#(just in case bc of a line or two under the cut)

[lian-fang-zun]

FGO Snippet: Barghest/Bhima

Bhima grinned. “Don’t worry about it,” he said. “Not like I was going to sleep anytime soon.”

Barghest hugged herself, feeling flustered despite the reassurance. “It’s as you say then, Lord Bhima,” she replied, more quietly than usual.

For a long moment, the two of them were unusually silent. The only sounds that could be heard were the machines in Novum Chaldea humming as they both gazed outside at the artificially crafted landscape beyond the window. Then, Bhima abruptly let out a breath and plopped down on the windowsill, patting the spot next to him.

“Do you want to sit down?” he asked. “Not like we’re going anywhere anytime soon.”

Barghest started, turning to meet Bhima’s warm gaze. She then dropped her own line of sight to where he was indicating, wondering why the son of Vayu brought out flustered feelings from her just by being himself. And here I’d been sure I left my tendency to fall in love so easily in the wastes of Faerie Britain...

“If that’s what you wish, Lord Bhima,” she finally said, before slowly following his lead in seating herself on the windowsill.

“Oh yeah, about that,” Bhima said suddenly, his smile falling slightly. “None of the ‘Lord Bhima’ from now on. Just ‘Bhima’ is fine.” The brightness in his smile returned soon after that was said, however. “We’re friends, and equals at that. You can forgo any knightly manners around me, you know?”

If only it were that easy to let go. Still, Barghest had noticed that despite his standing in life as one of the Pandavas, Bhima was far more casual and relaxed about proper address than one would expect. She supposed she could make an exception for him – or try to, anyway.

“...Bhima, then.” Testing his name without the ‘Lord’ before it was a strange feeling, but not unpleasant.

[whichcouldmeannothing]

big big marvey fic rec list

marvey is currently my most bookmarked ship, so trust me when i say i've been around the bend for marvey content. i have dug through a lot of it the past few months, so trust that these fics have been highly rated!

fics are loosely grouped, with the summary and my thoughts under the cut :3 no spoilers ofc bc i love you

MY PERSONAL FAVOURITES

A Specter-Ross Affair by @frivoloussuits (15k+, au)

“You ordered an ‘extra-hot, extra-wet cappuccino, single-origin, properly layered, to-go and ready five minutes ago to make up for your service speed or lack thereof.’” In which Mike is a barista, Rachel is a lawyer, and Harvey is paid excessive amounts of money to plan their joyous Christmas wedding.

"Love is just a particularly socially accepted form of fraud. It's a series of increasingly complex and fragile deceptions between two or more people, and, more alarmingly, between each participant and their own deluded subconscious."

i literally cannot recommend this fic enough. this might be my favourite read of the entire year, dead serious. this sounds fluffy but trust me, the pining and the angst go well like salt on a chocolate chip cookie: extremely decadent. everything about this fic goes insane and this should be your gateway drug into marvey, im so serious about this. READ IT. (weddingplanner!harvey)

of all the gin joints by @frivoloussuits (10k+, au)

Hanging around a neighborhood bar one night, Harvey befriends a guy named Mike after realizing they can both quote The Princess Bride on demand. In the law offices of Rand, Kaldor, Zane and Pearson, senior partner Harvey Specter takes on an unusual case, representing his managing partner's daughter as she divorces a Michael James Ross. Harvey sees no connection until it's far too late.

"They’re playing a virtuosic duet with inhuman ease, as if the intoxication has broken their boundaries and blurred them into a single entity."

this. obsessed with fics that really use the law in their plots, and this is a prime example. a lot of chemistry in this one that is described in a way that makes you jealous of the bond they share and there are still lines in this fic that i think about almost everyday but honestly, such a top-tier read. PLEASE PLEASE IF YOU LIKE SUFFERING ANF REALLY REALLY GOOD CHEMISTRY PLEASE

5U175 by Closer (26k, canon-adjacent)

Harvey sometimes moonlights as a Star Trek BNF. Mike might have an attitude problem on the internet. TiberiusGhost is strangely compelling, for a recluse who never goes to meetups, and Harvey's finding this kid Photohead vaguely familiar…

i know that the terminology in this one is hella old-school but trust me. as someone who doesnt read a lot of fandom fics, this fic has changed it all for me (also bc the author replied to my comment hehehe) stick with this fic because the way fandom weaves with the character development is absolutely delicious, i remember saying this in my og comment but this fic was written with love for fandom and you should definitely read it too!!! you'd absolutely love it! (also ben stans rise up ^^)

fics to sink your teeth into (20k+)

needs must by @melthemagpie (98k+, au)

When Grammy needs an upgrade in care, Mike knows that the usual one-off gig as a paid submissive won't be enough. He takes a job he's been refusing for a while - a long-term, full-time contract. He expects his client to be a sadistic asshole. He expects not to like it. He's wrong on both counts.

this is a fandom classic, every fic rec has this on the list (cw for dom/sub and prostitution, so if you're uncomfy please dont read) but i swear there are so many romantic moments in this one that make me swoon and the smut is very good, i usually tap out in long fics really quickly but this hooked me the whole way through twice. thats my ringing endorsement, READ THIS

Lobster and Other Catastrophes by @andthetardis (21k, canon-compliant)

After months of silence, Mike starts texting Harvey again out of the blue. Funny thing to do on his honeymoon, really.

BRO PLEASE. this was so good. angsty and pining-y enough even though it's mostly a text fic. text fics to me are more like comedic, but this one had substance and heart (and funny and enjoyable btw). pulls you in and really makes you want to stick it out and get to the beautiful ending <333 (harvey being soft is probably a category on its own :3)

The Game by @frivoloussuits (27k, hunger games au)

Harvey Specter and Donna Paulsen are efficient and elegant killers. They have trained since childhood, mentored personally by Jessica Pearson and marked for years as District 1's Tributes for the Hunger Games. Mike Ross is an orphan from District 12, a drug dealer, and an underage gambler. After years of scrutinizing the Hunger Games on TV to make savvy bets, he finds himself on the wrong side of the camera, now playing the odds just to survive. Harvey and Mike cannot, should not trust each other. Still, they strike a backroom deal.

"Because he’s clever and quick-thinking and he’s learned her main lesson well– don’t love anyone you wouldn’t be willing to see dead. Ideally, don’t love anyone at all."

I READ THIS WHEN I WAS REVISITING HUNGER GAMES AND OHHHHH THIS HAS THE ANGST. absolutely riveting. ths is the third fic im reccing from them bc i love frivoloussuits. i would die for them HHFSHFHKSDGDHFG i love the angst and the life-threatening situations that the hunger games provide and harvey as a career is correct. its just correct. everything here grips my soul

Disaster Stories by agatestones (22k, canon-compliant)

"Hold on," Mike asked, "you made Donna come into work in the middle of a blizzard?" "I don't make Donna do anything. Haven't you learned by now?" Harvey gave Mike a mean little smile, but under that was relief for anyone to see. "You, I can make come into the office in a blizzard."

reads like a novella to me, and it's really good!!! very episodic and you really feel like these are things that have happened in universe. its very slice of lifey and i reread it a lot as a comfort read, its like a big hug to me

Pizza and a Movie by Closer (30k+, au)

In an alternate universe, Harvey's still a lawyer but Mike's not a pot runner -- he's a deliveryman for Rollo's Pizza and Ribs, which happens to be Harvey's favorite pizza place. Once Harvey finds out his pizza guy is a genius, Mike's life takes a few turns he would not have expected...

i swear this is the most rom-commy fic marvey has to offer. i like aus that slap me in the face more with the alternate universe, but this is such a rom-com plot. fandom classic as well and it really reads like a hugh grant 90s movie and if thats not enough to pull you in idk what will tbh

Imprimatur by Closer (22k, au)

Mike was raised to believe Imprint was a life-changing event for those few lucky enough to experience it. Harvey was raised to believe it was a form of mental illness. When it actually happened, neither of them noticed.

this goes absolutely crazy. one of those fics where you read it and you almost want to throw your phone at the wall because the characters could make it so easy if they werent so stupid (but in a good way of course) but the way it was written, you feel the depth of the soulmate bond and why its so important (which a lot of soulmate aus forget to do loll) but goes down like an expensive and delicious dinner :)

afternoon reads (10k+)

Sony SRF-39FP by @frivoloussuits (11k+, canon-adjacent)

Anita Gibbs won’t settle for Mike, not when there are name partners within her reach. She offers only one deal– two years, no other charges against anyone else in the firm, as long as Harvey Specter turns himself in. And even as Donna and Jessica and Louis and Mike beg him not to, he jumps on the grenade. “Time to get busy living or get busy dying,” he remarks, and Mike gives a small chuckle. Then Harvey smirks, straightens his suit jacket, and strides into FCI Danbury.

“I can’t believe they’re trying to lock you in a box and forget about you,” Mike sighs as he leaves.

“Well, as long as you don’t forget me, I figure I’ll survive.”

“Maybe you haven’t noticed, but forgetting’s never been my strong suit.

cw for depersonalization and desc of solitary confinement, very very heavy but the way mike is there throughout everything makes my heart twinge. i really dont know how to describe this fic at all but its really good. it makes me cry a lot. also made me start listening to jazz which- uh

Here at the end of all things by @tattooedsiren (10k, au)

When he arrives at the Pearson Hardman building the lights are dimmed and the floor is deserted. His feet carry him to Harvey's office even though he expects it to be empty. Because Harvey probably fled the city via helicopter or teleporter or sheer force of will. But when he approaches the office he can see that Harvey is there. He has moved the couch so that it now faces the floor to ceiling windows and Mike silently sits beside Harvey, joins him in looking down at the chaos engulfing the city below. [Apocalypse AU]

I LOVE APOCALYPSE FICS UP UP UP badass!harvey makes me bark, but im a really big fan of people who find happiness in the worst circumstances and this fic does it so so so well. reminds me a lot of tlou episode like 2? the one with the strawberries. please this is what i revisit when i miss marvey and i dont have a lot of time because the world and the characters are jsut so delicious!!!

quick reads (1k+)

This Love is Silent by kim47 (8k, canon-compliant)

She should have known. She had known, that something was off, at least. She knew he was hiding something. She just never imagined it could be this. Despite Harvey's warnings, Mike tells Rachel the truth about everything. She's shocked, naturally, and more than a little angry, but she agrees to keep his secret, and even to date him. So when they break up, Harvey goes into damage-control mode.

RACHEL!! HELLO RACHEL!! im always up for smart and discerning rachel (this shows up in of all the gin joints too btw!!!) this runs realistic to me because it shows that rachelxmike arent some hopelessly wrong for each other couple, they have good and bad times. this feels more real to me than other fics bc its not like the world conspires for marvey to be apart, its just life. i know this makes it sound so sad, and it is, but trust me: this is really really really good i love this so much

an archive of harvey specter's expressions by @frivoloussuits (2k, canon-compliant)

Five old expressions that Mike rediscovers in new contexts once he and Harvey are (finally) together, and one that he sees for the first time. Alternatively titled “An Ode to Gabriel Macht’s Face.”

this was written for me. this is literally me. writing fic because gabriel macht is too pretty, like this fic is literally for me. a lot of peering at him to get this fic as masterfully written as it is, and i thank you author everyday for it. to me, this reads like it's been written with love and care and true adoration (Truly, like Mike)

Coffee-Cart Client Privilege by @frivoloussuits (7k, au)

Mike runs a coffee cart. The coffee cart.

"Why not? They're too big and dense to be a snack." So are you, Mike thinks, and yet.

IM SORRY I KEEP RECCING FRIVOLOUS SUITS THEYRE MY FAVOURITE WRITER IN THIS FANDOM HFBKABFDKHFBHKDSA this has the hand-wavy logic the show has itself but mike's internal monologue in this one is one of the best ive ever read and the way mike's integrated in the offices is just so well-done ahhhh

Objection by yeah its frivoloussuits again i feel bad tagging them like 7 times (2k, canon-adjacent)

When Mike announces he’s leaving, Harvey plans to hide the jagged pieces of his broken heart deep inside, where no one will ever find them. His heart would like to object.

BIGG fan of physical hurt/comfort!!!! also big fan of people absolutely freaking out in the hospital in fics, it makes me bounce of the wall!! very short but the angst and love really hits you quick and leaves you on the floor gasping for air. very good (also cant prove this but im very sure this is a scrubs reference.t hanks)

Excerpts From The Gospel of Harvey Specter, edited by Michael "Forever Awesome" Ross, 2011, 1st Ed, by @rcmclachlan (7k, canon compliant)

Mike can totally read people. Well, most people. Some people. Or maybe just Harvey, who's pretty much an open book.

this one's really funny! it doesent follow direct prose and instead plays a lot with the setting its in (where mike's a documenter of harvey) and its just so funny and adorable. has a lot of heart too, it isn't just crack or anything but you really feel everything mike does as he writes all this, read this!!1

One More Sleepless Night by @sal_si_puedes (9k, au)

Soul Bonds are one-sided – there’s usually mutual affection, but only one party feels the crippling need to be together as often as possible. If separated at length from their love, that party becomes crushed by longing, panic, and sheer hopelessness, and so it is illegal to forcibly keep Soulmates apart. Some days, Harvey Specter hates the Bond that skews his judgement and weakens his resolve, and he fears what would happen if anyone in his world ever discovers he is so compromised. He certainly never planned to disclose the Bond for the first time in the middle of Anita Gibbs’ office, in a last-ditch attempt to invalidate the deal sending Mike to prison.

HSDGFHSDKGHRLKGHK THIS FIC. i love fics that use more than just prose to tell their stories (see above fic) and this does my favourite thing that soulmate aus do, which is where they integrate in-universe explanations for the phenomenon. the amount of work and dedication put into this fic makes it absolutely sing and was absolutely lovely!!

also pspspsps

golden like the daffodils by @mini-mart (2k, canon-compliant)

Poetry holds meaning, for anyone who reads it. It obscures and dances around the literal and metaphorical, because it’s imbued with so much of something that it overflows out of any definition. It can make someone mad, or lovesick, or aroused, and the reactions would be absolutely warranted. Mike is poetry, to Harvey. - Harvey Specter could be a good politician, as he believes in pragmatism over poetry. He won't let his progress fall apart, won't let someone knock it down. And then someone unceremoniously cracks open a suitcase at his feet. Or: Harvey, pretty boys and poetry.

yeah yeah i wrote this yeah yeah self promo smth smth

there's a lot more that isn't here but i'll probably write a new one when i go for a deep dive through the ship tags again :3

^^ ao3 etiqutte applies! if you like the fic, kudos and comment and bookmark!! show your love! happy reading marveys! my gift to u :3

[twistedwonderlandshenanigans]

TWST Cast Mid-Effort Snacks They Make

Listen I'm no wizard in the kitchen but I think I can make some half decent snacks. That being said, this post is long, does not have accurate measurements for half of it, bc why the hell would I actually write stuff down I Totally Don't Forget Things All The Time.

Also like. mid-effort snacks. You know, you're not just Opening a bag of chips but you are going to need. At least a microwave. (also, using minimal dishes possible nobody wants to clean up). This is all stuff I've made or at least eaten, myself, lmk if you try it or if I missed a vital detail LMAO

ANYWAYS if this post is popular enough I'll share some like. Actual recipes as well, the Culinary Crucible thingy finally came in and I feel INSPIRED, some of these have little uhh like 'justification' or story behind them some don't bc I feel like it's obvious. GTAT refers to the section at the end, I got tired of writing it out over and over again sldkjhklsjdf ---------------------------------------------------

Heartslaybul

Riddle - (Dark) Chocolate Strawberry Bark

Materials and Ingredients: - Parchment paper - Cutting board/cookie tray - Microwave-safe bowl - Knife - Strawberries (it's okay if they're overripe, as long as you can still cut them safely) - (Dark) Chocolate chips or Nutella, your choice - Peanut butter - Sweetened condensed milk (scm) - Plastic container - Freezer

Instructions:

Cut your parchment paper to about the size of a cookie sheet, but really it depends on how many strawberries you're using (I do not remember how many I used, I think it was like 8, you do not need many, especially if you cut them really thin) and put on top of cutting board/cookie sheet. A flexible cutting board is best, but it's whatever fits in your freezer.

Destem your strawberries and slice them thinly while they're standing upright. Like the part you destemmed is against the parchment paper. (or cutting board but y'know. Why Dirty It). Place them laying down on the parchment paper as close to each other as possible. I found like. Fitting the triangle shapes together like teeth was the easiest way but something else might work better for you. Dice one or two strawberries and set aside.

In a bowl, measure out about a cup of chocolate. If it seems like too much, you can just. eat it ig or dip leftover strawberries into it like I did. If it's not enough, babe just add more it's okay lmao. If you're using chocolate chips, add some sort of fat before you microwave (any oil, lard/Crisco, butter, margarine, etc.) in fifteen second intervals. (if you don't have a microwave, there are instructions under 'General tips and tricks' to hopefully help!). If you're using Nutella, just pop that bad boy in there for fifteen second intervals. In both cases, mix in between intervals until it's kind of runny.

Pour chocolate evenly over the strawberries, at least enough to cover them completely from the top/fill any gaps that are present. Wash the bowl, and repeat the process with peanut butter.

This is optional I really like chocolate and think it's more aesthetically pleasing than peanut butter, but peanut butter doesn't harden as well as chocolate does to bind the strawberry layer together so I couldn't put it first. I did another layer of chocolate on top, but it was thinner than the original one.

Sprinkle diced strawberries on top, and drizzle SCM to your hearts content. (Any leftover SCM needs to be put into a separate container and can stay in your fridge for up to 3 weeks).

Freeze it. It's just faster this way and helps the peanut butter out. I left mine in there for a day, but I think it's okay after like an hour, idk, you decide.

Snap/cut your bark into smaller pieces, use the parchment paper to help line whatever container you're going to use and store your treat in there. I enjoyed these treats best frozen or on top of vanilla ice cream, but they do need to be kept at least refrigerated. Fair warning, if you're a slow eater, these will get messy if you wait too long slkdjfhlkjsdfsdf recommend you eat with a fork.

THE REST ARE UNDER THE CUT WOOT WOOT (Riddle's is easily one of the higher effort ones, so do not be dismayed! There are some on this list with only 2 ingredients, I just talk a lot LMAO)

Trey - Tanghulu No baking required, still satisfies his sweet tooth.

Materials and Ingredients: - Stove (someone said you can use a microwave, IIIIII don't Like That for this, but I'm sure you can) - Fruit (doesn't really matter what kind. I used kiwis, strawberries, and grapefruit.) - White sugar - Water - Bowl of ice water - Fork (skewers are better but I didn't have any, and toothpicks...don't fw toothpicks for this okay??) - Parchment paper\Plate (you just need to make sure it's hardened BEFORE you put the fruit on it kdfjhsfjkd)

Instructions:

Ensure your fruit is washed/dried, peeled or otherwise "ready to eat" before starting

Use a 2:1 sugar to water ratio and put it in a pot. (So 2 cups of sugar to 1 cup of water, or a more likely amount you'll actually use up is 1 cup of sugar to 1/2 cup of water)

Heat on medium and watch closely, it's not suggested you mix it, I did, just by swirling the pot to make sure all the sugar was in the water, but then I left it alone. You'll see it starting to change colour to yellow-y rather than clear. Use a spoon/fork to dip into the sugar mixture and then immediately into the bowl of ice water. If it appears stringy or is still soft and sticky to touch, it's not ready yet. Keep boiling until your test drop solidifies on contact/within seconds of being in the ice water.

Turn the heat down slightly and use your fork or skewer to poke your fruit, and dip carefully into sugar mixture. Immediately, (but carefully) place your sugar covered fruit into the ice bowl. Once you take it out, it should only take a moment to harden before you place it on a plate/parchment paper.

Intended to be eaten immediately, does not store very well. Check 'general tips and tricks' for how to clean the pot/fork

Cater - Spicy Garlic Cheese Bread

Materials and Ingredients: - French Bread (works the best, but you can use whatever bread you have on hand) or premade garlic bread - Butter/Margarine - Salad herbs (like the premade mix or whatever, other seasonings optional) - (Shredded) Cheese - Jalapenos - Other toppings + hot sauce (optional) - Bowl - Spoon - Microwave - Oven

Instructions:

If using premade garlic bread, skip to step 3. Otherwise, get your bowl and chunk of butter (if using french bread, I would say about a half cup) and pop it in the microwave just long enough to get it soft, but not melted. Measure salad herbs with your heart and mix with a spoon.

Cut your bread in half and slather that son of a bitch in butter, having worked in a bakery I know that premade garlic bread literally gets a Handful of "butter" (it's margarine) that just gets. Slathered onto half of a day-old French bread loaf. (Safeway. Looking at you.) If you want to try putting on some BBQ sauce or tomato sauce now would be your time to add it. If you are adding sauce, a little less butter is recommended otherwise it will get Soggy

Put on as much cheese as you want. Whatever cheese you want. I'm not the boss of you.

Throw on jalapenos and any other toppings you want. (red onions, bell peppers, make it a meal with some chicken or something idk)

Broil on high until It Looks Right, as in the cheese is melted and golden brown in some areas (assuming it's marble cheese), or wrap in aluminum foil (risky with The Cheese) and bake at 350 F for like 10 minutes (I still recommend baking over broiling but it's your choice bestie)

Drizzle with hot sauce if you want/any other condiments.

French bread is pretty big, so cut into smaller pieces and share with friends/family/your neighbour/ whatever or full send it or you can try to store it, I think once it's cooled, a plastic bag would be the best bet for storage, and only for a day or two before your bread gets Sad.

Deuce - Ants on a Log He used to love it when his mom would send him to school with these.

Materials and Ingredients: - Cutting board (unless you would like to be a heathen like me) - Knife - Celery - Peanut butter - Raisins/Chocolate chips/Cereal/whatever you want

Instructions:

Decide if you even want to bother cutting your celery, you can leave it whole if you really want.

If you want to cut your celery, cut it according to taste or break that motherfucker with your bare hands just to hear it snap and get that little bit of Emotion and satisfaction out of it. Not recommended if you want bite sized pieces. Generally only cut in a way that keeps the 'sides' of the celery in tact, like you should have a little 'dip' to put peanut butter in, but its ok if its not comfortable to eat it that way and you need to cut it vertically as well, nbd, BUT DON'T CUT IT THAT WAY YET it's so much harder to get the peanut butter on.

Use a butter knife to add peanut butter to your celery. It should fill the little valley in between the sides of the stalk. **Now would be the time to cut again if you want Planks if you know what I mean

Add your toppings, be it raisins, chocolate chips, etc. along the peanut butter to represent the ants slkdjhflksjdf

Ace - Oreo Mug Cake His brother showed him once and he didn't stop since.

Materials and Ingredients: - Oreos - Milk - Fork - Microwave safe mug - Microwave - Whipped Cream (optional)

Instructions:

Get your mug.

Throw 4-6 Oreos in. (4 for an 8 ounce mug, more for a bigger one) and soak in 1 less tablespoon of milk than the amount of cookies you put in. (so 3 tbs for an 8 ounce mug)

The longer you soak them, the easier it is to crush them and break them up, it should become kind of cakey texture already

Pop that bad boy in the microwave for a minute, and in 20 second intervals after that as necessary. Its not like it matters if it's 'raw' though.

Let it cool until you can handle the mug comfortably, add whipped cream or other toppings and enjoy!

Savanaclaw

Leona - Bacon Wrapped Sausages

Materials and Ingredients: - Baking dish (should have some depth to it) - Parchment paper - Cocktail sausages - Bacon - Scissors/Knife - Toothpicks - Brown sugar (optional) - Oven

Instructions:

Cut your bacon in half

Preheat your oven to 350 F. Roll up cocktail sausage in half a rasher of bacon and secure in place with a toothpick.

Place parchment paper in/on baking dish and place the rolls inside

Once you've prepared as many as you'd like, you can sprinkle brown sugar on top.

Bake for about an hour

Ruggie - Elote Loco (Mexican street corn/ 'crazy corn')

Materials and Ingredients: - Canned corn - Mayo - Lemon/Lime - Salt - Pepper - Cayenne - Bowl

Instructions:

Drain your corn can, then add corn to your bowl

Literally. Add everything else according to taste. Heat if you want to, or put in the fridge to eat cold. (I like it cold).

Jack - Fruit Leather (this is a higher-effort, more time-consuming recipe)

Materials and Ingredients - Cutting board (not optional this time :/) - Knife/Corer (if applicable) - Stove - Large saucepan - Water - Blender/Potato Masher - Lemon/Sugar/Cinnamon/Nutmeg, Etc. (optional, but recommended) - Parchment paper - Baking tray - Oven - Pizza cutter (makes things easier, not necessary)

Instructions:

Prepare your fruit. (Wash, peel, destem, core them, remove pits, etc.)

Chop into chunks, and simmer in 1/2 cup of water for every 4 cups of fruit while covered for 10-20 minutes, or until fruit is cooked. You can mash by hand or just go ahead and transfer everything to a blender, but you will have to transfer back into the pot after.

Taste, and add sugar/lemon/spices according to your preference.

Simmer and stir until everything is mixed in completely and the puree has thickened. (5-10 minutes)

Preheat oven to 140 F (check GTAT at the end for troubleshooting). Puree thoroughly in a blender/food processor.

Line baking tray and pour puree evenly onto it, it should be about 1/4 inch thick. Bake for 8-12 hours.

Use pizza cutter to cut into smaller pieces. You can cut the parchment paper underneath and roll the pieces accordingly to store.

This is a more labour intensive snack, BUT it keeps for sooo long. It can keep at room temp in ziploc bag for a month. In the fridge for 6 months. In the freezer for a year. Also a really good way to use overripe fruit.

Octavinelle

Azul - Funnel Cakes >:D (I had to look up a recipe to base the measurements off of, I did not memorize this, but I changed a few things when I Actually Made them)

Materials and Ingredients: - Stove - Large pan - Oil (Vegetable oil, but I think coconut or sunflower oil should work too if you have certain restrictions) - 1/4 cup Milk - 1 Egg - 1 tbsp Water - Splash of Vanilla extract (splash is generally between a 1/4 tsp and 1 tsp To Me) - White sugar (to taste) - 3/4 tsp Baking powder - Pinch of Salt - 1/2 cup Flour - Powdered sugar (to taste) - Cinnamon (to taste) - Plate - Paper towel - Large measuring cup - Fork or tongs - Other toppings (optional)

Instructions:

Throw all the Wet ingredients into the large measuring cup and whisk

Add sugar, cinnamon, salt, and baking powder, whisk until combined

Add oil to pan and start heating on medium, it should be about an inch deep to deep fry. Add flour to measuring cup and whisk until smooth.

(Refer to GTAT at the end to know when oil is hot enough). Use the measuring cup to drizzle the batter in a line around the pan and overlap as desired. Honestly, the thicker the lines the better imo. Cook for 2 minutes until golden brown, then flip and repeat.

Once cooked, move carefully to plate with paper towel to soak up the oil, and add powdered sugar on top. Add other toppings as desired.

Jade - Roasted Chickpeas Easy protein to bring on a hike

Materials and Ingredients: - Can of chickpeas - Baking tray - Parchment paper - Olive oil - Seasoning as you wish (Personal recommendation: garlic powder, salt, paprika, pepper and a little cayenne) - Oven

Instructions:

Line a baking tray with parchment paper and preheat your oven to 400 F.

Drain your can of chickpeas, rinse, then drain again. Try and dry them out a bit before you season them, either leaving them in a colinder or letting them sit out on paper towels or a cloth...or on the tray if you've got time to kill. **If you don't like the feeling of oil on your hands, you might have an extra dish to wash but thats okay. Add your chickpeas to a glass bowl before the next step.

Transfer chickpeas to the tray (if you're not using the bowl) and coat with a generous amount of oil. Add seasonings as you wish, then mix with your hands (or a spoon if you're using the bowl, then transfer to the tray.)

Bake for 20-30 minutes, shaking the pan gently about every 10 minutes to help rotate the chickpeas. Once they're golden brown and crunchy, they're done.

Best eaten straight away, but you can keep them in container for a few days.

Floyd - Trail Mix (AKA the ADHD snack Ever imo)

Materials and Ingredients - Anything you got in your pantry that already kinda qualifies as a snack food - Something to put it in (bag or bowl/container with a lid is preferable) - My favourite mix to make is granola, cranberries, raisins, and chocolate chips

Instructions

Grab your materials

If you're using something that should probably cut up, (like fruit by the foot or something idk) just rip it and throw it in the Container.

Mix everything in a bowl or bag. Use more of your Favourite Ingredient than everything else, then close your storage thing.

Shake that motherfucker

Put everything back (or do this As You Add it so you're left with nothing to clean up at the end)

Scarabia

Kalim - The Forbidden (I made this when I was like 6 for a week straight after school, I DO NOT recommend) He came up with this as a midnight snack and didn't want to bother Jamil.

Materials and Ingredients - Microwave - Microwave safe bowl - Chocolate chips - Mini marshmallows - Fork - A very high tolerance for Texture and Sweetness

Instructions:

Put chocolate chips and marshmallows in the bowl

Microwave for 15 second intervals, mixing with your fork in between.

When it becomes a sticky amalgamation from hell and looks like a dung beetle would be proud of it, it's done.

Jamil - Fattoush He saves the leftovers of the dishes he makes for Kalim throughout the day in order to make some version of Fattoush

Materials and Ingredients: - Cutting board - Knife + Pizza cutter (not necessary, but fun) - Lettuce - Tomato - Cucumber - Radishes - Pita bread - Pan - Stove - Olive oil - Salt + pepper - Bowl x 2 - Glass measuring cup - Lemon juice - Garlic powder, dried mint, and sumac (you don't have to use these) - (I like adding Granny smith apples and goat or feta cheese, but it's not traditional)

Instructions:

Cut up your veggies like you would for any salad and throw em in a bowl

Use the pizza cutter to slice pita bread into smaller, bite sized pieces.

Fry the pieces with a little bit of olive oil, salt and pepper, then set aside in a different bowl so they stay Crunchy

In the glass measuring cup use about 2 tbsp of lemon juice, add some garlic powder, dried mint, salt, pepper, sumac, and whisk.

Slowly stream in about 3 tbsp of olive oil and whisk continuously until it combines. (this might take a while to emulsify, yes you can use a hand mixer on low if you want)

Drizzle dressing over your salad portion, and add pita chips as you wish

Pomefiore

Vil - Parfait He let the French man into his life, also this is bougie parfait, you don't have to follow this exactly lmao, this is just how I used to make it for my mom

Materials and Ingredients - Cutting board + knife - Grapes, red and green if possible - Granola - Blueberries (they can be frozen) - Cherries, cored/halved except one (can also be frozen) - Yogurt (I prefer vanilla for this stuff, Vil probably uses plain Greek yogurt and some honey for sweetness) - A wine glass, otherwise just a clear glass makes it look best, but it doesnt really matter - Spoon

Instructions:

Dice those grapes as small or large as you like, mine are generally the size of like. The eraser end of a pencil. Set aside.

Get your glass and gently spoon yogurt into the bottom, up by about 2 inches. If you have the patience, gently arrange the blueberries into a 1 berry layer. If not, just grab less than a handful of blueberries and put them on top of the yogurt.

Add another inch of yogurt to completely cover the berry layer, and add a thin layer of granola. Cover completely with yogurt again, using another inch-2 inches to do so

Again, if you have the patience, you can arrange your cherry halves into a nice circle to completely cover the yogurt layer. If not, do the same thing as the blueberries.

Cover with another inch-two inches of yogurt. Add a thicker band of granola this time, and top with yogurt once more, to nearly the top of the glass.

Add your whole cherry to the middle of the parfait, and add the mix of diced grapes around it. ** if you used frozen fruit, let it thaw for a couple minutes so you can see the colour bleed into the yogurt a bit bc it looks cool. I'm the boss of you for this one rule because I'm right about it sdlkjfhsldjkf

Rook - Maakouda A guilty pleasure of his. He remembers them fondly from home. Works best with leftover mashed potatoes.

Materials and Ingredients: - Mashed potatoes (if you don't have left overs, just boil chunked potatoes in lightly salted water. Once they're soft, drain them, use a handmixer to mix, add some butter/whipping cream, season as you wish (garlic powder, salad herbs, salt, pepper), add shredded cheese if you want idc. Once everything is mixed you got yourself. Mashies.) - Egg - Garlic, Parsley, Cumin, Tumeric, Salt, Pepper - Flour in a bowl - Oil - Pan - Stove** - you can use an air-fryer for this if you want - Slotted spoon/tongs/fork - Plate w/ paper towel

Instructions:

For every 2 cups of mashed potatoes, you will add one egg, but don't do it yet. Add seasoning to your mashed potatoes first so you can taste and adjust the flavour as necessary, THEN add your egg(s).

Start heating oil, (about 2 inches) in a pan at medium heat. While you wait for it to get to temperature, (Look at GTAT to know when the oil is hot enough) roll your potato mixture into small balls and roll in flour

Fry until golden. Remove from oil using your utensil of choice and let it drain on the paper towel

Repeat until all the "batter" is used up

Epel - Dulce de Leche + Apple Slices Ruggie showed it to him

Materials and Ingredients - Sweetened Condensed Milk (if you don't just have dulce de leche on hand) - Apples (Granny Smith recommended) - Two glass baking pans, one larger than the other - Water - Oven

Instructions:

Preheat oven to 425 F

Pour SCM into smaller glass pan, cover with foil

Place smaller glass pan into larger glass pan. Fill the larger glass pan with as much water as necessary to cover the level of SCM in the smaller pan

Throw it in the oven for like 2 hours and monitor periodically to refill with water if necessary. Keep cooking until it's the colour golden brown you want

Once it's to colour, remove from oven carefully, remove foil, and remove from larger glass pan carefully.

Once cool enough, store in glass jar if possible, or wait longer and store it in a plastic container.

Cut up apple and whatever is left in the pan, scrape it out with the apple and eat it lmaooo unless you have a silicone spatula ain't no way you getting all that caramel out of the pan. Serve yourself more as necessary lmao

Ignihyde

Idia - Worms and Dirt Baybeeeeeeee The far less healthy version of a parfait

Materials and Ingredients: - Crushed Oreos (Oreos + double bagged ziploc bags and you Gamer Rage sldfhlskdjfhlsj) - Whipped Cream - (If making from scratch, you'll need whipping cream, vanilla, and powdered sugar + hand mixer. Just throw ingredients in to taste and mix) - Chocolate pudding - Gummy worms - Rolling pin (optional) - Mixing bowl (glass or metal preferable) - Spatula - (Clear) Glass

Instructions:

Crush the Oreo's by any means necessary. Obliterate them.

Pack the Oreo remains into the bottom of your cup

Mix your whipped cream with the chocolate pudding using the spatula to fold it into each other until it Tastes Right. That is subjective, so if you Like it and it's Brown you Did It.

Spoon/plap how much of your chocolate mousse you'd like into your cup. Throw in a couple gummy worms, add more oreo corpse if you want then fill to the top with chocolate mousse.

Top with more oreo ashes and more gummy worms

Leftover mousse is pretty versatile if you have it with fruit or make more worms and dirt, but it only keeps for a day or two in the fridge

Ortho - :(

Diasomnia

Malleus - "Snow Cone"

Materials and Ingredients: - Rage - Double or triple ziploc bags - Ice - Hot water - Grenadine, Maple syrup, Lime and salt, something else (Choose ONE per serving or embrace Lilia's energy and regret it) - A bowl + spoon

Instructions:

Double/triple bag ice

Run bags under hot water for a few minutes to help melt the ice a little bit (assuming you don't have already very small pieces of ice)

Crush the ice via brute force (its a good work out) OR I GUESS you could use a BLENDER but where's the fun in that

Get rid of any extra water and serve very finely crushed ice in a bowl

Top with your desired flavouring to taste

Lilia -

REDACTED

Silver - Refried Beans Another Ruggie special lmao I love him so much

Materials and Ingredients: - Canned black beans - Salsa (optional) - Chicken bouillon - Oil - Pan/Stove - Wooden spoon/potato masher - Chips or some sort of bread

Instructions:

Drain a little more than half of the Bean Juice

Over medium heat, add a little bit of oil to the pan, (enough to cover the bottom), and add the Beans

As it heats up and the remaining Bean Juice starts to bubble, add chicken bouillon and salsa to taste.

Mash the beans while they cook to mix in flavouring and to get beans to the right consistency. They'll be done when there's no liquid left sloshing around, but you can decide how Dry you want your beans

Add beans on top of tortilla chips, sprinkle cheese on top and call it done, throw some in a burrito or on top of salad, lightly toast some bread, put some mayo on it and add the beans, do what you want <3

Sebek - Salmon Croquettes

Materials and Ingredients: - Canned salmon - Diced bell peppers (choose your favourite colours)**go to GTAT for other substitutions and notes - Diced red onion - Egg (if you don't have any just add more mayo) - Worcestershire sauce - Mayo - Garlic powder, salt, pepper, paprika, other seasonings (your choice) -Bowl - Flour - Panko (optional, or substitute bread crumbs) - Oil - Stove/Pan - Tongs (you can try to use a fork but it won't always work lol) - Plate w/paper towel

Instructions:

Prepare your veggies, and drain salmon

Mix in with canned salmon, and add mayo, Worcestershire, and seasonings to taste. Add just a tiny bit more than you think you should in regards to spices because when you throw the flour in, it'll 'dilute' the flavour a bit

Lightly beat 1 egg for every 5 ounces of salmon (should be on the can) and add to mixture, using hands or wooden spoon to mix.

Add just enough flour and breadcrumbs to the mixture that it doesn't stick to your hands.

Set up your pan with oil, (just enough to cover the bottom), over medium heat and make little 'patties' out of your mix.

Fry your patties until golden brown (2-3 minutes) on both sides.

Remove from heat and place on plate to drain.

Staff

Crowley - Fuckit Fudge (AKA Rocky Road Fudge)

Materials and Ingredients: - Parchment paper - Cake pan - 2 cups Chocolate chips - SCM (14 oz = 1 3/4 cups, should be on the can) - 1/4 cup Butter - Vanilla - Marshmallows - Almonds - Anything else you want (just be aware you'll have to add more chocolate and you'll likely have to cut down on the other fillings as well) - Glass bowl - Spatula - Microwave/Double boiler (GTAT tells you how to make one) - Patience

Instructions:

Melt chocolate chips, SCM, and butter (about 90 seconds in the microwave)

While it's melting, set up your cake pan with parchment paper

Add a splash of vanilla extract and mix with spatula until smooth

Stir add-ins into mixture, and pour into cake pan carefully

Make sure mixture is spread evenly, and refrigerate until it solidifies (depends on how deep you made the fudge)

Cut into chunks and serve. Stores well in an airtight container in the fridge for up to 2 weeks.

Trein - Raspberry Cordial Not a 'snack' but like if the Shaftlands are known for ruby berries I feel like this is close enough. It's from Anne of Green Gables, shhh its soooo good

Materials and Ingredients - Raspberries (GASP can you believe it) - Lemon/lemon juice - White sugar - Water - Sparkling water/Ginger Ale works too. Sprite is a stretch. - Pot/Stove - Fine mesh strainer - Pitcher - Ladle - Glass measuring cup

Instructions:

We're making a raspberry syrup, so you can use fresh, overripe or frozen raspberries. For every cup of raspberries, use just under a half cup of sugar, (3 cups of raspberries = 1 1/4 cups of sugar), and put both into a pot/saucepan.

Cook on medium/high heat and mash with like. the bottom of a ladle or something. It'll take like 20 minutes to have it cooked down to a liquid.

Strain into the measuring cup. If there are still seeds or pulp, strain again. Squeeze lemon into it in small amounts and taste as you go until you get the flavour You Want. This is your syrup. At this point, if you want to save some to use for other recipes or something, set some aside.

Boil the water (Use one cup more of water than you did of raspberries) and add it to the pitcher with your raspberry syrup. Mix, then let it chill in the fridge. ** if you would like to use sparkling water/lemonade or ginger ale instead, you'll just have to mix for longer is all, don't heat those

Serve and garnish with lemon or mint.

Crewel - Carrot Salad idk man I'm running out of steam and ideas lmaoooo

Materials and Ingredients: - Carrots, peeled - Grater - Bowl - Lemon, salt, cayenne - Fork

Instructions:

Grate your carrots into the bowl you're gonna eat out of

Squeeze your shredded carrots to get rid of the extra Juice (look at GTAT)

Add lemon/lime, salt and cayenne according to taste, and mix with fork

Tastes best chilled, eat immediately

Vargas - Deviled Eggs

Materials and Ingredients: - Saucepan/pot + Stove - Water - Eggs - Mayo - Salt, pepper, paprika, cayenne - Bowl + fork - Lime juice (optional) - Knife and cutting board - Bowl with ice water

Instructions:

Choose how many eggs you're gonna want to make, idk, maybe 6? Put them in the pot and gently fill with just enough water to cover them. Add salt and lemon juice (GTAT) to the water and heat on medium

Prepare your bowl with ice water. Let your eggs boil for about 8 minutes before draining the water and running them under cold water until they're cool enough to handle for a few seconds to put in the ice bath

Wait until your eggs are cold enough to handle for you to crack the egg shells off. I love using my hands but if it's easier to put it in a container with a lid and shake it gently, go ahead, just shake it enough to break the shell in a way you can remove it.

Once all your eggs are shelled, cut them in half the long way, (be careful they are Slippery)

Remove the yolks gently without ripping the egg white. Generally, you can just use your fingers or turn the egg upside down orrr very gently push the yolk out from behind into the bowl.

Add mayo and seasonings at your discretion. (if it feels like it's missing something, you can try adding diced pickles/pickle juice, bacon bits, dill, or mustard.) Mash together with the fork until smooth, or if you're using a lot of eggs you can use a hand mixer. Mixture should be creamy.

Gently spoon the mixture back into the egg whites. Any leftover mixture will be great on sandwiches!

Sam - Sausage Bites

Materials and Ingredients: - 1 Pillsbury OG Crescent Roll dough - Sausage of your choice, cut into 1 inch pieces (unless it's cocktail sausages, leave them as is) - 1 Egg + 1tbsp for an egg wash - Baking sheet + parchment paper (oven) - Flour - Pizza cutter (more fun than a knife) - Plate w/ paper towel - Sauce: 1/2 cup Mayo, 1 tbsp mustard, 1 tbsp ketchup + Cajun seasoning to your hearts content or a simple chipotle mayo works too

Instructions:

Make your sauce, throw it in the fridge to cool, set your oven to 350 F.

Lightly flour your counter and spread out the Pillsbury dough. Cut each triangle into 3 smaller triangles. Place sausage on wide end of the triangle and wrap it to make kind of like. A donut around it.

Place on baking sheet and add egg wash. I don't have a basting brush so I kinda wing it with whatever bright idea strikes me first. Usually I just end up using my fingers lol

Bake for 15 minutes, until pastry is golden brown

Once done, place on plate and allow to cool. Add toothpicks if you'd like, and serve with your dip.

Others (BONUS, come on guys I'm pretending like this is something people actually want to read LMAO)

Jack T. - Vanilla Latte Bars

Materials and Ingredients: - Coffee beans - Vanilla - Pitted dates - Rolled oats - Food processor - Cake pan + parchment paper

Instructions:

For every cup of oats, match with pitted dates + 1/2 a cup. (2 cups oats = 2 1/2 cups of dates). For every cup of oats, add a 1/8 cup of coffee beans. (2 cups oats = 1/4 cup coffee beans). Add vanilla with your heart. Everything goes in the food processor and gets blended.

Pinch the 'dough' between your fingers. If it doesn't crumble, it's ready. If it does, add a splash of warm water, blend again, and repeat until the dough holds it's shape.

Press mixture into cake pan evenly and refrigerate

Cut and serve once hardened

Che'nya - Cheez-whiz, pickle and mini-marshmallow sandwich Oh, context? Yeah my dad said this was his childhood snack and I wanted to be like him when I was like 5. Do not recommend. But I also don't like processed cheese.

Materials and Ingredients - White bread, Wonder bread is ideal - Cheez-whiz - Sweet pickles, sliced - Multi coloured mini marshmallows - A psych assessment

Instructions:

You don't get help with this. You know what you're doing.

Falena - Chicharrones (Like. Pork bites.)

Materials and Ingredients: - Cutting board + knife - Pork cutlet (I only need to feed myself, so a huge cut of meat isn't necessary - Salt - Baking tray + parchment paper (oven)

Instructions:

Preheat oven to 350 F.

Cut your pork cut into ~1 inch cubes, or smaller. Place on baking sheet and use a generous amount of salt to season. Mix with your hands.

Cook until you can easily pull the pork apart

I like to use a little lemon, a little homemade tortilla and some crema to eat them, but just lemon or using them to top nachos works too

Cheka - Poor Man's Horchata He just likes it more because he can set it up mostly by himself, and he can share it without worrying about nut allergies.

Materials and Ingredients - Pitcher - Water - White sugar - Oats - Vanilla - Cinnamon - Ice - Wooden spoon

Instructions:

For every cup of oats, add half a cup of sugar into pitcher (or cup for a personal serving)

Bring 3/4 full with water and add ice to bring it as high as you are comfortable stirring.

Add remaining ingredients to taste, and add sugar/water/oats as necessary

Najma - Mango with Tajin

Materials and Ingredients - Cutting board and knife - Mango - Tajin - Bowl

Instructions:

Cut your mango however you like. I typically cube my Haden mangoes, but Ataulfo I do the grid thing and pop it up

Add Tajin to your preference. If you don't have Tajin, use lime, salt and cayenne.

Neige (and the dwarves) - Tarte Soleil (higher effort snack) It's easy to share and 'sun tart' feels fitting

Materials and Ingredients: - 2 puff pastries, cut into equal size circles - Egg for wash, like Sam's - Black and white sesame seeds, (Optional) - Garlic butter (softened butter w/ garlic powder, salt, lemon and parsley to taste) - Baking sheet + parchment paper (oven) - Water - Cup/Glass - Knife

Instructions:

Cut your puff pastry so it's just small enough to fit on your baking sheet. Leave one on the sheet and put the other in the fridge for now. Preheat your oven to 350 F.

Spread the garlic butter on the circle, leaving about a half inch untouched all the way around the circle. Place in the fridge for 5 minutes to set.

Dab the edges of the crust with water and set the other puff pastry on top, gently pressing the edges together (not squishing)

Put the glass smack dab in the middle, or at least best you can, and upside down. (Do not Press.) Use your knife to cut away from the glass and make a bunch of 'rays' (easiest way is to quarter the dough, then cut each quarter into sixths.)

Remove the glass and gently press where your 'ray' meets the circle the glass made to prevent it from ripping as you twist it. Repeat for every 'ray'

Egg wash, (just like Sam's), sprinkle sesame seeds and bake until golden brown (30-35 minutes)

Let it cool, transfer to serving plate, and rip off the rays to eat.

---------------------------------------------

GENERAL TIPS AND TRICKS

If you need to melt chocolate and don't have a microwave (been there love, I know), you can use a small pot with water in it, I would say about a third of the pot is good, and a glass bowl big enough to sit on top of it. Boil that motherfucker and melt chocolate in the glass bowl, this is basically a poor man's double boiler

To clean melted sugar from the pot, there's a couple ways to go about it. I can't relax when I know there are dishes still waiting for me, so I used my kettle to boil more water, poured it into the pot, mixed it around with the fork I used, and most of it dissolved. I poured it down the sink, then used a sponge, soap and brute force to get the rest of it out. The other option is similar, where you just add fresh water to what's left of the sugar mixture, let it sit overnight, boil it again, and then dump it. (don't use cold water it will harden against the pot and be even more difficult to clean)

Some oven's don't go that low, I think the other common lowest temp is 170 F. That's okay! You can use a pair of metal tongs to keep your oven slightly ajar, just check in on it every once in a while. I use the same trick when I make meringue cookies and it works perfectly. Makes it wonderful during winter, but in summer make sure you don't overheat love <3.

You'll know the oil is hot enough to deep fry if you 1. put the back end of a wooden spoon in the oil and bubbles form around it, or 2. drop a small bit of the batter/flour in and it starts bubbling.

If you don't like bell peppers, you can shred carrots or zucchini, just make sure you squeeze and drain out the water first. You can do this with a cheese cloth or just your hands and pouring the water/juice out of the bowl over the sink. The dryer you can get it the better.

Adding lemon juice to the water helps separate the shell from the egg

--------------------------------------------------

I did this shit in like 8 hours gooooooooooooooooooooooooood I hope it doesn't flop. But if it does, I hope whoever it does reach, enjoys it, I had fun making it.

[woncon]

➳ bunnytalk

➶ bunny!jungkook x owner gn!reader ｡˚ °

-ˏ` ✎﹏ your hybrid is acting strange lately. When you're not enough to help, you call Seokjin over to check on Jungkook. The diagnosis is shocking.

➴ genre: hybrid au, hurt/comfort, angst, fluff, vet!seokjin, shy!jk

: ̗̀➛ warnings: jk is a bunny hybrid, reader is anxious bc jk's sadness

⌨ :: 2.4K words ♡ ︵ . .

⁀➷ thanks to @wonsheep for helping me fix my grammar mistakes and for giving me advice how to convert a whole story into another language precisely °♡̷•.

➳ bts masterlist | main masterlist

You ran through the aisles of the store as if you were being chased. And you really were, but the thing giving you chase had already caught up: the gray anxiety was perched on your shoulders, pressing along your joints like a sloppy masseur.

Salad. No need for a doctor, just a salad.

This was your mantra, with which you tried to control the despair, to slow down the panic that insinuated into your blood. With trembling fingers, you shoved the right products into your basket, and then you were already scrambling for the next ingredient.

Carrot, lettuce, cucumber, tomato, purple cabbage, corn - as Jungkook likes it. As soon as you had everything, you hurried to the cash register. The marble screeched under your feet as you suddenly stopped to avoid bumping into the person in front of you in the line. The man turned to you in disdain, but that was the least of your concerns right then. You had to make the salad: that was the most important thing. The fact that you were dead tired, that you did not plan on coming to the store, what you wanted to do half an hour ago, or what the guy thinks is completely negligible.

The only person standing before you in line was that guy, and he didn't buy anything other than some yogurt, bread and beer, still, you felt that the slowing factors took too long. For example, the cashier boy who scanned the products you were about to buy with a broad half-smile.

"Light dinner?"

"Yeah. For my hybrid."

Before the boy could speak - forcing his phone number into your hand, asking for a date or keeping you there with questions or more words - you stuffed the last carrot into your bag, scattering the money in front of the other.

"Bye!"

You dashed out of the store into the early evening cool, and ran home.

You hoped something had changed, but no. Jungkook was still curled up on the sofa, unmoving. Taking one look at him was enough to increase your concerns. You threw yourself into the kitchen. The vegetables were scattered on the counter, the tools clattered from the drawer to them, and the water was gurgling noisly from the tap. Your hair and clothes stuck to your sweaty skin. Fear gripped your heart like a baby holding onto its mother.

No need for a doctor. I can solve it myself.

Although you worked hard, and almost cutting your skin in your rush, the encouraging thought meant less and less, your hope faded into inconceivability with the passing of time.

"Kook? What's wrong?" The boy could always turn to you with his problems, and this turned out to be valid the other way around as well. Jungkook's wise insight and cheerful attitude have helped you a lot since you started living together. In addition to the owner-hybrid relationship, you were also roommates and friends.

When you first saw Jungkook on the couch, you thought he was sleeping. In the beginning of you two living together, the boy often slept with his eyes open, closing them only after full trust had been established. By the way, this wouldn't have been the first time that he fell asleep on the couch. But this was different. You wanted to tuck him in, and the boy's gaze focused on you, then he stared ahead again, uninterested. He also blinked.

He wasn't asleep at all.

Jungkook didn't answer. You weren't freaked out yet. Jungkook had instinctive actions and behaviors, but he was unable to verbalize them. He once summed it up by saying that in such cases the rabbit is the master, who only communicates through action.

"If you can't talk about it, just nod or shake your head." You waited half a minute. "Did I hurt you with something?"

You were about to caress his arm, but Jungkook pushed you away before you could touch him. Then you understood, something really must have happened. Not only was the boy not in the mood, he didn't want any of your company either. This has never happened before. In addition, the warning signs were lining up: him cowering, ears flattened, rejecting your approach.

The boy's rabbit self emphasized his condition. You heard somewhere - in a documentary, from a doctor friend, or maybe from one of your exes, who knows - that rabbits can be sick and depressed if they show these symptoms and don't eat.

So you, as soon as you realized, you jumped up, pulled your coat back on as you had just taken it off, and whirled through the streets to make Jungkook's favorite salad. Because if he eats, you won't have to be afraid, you would be enough to help.

The meal was ready in twenty minutes. Sighing, you headed into the living room to regulate your breathing. You couldn't know if you were overreacting or if such intense distress was justified. You were sure of one thing: how important Jungkook is to you, along with his physical and mental health.

"Kook?" You knelt in front of the couch again, this time balancing the dish you prepared. The hybrid didn't even turn to look at you now. You felt your heart cramp up. "Please." You put your elbow on the edge of the couch, pushing the plate closer to him. "Eat up."

If something didn't happen then, you would have cried. But luckily, Jungkook reacted: his nose moved, crinkling sweetly. He smelled the salad. Then his eyes searched for the source of the scent, but his hands still didn't reach for it. You already considered this a big step forward, you were a little relieved: when you put the first bite in Jungkook's mouth, you felt better. Jungkook started chewing. The sounds of his munching was music to your ears.

You didn't speak, but the more the boy ate, the more lively he became. His black ears slowly rose, and he pushed himself up into a sitting position too. Jungkook put the last lettuce leaf and piece of carrot in his mouth with his own hand. You sat next to him and watched him happily. You didn't dare to touch him yet.

After finishing the meal and placing the bowl next to the couch, the hybrid crouched down next to you uncertainly, seemingly trying to say something, but in the end he just nudged your upper arm with his nose, pushed it, then ducked under, still poking the body part. Jungkook let you know in rabbit language that he needed care and caress. You smiled, running your fingers through the boy's hair, fluffy ears nuzzling your neck as Jungkook snuggled into your shoulders, his muscular arms wrapped around your waist, cuddling close. You caressed his face, his shoulders, all along his back. The bunny grinded his teeth in satisfaction.

Everything was resolved, order was restored, you thought.

You were wrong.

Whatever was weighing down on Jungkook's soul, the problem didn't go away, the salad was merely a distraction for him. You were confronted with this the next morning, as the boy curled up in a lethargic state on the edge of the bed. Somehow you knew that salad wasn't going to help anymore here. The boy's entire body tensed up as if he was an angry stone statue.

There was no question that you wouldn't go to work. You rang your boss in your pajamas to tell him you were taking the day off. The latter reacted with complete understanding. Immediately after the end of the conversation, you called your doctor friend to come over.

"Y/N, you know it takes two for a hybrid. A doctor specializing in humans and a veterinarian. I'm only the latter. Namjoon is currently operating, so you need to wait."

"You will be enough. I can't bring Kook in. He doesn't move, doesn't speak. I think he has more rabbit-like problems."

"Okay, I'll be there in twenty to twenty-five minutes. Stay with him until then."

"I'm not going anywhere."

You did as you said. You carelessly threw your phone on the couch and retreated to the bedroom, laying down next to Jungkook. You scanned his stiff back muscles, and now you were completely devastated because you didn't know how to help. You wanted to give him at least a comforting hug to let him know you were there for him, but your approach was rebuffed with a grunt. Jungkook didn't want any of your company again.

Seokjin arrived as he promised, but for you, time was slowed down by your own grinding agony and terrifying visions. Hearing the knocking, however, time jolted back a little into its place. You jumped up and ran to the door. The man came in a doctor's coat, carrying a bag.

"Come." You grabbed Seokjin's hand, who would've protested and said something about his shoes. "It doesn't matter, just come."

You basically dragged him into the bedroom. Like a melancholic painting, there Jungkook was: in rolled up blankets, just staring at the wall. No happy colors, just gray, black and sad blue.

"Please, help him!" You dropped onto the bed, whispering your plea to your guest, who nodded and approached the patient.

"Hi, Jungkook. I'm going to run some routine tests on you, okay?"

"In this current condition, he doesn't like to be touched." You warned Seokjin.

"Don't worry, I won't hurt you." He put his hand on Jungkook's shoulder. The boy didn't react, just tolerated it.

Seokjin then checked his breathing, body temperature, and heart rate.

"That would be it, rest easy!" Seokjin headed outside and motioned for you to follow him with a jerk of his head. You obeyed. The man closed the door and settled down on the living room sofa. You sat down next to him, wringing your hands.

"What's up with him?"

"He's warm, but no fever. His heart rate is high, but that could also be from stress. I don't see any signs of sickness, but something really freaked him out. How long has he been like this?"

"I noticed yesterday when I came home that Jungkook was lying on the sofa and not moving. It's possible that he had been sitting like that for a long time. I made him a salad, then he got up and ate, but this morning he was curled up again."

"Didn't he get some sort of shock? Wasn't he acting strange before?"

You were about to say no when you remembered the past week and the incident the morning before.

"He pokes me a lot with his chin, bites me and licks my skin. Sometimes he even nips me. And after he got up yesterday, he ran around me like five times. In the meantime, he made a strange oinking sound."

You still remembered the boy's sparkling eyes when he stopped, his raised ears, his sniffing nose. His body stiffened with excitement. You didn't know how to react, so you just smiled and went to make your coffee.

And Seokjin started laughing. You stared at him in disbelief. The man snorted, still chuckling. You were about to punch him on the shoulder, but Seokjin - to his luck - spoke up.

"He loves you very much."

You knew that, you loved him too. But the way Seokjin emphasised his words somehow suggested something else.

"What do you mean?"

"You are his human owner. You act like one most of the time. To Jungkook, however, you are no longer just an owner. Biting and licking in rabbit language means a love confession. He also marked you with the scent glands under his chin as his property. And running means clear courtship. Since you didn't reciprocate that, he has to process that you rejected him, and it's hard when you're always around, wanting to touch him."

You had a revelation.

"I didn't know. If I had known - How can I undo it?"

"Why? You love him in the romantic sense?"

That was a pretty straightfoward question, but you knew the answer very well.

"Damn it! Yes! I'm head over heels for him. And yes, I do want to be with him. So how do I change my no to a yes?" All this flooded out of you: you were worried and nervous, you couldn't help it. You were at your wits end because of your own helplessness.

"Jungkook is not acting like a human right now. First, you have to make yourself understood by the rabbit living inside, only then you can tell the person your feelings. You have to become a rabbit and reciprocate the gestures with which he expressed himself to you."

Seokjin gave you instructions, then left. You were very grateful, but you couldn't express it properly yet, first you had to express something else to someone else.

You returned to the bedroom to confess to Jungkook with bunny talk. You laid down next to him again, this time taking care not to touch him with your hands, as you weren't needed as an owner or as a human. You swallowed nervously, then ventured closer to Jungkook's nape.

You bit him gently. Almost immediately after that, both of Jungkook's ears perked up, his body was tense in a different way: he was listening intently. Feeling thousands of butterflies with wings of hope in your body, you ventured further, licking along his artery. After this action, you moved away, blushing.

Jungkook sat up, facing you. His gaze was clear, peaceful, maybe a little disappointed, but mostly knowledge was visible in it.

"I love you."

"I know. Like a friend. I understand now."

"No." You scrambled to your feet, pulling him with you. You took some measurements to fit between Jungkook and the bed, moving him to the position you wanted to.

Then you ran around him several times, trying to imitate the strange sound that Jungkook also made, the kind of cooing.

When you stopped, your heart was pounding like a speeding train... Or like a rabbit hybrid who had just confessed their love.

"I love you," you whispered weakly. "I love you in this sense."

A huge grin appeared on Jungkook's face as he suddenly took you in his arms, spinning you around in the room and then finally threw himself along with you onto the bed.

In his happiness, he also did something that you as his owner and as a human immediately understood: he kissed you. Tenderly, softly, truly in love, and at the same time he held your face in the palm of his hand. As he leaned away, he covered his flushed face with his fluffy ears. He laughed.

"Kook..."

You were beautiful with a pleading blush. And your heart belonged to Jungkook.

So he kissed you again.

[spider-xan]

So this is not something I'm going to do regularly, but in anticipation of tomorrow's update for May 24, I'm just going to give a heads up to first-time readers who may want a warning that the entry will include a racist and specifically anti-Black line, as I remember some people being caught really off-guard by it last year, especially given which character says it and the nature of the update otherwise.

The point of this post is also NOT to be like, look at this evil racist character, you're not allowed to like them or you're also racist, etc., it's just for people who may prefer to know it's coming, even if it's to be expected in a Victorian novel.

If you want to know what the actual line is and the textual context for it, I've included it and some brief commentary under a cut, but there are SPOILERS for tomorrow, so click at your own risk!

Well, my dear, number Two came after lunch. He is such a nice fellow, an American from Texas, and he looks so young and so fresh that it seems almost impossible that he has been to so many places and has had such adventures. I sympathise with poor Desdemona when she had such a dangerous stream poured in her ear, even by a black man.

This excerpt is from a letter Lucy writes to Mina, the character in question is Quincey Morris, who is first introduced on May 24, and Lucy is obviously referencing Othello the Shakespeare play and the character himself.

Now, Quincey's race is never confirmed in the text, and while some people read the line as proof that he's Black, it could also read as Lucy comparing being attracted to an American as an Englishwoman to a white woman being drawn to a Black man, and you could also make a case for Quincey being white like the real-life figure he is very likely based on (William Frederick Cody, aka Buffalo Bill, who was friends with Henry Irving and thus Stoker also knew him) and context clues or mixed-race based on Stoker's other writings and his belief that having pure white ancestry was a weakness that could be countered by racial mixing (which might be surprising for him, but is still rooted in eugenics and racist ideas), but regardless of what Quincey's racial background is, it's a racist line both bc of the 'dangerous Black man seducing white women' and 'incredible that a white woman could be attracted even to a Black man' readings.

[trashcanwithsprinkles]

I love the new chaoter, but I’m having a hard time visualizing Xingqius injury. If it’s not too much trouble, can I ask for a bit more detail for that scene? Also, was it healing or uh. A full resurrection art because Qiqi can fully revive teammates at c6. Very curious about how bad it was by the time the two were in position to help him.

putting it under a cut just in case the description ends up being a bit too graphic for some (understandable) (but also it turned out a bit too long so that too)

this will all come up in the next chapter i'm pretty sure? but probably not in a lot of detail, so i see no problem in just telling you here. can't really think of it as spoilers so

(i feel like i should also preface this with the fact that i'm not a doctor, so take the accuracy and feasibility of all this as artistic liberties hahah;;)

xingqiu got slashed downwards, which means the blade entered through the lower part of his shoulderblade and crossed a good chunk of his back until it swiped off near the end of his ribcage, like this:

(the line isn't 100% accurate in placement bc i made it w the mouse but you get the idea)

the blade cut five of his ribs, a chunk of his shoulderblade, and like three discs of his spine. since it cut through the ribs, it also managed to get to his right lung, and cut open a good gash on it. as you can imagine it tore nerves and tendons and muscles along the way. now, there's also the fact that the blade used was a spiritual weapon, which means it was imbued with energy and very literal very tangible killing intent, which means it also sent a sort of… shock, through xingqiu's spiritual channels (which while not strictly undeveloped, are like still on the process of being trained if that makes any sense. he can't use any spells yet but he will soon). think of it like being electrocuted while he was at it.

so basically by the time zhongli got to him, not only was his body in shock from the pain and the fall face-first to the ground (which only made his fractured and broken ribs and spine and open lung worse), but he was also in a different kind of shock from the energetic assault from the blade to his functionally undeveloped spiritual channels. with the blood from the wound getting into his cut lung (and the pain and the shock) making it hard for him to breathe, xingqiu had been more or less on his last breaths there. if the blade hand't been a spiritual weapon he wouln't have been on death's door so quickly, but alas.

when zhongli and qiqi got there they essentially had two options: use a normal healing spell to keep him from dying and leave the rest of the tedious healing to baizhu and co. (co. here being mostly time ngl) and risk xingqiu sustaining lasting consequences AND traumatizing a bunch of them by the severity of the injury, OR- have qiqi use a direct resurrection rite, since while not quite dead just yet, xingqiu had been more or less slipping away when they got there. like normal medicine wouldn't have been able to save him basically, since his spiritual channels were attacked and those were a good part of the problem. using the resurrection rite would've not only guaranteed his surivival regardless of further treatment (normal or spiritual), but it would've also saved him from most if not all consequences and spared everyone a good chunk of the trauma (if not all of it)

zhongli didn't know for sure whether this world's baizhu used spiritual healing or just normal medicine, so he couldn't risk the first option on that front either (because while yes normal medicine would've still somewhat worked there, it would've left xingqiu with lasting consequences no matter what, and even worse consequences at that), not to mention all the other drawbacks of it too. so basically either they used a normal spell and put xingqiu's normalcy on the line, or used a resurrection rite and pretended zhongli did it to make sure everything would turn out fine

for the record, baizhu does use spiritual healing. idk if it's ever gonna come up, but he's a student of chansheng here, who is a master in one of the chenyu clans (and a human. he does also have a pet snake. unrelated lmao). since lingmeng guhua is technically a chenyu clan, that's why he gets called to these events, bc they all sort of know eachother.

anyway- i hope that made sense? hopefully that answered your question hahah;;

[ak4e7a]

hoon eating ur pussy and getting pussy drunk !!! then making reader squirt and he acts all cocky ab it bc he’s hoon

oh my god ... oh my god ... okay ... yeah ... I just fainted but I'm up now so let's get into it !!! thank you anon I love u and I love cocky hoon <3

jealous fwb hoon incoming >:)

⭑･ﾟﾟ･:༅｡.｡༅::✼✿ smut under the cut ✿✼:༅｡.｡༅:*･ﾟﾟ･⭑

you heard the rumors. you knew he heard the rumors. choi yeonjun from your econ class was planning on asking you to be his girlfriend. anyone with eyes would tell you to say yes, but anyone with a brain would suggest that you reconsider because, well, yeonjun wasn't exactly known for his loyalty or ability to be in a long-term relationship.

anyone with ears would tell you that he tells every girl the same recycled lines, anyone with a mouth has probably been kissed by him at one point or another. and anyone who knew both you and sunghoon would tell you to say no to yeonjun.

why? well, because for as long as you've been fucking park sunghoon and he's been fucking you, he's had feelings for you. he just doesn't want to confess because as the story goes, he thinks you don't want a relationship.

and you think you don't, either, because the sex is so good and he gives you aftercare after every session. but then you keep finding yourself staying over at his place after he fucks you to sleep, dozing off in his arms because you feel spent and tired and most importantly, safe.

"don't say you'll be his girlfriend," sunghoon blurts out when he comes up for air, his head between your legs. he's been eating you out for the past hour; it's the longest he's ever edged you for and part of you feels like it's a punishment of some sort. "you won't be his girlfriend, you're mine."

"what?" you gasp, your chest heaving, entire body covered in a sheen of sweat. "what are you talking–aaaaahhhhhh fuck, hoon!"

"I'm not fucking saying his name, yn, and if you wanna cum, the only name you should be saying is mine," he growls, nudging your legs open and holding them there so you can't close them around his head. you think his self-control is insane but then you catch a glimpse of him grinding his hips into your bed, clearly trying to give himself some friction, even if just by a little bit. sunghoon is definitely losing his mind, you think, but you're no better than him.

"I-i w-won't!" you cry out. "I don't want him!"

"oh, yeah? then who do you want, baby?" he asks, prodding at your entrance with two of his fingers, staring directly at your cunt with his pupils blown wide and dark.

"you, hoonie! nobody fucks me like you!"

"yeah? you're gonna be my girl?" he attaches his lips back over your clit and sucks hard as he thrusts his fingers inside you, curling his fingers up to massage at your g-spot that you're sure by now has his fingerprints indented on it. "no one will ever love this pussy as much as I do, baby, fuck, you can't take this away from me, just be mine, stay with me, I'll fucking do anything for you..."

"yes! yesyesyesyes! 'm yours!" you scream. "hoonie, stop, please, I'm, fuck, I can't, it's so much!"

"no, baby, you're gonna squirt for me so that you remember who you and this pussy belong to," he says against your wet center, flicking his tongue over your clit while his fingers move even faster and harder. "and in case your little fucked out brain can't remember, it's me."

"fuck! sunghoon!" you wail as the dam breaks and you squirt right into his mouth.

he laps it up appreciatively, humming to himself. when your eyes open, he's still between your legs, gently stroking your folds with the most smug smirk you've ever seen him wear (and you've seen a similar look on his face every time he makes you cum easily).

"yeah," you sigh happily. "i'm never leaving you."

[vagueriddles]

THISISNOTAWEBSITEDOTCOM NEW STUFF LIST !!!

(very vague bear with me this is just stuff I've tried putting in, SPOILERSSSS)

Dipper - A letter from presumably Bill telling him how to solve the book - by staring at the sun for 13 hours straight to read the solar powered ink.

Mabel - Adorns the scene with stickers :)

Soos - LONG letter from Soos to us?? Anyways Mabel is telling him what to write about and there's PINATA in all caps on the last page.

PINATA - A video of a girl hitting a Bill shaped Pinata with what's either actual Alex Hirsch or a very good impression voicing Bill's agony.

Waddles - redirects to pigplacementnetwork

McGucket - Redirected to Cotton Eyed Joe.

Ford - An xray of an 18 year old Ford's hand and a case report stating how remarkable his six fingers are, with a blacked out line at the end that goes "if I could kidnap him and bring him to our secret cloning lab." (Yikes)

Stan - redirected to brass knuckles on Ebay

Tad Strange - a video of sourdough being cut with.... oddly sensual music?

VALLIS CINERIS (this phrase shows up on the wall in the top left corner when lightning flashes) - a video of baby Bill from the book with two other triangles with a robotic voice repeating "why did you do it" (the phrase is also a reference to the great gatsby and the valley of ashes)

TJ ECKLESBURG - "NEVER MENTION THAT NAME AGAIN"

PORTAL - "PORTAL.EXE HAS BEEN DELETED. I BET YOU COULD BUILD ONE"

SEASON 3 - "SEASON 2"

SEASON 2 - "SEASON 1"

SEASON 1 - "SEASON -1: ANTI-GRAVITY FALLS"

BOOK OF BILL - "HIDE UNDER SHIRT DURING PLEDGE OF ALLEGIANCE"

Wendy - A note about a "totally legit way to ward off evil triangles on the bottom right corner of the book"

Robbie - a convo between Robbie and Thompson, before and then after which they find Bill and find out how they die? Picture included.

Gideon - Gideon singing and then saying "I love you forever mabel"

Mystery shack - Redirected to Confusion Hill on google

Gravity falls - "NEVER HEARD OF IT"

Disney - "RAT.GIF HAS BEEN CENSORED FOR YOUR PROTECTION"

Alex Hirsch - redirected to "flannel" on google

Bill + Cipher - Redirected to "jazzy triangle meets square square on youtube"

Blind eye - One of those sight test charts and it spells out "WKHBOOVHH" (leaving this to the book solvers lol)

Ducktective - "DUCKTECTIVE STARS IN 'LOVE, QUACKTUALLY' COMING TO 'OI, ITS THE COCKNEY CHANNEL INNIT' THIS FALL"

HELP ME/SAVE ME - A video of a Bill statue in a tank with an Axolotl

Axolotl - "YOU ASK ALOTL QUESTIONS"

Weirdmageddon - newspaper from gravity falls gossiper: "NOTHING HAPPENED"

Pines - "A GOOD FAMILY TREE"

Pacifica - Letter from Pacifica :)

Platinum Paz - A short story about Pacifica almost making a deal with Bill???

(Not words but other stuff if you press the screen)

Mason - a note from dipper to ford, later responded to by Ford as well talking about anagrams, there is one there as well, and ford mentions his CRYPTOGRAM CODEX

Cryptogram codex - downloads a file, I can't open it bc I'm on my phone but it has cipherfonts a and b, strange runes and 'Theraprism'

Theraprism - whatever this is

Knife - A page about the "Cipheropticon" and Bill-Hunters almanac

Skull's gold tooth - Get out of death free card!

Book - letter from Ford :) with this code on the bottom

(Also tells Bill to choke on glass)

[comingyourlugubriousness]

"Bunnies are usually Yuuta's thing, but I'll join in just this once!"

I've been working on this for a bit in between work and other things and I'm glad to finish it! I've watched the first half of the White Rabbit festival and its very fun so far. A nice little break for chapter 7's intensity! (In case anyone still doesn't know I haven't been as active lately because I have a full time job now! I'll still be making content though, just a bit slower! <3)

Voice lines Under the Cut:

Set Home: Let’s hop to it! Hehe~

Home Idle: There's so many pretty flowers here! And look, even the bushes are shaped like rabbits, how cute!

Idle 2: The history of Deuce's hometown is so interesting, I have read about the white rabbit before, but hearing the local folk tales and legends adds an entire new perspective!

Idle 3: I gotta make sure to get pictures of everyone in their outfits! It’ll be a great section in my scrapbook. Maybe I can get one of Deuce and his mom too?

Idle Groovy: -LOCKED-

Home Login:  All the ticking clocks in town make me feel a little nervous…I’m not sure why?

Tap: The ears on my costume are floppy! I hit myself in the face a few times hehe!

Tap 2: Ortho’s been taking pictures along with me, the two of us have tons of great shots! I’ll have to make sure to get pictures of him, sometimes he forgets to take some of himself.

Tap 3: Even though I think Deuce’s outfit is pretty goofy I told him he looked handsome and distinguished! You gotta look out for your homies!

Tap 4: Silver was staring so intensely at me, it kinda freaked me out! But…it turns out he just wanted to tell me my shoe was untied. Then he even kneeled down to tie it for me…He seems like an alright guy.

Tap 5: Epel kept trying to compliment my look by saying it was “cool” and “statuesque”! Is it so bad to just look cute? **sigh** I don’t get it…

Tap 6: The glasses I’m wearing are styled after the pair the White Rabbit wore. They're a little smaller than my normal glasses, but they have their own charm.

Tap Groovy: -LOCKED-

Bonus meme bc I loved the silhouette:

[as-thra]

Aslan's parents :]!!! Charlotte Astolfo and Arthur Aureus during their student years <33

aureus lore stuff under the cut!!!!

Charlie and Art stuff first, Arthur went to Hogwarts and is a ravenclaw while Charlotte's an exchange student from Durmstrang, she attended Hogwarts from 5th-7th year

Both being purebloods with family traditions to uphold (yikes) they've had their own arranged marriages since before they were even born, then they fell in love with each other and went to ask both their parents to break previous engagements only to be informed that the engagement was with each other anyway IT WAS GOING TO BE ANGST BUT THIS WAS FUNNIER OK

Arthur's a dragons nerd and Charlotte captured one for him during their 7th year . Arthur n Sully then spent the day nerding out n riding the dragon around

Charlotte's bi and Arthur's pan!!!!!

THEY ALSO LOVE ASLAN SO SO MUCH AND THEY ARE VERY GOOD PARENTS!!!! HE LOVES THEM JUST AS MUCH

aslan is so his parents' son

aslan was a very sweet baby n they loved dressing him up in fancy clothes because they think its so cute ndndke, he was easy to take care of too if you ignore the accidental magic he'd be casting as a literal infant-toddler

OK MORE GENERAL AUREUS STUFF, their line is . a literal line that can be traced straight back to midas directly, maintaining pureblood status by traveling all around the world for their marriages just to avoid incest mdnsjed

it was done in an attempt to keep their magic "untainted" n as powerful as possible by mixing a shit ton of other magical blood into theirs (am!au note: they're doing this bc a time god said so, said time god is literally evanescoed winnie just in case ppl have missed the am post ab that msndjd)

and while they were successful with that there are still consequences!!!!!! down their line they had to limit their heirs to three then two then just one because they can see how many aureus running around could potentially be Bad considering the result of their selective marriages are literal children with more and more magic to the point it was possibly destructive

like with aslan!!! he had been casting spells from the crib, grew up with so much accidental magic, it also going haywire from time to time, the chances of each spell being accidentally cast with excessive magic and Going Wrong, literally the magical rebounds that caused scars climbing up his hands and arms!!! had to get those limiting rings he always wears to prevent his hands getting fucked up further

besides that! more about the heirs :] the women in their line had always and forever kept the aureus name, they were just as valued as the men and held as much power and respect, why would you take power from your own heirs after all

Arthur's mom was one of them :] Ahilya Aureus 🫶🫶

They've also just never believed in pureblood supremacy either HELDONEB they're only doing this because a time god told them to and eventually it was wueheeueeuhe yeah time god but also its Tradition now and meemaw would be upset no one wants that

And really as long as there was a child to carry the line it didn't matter what they went on to do, lots of queer ppl in their lineage n they were all adored!!! there would've definitely been some that even ended up with muggles n muggle borns tbh

they literally do not care they just want a magic baby

anyway main takeaway about the Aureuses: Descended from King Midas the guy with the golden touch thing, kids having more n more magic output til it's literally rebounding on them, have traveled the entire world and definitely has a cousin in almost every country 👍👍👍👍

[cleromancy]

saw a post that was like. "jason probably wouldn't have ACTUALLY killed the joker if the joker had killed Bruce and jason had lived" using willis and harvey as an example and while i can see where that's coming from i do not agree at all for a couple of reasons.

firstly. jason finds out about willis's probable death in batman 410, which opens only 6 months after moving in with bruce; the 2-issue felipe plotline directly precedes the first issue of the death in the family arc, during which canonically the incident with felipe leads directly to jason being benched and seeking out his bio mom. most peoples sense of personal morals develops drastically from ages ~13 to 15, and we have direct evidence of this happening for jason whether you believe he killed felipe himself or not (more on this in a bit).

but going back to the two face incident and Willis. jason's still calling bruce "mr. wayne" at the beginning of this issue (bruce actually tells him to call him bruce *directly* before jason finds the file), and after the training montage they actually start talking about harvey after jason asks about the giant penny:

so one of the first things jason learns about harvey is that his benefactor and mentor, in whose house he currently lives, cares about Harvey as a person and believes he doesn't necessarily have to be this way. i don't think this is the main factor in Jason's decisions wrt harvey in 411, but i want to make note that it *is* a factor, and revisit it down the line.

moreover, bruce is making the case that harvey does villainous things because he's unwell, not because he's just a bad or selfish person.

this got long! cut for length.

of course we know jason at first still *does* want to kill harvey (batman 411):

this is however depicted as a very robin buildup of emotion, rather than a decision he made with a clear head and the intent to follow through. theres no indication this was a decision Jason thought through or a certainty that harvey had to die--theres no indication he even considered it before he got there and was physically facing him.

after the mission:

the thing that breaks through Jason's defensive shell is the word 'trust,' and it's there that Jason explodes and explains--and expresses how hurt he was by *bruces* actions. by *bruces* perceived lack of trust.

and there's a resolution which i'll describe and elaborate in a little bit, but this is bruce's assessment following that:

(...also worth noting that in 410 alfred adminishes bruce for comparing jason too often to "the first robin". there's evidence here jason's already feeling pressure to live up to dick's example, those high standards, or at least the version of them bruce has told him about, which almost certainly wouldn't have included that dick at one point wanted zucco dead, himself.)

and I cant post the entire sequence without running out of images, but to recap, jasons on-panel emotional progression after finding out two face killed his dad goes from shock at the discovery, stewing and fuming without telling bruce what was wrong, the furious outburst above when he and batman run into harvey, the tough guy facade, then a tearful fight where he accuses Bruce of hiding willis's death from him bc he doesn't trust him. pausing here to get into more detail on that last:

a thing you often see in traumatized/abused people, particularly children, is a conviction that any transgression will lead to disproportionate consequences, a constant sense that the rug could be pulled out from under them at any time. an invisible line they could trip over and lose everything. given his age and the complexity of the situation, jason most likely conflated a jumble of feelings here without the maturity or emotional management skills to untangle them. the ones we specifically get to see are jason feeling betrayed by bruce, angry at both bruce and harvey, and insecurity over whether hes still good enough to be robin. however, i think its reasonable to assume two further things: one, that jason hadn't been entirely confident in his place at wayne manor up to this point, and two, that he'd conflated being robin with that security. pretty clearly when jason asks if he's a washed-up robin, he's worried his outburst meant he might not be good enough for it anymore, and extrapolating further from that, hes possibly worried he might lose that level of security, of usefulness, of connection. so hes got a lot of really big, really upsetting emotions rn.

then the resolution of that fight pictured above is bruce telling jason he was wrong to keep willis's death from him, explaining his intentions, and then what you see in the above panels where jason asks for, and receives, reassurance, followed by them making a new plan of how to proceed together.

so the other thing that changes jason's mind to my reading, though this is extrapolation, is bruce reaffirming the trust between them, reassuring Jason that he has *not* crossed the invisible line that would make bruce hate him or kick him out, and jason feeling secure enough to leave that mental space of recklessness, of feeling like he had nothing left to lose. and that would be proceeds which is jason following bruce's lead as his adult guardian, with a clear head:

so summing up my thoughts on jason and harvey. 1) he's insecure enough in his place with bruce, and young enough to defer to adult perspectives on morality over developing his own, that his decision was more about following bruce's lead than the beliefs he would develop as he aged, and 2) that even when the emotions did boil over it wasn't exclusively about willis, and the deciding factor was not, in fact, "doing it because he took me away from you."

(speaking of that last point, about "took me away from you," we do also know that Jason didnt *expect* Willis to be around consistently or there for him bc in post-crisis Jason's debut issue when bruce asks where his parents are jason says that he doesn't know where Willis is but says derisively that hes probably back in prison. the consistency and presence in jasons life is key here.)

OKAY!!!! ONTO FELIPE GARZONAS!!!!!

so time has passed and now jason's the age he will be when he's murdered, either 14 or 15 depending on the version of his death certificate you go by. (i, like most people, go by 15.) either way, he's now demonstrating the maturity to be developing his own sense of morality independent of Bruce's, which we see in batman 422, when bruce relays the story of judy koslosky killing the unrepentant serial rapist who murdered her sister, and who she had baited into choosing her as his next victim:

i put a particular emphasis on this because judy's perspective is one that jason goes on to paraphrase to talia in lost days: "I didn't *'murder'* him. you murder *people.* i... ...*put that reptile down.* don't *tell me* the world isn't better off." evidently her perspective stuck with him.

with that in mind, i now argue that it is irrelevant for the purposes of this post whether jason pushed felipe or "spooked him" and he slipped. either way, we have evidence that Jason believes that sometimes a person's death, and therefore causing that death, can be the just course of action. but what i actually want to talk about is that in the case of felipe, batman 424 is ALL ABOUT how Felipe can't be touched for the rape and battery of gloria stanson.

essentially, the law's hands are tied, so batman and robin try a different avenue. the garzonases have been smuggling drugs or whatever--war on drugs propaganda not important--so theyre trying to deport Felipe for that. jason points out, "that's *not much* of a punishment," and bruce replies, "I'm afraid it's the *best* we can do."

so for the moment, Jason is focused on punishment--just retribution for the pain felipes caused to whatever degree the law and batman can deliver. he's willing to settle for that, at least up until they book Felipe and he makes a point of making a phone call in front if them to harass gloria.

and, well, then they rush to gloria to offer protection and tell her felipe was on his way back out of the country, only to discover gloria hanged herself rather than experience felipe a second time.

this is the point at which robin gives batman the slip and follows felipe to his hotel room, where we the readers witness him talking wistfully about how he'll miss american cocaine and american women. (*cough*PROPAGANDA*cough*)

again, it's irrelevant for my purposes whether Jason pushed felipe or not. what is relevant, is that when jason saw that the man they were trying to send away from his victim used the opportunity to victimize her agajn, and she took her own life as a result, jason arrived on felipes balcony. whether he intended to kill him or not, jason weighed the life of one of felipes victims against, at minimum, the potential fallout of a diplomatic incident bc Jason showed up at *all.* remember, they persecuted him on a lesser crime bc the law, and batman, can't prosecute for the one that left a woman dead. this is jason acting outside of that agreement.

the other reason we needed to talk about Felipe was bc the issue following, batman 425, has some... poorly written fallout where starlin was *trying* to show that 3 more people died bc of Felipe's death but in practice looked more like bruces carelessness/incompetence lol. but it's relevant rn that bruce made a point of telling jason that actions like that can have unintended consequences that he'd bear responsibility for. so that's a factor in play too at this point.

so to my mind, there are three major factors to Jason's decision on whether or not to kill the man who killed bruce. 1) personal hurt; "because he took me away from you," 2) the relative morality of the killer (motives, circumstances, and Do They Deserve It?), and 3) whether or not the world would be better off (which would have worse consequences, to kill them, or to let them live?)

(post-resurrection jason is a different story because lost days explicitly shows us Jason choosing not to kill the joker because then it'd be *over*; he goes on to tell talia that the world would be better off, "but i don't really give a *crap* about the world." and while we can't take him completely at his word there, because he spent the entirety of lost days leading up to that *extremely* giving a crap about the world despite his best efforts, at this point jason has made the choice to prioritize his hurt over the greater good. so while lost days jason would be less concerned with things like potential fallout because he has no intention of fixing any of the messes he made, we'll assume that the alternate Jason would still be in hero mode, and would take responsibility for them upon himself.)

on the topic of if the world would be better off, i dont... really have any interest in arguing whether Jason would believe the world is better off without the joker. he *would* believe that, full stop. where bruce told jason back in 410 to think about the tragedy behind harvey doing the things that he does, the joker... simply does not have one. by utrh *at least* jason fully believes that the joker caused pain for pains sake and filled graveyards just to fill them. and they had yet to fully build the joker up by that point to the unrepentant, uncomplicated monster that he is today, so I won't apply that retroactively, but by then he had already shot and paralyzed barbara. furthermore even if jason didn't kill the joker for killing bruce at the tender age of 15, as the jokers crimes and body count escalated Jason would be repeatedly facing *this same decision* each time. so let's take it as read that Jason would at some point weigh the joker's death against the deaths of uncountable future victims, and choose the side of the victims.

but right now we're arguing whether or not jason would kill the joker *for killing bruce,* specifically. so to be clear what im focusing on for the moment is reasons he might talk himself out of it--so, moving on to the next part of that: diplomatic immunity?

one of the reasons post-jasons death bruce doesn't rain holy hell on the joker is-- okay let me just say this whole plotline is blatant propaganda against the middle east. but if you take the conditions the story lays out at their word, Iran made the joker their embassador to the UN so he has total diplomatic immunity to any crimes committed before or after being appointed to that post, meaning he couldn't even be prosecuted, and any unlawful pursuit despite this could cause an international incident. and SUPERMAN HIMSELF comes down to tell bruce this. for our alternate Jason, we already know he's willing to cause those consequences even if hes not necessarily prepared to face them.

so recapping, jason 1) believes that killing someone can be the right thing to do if it means the world is better off, 2) was not deterred by the possibility of a diplomatic incident when seeking justice for gloria, and 3) has no sympathy for the joker in particular. *eye* think thats enough evidence, but i actually do want to go back to Jason's personal hurt re bruce and how it is presented differently to willis.

all the way back at the beginning of this post i talked about Jason's feelings of betrayal, how the perceived lack of trust was what finally made him break and tell bruce everything. this is, to me, a big deal. by contrast, we have no evidence that jason ever had or expected any kind of trust from willis; he didn't know Willis's whereabouts and assumed he had wound up in prison again without feeling the need to tell jason or catherine. willis was not someone Jason had ever had consistently in his life, and losing him to two-face was not functionally different from losing him to the justice of the state.

i do not believe the fleeting rage or feelings that he had a right to know what happened to willis would be *at all* comparable to the tidal wave of emotion Jason would feel, at this point, at losing Bruce.

"because they took me away from you."

[cringemesstickles]

Spencer Reid’s Big Secret

(Squealing Santa 2023)

Summary: Spencer Reid has a secret, and Morgan wants to know what it is.

Pairing: Moreid (Morgan/Reid)

Word count: 1,555

A/N: Merry Christmas y’all! This is my squealing Santa gift to @gaybananabread !! :D

I combined two of the prompts bc they were both too cute and I couldn’t decide :’)

I had a lotta fun writing this and I hope you enjoy it!

———————————————————

The BAU headquarters was quieter than usual, a calm before the storm of another case. In a corner of the room, Dr. Spencer Reid sat, his attention buried in a pile of books and papers.

Now, Spencer Reid was incredibly clever… there was no about it.

However, he was never very good at concealing the fact that he was hiding something. You’d think that in his line of work it would be quite the opposite, but most of the time, that just isn’t the case.

Whenever he was hiding something, he would act even more awkward than usual.

Derek Morgan, ever so observant, caught this look and couldn’t resist the urge to investigate.

“Alright, pretty boy, spill it.” Morgan abruptly confronted, palms slammed on the table as if he were conducting a real interrogation, startling the young detective.

Reid looked up with surprise before he put on a mask of innocence. “Spill what?”

“Don’t play dumb. You’re hiding something, and I wanna know what it is!”

The younger averted his eyes and Morgan swore that he saw a faint blush on his cheeks.

“What would give you that idea? I’m not hiding anything…”

Morgan wasn’t buying it. He moved closer, a playful yet determined look on his face as he circled around behind Reid.

“Alright… if you won’t talk, I have other methods.”

With that, he quickly spun the chair around to make Reid face him before making a beeline for the detective’s vulnerable sides, digging into the sensitive flesh.

Taken off guard by the sudden tickling ambush, Reid lets out a surprised yelp before loud, unrestrained laughter tumbled from his lips.

“Hey! W-What are you dohohohoing?!”

The older man gave a sly grin.

He was definitely gonna have fun with this.

“What does it look like I’m doing, genius?” He asked teasingly, skillfully spidering his fingers up to Reid’s ribs, using just enough pressure to drive the young detective crazy.

“Ahh! Y-You’re tickling mehehehehee!”

“Bingo!” Morgan said with a grin. “And I’m not gonna stop until you tell me what you’re hiding!”

The blonde squirmed desperately in his seat, trapped between the chair and his attacker. Well… he could maybe escape if he wanted to. The seat didn’t have any armrests; he just wasn’t willing to throw himself at the floor quite yet.

Perhaps he could hold out and Morgan would just give up.

“Nohohoho! Morgan, plehehease! I-I’m not hiding aNYTHIHIHING- WAHAHAIT!”

The doctor’s plea was cut off by his own raucous laughter when he felt the tingling sensations migrate from his ribcage to under his arms, one of his hot spots.

“You can’t lie to me, pretty boy! You better start talking, or I might have to take drastic measures.” The elder playfully threatened, drilling his thumbs into the tender hollows, getting an uncharacteristic shriek from the normally reserved detective.

Reid glued his arms to his sides, but it didn’t matter. Morgan kept on tickling, even with his hands trapped.

Truthfully, Morgan kind of hoped that Reid would stay stubborn, just so that he’d have an excuse to keep tickling him.

Reid’s laughter was so rare, and to have it ringing so openly was nothing short of a gift.

He didn’t even care about the secret as long as he could get Reid to keep laughing like that.

Well… okay, maybe he cared about the secret a little bit.

But that just means he has every excuse in the world to keep tickling the young genius.

Besides, the poor kid needed some playfulness in his life.

“I-I’M NOT TEHEHELLING!!”

This statement, ladies and gentlemen, was a huge mistake.

Morgan quirked a brow, pausing to give the younger man a momentary break from the tickling, but moving to grab his wrists so that he doesn’t escape.

“Not telling, huh? So you admit that you’re hiding something!”

Reid’s face flushed bright red and his eyes widened comically as he realized his mistake.

“Wait, no, I-I meant that, uh…”

Morgan wasn’t having it.

“Y’know, Reid… I think those lanky legs of yours are feeling a little left out.”

He didn’t have to say anymore before Reid began kicking his legs, pleading for mercy before Morgan even touched him.

“Nononono, Morgan, plehehease dohohon’t!” There was a nervous smile on his face, which was starting to turn a nice rosy shade.

“Oh, I think I will, since you’re sooo insistent on not sharing that secret.”

Before Reid could let out another protest, Morgan’s hand caught one of the flailing legs while the other hand began to squeeze rapidly at the kneecap.

The young genius let out a snort, his laughter taking on a boyish energy as he tried his hardest to free his leg, thrashing his entire body from the intense electric tickling sensation.

“NAHAHAH- MORGAHAHAN, T-TOO TIHIHIHICKLISH!!” He shrieked, tears of mirth starting to prick at his eyes.

Morgan couldn’t help but laugh along, not expecting such an extreme reaction from Spencer Reid.

How on earth had Morgan been neglecting Reid’s knees until now?!

“Maybe if you tell me your secret, I can make it a little less ticklish~”

The younger shook his head stubbornly. His stomach was starting to hurt from how hard he was laughing.

He knew his knees were sensitive, but he didn’t know they were THAT sensitive.

Nevertheless, he refused to give in!

At least until Morgan began scribbling over the kneecap…

“Well that’s too bad, Reid. What if I just- woah!”

The minute Morgan touched his knee with that scribbling motion, Reid let out a scream of laughter before throwing himself to the floor in a desperate escape act.

And it worked! He was free from Morgan’s ticklish clutches.

For a few seconds…

Undeterred, the older detective simply followed Reid to the floor, now able to pin him more effectively by sitting on his hips.

“Nice try, kid. You can’t escape me that easily!”

The younger man gave a childish whine, wriggling hopelessly and realizing he definitely wasn’t getting out of this until he gave Morgan what he wanted.

But strangely, it seemed almost as if Reid was enjoying himself… like he was having just as much fun as Morgan was.

“Alright, Reid. I didn’t wanna have to do this, but you leave me no choice.”

With that ominous statement, the older agent began to roll up the younger’s shirt, watching with a mischievous sparkle in his eye as he sees his victim’s expression shift from playful dread, to one of sheer panic… and a glimmer of excitement?

“Your tummy looks rather tasty, Reid. If you’re not gonna share that secret, maybe I should give it a little taste?”

Reid’s eyes went as wide as saucers and he burst into a fit of anticipatory giggles, futilely tugging at his arms.

“Oh? Giggling already? Something you wanna tell me, Reid?”

The giggling agent in question frantically nodded his head, signaling to Morgan that all was about to be revealed.

“I’m listening…”

When Reid looked at Morgan with a mischievous twinkle in his eye, he finally said…

“I’m never telling you.”

Taken aback by the sass, the elder decided it was time to unleash his secret weapon.

“That’s it! You asked for this, Reid!”

With that, he brought his face to Reid’s tummy and began to nibble at the soft skin.

The response he got was pure gold.

Reid let out the most childlike squeal before falling into bright, boisterous guffaws, arching his back out of instinct.

“OH MY GOHOHOD, MORGON, PLEHEHEHEASE!!”

Morgan simply let out a low chuckle, the sound vibrating against Reid’s skin, before he continued the tummy nibbles, making obnoxious nomming sounds which only seemed to make Reid laugh louder.

“NOOO! O-OKAY OKAHAHAHAY!! I’LL TEHEHELL!!”

The tickler lifted his head, looking at Reid with a raised eyebrow.

“For real this time? Don’t make me-”

“EEK- NONONO, I MEAN IT, I PROHOHOMISE!!!”

Morgan pulled back, giving Reid a moment to catch his breath.

At last, Reid inhaled… ready to unleash his big secret.

“So, um… you know how earlier this morning, Hotch said that somebody used all the sugar?..”

Morgan stared blankly.

Surely this was going somewhere…

Reid fiddled with his hands, guiltily averting his eyes.

“I did it…”

For a moment, neither said a word.

“That’s it!?” Exclaimed the older man, expecting more of a, well… secret?

“I used all the sugar, Morgan!”

The blonde tilted his head when Morgan began laughing and shaking his head with disbelief.

“God, Reid… you’re a mess.” He chuckled, reaching out to ruffle the younger’s hair.

Reid’s cheeks turned a rosy shade, whether it was from embarrassment or the affectionate gesture, he couldn’t quite tell.

With an amused expression, Morgan hopped up off the ground, extending a hand for Reid to take, which the doctor graciously took.

“That’s enough excitement for me for one day… I’m heading home.”

Before he left, he turned to give Reid a wink.

“Don’t worry, pretty boy… I won’t tell your oh so terrible secret.” He teased, flashing that charming smile.

Reid felt the heat rise to his cheeks.

As he packed up his own belongings, his thoughts kept drifting towards Morgan, and how maybe he should stop being so uptight all the time…

Maybe it was kind of fun laughing until he couldn’t breathe.

And maybe, just maybe… he kind of liked it when Morgan called him pretty boy.

[incorrectsibunaquotes]

I have a theory that the reason we as an audience feel like Sibuna in Season 3b are making monumentally stupid choices is because the show doesn’t actually spell out for us that the kids don’t have all the information we have. In fact, they are operating with less than half of our knowledge. (This is gonna be a longgggg post, so read under the cut if you dare)

On my latest rewatch of S3 for fanfic purposes, i found myself really struggling to justify why the hell Eddie couldn’t put two and two together with his vision of Patricia and the “traitor” in Sibuna. I was frustrated with him because to me it was incredibly obvious! Like who else could it possibly be?? But then, I rewatched it again with a closer eye and everything suddenly clicked:

We, the audience, are watching the action from a completely zoomed out angle. We’re not just following Sibuna, but we’re also following Team Evil. We know Robert is capturing Sinners and what a Sinner actually is, before Sibuna is even fully aware that they failed to stop the eclipse ceremony. The kids metaphorically tripped at the starting line.

Furthermore, this is the first time in the show that the Sibunas have not had either the upper hand or were even on equal playing field with the adults. In Season 1, the Society was wholly unprepared for a bunch of adolescents to start foiling in their plans (bc why would they be prepared for that??), and Sibuna basically destroyed them due to adults underestimating their willingness to fuck around and find out. In Season 2, Victor/Vera and Sibuna were on equal ground; no one knew how to solve the tasks and it was a matter of a bunch of separate parties trying to figure it out before each other. They were all just throwing shit at the wall and hoping it stuck.

At the top of Season 3, we play a lot with both the S1 and S2 dynamics. At first, Sibuna is leagues and bounds ahead of the adults, and then they pretty quickly end up on the same footing. Then, in the second half of the season, that entire dynamic is flipped on its head, and it’s Sibuna who are wholly unprepared for the adults. I’ve talked about how the kids, especially our Sibuna veterans, got a little too comfortable with Victor and co’s ineptitude and cocky with their own intelligence… but that’s not even why they were so slow on the uptake.

None of the Sibunas even hear the word “Sinner” until they find that book in the secret room and read it while sitting on the stage. And the book does not explain at all what a Sinner actually is. It tells them that Ammut needs “the souls of five human sinners who embody the greatest flaws of mankind” and once she has five of them she can enter the human realm and cause lots of problems. Absolutely nowhere in the book does it ever say “Also, much like Robert, the soulless body of the Sinner is reawakened in service to the underworld.” The only other hint that could have possibly clued anyone in is “when your friends are not your friends”. But like, that clue was ages ago! Why would they even be thinking about that, when it had absolutely no bearing on their hunt for the secret room/answers up to that point? I cannot stress this enough, THEY HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO CLUE WHAT A SINNER IS! (I’m gonna repeat this sentence about 400 times in case you don’t get it now lol) Mind you, that atp in the timeline, this is approximately fifteen or so minutes before Denby captures Patricia.

But let’s rewind all the way back to when Team Evil devises a plan to kidnap Eddie. He’s in the crypt, right? It’s pretty evident to him that it was probably Denby, Victor, and/or Robert who trapped him here, but he’s got no real clue as to why. Of course, we all know that they’re planning on turning him into a Sinner, because we saw Victor get turned. But as far as Sibuna knows, Victor has never really been on their side, so all they think is that he’s being meaner than usual but of course he’s opposing them. That’s not strange.

Okay, so Eddie is stuck and distressed, but he’s not as panicked as he needs to be because nowhere in his mind does he think this could potentially end in what is essentially his death. Now, throw in the horrifying vision he has of Patricia getting dragged into a glowing sarcophagus. He still doesn’t know what a Sinner is, but he knows that whatever he just saw was really bad; it’s an incentive from the Osirian spirit (or the house, or the gods, or literally whatever) to actually try to get the hell out of there.

So we’re all sitting here watching going “Oh my god they’re gonna nab Patricia and make her evil! 😰” because we have context; Eddie has absolutely none. It’s also really important for later on that his vision ends when the sarcophagus door shuts. It’s framed as incredibly final, and for all Eddie knows, they’ve just stuffed Patricia in what he knows is a tiny cramped space and locked the door behind her. He thinks that at best they are going to kidnap her or, at worst, straight up kill her. Nothing in that vision indicates she’s walking out of there at all.

When Patricia ran off after the fake messages, Eddie is concerned for a lot of different reasons, but the two primary ones are the obvious “oh my god my girlfriend thinks I cheated on her what do I do???” and the other is “if she’s run off on her own, the adults could fulfill my vision!” But then she turns back up, which should be clear to us by now means that he thinks she’s safe. He’s waiting for her (for any of them) to disappear. But when none of them do, they think it’s fine. It’s not that Eddie doesn’t think Patricia is in danger of becoming a Sinner, he just doesn’t realize what that would actually look like.

Even when they’re all in the hallway morbidly joking about having to give up sinning, the language KT uses is telling of what they think being a Sinner means: “We don’t want to accidentally help out Team Evil [by sinning].” Of course, this statement works with the knowledge the audience has of everything, but if Sibuna actually knew what they were dealing with, KT would have said something more like “We don’t want to get captured/turned by Team Evil.” The jokes they’re making are still morbid, but because they think you just get put in the sarcophagus and that’s the end of it.

Let’s flash forward again to the phonograph getting smashed and Eddie’s second vision that prompts the witch hunt panic in the first place. The vision can be separated into three parts: 1) Eddie sees a hooded figure smash the phonograph (okay Sibuna already knows someone did it on purpose, not too crazy); 2) Robert approaches him creepily and has the mic-drop moment of “it was one of your little friends; you have a viper in your nest” (seriously what a raw line of dialogue… but also now Eddie is being told that there is a traitor. Pretty cut and dry); 3) he turns around and sees every other member of Sibuna mockingly throw up the Sibuna sign (uh oh!)

So here is where people (including me!) always got a little annoyed with Eddie for not doing the math. But upon several rewatches and actually listening to what everyone was saying, never once do any of the kids ever bring up the word “Sinner” during the entirety of this whodunnit arc. And that’s simply because it’s not even a thought that crosses their minds. The language they use is very telling: “traitor” and “betrayal” being the heavy hitters. If any of them actually had context for what was actually going on, the language they would be using would be more like “victim” or literally just “Sinner” as a noun. But they don’t, which is why they’re so hostile toward one another… and why KT was screwed from the moment Eddie had that vision.

Because the fact that they don’t know that a Sinner is an evil version of themselves (not just someone whose soul is being used as a power generator), means that on a subconscious level Fabian, Alfie, and even Eddie already assumed KT was guilty. And Sinner!Patricia knew that, and that’s why she was so easily able to pivot and pin it on her. KT was directly linked to Frobisher, and Fabian and Alfie had already been suspicious of her at the start of the season for other reasons. It’s why Fabian let Patricia help him with the finger printing in the first place: because he doesn’t believe it’s her. And Eddie would have no real reason to suspect Patricia for three reasons: 1) Because he’s in love with her; 2) Because he knows just how long Patricia (and Fabian, and Alfie) have been loyal to Sibuna and to each other; 3) Because he, like everyone else, was looking at this betrayal as a willing capitulation to the Team Evil.

The first time Sibuna becomes aware that a Sinner is an entity that they have to actually watch out for walking about (as opposed to just having to watch out becoming), is after KT and Harriet manage to escape Patricia in the Gatehouse. Harriet clearly knows what a Sinner is bc she has the presence of mind to actually explain (vaguely, of course, because she’s drugged to kingdom come) to KT what she’d just narrowly escaped.

And then when she confronts Sibuna and Patricia in the hallway after Miss Crocodile Tears is telling tales about KT trying to kidnap her, KT drops the bomb on the boys: “She was trying to make me a Sinner just like her!” Pause. Record scratch. Okay. Now everything they thought they knew about the situation is completely recontextualized as something much more sinister than what they initially thought. Because I’d always struggled with how cruel they were being to KT, especially if they thought it wasn’t her fault. But everything up until this point deeply suggests or rather expects us to understand that Sibuna only had two pieces of an 100 piece puzzle, and that them being mean to KT was because they thought she actually betrayed them.

With all of this in mind, Eddie is not stupid for not figuring it out right away. In fact, without knowing what a Sinner actually is, it would be an insane leap to assume Patricia had anything to do with the phonograph.

I’ve basically talked myself and all of you in several circles, but the bottom line is the show didn’t do a fabulous job of telling us that Sibuna had no clue what they were up against. It’s easy for us to sit back and go “what the hell is wrong with them are they stupid?” because we have all the knowledge of what’s going on eons before they do. This is a far more charitable read of the characters’ choices and thought process, and the only way any of their actions make any sense. In fact, this is less of a theory and more of what is… literally canon, I guess

[gold-rhine]

for the newest ask game: fan favourite neuvillette! can’t wait to see what you’ll do <3

Headcanon: I can muster a cogent argument for why it would make more sense or make for a better story if this were the case

Okay, so. This is gonna turn into character analysis, but I think there is a huge misconception about Neuvi and the rain. People think that bc it rains when he's sad, then rain = his own tears and that being under rain is sad and bad for him, bc like. well, humans don't like crying and you wouldn't want to get showered with your own tears!

But this is completely missing the nuances of him being a hydro dragon. He LIKES the rain. He loves being under the rain. He daydreams about it:

"Some days, my mind wanders, and I fantasize about walking into the rain... *sigh* Ah, but don't worry, my flights of fancy don't distract me from my work."

And he likes to stand under the rain without umbrella and is a bit peeved that humans find it strange:

"People seem to respond to the sight of a man in the rain without an umbrella as if it were some sort of strange spectacle."

And this is his quote about weeping hydro dragon rhyme:

I don't think that the Hydro Dragon would "weep," per se. I think he just finds himself a little stirred when he gets a taste of the tears that have been shed on this land, on account of all the emotions they contain.

So taking all of this under account, I don't think rain = tears, bc he's not human and crying is not one of his natural reactions. Instead, I think that rain is just his soothing mechanism. When he's stressed, sad, overwhelmed, etc, he instinctively summons rain to be engulfed in his own element. Bc like. humans would react even more badly to the sight of Chief Justice laying face down in a lake than to him just standing under the rain.

And now Wriothesley is released and he has a line about how he saw Neuvi under the rain and put him under umbrella and I already see a lot of fanart of this being romantic etc, and I have nothing against the ship, but this specific scenario for me triggers like cute-or-not reaction of "not cute! hydro dragons like to be under the rain and covering them from it is like blocking sun for the plants." Wriothesley himself even says Neuvi looked visibly distressed, despite being polite!

So instead, consider: kisses under the rain are some of the most hot, cinematic and passionate tropes

But also: where Neuvi doesn't like being, is under the sun.

I find that the, um... beauty of bright sunlight is best appreciated from the indoors through a window.

If you bring him to the desert, he says this looks like assassination attempt. So for cute, romantic and gentlemanly gestures, consider putting him under sun parasol. And maybe sprinkling him from water bottle too.

Heartcanon: I don’t have a particular rationale for why this ought to be the case, I just like to imagine it’s true because it gives me the warm fuzzies

I already talked about how two of his coat-tails glow at the same time as his hair antennae thingies and have same coloration, and move and look differently from the rest of his coat. I like to think that he was born in standard-shaped human body and just instinctively imbued the strands of his hair and two coat-tails of his robes with his power to act like as fins and antennae he used to have in a dragon form.

Gutcanon: it’s not that I actively want this to be the case – it just unaccountably feels like it should be

okay, look at his hair.

let's be real. this hair was not brushed even once in 500 years. This is not a braid. This is just uneven strands sticking out all over the place, with the longest ones caught with a pretty bow.

I think bc dragons do not have hair and especially do not CUT hair or any body parts on purpose, he just never did it. Like, for him it sounds cutting cat's whiskers. He heard that hairdressers will cut your hair and went "Thank you, but no thank you" and just never let anyone touch it, until like, melusines gave him a bow and butterfly clips that he wears to keep hair out of one side of his face.

Junkcanon: I like to imagine it’s true because it gives me the other kind of warm fuzzies

first of all, since his emotions both manifest and affect the water around, i think it would be v fun to use as a reaction to... stimuli. i don't want to go into details to keep this post pg, but you know. storms forming out of nowhere. geysers, most obviously. a little tsunami or a whirlpool perhaps...

also, from his lines about vishaps, he says that hydro organisms are affect by the moon cycle, like the tides. so, you know, there are fun things to do with that too

Spleencanon: I insist that this is the case specifically to spite the author, because, like, fuck you, sir or madam

He should not drown when you run out of stamina in water outside of fountain. Why is hydro sovereign drowning in a puddle, hoyo?!

[ampresandian]

My (unofficial) PJO season 2 episode 5 script part 3/4 (part 1 | part 2)

I think towards the end of this section my lack of screenwriting experience becomes more apparent but I had a vision and tried to paint the picture probably a little too much so sorry if you're an actor/screenwriter and it looks/reads weird.

Images of script and copied text (bc I'm lazy and don't want to write out alt text) under the cut, just in case I didn't tag enough spoiler warning or people aren't interested <3

Annabeth Tries to Swim Home

MATCH CUT TO: INT. DARK VICTORIAN HOUSE – NIGHT. 

Continuation of first scene/flashback. YOUNG ANNABETH is still running down the hallway, but seems more determined. 

Thunder shakes the windows as she runs down a staircase. She turns a corner into a sitting room. The chairs are upturned, feathers coming out of the pillows all over the floor. A draft comes in from the dark fireplace, whistling with the storm. 

Annabeth stops in the middle of the room, facing the three doors that she has to choose from. They look the same. 

Hearing heavy footsteps, she opens the leftmost door, closing it quickly behind her. Breathing heavily, she presses her back to the door. 

Looking around the room, Annabeth finds herself in an orangery, the glass pelted by rain. Two of the large windows were cracked, spiderwebs expanding from old sites of impact. A few dead fruit trees sit in one corner. 

Through the cracks and the rain, Annabeth can see a light coming from a window several rooms down on the first floor of the house. Creeping closer, she presses her hand to the glass as she watches the light. 

In another room, Annabeth can see the CYCLOPS, but not much of the room. He lifts his arm, raising THALIA into view from the window. She struggles, and he looks to be laughing. He sets her back down, bending down himself as well (to tie her up, off screen). 

Turning from the window, Annabeth looks determined. 

YOUNG ANNABETH: (quietly) Hang on, Thalia. I’m coming.

She leaves the orangery from the second door, leading to a less Victorian hallway, one that would have been a servants’ corridor a few centuries ago. The walls look to be made of clay, and the floor is uneven in places. She nearly trips. 

Annabeth creeps through an open door, entering a dark room with a long table and walls lined with cupboards. China is smashed on the floor, half the cupboard doors open and hanging by hinges all along the room. Ahead, there’s an open door, light spilling through. 

Annabeth approaches, looking through to see a large room that used to be a kitchen, a large broken stove and Victorian era cookware off to one side. In the middle of the room is a raging fire. There are bones all over the floor. 

Near the stove sit THALIA, LUKE, and GROVER, tied up. Luke has a large gash at his hairline, but they seem mostly unharmed. Annabeth follows their eyes to see the large Cyclops in the middle of the room, near the fire. He is already looking at her, grinning. 

CUT TO: EXT. QUEEN ANNE’S REVENGE – DAY

PERCY is on deck, steering the ship through the sea. ANNABETH appears behind him, coming up from the cabin below. 

PERCY: (turning to look at her) Hey. How did you sleep?

ANNABETH: Fine. I-- (pointing) Percy. Look. 

In the distance, a lush island can be seen, meadows and forest on one side, cliffs and beach on the other. 

ANNABETH (CONT): Are we...?

PERCY: (nodding) 30, 31, 75, 12. That’s it. 

They look out at the island, closer now. Annabeth points towards a large tree. 

ANNABETH: The Fleece. 

PERCY: What’s protecting it? There’s no way it’s as easy as just going up there and taking it. 

ANNABETH: There should be... Jason had to fight a dragon in the story. It should have a guardian of some sort. 

As they watch, one of the large sheep visible on the island breathes fire, setting the grass in front of it aflame. The fire quickly dies, leaving brown grass that turns back to green and vibrant as they watch. 

ANNABETH (CONT): The Fleece must keep the island unburned. 

PERCY: So when we take it, it’ll just burn?

ANNABETH: (gasping) Percy, look!

On the beach is a small boat, just like the one they escaped the CSS Birmingham on. 

PERCY: That’s the other lifeboat. You don’t think... 

ANNABETH: (grim) We’ll never be able to get through those sheep. Sail around to the cliffs. 

CUT TO: EXT. POLYPHEMUS’ ISLAND – DAY. 

Cliffs and sea sparkle in frame. The Queen Anne’s Revenge sails into view around the cliffs, stopping at the base of them. Percy and Annabeth are on deck looking up at the cliffs, a little apprehensive. 

ANNABETH: Come on. It’ll be just like the climbing wall back at camp. 

PERCY: That’s what I’m worried about. 

Annabeth glares at him. Percy readies himself. 

PERCY (CONT): Okay. Let’s go.

Percy moves towards the cliffs, as if to start climbing. 

ANNABETH: I’m going first. 

PERCY: What? Why?

Annabeth rolls her eyes and begins climbing. Percy makes a sarcastic gesture and follows. 

Percy and Annabeth climb the cliffs, steadily making their way up. Percy mostly follows the path Annabeth takes. 

ANNABETH: Watch out here. 

Percy chooses a slightly different path at her warning. 

Suddenly, Percy’s hand slips. He dangles from the cliff by one hand. With the sideways motion, RIPTIDE falls out of his pocket, landing in the sea below. Percy looks down before refocusing on the cliff, finding another handhold. 

ANNABETH (CONT): Are you okay?

PERCY: (looking down) Yeah. Let’s go. 

ANNABETH: What was that?

PERCY: Nothing. It’ll come back. (turning back to the cliff) Let’s go. 

They continue climbing, starting back up a little slower than they were before. 

Nearly at the top, Annabeth’s foot slips. 

ANNABETH: Oh! 

She flounders before finding a foothold on Percy’s head. She rebalances. 

PERCY: Ah!

Percy tries to remain still, supporting her in spite of his surprise. Annabeth moves her foot back to the cliff. 

ANNABETH: Sorry. 

PERCY: It’s okay.

ANNABETH: Sorry. 

Annabeth reaches the top of the cliff, pulling herself over. She turns back and helps Percy up too. Percy goes to speak, but Annabeth puts her hand over his mouth to stop him. 

They move to the edge of the ledge they are on, peering down into a cavern below. Through the crack, they can see POLYPHEMUS, GROVER in his wedding dress, a large fire in the middle of the floor, and CLARISSE, tied up. 

CLARISSE: (struggling) Give me back my sword and I’ll fight you!

POLYPHEMUS: Well, bride? Should we eat her now, or save her for wedding feast tonight?

Grover flounders, nearly tripping over his dress.

CLARISSE: Bride? Do you mean Grover?

ANNABETH: (whisper) Shut up, Clarisse.

POLYPHEMUS: What is a ‘Grover?’

CLARISSE: The satyr? He’s right there.

GROVER: Oh, dear, her poor brain is boiling, you have to--

CLARISSE: In the wedding dress!

Polyphemus turns to Grover and pulls off the wedding veil, revealing his horns. Grover exclaims.

POLYPHEMUS: I don’t see so well. Not since Nobody stabbed me in eye. But you. Are no lady Cyclops!

Grover cries out as Polyphemus swipes at him. 

GROVER: Oh, stop! Don’t eat me raw!

POLYPHEMUS: (pausing, holding up a boulder) Eat you raw?

GROVER: Oh, no, I’ll taste awful! I have a recipe! I’ll taste much better grilled, with mango chutney! 

POLYPHEMUS: Mango chutney?

GROVER: Yes, yes. You have mangos right out there, in the forest. I’ll just wait here. You go gather them. 

Polyphemus considers, before turning to Clarisse. 

POLYPHEMUS: Grilled satyr. You are one too?

CLARISSE: No, you overgrown pile of dung! I am the daughter of Ares! Untie me so I can rip your arms off!

POLYPHEMUS: Rip my arms off.

CLARISSE: And stuff them down your throat! Let me down!

POLYPHEMUS: You got spunk. Have to graze sheepies now. Wedding after, with grilled satyr for the feast!

GROVER: You’re... Still getting married? 

Polyphemus looks at Clarisse. 

PERCY: (quietly, from above) Ew. 

Polyphemus gathers his sheep, throwing the door to the cave open as Clarisse understands. 

CLARISSE: Oh, no, you cannot be serious. Absolutely--

POLYPHEMUS: I come back at sundown for the big event!

He seals the cave, mumbling about mangos as he walks down the mountain with his sheep. 

ANNABETH: (exchanging a glance with Percy) Come on. I have a plan. 

(PART 4)

[wounded--machine]

I’m so late to respond bc I’m tumblr illiterate but @streetkid-named-desire tagged me to post the last 6 lines of a current WIP!! So here’s some of the current massive fic I’m working on:

The feeling was foreign to him, and so disarming he had to desperately steer his attention back towards driving. He focused on calming his nerves and sped up as they climbed closer to the villa. Back to their private fortress where the rest of the city faded into background noise.

“Survive one year with a rockstar” Kerry had challenged him. Two months had felt like a miracle. V wished he could survive eternity.

And here’s one of my fav parts of this chapter under the cut cause accountability:

Movement caught his eye, and he released the zoom on his optics to see a metal trolley being wheeled over to the table. On it was a small gray case, and when the locks were flipped open V’s breath caught in his chest. In the surgeon's gloved hands was, to his disbelief, another fully synthetic gold-chrome heart. V replayed Kerry’s prior text in his head.

Doing something about that actually, you’ll see.

And so he was. The milestone title of nonagenarian had clearly gotten to him, enough for a second heart to be amongst the seemingly endless list of upgrades. The merc guessed it was probably for the best. The heart near-shimmered under the overhead lighting, its lustrous gold standing out against the pure white walls of the theater. V had to remind himself to breathe.

He wanted desperately to reach out and touch it, to hold his lover's heart in his hands. He’d already done so metaphorically, tiptoeing his way through their many tense discussions in the dead of night. He’d soon learnt to tread carefully. Enough pressure and the dam would break, unbridled emotions drowning everything and everyone in their path. The rockstars’ signature emotional turbulence for the moment remained concealed, instead his exposed state left him looking uncharacteristically tranquil, palms face-up and vital organs at mercy to the slew of blades hovering above.

The merc felt his hand press harder against the glass as the surgeons handled the implant with methodical care, taking their time transferring it from the case and lowering it to Kerry’s chest. It locked into place, valves and wires unwinding themselves just to the right of the mans’ main heart. He watched on as the surgeons connected each tiny cable to preexisting arteries whilst the new heart sunk further into its new ribcage, slotting in like it belonged.

V wasn’t the type to be won over by grand gestures or expensive gifts. Instead, Kerry’s clear display of vulnerability deepened the twisting feeling in his gut, and he felt his own organic heart skip a beat. It was a show of trust, allowing V to see him in such a defenseless state. Exposed in all his synthetic reality, decades worth of upgrades on display. It was a moment where many inputs would likely start conflict, claiming to be outraged at how much of Kerry was actually synthetic, most of which he’d never disclosed to V.

The fixer knew his own opinions of cyberware didn’t align with the majority. Most would take issue with their partner being so heavily chipped, whether it be out of genuine concern or some misguided attempt at control. He got the impression that it’d happened to the rocker before; an input had gotten close, then lashed out when he hadn’t fit neatly into their pre-established box of what they considered acceptable for a celebrity. They’d fallen for the concept of a determined trailblazer then tried to stifle his independence when it’d made them feel insecure. He couldn’t fathom trying to govern a force like Kerry. If this was his attempt at weeding V out, it’d done entirely the opposite.