#(it's very angsty and contains a very fucked up plot line but has been very interesting to research for)

[prentissluvr]

anyways how was your day?? i saw you post a bit about in the morning hehe

yessss it was great!! i had all my dance stuff which i'm excited about! i'm just a little bugged because i can't use any wifi at the uni that i dance at and i have a total of five hours of down time in between practices that it thought i'd be able to do homework during :// hoping i can figure something out! instead i planned a fic on paper (thank god i brought my journal) and researched ptsd with secondary psychotic features for said fic ! :DDD

ANYWAYS HOW WAS YOUR DAY MY LOVE <33

[astxrwar]

📚 for the thingy 👀

Hey, here's a fun new game. Put "📓" or some other version of a book emoji into my inbox and I'll explain the plot of a fanfiction that I haven't written but daydream about.

LSKDHFJHLKSJF THANK YOU

Okay so this MASSIVELY got away from me so I'm using a readmore but. Basically when I daydream I like to come up with complex AUs that are just detailed enough to be engaging but still open-ended to a degree? That way I can basically insert whatever character I'm obsessed with at that point into the narrative if they fit like... the general character archetype and then just make small adjustments in lore if needed.

ANYWAY POINT BEING. I haven't decided who to put in this particular AU. If anyone can handle reading thru my gibberish I'm open to suggestions.

Also minor CW for like... weird relationship dynamics and power imbalance bc you know I live for that

medieval fantasy au. The king's advisor and court druid starts to develop feelings for the Princess, the king's daughter. Very heavy on the angst and internal conflict because the advisor has basically been her handler in a sense since she was, like, sixteen, and while he's always liked her and enjoyed spending time with her, it wasn't like that, yknow? Except suddenly it's her twenty-first birthday, and a peer of his leans over the table at the celebration ball to whisper some offhand comment to the advisor about how yknow, she's grown into such a pretty little thing and--

And he takes a pensive sip of his cup of mead and looks over at her in the crowd, smiling brighter than the torches lining the walls of the ballroom, flushed and laughing and wearing a dress. Thinks to himself that she really has grown up to be quite beautiful, and whoever was to marry her in the coming year would be very lucky indeed.

But something had changed, in that moment-- something that wasn't quite imperceptible to him, but seemed insignificant enough at the time that he paid it no mind. He dances with her that night, like he has danced with her at many other birthdays before, laughs and cracks jokes and pokes sharp, sardonic fun at the beady, gape-mouthed bastards who have already lined up to vy for her attention. And if maybe he has to get physical with some of them-- I believe the Princess has asked you, quite politely, I might add, to leave her alone-- but what of it? It's his job, after all, what with the girl's mother dead and the king too drunk half the time to notice anything, much less care; it had practically been his duty the very moment he was appointed court advisor.

Handle the trivial politics of royalty, contain the king's famous, fabulous temper, and mind the Princess. Somebody has to look after her.

Anyway that kind of got out of "synopsis" territory and into "mini blurb/microstory" territory but can you tell that I love examining relationships that shouldn't happen and also maybe have a massive literary boner for not-really-appropriate mentor/student relationships? >:)

From that point it's just a very slow, very angsty spiral of him rationalizing continuing to engage with her as much as he used to and her just... assuming that he's already aware she has had a crush on him basically since day one but is A Good And Nice Guy who understood that she was a sheltered teenager and decided not to act on it. Lots of building tension as she rejects a seemingly constant revolving door of suitors and complains about them to no end to him. Lots of him rationalizing continuing to be as physically affectionate with her as he's always been. Pretending his feelings don't exist. And then finally one day realizing that by doing so, he must be toying with her emotions, oh god, whathaveIdone.jpeg.

BTW the song for this is "Little Lion Man" by Mumford + Sons like specifically the chorus. "it was not your fault but mine / and it was your heart on the line / i really fucked it up this time / didn't I, my dear?"

That whole song is just... UGHGHHGHG it perfectly encapsulates the mood I want to go for which is like. "Okay I actively now realize that my behavior is not right and also going to eventually end in catastrophe because I don't think I'll ever be brave enough to make my feelings known to her, but I'm also too much of a selfish coward to distance myself from her either oh god"

So there are a bunch of scenes back to back that I'd describe to show their relationship ever-so-slowly inching towards the boundary between romantic and platonic. Lots of physical contact--I was planning on adding some druidic elements to the AU so I specifically have this one scene where he accompanies her on a pilgrimage to this great big tree that's basically seen as the center of all magic users' power. And maybe she's fooling around along the way and tries to climb up a steep part of a trail or up a tree or just. Some dumb twenty-something shenanigans and he's immediately like. Laughing. Teasing her. trying and failing to be stern. "If you fall, don't expect me to catch you."

(Spoiler alert. he does catch her.)

ANYWAY anyway I have so many thoughts about this it's such a detailed AU in my head like I even have LORE but I just. Haven't figured out what character I want to be the advisor/sorcerer dude. I was fooling around w the idea of Loki in the first thor movie? Before he was like a massive asshole, but. Idk. It's an AU so it could basically be anybody which is exactly why I love AUS like this because I can just tweak it to fit whatever character I'm obsessed with at that point.

ANYWAY. anyway. OH GOD this is so long my bad. If you got to the end congratulations and please send me requests I want to start being more active on here but thinking of ideas is very hard.

[stevebillyrecs]

Not-So-Fluffy Holiday Season Recs

Ho-ho-ho, it’s that time of the year again! Where we all drown in thoughtful gifts, family bonding, and mistletoe kisses! If you’re looking for something other than just pure fluff (like me) but still want to get your holiday season fix, this is the rec list for you. That’s not to say that there won’t be any fluff, just that it’s not the sole focus of the story!

Included: Christmas, Thanksgiving, and New Year’s Eve fics containing family drama, smut, heavy plot, or just some good ol’ angsty pining. Also, still a whole lot of fluff in between the non-fluff. Not included: Fics about any other, especially non-Christian holidays… because I couldn’t find a single one. Sad!

24 fics under the cut!

mistletoe and other holiday propaganda by brawlite / @brawlite & ToAStranger / @toast-ranger-to-a-stranger (54k, E)

Everybody wants something for Christmas. It just so happens that the only way for everyone to get what they want is for Billy and Steve to pretend to be dating over Christmas break. It’s really the only option.

Yule Shoot Your Eye Out by eternalgoldfish / @eternalgoldfish (3k, T)

Steve moves to Indianapolis to avoid Hawkins, but Billy doesn’t get the memo. Now it’s Christmas, they’re snowed in at work, and Steve is giving up on holidays. Merry Christmas, I could care less.

been crawling series by kate_button / @un-buttoned (8k, E)

The crop top was right there on the main aisle in the women’s section. Steve’s not entirely sure, like, why it exists, but he’s not disappointed about it. The rest of it came together pretty quickly (and cheaply) after that. So anyway, that’s how he finds himself drinking jungle juice out of a red solo cup looking like the twenty-two-year-old-man version of Karen Smith, animal ears and too much skin, bada boom, costume. I’m a dog. Duh.

You Get the Mistletoe and I’ll Be Your Santa, Baby by LazyBaker / @granpappy-winchester (2k, G)

Steve’s looking at him and Billy’s wearing Steve’s itchy and warm handmade I love you sweater, looking right back. They’re sharing a blanket.

nothing is finite (in the evening light) by Philosoferre / @babyhargrove (22k, T)

“It’d be convenient,” Billy adds. He’s looking at Steve expectantly, but he’s still a little guarded. “And, uh. Road trips, you know. They’re supposed to be fun and shit. Don’t make this a bigger deal than it is, Harrington.” Steve finds himself smiling; he doesn’t bother trying to hide it. Billy narrows his eyes curiously. "Sure,” Steve says. Or, Steve and Billy go on a road trip to Hawkins for Christmas break. Both of them might be very much in love.

If You Kissed Me Now by socknonny / @socknonny (1k, T)

When Steve kisses Jonathan under the mistletoe at the Byers’ Christmas party, it’s only for a joke. But for some reason, it sets Billy off, and Steve won’t leave him alone until he understands why.

Christmas in the Benz by flippyspoon / @flippyspoon (6k, E)

Steve escapes a crappy Harrington Christmas only to find another crappy Christmas refugee.

Under the Moon by ImNeitherNor / @imneithernor (3k, T)

“Hargrove?” The voice yanks Billy back into the present and he stands up fast enough to make himself dizzy. He blinks twice, shifts his boots in the snow, and looks over to where the voice had floated from. Standing in his Members Only jacket with that fucking bat over his shoulder, Steve looks at him like he’s seen a ghost. Billy clenches his fists and notices how Steve’s eyes trail to the blood on his mouth, the blossoming color on his cheek. “You’re bleeding,” Steve points out, like Billy doesn’t know that. “Really fucking observant, Harrington,” Billy curls his lip up and flicks his tongue out, over the split, and Steve’s eyes follow it like they always do. It’s a visceral thrill up his spine but anger eats it up. Steve is off limits and, as much as Billy wants to lick into his mouth and feel those lean muscles against his own, he isn’t stupid.

I don’t want a lot for Christmas by r0nj4 / @a-station-on-your-way (1k, M)

Steve buys a Christmas present and has mixed feelings about it.

well damn, billy, i can't control the weather by obsceme / @hartigays (7k, T)

narrator: and there was only one bed all of us, collectively: (gasps) and there was only one bed

Last Christmas by shocked_into_shame / @bornwithoutsin (2k, E)

It’s Billy and Steve’s first Christmas together, and Steve will not stop singing that fucking Wham song. Billy doesn’t mind, though, because Steve agrees to make it up to him.

Thankful For by ChrisLeon / @vgorodye (8k, NR)

The ad read: ‘No one to bring home for the holidays? Looking to piss off your parents? I’m your guy. 22 y.o. ex-con, never graduated high school, proud owner of a Camaro one year younger than I am. I can play anywhere from 18 to 29 depending on if I shave or not. Currently working as a line cook and late nights at a bar. If you’d like to have me as your strictly platonic date for Thanksgiving, but have me pretend to be in a serious relationship with you to torment your family, I’m down.’ Steve knew it was bad idea. He clicked on it anyway.

Five Days (To Midnight) by Blink_Blue / @winters-blue-children (7k, E)

It's been months since Steve left Hawkins and walked out of Billy's life. He's back for the holidays and Billy gets one last chance to make things right. They have five days together. Five days left of the year. Five days to cherish.

Time after Time by lemonlovely / @lemonlovely (10k, E)

“Really, Harrington. Stop avoiding the question. Tell me.” Those blue eyes flashed like an animal's in the dark depths of the Camaro. He repeated himself, enunciating like Steve was particularly slow. “Why. Would I have seen. Your wallet?” Steve glared down at Billy, feeling like they were caught in some kind of a staring contest that he hadn’t actually initiated, but also didn’t particularly want to lose either. Which seemed to happen a lot when he was around Billy – and that hadn’t been a lot for a few months. He’d been avoided like the plague, or maybe it was the other way around. Jesus Christ, apparently Billy was really gonna make him say it, as much as Steve didn't want to. He grit his teeth together. “Because.” Steve said. “I think I might have left it in…the backseat of your car. You know. That night. And I need it back.”

Deck the Fucking Halls by XxmerthurcatxX / @callmelilyshameless (700, T)

Billy hates Christmas but he loves Steve.

Mountain of Dreams by socknonny / @socknonny (1k, E)

Steve's drunk, and someone is singing.

Rivers 'Til I Reach You by tracy7307 / @tracy7307 (10k, E)

“I know lifting's a bad idea but I’m feeling.” Shame twisted up in Billy’s gut, and he toyed at his lasagna with his fork. “I don’t feel as. I don’t know. Confident.” His muscle mass was not as bulky as it used to be -- his abs and biceps just a shadow of what they once were. He had a soft little belly now. And then there were the scars. Dark pink floral patterns of scars all wound over his back, sides, and abdomen. Suddenly the thought of shirtless summer weather struck dread in his heart. For now, long-sleeved henleys and sweatshirts provided the perfect way for him to hide. It was literally the only time he’d been thankful for winter. “Hey,” Harrington said from across the table. He paused until Billy looked up to his eyes. His tone grew delicate and serious. “I’m not fucking around, okay? You. Look. Good.” And the way that Harrington looked at him -- brown eyes soft, his gaze lingering on Billy’s face. On his eyes. Well, maybe he meant it. “Yeah?” Billy asked. He felt his face heating. “You think so?” Harrington took the last bite of his lasagna. “Definitely.”

I Play Along with the Charade by moonflowers / @eatingmoonflowers (7k, T)

Billy'd been keeping an even closer eye on Harrington after that night at the Byers' - only natural, right? Thing is, watching and wondering never was enough for Billy.

in the wilderness life becomes by lymricks / @lymricks (3k, T)

Back in Hawkins for a winter break, Steve and Billy remember what it was like and learn about what it could be. Or, three old memories of Hawkins and one new one.

Bah Humbug, Billy Hargrove by LaVeraceVia / @laveracevia (14k, E)

“It’s okay, Billy. You’re not in any danger. No one can hear us,” Harrington says, and something about his tone—it’s not right. It’s too calm. Too…what? Certain. It’s too certain. Steve Harrington doesn’t talk like that. He means to say are you fucking high?, but what comes out instead is, “Who are you?” “Would you believe me if I said I was your guardian angel?”

merry christmas (i don’t want to fight tonight) by gothyringwald / @gothyringwald (1k, T)

Billy stands alone by the wall, beer in hand, a string of lights twinkling cheerfully above his head. Across the room Stacy Brent corners Steve under the mistletoe, pointing at it with one artfully manicured nail and smiling suggestively. His stomach turns and his blood heats. He chugs his beer, wipes his hand over the back of his mouth, jaw clenching as Stacy leans in.

Tell me, baby by socknonny / @socknonny (2k, M)

Steve finds Billy chopping down the worst tree in the entire Christmas Tree Farm.

A Love Thing by tracy7307 / @tracy7307 (2k, E)

Even five months after recovering from his injuries, Billy still has residual effects from the mindflayer. It's Christmas. Steve wants to help.

Happy Holidays From Your Least Favourite Homosexuals by bry0psida / @bry0psidawrites (1k, T)

Steve's family haven't had any contact with him since he came out as bi. He gets wind from Robin that he's being excluded from the family Christmas Card. Billy has the solution.

[gideongrace]

Talking amongst ourselves - fanfic writer interviews: @ihni

(Originally, these interviews were done more conversationally, but this interview is a LONG one! So I edited it down for tumblr. You can read the whole unedited, uncut interview over on a03! There are pictures involved. :)

Please say your first name, your age, your pronouns, the fandoms you write for and provide a link to your a03. You can also mention your sexual orientation or other details, if you'd like.

 Ihni:

My real name is Moa, but I go by Ihni online. On AO3, I have an account under Ihni (https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ihni) but that's for rhymes (and doodles). I only wrote rhymes/poetry for a long time, and when I started writing fic, I wanted to put that under another pen name. I was NOT comfortable writing stories for YEARS. Now, though, I don't care. So, I write fics under the pen name Thei (https://archiveofourown.org/users/thei/).

It's all Stranger Things, these days. Harringrove (because I love the fandom and I like the two of them interacting) and Billy-centric (because I love his character, SO MUCH).

I am ace and aro, so my fics tend to not contain any sex (I have ALLUDED to it a couple of times, but that's basically as far as I go). I am also just as happy to write fics without any romantic or sexual relationships at all. Billy and Steve can be buddies only, as far as I'm concerned.

How do you feel about being aroace when so much of fanfic is all about romance and sex?

Ihni:

I live by the tried and tested rule of "don't like, don't read". 

There is a lot of romance in our fandom, for sure. But it's not like it's lovey-dovey IN OUR FACE romance, you know? 97% of Harringrove fics are two dumb boys who are bad at communication and who can't deal with Feelings. And I fucking live for that! Also, even the lovey-dovey fluffy romance stuff is cute, when it's them. I may not want a relationship for myself, but I don't mind at all if the boys are in one! (If they want it, they deserve it <3)

And as for sex ... well. I can read about sex, if it's well written or if it furthers the plot. If it's too graphic, I tend to scroll past it though, or just skim through it. It doesn't... give me a lot? I guess. Like, it's not like I read "smut" in the tags and go "oooh I have to read this!" - rather the opposite, in fact. I can read it, but it's not something I actively look for, and when I stumble upon it, I don't always read all of it. If I know the writer, I'll probably read through it to honor their work, though.

I just won't ever leave a "omg that was so hot!" comment! XD If someone expects that from me, they'll be disappointed (and I'm constantly terrified of disappointing or offending people for NOT commenting on their smut).

Basically, I am the master of my own fandom experience, and if something makes me uncomfortable I will keep away from it. Simple as that.

More people should live by that rule.

What's your writing process like?

 Ihni:

Uuuuuuuugh.

That's an interpretation of my writing process.

No, but.

I usually get SUPER INSPIRED to write a specific scene, or concept... and THAT part goes well, but then I have to build a STORY around it, and that takes SUCH A LONG TIME and SO MUCH EFFORT!

And also, usually, it gets out of hand.

I usually have to force myself to get the words in, honestly. And also, I get real tired of what I'm writing, real fast. So I have to force myself to finish (I have a few WIPs that are more than a year in the making...) before moving on to other things. (And I usually write the other things inbetween, anyway.)

I get easily distracted, when I write. Like, actually sitting down and writing takes an hour and a half. Then I MIGHT write for like twenty minutes, lol.

Cold Turkey Writer was a godsend XD.

If I have internet on while I'm writing, not a lot will be written, let's just ... let's just say that.

How do you edit?

Ihni:

HAHAHAHAHAHAA

Erm.

Well.

Sometimes, I read through it once, and change a few things, and let that be it.

In a couple of cases, for the longer ones, I have actually made an effort to read through it more than once. (The problem being that by then, I'm so sick of it that I will skim through it just to get it over with.)

A couple of times, a friend has read through it for me, and given me pointers. Which is VERY HELPFUL! But they've offered to do it for me, I would never ask it of someone.

And about the editing process ... I check for spelling mistakes, or when something sounds wrong, or looks wrong ... and then I fix it, so it looks and sounds better in my head. I don't know. That's editing, right?

What fanfic authors do you admire?

Ihni:

In the Harringrove fandom, I have to mention LEMONLOVELY, because I'm in love with the way she writes Billy, and the way she's shaping her fics as she goes, and the way her attention to detail brings a whole mood (I am OBSESSED with her "Words Left Unsaid" fic, and am probably that fic's biggest fan).

LYMRICKS, because fucking hell, they sure can write a fic that draws you in. There's something about long sentences in combination with short sentences that really makes them easy to read, and the language is like a punch to the gut, at times.

CALLIEB, because I love their stories and I'm currently following "Second Thoughts" and I love how they write everyone like ... like they're holding their breath, waiting for something.

And I'm not even gonna mention any others by name because I'm terrible with names and I'm bound to forget someone and I'm just, I don't want to do that. Our fandom is full of talented writers, and I just. If I've commented on your fic, I read through all of it and I liked it. If I haven't - well, I HAVE been writing more lately = less time to read, and I have like 100 fic tabs open on all of my devices ... I hope to get there, some time!

In other fandoms, let me mention PeaceHeather (for how they write Loki and that world), aloneintherain (such good whump!), isaDanCurtisproduction (the absolute best Spideypool!) and gaelicspirit (who writes lovely angsty whumpy Musketeers fics). Like. Just to mention 0.01%, or something.

I don't think any of them, particularly, have impacted my style - because I don't HAVE a style - but I soak up every word of every fanfic I ever read, and if one sentence is a particularly pretty string of words, I will copy & paste it into a word document that is now 170 pages long, or screenshot it to keep it forever. ❤️

Words. <3

What's your favorite story of yours?

What's your least favorite story of yours?

What's your favorite line you've ever written?

Ihni:

Like, in what SENSE? Even though I know my writing isn't up to par, they're still my babies. Still my creations. I love them in different ways! Like. I love "Coming Back" because it was the longest I had written back then, and it's probably the one I am most pleased about, writing-wise, and it's also the one I went through and edited the most. So it feels like the one I worked the most on.

I love "Toy Soldiers" because it was a totally self-indulgent piece of writing that I wrote for the joy of it, and because I wanted to read it and no one else was about to write it for me.

I love "About Apologies" because something about it pleases me, it was an experiment that didn't fail, and I like it more and more with time.

I love "Less of a mistake, more of a miscalculation" because I had fun while writing it, and it turned out kind of like I wanted it to, plot-wise.

I love "Actions and reactions", because I had no idea what I was doing back then, but I still did it, and somehow it got long and I still don't know how that happened.

And I realise that this makes me sound a little self-centered, but I worked hard on them. I love them, even if they're my ugly and imperfect babies. And even if I cringe if I re-read certain parts XD

I guess my least favorite story of mine (and I'm guessing we're talking Stranger Things things here?) is "Not unusual" because a) I never re-read it and b) it was the start of something that I have to actually FINISH at some point and ugh, that was not the original plan. If we're talking least favorite stories in all fandoms, then definitely "In which there are mistakes made", which was a Teen Wolf fic, and the reason why I don't do WIPs anymore. The last chapter was written simply to fucking END it, and ugh, I hate it.

The favorite line I've ever written ...? I don't know. Are we talking in fic? Because I write my best stuff in comments, honestly. :p I don't think I have an answer for that one, actually. Sorry :S

What part of writing is easiest for you?

What part of writing is hardest for you?

 Ihni:

Easiest? Dialogue. I like dialogue. Like, as a non-English speaker I can at least imagine a plausible exchange of words, and banter, and make it sound somewhat realistic, I imagine.

Hardest? The rest. Like, some people are just fucking WIZARDS with words, can write these long descriptive sentences that perfectly sets the mood for when a character gracefully moves across the room ... whereas I am just, "He stood up and walked over. End of fucking story."

What do you do when you're struggling for inspiration?

Ihni:

Give up?

Or do something else.

Or go and read. (That's basically the same as giving up.)

Or, if I'm still writing, I go to another part of the story and write THAT, and hope that I'll feel like connecting the two pieces, later.

Inspiration is a bitch.

Who introduced you to fandom and when?

Ihni:

Oh god. I am old. I don't remember. 

I started writing stories when I was real young, and I was always reading something. I started writing stories with my friends when I was a teenager. Then we discovered the internet (yes, this was around the time when we got internet access in school and at home, told you I was old!) and when doing that, I guess we found more like-minded people.

Fanfics ... weren't an organized thing, back then. But I've been reading them, and been in fandoms, ever since I discovered that there were people online who liked the same things that I liked.

I would say, actively, from maybe around 19-20 years old? Like, that was ACTIVE fandom-ing.

What is your advice to fellow writers?

How often do you jump between fandoms?

How long have you been writing?

Ihni:

As a WRITER, I am not the best person to give advice to writers, I think. I'd rather TAKE advice than give it, at this point.

As a READER, my advice is to WRITE, WRITE, WRITE, because you are doing a good thing and you are creating a version of a world that is yours, versions of characters that you can shape into anything, and SOMEONE out there will love you for it (probably me).

I jump between fandoms ... hmm, as a WRITER? Seldom. Billy's my jam and I'm not moving.

As a READER? All the time. I mean, I'm pretty deep into Harringrove and Billy and Stranger Things, but sometimes I need something light-hearted, and then I go back to some of my basic fandoms, and read something else. I will never run out of things to read. 

❤️

And how long have I been writing? FOREVER. I wrote when I was young, and thought I was going to be an author (wrote in Swedish, back then). Then I wrote when I was a teen, for fun. Then I stopped writing. Then I started writing rhymes, in English, because it was a craft I could do and train in, and it was short pieces. And only in recent years (very recent), have I started writing fics. And now, I write long-ass fics in English, so I guess I have at least come a long way!

Why do you write?

Ihni:

...

I just sat and stared at the screen for a good ten seconds.

I'd say that it differs.

Sometimes, I write because I want to READ something and no one has written it (or is going to).

Sometimes, I write because I want a very specific thing or feeling, and it doesn't exist yet.

Sometimes, I write because I am inspired.

Sometimes, I write because I want to.

Sometimes, I write because of a deadline.

Sometimes, I write because there's something in my head that Won't Leave Me The Fuck Alone until I get it out.

Sometimes, I write for fun.

Sometimes, I write because I want to hurt.

Sometimes, I write because I need to.

Sometimes, I write because I want to become better at it; learn; reach towards the writers whose work I love.

And sometimes, I just sit and stare at a document, don't write a single fucking word, and go watch a movie instead.

[evangelene]

Despite What You Are (4)

Summary: Vampires don’t feed on blood, they feed on fear. So, why is yours so potent? Why were you saved by the most dangerous of all vampires–Kim Namjoon?

Based on this request:

“Can i ask for a ff where namjoon is a vampire mafia boss and has a spft spot for you. And you get into trouble woth a rival gang and he goes crazy? Fluffy and angsty 🌹”

Part One / Part Two/ Part Three / Part Five

“So, what do you think?”

Seokjin stood proud, as if he had just made the discovery of a lifetime. In reality, all he had really done was walk outside to find a shed that looked far less like a livable plot of land and more like a busted maid’s quarters from the expired centuries past. Once more, you were infinitely curious as to what sort of complex this place had been before the War of 2048.

It didn’t help that the shed/hillbilly-cannibal prep station was surrounded by a thick grove of trees that shouldn’t be there but were anyways.

Kind of like you.

Funny how one could relate to some moss, bark and leaves.

Despite the lackluster appearance of your soon-to-be hospital, you couldn’t really complain (much). After all, you were finally allowed to go outside! How great!

It would have been nicer if you didn’t have to have a guard within arm’s reach of you at all times. Oh, and you definitely weren’t allowed within twenty feet of the story and half tall fences—despite them being stronger than a vampire and capped with barbed wire.

Apparently, one of Jisung’s gang (clan? You guessed it was a clan now?) had the ability to teleport.

They wouldn’t tell you what Jisung’s ability was though…probably because he didn’t have one before he walked out and became clan leader.

“It’s just a small clan. They will be crushed easily.”

The boys had tried to persuade you, but there was something entirely unsettling about how absolutely quiet Namjoon had been in the corner, his eyes lost in space somewhere out the window.

Comforting, especially to a human who jumped when the wind rustled the leaves in the trees a bit too rough for her liking.

“Y/N.”

You jolted your attention back to Seokjin, giving him the weakest yeahtotallywasn’tscaredatall smile you could manage. “It’s great.”

With a deep sigh and a roll of his eyes, he yanked open the door to the shed; it look like it required muscle—even for a vampire (you blamed it on the fact that nature looked like it had tried to glue it shut with some unholy substance). “Just take a look inside, would you?”

So…the inside was even worse than the outside, which was saying a lot since the roof looked like it was about to slide off the structure entirely. As you stepped up, you were surprised to find that your foot didn’t immediately crack through the rotting wood; however, that didn’t prevent you from having to hopscotch around already existing holes, rat shit, and poisonous smelling black mold. The place itself was dusty and unkempt to the point that it screamed “disease.” But, you know, you were fine with it.

As far as you were concerned, it was far enough away from the main complex building and it wouldn’t allow any vampires to access any of the fear you may exude.  Another plus: it had a sink so Seokjin could like…you know…sanitize things? You didn’t really know much about medical shit, which was probably why you were on your deathbed months ago.

Yay for you being a helpful and self-sufficient human being.

“I mean, we can make it good.”

Seokjin chuckled. “Of course I will make it acceptable. I am aware of how easily humans fall ill—I won’t allow it to be anything but sterile.” You sent a look over your shoulder that had Seokjin frowning. “Are you doubting my abilities now, of all times?”

“I’ve seen you heal, not clean. Besides, what are you going to do? Vacuum the spores from the air?”

“It will need to be aired out for a bit anyways—speaking of that, you should probably get out of there for now.”

You were on the same level as a feline and therefore gave no fucks for the vampire who could easily yank you out by your pinkie if he so chose to. Instead, you used the sleeve of your sweatshirt to dust off the one and only table in the shed; surprisingly, the furniture itself wasn’t nearly as compromised as the actual foundation of the building.

“Y/N. Out.”

“Woof.” You glared at him from your musty seclusion, slowly parkouring your way back out the door and onto semi-solid grass.

He seemed to age in that moment, even though vampires really…don’t…they just kinda die looking hot and young and shit. How nice. You blamed it on the poor man having to deal with your constant bullshit.

But, then again, if you had to listen to his puns then he had to put up with your tantrums.

“So it’s just going to sit there for a week or whatever while you guys go off and do your dangerous top secret mission?”

“Pretty much.”

“You know, I really hate secrets.”

He let out a bark of a laugh, his hand placed between your shoulderblades in order to guide you forward—well aware that you’d already taken a spill once already (stupid tree root) and had a 99.9 percent chance of repeating your mistakes. “You’re one to talk with the one you’re keeping.”

“He keeps far more than I do. It’s not fair.” You frowned at the ground, keeping your gaze cast down in order to prevent a sequel to the greatest fall of the century. “I prefer transparency; I’ve had enough secrecy in my life.”

“You are still useful, Y/N.”

A shudder ran its way up your spine.

“He has reasons for keeping things from you. You are not ready to see him feed; you are not ready to learn what he does when he’s away from you. The missions he does--the business he conducts--you are far more fragile than we are.”

“I’m not a fucking flower.”

“Physically, you may be able to handle more than we suspect; but, do remember, you had just jumped out of your skin due to naturally occurring wind. Would you be able to hold yourself back at the visual of a human being tortured in front of you?”

You pressed your lips into a line.

The tip of the tree hung down from his chest, broken by the impact of his body crashing backwards into it—despite the thick material of his vest and jacket. Human bodies contained so much blood, why didn’t you ever realize that before?

“So?” You dug your nails into your palms. “If it concerns me, then why can’t I know these things? You all are no better than humans.”

“You’re insulting yourself.”

“I’m good at self-deprecating humor.” You sighed, dropping your defense mechanism for the moment—but only the singular moment. “You know what I mean.”

“I do. Sometimes, your own species can be your worst enemy.”

There was a prolonged pause between the two of you, both of you walking in tandem but somehow still so far away from the other that you could have been on different planets.

“Part of me hopes that you’ll fail.” You murmured. “Part of me would rather go out like that—no pain and put under anesthesia. It’s easy. And then I wouldn’t have to…I wouldn’t…”

“There are bigger secrets you’re keeping from him than this one.” Seokjin didn’t word it as a question, as if he already knew everything swimming around the stagnant pool of thought in your head—he probably did. You briefly remember someone mentioning that he grew up with humans.

It wouldn’t surprise you if his emotions developed in a similar fashion to your own.

“I started to become more human being surrounded by vampires. Is that weird?”

“Yes.”

“It’s a rhetorical question you asshole, let me finish.” But he was repressing his laughter and you were huffing on a smirk as you cleared the trees. “I don’t want to feel those things anymore—I don’t want to remember what it’s like to be human, not when nothing good can come of it; not when there’s a chance I could lose it.” You paused at the door to the compound, soaking in the rays of sunlight while you still could. “Promise me you’ll bring him back safe.”

“He’s stronger than any enemy we could face out there, Y/N.” But he didn’t promise you, and that alone was enough for your stomach to constrict in the most unpleasant way. You could feel Seokjin’s gaze on the side of your face as you closed your eyes and faced the sun. Part of you hoped that the sun would smite you where you stood so you could escape everything—however, while you were fearful of living, you were even more terrified of death. “You love him, don’t you?”

“Denied.” You murmured without a second though, the metaphorical doors to your heart slamming shut so quickly it almost felt like you were shot point-blank in the chest. “I refuse to love something that can’t love me back. I can’t lose anything more in this life. I can’t lose him, and I can’t tell him that I can’t lose him. I can’t love him, and I can’t tell him that I can’t love him.”

“You are overcomplicating things, Y/N.”

You opened your eyes, squinting through the sun to meet Seokjin’s gaze. “I think that’s the one thing I’m truly good at.”

~.~

Namjoon refused to explain any part of his “mission” to you. And yes you totally put air-quotes and a stupid face to the word mission. To you, it seemed like bullshit; to you, it seemed like he was out doing the very same things that the human hunters did. To you, it seemed like he was keeping secrets and pulling strings behind your back.

To make matters worse for your worried and easily annoyed heart, he had to take all of the six with him.

Well, originally he had planned on leaving Taehyung, Hoseok, or even Seokjin with you—but, upon your inquiry of just how damn dangerous his stupid idea was, you forced him to have his entire crew by his side. You remembered how quickly his expression had darkened, the impassivity to his gaze that had you wishing that you could read his mind like he could read yours.

Idiot.

Then again, he probably just called you a bunch of terrible names in his mind just like you did in reference to him.

Despite your energy and your lack of understanding, you tried to be that™ person; you tried to be that™ supportive girl that stood by her loved person, waving them off with a handkerchief and tears glistening beautifully in her eyes. First off, you were never graceful in anything you did, and the old movies would never be you; that™ person would never be you.

You were too much of a salty, bitter hag. Salty because he wouldn’t tell you what he was going to do, nevertheless where he was going to do this mystery action; even saltier still because whatever incredibly dangerous thing he was going to do could be the end of him and, even in your anger, you wouldn’t be able to take not knowing where he went or what happened to him.

So, like the woman you were, you resorted to pursing your lips at him from the corner of the room as he gathered his things. Part of you wanted to see his face in case you forgot it, but the stronger part of you said that your actions were out of spite rather than anything else. You damn well wanted him to know just how pissed you were. Subtlety? You don’t know her.

“I can still leave Taehyung here with you—I…I don’t trust the others here with you.”

“Jiwoo’s here. I’m fine.” You grunted, arms tightly crossed over your chest.

“She doesn’t have any abilities. Taehyung could at least—“

“Namjoon.” There was something exhilarating about the power you had over him when you simply said his name—it was almost enough to dissolve your anger…almost. “Yoongi and I spoke about this when I said I wanted them all with you—he agrees that she has a hell of a survival instinct and an even greater protective streak. I will be fine; I’m locked up to holy hell in here anyways.”

Honestly, you remembered how quickly that conversation had went—Yoongi had offered her to you without a hint of hesitation. It was almost as if he didn’t care that his mate could possibly die for you if the situation arose. And here you were, with a mate who didn’t trust you with a fucking spoon.

You were sure your face was going to gain permanent wrinkles from frowning so intensely.

“You’re angry, why?”

Leave it to the vampire to be blunt.

“I’m not.” Yeah, Y/N. Good job. Continue to sulk like an absolute child because, of course, maturity is for LoSErS.

“Sure, but if I accept your words at face value then you will only become more angry. I am not stupid to you at this point. You’ve been here for over a half a year now.” He sighed, pulling on his jacket. “What is wrong?”

You cast your gaze to the floor, if only because he was now openly staring at you and your pride won over your anger—you couldn’t let him see you turning red at such an inopportune moment.

“Why can’t you just tell me what you’re doing? Or where you’re going?”

Part of you wanted him to be like human men, you wanted him to hold your face in your hands and kiss you and make you feel something other than this icy distance between the two of you. Maybe then you could take not knowing.

But that wasn’t the case, and you were infinitely reminded that this wasn’t a human man in front of you.

“This is what clan leaders do—they go out and stake their claim, mark their territory and make sure it is still theirs. You have no business here.”

Anger boiled under your skin and, god, did you really just want to smack him. But with the sheer amount of muscle in the monster man, you knew you’d hurt yourself more than you’d hurt him. “You’re not going out there to stake your fucking claim, Namjoon. I’m not stupid. I know you’re not telling me the truth.”

You could feel his stare burn into the side of your face, but you refused to meet it just to satisfy your petty rebellion. “I want you to be safe in all senses of the word. Can’t you be satisfied with that?”

“No.” You snorted. “I can’t.” Your hands were balling into fists, lips pressing into a line so thin you swore they might burst and disappear entirely. “I didn’t ask for this. I didn’t ask for your protection—I didn’t ask for you to be a clan leader, I didn’t ask for you to sacrifice your life for mine. What I asked for was your honesty.”

He paused for a second, clearly thinking out his words so that you wouldn’t continue to be mad at him. But, for a vampire still learning the complexities of the human mind, you were both well aware that he didn’t have the right toolkit to attack this problem.

“There’s a lot you can’t give me, and I’m learning to accept that. But like hell will I put aside the truth and accept your lies. What are you really going to go and do?”

It was your last lifeline, your last chance for him to grab the rope and tug him back into your good graces.

At first, it seemed like he was taking grasp of it with both hands, stepping closer towards you with intent--like he maybe was going to hold your hand, like he maybe was going to brush your hair off your neck and kiss your cheek. But, of course, he did none of those things.

Instead, he slipped past you entirely. “I promise we will return as soon as we can.”

By the time you calmed yourself enough to turn around, he was gone.

~.~

Jiwoo was a heaven-sent existence—despite being the very thing that fed on fear, you were convinced that she was an angel. It was her personal mission to make sure that you never felt alone, and that you were able to sort out all your feelings and complaints, allowing you to throw them all onto one vessel.

With her sweet smile and her unvampirely crave for contact; she was everything you needed in the wake of being pissed off at Kim Namjoon.

It was hard not to laugh as she grumbled to herself while setting up her side of the bed for the night. “I know he’s my leader, but he’s a prick.” She huffed, fluffing her pillow with slight violence only to freeze and stare at the door when there was a particular loud noise a floor below you two. There was a moment where she had offered to lay out a sleeping bag for herself on the floor, but when you offered to let her next to you, her eyes lit up and part of you wondered if maybe she could be your mate instead.

She understood your human needs far better than grumpypants.

“He wouldn’t let me visit with you as much as I would like, so I’m going to soak up every opportunity I can get.” She threw herself on the bed next to you, those bright eyes of hers boring into yours. “Maybe it’s a female thing, but I feel I can understand your thoughts a bit better than those dumb boys.”

“Maybe.” You chuckled. She was probably the exact opposite of Yoongi—far too bright, bubbly and touchy-feely for the man who recoiled at breathing the same air as another being. You paused for a second, wetting your dry lips with your tongue. “Can I ask you something?”

“No question is too strange for me.” She giggled. “Yoongi says that I ask too many weird ones that anything anyone could ask of me would seem normal in comparison.”

Somehow, you could see it. The girl radiated a personality that only existed in characters from outer space.

“Why are you so fascinated with me? I mean, I’m not really special—just your average human.”

She shrugged, moving to adjust herself into a comfortable sitting position. “Well, I liked what I saw when I first met you. And, well, I don’t really feed from humans because I pity them. I prefer the fear from my own kind—and Yoongi’s really good about making sure I can get fed enough from that alone.” She paused for a moment to ruminate on her words. “Humans…Well…I feel bad for hurting something so innocent for my own gain. They can’t even properly fight back.”

“Some do.”

“Even then, it depends on the human and their deeds—but it’s not like I’m really clued into those too well. Vampires…well, we’re often terrible beings. Maybe more so than humans.” She sighed. “But you, man, when you stood up to Jisung I swear I’ve never seen our leader more whipped for a being in his life. I wanted to know more about you because of that, too.”

Was it possible for a vampire to be vegetarian? Well, the vampire equivalent of the term. Was that cannibalism?

Honestly, you could have probably busted your last three braincells pondering a stupid label.

“Are there more vampires like you?”

Her eyes sparkled. “Probably. But they may all be dead. You and I, we are a rare breed—with mates powerful enough to ensure that we both survive.”

As you withdrew inside of yourself to contemplate the heft to her words, her hand reached out to grab your own, as if on instinct. “Humans are soft.” She murmured. “I like physical contact with them.”

“You are so weird.”

She only grinned wider at that.

For a moment you considered spilling everything to her—everything you couldn’t say to your mate, to humans, to anyone. You contemplated telling her your whole life story if only because there was a being there in front of you who looked so willing to eat it all in and learn everything there was to know about you.

This person was a vampire, and that was enough to stop you.

“There is something on your mind.” She hummed.

“Yeah.”

She cocked her head to the side. “Do you not trust me?”

You put your free hand up. “It’s not that I don’t trust you, Woo, I just…I don’t…I don’t think that you can understand me if I told you.”

“Okay.” She murmured. “I probably won’t, but its okay to tell me. My job in the clan is to not ask questions and make sure that things run smoothly. I am a glorified secretary; if there are things I am not supposed to know then I will not seek them out nor will I lose my trust if those secrets come into the light. I am supposed to tell my clan leader everything.” Her eyes scanned yours. “So it concerns him, does it not?”

“What in my world doesn’t concern him anymore?”

She chuckled, her grin faltering for a moment. “Y/N, I never said I was good at my job. Yoongi and I…we were a pairing mated by genes and not by choice—not that I mind, as I’m terrible with making decisions.” She licked her lips in the dry air. “I understand that feeling of wanting more.”

“You…” Your furrowed your brows, trying to find the right words even though the synapses weren’t fully connecting the loose ends to the equation displayed before you. “You don’t love Yoongi, do you?”

She pursed her lips, her eyes lost somewhere over your shoulder. “What Yoongi and I are certainly is not the same kind of bond that you humans call love. So if what you are worried about is how our clan leader cares for you, then I’ll have you know that I have never seen a vampire care for his mate to such extremes before. I’m jealous.”

Something that must have been akin to fear flashed through you quick as lightning, because Jiwoo’s eyes burst red for a second, narrowing in on you before dulling back to their neutral color. “I don’t want Namjoon, Y/N; don’t be afraid of that. I’m envious of the bond between you two, not what you hold—that connection, it seems so special.”

“Have you told Yoongi any of this?”

“No. I don’t see him enough to warrant it.” Her eyes softened. “Perhaps that’s why I enjoy your company, being with you annoys him enough for him to seek me out.”

Your eyes scanned her face, searching for hidden feelings and answers that she was slowly bringing to the surface. It was nice to feel a little bit less alone in a sea of people that made you feel like an anomaly. “We’re similar, aren’t we?”

Her gaze met yours. “We are.”

You tucked your lips between your teeth, trying to make yourself say the words. Trying to will yourself to let it out to her—if you could let it out to anyone, it would be her.

After all, she just indirectly told you her own personal traumas—why couldn’t you say the one thing that was always running through your head ever since you realized it enough to deny it whole-heartedly?

“I…I…”

“You love Namjoon.” She murmured, her irises bloodying to an intense crimson as you inhaled through your nose.  When you said nothing, she only squeezed your hand. “Well, I can’t say that I was unaware of that, but maybe one day we’ll get you to say it out loud, huh?” She chuckled. “Then again, isn’t that the pot calling the kettle black, as you humans would say?”

~.~

Jiwoo did not have the luxury that the other vampires around you had—she had not been trained for years to accommodate human nature into her life. She was not one who was ready to easily adapt to a human friend and, therefore, she was unable to maneuver you through the compound with the grace that Namjoon and his six had.

AKA, every horror hid from you was unfolded in a searing burst of white-hot fear.

This was, after all, a place for vampires—not humans.

The blood, the bodies, the strewn bits and pieces of lives tortured and lost were not things that startled her.

You, on the other hand, were a different story.

Turning to vomit up your entire lunch into the nearest receptacle—because why would vampires have trash cans every four feet like humans?—you nearly didn’t make it and therefore missed the bright red flash of Jiwoo’s eyes as she furrowed her brow on you in concern.

“Y/N! What happened? Are you alright?” Her worry was a palpable presence in the air, smothering you much like she was doing. Contrary to the vampires you had met thus far, she seemed to think that contact was the salve to every ailment.

You screwed your eyes shut, desperately trying to erase the images of bruised and beaten bodies, parts of humans too mangled to identify. Corpses yet to be disposed of, personal belongings dropped and bloodied in the shuffle, remnants of humans like yourself.

That could have been you. The woman in the corner with a bloody cleave from her neck to chest, she could have been you if you didn’t meet Namjoon. The man on the floor with his spine half pulled out of his back could have been you if you weren’t saved. The child—

There wasn’t anything left to vomit, but your stomach was sure as hell going to give it a go anyways.

“I--” You wanted to straighten your spine, you wanted to stand up tall and meet her in the eyes like loss of life didn’t bother you—like you weren’t terrified of the shadows of ‘what ifs’ that hung heavy above your head. You had to get used to this; that was the saddest part of it all. You, by all means, should be accustomed to death, to the lingering monsters that manifested themselves into your reality. Namjoon fed off of people like you.

He probably fed off of the people at your feet.

However, your stomach jolted into another hefty, dry heave.

“I will be okay.” You whispered, Jiwoo’s hands on your shoulders. “I’m…not all humans are accustomed to these sights.”

She took a glance around, and you could feel the apologetic sympathy roll off of her aura in waves around you without her ever uttering a word.

“I’m stupid.” She murmured. “I’m sorry, Y/N.”

“It’s not your fault.” You laughed, hands tightening around the trashcan. “Humans….”

“—Humans have too much empathy for things, especially for their own kind. I read that in a book somewhere.”

“Perhaps.” You snorted. “I think humans have too much empathy for all things, living or not. We are often pointless creatures.”

“I don’t believe in pointlessness. Everything has a reason.” She rubbed soothing circles between your shoulderblades, and, you think that she probably learned this from watching a mother soothe a child once.

You can’t help but catch a bit of dried blood out of the corner of your eye, the resembling of human flesh beside it. “When does Namjoon feed?”

She paused. “Not as often since you’ve arrived—besides prepping for their mission, I can’t remember the last time he was down here. I don’t think he wants you to see that side of him.”

“Are any of these…are any of these his?”

Jiwoo didn’t get up right away, she instead studied your expression as if to make sure that this was something that you really wanted to do—something that you felt you needed to see. She must have found her answer, because she then pushed up to her feet, leaving you huddled over the trashcan. You watched her every move with close precision if only because, if you looked away from her, you’d see more than you wanted to.

When she stopped and looked back at you, you wordlessly got to your feet and stepped carefully around the haphazard mess around you. Despite every aspect of your being trying desperately not to show fear, your palms still sweat and Jiwoo’s eyes still glowed a hazy red.

Her hand found yours as you stared down at the body before you. It was a hunter, that was evident by the uniform, though she was remarkably intact.

Something told you vampires didn’t often keep their victims looking so clean.

He made sure he could hear your screams; he wanted to drag this out—suck out every last bit of your energy and fear until death finally took you. He wanted you to suffer.

Her neck was snapped, her hair curtaining her expression that was stricken in horror. Though her eyes were closed—something else told you that Namjoon had done that when he was finished.

Some sick part of you wanted to touch her, to empathize with the body. You wanted to see yourself in that girl, you wanted to see some remnant of care you had for humanity. However, the second the Hunters Association’s uniform was involved, that fear--that horror--was dampened immensely.

You squeezed Jiwoo’s hand. “I’m okay.” You murmured. “This, I’ve seen bodies before—at least, bodies in this garb.” You bent down, recalling times where you were ordered to strip the bodies, salvage what equipment you could, and let some other sad soul dump the bodies into the incinerators. You had rarely been assigned that task because you were slow and threw up too much for their liking. Though it did become the ultimate punishment for when you mouthed off just a little bit too much.

You murmured a soft apology to the dead woman as you shifted her, your eyes latching onto the embroidered holster buckled around her hips. Numbly, and in a trance to keep yourself from losing what little stomach contents you had left, you unclasped your prize and slipped it free from Namjoon’s meal.

Brushing off the dust and debris, you fumbled with the zipper to slide open that pack and peer at the contents inside.

The bullets that lay inside the embroidered pockets sewn next to the holster shone like a beacon of light and hope in a dark and damp place.

You shifted them, ducking your head to sniff the contents. They obviously had been down here for a while; their garlic scent had significantly decreased from the potency standards that the Hunter’s Association usually had. However, they weren’t useless.

“Can I take this?”

She shrugged as you slung the holster over your shoulder. “What you carry is no concern of mine; I think it wise that you have something to protect yourself from my own kind. I know that not all of us are to be trusted, especially not with you.” She paused, cocking her head at the body of a vampire. “Besides, if their mission is as dangerous as they make it out to be, then the consequences of it may meet up with us here at the compound at some point. If everything goes to shit, I would rather you have something. Vampiric guards are not perfect protection.”

“Jiwoo, I love you.”

She chuckled. “I’m learning to understand the sentiment.”

~.~

Jiwoo attempted to cook—not because you didn’t offer to do so, but because she was adamant that she wanted to try it herself. To give her credit, it smelled good; to make yourself feel better, you hadn’t once stopped looking over her shoulder. The only vampire you trusted to make you food was the one that had lived with humans as a child.

And that vampire was most definitely not Jiwoo based purely on the way she held a spoon.

“The big part goes in the pot.”

“That’s not a handle?”

You pursed your lips, stifling the urge to laugh and cry in hopelessness at the same time. “No.”

However, both of you quickly became distracted when the outside world burst into noise. Jiwoo met your gaze before nodding. “They’re back.” That statement, though it rang true through your bones, did not allow your feet to move. Instead, you only watched as Jiwoo temporarily put the pot aside to go towards the window.

Staring out the blinds, her shoulders visibly relaxed at the sight before her. “He looks okay.” You knew how she felt in that moment because, on some deep, repressed level, you could understand her sentiment.

Yoongi was okay.

How is he? How is Namjoon?

It was almost as if, for a moment, the woman could read your mind: “Namjoon is alright.” She grinned at you as if that could make you feel better about all of your troubles. “Namjoon is alright.”

“That’s good.” You mumbled to the stew on the stove, mindlessly stirring it with the wooden spoon.

“He’s looking up here.”

You frowned at the pot, refusing to move if only because you were stubborn. Out of your peripherals, you could see her gently waving, shaking her head.

“He’s concerned for you.”

“That’s nice of him to be concerned for his human pet.”

Jiwoo sighed. “You know you mean much more to him than that.”

Instead of garnering her a proper response, you curled your free hand into the countertop to stop yourself from giving into your urge to run and make sure he was as fine with your own eyes. “Is he really okay?”You hated the way your voice cracked as her gaze seared the flesh of your cheeks.

“Are you?”

~.~

By the time Namjoon made it upstairs and into the kitchen, your food was done and you were at the table, enjoying your meal with a magazine Jiwoo had found outside the compound. Once her clan leader reared his face, Jiwoo quietly excused herself but not before you could thank her. She had done so much for you that even an awkward situation between you and her leader wouldn’t allow you to just let her slip away so easily.

Even if you didn’t even want to speak in front of your asshat “mate.”

Once you were left along with Namjoon, you could immediately feel the tension in the room rise to the point that you were sure that your blood was frozen in your veins. You could feel his stare on the side of your face, but you forced yourself to eat and focus solely on the magazine before you.

He sighed, but it did nothing to encourage your speech.

Swallowing his pride after several moments of rising silence, he gave in first. “Is there a reason you are ignoring me?”

You frowned at your magazine, fork poised by your mouth. “What did you do on your mission?”

He let out another weighted sigh. “Y/N—I can’t—it’s too danger—“

“Fine.” You cut him off, finally lifting your gaze to his, even if only for a brief moment to nail your point into the ground. “Then don’t expect me to talk.”

He sighed once more, running his fingers through his hair almost as if he wished to rip the strands out at the root. You could feel his gaze on you, feel the heat of his stare as if he could make you look at him, talk to him—as if you could actually hear his thoughts like he could hear yours.

“If you had the power to, would you go backwards? Would you change things? Would you change me?”

You frown only increased in depth, positively fucking up your features for aging later on—if you lived that long.

What in the absolute hell are you talking about?

“Would you find a human mate? If you could be rid of me, would you?”

You sighed, tilting your head up to the ceiling, staring at it as if it could have the answers to all of life’s questions. “Nothing in my life has been by choice, even if I went backwards, nothing would change.” You shifted, thinking about what a human partner would look like for you, thinking about your life without Namjoon.

It would be dark, lonely. You’d be back at the Hunter’s camp; you’d be dead—if not physically then emotionally; there was nothing to look forward to in your old life.

You imagined waking up to a world without Namjoon, without his straightforward nature, his indirect care. You imagined a world without his conversation, his small smiles, and his occasional laughter.

“Would you change me?” It was too loud for the silence of the room, and you found yourself holding your breath for his reply.

Silence encompassed the room, your heart dropping deep into the depths of your stomach the longer it stretched on—but maybe that was your brain screaming from the lack of oxygen.

Vampires find mates solely for optimal offspring, not necessarily a human’s definition of “pairing.”

Vampires are creatures of instinct; they run based on efficiency rather than emotions.

Your hands curled into the magazine, your legs poised to shove the chair out, to run and escape this conversation. You wanted to disappear, curl up into the comforter, crawl into a closet and never return. Anywhere that wasn’t that fucking kitchen would have been a better option for you in that moment.

“I would change me.” It was so quiet you almost didn’t hear it past the slow sound of your heart crashing uncomfortably in your chest. When you didn’t say anything, he continued. “Not you.”

Somehow, that didn’t make your heart lift from its newfound home on the roof of your stomach.

“Why?”

His gaze was no longer on you; rather it was downcast to the floor, focusing on the tile as he carefully chose his words. “I would make myself human.”

“You’d be dead.” You said stupidly, staring at him in confusion to words spilling from your mouth so quickly and so surely you were amazed that you were able to translate all of the jumbled thoughts careening in your head. “We’d both be, I wouldn’t have met you—the hunter’s association wouldn’t have kept me around. So you saying that you would change yourself would mean that you would ultimately change me.” You pushed your chair out from the counter. “We can’t go back, we can’t change what is, only what will be. Why the hell are we even talking about this? What are you so afraid of? Why is it so hard to tell me where you were? What you were doing?”

“If another clan found out about you, if you had information to give, they would never stop hunting you. They would torture you until you begged for death—and then they wouldn’t give it to you, they’d wait until they fed every last drop of information and fear from you before finally letting you decimate yourself.”

“I thought you said you wouldn’t let any of that happen.”

“I can’t make promises, Y/N, this world isn’t—“

“Okay.” You pushed yourself to your feet, leaving your half eaten food and your magazine on the table.

“Y/N—“

“I think…I think I’m going to go to bed now.”

He made it seem like he was almost going to reach out and grab you, but he retracted his hand at the last second.

He only ever touched you because he thought you wanted it, not because he did.

“Good night.” You threw the words over your shoulder, because you didn’t want him to see you cry. He’d seen you cry enough. Crying was weakness, and god were you already pathetic enough as a human being to even think, for a moment, that maybe you weren’t alone in your denied feelings.

Maybe he was right. Maybe it would have been easier if he was human and you two never met. Maybe it would be better if you weren’t in his life.

But would your life be better without him in it?

~.~

You had slept like the dead, cliché phrase you know, but sobbing into a pillow until your eyes were puffed to the point that you couldn’t see made you sleep like you hadn’t in months.

Yeah, you probably could have been six feet under with your lack of response to the world around you. You didn’t wake up when Namjoon entered—you sure as hell didn’t wake up when he came in to wrap you up all nice and tight (you only assumed that he did it based on the fact that you were one-hundred percent sure that you fell face first into the plush bed). You definitely didn’t wake when Jiwoo came in to check on you, nor when Namjoon came and went for the second time. Oh, and you sure as hell didn’t even fucking stir when someone booked it down the hall past your bedroom.

You couldn’t even talk about the building shaking with the force of an explosion outside.

What did finally wake you up was whatever internal alarm built within your genetic code that screamed danger when Taehyung burst into the bedroom at full speed.

Groggily, with your eyelids screaming out in pain and horror, you forced yourself into a sitting position.

You know, you made it sound all fancy, but any normal person would have woken up to the explosion—you just woke up to a dude running in your room with his body language screaming “trouble,” screaming “danger.” And, though you hated to admit to your tendencies to actually give a flying fuck about the man, it scared the barely conscious you to think that this incident involved the vampire closest to you.

Taehyung, luckily or unluckily for you, didn’t regard you at first, and you used that time  to fully wake up and orient yourself to the situation before you. As if drugged, you wiped the drool from the corner of your mouth and lazily watched Taehyung slam the door behind him, reaching for a chair to tuck up under the handle—like that was going to do anything against whatever was causing him to panic.

The instant awake button was found when Taehyung turned around and you got a damn good look at his split lip—accompanied by the bruising underneath his eye. The cherry on top of his injury cake was the gashes that you could see through the fresh holes in his shirt when he spun around, blood dribbling down to the waistband of his jeans.

“What’s going on?” Your voice came out as a hiss that sounded more like a gunshot on the tense silence of the room.

His breath came in fast gasps as he turned towards you, his gaze landing anywhere but you—looking for exits, danger, weapons—

“Taehyung!”

He nodded, eyes finally meeting yours. “No windows. Good.”

It didn’t answer your question, but you were pretty sure that he didn’t hear it anyways.

Sitting back into your hips, you ran your fingers through your hair to gather it into a ponytail. “I don’t give a shit about windows; Taehyung, what’s happening?” And then, like the desperate spiral of a worried human being you were, you didn’t even give him time to answer. “It’s Namjoon isn’t it? Where is he? Is he alright?”

He held his hands up to take the brunt of your verbal assault, breath heaving in his chest. “He’s…he’ll be fine.”

“Bullshit.” You detangled yourself from the sheets, adjusting your shirt. “I want to see him.”

“I have orders to make sure you don’t leave this room.”

You froze, frowning at the beaten man before you. “Taehyung—orders or not—you are not going to stop me from going out there.”

“Y/N.” His voice was dark and strained in a way that you most definitely didn’t like. “I have orders; I have to protect you.”

What would your life be like without Namjoon?

You two stared at each other, that same tense silence falling between you.

And then, like the idiot you were, you burst out of the bed and towards the bedroom door.

Naturally, as a fucking vampire, Taehyung was faster than you. His arms wrapped around your waist hard—too hard, but he obviously wasn’t used to handling humans in a way that was gentle; especially when panicked—spinning you around to fling you back onto the bed.

However, you were dumb, and that meant you didn’t know when to give up. In an instant you were back on your feet, bolting towards the door once more. If he had any hope of being delicate with you, it was out the metaphorical window with your second attempt at escape. You crashed to the ground with all the grace of a whale beaching itself, skidding back towards the bed post.

“Please stop.” Taehyung pleaded, body poised to block you. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

You rolled to your hands and knees, hissing in pain. “Then just let help, let me out of here.”

“Y/N! They will kill you, don’t you see that? You see what they did to me—what the hell do you think will happen to you?” He was desperate, all but screaming at you in a way that would have scared you were your heart not slamming itself against your ribs.

If he looks like this, what does Namjoon look like? Where is Namjoon?

You threw a glance at the bed, at the space between the mattress and the box spring—the space where you stashed your hidden prize. Without thinking of anything else but the way Namjoon’s hand felt around yours, you shoved your hand underneath the mattress, fingers wrapping around the handle of the gun as you whipped it out at Taehyung. A shaky breath slipped past your lips as you switched off the safety, staring down the barrel at your unfortunate target. With a furrowed brow and a steeled resolve, you nodded to the door, one hand slowly leaving the gun in order to fasten the holster around your waist. “Taehyung, open it.”

“You’d shoot me?” His voice was so sad, so concerned and weak that it broke your heart to do this to him.

But I have no choice.

You remembered Namjoon’s face as he held you, the furrow to his brow as he watched a romantic comedy just to try and understand you better.

He didn’t, but he tried.

“If it means that there’s even a small chance that I can keep him from losing his life—from getting hurt—then, yeah, I would.”

He let out a sigh from deep inside his chest, holding his hands up in surrender. “You know that, if he loses you, this whole thing—everything he’s worked for—it’s all over.”

“But is the outcome really that much better if I lose him?” You jerked your chin to the door once more. “Open it.”

As your gun remained trained on his back, loaded with faded but still garlic laden bullets, Taehyung removed the chair and pulled the door open. Satisfied that he wasn’t going to do anything further to stop you, you thumbed the safety back on and ran down the hall full speed. Skidding across the tile like a madwoman, you swung yourself into the kitchen—the fried synapses of your brain lighting up with an idea. A horrible idea, but an idea nonetheless.

The bullet pouch slammed against a forming bruise on your thigh as you hurriedly threw open the cabinet doors in your squirrel search for the pasta jar you had panicked about so long ago.

“What are you doing?” Taehyung murmured, defeated twice in one day—once by vampires and once by a human scared of a leaf.

“The garlic in these bullets won’t be enough. Bullets lose their soaked properties by half in a month, three-quarters in two. They’re going to need to be refreshed.” You grinned with the jar in your hand, wiggling it within his view.

“Yah! Y/N!” He was only able to let out an exhausted shout as you remembered your self-imposed mission and burst past him, Taehyung hot on your heels.

All playfulness was zapped from you the moment you threw open the doors to the compound.

The difference between the quiet chaos instead the building and the cacophony of the world outside almost gave you whiplash.

The sky was overcast, but only within the vicinity of the area around the compound—in the distance, you could see places where the sun beat down on the ruined earth. All you could hear and see were bursts of bright flashes, sounds of lightning and screaming that seemed to echo even in the open space reverberated through your core. It was as if titans walked the earth and were crashing into each other, bodies slamming against one another. The fencing was dented in, but not broken, bodies strewn just outside and particularly dense around the gates.

Someone was trying to get in—but like, nO ShIT Y/n.

For a moment, you were stunned; for a moment your resolve and your footsteps stuttered.

You wondered if you had as much blood as your partner, strewn up on the tree. You wondered if you, too, would lose your insides to the ground, if the vampire with its hand around your neck would gut you until you were a shell.

Until there was no more blood.

Namjoon slowly overlapped your past self, images of him in a vampire’s hold—images of him strewn up on a tree, him dangling from a grasp until his intestines were on the ground.

Without thinking any further, without dwelling on the fact that this would probably get you killed, you ran towards the fence. Taehyung called out your name behind you, but it sounded garbled as if he was miles away—you were far too focused on not losing the one person that irritated you most.

Your free hand looped through the chain-link, your eyes scanning the haphazard mess of fighting until you finally saw that shock of hair and that shoulder-shape that you would (don’t fucking read into it, you’re still in denial) recognize anywhere.

Your heart leapt into your throat despite all efforts to stamp it down, despite all efforts to continue to pretend that you didn’t give a shit.

He was hurt.

Blood dribbled into his eyes, some running down to his grimace of pain as he used his good hand—the one not broken at an inhuman angle—to utilize his demonic vampire abilities that had every species in the country cowering in fear.

However, what concerned you the most was that you saw Jisung standing there with a wicked grin, as if he was the only one who wasn’t afraid.

That fact alone concerned you as to what kind of abilities he had—he was a clan leader now, wasn’t he? The gold flash to his eyes told you that your gut instinct was true.  He wasn’t afraid. He wasn’t fucking afraid?

That made you even more so—but not for yourself. In that moment, you couldn’t give less of a shit about yourself.

Jisung was still, standing between guards but laughing, close to insanity as Jimin’s body jolted and his head snapped back, a cast of purple sliding over them. Jimin grabbed his face, turning towards Namjoon only to lash out at his own leader.

And, just like that, you realized why Jisung wasn’t afraid.

How could you be afraid of someone when you could turn the people your enemy cared about against them?

You unscrewed the cap to the sauce, fishing out a bullet from the holster to dip it in the substance before loading it into your gun. Hunter’s guns were designed for wet ammo—bullets had to be soaked one way or another, often times they weren’t entirely dry when used. It should still work. Though, it probably would have been smart to test the damn thing before this very moment.

Biting your lip in concentration, you fired at Jisung without any further hesitation.

There wasn’t panic this time, your hands didn’t shake—so the shot took, though not quite where you wanted it—his bicep wasn’t the most fatal place to be hit, but it would do.

The cast left Jimin’s eyes as Jisung’s attention travelled elsewhere…along with the attention of everyone else on the street.

All gazes snapped upright, Namjoon’s eyes meeting with yours at the exact same time Jisung found the source of his new injury.

All it took was one look at Namjoon and you could practically hear his voice in your head—you could feel his anger, his worry, and his own fear radiate through the ground towards you as if it was a lightning strike.

So, because you were smart and because you obviously didn’t give a rat’s ass about Namjoon’s worry for you, you dipped a bullet and fired another shot at Jisung.

Okay so maybe smart wasn’t the word for you.

“Y/N!” The shout came from all angles, from Taehyung still scrambling to chase after you from behind, from Seokjin who was trying to wrestle a very confused Jimin away from Jisung’s radius, from Namjoon who turned to tear after Jisung with renewed vigor because he knew that was the only way to save you.

After all, you’d forgotten that one of Jisung’s gang could teleport.

Suddenly, as if you had an epiphany, you remembered why you weren’t supposed to get close to the fence—but in reality it was because you were now face to face with the ugliest man (vampire or human, didn’t fucking matter if you had a mullet and a slight overbite) you’ve ever seen. Like this was some damn superhero movie, he flashed through the fence, his hands enclosing around your wrists.

He’s got freckles. Was your last stupid thought before you were launched into another reality, another fucking dimension that was far too fast and all too confusing for you to comprehend.

Luckily for you, you were still holding onto the pasta sauce jar—even when you suddenly found yourself outside of the safety of the compound and on the asphalt. You didn’t really think too much of it because you were too busy trying to unfurl the ball of nausea in your gut.

You barely had time to look up and see your mate only a few feet away--his eyes wide as he desperately and quickly tried to dive for you—before you were slammed back into that disorienting world that was both reality and not at the same time.

Freckles twisted with you, his laughter tickling the shell of your ear though it seemed to echo all around you in the foreign space.

Somehow, you knew what was up and what was down enough to come to the realization that you were now beneath him.

Shit shit shit.

You wondered if Namjoon could still hear your thoughts in this world. If so, you were probably scaring him more than yourself.

But like, you were pretty damned scared so maybe not; you could die.

You would die, at least if Freckles had you hit the ground first, at least if Freckles used his weight to slam you underneath him; vampires were strong after all.

You could hear people yelling your name through the thin fabric of time and space; your mate’s panic wrapped around Jisung’s laugh and was sprinkled by never ending shouts of your name. However, with every second in this false world, they were getting further and further away from you.

You could feel Freckles trying to manifest you back into your normal realm of existence, your body tilting backwards as the world shifted around you. In a last second panic as you careened head first, you swung the jar in your hand, slamming it into the side of Freckles’ face as hard as you could manage.

You had to give yourself some props at least, the glass shattered in a spray of spiced garlic and tomatoes, the world snapping into clarity around you as he let go, leaving to you clatter to the ground in a mess of limbs.

Freckles manifested behind you, clutching at his sizzling face in agony as you gathered yourself onto your knees, prepping yourself for the next blow to come. In the distance, about a block and a half away, you could see Namjoon.

Oh yeah, even from this distance you could tell he was pissed with a capital P.

“Fucking bitch!” Freckles howled, his glare one that shot a spike of fear straight through your chest as he towered over you.

You reached for your gun, only to realize that you must have dropped it back inside the compound when this asshole first appeared—leaving you defenseless as he grabbed you by your neck. For whatever reason, it seemed that vampires seemed to favor that as a point of grip. It probably was because it immobilized any human seeing as they could die if they didn’t struggle or if they struggled too hard.

Either way, it would be nice to face a vampire that didn’t aim for your jugular.

You kicked and flailed, gritting your teeth against the pain and the disgusting slough of skin that had become the right side of Freckles’ face. You had been lucky enough to see garlic wounds only through projector screens until now—they looked much worse in person. You would have vomited were you not suspended by your fucking throat.

Out of the corner of your eye, you caught the tail end of a flash of that warm, bright light that could only have come from Namjoon. You heard Seokjin shouting something, but everything was getting blurrier and blurrier the longer Freckles’ hand was holding you.

“Do all of the six have abilities?”

Jiwoo rested her face on her hands, staring at the board game before the two of you as you finished your turn. “Technically yes, but I haven’t seen all of them. I don’t go on missions much—at least not with them.” She reached to grab the dice in the middle of the board. “Why do you ask?”

You shrugged. “I don’t know, it just…it seems like Namjoon regards them all so highly and, well—at least at the Hunter’s association—I thought that the vampire hierarchy is based on abilities.”

She chuckled, the dice thudding on the hard board. “It is, normally. Namjoon, however, is not particularly a normal clan leader.”

You kicked with whatever strength you could manage, black spots dancing at the corners of your vision.

“So Seokjin is second in command because of age then?”

She made a face, moving her piece five spaces. “Partly, but that is the one case where abilities do play some sort of factor. Namjoon’s hierarchy is based on trust—the reason the six are as high up as they are is based on loyalty and proof that they have earned his trust. Seokjin…Seokjin showed this trust with his abilities.”

When you only stared at her in confusion she laughed.

“I suppose you wouldn’t know, apologize for me assuming that you did—after all, it seems that, aside from Namjoon, you are closest with him.” She sent you a wink that had you frowning at her. “Seokjin is a nullifier—which is a huge ability in a world of clan leaders. He could take over the clan if he so chose to.”

“But he doesn’t—he chooses to follow Namjoon?”

She nodded. “He trusts his leader as much as his leader trusts him.”

Suddenly, there was a force that knocked into Freckles’ back—hard enough to send both of you careening to the side only to slam into the ground far too hard for your liking.

Everything moved lethargically around you, your body stuck to the ground as your mind reeled to catch up with the sudden intake of oxygen. When you finally managed to get yourself to a sitting position you saw Seokjin wrestling with Freckles, his teeth grit in an animalistic snarl as he desperately tried to get your attention.

He was yelling something at you, but in the fog of your brain it was hard to hear.

However, you were pretty decent at reading lips.

“Run.”

You didn’t need a second glance to make sure that you heard right, you didn’t need to be told twice to do the one thing your busted fight or flight response was good at. You hauled your sore ass up off the ground and took off running.

Well, at first you pitched toward the side, hit the ground and then had to haul yourself up again—but you know, you had to cut yourself a break because you were just getting your oxygen back.

However, running, for whatever reason helped—it helped clear the fog and bring back your hyper-focus, it helped bring back the whole reason you found yourself outside the compound: the vampire not focused enough on the enemy he was fighting; the man who stared at you as if you held his life within your chest.

Whatever fear had been there dissipated the moment you saw how injured he managed to get himself in the moments that you had been fighting with Freckles’. All those cuts and bruises and gashes—even with his vampiric healing it would still take him over two weeks to get rid of those injuries entirely.

So what does the concerned human with bleeding pasta sauce hands and absolutely nothing else decide to do when her mate is in need? Call in reinforcements? Figure out where she dropped the Vampire Hunter gun? Well…no, it’s you—what do you expect?

After all, you were not and you would never be a vampire hunter.

So, like the rabid koala you always wanted to be (not really) you latched onto Jisung’s back, your garlic soaked fingers digging into the skin  of his face—his mouth, his eyes, whatever place you could find to debilitate him. Namjoon stared at you over Jisung’s shoulder, his face gritting with renewed anger as he slammed the heel of his palm into Jisung’s jugular.

It was going well until your added weight on Jisung’s back caused the both of you to topple backwards, the enemy vampire slamming on top of you hard enough to knock the wind out of you. Jisung screeched in pain, his hands gripping your wrists in a vice, threatening to crush the bones. Namjoon, in a fit of anger that terrified you (even though it wasn’t directed at you)—even knowing that you were the person that he would never intentionally injure.  He grabbed Jisung by the jacket, picking him up with a grunt and a growl of anger only to throw him over you. You shouldn’t have been surprised by how far the enemy vampire flew, but then again, Namjoon wasn’t the most infamous clan leader in the entire continent for nothing.

You leaned your head back, watching Jisung clamor to his feet.

“Hwi! Fall back!” He shouted in pain, Freckles responding to the name by ripping free from Seokjin’s grasp. The teleporter ran full speed at his clan leader, vanishing into thin air the moment his hand met Jisung’s shoulder.

Both you and Namjoon held your breath, watching as the remainder of Jisung’s clan ran back into the ruined city and away from the compound.

It was only when he was satisfied that they were not going to spontaneously reappear that Namjoon finally addressed you, still lying on the ground like an upside down starfish. You, on the other hand, refused to meet his gaze because you were positive that it was a look of pure anger and frustration at your lack of give-a-shit to his instructions.

“Back up.” You murmured to the sky. “I’ve got garlic on me and you’ve got open wounds.”

He frowned, but you could tell that he only moved maybe a centimeter further away from you as he gathered whatever coherency he could manage from the renegade thoughts in his head. “You…why don’t you listen? Why don’t you ever listen? You were told not to come out here.”

His anger should have scared you, but this kind didn’t—you just didn’t want to see it. “I had to make sure.” Your chest tightened painfully. You wanted to blame it on the weight of Jisung slamming into you, blame it on being manhandled like a rag doll by Freckles.

But you couldn’t. Not anymore.

Not when you were out here despite yourself being afraid of everything that this outside world meant.

“I had to make sure that you survived. I...I—“

I think I love you. Was what you were going to think, but all thoughts of confession were ripped from your mind the second your body lit aflame with one single strain of thought.

Garlic.

The smell was far too strong for it to be the pasta sauce on your hand, and you couldn’t get yourself to your feet in time to beat the sound of the shot echoing through the streets.

You watched in horror as a puff of blood burst from Namjoon, a scream of agony ripping from his throat as he crashed backwards to the ground.

You couldn’t hear yourself, but you knew you were screaming his name, jolting towards him only to be stopped by the sudden pressure of a wire lasso tightening around your midsection.

As you were ripped backwards off your feet, past the blood rushing in your ears and the sounds of Namjoon’s screams, you could make out the telltale buzz of a two-way radio far too close for comfort.

We’ve got her trapped. Target down.

[niennavalier]

Okay I wasn’t planning on doing a DS9 rant post but here it is, under the cut in case I get annoying about DS9 and romance and Julian in particular

Okay, so I swear, the writers went into the show with this idea that Julian Bashir was gonna be this fresh-out-of-med-school brilliant, attractive doctor with charm to spare and something like this ladies’ man kinda attitude. Maybe (hopefully) not that sleazy, but still. And then it didn’t really work in season 1 in regards to Jadzia, so they dropped that storyline (thank fuck).

But then it’s so weird when I think they’re trying to kinda keep it alive through the show, except it literally never really works quite right? Even though the DS9 writers are legitimately good with writing the other romances on the show?? Kira and Odo? Absolutely adorable, I would die for them. Jadzia and Worf? Who would’ve that that’d work? Not me! But I’d die for them too!

(Yes, all of these characters have other romantic interests at times, some good - like Lenara Kahn - and others less so - Bareil is really boring and Lwaxana Troi DID NOT need to be there - but they also get these fantastic long-term stories)

Meanwhile, for my favorite doctor? I might be missing some but here’s what I could think of whilst typing: Melora was...sorta forgettable (I forgot about the episode until I was just scrolling through all of them). Technically fine but...forgettable. Leeta...honestly I never understood this pairing. I legitimately don’t remember ever seeing them get together on screen; best I recall, they were just together one day and we were supposed to just accept it. Which...whatever, I’m not a fan, and this pairing did nothing for either of them. Serena, I actually liked; they were cute together in that one episode, but at the same time I’m torn because I truly believe the writers made the right choice in that she had to experience the world for herself. For all the cuteness, I much prefer her discovering her own self-worth and think that’s better for her as her own character.

And then. There’s Dax. The first couple seasons? Awkward as fuck. No thanks. But then him and Jadzia become like, best science buddies! And he painfully third-wheels for her date with Lenara in Rejoined! And it’s like “wow now that’s true friendship right there”. And I loved that relationship so much! We watched Julian grow up a lot since the pilot, and honestly, him becoming best friends with Jadzia matched that change really well. Going from this kinda juvenile crush and strange persistence to a much more mature friendship. I mean, there’s one episode (which I can’t place at the moment) where there’s some crisis on the station and they’re hiding somewhere, she’s hurt, and they’re both freezing. And he’s holding her, and she makes some comment on how past-him would’ve used this as an opportunity to try and spark something between them. But present-him isn’t like that anymore, and watching as the audience, there truly isn’t weird romantic tension between them. It’s intimacy and familiarity and comfort without the weight of romance. And it’s perfect.

But then all of a sudden, the back half of season 6 starts happening, and apparently he’s always loved her? And it’s like...where did this come from?? You were doing so well, writers, what happened?? It just...suddenly brought back all the awkwardness of season 1, except at least this time, he’s not acting on it. So instead it’s just weirdly angsty and 100% out of left field. (Also Quark loves her, which is random but less concerning to me cause at least it wasn’t reviving an abandoned plot point, like with Julian) (The Quark point isn’t relevant, but I just felt like saying it)

And that whole thing just put the biggest pit in my stomach, cause I knew about Ezri joining them in season 7 and I was just like “nooo pleeeease don’t get him together with Ezri”

Apparently I just live to be disappointed.

Full disclosure, I actually haven’t fully watched the scene where they get together, but my roommate did end up coming upon a scene of them together in bed, and I’m not that stupid. Bonus: I’m about 6 away from the end, and that in itself is kinda concerning, because now I’m double concerned that it’s gonna be rushed even worse than I thought it would. Because, as of now, she has had barely any contact with Julian, outside of just being part of the senior staff (aka being a main character). I can honestly only actively remember them having one conversation, which just existed for her to say that if Worf hadn’t shown up, then Jadzia would’ve chosen Julian. Which...okay...what now? Worf didn’t show up until season 5, wtf is this about? If Jadzia was actually in love with Julian, she would’ve done something about it. Jadzia Dax is NOT passive about what she wants, and it’s what makes her such a joy to watch. She’s even willing to act against her own culture out of her love for Lenara, despite hesitation because yeah, that’s a lot of risk. She’s willing to leave her friends to be with the dude she met in that weird world that blipped between universes. She acts with her heart and without fear, even in situations where there are barriers stopping her from doing what she wants. There was never such a barrier with her and Julian, so yeah, no, if she’d wanted him - truly wanted him - she would’ve gone for it.

The scene only exists for them to try and justify putting him together with Ezri, and it SUCKS on every conceivable level.

(Also yes, I know they have some other, normal conversations, but they’re never particularly interesting or impactful, so I don’t remember them, and that probably says something in and of itself)

For one, their lack of conversation and just...general shared screentime is so small that I can’t buy the idea that the two of them actually know each other that well. Even if they did bond off-screen, thus far, the show itself never actually gives any evidence of that while they ARE on screen. They have the same level of chemistry that Julian and Kira should have (although, strangely, the characters have much better chemistry than their screentime would seem to indicate but...well they were married IRL so...yeah). Friendly colleagues, but that’s really it. And yet, he’s gonna fall in love with her?

I don’t think so.

He’s in love with Jadzia (apparently. but that’s a different complaint, seen above). He’s in love with a past life of the Dax symbiont. That past life just happens to be contained now within Ezri, and it’s the only conceivable reason I have for why he’s interested in her at all. Realistically, had Ezri Tegan never become Ezri Dax, I doubt Julian would’ve had the same thoughts about her. Granted, people can meet by circumstance and fall in love - I’m not shitting on that idea - and I’m not implying that Julian is a dick by any means, but the show itself doesn’t give us any reason that he would fall for her. Like...what traits of Ezri does Julian find himself attracted to, aside from the fact she was once Jadzia? I don’t think the show ever actually gives any answer to that question. She may carry some shades of Jadzia’s habits and idiosyncrasies and such, because that’s how joined Trill work, but she’s also very much still Ezri. And, for the sake of her character, that should be really important? So, frankly, it’s actually just...really insulting to Ezri? That she’s not loved for who she is, but who the Dax host was. And that’s honestly just awful.

And I actually just thought of this while writing this post and complaining about that one conversation, but it also sucks for Julian a bit, too? Like, the way Ezri phrases that one line - “If Worf hadn’t come along, it would’ve been you” - it feels to me like he was very much the second choice. And...would that not feel awful to be told that? Basically that you were someone else’s back-up plan. I mean, I can’t speak from experience, but I can’t imagine that feels good. And plus, now he knows that Jadzia apparently had those feelings for him, which Ezri now carries with her. Which...wouldn’t something about that just feel wrong? These aren’t Ezri’s feelings exactly; she’s just stuck with them. And Julian is fundamentally a good person who has some idea of how the Trill work; wouldn’t this be a little like he’s...not quite using her, but allowing her to act on feelings that aren’t actually, truly hers? So the situation ends up being that she might not really love him, not as Ezri, and that would really suck for both of them.

Granted, that’s not to say she couldn’t decide that on her own; she totally could, but the show hasn’t laid the groundwork for that. And it’s also not to discredit feelings that linger from past hosts. Jadzia and Lenara are drawn to each other because of Torias and Neilani, but they also do legitimately fall in love with the people they are now and bond over their shared interests in their present forms. Honestly, the show even makes this distinction? When Ezri and Worf are stuck together, they definitely sleep together, but the show makes it fairly clear that it’s pent up tension from the two of them not talking, combined with the fact he and Jadzia were newly married. I’m pretty sure they decide it’s not really something to pursue; it was just what happened out of old instincts, not out of actual love between the two people actually involved.

Mostly, I take issue because of the first sentence of that last paragraph. The show just never sets it up. If it showed her and Julian having chemistry, I’d have far fewer complaints about this. (For fuck’s sake, I think she had a deeper conversation with JORAN. THE MURDERER. Than she really did with Julian. Now that’s a problem)

Long story short: they really shouldn’t have kept trying to shoe-horn romance in for Julian. All of his stories work better without, particularly in the long-term. The chemistry is just...never there with his long-term potential partners the writers throw at him. He really does have the best chemistry with Miles and Garak. That’s all fantastic.

(Which is to also say: I get that it was the 90s but I really wish we could’ve gotten our disaster bi doctor and his lizard spy boyfriend. Just saying)

[babyboyoonie]

Yoonmin Rec Masterlist

what more can i say,, let’s just GET IT 

Fluff

Thunder | it’s thunder, bitch | don’t mind my tags | Yoongi just doesn’t like thunder much

A Little Jealousy | never kills nobody~~ | well the title is self-explanatory what do you want me to say

housewarming | they’re adorable as fuck | my heart has been reported: soft

In the way you give and take | Jimin’s intense with his feelings | they’re just both whipped for each other

Almond Eyes | coffee shop AU | Yoongi’s super shy | Jimin’s a flirt

Soft Spot | Yoongi’s soft for the maknae line

Coffee and Honey | coffee shop AU | Yoonmin are adorable

You're My Everything | Yoongi is a clumsy cutie | Jimin’s soft

mind is a razor blade | doggo Jimin but not really | Yoongi lens a flower shop

fools | shy Yoongi is shy

If looks could kill... | I’m not gonna say anything | just read lololol

You don't mess with Min Yoongi | in which Yoongi is softer than soft

Impulse | vampire Jimin | childhood friend AU

let's stay like this | morning sweetness | Yoongi’s as needy as he said Holly was

meow and cuddles | hybrid AU but not really | it’s soft and a bit angsty on Minnie’s side but nothing big

sleep and showers | they’re both hybrids | and cute

Away in The Mountains | witch!jimin with his magic kitty Yoon

babies and flowers | kid fic

To Not See Is To Love | sweet n soft

i don't care if you're not sorry, i forgive you | seemingly bad boy Yoongi | he really isn’t and Jimin sees it

Tiny Humans Not Included | yoonmin are adorable ))=| caring for a baby included

Of Potions and Chocolates | dragon slayer Jimin | potion brewer Yoongi | they’re crushing on each other but totally oblivious and it’s sweet

Tell Me Your Secrets, I'll Tell You Mine | post stress after mixtape release | overall cute

Nothing wrong with a little Pride | adorable and funny to bits | the characters are so lovable whoa

For You | comfort

In Bloom | mystery  | just soft

I Think It’s Called, Customer Service | an adorable misunderstanding | cute

Angst

Overdose | sad...but not too much...but sad

Color // Yoonmin | bitch maybe I cried | aaah my heart hurts why am I doing this

Why are you shaking up my heart? | it begins as v sad but turns out soft in the middle | crushing boys having crushes in idol verse

you make me believe in happily ever after | right in the kokoro

if I can laugh with you, my heart will clear up, too | oof be mindful of your heart it’ll clench up so bad

Lead me home | angst fest yeay | Pirate AU

Ashtrays and Heartbreaks (a love song since when)  | soft angst  | dealing with feelings n all that

An Uber-Unexpected Journey | an Uber story

Caught in a Lie | cheating

Confidence | it’s sad but not full blown sad ya know | ends up sweet

Smut

Good Things Come to Those Who Wait | threesome | Yoonminjin | dom Jimin

imma give it to you right now |  ABO | alpha Jimin | Omega Yoongi | cute

you're unbelievable (but i still want it) | funny!! | they’re both very straightforward....

Sleepover | face-fucking | cock-slut Yoongi

Thunderstorm | soft

Lock and key | ABO | porn with plot | dog hybrid Jimin

no rest for the wicked | Taegimin | tired bby yoon

softer than the sky at dusk | Yoonminseok | (((;

things that can't be found on the internet | i don’t even know what to tag | just read it pls it’s good

Let yourself unwind | shower sex | Dom Jimin

Hatred Plays On Our Side | enemies to lover

Cherry Lips  | crossdressing  | Yoongi in pretty clothes

i would throw in the towel for you, boy  | jockstraps? daddy kink? yeah, uh, that

Touch me, Hyung | morning sex

Camera Shy | Plot twist

Slice of life

Don't come closer (I'll bite) | College AU | Jimin is b o l d | Yoongi tries to be mean but he’s a marshmallow so jokes on him | a favorite

Powder Pink (Softer Than Mink) | Car racing AU | smut part contains BDSM

we'll be your escape | idol verse | part everyone/Yoongi | cuddles

rid me of this meddlesome fate | deities AU | ADORABLE

styx and stones (i'm home alone) | ...hell AU? | Jimin is chaotic

Charcoal and Graphite | vampire jimin

Red's Big Bad Wolf | red riding hood AU | Jimin is one yummy wolf okay and really into Yoongi

What Helps Him Sleep At Night | Incubus Jimin | he’s whipped and it’s adorable

Money can't buy happiness (except when it does) | it hurts but it hurts good | v v sweet

Transparent | ghosts AU

We Belong Together  | surprise baby-sitting  | yoongi is good with babies

I kissed a boy (and I liked it).  | or the one where jimin’s yongi’s sex-drive epiphany

Peach Kiss | the 80′s | soft boys in love | so so endearing

Caught In A Lie | Royalty AU

Multi-chaptered

A Cinderella Story: Yoonmin Edition | social media au + some parts written

Two Worlds | ABO | boarding school | Alpha Jimin | Omega Yoongi

at the touch of death | mythology AU | Persephone Yoongi | Hades Jimin

I want you (to want me) | college AU | playboy Jimin

two plus one | idol jimin and single parent Yoongi | they’re cute

I know you want to be my bitch for tonight | Yoongi’s depicted as an asshole in the beginning but it’s explained and it gets better don’t worry

A Little Bit of Everything| chat fic | the interactions are cute!!! | 12/10 would recommend their dynamic | a favorite of @lollifewhatlife

SUN PRINCE | another chat fic | my personal favorite | platonic taegi for life

that's gay | chat fic !! | ...platonic taegi hehe

when you're in love all the lines get blurred | fake dating au | Yoongi’s actually so soft you’ll see

Conflicting Arrangement | 12/10 character development

Solace | bitter sweet | heartbreaking in the most mundane way, it shouldn’t be that sad but it is | it gets better super quick so no worries

Neko Atsume | cat hybrid Yoongi | okay so Yoongi’s really soft and Jimin takes care of him real good BUT Yoongi tops in one chapter (the 77th) | I still rec-ed it bc even though he tops Jimin is still in charge

Soft | trope inversion, Jimin’s the bad boy and Yoongi’s the good one | Jimin isn’t bad at all actually lmao

blow a kiss (fire a gun) | spy AU

Ablaze | dragon Yoongi turning human | spell breaker Jimin | it’s a roller coaster you’ve been warned

Burning Snow | crush crush | unhealthy relationship (not between yoonmin)

[haouintheworld]

Savage

A Decayshipping fic co-written with the incredible @confuzzeledpanda​

If you’re wondering what Decayshipping is, it’s the ship for Gentle Darkness (Tenebros) and the Light of Destruction. It’s a very angsty ride. 

This fic is set 80 years after YGO GX, thus 20 years before YGO NT (thanks for the timeline and creating NT @itsashowtime​ ). It was inspired by Bahari’s “Savage” which I highly encourage you to listen to while reading along with “Fucked Up” and “Wild Ones” by the same band.

Warning (s): There’s some cursing

Why in hell Sophocles was supposedly in a steel warehouse in the middle of Brooklyn in the dead of winter, Tenebros did not know. Regardless, he had to walk in there and warn Sophocles that Sophia may come after him after that stunt he pulled with Yubel and Jūdai. The embodiment of the Gentle Darkness braced himself for the crowd and the blaring music he could hear bleeding into the street. He created clothes which gave him staff credentials and the bouncers let him in without a second glance, too concerned by the influx of concert goers arriving late.

Everything inside was grey, be it metal or concrete. A set of double doors separated the entry, complete with a merchandise booth and bar from the actual concert venue. More people were clearly inside so Tenebros made his way through them. He easily blended in with his all black outfit complete with a turtleneck sweater, ripped skinny jeans, oxfords, and leather gloves. He didn’t need much else since his powers naturally kept him warm.

Now the problem was moving through the crowd to find Sophocles. With the Light of Destruction’s height and white hair, he should be easy to find had not Tenebros been around five feet tall. This is why he liked his serpent form, he could make it grow to any length. But nope, not his human form. Dumb balance of the universe.

The space was almost filled. The balconies were near bursting and there wasn’t much room to move around on the ground floor. Tenebros worried for all of them. If Sophocles was here, then he could be planning anything from minor chaos to corrupting the whole lot. Tenebros wondered if the light being was ever as tired as he was of all the plotting.

The lights alternated pulses of scarlet, white, and gold. The trio onstage played some eerie pop music that Tenebros found himself liking. He wandered around the edge a bit, keeping himself close to the door. Every blond in the place looked like they had white hair in this light and there were too many people taller than him. No one he could see remotely resembled Sophocles as a few of songs came and went.

Tenebros was ready to call this a failure and just enjoy the concert when the crowd parted just right. Sophocles’ attention was on the stage as he swayed to the beat, knowing all the words. Plenty of other members of the crowd danced, but none of them seemed as in tune with music as Sophocles was. Tenebros let out a sigh of relief, seeing him safe and clearly in one of his elements. He observed Sophocles for a minute or two, taking note of how at peace he looked. Tenebros felt his heart twinge. He missed seeing Sophocles without cruelty lining his features. He missed talking to him without a conversation blowing up. Seeing Sophocles this at ease brought up memories of better times.

Tenebros had resigned himself to simply watching over Sophocles from a distance when the light entity met his gaze across the room. He looked surprised for a millisecond because it wasn’t in Tenebros’ nature to go to populated places. Tenebros didn’t meddle in the affairs of mortals or spend an abundance of time with his creations. Also, he hadn’t sought out Sophocles in centuries.

Sophocles’ surprise easily phased into a more playful expression and Tenebros steeled his heart. Suddenly he felt caught in a trap and there was nothing to do but make his way towards his enemy.

But should his supposed enemy be flashing a smile, a wave to come closer, or dancing like that? Tenebros thinks they're both making their way to each other now, but he’s not entirely sure because his eyes are locked on Sophocles. Watching his every move. He doesn’t realise that the crowd was parting bit by bit for the entity sometimes called the Light of Destruction. There’s the stir of whispers too, but Tenebros swears too many of them sound like Sophocles.

Tenebros could not take his eyes off of Sophocles, but he has his face scrubbed of any emotions. The only part which remains expressive anymore is his eyes. They're not pitch black for once and the lights catch the tiny stars. He’s aware of the simple little tricks Sophocles is pulling now. He’s using anything he can to his advantage. He knows the Darkness hates being the centre of attention, loathes having eyes on him. Anyone that he passes by contains a slight murmur of Sophocles’ voice. He wants everyone to keep an eye on him even if no one in the crowd understands why they can’t stop talking about this white-haired dancer.

As Sophocles gets closer, he flashes a more devious smirk, he's aware that he holds the cards. Tenebros has walked in quite willingly into his world. He's dancing to the beat, his steps going in Tenebros’ direction. He's gathering more attention and his lips are easily following the words flawlessly.

They were finally close enough to hear each other speak when a couple dances between them. They stop and have their arms around each other, kissing in time with the music.

There it was, in front of the opposing forces. Everything they could never do. They could only touch if something separated them. Kissing wasn’t even a possibility, let alone be together.

Tierra’s words from millennia ago reminded Tenebros that even if Sophocles learned to love him, it would always be doomed. They were too different. He realises it’s probably a bad idea to allow Sophocles see him. He's just going to get mocked, but he lets Sophocles see him anyway.  He lets sadness flicker across his features for a moment as he looks between the couple and Sophocles. Then he wipes it away, and looks at Sophocles’ irritated expression.

"Pardon the interruption on your fun." Tenebros says to the pair.

“Excuse us,” Sophocles says, shoving them out of his way.  He grabs Tenebros' hand and pulls him in dangerously close. The cockiness in his expression shows he’s pleased with the startled reaction he receives from Tenebros.

"What brings you here, handsome?" He asks coolly.

Tenebros feels flustered and can't stop the light grey blush which appears on his cheeks. He's glad he came heavily dressed for this situation, but he thought they would just accidentally bump into each other due to the crowd. He didn't think Sophocles would chance holding his hand or him!

The air around them felt electrified as he stifled his emotions, not wanting to show Sophocles exactly how much he affected him.

"I came here for you..." Tenebros swore internally, reminding himself that they were supposed to be enemies. "... To see how you're doing after your most recent defeat by my champions."

Sophocles let out a half amused huff. He moves his hands down to Tenebros' waist, pulling Tenebros a little closer as he continues swaying to the music. He starts purring his words as the songs go on.

"Mind dancing with me then? We can catch up on a lot more you know." He’s purposely ensured they stayed close, remaining the center of everyone’s attention.

Curse Sophocles for playing on his introverted tendencies. The crowd was looking at him expectantly to reciprocate Sophocles’ gesture. Tenebros didn’t want to cause a scene just to break away from the Light so he could think clearly. He had to somehow figure out a way to warn Sophocles about Sophia’s threats. If he ran now, he'd have to leave without a word.

Plus, they were never able to be this close and even if Sophocles was just playing with him again… At least Tenebros would have a moment to look back on and say he was in the arms of the person he loved.

Slowly, he wrapped his arms around Sophocles’ neck, “I don’t mind so long as that means you’ll listen for once.”

"Who says you get to say anything? This is my territory, remember? I hold all the cards," he whispered into Tenebros' ear. "Poor, little Tenebros flew right into the spider's web." The Darkness could practically hear the smirk in Sophocles’ voice. He pulled Tenebros closer into the crowd, taking the lead in the dance.

As the song switched over, he started purring the lyrics to Tenebros, knowing exactly the effect they'd have on him. This was way more fun than just talking after all. Whatever Tenebros had to say could wait until Sophocles had his fun.

Tenebros rationalised that the longer he was with Sophocles, the more time he’d be able to protect him from Sophia should she decide to show herself. He rolled his eyes at the little comment. Fate must be having a field day making him a foot shorter than his rival. As he let Sophocles guide him into the crowd, subconsciously getting closer to the Light as more people crowded around them.

The dark being had not heard Sophocles sing in ages, thus the blatant shock in his eyes as he heard the Light. This brought him back to happier times. Gods, his nightmares were going to include Sophocles’ angelic singing voice now, weren’t they? Tenebros sighed, resigning himself to his later pain and let Sophocles lead. Tenebros would let him have his fun and the music was good. They were between champions, the most damage he could do to Tenebros was manipulate Tenebros’ feelings like he had all those years ago.The lyrics are definitely getting to him, Sophocles sounded earnest and that he meant what he sang. Tenebros’ eyes filled with guilt and concern over Sophocles.

"You know I'm not a saint but I can make you pray. So get down on your knees, give me a reason I should stay." Sophocles sang to Tenebros, his voice weaving into the hypnotic tune.

He didn't like the look in Tenebros’ eyes. It struck a bit too close to his heart and played with the feelings he thought he buried. They were supposed to be dead. Perhaps this hadn't been the best idea, but Sophocles hadn't sung in a very long time. He wasn't going to stop now.

He spun Tenebros around, making sure he ended up with his back against Sophocles’ chest, the devious smirk growing into a full blown grin. He may not be able to press his lips to Tenebros’ ear, but he got pretty damn close to sing, “If you think that you can save me, break me down, and tame me. Here's your chance to do some damage.”

Sophocles’ grin unsettled Tenebros because he didn't think it suited the former, despite the fact that he'd seen deviousness etched into Sophocles' features for centuries. Were these really the lyrics to the song? Tenebros thought they fit their current situation too well as he found himself speechless. His shoulders stiffened as he was spun around and leaned into Sophocles. He noted that he felt coolness coming off the light entity. It was nice since his body temperature kept him warm all the time, in fact he felt too warm right now. "Don't get it twisted cause, I could be really into us, Or I can leave you just because, because."

Okay, now Tenebros felt even hotter. This wasn't fair. Sophocles had to know he still had feelings for him if he was throwing those words at him. He had to know the easiest way to play with Tenebros was to mess with whatever heart he had left. He tried extremely hard to keep all of his emotions buried deep, under lock and key, but here was Sophocles just bringing them to the surface effortlessly. Tenebros cursed his eyes, they showcased too much; adding stars the better he felt, black holes for when he felt worse. They were probably a mixture of both right now, starry at the chance to dance and hear Sophocles sing. Then swirls of the abyss for his intense worry over Sophocles' safety, the guilt for starting their rift, the despair that they could never be.

When this song was over, he'd just tell Sophocles straight up about Sophia. Then the dark being would have to leave, lest he spill anything else Sophocles could use against him. It was one thing for the other to suspect Tenebros' affections and play on them. It would be a whole different game if the Light knew for certain the Dark loved him regardless.

Sophocles wasn't sure what to think about Tenebros at this moment. He hadn't seen the stars in the elder being's eyes in decades, so used to seeing the black holes that swirled angrily within the warm gold. He also didn't miss the sudden flush of heat from Tenebros. Was he enjoying this?

No, no, Tenebros wouldn't enjoy this. Not really. It's a nice break from all of their fighting, sure, but there's no way he would want to be around Sophocles outside of this. It's why this ‘disagreement’ started in the first place. The Dark wanted nothing to do with the Light.

“Trapped inside this madness, I know you wanna have this. So I can take advantage."

This probably hadn't been the best song choice, but Sophocles didn't control the mortals, he simply 'persuaded' them to do as he pleased. He continued dancing, turning Tenebros back to him, ensuring that the cruelly cocky smile didn't leave while he thought.

"When you touch me, you take me to heaven. When you hold me, my body is a weapon."

Sophocles rolled his eyes at the lyrics, noting how too close to home they were. That didn't stop him from holding Tenebros flush against him though. What better way to mess with the Dark than to push this as far as he could? If he got lucky, this would bother Tenebros enough to leave Sophocles to his own devices.

Tenebros wished he blushed like mortals, at least then he could blame the steady blush on his cheeks on the red lights. But of course Fate hated him, his greying cheeks making it obvious under each strobe of colour. He couldn't even try to focus on anything else in the crowd, he was completely rapt by Sophocles. He tried to center his attention on Sophocles' eyes, trying to read them since they were so close.

"Savage..."

Regardless of whether or not Sophocles meant any of the words, they made the Dark want to try. Try to mend the bridge between them, at least work towards a peace or mutual agreement to coexist. Sophia and Tierra were getting wilder in their schemes and Tenebros worried more for their plans than Sophocles'. Sophia spoke with a new brand of harshness about punishing his opposite and it unsettled him... Quite frankly, it angered him too. How dare she threaten Sophocles when he was a crucial part of the universe.

Tenebros leaned in to Sophocles naturally, somewhere his thoughts noted how well they fit together. He rested his hands on Sophocles' chest, one of them holding the edge of the vest the Light wore. He'd be lying if he said he didn't like the feeling of being this close to Sophocles. Saying anything was probably going to end the moment, but Sophocles had to know. Tenebros couldn't let go of him until he had said his piece and was satisfied that Sophocles would take it seriously.

"I know you don't want to hear anything from me, but you should know that Sophia may be plotting to destroy you. Maybe with Tierra, I don't know. I just want you to know so you can be on your guard." The words came out rushed and worry had crept in by the third word.

How cruel of Fate. Make two beings that fit together, and yet, keep them apart for all eternity. Sophocles wanted to strangle Fate for this cruel design. The warning caused the smile to leave Sophocles' face as his eyes narrowed in irritation. He snapped the connection between him and the crowd, their interest in the two waning. Then he simply lead Tenebros towards the edge of the audience, not bothering to hide his annoyance. He didn't like the worry and concern that showed in Tenebros’ words. Whatever game the Dark had decided to play was far more cruel than his own. He just wanted to irritate Tenebros, not really trying to play with his feelings.

"You just couldn't enjoy the moment, could you? You just had to ruin it," he growled, running his hands through his bangs. He crossed his arms, his eyes becoming a darker red, the color of freshly spilled blood. Something he picked up on long ago. "Besides, wouldn't me disappearing be a good thing for you? Your little dolls would be perfectly safe until Tierra gets bored."

It confused him to hear Tenebros worry over him. If he's pretending, then he's becoming the perfect little copy of Sophia. If not, then maybe... No, what was he thinking? Tenebros doesn't care about him. If anything, he's more concerned with the balance of the universe. Typical.

"And has it ever crossed your mind that maybe I'm purposely pissing off those two? I'm not stupid, you know. I very well know how those two are reacting to me. But recklessness is in my nature, remember?" Sophocles didn't realize a sour, bitter note wrapped around his words, reminiscent of every other time these two forces met.

Nope, not today. He's not letting Sophocles get under his skin with this thinking. They were wasting their time talking around each other. "You've no idea how much I just wanted to enjoy the moment! But forgive me for knowing you’re unpredictable and wanting to make sure you knew you had a bigger target on your back than usual before you disappeared or something." Tenebros pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to take a deep breath. They had to fight in close proximity to hear each other properly. A couple of drunks passed them, "Oooo, they're fighting like a couple in a rom- com!" Hardly. Tenebros fought back the urge to hiss at them, his gold eyes flashing.

The dark red unsettled Tenebros, "Damn it, Sophocles. I don't want you to disappear, so get that ridiculous thought out of your head! You don't want both of them after you. It's stupid to provoke them, why would you risk yourself when nothing keeps them entertained these days?"

"Someone hasn't been paying attention~" he sang, the smirk falling back into place. "It doesn't really matter if I piss off Sophia and Tierra. The worse they'll do is torture me in some way, and then I'll be put back to work."

He shrugged his shoulders before his eyes slid back to the crowd, which was excitedly welcoming the next song. Sophocles hummed along, his fingers tapping on his arm to the beat.

"Besides, dealing with my newest idea is making me lose it. I needed to get away from it for a moment, Sophia doesn’t mind."

His gaze slid back to Tenebros, who still had the look of a concerned parent. "Oh lighten up, Tenebros. Enjoy it while you can! Sophia and Tierra aren't planning to make another one of these hellholes for a while after this one's destruction. Once the Virus is freed, this world and all the dimensions will simply tear themselves apart."

"What?" Tenebros' face fell. His eyes wide in horror as the few stars in them died.

He was a prized idiot.

This was just a set up. Sophia had just been trying to get a reaction out of him and he'd certainly given her one. She just wanted Tenebros to see how far Sophocles had fallen into his role... Wanted to see how far he would go for the Light, well, now she had her answer.

Tenebros resisted the urge to lift his head and scan the balconies. If one or both of the goddesses were here, he didn't want to let them know he'd made them.

"You're in on it... All three of you are working together." The Dark entity put together out loud, hanging his head in his hands for a moment. He dragged them down into a prayer position below his chin. He was nowhere near praying though. Sophocles was clearly referring to the Evilswarm virus which had plagued all the duel tribes of old. It nearly destroyed them all to conquer the virus and eliminate. Now it was on the horizon again and everything Tenebros stood for was on the line.

Realising another thing, Tenebros reached his gloved hand out and touched Sophocles' chest, over his heart. His fingers were millimeters from Sophocles' bare skin. Now that his mind was clearer, he could feel the difference. There was no electrical charge between them, the air around them didn't heat up from the opposing forces sharing space.

Sophia was definitely here and she could lift their no touching rule whenever she pleased. She lied all those thousands of years ago about not being able to do anything... And Sophocles was on her side which meant that he knew that.

Tenebros put it all together that Sophocles really was just messing with him earlier. It must be Sophocles’ favourite trick to feign feeling for Tenebros. He met Sophocles' eyes and let the immense disappointment show. Disappointment in Sophocles, for banding together with their tormentors, but mostly in himself for letting him hope they could be anything more than enemies.

"Bingo~" Sophocles giggled, his smirk growing into a childish smile. "It's only natural that Tierra and I would work together, but you can imagine my surprise when Sophia wanted to go against you. This little fairy tale has been going on far too long."

It hurt to see the disappointment in Tenebros eyes, or did it? Half the time Sophocles couldn't even tell which were his thoughts and which were the Evilswarm. Oh well. It's not possible to do dirty work without getting dirty yourself.

"I was surprised to see that Sophia could lift that rule too. But she is quite the fickle goddess after all. Kindness has never been her forte either."

At that point, Sophocles had started swaying to the music yet again, softly singing the lyrics to himself.

"And if I fall, I fall with you. My veins are what you're running through, through through, through. And now I'm fucked up."

He closed his eyes, the childish smile back on his face as he swayed. He had no doubt that both goddesses were watching. Tierra and Sophia would be foaming at the mouth if they had missed this.

"Come on, T. Just let go of this cycle, and we can go back to normal. Just you, me, Tierra, and Sophia!"

It hurt even more to hear Sophocles admit he was just messing with him now that the ‘no touch’ rule was gone. Tenebros stood frozen watching the Light sway. The Dark barely had a heart and now he could feel it shattering again. It did this every time he saw Sophocles and knew he had to leave. Had to carry on, knowing it was practically impossible to mend the damage between them.

Tenebros’ existence was just one cruel realisation after another. Now he had to come to terms with the fact that he was going to have to fight against three immortals when the next champions came around.

The hand on Sophocles’ chest clenched into a fist, taking the fabric with it as Tenebros pulled Sophocles down to him. If they could touch for the moment, the Darkness would abuse it to allow himself a selfish act. He cupped Sophocles face with his other hand and pressed their foreheads together. With all the energy he could muster through his heartache, he channeled a protective aura around them, trying to will Sophocles to really listen.

“Do what you want, Sopho, just don’t trust either of them at all. Betrayal is written in those two's beings... I won’t stand idly by this time. If you’re all going to band together, then the least I can do is give you all the fight of our existences… Look after yourself, please.” Tenebros’ voice shook a bit, but it was still strong.

Slowly, he let go of Sophocles and took  steps backwards. Of course he’d been dragged to the edge on the opposite side of the exit and the room was packed now. He turned from the light being, forcing himself to rip his eyes away, and started his way through the crowd toward the exit.

No one wanted to move out of Tenebros' way. Despite his short stature, he found it hard to push through the sea of people. Everyone wanted to be as close to the stage as possible and didn't appreciate the dark being just trying to leave. He swore as he heard his name barked in irritation.

"Tenebros!"

Of course the crowd wouldn't let him pass, Sophocles was manipulating them not to. Why now of all times was he choosing to run after Tenebros? Out of all the countless other moments he fled the Light, the most he'd ever gotten in response was cursing and name calling. The crowd parted for Sophocles quickly and he caught up to the dark entity. The crowd closed back around them as the Light encircled his arms around around the Dark and made them face each other.

"What the fuck kind of answer was that? You can't just walk away from this." Sophocles snarled. He was probably expecting Tenebros to be obstinate, defiant, chastise him. 

But Tenebros couldn't find the will to even look Sophocles in the eye. Instead he hid his face in the Light's chest, his hands bunched in the folds of Sophocles’ shirt.

“Now our bodies moving in slow motion, yeah. I know you didn't ask for it, I know you didn't need my love, You thought you were immune to it…”

These songs were not helpful in the least. They didn't sway or move, just existing in that moment.

Why did it have to be so damn hard to walk away from him? Tenebros was hyper aware of their differences and all the reasons why he shouldn't give Sophocles the time of day. And yet… he still let his mind think ridiculous thoughts. Why can't he and Sophocles just stop fighting and run away? Or at least they could band together and find a way to get rid of the goddesses. Less torment for everyone.

Tenebros couldn't find the words, so he borrowed the lyrics from the song Sophocles enchanted him with earlier, "Give me a reason I should stay."

He felt Sophocles stiffen around him.

“Why should I, it's obvious isn't it? It's like I said everything can go back to how it was.”

Tenebros pulled back, taking the risk to look at Sophocles. For once, it looked like the Light being was a little confused as his eyes searched Tenebros’ for answers. The words came out before he could stop them.

“I want more than that.”

Now Sophocles looked very puzzled. There were a lot of ways to interpret what the Darkness meant. Tenebros felt the arms around him tighten.

“T, that’s not very descriptive. I can say I want more than the destruction of the universe, and you could still find a million ways to fulfill that,” Sophocles reasoned, trying to understand how he was supposed to answer. “What could you possibly want more than to go back to how everything was?”

“I want us… to be more… than that.” Tenebros admitted quietly, not even certain Sophocles would be able to hear him over the music. Simply saying the words out loud made the dark being's head spin. He immediately wanted to take them back. He was letting on too much and he already knew the Light didn't reciprocate, there was no point in trying. Gods, he hoped it wasn't plain on his face. Tenebros moved his gaze from Sophocles’ eyes to his lips.

Sophocles didn’t catch what Tenebros said, instead looking off towards one of the balconies. He could already tell Sophia was going to have his head for haou long this was taking. He turned his gaze back to Tenebros, sighing. The longer this took, the more likely Sophocles would end up with a punishment from the goddesses and a migraine from the virus.

“Tenebros please, just give up on this damn cycle and come back where you belong. With the Goddesses and with me.”

“I don't want anything to do with those two.” Tenebros said, agitation creeping in at the mention of the goddesses, “I belong with you, just you, Sopho. Regardless of which of us wins. I want it to be you and I standing at the end of this.”

The bands lights started an intense strobe effect which made the crowd jump and dance with joy. It also caused momentary moments of pitch black, limiting everyone's sight.

“SHIT!” Sophocles swore, his grip on Tenebros tightening subconsciously. The Light couldn’t see two feet in front of his face, especially in this kind of darkness. It didn’t matter how old he was, Sophocles wasn’t fond of any form of darkness without Tenebros. While they were enemies, Sophocles couldn’t help keeping Tenebros flush against his body, pouting. “I swear, I’m gonna kick Sophia’s ass for this. I’m sick of her little games.”

Tenebros sighed as he raised his voice to account for the increased volume of the crowd, “Sophocles did you hear me? I'm not giving up on this cycle, but I'm not giving up on you either. You know those two are just going to betray you and I think you and I could rise against them-”

The concert went pitch black, save for three blue spotlights on the band as the tune they sang became more melancholic than upbeat. Plenty of people applauded as they recognised the song. No one could really see anything, save for Tenebros. He snaked his arms around Sophocles and held tight to the Light as the crowd pressed forward to be closer to the stage.

A short growl came from Sophocles when Tenebros spoke. “Drop it, would you? You should know by now that going against Sophia and Tierra isn’t going to accomplish anything.” As they moved closer to the stage, Sophocles rolled his eyes, the virus snapping at him for allowing the Dark that close. “Tenebros, I’m going to hit you if you don’t let go. I have other places to be, chaos to start, lives to ruin. And I can’t do any of it if you plan on just holding me.”

Damn it, Sophocles was dead once he was back with the Goddesses. No doubt Tierra would start poking at the newest cracks in his disguise, and Sophia would probably wring his neck for taking so long. How wonderful.  He attempted to remove the Dark’s arms as best as he could while essentially blind. Instead, he found himself even closer to Tenebros, causing a blush of his own to appear, cooling the temperature of the air around them.

“You're the one who ran after and grabbed me, remember?” Tenebros reminded the Light, his breath hitching at their proximity, able to see perfectly in the dark. “I've staved off you three by myself for some time. Imagine if we teamed up against them, Sopho, no more roles. No more rules. Why go back to being under their mercy? Just us presiding over everything… together, side by side.”

As he spoke, the Dark used the arms around Sophocles’ to pull them closer still. Their faces inches apart. While they were still shrouded in his element, Tenebros stood on his tiptoes to close the gap between their lips. His body heat skyrocketed as he pressed his lips gently to Sophocles'. Somewhere in his head, he was screaming at himself for being so utterly stupid and reckless. Another part of his mind made Tenebros slide one of his hands to cradle Sophocles’ face.

Sophocles’ mind went blank attempting to process what was happening. Tenebros was kissing him. Actually kissing. Some part of the Light’s mind screamed at him to pull away, to push Tenebros off and run away. But some small part urged him to kiss back. Surely, Sophia and Tierra wouldn’t know if he did, right?

You know what? To hell with what the Goddesses thought, Sophocles didn’t know if he would ever get this chance again. So, tentatively, he moved his arms around Tenebros’ neck, one hand moving to inter-tangle with the Dark’s hair. He gently pressed into the kiss, uncertain if Tenebros would pull away, all while the Evilswarm screeched its displeasure. The Light fully ignored it, determined to get lost in Tenebros’ touch while he had the chance.

When the dark being felt Sophocles kiss him back and move his hands, Tenebros deepened the kiss. His mind was a complete wreck as his romantic feelings for Sophocles returned in full force. He didn't care if his feelings weren't truly reciprocated, his first kiss was still Sophocles’. Tenebros hummed at feeling the Light's fingers in his hair. They'd never been able to touch skin to skin and now here they were kissing. Seriously kissing one another.

Tenebros breathed Sophocles’ nickname between kisses, somehow finding a way to press himself closer to the other. He had no intention of breaking the kiss, he would stand there with his lips against Sophocles’ for as long as possible. For this moment, he could pretend everything was fine, that they were just two boys at a concert letting themselves get swept up in each other. For this instance, Tenebros could call himself Sophocles’. Even if this was all they ever had, it could fuel Tenebros for another millennia. He wasn't going to give up on Sophocles, not when they kissed each other like this.

Sophocles melted at Tenebros saying his nickname, the one he hadn’t heard in decades. It warmed his very soul and easily washed away the screeching of the virus. His free hand found its way to Tenebros’ sweater, holding on as if the Dark being was his only lifeline. He started murmuring Tenebros’ name between kisses, switching between his full name and his nickname.

As the kisses got deeper, Sophocles nipped at Tenebros’ bottom lip, with a soft hum. He couldn’t help how needy he got, Sophocles truly didn’t know if he’d get this chance again, and he planned on making full use of it.

Involuntarily almost, Tenebros let out a little whimper and opened his mouth for Sophocles. Both of his hands gripped Sophocles’ neck now, desperately trying to hold on to this feeling with the light being. His name kept slipping past Tenebros’ lips, his voice painted with want and need. He knew this wouldn't last forever with the goddesses watching from the wings. Who knew what they would do if they saw them? Who knew if their plan was get Sophocles to be the honey trap to lure Tenebros to their side? He didn't want to leave Sophocles’ with those two, but he knew it would take more than kissing to sway the Light to switch sides.

Sophocles had just slipped his tongue into Tenebros’ mouth, his hands moving to cradle the Dark’s face. He also tilted Tenebros’ head back slightly, deepening the kiss and stroking the scar on the elder’s cheek.

Although, Tenebros wasn't sure how strong he could be if Sophocles asked him to stay again after this. This is why them being involved in this of all times was dangerous. Tenebros’ love for Sophocles was his biggest weakness. It would probably only take Sophocles several meaningful words to convince Tenebros to let it all go.

Fortunately or unfortunately, Tenebros wouldn't have to make that decision. At the moment the music crescendo, the concert hall was flooded with bright, white light. The intensity made Tenebros wince and hide his face in Sophocles’ neck. He hated breaking his connection with the light being, but the intense brightness threw him off. Now Tenebros was flooded with fear and anxiety at what Sophocles’ reaction would be.

Once the lights flared up, Sophocles’ pouted when Tenebros pulled away, only to give a small whine as Tenebros burrowed into his neck. Just why was he so sensitive there? How long has he been sensitive right there? Sophocles’ mind continued to wander, rendering him oblivious to the rising temperature between Tenebros and him. He ran his hand through Tenebros’ hair, trying to coax him into showing his face again. As his hand touched the Dark’s skin, Sophocles’ eyes widened and he pushed Tenebros away in pain.

“FUCK!!” No no nononono this means Sophia’s had enough and Tenebros needs to get out of there. Now.

          Tenebros recoiled from Sophocles, hissing at the familiar pain. He met the Light's gaze with his own wide eyes which revealed the vast amount of stars which had accumulated. Of course now that Tenebros realised what was happening, they were starting to fade. Sophia had caught them and that was it.

“Sopho, I-”

   A chilling female laugh filled the space, effectively interrupting the Dark. The concert continued around the immortals as if nothing was amiss.

Tenebros’ cheeks were still darkened with a dark grey blush and he could still taste Sophocles. He already missed sharing breath with the light being and certainly didn't want to leave him now.

“Well, well, well… look who has decided to grace us with his shadowy presence.” Rang out the voice of Sophia who was throwing her voice so the two male immortals couldn't pinpoint her.

“T, you need to leave. Now. Before she actually tries something,” Sophocles whispered, looking away from the Dark being. Gods above, why didn't he just let Tenebros go? Why did Sophocles force him to stay?

“My, you've lost your manners, haven't you Sophocles? Telling that pest to leave without giving proper greetings to Sophia and I?”

Tierra didn't even attempt to hide, watching the two entities from the side of the crowd, a wide teeth-baring smile resting on his face. “Dear Sophia, it seems like we caught the children out past curfew~” he growled, his eyes half lidded.

Sophocles had made eye contact with the God of Destruction, and he refused to break it. “Go now, T. Tierra's has been vying for the chance to tear you to shreds.” Fear and concern slipped into his voice as he motioned for Tenebros to go.

“You're right, Tierra dearest. Seems we'll have to think of appropriate punishments for both of them. Something special to suit each of their misdeeds.” Sophia spoke in a pseudo sweet voice. She still hid among the crowd, purposefully, always with a dramatic flare.

Tenebros cursed himself for not having just teleported he and Sophocles away when the lights went out. He had so many things he wanted to say after what just happened. He resented that their reality was he had to leave without the man he was in love with. Now the goddesses were relying on Tenebros to stick to his nature and not make a scene. To not mess with mortals. He wasn't exactly surprised Tierra wanted to tear him apart, Tierra was that way with practically everybody.

The Dark had an idea on how to get himself out, thanks to this band's lighting cues. There was no time to argue Tenebros stepped as close as he dared to Sophocles, so even if Sophia appeared next them, only the Light could hear. His short stature allowed Sophocles to keep his scarlet eyes on Tierra.

“Leaving you here will be the hardest thing I've ever done, second only to leaving you before this whole mess started with me not believing you over these evil crones. I should've picked you then. Know that, Sopho.” His voice was shaky, it held more emotion in it then he'd used in decades, but he was dead serious. Tenebros was a little teary, but he blinked them back. With his senses cast out, Tenebros found a fire alarm and pulled it.

Immediately, the venue erupted into chaos as the sprinklers’ ice cold water fell on the crowd. Within a few seconds, the water reached the sound and light board. Terrific electronic screeches sounded from the speakers and the lights flickered and defaulted to the strobe strobe setting before casting the venue in darkness.

The crowd went in every direction taking Tenebros away from Sophocles. In the pitch black, he shifted into his formless mist and sneaked through the crowd, unable to be caught in this form.

Sophocles flinched in response to the sudden makeshift rain, internally swearing when the lights went out. “Wait, T! Fuck, this would have been easier if you have left beforehand,” he growled in frustration. Why did Tenebros say that? What was his reasoning for it? All it did was confuse Sophocles even more. And he's tired of being confused. Tired of being left out of the loop when Tenebros is involved.

He started feeling for a wall to situate himself when a harsh voice spoke next to him.

“I wasn't expecting him to leave you all alone, Sophocles. How cruel of him.” The next thing the Light knew, Tierra grabbed the collar of his shirt, dragging him over to where Sophia sat, unbothered by the events seconds before. She looked as pretty as a picture, not a single hair out of place, whereas Tierra looked as if he had just finished physically fighting someone. His hair was wild, his clothes in slight disarray. They made the perfect dysfunctional couple.

“My bad Sophia. The problem child got away. But we have the next best thing as always. Tenebros’ personal favorite. Especially since he got rather handsy with dear Sophocles,” Tierra snarled, the sound ripping from his throat. Yeah, Tierra was pissed. That was the perfect opportunity to get rid of the Gentle Darkness. To bring back the fear of the unknown and the secrets held by the long dark nights.

“Don't you worry, that chaotic mind of yours Tierra. If my fellow little creator refuses to see reason and let go of this dollhouse. Then we just resume our plans. Tenebros will out of our way soon enough. In fact I think I have a few new ideas on just how to hasten the Gentle Darkness to his downfall.” Sophia insisted, looking Sophocles up and down. She stood up in one fluid, graceful motion to approach the destructive immortals. She grabbed Sophocles’ jaw roughly.

“Who would have thought you could work things out after all this time? Did you confess to him again? Looks like it worked out better than last time, but not enough to sway him...” Sophia giggled. Her tone sounded like she was talking to one of her favourite dolls instead of a sentient being.  “Such a shame, I was going to let you keep him too after we erased everything.”

[motherofmymotherreclist]

Forced Bonding

·       The Tie That Binds by leonidaslion (Supernatural, Explicit, 3K, 2011)

o   No one asks Sam what he wants.

o   [Wincest, incest, non-con elements, forced bonding, angst, John is a shitty parent, minimal smut]

o   This is the angsty fucked up version of a forced bonding fic. But I’m trash, so I love it.

·       Necessity by notboldly (Star Trek, Mature, 14K, 2010)

o   When Jim is attacked by a telepathic species, Spock bonds with him to save his life.

o   [slow build, romance, minimal smut, telepathy, empathy, bonding]

o   A classic forced bonding to save your life fic. Focuses on the discomfort of the sudden intimacy and how that brings them together.

·       ♥ ♥ Then You Think Again by leah k (blinkiesays) (Teen Wolf, Mature, 22K, 2012)

o   "You had no idea that it was going to work!" Stiles throws his hands up. Why is Derek the most frustrating werewolf in the history of ever, why is Stiles even helping him, why is this his life? ��"Why did they even believe you in the first place?" Derek says, "You reeked of me," which is unfair.  Stiles only smelled because he'd gotten covered in Derek's bodily fluids trying to staunch the bleeding.

o   [bond or die, hags made them do it, bonding, forced intimacy, empathy, useyourwords!Derek, humor, sarcastic!Stiles, UST, pining, werewolf instincts, scent!kink, minimal smut]

o   Another one where Stiles’ voice is on point. Funny and tense with the UST. Forced bonding for the win. Their relationship builds really nice and organically.

·       Here Comes Your Man by hannahrhen (Avengers, Teen-Explicit, 25K, 2013)

o   (Reluctant!Soulmate AU) An unexpected bond forms between Tony Stark and one of his greatest enemies. But not everything before is forgotten, or forgiven.

o   [Tony/Loki, forced intimacy, dub-con, angst, bickering, denial of feelings]

o   This relishes in the awkwardness of forced intimacy as Tony has no understanding or patience for the bond. It’s laid out as a series, but really this should have been chapters of one fic.

·       ♥ ♥ Choices by Kethrua (Dresden Files, Mature, 28K, 2011)

o   In an AU to Changes, Harry sold himself to John Marcone instead of Mab. They both take a while to adjust to this. Written for the Kinkmeme, for a prompt requesting both serious treatment of the issues and smut. Contains non-explicit reference to past child abuse and rape.

o   [bonding, dubcon, magic, power imbalance, healing, hurt comfort, smut, trust issues]

o   I love this fic so much. It has perfect pacing and character development. The love and growing trust between the characters is so obvious and yet understated.

·       A Shove Towards Love  by General_Button (Voltron, Teen, 31K, 2016)

o   A simple rescue mission turns into chaos when the species on the planet Novaria take an interest in the lives of two of its paladins.

o   [Klance, meddling aliens, aliens made them do it, but there’s no smut, bickering, pining, mind meld, forced proximity, soul bond]

o   This is great example of the trope. Keith and Lance are somehow both pining and acting like they can’t stand each other at the same time, and you just want to smack them, until you don’t.

·       ♥  Debt of Honor by Brianna Falken (Star Trek, NC-17, 33K, 2009)

o   Six months after being taken prisoner and raped by a Vulcan captain, Kirk finds that same Vulcan is now being assigned as his first officer when peace between Vulcan and Earth is declared. Originally published in the print fanzine Beyond Dreams 7 (2004)

o   [Non-con, non-reform Vulcan, super angst, rape recovery, healing, bonding, slow build]

o   This starts with a pretty graphic rape scene so please take care of yourself, but if that isn't your trigger or you can get past the non-con, this is a lovely story about forgiveness and healing. It’s actually one of my favorite star trek fics, something about the characterization both breaks my heart and gives me all the feelz. Literally the definition of a fandom classic since it came out of a fanzine.

·       Defendere by Lomonaaeren (Harry Potter, Mature, 37K, 2012)

o   When Harry stumbles into a magical ritual meant to enslave Draco, he manages to create a bond that leaves Draco with some free will. And the ability to irritate Harry in the name of "guarding" him.

o   [Drarry, forced soul bond, dub con, lots of consent issues, free will issues, slow build, pining, UST, angst, forced intimacy]

o   This one felt weird because of all the consent issues, but it does deep dive into the forced bonding and intimacy, and it’s well written. I’m just not sure I think this relationship is actually healthy, but it’s fanfic so, ehhh. The author does address the consent issues, don’t get me wrong, I just couldn’t 100% believe that they were solved.

·       Unexpected Consequences by lauren3210 (Harry Potter, Explicit, 39K, 2015)

o   Harry was going back to school. He was going to play Quidditch, sleep in lessons, hang out with his friends, and generally just enjoy being a kid for a change. And he was also going to do it while being bonded with Malfoy, because apparently life was just going to continue throwing curveballs at him. Harry didn't know why he expected anything different.

o   [Drarry, slavery sort of, consent issues, slow build, healing, enemies to friends to lovers, trust issues, magic, bullying]

o   Draco is completely in Harry’s power and must learn to trust his jailor. It’s very good. One of those classic Drarry fics IMO. It’s what Defendere could have been.

·       ♥ Present  by reillyblack (Teen Wolf, Explicit, 112K, 2018)

o   When Stiles's best friend Scott presented as a werewolf, it was just the worst. Worst by far was that it meant Scott had to leave immediately to live with the werewolf pack in the mountains -- which no one knew anything about. Stiles couldn't even visit, so he only got to see Scott once a month when he came back to visit his mom. It sucked. A year later, he presents too.

o   [world building, ABO dynamics, werewolf dynamics, scent kink, inventive werewolf world, like—super inventive, soul mates, Oblivious!Derek, plot, smut, UST, pack dynamics, pack bonding, BAMF!Stiles, Stiles doesn’t take shit from anyone]

o   As you can tell from my tags, this fic has precious and wonderful world building. I absolutely adored it. It’s everything you could want from werewolves. It’s also well plotted and fun as hell.

·       Rare Merchandise by CateAdams (Star Trek, Explicit, 120K, 2015)

o   Jim and Spock are kidnapped by Orion slavers during a diplomatic mission, transported to a location outside of Federation space and sold to a mysterious woman who commands an entire world. Once there, they are forced to participate in her terrifying agenda: their friendship used against them and their strength brutally tested. Can they survive and escape, or will they be used to bring down the Federation itself?

o   [For want of a nail, angst, action, Non-con elements, character torture, forced bonding, mind meld shenanigans.]

o   This is a very action oriented fic that will keep you reading late just make sure everyone lives through it. It has some mind rape elements though, so be careful there.

·       ♥♥  other things the road to hell is paved with by LuciaZephyr (Dresden Files, Explicit, 138K, 2011)

o   Book One of the Matter of Chicago series. Diverges from the canon plotline from Fool Moon, chapter 23, running on the idea of Marcone not holding the Idiot Ball and thus getting Harry to sign his contract. Very slow burn romance. Essentially an AU take of the entire series.

o   [slow burn, deliciously slow burn, magic, power imbalance, magical contract, Oblivious!Harry, manipulative!Marcone, trust issues, plot]

o   This is one of those perfect fics. I don’t know what else to say; look up a summary of the Dresden Files and then read this if you haven’t read the books. It’s better than the source material. The bond is more an oath of fealty/obedience than the more traditional telepathy or empathy version.

·       Human is Just a Word by lady emebalia (emebalia) (Teen Wolf, Explicit, 173K, 2017)

o   Getting claimed by a werewolf has so not been on Stiles' agenda for the night. But at least he can choose whose human pet he's going to be. That's a plus, right?

o   [fuck or die, forced bonding, so much angst, slow build, pack dynamics, werewolves are known, BAMF!Stiles, scent kink, forced intimacy]

o   This has a lot of similar qualities to Present, so if you liked that, then you’ll probably like this too. It has a different concept of the intimacy of wolves and enough drama/tension to burst a blood vessel.

·       Bond by Anna Fugazzi (Harry Potter, Mature, 204K, 2006)

o   Yet another one of those Harry and Draco Are Forced To Be Together By Something Beyond Their Control And Then Stuff Happens Leading To Twoo Wuv stories.

o   [Drarry, fandom classic, fuck or die, UST, pining, smut, they eventually fuck like rabbits, magic compulsion, bonding, mystery, angst, loss of virginity]

o   This is the OG best of the best of Drarry bonding fics. If you haven’t read it and you like either Drarry or the bonding trope, then what even are you?

·       ♥♥ The Saffron Soul by BeautifulFiction_FMA (Fullmetal Alchemist, Explicit, 267K, 2010)

o   When a serial killer blurs the lines of alchemy in an effort to seal two souls together, Ed finds himself under suspicion from the police. Can he prove he is innocent, or are he & Roy doomed to suffer the consequences of the killer's ideals?

o   [RoyEd, BAMF!Edward, BAMF!Roy, murder mystery, action, adventure, dream sharing, empathy, plot, smut, slow burn]

o   This is one of my favorite fics of all time. I’ve reread it countless times. The characterization is amazing, the plot engaging, and the writing wonderful. All of her FMA works are great but this is the masterpiece.

[camachameleon]

Cam’s Voltron Fic Rec 3/∞

VLD Rec Lists:  [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] Here’s a Fic Masterlist for my other fandoms. ( ** =  favorites )

    **Recoil/Release by Cheshyr

Word count:  22,387 (13/13)

Summary:  When Keith is bitten by an alien creature with venom that causes your dominant emotions to be amplified, the team is ready for a day of dealing with an incredibly angry paladin.

Which means they’re not ready at all for what actually happens.

Comments:  The almost stream-of-consciousness writing of Keith’s parts are really gut-wrenching because it’s as if you are experiencing it with him. (Warning for panic attacks- if you are triggered at all by that sort of thing you may want to sit this one out, it gets pretty graphic). A couple good song pairings for this fic to set the tone are Broken Crown and World Gone Mad.

    **Synergy by Kokochan & Spanch

Word count:  74,064 (10/10) 

Summary:  The vines were large, stiff, gnarly, and thick-stemmed, with blue leaves as big and round as dinner plates, but Shiro’s battle-arm was able to sever several long straggles with ease. The vines draped easily enough over the shuttle and hid it quite handily from view. “Good enough, I suppose,” Shiro said, glaring at the empty greenish-blue sky. “Come on, let’s… Hunk? What’s the matter?”

Hunk was staring at something behind him. “Shiro, don’t make any sudden moves just now, but there’s a really big lizard thing standing right behind you. Um. Two of them.”

Surprised, Shiro turned, albeit carefully. He’d never even heard them approach. That was rather impressive, considering the size of the beasts. It was as though someone had taken a pair of Arizonan horned lizards and rebuilt them more on the lines of a tiger without leaving out any of the spikes, then expanded them to about the size of an Indian elephant and added six large, intelligent blue eyes. Understandably, Shiro froze in place.

Comments: OH. MY. GOSH. OK. SO. This bad boy is Part 1 of 3, so far, with a total series word count of 241,404 at the moment. This beautiful titan of a series is named Of The Pack, and it updates with great speed, considering it has two top tier authors working on it. The several OCs in this story are so lifelike and realistic and fit so well into the universe that I forget that they aren’t actually canon and I kind of miss them when I’m reading other Voltron fics. My favorite part is the world-building it does. Everything about this fic is so dynamic and multi-dimensional, from it’s characters to the epic plot - this is the exact opposite of lazy writing. I am so here for badass Pidge, and the matriarchal Galra culture and the dragons. I👏LOVE👏THIS👏FIC👏

Also there’s magic! (with a scientific explanation, of course)

A cool song that I think goes nice with this fic is Heroes by Måns Zelmerlöw.

  The Kids Are Alright by pugglemuggle

Word count:  10,430 (3/3)

Summary:   Three Garrison Cadets Missing After Freak Satellite Crash

By Mara Garrett, News Editor | The Guardian | Monday, June 13, 2103 7:40 A.M. ET

Two seventeen-year-olds and a fifteen-year-old went missing Friday night after a rogue satellite crashed into the desert a few miles away from the Galaxy Garrison Training Facility, reports say. Garrison officials were quick to cordon off the area, claiming many of the remaining satellite fragments were dangerous and unstable. Government search parties have been sent out into the surrounding desert areas. Details are forthcoming.

—

Her brother is missing. Lance’s sister isn’t about to sit quietly while the Garrison keeps lying to the press. No—she’s going to get to the bottom of this.

(Or: The paladins’ families team up to find their kids and overthrow the corrupt Garrison regime. Told through news articles, prose, the internet, and art.)

Comments:  The format of this is very intriguing and fresh. We get to see scenes of our favorite paladins through the eyes of their friends and families, from before they disappeared and the aftermath. The open ending is still satisfying and leaves you with a sense of determination and hope for these characters that you just couldn’t help but get attached to. If you’re big on government conspiracies then this is the fic for you!

  **Patty Cake by Froldgapp

Word count:  7,829 (6/6)

Summary:  Quiet, aloof, and alone, Keith is distant from the rest of the team. Hunk begins to suspect why, and it’s only when the red paladin pushes himself too far, the Voltron gang realise he’s just as vulnerable as the rest of them.

Comments:  Aaaaahhh this fic. Something about this one has me coming back to reread it all the time even though I always cry. It is just so angsty but in a more poignant, sharp, breathless kind of way. Some of the things the characters say send painful stinging jolts into your chest and you can feel your heart cracking and then you get angry because how dare (I mean ch4 tho holy sh*t). I just want to hug Keith so much ugh. Hunk’s protectiveness of Keith gives me the strength to finish this masterpiece every time. Also, this can kind of be Sheith if you squint (or not, if you don’t).

  The Message by Shipstiel

Word count:  132,787 (45/45)

Summary:  (4:07) okay, but considr this, and hear me out here (4:08) so like, a photobooth u can do with ur pets like there’ll be lil costumes that u can dress them up in, and u can do liek, period costumes and shit with them (4:09) omg, can u imagine, u and ur cat/dog, and theyre in a lil 1800s dress and one of those lace umbrella things omg so cute

(4:15) Why the FUCK are you texting me at four in the morning with this

— 

Keith is texted by accident by some idiot one day, and honestly he’s not even sure why he responds. Or why he keeps responding. Yet somehow he finds himself drawn in, and okay, so maybe this fool is mildly entertaining after all. Who would’ve thought.

Comments:  Slowburn Klance Wrong Number AU. These two are so cute I just can’t. This is the perfect story if you are looking for something effortless and relaxing to read. Even though this contains some softcore Langst, it is still a very cute and heartwarming story about two dorks slowly falling in love. It features Lance’s mother who I fell in love with here, and the kind of supportive nosy best friends that everyone wants in real life (i.e. Hunk, Pidge, and Allura).

  **The Quiet by MilkTeaMiku

Word count:  66,700 (32/32)

Summary:  Does he not realize he’s dead?

Keith can see ghosts. As a part of his Garrison training, he’s sent to a hospital to do one year of medical clerkship - it’s there that he meets a charmingly irritating chose who definitely needs to learn what boundaries are.

Comments:  Modern Ghost AU with eventual Klance. This fic is the most suspenseful story I have ever read in my life. Idk if it’s just me, but I just have this feeling building up paragraph by paragraph of an impending… something. And it has my heart racing which is crazy because it isn’t even particularly fast-paced. There’s just a heaviness to the words that have the hairs on the back of your neck prickling. I literally have to take a breather from reading sometimes to calm down. 

A couple cool songs I think set the mood for this fic is Smother and Mirror.

  Finding Home by spacegaykogane

Word count:  26,966 (6/6)

Summary:  After the wormhole collapses, Keith finds himself stranded on a strange planet. Alone. Until Lance comes along. With their lions dead and resources limited, Keith and Lance need to put aside their differences and work together to get home. Wherever that may be, now.

Comments:  Klance. I love Stranded fics where they have to work together to survive and bond over that. So yeah this one has some whump obviously, bc you know, crash landings aren’t very fun. This one is angsty but its balanced out by the fluffiness in the end.

  Cuddle Puddle by nothingwrongwiththerain

Word count:  46,782 (6/6)

Summary:  Unexpectedly, Shiro’s hand landed on the top of his head. Apparently with Lance and Hunk taking up all the shoulder real estate, Shiro would settle for ruffling Keith’s hair.

Keith was fairly certain his soul was about to detach and abandon his shaking body on the couch. He was surrounded, in the complete and total sense of the word, by other people. Not once before, not in his whole life, had he dealt with a situation like this one.

Or, five times Keith found himself too close for comfort and one time he couldn't get close enough.

Comments:  Klance featuring ace!Keith. Don’t be fooled by the fluffy summary, this is a very angsty fic with lots of Keith whump. Basically, as stated by the author, this story is about ‘Keith struggling with physical contact and learning to accept people care about him’. I love touch-starved Keith stories, like this one. I love the scenes with Kidge bros, featuring a super supportive Pidge. 

  At the Beginning by Sakuraiai

Word count:  64,203 (12/12)

Summary:  Inspired by Anastasia

King Zarkon of the Galra empire lost his only way in to the Kingdom of Altea. In his anger, he put a curse on the royal family. The young, adopted half Galran prince Keith disappeared when the palace was overrun, never to be seen again -- or so it seemed. The only surviving princess, Allura, grieving for her child, offers a reward for Keith's safe return.

Con artists, Lance and his best friend, Hunk plan to pawn off a phony to the princess, hoping to reap the rewards. They hold auditions and choose an orphan man who has a remarkable resemblance to the missing prince -- all the way down to his fluffy Galran ears.

Comments:  Can anyone say Anastasia AU?! I waited with baited breath for each chapter to come out and I was not once disappointed. I love the integration of the different alien races in this timeless story, it all works out so well. Keith just wants to find his mommy and I just want to cry. Also Kidge bros are still my fav as always.

  out of orbit by rbillustration

Word count:  78,135 (19/19)

Summary:  Dragged apart by Haggar’s attack on the wormhole, the paladins and Alteans struggle to survive and find one another again. Luck has placed them all within the same galaxy… but their fortune ends there. Lance is stranded with a badly-injured Shiro and his relief at finding their leader still accompanying him soon turns to terror. Keith may be the only who can rectify the situation - but the Galra have him in their grasp, and they don’t want to kill him. They want him as one of their own.

Comments:  ANGST. SO MUCH ANGST. A brainwashed Galra!Keith plus a Possessed!Shiro. This is the perfect recipe for disaster if I ever saw one. If lots of blood bothers you proceed with caution. I love stranded fics.

A good song rec for this one is Darkside.

  VLD Rec Lists:  [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] Here’s a Fic Masterlist for my other fandoms.

[aceofwands]

it wants to give us the exciting parts and the emotional pay off without actually doing any of the work, is the best way I can think to explain it Ria hateblogs Discovery: Episode 7 “[Poorly Written Time Travel] Magic to Make[s] the Sanest [Wo]Man Go Mad”

liveblogged to @kendradaynes

we had entirely 'last time on Discovery' before the intro credits, like not even a teaser ...

kendradaynes... That's an unusual choice

aceofwands I thought so too!

it was just Mudd being left behind on the Klingon ship. probs cause Mudd is gonna show up (we saw in the teaser last week). seems an odd choice too, like it was only a couple episodes ago, we haven't forgotten what they did???

close up of Michael's face, giving a personal log

oh lord

already paused it to write an awful line of dialogue down: "despite my fears, I seem to have found my place on this discovery"

discovery of WHAT

the dialogue is so bad Shin, so bad

kendradaynes..... What? That is...That makes angsty teenage fic seem well written

aceofwands: she's talking about the ship's settled into routine ... which ... what? aren't they in the middle of a war?!!!!!!!!

and about how she's made a friend in Tilly, and how she's taken comfort in her work

and how "this ship has become the most important weapon in the Federation's arsenal"

and I can't even

it doesn't even feel like they're at war! the way they go around on this shiny ship and talk about how it's settled into routine?????? 

kendradaynes... I want to send them all of DS9 s7 and Voyager's Year of Hell 2 parter and maybe Enterprise season 3 to show WHY THAT WOULDN'T WORK

aceofwands: Stamet's wacky drive piloting ability has "Given him access not just to unseen parts of space but his personality as well" and like ... that's a worry! WHY IS NO ONE WORRIED ABOUT THIS

kendradaynes THAT IS NOT A GOOD THING GET THAT MAN TO A PSYCHOLOGIST

aceofwands I keep pausing this ONE PERSONAL LOG

she confesses she finds some members of the crew more interesting than others (lol what others, they feel even more like background characters than any of the other shows somehow???) and it's her talking to Voq-Tyler

(people online have been debating how it's too obvious that he's Voq, but I don't have any faith in these writers not doing the really fucking obvious)

"Lt Tyler has suffered so much and still maintains such dignity and kindness" I really really hope he actually is Voq like wow I want them to be this bad at writing (and nothing I've seen so far makes me think they're any good at it)

“I fear my personal history interferes with my ability to forge relationships. I am among the others yet also apart." I can't get over this, it's like bad self-insert fan fic (I'm not even 5 mins in lol, I'd better let her finish her stupid log and stop pausing it lol)

oh lord, she's facing one of her greatest challenges so far ... they're having a party

they're ... playing ... beer ... pong ... on Star Trek

this is like a gross noisy college frat party ... on Star Trek ...

why is Michael not wearing casual clothes ...

kendradaynes... #weneedtheorville

aceofwands Orville's party in Pria had more dignity??? which y'know, the show is full of dick jokes

oh it's okay though, Tyler is giving a speech

wait did he just point to a guy who's "sacrificed for us" who had some sort of disability? I went back - there's a guy sitting on what I think is supposed to be a futuristic wheelchair I guess?

how did we get from It's Only a Paper Moon to this?

kendradaynes There are also... Very few disabling things that can't be at least partially cured by the 23rd century

aceofwands yeeeeah my thoughts exactly. but it was unclear and part of a dramatic speech so

Tilly left Michael and Tyler alone together at the party, but they were asked to report to the bridge

I still don’t know why everyone loves Tilly ... she doesn't seem like a cadet, unless you count the AOS crew as cadets ... again, everyone's too 2017

ummmmmmm. so Michael and Tyler were walking along the corridor. when she bumped into Stamets and knocked a container of whatsits over. and he hugged her and asked why she's apologising for a random moment that makes life so gloriously unpredictable and WHY IS NO ONE CONCERNED FOR HIM

kendradaynes... That makes sense. He sounds high

aceofwands ohthe Doctor has just shown up in this conversation out of nowhere. "I deeply apologise for my partner, lately he's been acting ... different"

WHY ARE YOU HERE IN THIS RANDOM CORRIDOR DOC! YOU WEREN'T WALKING BESIDES STAMETS??? WHY DID YOU TURN UP JUST TO BE PART OF THIS CONVERSATION

(I keep pausing it, I'm only 7 mins in, I might uh ... stop pausing it and try to keep up lol)

kendradaynes There are so many plot holes in this show

aceofwands they made a cybernetic augment for his arm?? 

then they asked what the deal between Michael and Tyler is ... and I just ... why is this show ... so ... clumsy? there is no nuance, no subtlety, it’s like they have to hit us over the head with everything like MICHAEL AND TYLER LIKE EACH OTHER OKAY AUDIENCE, DO YOU GET IT?

kendradaynes Honestly it feels like 18 year old self-insert fanfiction

aceofwands cut to the bridge. Saru and Lorca found an unidentified signal ... its some sort of biological space organism

which Michael knows a lot about

kendradaynes Of course. Because she knows everything

aceofwands protocol requires them to take care of it, because it's endangered, which is nice because actual Star Trek things

and um what

kendradaynes I hate her, jsyk

aceofwands they just beamed it into the cargo bay???????????????????

IT LIVES IN SPACE

IN VACUUM

HOW WOULD IT SURVIVE IN ATMOSPHERE AND GRAVITY???

kendradaynes welp that thing would be dead

aceofwands OMG IT HAS A DEMOGORGON FACE 

 some dude in a helmet hitched a ride inside its mouth and used it to get on board

its killed a bunch of people, but Michael escaped

oh its Mudd, to no one's surprise

kendradaynes Of course. Because self insert

aceofwands "did you really think you could leave me in a Klingon prison and suffer no repercussions?"

what have they done to his character

good fucking grief

kendradaynes*sigh*

aceofwands he's come here to find out why the Discovery is special, and is talking about how he's gonna sell it to the Klingons, but "not this time". so Mudd's causing a time travel loop. exploding their ship. the Discovery is blowing up. but now it's back to the party

this sucks

usually I LOVE time loop episodes

they're usually so fun! but this show is boring and dumb

oh man ... if you're gonna repeat scenes ... THIS IS THE BEST YOU'VE GOT???? them walking along a corridor talking

OH LOL it's Stamets. he's the only one who recognises the time loop. and everyone thinks he's crazy! "I need all of you blasted people to start listening"

why is this episode not about Stamets talking to someone?

why wouldn’t they listen to him???

Michael's all "oooooh how did Stamets know what it was going to be???"

.....had to pause it. Michael requested being in charge of the operation. Lorca: "I don't give a damn, I just want it done". then Tyler requested being in charge for security. and Lorca: "I still don't give a damn"

this. is. not. Star. Trek.

seriously

when there was a time loop on Next Gen and they started realising they HELD A FUCKING STAFF MEETING! and they realised through the poker game, which was clever! and everything about that was more fun and impressive than this shit has been in the first 15 mins!

the spore drive just activated, and they're all like 'why is this happening?". but obvs Mudd's in engineering

Tyler and Michael are threatening him with phasers, but haven't shot him on sight. oh they finally did. but there was a forcefield. Mudd's trying to figure out how the drive works. 

Michael: "You are mad."

Mudd: "No, I'm Mudd."

WHY

I wish the idiots who wrote this garbage would get stuck in a time loop and forced to watch this awful episode over and over until they figured out how to stop it from being so bad

then he yelled at them to tell him how to work it AND STAMETS WAS BEHIND HIM AND SHOT HIM IN THE BACK. and said: "As days go, this was a weird one" which is hilarious

except that I'm not even 20 mins in and somehow bored?

how can they make time loops boring?

they keep saying different things???? in the scenes????

is it a time loop or isn't it?

do they know or don't they?

this doesn't make sense!

kendradaynes That's... not how a timeloop works. It only changes when they realise it

aceofwands yeah it's clearly trying to jump to the parts later on, cause Stamets implies that they've looped many times already. but instead - as usual - it just comes across as .. confused? muddled? like it's not really a time loop because they clearly know it's a loop enough to change what they say, but not enough to realise they're looping???

kendradaynes Yeah that's not how time loops are meant to work and I'm mildly vexed

aceofwands Mudd has got Lorca to come down with him "I really can't take it from the top again Lorca"

ummmm Mudd's talking about how he's explained this to Lorca before, but needs his help to access part of the ship ... if he's aware they're looping then ... why is he so bad at ... I don't even know .... [I stopped being able to explain everything wrong with this episode’s plot around this point]

this episode is a primer in How Not To Write Time Travel

Stamets is explaining how he thinks he's outside of the loop: "it's getting really hard to keep it straight" lol

he needs Michael to talk to Tyler but they're about to loop, and Stamets wants her to tell him something so she'll trust him straight away next loop. and she did??? and he made a sad face and said he was sorry

don't make me have feelings with your decent acting Anthony Rapp

but also do they not have protocols for time travel or like anything else to share???

"now is usually around the time he kills the Captain" - can we stay in that when we fix the loop lol

"you kill a Starfleet captain they lock you up for ever" ummm do they really

LOL WE'RE GETTING ALL THE LOOPS WHERE MUDD KILLS LORCA AND IT'S ACTUALLY REALLY SATISFYING WATCHING HIM DIE

HE'S EATING A SANDWICH AND HAD LORCA BEAMED TO SPACE

53 TIMES LOL

AHAHAHAHAHAHHAA

OKAY

ACTUALLY HILARIOUS PART

loop back to the party: Michael and Tilly talking. Stamets appears, taps Tilly, "I just spotted the hottest guy over there and apparently, he's in a band! Have fun!" (she was explaining earlier how she used to be into soldiers but is lately into musicians, cause that's what passes for character development on this awful show)

genuinely made me laugh

Michael's secret is that she's never been in love ... which we knew from the way she acted earlier in the episode??? not even a secret

HIS DIALOGUE IS DIFFERENT

THIS ISN'T HOW TIME LOOPS WORK

oh that was enough for Stamets to prove he was telling the truth ... and she now has to talk to Tyler about mudd?? idk it's super unclear why this is happening or what they're hoping to achieve ?????

honestly this episode is a terrible muddled mess

...................had to pause it again

to explain this scene

I'm leaving out so much and you're probably confused (I'm watching it and I'm confused)

she blew her chance to talk to Tyler because she likes him, which Stamets points out, and she says she's out of her element, so he says 'dance with me, for science, so I can see what I'm working with ... 'and like .... helping Michael talk to the guy she likes .... .... so they can save the ship from a time loop ... is the worst idea for a Star Trek episode I've ever heard. and I've watched Threshold

stupid space lizards make more sense than this plot

she's wondering how people make connections

and Stamets is explaining how Dr Culber and he got together

because the Doc was humming terrible opera

I ... I ... this

I can't Shin

you'll have to watch this dumb show with me if you want to make sense of it

I have to go back and attempt

no I'll just type out this conversation

see if it makes any sense to you

kendradaynes This sounds like it's impossible to make sense of even while watching

aceofwands 

"Hugh and I fell in love after I told him to get lost." 

"That doesn't make any sense." 

"Love isn't logical." (they're slow dancing while this happens) 

"I was in a wonderful cafe on Alpha Centauri when three seats down comes this hideous humming. Have you ever heard someone try to hum Casselian opera?" 

"I can't say that I have." 

"Well I told him to stifle it or sit somewhere else. Instead, he sat right next to me. And he's been there ever since." [Michael looks as confused as I am] 

"After such a rude exchange. Why would he do that?"  

"I told him how I really felt. And he did the same. And we liked that about each other." 

"I'm good at honesty." 

"Never hide who you really are. That's the way relationships work."

... ............... I have no words for how little this scene makes sense. that is not how relationships work???? that is a terrible way for them to get together???? and most importantly WHY ARE THEY SLOW DANCING (hint because they realised having them stand around the corridors was fucking boring probably)

kendradaynes THAT IS NOT HOW RELATIONSHIPS WORK

aceofwands I KNOW RIGHT

THEY'RE OUT OF TIME ALREADY? NO WAY IT HAS BEEN HALF AN HOUR

lol Michael is pulling Tyler away to dance in this time loop, the lighting is very purple with lots of close ups of their hands on each other

had to pause it again I am dying of bad laughter at the nonsense

they're dancing and it's kinda sweet and they've got an almost hint at a sexy vibe .... and then Burnham goes "So I hear you were locked up in a Klingon prison cell with Harry Mudd"

whyyyy are they not having a staff meeting about this?

I mean I know Lorca is a jerk and all. but this approach makes ZERO SENSE! she's telling him the whole truth, while they dance ... Stamets is watching and looking bemused .... 

Tyler is like "why would he think I'd trust you?"

"Because I like you. And he thinks you like me too."

and he's like 'oh ... tonight's gotten weird but also very interesting'

WHY DO NONE OF THEM ACT LIKE REAL PEOPLE?

like ... how is it that Shakespearean, larger than life characters in previous series somehow feel more real and genuine????? these people just SOUND LIKE THEY'RE IN A TV SHOW????? like it sounds like TV dialogue!

I can't explain it

"if time really is repeating, this won't matter" and he kisses her. of course. 

maybe less dancing more saving the ship?

they're talking while dancing "he used to brag about robbing a Betazoid bank" 

!"a non equilibrial matter state" - a time crystal, which she learned about at the Vulcan science academy. which they haven't been able to perfect, but a 4 dimensional being must have perfected it, according to Burnham

good thing she knew all of this ??????????

IT'S SO BADLY WRITTEN SHIN

WHAT THE FUCK

there's no figuring anything out!

they just already know!!!!!! 

cut back to the bridge, wondering where Michael and Tyler are. Mudd appears, playing music

hahahahaha the computer addressed him as Captain Mudd: "I never thought I'd say this, but I'm actually tired of gloating"

he's found a weaponised dark matter ball in Lorca's stash of dangerous shit. and he's blabbing on about it "and if any of you were planning on being heroes - including you, random communications officer man" LOL (the guy just ran up to try to stop him) "you'll find there's very little I don't know."

Tyler and Michael burst out onto the bridge for some reason ????

tried to shoot Mudd, the forcefield is still there ... he chucked the dark matter at Tyler .... who dissolved .... 

Mudd: "well that was new"

why would they listen to him? Michael you KNOW IT'S A TIME LOOP

STAMETS WHAT ARE YOU DOING

WHAT

THE

FUCK

he told him to stop, because he can't watch Mudd kill any more people

I PAUSED IT UNTIL I STOPPED FEELING CONFUSED BUT I DON'T THINK I WILL EVER STOP BEING CONFUSED

why

would

he

tell

Mudd

what kind of plan .... 

why did ....

why

why

why

kendradaynes Is your brain broken?

aceofwands yes

Stamets gave himself to Mudd????? even though he knew it was a time loop?why would he do that?

Michael has figured out the space whale has a ship in its belly .... with Mudd's crystal energy source in it ..... 

how .... does Michael know about Stella ???? I can't explain this episode to you any more Shin ... you'd have to watch this nonsense for yourself

she has come to sacrifice herself .... because the Klingons want her more than the ship

"you'll get a lot for this ship, but what would I be worth to them?"

"what's in it for you?" "Lt Tyler" "Lt Tyler is dead" "Not for long" ... and then she ATE A DARK MATTER BALL .... to force him to reset the timeline .... 

NO

NO NO NO NO

HOW DOES STAMETS KNOW

WE DIDN'T SEE HIM AGAIN AFTER HE WENT OFF WITH MUDD

SO HOW DID HE KNOW TO TELL MICHAEL HER OWN PLAN

or are we supposed to believe she remembers?

this episode MAKES NO SENSE

has Stamets finally told the Captain? why is he on the bridge

yes ... she did tell them .... everyone there knows and Mudd's confused

Lorca greeted him "Captain Mudd, your chair" - offers his chair

he realised Stamets was "passing on notes"

"don't try to con a con man" "I'm not, I'm negotiating with a business man"

"why would a Federation Captain do that?" "I will not have a repeat of the Boran [sp?] [his past ship]"

this episode is complete rubbish

he's leading Michael and Stamets off to the transporter room to meet the Klingons

lol Stamets has found out about his wife Stella. they found out he's been running from Stella, not to her lol

this episode would have been clever if the time loop wasn't so poorly done!

they rewired the captain's chair to send the message to Stella and her father .... who's come to get him lol

why ... why are they even doing this? they're so obsessed with making a new Star Trek series, why keep bringing in old characters for no reason?

Michael and Tyler waiting for a turbolift, Stamets told them both that in a previous timeline they danced .... they're super awkward

OH LORD

"What I'm feeling is complicated, and strange" "It's okay, I'm not going anywhere”

STOP TELLING US YOUR FEELINGS MICHAEL

I actually think they're really cute? I would usually like so many of these characters! but wow the plots are so. bad.

and it's so clumsy!

holy crap that was bad

oh lord, Saru in the next ep, they're on a planet, there are Klingons and the Admrial being tortured

wow. that's over. and took me ages to watch because I had to stop it so often lol

I have watched a lot of time travel episodes in my decades as a Trekkie (and on other sci fi shows) and that has got to be worst I’ve ever seen! It was SO confusingly done!

they just have no internal consistency!

you have Mudd getting revenge and Stamets working against him ... really really poorly ... 

and all of their solutions to the problems just made no sense???

Stamets giving himself up to Mudd???

and then the final solution of them all working together ... it wasn't like in the Next Gen episode I keep thinking of, where they eventually realise they're looping and find the message in Data and it feels like they worked together to solve it

it feels like this show ... cuts corners

it wants to give us the exciting parts and the emotional pay off without actually doing any of the work, is the best way I can think to explain it

it was ... choppy and confused

that sums the show up to be honest.

they went on and on about how they’re telling a big serialised story, but it isn’t even? we’ve had these weird interlude episodes with Sarek and now Mudd where stuff just happens just because? and they keep TELLING us they’re fighting a war but it doesn’t feel like they’re in one! 

if they’re going to do serialised season long arcs then they need to do way way better, like I just binge watched 9 episodes of Stranger Things yesterday! I know what a good serial narrative looks like and this is not it!

and if they’re going to do episodic then they need to do way way better

the plot of this was just confused nonsense that was weirdly focused around Michael and Tyler’s relationship more than anything else ... it just feels like they’re mashing a bunch of random rubbish together and hoping it works, rather than like a carefully crafted story on either an episodic OR a serial level!

and now I’m just thinking about how much I want to go watch some fun time loop episodes - like man, give me SG1 stuck in a time loop doing stupid shit any day, at least that was fun AND made sense

[thornewoodhospitalblog]

After a lengthy conversation, the mods (the Bee Sisters) felt the group would benefit from a master list of questions and concerns brought to them over the course of the last 3 days. Each solution has been put into one of the three categories (Set-Up, Rules and Frustrations). A solution to each of these concerns have been written in bold. If you cannot agree to these solutions, we suggest messaging us immediately. If we are not messaged, that will be taken as your acceptance of these solutions.

"I’m confused about the timeline. What day is it when my starter goes up? How long do my threads last? What information do I know in one thread and not the other?” 

Most roleplays assume the time is semi-fluid. We’ve found some writers find this passage of time confusing. Therefore, we will be posting the date every morning (12AM GMT) along with Lakewood’s weather. This means, even if the thread takes a month to finish, if the starter was posted July 1st, it will still be July 1st in that thread. If you start two threads during the same day, whichever one that was created first will be first in the timeline. For example, if Lexus posts a starter tomorrow, July 1st, and Cameron responds to it July 2nd, the thread will still occur on July 1st. If Lexus replies to a starter created after the posting her starter on July 1st, that means the events in her starter transpired first. 

In the case of pregnancies and other time-dependent plot developments, we can stretch the timeline by saying a character is pregnant for about a month “roleplay time.” One trimester for each week, roughly. This can be discussed when you clear that plot line with us, as discussed in the rules. 

“How do characters (not writers) learn of the gossip posted about in the gossip blog?”

Only staff members have access to their cell phones, so it might seem difficult to conceptualize how patients get wind of Thornewood-related gossip. Cordelia, a fellow patient, also must abide by these rules. Therefore, the rumor mill she pioneers is not circulated via text messages, tweets, etc., but through word of mouth. It is not explicitly stated how characters overhear this gossip because the gossip blog is an optional resource. Some writers may choose to have certain characters of theirs interact with it, some not. As a result, though there are many ways for a character to overhear this gossip (whispering of NPCs in the halls, a canon character tells your character, etc.), we cannot explicitly say “Ann Forrester gathers all of Thornewood into one room to divulge the gossip every week,” because then the information becomes canon. There would be no option for the information (and we use this term loosely when it comes to gossip) to be taken or left. It would have to be included. 

"I’m struggling with writing/replying to open starters. Can’t this policy be optional?”

Our main goal is to help alleviate any problems you may be experiencing while at Thornewood, but this policy cannot be optional because it would do more harm than good for it to be so. Here’s why: when new writers join the roleplay and see starters from two weeks ago, they do not feel like they are contributing to the current story. Therefore, it is paramount that all writers must reply to 2 open starters within the first 2 - 3 days of their acceptance, and post one of their own. This ensures that there is a constant influx of open starters for new writers to reply to. Please understand that preexisting writers (writers who have been with us since the beginning, writers who have been with us 2 weeks ago, etc.) can and should also post open starters before acceptance dates in order to help out the new writers. If you are struggling to write open starters, we have guides to help with this process linked on our writing tips page and are more than willing to collaborate with you on starter ideas. Remember, an effective open starter contains dialogue and a situation another writer can respond to (ie: “did you hear about Ann Forrester?” [good example for a gif chat], or bumping in to another character and perhaps their coffee spills either on you or them, pulling a character down a vacant hallway to ensure they don’t get caught by the guard coming around the corner, commenting on the good/shitty food at Thornewood while in the dining room, etc.) 

"I’m nervous about the emphasis placed on grammar in this roleplay. Will you scream at me if I make a typo?”

Absolutely not. Our advertisements for this roleplay say that we are a “literate roleplay,” which means our writers write using proper grammar (no text speak like LOL or no capital letters, appropriate punctuation like apostrophes or commas, using the correct “too” vs “to”, etc.). We will never give a warning for a typo unless there are so many typos that it detracts from the understanding of the post. We have given a warning for grammar once, and this was after repeated attempts to stress the importance of “quality” responses. Fragment sentences, posts written in first person (this roleplay writes in third person) and posts written in present tense will result in a warning. In order to be marketable to other potential writers, we need to maintain a base level of literacy. This, by no means, translates to “every post most be perfect.”

“I don’t like the writing tips you post on the main, especially the meta-disrespect one!” 

Let me say this first, and then I’ll address perhaps not liking the tips: 

In short, tips should be discussed if they are not understood. Tips are optional things to consider, aside from god-modding and meta-disrespect. These tips are not sub-tweets, as we have given warnings about things before, like grammar, and do not have a “too vs to” guide. The meta-disrespect guide was worded in an aggressively funny way by its writer (aka not Thornewood) and explained by the staff (aka Thornewood) but it is not about a particular writer in Thornewood. Meta-disrespect is ignoring the personality of a character. Saying Cameron is a “fuck up” when he clearly is not due to the fact that he is a byproduct of growing up in an impoverished area like Camden, NJ, is meta-disrespect. Unless you truly believe that people who are raised in impoverished households are somehow fuck ups, which is actually a gross ideology and will not be tolerated in the roleplay as that could lead to OOC drama very, very quickly. In short, meta-disrespect is directly ignoring the personality of a character. Of course characters can have different interpretations of other characters. If your character is super macho and they meet Cameron (who is super outspoken and known to have an intimidating reputation as Thornewood’s oldest resident, as written in his bio) and they’re not intimidated by him; that’s fine. You should, however, comment “[Your character] noticed Cameron’s desire to intimidate [them] and while his tactics may have worked on a less headstrong person, [Character] refused to cower to him.” Therefore, you’re acknowledging a writer’s intention for their character, but you’re also staying true to your character and their natural reactions to all sorts of different people. 

So, about not liking the tips:

Take them with a grain of salt. They are optional things to think about. Writing as a hobby, we assume, means you want to improve just like we do. Therefore, we post guides we have found helpful in our 7+ years of roleplay group experience. If you ever have any other problems with the tips posted on the main blog and perhaps feel you’re struggling with what the tip suggests to do, and would like to follow the tip, message the main. We love to workshop writing!

"I’ve noticed that someone is online, they know they’ve owed me a reply for days, but they’ve replied to someone who gave them a response yesterday. I think they’re showing favoritism, what do I do?”

Favoritism absolutely sucks in a roleplay. This is not a problem that “has to exist” or “will always exist” and here’s why: we will be issuing warnings if we see repeated acts of favoritism. Of course, everyone misses a reply here and there, but if you’re frequently dropping your threads with a writer, that isn’t cool. If you’re frequently putting a writer on the back burner because you’re so invested in your other plots, that isn’t cool. We get that everyone has their “favorite” plot (be it a romance plot, a friendship plot, an enemy plot), but it’s not acceptable to only engage with that particular plot and not give replies to people you’ve owed replies to. Sometimes inspiration for a reply doesn’t strike so you have to move to another reply. That’s okay, but tell the writer you owe a reply to “hey, I’m having writer’s block for our thread! Give me [an hour, a day] and you’ll have a reply!” Sometimes certain threads just aren’t working, either, that’s okay, too! Just tell your writing partner, “hey, I’m feeling really stuck with this thread. Do you mind if we plot a little bit more instead? I just feel like our characters need more [in this example] fluff before our big angsty plot unfolds. Maybe our characters could sneak out in the middle of the night, or steal cookies from the kitchen, or maybe your character could find mine crying about her brother’s declining health in the hallway and your character can comfort mine?” Talk to your writing partner OOC, and if after contacting them you’re still not getting results — contact the mods! 

"My thread got dropped and my feelings are really hurt! What do I do?” 

It feels bad to be invested in a thread and then have a writer drop it. To avoid this kind of yuckiness in the future, we are implementing a rule that you must contact your writing partner if you’re dropping a thread. If you wanted to be really nice, you could even say something like “Hey, Casey! I love Lexus and Felicity, but I just really don’t think they’re connecting in this thread. Do you mind if we scrap it and start a new one? Maybe this one can take place in the garden? What if they got caught in the rain and had a huge mud fight?” Talk to your writing partner and if the problem persists — talk to the mods!

“Time-Sensitive special events seem restrictive. I have a great plot that I want to write about during this special Thornewood Event, but I don’t think I can do it justice in X days.”

We understand wanting to plot something super awesome for a Thornewood Event. The novelty of these events inspire greatness and plenty of possibilities for compelling plots. Thornewood-wide events place every character in the same room, which can be near impossible, and staff meetings do something very similar in the way that they allow the staff to directly interact with not only each other, but the elusive Charles Forrester and his wife, Ann. However, the novelty of these events would wear off if they were able to be played out indefinitely. For instance, if a staff meeting goes on until every writer ends their thread with their fellow staff member’s writer, the July staff member event could go on for months. Then what would we do during August when the next staff meeting occurs? That being said, we do understand that sometimes writers can get a little excited and plot a little too much for five days -- your mods have done that too, especially with Summerfest, our first ever Thornewood-wide event. Our warning to “plot accordingly” might have been difficult to hear over the loud shrieks of excitement. That’s okay!! Upon plotting with your fellow writer, if you both feel you cannot accomplish your desired plot within the allotted time, message the main to ask for an extension before the first day of the event.

Closing statement of an incredibly long post: 

While most mods do not offer explanations for their decisions, and this will not become an on-going practice in Thornewood, the mods felt the last two/three days have been wild enough to justify a little bit of an “unorthodox” response. We hope these solutions will provide more clear directions for everyone going forward so we can get back to our ships, guilty-pleasures and angst. To avoid such craziness in the future, we all need to move forward with the understanding that you must talk to the mods about any issues you’re having, as we will never be offended and will only seek to provide solutions for your problems. That said, do not approach us if your mind is already made up and we cannot change your leaving despite offering solutions to your problems. Things happen, we understand people leave. Sometimes you don’t have the time anymore, don’t have the muse anymore, whatever. All good. We’ve left roleplays before, too! We do not understand not communicating about issues until it is too late for a reconciliation. 

Best, 

The Bee Sisters

[captnxmarvel]

SWAN QUEEN FICRECS

FOREVER FAVORITE

1.     The Secret's in the Telling by pyrophoric                 Summary: "It's the sixth of October. A pivotal moment in Storybrooke's history and the turning point in Regina Mills' life. And it all began with a spell, a Sheriff, and a thief." Reaction: WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF!!!!!!!!!!!! (I know it is a slow start but give it a try and it’s all worth it.)

2.    The Worlds You Never See by writetherest Summary:    The lives I'll never lead / Couldn't make me sing / Could they? Could they? Could they?    **    As soon as she had stepped through the doorway, the door closed tightly. And only then, with Regina inside, did the lines, curves, and swirls shift and move, assembling themselves into words within the heart.    The Road You Didn't Take Reaction: *cry emoji*

3.     The Art of Being Extraordinary by purplehershey Summary: AU. Henry, age 23, decides to give the crowd what they want, what they really want. A story. So he tells them the only one he knows: the greatest love story of all time, and it just so happens, that this love story is his mothers'. Henry's on and off POV. WARNING: VERY ANGSTY MAY OR MAY NOT CONTAIN A CHARACTER DEATH Reaction:  I cried.

4.     Shadow Haven by Delirious_Comfort                 Summary:    Emma Swan is a PR agent who is sent on a holiday by her boss. Regina Mills is the owner of a private island named Shadow Haven. There is more to Regina than initially meets the eye. This story dips heavily into the BDSM subculture. Swan Queen romance / BDSM story.    Emma was silent for a long time. Truth be told, she had no idea if she wanted to stay here. She desperately wanted the break, but didn't want to spend her time with some stranger who had been hostile from the moment she had laid eyes on her. Hostility that had been replaced by semi-friendliness as soon as money had been added into the equation, and Emma wasn't sure how she felt about that.    "I don't know," Emma finally said.    "Give it one week, Miss Swan. If you are not enjoying yourself here on Shadow Haven at the end of that time, we will look into the possibilities of returning you home," Regina offered as she stood up from her spot on the couch and made her way over to Emma. She held out her hand to the younger woman when she reluctantly gave the gorgeous brunette a nod, "It is nice to meet you Miss Swan. My name is Regina Mills. Welcome to Shadow Haven, I do hope you will enjoy your time here." Reaction:            Definitely NSFW, This story is not just hot but I also love the development of Emma and Regina’s relationship.

5.      Bait and Switch by JuiceCup Summary: Henry Mills is sick and tired of his mothers skating around the truth and not realizing that they are perfect for each other and that they belong together.  So he has a plan to bring them together and convinces his grandmother to help.Robin and Marian had never left. The story starts out with MILD Outlaw Queen but there is NO KISSING and NO SEX, so NO WORRIES!  THIS is a Swan Queen story with major Swan Queen feels already in the first chapter! Reaction: DO NOT READ THIS WHEN YOU’RE GOING TO SLEEP! IT WILL KEEP YOU UP DUE TO MAJOR SWAN QUEEN FEELS!!!

6.      I'm Not A Writer I Just Drink A Lot About It by Exquisiteliltart             Summary: Regina decides to write her own happy ending and Emma helps. Reaction: So much feels!!! Fluff and Swan-Mills Family *sighs and watch them live happily ever after*

AU

·Don't Let Me Die In Florida by Exquisiteliltart Emma works as a brokerage administrator at a commerical real estate firm in Florida. Regina is a wealthy client who likes to take a 'hands on' approach to business.

·The Big Uneasy by SkinnyProcrastinator                 Emma Swan loves her carefree life in New Orleans but becomes exasperated when she constantly starts bumping into Regina Mills, a haughty and rude business woman on an enforced vacation in The Big Easy.

·Deliver Me by wistfulwatcher Bike messenger AU, in which Regina is a CEO that enjoys messing with Emma, and Emma does not back down. For the sake of her job, of course, and not because of the way Regina eyes light up when she's angry.

·lattes & lace by AnaG                 Regina's a successful, focused businesswoman running a burgeoning lingerie line that is just starting to gain international attention. Until one winter, an irritating woman opens up a coffee shop next to her studio... and generates constant distractions. But not all of the distractions are a complete disaster. Only few.

·Teacher's Pet by RegalChromaggia69 [NSFW] Emma Swan is starting her senior year this year and she's got a pretty easy schedule. But as her friends tell her about the Creative Writing teacher and how no one has passed her class with an A, what will she do? And who exactly is this 'bitch' as they claim her to be? Swan Queen-Student/Teacher AU. M for language and eventual smut.

·Butterfly Effect by misscanteloupe           In her final year of college, Emma finds she has more to account for than the extra credits she needs in order to graduate. Only... she doesn't expect it to come in the form of her newest instructor, Professor Regina Mills.

·Teaching Miss Mills by HelveticaBrown                 Teacher AU: Emma is a gym teacher, who moves to Storybrooke Academy after becoming disenchanted with her job back in Boston. Regina Mills is the Head of English who Emma somehow seems to keep having run-ins with, despite the best of intentions. Along the way, Emma adjusts to life in a small town, gets her teaching mojo back, and gradually grows closer to Regina.

·5 Times Regina Almost Froze and One Time She Got Fucked 5 Times: A Super Festive Swan Queen Christmas Story by Exquisiteliltart College AU, Swan Queen. Regina relies on Emma to get her home in time for Christmas.                

·I Wanna Dance With Somebody (Who Loves Me) by writetherest                 Emma Swan doesn't consider herself a star, but she finds herself thrust into the spotlight and competing as a celebrity dancer on Dancing with the Stars. Over the course of ten weeks, she'll struggle to learn to dance with her professional partner - Regina Mills - and may just end up dancing with somebody who loves her.

·step into my office, baby by foxbones This is what you get for doing the nice thing, Emma thinks. You do that whole Pay It Forward bullshit - you buy a lady some coffee and you pretend like it isn’t totally motivated by how she looks in a pencil skirt - and she goes and insults your business card and turns out to be your company’s new Executive Director. Real fucking cute.From now on, she is drinking tea. or, the one where they're in an office.

FLUFF

·Incoming Messages by hunnyfresh       Ruby makes Emma a dating profile. The only catch is that she's listed as a guy. That wouldn't be such a problem if Emma hadn't found Regina's profile and begins communicating with the Mayor          

·Your Hands Are My Castle, Your Heart Is My Sky by Exquisiteliltart 5 times Regina and Emma share a bed.

·Through a Rose-Coloured Camera Lens by aurorstorm Henry has to make a video presentation to his class about his family, which forces Regina and Emma to interact. Undoubtedly, cute bickering and fluffy moments make their way onto film. The resulting presentation might just cause Regina and Emma to finally realise their true feelings and begin to appreciate their quaint little family.

ANGST

·Bruises by starsthatburn AU: Henry is ill in hospital, and so when the time comes for Henry to know his birth mom, Regina is the one who seeks her out. However, when she arrives in Boston, Regina finds that Emma now has a family of her own. Trigger warnings for domestic violence.          

·always known by deceptivelycomplex3925                 "Tell me the truth."And Emma whirls around and Regina's standing in the doorway, eyes glittering with unshed tears, and she looks like she knows. Knows exactly why Emma got shit-faced last night. Knows exactly why she broke up with Hook. Knows exactly why she said those words a few moments ago.

·she's already ruined her makeup by deceptivelycomplex3925 "Emma," Regina breathes, a warning. Don't do this, it says. She can hear it in her head, the husky lilt of Regina's voice."I'm late with it, I know. I'm about five years too late with it but when have I ever been good with punctuality?"She gets a laugh out of that, something like a sharp exhale, something choked and small and laden with fondness, and brown eyes start to glisten with forming tears. Emma hates that she's the cause for this. She'll ruin her makeup.On her wedding day. This is her wedding day.

·An Ill Wind by neverenough04 Regina and Emma have gone from enemies to frenemies to friends to...something else. But the something else takes a backseat to their busy lives and their "true loves"...until it doesn't.A rare Tornado Warning has been issued for Storybrooke, and the women seek safety together in the basement of the police station. Their time together lasts a lot longer than they had envisioned when they find themselves trapped in the dark cellar.

·If The Blazer Fits by FlyYouFools (MK47) Emma decides to dress up like Regina for a Halloween party at The Rabbit Hole, a seemingly innocent decision that surprisingly leads to a relationship. The romance is openly feared by some and secretly despised by an unlikely source, who plots to end it.

CANON DIVERGENCE

·truths you have to grow into by celaenos Set during 4b. Emma avoids her parents expectations and Gold's manipulations by crashing on Regina's couch. A former villain protecting a hero from falling into her own fate; a messily ever after. And then, they lived.

·imagine me and you by bayloriffic               After they return from Neverland, Henry decides to set a parent trap for Emma and Regina. By the time Emma realizes what he’s up to, she’s already half in love with Regina and it’s pretty much too late to do anything about it.

·our hearts will make a fire by bayloriffic                 Of course Emma would end up trapped in Rumpelstiltskin’s enchanted log cabin with the Evil Queen. Because that’s just how her life is these days.

·we'll make our home on the water by bayloriffic                 For some reason, Emma thought they’d pass through the portal and end up right at Neverland. Instead, they spend weeks aboard the Jolly Roger, sailing the vast blue-green oceans with no land in sight, the water seeming to stretch on forever all around them.

·A Christmas Getaway by SwanQueen4tw Set after 4x12. Henry doesn't find the library but Robin does leave. Starts after Emma and Regina become drinking buddies. Henry sees how sad his mother is so he plans a trip to NYC and suckers Emma into going along with it.

ONE-SHOTS

·A Sorta Fairytale (aka: Gay for a Day) by Exquisiteliltart Young Regina realizes something is missing in her life, so when her friend suggests courting a woman, she decides to try, but believes she is unlikely to meet anyone… but she does. Regina unwittingly saves   Princess Emma from a harrowing accident, and grapples with the strange feelings that begin to develop between the pair.

·It's in the Genes by hunnyfresh In which Emma's brother Neal has a massive crush on Regina which spurs Emma into acting on her feelings - Future Fic          

·Rubbers by hunnyfresh In which Emma sucks at trash bin basketball and spends her time as Sheriff doing something more entertaining

·Oddish Little Thing Called Love by coalitiongirl Our Pokémon gym. It’s not quite our son, but it still makes Emma’s heart flutter a tiny bit.          

·Someone has already claimed that username by coalitiongirl Written for Meet-Cute AU day of Swan Queen Week. Emma meme-ifies Regina, so Regina hoards her urls. Swan Queen, as told through far too many memes and a whole lot of Tumblr text posts. Canon-compliant through 4a.

·in the right place by forgottendialect "From the other side of the reception station, a nurse who has apparently been eavesdropping pipes up. “Well, she is engaged, though.” “Auntie Zelena isn’t engaged.” The nurse blinks. “Yes, she is.” She points, suddenly, over at Emma. “Her fiancé is right over there.” "Emma Swan saves a woman's life, is wrongly identified as her fiancé, accidentally falls in love with her sister, and finds herself a home.

·by the light of the moon by bayloriffic                 “What are you doing?” Regina demands, but she's staring at Emma's mouth and her chest is actually heaving, like some kind of romance novel cliché, her skin flushed dark in the bright light of the moon. She puts her hands on Emma’s shoulders like she’s going to push her away, but she curls her fingers around Emma’s arms instead, clutching her instead of shoving her away. “Miss Swan?”

·Love Me Rex by JuiceCup Regina Mills is a busy woman.  At least that’s what she tries to tell her sister when the frantic woman calls needing her help with a very important Christmas gift matter.  Her sister forgot to get her niece’s gift from Santa this year!  Persuaded to brave the bad weather and the crowds the day before Christmas Eve, Regina considers herself lucky to have managed to snag the last Love Me Rex Dinosaur on the shelf!  That is, until she glances up and finds herself in a toy-tug-of-war with a beautiful blonde!All Emma Swan wanted for Christmas was to get her six-year-old son the hottest toy that was selling out all over the country!  He’d been talking about the darn thing for days.  This was the last Love Me Rex in the store and she was darned if she was going to let this one go.   However, what she hadn’t counted on was meeting the stunningly gorgeous and enigmatic Regina Mills.Swan Queen Alternative Universe.   There’s no magic and no curse.  This is Emma and Regina in completely different roles.  You may find a couple of your other favorite characters as well.

FAKE RELATIONSHIP

·I Can Almost Hear Your Harmony by swansaloft (orphan_account) Regina and Emma decide to engage in a short-term pretend relationship (for Very Important Reasons, obviously), but what should be a simple arrangement becomes complicated when a sprig of everyone's favorite kiss-inducing plant is thrown (literally) into the mix.

MAGICAL ACCIDENTS

·Second Time Around by RowArk Emma magically reverts herself to a toddler, with her adult memories, but is unable to communicate and no one knows who she is. Regina takes in the lost baby girl and bonds with her, eventually telling her personal things, having no idea she's actually talking to Miss Swan, who is hearing everything, and it changes how she sees Regina (in a good way).

[littlethingwithfeathers]

Writing Update - 5/6/19

Publishing now!

The Night the Wall Came Down:  This is a Steve/Natasha fic in my “Friendship is Unnecessary” series. It’s set during Endgame, a few months post-Snap as everyone is starting to find the new normal. This will definitely will be an angsty one… I started working on this about six months ago as something of a mourning piece for Infinity War, for Endgame, and for the end of season 5 of Agents of SHIELD, but put it on hold until Endgame released so I would know where to set it in the timeline. Definitely will contain mild spoilers for Endgame. 

***

For the first time since Thanos had snapped his fingers, Steve woke up in an empty bed.

In a way… the shock itself was a shock. Not that he and Natasha hadn't made a habit of sleeping together before, but it had been just that. A general habit. Not always something that occurred, but it occurred more often than not. An action unexamined and lacking any sort of premeditation.

But after everything went to hell… after the Snap… after they had all collectively and quite decisively failed, the two of them quite purposefully never slept alone. They practically never did anything alone. It was as though they nursed the phantom limb that was Bucky Barnes together. Sure, they were by no means joined at the hip, but as the days fanned out into weeks and then into months, new habits were forming and old ones were deepening.  And the two of them were decidedly sticking close together. Closer than before anyway. They ran together each morning. Usually ate at least one meal together in their adjoined rooms. And generally they drifted nearer and nearer with each passing day.

That was why it was such a slap in the face for Steve to reach for her in the misty light of early morning, still half-blind with sleep, and find nothing but cold, empty sheets.

***

Other “Friendship is Unnecessary” fics at various stages:

A Heart for Any Fate: Steve/Clint/Natasha. Takes place during Endgame. Hurt/Comfort-palooza. I won’t say any more than that because spoilers. Currently sits at close to 8k words and climbing. I’m likely to finish the first draft this week (I’m maybe 2/3 done). Look for it to be out sometime in May.

The Girl in the Garden: A Post-Endgame fic that buttons up some loose ends and fixes some serious plot problems. That’s all I’ll say because I don’t want to give away spoilers for my own story. I’ve been sketching around on it and have started writing in earnest this past weekend. I’m a few thousand words in, and it looks to be about six or seven chapters long. Not sure on an ETA for this one yet, but I’m hoping to start publishing by June.

Untitled Prologue: Since I’ve written this beast of a series completely out of order, I thought I’d put a prologue on the front. Just a couple of short scenes to plant some seeds and give an actual starting place to this whole sprawling, intertwining mess, but also give me a chance to address the readers so my forewords on the rest of the fics don’t seem weird.

I’ll Come To Thee By Moonlight: Steve/Natasha. Takes place during Endgame right after Ant-Man arrives at Avengers HQ. Very much Hurt/Comfort. Still in the sketching/outlining phase.

Untitled Pre-War Steve/Bucky: A request from @crazyevildru that I’m toying with. Probably a flashback or a memory. This series really does need more Steve/Bucky and I feel bad about it.

Sweet and Honorable:  Set post Civil War. Bucky insists on coming with Steve and Natasha to rescue Sam Wilson. This is starting to take shape in my head as a sort of work through for some of the issues that get raised in “Echo in my Soul.”

***

Other works coming soon!

A Maelstrom Whirls Below: I’m toying with the possibility of a sequel to my Darcy/Eddie/Venom fic “A Room for Rent in the Fourth Estate.” A rough outline is in place, and I’m starting to sketch around on a few scenes. But right now it’s just some ideas and a few zippy one-liners. It’s starting to get some traction though! Likely won’t start work in earnest until all this Endgame fix-it stuff is done, but I’m definitely letting it percolate.

Hang By Every Word: The outline for my Stucky fic is still coming along but it will be awhile yet before I start writing on it in earnest. The basic theme (and I’m sure this has been done, but fuck it) is the undoing of Bucky’s conditioning one trigger word at a time. And each trigger word locked down a memory of Steve. So I have to write things from Steve’s point of view, and all ten memories have to be written from Bucky’s point of view, and they have to tie together into a cohesive narrative but the memories are out of order, but Steve’s time line isn’t and… It’s a challenge. I’m still largely in the brainstorming phase… writing little snippets here and there. Nothing’s solidly taking form just yet. Again… just letting it percolate.

***