#(just the officers- which we really only see fleshed out in the books tbh)

[lacomandante]

That Patrick O' Brian quote about the Sharpe series is so funny bc it's true and unfortunately Tom Clegg (Sharpe series director) was the same exact way. Would cry tears of joy watching his battle scenes behind the camera but when it came to interpersonal scenes that fleshed out relationships and characters he didn't give two shits.....alas

[ilosttrackofthings]

I’ve decided to reread Harry Potter for the first time in a decade for Halloween (because reasons I guess) and here are my thoughts/observations as of finishing CoS.

I continue to hate Dumbledore. I’m definitely seeing him as more fleshed out, but that doesn’t make him better. Like, he’s really good with the kids, he clearly still understands what it’s like to be young and sympathizes with them in ways adults tend not to, it’s easy to see why Harry hero worships him. But that’s just the problem because understanding the kids also means he’s better at manipulating them.

It’s even addressed! Someone brings up that it almost seems like Dumbledore arranged everything in PS so Harry would face Voldemort and Harry, being an eleven year-old, defends him by saying that Dumbledore just knew he needed the chance to face him. Which makes sense because he’s ELEVEN, but anyone with critical thinking skills should be like “ummmmm...” So yeah. I still hate Dumbledore.

And guys it’s so obvious he was always gay! He wears a flower bonnet at Christmas! It’s S U B T E X T

The centaurs so clearly already know Harry’s gonna die and the first time it reads like they know he’s in danger or like he circumvents fate but NO it’s the future-future and my HEART

I never appreciated before how witty Snape is. His protection for the stone is a riddle and his final for the first years is to brew a forgetfulness potion from memory. And when Ginny’s taken to the Chamber, he’s the one who steps in and gets Lockhart out of the way. And he’s a jerk to the kids but we also see him being at least decent to his coworkers. If he could’ve just gotten over Lily, he could’ve had his own child to send to Hogwarts to torment Harry instead of having to work through Draco (who, frankly, is a little shit. I still love him but man does he make it rough).

The Improper Use of Magic office sends Harry a reminder that Muggles shouldn’t be exposed to magic via an owl that drops the letter on a Muggle’s head. Nice.

Dumbledore says in PS that he’s leaving Harry with the Dursleys in part because it will be better for his development; he won’t grow up knowing he’s this famous figure and get a big head or something. (Obviously this is a complete lie, there’s plenty of meta out there about this being not only because of the Lily’s blood thing but also because it’s a great way for Dumbledore to make himself a heroic figure in Harry’s life; regardless I’m still gonna tear it apart.) Except that Harry winds up with no idea how to handle his own fame. If he’d grown up knowing about it, he could’ve developed mechanisms to deal with awkward moments and people taking him off guard and all that uncomfortable stuff we see him struggling over throughout the books.

In CoS we see the teachers suddenly giving out points like Mardi Gras beads. In PS the kids had to do something exceptional to earn points but now they’re getting them just for throwing out answers in class. Which makes me think the teachers, after six years of Slytherin wins, were being stingy with the points to try to hold them back from a seventh year win.

Am I still bitter the House Cup was stolen from them in PS? A little less tbh. There’s an argument to be made Harry and co earned those points (even if it’s obnoxiously obvious that Dumbledore gave them just enough to put them over) but should they have been awarded at the feast already being held in Slytherin’s honor? This wasn’t like CoS where the feast was an impromptu thing immediately after the climactic battle. There was plenty of time in between to dole out those points without embarrassing Slytherin.

After spending a year blindly buying into Lockhart’s bullshit, Hermione will go on to out Lupin as a werewolf. I know Snape basically fed her all the info, but I really think the shame of being so utterly wrong about Lockhart (especially when the boys were right) really stuck with her.

Listen, I am trying to like Dobby here, he’s enduring terrible punishments and risking worse just to protect this child he’s never met, but his speech pattern is sooo much like Gollum’s and that is not helping.

Speaking of, based on everything that happens there’s no reason to assume Dobby doesn’t see Petunia take a swing at Harry with a frying pan and he still goes through with his “stay with the Dursleys” plan. Because that wouldn’t kill him.

Back in PS, after sending Norbert off to Charlie, Harry and Hermione are caught coming down from the Astronomy Tower by McGonagall. (Ron is absent because he was bitten by Norbert and needed medical treatment to avoid losing his hand.) In CoS, when Hermione’s petrified and McGonagall is taking Harry aside to tell him, Ron is almost an afterthought, only being brought along because he shows up. I’m just saying, McGonagall thought Harry and Hermione were making out on the Astronomy Tower and that they’re an adorable tween couple.

Tom: “You think I was going to use my filthy Muggle father’s name forever?” But... But it’s there, Tom. It’s right there. In your new name. ‘Cause you made it out of the letters of your old name. You’re still carrying him around, Tom.

As I’m reading I’m mentally comparing these to what I remember of the films (I haven’t watched them since even before my last reread so I don’t remember much) and imagining a more faithful netflix series version. The only thing so far that I’d want changed from the way it plays out in the books is the Percy/Penelope revelation. He should’ve gotten a big reunion with her at the feast.

[starbuck]

Terror Notes: “Go For Broke”

well… I guess I’m really doing this! Some proper, bullet-pointed notes for each episode of The Terror, starting with ep 1: Go For Broke!

I wrote these out last night (and edited them this morning to make them readable - you’re welcome!) so I hope that y’all enjoy my thoughts and assorted nonsense! I tried to save my comments for points I actually wanted to make because I feel like they bring something to the table but I still ended up writing A Lot lol

I love that Crozier couldn’t even be bothered to be present in welcoming Sir John and Fitzjames onto Terror, making Little and Hodgson do it by themselves. One could argue that he had important captain-y things to be doing at that time or something but I’m not 100% sure that wasn’t the case. 

idk if it’s just the angle, but I paused the episode just as the shot of the officer’s mess is coming in from above and Hodgson’s hands make me so uncomfortable. They look so bone-y and weird. (Just what you came here for, I know. Hand commentary.)

Cannot tell you how uncomfortable it is, after many rewatches, to listen to Fitzjames recounting in a casual, lighthearted manner 1) shooting people 2) people catching fire (and burning to death), and 3) their burning flesh smelling “like roast duck” (so, like something edible) and it’s even more uncomfortable to have the closeup be on Hodgson’s face as he laughs at the ‘roast duck’ comparison.

On a lighter note: I love that Fitzjames felt the need to remind everyone what size cherries are by illustrating it with his fingers. In case they forgot, I guess? As someone who occasionally speaks unnecessarily with my hands, big mood tbh.

I LOVE it when Fitzjames gives Little that affirmative tap on the arm after he compares Fitzjames’s injury to Lord Nelson’s. My friend Eli and I refer to it as The Fitzjames Arm Tap. I would like a Fitzjames Arm Tap, pretty please.

God, Sir John loudly setting his hands on the table to try to dispel the tension from the ‘birdshit island’ debacle as he attempts to change the subject is so funny. I’m gonna stop just pointing out things I find funny soon, I swear, but I just cannot handle this scene.

Between Hodgson looking horrifically embarrassed by Crozier’s outburst at Fitzjames and Little looking nervous when Crozier shoots him a look as Sir John says that there’s no reason to be concerned about the ice, it really does seem that they were having to ‘manage’ him even back in ep 1 when his alcoholism wasn’t completely out of hand.

Personal sidenote about this: My Pop-pop is often rude to workers in stores and restaurants (he doesn’t drink thank goodness but he has Alzheimer’s coming on which has worsened his temper) so I very much understand the feeling of being on-edge that an outburst is going to occur and trying to deal with the fallout when it does. Just going by my own experience, I can imagine Little apologizing to Fitzjames for Crozier’s rudeness as soon as they were out of Crozier’s earshot (not that anything Little could say would heal the deep psychological wound that Crozier created but hey, it’s something).

The way that Sir John brushes aside Dr. MacDonald’s and Crozier’s concerns about moving Young when he’s in such bad shape never fails to upset me but also ~foreshadowing for hauling the ill on boats oooohhh~

I said I was done pointing out random things that amuse me but the speed and agility with which Des Voeux pops out of the hatch and onto the deck after Orren falls into the water is just so funny. I could watch that two second clip on repeat all day. Might gif it so I actually can.

Is this a good time to point out that there’s also a scene in Moby-Dick where someone falls from high up on a mast and drowns? It’s in a chapter all about bad omens experienced by the crew of the Pequod and The Terror definitely has some similar vibes going on with the sun dogs displayed in the establishing shot of Erebus in that scene and David Young, a “warning of things to come,” on his way over.

The second(?) time I watched the part where Young tells Stanley that he didn’t think anything of getting headaches since he’s always gotten them, I had this thought pass through my head that was like “oh god, I had chronic migraines for years so I’d never have known if I had lead poisoning either!” but then I realized that this probably was not a relevant concern I should have.

Not sure I have any deep commentary on this but as Gore informs Sir John and Fitzjames about the blocked propeller, he’s standing in the same spot, in the same room as Goodsir will stand next episode to tell them about his death.

Also regarding this scene, I love how Gore waits for Fitzjames to give him the go-ahead to leave before actually going. I know that Fitzjames is his superior officer too but, since Sir John already dismissed him, it seems like waiting for Fitzjames’s approval isn’t really necessary, yet a nice thing to do. Perhaps this is a legitimate formality, but something similar happens later in this episode in the command meeting when Crozier asks Gore how many sun dogs he’s seen; he looks to Fitzjames and waits for his nod before answering Crozier. He doesn’t look to Sir John, he looks to Fitzjames. I know that we know essentially nothing about Gore but like.. underrated ship???? Just saying…

Ten nights ago, I was unable to get to sleep for at least an hour because I started thinking about David Young’s saying “I want to go to my grave as I am” and, of course, that ultimately doesn’t happen for him but also, this, like all things about him, is a “warning of things to come.” I’m pretty sure that no one else was properly buried until, arguably, Fitzjames and ironically, that was explicitly not what he wanted done with his body (and, since his grave was later looted by Hickey, similar to the way that Young’s autopsy ultimately achieved nothing, it didn’t really matter anyway).

I know that this happened exactly ten days ago because I forced myself to wake up and write it down in my notes app, lest I forget, which only prolonged my sleeplessness. I suffer for my analysis. 

Ah yesssss Tozer’s lesbian haircut. We love it! Why does my hair not look like that when I take a hat off? I’d like to file a complaint.

Was just thinking the other day about how Hartnell being the one to notice that there was something up with the ice in ep 1 is followed up on with Blanky complimenting Hartnell’s ability to read the ice to Crozier in ep 7. I wonder if Blanky ever gave him like. ice-reading lessons after becoming aware of his interest and natural talent at it in ep 1? That makes me happy to think about.

The two people who we’re shown awoken by Young’s screaming are Sgt. Bryant and Morfin and like. Do I even have to explain why that’s an Oof?

The way that Goodsir hesitates before knocking on Stanley’s door and Stanley irritatedly closing his book before answering the knock in an exasperated voice would be comedic in any other context. If I’m being honest, it still makes me laugh. As does Stanley’s “As if that weren’t plain.”

I’ve pointed this out before but mmmmm... that shot of Stanley in profile with the open candle flame in the background… the foreshadowing in this ep is thicker than the smoke at… Oh alright, I’ll stop. 

God, the autopsy/dive scene…. Collins being lowered down and entering the water paralleled with Goodsir’s initial cutting into Young’s corpse, the breaking up of the ice paralleled with the cutting of the bone-saw. But most significant to me is the parallel of what is seen/not seen and the long-term effect that this has. Collins sees Orren’s corpse (and then presumably never tells anyone about it), reinforcing his guilt over Orren’s death, the beginning of his mental health decline. Goodsir doesn’t see the cause of Young’s death in his autopsy and this not knowing about the lead poisoning until it’s too late to do anything about it is the cause of many of Goodsir’s later problems as well. And, to finish it all off, both the autopsy and Collins’ dive were ultimately for nothing (considering a spinning propeller is useless when your ships are frozen in). 

Crozier and Blanky’s simultaneous face journeys as Sir John rambles on about how there’s nothing to worry about and they’ll find the passage any day now are truly legendary.

I wrote some pretty extensive tags on this already but man… Crozier’s comment about how not all of Sir John’s men returned from one of his previous arctic expeditions is just so nasty and awful. Like, yes, Sir John is wrong to undersell the danger they’re in and Crozier is advocating for the correct position here, but that was completely uncalled for and horrible to say, particularly in a command meeting, in front of so many people. And Sir John looks legitimately upset by it too. He gets over it quickly, at least on the outside, but I still feel really bad for him (and I NEVER feel bad for Sir John so this is weird for me).

“But of course we will not be abandoning Erebus, or Terror…” Let’s check back in six episodes and see how that’s going! 

Crozier slamming his fist on the table to prove he’s not being melodramatic reminds me of this one post (that I sadly can’t find rn) about Jesus Christ Superstar that’s like “‘CUT OUT THE DRAMATICS’ Judas hollered dramatically.” It’s such an Overall Mood.

I don’t have a developed commentary on this at the moment but it’s an interesting reverse-parallel that Sir John had no concern for Young’s well-being when he was alive, ignoring Crozier’s concerns about moving him from ship-to-ship when he was in such poor health, yet now that he’s dead, Sir John is the one to recommend that Young be buried which Crozier is surprised by, and seems to feel is unnecessary.

There’s been so much amazing commentary already made about Young’s burial scene so I’ll skip it except to say that Hickey’s irritated sigh when he hears footsteps coming towards the grave is SO funny. That’s exactly how I feel when I know that someone is about to tell me something that will annoy me.

Goodsir was really getting into the emotion of Sir John’s “eulogy”/motivational speech before he remembered the promise he made about Young’s ring. Also, what triggered his memory was Sir John saying “We shall earn our loved one’s cheers and embraces,” so no doubt a reminder of the traumatic “Your loved ones will be there in Heaven to welcome you! :)” “I never knew my mother or father” exchange (or maybe just a reminder of the fact that he was supposed to get Young’s ring to his sister but just let me scrape a little humor out of this. God knows I need it).

The shot of Bryant praying in his hammock the night before they get completely frozen-in is honestly deeply upsetting to me. Especially considering he’s a marine so he Did Not Ask To Be Here, yet there he’ll die.

According to Melville, ship’s compasses occasionally spun round-and-round when a ship was caught in a severe storm and this was an incredibly upsetting thing to behold because of how disorienting it was. So, considering that, Fitzjames keeps his composure pretty well but he clearly has some reservations about how things are going and Sir John has no comforting-sounding remark about ‘Magnetic North’ to offer him now.

The bit where Sir John “sees” Crozier, on Terror, turn away from him with a half-smirk on his face is interesting because there’s no way he could have possibly seen Crozier’s expression at that distance and I’m doubtful that he’d even have been able to make out the identity of anyone he might have been able to see on Terror’s deck. So really, it speaks mostly to Sir John’s mental state; his seeing their getting frozen in as a loss against Crozier and imagining that Crozier would see it as a victory for himself.

Ugh the final shot is making me think about @catilinas’s post comparing a shot of the two ships stuck in to the shot of the ink drops from ep 3 and I am LOSING IT but I was losing it anyway because it’s 2AM now and my entire body feels like gelatin. 

THANK YOU AND GOODNIGHT! 

SEE YOU NEXT TIME!

[iamnotawomanimagod]

Dare Me: Comparing the Book to the TV Show

Like many, I was super sad to hear that Dare Me, starring Herizen Guardiola and Willa Fitzgerald, was canceled before its’ second season. I loved it for its dark representation of female friendship and early sapphic attraction, so I was sad to lose that - but the show also ends on a cliffhanger!

I decided to read the book to find out what happens. Ultimately, I think the TV show is much better, and I don’t know if they would’ve chosen the same ending as the book.

The following breakdown contains spoilers Dare Me, both the book and the tv show. Proceed with caution!

Characters

In the show, Beth and Coach French look nothing alike. Beth has long, dark, curly hair, and Coach has short, blonde hair.

In the book, they share similar features. Both of them have the same hair - I think it’s long and dark, but I can’t remember off the top of my head. It might be long and blonde, instead. Point being, in a grainy camera phone picture (the book is set in like, 2009, when camera phones still sucked) they might be mistaken for one another.

In the show, one of the biggest sources of drama comes from the relationship between Beth and her estranged father. This is due in large part to the fact that her father had an affair and another child, Tacy, and chose the live across the street from his ex-wife and other daughter.

In the book, Tacy is just another girl on the squad. She is a flier, and does compete with Beth for the Top Girl spot, but she’s otherwise not really part of the story.

In the show, Coach’s daughter, Caitlin, is a baby, still. Probably no more than two years old.

In the book, Caitlin is four years old.

In the show, Addy’s mom is a police officer, and is greatly involved in both Addy’s life and in the eventual investigation of Will’s death.

In the book, Addy’s parents are barely mentioned.

In the show, Beth’s mom is an addict, who continues her affair with Beth’s dad. Beth’s dad makes a marked (albeit flawed) effort to be in her life.

In the book, Beth’s parents are basically non-existent. As a result, the necklace Beth’s dad gave her, which is a big part of her characterization in the show, is also non-existent.

In the book, Addy is the one who kicks the girl in the stomach, to help her throw up, not Beth.

In the show, the signs of eating disorders are there, but they’re less obvious. There is a scene where Beth and Addy are eating cookies, and it shows them spitting them out after they chew, but they don’t mention it or talk about it. Beth talks about being hungry in the books a lot, about living off lollipops and detox green tea, about how common it is for all of them to have eating disorders.

In the book, there are more characters. In the show, it appears that many of the characters were streamlined into one - RiRi. The girl who gets injured in the books never returns to the squad. She’s instead an example of the “in-group” of the squad and how easy it is for them to ostracize people.

The biggest change, however, is in the characterization of Beth.

In the show, Beth is much more sympathetic.

In the show, it’s made abundantly clear that Beth was raped by Kurtz. (I think he has a different name in the books.) We see her injuries, her trauma, and her own confrontation with Kurtz. She trades his freedom for information, citing the selfie she took of her torn tongue and the fact that she has other proof. She decides not to press charges if Kurtz will tell her what he heard on the night that Will dies. (This does not happen in the books. The random kid Addy makes out with in the first episode is the one who places Coach and Matt at the scene of the crime.)

In the book, it’s implied that Beth pushed Kurtz to be rougher with her, so that she could gain sympathy from Addy. She hides her underwear in her purse, never confronts Kurtz, and doesn’t have the same level of injury.

In the show, we spend time with Beth in her house, see her when she’s alone, and come to recognize that, whether intentionally or not, Addy is playing with Beth’s feelings for her. Addy comes across as the manipulative Mean Girl, shifting the audience’s perspective on them as the show goes on.

In the book, the reveal of Addy and Beth’s romantic attraction comes much later, towards the very end. It’s revealed that they did more than kiss, probably fooled around a bit. Beth’s jealousy of Addy’s growing attraction to Coach is what makes Beth...well, do what she does.

In the book, there is no storyline around Coach being the new hero of the town, the one who’s going to revive the economy with her excellent cheer squad. The book follows only Addy’s perspective, so a lot of the explanatory scenes we get in the show, that don’t have her in them, aren’t in the book. 

FINAL SPOILER WARNING. PROCEED WITH CAUTION.

Here’s how the story ends. I do not know if this is what they were planning for the show, since Beth was a much more sympathetic character.

Literally everything comes down to Beth. Everything is her fault.

Beth seduces Will. She takes a picture of their encounter on her grainy 2000s camera phone. She gets Tacy to send this picture to Matt. Because the picture is grainy, and because Coach and Beth look so much alike, Matt assume it’s a picture of Coach fucking Will. 

Matt then goes and confronts Will, while Coach is at Will’s apartment, and Matt shoots him with Will’s own gun.

Beth further fucks the situation up by lying to Addy about the hamsa bracelet. She convinces Addy (in the show and in the books) that the cops found the hamsa bracelet at the scene of the crime. 

The last we see in the show, Addy is outside of Coach’s house, angry and in tears, asking about the bracelet, and getting no response. We then see Coach confronting Matt about it, and “the night we were there.”

It turns out, however, that the bracelet wasn’t at the crime scene at all - it was in Beth’s locker. She finds the bracelet at Coach’s house, the night after the hotel party, and she steals it back. As in the show, the bracelet was something Beth gave to Addy.

When Addy finds the bracelet in Beth’s locker, she is understandably pissed. She confronts Beth in the locker room, and Beth is her usual sassy, obfuscating self. They go to do the competition. This is probably what the “she’s not you” scene was based on, although it happens much earlier in the show.

At this point, Beth is Top Girl again, through a series of accidents on the mat. There’s a very difficult flyer move that they’ve been working on, throughout the book. It involves the Top Girl being lifted 16 feet into the air by her squad, held up a bit like a Jesus figure.

During a huge competition, the one with the scout, in the book, they do this stunt. Addy is one of Beth’s spotters. Beth intentionally twists and falls, so that she lands on her head on the mat. She ends up in the hospital.

The book ends with August tryouts, for the next year. Coach is gone, having been accused of taking part in Will’s murder. Addy is more of a top dog than she’s ever been, because Beth does not return. The book ends with the concept that this toxic, manipulative, abusive cycle, which is all laid on Beth instead of Coach, will continue to spiral on, no matter who is on the squad.

My Take

Tbh, I enjoyed the show a lot more. While I appreciate being able to find out what happened next, I really don’t know if the show would’ve taken the same route. There were a lot of plotlines that were brought in specifically for the show - Tacy and Beth being half-sisters, Addy’s mom being a cop, Beth’s dad living across the street with Tacy, etc. And because of the way Beth was made more sympathetic in the show, I wonder if they would’ve chosen the same ending.

I think that, rather than putting it all on Beth, the show was angling to place the blame on Coach. She was much less sympathetic on the show. In the book, she doesn’t use Addy as a babysitter to see Will. Addy is much less involved in their affair in general, although she is aware of it - that day by the river in the woods does still happen. She’s depicted much more as a Cool Adult who is Far Above all the shit going on in the squad, and that her reliance on Addy only comes out when she’s her most scared, vulnerable, and manic. It makes the line where she tells Addy that Addy is her best friend much more jarring and strange. You realize how lonely Coach is.

Coach also most obviously stands as an example of where characters like Beth and Addy might end up, in ten or so years. Her “perfect life” is under a lot of scrutiny, in both the book and the show, to underline how these cheer girls have big dreams, but will probably end up married, with a kid, living in a house they hate with a partner they don’t care for. It’s to contrast the bombastic, glittery, haughty writing style of the book, of Addy’s narration of it, to show that these are mostly just teenage girls with a whole lot of issues. As beautiful and bright and bold and invincible as they feel, the only thing really waiting for them on the other side is an adulthood with a lot less glory.

I liked the show a lot more. I think it did a better job of showing all of the different characters as well-rounded people, not just stereotypes. Fleshing out Beth’s backstory makes her a lot more sympathetic, and I hate that the book uses a false rape allegation to make Beth a bad person. Coach is the adult in all of this, which I think the show recognized, and sought to correct.

TL;DR - Dare Me made a better show than a book, and it’s a damn shame it got cancelled so soon, because it was better wlw representation, more fleshed out as a story, and less problematic in its stances about the issues teenage girls face.

[atamascolily]

The cover of Junior Jedi Knights #5: Vader's Fortress by Rebecca Moesta features Anakin and Artoo dodging blaster fire while Tahiri does a bad-ass leap and Darth Vader looms in the background. So I guess this next field trip is to wherever the hell Vader's fortress is located... and given that this book was published in 1997, I'm pretty sure it isn't Mustafar.

Readers, I squealed with delight when I realized they were actually going to Bast Castle on Vjun.

[cut for length and discussion of Dark Empire]

Vjun's first appearance was in Dark Empire, but it's the main setting for Sean Stewart's Clone War-era novel Yoda: Dark Rendezvous (2004), which happens to be one of the best Legends books ever. Period. Drop everything and go read it now. Stewart's Vjun is a Dark side Gothic horror wonderland full of crumbling castles, crazed nobility, and flesh-eating moss. I love it, and you will, too.

Vjun also appears in various video games, with no less than Kyle Katarn describing it as "a big, dead, important rock". High praise, indeed.

Oh, and if you're curious, Wookiepeedia says Vjun is "pronounced as "VAH-JUHN" in Star Wars: Jedi Knight: Jedi Academy, but in Star Wars Battlefront: Elite Squadron, it is pronounced as "VUHN"".... so anything goes, really.

Anyway, so having dealt with his heritage by going to Dagobah in the last book, the logical next step is for Anakin to actually go and visit Vader's castle in person. You know, exposure therapy. Right?

Okay, let's see what the text says.

Anakin, Tahiri and Uldir are hanging out on the landing pad on Yavin IV waiting for Tionne to show up. Tahiri loves Tionne so much, she doesn't mind waiting around, and she wishes she could have gone with Tionne on this latest trip to Borgo Prime and I just... I love their relationship, okay?

Tionne has a new ship - the Lore Seeker! Anakin uses the Force to determine it's in great shape despite its odd appearance. (It has sails to harness solar wind, lol!)

“I’m glad to hear you say that,” the Jedi instructor said with a smile. “I thought so, too. But because the ship was so old, I was able to buy it from a Randoni trader for a song.”

“How much did you really pay?” Uldir asked.

Tionne shrugged.

“Just a song. Really. While I was looking for Jedi legends, I came across an ancient song that told about the very firstRan - doni merchants and the vaults where they hid their wealth. The trader was so interested that she offered me the Lore Seeker in exchange for the song. Now come help me unload my cargo, and I’ll show you some of my other treasures.”

DID I MENTION I LOVE HER???

Also, Tionne got some other stuff, too:

“You may carry this Twi’lek story-chain, Tahiri-each link tells a different part of a story. Please be very careful with it. Uldir, here is a holodisk. It holds a recording of some very old Jedi songs. Anakin, would you please carry this scroll? I’ll take the tapestry.”’

AHHHHHH, I LOVE THIS.

But Tionne found out something else important "in an old fortress on a planet called Vjun" and this is where I started SCREAMING because I know exactly where this is going and this is such a great set-up - especially since none of the kids have a clue.

Of course, they want to go, and Tionne's trying to be diplomatic about it.

“Does anyone live in the fortress?” Anakin asked.

Tionne shook her head.

“Not anymore.”

“Well, if it’s really that important, don’t you think you ought to go find it?” Tahiri said. “And don’t forget that you promised to take me with you this time.”

“I’d like to go along, too,” Anakin added.

“Yeah, it sounds like fun,” Uldir said.

Tionne frowned.

“I’m not sure Master Skywalker will approve. It could be a bit dangerous."

LOLOLOLOL, since when has that ever stopped anybody in this series?? But according to Tionne, the danger isn't Sith ghosts or anything like that - it's other people trying to snag a certain treasure first.

And what is this special object? the kids want to know.

Tionne’s face lit with a wondering smile, and she gave a happy sigh.

“It’s Obi-Wan Kenobi’s lightsaber!”

ITS A MACGUFFIN! Also, given all of Vader’s issues with Obi-wan, the fact that he kept his old master’s lightsaber in his hidden Gothic Drama Castle is... something. But I digress.

Cut to Luke, being Luke.

Luke Skywalker, dressed in a comfortable black flightsuit, sat on the stone floor in the room where he meditated and did his office work. At the moment, though, Luke was not meditating. Before him in the center of the room stood his barrel-shaped blue and white droid, ArtooDetoo. It was time for Artoo’s routine cleaning. Anakin’s older sister Jaina often helped Luke with this chore, but the Jedi Master didn’t mind doing it himself. He actually found it relaxing. With his tools neatly laid out on the floor and fresh packets of lubricant beside him, Master Skywalker opened ArtooDetoo’s front panels and got to work.

After checking the droid’s numerous electrical connections, Luke added a few gadgets and upgrades Jaina had scrounged up for Artoo: a retractable mirror attachment, a power booster for the comm unit, and a new focusing lens for the hologram projector.

I'm sure NONE of these upgrades will come in handy later on in the book. Nope. Nope. Nope. Move along, nothing to see here, just a boy and his bro-bot.

Ikrit is hanging out on top of Artoo's head during all of this, when there's a knock at the door. Luke asks him to open the door and Ikrit DOES and I don't know why I find this so adorable, but I totally do. More of this, please.

Luke looked up from the packet of slippery lubricant he held in his hand, then smiled when he saw who his visitors were.

“Come in,” he said, “all of you.”

His words seemed to open an invisible dam, because people and noises instantly flooded into his quiet room. Luke laughed as everyone tried to talk to him at once.

“Master Skywalker, I have wonderful news,” Tionne said. “You’ll never guess in a million years,” Tahiri added.

“Can I go with them?” Anakin asked.

“Yeah, me too!” Uldir said.

News of Obi-wan's lightsaber makes Luke have all kinds of Feels (and a handy flashback for those who have forgotten the movies). Luke's like, Oh, yeah, Bast Castle, I've been there before back in Dark Empire when things got weird, and Anakin FREAKS OUT. Tionne's like, huh, maybe that's why my contact said only family had a right to claim the lightsaber then.

Tionne wants Luke to come with her, but Luke is meeting with Leia for pressing NR business, so Anakin volunteers to go as the family rep. I love that Luke looks at Ikrit first, and only says okay when Ikrit nods. Of course Uldir wants to come too, and Luke is about to say no, but Tionne's like "he's just going to stow away, so you might as well and the cargo hold on my ship is too small for him plus our stuff" so Luke caves. DID I MENTION HE'S A SOFTIE?? And with Artoo and Ikrit to help, Luke feels good about it, but again, he insists on the parental permission first.

[Oh, no, I just realized that Luke might not want to go back to Vjun after all the traumatic shit that went down in Dark Empire, and that's ALSO horrifying to contemplate. Like, it's not dangerous anymore, so he's okay with sending Anakin there with supervision, but he might not be eager to re-visit it? MY HEART.]

We skip that scene, though, and jump immediately to everyone in the Lore Seeker, and Tionne teaches them about lightsabers. Nomi Sunrider is namedropped (queen!) but overall lightsabers are reified, and I don't know how I feel about that tbh, even though they are admittedly SUPER COOL LASER SWORDS BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ.

Fortunately, Ikrit's there to say "Not All Jedi," since I am not, which catches Tionne off guard, since she didn't know he was a Jedi master. Tionne is apologetic about treating Ikrit like a pet, but Uldir continues to be a jerk, especially when Ikrit starts sharing his own personal trauma. And then Ikrit declaims about Anakin and Tahiri's powers, but graciously includes Uldir once Uldir pokes him about it.

The skies of Vjun are stormy, so it's a bumpy ride down. They land outside the castle instead of on the landing pad at the top because the weather is so awful. Anakin did his homework, and explains the situation (Dark Empire recap!):

“Did Uncle Luke tell you anything about the fortress itself?” Anakin asked.

“I don’t know much about it.”

“Well, I found out as much as I could before we left. Apparently Vader built Bast Castle as one of his private strongholds; he was a powerful man. After both he and Emperor Palpatine died, some of the Emperor’s followers brought a copy of Palpatine’s body here-a clone. This second Emperor was defeated too. Since then, the fortress has been abandoned, as far as we know.”

“I still don’t get it,” Uldir said to Anakin. “Why would your grandfather choose to build in such a desolate place?”

Oh, you sweet summer child.

They spy another shuttle, and Tahiri is forced to wear shoes again so they can climb up in the rain. It's basically the Stairs of Minas Morgul from LOTR, only the rain is turning to sleet. Artoo hates stairs and Ikrit rescues him when he falls off - but he can hack the door open, so that's good. The hall has a giant, larger-than-life statue of Darth Vader toppled over on the floor, because... drama.

Then the laser fire starts, and everybody ducks for cover. Artoo uses his newly-installed reviewed mirror to deflect the laster bolts, so they can disarm the automatic security system. Tionne steps in with her lightsaber when Artoo gets shot, and she and Ikrit start tossing random objects to block them while the kids race for the control panels and it's epic. The statue explodes and Artoo manages to hack the system right before he powers down.

Uldir clapped one hand down on Anakin’s shoulder. “Not half bad for a kid,” he said.

Quiet, you condescending fuck. Yes, I know, he's like 14, but he's still obnoxious as hell here.

Anyway, they repair Artoo, except he can't climb any more stairs (I'm so confused how he did it earlier, but okay), and they debate whether to split the party. The smart answer is always "No," but they eventually do anyway, because plot. Tahiri's just happy not to wear shoes. You'll be happy to know that the bathrooms still work. This whole thing feels like an RPG dungeon crawl and I'm HERE FOR IT.

Tahiri notices the floor's texture shifts and that turns out to be a clue and I LOVE THIS. There's a secret pit trap full of spkes, and then suddenly they're attacked by monsters. But eventually, the others find them and deduce that they're holograms. Anakin IDs himself to a door and it opens into a secret chamber... and then this happens:

At the same moment, a puff of smoke erupted in the doorway, and a dark-haired man with a neat beard, tawny eyes, and a deep purple cloak stood before them. The man threw back his head and laughed, although Anakin couldn’t see what was so funny.

“The powerful Mage of Exis Station thanks you,” he said. “I would never have found the lightsaber without your help.” He snatched the weapon from Tionne’s hand. “But I’ll take it now.”

Tahiri starts pestering this guy with questions and he is startled enough to admit he's the Mighty Orloc. Tahiri realizes he's a stage magician, but even so, he manages to open a trapdoor, sending Tionne and Ikrit elsewhere. The kids rush him, but there's smoke and when it clears, Orloc has vanished.

Ikrit and Tionne are fine, and they start looking to rejoin the kids, who are searching for them and/or Orloc. Artoo and Uldir take a tunnel while Tahiri and Anakin go up stairs. Everyone keeps tossing the stale Imperial ration bars they picked up earlier to test for traps, and the RP gamer  in me approves.

“What’s this?” Tahiri asked, pointing to a raised platform that held a huge tube made of black plasteel. Wires and hoses snaked out from the cylinder in all directions. She ran a hand along its smooth side and found some sort of control panel.

“This looks like the tubes they use to bury dead people in space,” Anakin said.

It's actually Vader's bedroom! They find a little hidden hologram of a young Luke and I just... can't even...

Anakin opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out. The little hologram of a young Luke Skywalker turned in a slow circle, so that they could see it from every angle.

...Anakin felt a lump form in his throat. “My mom keeps holograms of me and Jacen and Jaina on her desk at work, and Dad has one of me and the twins in the Millennium Falcon. I think Darth Vader was just doing the same thing.”

“So maybe he wasn’t all bad,” Tahiri said in a soft voice.

Anakin starts to feel better about coming to Bast Castle, which is good, because he has Deep-Seated Issues that need to be resolved.

Meanwhile, Uldir sees the lightsaber as a magical talisman that will help him become a Jedi. He abandons Artoo and confronts Orloc, who draws the blade on him. Orloc offers to teach Uldir his powers if he'll come with him. Orloc's looking for the Holocron in Vader's private quarters, and Uldir is tempted, but ultimately turns him down because he realizes Orloc is a fraud.

Anakin and Tahiri find Orloc and Uldir and Tahiri slides down a pole to confront him. Orloc attacks her with the lightsaber. Tionne and Ikrit show up, and Artoo uses a high-frequency blast to distract Orloc long enough for Ikrit to yank the lightsaber with the Force. Orloc disappears, and Uldir mentions the Holocron in Vader's private quarters. So Anakin and Tahiri take them back there.

Tionne's like, let's GTFO, but Uldir suggests they test it, which is a mistake, but Tionne agrees. OF COURSE Orloc comes back and snags it. They chase Orloc through the castle, and there's a lot of trap door shenanigans, but ultimately Artoo helps save the day and they get the holocron back, even though Orloc conveniently escapes.

(Maybe I've been watching too much Scooby-Doo, but I honestly expected Orloc to say "And I would have gotten away with it, too, if it weren't for you meddling kids and your talking [lagomorph]!" ...maybe in the next book?)

Ikrit suggests they use the ships in the hangar to fly down to the Lore Seeker instead of walking. Anakin suggests Ikrit keeps the ship, since he seems to enjoy piloting, and I don't know how Ikrit is piloting this thing since he's a lagomorph, but it makes him happy, and they all make it back to Yavin in two ships without incident, which means it's time for the inspirational moral!

“It feels good to be back,” he said with a sigh. Tahiri giggled. “That was certainly more of an adventure than I had bargained for.”

Tionne looked at her two students.

“Are you sorry you came with me?”

Anakin shook his head.

“The trip was worth making. I learned some interesting things about Darth Vader.”

“I learned to trust the Force and not just my eyes and ears,” Tahiri said.

“And we did find a lightsaber and a Holocron,” Anakin said.

“And a new ship for Ikrit,” Tahiri added. “So I think we’re glad we came along, but it may be a while before we go looking for adventures again.”

HAHAHAHA, right, kids. You just keep thinking that.

Ikrit names his ship the Sunrider after Nomi Sunrider, because he, too, stans a legend. Anakin and Tahiri ask if they can take the turbolift up to the Great Temple when Luke starts walking up the outside stairs, and Luke has NO IDEA WHY THEY HATE STAIRS, and... on that note, the book ends, with Luke being VERY confused. [I like that Moesta remembers the Great Temple has outside stairs, but... THE LAYOUT STILL MAKES NO SENSE!!!]

So, I don't know how to feel about this book. PROS: I love the character details with Luke, Ikrit, Tionne and Tahiri, and I like how all of the adults continue to be responsible while still allowing opportunities for the children to be competent and show initiative. It's great to see Bast Castle, and the whole thing has the feel of a classic RPG dungeon crawl. Yay for Artoo saving the day ON MULTIPLE OCCASIONS, lol.

CONS: Uldir is annoying, and I wish he'd stop being such a jerk. None of the characters have ever played RPGs and it shows in their lack of genre-savvy. And I guess we'll see Orloc again in the next book, because... it feels like there wasn't much resolution of that particular plot in this book... no resolution to who Orloc actually is, or what or why. I feel like this book is part one of a two-episode plot, and I wasn't expecting that, but okay.

It's unclear if Obi-wan's lightsaber has any further plot significance or if it's just a macguffin. Ditto the holocron. But given the next book is Kenobi's Blade, I suspect Orloc's going to try and snag both, and Uldir is going to have a Not-So-Secret Test of Character about it. (To be fair, he passed the one in this book, so he's not all bad, but he's so obnoxious, it's challenging for me to give him credit where it's due.)

This book also kinda sorta falls into the "Jedi lightsaber fetish" trope, which I hate. Don't get me wrong, I love the laser swords and they are freaking awesome, but I hate how everybody latches onto "Jedi = laser sword" business as a symbol of identity. I know, I know, Star Wars is really ambivalent about whether the Jedi are Space!Samurai or Space!Monks, and I just... lean more towards the latter than the former, I guess?? But like I said, the lightsaber is more of a macguffin here, and Ikrit at least lampshades the issue a little bit, so I feel better about it.  

Also, it just occurred to me it's unclear whether Tahiri hates shoes, sand, or stairs more, lol.

[smallgayblanket]

New/revised/whatever- List of stuff

Egos (Marks/Jacks) that I have written for or at least actually have thought about HCS/other universes for:  (Just some brief rambles about them, please don't hesitate to ask about them :3)

  -Anti,   Two takes really, I like him soft, like him mean, hes just fun to write, plenty of different ways to spin why he acts out, what he is and all that. My current fav way to portray him is a missing piece of Seans soul, which means hes unstable as a ‘person’ (cough, not really a human but not, not human either.)  And how he has static filled blue eyes but usually hides them with the scary emerald green...

-Jameson,  I will always stand by this kinda universe i created with a friend aages ao that Shawn took away Jamesons voice when being puppeteered by an awful ink creature that shares his body.  Giving Jameson a lovely fear of knives, some scars, and some very damaged vocals..

-Crank, Oh my fucking boi, a near dead human spliced with a bunch of robot parts..human skin tangled with wires and a heart incased in metal..hes a right mess, a voice in his head that makes him feel all sorts of bad.. He tries his best..he cries oil,  I hardly get to write  him but I love him.

-Blank, another big fav oi, black hollow eyes..a tendency to faint... My Hc involves him having been in an accident that almost killed him, leaving him with a very rare heart condition. He also has an aura which..kinda ties into him having a few abilities and stuff. 

-Nes.. He started off as my own kinda Ethan ego, basically Ethan who was mistreated and really lost his marbles..hes great for the real twisted messed up kinda stuff, so dependant on others, a minor murderer, and has been eyed off by a certain ice cream driver for quite some time...

-Were eth,  Okay granted this was literally just kinda an idea that..Eth became a were wolf boi, fangs, tail, ears. Hes just a fun lil pupper

-Eden. Succubus Ethan basically, but well, he again kinda turned into his own thing separate from Ethan. He's got a tail and wings, and hes a lovely lithe thing. He doesnt dare do things without consent, just gets a bit touchy-feely when hes gone without any energy for too long. Very wide stunning saphire eyes. 

- Jackie  Oh my lad..Buff, trans, adorable, sweet. I always love tinkering around with how/what powers he has tbh..and like- I’ve always had the hc that his eyes are lilac?? or gold. Depending on things.. and he works either at a comic book store, a gym, or at the counter of a gas station. Gives the best hugs. Also I love AUS where hes a phoniex because of uhm?? Big fucking red wings??? YES.

-Hen, Getting his accent right is tough but other than that I love writing about the tired doctor living off coffee and ignoring himself in favor of others. 

-Chase The fucking best dad, sunshine lad. Running a vlogging channel and doing his best while combatting depression..I hc him to have chronic fatigue so he has to push himself extra hard. but He does well in trying to get better and look after himself and only slips up like any other helpless human. Very fun to write. 

- Robbie.   Sof.t zombie lad. Drown in a sweater. Stutters and is v quiet. Slow with speech. Struggles to see sometimes. Loves soft textures.Loves attention. Overall soft fucking lad.

-KOTS, To mean known as Simon. Actually v smart, big brain, very scattered n shy and nervous and squirrelish. Loves books n plants, loves nature. Red is his best colour. Warm sweaters and nuzzling and cuddling up. I always get torn between him being a hybrid of human/squirrel or just a lovely soft guy. 

-Yan ! My fem nb/trans gal! They’ll kick ass with their katana, have the hots for Bim, and looove Japanese culture and stuff. Very adorable. Loves pink. 10/10 love to write. 

-Technically I do have a muse for Mark, or..idea? I’m thinking about shoving it into my own oc/thing..but basically he got tortured n abused by Authy so hes not quite like the real life markimoo..just a nervous mess whose dealing with his traumas..

-Bing, Skater lad, yellow/orange eyes, sunflower vibes. Tries his best, clumsy as fuck, great for a laugh when hes not cowering under google. 

-Edward iplier,  Gah my doctor lad.. I have a hc that he Lost arm. In fire..or by dark n wilf.  He has heterochromia too!! One cho ceye one blue one. He is a fucking nerd (Minor adhd lets be honest) He fucking loves space and science and space/science related lights. He has a bat plus with spacey wings. He likes reading, likes being clean and is quite a quiet indulger in food which has left him with a big of a softer figure. Super gentle nature..nothing like the arrogant portrayal we got in some videos. 

-Angus   I love this man!!! Part Aussie, part irish, a whole lot of gruff old dad with a soft spot for nice people and animals, has his own big place, next to a large ass forest. Loads of scars. Loves boots and cameo coloured clothing. A lovely guy when you get past the rough edges. 

Aand onto all my ocs as of writing this (cause you name well know I be writing new ones like..all the time.) 

--------------------

OC’S (My original characters!)

-Jessy, Cowboy-   Choker with gold bell. Lil ears/horns. Spots. Shy but sweet. Hands and feet different colour to rest of skin. Kinda  fur ish feeling rather then just straight-up skin.  Pear shaped figure. Shy lad. Likes to take lots of naps, anxious easily but a big people pleaser too. 

-Ailan and Keros. Moth n butterfly boi.  (Literally just made up with a friend, just a random soft pair of lads tbh nothing too fleshed or spesh)

- Louie - Followed by a dark being/creature/spirit... Yet to determine what else about him, but hes got brown hair, pointed ears and looks lovely in green.

-Quinton  A Hybrid of Demon and Angel otherwise called a Guardian. Quirky, Pan as shit, great dress sense. Extremely calm. Can see auras. Lovely black feathered wings. Bright blue hair.  Kind smile. Works at a little coffee shop in his spare time.

-Ori  Very pure angel boy, previously owned and not very well treated by a god, came crashing down to earth with no memories but his wings intact. Some help him. 

-Lumi  Ghost boy! Died years ago under awful circumstances..now lingers around on earth, sometimes meeting humans who happen to be able to feel or see his presence, he has the ability to make himself solid for short periods of time. 

- Lucio Witchy..dragon soul something or other- Deaf.Paralyzed? In the arms??They might use alot of energy trying to hover around instead of having to use a chair..(I mean how many witches do you see with chairs??).. Although they could not have use of their arms instead, like..paralyzed from the shoulder down- they still have them but theyre effectively useless and easily sore.. (which might make magic really hard, cause theyd have to master it again without their hand gestures.)

- Eztli, Bit of a prick. Basically got cursed to have really weird blood that replished and rejuvinated too fast/too much by a witch he angered. So he turned the curse into a good thing and basically goes out offering himself as a human blood bag for vamps willing to pay in info, items, cash or uh..other services..  

- Gallio Photographer, has hypocalcemia. Haven't really done much else with him tbh.

-Aomi Warlock/witch in training. Downright awful at it. Young and lives in a nice lil cottage outside of the village he was abandoned in.

- Lucas A moonstone gem perma-fusion, he kinda has SPD/DID but he doesn't, cause..hes two gems that became one but not fully. Leaving him to be a bit of a mess and not as strong as other moonstones. 

- Kiyan. A little assistant android!! Created to assist, he can make portals!, He works at a post office. Hes under surveillance by the company that made him and isnt yet aware of many human customs/emotions.. 

- Alex  A very confused, overly optimist Alien who doesn’t know what they are. Come from the planet Eutychia, 4'3. They fucking glow. You know  Kilowatt from space chimps? think that. But hair n freckles and more human and just as  bubbly and energetic. 

-Locus  Mer/Fish boi!  Transparent fins, glowy patches, plays harp + loves music.

-Lir  A Tiny Octopus/Human hybrid lad. Makes little burble and trill noises. Quite harmless. Needs a home. 

Benji (Strawberry shortcake boi- Cursed tape /bandages. Demi half god.? One eye. Uses notes. To communicate but also sign. Really. Good sweets maker)

 Small bois (A collection of tinys because G/T is fucking great okay?)

- Tobias. Literally Made of hair gel. cleary, adorable, aaand Eats soap..amoung other non food items he probably should not ingest but does..

- Hinto  Guy made of foam slime. Very chill n laid back.

- Glowstick bubs. (Alo/aloke -  Green and blue  +  Siro - Yellow n pink.  + Mavi (Vi) Red and silver. + Roxy (Ro) - Orange and  purple )  They’re a cross between glowsticks and lava lamps and its epic- asides the fact they have like.half a brain cell each. Lots of sleeping n lazign around.

- Theo  A tiny ink creature.  A clever little lad, who likes to drawn and write n paint in ink and leave cheeky little black splotches everywhere. A very good writer companion tho. 

- JellyBubs! A collection of tiny sentient jelly babies, hungry lads will raid your cupboards. 

-Miel A tiny little bee boy! Loves flowers <3 

Apocolyse Squad:

The planet Keres,  Left uninhabitable after the invasion that ruined the air and killed almost the entire race.

Sameal o’Ceirin (Being of smoke- partly blind.)

Mallory Thomas (Part cat. Vet, partner to Sam who ends up dying in the canon of their story)

Hamrish Benat  (Hayden. 4 eyes, soft tongue. PTSD. extra tiny heart in wrist. Quite fem/soft. Likes soap cutting vids and stuffed toys/teddies.)

Joshua who cares (An asshole. Staight up. He dies. Fuck him. He sucks ass.)

Andy peters (Strong, kind. Kinda like Tyler shied. Big, tol, but actually pretty soft.)

Adrian  Géarán  (Tail, fire abilities, likes to make little robots. Very weak n has a couple of disabilities that leave him tired n such, which aint great for his esteem or his team when the apoc hits.)

--

Wyatt ???? ?????????????????

Pace- Nerdy. Finds a cat. Observer for the aliens. Is immune to black goop. 

Four - buff. Scary. Deadly. 

Apocolypse Squad Part 2  Small lads who dont derese to be in danger: 

  -Apep, Naga boi  Legs mutate into a cool tail. Hisses, fangs. Adorable loves the sun. bout 20 years old. 

Chris. Camp leader! Biig dad type, redhead, buff, likes gardening and camping, very outdoorsy. Little awkward but great.

Small child Talise- nickname tails? ..   Blind and slightly traumatized by the car crash that killed his mother and ended up with glass in his eyes, very sensitive to noise n textures.     Ends up mutating tails.  6 v young n smol  blocks n colourin

Shirin Parvis. Crystal boi .. trained solider/ royalty.  Tried to warn people before the apoc hit and failed. Now tries to protect the small group of surviors he stumpbles across. 

 Zephaniah, mutation turns him into a  Chameleon basically, just.. a human one. He  Prefers Zeph. Big gamey Nerd-  gets a pet gecko.  16. Quiet. Loves Lazar skirmish and lazers. 

Moyachi, Cactus boi!! Plant bab. Loves water and has clear/lime green tinted aloe/herbal helpful blood. Spikes up at defense from bad people 18/ 19   likes drawing. Pretty grumpy and needs a break.

Colin, nicknames: Coco,  Lady bug lad, who is baby trans  mutation resulted in a weird Red/Orange skin condition basically.  Can predict weather v accurately.       Ballet/dance, 14   Likes cooking. 

Hotaru , Firefly bby  - Glowy bub with antenna,  possibly mutates wings.. Sassy and tired. Turns nocturnal as the apoc progressed. Also becomes Colins first love <3

Zeno  A Siren of sorts.  DC/ hip hopper/   Lost his arm in apoc.  He loooves music alot. Very purple aesthetic and checkerboards.

Liren Pichi, deaf peaches n cream aesthetic boi- Nickname Pichi.  He is alone during the apoc, sneaks aboard and ship and goes missing..

Neighbours AU:

They all live on the homeworld, Ermioni.

Lesbabs:

Blake Aglaia  A human with a gift of being able to put emotions into glass balls.. Red head, quite fem, but gay, sweet, but not mousy. 

Lynx ?? An alien and human, the alien somewhat resides inside its host but they coexist. Sometimes goes feral.  Alien half likes to go by Perse  (Percy)  They have cool looking saliva- viens that run down their arms that are pretty cool- sharper nails/claws. Tendrils. Large ol mouth. Lots of pointy ass teef. Lynx likes to train,go to gym, and kick ass. Big ass butch energy.

Demon fam:

Hyacinth  A six-armed demon with serious parent energy. Big gardener, his body grows flowers depending on his moods/strength of emotions. Purple neck length hair. Great at comfort and cooking. 

Rhys  A Demon with a great curiosity about humans has a sibling, Feri.  Rhys is a big nerd, but very hard to get to know. Not great with emotions, comes across a tad distant and cold without always meaning too. Loves candles and lots of autumn aesthetic. 

Anthos, AKa Ant. Rhys and Hy’s accidentally created/summoned a toddler.. and hes fucking adorable. 

Vato - V   Hy has another bub later on who's more purpley blue with red curled horns and 4 arms.. No tail.. 4 eyes. V cute and inquisitive. Less noisy and wreckless than Ant. 

Roommates:

Douglas Connelly  A regular chubby human bean! Learning to become a chef. He loves food, loves cooking and also loves dancing. Hes a big guy, big cudddler, but a little shy and akward at times. 

Donovan Amores  Real fricking cool and smokin hot Bartender with a love for dogs. Dougs roommate. Has glowing fuckin orbs- donates his heart to a fucking god is smooth as fuck, background heavily Spanish, moved when young.

Haris Alaksim Real name (lost in translation, Huitzilopochtli God of sun and war) ) - A god whom Dono is very close with and donates his heart two one every 3 years during the day of the highest sun. He is a god / Mouros.    Donovan refers to him as “Dios gentil”  or “ Viejo colibrí sabio”   (“El viejo colibrí sabio es un dios gentil” (The old wise hummingbird is a gentle god.)

Donovans Family

Rem (Looks after magical creatures- Cane is from Haris)

Oscar  (Not sure what trinket or power but He’s just a casual store worker w/ good arms. Surprisingly good with knives- perhaps has one from Haris?)

Nicole  (His only sister Makes clothes..possibly got some ability to do with seasons..?  Perhaps earrings or a bracelet from Haris)

Javi  (Makes jam, cute boy, wears cloaks. Maybe has a cute little jar necklace or magic jar??)

Luca (Trans bookkeeper- Talks to Haris most often and likes to ask questions..Has precious books...Possibly a special pen..) 

Forest bois!!

Cypress The soul of the forest - Mentor of Rem. Very calm, very wise. Kinda like master oogway type. 

Unicorn boi, Hes rare, missing a chunk of his horn. Dont hurt him. He doesnt even have a name.

Fyn. Mushroom boy. Protects a gate. Lost his twin during a human-caused fire. Very mad about it. 

Fie. Bat boy. Loves fruit. 

Moh. Fairy/incubus hybrid.  

Tucker. Bunny boi, Best friends with Ainsley. Got some like, punk vibes about him, piercings n such. Not as soft as one would expect but still nice at heart.

Ainsley. Fawn boi, clums, shy, round glasses,  Looks smart but doesn't always know stuff. Very unsure of self. 

Experiment AU: 

Izekiel Iris A being of Paint. Hes made of paint. He has trauma from being experimented on. Slightly depressed. Loves art, loved creating. also regresses to try to deal with said PTSD.  Hard to get to know at first. 

Matty  (Matthew Libelle)   An experiment, part human, part lizard, part dragon. Much smol.  Hes fucking baby and i adore him alot please do ask anything and everything about him. 

Cult bois:

-Nero Aakil   (Means Genius/Orange blossom)   Orange bub  - Leader. Smart. Telepathic link with all cult members.  V corrupted…  (Parents were rich and ignorant)

-Mao Cerise   Pink - Ditzy, Looks after their ‘little bird’ (aka Jey) 

-Jey Michael Cherubim   Fallen angel -  Corrupted..desaturating and weak.. Was summoned by the cult and captured as a trophy. 

-Jaden Hirav  Looks after a garden of plants both harmless and some not for master. Previously Neros old pet..His  The family was alright but he was moreso raised by like his mum and bro. He was kidnapped from his garden and never seen again. The cult ritual to initiate him into the group failed and he was spliced with plants making him near useless to the cult.

-Rowan maverick - Now known as  Rogue- Red. Lost their tongue. Does Not follow orders to the T but gets their job done.   Has another voice/god/soul looking out for them… Very assassin ready, very perceptive. Wants to get out the cult but knows theyre too far in.. Cool glowy words in the air because they don't have their tongue. Possibly only lives of medication and vitamin pills..possible OD? Possible addiction. They struggle alot with it. 

P - Pax -  God who watches over Rowan. Was killed by the Master but their spirt lives on.

Cato.   Purple - Another smart one.. Possible Wiccan?  Sadist. Mean. Tall.  Scary. Abuse. Twisted. Loves being in the cult. Eventually wants to host Masters soul.. 

Gin Short for Ginger but the real name is Xanthe.  Blind. Also another assassin like Rogue but more obedient.  Doesn't talk often out of fear. 

Benjamin Brandy  (Benji. B) is Gins friend, Gin is trying not to get him involved in the cult but was too late as B had previously already been cursed and dealt with mythical beings..

 Silver bub. Demir. A demon summoned by the cult to complete the collection. Wants out, very stressed.  

Adopted AU: (This is like a mess of some of the boys but younger and in a different timeline to their universes smushed together intoa kinda cute school/adoption au idea.)

Matthew is smol autistic, malnourished and heavily abused both mentally and physically, leading to selective mutism and being a small fragile easily tired bab.  He loves hanging in the library once he gets used to going to some schooling. Gets tutored by Chris? Goes to camp and helps around n has fun..

Jaden, loves the school garden, and likes science class. His family is alright, However he ends up mostly raised by his sister? Or brother? 

Iz is the lil art bab, also in foster care of a big family, not so much abused but semi neglected. Quiet.

Nero is the gifted nerdy child..Parents ignorant. They love history and fictional books and reading and learning.

Benji is the slightly older kid whos possibly maybe a little behind or delayed or..something, they help out with other kids as a buddy? They like to do cooking classes.

DA AU

So this Au was like..the Septic tank births all the egos.

Angus first- He has..some kinda strength I imagine/..

Then Anti, Hen, Jackie. Marv. 

Chase -  He kills himself because of Glitch- also falls in the tank a second time and ends up with odd powers. 

Glitch Starts off as very bad and misunderstood. Turns out they were just highly unstable and required medical treatment.  Their real name is Arius and they cant stomach solid foods all the time. Mostly a liquid diet. They have glitchy fits/static seizures. Very unpleasant. Can enter tech, and its not so great, can get trapped. Can absorb certain amounts of electricity because of this they Got hit by  ightning once and has epic lighting scars!! Up arms..some on neck. All over his chest and back. 

Septic clone AU

Sean giving up bits of soul to make clones ends up in coma

Experiments and torture and odd shit with the egos ensues??

Minecraft AU??  

Yeah i had weird ideas for a cute minecraft gang of minecrafters who had accidents involving getting merged/recded with other creatures traits ect. 

Vail.  -Vex / Human

Snow golom hybrid? Or Blaze?

Slimey boi

Kitsune

Panda lad.

Pokebabs au

Mainly for Matty, Iz and Blank.. were they have pokemon forms and when bonded with a human long enough can evolved into human forms?? 

Horned AU  (With Troiseh/Glitch-in-the-static)

Shiro  -Prince lad  (This is their lad :3)

Junji - Battery..whump/slave/lost prince 

Isao Asuka -  Shiros Royal Guard 

Alien AU

Hami if he were..alien instead of being a human in an apoc basically. 

Angel AU stuff: 

Good omens inspired boi

Leo Halvar   Part..humany..demon..Cambion are according to google "In late European mythology and literature, a cambion is the offspring of an incubus, succubus, or another demon with a human, or of an incubus and succubus"

Ryan  Hot archangel guy: One wing, demon hunter thing.. Good kinda reforming from a less nice lifestyle previously. 

Mute angel possibly demon idk- -   Latif? Emmet? Evan? 

Long fringe shy boy-  Cael / Lox

[tanoraqui]

Eldritch Terrors of The Magnus Archive as rated by me, now finished with season two (sequel post to). Cut for length.

The Eye: 10/10. I still know where my bread is buttered. Incidentally, when they held that Intervention and Elias gave Jon the CCV tapes like “maybe these will finally reassure you”, it was the equivalent of it my dog half-destroyed my backpack while rooting around it it for food and I pulled her away and gave her a stern talking to and then a sandwich, like “maybe this will stop you from being hungry.” Jon is a knowledge beagle. Side note: kind of took my suggestion for a performer who finds themselves Watched with that newswoman, but not quite as I’d wanted.

The Stranger: 7/10. Notsha was pretty good. I quite liked the taxidermy (same flowery smell as Sarah the noise tech from Melanie’s hospital ep, so her origin is settled, ish! Look forward to seeing her again.) More importantly, I remembered that one of the scariest nightmares I’ve ever had involved me coming home to signs that there had been an intruder in the house and finding that they’d made nearly perfect copies of all my stuffed animals and left them on the bed with the real ones - like they’d meant to replace them but didn’t have the time, maybe. And I could tell which ones were real, were loved and mine, and which were soulless copies with colors just slightly off and eyes slightly duller, but I knew, looking at them all, that no one else would be able to tell. And that’s the Stranger all over, isn’t it? The NotThem specifically - except instead of replacing the semi-imaginary friends you have slept with every night of your life, whose presence is an eternal reliable soft warm hug and whom you named one by one and gave personalities like pieces of your very self, it goes for, like, your cousin. Good concept, amateur execution relative to the terror my young mind cooked up in the wake of a Winnie-the-Pooh episode with alternate, evil New Jerseyean versions of Tigger, Piglet, and Pooh.

The Distortion: 9/10. Points for being the first entity to utilize the internet, and just...consistently being peak Cheshire Cat. I fucking love Michael every time he appears, even when what he’s doing is fucking with people just to see what happens (and, please note the title “Liar”: definitely wanted Jon to meet Leitner and definitely has an angle other than For The Lulz here. But it might be, well, upside-down and inside-out and twisted like a broken elbow relative to anyone else’s angle, so possibly we don’t even need to worry about it! Possibly.

The Flesh: 6/10. Solid, reliable performance from the cannibalism crowd this season, and connection with boneturners confirmed. MEAT IS ME.

The Slaughter: 9/10 god i just love Melanie King so much, okay. “It was like once I’d seen that there was a path to stray from, I couldn’t unsee it, and I couldn’t ignore the call from the woods all around.” Actually that’s more Eye, probably - 7/10 to the Slaughter, I wish we had more but also there may be only so much you can do with mindless bloodthirst; 15/10 to Melanie King, embodiment of “’[X]’s haunted’ ‘What?’ *cocks pistol, walking out* ‘[X]’s haunted.’” Also, I spent most of “Grifter’s Bone” thinking it was probably the Stranger but when the woman turned out to have mauled a neighbor and then herself with a hammer, I gasped, “Slaughter!” delightedly. Music of war!

The Web: 7/10. Won this season’s award for creepiness, I think? Annabelle Cane is clutch, y’all. Also, the grudge match with Desolation over Hilltop House is fun. ALSO, who the HELL is Adulard Dekker; I met him in a fic or two also and I have questions?? Anyway, shoutout to the Web for frequently reining the others in, actually - spiders killing worms, binding the NotThem...agreeing by uneasy truce to help raise Desolation’s...whatever exactly Agnes Montague is...

The Desolation: 6/10. Most interesting by far is that the Desolation/Cult of the Lightless Flame is the only beings we’ve seen using I would call “sympathetic magic” - whatever they were doing with those pictures of Gertrude + her hairs in that Scottish grove, some ritual with Agnes and spiders once her tree fell. TMA doesn’t seem to have much of a “magic system”, but this indicates...something with rules.

The Lonely: 6/10. Points for most interesting and long-term - both in practice and effect - destruction of a single human’s psyche, in “Personal Space.” That’s craftmanship, that is. Pretty boring season otherwise, aside from Peter showing up to lose a bet on whether a man would survive a brush with the Buried.

The Buried: 5/10. I dunno, it’s still just not doin’ it too much for me. I do love how I can’t figure out if Katerina Gorka is lying about her experience on the train or if she just...hasn’t noticed that she’s definitely become some sort of dirt-shedding avatar of death underground.

The Darkness: 3/10. Weak! Showing! Who CAN’T make the tunnels underneath an ancient church crypt creepy? Oh, wow, you also killed a handful of police officers and a guy in jail who nearly....god, I so desperately want to know exactly what Robert Montauk was trying to do. Raynard implied that he’d tried to kill the Darkness? Ballsy.

The Vast: 9/10. So, when I wrote that obviously autobiographical bit in the s1 ratings, I was really just remembering “Freefall”, which didn’t describe the Vast much like that at all. I listened back at “Page Turner”, the first Leitner, which was Vast, and it had some similarities that might have been bouncing around my subconscious...but the reason I checked back was that “Literary Heights” had a lot of similarities to the autobiographical bit I wrote, which I wrote BEFORE listening to that episode at ALL...9/10 because that’s actually the most unnerved I’ve been all podcast.

The Corruption: 4/10. Weak too, tbh, particularly relative to the magnificent Jane Prentiss. Introduced, I think, though, the concept of objects that can be wards (John Snow’s syringe) instead of harbringers, which is very interesting. Concept: Corruption episode based on rotting food, please? At a fancy restaurant or at a dump or just in someone’s house, everything going bad...maybe a dig somewhere at how much supermarkets just throw away...

The Hunt: 5/10. Vampires still neat. More to the point: Me, standing outside Jonathan Sims (the reality one)’s house at 2am, blasting Schubert’s “Erlkonig” from a boombox while shouting: GIVE! ME! WILD! HUNT! GIVE!! ME!! WILD!! HUNT!!

The End: 5/10. Did, uh. Did Mary Keay kill and partially flay her own son, binding his uneasy ghost to a page made from his own skin, and then give that page to Gertrude as a weird passive-aggressive present. I guess that book might be Flesh instead, but it seems more End and I just have to ask. Nobody should answer, but between scattered spoilers and what episodes I’ve heard, this is...an impression I have formed... The End didn’t do much at all but it always has decent credit just for being The End.

[jangyeevns]

eight for the happy meme

modified rp meme — ( accepting )

eight characters i have played.

i’m just gonna put this under a read more because i wanna gush about my soon-to-be revived kids and the ones i miss sdfglkgf

also, don’t drag me for the gifs being different sizes and psds. some of these fcs get Fuck All in terms of resources compared to the others sO —

sage ( herrera - ) buckley

so sage WAS a nina dobrev fc, but with a little tweaking to her ethnicity i’ll use her with a kelsey merritt fc ! she’s a medical student with a desire to work in the lab, unlike her past version who already WAS a working lab tech of sorts, and is a very sweet, playful lady. back in her old rp, sage was super adventurous, loved to travel and try new things so these distractions from the ugliness of the world didn’t really affect her positive, live in the moment outlook ! honestly, she was one of my fave muses before i left the community for a minute to focus on post secondary, and i’m glad that i’m able to build upon her old characterization now that i’m older and more realistic. also shoutout to my old pals gorgeous and dakota bc i wouldn’t have refurbished my sad ass variation of sage if they hadn’t opened southportrpg :/ miss them and their messy muses

odessa fulton/lorelei dorsey

while she’s going by lorelei on my indie, she went by both at one point when i used her in two or three different rps. she’s my lax but passionate photojournalist baby who was a means to become a better researcher with muse backgrounds and helped me to better understand aspects of ptsd. she had been sent to different parts of the world for her job, but was caught up in the crisis in syria i believe — i’m 90% sure it was before the time when we began sounding off about plots and backgrounds based on Real, Scary Events that could be really problematic, otherwise younger!me would’ve changed that to be respectful — and had to deal with the traumas associated with the bombings and unrest once she returned to take on more National or Regional stories; i never went too deep into it as it was a triggering topic and i didn’t wanna use events as severe as that in a tone-deaf or heartless manner, but i did want to explore beyond the safety blanket i had in place for my muses and considering my interest in journalism abroad and a certain movie at the time, odessa/leia came to be

estelle claxton

i didn’t get to do much with her, but este was a part of a futuristic apocalyse rp centred around an artificial intelligence uprising, her being a tech whiz just like her dad; he died during the uprising and her and her family had to either seek refuge elsewhere or become part of a resistance group, and she wound up doing the latter with her older sister. rather than follow that plot, she’s just gonna be your usual grad student with her shit together — which is fucking rare SLDGFJDFKS so you’ll really get to see her fun, witty side without some sense of doom looming overhead !

laure zehner / brigitte sondag

js but i hate how sarah’s resources are primarily with this type of psd and are mostly from her period work. basically, give me her letterkenny and interview clips Thanks !! sgflfjsd

my sweet little french spy.. so born laure zehner, she was used in an rp that was essentially reviving people who died prior to said rp’s present day or decade in some magical, unexplained way. she was the daughter of a wwi veteran in the alsace region and would go on to wish to be onstage, doing so upon moving to paris to become a cabaret performer and adopting the stage name brigitte sondag. forget how i explained it in my mia intro for the muse, but she soon became a spy for the allies after the germans occupied france during wwii and, after years of killing and hiding the bodies of officers, she was arrested and killed by a firing squad in secret. came back to life a good seventy years later and had a Massive modernity shock.. idr what followed but she was truly a badass, i wish i did more with her :/

louisa kent

my little oddball artist :( she was a creative girl who had a bit of a wild child lifestyle, and in the rp that she was created for, she was something of a telepath ?? basically, she wished she could find an easier way to communicate with her best friend, who was serving abroad in the military or something, and suddenly ? she could talk to him in her head ?? it never got fleshed out and tbh i probably wouldn’t fuck with something like that again bc of my perpetual fear of being godmoddy, but she was fun to play — albeit cringey bc past!me was equally cringey with All of my muses — and the rp itself had some cool people :/ i just miss anyone i got along with in the Slightest in the past, okay ? LJGSDFKL

kang miran

the first form hyeran took.. but one i revamped a Good bit when she became the music producer ari and i know and love JFGSKLG miran was a little college dropout with a sugar daddy and a dream to run her own fashion label/boutique, a fucking sweetheart who was ever the hopeless romantic ! honestly, she was either the basis for kerry or vice versa, idr which rp i joined first. but unlike kerry, miran could hold her own a Little better, she had people around her who didn’t coddle her or weren’t always sweet in return after all — but i chalk that up to ker being part of a small mumu of college pals for the Great majority of her ( still ongoing ) run while miran was just used in that rp. anyways i miss many of gangnamhq’s lovely muns almost two years later and it’s where i first met a good few of my mutuals even if we didn’t get to interact ic, so i still think about it fondly fslkdgd

maxime seong

look, he’s up on my indie to be used, but bc he’s only had a proper run in One rp, he counts SLKGDS he’s one of the only males i’ve ever used in a group and for good reason. Bc I Fucking Suck At Characterizing My Own Male Muses. DSFLKSD i’m just insecure and uncertain as hell with them, that’s all. but max was just a scummy hetero fuckboy from france, the male version of the Iconic han yeseul but a little more headassed, and for the latter reason Alone is he Okay in my book. otherwise i’d fucking disown him sdjgfkdsfl he wasn’t used for very long, the rp lost heat and i kinda lost muse for him, but he’s certainly a memorable endeavour of mine

kang saerom

i Loved playing her. so much SGLJSGFD i never really played a Genuinely dark muse until her, as far as i remember anyways, and romy took Some inspo from yeseul as well ( plus they share an fc ) ! she was a girl who had almost done it all in seoul’s criminal underbelly, somehow being corrupted at a young age to Push Her Limits and going from a simple teenage pickpocket to a con artist, to a coke dealer or some shit for some quick cash, to an assassin. with some psychopathic tendencies, she had a substantial amount of self-control when it came to chasing her dangerous highs or when confronted, not prone to genuinely snapping for little or even good reason.... though it would go down the drain if you took the last boston cream doughnut. Watch Your Fucking Back SDFGJKSDF 

[nataliesewell]

sis tell us about all of your wayhaven ocs and who their romancing !!

i’ve talked about my detectives before but i’m always up to talk about them More! sorry about the incoming rambling, but i love figuring out my ocs and who they are. i have yet another detective, but i haven’t come up with a name for them atm, so i didn’t expand on them rip.

huge ass paragraphs under the cut, for whomstever is brave enough to attempt to get thru it all…

priyanka bakshi is a self-insert now for sure lmao. initially she’s super intimidated by unit bravo, ava and morgan especially, which is why she goes for the more passive, easygoing dialogue options. once she finds out they knew about murphy all along, tho, priya grows more of a backbone. she’s able to tell them what she thinks and contribute without holding back and second guessing herself. she’s in shock and disbelief when she learns about the supernatural, and while the murphy incident leaves her wary, priya is curious about the supernatural world nonetheless. in the future books, as she spends more time with unit bravo, she’ll be more open and herself. and herself just so happens to be a mess!

her love interest is nat: she gets along with her much better than the others, even tho her crush makes it hard for priya to even look her in the eye. priya is afraid of being vulnerable, and only had one relationship before (which is bobby, yikes!), so she’s somewhat hot and cold towards nat in the sense that she’s sometimes receptive to her flirting and other times can’t get away fast enough. it gets so confusing that nat has to practically sit her down and figure out what’s on her mind, something priya Does Not care for because talking about feelings is torture. also she’s 5′2″ to nat’s 6′4″… we love a ship with height difference babey!

michelle hart isn’t as fleshed out as priya yet, but she’s getting there! she is a science nerd through and through, but also very attuned to people and their emotions / feelings. while she is a workaholic, michelle does her best to make an effort to go out with friends as well—it’s just that she enjoys her job, even tho it can be quite dull at times. she earns her promotion to detective thru hard work and dedication, even tho she knows the decision was made hastily. she’s shocked when she learns about the supernatural, but that quickly gives way to awe and interest. being science-minded, michelle wants to learn all there is about this about the supernatural world!

her love interest is farah, and their dynamic is quickly becoming one of my favourites. michelle has been in relationships before, but she’s very unlucky in love—they’ve all been terrible or ended messily, more or less. not to mention that while michelle is smart, she’s dumb when it comes to romance. it takes Ages for her to realize that someone is interested in her; innuendos and subtle forms of flirting go right over her head. farah, who is prone to giving up, finds herself intrigued by the detective and just how far her obliviousness goes. she’s also the one who later has to field michelle’s countless questions and inquiries into the supernatural, and while it can be exhausting, farah is relieved by her enthusiasm and acceptance of, basically, her.

jude doyle is… a work in progress. i’m struggling with them a lil because they’re different from my usual mcs, tbh. essentially, they are somewhat of a pariah in wayhaven due to their delinquent past, which was due in part by rebecca’s sudden disappearances and reappearances. but perceptions about them slowly change around the end of book 1. jude didn’t want to be promoted, but it comes with more pay, so they accept. since they were young, they haven’t cared one iota about their small town or the residents, apart from those they’ve—somehow—managed to befriend. once a serial killer steps foot in wayhaven, tho, jude realizes that somewhere along the way, they’ve grown to care about the town after all. after finding out about the supernatural, they’re cautious about what it means, and is protective over wayhaven.

their love interest is ava. i’m still feeling out how they’d interact, but initially the two butt heads A Lot. while they see eye to eye on being emotionally detached, there isn’t much else they agree on. jude doesn’t like that ava is stepping into their office and telling them what to do, and ava is disgruntled by jude’s hostile attitude and attempts to shrug her off. however, there is an attraction between them that neither of them care to address. jude Does make a pass at ava at some point, as they’ve had one night stands with women they clashed with before, but ava brushed them off; they backed off quickly, a bit stung. after the events of book 1, jude and ava leave each other on strange terms. neither of them really know where they stand with the other.

[sage-nebula]

It's making me really happy to see you posting about Animorphs... I love that series.

Well, I’m happy that you’re happy, because Animorphs is incredible and I feel that it’s terribly underrated! So many people dismiss it as a joke because of the covers, but honestly, re-reading the series as an adult (or at least as an older teenager; I remember picking up one of my books when I was fifteen and being amazed at the amount of violence and gore that I just did not notice as a child) is such an experience, because there is so much depth to it that a child-aged reader just might not pick up on. I could get into an entire essay about how deep and wonderful Animorphs is in the way that it forces its protagonists to constantly examine the choices and decisions they have to make in this war in terms of moral justification, and in fact I originally did have a really long essay typed up about it in this response before deleting it, but I’ll spare you. All I’ll say is, despite being a children’s sci-fi series from the late ‘90s - early ‘00s, it actually addresses the heavier, more gruesome aspects of war better than many of its modern day contemporaries, and it makes its protagonists acknowledge and own up to the fact that they come against moral lines (and sometimes cross them) without letting them off the hook for it. The Animorphs reach many points, over and over again, where they’re forced into morally gray (or even dark) territory. And each and every time this is acknowledged. Each and every time they actually discuss it, argue about it, fight about it, both with themselves and with each other. There are times when they’re called out by the enemy and allies alike. There are times when they have to acknowledge that though the Yeerk Empire itself is evil, there are individuals within the Empire who aren’t—and that even though they were led to believe that the andalites were the Big Good, in all actuality, the andalites are not nearly as pure as they were led to believe, even if there are (again) individual andalites who are on their side. Animorphs exists in a perpetual shade of grey, has social commentary all over its pages, and while it’s not perfect (because nothing is), it’s damn well excellent and I really wish that it wasn’t as underrated as it is. It deserves so much more.

So, that said! I’m happy that you’re happy that I’m posting about it. I’ve actually just started a re-read myself, and even though I’m just in the first book, I’m already enjoying it. I really recommend a re-read (and a first read to anyone who hasn’t read them), because they’re certainly worth it.

But with that said, to actually answer your question … actually, I have in a couple different ways.

The first type of crossover I imagined was a more direct sort of crossover. Something-something happens that results in the Animorphs being transported to the Castle of Lions at some point during VLD’s canon. This isn’t out of the question, to be honest; maybe the Ellimist sent them there (as he does), or maybe there was a sario rip (as happens), or maybe it was something else. This wouldn’t be the first time the Animorphs have been transported across space-time, and I’m sure it wouldn’t be the last. The main thought behind a scenario like this would be seeing how these two teams react to one another. On the one hand, I don’t think the Animorphs woudl be fazed very much at all; they’re well-versed in aliens by this point (particularly Ax, who is, you know, an andalite), and their main concern would be how they’re going to get back to Earth in order to continue fighting the yeerks, considering the fact that … well … the yeerks are taking over Earth. Marco might acknowledge that Allura is gorgeous (and would probably acknowledge the same about Keith and/or Shiro, tbh), but that would be one acknowledgment before he started working with the others to focus on a way to get home. Cassie and Jake would probably be open to hearing what’s going on, and I think that if there was any attempt to recruit the Animorphs into the war against the Galra Empire, Rachel would be super interested, particularly if it meant that she got to pilot a Lion (although, she might think it would have been cooler if the Lions were bears instead, and not just because a lion was David’s battle morph). Tobias would be interested in seeing the Castle and this new alien culture, although I think the lack of forestation would bug him (particularly since the hologram forests in some of the Castle’s rooms would be easy for him, as a hawk, to see through). Ax, too, would be disturbed at the lack of grass, though I could also see him regarding alteans as being just as primative as he views humans, both because we know that (canonically) the technology in the Castle of Lions is 10,000 years out of date, and because alteans walk around on just two legs, which we all know that andalites view as being very clumsy and silly.

Ax would say, looking at their clothing.

“Yeah, but that also means that they have mouths like we humans do,” Marco would point out. “Meaning that they can also sample the pleasures of the Cinnabon like we can.”

Ax would admit, with a pang of regret in his voice.

“Actually,” Hunk would say, “all we currently have in the Castle is food goo.”

“Food … goo?” Jake would ask, wrinkling his nose. Whether he wrinkled it in disgust or confusion wouldn’t be clear.

Ax would say,

So overall, I think that the Animorphs would be mostly focused on how to get back to Earth to continue fighting the yeerks, though they’d probably recognize that they need to help out with whatever situation sent them here to begin with before the Ellimist will send them back. (Conversely, if it was a sario rip, they might be more focused on recreating that so that they can get back home.)

On the other hand, I think that Team Voltron’s reactions would be quite different. Remember that the Animorphs are only thirteen when the series starts. We don’t know exactly how old Ax is, given that he’s an andalite, but we do know that he is about the same age as them, in andalite years. He’s young. They’re all young. They’re kids and this is routinely acknowledged in the books. Despite this, they’re fighting guerilla warfare against an alien invasion. They can’t trust anyone, because the yeerks have infested everyone from their family members to high-ranking politicians and police officers. They can morph into any animal they touch, but this just means that when they fight, they’re literally ripping out throats with their own teeth, clawing through bodies with their own claws, and they have been disembowled and eviscerated more times than any of them cares to remember. They’re kids and they’re already deeply traumatized by fighting a war up close and personal. Now, Pidge was fifteen when she joined up with Voltron. Lance, Hunk, and Keith were 17-18. Allura is somewhere between 17-19, and Shiro is in his mid-twenties. They’re not old, but they’re also not as young (as tiny) as the Animorphs. And moreover, they don’t have to fight as up close and personal as the Animorphs do. Yes, sometimes they do get into hand-to-hand, but they’re always wearing armor and wielding their bayards. They’ve never had to literally bite down on another living being’s arm and taste blood and flesh in their mouths. They’ve never had to slice through a stomach and see everything pour out. They’ve never had that happen to them. And none of them have had to experience the horrors of being an ant in an ant colony. There’s a reason why the Animorphs have sworn off ever morphing ant again. It was horrifying.

And I think that, knowing this—well, first of all, the human members of Team Voltron would be beyond horrified to learn that Earth is currently under invasion, not by the galra, but by the yeerks, which is … kind of worse? At least the galra are waging open warfare. The yeerks will do that later, when Visser Three (after being promoted to Visser One) gets his way, but at the moment they’re not. At the moment it’s a silent invasion, which means that the Animorphs—these children—are the only ones fighting against it, and they have to do so secretly, while also juggling middle school and other responsibilities. That’s bad enough, especially when they recognize what it could mean for their loved ones back home:

“Wait. Do you mean to say that—that my mom could be one of these … controllers?” Hunk asks.

“Yeah,” Marco says flatly. “Probably.”

Hunk goes pale.

But it’s even worse when they look at how young the kids are. Yeah, again, Team Voltron is nowhere near old. But Lance would suddenly feel a whole lot older when he looks at Marco, who’s about four or five years younger than him, who is tiny (because remember, Marco is canonically short), and who should be worrying about things like which girl to ask to the school dance or what video game to play rather than whether he’s going to make it home to his dad in one piece. Of course, god forbid Lance actually express this Marco, because Marco hates being pitied and would counter with something sarcastic (“Gee, why didn’t I ever think that it might be easier and more pleasant to not fight against the Yeerk Empire? If only I’d had the foresight!”), but nonetheless, that’s how he’d feel. I think that Team Voltron would want to immediately put a stop to what they’re currently doing to go help against the yeerks, which might cause some strife with the rest of the coalition (they can’t just abandon the war against the Galra Empire, but at the same time, they’re currently losing their home planet of Earth), but it would also raise an entirely new set of issues, such as … how can Voltron help against the yeerks, when the yeerks are currently waging a silent invasion? Do they get the Galaxy Garrison involved? And what are the odds that the Galaxy Garrison has already been infested—that someone like Iverson might already be a controller?

So that’s one idea I had, particularly with a few different comparisons in mind. (e.g. Marco is what you could imagine ending up with if you combined Lance and Pidge, and Keith and Tobias have so much in common: They’re both orphans, they both have one alien parent, they both feel ostracized from their respective teams in different ways, they both tend to be isolated whether by choice or by force, they both discover their destiny later on, they both have abandonment issues, they’re both regarded as “emo” by their respective fandoms even though they really aren’t, they’re both quite clever, they’re both … well, Tobias is an unwilling dropout due to being trapped in morph, and Keith was booted from the Garrison, et cetera …)

But I also have considered role swap crossovers, to imagine what that would be like as well.

For instance, perhaps the Animorphs (sans Ax this time—sorry, Ax, but the kids just can’t get you from the bottom of the ocean if they don’t have morphing ability) were the ones who, despite being thirteen-year-olds, found the Blue Lion and had it take them to space, and to the Castle of Lions, instead. So they’re the ones who awaken Allura and Coran from cryostasis, and they’re the ones that Allura tries to recruit into the war against the Galra Empire.

I don’t think it would go very well.

To begin with, Marco would be a hard no right away, for the exact same reason that he tried to give a hard no to fighting the yeerks. To quote from the first book:

Marco shook his head. In a quiet voice he said, “Look, I think these controllers are jerks. But if something happened to me … my dad. He wouldn’t be able to handle it.”

Two years ago, Marco’s mom died. She drowned. They never even found her body. Marco’s dad lost it big time. He totally fell apart. He quit his job as an industrial engineer because he couldn’t handle being around other people. Now he was working as a night janitor, making barely enough to support Marco. He spent his days sleeping or watching TV with the sound off.

“You can all think I’m a weasel if you want,” Marco said. “I don’t care. But if I get killed or something, my dad will flat-out die. He’s only hanging in there because of me.”

Marco, aged thirteen, would not be cool with staying in space to fight some evil alien empire. He flat out wouldn’t be. He would want to go home, to go back to his dad, because in all honesty he’d probably already be panicking about being way out in space (how much time has passed on Earth?), would already be flipping out at the possibility of his dad thinking he was dead and committing suicide as a result.

And in all honesty, I’m not sure the rest would be on board, either. I mean, Tobias would be. Tobias was the one most eager to fight the yeerks, the one who felt that he found something worth fighting for, as he tells to Marco early on in the first book. Rachel would be at first, particularly since (again) I think the Lions would excite her, but even she realizes after the police officer controller visits them at the barn that they’re just kids, that this is beyond them, that they should tell someone (even though there’s no one they can trust). She does side with Tobias quickly after that, but she has a moment of hesitation. Cassie would similarly feel hesitant, although at the same time hearing that the galra are oppressing entire civilizations would move her to want to take action. And Jake would be torn, because his family is back on Earth, and he sees both sides. In the books, his motivation for fighting the yeerks was to save Tom. Here, he doesn’t have that, so I’m inclined to think that he, too, would want to go home.

Which would, of course, impossibly frustrate Allura and Coran, but …

In any case, if they did end up staying, then I think the Lion distribution would be:

Black Lion: “The Black Lion forms the decisive head of Voltron. It will take a pilot who is a born leader and in control at all times—someone whose men will follow without question.”

Paladin: Jake Berenson.

Reasoning: I mean, obviously. Jake is the leader of the Animorphs. He was elected as leader with no contest outside of his own. All of the Animorphs have looked to him for leadership and guidance since day one, and even when he calls for votes (which is often), the final decision is still usually his. Ax recognizes him as Prince Jake (even though he’s not a prince) for a reason. So yeah, Jake would be the Black Paladin, for sure.

–

Red Lion: “The Red Lion is temperamental, and the most difficult to master. It’s faster and more agile than the others, but also more unstable. Its pilot needs to be someone who relies more on instincts than skill alone.”

Paladin: Tobias.

Reasoning: This one is difficult, because certain aspects of the Red Lion (temperamental, relies on instincts, difficult to master, unstable) sound like Rachel. Rachel would also really appreciate the Red Lion’s arsenal. She would like the fire power, as well as the sword. However, I’m not sure that Rachel is best suited for the finesse that it takes to fly Red. Rachel tends to barrel through her enemies, not weave and dodge around them like the swift and agile Red Lion requires. Additionally, Rachel is not a natural flier … but Tobias is. Tobias relies on instincts rather than skill alone, given all the time he spends as a hawk in his own series, and he’s definitely used to being swift and agile. Plus, it’s not like he doesn’t have experience with ihs own issues of being unstable, and it’s not as if he doesn’t know how to handle those that are temperamental. So ultimately, I think that the Red Lion would have to go to Tobias.

–

Green Lion: “The Green Lion has an inquisitive personality and requires a pilot of intellect and daring.”

Paladin: Marco.

Reasoning: Marco doesn’t do the best in school, but he’s incredibly intelligent, cunning, and resourceful. He’s the best at strategy, and later in his own series he hacks a CIA database because he’s bored. Now who does that sound like, hm?

–

Blue Lion: “The Blue Lion is the friendliest of the Lions and the most accepting of new pilots. It requires a pilot who (appears to have) confidence to spare, who is willing to keep going no matter the obstacles they face.”

Paladin: Rachel Berenson.

Reasoning: Again, this one was hard, because we don’t actually have criteria for the Blue Lion (thanks, Lance), so I’ve had to piece this together based on the website and what we see in the show. The Blue Lion, according to the website, accepts new pilots the easiest, and has confidence like Lance. But we know that Lance’s (and Allura’s, for that matter) confidence is mostly for show. They hide their insecurities and fears in order to appear strong for others. Rachel does this as well, particularly early on, as she herself thinks in book seventeen when she volunteers for the mole mission first despite being afraid. But the Blue Lion also appreciates that its Paladins ask it for help sometimes, that they keep trying even after they’ve failed, and Rachel is characterized as one who can fall off the balance beam eight teams and get up on it a ninth. So yes, I think she could work as the Blue Paladin, though again, this one can kind of lean toward Tobias as well.

–

Yellow Lion: “The Yellow Lion is caring and kind. Its pilot is one who puts the needs of others above their own. Their heart must be mighty.”

Paladin: Cassie.

Reasoning: I mean, obviously. Cassie is the heart of the Animorphs, and often acts as emotional support (or a morality checkpoint, even if she herself isn’t perfect). She’s pretty clearly a fit for Yellow Paladin.

–

So I think that, if the kids agreed to stay in space and fight this war, that’s how the Lion distribution would be. But I think it’d be hardpressed to keep them there, particularly with regards to Marco, who would be incredibly worried about his dad and wouldn’t want any part of this war that, in his mind, would have nothing to do with him (as he would tell Allura in no uncertain terms—straight up, “And that’s my problem because? Sorry, lady, but you have to sort this mess out for yourself”).

On the other hand, there’s also the other role swap scenario. One where the Voltron cast never ends up getting in the Blue Lion to go to space, but instead encounters a dying andalite, receives morphing power from him, and then watches as he is eaten alive by a morphed Visser Three.

I’ve imagined a lot of different aspects to this particular role swap AU. The one I struggle with the most is wondering whether Shiro is involved or not, since I’ve kind of already decided that high-ranking officials within the Galaxy Garrison (e.g. Iverson, Sam Holt) are most definitely controllers. Is Shiro also a controller? Was he sent off-planet because he was one, such as Sam Holt, and the Yeerk Empire wanted his yeerk doing things in space? Or was he spared that fate, thankfully, and is instead an Animorph?

Well, we know what the more pleasant scenario is. We’ll imagine that for now.

Just as the Animorphs are all thirteen when they’re sent to the Castle of Lions, our former Paladins are all the same ages they are in canon when they encounter Elfangor. I’m imagining that this would still take place around the Garrison; Shiro, if he wasn’t infested and sent off to space, is an instructor. If he’s still around (Kerberos never having happened), then Keith would still be a student, as would Lance and Hunk. We’ll say Pidge is one, too, because that makes things more convenient (and maybe she’s not concealing her gender this time—maybe she’s open about who she is from the start). Since the Garrison is already infested, the yeerks having hit it up first thing, I imagine that there would definitely be a push around the Garrison to get others infested as well. The Sharing is perhaps an organization already in a nearby town that claims to specialize in reaching out to those “at risk,” whether they’re at risk because they’re orphans (Keith) or because of the stress of academia. Infested Garrison instructors and officials really push others to go. It’s a fun group, they say. Everyone belongs there, they say. It’s good to take the stress off studies, they say. Iverson continuously badgers Keith into going, and Shiro (who in this scenario is not infested, remember, though he could be) says that maybe it’d be fine to attend once just to get Iverson off his back. So Keith does, and he finds it pointless and a little degrading (he doesn’t need pity or to be babied), and so he stops. He’s not much of a follower, he says. Iverson’s yeerk is pissed off by this and says that he’d do well to get in line, honestly, or else maybe his future at the Garrison will be cut short.

So anyway, that’s the set-up. At some point they encounter Elfangor. Instead of an abandoned construction site, maybe it’s just somewhere out in the desert. Who knows why they’re out there. Or maybe it still is a construction site, who knows. But they meet Elfangor, and he’s dying, and he gives them morphing power, and tells them about the yeerks, and then they see him get eaten alive by Visser Three. They hear his dying scream in their heads.

(And really, just think about that … aside from Shiro, who spent a year as a prisoner of war, Team Voltron’s introduction to the war against the Galra Empire was to meet a pretty princess in a pretty castle and be told about it. The Animorphs’ introduction to the war against the Yeerk Empire was to meet a gentle alien who was eaten alive not fifteen minutes later right in front of them. And the Animorphs were thirteen. Jesus Christ.)

Of course, they’re now faced with a decision. Shiro, perhaps, will want to tell those at the Garrison about what’s going on, and Lance and Hunk would be on his side, but both Keith and Pidge would be wary, because … how do they know that people at the Garrison aren’t infested? That’s a good point, Shiro concedes, and so they decide to wait it out and see. And lo and behold, they realize that the suspicion was warranted, because people at the Garrison are infested. High-ranking people are infested. They can’t go to the Garrison for help. They’re on their own with this one.

They learn that The Sharing is a front for the yeerks. They learn that Pidge’s brother, Matt (who is still around in this AU), is a controller. Pidge, who previously didn’t really want to fight in this war, is now gung-ho about fighting it to save her brother (and her father, who is a controller off-planet). Lance suggests just knocking Matt out and holding him for three days so that his yeerk dies, but Keith points out that’s not feasible because the yeerks would link it back to Pidge, and then to the rest of them. They’d be captured and infested. Their families would be captured and infested. They can’t do it.

It all hits Pidge even harder when she learns that the reason why Matt is a controller is because … well, he was taken involuntarily, but since then he has made a deal with the yeerks that they can have him so long as they leave her alone.

They all acquire different flying / battle morphs. So far I’ve thought:

Keith: Red-tailed hawk / black panther.

Shiro: Golden eagle / wolf.

Lance: Osprey / male lion.

Hunk: Black kite / rhino

Pidge: Peregrine falcon / king cobra

I feel like Pidge would really want an owl morph, but the problem is that owls are nocturnal. For the day she would need a diurnal bird, and so the peregrine falcon fits that. Additionally, I recognize that there is a risk at giving her a king cobra for a battle morph due to the fact that snakes can be, well, stepped on, but she might have a grizzly bear as backup. If nothing else, king cobras are extremely venomous; their venom is a neurotoxin and can kill in ten minutes if left untreated. So I mean, it’s not as if Pidge having a king cobra morph is entirely a bad choice, especially if the enemies they’re fighting are focused on the other, much larger, opponents.

I’ve thought of a few other things with this, too, like maybe the reason why Keith’s dad disappeared is because he was taken by the yeerks. Maybe he’s an involuntary host to a Visser by this point? The yeerks wanted to hunt down Keith after capturing his dad, because thanks to his dad’s memories they know that Keith is part-galra, but Keith was already put into foster care and hidden away by the time they could get to him. His dad stalled for that long, at least. So Keith doesn’t know his heritage, and doesn’t know that the yeerks have special interest in him, even if they haven’t put the pieces together yet.

So yeah, I’ve definitely thought of a few different crossover scenarios, and I kind of want to write them, haha. We’ll see what (if anything) comes of it. 

Thanks for asking! :)

[surveysonfleek]

746.

5000 Question Survey Pt. 47

4501. Who do you feel on shaky grounds with? anyone who’s acting suspicious or uneasy. 4502. How would you rate Stephen King as a writer? i’ve never read any of his books tbh. 4503. What movie are you looking forward to? ocean’s eight! 4504. Hulk Hogan with or without the bandana? i can’t even imagine him without one. 4505. Do you more often tell people what you feel or what you think? both, i think they work hand in hand.

4506. Have you been to see an opera? no, i wouldn’t mind seeing it though. 4507. What do you wish that you knew with more certainty? what the future will bring. or at least what direction it’ll take. 4508. Does your heart break and break and live by breaking? no. 4509. Can you tell the difference between what you think and what you feel or do you often get them confused? nope. 4510. Do you feel like there are a lot of referances in this survey that you are not getting? yeah, it’s lame. a lot of grammatical errors too. 4511. You are shopping in the Mad Mall for things to add to your room. Of the following list, what 5 things will you buy? lollipops, lace up boots, bondage gear, bubblegum machine, a miniature orange grove, house plants, Bob Geldof, duct tape, Buzzcocks, poet shirts, Marc Almond, Al Gore, acrylic paints, Snoopy's dog house, an original andy warhol painting, zippers, orange and pink matching curtains and bed spread, flash, oj simpson, a slurpee maker, some flutes, electric chairs, feather pillows, post it notes, the terminator wax statue, fight club the movie, fight club the book an original andy warhol painting, snoopy’s dog house, feather pillows, slurpee machine and house plants. 4512. Of the following things, which would you most like to have more of? drink, dreams, bed, drugs, lust, lies, hate, love, fear, fun, pain, flesh, stars, smiles, fame, sex bed, love, love, smiles, sex. 4513. Your preference. David Bowie or Marc Bolan? bowie. 4514. Who'd win in a fight, Morrissey or Robert Smith? idk either of them enough to choose. 4515. Earth girls are: what are earth girls? 4516. One of your friends tells you they are going to train to become a cop. your reaction? i’d be supportive and congratulate them. 4517. Would you ever consider working for the government? i would, they get really good benefits here. 4518. What are the best and wort television channels? i hardly watch tv. 4519. If you had a magicle pencil and everything you drew became real what would you draw? money!! 4520. Your boots were made for: walking. 4521. What movie would you like to see a mystery science theater episode about (even if it isn't a sci fi movie, just one that needs making fun of)? idk... 4522. What's the buzz? nothing. 4523. The last person you would want to be stranded on a desert island with is: someone i hate. 4524. Your partner takes an aeroplane trip. the plane disappears and is never found. How long do you wait for them to return before you begin looking for a new partner? i couldn’t put a time limit on it. i might not even move on, who knows. 4525. Soma animals that mate for life can literally die of grief if their mate is captured or dies. How many humans would do that do you think? it’s definitely possible for other humans to do this. 4526. What would you like to touch? the biggest diamond in the world. 4527. Does anything you own glow in the dark? nail polish. 4528. Would you rather ride a dragon or a unicorn? dragon. 4529. Do things just always go right for you? hell no. 4530. What's the best nick toon? hey arnold. 4531. Can you make a balloon animal? nope :( 4532. Would you undress at a nude beach? no. 4533. Wherever there's a secret recipe, there is someone who wants to steal it. True or false? i guess that’s the allure of calling it a secret recipe. 4534. What is today but yesterday's tommorrow? the present. 4535. Are you more like spongebob who does nothing right but still everything good happens to or like squidworth who tries to do things right and ends up having nothing good happen to him? squidworth. 4536. How many glasses of water do you drink each day? aiming for the usual 8. 4537. What is the difference between intelectualism and pretentiosness? being pretentious obviously just means you think you’re better/smarter than the people you’re with. 4538. What do you like in a poem, accessability, crypticness or somethin in between? i hate poems. 4539. What do you think of William Blake? Is his writing difficult to understand? never read his stuff. 4540. Has learning to spell become obsolete? not at all. but in this survey, yes omg... 4541. Who do you find yourself in constant conflict with? Why the conflict? me. 4542. What is the difference between literature and hallmark cards? everything lol. 4543. How many contemporary poets can you name? none. 4544. What subjects do you refuse to talk about? Why are you hiding from them? i’m open to talking about anything as long as it’s with the right people. 4545. Are you every parent's wet dream? ew, no. 4546. Everyone starts in the garden of Eden but no one can stay there. Why not? idk. 4547. Would you want to join a club that would have you as a member? sure. 4548. Greatest black and white film: i haven’t watched many in my time tbh. 4549: Greatest film three hours or longer: titanic, duhhhh. 4550. No means.. no. 4551. When you are exposed to the artwork (poetry, painting etc) of a friend, family member or aquantance how likly are you to criticize it? if i know them well i’d give them constructive criticism. i don’t think i’d bash the work of someone i didn’t know. 4552. Do you mentally reject people? Before speaking to them? some days i just check out i guess. 4553. Are we already living out 1984? no. 4554. Sing, now!  What did you sing? Can you sing? Are you the next american idol? no, no, i’m not american. 4555. Do you like the feeling of a ball point pen being used to draw pictures on your palm? no lol. 4556. Have you ever been airbrushed? no. 4557. Are you an alitist? What are you elitist about? lol let’s not go there. 4558. Are you arrogant? About what? i’m arrogant towards arrogant people, does that count?  4558. Use the two following words in a sentance: ghandi, ford no. 4559. Are you trecherous? no. 4560. Nam the ten bands you are the biggest fan of: Name the ten bands who are your biggest fans: no. 4561. Are you jolly? not really. 4562. What does the world stop for? nothing. anything could happen and in some places it’ll just be business as usual. 4563. Would you like to reapolster your furniture in camoflauge? no thanks. 4564. Would you rather have your own personal live in massuse or a new car? personal live in masseuse that also cooks haha. 4565. What were you born holding? nothing. 4566. Big nose, is it ugly or does it give the face character? depends if it works with the other features of the face. 4567. Name three things you would NOT do, even for one million dollars (tax free): 1 kill a human, 2 eat a human. 3 kill someone’s pet 4568. Who has rejected you? Who have you rejected? certain jobs. 4569. Natural body odor or perfumes and colognes? perfumes and colognes! 4570. Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? ss. 4571. Who frolics in the autumn mist in a land called honalee? lol. 4572. Is anything nastier as a snack than fruit roll ups? shit i guess. 4573. When you hear someone make a joke about something will you later make the same joke to someone else as if you had just thought it up? my boyfriend always does this lol. i hardly ever do it, i’m pretty forgetful. What if someone just says something intelligent, would you use what they said later as if you had made it up? no, if i repeat this i’ll always the credit the person that told me. 4574. What's on your pajamas? plain colours. 4575. Are people nicer in new york or california? i’m guessing california. 4576. Ever think about moving to Alaska to live as a hermit? i’d love to do it temporarily. 4577. You are interested in a potential mate who is already attatched. Do you encourage him or her to leave their current catch or try to find someone all alone? no way. i’d never try and break up a couple. 4578. Do you play in the snow? haven’t done so in about ten years. 4579. Do you save a snowball in your freezer to hit someone with in the summer time? no lol. ouch. 4580. What bible storiy would you like to see acted out by animated veggetables? What vegetable would play jesus? idk. 4581. Will you be ready for the next alien attack? the next? has there already been one? 4582. You can't make this easy can you? nope. 4583. What is a small thing that people let slide but that actually has dire consequenses? cheating. 4584. Are you the open window maniac? no? 4585. Have you ever been a hall monitor?  What exactly do hall monitors do anyway? nope, never had one in my school either. 4586. Would you rather wear an army uniform or a cow costume for halloween? cow lol. 4587. When was the last timeyou played tag, musical chairs, hide and seek etc? as a kid. 4588. Can you leap frog? i haven’t tried in years. maybe! 4589. What was the lost strong and clear emotion yo felt? idk... 4590. Are you more of a disco ball, a candle or a robot? candle. 4591. Could any good come out of a nuclear holocaust? i’m not the right person to ask. 4592. Are you an angel in disguise? no, i wish. 4593. Could you have fun with ajelly fish? for 12 hours? no thanks. 4594. Who throws the wildest parties? it used to be this one guy i know. and then we all grew up. 4595. Do you own an I <3 NY shirt? yes. 4596. If you could make a channel that played only one show all day what show would it be? the office. or the simpsons. anything with a ton of episodes and is funny. 4597. Are you a rockstar only no one knows it yet? no. 4598. have you ever been stung by anything? What? nope. 4599. Who's autograph have you gotten in the last year? no one. i feel like selfies with celebrities are more popular now than autographs. 4600. Are you enjoying this? no.

[scarletjedi]

My wife, gentlepersons

Brig was already aboard the boat when Gimli and Legolas arrived, attending the rigging for the simple sail and making ready to depart.@brydylcai​: All of the writing asks because I worry you don't have enough to do

so. 

all the ones I haven’t answered yet. Behind the cut because long

1. Tell us about your WIP!

Heh, which one? I’ve started writing chapter three of We Are Made Wise because I’m finally getting over my block (I think there was a little burnout). I’ve just updated Old Man Luke, and Pineapple 2 is next. I’m almost finished with my next original short, I’ve figured out where to go next in my novel, and...yeah. :)

2. Where is your favorite place to write?

Where it’s quiet and I can focus. Sometimes that’s the living room. Sometimes it’s my office. Sometimes it’s the Starbucks on the corner. 

4. Do you have any writing habits/rituals?

Depends on where I am. I have to have some sort of ritual to get focused. In my office, I light candles. In the living room, I put on music. At the coffee shop, I have a snack. 

6. Favorite character you’ve written?

My original character, Jamie, from my book is a HOOT. He’s a gay Jewish teen whose convinced that *he* will be the one to capture definitive proof of the Jersey Devil. He’s the non-magical pov in the fic, and his voice is fun. 

7. Favorite/most inspirational book?

Well, on the one hand, I re-wrote the Hobbit, so that’ book is clearly an inspiration. 

8. Do you have any writing buddies or critique partners?

@brydylcai is my in-house sounding board, the same way I am for her. I don’t have a regular beta, but I’ve worked with several depending on the project/story, and they’re all lovely people. 

9. Favorite/least favorite tropes?

I love revelations/coming out stories. I hate deliberate misunderstandings. 

10. Pick an author (or writing friend) to co-write a book with

@brydylcai and I have discussed writing a book together already, so Imma go with her :)

11. What are you planning to work on next?

I have the doc with We Are Made Wise open, so either that or my next short, depending on if I write more tonight or wait until tomorrow. 

12. Which story of yours do you like best? why?

Comes Around Again is the one that earned me what little notoriety I have, and Old Man Luke is doing the same in Star Wars, but I’m most proud of Drowned in Moonlight. That fic was written to excise some grief over Carrie Fisher, and I think I did her proud. 

13. Describe your writing process

I’m tempted to say “Incoherent screaming into the void” but that’s a joke that’s been made before. My process. Hmm. 

I tend to write by the seat of my pants. I like to see what develops and grows naturally. Once I get to a certain point, I’ll stop and make a plot sheet/note page, but I usually have the rough shape figured out before I start to write. 

Once I have a draft, I’ll edit. Sometimes I’ll print and edit on paper. Sometimes I edit online. My original works tend to get more editing than my fanworks. 

14. What does it take for you to be ready to write a book? (i.e. do you research? outline? make a playlist or pinterest board? wing it?)

ha ha ha ha - My original novel has been 15 years in the works, and has gone through many drafts. It’s working now, but I need familiarity. So, I think what I need is research for context and an outline for plot, and a good enough knowledge to feel like I’m winging it. 

15. How do you deal with self-doubt when writing?

I put it down. If I’m not confident on one project, I’ll put it down and turn to another. (This usually means putting down my original work in favor of fanfic, because I’m more confident with that overall, but...). I know what sounds right to my ear, and if I’m not hearing it, there’s usually a reason. Distance/time often lets me see it. 

17. What things (scenes/topics/character types) are you most comfortable writing?

I’m a Jersey Girl, so I tend to set things in Jersey. I love dramatic conversations, so I’m comfortable there. Queer characters. 

18. Tell us about that one book you’ll never let anyone read

That I wrote? Or that I read? Twilight/50 Shades. 

19. How do you cope with writer’s block?

I beat it with a hammer unitl it’s writer’s pebbles. 

20. Any advice for young writers/advice you wish someone would have given you early on?

Write what you love. Write the truths that you know, and research to write the things you don’t know. Don’t be afraid to break your characters; you can put them back together in new and interesting ways. You’ll be given a lot of advice over the years--read enough to recognize what you like. Develop your taste. Take the advice that helps taylor your work to your taste. Reject the advice that changes it away. 

21. What aspect of your writing are you most proud of?

Subtle meanings and implications. 

22. Tell us about the books on your “to write” list

Here are 3:

a) The Lesbian Werewolf Romance Novel. 

b) The Teenage Zombie Novel. 

c) The American-Teenager-Falls-Into-Fantasy-Realm-and-there-are-also-dragons novel

23. Most anticipated upcoming books?

Jer Keene’s next book. I read the first as fic, and then read the novelization, and now I REALLY want to know what comes next. 

The Kingkiller Chronicles book 3

25. What’s your worldbuilding process like?

Seat. Of. My. Pants and flailing. Seriously, I write something because it sounds right, and then figure out how it works after. 

26. What’s the most research you’ve ever put into a book?

I wrote parts of CAA with the hobbit, the lotr, the unfinished tales, and the moves on and open in front of me. 

I became a pagan, and my research for that has influenced my writing of my book. 

27. Every writer's least favorite question - where does your inspiration come from? Do you do certain things to make yourself more inspired? Is it easy for you to come up with story ideas?

I mentioned I was pagan? My patron, Brigid, is among other things, a muse. She pokes, and I start thinking (or I think, and she eggs me on. I’m not sure of the order. could be either or both). But, most of my ideas come from things I read. When I want inspiration, I read. 

Ideas don’t come as easily as I would like, but the fact that I have several projects at once means that it comes easily enough. 

28. How do you stay focused on your own work and how do you deal with comparison?

I have a hard time focusing period, so that’s a challenge. I have put effort into being less jealous because it’s ultimately a useless exercise. 

29. Is writing more of a hobby or do you write with the intention of getting published?

I want to be published like JK Rowling or Stephen King - one thing that gives my financial security, or with enough frequency to do the same. 

30. Do you like to read books similar to your project while you’re drafting or do you stick to non-fiction/un-similar works?

tbh, i read mostly fanfic these days. Most Genre fic makes me angry because there’s something missing from the text. it’s usually women/gay people. 

31. Top five favorite books in your genre?

scifi/fantasy

a) American Gods - Gaiman

b) Foundation/Elijah Bailey mysteries - Assimov

c) The Hobbit

d) Guards!Guards!

e) Years of Rice and Salt

32. On average how much do you write in a day? do you have trouble staying focused/getting the word count in?

Depends. There are days i can’t get a word out. There are days I’ve written about 10k. It depends on if I’m having a good focus day. 

33. What’s your revision/rewriting process like?

long. 

34. Unpopular writing thoughts/opinions?

....like what?

35. Post the last sentence you wrote

““The things I do for the greater good,” Gimli grumbled, his frown softening as Legolas’s laugh rang out to echo through the cavern. “

36. Post a snippet

from Old Man Luke, chapter 11 (probably):

Obi-Wan stood just to the left of the closed door, hand stroking his beard ad the sight of those assembled. It took all of his focus to keep his eyes from growing wide, or let his hands tremble the way they wished to.

Before him, sitting at a conference table, was Asajj Ventress (scowling at the table like a chastised Padawan, though she had submitted to the indignity of the locking cuffs easily enough), and the adult twinned children of Anakin Skywalker.

Luke sat much as he had before, calmly and with no outward signs of concern, reminding Obi-Wan uncomfortably of his own master. Leia sat back from the table, her arms crossed and her expression sardonic. She, too, was apparently unconcerned, if outwardly exasperated, and Obi-Wan knew that if hadn’t already been told, he would be able to see the resemblance between father and daughter in a heartbeat.

Still, Obi-Wan had the distinct and uncomfortable sensation of not quite living up to her expectations.

The bulk of her resentment, however, was aimed directly at the only other occupant of the room—Anakin.

Their father.

Obi-Wan needed a drink.

37. Do you ever write long handed or do you prefer to type everything?

I write long-handed when I’m having focus issues. It’s slow enough to make me focus. 

38. How do you nail voice in your books?

I talk to myself. Out loud. Constantly. 

39. Do you spend a lot of time analyzing and studying the work of authors you admire?

When I read, I’m known to stop and think “that was a perfectly crafted sentence!” or “How did they do that?” 

40. Do you look up to any of your writer buddies?

all of them. They’re all awesome, though in different ways. 

41. Are there any books you feel have shaped you as a writer?

Harry Potter. I’m not sure how, but I’m sure it has. 

42. How many drafts do you usually write before you feel satisfied?

Depends on how fully formed the story was in my head before I started. Fanfic gets 2 - rough and beta. Original fic gets rough, first, second, etc

43. How do you deal with rejection?

Badly at first. Then it evolved into a desire to prove them wrong. 

45. First or third person?

Third. 

46. Past or present tense?

Past. 

47. Single or dual/multi POV?

Depends on the needs of the plot. 

48. Do you prefer to write skimpy drafts and flesh them out later, or write too much and cut it back?

the first is what I do. The second is what I’d like to do. 

49. Favorite fictional world?

A Galaxy Far, Far away. (Then Middle Earth). 

50. Do you share your rough drafts or do you wait until everything is all polished?

depends on the fic. I like to show things to @brydylcai, but only in the fandom’s she’s in. I have been known to invite friends into docs as I’m writing, so...

51. Are you a secretive writer or do you talk with your friends about your books?

I’m more open than I used to be about fanfic. I’m less talkative about my original works. 

52. Who do you write for?

She knows who. 

53. What is the first line of your WIP?

Of this chapter: “Brig was already aboard the boat when Gimli and Legolas arrived, attending the rigging for the simple sail and making ready to depart.”

54. Favorite first line/opening you’ve written?

my book begins with a ghost hunt. that’s fun?

55. How do you manage your time/make time for writing? (do you set aside time to write every day or do you only write when you have a lot of free time?)

I try to set aside time while not working, but i also tend to write in whatever little moments I have. Between classes, standing in line, etc. 

[pinksweatergettingbetter]

“at least the jury is still out on that one, so to speak”

so to speak is right, phoenix :T

-

“I WANTED TO KILL YOU. WAAHHHH”

ok rayfa. easy there.

-

aw. the dad is so strong that he cant even bear to see the murder brat sad. 

hdgdhfgh im gonna die he’s trying to cheer her up by acting like the bad guy

at the risk of sounding tumblry, phoenix wright is a cinnamon roll, to pure or whatever 

-

...is this kooraheen’s ‘happy people’?

.....i don't like it

-

ahlbi doesn’t get to be an assistant but he does get to carry all my unwanted crap!

-

“first the high priest, and then his disciple! maya fey will pay for this!”

ah yes, she’ll pay for killing off people we recently proved to be dangerous insurgents. 

-

WHOA OK GRAPHIC 

-

well ok there’s no possible way Maya could have killed him that night.

“they think she came down the stairs and stabbed him” yes in front of 200 praying people. no, they weren't looking up but probably the sound of a knife being driven into flesh and also footsteps may have alerted them???

-

rayfa wants to know how a time of death is determined, not for real... but because she wants to know what the idiot groundlings believe ?

either she’s an idiot and she doesn’t realize its completely legitimate, or the writers are still trying to make fun of religion via the “science and religion don't mix” joke which quite frankly is getting REALLY TIRESOME

-

ok... well I'm not scientific expert but doesn’t the body eventually reach a steady temperature? how could you determine how long the body took to cool down if it was cooled down for a long enough period of time? also, it was really cold on that mountain. 

something tells me this will be useful later.

-

again capcom, pointing out how unlikely your plot is doesnt make it better. it makes it worse.

-

“I will curse you and your disciples for eight generations!”

I'm pretty sure apollo and the series has already been cursed, mrs. inmee.

-

every time she kisses his picture i cry 

-

Zehlot arrived at the same time as Maya, but Mrs. Inmee is more inclined to believe that Maya is a murderer? I mean yes she supposedly killed off the other two, but jeez. Talk about favouritism. 

-

they let us check out the trash again... simply for a joke about phoenix digging through trash. I'm not sure how to feel about this.

-

katchu-dehmal, eh? Pokémon gonna sue 

-

hey um mrs. inmee

you've got a little something on your wrist...............

-

“Puhray always prayed a lot”

the terrible naming convention just makes that sound incredibly stupid

-

“She may say these terrible things, but it was just the way she was raised, I guess”

um... a lesson in tolerance i guess

-

“I didn’t know him very well”

you didnt know the guy you stayed with for two years?? man i guess Puhray really did pray the most.

-

i love that theyre mentioning ramen and burgers

and also that phoenix is offering to buy for maya

its the little things that make this game liveable 

-

everybody loves steel samurai!!!

-

“Whooops... its coming undone... WHOA!”

yes, it is indeed a very sexy picture. nice legs.

-

“tentacled hag frog”

what is this, last airbender??

-

“a spirit’s memory is cut off at the moment of death”

well of course. that’s how Mia was able to come to court knowing what was going on and being able to set phoenix on the right direction!

genius retcon there, guys. I guess that’s why Mia doesn’t make a comeback in this game :/

-

“helped neighbouring countries seek counsel”

actually thats an interesting callback to the original games where they state that before DL-6, Misty and Kurain village were famous for helping out people in high places. this i do not mind so much.

... though i doubt this would prevent you being invaded, Kooraheen. Also considering she mentions ‘keeping their unique culture’ as an aside to that fact, and the fact that a lot of this fictional country is based off of Tibet... Ouch.

-

“ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS!!!”

hey, there’s that ol’ Khumerican spirit!

-

“so the queen can perform the dance of devotion? that’d be a sight to see”

Phoenix stop imaging the queen in a mini skirt.

-

“theres no reason to panic, the police are on his trail”

the police that let him run on foot out of a crowded courtroom. 

id say you can panic now.

-

in exchange for his visual youthfulness, phoenix has physically aged considerably.

meanwhile, Gregory Edgeworth was rocking major wrinkles at 35 and he was fit as a fiddle.

Oh Capcom, when will your beauty-based cruelty end??

-

are we legit going to search for Datz

-

ok now i rly wanna hear what a Warb’aad sounds like.

-

further proof that phoenix is a huge carnivore. i am pleased.

-

boy kooraheen isn't very accessible is it. stairs everywhere

-

i love that no matter where he is, phoenix is always buying food for children.

-

alright enough fun stuff. into the absurdly spacious sewer we go!

-

I'm legitimately laughing my ass off why is it so funny that Ahlbi didn’t know his dog could track scents????

-

AAA WE’RE IN

WE’RE IN A FUCKIN SEWER

IM YELLIN

-

...oh my god no... i stg... dont you dare 

OH GOD 

OHHH GOD 

fuck....

i dont know who’s stupider: the rebels or the police

-

he... can eat... an entire apple... that is half the size of his face... in one bite.

this, truly, is a man to be feared

ranger hobo, your new nickname is Potential Vore Machine

-

>phoenix likes apples

further proof he is a good boy

-

wow thats even worse

i thought they’d just put their base in the sewers, but no; their base is an OLD LAW OFFICE AKA THE FIRST PLACE YOU’D LOOK FOR LAWYER REBELS

again, not sure who’s stupider: the rebels, or the police?

-

“public enemy #1 is a lawyer? didnt see that coming”

clearly you expect more from this game, phoenix

-

“Im gonna sell out my best friend!”

>doubt

-

OH OK NEVER LOOK SURPRISED AGAIN CLOSE YOUR VORE MOUTH JESUS CHRIST

-

if he wasnt a rebel anymore he'd have kicked your ass since youre a lawyer, phoenix. its not that hard to put together that he’s lying. ...for some reason. 

-

LAME. YOU cant show him your badge??? bullshit.

-

fucking christ even when he whistles his mouth is larger than it should be. 

-

he really is rebel!larry isn’t he

-

so Dhurke has a power glare, huh? 

GLARE OFF WITH EDGEWORTH, GLARE OFF WITH EDGEWORTH, GLARE OFF WITH EDGEWORTH

-

“is this a law book? the dragon’s mark has been branded onto the cover...”

pfffttt edgy 

-

hmm. must be a new law-book if the defence culpability act is in it, since if i remember correctly that law was only recently introduced.

-

i love that Dhurke’s shit is just everywhere in this stupid house

-

...no way is he actually doing to

i...

like

i can’t even say punk’d. Phoenix, why would you try on a jacket that once belonged to a rebel leader while inside a rebel base that you’re not even sure is friendly to you? 

like i 

sense of preservation just goes out the window at the idea of looking cool?? actually to be fair that kind of makes sense for Phoenix so 

phoenix you should take it home and get it dry-cleaned.

-

“hmm this is an old photo...” says phoenix looking at a photo that’s as bright and shiny as the day it was taken. also he correctly guesses that it was taken 20 years ago based on... what evidence??

actually if he actually acknowledged that thats OBVIOUSLY APOLLO THERE then he’d have an actual metric to go by but NOPE! just bullshit magic deductions!

-

yeah or Nahyuta’s pulling a long game and you assholes are too impatient 

i cant believe I'm defending sadmad :/

-

WAIT A SECOND. ARE YOU TELLING ME....... THAT KID WHO LOOKS EXACTLY LIKE APOLLO....... IS APOLLO?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?

-

somehow Datz carried Phoenix through a tiny trapdoor and into this room huh

-

yay psyche locks!

-

YES!!!! YEEEEES!!! I GOT TO PRESENT MY BADGE

Soj... you may not be... completely horrible.

-

yeah phoenix, he was going to stab you if he thought you were on the side of the Queen

feel even stupider about that jacket now?

-

“Keera was working with the government the whole time?!”

well i mean what other motivation would they have? even if they were doing it for religious reasons that still lines up with the government’s intentions. 

this whole thing has a blacklisting smell on it too.

-

“a lawyer killed the queen, so the public turned against lawyers”

if that was how things worked, America would loath actors. 

-

“why does he have to jump like that before running off”

cause he’s a cartoon character 

-

“Well I guess we’re friends now”

oh phoenix 

my lonely baby

-

also where the fuck is Shah’do? That dog is a better policeman than every official in Kooraheen.

and i love that nobody notices people entering and exiting a sewer in broad daylight.  

-

well that was exactly where i thought it was

-

WOW GOOD GOING PHOENIX YOU DUMBFUCK

“HURRRHH I THINK ILL GO FIDN TH  SOOPER SECRET REBEL BASE WITH THE FUCKING PRINCESS IN-TOW. GENIUS!!!!”

OH YES, AND THEN TELL HER EXACTLY WHAT IT IS. AND THEN LET HER COME INSIDE WITH YOU WITHOUT THE INTENT TO SHUT HER UP

BRILLIANT!!

PHOENIX WRIGHT, TRULY THE REBEL’S GREATEST ALLY.

-

ohhhhHHHHHhhhh

well well well well well well

this is interesting

-

“I think I’ll take a picture of this super secret rebel base”

hhhnnngghhhh

-

search every nook and cranny eh

-

“if the rebellion ever happens, i hope its bloodless”

while that’s sweet of you phoenix, you can count on it now, sincE YOU’VE REVEALED THE SOURCE OF THEIR WEAPONRY TO THE ENEMY

-

“What’s this? A bloodstain?”

Hope it is not Chris’ bloodstain...

-

CURSED NOISE

CURSED NOISE

TURN IT OFF!!!

-

this is where capcom hides characters they don’t like

Klavier is somehwere in this room....... festering

-

well we’ve come to the end of another investigation 

tbh I'm starting to get into the storyline, though it still doesn’t feel like an Ace Attorney game

it’s more like... it’s like someone took their Ace Attorney AU and made an entire game about it. It’s got some cool points to it, but all in all, it just doesn’t... fit, I guess?

Oh well. onto trial #2 and saving Maya’s butt once again