#(lol.) and her totally trusting lean against him | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

clubdionysus · 6 months ago

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[BAD DECISION #21] Doing The 'Right' Thing

warnings: christmas is upon us! secret santa, yay!! jiyeong, booo! no major warnings! the arrival of b's bird hehe. some of my fave jimin parts are in this lol (he's one of my faves)

soundtrack: touch - keshi

wc: 10.1k

bd total wc: 540k (ongoing)

AO3 | MASTERLIST | MINORS DNI

An emptiness echoes down your apartment corridor, dim lights flickering above you, as you make your way home after practically running away from Jeongguk's bed.

A new bulb has been needed for a couple of weeks now, but your landlord doesn't care enough to change it. As long as the electricity runs and the water flows through taps, he thinks all is fair. Sure, you could change it - but Danbi gives you a firm 'why on earth would you do that?' every single time you suggest it.

It's for this reason - the shrouded darkness and the bleary hungover eyes - that you almost think you're seeing things as you notice an object by your apartment door.

A bouquet. White roses. An easy dozen, of which you'll undoubtedly count as soon as you're close enough. The stems are emerald green, fresh and perfectly picked to construct the most beautiful arrangement you think you've ever seen.

Poised and pristine, they look out of place in your apartment block - but you know they'll look right at home on your kitchen counter in the vase Danbi stole from her family home a couple of holiday seasons ago (you'd just been using a pint glass beforehand (again, stolen by Danbi's nimble fingers, just from your local pub instead of her mother's kitchen cupboard)).

You tell yourself it's strange. Let your head whisper little lies as white as the rose petals, telling you that you can't imagine who'd be sending either of you flowers. Perhaps Tae for Danbi? A secret admirer?

But you know. You know who picked them out, who sent them directly to your door. You know who always chose the black and white design of the minimalist greeting card wedged in between the flowers.

You know, because you got these flowers a week after your first date with him . Got them after the fifth date, just because. You got them on your birthday. Valentines. First anniversary.

You got them, again, after that one argument when you'd sworn down he tasted like latex, which was strange, because protection had been off the cards for months by that point. You trusted him.

The last time you got them was a week after the breakup. Again, just because. Just so you knew he was thinking of you. Asshole .

And so you don't check the card. Just pick up the pot they're prettily displayed in, and type your door code in with a sigh. You lean your shoulder against the heavy steel to open it up, a little exhausted by the events of the night and the emotional labour you know looking at those flowers will have on you.

They're too pretty to throw away, mind you - and when you look at Danbi's mother's vase, you're sad to see the flowers given to you by Jeongguk in the sanctuary of his favourite cafe are now withered and pathetic. The water has all but evaporated away, and rogue leaves lay by the base of their glass holder. Shame.

What once were the most fantastic wild blooms are now skeletons of their former selves.

S'what you get for tearing the stems from their life source. How can you ever expect them to thrive in hostile conditions?

And so Jins's roses will take pride of place in your home, and you'll pretend not to care.

They'll replace what was left to wither by Jeongguk, and you'll ignore the fact it was you who should have tried harder to keep them alive.

Congratulations on the art show. Proud to see your progression. Sorry I couldn't be there. J x reads his calling card - and as much as you know you should really tear it up and feed it to the recycling bin, you can't bring yourself to. It's stuck on the fridge beneath a 'Welcome to Vietnam' magnet purchased in the airport during a layover, not because you've ever actually visited the country.

It'll stay there for months. Danbi won't think to discard it, and you'll forget that you ever put it there.

In fact, you don't notice it again until a few weeks later as you're rushing around, running late for dinner, grabbing a bottle of fizz from the fridge.

The flowers have all dried up now, tossed in the trash, and the vase is empty. They lasted not even a week before they began to wilt. Typical of Seokjin, you had supposed at the time. Permanence isn't his thing.

Slamming the fridge door shut, you don't have a chance to even consider getting rid of the note - but you do think that you should, and that's something at least. It's not like you've heard from him since that night.

Hell, you've barely heard from Jeongguk.

Little messages here and there have been exchanged, but nothing substantial. Nothing that addresses the night you spent in his bed. In fact, you're pretty sure he's been spending his nights in someone else's bed recently.

It's not an unfathomable thought to have. It's been about a month since you set up his blind date, and Jiyeong is apparently doing the hardest soft launch known to man. It's not even subtle at this point. Her Instagram stories - of which constantly seem to be updating - are littered with the essence of Jeongguk.

Mugs from the ceramic painting place were the first clue. A selfie of her in his jacket, the second. The third was a blurry club photo of a hand you wished you didn't recognise so well loosely holding onto hers in the midst of a crowd. You wonder if it was taken on the night of the art show, or if they've been clubbing together since that night, just the two of them.

You forget the fourth, and the fifth, and the sixth, and now there's been so many damn stories you've lost count. Just know that the most recent one was a mirror selfie from the gym, carefully cropped so that the guy who had been spotting her was out of frame - but his tattooed arm? Yeah . She'd left that in.

You wonder whose company he prefers in the gym, and know that it's hers. At least that way he can actually properly work out. You're aware he'll get glares of jealousy from the gym bros who have a thing for Jiyeong, unlike the confused stares of the same gym bros who had wondered why the fuck a muscle rat like Jeongguk was wasting time on cardio with a girl who preferred sitting on a stationary treadmill rather than running on it.

Danbi had laughed at your scowl when you stumbled across the story a few days ago. Told you to be careful. "If the wind changes, your face will get stuck like that."

Good , you thought. Maybe it should. Then Jeongguk would permanently be reminded of how insufferable you find this whole situation.

You couldn't care less about the fact he's dating. Couldn't care less for the fact he's dating her - hell, you'd been the one to set it up! What is bothering you is how quiet he's been. It feels like you've barely spoken to him all month - but rational thinking seems to go out of the window when it comes to him.

See, the thing, Jeongguk's silence? His avoidance of you?

It doesn't exist.

In your head, maybe, but not in reality. You're orchestrating some great loss for no good reason.

There's been no real change to how he communicates with you. He still messages you just as much. He'd sent you a tinyURL link just the day before just to disguise what he was really sending you - the breadfish website. It was like being rickrolled in the big year of 2022. Made you smile like a fucking idiot behind the desk of the art cafe. Hobi had looked at you like you had three heads when the song echoed into the room.

But you simply added a laugh reaction emoji to Jeongguk's message and locked your phone as if it hadn't made your day.

You're the one avoiding him .

And - fucking hell - you'd only seen him four days ago! Had gone for a post-gym coffee walk. Had spoken about everything - the science of pollination, your favourite supermarkets (Homeplus reigned supreme), the best song of 2009 (which had ended in the promise of a noraebang battle, because you couldn't decide between fireflies (even though Jeongguk couldn't remember owlcity's name) or good girls go bad (which also resulted in you explaining Gossip Girl lore he never asked for)) - and anything... everything and anything... apart from Jiyeong. You didn't mention her. Nor did he.

It's not like you've mentioned sharing a bed with him that one night either, so avoiding uncomfortable topics isn't entirely unheard of.

Thing is, you've both been pretending like things are absolutely normal. Still grab coffee together, still send each other dumb raccoon memes, still look for each other on Friday nights in the dark shadows of Dionysus.

The way you see it, if you don't make a big deal of things, they don't have to be a big deal. You've downplayed it all. Pretended like there hasn't been a weight on your chest since you left his apartment that morning.

That's one difference, you guess. You've not returned to his since.

That's what you're really missing; the sanctuary nurtured with Jeongguk in the confines of his room. Home away from home. 'The kids'.

But your head's all frazzled, and you've been trying not to focus on it too much. Just continue lying to yourself, as if an Oscar is dependent on your performance. You've gotten so good at acting as if you're happy with the current set up, you're managing to fool everyone - including yourself.

Hurrying down the stairs of your apartment, you know that your acting skills have to be on top form tonight. Can't be letting the pesky mask slip. Have worn extra glitter to keep it in place.

Jimin waits by the end of your road, engine running, eyes shamelessly on you as you head up the street towards him.

It's late December, and the shop windows are full of well-wishes for the upcoming festivities and special offers for last-minute gifts.

In your bag, you're carrying a bottle of whisky for Yoongi and a luxury bath bomb set for Seoyeon. You've no idea if the whisky is any good, but it was on the top shelf, so you're hoping it's alright. As for the bath bombs, they're your favourite (and will leave Seoyeon with a sheen of your signature glitter all over her skin afterwards), so you're not so worried about them.

The presents are more to say 'thank you' for hosting the Christmas Eve dinner, and less so intended to be actual gifts. As a rule, to make life a little easier for everyone, Secret Santa had been organised a few weeks prior. No other gifts allowed - but not taking something for the hosts felt wrong.

Seoyeon had sorted everything out for Secret Santa, so it really had been stress-free.

Yours (intended for Jimin) has been wrapped for the best part of a week and is ready to go. It sits snug in your bag, between Yoongi's whisky and your own bottle of vodka - it is Christmas, after all. The bottle of fizz you're holding by the neck? A little extra bit of festive liquid luck.

"Alright?" Jimin greets you with a smile as you pop open the passenger door and slip in beside him. Your bag is popped in the footwell, but you hold onto the prosecco.

"Happy Christmas," you smile - then glance up to check he hasn't put mistletoe above the handbrake. It's all clear. Surprisingly .

"What?" He asks, noticing the way your eyes dart around, but you dismiss his question.

"Just raring to go," you lie - and Jimin can see right through it. Doesn't care too much to ask any further.

He merges into oncoming traffic with ease. He's a smooth driver. Not as fast as Jeongguk, but just as competent. You know you shouldn't compare - but how can you not?

It was supposed to be Jeongguk giving you a lift to The Mins.

Was supposed to be him playing cheesy Christmas tunes and demanding you duet with him for the entire journey.

Was supposed to be him who stopped at a Mcdonald's drive-thru, 'cause he's addicted to the limited edition festive sauce that comes with the cheese bites.

Was supposed to be him who stopped in a side lane just down the road from Yoongi's place, so he could air his car out and make sure you both didn't smell like Maccies, knowing full well The Mins would be cooking up a storm.

Was supposed to be him .

And yet you're having to rely on Jimin - who you haven't seen since you last left his bedroom - to ferry you to Christmas Eve dinner.

It's not that you aren't grateful. Danbi is visiting family, and Hoseok always hangs out with his old school friends on Christmas eve, so you've been looking forward to this for weeks. It's always nice to be surrounded by people you care about, especially at this time of year. Far better than being alone.

"Spoken to Gguk today?" Jimin asks before he even bothers with other formalities. Knows that things have been a little... difficult, lately. Has noticed how antsy Jeongguk has been around the apartment. Short tempered. Impatient. Isn't sure if it's you or Jiyeong making him like this. Maybe both.

You're quiet for a moment as you wait for your phone to connect to his car speaker system. Are both amused and slightly disgusted by the name choice for his car - Park & Ride. A true lothario.

"Nope."

And then you realise that such a definitive answer makes way for a million questions, so you overcompensate.

"No need," you continue with a shrug. "He let me know that he couldn't do today, hence me asking if you could give me a ride - thanks, by the way - but other than that? I think we've both just been busy."

"Yeah," Jimin nods, then thinks, busy ignoring each other . "He actually asked me to give you a ride before you even called, so it's all good. No skin off my back.

"Thank you," you say regardless. "I really appreciate it."

"No bother," he shakes his head. "It's always good to have company - plus Yoongi lives so fucking far out of the city. I get bored alone."

"Well, consider me your very own entertainment system," you grin, as your phone finally connects to his radio system. His car is a lot different to Jeongguk's. No better, no worse. Just not the same.

Jimin doesn't force you to talk about Jeongguk like you half think he will. In fact, it's you who is the first one to mention him again.

"Bringing Jiyeong, isn't he?" You ask, trying to sound nonchalant.

He nods. "Mhmm. She wanted to spend Christmas with him, but he thinks it's too soon. This was his compromise, I guess."

You're silent for a moment, contemplating just what the fuck you've done to everyone's lives by setting him up with Jiyeong. Sure, it's not really a negative change, but it's a change nonetheless. Everyone's lives are affected by this. There'll be an extra seat at the table. Another present for Secret Santa.

Part of you doesn't understand why you're being so dramatic about it all. In the grand scheme of everything, Jiyeong changes nothing. Makes no difference if she's in attendance. The only thing it really changes is how Jeongguk will interact with you.

"That's nice," you say. You really want to mean it.

"Is it?" Jimin asks, his tone just as sincere as yours is trying to be.

"Mhmm," you nod. "It's good he's found someone."

Again, Jimin just asks, "is it?"

"Well, yeah?" You laugh softly. "I know he was hung up on Hayun for a while, so it's good that he's moving on."

Eyes on the road, Jimin smirks and gently shakes his head. "Think we've got different ideas of what 'hooked' means. Dumbass hasn't been hooked on her for months. Quite positively unhooked, if you ask me."

"Oh," you murmur. "Well, either way. It's nice having someone around this time of year."

"Is that what you're after?" He teases, knowing that you'd have had no problem trying to find that for yourself if you really wanted it.

"Couldn't think of anything worse," you grin - and you really do mean it. You've grown selfish in your singledom. Having to factor in someone else's feelings, their needs, their schedule, to your plans would just annoy you, you think.

You neglect to acknowledge how those things come without a second thought when you actually care about someone. It's not a chore, or an obligation. When you're into someone, you factor them in because life is better with them around. You'd rather disrupt your selfish ways to make room for them in your schedule.

"Me either, DB," Jimin agrees. "You're full of shit, though."

"Sorry?" You turn to face him, but his eyes are on the road, a smug smirk on his face.

"You're forgiven."

"No," you laugh. "Sorry as in 'what the fuck?' "

"That's far less polite," Jimin smiles, still, deliberately winding you up.

"So is telling someone they're full of shit!"

"Well, you are!" He laughs, looking up to the rear view mirror before he merges lane. "We both know if Gguk turned around and insisted on doing something that would disrupt your plans-"

"I'd tell him to wait his turn."

Jimin laughs again. "You're a liar."

"And you're a shit-stirrer."

He tilts his head a little, sticking his bottom lip out, as if he's considering your words - before conceding with a nod. "Yeah, you're not wrong. I just don't get the pair of you. Act like you're just friends, set each other up on blind dates, but shag ea-"

"Sorry?" You almost choke the second ' shag ' leaves his mouth.

"Forgiven," he smirks. "Again."

"Not what I meant," you protest. "Again."

"So what?" Jimin teases. "You're gonna pretend like you haven't?"

"We don't shag!" You almost shriek. It's not a lie. At least not anymore. "He's got a- well, I'm not really sure what they are, but it doesn't matter. He's seeing someone."

"So?"

"Oh my god," you say with even more horror than before. "Not everyone sluts themselves out for a quick thrill Jimin."

"True. But I do, and I know you do, too."

"You know no such thing."

"I've fucked you twice."

"Shut up."

"Is this what you're like with him, too?" He teases. It's all in good humour, but Jimin is trying to get under your skin.

Jeongguk wouldn't crack. Had said you'd rested some of your things on his chair when you came to say bye in the morning. Reckons you'd left it by accident.

Jimin's bed had been cold on the side that wasn't his and void of any perfume when he'd woken up. Knows you didn't sleep in his bed - but Jeongguk refused to admit anything, and so Jimin is seeing if you're easier to crack. Doesn't want the truth for truth's sake, but just because he loves being right.

"His skin ain't as thick as mine, poor baby needs a softer approach," Jimin adds. "Hope you're nice to him in bed."

"I've never been in his bed," you roll your eyes. "And poor baby ain't gentle in the slighte-"

"HA! So you are fucking him!"

"No!"

"Been trying to get the truth out of him for weeks," Jimin tells you.

"What truth?" You feign innocence once more.

" What truth? " He mimics, voice high in pitch and whiney - far whinier than you think yours actually is. "You're both as bad as one another. Why was your bra in his room after you fucked me?"

You're silent.

"It's a very simple question," he assures you.

You want to unbuckle your seatbelt, open the car door and roll onto the road. Don't care about the oncoming traffic. Would be far less painful than this conversation.

"The answer is simple, too," you say, deciding that deflection is the best way to go. "You're just not gonna believe anything I say unless it ends in an admission of us fucking."

"True," he concedes. "Look, I don't give a shit if you are. Accidentally gave him crabs once-"

"Sorry?"

"Forgiven," Jimin smirks, before deciding to just carry on with his declaration. "Was years ago, now. It's why he doesn't share towels. Anyways, what I'm saying is that we've shared weirder things."

"I'm not an object," you scoff a little, skipping the song that's softly humming from the speakers to something a little more lively. You're currently listening to some indie artist that Jeongguk had on once while he'd been studying during a hangout, and you don't like the constant reminders of him. The conversation is bad enough as it is.

"Nor were the crabs?"

Jimin, you decide, is one of the most complex people you've ever met. An interior designer with the simplest bedroom known to man; a charming lothario who is just as revolting as he is seductive. You're not really sure how he does it, but he does make you laugh at least. Mainly from confusion, but a laugh is a laugh. It's still enjoyable. He's nice to be around.

You're incompatible, to say the least, but he's fun, which is probably why you didn't mind going for round two - the more you get to know him though, the more you solidify the fact that round three is off the cards.

The rest of the drive goes without another mention of Jeongguk, and whether or not he's seen just as much of you as Jimin has. The man in the driver's seat is intuitive, though, and just knows . Doesn't need you to confirm it. Doesn't need Jeongguk to, either. Is content in his assumptions.

You're pleased to arrive before Jeongguk.

Seoyeon greets you with a hug as warm as a Daegu summer, and Yoongi's smile is just as toasty. Despite the freeze of winter months, the Min's cultivate a warmth that makes even the ondol seem redundant.

Yoongi studies the whisky with an impressed pout and a nod, reading over the label. "Good choice. Want some?"

Shaking your head, you pull out the vodka instead.

"Keep that away from Seoyeon," he jokes, which causes her to zoom back over to the pair of you with an enthusiastic smile.

"Keep what awa- oooh! Vodka," she grins. "Care to share?"

And so Yoongi's warning is redundant, because yes , you really would like to share. It's not that Yoongi doesn't want her drinking, it's just that he knows her like the back of his hand. Vodka always gets her a little too tipsy, and they've still got a meal to serve up - but if he has to take the lead, he'll take it, just so she can let her hair down a little. It's Christmas, after all. A time for celebrating.

Yet when Jeongguk arrives, Jiyeong in toe, you find yourself downing the dregs of your first drink just to wash down your apprehension. Don't feel like celebrating. Feel like commiserating. You've not been around Jeongguk while he's been with Jiyeong since Tae's art show.

Makes you think of the bar. Makes you think of your hand on his thighs in the dark shadows, and the heaviness of his presence behind you in the bathroom, wide eyes on his in the reflection of an aged mirror. Makes you feel guilty .

It's not like anything happened - but you condemn yourself because you know it wasn't right, even if it wasn't exactly wrong.

"Sorry we're late," he says, and it's bizarre how his voice alone settles the ache in your chest. "Traffic was a bitch."

He reaches behind himself for her hand, to guide Jiyeong further into the room. The way she holds it, and how her other hand wraps around his wrist makes you think now would be a great time for another drink. You chalk it up to your disdain for PDA - as if you hadn't watched on with a smile as Yoongi had pressed a tiny kiss against Seoyeon's head while she'd been pouring herself a drink.

PDA doesn't bother you at all. In fact, you'd once argued with Seokjin about the fact he never held your hand in public. Said he didn't like getting clammy palms.

Maybe that's it. Maybe you're jealous of the intimacy.

Jeongguk's made leaps and bounds since the first bird fell - but Jeongguk never had an issue with intimacy. That one was all on you. Trained by Seokjin, you've a lot to unlearn, even now. You weren't done with the birds. Nowhere near close.

Jeongguk's fear of rejection is still just as potent as your intimacy issues, he just masks it well. Lets Jiyeong take the lead. He doesn't reject her, but he doesn't open himself up for rejection either.

He glances over to you and nods, a small smile on his lips. Head to toe in black, he's dressed up a little bit. Is in slacks and a button-up, a leather belt around his waist. Still got his converse on, though. His dainty silver lip ring flips ever so gently, and it's like you've been drinking prosecco this entire time, a little fizz bubbling in your stomach - so you pour yourself a glass of it to disguise the feeling. Hold it up and nod, as if to say some silent cheers or celebration.

Jiyeong catches his gaze. Whispers something in his ear. Diverts his attention - and so you divert your eyes. Engage in conversation with Nabi and Tae - a stupid debate about the best pepero flavour. Tae swears down by the original, but Nabi is an almond girlie. You offend them both when you say you like the 'nude' flavour - where the chocolate is on the inside, the biscuit acting as an outer layer.

"Of all the things I've ever learnt about you, this is by far the worst," Tae tells you with such certainty that you can't help but laugh. Nabi defends you. Tells Tae at least your choice isn't 'boring' like his.

Eventually, as you settle around the dinner table, everyone gets involved, and Jeongguk is the worst offender. Says the cheddar cheese flavour is underrated. Even Jiyeong refuses to defend him, there.

"Right," Tae says in disgust. "Little Miss Nude and Mr Cheddar fucking Cheese, you can both get out. I'm not celebrating Christmas with either of you."

"What?"

"Oh, c'mon!"

You both protest, but Tae refuses to have any of it. It's all in good humour - everyone is laughing, and tipsy grins are on the faces of the people you adore the most. Even Jiyeong seems to be enjoying herself - but she'll only look at Jeongguk. Not you. The joke is only funny because he's involved. If it were just you, she'd probably not find much humour in it.

Nabi is quick to refill both of your drinks throughout the evening.

"Christmas is reserved for being drunk, and drunk only," she tells you with absolute certainty as you dillydally in the kitchen while the rest of your friends continue their conversation around the dinner table. Seeing her out of her shell is nice, so you don't mind her insistence. "It's the true Scots way."

You learn more about her family - Scottish on her dad's side. She'd usually be there for Christmas, but having spent the summer there, she'd opted for Christmas back in Korea, and regrets it. Loves her family dearly, and misses their tradition of getting absolutely blitzed every December. It's not necessarily the 'true Scots way' as she says, but it's her way - getting you guys buzzed is her way of feeling like she's 'home'. It's lovely to be included, you decide.

Her hair is up with a tartan ribbon - Black Watch, she tells you the pattern is. Deep green and dark blue, it couldn't be further from her family's rich red-based tartan - but it didn't match her outfit as well, and she's not too precious about it.

She babbles about her family, and asks about yours. Is just as interested in you as you are in her. There's a warmth to Nabi once she opens up. Despite how cold she'd been the first time you'd met her, it seems as if this is the real Nabi. The standoffish approach is unintentional, and she realises it does her no favours - but makes the friendships formed much more genuine.

Dinner is eaten. Compliments are given to the chefs. Seoyeon and Yoongi battle for the head chef title, but it's redundant because everyone's a little too tipsy for their own good. All you'll remember in the morning is that it was fucking delicious. Might even rival your mother's cooking.

Jeongguk sits on the opposite side of the dinner table, a few seats down from yours. Jiyeong is next to him, closer to you, almost like she wants a barrier.

Or maybe she's just a girl sitting next to the guy she's dating at dinner.

You blame the bitter thoughts on the vodka-induced haze. It's unlike you - but Christmas was always going to be difficult for you. It's the one time of year Seokjin would really pull through. All of your fondest memories with him stem from this season.

You'd grown a little dependent on Jeongguk to alleviate the strain caused by the ghost of Christmas past, but he can't do that now. It's okay, that he can't. He shouldn't. Not if he wants things with Jiyeong to work out - of which he does.

Part of him knows, though, that an argument is brewing. It's in the way Jiyeong stiffens every time you become a focal point of the conversation. How her eyes follow you as you re-enter the room with Nabi, your friendship something she can't understand because she's still on cold-terms with Nabi. Doesn't realise yet it's just how Nabi works - and while you'd been tolerant of it, Jiyeong takes offence.

Her discomfort also shows in her grip on Jeongguk's thigh and how it becomes a little tighter when he laughs at jokes you make. A reminder, he thinks. You're here with me. Pay attention to me.

He can't blame her. They've been dating for a month. This is their first major holiday. Of course she'd want things to go well. To feel special.

Gym sessions have doubled as dates, which has increased the time spent together, but he's also made an effort outside of their common space. They've been for dinner, been to the city's main amusement park. Done 'datey' things, because that's the 'done' thing. He holds her hand when they're together, and kisses her goodbye.

He's still yet to invite her back to his. Not for a fear of rejection, but because he still hasn't taken those damn birds down.

Sometimes she likes to argue with him for the sake of making him squirm. If a text comes through from you, he knows a row is due - but has learned that sometimes she orchestrates them just to get him in her bed. Manipulates him a little bit. Whines. Says she doesn't even think he likes her that much - so he tries to prove that he does.

Thinks that maybe sex could be the answer - and given how sweet and sincere she always is in the aftermath, and how she always says sorry for being mean when he's in her sheets, it seems like it does work.

For a while, at least.

And so that's how his weeks go. Jiyeong is fine until she's not, and then Jeongguk will fix things by fucking her - because how could you possibly be an issue when she's the one he's fucking? It's her name on his tongue, her tongue in his mouth, and vice versa.

But he's found he's adopted your behaviours. He never stays over. He'll spend the evening at hers. Let her do things you won't. Kisses her when he fucks her, because it's what feels right - but doesn't stay the night because it feels wrong . It is intimate. He's not sure he wants to take things that far, yet. Isn't sure he likes the lingering resentment that's building; how it feels like he's being conditioned to associate sex with the unpleasantness of an argument.

He tries not to think of Hayun, but he remembers how he'd fuck her, just hoping - praying - she'd realise his feelings for her. Doesn't like that he's fucking Jiyeong as a way to prove himself. It feels too familiar.

They're not official. Exclusive, yes, but not official. It's still in its trial period, which is further than he ever got with Hayun, though.

Jeongguk knows, deep down, that he's too much of a hopeless romantic to ever need a 'trial period'. Knows that if this was the right thing for him, he'd already be thinking about sharing a home and naming children. Just how he's wired.

But he's jumped in too quickly before, and it's never ended well. He's taking things slow, because he wants it to be different. Knows that love is a choice, so he's actively choosing her.

Isn't in love yet. Not even close. But he wants to be.

And so he ignores the fact he doesn't think he can peacefully coexist with you without Jieyong getting irritated because he thinks if he keeps choosing her, she'll understand. He thinks if he proves himself, his dedication, that she'll accept it.

He's trying .

Even as an outsider, you recognise this. Can see that sometimes he goes to do things - to speak, to joke - and then catches himself. Speaks to her instead. Includes her in conversations that she'd otherwise remain mute in.

He's trying , which is more than Seokjin ever did for you. Makes you appreciate Jeongguk's careful nature even more. You think that Jiyeong would be mad to give him up, and it appears that he's not intending on giving her up, so all that's left to do is accept that this is your reality now.

The birds were fun while they lasted, but you'd rather have Jeongguk around, than not at all. It's a small compromise - and maybe you're a few drinks too deep, but by the time Secret Santa exchange comes around, you find yourself smiling at how animated he becomes. His round eyes glow with excitement, enthused by the fun of it all. A big kid at heart, Jeongguk is the purest soul you've ever known.

He's the one who passes out the gifts, like a kid on Christmas morning organising the presents beneath the tree. He wants to touch them all, feel their weight, see if they make a noise. Also wants to unwrap them all, but knows he can't, so excitedly hurries them along.

You can tell almost immediately who he wrapped a gift for - his smile becomes nervous, nibbling down on his bottom lip as he tentatively observes Tae unwrap an immaculately wrapped parcel. You should have guessed, really, knowing how good Jeongguk is with folding paper, that it would be from him.

Inside is a painting by numbers book for beginners - "Oh fuck off," Tae laughs - and a pair of earrings that have tiny, fully-functional, watercolour painting sets dangling from them.

Tae is obsessed . Takes his small hoops out, and puts the earrings in immediately. They're ridiculous and everyone is aware of it, but the way Tae dips the tiny brush into his wine and uses it to wet some of the paint is amusing to everyone. He gets straight to work painting in the first page - which is quite literally a square with just a single number inside it.

The way Jeongguk beams as Tae gets to grips with it is so endearing that you find yourself just as enthused as he is.

He's laughing, all childlike and full of life, and you decide that not having him in your life would be a crying shame. You're grateful for many things, but moments like these? They're the cherry on top of a good life.

You're a little more nervous as Jimin begins to unwrap his present.

It's from you, not that anyone is aware - hell, you're not even sure Jimin will realise the joke you're making as he neatly removes the ribbons you've wrapped around his gift. Everyone watches on with great curiosity as he begins to decipher what on earth he's received.

It's a two-part gift. The first thing? A desk sign.

Don't touch my pens , it reads - until he slides a small tab across, which changes it to say 'Do touch my pen.'

He smirks. Thinks he knows where this is going. Thinks he knows who gave it to him - and he unwraps the second part of your gift, he laughs in a way you don't think you've ever heard before.

"Oh, you little fucker," he grins at you, holding close three brand new pens, that match the one he'd claimed to be his favourite on the first night you had met. It's all a bit tongue-in-cheek, and you know it could probably prompt a few questions. You're not too sure what everyone knows of yours and Jimin's shared history, but you decide you don't really care.

"It's an in-joke," Jimin tells everyone, not wanting to air your dirty laundry. He sets his desk sign in front of him, and changes it back to ' Don't touch my pens ,' then neatly lines his new ones into a row, a pleased smile on his angelic face. Looks up at you. Grins. "Good memory."

You just shrug, pleased that he finds humour in them. The smile on your face is warm.

The smile on Jeongguk's face? Gone.

It returns when Jiyeong goes to open her present. Whoever had her name made a conscious effort to make her feel included despite not knowing her all too well. They also probably asked Jeongguk for some pointers, but that doesn't matter.

"Oh, these are ideal," she grins at a set of workout dice. There are six, each covered in different workouts and stretches. A final one indicates how many reps should be done. "I'm so bored of my current routine. These are literally perfect."

There's a lot to be said for how someone receives a gift, and Jiyeong seems genuinely appreciative. Alongside the dice is a custom water bottle with her name on it, and a cheat-day chocolate bar, both of which are just as well received.

From across the table, you sit with a soft smile on your lips. Perhaps this new normal could be nice.

Jeongguk feels your gaze. Glances towards you. Is pleased by the look on your face. Smiles, too.

You're the last to receive your present. It's wrapped a little haphazardly, and truth be told, you've no idea who it could be from. So far, no one has admitted to anything.

Occasionally, you just know - like Jeongguk's gift for Tae.

You've no idea who gifted Jeongguk quite possibly the largest shirt you've ever seen in your life.

It's a T-shirt, but the sleeves end by his wrists, and the hem of the shirt is below his knees. A joke at the expense of his love for baggy clothes, he's wearing it with pride and a silly little grin on his face. It's impractical and ridiculous, but it sums him up perfectly. Maybe it's the sheer amount of vodka you've consumed, but you can't seem to stop laughing every time you look at him.

Jiyeong doesn't really find it that funny, but she laughs too because she doesn't like the way Jeongguk looks at you when you laugh.

Yoongi's had nearly half a bottle of whisky because every time he notices the tension, he downs his drink. Can't be dealing with it. Doesn't understand how no one else is privy to it.

When you've finally discarded the wrapping paper, you find yourself laughing. Of course you are - the gift is perfect .

You open the box up, and then everyone joins in with your laughter as you pull out a bloody disco ball.

"Incredible," you beam, letting it spin in front of you, soft giggles escaping your lips. The light reflects as you twirl it around, dappling everyone in the most gorgeous speckles. Ethereal and whimsical, it's perhaps the best secret santa gift you've ever received.

Jiyeong doesn't smile. Just looks at Jeongguk as he looks at you, and wonders why he's incapable of ever looking at you without that stupid fucking smile on his face. It irritates her.

You don't look at Jeongguk. Just at the disco ball. You fear he's got stars in his eyes - and when your body betrays your mind, and eventually does glance towards him, you're proven right.

Of course he does though. He's looking at his star girl, and would have galaxies in his eyes regardless. Always has done. Regretfully, always will.

See, the stars are just reflections of your glitter. They won't burn out. Will never disintegrate. Very bad for the environment.

Forever is a long time, but he thinks it's the only accurate timeframe he can give to the splendour of your sparkle.

As your eyes linger for just a moment too long, there's an acute awareness between you both that things were better before.

He misses stargazing.

You miss the way he watches you.

Jeongguk doesn't know what to make of it. Things should be better now. Things should feel right - but he's holding back the full smile he wants to give you. Feels like he can't enthuse with you. Knows it will lead to an argument, and he's been trying to avoid those. Knows that Jiyeong is at her worst when she's had a few drinks, and knows it won't take much for her to blow up at him.

The worst part? He knows when they stopped for gas on their way there, he'd returned to the car with snacks (of which she'd naturally been happy about) but also an air freshener in the shape of a tiny fucking disco ball. He'd found it hilarious. She'd thought it was cute, but didn't understand why he liked it so much. She liked how much he liked it though, so had hung it up for him while he was driving.

Jeongguk knows she isn't stupid. Knows dots are being joined in her head. Knows that when he saw that air freshener, he thought of you. Knows that he loved it because of you. Part of him didn't even realise himself at the time, but now that he comes to think of it, it's obvious.

Jiyeong's internalised rage could shatter the disco ball you're holding into a thousand pieces - and Jeongguk knows you'd still find beauty in it.

You're a hopeless romanticist, just like he's a hopeless romantic. Both find love in things you shouldn't; you in ideas, him in people.

So he just nods. Lets someone else make jokes about your disco ball eyes, and how it's like looking at a sculpture of you. Laughs as you fake offence for being likened to a ball-shaped object - but stiffens his back when he realises Jiyeongs strengthening grip on his thigh.

You pretend you don't wish Jeongguk would make a stupid remark about how he was the one who invented that nickname, and how he deserves the credit.

He just turns to Jiyeong and whispers something in her ear. You've no idea what he says, but she smiles. Better than the death glare you'd been getting previously, so you ignore it.

That new normal you had decided was okay? Yeah. You hate it.

That Oscar-worthy performance you've been putting on prevails, though. As the night dwindles on, you holding the disco ball close, fractured light painting your throat in different hues, you couldn't look happier.

Natural divisions form - Jeongguk ends up in the kitchen with Tae, Jimin and Jiyeong, while Yoongi stays with the girlies. Namjoon is off visiting family, so he doesn't have his usual right-hand man - but he has his wife-to-be and a little plait in his hair, so he doesn't mind all too much.

"It's upstairs," Yoongi says to you quietly a little while later. "Spare room."

You nod, knowing what he means straight off the bat. Glancing through the doorway to where Jeongguk has his arm looped around Jiyeong's shoulders, a pretty smile on her face, you frown.

"Go up," Yoongi just says. "I'll sort it. First room on the left. Door's open."

You do as you're told - only realising quite how drunk you are when you stand. Walking straight is never your strong point after a few drinks, but you've been sitting for so long that you didn't realise quite how bad it was.

The room Yoongi directed you to is quaint - a small bed, not quite a double, is snug against the window. All of the furniture is carved from the same wood, and you know instantly that Yoongi must have made every single piece of it. It's impressive. Commendable. You understand why Seoyeon is so smitten. There's something to be said for a man who has mastered his craft. Maybe that's why you like seeing Jeongguk behind the bar so much.

A thin box lays on top of the white quilt, denting it from the weight. You check it over. Open it up. Pout. It's perfect .

Crafted by Yoongi, a dark walnut cutting board engraved with Jeongguk's name sits perfectly in the box, a thin layer of tissue paper beneath it. One edge has the natural shape of the wood running up it, while the rest have been sanded to a gorgeous curve. In the bottom corner, Yoongi's logo - his own name - is branded into the wood. It's gorgeous. One of a kind.

After visiting Yoongi's studio together, and seeing Jeongguk delicately run his fingers along similar ones, an idea had brewed in your head. Thought it was apt, knowing he wants his own samgyeopsal place.

You've barely managed to close it again when you hear a small knock on the open door.

Turning, you're greeted by your favourite person, and you can't even hide your smile. He can't hide his, either. His oversized shirt is tied around his neck by the sleeves, as if he's wearing a cape. You think he's ridiculous and it makes you giggle.

"What?" he beams - 'cause he can't suppress his smiles, either. Has been holding them in all evening, but now it's just the pair of you, he can finally indulge.

Yoongi had pulled him to the side. Told Jiyeong he needed to borrow him quickly. Followed Jeongguk upstairs, but went to the bathroom instead. Told Jeongguk to go to the spare room.

Maybe the deceit isn't ideal, but it's for a good cause, Yoongi thinks. Would do it again, no questions asked. Thinks that this is worthy of breaking Seoyeon's 'no gifts other than secret santa' rule.

"Have I been lured here under false pretences?" He speaks quietly, moving a little closer, tapping against the door to push it nearly shut. It's ajar, but only just.

"Maybe," you whisper back. Take a step closer. He holds his hands out, palms up, for you to gently slap yours against his. The contact is innocent. He just misses being tactile with you.

"Maybe?" He raises his brows, tilting his head slightly. His eyes narrow, smile persisting, a small laugh stuttering between his lips as his nose begins to scrunch. He's as drunk as he is handsome.

"Maybe," you nod, before looking over to the box on the bed. "Santa's been."

Jeongguk still his hands. Holds yours a little. Pretends he isn't.

"For me?"

"Mhmm," you nod, pulling your palms from his grasp, reaching over for it. "Here."

He takes it slowly. Is apprehensive. It makes you laugh. Says nothing as he eases the lid off the box - then stops moving entirely as he realises exactly what it is.

"For the restaurant," you say softly, a nervous smile on your lips. Eyes wide, you can't fully work out what he's thinking. "When you finally open it. I know wooden chopping boards aren't, like, health and safety approved, but I wasn't really thinking about that when I decided to get you one, so I'll buy a new set when the time comes-"

"No," Jeongguk shakes his head. Finally looks up at you. Looks like he might cry. "No, this is perfect. Perfect . B, what the fuck?"

And then he laughs. Chokes a little, because he really is trying to hold back the fact he feels like he'll cry. Holds the board in one hand, and uses the other to pull you in for a hug so warm that it feels like you're being engulfed by a thousand flames.

You've always believed in his dreams with reckless abandon. Have never doubted him. Know that one day you'll be drinking purple starfuckers after hours at the bar of his very own samgyeopsal place. You will . You're sure of it.

And while Jeongguk's always quietly hoped that he'd be able to achieve his dreams, he's never had someone enthuse about it in the way that you do. Never had someone absolutely certain that his dreams would play an active role in their own reality.

But you do.

So he sets the cutting board gently down on the bed and fully wraps his arms around you. Hugs you because he doesn't know how else to convey the way it makes him feel. Appreciative? Maybe. But it's more than that. More than delight, contentedness, gratefulness. He's experiencing all of those things, but they're too simple for such a complex feeling.

"Perfect," he whispers against the side of your head. "So fucking perfect."

He doesn't clarify that he's talking about the cutting board. Doesn't think he needs to. Also knows he not talking about the board at all, but knows better than to admit that.

"I'm glad you like it," you smile against his chest, then pull away from the hug. "Just thought maybe you should start gathering your resources, yanno?"

It's a lie. You just wanted to get him a gift.

He picks it up again and traces the grooves, fingers tenderly drawing over the wood grain. Studies it, because he knows if he looks at you again, he won't be able to make sensible choices.

"I love it."

"Pretty, isn't it?" You grin, watching his hands delicately feel their way around the board.

He looks up at you briefly. His eyes linger, then fall back to his hands.

"Yeah," he smiles. "Very pretty."

You let him study it for a little longer, before encouraging him downstairs. You tell him everyone will be wondering where he is. You think they really will. Think he's the life and the soul. Fail to realise just because he's the person you're always focused on, doesn't mean that everyone else is.

"Wait," he says as you reach the top of the stairs, the board tucked beneath his arm.

"Mhmm?"

"Thank you."

"It's fine," you smile - but Jeongguk looks serious all of a sudden.

"I mean it, Byeol. You don't... This is..." he struggles to find the words, so just laughs. "I'm so glad to know you."

You can't help the smile that breaks on your face, like a shooting star in the darkest of nights. Your glitter reflects the warm light pooling from up the stairs, and Jeongguk realises he's missed you far too much.

"Knowing you is okay," you tease, before ushering him downstairs. "C'mon. Seoyeon was talking about playing a game just before we headed up. Don't wanna miss the fun."

You're also aware you've been away for a little too long. Know that Jiyeong will probably start getting antsy. You know in her position, you probably would feel the exact same, and you don't want to make life difficult for anyone.

"You go first," you encourage. "I'll follow in a moment."

He does as he's told, while you head to the bathroom and freshen yourself off. Wipe the glitter that trails down your cheek when you fail to compose yourself and find a tear falling. There's no reason to cry. Everything went well - but maybe that's reason enough. Maybe you were reminded of how good things were before you fucked them all up, by insisting on Jeongguk following through with that damn bird.

When you finally return, everyone is in good spirits. The night continues as such. Jeongguk and Jiyeong leave first, with Jimin joining their taxi because it just makes sense. Part of you revels in satisfaction when you hear Jeongguk state there'll two drops to the ride: Jiyeong's place, then back to his place for him and Jimin.

You catch a cab with Tae and Nabi a little while later, though you're sure in the morning you'll forget all about it. Will forget most of the evening, most probably. You're fucked. Nabi's mission? Accomplished - but she's just as bad as you are. Throws up in her bag in the back of the Taxi.

As you eventually meander up the corridor to your apartment, a small sense of dread swells in the pit of your stomach.

Much like the evening of Taehyung's art show, there are flowers by your door.

They're different, this time. Out of season, you think. Oranges and purples you'd expect to see in the warmth of early summer, not in the barren cold of winter - but they're familiar. A small bunch. Expensive because of the time of year, but minimal compared to the obnoxious roses you'd been greeted with before.

You're getting pretty good at mental gymnastics. Tell yourself maybe Seokjin fancied doing something a little different this time. There's no calling card, from what you can see - just a small box wrapped in brown paper and sealed shut with washi tape.

For some reason, you find yourself cursing when you notice the small detail, because you know exactly where you recognise it from. Your heart grows heavy, lips pressing together to suppress a pout.

See, Jeongguk had been lying about the traffic.

He was late because he had to drop by yours before heading up to Yoongi's place. Didn't want Jiyeong to ask questions, so went to yours before he got her, but also wanted to make sure you'd left your place first. Has Jimin on his friend finder app, so stalked him like a little creep to make sure nothing would overlap.

He's not too sure why.

When you pick the flowers up, you find yourself cradling them, almost. Far more care is taken than there was with the roses. These are more precious, you think - and yet you set them down on the counter first, and don't bother to sort the vase out.

Instead, you slide your thumb under a loose section of paper, gently prizing away the washi tape from the brown paper.

The box itself is no bigger than your palm. White once you remove the earthy-toned packaging, it's embossed with a small silver stamp of a company you've never heard of.

Nervousness finds its home in your diaphragm for no good reason. Delicately opening the box, you're greeted first by a small card. It's handwritten, unlike the ones that so often come with flowers from Seokjin.

But of course it is. Everything about Jeongguk is far more intimate. It's innate. Just who he is as a person. S'why he was so good with those pesky fears of yours.

When you finally start to read the note, you realise your vision is a little blurred from tiny tears making their presence known. You're not crying. Not really. Just a little emotional. You blame it on the vodka.

for the wind beneath my wings, and the washi tape that holds my fears safe.

what would i do without you?

keep on shining, disco ball x

Beneath the note sits a dainty silver chain. Resting prettily on the cushioned padding of the box is a small charm: an ornate silver origami bird.

You're not sure why, but you really do start crying, now. The tears fall silently, and speckle the countertop with tiny splashes, but you don't care to wipe them away.

In your back pocket, your phone vibrates. A picture sent from Jeongguk waits in your message feed.

Across town, he stands in his dimly lit kitchen, a glass of red in his hand as he leans back against the kitchen island. The chopping board is hung next to the stovetop, where a pot usually lives, but Jeongguk has hidden it away in the cupboard. Thinks Yoongi's handiwork deserves to be displayed - and he's right. The dark walnut wood looks gorgeous against the backsplash of his kitchen.

The picture sent to you is of his view, and he's pleased to feel his phone vibrate in his own back pocket just a few minutes later.

You reply with a picture, too.

It's of his gift card, with a hastily scribbled reply over the top of the photograph. You often annotate the pictures you send him, and it always makes him smile - but this time, he really does laugh.

Next to his question - what would i do without you? - your hot pink digital handwriting replies: idk - die, probably.

And then a second message pings through - a selfie, taken in the mirror.

Your hair is down, slightly kinked in places from your up-do, but ever so elegant as it drapes over your shoulder. Your roots are well and truly growing through now, and it makes Jeongguk smile. So much progress has been made. It's nice to see a physical representation of that.

Your eyes are a little bleary, but it could just be the alcohol, he thinks. Chooses to ignore the fact your nose is slightly blushed, too.

Tiny speckles of glitter catch the light all over your skin - your eyes, your cheeks, your throat, the top of your chest. Again, he ignores the fact you're without the clothes you had been wearing. There are still straps over your shoulders, but he knows you well. Knows you're in your underwear. Recognises the bra. Has taken it off you before.

Nothing is on show, but nothing needs to be. He's visualising it regardless. Hates himself for it, but can't seem to stop.

In fact, the only thing that does avert his attention is the silver pendant around your neck. It sits prettily a few inches above your cleavage, perfectly adorning you like fine jewellery should.

It's not like it was unreasonably expensive - just sterling silver - but something about it feels priceless. To him. To you. To the friendship you've cultivated and the lives you both lead; forever changed by a couple of purple starfuckers and a few bad decisions.

Something tells me this one won't fall, your caption reads.

Jeongguk purses his lips together. Looks at the chopping board. Shakes his head. Doesn't know how to reply.

So instead, he tries honesty.

You look beautiful.

The message sits in his side of the chat, unsent. He knows the compliment is too heavy. Doesn't matter if it's true or not. So he rephrases, and presses send on something else.

Jeongguk: suits you, b

Of course it does. Was chosen for you by someone who knows you better than you know yourself.

You: best friend in the whole entire world x

You: what would I do without you?

Jeongguk smirks to himself. Doesn't even think as he types.

Jeongguk: die, probably

Your reply makes his smile grow even wider.

You: till death do us part ;)

He knows he shouldn't find such comfort in the joke you've just sent, he can't help it.

Jeongguk knows you'll be away visiting family over the next few days, just like he is. Knows that he won't hear from you much. Understands why. Doesn't mean he enjoys the prospect of it.

He considers inviting you around, now.

But it's Christmas morning, albeit very early and he knows the implications of such a thing. He wouldn't mean anything by it, he's just missed you. Missed hanging out with you.

But he invested himself in someone else because of the investment he made in you, and the birds. He has expectations to live up to. Doesn't wanna let you down.

Neither of you sleep as well as you should. Life was easier as a kid, the excitement of Father Christmas visiting enough to wipe you out entirely. Even the alcohol isn't enough to lull you into a peaceful equilibrium.

Instead, Jeongguk stares at the birds on his ceiling. You twiddle with the bird around your neck.

It's apparent that neither of you will be waking up to the gifts you really want beneath your trees - and you've only got yourselves to blame.

Merry fuckin' Christmas.

AO3 | MASTERLIST | MINORS DNI

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thebearer · 1 year ago

Note

Ok but we need a part two of The Feeling where Richie and Alicia double date and y/n and carmy for kareoke

linking the feeling here for those of you who haven't read it :) it was my first work on here so i'm very attached to it lol. but here is a blurb of their date.

"She always like this?" Richie asked loudly over the music, head ducked towards Alicia's.

Alicia's eyes cut to you, on stage, singing your heart out to Like A Prayer all while pointing at Carmen suggestively. He would give a small smirk, blush when you crouched down on your knees and winked at him. The crowd loved it, the owners too, loved it when you gave the tourists and wannabe locals the energy they wanted from a karaoke place. The drunks loved it too, your biggest supporters, you'd call them with a grin.

"Oh, yeah," Alicia muttered, shaking her head at you. "You should be glad her friend Maddy isn't here. When those two get up there... it's somethin' else."

Richie snorted lightly, shaking his head. "I can't even imagine."

The crowd clapped for you, your dramatic bow making them go even wilder. You skipped over to the table, arms wrapped around Carmen's neck. "Good job, baby." Carmen muttered, pressing a kiss to your cheek.

You turned your head, kissing him sweetly, fully on his mouth. He could taste the tequila from your drink. "Thanks, Carmy." You hummed, a little tipsy and wobbly, his hands on your waist to keep you from tilting. "You're my muse, baby. That one was for you."

Carmen laughed, shaking his head at you. "Good job. You're a natural, kid. Gonna go real far." Richie teased.

"I'm a starrrrr." You sighed dramatically. "What can I say? I'm just a natural born performer."

Alicia rolled her eyes at you, sipping her drink. "And now, let's have Richie come to the stage. Richie J, come to the stage."

Richie's face fell turning to you and Carmen. "Cousin, the fuck?"

"Wasn't me." Carmen lifted his heads, looking over at you.

"It's a song you know." You gave him a shy smile.

"What- no. No. I'm not-" Richie stuttered, shaking his head.

"Oh, please, Richie. It's fun!" You whined.

"I'm not good-"

"-That's the point!" You countered, slapping your hand on the table. "Trust me, they'll love it."

Alicia looked at him, eyes batting sweetly. "I think you should go up there." She muttered with a small smile. "Give Broadway Baby a run for her money."

You cackled, leaning against Carmen. Richie huffed, his heart hammering while he downed the rest of his beer, standing while you all cheered for him.

The crowd applauded, the announcer welcoming him on stage. "Alright, let's hear it for Richie singing Shake It Off."

Richie's eyes cut to you, glaring while you cackled.

"Oh, no way." Alicia laughed. "He's a Swiftie?"

"Total Swiftie." You grinned, leaning towards her. "Told you, you'd like him." You muttered.

Alicia blushed, shaking her head at you, turning to watch Richie while the music started up.

Carmen's hand snuck around your waist, pulling you closer. "Richie's gonna kill you."

"Nah, they're gonna love him." You quipped. "Besides, if it gets him laid tonight, he won't kill me."

Carmen rolled his eyes, pressing a kiss to your head, pulling out his phone to record. No way he wasn't sending this in the group chat, especially when Richie hit the bridge high notes and the crowd went insane.

#thebearer #bearblahs #carmen berzatto #carmen berzatto x reader #carmy berzatto #carmy berzatto x reader #carmen berzatto fluff #the bear #carmen berzatto fic #carmy berzatto fluff #richie jerimovich #carmen berzatto x female!reader #carmen berzatto x fem!reader #carmen berzatto x you #the bear fx #carmen berzatto blurb #thebearerblurbs

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anodeorain · 1 year ago

Text

Unsteady.

Lady Dimitrescu x Y/N

Warnings: 18+ Minors DNI :)

Tags: angst, alcohol, cigarettes, death, smut

Summary: Alcina doesn’t feel good after the meeting with Mother Miranda. Ethan Winters ruined everything. She can’t control herself anymore.

Notes: I’m kinda bad at writing angst and smut but anyways, I hope you like it. Feel free to point out any mistakes lol ty <3

“He stole the fragment right from in front of you, Alcina. How could you let him do that?”

Mother Miranda says as she gives Alcina an angry gaze. She isn’t pleased with her daughter’s behavior. The ceremony is about to be ruined. She can’t let it happen.

Miranda relied on her children, giving them all four fragments of Rose. Of course she was aware of Ethan coming for his daughter. She wanted to make it terribly hard for him. Besides, as soon as Miranda gets Eva she plans to get rid of the Lords. They will not satisfy Miranda’s needs. They will not make any sense any longer.

Mother Miranda keeps her wide golden eyes at Lady Dimitrescu, waiting for her respond.

“He killed my daughter!”

Alcina snaps.

“You’re miserable. You can not manage to do the ONE thing I asked you for, Alcina.”

“Mother Miranda, my apologies.”

Alcina says, her jaws clench. She takes out a cigarette case, placing a cigarette between her crimson lips. She’s terrified, mad at herself for letting Bela die. The countess was lucky enough to lock two other daughters inside the library so they will not escape while the stupid man thing walks through the castle. She staid with them, not letting her eyes go off the library. Alcina lights up a cigarette, taking a long drag and slowly exhaling the smoke into the ceiling.

“Do not smoke here.”

Mother Miranda protests, watching Alcina squeezing the cigarette in her large palm. The tobacco crumble down in the floor. The silence between other Lords creates the nervous and tense atmosphere. They all stay quiet, witnessing Alcina being chewed out by Mother Miranda.

“Mother Miranda, you must understand my frightful position. You also had a chil-“

“Enough.”

Miranda spreads her black huge wings, moving closer to Alcina. She leans down to her daughter as Alcina bows down her head, gripping the arms of her plush chair.

“You’re useless, Alcina. Such a pity your two more daughters survived... They should have died first. It would be very sobering for you.”

Alcina opens her mouth as she wants to yell at Mother Miranda but immediately shuts her mouth closed. She’s unable to speak against her so-called mother. She feels Miranda’s claw against her neck. Miranda breaks into a devilish smile, gently wrapping her wings around Lady Dimitrescu, cocooning them both.

Alcina feels a lump in her throat. She wants to cry but manages to stop herself. Not in front of Miranda. Not in front of other Lords or anyone else.

“Ah, you’re pathetic. Total misery… I trusted you the most precious thing and you ruined everything!”

Mother Miranda yells as she grips her daughter’s cheeks, making her look up. She looks into Alcina’s sorrowful eyes that sparkle with sadness and anger.

“Dismissed.”

Miranda spits out, letting go off Lady Dimitrescu’s face.

“Yes, Mother Miranda.”

******

Lady Dimitrescu sits in complete silence, gulping the seventh bottle of wine. Only two more left but she still feels her heart aching. She smokes cigarettes one by one, feeling sick of them already.

Her pain like a heavy fog spreads across her heart, making it hard to stay focused. Tears roll down her pale cheeks that seem even more paler now. Alcina wants to forget by drinking strong bloody liquid that burns her esophagus. Sometimes she regrets being immortal and watching her closest persons die.

Pathetic.

She sniffs, biting her bottom lip hard, trying to get distracted by the pain.

Useless.

Alcina takes a deep breath, her throat spasms. She holds her breath for few seconds until it gets normal again.

She always was the one to help Mother Miranda. They knew each other for so long that she could definitely call her one of the closest people in her life. Even though Miranda treats her like a complete garbage but she gave her her sweet daughters. Alcina’s always felt lonely in this gigantic dark castle for years, using maids for blood and pleasure. Bela, Cassandra and Daniela immediately changed her life. She could care about them, love them, rise them with all her love and patience. The countess gave all her life for these three sweetlings. She might be not the best Mother but she tried her best. Those were the biggest days.

Lady Dimitrescu starts crying again, howling. She hides her face behind her hands. She wants to scream so bad but she can scare her pure daughters and they need to rest now.

The strongest of all four Lords is breaking down. She lost her oldest daughter and Mother Miranda’s trust. Surprisingly, Miranda kept her alive and didn’t even care about the punishment. Bela’s death was enough.

All of the sudden, she does not blame Ethan anymore. After all, he also wanted to save his daughter. The countess sobs, blowing her nose into the tissue and immediately gulping more of her wine. She bites her own finger, whining in pain.

Lady Dimitrescu gets up from her the chair, facing the huge picture window. She can see snowflakes slowly falling down from the dark night sky fluttering in the wind. Alcina closes her eyes, gently wiping off the tears off her cheeks.

Another cigarette, another bottle of wine. Her eyes are swollen from crying and nose is stuffy, she barely can focus her eyes on the goblet.

“Fuck.”

She mutters as she spills out some of wine on her white dress. The countess rolls her eyes, grabbing the tissue to wipe the wine off but it makes everything even worse.

“Let me help you, my Lady.”

You call her from the slightly opened door, being absolutely terrified to step inside. Lady Dimitrescu lifts her head up, trying to her best to focus on you but her vision is still blurry.

“Oh… come, maid.”

She manages, her voice is cold and husky. Alcina can’t let herself cry in front of the maid. How pathetic. Mother Miranda was right.

You walk closer to your countess, holding your own hands together. She avoids your gaze, looking down at the floor. You feel nervous yet the smell of cigarettes and wine mixed together makes everything clear about Lady Dimitrescu’s current condition. You know about Bela’s death but too terrified to ask.

“I’ll take care of your dress, my Lady. I’ll wash it and it’ll be as good as new.”

You smile slightly, your voice is soft. Alcina finally looks up at you and your eyes widen at her look yet you stay quiet. You’ve never seen Lady Dimitrescu like this. Her make up is smudged, her eyes are red and really swollen, her nose is running. You sigh, gently unbuttoning the dress, feeling Alcina’s body tremble.

“I do not care about this dress!”

Lady Dimitrescu cries out with shaky voice and you step back, pulling your hands away. You feel your heartbeat fasten at the sudden loud sound of her voice. You can notice so much pain in it.

“My Lady, it is enough wine for today…”

You say quietly, making Lady Dimitrescu frown. She gets on her feet and lights up a cigarette, letting it hang between her smudged crimson lips. She slowly turns to you, keeping her eyes on you. She starts laughing almost maniacally. She steps closer, gradually as she is hunting. You swallow hard and she hears the sound of you gulping. Her laugh seems hysterical.

“You!”

Alcina says, her lips curls into a devilish grin.

“You think you can tell ME, your Mistress, what to do? Ah, sweet girl. You’re so charming.”

Lady Dimitrescu growls, her voice lowers. She bows to you, her golden eyes sparkle with anger. You step back again, your heart beats so fast it can jump out of your chest. Alcina smirks, placing her hand on your cheek, gently caressing it. Your muscles tense as you feel the cold wall press against your back. There is no going back now.

“Little mouse…”

Alcina whispers with coldness in her voice and you shut your eyes. She giggles.

“Do you actually think I can get drunk with such amount of wine? Ah, such a naive pure soul.”

She grins at you, sending shivers down your spine. Lady Dimitrescu’s hand trails it’s easy down from your cheek to your neck, her long large fingers wrap around your throat and she lifts you up. She forces you into the wall. You grab her hand, trying to make her loosen her grip but she only squeezes your throat tighter. You shut your eyes, your face becomes reddish because of air lack.

“You will never… NEVER tell anyone about this. Not a single soul in the castle. If I ever hear any rumors about this, sweet girl, I will make the greatest wine out of you. And I will not hesitate. I promise you.”

Lady Dimitrescu hisses at you. You nod.

“Use your words, maid.”

“Yes, my Lady.”

You are barely able to whisper. Finally, Alcina lets go off your neck and you fall down on the floor, coughing. You look up, finding Lady Dimitrescu sitting on the floor, her back presses against the bed and her knees are up to her chest. She puts off her huge hat, placing it on the side as she starts crying again.

“I am not drunk. Not even tipsy. I am broken, Y/N. My… Daughter was cruelly murdered by… stupid manthing. My reputation is about to fall apart.”

Alcina mutters, not looking up at you. Her voice trembles.

“My Lady…”

You whisper, slowly crawling toward her. Your sore throat doesn’t let you speak normally, your voice is husky. You gently place your hand on top of Alcina’s arm. For your surprise, she doesn’t push you away. She looks up at you. You stare at each other for few minutes, barely blinking. You’ve never seen her this close. She is stunning even with her smudged make up. Lady Dimitrescu smells like blood, alcohol and cigarettes. Yet, there’s a soft scent of lavender.

Alcina abruptly leans closer, crashing her lips against yours. She places her large hand on the back of your hand, sliding her tongue into your mouth dominantly. You let her in, your emotions mixed up and you close your eyes, finally responding on her sudden passionate kiss. You reach Lady Dimitrescu’s neck, gently placing your tiny hand on her cold pale skin. You feel her blood pressure, her heart beats fast.

The countess lets out a quiet growl, cupping your face in her palms as she pulls you closer. She gives vent to her emotions by this rough, almost aggressive kiss. You feel her sharp fangs dig into your bottom lip and whine but don’t pull away.

She drags you closer by your waist, your bodies pressed together. You feel her heavy breathing against your neck. Lady Dimitrescu nibbles at your soft skin, sucks on it, leaving love bites. You never known that your neck is so sensitive.

“My apologies for chocking you earlier.”

Alcina purrs against your ear, sending shivers down your spine. You gasp and tilt your head aside to give her more space of your sweet neck. She growls, pulling out her claw. You immediately pull away from her and she chuckles.

“If I wanted to kill you I would have done it already. Another death is not a part of my plans for today.”

Alcina murmurs, the grin appears on her lips.

“Maybe later though…”

You gasp again when Alcina rips off your clothes with her claws. She did it carefully, not even touching your skin. The countess licks her lips as she looks down on you laying in her arms. She bows down, giving you another passionate kiss while her hand slides down your chest to your round breasts. She moans at the feeling of your harden nipples against her palm. Lady Dimitrescu puts your nipple between her fingers, squeezing it lightly, tugging on it. You wince under her touch and let out a quiet moan. Your chest quickly rises up and down and your heart pounds against your ribs. She smirks.

“Such a good girl.”

Alcina purrs against your lips, her hand slides on your second breast, tugging another nipple now. You wince again, arching your back. You make your breast press against Lady Dimitrescu’s palm, making her groan.

Slowly, her hand trails down your stomach, caressing every inch of it. She keeps kissing you passionately, her tongue dances with yours. You feel warmth in your lower stomach and a soft moan escapes your moist lips. Alcina smirks against your lips, slightly pulling away to look into your eyes. Her hand reaches your sensitive part between your thighs and you gasp again. Your underwear is soaked with desire for your lady. She leans closer to ear ear, nibbling at your earlobe.

“So wet already. My, oh my.”

She whispers, making you squirm under her touch. Lady Dimitrescu moves your underwear aside, gently caressing your clit. She slides her finger between your folds, covering her finger with your juices. You breathe heavily, watching Alcina. She holds you close to her, looking down into your eyes. She can already notice your desire.

“Look at me, pet. I want to see pleasure on your face when you come for me.”

You moan at her words, not breaking the eye contact. She circles around your clit, making you whimper. Alcina then slowly slides her finger inside you, stretching your walls. You moan in pain that lasted for few seconds before you feel pleasure spreading all over your body. Your knees get week and you place your hand on Alcina’s cheek.

“You want a kiss, don’t you?”

Alcina asks and you nod.

“Yes, my Lady.”

She smiles at you, leaning down to give you a slow passionate kiss. You moan louder into the kiss when you feel her tongue exploring your mouth again along with her finger moving out and inside of you again.

“Good girl.”

Alcina praises you and you push your hips toward her hand, taking more of her long finger. She smirks, watching you, catching your eyes on herself.

You look into Lady Dimitrescu’s golden eyes full of desire and it makes you moan louder. Your voice echoes through the room. Alcina slowly makes her moves rougher, pounding her hand against your pussy. The sounds of wetness hit your ears, turning you and Alcina even more.

She’s so beautiful yet so sad. Lady Dimitrescu is lonely.

You feel yourself getting closer to orgasm and you arch your back more, now riding Alcina’s finger. She looks deeply into your eyes, slamming her hand against your wetnesses, her palm rubs against your clit, making you squirm.

“Ah! Yes, my Lady… Please!”

You moan and Alcina rises her eyebrow.

“Please what, pet? Use your words.”

The countess murmurs.

“Ah! Oh shit… Oh… make me… ah! I’m so close… my Lady!”

You moan, looking into Alcina’s eyes as you reach your orgasm. You pant, pressing your face against Alcina’s soft breasts and it makes her chuckle.

“Thank you, my Lady.”

You whisper and feel her hand stroking your back soothingly. She pulls you closer, wrapping her arms around you. You feel comfortable in her arms, laying absolutely naked in her hug.

Slowly, your breaths become steady and you slightly pull away to look at Alcina only to find out she’s crying quietly again. Tears stream down her cheeks and she licks her wet salty lips, scrunching her nose.

“May I do anything for you, my Lady?”

You ask nervously, being afraid to disturb her from her thoughts. Lady Dimitrescu looks down on you and smiles slightly.

“Stay with me tonight, pet. It would be… better if you will be by my side.”

Alcina is scared. Scared to be alone, scared to fall deep into emotions. She gets up with you in her arms and she gently places you on her bed. Lady Dimitrescu kicks off her heels, puts away the hat and gloves before laying down by your side. She carefully wraps the huge blanket around you both and drag you closer. You feel her tender hug as she cuddles you up. Her eyes are closed but breath is unsteady and chest rises up and down quite fast. It takes few minutes until her breaths are no longer unsteady and she breathes normally again.

You wrap your arms around Alcina’s arm, using her forearm as a pillow. You stare at the all for a while, thinking about the evening. You are still nervous by Alcina’s eyes but today you caught her absolutely different size. Gentle and broken. You slowly drift off to sleep in Alcina’s arms, enjoying every second of it.

“Thank you.”

Alcina whispers, pulling you even closer to her chest before falling asleep with you by her side.

#lady dimitrescu #alcina dimitrescu #lady d #re8 #lady dimitrescu x y/n #alcina x y/n #lady dimitrescu smut #re8 lady dimitrescu #alcina dimitrescu x y/n

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michelleleewise · 2 years ago

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Hi hi it's me again! I hope it's ok to send another request 👉👈

I had this idea where y/n is an Avenger and has the power to shape shift her appearance to look however she wants. She doesn't use her real name, and when she's with the avengers she always looks like a really tall and fit beautiful woman, so everyone just assumes that's how she really looks. She gets along with everyone except for Loki who's oddly cold towards her and they kind of bicker a lot. He doesn't know why, but he just has a feeling in his gut that she's hiding something, so he doesn't trust her like everyone else does. Then one day when out in the city, maybe at a library or cafe, Loki bumps into y/n without any disguise on, and she looks the opposite of how she always makes herself look around the avengers, so Loki doesn't even recognise her. Knowing he doesn't recognise her, she doesnt tell loki who she is and instead she tells him her real name, pretending to be strangers, and over time the two bond and become really close, because she's being more herself without her disguise on and loki grows to trust her and fall for her. But just as he's about to confess his feelings one day, he somehow finds out y/n is the same woman as the shape-shifting avenger, and he feels betrayed and hurt that she hid that from him all this time. She has to finally confess everything to loki that she was always really insecure about her appearance so chose to always shape-shift into someone more beautiful 99% of the time, thinking no one would ever like the real her, and when loki accidentally bumped into the real her, she thought he'd never like someone who looked like her as more than a friend, so kept up the lie in the hopes at least the beautiful avenger version of herself might one day have a shot with him 🥺

Sorry that was suuper long, I hope it makes sense and I'm really sorry it's a lot 😅 thank you so much for all your wonderful fics I love them all so so much aasjfhsf ❤️❤️❤️

ERHMEGHERD!!!!!!! this is an absolutely wonderful idea!!!! Love....love....love it!!!!! And you can send as many requests to me as you like!!! I thoroughly enjoy reading them and am honored you send them to me!! 🥰🥰🥰 thank you so much!! I hope this turns out the way you hoped!! 💚💚💚

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Hidden

Pairing: Avenger Loki x shape-shifting f! Readed

Warnings: self esteem issues, self deprecating thoughts, body issues, lies, shape-shifting, chubby reader, minor betrayal, hurt feelings, angst, fluff, swearing

Summary: you had always hidden yourself away, never feeling enough....until one day you realize you are....

A/n- graphics by @harlequin-hangout......sorry this is super long!! Lol totally got away from me haha

You looked in the mirror, closing your eyes you concentrated feeling the change wash over you making you shiver. No matter how many times you had done it you would never get used to the feeling. Opening your eyes meeting familiar but different ones, you pushed your long purple hair back over your shoulder, the baggy clothes now snug against your tall frame. You reached up, stretching and bending as you adjusted to this form "well, time to face the day." You said smiling at the person in the mirror before walking to the door heading towards the kitchen.

You walked in seeing it empty making you release the breath you were holding. Relishing in the silence you grabbed a bowl form the cabinet filling it with cereal, turning to the fridge you leaned over grabbing the milk jumping as you stood up "Holy shit Loki!' You yelled seeing the god had appeared out of nowhere. "Apologies, did I catch you off guard...amethyst." He sneered walking around you. "You just startled me is all." You smiled returning to your bowl. "What are your plans today?" You asked offering him a smile "I do not believe that is your concern." He snarked putting the kettle on the stove "what is your problem?" You asked slamming the milk on the counter. You stood your ground as he turned to you meeting your eyes, this form only slightly shorter then him "I simply do not see why you want to know...we are not friends." He said crossing his arms.

You sighed looing down "Loki, I've tried to get to know you but you don't make it easy." You said grabbing the milk putting it back "because I don't trail after you as my brother does, or because I don't fawn over you as the captain does?" He asked tilting his chin up "I've only ever wanted to be friends with you Loki but you refuse!" You said slamming the fridge closed "I do not need any friends, especially ones such as you." He sneered "what is that supposed to mean?" You asked crossing your arms "you may have the others under your spell, but I am not fooled as easily." He said stepping forward "there is...something you are hiding, something the others don't know." He said staring into your eyes. You swallowed hard trying to avoid his gaze "I don't know what.." he cut you off "yes...please try to lie to me." He smiled making your nervous. "Forget it, I have to go." You said stepping around him towards the hall.

"Oh, hello lady amethyst." Thor said stepping into the room "Hey Thor." You said quickly walking past him. "Brother, what did you do?" Thor asked stepping up to the counter "you assume it was me?' He asked arching his eyebrows "loki, everyone knows you don't like her, which is puzzling." Thor laughed sitting down "and why is that?" Loki asked grabbing a mug "because, she is tall, beautiful, the exact type you would have bedded many times on Asgard." Thor smiled seeing Loki roll his eyes "there is something off about her, she's hiding something." Loki said sternly. "I do not trust her." He continued as the kettle screamed "you do not trust anyone brother, give her a chance." Thor said standing leaving the room. Loki looked at the clock slamming his cup down "norns, now I am going to be late." He said quickly hurrying to his room.

You adjusted your dress, stuffing your other outfit into your bag unlocking the stall. Walking to the sink you checked your phone seeing Loki was going to be there anytime. "Ok...everything is fine." You closed your eyes taking a deep breath, opening your eyes meeting familiar ones. "Welcome back." You said to yourself fluffing your hair. Pulling your skirt down covering as much as the dress allowed you grabbed your bag walking out into the Cafe. You looked around, releasing a breath seeing Loki wasn't there yet you walked up to the counter ordering your usual caramel machiotto and his earl grey tea. Grabbing the cups you made your way through the Cafe to your usual booth feeling everyone's eyes on you. You sighed, taking a seat setting his cup across from you as you rubbed your temples.

This was your usual spot when you needed an escape from the tower, where you could be another faceless person in the crowd. No one knew who you were, what you could do. And after Thor and Loki moved into the tower it became essential. You had wanted nothing more then to get to know Loki, the way he carried himself, his velvet soft hair you wanted to wrap your fingers in, his laugh that made your heart flutter at the sound only intensified the evergrowing feelings you had for him. But no matter how many men oogled you as "amethyst", loki wouldnt give you the time of day. It was puzzling watching him flirt with other women at Tony's parties while completely ignoring your existance, until the arguments began. You had grown accustomed to his coldness towards you but something had changed, everytime you were in the same room he had a snarky comment, a rude remark ready to sling at a moments notice and if you were honest it broke your heart.

Four months ago, after a rather nasty argument with Loki you came here to deflate, to try to pull yourself together. Ordering your coffee you turned only to run into the one man you were trying to get away from. You craned your neck looking up at him, your original form being considerably shorter "my apologies, I wasn't watching where I was going." He smiled down at you grabbing your elbow to steady you "oh i..its ok, really. No harm done." You smiled up at him noticing he hadn't let go of your arm "my name is Loki." He smiled releasing your elbow holding his hand out. You stared at it for a minute before slowly reaching out "y/n, my names y/n." You smiled as he leaned down kissing the back of it. "If I may be so bold, are you here with anyone?" He asked straightening "n..no, I'm on my own...you?" You asked shifting back and forth "I am as well, I needed to get away for a while." He said. "Well, you could join me...if you want to." You said seeing him smile. "I would love to." He said following you to your booth. You shook your head, clearing the memory when the bell above the door rang and a head of dark curls walked in.

"My apologies darling, had a bit of an issue at work." He smiled sitting down. "It's ok Loki, I ordered your tea." You smiled looking down "you are my hero dove." He said sipping his drink. You looked up at him, his bright green eyes shining at you like stars in the night sky. You wanted to tell him, everything in you wanted to yell the truth at him, tell him who you really were but you knew it would make him hate you and you couldnt lose him. He hated amethyst, of course he would hate you too. "Is something wrong darling?" He asked pulling you out of your thoughts "no, no I'm fine, what happened at work?" You asked changing the subject. "Oh it was nothing, we have a team member, amethyst and I simply do not trust her." He said making you cringe. "Oh, why is that?" You asked fidgeting with your cup "everyone trusts her implicitly, but there is something, I can't quite place it but I will figure it out." He said sipping his tea

"enough about me, tell me about your day darling." He smiled leaning forward on the table. You did your best to swallow your heartache he didnt trust you as you sipped your coffee "Well, nothing too exciting honeslty, i..." you were cut off by his phone ringing "sorry dear one second." He said looking down at the screen "I am very sorry but I have been called on a mission so I must go." He said standing up. You stood with him as he tucked his phone back in his pocket "I should be back in a couple of days, I will call you as soon as I return." He smiled "ok, be careful please." You said, stepping forward wrapping your arms around him "I will darling, do not worry." He said hugging you back. You closed your eyes, listening to the steady beat of his heart knowing this was the only way you would ever be this close to him.

He pulled back holding your arms "I will see you soon." He said grabbing his cup as he walked out of the shop. You flopped back down in the booth sighing "your a coward y/n." You said to yourself as your phone buzzed, pulling it out seeing it was Steve telling you you were paired with Loki on a mission leaving in twenty. "Fuck!" You yelled, throwing your phone in your bag you looked up seeing everyone staring at you "sorry." You said grabbing your things your quickly made your way back to the tower wishing you could brake your leg on the way.

"Loki, where are you!?" You yelled into the coms, stabbing another agent as he lunged at you. "Worry about yourself agent." He sneered into the earpiece. "We are supposed to be working together loki!" You yelled, quickly shifting into a snake as another group of agents ran in "I do not work with liars." You heard as you slithered away from the earpiece. "Hey, ever seen a purple snake?" You head one of them ask, lifting your head seeing them all looking at you you closed your eyes shifted again, this time turning into the hulk...well a purple one. "Shit!" One of them yelled as you barreled at them, knocking them through the wall into the other room before stumbling back. You hated shifting into something this large, it took too much energy to maintain but with Loki a no show you didn't have a choice. You leaned on a desk, trying to catch your breath hearing footsteps running into the room "amethyst?" You heard Loki's voice making you turn. You closed your eyes, slowly shifting back to your alias as he walked into the now destroyed room.

"Um, you may want to.." he trailed off looking away waving his hand. You looked down in shock remembering when you shifted earlier you left your clothes in the corner. You quickly walked over, stepping into your suit, zipping it up you teetered to the side holding your head "what is wrong with you?" He snapped walking towards you "n..nothing...mm fine." You mumbled grabbing the folder you had come for "just tell me." He said grabbing your arm "why? It's not like you give a shit." You snapped turning back to him seeing two of him. "I do not want the team to think I have done something to you." He said releasing you "yes, c..cause it's all about you." You said, feeling tears well in your eyes "if it were up to you, you would let me die wouldn't you?" You snarked, stepping nose to nose with him when you heard something behind you.

You felt him grab your shoulders, trying to move you when a loud bang sounded through the room. A sharp pain shot through your back making you gasp and arch into him gripping his arms when he turned you holding you to him as he threw a dagger across the room with the other. "L..loki...what..." you stuttered, trying to reach behind you "amethyst, look at me." He said sternly making you look up. "You will be fine, we're going back to the jet." He said quietly staring into your eyes "n..no, y..you go." You said shakely feeling your knees buckle "no, we go together." He said stenrly pulling your arm over his shoulder. "Close your eyes." He said. Doing as he asked you looked down feeling a lurching feeling in your stomach before he began to pull you forward "we are almost there." He said. You looked up seeing the jet in front of you

"l..loki." you gasped, pain radiating through your chest as you stumbled forward hitting your knees on the ground "no, get up." He said pulling your arm "i...I can't." You breathed feeling the familiar tingle in your body, dread filling you at what was about to happen "l..leave me!" You urged trying to pull free "no, you will get up now." He said sternly pulling you to your feet when your knees gave out again. "Your going to make me carry you aren't you?" He snarked, reaching behind your knees lifting you up "i..I'm sorry." You rushed out feeling your lungs tighten "it was only an argument, it is..." you cut him off "n..no...i...I'm sorry f..for..." you tried to take a breath in but it felt like there was a weight on your chest "stop talking, reserve your energy." He said walking up the ramp to the jet, laying you on a gurney you felt him pull the straps around you as your body began to change.

"Y...y/n?" He said shakely. You opened your eyes looking up at him seeing shock written across his face. You lifted your arm, seeing your fingers and hand were no longer thin and slender. "Loki.." you whispered feeling tears in your eyes when he stepped back "w..what is this? Have you been following me? How did you..." he trailed "n..no, I...I didn't..." You said grabbing your chest "i..." you gasped looking to the ceiling seeing black spots floating in your vision "you will explain when we return." He said sternly placing an oxygen mask on you. You looked up trying to memorize his face as your eyes slowly closed.

You opened your eyes, the bright light above you making you squint when you tried to lift your arm, a clang drawing your attention when you glanced down seeing a handcuff around your wrist and attached to the bar on the gurney. "What the.." you started when someone cleared their throat, looking up seeing Tony bringing a chair over sitting down next to you "so, what's the story?" He asked crossing his arms sitting back. You sighed, trying to sit up, wincing at the pain in your back "my name is y/n, I was born with the ability to shift into whatever from I chose." You said looking down "I chose amethyst, because.." you trailed off waving your free hand over yourself "amethyst is tall, beautiful, desirable...y/n is...not." whispering the last part you saw Tony shift in his seat. "Prove it, shift to amethyst." He said watching you intently. You closed your eyes focusing feeling the tingle run through you, opening them seeing Tony nodding "tell me something only you would know." He said glaring.

You sighed looking down again "two years ago you were in the lab late at night, you fell asleep at your desk and Clint snuck in with a permanent marker and drew a..." he cut you off "ok ok, your you, but kid why did you lie?" He asked "I just thought, If no one wanted the real me, maybe they would want this." You said waving your arm again. "Amet...y/n, your beautiful the way you are, you don't need to hide yourself." He said making you laugh. "W..where is Loki?" You asked looking up "in his room I think, he hasn't come out since you got back a few days ago." He said as you nodded. "I'll go get Bruce and see when you can go to your room." He said standing up unlocking the cuffs. "Thanks Tony." You said seeing him smile as he walked out.

Bruce had cleared you to go back to your room, making sure you didn't do anything strenuous or he would make you come back. You tentatively agreed and were sent on your way. You spent the next couple of days in your room, trying to rest but your conscience was eating you alive. Everytime you closed your eyes you saw the look on Loki's face as you laid on that gurney, the betrayal written on his face as he watched you shift. You sat up, seeing it was past two am and decided it would be safe to go for a snack. You got up, slipping your robe on you looked in the mirror, taking a deep breath as you walked to the door going out for the first time as yourself.

You walked into the kitchen freezing seeing Loki sitting at the counter sipping tea. You started to back up, heading back to your room when his voice caught your attention "you do not have to leave, I'm going." He said standing up not looking at you as he placed his cup in the sink "l..loki wait, please." You asked as he proceeded to walk past you as if you weren't there "loki...please just listen." You pleaded grabbing his arm as he pulled it from you "listen to what? How you lied to me..manipulated me in to caring for you?" He snapped taking step towards you "n...no, I didn't mean..." he cut you off with another step "didn't what, mean to get caught? How long was your plan to last hmm?" He asked, his eyes boring into you "no! Loki please.." you trailed off taking a step back "it wasn't like that." You said wrapping your arms around yourself "oh it wasn't? Then pray tell what was it about?" He asked crossing his arms.

You took a deep breath looking into his eyes "i...I wanted to tell you...so many times I wanted to." You said feeling your eyes burn "but i...I was a coward, yes I lied...yes I hid it from you but..." you trailed off looking down "when you look like this...you would kill to be anyone else." You said. "When you first came here I liked you, like alot." You huffed a laugh wiping your cheek "and I saw the women you flirted with and I knew..." you said looking up seeing his eyes soften "I would never have a chance. Im not thin, or pretty or what they are...so yes I lied...I kept up the illusion hoping maybe one day she would have a shot." You laughed feeling a tear run down your cheek. "And when I ran into you at the coffee shop I panicked, I wanted to say something but you were so nice, and kind and just...perfect" you whispered looking down at your feet. "I didn't want to lose that, to lose you." You said.

"I'm sorry I deceived you, I never meant to hurt you I just...I knew we would never be more then friends and I would rather have you as a friend then not at all." You said shifting back and forth "but I understand if you don't want to be around me anymore, I'll leave you alone." You said quickly walking past him, wanting to be in your room as quick as possible when you felt his hand wrap around your arm "wait...there is something you should see." He said gently turning you around. "You are not the only one hiding y/n." He whispered. You watched him close his eyes, his hands sliding down to yours gripping them tightly. His fingers felt like ice as you looked down seeing his hands turn blue, the color traveling up his arm "loki...what..." you trailed off looking up as his the pale skin of his face turned blue, ridges raising across his smooth skin when he opened his eyes.

"This is me y/n, the real me." He said, his bright red eyes studying you as you stepped closer. "I am not asgardian like my brother, I am jotun...a frost giant...deemed a monster." He said looking down "I was lied to my entire life by the man who raised me to hate my own kind, that they were beasts. So, I hid behind my own illusion not letting anyone see me, because i believed no one could ever love what i am." He said looking down at your joined hands "but, your beautiful." You said as his eyes met yours "so are you dove?" He smiled reaching up cupping your cheek.

"If I am being honest, I was enchanted with you the moment I ran into you. Your smile, your bright beautiful eyes, your wit... you are more beautiful then you know." He said smiling "and the day i was called away...we were called away, I was going to ask if you would allow me to court you." He said taking another step forward, his chest pressing to yours "so y/n, will you do me the honor of being mine?" He asked. "I would love nothing more Loki." You smiled leaning into his touch. "May I do something I have wanted to do since I met you?" He asked leaning his face closer to yours "y..yes..." you breathed feeling his lips gently brush yours, it was soft and perfect but you needed more.

You leaned up into him, reaching a hand into his hair you deepened the kiss, nipping at his bottom lip with your teeth hearing him groan, feeling his lips parts you slipped your tongue past them, exploring his mouth feeling his hand wrap around the back of your head, his other sliding around your waist pulling you onto him. You pulled back slightly panting pressing your forehead to his "that was better then I imagined." He whispered making you laugh. "So, would you like to join me for coffee tomorrow?" You asked looking up into his eyes "yes, I would like that very much." He said smiling. "Allow me to walk you to your room." He said lacing his fingers with yours he guided you down the hall, stopping in front of your door he brought your hand to his lips kissing the back of it. "Goodnight y/n, I will see you in the morning." He said releasing your hand making you immediately miss his touch.

"Ok, see you then." You said opening your door slowly walking in. You looked around the dark room, your heart already missing him you looked back seeing him start down the hall "Loki.." you called out watching him turn back with a smile "yes dove?" He asked stepping closer. "Fuck it." You whispered gripping the front of his shirt you drug him to you, latching your lips to his as he let you pull him inside kicking the door closed behind him. For the first time in your life you were never happier to just be you...

@vbecker10 @mochie85 @lokisgoodgirl @springdandelixn @kinky-faerie @xorpsbane @midnights-ramblings @simping-for-marvel @holdmytesseract @kkdvkyya @slpnbty2001 @lokixryss @vane28282 @violethaze @coldnique @aniar4wniak @nate-ate-hate @buttercupcookies-blog @brattymum96 @dukes2581 @your-taste-on-my-lips @mybabyh @blog-the-lilly @irishhappiness @sinsandguilt @filthyhiddles @lovebyloki @kikster606 @javagirl328 @misunderstoodself @highkeysimpingforloki @eleniblue @commanding-officer @athalialaufeyson @stupidthoughtsinwriting @lokiandbuckysdoll @loopsisloops @joyful-enchantress @jaidenhawke @silverfire475 @high-functioning-lokipath @kittiowolf210 @slytherclaw1227 @joyfullymassivewhispers @wolfsmom1 @libbybeaz @lokikissesmyforehead @goblingirlsarah @thomase1

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softie-rain · 8 months ago

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PLEASE WRITE A MIZZEN X FEM TRIBUTE READER HEADCANNONS PLEASE IT CAN BE ROMANTIC OR PLATONIC U CHOSSE THANK YOU

Mizzen my beloved!!!!!!!!!! Hope you like these :) Sorry for any grammar mistakes. Sorry this took so long 🫶🏻

Obviously you're not from the same district, I think you're probably from District 5 or 6

He'd notice you on the train that brings you to the Capitol, but build up the courage to talk to you only later on when you're in the Zoo

You're very shy and quiet at first, but who can blame you? You're scared and also don't want to trust anyone. You know that in the end, one way or another, each one of the tributes will try to kill you

But Mizzen is so nice to you. You can't help but smile and talk to him!! You share little anecdotes of your days in the District, and he does the same with you, trying to distract you from the inevitable. And you do the same for him

You spend lots of time together at the zoo, talking and comforting each other

During Arachne's funeral (if you're from 5) he'll try to comfort you by subtly leaning his hands over you, though you can't take it because you're chained, but you surely understand the gesture and will hug him right after ):

The night before the Games Mizzen will talk to Coral and ask her if you can join their small alliance

Although you're the same age, you're shorter and look weaker, which leads people to underestimate you, which is exactly what Coral does.

When the Games do starts you don't even try to go for the weapons, you'll try to escape and hide instead

You somehow manage, and when the dust is settled, Mizzen will come out to look out for you. Totally against Coral's advice lol

When he finds you, your first instinct is to run away. But when you notice it's Mizzen you calm down, and I feel like he'd hug you and tell everything is alright IDC THAT YOU'RE IN THE ARENA, OKAY. HE WOULD

Coral will reluctantly let you join the alliance, where you live in constant fear of Treech and Tanner

But Mizzen will do anything to protect you and save you from any threat you may receive from them!!

Literally everyone but Mizzen hates that you joined them because they think you're weak and will just slow them down until Coryo and Sej get into the arena

You despise them because they're Capitol, and when you manage to injure Sejanus while they're escaping, the others start to re-evaluate you

You're still terrified, but survival instinct kicked in

you help kill Lamina 😔💔

After that you don't have much more time together alone cause, you know. Snakes

Which is what kills you both. At least you don't have to see the other die. It just happens

#the ballad of songbirds and snakes #mizzen tbosas #mizzen x reader #mizzen tbosas x reader #mizzen x you #mizzen tbosas x you #mizzen tbosas headcanons #the hunger games

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toomuchracket · 9 months ago

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oh you don’t have to ask me twice about sharing thoughts about flatmate matty (even if i’ve been asking for birthday party matty the last couple of days…)

has either flatmate girlie or matty ever heard each other, um, getting themselves off? maybe one of them is alone at the flat thinking “oh, they won’t be back for a while so i’m gonna have some solo fun 😏” could be that girlie just had a stressful day and just really needs some relief because work has been horrible. as far as she knows matty is getting pissed with his mates at a pub so she enjoys some time with her vibrator. but turns out all the boys (but matty) got drunk way too quickly and he was like “wondering if girlie wants to cuddle and watch a movie instead of dealing with george rambling on about nonsense?” anyway, he comes back and doesn’t hear much at the beginning but then some muffled noises come from your room. he freezes on the spot all like “no no no no. it can’t be. fuck me. no.” he cannot help but get a bit closer to confirm that you seem to be having a good time and that’s almost too much for his brain and heart to handle. he just leans against the wall and slides down to sit on the floor with his hands covering his face in shame for not being able to move away.

anyway, that’s what came to mind. this is what happens when i have nothing to do on a saturday lol 🫠🤍

there are a couple of blurbs on this vibe (pardon the pun) already! but yes, he's sick at himself for sitting and listening to you, but he's just totally unable to leave - the way you sound is just... better than he ever could've dreamed (and trust, he's done a lot of that). he's CONVINCED he heard you whimper out his name, but surely he's just drunkenly imagining things, right? right? (wrong) anyway, he manages to slip back outside in the time after you cum (which he'll be mentally replaying every time he gets off, alone or not, for the rest of time) and before you leave your bedroom, having a quick smoke to calm down before making a big performance of coming back in just so you aren't caught off guard. as it turns out, you DO want to watch a movie with him, so he's fighting for his life snuggled up with you in your bed trying not to think about what you got up to in it a minute ago for the rest of the night lol. but then you fall asleep cuddled into him, and the horny thoughts leave his head in lieu of the usual ones about how in love with you he is. lovesick! <3

#mads answers asks #matty asks #fluff asks #smutty asks #flatmate!matty

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p-taryn-dactyl · 2 years ago

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What about Tony Stark x daughter! reader who's dating someone (Could be Peter, but doesn't have to be) and Tony makes some sort of sex joke when talking to the both of them, but doesn't realize his daughter is asexual (the joke made her a tad bit uncomfortable) and it ends in her coming out to Tony? If not that's totally okay, ty either way! <3

a/n: hi!! Thank you so much for this request!! I love writing asexual!reader, it makes me all nice and warm inside :) i headcanon tony as being the most accepting father ever so yes i am projecting during this fic lol. The joke in this fic is more of an off handed thing, like an innuendo maybe, because i don’t think tony would openly joke about the devils tango with his child word count: 1.1k

The loud conversations of the other patrons of the restaurants did little to hide the sound of your beating heart. Nerves on edge, you folded your napkin over and over, almost ripping it until you felt a warm hand covering your own. Looking up, you saw the concerned yet comforting expression of your boyfriend. Peter smiled at you and you felt a small part of your fear melt away. Taking a deep breath, you entwined your fingers with his, squeezing slightly. Everything would be okay, nothing could go wrong tonight. Your dad loved Peter, he saw him as a son long before you started dating him.

“I think I hear him,” Peter whispered into your ear, squeezing your hand, “Let’s do this before all my bravado melts away like the ice cream we’ll have for dessert.”

You laughed slightly, your eyes going to the front of the restaurant, watching as your dad joked with the hostess before walking arm-in-arm with Pepper towards your table. Peter stood up as they approached, pulling out a chair for Pepper. He stared at Tony awkwardly before slowly pulling out your dad’s chair for him. Pepper hid her smile behind her hand as Tony sat down with a false sense of haughtiness. You stifled your own giggle at Peter’s expression as he sat down, looking at you with wide eyes before turning back to address your parents.

“Mr. Stark, I-”

Tony held a hand up, pausing Peter’s train of thought. Your dad leaned forward, hands clasped in front of him as he looked at Peter over the tinted sunglasses resting on the bridge of his nose.

“Kid, I’ve trusted you in my lab, with my bots, I’ve trusted you with a suit to help the world. All I need to know is if I can trust you with my daughter?”

Peter nodded rapidly, seemingly stunned, a flush rising up his neck and cheeks. You covered his hand with yours, once more holding hands. Tony followed the movement with his eyes and after a minute, nodded and took off his sunglasses.

“Well, my part is over. Pep?”

Peter now looked genuinely terrified. You smirked slightly as you took a sip of your water, you knew your mother was an intimidating woman, you’ve seen politicians lose their poise just from one raise of her eyebrow. Peter’s eyes were wide as Pepper adjusted her silverware, waving out her napkin before laying it on her lap and bringing her eyes to meet Peter’s. Your boyfriend audibly gulped. You and Tony made eye contact before returning your attention to your respective partners.

“Let me be very clear. You make my daughter happy. If, and I mean every word, there is a day you let that happiness be broken because of your actions, you will regret it. I have friends in high and low places and if they can’t deal with you, I will do it myself.” Pepper finished her speech with a sip of the red wine you had ordered for her. Peter looked like he was about to pee his pants. He stuttered out a reply.

“If I ever break her heart, I’ll gladly accept your wrath, Ms. Potts.”

Your mom seemed to like that answer, as a wide smile grew on her face.

“Wonderful! Now, let’s look over the menu, I’m starving.”

As you looked over the menu, zoning out as you scanned over the options, you heard Peter and Pepper fall into a conversation over his schooling at MIT. A nudge against your calf made you look up at your dad, who was looking at you with a question in his eyes. You read it perfectly.

You okay?

You nodded, smiling softly before returning back to the menu. After a few moments, you decided on a sushi roll with lobster and mango as well as a side of gyoza. A waitress came over and took everyones order with ease before walking away, leaving your family to comfortable conversation. Mostly talking about school and secret hero business, you felt your dad’s social battery start to die out, the same slowly starting to happen to you. In an attempt to liven up the conversation, your dad looked at the two of you with a mischievous expression.

“So, I heard you two are sharing a hotel room tonight? Is this a ‘there’s only one bed’ situation?”

Something in the tone of his voice made you fidget, Peter looking over at you before answering.

“There’s only one bed as far as I’m aware, it was the cheapest option.”

Tony started to wiggle his eyebrows and a stream of thoughts ran rapidly in your mind.

Crap, he’s getting the wrong idea. You need to tell him, Y/N! Come on, he’s your dad, you can do this, tell him!

“Nothings going to happen, Dad!” You tried to match his joking tone but it came out as more of a squeal. Tony looked at you with concern, something in his eyes that you couldn’t interpret.

“Y/N, you and Peter are two consenting adults, I have no control over what you do as long as it’s safe and consensual-”

“I’m ace!” You blurted out, your eyes widening as you slapped a hand over your mouth. The table went silent, your parents looking at you with equally surprised expressions, Peter watching them with a protective glint in his eyes. You removed your hand from your mouth, lowering your eyes to the condensation that your drink had left on the table, drawing pictures in the water as you spoke.

“I’m-I’m asexual. I don’t like or want, uh, sex. I just don’t experience sexual attraction…” You trailed off, your voice already quiet as you waited for responses. What felt like years passed before you heard your dad whisper your name, raising your eyes to meet his. He had a sheen of tears in his eyes as he smiled at you.

“Thank you for telling me, I’m so proud. And I’m sorry if what I was insinuating made you uncomfortable.” The mature tone of your father’s voice threw you off and you smiled worriedly at your parents, Pepper returning your smile.

“So you don’t think I’m broken or I just don’t know what I’m talking about?”

Pepper was quick to answer.

“Oh honey, no. Being asexual isn’t being broken and if anyone tells you otherwise, they’re idiots who never developed advanced thinking.”

Peter sent your mom a grateful smile, not lost on you. Tony fidgeted a bit before saying something that shocked you.

“I’m demisexual. Your mother is the only person I’ve ever felt genuine sexual attraction to. Well, except maybe Steve Rogers.”

Pepper slapped Tony with her napkin as she laughed. You and Peter groaned at the mention of your dad’s not-so-fake crush on the Capsicle. The rest of the dinner went by smoothly, each of you ordering ice cream for dessert. That night, as you and Peter were cuddled up in the small hotel bed watching Doctor Who reruns, you wondered how you were so lucky for the people in your life.

#tony stark #tony stark x reader #tony stark x daughter!reader #pepper potts #pepper potts x reader #pepper potts x daughter!reader #peter parker #peter parker x reader #peter parker x fem!reader #asexual!reader #peter parker x asexual!reader #asexuality

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dangerously-human · 1 year ago

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The scene after the attempted Skull rescue, the one with the "I found Lucy" line, is SO funny on reread. Lockwood is so obviously walking around with giant heart eyes, still energized from the thrill of an insane mission with his crush, feeling genuinely optimistic for the first time in a while that Lucy might rejoin the team, and he's so transparently attempting to flirt. He repeatedly compliments Lucy/her skills (a partial source of their conflict previously, he's showing he trusts her), reassures her, throws in a nudging reminder that she doesn't work there anymore by pointing out that he would totally be giving her a raise right now if she did (good thing they don't have HR), grins at her like the doofus in love that he is, and generally goes out of his way to make her laugh and blush. George even teases him for his lil pose leaning against the desk, and you can totally hear Lockwood's thought process, lol (Okay, if I stand at this angle, the light should catch my best side. Gotta make it look casual. Is Lucy looking at me? Excellent. Now I've just got to add the perfect flirty line. Wait - let me remind her I jumped into a hellhole to find her and told her I'd die for her. Maybe eventually we should revisit that conversation and everything I was trying to confess to her at the time, but hmm, things are too calm right now, gotta wait for another life-and-death moment for that kind of honesty). Then he goes ahead and invites her to join him for a date investigation, but with George, and a chiller vibe, because can't do two definitely-not-a-death-defying-date-night outings in a row, that would be Too Much.

#personal #rachel liveblogs #lockwood & co

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be-the-glenn-to-my-maggie · 1 year ago

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I really REALLY like your locorro Hunger Games au I can’t stop thinking about it 247 I’m so obsessed i dreamed about it my head in the clouds every seconds!! So i have to personally write to you here cuz it just BLOWS my mind like????✨💞✨ my god you made me want to watch hunger games again.

Btw i was thinking of another idea, what if spider and lo’ak are from different districts? Like complete strangers with connected history(their dads)?? I don’t know, maybe Spider could be from d12 and Peeta-coded. while Lo’ak from either d1,2 who, like your idea, was trained especially for the games by his fam?? Or vice versa?? And they met in the games and the history between their dads almost repeated? I imagine Quaritch a peacekeeper who may accidentally killed Neteyam(for angsty, his team did out of his order) And Jake(former victor) almost got his remaining kids killed by attacking Q? With this beef Spider and Lo’ak met in the game, i think Lo’ak would try to avenge his bro and the boy is wild(with his blicky esp lol) but Spider who is Peeta-coded doesn’t have a single bad bone. Imagine the irony when Lo’ak injured himself and the ONLY one who actually help him is his enemy. Or so he thought.

In the end Spider and Lo’ak become Katniss and Peeta and survived both??? I’m a happy ending kinda guy so I can’t handle one of them die when they started to get along well. Anyways! What’s your take? This just some thoughts I wanna share<3

AHHH I'm so so glad you liked it so much!! I get caught with certain au's playing in my head 24/7 all the time, to have inspired that is so exciting.

OH UR VOTING FOR CAREER LO'AK or Spider, I'm intrigued. I personally vibe much more with the Sully's being from district twelve. District twelve is pretty racially coded, and Katniss herself is supposed to be indigenous. The vibe of her having been trained naturally for the games with skills she learned and honed from being part of her culture just for survival fits so well with Avatar that I really can't part from it. That's why I love that idea of Jake and Neytiri planning and training the kids; I can't see them not doing that.

So I would lean career Spider. One of the most interesting parts of The Hunger Games is the careers, and the fact that even as the villains in the first movie and book, you quickly grow to see them as the victims they are. Katniss hates the careers up until she sees Cato's reaction to Clove's death, and she realizes that Cato and Clove were kids with feelings who were forced into this just like her. That Cato and Clove might have been hoping to somehow live together just like her and Peeta. The career districts are just setting their kids up for the best chance to live, and pitting the districts against each other is the best way for those in power to stay in power. SO, I think career Spider would be a fun idea (as much as I prefer when the kids all grow up together).

Spider's been pushed to be the best possible career he could his entire life. Quaritch, out of an abundance of fear for his kid but also knowing what is gained if his kid wins, makes like a 24/7 hell for Spider. Training does not stop when he leaves the facilities, no, Quaritch keeps it up at home. Never a second of peace. I think Spider is a naturally empathetic person, but watching the Games keeps him that way. He sees the kids he trained with die year after year, and instead of hardening him it makes him sad. He does not enjoy hurting people, and takes more naturally to the physical strength and endurance parts of his training. He's not really sure what else he'd even be of use for, he doesn't have any friends and his dad sucks, and his life is really pretty shit, so he figures he'll volunteer and make sure at least one other person doesn't have to go die that year.

Totally Lo'ak wouldn't trust him as far as he could throw him, which is not that far at all because Spider'd be tall as fuck and all muscle if he's been trained 24/7 by QUARTICH his entire life. So, Spider's fucking around the arena just vibing. He probably had to kill a person or two at the cornucopia and he was Not happy about it, but he kept that shit pretty visible because his dad says sponsors in one and two would hate a pussy and now he can actively spite his dead because he'll never see him again so who cares. He just kind of mentally breaks and experiences every single emotion he's never had before like, all the time. He's free for the first time in his life so he's just kind of enjoying himself even if it's in a death area, he doesn't know how to turn it off.

Unfortunately, letting himself be free and feel emotions comes with emotional growth and learning that is really really misplaced. He runs into Lo'ak by a stream and just freezes as he comes to the realization he's gay and attracted to that kid across the stream. He is processing this, mouth open staring at Lo'ak, when Lo'ak tries to shoot him in the face with an arrow. He only misses because he gets knifed in the back by another career who thinks Spider is all team career but comes to realize Spider would rather explore suddenly being gay then let someone who'd stab someone from behind live.

Cue the Peeta and Katniss injury healing in the cave bonding shit. Lo'ak is VERY mouthy and rude for someone who's life now depends on Spider, but that's fine. Once he decides Spider didn't save him for any shady reasons, Lo'ak becomes a pretty good bestie. He has extensive plant and forest knowledge that Spider soaks up like a sponge. Lo'ak tells him about his family, his life, and gets SPider to talk about himself and what he likes (nothing, he doesn't know, he has two things on the list; tree climbing and men). Eventually, one night while they stargaze in a tree Lo'ak showed Spider how to climb, unsocialized freak Spider tells Lo'ak he'll go kill the others in the area and then come back and let Lo'ak kill him so he can be the victor and get back to his family. He says this all matter of factly like he's telling him something they both already knew. Lo'ak fREAKS OUT and they have a big fight that results in them splitting up for the night.

Spider is distracted by losing his first friend, his first gay boyfriend (jokes lol), and doesn't notice anyone sneaking up on him until much too late. Lo'ak saves him from gettin' fULLY bludgeoned at the last second, he just got a nasty smack on the head. Lo'ak informs him it's really rude to die for people, and that Lo'ak wants him around and would like him to live. He argues if Spider has nothing going for him, neither does Lo'ak. He's the fuck up child. So Lo'ak talks him into their death pact that results in their double victory.

It's a beautiful idea and I love it. I hope this did it for you again, anon, lol.

Oh, and I'm 1000% sure if he lived Neteyam referred to Lo'ak's life being saved by his INSANE RIZZ all the time. And Neytiri and Jake were oBSESSED with Spider, who wanted to literally die for their son on national propoganda TV. They are his biggest fans, they love him more than Lo'ak sometimes it seems.

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blackwolfstabs · 1 year ago

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If you're ever low on ideas and comfortable with it, I've had this idea which means a lot to me that I'd love see you put into your own words one day.

Basically, some time after Scream VI, Chad and Tara try to work themselves up to doing the deed (no outright smut or explicit stuff though pretty please, not the point here), and Tara totally freaks out when she can't bring herself to take off her clothes and show all her scars to another person. While I wouldn't expect Chad to really care about his, I'd always thought this would be an issue for Tara considering how much she wants to feel normal after everything that happened to her. As someone who still has visual reminders of a prior major surgery, I can speak from experience that feeling like you're less beautiful or desirable because of that is a really terrible thought. I can totally picture Tara feeling all the nervous butterflies about the sacred occasion of losing her virginity only to realize the scars from her snapped leg and all the stabby stabbies, everything she's trying to forget, are never going away. Feel free to experiment with how they'd react to and handle this situation, it was just a fleeting idea, but I think it could be something really sweet.

P.S.: You're like the only writer I know of that appreciates Chara and I just wanted to thank you for that because I adore them sooo much lol, they don't get enough love.

aww it's all my pleasure, dear anon. i hope i do your idea justice! 🫡

here you go:

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

IF YOU LOVE HER

Drawing stars around Tara's scars.

fandom: Scream pairing: Tara Carpenter × Chad Meeks-Martin characters: Tara Carpenter & Chad Meeks-Martin a/n: i love this idea sm and i actually got really into it so my apologies if i went too deep or made it too long. you've got good taste, my friend :)

───────────────────────────

“Are you sure?” Chad whispered, his forehead locked with Tara’s as they blinked into each other’s chocolate eyes.

Tara nodded, not breaking her eye-contact, even though she was trembling. She loved Chad, she did, and if anyone was going to take her virginity, she wanted it to be him. It’d be safe with him, for she was sure he loved her just the same. They had been through so much together. She couldn’t ask for a better partner. “Yeah,” she breathed, “I want to…”

In the privacy of his half-lit bedroom, he nodded and removed his shirt, letting her take the lead as she gently pushed him down onto his bed. She climbed on top of him, her legs straddling him to lean down and capture his lips.

Tara melted into her boyfriend quickly, pulled in by the serene essence of the night and his love. She felt his hand slide over the small of her back and move towards her hip, while she trailed her fingers down his right pec to his rib cage. Her fingertips curled into his ribs as his own slipped beneath the band of her pants.

They parted, but Chad kept his digits beneath the hem. He eased them a little farther to have the tips meet her underwear. She shuddered with a small gasp, instinctively dropping her pelvis as if to stop him from going any further. His face must’ve changed a little to show some concern, because she quickly looked away.

“I-I’m sorry…” She grew shy as she hesitated on where to look.

“Is that too far?” he quizzed, retreating his hand a little bit.

“No, it’s fine, I just…”

“Would you rather do it?” He tucked a stray piece of hair behind her ear to catch a better glimpse of her face.

She took a deep breath, before gathering up the courage to look him in the eyes again. “No. I trust you.” Her voice was barely above a whisper.

He nodded. “Okay…” He turned his face to the side to kiss the arm she still had bordering his head. She then resumed her former position again, and he decided to take a different approach. “We’ll do this first.” He moved his hand away from her bottoms and eased her shirt up, until he met her bra-line.

Carpenter braced herself against the fresh air that corralled the newly exposed skin of her torso. She knew the build-up to giving her virginity away was supposed to be nerve-wracking and anxiety-inducing, but she knew that the intensity she felt growing in the pit of her stomach was of a different essence. However, she had to keep herself together. This was the hard part. After everything was off and out of the way, there was no going-back and hopefully, she would be immersed into a world of love and not rejection. That’s how sex went, right? It was captivating and a rather surreal experience? Guess she was going to find out. But she had to stay strong to get there, so she ducked her face into the crook of Chad’s neck to try and compose herself.

Her boyfriend breathed in her warm scent, leaning his head against hers as he wrapped his arm around the bare portion of her back with one arm and used the other to tug her pants down a little bit. He heard her give a small whimper, to which he kissed her shoulder. “There’s nothing to be scared of, Tara,” he assured her, “I got you.”

She felt his nose brush her ear lobe as he said this, his breath tickling her neck. As safe as she felt in his arms, she couldn’t manage to make any words and instead, just nudged his jawline in a nod. She was wearing high-waisted pants that were steadily pulled to a mid-rise and then a low-rise as Chad edged them further down her hips.

Her heart skipped a beat, jumping into a race that made her nearly start to panic. His other arm brushed her spine, forearm pressing through her bra to leave his fingers closing around her ribs. She shut her eyes tightly and pressed her lips to his neck, forcing herself to focus on softly suckling his skin to fight herself from changing her mind.

Below her, Meeks-Martin heard a shuddering breath that mimicked her figure. He knew she was anxious about this, especially with how protective her older sister was and how inhumanely her body had been handled before. That was why he let her be on top for her first time. Both of her Ghostface attacks—which had left her with trauma she still re-lived—ended with her pinned beneath her attacker. He was well aware of what having her take the submissive position might do. The hand that held her ribcage slid down the curve of her flank, finding new territory that hadn’t been explored from the coverage of her pants.

His girlfriend accidentally traded her lips for her teeth, biting down on his sternocleidomastoid muscle. It was a fearful kind of nip, so it wasn’t necessarily painful, but it had caused him to pull one hand away from her hips and caress the side of her head.

“Easy, babe… Just breathe. I won’t hurt you…”

She swallowed uneasily, wanting to say something to assure him but also defend herself at the same time. She didn’t know what to do. However, when his fingers found the scars hidden on her lower abdomen and his arm pressed into the ones littering her lower back, she couldn’t take it. Every hurtful thought she could hold against her self-worth felt like a knife stabbing through her survivor’s tattoos again to emphasize the damage they did. Tears filled her eyes, and she didn’t even think twice as she pulled away. “I can’t!”

Chad sat up when she got off of him, finding her tugging her clothing back to their proper wear and hearing her breath hitch as she bowed her head in shame.

Tara’s chest went extremely tight as she broke down, eyes burning and butterflies swarming her stomach at the anxiety that cursed her yet again. But this time was different. She hated doing this to Chad, because he didn’t deserve it. “I–I’m sorry, Chad…”

“For what?” He moved to sit beside her. “What is it?”

More tears fell, seeming to grow thicker the longer she stared at her legs, which were clenched together. She felt his hand rub small circles on her back, but that just made her grow even more tense. Her initial reply was replaced with a sob that had her whole body jolting.

“Hey, hey, hey…” His concern grew, once she broke down completely, a few whimpers coming through her sobs as she covered her face with one hand and hugged her torso with the other. He got down on the floor to kneel in front of her, reaching up to brush her hair back. “It’s okay, Tara, it’s alright—”

“I ca-han’t do it, Chad!” she cut him off, only able to compose herself enough to get the shortest explanation she could out. “I-hit’s so uh-hugly!”

He paused his combing. “What’s ugly?”

Carpenter cringed inward on herself, clutching the flank of her shirt so tight that her knuckles turned white. She pulled her knees up to hug them with her other arm, hiding her face in the small space between her thighs and torso. “M-my scars…” She spit it out around her accumulating congestion.

Chad’s eyes immediately fell to the arm that curled around her legs, how her hand reached to the side that he couldn’t see. It was the hand that had that long scar gifted from self-defense against Ghostface—her first attack. What a reminder… What a memory…

What a tragedy…

The exact one that had him view her like she was the strongest person in the world, even though she was the smallest of the family they’ve made. She was the strongest. She had survived being stabbed 7 times, a broken ankle, blood-loss, surgery, a 2nd attack, facing-off with her attacker, suffering heartbreak, and spent another period in the hospital, which she had grown to hate… But after every single fallout, she picked herself back up and kept moving forward.

Tara Carpenter was the living proof and definition of a survivor.

And Chad Meeks-Martin was in love with her.

She wasn’t second-best or his chosen one, due to their share of trauma. He started falling from the first day they met all those years ago, when they were too young and naive to understand what love was, what pain was, what trauma was, and all of the things that divided them. Tara’s home-life started to go downhill around the same time he was getting serious into football, so he wasn’t around her much anymore. Being a jock came with many things that kept him present in his future yet absent in his past. And sadly, Tara was one of those things—those precious things that he had unknowingly been driven away from. Liv came along, and they hit it off for a while, but when Tara was attacked, it all changed.

He didn’t care if she had scars. He didn’t care if she was too scared to let him in. He didn’t care if she pushed him away and screamed at him to leave. He’d wait on her forever. He didn’t see her scars, when he looked at her. He saw his angel—the one he swore he’d never see living, in-person, and in his reach. Yet, she was. And had she not endured it all, he might have never gotten that privilege.

As she continued to cry, Chad spoke to her softly and sincerely. “No, they’re not. Tara, there’s nothing ugly about you—”

However, she denied him. “Yes, they– Chad, I’m hideous…”

She was convinced. Her scars were curses, hidden beneath her clothes to fool anyone that might actually want her. Anyone who might desire her. But she wasn’t desirable. One look at the marks giving her stomach, back, and legs an abstract design and anyone with a decent taste would turn away. She was destroyed, wasted, used, and corrupted. How could she be beautiful? How could she move on when every time she changed clothes, or took a shower, or wore anything but high-waisted jeans or pants reminded her of how defenseless, weak, and exposed she was? How alone she was… and that loneliness created a masterpiece that only the artist could admire. It must be hidden from the rest of the world or else it would leave others feeling sick and appalled.

Because she wasn’t supposed to be a piece of art. She was supposed to be dead.

Who could ever love her intimately when she was literally a human pincushion?

Chad could. And he did.

“Tara,” his voice was a little stronger this time. He slipped his hand onto her thigh and encouraged her to lower her legs. “Tara…” Luckily, she did lower her legs, but both arms held herself tightly and she hesitated to look up. “Hey…”

Tara sniffled and wiped her nose, before raising her eyes enough to look at him. And of all things… he smiled at her.

“Stop, that isn’t true,” he told her. His eyes shimmered in the low lighting. “I’ve never met someone more beautiful than you. Your scars aren’t ugly. They don’t change who you are. I promise you, one day, you’re gonna look at every single one of those scars as a reminder of how strong you are.” Her soulful eyes just blinked at him, glossy as more tears slid down her cheeks. He wiped them away. “You’re so strong, babe.”

In that moment, she swallowed, staring at him as she recalled those traumatic memories. The phone calls, the teases, the taunts, the stabbing, the crawling, the begging, the screaming… Those things didn’t make her feel strong at all. They were demeaning and humiliating. “I don’t feel strong… I’m not fearless, like Sam. I’m not smart, like Mindy. I’m not reliable, like you…”

On the other hand, all her boyfriend could think about was her smile, her sharp-tongue, and her gorgeous eyes. The way she moved and how she handled everything that came her way. The way she loved him and how healing her existence was to him every day. She was the reason he fought, held on, and kept going. When he had sacrificed himself for her at the kill theater, taking a thousand stabs, while looking at her the whole time, telling her to “go”... he did that because he couldn’t live without her, and because he couldn’t live without her, he held on until he was found by paramedics and was united with her again. Everything she was saying about what she wasn’t couldn’t be more wrong. “You’re a survivor, Tara. You’re Tara Carpenter, and you’re not like other people. You’ve got a will that’s so strong, you’ve managed to look death in the eyes and win… multiple times. And those scars are proof of it.” She was unparalleled to anyone else in this world. “You are you. There’s 7 billion people in this world, and you’re the perfect one for me. What are the odds of that?”

Tara bit her lip. She wanted to believe him. Truly, she did. But she hated all that her body had become, especially when it had to be exposed in situations like these. They weren’t mental scars that time would heal, they were scars that would be there forever. She would never be able to escape what had happened to her, no matter how long she lived or how much she may try to cover them up.

“I love you, Tara.”

Her breath hitched as she sniffled. “I love you too, Chad…” Her next words were barely audible, when they came out. “Thank you…”

Chad just smiled at her. Even with her bloodshot eyes and runny nose, she was flawless. He reached out and took her left hand. His thumb brushed over the long scar tainting the top of it.

She didn’t dare look down, the soft touch making her lips quiver again as more tears threatened to fall.

But then he brought it up to his lips and trailed a line of gentle kisses along the length of the scar, covering the pain it caused her with loving stitches.

Tara watched him do this, then glanced up to his face when he lifted it and guided her hand to rest against his cheek. “Chad…”

“You are so beautiful,” he simply replied. And to his surprise, he received the smallest smile from her, even through her tears. Then, he dropped his eyes to where her right arm guarded her torso. He squeezed her hand a little, “Can I see them?”

She froze, her anxiety climbing again. Her brow twitched, fighting herself to stay where she was and not pull away from him again. He deserved this. He deserved this.

If he loved her…

He did love her. There wasn’t a single doubt in her mind. So, she exhaled a shaky breath and nodded, slowly removing her right arm and retreating her left to uncover the sacred tattoos that made her a palette of a million colors, some not even of this world. She held her breath as she tugged the hem of her shirt up with one hand, then pulled her pants down with the other to expose her stomach.

There were two big scars, one just below her left rib cage and the other beneath her navel on the right side. Chad moved to be directly in front of her and was actually allowed to come closer when she opened her legs for him to kneel between them. His hands were soft as he placed them on her warm sides. He felt her shudder, telling him she was still hesitant about revealing her permanent demons. But instead of trying to talk her down again, he bowed his head and pressed his lips against the first scar. Just like he had done with her hand, he moved along its length, stitching up her hurt with his affection.

Tara stiffened at first, her muscles tensing at the feeling of this kind of attention, but then she let go of the breath she was holding back. His lips moved from the left side of her ribs to duck beneath her arm and give the scars he could reach on her back the same treatment. She let him do it. Her head stayed bowed, and she gripped the hem of her shirt, holding it steady against her frame to force herself into this uncomfortable position she knew she could trust. However, she couldn’t stop the tears that continued to fall or the whimpers that slipped out when his kiss would trigger another bad thought.

But her boyfriend never failed to calm her butterflies even if it was only for a moment. As he drew back, he slid his right hand around her back to rub it and continued to do so when he began to kiss the other mark on her lower belly. She breathed in, and he could feel her skin press into his lips.

She was starting to calm down. She was starting to trust him.

Then, he took his left hand and traced his fingers down her flank to meet the hem of her pants. He pulled one side off her hip.

Panic. Her heartbeat picked up, leading her to slightly squeeze her legs around him. “N-no, Chad—”

Chad blinked up at her. He didn’t move any further. “I won’t do much. Just wanna see…”

Tara hesitated. She felt her formerly injured leg twinge at the way she had it positioned. Then, she relaxed and helped him tug her pants off all the way. Bare against the air conditioning, it was only instinctive that she wanted to pull her legs up to her chest, however his hand eased up her ankle, along her calf, over her knee, and up her thigh. Her eyes never left his, but she dropped her shirt to rest her wrists over his shoulders, rubbing her fingertips against his thoracic vertebrae.

He ran his hand back down, caressing right at her ankle, where it had been snapped by a devil’s wish.

How that scream had ripped her throat… It was so painful… Tara swore it had been so guttural that, had she not passed out, she would’ve spit up blood on the way to the hospital.

Chad held it in his hand, rubbing it with gentle squeezes in between. And as he gazed at her, he saw her lips start to upturn. Then, her leg flinched, trying to pull away from his hold. He knew why, and it made him smile back at her, relieved that she was no longer anxious and fearful of being exposed to him. “Do you trust me?” he asked this as he glided his hand back up her leg to rest on her hip, bringing himself closer to her.

Carpenter nodded instantly, though her voice was still soft. “Yeah…” She blinked as he wiped stray tears from her cheeks.

Then they joined at the lips, taking a moment to melt into each other’s comfort. But it wasn’t too long, for the congestion that blocked Tara’s airways from crying cut it short.

Chad grazed his knuckles along Tara’s jawline, watching her eyes close at the touch. “I think you should get some rest for tonight, okay?”

Her eyelids parted and slowly raised.

“We can try again tomorrow.”

She nodded with a small sigh.

Tomorrow was another day…

Another day she’d survive.

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p.s. i'm sorry this took a while, anon.. i hope you're still around! ♡

- parker (BWS)

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