#(it's not EVERYONE on earth I know I have friends who are fellow summer lovers but you know what I mean) | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

missdawnandherdusk · 4 years ago

Text

The Year of O.W.L.s

(Hufflepuff*)!Reader x Draco

Down there

I know there's tons of burdens I must bear

But from up here

The world looks so small

And suddenly life seems so clear

Fourth Year The First Summer

Summary: The events of the first semester of your fifth year unfold at Hogwarts and more than your fair share of obstacles head your way.

A/n: Hello my darlings! So this is from September to December 21st, or the end of the first term at Hogwarts. Don’t dismay at the short time span: This part is over 13k words. I’ve been trying to finish this chapter in lue of what’s happening to offer some escape, so the last bit (thousand words or so) isn’t fine tuned, but I doubt you’ll notice. I love you all so much. Please stay safe and stay creative and always keep fighting. (P.S. some of the canon of the book is changed obviously)

Two people knew what I was doing in the beginning. Then four. Then those four and the rest of my teachers. Then the Head girl for Hufflepuff. The latter knew I would be silent for a month. It had started in the middle of July and would go to the middle of September. It was important that I didn’t say a word. There was something much greater at stake. Something that would take practice and a lot of patience. The latter didn’t know why.

The only one who didn’t know anything, the one that I was doing it for, was Draco. And those that did know, swore secrecy, so Draco would never know. Not unless I decided to tell him.

I barely avoided complete failure twice.

The first time, I almost slipped up the day I had gotten my prefect badge. In my excitement, I had forgotten the task at hand until my mother reminded me and I had to calm myself once more. It was great for my anxiety, this task I took on. It kept my thoughts occupied for the moment and something to focus on.

The second, was when I saw Draco at the train station. Under his father’s gaze, he said nothing to me, and hardly looked my way, confirming my suspicions about his summer silence. Yet, we were both prefects, and as such we were forced together in a small train compartment. Ernie Macmillan, the other Hufflepuff prefect, said hello. I smiled and nodded. Draco didn’t say anything as the Head boys and girls from the different houses took turns explaining what was expected of us all.

“Y/n,” Draco’s voice was quiet and soft as he lingered behind.

I paused, taking a deep breath in, remembering my trial. He couldn’t be the reason that I erred. I grit my teeth in hopes that it would help.

“You have every reason to be mad,” He began softly, his voice barely audible. “I was an arse, and I know it. But you have to understand—”

I raised an eyebrow at him. The first week he didn’t write back was crushing, the second week, I was furious, the third, I started my task. It gave me time to think, and to find my own reasons of why he treated me the way he did, and more time to choose to believe in the good ones.

“Will you say something!?” He demanded, stalking towards me.

And I started to. But, with my eyes squeezed shut, despair washing over me, I fled, back to the train compartment that held Abby and my other friends. Tears slipped down my cheeks as I watched the rain patter against the train window.

“You need to tell him Y/n,” Abby chided.

She wasn’t quite taken with my defense of Draco dropping off the face of the earth for the past month, but she stood by my side and somehow still supported my decision. Abby knew why I was silent; she was one of the first two to know.

I gave her an exasperated look and leaned my head back against the compartment wall with a soft thud, closing my eyes.

______________________________

Draco knew you’d be mad, but at least he thought you’d talk to him. More likely yell at him, but your silence was deafening. Then he found out from Pansy, that you weren’t talking to anyone. At all. In class, teachers never called on you, and you never said hello to anyone in the halls. You didn’t even speak to Abby. It wasn’t dismissive, just not natural.

He didn’t want you to have to vow silence because he broke your trust in him. He wanted you to be mad at him and that was all. He still wanted you to be you. He needed that, even if he had let you go to keep you safe.

“Answer me, you foolish girl,” The grating voice of Umbridge caught his attention.

He looked up and saw that you were staring at her in horror, refusing to speak. Umbridge was towering over you—barely as she had an inch on you—her wand shoved under your chin.

Abby quickly rushed over and Draco stood, spilling his bottle of ink over his transfiguration notes, taking a step toward you before remembering that you were mad at him and probably didn’t want him swooping in and playing hero.

“Ma’am, with all due respect, Y/n can’t talk, I’m sure you got her mother’s letter?” Abby defended.

“I don’t care what her mother says or what the Headmaster says. There is no excuse for her not to answer a simple question.” The witch in pink dismissed Abby and turned her beady glare back to you.

There were tears in your eyes, utter brokenness on your face. He knew that you would give in and speak out of pure fear, throwing away whatever you had been working toward, even if you wouldn’t tell him what it was.

And Merlin damn him if he was going to let that happen. You could be mad at him fine, but he wasn’t going to see you get hurt when he could do something.

“Is there a problem here Professor?” Draco walked up to you and Umbridge, taking a step between the two of you inconspicuously, allowing space for you. His heart leapt as he left your hand softly on his back, clinging to his robe.

“Mr. Malfoy,” Umbridge pressed her lips into a tight line. “I hope you are not preventing me from reprimanding a student.”

“He is not,” Another voice came floating down the hall. “But i am.”

Draco caught sight of stark blue eyes and a stern face and never in his life was he happier to see Professor McGonagall. Professor Sprout and Abby flanked her, all looking quite intimidating as they flowed down the hall.

“I wasn’t aware that you had jurisdiction over her, she is not of your house after all,” Umbridge seethed, taking a step away.

“She is of mine however,” Professor Sprout took a step forward, extending her hand to you. You quickly rushed over and cowered behind her. “And you will respect her wishes as well as the wishes of her mother and of the Headmaster,”

Umbridge, seeing that she was clearly cornered, tutted and turned dramatically, her heels clicking down the hall as she receded.

“Are you alright my child?” Sprout asked you softly.

A gentle nod came from you.

“She didn’t jeopardize it, did she?” McGonagall asked.

You shook your head. Your hand rose to your mouth, three fingers touched your lips and then you extended your arm down. It was an odd gesture he thought.

“You’re quite welcome,” McGonagall smiled. “Come to me when the week is done,”

You nodded again and Abby grabbed your arm, ushering you out of the study room and down the hall. He stared, not sure what he just witnessed. McGonagall caught his stare and raised an eyebrow at him.

“She will tell you when she is ready,” Was all she said then turned to leave, Sprout next to her.

Draco stood there, dumbfounded, before heading back to his seat and trying to salvage his notes what had a pool of black ink in the middle of them. He stole glances at you, and he could see again, you were using your hands in weird motions, and Abby was responding. Not a word left you lips but still you two were in an argument.

He caught your gaze from across the room, and you looked at him. Sadness filled your eyes and your fist came to your chest and made a circular motion before you turned back to Abby.

It was a few days later when he saw you again. It happened at dinner in the Great Hall with his friends, a commonality for the Slytherin house to eat together by year level.

“So how was your summer?” Draco asked Pansy offhandedly.

“You know, travelling in Paris again.” She sighed, getting a mischievous glint in her eyes. “What about you lover boy?”

“Lover boy?” Crabbe snickered. “You got yourself someone to fancy Malfoy?”

Draco scoffed and fought the urge to snap and defend you blatantly. He had to do this right.

“It was nothing major,” Draco played coy.

“We know you Draco, tell me how far did you get with her?” Goyle grinned, nudging his side.

“Honestly, show some decorum you two,” Draco muttered. “It wasn’t like that,” He scoffed.

“So, she put up a fight then?” Pansy smirked at him.

“No, of course not.” Draco folded his arms. “Seriously, get your heads out of the gutters you three.” Then he grinned mischievously, stealing a glance your way. “But she was good, if you know what I mean,”

Everyone listening into their conversation started cheering him on and he gave a bemused smirk, satisfied.

“Weren’t your parents away all month too?” Pansy drawled, catching his game. Draco gave a small nod and a wicked grin, laughing when Crabbe and Goyle nearly lost it.

“So, what happened?”

“Well, the summer ended.” Draco shrugged nonchalantly. “I told her we could still be friends,”

His eyes met yours from across the hall. There was a deep blush on your cheeks and almost a sheepish smile as you looked at him. He noticed that you were talking again, and he was quite relieved that you were getting back to normal, and maybe you didn’t hate him completely.

__________________________________

Meanwhile...

“You’re talking!” Abby exclaimed. “Is it done?” Her tone lowered.

“For now,” I smiled, sitting at the Hufflepuff table in the great hall, still signing the words.

“So, what did you do this summer?” Ernie, my fellow prefect, asked, sitting with us as well as a few other Hufflepuffs. “Now that you’re talking again,”

“Well, my summer couldn’t have been as interesting as Y/n’s,” Abby grinned evilly. “She got herself a summer love,”

My face went red as everyone looked to me. Ernie was skeptical, but the other girls—Hannah, Janis, Taylor, and Emme—we’re all hopeful.

“Well... he was sweet,” I stammered, my eyes darting to Draco sitting across the Hall. “It all happened so fast,” I signed a word here and there before pressing my hands into my lap.

“We need details! Y/n!” Emme squealed, grinning. “Was it love at first sight?”

Abby and I both laughed as I shook my head.

“Goodness no,” I chuckled. “I don’t know what to say. We spent the afternoons together for a month at his place. I read to him and he showed me the grounds... and well,”

“How much did he spend on you?” Hannah piped up, looking awestruck.

“Nothing,” I insisted, smiling to myself. “He was charming. Very different from what I expected, but sweet,”

“Look, she’s blushing,” Emme teased. “Awe, you really like him,”

“So, what happened?” Ernie asked, slightly more invested.

“Well,” I looked down, gnawing on my lip. “It ended, I guess. School started and...” I shrugged softly, my eyes landing on familiar blue ones.

“Does he go here?” Hannah wondered aloud.

My eyes snapped up, wide in panic.

“No!” Abby and I both said together then started to giggle.

“We’re going to figure out who it is,” Emme threatened. “Might as well tell us now,”

“I bet it’s Malfoy,” Ernie muttered under his breath.

I looked at him, my cheeks turning a darker red, biting my lip.

“No!” They all gasped as if it were a scandal.

“He’s actually really sweet guys,” I argued softly. “You saw him last year, at the Year End Feast...” I muttered sheepishly.

“But he’s a Slytherin!” Hannah was aghast.

“Not over the summer! I don’t know, Houses didn’t really interfere... we just were,” I leaned my elbows on the table.

“Awe, I want one,” Emme sighed wistfully.

The table broke out into laughter as the conversation shifted, my eyes stealing glances to the Slytherin table more than once.

.......................................

The Night You Started Talking Again....

Professor McGonagall with the aid of Professor Sprout both aided me that night of the full moon. They vowed to keep my phial safe until the next storm and I was grateful. It was hidden in a cabinet in the forbidden part of the greenhouses.

It took a week for the next storm to roll through. Glad to be rid of my morning and evening daily incantation, I rushed down to the Greenhouses where Sprout and McGonagall waited.

“My child, you must do this part alone I am afraid,” Sprout placed a hand on my shoulder. “Remember, do not be afraid and remember the reason you do this. We will be right here when you return,”

I nodded and hugged her and McGonagall before finding a blood red potion in my phial as I hurried into the rain. I took out my wand and pressed it over where my heart was in my chest.

“Amato Animo Animato Animagus” I whispered.

Downing the potion, I felt a liquid fire in my veins as I cried out. I knew what to expect, I just never thought that it would cause this much agony. My heartbeat thundered in my ears, but it was off. There were four beats and the sound of rustling wings.

Before me, preening itself in the grass was a white barn owl, staring at me curiously.

“You must show no fear. It is too late now, to escape the change you have willed” The owl spoke.

“I am not afraid,” I gasped out.

My senses became sharpened and the rain that chilled my skin bounced off of white and bronze feathers. Disoriented, I stretched my arms—wings out and gave one gentle flap and soon I was off the ground, flying through the rain.

I let out a yell of victory, but all that came was a screech. I could see and hear everything around me. The patter of the mice in the fields below, the voices coming from the school, the thunder that rumbled in the distance.

It took a few tries, but I eventually ended up at the Hufflepuff tower, chirping at my window. Well, I was really calling for Abby, but it came out as chirps. The window opened and I fluttered in, knocking over s few things on my desk in my landing.

“Merlin, it’s you isn’t it?” Abby realized, grinning. “An owl!? Oh, my stars, Y/n!” I chirped excitedly, preening a few feathers, it had the same feeling as brushing my hair. “You have to tell him,” Abby sat at my desk. “He’s going to love this,”

I narrowed my eyes at her. I couldn’t tell Draco. Not yet. I had to get better at it. I had to practice. Then I could tell him.

“Well, go on, I need Y/n back, we have homework,” Abby shooed me out the window and I chirped at her, flying back to where I hid my wand.

The shift back took away the warmth and waterproofing of my Animagus, so I was soaked to the bone when I came back to Sprout and McGonagall. They looked to me expectantly.

“It worked,” I grinned, pushing my hair out of my face. “Thank you,”

“Well?” They both pressed.

“An owl,” I beamed. “I can fly,” It was euphoric.

“An owl,” Professor Sprout was delighted. “Oh, you’ve done very well my dear.”

“Very well indeed.” McGonagall smiled. “Now, off to bed. It’s almost curfew.”

I bid them both a goodnight and headed up to my dorm, where Abby and I freaked out a bit then settled down to work through homework. I sent a letter to my mother right away letting her know what happened. I debated on sending one to Draco, but hesitated. I’d rather tell him in person, or at least show him. But that would have to wait.

It took about two weeks of constant practice in the tree under the lake in the dead of night for me to get the transition smooth enough that I no longer needed the incantation before morphing.

As I was transformed into my owl, of which Abby named Pinnae, a familiar blond-haired boy made the trek down to the tree I was perched in. I watched as Draco sighed and sat down under the tree, a foot away from my wand. I rustled my feathers in dismay, flapping them anxiously.

Draco didn’t notice my semi frantic state. He just stared onto the moonlit lake. I knew that I couldn’t abandon my wand, but I also knew that I couldn’t just randomly show up where Draco was. Preening a few feathers, I nestled onto the branch and decided to wait him out.

“Where did I go wrong,” He asked the water lapping at the bank. “I thought I was protecting her...”

I tilted my head, fluttering to a lower branch.

“It was stupid to even think. Of course, she would hate me. Of course, she would leave,” He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “Maybe my father was right,”

I chirped, outraged. It still didn’t catch his attention. How was he supposed to be the Slytherin Seeker if he was missing the obvious? He leaned back, his fingers brushing the tips of my wand, and he finally noticed. Taking it into his hold, he inspected it.

“Y/n?” He whispered softly. “Y/n!?” He rose immediately, looking around frantically. “Y/n!? Where are you!?” Taking out his own wand he called a Wand-Lighting Charm.

I squinted at the bright light and moved a few branched away from it.

“No, no, no.” He paced. “No! This... I did everything right! I left her so she would be safe! She has to be safe!” Despair was written across his face.

My heart soared at his words, knowing I had been right all along, as I glided to the ground, behind the tree out of Draco’s view, morphing out of Pinnae. Steadying myself on the tree, I rounded it, grabbing Draco’s hand, pulling him close and not letting him get a word in as I pressed my lips to his.

He pushed me away gently, looking me over frantically.

“Y/n?” He gasped.

I rolled my eyes and wrapped my arms around his neck pulling him back into a kiss. As my fingers ran through the ends of his hair, he seemed to relax, wrapping his arms around my back, clutching me to his chest as he pressed his lips to mine harshly.

It was a violent kiss that relieved the past months frustration and anger and sadness, until there was nothing left but affection and need. His breath was hot on mine as his tongue slipped past my lips, making me weak at my knees. My fingers knotted themselves in his hair as he slowly backed me into the tree. Soft sounds escaped my lips and were met with low one from his.

His lips migrated from my lips to my jaw and down my neck.

“Draco,” I panted out. He hummed into my skin, not stopping. “Draco,” I chided a bit more harshly.

He pulled up, cupping my face.

“Don’t ever do that to me again,” His voice was desperate and commanding. “I thought... Merlin I thought they got you Y/n,”

I pulled him into a tight hug, burying my face in his shoulder. His arms coiled around me as he pressed me close. Tears slipped from my eyes as I inhaled deeply, not comprehending how much I really missed him. I was so focused on becoming an Animagus, that the sorrow and pain of his absence had no time to register until that moment.

“Please forgive me, Y/n,” He begged. “I thought I was keeping you safe. I did it to keep you safe,” His voice was shaky as he pleaded to me.

“I’m here,” I consoled, petting his hair softly. “I’m right here Draco,”

“I had to keep you safe from him. From them. It’s all coming Y/n,” He cried into my shoulder. “It’s coming and I can’t stop it,”

“It’s okay,” I whispered. “It’s okay Draco,”

“How is any of this okay?” He asked miserably,

“Because you’ve got me, and I’ve got you,” I pulled away softly and stroked his cheek softly. “Yeah?”

He nodded.

“I still don’t know how to keep you safe,” He mumbled hopelessly. “Because I can’t keep ignoring you like this. It’s driving me mad.”

“Draco, honey, for someone as smart as you, you are incredibly dense,” I laughed softly.

“What?” He backtracked. “Why?”

“Just... don’t freak out?” I slowly let him go, taking a few steps back.

“Why?” He was growing more concerned. “Y/n? What did you do?”

I closed my eyes and pictured Pinnae in my mind, letting my heart beat with hers as I felt myself morph into my Animagus. Fluttering my wings, I looked up at him and chirped.

___________________________

“Oh, you’ve got to be kidding me,” Draco gaped at you—well, the small white and bronze barn owl that was in your place. “That’s why you didn’t speak for a month! I thought you were mad at me!”

The owl—you chittered at him and fluttered up to his shoulder where you pecked softly at his ear. Uncertain, he reached up and stroked the feathers upon your head. You nuzzled into his hand.

“You did this for me?” He whispered softly.

You chirped and he took it as a yes.

He had to admit, it was brilliant. As an Animagus, you could be with him and easily hide when needed. And someone had to be on his side in the stars because your Animagus could also fly. He sat, carefully since you were still perched on his shoulder, under the tree, feeling quite different from when he had first gone out.

“Can I have my Y/n back please?” He asked the owl on his shoulder.

You hopped to the ground and he watched you morph back into a human, sitting beside him. He had never seen an Animagus so up close before. He finally noticed that since you had taken on the new form, your features shifted slightly. Your eyes were larger and more round, your pupils taking a darker hue, and your skin had lost some of its tan, favoring for a paler color.

You hugged your knees and watched the water of the lake, your face pensive. “I did apologize right?” He mused softly.

The smile he was looking for stretched across your face as your eyes landed on his.

“Yes,” The word was warm. “I never lost faith in you Dray, and I missed you too,”

He smiled for the first time in two months and you rested your head on his shoulder watching the moonlight on the lake water. He knew it was getting late, but he didn’t want to lose this, and he didn’t want to lose you. It was mad torture taking himself away from you. It got to a point where Pansy started to ask him if he was okay. And right now, he was.

Sensing the late hour like him, you stood, offering your hand, and it was so familiar and comforting to him, this gesture. He followed you back to the castle, not protesting, as you crept down the hallways.

“Ms. Y/l/n,”

Draco stiffened and you froze beside him, closing your eyes and inhaling sharply.

Slowly you both turned, finding yourselves face to face with Dolores Umbridge in her awful pink robes, grinning wickedly. Draco took a small step in front of you protectively.

“I suppose you two have a reason for being out of bed at this hour?” She tutted, raising an eyebrow. “Miss Y/l/n, I believe I am speaking to you,”

You opened your mouth, and Draco could see that you were struggling to find the right words and not have a panic attack, which gave him an idea.

“It’s my fault Professor,” Draco spoke softly. “I made her come out. She has anxiety you see, and she’s supposed to get a potion from Madam Pomfrey, but she forgot tonight, and though she wanted to ignore it, I told her that it she shouldn’t and made her come with me to get it.”

“I see,” Umbridge narrowed her eyes and pursed her lips. “Well it is still past curfew, and students are not allowed out of the dormitories.”

“We’re prefects ma’am,” Draco smiled wickedly sweet. “We are allowed to patrol the school after hours to make sure no one else breaks curfew, and if you speak to my Head of House, I assure you it is my night to patrol,”

Umbridge tutted and spun on her heel, heading the way she came from. You sagged in relief beside him, rubbing your face.

“Are you alright?” He asked, worried.

A nod from you and his worry lessened. He paused, wanting to hug you, but not sure about the display of affection in public. So instead, he pulled you toward the hospital wing to actually get you a sleeping potion, and perhaps one for himself. You followed wordlessly.

You paused outside of your common room portrait, the small vial in your hands.

“You know I already have these in my room,” You muttered softly.

“I know,” He reached and tilted your chin up, your eyes meeting his.

There were a thousand things that he wanted to say to you but didn’t. There were so many questions to answer and things to figure out and tomorrow to face, and he didn’t know how to right then.

So, he leaned down and softly pressed his lips to your forehead.

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” Your words from the summer were now a promise on his lips.

You smiled and nodded, reaching up to stroke his cheek gently before disappearing behind your common room portrait.

____________________________________

“You’re back early,” Abby commented.

“I was right,” I muttered softly, curling up in my bed. “All this time, I was right,”

“Right about what?’ Abby looked up from her (my) book.

“He did it to protect me. That’s why he stayed away,” The words were a soft relief on my lips.

“You told him! You talked to him! Y/n!” Abby grew very excited, tossing the book aside. “What happened!?”

“Well... I was Pinnae, and he came down to the tree, and well he freaked out when he saw my wand and not me, and then I transformed back, and we kissed, and then yell at each other a bit, and...” I smiled at the memory and shrugged.

“Does this mean I can talk to Pansy again?” Abby asked hopeful.

I laughed and threw a pillow at her.

“You can talk to whoever you want,” I pointed out. “It’s not my fault you’re a chicken,”

Abby’s face became very red as she scoffed, rolling her eyes.

“Wait, hang on, does this mean you two are together again?” Abby exclaimed.

“No? Yes? We were never together to begin with, and honestly, Draco’s right, this is dangerous.” My eyes looked out upon the stars hanging in the sky.

“You’re talking about You-Know-Who,” She realized softly.

I nodded and hugged a pillow. “I’m scared Abby. I don’t want to lose Draco over this. I’ve already lost too much,”

“You’re not going to,” Abby comforted. “Because you’re not alone, and you’re not the only one afraid,”

She looked around the room suspiciously and casted a few Silencing Charms, turning off the light before whispering to me:

“Harry Potter is teaching a Defense Against the Dark Arts class secretly here since that toad Umbridge wouldn’t know a Death Eater if it bit her on the nose,”

“What!?” I exclaimed to her shushing.

“We’re meeting in the Hog’s Head for a brief meeting and to see what’s going on,” She informed me.

“Who’s ‘we’?” I asked.

“Everyone who believes that You-Know-Who is back,”

I nodded and hugged a pillow.

“You want to tell him, don’t you?” Abby chimed in.

“He would know more than anyone what we were up against,” I confessed into the darkness of the night. “I know I haven’t told you because I wasn’t sure how I felt about it, but... his father is working for You-Know-Who.”

“What!?” It was my turn to shush her.

“That’s why they’ve been gone so much, his parents I mean,” I looked over to her. “Please don’t take it the wrong way Abby. Draco isn’t a part of it.”

“But his father is!” She insisted.

I gave her a pleading look and she took a sharp breath in.

“Please Abby,” Tears pricked my eyes. “I can’t be alone. I need you with me,”

She nodded and sighed, smiling at me, rolling her eyes.

“Anything else?” She mused.

“He... he knew something was going to happen, the night Cedric... he didn’t know what. It’s why he asked me to go with him. He wanted to protect me from whatever it was,” I explained, tensing for her backlash.

“He didn’t tell anyone!?” She hissed.

“What was he supposed to say? ‘Hey, my dad’s a Death Eater and he and his buddies are going to do something on the night of the third task, but I don’t know what or where, but hey good luck’?” I gestured, vaguely imitating Draco’s mannerisms.

“Okay, you have a point,”

“It’s bigger than all of us Abby. You heard the Sorting Hat, we have to stick together,”

“I hate it when you’re right,” She muttered, flopping back on her bed. “Of course, I’m with you Y/n. Through thick and thin. Always,”

“Thank you, Abby,” I took a deep breath and smiled at her, before nesting into my covers, the ghost of Draco’s arms holding me pulling me through the night as a filled vial sat on my desk.

Dawn filtered in through the windows and I heard Abby get up, dressing for Quidditch practice. I left her to it and rolled over, going back to sleep. Since I had taken on my Animagus it was hard to fight my nocturnal instincts. Abby came back in some hours later, opening the curtains in an attempt to wake me again as she headed to the showers.

Blinking and squinting at the light, I groaned in defeat, starting my morning routine. Dressed and presentable, my bag over my shoulder and robes in my arms, Abby and I made out way to breakfast then to Double Potions with Snape.

“Hey Feathers,” I heard a familiar voice as I walked down the hall.

Turning I saw Draco’s smiling face as he left his little posse and came up beside me. Abby lingered and walked beside Pansy just behind us. His hand found mine almost timidly as we walked along.

“Are you really gonna call me that?” I feigned dismay.

“To annoy you, probably,” He grinned.

“So, are we doing this?” I gestured to our hands. “Like, really doing this?” He faltered, his face clouding with fear and second thoughts.

“Do you not want to?” Hurt colored his voice.

“No, I do! I do,” I appeased with a smile. “I just... well, I don’t know, you don’t seem like the kinda guy to...” I trialed off and shrugged.

“The way I see it,” He started, gesturing with his free hand. “Is that I’ve gone nearly mad trying to stay away from you,” — “He has! It’s pathetic,” Pansy chimed in from behind us, — “And well, my father can’t exactly get to either of us as long as we’re here, so... if you want to...”

I tried not to laugh as he stammered through his words, looking quite lost. His air of confidence had fled him completely. I might have failed a bit at not laughing because he started to sulk.

“Draco,” I chuckled, catching up to him as he surged ahead of me. “Of course, I want to go out with you,”

“Really?” He stopped short.

I rolled my eyes and nodded, taking his hand again.

“Finally,” Pansy and Abby muttered from behind us.

All week eyes were on Draco and me. Some were glaring and muttering, others—mainly from Hufflepuff—were grinning. It left Draco and I both various shades of red through the days. Trying to find a quiet moment together was another matter. It always seemed as if Umbridge stalked wherever we were, like she had it out for me. And if it wasn’t Umbridge, Draco had Quidditch practice, or class, or we had prefect duty—never on the same night.

“We have got to find a way to sneak you into the Slytherin common room,” He huffed one night, sitting beside me at dinner.

Our friend group now had a weird mix of Slytherin and Hufflepuff: Vincent, Gregory, Pansy, and Blaise from Slytherin; Abby, Ernie, Emme, and Taylor from Hufflepuff. No one really snapped at another. It all seemed to be set aside for the sake of letting Draco and I spend some time together. I had a sneaking suspicion that Abby and Pansy had dealt a bit of threats in the beginning, but now it was almost unnaturally natural.

“Gee,” Abby drawled. “It’s too bad. You should send him owls instead,” Her flat look made me realize that Draco and I were quite stupid.

“Oh,” I giggled. “Yeah. I guess that would work,”

Draco rolled his eyes and shook his head in dismay. I cuddled his arm and went back to eat, the conversation shifting to the Hogsmeade trip coming up in a few days. I threw Abby a look, and she gave me one back.

Tell, she signed, pointing to Draco.

Know, I signed back. Tonight,

“What are you two doing?” Vincent asked Abby and me.

“Y/n and Abby learned sign language while Y/n couldn’t talk so they could still communicate,” Pansy rolled her eyes as if it were obvious.

I raised an eyebrow at Abby, wondering just how much time she had spent with Pansy.

Changed into pajamas, I reminded Abby to leave the window open as I transformed into Pinnae and flew into the cloudless night. I circled the castle a few times, more or less patrolling, before swooping down and landing onto the windowsill of a blond haired Slytherin.

“Hello there, Feathers,” Draco smiled, stroking the feathers on top of my head; I chirped and nipped playfully at his fingertips. “The room is empty and locked. You’re safe.”

I fluttered onto his bed and stretched my wings, transforming back into my human from, blinking away the disorienting feelings of my senses changing. His bed was made properly, something that mine never was. My bed had become more of a nest since my change and I didn’t really change it. I absentmindedly began to rearrange his pillows, nesting.

_______________________________

Smiling to himself, Draco stood, closing the window, leaning against a bedpost, watching you reposition his pillows leaving chaos in your wake.

“So, I’m assuming there’s something you need to tell me? That you and Abby were signing about today?” He mused, not without noticing that your wardrobe was similar to his own: an old t-shirt and house themed sweats.

“Yes, and I need you to not freak out,” Your voice was timid as you held a pillow in your lap.

“When have I ever—” A look from you and he decided to not finish that thought.

“Can you cast Silencing Charms, please?” Your eyes darted around the room.

“Why would I—”

“Draco,” You chided, closing your eyes and taking a deep breath.

It dawned on him that you were trying very hard to keep your anxiety under wraps, so he placed the charms without further protest and sat on the end of his bed, looking to you expectantly. A minute passed before you spoke. Your eyes didn’t leave the green duvet under your fingers.

“Harry Potter is going to teach a Defense Against the Dark Arts class secretly.” You paused, gauging his reaction but he gave nothing away. “There’s a recruitment meeting during the Hogsmeade trip. Abby’s going,”

A beat of silence.

“And you’re going,” He pieced together.

You confirmed with a small nod, still not looking up.

Draco stood and paced away from the bed, deep in thought. His mind recoiled around Harry Potter with a deep-seated hatred and betrayal. It was outrageous that Potter thought he could pull this off. But when he looked to you, the worried look on your face, it spun a new narrative.

Harry had gone against the Dark Lord last year and had a lot of experience—more than the rest—with dealing with dark magic. Though the papers spun ridiculous narratives about Harry and Dumbledore and denied the Dark Lord’s return, Draco knew better. He also knew that Umbridge’s lessons were to pacify the threat of an uprising at Hogwarts.

Then of course, there was you. His sweet, kind Y/n. The notion of you going against any Death Eater had him furious. Voldemort could take the world and he wouldn’t care, as long as you were safe. But he also knew the fire in you to do what was right. Not that it was a Hufflepuff thing. It was a you thing. Factoring in the death of your father and Cedric, he knew exactly why you wanted to do this. And to be honest, it made him feel better that you would train to be able to protect yourself of Merlin forbid, you do go against a Death Eater.

“Okay,” Draco nodded.

“Okay?” You squeaked.

Coming to you and sitting beside you, gathering you into his arms he pressed a kiss to the top of your head. He wasn’t nervous to be around you when you were alone with him. He had spent months overcoming that fear while wishing for you. It brought back the happy memories of the summer and all the days he never had with you to do this. His mother was never very affectionate and his father even less, so when you subtly approved of his attempt at physical affection with your own, a few more fears and hurts were left behind.

“Though I cannot stand Potter,” Draco gritted. “If anyone can teach you, it’s him. And I want you to be able to protect yourself,”

You looked up through your eyelashes at him, not smiling, but pensive again.

“Why do you hate him so much?” The question was soft.

Draco inhaled sharply and your gaze fell.

“Or not, you don’t have to tell me,” It wasn’t guilt striking, but understanding.

“I grew up hearing of Harry Potter, as I’m sure you did,” You nodded, verifying. “And as a kid with...” He scowled, trying to find the right words. “I always thought that he’d be my best friend... and then he chose Weasley and that mud—” You hit his arm. “—Granger,” He amended, his father screaming blood traitor in his head. “Eleven years of waiting for someone to be cast aside,” Draco shook his head. “And now he gets every easy way out.”

“I can’t pretend to know how that feels,” You whispered softly, rubbing his arm, “But... you were sort of a prick back then. Not that I’m defending him!” You clarified quickly. “But...”

“But maybe I wasn’t worthy to be his friend,” He divulged softly. “Or anyone’s friend for that matter,”

“Well, you’re a pretty great friend now,” Your tone was warm as you smiled up at him. “Or at least you’re working on it,”

He rolled his eyes and playfully pushed you into the pillow mound you had made. A laugh escaped your lips as you whacked him with the pillow in your lap. He took the pillow from your hands easily, and you threw your hands up in surrender, giggled bubbling from your lips. Throwing the pillow onto your pile he laughed and tackled you, wrestling you until you were pinned beneath him.

Panting beneath him, you went doe eyed as you wiggled under his grip. Your tongue darted between your lips, taunting him to come and follow. So, he did.

His lips met yours as he leaned down. It was better than his memory served him. Soft, warm, and inviting. Your hands struggled against his, and he released them. Immediately they found their home in his damp hair. It drove him insane as you’d knot your fingers into his hair, pulling him deeper into the kiss.

Desire burned in his chest, knowing that you were his right now, willingly inviting him. Soft sounds left your mouth as his won the victory of dominance. He longed to kiss every inch of your skin, and now, the only thing that could stop him was you. And you weren’t raising a complaint.

His lips trailed your jaw as it did before, his ears drinking in your soft pants, your hands slipping down the collar of his shirt. Draco shed it without a second thought. Your eyes lingered on his form, your hands trailing down his chest, featherlight. It made him shudder.

“Y/n,” He warned softly, taking your hand, pressing kisses to every inch of your skin, trailing down your wrist.

“I know,” You murmured softly.

There was nothing more he wanted than to keep pushing his luck. He wanted to see how far you’d let him go, but a small voice in his head stopped him. He wanted to do this right and he knew that neither of you were ready.

Leaning down and pressing a kiss to your forehead, he moved from his position on top of you to laying beside you. You turned your head and faced him, your hand trailing down his face, jaw, neck, and chest, leaving goosebumps in your wake.

“This is new, huh?” You pondered softly. “I’ve never...”

“Neither have I,” He clarified. “But I will do this right,” he pressed a kiss to your inner wrist.

“Always the gentleman,”

Draco chuckled and pulled the covers over you and himself. You curled up on his chest without a second thought, your fingers tracing random patterns on his skin. His wand within reach, he undid the lock on the door and the charms, pulling two of the three curtains closed on his bed.

“Are you going to stay all night?” He asked softly.

Your eyes were closed, a soft smile on your face. They peeked open, however, at his question.

“Do you want me to stay?”

It took everything in him not to snark at you. You settled back onto his chest, making the decision. You stretched out on his bed—and he was grateful that it was bigger than the hospital wing bed—as you intertwined your legs with him, yawning.

He reached into his bedside table drawer and handed you a recognizable vial. Draco may or may not have spent a few weeks perfecting the Sleeping Potion so that he’d always be able to have it on hand for you. His Anxiety and Thoughts Potions weren’t quite up to par however, so those would have to wait.

Watching you sleep in his arms he felt like he was in a different world. One where Dark Lords and Death Eaters didn’t loom over him. It was a safe haven. He could still scent the shampoo in your hair mixed with the woodsy air that had dried it as you flew over.

Maybe fairytales weren’t so stupid after all.

_________________________________

I grumbled when my pillow started to move. Squinting into the morning, I saw Draco sitting up on the edge of the bed, rubbing his face. It had to be early because dawn was barely peeking through the widows. Wordlessly, I reached out, my fingers barely brushing his warm skin. He jumped and turned. His panic settled when he caught sight of me.

“Morning,” He whispered softly. “Quidditch,” He answered the question written on my face.

I yawned and stretched, sitting up. It should have been a crime, being up this early for any reason on a Saturday.

“You need to get back before you get into trouble, Feathers,” He murmured softly, leaning over to press a kiss to my forehead.

“Don’t call me that,” I grumbled, staggering on my way to standing.

He laughed softly and ensnared me in his arms.

“Stay safe out there,” I murmured softly, my words slurring slightly. “The weather’s changing,”

“Have you ever morphed when you’re tired like this?” Concern was written in his features. “Or flown?”

I shook my head, leaning against him, the bed behind him looking more inviting by the second.

“You’re not going to fly then,” He instructed. “It’s too dangerous,”

“M’fine,” I mumbled.

“Y/n,” He chided. “Come on, I’ll walk you back to your dorm then head to practice.”

“People will talk,” I laid my head on his shoulder knowing that the sleeping potion was not worn off completely as it tried to drag me back under.

“They always talk Y/n. My number one priority is keeping you safe,” He set me on the bed and walked to his armoire.

I laid back on his bed and closed my eyes, yawning. When I opened my eyes again, Draco was dressed in his Quidditch robes—looking rather handsome—his school robe hanging over his shoulder.

“Come on sunshine,” He chuckled, pulling me up. “We need to go before I’m late,”

“You look hot in your Quidditch robes,” I mumbled into his shoulder as I rested against him for support.

I left his laugh shake through his frame and Draco was laughing, shaking his head, still looking quite dashing.

“Merlin, you’re cute when you’re tired,” He draped his school robe around my shoulders as he led me quietly through the Slytherin common room.

“I’ll meet you later and we can head to Hogsmeade,” He promised softly, standing outside of my common room portrait.

I nodded and we parted ways. I stumbled up to my room, in an attempt to catch another hour or two of sleep that came quite easily. I didn’t curl under the covers, instead Draco’s school robes were large enough and comforting enough to draw me back to sleep.

I stood with Abby in line to get cleared by Filch on our way to Hogsmeade. The caretaker eyed my suspiciously and nodded, letting me through. Abby found Draco before I did, well, she found Pansy, that was. And Draco was beside Pansy.

“How was practice?” I asked, shifting my bag from one shoulder to the other. “Alright, how was sleeping?” He teased lightly, taking my hand.

“Yeah how was sleeping?” Abby asked pointedly. “I thought you said you’d only be gone for like an hour,”

“Well...”

“We...”

“I...”

“Um...”

Abby and Pansy both burst out laughing. Draco and I turned red as we made our way to Hogsmeade. I could feel it in the air—maybe it was Pinnae—that the weather was changing. Fall was coming quickly, and the winter held something dangerous. The hair on my arms stood on end, ready for something that couldn’t be seen.

“Be safe,” Draco murmured softly as we paused at the break off in the road that lead towards the Hog Head—the meeting place.

I nodded and sighed softly, pressing up on my ties, leaving a kiss on his cheek before Abby and I headed down the trail together. I thought I caught the same gentle goodbye between Pansy and Abby, but I couldn’t be too sure. Ernie called out to us and we saw a small group of other students heading our way. Though they cast side glances at Draco and Pansy, they said nothing. As a pack we headed to the dodgy bar.

The Hog’s Head bar comprised one small, dingy, and very dirty room that smelled strongly of something that might have been goats. The bay windows were so encrusted with grime that very little daylight could permeate the room, which was lit instead with the stubs of candles sitting on rough wooden tables. The floor seemed at first glance to be earthy, though as I stepped onto it, I realized that there was stone beneath what seemed to be the accumulated filth of centuries.

It made my skin crawl and my senses tell me to run and leave the place as soon as possible. I gritted my teeth and clung to the strap of my bag.

The lot of us—Ron, Hermione, and Harry, Fred and George Weasley, Neville with Dean and Lavender, Parvati and Padma Patil, Cho and one of her friends, sweet Luna Lovegood; then five more clad in Gryffindor colors that I didn’t quite know the names of; Ernie, Justin, Hannah, along with Abby and I; three Ravenclaw’s I didn’t know either; Ginny Weasley, followed by Zachariah of the our Quidditch team, and bringing up the rear—all sat around a dingy table and one of the twins (Fred I think) ordered butterbeers for the lot. I politely declined mine knowing it would only make me more anxious to have caffeine.

I listened to Hermione as she explained the reasoning for starting this group and nodded silently in agreement. Then Zachariah—in his normal stuck up fashion that I loathed—protested against Voldemort being back and an argument broke out. I clenched my fists and Abby’s hand covered mine, in comfort or as a reminder to not lash out.

“—I saw him. But Dumbledore told the whole school what happened last year, and if you didn’t believe him, you don’t believe me, and I’m not wasting an afternoon trying to convince anyone.” Harry snapped.

I flinched when Zach said Cedric’s name in an argument against Harry, gritting my teeth and soon Abby really would have to stop me from lash out against him.

“I believe him,” I snapped at Zach, sneering. “So, get off your high horse Zach or leave,”

Everyone stared at me, most looking impressed. Zach grumbled something that sounded like “Slytherin lover,” but I ignored it and the focus shifted back to Harry, who stammered out a thanks and continued.

“Is it true,” Abby interrupted Harry as he fumbled for words, “that you can produce a Patronus?”

There was a murmur of interest around the group at this.

“Yeah,” said Harry slightly defensively.

“A corporeal Patronus?” Abby pressed.

“Er — you don’t know Madam Bones, do you?” he asked.

Abby smiled. “She’s my auntie,” she said. “I’m Abby Bones. She told me about your hearing. So — is it really true? You make a stag Patronus?”

“Yes,” said Harry.

There were many exchanges of surprise and all around the group was impressed. I knew that Harry would be a good teacher because creating a corporeal Patronus was no easy feat. I remember my mother telling me that one day I would find my own and it would watch over me as my father did.

When I tuned back into the conversation, Fred and George were threatening Zach again. I threw a glare his way and again he backed down. Soon it was discussed on what night and the topic of Quidditch practice circled around—of course when we met would have to coincide with those. Then there was the matter of the actual Defense Against the Dark Arts class and Umbridge.

“We think the reason Umbridge doesn’t want us trained in Defense Against the Dark Arts,” said Hermione, “is that she’s got some . . . some mad idea that Dumbledore could use the students in the school as a kind of private army. She thinks he’d mobilize us against the Ministry.”

The words struck familiar because Draco said something similar the night before about an uprising, it was true in a sense. The lot of us were going to rise against the evils of the wizarding world, whether they were a part of the Ministry or Death Eaters.

The conversation shifted again, and Hermione began to pass around a paper to sign, promising we wouldn’t tell anyone about what was going on. I let myself slip to the back of the crowd as others signed, knowing that I couldn’t. My hands started to shake softly as I was trapped between a rock and a hard place. I knew I couldn’t keep this from Draco.

As people began to leave after signing, Hermione, Ron, Harry, Abby and I were the only ones left. Anxiety gripped my chest as my palms became clammy and my breathing hitched. It was ridiculous to get a panic attack about this, but I knew I couldn’t sign that paper.

Hermione caught my eye and something odd passed between us. Maybe she saw the fear in my eyes or Abby’s glare. Maybe she knew that I was with Draco. Maybe she was judging me because she knew that the reason, I didn’t want to sign was because of him.

“Ron, Harry, go on ahead. I need to talk with Y/n,” Hermione said with no room for argument.

“Make sure she signs, I don’t want her blathering to Malfoy,” Harry glared me down. “I don’t know if I even want her here,”

I clenched my fists and shook slightly, a thousand replies at my lips. None of them were nice, so I held them in my mouth, not to be let loose. Abby was ready to fight but with a seldom shake of my head she stormed out of the bar.

“Go,” Hermione snapped. “And stop being such a git,”

Harry grumbled and sulked out of the bar—an action that was almost reminiscent of something that Draco would do.

“Hermione,” I began.

“I know,” She stopped me. “But you have to understand how vital this is,”

“I know that,” I breathed out. “Please Hermione, you have to trust me, and I know I really shouldn’t ask this, but trust him too?” I pursed my lips trying to find the right argument. “He said if anyone could teach me how to defend myself, Harry could,”

“He said that?” Hermione gasped, whatever argument she had lined up fell. I nodded and pressed on.

“I know he’s not your favorite person. It took us almost two years to get where we are now, and even then...” I shook my head and shrugged. “They deserve a chance too Hermione. And we both know a Slytherin can’t just walk into one of these meetings without...”

“Without being accused of sabotage,” Hermione supplied, and I bobbed my head. “Alright,” She sighed. “You don’t have to sign the paper, but I need to know what you tell Draco. Every word.”

I sagged in relief, rubbing my face. A thanks left my lips as my chest slowly unwound itself from the knot of agitation.

“You think there’s a chance?” Her question was soft and quiet. “For any of them to...”

“I didn’t before, but now... now there just might be,” I replied as we both exited the Hog’s Head.

Draco met me in the same spot where we parted ways, but he had a few bags from around the village in his hands. He gave me a questioning look, and his eyes flitted to Hermione beside me.

“Hermione,” He greeted politely.

A smile touched my lips as I took his hand.

“Draco,” She stammered before hurrying off to where Harry and Ron were waiting.

“How’d it go?” He asked, taking me through the small village.

“Pretty okay,” I smiled. “I’ll tell you about it later,”

He nodded and the topic slipped form conversation completely as he went more in depth to how Quidditch practice went at my request. I stopped into a few shops—Honeyduke’s to restock my sweets stash, taking care into what I purchased, then to Scrivenshaft’s for a few new quills and ink. Now that OWLs were coming up, I took greater care into rewriting my notes and drawing diagrams and I needed finer tipped quills and more No-Run No-Mess ink.

Draco hovered or stood close by all the while. We didn’t speak much of anything other than light conversation. I learned a lot about him in those hours: like I missed his birthday this year even though we were “together” more or less. It was a few days before the third task, and he didn’t think to mention it. I rolled my eyes and vowed that next year we would do something. He pointed out that he also missed mine and he talked to me the day of—February 23rd, the day before the second task.

“Well, then obviously you owe me,” I grinned.

“Don’t you owe me then?” He mused, raising an eyebrow.

“I dunno, you don’t seem to be holding it against me,” I smirked, swinging his hand playfully as we walked along.

“There are a lot of things I’d like to hold you against,” He purred softly in my ear making me flush bright red.

He laughed victoriously and I huffed, taking my hand from his and folding my arms defiantly— all of my shopping bags were in his other hand at his insisting. He caught my waist still laughing.

“You’re really going to pout about that?” He snickered.

Rolling my eyes, I let him off easier than I probably should have and we enjoyed the rest of the afternoon together: meeting Abby and Pansy for lunch then heading back to the castle to spend the clear skied day out in the sun under what seemed to be our tree now.

After dinner I was exhausted and dragging my feet. Draco took notice and ordered me to bed.

“We have to talk about today,” I protested. “Don’t you want to know?”

“I do,” He confirmed and placed his hands on my shoulders. “But I stand by what I said this morning, I don’t want you flying when you’re tired. It’s too dangerous for you.” My face must have given away my annoyance. “Not that I don’t believe in your ability and I love that you did it for me, but there’s no need to get into any unnecessary danger, yes?”

I sighed and nodded.

“Now off to bed with you,” A smile returned to his face. “Go read some of your book and go to bed. I’ll see you tomorrow,”

It touched me how well he knew my nightly routine. It was the small and soft moments that reaffirmed that he could change and care about someone other than himself.

“Goodnight Draco,” I whispered softly.

“Goodnight Feathers,” He grinned softly and pressed a chaste kiss to my lips.

_________________________________

It wasn’t until Monday night that you finally explained what happened at the meeting at the Hog’s Head. You told him of the deal you made with Hermione as well and he agreed. He wanted to gain trust and he knew he had to start small—he learned that from you.

Draco also may or may not have completely flipped out when he heard of Potter’s owl being attacked. He was very close to banning you from flying but refrained. You weren’t exactly his to control, and he already told you that you weren’t allowed to fly when you were tired. He didn’t want to overdo it and lose you. You weren’t one to be reined in and trapped.

He anxiously awaited your return Wednesday night when you told him there was a meeting. He had Quidditch practice that night. He spent the entire time worrying about you and almost got a Bludger to the face a few times. Pansy told him to shape up and focus or she’d ground him. So, he shoved you out of his head and played better.

It was nine thirty before he got an owl from you—not you as an owl. You promised you wouldn’t fly for a few days after seeing his distress.

Dray,

I’m back safely. Stop pacing the common room and go to bed. There wasn’t any trouble. Abby and I studied disarming spells tonight. It was sort of fun despite the looming OWLs coming.

I’m sending a copy of this to Hermione as well, she agreed to help me study and wants updates to what I’ve accomplished.

Goodnight,

Feathers

Draco smiled at how cunning you were disguising the events of your night in a letter. He knew that if it had been intercepted at all, no one could track you down for doing anything against Umbridge’s ridiculous rules.

You had meetings almost once a week, and always when he had Quidditch practice it turned out. Draco knew it was smart to have the D.A. meetings when the Slytherins were at the pitch, but it

wasn’t very good for his skills. He was panicky and not as focused as he should have been. But a comfort to him, you sent a letter every night afterward in the same cryptic remarks that you had done the first time.

“The meetings are stopping for a while,” You informed him, perched on his windowsill—that nearly gave him a heart attack, but you looked well at home—as he walked in after Quidditch practice.

“Oh?” He asked, starting to take off his gear.

You smiled and hopped down, closing the window behind you.

“Angela is going crazy with Quidditch practice... some big match coming up against a certain team...” You feigned ignorance as you sat on his bed, leaning against a post.

“Yeah?” He smirked. “She worried then,” That was a vote of confidence.

“Well I would be,” You purred. “Seeing how incredibly tantalizing the opponents look. It’s quite distracting I must say, having to look at your face and focus.” A grin stretched across your face.

He rolled his eyes at your antics but couldn’t stop the ego boost you had given him, nor the blush that rose in his cheeks as he shed the rest of his robes and heading to the showers, not without pressing a kiss to your lips first.

The week prior to the match, tensions were high between Gryffindor and Slytherin, and Draco unbeknownst to you, gave in a time or two, mocking Weasley when he could. In his defense, the youngest Weasley was an awful player—too anxious to stay on form. Sort of what he imagined if you wanted to play Quidditch. The thought stopped him in his tracks and maybe he wasn’t so patronizing to Ron any longer.

Along with the match, snow settled onto Hogwarts, forcing him to pull out his winter gear earlier than usual. He remembered you mentioned something about the weather off hand on your trip to Hogsmeade. He also almost had a heart attack when he saw you walking down the halls without a sweater or scarf when the rest of the student body was shying away from the cold weather.

“You’re going to give yourself away Feathers,” He hissed, quickly wrapping his scarf around you. “I know you might not be cold because of Pinnae, but Y/n,”

“Sorry,” You rushed out, readjusting his scarf so it hung correctly. “I didn’t think, and I was late this morning...”

Draco sighed and pulled you under his arm and walked you to your next class as you’d been accustomed to. He never did get that scarf back.

The morning of the match he caught sight of you in the Great Hall at breakfast—in a Slytherin robe and scarf. His heart skipped a beat before he recovered. He really needed to remember to get his stuff back from you. He soon decided that it didn’t matter when you lit up upon seeing him and waved. Your friend group was dressed in various shades of green—Abby also had a green and silver scarf on that he knew belonged to Pansy.

“You’re coming then?” He asked.

“I thought I’d try. And I asked Madam Pomfrey for extra Anxiety Potion. I really should just take it every morning but...” You shrugged and he could see the distress in your features still.

“Win or lose, I’m glad you’ll be there,” He pressed a kiss to your temple, wrapping and arm around your waist and pulling you close.

Up in the air, he spotted you in the crowd of students below him. You waved happily and gave him a thumbs up letting him know that you were alright. He nodded and kept his eyes out for the snitch. He watched as Harry bolted down and chased after him.

The Snitch skirted the foot of one of the goal hoops and scooted off toward the other side of the stands; its change of direction suited Draco. Harry must have pulled his Firebolt around, because he and Potter were now neck and neck...

Feet from the ground, Draco lifted his right hand from his broom, stretching toward the Snitch... to his right, Potter’s arm extended too, reaching...

It was over in two breathless, desperate, windswept seconds —Harry’s fingers closed around the tiny, struggling ball—Draco’s fingers scathed the back of Harry’s hand hopelessly—Harry pulled his broom upward, holding the struggling ball in his hand and the Gryffindor spectators screamed their approval.

Draco let out an aggravated scream and surged up to the sky barely noticing that Harry had been pelted with a Bludger. That made him feel slightly better.

Panting and still irritated, you appeared right beside him after pushing through the crowd under the stands.

“Are you okay?” Your voice was soft.

“Ask Potter,” He snapped, regretting it when your eyebrows furrowed slightly. “Sorry,” He mumbled miserably.

The Gryffindor team was hugging and cheering Harry on as the golden boy’s eyes landed on you, something in his eyes that he didn’t quite like.

“What’s that about?” He seethed.

“Nothing,” You answered a bit quickly. “Just Harry being Harry,” It sounded worn on your lips, like you had to keep reminding yourself of it.

“He’s been putting you through hell because of me, hasn’t he?” Draco demanded and you shrunk back, nodding to the ground. “Potter!” He roared, making his way toward Potter.

“Draco!” You ran after him, but he paid you no mind.

Harry could hate him all he wanted. Fine. Whatever. But he crossed the line when he started to take it out on you.

His Quidditch team quickly flanked him, Pansy on his right, as he faced down Potter and his team. Anger surged through his blood as he glowered at green eyes.

“Sore loser Malfoy?” Harry mocked, the Gryffindor laughing around him.

“This isn’t about Quidditch.” Draco spat. “You leave Y/n alone or you have something worse than a Bludger coming to you!”

“She is more than capable to protect herself,” Harry smirked. “But you wouldn’t know anything about that would you?” A few Gryffindors—he suspected the ones in DA—snickered.

Draco growled as Harry used his outcast status against him. Harry knew he wasn’t allowed to the DA meetings and pressed his advantage. What enraged him more was that it was a few hours a week that Harry had alone with you where Draco couldn’t protect you. In that moment, Draco became aware that he never wanted to be friends with someone like Harry.

“Draco,” Your voice was a soft beacon. “Please, it’s not worth it,” The brokenness in your voice shattered him.

Draco looked down and saw that your hand was on his shoulder, gently pulling him back, your eyes not meeting his. Draco’s eyes flashed up and met Pansy’s and Abby’s. There was one thing that Slytherins and Hufflepuffs had in common: loyalty.

“Hey Potter!” Pansy called. “It’s really bold of you to take all your anger out on Y/n because you can’t get ahead of Draco. Pathetic behavior,” Her words were sharp and calculated, and a grin curled across Draco’s face.

“It’s just as pathetic for you to hide behind a little Hufflepuff.” Harry spat. “You don’t fool me for a second Malfoy. You’ll always be just like your father,”

It was like a slap to the face.

“You wanna start talking about fathers, Potter?” Your voice was seething behind him as you emerged from behind him. “You know everyone looks up to you, and everything you’ve done, and maybe I did too, but now...” You shook your head, your face ridden with disgust. “Come on Dray, let’s go.”

And he did. He turned and started to walk away.

Until Harry yanked back the wrong Slytherin robe.

You were on the ground—looking quite shocked, fear and tears in your eyes as you met his.

Harry was dumbfounded.

Draco lunged.

_________________________________

When Harry was hit with a Stunning Spell and fell away from Draco in a fight that I couldn’t stomach to watch, I knelt beside Draco, who held his bleeding nose. Someone tried to come near the two of us, but I growled, a low throated sound I wasn’t aware I was capable of, and whoever it was backed off.

“Are you okay?” I asked, my hands brushing through his hair, allowing me to see more of his face.

“No,” He grunted, sitting up. “It’s fine, I can fix it.”

“You’re going to Pomfrey,” I demanded, leaving no room for argument.

“Just get me to Snape.” He muttered, trying to stand.

I rose before him, helping him up. Every eye was on the two of us, but I paid them no mind. There wasn’t time or energy. His arm slung around my shoulder; we made our way into the castle towards Snape’s office.

“Miss Y/l/n,” Snape pursed his lips looking down his nose. “I am to assume you didn’t do this to him?” Something lingered behind the professors black eyes.

“It was Potter,” Draco muttered darkly.

In that moment I wondered if Snape knew about Draco’s relationship with his father...

“Potter,” Snape sneered, grabbing a vial from his desk drawer. “I’m assuming you’d like one as well Miss Y/n?” Snape asked, looking to me.

“Me?” I asked, frowning.

“Your hand is sliced as well as your arm,” He raised an eyebrow.

A curse slipped through my lips as I looked at my right arm. Sure enough blood was soaking through Draco’s robes and my white button-up.

“These are yours too,” I complained, taking the vial from Snape and downing it, the now noticeable stinging pain from my arm fading.

“That’s what you’re worried about?” Draco chuckled, looking better by the second. A smile touched my lips.

“Thank you, Professor,” I glanced to Snape. “For every time,” My hand rested on Draco’s shoulder.

Something passed between Snape and I, and it was almost odd, the sort of understanding we had.

“Very well,” He muttered. “Now out you two, I have work to do,”

The walk back to our dorms was quiet. Since I was still in Slytherin gear the portrait didn’t comment as I walked through with Draco, nearly clinging to him. Without a word he took me up to his room and locked the door.

He shed his bloody gear quickly and then came to me, taking my—his—robe off and throwing it in with the pile. Pushing my sleeve back he examined my arm where it had been sliced on the rocks. Nothing was left but faded pink scars.

“I’ll kill that Potter,” He vowed.

“I’m fine,” It was a weak lie.

Right now, I was just exhausted. Over the weeks I had taken snide remarks from Harry at DA and brushed them off for the greater good, but after today I didn’t know if I could stomach another meeting, or even being in the same room as Harry.

Pursing his lips and pressing gentle kisses to my scars, Draco handed me one of his green hours sweaters and headed to the showers. I changed quickly, my fingers curling in the oversized

sweater’s soft fabric. Again, I began to nest in his bed and cocooned myself in pillows and blankets.

He came back out, his hair sleeked back and damp, in sweats and a t-shirt. I didn’t lift my head; my eyes merely followed his form as he laid beside me in bed pulling me close. I reveled in his warmth and scent, my fingers mussing his hair like I had so long ago in the summer.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” His question was soft against my skin.

“I can handle a few comments,” I replied defeated. “I’m a Hufflepuff remember? If it’s not one thing it’s another,” I closed my eyes. “Abby, Ernie, and Hermione always stuck up for me,”

“Y/n. I don’t know if—” He started.

“I’m not going to another meeting, don’t worry,” My voice broke as tears finally started to fall.

“All I do is worry about you,” I could hear the smile in his voice as his fingers carded through my hair. “I’m so sorry,” A gentle kiss was pressed to my hairline.

“It was going to happen eventually,” My tone was glum.

Draco sighed and didn’t comment further. Whatever was in the vial that Snape had given us must have been parted with a Sleeping Potion because I found soft comforting slumber within Draco’s arms.

........................

“This is just getting ridiculous,” I heard a faint voice.

“Imagine if Umbridge knew,” Pansy snickered. “Her golden boy breaking about every rule she’s set,”

“Bugger off,” Draco grumbled groggily, his arms tightening around me.

“They are too precious,” Abby sighed. “Sun and moon they are,”

“Such a sap aren’t you Abby?” Pansy teased. “Though no one could tell with you next to Maria von Trapp over here,”

I frowned and squinted into the morning light.

“When did you see the Sound of Music?” I asked Pansy, “And why didn’t you tell me you were watching it?” I looked to Abby.

“You were occupied,” Abby grinned, looking over to Draco.

“What’s the Music Sound?” Draco asked sitting up, running a hair through his disaster of a hairstyle.

“The Sound of Music,” I corrected. “One of my favorite movies,” I accused Abby with my tone.

“Muggle stuff?” Draco mumbled into my shoulder still not completely awake.

“Yes dear,” I smiled and rolled my eyes.

“Like Narnia?” He pressed further.

“Something like that,”

Abby and Pansy both snickered and left Draco’s room. I laid back in bed, pulling Draco onto my chest, petting his hair softly. It was a soft morning filled with lazy kisses and gentle touches. It being Sunday there was no real reason to get up other than food.

The day was spent in desperate hopes to forget the day before. Abby dropped off clothes for me when she came and I silently thanked her, heading to Draco’s bathroom, taking a quick shower and dressing. Snow still covered the grounds, so I slipped Draco’s sweater back over my head as we headed to the Great Hall.

All eyes were on us as we entered. It wasn’t a new occurrence; I was just afraid to meet familiar green eyes. To my comfort, I didn’t. Draco and I ate in peace surrounded by my friends and his. In fact, they formed a makeshift protective bubble around us unknowingly. Any Gryffindor coming near the two of us would get a cold glare from someone in green or yellow. I didn’t like the animosity, but the quietness was nice for once.

November passed like the snow that fell. I didn’t go to another Quidditch match, even though the next one was Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw. Abby understood, muttering something about shoving a broomstick and Harry, but I didn’t ask her to repeat it. I didn’t go to another DA meeting either. I watched the dates change on the charmed Galleon, sighed and slipped it back into my pocket.

“I still want you to be able to protect yourself,” Draco said one night as we studied in the library.

“I’m not going back there,” I snapped stubbornly and sighed. “I can’t... It makes me anxious just thinking about it Dray, and I have midterms and OWLs... and Pinnae has been driving me insane because I haven’t let her out,”

“Okay,” Was all he said with a soft smile. “How about we go let her out now?”

“Now?” It was the middle of a Saturday the afternoon in mid-December.

Draco shrugged. “As riveting as Niffler Knacks is, I think we need a break,” He closed the book and stood.

In the quiet of my room I morphed into Pinnae and fluttered out the window, flying to the tree beside the frozen lake where I promised to meet Draco. Landing on his shoulder with practiced ease, he pet my head softly and watched as I soared into the sky again. Draco was right, I needed this. The brisk wind in my feathers and the beautiful snow-covered mountains nestling the frozen lake... it took my mind off of everything below me.

On the ground below I had burdens to bear and the world looked so small. There were no doubts or fears from up here. Floating on the wind, I glided through the clouds. From up here everything was mine, every mountain and frozen meadow and there was no reason to cry or fear anything. I let out a victorious screech.

Soaring, I dove back towards the earth, banking left hard, circling around Draco and our tree. Abby and Pansy had joined him, holding hands. Abby waved and cheered me on. Pansy looked confused and Draco just beamed at me.

I flapped against the wind, slowing down and coming to a stop, chirping at my friends.

“Hey there Feathers,” Abby beamed. “You wanna tell her?” She gestured to Pansy.

I chirped and fluttered to Draco’s shoulder, nuzzling his face before flying up to a low hanging bare tree branch.

“Tell me what?” Pansy asked. “Whose owl is that? Is it Y/n’s?”

I morphed out of Pinnae and watched shock fill her features.

“Actually,” I grinned, swinging my legs, perched on the tree branch. “It is me,”

“Will you get down from there?” Draco scolded.

“Wait, but—that means... and— wait.” Pansy stuttered.

Abby laughed and so did I dropping easily to the ground with a soft thud, cuddling into Draco’s warmth.

“But—” Pansy looked around. “How? No wait—you didn’t talk for a month! That’s why! Has anyone told you that you’re absolutely brilliant!?” Pansy laughed.

“Draco might have mentioned that,” I grinned, looking up at him.

“What’s it like?” She asked. “Have you picked up owl traits? How often do you fly? Can you understand other owls? Other animals?”

“Pansy,” Draco snapped, I merely laughed.

“It’s amazing, yes, this is the first time in a month, not that I know of for the last two,” I answered with ease.

We all walked back to the castle coupled off and huddling from the cold—well, I was huddling into Draco’s comfort, the cold didn’t bother me anymore.

Christmas was all abuzz in the halls of Hogwarts and not even Umbridge could dampen the student body’s spirits. With a few days left of the term, we could all taste the freedom, the past months events all but forgotten in my mind since the day out with Draco, Pansy, and Abby. I found out that Abby and Pansy had gotten together after the fight in November—something about defending each other against other Gryffindors then kissing each other?

For the first time in my life, I looked forward to the holidays.

Epilogue:

“My mother invited you and your parents over for Christmas Eve,” I told him the last day of term, handing him a sealed letter. “I know it’s a long shot but...” a shrug left my shoulders.

“My mother might accompany me, my father...” Draco trailed off.

I righted his school robe, readjusting his scarf so that it hung correctly.

“Don’t stress about it Draco. Let me know if you need Pinnae.” I looked up at him through my eyelashes and watched his mask melt back off since I mentioned his father.

“I will,” He smiled and pressed a soft kiss to my lips.

Chapter 4

End Note: Please let me know what you think! Your words and reblogs are so important to me always! Don’t be afraid to reblog and comment! I’m nice I swear!

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johnkrrasinski · 4 years ago

Text

i dreamt of you all sumer long;

full masterlist

Pairings: Bucky Barnes x female!reader

Word count: 2,607

Warning: angst with a happy ending :)

Summary: based on the song ‘betty’ by taylor swift except bucky ain’t no cheater.

a/n: i dedicate this one to all my fellow swifties. betty was an instant favourite as soon as i first heard it when folklore came out. it has been begging for me to write a fanfic inspired by it and now it’s finally out and i’m really happy about it. hope you like it. please leave a comment & like :)

He stood on the doorstep of your house, with a bouquet of pink roses in his hands and a hood over his head. A little tipsy and full of sorry. “You can always turn around," the voice in his head whispered just a few minutes ago when he stopped at a streetlight illuminating his path to the street he had passed a million times before.

But now that he was standing in your front porch light of this cozy little house he had grown to know as if it was his second home before the avalanche this summer was, the feeling was finally sinking in.

“Have you seen Bucky?”

“No, I thought he was with you.”

“Well, he was but then Steve asked me to dance and he just… disappeared.”

“Maybe he went to the bathroom?”

“Yeah, I’ll just try to call him again. Thanks, Nat.”

You searched for him in the halls and within the classrooms but there was no sign of him. You knew that Bucky hated the crowds and he always tried to avoid them. But Bucky knew how much this dance meant to you and how long you had been looking forward to this night. You put on your best dress and makeup for him tonight and you wanted to sway to your favourite song with him. He promised that he would try to make this night an incredible one for you. He seemed to have forgotten that promise because he wasn’t even answering your calls or texts to let you know where he was hiding.

You went to the boys’ locker room and what you saw was a bullet right in the centre of your heart. Bucky had his lips on a classmate of yours’ with his back pressed against the locker.

“Bucky…?”

He drew this moment out in his head after weeks of yearning for the way your lips tasted when you used to kiss in his car and downtown bars. And the pattern of your braids that adorned the view of you under the sunset, and the star-shaped traces of his fingers around your scars.

The only thing he wanted to do was make it up to you.

Bucky was a deer caught in headlights when he heard your meek voice calling out his name. He was too stunned by the act she had just caught him off guard with. He was on his way to somewhere less congested to calm himself down because the crowds always evoked the anxiety in him and Steve had asked her to dance when her favourite song was playing from the far side of the gym when he heard the sound of cries from the locker room. He couldn’t help but approach the sound, he really should’ve kept walking instead of interfering. He saw her sitting on the bench in her dress with a tissue in her hand and sobbed.

“Hey, you okay?”

“James… What are you doing here?” She looked up with her swollen eyes.

“I was on my way to the library but I heard someone was crying so I had to check it out.” He scratched the back of his head. “Maybe I should’ve given you some space instead…”

“No, it’s okay. Thank you, James.” She smiled. “Wanna sit?”

“…Yeah, sure.” He doubtfully accepted the offer. “What happened?”

“Kevin broke up with me over the phone while I was on my way to the dance and he came with Cecilia.”

“Jeez, what a dickhead.”

“Yeah, I knew he and Cecil had been fooling around behind my back for months but he always told me that I was being crazy and that I have to trust him more, and I always believed him until tonight he showed me what a jackass he actually is.”

“Hey, he doesn’t deserve you. You should be with someone who loves you and treats you better.” Bucky was never one to give good advice or comfort to his friends but his mama raised him to be a gentleman and to treat a girl like a queen. She always reminded him that if he ever broke a girl’s heart, she would beat his ass.

She smiled, “thanks, James. You’re really sweet.”

He nodded, “well, I should go. Y/N might be looking for me.”

“…Right, you are with Y/N.” For a moment there, she forgot that he and you were the school’s favourite couple.

“Yeah, so, you’ll be okay?”

“Yeah, don’t worry about me.”

He got up and started walking toward the exit when he heard her call his name. “James…”

He turned around to see her on her feet already when she threw herself into him and startled him by pressing her lips onto his and pushed him onto the locker as it rattled with the pressure of his body against it. He was too dumbfounded to get her off of him when he heard your voice, “Bucky…?”

He could hear the music emanating from within the house as another of his classmate passed by, bumping his shoulder to get through the entrance. Another one of your stupid friends, he used to say, and you used to chide at him for that. But now he felt like he was the biggest idiot. "You got this, don't be a fucking coward." He braced himself.

So he showed up uninvited and his eyes scanned every corner of the room, seeking for that one face that haunted his dreams all summer long. Will you have me? will you love me? Will you kiss me? The lingering questions loomed over his head like a heavy cloud. What if you told him to go fuck myself instead? If you kissed me, will it patch you broken wings? He was only seventeen, he didn’t know anything but he knew that he missed you.

You greeted each one of your friends who came to your birthday party. You were grateful for another year and your friends whom you consider your second family. You were the type of person who was friends with everyone even though you only considered Natasha as and Wanda as your best friends, your most trusted confidants, they were the ones who stitched you back together after you caught Bucky cheating… Or at least that’s what you thought.

So you invented the whole school to your party and almost everyone came. The jocks, the popular girls, the nerds, even some of your seniors were there too. Your house was packed with high school kids dancing, drinking and laughing… But there was something missing.

He should’ve been there with you. He should’ve been the one standing right beside you when your schoolmates were singing happy birthday to you. He should’ve been there to kiss you and hold you after the party was over and everyone had gone home. But he wasn’t. Because you thought you knew someone and you thought someone loved you but sometimes you’re just enough for them and they would go looking for excitement in somewhere else.

“Y/N! Wait a minute, would you listen to me?!”

“I’ve heard enough. Most importantly… I’ve seen enough.”

“No, you don’t understand, she kissed me! She was crying and, and, I was trying to comfort her and we talked and the next thing I knew she kissed me!” He frantically explained through his ragged breaths.

“But did you stop her?”

He was silent. What the hell was he supposed to say? He couldn’t stop her because he didn’t have it in him to reject a vulnerable woman? That’s how his mama raised him right? To treat every girl with respect and to take care of a girl especially when she’s emotional. Why is being seventeen so confusing?

“I was… I was trying to but-”

“I’ve heard enough of your bullshit, James.” Oh no, you called his first name. Oh man, he had truly fucked up.

“I- I would never cheat on you, y/n! You really think I could do such a thing to you?”

“Not anymore.” You glared at him with all conviction in your heart and your classmates gathered around to watch the quarrel as your heart was bisecting.

“Well, I guess then this is it.” He didn’t mean it. He wished he had fought a little harder for you. To make you stay and hearken. But he gave up too easily. He has always been a lover than a fighter after all, but how he wished he had turned himself into the other one at that moment.

You chatted with Natasha and Wanda in your living room and you giggled at another witty joke Natasha had just said. Natasha and Wanda always had a way of making you giggle even when your mood was contrasting the expressions on your face. The conversation faded into the background as your mind drifted to Bucky’s face. And that’s when you saw him…

Bucky’s breath hitched when he saw you for the first time after all these weeks. He swore he had prepared every word he was going to say to you and how he was going to act when- if You agreed to talk to him. But it was always easier said than done.

He couldn’t decipher the look on your face when your eyes met. Was it longing? Was it contempt? Was it disbelief? You were always difficult to read. God, he wished he was a mind reader sometimes.

Kids started murmuring things from one another because the entire school loved you and Bucky and everyone started talking when you two ended things and that he was caught ‘cheating.’ And now everyone’s jaws dropped when they thought you and Bucky were truly over and that he was the last person that would be invited to your party.

Bucky stopped in his tracks and if the earth could open up and swallow him so he wouldn’t have to deal with his annoying schoolmates and your fury, that wouldn’t be the worst scenario right now. But he was here and he might’ve had been a fool and a recreant once but he was going to fix it now. He can’t keep running away when things get the slightest bit inconvenient.

So he dragged his feet towards you with the bouquet of flowers still in his hands and once he was close enough to you, he sheepishly spoke, “hi.”

“You’ve got some balls to show up here.” You gritted through your teeth.

He gulped, “I wanted to talk… And to wish you, happy birthday.” He handed you the flowers and also a piece of his heart, hoping that you would take him back.

You accepted it. They were lovely but could a bouquet of flowers really mend the wounds he had inflicted? “What do you want, Bucky?”

“Just a few minutes to explain… everything. After this, if you never wanna see me or talk to me ever again, I’ll leave you alone.”

Was it really what you wanted? Curse your heart for always knowing better. But your stubborn head always had its hands on the wheel, so, forever can spare a minute… right? “Okay, let’s talk in the garden.”

Your garden, the place where you and Bucky used to make out when your parents weren’t home and laid under the broad daylight. Was it wise to lead him here? You shushed the whispers of your heart. Memories came swirling through like a hurricane, banging on your door, begging for you to open up and let him back in.

“Go ahead.”

“Okay, I’m just gonna make this quick but um…” He cleared his throat and scratched the back of his head. Something he always did when he was nervous or didn’t know what to say. He looked down and spoke, “y/n, I am so sorry for what I did to you at the dance. I know I should’ve- God I should’ve stopped her and should’ve stayed with you. I should’ve kept my promise to try harder for you but I didn’t. And I know I’m a fucking idiot but… I’ve missed you. So badly. And I wish I could turn back the time and fixed it but all I can do now is apologize.” Your tears were threatening to fall at the sincerity of his words. You never wanted this. You wished Bucky had known better but to love is to lose your mind and you were at fault for this mess too.

“I understand if you don’t wanna see me around or deal with me again, I came here knowing you’d never take me back because you told me once that cheating was your dealbreaker and what I did was just as shitty but, if this is the last time you’ll ever talk to me, I had to get it out of my chest. That’s all.” He sighed, the gloom in his heart wasn’t withering away but at least the weight in his heard was lighter now that he had come clean. “I’m gonna go now, you should go back to your friends, they are waiting.” He inched his face closer to you to kiss you on the cheek and you were too mesmerized by the blue in his eyes to shun away.

“Goodbye, y/n. And once again, happy birthday.” He turned around to leave, going for the exit door of your garden so he didn’t have to walk past through the crowds and deal with prying questions about their… whatever they are now or what truly happened at the dance. He had made peace with you and that’s all that mattered to him.

He was a few steps away from her when he heard her voice calling his name, “Bucky, wait…”

He stopped and turned to your direction only to catch you narrowing the gap and jumped on him. He was quick to catch her as they used to after a few days of not seeing each other and they both had missed each other terribly. She pressed her lips on top of his and circled her arms around his neck to hold onto him. Because who was she kidding? She had missed him so badly too. She dreamt of him calling her to apologize or to show up at her party but never once did she admit it. And now, her heart was back in her arms and she didn’t want to let him go ever again.

Their kiss with filled of longing as their lips moved like a perfect symphony. One of his hands moved to her face to hold her even closer because everything he desired was coming true and he was desperate to make it stay a reality. Your hands grabbed his hair as your tongues tangled, dancing in sync. You pulled away when the need for air was overwhelming, “I forgive you.” You smiled as your foreheads were pressed together.

He too smiled at that, “does this mean you will take me back?”

You nodded, “it does.” Bucky grinned wider, the bliss in his face was palpable. Oh, how good it felt to see him smile again. Bucky could say the same.

He kissed you once more with his hand cupping your cheek and when he pulled away, he gazed into your beautiful eyes and confessed, “I love you. So much. I never stopped loving you.”

“I love you too.” You meant it with every bit of your heart.

He put you on the ground and you were still intertwined with each other, too in love and too elated to pay attention to the curious peeks and snooping ears. “Let’s go back inside, yeah? It’s cold here. And you should be there with me.”

“There’s nowhere else I’d rather be anyway.”

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes one shot #bucky barnes high school au #bucky barnes au #bucky barnes fic #bucky barnes angst #bucky barnes fluff #sebastian stan fanfic #sebastian stan imagine #sebastian stan one shot #sebastian stan x reader #sebastian stan #betty #taylor swift

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lilydalexf · 4 years ago

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Old School X is a project interviewing X-Files fanfic authors who were posting fic during the original run of the show. New interviews are posted every Tuesday.

Interview with Mary Ruth Keller

Mary Ruth Keller has 42 stories at Gossamer, plus her stories are at AO3. She's written a number of short standalone stories, but she's thought through the X-Files mythology and written about it probably as much as anybody ever has. So if you want to dive into the mythology and all its drama, you need to go read her mythology fics ASAP. (But read this long, interesting interview first!) Big thanks to Mary Ruth for doing this interview.

Does it surprise you that people are still interested in reading your X-Files fanfics and others that were posted during the original run of the show (1993-2002)?

Quite frankly, yes. The Kuxan Sum Cycle branches off the actual series following the Third Season episode Syzygy. I took the myth-arc as it stood at that time, post Nisei-731, and the agents in mid-Rift. Although I didn’t quite realize it when I started out, I was most interested in moving the myth-arc forward in a continuously unfurling narrative, one where Scully and Mulder became an effective investigative team who support each other as partners and friends again. After I started writing in my little corner of the X-F universe in 1996, there was a lot of stuff on the show that just happened, with no real storytelling logic to it I could fathom, but that seemed to be popular. I stopped writing in 2000 because I was frantically busy at my new job (which consumed far too many twelve-plus-hour workdays and weekends) and because my sister and I were trying to take care of my elderly, increasingly frail, Mother. So, I never expected, when I started writing in 2018 and posting again in 2019 (I reposted all my stories, in order, to AO3 and fanfiction.net, because Chermera would never have made sense without them) for readers to take an interest in myth-arc and character issues that the series writers had simply abandoned to go chase, well, anything else, especially if it made no coherent sense whatsoever. What do you think of when you think about your X-Files fandom experience? What did you take away from it?

The fandom was a lot of fun. There were many interesting, engaging discussions I took part in with other fans of the show, some of whom I am still in touch with.

Social media didn't really exist during the show's original run. How were you most involved with the X-Files online (atxc, message board, email mailing list, etc.)?

All of the above. I spent a lot of time discussing writing and characters with other writers on ATXC, except when I was actively working on my novels. Since I was doing basic research into microwave remote sensing of the Earth while working at the Naval Research Laboratory at the time – yes, I was one of those dreaded Department of Defense scientists the show had a love/hate relationship with – my writing happened at night and on weekends. Novels, especially the longer ones, take me about a year from first words on disk until release, which meant I didn’t have all the time to participate on-line as I would have otherwise. But, I enjoyed chatting with the fellow denizens of the Endies Board, and on the EMXC, Scullyfic, and Je Souhaite mailing lists. I’ve saved some of those posts and conversation threads on my older computers, where it’s fun re-reading them from time to time. What did you take away from your experience with X-Files fic or with the fandom in general?

There were a lot of generous, funny, very intelligent fans involved with X-F back then (not that there aren’t now; there are, of course). I started writing because I wanted to get the myth-arc and the characters back on-track, the long-term story moving forward and the agents again being the smart investigators I loved hanging out with on Friday nights. But, outside of having read a lot of myth, literature, fiction, and non-fiction, I didn’t know enough about the mechanics of writing fiction. Several authors were willing to help out, some explicitly through E-mail conversations, and some from general comments about crafting stories that were posted to ATXC. I had a real problem with how I initially handled dialog, which I had some E-mail guidance on, that was very much appreciated. I also had two quite diligent beta readers, one an on-line fan, and one a real-life friend, both male, who helped me with the direction of the Scully-Mulder half of Anath. I was, at the time, utterly exasperated with how the pair of them had become such complete morons on the series, both totally incapable of investigating anything successfully, which was affecting my writing the characters in that story. What was it that got you hooked on the X-Files as a show? Ooh, boy. I’d like to say I started watching with the show with the Pilot, but I didn’t, quite. Tom Shales was the Washington Post TV critic at the time the Pilot aired – yes, not only was I a government scientist, I was living in Alexandria, Virginia, in 1992. He was intrigued by the characters and premise and found Duchovny and Anderson engaging while playing their roles. At the time, I was wrapped up trying to work on a PhD while still employed at NRL, so I tucked the review away, waiting until I had Friday nights free to check it out. I’m a great lover of science fiction, so I thought to give the show a try, eventually. [Lilydale note: I found a couple things Tom Shales wrote about The X-Files premiere in 1993: Fall 1993 TV preview article and a “Pilot” episode review.]

The first episode I sat down to watch was the First Season Darkness Falls, where Mulder and Scully get trapped at the logging camp with the Earth Firster, Doug Spinney, the logging executive, Steve Humphries, the Forest Ranger, Larry Moore, and the gooey green bugs. I was amazed by that story. It was as perfect a little piece of science fiction as I have seen on TV (except for one bit toward the end), with an environmental moral to it as well, where all the characters make good and bad choices, and they all suffer or succeed because of them.

What hooked me, really hooked me, were the first/second acts, specifically, Dana Scully’s actions, once they find the desiccated logger in the tree. The investigation is handled logically, in that it’s not the big male agent who goes shinnying up the trunk to look at the evidence while everyone else stands around watching and wailing, “Whatever shall we do!” No, it’s little Dana Scully who takes the ride to the upper branches. This made oodles of sense, in that she was this tiny woman whom two men could lever up that far with a rope, a hand winch, and pulleys. When she gets there, after grimacing (who wouldn’t, considering what she saw), she starts investigating. She does an on-the-spot post-mortem exam, while Mulder makes an ooky male-body-parts joke, but everyone takes her results seriously. I was thrilled. Here was a female character I could really relate to, someone who could hold her own in a difficult situation, unlike most of those on the tube, then or now.

I made a point, over the following summer, of watching as many re-runs as I could, catching up on the episodes and characters. The stories ran to science fiction and horror, which are my preference. Further, although there was an emphasis on the paranormal, several of the first season episodes were written so both Mulder’s wanting-to-believe-but-needing-proof intuitive, emotional approach and Scully’s logical, scientific, justice-oriented viewpoint each got the narrative coherently from initial crime to identifying and apprehending a suspect. It was some spectacular, complex writing, and I was hooked, hopelessly hooked. I discuss this some on my old author web-page, which still exists, courtesy of the Wayback machine), so I won’t belabor it. What got you involved with X-Files fan-fic? The shenanigans within the Third Season, quite honestly. The myth-arc wasn’t moving forward, as it had during the Second Season, which I really couldn’t understand. Carter had given us this bang-up start in the ABC Trilogy with all these new fictional possibilities to explore, but instead, bupkis. The MOTW’s were retreads with no depth or moral/ethical weight to them, except for Darin’s stories. The intelligent agents I had enjoyed spending time with while they pursued their oddball investigations were evaporating before my eyes. Mulder had always been this deeply intuitive character who cared about others and knew he could get it wrong, so needed Scully’s logic in their investigations, even if he didn’t always want to hear her observations and questions. But that character was being replaced by a cookie-cutter misunderstood anti-hero, who wasn’t thinking, just running off to chase butterflies, who was always right because he was The Guy. Scully, as an investigator, the little agent who could, was simply being sidelined. Sure, she’d argue with Mulder, but the writers had stopped giving her and her logical viewpoint a real role in their cases, Darin excepted, again. As the series went on, the Agent and Doctor Dana Scully I respected was replaced with this snappish little female whose only notable skill was running in high heels, who spent her time standing around with her arms crossed, and made pruney faces at Mulder if she were required to do any actual investigating. I hated that character, but, apparently, the all-male writing staff just loved her.

I knew about the on-line fandom, so I thought to check out if anybody else had noticed these “improvements.” First, I spent time at ATXF, discussing the changes with the series, that disturbed a lot of folks, not just me. Eventually, I tripped onto ATXC. There were writers there who understood the two characters, quite well, but weren’t that interested in the other problems with the show that bothered me deeply.

Like many fan-fiction writers, I decided to try to bring in, or in my case, bring back, what I was missing in what was being aired. Sins of the Fathers was the result. As I mentioned above, it was a far from perfect story, but I learned much putting it together, and it got a lot of positive feedback. So I kept writing and trying to improve what I wrote. Folks appreciated it, then and now, surprisingly, which was endless encouragement to keep going. What is your relationship like now to X-Files fandom? With work and my Mom, as I mentioned above, I dropped out for a few years. My new job is still microwave remote sensing of the Earth, at a University-affiliated laboratory, not working directly for the government, but the NASA/NSF-type funding for the research I like to do is much harder to come by, so it takes up a lot more of my time to keep funded and working. Adding to that, I haven’t found places like ATXC in the 90’s or the Endies Board, but I suppose lightning only strikes once. Were you involved with any fandoms after the X-Files? If so, what was it like compared to X-Files?

Not really, no. I’ve enjoyed other TV series, but, I never felt those shows were just throwing away essential parts of themselves as X-F did, or, if they went bad, I simply stopped watching them. A fandom is, or can be, a huge time commitment, which, as I’ve noted, I don’t have that much of. I discuss this quite extensively in my author’s notes at the end of Chermera, so I won’t repeat myself. [Lilydale note: the long author notes are at the end of the story’s last chapter, not in the AO3 notes section.] Who are some of your favorite fictional characters? Why?

As a child, I loved reading myths and legends from many different cultures. So many amazing stories, so much that touches on truth. Greek myth, Norse legends, Islamic tales, Celtic fables, all of them. It goes without saying that discovering Tolkien’s fully-realized Middle Earth in my early teens was like falling into an river of endless delights.

In literature, perhaps the character I enjoy most is Sherlock Holmes. On television/in movies, I’d have to say: Beverly Crusher, (early) Dana Scully, Susan Ivanova of Babylon 5, Pa’u Zotoh Zhaan and (early) Aeryn Sun on Farscape, Samantha Carter on Stargate SG-1, Hermione Granger, and most recently, Lagertha on Vikings. Dunno, there might be a pattern there. Possibly. Do you ever still watch The X-Files or think about Mulder and Scully?

Yes, absolutely. I started rewatching the series when it ran on BBC America, enjoying the first two seasons again. I’d actually never stopped thinking about Mulder and Scully; I just lost the time to write about them, until two years ago, when I managed to land some long-term funding so I wasn’t staying up nights writing proposals every few months. I’d have a thought about how to advance the story that became Chermera, so I’d make a mental note and play with it in my head. I also have two more novels and a satyr play left to go in the sequence of stories I want to write, so I’m turning over plot-lines and potential arcs in my head all the time. Do you ever still read X-Files fic? Fic in another fandom? I do read X-F fan-fic. Since the series has wandered so far away from what engaged me, and most fan-fic keeps up with that, I don’t read very much. As far as other fandoms, one was enough. Do you have any favorite X-Files fan-fic stories or authors?

Reaching back into the dark ages, I’d say Pellinor and Nascent. They may both be available on Gossamer. [Lilydale note: Fortunately, they are!] What is your favorite of your own fics, X-Files and/or otherwise? Zurvan is the favorite of my older stories. It, like Twelfth Night (Denha on AO3 to avoid confusion with another X-F story named Twelfth Night), builds on the past stories in their trilogies and brings the overall arc to new places. It’s fun to uncover surprises when writing and develop challenges to address in the future, which both of those stories did. Do you think you'll ever write another X-Files story? Or dust off and post an oldie that for whatever reason never made it online?

I’d certainly like to. I had planned to write three trilogies with their satyr plays, each of them focusing on an aspect of the mythical Triple Goddess: Maiden, Matron, and Crone, in the X-F universe. Only, being me, I turned it around. Sandra Ann Miller (Samantha) is the Maiden, but I’ve just started telling that part of the arc with the transitional Anath and the first trilogy story Chermera. I’m approaching this trilogy as a coherent tale spread across the three novels, which is different from the other two. The Caroline Lowenberg Trilogy didn’t really get organized until Twelfth Night. It was only the third story I’d ever written, so perhaps I can be excused. The Dana Scully Trilogy was all interconnected, but that was more of an organic, rather than a pre-planned and deliberate, effort. I didn’t really grasp the full arc of what I was creating there until I was writing Chermera and looked back over the threads running from Rustic Suite through Anath. The next story in the Sandra Ann Miller Trilogy involves the exposure of the Japanese arm of the Consortium, but, I need to read up on Japanese history, myths and legends, and world view before I write it. After finishing and posting Chermera, that’s what I’ve been doing. The conflict between Amaterasu, the Sun goddess, and her ne’er-do-well brother Susanoo-no-Mikoto, the god of, among other things, storms, marriage, and love, as told in the Kojiki and the Nihongi (both written down in their near-final forms at the same time as we in the West were just recording the first skeletal versions of the Arthurian Legends), will definitely get worked into the Sandra Ann Miller Trilogy. I’m starting to put the arcs and plot-lines together, but, I’m not ready to begin writing yet. Do you still write fic now? Or other creative work? As I’ve discussed, I do. Part of why I take my time is because Mulder and Scully are owed real, challenging cases to solve - the two intelligent agents with their own approaches, strengths, and weaknesses, remember. Partly, because I have original fiction ideas I’d like to pursue. Trying to do the best I possibly can in the sheltered world of X-F where I attempt to create stories with universal themes, well-realized settings, coherent plot-lines, and original characters who resonate with my readers is practice for the original fiction. I’ll never write the Great American Novel (whatever that is), but I’d like to write stories that are as good as I can make them and fun for my readers, so I keep plugging. Where do you get ideas for stories? Reading and thinking, mostly. I try to look for ideas that haven’t been done to death, or different approaches to old themes. I have four original novels I scribble mental notes on. After I bring this myth-arc I’ve been working on to its (to me) logical resolution, I hope I’ll be able enough of a writer to get started on them. What's the story behind your pen name? Actually, it’s my real name. At the time I started writing, I didn’t think to do anything else. On ATXC and Gossamer, I wrote several of the shorts that are separate from the Kuxan Sum Cycle under the pen name Lise Meitner. She was a Twentieth Century theoretical physicist who explained nuclear fission, then was cut out of a Nobel prize because the judges of her day thought Marie Curie and Irene Joliot-Curie were “enough” women physicists working in radioactivity to be so honored. [Lilydale note: here’s her Wikipedia page. Among many other fascinating things talked about there, she was nominated for the Nobel Prize 48 times in two different categories and had the 109th chemical element, meitnerium, named after her. She also escaped Nazi Germany in a plot involving trains, boats, planes, and an emergency diamond ring. You really ought to read about her.] Do your friends and family know about your fic and, if so, what have been their reactions?

I’d shared the first five of my novels with my family back in 1996. They liked them, my sister especially. I’m not sure they knew what to make of them. I haven’t shown them to my in-laws, but, I think my sister-in-law found them on her own. We haven’t discussed them, as they aren’t her usual preference, which is Romance. One distant blood relation was thrilled to discover them on-line and wrote me about them. My sister, though, is my (self-admitted) biggest fan. When we were kids, she and I shared a bedroom, where I’d make up stories to tell her at night so she could fall asleep. She and I correspond regularly by E-mail (she’s in Florida and I’m in Maryland). Back while I was working my way through Chermera, she asked out of the blue if I was ever going to write any more. She was thrilled to hear I had been but she doesn’t have regular Internet access other than at her job. I made printed, bound copies of all my stories to mail to her last Christmas. She loves them, bless her. Is there a place online (tumblr, twitter, AO3, etc.) where people can find you and/or your stories now?

I’ve sent Chermera to Gossamer, but, it hasn’t been updated since July 2018. All the rest of the stories are there.

At AO3, my stories are under: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mrkeller. The Kuxan Sum Cycle is linked together at: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1555492.

I’ve published the Lise Meitner stories under my own name there: Faustus Mulder; Late Night Thoughts on Evolution, Hard Times, and Lost Pets; You Just Don’t Understand; and Lux Perpetua. Since I could separate out the trilogies into their own cycle, it just made sense.

At fan-fiction.net, they’re under: https://www.fanfiction.net/~maryruthkeller

Again, the Lise Meitner stories are under my own name. Since fanfiction.net doesn’t have a linked series option like AO3, I’ve added a header to all eleven of the stories in the Kuxan Sum Cycle so far explaining the order. The novels all are tagged with thumbnail versions of the covers I made for them. Also, the literary quotes I started each chapter and begin and end each story with, are kept in the AO3 versions, but are removed at fanfiction.net to avoid potential copyright issues. Shakespeare, Christine de Pisan, the Popol Vuh, the Ugaritic myths around Anath, and others are all long out of, or never were in, copyright, of course, but, just to be on the safe side, I’m following fanfiction.net’s rules.

If folks care to write, I’m still at my old eclipse address: [email protected]. Is there anything else you'd like to share with fans of X-Files fic?

Enjoy it, use it as an opportunity to make connections and expand your horizons as a storyteller. Fan-fiction was much more of a home-grown effort back in the 90’s than it is now, when there are how-to books, of all things. But, don’t get so wrapped up one forgets about real life. That’s where all the best stories are.

(Posted by Lilydale on October 27, 2020)

#new post #old school x #xfiles fanfic #xf fanfic #xf fanfic author interviews #mary ruth keller

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soup-fish · 3 years ago

Note

Hiya I meant to send you asks like forever ago but I'm bad so I didn't do that so here they are now they're from this ask prompt thing you reblogged

Feel free to answer these about any of your OCs cause I don't really remember any except rabbit and Knight so~

1, 10, 25, 29, 33, 37, 46, 50, 61, 63, 78, 80, sorry there's so many you don't have to answer them all, I am just cursed with insatiable curiosity only balanced out by my fear of asking too many questions and being annoying—

Hi!!! You’re not bad!! You’re one of the coolest aliens ever!!!!

I am absolutely answering them all with multiple OCs because I will take every opportunity I get to talk about them.

Putting it under a cut because it is LONG and I don't wanna bother.

1. What is their gender?

The Knight: (she/her)

Rabbit: agender but they use (they/them) pronouns

The Apprentice: (he/him)

Dijon: (he/him)

Julienne: (she/her) (they/them)

Monty: (he/him) (they/them)

Diana: (she/her)

Captain Pumpernickel: (he/him)

William: (he/him)

10. What are some of their talents/skills?

The Knight: Swordfighting, Dancing, pottery

Rabbit: Parlor magic, puppetry, Acting

The Apprentice: collecting, Dunescotch [the world's rough equivalent of chess], chemistry

Dijon: cooking, writing, gardening

Julienne: biking, photography, bird watching

Monty: people watching, bingo, garage sales

Diana: fencing, archery, calligraphy

Captain Pumpernickel: Singing, acting, swordfighting

William: whittling, philosophy, accordion

25. What is their biggest flaw?

The Knight: her naivete

Rabbit: Their reluctance to be vulnerable

The Apprentice: His aversion to change and the unknown

Dijon: his self-pitying nature

Julienne: Her self-centeredness

Monty: his...not quite human-ness

Diana: She’s uptight

Captain Pumpernickel: hooboy where do I start? For one, his complete and utter dismissal of everything that doesn’t contribut to ADVENTURE

William: his lack of ambition

29. How would they describe their own personality?

The Knight: “Hmmm. I try to be as nice as possible and I’ve been told I’m rhapsodic! I don’t think my singing’s that good but it’s a sweet compliment!”

Rabbit: “Witty. Yes. Sarcastic? Yes. The people’s demon? In more ways than one~ Even hell can’t handle me.”

The Apprentice: “Simple, studious, and an enjoyer of quiet studying. I tend to be rather straight-forward in my methodology.”

Dijon: “God do I even have a personality? What am I besides a vaguely human shaped pile of mistakes and disappointments?”

Julienne: “A fun loving fun person!”

Monty: “Just your average Earth person! Nothing else to see!”

Diana: “Calm, cool, collected, the perfect dignitary”

Captain Pumpernickel: “AN ADVENTURER! And a lover! Of your mother! Bring out the good ale my good fellows! Your captain has won another battle of the wits!”

William: “Personality? Never heard of it. Wouldn’t even begin to know what the word means. I know no such words such as sarcastic, laid-back, carefree. Nooooo.”

33. What is their biggest fear? How would they react to having to face it?

The Knight: Being ignored and unheard. She’d probably get really frustrated and maybe cry a little as a result. If it really got to her, she’d need help being pulled out of a dark place.

Rabbit: Abandonment. Their general reaction to it is to put on a veneer of not caring and close off from the outside world more, even going so far as to act annoying and unlikable so that people leave before getting close.

The Apprentice: Not knowing. Or, by extension, not being able to learn. He’d probably lash out in anger and storm off.

Dijon: Being an unredeemable person. He faces it every day and he deals with it by being melodramatic in all of his writings and wallowing in misery. AKA, not dealing with it.

Julienne: People being genuine. They’d probably get really uncomfortable and try to excuse themselves from the conversation or make jokes to redirect the conversation.

Monty: The republic finding him hiding out on Earth. He’d fight or do anything possible out of desperation.

Diana: Being a disappointment

Captain Pumpernickel: Not being able to bang your mom not having adventures with his crew. He'd probably be reduced to a shell of his former self.

William: Not being able to talk his way out of a situation.

37. How easy is it for them to say “I love you”? Do they say it without meaning it?

The Knight: Pretty easy but she means it when she says it. She's just full of love tbh.

Rabbit: It's really hard for them to say "I love you". Really really hard. Especially at the start of their arc, they would never say it, however much they mean it.

The Apprentice: It's hard for him to say, simply because it's not quantifiable enough. How does one properly explain how much they love someone? He prefers showing love through actions and more direct compliments.

Dijon: It's not easy for him to say, but he says it without meaning it, both knowingly and unknowingly.

Julienne: She doesn't say it often, but she says it to the people she cares about occasionally. She prefers to say it through time spent and physical touch though.

Monty: The Dude Loves Everything. But they also barely understand the meaning of the word so...

Diana: She doesn't say it almost at all, but prefers to use acts of service and gift giving.

Captain Pumpernickel: He never says "I love you" because he usually doesn't really mean it. He'll use some other compliment or compound of it.

William: He doesn't throw it around easily, so when he says it, it has so much more weight behind it.

46. How easily can they express emotions? How easily can they hide emotions?

The Knight: She expresses her emotions a lot and very easily, but she has a hard time hiding them.

Rabbit: They think they're sly at hiding their emotions, but they let micro-expressions slip constantly. If anyone decided to notice, one would

The Apprentice: He's a blank sheet baybee. What is he thinking? Unless it's frustration or anger, you'll never know.

Dijon: He's just kinda sad all the time. He's miserable and everyone notices.

Julienne: She allows some emotions to come through. It's a bit of a calculated effort.

Monty: All of his emotions come through all the time and he doesn't mind.

Diana: Well, she hides her sadness and happiness, but allows her frustration and such to shine through.

Captain Pumpernickel: He expresses emotions very openly and very loudly. He is a dramatic ham of a captain.

William: He keeps a near perpetual smile that occasionally wavers when things go wrong. He doesn't like to open up emotionally.

50. How would you describe their style of clothing? How would they describe their style of clothing?

The Knight: "fun and comfy!" Light armor with room for mobility but colorful

Rabbit: "...sexy" literally naked except a cloak.

The Apprentice: "practical and sensible" like a fucking nerd

Dijon: "presentable" the best time to wear a sweater, is all the time

Julienne: "quirky" quirky.

Monty: "human clothing for humans! :D" weird mixture of 1800s stuff and modern day stuff. Weird guy.

Diana: "regular??? Clothes???" Fancy ballgown at first then swashbuckling but still expensive.

Captain Pumpernickel: "EXTRAVAGANT AND ASTOUNDING" sexy hobo pirate.

William: "only the highest tier clothing/s" ...rags. doesn't care enough.

61. Which season is their favorite season?

The Knight: Spring

Rabbit: Autumn, harvest festivals and such are good for demons.

The Apprentice: Winter, you have excuses to stay inside and work. Plus the vibe is nice when it's harsh outside and cozy inside

Dijon: Summer, fewer holidays and he's not really cold resistant.

Julienne: Summer. They like the general vibe and popsicles and shorts and sunglasses and such.

Monty: Winter, they love the holidays.

Diana: Summer, she likes the heat.

Captain Pumpernickel: Autumn! He just thinks the weather and vibe are RIPE FOR ADVENTURE!

William: Winter! He like staying inside and the cold.

63. What is always guaranteed to make them smile?

The Knight: her partner! Or a silly joke! Or a delicious snack! Or friendship!

Rabbit: schadenfreude

The Apprentice: order and productivity

Dijon: his favorite childhood book

Julienne: her pet rats! Or pet frog!

Monty: A human thing like paperclips

Diana: this one is a hard one. Succeeding at any of her hobbies.

Captain Pumpernickel: ADVENTURE. and friends

William: seeing Diana smile and be free.

78. Who do they consider to be their best friend?

The Knight: The prince!

Rabbit: the Knight

The Apprentice: books

Dijon: julienne

Julienne: no one. Monty is close.

Monty: ALL HUMANS ARE BEST! AND FRIENDS!!

Diana: no one [William eventually]

Captain Pumpernickel: The sea. And his first mate. And his quartermaster.

William: no one [Diana eventually]

80. Are they a morning person or a night owl?

The Knight: Morning person

Rabbit: Night Owl

The Apprentice: Morning Person

Dijon: Night Owl

Julienne: Morning Person

Monty: Morning Person

Diana: Morning Person

Captain Pumpernickel: Morning Person

William: Night Owl

#arc-gx #17th #February #2021 #February 17th 2021 #THIS TOOK FOREVER #IM SO SORRY #FINALLY GOT THROUGH THEM ALL #THIS WAS FUN #THANK YOU #dante babbles

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snakeboistan · 4 years ago

Text

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SHIOTA NAGISA

Thank you, Nagisa, for showing me that being kind and gentle doesn’t mean that you’re weak and also that the parts about you that you hate can be turned into your greatest weapon. You have been a role model for me for the past four years and I strive to be as wise and caring as you. Keep doing what you’re doing, you adorable little assassin, we’re all so very proud of you. 😍😊

Yes, I know that Nagisa’s birthday is during Summer break but shhhhh

(25 unread messages)

Akabane Karma: Hey there Nagi :) HAPPY BIRTHDAY BLUEBERRY! I can’t believe you are officially older than me. But don’t get your hopes up, just because you’re my elder, doesn’t mean that I will start listening to you. Just to show you how awesome I am, I decided to stay up late so that I can text you exactly at 00:00. But for real, I hope you have an awesome day and I promise to beat up anyone that ruins it for you ;) Nagisa, you are honestly the most amazing person I’ve ever met and you’re seriously like such a sweet and kind and honest and good person and I have no idea how someone as nice and forgiving as you ended up befriending someone as crazy and violent as me. You’re the only person who's never been scared of me and even though you hate violence you still stood by me and never tried to change me and you liked me for me. No one’s ever liked me without expecting me to change and I’ve never felt as comfortable being myself with someone as I have with you. Can’t wait to see you at school today - I got you a present. No I won’t tell you what it is and yes, you’ll definitely love it. See you soon.

Sugino Tomohito: Happy Birthday Nagisa! Hope that you have fun today! I just want to tell you that you are the best best friend that I could ever ask for and I am truly grateful for everything that you have done for me. When I first got kicked down to 3-E and was forced to leave the baseball club, I thought that it was all over but you came along and was the first person to actually sit down and listen to me and you offered to practice baseball with me and honestly, that really made my day. Dude, you are like this amazing blue ball of kindness and like seriously you are brilliant but you don’t nearly give yourself enough credit. I don’t know where you get your low self esteem from or what it is that makes you think that you are worth so little but I promise to remind you that you are cared for every single day until your next birthday and for the rest of your life. Okay, that probably sounded super weird but it’s early and my brain is like 60% baseball memes at this point. At first I hated losing my baseball friends and getting sent to this abandoned building on top of a death mountain but meeting you has made me realise that our crazy assassination classroom™ is the best thing that’s ever happened to me. From the day I’ve met you, you’ve been nothing but loyal and caring. You are the person I can talk and rant to and you’ll never judge me and you always know how to make you smile. And honestly, you are worth 1000 baseball teams. Don’t let your mother get you down. See you in class! Oh, BTW, my little brother says Hi.

Kayano Kaede: HIIIIII NAGISA! HOPE YOU HAVE A HAPPY BIRTHDAY FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART! I got you a gift and I hope you like it and no it’s not pudding but you will be getting some cake from that cafe we visited over the weekend. It’s not easy being the new girl and ever since I’ve joined the class, you’ve been nothing but an awesome best friend and you have always been by my side since the day we decided to have matching hairstyles (which might I say looks so much better on you than it does on me - UNFAIR!) I hope the rest of the year is filled with pudding and happiness and sweets and smiles and everything else you love

Nakamura Rio: Happy birthday to our resident blueberry cinnamon roll! Have a wonderful day ‘Gisa. I’m sure you will when you see what I have in store for you ;). You are seriously the most mature, innocent, pure little bean I have ever met - and definitely the most fun person to play pranks on! Dont worry, as the birthday boy, you shall spend 24 hours completely prank free. Yes, yes I know, I’m the best classmate ever. Dont need to tell me something I already know, sweetie. See you later, my fellow English lover!

Maehara Hiroto: Yo, dude, Happy Birthday! Hope you have fun and enjoy what we’ve got in store for you (no hints!). Like seriously you are legit the most awesome person ever cause you’re so sweet and innocent and can turn into this super awesome secret badass whenever you want to. Youre like the class therapist/medic/person we can always rely on and you never complain when we drive you crazy (cause I know that we do). I’m super proud of you man. Never change Nagisa. See you at school. (BTW - We still up for karaoke next week?)

Isogai Yuuma: Happy birthday Nagisa! Hope you have a wonderful day! I can’t wait to see you in class later. When my siblings found out that it was your birthday, they insisted that they make you a card.You are an irreplaceable member of our class and I’m so happy that you are part of it. Seriously, if it wasn’t for you and your ability to calm people down and talk people out of doing whatever crazy idea they came up with, I’m pretty sure I would’ve lost my mind. You’re always smiling and always participate in class without complaining and you always see the best in everyone. Keep on doing what you do Nagisa, the world could use more people like you. ( Oh and come to the cafe later, I got an iced bun on the house for you)

Fuwa Yuzuki: AAAAAHHHHH HAPPY BIRTHDAY NAGISA! CONGRATULATIONS ON SUCCESSFULLY SURVIVING THIS LONG ON EARTH! OOHH IM SUPER EXCITED FOR YOU TO SEE WHAT I’VE GOT YOU! Thank you for always going along with and listening to my crazy anime/manga rants even when you have no idea whats going on. It’s so much fun hanging out with you cause youre chill and youre always up for anything and apart from Takabayshi you’re the person in the class that get my references the most. Youre an amazing main protagonist and you deserve all of the screentime and lines you get - heck even your own spin-off show. For someone who loves heroes so much, youre doing an amazing job of being one yourself. Youre the best Watson a Sherlock like me could ever ask for and a really good friend for this manga obsessed Otaku! Love you and see you later!

Kataoka Megu: Happy Birthday Nagisa. I hope that you enjoy the rest of the day. As someone whose job is to watch over our … interesting class, having you around makes everyone else bearable. I’m sure that if you aren’t here to keep the peace I would’ve murdered Okajima months ago. You have always been really respectful and kind and I appreciate having someone as hard-working and loyal as you in my class. I always enjoy having our talks about equal rights and you have always been like a little brother to me (honestly, I prefer you over my actual older brother). See you later and please continue to stay the way you are.

Okano Hinata: Hey there Nagisa. Happy Birthday! How’s it going, little dude! Hope you enjoy yourself and have lots of fun today. Thank you for being one of the only boys that I can actually stand. You are such an amazing person to have in the class and you’re amazing at being someone that we can all come to when we’re upset. Plus you let us brush your amazing godly hair (seriously I’m jealous at how nice it is). If any main campus kids try to ruin this special day - come to me and I’ll sort them right out :)

Kurahashi Hinano: HAPPY BIRTHDAY NAGISA! I HOPE YOU HAVE LOTS AND LOTS AND LOTS OF FUN TODAY AND EVERY SINGLE DAY OF YOUR LIFE! CAN’T WAIT TO SEE YOU SO THAT I CAN GIVE YOU YOUR PRESENT IN PERSON AND THE BIGGEST BIRTHDAY HUG EVER! YOU ARE AN AMAZING PERSON AND I (AND EVERYONE ELSE) LOVE YOU SOO MUCH OKAY I HAVE TO GO NOW BUT BYEEEE

Kimura Masayoshi: Hey Nagisa! Happy Birthday! Can’t wait to see you at school!

Mimura Kouki: Happy Birthday Nagisa :) wish you the best :)

Yada Touka: Happy Birthday Nagisa! I hope you have a fun-filled day! You are a really sweet and nice person and I enjoy hanging around with you - especially when you join us girls on our girl trips to the mall. You’re like a little brother to me and I always feel comfortable when I’m with you. Love you and hope you have a nice day <3

Takabayashi Koutarou: Happy Birthday Nagisa. I hope that you enjoy yourself.

Hayami Rinka: Happy Birthday Nagisa

Okajima Taiga: Happy Birthday Nagisa. You are such an incredible person to have in the class. And thank you for always saving me from the girls when they get mad at me. Hope you have fun. I was going to give you some really cool magazines but when the girls figured it out they slapped me and said that they’d tie me up in the middle of the mountain and leave me there if I did so I’m just gonna give you something else that I made (with Sugaya’s help). I’ll show you it at school - I hope you like it.

Kanzaki Yukiko: Happy Birthday Nagisa. I hope you have a nice day and thank you for being such a good and reliable friend. See you at school.

Yoshida Taisei: Happy Birthday Nagisa! I’m so sorry for the grenade incident earlier and I am so happy Koro-Sensei saved you. Also like you are one tough guy, you know that right? Cause what happened with Takaoka, man you couldve beaten any of us up with your eyes closed any time. Stay awesome dude. See you at the mountain

Hara Sumire: Happy Birthday Nagisa. I’ve made some sushi just for you. I hope you like it. As your official unofficial mother, I hope you have fun today and I can’t wait to see you later.

Sugaya Sosuke: Happy Birthday Nagisa. Thank you for being around and seeing the good in all of us even when we don’t see it ourselves. You always know how to inspire us and you are going to be an awesome grown up when you’re older. You always appreciate everyone and you know exactly how to pick us up when we’re down. I hope you like your present (you’ll get it later)

Okuda Manami: Happy Birthday Nagisa! I hope you have a wonderful day today. I just want to say thank you for being my friend and always encouraging me and helping me. You always know how to cheer me up and include me. See you at school.

Chiba Ryuunosuke: Happy Birthday Nagisa

Hazama Kirara: Happy Birthday fellow literature lover. I really enjoy talking about gothic literature with you - your analysis of themes and context is always very insightful and interesting and I enjoy spending time with you. If you ever need to escape, you can always come to me. PS - my offer to curse your mother is still up.

Muramatsu Takuya: Happy Birthday Nagisa. Hope you have fun. I made you some ramen (don’t worry its not my dad’s recipe so you’ll be good)

Terasaka Ryouma: Sup Shiota, Happy Birthday. I just want to say that I’m really sorry for being an a**hole and treating you like a jerk - especially forcing you to wear that grenade at the beginning of the year. You’re really good at assassination and you’ve got some serious moves. I dont really know what to say but you can always hang out with my gang whenever you want.

49 notes · View notes

jisungsmochi · 5 years ago

Text

stay - mark lee

mark and reader - best friend to lovers trope oops ft. supportive friend donghyuck (who is the mvp in this entire thing tbh)

inspired by the friendship of caroline and stefan during seasons 5 and 6 of the vampire diaries. i hope my fellow tvd fans can see where i was going with this!

n e wayz, this is pretty angsty and could be triggering so warnings: death mentioned, lots of grief and mentions of a car accident.

word count: 4.8k

without further ado, please enjoy and tell me what you think hehe

a/n: anyone else love kick it era mark? oop

“i’m so sorry for your loss” you heard the doctors speak to your parents. you hid behind the walls of your brother’s hospital room, eavesdropping on the conversation. your heart immediately stopped; this wasn’t possible. you had just seen him today. jisung wasn’t gone.

your parents were sobbing, you could hear the heartbroken cries from your mother. the doctors were equally distraught,

“i understand this is a very difficult time. please grieve with your family, again, my sincerest apologies” you dropped the bottle of water you were holding and bolted out of the room. you slammed yourself against the nearest wall and cried. you cried until your body ached, until your lungs were begging for more air. he wasn’t gone. jisung wasn’t gone. he was a fighter. you kept chanting in your head.

“y/n! what are you doing?” you heard donghyuck exclaim, instantly dropping to the ground with you.

“he’s gone, hyuck. he’s gone!” you wail, digging your nails into your palms.

donghyuck just held you in his arms, like nothing else truly mattered. he kept repeating “i’m sorry” to you, but he didn’t have anything to be sorry about. it wasn’t his fault.

“how’s mark?” you had the courage to finally speak.

“he’s...recovering. he’s refused to see the rest of us. i actually came to see if you were still around, maybe you could talk to him” donghyuck sighed, still brushing fingers through your hair. mark was your best friend. you would do anything for him. he was always there for you when you needed him to be. he always gave you crappy advice, which, 40% of the time actually worked. he drove you to school almost every day....your mind started drifting away,

driving.

a wreckless mistake can cause so much damage.

few hours ago

mark and jisung were driving home from basketball practice, as they had both recently started training together for a local team. it was fairly dark out, and mark didn’t want jisung to skate back home.

“just get in the car, jisung! there aren’t any girls to impress with your little skateboard” mark teased, watching as the younger boy just rolled his eyes and got into the car.

“i’m not trying to impress any girls” jisung huffs, putting on his seatbelt.

“you mean, one girl” mark smirked, knowing of his little crush on a girl in his maths class.

“shut up!” jisung blushed, turning on the radio to listen to some music.

“is it okay if we drive around for a bit longer? things at home aren’t so, well calm, i guess you can say” jisung mumbled, feeling embarrassed.

“oh okay, but are you sure you don’t want to go home? whatever it is, it can’t be too bad” mark just gulped, his thoughts wandering to you. were you okay?

“i’m sure, my parents are just arguing and well y/n doesn’t get to hear much of it because she’s always at the library or work or hanging with you guys! it’s hard just being at home, alone” jisung confides in the older boy, which led mark to have a warm feeling inside.

“thank you for trusting me, jisung! of course we can drive around, as long as you pick the songs!” mark tried to make jisung smile, even if it was the tiniest bit. jisung nodded along, turning up the volume.

they were driving along the highway, which wasn’t as busy as it usually was. the boys were laughing, telling stories of their random experiences from school. mark swore his eyes were off the road for a second, when suddenly, another car’s headlights blinded the two boys. mark tried to swerve to the side of the road, but it was too late, the other car crashed into the passenger side, causing his car to spiral.

mark reached for the younger boy’s hand, before his vision become blurry, knocking him out.

now he laid, staring at the ceiling of the hospital room. reliving that moment over and over. replaying it. how he could have saved him. how it should have been him.

mark lee was always seen as a protector to his friends. he was a natural leader. the one who always stood up for others. but right now, in this moment, he felt like a failure. he was ashamed. he couldn’t face you. no matter how many times the rest of the boys came over, telling him how distraught you were. mark refused to see you. every time he heard your voice behind the curtain, he moved to his side and pretended he was asleep.

one night, you snuck into his room, without warning him. you stared at his injuries, he looked miserable. he was in pain. your heart broke.

“mark” you whispered. the boy had his eyes closed and laid to his side again. you sighed, taking a seat next to his bed.

“i don’t know if you’re pretending or not. but i don’t like how you’ve been ignoring me. jisung is gone. i miss him. i miss you. i want to talk to you. mark, you’re the only person i need right now. please talk to me. i will wait for you. just please” you sobbed into your hands. mark’s heart ached to hear you cry. he hated when you cried. but he couldn’t get himself to just turn around and look at you.

“goodbye mark, i’ll see you soon” you whispered, giving up at that point. you stumbled out of the room, and walked towards the exit. you passed the room, jisung was in. and your eyes immediately teared up.

a few months went by, you were trying to get yourself back on track. it was graduation soon. you and your friends were beyond excited. you all needed something good to distract from the events.

“guys we made it!” jeno smiled, as they all huddled in a circle.

“i can’t believe jaemin was able to pass bio” renjun smirked, nudging the boy.

“i can’t believe it either mate” jaemin chuckled, along with everyone else. how you’d wish mark was here to see you graduate. he was always there. no matter what. you were all aware that mark had been discharged from the hospital. after that last night, you tried to see him again, but you saw someone else occupying his room. you heart sank, at the thought that mark had yet to speak one word to you in months. not even a message or call. nothing.

“anything you wanna say, y/n?” donghyuck pulls you closer to him, sending you had zoned out.

“i’m so proud of us, we got through some tough times together. thank you all, so so much” you felt a tear threaten to leave your eye,

“oh please don’t cry! it makes me wanna cry” jaemin pouted,

“group hug you losers!” renjun yelled as you all embraced eachother.

after graduation, things settled down. you, donghyuck and renjun were packing to move out of town for college, while jaemin and jeno were staying behind to take a gap year. things were finally going back to being normal, except, you hadn’t heard from mark since the accident.

you all were hanging out at donghyuck’s house, chatting away about your future plans and what you all wanted to achieve by this time next year.

“jaemin and i wanna start our own sports club! something fun to do during summers and we get to teach kids!” jeno excitedly explained,

“suits you guys so well! i’m so happy for you” you smile at him before getting ready to share your plans.

“this time next year i’d hope to have survived first year college stress and also, not be so sad anymore” your smile faded, as the boys solemnly looked at you.

“i miss him guys” you mutter, your words becoming softer.

“we miss both of them” donghyuck puts his arm around you. you both looked up and saw the other boys fidgeting. they looked uneasy.

“what’s up you guys?” you wipe away a small tear that stained your cheek. you prepared yourself for what they had to say,

“i don’t know how else to tell you but i spoke to mark, well the three of us did” renjun began talking, your eyes widened at his words.

“what do you mean you guys talked to him? where the fuck is he? why didn’t he come see all of us?” you screwed, visibly distraught at what you had heard. donghyuck held you back, knowing you weren’t truly angry at the boys.

“he came by one day when we were shooting hoops. he told us he was leaving town. he didn’t say where he was going” jaemin continued, the three boys sitting across from you had the most sympathetic expressions on their faces, you couldn’t be mad at them.

“he didn’t say anything about me?” you barely spoke above a whisper, watching as the three shook their heads simultaneously.

“that dick” donghyuck exclaims, letting go of your figure. he stood up and began pacing.

“he just left her. he left y/n, alone. he’s known her longer than any of us and just left. he’s a dick” the boy balled his fists.

“we know, we too, don’t understand why he’s gone. but what else can we do? he’s pretty much dropped off the face of the earth” jeno sighed, holding his head in his hands.

“i hate him” you raise your voice, everyone immediately draws their eyes to you and goes silent.

“y/n, no you don’t. you don’t hate mark” renjun muttered, trying to not let this escalate.

“i hate him! i hate him so much! i hate him for leaving me. i hate him for ignoring me. i hate him for letting me fall inlove with him” you whimper at the last few words. holding your hands over your chest, tears staining your cheeks.

the boys knew of how you felt about mark. it wasn’t so discrete. you thought of him as more than a friend, but you never thought you stood a chance. he was seen as a brother to you. but you already had a brother. you wanted mark, you wanted him to hold you when you were upset. you wanted him to be the one to comfort you during dark times. you wanted him to wake you up in the mornings with small kisses. but you would never get that. because mark lee was selfish. he was a coward. he just left.

you swore to yourself you wouldn’t contact him. but when you looked all around your room, pictures of you and mark and your silly adventures were plastered everywhere. you wanted to take them down, but some photos had jisung in them, you didn’t have the guts to remove any photos, it would have hurt too much.

you broke your promise to yourself, you continued to send mark voicemails every single day for a month. you wished him well, and that he was safe and happy. you hoped that he had found new friends and was living a great new life. you spoke about your days, and what you did. knowing that he may not even have the same phone or number. speaking out your thoughts still helped in a way. even if the other end was completely radio silent.

you were scribbling down the last sentences of your notes for class the next day, when you hear your phone ringing.

“yes, hyuck?” you answer, closing up your notebook and placing your stationery back in its usual place.

“i know this sounds crazy, but i think i know where mark is” he blurts out. you stop completely in your tracks, unsure of where he was going with this.

“how did you- when? what?” was all you could say.

“some of my second year friends, kept mentioning, a new kid named mark that has been hanging around at their parties. they aren’t sure if he goes to the same college as us, but he’s definitely a lot closer than we thought” donghyuck explains to you over the phone, you were stringing along with every word.

“where is he then?” you started biting at your nails, feeling a wave of anxiousness wash over you.

“he’s roommates with a guy named lucas, we can go there on the weekend if you want. i got their address” donghyuck waited for you to respond, but you were just in shock. not only did you think you would never see mark again, he was only staying a few towns away. that broke you down even more.

you decided to send one last voicemail to mark that night.

“i still don’t know if you even listen to these. but i’m coming to see you mark. you’ve hurt me so much, and you’re not even physically here to do it. you know how fucked up that is? i can’t wait to see what excuses you have for me, but i will not hold back”

saturday morning rolled around and donghyuck was at the front of your house, waiting in his car. you rushed out, bidding a goodbye to your parents and jumped into his car.

“ready for the road?” donghyuck flashed you a smile, waiting as you nodded, before starting the engine and driving off to the mysterious destination.

the whole drive there, you felt sick to your stomach. you weren’t sure what you would say to mark. you weren’t sure if you would even be able to speak. you might have just cried the moment he opened the door.

“we’re here” donghyuck cut out your thoughts. you both exited the car and made your way to the apartment. your nerves were going through the roof, you hoped mark was there, you really did.

donghyuck sensed your nerves, he gave you a tight hug before knocking on the door himself.

it took a few seconds before you heard footsteps. the door swung open and you were greeted by a tall boy with tanned skin and light brown hair. he was wearing a white t-shirt and black shorts, you assumed it was lucas.

“may i help you guys?” he asks kindly,

“we’re...friends, uh of mark” you spoke, watching as he nodded.

“i didn’t know he had friends coming over! i was just heading out, he’s in his room right now, feel free to come in! i’ll call him” lucas smiled widely, opening the door wider. you felt your heart pound in your chest. you were about to face the boy who brought you so much pain in the past few months.

“markie! you got some friends here for ya!” lucas yelled while pretty much slamming on his door.

“what do you mean friends?” you heard the familiar voice ring through your ears. you watched as the same boy, walked into the living area. his hair was now raven black, compared to his chestnut brown colour, you were far too familiar with. his face immediately became pale. lucas stares between the two of you, raising his eyebrows in confusion,

“this is kinda awkward, i’m gonna go now, see you guys, have fun catching up”

mark just gave him a small wave before walking towards you. donghyuck stood behind you, ready in case you couldn’t handle your emotions.

“what are you doing here?” his voice was so cold. he was so straight forward. you wanted nothing more but for him to hold you and say he’s sorry.

“really?” was all you could choke out at that moment. you saw his eyes shift around the room, clearly uncomfortable with the situation.

“i’m gonna leave you two to talk” donghyuck states as he moves to the kitchen, mark leads you to his room, closing the door behind you both.

“i can’t believe you” you stutter, crossing your arms, watching as he sits on his bed.

“what? y/n? you can’t believe what? that i actually have a good life right now?” mark groans at you. this may have been the first time you’ve seen him so distraught.

“what happened to you? did you not get my messages? my voicemails?” you whimper, he refused to even look at you.

“i couldn’t listen to them. you know that” mark muttered, turning his head to look at you.

“why did you leave?” you sighed, moving to sit next to him, leaving a fair space between you two.

“i couldn’t stay. i couldn’t stay in that town when everything bad that happened to all of us, was my fault” mark’s voice was unsteady. he couldn’t control the sobs that wanted to escape.

“what do you mean?” you wanted to hold his hand, touch him in any way you could.

“i killed him, y/n. how can you forgive me? how can you still care for me?” mark looked right into your eyes, his were glossed over in tears. the dark circles under his eyes and his messy hair, didn’t indicate he was living his best life.

“you did not kill, jisung. you got hurt too” you move to sit right against him, your shoulders touching.

“i did though. i’m the one to blame. jisung didn’t want to go home that night because your parents were fighting. he wanted an escape. i should have still taken him home. i shouldn’t have gone on that route through town. it was all my fault” mark whimpered, tears flowing out of his eyes. you placed your hand over his. your eyes beginning to stream tears of your own.

“oh mark lee, you could have never predicted that something that terrible could have happened. no body blames you” you held his head to your chest, letting his tears trickle down your shirt.

“i didn’t want to leave you, you know” he sniffled. you nodded, even though he couldn’t see you.

“but you still did. you hurt me, mark. real bad. i hated you at one point. i thought we were stronger than that” you sighed, brushing your fingers through his hair. he pulled himself up to look at you.

“i’m sorry” he mumbled, pulling his face closer to yours.

“it’s okay” you were speechless, you had never been so close to him. he stared into your eyes, flickering down to your lips.

“i’m inlove with you” you mumble, ready to press your lips together. mark stopped you, pulling himself back.

“i- i can’t” he stood up and turned his back to you.

“what?” you grabbed his shoulder, turning him to face you again. he got slightly taller, or maybe it was because you hadn’t seen him in so long.

“i can’t love you like that. i’ve hurt you too much. you deserve better than me. i can’t” mark runs his fingers through his hair. you were more frustrated than ever,

“you’re right, i do deserve better than you. go fuck yourself” you grit through your teeth, before landing a loud smack to his face. he tried to chase after you, but you were already out the door. donghyuck was about to follow you when he bumped into mark.

“look here buddy, you fucked with her heart so bad. i don’t care what you said to her, but she would die for you. she would have done anything for you. she cried almost every day for a month after graduation, because she wanted you there for her” donghyuck shoved the older boy, so that his back hit the nearest wall.

“you don’t know how much pain she’s been through, and all she wanted was for her best friend, to be there for her. and you couldn’t even do that. you’re a coward mark lee. she’s inlove with you. and i know you are too. i know you want to protect her, but she’s desperate for your love again. so cut this act and be a decent human. for her sake. please” donghyuck finishes, not waiting for mark to respond before chasing you to his car. you had already sat in the passenger seat and began crying hysterically.

“it’s okay sweets, he will come to his senses soon” donghyuck pulls you in for a quick side hug, before starting the car.

you were too broken. and you weren’t sure if anything could fix you.

a week had passed since that dreaded day. you had barely left your house. it was exactly like the week after jisung passed, all over again. your parents weren’t sure if they should push you to tell them what was wrong. you were glad they thought that, it kept you from talking about your feelings for mark. even if he was a complete ass to you, you couldn’t get rid of years of emotions.

you were laying in your bed, rewatching the vampire diaries for the thousandth time, finally getting up to parts where stefan and caroline were almost in the same situation as you and mark. you groaned at how painful it was to watch. you shut your laptop, and sighed, you hadn’t showered in a while. as you were getting ready, you heard a faint knock on your door. you assumed it was one of your parent’s, checking up on you.

“come in!” you yell, grabbing your stuff in your arms. the door opened slowly, you heard the person cough slightly, knowing it wasn’t your parents, you froze.

“uh hey” mark’s voice echoed through your room. you glared at him, ready to shove past him and tell him to leave. but as you approached him, he grabbed your wrist. you groaned, tears ready to stream. you started banging his chest, mumbling hurtful words to him. he knew you that what you were saying was true. he didn’t deny anything. he held both your wrists, not wanting you to punch him anymore. you just balled your fists, pushing your head into his chest. he let go of your wrist and pulled you into his chest completely. he stroked your hair gently, mumbling “i’m so sorry baby” over and over again. you felt your arms wrap around his torso. you weren’t sure what you were feeling at that moment, but it wasn’t complete hatred or anger for him. he was always going to be your mark lee.

“i’m sorry baby” he muttered, before you looked up at him. his eyes were red, indicating he was crying before he even entered your room.

“baby?” you mumble. not once in your entire friendship, sort of not friendship, did he call you baby.

“yes. i’m a little too late but, i’m inlove with you, y/n. i know i pushed you away, i didn’t want to. i hope you trust me on that. i didn’t want to hurt you, but i did it anyway. i didn’t want you to think about me anymore. you could have been happier without me. you could have made new friends! gotten new interests, become a new you. i didn’t know that you needed me that much” he stuttered over his words, holding both your hands in his.

“i don’t know what to say” you shake your head, holding onto his hands tightly, as if he was going to just leave again.

“can i kiss you?” he pressed his forehead onto yours. your heart didn’t hurt so much anymore. you weren’t sure how you were feeling, but you weren’t opposed to the proposition. you nodded slowly, watching as mark pulled your chin up with his finger and pressed his cold lips onto yours. this wasn’t how you imagined your first kiss with mark. you dreamt of it being in his car, while you two were watching the city lights and stats like you would always do. but this feeling, was something you couldn’t stop.

you held onto his shoulder and he moved his hand to cup your cheek. he pulled away, pressing his forehead onto yours again,

“you don’t need to forgive me, ever really. i just needed to do that before anything else happened. y/n, i would do anything for you. even if that meant pushing you away so you could be happier. i’m happier with you. i am a better person with you. and if it takes me forever to prove that to you, i’ll do it, because being with you, feels like forever” mark muttered before pressing another kiss to your lips. you didn’t respond with words, instead you pulled him in by his shirt and continued to kiss him repeatedly. he led you to your bed, your back pressed against your mattress, with mark on top of you. he tried to pull away to speak but you continued to kiss him more. eventually he started chuckling,

“why are you laughing?” you smiled, still holding onto his shoulders.

“you just want to kiss! how about tell me how you feel!” he chuckled once more, causing you to roll your eyes. you pushed him back, sitting cross legged from him.

“i don’t forgive you yet, you have a lot of making up to do. but i just want you to promise me one thing” you sigh, taking his hand in yours.

“anything” he assured you, squeezing your hand in his.

“promise you won’t leave again. please. stay with me” your voice cracked, thoughts of him hurting you, coming back,

“i’m not leaving anymore baby, i’m not going to run away from my problems. i’m done with that. i’m focusing on us now” you felt more tears prickle in your eyes,

“oh no why are you crying?” he pouted, wiping away your tears.

“fuck you, you’re too fucking cute” you manage to smile, letting him know you weren’t upset.

“you’re cuter” he mutters into your temple.

“i love you, mark” you run your fingers around the palm of his hand.

“i love you too, y/n” he stroked your hair gently as you both cuddled up in your bed.

mark lee. the only boy who was your weakness. but also made you strong. he loved you like no one had ever before. he wanted to protect you from any danger that came towards your way. he needed you close, as did you. he will always be the one for you, no matter what happens.

a/n: apologies for any mistakes! mark lee got me feeling things *sigh*

#mark lee #mark lee imagine #nct imagine #nct angst #nct dream imagine #nct 127 imagine #nct fic #nct au #mark lee au #mark lee fic #jisungsmochiimagines #jisungsmochi masterlist

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nad-zeta · 4 years ago

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Match up Duo (˶◕‿◕˶✿)

Hi hi, dear! ❤🥰Here is your matchup! Sorry for taking soooooo freaken long with this! I low key forgot it was in my DM’s whooooops. 😱😅😅Hehe, I hope you enjoy this love, and I hope you have the best day! Sending ya lots o hugs! Hope you are keeping safe and warm! @jeonlys☀️🌻❤

So without further ado the match up.

So I match you with.......... Shakespeare

The clock struck midnight and Shakespeare could feel the workings of fate at play as a surge of power struck the small town in the heart of Paris, leaving the play writer in complete darkness. He grabbed hold of his coat and made his way to his dear Comte’s mansion to attend their annual dinner celebrating their new lives.

His carriage arrived just in time to see a strange woman lingering in the doorway of the mansion. He leisurely got out of the carriage and strolled towards the mansion.

Selfie matchup part

Shakespeare’s breath caught in his throat the very first moment he laid his eyes on you

You were absolutely captivating

Two pairs of multicoloured eyes met each other and Shakespeare swore he got lost, in the depth of those two shining jewels

They were utterly and completely unique, like his own.

It reminded him of a serene place where heaven meets earth.

The two contrasting colours harmonizing so perfectly to create a picture of a pure calm summers day

Looking in those pools of swirling hues, he couldn’t help but wish himself a painter, so that he could capture those perfect eye.

The eyes that reminded him of a lush green forest bursting with life reflecting off the still sapphire river

In those eyes he found only warmth, a sense of peace and serenity that he had never known, and he found his mind quieting down

Shakespeare suddenly felt the urge to write, to write poetry about the beauty that was before him

To express on paper just how hypnotizing he found the way your long dark hair danced in the light evening breeze

Or how the fair beauty before him must be a goddess or celestial being

He could already picture a life with you by his side. He was never one for romance but one look at you, made him want to change his plays from romantic tragedies to pure romance scripts

He wanted nothing more then to hold you in his arms and pull his fingers through those long raven locks

He had to look away, as he thought he might be further bewitched if he stared at you for any longer

Normal Match-up

Shakespeare walked over to you, after finally gaining some much-needed composure and introduced himself along with the other mansion residents. His lips quirked into a gentle smile as he heard his fellow vampires comment about the intimidating look on your face.

But not Shakespeare he was intrigued to find out just what laid beneath that shy smile and intimidating expression you had shown everyone.

As the evening progressed you spoke very little confirming Shakespeare’s suspicions that you must be somewhat of a reserved introvert. However, he couldn’t help but be drawn to you, none the less, he was determined to get to know the woman beneath. Before he left the mansion he invited both you and Vincent over to his manor for a cup of tea the following day.

And so your daily visits to Shakespeare’s estate started, you had enjoyed his company so much after the first tea date, that you couldn’t help but keep visiting the man.

The two of you bonded heavily over your mutual dislike for social norms and societal standards. In fact, it was the topic of many an hour worth of conversations. You had actually been the one to inspire Shakespeare to make a controversial play to challenge the current social norms and standards of the late 19th century, and prompt them to think a little deeper about the relating issues instead of just follow along with the flock

Sometimes when you would visit the play writer, neither of you would speak, yet both of you would be sitting in the comfortable silence of each other’s presences. Each busy with their own creative writing and reading, while listening to the soothing music in the background. Shakespeare honestly loves to read your writings and will always rave about how beautifully written or perfect they are. Otherwise this man just simply enjoys your company, while you occupy his sofa and read.

Most days when the two of you are feeling playful, Shakespeare will pull out his newest script from one of his plays and the two of you will goof around. Wearing the most ridiculous costumes while reciting the play. You cant help but throw a few meme references in there, which honestly intrigues the man.

Shakespeare absolutely loves everything about you, from your straightforward personality to your rational mind. He loves that you, like him, dabbles in the arts of horror and mystery. His eyes lit up in absolute delight when you had told him of your love for horror and mystery movies. As we all know this boy loves to pull string behind the scenes to manipulate his own twisted, tragic romances, as inspiration for his own plays.

However, since meeting you, he can’t bring himself to resort to those kinds of actions of manipulation, and he finds himself hoping, no praying that your friendship does not take a turn for tragedy. Knowing about your love for horror and mystery movies, he actually produces a few plays just for you to enjoy. Otherwise, he is forever whisking you away from the mansion, to some other play produced by a fellow friend. This boi would honestly do anything to please you.

The two of you had been friends for quite some time now, and somewhere down the line of your friendship you actually fell for Shakespeare. He honestly couldn’t wipe the smile off his face whenever you would flirt with him in your own way. He found your flirting style of softly criticizing rather cute, and would always smile like the biggest fool whenever you would subtly drop these comments.

Oh and how he loved that you were a fellow animal and nature lover. It was actually upon discovery of this fact that he decided it was time to move out of the friend zone and confess his undying love for you. He knew you absolutely adored dogs, as you would always rave about Arthur and Theo’s furry friends. Honestly, Shakespeare would do anything just to see that beautiful rare smile grace that angelic face of yours, so he started planning.

He invited you on an outing one day, so that he could gather some Intel for his plan. The two of you strolled around the market when Shakespeare spotted the pet shop. He took you by the hand and lead you inside, saying that he needed to get his dearest rabbit some more food. As he walked around the critter aisle to grab some rabbit pellets, his two-toned eyes followed you through the shop and watched you settle in front of the cages that held a litter of cute puppies. He was surprised however, when it was not the puppies that you reached out to pet, but an older rescue dog that had been brought to the shop for weeks now, in the hopes of finding an owner. Shakespeare saw the way your eyes lit up as you softly pet the dog. His heart also broke at the way your face dropped when you left the poor dog in the store to make your way back to his manor. He gently held your hand to comfort you, as the two of you made your way back. A slither of a smile touching his lips, as he recalled his conversation with the shop owner to arrange that the doggo along with some supplies be brought to his manor later that day.

Although you and Shakespeare have not known each other for years and years, the two of you still share a deep connection. Shakespeare, through all the time spent with you, has picked up on all your cute mannerisms and habits. He can easily understand and decipher what you are thinking or feeling without you even saying a word. Just by the little habits that he has observed through all the time spent together.

One night after going to a mystery play with the man, he invited you back to his manor for a nightcap. He was honestly not ready to be parted from you just yet, plus he had a surprise for you. The two of you walked hand in hand back to his manor. Once you were inside, he made you a cup of tea and told you that he had a surprise for you. He disappeared only to reappear moments later with the very dog you had petted in the pet shop. You were honestly overjoyed, your mind had actually been drifting the animal at times, wondering if you should have adopted him there and then. You were genuinely thrilled. The two of you spent that night playing with the new doggo and rabbit.

As the night progressed, Shakespeare looked over at you, to see you were all tired out from the busy day, head nodding off to sleep. He smiled the tenderest of smiles and picked you up, to carry you off to the bed, in his spare room. He gently tucked you in and ghosted a kiss over your lips as he wished you a good night

Needless to say in the weeks to follow the two of you confessed your love for each other and started your new relationship.

Shakespeare love, love, loved your open-mindedness. You were one of the few people other than Vincent, that actually attempted to understand him before judging him. He adored the fact that you stuck to your open-minded ideals not caring what others thought of you. This was something that actually strengthened your relationship, as you rationally was able to learn and understand why Shakespeare had done the thing he had done in the past, and still love him for the man that he was. Despite Theo and Arthur’s opinions of him being super shady.

All and all you and Shakespeare made the cutest couple. Shakespeare’s emotional depth balances out your rationality and logical thinking perfectly. Both of you are able to teach and learn, from the way the other views the world.

Shakespeare is always spoiling you and showering you with affection. For someone who had spent his days writing about romantic tragedies, who knew, such a hopeless romantic laid beneath the surface. He is forever planning cute dates and fun activities for the two of you. His favourite is to take you to a vast flower field for a summertime picnic with your beloved pets. He loves to hold you in his arms as the two of you watch the pet rabbit and dog run around the open plain. Although he knows you don’t really show your affections easily, he knows that you love him as much as he loves you

This man loves to kiss and hug you any chance he can get. His favourite thing in the world is to be snuggled up on the sofa with you, as relaxing music plays in the background. He will nuzzle his nose in your neck and shower your face with small kisses, as he tries to distract you from your nighttime reading.

Often times, in the early hours of the morning, as he watches the rise and fall of your chest and you peacefully sleep, he will think back to that first night of your arrival. He has always believed in destiny and fate, and he knows that you coming into his life was the work of the universe. You had come into his life when he had needed you the most. He closed his eyes and sent up a silent prayer thanking whichever forces allowed him to have met his soulmate. Opening his eyes once more he placed the sweetest of kisses on your lips, before pulling you closer to him as he rejoins you in a blissful sleep in the arms of the woman he loves most in the world

Other potential matches………………. Dazai

I hope you enjoyed this dear and I hope you have a super good day! ☀️🌻❤🥰

#matchups #match ups #ikesen matchup #ikevamp matchup #ikevamp match up #ikevamp shakespeare #william shakespeare #ikemen vampire shakespeare #shakespeare match up

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queen-of-songs · 4 years ago

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The Accidental Crush of Sansa Stark and the recurring annoyance that followed- Chapter 2 pt.1

"Sansa? If you could date any boy counselors here, who would you date?" Shireen, an adorable little camper asked as she walked all of them to canoeing. Sansa paused. Was her developing attraction that obvious? One of the golden staff rules was that there were to be no summer romances or if there was one, to be discreet to the point leadership didn't have any suspicions.

"She'd date Harry of course! Have you seen the way he looks at her?!" Beth giggled. "They would be like Ariel and...Philip!"

"Philip is Aurora's prince, Beth. Ariel's prince is Eric remember?" Alys shook her head at Beth. "I think Sansa would be happiest with Sam!"

"Sam likes Gilly, he blushes every time he's around her," Osha spoke up and the girls around her nodded in agreement.

"Sansa should go out with Dickon, he's so handsome!" Minisa sighed dreamily while Lyanna rolled her eyes.

"Can't you all see Sansa likes...." Lyanna began before Sansa interrupted her. "Girls, I appreciate you all comparing me to a Disney princess and wishing for my happiness. But I assure you, I don't feel that way toward anyone here."

Most of the girls seemed convinced by her little white lie and forgot about their question within seconds. All except for Lyanna. Lyanna stood behind while the other girls went down to the canoeing river. She tilted her head at Sansa in curiosity and Sansa took a deep breath.

"What is it Lyanna?"

"I saw you look at Jon at the pool yesterday."

"Lyanna, I had sunglasses on. I was looking at everyone in the pool." Sansa scoffed, hoping the defiant little camper would drop it. But Lyanna raised her chin with a sly smile on her face.

"Maybe that's true. But I saw you look at him a couple of times today at breakfast and you didn't have sunglasses then. You get a big smile on your face when he's around like the Disney princesses do."

Perhaps I should tone it down a bit.

Sansa took a moment to collect herself and sighed. "Lyanna, Jon is my coworker and friend. I smile when I see all my coworkers..."

"It's different with Jon. That's the way my mom looked at my dad before he died." Lyanna sadly smiled and quickly ran off to join her fellow campers, while Sansa stood in silence.

——————————-

"Girls, can I ask you something?" Sansa asked as she turned up the volume to skype her friends during break time. Margaery was in the process of making an anniversary gift for Theon, Dany was painting her nails so they could be ready for her date night with Daario, Missandei was painting a portrait for Grey, and Brienne was ordering a knife for Jaime's birthday.

"Sure, Sansa!" They all sang in unison.

"Am I being too obvious if one of my campers can tell who I am attracted to?" Sansa spoke quickly, hoping they missed it. But judging by how they were all looking at each other as if they were in the Brady Bunch credits, they did.

"OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Missandei shouted.

"I bet it's Harry! Margaery surmised.

"I think it's Dickon. Did you see the pics Sansa posted that tagged him in? They'd be absolutely perfect together!" Dany sighed happily.

"Well, are you going to tell us who it is?" Brienne rose an eyebrow.

"It's the guy I told you all about that pissed me off a few weeks ago. We've patched things up and he's really...cool." Sansa blushed and saw their collective smiles.

"You never told us Mr. Broody's name, what is it?" Margaery inquired.

"His name is Jon, Jon Snow," Sansa responded, and immediately Dany spat out her drink. "Jon Snow?! You like him?!"

"Yeah. Do you know him Dany?" Sansa asked, confused out of her mind.

"He's my nephew," Dany responded and Margaery's eyes widened. "Dany, how on earth do you have a nephew the same age as you?"

"Remember my older brother Rhaegar? Jon is his whoops kid after he had an affair while Elia was in a coma." Dany shrugged.

"Oh yeah! But you've never mentioned him before, why is that?" Missandei asked in curiosity.

"I didn't know he existed until he came to live with Rhaegar and Elia four years ago. He's hasn't been around much because he was either going to school or working at camp." Dany answered and Brienne leaned forward. "Dany, what were you going to add about Jon earlier when Sansa mentioned that she liked him?"

"He's a great guy...but Sansa, he has a girlfriend. Her name is Lysa Tully. He's been dating her for years. I am truly sorry, Sansa." Dany's face was full of sadness.

"Dany, don't be sorry! I'm glad you told me before I made a fool of myself. Now I can be more cognizant of my actions." Sansa put her hands in a heart shape and Dany laughed as she responded with heart hands back.

"But damn, I wish it were different. It would be so cool to have you as my sis...niece in law. Seven hells, that's so weird...."Dany began before all the girls cackled in unison.

Before long, Margaery narrowed her eyes. That typically meant she was vying for information. "Dany, give us the deets on Lysa."

"My brother and Elia think she's a character," Dany grimaced.

"That sounds like how my grandmother would describe Mr. Baelish and Mr.Varys," Margaery hummed.

"Rhaenys tolerates her and Aegon can't stand to be in the same room as her. My experience made me want to slap her, honestly."

"What happened?" Brienne inquired and Dany sighed. "She made Daario feel uncomfortable because he's not from "here," whatever "here" is supposed to mean."

"Oh. She's one of those types of people... ew does that mean Jon is as well???" Missandei rose an eyebrow.

"No, not by a long shot. Jon is super passionate about social issues and has always been involved in some way or another. He and Lysa got into an argument after she made Daario feel uncomfortable. She ended up apologizing, though I didn't think it was truly genuine. I think it was only to show Jon that she was "improving." Dany shrugged, while Brienne, Margaery, and Missandei collectively sighed. Sansa bit the inside of her cheek.

Of course, he has a girlfriend. He's good looking and has a kind soul. Who was I kidding? Well, maybe I can try to be his friend at least. Yes. That's what I'll do and my feelings will go away. They have before and they will now.

After making her decision, Sansa spoke up.

"Well ladies, enough about me and my sad crush life. Tell me about all your individual plans with your guys!!!!!!"

———————————-

"Sansa, you should go! I'm sure it'll be loads of fun!" Her co-counselor Mya exclaimed.

The leadership team decided last minute to have counselor late-night swim and Sansa internally debated if she really wanted to go.

If I am trying to friendzone my crush, shouldn't I try to limit the times I see him wet and shirtless?

"I'm really tired, Mya. I just want to take a hot shower, it's been a really long day."

It wasn't necessarily a bad excuse. It had been a long day. It hadn't even been five minutes after Sansa ended her skype call with her friends when she heard Dickon radio for her help. Two of the girls got into a fight during canoeing and poor Beth cried the entire time after she fell backward in the river. The next skill area didn't fare well either after Minisa got bit by a brown recluse and had to go to the hospital. Then later in the day, the porch swing broke off at the merchandise store and Lyanna sprained her ankle. Sansa had gotten well acquainted with nurse Thoros. Because she worked so well with the little ones, she typically made calls throughout the week but never this many in one week.

"That's true but Sansa, you've been such a trooper today. You deserve a break." Mya reasoned.

"You were there too, Mya. I wouldn't have survived today without you, honestly. In fact, why don't you go tonight and I'll go tomorrow?" Sansa responded.

"Are you sure, Sansa?"

"Absolutely."

"Aww thanks, Sansa." Mya smiled and hugged Sansa tight for a few seconds before going to her room in the cabin to get a bathing suit.

"Oh by the way Mya, I'd wear the blue one. Harry blushes a little when you wear it." Sansa looked at her nails while Mya's mouth slightly dropped.

"How did you know?! I thought I was hiding it well."

"You are! I'm the only one who can really tell because I'm a big sucker for enemies to lovers so I can tell by the little things."

"...Harry blushed a little when I wore it last?"

"Yeah and I'm pretty sure he was going to say something before one of his campers jumped in the pool with his stuffed kittens." Sansa and Mya began chuckling as they remembered the sweet little boy who wanted to prove cats weren't afraid of water.

"Well thank you for the heads up, Sansa." Mya began to leave before leaning back in the doorway. "Should I wear my braids up or down?"

"Do whatever makes you feel confident."

"I'm going to wear them down. Harry Hardyng, here I come." Mya sang as she left the cabin into the hall to go change.

"Sansa?" a soft whisper woke her up and she could see Mya's outline by the bed. Sansa rose up on her elbow and she could tell Mya wanted to talk out in the hall. She followed her out quietly and then sat against the wall.

"Mya, how was it?" Sansa rose an eyebrow and a deep blush appeared on Mya's brown skin.

"It was wonderful. We... we kissed under the water. It was magical." Mya sighed happily and Sansa's heart leaped with joy.

"Did anyone see you two?"

"Surprisingly and thankfully, no. Everyone was distracted by Sam and Gilly. He finally asked her out!"

"Sounds like a good night for everyone it seems." Sansa smiled and closed her eyes for just a moment before Mya spoke up.

"Do you like anyone Sansa?" Sansa opened her eyes to see Mya have an eyebrow raised.

"Erm... not really." Sansa lied and Mya scoffed as she began redoing her braids.

"Are you sure? Because I'm pretty sure I saw you staring at your former pool duty partner a bit the other day. Is that why you switched?"

"For one, for some reason, I thought Jon was going tonight before I remembered he and Harry are co's this week. Two, it doesn't matter how I feel."

"Why doesn't it matter, Sansa?"

"Because he has a girlfriend." Sansa's voice cracked a little and Mya's face filled with sorrow.

"I'm sorry I brought it up, Sansa."

"It's okay."

"What's your game plan?"

"My game plan? I want to become his friend and try to friendzone him."

"Friendzone your crush, hmm. I've never heard of that before. How are you going to do it?"

"Ask him about his girlfriend, what he likes, try to steer from anything super personal, keep a healthy distance, and....I'll talk about guys I find attractive."

"Besides Jon, who else would you want to go on a date with at camp?"

"Not really." Sansa shrugged.

"Any guys back home?"

"Um sort of I guess? If you count teammates/friends Robb brings home during breaks. His is name is Pyp. He's really cool and kind." Sansa smiled.

"Ooh tell me more!" Mya rested her face on her hands as the girls did during storytime before bed.

"He's majoring in Civil Engineering. He plays left wing on the hockey team at White Harbor, he's pretty good. I wouldn't be surprised if he was drafted in the WHL. He's pretty funny and a movie buff."

"Why didn't you go on a date with him then?"

"I was scared after everything that went down with Waymar, that I was a little hesitant to date."

"What did happen with Waymar?" Mya questioned.

"I made a fool out myself for him. I wore different clothes, dyed my hair black, and I even started going by my middle name to seem "cooler" to him. I..." Sansa shuddered. "I gave him special favors in the hopes, he just so he'd finally see me. One day, he texted me to meet up with him at his house and I went over thinking that he was going to ask me to be his girlfriend. I got there and the door was wide open. I thought it was a bit strange and I went in, worried if Waymar was okay when I heard noises coming from his bedroom. I opened the door and caught him having sex with my former best friend Myranda. I closed the door and ran down the stairs. Waymar and Myranda came down right before I left. Waymar forgot he texted me and tried to apologize while Myranda just smirked at me. I asked her 'How could you?' and she said 'You're the biggest fool to ever think you had a shot with Waymar and I only became friends with you to get to him along with your money. Who would anyone ever want to date someone like you? You're a stupid and ugly little girl. Oh, you're crying now. How sad? No one's ever had the guts to tell you that? You're sasquatch with no curves or boobs."

Sansa looked down at the crown, while hot tears streamed down her face. Mya gathered her in her arms as Sansa sobbed.

"You know what Myranda said about you isn't true right? You're beautiful on the inside and out. Hell, I wish I was as tall and skinny as you." Mya whispered while Sansa shook her head.

"Mya, you're beautiful."

"So are you! Being tall sounds great, I don't like always having to crane my neck to look at Harry when we're bantering. The pool is probably one of the few kisses where he won't have to practically bend down to kiss me. Don't get me started on being curvy and having to find jeans that don't feel like they're not suffocating my thighs and butt while having a huge awkward gap in the back." Mya ranted. "Don't be hard on yourself, Sansa. You're amazing, you need to believe that. The girls love you, I love you, your other friends and family love you, and everyone at camp does. You need to love yourself."

"Thank you, Mya. You're right, I do need to work on loving myself." Sansa smiled.

"That's the spirit!" Mya high fived her and then they heard the door open from Mya's room to see Beth's face full of tears.

"What's wrong Beth? Did you have a nightmare?" Mya asked, her voice full of concern.

"No, I..." Beth's lip wobbled. "Miss Mya, I woke up and I realized I don't have any more underwear for the rest of the week."

"How many did you bring Beth?" Sansa asked as Beth sat down in between her and Mya.

"My brother packed me six."

Only six for Sunday through Friday? I'd pack at least twelve or fourteen... Wait! It's only Tuesday?!

"But it's only Tuesday Beth, how did you go through six?" Mya's eyes widened.

"I... I peed myself a bit on Sunday when I was waiting for the bathroom after I took my shower, so I had to change. Monday, I got my unicorn undies wet from the shower after I dropped them. I asked Lyanna to get some out of my bag. Today, after I fell in the water I got scared I was going to get leeches so I changed into my last pair. I just keep getting bad luck!" Beth started to tear up and an idea popped up in Sansa's mind.

"Beth, are all your dirty clothes in a bag?" Sansa asked.

Beth nodded and Sansa sighed in relief.

"Okay, I'm going to wash all of your dirty clothes in the washer and you'll have your five pairs clean again."

"Won't people judge me for re-wearing the same undies again?"

"No, it's none of their business and besides sometimes I wear the same undies when I don't take a shower for a day if I didn't sweat." Sansa shrugged.

"Same." Mya agreed and Beth looked at the both of them in amazement.

"Thank you so much, Miss Sansa and Miss Mya!" Beth hugged them both and went back into Mya's room.

"What. A. Night," Mya exclaimed and Sansa couldn't help but agree.

"Drinking coffee right before lunch?" Jon asked as Sansa filled her coffee mug.

"Yep. I'm exhausted, I had to wash one of my girls' clothes because she didn't pack enough underwear. She was upset and it broke my heart. Yesterday just wasn't her day."

"Beth right? She's a sweetheart." Jon smiled before he took a sip of his tea.

"She definitely is." Sansa nodded in agreement.

"Is she your favorite this week?"

"We as counselors aren't supposed to have favorites." Sansa attempted to be stern as Jon rose an eyebrow and narrowed his eyes. Sansa began laughing so hard that her nose snorted and coffee spilled down her nose.

She grabbed a napkin and dabbed at her nose, refusing to make eye contact with him.

Seven hells, why must I embarrass myself in front of hot guys??? Why can't my laugh be sweet and adorable???

"I like your laugh, it's cute. You should do it more often." Jon's deep voice broke into her reverie and she lifted her eyes to see a small grin on his face.

"You should make more dramatic faces and jokes then," Sansa smiled back and Jon laughed a little.

"Noted." Jon nodded and then his eyebrows knitted together. "I just realized you didn't go to last night's late-night."

"Nope, besides doing Beth's laundry, I took a hot shower and talked to Mya out in the hall for a bit."

"Oh, Mya? Harry had heart eyes when he came back to the cabin last night. About damn time something happened."

"Mr. Jon? Did you just curse on campgrounds?" Sansa dramatically exclaimed and Jon chuckled as he shook his head.

"I sure did, Miss Sansa. Am I going to lose points now?"

#jonsa #jon x sansa #actuallyjonsa #jonsa fandom #jonsa fic #The Accidental Crush of Sansa Stark and the recurring annoyance that followed

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kkintle · 5 years ago

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Just Kids by Patti Smith; Quotes

I suspected my soul, being mischievous, might slip away while I was dreaming and fail to return.

“Hot or not, it’s time you started wearing a shirt. You’re about to become a young lady.” I protested vehemently and announced that I was never going to become anything but myself, that I was of the clan of Peter Pan and we did not grow up.

No one expected me. Everything awaited me.

with one foot in the street and the other in the Milky Way.

He suddenly appeared, as vagabonds will sometimes find one another.

I thought to myself that he contained a whole universe that I had yet to know.

“At least they’ll never get it,” he said. “Who are they?” I asked. “Anyone who isn’t us,” he answered.

“Nothing is finished until you see it.”

The wine didn’t interest him; it was the funny feeling in his stomach that excited him, the thrill of doing something forbidden.

He was disappointed I didn’t like it. “What were you thinking?” I asked him. “I don’t think,” he insisted. “I feel.”

“I open doors, I close doors,” he wrote. He loved no one, he loved everyone. He loved sex, he hated sex. Life is a lie, truth is a lie. His thoughts ended with a healing wound.

Where does it all lead? What will become of us? These were our young questions, and young answers were revealed. It leads to each other. We become ourselves.

Both of us had given ourselves to others. We vacillated and lost everyone, but we had found one another again. We wanted, it seemed, what we already had, a lover and a friend to create with, side by side. To be loyal, yet be free.

“Nobody sees as we do, Patti,” he said again. Whenever he said things like that, for a magical space of time, it was if we were the only two people in the world.

Perhaps it was an awareness of time passing, the last summer of the decade. Sometimes I just wanted to raise my hands and stop. But stop what? Maybe just growing

Both of them were ahead of their time, but they didn’t live long enough to see the time they were ahead of. “Pioneers without a frontier,” as Andy Warhol would say.

Who can know the heart of youth but youth itself?

he quoted Mallarmé to me: “Poets don’t finish poems, they abandon them,”

Someone at Max’s asked me if I was androgynous. I asked what that meant. “You know, like Mick Jagger.” I figured that must be cool. I thought the word meant both beautiful and ugly at the same time. Whatever it meant, with just a haircut, I miraculously turned androgynous overnight.

He could take her or leave her / And he took her and then he left her.

Afterward he asked me if I had any money. “No,” I said, and he pretended to be mad. But I knew Harry. He just wanted to diffuse the intimacy of the moment. Whenever you had a beautiful moment with Harry he just had to turn it upside down.

I wondered if I was doing the right work. Was it all frivolity? It was the nagging sense of guilt I experienced performing on the night the Kent State students were shot. I wanted to be an artist but I wanted my work to matter.

Death comes sweeping down the hallway in a lady’s dress Death comes riding up the highway in its Sunday best Death comes I can’t do nothing Death goes there must be something that remains A fire of unknown origin took my baby away

It seemed being an actor was like being a soldier: you had to sacrifice yourself to the greater good. You had to believe in the cause. I just couldn’t surrender enough of myself to be an actor.

I was working real hard To show the world what I could do Oh I guess I never dreamed I’d have to World spins some photographs How I love to laugh when the crowd laughs While love slips through A theatre that is full But oh baby When the crowd goes home And I turn in and I realize I’m alone I can’t believe I had to sacrifice you

I would go as far as I could and hit a wall, my own imagined limitations. And then I met a fellow who gave me his secret, and it was pretty simple. When you hit a wall, just kick it in.

Some of us are born rebellious. Reading the story of Zelda Fitzgerald by Nancy Milford, I identified with her mutinous spirit. I remember passing shopwindows with my mother and asking why people didn’t just kick them in. She explained that there were unspoken rules of social behavior, and that’s the way we coexist as people. I felt instantly confined by the notion that we are born into a world where everything was mapped out by those before us. I struggled to suppress destructive impulses and worked instead on creative ones. Still, the small rule-hating self within me did not die.

“I can’t do this,” I said. “I don’t know what to say.” “Say anything,” he said. “You can’t make a mistake when you improvise.” “What if I mess it up? What if I screw up the rhythm?” “You can’t,” he said. “It’s like drumming. If you miss a beat, you create another.” In this simple exchange, Sam taught me the secret of improvisation, one that I have accessed my whole life.

I believed he would once again embrace the knowledge that there is no pure evil, nor pure good, only purity.

As Rimbaud said, “New scenery, new noise.”

I learned from him that often contradiction is the clearest way to truth.

We went our separate ways, but within walking distance of one another.

My shirt was a bit rumpled, but so was I.

and as I struck the note, I spoke the line: “Jesus died for somebody’s sins but not mine.” I had written the line some years before as a declaration of existence, as a vow to take responsibility for my own actions. Christ was a man worthy to rebel against, for he was rebellion itself.

And as I toured the world I had time to reflect that Robert and I had never traveled together. We never saw beyond New York save in books and never sat in an airplane holding each other’s hand to ascend into a new sky and descend onto a new earth. Yet Robert and I had explored the frontier of our work and created space for each other. When I walked on the stages of the world without him I would close my eyes and picture him taking off his leather jacket, entering with me the infinite land of a thousand dances.

I was due at the studio when Robert called in great distress to tell me that Andy Warhol was dead. “He wasn’t supposed to die,” he cried out, somewhat desperately, petulantly, like a spoiled child. But I could hear other thoughts racing between us. Neither are you. Neither am I. We didn’t say anything. We hung up reluctantly.

Suddenly he looked up and said, “Patti, did art get us?” I looked away, not really wanting to think about it. “I don’t know, Robert. I don’t know.” Perhaps it did, but no one could regret that. Only a fool would regret being had by art; or a saint.

The other afternoon, when you fell asleep on my shoulder, I drifted off, too. But before I did, it occurred to me looking around at all of your things and your work and going through years of work in my mind, that of all your work, you are still your most beautiful. The most beautiful work of all.

So my last image was as the first. A sleeping youth cloaked in light, who opened his eyes with a smile of recognition for someone who had never been a stranger.

#just kids #patti smith #art #quotes #books

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evak-fic-rec-turtleanon · 5 years ago

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Evak Fics - Soulmates AU

The Soulmates au list. Plus an extra Jokael fic. WIPs are at the end. Under a read more:

***** SOULMATES *****

We can be soulmates by sleepinggiant (SERIES, 2 fics) - After you meet your soulmate, marks that appear on their skin appear on your skin too.

Life is a beautiful thing by skampanda (524 words) - They didn't just survive through life, they lived it. They had so much passion and excitement in their lives. They had each other.

in every universe by queerness (632 words) - The first time your soulmate touches you, a handprint stays there for the rest of your life

Handsome Mystery Boy by waitineedaname (1.3k words) - You need to know your soulmate's name before it can appear on your arm. Coffee shop au.

New Year's Minute by killercatchy (1.5k words) - Alternate universe where you have a timestamp of when you’ll meet your soulmate. The first minute of every year, you spend in your soulmates body.

Show me your true colors by NikiNixie (1.5k words) - A soulmate AU where you have a black stain where your soulmate is supposed to touch you for the first time and it turns into millions of colors once they do.

du er ikke alene by TheGhostOfMe (1.9k words) - soulmate tattoo

you've been scared of love (and what it did to you) by voidskam (1.9k words) - you're born with a specific eye color, but when you meet your soulmate, both your eyes change into a beautiful color that show you have found your soulmate.

In another life, my dear, by HeartbeatsAreMySymphony (2k words) - countdown to when you meet your soulmate appear on your wrist. a twist on the soulmate trope. warning: it's pretty angsty.

spend more time with you by hippopotamus (2.1k words) - isak accidentally freezes time trying to prove even wrong about his ability to reverse it.

seen it all in paper dreams by hippopotamus (2.2k words) - soulmate au where your world turns colourful when you hear your soulmate's voice

When I Kiss Your Soul by jinglebin (2.5k words) - Even's soulmate wasn't who he had expected or hoped it would be. Your soulmate's name appears on your wrist when you think of them. Enemies to lovers.

In This Universe and the Next by bettertoflee (2.5k words) - For the longest time, Isak avoided looking at the name that appeared on his underarm

Real Eyes by SuddenTempest (2.9k words) - au where your right eye is your own natural eye colour but your left is the colour of your soulmate's. It is only once that you meet and recognize your own eye staring back at you that your eyes change to match.

keeping me close to you by alotofphandoms (2.9k words) - Isak and Even are soulmates with shared skin. Any mark made on them shows up on the other.

something lonesome, something so wholesome by hippopotamus (3.2k words) - au where there's a tattoo on your skin that can move around, and when you find your soulmate it can move onto them too. They are animal tattoos!

the threads that bind us by everythingislove (straykid) (3.3k words) - The silver thread appears on his third birthday, tied perfectly around his wrist. He doesn’t remember much about the moment apart from his mother’s tears, and the way his father’s eyes screamed ‘disappointment.’

Of Ocean and Sky by RamblingWithFantasy (3.5k words) - An ancient legend says that the islanders will find their soulmates for the first time on the way back home, someday.

the red thread by thekardemomme (3.5k words) - every time you lie to your soulmate it shows up on their skin. 5+1 things

The clock is ticking by writtenpeach (3.6k words) - A story about how Isak fell into the arms of his soulmate. Countdown to meeting your soulmate.

The Worst Soulmate by kaleidxscope (4.1k words) - Tattoo of the first words you hear from your soulmate. Unfortunately for Isak, his soulmate spoils Star Wars for him.

do right by you by puddingandpie (4.6k words) - an au where you swap bodies with your soulmate

Some of it is transcendental, some of it is just really dumb by r0nj4 (4.9k words) - It’s a place he’s been before, except he knows that it’s not. It’s a rush of endorphins and electricity and bright lights. “Do you think it’s happening?” Jonas asks.

(oh damn) never seen that colour blue by colazitron (4.9k words) - Isak has soulmarks. Lots of them. They are like freckles and they glow.

Shall I Find No Other by ultimatelawrence (5.4k words) - Everyone is born with a compass on their body, inked into their skin and commonly on their inner left arm. Instead of pointing to north, the needle on the compass points in the direction of your true soulmate.

The Imaginative Friend Syndrome by wyoheartsmusic (5.6k words) - Five times Isak and Even communicate in their heads and one time they communicate in person

i always knew by GayaIsANerd (5.7k words) - au where you get dreams of what your soulmate is experiencing.

let's not waste it feeling wrong by prettyisak (6.9k words) - Instead of your soulmate's first words to you written on your skin, it's the last words you ever hear them say, so you don't know who your soulmate is until you lose them. Warning: Angsty. Please read the tags.

flickered in my mind for only you by shadeandadidas (8.2k words) - But even the lonely nights hearing his mom cry for his dad couldn’t stop Isak from tracing the words (looped, like maybe his soul mate was an artist or a writer) etched permanently onto his skin.

Is This Our Time? by Evakkk (9.9k words) - This is a world where everyone is born with an indistinguishable soulmate mark... it only changes into something recognizable, once you have physical contact with your soulmate, and it's always something meaningful to the relationship. Both partners will bear the same mark. Isak is about to turn 18... and he's the only one in his friend group who still hasn't found their soulmate. But what happens when he goes out one night, gets drunk... and wakes up with his soulmate mark?

undisclosed desires in your heart by owilde (10k words) - It would be just a massive joke if Isak somehow ended up having a soulmate. He doesn't even want one, not really. It's silly. If Isak wants to date someone, he can find a girlfriend on his own, thank you very much.

our souls aren't strangers by everythingislove (straykid) (10k words) - The six times Isak and Even can't get it together, and the one time they already are. Or a childhood friends and soulmates au

Isak and Even: everything at once by imissedyourskin (10k words) - “yes. I used to see in black and white. Your dad used to see in colour. And then we met each other and we saw everything at once. It made me see colour and made your dad see black and white. That is what happens when you meet your soulmate.”

A Winter Dream by flyingonthewind (11k words) - Set in a world where soulmates are found by the touch of skin, Isak navigates life alone. At least he did until some drunk guy spilled beer all over him on the tram.

Love Is The Drug For Me by mccolfer (12k words) - The soulmate mark system is one that is full of flaws and uncertainty. Sure, most of the time you and your soulmate had each other's names and you'd meet and fall in love and be together forever. But sometimes the marks aren't mutual. Sometimes the name on your wrist is so common that you don't know who your soulmate is. Sometimes you don't fall in love with your soulmate, rather they're just your best friend. It's not always as clear cut as it's supposed to be.

In this universe, in different times. by Bewa (12.9k words) - When two souls are separated by the Big Bang, they will forever search for the other until they finally are reunited.

Taraxacum by GayaIsANerd (15k words) - Isak would never say this out loud, but he’s a hopeless romantic. His mother told him stories about the soulbond, how everyone was born with a symbol somewhere on their bodies, linking them to someone else, somewhere in the universe. These symbols were a representation of the soulmates’ souls.

Lost & bound by hjertetssunnegalskap (Crazyheart) (16k words) - Even has been in a bicycle accident and he has lost his memory of the past three years. However, Isak gets a shock when Even tells him that they’re bonded soulmates, and expects them to be a couple.

Trollbundet/Spellbound by Crazyheart (16k words) - A summer fling soulmate AU. Isak has graduated from Nissen and he’s attending Trolsk (Enchanting), an alternative Fair/music festival with his friends. When he meets a guy called Even, they bond. However, Even is reluctant about bonding. Is a summer fling all they will have?

Not the End by nofeartina (16k words) - Sometimes a connection is so powerful that it can bend the fabric of space and time. Or the parallel universe AU where Isak and Even find each other over and over again.

Making shades of purple by rumpelsnorcack (22k words) - The soulmark changes based on the soulmate's emotions. When their left hands touch, the soulmate bond connects.

beautiful people will ruin your life by traumatic (22k words) - au where two people can communicate solely by writing on their skin, Isak and Even are the best of friends until a lie burrows its way between them and nearly rips them apart.

Somewhere A Clock Is Ticking by staylucky (25k words) - The Afterlife is not what Isak Valtersen was expecting. He didn’t think he’d die at 18 years old in the first place. Purgatory’s ‘Apprentice Leader’, Eskild, is a wildcard, Isak's 'Angel Mentor' Noora doesn’t like Isak and he never got to even a kiss boy while he was on Earth. Thank Goodness, while he waits for reincarnation, for Jonas (another’s mentor) who takes Isak under his (literal) wing but most of all for fellow spirit and member of ‘Limbo Land’ Even Bech Naesheim, a beautiful boy with a past of his own. All isn’t what it seems, and Isak has a lot to discover.

Bittersweet Markings by BreeTaylor (26k words) - Isak's soulmate wanted nothing to do with him. Their skin was a shared canvas, but his soulmate seemed to hate every word Isak wrote. Isak's soulmate had a habit of drawing butterflies on his forearms. Isak never really understood what it meant, but when Vilde started showing up to school with them, too, he didn't waste any time in finding out.

You Make My Heart Soar by missmarymakeup93 (32k words) - Soulmates have basically become extinct. But one chance encounter has Isak in a mess of emotions. Especially when magical marks start appearing on his body.

Just your average ordinary everyday Superhero by vorfm95 (34k words) - Isak works for the governament fixing the chaos caused by the Yeti a young superhero who protects the streets of Oslo. The last words he'll hear from his soulmate is engraved on his arm.

we can take the long way home by Treehouse (37k words) - When he gently puts his hand on the right side of his stomach, the skin is burning hot and feels rugged underneath his fingertips, and when he lifts the cover to look he sees a dark patch there, about the size of his palm. He freezes, has to close his eyes for a moment. Surely, it can’t be, not this soon? But when he looks again, he’s sure. He’s gotten a mark. He’s only been eighteen for about a month, haven’t even had the time to start worrying about it yet.

Colours Speak Louder Than Words by BreeTaylor (39k words) - (9/10 chapters posted) "Colour changes the way we see the world, Isak." Everybody sees the world in greyscale until they meet their soulmate.

For His Love to Flee by wyoheartsmusic (48k words) - in a world where vampires hide, two lost souls find each other. enemies to lovers

(2017/18) tender (is the night) by towonderland72 (kittpurrson) (49k words) - Reuploaded in 2020. His whole body aches, like he’s regrown his limbs overnight, stretched out muscles he never knew he had. Isak knows, in that moment, that his life has just been turned upside down. “You bonded,” Even’s girlfriend confirms, and the pity in her eyes doesn’t go unnoticed. “Try not to move.” The one where Isak and Even accidentally soulbond.

Lost to the Sea by Flatfootmonster (73k words) - Isak doesn't yet know who he is, or who he even want's to be. Even is indebted to the land and living in human form, despite his very nature demanding he return to the sea. Both beings crave belonging and a need to be seen, if only by one other set of eyes.

Burning For Your Touch by cuteandtwisted (221k words) - (16/17 chapters posted) Isak's skin burns anyone that comes into contact with it and therefore cannot be touched. Closed off and extremely manipulative, Isak transfers to Bakka and scares everyone away with his condition. Everyone but Even.

*** BONUS JOKAEL *** because it's cute

Seeing Color by waitineedaname (3.3k words) - He didn't ever expect he'd meet his soulmate in the middle of a fist-fight.

******** WIPs ********

Everything has changed but your eyes by onlydeadsoulscantdance (posted in Feb 2019)

twin reflections of kindred spirits by devonthemenace (last update May 2017)

Hold On (If Love Is The Answer) by silkeborgriver (posted in April 2019)

It Was Always Supposed to Happen Like This by Darwig3 (last update Jan 2017)

Living With the Uncertainty by kitsunechikyu (last update on June 2017)

The saddest people smile the brightest by vorfm95 (last update in Feb 2019)

Sitting, Waiting, Wishing by i_once_wrote_a_dream (last update in May 2019)

Princes and Stars by CrochetingWords (last update in Oct 2018)

cut off my fingers to touch your smile by bbyfruit (last update in Sept 2018)

These Mountains To Move by verlore_poplap (orphan_account) (last update in Oct 2017)

this world was built for two by twentyonedani (last update in May 2019)

Crystal Dust by Liolny (last update in Feb 2019)

#evak fic rec #skam fic rec #soulmates au

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stylinsonlibrary · 7 years ago

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HISTORICAL AU FIC REC

50+ fics set in the past

A Word We've Only Heard (6k)

So, where are you headed?” Liam asked, not wanting to sit in awkward silence for their journey. It was twelve hours to Chicago, and that was far too long to sit and not chat with his fellow passenger in front of him.

“Chicago,” he answered, his blue eyes meeting Liam’s own. “It’s home. Been on the road for quite some time now, it’s the first time I’ll be able to sleep in my own bed in almost a month.”

Liam whistled. “You must be pretty excited.”

The man gave a soft smile, which made him look younger than Liam initially expected; he might even still be in his twenties. He wondered what kind of a life this man had led to look so tired until he smiled.

Or, it's 1951, Harry is the owner of a music shop, and Louis is a traveling salesman making his way back home.

I'm Ready to Fall, Love (9k)

Louis doesn't like Harry, except for the fact that he really does.

(Basically: A royal AU with Prince Harry and Stable Boy Louis.)

One Day You'll Say These Words (11k)

Growing up together in Yorkshire has led to a lifelong friendship between Louis Tomlinson, the future Marquess of Rotherham, and Harry Styles, the heir to a viscount. When Harry suddenly inherits his uncle’s title and estate much earlier than expected, Louis must watch his friend struggle under the weight of these new responsibilities, including searching for a wife with a dowry large enough to save his estate. However, sitting idly by as Harry looks for a bride brings some unexpected feelings to the surface.

A friends to lovers story set in the Regency era.

feel my heart beating (12k)

‘90s AU where Louis’ addicted to matchmaking and Harry’s just playing along.

lead me out on the moonlit floor (12k)

In all honesty, Harry was long forgotten, cast aside by a dimpled stranger and too much champagne. He was almost glad, now, that Harry hadn’t come, because he wouldn’t have met this stranger, this tall man who could make his heart flutter with a single glance.

Victorian!AU where Louis is a wealthy lord throwing a masquerade ball for his birthday and Harry is a toymaker who's only confident when he's wearing a mask.

Autumn at Fairbridge Hall (14k)

It is October 1817. Mr. Louis Tomlinson hosts an Autumn Ball and a Fox Hunting Party at his estate Fairbridge Hall, with the intention of finding suitable husbands for his younger sisters.

A Regency AU where Louis does not want to deal with marriage proposals, a stubborn sister and unwelcome guests. The only things he really wants is peace and quiet and..., the handsome Mr. Styles.

To Honor (14k)

Commander Styles leads his men to victory, but at what cost?

Manifest Destiny (15k)

Harry and Louis had fallen into bed together again that night, mouths greedy and hands needy. And now every time Louis stops at Fort Kearney, even if it’s weeks in between, he and Harry spend the night together. The nights are always filled with heat and passion, and it gives Louis something to think on fondly as he rides across the western territories carrying sacks of mail.

They’ve never talked about it, and they’ve never kissed. Louis doesn’t know if he wants either of those things to change, but he knows that his presence in Harry’s life is sporadic at best. Probably best to leave things be.

Or, Louis is a Pony Express rider and Harry runs a station along the trail.

Howls Like A Beast (You Flower, You Feast) (16k)

“You don’t love me,” Louis had said, utterly blasé as he callously fractured the heart of a Harry that was just barely eighteen.

“I do,” Harry had insisted pleadingly, green eyes already watering.

Louis had rolled his eyes, exasperated and flippant in the way only beautiful, young boys could be when faced with the affections of a baby prince. He had run his finger down Harry’s cheek then, had forced him to look into his eyes as he delivered the final blow.

“You’ll change your mind once you’ve seen more of the world,” Louis had teased, pressing a brutally delicate kiss onto Harry’s lovely, pure cheek. “Once you’ve been properly defiled.” He had whispered filthily, delighted by the gasp he heard, the frantic pink blush that had rested high on Harry’s cheeks, the power he had felt at knowing he could make the Crown Prince squirm.

Break Me Down, Build Me Up (16k)

America, as it’s been told, is the world of riches. Men and women alike can come to the land of the free and achieve the American dream, regardless of their background. He wanted nothing more than to create a better life for his sisters, for himself, and perhaps for his future. Harry Styles was never a part of the plan.

[or: Louis moves his family to America to try and find a better life. Harry finds him instead.]

The Man I Love (17k)

It's the Roaring Twenties, a time of blissful prosperity, overflowing champagne flutes, adrenaline-filled dancing, and the rise of the Jazz Age—and Louis Tomlinson absolutely abhors it all. A stickler for modest classics, jazz is the bane of Louis' existence.

Coincidentally, Harry Styles is the bass player for an underground jazz band.

Or The 1920s AU where Louis is a hardworking, no nonsense paralegal, Harry is in love with the greatest city on earth, Zayn is the enigmatic leader of the band, Niall's just there to make sure everyone's having a good time, and Liam is the barber who started it all.

The People's Playground (17k)

It is 1900 in New York City, and Harry Styles has recently immigrated to America from England. His sister encourages him to take a day off from his life as a factory worker and Harry decides to take a trip to the infamous Coney Island where he literally runs into Louis Tomlinson. It looks like Coney Island will be more than Harry bargained for.

Auf Wiedersehen, Sweetheart (19k)

Louis and Harry had been childhood best friends, but had been separated by evacuation as the city they grew up in was destroyed around them. Now, twelve years later, they are both back in London, and through chance they meet again. In a time when you can't admit to being gay, for fear of arrest, admitting to your best friend that you love them seems like an insurmountable obstacle.

Featuring boxer Harry and mechanic Louis, much pining, and a lot of post war Britain

No One Like You (19k)

Dear Niall,

I was glad to have the chance to talk with you again at the AHA conference. Your idea that the Musee D’Orsay Tomlinson painting is in fact not a self-portrait is an intriguing one, and I may have discovered something that will have a bearing on that theory.

Some background: as you may remember, I’ve been researching for a book I’m writing about Harry Styles. I’ve been in communication with Styles’ last living descendant, who is in possession of a trunk that her family believed to have belonged to Styles himself. It held some personal items she presumes to be his, including two unmounted paintings and a small collection of letters.

Upon spending the last few days in Provins studying these items, I believe there to be a connection between Tomlinson and Styles, and I would very much like your opinion.

Are you up for a trip to France?

Sincerely, Liam Payne

Where Liam and Niall are art historians discovering the truth about two nineteenth century painters on opposite sides of an artistic divide.

Dance Like Warriors On A Battlefield (20k)

Down in the arena, the triumphant gladiator places his foot on the back of the loser, holding him there as he waits for instruction on his next move. Kill or let live. It’s barbaric, really, the bloodlust involved in this sport. Louis is pretty sure that if it wasn’t for his distaste for the killing there would be a lot more blood soaking that sand.

As it is, his father rarely gives the kill order anymore. He gives the order to let the loser live. Louis rolls his eyes, turning away. He doesn’t miss the way the gladiator’s eyes linger on him.

threadbare (20k)

Harry Styles was eight years old when Louis Tomlinson kept him from falling into a machine in a Manchester textile mill.

He was 18 years old when nothing, not even the threat of death, could keep Harry from falling in love with Louis.

Un Verso Que Hiciste De Mi (20k)

Harry froze as he looked up to his handler’s face. He found himself staring at the most beautiful twin pools of blue he’d ever see, and had to take a second to breathe before he remembered what to say.

“Please, don’t kill my friend,” he whispered.

Louis looked over at the red headed man. “You are to go back to your manor, and tell his family he will only be brought back if my ransom is met.”

or a Scottish Borderlands AU where Louis is a laird that kidnaps his rival’s betrothed, and Harry just happens to be that betrothed.

Damn the Dark, Damn the Light (20k)

“Why is this face of beauty ringing so true?” The genuine confusion in Harry’s voice causes Louis’ chest to painfully twinge. “You’re a complete stranger in my eyes, William Shakespeare, but not in my heart. How is that possible?”

Louis wants to live out every romance plot he has ever written in his own life. He wants to be the protagonist of his own narrative, the hero who finds true love and gets his happy ending. Instead, Louis is stuck with only dreaming of such wild fantasies and writing them down. He can create entire romances in his dreams, yet he can never live one.

let it shine under the morning star (22k)

It's the summer of 1891, and Bruges has significantly more angry swans and accidental Irish revolutionaries than Harry was anticipating being faced with on his summer holiday.

the dead things we carry (25k)

September ‘49

He hasn’t seen him since that day in France, that horrible muddy day where for one terrifyingly long second, Louis really thought he was going to die. He winces with the phantom pain, the hand not holding his cane going to his stomach automatically, remembering the franticness, the tenderness, of Harry’s hands while Louis was bleeding out.

This is the man who saved Louis’ life.

For one second, Louis fears Harry won’t recognise him, but his eyes widen when he turns to his left and they meet Louis’. He takes a step forward, reaching for him with a shaky hand before stopping himself.

“Louis,’ Harry says with a shudder and Louis doesn’t think his name has ever carried more weight.

This is the only man Louis ever thought about kissing for real.

“Oh,” Mrs. Padley says, clearly taken aback. “You two know each other?”

There are some things people never fully come home from. Until, one day, if they’re lucky, home comes to them.

Is it too much to ask for something great? (26k)

It is the dawn of the sixties and the whole sexual revolution may as well never happened since Harry still has to muffle his groans in the pillow when he fucks. God forbid neighbours would caught on. But maybe he wants to scream, maybe he wants his moans to carry through the wall and maybe he even likes to think that they would irk the person there somehow, but no. No such thing happens with Louis, because apparently he is the only person on the planet who doesn't care who you fuck. Being a fag in Greenwich Village is great, lots of fun, being a fag who is in love with his painfully straight best friend Louis? Torture. He should just let the whole thing go. Louis doesn't care for his moans, he produces a lot of them on his own, and those on the other hand haunt Harry's dream, and he's pretty sure that ten days on the road with Louis and Louis alone is actually going to kill him.

And he doesn't even like Beach Boys.

Box of Rain (26k)

that in his free time informally works as a ring boy. Somehow he manages to always get tangled on the ropes and at the same time charm the pants off of all the fighters and patrons. They meet in Manchester in 1977 and, even though they don't seem to have much in common, they... Well, they just sort of click, really.

The one with a friendship ruiner game of Monopoly, Harry always ending up in jail for wanting to save the world, Louis face to face with his archenemy and way too many references to 70s music.

Also staring Zayn as a brooding anarchist punk rocker, Liam as the nerdiest and nicest boxer in all Britain and Niall as a bookmarker that can easily convince people to bet fortunes, but can't make his friends realise their mutual crush on each other.

autumn leaves (27k)

“Brave?” Harry frowns, caught off guard. “No, not particularly.”

“You seem brave,” Louis decides, pushing off the wall and stepping on the butt of his cigarette. “You are strong, and you are not mean. That’s good,” he assures, touching Harry’s arm gently.

“Thank you, but that’s not true,” Harry smiles ruefully. “I’m really not anything special.”

Or, Harry is an American soldier in France during World War II, and Louis is a French waiter that doesn't mean to fall in love with him.

What Happened to 'Never Say Die'? (28k)

The 80s were one of the best decades to be a teenager in America. Just ask anyone who's seen a John Hughes movie. Louis would beg to differ. At least today he would, while he was stuck cleaning out his family's basement - part of his grounding after a senior prank gone wrong. But when he finds a box containing details of the biggest unsolved crime in Luna Hills, he and his friends decide to sneak out for one last adventure before they're all off to college. That is, as long as the mayor, who also happens to be Louis' mother, doesn't stop them before they discover the truth.

Or, a coming of age American AU inspired by classic 80s movies like The Goonies and Stand By Me where everyone has a secret and no one wants to get caught.

the beginning of everything (30k)

“How do you take it?” Harry asked, pouring tea into a cup.

“Just a dash of milk, please,” Louis cast a look over the small table, filled to capacity. “They’re very fond of you.”

Harry ducked his head, grinning. “They’re trying to impress you.”

Louis smiled, shaking his head. “Why would they want to do that?” he asked as he took the cup Harry passed to him, their fingers brushing for an instant.

“Empathy,” Harry said under his breath.

A Belle Époque AU set (mostly) in Paris in which Harry is a struggling artist, in more ways than one, and Louis is a successful theatre critic and a failed writer, more or less.

Our Stable Heart (30k)

Louis Tomlinson had it all. A beautiful mansion in the country-side of London, a well known job in the heart of downtown, and a lovely fiance he would soon marry...

But what happens when Louis' world is turned upside down just from gazing into a pair of dreamy, green eyes?

Something Louis could never have imagined himself...

i could marry that smile you're wearing (34k)

Louis is lost in his thoughts. Harry has found his new purpose in life. Both meet very unexpectedly and it is all full of cliches you can expect.

Ancient Greece AU - Louis as a member of aristocracy and Harry as a common slave.

what this world is about (34k)

An eighties American high school AU; there are first times, football games, and feelings.

Gem and the Hunters: The Treasure of Babylon (34k)

Louis Tomlinson wished, for one thing, his whole life: to find the ancient city of Babylon. After one failed attempt, he swore to never again attempt a search for the city. His friend, Niall Horan never pushed the issue, but when his family finds themselves in trouble, Niall’s only option is to convince Louis to try and find Babylon again.

Niall enlists the help of two famous treasure hunters: Harry and Gemma Styles and their friend Liam Payne. Harry and Gemma love ancient cultures as much as Louis and would give anything to find Babylon. Liam is just along for the ride, running from a shade in his past.

The five embark on the adventure of a lifetime… and find much more than any of them bargained for.

The Boy with the Red Scarf (35k)

It’s 1925 and Harry has left his small home to chase after his father’s footsteps. He wants to be a movie star, make money to keep his family comfortable just like his mother had told him his father had. But when he makes it to Chicago, he finds that people aren’t what they seem. The parties are grand, the women charming, and the money rolls. What he doesn’t understand is that behind that beautiful mask of a city there is something lurking in the shadows.

Starring Harry as a struggling actor and Louis as Al Capone.

If we meet sometime in the after years, my darling, I trust I will find your love still mine. (38k)

1970s AU.

The boy at the dinner table isn’t as much of a stranger as Louis thought, and somewhere between the diners, concerts, and the way the moonlight falls just right, the summer is enough time for realizing just that.

Felt the blood rushing through my veins, I still remember (42k)

Harry is the heir to his father's estate and wealth and he knows he is the most eligible bachelor in all of England. Louis is the stable boy who everyone loves and adores even though he can be a touch too bitter sometimes. They can't stand each other, and the pride of one and the prejudice of the other disallows any other feelings they might have.

Coeur du soleil (48k)

After assuming the throne when the Cardinal dies, Louis becomes King of France in 1661. He thinks he has everything under control and is determined to prove himself the leader he knows France needs, but his plans are quickly thrown aside once he meets a curly haired English Ambassador.

Harry's only job was to observe the King, and he ends up observing a little closer than expected. Featuring Captain Payne of the Royal Musketeers, Ambassador Malik from the Ottoman Empire, and Lord Horan from Ireland.

We're What's Right In This World (48k)

“Why did you talk like that in Brighton? If you weren’t planning on ever telling me?” Louis asked. “Is it because you think you’re going to die?”

“It’s war, Lou,” Harry said finally.

The words were a knife slipped between his ribs. Everything hurt and he was bleeding. He shifted up, his palms cradling Harry’s jaw, his lips against his boy’s. Not kissing, just resting there, so Louis could feel him. “Promise you’ll come back to me.”

Harry’s hands smoothed down the sides of Louis’ body. “You know I can’t do that. I’ll never lie to you.”

“Promise me. We’re going to have our cottage. And our dogs. And our breakfast in the garden where nothing grows because of the wind from the sea. Promise me.”

“I won’t.” Stubborn as always, his boy. “I’ll promise you, I’ll love you all my life. I’ll promise you, you’ll never leave my thoughts. I’ll promise you, you’re my forever and my always. But promising you something I can’t cheapens the things I can.” Or the World War II AU where Harry goes off to fight and all Louis wants to do is be the boy who brings him home.

the last person on earth i could ever marry (50k)

A Pride and Prejudice AU, where Harry is fed up with rich men and Mr Tomlinson is a very rich man.

For the Sake of Propriety (52k)

Louis Tomlinson is the caretaker of an estate that is not truly his, and when his Uncle calls upon him to take it back, Louis knows he will soon be out on the streets with four overly zealous sisters to care for. His only solution: wed the eldest two off and pray for the best. When an even better solution unexpectedly presents itself in the form of the charming Mr. Styles, Louis is faced with a difficult choice. But as with all things in the regency era, reputation very well may threaten to outweigh the fleeting matters of his heart.

Back To You And Tennessee (57k)

Louis Tomlinson rises to rock and roll fame at age twenty three and is thrown into a life of luxury and excess, but being on stage isn’t easy for a boy who has always stuck to the side-lines, and Louis struggles to deal with his new fame as he joins the Grand Ole Opry and is sent out on tour with names like Liam Payne and Elvis Presley. His life takes a turn, however, when his childhood role model, Harry Styles, joins them on tour, and the two become closer than two men in the spotlight are allowed to be.

OR, the one where Louis is Johnny Cash and Harry is June Carter

I Hunger For Your Beautiful Embrace (57k)

Legatus Harry is governor of Capua and Dominus of his estate. He governs with a firm and harsh rule and has never been known to be soft. That is until Louis comes into his life. A beautiful slave who creeps into Harry’s house and heart.

But in the times of Ancient Rome, when sex, wars, and death are the entertainment of the times, life and love are rare commodities.

Paint The Sky With Stars (62k)

On 10 April 1912, Harry Styles boards the finest ship the world has ever seen. Still grieving the death of their mother, he and his sister are being sent to America to live with a callous uncle who cares more about his business connections than family. Harry prepares himself for a long, disappointing voyage alone in his stateroom.

Louis Tomlinson has borrowed and saved, and finally has enough to purchase a Third Class ticket to America. With all of his belongings in a single ruck sack, he boards the Titanic filled with hope for a brighter future. Never one to sit still, he can’t resist exploring the massive ship, and soon goes sneaking into First Class in a stolen steward’s uniform.

By a twist of fate, Louis finds himself in Harry’s stateroom, entranced by the most attractive man he’s ever laid eyes on. He keeps returning day after day, even if he doesn’t understand what it is about Harry that continues pulling him in. That’s all right; Louis has a week to figure it out, and Harry is plenty willing to help.

Except they don’t have a week. They have four days. Because on 15 April, their entire world will be turned upside down.

Or, the historically accurate Titanic AU with a happy ending.

Life Had Just Begun (63k)

Stand up. Breathe. Run. Survive.

Back on his knees, Harry can wipe the blood from his eyes and see again, blurred and in slow motion, but he can see. He doesn’t think, he just moves. He gets to his feet, stumbling as his brain goes white in time with the lightning strike.

Run. Run. Run.

It’s 1985. All the cool kids are wearing Members Only jackets and acid wash jeans. The gay rights movement might be gaining traction around the country, but for a small town in Colorado, even listening to Queen is an invitation for a beating. Louis Tomlinson’s life is turned upside down when he comes face to face with the afterlife, and is given one seemingly simple mission: save Harry Styles.

The Art of Being a Gentleman (64k)

Out of all four of the Styles children, Harry has always been the most adored. He is the handsome, intelligent, and oh so charming golden child of the family, the perfect son who will soon be married to the perfect woman, a beauty queen named Victoria Astaire. Despite how loved he is among all who reside in the affluent town of Alton, his siblings absolutely despise him. In order to stain his squeaky-clean reputation and get their traditional, old fashioned parents to despise him as much as they do, they devise a plan that involves Harry’s giving nature, the desperation of a mother and father, and a mischievous boy who doesn’t give a damn about what’s proper.

Such Good Luck (66k)

Louis smiles at Harry’s words, leaning into his touch. “Tell me again.”

Smiling, Harry takes Louis into his arms. Pressing gentle kisses to his face, Harry murmurs, “In six months’ time, I will have my twenty-fifth birthday. On that day, my portion of the inheritance will become legally mine. And I plan that very day to announce to my family that I have found love.” Harry chuckles as he runs his lips lightly along Louis’ cheekbone. “That, in fact, I found love when I was twenty-one years old, and that I have loved and been loved every day since.”

Or, an Edwardian AU where Harry is a young aristocratic lord and Louis is a working class dairy farmer. Secrets are a necessary part of their relationship, but Louis has one that could topple their whole world.

Adore You (66k)

“We invited our new acquaintances from uptown. You’ve simply got to meet their oldest son!” said his mother with a flourish, and suddenly it became abundantly clear as to why his parents had so adamantly demanded he join them in Deansville for the entirety of the summer.

Against his wishes, Harry spends the holidays at his family’s summer estate, and is reluctantly pulled into a courtship he didn’t ask for. Harry doesn’t want to get married, but Louis does. They don’t fit, but then again they really, really do.

Vaguely set in the 1920’s. Headpieces, jazz, fashionable canes, and flapper dresses, and that.

The World Turned Upside Down (71k)

In September 1984, Harry Styles starts at Manchester Polytechnic with two goals: to take pictures and to join the Lesbian and Gay Society. He’s never paid much attention to the news, but everyone he meets in Manchester supports the miners. He realises how right they are when he meets Louis Tomlinson, a striking miner who flirts with him. A month later they are both at the founding meeting of Manchester Lesbians and Gays Support the Miners, trying to bring down the government. Through letters and visits they build a relationship, in a world very much not of their own choosing.

Manchester and Doncaster in the 1980s are grim, hopeful and alive. Niall is president of the Young Labour club, Nick Grimshaw is in love with the singer of an up and coming band, Fizzy wants to know more about the women of Greenham Common and Harry and Louis are brave.

A Lesbians and Gays Support the Miners/Pride AU.

modern love (72k)

It's August 9th, 1985. "Shout" by Tears for Fears is the top song on the Billboard charts, Back to the Future has been the #1 film in the country for five weeks straight, and Harry has just moved to what he believes to be the shittiest town in the Midwest.

Louis has been wasting away in East Chicago for over five years, Harry is the most exciting thing that's ever happened to him, and both of them are hiding a dangerous secret from their best friend: they're, like, totally sprung on each other.

Chasing Empty Spaces (79k)

The year is 1934 and Harry Styles was to inherent the largest tobacco firm in the south. His parents have picked out the “perfect” girl for him to marry and he has the privilege of receiving the highest education possible. The problem was, Harry hadn’t realized he didn’t actually want any part of that future until he met a mechanic named, Louis Tomlinson.

This Feels A Lot Like Love (80k)

Harry didn’t expect for his senior year to be filled with a blue-eyed boy with sharp cheekbones and an even sharper tongue. Then again, he didn’t expect to fall in love either.

Closeted romance, false promises and stolen kisses ensues. Set in the 90’s era.

Victorian Boy (81k)

Victorian AU. Harry the virgin Duke of Somerset knows little of love, while Louis the sly Duke of Warwick knows too much. When the two dukes come together for the Bilsdale fox hunt in York, Harry finds himself drawn into Louis' bed. But when secrets from Louis' dark past come to light, Harry fears that the fox isn't the only one being hunted.

Atlas At Last (83k)

He doesn’t know what he had been expecting out of the road trip itself besides burping contests and too much shitty gas station food with Oli and Stan, but in the brief moment before Harry ambles up his driveway, Louis idly wonders if this is about to become some sort of Gay Coming of Age story.

Maine to California in ten days. In which Zayn’s an open-shirt hippie they meet somewhere in Ohio, Liam’s the pastor’s son running away from home, and Niall’s the number they call on the bathroom wall.

It’s 1978. Harry and Louis are just trying to get to San Fran in time for the Queen concert.

And down the long and silent street (86k)

The year is 1881 and if you’re alone in this world you might as well be dead, because starving dogs have no mercy.

Or: Wherein Louis and Harry are on the opposite ends of the social ladder, but their paths still cross on the filthy streets Louis calls his home. The odds are staked against them from the beginning, and even more when Louis' past finally catches up with him.

Coax the Cold (86k)

England, 1897.

English Professor Louis Tomlinson’s passion for the occult has been a source of mockery and derision for most of his life. When he hears whispers of a travelling freak show newly established in London claiming the existence of a monstrous sea hybrid, half-man, half-fish, Louis sees it as his ticket to credibility amongst his peers. The summer he spends undercover working on the show, however, gives him much more than that.

Here In The Afterglow (88k)

“If you hadn’t noticed, I don’t have many friends,” Louis whispers, the blossom of insecurity in his stomach unfurling and clawing its way into his throat.

Harry is silent for a long time, and then he speaks; a soft, slow uncurl that makes Louis’ stomach shake. “I’ll be your friend.”

1970’s AU. In a tiny town in Idaho, Louis’ life is changed forever by the arrival of a curious stranger.

Resist Everything Except Temptation (100k)

The lethargic sound of heels clicking against wood resonated across the sea. Footsteps descended the staircase, every assured step creating a menacing aura as it grew closer. Perspiration gathered along Louis’ palms as the rhythmic sound halted in front of him.

“Captain,” Malik greeted.

Louis watched out of his peripheral as Malik’s boots shuffled back a few steps. Sweat matted the hair along the nape of Louis’ neck as he waited for something to happen. He felt as if a sharp blade was twisting his gut as the silence became tangible. There was a metallic slide of a sword being pulled out of its sheath, the sound startling Louis out of his cocoon of sterile shock. His shoulders jumped as the tip of a blade flattened underneath his jaw. Louis’ distorted reflection stared back at him in the polished metal. Engraved rose petals twisted his appearance as they crawled up the length of the sword. The sword lifted and took Louis’ chin with it.

Standing in front of Louis was Captain Styles.

OR The one where Louis is the commodore's son who is forced to become a part of Harry's crew when he is captured.

Butterfly Gun (100k)

Harry has never been much of a fighter, but—as always—where Louis Tomlinson is concerned, a lot of things stop being true.

1940's AU. Even after six years apart, they can't forget their shared wartime childhood.

Through Eerie Chaos (102k)

For as long as anyone can remember, Old Hillsbridge Manor has always been believed to be haunted. Everyone in the village agrees and keeps a respectful, fearful, distance. New in town after a bad breakup and an internship that led to disappointment rather than a permanent job, Harry Styles figures taking pictures of the decrepit building could be a great new creative project. Or at least a much-needed distraction while he searches for a job and crashes at his parents’ new house. No one warned him about the apparitions though; about the music, the laughter, the people who flicker and vanish when you call after them, the echoes of a past that should be long gone… Harry has never believed in spirits but even he can admit that there’s something weird going on. What starts as mere curiosity evolves into a full-blown investigation and soon enough, Harry finds himself making friends with an aristocrat from the 1920s and struggling with finding the best way to tell him that he’s dead.

The Ghost Hunter AU where Niall lives to prove ghosts are real, Zayn is a skeptical librarian and Harry gets caught up in a century-old mystery and catches feeling in the process.

Landslide (143k)

The year is 1976. In November, Jimmy Carter will take control of the White House. Americans are meeting Laverne & Shirley at their apartment in Milwaukee. Hotel California diverges from the reign of Kool & the Gang. And the FBI is still reeling from the repercussions of Watergate, the tragedy at Wounded Knee, Operation Family Secrets, and the strategic terrors of the anti-cult movement.

That's what Special Agent Harry Styles has been told is the basis of his mission to an abandoned farmhouse in rural New Hampshire.

With his hair grown out long and his shirt untucked, he's going undercover to do reconnaissance on suspected cult leader Louis Tomlinson, who has led a group of people out into the middle of nowhere, leaving no record of the life he'd had before. All Harry knows is what the agency gave him: Tomlinson's name, and instructions to figure out what he's doing with the eleven people he brought with him.

In the year that Harry spends undercover and under Louis Tomlinson's wing, he learns more than he ever expected.

Love Endless (series; 3 completed works/1WIP; 696k)

The year is groovy 1973, and eighteen-year-old Louis Tomlinson is perhaps the gayest teen to ever grace the gloomy, hateful town of Fortwright. Would be fine if he wasn't so viciously bullied at both home and school for such a "harmful" sexual preference.

Yeah, yeah, we've all heard this story, haven't we?

Believe him, Louis didn't think he was anything special either.

Until he found the mansion. The notoriously haunted mansion hidden deep within the forests of his tiny blip of a town in Bumfuck Nowhere, Idaho. No one with a brain ever goes near it, but Louis could use a little excitement in his life...and possibly a Band-Aid or two.

After discovering the mansion was less abandoned than he'd thought, he's now left with the most riveting mystery of a lifetime; every new finding leaving him with more questions. Who is this elusive owner, and why won't they show themselves? Why is there a set of journals in the same handwriting that span over centuries? Why in the world is there a padlock on the refrigerator...and who the hell is Alexander?

#larry stylinson #larry fic rec #larry stylinson fic rec #stylinsonlibrary #historical #masterpost

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clitorisesandpoetry · 7 years ago

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DEJA VU RITUAL

YEAR ONE

thrown into a communal theatrical performance.

former sleepy-town lovers sucking amphetamines off each other’s lips, simplifying new york as the place, man. the place where, like, i found freedom. interactive show, my beachtown tan shuffled on the edge. distracted by onyx pigeons, dalmatian-speckled falcons. five mom! i saw five rats huddled together like dormmates.

parade a cacophonous blur, i squinted. a lifetime of buildup -- is it odd to feel inadequate?

sorry, everyone. my voice’s a mosquito stuck in hometown tree sap.

i grew up cozied. birch fences, white as snowdays. brunette snow moats, dirty springs. last summer's memories, dragonflies skimming. silent pining, crickets.

oh. i thought this was it! this was my debut -- my exclusion from suburbia. my first out. truth!

eventually after many bruisey months, more nebula than roommate, i learn to say my name.

oh ya. i get it. why everyone here wants an audience.

for a bit, all of me was all of me. mantra-ing, is this even real? is this existence? (now how am i here again?)

* * *

YEAR TWO

he rode me around a new suburban town pixels no more

please please take me

holy debauchery! i don’t want me

* * *

YEAR THREE

white button-down with a slim effeminate tie, pleated skirt confessing to tawny thighs, falling knee socks and worn pleather black boots. i’m a humble student, slowly learning how to exist. how to not be alone.

i kneeled crescent moons in piss coated sidewalks. begged out, “i’m capable of more than this illness (maybe)” soft, but declarative, whispers, “i love all of you.” less than 7 months later, ambulance croons & blistering ears.

man. to know i can never have a year like that again.

i can never have so much hope & optimism after so much grief. i can never be so ready to trust. so interested in touch. the year i tried to be social. the year i confused being acknowledged with care. a kind of sourhead candy spat from mouth to mouth, til one back-of-the-bus badass choked on that 2:47PM speed bump. bleached white and covered in someone else’s vulnerabilities, fell out of that warm cozy cheek to roll off the bus. i lost my poor meatball when somebody sneezed.

it’s okay. it was, for me, all for the better. & it is still there. a wonderland ready for me to trip into, where i can feel 20 again. (my exes dull suburbia, my exciting 19 narnia)

* * *

YEAR FOUR

slow waltz, but without any grace or precision. we seeped into each other.

lovely blue eyes, brillo cheeks, smug twilight epiphanies. i’ve never been loved before.

he -- a man. an actual man. my enemy -- someone to believe in.

failed orgy logistics, i’m still laughing. a relationship on the backs of our inadequacies.

we talk shop. this city. the altar it never asked to be. fails to be. like all gods, easy to blame and dismantle.

even when i was quite literally - poetry metaphor to its side for a sec! - bleeding, welted, bruised from pink to green, violet to black, no one, none of them, or anyone from the woods, or anyone from the code, ever called me strong & powerful.

daunting ink stains; initial spill bled out & our midnight hands clutch.

* * *

YEAR FIVE

big bad storm pelted.

“the neighbor! their basement was flooded, but ours didn't get one drop.

uncle joey just renovated that basement.”

loss and secondhand smoke. dust and flies and grief. her surgery, her fucking surgery.

somehow, this morose and helpless year is enviable.

god, i had not clue. after the storm, the apocalypse.

* * *

YEAR SIX

my walk-in closet. my mouse-hole. a sanctuary like a womb, blindingly tight, nearly within myself. but with 2 windows, spectating bluejays! cardinals! fellow taco-hungry new england chirps.

walls plastered, as if a bullet went through my head and my subconsciousness, consciousness ricocheted 360 degrees around the space with the hello kitty pink that makes my brain’s slime. vibrator on my sheets, sad journals open on the floor, “mom, dad, i’m not asking permission but give me permission.”

queer refugee finally in asylum!

they say millennials are entitled, but all i wanted was a space of my own. a place without that claustrophobic pretense that we love you,

as long as you behave. be straight and cis and god be normal and please, listen to us, you are vulnerable. remember you are vulnerable.

* * *

YEAR SEVEN

front-teeth stained ashy-black. bitch list, ferocious. is this a bad year or the start of my new life? wheezing self-esteem, breathing machine neither friend nor foe.

eh. we’ve all listened to nirvana, read the glass jar. we’re HUGE fans of despair.

wednesday, toes in sand. thursday, i am not my thoughts. i am not my thoughts.

i am not my unemployment. i am not my thoughts. i am not my insecurities. i am not my failures. i am not my limitations. i am not my problems. i am not my feelings. i am not my net worth. i am not my pinings. i am not my frustrations. i am not my illness. i am not my mother. i am not my family history. i am not my oppressions. i am not my losses. i am not wigge those strings, unlatch those loops, let the material droop. put everything away, at a distance, so they won’t tangle again.

* * *

YEAR EIGHT

a harrowing horror.

a galactic agony.

year eight should be a love poem, like year four. it should be prose that would make her shake. de-mystifying confessions spelt with affection and romances. prose so honest she would be forced to face her importance.

a starling song present-day me croons to her, over and over. and she would rub my nose with her nose, brush my lips with her lips, and feel safe.

it isn't fair, none of it, but year eight isn't about her.

cause, like, my mom.

my mom. my mom. my mom.

first, her wellness. then her mobility and voice. & then all of her.

“i wouldn’t want to live if something happened to one of you kids.”

“there is a hell -- this planet is our personal hell.”

“i’m so happy for you.”

she was a tension in years 1 - 6 and even parts of 7. in years a -q.

but, but, give me those 25 years again. i don’t need to grow. i don’t need to see what’s next. or i don’t care what i need.

the worst of my former days, the hardest most brutal and painful evenings, i was still able to wake up, roll over to my phone, and hear her talk, laugh, even yell. hear her teach me who she is. who i am.

imagine, if i got my wish & relived my life, even if was only a montage of my worst days. that's delightful to me.

i crave, like how the weight of the sun and the moon and the earth keeps us from floating off,

to hear her say my name again.

i’m still waiting for her recovery to progress to the point where she can look at me in the eye and say my name.

* * *

YEAR NINE

i miss when she was as close as eyelashes.

new york, where she was born and raised and married and had me and had her first house. new york, a mausoleum.

* * *

YEAR TEN

WORK IN PROGRESS. empty, slightly crumpled, piece of parchment. if dead moms didn't scorn all other luck, i would be rabbit’s foot.

just don’t die, and fuck, never move! and year ten will be probably be worthy. as will all the rest.

#deja vu ritual #long writing #long post #autobiography #poetry #creative writing #nyc

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dfroza · 5 years ago

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A new covenant of grace

by turning the page... just as a person who chooses to “believe...” in letting go of the past (tense) by welcoming a new heart that is reborn in Light all by a kind act of grace.

the ancient words of Hebrews from chapter 8:

[Our Better Covenant]

Now this is the crowning point of what we are saying: We have a magnificent King-Priest who ministers for us at the right hand of God. He is enthroned with honor next to the throne of the Majesty on high. He serves in the holy sanctuary in the true heavenly tabernacle set up by God, and not by men. Since every high priest is appointed to offer both gifts and sacrifices, so the Messiah also had to bring some sacrifice. But since he didn’t qualify to be an earthly priest, and there are already priests who offer sacrifices prescribed by the law, he offered in heaven a perfect sacrifice.

The priests on earth serve in a temple that is but a copy modeled after the heavenly sanctuary; a shadow of the reality. For when Moses began to construct the tabernacle God warned him and said,

“You must precisely follow the pattern I revealed to you on Mt. Sinai.”

But now Jesus the Messiah has accepted a priestly ministry which far surpasses theirs, since he is the catalyst of a better covenant which contains far more wonderful promises! For if that first covenant had been faultless no one would have needed a second one to replace it. But God revealed the defect and limitation of the first when he said to his people,

“Look! The day will come, declares the Lord,

when I will satisfy the people of Israel and Judah

by giving them a new covenant.

It will be an entirely different covenant

than the one I made with their fathers

when I led them by my hand out of Egypt.

For they did not remain faithful to my covenant,

so I rejected them, says the Lord God.

For here is the covenant I will one day establish with the people of Israel:

I will embed my laws within their thoughts

and fasten them onto their hearts.

I will be their loyal God and they will be my loyal people.

And the result of this will be

that everyone will know me as Lord!

There will be no need at all to teach their fellow-citizens or brothers by saying,

‘You should know the Lord Jehovah,’

since everyone will know me inwardly,

from the most unlikely to the most distinguished.

For I will demonstrate my mercy to them

and will forgive their evil deeds,

and never remember again their sins.”

This proves that by establishing this new covenant the first is now obsolete, ready to expire, and about to disappear.

The Book of Hebrews, Chapter 8 (The Passion Translation)

to be accompanied by inspiration from Today’s reading in the Psalms:

From heaven the one True God examines the earth

to see if any understand the big picture,

if any seek to know the True God.

The Book of Psalms, Poem 53:2 (The Voice)

The Lord looks down in love, bending over heaven’s balcony.

God looks over all of Adam’s sons and daughters,

looking to see if there are any who are wise with insight—

any who search for him, wanting to please him.

The Book of Psalms, Poem 53:2 (The Passion Translation)

God’s words are pure words,

Pure silver words refined seven times

In the fires of his word-kiln,

Pure on earth as well as in heaven.

God, keep us safe from their lies,

From the wicked who stalk us with lies,

From the wicked who collect honors

For their wonderful lies.

The Book of Psalms, Poem 12:6-8 (The Message)

God is my King from the very start;

he works salvation in the womb of the earth.

With one blow you split the sea in two,

you made mincemeat of the dragon Tannin.

You lopped off the heads of Leviathan,

then served them up in a stew for the animals.

With your finger you opened up springs and creeks,

and dried up the wild floodwaters.

You own the day, you own the night;

you put stars and sun in place.

You laid out the four corners of earth,

shaped the seasons of summer and winter.

The Book of Psalms, Poem 74:12-17 (The Message)

You have always been, and always will be, my King.

You are the mighty conqueror, working wonders all over the world.

It was you who split the sea in two by your glorious strength.

You smashed the power of Tannin, the sea monster.

You crushed the might of Leviathan, the great dragon,

then you took the crumbs and fed them to the sharks.

With your glory you opened up springs and fountains,

then you spoke and the ever-flowing springs of Jordan

dried up so we could cross over.

You own the day and the night.

Sunlight and starlight call you Creator.

The four corners of the earth were formed by your hands,

and every changing season owes its beauty to you.

The Book of Psalms, Poem 74:12-17 (The Passion Translation)

to be concluded with wisdom from Today’s chapter in the book of Proverbs for August 12:

To learn the truth you must long to be teachable,

or you can despise correction and remain ignorant.

If your heart is right, favor flows from the Lord,

but a devious heart invites his condemnation.

You can’t expect success by doing what’s wrong.

But the lives of his lovers are deeply rooted and firmly planted.

The integrity and strength of a virtuous wife

transforms her husband into an honored king.

But the wife who disgraces her husband

weakens the strength of his identity.

The lovers of God are filled with good ideas

that are noble and pure,

but the schemes of the sinner

are crammed with nothing but lies.

The wicked use their words to ambush and accuse,

but the lovers of God speak to defend and protect.

The wicked are taken out, gone for good,

but the godly families shall live on.

Everyone admires a man of principles,

but the one with a corrupt heart is despised.

Just be who you are and work hard for a living,

for that’s better than pretending to be important

and starving to death.

A good man takes care of the needs of his pets,

while even the kindest acts of a wicked man are still cruel.

Work hard at your job and you’ll have what you need.

Following a get-rich-quick scheme is nothing but a fantasy.

The cravings of the wicked are only for what is evil,

but righteousness is the core motivation for the lovers of God,

and it keeps them content and flourishing.

[Wisdom Means Being Teachable]

The wicked will get trapped by their words

of gossip, slander, and lies.

But for the righteous, honesty is its own defense.

For there is great satisfaction in speaking the truth,

and hard work brings blessings back to you.

A fool is in love with his own opinion,

but wisdom means being teachable.

[Learning to Speak Wisely]

If you shrug off an insult and refuse to take offense,

you demonstrate discretion indeed.

But the fool has a short fuse

and will immediately let you know when he’s offended.

Truthfulness marks the righteous,

but the habitual liar can never be trusted.

Reckless words are like the thrusts of a sword,

cutting remarks meant to stab and to hurt.

But the words of the wise soothe and heal.

Truthful words will stand the test of time,

but one day every lie will be seen for what it is.

Deception fills the hearts of those who plot harm,

but those who plan for peace are filled with joy.

Calamity is not allowed to overwhelm the righteous,

but there’s nothing but trouble waiting for the wicked.

Live in the truth and keep your promises,

and the Lord will keep delighting in you,

but he detests a liar.

Those who possess wisdom don’t feel the need

to impress others with what they know,

but foolish ones make sure their ignorance is on display.

If you want to reign in life,

don’t sit on your hands.

Instead work hard at doing what’s right,

for the slacker will end up working to make someone else succeed.

Anxious fear brings depression,

but a life-giving word of encouragement

can do wonders to restore joy to the heart.

Lovers of God give good advice to their friends,

but the counsel of the wicked will lead them astray.

A passive person won’t even complete a project,

but a passionate person makes good use

of his time, wealth, and energy.

Abundant life is discovered by walking in righteousness,

but holding on to your anger leads to death.

The Book of Proverbs, Chapter 12 (The Passion Translation)

my reading in the Scriptures for August 12, day 53 of Summer and day 224 of the year:

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fightevilandthengetblownup · 3 years ago

Text

FIC: The Club

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"Okay, okay, order guys," The calm, but perky, voice called out over the muffled din of so many voices bouncing off one another and talking over each other as if carried on an unrelenting river down the rapids. The blonde, shorter than most assembled around the large circular table but older or at the least wiser-seeming, stood from her seat as if to call order to them all. "Hey, thanks if we can settle down and get on with our purpose of being here… I'm sure we've all got things we'd much rather be doing-"

"My husband, for me," The willowy, inhumanly perfect looking brunette sassed out, one brow raised over her bright yellow eyes. "I don't know if you ladies get the same enjoyment, but I would quite like to get back home."

"Oh lah-dee-dah," The youngest blonde around the table snapped out, crystal blue eyes surrounded by dark circles snapped as she glared across at the other woman. "Just cause your world means a husband and no end-of-the-world apocalypses like some of us-"

"Sweetheart, please, no one's going to your world isn't bad if it's really like that." The blonde sitting next to Julie Grigio sighed softly, her fae-like features in her puckish lips shining through as she smiled gently at the younger girl. Her tooth-gaped smile hiding the exasperation at being surrounded by so many unable to keep their internal-voices as quiet as they were on the outside. Sookie Stackhouse placed a gentle hand on the girl next to her's hand before flinching back feeling the gap where a finger should have been. "Oh!"

"Yeah, fucking oh." Julie mocked, teeth gritted and an angry snarl to her lips as she jerked her hand back and slumped into her chair, the flash of anger dying out as quickly as it came to the depressive thoughts she really did have the worst life. "Let's just… get on with the point of this."

"Yes, exactly!" The first blonde spoke up again, clapping her hands together. Buffy Summers wasn't one to let the mood drop for long if she could help it. And being the eldest, she figured that keeping things on track was likely her task. "We're here cause, um-" She trailed off at that point, the actual purpose of this round table foggy for her.

It was the same for all those gathered there. They'd all been in their respective worlds one moment, and then things got cloudy and they were suddenly at this table. Some of them could recognise others - the various works that others came from familiar and fictional in their realities - while others had complete confusion.

Sookie Stackhouse had been cooking breakfast for her husband and children in her Grandma's house - calling out to her husband to fix the dang chicken coop - when she felt the fuzzy feeling she used to only get when moving to the fairy realm.

Bela Swann-Cullen had been about to go visit her friend Jacob, running through the woods without a care in the world as Edward took their daughter to see her dad, and then she took another powerful step and found herself seated at the table.

Buffy Summers was, of course, far too familiar with the effect of magic. She'd taken it in stride opening one door and finding herself at a strange table with an array of strange women.

Beside her was a dark haired, mousy looking lady who looked well loved and well and truly confused as she looked about at them all - eyes wide and frightened as she jerked her hands about to sign something. Not that anyone really had noticed her yet.

The youngest one was Julie Grigio, sat between Sookie and the dark-haired mute, and the extremely volatile emotions and reactions thus far were half out of annoyance at all the upbeat personalities and half out of fear of being in an unknown room she didn't know how to escape from. R had just said he'd finished making their breakfast and had been calling her down to get started on another hard day of travelling to reach out to those people that were not too far gone when she'd left the bedroom and found herself here.

Another dark haired girl at the table, sat beside her fellow vampire, was Elena Gilbert. Crazy had been her life for years, so she was taking the whole situation in stride and focused more upon the other vampire beside her who seemed less prepared for the unexpected than she was.

"Because - we're here as a joke," the lone blonde yet to speak said, her worn cowboy boots kicked up on the table at odds with the buttercup yellow sundress she wore but in keeping with the equally worn denim jacket she had on over the top. Jo Harvelle rolled her eyes as she looked around the assembled table with a sigh. "Y'all really haven't been made aware of your relevancy to that other world have you?"

"Huh?" Elena asked, tilting her head. "What other-"

"Oh god, this isn't one of those crossovers is it?" Buffy cut over the vampiric girl with a groan, slumping back down into her seat and rubbing at her temples. "Okay, if that's the case, we better work out what our crossover is for and complete the task so we can all get on home before this turns into a-" She shuddered, "- musical."

"Hey, I liked the musical episode," Bela chimed in, recognising the 90's heroine from her own world.

"Me too," Elena added with a smile, before exchanging a grin with the vampire beside her. "Bela, right?"

"Yeah, and you're...Elena?"

"Yup!"

"Okay cool, we at least recognise each other and Buffy over there."

"I recognise her too," Sookie chimed in, followed quickly by Julie nodding her head and pointing at the Slayer.

"Me too."

"Okay, what, am I famous in all your world's for something?" Buffy frowned, sitting up a little straighter and looking about the table at the nods from all but the silent, dark-haired woman. "Who are you?"

The mute paused for a second, doe-eyed and obviously frightened for a moment before she started signing away. The communal looks of confusion started until Sookie chimed up, "Oh! Her name is… Eliza? And she's from… Baltimore? In 1962?!"

"Yippee, time travel," Elena said, rolling her eyes to herself before starting at the confused looks she was getting. "Sorry. Dopplegangers and a lot of confusing time stuff."

"I had the same with the fairy realm so that's understandable," Sookie replied sympathetically, before going back to translating Eliza's thoughts and signing through that for them all. "She does not recognise any of us, and just… wants to go back to the water?"

There was a pause before the blonde hunter leaped to her feet, clapping her hands. "Oh fuckin' hell! It's the amphibian-girl!"

"What?"

"Who?"

"Do you recognise her?"

Jo clapped her hands again before looking around the table for a moment and then letting out a loud laugh. "Oh my fuckin' God - it's the monster fuckin' club!"

There was another, longer and clearly more drawn out pause of silence, before the rest clamoured all at once to question what on earth she was on about.

"No, no, I know what this is. This is totally Monster Fucking Club," Jo said with a definitive nod before pointing a hand straight across the table at Buffy. "I'm pretty sure I know how everyone here is, and I can prove that's what this is about. You're Buffy Summers-"

"Yes…?"

"And you've fucked at least two vampires, and definitely loved two of them, let alone any other non-humans - I'm sorry, it got so convoluted after Angel left for his own show."

Buffy turned bright red as she faced down the words before blinking in surprise at the other blonde's claim. "Umm…"

"That's true-"

"Yeah. You totally did."

"I mean it is definitely fair."

All three of the other vampire-partnered women spoke up, nodding their heads supportively before blinking in surprise at one another.

"Ah yes, I'm guessin' only the Southern Belle doesn't recognise you other two, hmm?" Jo chimed in as the two brunette vampires and the blonde half-fae looked curiously at one another. "So the pale one with the yellow eyes is Bela Swann, though given you've got the whole...unearthly glow going on I'm guessin' you're married?"

"Yes," Bela replied nodding. "And yes, I confirm that I do indeed sleep with my vampire husband."

"I'm Elena Gilbert," the other dark haired vampire said, smiling gently around the table but only unable to meet the eye of the very sour blonde across from her. Elena shrugged a shoulder. "I've...also slept with a few vampires."

"I've only one-" Bela cut in, frowning. "So your theory of it being-"

"Bela, it doesn't matter the numbers. You fuck someone inhuman - you're a monster-fucker." Jo shook her head towards the younger woman's attempt to exclude herself from the group before turning to look at the other blonde closest to her age. "Sookie Stackhouse - half-fairy, vampire-magnet and lover, right?"

"I mean, I prefer the idea of bein' seen as an empath instead of fae-"

"Fair. Fairies are bitches."

"Hey!"

There was a momentary squabble before Buffy banged her hand on the table shutting up her fellow blondes, eyes fixed on the one that had been holding court for a few moments there. "Alright then, you've been able to say a few of us - but what did you mean by amphibian-girl about Eliza here? And who are you and our other friend-"

"My name is Julie," the youngest blonde growled out, glaring towards the other women as she crossed her arms.

"Yes, what about Julie and yourself?"

"Okay, okay, first things first," Jo said with a sigh, holding up a hand with one finger up, "Eliza over there is in love with an amphibious man kinda like the creature from the Black Lagoon...except that he fucks. And well, I suspect, aye Lizzie?" She waggled an eyebrow looking over at the dark haired woman with a smirk.

Eliza blushed deeply for a moment, her hands flapping about as if trying to decide what to say before holding her hands tightly in her lap and nodding her head rapidly.

Jo smirked, giving a supportive nod, before holding up another finger. "Secondly, I'm Jo Harvelle. Hunter extraordinaire and I'm definitely a member of this club given. And thirdly-"

"How are you a member though?" Bela chimed in, eyes sharply focused on her as Jo glanced back across. "So far you've said vampires for all of use except for Eliza. So...you sleep with vampires too?"

"Fuckin' god no, ugh!" Jo shook her head with a disgusted look before shrugging her shoulder. "My darlin' hunny is a shadow monster. Kinda like a vampire but energy and no blood, and also fuckin' sexier than bein' a fang-banger."

"Hey!" Sookie scowled, arms crossed under her white Merlotte's shirt she was wearing having been meaning to go straight to work after feeding her family. "That's a filthy name to be callin' us-"

"Oh is that mean in your world?" Elena asked, head tilted curiously until Sookie nodded back at her.

"Anyways," Jo said, rolling her eyes and pointing at herself with her two fingers. "Point is, certified monster fucker here too. And then," she holds up a third finger before pointing her hand towards the remaining blonde. "She's Julie Grigio, right?"

"Yeah…" Julie grumbled the word out, looking warily at the other before noticing the amount of scars littering the older blonde's body how none of the other women had that pointed her out for a kindred spirit. "So? You gonna share my backstory now, huh?"

"Well, if you're not." Jo shrugged before sighing gently noticing the missing finger. "She's from an apocalyptic zombie-infested world. Her lover is a sentient zombie who's definitely working towards saving the world, or may have by now."

"Thanks-"

"You two are so cute and deserve better than that."

"Yeah, well, we don't all get to live happy lives with husbands and happiness and whatever else where bad things don't happen."

“True, but myself and Buffy over there have had our fair share of Shit Happens, so you’ve got some company here, Jules,” The hunter said with a comforting smile, ignoring the squawked objections from the two vampires and the half-fae that their worlds were equally so bad. It was fair to object, but crazed virus infected vampires that weren’t exactly dangerous any more wasn’t the same as world-wide zombie plague nor the actual biblical apocalypse like the hunter or Slayer had experienced. Let alone the potential, far less world-threatening issues the other two had experienced. “Anyways, I know you say that - but you and your super cute ex-zombie boyfriend aren’t living that bad a life now that you’re curin’ the world as it is.”

Julie had the decency to blush, even though she moved her hands both to the table and rubbed over the missing space on the one hand as message enough that her point still stood.

“Okay, well, I guess we’ve established that the connection between us all is,” Buffy quickly cut in, clapping her hands and standing up again as she looked around at the group of women. “But that doesn’t help us work out exactly what the purpose of us being together is for. What problem it is we’ve been brought to tackle.”

“Eliza was wondering if it was about humanity and.. Monsters?” Sookie chimed up after a beat of silence, eyes fixed on the dark-haired woman who was moving her hands rapidly before touching her neck. “Oh! Because so many of us are not… no longer humans? I mean, I was born what I was, and I’d always thought I was human, and- oh, same for Eliza over there.”

There was a pause as the dark-haired woman seemed to think carefully before she began miming something else, and all eyes were on her even as the blonde empath spoke for her instead. “She was never sure what was wrong with her, or if she’d always been meant to be in the water like her man is, but she never felt that humanity and being human was what her life should or would have been.” There was another pause as she gestured to the marks to the side of her neck and then around the air. “She could live outside the water, of course, but it’s a silent world up here for her.”

“I am what I am because of an ancient mystical curse or blessing, depending how you look at it.” Buffy added, shrugging a shoulder as she seemed to consider that as an option. “I mean, you could say because of my metahuman skills from being a Slayer that I may not be so considered a human any more-”

“I’m a flat out vampire now, not that I really… That is to say, I didn’t really want to be.” Elena spoke up quietly, looking at the table top rather than meeting anyone’s eye. “It was a mistake really. And especially for Damon to have been the one to sire me-”

“Ugh, why did you go for the dickhead brother? Worst. Decision. Ever.” “What the hell do you know about that, hunter-girl?” “Easy - always go for the nice one, far less dangerous a life choice.”

“Anyway,” Elena glared across at the older hunter at that point, looking up from the table and more confident as she spoke in that moment then. “If I had had the choice, I’m not sure I would have decided to become a vampire so… Does that not wanting to change from human factor in for anyone else?”

“Why would you not want to be a vampire?!” Bela’s eyes were wide and disbelieving as she looked at the girl next to her in confusion. “I mean, I had to get married to make my husband agree to turn me. And even then, he tried to talk me out of it for years. Why wouldn’t you want to have forever with your love?”

Sookie coughed softly and seemed to wipe at her eyes for a moment before speaking up softly. “Because, sometimes there are costs for being what you are that you can never make up for. I… I considered becoming a fairy-vampire with Warlow before I realised how evil and crazed he was. And then Bill was all messed up by Lilith, and Eric was dying from the virus and-” The blonde sucked in a quick, harsh series of breaths before shaking her head and the perpetually sunshine-like smile came back across her face. “Sometimes not becoming something you think you should works out. I’d have never had my loving human husband and kids if I had turned myself.”

“And I’d have died giving birth to my daughter if I hadn’t been turned,” Bela shot back, raising a brow with an arch look to her face. “We all have different experiences, you know.”

“Well, unlike the fucking rest of you-” Julie cut in with a sneer, crossing her arms under her chest as she looked around the table.”-Aint nobody want to be inhuman in my world. Though that doesn’t stop a whole damn lot of people from trying to be. The apathy for other beings is disgusting, and the treatment of not just the bonies and the fleshies, but other humans. Everything is corrupted, the world is dead and I mean the soul of the world is dead. Human or not - everything is missing that piece these days.”

There was another silence around the table at that declaration, each other woman catching one another’s eye before dropping it again at the feelings such a declaration brought up. A world, devoid of goodness that was still fighting for love, felt like such a far step away from the dramas of vampires and werewolves squabbling for land or acceptance in mainstream society.

Only Jo seemed to nod in agreement and understanding, speaking quietly, “Some of y’all ain’t seen how a real apocalypse works. The spread of pestilence and war ravaging the lands, death everywhere. Experiencing death first hand for real, the gritty horrible pain of bleedin’ out and knowin’ you aint got a damn thing to give for the world but what little you have left of yourself-” She looked straight across at the nodding younger blonde, and stared down each of the two vampires as they looked set to disagree about not having experienced a real death, before she found herself staring down the Slayer looking back at her. “I mean, I know Buffy over there has given the big sacrifices before, but even then your world wasn’t quite so...decimated as some others. Julie’s got zombies running wild, Sook had quite a 28 Days Later type situation goin’ on, and I fought one of the legit horsemen of the Apocalypse. So, it’s a bit grander than the family dramas and scheming military folks these other three had on their hands.”

“And nobody wants to be a zombie.” Julie added snappily to the end of the other’s speech, raising a brow. “Not even R wants to be one.”

“Sounds like my hunny, he wishes he could be a human too.”

Elena was the next one to speak up, her voice soft and uncertain but also clear and more like she was sharing a thought she was still formulating. “Maybe… maybe that is the point? That we’re all, um, well, what Jo called us-”

“Monster fuckers.”

“Yes, that,” Elena continued, a faint blush on her cheeks as she looked about the table. “We might all be that, but I know that, well, at least Stefan-”

“The best of your lover boys.” “Fair call, truth.” “Thanks, Bela.”

“Jo and Bela, can we let Elena finish talking for once?” Buffy cut in sharply with a reprimanding look at the two women that were sat beside one another, before looking around the rest of the table as if to confirm they all agreed to let the young vampire finish her thought process. “Okay, back to you Elena.”

“Um, thank you. But what I was saying,” Her voice got louder then and more bold, clearly not sure she would get to actually finish what she was saying without interruption if she didn’t speak up more. “-is that it seems like while we might all be monster-fuckers, none of the monsters that we love want to be one. I know Stefan regrets losing his human life, and sometimes Damon does too.”

“Edward literally tried to kill himself so I wouldn’t be tempted to become like him,” Bela added herself, looking thoughtful. “He believes he has no soul and he regrets being turned and not left to die as a human with his human mother. He regrets what I have become, given he’s such a silly religious type.”

“Bill was like that too,” Sookie spoke up next, nodding her head in agreement to Bela’s words. “He hated what he was made into, and if he could’ve been human he would be. I… I sometimes think even Eric would too,” At that she seemed to start fiddling with her wedding ring and unable to meet any watching eyes around the table. “So, so many of the vampires, and even the other half-faes I met wish we weren’t how we are - missing the humanity and the...carefree way being a human is.”

“Like I said - ain’t nobody want to be a fucking zombie.” Julie growled the words out, lifting a hand to rub at her neck with a sigh. “R has fought every piece of him to become a human again and return to the living. He’s fighting for everyone to have that back, in a way that nobody else could have if they didn’t have his conviction.”

Beside the feisty youngest blonde, Eliza bobbed her head one way then another - seemingly tossing up the idea to herself of her wondrous partner wanting to be any other way than the way he was and the way she was; but ended up shrugging a shoulder uncertainly. Perhaps he would if the idea of humanity and how humans lived could be expressed for him, but also being a river god to the humans of his past might be hard to view. But his love for her - the way she intrigued him and fascinated her as much as he did her spoke volumes as well. Maybe he would choose a human life if he’d ever had the option of one.

Buffy herself frowned for a moment before letting out a sharp, bark of a laugh. “Oh this really could be it. Cause if someone like Spike can miss the idea of humanity sometimes, it really must be true for all supernatural beings.” She let out another laugh, rubbing at her elbows for a moment. “Besides, I know Angel wishes he was-” She scowled at the communal sigh that five of the six other women gave at her mentioning the vampire-with-a-soul, eyes flashing dangerously with something she knew she’d have to always keep buried back in her world. “-so this could be it.”

“So we all sleep with monsters, and most of them wish to be human?” Bela said cautiously, looking about the table to see a group of correspondingly agreeing nods. “So...is that why we’re here? To discuss the ethicacy of it?”

"Maybe we're here to talk about how they fuck?" Julie snarked back at the suggestion, a lip curled up, before letting out a laugh as she managed to get a honking, squeak of a laugh from the mute woman beside her. "See? Eliza agrees with me."

"I mean, it'd be a fun topic!" Bela agreed with a laugh, her own mouth twisting into a pretty smile - pretty because that was the point of vampires in her world. "I know I've broken a few beds-"

"That's cute. Destroy a house." Buffy chimed in, sitting back in her own chair before turning slightly pink as all eyes focused on her. "I was just..saying."

"You're saying the Spike fucks, we know, your life is a TV show in our worlds." Elena replied, smiling sweetly at the blushing Slayer, before adding for herself. "I mean, it could be that, but given most of us are only vampires-"

"And a fairy-vampire. And a werewolf. And a shape shifter." Sookie added, before going bright red herself at the gaping looks she received from them all. "What?"

"Oh my god - Sookie is the queen of the monster-fuckers!" Julie cried out, pointing at her fellow blonde with a wicked grin. "We must be here to work out who the biggest one is - and it is totally Sookie! Unless any of you beat, what, four different monster types?"

"I'm only at two," Jo supplied, before the rest shrugged and confirmed they were all single-type girls themselves. "I guess Sookie is the biggest monster-fucker here!"

"Oh no!"

There was a shake to the room, though only one of them seemed to notice as the group began bickering back and forth as to if that was the purpose of their being gathered. Dark brown eyes darted around watching the way the edges of the room they were in, which had once been white began to tint a darker and darker color. Like the light in the room was dimming without anyone having done anything. No one else seemed to be reacting, as the women from all the various media she consumed and connected to in their passions continued to argue. Their voices were blurring together as much as the edges of the room were blurring into dark shadows, and looking about, Jo gave a laugh to herself as she finally worked out what they were there for.

“Oh, this is such a stupid dream.” She growled the words out, eyes fixated on the encroaching shadows as the rest of the women continued to talk without any input from her.

Of course it was a dream. It was her damn subconscious mind thinking on her love’s guilt and her own desires - drawing on them to form some stupid summoning of those she’s read or watched in similar yet equally doomed eventually cases. Sookie with her blurry husband that didn’t matter, Julie with her love trying so hard to better himself, Eliza with her running off to live in the monster’s world and abandoning her human life in the pattern, Bela getting the picket fence with every possible good outcome coming her Mary-Sue way, Elena who would end up in a coffin for decades for love, and of course Buffy who was never meant to live past a year defying the odds but giving up love along the way. Of course this is what her brain would come up with.

And letting out a final laugh, Jo finally closed her eyes and waited out the quiet, friendly voices of the women her mind had planted before her to turn into the vicious hisses she knew before gaining full control of herself each morning - happy to forget the sharp points of the dream to the fog of sleep and the mind-bleaching confusion of her paralysis rather than think on it much further.

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#au stories #crack fic #jopov

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