#(not that i'm bitter about it 🙃 anyway)
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hiii im sure you’ve answered this before but in regards to your twst x Pokémon, how do you choose which Pokémon go give to the cast?? really curious since your choices are unique :O
unique in a good way, I hope? 😅 (jk jk I haven't come across too many pokemon AUs, so I was going in without preconceptions, I guess!) I was sorta aiming somewhere between doing, like, a full AU with internal consistency and everything, and just picking entirely based on theme/character, so maybe that's why! basically I just set some arbitrary rules (no legendaries/no repeats/evo stages based on year) and then went on ~vibes~. a couple were also suggestions (thank you guys!) and last-minute decisions, so it was a bit of a delightful mess of ideas!
my one regret is that I should have given Riddle a Togedemaru after all. ...you know what, he can have one now, why not
#art#twisted wonderland#pokemon#poketwst#okay i have one other correction to make#which is that i think vil should also have a garbodor#NO LISTEN#i have thought about it a lot but i just do not want to give him a milotic#and this is because -- now hear me out#neige would actually be the one with a milotic#(it fits his personality more and it's even in his colors!)#when they were kids vil had a trubbish and neige had a feebas and vil felt superior until the whole milotic thing happened#and he's secretly kind of bitter about it#but he also secretly loves his garbodor a lot and gets mad when people make fun of it#IS HE NOT BEAUTIFUL ENOUGH FOR BOTH OF THEM#also garbodor ferments poison inside of it! it would be the perfect alchemy assistant!#I'M RIGHT OKAY#(i am also a big fan of trubbish/garbodor and i don't personally think they're ugly anyway)#anyway enjoy this drawing because it completely exploded my computer#(it was not the drawing's fault it was just unfortunate timing)#i've mostly got things working again but oof. it's been. a day. 🙃
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honestly interacting with women who pull the "hate all men except trans men" shit as a trans man who presents very femininely and likes quote-unquote "looking like a cis woman" is even more wack like i know you only trust me cuz i look like one of you. you don't even know that i'm not one of you. if i ever felt the desire to physically transition or present more masculine or adopt more traditionally masculine interests i know you're gonna start putting me on eggshells and it fucking sucks to be hyperaware of that conditional acceptance it really really does
#i have more i could say here because i feel like i'm in a unique position as a man who genuinely likes quote unquote 'looking like a woman'#i don't see a lot of talk about people like me people really don't give a shit about us#(not that i'm bitter about it 🙃 anyway)#but my brain is too foggy to put it all in to words i'm just exhausted today#it's just such a weird shitty place to be in#transandrophobia#transphobia#marshy speaks
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Hello hello, it is time once again for, you guessed it!
Rating Clu's
Homoerotically tense
Relationships
I thought long and hard about this because I only had about 2 in my head when I mistakenly threw it out there in another post but like, here you go 😎
Have a picture in case you forgot what cgi Jeff Bridges looks like:
Behold, a guy. Anyway
1. Kevin
He is the most obvious so I'll get this one out of the way
You are me and I am you but you are the darkest parts of me but I love you anyway
This begs the question:
Would you fuck your darker self/clone
Idk about u but my heart tells me that Kevin sure would
7/10 it's about the man vs self of it all
2. Jarvis (why is this photo so fuckin big??)
I know I said Kevin is the most obvious
But this guy has the biggest crush on Clu
He is simp supreme
Like the way he turns to Clu for approval after everything he says makes me feel like I should leave the room
He loses a point for being a dork coward but Sam's mascara is very pretty and he's also a Flynn so I can't blame him too much
9/10 go henchboy go
3. Rinzler
Fellas, is it gay to brainwash god's most specialest boyfriend and make him loyal to only you all while knowing god is still out there and can see what you've done to everything he loves? All while knowing he's nothing more than a pet and will never love you and wouldn't even if he could
Like talk about the ultimate rebound
No notes honestly, I don't even need to go on with this one
11/10 not even one girl(Quorra) could make this all seem a little less gay
4. Dyson
Another case of yoinking your exes boy but this time it was consensual
He literally just agrees with Clu and helped him take over
If that's not a basis for a strong relationship then idk what is
He really seems so desperate to stay in Clu's favor like he must know that tron is the real prize here, his bitter ex. Has there ever been so much dating drama between programs?
5/10 replaceable.
5. Sammy
It occurs to me now that he hasn't made it on these lists yet so everyone clap for him
I feel brave for even acknowledging this one
Is Clu his dad? Is he an entity separate but still containing qualities of his father at a certain point in time that forever diverged from the moment of conception? Idk he's a computer man
So like the part where he's just kinda circling Sam looking him up and down like he's a prized pig? Yeah.
CAUTION THIS IS A JOKE please for the love of Kevin don't cancel me over this
2/10 why the 2? Cause there's fics out there man I know it
6. Zuse
He's so babygirl
Clu even mixed him a drink before he blew him up
I love their dynamic I get the feeling if Clu had to spend more than 5 minutes around him he'd strangle him much sooner
Stoic asshole with the silly asshole
Honestly they're perfect for each other
10/10 what can I say? I'm a simple program I see two men interact and I rate them
Special mention:
7. Quorra
Now some of you might say, hey Puddle Girl, this isn't homoerotic at all she's a girl
Well they're programs so gender isn't real and also they're bi so it counts
Anyway I thought about this one cause there was this weird tense moment towards the end of the movie where Quorra is captured and Clu's just like, talking to her and touches her hair and it was uncomfortable but it also made me feel some type of way
Like I understand that it's 100% a power play BUT
😏
3/10 he was gonna add her to the boyfriend collection cause all he does is steal from Kevin
Hi in honor of my Tron themed birthday I finally finished this. I was really reaching for some of these as you can see but I can't take it too seriously anyway. I'm always here for the gay of it all but is it homoerotic or do they just need to put more people who aren't men in this franchise? We'll literally never know! 🙃
Hey @soihadthisdreamonce I'm sorry 5-10 business days turned into 5-10 business weeks I was moving and time got away from me but I didn't forget you
#if you're reading this#im sorry#its my worst one yet#dont worry though ill think of something else to rate badly#tron#tron legacy#tron uprising#tronblr#clu#kevin flynn#sam flynn#quorra
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Any chance for a snippet for the next chapter Yokan? Or any idea when the next chapter is is going to come out ♥️ I’m re reading the Wolf 3 right now and am nearing the end of the updated chapters lol 😭
Hii, friend! ❤️ I can't promise when the next chapter will come because this is turning out to be a monster. 🥲 I'm at about 80% now, and have been making decent progress, but editing this is going to be🙃 So I hope to have it finished soon, but I don't know when. But since you asked, I can give you a little snippet. 😁 This is a scene I had been working on earlier today, Kol and Eve having a 1x1. Don't know if that's the kind of thing you wanted from this chapter, but I was actually having some fun writing this. 😂 Bear in my mind that I have not edited anything, so this could all change. But I hope you enjoy it. 🥲
From TW4x03: "Hello," he greets her, only half her face visible from where she's hiding - quite poorly, mind you - behind the kitchen door. Eve blinks up at him, but stays remains quiet. "Cat eat your tongue?"
She abandons her cover, stepping fully into the kitchen now, all pink pajamas and pigtails.
She is... Big. Kol is definitely not used to following humans' growth spurts from up-close. It's perfectly normal, he supposes, but it still comes as a bit of an irrational shock to see how she went from a little baby to this fully formed mini-person. A mini-Niklaus, nonetheless. Though with none of the malice and aggression and the annoying hubris ingrained into every line of Niklaus' body after a thousand years of living in pure rage. That aside, the similarity is uncanny. It's easy to forget there was once a sweet boy somewhere before the moody tyrant took over.
"My mom says I shouldn't talk to strangers," she tells him as though reciting words she's heard countless times before.
"Ouch. Out for blood, are you?" he retorts flatly. Her wariness doesn't bother him as it seemed to bother Niklaus earlier. In Kol's experience, it's smart to remain watchful around this family. "I'm not a stranger, though. I'm your coolest uncle. My name is -"
"Kol," she finishes for him. "I know."
He smiles. "See? You do know who your coolest uncle is."
"I don't really remember you, though."
A frown appears on her little brow, as though she's straining to remember, sweeping through her admittedly short tapestry of memories after any moments the two of them might have shared. The fact that he knows she won't find any does cause a bit of a pang, he must admit.
Kol doubts he would've spent much time around his niece anyway, seeing as he was always trying to free himself of his family's clutches, but the reasons why he didn't are still a sore spot. Niklaus didn't even trust him enough to tell him about his daughter at first. And when he finally did, Kol ended up murdered by another one of his brothers before he could even be properly introduced to Eve.
"Yes, well. A sore shame if you ask me. I'm rather delightful," he remarks, detracting from the bitterness. "Isn't it a bit past your bed time anyway? Are you up to no good, by any chance?"
"What are you going to do if I am?"
Kol coughs up a laugh at her unexpected show of defiance. "That depends," he bargains. "Are you planning on putting a frog under your uncle Elijah's pillow?"
Eve giggles. "No."
"Filling Rebekah's pillowcase with flour?" More giggles. "Oh, I know! You're going to spread spicy pepper on your father's toothbrush."
That gets a full-out belly-laugh from her, blue eyes twinkling with delight at the thought of playing pranks on her family. Kol likes her more and more by the second.
"That's mean!" she exclaims in-between waves of laughter.
"You say that because you haven't seen his face. Then it's just hilarious. But if anyone asks, I never told you that." He punctuates it with a wink.
#yokan writes#yokan answers#marginally-accurate#the wolf#most of this chapter consists of family moments#with plot lightly dusted over a bit or two#but the plotty parts however far and few are actually very relevant so i need to police myself not to makeit *too* irrelevant#so that people might pay attention to some of the hints at future events#ANYWAY#this is a very silly bit#but i hope you like it because i'm having fun writing these immortal beasts of the apocalypse being totally clueless around a mini human
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So I gotta ask, do you have any headcannons(or cannons I guess since you're the author) about Melanie and Anakin that you can share without spoilers to much.
I'm going through Rewrite the stars withdrawal lol
Awww, thank you so very much for the ask, dear! (And so sorry again about your Rewrite the Stars withdrawal. 😭 Things have been crazyyy in my life. My bro was in the hospital for a while, but he’s okay now though. Also just me fighting my never ending depression spells 🙃). 😅😂
I would be happy to offer some “head” canons! Or canons, technically, as you said. 😂 Lol.
Essentially, this has become like one big, long SW meta analysis and meta analysis on my SW fic, Rewrite the Stars, and Anakin and Melanie’s characters. Sorry for the long response. 😭 I got really into explaining my thoughts. Haha.
I’ll put this under a read more, as it’s VERYYY long:
I’ll just say that the entire reason I started this story is because well, I wanted a fix it fic of course. 😂 But also just because I wanted to write this kind of grand, epic tale in general, just like Star Wars is supposed to be.
A lot of fics I’ve seen like this completely demonize the Jedi most of the time and blame them for their own genocide. And the ones that don’t, also flip it the complete opposite way around and demonize Anakin to where he’s nothing but a cackling demon who kicks puppies for fun (and well… would he do that AFTER the prequel trilogy when he’s in his emo Darth Vader era? Probably. 😂 But he wouldn’t be CACKLING while doing it. He’d be very bitter and callous about it, because Anakin likes to take out his anger on the world when he’s in pain, so by GOD the entire galaxy is gonna be in pain along with him).
But anyways, I’m kinda getting off track.
My point is: the whole reason I started my SW fic is because I wanted to write the type of epic, grand tale of a fic that I’ve been looking for that treats all of its characters with love and respect while ALSO still calling out their flaws and allowing them to grow. That includes everyone: Anakin, Padmé, Ahsoka, Barriss, Mace, Obi-Wan, Dooku, Satine, etc—EVERYONE.
I feel like fandom has become this toxic environment where if you’re criticizing a character, then… (le gasp 😱)… you don’t really LIKE themmm. (Untrue. 😂).
I love, love, LOVE Anakin. He is my hot, insane, child killing bastard of a mans.
… But I also hate him too. 😭😂
I HATE what he’s done and what he believes in after the war and how he just wallows like a child in his pain. I HATE how selfish he is (while at the same time heavily relate to his fear of death and losing those he loves to them dying/growing older). And I also HATE how damn close he was to making a better choice, but he DIDN’T, because in the end, it didn’t MATTER if Anakin technically knew the ‘right’ way to act. He purposely went against it, because he was just too selfish to let go of Padmé (he kinda did a self fulfilling prophecy with her death, but we’re not gonna talk about that part right now), and so he decided his happiness meant more than the entire galaxy, and burned down his childhood home like a school shooter and helped genocide his friends just for the CHANCE to save his wife.
And all of this, in the usual fics I’ve seen, can somehow be undone, just by changing a few little moments in Anakin’s life where he doesn’t get his feelings hurt: ie; Obi-Wan faking his death, Ahsoka leaving the Order/being framed by Barriss, or Mace/Qui-Gon/whoever-the-fuck-you-want-to-say being assigned as his Master instead of Obi-Wan.
And just… no. 😂
As shown through this wonderful SW blog here:
Anakin doesn’t do what he did because, oh, “This, this, and THIS happened to him”, and if you take that away and help him avoid it, he’ll suddenly change and be all warm and fuzzy inside and won’t burn the whole fucking galaxy just because HE cannot handle Padmé (MAYBE) dying and leaving him alone (when he wouldn’t even really BE alone, but Anakin also clearly puts Padmé/romantic love above all else. He might care for his friends and family, but he’d throw them all under the bus if it came down to the wire between them and Padmé). This is something I will go into in the fic as Anakin slowly starts to take a look at himself as he realizes: “wait… wtf? Do I even KNOW what Rex does outside of work? 🤔😨” for him to realize that he’s so obsessive over one person… that everyone else is slowly becoming put to the wayside.
Stopping one or two little things in Anakin’s life during the Clone Wars isn’t going to magically make him see the light and not be a currently ticking time bomb.
That is not how change WORKS. Not REAL change anyway. All of the fics I’ve seen written, usually hand wave a lot of Anakin’s misdeeds and flaws away, and pretend like if you hold Anakin’s hand through certain parts of the war and help him avoid THESE certain moments, that he’ll suddenly just magically become a better person who understands what being selfless and less greedy actually means.
That… is not true change. TRUE change is Anakin HIMSELF realizing slowly but surely as the war goes on that he’s slowly becoming someone he doesn’t recognize in the mirror anymore (*cough* Mel line drop from upcoming chapter? 👀✨ *cough*). TRUE change is Anakin HIMSELF working through his flaws and inner demons, before he gradually begins to realize with a sense of sickening horror that he has been WRONG: ie; massacring an entire Tusken village down to the last child while never telling another soul except Padmé about it and whistling happily to himself without a care in the world as the war rages on.
TRUE change (as you might’ve started to guess from the most recent chapter of my fic) is Anakin HIMSELF slowly but surely starting to question his actions, by comparing them to other people he respects and cares for.
Which brings us to your question on “headcanons”.
The entire purpose of the relationship between Melanie and Anakin (besides me living vicariously through her 😂) is that they are a MIRROR for each other.
Melanie and Anakin, while very different, aren’t COMPLETE and total opposites. There are purposeful parallels between them: their moms, their care of droids, their fear of losing those they love to death, and the PURPOSEFUL CHOICE GIVEN TO MELANIE BY THE SHOPKEEPER 👀 that parallels the choice Anakin is given at the end of ROTS by Palpatine himself in their choice to help the galaxy or be selfish and choose themselves/their own wants instead.
There is a quote I have based their relationship off of. I will share it here (if you are still with me, because I know I ramble a lot 😅😂):
People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that's what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life.
A true soul mate is probably the most important person you'll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake.
—Elizabeth Gilbert
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Melanie and Anakin are meant to have parallel journeys, even though their personalities are very different. But it’s more than that: their fatal flaws are in direct conflict with each other.
Anakin’s fatal flaw is: greed/selfishness.
Melanie’s fatal flaw is: fear/judgement.
BUT as they are forced into working together… the more they interact with each other… the more their fatal flaws are FORCED to be challenged by the other.
Anakin’s more selfish nature is challenged more and more by just being in Melanie’s presence and watching how she acts with complete compassion and selflessness in certain situations, which makes him slowly start to look at himself internally and take a look at his own actions and thoughts, gradually beginning to realize how selfish he’s slowly become without even realizing it.
Melanie, in turn, has the purposeful flaw of judgment, which can make her self righteous at times (even if she IS correct most of the time 😂), and also the flaw of fear, which as readers have seen, makes her a bit more cautious than she should be in her actions on trying to outsmart Palpatine to save the galaxy.
It’s kind of ironic: just being AROUND Anakin slowly begins to challenge Melanie’s fatal flaws (since she was completely fucking terrified of him the very first moment she realized she was in the SW universe and realized Anakin/Darth Vader was real now 😂). She sees things in such a black and white way at first, but as time goes on, Anakin’s need to be gentle with her and prove himself to Mel, makes her question her judgment with him, which allows her the ability to give him a chance. In turn, just being in his PRESENCE challenges her other fatal flaw on fear, since he’s a walking nightmare PTSD trigger for her pounding heart (and not always in the fun way 👀💓❤️🔥☠️😂).
Anyway, my point is that they aren’t just meant to be together romantically to be TOGETHER. It’s because I have purposefully tried to develop a romantic slow burn relationship that comes with my story to weave itself against the original theme of Rewrite the Stars, which is this: TRUE change and atonement/redemption.
Anakin physically CANNOT get closer to Mel, until he forced himself to take a step back and give her some space. If he wants to get anywhere with her, he HAS to start looking internally at himself to try and change and be more gentle with her.
Melanie, in turn, CANNOT outsmart Palpatine and win the war without Anakin’s help and working together with him over the next three years of The Clone Wars. She HAS to get past her judgment and allow herself to swallow her terror enough to give him a chance, because she NEEDS him to win.
This is a chess match between her and Palpatine, remember? And if you lose the king, you lose the game.
ANAKIN is the king. 👀
I bet you can’t guess what chess piece Melanie is. 😂 Lol.
Anyway, I feel like I’ve done a whole lot of taking in circles (sorry about that 😅), because I wanted to go ahead and explain my whole process for this fic while I had the time, so I can also refer this post if I ever need to again.
Now! Getting into some more FUN Stuff:
Idk if you’ve looked up my fic on Wattpad, but I have a lot of cool graphics posted there from my mind and from other artists/authors that have gifted me such wonderful cover art ( @shoniwake ! 👀✨❤️), and in a certain subsection, I have a whole playlist page dedicated as a type of ‘outline’ for the entire story of my fic (fair warning, it’s a lot 😅), just because I think it helps me with planning stuff out.
I won’t tell you all of them, of course. But I’ll share a few of my favorite songs that I always think are the PERFECT songs for Melanie and Anakin’s relationship and their slow burn romantic development. 😭🥺💔❤️💕✨
Innocence by Nathan Wagner
Stronger Together by Lou & SQVARE
Now I See by Lou & SQVARE
-
I love these three songs so much, because of their theme of two people coming together as a team and/or learning to open up their hearts to the other and to help the other person the see world in a different way. 🥹❤️💕
This is basically what I want for Melanie and Anakin. Their relationship isn’t just about having a romance in the story (although that’s part of it. Haha 😂💕). It’s about how their relationship meshes in with the rest of the themes of the story: TRUE change and growth into something better.
Melakin is purposely written to be in direct contrast to Anidala (which is still written with care and not erasing their genuine affection, by the way! I think it’s extremely lazy writing to write a canon relationship OOC just to prop up your OC’s own), which shows the difference between a more healthy developing relationship that is based on genuine care and respect (Melakin) and in contrast with one that is more based around idealizing the other person/ignoring their faults and putting them up on a pedestal that is sure to lead to disappointment (Anidala).
This is, as you know from reading the fic, slowly starting to be shown in how Anidala acts with each other in their trash fire (in my opinion! Don’t kill meeee! 🙌😂) of a marriage, which has them basically talking past each other/not really caring about anything that isn’t SPECIFICALLY RELEVANT to the other person (ie; them. Not anything with their family or job. Just THEM. Because while the love is genuine, it’s also eerily obsessive, which was GL’s whole point of them being star crossed lovers that burn out from their own flawed choices in regards to being together and trying to have it all).
This is also shown in my fic with Melakin vs Anidala contrasting each other in Anakin’s choices and how he interacts with them. Anakin REMEMBERS stuff about Mel’s life and choices that really he has no need to care about, but he does anyway. In contrast, there is a scene in the latest chapter of my SW fic where Anakin forgets a very… important member… of Padmé’s family 😭 (If you know, you know 👀🫣😬). 😂
I guess what I’m saying is is that I’m trying to not PREACH to the readers of my fic. I’m trying to write scenes that SHOW them what I believe to be true in regards to Anidala’s toxic relationship/the Jedi being scapegoats that everyone cruelly blames for their own genocide/how the Jedi culture might not be how THE READERS want to live, but it doesn’t change the fact that it IS a valid culture/way to live, and it doesn’t deserve to be eradicated just because you don’t understand/like/agree with it.
I’m trying to lead up into the themes and lessons of my fic as I go along, is what I’m saying. 😂 Which is a really heavy feat, considering how long it’ll end up being as a grand, epic tale. 😩
And a big part of the theme of my SW Fic: genuine change and growth into something better than you were before (ie; TRUE redemption) cannot happen to Anakin as easily as some of the time travel fix-it fics/other fix-it fics I’ve seen written on A03 before. Changing a few little things so Anakin doesn’t have to deal with a few moments in his life is not GENUINE and TRUE change. What that is is essentially placation. It’s PLACATING and CODDLING someone dangerous, which allows them (for the MOMENT) to calm down, because they are generally happy and have the things they want and aren’t under stress like Anakin was in the ending of ROTS when there was nobody there to hold his hand for him to ‘guide’ him in the right direction.
For TRUE change and redemption to happen for Anakin, he has to admit to himself that he was WRONG.
He has to ADMIT and ACKNOWLEDGE that actions he has taken are horrific (the Tusken Massacre), and accept people’s/the Jedi’s judgment on it without becoming defensive and acting like he’s being unfairly attacked and punished for something not that big of a deal. He has to ADMIT and ACKNOWLEDGE that his thought process has slowly but surely become corrupted over the years without him even realizing it, whether that’s from the war or Palpatine stroking his ego or from the trauma of his childhood making him cling to things too hard—it doesn’t really matter. He has to RECOGNIZE that he has become someone over the years that he can’t even recognize in the mirror in relation to that little nine year old boy on Tatooine (about how selfish he has become), and what he can do to change that.
I know some fans will think I am attacking Anakin and that I hate him or something (and well… I DO hate him… but I also love him 🫣☠️❤️😂), but that is not the case. I LOVE Anakin’s character and truly relate to him on such a deep level in terms of how terrified he is of losing the people he loves to death. I can recognize myself and some of my worst fears deeply in him.
However, at the same time, I can also acknowledge that Anakin’s trauma from his childhood (from slavery/his mother dying in front of him), has essentially made his entire personality completely self serving. Because yes, Anakin can care about other people. He cares about and loves his friends. He’d do anything he could to keep them from harm (at least in TCW era 🥶☠️), but the hard truth is… he doesn’t think of his relationships and saving them from death in terms of what his LOVED ONES deserve or what THEY will lose if they die. He thinks about it in terms of what HE will lose if they die.
He straight up says it in the scene with Mace and then the scene with Palpatine: He NEEDS to keep Palpatine (who he KNOWS is an evil Sith Lord) alive, because it’s the only way he can keep Padmé alive. HE can’t live without HER.
There’s genuine love there. I am not denying that. Anakin isn’t a cackling villain like Palpatine (it’s the whole reason Anakin CAN be talked into coming back to the Light Side by Luke, whereas Palpatine would melt Luke’s fucking face off without hesitation if he tried). He cares and loves his family and friends and wife and kids… in a TOXIC way. In an OBSESSIVE way. In a way that is essentially all about HIM: ie; selfish.
Example 1:
Out of context, this sounds very romantic and simply just a reasonable amount of worry. But in relation to all the other things Anakin will end up saying while referring to Padmé as essentially a possession, I’m placing it here anyway as perhaps a sign of his darkening thoughts.
Example 2:
Yes, yes, I knowwww… some of you ladies will be like: 🥺💔 at the sad murder puppy moment. And I suppose it’s still very evil wet cat bastard level/blorbo of him in a intoxicating way for people who want to feel loved—at the same time, he’s essentially saying: look, man, I don’t care if I gotta murder some kids and betray my friends and descend the galaxy and Republic into darkness (which I know my wife will be fucking horrified at). It’s very important that I DO NOT have to deal with this pain, okay?? 😭 Everyone else can be in pain, but not meeee. I’ll crush and stab my friends in the back just so I won’t be left alone from my wife dying.
Very sad. Very wet cat villain blorbo of him.
And yet—VERY selfish and evil. 😭🤷♀️👀😂
He’s essentially saying—fuck the galaxy. Let me get mine, and I’ll go home. ☠️
Example 3:
This one’s pretty obvious. By this point, he’s lost his shit. His mind’s already cracking at the seams as he tries to keep justifying the actions he’s taken, which will eventually lead into his 20 year long dissociation where he essentially goes, “Nahhh, that wasn’t meee. That was DARTH VADER. Anakin didn’t do that, because ANAKIN is still a good person (he mutters to himself over and over like a maniac at night in his emo villain lair), whereas I AM THE DARK INCARNATE. 😌🖤” so he doesn’t have to admit to himself that HE—yes, THAT he, Anakin fucking Skywalker—has become an actual terrible fucking person with no heart. 🤷♀️😭😬
I don’t see why this is so hard for SW fandom to get. It’s a METAPHOR George Lucas uses to say Darth Vader killed Anakin (and also just a way to plug up the plot hole of what Obi-Wan originally told Luke in the first movie). It doesn’t mean that Anakin’s consciousness is sleeping inside Vader’s head like a fucking cat. Lmao. 😭
Not only would that not make SENSE in terms of how GL wrote it, but it also just essentially makes Anakin’s ‘redemption’ (I don’t really view it as a true redemption. More like just the Christian version of salvation for his soul by the skin of his teeth. Although GL did say Anakin was redeemed in the eyes of LUKE only, because he said some crap about being redeemed in the eyes of our children) all but useless. 😭 You can’t say on one hand that Darth Vader’s ‘redemption’ is the most iconic one of all time, while at the same time saying on the other hand that “Anakin never did any of those things. It was DaRtH VaDeR! 🤪🤪🤪” because then you’re essentially absolving Anakin of all of his crimes while on the Dark Side, and if Anakin is absolved of all of his crimes… then wtf is there TO make him the most iconic ‘redemption’ of all time??? 😭🤷♀️ I mean, like—what IS there to ‘redeem’ at that point??? Ya can’t have both, kids. Lol. 😂
This is also essentially what Anakin wanted in terms of his relationship with Padmé and the Jedi Order. He wanted it ALL. He wanted BOTH. Sureee, he TALKED about quitting the Jedi Order eventually after the war to be with Padmé in a little space cottage. But could he WALK THE WALK? Could he really give up the thrill of chasing an enemy, or the twitch of his fingers in reaching for his lightsaber? 😑🤔 Me myself has some doubtssss.
He wanted it ALL. He wanted to be married while ALSO having the strength and power that came from being a Jedi Knight. He didn’t WANT to choose. He even SAYS it.
Example 4: Essentially this SW meme
He doesn’t want to CHOOSE. And it’s why it’s BS when it’s argued he was put in this position by the Council’s rules on marriage, because it’s LITERALLY just like a vow of a priest at a Catholic Church. They can’t marry either, just like the Jedi Order. BUT (unlike what fandom likes to believe), the Order isn’t some cult, and you are free to leave at any time (and hell, they’ll even build a statue after you leave, apparently, if the one they built of Dooku that’s in the Archives (I think) is anything to go by), just as a priest is free to leave the Catholic Church at any time. Because it’s a COMMITMENT to that place. And people might think it’s dumb/stupid/not like it—or even understand it! And you don’t HAVE to like something from a religion/culture/belief, or understand something, to still respect it (another theme drop for the next chapter of my SW fic? 👀😂).
So, what some people will probably wonder is—“But, Starbelt! (Le gasp 😱) Then how is the Jedi culture going to be respected in my fic, if Melakin is still endgame at the end of their slow, slow burn?”
And to that question, I say, “I am not a by-the-book-to-the-very-LETTER interpreter of the Jedi Code (although I’m not saying the code of an entire culture is gonna be ‘changed’ for legit one person/couple. Lmao. 🤦♀️🤷♀️😂), but I AM a Jedi lover who is of the belief that—even if you don’t completely AGREE or even UNDERSTAND the Jedi Order and their code—it shouldn’t matter. It shouldn’t be difficult to respect it. It shouldn’t be difficult to not scold a culture on their beliefs, while essentially saying that belief is the reason it is ‘good’ for The Force/galaxy that they were genocided as a ‘clean slate’. 😬🤦♀️☠️”
What I WILL say, is that I am going to explore the Jedi Order and the different interpretations of the Code and The Force in general in this fic, and what that means in terms of coexistence, instead of the frankly childish notion of just painting an entire culture as emotionless and wrong in their beliefs, like they are some kind of stuck up, snooty and rich culture that ‘deserved what they got’. 🙄🤦♀️😬☠️
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ANYWAY, back to my point with Anakin, and how my fic is trying to complete the most massive and epic of all writing tasks: making Anakin slowly change and grow out of his greed and selfishness into a better person in such an organic way, that perhaps may one day be compared with the likes of Zuko’s redemption from ATLA (I know, I knowww. Pretty high hopes for myself. Lol. 😂).
So, essentially, in the original “timeline” of ROTS, Anakin is freaking losing it, and since nobody is there to hold his hand, he descends right into the core selfishness that is buried inside of him, where he basically just decides, “Fuck it,” and throws all of his morals out the window so he can keep himself from the pain of losing Padmé (ie; it’s really about HIM and his fear, and not about Padmé deserving to live and see more beauty in the world) by cutting off Mace’s hand to stop him from killing Palpatine, because—in Anakin’s OWN words:
Example 5:
Like… 🤷♀️😭.
People like to sing “Lalalala,” and plug their ears by pretending Anakin is just so shocked in this scene (le gasp 😱) that Mace is being so UN-JEDI-LIKE, and that it just convinced him that the Jedi Order truly has been ‘corrupted’. 🤦♀️🙄
Now see… that might hold some water if Anakin literally didn’t scream “I NeEd HiM! 😡” at Mace like an unhinged five year old, which literally PROVES that the only reason Anakin wants Mace to keep Palpatine alive and not to kill the guy yet is because he needs to learn the super-secret-Dark-Side-magicy way of how to save himself from the pain of losing Padmé to dying in childbirth.
… Because like some may recall, Anakin LITERALLY beheaded Dooku himself all but like… what? 12 hours ago? 😭🤦♀️
Essentially, this meme:
So, essentially, what I’m getting at here is: Anakin is a goddamn hypocrite. 😂
Now, in relation to my SW fic? What I essentially am TRYING to accomplish, is to have Anakin slowly CHANGE HIMSELF as the war goes on and he interacts more with Melanie and witnesses her compassion, while in turn comparing her actions to his own.
Melanie isn’t supposed to ‘fix’ or ‘change’ Anakin. Anakin is supposed to be INSPIRED to change from how he grows to care and admire Mel’s choices and who she is inside her heart as the Clone Wars rages on.
I do all of this, so in the HOPES that when he is presented with this scene again, it makes perfect sense to all readers of my fic that his choice may become different—essentially choosing for ONCE, a more selfless route, out of no expectation that he will gain anything in return (that only happens with Luke like—20 years later—and it’s not like he had many other options at that point. 😭🤷♀️ Lol.).
(And as I said—MAY become different… 👀 After all, Melanie still has a long way to go before the end of the war… 👀)
But yeah—that’s my plans with my SW Anakin x OC Fic, Rewrite the Stars, and how I’m planning it and Melakin’s relationship to go. I placed a big feat on myself. 😂❤️💕
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If you wanna see some of my like… ideas/notes on what I have planned to eventually place in there somewhere, I will show you a few things, because it’s not really SPOILERS, since I already talk about the Jedi genocide a lot anyway (it drives me up the wall when SW fandom refers to it as ThE FaLl Of ThE jEdi 🤪🤪🤪). Guess it makes it easier to blame them all for their own deaths that way if you refer to their genocide and slaughter as a “fall”. 😭🙄 Idk. 🤷♀️
I also have some stuff with the history of Churches splitting into different factions (ie: The Great Schism of 1054), which I will be weaving in as a parallel at some point. 👀👀 I will not explain why, as that would be too spoilery, but I’m sure some of my more in depth analysis readers on my work could guess if they thought about it hard enough… 👀
There are also some comparisons on the Jedi genocide in the SW universe, and how it parallels the Air Nomad genocide in the ATLA universe pretty much to a T in terms of how fast it all happens in one day, and also how any survivors were hunted down and lured out with relics of their own culture, not to MENTION just the fact that both of these cultures are just non-western inspired in general (seriously, what is with people and killing monks in Temples? Lol. 🤷♀️😂). It’s also just an interesting comparison in general, because where the ATLA fandom usually is quite sympathetic to the Air Nomad genocide, on the other hand, the SW fandom is so nauseatingly nonchalant and cruel about the Jedi Order’s genocide that it’s almost downright weird. It’s almost like the SW fandom has this THING about never calling the Jedi’s “Fall 🙄” what it actually was—a horrific genocide. I swear to Godddd, SW fandom must be allergic to the word. 😂🤦♀️
I also threw in the ‘Hero’s journey’ thing I’ve been using for Melanie to try and make her a relatable protagonist, while also still having her own character arc along with Anakin’s. It was really important to me that she had her OWN arc away from Anakin, and that she had more connections and relationships in the SW universe than just him. Not only does it weaken her character if she had been made to be all about HIM, but it also just makes a certain… choice… 👀… with The Shopkeeper (her antagonist who parallels Palpatine, Anakin’s antagonist) hit all the more harder, because saving the ENTIRE GALAXY isn’t even about saving ANAKIN at all for her. Not at first, anyway.
Instead, from the very beginning, it’s all about how Melanie grows to care and feel compassion for the people she meets in the SW universe and becomes friends with, and how she cannot turn away from them and leave them behind to die, when she has knowledge that can help change their fates. It was SO important to me that Anakin is not even on Mel’s RADAR at first. She doesn’t hate him or anything. She doesn’t want him dead, but it’s not really about SAVING him either (if that happens along the way, it’s a happy bonus for her). Because—as you know—she’s TERRIFIED of him in the beginning, and just plans to avoid him like the plague.
And in doing so, she grows closer to others in the SW universe: Ahsoka, Rex, Yoda, Fives, Obi-Wan, all of the other clones, etc. ALL of that is so important for a certain choice she makes with The Shopkeeper (which I won’t spoil for any new readers who may stumble across this post and want to read my work 👀😂).
So, essentially, my fic is a grand, epic tale, that our main protagonist, Melanie Bains, is going on to save millions of lives in a galaxy far, far away from death and suffering.
No pressure, huh? 😂😬
That’s definitely going to crack and fracture at Mel’s psyche as time goes on… 🥶 The weight of such a feat on one’s shoulders essentially all alone becomes overwhelming. 😓💔 (*Cough* Hint for next chapter? 👀 *cough*).
So I’m really trying to follow that ‘Hero’s journey’ format. I already have her character arc outlined with a clear beginning and end. I just have to find the will to write the thousands and thousands of words to get there to that point. 😩😭😂
It still makes me so happy how many people relate and enjoy Mel. 😌🥹❤️💓🥰
Some planned themes I am going to weave in as the story goes along:
Example 1: Genocide
Air Nomad genocide propaganda from ATLA:
Jedi Order genocide propaganda (Not sure if it’s from before or after Order 66. Either way, it’s meant to rile the populace up against them and demonize the Jedi as ‘other’, like emotionless wizards that are barely human and aren’t capable of true compassion since they’re a ‘cult’ and not from ‘true’ familial structures, unlike the ‘good ol’ regular populace with their attachments 🤪’) from SW:
Example 2: Church factions splitting up/The Great Schism of 1054
Example 3: Hero’s Journey (Mel’s character arc)
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… Now, moving past that long meta ramble, here’s some more songs from my playlist on Wattpad for Melakin’s developing romantic relationship and it’s slow, slow burnnnn. 👀💓❤️🔥😂
Borderline by Florrie
Let Me In by Michael Corcoran
The Chain by Ingrid Michaelson
Minefields by Faouzia & John Legend
Unlike the previous songs in the earlier part of this meta post, THESE songs are more about Melakin struggling to open up to each other. I’ll admit, a lot of it is more focused on Anakin trying to get Melanie to open up to him, because he doesn’t understand why she’s acting so terrified of him at first.
The one song that’s more about both of them trying to find common ground is “Borderline”, which is meant to be them both reaching out and trying to meet each other halfway. 😊🥰🥺❤️💕
And if you’re wondering what my favorite song is out of all of them?
It’s the “Innocence by Nathan Wagner” song. WITHOUT a doubt. It’s the PERFECT Melakin song that is basically what the whole arc of their relationship is supposed to be. 😭🥹❤️💔💕
Whew, that was a long post! So sorry about that. 😅😂🤷♀️ I just got really into talking about my fic and my writing process. I think this has even helped me with motivation! Losing hyperfixations is a bitchhhh. 😖😖
The only other thing I will add is this to hopefully ease your and everyone else’s minds: I may have to go on hiatuses every now and then because of writer’s block or a family/life problem like the recent one with my brother being in the hospital for a while. BUT! No matter WHAT, I will NEVER abandon this fic. It is literally gonna be my damn life’s work—I swearrrrr. 😖✊😂
To end this long SW meta off, I’m going to link another two great Pro Jedi SW meta posts from the wonderful Pro Jedi blog I mentioned earlier. Feel free to check it out if you want, because it’s a lot of Mel’s thoughts on the Jedi, and part of the problems she has to find a way to solve as the war goes on by trying to keep the Jedi in favor of the public’s eyes:
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To any new readers that stumble across this and are curious enough to check out my fic:
Tags:
@ensomniaa
@heartfairy
@fangirlteallie
@xreadersunite
@shoniwake
#star wars fanfiction#anakin skywalker fanfiction#sw rewrite the stars#sw rewrite the stars fanart#SW OC: Melanie Bains#anakin skywalker x oc#anakin skywalker x reader#anakin skywalker/oc#anakin skywalker/reader#anakin skywalker imagines#pro jedi#in defense of the jedi#star wars#anakin skywalker#star wars the clone wars#anakin skywalker critical#pro jedi order#pro jedi culture#pro jedi council#jedi culture respected#star wars meta#star wars prequel trilogy#sw tcw fanfiction#isekai trope#falling into another world trope#SW Fic: Rewrite the Stars Meta#rewrite the stars asks#asks#star wars rewrite the stars#rewrite the stars
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I'm curious. What is the one thing you don't want to happen? /I read tags
lfkjdhkljfhk I was actually just debating whether or not to make a post about this! 😂
I don't normally express my *opinions* on Lizzie and Lizzie x Tommy here because I absolutely hate the feeling of raining on other people's parades, but I don't think that this really counts as bashing, so I'm just gonna leave it here and put it under a cut so those who don't agree can just scroll on by. This is just my opinion, guys! No hard feelings or anything if you feel differently!
I really don't want Tommy and Lizzie to get back together in the movie.
Lizzie's character went through so much development in finally accepting that Tommy can't be who she wants him to be and breaking free from him, and I feel like it would be a massive disservice to both characters, but particularly her, to force them back together. That storyline was closed pretty definitively at the end of season 6, and I honestly don't think that there's time to be reopening and focusing on it when we've only got about 3 hours max to work with as far as runtime. And there are just so many other aspects of the story that I think would be far more interesting to explore.
She was so miserable the entirety of their marriage, and deserves to be free of the Shelbys and their bullshit and to either be happy on her own with Charlie or go find that nice, normal man that she so badly wanted Tommy to be post season 4, and finally have some peace and happiness.
And Tommy deserves to not be locked in a marriage with someone who only loves the fantasy of him that she's projected onto him, or to be weighted down by feeling like he's failed her by not being able to be someone he's not. I think that they could be happy co-parenting Charlie together, but outside of that, I really feel like they should go their separate ways.
I always had the interpretation that Ruby was the only thing holding them together. And that the moment she died, so did their marriage, effectively. I do think that they cared for each other, but I don't think either of them really were in love with the other (as mentioned above, I think even Lizzie only loved her fantasy of Tommy, and not who he actually was). And by the end they both just seemed to bitter and resentful of each other. So it's really hard for me to root for them to end up together.
Anyway, I've always gotten the feeling that most people in the fandom strongly feel like they are *the* couple of the show and are passionately in love and should be together, so I shall now go hide under a rock to avoid the barrage of shouting likely to commence in my comments and inbox 🙃
#lily replies#peaky blinders#anti lizzie stark#not really but imma tag it as such just in case#tommy shelby#nova 🖤
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Bruuuuh, just finished ep 8 of aaa, can't wait to watch ep 9... In 3-4 hours after work 😭😭
All I wanna say, I excuse all of Agatha's war crimes. She never did anything wrong, hands down.
ANYWAY, QUICK SPOILER-Y THOUGHTS ABOUT E8 UNDER THE CUT:
I just... Love how everyone was like: Teen is Billy! Rio is Death! Billy/Teen/William made the Road same way Wanda put Westview under a spell.
And for all of these I was like "Oh, yeah. Makes sense. Anyway, I don't believe until I see.... 🙃🙃
Also. Confession time: I didn't think Jen's an interesting character, tbh. Only started appreciating her sass in ep 7 and now in ep 8. I'm ashamed of myself. Thoo, I was starting to believe she would really have a bigger role. What was that?
On this trail of thoughts. Jen and Billy/etc discussing Agatha and Rio's relationship? DIED (like Agatha). They really said the stuff people had been saying out here all week.
Idk why I was surprised Rio and Agatha are so toxic.... I KNEW THEY ARE.
But ngl, I really, really felt bad for Agatha. She... She really hated Rio. By the end, I wasn't sure if I wanted to see that kiss... :/
Still happy we got it, thoo.
Despite everything. Rio. The woman creature, you are!
She did love Agatha and wanted her dead so she'd be with her, huh? She was sooo hurt.
Also, again. KNEW IN THE END IT'LL BE A CHOICE BETWEEN BILLY AND AGATHA!
And omggg, I was right! Agatha's never walked on the Road before, lol. Because everyone else was right and it's a scam, it doesn't exist.
Love how she played along, thoo.
Back to what I said about Agatha's war crimes excused??? Yeah, laughed soooo much when I heard she's the one who did this to Jen. Awful but. Come onnnn. Crazy woman. I LOVE HER.
And the whole "idea" of the Road is that you get what you want and... Then you die?! I mean... Sorta poetic.
Ughh. Agatha's ending :/ Saw it coming, still sad. Good ending, though. And well. We got that Aharhario kiss. BUT AT WHAT PRICE!? Rio seemed sad too... Was chasing Agatha around her crazy type of foreplay?
Love how she made her corpse flowers.
Is it bad it was so bitter yet I still ship them? Probably. Now I know I'm not only into milfs but batshit crazy people too.
And Billy's ending??? Honeyyy. EVERYTHING FROM THE ROAD WAS IN YOUR ROOM. YOU DIDN'T FIND IT STRANGE?!
And that laugh in the end?? Whaat??
One last thing before I'm late for work!
KNEW THE ROAD GAVE ME WIZARD OF OZ VIBES WITH THE PATH!
#agatha x rio#agatha all along#aaa#mcu#marvel#spoilers#billy maximoff#jen kale#bruhhh#probs had 100 more things to say but forgot
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The filling that fell out almost a year ago has finally come back to haunt me... could hardly sleep last night cus my face hurt so bad. TWO naproxen didn't even touch the pain. (Tho that's nothing new tbh). Don't want a long aas post clogging up anyone's dash, so rest is under the cut.
Also didn't proof read this super well cus now that I'm not as sore I'm getting sleepy cus I didn't sleep much last night so if it's a Lil choppy I apologize lol.
Over the years, I noticed pain meds never really worked, so I didn't bother with them. The option was to take the max dose, or potentially more to get relief, but doing that consistently was just not something i was down for. But at the dentist for the filling that fell out more recently, dude dipped into multuple syringes of the lidocaine, and had to numb the nerve in the hinge of my jaw for me to not feel him digging around in my face.
Found the same when I had an iud inserted, took meds before as instructed, even brought a joint lmao. As well as going for the discomfort of that giant ass 10g needle stabbed into my cervix, and it did NOTHING... I've got a fairly high pain tolerance, but I stg I had a better time when I had all 4 wisdom teeth removed at once... and those were ALL infected, two were impacted, and when treating said infection, I had a freak reaction to the amoxicillin for the first time in my life... go me...
ANYWAY, shit I tried off Google and how it worked...
Sensitivity toothpaste rubbed into my gums/teeth helped a very short time. Sent the bf for orajel the next morning n honestly it worked about as well as the toothpaste, just for longer.
Also strongly mint?? Like specifically just peppermint antacid in my mouth helped rhe ache?? Apparently it's a thing lol. Honestly was just looking for a distraction from the ache n felt like the minty feeling might help.
Salt water rinse helped a little too. Did a rinse but a VERY gentle swish, better to puff out your cheeks and roll your head back n forth. Kinda burns but it will help kill any infection as long as it's minor.
Had some tea earlier on with sage, lemon balm, clove and rosemary. As all of them have geberal anti inflammatory or anti bacterial properties. Weirdly another tip I found was just a damp black tea bag placed against the affected area, actually felt FANTASTIC but the downside was it made my spit SUPER bitter if I swallowed it, so my option was wanting to gag at how gross it was, or be in pain... and obviously couldn't sleep with it in there cus that would be dangerous. Might try just drinking some black tea or brewing the black tea with the other herbs for some extra kick, no honey sadly but I'll have to deal with the bitterness.
Acetaminophen worked a lot better than the naproxen here. Was told by a Dr for a different pain I was in, that I COULD take them together tho (as in one of each), but since the naproxen didn't seem to do fuck all I'm gonna just do 2x extra strength Acetaminophen. Which also isn't ideal long term, but I CANNOT sleep with the pain I'm in so for a temporary situation I'm just gonna have to drink extra water or sum...
Other option is the T3 I had leftover after my tooth removal, had some ibuprofen too but left those when I moved away from fam. I'd rather take an extra Tylenol than the codeine tbh. Just feels a Lil less harsh on the system.
Fingers crossed the boyfriends work insurance goes thru so I can get this delt with... otherwise I might have to just have to be in pain to give my organs a break from all the drugs 🙃 gonna try my netti pot to hopefully clear any gunk out my sinuses as the ear on that side is a Lil plugged too (tip. Take a deep breath, close mouth, plug nose, and swallow. Works WAY better than plugging your nose and blowing).
#aprincessofthevoid speaks#me#teeth#fillings#bleh#vent#rant#dental health#dental care#words#herbal remedies
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It might just be me but I'm started to get tired of how Juinichi Kanemaru gets the shaft in these discussions about Sonic's VA, I get they don't speak Japanese so they don't understand it but I feel the fact he's been Sonic since forever should warrant a bit of consideration.
I would defend the poll because it didn't ask your favorite VA, it asked what VA you "hear" when you imagine Sonic speaking. And admittedly, since in my mind Sonic speaks English, I don't hear Kanemaru automatically lol.
But I don't want to defend the poll because they included Penny Parker among all those official VAs and she's super winning which fills me with despair about the status of the Sonic fandom :^) really. A fan among official VAs? Whose contribution to the series can't be even called fanfiction because her dubs are Sonic in name only? Yeah at this point why didn't you include Kanemaru, who has been the Sonic voice for 25 years? Longer than most of the people who voted have been alive, I'm sure?
yes i'm bitter and in a bitchy mode because i'm a tar pit why do you ask 🙃
Anyway. Junichi Kanemaru is a national treasure and he deserves all the love <3
youtube
how does my man still achieve perfection. did he encapsulate his vocal chords in amber or what
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do you have advice on how to stop being bitter over not having a gf? I’ve tried dating apps but they’re really bad. Especially with the queer shit lately, it’s all been a mess. I’ve become very frustrated and bitter over being single. I had a “situationship” fail, she didn’t want to do online dating and frankly she ended up being borderline toxic anyway but I still wish things could’ve worked out for us. Especially since finding a gf has been really difficult for me. Ppl my age mid 20s are super immature and nonbinary or yk other stuff. I know I’m going to be single for a while (realistically speaking, none of this “you could meet your soulmate tomorrow” b.s.) I come from a homophobic af family so I had a lot of internalized homophobia I’ve struggled w and honestly staying single w no other gay ppl in general to talk this out with has been making me go back into those dark days.
Hi anon :D
I've been single for a long time as well, so we're in the same boat! I feel like finding a woman to date in your early 20s was also difficult before all the queer/nb nonsense, for most of college my only prospects were bicurious women who wanted to hookup with me to experiment. I was happy to finally enter my 30s so most of these women would be married and stop annoying me, but with the return of political lesbianism they're in all age groups now 🙃 Then in your 40s, 50s and beyond, you have to avoid the "late bloomer lesbians" (= confused bi women with a midlife crisis)! Is there even a time when it's fun for us to date?? I'm not sure.
It's important to remember that being single for a long time doesn't say anything about us, that doesn't mean that we're unlovable or failures. Plenty of good people (even among straight people!) struggle to date and hate dating apps. It's normal to be bitter about all the things you're missing because you're single (hanging out with another lesbian everyday, sharing good moments, support, physical affection, sex) but instead you could try gratitude exercises like listing advantages of being single (more free time, more time for friends and hobbies, you can decorate and organize your place the way you want it...) Beyond internalized lesbophobia, you can use that time to solve any insecurities, emotional baggage or trauma you might have that could cause problems in a future relationship.
Also I've said this already but I really want to insist: when society (and now the lgbtqiabcxyz+++) wants us to be miserable, lonely, and ashamed, we need to go out of our way to be self-indulgent and spend our time doing things that make us happy and fulfilled. You have a lot of free time, so instead of wallowing and doomscrolling, ask yourself: what can I do to make today a great day? Is it working out, calling/meeting with a friend, doing something creative, learning a new skill, finally finishing a video game, cooking a recipe you've always wanted to try? Even relaxing at the park for an hour or two without your phone so you're not sollicited at all can make you feel better! Don't wait until you have a girlfriend to live a happy life! :)
(... Also, if that's not done already, buy yourself a vibrator. You'll feel less miserable about being single if you can give yourself really good orgasms whenever you want haha)
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Can you believe it’s been two years since The Terrible Awful? Idk about you, but I still find myself feeling bitter and sad about the treatment of Liz’s character. As if it wasn’t bad enough that they completely f’d up the core relationship of the show 😔
*stares in shock, mouth agape, at the tiny number one in my ask box* It's been 84 years 🥹🥹🥹
HELLO, ANON!!! 😍😍 I'll get to the actual content of your lovely ask in just a sec, but first I just have to say my heart skipped a beat to see that I actually received a Lizzington ask in the year of our lord 2023!! It's been... a long-ass time, but asks were one of my favorite ways to participate in the fandom... so suffice it to say that this is a very welcome throwback. Thank you for taking the time 🥲
ANYWAY enough YAMMERING from CODA bc NO, anon, NO. I CANNOT believe it's been two years since The Terrible Awful. I mean, in some ways it feels like it & in others it most definitely does not, but most of all... I'm just sad so much time has passed & we've gone so long without Lizzington & the fandom has largely moved on... it's a desperately sad, nostalgic, yearning feeling & it sucks 😭 And omg, I too absolutely still feel bitter about how they treated Liz AND the core relationship of the show, you're definitely not alone there, anon!! I think it has something to do with the fact that the show is technically still going (although not for much longer whoop lolz) & I still occasionally see/hear things about the current state & it's pretty laughable. Plus, the impending end of the show (although it ended for us 2 years ago lolol) brings about - at least in me - some bittersweet feelings in a secondhand, disinterested kind of way... well, mostly bitter lmfao 🙃 So yeah, long story short (as if), I 1000% feel you, anon!! The wounds may have healed over with time, but the scars are still there... which sounds dramatic AF for a TV show but... sometimes it do be like that 🫠 Anyway, thank you so much for dropping by to leave this ask, anon!! As sad as it was, I was very happy to see it & know that someone out there still thinks of Lizzington occasionally & still thought enough of me & my stupid blog to send an ask my way!! I hope my commiserating made you feel a tad better & - if it helps at all - know that I'm working hard on a big, new Lizzington fic at the moment... because I'm not ready to let them go yet!! So, thanks again, anon, take care, & much love to you, my friend!! ❤️
#The Blacklist#Lizzington#Elizabeth Keen#Raymond Reddington#fanfic#Halcyon#mine#ask#anon#thank you for dropping by anon!!#my ask box is always open!!#much love!!#:)#<3
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New question! Which movies make the crews cry? If you ask me I'm already guessing that 'Everything everywhere all at once' is gonna make devil theory cry since it shows a loving relationship between a mother and child, and mother is actually willing to grow and learn as a person instead of just being a dick-
Your example definitely hits the nail on the head for my Devil Theory OCs! Basically anything like that in other movies is gonna get to them, even if they won't admit it. Though there's also a hint of bitterness too, like, "Oh look, a parent who admits they were wrong and becomes a better person for their kid! Sure wish my own folks could've done that!! 🙃"
I think Bel and Solace get kinda emotional during movies in general, like they end up sympathizing/emphasizing with the characters very easily. So then crying ensues if something bad happens to said characters.
Other than that... honestly can't think of much else for other specific characters! I guess generally just movies that tend to make people cry anyways. Dramatic tragedies where one person in a relationship dies near the end, a beloved pet dying, etc.
Also probably something like Grave of the Fireflies. Because like... it's about an already depressing subject matter, to say the very least. ;o;
#bomb rush cyberfunk#brc headcanons#bomb rush cyberfunk headcanons#Wren Answers#Wren's BRC Headcanons
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How does Tom handle Kate being pregnant because I figure the answer is, uhm, not well 🙃 Especially as she gets more and more pregnant and he can't deny it in his mind anymore
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I can only imagine how much of his shit Tom loses when Kate announces she and Yelena are having a baby. I feel like he shows up piss poor drunk at there place. And of course he’s got some choice words for Yelena who’s just trynna be cool. Wonder if Kate ever heard him talking about his shit and she just casually slips in “Yeah, she’s the best I’ve ever had.” To get him to shut the fuck up
///
Okay so I got a lot of variations of these two asks. You guys are always asking for "Part 2" but this is...a prequel lol. This is two weeks before Ri's 9th birthday party which you got some time last week. I think it gives a little context for where everyone was at mentally at that party and what set some things in motion. Anyway...here is 5.1k of...“How A Bitter Ex Ruins A Baby Shower”...bookended with fluff because I’m my 2023 resolution is to be nicer to you lol It’s definitely like a 2:1 ration of fluff to angst because...again...look at me being nice.
---
Yelena feels Kate's lips gliding up her shoulder past her neck and land on her earlobe. When they reach their destination, Kate’s teeth barely graze the skin before she pulls with a soft, playful bite and whispers.
"Your alarm started ringing twelve minutes ago. It was really getting on my nerves, so I turned it off. Wake up. We have so much to do today. We NEED to be ready and out the door by 9:30." Yelena grins into her pillow but refuses to open her eyes. "I know you're awake...No? Shame because Ri is somehow still asleep and these hormones have my sex drive through the roof. Woke up drenched. But I guess no one’s around to help me take care of the problem." Kate flips onto her back. And she waits. "No one? Not one person around?" Yelena finally peeks over her shoulder and back at her wife with sleepy eyes and a devilish smile. "Took you long enough. I'm so horny and I think she has MAYBE fifteen more minutes of sleep left in her, so we gotta be quick." Yelena's smile grows, but she doesn't move. "What?! What are you looking at?! Since when does my wife turn down ANY opportunity for sex? I'm handing it willingly. Don't even have underwear on. Zero obstacles in your way."
Yelena cackles while rolling over and using her elbow to hover over her wife.
"I got my period last night."
"Yeah, well..." Kate throws the cover off herself, revealing her taut eight-month pregnant belly. "...I clearly didn't. You can do me. Besides, you know I don't care. Wouldn't be the first time we've been there, done that."
Yelena sleepily chuckles anew and bends down to dotingly kiss the brunette.
"I feel like shit, love. Truly like someone ran me over. Can I get a rain check? I can get you something from the closet. To...help with “the problem”. Can't have my wife walking around unsatisfied. More than happy to watch. Would make my morning, actually."
Kate pouts and pulls Yelena down to her, forcing the blonde to nuzzle into her neck.
"No. I wanted you. Boooooooo."
"I'm sorry."
"You definitely owe me."
"You can cash in anytime I don't feel like my insides are being torn with shears."
"Did you take anything?"
"Yeah. Cramps kept me up half the night. I took something like three hours ago but hasn’t really helped."
Kate lifts Yelena's head to survey her face.
"Why didn't you wake me up?!"
"What the hell would I do that for?"
"So I could keep you company? Rub your tummy?"
"I'm not eight, baby. That works on Ri, not me."
"You don't know that."
Yelena smiles and lies back on Kate's chest. In response, Kate envelops her in an intimate embrace, pulling her in as close and tight to her body as she can muster. Yelena rests her hand on Kate’s exposed belly and caresses it. The baby promptly responds to the touch, stretching out, leaving the little imprint of a limb poking through the strained skin. Yelena drags her fingers over and ghosts her digits over the same spot.
"So close," Yelena mutters while Kate runs her fingertips through the slept-on, blonde braid trying to break it loose.
"I know."
"Five weeks...Feels like forever but not enough at the same time...Are you as scared as I am?"
"Terrified." They both laugh. "You wanna know what makes me feel better?" Yelena 'hmmms' and tilts her head to make eye contact with Kate. "Getting to hold a tiny thing with your face." Kate traces the contour of Yelena's face with the tip of her index finger. "And your nose." Then the bridge of her nose. "And your lips." Then the outline of her lips. "And your eyes. I can't wait. Terrified but so excited."
They opted to use Yelena's egg for the pregnancy Kate is carrying. It's how they both get to be a part of the baby's gestation. If they ever decide to have a second child, Yelena will carry a baby conceived with Kate's egg and sperm from the same donor they used for this baby. That is their way of ensuring their children are blood-related. Not that it would have mattered to them at all if they were or not. But it was a small thing they thought made it extra special.
"But you have...Ri. You say we look the same all the time."
"You know what I mean."
"Yeah."
A piercing clanking coming from the kitchen abruptly rumbles through the house. Eight-year-old Ereka is awake and on the prowl.
"Hurricane Ereka. Category 5. Alert!" Yelena jokes.
"One of us has to go make sure she isn't burning the place down."
"Uhum."
Neither of them moves.
"Yel..."
Yelena whines.
"I'm comfortable for the first time in hours! We invested in a top-of-the-line fire system for a reason. Something would be beeping or shrieking by now if she was setting something on fire."
"Is that what we're doing? Delegating childcare to AI or whatever that thing is?"
"It cost thirty grand! The least it could do is watch our kid for half an hour while I nap on your limited edition, extra comfy boobs for a bit."
The distinct crack of something large and fragile shattering and exploding into a million pieces in the distance forces an involuntary sigh out of Kate.
"THAT ONE DEFINITELY BROKE!"
They hear the almost nine-year-old Ereka holler from the kitchen, already tinting her voice with shades of ignorance as to what could have possibly happened.
"DO NOT MOVE AN INCH! MOMMA'S COMING!"
Kate shouts in response while pushing Yelena off her and the bed.
"Why am I the mom on duty?!"
"Because you’re the mom with pants on. There’s glass everywhere, she can’t stay still for more than three seconds, and I’m now moving at the speed of molasses." Yelena grunts and begrudgingly heads for the door. "Oh, and babe, you should look into getting a refund on those thirty grand. That thing is a terrible nanny."
Yelena playfully flips her wife off on her way out the door.
"Ri, what the frick are you doing in the kitchen by yourself?!" Yelena admonishes the girl as she runs to her.
Kate can vividly envision the guiltless, ostensibly angelic face Ereka will be making when Yelena walks into the kitchen. Kate is also well aware that “wasn’t me” face will be Ereka's "get out of jail" card even though she is quite literally standing at the crime scene. Yelena is putty in that child’s hands, Ereka knows this, and sometimes takes advantage of that knowledge to walk away scot-free if Yelena is the one supposed to be dishing out consequences to actions.
---
Kate became fixated on the idea that she wanted her baby shower on a rooftop, by a pool, with a picturesque city skyline view. The three things individually? Perfectly doable. Together? IN NEW YORK CITY? IN LATE AUGUST?! Damn near impossible. Not happening.
Thankfully for Kate, she has a filthy rich mother, an unwavering wife, and a Type A elite event planner for the stars hired by the aforementioned women. The event planner is there to make each and every one of Kate’s obstinate, affluent, hormonal girl fantasies come true. Truthfully, she’s also there so Yelena and Eleanor can survive this with their sanity intact and that doesn't have a price tag. The family has two large social events essentially back to back this month, and if they can get someone else to handle Kate and her needs related to those things, everyone will be better for it. So hire an event planner they did and off Kate went...
One of Eleanor's friends knows someone who knows someone who could make the call to give them the okay to shut down the hotel’s rooftop pool Kate fell in love with for a day. Eleanor wrote a blank check and threw caution to the wind. Susan has made it clear she is never having children and Kate has been exceedingly vocal that this was it for her, so if Eleanor is only paying for one baby shower in her life, it will be a grand ol' time.
The theme Kate went with for the event is a “classy summer tea party”. The tables are set with authentic vintage British china and silverware. A tea sommelier makes personal recommendations on which tea to choose from the endless assortment of top-shelf global teas and then brews cups for each guest. Silver cake stands overflow with scones, sandwiches, mini cakes, patisseries, and jams from the best pastry chefs in the city. The kaleidoscopic flower and balloon arrangements put most weddings to shame. The women are expected to wear floral dresses and fancy hats to match the theme.
While the official baby shower only runs from 11-2PM, they've closed down the entire rooftop and pool area until 8PM. Whoever wants to stay and hang out, swim, have drinks, or watch the sunset over dinner is more than welcome to do so. Male friends and partners are also invited to swing by in the afternoon.
Unlike most traditional showers, this venue has no pink or blue in sight. Kate and Yelena decided not to find out the gender of the baby. At least, that's what they’ve told everyone. No one, not a soul, knows that they know. It’s been easier that way.
Since Ereka could form sentences, she's been asking for a little sister. It's been incessant, well beyond the point of evolving into a full-fledged nuisance. When they decided to start trying, they kept it from the little girl. IVF can be a long, arduous process and adding her to the mix was merely going to complicate an already physically and emotionally draining circumstance further. It’s why they decided to keep her in the dark. Kate and Yelena went through a few failed rounds, then...success. When Kate is far enough along that they feel it prudent to share the big news, when they tell Ereka she’s finally going to be a big sister, Kate and Yelena don't think they've ever seen that child any happier. She hasn't come down from cloud eleven since. Ereka talks about her little sister to anyone who will listen. Problem is...Ereka's “little sister” is actually...a little brother. The ultrasound tech saw that penis clear as day on Kate's fourteen-week ultrasound and they've triple-checked on every appointment ever since. At this point, it'd be an act of god if that baby wasn't born with a penis because they've looked at it from every angle at Kate and Yelena's behest and it’s always there.
Kate and Yelena have more or less been living in modest denial and trying to will the willy away, as they strongly feel that extra and unexpected bit of anatomy will not go down well with their daughter. It's more than a strong feeling. They know that with certainty and are endeavoring to put off sharing the information for as long as possible. None of this means they're being irresponsible about their approach. As the birth becomes imminent and the truth harder to conceal, they've begun consulting a family therapist to gradually help them lay the groundwork for when the baby comes and they ultimately have to detonate this bomb on the unsuspecting and eager eight-year-old.
---
The Bishop-Belova trio exit the elevator on the top floor of the ostentatious five-star Brooklyn hotel negligibly late at 11:13AM. Depending on which of them you ask, they'll each blame someone different for the tardiness.
Kate wears a yellow fitted dress with thin straps, a crossover cutout detail that gives a baby bump peek, and a v-neckline that Yelena is quite fond of. This outfit is not at all a “classy tea party” look, but at the very last minute, Kate isn’t feeling the dress she bought for the party and decides she needs to change. If you ask Yelena, this is the reason why they’re late.
When Kate tells Yelena she has to choose a yellow statement piece since that's what she and Ereka are doing, Yelena agrees. Easy enough. Yelena initially wears a light yellow button-down with a navy suit and yellow pocket square. Yelena likes the look. It’s a solid look. She thinks she might even look rather attractive in it. Kate, not so much. Kate flips and makes her wife change the suit because "Blue is for boy. You're being too obvious." and Yelena has to change. That's how Yelena lands on her current very bland and gender-neutral combination of: yellow shirt, a tan blazer, and khakis. If you ask Kate, Yelena having to change is the reason why they’re late.
Before they step into the madness of greeting, mixing, and mingling, Kate knows she needs a quiet moment with Yelena. She taps Ereka’s shoulder blade and jostles her towards the doors that lead to the roof and pool.
“Go find grandma and Suzu. We’ll be right there.”
They watch her go and once the girl has disappeared past the glass doors, Kate pulls her wife into one of the indoor private cabanas behind them and quickly pecks her lips, then runs her thumb over them to wipe her lipstick off.
"The main thing is only three hours, then most people you have murderous fantasies about are going to leave and the people you can somewhat tolerate will stay. You like Greer.”
“Greer’s fine. She’s funny. Sometimes.”
“Exactly. So I made sure you’re sitting next to her. It’s a few silly games, pictures, jokes, ha ha ha, people, joy. All so unfamiliar and very terrible. I know. But you're not going to die. You'll make it. I promise. I love you more than life. Just roll with it. They're not laughing at you; they're laughing with you."
"I'm only here for you."
Kate kisses Yelena once more and speaks against her lips.
"I know."
"No, I'm not saying it to guilt trip you or something. I'm just saying I wouldn't do this shit for anyone else. That's how much I love you."
"I know. I know. You're a grouch, but you're my grouch." Yelena grunts and rolls her eyes. "I truly do love that you’re a ‘get off my lawn’ eighty-year-old man trapped in this young body." Kate cops a feel of Yelena’s ass and squeezes it. "Big fan of the сексуальный русский [sexy Russian] body."
"I should’ve never taught you how to say that."
"I did insist.”
"You did...And I’m not THAT big of a grouchy old man."
"Baby...you LITERALLY chased kids off our lawn the other day. Literally."
"That thing they were playing with was ripping the grass out! I still have to talk to Javier and see if it’s okay or if we’re going to have to mow the whole thing down and wait for it to regrow evenly.”
"Okay, Grandpa Cyrus. I think it’s time for your meds."
"Weren’t you just trying to grope Grandpa Cyrus?"
"Listen, Grandpa, you’re very hot and I’m very horny. You have no idea. I don’t know how you have clothes on right now. I could be tearing them off with my teeth."
Yelena hangs her head back laughing.
"That’s not tea party behavior, love."
"I’m well aware. Part of the reason why you’re not naked right now.”
"Let's get it over with then. Sooner you get me home, sooner you can take my clothes off."
Yelena places her hand on the small of Kate's back, and gently nudges her, guiding her to the door.
"That's the spirit! We'll get you a drink first because I'm a good wife. I'd never make you do this sober. I know who I married."
Guests are already milling about and cheer for them when they make their grand, if ever so slightly shameful, delayed entrance.
---
About an hour and a half later, the function is in full swing. So far, they've managed to play the infamous blind diaper changing game, “Songs With Baby In The Title”, and "How Old Was She?" featuring the most embarrassing photos of Kate and Yelena that Eleanor and Alexei could dredge up.
They're currently in the midst of "You're Craving WHAT?!". Kate's cravings have been LUDICROUS this pregnancy. Yelena figured that if she has had to put up with them, it is only fair for everyone else to do so too. Guests get blindfolded and sample some of the things Kate's been willingly putting in her mouth, then try to guess what's in them. This is the only game that didn't make Yelena’s body fill with dread when she thought about this day the last few weeks, perhaps because she came up with it. She may be a baby shower game genius because, unlike the previous ones, this one hasn't brought her to the edge of suicide even once in the last fifteen minutes. Hard to admit, but...she could conceivably be having a good time.
"KATE, WHAT IS THIS?!" Kate’s blindfolded friend inquires while toiling to chew the sickening blend currently destroying her taste buds.
"Cottage cheese, clementines, spicy ahi tuna, and chocolate milk," Yelena reveals with a delighted grin.
Kate's work friend gags violently and spits the mush onto a napkin.
"My mouth is watering. Hand it over. So good." Kate extends her hand and the cup with the foul concoction starts to make its way down to her.
"That baby is coming out and first thing it's going to do is ask you to say sorry, Kate. The hell...I'm finding out things about you I didn't want to know. What do you mean you've been making my niece eat pulled pork with frosting and alfredo sauce?! That's jail time!" Greer chimes in and the table roars with laughter.
"KitKat, you look so beautiful."
"DADDY!"
The guests turn to find the source of the voice coming from behind them. Before Kate can hold her, Yelena is already on her feet and stamping toward a visibly intoxicated Tom.
Kate exchanges a furtive glance with Susan, who understands and takes firm hold of Ereka, preventing the girl from going after them.
"Dude..."
The distance between where Yelena sat and Tom stands isn’t inconsiderable, yet she reaches him in what seems like a blink. Once she’s in front of him, she continuously rams her open palms across his chest until she’s thrust his body inside, away from everyone.
"Do you have mental problems? Is that the issue here? Do we need to have you committed?"
Kate finally reaches them and jerks Yelena away from Tom. Kate glares at Tom and points at the side door that leads to a small adjacent room filled with a few tables and loungers.
"Go over there." When he starts walking, Kate turns her attention back to her wife. “Let me handle it.”
“You always ‘handle it’ and we still have the issue.”
“I’ll handle it.”
After a beat, Yelena attempts to force herself past Kate. Kate drives her back.
“I’m going over there.”
“If you go over there, I’m afraid you’ll kill him.”
“Exactly. Problem solved forever.”
Kate doesn't even dignify that with a response. She simply steps away and walks to where Tom waits, leaving the door ajar.
“No.”
“KitKat.”
“No.”
“CupKate.”
“No. We’re not doing this today.”
“KaterTot.”
“I probably always hated that one the most. You have to go home.”
“I don’t even care that it’s another man’s baby...”
That incenses Kate.
“It’s not ‘some other man’s baby’! It’s Yelena’s baby!”
“...I’ll raise it...Oh come on! We both know that’s not true!”
“There’s more to being a parent than DNA.”
“Spare me the gay agenda bullshit. There’s a mom and there’s a dad. That’s how babies are made. THAT is some random guy’s baby...” Tom softens up again. “...and I’m totally fine raising it. I want to! I don’t even care! It can be the four of us.”
“I’ve fucking had it with you. I’ve had it. How did you even find out where we were?...Did you text Ri?!...Leave her out of this. Leave her out of it. There’s no reason she should be mixed up in this.”
“I think she should have a say in whether she wants mommy and daddy to be together.”
Kate closes her eyes and takes a centering breath. She refuses to allow herself to lose her cool on this man. Not for his sake, but because she knows if she does, she’s going to go ballistic and it wouldn’t be healthy for her baby.
“Kids don’t get a say in adult matters. Especially not on ones that aren’t a fucking possibility, Thomas.”
Kate expresses with as much composure as she can summon.
“They could be IF YOU STOPPED BEING SO FUCKING STUBBORN AND STUPID!”
Tom leans in to scream in Kate’s face. Yelena's been watching through the door crack and he got much too close to Kate for Yelena's comfort. She’s done waiting. Yelena stomps over, bursts through with such force that the door ricochets off the wall, and grabs Tom by the arm without saying a word, dragging him behind her.
“Yel...Yelena.”
“Let me fucking go.”
Tom fights back, but Yelena’s grip on his arm is iron tight. She continues to wordlessly drag him to the elevator with Kate hot on their tail.
“Yelena, I was handling it.”
Tom aggressively shoves Yelena trying to get her to loosen her grip and that’s her tipping point. That’s her last straw. Her martial arts training kicks in and she swipes his legs, sending him to the floor with a thud. He whines pathetically on impact.
“Give me one good reason for why I shouldn’t beat your ass right now. Just one. Because I can come up with plenty for why I should.”
Kate pulls Yelena back away from him and glares at her.
“Stop! Stop it.” Kate turns to Tom. "Please leave. Please. Please. PLEASE. I don't want you here. We can talk some other day. Please. We’ll talk. Just go."
"Okay, KitKat." Tom gets on his feet and walks over to Kate. Yelena steps between them and they have a staredown but being much taller allows him to lean above her and place a wet kiss on Kate's cheek regardless. "We can talk another day."
He calmly heads for the elevator and his eyes don't leave Kate and her body until the elevator arrives and he steps on it.
"'We can talk some other day'?! THAT'S THE SHIT THAT FUCKING FEEDS HIS DELUSION, KATE? WHAT THE FUCK?!"
"Is he gone or not?"
Kate flings back coldly.
"Until you let me and him beat the shit out of each other, I feel like we'll have a problem. I'm a jiu-jitsu brown belt. Why do you think I can't take him?"
Kate steps up to Yelena, directly to her face. At least as close as her pregnant stomach will allow her to get.
"I don't give A FUCK if you can give him a black eye or break his arm or not. I'm sure you could. That's irrelevant. You are a licensed attorney. You catch a charge, we have a problem. A big problem. You think he doesn't know that? You think he wouldn't LOVE that? He works with his family. He can be angry, and obsessed, and delusional, and slowly become an alcoholic all he wants. He's never getting fired. His last name is on the business cards, on the trucks, on the warehouses. What are you not getting?"
"Then let me talk to my dad. He'll make some calls. It'll actually be handled."
Yelena shrugs, nonplussed. Kate backs away, head shaking with incredulity.
"For the sake of our marriage, I'm gonna pretend you didn't just threaten to have Alexei’s crazy Russian mafia buddies kill my daughter's father."
"I didn't say kill. Never said kill."
"Please stop talking."
Kate bites back curtly. Yelena becomes irate.
"Then what do you want me to fucking do?! What do you want me to do? Because I can't keep standing by while he treats you like shit, treats her like shit, and makes our lives fucking miserable. You ask me to let you ‘handle it’, but nothing ever changes. You won't let me beat the shit out of him and you won't let me get guys who will, so what do you want me to do? Tell me because I don't fucking know what to do anymore, Kate." Yelena's shoulders sag and in an instant, she shifts from livid to defeated. "I don't know what to do, but I can't keep living like this. I don't want to...I don't want him to have to."
Kate approaches, holds Yelena's hand, and places it on her belly.
"I don't want that either...but..."
"Fuck, Kate. What? What is it? What excuse is it now?"
"The next few weeks are gonna be so crazy. Baby's coming soon. I want this to be about us. I don't wanna do anything that's going to send Tom into a spiral or do something crazy. Her party is in two weeks..."
Yelena cuts her off.
"Has he told you if he's coming or not?"
"No. And if he does..."
"I don't want him there."
"...IF HE DOES...I need you to be the bigger person. For her. That's her day. Not a day for you two to have a pissing contest."
"Why can’t you tell him not to come?"
"He's her dad and it's her birthday, Yel."
"So what?! If he makes our lives fucking hell...so what? When does it stop? When do we say enough?!"
"He's never gonna hurt anyone. He's...sad. That’s it."
"It's been YEARS. What the hell does he still have to be sad about? Go to fucking therapy and stop making it our problem...I can't listen to this again."
Yelena walks out.
"Yelena."
---
Kate steps out from the room to find Yelena hovering by the elevators, pressing the buttons furiously as if that'll make them go faster.
"What are you doing?"
"I feel awful, Kate. Cramps are fucking killing me. I just want to curl up and lie down."
"Please don't make me go back out there by myself."
"I feel like actual dirt and I would very much like to go home." Kate stares at her, silently pleading. "You know I won't be able to say 'no' if you ask me again. Please don't ask me because I want to leave."
DING! The elevator arrived.
"I won't ask, but I don't want you to go."
Kate utters shakily, barely above a whisper, tears threatening to fall. Yelena closes her eyes and locks her jaw. She grunts as the elevator doors start to move toward each other and rests her head against the cold metal of the door jamb once it’s fully closed and on its way back down.
"I feel like shit."
"I'm sorry. You can go. My mom and Suze are here. All my friends are here. It’s fine. Call it back up. You don’t have to stay."
Kate walks to her wife and hugs her sideways, pressing a kiss to her temple, and whispering into her ear.
"Go home. I love you."
Yelena shakes her head.
"It's fine. It's your day. It's baby boy's day. I can suck it up."
"Not true. It's your day too. We're a team."
"Doesn't feel like it sometimes."
Kate holds Yelena tighter.
"I meant it when I said ‘not right now’. It doesn't mean forever. Baby could come tomorrow or six weeks from now and I don't want chaos in the background whenever it happens. But..." Kate leans back to look at Yelena. "...as soon as we settle once he's here, let's get a lawyer. Tom loves to threaten with them all the time. Let's finally do it. We have witnesses. We have proof. We have nothing to lose. But I need you to give me a few months. I need these weeks to be about the three of us. Shut Tom out. He doesn't matter. We matter. Baby Russ matters. Okay? Give me thirty more minutes and then we can go home. Yeah? Deal?"
"Kate, you had them shut down this whole thing until eight. You can't go home at..." Yelena looks at her watch. "...one thirty. That's insane. It probably cost your mom like ten years worth of college tuition funds to do this."
Kate chuckles.
"She refuses to tell me."
"We're not going home. It's fine. I'll live."
"If you wanna leave, I won't stop you. But please don’t sneak out. At least tell me beforehand this time. I hate when you do that."
"Sure. Whatever. I'm fineeeee. Let's go." Yelena nudges Kate and they start walking, arm in arm, back to the outdoor area while talking. "It's our party. I don’t need to sneak out of my own party. I just need a drink. By now, people either think we died or are having the craziest sex somewhere."
"I'm not opposed to..."
"Not happening, Kate Bishop."
"That's me getting shut down for sex three times in one day. In case you're keeping track of the ones you owe me."
"I always pay my debts."
"I'm expecting you to."
The party faces are back on when they become visible to the guests through the glass doors. Isn’t all of life a performance anyway?
#I sandwiched our man Tom between fluff so you cant even complain#im being too nice to you lately#you once again walk away with a pain free ending#who am i becoming#what has 2023 done to me#who is this person#i dont like it#kymau#kymaup#anonymous#answers
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Sorry previous anon! Didn't see the excluding Ralf and Damon 😬
On that topic: I don't know if it's what everyone thinks I've never seen anyone discuss it, but my theory is that with Ralf and Jacques they are extra critical of charles because he's so beloved by tifosi and maybe they think this is somehow a threat to their legendary family members in the history of the team. Which is silly imo. Or a combination of that and the fact that them 2 never got a chance at ferrari and charles did despite basically being a rookie and is considered the golden boy so they hold that against him. With Damon, I just think he's a super carlos fan who's backed carlos early on in his career so now has to see that through.
Anyway, would love to know Jacques reaction to the tribute helmet because I'm sure it'll be a hot take
Damn anon, quick, what are the lotto numbers? 😭😭😭😭 That's some big brain seer energy 🔮
Ted on Sky comms said the Villeneuve family (aka Jacques lbr) were unhappy with the tribute helmet featuring Ferrari sponsor logos (which Charles can't do anything about, obviously) so in order to avoid exacerbating the situation he wasn't running it anymore today and presumably won't be for the remainder of the weekend. I think it's pretty clear that there was no ill intent behind it or any sort of desire to piggyback on Gilles for sponsor purposes - Charles's helmet designer even confirmed that the whole thing was his idea because he just wanted to pay tribute to a beloved former Ferrari driver. Imagine being so bitter 🙃🤐
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I made it back home last night. The wedding and reception were really charming and pleasant experiences and flying for the first time was fine, but staying with my family... 😒
Not that I'm bitter or anything, but...
Nothing was ready. The room hadn't been stayed in for weeks or months and was infested with stink bugs. They were even dead in the sheets. This isn't the first time we've come for a visit and had to deal with the room not being ready. One time there were mice in the room (and mice droppings in the bed 🙃), and another time there was no a/c unit even though it was like 95. We always find this out at like, midnight, too, so there's no time to go anywhere or do anything. The bathroom also wasn't cleaned at all and seems to have gone all winter that way.
My mom's health is extremely poor so it's not as if I'm blaming her, but my sister visits like...every weekend with her husband and my youngest brother visits sometimes too (and was the last person to stay in the usual room where he didn't even make the bed to keep bugs out of it)... At some point Neal and I just felt like second class citizens.
Worse, they told us that Friday this week they're headed off on vacation to go to Myrtle Beach. So there was time to plan a whole vacation that nobody ever mentioned to me once despite multiple phone conversations and text messages, but not enough time to do a few loads of laundry. Love that.
Anyway, I had enough. We got a hotel room first thing Friday morning and drove the 20 min to the house every day to visit.
I ended up with back pain so severe the second night I couldn't sleep (that was the fourth night in a row of almost no sleep) and had to rest on the floor and in the hotel desk chair to get any relief. So it was a terrible start to what was supposed to be a nice time.
Honestly if I wasn't in town for my other brother's wedding I would have turned right back around and gone home.
I wish they'd just said they didn't want to bother cleaning the room up for us or that they wouldn't have time. At least then we could have booked a hotel in advance and gotten a better price. The worst part is that my family is not passive aggressive; they're just always straight up aggressive and blunt.
It's almost like they forgot about us coming, but they didn't. They just didn't even think to go look at the room and make sure it was ok for us to stay in (even though the house is like 140 years old and falling apart at the seams).
The whole thing was really disheartening. I won't be going back for a while.
#/ personal post#it sure was fun spending way more to be there than for our own wedding#and being treated like that#two thousand dollars+ to go to ohio of all places#anyway...this was for my one brother and no one else
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Well. 🙃 this show was so good -not without fault mind you but it had something special-. Why did they ruin it... Anyway. Only s1 exists. I will not hear of the atrocious thing that does not even deserved to be called a story at all that dared to pose as the next seasons. I'm so bitter about what they did to this show. But season 1 was so special and I loved it so much and I don't want to lose that. So trying to rewatch it. Let's hope I can enjoy it without the bitterness and frustration of knowing how it was ruined winning.)
#Although the fandom of this show is maybe one of the worst fandom I ever saw#all the posturing and performative activisim... all the hate and actual harm done by the pple in it...#some niche groups/individuals are truly wonderful. It's the general fandom that is... something.#I do not recommend getting into it to anyone...#or even the show itslef tbh. Not with how badly it was messed up. They managed to do worst than GOT.)#I'm just waiting for my special interest to fully shift onto something else like Dragon age. Maybe Veilguard will do the trick#and finish my transition -started by solavellan- over to it and fully away from tua.#Maybe rewatching is not the best idea to get rid of it tho. I just felt the urge. Being too excited for veilguard I can't focus on anything#so I thought “eh why not?”
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