#(it's basically a 'tell me how my portrayal is' meme

[cxdemusings]

🎉

[scarycranegame]

here's part 2 of my 50 follower special!! for people who've just joined us here, i present to you...

MY BEEFY DIE FANDOM OPINIONS MEME!! ft. an in-depth explanation of each entry

sorry for slightly off-model drawings, it was my first time drawing a lot of these guys so. bear with me LMAO

explanations under the cut!

favorite character:

okay you probably saw this one coming but. yes. the rumor come out. i enjoy yellow face immensely. and it's not just because hes a silly goober guy (even though he is that too); it's mostly because i think he fits my personal favorite character archetype of "morally dubious business guy who's at least a little bit mentally unstable" particularly well, specifically in the sense that he does it in a way that isn't the stereotypical "sophisticated mastermind bad-boy sexyman" schtick... like. he's weird. he's unapologetically weird. he's a very non-standard character design in a world of already unorthodox characters, and he manages to give off an ominous yet innocuous vibe without being too on-the-nose about it; and on top of that, the show doesn't even really take it too seriously, so it doesn't really overstay its welcome for me :) also i just think hes really cute lol

liked by everyone but me:

alright this is a really unpopular opinion.. i get why people like them, but i just. don't, personally. since x is in another entry i'm just gonna cover four here. for starters, i really don't like four's voice; it's the one "annoying" voice in the series that i just can't look past.. besides that, though, i feel like his redemption arc & sympathetic portrayal in post-split doesn't really make sense for his character? because he doesn't really seem to feel bad, and the rest of the characters just. instantly forgive him without any notion that he actually intends to improve as a person... and then he doesn't, because in tpo.t, he goes right back to hurting people the exact same way with absolutely no consequences or remorse; basically making that whole arc irrelevant. like.. something's not adding up here. either post split or tpo.t's portrayal is incorrect.

didn't like at first:

this one was kind of a tough choice for me because i don't remember ever genuinely disliking a contestant when i initially got into this show? but i can say that i did find gelatin to be kind of. annoying. and the best part is that it's for a really silly reason that, in retrospect, doesn't even make too much sense? like. okay i first got into this show in middle school, and my first ever season was b.fb, and when i first saw it i was a HUGE donut stan (part of me still is LOL); so when i saw him yelling at gelatin all the time i just sort of. inexplicably started disliking gelatin for absolutely no reason. literally that's it that's the whole reason i initially didn't like gelatin. anyways hes one of my favorite characters now and honestly i couldn't tell you why (also sorry hes. very poorly drawn in this image. it was my first time drawing a lot of these characters)

would like to know more about:

golfie!! i like her a lot; i related to her a bunch when i first watched the show (especially since my best friend at the time was basically a carbon copy of tennis ball), and i'm really intrigued by her need for constant control over everyone on any given team she's part of, and how she began her career in science/inventing! it seems interesting that more recent bfd.ia seems to make this dichotomy between her and tennis ball, suggesting that she's more skilled than he is and/or has been inventing things for longer than he has.. also ofcourse there's the whole science museum "bozo" debacle from i.dfb, which shouldn't come as a surprise in that it intrigues me just as much as everything else about her character... maybe that's why she's so obsessed with being in control? also who the hell was after her in that scene?

least favorite character

people are really not gonna like me for this, but i genuinely hate x with every fiber of my being LMAO.. while it is mostly for personal reasons, it's also because 1. much like four, i find his voice really annoying, and 2. he kind of. never really does anything. he's sort of just a plot device at best, and at worst he literally just stands there and does nothing. even when he's the host in b.fb 9, he's tragically inept and does nothing of note at all. he's barely a character without four around (he literally sits down and gives up in the last few episodes of b.fb), and it's really disappointing because he could've been an interesting character foil to four! but he just. wasn't. all he really was is a "cute uwu cinnamon roll".

like the design, dislike the character

okay this one's a little biased because i'm still mad that bomby was partially why yellow face got eliminated in bfd.ia 9, but besides that, i think a bomb character is a really good concept!! a contestant that's both useful in a practical sense and useful in terms of themselves as an individual!! ...too bad bomby is basically just 2 running jokes in a bomb-shaped trenchcoat. literally, as far as i'm concerned, the only time he's ever actually done anything is when he explodes; and besides that he's just sort of. there to fill up empty space (and also get yellow face eliminated that one time in the stupidest possible way). i get it, it's an object show, but i really would've enjoyed bomby a lot more if he had a distinct personality instead of being. well. little more than an object.

like the character, dislike the design

this one i also struggled with but i eventually settled on naily! in terms of her character, i think she's an absolute delight to watch, and she's one of the rare instances of a running joke not overstaying it's welcome and actually seeming charming and witty!! i think she's a good example of a quirky and cute yet mischievous character, which i see a lot of people attempting to do with characters of their own and missing the mark just a little bit. in short, she really does nail it in terms of characterization!! the only gripe i have though is her design.. something about how her legs are kind of. behind each other. and how her face/head is just. flat. it really doesn't sit right with me.. and i don't even really know how i would change it! it's just.. slightly offputting to me.

similar personality

ironically (due to my previous entry), i think that the character i'm most like in terms of personality is price tag!! i consider myself to be pretty expressive and upbeat (or at least, i try to be a lot of the time; if i get too stoic i tend to get sad and that kinda results in a Not Great Time™), and as you might've been able to tell by the things i do here on this blog, i'm just a bit mischievous. a little bit silly. one might even say devious. but what you don't know is that in most situations where there's a bit of a problem, i tend to try and think of the most creative but rational solution (doing so, as far as i'm aware, results in a higher chance of compromise among others)! (also, yes, i can indeed do the :3 face)

fav ship

i've been a fries/puffball enjoyer since day 1, i'm not even gonna lie here LMAO.. to be fair, i enjoy a lot of other ships very immensely, too, but something about the fact that they seem to respect each other as equals and be on the same page a lot of the time just really gets me... like. they give power couple vibes; instead of trying to gain some sort of leverage over the other or reveling in the leverage they might already have over the other, they seem to decide to be strong together and sort of. combine their strength. and yeah i know people are gonna argue "b-but c.oinpin!!" well what about the bfd.ia thing from tpo.t 2. they never actually resolved that. dont even get me started on f.ireafy (someone else made a really good post on them) or t.engolf ("gb always said it was handy to treat your friend like a tool!!!") p.uffries forever lol

least fav ship

oh this one's biased as hell because. you know how i am about yellow face. but i actually have a legitimate reason to dislike y.ellowclock besides that!! okay so i made an analysis document that i've never released here regarding yellow face as a character, and while making that document i noticed that. during tpo.t 2, when clock is bitching about winner leaving to go recover bottle, yellow face backs away, which, to me, implies that he's. kinda sick of clock's shit. he doesn't wanna deal with his and winner's drama. and then in tpo.t 3 he straight up says clock is a boring person. and yeah people cite that episode as like. y.ellowclock genesis or whatever. but then if that was true then what the hell is up with yellow face in tpo.t 10? he still doesn't seem to care about clock and winner!! honestly it just never made any sense to me..

would befriend irl

okay im gonna be honest. i really like two as a host.. i liked them from the beginning!! even when they were kinda snarky and condescending, they were a lot nicer than four, and were even willing to give up their power as a prize for a silly little contest!! and that's not even mentioning their dynamic with gaty and their sympathy towards clock in tpo.t 7.. just. they genuinely seem really generous and caring and i think they'd be really cool to hang out with and talk to... coincidentally they're also one of my favorite characters (and my favorite host as well) so that's a plus also; 10/10 would help them plan the next beefy die season

would never befriend irl

even though i love blocky with all my heart as a character, i don't think i wanna be involved in potentially lethal pranks... it would either end in him killing me or both of us going to jail forever.. or, alternatively, if i tried to go the "i can fix him" route, i'd end up paying an ungodly amount of money for his therapy bill (i doubt he'd pay with his own money, even though his show probably makes a lot of money lmao) and then just never get paid back... or, alternatively, i'd end up in the same boat as woody when he joined the blocky corporate conglomerate (at least, prior to b.fb 29.. actually i feel like i should mention that i'm talking specifically about blocky pre-split and back, he actually seems pretty okay in post-split)

...and that's it!!

it's been a wild ride (and a pretty long one too) but i really hope you enjoyed reading this, even if you have different opinions from mine! again, thank you all so much for getting me to 50 followers; i'm so grateful that all of you have decided to tune in to the nonsense words that i post every so often, and i hope you'll stick around long enough to see the next milestone special!! <3

[rainbowmewz]

edward nygma (gotham) and OSDD-1a

hi! welcome to my hellhole!! i’ve been thinking about the topic of this post for a while and i just needed to yell about it here bc yelling about it on twitter under a meme post wasn’t enough for me xD

SO! let’s talk about this. i was highly generalizing in the tweet above because i personally don’t think edward nygma suffers from dissociative identity disorder. instead, i believe he suffers from other specified dissociative disorder, specifically subtype 1a.

below the “keep reading”, i will discuss a general overview of DID and OSDD, why i think this is the case for edward nygma, and a review of the representation of it in gotham. be warned that this post has a general trigger warning for discussions of abuse, self-harm, suicide, and drug abuse. this discussion is not in depth at all, but just as a warning if you wanna avoid this post! this post also has a trigger warning for discussions of negative portrayals of DID/OSDD (such as in films like m. night shyamalan’s split and discussions of tropes such as “evil alters”).

OSDD-1 is a subtype of OSDD that is very similar to DID. to get a general gist of what OSDD is, we first have to define DID. DID (dissociative identity disorder), which used to be referred to as MPD (multiple personality disorder), is a dissociative disorder that forms in early childhood as a reaction to prolonged and/or severe trauma (abuse, for example). this causes a child’s brain to split into multiple parts, called alters, and experience amnesia/dissociation between these parts. in OSDD-1 (other specified dissociative disorder), there’s two subtypes, 1a and 1b. in 1a, there’s dissociation between parts, but their parts aren’t as distinct as someone who has DID. on the other end of the spectrum, in 1b, alters are highly distinct but experience little to no amnesia between them. as stated previously, i believe gotham’s portrayal of edward nygma/the riddler has OSDD-1a.

to avoid confusion, in this post, i’ll be referring to the two as a whole as “edward nygma”, “edward”, or “nygma”; i’ll refer to the alter we’re first introduced to as “ed”; and the alter we’re introduced to next as “the riddler” or “riddler”.

while we don’t know anything about edward’s childhood in gotham, many other portrayals of the character (arkhamverse, general comic lore, etc.) mention an abusive past, specifically at the hands of his father. in general comic lore, this abuse explains where his compulsions for showing his intelligence comes from. if this backstory is true for gotham’s portrayal of nygma, which we will assume for this analysis, this is the trauma element of OSDD.

our first introduction to the idea of edward having a dissociative disorder is in season 2 episode 1. while this is our first introduction to the difference between ed and the riddler, the two seem to have a history of co-existing before this scene (ed tells riddler stuff such as: “i get nervous when you talk to me with other people around like that” and “i know where this is going. i told you, leave ms. kringle alone”).

now that we have those basics down (trauma and evidence of a long-standing dissociative disorder), i’ll be referring to an article written by DID-Research.org titled “DID Versus OSDD-1″. this will hopefully help my thoughts be more concise, since i tend to.. go all over the place with this stuff. i tried to write my thoughts on this topic in a discord server before and it went in 50 different directions x3

DID-Research’s article discusses how the parts in OSDD-1a are different from disorders such as borderline personality disorder, posttraumatic stress disorder, and complex posttraumatic stress disorder. while OSDD-1a’s parts are way less differentiated as ones in DID or OSDD-1b, since individuals “are more likely to present as the same individual”, these parts can have “different skills, emotional reactivity, or ways of interacting with the world”. to me, this sounds exactly like what riddler and ed go through throughout gotham. as early as season 2, riddler is shown as more confident, brash, and witty than his counterpart. ed is more focused on living a normal life, he wants to live out this fantasy with kristen, then isabella, then lee. this is all he craves, to be seen as normal and not a freak. riddler on the other hand, isn’t as concerned. sure, he originally wants to pursue kristen, but in a way to introduce a sense of excitement and power in him and ed’s life.

this mention of ed’s craving for a normal life is something.. very interesting as well. according to the theory of structural dissociation, there’s two types of parts a person with OSDD/DID could have. these are referred to as Apparently Normal Parts (ANPs, these alters take care of daily life, often are avoidant (or unaware) of trauma, and have a need to appear high-functioning (sound like anyone we know?)) and Emotional Parts (EPs, these alters represent dissociation and trauma through memories, internalized beliefs, and learned responses). ed seems much like an ANP, while riddler seems more like an EP. an article discussing the differences of ANPs and EPs states that an ANP “might engage in self harm or use psychogenic substances in attempts to forcefully tether themselves to the present and prevent EP from intruding”. this sounds very familiar, does it not? his abuse of hallucinogens in season 3 to see oswald again, using pills again in season 4 to try and get rid of the riddler, and if i remember correctly, plotting to kill himself in season 4 as well.

as i stated, the article talks about how OSDD-1a is different from an identity disturbance in disorders such as BPD, PTSD, and C-PTSD. the article specifically says that people with these disorders might feel a loss of control, but never “feel that different parts of them are capable of acting independently or that different parts of them have and express their own views or goals”. this exact quote proves that what nygma might be experiencing is OSDD-1a. our introduction to the two psyches of edward nygma show their differing goals and views. as another example, in season 5, riddler is completely unaware of ed’s plan to destroy haven and is shown as extremely distraught when he appears in different places without knowledge of what happened beforehand.

so.. it seems obvious that edward nygma has OSDD-1a, right? so... how would i, as a psychology major, someone who possibly has DID/OSDD, and someone who’s known multiple people with DID/OSDD, review this representation?

i’d say... it’s pretty good for what it’s worth!! gotham as a tv show has always dealt with terrible writing and a lot of things could have been written better, but this topic is surprisingly one they handled pretty okay. there was... a lot of room for more and it’s quite strange to see the dissociative disorder representation go to edward nygma instead of a character such as harvey dent (who’s a whole other can of worms and has been stated to have “MPD” in the past).

it’s really refreshing to see representation of DID/OSDD that doesn’t rely on played out and disgusting tropes such as “evil alters”. while it seems like riddler might play out as an evil alter, both ed and riddler are both messed up in their own ways. there’s no evil alter to stop, they’re both.. villains in their own ways (blowing up a place w/ the most vulnerable members of the city vs hiding your dead gf’s body parts over a police precinct, pick your poison). i also enjoy how cory michael smith portrays the two psyches of edward nygma and portrays the way the two switch in and out!

you’re free to disagree with my opinion as well. i’d love to have a discussion in the comments or reblogs :DD!! i just... really enjoyed writing this up. if i missed anything, just tell me :33

[katyspersonal]

3 for Aldrich, Aldia, Willem & Laurence

9 for Maria

11 for Micolash & Aldrich

24 for Laurence

(Asks from this ( x ) meme)

3) What first drew you to this character?

As for Aldrich, I vaguely recall finding out that he checks the traits I like the most? He was one of the characters I've learned about through fandom and not on my own, and I think this ancient meme about summarises it:

Also:

@val-of-the-north SHUDDUP you're basically so horny for Laurence/Logarius/Snatchers that you can't even picture them in your mind in any way but being naked!!!!!!! *casts the stone back at u*

With Laurence, like with Mico, it was the very first glance at the character in Youtube compilation with boss themes and concept art image. I did not know the lore yet, but the design and the music made me imagine Laurence as sort of aged, sagely librarian. I could not imagine back then that his boss fight would be him being a "helpless abhorrent little mewmew" as kids call it! Heck, I thought he'd have dialogue despite the monster form x) In a way, my first impression was not wrong, with the cut content of him actually talking even in a beast form, and implication of him being a son of Cainhurst cut content librarian NPC! I have intuition for cut content before having information, hahaha!

I have nothing to say about Willem. It might be a memory gap thing, but I swear at some point I feel I was turned off and then booted back up with liking this character already installed in my system x) As for Aldia.... ugh for fuck's sake... yeah, it was this legend:

I was absolutely floored by this stupid vid even without knowing any context, but I also instantly liked this character. I didn't even know his name yet, but the voice acting and long yapping about philosophy already pulled me in XD (Also unironically, this video is precisely how I give relationship advice fhfhdds)

9) Does this character remind you of anyone you know? Does that affect how you see them?

Yeah, I know this person. I know them very well. I know them more than anyone else. Someone who was misguided (by their destructive influence mentor figure, by their own foolishness and past history, or combination of both, who can tell anymore?) into committing awful things, then despaired over their sins and attempted redemption but also failed in some way? This person is me. At some point I've found myself in front of horrible truth about my past life and personality, and knew I was guilty and sullied forever. That it was over for me as a human being, but that didn't matter, and I could only keep people safe by locking myself away and trying to serve something better.

......annnnd it took a few years of more informed people to (metaphorically) shake me and slap my face into lucidity, explaining to me that I've fallen for the "BPD demonization" that was going far beyond than my individual failure as a friend, and we are always accused of abuse and causing irreversible harm when the worst we do is being emotionally overbearing. I kept losing trust to those friends, telling them that they were enablers who tried to gaslight me into thinking I was not 'that much of a monster', until it was other people with BPD who 'shook me and slapped my face into lucidity'. xd Nonetheless, even though now I know the truth about how society treats BPDs, I remember the feeling of being so monstrous and harmful that I was not even allowed to "touch" people with my dirty hands, how my reality used to be. So, I could write Maria going through this effortlessly, especially considering what she did was more plain and tangible!

In fact... thank you for asking me about this, because I kept wondering why I had such frequent dreams about being Maria, and why the Maria in my dreams acts like abused child that took back control against Gehrman despite my portrayal of the guy being so different. And now the puzzle is solved! That part of me still lives inside, it seems.

11) How did you “fall in love” with this character?

Already answered this for Micolash here: ( x )! As for Aldrich, it was through properly analysing the bigger picture and context of his actions. I've figured that his madness was, in fact, being informed on what was far too ahead of everyone else around him! He, like the rest of the cast, is trapped in the rotting, doomed world in which the only choices are 1) "die with dignity" or 2) commit something unthinkable from moral standpoint for a chance to escape. And will morality of the rotting world will matter in the new world anyways? Won't it all be left behind and be forgiven?

The guy also tried to take everyone else he could with him, like sort of a fucked up Noah's Arc! I can tell that they reused the concept with Rykard, at least, I am glad they know what works xD I'd say that the sadism he experienced upon eating people was either result of insanity (he understood a thing no one should understand), or still didn't exclude the bigger purpose (egotistically revelling in how holy he is helping everyone and doing what no one else dared, which would be like my Laurence). In any case, I have the strongest respect to the courage it takes to transcend the bonds of morality and compassion in order to to greater good. Being burdened with the knowledge of how the world really works, and choosing to push through instead of still being bound... This is why I also like Fauxsefka; learning how this world works, she chose to turn people into Kin so they can't ever become beasts. I am weak for this trope, you don't understand.

24) Do you ever dream about this character? If so, describe a dream you once had about them.

Laurence appears in my dreams only in two contexts: 1) Micolaurence or 2) dreams about finding secret files in Bloodborne that reveal his canonical appearance before beasthood! I can tell the latter comes from my everlasting unsatisfaction with my design for him, because I love it but it doesn't feel "fitting" and I can't identify why!

The former, I think, fandom rubbing onto me x) In two of these dreams, I was Laurence. In other two, I was Micolash. In one of Laurence dreams it was mutual, in the second one I was in love unrequited. In one of Micolash dreams, it was mutual, and in another it was not.. Basically, my dreams allows me to experience this ship from every possible angle. o_o Waiting for more I guess fhhdfsfd

______________

Thank you for asking! And.. without exaggeration, you've just done quite a psychological work on me by just asking the right thing. I need to think about that, hahaha

[queenharumiura]

👍👌 ;)

[👍👌 ask the mun what they think about portrayals/you (the sending mun)] ||Accepting|| @voraxiia

Let's see... my opinion on your muses/portrayals... can't speak on portrayals because they're all OCs, so it's not like I can judge portrayals based off accuracy by any means, but I certainly can say a thing or two about the characters themselves-- I can try to, anyways.

From recollection, the muses of yours that have appeared on my blog are: Xiao Yao, Dalbar, Miceli, and Luca in order of least interaction to the most.

Xiao Yao isn't on your current roster list, and this was like 4 years ago so unfortunately I don't really remember much about him aside from the fact that he was tall and blond so Haru mistook him for Dino from behind kekeke.

Dalbar seems to be a cute lil dude. A lil quiet, but I do have a certain soft spot for that //motions to some of her silent/less talkative muses. He gave me the feel of an obedient guard/attack dog or something. I feel like he's just someone who would grow on me because like-- he might be the same height as me, and he just seems to be a good natured lil dude. Ignore the fact he's an assassin, HE GUD BOI!

Miceli-- my immediate thought when I think about him is: GRRRRRRR what kind of evollll will he invoke on Haru this time? Is he going to be mean to her and say something sarcastic? Maybe he'll just piss her off somehow gr grrrrrrr. Of course, this isn't to mean that I dislike him, I find him fun. It's amusing having someone who irritates Haru in the Varia verse- and that's mostly anyone. Miceli is starting to grow on her though with the repeated interactions and such. He may be rude to her at times, by saying sarcastic things, but he has moments of showing some level of interest/concern for her? Though, Haru can tell that he's not really interested in her in a way that matters. She gets the feel that he has interest in the way that a scientist does when performing an experiment and something goes wrong and he goes ??? I can relate. //Sad and annoyed chemist noises. As his lil bio blurb says, he is a mysterious one, and the air of his mystery is maintained well. It's a lil harder for me to get a grasp on him as a character, and I think that's what makes it interesting and yet difficult to write with him at times, as I'm not really sure who he is to understand him kekekek. A fun puzzle!

Luca, MY SWEET BOI. WHO I BASICALLY HAVE PARTIAL CUSTODY OVER AT THIS POINT. I adore him very much. MY LIL BBUUUUU!!!! I do know that he's a pretty complex kinda guy and that he has his... issues, but he does do his best! He's been through things and I just want to give him a BIIIIIG hug! He's not allowed to get hurt! The only kinda pain I'll accept is forehead flicks and 'oh look I just killed Haru/Ravein because I wanna see the world burn!!!' 8D Alas... Blaise is a coward and won't let me hurt Haru/Ravein (1000% joking). I think i've seen him absolutely lose it maybe once or twice in the years that we've known each other and I enjoyed it thoroughly. Ehehe~ It's my secret aim to not only get to know him better through interactions/memes but to also make him snap again. I LOVE to see variation in behaviors, so making him snap is a treat. Of course, I still love gud boi Luca who is a pair with the other 'dumber' Ravein. Haru truly has so much to deal with whenever the trio gets together kekw. He is the only one aside from Tenka's Bel and my OC Ravein that Haru feels comfortable with. She's actually affectionate towards all 3 and cares for them. Anyone else, it's just Eh- you exist and I don't really care for you much. He just has the kind of personality that meshes well enough with her that it sparks her protective instinct and the doting energy that Haru has to have regardless of the verse. I love him for that.

-----------------------------------------------------------

How I feel about Blaise--

HELLO MY SWEET!

MY DARLING BLAISE!

We've known each other for years now and though interactions have been on and off during those years, we did still talk OOC quite a bit. So, I feel like, I'd be comfortable in saying yeeeee we friends outside of RPC.

Time differences are truly the bane, however. We both work, and with the field that you're in, it's understandable that you aren't always online or have the bandwidth to talk much.

STILL! The moments you are able to sit down and talk, you've always been just the sweetest lil bean.

I don't think I've ever admitted this to you before--- but better late than never AMIRITE? So we've been mutuals with each other for quite a while now even if it was rather on and off. From my recollection, we were mutuals but didn't really start interacting with eachother until a while into our friendship, likely due to schedules being really busy and what not.

It was also a time when you kept jumping from one blog to another blog so it was a lil hard to keep up with you at times. STILL, the main point is regardless of how many times you've jumped blogs (and you and I both know there's been a number of that over the years), you always did follow me consistently and that's always meant a lot to me.

I've hinted at things here and there in meme answers or conversations i've had with people but I've never actually sat down and spoke about it. I've come extremely close to quitting KHR RPC twice. The first time was when I first joined the RPC (back in like 2014-2015) and it was just... a time. I was feeling really discouraged and there were... incidents that occurred that really hurt me. I'd feel like such a waste of space, or that no one actually cared. If anyone did, it was because of the friends I had (I somehow got along with the Hibari's of the fandom lololol sigh).

Both of them aren't really online anymore but Emi/Emiko and Kiril were the two who I stuck around for. Both of them consistently stayed by my side and enjoyed writing with Haru. They both consistently wrote with me whenever they were able to and enjoyed indulging in my shenanigans. Both of them have left the KHR RPC for a while now.

I came close to leaving again like... a little bit before or at the very start of the pandemic time. We were ALL going through it, honestly. We were all struggling, but it was around that time when the KHR RPC was really really small and I'd gotten out of a really bad time with an RP group that left me with a bit of trauma that took me years to process and get over.

It was hard, because I was going through panic attacks somewhat frequently, and I would occasionally get anon hate- which obviously- isn't very conducive to me conjuring the desire to stick around.

The actual point of all this, is that you're actually one of the reasons why I stuck around. Even though you were struggling and you were having a hard time with life and feeling insecure/unwanted/unneeded/etc you were still trying. It was in a way uplifting to see the fact that you were trying hard even if things were a struggle. You would also talk to me and were in general very kind. I think around this time is where you were really jumping around blogs a lot (I think you were avoiding someone or something like that), but again you still consistently followed me on whichever blog you migrated to.

It really truly meant so much to me at the time when I was feeling so godawful. My old job really-- it was a time. I wasn't in a good place mentally and emotionally. It was you and Emi (the other Emi who is on heartsglass now) who were the reasons I stuck around the 2nd time I got REAL CLOSE to quitting RPC. It may not seem like much, but I always appreciated the fact that you both would follow me, like my OOC posts and sometimes leave replies.

It may seem like such a small and simple thing, but a lot of my OOC posts go unseen. It was quite often that I wouldn't get any likes on my OOC posts or replies. It was exceedingly rare for me to even get asks for memes. I don't think i've mentioned it really but that's the other reason why I don't like memes. Aside from the fact I have trauma associated with the inbox that i'm healing from, I have the mindset of 'no one is going to send in because I write boring responses lol why do I bother reblogging memes lolololol'

But you especially would surprise me by sheer coincidence on the days I was feeling down with a like, a reply, or a meme ask. Emi was the same. By sheer coincidence you both would be a notification on the days I'd think 'maybe I should delete because no one will notice when i'm gone'.

I've never admitted it to you both, but you both are the reasons why I stuck it through during the pandemic years when I was struggling so hard mentally. It's the small stuff that can mean the world to someone.

So whenever I'm in your replies saying that I care for you, love you, and just in general love seeing you on the dash-- EVER, I truly mean it. You're existence made a big impact on this blog by the sheer principle that you helped me have hope that I can exist on this platform and be appreciated.

This is probably the reason why I'm so attached to both Luca and Emi, because idk... I just feel like both of those OCs mean a lot to the both of you and so I just instinctively latched on. Like I imprint the love I have for the both of you onto those muses AHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAAH. I'm being real sappy.

So you know, TLDR: Thank you for existing. Without your existence, I wouldn't be on tumblr today. Anyone who enjoys writing with me now has you and Emi to thank for me not quitting during the pandemic years.

Thanks for everything and I truly just love seeing you on the dash ever. It makes me so happy to see you continue to try.

[hiohaku]

火を吐く ⤻ ⭒ ☾ 𝚄𝚃𝙰𝙷𝙸𝙼𝙴 𝙸𝙾𝚁𝙸 of ' jujutsu kaisen ' , TREATED AS AN ORIGINAL CHARACTER with inspiration found in Japanese mythology & personal headcanons / concepts . unaffiliated with the rpc . oc + crossover friendly : not duplicate friendly . SELECTIVE , PRIVATE + MUTUAL EXCLUSIVE . 𝒎𝒊𝒏𝒐𝒓𝒔 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒑𝒆𝒓𝒔𝒐𝒏𝒂𝒍𝒔 ` DO NOT INTERACT . sang by ford . ( she / they . 25 . cst . ) read rules before interaction . reading headcanons and portrayal posts is highly encouraged as well.

缘分 fates intertwined : kuraokcmi , usagimen

メイン lyrics : ak4rin , chipen

﹙ ¹ ˑ CARRD , ² ˑ INTEREST TRACKER , ³ ˑ PROMPTS ﹚

𝐑𝐔𝐋𝐄𝐒

` ¹ . . basic roleplay etiquette applies . don't be a bully , tag your posts , etc . mutually exclusive ; IF WE NOT MUTUALS PLEASE DO NOT INTERACT . minors aren't welcome + if there's no age on your blog you'll be blocked. I DON'T FOLLOW EVERYBODY BACK !! i prefer to keep my following / followers low , if you don ' t attempt any interaction you'll be softblocked . if you display any kind of toxic / problematic behaviors you will be blocked . i'm not fast ; it doesn't mean i don't want to write with you , i' m just busy in my life outside of tumblr . however my discord is available to mutuals , i also write there + enjoy chatting . don ' t steal or lift anything from my blog , i make + conceptualize everything .

` ² . . partially removed from the canon material , utahime is treated as an original character here with her characterization based around my own ideas , concepts & headcanons [ . . . ] there's an emphasis on japanese mythology + tradition . IF YOU DON ' T LIKE HOW SHE'S WRITTEN DON ' T FOLLOW .

` ³ . . going forward ; i need you to fill out MY INTEREST TRACKER before we interact . it gives me a good base for interactions and i ' m tired of going in circles with people :) . asks / meme prompts are utilized in getting interactions : YOU CAN ALWAYS CONTINUE AN ASK ! that being said : plotted interactions + interactions with mains / exclusives will be prioritized !! + PLEASE let me know if you lose muse for a thread !

` ⁴ . . everything gets tagged but topics and genres that could be upsetting or triggering will be explored here given the source material . tags will be simple to make blacklisting easy ( example : # trigger / . ) this goes for sexual themes as well , though i prefer to write those themes with muns i ' ve talked to .

` ⁵ . . shipping status is EXCLUSIVE MULTISHIP , unless stated otherwise , if you see a romantic relationship being written : THAT IS THE ONLY PORTRAYAL I 'LL WRITE ROMANTICALLY WITH . along with the sexual content , i prefer to ship with people who i ' ve talked to !! i find that it keeps things more organized and helps the relationship flow better , i have a difficult time shipping with somebody i don ' t talk to . chemistry + development between muses is important to me + is required : i prefer writing most of the development within interactions rather than jumping into shipping , it helps with the foundation of a relationship and such . if you want to ship i need you to tell me " i want to ship " . i ' m interested in developing other types of dynamics other than romantic though and encourage you to reach out to me with any ideas . THIS DOES NOT MEAN YOU CANT SEND ME SHIP ORIENTED THINGS !! I ‘ ll still answer anything in my ask — but we are not shipping until it ‘ s discussed !!

↪ if you see i ' m writing a dynamic / relationship you ' d also be interested in exploring , i write in private servers on discord and will happily write them there too . simply reach out to me <3

` ⁶ . . i have no tolerance for drama . if there ' s ever anything i do that hurts you , upsets you , offends you , etc . please communicate with me . that ' s my biggest + most important rule : COMMUNICATION . i ' m not the best with tone and it ' s easy to misunderstand things on the internet , please just communicate with me . IM NOT PRO - CALLOUT , while i read them if they circulate , i do not reblog them : just because i do not interact with these posts does not mean i condone their actions . if i ' m interacting with somebody who ' s problematic or dangerous , let me know . i have been involved in drama in the past and will elaborate if needed .

[delusionaid]

✖☠♢☢✿ teehee <333

salty munday meme

You just want to see the world burn~

✖ How has Tumblr RP changed since you started?

My gods, where do I start? When I started we all had ridiculous URLs with 4 dashes in each, we all used random huge gifs as reactions, nobody formatted anything or used small text, and a LOT of people I knew were actually in RP groups and not independent blogs. None of the common staples of RP now were a thing the people I used to write with thought about, I feel: blog rules were none-existent or very very short and basic, exclusivity was not that big a thing (except for the group RPs), blog graphics really didn't matter.

Obviously I can't speak for all of tumblr and all fandoms, but that was my experience in the early days. It felt very low effort and low pressure but high fun. There was a lot less drama than nowadays too, from what I remember, and the overall atmosphere was quite welcoming and.. silly.

☠ What does someone have to do for an instant unfollow from you?

Be rude or mean or cruel or overall obnoxious to me or others. I don't agree with everyone on everything and I don't expect that from anybody else either. But there are things like common decency and manners and mutual respect and tolerance. As long as these things are present, we're going to be just fine. If I see you hating on others or bullying them - and I don't care about your reasons for it - I'm out. We could have absolutely opposing views on e.g. ships but be respectful about it and we'll get along. However, we could have the exact same taste in ships yet I see you hating on other people or being a bully (even if you're nice to me) and we'll absolutely not be friends. Be kind, it takes less energy than being a terrible human being, actually.

Gotta put the rest under a cut because it's long :)

♢ Has anyone ever tried to steal your blog? Your headcanons? Icons? All that jazz

I'm not sure about RP, I don't really pay attention to that. I don't particularly care as long as someone doesn't kinda copy me and then try to go to my writing partners with the same ideas. If someone took my verses or headcanons 1:1 to write them with their own friends and writing partners, honestly have at it. My headcanons also have to be quite specific for me to feel like they're unique to my portrayal. People who write the same muses often come up with similar things because we base it on what we deduce from observing canon and there will be overlaps.

I've had people steal and repost my fanfictions though. And I've had my graphic edits and gifsets reposted without my permission.

☢ What fads/trends are you so over?

Purple prose writing - I never liked it and I never will. Generally excessive formatting too, to be honest. It get that it looks cool, but unless you are engaging in calligram poems the focus on aesthetics over content for me seems a bit misplaced. As always, to each their own, and if that's the art you are aiming to create here then you are doing a fabulous job, but it's simply not what I am looking for.

✿ What do you think about public call out posts?

I think they're bad. More often than not they feel like an excuse to bully people and they create more harm than good. They are never fully honest, never an objective recount of events and never lead to any positive outcomes as far as I can tell. They're the modern online version of trying to create an angry lynch mob to get someone burned at the virtual stake. I reject callout posts and cancel culture in general wholeheartedly.

Of course there are dangerous and shady people in online spaces (like there are away from your computers as well) and in very rare cases it might be good to make a community aware of an ongoing issue or the possibility of something happening. There should be a GENERAL awareness of the dangers of the online world and strangers that could help prevent actual serious incidents. That said, most callouts I've seen are not about serious cases, they're about people having personal altercations that have nothing to do with the rest of the community and should not be discussed in a public war of who's better at making the other look like a psychopath. There are good reasons why in real life, if someone is accused of a crime it's forbidden for people to take justice into their own hands and go after them. When you see a callout on your dash, you never have all the facts, nobody ever seems to question the source of these callouts (enough), they're always incredibly biased and presenting "evidence" out of context (which is the opposite of transparent), and never encourage you to listen to both sides of the story and make your own opinion of it. All of that should make you think twice before you even consider reblogging that. Also: imagine someone wrote a callout about you, with ill-intent, fabricating lies and making your past (& private) messages look shady out of context. Would you want total strangers to shun or even attack you without giving you the benefit of the doubt? I guess not, huh? Do not carelessly treat things as good that you don't want to happen to you in a bad case scenario.

It's just a hard pass for me. I reject this as a way of dealing with personal problems. Not to mention that I don't relate to people's desire to air their dirty laundry on social media. Try to fix your personal issues in private and think about the future consequences of your actions before you publish a lengthy text about someone who wronged you, calling them all sorts of names and things that you will likely find far less appropriate in a year from now, potentially ruining their other friendships, messing with potential new friendships, their chance to calmly reflect on their behavior, and possibly get them ostracized from an entire FANDOM.

[mysteriouslybluepirate]

Watching Con O'Neill's old stuff cause it's fun. Day #?- Ordinary lies-EPISODE 1

I am going, to be honest. I don't know how to tag this without 'ruining it' look up the warnings on your own? Tell me below in the comments those of you who have seen this how you would tag warnings for this. Just take this meme and go googling.

UPDATED CON RANKINGS DOWN BELOW! Also, for anyone who doesn't know, I finally have a tag for this series! It's easy to find now!

As always thanks to @ivegotnonameidea for the love

Some people I follow who I think have seen this and I'd love their opinions @cliffcostello @gydima @dianetastesmetal @mossiestpiglet(if you haven't seen this, just ignore me. Or go read the warnings and watch it?)

Thoughts below, I'd love to hear yours.

(IS IT BETTER TO KNOW OR NEVER HAVE KNOWN)

SPOILERS FROM HERE ON OUT BABES! ITS A WILD RIDE! For me this is almost as emotional as Joe Meek from Telstar. So....YEAH.

Con being the first name in the credits?

DAD ROCK CON!

AHHH, smiling. A sign of more to come

OHH! Cringe boss/coworker Con! I love it. I've seen a gif of this speech out of context and thought he'd be an ass.

What job is he doing?

JOE! That name has no Con O'Neill associations.

"I don't assemble teams based on the basis of who might fuck eachother" JOE I LOVE YOU

I know that head of hair! Hey Joel Fry!

As someone who worked at a warehouse, they've got the energy down. "I will just, leave them here, for you" Yeah, real.

DONT WALK BACKWARDS IN A WARHOUSE

WHAT THE FUCK!

(As someone who has dropped a boxed up sewing machine on my head from about that height, the boy's going to need help. If he suddenly becomes 'crazy' ill be a bit peeved.)

Also, most pallets for warehouses are stacked bottom heavy. We don't know the freight they ship, but still. The only reason heavy stock was on top is if the whole pallet was heavy. (I get that they had to drop empty boxes on Con for ~Safety~ but they could have edited snappier)

Headache? Do you know what helps? GOING TO THE HOSPITAL WHEN YOU HAVE AFFORDABLE HEALTHCARE!

I'm calling it. The wife is cheating on him. Joe's not allowed to be happy.

AHHH! They won't let him drive! Love it.

I LOVE HIS JACKET!

This over-the-bed shot was necessary, and I love it

Oh, look at him. Community leader.

So he's insecure, has a shaky relationship with his family, and is semi-committed to work? LOVE IT

No Joe, partners don't snoop at their partner's phones.

NO, CHEATING WOULDN'T BE GOOD HERE?!?!

Also, that fucking look Joe gave him. love it.

GOD CAN PEOPLE JUST FUCKING TALK?

If he cheats in retaliation, this will start a circle of cheating and bullshit. Speaking from life, don't put your kids through that.

Actually, this is the most realistic portrayal of warehouse managers. Especially ignoring basic safety rules for a laugh. The only thing they messed up on was doing it in front of the cameras. Managers know better.

BRO

DON'T PUT CAMERAS IN YOUR OWN HOME

I know Joel is a superhero which just makes this scene fun.

As paranoid as I am with my space, I like to think I'd notice.

EXACTLY TECH GUY. Trust is mandatory. Wait, don't threaten physical harm, that's a bit much

He's trying to be fun, but god. OH HIS YODA IS SO FUN

Going to a bar with coworkers sounds awful

I hope my life pushes me to follow the narrative as hard as it's convincing Joe that his wife is cheating on him.

Maybe don't fuck your coworkers?

BRO DOING THE WEIRD STALKER THINGS AFTER WORK?

Joe is going to a meeting, at least he's proactive.

NOT AT WORK? THE FUCK.

GAY? Gay cheating or do they just have long hair?

Yeah, he's having a good day. 10/10

Why is the PA at his desk? What the fuck? Even if he wasn't paranoid, it's still wrong if he's upper management.

(Smoke alarm scene) Oh joy, the cards come crumbling. Also, I don't know when this was published, but they definitely had small enough cameras to fit inside a working smoke alarm.

SHE DOESN'T TRUST HIM TO TALK THIS OUT? At least entertain the thought that your teenager is smoking?

Ohh he's quizzing her to see if she's cheating, bro don't look too suspicious.

BRO IF YOU'RE UNHAPPY ENOUGH TO CHEAT JUST FUCKING TALK ABOUT GETTING A DIVORCE!

I love this adventure outfit.

What did he expect? They don't supply the mountain with 4g

Aww he's in recovery, it'd be a shame if, over the course of this episode, he slipped up :|

'Good Time Joe' :( (also, this is just going to make me sad, huh)

Good for him. But not including his wife/kids is kind of saying a lot.

That looks like a nice sleeping bag!

Oh shit, that's a walk. Good thing you didn't tell anyone where you were going. :\ he's asking to get murdered

Yeah, babe. This is creepy. Please evaluate your actions.

Yeah, this scene is sweet.

BRO DON'T ACT LIKE THIS SUDDEN EVASION OF PRIVACY

Wait, did he accidentally out his kid's relationship? Is that what I'm supposed to gather from this?

WHY IS HE CASUALLY FLICKERING A LIGHTER?

Also, if this is something 'serious' please tell me this wasn't the era when weed was the worst tv would do

I feel like this talk would be easier if you didn't make eye contact

INSTALLING THE CAMERAS GAVE HIM TOO MUCH FUCKING INFO. God, that's funny as fuck.

She needs to stop fucking new employees, it's an HR issue

This whole meet-up scene is nice

IT IS BETTER TO HAVE NEVER FOUND OUT BABE. Life is a mystery and being able to find out is an issue. In fact, you can stop whenever you want. Like, now?

Teenage daughter is drinking, calling it now.

OH SHIT, THE WIFE?

Okay, maybe the two women are just really close friends.

SHE GRABBED HER FACE, THAT'S CODE FOR FUCKING

Also, even I don't know that I'd keep alcohol in the house if Joe is known to drink instead of reaching out for help. Obviously, everyone has different limits, but eh. Feels courteous at least.

Joe is not having a good time. If I need to pause for embarrassment reasons, I'll say.

OH SHIT JOE. THAT'S NOT GOOD.

"It's not porn" If you think your wife is fucking someone, and you caught it on camera, that's porn.

Look, say what you will. But it looks like she cares as his boss/equal.

He's not himself cause he's scared.

"How would you rate that assessment?" "6/10" BRO

Just tell her. About the cheating at least.

See, Joe is just coming to this realization. This is the healthiest mindset to respect people's boundaries.

No, you don't have a right to know everything. AHHH HE LOOKED AT THE CAMERA OMG THAT WAS SO GOOD.

YES! IT'S A NEW ADDICTION GOD THAT'S SO SMART! AHHHHH

Good! Look at him apologizing. An Adult.

Also, their business is heavily dependent on people's excess income. As hard as he can try, he's fucked living with the economy as his ruler. Sad honestly.

I haven't mentioned that he's spying in the bathroom now instead of the desk, but god is that unhygienic.

You know what, I have some hope for him.

IS THAT A GUY? Threesome? Foursome? Wait, what pamphlet? Are they close to scoping him out?

ITS DANGEROUS BULLSHIT TIME

It's probably just her coworkers, right? This is all an innocent mistake?

OH HE'S TAILING THEM! That is so BALLSEY!

How the fuck is he going to explain himself if they catch him?

OH SHE CATCHES PREDATORS! OH MY GOD!

ICON

FUCKING HERO

HELL YEAH!!!!!!!!!!! OH GOD

What? What am I missing? Oh SHIT.

OH SHIT.

GOD HE'S A GOOD FUCKING DAD. LOOK HE'S SO FUCKING GOOD GOD!

AHHHHHHHH

Look as shitty as it is, he has a point.

Violence won't do shit, and neither will entrapment.

OH FUCK

OH SHIT

OH MY GOD

NOOOOOOO

GOD FUCKING DAMN IT

WHAT???!?!?1?!?!??!?!?!?!?!

GOD AT LEAST HE HAS PROOF!?!?!?!?!? JESUS FUCKING CHRIST

Jesus. Just get a divorce.

OH SHE DID ACTUALLY CHEAT

HE DIDN'T EVEN GET PROOF! DID SHE ACCIDENTLY LET SOMETHING SLIP?

Okay, Jesus, get a divorce.

FUCK.

No, let her do this, hit him.

How the fuck does he not know what statutory rape is in this instance? This is a really fucking good episode but Jesus Christ, that fucking neggs me.

ME FUCKING TOO JOE. WAIT THATS BOOZE. NO

NO

FUUUUUCCKKK

At least he immediately went to go see someone in his support system (his daughter) after relapsing.

___________________________________________________________

CON: FUCKING 10/10. I don't even know where to begin. I am so fucking happy I wasn't spoiled for shit besides his opening speech and seeing gifs of his chest. He plays Joe as a raw, damaged individual who just wants to protect himself and his family. I have entire fucking essays I want to write on his performance.

What Joe needs is a support group. I know he's in other episodes, and the entire point of this show is that people live Ordinary Lives, but just knowing how bad he's struggling, it seems cruel to me. Real in a way I want media to clean up nicely with a bow. He's reaching a new low in his life, and fuck! If yall tell me other episodes have more prominent Joe scenes, I will absolutely watch it.

Yes, I've seen "Let me buy you a drink! Tier Five Friday, whoo whoo?" and a few other clips of Joe and Joel Fry's character. AND ITS SAD, regardless of how funny it is. I'm so fucking weak for this depressed man.

It just hurts cause I know he can work to be happier.

If he thinks she's willing to cheat, he doesn't trust their relationship to hold.

But with how he feels like he's failed them as a protector, losing them could fucking break them more. As I mentioned sports supplies are an excess funds type product. Imagine if all of this shit was going on, AND a recession hits, and his position at work was threatened? I was laid off from my warehouse job THREE MONTHS before peak just because profits were low. Joe having a record of assaulting staff and unsafe workmanship on the floor could be enough to lose his job if things get tight.

I want to give this man a fucking happy ending, a partner who he can trust and have these discussions with, and a better fucking support system.

I know my 'as I watch' summary seems disjointed but my original one without editing was too long for Tumblr. It included me just fucking hitting my keyboard. LOTS OF FUCCKKKKKS. Etc, you get my point. I want to rewatch this to see all the nuances with full context, and also never think about this again cause I will explode it's so fucking good.

For Joe's final thoughts, who's better to give final words than Con himself?

"I feel for him. I wouldn't do what he does – but I understand why he does it."

Characters besides Con: 9/10. A few small things bugged me. But eh. They are people as Joe sees them. I'm sure if I watched other episodes these people would be more fleshed out.

Story 9/10: I love that this was a mystery drama in the truest sense of the word. We were meant to solve things along with Joe until the rug was pulled from under us. WE WERE THE OBSERVING EYES BUT WE WEREN'T ALL-KNOWING. The audience wasn't God. We went from thinking he was weird to even considering this, but Jesus. He caught his son doing one of the fucking worst things he could have possibly done.

Again, I know fuck ups exist in every goddamn family. But the son is old enough to have been aware of what happened to his sister when it happened. The son knew exactly what happened to his sister and still did what he did. Again, it's real, but it just feels like so much shit stacked on top of Joe's shoulders at the last fucking second to make him break. I feel for the Mom and Daughter but they were kind of side stories here we barely got to see.

Everything unravels from the audience at first thinking Joe is weird, to OH MY GOD?!??!?! Is a delight. If a mystery is served to us like this, I will eat it the fuck up.

Overall: 10/10. I fucking love this hour of television. We got so many scenes of Joe just slightly breaking down as everyone around him wouldn't just be honest with him. He had to break down in the last ten minutes, and we the audience had no clue just how shitty the situation was. If you want me to watch more, don't be afraid to fully spoil the cool stuff down below. If I didn't care more about keeping a 'scale' this would be a 11/10+.

Again, everyone in S is essentially interchangeable.

I will add his bit roles if needs be. Or if I'm bored! (Update-2/23/2023 to include recent bit roles)

As always, have a good day. Or night. I'm writing this at 1 in the morning so hopefully, it's understandable. Please throw up words below, it always makes my day!

[countlessrealities]

🗑️ ⚖️ 💚 right back at you!

Scrapped / on pause / WIP ideas meme || Selectively accepting !

🗑️ a scrapped element of the blog

This is something that I never actually applied to this blog because I scrapped the idea before I had the chance to try it out, but I think it should count since it's about one of my current muses.

When I firstly designed my HCs for Evil Rick, he was very different from the version I've chose to adopt for my portrayal. The initial idea I had for him had been to base his character mostly on the stereotype of what in the mind of the public is a "sociopath" (I know, I know, we aren't using that sort of terminology anymore, but it's for the sake of simplicity). So, brutal, unrefined, unable to understand basic social / human behaviours and uninterested in learning to. He was basically just an asshole who had no driving force in life if not satisfy his darker impulses. Also, he was supposed to behave more like he does in the show while under Evil Morty's control.

Whoever has even just glanced at how I write him now, you can see that he's nothing like that. Sure, he's merciless, can't feel empathy, he's extremely gory at times, but his whole personality is centre on quiet and emotionless detachment. There's a long list of reasons why I picked this version over the other, but I won't list them. I just wanna mention that I ended up making up almost the opposite (attitude wise) of how he acted while puppeteered by Evil Morty because, for how I write him, my Evil Morty would want to put as much distance between himself and his Rick, thus why he distorts his personality. And also because he knows that Evil Rick would find it insulting.

⚖️ something stuck in limbo

I've been pondering for a couple of weeks now to add a certain muse to my roaster. I've been writing him on Discord with @mcltiples (so I blame her for giving me the thought to add him on here too) and I think I'm doing pretty decently. Plus, he's fun to write and I need more psychos on my muses list.

I'm still pondering it because 1. I already have several muses and 2. a close mutual of mine writes the same character and that makes me a little hesitant because I don't want it to look like I'm trying to copy them / steal their spotlight.

I know, I know, point 2 is probably all just paranoia, but I can't help worrying about it. As for point one, I'm planning to remove a muse (Stan) from my roaster with the new year, so that could technically mean having an open spot.

💚 a coming idea that still needs development

This one is an element that I've often included in my portrayal, but without really defining it or diving in depth: Morty's anger issues and trauma-induced coping mechanisms.

There are a few specific HCs I tend to use and mention often (like how he spent a really long time unable to even just look at public bathroom, or how Rick has resorted to take him purging regularly), but the real extent of the damage Morty carries? That's pretty unknown to me too xD

I'd really like to develop these aspects more, decide what he has gotten over, what is still haunting him, and what had gotten lost in the cynic attitude and mindset he has been forced to adopt for the sake on not falling into an endless breakdown. Also, since most of the emotions linked to all this events manifest through anger (something that happened even before Rick) it's also very hard to tell how he truly feels about something. Whether he is truly angry or if rage is the manifestation of something else (guilt, fear, sadness, sorrow, remorse, etc).

[berglietz]

Caspar vs Failure: a short analysis post

OR: i've never picked up a canon 3h student for the group before which means i'm rotating the character growth he experiences in his own game in the microwave of my brain

Funnily enough, filling out Rai's little dash meme is what had me chewing on these thoughts for some time—while I'd bolded the concept of "failure is not an option" for Caspar, I think a more true statement for him (during the academy phase of the game, specifically) would be that he's operating in a mind space where failure isn't a possibility. The difference here is that "failure is not an option", to me, evokes a sense of anxiety. In "failure is not an option", failing is a looming threat that one must push through and conquer.

As far as 16-year-old Caspar is concerned, failure is hardly a blip on the radar. He's portrayed as pretty comically foolhardy and overconfident, and quite defensive about his abilities too. In his C support with Linhardt, after being told his height puts him at an inherent disadvantage in melee, Caspar charges off to pick fights with some Big and Tall™️ knights— and then he instantly gets his ass whooped (or more specifically, "couldn't land a single blow"). Hubert chides him for all of his shouting during training in their C support, and when he is told that it will affect his behavior in actual battle he tells Hubert to "shut up about it" (and then does, in fact, default to shouting on the battlefield later, getting himself and his battalion into trouble). In his C support with Byleth, he won't even let his professor try to cover for his recklessness in chasing down a potential villain, instead insisting that he didn't do anything wrong. It's not until his B support—which is not accessible until the war phase 5 years later—that he addresses the situation again and reflects differently on his actions, feeling personally responsible for the consequences.

(He then re-reflects and asserts his own sense of justice and morality in the A support, which is a theme that runs through multiple support lines with him. I love this running part of his character a lot, but it's not what this particular post is about lskdjflkds…I'll save that for another time).

What I'm focused on in this post, as someone who will be primarily portraying academy phase Caspar, is the character arc laid out for him in canon and how I can follow that path in my own way during his time in TOA, and especially the way his sort of attitude as the cocky rough-and-tumble guy shifts slightly over time. I think the shift in his character can be largely attributed to both the stress, violence, and death of real war that he faces, as well as a healthy dose of regular emotional maturity that comes along with 5 years passing. Check out the difference between his casual mode retreat quotes in academy vs war phase for a simple, easy portrayal of the shift in his attitude:

“What? I lost? Not me. Never me…” (academy phase retreat) “I'll get stronger…but for now, I'll retreat while I can.” (war phase retreat)

or, for a slightly more "noooo my boooooy 😭" type feeling, the difference between his selection quotes at medium and low HP between the two story phases:

"Still raring to go!" (Medium HP) "I… I'll be fine." (Low HP) vs "Can't pull back yet." (Medium HP) "I'll fight to the very end…" (Low HP)

Aw jeez, my boy has discovered the finality of death :(

Anyhow! This is all to basically say that while Caspar is an audacious little pipsqueak right now, a lot of that can be attributed to him being a young, hot-headed teenager who doesn't really know what he's getting into quite yet (hell, his initial future plans seem to be 1. get super strong 2. ??????? 3. profit) (reductive for jokes but only slightly). I hope to still have him slowly reach a point more similar to his older, slightly more grounded version of himself where failure is indeed a possibility that he can't fully ignore any longer, and I think it'll be interesting trying to get him to approach that in real time!

[crashingearth]

PINNED POST: RULES AND ABOUT

Hello hello! This is an rp blog for Groudon from Pokemon Ruby/Emerald, (heavily affiliated with @journcys and @soraozon ). I am Rain (they/them), older than 20, have been writing on tumblr for 10 years almost :D Please know that I am anti-harassment and refuse to partake in fandom drama. I am a tad slow with my replies/threads atm, but feel free to IM me if you would like to plot! Thank you so much checking out my blog :D (Also on @emmetrain & @ingovercast & @sadaolim )

RULES AND MUSE for mobile users down below;

RULES

Multiship. Multiverse. Affiliated with @journcys AND @soraozon , as he is Marea’s/Kyogre’s big brother and Rayquaza/Loki's biggest headache.

My replies may be slow. Feel free to take your time as well. If I see possessive behavior from muns over my time and my muse, I may block without warning.

My groudon is canon divergent and is written as a human-like being with godly powers. He can be caught like a Pokemon, but other than that, he is not a Pokemon. Treat him as human when we talk ooc (it’s OK for muses to assume he is a Pokemon however). 

Feel free to tell me if you want anything changed in my replies or want something to be tagged. Please tell me if there is any issues we can solve. 

No-nos: Vague blogging. Portrayal shaming. Callouts over fiction (unless it is actual harassment). Policing what others are writing. If you repeatedly bring me drama when I want none of it, it will earn a hard-block. Thank you. Block-evading is not allowed.

IC=/= OCC. If you assume someone’s muse is a statement of their OOC opinions on fandom or other issues, I do not wish to engage. (If you assume people writing villain muses are evil or such, no thank you.)

Crossovers and doubles are welcome! OCs and Self-inserts as well!

Don’t reblog threads or headcanons you are not a part of, please. Unless I tag it “ok to reblog”. I do not force reblog karma for memes, but it would be nice if you could avoid reblogging from me.

If you don’t have rules/about page, and if your blog has too many untagged posts, I may not follow back.

Blacklist “ask to tag” if you wish to avoid darker themes with violence. Blacklist “long post” to avoid longer threads. Every url is tagged, so do not bring me into drama.

Please tag images with nudity, blood, gore and such in general.

Do not force sexual acts on my muse. 

ABOUT

NAME: Groudon, Daichi

TITLE: Continent Pokémon, God of the Earth, Legendary Pokemon (he has qualms with anything Pokemon title–he is a deity, thank you.)

JOB: He is done, alright? He made the continents. Now there are humans? And there is also that brother of his who brought unnecessary water bodies to his earth. He is tired. WHO NEEDS WATER OF THAT AMOUNT? Nothing important lives there? Why does Kyogre exist anyway? To be pain in his neck?

AGE: Here since the very beginning. Never had managed to grow up, so in human years, he would be considered early 20s.

GENDER: Genderfluid. Mostly male-presenting, but has been known both as Lady of  Land AND Lord of Ground.

PRONOUNS: mainly he/him. Depends on the day and how he presents himself. (For his family, he opts for he/him.)

ORIENTATION: He has no idea.

ETHNICITY: Japanese/Hispanic

HEIGHT: 7'4 (2.3 meters :) )

LIKES: FIRE. EARTH. DECAY. MUSIC. flowers. his family. (He likes sneaking into human concerts or bars, and learning the drums.) humans’ alternative fashion.

DISLIKES: WATER. TRAVELLING. Uptight people. Team Magma and Team Aqua.

HOBBIES: Playing drums. Dancing. Singing. (Killing anyone who would tell this to his brothers, for all they know, he is sleeping.) Studying criminals like bugs.Bothering Marea.

FAMILY: Loki/Rayquaza (His older brother, soraozon ), Marea/Kyogre (His younger brother, journcys ).

POSITIVE TRAITS: Adaptable, Dauntless, Indomitable, Steadfast

NEGATIVE TRAITS: Abrasive, Imprudent, Conceited, Passive, Argumentative, Rough, Ignorant, Slow to Learn, Short Temper

BASIC INFO

NEVER WANTED TO BE THE MIDDLE CHILD. Once upon a time, there were three super-ancient Pokemon. Well, there used to be two. Groudon had been used to that dynamic, and there comes the naive Kyogre, whose only purpose seems to be to against everything Groudon is. Groudon is a kid with an ant farm, making continents and watching the many creatures that started to live upon it. However, there is this better brother of his, making oceans and seas, taking away from where land could be.

ARGUMENTS. Groudon’s perfect world was destroyed with Kyogre’s arrival. What was wrong with only land? Groudon does not care to listen–his way had worked, and KYOGRE SHOULD LISTEN. The dinosaur and the whale had been at each other’s throats since the start.

HYPOCRISY. Groudon, unlike his siblings, found himself to close to humans. The worshippers, however, did not revere him when he showed up as a human, with disorderly clothes and brash personality. He was no different from a street thug, so he accepted that, watching humans from the side while they avoided him at all costs. 

SHAPESHIFTER. Like he shaped the continents, he could shape his form. Sometimes, he would appear as an old man, sometimes a lady, other times just a man. His from that took back then was of a child, who ended up getting semi-adopted by an old woman of a village. 

JEALOUSY. He started to experience the world and learn about the land and the sea from the human viewpoint. And, to his dismay, he learned his younger brother, Kyogre, was also walking among humans. But he was a man. And he even “loved” a human. Groudon was both worried and jealous, since he never seemed to grow up, but Kyogre… no. Marea did. Marea was everything he hoped he could be. Loved by everyone. Mature. And so naive. He argued many times for Marea to give up on this dream. And hid his own ties to the humans.

ANGER. He would still sneak to live the childhood humans lived. He would bring the sunny days and warmth for the crops so that the old woman would have enough to eat. He was learning, growing.. Until one day, over an argument that he does not even remember now, he WENT UP IN FLAMES. The flames spread to the old woman, and though the injuries were not severe, Groudon ran away and never looked back.

He went up to Marea to change his mind, to show him being with humans only caused trouble. That playing human was stupid– HOWEVER. It did not end well. Groudon was too argumentative. Brash. Loud. FURIOUS. And he tipped Marea, who caused the floods that would kill Marea’s wife. 

TRAGEDY. Groudon never knew Marea’s family as much as he should. But he grieved Suiji, and felt responsible for causing Marea such blinding, overwhelming anger. HE WOULD NEVER ADMIT IT, but he always blamed himself for the accident. So, when Kyogre/Marea went into a slumber, Groudon took his millennia long depression nap too.

[avtrr]

#AVTRR. a PRIVATE and SELECTIVE indie multimuse from James Cameron's Avatar. loved by Ana Lee. Muses include Jake, Neytiri, Kiri and Mo'at but I may add more in the future. LOW ACTIVITY. THIS BLOG USES THE BETA EDITOR

links : about / muses. / memes. / promo. / wishlist.

rules under read more

Rules (Mobile)

Hii! I'm Ana Lee 28 y/o (she/her) and I have been rping since 2010, but started writing on tumblr in 2018. I also write at @skysnipsw, my dual muse sw blog and since avatar is my new hyperfixation, i decided to make this blog. Feel free to hit me up any time, I'd love to get to know new writing partners and make new friends! I'm brazilian and my timezone is UTC -3 so english is not my first language, but i consider myself to be fluent (though mistakes are still bond to happen sometimes as nobody is perfect)

   • This blog is 18+     as it will explore mature themes such as violence, war, death, xenophobia, trauma, and others. For your own safety, minors DNI.

   • SPOILERS:     I've seen Avatar: The Way of Water so spoilers are going to be present. And please try and keep me out of drama, I’m here to write and have fun with friends, not get myself involved in drama.

   • NO HATE, NO DRAMA.     I won’t tolerate any kind of hate in this blog. Be it against the Avatar franchise or against any group of people, it will be met with an instant block. Also please try and keep me out of drama, I want this place to be chill for everyone.

• COMMUNICATION IS KEY.     If you have any problems regarding threads or if I upset you for any reason, please let me know what I did wrong so I can avoid doing that again! I have no way of knowing what I did wrong if you don’t tell me. I’m not a perfect person and everyone commits mistakes and I’m a very chill person, I’m always open to discuss things peacefully and I’m always open to constructive criticism either because I’m always seeking to improve, both as a roleplayer and as a person. So, if I did something that upsets you, just come talk to me and we’ll solve issues together, okay? Don’t be afraid, I promisse I don’t bite! I just ask that you be mature and please don’t start any dramas. I’m not here to pick fights, I just wanna have fun rping with friends.

   • BASIC RP RULES.      No godmodding/powerplaying/metagaming, controlling my muses without permission etc. I control my muses, you control yours.

   • FOLLOWING.      I'm selective and private, meaning I'll mostly interact with mutuals. If I follow you, it means that I am interested in writing with you, but I may be too shy to make first approach, so don't be afraid to hit me up! But if you don't have an interest in writing with me, I ask that you please block me, there won’t be any hard feelings on my part. This is to avoid any awkwardness like me trying to reach out to you but you’re not following me back. I’ll totally understand if you do.

• MAINS/EXCLUSIVES.      I don't do exclusives since I like to give everyone's portryal a chance and every portrayal is unique in itself and I love interacting with multiple versions of the same character and seeing how different they can be from each other. However, if we write/talk a lot together and are friends enough, we can be MAINS and even AFFILIATED! Just let me know if you wish to become a main, however, keep in mind that we need to write/plot a lot and be friends for me to consider this possibility.

   • OC/CROSSOVERS/DUPLICATES.      OCs are always welcome, but I ask that you have at least an about page so I can read about your character beforehand. I won't accept any kind of pre-established relationship between OCs and my muses, unless it's discussed previously. I'm also DUPLICATE FRIENDLY as I love seeing other interpretations of the same muses. CROSSOVERS are aways welcome too as I love them! Even if I don’t know your fandom, I’m always willing to interact and learn about it.

   • REBLOG KARMA.      PLEASE, REBLOG MEMES, MUSINGS PSAS AND ETC FROM THE SOURCE!!! Unless the source is unavailable. It kinda clogs my notifications and it’s also a bit disappointing to see a notification expecting a reply to see you just reblogged a meme/psa from me. I’m not a meme source. If you intend to reblog a meme from me, please have the courtesy to send one in.

   • PERSONALS.      You are free to follow me as long as you respect my rules, however, I’ll only follow back RP Blogs to keep my dash clean and easier to deal with. DON’T REBLOG MY THREADS! This can be very annoying for me and my rp partners, so if you like a thread, just click the like button, but don’t reblog it! You are also free to interact with my character by sending asks! Asks are always welcome, but please be respectable when you send them. If I receive offensive ones, I’ll block you. Also DO NOT SPAM ME WITH LIKES. Any personal blogs that starts to spam like my posts will be blocked without a warning as this clogs my notifications and is very annoying.

   • PLOTTING.       I am always open for plotting, so hit me up whenever you want for plotting, or gushing over muses, you won't be bothering me 💙

  •  MEMES.       Ask memes and prompts don't have an expiration date, feel free to send me them whenever! And also feel free to turn any answered asks into threads. 

  •  TRIGGERS.       This being an Avatar blog, it will contain heavy topics such as depictions of violence, gore and other material that may disturb some people, but everything will be tagged accordingly. Potential triggers are tagged as "trigger tw". Please feel free to ask me to tag anything specific.

As for myself, I don’t have triggers per se, but those things make me very uncomfortable and I’d like them to be tagged for me. They include: : irl images of cockroaches and other insects/aracnids, irl images of gore and abuse, detailed descriptions of rotting corpses, incest, pedophilia, zoophilia, rape, daddy kink, smut, and explicit sexual content. I ask that you please tag those accordingly.

  •  MUSE ≠ MUN.       THE MUSE’S ACTIONS/THOUGHTS/OPINIONS DO NOT EQUAL MINE!

  •  SHIPPING.      Some muses in this blog will only be romantically shipped with certain characters (ex. Jake will only ever be shipped with Neytiri and vice-versa) so keep this in mind when reading the muses pages. If you want to discuss a ship, feel free to hit me up! 

This blog contains some underage muses. I will not ship them with any characters over the age of eighteen nor will any sexual nsfw be present on this blog involving them. 

I will also NOT ship Kiri x Spider romantically. Due to the Westermarck Effect hypothesis, she sees spider as her brother and therefore, has no romantic attraction towards him. 

SMUT. I don't write explicit smut as I’m aroace and sex repulsed. I can tolerate dirty jokes and innuendos for comedy purposes however, as long as they’re MODERATED. It goes without saying that I will NOT accept anything of that sort regarding my minor muses. If I see any sexual asks or memes being directed at my underage muses, it will be met with an instant block.

 •   CONTACT.      Feel free to talk to me any time, my IMs are always open for talking and plotting. Discord is under request, and I also RP in there, so if you want my discord, just ask me.

  •  ACTIVITY.       My activity may vary, but I'm usually slow and low activity, as I work during the week and study at night, so please be patient with me. I also run other rp blogs here and I have the worst attention span ever. I’ll get to starters and replies, it can take a while, but I’ll get to them eventually, I just ask you to be patient. I have literally replied to asks and threads months after they’ve been sent to me, sometimes I reply fast, it all honestly depends on my muse for writing. I’m also an artist, I draw and do commissions and writing is a hobby. I AM NOT FAST. If I am fast, it’s honestly depends on my mood and inspiration.

  •  FIGHT THREADS.        I’d rather avoid writing them cause I really suck at them, buuut if it’s necessary for the development of the thread, please discuss it with me first. I am also open to death threads, HOWEVER, DO NOT KILL MY MUSES WITHOUT MY PERMISSION!!! Please discuss it with me first.

I guess it's all for now, thank you for reading! If you have any questions feel free to ask me!

[fishy-douchenozzle]

~Rules of The Cum Zone~

This is an 18+ only blog. If you are under the age of 18 and I find out about it, I'm blocking you immediately and trust me, I will be checking. I am 21+ and so is my muse. Helluva Boss and Hazbin Hotel are ADULT cartoons and will be treated as such. That being said, if you don't have your age somewhere on your blog, I'm blocking you. You can even DM me your age if you're uncomfortable posting it. Please just let me know that you're at least 18.

READ MY RULES BEFORE YOU EVEN THINK ABOUT INTERACTING!!! I have had issues on my other blogs about rules and it WILL NOT BE TOLERATED. If I have to end up making this a private RP account, so be it. Don't make me do it.

Do not force ships. I ship based on chemistry, canon and my own ships. Just because Chaz is kinda slutty doesn't mean he'll fuck you just because you asked.

Give me something to work with if we plot/play together. I'm tired of begging people to work with me. If you can't give me something to work with, we can't play together. If you're stuck, let's talk it out. I'll try to do the same

Follow basic RPC guidelines such as no godmodding, power playing, etc.

If you ask me how to RP after just offering to play, I won't answer. Please have a basic working knowledge of how RP works before you approach me. The reason is because I'm going to assume you're a kid.

Don't spam like my starters. Respond. That's how they work. If it says OPEN STARTER, it means it is an open invitation to interact with my muse.

Do not steal my starters. I have had this happen before and I will block you if you do this.

DO. NOT. INTERACT. WITH. THINGS. THAT. DON'T. CONCERN. YOU. If you reblog, comment or interact on a thread/post that is absolutely none of your buisness, you will be blocked. This is the quickest way to piss me off.

Mutuals Only. Self-explanatory.

Mutuals are allowed to reblog my Headcannons/ use me as a meme source as long as you send some in occasionally

I don't mind answering asks for non-moots but if we aren't moots, no threads for you.

If you don't have an RP blog, get lost. If you're an anchor for an RP blog, you're cool but if you're a personal only/ character devotion blog/ blank blog or porn blog, keep it moving. You're not welcome here.

I will not change my character for you unless something is actually problematic. As in, harmful. Other than that, Chaz is a douchebag and I will play him as such. I will not change my portrayal of him for anyone unless he actually makes you uncomfortable.

Don't bug me about threads. If I haven't replied in a few days to a week, let me know. Either I forgot (because ADHD brain), Tumblr ate it or I'm stuck and forgot to tell you or I needed a break. Send it to me if you want to continue it. I have a tendency to drop threads so please send it to me if you want to continue it.

Plotting is 100% necessary for OCs. It's preferred in general but it's MANDATORY for OCs. If I don't know your character, my muse doesn't either and it makes it VERY hard to respond to/plot with.

Don't write in chat style, first person or scrip style if you plan to write with me please. I hate it and it's generally VERY hard to play with. Don't do it.

[fedoraxcrowned]

First of all, thank you for visiting this page!)

I don’t have very long nor very strict rules, but there are a few things I’d like to point out:

And the main rule in interacting with me is that this blog is hate free. I don’t have anything against drama and hate as long as it stays within the threads and our muses’ relationships. But OOC drama and anon hate I just won’t tolerate. This is a hobby, after all. It shouldn’t be stressful.

I’m selective in a way that I will most likely answer to what I see happening for my muse and what I have muse for at the moment, but I’m not mutuals only, which means that you are more than welcome to send me asks / memes / anything and come say hi in DMs even if we are not mutuals!

I’m OC and Crossover friendly, but only if I’m familiar with your character (for most Crossovers) or if you have an about page in your blog or won’t mind telling me some basics about your character so I could see how our muses could click (for OCs and those Crossovers with whose fandoms I’m not familiar). However, I’m probably more welcoming of Crossovers on this blog than on any other because, due to Red’s nature, it would be quite easy to fit him in most fandoms.

I love shipping dearly, but, unsurprisingly, it will be based on chemistry. Of course, Red is no monk - he enjoys casual sex and has a history of one/few-night-stands (mostly, with people he’s working with, alongside or, on a few fiery occasions, against) - but the fact that he spent a night(s) with your muse doesn’t automatically mean that they’re dating from that point onward. Might sound odd, coming from a man of his image, but an emotional connection is essential for Red to consider entering a relationship.

That said, I’m more than open to the idea of a pre-established relationship! And it doesn’t necessarily have to be a romantic one. I’m all for platonic, antagonistic, found family etc. kinds of dynamics: be Red’s associate / old or new colleague, rival / enemy, adopted-in-all-but-official-documents child (because let me tell you something: if your muse is a lone child / teenager who got themselves in a difficult situation or have no-one and nowhere else to go to, there’s a 99.9 percent of chance that Red will take them under his wing), old flame, lover… Just pop in my DMs, and I’m sure we can figure something out)

IMPORTANT NOTE: in my portrayal, just like in the show, Red is in love with Elizabeth Keen (what kind of a relationship these two have - platonic, romantic etc. - will be plotted with each Liz mun individually but the default is platonic) and doesn’t have any kind of paternal feelings towards her nor does he see himself as her father figure.

When it comes to asks / memes and open starters, as I’ve already said before, you are more than welcome to send them in, regardless of whether we are mutuals or interacted before. I love to chat and roleplay with new people! The date I posted the meme or open starter doesn’t matter either as they don’t have an expiration date)

Sending more than one ask / meme is allowed and encouraged!)

If you have an idea, there are big chances that I will try it, so don’t be shy to IM me!

My length very much depends on the particular thread and my partner’s length, but I’m usually writing para/multi-para. I use minimal formatting - bold and italics (also, small text at times, but only if you’re using it too / comfortable with it) - and either 100x100 plain icons / 110x110 icons with border or go iconless.

I don’t really have triggers, but if you do - let me know about it and I’ll be tagging them.

No God-modding, obviously.

If you are a personal blog, you are free to follow me, but, please, DO NOT like my starter calls and DO NOT reblog my threads.

I must admit that I can be quite slow with replies and a bit forgetful, so you are free to poke me once in a while. But don’t nag me constantly, that makes me nervous and uncomfortable.

If you follow me, I will most likely follow you back if I had a look at your blog, but I will unfollow you if you post too many unrelated to the theme of your blog content or make me feel uncomfortable.

[katyspersonal]

002 for Mico and Rom both please?

Oh!!!!!!! Hell yea!!!

(Asks from this ( x ) meme)

002 I Give me a character & I will tell you

• How I feel about this character

For Micolash: I feel a LOT of things about Mico. He is genuinely one of the most important fictional characters that I ever had in my life. Not just that, but there were many bizarre and significant dreams connected with him, and even some things transcending into waking life.

I actually feel a bit reclusive to elaborate as these are very intimate matters (that also touch upon spiritual matters and mental health). I'll just say that this character means A Whole Bunch for me, and I gave up trying to reason why I am not scared or repulsed by him despite the sheer depth of comprehending his insanity. Though can a hard-core fan of FromSoft games truly be sane? Hehehe~ Also I love his appearance and I want to kiss his face, and I want to give him a motherly hug and wrap him in a comfy blankey

For Rom: Roughly the same things apply; a very important character, a lot of connection with dreams, spiritual experiences and mental health profile. In fact, I sort of kin this character. It is just hard to convey since within canon she is almost a blank canvas, yet I don't even feel connected with my portrayal of her specifically. It is just A Rom. There are only a few boundaries, such as strong sense of her being one of the students. But I love all the takes on her!

I picked interest in her almost instantly, but I had a dream about being her before I knew ANYTHING about her and only saw the design. She was, and is, such a blast to develop from my very first days into Bloodborne. She is as important for me as Micolash, just except that I do not have a crush on her. It'd feel too awkward... xD

• All the people I ship romantically with this character

For Micolash: Edgar, Damian, Laurence, Rom (not my version of her though, since mine is his sister), to an extent Kos and Wet Nurse (they are weird ones since they're gods)... Yeah, I think that's mostly it! I could like some others though? For example, @saint--adeline had a ship of Mico with Adeline and like... gfjjjfjyug cursed but it actually makes hella sense, you go girl xD

For Rom: Ebrietas, Julie/Yurie, Edgar, Micolash (see above), Damian, Adeline, Maria, Willem (cursed, I know), Patches

Naturally, I am not rotating all of these ships in my brain all the time, hahaha! I just like to explore different opportunities in fiction, and these are the ones I think of!

• My non-romantic OTP for this character

For Micolash: It is hard to choose one... I think him and Archibald work well! Archie probably would simp for Micolash, though, but I just don't see them becoming a couple. However, they would work together and get along juuust fine like two mad inventors, plus Archie is basically THE chief of Yahar'gul hunters. And one of the few mad lads that was loyal to Micolash genuinely until the end.

For Rom: Which one would not become a ship, hmmm... She sure has friends, but 'platonic OTP' is a very honorable status, you know! I think Caryll falls here the best; my particular version of Caryll distances from Byrgenwerth a bit soon, but in general they are the highest Insight scholars on the block (Micolash drools and hisses and cries and throws up from envy)

Honorable mention: My versions of Rom and Micolash themselves! They are siblings separated at birth that found each other thanks to Rom's intuition and unique devotion to finding her lost brother. They went though everything together, and were close and loyal to defending each other until the end. In fact, they are SO close that arguably none of their romantic ships could rival this bond. Very codependent family bond does that sometimes...

• My unpopular opinion about this character

For Micolash: Not an opinion, more like 'then do it yourself if you're so goddamn smart' moment. But I think he should have been involved in Research Hall (very likely as one of the doctors), and I think this is not explored often enough! Just like him being a necromancer and being able to teleport is not something I see addressed often enough. Basically my opinion is that there are more sides of him to simp for appreciate than just him being Weird Guy and a cult leader. The dude got TALENTS, okay? x)

For Rom: I prefer to think that her being intellectually disabled and, I quote, "childlike", was not a side-effect of ascension but natural traits for her in life! (Her title in Japanese original uses the word 'hakuchi' that is very directly a way to describe profound mental disability, as opposed to the more vague English word 'vacuous'). No, takes along the lines of Rom being a super genius so smart that she deserved eyes for that alone are cool, I am just very biased on my way of taking her title. In my case since she is a student, it is selective disability: academically smart but very helpless otherwise. Can see everything throw raw intuition but gets none of it. Can conduct incredibly complex research on the Universe but might not know how to button her shirt or count to ten. Along those lines!

I'll say though: the day someone makes Rom not a scholar and not a teacher but a secret third thing (Willem's baby daughter) is the day I will EAT that take /pos

• One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon

For Micolash: I'd LOVE it if Micolash was a friendly NPC in the Nightmare for some time (basically temporary Doll, or maybe giving us helpful updates for Insight points), and then "betrayed" us by jumping in the Lake that'd serve as teleporter to the Lecture Building. x) Inspired by the cut idea for him in beta version where he DID do that. Him being a useful NPC is just my idea to lead up to it. Maybe he'd even make lamps conveniently not work in the Nightmare to force us to interact with h- lol yeah I just wish we got to interact with him more.

For Rom: A way to reveal Mensis Ritual without having to kill her and her babies. Just a split way of acting where if you kill her you get this, if you use roundabout way you get that... I just... I can't describe the feeling from that battle, it felt like bullying a child... even despite the fact that she has like 500 of her own children. But yeah, a FromSoft game that let's you be safe from anguish is not a FromSoft game...

• my OTP

For Micolash: Micoedgar! Edgar fell in LOVE with Micolash and he ruined his mission because he was GAY for him and he WILLINGLY gave Micolash his soul and he protects him because he is SIMP and I'll die on this hill!!!! But no, seriously, I feel like the two have the best potential. I largely characterized Edgar as someone not quite fitting with the Choir's limiting, toothless ways, and his brilliant and inquisitive mind simply found more of a kindred spirit in Micolash; the 'insane' and 'evil' guy that Choir told him to not trust and stop at all cost. And I think Micolash likewise appreciates Edgar; someone both smart (and brave) enough to listen to him and question things like him, but also an individualist enough to doubt him and concur his own thoughts if needed. Edgar refuses to wear a cage, now doesn't he? They are just equal, in the best way possible.

For Rom: I could not choose between Robrietas or Yurom/Julirom. Ever. Like yeah I know Rom has two hands (16 in her ascended form, actually), but balancing a human and a GO is hard... I think my preference will SLIGHTLY skew towards Rombrietas though, since Rom is destined to ascend anyway..

I concluded Ebrietas is a half-human herself (adult version of a celestial larva), so both Rom and Ebby would hit a very strong bond of being 'between' the mortal and the divine. Ebrietas also mourns Rom's petrified real body. I always felt like Ebrietas would much rather have Rom stay safe within the guidance of Stars and Moon, but Rom just.... HAD to go above and beyond, HAD to become a Spider (Amygdalae affiliation), HAD to secretly help Micolash... There is very deep emotion and conflict, and Ebrietas also having the Grinch heart moment; as a 'paleblood' Great One she nonetheless cries red bloody tears, as a sign of her feelings Rom 'sullying' her purity.. but also letting her touch upon her human side for the first time. Her theme and Rosmarinus both have 'why do you cry, fair maiden' bit but Rom altar has candles, so they must know WHY, right? But maybe it is because it was the first time Ebrietas cared about someone being lost to a ritual....

There are just so many layers to the two, I could go on all day....

• my cross over ship

For Micolash: I don't know... I have a suspicion a character from ER might fit, but I'll need to learn more about them before.

For Rom: I once had a weird fever dream where she met Gwynd0lin and they were talking about their experiences, and then Rom (still human-ish enough) had to run away carrying him in her arms when Suly appeared and beckoned Aldr1ch with the bell ggjhkgkyhj It is hard to describe but the emotions of both of them, and the impending horror, felt so real that I now physically can't unsee the two having a good chemistry. I've been imagining them interacting in a crossover a few times by now.

• a headcanon fact

Damn, I did not notice upon first reading the meme that it had this oxymoron, hahaha. Like... so, a headcanon OR a fact? I'll interpret it as 'a headcanon I am firm on' because I don't see any other way x)

For both: The description of the first Brain Fluid you find mentions a man that wanted to become a doctor, and so his sister volunteered to be his patient. I believe that the mentioned siblings HAD to be Micolash and Rom; Research Hall's connection with peeking into the Sea, the fact that eventually Research Hall does become Choir's base, the fact that this description is too random otherwise.....

You pick this Brain Fluid from a female head that is guarded by a guy, sure, but not only he is lower ranking Black Church doctor/hunter (that'd probably not do experiments on ascension, unlike White doctors)... But also, his internal name is 'lover npc'. So yeeee.

I'll give some pointer though: it could also refer to maybe Laurence and Adeline (Laurence does hold Eye Pendant and Healing Church WAS interested in internal eyes through water at its first days). Or maybe Micolash and Adeline? I just think these being Rom and Micolash comnects the things way better, Rom being the zero patient from whom that research started just... just completes things so well, and explains her fate more... That Rom was honored by Kos, when other patients turned to the Stars instead of the Sea or just went mad... argh.

Thank you for the ask, it was fun to reflect on so many things! These two are indeed my favs!

[sage-nebula]

Just like Rindo is a realistic portrayal of what it’s like to have an anxiety disorder, Shoka is a realistic portrayal of what it’s like to have chronic depression.

It’s hard for me to pick what I like most about Shoka’s portrayal of depression, but I think it’s how quiet and easy to miss it is, to the point where I haven’t really seen anyone else in fandom talk about it. Shoka doesn’t spend her time making self-deprecating comments about herself, or talking about how sad and miserable she is, and she doesn’t get any scenes where she breaks down sobbing because she just can’t handle the weight of her struggles anymore. Instead, Shoka isolates and distances herself emotionally from others, even from those she’s closest to (such as Ayano and Rindo). She is painfully bored with life (or afterlife, as the case may be) to the point of losing interest in things she once found enjoyment in, such as her Reaper duties. She’s often cynical and pessimistic, and has a hard time mustering the willpower to fight for things she believes in, which is partially why it takes her until Week 3 to stand up to Shiba and the other Shinjuku Reapers. (And even then, she has a hard time believing she and the Twisters can pull it off.) And perhaps most glaringly of all, Shoka has complete apathy toward her own life and the continuation of her existence.

We learn from Shoka during Week 3 that she became a Reaper four years ago—one year prior to Shinjuku’s inversion. She tells Rindo that she won her Game, and when they offered her the chance to become a Reaper, she took it. But notably:

“It’s not that I wanted to be a Reaper. But I didn’t not want to be one, either. [. . .] To be honest, I would’ve been fine with getting erased. But I got a little carried away. Being able to use psychs and everything . . . it made me feel so . . . powerful.” 

Whereas most Players play the Game in order to win a second chance at life, that wasn’t at all the case for Shoka. She didn’t play the Game because she had any real interest in winning, but because using psychs made her feel powerful (phrased in a way that suggests she perhaps didn’t feel powerful in the RG). And though she agreed to become a Reaper when asked, she only did it because the idea didn’t repulse her. She would have been fine with being erased. So while most Players enter the UG (i.e. die) unwillingly and fight for a second chance, not only was Shoka not fighting for that second chance . . . but the fact that she wasn’t implies that her death might not have been unwilling.

In other words, it’s entirely possible Shoka’s death was the result of a suicide.

Shoka’s apathy toward her existence carries into the present day. At the end of Week 3, Shoka says she knows she’s going to be erased because she lost her Reaper status, but that she’s “made [her] peace with it.” Although she phrases it like it’s something she came to terms with, to be honest, we never see her really struggle with the concept. Her biggest sources of conflict with leaving the Shinjuku Reapers was leaving those she cared about, such as Ayano and Susukichi. Her own existence never really mattered to her; she never questioned once whether she was willing to give up her own life for Shibuya’s sake. Ayano did—Ayano fought to have Shoka rejoin the Reapers for that very reason. But Shoka herself didn’t care very much.

Shoka is, in my opinion, a realistic portrayal of chronic depression because, honestly, it is very much like this. I’ve had chronic depression for basically my whole life and while of course there have been times when I’ve cried it out, oftentimes depression does manifest as self-isolation (especially emotional self-isolation), as critical boredom and apathy, as a desire to not exist anymore more than a desire to actively die. (Though I have been actively suicidal in the past, too. Just thankfully not in a long time.) Shoka keeps her feelings close to her chest and while that’s really fun to meme about, in reality that is often how depression manifests for a lot of people. It’s a persistent feeling of . . . sadness, sure, but also a hollow, empty feeling that you always carry with you, where things that were once fun and exciting just . . . aren’t, anymore. It doesn’t mean you can’t find enjoyment in anything—Shoka did find enjoyment in FanGO, before Shiba and the others nuked her Swallow account—but it does mean that it’s harder. And it’s really easy to hide, and really easy for others to miss. Depression isn’t always loud. In fact, I’d go so far as to say it usually isn’t.

And I really like that they nailed that with Shoka’s characterization.