#(it's not even a joke that's like. true)

[inkskinned]

probably time for this story i guess but when i was a kid there was a summer that my brother was really into making smoothies and milkshakes. part of this was that we didn't have AC and couldn't afford to run fans all day so it was kind of important to get good at making Cool Down Concoctions.

we also had a patch of mint, and he had two impressionable little sisters who had the attitude of "fuck it, might as well."

at one point, for fun, this 16 year old boy with a dream in his eye and scientific fervor in heart just wanted to see how far one could push the idea of "vanilla mint smoothie". how much vanilla extract and how much mint can go into a blender before it truly is inedible.

the answer is 3 cups of vanilla extract, 1/2 cup milk alternative, and about 50 sprigs (not leaves, whole spring) of mint. add ice and the courage of a child. idk, it was summer and we were bored.

the word i would use to describe the feeling of drinking it would maybe be "violent" or perhaps, like. "triangular." my nose felt pristine. inhaling following the first sip was like trying to sculpt a new face. i was ensconced in a mesh of horror. it was something beyond taste. for years after, i assumed those commercials that said "this is how it feels to chew five gum" were referencing the exact experience of this singular viscous smoothie.

what's worse is that we knew our mother would hate that we wasted so much vanilla extract. so we had to make it worth it. we had to actually finish the drink. it wasn't "wasting" it if we actually drank it, right? we huddled around outside in the blistering sun, gagging and passing around a single green potion, shivering with disgust. each sip was transcendent, but in a sort of non-euclidean way. i think this is where i lost my binary gender. it eroded certain parts of me in an acidic gut ecology collapse.

here's the thing about love and trust: the next day my brother made a different shake, and i drank it without complaint. it's been like 15 years. he's now a genuinely skilled cook. sometimes one of the three of us will fuck up in the kitchen or find something horrible or make a terrible smoothie mistake and then we pass it to each other, single potion bottle, and we say try it it's delicious. it always smells disgusting. and then, cerimonious, we drink it together. because that's what family does.

[paintedcrows]

Introducing RoyalAuthor! ...I cannot stop thinking about these old man scientists...

[shesmore-shoebill]

Smosh vs Zombies first episode being about the apocalypse, sure, but also largely being about Savannah and Brodie both desperately trying to get the approval of Gracie (who is awful <3) while Bernardo hangs out and makes Cool Art Kid comments. Which is the perfect level of engaging bc its so fucking funny and compelling narratively but they're all just terrible enough that I wont be TOO broken up if any of them die.

(most of the characters being enamoured with Amanda's character makes perfect sense. im not at all influenced by Amanda wearing a top I find deeply flattering btw)

[imaybe5tupid]

Why bother? (Why bother?) It's gonna hurt me. (It's gonna hurt me.) It's gonna kill when- (Why bother!) -You desert me! (Gonna hurt me!)

Set after Nightmare. Laios is reminiscing and contemplating.

[ube-bluebay]

i have a problem

really long rambling in tags

[vestaldestroyer]

okay, Gerhard is utterly and hopelessly in love with Dali. got it.

[sidsinning]

I think I saw a post of yours asking why Lucifer had a clown circus ringtone and I know you haven't watched Helluva Boss, but to answer that, he also dresses a little like a circus director (don't know if you mentioned that) and in Helluva Boss is mentioned that he has a theme park named Lu Lu World, so it's probably all tied to that.

Also I think that kind of theme park / circus place may be one of the creations he had in mind when the "elders" or whatever said he was dangerous and didn't let him create stuff with them, but that's just my guess.

Yeah he's dressed as a ring leader for a circus bc he rules over the 7 rings of hell, with each other sin representing a different circus act (Mammon the jester/clown, Asmodeus the magician, etc.)

He's so disconnected from the ongoings of hell I wonder if we'll ever get a canon explanation for why he chose to organize things this way

[psychhound]

yall i was searching for something in my google docs and just found possibly the funniest d&d homebrew i couldve ever made i dont remember this at all but im weeping

HEY DO YOU WANT SOME UH,,, ALLERGIES

IF YOU WANT YOUR CHARACTERS TO HAVE ALLERGIES HERE YOU GO

choose a number of allergy triggers from this list: 

specific animals 

specific foods 

plants and plant-based spells or effects 

specific materials or magical items

monster types (beasts, celestials, dragons, etc) 

magical damage types 

specific spells 

specific magical effects 

schools of magic 

spellcasting classes or subclasses 

choose between hay fever, nausea, or anaphylaxis for each allergen  

upon exposure to the allergen, make a DC 10 constitution saving throw. on a successful save there is no effect. on a failed save refer to your chosen allergy symptom 

hay fever: you enter the poisoned condition. your sneezing alerts enemies within 300 feet to your presence. you can make a DC 15 con save at the end of each of your turns to remove this condition 

nausea: you enter the poisoned condition. you must pass a DC 10 con save at the beginning of each of your turns in order to take bonus actions and movement, and beat a DC 15 in order to take actions. on a con save of 20 or higher the condition is removed 

anaphylaxis: you enter the incapacitated condition. you must pass a DC 10 con save at the beginning of each of your turns or your movement speed is halved. on a con save of 5 or lower you enter the stunned condition. on a con save of 20 or higher the condition is removed 

if you are under the allergy symptom condition and roll a natural 1 on a con save, you immediately enter unconsciousness but are stable and do not make death saves 

lesser restoration, protection from poison, and lay on hands all remove the allergy condition. protection from poison does grant advantage on allergy saving throws 

THERE YOU HAVE IT ????? ENJOY ........ THIS.

(for more 5e homebrew including free disability stuff check my pinned!!)

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Besties can't enable pvp on each other, right?

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[the-eclectic-wonderer]

I still can't get over how perfect Time In A Bottle was for the E7 credits. How perfectly it fits with Lilia. The whole theme of time -- wanting to save time, to bottle it up, to control it and make sense of it, while knowing all the while that it's impossible. There never seems to be enough time to do the things you want to do once you find them, because she only realized that she needed her coven and that her life and gift had a meaning beyond running away from death as she was nearing her own end. If I had a box just for wishes and dreams that had never come true, the box would be empty except for the memory of how they were answered by you, because by the end she has no regrets anymore; she has made peace with the death of her first coven, and has found acceptance and community in her new coven. I've looked around enough to know that you're the one I want to go through time with -- she spends the last few hours of her life going through time with and for her coven, in a way the only characters can barely fathom, and I'm 300% sure the clues she gave them are going to save them in the end. How quiet and gentle and wistful the song is, and how quiet and gentle and wistful Lilia's final understanding of her life and her death is. How she falls softly into death's embrace, almost as if she's floating, and she begins again from the first step. If words could make wishes come true, I'd save every day like a treasure, and then again I would spend them with you. I do not have the proper words to convey how all this makes me feel but the more I think about it the harder I sob. Lilia Calderu you will always be in my heart

[falmerbrook]

How I look reblogging posts about embracing your weirdness/being indulgent and how cringe culture is dead when I'm too scared to post anything about my favorite characters out of fear of someone getting mad at me or thinking I'm cringey

[probablygayattorneys]

keep cool down in the quiet of the morning sweat blood when the sun comes through thick mist on the pond before the temple headed down for the final rendezvous

(training montage, the mountain goats)

[skwtches]

“Frankenstein was the doctor” right, but he was also a short stack bird, fyi.

some incidental matching Frankenstein-themed pieces using @tomfowlery’s AU designs of Remus and Piper 💜💚

“but it’s not even fall y-” shhh

[kukekakuningaskris]

my favourite 'joke theory' about why käärijä is joining joker out on tour 'at least until tallinn' is so that he can buy some of that cheap estonian alcohol from the tallinn harbour superalko like every other finnish tourist

[softpine]

i like how we all collectively agreed that covid does not exist in any of our sims stories

[yuwuta]

pls tell us more about itadori twin au with sukuna being the reject degenerate akfjsviusd

ofc this is really just my everybody is alive and well (sort of) fix it au but cw: sukuna slander since apparently he has lovers 😐

yuuji is the older twin and he doesn’t hold that over sukuna, but he does like to remind him of it just to piss him off sometimes. in the grand scheme of things, it makes sense that sukuna is the youngest—youngest brothers are the only ones that act like they know everything, like they hate everyone and everyone, like they never need help with anything 😐

choso is the oldest, and he’s older then them by maybe 5-8 years? idk i haven’t figured it out, just that choso is definitively the eldest, but because he’s so much older, there’s a point where he’s off at college and yuuji and sukuna are on their own and yuuji is technically big brother and sukuna hates that 

the first friend yuuji makes in school is yuuta. the first enemy that sukuna makes in school is rika. they’re all five and learning to write and yuuji gets help spelling a note for yuuta that says he loves him and he’s his best friend in the world, and sukuna uses his talents to make a note that says “i hate you” instead of “i love you” and switch out yuuji’s note. yuuta gets sad and tells yuuji it’s fine if he doesn’t want to be friends with tears in his eyes, which makes yuuji cry, which makes rika mad. she figures out what sukuna did and then gets in trouble for pushing him off of the jungle gym. yuuta and yuuji make up, and rika stays awake at rest time glaring at sukuna for the rest of the year. 

the pattern of sukuna interfering with yuuji’s friends continues throughout elementary and middle school. todo finds a weird sense of joy in it, always claiming it’s “brotherly love” but always offers to substitute in some kinder brotherly love for yuuji when sukuna is being the worst. rika has moved away by now, but yuuta holds her grudge even stronger than she ever did; he’s still scrawny, but he’s not afraid of sukuna anymore and rika was sure to teach him the ways of her death stare, and he’s become quite proficient at it. sukuna does make his own friends, who he treats as his lackeys. mahito won’t admit that he thinks yuuji is actually kinda cool because then sukuna would hit him. urame doesn’t really care. 

sukuna learns to stop messing with yuuji’s friends when nobara comes along. honestly, at this point, nobara isn’t even really yuuji’s friend, but he considers her his friend, plus she’s a girl, which is enough for sukuna to be annoying. she’s the first person to really kick his ass since rika—and she doesn’t even do it for yuuji, she was just having a bad day, and sukuna was talking shit, and the next moment they were fighting. they both get pretty roughed up, but sukuna is the only one with bite marks, and he was about to lose an eye because nobara picked up a rusty nail from near the fence and was 100% about to stab him until a teacher came and pulled her back. they’re both suspended, but everyone at school agrees that nobara won that fight. when they come back, they never speak a word to each other. later on, during high-school, this silent staredown between them still goes on, but weirdly enough sukuna has developed a strange sense of respect for her. he’d die before he admit that he’s scared of her, but she is the one person he doesn’t like to bother. 

when megumi enters freshman year, he’s heard the stories about the itaodri twins, and he’s hoping nobody at his new school knows that he was an ex-delinquent himself because he promised his mother that he’d grow out of it. he has the displeasure of encountering sukuna first, who doesn’t say or do much to him but is kind of a dick. it makes megumi roll his eyes when he’s sat next to him later in his english class, and he asks to borrow a pencil. megumi thinks he’s got some audacity when he was so rude earlier, but then he takes a good look at the boy next to him—his hair is pinker, he’s not frowning, and he feels kinder—and megumi realizes he must be the nice twin. yuuji does indeed clarify that he is not sukuna after class, and their friendship goes from there. unfortunately, it takes megumi sometime to be able to differentiate the twins at a glance, and sukuna likes to take advantage of that by pretending he’s yuuji to mess with megumi. one day he takes it too far, and yuuji ends up being the one to wail on him and the office calls in choso to pick them up, who pinches them both by the ear and smacks them both himself. it’s the catalyst for sending sukuna to the highschool down the road starting junior year. 

by the time you come along in college, sukuna and yuuji have no reason to be tied together anymore. sukuna takes a gap year while yuuji goes off to college. he starts taking school more seriously, starts playing sports, even got himself a part-time job—which his how he meets you. and he really likes you, he likes being next to you in class, he even starts liking group projects because it means he gets to spend time with you (even if you and yuuta constantly correct his grammar), and he really likes it when you stop by the gym just to talk to him while he’s working. and you like yuuji too, he’s sweet, smarter than he gives himself credit for, and really cute, and you’re really, really happy when he finally makes a move and asks you out. 

yuuji is pretty honest with you about most things, so it’s a genuine shock to your system when you find out he has a twin brother. a twin brother that you had the displeasure of running into at the gym, a twin brother was quite rude and crude towards you and put a sour taste in your mouth because you thought your boyfriend was being mean for no reason, only to have the strongest whiplash of your life when you storm out of the gym and into your boyfriend again. you’re trying to convince yourself you’re not crazy, that yuuji can’t teleport, and trying to cope with your hurt feelings all at once when yuuji catches you and explains that you met sukuna. it still takes you a week to digest the information (you’re mad at yuuji and your friends for never mentioning that your boyfriend has a twin), and when you’re finally ready to talk to yuuji again, you knock on his door and it’s choso that opens it saying, “oh, you must be yuuji’s girlfriend! i’m choso, his older brother,” and you swear you’re gonna pass out from anger or confusion because how many brothers does this boy have.