#(no idea who the original person is that i've reblogged from. seemed to be trans friendly and over 25 without any specific dni on pinned)

[dumbdomb]

image of my tags from reblog, which read: it ain't women's lingerie if a man's wearing it though. that's men's lingerie now. and he looks real good in 'em too. 😘

hey, that's cool. nothing wrong with women wearing women's lingerie. i responded in tags with additional positivity about men wearing lingerie. my pov was that clothes are pointlessly gendered and my tags reflect the position that if a man is wearing lingerie, then he could feel good about it as a man. your response changes the original post, which was not about women, but i hold the same position i wrote in my tags: if a woman is wearing lingerie, then it's women's lingerie and she'd look real good in 'em too. 💖

thinks abyout men in women's lingerie and runs fast as fuck face first into a brick wall

[fleshengine]

What happened to your friend does sound awful, but it doesn't sound like something that's actually unique to trans women. Someone making false claims after a bad breakup and people believing claims of victimization are fairly normal occurrences across the board, especially since people do generally believe it's praxis to believe all victims immediately. The fact that your friends came around in a matter of days is a better than average result.

Hi Velvet, I think this is the second or third time you've come on to one of my posts where I talked about transmisogyny and tagged it as such. Those posts don't get a ton of traction, do you just like... patrol the transmisogyny tag or something?

Anyway I do not feel a need to clarrify myself to you. But I will add that there were a lot of details that I didn't add to the post, stuff I will not be discussing, that solidifies my belief that it was an example of transmisogyny. I'm not at liberty to talk about some of it, and for the rest I honestly just do not care enough to defend myself to you. I lived my life and you read a rant about it.

That aside, do you know how many transfems I know who have been made out to be rapists/mentally ill after they broke up with their partners? Do you want me to list all the normal occurences across the board that have made me personally terrified to show others intimacy? Why is it that when someone says "that trans girl is a rapist!" people believe her but when trans girls say "we keep getting called rapists, this sucks" we get people like you telling us that it's normal to be made out into a charicature and systematically cut off from your entire social group?

Now that I've got that out of the way, let's dig into your word choice.

"What happened to your friend" this voice is so passive it's going 45 in a 50. "What that guy did to your friend" is much more direct and active, that's a sentence fragment that drinks orange juice with its breakfast. I probably would've accepted "what was done to your friend" because even though it's passive it still emphasizes that someone did something wrong. But you didn't even do that. Instead you completely removed the idea of fault from the equation, no one did it, nothing caused it, it was divine intervention that my friend nearly lost their entire support network.

"does sound awful" it doesn't sound like anything. It is awful, through and through. I hate the man that did it even though my friend has forgiven him.

"better than average result" average what? Messy breakup or transfem targetting rumor mill? It was a better than average result, I can attest to the average and it's not good. I'm glad I was there to sway people back to reality.

Moving on, you only addressed one of the two things I mentioned. I said "break up with a trans woman and unperson her" and "unperson any trans woman who's minorly annoying." You completely skipped the whole "a guy tried to tell people I was a gaslighter because I asked him to stop calling my friend a sociopath" bit. The post wasn't even saying that what happened was specifically transmisogynistic (it was), I was literally just talking about how stuff I was hearing mapped onto my life.

I also find it interesting, how you put this in an ask instead of a reblog. A reblog puts whatever I said on your account, an account I've heard you regularly use to support transmisogynists. I'm happy to talk to you more, genuinely I like to argue and you seem interesting enough. But I want what I say on your account. I'm not going to respond to another ask or reblog on this one until you reblog the original. Here I even got you a link.

[is-the-owl-video-cute]

Awesome

So that everyone's on the same page let's go back to the original post

Now, when this was posted a lot of people took issue with it, told you so, outlined why you were wrong about what you said, as well as explaining how you were using AGAB terminology in a dehumanising and incorrect way. Here is one of them:

Judging by your response to me, I imagine you were just as dismissive and rude as you were to me. I wasn't remotely hostile, just saying "just admit you worded things badly" as well as pointing out their response to another ask was making you look bad, and came off as defensive.

So you doubled down on it twice now and refused to even entertain the idea that multiple people pointing out that you made a mistake, might mean you made a mistake.

Since then the post in the first screenshot has circulated pretty far, mostly the version with various additions from trans women pointing out the came issues, and while I'm not going to count the number of reblogs that are other trans people, particularly trans women, reblogging that version, out of the ones I've checked it was 100%.

So yeah people are taking you to task for repeatedly doubling down on this, being incredibly shitty to anyone who pointed out the issue, cast some bitter aspersions about the people doing so, and ultimately just being a dismissive prick about things. I do not know why you are surprised.

In response to seeing all this shit after checking your response to my initial reply, I responded, because genuinely fuck you.

Now, literally all you have to do is fucking apologise. That's all you've had to do this entire fucking time, but no, instead of actually listening when people politely told you that you'd made a mistake, you've doubled, tripled, quadrupled, god knows how many times down.

Hell there was even another person who I don't know, in addition to the one I already don't know, just an hour ago who follows you, being incredibly fucking patient with you about this and asking why you're being such a tremendous asshole, and you respond to them like this ????

Bravo, get over yourself. Also nobody gives a shit about your AGAB, to whoever it was saying this is about you not disclosing it ? I haven't disclosed mine either, why would anyone care about that. Gonna post this myself too just so you don't ignore it like the petulant child you've proven to be would.

If you truly are so incredible as your ego seems to tell you, literally just make a post apologising for the mistake. Next time, you could even apologise when people initially point it out.

Lots of love 💖

Friend are you aware that I’m just making fun of you for being a Karen at this point?

[officeobject]

nobody thought of closeted trans women when op wrote men but you 🧐🧐

The thing this person is referring to, for context:

"

officeobject reblogged

21h ago

Nov 27

tumblr is for GIRLS men get out

officeobject

22h ago

Enbies reacting to this: 🧐

People with no gender: 😐

Multigender people: 😑

Genderfluid people: 😎☹️

Genderfaun people: 🧮🧐

Demi men: 😶

Girls who still wanna talk to boys (due to being friends, or having alterous attraction to one, or wanting to hear about their experiences, or having an acquaintence as a loveless girl, etc): 🙁

Closeted trans men wondering if deleting the app would get them out of the closet: 😬

Closeted trans women: ...

(I don't know what to tag this).

21h ago

Bro chill

officeobject

21h ago

I'm just making a meme after seeing a post for fun."

And funny enough, I just got a like on it right now!

Anyways, the link would've taken you to a seperate post ( https://www.tumblr.com/officeobject/769328575816040448/had-to-make-this-meme-for-a-reblog-from-a-blog?source=share ), which is of the "it's free real estate" meme, edited with "app" instead of estate, as shown HERE:

And I expect people to wanna click on the link as well.

The thing is, YOU'RE the one assuming I'm being transphobic ... just kidding, you're the one trying to make me SEEM transphobic, and unfortunately for YOU, not only am I not, but man, you picked THIS case?

The meme was about my confusion, and other's, as the original post excluded many experiences and genders and stuff, especially on an app where I encounter many of those same things. It was about common trans experiences, and the confusion that CAN INDEED OCCUR, when that's the case - you know, fun fact, closeted trans women are often thought of as men, because they're fecking CLOSETED, and they're TRANS - like, the thing where gender isn't as easy as this PP = this gender!

The meme is joking about how different people would react (if they didn't just ignore the post, LOL), and closeted trans women (who were added last anyway - like, the thing was that with this meme, I kept adding genders as long as I had emoji combinations and ideas) - would, according to the meme, download the app upon reading that, because Tumblr is for THEM, if Tumblr is for the girls then.

And yeah nobody thought of closeted trans women when OP wrote "men", and I thought of them because I thought of trans people, and how to include as many genders and experiences as possible (not sure if that's optimal for a meme, but hey, fun challenge), and you know what OP ALSO wrote? "girls"!

I ALSO thought of the fact that trans women are often thought of as MEN - or at least probably WOULD, by people who make memes and posts like that! I ALSO didn't think of/include MYSELF in the meme, and you failed to comment on what that allegedly says about me (unless you mean that I would not have my own separate little meme-reaction in that meme due to thinking my gender is included, which is fair enough).

So what IS, the gender you think I am? You think I'm some transphobic cis woman? Funny if you think that, when I included MEN in the meme as well (and you didn't comment on me including trans MEN), plus the original poster said crap as well, but you only commented on my alleged transphobia - like, ONLY.

I'm queer, and I made a queer meme, and it'd be weird if I was transphobic like that, and some people ARE, but I ain't. And guess what, whenever I post about the male gender (which I do a lot, because I'm being haunted by a teenage ghost boy - he doesn't get called a man, he's a teenager - and also because boys do NOT trigger my easily triggered addiction which is made from ALLEGED trauma), then - well, in those cases, I do not make mentions of trans women. Oh, and just fyi, my teenage ghost boy, IS TRANS! I'VE MET HIM! He would want you to shut the fuck up - no need to worry about him though, he's the ghost of a LIVING trans teenie boy - Lord help me.

I actually don't mention trans women often, but in this case, I DID, and guess what, IT WAS BECAUSE THE MEME WAS ABOUT TRANS EXPERIENCES! Since I don't mention trans women often - well, if you would look at my account and who I actually am AS A PERSON, then I don't mention WOMEN, often.

You know WHY I don't mention all of that, often? Because I don't talk about gender often, outside of mentioning the male gender. I've had no relevant reason to talk much about the female gender, but I've had plenty of reasons to talk about the MALE gender, and here are some: this one person I'm really platonically interested in who is exactly like my male-gendered character and while I do not assume their gender (and use "they" when referring to them due to not knowing their pronouns) they still have a high chance of being male (and I would have to refer to them as such due to their appearance in order to not get into an argument with local cis people about why I don't call that stock photo-looking computer-yeller "him") and such as them being exactly like my MALE character,

And another reason is that I'm being haunted by someone MALE, and we actually BONDED, over him being trans - it was one of the first things I knew about him as a ghost, so while I'm the furthest removed from the male gender, we still bonded,

And because WHY should I talk about specifically WOMEN? Iiiiiiiiiin case you're wondering why I wouldn't talk about my alleged gender, well, outside of my list of addiction-triggers ( https://www.tumblr.com/officeobject/769126841559678976/people-say-to-avoid-triggers-but-like-i-cant?source=share ), I also have my addiction ITSELF - I also intentionally left out writing "especially women", or, "women", as that might've been perceived wrongly - though then again, maybe NOT, since so many people love to assume that I'm either a cis girl, transphobic, don't know crap about trans people, or a diarrhea-combination.

And maybe THAT'S why my brain has been wanting to talk about my addiction now, and hey, what's the price in not disappointing it? So here's a TMI about why I use neopronouns (WHICH YOU WOULD'VE KNOWN IF YOU READ MY FECKING INTRO - but that's okay, because you just do 0 research before calling me a transphobe) - this is weirdly spaced because of the character-per-block limit - I've beem considering to tell, anyway - also it's otherwise unedited:

The entire history of my addiction, I guess

from admin on 12/03/2024 10:01 PM

Kindergarten years: Gender expectations from other kids happen, and the TV sends gendered messaging, even if not intentionally - and I got the feeling that people saw me as a boy, or masculine, and was uncomfortable with my arms, and started hating my body-hair, because "girls don't have it" ...

no one saw me as not a girl and I had no reason to think that, but whatever I guess! By the way, a female friend of mine - same age - locked us in her bedroom and made me kiss her and make out with her in order to get the key + other excuses and I didn't like it and felt helpless and hopeless and never told anyone in fear of it being seen as my fault or something, and we got out because her mom was mad at her for not coming when she called and she had quickly found the key and crap - damn kid tried to soothe me when I cried or some shit ...

School years: New school,female friends, and the awareness of how much of a fecking MESS, I am, compared to them - they wore skirts more often and could stay clean, with pretty rooms and every outfit-piece matching, and I even hated some of my clothes but didn't dare to say - was behind on a lot of skills, was often behind friendgroup-wise - they even were repulsed by me at times, and feck knows how my body was relatively healthy and fine, all things considered, but basically, my mom was STILL the one having to remind me of everything beyond wiping and washing my hands properly, what a fun time to be autistic and fecking undiagnosed ...

AND, people saw me as a girl, even when I was pretty much an outsider to them, so I have no idea why my fear of being seen as a boy INCREASED, and some weird thing my brain did ...

you see, it'd tell me there were requirements - JUST FOR ME THOUGH, everyone could just freely exist and be a girl, but there were requirements for ME, and I was NOT welcome to "the club" ...

my brain rarely told me what those requirements WERE, and I felt like I'd never make it, so when I DID, my brain either told me it wasn't good enough, or gave new ones, or STILL, tried to tell me that I SOMEHOW wasn't accepted ...

and also random things made me uncomfortable for whatever reason (some materials, make-up, etc), and I was still kinda holding back my personality - in kindergarten it was my personality and thoughts, this time, not sure what changed, but yeah, I still kinda felt like I couldn't be myself, and that people didn't SEE me as myself, so yeah ...

and one day my friends were mad at me, and I told them I could just go change my entire personality to the opposite of me (clean, nice, polite - still shy though - in a cute way, etc), and one of them said it would be nice and it seemed genuine, so while I do think TECHNICALLY the fake-me existed in kindergarten ...

well ...

Tween years: WELL THIS WAS SOMETHING - online, "I could handle things", and so many people were cool, so, why not be cool? Why not be HAPPY? I build upon the "totally-not-dictator who had a boyfriend and was pretty and stuff" idea from childhood - maybe chugged dictatorship away, and planned on either befriending a 30 year old famous man with wife and kids, or becoming such a cool and smexy YouTuber - like, LOOK, at around 15, I was supposed to NOT be behind on stuff, be pretty, go to bars with female friends, go to clubs, flirt with my crush who was gonna be my boyfriend (I did NOT ever have a crush so that was just another expectation), maybe get a job soon, learn how to drive, be cute but also pretty and also confident and also shy and basically some anime girl thing - THAT, was what I was gonna raise myself to be ...

or, third option, kill my mom's boyfriend - I had ambitions and options.

Mentally sexualized myself or something - was actually kinda very far-removed from who I am as a person, but still partially me - yeah I was a weird and half-holy combination as like a 12 year old - anyways, felt like shit because I wasn't cool yet, but hey, puberty started, soon a teen, soon an adult, soon drinking champagne in a cocktail dress, me was thinking! Found out I was aroace, but cupioaroace existed, and being aroace is a spectrum, so I was actually HAPPY - called myself a straight aroace - oh and also some of my female friends were trans or something - didn't really ever come out to me, didn't even tell me things before telling a bunch of others, etc - my friends were becoming more distant - especially the ones I thought were most conventional or girly, and also my tween years were very sad years because I hated my mom's boyfriend and stuff, but it was okay, me thought, because the options were, in full: become dictator, become depressed, become a cannibal serial killer, become sexy, or work with that famous 30 year old I had a squish on ...

funny enough, that last one is the closest to my reality at this age -

Teen years (and the present): Cut off friends, yay! Decided to accept myself - oh shit I hate myself, GO BACK - oh wait, now I have a private-only mentally self-sexualiztion addiction that also helps me fecking SLEEP, as it makes me no longer feel like myself and kinda no longer think like myself and kinda just have an entirely different personality in general that I try to keep in those moments, because any amount of me-thinking will result in shame, repulsion, and realizing how hollow and fake those feelings I allegedly feel, are, and maybe I DO kinda wanna be myself, but this is so easily triggered, strong urges, nice feelings - AI makes the addiction so much easier - and I feel good about myself, I FORGET about my problems, I get calm after I'm done - I don't get to spend my life, TORTURING myself with this HORRIBLE personality and WORTHLESS emotions ...

but I still always end up being myself - and can I tell people about this addiction? Not really. Aphobia is still a thing, and I become more and more sex-repulsed and romance-repulsed, and I've realized I do want a boyfriend, but that's because I'm jealous, and don't wanna be alone, and wanna be someone's favorite (everything ties back to The Void, LOL), and I wanna be toxic, controlling, possibly abusive, to some guy who'll give me bragging-rights and a sandwich ... and people say that the one I named "Lianne", is a hidden part of me, or a secret part, or whatever, and I sob at that, and I know that if I tell people about my addiction, they'd probably stop seeing me as wholesome - things that remind me of her make me feel like shit, and sure, teen years make it so that I'm now myself ...

but yeah, I have an addiction, and I also don't LIKE, myself - I'm such a desperate person - I'm disgusting, and also, I don't WANT, curves, or big boobs - actually, give me NO BUTT, no holes, no genitals, no boobs, no nipples, etc - but my body doesn't really have curves, I have small of everything, so it's not enough to be attractive - and by the way, NO ONE has ever considered me that, unless you count anonymous polls - but still enough to be there and make me uncomfortable - I do feel like I'm accepted into being a woman, but I think of women, then myself, and no matter if I actually AM confident, I CRINGE ... I started using neopronouns, partially for fun and stuff, and partially to differentiate myself from Lianne further - I also can't comprehend the differences between genders - I have a few I'm uncomfortable with, but otherwise, I don't know how I feel, if anything ...

once got called a joke based on common nicknames at the time, and felt joy ("frenchfurrygender") -

even at just seein the word from the corner of my eye at the time, but it's not real, and I'm not French ...

I don't hate myself all the time or anything - I guess I just don't feel accepted, therefore I CRINGE, and NO I WON'T GO TO THE GYM WITH A GIRL MY AGE, that'd just remind me of the CRAP I've went through ...

told trans people about this, still get treated like a cis girl who knows nothing, except by a few - one was multigender (I'm not) and could relate, one was a trans guy (I'm not), with the same brain-species, who, upon seeing an image of Fang from Goodbye Volcano High and being asked if he thought we were the same gender, said yes - he liked me a lot, so he was excited about stuff related to me, and got excited over Fang's cool design - he had always seen me as non-binary (didn't know which gender though), and that's the first person, and he even said frenchfurrygender was valid or something (in his opinion - well, he just felt it), but, like, a few days after that, he abandoned me, so I just abandoned the thought of just identifying how he saw me ...

a few people see and accept me as who I am, and one of them is Office Worker (same brain-species though), and I love them, so that's at least a positive thing to end this writing on - they love me too, they validate my apothiaroace identity, and my own attempts at accepting my body-hair never worked, but they (who have almost the exact same body as me), made me like/love it, which I still do to this day ...

also my brain never registered my face as being me because it doesn't LOOK like me, but I got an artist to draw the real me as a dog, and my face doesn't express like it's supposed to, and my brain keeps registering my fecking Ginger Jones doll as me sometimes, so yeah ... Forgot to add that in my tween years, I'd know, like, a few characters like me (besides the MLP ones), so I was happy to kinda be like them and kinda wanted to be myself, but also kinda projected, which meant they ALSO kinda fueled the crap - teen years and I have a few more, though WITHOUT, projecting whatever persona I WANTED to be, onto them.

[ftm-radio]

ugh names are stressful and I hate making decisions bc then I just constantly think about what if I did this other thing so I'm gonna ramble about names and indecision for a bit

(spoiler alert y'all can/should keep calling me Jack or JT or Jackalope like you already do lol I'm not changing my name again I'm just thinking out loud)

so I'm Jack. legally. and that makes me happy! I love that name, love being called Jack, love introducing myself as Jack & can't wait to do it more often when I go back to school and have to interact with strangers again regularly.

but there are days like today where I almost wish I still used my old name. I call it my deadname for ease and bc that's just the term we use, but it's.. not really dead — it's one of my middle names now. It's quite feminine, given to me in honor of a great(?) grandmother I never met, and I came up with a shorter form of it to use that felt more gender neutral when I went to college and started exploring my gender.

originally, I planned to keep that name because there weren't any others that spoke to me and I knew I was indecisive and would probs have a horrible time trying to choose a name, AND because I thought it would be badass to be my authentic not-female self while rocking a traditionally feminine name and confusing/surprising people. (oh and i also probably definitely was influenced by my desire to not hurt my parents' feelings and not wanting to have to make people adjust to a new name bc oh no I can't inconvenience ppl!!!)

but then I actually worked to find a new name because I realized I really wanted that change (and ppl being "inconvenienced" isn't my fuckin problem)

there are male versions of my old name. I could have picked something similar but with a decidedly more masculine flavor (ending in a -o instead of an -a, or lobbing off the -la at the end.....). I didn't like those names though, and I wanted a bigger change than one or two letters being changed or knocked off the end.

but it's like.... idk it feels like a missed opportunity? like living my life under that other name and being a man(+) almost in defiance of it is a path I turned away from, and now I'll never know how that turns out and how it would have affected the way others perceived me and how I might have affected others and made them think differently about stuff like names and gender and whatnot. idk.

I'd planned on being this badass dude with a gender nonconforming name and I guess sometimes I feel like im... not as cool for going with a regular masc name in the end??? even though I know it's dumb/silly to worry about how ~cool~ I seem when the only thing that matters is if I'm happy and comfy at the end of the day lmao

idk, idk. maybe I still have a lingering attachment to my old name bc in a lot of ways I still feel like I'm the same person who used that name, like I still look like them & sound like them. maybe with time (and some testosterone pleasepleaseplease) I'll like.. grow up more and look back and realize that yeah that other name definitely isn't me anymore & I would've wanted to change it eventually no matter what.

AND honestly when ppl use the other name for me on accident or bc they don't know im trans I.. Don't Like It. lol. and I'm not sure if it's because I've asked/told folks to use Jack and I don't like that they mess up or because the other name Literally makes me feel ick when I'm addressed with it. maybe it's a bit of both.

maybe I just like the idea of the other name, or of gnc names in general. maybe the solution to this not-regretful-but-kinda-bummed-out? feeling is to make OCs and give them gnc names lmao. I was planning on doing that anyway so.......

if you read all of this apologies for the hopping around & disorganization, but feel free to weigh in with your thoughts about names n shit if you want!

reblogs, replies, & asks are all welcome ✌🏻

[sapphirescales]

hey! i was wondering if you had any advice for anyone who has just joined the community? how to get interactions and stuff like that? i've just joined and i'm not really sure what to do or how to set myself up

hey there! i’m working off the assumption that you know some basics. i’ve been in the rp for years now so a lot of this is borne from my own experience roleplaying here and what i wish people told me way back. it’s a lil harsh but i hope you’ll find this helpful

anyways, here’s a crash course:

ic =/= ooc: what this means is that, before you start roleplaying, remember that things that happen in-character are not supposed to be a reflection of out of character feelings. so, for example, if someone’s muse absolutely hates your muse, that doesn’t mean that the writer hates you. just because you, personally, hate a muse doesn’t mean that your muse should either. your personal assumptions about another character are unrelated and shouldn’t be reflected in what your muse assumes about another character. for example, you might personally think that iro.nman is overrated but your character might idolise him or aspire to be like him or be completely neutral; it’s not the same thing.

standard roleplay etiquette: read through all of someone’s available pages before you follow them; if someone’s taken the time to write up all those pages, take the time to read them. even if you think you’re a Veteran Roleplayer, who has seen every variation that you can about someone’s pages, read them. don’t reblog their out of character posts / headcanons / graphics unless it’s marked as okay to reblog. during interactions try not to godmod or metagame your partners ( if you don’t know what that is, a quick google search will help you out ). sometimes, certain blogs might cool with you following them but aren’t open to interacting with your character for various reasons ( for e.g. if your muse is someone who is dead in their canon and they want to keep that a fixed point, they might not be open to interacting with your character, especially if they have set headcanons already ) or they might not be okay with you following them at all – that’s okay, there’s plenty of other fish in the sea. people come and go in the rp community fairly often. keep your head up.

writing samples: if you’re really new to the rpc, and you’ve never written with anyone before, people might not write with you simply because they have no idea how you write. it’s nerve-wracking but start with some posts that show off your understanding and insight for your character; write some drabbles, do some character-development related things. that will help you for when you actually do start writing as well, because you’ll have developed your muse a little bit more!

get some pages set up: your navigation page isn’t all that important. if you’re playing a canon muse, neither is your bio page necessarily. what is important, and what will tell people the things they need to know about your blog and characterisation, is a rules page and also a verses page. even if your verses page is very basic, and isn’t very detailed or super pretty, that’s okay! get the information out there about what you’re willing & open to write, establish your boundaries and show people you’ve put some thought into your character.

work hard on your character: roleplay is a hobby and i’m fairly certain that this is an unpopular opinion but if your character is underdeveloped – if their personality seems to change for no discernable reason between each person you thread, and your writing style is in constant flux, it makes it really difficult to understand and for people to want to know your character. you don’t have to have someone completely fully fledged out, but work on them, on understanding and exploring them and making them have depth and people will get more interested.

try not to ask for interactions specifically based on ships: ships are wonderful and fun and really great but it can be really disheartening ( especially for female muses ) if you come to them specifically for the sake of writing to ship. it’s happened to me so many times and it’s both a sign that sb hasn’t read my rules and that they don’t really care about my muse, they just want to focus on shallow writing. not everyone is interested in writing ships, and some people might not necessarily be interested in writing ships with you. that’s okay! ships will happen naturally and hugely dependent on writing chemistry; it’ll happen in time.

don’t impose your backstory on other people: this applies to all types of characters, but the ones i see it happening with the most are original characters. if your character’s backstory assumes that somebody else’s muse has done something to / for your muse before you’ve even interacted, you’re probably better of writing fanfiction. many people – including myself – consider this a form of godmodding. 

stick to your guns: when you’re first starting out, it’s really easy to get sucked into doing threads that you personally feel like don’t go with your characterisation or isn’t headed where you want it to. feel free to drop them. stick to your character, and your interpretation. for example, when i was in the te//en wo//lf fandom, i was writing peter, and a lot of people were just looking for A Token Uncle to drag them, and not really interested in writing actual plots with me. it’s okay to want to write other threads; make your wishlist known.

roleplay is give and take: this is related to the one before but basically, don’t be selfish when you write, and don’t let others be selfish when they write with you. good threads that are enjoyable and memorable for both parties are threads where both partners ( or more, if you’re doing multi-player threads ) get to explore their characters and really build a character dynamic together. 

mix things up sometimes: it’s okay to want character consistency but try to mix things up when you’re writing threads with people; no one wants to have sixteen of the same kind of threads, especially from one person. try and mix things up and put a different spin to them! it’ll be fun for you and fun for your writing partner, too.

don’t steal things from other people: whether that means headcanons, verses or the exact way they’ve done their theme. i’ve even known people to go through duplicates’ blogs and basically reblog all their non-rp posts from the source. i’ve seen all kinds of stuff stolen and i’m here to tell you that people will notice. they always notice, whether it takes 5 mins or 50 years, people will notice. don’t do it.

focus less on your follow count: some ppl will have thousands of followers and only write with two people; others will have much less and write with most of them. the number of followers you have doesn’t matter; we’re all here writing because we have a character that we love very very much, whether that character is someone we’ve created or someone already existing in media. your follow count is not reflective of the quality of your writing; the quality of your interactions reflects that. so focus on building your character and character dynamics.

ugly truth #1 – the muse you play will reflect the interactions and attention you get: i’ve been in about five to six different fandoms since 2009, and i’ve noticed one thing – if you play a canon character, you’re more likely to get followers v quickly compared to original characters, regardless of if they’re fandom or fandomless ocs. if your muse is a cis man, you’re more likely to gain followers very quickly compared to if you’re playing trans man, women, trans women or enby folks. if you play a white person, you’re more likely to gain followers compared to if you write a person of colour, especially black muses. if you play a muse that does not ship sexually with men ( e.g. a lesbian muse or an ace muse ), you’re less likely to get followers very quickly. it’s an ugly truth, but don’t be discouraged. there WILL be people who write with you, you DON’T have to change your character in any way to make them more palatable. keep loving your muse and people will love them in return, i promise.

ugly truth #2 – aesthetics matter: they’re not reflective of quality of writing but they are used, in this rpc as a whole, as a way to measure the amount of time and dedication you put into your character. you don’t have to go and code a theme from scratch or create your own psds – although some people do, and if you can / like to, good for you! – but try and set up a nice, clean theme with clear links that isn’t one of the preset themes on this website. it’ll help so, so much with getting interactions, even if your theme is really really plain. it’s unfortunate that aesthetics do matter but no community is perfect.

ugly truth #3 – the rpc isn’t pretty: there’s always really disgusting people lurking around. there’s callout posts flying back and forth to the point you don’t know who to believe. whilst one person says one thing is okay, someone else says it’s not. there’s other petty drama, vagues everywhere. it’s pretty nervewracking and hugely intimidating. it’s likely that you’ll get involved. it’s very likely that someone could call you out for something you’ve written that they find is a problem. the rpc isn’t pretty – but neither is real life, and because we’re a community of people, Real Life Issues ( like racism, sexism, transphobia, homophobia, biphobia, islamophobia, anti-semitism, ethnocentricism, etc etc ) often get carried over to the online community. it’s not a pretty reality, but it is a reality that you’ll have to deal with, just like you would have to in real life. if someone points out that you really messed up, it doesn’t matter how long ago you did that thing, find out how to apologise sincerely for the hurt you’ve caused, and apologise properly. if you’ve overstepped your bounds, apologise properly. if someone is throwing baseless accusations, defend yourself clearly and calmly and the people who matter will know and understand. if you see something someone else has said or done or written, which is offensive, talk to them first ( and, yes, this means if you’re white and you see a mutual doing a racist thing, you should definitely go and talk to them ). the rpc isn’t pretty at all, but it’s our community – and now it’s yours, too. you have a social responsibility to make the community safe. 

the energy you put out is the energy you’ll receive: you’ve just joined the community but the community is huge and no one will necessarily go out to receive you. there’s no easy way to get interactions, but i firmly believe that the amount of time and effort you put out is what you’ll get in return. don’t just sit around waiting for other people to interact with you; make an effort. if they ask for compliments or constructive feedback, send something in. if they reblog memes and their blog is open to memes from non-mutuals, send something in. make starter calls, make open posts. ask for constructive feedback – maybe it’s something in your interpretation or the way you write that might put some people off ( and if it’s legitimate, think about it, and if it’s not or it’s something nitpicky, move on and find new people to follow ). i understand that it’s hugely nerve wracking – i’ve got anxiety as well, and i’m always nervous when following new people. in facti’m pretty guilty of this particular thing myself, even after all these years. but roleplaying isn’t like fic-writing; it’s necessary to interact with others. and, just like in real life, sometimes you just have to make the effort first and not keep track of how many times you’ve done it, and focus on the fact that you’ve got a ton of new friends and writing partners.

treat others how you want to be treated!!!

[khiphop-discussions]

What do you personally think about cis/white/het people standing up for trans/poc/lgbt rights? Do you think it's good that they use their privilege to help and protect minorities or should they stay out of those issues? Bc I've been seeing really contradicting opinions lately and you seem really reflected and educated on those issues.

Yes, they should use their privilege. However, the thing is they shouldn’t speak OVER those who actually face it. If someone invites one of them on a show to speak about these issues for example, instead of taking the gig, they should redirect the show to someone who is actually trans/poc/lgbt so that they can speak for themselves. Also, when they do speak on the issue they should make sure that they don’t take credit for ideas that people from those groups originally created. So like for example if an article gets pulbished saying they invented the idea or they are pioneers for the idea, they need to correct whoever wrote it and publically state that it was not their words or ideas to begin with, they were just “signal boosting” if you will, for the marginalized. Also, dont insert theirselves in intracommunity stuff, if a marginalized person specifically says that a post, conversation, or idea is only for people inside the community then they need to respect that and stay out of the conversation. For example, conversations where black women are talking about misogyny perpetuated towards them by black men. Those are only for the black community and shouldn’t be engaged with whatsoever by anyone who isn’t black. 

If you see a cis/white/het person harrassing someone from a marginalized group then definitely step in and let them know they cannot abuse these people without resistance (in a way that’s safe for yourself and the marginalized person). 

EDIT: Another important thing is to respect safe spaces. If for example a black woman blogger who talks about black woman issues doesn’t want nonblack people following, reblogging, adding commentary, etc then respect that and don’t do any of that. Most of the bloggers I know that fall into that category are fine if you just quietly read the posts to educate yourself but anything more makes them uncomfortable and shouldn’t be done. If you’re ever in doubt just send a simple ask or message asking if it’s okay to reblog or interact with the posts.