#(it's not really that intense of a song it just has this creepy vibe)

[yume-fanfare]

the most valk-core song actually is this one traditional lullaby in a language that maybe one of my followers speak and of which most recordings online ive seen suck, but its very Them

[strongheartneteyam]

Realize where you belong.

Pairing: neteyam sully x female!human!reader/female!dreamwalker!reader

Neteyam is aged up.

Chapter 2

CW: angst, reader hates her life, neteyam is like her "secret admirer" but he eventually becomes obsessed, so, it gives off some creepy vibes, possessive neteyam, forbidden love, neteyam is REALLY protective over her, neteyam isn't really fond of humans (hates them) and only makes an exception for reader, TRIGGER WARNING for a few depression symptoms (such as reader holding back tears and looking miserable really often), stalking, obsessive behavior & possessiveness

Synopsis: Reader is unhappy with her human life. She works for the lab as a cook. She's a Dreamwalker and she spends every free day she gets walking through Pandora's forests. In one of those days, Neteyam sees her but she doesn't notice him. He falls in love, seeing how happy she is amidst nature. Neteyam finds out she's actually a human in an Avatar, so, he finds a way to go where her real body is. He hates to admit it but, seeing her in her human body, he realizes he still loves her. After watching her, he notices how she's always happier when she's in her Avatar, so, he develops a deeper connection to her. However, he becomes obsessive. Reader has only heard about him, the famous son of Jake Sully and future Olo'eyktan, praised for his great achievements as a young Omatikaya. After getting reader's attention, Neteyam asks her to choose to live forever in her Avatar, becoming his mate and making tsaheylu with him, gaining a new home as a fresh member of his tribe. Reader is scared and torn, since, even though she's intensely attracted to him and only truly enjoys life when she's Dreamwalking, she doesn't really know him and she's afraid of dying when trying to go past Eywa's eye. But Neteyam just won't give up on her that easily.

♡ This is Reader's Avatar

☆ This is the official playlist for this story, the songs I listen to while working on it.

•

Finally, this fanfic is out!! lots of people seemed to love the tiny sneak peek I posted so... I hope you guys will love the fanfic itself too hehe I'm so relieved I could finally post it ooof My environment is the worst EVER rn & i haven't had any motivation or focus to write lately BUT i seem to be getting out of that damned writer's block I was in (ITS THE WORST FEELING IN THE WORLD UGH HATE IT TO DEATH)

Not proofread. My life is a hurricane, so, we don't work with proofread stories here. Hope you find it in your hearts to forgive me, my angels :')

na'vi words:

yawne - beloved

tsaheylu - the neurological bond the na'vi make with their mate, through their tendrils, at the end of their long braid.

Chapter 1

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

I love your touch, cold as ice

And I love every single tear you cry

I just love the way you're losing your life

Oh, my baby, how beautiful you are

Oh, my darling, completely torn apart

Gone With The Sin (HIM)

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

Neteyam would look at you every moment he could. He didn't have that much free time since he was the Olo'eyktan's son and had so many responsibilities weighting on his shoulders. But he would always make any sacrifice he needed to make to find time to see you. Even if it meant using the few hours he had to himself to contemplate you. His sad, gloomy-eyed, beautiful girl. You were not actually his yet, but, he was determined to make that change.

Neteyam saw you holding back tears way too damn often, so, he was always deeply worried about you, and, that was one of the reasons why he was always creeping around, high up in branches of trees located in Hell's Gate, watching over you, almost every day, ready to help you, defend you from any danger, to say "screw it" to how out of the blue it would be if he - a stranger, a male na'vi stranger - just came up to you and said "hey, I've been watching you for a while, and… I'm so, so in love with you. Please, leave this damn idiotic human life you live and let Eywa help you be transferred to your Avatar body for good, just like she helped my father. You're so insanely pretty like this - and I have never felt attracted to any female of your demon kind before, so, believe me when I talk about your beauty - but you look even prettier when you're in your Avatar form. Let me make you my mate, let me make you the future Olo'eyktan's mate. I can give you a far better life than the one you have now"

He knew he was just a weird alien boy (as the humans would probably say), stalking you, always up in the highest tree branches he could find and reach, watching a girl while she cooks - as it was your job - like a hunter watching their prey. But he meant no harm. On the contrary, he meant to take care of you, to save you from it all. Because he wasn't blind. Neteyam saw how unhappy you looked while peeling potatoes (he knew what they were because his dad who was once human told him and his siblings about how delicious that vegetable from Earth tasted, especially when it was made as French fries) to cook on the high-tech stove the humans used to prepare their meals in and prepare mashed potatoes to those damn lab guys who invaded his Planet and did nothing but harm.

Neteyam thought it to be unnecessary. His future mate could easily prepare the same potatoes in a bonfire he would light up for you in the Omatikaya forest. He knew they would taste even better roasted in the natural fire than just plainly cooked in that energy fueled cooking device the humans used. He could give you a life so incredibly better than the one you had right now, it pained him to see his yawne working so hard to feed every damn scientist in that cold, air-conditioned lab while not being as appreciated and thanked by them as you deserved to be. You could be preparing food to feed his children instead, the sons and daughters he would give you, if only you accepted becoming his forever mate.

He hated the humans. They didn't know how to lead a proper life. But you were different.

Neteyam knew how breathtaking you looked in a na'vi like body because the first time he saw you, you were in your Avatar body - as you were a Dreamwalker - and that's when he fell in love with you. But he learned to love your human body too. He could never hate you, even in your human form. You were the only human he did not despise.

The day Neteyam first saw you, he was out in the forest to hunt and gather food, collecting bladder polyps, lionberry seeds and trying to kill a hexapede, so, he could bring all of it home and him and his family could eat a nutritious dinner.

That's when he heard a squeaky, funny laugh. It was a female voice, he recognized. Neteyam followed that sound just like he was a sailor and the girl whose laugh he heard was a mermaid, bewitching his senses and drawing him closer.

When he saw you, it was like his heart was going to explode in a thousand pieces, so fast it was beating inside his rigid ribcage, so strongly the blood was being pumped through his arteries. He knew he had to make you his mate, to have you forever.

Neteyam had always been a practical and rational young man, he had to be. He was the eldest son and had to look after his 3 younger siblings and not show a single sign of weakness when his father would scold him in a harsh tone, whenever any of his siblings - specially his younger brother, Lo'ak -, got into trouble and somehow, Neteyam ended up having to take responsibility over their actions. "But that girl… that beautiful, ethereal girl… she makes me believe in things I've never even considered before. I know it sounds stupid to say that about a girl I just met, only some minutes ago but I don't care", he thought. Only he and Eywa herself knew the raw, powerful feeling he was experiencing at that moment. He just wanted to let go for a while. To not force himself to be all brains, zero heart for once, just once. And you were gifting him the opportunity to do just that. Your beauty was so enchanting, it could leave any creature in awe.

His father had once told him about Christianity, one of the most popular religions back on the glory days of the Planet Earth, and, of course he didn't follow those beliefs, his spirituality was completely based on Eywa, the Great Mother, the spirit and moving energy of Pandora, but, if the beings called "angels" his father talked about were real, Neteyam was utterly sure that they could only look like you.

You were perfect. Every curve of your body, every bioluminescent freckle, every pattern of your stripes, your long dark braided hair falling like water on your flawless back, as you kept smiling and touching every single flower you could see, playing in a foolish way, just like a child. He felt a primal urge coming from his guts to make tsaheylu with you right there, right at that moment.

So many thoughts roamed through Neteyam's mind: "I need her… right here, right now. She's… ugh… I've never felt anything like this before… What's going on with your stupid mind, Neteyam?! You can't just choose any girl to be your mate, you'll be the next Olo'eyktan, remember?! The best choice would be a girl who has a calling to be Tsahìk. Maybe your parents will try to arrange a marriage, to find the perfect match for you. Damn! Who am I trying to fool? She is the only perfect match for me…"

Neteyam started to watch you go about the forest every chance he got.

When he found out you were actually a Dreamwalker, a human in a body created in a laboratory, a hybrid of demon and na'vi, a freak... It was like his world was falling apart, piece by tiny piece crashing on the floor. How did he not notice your fifth finger before?! Was he that much under your spell, that blinded by how beautiful and charming you were?, he asked himself.

So, he told himself he was going to find a way to at least see what your true form looked like. He hissed at the thoughts and feelings you had caused him the whole way to Hell's Gate, where the laboratory was and where he knew all the humans that stayed in Pandora and had an Avatar stayed.

When Neteyam saw you in your human body, he got hit by something as strong as lightning. The moment he sniffed your sweet scent (the smell you had in your Avatar had notes of your original human scent, as your DNA was used to build that body), the moment he recognized that melodious voice… The expression in those eyes, that smile, that laughter… it was you. His yawne.

He didn't understand how that was possible, what he was feeling. Nevertheless, he realized he still loved you. His heart still beat fast for you. It didn't matter which physical form you took. Na'vi or human. You were you. And he loved you. Madly.

His people had a great contempt towards the ones who Dreamwalked. They were "demons in false bodies", like his grandma and his mother always said. And Neteyam himself felt the same. Worse, he had felt disgusted by the love and desire you made him feel, back when he watched you wandering around the Omatikaya lands, when you would jump like a little kid, so happy playing with the bioluminescent, neon plants of the forest.

But, still, that feeling lingered inside him. The attachment, the deep affection, the devotion… He could not comprehend it.

All Neteyam could grasp was that he hated all humans, but you were the only exception.

Even though you were originally human, you had a na'vi heart. He just knew that. As crazy and impossible as it sounded, he figured out it was true. And that blew his mind. That sorrowful girl he was seeing cooking in a small technological kitchen was not the same one he had seen at the forest. But it was, at the same time. It apparently made no sense, but it actually did. You were not where you belonged. You did not belong imprisoned among those four walls that the other humans kept you in. That you were keeping yourself in. You belonged free amidst the Pandoran trees. You did not belong in those big human clothes. You belonged in a comfortable loincloth and a big leaf necklace covering your beautiful breasts, letting the wind hit your skin.

You seemed out of place in that environment you were currently in. And that made Neteyam feel something so overpowering. He knew it was useless to try and fight it. He was not even sure if he even wanted to fight it anymore. That feeling was good. It felt just like what he felt when he thought you were a na'vi girl. He even felt attracted to you, even though he still thought you looked much prettier in your Avatar body.

He was fully aware you were one of the demons. But you were not like the rest of them. You were special. He could tell that. He could tell you'd be a hundred per cent happier if he could convince you to become na'vi. And that's exactly what he was planning to do. He still did not know how, but he would find a way.

༊⁀➷

Taglist:

@crazy4books1

@samistars

@lik0

@miri-belle

@nerdybouquetofkittens-blog

@xxunnie

@your-girl-mj

@sereisstuff

@darktyrantwinner

@henhouse-horrors

@explosiongamora

@yeosxxx

[jerryterry]

Hi Jerrod! I'm a college student taking a music appreciation class, and I have to use the musician I talked about on Day 1 for a project, and that so happened to be you, haha. Is there anyone who has inspired you musically for some of your horror work like Kiss Me/Kill me (which happens to be the song I chose cause honestly? A bop). Thank you so much in advance!

Hmm. Honestly, in cases like that one, I don't really have any conscious inspirations aside from the obvious song itself (as I've mentioned in the past, Kiss Me was mainly inspired by hearing the song on the radio and really listening to the lyrics for the first time and thinking "woah what if she keeps asking to be kissed next to increasingly-creepy things" lol). Started with the lyrics, then once I got the vocals back from Juliëtte I just started with "basic cover of the original song, then just see where I can take it".

The previous work "The Boys are Back (to kill you)" was a much more subdued 'remix', in that many elements were a 1:1 recreation (the backing guitar and bass are remade but mostly adhere to the original) or direct sample (that lead guitar riff) that I built up on in a more subtle way - different drums, lil blips and bloops here and there, but more of a cover than a remix in vibes. Kiss Me starts in a similar way, there's some added synths but it's mostly a close following of the original track with minor embellishments. But as part of the bait-and-switch (in that the listener was intended to assume it's the same situation as the previous one, both in terms of the remix style and the vocals being a sentence-mix), the plan was to just keep winging it in a new direction and see what happens.

Like most of my stuff, the rest kinda formed in this real hazy-to-remember bout of extreme productivity and luck. It's kinda like one of those cartoon fights where you just see a dustcloud and the occasional fist - like I'll zone out (or I guess in) into this very intensely-focused session for hours, and emerge having made a ton of progress thinking "I honestly don't remember how I got here". Sadly can't do it on command (hence my usual low output), but in this case I left everything so last-minute that the stress of the Halloween deadline was really propelling me forward, haha.

Come to think of it, is any of this useful at all? Was the project specifically just about inspirations? If so, kinda sucks that I guess I just went "huh, not really", sorry about that. Obvs not trying to claim my work is immaculate and wholly original and incomparable or whatever (it sure ain't), just that any inspirations for this one were more just my own ingrained inspirations and less conscious ones that I could pinpoint and list, yknow?

A lot of people think Boys are Back was inspired by Neil Cicierega. Which I totally get (on multiple levels, both the sentence-mixed mashup PLUS the "creepy old 90's-style computer UI" stuff are SO his bag), but tbh his work wasn't a direct inspiration in this case, it was mostly another accident. Maybe kind of a "man invents Frankenstein 200 years after Mary Shelley" vibe for sure. Though funnily enough it does take a lil conscious inspiration from one of Neil's works in a less-expected way, in that a distant memory of his track "Super Hey Ya" popped into mind while I was partway through the remix and inspired the lil bouncy chip-arps you hear from 0:50 onward. SHY came to mind on account of being what I guess I'd call an "additive remix", in which he took the whole song and put his own additions on top of it, which was only partially the case for TBaB but it was a bit of a similar process (I specifically remember thinking like "ok so I've got this pretty direct cover of the backing track, I don't want to go full capital-R Remix here but let's add some lil embellishments... oh hey, remember Super Hey Ya?").

Is any of this helpful? Sorry I couldn't really answer the question in a very satisfying way.

[bargainoriley]

Atom Heart Mother (1970)

Here are my atom heart mother thoughts! As promised ;)

1. Atom Heart Mother

The brass intro is very ominous, and badass! And then the music kicks in! And it’s really cool! I really like the combination of a brass orchestra and rock band instruments. Then suddenly it sounds like there’s a battle going on and a car revving! Love the musical storytelling of this so far. The keyboard is lovely too in the more chill part! This whole song feels like a story being told about a kingdom (probably because of the brass orchestra) The ladies and men’s choir voices in one of the parts after is so ethereal and gorgeous as well. Almost fairy like! This part only just adds to my thought that this song sounds like it is written about a fantasy kingdom. After this the groove/chill part without the orchestra is also really good! Especially the bass line and guitar solo! I also really like how hard the drums hit in this song! Then the choir returns and once again we get the cool badass brass section back from the beginning! Then there is a pretty creepy sounding part, that kind of sounds like Revolution 9 in my opinion, but much better. Then there’s a segment where it just repeats previous segments. Then there’s a really nice cello segment to add onto this piece’s feeling of being a whole classical music suite. The last 3-4 minutes of this song is probably my favorite part because everything just comes perfectly together! I really liked this song, it felt more like a classical music suite than a rock song imo, but it’s really great!

2. If

This is an absolutely gorgeous song!! It’s so soft, but it has a really melancholic vibe (especially because of the lyrics). I love the electric guitar addition as well to the acoustic guitar! It sounds lovely! I also really like Roger’s voice here! It’s a very honest and melancholic song that I resonate with. The piano is also simply divine. One of my personal favorites!

3. Summer ‘68

This song…. Oh my god this song… It is so FREAKING GOOD!! The soft parts before the “how do you feel” parts are so happy and relaxed, but then it gets really intense and melancholic with the “how do you feel” parts. The first time I heard this beat drop I was surprised and really invested (this wasn’t when I first listened to this album, I actually listened to the song before listening to its album. But the beat drop still hits just as hard as the first time listening to it)! I was head banging hard. Not to mention the melody of this song is INCREDIBLE! It is a very deceptively happy sounding song, and that’s why I love it. I love this song’s melancholic vibes. The use of the brass orchestra again here is also so good, same with the piano! The vocal harmonies are so good as well!! Rick has the voice of an angel. This song also really reminds me of the Beatles. Probably my favorite song on the album low key.

4. Fat Old Sun

The guitar and vocals from David are so good! I love how soft he sings here, it’s as if he’s making a secret confession to the listener while they’re both lying in the grass! His voice sounds very vulnerable. And then when the electric guitar kicks in it becomes even cooler! This song also heavily reminds me of the Beatles, specifically something from Abbey Road. The bass line is lovely as well.

5. Alan’s Psychedelic Breakfast

I love the intro! It’s very asmr sounding and also very charming. Then the absolutely beautiful piano and guitar kick in! It sounds very optimistic and carefree! I love the contrast here to the other pretty melancholic sounding sounds. Then it goes back to the surprisingly calming breakfast asmr, and then it goes to a new bit! The new part also is very lovely with the guitar. Then it goes back to Alan cooking bacon. And then we get a new great part with lovely keyboard, drums and bass. I love how chill this song is and how beautiful it sounds as well! This song really surprised and amazed me! Some of the breakfast eating noises are a bit weird though. Furthermore I love the concept that Alan eats a different piece of breakfast and then a new music part appears! It’s as if every breakfast item we eat is a different experience. One of my new personal favorites along with Summer ‘68 and If.

In general I really really liked this album! I think every song is great and wonderful and well written with creative concepts put in them! I also just adore this albums switch in melancholic vibes to happy vibes. Next up is meddle, which I’m very excited about! I’ve only heard good things about it.

[camille-lachenille]

Theme songs for the Silmarillion (part 1 of my Tolkien theme songs)

Sailboat of mine, Eurielle and Mario Grigorov: this song fits perfectly Eärendil and his relationship with Elwing too, especially their fate. The dreamy, almost otherworldly melody and voice are also very like I imagine Elvish music

Hotel California, Eagles: The lyrics and slightly unsettling tune give me a major Nan Elmoth (and Eöl) vibe

Aredhel: I do it reverse fo this character but I have two songs for Aredhel. First is Touch the Sky, from Pixar’s Brave, for her wild spirit and will to roam the world. The second song is I want to Break Free by Queen, from the moment she is captured by Eöl to her death; always trying to escape him but ultimately failing

Friends will be Friends, Queen: for Nerdanel, Anairë and Ëarwen, the three wives left behind and whom I headcanon to be friends and support each other after the Darkening and loss of their families

Ave Maria, Franz Schubert: I headcanon Findis as very pious and retired from society and I can imagine her sing this prayer, full of hope and faith

Back on the Throne, Firewind: the lyrics fit really well Morgoth, and the War of the Jewels seen from his side in general. It’s all about burning the world down and spreading darkness to be the one in power

Savage Daughter, Sarah Hester Ross: Lúthien. This song is Lúthien and Lúthien is this song.

Requiem - Lacrimosa, W.A. Mozart: This piece is for Maglor, and it makes me feel things. Many things

Princes of the Universe, Queen: I asked my sister for a song that would fit a character who is heroic and gay, without any context, and she proposed this one. I listened to it and it has so much Fingon/Maedhros vibes I can’t even put them into words. Just go listen to the song.

Live and die by the Sword, Firewind: The title turned out to be a rather dark joke, but this is the theme song for Túrin. Like, the lyrics seem written for him.

Wars of Ages, Firewind: I realised that I chose quite a few songs by Firewind when I don’t listen to them… but epic metal provides good theme songs for the Silm so here is the one for Fëanor. It’s a pretty intense and dark song but I think it really suits him, and it strongly evokes me of Alqualondë and Losgar in particular

I will survive, Gloria Gaynor: I can see this song either for Amarië, addressed to Finrod, or Andreth and Aegnor. Either ways, it’s for a lover left behind who has to rebuild her life after a heartbreak

Erlkönig, Franz Schubert: The lyrics of this song makes me think a lot of Eluréd and Elurín. It’s about a child scared by a dark creature in the woods ( the Erlkönig) and who ultimately dies when there was hope to escape it. It’s eerie, it’s sad, it’s perfect for these fated twins…

Come Little Children, from Hocus Pocus (cover by Erutan): This is a song that becomes more and more creepy and unsettling each time you listen to it and, in a twisted way, I think it fits the relationship between Maglor, Elrond and Elros after the third Kinslaying… it’s a very dark view of them though. It would also work very well for Eluréd and Elurín

Sin, Lia Marie Johnson: what else than a song about falling in love a second time for Finwë? I stumbled upon this song by complete chance and I had to add it to this post because it fits too perfectly.

Rise from the Ashes, Firewind: And this last song is not for a person but a place/event: the Helcaraxë. I can picture so well the host marching on the Ice and singing this as a marching song, grim, determined and angry.

And here is the playlist I made just for you!

[namorian]

horror of our love by ludo is just the theme song for an au where xavier really was the hyde all along IM JUST SAYING-

or alternatively you know…….. we just… let him be appropriately freaky for an addams family entry……..

like i mean lbr….. there’s a “you must be this deranged to get with an addams” sign that goes up every valentines and halloween.

i personally make everyone’s resting level of demented at least 2 notches higher than canon (except ajax and eugene they’re Vibing) because like. they’re halloween town people. they’re spooksters. this is the school morticia and gomez addams went to. shit like the statue explosion and crackstone’s resurrection and hyde serial killings should be like…. tuesday. they should have a student mortality rate that rivals sunnydale high. there should absolutely be a super comical mix of people super blasé about the Horrors and people like “wow man… lotta Horrors in here huh?”

like I’ve basically already decided xavier is kind of a Intense Creepy Freak. you know like a REAL tormented artist type so he’s all fucked up and spooky to be around (and thus 100x hotter inherently). frankly imo he’s like a handful of bad days away as is from going full blown horror of our love batshit. he has will graham in hannibal “i’m a psychic and i’m a light breeze away from doing something Unspeakable” energies.

[styrmwb]

Favorite Final Fantasy Music (FFXV)

4 bros go on a bachelor roadtrip, tragedy ensues.

I didn't appreciate XV's soundtrack enough when I first heard it, much like XII. It was too "generic" for my dumb, stupid, uncultured brain; and while it is definitely a lot more orchestral than your usual FF soundtrack, it has a lot of little bits that feel unique, that give the game that originality that FF is known for. it also helps that this is probably my favorite complete party in the game, and the emotional connection the story and characters create enhances my love for this soundtrack; I love the chocobros, I love the road trip with the boys, and I hate with every inch of my soul that final campfire scene (I love the final campfire scene). This time, the game was mainly composed by Yoko Shimomura, who I feel a lot of people know in the realm of largest video game composers (I don't have much else to say here but I've been sharing main composers in the previous lists so let's keep it on!)

I also need to preface by saying I love how this game can let me say "Stand By Me by Ben E King/Florence and the Machine is my favorite Final Fantasy song"; that being said I will not be putting it in this list because it is A Real Song but know EVERY time I hear it I Will cry

5. Invidia The rhythm and piano in this one. That perfect combination of the drum set with the classic orchestra. This song is addicting to listen to, and I always find myself banging my head along to it, even with that (especially with that) choir and piano. My favorite part is right after that sort of chorus solo, when the piano hits that mix of highs and lows that sounds like DIN doo.... DIN doo DIN! it's really fun, and I wish it played more in the game.

4. Bros on the Road This fucking song. This song is so silly. But it's also Perfect. Bros on the Road is what the soul of this game is, the boys together. It plays during the early morning, post camping bonding minigames where Noctis and one of the guys does something, like training, or cooking. It's what I love about this game and this cast together in one song. The cheesy guitar and that almost country vibe that is perfect for this fantasy Kansas this world is in is amazing. Also;

Something dawned on me when I was on my own. Any food you make tastes better when you use good ingredients, right? Then, if you take something already delicious like Cup Noodles and add in the finest, freshest ingredients, what do you get? The ultimate flavor experience! So I ask you Noct: what's your favorite ingredient?

3. Veiled in Black XV has several "normal" battle themes, and this one is definitely my favorite. This is the imperial battle theme, and it hits for a lot of the same reasons that Invidia does, but the constant beat, stress, the heavier focus on string instruments like the violin and guitar, combined with the melody, just put it above for me. The peak of the song is that violin focus where you can tell they are just putting their heart and soul into those high notes (I love high notes man).

2. Magna Insomnia Final boss battle!!!!!!! This is a long one, with several phases, and I love how it perfectly evolves with the fight. The first phase is slow and creepy, involving Ardyn's theme, a circular sounding string chorus, and that piano that sounds like it's collapsing and dropping like an ancient staircase. It's amazing for that simple fight on the ground between Noctis and Ardyn, almost sounding like he's playing with you and not Really trying with his sword swings. As usual, the higher notes in this song make my brain happy, that somber violin sounding grand yet dilapidated. Phase 2 turns up the intensity. The battle becomes some real Dragon Ball shit in the sky flying around, dual Armigers against each other. The intro and the song as a whole feel like a constant ascent, with only a couple interludes of (relative) calm. I love the rhythm in the back, and I especially love when that flute comes in occasionally with its sort of war cry. Phase 3 tunes it down. The fight has moved back to the ground, and the entire bit is a sad, solemn vocalist solo. It's perfect for the fight, cause ultimately, this Isn't a grand victory. This is a generations long fight against a very sad, angry man that doesn't have a purely happy ending for either participant. XV hurts, man.

1. OMNIS LACRIMA First of all, WHOOPS, I ended up making this list like, all of the more orchestral stuff. That's what you get when you write stream of consciousness style. Something about these just hit different, but please give the honorable mentions a look for more variety, cause this game's overall use of acoustic and down to earth instruments is really what makes it so charming and i definitely failed to express that in my personal favorites.

Now onto the song itself; Holy shit. That opening. I feel like I've just opened the gates of heaven themselves and this is what it sounds like. The song goes into that tense string rhythm which I think XV excels at for its battle themes, with the rising choir keeping up that grandiosity the song starts with. it's so funny that this is mainly just a sideboss theme, because it FEELS like the main boss theme for this game. It feels like the end of the world, the fight for the fate of the galaxy, but ultimately you're just trying to get an egg for your Cup Noodles! When that piano plays back into the intro again? Dude. This song absolutely caught me off guard when I first heard it, and it is the first thing that comes to mind whenever I think about XV and its soundtrack, this lives rent free in my head. Shoutouts to the Dissidia NT version which add a little guitar for some shredding, as a treat.

Honorable mentions go to: Somnus, Hammerhead, Stand Your Ground, Hunt or Be Hunted (hrnngg.... metal gear,,,,), A Quick Pit Stop (lmao), Galdin Quay, Valse di Fantastica, Crystalline Chill, Reel Rumble, The Fight Is On!, Lestallum, APOCALYPSIS NOCTIS, Rodeo de Chocobo, Cape Caem, APOCALYPSIS AQUARIUS, Main Theme from FINAL FANTASY (this game is heavy on the all caps I swear), and then from the DLC: Shield of the King, The Spirits Converge, The Trials of the Shield, and Battle on the Big Bridge (sorry chat I only played Gladio's)

[miramizar]

Hello! Your Secret Santa Again ❄️ Many apologies for the long silence I hope you're doing well!

Thank you for the Exo vid recommendations in your last answer! I haven't seen that many of the concert stages yet and both the ones you named were amazing!! that acoustic medley though!! But since you asked, right now my favorite stages are... maybe the 2019 Smtown in Japan Gravity and the KBS awards For Life?

You also picked the sweetest Suho moments, very fun to revisit. <3 Our leader really puts his heart into everything he does. I haven't started his drama yet either although it looked exciting! I have been watching Xiumin's ceo-dol mart, I just have the last couple episodes left. What have you been watching lately?

My favorite bbh moments... are many lol. I love the late night car ride lives he was doing for a while just singing and driving.

Favorite Kyunsoo songs... all of Empathy? I also really like Wonder off the new album.

I don't know that I have a SHINee bias, I feel like it changes every day but I adore them all. For WayV either Ten or Kun (speaking of lovable dorky leaders).

I like SuJu as well (so many good songs!!) I haven't heard any VIXX- what's your song rec? For Pentagon now is probably a rough time to get into them haha but I would recommend looking up Shine and Naughty Boy those are my favorites, or maybe Daisy or Dr. Bebe if you like a more intense concept.

I am not really a true horror fan but I really like the sort of offbeat gothic creepiness (think Addams Family or SHINee Married to the Music energy) and I like having a season to play that up. I don't have any halloween plans, but I decorated! What about you? Do you celebrate Halloween?

Re: your present, I wanted to ask if there was anything specific you might want? I mostly do digital art, but I can also do traditional drawing, moodboards, edits...I already have some ideas, but lmk if there's anything you had in mind!

Talk soon! <3

Hi!! ❣️ Oh it's definitely okay! And please accept my apologies as well - it's been rather hectic lately and I didn't have wi-fi for a bit and I caught a small cold etc. so I took way longer to answer you than I intended to... I hope that this doesn't make you feel too stressed about my gift? I'd love to receive anything really - I did pick fanart on the sign-up sheet, but I like all the options you mentioned so please feel free to do whatever you feel inspired to do! ✨

How have you been since our last talk? Hearing about you decorating during Halloween made me smile (>v<)🧡 I don't celebrate it myself, (I've been getting ready to celebrate Advent instead hahah) but I do like the aesthetic of it somewhat? And I get what you mean about the Shinee/Addams vibe! There's some humour to the creepiness, which is really nice! ✨ Still, I have to admit that I like watching/listening to darker horror movies/tales in every once in a while, especially if the stories are good (>v<;)

Oh, don't mention it! I'm just happy to hear that you liked those stages as well 💗 and you picked some great ones too! I tend to forget to look for SMTown videos and rewatch the music show stages for some reason, but now I have the perfect opportunity to do so 💫

Aahfbdf your kind words has me smiling really wide over here (>///<)💖 He really does, and I love and admire him so much for it 💕 I'd love to talk to you about Myeon's drama when we get to watch it! And I'd also love to hear what you thought about Xiu's drama - I've seen some gifsets from it and it looks fun! ✨ Sadly I haven't been able to watch anything lately, but I really want to get back into it! (>^<) I've been playing some Ni no Kuni though, maybe that counts ahah

That's a lovely answer! I also love his spontaneous lives where he's just being himself, it's so genuine somehow 💖 You also picked some great songs of Soo's, I can't help but agree with you on loving the entire "Empathy" album! 💚 I have to ask you a hard question now - what is your favourite Baek album? And favourite songs sung by him?

I understand that! They're a bunch of lovable dorks, who's not to adore? (the same goes for pretty much all the groups hahah)💕 I think it's the same with me regarding WayV though, I also gravitate towards Ten and Kun whenever I stop to think about my bias (>w<;)

ooh you're also an elf? I have to ask about the songs you think are good then ahdfbf 🎵Thank you for the Pentagon recommendations! I actually heard Shine and Dr Bebe before, I just forgot? I do like both though! And Naughty boy is so cute, while Daisy really is more intense - but definitely my style! 💗 For Vixx, I got into them thanks to Fantasy, and I still think of it as a favourite along with Shangri-La and Hyde - I like their dark concept, but at the same time some of their gentler songs are the sweetest I've ever heard, like Love letter and The rain! 💌

Thank you for answering all my questions so far, and I'm sorry again for taking so long to reply - I really enjoy reading your messages and I look forward to talking to you again soon ❣️ Take care!!

[taestefully-in-luv]

The Island | KTH (One)

Summary: You’re just two strangers waking up in a room on a lonely island where a company in the business of love has placed you. They believe that thanks to their in depth research you two are destined soulmates. What happens when your ‘soulmate’ and you want nothing to do with each other but falling in love is the only way to leave?

Pairing: Taehyung x Female reader

Genre: strangers to lovers, slight enemies to lovers, soulmates au, roommate au, slow burn, fluff, smut, angst, slight crack, and drama.

Word Count: 9.3k

Warnings: swearing

Notes: Alright here is the first ch to my new story! I am super nervous to post this because it is a completely different vibe. But I hope you guys enjoy! Don’t worry, it turns fluffier later:) let me know if you want to be added to the taglist, or send an ask if just want to chat!:)

Taglist: @ggukkieland @monvieesdaebak @707sblog @peacedreamer14

© taestefully-in-luv

Next

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Your room is blinding from the soft yet striking sunrise, each beam of light swims through the blinds in piercing waves. The intense glow hits you in your sleepy state, causing you to wake from your glorious slumber. Too bright. You sit up in your bed, attempting to rub away the sleep that crusts your eyes. You begin to slowly open one lid at a time, taking in the neat appearance of your room. Your room looks the same as always—there is a nightstand next to your wooden framed bed, it holds a pale lamp and a photo of mountainous scenery. A dresser sits comfortably in front of you, it is dressed in simple décor and a large mirror. Yup, the same as always. You glance over to your sheer curtained window where the sun very offendedly washes over the room—wait. Hold on a god damn second.

Quickly, you begin to open your eyes just a bit wider—where is your royal purple ottoman? The art that hangs on your walls? Your dresser is brown not black for Christ’s sake! You ball your hand in the sheets…these don’t even feel like your sheets, yours aren’t this silky. This is not your room. Your eyebrows climb to the top of your forehead as you jerk your head around. Where the hell are you? Suddenly, you feel something rustle against your side. No…not something—someone.

Your eyes dart to the right of you, where this someone moves against the sheets. Not just someone. A man. His dark, ruffled hair sticks out between the sheets and pillow below his head. Why is there a man in bed with you? Is it…his bed? Oh god. Immediately, your mind tries to recall the night before. Did you go out and drink too much? Go home with a rando? Super unlike you though. You pull your hair as your mind races.

Sitting up in bed, worry crosses all of your features. You try to face all the possibilities that could maybe end up being your reality. But going out and partying is nowhere in your memories. You begin gnawing on your bottom lip, knowing you stayed home last night. And that you fell asleep in your own bed…alone, you might add. So where the hell are you? And why is there another person? Fear enters the picture now, this is the last place you wanted to go. You know, that horrible, terrible, dark place? The one that says your reality is that some creepy man kidnapped you and plans on doing murder-y type things to you. Yup, that place.

You tug on the end of your hair again, you know, you know, a bad habit. But you can’t help it as anxiety grows deeper within you. Were you really kidnapped? Fuck. You have to think. You’re trying to, at least. But breathing is becoming a chore. Your breaths are quick and sharp like you are on the brink of a panic attack. Shit, maybe you are. You try to eye the room again, taking in its appearance more carefully. You can’t help the shiver that speeds down your spine when you notice how perfect this single bedroom is…it actually almost resembles your guest bedroom at home. Which is creepy in itself. You continue to eye the room curiously, while staying absolutely frozen.

The dresser has more photos of pretty scenery sitting on top, as well as a few small vases that complement the rest of the décor. Anxiety continues to grow within you, shaking you to the core. You hate the way your hands tremble in your lap. You want to do something. You truly do but fuck, you can’t even move a muscle. Your breathing begins to pick up even more. Where are you? Why are you here? Who is this man sleeping so fucking peacefully next to you? Your thoughts are going 100 miles per minute, screaming at you, taunting you, giving you the middle finger.

Before you can think through your many obvious questions and answer them, the man next to you begins to stir in his sleep. You watch with wide eyes as he slowly moves to his back from his side. You stare down at him, too scared to move. Too scared to scream bloody murder. Too scared to do anything. And nothing disappoints you more. That you are nothing but a coward. You look down at your future murderer and wait for him to wake.

Future murderer slowly opens his eyes but he shies away instantly from the beaming sunlight.

“Ahhhh.” He lets go in one long breath, rubbing at his eyes in a sleepy manner. You sit still, your own breath caught in your throat. You want to move but fear has you frozen like an evening in the arctic. The man, or Future Murderer as you seemed to have named him, begins sitting up, stretching his arms out above him and yawns a song of sleep. He finally opens his eyes fully and soaks in the room before him. His head moves around quickly, his expression becoming rather…confused.

“What the fuck?”

Yup, those are his first words. Should have been yours too, if you’re being honest. This guy gets it.

Future Murderer’s facial expression grows bewildered as he looks around the room and when he finally feels your presence, he turns his head your way.

“Uh…” the Murderer narrows his eyes at you, “Hi?”

You don’t even realize the sigh of relief that pushes past your lips, but his confusion seems…genuine. And this allows you to relax your shoulders a little bit. Maybe he is a victim to whatever is going on too? You take in his disheveled appearance; he has brown wavy hair that rests above his brow line, eyes darker than the deepest part of the sea and full pouting lips. You would totally admit he’s attractive as hell but considering the fact you’re trying to convince yourself he isn’t going to murder you and the state you’re in, you’re going to push that thought away.

“Uh, who are you?” His brows knit together as he expectantly waits for an answer.

“No, who are you?” You squint at him. How dare he ask like you aren’t the one totally frazzled here? But somehow it’s comforting that he seems as confused as you are. Mystery man (his new name, since he doesn’t appear to want to murder you) (maybe) raises a single brow at you before answering,

“Taehyung.”

You listen to his name roll off his tongue and absorb it. Taehyung, huh? You hesitate for a second before finally giving your own name.

“y/n.”

Taehyung then, has the audacity to pinch his nose in annoyance. To be fair, it looks like the one he’s annoyed with is himself and not you.

“Look, sorry…” he begins, “If we hooked up last night, I don’t really remember and I—"

Your eyes widen at his words and you begin to frantically shake your head,

“No! We didn’t—we didn’t…”

“Oh?” Taehyung gives you a curious look then has the audacity to scoot several inches away from you. Then you feel his eyes on you, they search you from head to toe. You’re wearing your cat printed PJ shorts and a simple purple t shirt. You admit your hair is probably pretty wild, so you card your fingers through your locks. You start to feel insecure under his gaze as he so shamelessly eyes you.

“I don’t know who you are or where I am…do you know where we are?” you question, looking off to the side.

Taehyung pulls his eyes away from you, his head moving around to look around the room, his arms flailing.

“Does it look like I know where I am?”

You only blink at him and he rolls his eyes, “No, I don’t.” he admits.

Moments of silence pass between the two of you. You don’t know what to say at this point even though you have a million things you would like to say. But you can’t form one, coherent sentence apparently. You don’t know anything. You’re fucking clueless and you hate it. You’re trying to gather your thoughts when you feel Taehyung rise from the bed, startling you like he just committed a crime. God, you are such a coward. What? Do you really think the bed is apparently some super safe place that will protect you from the evils of the world? Taehyung walks toward the dresser and other corners of the room, inspecting it carefully.

“Fucking weird, but nice room, right?” he asks under his breath. Taehyung throws a glance over at you. “You don’t know where you are…I don’t know where I am…we both wake up in a strange room and neither of us have any recollection of how we got here.” Taehyung takes a pause to gather his thoughts. “Have you heard anything? You know, from outside the room? There could be other people.” He waits for you to answer but you stay quiet. Yes, you are on that level of coward.

You stay in the bed, anxiety building up, growing fiercer by the second. While it seems Taehyung’s attention is being stolen by the large window where the sun invites him to come take a peak. He tip toes over to the window, lifting the blinds and exposes something you imagine takes his breath way due to his audible gasp.

“Where…the fuck are we?” he asks breathlessly.

Instead of looking for yourself, you stay seated. But are we surprised? You study Taehyung’s expressions, watching for his reactions. His face falls into one of awe but after only a few moments in settles back into confusion. He reaches for the bottom of the window sill and lifts upwards, opening the window and releasing the sound of…is that waves? You continue to observe him, too afraid to see for yourself. He stands there for several long moments before turning your way and he clears his throat.

“I—I don’t…I don’t know where we are, like, really.” He takes a hesitant step towards the bed. “But something tells me neither of us are from here.”

You need a minute. Yeah, you need a minute to process his words. Because what the fuck does he mean by that? You aren’t ‘from here’? Are you on another planet or some shit? This man needs to work on his wording, for Christ’s sake. You feel your hand move just the slightest. Then your other hand. Your toes curl in and out. Seems you aren’t so frozen anymore. Things are, yes things as in waking up with a total stranger and him saying you are in an unknown place, are starting to wake you up. You’re so ashamed your solution to all of this was to stay seated in bed…but for some reason a rushing sensation of bravery washes over you.

You rise from the sheets and step one foot on to the floor. It’s not lava. So you step down with both feet and make your way over to Taehyung. You stop in front of him, tilting your head up since he has several inches over you—but nothing too intimidating, you decide. His eyes find yours and you lock eyes for a few moments. Both of you trying to search the other for answers. You break contact to face the window and wow. Your eyes animatedly widen at the sight. Palm trees and water for miles and miles it seems. No other buildings or sign of life. An island? But not the kind of island where this room is a part of some fancy resort, no, not that kind. Instead the kind where a plane crashes and a group of people have to survive.

You blink down at your new reality. First of all, you live nowhere near an island, so there’s that. You feel the anxiety and frustrations begin to surface again and you can’t help that your eyes begin to gloss over. You snap your head back to get a look at your fellow victim and he looks just as lost as you feel.

“We need to find out what’s going on.” Taehyung takes a deep breath, lifting his head up. He locks his eyes with yours again but you break contact to look at your feet.

“We don’t know anything…would if it’s not safe?” you quietly try to reason.

“Exactly, we don’t know anything and that’s a problem. You don’t expect us to stay in this room forever, do you?”

He has a point and you know it. You want to follow him out of this room but your feet seem to be glued to the floor.

“Well, no. But—”

“Didn’t think so.” He turns away from you, his body shuffling towards the bedrooms door but before he can become out of reach your hand flies to his shirt sleeve, tugging it softly.

“Wait! Just hold on—” Your voice wavers and Taehyung rolls his eyes. Rolls his fucking eyes at you!

“Listen, come. Or don’t. I don’t really care.” Taehyung releases your hold on his shirt, unsticking your fingers and throwing your hand towards your body. “Decide.” He states before swiftly turning around to head towards the door.

Oh. So this guy is a fucking asshole. Noted.

You end up following him because although he was rude about it, feeling someone’s touch when you feel so scared was slightly comforting and yes, you are aware of how fucking pathetic that is.

Taehyung stands in front of the door, his hand reaching for the knob when he turns his head to say, “Just trust me.”

And now you are the one rolling your eyes. Trust him? You just met the dude! 10 minutes ago his name was Future Murderer. How could you possibly trust this asshole?

“How can I trust you? I literally just met you.” The scowl on your face deepens when he smirks.

“Are you always such a fucking baby?”

“Are you always such a fucking baby?” you mock, eyes rolling so far into the back of your head. Okay, you admit you aren’t being the most mature here. But Taehyung doesn’t seem to take offense to it by the way he gasps and throws a hand over his heart as if wounded.

“Oh? She’s got some sass?” His question and raised brows only piss you off.

“Whatever. Let’s go.” You aren’t entirely sure where the confidence comes from but you don’t question it. You’re breezing past him, your shoulder knocking into his as you approach the door.

You feel Taehyung’s eyes on you and hear him mumble a lame, ‘that’s the spirit’ from behind you. And with that, in one swift action you are opening the door.

You stand in the open doorway, once again frozen in place. Not feeling as confident as you were 15 second ago—maybe you just need this dude to piss you off again. Speak of the devil, Taehyung steps besides you, poking his head out into the hallway searching for any sign of life.

“It’s quiet.” He takes a few steps forward, now in the middle of the hall. You glance around, the hallway has walls full of beautiful artwork, and to the right is 3 doors and to the left is a wide staircase. An exit. Bingo.

“Let’s check each room.” And of course he wants to do the opposite.

“No, let’s just get out of here.”

You turn on your feet towards the stairs and stop at the first step and raise a brow over your shoulder, “Aren’t you coming?”

Taehyung looks conflicted to say the least. He exhales deeply, looking between you and the 3 doors.

“Shouldn’t we just—”

“No! come on…” You must sound pleading and convincing because you can see him falter, just a bit. “I just want to go home…” You say, averting his gaze. Taehyung only stares at you for what feels like an eternity before he’s finally agreeing with the nod of his head.

The two of you very cautiously step down the stairs, each foot that follows the other slightly trembles in the fear of the unknown. You two finally reach the bottom and your eyes go wide at the sight. This is basically your fucking dream house. The floor plan is very open. At the center is a gorgeous grand piano, you don’t play but it’s aesthetically pleasing you guess? To the right is a long table with picture frames and décor and down the hall there seems to be more rooms.

You scan the downstairs as you slide your fingers along the edge of this table and stop when you come across a framed photo. What the actual fuck. Your eyebrows rise and your eyes grow twice their size. You very hesitantly pick up the picture as your eyes blink down at the frame in hand when your breathing begins to pick up again. It’s a framed photo of you and your sister . Now why the hell would this be here? Why is there a picture of you and your sister?? Why would someone have this? The framed photo sits in your trembling hands as you stare down at it. Taehyung notices your shaky grip on this picture and takes it from you to take a look himself. His eyes also go wide…you look between him and the picture.

“Why…why the hell is this here?” your voice betrays you as it shakes with every word.

Taehyung glances down at the table and notices his own photos with friends and family that are disgustingly and proudly displayed.

“What the actual fuck?” Taehyung whispers to no one but himself. What the hell is going on? Why does this house have pictures of the two of you? Who is doing this? Is this some sort of sick joke?

“What’s happening Taehyung?” you step closer to him feeling entirely…creeped out.

“Does it look like I fucking know?” he snaps. He sees you flinch and his eyes soften, “Sorry…Its just… this is going too far.” He finally looks as disturbed as you feel. The two of you stay quiet for a few moments, neither of you knowing how to react to this eerie discovery.

You shudder at how ominous this all is. This is becoming way too much. How much more of this can you handle? You almost want to jump into this assholes arms and sob into his navy blue t shirt.

“We should…” Taehyung wipes his sweaty hands on his sweats, “keep going.”

The two of you nod your heads in unison and turn to your left where there is an entry way to the kitchen and living room. Taehyung stops before stepping through while you join him at his side. You two glance around to soak in your surroundings—it’s also an open space, the two open areas sharing a space. The kitchen is covered in black granite and wooden cabinets with a door that probably leads outside. The living room has two matching sofas, a wide screen TV that hangs on the wall over a fireplace and built in shelves on either side, full of books, movies and games.

Taehyung and you share a look before walking through to the kitchen and living room. You approach the rooms slowly and carefully, afraid of what you might find. What surprises could be lurking. Suddenly the white glow of the TV can be seen, making you jump with its sudden brightness. Why the hell did the TV just turn on? Is this like, a haunted house? Are you being fucking haunted? Okay, maybe that’s dramatic.

The screen is bright white with nothing else on it. You turn to face Taehyung who is already staring at you with brows pinched together in confusion. Same Taehyung, same. The two of you decide to walk closer to the TV when dark, bold numbers appear.

“10….9…8…..”

The sound of soft music can be heard playing from the TV, similar to the music that’s played in an elevator, as numbers counting down from 10 begins. You feel your insides twist and turn.

“….7….6…..”

Panicked, the two of you inch closer and closer. You two stand here waiting for something, anything to occur because these might be the longest 10 seconds of your life. The millions of questions you have only multiplying. With the seconds counting down and getting closer to zero, your breathing about fucking stops. What is going to happen? You can feel your palms grow sweaty as your heart beats out of your chest. It feels like the countdown to the end of the world.

“….5….4….3…”

You don’t think Taehyung realizes just how close he is to you, his shoulders bumping into yours. You guess fear does funny things even between strangers.

“….2…..1…….”

And then it finally happens. The timer finally reaches fucking zero. And it is safe to safe your attention has been caught…anyone’s would be if a screen greets them with their god damn names.

“Welcome Kim Taehyung and Y/N Y/LN”

Your names on the screen has you automatically feeling nauseas. What sort of sick game is this? Is someone setting you up? Pranking you? If so, shits not funny. But also, why is Taehyung here? Your eyes focus on the screen as it moves to the next slide.

“It is a great honor that you two have made it this far. You have been carefully selected in this company’s project. After a lot of consideration and impressive results—we have decided to move you to the next phase.”

Naturally, very naturally you become even more confused than you fucking started. What projects? What company? You can hear Taehyung swallow hard, his nerves spiking with each word he reads. Then the slides continue.

“To put it simply, we are in the business of love.”

Huh? Huh?

Taehyung and you break your focus on the screen to steal a glance as one another very briefly before turning your heads back to the TV. What the hell they mean love? What is this absolute nonsense?

“Our use of science, technology and logic has got us here today. We test and heavily observe our chosen subjects and decide if they are the perfect match. We then move them to the final phase: The Island. This is where the two subjects meet and get along for the first time. The place they will undoubtedly fall in love.”

You can’t help that your mouth falls open, you are sure your eyes are bulging out of your head. You dare to turn to look at Taehyung and he isn’t looking much better.

Before you can really gather any thoughts the slides continue.

“Our success rate is 99%. You WILL fall in love here, it is most probable. Other subjects will come to fall in love quickly, other will take their time. BUT don’t take too long~ If two subjects are taking too long to make progress we will send a ‘Request’ to move things along and if you fail to meet said request there will be a penalty. And you have 24 hours to complete the request. This is to help you.”

You shiver while reading the words before you. You are now too anxious to even look at Taehyung right now…you don’t want to even see his reaction to all of this. Is he anxious like you? Is he laughing because there’s no way this is real? Is he nodding along taking notes because he believes it? You don’t want to fucking know!

“We give soulmates the opportunity to meet and thrive. This particular project has been in the works for well over a year.”

You blink lazily at that. Well over a year? WELL OVER A YEAR? They’ve been watching you for over a year?!

“We have carefully observed each one of you in great detail. There is nothing we don’t know. We have matched you two to be most compatible.”

Nothing they don’t know? What the hell does that mean? How exactly did they fucking observe you two? You stand here with eyes wide open and mouth agape. Taehyung mirrors your expression. He doesn’t want to believe this either.

“And you two are finally ready to proceed with The Island.”

The two of you stand in the living room, dumbstruck. Absolutely dumbstruck. You aren’t even able to look at one another for more than a hot second. A harsh blush creeping on your face and you cringe because there’s no way you could blush for this asshole.

You just…you cannot believe any of this. You refuse to. This is ridiculous. Insane.

“This island is only for the two of you. Designed specifically for you. You are being constantly monitored. Hidden cameras are placed all around the house. Minus the bedrooms and bathrooms. The décor and food is to each of your likings, we want you to feel at home as possible. Everything including books, movies, games and rooms are to your likings and match your hobbies.”

Wait a minute. You frantically shake your head, blinking furiously. Constantly being monitored? AKA you’re being fucked spied on? How are you supposed to do anything knowing you’re being watched?

“Your families have already been notified of your absence.”

You feel your heart drop. You didn’t even consider how they might feel.

“You will return safely once we feel we are satisfied with the results. This can be 3 months, 6 months, a year or even more.”

You feel Taehyung spin to face you in complete shock.

“We understand this may seem awkward at first but things will evolve naturally. So you should not worry.”

These words do not bring the least bit of comfort.

“Besides the ‘Requests’ we will not interfere. This is YOUR time to fall in love.”

“Thank you so much for your ongoing participation and please enjoy your new home and of course, each other. <3”

The added heart at the end of the last slide has both of you scrunching your faces in disgust. With that, the TV shuts off, showing nothing but the dark black screen and the reflection of two ghosts. What. The. Fuck.

You’re sure your expression is as clear as day; a mix between anger and hopelessness. You don’t want to look at Taehyung, not after everything you just read but you know you should. So you tip your head to the side to get a good look at him. Worry. All you see is worry. Look, he might be hot as hell but there ain’t no way you can fall in love with this dude. But also, you don’t know anything. You gulp, there is one thing you know. You’re going to be sick.

Your nausea is so built up, it’s at the entrance of your throat begging for release. You stand here, running a clammy hand through your hair. You are going to puke, you know it.

Without any further thinking, you run towards the back door in the kitchen that thankfully leads to outside. You run down a path that you pray to the God’s that this path does lead to the ocean so you can drown yourself in some good ol’ waves. Your anxiety has you out of breath before the run does. You finally reach sand that is warm and grainy under your bare feet and follow it to the shore.

It’s beautiful actually. The view. You wish you could really take it all in and let the calmness of the waves relax you but you are seconds away from upchucking last night’s pizza rolls. But it never comes. Your guts never make it out of your body but the anxiety remains. Falling to the ground, you pull your knees into your chest, trying to breathe and most importantly trying not to cry. This is no use though and to be honest you don’t try very hard because tears are cascading down your face within seconds. You can feel the burning in your chest as hot tears fall onto the warmth of your cheeks and it breaks you further. You sit here and wonder if you are really stuck here in this place and with a complete and total stranger. The same thought stays with you as you ball into yourself.

You sit here, indulging in quiet sobs until they finally ease into soft sniffles. You reach up to wipe your eyes, ridding yourself of tears and the thoughts that came along with them. You need to think more clearly. Okay, positive thoughts. Come on y/n, you can do this. Positive thoughts. First off, you’re not alone. You are not the only victim here. You have an acquaintance here who you are sure isn’t very pleased about this either. But wait—would if this guy is a total weirdo? A psycho? Okay, maybe being positive is harder than you thought. Plus he was a total asshole to you earlier. But maybe that will change?

You stand to your feet, feeling more determined than before. You are going to try to make the best out of this shitty situation. You brush away the annoying leftover grains of sand from your legs and your behind and turn around to make your journey back to the house, your ‘home’. Ew, you did not just call it that, you shudder at the thought. Before you start walking, you spot Taehyung aka your ‘soulmate’ ew, you did not just him call him that— sitting, leaning against a tree. Yup, right next to where you just had snot running down your nose. Before spiraling into embarrassment, you take a good look at him and oh. You step towards him and his eyes follow your movements until you are seated next to him. He’s tense, that’s for sure. But you can’t really blame him, now can you? You are a little bit selfish, aren’t you? He is clearly freaking out too yet you ran out on him. You can see his expressions now: confused, anger, upset. And something you can’t quite figure out.

Taehyung looks your way and offers you a small, tense smile and then turns his head away from you to face the ocean again, a sigh escaping his lips.

“I’m not going to fall in love with you.”

You really don’t want to feel offended because hey, that’s fair. But still, this asshole doesn’t even know you so you roll your eyes.

“I’m not going to fall in love with you dude.”

Taehyung glances at you and gives you a look, like he knows that’s impossible.

“Sure.” He says.

“You don’t fall in love with me.” You snap back, feeling like you won something.

“Yeah, that won’t be a problem.” He deadpans.

“Listen…you’re not a psycho, are you?” You narrow your eyes at him. Taehyung stares at you for a second before he dramatically rolls his eyes at you, then he narrows his own eyes.

“I’m not a psycho,” he defends, a serious expression drawn on his face. “But how do I know you’re not?”

You bite down on your lip as if really contemplating,

“Fair point.” You smile cheekily but then your face falls into a frown. “This isn’t…real, right?” you try to brush back your hair behind your ear but the wind makes it difficult. “The TV…this is a joke, right?”

Taehyung looks on towards the ocean, the big blue waves crashing in the distance. He is silent for several long, annoyingly long moments. You can’t help but wonder what goes inside his head, what is he thinking? What is he feeling? It’s got to be similar to you, right?

“Let’s say it is real. There’s a company who…who…spied on us for a year. What does that mean? They hacked our phones? Hacked our homes? How far did they go? They said they know everything…” Taehyung pauses, flinching at his own words. “So, say they do. They believe after all their research we make a good match…the perfect match, apparently.”

“Yeah, I highly doubt that.” You cut in. “We couldn’t even get along in the first 10 minutes—”

“That’s because you were being a baby.”

“That’s because you were being a—Shut up.” You huff.

“Who’s being rude now?” Taehyung smirks. “Listen, I think it’s best if we just play it safe. But I am serious…I won’t be falling in love with you. And I am not a psycho.”

“And I am serious too, I won’t.” you remind him, annoyed. “It’s you who should be careful.” You poke your tongue out and Taehyung rolls his eyes.

“So do you like pancakes? Mister Not Psycho.” You look at him with a playful smirk and he wastes no time to curve his lips downwards.

“Pancakes?” he lifts his brows but then a scowl takes over, “I’m not falling in love with you even if you make me pancakes. I still can’t get over this…they spied on us for a year y/n. Invaded our privacy…this is too much. Too much to be thinking about god damn pancakes”

“Yeah but it seems like we’re stuck together,” you reason, “Whether we like it or not. So you can maybe try not to be such an asshole to me? When I’m just as much of a victim as you are. And we still have to eat.”

Taehyung’s mouth drops a little, then he closes it, screwing his eyes shut. “You’re right…I’m sorry,” he stands to his feet. “This is all just so crazy and a lot to take in…”

“I know…” you pause, “It’s sort of like being on a vacation—”

“Just stop.”

Taehyung walks past you, heading back inside the house. Leaving you alone with nothing but the ocean.

You stare off into the wide unknown, the oceans blue emptiness swallowing you whole. This looks like a dream vacation spot, if you’re being honest. But this? This was about to be the vacation from Hell.

~~~~~~~~

You and Taehyung walk through the door back into the kitchen, a look of grimace on his face while you frown. You two decide to check out what this place has to offer. You’re both clearly skeptical of this whole entire situation, well at least he is. He feels like the only one who is acting appropriately. But he can safely assume you probably are feeling a bit skeptical yourself. You two check to see is there is anything safe to eat—if there even is food. He doesn’t know what to believe. Was this situation, he doesn’t know…real? True? Every word he read, is a loud echo in his mind screaming at him. How could he even take this seriously? How could you take this seriously? This is fucking insane! He looks over at you, who is rummaging through cabinets, you look the same as a few minutes ago—calm with an unsure expression painting your features. He hates how calm you look, he can’t help but feel so annoyed by you.

He takes a look in the large, silver fridge and is pleasantly surprised to see many foods that he likes; lots of fresh fruits, juices, milk, sandwich meats, so on. It is fully stocked. He reaches inside the fridge for a bowl a fresh fruit, his other hand grabbing for a can of whipped cream. He gives you a look and nods towards the bowl.

“Should we test them? See if we die from poison or some shit?” he half jokes, his bitter tone shining through. You try to ignore his bad attitude and smile.

“We’re testing them with a can of whipped cream?” you go for a lighter approach but he just rolls his eyes.

“Go big or go home, am I right ladies?”

You snort. Real life snort. And you consider being embarrassed but you see Taehyung’s eyes light up in amusement before they’re darkening again.

You reach for a strawberry and pop that thang in your mouth, so he does the same. You two chew cautiously, the flavor and juices bursting. These might be the best god damn strawberries either of you have ever had. Such a shame they are being enjoyed in such a situation. He turns to face you, the you who is now stuffing your face with strawberry after strawberry, he can’t help but let a chuckle slip between his lips.

“What? Go big or go home…” you pause, a smirk playing at your lips. “Right ladies?” Taehyung only rolls his eyes at your smart mouth, he won’t allow himself to laugh.

Taehyung is still trying to gather his impression of you. When you first met you were a total cry baby, then you were just annoying and now you’re trying your best to be calm. He recalls how you ugly cried just outside—god, you have been a roller coaster of a person but considering your situation he understands why.

He believes he was more unbothered and brave after having first woken up…but after seeing those framed photos he got freaked the fuck out, to put it simply. Then the TV…everything just went downhill from there. And he sees what you’re doing…you’re trying to be strong. And he hates you for it. Why is he being the weak one here? How are you doing it with such ease? He’s spiraling. His whole life just got put on pause. His dreams and aspirations? Pause. Friends and family? Pause. His love life? P-Pause? He can’t help but worry over every detail, not to mention…is any of this the truth? Are you two just supposed to believe the god forsaken words that you read on the TV screen? And you went on about this being like a damn vacation. Unbelievable! But all he can do right now is breathe in and breathe out and try to be himself. Which at the moment is a really unhappy person.

You and Taehyung continue reaching into the bowl for more refreshing fruit, your fingers brushing against one another like this is a god damn Hallmark movie, but you don’t seem to be fazed by it so he won’t either. Even though it’s driving him crazy, he doesn’t want to touch you. He wonders what your thoughts are on the whole ‘love’ thing? It’s ridiculous. Don’t get him wrong, in a different situation he could see himself getting along with someone like you, maybe even hook up…but fall in love? Not likely. Plus he already has someone. Sort of.

“Ah, wait…” He pauses mid bite.

“Hm?” you hum, mouth full.

“Aren’t we like, supposed to be finding pancake mix or whatever shit you wanted to find?”

With a roll of your eyes, you lick your fingers clean while the other hand lays rest on you hip. (And no, his eyes did not linger when you sucked on your fingers and no, they did not travel down to your hand that rest comfortably on your nice hips.)(And no, he did not just think your hips are nice.)

“Couldn’t find any!” you dramatically yell out, “You guys FAILED us!” you then look over at him with a smirk, ��So much for being experts right?” you scoff, he almost wants to laugh at your dramatics but he just stares at you blankly.

But soon that blank stare is changing into a sour one when he realizes just who you are talking to…the very company that trapped you here. The one that’s watching over you right now. Or so they say.

“We should inspect the whole house.” He says seriously, “You know, get to know this ‘vacation home’ or whatever bullshit you said.”

You look down at your feet, feeling fucking embarrassed.

“Sorry for calling it that I—”

“I know,” Taehyung kind of smiles, “You were just trying to make us feel better. I get it.” His tone is softer than even he intended.

“It didn’t really help, did it?” you scratch the top of your head, feeling sheepish.

“Not really.” He answers honestly, with hard eyes. “Now come on, let’s check things out.”

You nod your head with an eye roll, he still chooses to be dickish.

The two of you walk into the living room to the entertainment center. The TV is surrounded by shelves of books, movies, and games. Apparently all to your liking, so you guess you will see how true that is.

“Woah, there’s Mortal Kombat. Sweet.” You comment, the game case in your hand.

“Woah, I can kick your ass at Mortal Kombat. Sweet.” Taehyung plainly responds while shuffling other games between his hands.

“Don’t even. I will play you right now.” You try lightening the mood but he just rolls his eyes.

“We have other important things to do, need I remind you?” he begins lecturing you and you scoff.

“You don’t need to remind me our shitty situation. Your stupid face is reminder enough.” You bite.

“Oh?” Taehyung continues to look through cases, barely paying attention to you.

“Anyway,” you clear your throat. “There’s tons of movies here and TV shows as well,” you gesture toward the bottom of the shelf. “Some I have never seen before,” you squat down, your fingers brushing against DVD cases until you stop at one in particular, pulling it out. “Like, what the hell is ‘Castaway on the Moon’?”

Taehyung’s eyes widen, “UH, only my most favorite movie ever?” he says, taking the case from you.

“Looks weird.” You comment plainly.

“Weird—it’s not weird! It’s actually really good I swear, actually you know what?” Taehyung huffs out, it’s the first time you’re seeing him get so worked up. It’s amusing. “I don’t have to explain myself to you.” He pouts, clearly wounded you would think to call his favorite movie ‘weird’.

“Plus, who’s weird?” he asks, “What’s with all this anime? I know it ain’t mine.”

You jut out your bottom lip in guilt, your cheeks turning a rosy pink.

“Well, well…”

“Well, well…” he mocks, feeling satisfied.

You raise your eyes to meet his and walk an inch towards him, never breaking contact.

“I’ll give yours a shot, if you give mine a shot?” you challenge, sticking out your hand. He guesses you want him to shake it.

He takes a moment to let his eyes linger on yours. They’re dark. Plain. Boring. Nothing special. He looks away and scoffs but the idea of sharing his favorite movie with someone does pique his interest.

“Deal.” He says, going in for the handshake. He feels your hand in his and doesn’t expect your skin to be so soft.

“Deal.” You say with an evil glint in your eye. “I’m going to make you watch so much good shit.” You continue to hold on to his hand, you look down at them and become slightly shy. You just remembered your situation. You keep staring for an odd amount of time before you drop his hand and shake your head.

“Should we check out the other rooms?” you start walking towards the entry way back into the main area of the house, but stop to turn and look at him.

“Yeah, I suppose we can do that.” He answers back, trying to sound as neutral as possible.

The two of you walk back into the main area where the rooms are located. He hesitantly creaks open the first door. He’s met with a room so fitting. A room full of art supplies. Drawing boards, brushes, paint, etc. He feels his palms pool with sweat.

“Do you make art?” you question, looking up at him.

“Yeah.” He gulps, feeling creeped out all over again. “They really did their research, huh?” he whispers to himself.

You two stand in the doorway, taking it all in. Taking in what this could really mean for you two. It begs the question: Were they really spying on you for over a year? Do they really know everything there is to know about you two?

You softly nudge Taehyung, “Why don’t we move on to the next room?” you suggest. He turns his head to face you as he swallows hard, nodding his head in agreement.

The next room is nothing spectacular, just a home gym.

“You work out?” he asks.

“Barely,” you admit, a small smile tugging at your lips. “I always have the excuse of not having time or not wanting to go all the way to a gym. Guess I have no excuse now.” You look up at him with a sheepish grin. It’s hard to believe you don’t work out, Taehyung thinks. You have great legs.

“I see.” He turns his back to you, exiting the room.

The next room really wows Taehyung. He doesn’t mean for it to. He wants to hate this place.

It’s a room full of musical instruments and recording equipment.

“Holy shit.” He accidentally lets out. He walks around the room, touching things with just his fingertips. “This is like grade A equipment, I could only dream of owning shit like this.” He truly does not mean to be in awe of the music room, you know, because the enemies gave it to him but holy shit!

There’s only one room left and you swear to god it better be for you. You two slowly open the door together to reveal an interests of yours.

“Is this…? Like, a dance studio or something?” He questions, glancing around the room, “Are you a dancer?” he finally looks at you and he seems quite impressed.

You look…surprised, to say the least. Your brows shooting up all the way toward your hairline, your eyes darting all around the room.

“N-Not exactly…I mean, kind of?” you admit, your eyes falling to your hands. He tilts his head in confusion.

“I…I just have a serious interest I guess you could say,” you look all around the room again, “But I,” you play with your fingers. “I have never said it out loud to anyone.”

“Oh.” Taehyung breathes out in understanding. So, these fuckers really did spy on you guys. In depth. You both feel goosebumps rise on your arms, making you both feel a chill.

“Let’s head upstairs. Shall we?”

The upstairs has 4 doors in total. You both know the door closest to the staircase is the bedroom you woke up in.

“There’s no bathroom in this room,” he motions towards the door. “And the closet was empty. So, it’s not the master and that—”

“That means there’s multiple bedrooms.” you finish for him, and you both sigh in relief.

He means, this place has a goal of getting you together, so he wouldn’t be surprised if they only offered you one bedroom, but thank the God that he doesn’t believe in that there’s more than one bedroom.

“Yeah exactly,” he breathes out. “I’m willing to bet the door at the end of the hall is the master. Wanna just skip ahead?”

“Sure,” you agree, walking past him to beat him to the door at the end of hall. But you wait for him to reach the door as well before you’re reaching for the knob and slowly turning it, swinging the door open.

The room is big, a huge king size bed in the center of the back wall. Thankfully, the drapes are dark so not a lot of natural sunlight enters the room, Taehyung thinks.

“Hell yeah, dark curtains.” You say excitedly. Obviously reading his mind.

He follows behind you, keeping his comments to himself as you ooh and aah at your surroundings. He is impressed by the rooms simple yet he guesses you could say intriguing décor. Definitely fits his style, but he won’t say that out loud. As an artist himself, the paintings on the walls are very pleasing to the eye. He wonders if they suit you as well. If you’re his ‘soulmate’ they would, he thinks bitterly. He could see himself adding his own artwork to this room. He wonders if you would be okay with that as well—wait. What is he saying? It’s not like you two will be sharing this room!

You drag your fingers across the comforter on the bed.

“Soft.” You mumble to yourself.

He chews on his lips for a moment before speaking, “You can have it…” he shifts from one foot to the other. “The room, I mean. I’ll just take the other bedroom.”

“Really? You sure?” The excitement is evident in your voice. “Wait no—that’s not very fair. We could thumb wrestle for it or—”

He raises a brow, “Thumb wrestle? Really?”

“Mortal Kombat?” you offer.

“That just wouldn’t be fair, I would win too easily.” He says, not impressed. “Just take the room. I’m sure.”

“Fine…thank you.” you bow your head down in defeat.

The two of you walk towards the master bath and your eyes come close to popping out of your heads. It is huge! And super fancy! He’s not good at fancy words but he’ll put it simply, the countertop is long with two sinks. Two sinks. The shower has one of those rain shower head things and woah. That’s for like, rich people. The way you are gawking at this bathroom tells him you’re having the same thoughts as him. Yours are probably fancy like, “This extravagant marble bathtub looks exquisite against these cream colored walls. Very…dashing.” Or some wild shit like that.

The closet is next, He’ll be completely honest. He forgot you would need clothes and shit. But holy moly, there are rows and rows of clothes, both yours and his. There is jewelry (Not really sure why that’s necessary but like, okay) and shoes on shelves against the walls. It was more than he owned himself back at home.

“Honestly I forgot about needing clothes…since we like…live here now.” The words are sour leaving your mouth, he can tell. But also, you are obviously reading his mind again.

“What? You thought you would be wearing your cute little PJ’s 24/7 or what? Wear nothing at all maybe?” he asks, shuffling from one foot to the other. He’s uncomfortable.

“ha-ha.” you deadpan. “I just haven’t really thought about what this all entails is all.”

He frowns at your words,

“We should probably talk about it, right? What this all means, I mean.” His questions causes a shift in the atmosphere. The air becoming a little thicker.

You only nod and turn on your feet to head back into the bedroom. He quickly follows behind you, both of you stopping at the foot of the bed.

“Let’s talk then.” You bite your lip, swaying side to side.

He needs to be honest. He is clearly so confused about all this. Fucking puzzled. He means, what if just what if this company was real? And this company was…right? Are you really a match made in heaven? No, that can’t be. That would be fucking ridiculous. He’s being ridiculous for even considering it. But you two obviously need to talk. Have a fucking chit chat.

You plop down on the edge of the bed and he follows your lead, finding a spot right next to you. Your knee shakes up and down quickly while you play with the hem of your shirt. You’re obviously nervous as fuck, which he can’t really blame you. He watches you for a few moments before hesitantly placing a hand over your shaking knee, trying to stop the anxious movement and hoping to God he is not crossing any serious lines, he’s just really getting annoyed by your shaking knee and needs that shit to stop. You turn your head to face him and he is met with a look of frustration. He turns his head to face straight ahead and with a heavy sigh he says, “I feel that way too.” Because it’s true, you both must feel the same. It’s not like you want to be stuck here with him either. Right?

You finally let out a long breath, “How long?” you whisper. “How long will we be stuck here?” you begin to sniffle as your eyes become wet. Shit. He brings his hands to his lap and interlocks his fingers together.

“I…I don’t know.” He answers honestly. “But what are your thoughts? On what we read…” he clears his throat, clarifying as if it wasn’t already obvious.

You suck in a sharp breath, “I don’t know what to believe.” You admit. “But we are…” you gesture between you two, “This is—This is not happening.”

Taehyung rolls his eyes as if that wasn't the most obvious statement in the world. He. Could. Not. Agree. More.

You continue, “Someone deciding for me? On this part of my life? That doesn’t sit right with me. No fucking thank you.”

“Yeah, me either.”

“I mean,” you turn to face him, “You seem decent and all, when you’re not being an ass, but this is all insane. Just insane.” You wear an annoyed expression, shaking your head in disbelief. He breathes out of his nose in attempt to laugh.

“Yeah, you’re telling me.”

“But…” you pause, choosing your next words carefully…you have to be careful with this next part. “But if it’s real? What are we—” and yup, just as expected, you are cut off with just a look. He furrows his brows together and pushes his head back in surprise.

“This can’t be forced y/n.” he states firmly. You raise your hands up in surrender.

“Oh my god, Taehyung. I know that! I fucking know, jeez. But we have to talk about all the possibilities.” You say firmly, “We’re stuck here for who knows how long and you read the same thing as me, right?” you push on, “3 months? 6 months? A fucking year?” you drag a heavy hand down your tired face. “And don’t even get me started on these damn ‘Requests’ and whatever they are!” You are clearly very frustrated…Taehyung looks at you with the same pity you’re sure he feels for himself.

“Okay, okay.” For the first time Taehyung speaks to you much more softly. “Listen, they can’t keep us here forever? We are going to prove we are that 1%. We just got to stay out of one another’s way and just wait it out until they return us home.” Then his frown deepens, “But wait, what about the ‘Requests’?” he asks, concern lacing his voice.

You strum your fingers on your thigh, staring down at your lap, in deep thought.

“I know this is weird but…” Taehyung starts.

“I know, we have to talk about it.” You finally look up at him and your entire face has gone pink.

“If the ‘Requests’ are, I don’t know, “pure” enough, we could just like do them?” you look at him with doe eyes, “Or like, if the penalty isn’t that bad…. I don’t know.” You ramble on.

The thing is, neither of you know what to expect from these ‘Requests’ and their penalties. It’s one huge mystery. And neither you nor Taehyung are a fan of mysteries. Taehyung watches as you begin shaking your knee in total panic again when he clears his throat.

“Hey…I think we can worry about that when or if the time comes, okay?”

“When or if…” you repeat slowly. “Okay.”

He stands from his place at the bed and begins walking towards the bedroom door.

“As long as we stay out of each other’s way, we should be good.”

“Stay out of each other’s way…” you nibble on your lips, “Like, we don’t talk or anything?”

“Precisely. You do your thing, I’ll do mine.”

“But—”

“That’s just the way it’s got to be.”

“Fine.” You speak bitterly, “Fine by me.”

Stuck on a beautiful island in a beautiful house with a beau—with a man. What could possibly go wrong? Vacation from hell, here we go.

[abeautifulblog]

Ask inspired by your “scene the author envisions” post - do you have any tips for building a particular atmosphere in a scene?

That is an EXCELLENT question—I'm just not sure I have a good answer for you. 😅

When it comes to getting the scene on the page to match the scene in your head, my general advice is slow revisions. Write your first draft, put it aside for a week, give your brain time to reset, and then when you come back and reread it, it'll be hitting you like it's new. Clunky and/or cringey turns of phrase will jump out at you, and you can discreetly cut them before anyone else has to see your shame. You'll also be able to tell whether the atmosphere is coming across the way you envisioned it, or whether the prose is very facts-&-action oriented.

Do your revisions, put it down for another week, rinse and repeat, until you can reread it without feeling the need to change anything. That is gremble's method for self-editing. 👍

As for how to build atmosphere... hm. I'm not sure I have a conscious approach to it.

I don't think of myself as a particularly atmospheric writer, though that might just be a matter of comparison—because my formative literary influence was Anne Rice and she is ALL ABOUT atmosphere, atmosphere and vibes are what carry her books.

And there are definitely echoes of her influence in my writing, but as I developed my own style, I wound up being more about story and emotional development, and less about atmosphere than Anne Rice. (She does high-key emotion too, but her characters tend to be very static.) When I write, the setting of a scene is usually value-neutral—it's not contributing to the emotional tone one way or the other.

...But sometimes it is. The three most intensely atmospheric examples from my own work that are coming to mind are:

The battlements scene in chapter six of For the Asking (soft and dreamy and intimate)

The catacombs sequence in Song of Selfish Hearts (horror, sterile and creepy)

“This House Just Sings (This House Just Screams)” in A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood (psychological horror, oppressive menace)

All three were meant to be high-atmosphere; I knew when I was writing them that they wouldn't land unless the vibes came across, and so I was ramping that up deliberately. And I'm satisfied with the results, though I would have to pick them apart individually to figure out how exactly I achieved that. o_O Maybe I will someday.

idk man, just find authors you admire and reread them a lot, and try to figure out what it is about their writing that makes it hit so hard. Early Anne Rice (Interview with a Vampire, The Vampire Lestat, and Queen of the Damned) is a masterclass in atmosphere; Sarah Monette's short story collections Somewhere Beneath These Waves and The Bone Key are excellently atmospheric; Karin Lowachee's space operas (Warchild, Burndive, Cagebird) aren't so much about the physical locales, but she builds psychological oppression like a champ. Ditto to the slow, claustrophobic build in Jacqueline Carey's Santa Olivia.

All of those are books I admired immensely, and have reread with an eye toward figuring out how they did it. (lol fuckin' Lowachee though, she is too good, I can't read more than a page before I'm sucked back in emotionally, and rendered incapable of analysis. She is also one of the writers who taught me that less is so, so much more when it comes to writing abuse and its aftermath.)

(Those books are also all really queer, if that sweetens the pot. ;D)

[rubykgrant]

this track from Nightmare Revisited (with different artists doing covers from the Nightmare Before Christmas) is only music and REALLY cool to listen to; it is the “Nabbed” sequence, by the Yoshida Brothers (it combines what initially sounds like traditional Japanese music, then turns into something more like techno-jazz, and it is AWESOME, with some spooky vibes in there)

This is “When You’re Evil” by Voltaire, which has more of a slow old-fashioned gothic sort of beat to it, but still interesting to listen to-

This is a song from DC Super Hero Girls, called “When You’re Mine”, performed by an evil mind-controlling villain. It sounds like a creepy punk-rock song with an edgey vibe-

This is a mix from a parody series, Hellsing Ultimate Abridged (from Team Fourstar). They used the songs “Ready to Die” and “Party Party Party”, by by Andrew WK, in their series, and combined them both together here (the music sounds both gritty and up-beat at the same time)-

This is “Freak of the Week” performed by the band Freak Kitchen, and animated by some amazing artists directed by Juanjo Guarnido; possible trigger warning for some harsh visuals here (nothing major, but mild violence, and it uses some old footage of various circus shows that are potentially intense). Just an amazing song with amazing animation-

Hope some of these are useful!

Okay soo I'm looking for some song recommendations. Lik "edgy" and "villainous" with a beat kinda songs. They don't even need lyrics they just need to be a bop

[icantthinkofanythingcool3]

Hii I saw ur post about short blurbs and was wondering if you could do 5 or 13 🤍🤍

Well this did not end up being short 🤦‍♀️ but here ya go! Hope you enjoy!💜

It had been 2 years since y/n had moved away from Beacon Hills and half of her friends. Kira and y/n had ended up at the same college and in the same dorm. Lydia and Stiles both ended up about a half hour from them in different directions. The group was still close, but things were definitely different for all of them. Kira and Scott had grown apart and Scott and Malia had grown closer. Lydia and y/n had grown closer than before, they were always going back and forth on the weekends visiting with each other. Although y/n and Stiles were really close before, things had simmered down right before they left for school two years ago.

All their friends had sworn that the two were going to be together, even with college coming up. They were going to school close enough where they could totally still pursue a relationship. Somewhere though, Stiles and y/n had ‘grown apart’. At least that’s what their friends thought. In reality, neither of them really knew what had happened. It was like one moment they were falling for each other and the next it was just gone. Y/n and Stiles had both tried on different occasions to talk to each other, but something always got in the way.

Y/n walked into her apartment, that Kira was decorating...for Valentine's Day. “UGHHHHHH. Kira I thought we decided not to make a big deal out of this stupid holiday.”

“No...you decided that. Just because you’re still stuck on Stiles, doesn’t mean everyone else can’t be happy about love.” Kira announced.

“That’s not-no you’re. Ugh, whatever.” y/n replied, not having a come back, because what she had said was true.

y/n was still really hung up on Stiles, she was still so confused about what had happened to them back in Beacon Hills. There had been plenty of times since then that Lydia, Kira, y/n and Stiles had gotten together to hang out, even times when Scott and the others had come down to visit. However, their interactions were always strange and confusing. She hadn’t been able to date anyone else, and was honestly just making herself super unhappy.

“Before you make yourself too depressed, this was slipped under the door for you today.” Kira handed her a note, folded up with a huge heart on one side and y/n on the other.

“What...what is this?”

“I don’t know silly, clearly I haven’t opened it...since it’s for you…”

Y/n’s eyes rolled as the note was opened. It was typed and it read:

"When love is not madness it is not love." –Pedro Calderon de la Barca.

I have felt nothing but madness from the moment I laid eyes on you.

As she read it to Kira, she let out a screech, “y/n!!!!! Omg you totally have a secret admirer! This is so EXCITING!”

However y/n was doubtful, she left Kira to go to her room. Who on Earth could have sent this to her? Was it a joke? Was it real? The next day, nothing appeared under the door and it disappointed y/n, even though they would never admit that, especially to Kira!

The next day however, when y/n got home from work Kira was waiting impatiently by the door with a note in her hands. It looked exactly like the other one. She basically threw it in my face and stood over my shoulder as she repeated ‘open it, open it, open it’ in my ear.

This one read:

“Love is like an hourglass, with the heart filling up as the brain empties.” – Jules Renard. This, I can assure you, is true. I make dumb mistakes every time I’m around you.

“I literally have no idea who could be doing this. I don’t talk to anyone, no one even notices me around here!” y/n exclaimed, confused.

“Well, you must be wrong, because someone is DEFINITELY noticing you!!!!”

“No, this is just wrong. This has got to be a joke or something. I’m telling you. Throw away any other ones, I’m serious.” With that, y/n walked into her room and slammed the door, she was done with this.

The next day was normal, but y/n wasn’t hopeful that she wouldn’t get another letter, and the next day, the 5th of February, Kira was waiting again with another note.

“You are my heart, my life, my one and only thought.” – Conan Doyle. You are the only thing I can think about lately, you’re in my every thought.

y/n didn’t know what to think anymore. Was this person a freaking psycho stalker? How did they know where I lived? We’re they stalking me?

“Kira, I know that you’re sitting here thinking this is some romantic love story...but what if this is some crazy stalker that now knows where we live? Like what if they break in and kill us in the middle of the night?”

“y/n I think you’re being a little dramatic. I feel like this is someone that has to know you in some way. This is some intense shit.”

“We’re gonna die...watch.” y/n finished, over the anxiety this was causing her.

Two days later, y/n didn’t have class. She was going back and forth from the front door, to her room. She was stuck between being excited and worried. Half of her believed that this was some kind of cruel joke, the other half thought maybe someone actually did like her. By 4 o’clock, she thought maybe that it was over, but as she made her way out of there room, there was a note by the door.

"Every heart sings a song, incomplete, until another heart whispers back." - Plato. This one may be corny, but it’s true, I feel this with you.

This definitely sounded like someone that knew her. But how could she be so oblivious? How could there be someone this into her and she had no idea. That’s why she still believed that this could be a joke. Like clockwork, two days later she got another note.

“You know you’re in love when you can’t fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.” – Dr. Seuss. I swear since I started these notes, I haven’t been able to sleep at all. I know this is probably starting to creep you out, I promise that you know me and I know you. I’m not a random person.

“I’m sure that this is supposed to make me feel better Kira, but I feel worse. How do I not know this person likes me, if they like me this much?”

“Well, I’ve been thinking from the beginning of this, do you think it could be Stiles?”

“WHAT?” y/n asked incredulously, “Come on, there’s no way. First of all, that would mean he would have to drive a half hour here and back every other day to slip these under the door? There’s no way, that would be crazy.”

“I mean, you guys definitely had something and then suddenly you guys just stopped. You’re still awkward around each other, maybe this is the only way he can get you back?”

“No. Seriously. Stop that’s, that’s. No, that's crazy.” But later that night, what Kira said had gotten the best of y/n. She did something she hadn’t done in a while, she called Stiles.

As soon as he answered, y/n regretted it, “y/n? Are you okay? Did something happen?”

“No, no nothing’s wrong. Sorry, I’m not even sure why I called…...I’m sorry.”

“You don’t have to apologize for calling, you know.”

“Yeah, sorry- shit I mean okay. I-I gotta go talk to you later.” And she hung up, she felt so stupid why would she call him? Kira and these damn notes have gotten her head all twisted up. She should know better than to think Stiles could have done this, she was getting her hopes up just thinking about it.

Two days later, y/n could hardly think at work. Her mind was all in a swirl and she kept making mistakes and dropping shit, by the end of her shift she was exhausted. As she had expected, when she got home, Kira was sitting on the couch, holding a new note.

“Lovers don’t finally meet somewhere. They’re in each other all along.” – Rumi. I haven’t known you forever, but when I met you it was like I had known you my whole life.

“There’s only three days left until Valentine's Day. What’s going to happen? Is this all leading up to something? Or are the notes just going to stop?”

“I guess that’s the fun part!” But when y/n looked at her pointedly she continued, “I know this is freaking you out and giving you anxiety, but this could be a good thing. Whoever it is, really cares about you. And I’m not getting creepy vibes from any of this, if someone was going to break in and kill us, I think they already would have.”

y/n knew that Kira was right, she shouldn’t be so freaked out about this. It didn’t seem like a creepy kind of thing, the notes were sweet and heartfelt, and they definitely, probably would have already been killed. So all y/n could do was wait.

As y/n made her way through the day before Valentine’s hazily, she could barely focus. She kept texting Kira, asking if she had found anything yet. Seeing as she was still in class, she had not. Y/n wanted nothing more than to leave her classes and go to the apartment, but she knew if the note wasn’t there yet, she would get even more impatient. So when Kira finally texted her that she got home and there was a note, y/n excused herself from her class and rushed home. Kira was waiting, almost as impatiently as y/n, with the note in her hand!

“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.” – Lao Tzu. Meet me at Hilton tomorrow, 7PM, there’ll be a note left at the front desk.

“What? Kira, am I really supposed to just go to this random hotel and meet this random person?”

“I mean they said you know them, so they’re not that random!”

“I know a lot of people! It could be the cute barista that gets my coffee everyday! I technically know him, but would I go into a random hotel room with him? NO.”

“Okay, then I drive you there, and you keep me on the phone. If anything funky happens I’ll run up and save your ass. I think you should go. I see the look in your eyes when you read the notes, you’re excited. I haven’t seen you genuinely excited in a long time.”

Kira had saved my life multiple times, I trusted her, and it was a good plan. I was excited, she was right, I was stupid for thinking that I would get it past her. And I wasn’t exactly defenseless, I had learned to fight through many years of fighting off the supernatural. I decided it couldn't hurt, if anything it would end up a good story to tell one day.

The next day was torture waiting for 7pm. Especially since y/n had no class and only finding an outfit to distract her. y/n called Lydia in the morning, while Lydia had been pissed that she’d only just heard about this, she insisted on y/n video chatting her to pick an outfit. Together, they had decided on a blush pink dress, with a small flower design. There was a belt that tied right under the chest, that accentuated the top of y/n’s body and flowed down nicely to a little above the knee. They picked out black kitten heels, which according to Lydia, y/n should have already had. It was 4:30 when she got home, already ready to start her makeup to keep her distracted. Kira helped her do her hair nicely and put on minimal makeup, to highlight her best features. By 6, y/n was ready to get in the car, but the drive was only 15 minutes. Kira tried to distract her with finding things to fix, like an out of place hair, or too much highlight. At 6:30, she couldn’t distract her anymore and they got in the car. She drove slowly, constantly trying to hit red lights. Although, y/n had noticed, she pretended not, too.

Freaking out at 6:50, y/n got out of the car by the entrance. Looking at Kira who gave her a thumbs up, y/n walked in and to the front desk.

“Hi, um, I was told there was a note going to be left for me here?”

“Ahh, you must be y/n, yes?” The desk attendant said to me, smiling brightly.

“Yes, that is me!” I said, nervously.

“Here is the note, don’t be so nervous. I think you’ll like what is waiting for you!”

She looked at the note that looked the same as all the other ones. The note said:

Go to hotel room #33.

y/n double checked that Kira was still on the phone and went up the elevator to the correct floor. She walked up to the door, but was hesitant to knock. It took her a full minute and many deep breaths to finally knock. When the door opened, she gasped at what she saw.

“Stiles?” She asked incredulously.

“Hi, y/n. I was nervous you weren’t going to come.”

y/n looked down at her phone to see that Kira had already hung up, “I-I, the notes were you the whole time?”

“Yes, I’m sorry, I didn’t know how else to do it. I was freaking out about the whole thing. I know things got messed up before and honestly, I don’t even know why. I didn’t want to mess up again, and I just thought this was the best way to get you to see that I was sorry.”

Y/n took a minute to look around the room. There were two queen beds, both covered in rose petals. There was a small, pink and red bag on one of them. There were actually rose petals everywhere. There were small candles lit all over the room, lights turned down. There was a bottle of champagne on ice and room service on a trolley that contained y/f/flowers in a beautiful vase. It was beautiful honestly, and clearly took a lot of thought.

“y/n?” Stiles started, as she had not said anything after his confession.

“I’m sorry, it’s- I mean this is beautiful. It’s amazing honestly. I can’t believe you did all of this.”

“I’ve loved you for a long time y/n. And I don’t know how exactly we got all fucked up, but I was nervous and scared about what would come to us when school started. I’ve wanted to tell you everyday since that whatever was going on was stupid and that we should be together, but I never could get it out and I’m sorry.” Stiles was nervous, not sure y/n felt the same.

“I don’t know what happened either, if I’m being honest..I felt the same. Scared and nervous. I’ve literally made myself miserable everyday, knowing that I should have done something about what happened. I love you. I’m sorry too, that I didn’t do anything to fix whatever happened. I knew from the moment I met you, that we were meant to be more than just friends.”

Stiles couldn’t hold back after he heard y/n’s confession, his feelings had been overwhelming for so long. He walked closer to her, placed his hand on her face gently, and placed his lips on hers. At first, it was sweet and slow, but y/n moved her hands to the back of his head, pulling him closer. When they both ran out of breath, they pulled away smiling at each other.

“Can I ask you a question?” y/n spoke first.

“Of course, anything.” Stiles answered.

“Why are there two beds?” y/n wiggled her eyebrows.

Stiles face turned red and his hand went to rub his chin, “I well, I mean I didn’t want to-uh...I didn’t want to assume anything, I just, I didn’t want to mess anything else.”

“Well I don’t think we’ll be needing it.” y/n said and pulled Stiles back to her, placing her lips on his again.

[astronomeys]

ADIAML Deluxe first thoughts

No one asked but here it is

Happy Loner: Her voice is so haunting and beautiful, and even though she’s written similarly-themed lyrics a couple of times before, I never tire of it. It fits right in with the rest of ADIAML in that it’s a piano ballad, but I have to say, I wish the sound variation of the album was greater 😅 Regardless, I was really looking forward to this song and it delivered! Gorgeous vocal delivery 💓 Fav lines are “Waking up late, I feel demotivated” and “‘Cause I’m on the edge, and I feel like everything’s too much”

Pink Convertible: It was nice to have something that wasn’t so similar to the last half of ADIAML, but I wasn’t in love with the chorus’ whispery voice sound, perhaps because the lyrics are so cynical and ironic a la TFJ but without her angry, grungy voice. I dunno, I just didn’t connect to this song, but it’s a fun listen at the very least.

Free Woman: HERE FOR IT. It had the more somber ADIAML sound with the piercing lyrics of the political side of the album. I love love love the bridge, it has that strange wobble sound that always catches my attention and is so important lyrically in this day and age of obsession with making women look younger and younger. She also finally wrote a feminist anthem without mentioning men 😅 It just has a really good musical buildup, the song goes so quick you don’t realize it’s 3 and a half minutes!!!

Venus Fly Trap Demo: Okay I actually really like this, it was nice to hear some of the backing vocals with more clarity, and I love hearing her more raw voice (’: It’s part of the appeal in her artistry, especially her live performances!! I definitely prefer the intensity of the album version better, but the demo is a lot of fun!

ADIAML Demo: Go off with that bassoon in the beginning? One of my fav parts of the finished product too LOL. I love how fucking creepy the pre-chorus is too, that shit is wild. I’m very glad she decided to belt it in the album version though because it sounds a little more unhinged which is fantastic. I love hearing her musical process though, it’s fascinating. Like, how she changed the chorus up from the first to the second in her vocal delivery, it was like she was getting more omniscient every time. I can’t tell what she’s saying at the end cuz her voice + my audio processing disorder Do Not Mix, but I think it’s “I am made of God, I’m holy ‘cause I’m alive” which... if I am right about that, what a baller fucking line. Definitely loving this evil vibe from the demo LMFAO

[imdisappeared]

time for some thoughts:

- that basement scene was weird af for me personally. i went like 'are they high? wait ... am i high?' it was all a bit much and i don't get it's purpose especially with the transition to the party without anything really happening. honestly for a second i suspected they would just randomly introduce a seemingly supernatural element à la riverfail 🙃😅🙈 dunno if that was just supposed to be a weird moment like that creepy s2 cabin thing in og skam or i am just not smart enough to get the purpose 🙃

- i am not saying everybody has to like lou. we know close to nothing about lou at the moment so an initial suspicion can be justified. but if that was the whole reason i would expect the same suspicion towards sascha because what do we know about him? equally little. but the energy towards them is SO different it's remarkable. yes they have very different vibes and that also plays a part in it but to me it's clear that the way these characters are perceived has a lot to do with what people are used to see in media

- my 'sascha has unrequited feelings for ismail' (or at least atm it should appear like it's one-sided) theory thickens. i am not at all saying his reaction can't be justified by platonic feelings and the fear of being dropped by a close friend because it sure can and i'd be satisfied with that. but to me the whole set up of the scene felt different. the shared look and the way he took off that silly headpiece (painnn!! my little heart broke) was so intense i feel like if it is not romantic interest it was at least meant to make us believe it was romantic interest

- to me the little 🙉🙊🙈 move almost feels like some inside joke...

- i can't get over the line 'but we don't belong together' in the aurora song... it's right there when they look at each other... and it would be way too on the nose to be good writing (which is why it be exactly the way i'd write it and why i am not an employed writer 😂) but still i can't stop thinking about it

- did the end of the episode only to me feel like a quick pov switch from isi to sascha? the way the last few moments of the episode were filmed? the way their texts switched to sascha's perspective and his texts with ava were shown... i know druck did this in the past already but somehow it felt odd to me so early in the season

- ava and sascha!!! loved their interactions and would love to see them deepen their friendship again even though (or maybe because) that will definitely bring some huge conflict with it. with what we know i feel like saacha does not know (at least not fully) what happened between ava and ismail (lol sis welcome to the club) and it could be very interesting to find out with him

- and last but not least: SOPHIE!!!! 😍😍😍 druck repping SOPHIE for the 2nd time this season now is superior. and 'immaterial' is just a banger (and honestly sascha it was a bit rude to stop that song even for 'cure for me' which is also perfect)

[emotions-ew]

A Collection of Queer Country Artists and Songs for anyone who doesn’t feel like there’s country music they can relate to...

There is this idea that country music is like just Republican men singing about beer, and trucks and also Jesus,  and that is kind of fair because loads of it is but there are some cool as hell queer/lgbtq+ country artists. Finding those and finding that representation in a genre of music I was literally raised on kind of changed my life in a tiny way and I wanted to share that.

(This is by no means a comprehensive list and also I’m basing the “Country” part of this sometimes on my subjective opinion/limited music knowledge so yuh please don’t hate me if I get some wrong)

Also link below for a Spotify playlist of my favourite gay/gayish country music, some mentioned in this post some not, (with a title that isn’t obviously gay for anyone who can’t openly listen to gay stuff on their public accounts for whatever reason) so feel free to skip the massive essay and just jump straight to that. And pretty please repost if I missed anyone/ any songs you love.

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7KB6PmUxnpkU7lih8Bysvw

Artists To Follow:

Chely Wright

- Right off the bat, Chely Wright is a legend and I’m in love with her. So, in the 90′s Chely Wright was kind of a huge deal. She started her career as a singer/songwriter and released her first album in ‘94, which was critically acclaimed although never reached the commercial success of her later works. By ‘97 she was really hitting her stride, dropping her breakout hit “Shut up and Drive” (a personal favourite of mine) followed two years later by the biggest hit of her career “Single White Female”. Throughout all that Chely Wright was, to the world, a good old fashioned, heterosexual southern gal. Privately it was a bit of a different story. She had public relationships with male country artists, all while pursuing a secret decade long relationship with a woman. 

I hadn’t ever really heard a Chely Wright song until a few years ago so I never knew about her music or career pre-coming out but I do know that even though by the time she came out in 2010 she was by no means at the height of her fame Chely Wright is kind of one of the biggest names in country music to be out and proud (in my opinion) and I love her like an insane amount. I literally play her music in my car when I have passengers just so I can be like “fun fact this singer is actually gay-” and then subject them to a lengthy explanation of her entire career. She came out with an album and a memoir and the album is my favourite of her work because it’s so fucking raw and because I relate to most of it immensely. Anyways Chely Wright went fucking through it in her journey to being her authentic self and now she’s out and proud and married to a woman and they have a family together and I’m a fucking sucker for a happy ending and y’all should add her to every playlist you have. And on top of that her music is genuinely good. Coming out undoubtedly damaged her career but I think that

Brandi Carlile 

- As far as I can tell Brandi Carlile has been out her whole career. I feel like this list is just going to be me saying “I’m in love with her” about a bunch of women old enough to be my mother but in my defence, I am honestly in love with her. She’s been making music since she was like, seventeen, and has had a bunch of massive hits, as a singer, songwriter, and producer. If you want to cry kind of happy tears listen to her performance of “Bring my Flowers Now” with Tanya Tucker. She’s won Grammy’s and CMT awards and she’s done it all as an out Queer woman. She’s also a founding member of The Highwomen, an all-female country music group who released their first album in 2019, comprised of Carlile, Marren Morris, Natalie Hemby and Amanda Shires. I really love this band because they’re four artists who are immensely successfully in their own right collabing, much like the Highwaymen, and their music is phenomenal while also being a fuck you to mainstream country music and their inability to properly represent women in country music spaces. 

She’s been married to a woman (smoking hot and also brilliant) since 2012 and they have two kids together and if you want to cry (again) then you have to listen to her song “Mother” about her eldest daughter. A queer country artist absolutely worth adding to all your playlists. 

Brooke Eden

- As I understand it Eden came out publicly in January of this year. She’s engaged to Hilary Hoover, who she’s been dating since 2015 apparently. I can’t even imagine the pressure that must be on a person and how stressful it would be to keep a relationship secret from the whole world for years and personally I think they’re a cute as hell couple and I wish them literally all the happiness in the world. 

Brooke Eden has a few older songs that I think are really good, my favourite being “Act Like You Don’t”, and while her new stuff isn’t my usual country vibe I am a sucker for literally anything gay and it is legally my gay duty to stream any song that she releases to support my fellow queer. It’s quite different to anything Wright or Carlile sing but I actually kind of love that because it shows that country music of all different shapes and sizes and styles can be sung by queer artists. 

Amythyst Kiah

- Okay so I am a very new listener to Amythyst Kiah, but her music is literally so beautiful it would be a straight up sin to not include her on this list. Her music is country-blues-roots esq (more roots than country, I think?) and her voice is so unique. She grew up in Chattanooga and has been playing music since childhood. She recently made her Opry debut which is fucking awesome. She also belongs to a band called Our Native Daughters, described as “A supergroup of Black women in traditional music”. Their debut album “Songs of Our Native Daughters” did numbers and I haven’t listened to the whole thing but my favourite so far are “Black Myself” and “I Knew I Could Fly” so y’all add that to your playlists along with “Wild Turkey” by Amythyst Kiah because holy hell her voice on that will blow your mind.

Steve Grand

-        The first man to make this list, he should frankly be honoured. Grand has been an out and proud gay man making country music since like 2013, and I have so much respect for an artist who chose to simply never be in, choosing instead to simply write gay ass songs about being in love with men and letting the chips fall where they man. His music is always going to have a special place in my heart and, he’s cute so if you’re into men and music by men give him a google. add him to your playlists, his All-American Boy album is literally just a dozen songs that are perfect to yell-sing along to.

Katie Pruitt

-        Not hugely knowledgeable on Katie Pruitt but her music makes me feel crazy intense emotions and is absolutely gay

 Honorable Mention Artists I haven’t Really Listened to But Who I Know to be gay thanks to google and might be your thing so totally check them out:

Brandy Clark

Ty Herndon

Shelly Fairchild

Lavendar Country

Trixie Mattel

Cameron Hawthorn

Drop any other names of artists or songs you know of 

 Specific Songs That Make Me Fucking Cry or (in good and bad ways (but always in a gay way)) or basically are just gay as hell:

If She Ever Leaves Me; The Highwomen

- So, this album came out about a week before my first (and only) girlfriend broke up with me. The general gist of the song is a woman singing about how her loved isn’t ever going to leave her but if she does it sure as hell won’t be for a creepy man in a bar. A little ironic that I felt I related to it so intensely, considering she did in fact leave me. There’s this one lyric that goes “I’ve loved her in secret/I’ve lover here out loud/the sky hasn’t always been blue” and my girlfriend and I were crazy deep in the closet so I drew her a cute little picture of a grey cloud and on the back I wrote that lyric and I gave it to her and to me it was kind of a promise that one day I’d get a chance to love her out loud and even though I never actually did this song is forever going to make me cry because of the little bit of hope that lyric gave me and the way it’s inclusion on this overwhelmingly mainstream country album made me feel like acceptance was just that little bit closer. 

 All American Boy; Steve Grand

- Definitely one of the first gay country songs I ever heard, and Steve Grand didn’t once sacrifice a scrap of country for the gay. It’s beautiful, it’s a little sad, it’s hopeful. It’s forever going to hold a special place in my heart and the music videos is kind of one of my favourites ever. I found this song before I found myself and the way it made my heart warm should have been a stronger sign than I took it to be. 

Like Me; Chely Wright

- When you love someone you kind of make it your mission to know them in a way that no one else can. This song by Chely Wright is sort of an ode to that, and how even once you lost someone, you’re still going to know every little thing about them. On top of that it sort of speaks to the idea that all these things Wright learned about this woman, she learned in secret and she knew her and loved her in secret and now that they’re gone from each other she’s left with all of this knowledge and all of these questions and no one to answer them. I love the way it’s so slow and the melody and her voice, the way it’s low and a little raspy, make this one of my favourite Chely Wright songs.

The Mother; Brandi Carlile

-        Sorry but a song about being a mother by a queer woman is going to make me cry every time and actually I’m not that sorry. It’s quite a simple song, if any song written by Brandi Carlile can ever be described as ‘simple’, it’s an ode to her daughter. My favourite line is “you are not an accident/where no one thought it through” because it speaks to the fact that in order for queer women to have a kid together they have to want it so damn bad and also I just like the way her voice sounds on that line. This song is also the perfect thing to listen to if you ever for a second feel like being gay/queer is going to stand in the way of you having a family because it absolutely doesn’t have to and if that’s something you want, you can have it. Don’t let people try and convince you otherwise.

Loving Her; Katie Pruitt

-        Unapologetic gay love. Opening a song with “If loving hers a sin, I don’t wanna go to heaven” is a fucking baller move and she went there. The lyrics are beautiful, and her voice is phenomenal. It could be a sad song, about confronting religious repression and grappling with what that means for your love, but instead its triumphant. Katie Pruitt doesn’t give a fuck if you have a problem because she’s going to write songs for her lover.

Jesus From Texas; Semler

-        Not actually totally sure this is a country song, but it has the words ‘Jesus’ and ‘Texas’ in the title so I feel safe including it in this list. Honestly, I don’t really know why I relate so hard to this song. Like, I wasn’t really raised with religion, so I don’t know what it is about this funky little tune that makes me want to sob but there’s something about this tune that makes me want to do whatever the opposite of get up and dance is, but like, in a good way.

Lovin’ Again; Steve Grand

-        Breakup song that ends kind of positively? So good to sing along to at high, high volumes. The idea that losing someone doesn’t have to mean losing yourself and just because you can’t love them doesn’t mean you’re not ever going to love again. But also kind of about how it’s hard to get over someone, I don’t know it’s just good.

Cryin’ These Cocksucking Tears; Lavender Country

-        Jesus christ if this isn’t the coolest shit I’ve ever heard in my life. Sorry but a gay country group formed in 1972 who dropped possibly the first gay themed country album, and this was the title of one of the songs. God I am in love.

 Songs that (to me) are a little fruity or that I just relate to in a gay way:

Picket Fences; Chely Wright

-          Chely Wright is gay but this song came out long before she did and when she wrote it, it wasn’t supposed to be gay which is why it’s in this section and not the previous. The reason it’s included at all is because frankly ma’am, Mrs Wright, it’s a little fruity. And I feel a little bad for joking because honestly to me, the way I hear this song and knowing the context (that Wright was deeply closeted at the time she wrote and released it), it’s kind of just sad. The general gist of the song is Wright asking what’s so great about a traditional lifestyle anyways. It could be read as a woman genuinely questioning why we push that expectation that she’ll have two kids and a husband and a picket fence lifestyle, or even could be read as a woman who’s trying to deflect how much she does in fact want that, you have to listen and form your own opinion. But to me, it feels like a woman who’s desperately trying to justify why she doesn’t want that life not because she can’t have it, but she knows it will never be right for her. I don’t know it’s hard to explain I just feel like this song is a little bit gay even though I’m sure she didn’t intend that.

Sinning with You; Sam Hunt

-          Sorry but this song is gay. Sorry but you can’t write the lines “I never felt like I was sinning with you/Always felt like I could talk to God in the morning” and “if it’s so wrong why did it feel so right” and “But I never felt shame, never felt sorry/Never felt guilty touching your body” and not to mention the opening line of “raised in the first pew/praises for yeshua/case of a small town repression”, and expect to not sit in my car sobbing as I realised that while I never felt like what we did was a sin she absolutely did, and wishing I could have told her that I was sorry for making her carry the weight of both our souls but also that it wasn’t a sin and nothing in the world could feel that good and be that bad and it isn’t right that she had to be so ashamed of something that was just so good. Sam Hunt actually said after he wrote the song that while it was reflection on his own relationship with faith he genuinely hopes that people in the lgbtq community can like find comfort or whatever in his words and like go off king, we stan an ally.

  How do I Get There; Deana Carter

-          This ones easy, it’s about falling in love with your best friend and suddenly realising you want more than just friendship with them. Sorry Deana, that’s gay. In my Deana Carter of like Year 10 I played this song on repeat and screamed along to the lyrics as though singing it hard enough would make her like me back.

[queermetalgremlin]

A Serbian Film’s soundtrack review

Yes. I’m dead serious.

To be honest, it’s really not bad, regardless of the movie it’s in. It’s got vibes, eerieness and a certain edgy... well, edge. And since i have nothing else to do (aka i’m drained of any energy i had today) i’ve decided to review every track on this godforsaken movie.

01 - The End

The most chipper and upbeat track of the whole soundtrack. The bass sounds like a fart and it can drag a bit, but other than that it’s a pretty catchy tune, that heavily invokes the ‘80s, mindlessness, consumerism and cheap porn. Speaking of which...

02 - Cheaporn 

One of my favourites. Haunting, menacing, with an almost obsessive vocal sample, that reminds me of an authoritative figure barking orders to a confused and vulnerable employee, like Milos is, doesn’t overstay its welcome, short and “sweet”. The perfect theme song for a character like our protagonist. 

03 - Tone Deaf

Pretty chill track, but boy is it repetitive! It just becomes a drag after a while. Also the random rises in volume are annoying af.

04 - Decollection

Eerie, desperate, hopeless, dark. It has an unreal level of desperation, and the vibes give it all away. Amazing.. but i still like Cheaporn more. Can’t control personal music tastes /lh

05 - Radio Waves

It’s nos as music as it is creepy ambient music. Pretty repetitive, can become boring, but gives off the oppressive atmosphere pretty well.

06 - Fancy Porn 

Another ‘80s-sounding bop. Way more mindless than The End, but still retains some shades of dark vibes. Unironically good dance music.

07 - Serbia

Sounds like a track that someone could find in a horror RPG. Captivating and mysterious, it prefectly carries the recurring themes of desolation, with some surprisingly touching and solemn sections.

08- Unsee It

It’s a gut punch. The peak of desperation, despair, hopelessness. Some scattered piano key smashes, very reminiscent of Suicidemouse.avi, and synths that punch your feelings while still being subtle create a very uncomfortable feeling, that stays with you long after the track ends, which is surprisingly soon. It plays in its favour though, it doesn’t overstays its welcome, its looming and despairing welcome.

09 - Rigor Mortis

Harsh yet really damn catchy, with some surprising indian sounding instruments to soothe the mood, before another wave of electronic crudeness hits. Pretty long, but entertains nonetheless. 

10 - Le Club Filth

Despite the name, it has little to nothing to do with the feelings associated with clubs. It’s dry, cold yet hard-hitting. 

11 - W.F.S.

The most cinematic track by far. Despite this, it’s not music. I mean, it has some musical elements, but this is ambient noise. Still kinda disturbing, though, even if it’s wayyy too long.

12 - Balcan Sex God

The return of the fart bass! Bullshit aside, it’s a pretty solid track overall. It’s catchy, still retains the themes of the album, and it may just be my autistic ass, but it sounds... sarcastic, sardonic. Like “Oh boy, you’re not ready , are ya?” and “Here we go, i hope you enjoy it” while knowing you’ll come out of it horrified. It’s a perfect fit for the credits of this movie. So, that concludes-

13 - Pazi Sta Radis

...Seriously? It’s the same fucking song as Balcan Sex God. I tried to listen to these back to back, and i shit you not, it’s the same song. I’ll never get why it’s listed as a “Bonus track”.

So, that concludes this pointless review of the soundtrack of this damned movie. The conclusion? It’s a pretty intense listen, that tends to get too drawn out at times, but is capable of evoking heavy feelings, with a shit ton of vibes and charm. Underrated soundtrack, if you ask me. Don’t watch the movie if you’re sensitive though, i’m not exaggerating.