#(ok actually I would change wanda's ending specifically WHY it happens like I can believe a lot of things

[duchess-of-new-shire]

This particular flavor of internet media taste really speaks to the far reaching and pervasive nature of nuclear family ideals actually

Like if it's not focused on a romantic pair or one half of a romantic pair (specifically a man) than it's seen as inherently "bad" or "boring" or "off topic"

Especially in the case of the sandman I find this fucking ridiculous because like. Telling stories is the point. It's not supposed to be a neat little unit it's a sprawling web of narratives and characters and lives, intersecting and tangling and leaving loose ends.

There are a lot of stories that do gay shippy junk and I really like those stories, but the sandman does something far more interesting and it should not be punished by its audience for daring to give us something exciting

and to be completely honest i don’t even think the majority of the show!sandman fandom on tumblr would even like a game of you! dream barely shows up. there aren’t really any (human) male characters to ship, only—qué horror—canonically queer women. hell, who’s the white dude people are gonna latch onto? fuckin’ george, the asshole whose face gets sliced from his head, brought back to life, and nailed to a wall while the rest of his corpse hangs out in the bathtub? and aside from the tumblr fandom, imdb ratings went down significantly when season 1 pivoted to focus on rose, and reviewers complained about how there wasn’t enough of dream. multiple factors point to the idea that a game of you would have an extremely disappointing audience response, and unfortunately that might reinforce the idea to executives and such that people don’t want to see wlw stories at front and center. and our girls deserve so much better than all of this potential bullshit. so i would in fact prefer for a game of you not to get adapted in full, because it would break my heart a little to see people hate on it.

[alyblacklist]

Do you think the keenler storyline is going anywhere? I used to be sure that it was, I mean why else would they have them kiss and have sex. However now that Liz has been gone for five episodes and she is being quite mean to Ressler (the whole pointing a gun to his head and pretty much telling Cooper about them sleeping together) I feel like a relationship between them will never happen and the writers are just trying to make us forget or dislike Keenler.

Ok, on to the asks about Ressler/Keenler in 8x09 where things were said, but only through contact lenses and earpieces. Thoughts below the jump, because it’s a long post that will (hopefully) address all of these at least in part.

I do think it was Liz speaking through the doppelganger at all relevant times. They haven’t given me a reason not to think that at this point. She knew things only Liz could know. So I assume (unless we get new info) that everything Mia Collins said to Ressler was actually Liz telling her what to say to him (and likewise to Aram and Cooper). I did express to BlacklistRoom on Twitter that they were evil for having faux-Liz call Ressler “Donald” on screen before real Liz does. And at first, I thought maybe that was some sort of signal to Ressler that things were amiss because real Liz wouldn’t do that, but in the end I think it was just the writers playing their usual games. NOT because they hate Keenler or Keenler fans (they’re the ones who made Keenler canon, for God’s sake), but just because they love to toy with fan emotion. They give you a Wing Yee birthday nugget one ep, they throw in a loose “Donald” in another from the lips of a faux-Liz. They know exactly the emotional points to hit if they’re paying attention to social media (and they certainly are, to a point). 

I did catch that accurate observation on Twitter that the doppelganger did not have her finger on the trigger while pointing the gun at Ressler’s head. I’d like to think the actress and crew are careful enough to catch such things as her finger was nowhere near that trigger (and she knew how to shoot that unnamed FBI agent during the chase) so I hope that was purposeful, perhaps as a small signal to the audience that Liz never really intended to hurt Ressler, even though he of course couldn’t see what was going on behind his head. A nod, at least, to the idea that Liz doesn’t really mean to hurt him.

Before I get too much deeper into my personal impressions of the scene, I want to specifically address the anon who wonders if she’s alone in finding it hard to root for Liz or Keenler in all this.

Of course you’re not.

Darker Liz isn’t for everyone. If I had a dollar for every time someone has told me Ressler deserves better than Liz over the past five years, I’d be able to buy you dinner (even at NYC prices). Never mind how many have abandoned the ship over that exact issue or related issues over the seasons. But I also think you know that I don’t share your viewpoint. Maybe that’s why you send me asks, or maybe you’re just using my inbox as an outlet to find those who agree with you. I don’t know and it doesn’t matter (although I admit if it’s the latter, publishing your thoughts on your OWN page rather than in my inbox might be preferable because as much as I enjoy asks to a point, I’m a little tired of ship hand-holding asks. I like what I like and trying to explain it or defend it gets a little tiring.)

All I can say is after five years of deep investment in this fandom and these characters, it takes a LOT more than an absent female lead and a bumpy episode to capsize my ship and send me into the pit of despair. For me, this is the expected price we pay for the ship being canon now versus only at the very end of the show. The Blacklist has never been about showing smooth, happy, relationships. Angst, drama, tension is the name of the game. You have to decide for yourself whether you can stomach that on a week to week basis and especially this season because they warned us – “good AND difficult” – difficult!  - for Keenler. I reconcile the conflict by the fact that Ressler still WANTS Liz and BELIEVES in Liz despite her flaws and if he does, then so do I. The man has some blinders when it comes to Liz, certainly, but not the sort that they love to mock him for on screen. He’s not thinking solely with his male parts brain, he’s thinking with his actual, in his head brain and he LOVES this woman despite her crazy and I love that about him. He’s smarter than most people give him credit for. And I am also of the view that real life and ships do not need to be equivalents. You can love two flawed fictional TV characters without being a person who wants to see those things manifest in real life. (I also ship Wanda and Vision for the record).

So I think we can all agree that this episode – and Liz’s absence generally – has been more “difficult” than good Keenler-wise. Ressler himself told us in those early episodes before her departure that it’s different if you see her, and it certainly is. We’ve been robbed of Liz’s thoughts and emotions entirely ever since she last graced our screen in Ep. 8x04. (And of Ressler’s reaction to said departure, for the most part). At the same time, I think Liz recognizes that too as she hasn’t to our knowledge directly engaged with Cooper, Aram OR Ressler since she left except through surrogates. Purposeful choices on the part of the diabolical writers.

As I said in my earlier ask response tonight, I remain of the view that Liz is in control of her actions and is doing her own risk/benefit assessment in how she responds to the situations she finds herself in. 

I do NOT think that means she has lost all emotion or feeling for Cooper, Aram OR Ressler, but as she explained to Townsend, “Reddington has an army on both sides of the law. I can’t do this alone. I need a partner.” She believes that the Task Force – all of them – are tied to Reddington in their own way, including Ressler, and she doesn’t expect them to violate those arrangements/principles for her. She’s moving outside the boundaries of those relationships to shed light on the secrets that she believes are being kept. Did she involve them this week?  Yes, but I think only because Townsend forced her hand on dealing with his sister. I doubt she would’ve sent her double to the Post Office otherwise. (I totally agree that the Post Office needs better security protocols btw – the idea that Liz can continually breach their defenses has become absolutely laughable at this point).

But, part of that is personal relationships.  She needed Ressler to give her the door codes and he did. Why? Not because he’s her patsy or her f--- boy or whatever derogatory term someone wants to slap on him (!), but because he loves her, flaws and all. The whole letting her go/letting him go thing has always had double meaning, back to S2. 

Cyranoid Liz: You should let me go. Ressler: Those days are over. Cyranoid Liz: Why? Nothing’s changed.

Has nothing changed? He let her go in S2 and then she shot Tom Connolly and he beat himself up over it. Then, the “I can’t let her go” (Ressler pointing the gun in S3 outside the Russian embassy), followed by that car chase and then Red in the next episode, Eli Matchett:

Red: Ressler is a law-enforcement robot. The FBI winds him up– Liz: That’s not true. He’s a person. He’s a good person. Red: Look at me. You need to let that go, Lizzy. I have survived for a very long time now, and I assure you, I didn’t do it by relying on the goodness in people.

I’d submit it has and it hasn’t. All these seasons later, she is once again having a hard time letting him go and so is he (with respect to her).

Ressler: Why’d you call? Liz: I don’t know. I guess– because every time we say goodbye, I’m afraid we might actually mean it.

Both with eyes open wider this time and yet, still wanting the peaceful night, free of all the distractions. 

Yes, he let Liz’s double go physically without much protest. Emotionally? He hasn’t let go of Liz. Not one bit. And Liz saw that, through her cyranoid. He’s still on her side. He still wants to believe in her, no matter what she’s putting him through (and poor Ressler, he’s really enduring a lot – though I hope the tide will turn on that at some point).  He had no reason to open that door, and yet – he did. He doesn’t want that one night to be just ONE night and deep down, I don’t think she does either.

“I won’t give up on you.” 

He hasn’t, yet. “But I still need to do my job, Keen.” She better not push him too far because the day he does is the day I worry. He’s desperate not to repeat the mistakes of the past, he’s desperate to trust her this time. Not because he’s thinking with his small man-part-brain, but with his HEART. He loves her. He’ll do anything he can for her within the limits of his conscience. They are each others’ second chance.

I don’t view Keenler or Ressler’s feelings for Liz or Liz’s manipulations of Ressler as fatal to the ship because I accept that this whole thing – Liz’s mission – is the battle for her soul  that the writers have teased for years . Which side will win? Hopefully the right one. The hopeful one. The one that makes second chances happen.

Cheers.

[deanisridingapolarbear-blog]

Gather around children we are back to: Empyre/GOTG/Teddy’s traitor theories (yaas boys)

To be honest I think @bladorthin​ already wrote down most of the feelings (see his post here) I have about this issue. I was very happy after the last month’s disappointment and it’s clear that Ewing cares for his characters and is overall talented writer and creator here. Never read GOTG but still I’m hooked for this and so excited to get more just like when reading Empyre last year. Also the art and colouring style were something that I enjoyed as well. It pleased my aesthetic eye.

So what do I have to give for this? Theories (as the heading told ya). I’m sure I’m not the only one eagerly anticipating to see when the ”betrayal” storyline starts and I think this is it and I have few ideas how this might go.

Super-Skrull and the Cult Skrulls. Just to me it would not seem too far fetched that old sworn warrior like Super-Skrull would be part of something like that and he is close to Teddy. Teddy trusts him. Also based on some descriptions it seems that this run is going to tie in with S.W.O.R.D stuff and to me Super-Skrull as the bad guy and Cult Skrulls involved it would make sense. and think Valerio Schiti had this picture on his instagram recently and the bottom left ”ray” looked a bit like Billy to me when I first saw it, not sure about that, but that arm is very likely Super-Skrull’s hand right? 

The circle thing (probably around his neck) is something that Billy’s cape has recently had. Teddy has it on his cape so doubt it’s Teddy also Teddy rarely uses hands like that (unlike Super-Skrull). So has Super-Skrull shape shifted to Billy while having Billy trapped somewhere? Will he make Teddy think Billy has betrayed him? Think those are valid options.

Now my initial theory is that Billy won’t betray Teddy and don’t really see that happening. I pack this up currently with the Marvel Voices Pride issue coming out in June. It’s supposed to include story with Teddy and Billy right? Written by Heinberg. Now I know Marvel comics timelines and continuums are blurry at times and the story can take part in the past, present, future or another universe whatever, but hear me out. The issue should be coming out around same time as GOTG issue 15 that probably still ties in with what has started today. I do think the story in Pride issue will be a standalone that does not tie in with any specific storyline as such and probably (hopefully) something not too serious and little fluffy (we all need a bit of fluff right). But I doubt it will take place in the past (might be wrong though) because it just doesn’t really make sense. With the current storyline happening it’s also bit unlikely that the story would be set in the middle of all this Doom and Cult-Skrull stuff, so future it is. Future indicating that there’s going to be a future for Billy and Teddy thus Billy won’t be betraying Teddy, or at least it won’t be anything so drastic that they’d break up. I just doubt that Marvel would include them in that issue if they were about to trash the relationship.

From this theory it’s good to jump to Doom. I noticed that people were a bit annoyed that our boys didn’t beat Doom right away. However, I think they were really taken by surprise. I’m not too familiar with Doom’s history but at least Billy or Teddy haven’t been dealing with him in the space so it would be just natural that they did not expect the robots to be Doom’s creations. Also if you are surprise attacked and shot down (Billy looked quite unconscious there), you are not likely to beat someone like Doom by the snap of your fingers are you? So I think that was kind of well done and planted. And the more I think about this scene the more last years and 2019 comics tie in with all this storyline, or at least with Billy and Teddy in mind.

This panel (sorry bladorthin stole it from your post) made me a bit sceptical that maybe Billy is involved with Teddy’s betrayal after all. 

Something in that line just got me don’t know what but it made me feel like Billy assumed the robots should know about the alliance for some reason. Did he recognise the magic? But then again he was surprised they had magic in them. But then I realised Strikeforce and Vridai (you know the mushroom guys), Billy literally left a doom robot he controlled there so Doom probably managed to get some information through that or it might have let him to the Vridai that had more knowledge/memories of Billy’s. It’s a bit unclear at what point Billy visited Teddy before he left to space but probably after the doom robot part. Still, surely guy like Doom would be able to get his memories and the information about the Alliance one way or another with the help of Vridai.

Also we see that Doom gets Teddy’s sword here, which is another proof for me that Billy hasn’t betrayed Teddy at least with Doom because we see the sword broken in the Aftermath. Or at least they manage to get the sword back. With Doom I get a feeling there might also be involvement of Wanda or Magneto, like whose his bride this time? Does someone know?

But I doubt Billy himself will actually betray his hubby. What I think might be interesting storyline if he makes a deal of some sort with Doom to get Teddy’s sword back or to beat the Cult Skrulls (I think they are going to end up being the big bad guys that leads to the Aftermath cliff-hanger), which to Teddy might appear as a betrayal if he doesn’t get the whole truth at once -> which is why he thinks his grandmother was right but then Billy has gotten help from S.W.O.R.D -> they save Teddy at the end like we see in the Aftermath.

So yeah I still believe it won’t be Billy but I can see now that Super-Skrull might use his shape-shifting and with the cult and all make Billy look like a traitor to Teddy. Also Billy making some sort of deal with Doom to save Teddy’s empire makes sense, it would be something Billy would do. It would be something so selfless and supportive and let’s face it leadership stuff keeping his people safe. But it might look like betrayal to Teddy seeing Doom first stole his sword. Billy can also see alternative realities so he would know that deal with Doom is the only way and all that.

Ok I stop blabbering now, seriously remembering that picture of Valerio’s changed the course of this post and at first I had even Noh-Var in the cards but will leave it for now (don’t believe in that card that much any way). But would like to point out that T’Challa is in that pic too and he was also in the supper picture, he has also used the Sword and knows about the alliance… ok that’s a whole new idea there. I’d say T’Challa ties in with Doom which might lead to Billy’s ”betrayal”, Super-Skrull will be the ultimate traitor with the cult (like honeslty he didn't seem too bothered with the info about them), Billy and Teddy drift of for a bit but ultimately Billy comes in with S.W.O.R.D to save him.

Please let me know what you think about this brainstorm (literally) that I have had here. I think I’m now having lot of pieces and I see them fitting together nicely and wouldn’t be too surprised if they work out. I want a drink if these theories are proved right.

[ephemeralgalaxies]

Loki Ep4 Spoilers below (once more bc I just can't help myself, can I?)

It's been a while since I've had a character as interesting as Mobius to analyze and I have no chill. Spoilers start below:

Also some spoilers for WandaVision but it's been months so hopefully y'all have seen it

TL;DR Mobius really trying to connect back with Loki in order to try and bring the TVA down (and also bc "oops, Loki was right, guess I gotta own up to that bitterness") and it works but it hurts so much. Also see: I can't stop watching this scene over and over trying to understand Mobius' subtle actions bc his reaction here is so different than in all other scenes where he's usually calm or trying to delve deep into Loki's mind for information. Now he's just desperate.

Ok so I know I made a post talking about Mobius' jealousy in that interrogation scene but I also want to touch on when he comes back again after seeing the footage from C-20's interrogation scene bc man is so desperate here and I'm crying

(I'm sorry, I can't get gifs to work for me today so we just using images. But I got these from this post)

Mobius was so hurt last time we saw him, Loki being thrown back into the time cell with Lady Sif, hitting our dear agent with "out of all the liars in this place... you are the biggest... for the [lies] you tell yourself." Mobius has been pushing down all these doubts, hiding all his questions and curiosities of the TVA for a while. He's teased Ravonna, but could never really get anywhere. Then after speaking with Loki about Sylvie, about "you're all variants", Hunter B-15's suspicions, the oddness of C-20's "death" (M:"she was just fine before." R:"well, then she suddenly wasn't fine."). Mobius is finally allowing himself to realize things, to question truly what is going on. (R: "Is that what you wanted to hear?" M: "Yeah, if that's the truth." R: "You've been around Lokis too long.")

In this scene, when he comes back to the time cell for Loki, he's frustrated, he's angry, he's desperate. Everything is a lie. He can't pretend anymore. Loki has bonded with Sylvie (actually caring for another human being without the trauma of Thor: The Dark World and Thor: Ragnarok) ((I'm begging you, pls let him see a variant of Thor in this series and get to bond again, I miss them)). C-20 is likely pruned and gone forever with no answers. B-15 is getting anxious and unfocused. Ravonna is snapping at him and manipulating him with those long speeches (please, Mobius has heard enough from Loki's videos to know when he's being manipulated by fake sentimental words). He's tired, no longer patient enough for all the little quips-- he just need answers. For once in his "life" at the TVA, he just wants the truth. Something to safely hold to.

He's just put Loki through this timeloop of Lady Sif, of someone from home someone that could've been close to him under different circumstances, someone his brother cared about, kicking him/slapping him/ berating him with "you deserve to be alone, and you always will be." Loki's whole "Sacred Timeline Life" marks him to "always be alone", to finally get close to people before being torn away (whether in his own volition or by someone/something else). But with Loki caring for Sylvie, maybe even loving her, this changes everything for this Loki. He could finally care enough to save someone, to go out of his way in order to help others at his own cost. And Mobius knows this.

He asks again, desperate, pleading, hoping. Loki has to believe in himself, has to love himself enough to think to believe that he deserves a family, love, security from his greatest fear. He has to have changed because if not, then he'll either get pruned or wind up just like Mobius. Either way, gone from existence-- life erased, precious memories of "what if", "what once was", obliterated. He has to believe, or it'll happen again and again and again. To everyone, to the whole universe, unless something someone could do the impossible and shatter all reality.

With Wanda (specifically in WandaVision, final episode end credits), with her searching for her children and Vision, attempting the impossible and blending her realities in order to give them life because she needs them, she loves them. (M: "If you really care about [Sylvie]..."). This threat to the Sacred Timeline, pushing closer and closer to the MCU Multiverse, because they have to, because they want to.

(sorry again for bland picture, I love his expression in this gif but it wont load)

Mobius knows Loki is hurting-- from Lady Sif, from his past, from failing to protect Sylvie on his own, from Mobius not believing him and calling him "just a bad friend". He knows Loki could learn to believe, but he doesn't yet. Only Frigga ever told him she believed in him, he needs to hear it again. He needs to know he deserves love because he is loved. Mobius does, "believe, stupidly" (ep2) that Loki has this potential.

When I first saw this scene in the trailers, I was nervous it would be in the context of Mobius trying to get Loki on the TVA's side, "someone good". But here, this is so much better-- he knows the TVA is lying, is manipulating, is destroying lives. (L: "No one bad is every truly bad, and no one good is ever truly good" ep2 again lol). Loki knows he's not "truly good", that he's hurt people-- whether he planned to or not. But he can still be good. He can still choose to love, to care, to believe.

He can be what he's always wanted, what Frigga promised him, what he's always feared. He can be known, be loved, be safe-- Loki doesn't just fear being alone, he fears people choosing to leave him. That's why the memory of Lady Sif instead of Thor reaching for him on the Rainbow Bridge or Thanos threatening the Asgardian refugees or even Odin trying to explain why he "saved" Loki when he fought Loki's homeland. This memory was casual, simple, unnecessary. But it's always the smallest moments that truly impact us the most-- the slight changes.

When Mobius says this to Loki, he freezes-- he's confused, hesitant, scared. No one tells him this, why is someone telling him this, how can I believe this?

And then:

.And the little shrug Mobius gives here

It's so casual, so simple, so nonchalant. He just wants to reassure Loki that he still cares. He just spent a whole interrogation hounding on Loki for finding love with Sylvie, for changing with her (jealous boi be jealous), for lying to him and betraying him (M: "You don't do partners... unless ofc it benefits you and you intend to betray them at some point"). But now, now he's stopped lying to himself. He knows he cares, that Loki has a chance, that they have to burn this place down. Mobius wants stop this from ever happening again, from someone ever having to go through what Loki's gone through, being told they can never be loved because that's just how the Timeline goes. That a kid would be taken away from their family (probably because Sylvie presents feminine?? Idk, feel like MCU Odin wouldn't be so good with that). He has to reassure Loki, he wants to, because no one should ever feel that way again.

(and frick I really hate this, please look at the gifs from the linked post above, u gotta see his precious smile grow)

LOOK AT THIS SMILE, LOOK AT HIM HE'S HAPPY. And it was such a small, subtle apology from Mobius but it made all the difference bc he told Loki that he believes in him. And then they walk back out of the time cell, side-by-side, looking at each other. Content, safe, prepared to face the world together. He's no longer alone.

... And then ofc this happens...

*cue my heart shattering* (bless Hiddleston's acting).

The fact that you can even hear the hitch in Mobius' breath as he realizes this is the end of the line for him, that Ravonna knows and there's no going back--he's not making it out of this.

"One last desperate trick from the desperate trickster."

He talks about the jetski, about what his life might have been, he knows this hits Loki, being ripped from your timeline, losing all that potential. More importantly, it gives Loki a reason to fight. A silent, "Don't let this happen again. Don't let them get away with this. Please, remember me, don't let me disappear." But it doesn't work, because the one thing Mobius didn't account for, is that Loki cares about him. That now, the fight drains out of him. They pruned Mobius, ofc they'll get to Loki and Sylvie. They didn't even hesitate. Loki just lost, once again, the only other person who ever told him they believed in him. "You can be whoever, whatever..." "She told me I could do anything..."

Loki is less of a narcissist and more of a person desperate to fill that hole inside-- he's been neglected, cast aside, told he should want this and then never getting it. A "Glorious Purpose" to always hide in the shadows, to cause suffering, to give others a reason to unite against him. But for once, just once he hoped that he didn't have to do it alone-- that he could unite. And then they crushed those beautiful few seconds of hope like it was just another tedious, burdening purpose of the TVA.

(credits of images/gifs to the original posts linked, none were mine as I can't figure this out at all lol)

[lokigodofaces]

thoughts on loki ep 3: lamentis

under cut for your convenience

my first thought when i saw C-20 at the beginning was the Framework...i might be a bit too obsessed with an aos/Loki crossover...

C-20 was sorta able to find out something was wrong. from what Sylvie said, that's pretty impressive.

i wonder if Sylvie uses magic similar to Wanda's. like if Wanda just uses it on a bigger scale. the mind illusions thing checks out. and i saw on youtube that another patron looks like Evan Peters, so maybe they're connected? but most likely they just hired a dude that happens to look like Evan Peters.

going back to that, the glitch in C-20's illusion was like the glitches in WandaVision

if this really is similar to Wanda in canon, that means Sylvie and other Lokis might be nexus beings (y'know, the very thing i shout about in tags because i want)

Okay, so Sylvie tried to enchant a minuteman, which means she must have assumed the TVA operates on the same physics as the timeline. So neither Lokis thought magic could possibly be impeded.

good action sequence with Sylvie and minutemen and Sylvie and Loki

dudes...Renslayer can't fight. she literally did a horrible job.

Sylvie really thought the TVA valued Loki and that they really wanted/needed him to stop her. so she threatened to kill him, just for Renslayer to give the go ahead. shows how little the TVA cares and it echoes Odin.

Lamentis 1 sounded cool because that is a very sci-fi-ey name. It means the star the planet orbits is called Lamentis and the planet is the closest planet. That's how we name lots of planets outside the solar system. so i appreciated that.

okay, lamentis is literally just the bi flag. but still lots of purple so i will claim it as ace as well.

teleportation! and actual magic! yay!

okay, are they setting up a Loki/Sylvie romance? the way they framed the two when Sylvie tried to enchant Loki was how it's often done with kisses

Sylvie said with strong minds she has to do what she did to C-20 to enchant them, but she couldn't even do that with Loki. Which shows how powerful Loki is and how powerful the mind stone is.

i will die for more of Loki and Sylvie being chaotic together

Sylvie she said is an alias. Does this mean she is genderfluid but is female more often than male? i'm told some genderfluids are one gender more than the other, and i've considered Hiddleston's Loki to be predominantly male. Could Sylvie be the other way around? & born Loki but haven't changed her name? or have different names for different genders? and doesn't want to be called Loki when she's female because that's not her name as a woman?

literally i can't tell if they're setting up romance or sibling stuff.

i never thought i'd hear the word "savvy" from Loki. but, hey, if Jack Sparrow can say it, i'll allow it.

the effects for the gun that woman used look similar to Daisy Johnson's quakes. for a second i hoped for an aos crossover, but then i remembered that marvel hates it's non-Disney+ series.

i like the differences between Loki and Sylvie. Loki is less confrontational and more likely to mischief his way when Sylvie is more likely to rip the bandaid off and get it over with, if that makes sense. i think that Sylvie might just be so tired from living on the run, only going to apocalypses that she just wants to get it over with.

love is a serious theme throughout this episode. again, are they setting up a Loki/Sylvie romance? or will it be platonic or familial or something else?

Loki is very clearly not okay with the fact that so many people are being left to die, and i'm here for it

so the whole thing to get on the train i think is setting those two up to be a good duo. between illusions and enchantments, they can do a lot. and Loki was able to get them part of the way, and Sylvie the rest. i think it could be foreshadowing both of them needing to use their skills to work together.

never have your back to a door, i guess

Sylvie's reaction to Loki saying he wasn't told he was adopted. man, she was worried. she knows that that is messed up and i think she feels bad for Loki. she's probably imagining how her life would be different if she didn't know she was adopted.

sounds like Odin and Frigga weren't the adopters of Sylvie. Maybe the Lushtons? i don't know anything about them, just that Lushton is Sylvie's last name in the comics. so, yay for her for not having trash parents. unless they were, then sorry for Sylvie. at least they told her she was adopted. but if the Lushtons adopted her, how did they fall across a frost giant? especially the daughter of Laufey?

i've seen suggestions that the post man Sylvie is with could be Stan Lee since a couple cameos were of him as a post man. Maybe a younger post man, but he has less of a lifespan (if he is actually human in universe. i still like to think of him as the One Above All who just really likes to see the drama of things) than Sylvie, so she could be with him for a long time. maybe that's why Stan is always cameoing. he's just trying different things to try to find his love. and maybe he has a longer lifespan (he was in First Avenger) but not as long as Sylvie's so she still was there for most his life but he's dying soon. I actually like this headcanon a lot, i think it's sweet.

YAS BISEXUAL LOKI YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW HAPPY I AM! but i'm also scared my parents will find out. they're anti-queer. my siblings saw it, & they aren't supportive either but they operate on an "ignore it" policy, so they don't really care as long as it isn't a big deal.

also it is heavily hinted Sylvie is bi as well.

yes, i will continue to headcanon Loki as greyromantic and asexual. deal with it. i will change my language from panromantic to biromantic since the director specifically said he was bi.

also, it sounded like the director might be bi as well. good for her, taking a character she saw as bi and literally making it canon.

i knew Tom could sing, he was on Broadway. but i had never heard him sing i don't think. he has a good voice. petition to make a musical with Loki. watch the episode "Duet" of The Flash. i want something similar to that. can Sophia sing? throw her in too if she can!

translation of the norwegian suggests romance between Loki and Sylvie

was i expecting an "ANOTHER" reference? no. am i glad we got it? yeah, that was a nice touch.

turns out "full" means drunk in Norwegian according to a youtuber? but don't quote that. Loki says he's full, not drunk at one point.

what were they serving on that train? Thor couldn't get drunk on Earth. heck, Steve couldn't. so it must've been a heck of a drink they were serving

ok, the dagger metaphor i actually really liked. could be a shakespeare reference?

the fireworks thing with Frigga was cute

okay, i don't like Frigga much, but this has confirmed that Frigga was, maybe possibly, better than Odin. Frigga at least believed in Loki. but then her betrayal was so much worse.

wait, i just realized. Loki gets a fight scene on a train. a superhero genre staple is a fight on a moving vehicle (bonus if it's a train). yay! Loki hasn't had this trope yet in any of his appearances. off screen before Infinity War, and i don't count his attempt to murder Thanos on the Statesman. but we can add that to his list of superhero tropes.

i feel like the TVA needs to make stronger tempads...

okay, Loki threw the dagger horribly because he was drunk, right?they aren't saying he has horrible aim, are they?

falling out of a moving vehicle is also a superhero trope...at least it went better for them than it did Bucky

i relate to Sylvie screaming in the middle of nowhere

Loki being gentle with Sylvie and letting her talk to him. gosh. i love it. was not expecting to see Loki from my fics make an appearance.

Sylvie explained the enchantment to Loki, which i think was a poor decision for her.

she said C-20's mind was hard to navigate to her original memories. maybe the TVA does something to the TVA agents that join them. maybe if Loki proved useful, they'd do it to Loki.

or maybe variants lose memory over time. Sylvie says something about her memory being like blips of a dream, but I don't remember the context. maybe over time variants lose their memories and only retain a few things. Sylvie is well down that process, Loki has had hardly any change, and those working for the TVA only have a few things to remind them.

Mobius absolutely was a jet ski enthusiast in the '90's when he was arrested, and he loved Josta.

Casey liked Boku juice, a sign he was from the '90's.

whoever makes the uniforms is from whatever period that style of suit was popular ('80's?).

if anyone isn't a variant, it's Renslayer. she knows more than she should, i'm sure of it.

C-20 likes margaritas now, i'm sure of it.

Mobius has an interesting relationship with Renslayer. I wasn't sure if it was romantic or what. Maybe Renslayer looks like his lover from the '90's so he is flirty with her because of the faint memories he has.

Loki immediately catches on to the TVA agents not knowing they're variants. they think the Time Keepers created them. he knows that, Sylvie didn't. this immediately tells Loki that the Time Keepers are messed up.

possible redemptions for Mobius? B-15? C-20? when they find out they're variants?

so does C-20 know now? she kept saying "it was real" when Mobius found her in Roxxcart. maybe she had dreams of her life before, and Sylvie showed her that they were real?

the whole scene in the city was wild. so much color, lights, people, action, it was wild

Loki being protective of Sylvie, helping her up and wrapping his arm around her, i'm here for it.

loved the bit where Loki used telekinesis to stop the tower from falling on them.

there was a bit where Loki and Sylvie fought & their moves mirrored each other and gosh that was a nice touch.

Loki's reaction to the Ark's destruction. standing there in defeat while Sylvie walks away. wow. Tom. you are amazing.

and what the heck why did the episode end there?

can't wait for the next episode

more of TVA being evil being shown, loving it.

really, is Loki/Sylvie a thing? i have a hard time seeing romance some times, so let me know.

can we please get a Kang tease?

great lighting & cinematography. beautiful. lovely. also good action. shout out to the stunt doubles since they don't get enough credit.

okay let Loki & Sylvie be friends (or lovers, i'm fine with that) and let them burn the TVA down together.

aaaaaaaaaaa how are we half way through?

also, have the TVA fixed all the messed up timelines yet?

oh wait i gotta talk about this. the minutemen don't remember their names. i doubt Mobius's name was Mobius Mobius Mobius. Casey is probably not his real name. The Clone Wars fan in me was already screaming, but now it is even more.

[wintersoldeer]

ok here's some totally incoherent thoughts about endgame that i just have to write down or i might explode spoilers: i loved it also actual spoilers spoilers very spoilery spoilers

1. Steve and the goddddamn mjölnir!!!!! FINALLY!!!!!! when thor, iron man and cap were like 'aw yeahhh we're gonna fight thanos' i was like what the heckie is steve even doing there, supersoldier or not he's just a human. then thor drops his hammer and i’m like oh my gods please literally crossing my fingers. then thor’s fight is not going so well and oh no he definitely needs someone to save him! i’m like ohhhhhmygooddss. and THEN IT FINALLY HAPPENS I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS FOR YEARS HELL YEAHHHHH

2. steve & peggy dance. yes. just yes. fucking finally. i love it. it was perfect i cried

3. clint should’ve died. (finally haha) he was my fave since before the avengers and i was so sure he was going to die back then, but then he didn’t and look what’s became of him since.......... i had a violent flashback to watching age of ultron for the first time and for the first time just hoping that my fave character (that would be clint) would just die, bc they’re screwing his character over so badly........ and most definitely it. should.  not. have. been. natasha. who. died.  that was such a bullshit i mean WHAT THE FUCK????  i mean maybe clint and natasha were the only remaining avengers that actually loved each other (?¿¿????¿¿¿?¿ tho that’s just flimsy, i’m just trying to....idek) and that’s why it had to be them on that stupid fuckin death cliff, but why did natasha have to die?? just because clint had a family (still with no actual characterization, not that i even care, or maybe i would if the movies had given me any reason to...) to return to and she didn’t??that fucking sucks and what sucks even more is that not only was natasha the only character that died (i’m not even counting tony, bc that was very Different) but she’s the only original female avenger AND it’s the same stupd fucking rock that the only original female gotg gamora died in such a bullshit way just last movie??? goddddd i hated that so much like maybe if she hadn’t been the first one to die and all the original avengers would’ve died as was i kinda hoping (tho i love happy endings so i didn’t actually hope that it would happen..), maybe then i would be okay with her being dead. now i am very much not okay, and that means very much not okay in a angry way, not in a sad way

4. speaking of death: to me tony’s was perfect. i might not be the biggest fan of how he always got the most screentime and a bigger role than other characters, but i can’t deny that he definitely is the heart of the whole mcu and it had to be him who saves the day in the end and what else could it have been that a very tony-like self-sacrifice..... god i cried. i loved that he got a funeral (even tho natasha didn’t...) and i loved his funeral with all the people and fricking harley and then the kid saying how much she likes cheeseburgers and the frickin ‘proof that tony stark has a heart’ and sfghkklkghhhh

5. i gasped audibly when i noticed that natasha was wearing the arrow necklace

6. i kinda forgot that vision ever even existed..... in the end i first thought that wanda was talking about pietro and then i was like ok well maybe not maybe she’s talking about tony or something WHICH MAKES NO SENSE LOL i don’t even remember what she actually said, but as was pointed out to me, she was probably talking about vision. who was a thing that existed... whoops

7. ugh i hate brucenat, i really thought we were over that shit already. i also very much disliked that they actually decided to go with professor hulk, but idk w/e i don’t care that much. but natasha’s death sucked tho and the one thing i do not want to see is bruce’s pain or whatever when the movie didn’t even give me the time or reason to actually grieve for her goddd that whole thing was such a bullshit

8. i did not like that thor was treated as a joke most of his screentime........

9. that stevepeggy dance tho. love it. it’ll probably take me at least another seven years to get over it

10. i fricking adored the whole going back in time thing, especially the 2012. the callbacks and the humor really worked for me, the elevator scene straight from cap2 but reversed and hail hydra and steve fighting steve and loki’s expressions when things go wrong and goddhhh i loved it all aaaaaaa, that was the moment when i was like ok i need to see this movie again immediately.... also the fact that their time travel rules were that they were just creating new paths or w/e i guess, and not actually changing what happened to them specifically... good. so many aus

11. that final battle was so perfectly epic

12. tho shouldn’t valkyrie’s (who really just doesn’t have a real name, now does she..) horse have died after being shot haha

13. i loved that clint had the gauntlet for so long, like he’s definitely the Least Qualified Person to keep it safe, why would that be his job, it was amazing

14. i hated natasha’s death with burning passion, but i loved how she and clint fought each other over who gets to throw themselves off that cliff. tho i really hoped that their ‘yeahh we know what we have to do’ would’ve rather meant that they decided to just throw red skull down bc who even knows if it even actually needs love sacrifice or w/e, a soul is a soul is a soul

15. i loved the human jarvis whatever-his-first-name-was cameo and i really need to finally watch/rewatch agent carter

16. i really liked the tony howard scene even if i thought it felt a bit iffy, bc i feel like there’s so much more to unpack w/ those daddy issues.... but maybe that scene means that there is that one universe where howard was actually a good dad. i want to believe that. yeah. (maybe not but let me dream)

17. i like how they totally forgot that sharon carter ever even existed

18. damn that moment when black panther comes through that portal

19. damn that moment when gi ant-man is giant

20. damn that final battle was so epic

21. damn that steve with mjölnir

22. this movie was SO GOOD when it was good and so mehhh when it was bad, and i’m really glad that it was just good enough that i can forgive overlook all of its flaws. (tho i will not forgive what they did to natasha, even if i can mostly ignore it when thinking about how good most of the rest of the movie was) but idk if it would’ve been perfect, maybe i wouldn’t have survived like there’s this One Huge Thing (natasha) that really brings down the movie that otherwise would’ve been just Amazing

23. i don’t know if my heart has ever beaten as fast as when steve finally picks up the hammer. never while watching a movie, at least

24. i love that carol has her short haircut, bc it bothered me so much in cpn marvel that she should not have been able to see anything when her hair was just constantly on her face haha

25. i feel nothing but seething resentment towards clint’s stupid family and that stupid family man role he is stuck with

26. why was natasha’s hair so weird and ugly. why can’t it just be red??

27. clint’s hair was weird and ugly too and i think i have finally kinda given up on mcu!clint (tho he has those small Very Good moments and i cry for what could’ve been.....we could’ve have it aaaaaalllll.... i think i’m going to watch swat (2003) again and still pretend it’s the clint backstory movie i deserve haha, it’s been ages since i’ve seen it idk if it would still work for me, i’m gonna try)

28. i love nebula tho

29. i loved the trip down memory lane! frigga!!!! the way the continuation of the avengers capturing loki just felt so natural and like it probably happened just like that! nebula and rhodey judging quill’s singing and dancing haha yes! everything! just as i was hoping it would be!

30. doesn’t really have anything to do with this movie but: i still firmly believe that coulson never died. i still firmly believe that pietro never died. 

31. falcon cap helll yeah!!

32. i guess i’ll never get my strike team delta movie with clintasha best friends soulmates and with buckynat and the red room.........  goddd there really should’ve been a black widow movie after cap2. like that was The Perfect Spot for a black widow movie, it’s really a crime that there isn’t one, and even if they make a black widow movie now, it’ll definitely be too little too late.

33. like..... a for effort..... for that female heroes girl power.... ughhhh.... scene, i guess, but that. does. not. cut. it. when you have just killed natasha

34. things i really wished they would say in some perfect moments: “hail hydra” “avengers assemble!” “i am iron man”. things they did say in those moments: “hail hydra” “avengers assemble” “i am iron man”, gogssgddd that was perfect (ok i also really did wish steve would’ve said the “i could do this all day” in the fight but couldn’t say bc the movie had just made fun of that.. i’m kinda sad but haha it’s not that big of a deal, maybe if he hadnt said it in civil war which i dont like but well...)

35. haha people are already complaining about the steve going back thing and how it’s definitely not moving on and erasing character development or whatever and HA. i finally got my stevepeggy dance i don’t care about anything else i am so happy!!!!!

36. i am so glad i managed to avoid any spoilers bc i hear that there was some pretty massive ones going around??¿?¿?

37. also: ok from here on out i am not here for any of you negative nancys complaining (probably very reasonable complaints idec) about the movie, god i really wish it was 2012 again

38. in final thoughts: i absolutely loved it and i love that it turns out that i’m apparently still very much marvel trash........ if natasha hadn’t died, especially in such a bullshit way, i would’ve been able to overlook everything else that was kinda meh about the movie and just purely and blindly loved it. i still did love it, a lot, but now there’s that bitter aftertaste.....

ok now, maybe that’s enough rambling and repeating myself....... i’m going to need to see it again asap

//EDIT

39. I FORGOT TO MENTION IT BC I FORGOT ABOUT IT but goooooooooodddd i loved nebula and tony playing that game in the beginning and tony letting nebula win ääääää

[your-modern-shakespeare]

I’ve Waited My Whole Life (4)

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3

Request: “Could you do a Bucky soulmate story? Like the au with the countdown to the moment you meet your soulmate, but Bucky doesn’t have it because his arm is gone so the reader freaks out a little bit. But it’s all ok in the end. Like super fluffy fluff… maybe leads to smut, whatever you’re feeling.”

Pairing: Bucky x Reader (Eventual)

Word Count: 3820

A/N: So I am posting this…finally! I am about 30 minutes away from my surgery so I will be out for a while. Thank you guys for being patient and for anyone who’s is still with me I hope you enjoy!

Y/C/N- Your City Name, Y/S or C/N- Your State or Country Name

Warnings: mentions of violence, sad!Bucky, cliffhanger (I promise that its not as bad as before)

Tags: @seargantbcky, @lust-for-pan, @38leticia, @barnes-and-noble-girl, @karipaleta, @capandbuck, @camillechan, @findacauseandserveit, @audasia25, @kendallefire, @alicerozenju, @snuggleducky, @thisisthelilith , @boyzines, @ballerinafairyprincess, @axelinchen, @sarahfhealy, @blazeshira, @the-strandedgypsy, @luckylundy13, @fandomtainment, @sebstanwassup

BUCKY’S POV

“Steve, we have to find her.”

“We will, but we need to figure out who has her first.”

“It’s obviously HYDRA.”

“No, it’s not. Y/N was in the army, she’s bound to have made enemies. We’ve called Agent Hill and she’s going to bring in Y/N’s file.”

“Don’t we have a copy of her file?”

“We have the redacted version.”

“What was so bad that they would have to redact her file?”

“You’re guess is as good as mine.”

But as we waited for Agent Hill to show up, I started going through all of the files that we had on HYDRA: any possible locations, known associates, anything that could possibly tell me why they would take Y/N.

Of course, my first thought would always be that they took her because of me. Maybe they took her because we were getting closer or at least I thought we had been…

“Then why don’t you?” I heard her ask me. At first I thought I had imagined it, so it took me a minute to react to her. I looked her in the eyes, looking for any sign that she actually didn’t want this and when I didn’t find anything but hope in her eyes, I  stepped forward, grabbed her face in my hands and moved to kiss her.

But before my lips could reach hers we were interrupted by Steve and Sam walking down the hallway.

She pulled away from me and we both took in a deep breath.

“I’m sorry for yelling at you.” She whispered before she turned and walked away.

I watched her as she walked away from me and it took me a second to realize what I was about to do. I liked Y/N, but I wasn’t sure if I wanted to screw around with what we had.

“So what was that about?” Sam asked, sounding exactly like he was mocking me.

“You guys are seriously the worst.”

I stormed off towards the elevator and tried to push the button for my floor, hoping it would close before Steve caught up to me. But I was wrong.

He walked into the elevator and stood right next to me as the doors closed.

“So…” Steve started.

“I really don’t want to talk about it.”

“I can tell that you really like her.”

“It doesn’t matter if I like her.”

“Why not?”

“Because I’ll never know for sure.” I looked down at my arm and back up at the door. “She doesn’t deserve that.”

“Bucky, there had to be a reason that the numbers never counted down…maybe they didn’t because she hadn’t been born yet.”

“Don’t you think that I thought of that? I’m saying that there’s no way to know, not with this anyway.” I lifted my metal arm so that he could see what I was talking about. The doors opened on our floor and I walked out first, not in the least expecting him to stay in the elevator.

“But you have the numbers and you know the day you met and I’m sure we could even figure out a specific time from the cameras.” He said, catching up to me.

“Steve—”

“And we can look up when she was born from her file.”

“I don’t want to know.”

“You don’t want to know?”

“No. I’ve thought of looking before, I wanted to connect the dots…”

“But?”

“But if she isn’t…my soulmate…I think it would be worse than thinking that she could be. I like Y/N and she seems to like me too, even if she doesn’t like me like that. I just like being around her and now she’s talking to me again, so I don’t want you stepping in and looking into this.”

“What if I said that Y/N was asking about you.”

“Asking what?”

“About you.” I glared at him. “Just simple things, like what you used to be like and what kind of things you liked.”

“She really asked that about me?”

“Yes.”

“Well you’re still not going to change my mind. The only thing I care about is getting to stay close to her, I enjoy her company and I don’t want to do anything to jeopardize that.”

“Like kissing her?”

“That was heat of the moment and not that I didn’t want to, but it could have confused things. She means too much to me, so we’re going to keep things the way they are…right?”

“Whatever you say.”

“Thank you.”

The next time I saw Y/N we didn’t speak of the kiss…the almost kiss. So instead we completely ignored any feelings and spent the next couple of months becoming close friends.

We never argued again, at least not like we did. We fought over things, but more like where to go out for lunch or who was the better driver. And getting over our deepest secrets seemed to have made us more comfortable around each other because we told each other everything. Neither of us held anything back.

That being said, it was very easy for me to fall in love with her. I know that I had told Steve that I just wanted to remain friends with her, but every time I spoke to her or saw her smile or made her laugh, it was like my heart grew a little more for her, like it was trying to make more room to love her more. And it was driving me absolutely insane.

I just wanted to touch her, to hold her, do anything but sit there and wish that I could. But I would never tell anyone this, especially Steve. And unfortunately not Y/N either.

I sat and stared at the screen, I had pulled up my file…seeing if maybe there was someone to cross both of our paths. But the longer that I stared at the pictures of what I had done, the longer I spent convincing myself that this was my fault, that I didn’t deserve someone as good as Y/N.

“Don’t do that to yourself.” I heard Steve say from behind me.

“Do what?”

“Blame yourself.”

“I don’t care what’s in her file, I know that this was HYDRA and I know that I’m involved somehow.”

“If you are then you know that, if I let you go to rescue her, it could be a trap.”

“If you let me?”

“I have to consider things, like the fact that I know you would give yourself back to them if it meant getting Y/N back.”

“No I would just kill them all.”

“Bucky, if that’s what you plan to do than I really can't—”

“Steve, I wasn’t serious.”

“Well don’t say things like that then.”

“I am very serious, though, about getting Y/N back, so I would advise that you don’t pull me off of this.”

“Bucky—”

“Don’t Steve.”

“Fine. I just came to tell you that Agent Hill should be here now.”

“Great, let’s find her.”

I followed Steve into the conference room where the whole team now sat, Agent Hill at the head.

“Let’s get started.” She said, handing out copies of Y/N’s unredacted file.

“Sergeant First Class Y/F/N Y/L/N. Born in Y/C/N, Y/S or C/N on September 21, 1989. She enlisted when she turned 18 and has been in the army until about 3 years ago, when she was honorably discharged. When she got back to the states, she had a few jobs, but none of them stuck and she never had a permanent address after she returned. A year later she reenlisted and was immediately deployed overseas. Now, the event to lead to her final discharge and quite possibly the reason she was taken. Her last mission, was an eight month stay in Vietnam. Now, I was able to get most of her file cleared up but this mission is top secret, it was even need to know to Y/N’s unit which is why she got all those cool moves, because they had so much free time waiting for orders.” We all smiled a bit thinking about how awesome Y/N’s moves were. “So unfortunately I don’t have all of the details, but I do know what happened. Y/N and her unit were ordered to storm a warehouse that was believed to have connections to a terrorist’s cell. But when they got inside it turned out to be a group of HYDRA agents. Unfortunately they shot and killed any of the soldiers who resisted, then relocated the remaining soldiers and tortured them. We had been notified of the kidnappings and the belief that HYDRA had been involved so we sent in Tony, Wanda, and Clint to aid in the rescue of her unit. When they got there Y/N was the only survivor and barely at that.” Flipping through the files there were tons of pictures of what she had looked like after she had been rescued. I tried my hardest to be objective, to work this mission like every other one but seeing her like that, barely breathing and beaten so bad to cause them to put her in a medically induced coma, it just broke my heart.

“So what? HYDRA’s mad that one soldier was rescued despite the fact that they brought down an entire military elite squad? No they don’t think like that, they do things by the big picture. Y/N was one soldier.” I said, clearly upset.

“I wasn’t finished. We all know Y/N, she’s a fighter. That being said, they planned on killing her with everyone else. But she found a way out, was making a run for it and she killed a HYDRA agent in the process. They got to her before she could completely escape and they kept her alive so that they could avenge the guy she killed.”

“But we can’t assume that HYDRA just randomly found out where she was and decided to take her now.” Steve commented.

“Yes we can. She killed one of them, they don’t leave any loose ends.” I confirmed.

“Then we also have to assume that this was a way for them to get you back. You’re a loose end too.”

“Did Y/N have any other enemies, beside HYDRA?” Tony asked, stopping the banter between us.

“No. She was one of the best soldiers, she was highly decorated and she was respectable to everyone.”

“Y/N can have a short temper, maybe she upset someone.” I wanted to believe that this wasn’t HYDRA despite every alarm in my head telling me that it was.

“You know, she’s only like that with people she likes.” She smiled at me and everyone else kind of snickered.

“This isn’t about me. We need to focus on finding Y/N. If she’s with HYDRA and they did all of this to her the first time, then it’s bound to be worse this time.”

“Well they may keep her alive if they want you to come for her.”

“Let’s hope so.”

I grabbed my file and left the conference room, not wanting to talk about HYDRA anymore. But what I had missed was Agent Hill telling the team that she knew a few new possible locations in the states. It wasn’t the surest process for locating a missing Agent but we figured that if they were trying to draw me out, they wouldn’t be hiding very hard which meant they were probably close. It was a hunch, but it was better than sitting around.

So we all climbed into the jet and headed to the closest location on the list. WE didn’t have much of a plan other than get in and get out as fast as possible. I don’t think that anyone had been in the mood to wait any longer, not with HYDRA’s reputation.

I sat in the back of the jet, furthest away from everyone, trying to keep my mind off of those pictures, off the way they had found her before. I think that everyone could feel how nervous I was because as long as we spent in that jet, no one came up to me not even Steve.

We landed right outside of what looked like an abandoned building, but knowing too much about HYDRA, I knew that once we got inside we would find a sophisticated operation. So we split up into teams and took separate sections of the building, promising to notify the other teams if we had found anything. So Steve and I walked around the building, making sure to check all of the rooms, even if they were locked and avoiding all HYDRA personnel or taking out any we couldn’t.

“Hey Steve, I think we’ve got something.” We heard Nat say over her com and we rushed off to where Nat and Wanda were assigned.

As we got closer to their area we could see exactly where the “sophistication” stopped and the old abandoned building continued. The rooms down here looked a lot like operation rooms, which was strange since this building looked nothing like a hospital. Nat and Wanda had taken out the few Agents who had been guarding the area, which gave us free reign to check all of the rooms knowing full well that this type of space would be exactly where the would keep prisoners. So we checked all of the rooms until I came across the only one that had been occupied.

Then the whole world seemed to slow down…

I stood in the doorway, obviously seeing her strapped to the chair.

I tried to unsee the things that they had done to her. I closed my eyes, hoping to get the image out of my head, but when I opened them again, she was still there, looking just as beaten as before. The room was empty, she was alone.

I tried to say something, I tried to open my mouth to let the others know, but it was like my lungs didn’t work anymore, it was like I had forgotten how to breath. It felt like forever, but air filled my lungs once again and where function lacked, pain and fear took over.

I tried moving towards her but it felt as if my femur no longer fit in the Acetabulum, my humerus no long rolled in the glenoid cavity, like I was just a torso, with no way to move. It was like I had ghost limbs, a feeling that I had come too familiar with what seemed like a million years ago.

I tried to think of someway to help her, you would think that after seventy plus years of elite training, I would know what to do. But my brain was stuck in an endless loop of what ifs and pictures of what had happened before.

I tried to feel�� but my heart stopped.

I tried to hear something coming from her, a breath, a sign of life. But the only thing I heard was someone calling after me or someone trying to get my attention.

And in that moment, I snapped back to reality, where everything was a lot faster and wasn’t in second by second snapshots.

“Bucky!” I heard Steve yell from where he stood next to Nat and Wanda.

I looked at them and when I saw the concern on their faces it was as if everything that had just happened to me vanished and the only thing that mattered was getting Y/N to safety.

I walked over to the chair and took in a deep breath pushing down all of the reservations and terrible thoughts flying through my head.

“Y/N?” No response. I looked at her…really looked at her. Most of the skin that I could see was badly bruised and they must have been looking for some information because she had a few broken fingers.  Honestly I had expected worse, which made me suspicious…

Steve and Nat started to remove her restraints and I moved to pick her up, putting my metal arm under her neck and my flesh hand under her knees.

“No, no, no!” I tired to pick her up, but she fought against me. So instead of picking her up, I just pulled her into my arms and keeping her as close to me as I could without hurting her.

“Y/N, hey it’s me.” I said right into her ear, where she would hear me. “I’m here to take you home. You’re safe now.”

“Bucky?” She whispered. I don’t think she was able to see me but she could hear me.

“You’re safe now.” I went to pick her up again but this time she let me and then we walked out of the room and towards the front of the building where we would get back on the jet. We tried our hardest to avoid people, go through the places that the team had already cleared that way we knew that no people of importance had been notified of an attack or rescue.

Y/N buzzed in and out of consciousness and yet she was trying her hardest to tell me something.

“Stop.” I stopped walking and looked at her, giving her a minute to respond. The team stopped as soon as they saw I had. “Bucky…wait it’s a trap.”

“I know.” I said, finally coming to terms with what was most likely going to happen when we tried to step out the front doors.

“Then why’d you come?”

“I couldn’t leave my girl behind.”

The thing about this mission that had me thrown off was the fact that there was no other prisoners in the building except for Y/N. If this had been an actual HYDRA facility the place would have been crawling with Agents and they would have been doing terrible experiments to people and we would have had a lot harder time getting in.

I know that they must have had a plan, they wouldn’t have just let her go unless they had a plan and not knowing that plan made me all the more nervous.

I decided to push away those thought for now and just worked on getting Y/N back to the jet.

As we got closer to the jet, more and more Agents made their way to us and it started becoming harder to fight off the advances. At least with just the four of us.

Tony, Clint, Sam and Vision found there way into our fight which gave me the perfect opportunity to make a break for the jet.

I got to the jet and saw Agent Hill standing at the entrance waiting for me to bring in Y/N. I climbed up the ramp and laid Y/N down on the bench and she started to look at Y/N to see if there was anything that couldn’t wait to be addressed.

But as we sat there trying to help Y/N we both had been completely oblivious to the man that was behind this all climbing onto the jet.

“I knew you would come for her.” I quickly turned to face the man who had a gun pointed at us, using my body to shield both Agent Hill and Y/N.

“What do you want?”

“You.”

I looked at the man’s face as closely as I could. I felt like I had met him before, it wasn’t a long shot that I had, but he was dressed as a scientist and god knows there were plenty of those operating on me at any given point.

“I did all of this to draw you here, I saw you in New York…with her. I had to get you here, to my lab.”

“Are you part of HYDRA?” I asked, not completely convinced now that this guy was actually one of them. As much as I wanted to believe the guards were, they were a little too easy to take down, where HYDRA would have had them trained better.

“They never believed me when I told them that I could draw out the Winter Soldier. But I was going to find you, even if it was the last thing I ever did.” I took a good look at the man as he talked about something that I stopped listening to, I think it was something about HYDRA but I noticed what may have caused Y/N kidnapping.

“You’re an amputee.” I said, interrupting him. I saw the signs of a limp as he moved around, pacing out of nervousness.

“Yes. I want to replicate the science of that arm. I broke into Stark Industries, I tried to take the one that you didn’t need anymore, but I failed. So I reached out to a member of HYDRA, knowing that they would have the file I needed. Of course they thought I was crazy saying that the only person who could replicate the mechanics of that arm was dead.”

“But you weren’t convinced and you made a plan to draw me out.”

“And you’re here.”

Ignoring the gun that he had pointed at what just seemed like me, I stalked him and wrapped my metal hand around his throat, suspending him in the air.

“You took an innocent women, beat and tortured her, because you wanted the technology behind an arm that has killed hundreds of people? You have played around with HYDRA and you have messed with my friends—”

“Bucky…put him down.” I heard Steve say. I looked over at him as the rest of the team stood behind him. I dropped the man and moved his gun far enough away from him so that he couldn’t hurt anyone. And then I let the rest of the team take over so that I could go back over to Y/N.

Agent Hill put the scientist in handcuffs and was planning on taking him somewhere once we got back to New York. The team every so often would come to check on Y/N but nothing had changed since we had gotten her on the jet.

It didn’t take us long to get back to the facility and where we landing, it looked like there was a small group of medical help waiting for us so they could help Y/N. But as we got the doors open and we’re planning on moving her, Y/N grabbed my hand and started to whisper something. I moved closer to her so she didn’t have to work so hard to tell me what she needed to say.

“27:08:23:14:36.” She said with no problem at all.

But the only thing I could think of as they came into the jet, placed her on the stretcher and rolled her off to the medical ward, was how did she know my numbers?

PART FIVE  

Tell Me What You Think 

[221bshrlocked]

Let Me Touch Your Fire (3)

Pairing: Bucky X Reader

Words: 1259

Warnings: Aaaaaaaangst. Like horrible life sort of backstory.

Summary: You’re a mutant who was experimented on by Stryker. He changed your mutation so instead of feeling others�� emotions and transferring emotions to them, you can now only transfer emotions and you feel nothing.

A/N: I have a final tomorrow what the fuck am I doing? Let me know if you want to be tagged. Also, Pietro is alive here.

Tagging: @imagine-that-100 @sexysamsungl @cassichaiser @sugakookiesandmochi

Permanent Tag List: @meganlane84 @mizzzpink @bringmetheemobands @kimistry27 @fireandicewillsuffice @vacam79 @amrita31199 @badassbaker @feelmyroarrrr @aekr @sexy-sea-basss @isaxhorror @actual-bucky-barnes-trash

<-- Previous Part Next Part --> 

No one came to you for hours. Assuming they were probably going to ask you to leave, you looked around the room to see what you would pack. There wasn’t much anyway. What do you even do now? Should you call Charles and tell him you’re leaving? But if you did that, then he might ask you to come back and then it’s back to square one.

Hearing a knock on your day, you opened it and were surprised when you found Wanda.

“Hi.” You didn’t know what to say.

“Hey I just came by to talk. I mean if you want to talk. You don’t have to talk I just thought you might like the company. I’m blabbering aren’t I?”

“Sort of. But that’s ok.” You faked a smile and ushered her to come in.

“So what did you want to talk about?” You sat on the bed facing her.

“I don’t know. Just anything.”

“Wanda you’ll have to be more specific. I can’t tell when things are smooth or awkward around people.”

“Sorry ya I know what was I thinking?” She shook her head.

“Would you like to ask me questions?” You raised your eyebrows.

“No that would be rude of me.” She held out her hands and was refusing. But you could tell she was curious.

“Remember...I feel nothing. I can’t tell if people are rude or not. I don’t get offended.”

It was quiet for a while until she cleared her throat.

“What’s it like?”

“Umm...empty. Just empty. I can’t sense anything and I can’t tell what people feel unless I make them do so.”

“Did anyone try to help you?”

“Ya...plenty of people tried. Even Charles. He thought it was just the mutation and he could “fix” me but it was obvious that they stripped me of everything. Then there were others…” You trailed off.

“Who?”

“When I arrived at the school, I talked to no one. It was hard to trust anyone after what happened. It took a while to understand that I was surrounded by decent people. But it sort of switched eventually and I couldn’t tell until I had a friend point it out. People thought I was faking it to be pitied or be the center of attention. I never understood why. So I was called names by girls and became this trophy for guys. I found out later that there was a bet going on on who could make me “feel” again. Like it was my choice...like I was some person trapped in a cell and was waiting for my rescuer.”

“What happened?”

“I was called a heartless bitch all the time. I was still young. So I became the heartless bitch they thought I was. Looking back now, it was my fault why I left the school. I’m sure Fury told you that I am here not just to help you out but because I was causing problems there.”

“I played around with them. Made them almost think that they were the winners...made them fall hopelessly in love with me..then I broke their hearts. And for a while, I truly believed that this could happen. Someone can make me feel again. But after a while, it sort of became a game.And then I thought I could have fun with this. I couldn’t believe how people can just bet on others. So I broke their hearts. Maybe being known as the heartbreaker would make me feel proud or happy and then I would truly be myself again. But it never happened. After a while I realized what I was doing had a horrible affect on everyone. So I kept to myself. But by that time, there was no fixing those mistakes. So Charles told me it was best to leave.”

You didn’t realize that Wanda was crying now and you looked at her quizzically.

“Y/N that’s so sad.”

“Is it? Uhh sorry I didn’t mean to-I think you should leave Wanda. I don’t want to repeat the same mistake. Please don’t tell anyone what I just told you. I’m sorry.”

But you weren’t. Because you couldn’t be. Because you couldn’t feel guilt. And that’s what made Bucky feel even worse. He was standing out in the hallway, listening to everything and he felt bad because he called you heartless. Because a part of him slowly started to like you and he couldn’t control it.

Wanda walked outside and you followed her to shut the door. You saw Bucky walking by and just stared at him. He refused to look up.

Minutes later, Pietro barged into your room, yelling at the top of his lungs with Wanda trying to stop him.

“WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING HUH? You THInk you Could make people cRY because You Don’t feel AnytHINg?”

“Hey hey what is goin-”

“She made Wanda cry and hasn’t stopped since she came to talk to her. She was trying to help and here you are making her regret it?” Pietro was about to jump on you when Natasha and Clint tried to calm him down.

You stayed quiet, knowing that whatever you said, they probably won’t believe you. You just looked at Wanda.

You thought it best to apologize so you could avoid any more problems.

“I am sorry Wanda. I did not mean to hurt you.”

“No no that won’t do. APOLOGIZE LIKE YOU MEAN IT!”

“She can’t you idiot because she feels nothing. She clearly didn’t understand what made Wanda cry so she can’t fucking apologize.” Bucky couldn’t contain himself.

Pang. 

Pietro stepped back and just walked out, Wanda shaking her head and apologizing to you before walking out to him.

“What happened?” Clint asked you.

You ignored his question and looked at Steve. “This. This is what happens when I am around. If you won’t make a decision by the end of the day, I’m leaving.” You turned to Steve and addressed him.

Bucky looked at you and when you made eye contact, you almost thought he felt bad for you.

Everyone walked out but it was just you and Bucky left.

“Can I help you?” Your face was as stoic as ever.

“Why didn’t you say anything? Why didn’t you defend yourself?”

“Oh you heard now did you. Isn’t it rude to eavesdrop on people Sergeant?” You addressed him mockingly, angering him further.

“You think they would have believed me? Come on I can make anyone feel anything. They wouldn’t trust me.”

“Y/N-”

“And how do you know I am not making you feel bad for me right now huh? How do you know I’m not making you feel attracted to me?” It was just a guess but you smirked at him once you realized you were right.

Bucky looked at you, not believing what he was hearing right now. What if you were actually doing that? He approached you and grabbed your shirt, almost holding you up.

“Looks like I hit a nerve huh. Relax I’m not interested.”

He aggressively let you go and frowned, slamming the door behind him. You fell on the bed, sighing at how suddenly things were escalating.

What was happening to you? Whenever he was around, things just didn’t seem right.

No. It can’t be. That’s not possible. You’d end up just hurting someone else again. You were done with trying to find a solution to this little problem.

It was best to push them away from you. It was best to push him away from you.

[buckyswinterchildren]

The Only Exception - Part 9

Masterlist

Bucky Barnes x reader

Summary: you don’t believe in romantic love, you find it pathetic. But maybe, you make an exception when you meet James ‘Bucky’ Barnes.

A/N: this is way longer than the other chapters, but it is a decisive moment for the reader, and for Bucky. I hope you enjoy it!

Tags: @supersoldierslover @barnesandnoble13 @vivianbabz @petals-overdaisies @damnbuckyishot @brazien @siobhanrebecca @shamvictoria11 @independentgirl @elwenia @flaipa

(Credits to the owner of the gif)

A week after your arrival in Chicago, you are on the plain on your way back to New York. Duties are calling you so, it is time to go back to your place.

You had a great time with your family, or part of it, at Chicago. Sharon spent most of her days at work so, you were just with Steve at home. Of course you visited your mother and she also went to Steve’s to spend time with her “children.” Yes, we all know how mothers are: their sons may be adults, by they will be her children forever.

The words that were said at the hospital died there. Steve did not mention the topic of love in all the week, thankfully for you.

Spending time with your mother, with your brother Steve and sometimes with Sharon, you realized how much you missed them and actually being with them. But it is time to go back to your place, to the place you love, to the place where your life is.

Just three hours after you got off from the plane, you already have work. Since your band have shows in a few more weeks, you have to rehearse. Besides, you have a couple of interviews with TV and radio programmes.

“I cannot fucking believe we all agreed on the playlist,” Nick says with surprise as he appreciates the list of songs he just finished writing.

Cal, who is laying on the black couch and playing with one of the sticks of the drums passing it from one finger to another and with his legs on your lap, answer: “this shows we have matured, Nick.”

Of course you all laugh at his comment.

You cannot avoid quoting the famous meme: “sure, Jan.”

Albert is ready to start with the rehearsal. He has been playing some guitar chords since you gathered in the studio an hour ago.

The rehearsal come to an end, and you can finally cross out ‘rehearsal - day 1’ from your callendar.

“Do you want me to ride you home? The guys are with me in the car,” Cal asks you once you are outside the studio. It is funny how many girls are intimidated by Cal because of his attitude on stage, but he actually is a sweet boy.

“Thank you, Cal, but I am not far from home. I am gonna walk.” You have forgotten you were invited, as well as the guys, to the birthday of a friend you all have in common. Besides, you are tired; you had a really long day. “Just have fun, ok? See you tomorrow.”

Cal smiles at you. “Ok, take care, please,” he tells you as he hugs you. “See you tomorrow.”

Oh, how much you needed to walk alone in the streets of New York. Just you and yourself, as most of your life has been.

You plug in the airphones on your phone and you put them in your ears. It does not matter you just got out from playing music, you need it now. You actually need it all the time. What would this world be without music? Even if there is someone out there who does not enjoy music, he always has at least a song he plays in his mind, an many times, without noticing.

After pressing “play,” you find yourself opening Whatsapp to write to your friend Bucky.

But now you remember why the last chat between both of you was almost two months ago.

Steve’s accident and work made you forget for a couple of days about your argue(s) with Bucky.

And now, you realize you miss him.

You want to tell him about your day, about your week in Chicago, about your fears after you got to know Steve had an accident, about work. But you cannot.

What is this you are feeling? Pain and melancholy, of course, but there is something else when you think about Bucky. Another feeling that seems to come from your guts.

The days pass and you are too submerged on work, on your songs, on the chords you play, on endless but funny music sessions. But you cannot avoid thinking about him and it seems this new feeling does not want to leave you.

One day, after your interview with a radio station, you decide to find out about what is happening to you. Actually, you decide to accept this new feeling, and try to welcome it.

When you get home, the first thing you do is go to your bedroom and look for a huge black box that keeps all that is important to you.

You open the box looking for a particular thing, for a magazine. Before you find it, you take out photographs, tickets from concerts, notes from your friends, posters of your idols you used to have hung on the walls of your old bedroom, magazines and newspapers.

And here it is, the magazine you were looking for. The very first time you were in the cover of a magazine, two years ago, and it was the Rolling Stone.

You pass the pages until your reach your interview.

 “They make a good impression from the very beginning being punctual. At 9 pm they are sit on a big black leather couch in the huge living room of the hotel where they are staying in Los Angeles.”

You skip the descriptions and you finally read what you said that day.

When I ask about her relationship with Cal she quickly answers: ‘Whaaat?! No. He is just my friend.’ It seems to be something else between both of them.“ 

“Shitty journalists,” you think.

'There is no way I can have a boyfriend.’

'Yeah, if you pay attention, Cal just sings the love songs.’ As she says ‘love songs’ she rolls her eyes. ‘I don’t want to sing those songs.’ I ask her if there is any reason in particular and Y/N goes deeper on the subject:

‘well, I don’t feel those lyrics. It may sound like I am a girl who is ‘out of the box’ for not singing those songs but I don’t care what others think. It actually is like that. My parents got divorced when I was a child and I experienced the break of a whole family structure; it was hard, and it was harder when I saw my mom and my dad crying. I had to learn to live in two different places at the same time, I had to get used to all that new and difficult life; I had even to learn to live with the fact that both my parents found  a new girlfriend and a new boyfriend. With time you finally get used to it, but the process is complicated, stressful. You wonder about yourself, you wonder why life has to be like that. And more if you are a child. So, I think the ‘main’ aftermath of my parents divorce is my hatress towards romance. I am not victimizing, of course not. I believe all those experiences have made me stronger and cold.

I have never been in a relationship and I think I will never be. I am a cold person when it is about falling in love and all that shit. I have my two best girlfriends, Natasha and Wanda, and they are happy dating. Well, I am not. I respect them, but I am just foccused on more important things than trying to find your ‘soulmate.’ She rolls her eyes again.

'I definitely think you don’t need a person to be completed. That is bullshit. You are you with all you already have: with your thoughts, your books, your music, your clothes, your hairstyle. You are complete with yourself.’

'So, your door to meet someone is completely closed?’ I have to ask.

“Never say never,’ says the quote; I don’t know if there is a door, but a wall -I don’t know which is worse [laughs.] I have not met someone who has 'changed’ my thoughts, yet. I have not met the man who is 'the only exception,’ to call it in some way. I don’t think I am prepared to share my life, and dreams, and fears with someone else.’

You know why you looked specifically for this interview, for this magazine: because of your words. You wanted to prove you still think the same as that girl from two years ago.

But, do you?

Now you know what this new feeling is. And you are afraid but excited too.

Without noticing, you made a click when Steve talked to you that day at the hospital. You clearly remember his words: “There may be someone out there who is looking for someone exactly like you. And I am sure there is someone out there waiting for you. ”

Bucky.

Nervous, you start biting your nails.

You get up from the floor, grab a pen and a piece of paper and you write.

You know what it is like to overthink a situation and end up doing nothing. So, you let impulse guide you.

How are you going to do this? You have no idea. Maybe following the steps of the protagonists of the romantic movies you have avoided. Or doing what the characters of romantic books do, (which you have avoided too.)

Well, you have read “Romeo and Juliet,” but we all know how it ends.

You put on your coat and keep the piece of paper in one of the pockets before you leave your apartment.

You walk rapidly, almost running. Your mind and entire body are experimenting this mix of feelings: nervousness, excitment, fear, joy.

Pedestrians and buildings have disappeared for you. You have one thing, one person in mind right now.

As you walk, you put your hand inside your pocket to check if the piece of paper is still there.

Fortunatelly for you, an old lady is coming out from your target building.

“Thank you so much,” you tell her with a smile as she keeps the huge door open for you.

“Your welcome, my dear,” she answers, smiling too.

You do not even waste time in waiting for the elevator; instead, you go upstairs from two to two.

Once in the third floor, you walk the hall you have walked many times before. And here you are, just in front of the apartment 17.

Your hands start sweating and before you automatically run away from here, you ring the bell.

And you wait. You wait with a knot in your stomach while you bite your bottom lip that is almost bleeding.

You hear steps coming from the other side of the door.

Here he comes… here he comes.

And the door is opened.

And your smile fades.

A blonde girl is in front of you. "Hi." Her eyes are wide-open when she sees you and notices who you are. "Wh-? What?! What are you doing here? Oh my God!” She is super excited.

“Hi, I am looking for Bucky. Is he here?”

“No, he is not. He just left the apartment, he went out there to buy. God, I cannot believe you are here. Y/N is in here! Bucky never told me you were his friend!”

You laugh, forcefully. “Yeah. Sorry to ask, but… who are you?”

“Oh, I am dating Bucky.” She rapidly changes the topic: “hey, do you wanna come in? I am sure Bucky will be pleased to see you.”

Reality kicks your face once again. You swallow and you start bitting your bottom lip again. The knot in your stomach is tighter now. “Nice to know he met someone new," is what first comes to your mind. This is not what you were expecting, at all. You have preferred Bucky rejecting you. “No, it is fine. I think I am leaving now. Can y-?”

“Leaving?! Oh,” she seems disappointed. “Ok, before you leave, can you sign me something, please? Or can we take a picture? I am a big fan of your music, I love you so much!”

Great.

“Sure,” you bitterly say. Once the pictures were taken, you tell her: “hey, can you… can you give Bucky this?” you say as you take from your pocket the piece of paper and hand it in to her. “Thank you.”

And just like that, you leave. Once again, taking the stairs; you cannot be here one more minute. You put on the hood and you walk back home, regretting the fact that you went to look for him.

She hears the noise of the key and stands up from the couch of the living room.

“Bucky!” she says as he puts the bags on the floor, “you won’t believe who was here!”

Bucky just frowns, confused. “Who?”

“Y/N! She told me she is your friend and she even took pictures with me and…” Immediately after she told him your name, Bucky did not listen to any other of her words.

“What?!” Bucky inquires. “She was here? When? Does she tell you something?”

“Yes, she gave me this for you.”

Bucky receives the piece of paper and he does not even listen to her words: “why did not you tell me she was your friend?” He just puts all his attention to the words written in black ink, to your handwriting he knows so well:

“Sorry. As you once told me: “people are dorks sometimes.” I have been one all this time."