#(not that it changes but-)

[jellogram]

On my first day in Germany I got to my hotel and I couldn't get the lights to turn on. And I was like "Eh, fuck it, I'll just take a shower in the dark." And then the shower wouldn't get hot. I waited and waited and it stayed ice cold.

So I go down to the front desk and I'm like "My lights won't turn on and my shower won't get hot" so they send this guy up with me. We get into the room and I flick the switch and nothing happens so I'm like "See?"

And he goes "You must put your card in the slot."

"I... what? I have to put my room card in the light switch?"

"Of course!"

Now I have been in many hotels in the US and never encountered this concept, but apparently it was something most of their guests already knew. So I'm looking like a fool at this point. I feel like an idiot. The dude is fully grinning at me. I put the card in the slot and voila, the light turns on.

Then he's like "Ok, let's see if the shower works. You know you must wait for the hot water?" and I just know he's thinking I'm an idiot who also can't use a shower. This stupid American can't wait for the hot water! She can't even use a light switch or a shower!

And I guess he was distracted by these thoughts of my stupidity, because this dude fully stepped into the shower. In his nice dress shirt and slacks. He just. Gets into the shower.

And turns it on.

Have you ever seen a playing field get leveled instantaneously

[teaboot]

Okay so I'm a security guard, right

And part of why I like my job is cause I'm pretty good at deescalating conflicts without violence or police involvement

And that *might* be because my primary coping mechanism for stress is humor, and if the guy in the uniform isn't stressed out, usually nobody else is either

But anyhow today I witnessed a crime, which 911 had already been called for

And I'm telling the guy, you know, as he's running away, that nobody's gonna touch him, we don't do that here, I don't have any weapons and he can totally walk on out if he wants to

And he gives me this 'go-fuck-yourself" type answer, right? As you do

And I fucking

I fucking. Start danCING

I DONT KNOW WHY

I WAS JUST LIKE "aight guess I'll go fuck myself then, cheerio" AND START FUCKING DANCING

LIKE MY BRAIN WAS LIKE "Cool not being attacked, gotta keep the witnessed calm, gotta stay chill and breezy" AND THE PHYSICAL RESPONSE FOR THAT WAS TO SYART DOING THIS SASSY FUCKING JIG

I DIDNT EVEN REALIZR I WAS FDOUNG IT UNTIL SOMEONE POIU TED IT OUT AFTER

and it all ended fine and the dude is in custody and I get a call from my boss like "Yeah we're gonna need to send footage to police"

AND

FUCKING

THIS IS GOING TO BE SHOWN IN COURT SOMEWHERE

IM DOUNG A SRUPID LITTLE DANCE ON CAMERA AS THIS GUY LOSES HIS MIND AND ITS GONNA BE ON COURT SOMEWHERW

THIS IS THE STUPIDEST FUCKING THING IVE WVER DONE

I HATE MYSELFD

[babylonqaf]

where's that "was anyone gonna tell me" meme when you need it because holy shit did the bird app just slap me in the face with this

(and yes, it's real and terrifying tbh)

[animentality]

[muffinlevelchicanery]

[rainia]

this speaking as a cis person. Nothing brings me more joy seeing people find gender euphoria in becoming a mediocre representation of humanity. And I mean that so genuinely. Local boy finds joy and fulfillment wearing a cargo shorts and t-shirt combo. Local girl has transitioned to look like someone's disheveled aunt, has never been happier. Local person experiences gender euphoria rocking the world's worst bowl-cut. Without a scap of irony, this shit makes me see the wonder and whimsy in just, being a human. An average, person going through their day-to-day, is a wondrous thing? That's amazing. And heteronormativity has stripped these experiences of their joy. Like you're right, wearing a basic girlypop skirt should make my heart sing. Why not? Why are these expressions lesser because they're normal? All this to say. Shoutout to all the basic bitches out there. Yes that polo shirt does make you look like a divorced golfer dad. Yes, that too is kind of a slay, now that I think of it.

[catlaila]

everyone crying over caitlyn dictator this caitlyn fascist arc that … everyone failed to recognize the power of a butch lesbian against generational cycles of violence. caitlyn most girlfailure dictator ever. saw her ex for 3 seconds and immediately folded. girl me too tf

[professorcalculusstanaccount]

when I look at western media depictions of Chinese things I always look for gay lions

so lion statues have a male and female lion pair, male lions have a ball to play with and lionesses have a little baby to take care of (lion patriarchy)

Lot of westerners don't know this so they accidentally draw Gay Lions

look at them. love wins

[nothorses]

there is a judge in Seattle who does the weekly name change hearings, and who says it's her favorite part of the week. she says she doesn't read out previous names, or ask about the reasons why people want to change them. she says it's a beautiful moment, and a celebration; a claiming of a new identity, or a reclamation of an old identity. she encourages the room to clap for folks. then she welcomes everyone up, one by one, by last name and with warmth; she shows them the court order where nobody else can see, asks them to double check the spelling, and then they're done! do they want a picture? do they want their friends and loved ones who came with them to be in it too? do they want the court order in the photo? she helps everyone pose, shakes hands and stands with them for as long as they need to take it, recruits the clerk for help taking photos of the folks who came alone. then she tells them where to go next, congratulates them, and claps along with the rest of the room.

probably three quarters of the people there were trans, and she centered their experience quietly, with love and joy.

I think I'll be thinking about her a lot this January, and for a long time after. it's good to know she's there.

[ionomycin]

temple at the end of the road

[j0die101]

(April 12th 2024)

No medical confirmation or psychological evaluation necessary. The law will be active by the 1st of November this year.

First names can also be changed while changing gender. One all inclusive package with minimum effort.

[cy-lindric]

Started a new vest project this week ! Test swatch + bottom section ⛪🌿

[animentality]

[anthropologist-on-the-loose]

I'm as grateful for cellphones as the next person, but sometimes I think about how everyone having a phone on them at all times really did cause us to loose some things as a society. I mean - for example, kids these days will never experience their car breaking down and needing to find the nearest place with a phone they can use. They're never going to have the opportunity to tentatively approach a house only to discover that it's full of queer people having a party hosted by a transvestite to celebrate his creation of a sex homunculus, stay the night, and loose their virginity while unintentionally partaking in cannibalism. It's tragic, that kind of gay sexual awakening just doesn't happen these days because of cellphones.

[sillyguy-supreme]

white americans when you tell them that the idea of climate change as an impending disaster is a reductive first world perspective because it’s a tangible reality for many in the global south already: