40 pages before but now I kind of like it. It feels more worth it than a 25-page zine. If i’m going though so much effort, might as well bring in the entire package.

I’ll be printing more of this volume for Aselia Con 2020. Now I know people will appreciate it.

#diary

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caden · 6 years ago

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i feel we should examine the whole idea of “do spoilers matter” or not at a deeper level then ‘people who complain about spoilers are annoying so spoiler warnings are stupid’. like the idea that a lot of you guys seem to have of “if having the plot spoiled ruins the movie for you then the plot wasnt any good anyways” seems sort of... not fully wrong but also underdeveloped to me. like, there are tons and tons and tons of stories that are widely considered to be amazing and have clear artistic merit that you absolutely wouldn’t want spoiled. Like, you wouldnt want to know darth vader was lukes father. you wouldnt want to know bruce willis was a ghost the whole time. For drama to be effective you need tension, and a very very efficient way of keeping the audience engaged is by putting them in a mindset where they’re unsure of what will happen next, or by revealing a game-changing plot twist, or by suddenly putting a character into an unexpected position. It seems totally disingenuous to me to be like ‘well it shouldnt matter to the audience whether or not they get to be surprised by what happens in the film they’re watching’. You can’t honestly believe that to be true. Being able to be surprised by a story is like one of the fundamental draws of good storytelling and probably has been for all of human history. Imagine how much worse US or Get Out or any Shakespeare play would be if you knew exactly where the plot would go before you saw it. I know there’s some research that suggests people actually enjoy stuff more if they already know what will happen but you can cast a lot of doubt on that data-- i think that it indicates more that people are more likely to appreciate a good plot once they understand it more thoroughly, hence why you might like a great movie more the second time you watch it. That doesnt mean there isnt value in the first time, it’s just a different way of viewing it.

All that said, the stuff with people not wanting spoilers for endgame has different wrinkles to it. (dont worry im not about to spoil anything). It can’t all be chalked up to ‘people care super deeply about the characters and plot and the writing is always so unpredictable and engaging that they dont want to know a single thing before going in’. Ive spent a lot of time recently thinking about the way infinity war and endgame are constructed, and they’re made in such a way that REALLY facilitates them being ‘spoiled’. because they’re written around moments. The plot isn’t so much a naturally moving thing with motivations and momentum of its own as much as a connective tissue between various cool things happening. Like, whoa, spider-man just met the guardians of the galaxy. oh sick, theyre in wakanda. holy shit, half of them died. Endgame goes REAAAAAALLY hard on this style of writing. And as a method of milking emotion from the audience, it really really works. Assuming the moments themselves are all effective, you’re guaranteeing constant engagement because every three minutes another epic thing is gonna happen. And I think when people fault marvel fans for being obsessed with spoiler warnings, this style of filmmaking is really what they’re trying to critique. because there’s a suggestion that if your movie is just jumping from crazy twist to shocking death to funny reference to epic fight, you’re losing the thing that should actually be the connective tissue of a film-- its themes, character arcs, ideas, setting... etc. And while I personally don’t think those things are mutually exclusive, (bc i do believe that infinity war and endgame genuinely have themes they try to discuss), i would also agree with the argument that reliance on shocking moments over actual ideas is bad writing. But as I mentioned earlier, a filmmaker like Jordan Peele whose works are generally agreed to be very good also uses this writing style-- his plots escalate via twists and turns and are expertly constructed to keep the audience wondering what’ll happen next, and he does a really great job with it.

Now, i DEFINITELY think there’s an argument for ‘disney intentionally plays up the spoiler warning angle in a way that’s ultimately toxic to the filmmaking process’. Like I don’t believe that the “tom holland doesnt get to read the script” stuff is true, I 100% think it’s all a publicity stunt-- but they shouldnt be setting a precedent that makes people think doing something like that to a lead actor is acceptable. It’s not how films should be made, and the only reason I’m sure its all fake is because I have enough filmmaking experience to know itd literally be impossible to efficiently shoot a big-budget film under those conditions. Of course all the buzz about endgame spoilers is HUGELY beneficial to their marketing teams, so obviously they’re gonna go hard as hell on enforcing that narrative. Like they 100% WANT everyone to both be spoiling the movie and getting anxious about having the movie spoiled, because its all free advertising for them. But in terms of ‘big movie studios having greedy practices that harmfully affect the artistic process and make their films worse’, its incredibly low on the list of bad stuff that studios do imo.

So, like, if you’re gonna critique all the various aspects of that, I think you should A) put your efforts towards exposing all the spoiler panic through the lens of how it affects the way that films are produced and consumed, or B) put your efforts towards analyzing the media itself, watch the film and ask ‘is this film more engaging and well-made because of its reliance on moments that can be spoiled? If no, why is that not working? If yes, is that engagement coming at a cost or is it justified? Essentially, I’d like to feel that the criticism was either coming from a social angle or an artistic one. And if that were the case I think i’d have less of an issue with it. Just saying “people are dumb for caring about spoilers” is silly. Maybe it’s dumb, but that’s not the point. People will consume media however they want to and if they want to care about spoilers then they have a right to care. You guys aren’t wrong if you think marvel shit is stupid and badly made, because art is subjective and no opinion on it is wrong. But other people also aren’t wrong for liking and caring about it, and being like ‘we should spoil it for them to teach them a lesson” is gross and totally unproductive. I know 99% of it is jokes but you gotta remember that some people have spent a very long time being very excited to see this movie and doing something that wrecks that for them is just mean and inconsiderate. It’s not about whether them feeling that way is stupid or not, because yeah, it’s stupid to be that invested in superhero movies. It’s about it not being cool to intentionally hurt someone just because you can. And the reason i don’t have a lot of tolerance for it is because I feel like saying “caring about spoilers is stupid” is a kneejerk, surface level attempt at media criticism and we can do better. I obviously care pretty deeply about the way we consume and criticize pop culture and i think it’s in everyone’s benefit to have more productive discourse about this stuff. No ill will towards my friends who are saying the things that i’m ragging on, i obviously don’t think it’s coming from a malicious place or anything-- this is just my read on the situation. Was gonna post this like two days ago but then decided someone would prob message me a spoiler because of it lol

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jaeyooniverse · 5 years ago

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heres me spamming Qs (if ure still doing it....): 3, 6, 10, 21, 32 (ofc if u feel like answering them (☞ﾟ∀ﾟ)☞)

oh sure!! sorry i fell asleep before answered this haha 😅

3. rant. just do it

i feel like this will be moreso venting/rambling than ranting but um anyway

something that's been on my mind is how society gives us the when timeline of how our lives should go. go to school, graduate HS, go to uni, graduate, get a job. And honestly I wouldnt feel so bad about that if it wasn't all so rushed. I'm supposed to know what I want to do with my life by the time I enter college? When it seems a lot of schools barely help you explore the many different options there are?

And what sucks is that I did have a few ideas of what i wanted to do. but a combination of low self-confidence and being encouraged to pursue more realistic, "practical" careers deterred me from them. i wanted to be a fashion designer as a kid/teen. I loved drawing and designing clothes. I wanted to join a fashion camp where they taught you how to make your designs a reality. but i didnt feel like that dream was really supported? my mom was probably the main supporter of that dream and even encouraged me to design something for her and she'd take it to a tailor to have it made. but after she passed away I lost that support and pretty much any aspiration for anything. I dropped the fashion designer idea (school/homework made me lose time to do art anyway, so I lost touch with it). math was one of my favorite subjects so i slowly came to the idea of being a math teacher. this was wholeheartedly encouraged by my family so that's what I stuck with, even tho I wasnt really sure that's what i wanted to do. it was something I could tolerate the thought of

One thing I had been interested in was language/linguistics. I think i would have majored in it for college but I wasnt sure what I wanted to do with it or what I could do with it, plus my aunt thought that was silly since I already wanted to do math 🙃

Anyway fast forward to senior year of uni, I've literally gone through 7+ semesters on the math education program but at the end of my fall semester, I quit. (I still graduated on time, just under a different math degree program) I had been a student teacher for about 2 semesters and by the end of the second one I just decided that wasnt what I wanted to do. I didnt feel comfortable being in front of the classroom and I wasnt passionate enough about being a teacher to stick through until it became comfortable.

I had to reflect and think about whether or not I really wanted to go through something I merely tolerated, mostly because I knew it was something my family wanted for me. so I called my dad up and talked to him, telling him I never felt like I was ready to go into teaching (part of me wants to, but I dont feel like now is the time)

still, I feel like the only reason he was receptive is because I had another idea in mind. I've been looking into computational linguistics programs bc it's something I think captures a lot of my interests, and I'd be interested working in that field.

but I kind of wish I had someone sit down and talk to me about my options and what my goals were before I found myself with one semester left of college, having a breakdown over how I spent my last 3 and a half years and where the rest of my life was headed

anyway I'm still trying to figure out life and I'm not 100% confident in anything but I'm trying to be patient with myself, and find something that makes me happy and something I can proudly tell my family I want to pursue

I could ramble more but this has gotten a lot longer than I thought it would lolll

6. how many pairs of shoes do you have?

too many but not enough lmao my stepmom buys me a lot of shoes for special occasions but bc they're such specific styles/colors I dont wear them very often..

I just counted 23 pairs so far but I know I have more,, my closet is a mess right now so I cant even see all my shoes haha

10. name a dog

Bbibbi!! if I had a dog I'd want a cute, small fluffy one and I affectionately call people and pets "bb" so i think bbibbi would be cute ?? idk lol

21. what’s a conspiracy you believe in?

uhh i dont really look into conspiracies so idk lol

32. how old do you get mistaken for?

hmm I think I usually get mistaken for being in my late teens? like the kids I work with will try to guess my age and some think i'm still in high school or just started college. but also sometimes when i'm out with my 15 y/o brother people think i'm his mom?? so idk LMAO

• unusual(ish) asks •

#thanks for asking!!#i want to say sorry for my rant/vent but maybe i should stop making it a habit to apologize for having thoughts&emotions? just a thought lol #asks #louise 💙

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butch-dyke-loving · 7 years ago

Note

all the lesbian asks u didnt do already

im sorry mobile users :(

Femme or butch? Butch!!!

Do you have a “type”? If so, describe itI think all girls are pretty but butch girls are beautiful

Plaid button-ups or leather jackets?I like button ups!! Although I would like to own a leather jacket

Describe your styleI usually wear sweaters with an aesthetic picture on it or flannel or a short sleeve shirt with jeans and boots.

Describe your aestheticI love pink and thats all you need to know

Favorite article of clothing?I have this one flannel that i really like and it makes me feel confident!! I got it from costco i love it

Favorite pair of shoes?I have this one pair of Timbers and i wear them ALL THE TIME,

Current haircut?long curly hair on top and short on the sides

Any haircut goals for the future?I want to cut my hair shorter aand possibly get an undercut but idk!!

Describe the best date you’ve been onMy ex took me to prom and that was a very sweet and romantic night!! During the slow song we slow danced and we kissed each other and it was just so nice. Afterwards we had to go to the bathroom bc her lipstick was on mine lmao

Describe the worst date you’ve been onall of them have been at least decent so

Single? Taken?Single!

If taken, talk about your girlfriend/wife!HA

If single, what are you looking for in a potential girlfriend/wife?someone who can communicate well would be nice. Idk i like girls who are funny, compassionate, and smart.

Do you want kids?Possibly! I do like kids

If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you live?Probably in the UK, i like constant rain so lol

What lesbian stereotypes do you fit into, if any?I have short hair, im butch, im an artist, i wear flannel

Ever been assumed to be nothing more than a gal pal?idk!

If a woman wanted to woo you, what would a surefire way to accomplish that?Compliments, going out of their way to talk to me, sharing stuff that i like with me, idk im fairly easy to please

Are you more of a cat person or a dog person?

Turn ons?i dont feel comfortable sharing this to the public but if ur that curious yall can hmu lmao

Turn offs?When someone yells at me while they’re angry, it’s not a fun feeling lol. Also drug use.

Do you usually ask other women out or do you wait for them to ask you?I’m fine doing either!

What is your dream career?Character designer!!

Talk about your interests or hobbies!I like to draw, play the ukulele, and sculpt

What is the most attractive quality a woman can have?She communicates well!

Do you love easily or does it take time for you to warm up to someone?i am infatuated way too easily lol, but i actually dont have crushes too too often?

Ever fallen for your best-friend?Nope!

Ever fallen for a straight girl?Kind of? I thought she was really pretty and i was disappointed but it wasnt a full on crush so

The L-Word: yes or no? (love it or hate it?)I haven’t watched it so im a gold star lesbian

Favorite comfort food?i like tomato soup with grilled cheese!

Coffee or tea?Tea all the way coffee is NASTY

Vegetarian? Vegan? None of the above?None of the above

Do you have any pets?I DO!! I have a cute dog named belinda and i love her, she just takes naps all day

Early-riser or night-owl?Night owl i guess?

What is your sign?Gemini

What is your Myers-Briggs type?ENFP!

Who was your first lesbian crush?Most goth cartoon characters lol, but in terms of a crush on an actual person, i had a crush on my friend kinney in 8th grade.

At what age did you know you were a lesbian?15 almost 16, but before that i use to id as bi

At what age did you come out (if you have)?I’ve been out to my friends since i knew i was gay, and im pretty out to people at my school, but my parents dont know

Are you crushing on anyone at the moment (celebrity or otherwise)?Yes definitely omg

Talk about how your day wentIt was pretty good! Im making a miniature chocolate cake out of clay!!

Talk about your dreams/aspirations for the futureI would like to have my own animated TV show!!

#long post #ty for asking!!!!

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survivor-switzerland · 7 years ago

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EPISODE 8: I ASKED LIKE FOUR DUMB QUESTIONS - JEV

Rip Queen Renee

Renee if you're reading I'm deeply sorry for not being able to do anything or just me being a sissy on making a move. I really did want us to work together but I couldn't do much because I didn't have the numbers or the balls to save you.

Okay... Now it's time to get my shit together...

Sidenote: I've been addicted in sending gifs since we lost that challenge so whatever...

Anyway here's some refreshing tea. So yeah before the vote I was talking to Nick and I brought up the possible advantages that the remaining OG Matterhorn have and he said to me that he thinks Abel has it since he was quick to pin the idol on Daisy. Nick then said that if Daisy did have an idol then she would have used it to save her allies, BUT wait here's the most interesting part. After like hours I back read my convo with Nick because I was bored and I noticed that he removed the message where he specifically said Abel's name. That's alarming and I promise I am not making this shit up! I know he dropped Abel's name.

Also some other news I think this vote strengthened my bond with Brett maybe?? Idk if he was just telling me all this stuff to not let my emotions overturn my vote since he was telling me about how I'm his favorite takeaway from this season, how I'm so like his boi Keegan and how I'm so calm when playing the game.

Me? Being calm in this game? Does he even know how I have been this last day?! I was like this.

Now that we got this challenge, we ABSOLUTELY MUST WIN THIS CHALLENGE!!

I have a feeling I'm channeling Brittany for this challenge cause I have no clue about survivor players. I have barely watched any full seasons!!!! Oops !!! Google to the rescue!!!!

EPISODE 8

I went out on Day 19 of Tumblr Survivor: Myanmar. It is now Day 20 and I have officially surpassed my previous self in length of stay--just not quite in placement yet. What can I say? Trevor was super hard for double tribal councils. I still have to survive 3 more tribal councils to beat my placement.

I am now a part of two alliance chats--one of my choosing and one that I sort of got roped into. My first alliance is with Ashley Sarah, Ian, and the kidnapped Tyler who may or may not survive the next vote if we win. Then there's an alliance I've been thrown into with Dom (whom I adore), Nick, and Benjamin. If we lose this upcoming immunity challenge, I am going to be a fat cat desperately trying to squeeze through a fence. It's not going to be cute and I stand to lose the most.

The immunity challenge was Guess Who: Survivor Edition. I am very familiar with this challenge because in my last Survivor game (the Facebook main), I went out on a final 4 tiebreaker on this challenge. My opponent and I tied for the best average in the ORG's history, but since we had tied, it came down to time--mole style, and I was slower by a few minutes. Oh well. At least I won Player of the Season. Anyway, I volunteered to take the lead in this challenge. I did this for two reasons:

1. I'm easily the most methodical person (NOTE: not the smartest, but the most methodical) on this tribe of teenagers and Ashley Sarah.

2. I can't trust these goobers to play this smart and I don't want to go to tribal council.

Nick, Dom, and Benjamin were also available to do the challenge with me, but I made absolutely certain that I was in the driver's seat--it was a risk in terms of people perhaps perceiving me to be bossy or think I'm smarter than others, but when weighing that with the possibility of going to tribal council, I erred on the side of keeping everyone safe instead of just myself. We'll see if it was the right decision long-term.

Our team had great luck in the initial wearing down of the roughly 400 options. In the end, we nearly always floundered at picking the right person in the last 2-3 options. We were the worst. And I was fearful because if Monte Rosa had some good luck juju, we would be going to tribal council with me leading the march as the captain of the challenge. Yikes. Fortunately, we won by 3 questions, defeating Monte Rosa!

I'm definitely worried for Tyler's well-being. I don't see them voting out Logan because Logan collaborated with a lot of those goobers in the demise of Trent, Daisy, and Lily, so I can't see why they wouldn't continue to work with him. Hopefully they see Maximilian as an unfriendly, antisocial booger and send them to the curb, but that would just be wishful thinking, wouldn't it?

I'm so mad at myself, I asked like four dumb questions during the challenge and we pretty much lost because of that. Now I'm worried that I'm going to be in hot water with the rest of the tribe because they might blame the loss on me. 2/3 of the people who helped me with the challenge I am aligned with or have previously been aligned with so hopefully they don't blame me and I'll survive this vote. Wish me luck :(

So... Me, Luke and Zack are talking about the vote and we are all in agreement that we want to take out Max or Logan this round. Personally I feel like the smartest move would be to take out Logan as I worry he has quite strong social connections with a lot of people in the game, while Max is just kind of there and blends in with everyone, so not much of a threat to us right now.

I'm going to keep both options in mind for now, but if this round goes the way I want it to then Logan will be the one getting snuffed.

So I wake up at around 6AM to see that my tribe had already done the challenge lol and we ended up winning!! Woo amazing!!

So hopefully Tyler remains alive on the other tribe and a merge comes in after this round. I don't know what's gonna happen at Monte Rosa's tribal so I'm praying Tyler survives. I'm worried since the information I got from Renee (I MISS YOU!! PLEASE FORGIVE ME!!) is that Abel and Zack are close. Abel and Luke have been together from the beginning and they could very well include Jev because he's OG Matterhonr and Logan could stick with Luke. Hopefully Tyler uses his connection with Zack to survive. Ideally I'd like another OG Matterhorn to go but I don't see that happening.

Ciao!

[5/14/17, 11:42:04 PM] Abel: you’re a taurus

[5/14/17, 11:42:11 PM] Abel: i’m a leo

[5/14/17, 11:42:13 PM] Daisy (Bahamas Host): yeah!

[5/14/17, 11:42:15 PM] Daisy (Bahamas Host): oh cool!

[5/14/17, 11:42:33 PM] Abel: no not cool tf our signs hate each other!

AND WE DID HATE EACH OTHER

So after the first swap I was the king. I had my whole tribe eating out of the palm of my hands. They were sheep being led to slaughter. I was running the show I knew that much. And then suddenly everything changes. I picked Zack and allowed for his clique of home of sexuals to be on my tribe because I figured it would be safe. And while I do feel safe I'm not necessarily happy with this tribe. I'm back to being Zack and Jev's bitch and now they have Tyler so unless Luke has a change of heart it looks like Logan and Max are fucked. Max seems nice but idk much about them. Logan on the other hand is a gem and I feel so bad that he's in such a sticky situation. I honestly am not scared of Logan and his friends at the merge? Like I think I've built enough relationships in enough places that regardless of what happens at the merge that I'll be going pretty deep.

Whew that was close!!!! Thank the lord Brett and nick know their survivor players and guessing tips!!! Mvps!!!!

TRASH. ZACK AND JEV ARE TRASH. SO OUR IMMUNITY STREAK OF 1 HAS COME TO AN END BECAUSE THEY WANTED TO MESS AROUND DURING THE IMMUNITY CHALLENGE LIKE THE FUCKFACES THEY ARE AND NOW WE'RE GOING TO TRIBAL BC THEY WANTED TO THROW THE CHALLENGE AND KILL LOGAN

Okay so... apparently Luke and Zack have decided that the vote is going to be Logan tonight... without really consulting me?? Like I'm down to do it but I wish we were talking more about it rather than Zack just being like "Jev you do this, Luke you do this and such and such will do this" Like... does he not realise it could possibly go wrong?

The whole plan is for Me/Luke/Tyler/Abel to vote Logan while Zack throws a vote at Max just to be safe, but if Logan pulls out an idol then it could be a tie between Max and one of us if he's on to it at all. I'm just so STRESSED because I don't want this to bite any of the three of us in the ass.

At this point in the game, I know I've been super fortunate to have TC #8 be my first! And to be very honest you would think I would be upset that we lost but I'm really not.

From the start, Logan has always been nice to me to my face. But what he doesn't know is I know what's gone on before this game started. I know that he has a friend who I've once played with almost a year ago in another side org and he hates my guts. Logan wanted to vote me out the first second he got once we ended up together on original Monte Rosa. So I've just been WAITING for this moment to strike back before he's able to give me. The soul reason I even chose Logan over Ben in the tribe swap was because I wanted to vote him off the first second we lost an immunity just to retaliate. It's sad that I have to base this vote off of something that happened before this game started, but I have to protect myself at all costs. Not to mention he's in the same friend group as Dom and Nick! Which is just a nightmare waiting to happen if the 3 of them get back together. So I'm ready to get this tribal over with in all honesty because there's a new force to be reckoned with in Switzerland.

Hey so i just wanted to make a quick confessional. Nothing has happened for us but if we don't merge or swap after this, ian is probably going to be the one going. but i hope we merge wooo

This round has been by far the messiest to date, I've heard things about the possibilities of idols, ties and even rock draws and I don't think I've ever felt more paranoid in a game ever. I've ended up putting down Logan's name and I feel sO BAD ABOUT IT because now he's telling me how he really wants to survive this round because he got 13th in his original season and now I'm going to feel awful if he leaves.

Btw Logan, jsyk this really wasn't my idea and if you leave I am so so sorry that this is how it turned out for you. You deserved better.

#ihopeiseeyounever #confessionals

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pixelated-alien · 8 years ago

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Unusual Asks

Spotify, SoundCloud, or Pandora? Spotify

is your room messy or clean? Both. It gets messy but then I go in and clean everything

what color are your eyes? Dark Golden Brown

do you like your name? why? The name I was born with? No. Horrible people have had my name on their tongues and what a pleasure it is knowing these people will never speak of my identity one day after my name is changed

what is your relationship status? In a relationship

describe your personality in 3 words or less emotional. thats it lol

what color hair do you have? Dark brown, but in the summer, it lightens to a reddish brown

what kind of car do you drive? color? A blue Ford Escape

where do you shop? Target lmao

how would you describe your style? whatever is comfortable or appropriate at the time.

favorite social media account does snapchat count?

what size bed do you have? im usually on a queen, but bc i moved back home, im on a twin ):

any siblings? I have 2 older sisters, an older brother and a younger brother

if you can live anywhere in the world where would it be? why? Germany or Alaska. They seem like amazing, beautiful places and I love the cold.

favorite snapchat filter? Either the dog filter, or the one with the aviator glasses

favorite makeup brand(s) NYX, Becca, UD

how many times a week do you shower? I shower everyday, and i occasionally take a bath too

favorite tv show? Ummm House M.D

shoe size? 9

how tall are you? 5′7

sandals or sneakers? depends honestly

do you go to the gym? LMAO

describe your dream date April 15th. Kidding. Idk, I’ve already had my dream date with my boyfriend tbh. I honestly just love going out and doing literally anything and coming home and eating takeout or pizza and just being together. I’m not picky

how much money do you have in your wallet at the moment? $0 but i have cards???

what color socks are you wearing? no socks

how many pillows do you sleep with? 5 or more

do you have a job? what do you do? I work at the zoo as a ropes course instructor. I basically work on a 50ft tall metal obstacle course

how many friends do you have? Just a few

whats the worst thing you have ever done? I honestly don’t know. Probably attempting to kill myself I guess.

whats your favorite candle scent? i dont have a specific favorite, but i enjoy what my boyfriend likes to call, “dark scents” lmao

3 favorite boy names Grey, Mason, Killian

3 favorite girl names Everett, Ophelia, Rowan

favorite actor? either Colin Firth or Robert Sean Leonard

favorite actress? I honestly dont know tbh. I dont have the mental capacity to think about movies rn

who is your celebrity crush? Adrian Brody

favorite movie? Driving Miss Daisy

do you read a lot? whats your favorite book? I dont read enough lately to have a favorite book at the moment

money or brains? brains 100%

do you have a nickname? what is it? At work they call me Scary Cary. My boyfriend calls me beautiful bunny lol

how many times have you been to the hospital? many many times. shoutout to chronic illnesses

top 10 favorite songs Oh boy. Cough Syrup- Young the Giant, Satellite- Guster, Seasons- Future Islands, Darling- Real Estate, Wish I Knew You- The Revivalists, Lately- Humble & Blisse, Apocalypse- Cigarettes After Sex, Tongues of Fire- John Mark McMillan, Feel It Still- Portugal. The Man, Easy Way- For The Foxes

do you take any medications daily? Daily, no.

what is your skin type? (oily, dry, etc) Pretty normal, a little oily what is your biggest fear? Being abandoned or forgotten

how many kids do you want? 0

whats your go to hair style? down and natural. sometimes straightened if i have time

what type of house do you live in? (big, small, etc) its normal. on the biggish side

who is your role model? i dont really have one. Im just kinda doin my own thing figuring shit out on my own

what was the last compliment you received? idk probably something from my boyfriend

what was the last text you sent? It was a screenshot of a song I sent to my boyfriend

how old were you when you found out santa wasn’t real? I honestly dont know.

what is your dream car? Hyundai Genesis Coupe

opinion on smoking? I dont care. I dont partake though

do you go to college? LOL PENDING

what is your dream job? Domestic Violence Therapist/Counselor

would you rather live in rural areas or the suburbs? Either one. as long as it isnt the middle of nowhere or a big ass city

do you take shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotels?no

do you have freckles? I have a few on my face and a bunch on my shoulders and back

do you smile for pictures? sometimes

how many pictures do you have on your phone? A LOT

have you ever peed in the woods? Ummm probably when I was younger

do you still watch cartoons? Hell yeah

do you prefer chicken nuggets from Wendy’s or McDonalds? McDonalds

Favorite dipping sauce? Sweet and sour

what do you wear to bed? underwear. sometimes a shirt, sometimes no shirt

have you ever won a spelling bee? yeah in elementary school

what are your hobbies? sleeping. eating. being the worlds biggest baby tbh

can you draw? kinda i guess

do you play an instrument? I play the trumpet!

what was the last concert you saw? AWOLNATION

tea or coffee? Tea

Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts? Starbucks wtf

do you want to get married? Absolutely

what is your crush’s first and last initial? ZL

are you going to change your last name when you get married? definitely yes

what color looks best on you? Red, but bc of my skin tone, all colors look good tbh

do you miss anyone right now? oh definitely

do you sleep with your door open or closed? closed

do you believe in ghosts? hell yeah

what is your biggest pet peeve? people who say sure, or being cut off when im talking

last person you called my friend Meighan

favorite ice cream flavor? i dont like ice cream ):

regular oreos or golden oreos? regular oreos wtf lol

chocolate or rainbow sprinkles? they taste the same to me

what shirt are you wearing? a long sleeve air force PT shirt

what is your phone background? my lock screen is my boyfriend, my home screen is Spike Spiegel lol

are you outgoing or shy? a little of both

do you like it when people play with your hair? only if its my boyfriend. anyone else, dont fucking touch me lol

do you like your neighbors? eh

do you wash your face? at night? in the morning? whenever i shower. so it varies

have you ever been high? yeah and it was dumb

have you ever been drunk? yeah and that was also dumb lol

last thing you ate? i dont even remember tbh

favorite lyrics right now “When people change, they gain a peace but they lose one too.”

summer or winter? Winter

day or night? Night

dark, milk, or white chocolate? Milk

favorite month? any cold fall/winter month. it varies here in the south

what is your zodiac sign Aries

who was the last person you cried in front of? my parents

#personal #anonymous

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survivedeathvalley · 8 years ago

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EPISODE 3 - “BLESS RANDOM.ORG” - BIANCA

Paul tried it.............. he really did huh!!! Its funny how even though I helped 0% in the challenge I still stayed. I've got the Deadly Viper Assassination Squad with me and that's all I need. As long as I have those numbers, I feel great. If we end up losing again.. bye bye Mattie!

honestly at this point of the game my alliance is intact and hopefully we make it to merge or in a good place if there's a swap but im not worried whatsoever

Well, I stuck with Misty and Bianca, and Mattie is going to draw the flag, I think. So this will be exciting, i'm perfectly okay with handing over the reigns to someone else during this challenge, hopefully it will earn us our first win!

Alright, so the vote actually went as planned. Tanner went home unanimously while voting for Alex. This is great because it means that if I'm on a tribe with snakes that they have yet to embrace those negative tendencies. https://i.makeagif.com/media/11-11-2015/cVGFpC.gif Also, after getting voted out Tanner got online to message me (and everyone else according to the hosts) the word "fake". I'm just... https://img.memesuper.com/3bc6766bbe76cc8447a30d21e851df82_1000-images-about-gifs-on-gif-meme-guy-blinking_624-352.gif

Tanner literally said nothing to me yesterday except what's up? I even gave him a response which I count as a chance for him to respond, no? Like... if you don't say anything to me during the day then: 1. How are we supposed to strategize if the vote is going to fall any differently 2. How are we supposed to vote for the same person - at all 3. Why would I want to play with you - that makes for a very unreliable alliance http://rs207.pbsrc.com/albums/bb263/slimkid_buckeye/animations/bang-head_zps471ffe0c.gif~c200

Also, our immunity challenge is flag making. Which... I'm a shady ho and I'm gonna say, works better as a reward challenge. Given the amount of people who claim not to be creative in this community making a challenge dictate safety based solely on creativity is a "no" from me. http://68.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mb4x3nlrJh1rt2432.gif

Our challenge is fun though because it's kind of "themed" based on the sorting hat's opinions of us. And the sorting hat decided our tribe was full of the goody-goodies or is it goody-two-shoes? I don't even know, honestly. Anyway.. so I was thinking angels because when I think good I just... think of heavenly bodies? I dunno https://m.popkey.co/a7fc03/e09Oo.gif

And then Alex, gem that I adore suggest superheroes! And I'm on board completely. These super powered people and all the good they do for the world are perfect. Also, potential for something really cute. Now, if I were an artist this would be absolutely perfect... but I'm not. And Alex already made something so that's neat. I think I'm gonna see what I can do to make it more high quality or something (maybe change it around a bit) since it looks a little pixelated, but yay! It's adorable. http://cdn.smosh.com/sites/default/files/legacy.images/smosh-pit/122010/Batmanlovescookies.gif

I actually... lowkey hope we lose this challenge LOL "When bitches vote for me, bitches go home" Sound familiar Mattie? And just THINK how iconic it would be if Bianca, Gabby, and I were the sole members of Panamint and slayed the tribe swap

I'm still doing nothing this week and that makes me happy, i hope they don't need me, disconnecting for awhile is nice, i wish i could do it with my main account.

https://youtu.be/hOcOVfi2l8E

I honestly don't know what I expected out of this experience, but it wasn't this. When I played Divergent, the cast was about 70-80% active throughout an entire day. But this time, it's only active about 25% of the day. The only two people who even say or do anything are Giruga and Dianna, the two people I dislike the most. I have to work from ground up with building relationships with these people because I haven't been present to do that from the start, and I'm worried that my window of opportunity has closed up already. I wanna get the two of them into a chat where we can stick together as the active people of the game (so far). If I have it my way, we can vote off William or whatever his name is. Even though Layla and Kat are more useless than he is, I think he's trying to be deceptive about everything (saying he's NEVER played orgs before, or how he has NO idea how to make alliances) while most people just conceal their personal lives. I find it difficult to socialize too and I have shared these laments with Dianna in the past because we both know it's difficult to engage in proper conversation with others without unintentionally giving ourselves away. I hate that. And also, this game is helping me finally go over the bridge for ORGs. I truly think this will be my final experience, and so far I don't have hopes that it'll be a good one. I'm at a crossroads with these games and my personal life, because I can only take one path, no turning back. I want to say that at the end of this, I'm ready to move on. I'm ready to be happy again. I don't know if I'm here for the right reasons, but let's just try to make it right.

I'm actually... very happy with the flag I made. Imagine if I win this challenge for our tribe after not being here for the last 2? Come on redemption arc!

I wish I knew what was happening. I've gone days without being able to get on Skype bc of the toilet incident. It wouldn't surprise me if they just vote me out lmao

https://youtu.be/33GLERbsEqY

Going to tribal sucks but hopefully the outcome favors my game.

WHEWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I won for our tribe.... and now I'm gonna get them to send me to the devils hole so I can search out some idols bicth yes!

Alex? Barely know him but an Icon! My time at the Devils Hole was short. I found nothing, but my main goal was to find new potential alliances if we swap. As I said.. It was short so idk if I was allthat successful.

Tribe swap has occurred...

This is so ICONIC!! I got Bianca to pick Alex.. who I'm good with from Devils Hole I got Alex to pick ME I got to pick Gabby.. my ally from my tribe I got HER to pick Giruga who seems like I could get him on my side I LOVE BEING A MASTERMIND!

We swapped last night while I was away which is fine I'm still with Jenny. We've got work to do since everyone else comes from the same tribe but that's ok bc I found an idol! My first ever idol in my org career oh boy. I'm not telling anyone yet bc idk if I really trust Jenny or Alex completely yet, we'll see

I'm really nervous about tribal if we go or we lose bc if we win Giruga could go home but if we win there's a chance the other 3 might have an idol

https://youtu.be/BPBgQ1QBXWU

So Giruga and I were talking He seems pretty cool and someone I could work with. He's the only one from his old tribe on this tribe so I think I could easily swoop him up. I am worried about the other 4 on our tribe noticing that us 3 Panamint members are close. I wanna work with Alex but I'm worried about his bonds with the other Zabrinskie members. Sooo yeah I'm just trying to make a deal with Giruga rn and hopefully if we go to tribal I'm in majority and my edit stays good! (I'm hoping CP4.... Last episode I better have gotten a positive edit and the one before that I probably got a negative one when Paul went home)

so i was late to the merge party... oops. i like the newbies on my tribe and i also like that now we're at one world, i can get to know everyone now!

So one world, huh? That's a thing. Interesting to finally meet all these people and see what their like. I need to start making alliances, otherwise I'm screwed.

I... Giruga and I are flirting by sending dog memes to one another I'm---- anyway, maybe this means that we can swing him over to our side to dominate the vote. ;)

A fucking tribe swap, and one world. Imagine that. At least now I can start getting a feel for everyone that wasn't originally on Panamint. I've been talking to Dianna a bit because I remember going to DH with her, but sadly she isn't on my tribe so I can't really align myself with her. The bright side is that my alliance with Misty and Gabby (queens!) is all on the same tribe as me. If we can pull in another member of our tribe we could have the numbers to control votes if we ever have to go to tribal. Bless random.org for making me a captain <3 <3 <3

Dianna HAS to be either Dom, Nick or Nic. Or Ashley but I'm betting it's Dom. Dianna and I worked close together in Festive BB, and then it was revealed that she was a catfish played by Ashley >.>. I don't think Ashley would play her again but Dianna's handwriting looks a lot like Dom's now and Dianna, then Ashley and I were a duo until she cut me at final 3 after winning the final HOH! but I've played two games with Dom, hosted him once and he's hosted me once, I KNOW HIS TYPING STYLE AND the putting 'ME' after everything anywhere, that has to be him and I'm taking notes.

So we lost.. it sucks. However it gives me more air time so? I love a good bright side! Anyway, of course Gabby/Bianca and I start talking. Apparantly Alex/Kai are pulling her into an alliance. Alex is cancelled. I mean.. how dare he not include me. But anyway. Adelaide may not have spoken to me yet but... Kai, I've got my eyes on you. For now I'm gonna work on Giruga wish me luck!

my alliance didnt want to throw this, but I did. so I performed poorly. I submitted a score of about 3000, which isn't great by any means. If my tribe loses, I'll claim that my second submission (of about 5000) was not scored and I'll make a very public argument over it. of course, the hosts cannot do anything, and effectively send my tribe to tribal council :) then, I'll flip on the old titus bitches and send one of them home (PROBABLY Kat because I don't like the game she plays) I want to go the distance with William and Dianna and Giruga, but Kat is way too unknown for me to ever trust her enough to keep her around. I'll start talking to the three other people on the tribe and hopefully get them to turn their sights from the bigger threats of Will and Dianna. For my strategy, Will and Dianna will be the perfect shields to take into another swap but also the merge. They've got numbers swarming them and I want to minimize our status as threats by having five of our original tribe members going into a merge, and I know that I'll be deceiving them bad, but I hope they don't hold a grudge. Although I'm turning over a new leaf as a player by truly wanting to stay loyal to big threats, I'm still playing the same, old, jaiden way

At this point I don't even have to try at challenges bc I'm always on the winning team *giggles*

Giruga just told me he wants to work with me and the other neutrals Which is the best news I could've heard right now!!!!! I trust him a lot and him plus us three makes four. Tbh I don't really care who goes home between Kai or Adelaide or Alex at this point. I'm just excited to have numbers

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fXtP_vOxDzA

IT ONLY TOOK LIKE 800 TIMES AT THE DEVILS HOLE BUT I FINALLY FOUND SOMETHING GAME CHANGING. I have the ruby idol, which could automatically makes a rocks situation if I feel festive enough for it. Hopefully I won't be in a position to use it for a while since I now have an alliance with Misty/Gabby/Giruga in addition to my alliance with Misty and Gabby. I feel good about having majority on the tribe, but I'm trying to stay close to Dianna since she's on the other tribe. I think I'm gonna give her my glow stone when I'm done with it, so that way I can prove that I trust her. I just hope I'm not making a huge mistake.

Aaaa whatwhat isit haopening?!?!!?

I can't make a video right now, but in the event that I get voted out tonight I just wanted to say a few things. So far I've aligned myself with the Neutral tribe and I'm really hoping I'm not being screwed over... because I seriously want to work with them, especially if it means down the line I can flip the game on old Titus. Please just let me survive my first actual tribal!!!!

Help I am being held hostage and the only way to get my freedom is if I make a confessional.

I AM PROB GOING HOME I AM NEVER ON

EP 3 EDGIC

#confessionals #buriedinsand

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