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zepskies · 1 day ago

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Lol YESSS I know you love a bit of angsty heartbreak. 😜 Thank you so much, friend! Can't wait to see what you thought of the penultimate chapter. 💖

Oh, Micheal is just such a lovely, lovely person, isn't he? 😒 In the words of Taylor Swift: Michael doesn't measure up in any measure of a man...

oh God yeah, perfect quote for this pos, honestly. 😣

Hahaha omfg I loved Sam so much during this chapter! He was awesome!!! Go Lawyer!Sam 😎🤎 (And I have no idea if you intended for my mind to jump to Changing Channels and French Mistake Sam with these lines, but it did, so THANK you 🤣🫶)

LMAO I'm deaddd - Sam in Changing Channels is exactly the cadence of all his lawyering/"agreeing" with Michael to keep him talking. It's very "play your role" for sure! And French Mistake Sam is the icing on the cake. 🤣🤣🤣

I do understand his struggle after the war, but it's literally NO excuse to treat his wife like shit, cheat on her, lie to her, spend her money for his trashy sidepiece, and God knows what else. You don't want an anchor? Fine. Get divorced. The fact he keeps her around and won't let her find her own happiness after she literally saved his life is so mind-boggingly selfish smh The least he could to show his gratitude is not be a gigantic cuntface 🤬

First of all, LOVE that you dug up that Freddie gif. Leave it to you to find the perfect one there. 🤣🤣

And yes ALLLL of this! Louder for the people in the back!!!

That's exactly how I hoped readers would react to Michael's scene. Is he pitiable in a sense? Sure. Does he inspire sympathy? Maybe. But it doesn't excuse his selfishness, especially when you contrast him with Dean and his experiences vs. his actions.

Ugh, God, poor thing! 😭💔 With all the romanticism of that period sadly also comes the shame of taboo topics (not to mention feminism in general taking a backseat lol) Really feel for her here! Wish she wouldn't blame herself as much. Her husband is a dirtbag 😔

Ooof yep, that's something I hoped would come across as well. I wanted the reader to be strong but realistic to the time period in that sense. But it shows how her moral character differs from her husband. 🙄 Even now, she feels guilty for betraying him, even if she also doesn't. It's more the principle of it that she feels shame for, if not the actual emotional act.

SCREAMING 😳😳😳 The whole flower shop scene was like watching a train wreck. Poor Dean! So many stingers in those few sentences!! 😩 (And man, I wanna choke Michael!!! Buying flowers? Dinner? Are you fucking kidding me??? WHAT THE F–???)

Ughhhh God ikr? Poor Dean, indeed!! 😭😭 What's ironic is Michael doesn't know that that's almost exactly what Dean did to cheer her up the night before. So now, even Dean might be looking at his own actions as "not enough." But Michael has every shade of audacity, doesn't he? 😤

But did you stop the angst there? Nope! The reader part of me hated you, while the writer part highly commended you 😂💜

*snorts* honestly thank you - this compliment feeds me so much. 😂💕💕

I already knew it wouldn't be fast, but I knew this was going to be a problem. Where would she stay during this? Michael certainly won't have it, and I really fear for her safety here 🥺 (Reading the teaser for the last part, I think I have good reason to, even though I know you said once earlier I didn't need to. Still, you got me shaking here, girl 😅) Surprised Sam wouldn't think about that, considering everything he found out about the guy so far 👀

Ooh yes, these are all good questions! Her safety and where she'll stay is definitely a factor coming into play in Part 5. After what Sam has found out, he's going to make sure she's looked out for, for sure! 💜💜

This was such a dreamy, swoon-worthy movie scene *sighs* 😍🫠 And then they had to start talking, didn't they? Specifically Dean. The infamous DW self-loathing enters the AU 😆 I really just wanted to cover his piehole and tell him to stop talking, kiss her for real, and take her with you. Hide out in Kansas till everything blows over 😭

Ugh right?? Things started out so nice, why tf did Dean have to open his mouth? lmaoo

"I'm no good for you"!Dean has entered the chat. 😒 But no DW love story would be complete without a little self-loathing, right? 🙃

LOL love that image of literally covering his piehole.~

But I know it hurts, my lovely. I'm so sorry to do this to you. 🥲🤭

And I'm so glad the brothers had a long overdue chat as well! I still feel so incredibly heartbroken for Dean 😭

Oh yeah, Sam and Dean needed to have that moment - for Sam to see how much he was hurting big bro, and for Dean to get that off his chest. Ultimately though, if these guys can survive three years of the war apart, they can survive learning how to be brothers again too. 💜

I can't wait for the last part of this & how it all will tie together in the end! Eeeek! This is so, so, so incredibly good, friend!!! 😍😍😍 (And I get to read it on Patreon tonight too hehe 🩵)

Aww I love you so much for wanting to join my Patreon, friend!! I can't wait to see what you think of how it all shakes out--with much drama of course. you know me lmao 😘💖💖

BETWEEN THE CITY & THE STARS - Part 4

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader

Summary: In the fall of 1945, Dean is having a difficult time assimilating back into civilian life after the War. He’s visiting his brother Sam in New York City, where he’s beginning to build up his law firm. At two minutes to closing time, you interrupt their evening to solicit a solicitor. Your request? You need help in order to divorce your husband.

AN: Now we get into the aftermath of the night before, with all the insecurity and heartbreak to go along with it. 💙

Jacklesverse Bingo24 Prompt: Historical Epic

Song Inspo: “Danke Shoen” by Wayne Newton

Word Count: 4K

Tags/Warnings: Mentions of cheating, angsty angst, trauma/PTSD, and a cliffhanger…

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Part 4: Complicit

Sam would give Michael one thing. The guy damn well knew how to drink.

He didn’t stop all night, throwing back whiskey like it was cheap beer. His words began to slur, his movements sloppy, but he was still coherent. When he got up to visit the men’s restroom, Sam got up as well. Maybe he could get Michael talking.

Sam stopped the other man from tripping into the urinal. The two laughed it off, with Michael thanking him before he unzipped to finish his business. Sam did the same.

After washing their hands, Sam looked over and noticed Michael’s gaze lingering on his own reflection in the mirror. It was becoming a rough sight—his blonde hair no longer neatly coiffed, purplish rings under his eyes, the stench of alcohol clinging to his skin and clothing.

“You all right there, Milligan?” Sam asked.

Michael ran a hand over his face, sighing when it didn’t get any better.

“Fine,” he replied. “So, Winchester. What did you say you do for work again? Something about your own business?”

Sam nodded. “I started up a law firm.”

That much, he had to be honest about. It was all too easy for someone to look up his name in the directory.

“Sounds like a good outfit,” Michael said, with an incline of his head. “Every lawyer I know wears a Rolex.”

Sam chuckled, glancing down at his father’s watch. “Well, I’m not quite there yet.”

“Someday soon, I’m sure,” said Michael. He bumped Sam conspiringly on the shoulder.

“And you?” Sam asked. “What’s keeping the lights on at your place?”

Michael raised a hand to sort through his unruly hair, a dirtier blonde in this unflattering light.

“Well, you could say I’ve inherited a business of my own,” he said. “I run a meat packing plant down in the district.”

Sam’s attention piqued. There had been a meat rationing during the war, even some rumors and propaganda about “meatleggers,” black market operators.

“How’s it been with the rations?” Sam asked. “Been hard to even find a good carton of eggs lately.”

Michael gave him a slight smile. “Been on the turnaround, actually. I’ve been able to make some connections with vendors outside the city. A little grease on the palms makes a little go a long way, if you catch my drift.”

Sam slowly smiled and nodded. A little grease on the palms, huh?

“Do what you gotta do in the times, ‘s what I say,” Sam agreed.

Michael snorted. “Now you’re talkin’. That’s all we can do, you know. Try to make a thing work, with whatever scraps we get. Try to stay afloat.”

“Try to stay alive,” Sam rejoined.

Michael made a low sound of approval. He became more contemplative, crossing his arms as he once again glanced at his reflection in the bathroom mirror. Sam’s gaze on the other man was perceptive, gaining ever closer to what seemed to be eating at the very core of him. Whether Sam actually believed what he was saying or not, each of his words was a test, a subtle nudge.

“You know,” Michael said. “I was shot down in France.”

Sam sobered further. Leaning against the counter, he retrieved two cigarettes and a lighter. He didn’t often smoke, but he thought it might keep the other man talking. He handed one over to Michael, and he took it gratefully. They lit up together and coiled musky tobacco smoke into the air.

“Where?” Sam asked.

Michael snorted, huffing a bit of smoke. “Lord knows. But when I woke up, I had stitches from here to here.”

He gestured to the back of his head, all the way to above his brow. It explained a small, but noticeable scar near his temple.

“And I had an angel standing over me,” he added, his eyes growing heavy. Guilty. “A bona fide angel. She’d stitched me up, she told me. She also told me I was lucky to be alive. The doc wanted to toe tag me and be done with it, but she thought I still had some fight left in me.”

Michael shook his head. “The next chance I got, I married her.”

Sam’s brows rose. He knew you had been a nurse, but he hadn’t known this part of your story.

“A wartime romance, huh?” he said. Michael quirked a smile.

“She was my anchor,” he said. “After it was all said and done, she followed me here, held my feet down to the ground. Sometimes she had to hammer me down, ya know.”

He hesitated, his eyes somewhat glazing over. He stared over Sam’s shoulder at something only he could see.

“But sometimes…sometimes an anchor just feels suffocating,” he said. “Sometimes, you need to forget your own damn name. Forget that your entire life and mortgage is in a warehouse that might as well be a freezer full a’ dead cow meat. And still, it smells a hell of a lot better than lying on a dirty cot—where the last guy who had your spot probably got his leg sawed off.”

Michael considers the cigarette in his hand for a long while before he takes another puff.

Sam exhales smoke as well. He spent the last three years behind a desk, but he sees the same shaken core in Michael Milligan that he too often sees in his older brother.

“You know, Winchester, there’s two kinds of men,” Michael said, just a hint of a slur in his voice. “The ones who pray to live…and the ones who beg for it to be over.”

“And what kind of man are you now?” Sam asked. His tone was loose, but his gaze was sharp.

Michael snorted. He dabbed the butt of his cigarette on the inside of the sink before he threw it away.

“I’m the guy who can’t die,” he muttered.

He rolled his shoulders, as if to let the weight of his words and everything that came along with them to roll off his back. Then he pushed his way out of the bathroom, leaving Sam considering more than just half a cigarette.

That night after Dean left, you slept in the guest room instead of your bed. You couldn’t even bring yourself to sleep next to Michael when he stumbled in at four in the morning, especially now that you had seen his game with your own eyes.

However, you also felt complicit yourself the next morning. You felt…ashamed. You took your vows seriously. You had never in your life thought you would be someone so brazen. You never thought you would dishonor your husband as well as yourself.

And yet. All while you got ready for work, hearing Michael’s snores from the other room, your mind was filled with warmth and memory—of Dean. His smile, his voice, his eyes, his lips, and of course, his hands. You couldn’t decide which of them was your favorite, but his hands were high on the list.

You shouldn’t have let him in, you reminded yourself. You nibbled on your lower lip while you prepped the coffee maker. You should have told him goodnight at the door and saw him off. You should very well not have invited him up to the apartment, let alone drank with him, or let him touch you…

You paused while the sound of percolation and the smell of fresh coffee filled the kitchen. You looked up at yourself in the small mirror that hung on the wall. The woman looking back at you was conflicted at best.

Yes, you felt guilty. But at the same time, you didn’t. Was it really betraying your marriage if your husband had been doing far worse, and for God knew how long?

No. This wasn’t a marriage. This was a sham. A mockery of the very thing.

You frowned angrily and almost slammed the carafe on the counter when the coffee was done. Forcing yourself to take a few steadying breaths, you allowed that hate and anger to slowly drain out of you, and you smiled.

You marveled that you could smile at all, but it was only thanks to Dean Winchester.

What the hell am I doing?

Dean stared at the two bouquets of flowers. One was a bound bunch of red roses, the other was wildflowers and other colorful ones he didn’t know the names of. He was having a hard time deciding, namely because he didn’t know what kind of flowers you liked.

Because after all, he barely knew you.

He sighed down at the roses. They were pretty, but expensive. He could imagine your surprise, followed by your smile—the one that actually lit up your eyes and changed your whole face, made you sweeter, almost shy.

I’m buying flowers for a married woman.

The thought managed to make him pause, with a rough exhale of breath. The truth was, he’d crossed the line with you. More than once.

The hard part about it was, he didn’t really care. He did wonder if you cared.

He wondered if you’d be embarrassed to see him again. He wondered if you wanted to keep last night a memory, and nothing more. He wondered if he was better off booking his train home now, and leaving some kind of note for you with Sam. Dean didn’t think he wanted to see that look of mortification on your face, the whiskey finally cleared from your mind to see what he really was: a man with no job, no commitments, and very little prospects on the horizon.

“Ah, ‘scuse me,” a young man said from Dean’s left side.

“Oh, sorry,” Dean said, making way for the guy. He wasn’t quite as tall as Dean, lithe, blonde, and blue-eyed. He grabbed an arrangement of blue and yellow iris flowers from the case and took it up to the front. The florist seemed to recognize him.

“Oh, Michael! Been a while since I’ve seen you,” he said.

When the florist asked about you as well, the mention of your name rang between Dean’s ears. A feeling like inky claws raked through his chest; he raised his head from the roses and finally recognized Michael Milligan. He was the same man Dean had spotted in your wedding pictures hanging on the wall last night, right in the foyer.

“She’s all right,” Michael chuckled. “Truth be told, I’ve been working late this week. Hoping to surprise her tonight, take her out to dinner. Somewhere nice, you know.”

“Oh, really? Why don’t you take her to that nice steakhouse off of Broadway…” the florist twittered on as he continued to ring up Michael’s order.

Anger and disgust prickled under Dean’s skin, his fists clenched at his sides. More than anything, he wanted to turn around and lay your husband out flat. If he thought one little bouquet and a Salisbury steak was going to wash him clean, then he was an idiot as well as a selfish bastard.

But Dean knew, deep down, that Michael would be just as justified to throw a swing right back at him.

So Dean left the flowers, the flower shop, and the entire busy street and all its blaring sounds behind.

During your lunch break, you quickly made the trek over to Sam’s office. He’d called you this morning with a story that only confirmed everything you’d inherently felt, and yet, some of it still managed to shock you.

You didn’t even have the patience to wait until after work, but when you got there, he reassured you. It had taken him a few rounds of poker and discreetly following Michael and Dolores after they exited through the back of the club…but Sam had gotten the evidence not long after. They weren’t exactly discreet in the alley. Or in the nearby motel.

You had the envelope in hand filled with the pictures he’d developed from his camera.

“You don’t have to look,” he advised. “I wouldn’t recommend it.”

“No, I want to see it,” you said. You took the pictures out, and your expression didn’t change as you look through them all. Each position captured was more compromising than the next between Michael and Dolores Daye. Apparently, he was paying most of her bills as well with your combined household funds. So part of your own money was financing his exploits.

“I’m sorry,” Sam said. He was sincere, with those hazel eyes of his.

You nodded and gave him back the envelope. “What’s next?”

“I went ahead and filed the petition. I’ll take this right to the clerk’s office myself.”

“How long will it take to be over?”

“As long as Michael plays along, should be quick. A few months at most, after he’s served the divorce papers and signs them,” Sam assured.

A few months? That wasn’t quick enough in your book, but you agreed with a nod. You got up from the chair opposite his desk. You hesitated there.

“Oh, I meant to ask…how’s your brother?” you said.

Sam began to smile, but he tempered it. “He just called before you came in. He let me know he was stepping out for a walk.”

“Oh, really? Did he happen to say where?”

You not only found Dean in Central Park, but close to the very same bench you two had sat on yesterday and talked the night away. He was surprised, but he smiled when he saw you. Your pace quickened, until you were hastening over to him. He welcomed you into his arms. He bent his head towards yours, stopping just shy of kissing you. Instead, he pressed his forehead to yours for a moment.

“Well, look who’s here?” he teased. “How’d you find me?”

“I stopped by Sam’s office,” you said, holding onto the lapels of his coat. A cold November wind pushed at you both, ruffling your clothes. “The paperwork is on its way. Soon enough, I won’t be a married woman anymore.”

He tucked a wild strand of hair behind your ear and smiled, but it didn’t altogether reach his eyes.

“How soon is soon?” he asked.

“A few months, according to your brother.”

Dean nodded, taking a deep breath. “That’s good…but, I need to head home for a little while.”

That made you pause, tilting your head in confusion. Though you supposed it made sense. He was only here visiting his brother. He was planning on going home eventually.

But surely, that was before we… You lowered your gaze.

“Back to Lawrence?” you asked. Again, he nodded.

“I need to take care of some things, figure out my next move,” he said.

You pulled away from him to brace yourself, and not just against the cold. “Well, when will you be back?”

He stayed quiet, worrying you even more. There was a deep pit forming in your stomach, churning with unease.

“Dean?” you prodded.

He stepped back in to grasp your arms gently.

“Sweetheart…the truth is, I don’t have much to offer you,” he said. “I don’t have a business to inherit from my folks. I don’t even have a job. I’m a man who was about as useful as a jackhammer, until the war ended.”

You frowned, resting a hand against his chest. “Dean Winchester, that’s not all there is to you.”

“Really. When did you figure that one out, in the whole week you’ve known me?” he asked. It was harsher than he meant to be, but he couldn’t help the words that were spilling out of his mouth. “Didn’t that get you in trouble the first time? I’d a thought you would’ve learned your lesson by now.”

You snatched your hand back, hurt filling your eyes. You turned to walk away before he saw your tears. You should have known. You should have known a man like him would never be serious. Not about you.

As soon as he let the words go, Dean realized what he was doing. Yeah, he was frustrated, but it wasn’t aimed at you. It couldn’t be aimed at you.

God knew he didn’t want to hurt you, or for you to hate him. He really couldn’t stomach either thought, so he relented and reached out to grab at your hand, before you could get too far.

“Wait,” he said, managing to pull you back to him. “I’m sorry.”

You tugged your hand to try and free yourself from his grasp.

“You know what, maybe you’re right,” you said, your voice wobbling with anger, dismay, and tears. “Maybe I ought to stop letting a man get even an inch into my heart. At this point, it’s my own fault.”

“Stop,” Dean demanded. “No, it’s not.”

He pulled you back into him, but you looked away from his imploring gaze. Your breaths grew shallow while you tried in vain to stop yourself from crying. It damn well broke his heart.

“It’s not your fault. I’m just an idiot,” He cupped your cheeks and wiped your tears as they fell. “But you…you deserve to be happy. With a man that can take care of you, protect you. A man who has a little more of his life figured out.”

“You’re just saying that so you have an excuse for toying with me. So you can keep chasing skirts,” you said, pushing at his chest. “Yes, your brother told me about all your little exploits.”

Dean took the blow, both proverbial and physical, with a raise of his brows. He guessed he couldn’t blame you for that one. Still, the disdain behind your words stung. He allowed you to break free of him.

You stepped back and straightened your clothes. You took in a deep breath that did nothing to calm you, and you uttered a humorless laugh.

“I suppose it makes sense. Why would you want anything to do with me?” You gestured down at yourself with a dismissive hand. “A-a walking mess. Even when I am divorced, that’s how people will see me. Damaged goods. I don’t even know how I’m gonna tell my parents.”

You covered your face against Dean and the rest of the world, and after weeks and months, you finally allowed yourself the one thing you hadn’t since your first inkling that your husband was being unfaithful. You finally allowed yourself to break.

The first sob shuddered through your body, followed by hot tears. You squeezed your eyes against them and wiped at your face in vain.

Dean broke too, in his own way. He gathered you into his arms, where he shushed you gently and pressed a kiss to your forehead.

“I wasn’t giving you an excuse,” he said.

Despite how much you wanted to push him away, the deep, steady timbre of his voice pierced you and soothed you at the same time.

“I meant every word I said. I may not be the right guy for you, but don’t you dare take a scrap of what anyone else might say, you hear me?” he said firmly. “You’re beautiful. You don’t suffer fools like me, and you’re better than that sad sack excuse of a man deserves.”

You looked up at him with watery eyes.

“You’re a lot of things, Dean Winchester, but you’re not a fool.”

He shook his head, not wanting to argue with you anymore. He just kissed you, deeply, thoroughly, the way you always imagined a kiss should be.

Except that you realized…this was goodbye. So you took advantage of every second of it.

You met him with as much as he gave and reached up to touch his cheek. It felt a little rough under your fingers, just like you remembered. You would probably always remember that feeling, long after you left the park.

That evening, you packed as many bags as you could. You put together the savings you’d been collecting for a few months. It had been at your coworker Jess’s advice, ever since you started feeling the inkling that something wasn’t right in your marriage.

After you were all packed, you took one last, long look at the space you had tried to make your home. With one last tear trailing your cheek, you stepped out of the apartment. You took the bus uptown, where you later checked into a hotel.

When your husband finally got home from work, he would find a one-page letter written in your own hand.

For once, Sam was actually home in his apartment. He was helping Dean take his suitcase to the front door after calling a taxi to come shortly. Sam wasn’t happy about it though.

“You don’t have to go so soon, Dean,” said Sam.

Dean gave a humorless laugh. He grabbed his coat from the rack and threw it on.

“I’ve gotta get back to the house. It’s already been empty too long,” he said. Three years too long. “Fact is, I’m just getting in your way here.”

He couldn’t quite meet Sam’s eyes as he went to the door, but Sam stopped him with a pressing hand on his arm, tugging him back.

“Hey,” Sam said, his brows furrowed. “That’s not true. Where’d you get that idea?”

Dean raised his brows. “You mean the way you’ve haven’t been home more than a few hours a night? The way the only time I see you is if I go find you at that office. You should open up a Bed n’ Breakfast there. You’d make a double killing in this town.”

Sam wilted. “Dean, we opened the firm barely a month ago. I’m just trying to—”

Dean laid a hand on his shoulder, relenting.

“Hey, look. I’m not judging you, Sammy. I’m not,” he said. “You’re building something. I know that. I just need to go figure out how to do the same, whatever that means for me.”

Sam stared back at him, still with that frown. His guilt and reluctance to see Dean go was reflected in his eyes; those sad puppy dog eyes that used to get him out of almost any punishment with their parents when the boys were young. Before.

The corner of Dean’s mouth kicked up into a smirk.

“Don’t worry. I’ll see you again soon,” he said.

“How soon is soon?” Sam asked. It was something their mother used to say to John whenever he called late, promising he’d come home after long days in town buying supplies for the farm.

“The divorce papers will be served to Michael Milligan,” Sam added, pointedly raising his brows. “She…could use your support.”

Dean’s smile faded at the mention of you. His hand slipped from Sam’s shoulder.

“She’s got a strong head on her shoulders. She’ll be all right,” he said. He heard the honk of the taxi outside. He grabbed up his hat, set it on his head, and took up his bags. He turned back to Sam at the last moment. “I’m sure you’ll look out for her.”

It was somehow both a question, and an imploring charge. Sam sighed, but he nodded in agreement. His brother could be so very stubborn. Once he got an idea of what he thought he needed to do, there was almost no talking him out of it.

Sam opened the door for him and walked him out to the car, helping him with his bags. Before Dean could get into the cab, Sam stopped him. Their gazes met, but in that moment, no words were needed.

They pulled one another into a firm hug.

I’m sorry. I should’ve been there more for you.

Don’t worry about it. It’s already forgotten.

Dean released him first with a smile, and a heavy pat of Sam’s shoulder. He turned and climbed into the cab’s backseat. Afterwards, Sam watched the yellow cab take his brother away to the train station, feeling a weight in his heart that wouldn’t subside.

He would never know that Dean felt exactly the same way. Except that impossible weight felt a lot like your hand, gently laid over his heart.

Dean took up his suitcase as the train pulled into the station. He stepped up onto the platform and retrieved the ticket from his pocket, but he paused, hearing a familiar voice shouting his name.

He turned his head and saw Sam rushing to meet him at the platform.

“What’s the matter? What’re you doing here?” Dean asked in surprise. He didn’t like the wary apprehension written across Sam’s face.

“I just took a closer look at Milligan’s finances,” he said. “Before you go, there’s something you might want to know.”

AN: Come on, we needed at least one cliffhanger in this series! 😘 What do you think Sam rushed over to tell Dean? What did you think about their "goodbye," as well as her and Dean's goodbye? ...And are you ready for all the drama that's about to go down? lol

Next Time:

Except the loud, insistent knock on the door broke you out of your thoughts. Straightening up with a frown, you set down your glass and went over to the door. Maybe it was Housekeeping coming up to bring you the fresh towels you asked for. The ones that had been laid out in the bathroom smelled musty.

You opened the door to a tall frame taking up room in the doorway. It was Michael, standing there both disheveled and steaming mad. He held your letter crumpled in his left hand.

“Michael, what—what’re you doing here?” you gasped and stepped back. He followed you inside the room and slammed it shut. He looked around at your open suitcases in disbelief, then finally at you.

“What’s this supposed to mean, huh?” he demanded to know. He shook the flimsy piece of paper at you.

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bwat5-blog · 15 hours ago

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Caitlyn Kiramman Discussion Response: @xxbrightshadowxx

**Discussion of Arcane so obviously spoiler warning for entire show**

***REALLY LONG***

Before We Begin: To anyone aside from the user I tagged who reads this, please don't post anything aggressive on here. We have all done plenty of mud-slinging, INCLUDING ME. I am not judging or ragging on anyone. But they responded kindly and respectfully and have just asked for the same, which I intend to honor. Thank you.

Part One Of Discussion

Good morning, I have read through your entire response and as promised have returned to give my response as well. First of all, thank you for taking the time to read and respond at all. I'm just another internet random and you certainly don't owe me a moment of your time. Second, thank you for leaving the door open for good discussion and debate. I linked part one of this with your response as well up top in blue, and will paste your response below. That way this doesn't turn into an enormously long post, but we can see what was said and the response on this page.

Your Responses:

Hello. I will not lie, this is very impressive. You break down information and your response is effective. It’s organized, you get your point through very thoroughly. You also did it without insulting me which is a lot more than some tumblr users and TikTok users could do for me. You’re right it’s clear you and I are on opposite ends of how we felt about Caitlyn in season 2. Some of your points did change some of my thinking towards Caitlyn and some I still have the same feelings to.

You’re right Caitlyn was not in the right headspace when she went against Jinx and has a lot of PTSD from her so she wasn’t in the best of mind when she hit her. I’ll agree with that. For your point that Caitlyn apologized to Vi through her actions I have to disagree with that. That’s because the show never truly acknowledges Caitlyn leaving or hitting Vi. Her saving Vander, she does get a point for that however her running to Vi when she was injured instead of Jink just shows she still cares about her not that she’s necessarily sorry. Her keeping Jinx in the bunker rather than Stillwater, and holding off on any judgement until Vi is awake isn’t shown to be Caitlyn doing that because she wants to apologize to Vi. Her letting Vi free Jinx, while that could show she’s apologizing and making amends, it falls flat because Jinx leaves Vi so it doesn’t feel as effective, at least for me.

As for the gray and Ambessa’s manipulation: I also disagree with. Ambessa, while she did orchestra the attack at the funeral and put Caitlyn in charge, Caitlyn chose to use the gray on Zaun. The gray is a gas. That is what I meant by nuclear/chemical warfare(should’ve been more specific, sorry) You cannot control a gas once it’s released. And the gray isn’t just a tear gas or anything it is a life ending gas that could kill people. We learn this from Viktor who was dying from it in season 1. And the excuse that it was Chembarons they were using it on doesn’t help it. It does not matter if the chembarons weren’t good people and were criminals. They were still people. You mentioned the deleted scenes that make Caitlyn look better and I actually haven’t seen them. I’ll look into them when I’m less busy. But you mentioned deleted scenes and how there are no proven longer term effects to such a ‘short’ amount. There is a deleted scene of Ekko bringing people to the firelight base, people that aren’t one of the chembarons that were coughing from the gray. People who weren’t chembarons were also affected by the gray. But then again, it was a deleted scenes so it is a weak rebuttal since it wasn’t actually in the show. You are right, the show doesn’t glorify the gassing but it doesn’t ever acknowledge the event after it happens. No one calls out Caitlyn on the morality of using the gray or the effects it could have on the people. She doesn’t get consequences for gassing people or hurting Vi. The show doesn’t even mention the hit again after it happens. When Vi does call her out, it’s not for her attacks on Zaun. It’s for listening to Ambessa.

About Jinx, Sevika, and Silco. I do believe you simplify their actions. I do give Jinx more slack because she is a product of Piltover’s neglect and oppression. Don’t get me wrong, she’s crazy and very violent. But all her issues stem from Piltover’s abuse Enforcers killed her parents during whah seemed to be a protest against Piltover. Silco did affect her and made her who she was but he wouldn’t have done that if he wasn’t already affected by Piltover. yes, Silco is awful. He wants more than anything to get revenge on Topside rather than freedom for Zaun which causes him to do things that hurt his own people without remorse. But the only reason he was the way he was from resentment for Piltover constantly treating them like crap as stated before in season 1. His resentment overtook his want for freedom for his people and it turned him for the worse. If Topside treated Zaun better, Silco would’ve never become the monster he was. And as for Sevika, it’s implied she’s also a product of Piltover’s neglect. The reason why the killed Vander is because Vander was bending to Piltover’s will. He might’ve stopped the enforcers going down there but Zaun was still fighting for scraps, they were still treated as less and Vi calls him out for it. Im not saying them attacking and trying to kill the kids makes it right. But what I am saying is if you want to say Caitlyn is complex then you have to admit that Silco, Sevika, and Jinx are as well. Caitlyn, she gets consequences for going against Ambessa by her injuries but she doesn’t get consequences for hurting Vi or gassing Zaun. Also, it’s not that I only love Caitlyn when she isn’t affected by the things she went through. It’s just that I don’t love how the writers handled the direction her character went through even though I think they could’ve made it work with their vision. As a tumblr user I like said: ‘they wanted the aesthetic of a person gone down the wrong path while still making them seem good in their eyes’.

To finish this long reply, you make great points in the defense of Caitlyn, some making me take on a new perspective. there is so much more I most likely missed or counterpoints you might have for me. I also plan to read through your analysis posts to see how you interpreted them. If you do and want to rebuttal I’d be interested to see what you have to say as long as you stay respectful to me and I’ll do the same for you.

End Your Responses

You disagree that Caitlyn ever truly apologizes for hitting and leaving Vi-

Okay I responded to your overall complaint that Caitlyn never really apologizes to Vi. I stated that while it is correct she never verbally apologizes, she does so through her deeds.

You responded to each point, explaining why you still don't feel that it was truly addressed and Caitlyn truly apologized:

"For your point that Caitlyn apologized to Vi through her actions I have to disagree with that. That’s because the show never truly acknowledges Caitlyn leaving or hitting Vi"

You then responded to each point:

1. We agree on Caitlyn helping save Vander. 2. You feel that prioritizing saving Vi over hurting Jinx was more an expression of still caring for Vi rather any remorse for her actions. 3. You feel that Caitlyn keeping Jinx in the bunker and holding off on judgement was not shown as an apology. 4. You feel that while allowing Vi to free Jinx could be seen as making amends, it falls flat because Jinx leaves. (you make a point of mentioning at it does so at least for you)

Okay, so I already mentioned the actions I consider her expressions of apology and remorse. But we need to talk about her words as well. There are three big moments that show her feelings about her actions in particular:

S2 E8 28:51- "I know!"

Vi has confronted Caitlyn over Jinx being locked up. When Caitlyn says it was clear Jinx was a contingency in the commune because Vi didn't trust her, Vi straight up calls her out-

"Can you blame me? How long were you sidled up with that shifty, self-serving war pig? She oinked poison in your ear and you just ate it"

Our timestamped quote is how Caitlyn responds. She is clearly upset and angry with herself. She knows what she did and is acknowledging her wrong doing in allowing herself to be twisted up and used by Ambessa.

S2 E8 28:19- "We can't erase our mistakes. None of us"

The conversation continues. Vi tells her that Jinx has changed and this is how Caitlyn responds. But again, we have to look at Caitlyn is actually saying.

"None of Us"

They have been talking about Jinx. Caitlyn is verbally equating herself with Jinx. The woman she hated so intensely it drove her to this point. The woman who killed her mother. And even though she is saying it about Jinx she is saying it about herself as well.

She is looking at Vi and saying in another way- "Nothing can erase what I did"

S2 E8 27:06- "No amount of good deeds can undo our crimes!...Hating you... I've hated myself. I just don't have the energy for it any longer".

So as we know, following her conversation with Vi Caitlyn goes to see Jinx in the bunker and they have this moment.

So once again, Caitlyn verbally equates herself with Jinx. This time speaking to Jinx directly. That is twice now she has placed herself on the same level as the woman who killed her mother, who she allowed her hate for to drive herself so far over crossing the line. Twice that she has expressed the belief there is no way that not only Jinx, but that SHE can make things right.

And perhaps most telling of all, it is not to Vi who she loves, that she admits she has hated herself. It's to Jinx. The woman who once haunted her literal waking steps, who she hated with such intensity that she cast aside everything she believed in, who killed her mother. I suspect guilt doesn't even begin to cover how she feels.

Okay. Now, I am well aware that none of that is a direct apology to Vi over what she did. My reason for mentioning those moments is that we have to remember Caitlyn is not a character known for outward display of emotion. Not that it doesn't happen, but no matter how you feel about her I think we can agree she is never really shown to be the overly mushy type. Look at the moment tells her father she could have stopped Jinx:

S2 E1 30:30- "I had the shot"

We at least agreed Caitlyn went through some seriously messed up stuff in season one. So she has been through all of that, now she is dealing with her mother's death and sitting on the couch next to her father. And this is all she says. Staring down at the ground with teary eyes she says this one thing, blaming herself.

She was never the sort that was going to fall on her knees and beg Vi's forgiveness. It just isn't in line with her personality or depiction. So keeping that in mind I would argue we need to view her actions I listed with this new context in mind that I have given:

1. She is aware and admitting she messed up and is clearly angry over it 2. She feels that nothing can erase what she did 3. She feels no good deed can undo her crimes 4. She is placing herself on the same level as Jinx 5. She hates herself for what she did 6. She is not the sort of character to express herself through her words

Saving Vander: We agreed on this one

Prioritizing saving Vi over hurting Jinx: I actually do see your point here even with this context. But, I think that the fact that when Caitlyn didn't have time to think and just had to tact, her eyes never left the woman she hurt so terribly in pursuit of her hatred even though the object of said hatred was there with her back turned. And I think that speaks greatly to the change in Caitlyn's heart.

Holding Jinx in the bunker and postponing judgement: So this is the first one where Caitlyn has any measure of time to think. When I say this is a way of making amends I don't mean Caitlyn saw it as-

"I screwed up, if I keep Jinx out of Stillwater and don't execute her maybe I can make things right"

Caitlyn doesn't believe she can make things right, as we have seen. She doesn't think anything she does can erase her crimes. And she sees herself in the same light as the woman who killed her mother. She hates herself.

Regarding this point, we have to remember Caitlyn is not the only person who wanted Jinx's head on a plate. The elite of Piltover, the families of every Enforcer she killed, there are countless people who would be baying for Jinx's execution. But Caitlyn keeps her close, and even though she was still The Commander at that time and had all authority needed to do so, she does not hurt her. She waits for Vi, because even if she can't make it right, she doesn't want to make it any worse.

Allowing Vi to free Jinx: So on this one you stated you can see it as making amends, but it fell flat for you because Jinx left Vi. You are of course entitled to your opinion and I understand if you feel that way. All I'd say I suppose is that just to remember what the weight of that decision actually means regarding Caitlyn. She set aside her hatred of her mother's killer, in favor of her love for Vi. Even if it would mean she lost Vi forever.

You disagree with my points regarding Caitlyn & The Grey-

Regarding the use of The Grey you raise several points:

1. You admit that while Ambessa orchestrated the attack on the memorial, Caitlyn made the choice to use The Grey 2. You clarify your overall complaint was her use of chemical warfare against the defenseless of Zaun regarding your point in your original post- "She gassed and used nuclear warfare against the defenseless in Zaun" (You clarified you meant chemical) 3. You state The Grey is not like tear gas, it is fatal. And that we learn this from Viktor who was dying of it in season one. 4. The use of The Grey is not justified just because The Chem-Barons are criminals, as they are still people 5. There were people affected who were not bad guys 6. The show does not acknowledge using The Grey, she faces no consequences for it, and when Vi calls her out it is for Ambessa, not for her actions in Zaun

Caitlyn made the decision to use The Grey on her own:

She absolutely did. No arguments. But I will say I think considering the context is extremely important and something that is often left aside when this comes up. I am posting a section of another post I did below that addresses this topic exactly. Part of this post was proving Ambessa set up the attack as well so ignore that as we already agree.

***START OLD POST***

Let's go back in time to the aftermath of Jinx's attack on the council and what their plan of retaliation entails. S2 E1 33:37-Ambessa smirking at Mel as Salo explains "I thought it prudent to solicit the advice of such an experienced veteran"

S2 E1 33:20- Salo finishes explaining his plan- "We flood the undercity with Enforcers, armed with Hextech"

S2 E1 33:18- Caitlyn immediately protests "innocents will be caught in the cross fire"

S2 E1 32:02-31:58- Mel agrees to a form of the plan after Salo continues to push. "I'll agree to endorse the invasion. But I draw the line at Hextech".

Okay. So we have established the Council's intention in clear and precise language with examples straight out of content- INVASION. But! There's a problem. Because what does Ambessa actually want? Fully weaponized hextech. How do we know this? Well she told us-

S1 E9 33:35- "If there is a chance hextech can be weaponized, we must have it" Ambessa says after being confronted by Mel

S1 E9 33:32- "Piltover isn't your testing ground" Mel responds S1 E9 33:23- "I can't believe you'd start a war just to cover your ass" Mel continues S1 E9 33:20- " I would set the world ablaze to protect our family" Ambessa admits

Alright so we know the Council's plan. And we know Ambessa's motivation, including how far she'd go to achieve it and that comes straight from her own mouth. She openly admits she'd not only start a war, but light the world on fire to do what she views as needed to protect her family. The council's failure to ratify Salo's plan of all out aggression counters her goal.

So how does she push it to that point? The memorial attack. She sent her man Rictus to assist the Chem Baron Renni, giving her the chance for revenge on Jayce during the memorial. She of course then came to the rescue with her people, killing Renni herself. We see evidence of all of this below:

S2 E3 5:48- Flashback begins showing everything we just discussed

Ambessa's goal: Weaponized Hextech at any cost

Council's plan: Invasion without Hextech

Ambessa's response: Organizes a full Zaunite incursion in the middle of a memorial service killing several and stoking hostility and fear to an all time high

Back to Caitlyn-

Okay finally we are back. So as I said, she protests the invasion plan but is denied. We see this clearly. The memorial attack occurs and of course we know from there Caitlyn forms the plan for the strike team, goes to the council, then she and the team go into Zaun utilizing The Grey and so on. So lets review the conversation leading her to create the team. It's after the memorial attack. She is understandably quite upset- no matter how much you don't like her they got attacked during a memorial for her mom- and she and Vi talk.

S2 E1 7:48 to 7:41- Vi tells Caitlyn "you need to find a way to call off the invasion... This battle was on your soil. Down there, you'll be on their terms" S2 E1 7:35 to 7:27- In response to Vi telling Caitlyn they need to change it when Caitlyn says "none of this is on our terms" Caitlyn says "I don't know how okay? She leaves this giant hole, and I'm just supposed to fill it. Like she was never here to begin with."

S2 E1 5:26 to 5:16- Salo is speaking to the others in the wake of the attack pressing once more for the full weaponization of Hextech. "We can't afford anymore handwringing. If we do not defend ourselves with Hextech, our principles will mean nothing".

And from there as we know, she uses The Kiramman Key and learns about The Grey. From there we get the "Heavy Is The Crown" sequence where the strike team is revealed.

Conclusion:

Caitlyn formed the strike team and used The Grey as an alternative to The Invasion. She only did so because of The Memorial Attack.

Ambessa conclusively and undeniably orchestrated the memorial attack.

Ambessa did so after declaring in her own words in season 1 after being accused of being willing to start a war "I would set the world ablaze to protect our family"

Caitlyn used The Grey because of Ambessa and the events she orchestrated.

***END OLD POST BACK TO CURRENT DOC**

So all of that mess to say, while I do of course agree that the end of the day Caitlyn made the choice. I all too often see this component totally left out. Ambessa intentionally and knowingly orchestrated not only an attack, but an attack during a memorial knowing it would enrage people. If she hadn't done we never would have arrived where we do.

Addressing points 2-4: Caitlyn used chemical warfare against the defenseless, it is fatal, and the use of it against the criminal element does not justify its use as they are still human beings.

Okay, the reason I am addressing three points in one is these all fall under the same issue. There has been quite a lot of criticism levelled at Caitlyn all under the heading of chemical warfare. All with mention of the real-world definitions and laws that classify such things, and the accusations of how she violated them. At the end of the day, this is all a work of fiction. So real-world technical standards of war crimes, chemical warfare and so on have no meaning in-world.

And that of course isn't to say there is anything wrong with analyzing fiction through a real world lens to a point. If you are interested as an exercise in curiosity I delved into how the use of The Grey would be classified per The Chemical Weapons Convention myself. To the best of my ability I deduced it would actually be called a "Riot Control Agent" or "RCA", not a "Chemical Weapon". It's linked below but I realize sending additional documents when I'm already on here writing novels is obnoxious.

Grey War Crime Doc

So setting aside the real-world standards at least for this conversation (you are of course entitled to stick to them for yourself as see fit), we can very much so talk about The Grey with what we are given from content.

Is The Grey Fatal?

Long Term Exposure: Absolutely it can be. We see the sketches of those Zaunites when caitlyn is using the key with those terrible injuries. Viktor actually isn't confirmed to be sick from The Grey itself but more than likely. There is all sorts of dialogue and plenty of evidence to back this up.

Short Term Exposure: There is zero evidence to support this. Every single person we see exposed during the Strike Team's use of it, during Silco's use of it, and during the final battle is either alive, or quite clearly died from something else. Of course as I said in the other post, we can speculate. But we can speculate about all sorts of things. Vi's repeated head trauma alone is very likely to end in seizures or CTE if we want to get into that. Sevika is a chain smoker. Jinx is infused with shimmer and looks like she weighs roughly 90 pounds who knows what her future holds. That could go on forever. But if short term exposure is fatal as you suggest, this is a list of characters who are going to die of complications, or should have died already-

Caitlyn

Jinx (I know but I'm of the camp that she survived)

Steb

Sevika

Piltover boy Ambessa uses as an anti-zaun prop

Heenot

And those are just the ones whose names we know. There are many things in our world that are extremely dangerous when exposed to excessive quantities, but quite mundane at lesser quantities. All evidence given by the show itself suggests The Grey falls into this category.

2. Did Caitlyn Gas The Defenseless?

First, lets review her named targets of The Strike Team:

Jinx

Associates of Silco (the chem-barons)

Shimmer

So at the very least, her named targets are not anyone defenseless. Now as we know, the deployment of The Grey was via the ventilation system Cassandra Kiramman herself created. This means two things:

-It wasn't being dropped as bombs, or fired from cannons or any of that. It was coming from specific points at chosen times. -Caitlyn had control of it. Not arguing what she did with it yet, just that she herself was the one "at the wheel" if you will. And we do get confirmation of this via the Hellfire animation with plans showing the controls and actual images of Caitlyn using them

I bring that up only to show that it was not just some sort of random flooding of The Undercity.

Moving on! So, we know they at the absolute least did not enter Zaun intending to target anyone defenseless or innocent, and that Caitlyn did have some amount of control over its use. Now we come to this quote by writer/creator Amanda Overton:

"It was strategic to a pin point. Still, is that forgivable?"

Now I know as I stated before in the original post, many people who are very unhappy with Caitlyn's story in season two have made up their mind to ignore/disregard this quote. If you feel that way, I cannot argue it because that is your right. But as she is one of the creators and she did say it, I factor it into my conversation and will continue to do so.

Now, we of course do have the address the issue of it being a gas, fictional or not. I absolutely agree that there was no way it could be controlled completely. And we do see this, in S2 E2 31:29 Smeech and his crew arrive at Margot's base to find the grey leaking out of the big statue's eyes and mouth to a point. But I would point out two things.

This is what it looks like outside-

It looks thick but some of that is regular Zaun smog we always see, plus Smeech and his associated while covering the mouths are able to speak quite freely with only a bit of coughing

2. This is what it looks like where they actually let it loose just on the other side-

So my point is this. I absolutely agree they could not guarantee it would only impact their chosen targets. But I would say that clearly the system they use is giving them at least a decent amount of control.

In Review:

Caitlyn very specifically names targets that only pose a threat to everyone's safety, Piltover & Zaun alike.

The deployment of The Grey is proven to be under her control to a point.

One of the creators of the show confirmed Caitlyn used The Grey in a strategic manner

While acknowledging and recognizing that The Grey cannot be contained completely, the evidence we see of that very thing suggests that environmental exposure is fairly controlled at least while dealing with Chem-Baron bases themselves.

So my question regarding this topic is as follows: Which of these two statements seems more fair and honest given this topic?

Caitlyn gassed the defenseless.

Caitlyn used the grey in a tactical and strategic fashion, but in her growing anger and hate failed to account for the potential risk to the defenseless of Zaun.

Because as I have said several times now. I'm not out to justify her wrong doing. Just to bring down the heat of the rhetoric around her story so it can be discussed fairly and honestly.

3. Was gassing the Chem-Barons unjust?

So this is again something that is going to come down a lot to opinion. But, we can certainly discuss it. To review a few pertinent factors:

Caitlyn's strike team is an alternative to a full invasion, as we saw.

The chem-barons have weapons and shimmer.

The Grey is only proven to be fatal with long-term exposure. Otherwise it is temporarily debilitating like tear gas.

So, Piltovan retaliation is coming. That is not up for debate. The chem-barons are extremely dangerous. If Caitlyn doesn't use The Grey, and they want to stop the invasion as we showed earlier, what is her option?

Fighting. Room to room, floor to floor, more than likely fatal fighting. Instead of using the grey and arresting everyone while they are coughing up a fit, more than likely a lot of people are going to die.

And we have to remember, while of course the Chem-Barons are people. They are very dangerous, and they are not good for Zaun either. We see Sevika trying to stop their turf wars because they are ripping Zaun apart. And this section of lyrics for Suckers put it quite plainly as Jinx is walking through the fracturing Undercity-

"Dirty little animals You cannibals, eat your supper One by one, all these vultures keep coming"

As we are given scenes of them destroying each other. These are violent, greedy, evil people ripping their home apart.

Something we should also address is that at least Chross (if not the other barons) has forced child labor somewhere in his organization. We see them being taken during the Suckers montage. So, does this mean if there were children in a base that got hit with the grey then they did as well?

Yes it certainly does. But keeping in mind that the alternative is for Enforcers who don't care who they hurt wielding hex-tech weapons to storm these bases shooting shooting at will, what is the better option for these kids? The Grey, or a bullet?

The show does not acknowledge using The Grey, she faces no consequences for it, and when Vi calls her out it is for Ambessa, not for her actions in Zaun

Okay, so this is kind of the wrap up regarding The Grey. So in review:

1. No in-canon evidence of being fatal from their use 2. It was used in the most controlled fashion they could 3. The alternative to the strike team was a full invasion, and the alternative to The Grey within the strike team was active and likely much more deadly fighting 4. The people they did target were dangerous, well armed, and posed a threat to everyone's safety

So what does all that mean?

It means that the use of The Grey, is not wrong for the reasons people have made it out to be. Not in this instance. Let's return to just the small bit of lyrics from "Hellfire"-

"Can I do the right thing for the wrong reason? Is it bad that I'm making friends with my demons"

Putting Jinx aside because her dynamic with Caitlyn is obviously much more complicated, the strike team's goals are good for everyone. Shimmer is a blight on Zaun. Ekko himself says so. And we have already covered the barons. Removing these things is undeniably good for Zaun. And with the alternative being an invasion or what would clearly be much more deadly fighting, I genuinely cannot fathom a way in which they could have done this better. What they are doing, is not the issue. It's why.

Caitlyn doesn't lead a strike team into Zaun to liberate the people of The Undercity from these threats that Piltover's negligence and abuse have allowed to flourish. That would be another issue entirely. She is there chasing her hate, her rage, and her need for revenge, and she doesn't see it because she can justify it under doing "the right thing". She doesn't see that its "for the wrong reason". And therefore is leading her down a darker and darker path, no matter how many lives it saved.

Something of note: Ekko is still in Zaun when this is going on. Now, I saw a post recently that suggested the writers left him out simply because they didn't want to address the fact that he would have to fight Vi and Caitlyn if he was present in these scenes. However, as stated I am more inclined to analyze the story I was given. Therefore, if you consider all the evidence I have presented, and that Ekko had not yet vanished to the AU, what is the only logical result? He at the very least tacitly approved. Because he was such a champion for his people, if this was all truly so terrible, I think we can agree he would have been in their business immediately.

So regarding your complaint, I would say my response is that The Grey isn't what she has to apologize for. That's why it isn't a focal point moving forward. Especially from Vi who was there beside her.

You disagree with my oversimplification of Jinx, Silco and Sevika-

So actually I can answer this one fairly easily. You are 100% correct. My sort of quick and dirty list of the actions of these three characters was exactly that. It lacked the detail it should have had. And given that one of things I have addressed frequently is the lack of context to Caitlyn's actions many people to demonize her unfairly, that was wrong of me. Your closing to statement to this section is one I agree with entirely-

"But what I am saying is if you want to say Caitlyn is complex then you have to admit that Silco, Sevika, and Jinx are as well."

In closing before your comments to me you revisit the topic of Caitlyn's consequences-

You see her consequences as for going against Ambessa only, not for her actions in Zaun or for hurting Vi

You don't love how the writers handled her character and story

You share a quote you agree with- "they wanted the aesthetic of a person gone down the wrong path while still making them seem good in their eyes'

Regarding Consequences:

Well as we have discussed this may just be one of those things we feel differently about. I think if you were looking for "eye for an eye" transactional sort of punishment that isn't what this story is.

But, I will try to give a clear list of what I see as consequences of her actions. I'll leave it to you to decide what heading they belong under. Keeping in mind of course that some of things are more nebulous in definition, such as long term mental health impact, but I feel that in a show like Arcane it is reasonable to assume these characters would experience such things.

Immense physical injuries: Fight against Ambessa

Immense guilt: All of it. As we established because she says in plain english, she hates herself. And if you really think about how this spiderwebs into everything that has happened there will likely be a part of Caitlyn that NEVER stops punishing herself for this

They almost lost the fight until Zaun showed. And Zaun initially didn't show yes because of their history but also because of the occupation

Mental trauma like you wouldn't believe: I mean take your pick, but the woman she was sharing a bed with while Vi was gone almost murdered her

Now, I see all of that as consequences of her mistakes and decisions in season two. Listed below is the Miriam Webster definition of consequence.

Now, I don't post that to be an arrogant jerk. I know you know what a consequence is. I post it because more and more I am getting the impression that many fans who feel as you do are looking for this:

And again, if that is how you feel, that is your prerogative. But the way I view the events that unfold, she will be living with the consequences of her actions for the rest of her life. And if you are looking for punishment, from who?

As stated, everything she did was entirely lawful. Now I am of course not saying that makes it okay. Far from. But she acted completely and totally within the bounds of the rules and laws set by this shows world. So there is no judicial punishment to be meted out.

And if you are looking for the other sort of punishment- retribution , then from whom?

Vi- Vi loves her. And Vi is also aware that Caitlyn spared Jinx's life at Vi's pleading and her entire life was ripped apart. Vi is also aware of what it feels like to lose control in a terrible moment and hurt someone you love (By the way I'm not one of those people equating Caitlyn hitting Vi to Vi hitting Powder. Clearly the actions of children versus adults, just saying Vi knows how that feels). Vi also saw who Caitlyn was before she lost her way. The same Caitlyn who saved her life repeatedly, and who comforted her after the fight on the bridge. The same Caitlyn who helped save Vander at the drop of a hat and who let Vi free her mother's killer, because she loves Vi more than she hates her.

Zaun- Regarding the grey, we have discussed that. As far as I'm concerned Caitlyn removed terrible threats from the streets of Zaun. Now talking about the occupation and Martial Law does Caitlyn owe a debt to Zaun? Of course. But Caitlyn's debt is not Piltover's. She shouldn't have to shoulder the last however many years of oppression and negligence because that nothing to do with her. The worst deeds of the occupation were done without her knowledge and away from her eyes. She was manipulated and used by an extremely intelligent and calculating war monger who stoked the conflict for her own designs. It doesn't excuse her letting herself be blinded to it for the sake of her vengeance. But she was hardly the head of the snake either.

And in closing regarding consequence or punishment, I'll say this. I know her near-death was because she fought Ambessa. But let's not forget what a victory for Ambessa and Viktor meant. Viktor intended to evolve all of humanity. Caitlyn willingly put her life on the line, and almost lost it, for a battle that mattered to the future of Zaun just as much as Piltover. And when it was all said and done,(although I acknowledge we never really get the specifics on how it works in terms a new councilor being chosen) Caitlyn doesn't sit in her mother's old seat. A Zaunite does.

You don't love how the writers handled it:

Nothing for this one that is entirely your right

"they wanted the aesthetic of a person gone down the wrong path while still making them seem good in their eyes"

So it's hard to dig too much into another person's quote. But I have seen something to the effect going around so I think I understand.

There has been a lot of commentary lately essentially saying it's like they were unwilling to commit to Caitlyn's villainous arc. That by continuing to use plot points and scenes that show her in a sympathetic light, they failed to stick the landing regarding her "turn to the dark side"

If (And I do mean if because this is someone else's quote and I don't want to put words in your mouth) that is what you mean I just cannot see it.

You yourself clearly outline Caitlyn as a good person in season one. So the way I see it:

Good person in season one + Conflicted person who makes mistakes in season two= Conflicted good person who makes mistakes.

They don't fully commit to her being a villain, because she never was one.

WRAP UP:

Good god I'm obnoxious. I feel like this is somehow even longer. I'm really sorry lol. Anyway, I really appreciate you for being willing to engage and discuss. If you are done I totally get it but I'd love to keep on if you are up for it. I'm genuinely enjoying the chance for some good respectful debate. Thank you for your time.

#arcane #arcane season 2 spoilers #caitlyn kiramman #vi arcane #caitvi #jinx arcane #arcane season 1 #vi and jinx #arcane vi #caitlyn kirraman #arcane silco #sevika arcane #arcane ekko #arcane zaun #piltover arcane #really long post #arcane discourse #vander arcane #vander

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toastytrusty · 1 day ago

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ok so. class/imperial dynamics between hickey and crozier. they each represent a different side of imperialism and a different way it affects people. very important to note that the major messaging of the show emphasizes how there are no "good ones" or "bad ones" within imperialism; the WHOLE SYSTEM is rotten and destroys everything it touches. the men on the expedition don't just damage and destroy the people and world they meet, the men are damaged and destroyed by the expedition itself. the whole ordeal was wretched and made everything worse for everyone. Which leads to the fundamental difference between hickey and crozier: hickey recognizes this, and crozier doesn't. Kind of. They both have similar lower class backgrounds, and looked to the navy for social mobility. Crozier played by the rules and achieved power and status through it, and he believes in the sanctity of naval bureaucracy and hospitality, if only they go about things the right way. Hickey, however, was so far removed from the prospects of this social mobility that he had to lie and commit identity theft to gain access to it. He has suffered at the hands of the british empire, and never held any illusions about the nature of it; he recognizes the class system as oppressive and the imperial system as violent. He tries to use this to his advantage and to gain power over others, but he still recognizes it and hates it. While crozier is certainly Doing His Best and has Good Intentions and all that, all of his decisions still end up being harmful or disregarding, and all the harm done by anyone else on the expedition (including hickey) is done in his name, because he brought them here and he is their leader. When hickey kidnaps silna and brings her to the ships, crozier is disgusted at the way hickey makes the violent nature of their presence so apparent, and yet he Does Keep silna on the ships afterwards. hickey is punished for insolence and dereliction of duty moreso than the actual harm he caused. Crozier’s issue was with the way he went about his actions, rather than the actions themselves. It still serviced crozier, even if he was, on the surface, put off by it. And hickey did it because he expected crozier to appreciate it. He thought crozier recognized the same things he did. But he didn’t, and that’s where the break between them happens, moreso than during the lashing. Hickey realizes that crozier Doesn’t understand the same things he does, or see things the same way he does. He has assimilated into the naval structure far too much and, in hickey’s view, lost touch. Which is ironic, given that hickey’s whole identity theft was quite indicative of him abandoning his lower class background and any perspective it gave him. There’s a very interesting dichotomy there, of crozier always being honest about his lower class background, and yet achieving status regardless, and becoming fully entrenched in the imperial machine because of it, and hickey never being honest about his lower class background, never achieving status regardless, and still resenting the imperial machine the entire time.

Hickey views crozier as the embodiment of the british empire, and the ups and downs of his respect for him are indicative of the ups and downs of his feelings towards his own potential for betterment through the imperial system. I might be stretching here but to meeee hickey’s mutiny is representative of something like a bourgeois revolution. He views crozier’s command, and the larger system, as oppressive, and he views himself as entirely separate from it in some way, when really he just wants to take crozier’s place and implement a near identical system within his own camp. Hickey’s delusions of personal exceptionalism are quite significant all the way to the end, when he tries to fully sever himself from his britishness and sacrifice crozier to the tuunbaq. He thinks he is different, and that him recognizing the empire’s brutality makes him any less implicated in it. Of course, it doesn’t; he is still british and cannot separate himself from that, so the tuunbaq kills him. However, crozier kills the tuunbaq. He is still concluding the devastation the british cause here. Also crozier’s “you could have just joined up” is really interesting because it shows that even then he still believed in the accessibility and positive potential of the navy. He thinks hickey is foolish for his reservations and ill will, and is almost denying the idea that there would be anything preventing that.

#sorry that this one's really incoherent and rambly i wrote most of it at like 1 am #also feel free to disagree with my crozier analysis #i admittedly do not know him like that and was just doing some quick narrative calculus to conclude these things #whateva #corneius hickey #francis crozier #the terror #the terror amc #the terror 2018

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slaymitchabernathy · 2 days ago

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The Witch

| "And I'm on trial, waiting 'til the beat comes out. I'm miles away, he's on my mind, I'm getting tired of crawling all the way. And I've had enough, it's obvious, and I'm getting tired of crawling all the way." |

He finds his way to the cabin under the cover of the moonlight, a heavy feeling weighs on his chest. On one note, Coriolanus is almost honored to be trusted with a mission as important as this one. But on another, it all feels so wrong, Soarynn hasn't done anything, hurt anyone. From what she's told him, she's lonely yes, but she'd never hurt a fly.

Perhaps Hoff is blowing things out of proportion.

He finds Petunia sitting on the top step, her tail swishes back and forth when she sees him. They have somewhat of a mutual understanding now, she doesn't bite him, he doesn't kick her.

It's a symbiotic relationship.

Petunia meows when he pets her head, staying perched on the step. Soarynn says she keeps watch at night, since cats have better vision than humans do in the dark.

He quietly knocks on the door, hoping, praying that Soarynn isn't home tonight. To his chagrin, she opens the door, dressed in a nightgown, with her hair braided down her back. "Oh," she says, looking surprised to see him so late at night, "thought you were comin' around on Sunday."

Coriolanus shoves his hands in his pockets, "Just wanted to see you."

For someone who values honesty, it scares him how easily he can lie to her.

Soarynn smiles, soft and sweet. She's gotten to be much nicer to him, more trusting and open. "Well, come in, it's gettin' colder every night." She's right, the hot months of summer are well behind them, bringing a brisk air with October. He shuffles into the small house, closing the door behind him. If Petunia wants to come inside, she'll make it known by scratching at the door and yowling at the top of her lungs until someone opens it for her.

"I just put some tea on if you want any."

Coriolanus eyes the teapot, he's not really here for tea. "Actually, I was wondering if you'd read my palm again, I, I'm interested to see if there's anything else it might tell you."

Soarynn seems surprised at his statement. A few months ago he nearly ran out of here when she read his palm, but so much has changed since then.

They’ve changed since then.

“Sure, have a seat.”

Coriolanus sits in the wooden chair, resting the back of his larger hand against the table. If Soarynn can really read people’s palms, he wonders what else she can do. Can she read his thoughts? Can she tell the future?

Whatever she can do, it seems to make people like Commander Hoff very nervous, so nervous that he wants to see her hanging from the gallows.

Soarynn sits across from him, brushing her long blonde hair behind her ears as she leans forward, “You want me to read the same one?”

“Is there a difference?” He asks, thinking that surely it won’t matter which palm she reads. Soarynn nods, tracing a finger down the well-worn lines in his palm, “Each one tells me a different story.”

Well, what does he have to lose?

He places his other hand on the table, doing his best to keep it from shaking from his nerves. From his guilt. Soarynn says nothing about the shaking though, if she even notices it.

She studies his palm, the grooves it has from grabbing and holding things after almost nineteen years. She presses her finger against the longest one, "This means you'll have a long marriage, it'll last long is what I mean, won't have to worry about splittin' up."

Well that's a relief he supposes. Divorce is highly frowned upon in the Capitol and if Coriolanus wants to become President-which he does-he can't afford to stain his reputation with a nasty divorce. This is certainly good news. He already prefers this hand over the other one.

Soarynn continues reading his palm, "This one shows that you'll meet someone soon, a girl," she mumbles and he notices a slight blush on her cheeks. Does she think it's about her? He does his best to ease the tension growing between them, "How lucky she'll be then," he jokes, cracking a smile. Soarynn hums without returning the smile.

"This one says that you'll also break a heart."

Oh.

Breaking a heart can mean a lot of things though, like a friendship, not necessarily a romantic relationship. That's what he wants to think. Soarynn lets go of his hand, "That's all I can see."

Is it? Or is it all she wants to see?

Either way, he came here on a mission, on an assignment and he intends to see it through, even if it's horrible. "Have you ever been in love?" He asks, leaning back in the chair. Soarynn raises her eyebrows, they talk about many things when they're together, but never love.

Too sensitive for either of them.

"Can't say I have," she replies with a shrug, "most boys don't want much to do with me."

If he's going to do this, then he ought to do it the proper way, charm her, make her feel good at least. Give her one last final moment before her bitter end. So he grins, "Really? Then they're missing out."

Soarynn looks mildly uncomfortable with where this conversation is going. "I'm not really lookin' either," she adds, "for someone." That actually interests him, Coriolanus has always known that he'd need to find a suitable partner, but perhaps they don't have these goals in Twelve, or any of the Districts for that matter.

"If you had to create the perfect man, what would he be like?"

They're going into uncharted territory and just like when he was lost in the forest, Coriolanus has no map.

Soarynn shifts in her chair, pulling her knees to her chest and he involuntarily looks at her bare legs, smooth despite living in the woods. She must bathe and shave in the lake. That's good, there's nothing worse than an unkempt woman.

"Um, haven't really thought about it before if I'm bein' honest. Probably just someone who loves me for who I am, and someone who likes bein' outside."

So not him.

That's fine, perfectly fine in fact.

This way, he won't get more attached to her. "I'm sure you'll meet him one day," he tells her, ignoring the way she looks longingly at him from across the table. If she wants him to love her, she's shit out of luck. Coriolanus already knows he can't love, isn't capable of it, doesn't really want to do it either.

Love makes him weak.

He feels weak already when he's around her. She's so disarming, so pretty and kind. He's going to hell for what he's about to do to her.

"I forgot to tell you, I'm leaving in a couple of days."

Soarynn looks genuinely hurt by his lie, she needn't know that he's lying, it'll make this so much easier. "Where're you goin' then? Two?" Coriolanus grins, shaking his head, "Back home. That's really why I came to see you, to say goodbye."

Soarynn's entire body deflates, poor thing is going to be all alone again, or well, she thinks she's going to be all alone again.

And what will they do to spend their last night together?

"Oh, well, well I'm gonna miss seein' you out here then. It's been real nice havin' a friendly face come and visit me. I just wish I could give you somethin' as a gift."

His eyes travel along her collar bones, her bare shoulders with a thin night gown strap across them. "I can think of one thing," he says, leaning forward, "one thing you could give me Soarynn."

Soarynn sits up straighter, his intentions are clear.

It's her move now.

꧁ ꧂

Three hours later and Coriolanus is getting dressed again.

He can feel her watching him, those stormy blue eyes have always enchanted him, and he hopes that this will be his last memory of her. Sweet and innocent, and now, wholly his.

He didn't expect for her to be a virgin, figured a girl like her had probably slept with half the town for a few grimy coins but no, Soarynn was a sweet little secret. She gave in rather easily, desperate for some last bits of human companionship before he took off for home.

To his credit, he was gentle, patient, some might even say he was loving.

Her eyes were so wide when he slid into her cunt, so mesmerized by him, by his body, his confidence, his experience. Him. He guided her through the steps of losing one's virginity. He tasted her, wined and dined her like she was his last meal.

She basically was.

Despite the urge to fuck her like no tomorrow, he held back, taking things nice and slow, romantic even.

They kissed.

"When does your train leave?"

"Sunday," he lies, slipping his shirt back on, "that's why I came to see you tonight."

"Wish I could come and see you at the station," she says, and he turns, looking at the vision she is when she's naked in bed. While she is underfed, her body is just to his liking, soft and smooth, her breasts fit perfectly into his hands. It's a shame he only got to taste her once.

"It's probably for the best," he tells her, tucking his gun back into his waistband, "but thank you, for everything. I hope it all works out for you in the end."

Soarynn smiles up at him, so sweet and trusting, "I hope it all works out for you too. Maybe you could come and visit me and Petunia someday when you're rich."

Oh, Petunia. He hadn't even thought about the cat. What will she do when Soarynn is gone?

Coriolanus clears his throat, desperate to get out of here before his guilty thoughts consume him. "Yeah, well, I'll have to see. I better get going though."

Soarynn sits up in her bed, pulling the covers up to her chest, "Guess this is goodbye then," she says softly. Coriolanus nods, scratching the back of his neck, feeling the cold chain of his dogtags against his skin, "Here, for you to remember me by." He pulls the chain over his neck, holding it out to her.

Soarynn's fingers wrap around the silver chain, silver is a hard thing to find out here. "Thank you. Here, take this." She slides off one of her rings, she always wears rings, some shiny, some dull. This one though is special because she told him about it.

One of her mother's rings.

"I can't," he shakes his head, "it's your mother's."

"Take it," she insists, "you gave me the lighter that used to be your father's. It's the least I could give you."

She already gave him her virginity.

He takes the ring, sliding it onto his pinky, "Thanks."

Coriolanus leans down, pressing one more chaste kiss to her lips which she eagerly returns. He's been with a few girls, but never a girl like her.

Not every man can say that he slept with a witch.

꧁ ꧂

Three days later, a proper witch hunt takes place at night.

Coriolanus watched men load into trucks, with dogs on leashes and guns holstered to their hips.

He hoped Petunia would be able to get away at least.

He sits outside of his barrack, doing about anything to keep himself distracted while he thinks about Soarynn, if she got away, if they found her, if she knows what he's done to her.

Hoff had him make a map of where her cabin was, what it looked like on the inside. He told them everything.

All for a one-way ticket home.

"You've earned it son," Hoff had told him, patting his back, "get back home and forget this ever happened." He leaves at the end of the week.

Right now, he's picking at his nails, cut down for hygienic purposes, and he remembers how tightly she squeezed his hand while they had sex. How soft her hands were, how she giggled when they were done, and he wrapped his arms around her, enjoying the company of another human being for just a moment.

All he had reported back to Hoff was that she wasn't a virgin, and wasn't pregnant, the man didn't need to know anything else.

Suddenly, it's like he can hear every dog barking. Birds fly overhead and he swears they're barking too, or repeating, mimicking. Then, he hears it, a gunshot.

They found her.

꧁ ꧂

Desperate for a distraction, Coriolanus busies himself stacking empty crates by the mess hall, anything to keep his mind off of her. Dinner will be ready soon, the sun is setting and instead of coming back from another trip to the lake, he's here, wallowing in his shame.

The sound of trucks pulling up to the base is more than enough to make Coriolanus feel sick to his stomach. They're back.

He watches the trucks drive through the base one by one, loaded with dogs and Peacekeepers. He approaches the last one when he sees who's sitting in the front of the truck, Commander Hoff.

The Commander notices him instantly, grinning like a bobcat as he steps out of the truck, "Well son, we found her, put up one hell of a fight but we got her." There's a struggle from the back of the truck, a shout, a groan, and then, Soarynn falls out onto the ground. Coriolanus winces at the sound. Two Peacekeepers are on top of her in seconds, grabbing her by her bound arms and lifting her up as if she weighs nothing.

Hoff chuckles, shaking his head at the sight, "She's a wild one, don't know how you put up with her private."

Coriolanus swallows, everything Soarynn has ever known will soon be gone.

The Peacekeepers start to drag her away and she looks over her shoulder, her face is covered in dirt and blood, her hair tangled, her dress torn.

Their eyes meet across the courtyard and he feels shame flooding through his veins.

Her eyes reflect betrayal the same way the lake reflected lightning the night they met in that storm.

When she led the way for him, kept him dry, kept him safe.

Why couldn’t he do the same for her?

"She, uh, she had a cat," he says, his voice distant while watching them lead her away to the cells they keep the detained townspersons in. Mostly for being drunk in public. Now, it's for witches.

"Did you find the cat?"

"The white one? Yeah, we shot her."

Oh, Petunia.

Coriolanus can picture it now, Petunia trying to defend Soarynn in the chaos. The dogs barking, the men surrounding her cabin while Soarynn hunkers down in a corner, terrified out of her mind. Petunia would be on the top step, hissing and swiping at anyone in reach and then, the gun would go off.

It's like he was there to witness it, her small, white body limp on the steps. He can only imagine what Soarynn thought when she saw her feline companion, her loyal friend, dead on the steps to her house.

All because of him.

Now Petunia will rot away, eaten by animals who need a meal. Not buried, no, mourned yes, but not buried the way she should be.

"We'll hang her tomorrow, so rest up," Hoff encourages, "you did a great job helping us Snow, you should be very proud."

Instead of feeling proud, Coriolanus feels like the worst person in the world.

꧁ ꧂

Against his better judgment, Coriolanus goes to visit Soarynn in the cells. Barely any light seeps into the underground room, all concrete, no lake or sunshine, or birds and soft grass.

"Hasn't said a word since she got here," the guard tells him, waving his hand dismissively, "she knows her run is over."

Coriolanus wants to ask this man what "run" he is referring to. Was reading palms and sitting by the lake so bad? Did she really hurt anyone or was she just misunderstood?

He approaches her cell slowly, wrapping his hand around one of the iron bars once he sees her, curled up in the corner. He notices how her hands are still bound, and how there's a thick, metal shackle around her ankle.

She will not escape this.

When she looks up, her gaze is murderous.

"You lied to me," she whispers, her voice hoarse, probably from screaming and crying, "you betrayed me, and you lied to me, and you touched me and now, and now I'll never go home again, and Petunia," her voice breaks off when she mentions her beloved cat.

Coriolanus watches her sob, wishing so badly he could make this right, that he could go back in time and at least warn her. He could've done that, told her about Hoff's plan, left a note, helped her pack. She could've been far north by now, safe and sound.

"I'm sorry," he whispers, truly, he is.

"Go away," she croaks, "I'll be dead by the morning so just go away, no use to you now."

He sighs, it needn't be this way, not when she's about to die. "Soarynn," he starts, crouching down, "don't let it end like this, we still have time. We can talk things ou-"

"GO AWAY!" She screams, scaring him so bad that he falls back onto the ground, "GO AWAY AND NEVER COME BACK! YOU'RE CURSED! I CURSE YOU AND EVERYONE YOU KNOW. I CURSE YOUR WIFE, YOUR SONS, YOUR DAUGHTERS, EVERYONE! GO AWAY!"

For once, he is at a loss for words.

Her anger doesn't last long, it seems that screaming took the last bit of energy out of her, because Soarynn slouches back into her corner, soft sniffles can be heard, but his words will only hurt her further.

So Coriolanus leaves, cursed and cruel.

꧁ ꧂

"Citizens of Twelve, we are gathered here today to witness the hanging of the witch! A shunned woman who has caused havoc and dismay on Twelve for far too long!"

Coriolanus scans the crowd that has gathered to see Soarynn die. None of them cheer, all faces are solemn. Maybe she wasn't the witch they made her out to be.

"Let this be a message that the Capitol will not be challenged, living outside of our borders is unnatural and will result in execution. We have no tolerance for rebels," Hoff finishes in a snobbish tone.

Coriolanus turns when the rest of his fellow Peacekeepers do, all must bear witness to the witch dying. Soarynn keeps her composure calm, her face natural as she looks out into the crowd of people who knew her or knew of her all her life. She doesn't resist when another Commander guides her towards the noose or slips it over her neck.

In her last moments, she lets out a four note whistle, the same one she'd use to call Petunia back home. The birds in the forest must like this tune because they begin to repeat it in a melodic fashion, chirping it over and over again.

"Kill the witch!" Hoff commands.

Soarynn closes her eyes and it's done in a second, the floor gives out from underneath her, and he watches her neck snap like the stem of a daisy. He gasps, just like that, Soarynn is gone.

Mumurs can be heard through the crowd when her body is collected, they'll burn it next under Hoff's orders so she can't come back.

Coriolanus doesn't stick around for that part.

Instead, he ventures into the woods, desperate for a safe space to gather his thoughts. His feet carry him to the cabin without him even realizing it. It's a shocking sight. Every window broken, the steps in disrepair, the front door hanging off the hinges.

Coriolanus slowly climbs the steps and chokes back a sob when he sees her.

Petunia.

Her small little body lying in the doorway. He can see where she was shot, that fur stained red. Coriolanus sinks to his knees, gently picking up her lifeless frame, "I'm sorry," he whispers, choking back a sob, "I'm sorry I didn't protect you."

He failed to protect both of them, he could have but he didn't.

He looks into the cabin and finds the inside worse than the outside. Bedsheets thrown on the floor, glass frames shattered, the table knocked over. It's a mess.

Coriolanus manages to find one of the scarves Soarynn liked to wrap around her shoulders, a pretty orange thing, it will do nicely. He takes one last look at the cabin he might have considered home for a brief period of time before leaving.

He goes a little ways into the woods before stopping in a small clearing. He gently sets Petunia's body down and begins digging, it takes quite a while with his bare hands, but the ground is soft and his hands are already dirty, covered in blood literally and metaphorically.

Once the grave is deep enough, he carefully wraps Petunia in the scarf, so they can be together even in death.

"I hope you found each other again," he whispers, lowering her body into the ground. Burying her is much easier than digging was. He finds a few wild flowers and leaves them on top of her grave as well, it's what Soarynn would have wanted.

He doesn't stay much longer, he'll be leaving soon and he's not welcomed here anymore. He wonders if he ever was.

꧁ ꧂

"Good luck in the big city, Private."

Coriolanus gives Hoff a curt nod, today is the day, he's going back home. "Thank you sir, for everything."

"No, thank you, we couldn't have caught that witch if it weren't for you."

Coriolanus just nods again.

"Oh, we found this in her pockets before the hanging, figured the little brat stole it from you." In Commander Hoff's hand are his father's silver lighter and his dogtags.

Coriolanus pockets them, "Thank you, sir."

"Get home safe, Private."

Once on the train, Coriolanus feels a weight lifted off his chest, he can leave all of this behind, start a new life in the Capitol. The train pulls out of the station and he pulls out the lighter again, inspecting it for damage but finds none.

She took such good care of her things.

Now that cabin is empty. No more light or laughter, no more tea at night. No more Soarynn sleeping in her bed with Petunia curled up next to her. No more.

He stares at his palm again, "This one says that you'll also break a heart." Her voice is a painful echo in his mind, but she was right, he did break a heart.

His own.

Coriolanus scowls at his palm, at that silly little girl with her candles and her cat, living in those godforsaken woods. None if that was normal, none of it was natural. Now he's going back home to the Capitol, where there's order and the people are civil creatures.

He can't blame Soarynn for not knowing everything about him or the Capitol, all she's ever known is this sad life. But he knows one thing for certain.

Snow lands on top.

| tumblr oneshot/drabble |

| Part 2. | Final Part |

| taglist: @lovelylove268 @kickmybark @iswearicanfixhim @wonderlandbound111 @melodyoflovee @thevoicesinmyprettylittlehead @erensrealgf @evilmenarehot @cervvsq @snowgirl12 @matcha-muses @anisangeldust @snowsgames |

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foundedroses · 3 days ago

Text

-'🍷⁠*⁠.⁠✧ NSFW headcanons: Fyodor Dostoevsky!

W/C: 0.4K

C/W: smut, mentions of sex, bondage, dominate and submissive roles, cum, ect.

A/N: my favourite Russian rat— I’ve been having a rather significant brain rot of fyodor, so I decided to write these headcanons at 1 am. Believe it or not I actually wrote these down on paper before I typed them up on my computer lmao.

⁺‧₊˚ ཐི⋆⚰︎⋆ཋྀ ˚₊‧

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 Taking his anaemia into consideration, this dude can’t go more than one round or even just two—if you’re lucky…

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 On the same topic; he ends up feeling hella light headed and fatigued afterwards—probably is the one to need aftercare instead lmao

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 Okay, fyodor is most definitely dominate, no buts about it. There is no way in hell that I can see this bozo being submissive—well…maybe in some situations where he is feeling sort of lazy, just the would be allow his s/o to be on top, but I still think he’d be a controlling sub in this case.

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 Fyodors links are not too extreme— but still kinky none the less. He is into some light bandage—gets off seeing you helpless and completely at his mercy. Probably praises—not a lot, but sometimes.

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 Same subject as before, but he wants someone pure and untouched and is a virgin. I genuinely see this man finding it as a kink. (Also will probably wait till marriage to get down and dirty lol)

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 Fuodoe doesn’t really have a go to or favourite position, but definitely prefers to be the one on top half of the time (all thw time)

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 I can’t see him being SUPER affectionate, but I do see him being traditional in a way if that makes sense.

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 fucks with white lace, lingerie, you get the jist. Enjoys that pure and innocent aspect of the colour white

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 Literal KING AT ORAL-- Good as hell with his tongue. He just knows all the right places. Also a actual master with his hands--can make you cum alone just with his fingers

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 I certainly believe that Fyodor has everything against voyeurism or any risks in being caught in the act--rather likes to have sex in the comfort of his own home, he knows nobody will catch the two of you

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 honestly a huge tease--loves to test your limits to be absolute max and just gets off to hearing you beg him pathetically to let you come

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 fyodor is not loud at all--but after all, he still human and he obviously have some sort of reaction to sex--his breathing gets faster and he does let out a few of grunts every now and then and when he's about to come

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 this bros sex drive is low as fuck--it would be in the negatives if that was even possible... dude is too busy half of the time to fuck--but if he is feeling nice (which is hardly ever), then he'll settle down for some private one on one time with you

#fanfics #fan fictions #one shot #drabble #smut #bungo stray dogs #bsd #bsd fyodor #bungou stray dogs fyodor #fyodor dostoevsky #fyodor dostoyevsky bsd #fyodor x reader

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multiheadcanons · 5 hours ago

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THE MERCS MEETING YOUR SHITHEAD PARTNER BECAUSE I THINK ITS FUNNY

scout: scout would actually be cool with them until he notices the distinct look of annoyance and distaste on everyone else’s faces when they’re in the room. and that’s not right. sometimes he gets those looks but never from a whole room. then he starts asking questions. when he’s got a story pieced together, he is an active shit talker— with them in the room, he doesn’t care. actively tries to start fights. they’ll say it’s because he wants to get with you and he’ll let them believe it. he could think you’re ugly as shit; this fucker just needs to be gone.

soldier: soldier’s social senses is a little off, and we can admit that. and it’s because of his lack of social awareness, he will straight up ask why the mood dies every time your partner enters the room. he will ask if someone pissed in their cheerios today, or yesterday, or the day before. he is confused, and if the mood dies every time they come around, he’s going to get annoyed. depending on how he feels about you, he will either stop coming around entirely or audibly groan at the mention of your partner. and if he likes you enough to keep coming around, a physical fight is inevitable.

pyro: do not interact AT ALL. it’s not fair to pyro to even put them in a situation where they can’t intervene with an asshole. they will stop coming around the first time they have the displeasure of meeting your partner. if they really liked you, and wanted to be your friend, they’ll tell you directly it’s because your partner is an asshole. otherwise, pyro just comes up missing. which, frankly, is one of the better ways for it to go down. they could just torch the place with you both in it. that would most certainly solve the problem.

demo: he’s polite enough to them, but the second they’re out is eyesight it’s “what do you even see in that?” one of the more tactful mercs, to the point of being fake. that will come to an immediate end if they cross one of demo’s many metaphorical lines in the sand. as a matter of fact, demo starts finding more things that they simply… aren’t allowed to do in his presence. them opening their mouth becomes a grave offense if you give demo enough time to stew on it. doesn’t matter what comes out of it. their existence is a crime against humanity in and of itself. eventually they will make his shit list, because them entering a room is enough to piss demo off. but he’s good; he’s nice for like… two months.

heavy: another tactful man. he will do his best to keep his mouth shut, but sometimes his face just… scrunches. he looks like he just walked into the most cursed public restroom when your partner is in the room. he can fix his face pretty quickly, but the second your partner is gone…. “leave them. immediately.” two big thumbs down from the russian. not a fan at all. another man who, if given the opportunity to think about it, will eventually decide that he actually can’t stand a single thing about them, and will stop coming over because of the annoyance and disturbance it causes him. at that point, any interaction is not consensual on his end, and he does find justification in punching them straight in their jaw. these hands are rated e for everyone.

engineer: engie is almost… too nice. too normal. to the point where, if scout isn’t already clued in to the game engie plays, scout will have an issue with him too. but dell conagher is not stupid. everything seems really normal until your partner’s car won’t start. doesn’t start, no matter what you do with it, hell, go get a brand new one off the lot! the next time engie comes over it will. not. start. next time it’s the tires. next time you walk in your garage and you hear an odd… clicking. it was never there before. next time your car smells oddly of chemicals when you turn it on to run, and as you attempt to open the garage door it’s stuck. and no remote will open the garage. at that point get out of the house. honestly, if engie doesn’t like your partner, it’s best to just get out of dodge entirely. drop them before he makes them drop you.

medic: keep medic, soldier and scout out of the same room or your partner is getting jumped. they are the holy trifecta of shit starters; and if one of them gets started; none of them can help themselves. it’s a public execution at that point. the doctor won’t even say anything unless it is brought up first. and they all work each other up into a frenzy; so it goes very fast from “god, what a piece of shit” to “let’s just fucking kill them!” he will audibly gag at your partner, regardless of what they do. makes fucked up faces behind their back, and to their face, and to anyone else in the room. medic will have enough sense to go off of the dominant attitude in the room. that’s why you need to keep scout and soldier away. because if they get in a fight with your partner, know that the doctor is jumping in too. and he has no interest in stopping any bloodshed.

sniper: unintentionally intimidating. shit does not fly past snipes; not for a second. he’s not going to be scared to tell your partner to shove it, leave the room, can the chatter, sit down and shut up. and nobody wants to go against sniper when he’s in that mode. it’s not a good thing to be asked by the australian “so what did you mean by that?” or “so what was funny about that?”. that’s not him asking your partner to clarify their point, that’s him giving them an opportunity to retract their statement immediately. and if they don’t take it back immediately, snipes will have an issue. really, the chances are that snipes would probably not fight your partner. he’s not a hand to hand combatant. but he knows a guy who is. he knows quite a few, in fact. quite a few guys who get a kick out of knocking teeth loose from their skull. and he knows a guy who needs a new cadaver to play with. he can get that situation handled real quick.

spy: “eugh, please.” unimpressed. unimpressed and frankly disappointed in your choices. intentionally intimidating. spy has a hard stare that can stop anyone, and he doesn’t bust it out often, but when he does, it’s like ten thousand parents telling you they should’ve swallowed the load you came in, or busted on your mother’s back instead. the closest thing spy gets to a real dad is his eternal disappointment in your dating choices. even if he likes them! but he rarely, if ever, likes them. and he’s worse when he actively doesn’t like them. they will never be called their name, even if he’s speaking directly to them. they are an object and their pronouns are “it” and it is not to speak to him. he’ll hurt your feelings more than he’ll hurt your partners. he’ll ask if you like being treated like shit on the bottom of someone’s shoes. and if you can’t justify their treatment of you to him, he’ll start treating you that way too.

#team fortress 2 #team fortress two #tf2 medic #tf2 sniper #tf2 heavy #tf2 scout #tf2 soldier #tf2 engineer #tf2 pyro #tf2 spy #tf2 demo #tf2 demoman #i met one of my friends ex husbands bc he’s been helping out around her house…#genuinely couldn’t stop my face from twisting up

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kalinara · 18 hours ago

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I've mentioned this before, I know, but this whole intro is why I couldn't get into Hellions.

I did try. I read the thing, but whatever good there was later was muddled for me by the fact that the premise required everyone to be incredibly out of character.

Don't get me wrong, I enjoy how the Council ultimately destroys most of what it touches, but I can't get over the idea that they wouldn't have SOMETHING in place for mental health issues.

Or external possession issues, since Alex's thing is kind of a combination of both.

Cassandra Nova can be in some isolated part of the island, but we have to accept the idea of giving these characters to Sinister because there's nothing else in place?

I might have been okay with that if it was more than just Scott protesting here. But when you have characters like Kurt talking about this like it's a positive solution to a problem that no one bothered to consider... (Also the fact that Jean didn't vaporize Sinister when he says that "you're so much prettier when you smile" line is vastly OOC.)

You've got a point about Scott being nepotistic - I don't think that's a trait he tends to have normally, but given that Alex blew himself up in the Rosenberg run, I'm okay with a bit of overprotectiveness now. I'm just incredibly grateful that he does try to protest giving Alex (and anyone else) to Sinister.

Actually, to be honest, Hellions was one of the first Krakoa books I read, because I heard about the premise and needed to know, immediately, how that happened. Because the idea that HE might have willingly allowed Alex to be given to Sinister would possibly have been the deal-breaker that would have destroyed my love for the character. I might be a pro-level Cyclops apologist, but there are limits. But thankfully, aside from some easily glossed over situational hypocrisy, I think he's the only one in the intro scenes who is remotely in character. And I appreciate that he tries to put something in place to protect them, even if it ends up quickly subverted.

The most frustrating part of it is that it would have been incredibly easy to make it work. I mean, there's no getting past the fact that Xavier and company apparently never considered how to deal with the fact that many mutants are traumatized and mentally ill when creating their sanctuary to begin with. But if it was presented as "Actually, a team isn't a bad idea but we're absolutely not letting SINISTER run it!" and then Sinister, of course, goes around their back to take control anyway (basically the whole thing with Scott and Kwannon, just with all of them.) then I'd have a lot less trouble accepting the rest of the story.

Tangentially, I have a lot of issues with the Maddie set up here. I mean, everyone is absolutely right when they point out Sinister is on the Council, and thus punishing her for her deeds (many of which can be laid at his feet) is incredibly unfair.

But I resent that the way it's set up, there's no real meaningful way for any of the people who directly suffered at Maddie's hands to speak up against her. I think Scott probably did support Alex, as he said, but I certainly wouldn't blame him for being lukewarm at best about it. Sure, she started as the wronged party, but a few torture sessions, at least one sexual assault, and so on later... well, let's just say, I wouldn't blame Scott for abstaining.

(Actually to be fair, I've never been sure how much of that was her versus an AU version. But I can't really begrudge Scott for not knowing either. Actually, since he's not on the Council, he probably wouldn't have had a vote anyway...)

And of course later, Jean tells Madelyne that she was actually in support of her resurrection. And like Scott, I don't think she's lying, but I also think both characters are put in a position where they aren't really allowed, narratively, to have any other option.

I suppose I'd feel better about it if Madelyne ever really got to show some kind of...not even redemption per se, but some indication that trusting her isn't a mistake. We have Illyana giving her limbo - which she promptly uses to attack New York and try to force Jean into sharing memories that she's not entitled to (it'd be one thing if she ASKED. But also, no one asks Nathan if he WANTS the woman who tried to sacrifice him to demons to have Jean's memories of raising him.)

She does get some good moments during the Fall, but then there are all the games with Alex (and I'm a little boggled that Lorna was so quick to take him back after that. The Summers men must be utterly amazing in bed. Bred to be subs for a space god, I guess) and well, I guess I just want Maddie to be a character she isn't. I'm glad she's back from the dead, but I'm also glad she's not plaguing my favorites at the moment.

Havok and Cyclops dysfunction part 1

Hellions was a bit of a goldmine for Summers family drama. Alex had a bit of an episode and reverted to his AXIS inversion persona (not sure if that's the right word, but it seems to have triggered ongoing mental health issues, primarily violent disassociation.) He would have killed a bunch of humans if LOGAN didn't stop him.

Scott turns on big brother mode immediately, which is understandable, and the first time we see any hint of him standing against the Quiet Council. It's a little problematic - what makes Alex exempt from the same treatment as any other mutant? Scott implies he'd violently prevent the council from putting him in the pit if he killed people. He's right to object, as this is a complex issue, a health issue. That applies to everyone else in the dock too, though. For now, he's only willing to stand against injustice that affects those he loves nepotistically. Then fucking Sinister speaks up.

It's so very obvious that Sinister is arguing in bad faith. He already has too much power and any proposal giving him power over the vulnerable is indefensible. Everyone here should be aware of how much trauma this piece of shit has inflicted on Scott, Alex, and many more. Alex kinda thinks he deserves it, though he'll waver on that. Everyone on the council knows exactly what Sinister is, and I think not being more proactive with minimising the harm he could cause and making him redundant were massive failures. They need him for his genetic database and they'd prefer to not have him as an enemy, but he was given too much rope.

Sinister's proposal is The Hellions - the problem children of Krakoa sent on missions that reward their antisocial violence. After Greycrow executes Empath for messing with their heads, Havok argues he shouldn't be here. Kwannon disagrees and flags Alex's 'demons' - despite him coping okay with being at ground zero of Summers brother trauma. His 'demons' disagree too.

In a scenario practically designed to destabilise Alex, Maddie Pryor is there effectively utilising girl power. It's hard to tell how much of a factor magic is here but Alex slips into the role of Goblin Prince quickly. Maddie is pissed off - at Krakoa, at Scott, at Jean, at Sinister most of all. Angry at being used and discarded while her tormentor is rewarded, angry that they made a mutant nation for everyone except her. She plans to take Alex's head and throw it at their feet before overrunning Krakoa with an army of demons and cloned Marauders. Sadly, she gets shot, again.

Alex takes her words to heart and advocates for her resurrection. It's not the only reason, but the point is moot because the council votes no. Scott tried as well, though we only have his word to go off. I like to think he would, but he's not very supportive of Alex here. It's a far cry from his willingness to fight the council on his behalf. I guess a soldier will find violence easier than emotional labour. Honestly, it's difficult to tell where Scott is at here. He's incredibly family oriented in other books, but the good times are always easier than the bad times. This tracks with my experience of needing support from people and not getting it.

A good while later, Mastermind traps the Hellions in illusions of their deepest fantasies and desires. Alex's is ... interesting. Fantasy Maddie is nothing like RL Maddie, but she wants him and only him. That he's about to fuck a robot is grimly humorous and a little sad.

That illusion doesn't last, as it was only there to be yanked away and inverted. I'm skeptical that Alex would find this unpleasant, but it says something that fantasy Maddie is pliable and easygoing. 'Nightmare' Maddie has all the power and is an explicit callback to Inferno.

The illusion starts to break down which Alex interprets as Maddie punishing him by leaving. He practically shouts his insecurities and anxieties at Kwannon and Greycrow. They're not judging him, but he's not fooling anyone. Alex isn't scared of being alone and has no thoughts about being a budget Scott Summers. Totally.

Alex still thinks he doesn't belong in the Hellions, and he's right. Nobody does. However, he's ashamed to be associated with them in public. After all they've been through it's a dick move. Orphan Maker and Greycrow are definitely talking about themselves, but their comments fit Alex pretty well too.

This last one isn't really on theme - I just think it's hilarious. She did indeed eat his hands and him apologising for it is perfect.

I didn't really plan to explore Scott and Alex's relationship here, I just started off with Havok scans I found interesting. As I was thinking of a title, some theme that links these moments, it occurred to me that their relationship gets a lot of focus on Krakoa. It's spread out over half a dozen books or so, but that's for part two. They definitely have issues though - oh yes, and being around Sinister doesn't help.

#scott summers #cyclops #madelyne pryor #alex summers #Hm - between this and the Champions - I feel like maybe there's an interesting meta about Scott's lack of power in early Krakoa #gotta brew on that a bit

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