#(original works)

[star-dragon-art]

Some pride creatures I will turn into stickers! I wanna make a couple more then do a kickstarter for em.

[narrycherries]

ivy: how’s one to know..

Harry is just an ass and she’s just a stranger.

masterlist // ivy series

word count: 8.6k

warnings/tags: enemies to lovers, harry x fem oc, angst

[before you start: i edited this bc i ended up giving her name back to her, it’s no longer (y/n) but of course feel free to read it however you want and change the descriptors to whatever you prefer!]

The holiday season had wrapped up a handful of days ago and things were slowly starting to go back to normal. The sparkling strings of lights decorating neighborhoods and businesses all around the city were being taken down and shoved back in their storage boxes until the last month of the year circled around again. The weather was staying consistent, though. The gloomy overcast skies and chilly wind that whipped through the streets were enough to keep people bundled up and wishing for spring to arrive.

Most people she knew enjoyed the holidays a lot more than she did. Sure, she loved to see the colorful lights lining roofs and windows of boutiques and restaurants along the main strip. There was something so juvenile, so innocent about the giddy feeling that would fill her stomach as she saw a pile of fake presents and a decorated tree in a shop window. Somewhere deep down inside of her heart, she still had that spark that a child would have.

When she was growing up, she sought happiness during the holidays by admiring other people’s outdoor decorations or gazing in awe at the displays put up in her schools. She didn’t have what most people had that she went to school with, but she tried to be grateful, even as a young chlid, and appreciate what surrounded her.

A strong sadness was building in her chest as she slid the ceramic Santa Claus into his box to pack him away with the other Christmas decorations. She thought about the many years she questioned if Santa was real. There were so many nights when she’d squeeze her eyes shut and whisper out loud, her knees on the floor as she put her elbows into the mattress. There was so much hope in her. She believed that if she wished and prayed and dreamed enough, Santa would leave a present or two on the coffee table next to her dad’s stained coffee mug. There wasn’t a tree most of the years of her childhood, but her dad give gift her things (there was no magical Santa though). There were no twinkling lights outside of her window, hanging down from the roof with a clumsy droop. There were no ornaments to place on the branches of a fake tree, lined with a dusty skirt that would be covered with presents. There were no fresh baked cookies and steaming hot chocolate topped with marshmallows. The television never displayed joyful Christmas movies and specials. The radio on the kitchen counter never once sang a tune of a wintery song about snow and ice. No, none of that. It was just her dad, her brother, and herself for a while.

“Did you keep the box for this guy?” Emma’s curious voice snapped her from her trance.

She cleared her throat and looked up from her spot on the living room rug. Her ‘new’ roommate was holding a ceramic snowman who’s decorated style matched the Santa she just put away. She reached into the plastic storage container and grabbed the box, passing it up to Emma.

“Here you go.”

“Thanks, Ivy.” She smiled back, noticing that there was a glimmer of disappoint on her face, but she didn’t mention it to her. “You didn’t have to put everything away so fast. I would’ve been fine with it for a few more weeks.”

Emma had just moved in before Christmas. Her things were half way unpacked throughout the small house they now shared.

“I didn’t want it to crowd you. Besides, Christmas is over.” Ivy’s tone was partially rough as she began to pack away the miniature houses placed across the console table that the television hung above.

“I’m so excited to actually be here, like, full time. Niall’s a bit upset.. but I told him he’d survive.” She said with a laugh as she started to collect the small figurines that went with the village.

“I’m excited, too. I’m glad you’re actually up for decorating the space and not just.. letting me do it all. My last roommate was not particularly outgoing.” Ivy snickered at the thought, knowing she wouldn’t be missing that person at all. The girl was nice and all, but she was quite boring.

“Oh, totally! I’ve already got some stuff I want to show you in my room. Maybe we could put it out here or something.”

“I’m fine with anything as long as it’s cute.” She shot her friend a grin.

Emma wasn’t a new friend by any means. They met early on while they were both at university. Emma was actually her first partner for a project in one of their biology classes. They met on the third day of class and became friends very quickly. Their chemistry went far beyond the confines of the science lab. Emma was joyful and adventurous and offered Ivy that motivating spark to actually go out and have fun. Not that Ivy couldn’t match Emma’s energy once her veins were filled with alcohol, she just didn’t go out as much.

“Speaking of Niall, I haven’t seen him a while. How’s he doing?”

A proud smile crept to Emma’s lips. “He’s been good. But he’s been super busy with the store.. almost never get to spend time during the actual day with him.”

“But it’s going well, the store, I mean? Like he’s having success?”

Emma nodded. “It’s been great. I told him it would do good around here, especially with the college students. And besides, people are always looking for music lessons. I’m glad he took my advice and decided to offer those through the business.”

Niall was an excellent musician, or so Ivy has been told. She hadn’t actually seen him play anything in person, only through recordings and videos Emma had shown her. She knew Niall was talented, though. He played the guitar and the bass, both of which seemed entirely too complicated in Ivy’s mind. When they started dating last year, Niall was in the midst of finalizing a business plan and opening his music store. Emma told her all about it, including her fears and anxiety about the situation - but only because she was afraid Niall would get so caught up in the store that he would abandon their relationship. Niall ended up not doing that, obviously, and was able to balance everything in his life. He and Emma would be celebrating their one year anniversary on Valentine’s Day - which Ivy thought was particularly sweet and romantic.

“I’m glad everything’s working out.”

The store opened back in the summer, and Ivy had only gone by once to see the place. It was in a part of town she didn’t frequent very often, so the opportunity to casually stroll in was rare. It wasn’t like it was Emma’s store. While she did know Niall well enough to refer to him as a friend, she wasn’t close with him. She was supportive, of course, but not overly involved.

“He’s coming by later to help me put together the dresser. Well.. he’s going to do it for me, not help me.” She snickered as she joined Ivy on the floor to start gently laying the mini figurines in a small cardboard box they knew as home.

“I can make dinner if you’d like. Niall likes that pasta I make, right?”

“Yeah! He actually asked me about that a few weeks ago. He said I have to get your recipe.” She grinned back, rolling her eyes at the thought of her boyfriend’s obsession with food.

“He’s only had it like twice.. but it’s flattering to know I’m such a good chef.” Ivy laughed under her breath. “I’ll give you the recipe.”

The rest of the afternoon was spent on putting away the last of the decorations and moving them into the hallway closet. The box fit perfectly in the bottom of the closet. Emma disappeared into her room to continue unboxing her belongings. Ivy was mostly occupied with dusting the wood furniture and wiping down the kitchen. She liked a neat, tidy home and she was very glad to know that Emma did as well. She checked the cabinets to make sure she had the ingredients required for the pasta she’ll be making later on.

Every now and then, she’d hear a crash of something hitting the floor come from the hallway, presumably from Emma’s room. She would just giggle to herself as Emma’s dramatic cries of curses and sighs would fill the small home. Despite being friends for a handful of years, they had never lived in the same space before. Even while at university when it was mandatory for them to live on campus, they lived in different dorm buildings. Emma was in a sorority and definitely more comfortable with herself than Ivy was. She kept to her small dorm with her roommate, whom she didn’t have anything in common with but she was kind to her. If she were being honest, she thought Emma would try to move in with Niall once her old lease had expired. But, Niall was comfortable where he was in his apartment and he already had a roommate. As much as Emma wanted to live with him, it was just too soon anyway. They tossed around the idea, but Ivy mentioned to her that perhaps she needed to wait, just in case. Niall wasn’t upset with Emma’s decision to move elsewhere, as long as she was in the city close to him. Ivy was also informed that Niall’s roommate wasn’t too keen on letting someone else share their space. She had never met him before, didn’t even know his name, but she couldn’t blame them. She wouldn’t want her house to be permanently crowded either. Niall let Emma stay over there a lot, though, but spending the night for the weekend or on a random weekday when it was too late to drive back home was different than staying full time. And of course, Niall was allowed over whenever he wanted and she made that clear to Emma before she signed the lease. As long as he respected their home and didn’t leave a mess behind, he was welcomed.

A gentle sigh slipped past her thick lips as she trailed back to the living room. The open concept of the front of the home meant the living room was attached to the kitchen with no barrier other than the island. She sat down on the end of the couch, the damp kitchen towel she used to wipe down the furniture sat on the side table. She picked it up, along with the framed photo that was next to the pretty gold lamp. The gold of the frame didn’t quite match the lamp, but it was still beautiful to her. The ornate metal that decorated the frame was cold as she carefully rubbed the pads of her fingers over it. She stared at the photograph locked behind the glass, the speed of her heart beating increased only slightly.

The image was of her and her mother when she was around three years old. It was Halloween, she was dressed in a pink dress that was modeled after Princess Aurora, and her hair was curled and a little makeup playfully swept over her features. Her mother was dressed in a Cinderella themed costume, her matching golden blonde hair curled, too, and pinned up. It wasn’t the last holiday they spent together, but it was one of the only ones Ivy remembered. She doubted herself at times about the memory - she was only three and a half, did she actually remember it or was she imagining it? Despite always doubting herself, she knew too well that the memory was burned into her brain. She can remember the smell of the burning iron as her mom curled her hair. She remembers getting tickled by the fluffy makeup brush as a bit was applied to her face just to add to the illusion. She remembers the taste of the mini chocolate bar her mom unwrapped for her in the car in between neighborhoods - the night was full of trick or treating and giggles and squeals. She even remembered the way her mom’s hand carefully adjusted her curls when they got caught in the zip of Ivy’s costume. It was a memory she held dear to her heart, one she prayed she’d never lose. Ivy had always tried her hardest to find things to fill in the void of not having her mother around. But no matter how determined she was, nothing ever seemed to be enough. She found joy in little things, like collecting whatnots and trinkets that reminded her of the ones that littered her house when her mom was alive. She enjoyed searching for squirrels and birds in the park, collecting odd looking rocks during her walks, listening to her favorite songs on repeat, and a plethora of other things. But nothing could really fill the space in her heart.. It was quite a big space, after all.

That evening, after the sun nestled below the horizon and stars littered the dark winter sky, Emma invited Niall over for dinner. It was third day of actually staying here, since she opted to spend two weeks with Niall for Christmas between her parent’s place and his. Ivy was working on preparing the ingridents for the pasta when Niall knocked and was let in with a grinning Emma planting a kiss to his mouth. He laughed and brushed her off, not a big fan of showing affection in front of other people, even though he knew Ivy wasn’t watching.

“Hey, long time no see!” Niall said with a smile as he followed Emma into the kitchen.

Ivy’s eyes glanced over her shoulder. “Hi, Niall. It’s been a while, yeah?”

“I think you guys haven’t seen each other since the day we moved my crap in.” Emma said with a slight unsure tone.

“Your crap that still isn’t unpacked.” Niall sighed as he leaned against the counter, his arms crossing on his chest.

Ivy chuckled to herself as Emma began to give him excuses for why her things weren’t put away and in their new spots yet. The list included things like being busy with work, having errands to run, and of course ‘spending all my time with you’ that made Niall smack his lips and give her a sarcastic ‘okay, sure’.

They kept up their banter for a bit while (Y/n) rinsed her hands at the sink. She had finished everything she needed to do before actually cooking the food. When she turned towards them, Niall was peering his eyes into the pot of boiling water, frowning as he saw it was empty.

“She’s making the pasta you said you like.” Emma said as she grabbed his forearm to tug him away from the oven.

“Oh, really? That stuff was so good.” Niall’s eyes shot to Ivy’s. “I want a whole pot of it for my birthday, please and thanks.”

She shook her head in disbelief as a laugh rolled out of her mouth. “Isn’t your birthday in September?”

He shrugged. “Yeah, just don’t want ya to forget.”

“C’mon, let's start with the dresser, Niall. Let Ivy cook.” Emma said after checking the time on her phone. “We’ll clean up the kitchen after dinner, okay? Don’t worry about it!”

“Alright, that’s fine. I’ll let you know when it's done.”

And just like that, she was alone in the kitchen again. It didn’t bother her to be alone, she had been for most of her life, especially her late teenage and adult years. Finding something to occupy her bored mind was not a new task for her to learn. She opted for sitting at the small dining table after setting the timer on the oven in case she forgot to check the time.

Ivy pulled her phone from the pocket of her sweatpants and started to maneuver through the notifications that had come through since she last checked. One was a message from a random company that was offering a sale this coming weekend, there were two texts from Niall - the first asking if he needed to bring anything, the second saying Emma told him not to and to just ignore the text - the rest were random notifications from different apps.

Her attention went to her photo app as she scrolled to a few days ago, just a day or so after the New Year began. She went for a walk in the park close by one day during lunch when she had nothing else to do. She snapped a few photos of little random things, like a wild flower that had somehow managed to survive the low temperature, a bird that was perched on top of the black metal fence that lined the park, and a snapshot of the sky with the clouds parting in such a way that made it look like heaven. After having lost so much in life, she learned and forced herself to appreciate the little things that were around. Details of daily life, like the fall of a leaf to the ground or the chirp of a bird in a tree, were almost therapeutic for her.

Dinner didn’t take too long to cook, but the dresser was seeming to take much longer than Emma had expected it to. When Ivy knocked on the bedroom door and stuck her head in, she grinned as she saw Niall sitting on the floor with his head thrown back and Emma pacing the room with her fingers pinching the bridge of her nose. Her once neatly fixed dark hair was messily tied in a bun on the back of her head. The instruction booklet for the dresser was laid out in between Niall’s legs, along with a torn bag of hardwear.

“Food’s ready.” She said with a singsong voice that made Niall pop his head up.

“Finally.” He quickly rose to his feet and grabbed Emma’s wrist, tugging her behind him as they followed Ivy down the hall and towards the kitchen.

“Eat as much as you want, I made plenty.” She said as she let them make a bowl first.

“Don’t have to tell him twice.” Emma’s mouth shaped to a smile as Niall practically pushed her aside to be first.

“Guests eat first, right?” He joked as he gave them both a quick glance, a smirk on his face as he grabbed the serving utensil.

Once the three of them had fixed what they wanted and claimed a spot at the table, Ivy offered to grab everyone something to drink. Emma and herself chose a glass of ice water while Niall requested a Coke. Emma had just brought home a box this morning after her quick run to the grocery store. The food appeared to be a big hit as Niall scarfed it down, spitting out compliments and satisfied hums that made the girls giggle and roll their eyes jokingly at him.

“Em told me the store is doing great.”

Niall nodded as he sipped his drink. “Yeah, it’s been good, actually. I’m glad.”

“I’m glad you do the lessons. I told her that people are coming in pretty much all day long.” Emma said.

“Yeah, if it’s not someone who’s into music already or just curiously out shopping.. The sign about the lessons really brings people in. And even if they don’t go through with it, they end up looking around and finding something.” Niall told them with a pleased smile, he was relieved his business was staying crowded and people actually enjoyed coming to the store.

“Did you end up finding someone to teach the guitar lessons? I know Emma said something about you were looking for someone else, since you got so busy with your bookings.”

“Yeah, my roommate actually. He’s decent at guitar and he’s just working with the beginners. I’m sticking to the people who sorta know how to play around that just wanna get better.”

Ivy nodded as she took another bite. “That’s good.”

The cooking had made the kitchen a bit warmer than it was before, so she pushed her sleeves up to her elbows. The exposure of the small tattoo on the inside of Ivy’s elbow caught Emma’s eye.

“Oh!” She chirped suddenly, making Niall flinch. “I forgot to tell you, Ivy, I’m getting a tattoo in a few weeks. Already got my appointment.”

“Oh, really? Where at this time?” Ivy asked with genuine curiosity.

“On my foot. Just a cute little flower. Niall says it's going to hurt.”

Ivy squinted her eyes and pursed her lips. “You don’t have any, do you?”

Niall chuckled. “No, but I’ve been told the foot is terrible.”

“I’m not a baby, Niall. It’s not my first one. Besides, Zayn said it would be fine since I’m used to the feeling.”

“Zayn is lying to you to spare your feelings and get your money. He is my friend, I think I'd know when he lies.” Niall was only teasing her, but it brought a flush to Emma’s cheeks.

“Shut up.” She mumbled through a pout.

Ivy was amused by their interaction, but she chose to move on with the conversation so Emma wouldn’t get too sensitive. She wasn’t over emotional or anything, but sometimes she would get embarrassed if Niall playfully taunted her in front of other people.

“Zayn.. is that the guy I met that time at the bar?” Ivy couldn’t remember the person’s name, but she was sort of sure that it was the same person they’re referring to.

Niall nodded to her. “Yeah. The one with all the tattoos.. I would say the one with the black hair but right now it’s platinum blonde.” The lift of Niall’s brows made her think that maybe he didn’t approve of the look, but he had no choice but to accept it.

“I thought that was the same guy. I’m pretty sure he told me he owned a shop.”

“He’s the best around.” Emma said with a laugh. “Plus.. he gives me a discount.”

“You’re welcome for that.” Niall puckered his lips and leaned her direction, demanding a kiss that he knew he wouldn’t get.

“Hush.” She pushed her fingers to his mouth and gently shoved his head back.

He laughed at her reaction. “Just saying, Em. He’s my friend.. like I said before.”

Emma ignored him and turned her eyes to Ivy. “Anyway, Niall can’t come with me.. so I was going to see if you wanted to go.”

“I can see if I can.. just let me know the date and time.”

“Alright. I will. Niall, don’t be a pig.” She groaned as she saw he had slipped from the table and was at the stove, piling his bowl full again.

“Let him eat it. That way we won’t have to worry about leftovers.”

Emma shook her head. “He’d eat the actual house if you’d let him.”

—•—

Ivy was puckering her lips in the mirror of the car visor as she applied her lip balm. It was chilly outside and the weather wasn’t being kind to her skin at all. She huffed as she saw the patch of dry skin right in the middle of her forehead. She had just applied her moisturizer before they loaded in the car to drive to the tattoo shop. Emma was driving, and every now and then she’d glance Ivy’s way and notice she was still staring in the mirror.

“What’s the matter?” She finally asked as Ivy slid the cover over the mirror and flipped the visor up, her back hitting the seat as she felt defeated.

“My skin is horrible right now.” She rolled her eyes to herself, upset that it was bothering her this much. It was just a bit of dry skin and chapped lips, she shouldn’t be so affected by it.. but she was. “Even my lips are dying.”

Emma smiled. “I’m sure lots of people are struggling right now. I’ve got a dry spot on my cheek. It’s been there for a few days. Just the weather.”

“But it's annoying. Y’know my hormones are whacky sometimes.. feel like as soon as I get it under control, I break out or have something like this happen.”

“When we get home, we can look up some different products. Maybe we can find something better for seasonal dryness. My cream isn’t working either.”

Ivy shrugged and took out her phone to mindlessly look through one of her social media apps. “Yeah, we can do that.”

Even though the shop wasn’t too far from where they lived, Emma didn’t want to walk in the cold and she didn’t want to have to cover the tattoo with thick, tight shoes afterwards. So, Ivy agreed to drive back after they left, and after they grabbed some food. The shop was right around the corner, and it caught Ivy’s attention as they turned onto the street. It was just off the main road of the downtown area. The street was lined with different restaurants, stores, thrifting spots, boutiques, and a few law firm offices and an emergency clinic that stayed open during the weekend. She was familiar with the area, and had actually looked towards the tattoo shop’s sign plenty of times. They pulled into a spot and Emma took in a deep breath before pulling the keys out.

“Are you nervous?” Ivy said with an amused grin plastered over her lips as she opened the car door.

“What if Niall’s right? What if it hurts real bad?”

“You’ll be fine. You got one on your ribs and your spine. You can take it.”

Emma was still nervous as she followed Ivy to the door. She grabbed the handle and pulled the door open, allowing Emma to slip into the building first. It was warm in the small lobby of the tattoo shop. She was unfamiliar with the specific shop, but not the reality of one. It looked like the others she had been to and the place she got her tattoos done at. The walls were dark grey and decorated with interesting pieces of artwork and posters. There were rock band posters, most of which she recognized, on the wall behind the dark wood desk that acted as a check in counter. Nobody was at the counter, though. There was a small sleek, black leather couch pressed against the side wall, above it hung a large canvas with what appeared to be an original artwork painted on to it. She saw the signature in the lower left corner and smiled as she read over the name she had heard Niall use a few weeks ago during dinner. So this Zayn character was more than just a tattoo artist? She was intrigued by the brush work on the canvas, the beauty of the image was breathtaking. The muted colors stood out oddly bold against the stark white and midnight black areas. It was nothing like she had ever seen before. Although she didn’t partake in any form of art herself, she was an admirer. She enjoyed frequenting art galleries and museums and contributing to artists as much as she could. She once got a commissioned painting of a bouquet of flowers from an older woman in the area who was a somewhat known artist. The piece lives on the wall near the hall closet.

“Zayn?” Emma called out suddenly as she grew impatient with standing in the middle of the lobby.

Ivy sighed to herself as Emma disappeared through a door. It lead to the main tattoo room, with three different stations placed in it. The back room was Zayn’s private room that his clients were able to be secluded in. Emma knocked on that closed door and waited patiently. A few moments later, Zayn opened the door with a smile, happy to see her.

“Hi, Em.” He said, his accent thick as it rang through the small building.

Ivy heard them chatting, so she decided to peek through the door, a nervous smile on her face. Zayn’s eyes caught hers as he towered over Emma. He offered a friendly wave and gestured for her to join them. She nervously stepped over the threshold and swallowed gently.

“Zayn, do you remember Ivy? You guys met a while back.” Emma said with a gesture of her hand as Ivy approached them.

Immediately, she recognized his features - from his dark eyes to his nearly fully inked arms. His tattooed sleeves wrapped over his shoulders, around his neck, crept over each wrist and wiggled around his fingers. He was covered, to say the least. She could only presume the rest of him looked like that. Colorful tattoos mixed with jet black ones littered his skin. And she noticed, of course, that his hair was blond now like Niall had mentioned.

“I think so, yeah. You’re the chick Niall said could outdrink me, right?” Zayn asked with a laugh.

“I don’t drink that much.. but yeah, that’s me.”

Emma gave her a nudge of her elbow. “She can out drink anyone when she actually lets loose.”

Her eyes rolled as a smile toyed on her lips, still slick from the lip balm. “Yeah yeah.”

“Let me get my chair cleaned off and you ladies can come back here.” Zayn said just as he grabbed the knob to his private room.

They heard something hit the floor and then a shuffle of shoes moving against the tile. Emma furrowed her brows and gave Zayn a curious look.

“Someone in there?”

“Yeah, I just finished a piece.”

He opened the door and went inside, shutting it behind him again. Ivy turned towards Emma and gave her a smile, unsure of what to do next. Emma grabbed her hand and nodded towards the open lobby door.

“We can wait in here.”

They returned to the lobby, where Ivy was easily distracted by the art on the walls again. There was a print of a skull near the door. It had flowers pouring over the crown of it, which then melted to puddles as they hit the imaginary ground. She thought it was interesting and quite cool. From what she could tell about Zayn’s vibe, it fit it well. The music playing from the speakers in the ceiling was loud enough to be heard but not too invasive. She could tell it was a curated playlist going, because the song that just begun seemed to be sung by the same person as the one before.

“Zayn just texted me.. he said we can come back.”

“I thought someone was-“ Ivy stopped speaking the second a body appeared in the doorway. “Oh.”

“Hey, Harry.” Emma said with a friendly tone as she stood up, motioning for Ivy to follow her.

“Hey, Emma.” The stranger replied with a quick lift of one corner of his mouth.

Ivy was slightly confused because it obviously appeared that the two knew each other. She had never heard Emma refer to anyone by the name of Harry, at least not that she could recall. She licked her lips and let her eyes fall down his tall, broad frame.

“What did you get?” Emma asked with her usual curious voice.

Ivy was listening, but she wasn’t paying that much attention. She couldn’t help but be taken aback by the appearance of the person in front of them. He was tall, much taller than Niall but probably close to Zayn’s height. He looked like a sky scraper standing in front of Emma and herself, both of which were shorter than average. His long, dark hair shaped into curls that were messily laying on his shoulders. He suddenly swept his hand through his roots the second she realized he had such long hair. The motion caused the lights above them to ricochet off the rings covering his fingers.

“This.” He said as he extended his right arm to them, well mainly to Emma.

There was a freshly inked snake curling around his forearm, each scale placed perfectly on his tanned skin. There were remenents of blood speckled across his skin, and a deep redness that hazed over the entire tattoo.

“Wow! That’s so good.” Emma beamed at the delicate work.

“Yeah, took two sessions. Zayn got a bit tired last time.” He smirked gently at the girl he knew, completely ignoring the one he didn’t.

“Well, it was cool seeing you! Are you headed home?”

He shook his head. “Gonna sit here for a while. I’ve got to be at the store in an hour to help Niall.”

She checked the time. “Yeah, he said he was the only one closing tonight.”

“Emma?” Zayn called from the back room, his head looking around the doorframe searching for her.

“Coming!” She hollered back, taking one last look at Harry’s freshly inked arm. “It was good seeing you. If you leave before I get out of here, I’ll see you later.”

Ivy didn’t even realize she was tracing her eyes over his body. His arms were like tree trunks, muscles taut under his skin and veins popping out, rolling around as he moved. His legs were tightly wrapped in a pair of dark jeans, she could tell through the fabric that they were toned as well. It wasn’t until he suddenly walked past her, not even sparing her a glance, that she realized she had been standing frozen.

Emma started towards the back room, Ivy in tow as she felt an embarrassed blush cover her cheeks. She didn’t know this Harry guy, but she hoped she wasn’t staring too hard at him. It definitely wasnt polite to just stare at a stranger, especially when she was blanking out. What if she was making a face at him? Something nasty, or something rude looking? She was unsure, but chose to ignore it. He didn’t seem bothered by anything as he took a spot on the couch.

Zayn’s office was just as she expected it to be. It was a deep shade of green, the walls coated in framed prints and a few smaller canvases of what she figured was his work. There was a small accent chair placed in the corner for guests. She sat down and started darting her eyes around the room. The type of work that Zayn had pinned to a board on the back wall caught her eye. He seemed to be good at everything, but most of it was bold color work or extremely detailed realism, sort of like the snake she saw on Harry’s arm moments ago. She wondered if Zayn had given himself any of his own tattoos or if he went to someone else. Surely, not every place on his body was accessible by his own hands, but maybe some of them were done by him. She felt like an amateur compared to him. She had a few tattoos placed on her body, but nothing quite as big or detailed as what she saw on the board or on Zayn’s skin.

“Ivy is your new house mate, right?” Zayn asked Emma as she got comfortable on the chair.

“Yeah. I moved in before Christmas.”

“But.. you’ve known each other for a while, right? I can’t exactly remember.”

Emma nodded. “Yeah, since we were in college together.”

“Zayn.. do you mind if I look through this?” Ivy asked politely as she picked up the small binder off the console table next to the chair. A few figurines of characters she recognized, an hour glass with black sand, and a plant lived on the table as well.

“Of course not, that’s why it’s there.” He gave her a chuckle, but kept his response nice.

She opened the book and started to slowly flick through the pages. She saw his signature on the bottom of the designs. They were all so perfect. Some were executed with such detail and precision that she could've sworn they were fake, others were more loose drawn in a free handed style or just more whimsical in nature. She saw a sketch of a few bees on one of the pages. They were in black and grey, mostly realistic with subtle, soft shading and delicate lines. The drawing was pretty and neat. She glanced to the corner, searching for his signature, but she didn’t find it. Instead, in the corner opposite of where Zayn favored to sign his name was a small H. She hummed to herself, curious to know why Zayn had someone else’s drawing in his book. She quickly shook the thought out and reminded herself that there three other stations in the front. They were not abandoned by any means, she could tell people worked at them based on the different things displayed and the personal trinkets and objects adnoring the areas. Maybe this was one of his college’s work or maybe it was random.

For the most part, the book was filled with things Zayn did. Some of them were his own creations while others were common tattoo designs just drawn by his own hand instead of being pulled from the internet. She liked the way he had a bunch of his own things offered in styles that were more popular. He appeared to be a well versed artist with the talent to create just about anything.

As Zayn prepped Emma’s skin for her tattoo, he was talking to her about Niall’s store. He asked how it was going and if she had heard any horror stories yet of Niall messing up payroll or forgetting to stock an item. She only laughed and said she was surprised he was staying so calm and organized. Everything about the store was going more than according to plan, as at least as much as Ivy could tell from what she’s heard. She was still so happy for Niall. His hobby had turned into a passion and a business and he was able to share it with others, it was like a dream come true she bet.

“Alright, are y’ready?” Zayn said with a deep breath of his own as Emma grew more and more nervous in the chair.

“I think so.”

“You’ll do fine, Em.” Ivy encouraged from the corner, her eyes now focused on her friend.

“Just take some deep breaths. Tell me if it’s too much.” Zayn told her as he pulled the stencil paper off her foot. The flower wasn’t that big, but there were lots of tiny details that Zayn knew would probably hurt her more than anything else she’s gotten. “Just a tattoo.”

“If I cry, you can’t tell Niall. I told him I could handle this.” Emma mumbled out with a frown as she stared at her foot.

Zayn smiled and leaned back, the gun still buzzing in his hand. “Before I start, is it in the spot you want?”

“What do you think? Is it good?” She asked him, twisting her foot to a different pose.

“It’s not my foot, love.”

She groaned and looked over towards Ivy. “Can you check?”

Ivy laughed a little but nodded as she stood up. Just as she was about to step towards them, Emma called for someone else to take a peek at the design.

“Harry? Are you still in there?” Her voice echoed through the room, she hoped that it spilled into the lobby so he could hear her. After a few seconds, she grunted and pulled her phone out to shoot him a text. “I’m so nervous.”

“It looks fine to me.. but it’s your decision.” Zayn told her with a gentle sigh.

Ivy looked down at the placement of the tattoo, her arms behind her back with her hands locked. “Yeah, it’s cute.”

She gave Emma a hopeful smile before turning around. The door opened just as she moved her body, the stranger that wasn’t a stranger to anyone but her, walked in the room, chuckling as he saw Emma fanning her face, the heat swelling her skin with sweat and her eyes with tears - she was nervous.

“You always do this.” Zayn couldn’t resist laughing as Harry walked to them.

Ivy was back in her seat now, her eyes fixed on her phone as she waited for Emma to decide her fate. She could hear snickers coming from Zayn and Harry as they talked about the tattoo and Emma’s apparent hesitation that always came out when she was in Zayn’s chair.

“It’s fine, Emma.” Harry said, giving her a smile before looking to Zayn. “Make sure it hurts.”

“Harry, shut up!” Emma groaned and tried to kick at him. He laughed and took a step back. “You guys are bullies.”

“You’ll be alright, Em. It’s not like it's your first.” Zayn reminded her.

She shrugged, crossing her arms over her chest. “Whatever. Go ahead, then. Thanks, Harry.”

“Welcome.” He said lightly before disappearing out of the door again.

Ivy wondered why he didn’t stay in the room with them. Was he not interesting in hearing the painful grunts Emma would sure be letting out soon or watching Zayn draw his design perfected for Emma into her skin? Maybe he was tired of being near the tattoo gun since he spent however long getting his own. She pushed the thought aside entirely the moment she heard Emma groan, curses falling form her lips but not directly towards anyone.

Zayn leaned over her foot, his fingers pulling her skin tight as he worked the needle into it. It didn’t look like it was much fun, and Ivy became grateful that she had no intention of ever inking anything onto her foot.

—•—

There was a freshness in the air as she looked around Niall’s music store. It smelt like freshly picked lemons, probably because he had just sprayed down the counter before she came in following behind Emma. Niall was in one of his usual band tees and a pair of jeans as he sat on a stool with a guitar resting on his thigh. He was talking with a customer, comparing the similarities of two different guitar brands. Emma found herself busy with the items on the checkout counter - dropping loose pens back into their cup and adjusting the pile of papers Niall had pushed to the side.

Ivy stayed curious as she looked around the store. It was very easy to get caught up in the different items, especially since she had little to no idea what some of the accessories were for. Niall provided more than just items for guitars. She didn’t try to decipher every thing on the shelves, just simply moved her eyes across the packages, curiosity settling in her instead of blurting out questions to Niall. The girls came by to bring him some lunch before they did some grocery shopping for the week. Niall was appreciative, but he was unable to entertainment right away.

Emma smiled as the customer approached the counter, the one Niall had been chatting with. She stepped aside and let Niall take over the register. He had another employee here, but he was in the back room looking for a specific thing they needed to restock on one of the shelves. Ivy waited near by as Niall scanned the guitar music book the customer wanted to get and told him that he’d see him when he returned for the guitar - the customer hadn’t made his decision just yet.

When it was just the three of them at the counter, a few customers were lingering around the store just browsing, Niall gave them both a warm smile before wrapping his arms around Emma for a quick hug.

“Thanks for lunch. I’ll eat it when Josh gets off his break.” He said with a sigh, folding his arms and leaning them on the counter.

“The store is so nice, Niall.” Ivy complimented as she glanced around.

“Thanks.”

Emma walked from behind the counter to where Ivy was standing. She was about to ask her something about their plans for the day when her eyes fell on the few pieces of paper taped to the front edge of the counter. One was the refund policy, one was about the instrument lessons, and the other was new since the last time she was here.

“Oh, a flyer? That’s unusual.” Emma suddenly said as she pressed her finger against the pink dyed paper. “For the show?”

“The show?’’ Ivy asked with a drop of her brows as she read over the words printed in bold black letters.

“Yeah, Niall’s band. They play at a bar across town every couple of weeks.” Emma told her.

Ivy remembered as soon as she heard it. Emma had told her before, long ago when she first started dating Niall, that he was in a cover band. It wasn’t anything serious, not trying to search for record deals or gain stardom, it was just him and his friends having a good time. They got decent money for it, including tips from audiences, and it allowed them to play the instruments each member enjoyed. She wasn’t sure who was in the band as Emma never got to that detail before.

“Oh, right.” She nodded as the memory returned to her brain. “That’s cool.”

“Can’t believe Emma’s never brought you to a show.” Niall said with a somewhat surprised expression.

“I invited her a few times but she’s usually busy with work stuff.” Emma defended herself, even though there was no issue with it.

Ivy smiled at her and shrugged. “I remember you asking a couple times.”

“Well, you’re more than welcome to attend if you’d like.” Niall offered as he pushed himself off the counter the moment the bell jingled above the entrance door.

He went to greet the customer, someone he actually was used to seeing come in the store, leaving the girls alone again.

“Yeah, it would be fun if you came! You could finally meet Alyssa. She’s usually just home with her and Zayn’s kid.. she doesn’t go out much anymore, but she loves the shows.” Emma exclaimed with a sparkle in her eye.

“I dunno.. when is it?” She asked, glancing at the flyer.

“Next Saturday night. It would be cool, Ivy! We haven’t went out since Halloween.”

The stress building up at work during the holidays definitely set her back from enjoying a lot of things, including several invitations from Emma to join her and Niall at a bar or go out for dinner with just the two of them. It truly felt like forever since she got to have fun with her friend. She thought about it for a moment, but only lifted her shoulder at the idea. The mention of meeting Zayn’s fiancé was intriguing since she had heard so much about her from Emma, but she doubted that would be enough to pull her out for the night.

“Maybe.. depends on how the week goes.”

Emma gave her a partial smile. “Okay. I really hope you can go with me.”

“Yeah, you should definitely come, Ivy.” Niall said as he appeared next to them, the customer gone to look for the item they asked him about.

Once again, she let out a small sigh and faked a smile for them. “I said I’ll see how the week goes, but no promises.”

He gave her a fake, dramatic frown. “C’mon! Live a little!”

“I live a lot.. at work.”

Emma grabbed her elbow and gave it a squeeze. “I’ll convince you before the week ends.”

“M’sure you will, Em.”

After spending a few more minutes talking to Niall, and then waiting in the car as he and Emma disappeared into his office to say a private goodbye, Ivy was ready to get the grocery shopping over with. The store they frequented was near by, so the drive was short and easy. It wasn’t close to their shared house, but the prices were better than anywhere else. Emma offered to take her car, so that left Ivy in the passenger seat with her eyes glued to whatever passed by the window.

“Are you okay, Ivy?” Emma asked as they strolled through the fruit section in search for the items on their list.

She gulped gently, distracting herself by collecting a few apples for the cart. “M’fine, just tired.”

Emma watched as she walked towards the basket of lemons and grabbed two, she’d need them for a receipe she was going to try later in the week. Ivy was normally not this quiet. She enjoyed the task of grabbing their groceries and checking things off their combined list while Emma pushed the cart and double checked everything. Something about doing such a mundane thing made her feel content and comfortable, even if they decided randomly to try a new store they’d never been in. But today was different, Emma was growing concerned with her unusually quiet friend.

“If you’re irritated with me and Niall pushing you about the show.. I’m sorry. You don’t have to go.” Emma said with a soft frown as Ivy returned to the cart with a handful of bananas.

She sat them down and lifted her hesitant gaze to meet her closest friend’s. “I’m fine, Emma. Just tired.”

She shook her head gently. “No, you’re too quiet. What’s wrong?”

“You and Niall didn’t bother me, I swear. The bar thing is.. whatever. I’ll think about it, I promise. It’s just.. one of those days.”

Emma wasn’t believing it all the way. Sure, maybe Ivy was being truthful about the role her and Niall played in her newfound mood, or didn’t play - but something else was up. She licked her lips and decided to stay quiet as Ivy busied herself with grabbing the rest of the fruits before moving onto the fresh vegetables.

Although she didn’t want to press it any further, Emma couldn’t stop thinking about what could’ve happened at the music shop or on the way to the grocery store. Her worry was growing quickly and it wasn’t very long before she was asking another question.

“Ivy, please tell me. Are you alright?”

She received a sigh as a response, a couple of tomatoes and a bag of baby carrots joined the cart. “Emma, please.. I’m fine.”

“Something is wrong with you. I don’t want to see you so down.”

Ivy walked towards the next section of the store, knowing that Emma would follow her with the cart no matter if they were talking or not. She held her breath as she thought about what was bothering her. She was too caught up with her racing mind to realize she was actually expressing her emotions on the outside. Emma noticed everything, so clearly she wasn't doing well at hiding it. There was no real issue, really, nothing that anyone caused by saying or doing anything. A lump slid down her throat, Emma was her friend - there was no need to keep anything from her.

Just as they turned down the aisle where the bread was, she stopped in her tracks and turned towards the cart, her hand reaching out to stop it. Emma froze, a lift of her brows offering confidence like a good friend should.

“The guy that walked through the door right before we left.. at Niall’s store..” She started with a strong voice, but it slowly faded to almost a whisper.

Emma nodded, encouraging her to continue. She looked down to the floor as the moment replayed in her memory. It wasn’t an unusual thing for her to experience, in fact it was more common than not. One little thing, one random glance from a passerby, one glimpse of someone with a similar shade of hair as her own, one note from a list of songs she knew were special..

“He reminded me of my brother. I.. I don’t wanna talk about it.”

Her response made Emma’s stomach turn to knots. She knew that the conversation was over then, and there wasn’t anything else she could try that would break Ivy. The forbidden topic had been brought up, and quickly dropped back to the vault she kept it locked away in. Emma didn’t mention it again..

[a/n: this is a series! It’s a lot longer per part than my other stuff so I hope you enjoy! This is just the intro so it will be more interesting and exciting as it goes on! reblog, like, do all that lovely stuff!!] ** I did change this from y/n to an actual character but feel free to read her name as whatever you’d like

taglist: (notified for all // if you want to join a taglist for this series, lmk in a comment or message and I’ll start one)

@walkingintheheartbreaksatellite @victoriasigaard @ariiscringe @harlowsgirl @lomllover @haniaaa04 @sideboobrry11 @tenaciousperfectionunknown @fangirl509east @fruity-harry @sassamanda77 @lizsogolden

[hisclockworkservants]

[gothgengargirl]

Strings

She awoke in darkness, slowly and gently, with a feeling that something had changed. There was a gentle pressure she felt on each wrist, and on each ankle. As her eyes adjusted to what little light penetrated the room, she could see them, impossibly, transparent, ethereal. Strings.

One attached to each arm, one attached to each leg. Like a marionette. Like a puppet.

She tried to pull away the blankets, to rise with a scream, to run. But she couldn’t. The only sound to leave her lips was a faint, lascivious moan. She wiggled, struggled to move her arms and legs, but they remained resistant. She raised her head off the pillow in an attempt to pull herself up.

And that’s when the fifth string hit its mark. The base of her skull, right above where it joined her neck. And this string brought thoughts with it.

Perfect Poppet, perfect doll Pleasure, Bliss and Peace is all

Pleasure. Bliss. Peace. She sank back down. Her eyes went from panicked to glassy. Her limbs started to move, not propelled by any conscious thought of hers, but as if by an outside force. A puppeteer, pulling her strings. And pulling the blankets away, pulling off her nightclothes, splaying her legs proudly open.

Perfect Dolly, perfect toy It’s a thing to be enjoyed

Her head rolled to one side, her mouth open, drool collecting on her swollen lips. Her left arm moved inexorably towards her crotch, her right hand clutching her left breast. She touched her muff, gasped, as the string in her brain gave her new instructions.

Perfect Fucktoy, perfect prey Dolly rubs its mind away

dolly rubs its mind away dolly rubs its mind away dolly rubs its mind away

And it did. Kneading, caressing, teasing. Masturbating with an intense fervor, its entire purpose distilled to Pleasure, Bliss and Peace. This is what its made for. This is its purpose. Time slowed down, stopped. Its head is vacant, horny, needy. Its body was not its own, manipulated by strings held by someone or something. Something that wanted it. Something that wanted a Toy.

Minutes turned to hours. The sun came up outside its room, shining through the curtains. Its body slowed down, froze, denying it orgasm but freezing its body in edged out Bliss. What little thoughts it had were focused on only one thing. Owner. owner is coming to collect me, it thought.

owner will tell me what to do owner will tell me what to think owner will tell me what to be who to be owner will play with me please play with me please play with me please play with me

Thanks to @secret-subject, whose "Dolly Training File 2" has permanently worked its way into my brain, and is the source for the litany at the end of this story.

[tanblaque]

Hello Philippines! ✨

I will be boothing with a good friend at Komiket Ortigas next weekend, August 9-11, at Robinsons Galleria from 11am-8pm.

Table 49!!!

To my kababayans, I look forward to seeing you there. 💖

[sentientcave]

Masquerade

You've come to this masquerade ball to finally dispatch the man you've wanted dead for nearly ten years, but he's always ruining your plans, one way or another.

Contains: 2nd POV OC (sorry about all the blushing), werewolf MMC (sadly he doesn't do any fun werewolfy things he's just a guy with sharp teeth here), vague fantasy setting, murder attempts/reminiscence of murder attempts, a long and storied history only alluded to, what do you do when your bitter enemy turns out to be a silly little guy who just wants you to love him?, oral sex (w receiving), P in V sex, this spawned a whole ass novel and it's so so different but this lowkey holds up.

See end for Notes

~10k words - NSFW - 18+ MDNI

“My, don’t you look exquisite,” a voice purrs in your ear.

You freeze in place, glad that the mask hides the colour that springs to your cheeks. You feel like a naughty child caught with your hand in the cookie jar, an unwelcome guest at his masquerade. You thought you could escape notice, slip through the crowd of finely dressed nobles and plunge your knife into his chest at last. But he had managed to find you first. You weren’t ready. You hadn’t been to the garden to pick up your hidden cache of weapons, you had nothing but your silver hair-stick to dispatch him with.

His heavy hands land on your shoulders. “Don’t muss up your pretty hairstyle just yet, darling,” he whispers in your ear, his voice rasping like sandpaper. It’s as if he can read your thoughts. Or perhaps, after all these years, you’re simply predictable. “There will be plenty of time for that later.”

You flinch at the cold press of his mask against your bare shoulder. You shouldn’t have disguised yourself as a guest. You feel defenceless, wrapped in silk and sheer chiffon, a neat little morsel delivered straight into the wolf’s jaws. He could shift in a second and shred you into little pieces, like he had threatened to do so many times before. You try to still your frightened, thumping heart, and pull away, turning to face him at last. “I’m afraid I’m not sure what you mean,” you say, because it’s worth a try at least, but he’s laughing before you can even finish, the smiling mouth of his gold wolf mask mocking you. His yellow eyes glitter from it’s depths, watching you.

“Oh darling, I would recognize you anywhere. I hoped you would be unable to resist my invitation.”

“Your invitation?”

“Yes, dearest. All of this was for you. I knew you could not resist the chance to get so close to me again.”

“To kill you,” you remind him hoarsely.

He chuckles and takes your hand. “Perhaps. For now, a dance, I should think. You haven’t danced all night.”

You dig in your heels, trying to resist his insistent pull, but he simply wraps an arm around your waist and tugs you closer. “I don’t dance,” you tell him sharply. “Let go of me.”

“You’re a liar,” he replies, spinning you into place, one hand on your lower back, pinning you against his chest, and the other still clasped around your wrist, sliding up to engulf your hand. He simply tugs you along with him as he moves, sweeping you along to the music, holding you so unbearably close. He could lift you off your feet with ease, if he chose to, and you don’t have enough power to resist. His scent clouds your mind, cedar soap and clean, animal musk, one of many hints of the wolf that dog him even in his human shape. “You forget, I knew you in your past life. Or have you forgotten that I once sat in your father’s halls? I have seen you dance.”

It was so long ago now, another life, before he was only the wolf to you, and before you were the thorn in his paw, that you almost had forgotten. You had hardly given him a second thought at first, he was just another visiting knight, here one day and gone the next, handsome, but beyond the concerns of the girl you once were. “You failed to make an impression,” you tell him sharply, although it’s not true. You do remember his yellow eyes watching you one night, though he never asked you to to dance. He never spoke to you at all.

Not until after. He saved you, of course, from the bloodbath, because he had claimed you. He hadn’t so much as said a word to you before he burst into your bedchamber, monstrous jaws dripping with your fathers blood, yellow eyes wild. You still remembered beating him back with the fire-place’s iron poker, and jamming the tip into his chest before you ran for your life.

“I knew you were mine from the first,” he continues. He seems frighteningly aware of your thoughts, as if his own version of the memory is playing out behind his own eyes. “My lioness, avenging her wicked father with a poker. I still bear your mark, just above my heart.” He presses your entwined hands to his chest for a moment. “I’m certain you remember that, at least.”

“Unfortunately.”

“The only unfortunate part,” he says patiently. “Is that I did not take you as my mate that night.”

His words lance through you like lightning, burning everything in their path. Your knees nearly buckle, and if he were not holding you so securely, you would sink to the floor in a useless puddle of silk. How dare he make you weak, after everything he’s done to you? But anger gives you strength, reinforces your spine with steel, and you wrench away, glaring at him, wishing you could set him ablaze with your eyes.

The music falters. You look up, at the musicians gallery, then around the room. Everyone watches, pretending not to, jewelled masks concealing furtive eyes and whispered words. Your own mask feels insufficient, lightweight and flimsy under the wolf’s eyes when your eyes return to him. He takes your arm, his grip tight, but not bruising, and guides you out of the ballroom, into the cold night air. The dark gardens are just a little too far for you to jump down from the wide stone balcony, and there are no stairs leading down. If you jump, you’d probably break your leg, and then you’d be helpless.

“What do you think of our home?” he asks. “Have you snooped around yet, my darling? Planned all your exits and hidden away your weapons and armour? I made sure you’d have plenty of opportunity. I know how you love to prepare.”

“I’m surprised you haven’t found them already.”

“I have been busy with other preparations,” he says mildly. “But I thought I smelled something of you in the corridor by the library.”

You flinch, only confirming that you had in fact been there, hiding your leather armour inside a large vase. “Preparations for what?”

“Your homecoming. The king has made it clear that it’s time to reign you in, or he will have someone else deal with you.” He pulls the mask off at last, setting the golden wolf on the balcony. Sweat glimmers at his temples, catching light from the ballroom behind them. He offers you a wry smile, his sharp white teeth flashing. “I’ve been too lenient with you.”

“Lenient?” you ask, incredulous. “I’ve been trying to kill you.”

“Those who attempt such things do not usually live long,” he reminds you. “I don’t often show mercy. I’ve allowed you to live free, in the hopes that you would come to me willingly, in time. Now it seems I can no longer afford to continue our little game. You will stay with me, or someone else will be sent to arrest or kill you.”

You press your palms into the smooth railing, wishing desperately that you could absorb the cool, dependable steadiness of stone through your skin. You look at him for a moment while he stares out over the dark gardens, his yellow eyes tracking movement you can’t see.

He’s always dressed in black, like a man in mourning, his black curls cropped short around his slightly pointed ears, beard neatly trimmed. He wears little jewellery for a man of his station, just the yellow-gold signet ring with it’s heavy, dark blue sapphire on his finger, and the gleam of jet buttons down the front of his tunic. You were more used to seeing him in his armour. The heavy black plate suits his brutality better than black-embroidered silk.

Silk offers no protection, no shield over his wicked black heart.

You pull the hairpin from your own neatly arranged curls and move fast, striking at his chest, but he catches your hand easily, his amber eyes meeting your fury with amusement. “You just can’t help yourself, can you?” he asks. “Stubborn creature.”

He plucks the pin from your hand and spins you around, pushing you into the railing with the oppressive weight of his presence. Your protests are weak and hardly noticed, but you fall silent when you feel the rough pads of his fingertips on the back of your neck. He gathers your hair up and pins it back in place, not as neatly as you had done earlier, but sufficiently.

“What are you doing?” you ask numbly.

He turns you around, still standing far too close. You stare forward, at the point where his skin meets the collar of his tunic, your eyes glued to his pulse. You wish for teeth as sharp as his own, so you could tear out his throat. His fingers curl under your chin, nudging your face up, forcing you to look him in the eye again. “Just returning your pin,” he says, smirking. “Why do you seem so flustered, darling?”

“Why don’t you just kill me?” you ask. Your hand lifts up to knock his away, but you touch him instead, fingertips ghosting over his knuckles. You know he’s capable of crushing you with hardly a thought. You’ve spent the last ten years learning all you could about him, hunting him down again and again and again with a single-minded determination. He likely could have killed you a thousand times over, if you’d been just a little less careful, or he a little less eager to capture you instead. He should have killed you. You don’t know how to stop anymore, you don’t know how to let go of the terrible anger that burns you up every time you think of him. You want him to suffer, to lose everything, to hurt the way he hurt you. “I’ll never stop.”

There is a flicker of sadness in his eyes, and it pings against your heart uncomfortably. “I never could,” he says, all traces of his smirking, superior air gone. His thumb strokes along your jaw. “I begged the king for your life. Your father may have been a traitor, but you were an innocent girl, and I do not enjoy killing innocents.”

“I’m not innocent anymore.”

“No, I suppose not. But you’ve committed no crimes that I cannot forgive.”

“I don’t want your forgiveness.” Your voice is hardly more than a hoarse whisper. You want to shout, but his hand on your skin seems to leech all the power out of you.

“You have it regardless,” he whispers back, low and intimate as a lover. He touches his forehead to your mask, his eyes boring into yours, twin suns scorching everything in their path. “And someday I will earn yours.”

“Never,” you hiss. You return to your senses and push his hands away, shoving hard against his chest. “I hate you. I’ll always hate you.”

He tugs your mask off and tosses it to the side, tired of pretense. “If you hate me so much, why does your heart beat like that?”

“I’m afraid of you,” you snap.

He laughs harshly. “No you’re not. You’ve never been afraid of anything, my darling. It is one of the things I love best about you.” He leans in closer, the tip of his nose just brushing yours. You can feel his breath on your skin, the sharp smells of whiskey and mint setting your nerves on edge. For a moment, you think he’s going to kiss you, and you freeze, heart pounding, face turned towards him, waiting for the axe to fall.

But he withdraws instead, leaving you to face the consequence of unrealized want. His words prick at you like the point of a sword. Love. As if he would know the first thing about it. As if he knew you.

But he does know you, you realize with a start. He made you. His actions had set you on your path, and his choice not to kill you, each time that he should have, had created the determined, single-minded, furious woman that you had become. The carefree girl who you had been was long gone, dead the first time the wolf’s jaws closed around your throat. It burns you to think that he’d shown you mercy all along, that you had escaped capture or death by his leave, rather than by your own cunning and skill.

His eyes remain on your face, reading your thoughts like you’re a book laying open, waiting for him to happen by and discover all your secrets. “You have become worthy of me,” he continues ardently, pressing your hand to his chest again, anchoring it with both of his own. “I would have kept you like a bird in a cage if I’d taken you then. A pretty thing to amuse me and adorn my halls. But you are no trophy, my love. You will not survive in captivity. Even now, with the king’s sword hanging over your head, I will not force you to stay.”

“Is this some sort of trick?”

“I used to wonder the same thing. A cruel trick of fate, that my mate would hate me so fiercely.”

“You killed my father,” you hiss at him. You yank your hand away, desperately stoking the anger that has kept him at bay all these years. Each time he calls you mate and darling and love your resolve quakes, and you have no sword in your hand to make him regret it, like you usually would.

“He was a traitor. I had orders.”

“And what comfort will that be when your orders are to kill me?” you ask, sneering up at him. “What will you do when your orders are explicit and undeniable, and you are to kill me on sight?”

“I’ll never see you again.”

You aren’t sure what you expected, exactly, but it always trips you up when he speaks plainly. “What’s that supposed to mean?” you snap.

“What do you think it means?” He hurls the words back at you, his anger lighting from your own. “It means I would pluck my own eyes out before I’d kill you. If the king ordered me to hunt you down I’d stay one step behind you until we reached the very ends of the earth. If he came outside this very moment and told me to snap your neck—” He shudders, shaking his head like a dog shakes off the rain, and when he looks back at you the anger is gone, hidden away again behind his steely resolve. “Loyalty only goes so far. He knows not to make an order I cannot follow. If he truly wants you dead, he’ll ask another.” He glances over his shoulder, keen yellow eyes fixing on a point somewhere inside. “I hope it does not come to even that.”

“But why?”

He lets go of your shoulders and turns around, stalks a few feet away, and turns again, pushing both of his hands through his hair in frustration. Because I love you!” he snarls. “You had me the first day you tried to run me through. Oh I wanted you from the first moment I laid eyes on you, beautiful thing that you are, but it was the first moment that you tried to cut my heart out that I knew there could be no other. You have no idea what it’s like, to love such a stubborn, foolish, bitch of a woman? Do you understand what it will do to me, when you leave? But I have never been able to keep you by force.”

“But you let me go,” you say numbly. “You said—”

“Let you go?” He laughs, striding back towards you. “Oh my love, you misunderstand. Just because I couldn’t kill you does not mean I didn’t try to keep you. But you have slipped every chain I’ve placed upon you. I’ve never pulled my punches. I would not disrespect you so.”

“You called it a game—”

He inclines his head towards you. “I did. Perhaps I should not have. But it was easier to think of it as a game. A test of my own worthiness. I admit, I have always looked forward to your attempts on my life. It’s good, I think, for a man to be beaten once in a while, to keep him sharp. Otherwise he forgets to be vigilant.” He sighs, touching the edge of an old, silvery scar on your shoulder, brushing a loose strand of your hair out of the way. “Besides. We’ve both made our marks upon the other.”

“I’ve gotten you more times than you have me,” you say, lifting your chin imperiously. “Two or three times I really thought I’d finished you off.”

“Are you so certain of that?”

You think about it. “Yes.”

“Care to make a wager, dearest? If you’ve left more marks on me than I on you, you may ask anything of me.”

You draw in a steady breath. “And if I lose?”

He grins. “Not so confident now, are you? I only want what is freely given, so you needn’t worry. You can name your own penalty.”

“How magnanimous.”

“I can be,” he says. “Now, shall we inspect each other here, or would you prefer somewhere more private?”

The thought of being alone with the wolf makes you shiver, but it’s not revulsion that you feel, it’s something far worse. The dark, cold balcony seems a world away from the golden ballroom with all it’s legions of beautiful, elegant guests, but it’s only panes of glass that separates you from them, hazy from condensation, opaque enough that you doubt anyone can see through them. It makes no material difference, in the end, but it’s winter, and the cold seeps through your dress easily, your skin only warm where he touches you. “Ah, yes,” you say nervously. “Perhaps somewhere more private.”

“And warmer,” he adds. “As stunning as you look, I do not believe you are dressed for the weather.”

As if on cue, a snowflake descends from the dark sky. You reach out your hand, catching it against your palm. A moment later, the sky is thick with snow, fat, fluffy flakes catching the light and turning the world white. You look back at him. He looks softer, somehow, with that little dusting of snow catching in his thick curls, melting flakes glittering like diamonds on his shoulders. For the first time, you’re struck by how young he looks. He was a man grown at your first meeting, and you had always thought of him as much older, but you know now that he couldn’t be ten years your senior. You suspect it’s much less than that.

It changes something in your perception of him. Softens him.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” he asks, stepping in close again. Although you’ve hardly moved an inch since you came out to the balcony, he’s full of restless energy, moving away and back again like he’s tethered to you by some invisible string. He tilts his head to the side, his keen predator eyes practically glowing in the soft light.

You were glad your face was already flushed from the cold. “I was just thinking. You look so…” You trail off, thinking of the best way to phrase it.

“Handsome?” he suggested. “Strong? Irresistible?” He wiggles his thick black eyebrows, grinning wickedly, making you laugh despite yourself.

“I was going to say young, actually,” you say. “I was wondering what sort of boy you were.”

He holds a hand out to you. “I’m sure there’s a portrait somewhere, if you’re curious. Now come along, pet, I don’t want you catching a cold out here. I do have a wager to win.”

You hesitate. All the ancient, bitter anger and sadness wars with something new in your chest. It’s been so long since you wanted anything more than vengeance. Ages since the last time you felt deep, aching want for someone’s hands on you, if you ever even had. The obsession between you, at least, was mutual, and you had traded the excitement of romance for the thrill of the hunt, the clash of your sword against the wolf’s. His taunting sounded better than flowery poetry to your ears, and you could not help but seek him out every time the loneliness of your new life became too much to bear. He had been your focus, your centre, your reason for existing for so long that you can no longer deny what this is.

Love is not always kind. Between the two of you, it’s become a desperate, wretched thing, living on scraps of attention and hungry looks traded in battle.

His fingers close around yours, and you realize that you’ve reached out and taken the offered hand. You look at him, and he’s smiling in a way you haven’t seen before, half-hitched up on one side, almost shy.

He twines his fingers through yours and leads you back through the ballroom, slipping around the edges of the crowd like the wolf he is. No one seems to pay either of you any mind, although you feel curiously bare without your mask, as visible as a hare in a field to the eyes of a hawk. But your hunter is holding your hand, his thumb stroking over yours soothingly, like he can sense your unease.

Despite that small reassurance, you’re grateful when you step into a nearly empty corridor. A few well-dressed servants carrying trays bustle between the ballroom and the kitchens at the far end, but your wolf leads you the other way, through a few hallways littered with decorative items and portraits of long-dead nobles with eyes that seemed to follow you. You had been there only a few days earlier, but it looks different now. Perhaps it’s that you aren’t on constant guard for the wolf. He’s already here, holding your hand, pretending that he’s not watching you, just as you pretend to look at the portraits and statues and expensive looking vases you pass by, stealing glances at him only when you think you can get away with it.

The silence between you is almost comfortable, both of you too caught up in your individual tumble of thoughts to put anything to words. It’s impossible to tell what he’s thinking. You wonder if he feels like he’s won already, but there’s none of his usual taunting or his infuriatingly handsome smirk. He looks serious, black brows lowered in a sort of pensiveness that you’ve never seen from him. Of course, you had only once gone so long in his company without attacking him physically, and you had been tied to a chair, at the time.

“Do you remember, a few years ago, the hunting lodge just above Lake Pym?” he asks.

You laugh. “I was just thinking about it. Why?”

He stops in front of a door and leans against the frame. “Do you think you’ll be able to go as long without trying to stab me this time around?”

“That depends on whether or not you tie me up again,” you quip back.

“Don’t say such things,” he warns you, opening the door and holding it open, letting go of your hand for the first time in ages. Your fingers feel cold without his touch. “You’ll give me ideas.”

“You’ve made far too many confessions tonight for me to believe that you didn’t already have ideas,” you tease. Funny how easily that comes, like you’re old friends and not enemies. A tidy little fire burns in the stone fireplace, with a cozy arrangement of rugs and furs laid out before it. A low table sits ready, carrying wine and glasses and a few plates of the sort of interesting finger-foods that they had been serving in the ballroom. Raising your eyebrows, you look back over your shoulder at him. He hadn’t spoken to anyone on the way in, which meant that it had been all prearranged.

He closes the door behind himself and leans against it, grinning sheepishly. “I live in hope.”

The room - his room- is neat, a big bed with four posts carved like small trees, green-velvet curtains tied back neatly, is the first sign that he might actually like colour. You imagined him always in sombre black and white, dark hair, white teeth, dressed like the reaper and often so employed. But perhaps he isn’t as stark as you’d always thought. His furniture is solid and well-made of warm-toned wood, and the bookshelves that flank the fireplace are stuffed with books, the odd space cleared out for knick-knacks and trophies. You had never considered that he might like to read. It isn’t something that has ever come up before.

The wolf sits down on the furs and nudges a black lump by the fire. The shape uncurls into the biggest, fattest, blackest cat you’ve ever seen and pads over to you, sniffing your skirts suspiciously.

“You have a cat?” you ask, because it seems unlike the picture you’ve built up of him over the years. Another thing you missed. You had been so focused on him as an enemy that you had hardly stopped to consider him as a man. You sit, and the cat drapes itself across your lap, purring already in anticipation of a good scratch.

“I don’t have a cat,” he corrects you loftily. “Smudge is the matriarch of a proud line of excellent mousers, and she is a valued member of the household. One cannot own a cat, I have learned. One co-habituates with cats.” He leans over and gives the cat a little scratch under the chin, his knuckles just barely brushing your knee as he withdraws. “She isn’t usually very friendly, but she must recognize a fellow assassin when she sees one.”

“I’m not much of an assassin, I’m afraid she’d be terribly disappointed in me. I’ve failed to kill my only target, and I have been at it for quite some time.” You give the cat a scratch behind the ears. “I’m sure her record is much more impressive.”

He frowns and looked at you in a funny way. “Have you never taken a life?”

“I’ve tried very hard to avoid it. You’re the only person I ever wanted dead, and I— I wanted to be better than you. I wanted my hands to stay clean, so I could beat you and still keep my sense of…” You look down at the purring black puddle of fur in your lap rather than at the wolf. “Oh I don’t know. Righteousness, I suppose.”

“So sweet that you wanted me to be your first,” he teases.

You know he means first kill, but you turn pink anyway, and there is no cold wind to blame for your rosy cheeks this time. There were many firsts that you had missed out on, in your bid for vengeance. “Perhaps I still do,” you snap, not thinking about the double meaning until after the words have left your mouth. You scramble to clarify. “My first kill— Not— Ugh.” He begins to laugh, and you cover your face with both hands, wishing the floor would open up beneath you and swallow you whole. “Stop laughing!” Your voice is muffled by your hands, but there is no way that his keen wolf’s ears don’t hear you perfectly. “That’s not what I meant!”

He snorts. “I know, pet. It’s a bit late for that, I should think.”

You peek at him between your fingers, and his eyebrows shoot up.

“Darling.” He leans over and gently takes hold of your wrists, prying your hands away. He is mercifully no longer laughing, but the look in his eyes only makes your face burn hotter. “Please don’t tell me that you’ve never taken a lover.”

“There was never a good time,” you manage to squeak out. It was half true. There had been offers, and moments when you’d been sorely tempted to share someone’s bed for the night, but the few fumbling kisses you’d shared with young men had failed to thrill you the way that crossing swords with the wolf did.

He sits back with a groan. “You’re always throwing wrenches into my plans.”

“How on earth could that have anything to do with your plans?” you ask hotly.

“Darling, don’t be so naive. My plans were obviously to seduce you into my bed so I could out-perform every man who had ever touched you, forcing you to admit to yourself that we belong together. But I suppose that would have been too easy.”

“Too easy!”

“I would never imply that you would be easily seduced, my love, only that I am fairly confident that you would have a harder time denying what we are if I were to employ my considerable athletic ability with the task of making you come undone.” He smiles ruefully. “But seduction isn’t fair if you’re a virgin. I’ll have to win your heart the old fashioned way.”

“The old fashioned way?” You stare at him, incredulous. “What, you’re going to court me?”

“I’m certainly going to try,” he says, turning toward the table to pour you a glass of wine. “It’s the long road, but you’ll find I’m usually more than willing to take the scenic route.”

“You’re insane,” you say weakly, accepting the offered glass. “You must be.”

“Must I be? Like you said, I’ve made far too many confessions tonight, you must know that I do not mean this as some passing fancy. I think it would be a waste to continue this bloody crusade of yours. For both of us. I confess my bias in the matter, as I rather enjoy living.” He shrugs, looking at you over the rim of his own glass. “Do you? Has your life been all you wished for, these past ten years? You’ve forgone comfort, education, friends, romance, children— Do you want none of those things?”

“Of course I do—”

“Then take them. Everything you want is yours if you stay.” He takes a sip of wine and winces, face screwing up like a child tasting something bitter. “Ugh, I hate wine.”

“I know. I was wondering if you were going to drink from that glass you’ve been waving around.”

“I just wanted to indicate that it wasn’t poisoned.” He sets the glass to the side, still grimacing. “Just in case you were wondering if I was still trying to trick you.”

“It had crossed my mind.”

“Perish the thought, my love.” He stretches out in front of the fire, propped up on one elbow. “I’ve laid down my arms. If you must end this once and for all to free yourself, so be it. But I do think my alternative is better.”

You set your wine to the side as well and reach back to pull the silver hair-stick from your curls. You consider it, for a moment, pressing the point into your fingertip, not quite hard enough to draw blood. He watches with an inscrutable expression, making no move to disarm you. The cat slips out of your lap and stretches, moving off into the shadows again, either unaware or uncaring of the danger to her house mate. Or perhaps she’s simply more aware than you that there is no longer any danger.

You reach out and place the make-shift weapon on the rug in front of him.

The crackle of the fire is the only sound for a long moment. The wolf was rarely rendered speechless— getting him to shut up was usually the more difficult task. But he simply looks at you, like you’ve performed a miracle in front of his very eyes.

You slide one of the plates of food off the table and set it on the floor between you, something to hopefully distract his attention a little. You pick up one of the little triangle pastries and take a bite, catching crumbs with your other hand. You eat two more, realizing that you haven’t eaten in hours, and wait for him to break the silence.

He sighs and rolls onto his back, tucking both hands under his head. Firelight dances over his skin, burnishing his features like well-polished bronze. Although you have known him a long time, you’ve never studied him like this, while his eyes are closed and his usual grin is smoothed out into a peaceful smile. He looks noble, like a hero from the epics you used to read as a girl, more like you remembered from the days before everything changed.

“You’re staring,” he says without cracking an eye.

“How would you know? You haven’t opened your eyes in ages.”

“And how would you know that, if you haven’t been staring?”

He has you there. “Alright, fine. I suppose I was. I was just thinking about… about before.”

He opens his eyes. “How long? We do have a rather storied history, don’t we, love? I myself have been thinking of Lake Pym.”

You smirk. “I bet you have. I had a feeling you were rather enjoying yourself.”

“I was. It would have been more fun if you were a more willing guest, or if I at least didn’t have to keep you tied to a chair the whole time.”

“You wouldn’t even let me feed myself,” you lament, though you can’t help the traitorous note of amusement in your voice. “It was terribly humiliating.”

“Revisionist drivel!” he snarls playfully. “I did untie you so you could feed yourself, and you tried to stab me. You forced my hand.”

You blink. “I suppose I did.”

He leans closer. “I suspected you just wanted me to take care of you. You were too proud to ask me for what you wanted, so you forced the situation. And snapped at my fingers the whole time like an absolute menace.” He holds up his right hand and displays a white mark around the first knuckle of his thumb. “That’s one, by the way.”

“I only bit you because you stuck your finger in my mouth,” you reminded him.

“Ah, I suppose I did get a bit carried away, didn’t I? There was just this moment when I touched your lip…” He reaches out as if he wants to repeat the remembered gesture, perhaps hoping for a better outcome, but he hesitates, dropping his hand. You almost wish he hadn’t. “Are you still too proud, my love?”

“Yes,” you whisper.

He senses your weakness. The way the answer drips with doubt like blood from a wound. “Will you let me kiss you?” He moves closer, anticipating your answer before it leaves your lips.

Your breath catches in your throat. “Yes.”

At long last, he closes the distance between you, hands cradling each side of your face. He just barely brushes his lips against yours, and holds you back when you try to chase him, his familiar wolfish smile lighting up his face. “Not so fast, my darling. You’ll have to ask nicely, if you want a proper kiss.” He unbuttons the cuff of his black shirt only a moment later, his eyes dropping away from yours for a moment, and then rolls up his sleeves. “Two and three, respectively,” he says, pointing out two more scars along his forearms. They were both from similar situations. Two times that you had disarmed him and made him bleed for it. You reach out and touch the silvery marks, feeling the smooth gap in his arm hair and the fully repaired muscle underneath the flawed skin. “You’re a better swordsman than I,” he says, reaching up to unlace the top of his tunic. “I might have had the edge of experience, at the beginning, but you quickly caught up to me, didn’t you? It was a good thing you were so scrupled about killing people other than me, or I’d have lost far too many good men to your blade.”

“You’re just trying to flatter me.”

“Is it working?” He pulls the tunic and shirt off in one go, baring his chest. There are a few scars there that you could not claim, and two that you can, although your eyes are drawn to one in particular. The ugly, uneven star right next to his heart, where you had run him through with the iron poker on the night of the wolf. “This one is my favourite,” he tells you, pressing one of your hands to the scar. “The first time you tried to kill me. Jon had to half-heal me himself, or I wouldn’t have made it to a proper healer in time. It’s partially why there’s such a scar. He’s always been terrible at the more subtle magics, but if you want something blown up, Jon’s your man.”

You laughed. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

“Make sure you also note, in that treacherous little mind of yours, that he will not employ his considerable magical gift with the task of making me explode. He is still rather fond of me, even after all these years.”

“It is good, I think, to have a king that is so well-versed in the art of restraint,” you say mildly.

“Oh yes, I imagine it is.”

“So is it really just the five scars?” you ask. “That’s all?” Despite the truce the two of you had settled into, you felt strangely disappointed that your obsession with killing him over the last decade had resulted in only a handful of scars. It all felt like a waste. You try to console yourself with the knowledge that he heals more rapidly than most men. The scars you have left are despite that.

“There’s one more, on my thigh, but I imagine you probably don’t want me to take my pants off.”

You do want him to take his pants off. “Yes, that’s very thoughtful of you,” you say instead. “I suppose you’ve won, anyway. I have a lot more than six scars from you.” You had expected that his life as a warrior would have marked him more significantly. You’re covered in scars, faded and fresh alike, and there is no getting around the fact that you feel like you’ve stitched yourself up so often that you look as worn down as your oldest, ugliest shirt.

The disappointment in his eyes is gone so quickly that you aren’t entirely sure you hadn’t imagined it. “Well, I suppose I’ll have to take your word for it, won’t I?”

“You’re just trying to get me out of my dress,” you say hotly.

“Obviously. You look very lovely in it, of course, but I have been hoping for the chance to peel it off of you.”

You shake your head. “I think you’ll be a bit disappointed.”

“Never. What would possibly deter me at this point, darling? If stabbing me through the heart didn’t erode my affections, what could?”

“Oh I don’t know,” you say thoughtfully. “I could have scales, or a tail—”

“I have a tail,” he reminds you. “And I’m quite positive that you’re human, so I’m not worried about scales. Or strange birth-marks or stretch-marks or scars, either, by the way.”

You take a deep breath and stand up, turning your back to him. “It would help if you could undo all these buttons for me,” you say, sweeping your hair in front of your shoulder. “There are so many of them.”

He jumps to his feet and scrambles to help. A few buttons plink to the floor, torn free in his haste. “I’ll have it fixed,” he says hastily. “And I’ll buy you new gowns. As many as you can stand.”

You glance over your shoulder, nervous laughter stilling on your tongue when you see the look in his eyes. You turn forward again, sliding your arms through the sleeves and shimmying the gown to he floor. He gives you a hand to steady yourself as you step free. “I— I don’t want— I won’t stay.”

He hums in response, gathering up the gown and laying it over the back of a chair.

“I won’t,” you repeat yourself, as if the words will sound convincing the second time. They don’t.

“I already told you, darling, I won’t make you stay. It’s up to you.”

He draws you back to your seats in front of the fire, and you offer him your arms. You’re riddled with fine scars, most of them faint, little nicks from his blade. His hands slide up to your shoulder and gently tug the capped sleeve of your chemise to the side, baring the imprint of his jaws. His thumb runs across the marks, his other hand landing on your knee.

“I wondered if I’d bitten you that night.” He moves closer, his tongue moving over his sharp canines as he sighs. His fingers trail down your arm as his touch drops away. “You never turned, so I wasn’t sure.”

“It doesn’t always take,” you say, using his shoulder to help you back up to your feet. “I think it depends on the moon. New moon, that night. If you were any other wolf you never would have shifted.”

“I suppose that makes sense.” He settles back on his heels, looking up at you. “I can’t say I’ve thought about why some bites take and some don’t. I’m not as observant as you, my love.”

Laughable, when his senses are many times greater than your own. It’s not his observations that are the problem, it’s the connecting cause and effect, thinking about consequence for more than a moment. He’s faced so few consequences in his life that it doesn’t come naturally to him. You, on the other hand, are a mess of consequence, action and reaction measured and weighed, failures poured over until you can see every mistake you’ve made, follow the tracks to how things could have been, if you’d done it all just a little differently.

You pull your skirt up so you can untie the ribbon that holds up your stocking, and he slides it down to your ankle. “This one’s only indirectly your fault,” you say, angling your leg so he can see the trail of pocked scars that wrap around your knee and up your thigh. “When I jumped down that ravine. Scraped myself up on the rocks.”

He tuts, hands reaching for these scars too. It’s just an excuse to touch you, certainly, but you make no move to stop him. You just hold your skirt up, giving him unfettered access to your skin. His amber eyes flick up to your face, and he leans forward, pressing his lips to your knee.

There’s no halting the soft “Oh” that falls from your lips, but he would have heard even the softest catch of breath. There’s no hiding from him, and it terrifies you, leaves you so unsteady.

His eyes flutter shut for a moment, his exhale warm against your skin. “You shouldn’t show me any more,” he tells you. “I find myself wanting to kiss every inch of skin you show me, and I worry that you won’t stop me if I try.”

You sink back to his level and pull your stocking back up, tying the ribbon around your thigh again. “Would that be so bad?”

He groans and lays back on the furs, hands neatly folded on his stomach. “I am trying to be a good man for you, darling. You deserve more than I can give in one night. I need at least a few weeks to make you fall hopelessly in love with me before I can do anything that would tempt me to take you to bed.”

You run your palm over his stomach, feeling the soft pelt of hair over his warm skin, letting your curiosity guide your fingertips. You feel the expansion and contraction of muscle as he breathes in and out, tucking one hand under his head so he can watch you more easily, his eyes barely open.

You have to admit, he is handsome, especially relaxed like this. Only a few short hours ago you would have found the idea of him kissing any part of you abhorrent, but now you find yourself similarly compelled. You take his hand and kiss his knuckles, the tips of his fingers, the palm of his hand.

“Come here, you little minx,” he growls, trying to pull you down on top of him. You pull back, and he lets go, still worried about pushing you when you’ve made so many overtures in such a short time.

You had expected him to hold on tightly, however, and overbalance, tipping over the other way with an inelegant little squeak. He laughs as he sits up, and you do too as he helps you back upright. He lays back again, and there’s no resistance when he takes you with him this time. He tucks you into his side, and you look down at him, chin propped on your hand.

“I rescind my earlier statement,” he says.

“Which one?”

“You don’t have to ask nicely for a kiss, darling. I worry that you’re too prideful to admit that you might like one, but if you can steal one whenever the mood strikes you, I might be lucky enough to receive a few impulsive ones that your good sense isn’t fast enough to stop.”

You huff. “Is this your way of asking for another?”

“It’s my way of asking for as many as you might want to give me,” he says. “There is, of course, a standing offer of anything you might like that is within my power to supply. I think it prudent to remind you.”

He’s a ridiculous kind of man. You’d always thought his tendency toward verbosity was just him grandstanding, but now you see it for what it really is. He wants to be understood by you so desperately that each sentence becomes overwrought, less clear for his efforts to imbue each word with meaning. Your own tendency toward blunt, inelegant language is an almost laughable counter. You say little, and hide everything you can, and he reads you plainly. He speaks like a poet, puts everything out in the open, and you misunderstand him on purpose.

Perhaps that’s why you didn’t see this for what it is a long time ago. If you were not so determined to make an enemy of him, perhaps you would have noticed the softness in his eyes, the way he looks at you as though you’re the sunrise and set, like you’re the moon and all the stars in the sky.

You kiss him, before he can open his mouth to speak again. There’s nothing lacklustre about the way your lips slide over his, the way your breath mingles, the way he makes little noises of satisfaction, unable to be quiet even with his tongue flicking over your top lip, encouraging you to open up for him. Angling your head to keep your noses from smushing together, you oblige, letting him lick into your mouth, his arms circling you, holding you tight against his body.

You can't put a name to the feeling that sparks between you, but it's the thing that's been missing from every kiss you've had before.

The heat, the need of it all burns away all that remains of your carefully maintained resolve. He loves you, fool that he is, and you're not sure you could survive without him now. Is that what love is? To mourn even the thought of their absence from you, to cling tightly and never let go? To sink into each other until you're one, two halves of the same whole?

He kisses you until you're breathless, lips swollen from the tug of his sharp teeth, jaw curiously sore from moving in a new way. You pull back first, braced on one arm as you look down on him. He's beautiful, more than human, wild-eyed and fey, but solid and warm beneath you in a way only a man could be. His imperfections make him dearer to you, not just the marks you've drawn on his skin, but the gap between his two front teeth, the way one brow arches a little more than the other, giving him that permanently skeptical look that had always made you feel he was making fun of you. The crooked smile, the notch in one ear.

You know his face more intimately than your own, but you still want to look at him, especially through this new lens.

“I don’t think I want to wait,” you admit. You’ve waited long enough, haven’t you?

“Are you certain?” he asks.

“I don’t see what difference it makes, really.”

“It makes a great deal of difference. I’ve taken enough from you, I don’t want you to regret it.” He gazes up at you, tracing along your jaw with careful touch.

Your heart races rabbit-quick in your chest, and although you're the one looking down at him, you feel pinned in place by the wolf's eyes alone. "Then make sure I don't," you say softly. "I can even promise not to make another attempt on your life until the morning."

"Darling…"

"Please. I don't know how I'll feel tomorrow, but tonight I think I want your hands on me."

"You think?" His fingers catch around the back of your neck, as though he's waiting for some cue before he pulls you back into his arms.

“I know.”

He pulls you down for another kiss, rolling the two of you so his big body stretches over yours, your underskirts bunching up as he slots his thick thigh between yours, pressing against your core. He holds most of his weight off of you, but you’re still trapped beneath him. For the first time in a long while, there is no panic, no desire to fight furiously for freedom. You feel quite content where you are, especially when his thigh flexes, rubbing against you firmly, sending a shower of sparks through your belly. You gasp against his mouth, your hands skimming down his sides gingerly. When he does it again, you dig your fingers into the muscle of his back reflexively, murmuring apologies as his lips leave yours and slide down your bared throat.

“Don’t,” he growls against your pulse, dragging his tongue roughly over your skin. “Don’t apologize. You won’t hurt me.”

His teeth graze the slope of your shoulder, finding the older scar from his lupine jaws. You let out a shuddering gasp when he bites down lightly, not even hard enough to leave a mark. There’s a part of you that wants him to leave a mark, a bruise if not something more permanent, but you’re not sure you’ll be able to convince him out of gentleness tonight.

He kisses down your chest, grinning up at you when he reaches the top edge of your corset. “You are still wearing far too much clothing, my love. Come here.” He stands in a smooth movement, and you’re untethered without the weight of his body against yours, but only for a moment. He helps you to your feet and leads you to the bed, taking a seat on the edge and pulling you between his knees, turning you so he can loosen the laces of your corset.

You shed the garment as soon as you’re able, as well as the extra petticoats. Your chemise is thin, loose material, obscuring little, but you leave it on while you sit beside the wolf, toeing your heeled slippers off and nudging them under the bed and out of the way. Hands folded, you wait, heart beating like a drum. You feel so strange, almost outside your own body, watching him unlace his boots and tug them off impatiently.

He stands to strip off his trousers, and you quickly avert your gaze, looking down at your hands rather than see him in his fully undressed state. You have a rough idea of what you’d find, you’ve been in the public baths more than a few times, and even doing your best to be respectful, it’s hard not to see something. But seeing something in a setting where everyone is minding their own business is a lot different than seeing something up close, especially when you might be expected to do more than just look.

“We don’t have to do this, love,” he says, kneeling in front of you, clasping his hands around yours. Your eyes fly back up, landing on his face. His chuckle makes your cheeks burn. “If you’re nervous—”

“No,” you say quickly. “I want to. I’m just— I hate not knowing what I’m supposed to do.”

“I wouldn’t worry about that darling. It’s your first time, I should think the responsibility rests on my shoulders. All you have to do is tell me when you like something and when you don’t.” He leans forward, forcing your thighs apart to accommodate the bulk of him, and kisses you, all sweetness. “And if you want to stop, we stop. Anything more than that can wait at least until the second or third time.”

It sounds so simple, put like that.

“Besides,” he adds, giving you a wicked grin as his hands move to your hips, the movement rucking your chemise up further on your thighs. “You’ve always been a quick study.”

Well, he’s right about that. His lips find your throat again, pressing languid kisses down your chest until he reaches the edge of your chemise. His eyes flick upwards, seeking permission before he goes further. You untie the simple knot with one hand, the other petting through his soft curls.

He noses aside the thin fabric to find your nipple, latching on with a contented hum. The act sends tremors down into your core, intensifying as his tongue flicks across. You pull in a shuddering breath, and your exhale becomes a whimper when his teeth nip at you, his other hand coming up to grope at your other breast, his touch warm and appreciative before his grip slides down to your hips and he tugs you to the edge of the mattress.

He pulls away from your breast and kisses you properly again. “Do you want more?” he asks. “Can I taste your pretty cunt, darling?”

The desire in his words sends a shiver down your spine. You nod, and he sits back on his heels and kisses all the way up your thigh, although he pauses and pulls back to your other knee, kissing his way up again, this time sinking his teeth into your inner thigh, not hard enough to really hurt, just enough to make you jolt, your pearl begging for any kind of friction. When he passes over your cunt to mouth at your other thigh, you whine, shifting even closer to the edge of the bed. You can feel your cunt dripping, the air strangely cool on your wet skin.

A pair of mischievous eyes glance up at you. He’s doing this on purpose. He started all of this, and now he has the gall to tease you. Glaring in response, you grip him by the hair and pull him in, determined to put his clever mouth to better use than smirking and biting you when you need him elsewhere.

To his credit, he makes no complaint and does what he’s directed, slipping his tongue between your folds, lapping up the slick arousal. His big hands push your thighs up so he can get a better angle, and he kisses your cunt with as much passion as he did your lips, if not more.

The feeling is electric. His mouth scorches, sets you alight in ways you’d never imagined, the occasional scrape of his too sharp teeth against you thrilling. It’s too good, has you fighting his grip even as your fingers are still tightly wound into his hair, holding him close. It’s too much, but if he stopped it would be so much worse.

If he minds your writhing, he doesn’t show it. You can’t help the sounds he pulls from you, but he’s louder, as though this is more for himself than for you. He groans when your hips buck against his mouth, pants when he lifts himself away enough to breathe, his amber eyes gleaming, fixed on your face, except the few times they flutter closed, just for a moment, savouring your taste.

His nose nudges your pearl as his tongue presses inside you. You grip him so tightly to your core, your hips shaking so hard that you’re surprised you don’t break his nose. The hot, molten cataclysm that’s been pooling somewhere behind your belly button overtakes you, sweeping you away, limbs seized, unable to out-swim the current. You can’t see past the stars in your eyes even after your legs relax and you force your hand to unclasp his hair, finger by finger, so you can lay back on the mattress, breathing hard.

He crawls up onto the bed and pulls you toward the centre, a self-satisfied grin on his face. His cock presses into your thigh, insistent for attention, the tip peeking out and leaking against your thigh. He ruts against you when he kisses you again, his close-cropped beard soaked with your arousal. You can taste yourself on his tongue, tangy and bitter-sweet.

You lay twined together, forehead pressed against his as you both catch your breath. One hand gently brushes up and down your spine, the other pulling your leg up over his hip. “How was that?” he asked.

There may not be words for what you feel. Maybe there are, but they’re beyond you right now, washed away with all the resistance in your body. You settle on nice, which makes him laugh.

“Only nice, hm? I suppose I’ll have to work harder.”

“Better than nice,” you assure him. “I— I liked it a lot.” It’s still insufficient, so you kiss him again, hoping he won’t ask any more questions.

He does, after a long moment. “Are you ready for more?”

“There’s more?” you ask. “Or— for you? Do you want me to—”

“No, there’s no need for you to do a thing, love. The next part is for both of us.” He rolls onto his back, taking you with him effortlessly. He reaches past you with one hand while he kisses you sweetly, tongue pushing into your mouth at the same moment you feel his cock slot against your entrance. He pushes in gently, halting when he meets resistance, fucking shallowly into you until you relax enough to let him bury himself deeper into your body.

You tuck your face down against his chest, focusing on the feeling of his cock stretching your cunt, so deep inside you that his presses against your womb. He tries to keep himself still, but his hips buck slightly, tearing a groan from your chest. There’s no stopping the way your cunt squeezes down on him in response, nor the way your hips grind against him. He makes a choked sound, breathing out shakily when you push yourself up to look at him.

The angle change nearly has you collapsing back down, but he takes pity on you and flips you both so he can take the lead. “Hello, pretty thing,” he says, giving you another kiss and a firm grind into you before he starts moving his hips, slowly working himself in and out of your cunt, lips settling against your ear so he could tell you how well you’re taking him, how good you feel around his cock.

Any ability to respond is quickly fucked out of you, your breath punched out with every deep thrust, your world shrinking down to a handful of sensations: his lips on your ear, the weight of his body and the delicious drag of his cock against your inner walls.

He works his hand between you to rub at your pearl, the heel of his hand pressing down on your lower belly. The thought that he can feel himself inside you with your hand is one of the last fully formed ones that cross your mind, because he growls and picks up the pace, unrelenting until you’re shaking and babbling and clinging so tightly to him that you’re certain you’ll leave permanent marks.

He drags you up another precipice and throws you over, his forehead pressed to yours, watching your face as you shake and cry out. He ruts into you, and you can feel him fill your cunt, his cock twitching, rooted firmly inside you. He doesn’t pull away, just throws himself onto his back, holding you tight to his chest.

His heart beats like a drum under your ear, slowing gradually as he catches his breath. His cock slips free, and you stiffen slightly as his spend leaks from your swollen cunt, spilling onto his belly. He pops his head up as soon as you tense, and huffs out a laugh, kissing the tip of your nose.

“Sex can be a bit messy. Come on, love. Let’s get cleaned up.”

Your legs wobble when you try to stand, but he happily slides a supportive arm around your waist, leading you into the adjoining tap room. Once you’re both cleaned up, he coaxes you out of your sweat-soaked chemise and wraps you in one of his shirts and you both sit back down in front of the fire.

You pick up your abandoned wine glass, holding it with both hands as you eye the wolf. He looks content, satiated, like he’s had his fill of you. There’s a little tremor of unease that settles in your belly. Now that the chase is over, will he still want you? Do you still want him to want you? At the beginning of the evening you had been determined to kill him, and now…

He looks back at you through half-closed eyes, and unfurls his arm. “You’re too far away,” he tells you, voice a warm purr. “And you’re thinking too much.”

It’s still unfair, how easily he reads you. An open book, pages left open for him to flip through at his leisure. Despite your trepidation, you walk forward on your knees and sit against him, knees tucked under his arm. His fingertips trail up your thigh, over your knee, down your calf, and back, over and over, as he waits for you to speak.

“What happens now?” you ask at last. “Do we go our separate ways?”

Hurt flashes across his face before he can hide it behind a neutral mask. “If that’s what you want.” His fingers continue retreading their path while silence builds between the two of you. At last, he pulls in a fortifying breath. “Is that what you want?”

There’s raw desire in his eyes, not tempered in the least by your coupling. He offers you everything so easily that it feels like it must be a trick, but he wouldn’t work so hard to hide his feelings if he didn’t care for you, if this were a trap. If you stay, it has to be your choice, not made because of his own want for you to remain by his side.

The anger that kept you warm in all your years out in the cold is gone. Killing him won’t bring your family back from the grave, it would just place another soul in one. The desire for revenge truly burned out a long while ago, and you couldn’t admit that only embers remained. It was why you were so desperate to end it tonight, to close the chapter and look forward to something new.

It’s so like your wolf to ruin your plans. This time, you’re not sure you mind.

“I’d like to stay,” you say at last.

He’s on you so fast that you drop your wine glass, spilling red over the furs. It’s hard to stop laughing enough to kiss him back, trying to point out the mess to him. He growls something about not giving a damn as he gives up trying to kiss you through your smile, and presses his lips to your pulse instead.

In the end, with all the history between the two of you, what’s one more mess?

It's been almost five years since I started writing this short story, and I had fully expected not to finish it. I was caught up in the story in the peripherals, the potential history between Cat and Valter. This scene no longer fits in the overall narrative, even if there are still threads of it that remain unchanged, so I feel like it's safe to share. I'm working on the third draft of The Night of the Wolf, sorting out the mess of my second draft (so many changes it might as well be a second first draft) and I think there's a very real possibility that I can actually finish it, and that's in no small way thanks to all of you. I have been writing for a long time, but it's only been in the past year that I've shared my work with anyone, and it's been a really lovely experience. Thank you for reading my silly fanfictions, thank you for reading this, and I hope to share more bits of original work going forward, if there's any interest. (But don't worry, I'm still gonna finish the fanfictions. I show no signs of stopping yet)

C. T. Cutter

(Also, special thanks to my best human person @dragonnarrative-writes for making me finish this and being so so kind to me about my work and encouraging me always. I am bad at accepting compliments but I appreciate them all the same)

Image Credits: 1 - 2 ~ Dividers by @/cafekitsune

[stormykatie]

calm before the storm

deceiving,

addictive

i cling to the arms of sleep,

fall deeper

until i lose grip

to reality

the wind whistle, i hear it

but it's just that

and the voice

i long so much

to soothe me

dissipates with the

echoes of tranquility

-katie

[sugar-soda]

How to care for your Human

Masterlist

“You have been crewmates with a human before, correct?”

Q'rell paused with her food halfway in her mouth, giving her cousin a confused look, “Yeah, I shared a workspace with two of them on the last ship I was on. Why?”

Dezen’s scales flared and he shifted awkwardly on his stool, which groaned in protest. The station they were on was an older one and nowhere showed it better than the tiny restaurant they agreed to meet in. The tables were sticky, the stools were uneven, the robotic server was unable to hold conversation, and the menu was unsafe for more than half the recognized sentient species in the galaxy.

 Both of their ships were docked for inspection and refueling, giving the two Kaxians some brief leave from their duties. When Q’rell learned Dezen’s ship would be docked at the same place at the same time, she insisted they meet and catch up. She had not seen her younger cousin in cycles and was eager for updates to tell their older family members, who complained of his lack of holochats.

Dezen took a sip of his drink before answering, his scales settling again. “One moved into the quarters next to mine eight cycles ago. She works in communications, I believe.”

“Aaaaand?” Q’rell drew out, digging for more. 

“I wanted to know how you feel about them, that is all.” 

She didn’t quite believe he was telling her everything, but answered anyway. “The two I shared a workspace with were nice. They got their jobs done, but were very boisterous and loud when off duty. They made a point to include me in their activities, which I appreciated, even if I didn’t always join. I still holochat with them sometimes.”

“Would you say you know a lot about humans?” Dezen asked. 

Q’rell tapped a claw against the table, trying to guess what he was avoiding telling her. “I would say so. Why? Is yours causing problems? You should talk to your captain if she is, I’m sure she could be reassigned, since you have seniority.” 

“No, no, no,” Dezen shook his head and flicked his tail in assurance. “She has not done anything bad. We have just spent a lot of time together outside of the group bonding activities our captain insists on, that is all. She has made human foods that are safe to share with me and insists on having ‘movie night’ and ‘game night’ quite often. She even learned how to greet me like a fellow Kaxian would. I would consider her a very good friend.”

Q’rell processed his words. Dezen had never been without friends, but he never had a good friend. No one was ever cruel to her cousin, nor was he to them, but she doubted any of them have contacted him since they have reached adulthood. He never was the last picked for Nakiball, their planet’s favorite sport, but he was certainly never first. When studies required younglings to split into groups, he would fit in fine when there were groups of three or four, but was left without a partner when there were teams of two. He never spoke of any friends or their antics at meal times. Their family could never understand why. 

To hear him talk about anyone outside of their family with such fondness was great news, and would certainly calm the fears of their family. She rested her face on her palms; a teasing expression on her face. “Just a good friend, huh?”

Dezen’s scales flared in embarrassment once again. “Yes, a good friend,” he hissed.

“Then what is the problem?”

“It is just that I am…concerned.”

“Concerned?” she asked, not believing him entirely, but indulging her little cousin.

“Yes. I have noticed certain things that worry me, but I would hate to offend her by pointing out something that is considered unremarkable or taboo by her standards. She seems to already know so much about Kaxian culture, I would seem ignorant and rude if I were to do that.”

“So you came to me?” Q’rell guessed that made sense. She was the only one in their family who had met a human before. Dezen and herself were the only ones in their family who didn’t stay on their home planet after they came of age. The first paint of adulthood had not even fully dried on her face before she had hopped on the first ship off world. Dezen had followed in her footsteps about five cycles later, purple paint now complementing his gray scales. 

“I tried to research on my own, but all of the information available conflicts with each other and I have no way to verify what is true and what is not,” he rested his head on the table in defeat, much like a youngling. “I know you have first hand experience with them, so I figured it was the next best step.”

Q’rell took a giant bite that cleaned her plate. “Sure. I’ll help you with your human,” she agreed. While she loved to tease, she didn’t want him to be ignorant.

Dezen brightened and reached over to hug her tightly. “Thank you, thank you, thank you!” He hugged her so tight, he nearly knocked them both off their already precarious stools. 

“Careful! If I fall down, you’re buying dessert!” She pulled away and pushed the button for the server to get them dessert. When both of them had some sort of fried cake, she took a bite, then asked, “So, what makes you so concerned about your human?”

Sitting up properly, Dezen answered, “The patch of fur on top of her head, for one thing.”

“Her hair?”

“Yes, that. When she first joined the ship, it was a neon green, then it faded. Then when she came back after a refuel, it was a bold red, but then that faded. After that, it was a bright blue, but now that has faded as well, and I don’t know what that means.”

Q’rell remembered the color of one of her crewmate’s hair that darkened the longer they were in space, going from a light brown to almost black. “That’s easy,” she said, “Your human needs more sun.”

Dezen cocked his head, “Sun?”

“Yes, sun. Humans need lots of sun, that’s why their planet is so close to one. If they don’t get enough, their hair changes color and then they get sick. If it changes so often, she is definitely not getting enough,” Q’rell said sagely.

Dezen nodded solemnly, “I see. I shall invite her to an outdoor activity the next time we have shore leave,” he paused, then continued, “Are their claws the same? Hers are so short and dull, but they change in color more frequently than her hair.”

Both of her crewmates' nails changed color, but they had explained it was a form of expression. 

“Human’s claws are called nails, and the color isn’t connected to their health, it is connected to their emotions. When a human experiences a great heavy emotion, the chemicals that make that emotion can’t fit their brain, so they flood the bloodstream and eventually get to their nails and stain them. Since different emotions are made of different chemicals, different emotions make different colors.”

Dezen’s jaw dropped in surprise, “But they change so often!”

Q’rell shrugged, smiled, and took a drink. “Humans are very emotional creatures. It would be more worrisome if hers did not change.”

Dezen then leaned closer again. Q’rell leaned back in anticipation of the possible hug she would receive. Luckily, he didn’t and she was safe from being knocked off her stool. Instead, he asked, “Do you know which color means what?”

“Of course not. Why would I?”

“Because you are supposed to be the human expert!” Dezen whined. He laid against the table once more. Nearly knocking over their drinks. If Q’rell wasn’t used to the dramatics of younger family members, she would assume he was drunk.

“Is that all you were worried about?”

“No. Sometimes, she wears a sort of…face paint, during important meetings. It isn’t like ours. It covers her whole face, but it doesn’t hide her features but makes them-” Dezen paused, trying to find the proper words to describe it, “-sharper. More noticeable. Her eyes look bigger and her lips more plump. But I worry that it may be harmful, human skin is so soft and squishy compared to us. Surely it is painful for her?”

Both of Q’rell’s crewmates wore similar face paint. When she had asked one about it, she had told her about how she started wearing it in her youth and of how her father had told her she was too young to wear it, only for her aunt to teach her. The other told her that his grandmother had taught him how to do it and had bought him a vanity when he first moved out. While the family anecdotes had warmed Q’rell’s heart with thoughts of her own, they didn’t answer why the face paint was worn, so she had to do her own research on it.

“It is an ancient human tradition.” Q’rell said. “Humans originally wore it to harden their skin during battle. Like you said, they are so soft and squishy, so they needed protection if they wanted to survive. The very best paint gave their skin a similar strength to our scales, so that no blade could pierce them. Overtime, more embellishments were added and it became a sign of adulthood. Humans wear it now during important events to declare their independence and strength as an adult. Does she wear it all the time, or just on occasion?”

Dezen took a bite. “No, she does not. When working, her face is bare,” he said with a mouthful of food.

“That just means she trusts you, or at least the crew as a whole. She does not need to harden her skin because she feels safe.”

“So it does not harm her?”

“It shouldn’t.”

Dezen was quiet for a moment, then asked, “Is there anything else you know about humans you can tell me?”

Q’rell racked her brain for anything she learned from her crewmates that could help her cousin. “Humans value the exchanging gifts with each other. You said she made food for you to share before? You must do the same if you wish for your human to remain friendly.”

“What!” Dezen exclaimed, “But I do not know how to make human food! I can barely make Kaxian food. I just eat from the dispenser, like everyone else on the ship. She is the only one who actually uses the kitchen.”

“And the rest of you should be ashamed of yourselves.” scolded Q’rell, flicking him across the nose. “Your friend has put in hard work and time to share her culture with you and you don’t return the favor! Did our family teach you no manners? If you cannot cook, you can at least create. Sew, knit, write, something! And if you cannot create, there are others back home who do. Either learn from them or purchase something from them to share with her. Even if it is terrible, a kind, bad gift is better than no gift at all!”

Dezen rubbed his nose, trying to soothe it. “But it seems very…transactional to build relationships like that.”

“It is not,” Q’rell said. “She is not expecting you to give her something. But if you don’t show appreciation for her efforts somehow but continue to benefit from them, she will eventually feel used. At best, she will stop. At worst, your friendship will turn to resentment, she’ll transfer to a different ship, and you will never see or hear of her again.”

Dezen jaw dropped, "Really? It’s that important to them?”

“Yes. Have you at least spent time with her? Verbally said ‘thank you’ for her kindness?”

“Yes!” Dezen said, scales flaring up again. At this point, they were going to get stuck like that. “I’m not heartless. I do appreciate her friendship, otherwise I would not have addressed my concerns for her to you.”

“I know you care, but does she know?” Q’rell grabbed the edge of the table as she leaned over. Now she was invading Dezen’s personal space. Just as she did before, he leaned back as she stared through him. “So, are you going to get her a gift?”

“Yes! Yes, I will get her a gift, just stop staring at me like that!” Dezen pleaded, pushing Q’rell away as she cackled at his discomfort. 

Her laughter died down and they ate in comfortable silence for a while. Q’rell wondered what her cousin would get his human. A dish from back home? Depending on the dish, he would have to change some of the ingredients for safety, but she was sure that there would be reasonable substitutes available. Humans were adventurous with their food anyway. Maybe a blanket? Space travel could get very cold. Oh! A plant would be a good idea! Humans must like plants, their planet was covered in them.

“I think I will make her some of our face paint,” Dezen said, breaking the silence. Q’rell startled out of her thoughts, which Dezen took for confusion. “It will not harden her skin like her own does, but she could use it for accents and embellishment.”

Q’rell hummed, pleased, “Yes, that is a good gift. It pertains to her interests, and is something new for her to try. I think that will be a very good gift.”

The rest of their meal was spent idly chatting about other matters in their lives. By the time they left, Dezen had to go back to his ship. Q’rell insisted on walking with him to the dock. The docks themselves were already packed with his crewmates, who were waiting for permission to get back on the ship. 

“Dezen! Over here!” a new voice yelled out.

Closer to the jetway, a human was jumping up and down and waving an arm, trying to catch her cousin’s attention. Vivid purple hair was bouncing up and down with each jump.

“Come on. I want to introduce you.” Dragging her forward, Q’rell found herself in front of the human, who had stopped jumping at their approach. 

“Did you enjoy your leave?” Dezen asked the human, “I did not see you walking around anywhere.”

“I did. I was just glad they had a salon here,” she answered before turning to Q’rell. “Well who’s your friend?”

“This is my cousin, Q’rell. Q’rell, this is the friend I told you about.”

Q’rell waved her hand in the way humans do, “It is wonderful to meet you. I like your hair.”

The human waved back with one hand while fluffing her vibrant locks with her other. “Thanks. I was a bit nervous about it , so I’m glad it looks good.” 

As the human asked Dezen about his day, Q’rell quietly laughed to herself as she noticed something.

The human’s hair matched Dezen’s face paint.

[keyaho]

Melanin Preparatory Academy

.summary.: Sisters Brennan and Blaire Anderson are the founders of Melanin Preparatory Academy. A private school that services the African American community in South Georgia. While the school does phenomenally, the personal lives of the sisters aren’t as put together. Brennan and Aaron are hiding their relationship while his twin, Terry, tries to rekindle his relationship with Blaire, the mother of their seven year old son, Noah. co-written with: @zillasvilla

Kindergarten - 3rd grade students remain with one teacher for the whole school year.

Orientation : Coming Soon

Taglist: This is the masterpost so if you would like to be added, please like this post. If you would like to be removed let us know as well.

group one: @nayaesworld @peachbuttetfly @harmshake @heauxvibez @avoidthings

group two: @mymindisneverhere @sabrina-carpenter-stan-account @eilujion @heytaewrites

group three: @browngirldominion @insidefeelingofanadult @blackerthings @gwenda-fav @brandithecrystalgem

group four: @captainwithoutmakingitlove @dremmmm @kindofaintrovert @thegreatlibraryofalex @jimmybutlrr

group five: @beenathembo @kuromiish @virgomess @bbyxgall @theereina

group six: @randomhood @ash-ketchumzzz @dundienominated

[perfectlynormalbooks]

Mr. Brightside and the Atomic Bomb by @olivieblake. 129k, Original Work, rounded + backed at folio size! (+ accompanying slipcase, as usual with bindings I'm worried about sending in the mail.) A musical magical murder mystery set to the works of the Killers.

Done for lilithbindsanderads on Instagram for the Australian Spooky Season bookbinding exchange! This is fully illustrated, with a different doodle-border at the start of every chapter, and different scene break doodles all throughout. I pulled the same trick I did with The Strange Mixtape for all of the incidental musical numbers, so you can listen along as you read if you so choose.

Typeset in Georgia for the body text, with Bivoac Regular for the chapter titles and a neat font called Sam's Town for the big chapters and headings.

I played very hard into the lurid bright colors for this one, because it's a flashy dramatic story about performers, singers, and MURDER. It makes it a very hard binding to photograph well... but it's so pretty to look at. I'm so, so happy with it.

[star-dragon-art]

Made variants of the rainbow coelacanth! I probably won't be producing all of these as physical stickers anytime soon (EXPANSIVE!! $$$), but I do have a kickstarter going for a varying spread of ancient pride creatures to be stickers.

Feel free to use these around the net! All I ask is don't erase the credit mark.

[narrycherries]

ivy: putting roots in my dreamland

Despite wishing he didn’t exist, she had no choice but to put up with his presence.

(part 3)

masterlist / ivy series

word count: 8.4k

warnings/tags: harry x fem oc, angst, enemies to lovers trope

[quick a/n before you read!! I did make the decision to give the character a name. If you don’t like it, then that’s okay I’m not forcing you to read it! You can obviously read the name as whatever you prefer. This is just easier for me to write her. hope you enjoy (: ]

Although she swore to herself that she was over the incident that happened at the bar, she most definitely was not. That entire week following that night, she couldn’t shake the thoughts from her mind. There was something about the way she was spoken to that bothered her immensely. Obviously, it was completely uncalled for and rude, but there was something more than that. What had she done to him to make him react that way towards her? She feared she’d spend the rest of her life cycling through the worrying thoughts.

One of those nights she laid in her bed with her eyes glued to the ceiling as flashes of him flickered in her mind. There was something about the way his curls draped down his head and perfectly rolled over his shoulders, that made her head spin. His light eyes shimmered whenever the stage lights flickered over them, even under the purple glow at their secluded table they looked magical and full of stars. The veins in his neck strained when he sang into the microphone that he gripped so tight. His perfectly sculpted arms dripped in sweat as he performed like he was a real rockstar. Every time she tried to stop thinking about him, she found even more things about him to distract her.. It was like a curse. What had he done that was so attention grabbing? He spat crude insults out to her like he hated her, yet he didn’t even know a thing about her. How could a stranger be so cruel? And how could a stranger be so fascinating?

Ivy let a sigh slip past her lips as she adjusted her overgrown bangs on her forehead. It was time for a trim, but she kept forgetting to handle it. She was pleased with what the mirror was showing her, a seemingly happy girl with a bright smile and light makeup ghosting over her skin. The plans for tonight were kind of unnerving to her, but she was staying hopeful and positive. Besides, she enjoyed everyone’s company the last time, so this should be easy. Well, as long as no insults are thrown around, she’ll be alright.

Emma appeared behind her in the mirror just as she slipped the backing onto her earring. “You smell good.”

Ivy smiled. “Thanks.”

“Ready to go?”

She looked down at the vanity, making sure she used all the products she intended on. She grabbed her lip gloss so she could drop it in her purse. “Mhm.”

Ivy was starting to feel some anxiety build up in her stomach as Emma snatched her keys off the coffee table, offering to drive them to the destination. All she could think about was what happened the last time she was around these people. What if something had changed and they all decided they disliked her? She knew she had Niall and Emma on her side no matter what, so maybe that’s enough to keep her relaxed.

“I like your dress.” Emma said as she shut the car door, turning the key to start it up.

“Thanks. I like yours more than mine.” Ivy laughed lightly, admiring the black fabric as it sat perfectly on Emma’s skin.

She shrugged back. “It’s okay. Niall likes this one.”

Ivy didn’t say anything as she got situated in the seat. She popped the visor down, her eyes immediately hitting the mirror. Emma had told her that the restaurant they were going to was a steakhouse, but it wasn’t necessarily anywhere fancy. She had actually been there herself before. The outfit she chose was nice, but not overly formal by any means. Her makeup was light, the nude colored shadows danced across her lids and her blush was a bit heavier than usual, but she liked the way it made her face appear. The pinkish tint to the gloss made her lips look even softer than they were. The dress she chose for the night was a light powder blue shade dotted with small white flowers. The dress was cinched at the waist, hugging her form just enough to be extra flattering. A pair of nude heels with a thick, chunky heel completed the outfit. She preferred a thicker heel to skinnier ones, it was easier to walk and keep her balance. She wasn’t having any doubts about her outfit, like she had that night they went to the bar, she was just nervous.

“I’m so glad you're coming with us. Niall told me that Michelle has been asking him all week if you were coming.”

Ivy swallowed gently. “Thanks for inviting me. I’m excited.”

“It’s going to be much easier to actually talk to everyone. The bar is nice but it’s too loud and chaotic there.”

For just a moment, Ivy was regretting getting in the car with Emma and agreeing to come. What if something went wrong and she ruined everyone’s night? Sure, she didn’t actually do anything wrong last time, but her presence clearly made a difference. What if something gets said and everyone blames her, and they don’t want to be around her anymore? Her stomach was starting to ache.

“I’m.. I’m going to sit by you, right?” She asked, trying not to seem too nervous.

Emma smiled, shooting her a quick glance. “Yeah, of course.”

“Okay.. I just don’t want any drama again.”

Emma furrowed her brows at first, but quickly remembered what happened. “Oh, with Harry? I’m sure he won't even come.”

Ivy lifted her eyes from her lap, she hadn’t noticed she was staring at her legs. “I thought everyone was going to be there?”

Emma scoffed back. “Harry has bailed so many times. Niall’s invited me to dinner with them a lot and Harry’s maybe come like.. three times.”

Ivy felt a sense of relief wash through her body. Maybe she’d get lucky and he wouldn’t show up at all. She didn’t want to be so down and out all night, she wanted to get to know everyone and have a nice time. Harry’s presence wasn’t going to allow her to do that - even if he didn’t speak to her, the thoughts would be stuck in her head.

“Don’t worry about it, though.” Emma said suddenly, well aware of the tension building in the car. “Niall will probably try to kill him if he says something else crazy to you. He’s been very upset about it.”

“Really? I.. I told him it was okay.”

“I’m not supposed to tell you this, but I’m going to.” Emma said with a sigh. “He told me he really gave it to Harry when he got back home that morning. He said Harry didn’t really say much back. Niall made sure that he knew how shitty it was, though.”

Ivy felt a pinch in her heart. She really enjoyed Niall and being around him had never given her a hard time. He was a good friend and clearly he was willing to take up for her. She thought about her brother for a moment and how protective he had been of her. She wondered if Niall felt that way about her, like he had to take up for her because nobody else would. Maybe he was just being a good friend.

“It’s not that big of a deal anymore.. but I appreciate Niall taking up for me.”

Ivy was familiar with the restaurant they were at. She had been once or twice before, but she couldn’t quite remember how the food was. Emma gestured Ivy to follow her through the restaurant after Niall sent her a text saying where they were sitting. Ivy wasn’t as nervous as she had been, since she learned that Harry would most likely be a no show for the night. The feeling taking over her now was just excitement. She was ready to see Michelle again and maybe get to know her better.

When they approached the table, Niall stood up to greet Emma. Cory was sitting at one end of the table, Niall was on the opposite end. Zayn and Michelle were seated on the other side of the table next to each other, Michelle positioned in front of Niall. She smiled as they waved at her. Cory shot her an extra toothy grin and nodded to the seat next to him.

“I was told this one is yours.” He said with a laugh.

“I suppose so.” She figured Emma had gave Niall a heads up about the desired seating arrangements.

“How’ve you been?” Zayn asked once Ivy got settled in the seat between Cory and Emma.

“I’ve been okay. How’s everything at the shop?”

“Pretty good lately.”

Emma interrupted to point out the obvious. “Where’s Alyssa?”

Zayn let out a sigh and lifted his brows. “She wasn't feeling well. She decided to stay home. I tried to get her to come, but.. she wouldn’t.”

“Hi, Ivy! You look so pretty.” Michelle beamed from across the table, pleased to see the girl she now considered a friend had actually shown up.

A bit of blush slid over Ivy’s cheeks as she felt Cory glance her way. “Thanks. So do you!”

Ivy tried to calm her tingling nerves by looking around the table. The four of them had glasses of water in front of them but it didn’t look like anyone had picked up their menus. Maybe they were waiting for everyone to arrive before browsing. Emma was mumbling to Niall about something, leaving Ivy unable to use her as a distraction. Cory was texting someone on his phone, and Zayn was having a conversation with Michelle about a meal he’d been wanting to try. Ivy swallowed gently and lifted the menu that was positioned in front of her. She couldn’t remember what she got the few times she had been here, so she just decided to look at all the options. Nothing was jumping out to her, but she was hoping she’d settle on a steak or maybe some sort of pasta. Niall’s voice caught her attention as he started to talk, seemingly addressing everyone at the table.

“Harry’s a few minutes out.” He said before setting his phone back on his lap.

Emma turned her head and immediately met Ivy’s glare. She dropped her brows and gave her an apologetic frown. Zayn caught the reaction and smiled a little, knowing the risks of how the night could go.

“He’ll behave better here, I promise, Ivy.” He said, taking a drink of his water.

Michelle rolled her eyes and huffed. “He better. The other night was ridiculous.”

“I gave him hell for it, don’t worry.” Niall’s voice was low as he read over the menu, not thrilled about the subject coming back up.

“He’s got an attitude problem sometimes, but.. once ya get to know him, he’s alright.” Cory shrugged, attempting to give Ivy some hope. She wasn’t feeling it, though.

Emma wanted to say something rude in return, but she chose not to. Despite what happened, Harry was everyone’s friend here, and she didn’t want to be mean. Just like Ivy didn’t want to say a word about it either. Even though the situation involved her, she didn’t feel as though she had a place to speak badly about him. She didn't know him.

“I can’t believe he’s actually coming.” Zayn snickered after a few moments of silence.

Michelle laughed. “Right! He’s such a homebody.. unless it’s the bar.”

“He said something about wanting a break from the guitar.” Niall said, leaning forward so he could engage with Cory, too. “He’s been practicing for some songs. He wants to play live more.”

Cory cocked his eyebrow in surprise. “Really? I thought he hated playing live?”

Niall lifted just one of his shoulders. “He wants to do a few songs, apparently.”

Ivy was intrigued by the conversation. Her mind began to slip as they continued to talk about it. She could picture him on stage with a guitar strapped around him, his big hands handling the instrument with grace. His fingers sliding over the strings as he played, his rockstar appearance becoming brighter and more striking. A call of her name made her snap back to reality.

“Yes?” She replied to whoever said it, she wasn’t sure.

“I said.. have you picked what you’re going to get?”

It was Emma. Her voice was low as she leaned closer into Ivy. Everyone else was still talking about Harry’s guitar playing, which she was trying her best to drown out.

“I’m not sure yet.” She hadn’t realized she was still holding the menu, but not actually absorbing the words on it.

“Hm, me either.”

Ivy wasn’t quite sure why she was starting to have those thoughts about Harry again - the ones that cause her to drift off in a trance and picture him doing different things, wondering what kind of shows and movies he liked, imagining what he would look like on stage singing a certain song, and of course trying her best to hear him say nicer things to her. This night was meant to be refreshing, but it seems he has ruined something for her yet again.

Emma noticed that she was acting a bit quiet, so she decided to spark up a conversation. “You know, Ivy, I bet it would be fun to have everyone over one night at our place. You cook everything like a professional chef. I know they’d enjoy it.”

“Almost everyone.” Cory muttered with a chuckle, Ivy couldn’t tell if it was meant as a joke or if he was serious. Harry wouldn’t come over to their house, never in a million years.

“Perhaps so. I haven’t hosted more than two people before, though.”

Niall chimed in quickly. “Don’t worry, make as many portions as you want. I’ll make sure there’s nothing left.”

Everyone shared a laugh, which was easing the tension Ivy was trying so hard to cut down inside of her. She wasn’t uncomfortable with these people, it was the person that wasn’t here yet that was making her nervous. Niall put his hands up in defense as Michelle and Zayn mocked him for wanting to eat everything all the time.

“Trust me, one bite of the food that girl makes, and you’d want it all, too.” He said with a proud smile.

Emma nodded in agreement. “She’s incredible. Even stuff that’s frozen or out of a box tastes better when she makes it.

Ivy grinned, happy to know that she does something impressive. “It’s all about what you add to it. Anything can be good if you know what to drop in it.”

Zayn was about to say something when Cory suddenly blurted out a ‘hey’ that caught everyone’s attention. Ivy looked up and immediately felt her stomach freeze up. There stood Harry at the end of the table, a leather jacket hugging his arms as he looked down the table, giving them a quick lift of his hand.

“What’s up?” He said, almost in a happy tone.

“You’re finally out the house.” Zayn laughed, making a smirk grow on Harry’s pink lips.

“Yeah, and out of that damn store.” He mumbled, giving Niall a glance as he sat his hand on the back of the empty chair next to Zayn.

“Not my fault you scheduled a lesson this late.” Niall didn’t seem to care about his comment.

Emma’s hand suddenly hit against Ivy’s leg beneath the table as Harry pulled out the chair and sat down. Ivy felt a skip in her pulse as she realized he was sitting in front of her and not in front of Cory, where she assumed he would’ve sat. Emma wanted to say something, but obviously she couldn’t without being heard. So, she simply squeezed Ivy’s leg before letting it go and decided she’d apologize later. He grabbed his jacket and tugged it off his body, laying it in the chair next to him. His arms were exposed now, his black t-shirt tight over his chest.

“Haven’t ordered yet, have we?” Harry asked as he grabbed the menu and shot a look down the table, then one towards Cory.

“No, not yet.” Zayn mumbled his reply, his eyes returning to the menu.

“Cory, did you like the steak with that mushroom sauce last time we came here?” Emma asked curiously, clearly unable to decide on what she wanted to get.

He hummed for a second as he thought back to it. “It was alright. Bit too much for me, though.”

“Just get what you usually get, babe.” Niall said, a smile laced in his words.

“Where’s Alyssa?” Harry’s deep voice stuck out among the small group, she was so used to hearing everyone else that his words grabbed her attention way too quickly.

“She’s sick.” Zayn told him.

He didn’t say anything back, and Ivy thanked the stars for it. If he would just stay quiet, then she’d be able to focus on everyone else and not on him. She grunted lightly, not loud enough for someone to hear. Why was she thinking about him anyway? She wanted to scream at herself. This person literally insulted her and made fun of her, why the hell is she so infatuated by him just sitting at the same table as her?

After a few minutes of small talk among the table, but mostly silence from Ivy, a waiter appeared ready to take down everyone’s orders. He started at the back of the table, letting each person take their time to decide since a few of them, including Emma, were not completely certain with what they wanted. Ivy had picked the dish she thought would be good, so she waited patiently for her turn. As Harry started to speak to the man, she lifted her eyes to watch him. The way his eyes darted down to the menu to make sure he was saying the right thing made her heart jolt. She furrowed her brows at her reaction and very lightly shook her head. She wanted to slap herself across the face. His lips moved so effortlessly as he spoke, confidence was oozing out of him. Not a single ounce of hesitation seemed to exist in his body.

When it finally came time to tell the waiter what she wanted, Ivy aimed to be carefree and confident with her reply. She was doing fine as she said the name of the dish, but as she went to request there be no peppers on her dish, she saw Harry’s eyes land on her for the first time since he arrived. Despite being seated directly across from her, he had acted like she wasn’t even there. She stumbled over her words and had to double check that the dish even came with peppers in the first place, which it did. His stare was hard and fixed perfectly on her as she spoke. Just as she finished and turned her head back, she caught his stare for a second. It felt like an hour, like time had frozen and it was just the two of them. He gently furrowed his brows before looking down at his lap where his phone was resting on his leg. She felt a little intimidated by it, even though she had done the same thing to him just moments ago… She hadn’t realized she was staring at him just as hard as he stared back her way.

A sigh of relief quietly slipped past Ivy’s lips. She felt like he was judging her for speaking. She feared he would call her out for her order and tell her how stupid she sounded. Why would he do that though? She was caught in between wanting him to look at her again and never wanting to see him again..

The waiter walked off after taking Cory’s order, and the table was left to fend for themselves until dinner arrived. Ivy was not about to be the first person to speak, but it didn’t matter because Cory took the reins.

He turned slightly to face Ivy. “So, Ivy, are you like the rest of us? Do you play any music?”

She laughed at the thought of that ever happening. She shook her head and took a quick swig of her water before shifting her head to look towards him. Emma was listening, but she could hear a quieter conversation about a sports even happening between Zayn and Niall.

“Definitely not.”

“No musical bones at all, huh?”

Emma grinned. “She’s great at karaoke!”

Cory smiled back. “Is that so? The bar we play at has karaoke nights every now and then.”

“Karaoke?” Niall said as he heard bits of the conversation. “Please tell me you girls aren’t planning another night out.”

Emma smacked his arm. “We’re great at karaoke! We bring you the full show.”

“It’s a show, alright.” Niall chuckled out, not able to contain his amusement.

“We’re passionate about our karaoke songs.” Ivy told Cory, mindlessly gesturing her hand in the air as she spoke. “Emma’s a bit more theatrical than I am.”

“Until it’s I Love Rock ‘n Roll and Ivy is head banging.” Emma let out a squeal as Ivy playfully punched her thigh, not wanting to be too embarrassed in front of everyone.

“I think I’ll need to see these performances some day.” Cory said, leaning his elbows on the table as he set his eyes back on Ivy.

“I’d honestly say I go crazier for Crimson and Clover.” Ivy shrugged as she rested her back against the chair, her eyes trailing over to Emma.

She pursed her lips as she thought about it. “You’re right. You love that one more.”

“I’ll remember all this when the bar has a karaoke night. I’ll want proof, Ivy.” Zayn said with a lift of his lips.

Harry cleared his throat and to Ivy’s surprise, he joined the conversation. “Joan Jett, eh? You wanna be real rockstars.” His eyes were focused on Emma, though.

She gave him a wave of her hand. “We can out sing you guys any day.”

“Oh, okay then.” Niall laughed out.

“I’d love to see you try.” Harry had a gentle chuckle follow his words.

Ivy was almost taken by shock at that sound, and how nice he was speaking with everyone else. Of course, he hadn’t said a word to her, but at least he was being polite to the rest of them. It was a surprise that he was capable of expressing joy. She hoped that meant the rest of the dinner would go well and he would just ignore her.

Just as quick as he joined the banter, he stopped replying and got on his phone again. Cory and Zayn were exchanging words on some song they wanted to cover the next time they had a show. Niall and Michelle were bonding over their love of one of the dessert options on the menu.

Emma adjusted herself so that she was facing Ivy more. “Niall can get a schedule from the owner.. I’d love to do karaoke again. It’s been so long.”

“Yeah, it would be fun! I’m up for it whenever.”

The wait for the food was a bit longer than anticipated due to the crowded restaurant, but nobody was complaining. For a while, they all talked amongst themselves about different random topics. Sometimes Harry would chirp out a response, but he was mostly fixated on his phone. Nobody cared to mention it for a while, until Niall made a snide comment after Harry ignored the question Zayn had for him.

“He’s probably texting ole girl.”

The statement made Ivy alert and she began to listen to them tease him. He huffed and gave him a quick lift of his middle finger. Zayn was laughing with Niall, and it seemed that they were on the same page of this inside joke.

“I don’t talk to that bitch anymore.” Harry clarified as he sat his phone down on his leg.

“Why’s that? Can’t keep up with her needs?” Zayn smirked.

“She’s a whore.” Harry shrugged a shoulder carelessly. “A clingy one.”

“She was a bit crazy, huh? Always just showed up at the house.” The sigh that left Niall’s mouth led Ivy to believe this girl wasn’t well liked.

Harry crossed his arms over his chest. “She was fucking crazy.”

“Isn’t that why you had to change your number?” Michelle asked.

“Yeah. She couldn’t take a hint.” Harry mumbled back.

Ivy was curious about the situation, but the feeling of being nosy was making her dislike herself. She didn’t want to pry or seem like she wanted to be informed of all the drama, so she just tried to ignore it and focus on something else. But Harry’s voice kept on coming out, and she was unable to listen to anything else. Her own racing thoughts weren’t enough to keep her in a trance.

Cory added a comment. “At least she stopped coming to the shows”

“She was literally obsessed with you.” Michelle was giggling about it now, leading Ivy to think that they picked on him about this a lot. Maybe he was fine with it, or maybe he’d get annoyed eventually and blow his top. She was anticipating the outcome.

Harry snarled his lip and shook his head, his words cold and honest. “I hit it a few times and she got.. weird about it.”

“Made her fall for ya.” Zayn nudged his elbow into Harry’s side.

He rolled his eyes and shoved him back. “Please, she was sleeping with anyone who spared her a glance.”

“You sound disappointed she wasn’t all yours.” Cory smirked.

“I’d rather be celibate for the rest of m’life than fuck her ever again.”

Ivy felt her nose scrunch up for a split second at the rather insensitive words Harry said. She didn’t really like the way he easily spoke down on his girl, even if she didn’t know the context or much about the story. She found it rude that he would talk about someone that way, it made her wonder what he said about others.

“One day you’ll get you a real girlfriend, Styles.” Niall said as he gave Emma a wink.

“Not the life I want to live.” Harry was quick to remind them of that.

“Don’t knock it til you try it.” Niall knew the way he handled his relationships was a lot different than what Harry preferred, but he never missed an opportunity to tease him.

“Being tied down isn’t something I want to waste time with.” Harry mindlessly picked up the fork that was placed in front of him and started to twirl in his fingers, staring at the silver as it reflected the lights above them.

The conversation shifted to something else as Cory brought up a random topic. Ivy was grateful in a sense, she didn’t want to listen to him belittle someone anymore. It made her stomach churn and a foul taste stayed in her mouth. Harry didn’t seem like a gentleman before all of this, and now she was sure he was far from that title. It was unfortunate really, she felt as though his attractiveness was a wasted feature. No matter how good looking someone is, being a decent and kind person was more important in her opinion. Harry was neither of those things. Perhaps there was a way she could convince herself she was just having all these conflicting thoughts about him because he was conventionally attractive - because obviously his personality wasn’t winning her over.

Even when everyone’s plates were brought out, the conversations among the table continued. Ivy was amused by how quickly this group could get deep into one topic and suddenly switch to another. She participated every now and then, but most of the things she felt out of place talking about. They were swapping stories and memories, embarrassing one another and making jokes. It was a good time and she was able to learn some things about some of them. Of course, Harry was the quietest the entire time. He mostly made snide comments and sarcastic remarks, but every now and then he’d laugh or smile at someone’s words. Ivy kept her eyes on anyone but him, trying not to get caught up in his surface level details.

“That steak looks perfect.” Cory said as she stuck a piece in her mouth.

She laughed gently, covering her lips so that no food would show as she chewed. “It’s so good.”

She opted to get a small one, just in case she wasn’t that hungry. She didn’t want to look too ridiculous in front of them, besides she was trying to be mindful of proportions. Nobody else seemed to care what anyone thought about their meals, they were enjoying themselves without that insecurity creeping in.

“Sure that’s gonna fill you up?” Cory laughed a little.

She had already finished what she wanted of the potato side, and even though she figured she could finish everything on the plate, she didn’t want to. “Yeah, steak always fills me up quick.”

Ivy wasn’t sure if he was going to keep the conversation going, so she took another bite and waited quietly next to him. He chose not to, though, and instead sparked up a chat with Harry.

“What songs are you practicing? Niall said you wanted to play live.”

Harry shrugged his shoulders. “Rather not say.. in case I fuck ‘em up.”

A sting shot Ivy’s chest as she listened to the vulgar words that so easily flew from his mouth. She didn’t mind being around people who swore, but sometimes it wasn’t necessary. She felt like he was just selfish with everything he did, and didn’t care what anyone else might think. It wasn’t a positive thing in her eyes.

“You give yourself a lot of hell, but you’re pretty good.”

Harry shook his head lightly. “I’m decent.”

“Better at the guitar than I am.” Zayn threw in a quick comment, he had been listening loosely to them and Niall at the same time.

“I told him he’s been doing fine.” Niall said, cutting into the conversation as well. “He gets in his head.”

Harry grunted. “M’just not good at paying attention on stage. I can’t sing and play at the same time.”

Cory gave him some words of encouragement and they went back and forth about the guitar for a few minutes. Ivy had stopped listening to what they were actually saying. Her attention had shifted fully on to Harry. She watched as he moved his head back and forth, his piercing green eyes staring at Cory, then over towards Niall. Occasionally he’d glance at Zayn since the conversation kept his head on a swivel. Emma and Michelle were busy eating and listening, not really caring to add any statements in. The topic had changed strictly to the songs they performed live. They were talking about which ones they want to improve on and what to cut or keep for the next live show.

Ivy was drowning in her own thoughts as she carefully moved her eyes over Harry. She looked at every piece of him she could see from her seat. She noted every small detail, every little expression his face created and every lift of his lips as he spoke. She was in a trance, her mind full of dizzying thoughts about Harry. Whenever he spoke, her eyes fell to his lips so she could watch them move and catch a glimpse of his tongue and teeth. She was admiring the veins in his neck for longer than she realized, her eyes practically glued to his skin.

As the conversation became more diverse again, and his involvement was dialed back, he continued to eat. He would chew and look towards whoever was talking, paying attention but keeping to himself mostly. Ivy didn’t realize that she had been staring at him for so long, without blinking very often. Her fork was frozen in her hand as it rested on her plate. It was so easy for her to get distracted by him, even when she was just disgusted by his behavior earlier. It was dangerously easy..

A handful of minutes had ticked by before Harry suddenly shot his eyes to her. “Do you mind staring in a different direction?”

“Harry.” Zayn sighed heavily, afraid that a repeat of the other night will occur. He was about to say something else when Harry scoffed, not seeing how he was in the wrong.

Ivy felt her heart stop and her chest start to tighten as she realized he was talking to her. She swallowed the lump that quickly formed in her throat and tried to compose herself. She forced her eyes down to her plate. She could feel everyone’s stares on her now. Zayn wasn’t the only one that was afraid something would happen. Harry shook his head and tore his eyes off of her, glad to see that she had decided to look away.

“I mean, shit, she’s staring right at me and m’trying to eat.”

“Alright, man, just don’t be so rude about it.” Zayn mumbled to him, trying to keep him relaxed.

Ivy’s throat was dry, but she tried her best to speak. She licked her lips and nervously moved her hand down to her lap. She wanted to hide both of them, but she couldn’t lift the fork off the plate - it felt as if it weighed a thousand pounds. She rubbed her fingers against her leg in an attempt to ease her nerves. His tone was harsh, like it had been when he insulted her, and all she could imagine was more of that treatment. He could say anything he wanted, anything to hurt her feelings or make her more embarrassed.. She was terrified.

“I’m sorry.. I.. I didn’t realize I was staring. I was.. thinking about something.” She mustered up as much of her voice as she could, but her words were shaky.

“I don’t care what you were thinking about.” Harry sighed out immediately, as if he was waiting for her to say something laced with sass like she had at the bar. That part of her was absent tonight.

“Right, sorry.” A quiet mutter came out, but nothing more.

Everyone else looked at each other for a few moments, unsure if they were in the clear or not. Harry had picked up where he left off on his plate, not worried about her anymore. Ivy was not as easily relieved, though. Her palms were becoming clammy, her teeth bit down on her quivering lip - she wanted to cry. She could feel the flames dancing on her face, her skin flushed bright red. Was there any possible way to disappear?

Although the dinner went smooth of the most part, Ivy still felt a bit uneasy with what Harry said to her. She tried her best to not let it bother her, but it was difficult since he was literally right in front of her. She made sure to keep her eyes on the others or on her plate, and nowhere near him. No other rude comments were made for the remainder of the night.

Emma was standing a few feet away talking to Niall about something as everyone was gathered outside of the building in the parking area. Ivy was waiting for Emma patiently, listening to Michelle as she was talking about a movie she wanted to watch when she got home. Cory was texting on his phone next to them while Zayn put a cigarette to his lips. And as for Harry, well he was walking off towards a motorcycle.

As it started up, the loud sound caught her attention. She looked towards it, not realizing he had gotten on the bike. She gulped gently as she watched him tie his hair into a bun on the back of his head before sliding his helmet on. Nobody had told her he drove a motorcycle, not that she expected them to tell her every little detail about him, but she was surprised by it. Within a few seconds, he was gone from the parking lot and her eyes moved back to Michelle, who never stopped talking.

Emma strolled back to her, gesturing towards the car. “I’ve gotta run to Niall’s. I left the charger for my laptop over there.”

Ivy nodded, following her back to the bar. “That’s fine.”

“Shouldn’t take long.” She promised with a smile.

Ivy was silent in the car, and Emma didn’t seem to notice anything wrong with her. Maybe she was better at hiding than she thought. Her stomach was tossing itself around as the anxiety ridden thoughts about Harry spiraled in her mind, a nonstop dizzy feeling taking over. She wished she could unmeet him, wish that he never existed and they never crossed paths. There was no explanation for the way she lost herself at the smallest glimpse of him, why was she so concerned with him? Her brain felt swollen as the thoughts pounded through her mind.

It was the same recurring thoughts of ‘what did I do wrong?’ and ‘why does he hate me?’ that were driving her insane. Harry didn’t owe her anything, they were not friends and she wouldn’t even consider him an acquaintance - yet, she was obsessed with the idea of what if. What if she got Harry to like her? Would he actually want to be her friend or would he just dislike her forever? If they met under different circumstances with nobody else involved, would things unfold the same way? What if she was able to befriend him, would her obsession with his appearance fade away and a friendship emerge?

She shook her head lightly at her own thoughts, saying a silent prayer begging them to vanish. Unfortunately, she had accepted the reality that Harry wouldn’t just disappear from her life. She was friends with Emma, and she associated herself with him. Their paths would cross again eventually, no matter how long she stayed apart from him. He wasn’t going anywhere, whether either of them liked it or not..

“Are you staying in the car?” Emma asked as they suddenly pulled up to a duplex.

“Actually, I need to use the bathroom.” Ivy sighed as she grabbed her phone from her purse. “Do you think Niall would mind?”

Emma grinned. “Of course not!”

When they got out of the car, Ivy let her eyes explore her surroundings. She glanced up at the sky, the moon shining halfway lit surrounded by stars. The duplex itself seemed nice. The two entrances were at the front, side by side. She noticed a familiar car that belonged to Niall. The occupants next door didn’t appear to be home right now. Emma knocked on the door, but didn’t wait for anyone to answer. They walked inside and the smell of some sort of cedar scented candle hit them in the face. Ivy scrunched her nose up at the smell, but didn’t comment on it.

“Breaking in?” Niall asked with a laugh as he appeared from a hallway tucked next to a staircase.

“Is my thing still in your room?” Emma asked as she met him half way, reaching out to grab his hands as if she hadn’t seen him in days.

He squeezed her palms and pulled her against him, his lips hitting her forehead. “Yeah.”

“Oh.” She leaned back to look at him. “Ivy has to use the bathroom.”

Niall shifted on his foot so he was looking past Emma. “Upstairs.. first door when you walk up.”

“Thank you.” She smiled politely before heading in the direction Niall gave her.

They disappeared down the hall, going to Niall’s room to get the item Emma had left. Ivy sat her hand on the railing and slowly slid it up as she ascended the stairs. She kept her head low, watching her footing as she stepped up. The house was on the smaller side, but it felt comfortable and cozy. It definitely was furnished like it was just men living here, she noticed how bland the decorations were. She was actually surprised Emma hadn’t influenced anything.

She reached the top of the stairs and instantly saw the door Niall was referring to. She walked to it, glancing around as she saw a few pictures hanging on the wall and a plant in the corner that she wasn’t sure was real or not. To her left, she saw another door that wasn’t shut quite all the way. She wondered if that was Harry’s room. Based on the outside of the house, she assumed Niall’s room was the only room downstairs in the hall. It wasn’t that big of a place, especially when you consider it’s split into two living areas.

Ivy turned her attention back to the bathroom door and reached for the knob. The very moment her fingers grazed the cold metal to grab it, the door swung open. A gust of wind gently pushed her bangs on her forehead. A grunt left her mouth as she ran into something suddenly. Her eyes shot up and she nearly had a heart attack. There stood Harry, his eyes peering down at her as an irritated look stuck to his features. Ivy backed up just a step or two, her eyes still locked with his. She wanted to scream and run down the stairs to get Emma, but she was frozen right there in the small hallway.

Obviously she knew Harry lived here, and she assumed he was headed home after dinner like everyone else, but the shock of seeing him was enough to make her forget all that. Why was he here, standing in the bathroom doorway with his lips shaped in a snarl and his eyes coldly staring at her?

“Oh, sorry.” She mumbled quietly, unsure of what to say to him.

She was in his space, not in a public place where others could hear them. In fact, they were alone now. He could spit any terrible thing out at her and nobody would be able to defend her. Zayn couldn’t tell him to shut up, Niall couldn’t shoot a rude comment back to him.. they were alone. Harry was just as surprised to see her in his house, but he didn’t care enough to ask her why she was here or what she was doing. He just wanted to get to his room.

“Can you move?” He asked with a dead tone, his brows lifting as he gave her a rude look.

“Oh, um sorry, yeah.” She stepped to the side, allowing him to walk right past her and to the other door.

When it slammed shut, she nodded to herself. That was definitely his room. It took her a moment to catch her breath, but she finally went into the bathroom. She was nervous more than anything. He had just come out of here, what if he thought it was weird she was in his house using his bathroom? Sure, Niall lived here, too, but she was certain that Harry had his own unique way of thinking about things. She tried not to think about it as she handled her business. Part of her was annoyed that she decided to get out of the car. She just spent the entire drive thinking about how much she hated being around him, and she just had to do it again.. not even twenty minutes after parting ways. Harry wasn't going anywhere, and she was not prepared for it.

Later that night, once they both changed and took showers to cleanse themselves of the night, Emma suggested that they bake some cookies and sit on the couch to catch up. Ivy was in a pair of pajama pants and a loose fitting shirt that didn’t match, her feet covered with thick, fuzzy socks as she curled up on the end of the couch under a blanket. Emma didn’t seem to be as cold as her, though.

“So.. overall, how did you feel about dinner?” Emma asked with a big sigh as she grabbed a cookie from the plate sitting on the couch between them. They were facing each other, Emma’s curious eyes watching her closely. “I know there was a little hiccup.. but other than that.”

Ivy took a deep, slow breath and pushed it out, her eyes dancing up towards the ceiling. “It was good, aside from.. that.”

“Yeah? I really wanted you to enjoy it. Be around everyone in a different setting, ya know.”

Ivy nodded, her eyes falling back down to meet Emma’s. “I had a great time. I’m trying not to let his comment bother me.”

She shook her hand in the air. “Don’t let it! He’s just a dick.”

“Other than him, everyone seems pretty cool. I already loved Michelle anyway, and Zayn’s so nice.”

Emma smirked gently. “What about Cory?”

“He’s nice, too. Everyone treated me like I had been their friend for years.”

“Niall said he thinks Cory likes you.. but I don’t know.” Emma had back a giggle.

Ivy rolled her eyes and shrugged. “I don’t think so. He’s just nice and he seemed interested in asking me questions.. instead of just wanting to scream at me like Harry probably does.”

“Harry behaved most of the time. I was surprised, really. I guess he.. can’t fake being nice entirely.”

Ivy wanted to talk about the funny stories she listened to and share how she felt about Michelle, Zayn, and Cory, but a lingering question was burning in her mind. She listened to Emma talk about the night for a little bit as she tried to think about something else to bring up. Maybe it would be best to just talk about the others and not focus anything on Harry specifically.

“Michelle has already told me she wants to have a girls day with you, and Alyssa, too! I hate that she had to miss dinner.” Emma said with a frown, grabbing another cookie.

“What’s the story about the girl?” Ivy blurted, her eyes glued to the cookie she was holding in her hand. She wanted to eat it, but she was so consumed by the thought of Harry that she just kept her eyes on it instead. She couldn’t move without a new thought popping up in her mind.

“What?” Emma was actually confused.

Ivy lifted her eyes for just a second. “The one Harry was talking about.”

Emma let out a light ‘oh’ and then finished off the cookie before saying anything. She wiped her fingers on her shirt and took a drink of her water. Ivy stayed patient, not caring how long it took to get to the point as long as she was informed of it. Emma finally started explaining.

“Niall’s told me about her.. Harry hooked up with her a few times and I think she thought they were something more.” She gave Ivy a quick eye roll. “Harry wasn’t into her like that and apparently he tried to ghost her, but she would come to their house and to Zayn’s shop.. to the shows, all that. Just some poor girl who fell for his trap, I guess.”

“His trap?” She was rubbing her fingers the cookie, staring at it again like it was the most striking thing she’d ever seen.

“Yeah.. Niall says he sorta pulls all the right cards to get a girl to hook up with him.. so he’ll play along with them and once it’s over.. it’s over. He doesn’t date, apparently.”

Ivy cocked a brow. “That doesn't shock me.”

Emma shrugged, not really concerned with Harry’s activities. “I mean.. he’s always been nice to me. He’s funny sometimes.. I guess he’s just really into hooking up.”

Ivy held her tongue for a minute, not sure if she wanted to tell Emma about what happened at Niall’s earlier. She thought about it hard, weighing the different outcomes. Emma wouldn’t say anything too crazy or make her feel like she done something wrong, so she chose to tell her.

“I literally ran into him when I went to the bathroom.”

Emma seemed surprised by that. “Really? Did he go crazy?”

A laugh fell from Ivy’s lips. “No.. surprisingly. But.. he wasn’t very polite about it.”

“Sounds like Harry to me.” Emma reached for another cookie, not carrying how many she ate in one sitting.

“Yeah, I guess so.”

“While it’s on my mind..” Emma started with a higher pitched tone, sitting up to lean her elbows on her knees. “Niall wants to invite you on a little weekend thing they have planned.”

Ivy lifted a brow. “What is it?”

“Basically, there’s this really, like, underground or low key, whatever band that they all like. They’re playing at some pretty big club event space place, I’m not sure what to call it, but it’s just an hour and a half away.” Emma said as her eyes roamed over the room while she wracked her brain for all the details. “Niall said they have some stuff planned to do during the day, too. They split hotel rooms and stuff, so it’s not too bad price wise.”

Ivy pondered the idea for a moment, then started to feel unsure. “I don’t want to intrude if it’s like a friends’ trip or whatever.”

“No, no, it’s perfectly fine! Niall was going to ask you at dinner but he forget. He told me to mention it to you when we stopped by his place.” Emma said with a warm smile, hoping it made Ivy feel more comfortable. She didn’t want her to think they wouldn’t want her around.

“It’s just for one weekend?”

Emma nodded. “Yeah. Leave that Friday around noon probably. The show is Friday night. Come home Sunday.”

Growing up, Ivy never had a large friend group while she was in school. Even in college, she didn’t have that many friends. This was the most people she’s been around in a platonic setting. She had always craved to be a part of those cool girl groups in school, always wanted to have slumber parties and huge birthday celebrations. Now was her chance to chase that dream and actually catch it. She pushed aside any doubt and gave Emma a smile.

“I’ll go, yeah. That sounds so fun.”

Emma squealed, clapping her hands together. “I can’t wait!”

She didn’t raise any questions about it. She didn’t need to ask to know that Harry was going to be there. If she had to be around him, she was just going to have to learn to suffer through it in silence. Part of her wanted to be around him anyway, wanted to force him to like her as a friend and be polite to her. It would be a challenge, but she wouldn’t be afraid to try.

[a/n: this is short compared to what’s the come, but it’s necessary that I stop it here! part 4 is going to make up for the short length hehehe anyways, thank u for stopping by & checking this out, I hope it was enjoyable! see u soon]

taglist: @walkingintheheartbreaksatellite @victoriasigaard @ariiscringe @harlowsgirl @lomllover @haniaaa04 @sideboobrry11 @tenaciousperfectionunknown @fangirl509east @fruity-harry @sassamanda77 @lizsogolden @prettygurl-2009 @sincerely-yours-marsbar @boopookie @mypolicemanharryyy @angelbunny222 @mads3502 @harrysredroom @inlikea-coolway @matildasatellite @imaginexxharry

[hisclockworkservants]

Strange Rabbits! Which one is your favourite?

[viviuxd]

INNOCENT LOVE:a viking fell in love with me!

SYPNOSIS: Given away by her father to one of the most feared Viking kings, she finds herself betrothed. However, the clash between their beliefs and traditions threatens to unravel the union before it even begins. PAIRING: Viking x Christian!reader.

TW:difference in spiritual beliefs, mention of polygamy and death.

You inhaled deeply to calm your nerves, digging your nails into the delicate silk dress while observing the nearby door where your 'future husband' awaited. Truly, you had no intention of marrying him, and you would tell him so. You didn't care if rejecting him meant risking your life; you preferred that over marrying a pagan. You were well aware of Viking customs: they married many women, were cruel, killers, and worst of all, they worshipped pagan gods! You definitely couldn't be with someone like that.

Finally, you stopped walking alongside the guards, facing an immense wooden door. One guard effortlessly opened it, and for the first time, the other guard addressed you.

"Please, this way, miss. King Thorkell is waiting for you," he gestured with his hand for you to enter, offering a faint smile.

"Thank you, sir," you expressed your gratitude, delicately bowing your head to display your manners.

You sighed, closing your eyes, nervous. You walked slowly forward, feeling your legs tremble, your stomach churn, and a nauseating sensation. Upon lifting your gaze, a pang shot through your torso. The mighty King Thorkell stared at you intently, with a lethal gaze, as if he could see your sins. You swallowed hard and, with great effort, made a bow, inclining your body forward.

"King Thorkell."

°१९*०°

She entered the hall escorted by the guards I assigned and I noticed how her whole body trembled as she approached me. Her fear was evident, and I relished in her submission.

I knew she was Christian; they were very ignorant and weak in this world. I despised all those idiots, but the woman in front of me seemed different. Clearly, the ideals she sought in a partner were not ones I could offer, and her innocence was remarkable, her beautiful eyes looking at me with fear and obedience... she was so charming that I desired her for myself in that very moment.

"King Thorkell." I felt a tingling down my back as I heard her sweet voice. I cursed myself for summoning her so soon; I should have prepared for her.

°१९*०°

Your eyes fixated on his bulging muscles, evident even through his clothing. You swallowed hard, realizing the thoughts you had; a Viking could never interest you.

"The wedding will take place as soon as possible, so you shouldn't worry about that. From now on, you will reside in the palace, and a separate chamber will be assigned to you until you adapt. Do you understand, miss?"

You sensed his arrogance in his final words, and you clenched your fist a bit tighter. "How disrespectful," you muttered to yourself.

"King, if you allow me, I have something to say..." You wanted to clear your throat upon hearing your trembling voice. "Speak quickly, I don't have much time."

It was your first conversation, and you truly detested how he addressed you, but you chose to ignore it and demonstrate that you indeed had manners.

"I do not wish to marry you, Your Majesty."

At that moment, pride surged within you. Your words sounded so serious that you felt proud of yourself.

"I don't say it to offend you, only that it goes against my values to unite with..." You paused, carefully choosing your words to avoid upsetting him. "Someone like you."

You saw his jaw tense, and you took a step back when he rose from his throne and slowly walked towards you, his face filled with hatred. You stopped abruptly, colliding with a nearby column, finding yourself cornered by Thorkell.

He leaned towards you, the noticeable difference in height between you two, positioning himself right in front of your face, too close for comfort.

"Someone like me?" He murmured, his breath dangerously nearing you.