#(it's hard the first art that I'm not ashamed to show)

[lunameimei]

Scared little butterfly 🦋

[echo-stimmingrose]

I'm getting so fucking sick of the pjo fandom. It was bad before yes, but ever since the show casting came out, y'all's behavior has been down right disgusting.

The harassment Leah, a literal child, faces due to the color of her skin from you racist fucks is just outright appalling and every single one of you should be ashamed of yourselves. You pieces of shit even got her social media account banned and have told her to kill herself because she's black. And I don't wanna hear "it's just cause of the color of her hair!" Cause it's not and we all know it's not.

Two, the treatment of fan artists is just gross. Multiple fan artists are getting their art stolen and whitewashed not to mention the harassment they get whenever they don't draw a character exactly the way people want. Guess what, their art isn't for you, and you aren't fucking entitled to it.

And three, I was really hoping that y'all would be more accepting of people who just watch the show. But no, you're calling them idiots and harassing them just for not knowing the biggest fucking plot twist of the first book. (Most of y'all didn't know Luke was the traitor when you first read the books either, so shut the fuck up) I need y'all to get off of your damn high horses, you are not better than them just because you've read the books. Your opinion of the show doesn't fucking matter, let people enjoy it and stop telling them to "just read the books" especially if they've said they don't want too. The show makes the story of Percy Jackson more accessible to more people and your hatred of show watchers are driving people away from the fandom. Most of y'all have forgotten, but the book series is about kids with adhd and dyslexia, two disabilities that make it hard to read through one book let alone an entire book series. Not to mention that books are expensive and not everyone has access to them. If you don't like the show, fine, don't watch it, but leave the people who are the fuck alone.

And four, and this is less about the show and just about shipping in general. But ship discourse is the dumbest shit I have ever seen. People are literally told to go kill themselves because of what they ship. It doesn't matter how gross you think a ship is, they're fictional characters; leave people alone and learn how to use the fucking block button. If you don't like a ship you can make your own damn post and tag it as 'anti*ship*'. do not go onto someone's post about that ship and start hating on what they're talking about, it just makes you an asshole. There are ships I don't like all that much so I've blocked the damn tag, it's so easy. I've even blocked the anti tag for ships I ship because there's no point in reading something hating on something I like. Stop hurting your own feelings by reading shit you know will upset you and leave people the fuck alone. (If you're a roleplay account it still doesn't give you the right to hate on someone's ship, especially on their posts, again leave people alone).

People are leaving the fandom because of y'all's behavior and y'all need to learn some basic human decency and grow the fuck up.

[jackoshadows]

Just thinking out loud after coming across the nth iteration of Sansa brushing Arya's hair fanart. For those who love the Stark sisters and draw art of them I always wonder why there is not more art from Arya's perspective.

If it's all fanon and headcanons anyways - like Sansa brushing Arya's hair - then why not fanart of Arya and Sansa going horse-riding? Or, if horses are hard to draw, why not art of Arya teaching Sansa how to do numbers? Or Arya showing Sansa the different kinds of flowers and how to make a bouquet? or Arya introducing Sansa to the babies of the kitchen maids? Why not fanart for the sisters that's about Arya for a change?

It's just that, canonically, it's such an unique Arya character trait that her hair is often messy and not brushed. Her tangled hair is both a source of pain and low self-esteem for her (Her mother wanting her to be a mini Sansa and getting bullied by Sansa and Jeyne) and a source of unconditional love (Jon messing up her hair and always remembering and loving her for her tangled hair).

She is traumatized by Catelyn's need for her to be another Sansa:

"Well," Arya said, "my hair's messy and my nails are dirty and my feet are all hard." Robb wouldn't care about that, probably, but her mother would. Lady Catelyn always wanted her to be like Sansa, to sing and dance and sew and mind her courtesies. Just thinking of it made Arya try to comb her hair with her fingers, but it was all tangles and mats, and all she did was tear some out

She is open to having her hair brushed by someone who doesn't disparage her appearance and expect her to be a certain way (And that's certainly not Sansa!):

Lady Smallwood insisted that Arya take another bath, and cut and comb her hair besides; the dress she put her in this time was sort of lilac-colored, and decorated with little baby pearls. The only good thing about it was that it was so delicate that no one could expect her to ride in it. So the next morning as they broke their fast, Lady Smallwood gave her breeches, belt, and tunic to wear, and a brown doeskin jerkin dotted with iron studs. "They were my son's things," she said. "He died when he was seven." "I'm sorry, my lady." Arya suddenly felt bad for her, and ashamed. "I'm sorry I tore the acorn dress too. It was pretty."

And she finds unconditional love and acceptance in Jon's embracing of her as she is:

Jon wouldn't care who I killed or whether I brushed my hair . . . "Jon looks like me, even though he's bastard-born. He used to muss my hair and call me 'little sister.'" Arya missed Jon most of all. Just saying his name made her sad. "How do you know about Jon?" - Arya

Just in Arya's very first AGoT chapter, Jon messes up her hair three times!! No wonder Arya's hair is always tangled and messy and no wonder Arya likes it that way!

Jon grinned, reached over, and messed up her hair. Arya flushed. They had always been close. - Arya, AGoT

She would have given anything if Jon had been here to call her "little sister" and muss her hair. Not that it needed mussing. She'd seen her reflection in puddles, and she didn't think hair got any more mussed than hers. - Arya, AGoT

She wished somehow they could come to the Wall before Winterfell, so Jon might muss up her hair and call her "little sister." She'd tell him, "I missed you," and he'd say it too at the very same moment, the way they always used to say things together. She would have liked that. She would have liked that better than anything. - Arya, ACoK

Needle was Jon Snow's smile. He used to mess my hair and call me "little sister," she remembered, and suddenly there were tears in her eyes. - Arya, AFfC

And Arya … he missed her even more than Robb, skinny little thing that she was, all scraped knees and tangled hair and torn clothes, so fierce and willful. Arya never seemed to fit, no more than he had … yet she could always make Jon smile. He would give anything to be with her now, to muss up her hair once more and watch her make a face, to hear her finish a sentence with him. - Jon, AGoT

As he rode, Jon peeled off his glove to air his burned fingers. Ugly things. He remembered suddenly how he used to muss Arya's hair. His little stick of a sister. He wondered how she was faring. It made him a little sad to think that he might never muss her hair again. - Jon, ACoK

He wanted to believe it would be Arya. He wanted to see her face again, to smile at her and muss her hair, to tell her she was safe. - Jon, ADwD

You know nothing, Jon Snow. He thought of Arya, her hair as tangled as a bird's nest. I made him a warm cloak from the skins of the six whores who came with him to Winterfell … I want my bride back … I want my bride back … I want my bride back … "I think we had best change the plan," Jon Snow said. - Jon, ADwD

It's also something to note that Jon seems to exhibit some sort of disdain for the ladies brushing their hair

A warrior princess, he decided, not some willowy creature who sits up in a tower, brushing her hair and waiting for some knight to rescue her. - Jon, ADwD

GRRM has talked about how Arya's messy hair is something Jon misses and connects with in the girls he loves and admires - like Ygritte, for example, with her tangled, never brushed hair.

It’s a reference to a certain physical type, and a certain indication of what Jon finds admirable. It’s like someone who reminds you of, you know… Other people might be put off by this, you know, hair that looks like small rodents have been living in there. It doesn’t put him off because he is used to that.”

Why change that and always have her conform to what Sansa wants to do in all these fanart? Why try to turn Arya into a mini Sansa like Catelyn wanted to do - something that is painful for Arya. Why not explore fanart where Sansa is doing something that Arya loves and is good at?

So yeah, I am not an artist, can't even doodle lol. Artists are going to draw what they want and that's perfectly okay.

I simply wanted to point out that this would be something that canon Arya would dislike and wouldn't want done. Not to mention canon Sansa is never going to be brushing Arya's hair in the first place because they have never had that kind of relationship and never will and that's perfectly okay as well.

And if there is fanart of Sansa brushing Arya's hair, there should be addendum fanart of Jon immediately messing it up and them both having a giggle over it!!

[fadedtoneverland]

hello dear author, I could request a Hyunjin x male!reader who is a member of nct, reader is the brother of another famous idol and he often dresses in long dresses or long skirts, I hope I'm not asking too much of you, take care of yourself

“my muse”

❤︎ synopsis — as an artistic man, hyunjin is drawn towards someone who embodies art in his own way

pairing: idol!hyunjin x idol!male!reader

theme: fluff ✿

a/n: first stray kids request! hyunjin is literally the most beautiful man i’ve ever laid my eyes on, and i adore him, so im glad he’s the first member from skz i get to write for !!

cw: none.

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i’d like to believe hyunjin likes to observe people on a deeper level

it’s just how he is. hyunjin is an artistic man. he sees the world beyond what the naked eye presents him, and that shows in how he treats and greets people

it’s a habit he’s had. he’ll meet someone, have a few nice conversations, and then he’ll go about thinking about their style, mannerisms and energy

he’s done it a lot in the kpop industry, being able to clock someone’s insecurities and thoughts just from a look alone

hyunjin never really questioned why he does it, in fact he himself is sometimes weirded out by his random hyper analytical behavior. but it allows himself to give a deeper insight on the people he surrounds himself with

so when sm entertainment announced a new member of nct dream, he was naturally curious.

nct was already known for their bold concept of many members, all split into different sub-units. hyunjin had personally met a few of the dreamies before

that’s when he saw you

hyunjin was immediately captured by your striking appearance. when you made your stage debut, you were draped in the most gorgeous silks and fabrics, accompanied with sparkling diamonds that made you stand out. like a prince

maybe it was the skirt, or maybe it was the flashy stage presence, but hyunjin has never encountered someone so… bold. so confident to dominate the stage with such ease, like you were made for it.

later on, hyunjin learned from jisung that you were the brother of famous tvxq member, kim jaejoong. hyunjin could see the resemblance. you definitely had his eyes… and his attitude.

it explained a lot, actually

hyunjin definitely wanted to get to know you more

and fate seemed to be on his side as he ran into you during an after party of the

the party was filled with all sorts of people tonight.

stray kids had a particularly good evening, having won a couple awards from the MAMA show this year, all thanks to their hard work and talent. as expected, the kpop sensation was invited to attend the after party at a private venue, hosted by a couple of the TV hosts themselves.

hyunjin was off to do his own thing, having separated himself from the group to get swept away in the fun party. pretty faces and model bodies were everywhere. hyunjin has seen them all, even recognized a few faces. it was expected to see many people like that, he worked in the idol industry after all.

beauty was key in a world like this

the black haired idol found himself leaning against one of the party tables, a glass of champagne cupped in his long fingers. he took a sip of the sugary liquor while scanning the crowd. the crowd was filled with all sort so celebrities, having the same shallow conversations. he’d catch sight of young women acting too humble for the sake of the camera, men too ashamed of their tan skin, so they hide it behind pale makeup, and the starry eyes of children who have yet to discover the darkness behind the industry.

it was all the same. nothing interesting caught his eyes. but then again, there’s almost no room for individuality when the standard is to just be an obedient, purse pup. almost everyone was in this room was just a pretty show dog, doing the ringmaster’s commands and tricks without question.

hyunjin sighed.

he was thinking too pessimistically for an event that’s supposed to be fun and exciting.

taking another quick swig of his golden alcohol, hyunjin set the glass down, deciding he’s had enough for tonight. as he looked around the crowd, he caught sight from the corner of his eye approaching him, and leaning against the party table next to him. neither of them made eye contact, but acknowledged one another silently.

“it’s rather lovely tonight, isn’t it?” your voice sounded on hyunjin’s right side. of course, pretty porcelain doll from nct dream had to greet him personally. not that hyunjin was offended by your presence, he was just.. taken aback.

“of course,” hyunjin agreed, not tearing his eyes away from the party crowd, “the venue is just lovely.”

“agreed.” you smiled. hyunjin took this opportunity to look at your face. god, even your smile was as perfect as your entire being.

everything about your demeanor was different. it was loud and proud, not afraid to show the world what you were made of. dressed in a clad, wine red dress shirt, accompanied with a matching maxi skirt, you stood out amongst the crowd of mannequins.

that alone intimidated hyunjin. he wasn’t used to such bravery in a dog-eat-dog world.

“congratulations on your win, by the way,” you said while clasping your hands together politely, offering your congratulations to your senior. “stray kids really knows how to steal the stage. i especially enjoyed the performance of thunderous.”

your voice was polite, but there was a hint of playfulness in those bright eyes. hyunjin took a moment to compose himself, before putting on his most charming smirk.

“thank you, y/n.” hyunjin thanked while bowing, showing the mutual respect he held for you. “but i can’t have you being flattering without your own achievements being acknowledged. seriously, your voice absolutely took me away. and your style? nothing like the industry has seen before. you’re pushing new boundaries for the fashion in kpop.”

hyunjin’s always meticulous with the compliments he gives, because it shows he cares. but he also just wanted to praise your expression of art through your style and attitude. it’s not everyday he gets to meet someone unique like this, and it seems the compliment he gave you earned a cute giggle from your pretty red lips.

adorable.

“you’re charming, hyunjin.” you said while covering your lips with your palm, pulling it away and letting your hand fall to your side.

“i get that a lot.” the idol said with a chuckle, rubbing the back of his neck.

“as you should,” you replied, a smirk making it’s way to your lips. “you’re seriously like a real life prince.”

hyunjin laughed. genuinely. not one of those quick, brief laughs he usually did to amuse people.

.. since when did he get so flirty and comfortable with an idol he just met?

the conversation flowed well. hyunjin really found a spark of chemistry between him and you. not only were you bold, but also engaging. the way you speak so beautifully and thoughtfully, it just drew hyunjin in further.

like a fly buzzing into a dazzling light.

“we should do this again, hyunjin.” you say with a smile, the corners of your eyes crinkling with the action.

“i quite enjoy your company.”

hyunjin smiles at this, leaning back against the table.

“what, like a date?” he teased.

you scoff and wave your hand at him. “if that’s what you want to call it.”

the space between you both is filled with giggles. as your laughter died down, you caught sight of jaemin flagging you over to the exit of the after party venue.

sighing solemnly, you give hyunjin one last smile, before turning around. “i’ll catch you later, hwang.”

hyunjin watched with curious eyes as you left, your skirt flowing with every step you took.

‘this boy is gonna kill me.’ hyunjin thought to himself.

he watched as you stepped out of the venue with the rest of the dreamies. you truly were a work of art, and hyunjin definitely believes there’s more he can add to the canvas. you’re beautiful just as you are, but with a splash of color, maybe he can just turn you into one of the most beautiful things the world has ever seen, and make them all fall in love with you all over again.

just as your brother did before.

his muse. his pretty little muse, that he’s just so intent on learning more about, and he won’t stop with just that amazing conversation you just had.

he’ll find you again.

hyunjin smiled. it was a smile of brilliance.

“i’ll catch you later, kim.”

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[michealhehejackson]

Went through the Luca art book for the first time! I love how detailed it is, and the colors are beautifulll

One of my favorite parts is how they captured flow and grace when drawing Luca in his seamonster form. I love the shapes they used.

It's also pretty funny that they chose these drawings to introduce Albertos' character in the book 😭 I also thought it was cute how the book captured Giulia's more "witty" side to her character and most of the concept art is just her working hard for the family buisness <3

Something I wanted to point out though are these two parts. I thought it was pretty cool how this piece of concept art sort of looks like Luca and Alberto looking at future versions of themselves.. 🤔 (I'm pretty sure this was just a coincidence, I don't think this was intentional).

And then this part, where it shows a different story board of when Luca finds Alberto in the tower after the fight. It starts off by showing Alberto throwing cans at a wall, and then Luca confronting Alberto. It then transitions to Luca finding a clam?? Alberto is then shown as if he's confessing something or as if he's ashamed. I thought this was SUPER interesting because it confused me a lot.

And here's some art inspired by the book. Alberto wearing Massimo's gold chain and Giulia's slippers. And then, Luca wearing a outfit inspired by some of the concept art.

[kirathehyrulian]

♥Help Milana Auction Winner for Art Offer #1♥ (placeholder): 🐟Ocean Fishing🐟

*Do not Repost, Alter, or Use without permission of @wetsammywinchester.*

This work was inspired from @wetsammywinchester 's J2 fic Enthrall (For better viewing on desktop, click the image, then right click the enlarged image, and then click "open image in new tab".)

For more stuff from me please check out my “myart” tag here on Tumblr or my AO3.

👇( wip screenshots and notes below the cut) 👇

For more detailed notes: [AO3 link]

Art Notes:

In early Oct 2019, a section of the creator community held/organized a fandom charity auction to help out a fellow creator who had fallen on hard times (for more info on the past auction click here). I offered three commissions towards the auction. Paula was gracious enough to bid for and win my 1st offer for $30.

The details of that offer was: One title card and one illustration for a fic.

Because life events and burnout got in the way we didn't finish talking out all the particulars, but I just decided to go ahead and make two illustrations for now, and if the particulars ever get fleshed out in the future, I'll do the official title card and illustration that more closely fits the story of the scene and overall feel that Paula would like to be depicted from the fic.

So these works are more a placeholder. I made these because it's always been in the back of my mind for 5 years now to complete the offer because that was 30 dollars donated with nothing given from my side to show for it. So at least now it has something to show for it even if it's not the official work that was supposed to be done.

WIP Screenshots:

This was the first sketch idea that I abandoned because I felt like I didn't know how to actually make it and Jared's face would be mostly hidden, which was not a good thing in my book. I succeed more with Jared's face than I do with Jensen. So I had no confidence going in for this idea:

I ended up settling for a sketch of mer!Jared in the water and then I later thought that just doing Jared wasn't fair so I made another canvas for a Jensen fisherman companion piece to the mer!Jared one. Also, I tried to make Jared look 14-ish because I was told Jensen was around 18 in the fic, but up to the view if the attempt translated well. And this is the wip of both of those:

The mer!Jared illustration obviously was more intricate so that process took longer and had more wip screenshots than the Jensen one. I admittedly was getting burnout when working on Jensen's so I took some shortcuts with the t-shirt decal and the bags and containers surrounding Jensen. I just found some images on google and traced them instead of eyeballing it which saved me time and effort that would have made the burnout worse to the point that I might have finishing this work a lot later than now. So I'm not upset or ashamed about doing it for that reason.

I started this project around Feb 8th this year and finished it all March 14th (today). And that's it for now. Thank you for getting this far and-

Enjoy, if you can!♥♥♥

[heatherhpogson]

Week One: Good Omens "The Flaming Sword"

First, I want to take this moment to dedicate this artwork to the Good Omens community, to @neil-gaiman (and co-writer Sir Terry Pratchett R.I.P), to the cast and crew of Good Omens, and to @goodomensonprime. Thank you for inspiring me to create this year. Enjoy the journey.

25+ hours in the making, I've finally finished my first artwork of the year! Since this is a series, this is number 1 out of 52! If you want this on your computer screen, check out my link tree! (If I did this right, it should be linked on the photo. Spoken by a Tumblr noob).

This took a lot longer than I originally thought, but I was having so much fun trying different things. I'm unsure if it's always going to be like this, fun that is, but it is a 52 week challenge. Eek! Did I get myself into deep waters?

Anyway, about the scene and why I chose it...

I think a lot of people like this exchange between Crowley and Aziraphale. It's the first time we're meeting them. Crowley inquires about Aziraphales's missing flaming sword and the poor angel is ashamed to say he gave it away! When Crowley hears this tidbit of information, he appears to be amused. (I was too).

I like this exchange because they don't despise each other. They just accept one another in each other's presence. When Aziraphale covered Crowley with his wing, it solidified my eyes to the screen. I had to see what was going to happen throughout the rest of the show. An angel and a demon? Friends?

The 25+ Hour Journey...

I am not a digital artist, or even a professional artist. I just do this for fun (and sometimes torture). So, when I declared to myself this challenge of doing fan art every week, I was thinking, "this is going to help me improve my art! It's going to be fun." Hmm...Sure, Heather. Fun. Turns out, fun was going to be secondary as I kept running into challenges!

We were sick over the holidays, and to get a good start on this very serious project, I decided to start early. Little did I know when I closed my art program for the weekend everything I worked on for the day would vanish. Poof! Into the nether. Sigh... don't worry, I learned my lesson. Save frequently. Seems common knowledge, but when you have kiddos constantly beckoning you, you sort of forget if you saved.

Then, I decided to color Aziraphale's eyes. Since Crowley's eyes were already a beautiful shade of yellow, Aziraphale needed the same sort of love. Only, as I re-watched the show, it wasn't clear what color his eyes were! They changed from blue to honey in a matter of seconds! So, I played around with it and came up with something I rather liked a lot.

So, despite my mini hardships, I had did have fun with this piece. I usually don't draw backgrounds, but since I want to do more personal artwork of my own characters, I'm trying hard to learn composition.

The end result might not be a masterpiece, but it still means something to me, and I hope it will mean something to others. Don't forget to download this for your computers, let me know if you like it, and have a happy week! Bonne journée!

[skygemspeaks]

okay so after seeing all of the first three episodes again last night with friends and falling even more in love with the cast than before, i finally got around to episode 4 today. some thoughts:

i can't gush enough about the set design, it's all absolutely gorgeous. i was completely in love with the little clearing where young zoro and kuina have their match, just seeing the sunlight filtering through the trees...it really gives off that kind of nostalgic, romantic feeling that you get when you think back to a simpler time in your life. and of course, kaya's mansion is gorgeous! it doesn't look like yet another generic rich person mansion. it has character! i loved all the wall art in their dining room, i like the orderly yet cozy cluttered feeling of the kitchen, i love how it all feels lived in, like it has a history

talking more about the technical aspects, i love the costume design too! i like the slightly too clean look of the marine uniforms - it brings notice to the fact that these are new cadets who don't have much fighting history. i like that both nami and sham get to wear practical clothes! no stupid high heels for nami! no short shorts!

i didn't mention this last time, but i LOVE jacob's version of usopp. it's crazy that they managed to find a guy who can do usopp's over the top facial expressions in real life. they really lucked out with this entire main cast, i can't imagine literally anyone else playing our beloved straw hats. i hope we can see at least one more season, and i hope i adore robin and chopper just as much as i love these the east blue crew

as sad as it is, i'm glad that it seems like merry really is dead. i like this more brutal direction for the live action, because it feels like there are actual consequences for them, and i like that you can't take for granted that just because someone survived in the manga/anime, it means they'll survive in the live action too

the child actors are a little stiff, but i think they're really doing a good job given how young they are! young zoro's actor was definitely doing a better job that kojiro's. he sold his grief over kuina's death very well

speaking of koshiro, i still fuckin hate that dude. he did kuina so dirty with his sexism, convincing her she had no future as a swordswoman, making her believe that she could never stand up to men.

i think having koby and helmeppo show up at kaya's mansion and inevitably get duped by kuro was a good choice. it lets koby get a little more experience in a leadership position, and more than that, it helps establish usopp's distrust of the marines. from the beginning he was always interested in the romantic view he had of pirates because of his dad, but seeing that the marines failed him, even after they said they would help him, and that they didn't believe him no matter how much he begged them to, it helps establish a reason for him to go along with the pirates when they invite him to. the marines didn't do shit to protect kaya, but luffy and his friends did everything they could. they loved kaya, maybe not as much as usopp, but they wanted her to be safe.

side note, it's kind of hilarious to think about helmeppo trying to kill luffy, and then going back to the ship and finding out that he's garp's grandson 💀💀

when we are! started playing in the background as the going merry set sail for the first time with her crew...i cried, i'm not ashamed to admit it. gosh, i missed her, and i miss the first opening. it's so nice to see her get to go on more adventures with her crew in this new medium! i know some people were unhappy with her figurehead, but i just adore it, it suits her crew well

luffy's little shit-eating grin when kaya just gives them merry for free, and nami being just SO exasperated because he's gonna be so insufferable now, it made me laugh so hard! i love these idiots

when usopp and luffy were arguing about which one of them was captain, and nami just burst out laughing? and then zoro started chuckling too? that was so healing! they've already had good chemistry so far, and they've shown loyalty, but it's so nice to finally see zoro and nami kind of starting to admit that they do like these people they've become friends with, and it's nice to see that they're coming around to how much they care about luffy

i was a little iffy about them doing the garp reveal at the end. my first instinct was to be really annoyed by it, but after thinking on it for a moment, it honestly does make sense. in the first place there wasn't really a plot reason to put off the reveal until post enies lobby anyways. and then you also have to take into account that it would be a huge success if we ever even get a second season, let alone reaching post enies lobby. so it's not ideal, but i'm not too upset at them about it. ALSO, seeing zoro, nami, and usopp's reaction to the news was fucking hilarious. i hope we get some good dynamics in the next episode! i want to see garp call luffy his idiot grandson. i want that funny family dysfunction.

[wooden-spaceship]

Hello everyone, it's me again. Today I wanted to give you a small update on how my situation and development of the great dead bird desert is going.

First of all thanks for liking my recent work. It gave me a bump in motevation. And that's gonna be an important word later on, keep that in your minds. Anyways, let's get to the recent stuff I did for the great dead bird desert shall we? First off all the Canyon is going to get a big update. I am trying to figure out Axiom to see how it can form organic material. Here's my first finished result for the canyon's revamp below.

Again I am trying to figure that stuff out so I might not be a pro. The science express also got a massive overhaul for its interior design, leaning more into the science-y feel of the concept art for trainwreck of science.

The left shows the old versions of how the carts used to look like. The right side shows the newer, overhauled versions. Back to the map itself.

The reddest deadest desert is actually nearing its end- Nope, still going. Can I be honest with you? Like really be honest? So I havent been so clear about how progress went now was I? In all honesty THERE WAS NO PROGRESS like look at those renders down there, that is the ENTIRE map, no cuts, no nothing the entire thing.

if im honest, I feel ashamed for the slow progress that I've been making. Its a real buzzkill. Rant Incoming. Scroll down for information and more screenshots. Though, there is a reason why progress wasnt really that good. You see where that "important word" comes in? Yes thats right, the word called motevation, you see where I'm going with this, right? Recently I've noticed that I am not happy with this whole minecraft map thing since it's just a loop of "build this, release it on pmc, next project" I honestly dont even know when this whole thing started im just frustrated and unmotivated and the worst part is it's been bleeding into my personal live as well. Because It honestly feels like a meaningless loop, making something and then just going on and on. I know that's how some things go and all but I'd like to feel some sort of accomplishment for the "hard work" that I do, but nope it's just another moment where I say, 'thats done with, next thing' and honestly the projects I've been working on during TGDBD havent given me the same feeling either. For example heres a map I've been building

its a small fnaf themed map, it took a lot of time to make, you'd think that I should feel some sort of 'good' feeling when looking at it, but the only thing I am reminded of is how frustrating it was working with chisle and bits!

Let me give you another example this time from TGDBD The Original version of DBS

even now when I look at this it makes me puke at the though of that god damn lag that kept terrorising me while I made this, it was unbarable! I decided to stop building and revamp it later on because the performance was so LOW and dont get me started on that god damn piece of glass that says 'Dead Bird Studio' on it this thing still haunts me to this day!! You see where I am going with this? No? Well what I'm trying to tell you is these mods just make it harder and harder to work on this map. You might be suggesting 'why not remove the mods if they are such a pain?' well problem is they are sort of the backbone of the map. Since a few parts of the map rely on these mods otherwhise It'll break and I really really wanted players to drive the Conductors train (and it was ofc for myself to enjoy) but instead of coming to enjoy this map, I came to hate it. I dont want to hate it, but these past negative experiences are just overweighting the positive experiences I had. Not to mention I am in my last year of Highschool which is, of course, the most demanding year! So that also didn't give me enough time to work on this map. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Do you understand where I am coming from now? Good! Because I have made the executive decision to Cancel this map! I'm sorry if this made anyone sad if you even cared for this project that is.

I know that whole rant up there wasnt the most professional but I honestly feel ashamed for not getting much done with the time I actually had.

Anyways, files for this map wont get given out, maybe on high demand but thats unlikely.

Thanks for all the support. ~T.L.

[liliallowed]

it's hard because I'm terrified of being prideful. each time I want to admire my own drawings I also want to bear myself down all the same because Im afraid of being an egotistical asshole....

and like I KNOW confidence and being self centered are two different things... like...

look. I don't know if my drawings are good or bad but I LIKE them. they're something I would like on someone else's blog even if I wasn't the one who drew them... if I were to judge unbiased I'd say its great! but because I'm me it just looks... Normal. because I'm the one doing it.

I'm not saying these to get puty btw I'm just trying to understand why. why am I so stubborn in classes. why do I insist on drawing with my wrist when I know it'll only give me a smaller drawing radius...

I guess in reality...

I don't...

actually like my drawings being seen...

at least by anyone else besides those who know about dusttale or fandom stuff...

I'm so ashamed of showing anything to anyone...

they wouldn't understand anyways so what's the point?

I dunno. you could see it as me just whining about it like I'm just throwing a tantrum...

I don't know why but my drawings feel like my diary... it hurts.

like hurts more than I like to admit.

this was the reason I decided to study computer science in the first place....

because I'm not flexible...

maybe I will try doing "art" one day.

all I've been doing so far is escapism and projection....

I don't know. I feel like something is cracking when I draw the way I'm supposed to.

like it's a commentary about how I'm just fundamentally wrong as a person instead of just holding the pen wrong.

I know that's on me because it's mostly in my head. but maybe it was a good thing I didn't rush back into my art major...

[adiduck]

okay i saw the no limit to your guesses bit this time in your post so imma just throw out so many i’m not even ashamed

- the daggers first time meeting 86’ mav n ice

- cyclone who greatly admires iceman seeing young iceman and being Normal about it

- smth about preferring volleyball to football

I... do not have any of these exactly I'm afraid 😂No reason, really! I just didn't include them meeting Mav because that's about the same, cut the scene where Cyclone would have met '86 Mav and Ice for the sake of the convo being very stilted and unnecessary to the plot, and didn't think to make a joke about volleyball v football! As a consolation prize, please accept the daggers seeing Admiral Ice for the first time, via '86 Mav, who definitely has a normal appreciation for the figure the Admiral cuts walking up an aisle:

“There’s one more thing,” the Captain says, as he finishes explaining the specifics of coffin corner. A difficult bullseye at speed after a sharp descent and immediately followed by a climb of at least nine Gs--what the fuck? “As many of you may know, our efforts here are being personally sponsored by Admiral Kazansky, who I imagine needs no introduction,” the Captain drawls. Next to Maverick, Ice stills. Maverick looks at the way the Captain’s eyes are dancing, the little smirk he’s wearing, and his heart kicks up. “As the timeline has moved up, the Admiral has opted, as is his prerogative, to sit in today and monitor progress. Let’s try to give him a good show, shall we?”

In the back, the door opens.

“Attention,” the Captain snaps out, and Maverick is on his feet and saluting on reflex--

And that is how Maverick gets his first look at Admiral Thomas “Iceman” Kazansky, COMPACFLT.

He’s tall, Maverick thinks first, which is fucking ridiculous--Ice is a tall guy. It’s not like he’s going to shrink. But something about the way the Admiral walks accentuates it, makes him ten feet tall instead of six, makes him fill the room. His hair has gone all silver now--or maybe he just stopped dying it between when his official portrait was taken and 2019. The stars on his shoulders catch the light, impossible to ignore, and the set of his jaw and the tilt of his mouth sharper than Maverick remembers, but familiar in a way that hits Maverick straight in the gut.

His pace is even, eyes front, something about the set of his shoulders broadcasting that he owns the room and everyone in it.

Because he does, Maverick thinks, and fights down a smile.

He turns to the room when he hits the podium and returns the salute, eyes sharp as he takes in the service members arrayed before him. He barely spares Maverick and Ice a glance of their own--or at least no more than anyone else.

“As you were,” he says, and his voice is… hoarse, raspier than Maverick was expecting. Maverick blinks, and frowns a little. Is he sick? Now that Maverick’s looking, the Admiral might be a bit on the thin side, might be a little pale. The way he leans on the podium as the Captain steps away looks casual enough, but there’s something about the way he’s holding it that seems like he might be steadying against it. It’s hard to say--Ice has always been hard for Maverick to read when he wants to be, and the Admiral seems to have turned that into an art form. He squints. Maybe it’s not that he’s pale so much as he’s a little flushed. Too much color high in his cheeks.

Maverick settles back into his seat. Around him, the others do the same. It takes Ice a second--staring at the Admiral, mouth thin, eyes narrowed--before he blinks and lowers himself into the chair. The Admiral’s eyes rest on him again before drifting away to take in the room again.

“This is a mission very few would be able to fly,” he says, still in that same growly rasp. “But you’re all the best the Navy has to offer. I’m expecting to be impressed today.” His eyes slide over to Maverick and Ice again, still the same clear, sharp gray-blue. He nods, once, like he’s come to a decision, and steps back from the podium. “All yours, Captain Mitchell,” he says, and turns to make his way to a chair set up against the back wall, next to where Cyclone and Warlock are seated. His gait’s still steady and strong, though he reaches for the back of the chair as he lowers himself into it. Maverick can feel the frown on his face deepening.

There’s not time to worry about that, though, because the Captain clears his throat, drawing all eyes back to him. “Schedule for hops should be in the briefing in front of you,” he says. “I’ll expect your preflights done in half an hour. You’re dismissed.”

There’s shuffling behind Maverick, and he glances behind him, watching the others gathering up their paperwork, glancing at the schedule to file out of the room. The Captain watches for a moment and then turns to walk over to the Admirals, giving another salute before crossing his arms over his chest, saying something too low for Maverick to hear. It must have been a joke--Warlock gives a familiar amused smile as Cyclone sighs.

The Admiral, on the other hand, laughs, then rolls his eyes expansively. It’s such an Ice expression to Maverick being a dumbass that Maverick can’t help smiling himself.

“Come on,” he says, turning to Ice. “We gotta--”

Ice is still staring forward, mouth pinched.

[iwillalwaysbealone]

Ortega. The Yuma lookalike

First post test. Just because.

You guys ever noticed how Ortega in Pokémon Scarlet and violet looks exactly like Yuma from MDA: Raincode?

I've always wanted to point that out because I find it hilarious.

• BOTH are males

• BOTH have purple eyes

• BOTH have a short physical build

• BOTH have pink hair styled in a bowl cut

Yuma: "DON'T TALK TO ME OR MY SON EVER AGAIN!"

Either way I freaking adore them both! 🩷💜

Ortega is Fairy Type Yuma while Yuma is Ghost type Ortega.

Yuma is kindhearted with a strong sense of justice while Ortega is competitive, bratty and short tempered while hiding real feelings behind the insults he throws at people.

Just some things about me:

By the way this is my first ever Tumblr post. I'm a new guy so I'm the newbie dumbass. I'm a massive fan of MDA Raincode, Danganronpa, Monster Hunter alongside other video games. I actually research multiple video games and really look into any new characters that catch my interest.

Usually I've been in the dark because I don't use many forms of social media (I was raised strictly so I wasn't allowed to talk to anyone online until I was 19 in 2019) so yeah... I'm an internet hermit. I first had a taste of online socialising when I created a YouTube account to talk in the Super Smash Bros Ultimate streams I was taking part in. Then from there I joined Discord just so that I could remain in contact with my friends I made there. However after years of struggling with fitting into online communities I've had no choice but to back away from people due to my health. Having social anxiety really doesn't help, plus I'm autistic so I really struggle with a lot of basic things people can do easily. (For example instructions have to be simplified for me so that I can understand them step by step).

I'm a gamer who loves multiple video games but always struggles with talking about my passions wherever I go. People find me annoying, see me as a spammer (especially as I love posting memes I find on the internet just to spread joy and try to make people laugh) and ban me from community servers because I'm too emotional (when I feel low I have a bad habit of venting just so someone can show some kind of support, as I don't talk to anyone in reality. Unfortunately there's a lot of people who can't stand people like me, since my depression is triggering for them, so they throw me out, never speaking to me again.

This of course made me feel worse about myself and I've been isolating myself. Due to my lack of socialising (I've always had problems with making friends) I find peace with the characters I fall in love with in video game. Mostly because I can relate to them. I believe that everyone has their mains. Their number one character(s) they love the most. That's the main reason why I love the games I play.

I'm going to give Tumblr a go. I know that people often use this place for fanart however, I'm a really terrible artist so I won't post any of mine. Also I'm extremely reluctant in showing off any random fanart I find online because I learnt the hard way that it's extremely rude to just post other people's art without crediting them. I'm deeply sorry.... I didn't get a manual of online art posting etiquette so I was completely clueless and I'm permanently ashamed of it. It was because I was so used to copying and pasting any nice pictures I saw online onto my private discord server. So I wasn't used to big communities (an example of my dumb brain however it's wired differently and I take things literally so I'm just not going to post any fanart whatsoever in public) yes.. I am terrified of being told off, and it's got only worse after getting banned from four discord video game communities. I'm also an ex mod so I can tell whenever a server mod is more into status than actually caring for the community.

I'm sick of explaining everything about myself as a human being who just happened to be born a little bit different than most people who spend their whole lives on social media. I'm sensitive, outspoken and I just want a place in the gaming community who will just accept people like me. I'm the kind of person who speaks their mind and when upset or angry I tend to say nasty things at people but I immediately regret it.

At least here i can just post random crap that's on my mind. About my favourite video games and characters while people can choose whether they want to hang out or not.

I'm a kind hearted person who looks out for everyone. I allow people to vent if ever they feel sad or alone. I hate to see people get hurt and I'd love to see them get well ❤️‍🩹. I will never push anyone away just because they are being too "triggering" while I understand that these things can upset other people it still doesn't make it right to criminalise the person who is in need of support from other humans. Treat others how you'd want to be treated. Yes I do talk about deep topics if I must, I am into horror game lore after all so I've heard it all. However hopefully I'll warn everyone if something I'm about to talk about is too dark.

I'm going to say this as well. I apologise if I type too much. Because of the way I am I go into as much detail about pretty much everything as possible. Yes, I've had nasty comments about it.

I DO make videos on YouTube but at the moment I've shut myself down from it. Hopefully if I feel better I'll open it up again.

Anyway I'm glad to get most of that personal shit out of the way just so that you have an understanding of what to expect from me, I'm certainly not mainstreamer. For the most part I'm just a geek for multiple video games.

P.S I suck with hashtags by the way.

[misguidedasgardian]

The Lifeaters (I.4)

IV. Pumpkins, mischief, and trolls

MASTERLIST

Chapter Summary: You were testing barriers

Pairings: Draco Malfoy x Fem!Reader (platonic)

Warnings: Cursing, magical objects, Mugglephobia, injuries in Quidditch

Wordcount: 2.6 k

Notes: Here we go again muahaha This ofc isn’t getting enough traction and I get it… I really hope that it does later on because I'm really excited  :( 

You were in the astronomy tower with Blaise, Draco and Matthew, you had brought, as promised, your telescope and were trying to explain the homework to Matt, that was only mocking the boys and not paying attention, it was sort of frustrating

When he spoke to you, Draco quickly answered for you, or simply stood between the both of you, you didn’t understand why, but finally he managed to see the constellation he picked and wrote down some things in a parchment, and then it became late and you had to come back to the commonroom so you wouldn’t be caught after hours out of bed.

Blaise and Matthew walked in front of you, and you managed to grab Draco and pull him back, as soon as you were walking by his side you asked him, point blank

“Are you ashamed of me?”, you asked bluntly, he looked at you frowning, like that was the most stupid thing you had ever say

“Why would you think that?”, he snapped

“You never introduced me to your other friends”, you said quickly

“I did! you know Crabbe and Goyle”, he said easily

“But not Nott and Zabini”, you corrected, “Or Matthew”

“He is different”, he said, quickly, “I didn’t know it was so important”

“I feel like I’m an outsider”, you said

“YOU ARE NOT!”, he snapped

“Is it because we don’t know who my father was?”, you asked shyly

“We know he was one of the sacred 28 that is enough for me!”, he said back, yes actually that is the only thing you knew about him, him and the fact you didn't have any direct family like grandparents or uncle and aunts

“But still…”, you murmured

He had this guilty look on his face, after he told you you couldn’t borrow his racing broom he had at the manor, when he didn’t want to share but he felt guilty because it was you

“You are my best friend”, he said, as he was actually not only apologizing but giving an explanation. 

You decided to drop it, as you got to the common room and separated to go to your own rooms.

“Good night”, you said shyly

“Good night”, said Draco and Blaise as they walked towards their room, and Matthew just stood there and watched you go inside your room.

The very next day, you had defense against the dark arts, which you, by reading your book, thought it was going to be the most interesting class, but alas, you had Professor Quirrel

He wasn’t a bad teacher, but the way he spoke nervously, and stuttered a lot, made you nervous and it was hard to follow his instructions, and he always spoke sentences as questions, so you didn’t know if he was making a statement

But you did well in his class

And just like that, weeks went by and now you were enjoying the Hallowe'en feast, you loved Halloween, you loved to carve the pumpkins, and the candy, and you felt like it was the only day of the year in which wizards and witches could mingle in the muggleborn without being treated as weird

The muggles were the weird ones, you thought 

Anyways, tomorrow, the classes were suspended because of the holiday, and you were going to go to the pumpkin patch outside of Hargrid’s house to grab pumpkins to carve and bewitch. It was one of the few activities that were available for first and second years since you weren’t allowed to go to Hogsmeade, the little town near the castle grounds 

Draco did not want to go, under any circumstances to go near “Harry Potter’s best friend Hagrid”, but you did, so he was forced to accompany you and Millicent, who also showed interest

“I dare you to eat one of those”, mocked Mathhew to Draco, pointing at a bowl of magical gummy eyes, they were enchanted to look and move like real eyes, but they were made of gummy, but they give you the creeps because of how… wet… they looked

“No way!”, laugh Draco, “I’ll give you my next treat box if you eat one”, you giggled as you grabbed a huge black and orange lolly as a dessert

“TROLL IN THE DUNGEON!”, a scream interrupted everyone as professor Quirrel entered the great hall running desperately, “TROLL IN THE DUNGEON!”, he screamed again as he was running to the huge table where the teachers were, “I thought you should now!”, he said wobbly, and collapsed to the floor

You exchanged concerned looks with Draco and you both screamed at the top of your lungs in desperation alongside all of the students

A troll! They were huge, smelly and dangerous!

“SILENCE!”, Screamed Professor Dumbledore, “Everyone will please, not panic. Now, Prefects will lead their houses back to the dormitories. Teachers will follow me to the dungeons”, he concreted, and your own Prefect did his best, though you all pushed each other to exit the hall, considering that your common room was actually near the dungeons 

But you didn’t encounter any trolls on your way there, and then you were safe inside it.

The very next day, the only thing everyone was talking about, is how Potter single handedly defeated the mountain troll that sneaked into the school, Draco was frowning all day in the pumpkin patch until you brought the pumpkins back to the common room.

It was a fun afternoon, MIlicent and you had carved the pumpkins, and Umbra was perched on your chair, eating the seeds you had leftover, it was quite funny actually.

You carved a toothy grin on your pumpkin, with sharp eyes, it looked a bit diabolical, MIlicent opted for a more complacent face for hers.

“You have the spell?”, you asked, just when Draco came back accompanied by Blaise, Theo, Matthew, Greg, Vince, Pansy and Daphne

“What are you both doing?”, asked Theo, making you both blush, it was no secret that he was the cutest boy in your class

“Head full of seeds, a funny bloke, make this pumpkin talk and joke!”, she chanted pointing at her pumpkin with her wand, and in a second the pumpkin started moving its face

“Welll…. hello!”, he said with a sharp voice, you gasped, surprised, taking out your wand, when the pumpkin started to speak rapidly, looking all around 

“Wicked!”, muttered Crabb, and everyone grabbed a pumpkin and started carving 

“Head full of seeds, a funny bloke, make this pumpkin talk and joke!”, you repeated religiously, and surely enough, the face of your pumpkin started moving, showing you an even wider, more devilish smirk

“Hello little lady”

“Would you tell me a joke?”, you asked

“No… but I know some good ol’ limericks that might interest you”, you were concerned to say the least, “There was a professor at Hogwarts, who had a complete set of Rose Quartz, he cleaned them and used them, but then he stored his…”

“NO!”, you interrupted him, afraid he would say something naughty

Your friends made their own Pumpkins, and they they brought them to life

Let’s just say that didn’t end well, you learn like 20 naughty words, and the noise got so loud, Professor Snape quashed all your pumpkins because they started singing dirty songs and jokes who made all the people in the painting to go away embarrassed and upset 

That was very funny, you had never laughed so much in your life, to see Snape’s face 

You giggled when you remembered it 

The other thing you did while you had free time, is to search for the trophies in the common room, specially the ones of Quidditch, your house won a lot! you had to train A LOT this summer so next year you were going to be able to make it to the team, as it was yours and Draco’s dream.

Only one year the Slytherin team had won every year, and you manage to steal a picture of the yearbook 1978 of the library of it, and you managed to actually ask the prefect to see that year’s playbook, and studied the plays, which he found odd, but didn’t say anything

Speaking of Quidditch….

Today was your first Quidditch game! not as players but as spectators, much to Draco’s dismay and pouts 

Your first Quidditch Game! 

But you were excited nonetheless, you were going to play against Gryffindor, the best game of the year!, and you couldn’t wait, maybe Potter would fall of his broom

So you put on your favorite piece of clothing of the uniform, the thick wooden gray and emerald green scarf, you fixed your hair in a way that it wouldn’t bother your eyes, because it might be windy up there in the boxes, and you ran out of the girl’s rooms to meet Draco in the Common Room

Soon you were cheering up in the boxes when the Slytherin team show up first, obviously, and they started flying around the field

You and Draco and the rest of your year were all in attendance in the same box and cheered loudly for the team, they looked so cool! you loved the dark green and the capes flying behind them, you couldn’t wait to join the team next year! 

A boy Lee Jordan, from Gryffindor, was narrating the match, and you thought it was like watching a game between England and Bulgaria narrated by a Bulgarian, so… Madam Hooch, your teacher from the flying lessons, was refereeing, as she stood in the middle of the field.

She had her broom in her hand, and the players of both teams got together around her ina  circle, the seeked even higher from the ground. 

Soon she grabbed the Quaffle, and threw it into the air, starting the game. 

A girl from the Gryffindor teams snatched it pretty quickly, she was fast and you really admired that.

You found Quidditch really breathtaking, professional players were so quick and smooth, and this was proven to be no different, your first Hogwarts Quidditch match! wow.

"And the Quaffle is taken immediately by Angelina Johnson of Gryffindor -- what an excellent Chaser that girl is, and rather attractive, too --"

"JORDAN!"

"Sorry, Professor., giggled the narrator, "And she's really belting along up there, a neat pass to Alicia Spinnet, a good find of Oliver Wood's, last year only a reserve -- back to Johnson and -- no, the Slytherins have taken the Quaffle, Slytherin Captain Marcus Flint gains the Quaffle and off he goes -- Flint flying like an eagle up there -- he's going to sc- no, stopped by an excellent move by Gryffindor Keeper Wood and the Gryffindors take the Quaffle -- that's Chaser Katie Bell of Gryffindor there, nice dive around Flint, off up the field and -- OUCH -- that must have hurt, hit in the back of the head by a Bludger -- Quaffle taken by the Slytherins -- that's Adrian Pucey speeding off toward the goal posts, but he's blocked by a second Bludger -- sent his way by Fred or George Weasley, can't tell which -- nice play by the Gryffindor Beater, anyway, and Johnson back in possession of the Quaffle, a clear field ahead and off she goes -- she's really flying -- dodges a speeding Bludger -- the goal posts are ahead 149 -- come on, now, Angelina -- Keeper Bletchley dives -- misses -- GRYFFINDORS SCORE!" 

How could he breathe? you wondered 

The Gryffindors cheered loudly, luckily they were on the other side of the field, they were so annoying.

You saw both seekers, Potter and Higgs, flying above them all, watching carefully their surroundings for the sneakiest of the balls, the golden snitch

you looked back to the field and to your joy, your captain Marcus Flint took hold of the Quaffle, as he evaded a Bludger throw at him by one of the Weasley Twins

The father of the Weasleys had been to your house in the name of the ministry, searching for strange artifacts; your grandfather had to come all the way from France to recover dear artifacts that were family treasures. He was so upset it required weeks to convince him to let you stay in England.

But anyways, back to the game in question….

"Slytherin in possession," Lee Jordan was saying, "Chaser Pucey ducks two Bludgers, two Weasleys, and Chaser Bell, and speeds toward the -- wait a moment -- was that the Snitch?"

The game seemed to stop as Pucey dropped the quaffle as he looked over his shoulders at the golden dop flying furiously and randomly.

Slytherin’s seeker darted towards it, faster that you had ever seen, and Potter too.

He had a Nimbus, and that gave him clear advantage.

A professor had given him that broom, was that even fair? You shook your head trying o wipe those thoughts out of your mind, and then… Flint scored for Slytherin

The entire box and the one next to it exploded in cheers and chants 

Flint was waiting for a pass from Pucey, intercepting Harry and he got himself an infraction for interfering, you growled in frustration 

The bludgers started to take more stage, flying more furiously as Gryffindor took possession again and the game became quicker and even more violent, of course the Slytherin were on edge because of the skills of Harry, which surprised everyone as it was his very first game

And then, loud gasps and shouts took everyone’s attention to Potter. When you managed to spot him, he was flying frantically, it seemed like he had lost control of his broom! you wanted to laugh, his broom was failing him! but then you gasped when he almost fell from it, barely hanging on with one of his hands, he was too high in the air! he could really harm himself if he falls

“What's happening to Potter?”, asked Zabini

“Too much broom for such a little Git”, mocked Draco and everyone laughed 

He started zigzagging in the air and everyone saw it, screaming and gasping, the Gryffindors asking for a timeout

But when Madame Hooch did anything to prevent it, the game kept going, Slytherin had taken possession again and 

You were winning! with 90 points and Gryffindor by 30, it was so exciting! you were wondering if they could manage to make more points that the snitch was worth, as you saw Terence HIggs and he was flying randomly, clearly he didn’t have the snitch on sight

You turned back to look at Potter and he seemed to have regain balance and control of his broom

You couldn’t believe that barely weeks ago he didn’t even know what Quidditch was and now he was playing for Seeker in Gryffindor

The snitch apparently showed itself to Potter, as he and even Terence spotted and started chasing it quickly 

They both were pretty high in the air and darted downwards towards the ground quickly, HIggs stopped but Potter kept going, his arm in the air ready to catch it. 

He fell to the ground, and he looked like he was going to be sick and then, to everyone’s surprise, he coughed up the snitch. 

"I've got the Snitch!" he shouted, waving it above his head

Nobody really knew what was going on

"He didn't catch it, he nearly swallowed it", your captain fought hard for the “win” to be dismissed, but the win was proclaimed and there was no turning back

Draco, instead of sad because we lost, he had that face that told you he was cooking up a plan

“The team is there, we need a better seeker”, and he was going to be that seeker next year

You smiled back at him

We still had two more games to watch, against Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff

You still had chances to win the Quidditch cup

[witchhatproductions]

Witch Hat News #5 - In Sickness and in Health

by Tata Calthrop

This is an archived version of our microfiction newsletter! You can read along on our tumblr, or subscribe here.

Hey there! It's been a few months since you last heard from us, hasn't it? How have you been? I'll go first: I've been bad! Let's talk about creativity and mental health.

I don't speak much about my mental health publicly, but let me summarise it for you; I was a very happy teenager who plummeted into clinical depression at about age nineteen and never fully recovered, and it sucks.

That said, the consequence of this is that I've been in therapy for years and read dozens of books about psychology for both patients and professionals, so even if I'm depressed, I'm also wise as all hell.

(I suspect if I weren't depressed, I would probably be completely zen.)

I have an excellent relationship with my creative craft, and my evidence for this is that I am both alive and still actively creating things. A lot of people never learn to manage the balance.

Many of the artists and writers I meet are weighed down heavily by the burden of not being good enough. "I'm an artist, but I get so anxious that I only draw once every few months, and then usually throw it away," my friends will tell me, ashamed. "I'm not good at it."

"I'm not really a writer," say the people I meet on discord. "I have this idea for a story that I've had for years, and I've written down some small things, but not anything I can show anyone – I'm not good enough yet."

On the other end of the scale are the creatives who push themselves through constant burnout, who neglect eating and sleeping in order to create as fast and voraciously as possible. A "successful career" may be built on five hours of sleep a day and constant, haunting guilt about keeping up engagement and output.

I think it's very easy to hide in hard work. You can have terrible self-care and self-awareness and be falling apart in every area, but if you work hard, and succeed, you never need to feel guilty about the other stuff. 

You know who can create constantly, yet never get tired? Artists and writers who can spend hours every day effortlessly making things, while also being entirely present in their own lives? Children.

Human beings are born with the constant urge to be creative. It's pretty well-studied that imaginative play and brain development are directly linked in small children. It's in their nature to engage in make-believe.

Very few four-year-olds freeze in front of a blank piece of paper, because they know how terrible it feels to be bad at drawing and don't know where to begin with the idea they had without failing utterly. That's a particular madness we learn as we grow up.

I'm biased, but I firmly believe that playfulness is what makes us human. What we describe as "intelligence" in other animals is often correlated with their adaptability – their ability to conceptualise and understand things they've never experienced before, and maybe didn't even know were possible.

This, too, correlates with playfulness. Dolphins, crows, octopuses, and great apes – all very different animals – play games. Despite all having taken wildly different evolutionary paths to get there, they have all separately developed play.

To be human is to create. To imagine is to be human. So that's my way of not worrying about my creative output – whether I'm making enough, whether I'm good enough. I do not create art in order to sell it, or to gain praise for making it, although I would welcome it if either of those things started happening to me regularly.

My art does not need to be good, or valuable. It has the same value and function as the paintings I made at preschool when I was four; it is the byproduct of my humanity.

Let go of the idea of being a "good artist". Nobody is a good artist. The only thing any of us is really good at is being human, which tends to get in the way of the other stuff.

"How do I create more, without letting anxiety or laziness get in the way?"

I'm here again, writing my newsletter. How long until another mental health break knocks me flat again, I don't know. But right now, I feel motivated to put words to paper (or words to mailing list, as it were), and I'm going to follow that feeling until it's gone.

My advice to you is to do the same. Joy is a very precious gift; to enjoy creating something is divine. You are human, and that is enough. Put aside your doubts. Create ambitiously, stupidly, passionately, in any way you can, as long as you're having fun; and once you learn to have fun, the trick of learning how to create more and better is a very simple one. 

So, here: Three things that spoke to me about the subject of mental illness, death, and the arts. Let's drink to our good health, eh?

Recommendations

So Sad Today: Personal Essays by Melissa Broder. A series of devastating essays about illness, addiction, dysfunction, and brutal, intimate, visceral emotion. I have few words for this one. I found it indescribably powerful.

Sawbones have an excellent episode about personal mental health stories. This one's much easier to listen to, but it's still quite personal, as these things tend to be. It spoke to me as someone who, at the time, kept a lot of my issues completely secret.  

To The Moon by Freedbird Games: At the dying wish of a old man, two scientists must navigate and rewrite his memories of life. A short, funny video game, with very charming characters and hilarious jokes and – genuinely – one of the most sad and beautiful character dramas I've ever experienced in video game form. 

Your project here. Do you make art of any kind - visual, written, performed? Are you starting a project or recruiting co-creators? We want to hear from you! Email us at contact@witchhatproductions.com.

That's it from me. I'll see you on the flip side, however far away that is. I'm not giving up! And neither should you!

[iguessitsjustme]

Back for more! This time... violence. ⚔

8, 17, 18, 19 if you please!

Ooo more!

Again, I will post with minimal to no explanation:

8. common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about

Apparently the fandom is wrong about what/who a green flag character is (some of the characters in the poll had me side eyeing this fandom really hard I must say)

17. there should be more of this type of fic/art

This is gonna sound bad but all of it. And I mean this in a "I want more people to be confident posting their creations" kind of way and not a "let me see your creations!!!" kind of way. I have never once seen bad fanart or read a bad fic. I see the love put into them and it makes me so happy. Also a lot of people are incredibly talented like holy shit.

18. it's absolutely criminal that the fandom has been sleeping on...

Oh ummm....so many but honestly I understand why a lot of people don't watch some of the shows I enjoy. Also I'm kind of out of touch at all times so I might say something that is not being slept on. Let me go with Deep Night. It came out earlier this year (and even I watched it late) but it's got poly! Canon poly!

19. you're mad/ashamed/horrified you actually kind of like...

I feel like it's very important to note that I do not feel shame. Or it is very difficult to get me to feel shame. Especially over things I like. I like what I like and if someone has a problem with that or thinks I'm cringe or whatever than that seems like their issue. But if I HAVE to choose something...ummm...Secret Crush On You? I mean I love that show and I actually have convinced at least one person to power through the first three episodes. That show should be cringe but I don't care I love it. It's just everything to me.

Violence Ask Game

[tottymatsuno]

Since I'm not as over it as I initially thought I was another aspect of this is once you really get down to it, at least from my personal experience with this concept is that when people are honest when they don't reblog/compliment your posts but are camped out in your notes or reblog your friends posts from you.

Is that often the reason why is exactly what I feared. I had multiple people tell me straight up they thought my art was ugly. I had people tell me while they found my comics funny, that I needed to go back and learn the basics such as how to draw a circle. I had people who told me my art isn't aesthetically pleasing, or it embarrasses them to reblog until other people did it first.

These same people who then begged me to continue to post so they can access the art & writing they deemed unworthy. The person who told me I needed to learn how to draw circles also suggested that I spent my time tracing bases from clip studio, and went on to tell me to never stop creating. In their tags on one of my fics they said "give it a chance, it's not that bad!"

I'm disabled. I have 75% grip strength in my right hand, 90% in my left, some days it's better, some months it's worse. I write a lot because it's easier. I have a heart condition that mimicks rheumatoid arthritis in my joints that I've got to physical therapy over.

Not that it effects much of anything, but I stopped posting serious art specifically because I'd been told "it's much harder for fic writers to get seen, fan artists have it better" and it shattered my heart bc there were pieces I uploaded, that weren't self insert, that I spent hours on and only for 3 likes.

What does get reblogged are my low effort jokes. And then people had no idea I actually have a serious art style, which then became a "Well, Robin can't draw so it's okay to talk to him like that if I frame it 'nicely'. He'll respond kindly to my critiques."

I get incredibly anxious posting my art that I worked hard on specifically because of these things so I don't do it often. I try not to post things close to my heart online anymore specifically because of how I was treated, both directly and indirectly.

I have friends I trust now, and friends that I really care about but even with them I don't really post often in a group setting because of how sensitive I am to what I perceive as rejection.

Ik my art isn't the best, I know my doodles aren't that great, but I don't think my story is unique. I think the way that fandoms treat the artists who prop them up has changed a lot. I think people have become consumers and don't particularly care that there are real human beings with real circumstances which extend beyond their usernames on their screen

So its become easier to chew them up and spit them out - there will be 10 more in their place by tomorrow.

I went through the tags of that other post I reblogged and the universal answer was "if I like something it's just fine, if I reblog it then it's worth putting on my blog" which is another direct confirmation of the very thing I was paranoid of.

I also saw several "if you get your motivation tied up in the likes/reblog game then you're wrong" and advice on how reblogs are.... Advertisement? Or promotion? And not just how content is spread across the platform? Which was strange because literally if everyone only posted and liked, there would be no tumblr.

That isn't how people frame the likes and reblogs. When I reblog a post about Osomatsu’s long tits I'm not giving the op advertisement on Oso's saggy boobs? It's not like I'm promoting long cup bras 😭

Anyways, the entitlement of having new content to consume, and then not providing your half of the bargain in the way the OP would like - its at odds.

When i realized, and have been proven correct in the assumption that when a post is exclusively liked that means it isn't good enough to be reblogged

I didn't stop creating. I didn't stop writing or drawing, or really anything. There is a huge archive of things I've made that I just don't have the energy to post for 3 notes. Idk if yall ever tried to upload fics onto tumblr but it's not easy. The formsting and tumbles half baked 3 text post editors that don't accomplish anything on their own was a hassle and took forever.

I write for my friends, and I write for myself. Writing for myself was the big advice I'd been given, not to tie up my self worth with it, that I didn't need or shouldn't need the validation that came from comments & reblogs and that 4 notes was a fair exchange for four hours of effort.

But I always write & draw for myself. I just don't post it anymore. I remember people were begging me not to stop making things when the truth was they were begging me to POST what I'd been making. It felt very much like I was being a treated like a content mill instead of a person who they could be friends with. So now I have several friends I exchange/do trades for or just show my stuff too! it's pretty easy to become my friend and with just a little encouragement I'd share any and all of my works, but I upload what I don't care about or I upload stuff for my friends.

Anyways the post really reminded me that artists were correct in the assumption likes meant it wasn't good enough. Yall said so yourselves