#(it’ll be a 3 part series of one shots along the same theme because I can’t ever just do something small)

[kg-clark-inthedark]

I know the smut in my corvosider longfic is loving and sad and sweet and all that, but y’all one day (and it’s coming) I’m just gonna have to rip off the bandaid and finally post some of the fucked up knifecrow shit I write on my phone

[drawlfoy]

pink in the night P.3

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pairing: hufflepuffmuggleborn!reader x draco

summary: when y/n y/l/n starts having weird, recurring dreams about her long time unrequited crush in her 6th year, she begins to wonder where fantasies end and reality begins.

warnings: canon-typical violence, mature language, nsfw content, VERY dark themes of murder, grief, and coercion. i don’t know why i wrote this to be as dark as it was but i didn’t know how else to make it happen lol

a/n: hello my loves! long time no see! im so sorry for not really responding much to any messages/reblogs/replies/anons...work has been absolutely insane and i’ve had a lot on my plate. i’m also currently working on a dramione twilight au available on my ao3 and it updates weekly, so i’ve been placing more focus on that. 

nitty gritty: i am pushing this to be one more part, though it probably (?) won’t be as long as these first 3. and i promise a happy ending. all is not as it seems. if you’re a fan of our late evi’s turn, the ending of this particular part should remind you of something... 

wc: 10k

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enjoy! 

“Ok. So let me get this straight.” Susan was pacing the room, her arms folded over her chest and her brows furrowed.”Draco Malfoy has been your make-believe boyfriend since the beginning of term, except for he’s really not make-believe and he’s actually your boyfriend? But only when you fall asleep.”

“It sounds worse when you put it like that,” defended Y/N, though she was glad that Susan was being a little testy. Arguing made it easier to forget what was actually going on. “The book Trelawney assigned me explains it all. Apparently hairline cracks in crystal balls can seriously mess things up. One of the symptoms can be recurring trips into an alternate dimension. I was thinking about Draco when I used the crystal ball, so it took him with me. It’s described as being closer to the dream realm than it is to what we understand to be reality, but it doesn’t make it any less real. Draco has been having the same dreams, too. I’m almost positive.”

“Isn’t this a good thing?” asked Susan. 

Y/N wanted to scream. “No! Because he’s definitely just going along with it as a distraction from whatever else is going on with his life. He doesn’t actually like me. He’s told me that himself.”

“He doesn’t like you, but he’s still shagging you?”

“Because I’m there,” hissed Y/N. “And I’m available, and I probably stroke his ego. And plus, he doesn’t think it’s actually me. He thinks it's a product of his subconsciousness, too. Just like I thought.”

“And I thought my Slytherin situation was complicated,” muttered Susan. 

“I genuinely don’t know how I’m ever going to face him,” said Y/N. “When I wasn’t doing, er, things with him, I was spending the rest of our time spilling my guts and giving him a retelling of our real interactions. He would look so smug, too. God, Susan, I don’t know what to do.”

“Hey,” said Susan, firm. “We’re going to get through this. He clearly doesn’t hate you. Maybe this is a good thing, Maybe it’ll push you two together.”

“And maybe I’ll win the lottery and figure out that I’m the long lost child of the Queen, too.”

“Listen.” Susan sounded frustrated now. “This is a good thing. You’ve at least caught his interest. He stares at you in class, you know. I thought that I was imagining it at first, but now I know I wasn’t. This is your shot. When you see him tonight—”

“If I see him!”

“If you see him,” Susan amended, “You have to do something about this. If he really makes you happy. Don’t let this opportunity go.”

Y/N sunk onto her bed, letting her face fall into her hands. “I’m a muggleborn. He would never really see me like that. If I tell him that it’s really me and that what we’ve been experiencing aren’t really dreams, he’d be ruthless.”

“You don’t have any other option. Don’t try and tell me that you’re going to enjoy seeing him at night now that you know that it’s really him. I also feel like there’s a consent issue there too, right?” 

“I suppose.” Y/N chewed on her lip. “Maybe…maybe I’ll just say it and see what happens.”

To her relief, the Hospital Wing was entirely empty apart from Madame Pomfrey when she entered later that afternoon, her cheeks flushed and her hands clammy.

“Miss Y/L/N,” said Pomfrey, giving her a lingering look. “I’ve been expecting you. Broken crystal ball, eh?”

“Yes.” Y/N wasn’t quite sure what to do with her arms as she stood in front of the much older woman, opting to clasp her hands firmly behind her back as she stared at the floor.

“Tell me, dear,” began Madame Pomfrey, ”How have you been sleeping?”

She knew that the answer was written clear across her face as she met Madame Pomfrey’s gaze. 

“Who do you see?” the witch pried.

“Er—” Y/N thought her nails were sure to draw blood, considering how hard they were pressed into the pillowy flesh of her palm. “Malfoy. Draco Malfoy.”

Madame Pomfrey’s eyebrows shot to the sky for the briefest of moments before they were schooled into submission. “Well. That’s certainly a surprise. Aren’t you a Muggleborn, my dear?”

“Yes,” answered Y/N. Surprisingly, none of the traces of judgment or disgust that Y/N came to expect when discussing boys with older women could be found on Pomfrey’s face. “I don’t understand why it happened. Do you…do you know more about it?”

“Come sit in my office. We can have a chat.” 

Madame Pomfrey prepared tea as Y/N picked at the crimson cushions of a worn armchair, separated from the hospital walls by a few thick curtains. 

“You were thinking of him when you used the ball, yes?”

“Yes,” Y/N answered honestly. “Well—I probably was. I think about him all the time.”

Madame Pomfrey nodded gravely. Y/N was struck by the oddity that was a situation where she was discussing her love life with the school nurse.

“Madame Pomfrey,” she began, “When I first started having the dreams, he would always come to me in his Quidditch robes. Even if it didn’t make any sense. But then all of a sudden he started appearing in his normal school robes. I wasn’t sure what that meant.”

“I’m sure the books don’t mention that,” said Madame Pomfrey. “I think that phenomenon is rather rare. It’s uncommon that this whole dream scenario occurs, too. You’re a medical miracle.”

“But do you know?”

“Though those aren’t quite dreams, there is still an element of mental manipulation that is at play.” She paused to hand Y/N a steaming cup of tea, the delicate china filled with a delicious smelling golden color. “Forgive me for my crudeness. You see, your mind brought you the version of Draco that you thought about the most. Or at least what he was wearing then.”

“Oh.” Y/N felt the heat rush to her cheeks. In more straightforward terms, Madame Pomfrey had just told her that she dreamt of him in his Quidditch robes because she thought he looked hot in them. “Oh, Merlin. I’m sorry you had to spell that out for me.”

The smile that Madame Pomfrey sent her was amused. “That’s quite alright. I imagine that you’re very confused.”

“How do I stop it?” Horror washed over Y/N as something awful occurred to her. “Can I stop it?”

Madame Pomfrey turned around, the floral pattern of her robes swishing as she faced her desk. “Unfortunately,” she said, “The effects on your magical signatures can only be healed with time. But the ‘dreams’ will cease with this.”

She held out two vials.

“Why two?”

Madame Pomfrey gave her a knowing look.

“Oh, Merlin,” said Y/N, sure she was about to be sick. “Can’t you give it to him instead?”

“It would do you two good to work this out between yourselves,” said Madame Pomfrey. “Trust me.”

There was something in the gentle, maternal scrunch in the corner of the woman’s eyes that made Y/N trust her words. Even if she would rather eat dirt than talk to him about this in person.

“Does Trelawney know about the dreams? She only mentioned the magical signature to me.”

“I’m not sure,” admitted Pomfrey. “Like I said, it’s an uncommon occurrence.”

“Alright.” Y/N swallowed. “I’ll—I’ll be going then.”

That night, she tossed and turned in her bed for what felt like hours. Sleep just refused to take her as she rolled over on her mattress, repeatedly shoving her hands under the cooler parts of her pillow in an attempt to sooth her racing heart. Would she see him again?

“I don’t know where we are this time,” said a terrifyingly familiar voice, just when Y/N felt like she was going to drift off.

She shot to attention, clutching her duvet to her chest. Dream Draco sat next to her on her bed, his chin propped up on his palm as he watched her. 

Except for he wasn’t Dream Draco. The boy sitting mere inches away from her was Real Draco. He crept closer, his hands pressing into the bed on either side of her as he dipped his head down to kiss her jaw.

Real Draco was kissing her.

“This is my room,” Y/N blurted, hoping that Susan, who was sleeping soundly behind a curtain, would ignore her voice in this dimension. 

Draco’s lips detached from her neck as he sat back, his brows slightly furrowed. “What? How? I don’t know what your room looks like.” 

“I know,” said Y/N. The pounding of her heart pulsed in her ears. She wanted so, so badly to tell him, but she couldn’t do it. The words simply wouldn’t come out of her mouth. So she squeezed her eyes shut and kissed him properly. 

She would let herself have this, just this last time when she knew that it would never happen again. Once he knew she was real, that he had actually been involved with a muggleborn all this time, he would shun her.

When she finally pulled away from him, she studied his face, trying to find any traces of the Real Draco she’d come to know in Potions. His pupils were blown out, making his eyes an onyx black, and the porcelain pallor of his skin had been slightly sullied by a dusting of pink on his cheeks. 

He looked perfect.

“Is everything okay?” he murmured, his hand reaching out to brush away a lock of hair that had fallen across her face.

“Why are you doing this?” she countered. 

“What do you mean?” His eyes narrowed slightly.

“As in, why are you touching me?” she clarified. “I’m a muggleborn. I know you would never want me in real life. I know you don’t like me, either. So why are you doing it now?”

Draco seemed at a loss for words.

“You don’t have to answer.” Y/N found herself hoping that he would agree, move on, and kiss her senseless again. 

It was not her lucky day.

“Well…” Draco’s gaze cast upwards, and Y/N reminded herself that this was him, Real Draco, about to give her a real, honest answer. “I don’t know why I do, I suppose. Clearly the whole muggleborn thing hasn’t been too much of a hold up for me, especially since it’s hardly as if anyone knows about this.”

Y/N nodded. She desperately wished that he would correct her, tell her that no, he had developed feelings for her and wanted for her when he saw her every day.

“Wouldn’t you do the same?” he asked, suddenly meeting her eyes with a defensiveness that surprised her. “I know that’s bloody ridiculous of me to ask you, and I know it’s pathetic I keep having this dream, but truly. I’m—well, you know. I don’t have anyone who I can be like this around. Even if it’s all fake.”

Draco Malfoy was lonely. That much was obvious to Y/N. The revelation didn’t come without pain, though. Not only was Draco Malfoy lonely, but he was using her. And he wasn’t using her because he liked her. He was using her because she was there and she was convenient. 

“Did you mean it?” he asked. “When you said that you liked me?”

“Of course I meant it,” she said.

“Of course,” he echoed, and for some reason he looked like he was going to be ill. “I’m sorry. I know I’m not supposed to tell you this is a dream and that you’re not real. Sometimes I just wish you were.”

Her heart stopped. “R—really?”

“I’ve finally lost it,” he mumbled, running his hands through his hair with a frantic motion. “I can’t believe I’m telling a product of my imagination all of this. Fuck.”

“Well—funny story, actually—”

He was fading, his edges blending into the background as he began to become more transparent. Draco had just given her the best opportunity to confess, and he was waking up. If she hadn’t been so thrown off-kilter, she would’ve screamed in frustration. 

“Y/N? Are you alright?”

A steady hand laid on her shoulder, giving it a firm shake. Y/N felt her eyes open—really truly open in reality—and saw Susan staring down at her, still in pajamas. 

“Yes,” said Y/N, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes. “Did I wake you up?”

“You were tossing and turning like crazy,” explained Susan. “I’ve been up anyways. I haven’t slept well since…well, you know. Were you having a nightmare?”

“Something like that,” she muttered. 

“You saw him again, didn’t you?”

“And I couldn’t tell him,” said Y/N, pulling the blanket up to her chin and hiding her face. “I chickened out. I’ll have to wait until tonight. If I even dream of him again.”

“That’s not true,” said Susan. She reached out, her sunflower colored nails pulling the duvet back. “Man up. Tell him this morning.”

“Merlin, no!” she moaned. “Are you mad?!”

“You should tell him in person today,” said Susan. “Just think about it. If he says he feels the same way, then you’re going to feel so silly for not telling him sooner.”

“But I don’t think he does.”

“You’re going to have to tell him anyway,” Susan pointed out. “Might as well rip off the bandaid. Start healing now so you’ll be ready for the real Prince Charming when he comes.”

Y/N got ready for class that day in a daze, her mind running calculations on every possible way the scenario could go poorly. He could laugh at her and tell every Slytherin that she was a whore and would give it up for anyone. He could tell everyone that she was pathetic and had no self respect. He could spit in her face, set Parkinson on her, slander her name…

He wishes I was real. The thought kept creeping its way into her mind, cropping up when she brushed her teeth, when she fluffed her lashes with her mascara wand, when she slid her feet into her oxfords. He said he wishes I was real.

Thinking about it for too long was making her head hurt until it felt like there was a black hole in her chest, sucking in any unrelated thought and tracing it back to Draco. It was getting exhausting.

It was rare to see Draco Malfoy walking around between classes without his Slytherin entourage. So when she saw him in the hall alone before Potions, she interpreted it as a sign from Merlin himself to go for it.

“Draco—I mean, Malfoy,” she said, stepping in front of him. “Can I speak to you for a second?”

He froze. The hand that wasn’t slipped into his pocket was clenched into a fist, and his jaw appeared tight. “What do you want?”

“Er…” When she looked up to meet his gaze, she was struck by just how much taller he was than her. He was already staring back, his silver eyes unwavering. “Can we go somewhere private?”

“No,” he said blandly. “I’m busy. Can’t this wait until class?”

This bothered her. He’d been shagging her for a week, and he couldn’t even look at her when she approached him in public. In fact, it bothered her so much that she was cured of her temporary tongue tied-ness. She wanted to shock him now; she wanted to witness his epiphany.

“It’s me.” She jutted her chin up further. “It’s me you’ve been dreaming about.”

He was completely still, his expression indecipherable. 

“You know how you said that you wish that all of this was real?” she continued, recruiting her hand to emphasize her words, her fingers splaying out. “Well. Surprise.”

“How?” The word was strangled, hoarse. He looked like he was about to be sick.

“Apparently my crystal ball was cracked when I used it in class,” said Y/N. “And I’d been thinking about you when I touched it, so…” Her voice trailed off. The temporary bravado that had kept her going through the beginning of the confession was waning, sapping away the longer he remained silent.

Then he grabbed her wrist and yanked her down the hall.

“Where are we going?” asked Y/N, breathless from the sudden jerk of motion. 

Draco didn’t even look back at her as he yanked her behind a tapestry, waved his wand to cast a silencing spell, and loomed over her. There was something brewing in his eyes, something that seemed almost…primal. She’d never seen him look at her like that before, and she wondered briefly if he would kiss her.

He didn’t. In fact, he was keeping a careful distance from her, despite the cramped nature of the space. The blood from his face had long since drained, leaving his skin a panicked gray.

“You can’t tell anyone,” he hissed, his low volume entirely unnecessary considering the silencing charm he’d cast. 

Oh. A pang of raw hurt rattled through her chest, though she had a feeling that he would react like this. “I haven’t exactly been bragging about it to the masses,” said Y/N, hardly managing to hide the pain in her voice. “It would’ve made me sound unhinged if I went around telling everyone how I had dream sex with you. Your dirty little secret is safe with me.”

His eyes narrowed. “Do you think this is a fucking joke?”

“You know it wasn’t a joke to me,” Y/N snapped. “I made it very clear. You, on the other hand…”

“I’m not talking about that,” he spat. 

“Then what else?” She had never heard him speak with so much venom in his tone. Part of her wondered how her Dream Draco could ever be the same person as the glowering Draco right in front of her. 

“You know what else,” he said stubbornly.

“I told you; I don’t,” said Y/N. What was she missing? “I won’t tell anyone that we had an accidental interdimensional friends with benefits arrangement. What else, pray tell, am I withholding from the general public?”

There was a vein in his neck that was protruding out of his ashen skin. “Are you really going to make me say it?”

“I guess,” she said, sullen. It was strange how quickly they’d gotten comfortable bantering with each other. The mystique around Draco had long since faded now that she knew that she was dealing with the Real him every night. 

“My mark,” he hissed.

“Oh,” gasped Y/N. “I forgot about that.”

“Oh my fucking god,” groaned Draco, his tapered fingers coming up to pinch the bridge of his nose. “Are you joking? You forgot that? Are you dense?”

“I thought that wasn’t real!” exclaimed Y/N, panic rising. He’d just revealed to her that he was a Death Eater. Like, a real Death Eater with a mark and everything. And Voldemort had mentioned a task…”I thought that was just a nightmare.”

“I can’t believe you.” He huffed, air leaving his lungs with a sharp puff.

“In other news,” said Y/N, who was trying her Very Best not to lose it over the fact that her crush was actually a Bad Guy, “Pomfrey gave me the cure to stop the dreams. She wanted me to give you a vial. Drink it before you fall asleep tonight and you won’t see me again.”

He plucked the vial out of her outstretched hand, swirling the liquid around before downing it in front of her in one go. The speed in which he was willing to give her up just like that made her heart lurch.

“You can’t tell anyone what you saw,” he said once he swallowed. “No one will believe you, anyway.”

“I know,” said Y/N. “I’m not going to tell anyone. I promise.”

He gave her a look that was full of suspicion.

“I’m a Hufflepuff,” she said slowly. “Remember that conversation we had two nights ago? Loyal to a fault.”

“Loyal to your friends—”

“Loyal to you, too. Even if it’s stupid of me.” And that was the truth. Y/N could deny it all she wanted, but she knew that she would never turn him in. 

Draco muttered something unintelligible, but Y/N thought she caught a “no bloody self preservation” through the jumble of words. She hoped to hear more, but the commotion that was slowly growing in the hall told her that their time was running dry.

“I think we need to get to class soon,” she said. “I suppose…this is it, then?”

His hand twitched at his side. For a moment, it seemed like he was going to reach for her, but then his expression hardened and he stepped back. “Yes. Sorry if I got your hopes up.”

“That’s okay.” She smiled thinly.

The day dragged on. Y/N downed her own vial over lunch with Susan sitting next to her in the Great Hall, a hand on her shoulder as she told her that she was doing the right thing.

“I’m proud of you, Y/N,” said Susan, giving her shoulder a squeeze. “Look at us. Post Slytherin girls.”

Y/N laughed, but she certainly didn’t feel like she was making the correct choice. Instead, she felt like she wanted to mourn the version of Draco that existed in her head. Her Dream Draco had never been real—no matter how accurate his corporeal form, he was still fundamentally different when taking into consideration the social barriers between them.

He never liked her. He told her that himself, without a hint of remorse in his tone. And he was a Death Eater, too, with a task that he supposedly had to complete. That was something that she should probably think about more, she decided. He was literally playing for the team that advocated for her eradication.

The days began to blur, falling into the comfortable category of “normal school life”. Classes picked up, girls' nights plans were made, and the air began to cool. What didn’t change was her curiosity towards Draco. Slughorn had long since thankfully rearranged seating after Theo and Susan refused to speak to each other for a group activity, so she didn’t have to sit with him anymore. It was a small consolation, but it wasn’t enough to keep her eyes from wandering, landing on him and wondering what he was thinking.

It was frustrating, truly, to know that she had given so much of herself to someone that hadn’t even appreciated her. As she watched him through the tail end of summer and the beginning of fall, she noticed the spark in his eye dissipate, the bags under his eyes grow. There was a distinct greyness to his skin that made her concerned, and then made her angry that she was worried. He didn’t deserve her regard.

To keep her mind off it all, Y/N did something she never once imagined doing prior to 6th year—become a member of the Dueling Club. It was a formal group, entirely unattached to Dumbledore’s Army and school-sanctioned. The best wizards, generally just the 7th years, got to compete in tournaments. 

She hadn’t expected to like it so much. Defense Against the Dark Arts had always been one of her worst subjects. But there was something so satisfying about firing off spells in rapid succession, running the mental calculations for her shields, and eventually disarming her opponent. She liked the rawness of it all. The saltiness of her sweat was cleansing. When she was in the dueling circle, her blood and house didn’t matter. And, surprisingly, she was good. Like, really good. It had been a slow start, but if Hogwarts was invited to a tournament any time soon, she would be joining the 7th year Gryffindor boys in competing.

Dueling was a distraction, but it certainly didn’t solve The Draco Problem in its entirety. Sometimes, at night, she’d wonder if she’d manage to wake up next to him like before. But no luck—Trelawney had been religious in checking the integrity of all the crystal balls before she distributed them again. Y/N was not dream shagging anyone, no sir.

It was nearing December when he finally approached her.

“Y/N,” he said after class one day, catching up with her as she walked down the corridor. “Do you have a free period now?”

“Why?” She didn’t—she had Divination, obviously.

“I need a moment with you,” he said, his eyes darting to the group of Slytherins walking in front of them. “Alone.”

Her heat thudded. “Oh. Okay.” Who was she to say no to that? He led her down a side corridor, holding open the tapestry that they’d hid behind the last time they’d spoken directly.

“What is it?” she said, wincing at the sharpness in her voice. He blinked at her. 

“I found out what happened with Theo,” he said. Her heart dropped. This wasn’t about them after all. 

“What do you mean?”

“He didn’t cheat on Susan,” he said. “Pansy started that rumor. The girl he was with was his sister.”

“Theo has a sister?”

“An older one. She graduated a while ago.”

“Oh.” Y/N frowned, picking at her cuticles as she refused to meet his eyes. “Well, thanks for telling me.”

She had missed the sound of his voice. 

“Sure.” He cleared his throat. “Also—don’t go out with that Ravenclaw bloke, okay?”

“What?”

“Boot,” he clarified, waving his hand dismissively. “Don’t.”

“Why would I?”

“Because I told you to.”

Y/N blanched. “Draco, that was months ago. Believe it or not, I don’t do things just because you tell me to.”

He was silent for a few moments, but he didn’t make any motion to leave. Instead, his silver eyes scanned her face with an unreadable expression on his own.

“You still haven’t told anyone,” Draco said finally. It wasn’t phrased like a question. He stated it like it was a fact, like he was pointing out something to her of which she was otherwise unaware.

“I said I wouldn’t.” 

“I thought you were lying.”

“Well, I meant what I said.” She jutted her chin out, remembering how she had stubbornly, stupidly pledged her loyalty to him.

“All of it?”

She scowled. Was he this dead set on humiliating her? Again? “Have I not told you enough times already? Are you deliberately forgetting everything I tell you, or are you actually that dense?”

“Forget it. Whatever.” There was an air of sincerity in the sulky way in which he was regarding the ground. She let that be the excuse for her next action.

“Hey.” The single syllable falling from her lips had firm kindness to its delivery. Just as she’d hoped, he looked up, his grey eyes locking onto hers. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. I thought you were going to make fun of me. I did mean everything I said. I still do, but I’m not going to fall over myself to involve you in my life when you’re so dismissive of me.”

“I’m sorry,” he said, looking genuinely apologetic.

“It’s fine,” she replied. Her voice was flat. “It’s not your fault you don’t have feelings for me.”

If anything, it felt like it was her fault. She’d had weeks of uninterrupted time to spend with him, and she still hadn’t been able to get him to have any semblance of feelings for her.

Draco didn’t respond to her statement, but he was staring at her with an intensity that made her feel uncomfortable, like he was trying to read her mind or something.

“What do you want?” he said, finally.

“What do you mean?”

“What do you want,” he said, looking mildly impatient, “in exchange for your silence?”

She flushed red, but this time it was in anger, not embarrassment. How dare he think that she could be bought!

“I can buy you anything you want,” Draco said before she had a chance to respond. “Even a—I don’t know. I can buy you a signed copy of Spencer’s autobiography. Or enchanted hair pins that’ll keep your hair from falling in your face when you brew. A thousand of them. Or a villa in Italy. You can have a key to my Gringotts vault. Anything.”

Though his offers to buy her a home or give her access to billions of galleons were attractive, they weren’t what shocked her. She was more surprised by the fact that he’d remembered that her favorite author was Adrina Spencer. And that her hair always fell into her face in Potions.

“Draco, stop,” she said gently. “I don’t need any of that. I don’t want anything.”

“You have to want something.”

Well, fucking obviously, she thought. No shit, Sherlock. I want you.

“What I want can’t really be bought,” was her vague way of saying just that. 

His eyes flickered to meet hers again, and her breath caught. He understood.

“Don’t get me wrong. Obviously if you start dating Pansy or something I’m not going to switch up,” she continued, though the thought of him with another witch made her sick. “I meant it when I said I knew that it was always a pipedream to expect anything from you. But I like you enough as a person, independent from what you are to me. I wouldn’t sell you out like that. Just because I want it doesn’t mean it’s a necessary condition.”

Her hand, that had otherwise been resting at her side, brushed up against something. It startled her, making her jump. Then she realized what it was.

Draco’s fingers tentatively brushed against her skin, pausing when they touched her palm. His touch was chillingly cold, just as it usually was when they first touched in her dreams. His skin would eventually warm, though. It always did. 

He nudged her fingers away from her palm, loosening the fist that had formed and slipping his fingers into hers. 

It wasn’t until she felt his breath fan over her face that she noticed how close he was. It wasn’t until she watched his eyes flutter shut as he bent down that she realized he was about to kiss her.

“No,” she gasped, pushing him away with both hands. “No. Don’t—don’t do that.”

There was that feral look in his eyes again, like he was a cornered animal. “What? Why?”

“That’s despicable,” she said, feeling nearly sick to her stomach. “You can’t.”

“You like me,” he said slowly. He was staring at her like she’d grown a third leg. “You want me.”

“But I don’t want you to whore yourself out to me! Merlin. That’s…that’s disgusting. That’s too far.” To her horror, she could feel tears cropping up in her eyes. Then something else struck her. “Draco…Is everything okay? Why are you doing this all of a sudden?”

“Everything’s fine.” The way his jaw clenched told her that everything was not, in fact, fine.

“You can tell me,” she said softly. “I won’t say anything.”

“The last thing I want to be is more indebted to someone.”

“You’re not indebted to me!” huffed Y/N, tossing her hands in the air. “This is what loyalty looks like. You owe me nothing.”

“But I dragged you into all of this.”

She frowned deeper. “No. I dragged us both into all of this by having a stupid crush and using the wrong crystal ball. But anyway. The point is that bad things happen, and they’re awful, and I wish they didn’t, but I’m here for you.”

“I don’t understand you,” he said, but there was no venom in his tone. 

“I need to go. I’m already late for Divination,” she said, feeling like she’d had her fair share of emotional devastation for the eon. “Don’t worry, okay? And…I know you won’t take me up on it or anything, but if you ever want to talk to someone about…whatever your task is, I’m here.”

24 hours later, Katie Bell was in critical condition as she was whisked away to St. Mungo’s. So Y/N heard, at least. She hadn’t seen it happen herself, and for that she was grateful. No one deserved to be Imperio-ed before being cursed by dark magic within an inch of their life, but out of all the undeserving souls, Katie was at the top. She had been nothing but incredibly kind to Y/N and all of her Hufflepuff friends. She would go as far as to say that Katie had no enemies at Hogwarts.

The excitement around the castle dulled in the days leading up to the holidays, dampened by the tragedy. Y/N was scared to walk around at night, even if she wasn’t alone. She suspected Susan felt the same way after she appeared out of breath after she came back from visiting Theo in the dungeons. They had miraculously made up since Y/N told her the news from Draco. Apparently Theo had been in a state all fall, wondering desperately what he had done to make Susan move on but being too prideful to ask. They were inseparable now, which Y/N had mixed feelings about. She was thrilled that her best friend was happy again, but she missed having a single partner in crime.

To make things worse, Justin Finch-Fletchley had developed a strange fascination with her, asking to study with her during free periods and bragging about the wealth of his muggle family. It was getting exhausting trying to find new corridors in the castle whenever she saw him spot her in the hall and begin to make his way towards her. If he started talking, he’d never shut up now, despite his initial sourness. Y/N didn’t mind being kind to him—she tried to be nice to everyone she met—but she drew a hard line at being made late for her next period because he wouldn’t stop telling her about his holiday in Monaco. 

It was especially bad once he learned about her participation in the Dueling Club. All of a sudden, he wanted to join and was wildly interested in being a gentleman by walking Y/N back to the Hufflepuff dorms. Coming up with an excuse was tough—they were both walking to the same place, after all—so she resorted to taking off a few minutes early and choosing the most incomprehensible, winding paths to keep him from following. Her fear of what happened to Katie Bell was largely overshadowed by the very real concern that she could be cornered by Justin and forced to hear about how all of his siblings attended Eton.

The Dueling Club had their last meeting the night before the Hogwarts Express arrived to take students back for the holidays. It had been a tough few days. The general malaise that had been present in the student body following the Katie Bell instance was piled on top of the pre-existing midterm exam stress, making the last week actual hell. Y/N had hardly slept, spending most of her time in the library. 

She was basically asleep on her feet as she stumbled out of the Dueling Club’s meeting room—a long, wide space by the Gryffindor Tower—and began her trek down to the Hufflepuff dorms. In fact, she was so exhausted that she thought she was hallucinating the Draco Malfoy that appeared in front of her at first. 

Then she blinked and found him still there, staring at her with an intensity that made her wonder if he was going to jump her.

“Y/N,” he said. “Are you busy? Can we talk?”

“Is everything okay?”

His silver eyes flicked to the space behind her, and Y/N heard footsteps begin to echo down the hall. Justin had guessed her path to the dorms correctly and was probably moments away. “Yes. Do you mind if we go somewhere else?”

When she agreed, he reached out, grabbing her hand and pulling her down a side corridor. This one didn’t have any torches, and the inky blackness would’ve startled her if it wasn’t for the warmth of his fingers laced through hers. Despite the fact that this wasn’t right—he didn’t like her, he didn’t see her like that, and he didn’t want her—it felt comfortable, reminding her of all the times that she’d anchored her hands into the spaces between his fingers. 

They finally stopped once the footsteps in the main corridor faded. Draco cast a silent Lumos.

“What’s wrong?” asked Y/N, because he had definitely been lying when he had said that everything was okay. He looked more frantic than usual, his pristine locks mussed and his frame deathly thin. 

“Nothing,” he clipped. His voice sounded raw, and it cracked in between the syllables.

“Don’t lie to me, Draco. I can tell you’re not well. What’s going o—”

“Do you still think about me?” he interrupted. The small white light glowing at the tip of his wand moved as his hand trembled, making his eye bags appear even more pronounced.

“Of course I do,” said Y/N, frowning.

“Do you—do you still want me?” 

Her first instinct was to be offended by the vulnerable position he was putting her in—once again—but he didn’t look like he was about to jeer at her, so she gave in. “Of course, Draco. I’m sure I always will, even if that’s a little silly.”

“Okay.” He gulped, then nodded, like he’d finally processed her words in their entirety. “Okay, that’s good.” 

“But you never answered my question,” said Y/N. “What’s the matter? I know you didn’t just come find me to chat.”

“No, I didn’t,” he agreed. Then he did something curious—he lifted his free hand from his side and tucked a lock of her hair behind her ear, letting his fingers remain pressed to her jaw.

“What—” She froze, her voice dying as his thumb swiped across her bottom lip, the rest of his hand cupping her neck. The heat of him against her made her sleepy, and her drowsiness reminded her of how it felt to lie next to him after they were spent, listening to the rise and fall of his chest and reveling in the warmth of his bare skin. 

The pad of his thumb tugged gently at her bottom lip, opening her mouth just slightly. Then he leaned in and kissed her.

Y/N wasn’t sure what she’d been expecting. Maybe fireworks, maybe sparks, maybe the sensation of her heart beating out of her chest. But despite the fact that she’d never kissed Real Draco in real life, it felt no different than how he kissed her in their dreams. 

He pulled away for just a moment to cast a nonverbal Nox and tuck his wand into his pocket, plunging them into darkness. Not like that caused her any trouble in finding his lips again. At this point, she’d become so familiar with him that there was no need for light anymore, even if it had been a bit since she had touched him.

Y/N’s hands fisted into his black robes, pulling him impossibly closer as he pressed her into the wall, his arms surrounding her and caging her in an embrace that made her entire body thrum. 

Draco kissed her with a desperation that she’d never felt in their dreams. It was like he was drinking her in, savoring every part of her that he could touch. When she gasped at the feel of his hands fisting gently in her hair, he took the opportunity presented by her parted lips and kissed her deeper.

His hair was just as soft as it was in her dreams. He smelled the same, too—that crisp black tea and cedar scent that she had come to love. 

When their lips finally parted audibly, both gasping for breath, Draco busied himself with adjusting her robes, gently pulling her collar back into place and straightening her cloak with such casual affection that it made her heart skip. Though there was little natural light in the corridor, her eyes had adjusted enough to see his face.

“Oh, God, are you okay?” gasped Y/N. Even without him making eye contact with her, she could see the tears shining in his eyes. “Hey! What’s wrong?”

Draco opened his mouth, but instead of saying anything, he let out a shaky exhale and cast his eyes to the ceiling.

“Draco,” she admonished, putting both hands on each side of his face so he couldn’t move. “Tell me.”

He murmured something so quietly that she thought she had imagined it. “What was that?”

Draco shook his head, squeezing his eyes shut.

“Please,” said Y/N. “You can tell me anything, remember? Anything.”

“He’s going to kill me,” Draco whispered. “I’m going home tomorrow, and I think he’s going to kill me. I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry. I had to—I had to have a real memory of you. Before…”

Y/N was sure she was going to be sick. The desperation and franticness in his actions suddenly made so much more sense, especially when considering how generally unwell he’d begun to look. He was going to die, and this was him saying goodbye to her.

“You can’t,” she heard herself say. “You can’t—I won’t let you—”

“I cursed Katie Bell,” said Draco. “That was me.”

She blanched. “No—”

“Yes,” he said, more stern this time despite the tears that were beginning to stream down his cheeks. “And it turned out to be a colossal failure. So you won’t be seeing me again.”

All this time, Draco had been the one behind the act that made her scared of walking at night. It was him who had nearly murdered Katie in cold blood and casted an Unforgivable. 

But he didn’t want this. He didn’t want any of it. She’d seen that much in his dream. He trembled and shook in front of his master, flinched when whoever that scary looking woman was appeared at his door. He was no murderer. He was a boy with no other option. 

That was the long winded justification Y/N’s mind would settle upon later, when she’d had time to process the events of the evening more. In that moment, she gave into her biggest impulse—she threw her arms around him.

Her hands weakly attempted to brush away the tears collecting on his face as he shook against her, his shoulders heaving with silent sobs. She wept, too, pressing her face into his shoulder and trying to commit to memory everything about him—the way he smelled, the way his hair felt, the texture of his skin. 

“There has to be another way,” whispered Y/N. 

“There isn’t.”

“But—”

“Y/N, I’m tired.” A hand wrapped around her right wrist and squeezed weakly. “I’m sorry, love. I’ve thought of it all. I can’t do anything without putting my mother in jeopardy.”

Then he collapsed in her arms and cried anew, his breath stuttering and hitching as his fingers twisted in her robes. She held him as close as she could, running her fingers soothingly through his hair and swallowing back her own sobs.

What a fucked up world, she realized, that a 16 year old was curled into a ball on the floor of a dark, abandoned corridor, prematurely mourning his own death. 

“In another life,” he whispered once he was breathing steadily again, “I would want things to be different. For us. I would have been better to you. I’m so sorry.”

Y/N didn’t know if she could trust herself to form words, so she just nodded instead, clutching his robes. 

In retrospect, she had no idea how long they spent clutching each other on the dusty floor of the 4th floor side corridor. She never felt like she had lost consciousness, but dawn came quickly, weak winter light filtering in through a small window ahead.

“I’m so sorry,” he said finally, extracting himself from her hold and standing up. She followed him, keeping her hands tangled in his robes. He bent down once more and pressed their lips together. It was a salty, sad kiss that lingered before he finally pulled away. “I’m so sorry for doing this to you.”

“You could come stay with my family,” suggested Y/N, her voice rising with hysteria. “You and your mother. I would make sure he wouldn’t find you.”

“He would. And that’s assuming I could get my mother out in the first place.” 

“But—”

“Y/N,” he said hoarsely. “If I don’t come home, I won’t be able to ever come back to Hogwarts.”

She let that sink in. He was right. She knew he was right. There was no way that he was going to be able to come back to school. Voldemort would come find him and figure out a way to punish him and his mother. “There has to be a way. This can’t be it. He surely can’t just kill you.” 

“I’ve tried everything,” he said, his voice softer. “I’m sorry. He might not. But it’s very possible he will when he learns about my lack of progress.”

The relief that washed over her was weak and brief in nature. “He might not” was hardly a promising claim to cling to, but it was all she had. There was nothing else she could say, nothing else she could suggest as they walked out of the corridor together, his fingers clutching hers tightly.

“I’m going to see you again,” said Y/N, her voice firmer than she was expecting. “I’m going to. You’re getting through this.”

Draco dropped a kiss on her forehead before letting go of her hand. “I’m so sorry. You, of all people, didn’t deserve this.”

The way he blew past her assurances, not even gracing them with a dissent, deeply disturbed her.

“I have to go now,” he said. 

“Okay.” She smiled thinly at him, reaching out to touch his wrist one last time. He let her, not pulling away as he watched her wrap her fingers around his pale skin, squeezing once with affection. “Promise me you’ll be okay.”

“Goodbye, Y/N.” And then he was gone, his long robes swishing in the castle draft as he disappeared around a corner.

To say she was devastated was an understatement. Y/N spent the rest of her morning trying to pack her things, but it felt so silly and trite for her to be folding her knickers when her not-boyfriend was about to meet his end. She wondered incessantly what he’d be doing, what he’d be thinking. He was scared, that much she knew. She’d never seen Draco look so terrified as he did in the corridor.

When she rode back on the Hogwarts Express, she had her head on a swivel, craning her neck for as much as a glance of Draco, but he was nowhere to be seen, not even when they unboarded at King’s Cross. She supposed that was a blessing. Her last memory of him—it wouldn’t be her last, she scolded herself, he would survive—was of the Draco she wanted to remember, the one that adored her and touched her softly. 

~

Traditionally, Y/N had loved Christmas. Her grandmother, who lived in London, would come out and visit them and help them cook a marvelous Christmas Eve feast. Y/N would always bake cookies with her friends, exchange presents gleefully, and enjoy the holiday movies that were finally in season. The holiday break was a perfect length of time for her to catch up on everything in her old life without missing magic…too much.

But this time, all Y/N wanted was to go back to Hogwarts and see Draco alive. She did enjoy catching up with Iris and Dasha—Lucille was on holiday in Nice—but whenever she caught herself having too much fun, she was suddenly reminded of Draco. How was his break going? Had he already been…Was he…

She would suck in a deep, rattling breath and cast the thought from her mind. Nothing she could do would protect him from the dangers he was facing at the Manor. 

Though she didn’t dare break out her wand to use magic, she ran through her dueling positions, stretched, and went on jogs in her free time. When she would go for runs, she would sprint until her legs and lungs burnt so much that she couldn’t continue. She welcomed the way her breathing shortened and her trachea thickened. It made her feel alive, like she was shedding something.

At night, she dreamt of Draco. He was always just out of reach, wearing the stricken expression he’d had when they’d said goodbye. She tried to scream out to him, to beg him to stay with her, but he’d always fade into the mist, his body eventually disappearing. 

By the time that January came, she was very, very fit, the product of neurotic exercising. She felt like a wild animal, except instead of running from natural predators on the savannah, she was running from any thoughts that involved Draco and his well-being.

Her mother gave her an extra tight hug when she dropped her off at King’s Cross, brushing her hair over her shoulder and cupping her cheek in a way only mothers could.

“You write to me,” her mother said, her words firm. “I want to know how you’re doing, my darling girl. I’ll miss you.”

“Goodbye, mum,” Y/N said, tears pricking her eyes. She hadn’t felt the compulsion to cry when leaving her family for school since she’d boarded the train in first year, but all of a sudden she felt like a child all over again. A lump formed in her throat. She would dearly miss her mother and her father and her friends, the only remaining evidence she had that normal, average life could exist. “I love you.”

“I love you too, dove.” Mrs. Y/L/N kissed her cheeks before she waved for the last time and made her way across the parking lot. 

Y/N did not see a flash of bright blond hair as she waited on the platform, but she did see Terry Boot sitting alone on a bench, reading the Prophet.

“Terry!” she said. He looked up, beaming when he saw her. 

“Y/N!” He scooted over to make enough room for her on the bench. “Come sit. How was your break?”

“It was good,” she said. “Nothing exciting. What about yours?”

Terry launched into a story about how his little brother had had an episode of accidental magic and set their older, graduated sister’s hair on fire. For the first time in over a month, Y/N laughed heartily, feeling the affection for her dear friend warm her guarded heart. As all-consuming as her Draco thoughts had been, nothing could compare to the years of friendship and connection between her and Terry.

“Read anything interesting?” asked Y/N, motioning to the Prophet. She tried to say it casually, but there was an underlying stiffness in her words. If Draco had been killed…there would have been some kind of story. Right?

“Nah,” said Terry. “You want to read it? I always forget that they basically cut you off when you go back home. Bloody ridiculous, if you ask me. If you want to stay informed, why shouldn’t you, I say!”

“Sure!” said Y/N quickly. She narrowly held herself back from ripping open the pages and wildly flipping them to see if the name Malfoy appeared, but that would be a little Uncool and Abnormal. She would have to wait for the train ride.

Susan was apparently sitting with Theo, Terry told her when they eventually boarded. Y/N had just missed her. The Slytherins had managed to get onto the train first to secure the nicest compartments.

“Figures,” Y/N said, trying her best to deliver an unbothered snort. Hannah eventually joined them, and soon enough they were departing from King’s Cross. Y/N waited until the conversation died off before beginning her read.

There was nothing. No mention of the Malfoys. Just plenty of “How to Protect Your Family from Death Eater” articles and tragic stories about the ransacking of local magical businesses. 

She finally let herself breathe. Thank Merlin. There weren’t even any Purebloods in the obituaries except for an elder Prewett, who was, in the most delicate way possible, old as dirt anyway. What conversation she had with her friends didn’t imply that there was any new drama with the Sacred 28, at least none that was worth sharing publicly. 

He was okay, she thought, her heart beginning to flutter. He was okay, and he had kissed her before she had left. 

Even further, he had actually been attracted to her. When Madame Pomfrey had told her that she had seen Draco in his Quidditch uniform at first because that’s how she thought about him the most, she’d totally forgotten that that was a two way street. Draco had not just been thinking of her in her Slytherin party slip, he’d been fantasizing about how she’d look wearing it without tights. 

Before the events in the corridor, she wouldn’t let herself consider the possibilities. And directly following them, she had been too heartbroken to even think about his feelings towards her. But now that she was almost certain he was alright…

Was he going to find her again? Was she going to experience everything with him again—but this time, in this plane of existence? She couldn’t see why they couldn’t. It was a bit too much to hope for, she conceded, but following the events before they left, there wasn’t much reason for him to continue ignoring her.

She would be okay with a secret relationship. If anything, it would be mutually advantageous. If they snuck around, she wouldn’t have to worry about the wrath of Pansy or any of the other Slytherin girls who were betting on snagging Draco for their pureblood husband. She would clarify this when he found her again and snogged her senseless, this time without the overarching theme of doom and gloom.

Distantly, Y/N knew that this was all a pipe dream. She didn’t really expect Draco Malfoy to be her boyfriend. But she hoped, hoped, hoped that he would be her something. 

She was positively buzzing with energy as they walked into the Great Hall that evening. She still hadn’t seen any of the Slytherins, but Susan had appeared at the Hufflepuff table.

“Hey, Y/N,” said Susan. “How was your break?”

Something in Susan’s composure deeply disturbed Y/N. It reminded her greatly of when she had first told Y/N about Theo—the way she nervously fiddled with her braid and smiled too widely.

“It was good!” said Y/N. A pit was beginning to form in her stomach. “What about yours? Did you see Theo?”

“Er—yes,” said Susan. “We spent time together at his summer villa in Naples. It was lovely.”

“That’s great,” said Y/N, and she meant it. Susan deserved to have a boy that would take her on lavish vacations. And so did Y/N, obviously, but she was working on that. 

The Great Hall doors creaked open, and Y/N would have turned to see who had entered if it wasn’t for Susan grabbing her hand. 

“And he gave me this bracelet!” she said, shrilly. “Look!” 

She shoved it into Y/N’s eyesight. The gorgeous yellow gems caught in the light, glittering under the stars. 

“Very pretty,” said Y/N. “Are those diamonds?”

“All of them,” said Susan, and though there was a flicker of pride in her face, Y/N could tell her mind was elsewhere. “He had it specially made for me while we were in Italy. A family jeweler kept on retainer, I think.”

“On retainer” was such a rich person phrase, Y/N thought. She nodded, smiling brilliantly.

There was a flash of blond in the corner of her eye, and she whipped around.

There was Draco, alive and well and sitting down at the Slytherin table. He looked healthier, too, his robes clean and pressed, his hair shiny and his face relaxed.

Oh, he was alive. She let out a quiet sigh. 

Draco looked up from his conversation with one of the Greengrass sisters, and their eyes met, just briefly. Y/N couldn’t help but let a little smile of relief creep onto her lips. She could feel embarrassed by how obviously she was staring at him from across the room later—right now, she was riding the euphoria of knowing that he was okay. 

A flutter of satin green robes appeared by Draco as Pansy Parkinson came into view, sitting in the seat beside him. 

Susan’s nails dug into Y/N’s thigh. “Y/N,” she said, barely a whisper. “I’m so sorry. I was going to tell you, I swear. I just couldn’t find you on the platform.”

Y/N was about to turn to her friend and ask her cheerily what she was on about. There was nothing to be told. Draco was okay, he was alive, he liked her back—and he was also brushing the hair out of Pansy’s face and kissing her cheek, just a few tables away and right in her sight. 

Now she understood.

final a/n: i haven’t had a chance to start on p4 yet, but it might be a bit before i have it ready as that will ACTUALLY be the finale lol. things are kind of picking up in my life (i’m picking up some old hobbies, i have a research deadline, and i’ve got to move/get a visa) so i can’t promise much, but i love this story too much to stay away from it for long!

tags: @writeandtranslate @sycathorn-slush @gruffle1 @missmultifandommess @cleopatera @hahaboop @accio-rogers @geeksareunique @eltanin-malfoy @war-sword @cams-lynn @itsivyberry @ayo-cowbelly @nerd-domland @yesnerdsblog @shizarianathania @evanstanfanatic @strawberriesonsummer @hariosborn @night-ving @straightzoinked @imintoodeeptostop @naiomimoonshard @jejegu @ophelia-enthusiast @alwaysbeanunknownfan @nearly-memories @litty-dumb @callieclearwater @malfoy-wife15 @charlenasaxen @belladaises @fiantomartell @yiamalfoy @crystalox @dracoismybabey @dreamcxtcherr @decaffeinated-turtle @marrymetheonott @felicityofbakerstreet @daedreamss @sycathorn-slush @writeandtranslate @erisdogwood @loveissupernatural @sycathorn-slush @big-galaxy-chaos @lilyrachelcassidy @ynalouis @sivuda @zzoz942 

[dukeofonions]

The Problem With Asides

Before I get into anything I want to clarify that this is not going to be a criticism of the two Asides episodes we’ve gotten so far. This is a critique of the concept of Sanders Asides as a separate series from the original Sanders Sides. A second note I want to make is that this is, just as all my other posts are, a personal opinion. This is not meant to be an attack on anyone, just a general criticism from a confused writer and viewer of the show. 

And final disclaimer: A lot of what I’m going to say is based on information that I no longer have available. It’ll mostly be me recalling things I heard and if I at any point get something wrong please feel free to let me know. 

That being said, let’s get into this, shall we? 

(Fair warning this post is very long hence why I’ve divided it into parts so feel free to read then come back as you wish)

Part One: The Concept of Asides

Some time ago last year, I believe shortly after Dealing With Intrusive Thoughts came out, was when the idea for Sanders Asides was first announced. The basic concept of it being shorter, more lighthearted videos focusing on the Sides outside of the main storyline. This format would allow them to give us more Sides content in between the long waits for the main series since those episodes were beginning to take more time to produce. 

Of course, everyone was eager for more Sides, so the majority of people were excited. Not only that but due to the main series tackling heavier themes, the episodes were becoming more angsty with less time for the characters to just relax and goof off with each other. The idea of having episodes reminiscent of the low stakes, sillier, happier content of season one was a welcome break from the more complex episodes and would be a nice return to form for the series. 

We were also informed that these episodes would be much simpler than their main series counterparts and wouldn’t disrupt the work being done on Sanders Sides, which meant we didn’t have to worry about long gaps between the main story episodes, right? 

(Another disclaimer: I am perfectly aware of the main reason why we were not given as much content last year and am not blaming Thomas or the team for doing what was necessary to keep themselves safe and hope they continue to do so as this continues into the new year)

Jump to November 22, 2019, where we got our first official episode of Sanders Asides, roughly five months after DWIT came out. Which, for this fandom, was record time to get more content and I was pleasantly surprised by how quickly they were able to get this out. Though at the same time, I wondered why it took five months to make what was meant to be a short, simple episode. 

So imagine my surprise when I went to watch the episode and saw it was nearly 20 minutes long. Which, okay, isn’t that bad when you compare it to the lengths of the more recent Sanders Sides episodes. But at the time, I was under the impression that the Asides would be, well, much shorter. The longest I expected would be maybe 15 minutes, but you know what? It’s the first episode and it has been a while since we’ve had Sides content, so maybe they wanted to give us a little extra due to the long wait. 

I started the episode and at first, I was overjoyed when I saw the first shot of all the Sides sitting in the living room in their onesies about to have a movie night. This was exactly what I’d been hoping to see from this series! It’s pretty much a staple thing in the fandom for the Sides to have movie nights together, and now it was happening in canon! 

At the moment, I had high hopes for this series and was filled with joy. 

Then that hope and joy were immediately crushed when I realized this was yet just another Virgil-centric angst episode. In fact, this entire episode was, well, exactly like a regular Sanders Sides episode. Sure, there were some jokes here and there, but the tone of the episode was no lighter than the last Sanders Sides episode. If anything DWIT felt lighter in comparison to this one. 

Which leads me to ask, what the heck happened? 

Part Two: Literally the Same Show

At this point in time, we’ve only had two episodes of Asides. Usually, I try to hold off my judgment of a series until I’ve had at least one other episode to see if my original criticisms still stand. 

To be fair, I did think Flirting With Social Anxiety was a step in the right direction. More comedy, a lighter tone, yes. Perfect. But again, just like with Are There Healthy Distractions? This episode quickly dove right back into the angst pool, and just like ATHD it was a pretty long episode, clocking in at almost 25 minutes. 

Not only that but again, both FWSA and ATHD don’t feel any different from the episodes we’ve been getting in Sanders Sides. 

1. They’re just as angsty.

2. Roughly the same length as Sanders Sides episodes.

3. Take about just as long to produce.

4. Contain a lesson to be learned. 

Which, okay, you can have lessons in lighter shows too, but we’re already getting that in Sanders Sides and Sanders Asides was described as, well, being less plot heavy. Yet so far both episodes are still tied in with the main plot. 

ATHD deals with the aftermath of DWIT, not directly but it’s pretty obvious that the whole thing with Virgil’s reveal at the end of that episode is being addressed in the background. Which, kind of takes away the impact of that ending, but I’ll get to that later. 

Then FWSA takes place after Putting Others First and again, is dealing with things from that episode in the background. Again though, this isn’t necessarily a bad thing. It makes sense to see the characters dealing with things from past events.

So why is it a problem here? Because, again, Sanders Asides is meant to be a separate series, and all the subtext brought on from the episodes in Sanders Sides makes the plots in these two episodes confusing. 

For example, I was perplexed during my first watch of FWSA because I couldn’t understand why the focus of the conflict was lying. I didn’t understand why Virgil and Roman came to the conclusion that Thomas’ reason for being unable to approach Nico was because he was lying to himself, when both the title of the episode and what we were shown points more to, well, social anxiety being the problem. 

(Quick note: One could argue that this was done purposefully to have Virgil putting the blame on Janus since he doesn’t like him and wouldn’t want to admit that he was the one responsible, but this series has had a bad habit of favoring Virgil in the past so until we get more answers I’m gonna leave this on the backburner) 

It didn’t help that I had no idea when this episode was meant to take place in the timeline, and I originally thought it could take place a bit after season two since Roman and Virgil seemed to be doing better, but more on them later.

All of this bugged me until I found out that FWSA takes place after POF, and after watching the live stream that followed and getting some more context, the lying thing made a bit more sense, but the fact that I was as confused as I was just caused more frustration to build up. And I wasn’t the only one who got thrown off by the “Lying is wrong” message of FWSA so I had to ask again, why was this episode a Sanders Asides when apparently, you need information from the last Sanders Sides episode in order to understand it?

So you’re telling me, that the second episode in what is supposed to be a separate series that isn’t meant to be a part of the main plot, is now integral to the plot of the main story you’re telling in what is, as you have said, a separate show? How does that make any sense? 

Okay, one could argue that Thomas getting a love interest doesn’t really fit with the current storyline that’s going on in Sanders Sides, and that is a fair point. The problem with that is, FWSA takes place right after Putting Others First. 

You all remember what happened at the end of that episode, right?

Part Three: Intrusive Plots

At this point we’ve all become rather accustomed to the long waits in between videos, it’s nothing new to us, and for the most part they haven’t done anything to harm the current plot of Sanders Sides. Sure, the length of time between videos can cause people to lose interest, but for the most part the tone of the last three episodes of Sanders Sides hasn’t differed much and the story flow is still going along smoothly. 

Let’s start with Selfishness vs Selflessness, which is the episode that sets up the big climax for season two. It’s still got its jokes and funny moments, but the overall tone is far more serious than previous episodes have been. This carries on into DWIT where Thomas has been so stressed out lately that he’s begun to have trouble with his intrusive thoughts. 

Virgil even gives a pretty good summary of Thomas’ current mental state: “He recently realized he’s a bigger liar than he thought he was, he doesn’t understand himself, he’s committed to skipping a big callback, and he’s sleep-deprived. So yeah, he feels like a piece of dirt who has no control over his life.”

And all that was a direct result of the ending of SVS, despite DWIT not being the direct follow up to that episode the two are still intertwined. Remember that for later.

DWIT ends with the long awaited reveal of Virgil having been a “Dark Side.” Even though the majority of the fandom had figured it out by as early as Can Lying Be Good? That didn’t take away from the emotional gut punch that this scene was and it’s one of my favorite moments from the series. I may have to make a whole post breaking that scene down but what matters is that this scene was a turning point for Virgil’s character.

We’ve seen him trying to hide the truth from Thomas ever since Janus and Remus started popping up, and there were close calls with both of them nearly revealing it themselves and continuously dropping hints to Thomas. Only for Virgil to admit it to Thomas himself, and leave before Thomas can even say a word. 

We don’t know for sure how Thomas is feeling in this moment, but it’s clear he’s been shaken by this. He doesn’t really have a lot of time to process it before he remembers to acknowledge the audience and close out the video. 

This comes up again once we finally get to the monster of an episode that is POF, the follow up to SVS that everyone had been waiting over a year for. Right away we see that Patton and Roman will be at the forefront of this discussion with Logan popping up every now and then, but who doesn’t show up in this episode despite having played a role in SVS? 

Virgil. 

He’s nowhere to be seen and his absence is definitely felt. Why wouldn’t he be part of this discussion? He was there in SVS and had a lot to say on the matter, he was even part of the decision to choose the wedding over the callback! So why wasn’t he there? 

Well, just look at the ending of DWIT and there’s your answer. Of course he isn’t about to show his face after that. Not when Thomas is already under so much stress already and he isn’t sure how Thomas will react to seeing him-

*insert random voice whispering off to the side*

 Wait, Virgil has seen Thomas since DWIT? When? 

*whispers continue*

Oh, right, they interacted in Sanders Asides. How did that go again? 

*whispers explain*

Huh? Thomas said he’s cool with Virgil despite revealing that he’s been hiding something from him this whole time? That “something” being the fact that Virgil was once considered part of the others that were currently making Thomas’ life miserable?

*whispers confirm*

Really? They’re both okay with each other now? Well, good for them. 

So wait, then why didn’t Virgil show up in POF? He was there during the first discussion and honestly he’d have more of a reason to show up than Logan who wasn’t really present at all in SVS. 

*whispers explain* 

He just wasn’t need there? Hm, alright. Guess that makes sense… 

Well okay, Virgil and Thomas are on good terms once POF rolls around, Virgil isn’t present during the conversation because he isn’t needed and I suppose his presence would make things worse. Especially once Janus revealed himself, he wouldn’t allow him to get a word in. Even though Janus could probably silence him but I digress. 

Fast forward towards the ending of POF, remember when I said to remember how SVS and DWIT were connected? Well DWIT is just as important to POF, acting as a bit of bridge between to the two episodes. 

Janus brings up Remus (both directly and indirectly) twice in this episode.

First here:

 Notice how Roman’s breakdown is already being foreshadowed here, the camera focusing on him while “Logan” says this isn’t an accident. 

The second time Remus is brought up is at the very end after Janus has revealed his name:

“Oh, Roman thank God you don’t have a mustache. Otherwise between you and Remus, I wouldn’t know who the evil twin is.” 

(No I am not posting screenshots of this scene I already got emotional over the last one)

As we saw at the end of DWIT, Roman does not have a good relationship with is brother. So much so that when Thomas refers to Remus as such, Roman creates a different analogy that compares Remus to a mirror, reflecting everything Roman doesn’t want to be. 

Roman desperately wants to distance himself from Remus, not wanting anything to do with him. We’ve only gotten a glimpse of just how far this loathing goes, and part of that comes from Roman finally breaking down after being told by Janus that if it wasn’t for a mustache there’d be no difference between him and Remus.

This shook Roman more than anything else in the show has so far, moreso than him being the one to decide that Thomas should give up the callback. He was the one that pushed Thomas to make that decision, believing it was the noble thing to do, only for it to only make Thomas feel worse and then be told by Janus that his “noble sacrifice” was all for nothing. 

Janus, the one who had been supporting Roman throughout SVS, buttering him up and encouraging him to go after his dream, told him that his sacrifice was worthless. Then to top it all off Janus admits what he did and brushes it off as a joke. He doesn’t apologize to Roman, leaving him in the dust, then when Roman responds by laughing at his name he’s shot down even lower. 

And when he looks to Thomas and Patton for help, for answers, anything.

They stay silent.

Patton tries to reassure him, telling Roman that they love him, but he doesn’t believe it. He sinks out, and that’s the last we see of him.

Selfishness vs Selflessness, Dealing With Intrusive Thoughts, and Putting Others First are three of the biggest (and dare I say most important) episodes in the series. The three almost act like a trilogy, with POF leading to something bigger, the season finale. Which will be culmination of all three of these episodes. 

We’ll be seeing Virgil’s reaction to Janus having been accepted by Patton and facing his own past as a “Dark Side.” Then we’ll find out what has become of Roman after he disappeared at the end of POF, and how it now affects his relationship with Thomas.

*whispers return and begin to whisper*

I’m sorry what?

*whispers repeat*

Virgil already knows about Janus getting somewhat accepted? Well okay I guess he would, wish we could have seen his reaction to that but oh well, no big deal. At least we got the Roman and Thomas confrontation to look forward to. 

*whispers whisper*

Roman has already interacted with Thomas since POF? When?!

*whisper* 

In FWSA? Oh yeah, how did that go again? It was super awkward right? Since Roman doesn’t really trust that Thomas loves or values him?

*whisperly whisper*

They get along just fine as if nothing happened? 

*whispersty*

It looks like he might still be upset with him since he’s being a bit passive aggressive? 

*whisper* 

Can’t really tell because the three are too busy trying to talk to a cute guy at the mall? 

Okay, I guess that all makes sense… 

Looks like Roman and Virgil still aren’t on the best terms with Thomas but are able to push that aside to help him talk to this handsome stranger, and hey, it worked! Thomas now has a boyfriend! Just look at Roman and Virgil at the end, they’re both so happy with Thomas! 

Looks like now they can focus on this new chapter in their life and leave the events of POF behind them. I mean, now that Roman and Virgil seem pretty cool with Thomas it would just feel weird to suddenly have them angry with him again, wouldn’t it?

Part Four: The Problem

Sanders Asides was originally described as being a series separate from the main storyline of Sanders Sides. Promising us shorter, less complicated episodes to give us a little something in between the longer, heavier episodes in Sanders Sides. This was a great idea that ended up falling apart the moment it began. 

When I was going through SVS, DWIT, and POF I mentioned that the three of them felt like a trilogy. All three of them link together to tell one bigger story, and on their own they get the job done. They set up the season finale perfectly to the point where you have an idea of what to expect and what to look forward to. 

The main things being the aftermath of Virgil’s reveal and Roman’s breakdown, which would most likely cultivate in them teaming up against Janus. This would also involve Virgil coming to terms with his past and Roman having to face Remus. 

Of course, none of this has been officially confirmed, but given everything we’ve seen up to this point it just makes sense. 

The story for season two is nearly complete, all we’re missing is the conclusion. 

Then Sanders Asides showed up and threw everything off course. What was supposed to be its own thing crept into a story that was already (for all we knew) set up and being put into place. 

We were told that the Asides wouldn’t do anything to disrupt the flow of Sanders Sides, yet it’s been confirmed that there will be one or two more episodes of Asides before we get the season finale. 

Why? Why are these episodes necessary when everything was set to move forward after POF? If these episodes are that important that they absolutely have to be made before the finale then why are they simply not part of the main series? 

You could say “Well they’re not directly tied to the main plot, that’s why.” But need I remind you that Asides as a concept was just intriduced after DWIT came out? These episodes were written specifcally for Asides, which unless I’m wrong means that they were just added into the main story with no planning whatsoever. 

FWSA honestly feels like it should have been the start of season three, something that should have waited to be introduced after season two wrapped up because it’s just too much. 

We already have so much to unpack from SVS, DWIT, and POF now we also have a new love interest on top of that? 

Virgil and Thomas’ resolution doesn’t even feel all that special because it wasn’t talked about directly between them. Thomas was indirectly letting Virgil know they were still okay, so what does that leave for us? All that build up about Virgil being a “Dark Side” only for it to be brushed over like it was nothing, and this happened in an Asides episode, not even in the main series. 

It also makes Virgil’s absence in POF confusing when they had already set up the perfect reason for him to be absent in DWIT, but according to the first episode of ATHD Virgil and Thomas are okay with each other. Sure, Virgil being there might have made things worse but at that point everyone was making things worse. 

We no longer have a confrontation between Thomas and Roman to look forward to because in FWSA we see them interacting as normal. Even the passive agressiveness isn’t anything new to Roman and really, it all just sounds super petty which he had been known to behave like that even when nothing is seriously wrong. Not only that Roman is overjoyed at the end, having finally gotten something he desperately wanted, the happy ending he deserved.

All that’s left for him is to fave his feelings towards Remus, but what would even happen there?

The problem with Asides isn’t the quality of the episodes, FWSA is actually one of my favorite episodes. The problem with Asides is that the team is taking what should have been something small and turning it into a far too elaborate for what its original purpose was: To give us more lighthearted content to enjoy in between the waits for the heavier episodes.

Instead it just feels like they’re adding onto something that really didn’t need adding on to, creating more work for themselves when it just isn’t necessary, and that worries me.

Final Thoughts

Honestly, it’s hard for me to make all these judgments when no one has any idea what the finale is going to be like. And usually, the team is able to excede my expectations and create something amazing. 

But with all these new Asides episodes that feel like they’re just being crammed in at the last second, it makes me wonder how the rest of the series will go if they continue down this road. 

Season two started September 1st, 2017, it is now January 3rd, 2021. Throughout season two the production of episodes became more elaborate, and there have been complications that arose from trying to make these videos as a result that sent production screeching to a halt. And on top of that, these Sanders Asides have been added to create even more work for Thomas and the team.

I don’t understand why they’d do this to themselves when it’s already become more difficult than ever to make videos in general, not just Sanders Sides. 

We were offered something simple that would have satisfied everyone during the difficult times, only to be given something that honestly, wasn’t even needed. I do appreciate Thomas trying to get us more content, but I don’t think he or the team realizes just how content we’d all be with just a five minute video of the characters we love just doing something as simple as hanging out and having fun, especially with how dark things have become all around us. 

We don’t always have to be watching these characters struggle, sometimes we just need to see them be genuinely happy.

(Thanks to everyone who took time to read this monster of a post, I did not mean for it to get this long but it’s been dwelling on my mind for a while and I wanted to make sure I got out everything I wanted to say. Again, this is all just a personal opinions and you are not obligated to agree with me. If you have an objecting opinion I would not mind hearing it but please keep any discussions civil.)

[nooneactuallyasked]

Diner Gal - Reggie x Reader Part 8

Requested: It’s a series, there are no requests here!

Word count: 2,560

Warnings: Cursing

Summary: Julie and the Phantoms ( + Flynn ) go to a musical diner/café/restaurant for inspiration and hopefully a future gig but they end up meeting a very special waitress.

Note: This one is really long- the next part will be out tomorrow so be ready for that! Enjoy!

Edit: I FORGOT THE TAGLIST I’M SO SORRYYYYY!!!!!!

Part 1 here   Part 2 here   Part 3 here

Part 4 here   Part 5 here   Part 6 here

Part 6.5 here   Part 7 here

---

“Hey, Diner Gal.”

Y/N smiled at the floor before turning around to face her surprise visitor, “How’s it hanging, Leather Boy?”  She probably wouldn’t admit it out loud but Reggie’s random visits were probably the main reason why Y/N had been arriving at work extra early and leaving extra late. “Alright, Julie is kinda freaking out and getting Flynn to help her pick an outfit and then Flynn freaks out and gets Julie to help her decide on a theme for the marketing stuff. You?” Y/N shrugged, “The usual.”

“So, what can I do you for?” Reggie looked down, a red flush covering his cheeks and the tips of his ears, “Well, I kinda wanted to just hang out because Julie and Luke are “writing some songs” but we all know it’s just a date and Alex is with Willie and I’m willing to bet my left sock that they’re on a date too and I didn’t wanna be alone so I thought that you’re really nice so I came here.” A smile danced on Y/N’s lips and her gaze softened, he was too sweet and just hearing his voice made her cheeks heat up slightly. Reggie’s eyes widened and he met her gaze, a horrified expression painting his face, “Unless you’re busy, sorry, I’ll- I’ll just go-“

“Woah, Reg, chill out. I’ve just got to plan out the way we’re gonna decorate the room on Friday. Plus, I like having you around, it makes my job a lot less boring.” Y/N smiled before grabbing a black notebook an opening it to a new page, she scribbled down a title so she’d remember what it was for before bullet pointing her ideas. “You know, I just realised, how much work do you do? I mean, you’re around the same age as us, you have a job and you basically co-manage this place whilst also working here as an entertainer. Do you even go to school?”

Y/N chuckled and turned to face him, “This is a part-time job but I do usually sneak in extra hours just to help out Cal, he can’t do everything by himself and there isn’t anyone else to help him, plus he’s a family friend and basically my uncle at this point. As for school, I do online school which I pay for with this job, and it all comes full circle.” Reggie frowned, “Still, it sounds like a lot. You should come to Julie’s sometime during practice and just hang out. No folders, no notes, no work, just hanging out and having a good time! And  promise me you’ll start taking it easy”

“Alright, Leather Boy, I promise and maybe I’ll take you up on that someday. But for now, just focus on your gig that’s coming up in two days, not including today of course. Speaking of, do you mind helping me out with this, I get the impression you have a lot of ideas locked up in that brain of yours.” Reggie looked at her in surprise, “You really want my help? I mean, you could ask anyone for help, why me?” Y/N stared at Reggie, her brows furrowing as a  worried expression crossed her face, “Why wouldn’t I? Reggie you’re amazing and I wouldn’t want anyone else to help me.”

“Really?”

“Of course.”

---

“Finish up these papers for me, I’m going out.”

“Cal, I’m already doing more than I should, I have to finish off an essay and send it in before lunch. You haven’t even started your time listings for today yet.” Y/N blew at a piece of hair that kept falling into her eyes and glared up at Cal.

“I said finish them, I’m going out.” Cal slammed the papers onto her desk and walked out of the office. “Cal, what the fuck!” Y/N stood up, her chair slamming into the wall behind her as she ran after him, papers in hand, “Where the hell are you going?” “Out.”

Cal shot her a cold glare that made her freeze in place before walking out. Y/N groaned in frustration, throwing the papers to the floor, “Shit, fuck, kill me.” Sighing, she knelt on the floor and gathered the papers back up. “Fucking asshole, but he might have something important to do and he’s just stressed about it. Calm down, Y/N.” She kept muttering reassurance to herself so as not to lose her temper once again.

Y/N glanced down at the paper, it was her schedule for the note giving out extravaganza. Oh fuckerooney, she was meant to do that now and she was already late. Y/N ran into the office and stuffed all the notes into a bag which she slung onto her shoulder before sprinting out into the street and making her way to her first stop: Firecracker’s house.

---

“Y/N? You look like you ran all the way here…don’t tell me, you did, didn’t you.”

“Perhaps.”

Julie rolled her eyes despite the grin growing on her face, “You’re an idiot, you know that, right? And your face is really red.” Y/N gasped dramatically, bringing her hands to her cheeks in comical shock, “You don’t say?”

“Julie! Who’s at the door? Tell them to go away, we need to practice!” Both girls stared at each other for a second in slight shock before bursting into laughter, Y/N cleared her throat before turning to Julie, “You might want to cover your ears.” Julie raised a brow but complied as Y/N took a deep breath, “Oi, dunderheads! I thought you wanted your notes but I guess not!” Silence followed and it everything in her to not burst out laughing or snort. “And go…” Julie furrowed her eyebrows and the snickered at the sounds of scraping and scrambling that came from inside the garage.

“No! Please, give us the cheat sheet so we can win!”

“Not a cheat sheet and it’s not a competition but yes, please ignore him! We need your help!”

“Wait there’s a cheat sheet? No one said anything about a test!”

“Okay, boys, chill out and let her breath before she joins you in the afterlife.” Y/N sent Julie a grateful smile before setting the notes down on the coffee table and quickly stepping back as the boys (specifically Luke) dived for them. “So, as per mandatory instructions I need to explain the notes and help you use them to your advantage but I also took on all of Cal’s work until the weekend alongside my own so I hope you don’t mind me checking the finance’s, writing setlists and my essay and other work stuff. I promise you will still get the full explanation for each and every note!”

“You took on more? You already have so much, you promised that you’d take it easy!” Y/N rubbed her knuckles, “I know but Cal walked out on me earlier and hasn’t been himself lately so I needed to pick up where he left off. Plus, all the other workers need a manager and so that’s what I’ll become.” Julie sighed, stroking her finger along the piano keys as she sat down, “As longs as you’re sure it’s okay.” Reggie furrowed his brow but picked up his bass and slung it over his shoulder nonetheless, his concern and probable disappointment made the nasty, sinking feeling of guilt weigh down on Y/N. She didn’t like letting people down but she needed to do this, for her family, for Cal, for herself.

“So let’s do this, you can read through it and then I’ll walk you through it all.”

.

.

.

“Oh! Julie, can you call Flynn? I’d like to see what she’s got before putting everything out there.” Julie frowned, “Are you sure, you’re already doing so much, I don’t wanna-“ “Julie, it’ll be fine just call her up, I’d rather get this done, it’s now or never.” Luke snorted, Alex rolled his eyes but smiled and Reggie choked causing Y/N to raise a brow before shrugging it off, she just needed to see this through and then maybe Cal would be okay again.

A small smile made its way onto her face when she saw Julie and Luke link pinkies behind the piano, she didn’t that was possible but they were cute so you didn’t particularly us. And hey, she got Luke’s nickname spot on, so there’s also that.

“Okay, if you’re sure then I’m sure Flynn will be delighted.” Y/N grinned, “Sweetness, let me know when she’ll get here so I can prepare a space the printer in our office back at the diner.” Reggie furrowed his eyebrows and tilted his head, kinda like a confused puppy, “How do you prepare it? Are you leaving already?” Y/N chuckled and shook her head, “No, the printer is wireless and connects to all of the staff’s phones and laptops. Since I only have my phone on me I’ll be using that.”

“Ohhhh! That makes sense!”

“Yeah, Willie said something like that when we went sightseeing and we say printings being put out without anyone nearby.”

“That’s stupid, just draw them or something, what if the wireless breaks?”

“You’re talking loud for someone with bad handwriting.”

---

“Hey everybody, your favourite manager has arrived!”

“Thanks for coming, Flynn. Y/N is just setting up the wireless connection back to her office, have you got a copy of the flyer or something?” Flynn grinned, “You know I do, and can I just say that I really appreciate me and my talents and you should too. You’re welcome.” Julie chuckled and led Flynn over to Y/N who looked up at them with a smile. “Hey, Flynn, it’s really great to see you again. Sorry about the short notice.” Y/N picked at the tips of her nails, a bashful smile making its way onto her face, “No problem, since Julie ditched me for her invisible boyfriend and his band geek friends I haven’t had much chance to hang around, now you’re my excuse.” Julie rolled her eyes as Flynn stuck her tongue out in her direction.

Y/N chuckled and put her phone down beside her, “Well, I’m glad to be of service. So, may I see your masterpiece?” Flynn grinned and pulled her phone out of a pocket, “I thought you’d never ask.”

---

“Thanks so much, Flynn. Your flyer’s amazing, we might have to hire you properly.” Y/N winked, a bright smile on her face, “Really? I mean, these guys really need my talents but if I find some time away I might drop by.” The two girls laughed and then a thought popped into Y/N’s head. She rummaged through her bag and brought out her notebook; she ripped out a page and wrote her number onto it. “Here, Julie already has pretty much all of my contact info but I just remembered you don’t, so here’s my number.” Flynn smiled, “Thanks, I’ll put it in my phone when I get home.”

“Y/N! Do your job and help us now!” She rolled her eyes and stood up, “Once again, thanks.” Flynn sent her finger guns in return. She walked over to where the ‘band geeks’ were congregated around the piano.

“Okay, so it says ‘Remember to interact with audience members’ and ‘Move around when possible’. What does that mean?” Y/N smiled and leant against the piano, “The first one is simple, Cal really liked how you guys react with each other but since we are a performing diner the audience want to be included as well, so interact with them, send them smiles, wave at specific people, pick people out of the crows, that sort of stuff.” She shifted her body to a more comfortable position, “As for moving around, again, we’re a performing diner, everyone will have a mic pack, since you can pick up, hold and wear physical things I’m gonna assume you can wear mic packs too. I don’t know how your amps work though so just move as much as possible, Julie if you can do the most moving around that would be great, we’ll have some performers dancing and working around you but you guys are our main attraction when you’re performing. Just do what you can to the best of your ability, that's all we ask.”

“Well, I’m sure we can do that, right, boys?”

“Obviously, have you not heard us rehearse this week? We’re going blow everyone’s socks off!”

“I have a feeling anything could go badly though, what if the mic packs don’t work or one of us doesn’t appear when we start playing, or- “

“Alex, chill out, this isn’t a second hotdog, and if it is we’ll eat it so it knows who’s boss!”

“Uh, Reggie, that’s how we died, I’m pretty sure the hotdog won.”

“Huh, yeah, that checks out.”

Julie and Y/N caught each other’s eyes and burst out laughing, “Can you guys stop having your little ghostie jokes, I’m trying to boast that I’m well on my way to being a famous manager to the She-Devil herself!”

“Well, now I’ve fulfilled my part of this mission I have to head off to my next mission, Agent Y/N is officially signing out.” Julie smiles and Flynn walks up, “It was great to have you on this mission, we wish you luck in your next. Stay safe Agent, we hope to see you again.” The three girls saluted each other before snickering while the boys stared at them in confusion. Y/N walked over to her bag and slung it over her shoulder, “I’ll see you guys later.” She pushed open the garage doors, waving goodbye one last time before walking out.

Y/N started walking down the path before a loud smashing sound caught her by surprise, “Wait!” A weird sensation spread over her hand, it was warm but cold and it made her skin tingle before she felt pressure replace the weird feeling and fingers curl around her hand. “How can I help you?” Y/N turned around, plastering her customer service smile onto her face.

“Leather Boy?”

She turned to see Reggie standing there completely frozen, holding onto her hand as though it were a lifeline. “Reggie? You okay?” Reggie shook his head slightly and smiled before looking down, a sheepish expression crossing his face, “Can I hug you? Please?” Y/N’s softened and smiled brightly, “Of course, Reg. Come here.” She reached up and looped her arms around his neck as he buried his face into her shoulder, “I don’t get many hugs, the guys don’t like them and I feel like it would be weird to ask Julie.”

“Well, you can hug me anytime…that sounds really weird.” Y/N chuckles as Reggie gazes at her in admiration, “So what did scream at me and- break a plant pot for?” Y/N peers behind Reggie and finds the origin of the smashing sound. “Uh, well I was going to just say goodbye but since we’re here would you mind if I came by the diner later?” Y/N smirked, “Can’t get enough of me?” Reggie grew flustered and turned his gaze to the floor, “Well- I like looking at the food but you being there is definitely a positive.” Y/N blinked, now it was her turn to be flustered, she didn’t expect him to just come out and say something like that.

“Right, yes, well, I’ll see you there then. Um, bye.”

“Yeah, yeah, goodbye.”

---

Taglist:

@hereforthejatp

@slutforjjmaybank​   @morganayennefertyrell​

@dxestars​   @dcnerd98​

@ultraworthlessbitch​   @revolutionary-werewolf-ghosts

@underc0vercryptid-reads​   @miisacore​

[gra-sonas]

On the Season 2 finale of The CW series Roswell, New Mexico, while most of the attendees of CrashCon survived unscathed, many of the beloved characters were faced with choices in their own lives that forced them to make decisions that could set them on very different life paths in Season 3. How any of it will ultimately play out, only time will tell, but for now, there’s plenty of time to speculate while waiting for new episodes.

And in the meantime, we got on the phone to chat 1-on-1 with showrunner Carina Adly MacKenzie about tying up all of the family threads this season, shooting the last two episodes at a carnival, the scene that had to be cut, digging deeper into Max’s alien side, which character is most content with who they are, the importance of the abortion storyline in Season 2, how the plan for Season 3 will evolve, and what fans should make of that shocking final moment.

Collider: A lot of threads get tied up in this season finale, and you really pulled together a lot of the family storylines this season, from the Ortecho family, to the aliens and their family history, to Maria (Heather Hemmens) and her mother, to the Manes men, and even Cameron (Riley Voelkel) and Charlie (Jamie Clayton). Was that something that was always a really apparent theme for this season, or was that something that just happened, along the way?

CARINA ADLY MacKENZIE: That just happened. My only experience, other than working on Roswell, was working on The Originals, which was a show about family, so I think that my storytelling inclination is always in that direction. I also think that the age of the characters, when everybody’s coming into their 30s, that’s when you start to build your family, and you start to examine where you came from and decide where you want to go, as far as the people that you surround yourself with. And so, it just came about organically. I like telling family stories. I think that there’s a complicated nature to the people that you’re stuck with and who you were put here with, and figuring out how they fit in your life and whether they fit in your life is an ongoing process.

These last episodes have a lot going on, between a carnival, a fire, and all of these big things happening. What was it like to set these last two episodes in a carnival, and what were the biggest production challenges in pulling all of that off?

MacKENZIE: Well, I’m glad that we did it when we did it because I don’t think we’d be able to do it in a post-COVID world. Honestly, it was easier than I thought it was gonna be. We had a real carnival team come in and set up the carnival. The cotton candy truck was working and you could go get a fried Oreo in the middle of work. [Michael] Vlamis and I rode the rides, during a break. It was not as hard as it seems. We did have to cut one scene that we shot on the Ferris wheel because it turns out that it’s not that easy to shoot on a Ferris wheel in the daytime. I was like, “But I’ve got so many favorite shows that have Ferris wheel scenes,” and I realized that most of those are in the night because you don’t have to worry about these massive shadows getting cast over your actors, while you’re trying to shoot. But really, it was pretty seamless. Our crew worked really hard. Everyone was in really good spirits and really good moods. We shot all night, on weekends, trying to get that done, but everybody was very happy to be there. It was cool. It was fun. It was a little detour into childhood, riding the Sizzler.

Did you have to entirely cut that Ferris wheel scene that you mentioned, or did you just have to move it to a different setting?

MacKENZIE: No, we had to cut it entirely. After it was shot, we looked at it and it didn’t look like our show. It was a scene between Kyle (Michael Trevino) and Steph (Justina Adorno), so I was sad to see it on the cutting room floor, but it’s hard to strap a camera to a Ferris wheel and send it on its way.

Having CrashCon does pay homage to the original series and their UFO Convention. Was that something that you intentionally wanted to acknowledge?

MacKENZIE: Yeah. UFO Con is a huge part of the culture in the real Roswell, so we definitely wanted to get there, eventually. It was a fun journey, deciding how to tell that story. Comic Cons tend to be inside with a lot of people standing in lines, and they’re not that pretty. So, we wanted to figure out a way to tell the story of this convention, but make it look cool and make it pretty. The carnival idea came up, as a closing night carnival, and it was super fun to film. We had a couple of very, very long, very, very late, and very, very cold nights at the fair, but it was fun for the crew. I think everyone was in super good spirits, and it was a fun way to end our run for the season.

Just when Max (Nathan Parsons) really does have everything that he’s wanted, he seemed as though he was willing to risk it all, in order to keep pushing for answers about his alien side. Why did you want to dig deeper into that, and why is he willing to put everything else on the line, right now, in order to get those answers?

MacKENZIE: When we meet with Max in Season 1, he has very much rejected his alien side. He’s got this whole never be extraordinary rule in his life. Knowing Liz (Jeanine Mason), and being in a relationship with Liz and seeing how inquisitive she is and how much she strives to solve the mysteries of the universe, has really affected him. I also think that, for a long time, he was willing to settle for a life that he was only half living, and seeing Isobel (Lily Cowles), in particular, really come into her own this season, and learn about her background and who she is and who she wants to be, has really influenced him. He’s got a curiosity that he just can’t satiate. Ironically Liz does, too, but their interests are not aligning.

By the end of this season, who would you say is most content in knowing what they need to do next?

MacKENZIE: I think a person who is most content, at the end of the season, is Alex. Losing his father, his renewed relationship with his brother, and the ongoing coming out process that he’s been experiencing, has brought him to a place where he’s figured out a way to be who he is. I think that we’re gonna see him really blossom next season.

I love that you also were able to not only have him find his voice figuratively, but literally, as well, with the song that he sang (called “Would You Come Home”).

MacKENZIE: Thank you. I’m really proud of that song. I wrote it with Leslie Powell and Charlie Snyder, who are really phenomenal songwriters. I’ve been writing songs for a long time, and this is the first time anyone’s ever actually heard one. It was really cool to put ourselves into Alex’s shoes and to direct Tyler in the performance of that, when we were in the studio. I love the way that the montage came together, and I’m very proud of it. I’m really excited for it to be out there. We’re going to release it on all of the various platforms, and all of my royalties are gonna go to the Trevor Project. Hopefully, it’ll do some good for the character and some good for the world, ultimately.

I also have to commend you on the whole abortion storyline this season. Abortion is clearly a topic that TV shows tend to avoid, and when shows do take that risk, they also tend to never say the word. Do you think that this being a sci-fi show and the character being an alien helped, in being able to explore that, or do you think that you would have been able to do that anyway?

MacKENZIE: I think I would have been able to do it anyway. I actually think that it was really important to tell that story in a very human way. The big conflict that came up was the amount of blood that we saw in the episode. There was a suggestion from the network, at one point, where they said, “Can you make the blood iridescent? Can you make it look alien and put the same effect on it that you put on the pods and on the glass?” And I dug my heels in really hard and said, “No, it needs to look bloody. It needs to look ugly. It needs to look like an act of violence. Forcing a woman to essentially perform an un-medically supervised abortion is an act of violence.” And ultimately, I’m really grateful for the studio and the network’s support in that. It was important that it felt very much like a human moment because that’s how we told it. We wanted to say, “Okay, what does this really look like? What does it really feel like, to be a woman in a desperate situation without access to the care that she needs?” I’m very, very proud of that storyline. It was hard and it was scary, but I think that we told it with a lot of love. I was very, very proud of Lily and very proud of Nathan. It was tough, but it was definitely worth it.

I’m guessing that you had a plan for Season 3, before you knew how the world would be changing. Will you be able to hold onto what you wanted to do for the third season, or are you thinking about and re-evaluating everything that you had planned to do?

MacKENZIE: Well, interestingly enough, the writers’ room took a break before George Floyd’s death. When we took a break, we had sketched out an entire season that was built around racism in the police department in this small town. And so, we are looking at that story with new eyes. We’re still gonna tell the story, but the pressure is on, more than ever, to get it right because it feels like the world is tuned into that station right now. So, we’re re-evaluating that, on our storytelling side, and obviously, we are also paying a lot of attention to how things evolve, as far as how we can tell our stories safely. We have a lot of contingency plans for how to sketch out a romance, if characters can’t be touching and kissing, as much as normal. And if we can’t pack our diner and our bar set full of extras, how do we tell stories in those spaces? One of the things that I learned, working on The Originals, from Michael Narducci, who was the showrunner over there for awhile, was that no matter what happens on set, when you’re the showrunner, even if it’s not your fault, it is your problem, and that’s how we’re approaching storytelling. The virus is frustrating. It’s not our fault and it’s annoying to have to re-evaluate the way that we tell stories, but our cast and crew’s safety is really, really important. And so, we are trying to creatively write our way out of a difficult situation, as every writer in town is trying to do right now. As an industry, we’re just gonna have to have to evolve and our audience is gonna have to evolve a little bit. We’ll manage.

Obviously, the end of the finale has a shocking moment, in regard to the aliens. What should we make of that? Is that something that will also be a big part of the next season?

MacKENZIE: Yeah, we’ve got a new character, and he’s around for the long haul, Farmer Jones. He’s gonna have some answers, and he’s gonna really take what the characters think they know about where they came from, why they’re here, and who their families were, and challenge those ideas. Jones’ story of what happened in 1948 is very different from Nora and Louise’s take on the story. We dug into Michael and Isobel’s family in Season 2, and I think it’s time that we do a little exploring with Max and make up for all of that work that Nathan was not doing, at the beginning of Season 2, and put him to work twice in Season 3.

~ CoIIider

[legendarymasterwolf]

E3 2019: My Thoughts on What We Saw

Alright, E3 is over this year, which means it's time to go over what we saw and my thoughts on it.

This is late, so some stuff here will be out already.

I'll be going by publisher alphabetically, so first up, we have...

Borderlands 3

I'm so freaking hyped to get lost in this hilarious world again. I've played Mordecai in Borderlands 1, Zero in 2, and Claptrap in Presequel. Still trying to decide who to play as in 3, but right now, it's looking like I'll pick FL4K, since he specializes in long range and has a few cute beasties by his side. Also, we're getting not one, but THREE action skills with each character. Not only that, but you can sacrifice your grenade skill for two equipped skills.

The Children of the Vault look like some worthy successors to Handsome Jack for title of "Best Borderlands Villains", though we'll see how they pan out on release date.

The gameplay that we saw of Moze looks smooth. Heck, everything about this game looks sleek and refined without doing away with the art style. Also, guns with legs.

Anyway, we not only got the gameplay reveal, but also Commander Lilith and the Fight for Sanctuary, a new DLC for Borderlands 2 that sets up 3, so I'm scrambling to finish the Handsome Collection on my PS4, which just got a lot more difficult now that I've bought RDR2 finally, along with several other games.

Control

I loved Alan Wake, and this is from the same people, so I’m hyped. The game looks great, has a suspenseful atmosphere, and it seems to play well. I’m looking forward to release date.

Call of Duty: Modern Warfare Reboot

I haven't bought a COD game since "Black Ops 2", though I have played the newer ones with a friend of mine. It looks good visually from the reveal trailer I saw, I'll say that much. No gameplay yet, but I know it'll be gritty, focusing on some of the more shocking moments of the original trilogy, like "No Russian" from MW2 or the nuclear explosion from MW1, so it seems we're bringing in more edge to the series. Still, I'm glad the campaign is back, and I'm interested to see how it will look.

12 Minutes

A twelve minute time loop where you're forced to relive the death of your wife and the only way to break it is to find out why she was killed? Sign me up.

Code Vein

I remember this one from last E3. Still the same opinion, too. Anime style souls game that I might buy for the story, which looks interesting.

Dragon Ball Z: Kakarot

So this looks REALLY good. It's like a deep RPG, deeper than Xenoverse was, with mechanics besides fighting like fishing, and as for the fights themselves, they seem to be more strategical than before, with a healthy dose of classic DBZ fisticuffs in there for good measure.

Elden Ring

A Souls game written by George RR Martin? Don't know too much about it besides that, but it looks cool based on the trailer.

The Dark Pictures: Man of Medan

Basically, another Until Dawn, but on the open sea during a storm. And I'm totally okay with that.

Deathloop

Another game from Arkane? The guys who made Dishonored? I'll take it. Besides, another time loop premise sounds interesting.

Doom: Eternal

If Fallout 76 was any indication, Bethesda desperately needs a win now to restore faith in their studio. Besides a few of the other games announced at E3 2019 that could do so, there was one that stood out in particular: Doom Eternal. I’ve already played all the Wolfenstein games, with the exception of one upcoming entry on this list, and based on what I’ve seen of Eternal, I’m going to like it due to the similarity in gameplay.

GhostWire: Tokyo

The presentation on the new game from the makers of Evil Within, another series to try now that I have a PS4, was memorable for a few reasons. First off, Ikumi Nakamura, the game’s creative director, was the main presenter and she was adorable. Seriously, it’s probably one of the best E3 presentations I’ve seen this year. I can’t remember the last time I saw one so genuine like hers, plus it helps that the Internet has fallen in love. As for the game itself, it looks great, with people disappearing in Tokyo and it being up to some guy with a bow and supernatural powers to find out why. The reveal trailer was all we got, but still, I can’t wait to play it.

Wolfenstein: Youngblood

The first game I’ve ever preordered, and this comes from a guy who never preorders on principle. It’s a Wolfenstein spinoff with BJ’s twin daughters, so yeah, I’ll buy it. Plus, it’s co-op, so I’m playing this with my best friend. Still trying to decide which twin to play, though. Probably Jessie, since my friend is gonna want to play Soph.

Paranoia: Happiness is Mandatory

Looks interesting, plus the gameplay reminds me of Shadowrun Returns.

The Sinking City

This one’s already out, but it looks good. Hopefully, it’ll be received better than Call of Cthulu before it. Plus, I’m all for a game where the protagonist is losing his mind, like Dead Space.

Werewolf: The Apocalypse – Earthblood

Set in the World of Darkness universe, like Bloodlines, except you're a werewolf instead of a vampire and it's from a different studio. Gameplay was revealed behind closed doors, but it looks good from what I've heard. We don't have too many werewolf games around.

Cyberpunk 2077

SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY ALREADY!

Yeah, this might be the first game I preorder for myself, since now we finally have a release date: April 16th, 2020. The new trailer we got gave us a glimpse of a default male V as well as what may be Jackie’s death (please don’t kill off Jackie, CD Project RED, I like him too much already). After V’s employer tries to double cross him, V tries to kick ass with his twin arm blades, which look really unique, before said employer shoots him in the head. The trailer ended with a major surprise: as V comes to in a junkyard, a figure in jeans, a tank-top, and a silver left arm approaches, and kneels to reveal a face and voice that sounds suspiciously like Keanu Reeves.

Yes, that’s right, for those who haven’t heard by the time this is posted, Keanu Reeves is in Cyberpunk 2077 and he’s playing Johnny Silverhand, a legendary rocker in the world of 2077 who may not be what he seems.

After the trailer premiered onstage, Reeves came out onstage to promote the game. He could barely get through the start of his speech, people were that excited to see him in the flesh. There was even a great moment where he described the game as “breathtaking”, to which a fan shouted out, “You’re breathtaking!”, to which Keanu responded in kind. We don’t deserve this man.

Anyway, at the end of his speech, Reeves gave a new look at gameplay as well as the game’s release date. The glimpse was only about 20 seconds long, but still, the new look at the combat, hacking, and what is presumably a digital afterlife or something like that was enough to get me even more hyped for this game.

Seriously, I couldn’t be more hyped. This game is gonna be massive and I just might preorder it.

My Friend Pedro

Switch game, but still looks cool. It’s already out now.

Sea of Solitude

I need to play more games that make me feel like this. The art style looks gorgeous and the theme is depression, so yeah, I may buy this one if I like what I’m hearing.

Star Wars Jedi: Fallen Order

Honestly, EA's part of the the expo was kind of depressing, especially when it got to Anthem. However, we did get more of Jedi: Fallen Order, and for that, I'm grateful, because this game looks great. Both the combat and lightsaber look slick as does the gameplay in general, and the voice acting is on point, from Cameron Monaghan to Forest Whitaker. We need a good Star Wars game for current gen consoles, and while The Old Republic is still my favorite, that's for PC. Also, while it has been announced that there are no microtransactions in the game, I'm sure EA will find some way to screw it up, but for now, it looks awesome.

Greedfall

I’m interested. Story and premise have me, a mix of 17th century colonialism with horror and the supernatural. Gameplay looks like my kind of jam, and we may be getting romance options too, based on some trailer observations.

John Wick Hex

Gameplay seems unique, plus it’s John Wick. I will always take more of Keanu Reeves.

Grandia HD Collection

I like JRPGs like this one, though it’s for Switch, so I can’t play it.

Way to the Woods

Looks like a cute adventure puzzle game. I might get it for PC.

Wasteland 3

This series looks like tactical Fallout, so yeah, I’m likely to give this one a shot since it looks good.

Blair Witch

A Blair Witch video game? That’s psychological horror?! With an adorable dog companion named Bullet?!?! Yes, please.

We didn’t get much besides a trailer and some gameplay, but I’m eager to see more.

The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild Sequel

Ugh, why is it that last year I was complaining about not having a PS4, now this year I’m complaining about not having a Switch?!

Anyway, this looks great and I want to see more. Especially since I’ve heard it’s going to be scarier than Majora’s Mask.

The Legend of Zelda: Link’s Awakening

Looks good on the graphics front, plus the gameplay additions looks promising.

And once again, I can’t play it.

Ultimate Alliance 3: The Black Order

Out of all the games on this list, this is the one I want to play most that I can’t play because, you guessed it, I don’t have a Switch.

I loved the original Ultimate Alliance games, so I’m sure the new one is gonna be a hit, what with the new combos, character designs, and references to the MCU, plus it’ll tie us over until Marvel’s Avengers.

Pokemon Sword and Shield

The Pokemon look cute, it is set in the world’s version of the UK, gameplay looks improved, and once again, I can’t play it.

Empire of Sin

It looks cool, plus I need more Mob style games to play. It’s also made by the people who are responsible for the next game on this list...

Vampire: The Masquerade - Bloodlines 2

It’s only in pre-alpha, but still, this one looks good. The original is on the Steam store, and there are fan made patches that improved upon what was originally a disaster. The sequel looks like a smoother version of its predecessor, with a few new abilities and mechanics put in. Again, it's in pre-alpha, so the final product will look much cleaner, but for now, I'm excited for its release date.

Shenmue III

First off, I’m royally pissed that Epic stole this one. That being said, the game looks great and I’m looking forward to continuing Ryo’s story on PS4. The gameplay looks great, the atmosphere is enthralling, and the English dub sounds good this time around. Still pissed about Epic, but at least I can play it on PS4.

The Outer Worlds

This still looks great. Since Fallout 76 took a nosedive and kept on going, we need a game like this to get that bitter taste out of our mouths. This still looks like a cross between Fallout and Borderlands, the true New Vegas spiritual successor that we need right now. The companions actually look helpful, have personalities of their own, and the Flaws System sounds really interesting, giving your hero a perk in enchange for a debuff for the whole game. Also the humor is great, too.

Marvel’s Avengers

Yes, the character designs don’t look so hot. However, those can be changed on the road to launch. That aside, I liked what I saw. The gameplay looks great, the voice cast has some top tier talent for the industry, and the promise of more heroes to be added after launch without the attached microtransactions has my attention.

Dying Light 2

I only played the demo for the first one, a game I still need to play, but I liked it enough to want a sequel. The usual free running mechanics look smooth, plus the addition of player choice shakes up the game, making your playthrough unique, so yeah, more of the good old stuff with a few new things sprinkled in.

Final Fantasy VII Remake and Remasters

The remake of FF7 looks AMAZING. The hybrid combat system looks like a dream, plus the character designs look top notch. In addition, the voice cast sounds on point for their respective characters. The hype around this thing was evident from the incessant cheering, we want it that much. We even have a release date: March 3rd, 2020. It’s been a long time coming, but it seems the wait to experience this classic for the second time on a different system will have finally been worth it.

Also, there was content announced for FF14 as well as two remasters: Crystal Chronicles and FF8.

Bet your ass I’m buying the remaster for FF8.

Biomutant

This has been described as Fluffy Devil May Cry. It’s accurate. I didn’t know you’d be able to customize your character, to! Combat looks fun, and it appears there is humor present if the narrator is anything to go by, so I’m interested.

Destroy All Humans! Remake

I never played the original, but I did read about it and hear about it from a friend. From what I’ve seen, the remake looks fun! Good parody of the 1950s and the updated graphics look great. Plus, Krypto seems like a fun, grumpy protagonist.

Gods and Monsters

This looks like a cross between Assassin’s Creed Odyssey and Legend of Zelda. Considering it’s being made by the same creators of the former, I can’t wait to see more of this in the future.

Ghost Recon: Breakpoint

I’ll be honest, I still haven’t played any Ghost Recon games, so maybe here would be a good place to start. Gotta say, I like the way Jon Bernthal presented. He just seemed at ease onstage. Plus, Bernthal’s dog looks adorable. Bam Bam is the real hero of the Ubisoft press conference.

Anyway, it seems Bernthal is playing Cole D. Walker, one of the antagonists of the game. Didn’t see any gameplay, but still, the game looks good. I need to play more tactical shooters in general.

Watch Dogs: Legion

I played the first Watch Dogs game. Thought it was cool, but overall it was a bit disappointing. I still need to play the second one, but I heard it was a major improvement, even if it wasn’t a financial hit. Still, this one put a smile on my face. The ability to recruit and play as anyone? A sarcastic AI as your companion? A grandma assassin? I will take all of it, thank you.

Also, grandma assassin.

Did I mention there was a grandma assassin?

Can’t wait for March 6th.

LEGO Star Wars: The Skywalker Saga

The LEGO Star Wars games were some of the first games I ever owned back when I played on the PS2, so I’m hyped for a collection of all 9 films in one game. We don’t know much beyond the announcement trailer, but hey, I’ll gladly take this one when it comes out next year.

Baldur’s Gate III

A video game that plays like a DND game? I can’t wait. Haven’t played the other games, but I’m sure I’ll be fine once I play that tabletop prequel they mentioned.

Battletoads

It’s an Xbox and PC exclusive, but still, glad this is getting a remake.

Bleeding Edge

This looks like an Overwatch reskin. The combat itself looks unique, though, so we’ll see how it goes.

Gears 5

We got a little more on Gears 5 this time around. We’ve got a look at Kait and how the Locust influence is threatening to tear her apart (that’s what I’m assuming, I’ve never played the Gears games). We also got a new mode, Escape. I might get it, since it’ll be available for PC.

Halo Infinite

If this is what Xbox Scarlett looks like, then Sony might have actual competition for once. This is the best the Halo series has looked in years, and considering how let down some felt after Halo 5, it’s about time. We’re getting the same badass Master Chief back, this time with no AI companion, as Cortana has suffered corruption due to being around for longer than normal and has gone psycho as a result. Regardless, the graphics look amazing and I can’t wait to see how it looks when it releases Holiday 2020.

Ori and the Will of the Wisps

I never played the original, but I might have to now, because this looks cute. The art style looks great and I’ll always be interested in games where you fight things ten times your own size. Plus, it seems to run smooth, and just by the sound of the story, it already has my heart.

Psychonauts 2

To cap things off, let’s end with a game I’ve been excited for since I finished the original months ago. The game seems to be coming along great, if the first level is anything to go by. Returning voice cast, new enemies and powers, new environments to explore, Jack Black voicing a Brain in a Jar, need I say more?

Also, this game looks to explore the water curse put on Rasputin’s family, so it will be a more personal and chilling story as well.

________________

So, there you have it. That’s my thoughts on E3 2019, half a month late.

What are you guys excited for? Leave a comment letting me know, especially if there was something I left out!

Until then!

[nidhoggssoultrap]

Headcanon Part 3

Dress up game...one character...inspired all this...wow. But, I was able to dig up some old “flames” because of this, so it’s all good.

Previous “Headcanons”:

https://nidhoggssoultrap.tumblr.com/post/190472389157/my-headcanon-nidhogg-louie-and-yvette-mostly

https://nidhoggssoultrap.tumblr.com/post/190581277697/headcanonsvingettessnippets-part-2

1. Since I have a special fondness for Camaros, I decided that Nidhogg will be driving that. A powerful black one that is a blast to drive. >:) My biases are showing, I know.

2. My "adaptation" is a cross over with Ultima. This is a very old series that has been an inspiration for years. Want an old school RPG to play? Try the Ultima series. The NES port of Ultima IV, Quest of the Avatar is excellent. But, the PC versions are better with Ultima 7 being considered the best and unfortunately going downhill from there. Still, it is an amazing old school series that is worth checking out and they are either free or low cost. Anyway, the Blood Curse problem is solved by instituting a "Virtue System" with Louie as one of the "Avatars", a shining example of virtue. Yvette will be one too as will quite a few others. The "True King" used to be like this, but because of his curse, he lost all virtue and is no longer an Avatar.

Nidhogg had NO idea that Louie was such a thing. No one did until he revealed it after the fight. Nidhogg had been trying for another power and as stated in the second batch of headcanon, he failed. Because of this, he is hit with a second curse, one that is not only painful, but scarring. Unlike the Blood Curse, only an Avatar can alleviate the pain once it flares up and there is no way to free someone from such a curse.

The "Fail Curse" basically means that you must follow the path of the Avatar and live in service to them. Failure to do so means being burned alive. Since Nidhogg isn't stupid or interested in killing himself(he did, however, consider it), he follows that path. The scarring goes from the heart and covers the upper left side of the body, except for the neck, face, and private parts(think heart attack area and that's generally where the scarring is). Still, having such scarring puts someone at a disadvantage in styling contests. The "Scarring" is the term I will be using in my "headcanon".

3. Remember the "He can't keep getting away with this!" Yvette says about Nidhogg? She tells Louie this and he point blank says, "he's not going to." This one came up recently, but I'm going to roll with it. It's based on something that apparently happens in a new Yvette Dreamweaver. After the death of Lunar,  Louie decides to pay her a visit in Lillith due to their mutual connection to Nidhogg. She's seen Louie before in Apple(first while he was on his motorcycle and second at a restaurant bar)  and thought he was "gorgeous." She considered the woman he loved "a very lucky woman". Nidhogg was NOT happy with this, but he acted like it was "no big deal". Anyway, Yvette and Louie tell each other about themselves a bit and he reveals that not everything about the Prime Minister is false, but does confirm that the Colonel is the "genuine article".  Yvette is sorry about Lunar's death and, of course, so is Louie. They agree to work together to stop Nidhogg. This would happen while Nikki and Kimi are in Apple dealing with Reid.

4. Speaking of beach theme in the last headcanon, Nidhogg's idea of "beach theme" is a t-short and boxer shorts. That's it. He's the same way with the Pajama theme.

5. I have another bunny involving Louie taking advantage of Nidhogg's love for him. It's basically a plot to steal back the White Blossom. It's a "date" that ends in "bedtime" and well, Louie succeeds in stealing the White Blossom. Needless to say, Nidhogg is well...displeased at being so used. It does not end for either one of them as they fight at the grave of Louie's father. Yea, mean bunny. I get those sometimes.

6. Nidhogg's parents were high ranking NCOs in the military. His father(I named Liam) was a "King of Cups" sort while his mother(Madam Zosha) was a "Queen of Wands." If one had to choose, it's agreed that Nidhogg took after his father and became "The Page of Swords" and ultimately "The King of Swords." He loved his parents very much and was present when they died. Liam died the same way Micheal Collins did(shot while going between cars). Zosha died soon afterward trying to avenge him. This is quite possibly his most painful memory and won't likely be surpassed. He was eight years old.  He lived for two years on his own before being discovered in Black Rock City by Louie's father. Yea, Nidhogg knows some hardship and knows how it feels to watch someone being accused of things they did not do (Liam was falsely accused of treason) and lose everything because of it.

7. Nidhogg learned to drive when he was 13. Self-taught on a manual shift jeep. He stalled only once, decided that it would never happen again and it didn't(that is, until the very end of the chase when Yvette finally fights back). He was a few years older when he learned to fly, but was quickly surpassed by Louie. However, as stated in previous headcanons, Nidhogg is a better driver.

8. There are four "loopholes" around the Blood Curse: 1. Medicines(Regent 7), 2. Inability to feel pain. 3. The ability to feel pain and pleasure as one. 4. Immune/Highly Resistant to curses. Louie becomes the 4th one due to Avatarhood.

9. It should have gone without saying that Nidhogg is a loner(which was why he was happy that Louie was similar). In fact, Shade was shocked that he would continue desiring Louie. Shade had assumed that Nidhogg didn't need anyone. Nidhogg's response? "Who said anything about need?" A lot of my favorite characters are like this.

10. Confession Bear: While thinking of the car chase story, I kind of laughed at the fact that there are two grown men embroiled in "gay drama" in front of a young woman, two teenage girls, and a talking cat. In the end, pretty much everyone knew what went on between Louie and Nidhogg, not something either of them wanted much.

11. In Headcanon 2, I made it clear that Louie was blinded by hate/rage. Because of this, some of his actions were a bit unbecoming of an avatar(this Ultima, this happens too. The point is that things can get complicated and being virtuous doesn't always work). Like: twisting and turning Nidhogg's words until it suited his purpose, ascribing words/actions to Nidhogg that he didn't actually say/do, using Nidhogg's actual words against him, and well, subterfuge. Louie succeeds in getting a good number of people to defect, but they end up siding with ORLANDO. Either way, League Tyr suffers losses because of it. Part of the reason Louie acted the way he did was due to desperation, but also the rage he felt toward Nidhogg, but it wasn't pure rage as he still loved his elder "brother"/friend.

At the end of their final duel, Louie strips him of his cape, his medals, and his weapons. He tells the girls, "If you have any last words to say to him, say them now because it'll be awhile before you ever see him again, if ever." He also uses Nidhogg's quote about fate against him("This is your fate").   All of this was done while Nidhogg suffered greatly under the "Fail Curse." Louie could have alleviated the pain while before banishing him, but deliberately chose not to.

He's also said this(when Morrison/Grey Raven was captured): "The opinions of others mattered little to your parents. Where are they now?" Er, yea...lowblow. Nidhogg's response? A raised eyebrow and he continued his argument as if Louie had said nothing of the sort and was STILL trying to persuade him to join the Night Order.

During the "chase" he finally does get to Nidhogg when he basically says, "The freedom you will bring is false!" And even worse, "I wish you had died as a child, buried in the snow with no one to give a damn about you. Then, I would have never known you and I wouldn't be cursed with the memories of you!"

He says a lot more, but that's the gist of it. Had it been anyone else, it would have the effect of a sneeze in a tornado, but because it was Louie, it, well, got to Nidhogg in ways no one else was able to. Yvette and Nikki simply angered/irritated him. Louie...well...made him cry. Er, sort of. I mean, this is Nidhogg, after all.  At that point, Nidhogg basically says "you never understood me, you never really tried" and makes a declaration that sends Louie in tears. Soon after that, Nidhogg tells all of them that there is no use arguing anymore because "you will never agree with me and I will never agree with you, so that makes things rather moot, now doesn't it?" When Louie offers a reconciliation, Nidhogg says that it's "too late now."

In the end, Louie regrets all off of it because he knew that Nikki was right: It was needless cruelty. He was also reprimanded by the Seer of the Avatar, who said the same thing and that vengeance had no place for an Avatar. Later on, Nidhogg tells him that he would have never been so cruel had the situation been reversed.

12. Of all those in the Night Order, only Nidhogg faced any real consequences. It was decided that being "Scarred" was punishment enough. Plot twist: He was set up by Ryan all along and Ryan was the one who finally inspired Yvette to become her own White Knight. Remember Ryan?

13. That power Nidhogg so desperately wanted and needed Yvette in order to obtain it? It would have destroyed him completely as his mindset was a bit "reversed" at the time. So really, Yvette and co. saved him and his soul.

14. Nidhogg, imo, is damned if he does and damned if he doesn't. If he's poor, he's jealous. If he's rich, then he's a hypocrite. If he's straightforward, he's an asshole. If he sugercoats, then he's a liar. He learned early on not to give a damn what others think for this reason as his parents went through the same thing.

15. The issue is that there was only one way to settle disputes. So, the stylings contests were something that seemed freeing, but it wasn't. It was a sugar coated tyranny. Such a thing created internal turmoil, hence "false peace."

16. Confession Bear: My first impression of him in his uniform other than "OMG HAAAWWWWT" was "OMG FASCIST!" But, then I looked up the Iron Cross and found that it predates any thought of Fascism/Nazism by about 200 years.

17. Nidhogg KNEW that there would be chaos. "Of course there would be chaos! Did you think I wouldn't know that!? But from chaos will come a new order and it will be under my firm, guiding hand!"

18. Yvette looked at all the gifts Nidhogg had given her after all that had happened. While keeping a low profile in Lillith, she wondered how much contempt/disdain/hate he actually had for her. It wasn't the first time she had such "friends", but Nidhogg's deceit hurt her the most. She found that people being honest with where she stood with them was far more preferable.  She thought of throwing the gifts away, but Kiki told her that the gifts didn't do anything, so she shouldn't. Yvette chose not to. She also remembered the "I like me speech" and that she had true friends.

19. Liliana(this is the 'artist' in my fic) works as a cleaner/maid in the capital building. She is a friend of Bobo and ultimately Yvette. She draws all sorts of things, including designs. Nidhogg actually used one of her drawings to make Bunny Stockings ("That's not his style.") Unlike the thief, he gives her credit and thanks her for being able to look at her sketches. After the coup, she thinks that he may have been looking at her sketchbook/photo album to see what she knows.

20. Nidhogg has a "take all you want, but eat what you take" attitude when it comes to food. This is from the military.

[duhragonball]

Dragon Ball Movie 3: Mystical Adventure

Mystical Adventure premiered on July 9, 1988 at that year’s Toei Cartoon Festival.   This is the third of the original Dragon Ball movies, and the last one before the movies were released under the Dragon Ball Z brand.  

Just to clear this up, there was a fourth movie, Path to Power, but it was produced in 1996 in honor of the tenth anniversary of the TV series.  Since I’m trying to do these in chronological order, it’ll be a while before I get to that one.

The title “Mystical Adventure” isn’t very descriptive, especially since it’s just the name of the opening theme song.    Personally, I think of this one as “The Emperor Chiaotzu Movie”, since that’s what I consider to be the most distinctive plot element.

I’ve always found this movie fascinating, because it follows a very different formula from the others.   Blood Rubies and Sleeping Princess basically took different parts of the original story and changed the antagonists and pacing, but never the main characters.   Launch does different things in Sleeping Princess than she does in the TV series, but she’s basically the same person, and she ends up living with Master Roshi in either version.   The DBZ movies abandon all pretense of retelling the original story, and ended up doing short, intense conflicts with little regard for continuity.   But this movie takes a number of major characters, mainly villains, and casts them in entirely new roles. 

I’m thinking that the reason for this was that Toei really didn’t have a lot of other choices.   The first film sought to retell the original Dragon Ball hunt, showing how Goku met Bulma and Roshi and the others and became a hero.   The second movie picked up where the first left off, adapting the story of how Goku and Krilin were accepted as students of Master Roshi.   So the plan was probably for this third movie to continue on that path and show the boys competing in their first World Tournament, only I’m not sure how you could retell that story and insert a new villain into that scenario.   Also, a lot of new characters had been introduced since the 21st Budokai arc, and I think Toei wanted to feature some of them, but how do you fit all of that into one movie?

The solution, it seems, was to set the Tournament in a whole new country, the Mifan Empire, and establish a bunch of palace intrigue involving the Dragon Balls.    With that, Toei had the means to make a movie that borrows ideas from the 21st Budokai, the Red Ribbon Army sagas, and even the 22nd Budokai while we’re at it.  

The plus side of this is that we’re treated to a much more original story than what we got in the first two movies.   What bugged me about those features was that the bad guys, King Gurumes and Lucifer, were the most notable aspects of their respective movies, but they barely did anything except stand back and let the Dragon Ball cast run through all their signature quips and moves.   Movie 3 makes a lot of callbacks to the TV series, but it has to do it differently because so many of these ideas have been smooshed together in one place.   Also, this movie moves really fast.   There’s never a dull moment, because there’s so many things it has to cover in a very short run time.   It’s probably the fastest 45-and-a-half minutes you’ll ever see.

The downside of all this is that it’s a little too fast and too complicated for its own good.   There’s a scene where Goku meets Bulma, and he asks if Yamcha came with her, and before he can wave hello to the guy, she goes “Never mind that, look at this!”   That’s kind of the movie in a nutshell.  

Goku and Yamcha don’t even get to talk to each other in this movie because there’s so much stuff going on all at once.   I’m tempted to say that they crammed too many things into the movie, but it’s probably more accurate to say that the movie should have been longer.   I’m pleased with all these moving parts, but it would have been nice to give it all a chance to breathe. 

The story begins with Emperor Pilaf and his crew putting the finishing touches on a big-screen Dragon Radar for the Crane Hermit, Mercenary Tao, and Tien Shinhan.    They’re pleased with the work, and Tao steps forward to give them their reward.

We don’t actually get to see what Tao does to them, because the whole scene fades to white and gets sucked into the Phantom Zone, but it’s strongly implied that he killed them, or at least didn’t pay them for their work.    So there’s even some elements from the King Piccolo Saga in this movie along with the rest.

As the opening theme song plays, we see a montage of Goku and Krillin training under the Turtle Hermit.   This is the first time I’ve watched all three of these movies in order, and I never fully appreciated how they fit together to make a nice little trilogy.  

No pain, no gain, boys.

Hooray, the opening credits!  It’s fun!

Roshi does the whole bit where he explains that he doesn’t have anything else to teach the boys, since their training regimen included all the fundamentals of the Turtle School.   As a reward for their progress, he plans to take them to a big martial arts Tournament, but it’s not the Tenkaichi Budokai in Papaya Island.   No, instead he’s taking them to the imperial tournament hosted by the Mifan Empire.

Meanwhile, things are not well in the Mifan Empire, as the Emperor has lost his bride, Ran Ran, and the military has been searching high and low for her.

They stop a truck and search it, and when the driver gets upset about it, the leader of the soldiers, Blue, paralyzes him with his psychic powers and kicks his ass.   I’m not sure if Blue is a General in this story, but he’s part of the Mifan Army, not the Red Ribbon.  

Likewise, the Mifan Empire is run by characters from the Crane Hermit School.    Chiaotzu is the Emperor, and apparently a child in this story.   Tien is... well, I’m not sure exactly.   I want to say he’s a high-ranking security guard or something, but it’s never spelled out.

The Crane Hermit is called “Minister”, and since he seems to be the most important one, I assume he’s the Prime Minister.   I’ll be calling him “Minister Shen” from here on, since I don’t think they ever gave him a name in this movie, and he’s definitely not a Hermit.  “Shen” is a dub-ism, I’m pretty sure, but I’ll run with it.

Shen reveals the Dragon Radar to the Emperor, which looks a whole lot fancier since Pilaf last worked on it.    Also, how did he install that monstrosity in the ceiling without the Emperor knowing about it?    Anyway, he explains that if they collect the seven Dragon Balls, Chiaotzu can ask Shenron to find Ran Ran, and that’ll solve everything.   All Shen needs is the Emperor’s permission to devote imperial resources to the task.

But then Blue walks in, and suggests that Shen may have other plans for the Dragon Balls.   His men have searched the whole city for Ran Ran, except Minister Shen’s room, which seems awful fishy to him.  

At this point, Tao enters the scene and says that any accusation against Shen must be an accusation against him as well.Then they fight, and Tao kills Blue with his tongue, just like he did in the Commander Red Saga.

Okay, so this is a good time to talk about the double-edged sword of this movie’s concept.   This whole scene in the throne room, from the Dragon Radar to Blue’s death, is like two and a half minutes, tops.   Tao killing Blue with his tongue is awesome, sure, but in this movie it doesn’t really hold up as well because:

We’ve seen it before.

We barely got to know Blue before this happened.   Is he a good guy in this story?   I’m not sure.

Why is Tao only using his tongue?  In the TV series he did it to prove a point.   Here, there’s no context.   He just does it because he did it in the TV series and it was cool there.

Why is Chiaotzu just letting these guys fight in the middle of his court?  A minute ago Shen seemed to think it was important to get the Emperor’s permission to carry out his plan, but now they’re just doing whatever they want right in front of him.

I don’t want to complain too much, because this is a really cool scene, but I feel like it would have been helped if it had been expanded a little, or  maybe if Blue hadn’t been involved.   I think it would have been sufficient to have Tao and Shen share a sinister chuckle when Chiaotzu approved their plan.   We didn’t need Blue to run in and blurt out “HEY I THINK THESE GUYS ARE EVIL OH CRAP I’M DEAD!”    It’s like they really wanted Blue in the movie, but only so he could die to Tao.  

Meanwhile, Bulma’s out hunting Dragon Balls with Oolong, Puar, and Yamcha.  She told them that it was to find Goku, and I’m not really sure why that would work, since he doesn’t have any of the Dragon Balls at this time.   Turns out, she just wants to make a wish.   Unfortunately, some Mifan aircraft shoot at her when she gets too close to the Dragon Ball, and she has to shoot back.

Bulma takes out like four of these Mifanese planes.   I seem to remember she shot at some Gurumesian soldiers in Curse of the Blood Rubies, but I’m not sure that she hit any of them.   At any rate, this is probably the most kills by Bulma in any Dragon Ball media. 

She converts her aircraft into a submarine and goes after the Dragon Ball, but the Mifan Empire has a submarine of their own, and Bulma finds herself outgunned, so she has to withdraw.

Meanwhile, Roshi’s group is on their way to the Mifan for the tournament.   Launch wants to hijack the plane.   Okay, but what would she do if she did hijack it?   “Take this plane to Mifan, if ya know what’s good for ya!”  “Um, ma’am, that’s where we were already going.”   “Yeah, but take us there while I got a gun on ya.   It helps me relax!”

In the Land of Korin, the Mifan Empire has forced a bunch of locals to dig up the countryside in search of the Dragon Ball they detected in the region.   Turns out that Bora and Upa have it with them, but they don’t dare turn it over becaue they’ve heard that the Mifan soldiers will kill all the workers once they find it.   So this is all kind of a callback to Android 8 hiding the Dragon Ball from General White to save Jingle Village.  

Instead, Bora decides to travel to Mifan in the hopes of straightening things out there.   That’s surprisingly proactive of Bora.    I wouldn’t say it’s out of character for him, but I’m used to seeing him as a defender of this particular land.   It’s weird that the Mifan army has invaded and the first thing he’s gonna do is leave and take the fight to their backyard.

As it turns out, the Mifan Empire has already gathered six of the Dragon Balls, so the one in Korin is the only one they need.   For some reason, Shen keeps them all in this statue-looking thing.

As he and Tao discuss their plans, they get word that the 7th Dragon Ball is moving towards Mifan as they speak.   That doesn’t make sense, though, because their men in Korin haven’t found it yet.   Uh-oh.

What they’re actually detecting, of course, is Bora trying to sneak into Mifan with the Dragon Ball, but he didn’t know about their radar, so by taking the Dragon Ball along, he’s basically announcing his presence.

As they consider this, they notice a robot drone spying on them from the window.   Maybe I’m just getting old, but its weird how robot drones are a real thing you can buy at the store.   The only thing science-fictiony about Bulma spying on them like this is that she built a Dragon Radar into the drone to find them, and she doesn’t have to worry about pesky FAA regulations.   So yeah, even Droney makes a cameo in this movie.  They really went nuts stacking this film with stuff from the anime.

So now Bulma wants to go to Mifan and steal the Dragon Balls from Shen and Tao to get back at them for attacking her earlier.  Yamcha’s up for it because there’s a cool tournament there.  Oolong’s out, until Bulma tells him there’s pretty girls in Mifan.    Okay, yeah, but aren’t there pretty girls in West City, where they currently are?   Hell, there’s a pretty girl in the same room as Oolong, and he’s just playing cards like she isn’t even there.   But Oolong’s all excited to see hotttt Mifan babes anyway.

Roshi’s group arrives in Mifan and has dinner in a restaurant, when Bora moonwalks into the same place.  Okay, so first of all, he looks awesome in that poncho and hat.   Second, why is he sneaking around?    As far as he knows, no one would suspect him of anything.   Well, it’s a cool screencap, however we got there.    I’m just enjoying it, like that guy in the green shirt on the right.  

He pays for his and Upa’s meal with a nugget of gold he has with him.   I’m not used to seeing Bora spending money either.    This is a very different side of the character.   I don’t know that they’re really taking liberties with the guy, it’s just that he’s doing things that he never got the chance to do in the original story.

Suddenly there’s a bunch of sirens.   Launch panics until she remembers that she hasn’t done any crimes here...............................yet.  

Turns out they’re here for Bora, although I’m not quite sure how they knew to look for him in particular.   Mifan’s Dragon Radar wouldn’t be precise enough to pinpoint his location, or they would have found Bora’s Dragon Ball back in Korin a long time ago.   Maybe they knew to look for someone dressed like a resident of Korin, but I don’t know if Bora really stands out in that regard.    Anyway, there’s a struggle, and one of the soldiers bumps into Goku, so he gets rowdy.

So Sergeant Metallic shows up to straighten things out.   They fight for a while, and then Tao shows up.

Things look pretty dicey here, since this looks exactly like the moment when Tao killed Bora in the TV show, but...

Roshi intervenes by explaining that they’re all special guests of the Mifan Emperor, a status bestowed upon anyone who enters the tournament.   I’m pretty sure Bora had no intention of entering the tourney, but he does now, since it gives him diplomatic immunity, at least for a little while longer.   Too bad Blue didn’t enter this year...

Here’s a cool shot of Launch.

They all compare notes, and Roshi explains that if you win the tournament, you get to ask a favor from the Emperor.   So the plan is for one of the guys in this room to win, and ask Chiaotzu to put a stop to whatever Shen is up to.   I’m not sure that would work, and if it would work, I’m not sure they need to go to that much trouble to get an audience, but okay.

That night, Emperor Chiatozu has a nightmare, and his best pal Tien comforts him.   Note that Tien was in the opening scene of the movie, so he’s definitely in cahoots with Shen and Tao.   I feel like that sort of got lost in the shuffle with everything else that’s been happening.

Tien even taught him how to do telepathy, so that just proves that he has a soft spot for the Emperor.

The next day, Bulma’s group runs into Roshi’s group.   She’s learned that all seven Dragon Balls are together in Mifan, and she plans to steal the six that are held in the palace.   This is awful brave of Bulma, considerng how she didn’t want any part of the Red Ribbon Army, but all right.

What does she even plan to wish for?   Anyway, she recruits Launch to help her in the caper.

Also Yamcha’s here.

When the tournament finally starts, Yamcha is the first contestant, and his first opponent is Anton the Great, one of the jobbers from the preliminary matches in the 22nd Budokai arc.  

Yamcha clearly busts out the Wolf Fang Fist to beat him...

Except he ends up kicking the guy instead.   I feel like someone doesn’t understand what the Wolf Fang Fist is supposed to be.    It might be be, I’ll admit it, but it sure seems like there’s no rule to the move.   Yamcha just shouts “Roga fu-fu-ken!” and there’s some wolf images and then he just does whatever he was doing before, only it’s supposed to work better.   In the video games, it’s always rapid-fire strikes.

We don’t get a lot of time to learn how this Mifan Tournament works, but it seems to be a gauntlet-style match.   As soon as Anton is eliminated, Bora jumps in the ring and Yamcha has to fight him next.

Yamcha seems to do okay...

Until Master Roshi distracts him, costing Yamcha the match.   This is so Bora can win and receive his favor from the emperor.  

Apparently, the other fighters are so impressed with Bora’s performance that they run away rather than face him.   This just leaves Goku and Krillin, which works out great, since they all want the same thing from Chiaotzu.   But then...

Tao decides to enter himself, and when Bora refuses to tell where he’s hidden the Dragon Ball, he kills him.

Ouch.   I’m not sure why they would build a statue so big and sharp, but there it is.   

Now, while all of this is going on, Bulma is making her move to get the other six Dragon Balls.   First, she has Puar shape-shift into Emperor CHiaotzu.   Ha ha, that’s adorable!  

Then she has Oolong tun into Minister Shen.   Pretty close, but needs improvement.

The idea is to just stroll right into the palace, since know one would dare stop the Emperor, but then a couple of nobles ask a few too many innocent questions, so Launch mugs them.

Was this one of the pretty girls Oolong came to see?   I think this is the only woman we’ve seen in town since they got here. 

Goku tries to avenge Bora, but he gets clobbered.   Even the Kamehameha is useless against Tao, who responds with a Dodon Ray.  Unlike the TV version of this fight, Goku gets carried away by the blast, which sends him out of the city.

And into... Korin Tower?   Hell of a coincidence.

Back at the arena, Shen decides that there’s no longer any need to conceal his motives, and explains to Chiaotzu that he’s taking over the Empire and using the Dragon Balls to conquer the rest of the world too.  

Unfortunately, they still can’t find the seventh ball, because Goku was carryng it when Tao shot him with the Dodon Ray.  

Also, Bulma’s trying to steal the other six...

At Korin Tower, Korin doesn’t have time to teach Goku all the stuff that helped him beat Tao in the TV show, so we get a condensed lesson instead.   He drops Goku’s Dragon Ball in a pot of water, and Goku can’t see it at first because the water is moving.    When it settles, he can see the bottom clearly.   Similarly, Goku failed against Tao because he was blinded by his own anger at Bora’s death.    The key to beating his enemy is to calm his heart, which will allow him to see his enemy clearly.    

Turns out that Tao is already on his way to find Goku, so he’d better calm his heart quickly if he wants to stand a chance.

So Goku hops on Kinto Un to face him.   This is the first time we’ve seen Kinto Un in this movie, so I feel kind of bad for anyone who started watching Dragon Ball with this movie.   It’s just not a good introduction at all.   Launch never sneezes, and there’s just way too much stuff happening all at once.   You’ll get to see a lot of characters, but you don’t get to fully experience all of them, or learn about why they do what they do.  

Back in Mifan, Shen thwarts Bulma’s Dragon Ball heist, and Launch actually manages to shoot some bad guys and actually kill them for once.   Unfortunately, her bullets still don’t work on Shen.

And they end up losing the Dragon Balls in a fissue at the bottom of the ocean.   Whoops.

Roshi and Krillin try to fight, but Tien knocks out Roshi with that knee strike he used on Jackie Chun at the 22nd Budokai.  

So that about wraps things up.    The Dragon Balls may be lost, but Shen can stil take over Mifan, so he orders Tien to kill Emperor Chiaotzu so he can cement his power.

Meanwhile, in Penguin Village, Arale intercepts Tao and messes with him until Goku shows up.

Tao shoots a Dodon Ray at Arale,but it doesn’t hurt her at all, much to Goku’s amazement.

Also the Ga-chan’s zap him, but I don’t know enough about Dr. Slump to know what that would do to him.

This whole part of the movie is nuuuuuuuuuuts.   I don’t mind seeing Arale pop in, but pitting Tao against her and the Ga-chans and Goku is a bit much.   I think it’s safe to call Tao the main villain of the movie, but he can’t even get any traction in this final battle.   At one point, the Ga-chans tie his hair to a tree as a prank.   They just make him look like a total chump, which is humorous, but I’m not sure it was the best thing to do with this movie.

So Tao tries the ol’ fake apology trick, except he can’t quite do what he did in the TV show because he needs to get the Dragon Ball and escape to Mifan.   So instead of a grenade, he whips out a little hovercraft, grabs the Dragon Ball, and shoots missiles when he’s far enough away.   But the result is the same.

Back at Mifan, Tien tries to explain to Chiaotzu that he’s betraying him, but Chiaotzu just can’t accept that.

He starts crying, and Tien just can’t resist those beady eyes.

Shen is livid, so he tries to kill the Emperor himself.    Also around here, Master Roshi wakes up from Tien’s kick and gives him that line about how his abilities are crying out for Tien to do the right thing.   Okay, but that line worked better in the original story because we had seen Tien’s abilities.    In this movie, all he’s done so far is kick Roshi in the back of the head, and Roshi got up from it almost immediately. 

Likewise, it’s not really clear what Tien’s obligation to Shen is supposed to be.   In the original version, Shen taught him how to fight.   Here, I don’t even known what Tien’s position is.     

Really, all we need is what we’ve gotten from the movie itself.    Tien was shown to be in league with Shen and Tao’s plot, but he’s also very close to Emperor Chiaotzu, and when push comes to shove his friendship with Chiaotzu is more important than his political ambitions.    We don’t need callbacks to his dilemma from the 22nd Budokai, because this is a completely different dilemma.  

So Shen tries to use a Dodon Ray on Chiaotzu, but Tien whips out the Ki Ko Ho first and blows Shen away.

In the movie, the Ki Ko Ho is blue for some reason.  

So that fixes everything except for Sergeant Metallic, who had been trying to hold Upa hostage, except everyone kept ignoring him.   Now that he has no other cards to play, he tries to kill Upa, but then Goku returns and dives right through his body, which shuts him down once and for all. 

The guards who were helping Shen immediately bow before Chiaotzu, and he forgives them.   That’s nice and all, but I can’t help but wonder if this lax attitude is how the first coup got rolling.

Then Tien hands Chiaotzu a doll, which is apparently Ran Ran.   Tien admits that he had been hiding it this whole time, in order to get Chiaotzu to agree to the Dragon Ball search.   So Chiaotzu’s “bride” was a doll the whole time?   How old is Chiaotzu supposed to be in this movie?  Five?  Anyway, he forgives Tien too, so that takes care of that.

Oh, hey, Bulma and Yamcha survived falling into the ocean.   Good for them.

The only loose end now is Bora’s death.   Goku plans to revive him with the Dragon Balls, except six of them are now out of reach. 

So Goku tosses the seventh ball in with the rest of them, and summons Shenron that way.   Okay, but we’re kind of running short on time, aren’t we?

And, yeah, this movie was so jam packed with content that they had to wish Bora back to life during the end credits.   I can’t really complain, since making wishes on the Dragon Balls has gotten pretty routine by now, so all we really need is a shot of Shenron and a shot of Bora waking up.   Still, it just goes to show that they really loaded this movie up for bear, and sometimes that works against it.  

I’d say this is definitely the best of the original Dragon Ball movies.   They’re all well animated, but Mystical Adventure is an even bigger visual feast, what with all the ancient Chinese architecture and the costumes and so on.   It’s got more action, with a number of fights besides the main battle, and it’s the first movie where Goku actually gets to throw down with the lead villain instead of just having a brief skirmish.   It gets a little convoluted in places, but it’s never dull, and that’s always a positive.

[ajwolf84]

Technically Arranged FAQ

Cool, a new fic! What’s it about? Yuuri is a tech genius working in Silicon Valley, but he never would have gotten this far if not for the support of the Russian Royal family who offered him a full scholarship to the elite Rostelecom Academy and have been supporting his education ever since. Of course, this help didn’t come for free. He’s now considered a member of the Royal family, which isn’t so bad, other than the inordinate number of weddings he has to attend. There’s also the small stipulation that he is technically a candidate to become the Prince’s consort, but that’ll never happen…

What will the rating be? It’ll be rated E for sexual content. I started out intending for this to be rated T, but Yuuri-fucking-Katsuki had to go and ruin it. 😉

What’s the genre/theme? This is a modern-day Royalty AU, with an Arranged Marriage twist. I want to be clear, this is an Arranged marriage, not a forced marriage. Consent and communication are major themes of this fic. It’s less about a Royal Wedding, and more about a marriage.

Wait, so Modern? But Russia isn’t a monarchy?? I’m taking some liberties with the particulars. In this fic, Russia is one of the world’s leaders and is actually a pretty progressive nation (Viktor is openly gay). Geography is also a little different. Rostelecom Academy is located in Sochi which lies at the very southern tip of the nation, with a large bay separating it from Japan.

There’s two ways to directly travel between the countries (other than planes): a ferry that runs across the bay to Fukuoka, or a recently constructed series of bridges that connects to Hasetsu via a couple of islands. It takes just under an hour to commute to Sochi from Hasetsu, especially if one uses the public busses, which have a dedicated lane along the bridge. Yuuri lives at home and commutes to school daily via the bus system.

This geography means that Russia’s territory is a bit different (sorry Mongolia).

How long will it be? I started writing this over my holiday break and I fully intended for it to be a one-shot. It’s now a three arc, multi chapter piece. The first arc is clocking in at 30k words, so total story will likely be around 90-100k (fml).

What’s the posting schedule? Normally I start off a fic with the first few chapters written, and I fall into a one per week rhythm. It’s a good system and it works for me, but there are drawbacks. I tend to write in bursts; 20k one week, and then maybe only 5k the next. Some weeks I just can’t write cause of life or mental/physical health issues. I get really fixated on my posting schedule, sometimes to an unhealthy degree.

I’m doing this one a bit differently. Each arc will be a relatively self-contained story of its own, which will connect to the other two arcs. I’ll be writing arcs fully before releasing any of the chapters for that arc. Once the arc is complete, my beta and I will do an overall story pass on the entire arc, and then I will break it down into chapters for the deep edits.

This means that the posting schedule for this fic will likely be a bit different. Each arc will get published in a more rapid burst, with several chapters coming relatively quickly, and then a bit of a break while I prep the next arc. Because each arc is almost a standalone story, that’ll mean no prolonged waits between cliffhangers and major plot points. Each arc will connect to the others, but the major goal for each arc will be addressed within that arc’s burst.

I don’t know if this is a strategy I’ll employ long term with my writing, but I think it’ll help me achieve a more balanced flow for this particular story. It also gives me freedom to work on other pieces during the arc breaks without feeling awful for leaving everyone on a ledge for a few weeks.

So…what’s the posting schedule? Each arc will probably take 2-3 weeks to publish fully, depending on how long the editing of each individual chapter takes. There will likely then be a 2-3 week break before the next arc comes out. Maybe less (maybe more), but I don’t want to stress myself out by promising a schedule.

When will the first chapter come out? Maybe this weekend, but probably next week sometime. The first arc is 67 pages long and my poor beta and I need to edit the entire thing as a whole before I can break it up into chapters and work towards releasing. I’ll let everyone know when I have a firmer date.

Is there angst? Not by my definition. There will be some emotional situations, especially in the first arc, but it’ll be mostly fluff, smut, and my personal favorite, some gosh darn healthy communication.

Smut you say? Yes, my darlings. Filthy, glorious smut. Only one scene in the first arc, but more to come (heh) the further along we go.

And fluff? Oh so much glorious fluff, sass, humor, and poodles.

Any trigger warnings I should be aware of? There will be an implied scene of violence in the first arc, but nothing graphic, and nothing of the trigger nature after that one incident. Tags for Anxiety and grief. No rape, no non-con, no graphic violence. Just Yuuri Katsuki’s ass and Phichit’s sass.

What’s the topping situation? Switching will be par for the course as is my usual jam. I tend to write Viktor a bit subby, but there won’t be a particular top or bottom.

Is this in the same multi-verse as your other fics? Yup, as I said at the end of The Unusual Truth, I see all my fics being connected, parallel universes. There are two of my OCs from Magic & Ice in this fic (so far). So, to answer your next question, yes, Alpha Yuuri and Viktor are both tagging along, though their presence is unfelt.

Long or short haired Viktor? An important question. 😉 Short haired this time.

What about your other fics? The problem with the weekly schedule is it leaves me very little time for anything outside of my current release. It means I’m either cramming anything extra in, or missing releases. I’m hoping with this more flexible schedule I’ll have the ability to work on some of my other fics. I desperately want to get another chapter of Queens out soon, and I started several other (hopefully) one-shots over the holidays that I’d like to give attention too. I also have a second part of my Vampire/Tengu AU in progress, and a brand-new Fashion Model AU that I thought was going to be my next active work, but isn’t quite ready to see the light of day (it’s the most ambitious piece I’ve plotted out to date).

I have more questions! Hit me up with an Ask and I’ll answer it! I can’t wait to share this piece with you all. See you soon. 😊

[criscura]

Zoomen

((I’ve been meaning to talk about this since FOREVER @___@))

In the bonus manga “Rangers,” King (forcibly) introduces Saitama to Zoomen, a children’s show about a superhero group that relies on each other to defeat all their enemies. It’s played out like a comedy, but...the way King, Genos, and Saitama react to that idea--of relying on others when you need them--is really sad, because they’re responding based on their own not-so-wonderful life experiences. What makes it worse is that rather than offering a hopeful possibility of change, the end of the chapter only reinforces the most negative views of that kind of teamwork.

Like always, full analysis is under the cut <3

When King first talks about Zoomen, he says it’s an introduction to heroes and emphasizes that they get a lot of support from all angles--from each other, from having faith in one another, from an organization that helps them in their missions. He speaks about it fondly, with metaphorical rose-tinted glasses (or bubble-tinted, in this case), because that’s how he sees teamwork. 

His career--his whole life--relies on the hope that people believe in him and have faith in his projected hero image, and that he’s going to get help when he needs it (which is a lot). King ended up a hero because other heroes came in when he needed them. It wasn’t intentional, but a kind of skewed, sympathetic teamwork is what got King where he is today. He wants to believe that the definition of heroism promoted by Zoomen is true, because so long as it is he can still call himself some kind of a hero and be confident that others will come in and save him when he needs it. 

That’s not a selfish thing, I don’t think. King is frequently putting himself in situations where he could die in a moment’s notice because he doesn’t want to disappoint the people who believe in him. He’s a hugely inspirational symbol to most of his world, and I’m pretty sure he’s aware of that. The one saving grace he has in going out and risking his life on a much more intense scale than his fellow heroes is that someone may come in and save him, should he need it, because they know how important it is to come in and save others. I think that’s why he doesn’t introduce it as a “children’s” show--it might be simplistic, yes, but King wants to believe that the ideals in the show are a foundation for what all heroes aim to be as they mature and go beyond “kid stuff.”

When Genos gives his opinion on that defintion, he completely shuts it down. He’s even confused by the thought of relying on someone else when you need him--to him it’s a death warrant that’s just asking that you get killed, and he says that they’ll be knocked off in a few episodes. 

What’s upsetting about that is that this is his very real, personal experience. He had a monster come and attack him and his family. He had an entire town that could’ve tried to take it down, and instead it killed everyone in it, save Genos himself (though he would try to fight the idea that he fully survived it, but that’s for a different post). He was not strong enough to save himself or anyone around him, and if his lifetime was a show, he almost died in the first few episodes. He’s come close to dying on several occasions, all of which he exhibited great power that was just short of what he needed. His reality is that only the strong survive--it doesn’t matter how many people you have supporting you because when it comes down to it, your weakness is a “defect” that’s going to take you down. 

The use of the word “defect” is interesting as well, because Genos isn’t looking at heroes as people with the potential of rising above their faults due to spirit or drive. He’s considering them a summation of parts, like he does himself, and if one of those parts is broken there is no way for the whole to run smoothly. Which...again, is very sad, because that is his reality.

Then there’s Saitama. He’s open to hearing King out--he’s so-so on the idea, but he gets really excited about it and even tries it out. His expectations are utterly crushed when he does, though, and he comes back jaded, falling on old beliefs that you have to make sure you’re always ready to defend yourself in case everyone else fails you.

This is a little different from what Genos is saying, even though the endgame is the same. Genos thinks that weakness is equivalent to death. Saitama thinks that it’s dependence that will get you killed. This idea comes up a lot, over and over and over again, when Saitama is telling others how they should be a hero--that they need to be strong enough to rely on themselves, that they need to be standing when everyone else is down, that they shouldn’t worry about others because they themselves need to be strong. 

I need to go down a small tangent to talk about his fixation on this idea. Despite Saitama being the main character of the show, we know surprisingly little about his past. He had a house when he was little. He went to school. He tried to get a job. He lived on his own, moving from shitty apartment to shitty apartment, getting along the best he could even as he was doing hero work. We know nothing about his family, his friends, about what his childhood was like. His adult life has very much been, “Fend for yourself because no one else is going to do that for you,” but the willingness he has to accept that as fact makes it seem like it was ground into him for a very long time before that. I say all that because this recurring theme of “Be strong to defend everyone else because no one is going to come to save anyone” is...dark. It’s upsetting. Something seemed to happen to him when he was younger that changed how he thought about closeness and compassion. It’s as if he thinks you can give those things to other people, but they are never, ever, ever guaranteed to be given back to you. 

Regardless of his past, though, Saitama has a very real trepidation about relying on anyone else. I wouldn’t call it a fear, per say, but it’s a massive concern of his--he worries that heroes who rely on other heroes “forget how to fight alone.” He talks like he is one-hundred percent convinced that that’s the way it’ll end--with you all alone, up against something much bigger and stronger than you, having everyone else around you incapacitated. All things considered that makes sense--it’s his reality. Saitama is there when all else fails, he’s the last resort, he’s the one everyone else can rely on. He seems to worry, though, that others will be in the same situation, and they will not be able to protect themselves because they’ve become so reliant on help from other people. Saitama worries about weakness just like Genos does, but in a different way--for Genos, it’s an innate condemning factor that will kill you and must be removed wholly. For Saitama, it’s an organic quality you can work around or fight against, but that can also grow and that you can settle into. Genos sees it more as nature, Saitama more as nurture (”the power of human beings is to change themselves”). 

The ending is even more upsetting. We have Saitama playing games with King, who (saving Genos because that is a very complicated relationship) is the first plain ol’ friend that we’ve seen him make in the series. He’s hanging out, taking recommendations for things, sharing interests and conversations. He’s opening himself up to another person, and who’s doing the same. In the game they’re playing Saitama is on King’s team and relying on him to heal him. When Saitama gets poisoned, though, King lets him die because he’s bothered by Saitama saying he doesn’t believe in teams.

This is supposed to be a lesson from King, that’s clear. He’s showing Saitama that sometimes yes, you need help, you need to depend on others. It’s looking like his role is their relationship is going to be slapping Saitama upside the head with good advice until he starts to take it. Right now though Saitama doesn’t get it. To him, he relied on someone else and they didn’t come through even as he was literally shouting for help. It just proved that his “doubts about superhero groups” are valid. Instead he’s left lying and bleeding on the floor while King, the superior in-game hero, fights on for him and does all the work. There’s a chance that later on as they’re playing King saves him when he needs it, but we don’t see it. The last shot is Saitama’s character bleeding on the ground.

I remember reading this, thinking it was really cute, getting to the end, and realizing what was going on. When I went back and reread it, I was so...sad. King wants to be hopeful, he wants to believe that things can end well and be good, but he has the people around him (and that I’m sure he looks up to, if only a little) telling him, “No, that’s childish and stupid and gonna get someone killed.” Then he enacts the very thing he’s afraid of, which may have eventually helped his friend change his mind but that we as the audience don’t see--it merely proves the dark, disillusioned beliefs of Saitama and Genos that King is trying to look past by playing off the real world interaction Saitama just went through during his mission.

I’d like to say that I don’t think this is the message of the series--OPM has this running line of hope through it that I think will pull through--but it’s also so friggin’ hard to see where the series is going that when there are little snippets like this...it’s a little worrying @_@ I also don’t think this is meant to be taken as anything more than a bonus manga, but there’s a lot of content right here that helps build their world, and in it--just like in all the bonus chapters--the world that’s being built isn’t a very happy one T^T

[themanformallyknownaswelshy]

Jigsaw Thoughts

HEAVY SPOILERS

Hello there.

So yeah, a new Saw film has just recently been released and I’ve been to see it … twice. I’ll admit to being very touched and slightly scared (in the best way possible) at the amount of requests I’ve been getting from people asking for my thoughts on the film. It’d been … what, 4 years since my last proper video on Saw and that people are still interested in my opinion about the series … that’s pretty awesome. Sadly, this can’t be released in video format at the moment (which isn’t saying it never will be) because I currently have a camera without a battery, a computer that no longer connects to the internet, a laptop that randomly shuts down and no audio equipment. Oh and we’re also saving for a wedding and a house. Priorities people!!!

So anyway, before I address my thoughts on Jigsaw, I want to say something about Saw as it means to me. Keep in mind, this is going to be long as I have many thoughts and if this were a video, it’d probably clock in around the 30 minute mark. Now, it should be noted that I’m not blind to what Saw is and as I’ve previously said, I don’t view it as a masterpiece of cinema and for the people who don’t like it, I’d never be able to change their minds about it. My issue steams from reviews I’ve seen that label Saw (specifically the original) as torture porn and I simply do not agree with this statement. In fact, I informed one person of this once and this person accused me of being sexist and of attacking them for simply disagreeing with their claim, a disagreement I backed up but then I’m the same guy who managed to violate the … what was it, the second amendment with Dark Side of The Internet, so make of that what you will. For me, the Saw Series exists in a heightened reality with everything played at just that over the top level, from the scenarios all the way down to the acting. It’s a very fine line to walk and one Saw, from original to 3D managed to walk almost perfectly. The first 2 films in the series also didn’t have the budget to show the all out gore explosions that the later films became known for so to class the first 2 as torture porn is, to me, simply wrong. A comparison would be a film like Hostel or the Zombie Halloween films, especially the sequel. These films don’t walk the line, they have a very real, raw edge to them, the effects of the torture (blow torches to the face, heels being sliced, women beaten to bloody pulps) are shot very raw and very real and this moves both films beyond snuff (ala Texas Chainsaw) and is why I would class films like Hostel and Halloween Zombie as torture porn and a film like Saw as more a twisted morality tail and it’s sequel, part horror, part psychological thriller because the 2nd film IS essentially a game of chess between 2 players, Jigsaw and Detective Matthews. While the argument could be raised about the later sequels falling more into the realms of torture porn, all films still contained that heightened sense but more so than any of that, I believe it wasn’t the traps that kept bringing fans back into the theatres year after year but it was more so the story because, as convoluted as it was, and BELIEVE me, it was, there was a story that built and teased and, ultimately, provided the answers to many fan theories and questions.

Why have I mentioned this? Read on.

So, my thoughts on Jigsaw?

I liked it. It certainly was better than it had any right to be. The story moved along at a great pace, the traps as they were designed and shot were pure Saw and very Jigsaw in nature. By this I mean, the traps were all survivable, but the subjects were expected to sacrifice something of themselves in order to get out alive. It also played into something Jigsaw says to Hoffman in Saw V about anticipating the human mind, something Jigsaw was always very good at. As Jill Tuck said herself, with John everything was planned, nothing was left to chance. I obviously enjoyed Tobin Bell back in his iconic role like he’d never missed a beat, I loved seeing Billy with glowing red eyes (and I did BILLY when I saw him), the Jigsaw house of horrors barn and separate work shop was a delight and the score felt like a natural evolution with sweet call backs to previous themes. It also benefited from a bigger budget, the opening car chase being a prime example and the money shot that was the culmination of the final trap was a site to behold and I’ll now never be able to here the phrase “It looks like a tropical plant” the same way again.

I won’t lie, when I first saw the trailers for Jigsaw I was slightly concerned about how glossy and clean everything looked. The Barn appeared to take place almost entirely in day light and a lot of the film seemed to be taking place out doors. If there was one thing Saw excelled at was the rustic, run down, abandoned factory, enclosed and claustrophobic feeling and with Jigsaw, I never really got that feeling. I never felt like I was suffocating along with the characters in the environments they were finding themselves in and this seems to stem more from the way it was shot rather than the script. It’s also seemed to be setting up future sequels because a number of events occur in said film that raise greater questions. The film managed to keep the Saw style of walking the fine line of maintaining its heightened reality and felt like it easily slotted into the world as it had been previously established in previous films. It’ll certainly please fans to the series but won’t win or convert people who have never seen the Saw films before. It’s also a film that, while trying to restart the series, suffers if you’ve never watched the series before.

One of the big problems Saw encountered in it’s later life is it was essentially becoming a movie serial. You’d have needed to have watched the previous episode in order to understand what was going on. For someone like me, someone who had watched and re watched the films so many times I could quote them in my sleep,  this wasn’t a problem and watching the newest entry always felt like a reward but for someone jumping in as a first time watcher, they wouldn’t have had a clue about what was going on. Leigh Whannell references this during his Saw 3 commentary in that he would get people coming up to him and saying they didn’t understand Saw 3 because they’d not seen Saws 1 and 2. Leighs reaction to this was simple, “Who goes to see a film with a 3 in the title without seeing the first 2 films first” and I agree with that. Jigsaw ultimately duffers from this because, while it is an attempt to perform a form of series restart, the people who will get the most out of this film ARE Saw fans. The biggest hook to the series is and always will be Tobin Bell and without him, you simply don’t have a series so while I can appreciate what they were trying to do with the film and there were many directions they could have gone, their solution I found to be very predictable, very uninspired and more specifically, and this is why I have a bigger problem with the film than maybe I should, very damaging to the Saw mythology.

So here we go … my problem with Jigsaw. From here on out there will be heavy spoilers from not only Jigsaw, but nearly every single Saw film, give or take. You have been warned, tread carefully, follow your heart, follow the white rabbit (oh wait, that was the Matrix) … whatever ... spoilers ahead.

Right off the bat, when I heard there was going to be a new Saw many ideas went through my head about what they were going to do. Was it going to be a total reboot, a soft reboot, were they going to retcon some of the story? Were they going to introduce a long lost family member? I’ll be honest, at one point in the film, Jigsaw refers to his late nephew and in my head I immediately pictured either Jigsaw having an identical twin brother or a sister that we’d never heard of and then we’d have had a female Jigsaw taking over the reigns of the franchise. None of these appealed to me and NO, it’s NOT because I don’t think a woman can be scary, bla bla bla bla. My concern was I didn’t want would I deemed to be a cop out, long lost relative ending. Sarah, my fiancée, had other ideas though, as you can see below…

John Kramer has an identical twin brother who has been jealous of his brother’s successes all those years ago. He felt John’s moral crusade pointless and would rather just kill people he wanted to torture. This brother first made an appearance in Saw 1 where he was skulking around Jigsaw’s hideout but was caught by Tapp - it was not John Kramer to slashed Tapp’s throat but his evil twin brother. He now has long flowing hair and a curly moustache.

As he proceeds to murder his next victim through torture he plays Cascada’s “”What Hurts the Most” and reveals that he is going to take control of Jigsaw’s legacy and unleash his new name on the world: The Sudoku Killer.

However during this revelation the doors fly open and John Kramer appears, cloak billowing. He announces that he is still alive and not happy about the whole Sudoku game his brother has planned. To his brother’s horror, John reveals that when they were born , there was another brother, so they were actually identical triplets. The third brother was adopted due to financial limitations but John had found him years ago. He had worked with his secret brother to set his vision in motion, but then his brother had cancer and another game was created in which Jigsaw could create a legacy even after death. His brother took John Kramer’s identity and died of cancer, whilst John Kramer lived in the shadows like Batman. It seemed his work had left a lasting impression as his death created more followers to his cause. However his evil brother’s foray into his own murderous games caused Jigsaw to come out of retirement and put an end to his dastardly plans.

Grumpily, Jigsaw reveals that he now has to start his work up again to eradicate all the wrongdoing his brother has done. He admits ta he doesn’t really understand Sudoku puzzles. He leaves his brother in the room to die, while lay his brother twirls his moustache worriedly.

Thank you Sar she is very proud of her theory and it’s one of the many reasons I love her.

So anyway, we didn’t get the secret family member ending, although there is nothing to say this still won’t happen seeing as Logan clearly had help through the film but what we did get was the reveal of another secret apprentice is this is what I have a problem with. Firstly, it just feels lazy because it’s something we’ve seen twice before but also, there has been literally no build to this reveal. With Amanda, she was set up in Saw as a survivor so the revelation of her being an apprentice made some form of sense. With Hoffman, he was introduced in Saw 3, pocketing a piece of evidence and then in Saw 4, placed himself into the game so again, the revelation had a form of surprise but felt natural and given that Jigsaw had access to so many criminal files, it seemed like a natural fit that he would have a cop helping him. Here, they have to effectively screw with the entire lore of the Saw Universe by implying Logan was helping John from the beginning and this is where I have my biggest problem because, as I’ve said, it was the story that kept me coming back to Saw and it was the handling of the series from Saw 1 onwards that made me truly fall in love with said story. When they wrote the first Saw, James Wan and Leigh Whannell had no concept of a larger story of multiple sequels. They were just 2 guys trying to crack into the movie business. With the success of Saw, Saw 2 was immediately green lit and to get a jump on the production, they adapted a script from Darren Lynn Bousman with Leigh (and Tobin) adding in the Saw story. Saw 3 was green lit even before Saw 2 was released and with the release of Saw 3, the studio announced a Saw 4,5 and 6. This allowed the storytellers to plan their story long term and to sprinkle in teases that would build through the (as I originally called it) Hoffman trilogy with everything due to culminate in Saw 6. The backstory of John Kramer and his death and rebirth into Jigsaw is told through Saw 2 thorugh 6 and makes sense in the context of these films.

People have often asked why I love Saw 6 so much and it is for this very reason. Saw 6 pays off many of the long term threads that had been teased since Saw 3. This long term planning of these films allowed the film makers to take their time with the integration of Hoffman into the world. He was shown briefly in Saw 3, he is revealed in Saw 4 as the apprentice, Saw 5 then allows us to see the meeting of Jigsaw and Hoffman and Saw 6 is the ultimate fan reward as we see Jigsaw, Amanda and Hoffman all share the screen together. While this is undoubtedly fan service, it makes sense in the context of the story because now we, as an audience, have accepted Hoffman working with Jigsaw, it would be more than logical, given his physical size, strength and position within the police force, that he would have worked with and assisted both Jigsaw and Amanda. If the scene between Jigsaw, Amanda and Hoffman had been shown in Saw 4 it wouldn’t have had half the impact nor would it have meant as much because it would have felt like a complete shoe in with the creators dancing around with a board saying “Look Hoffman was involved”. By taking the time to establish Hoffman and his relationship with Jigsaw, we see the contrast between himself and Amanda. The Jigsaw/Amanda relationship was very much like a father and daughter, The Jigsaw/Hoffman relationship is very much built on business with Hoffman clearly suppressing his true inner psychopath until after Jigsaw has passed. With Jigsaw they basically fast track Logan into the series as a secret apprentice and immediately show him working alongside Jigsaw which ultimately hurts the story as it has been established since the original Saw. Now they do try to cover themselves by claiming Logan was a prisoner of war for 10 years but Logan also says Jigsaw gave him purpose after the war, so I’m at a loss here as to whether Logan (in this new series) was absent during the original series of events (as a POW) or if he was present because if he was, where the hell was he because the original series has covered the time line from John Kramer, budding father, to cancer patient, attempted suicide, rebirth as Jigsaw, his start as Jigsaw, every single game played during that series from Cecil trap right up to Saw 3D trap, from his death right up to Hoffmans imprisonment in the bathroom and it handled this about as perfectly as could be expected given how insane the timeline can seem.

Now Saw 6 WAS supposed to the culmination of all of these hanging story threads. It was supposed to end with Hoffmans death and close off the franchise but between Saw 5 and 6, the studio decided they wanted 2 more Saw films. This resulted in Hoffman (thankfully because he was now awesome) being spared but when Saw 6 was released it found itself at number 2 at the box office because of the first Paranormal Activity. In a panic, the studio cancelled Saw 8 and Saw 3D became a combination of an attempted Saw 7 and 8 story and was marketed as the Final Chapter which is one of the reasons it is such a convoluted mess. As I said, Saw 6 was due to close off many questions, which it did, with the major remaining question (the fate of Dr Gordon) still being up in the air due to the ongoing lawsuit between Elwes and the studio. During 5 (to my knowledge) the lawsuit between Cary Elwes  and the studio was settled and this allowed the series to bring Cary back to answer the series final question and it really WAS the series final question because Saw 6 had managed to wrap up pretty much everything. Fans went into 7 wondering what had happened to Dr. Gordon and hoping (because let’s face it, we were ALL on Hoffmans side here) Hoffman would get his revenge against Jill. As I’ve said, I’m not a fan of Saw 3D, although I loved the ending reveal that Gordon had been assisting Jigsaw for years, but it ultimately left fans with the biggest bitter pill to swallow in that we were robbed of what we had wanted for years, a movie dedicated to the battle of Hoffman vs Gordon. Face it, Hoffman had been built up as an uber bad ass since Saw V. This was a guy who had broken his own hand and ripped off half his face to escape the bear trap, he was also a man who set up a game involving being taken into a police station in a body bag just to get his hands on Jill Tuck. There was no way in hell he was going to stay in that bathroom. Eric Matthews broke his ankle to escape the shackle, Hoffman would damn near snap his foot off to get out of there.

Jigsaw, as it currently stands, almost seems to remove the entire Hoffman story from the Saw Lore. While Jill Tuck is mentioned, she was shown in Saw 3 so it might not seem as big a departure and when Jigsaw does appear, he is shown to still be wearing his wedding ring. My reason for thinking this is during the half way point of the film when Eleanor takes Logan to her warehouse which houses a number of Jigsaw traps. There’s the chest trap from Saw 3, the glass box trap and gun from Saw 2 and the reverse bear trap from the original Saw. As far as I can see (I may be wrong) there are no traps from the Hoffman series shown in this room. Now this might be the movies attempt to retcon any of the events of Saw 4 through 3D but this still hurts the story established in Saw 1 through 3 and, once again, leaves you questioning, again, what happened to Dr. Gordon. Now granted, what I deem to be the glass box trap from Saw 2 might actually be the water box trap from Saw V and if it is, I’ll be thrilled because it means the Hoffman series is still deemed canon, but it also raises the question as to whether Logan had any form of relationship or interaction with Amanda or Hoffman because, again, lets face it, Hoffman would have ground Logan into dust had they ever crossed paths. The nature of Logans message and whole MO seems to move away from what Jigsaw wanted as it was originally about cherishing your life with Jigsaw targeting people he had deemed to be unworthy of the gift of life. These were people he had either encountered through the clinic his wife worked at or through working with Hoffman and discovering criminals who were abusing the chances they had been gifted. Now, he seems to be speaking for the dead, which isn’t a far cry from what he says to William in Saw 6 “You think it's the living who have ultimate judgement over you, because the dead will have no claim over your soul.” but Logan now seems to have gone full Dexter and seems to be targeting out and out criminals with no real chance of survival. There is also the message of not coming from vengeance and yet, Logan seems to act out his game with vengeance in mind. People could argue about Jigsaw targeting Cecil out of vengeance in Saw 4 but the difference here is once Cecil was in his trap, Jigsaw does not touch him and Cecil has the opportunity to leave after freeing himself. In Jigsaw, after getting his confession, Logan kills Halloran, which is completely against what Jigsaw would want. The elaborate trap in the barn (complete with an electronic Billy with glowing eyes … a first for the series) also clashes with the trap lore because we’re made to believe that the trap in Jigsaw is from 10 years previous and indeed, we see Logan and Jigsaw making the reverse bear trap. The problem here? Saw 4 shows Jigsaw in his workshop, alone, working on his traps and his ideas. He has no one helping him and his first traps were very basic in design and execution. The trap he placed Cecil in was a knife trap, the bathroom trap was 2 people chained to a wall, the razor wire trap, barb wire maze. When exactly does this fit into the time line for Jigsaw to create such an elaborate trap at the start of his career, which Jigsaw leads us to believe was even BEFORE he placed Amanda into the reverse bear trap.

So yes, this is my main problem with Jigsaw. Even if it retcons the Hoffman series from the time line, it still leaves far more questions than it does answers that ultimately hurts the lore as it has been built. Was Logan aware of Amanda, was Amanda aware of Logan?

WHAT HAPPENED TO DR. GORDON...AGAIN!!!!

Now granted, all of these questions may be answered in future sequels as there does seem to be more story to tell so I guess we’ll see. Anyway, this was long and I’ve gone on for long enough and if you’ve reached the end of this then you deserve a cookie so go and grab one.

Night all.

[lil-nct-scenarios-11]

NCT- A Strange Makeup || Gang AU- part 5

Group: NCT- all members

Theme: Gang AU

Type: series- fluff + angst

*Warning- this series will cover some dark themes such as abuse, drugs, and crude language so please read at your own discretion, if these themes make you uncomfortable at all, please do not read this 

Plot: Yuta takes you to visit your dad and after an emotional discussion with him, you find Jeno and Renjun waiting for you outside. We follow Kun as he meets someone new and they overhear a shocking discussion that could change everything.

Previous parts: 1, 2, 3, 4

“ ’Morning Y/N, are you ready to go?” Yuta asks gently as he blows into his mug to cool down his coffee.

You nod simply and take a deep exhale to stabilize your nerves. What are you gunna say to your dad? How are you supposed to talk to him now? ‘Hey dad why did you get arrested? When are you coming home? Oh and did you know Renjun’s parents are suffering the same fate as you in this just wonderful place?’ “Snap out of it!” you scold yourself, shaking your head.

A soft tap on your shoulder pulls you into a reassuring hug, “You are gunna be alright Y/N. Just know whatever happens, we will all be here waiting for you to come home alright?” You hold onto Taeyong tightly, really needing the reassurance. He pulls away slowly and gives you a warm smile that you’ll always keep in mind and pats you on your shoulder.

_______

“Dad,” your voice cracks as you see him in his orange jumpsuit sitting behind the glass glumly. “Dad.. what happened?”

“I’m not sure if I can tell you baby. I'm so ashamed of what I’ve done. I’m sorry I put you through this for a mistake that I made carelessly. I really wasn’t thinking and I can't ask you to forgive me because I’m not sure if I’m worthy of it,” your dad avoids eye contact as he absentmindedly plays with the phone cord.

“Dad it’s ok I guess, we all make mistakes. Do you know when you’re gunna be discharged?”

“Hmm, looks like I’m gunna be here a while bub. Are you still staying at home or are you with Renjun?”

“Uh, I’m staying with some friends from school and I’ll be fine with them. Dad, um... there’s something I need to tell you. Renjun’s parents are um-”

_____

“Renjun? What are you doing here? Look-” Jeno says irritably, getting up from the bench that was outside the county jail.

“Stop, I’m not in the mood to argue. I’m just here for my friend, you got a problem with that,” Renjun questions with a hint of anger.

“Nope, not at all. I'm glad we’re both here for Y/N. I guess you can sit next to me,” Jeno huffs as he sits back down and gestures to the empty seat beside him.

Renjun sits down a bit reluctantly beside him and sighs, “So how is he/she? Did he/she get along well?”

Jeno nods, “Yea, he/she is ok, he/she’s going through a lot right now so we’re tryna make things easy for her. It’ll take some time then he/she’ll start to feel more comfortable.”

“Did you bring him/her here or-?”

“No Yuta hyung dropped him/her and I came because Kun hyung was going somewhere and he just dropped me off here.”

“Mmmhh, how is Yuta hyung? I miss him, he seems so happy now.”

“He’s great, his smile never leaves his face. Taeyong hyung really made him a better person and I’m happy to know that he has someone like Taeyong hyung who will stick by him.”

“Mhmh, I’m happy too but sometimes I wish he was still with us you know. But you’re right, it looks like your Taeyong hyung really turned him around.”

“Hey speaking of turned around, what happened to your parents bro? Y/N told me that he/she was really close with them.”

“Yea, he/she had really good memories with them and my parents thought of him/her as their kid. He/she’s been through a lot in his/her life and struggled with his/her own parents and I guess he/she just felt more comfortable with mine. Not that I minded one bit, we were practically attached at the hip because we really did everything together. Anyway, my folks just took the blame for some people, they thought things would’ve been easier like that. Obviously it didn’t work out the way they thought and they actually got locked up and I uh, just had to manage on my own.”

“Hey man I’m sorry. Y/N just spoke of them so fondly, it got me wondering what happened too. But you had someone there with you right?”

“Yea, Hansol hyung. He gave me a place to call home. And Jaemin, he made it feel like home.”

“How’s that Jaemin kid? You’re close with him right? He’s kinda cute, what’s his story?”

“Hey back off Jaemin. He’s been through hell and back and is still going through shit he doesn’t deserve. His story isn’t one to share, if he doesn’t tell you himself then don't bother asking around for it because it’s very personal to him. And I’m not playin’, we can never fight over him the way we do with Y/N because he doesn’t need any more violence than he already goes through alright? Promise me, even if you ever do end up liking him, we cannot fight over him, just let him choose who he wants.”

“Yea, I promise man. He just always looks so hopeless and it breaks my heart because I feel like I could help him, you know?” 

“There’s nothing you can do that could possibly help him,” Renjun scoffs.

“It’s always worth a shot isn’t it. A little hope could go a long way. Hey, look there comes Y/N,” Jeno says simply, lightly hitting Renjun’s knee as he stands up to greet you.

You walk out wiping the last of your tears with Yuta’s arm resting on your shoulder supportively. A smile perks up on your face when you see Jeno but when you see him with Renjun then that smile turns into pure confusion.

Renjun puts his hands up as he walks up to you, “Don’t worry we aren’t gunna argue again, we just wanted to be here for you.”

“Speaking of which,” Yuta says as he lets go of you so Renjun can hug you. “When and how did you get here Jeno?”

“Oh Kun hyung was going somewhere and I asked if he could just drop me off first so that’s how I’m here. And I’ve been here since 11:15ish so about an hour and Renjun came sometime since then and we were just talkin,” Jeno explains causally with his thumbs in his pocket.

“Ok? Weren’t you two like fighting yesterday?” Yuta whispers as he leans and gestures at Renjun with his shoulder.

“Yeah but we both wanted to support Y/N and we just kinda moved on I guess,” Jeno replies.

“Hmm that’s... nice. Uh do you think we can all go for lunch together? Is that gunna be ok with you guys or-” Yuta asks a bit fearfully.

“Hm, I’ll just go ask them real quick,” Jeno says as he walks over to you and Renjun. “Hey guys, do you wanna go to lunch together?” He puts his hand on Renjun’s shoulder and looks at you with a hint of a smile.

Renjun shrugs Jeno’s hand off his shoulder and turns to face him. “Um no, I-”

“Sorry Jeno, maybe next time. Renjun and I will go for a walk and grab lunch together so we’ll be fine. Thanks for the offer though,” you decline politely with a feeble smile.

“Alright then, just make sure you come home for dinner. Taeyong hyung likes to eat with everyone and we’d really appreciate if you joined us,” Jeno says.

“Yeah sure. I should be home by then,” you assure.

“Cool see you then, let me know if you ever need anything ok?” Jeno puts in.

“Don’t worry I’ll take care of him/her,” Renjun says a bit smugly.

“Alrighty then, take care,” Jeno adds with a light wave before joining Yuta in his van.

_________

Kun drops off Jeno at the county jail and decides to go for his usual walk around the riverbank. Wild grass grew freely like it had no limit and Kun enjoys the satisfying crunch of dried grass beneath his feet. As he makes his way across the river on the bridge, he sees an angular figure who was hunched over the iron railing wearing a signature black leather jacket. So he faintly walks over to the guy with broad shoulders, surprised to see someone else here.

Kun gasps as this angelic figure turns his head to face him- soft, dewy, gullible features framed by his dark hair. Kun was at a complete loss but he quickly regains himself and extends his hand, “He- hello, I’m Kun. It’s nice to see someone else here for a change,” he shyly introduces.

Color floods the guy’s face as he shakes Kun’s hand and reciprocates the introduction. “H-hi. My name is Winwin, I don’t really come here so th-that’s why-”

“O-oh ok. Would you like to walk together?” Kun offers, looking nervously at his shoes.

“Yea that sounds nice,” Winwin says as he fully turns around, ready to walk with him.

“Cool, so um, are you still in school or somethin’?”

“Yea, I’m starting my first year in university next week.”

“Oh wow that’s cool. I’m going into my second year, where are you attending?”

“I forget the name but it’s just the local one around here.”

“Ahh I see, I’m going there too! Hopefully we’ll see each other there. So do you have any questions about anything?”

“Yea, quite a bit actually, more than I’d like to admit.”

“Hey that’s alright, it is your first year after all.”

“Yea, so what’s the food like? In my high school, the food was just terrible, I think I’ve been scarred for life.”

“Haha, well you’ll be happy to hear that the food here is delightful. Where did you even go for high school, it sounds like a nightmare.”

“Oh it was-”

“Hansol, I told you this would happen! I warned you something like this would happen one day and now look what’s happening!” a familiar voice erupts from the trees not too far away. Kun and Winwin hide in the bushes and Kun pokes his head to glance as the two speakers and his eyes go wide with shock. Taeil stands with his hands on his hips, looking up at Hansol, his usually soft eyes furrowed together in anger.

“Taeil, calm down. Things will be fine just as always-”

“But this isn’t like always! Why can’t you understand? We got Y/N to deal with now and I worry there’s gunna be too many secrets slipping out that will cause the inevitable fight to break out. Things may be fine right now but once he/she learns secrets and stories from both sides then thins aren’t gunna be so pretty because it doesn’t look like he/she’s the type to rest until he/she knows everything.”

“Taeil, when we split to start our groups, we knew something like this would happen one day. But you were the one who told me that we needed to have trust in ourselves to-”

“Ah-choo!” Winwin sneezes.

“Winwin!” Kun whisper shouts as he smacks his arm in shock.

“Winwin?” Hansol asks as he walks over to their location.

Taeil follows Hansol and asks, “Kun? What are you guys doing here, together?”

Part 6

*ahh I'm soooooo soo sorry for posting so late, I got busy with a bunch of stuff the past few days

*So I hope this was a good filler but then I decided, I think it’s time to bring out mission #winkun to just spice things up a lil bit

*I plan to have part 6 up much faster than this update so I'm sry bare with me

*anyways as usual I’d love to hear any thoughts, comments, or questions, hope you enjoyed this

[saving-people-shipping-things]

Falling Around You: Part 1

Title: Falling Around You

Pairing: Sam x Reader

Summary: Sam pines away for the reader in secret, but when she loses all memory of hunting and monsters, he’s forced to rethink how to approach his feelings.

Theme song: “Over You” by Ingrid Michaelson

Word count: 4,159

A/N: What is it with me and one shots that turn into series??? Anyways, this is my first Sam series, and I have to give a huge shoutout to my beta @idjitmonkey​ for helping me to avoid Sam sounding like Dean (#DeanGirlProblems). This is the first part of what will probably be a 3 or 4 part series for @impala-dreamer​ and @idreamofhazel​ ‘s Sam fic challenge. My prompt is the quote “We are far from perfect, but we are good.” I haven’t used it yet, but trust me, it’ll be used later. Let me know if you want to be tagged for future parts!

Sam smelled it first. The smoke. The charred flesh. The smoldering fabric. It was an all too familiar smell, a scent no one should have to be familiar with. But the scent came first, and with it, the memories tattooed in his brain, permanent and infecting his body with a poisonous ink.

Next came the realization. It’s happening again. Sam’s heart flew into his throat as tendrils of gray curled from underneath the door to the next room. He kicked the door open and the blaze towered over him in an arc like a tidal wave, but even through the flickering forest of scorching flames, he saw clearly who this time was pinned to the ceiling.

You.

Your mouth hung open in a silent scream, eyes wide and panicked but long since dead. Sam called out your name, lungs bursting in his chest with the force of his shout, but he made no sound.

Sam woke up to sheets soaked with his sweat.

It had been the same nightmare for one-hundred and sixty-four days.

#

Constant nightmares meant Sam was constantly the first one up and about in the mornings. Interrupted sleep with the image of you on the ceiling burned on the inside of his eyelids was hell for his concentration most days, but it was great for making sure he got an early start. The sun had barely risen and he was already back from his run, panting and dripping with sweat. He guzzled a bottle of water as Dean shuffled into the room in his bathrobe.

Dean grimaced at his younger brother and put on a pot of coffee. “Dude, you stink.”

Sam shrugged. “At least I take care of my body.”

Withdrawing the remainder of the doughnut Dean had just shoved in his mouth, he spoke around the food. “Wha’ oo you mean?”

“Never mind.”

You wandered in, letting out a loud and dramatic yawn as you blinked and stretched. Your hair was in total disarray thanks to your chronic case of behead, and Sam couldn’t help but laugh and give it a playful tug when you passed.

“What was that for?” You slapped his hand away.

Sam took his toast to the table. “Nothing. How did you sleep last night?”

“Like a rock.”

Sam watched you move around the kitchen in a rhythm unique to you. It was the same routine every morning, without fail. Half-asleep, you’d pull out a mug for your coffee, then poke your head into the fridge for something to eat. Then you’d realize you forgot to pour any coffee and abandon the fridge without closing it. After pouring your coffee, you’d remember you forgot to close the fridge and do that. But then you’d open it right back up again because you forgot to grab the creamer while it was open.

And every morning, Sam would smile at you from the table when you weren’t looking. The day didn’t really start until you’d bustled around the kitchen to get yourself some breakfast.

“I stayed up way too late last night binging ‘Sherlock,’” you continued, joining Sam and Dean at the table with a cup of coffee and a container of mango yogurt. “But, you know, once you watch a season finale you have to see the episode of the next season.”

“I’m familiar with that torture,” Sam said. “I had to wait over two years to watch the next episode, though. You’re lucky you have Netflix.”

Your eyes got wide and round over the rim of your mug. They matched the light brown, creamy color of your coffee, accentuated by the thick black eyelashes. “You’re kidding.”

Sam shook his head. “Nope. It was a long hiatus.”

Dean snorted from his end of the table. “Dork.”

“Hey,” both Sam and you protested simultaneously.

“You’re just jealous because you’re missing out on all the ‘Sherlock’ fun,” you pointed out. “We all know you’re the biggest dork here.”

“Excuse me?”

“She’s right, Dean.” Sam balled up his napkin and took it along with your empty yogurt container to throw out. “It may be a different kind of dorkiness, but it still counts. Who stayed up all night to finish a ‘Dr. Sexy’ marathon last month?”

“That’s different. ‘Dr. Sexy’ is an art form.”

“If you say so.” You stood up to wash your mug. “But anyways. I found ourselves a case.”

That caught the brothers’ attention, pulling them away from their relentless teasing of each other.

“What?” Dean said, as Sam said, “Where?”

You answered both of their questions. “Some small town in South Dakota, not sure what. But people are literally losing their minds from whatever it is. Total memory loss for no reason other than they went into this ‘haunted house’ on a dare. One day they’re fine, the next they don’t even recognize their own families. It’s near Sioux Falls, so I thought we could stop by and say hey to Bobby on the way back.”

“Sounds good to me. I’m gonna go change.” Dean stood up from the table, gesturing to Sam, but speaking to you. “Make that man take a shower before small animals start passing out when he walks by them.”

You snorted, then called after him as he walked away. “Why would you think I’d have any control over him? He’s a grown man.”

“I don’t know, bat your eyes or something.”

Sam muttered, “Jerk,” under his breath, trying to play it cool even as heat rose to his feet.”

“So,” you said once Dean had left and leaned against the counter in what was probably supposed to be a seductive way, but coming from you came across more like a toddler playing dress up in her mom’s heels. You had no clue what you were doing, and it was absolutely adorable. “Do I need to bat my eyes at you or are you going to shower? Cause I hate to side with Dean on, well, anything, but you do stink, and there’s no way in hell I’m getting in a car with you for seven hours like this.”

“Like you said, I’m a grown man.” Sam tugged at your hair again, earning himself another slap from you. “I’ll take a shower.”

“Thank you, kind sir. Now we can all save those poor, innocent forest creatures Dean is so worried about.”

“Those bastards,” Sam said with a twinkle in his eye, because he knew as soon as he said it, you’d be doubled over with laughter, and your laugh was one of those rare things that couldn’t be manufactured but made the sun wonder how you were able to outshine it.

It was a simple phrase, but held enough meaning between you two, it was like a secret code. After your first hunt together, you’d hit it off so well, you decided to catch a movie nearby. But of course, no movie was complete without smuggled snacks. Into CVS you went, and while Sam opted for the healthier choice of trail mix of which you later picked out all the M&M’s, you went straight for the candy bars and other junk foods.

“They don’t have my favorite chips!” You’d gasped, clutching a Snickers bar in each hand.

Something about your utterly indignant face as you stared in horror at the shelves made Sam grin wider than he’d ever had. “Those bastards,” he replied, without missing a beat.

You’d turned to him, the serious look still etched upon your face, then folded over on yourself, wheezing for breath as you laughed. Maybe it had been the hunting high you were both still coming off of, maybe it was the lack of sleep, or maybe something else entirely. But something had changed then. Maybe just for Sam, but it had still undoubtedly changed.

“Hey, Sam?” You said before Sam could leave the room completely.

Sam poked his head back in the kitchen. “Yeah?”

You fidgeted with the ends of your frizzy hair. “Did you sleep okay last night?”

Sam stiffened. He leaned against the doorway so you wouldn’t notice. “Yeah. Fine. Why do you ask?”

“Nothing.” You sighed and turned away. “I thought I heard someone calling out in the middle of the night, but maybe I was just dreaming.”

“Maybe,” Sam said, and left before you could ask any more questions.

#

You were making excellent time up until the last hour when the skies broke open over you and pelted the road with glittering glass shards of raindrops. It was an angry, punk rock sort of rain that obscured your vision and made it impossible to do anything but crawl to the nearest exit.

“We’ll stay with Bobby tonight,” Dean said as he pulled off down a quieter road, away from most of the traffic. “I’m sure he won’t mind. We can do some research there and head out again tomorrow.”

Bobby did mind, very much, as he was wrapping up a date none of you had known about when you arrived, soaking wet, your shoes more mud than they were shoes. After Bobby had bid the woman farewell, Dean proceeded to tease him for a straight half hour. Sam just shook his head at his brother and thanked Bobby for letting them crash, then headed to the kitchen to get a head start on the research.

You joined him soon afterward, but Sam only caught you in his peripherals as he really dissected the articles depicting the recent memory loss victims. You dug around in the cupboards, shamelessly raiding Bobby’s stash of food.

“Bobby!” You called out. “You really need to keep actual food in your kitchen, not just whiskey and cans of beans.”

“I do have real food,” the grizzled, grumpy man grumbled. He and Dean came in, distracting Sam for the time being. “I wasn’t expecting company, that’s all.”

“Yeah, only the company of your lady friend.” Dean smirked.

“Shut up, ya idjit,” Bobby muttered.

At some point, things quieted down. You found a Snickers bar at the bottom of your hunting bag, rectifying the food situation, and Dean helped Sam research for five minutes before faking a yawn and calling it a night. Sam continued to scroll through articles and Facebook posts on his laptop.

The thunk of a mug being set down on the table jerked Sam out of his trance.

“You need some caffeine if you’re going to keep this up for much longer,” you said. Your hands were wrapped around a steaming mug of your own. “You look exhausted.”

“Thanks. Restless night last night,” Sam said without thinking. He stifled a yawn on the back of his hand.

Your eyebrows knitted together. “I thought you said you slept fine.”

Sam’s fingers hovered over the keyboard. “I did. I just meant—”

He broke off. There wasn’t a good enough lie within his grasp for him to use, so he grabbed the mug instead. It was hot, much more than usual. “Did you warm the mug first?”

A smile tugged your lips at the corners, barely. “Yeah. You always get so focused on your research, you know, sometimes your drink gets cold. I figured the coffee would take longer to cool down this way.”

It was just a normal, unsweetened, generic cup of coffee in a chipped mug worn from one too many times through the dishwasher. And Sam loved it.

“Thank you.” He picked it up and held it to his chest as you sat down next to him.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” You asked. “I mean, I know hunters always have bags under their eyes, but yours have seemed a little darker than usual lately.”

Sam sighed. He wasn’t able to keep things from you, most of the time. Just the most important bits, the ones that would condemn him in ways that would change your relationship permanently, for better or for worse. “It’s been a rough few nights. Nothing I can’t handle.”

“Nightmares?” You ventured.

Sam nodded.

“I get them, too. Sometimes I see them at night, my family. And it feels—so real.” You took a shuddering breath, staring at the wall. You looked paler than usual. “But then I wake up and they’re gone. I can’t always decide what’s worse: having them there, covered in blood in my dreams or having them—just gone.”

Sam knew you were thinking about them—your parents and younger brother. And he knew just how you felt, down to the “it’s all my fault” face you got when you thought he wasn’t looking. But he couldn’t reach out or do more than say, “It sucks, doesn’t it?”

You nodded. “Yeah. Really screws with my beauty sleep.” You cracked a sideways smile at him. “And you could definitely use more of that.”

Sam rolled his eyes, snorting. “Thanks.”

“I’m just saying, a little facial cream does wonders—”

“I get the picture.”

You squeezed Sam’s shoulder, and an electric jolt ran through him, like a little shock, though he knew he’d imagined it. “Don’t stay up too late tonight, ‘kay? We can always do more research on the road.”

“Don’t worry about me.”

You shrugged and put your mug in the sink. “I can’t help it.”

Sam tried not to watch you leave, but he couldn’t resist a glance your way as you disappeared around the corner.

Bobby watched you, too. Or rather, watched Sam watch you.

“What?” Sam said, too defensively as he opened another tab on his laptop.

“She’s sweet on you,” Bobby said softly.

Sam snorted again, but there was no humor behind this one. This was all self-deprecation. “No she’s not.”

Bobby’s stern look was one Sam was well acquainted with. It was often paired with a grumbled “idjit.” “Boy, I’ve been around the bend a few times too many to know that that girl has more than just friendly concern for you. Believe me.”

“You’re crazy, Bobby.” Sam didn’t look up from his laptop when he spoke.

“Don’t you go calling me crazy in my own home. You boys just can’t realize when something good’s right in front of you, can you?”

Sam didn’t resume his typing until he could no longer hear Bobby’s heavy footfalls. When he went back to his Google searching, he found he couldn’t focus any better with the room empty, save for Bobby’s words echoing in Sam’s head, than he could with it full of people.

Sam picked up his coffee mug, realizing he hadn’t even sipped at it, and took a drink. Still warm. He smiled down at the contents in spite of the remnants of his nightmares flashing in front of his eyes.

Maybe if he told himself enough that he was fine. Maybe if he did, he could get over this. Get over you.

#

You made a big show of grumbling your discontent as you got out of the Impala to ask directions at the gas station, but Dean insisted on sending you inside. As soon as the door had slammed shut and you started to walk away, Dean whipped around to face you.

“What’s this I hear about you and Y/N?” He demanded, all business.

Sam threw his hands up in defense. “Whoa. What’s what about what?”

“You know what. Just answer the question.”

“How am I supposed to answer a question when I don’t even know the question?”

Dean sighed and drummed his fingers on the steering wheel. “Bobby told me last night that you and Y/N have a thing going.”

Sam laughed. Loudly. Too forcefully. “There’s no thing.”

“B.S., Sam. Bobby seemed pretty sure of himself.”

“Bobby’s crazy.”

Dean shook his head. “He said you’d say that.”

“Seriously, Dean—it was a silly crush, okay? Like ages ago. But I’m over it now, it’s no big deal. And Y/N doesn’t know it ever happened, so let’s keep it that way.”

Dean set his jaw and squinted his green eyes at Sam for a long time, but you reemerged before he could interrogate is brother further. “Okay.”

You slid into the backseat. “Yeah, just like your phone said, Dean. Straight ahead. I’m not sure why you don’t trust GPS. Everyone uses it.”

“Because I swear one day, these machines will rise up against us,” Dean said as he started the Impala up again.

“You sound like my grandfather.”

“Maybe he had a point.”

Sam tuned out your bickering and leaned his head against the window, resisting the urge to doze. He couldn’t risk another nightmare with you and Dean in the car. Not when he already spent half the night last night tossing and turning.

Your face, framed by the flames, flashed in front of him again. Sam sat up straighter, pinching his forearm. As much as he hated the reminders from his subconscious, the reminders were necessary.

So many names. Too many gravestones. He would not add yours to the growing list.

#

You all reached the old, abandoned house, and you reached up to tie your thick hair back. But, of course, it didn’t work the way you’d planned.

“Shoot,” you muttered. “I always forget—”

“—your damn hair tie?” Sam finished for you, pulling one out of his pocket.

You laughed and accepted it, tying your hair into a ponytail. “You’re a lifesaver. Honestly.”

“I try.”

“When you two are done flirting, we’ve got a haunted house to inspect,” Dean said as he passed, earning him a less than kind hand gesture from Sam when you weren’t looking.

The house was a total cliché, something straight out of a cheesy horror flick. It was dusty and over a hundred years old and had floorboards that creaked louder than a clap of thunder if you so much as breathed too loudly.

“Nice digs,” you said with a heavy dose of sarcasm. “I’m sure there’s something here that’s causing the memory loss.”

“Let’s hope.” Dean shone his flashlight around the bottom floor. “Otherwise we’ve got to figure out where else these people could have been attacked.”

“I’ll take the upstairs,” Sam offered. He gripped his knife tighter as he looked at the rickety staircase.

You batted a cluster of cobwebs away from your hair. “I’ll join you. Might be nicer than down here.”

“Doubt it,” Dean said, but you and Sam went upstairs anyways.

Dean was right. The upstairs wasn’t much better, but it creaked less, and it allowed for you and Sam to be in the same space without Dean or Bobby potentially causing problems. Sam found that for as often as you made him fight for breath, it was also easier to breathe around you. Something as simple as your presence stilled him. It was a rare and beautiful thing to find a soul that could calm another.

“What?” You said, startling Sam.

“What?” Sam echoed.

“You were staring at me. Something in my teeth?”

Sam cleared his throat and pretended to be rifling through an ancient wardrobe. “No. Sorry. Just zoning.”

“That’s ‘cause you didn’t sleep last night.”

“Did you?” Sam countered. “I heard someone up at four getting water.”

“You had to be awake to hear me.”

“Touché.”

You ran your hand along the top of a desk, shuffling a few papers out of the way as you did so. “So if you were awake—” You broke off, and Sam followed your gaze to the fireplace. On top of the hearth was a glittering object, some sort of crown. “Whoa, fancy.”

“Y/N, I wouldn’t—” Sam started, darting forward.

But you’d already touched it. You shrieked as a bolt of something electric audibly crackled, blasting you backward into the wall. Sam fell beside you when you crumpled. Your eyelids fluttered, thick lashes twitching with them. Sam felt for your pulse. It still beat in a steady rhythm, if not more rapidly. Dean could be heard storming up the stairs, calling both of your names, but Sam didn’t answer him.

“Y/N?” He said, holding your face in both of his hands. He tried not to think about how it fit perfectly, a puzzle piece falling into place. “Y/N, can you hear me?”

The door slammed against the wall as Dean burst in. Plaster fell like snow from the hole in the wall thanks to the doorknob smashing into it.

“What the hell happened?” Dean panted. “Y/N? Is she—”

You groaned in response, reaching out to Sam like he was a raft in the middle of a stormy sea. Your eyes were unfocused, breathing more shallow. “Sam?” You mumbled. “Something—ungh, I feel sick . . .”

“Hey, hey, hey.” You tried to stand, but your legs wouldn’t hold your weight. Sam caught you before you could hit the floor again. It was a good thing you weighed close to nothing, or at least it seemed that way to Sam.

Dean stepped out of Sam’s way, watching as he lifted you into his arms. “Get her to the car. What happened?”

Sam jerked his head toward the crown. “Touched that. Careful, I think that’s the source of our problems.”

Dean shook out a cloth from his pocket as Sam took you from the room. A minute later, Dean slid into the front seat of the Impala and glanced back at Sam inspecting your head.

“Definitely cursed,” Dean confirmed. His lips were set in a grim line. “How’s her memory?”

“Haven’t gotten that far yet.” Sam leaned back and waved his hand in front of your eyes to get your attention. “Hey, can you tell me your name?”

“Sure, I can. It’s Y/N Y/L/N,” you said, and though your speech was slurred, Sam couldn’t find any other reason to worry.

“And where are we?”

“Near Sioux Falls. South Dakota. We’re staying with Bobby.”

“What just happened?”

“I touched that.” You pointed to the crown wrapped in Dean’s cloth. “And everything went dizzy.”

“I think she’s okay,” Dean said. Both his and Sam’s faces were uncertain, but there was nothing more they could do. “We’ll keep an eye on her, just to be sure.”

“Sam?” You said again, and to Sam’s surprise you scooted closer across the seat and curled into him. You must have been tired. “Can we get food? Real food? Greasy food? I’m hungry.”

Sam’s stomach churned at the thought of another diner meal where the closest thing to a vegetable was corn, but he couldn’t resist you. Never was able to. Especially now, when your head resting against his shoulder, when your messy ponytail draped over his arm, when your eyes were half-shut and vulnerable.

Over you. He was so over you. Over your laugh and your smile and your wit and your everything.

“Sure,” Sam said. “Anywhere you want.”

#

You gasped from across the booth at the menu, startling Dean, who sat next to you, but Sam just glanced up from his own menu. He had a guess as to what you’d say.

“Sam!” You said in indignation. “They don’t have any cheese dip!”

“Those bastards,” he laughed, which made you laugh despite the grievous offense of leaving out cheese dip as a menu item.

Dean shook his head at both of you. “I stand by my original ‘dorks’ statement.”

You hit him with your menu.

Somehow, you all managed to find something worth eating even without the cheese dip, and an hour later you strode back to the Impala, full of food and laughing at each other’s jokes.

Then, without warning, you collapsed again.

This time Sam wasn’t able to catch you, but he did help you off the asphalt, wincing on behalf of your skinned knees.

“You okay?” Dean went to your other side, helping you to sit down in the backseat.

You blinked a few times, then smiled up at the both of them. “I feel fine, why?”

Sam and Dean exchanged a glance.

“You just fell down over there,” Sam said. “Can you—are you still remembering things okay?”

“What do you mean?”

“Just go through the questions again.” Dean left Sam to go to the driver’s seat and get the engine going.

Sam crouched down to get on your level. “Where are we?”

“A diner?” You said, as if it were totally obvious. Your forehead had confused crinkles in it.

“Okay, good, and where are we going?”

“Back to Sioux Falls, I assume.”

“What’s your name?”

“Y/N Singer.”

Sam was about to stand up, satisfied with your answers, but your last one made him pause. “What did you say?”

“Y/N Singer,” you repeated. The crinkles in your forehead were deeper. “Why are you questioning me? I just scraped my knees. I’m fine.”

“Dean,” Sam said in warning, but Dean had already twisted around in his seat.

“I heard her,” he said, his face clouding over. “Let’s get her to Bobby’s quick.”

“You guys are acting weird. Weirder than usual,” you said as you all drove back to Sioux Falls.

Dean grunted, but didn’t say anything for the remainder of the drive. Neither did you. Neither did Sam.

Part 2

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[moodyblueangel]

Broadchurch - Season 3

I’m working abut 60 hours less this week than I usually do, so that's given me the opportunity to finally splurge out all the Broadchuch questions I have for the finale on Monday.  

I loved the first season. I loved the second season too and will never understand the criticism for it. I'm distraught that this is the last season and still don't understand why that's the case.

So with that in mind, I've nailed it down to seven questions that the show needs to answer in one 45 minute final episode. Yikes...

1) Who Did It?

Perhaps the most important question of the season. We've been there with Trish since she reported her attack and the show has delicately, sensitively and honestly dealt with the procedural and emotional repercussions of that brave act. At a time when we are littered with the negative ways that women who have been survivors of sexual crime are perceived and treated by the law, by the media and by society, it has been refreshing to have something  high profile, such as a successful drama show, combat this issue head on.

It may feel that the town of Broadchurch and it's surrounding areas is a little over the top in having so many men be in the frame and considered potentially capable of doing such a heinous crime. However, each is very different in the way they are culpable. Some are multiple adulterers and treat their spouses and the women they sleep with as possessions that can be used and thrown away at choice. Some are seemingly nice guys, but feel that they can obsess over women, stalk them, photograph them without their consent. Some think it's okay to view women as sexualized objects as long as it's through a screen. Others just simply doubt a woman who has been viciously attacked. This isn't Broadchurch being over the top, it's just simply portraying the ubiquitous misogyny that we have to deal with every day. Only one (or maybe two!) of those men are guilty of the crime, but that doesn't mean they aren't all guilty.

By about episode 6 of series one I was absolutely sure I knew who the murderer was and I turned out to be right. This season I do not have a clue. I have no main suspect. The list of suspects actually increased the further the series has gone on rather than decreased. Now, I love me some Hardy and Miller, but on this investigation they've gained victims and suspects! However, they are both super cute, so I'll forgive *pats silly detectives on the head*.

So the main suspects are; Ian the creepy ex husband, Jim the philandering husband, Lucas the weird trinket collecting cab driver,  Horrible Histories Rapist, Leo the Twine Boy and Ed the stalker.

Frankly, it could be any of those, they've all been highly under suspicion , questioned and investigated. Plus, they are a pack of creepy creepersons. Taking that into consideration, if one of those men were involved, it won't just be him that's guilty. There will be a twist somewhere. Maybe it was more than one. We know there were two other victims at least over the last few years, perhaps and most terrifyingly, it was a different man for each attack.

So that leads us on to the outsiders. The men who haven't been specifically under the spotlight.

Michael - Evil cab driver's stepson. He's got the face of someone who is guilty about something. Perhaps it's just because of the porn on his phone and computer, but dollars to donuts he's hiding something else. Maybe the bright light that Trish saw during her attack was from his phone? If Lucas Snr is involved then it's looking likely that his stepson knows more than we think.

Tom Miller - The reason the season one reveal was so spectacular and effective was because it was the option that would have the most effect on Ellie. She is the heart of the show and we follow her emotions and feelings. If Tom was involved in any way imaginable, that reveal would have the same kick in the stomach as Joe's did in the first series.

The housekeeper/Owner - He either knows more than he's letting on or is involved somehow

Paul the Vicar - There's always been a slight edge to the reverend, something less than holy. He's been very much on the outskirts of everything throughout the three seasons. Could he be involved? If he is, then it'll probably take more than an hour to explain it!

The caterer - We saw him briefly during the flashback to Cath's party and was briefly questioned by Hary and Miller. He was at the location all night. However, I can't remember his name. He's not a significant character. Would it be  disappointing reveal if it was him?

Nige - It's curious that they've brought Nige back, but we've only seen him briefly. What was that about? Was it just for the hit of nostalgia, or is there more to it? Susan said that she was worried that he would turn into his father's son. Maybe he has.  

SOCO Brian- Yeah, I'm considering everyone. It's a long shot and there's probably been too many DNA trails for it to be someone in the business.  

2) Who does the house belong to?

A few episodes back now, Hardy and Miller mentioned how Trish's attack would have been visible from the house in the grounds, or a light that Trish saw could have been directed from there. However, as of yet, they could not find the owner of the property. It still hasn't been revealed. Is this important? Is it something else that's going to be revealed? Or was it just a red herring?

3) Who does the blue twine belong to?

Twine Boy obviously knows more than he's letting on. I don't think either Miller or myself were fooled by his sob story in the least episode.  That being said, it's a seaside town, blue twine is hanging about all over the place. It really could be anyone.

4) What's going to happen to the Latimers?

I liked how the series reiterated how the grief of a family doesn't just suddenly go away, that it's on going and closure and moving on is a continuing battle. I also loved the actors involved in this family. They are brilliant at whatever they're given. However, for the most part their inclusion has seemed jarring sometimes with the on going story. There was just so much to explore with both stories, both seemed a little rushed at times.  Their story has linked well to parenthood theme that's run through the season, though. Either way, there's only 45 minutes left of the whole series and they seem to be in a more confusing place now than at the start of the season. Enough time to give them a decent ending?

5) Will Daisy leave?

Hardy ripped up her train ticket and did the best rant ever on television at the teenage boys. However, I'm not sure that's going to take away Daisy's dislike of Broadchurch. We still haven't found out what exactly happened at her mum's to provoke her move to the town with Hardy either.  

6) Have we seen the last of Joe?

There were some wonderful scenes in Liverpool with Mark, but the whole Joe storyline still seems a little unfinished. I know they all drove him out of town with the promise that they would kill him if he returned, but can we really leave the series knowing he's literally got away with murder? That's not even the most fearful part about it. He's out there free to groom any young boy that he may find. We've got no reason to believe he won't do what he did to Danny to another child. Also, how do we know he won't try to contact his children? Legally, he has a right to them. Unless any new evidence comes up, the law is on his side, not Ellie's in respect to how close he can come to his kids or the town.  

7) How will we leave Hardy and Miller?

The most important part of the finale, for me anyway. I love these characters, they are the spine of the whole show and have knocked everything they've been given this season out the park. I could literally watch them just interview the vile men of Broadchurch for hour after hour. My favourite thing in life is now Olivia Colman's 'done with mankind' withering looks.  However, I feel that these two characters have taken a sort of back seat to the case and the Latimers, this season. Particularly Ellie. It sort of feels very similar to the first season for her character. On the surface everything is almost tickity boo, but there are hints and clues all along that things are going to impload for her in the finale again.

I know we've seen how Ellie had a little struggle with Tom and porn on his phone, but so far it hasn't implicitly been suggested that it's anything more than stupid teenage boy behaviour. We know her mum died recently, but it was only briefly mentioned. We haven't seen any huge evidence of the obvious grief that event must have triggered. We know she's back as a D.S now, but we haven't really seen how she managed to work her way back into the job. We know she hasn't been sleeping and is having nightmares, but again, we don't know if this is just because of the case or if this has been a long term thing. We know she obviously doesn't see or hear from Joe, but we don't know if she's divorced, whether she did the same as Mark and found out where he is so she can keep an eye on his whereabouts.  

The same can be sort of said for Hardy as well. We don't know really know why he decided to come back to Broadchurch, Daisey in tow. We don't know how his health is. We know he doesn't sleep either, but we don't know why. We don't know how he managed to get his old job back (surely they must have had a DI in his place for 2 years?). We know he has a fondness for Broadchurch now, he's expressed that much, but we still don't know any more. I'm assuming that the Sandbrook case didn't completely fall apart at he court case, like Danny's murder trial did. A little reference to that would have been nice.  

Anyway, it's Ellie really who, for me at least, as a viewer I live and breathe with (but I love Hardy too). How are we supposed to wrap up their stories in just 45 minutes, along with all the other questions needing answers? I don't want to leave forever not knowing why they aren't sleeping, or if Joe will try and see his kids, or if Alec will stay in Broadchurch even if Daisy leaves.

I still can't believe we're leaving these two characters and never coming back to them. It feels like we've only just got them. I'm not done with them yet. I know they've said this is definitely the last season, but that just seems so final and definite. I know David Tennant and Olivia Colman are hugely in demand and Chris Chibnall in off to play in Who land, but surely a little Christmas special here and there wouldn't hurt anyone? Or possibly a spin off away from Broadchurch, with just those two characters?  

I just don't want to leave them yet. And I don't want to leave them without knowing they'll be okay.

[mittensmorgul]

I've had some anons who have been concerned that this episode is heralding a return of the codependency dynamic, but I think that’s leaving out a huge part of what 12.09 was hammering home, and completely ignoring what that experience was for Dean.

We encountered this exact same difficulty with 11.17, Red Meat. For my money, that episode was a HUGE turning point for Dean, and I was shocked that so many people seemed to react to it negatively, believing that it was only reinforcing the codependency, because I saw it as the exact opposite, and I have talked about that fact AT LENGTH. I mean, see pretty much my entire 11.17 tag for reference purposes. If you don’t have time to wade through all 

http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/150593470245/if-you-think-that-there-was-any-growth-for-dean (which is pretty much summed up with the quote “Maybe try watching it again without the presumption that the show is trying to show you the absolute worst version of everything.”)

http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/142206972625/mittensmorgul-i-watched-1117-again-today-and

http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/142033546845/im-rewatching-the-episode-just-to-point-out-some (which is literally 4k+ words on the episode)

http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/142551724425/winjennster-gillasue345-winjennster

I mean, there’s more, but I’ve got other stuff to do today besides rehash 11.17... :D

But saying that Dean called Billie in with the sole intent of sacrificing himself to save Sammy? THAT’S ERASING PRETTY MUCH EVERYTHING WE KNOW ABOUT DEAN’S CHARACTER GOING ALL THE WAY BACK TO THE PILOT EPISODE FOR THE SOLE PURPOSE OF FORCING YOURSELF TO FEEL ANGRY AT THE SHOW.

So, maybe own that, internalize it, and then look at the ENTIRE text in context without cherry-picking the details that support the negative argument you’re trying to make.

(sorry if I sound a bit angry/wanky there, but some of my anons are clearly coming from a place of deep anger about this issue, and it’s just not what I saw in that episode, or with Dean, AT ALL, so... yelling at me isn’t gonna change reality)

Let me explain.

From the pilot episode, Dean Winchester has been the Official Poster Boy for Abandonment Issues. He’d been fine hunting on his own for a while. He was hurt when Sam left the family to go to college, but Dean carried on hunting with John. At some point, knowing that John was hunting and Sam was safe at Stanford, Dean was content to hunt on his own, BECAUSE his family was still accounted for, even if they weren’t physically present in his life. The thing that drove him to finally beg for Sam’s help? The fear that John might’ve been injured and/or killed on a hunt. THAT was what Dean couldn’t face alone:

Dean: I can’t do this alone. Sam: Yes, you can. Dean: Yeah, well... I don’t want to.

Dean 100% thought he was going to go looking for John and find his body. He couldn’t face that alone, despite having been hunting on his own for a while by that point. It was the loss he couldn’t face alone.

Over the years, the ONE THING that has frightened Dean the most has been ABANDONMENT. BEING ALONE IS DEAN WINCHESTER’S #1 FEAR AND ALWAYS HAS BEEN. PERIOD. THE END.

I’d pull references for this fact, but it was essentially the driving force of the entire series, so, may I direct you to like every episode of Supernatural ever...

Dude stoically stared down Lucifer and shot him in the face. He walked alone into a pizza parlor and shared a slice with Death. He went into a diner having prepared himself to let the Mother of all Monsters BITE HIM in order to kill her. He, a human being, was the most terrifying thing in Purgatory, to the point the monsters whispered scary stories about HIM.

He’s not afraid of anything. Except being alone with himself.

To Dean, there has been no greater threat, no more terrifying fate, than what Amara proposed (and what Billie proposed) in s11. The Darkness, The Empty. They both essentially amounted to the same thing. Both were coded as metaphors for depression, suicide, annihilation of self.

Literally they were threatening him with the complete annihilation of his soul. These things were held up like a mirror to Dean in 11.17 and again via his extreme isolation in that prison cell in 12.09.

The prison cell was as close to the Empty as we could possibly put Dean without actually rending his soul into nothingness. This was absolutely lampshaded by Agent Camp’s little speech from the promo clip, when he was explaining exactly how he intended to torture Sam and Dean. (lucky me, I’m about 2/3 done with the transcript of the episode. This is unedited, but largely complete.)

I don’t believe in torture. Doesn’t work. Oh, I’ve seen folks waterboarded, cut on. And they talk. Ooh, they do. But they never tell you what you need. You know what does work, though? Every time? Nothing. [Sam looks up at Camp at that] CAMP: See, when I leave, that door closes, and it stays closed, [scene shifts back to Dean] and you stay in the dark. Now, maybe that doesn’t sound so bad. [Camp moves so he’s leaning down in front of Sam] CAMP:  But after a month? [scene shifts to Camp leaning identically in front of Dean] A year? You spend enough time staring at these walls, just you and all that nothing, [shift back to Sam] you’ll get so crazy to talk, to see someone real, you’ll tell me exactly what I need. You’ll tell me with a smile. [Shifts back to Dean] CAMP: It’ll just take some time. [Camp leans back against the wall opposite Dean again with his arms crossed, with multiple shifts back and forth to Sam and Dean] Of course, the thing is, after what you did, no one’s in a hurry to get you that phone call. So you and me, we got all the time in the world. [Sam’s cell door slams shut and we see him flinch, Dean’s cell door slams shut hiding him from view]

We saw Sam flinch twice-- first at Camp’s use of the word “Nothing” to describe the method of torture he preferred, after describing waterboarding and cutting. THIS was what got Sam’s attention. Sam’s experience of being locked away, potentially for an eternity, was closer to what Camp described before, with the constant physical torture. Because THAT was Sam’s idea of torture. Yes, we’ve seen him endure it with a hearty SCREW YOU, but this isolation is something Sam is at least a little more psychologically prepared to accept than his brother is.

Because to Dean? Isolation is literally worse than his experiences in hell. Worse than 30 years of being tortured by the most accomplished torturer the universe has ever seen. And then 10 years of torturing others in turn... which to Dean ended up being even WORSE than actually BEING tortured.

Also, what was Dean’s first experience upon arriving in Hell? What was his Welcome to Hell reception area experience?

UTTER ISOLATION! BOUND BY CHAINS! COMPLETE LOSS OF FREE WILL!

Let’s not forget the shot where we reached this point by zooming into Dean’s eye until it blurred with the chains and nothingness inside his own mind... I’m sure that wasn’t a metaphor for Dean’s psyche or anything...

THIS. IS. DEAN’S. PERSONAL. HELL.

Throughout s11, Dean was confronted with these themes in the form of his guilt over the previous season and a half while dealing with the Mark of Cain. This emptiness, the absolute TERROR of the Loss of Self... I mean... going back to 10.09, this was literally his nightmare. Loss of self to the darkness of the Mark. It was his horrifying train of thought while talking to Len in 11.05 about what it was like to have lost his soul.

And Dean’s literal nightmares over the course of the entire series have revolved around loss, loss of self, and abandonment.

Can you begin to see why Dean broke first in the muggle version of The Empty? Locked away, alone, with nothing for company but his looooong history of guilt, depression, and abandonment issues? With nothing to break up the monotony but the thrice daily shout of CHOW TIME! and a screw to etch eternal hash marks into his concrete box?

THIS WAS EFFECTIVELY THE WORST THING THAT DEAN COULD EVER POSSIBLY IMAGINE HAPPENING TO HIM, SHORT OF UTTER OBLIVION.

I mean, in comparison, the Empty sounds pleasant. At least he wouldn’t have to EXPERIENCE all that nothingness, because he would’ve ceased to be.

THAT BOX WAS WORSE THAN HELL TO DEAN WINCHESTER.

I already replied to another anon shortly after the episode aired, and touched on this there:

http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/156426851620/i-was-reading-your-post-about-the-back-seat-and

One line I used in that reply was this: “Frankly, if Billie had said no, I think Dean would’ve probably just told her that he was done, and to just go ahead and take him. Period. End of deal. He would’ve given up.”

He would’ve preferred the literal Empty to staying in that concrete cell for one more CHOW TIME!.

Dean. Broke.

It had fuck-all to do with Sam. Well, it probably had a little bit to do with Sam, because heck, if Dean was going to throw in the towel, why not get something for Sam out of the deal in the process?

Go back and watch every Dean scene after they escape from the prison, with the knowledge of all the details of the deal Dean made with Billie. Because DEAN made that deal. Sam was just along for the ride. Dean was 100% in charge of that deal, and he fully intended to be the one to pay the price for it.

That entire run through the jungle was his last hurrah. It was Purgatory Dean on his Where’s the Angel quest all over again. Like, literally.

It was a culmination of every time Dean’s gone full “I’m on the clock so I’m gonna throw myself into the world as hard as I can until the world manages to take me out.” From s3′s cheeseburgers-for-breakfast and baiting-vampires-for-kicks, through s6′s raid on the vampire next, to s7′s kamikaze run on Dick Roman, to his 9.11 demon fight in Cain’s kitchen, to his end of s10 revenge against the Stynes, to handing himself over to Death in 10.23, to swallowing a soul bomb and flinging himself at Amara in 11.23. (luckily he chose to use his words instead of detonating himself, right?)

CASTIEL WAS THE ONLY PERSON DEAN WANTED TO SEE AGAIN BEFORE HE DIED ONCE AND FOR ALL.

He NEEDED Cas to show up and find him. He didn’t tell Cas about his deal, and Sam kept pressuring Dean to talk about the deal, but Dean just kept saying “later.” As if there was really gonna be a “later” for Dean.

He’s a man of his word, and I’m certain his intention was live up to the bargain HE CHOSE TO MAKE with Billie.

Notice he couldn’t even look Cas in the eye when they found him in the woods. Dean. Couldn’t look CAS in the eye.

(how many fanfics have centered around the fact that Dean stares back at Cas just as much as Cas stares at him? and here he can’t even meet Cas’s eyes? AT ALL?! AFTER SIX WEEKS OF FEAR AND ISOLATION AND WORRY AND SADNESS AND ANGST?!)

Because Dean knows this is it. This is the end. The looks on his face there are of a broken man.

And then Dean sees Mary. One person he neither expected to see, nor had any idea how to deal with in that situation. I think HER presence there is what made him hesitant when Billie showed up to collect her Winchester.

In the car, when the clock struck midnight, Sam called “It’s time.”

Dean was sitting IN THE FREAKING BACK SEAT. WITH CAS.

At Sam’s statement, Dean sneaks a heartbreaking glance at Cas, who slowly understands that Dean has Done Something Terrible in order to have escaped that prison. The look Cas gives him is even more heartbreaking. Dean can’t even bear it, and so looks away... (borrowed from @k-vichan‘s post here)

Okay...

The one variable Dean wasn’t counting on was MARY being there. Because she stepped in front of the bullet that he’d intended to take himself. Her mere PRESENCE there added about 10 layers of PROBLEMATIC for Dean, because he could live up to the deal he’d made and say his goodbyes to Sam and Cas... they’ve lived that scene before... but Mary’s presence was a wild card. Her presence was a spanner in the works, a deviation from what Dean thought was The Perfect Plan.

Dean had NO IDEA what Cas had been suffering through in his absence. He had NO IDEA that Cas would call Mary in for backup, because CAS couldn’t handle rescuing Dean alone. He’d been fucking up simple vampire hunts, because he’s been so depressed, isolated, and alone (just like Dean...). He couldn’t risk fucking up Dean and Sam’s rescue (because in Cas’s opinion, that’s all he was able to do.. mess things up and get in the way).

Dean also had NO IDEA that Cas and Mary would involve the BMoL (hello consequences of shady deals!).

Gah. I mean, there was just SO MUCH here. I should probably shut up.

So saying Dean did all of this just for Sammeh, because brodependency? Is essentially erasing the entire character of Dean Winchester, and the earth-shattering significance of everything that happened in this episode.

Because no. Just, no.

[furederiko]

Episode 5 finally puts the 'Kyu' in Kyuranger! OKyuuu?!

- Remember my complaint on how the show will take place on Earth for the time being? Turns out I'm not the only one thinking that way, because the Kyurangers themselves question why they need to 'liberate Earth'. Especially when there are so many other planets in the Galaxy. Champ, Hammy, Spada, and Garu think they should locate the last Kyuranger first (as in, our Scorpion, Stinger) before they even do that. Naga is siding with Commander Xiao, because there are plenty of Jark Matter on Earth. Looks like thanks to his work last week, Raptor sees Lucky in a new light, and asks for his opinion. Can't believe I'm saying this, but Lucky looking silent and ultra serious feels totally out of character! - So it's back on Earth again. Not surprising though, because last week's Malistrate Yumepakkun managed to escape unscathed after all. He won't be alone though, because Eridrone (that's the official romanization) has arrived with Stinger on the planet to... give Yumepakkun a new command. Huh? By the way, Commander Xiao really loves the Kyulette dance, eh? Anyways, new version of the Opening Sequence. Still not the final version though, because some scenes only add Raptor. So it's an 8 members sequence for now, with Aquila Pink standing next to Libra Gold. - Already, two kids are stealing the spotlight from this episode's away team. Meet Kotarou Sakuma (Shouta Taguchi) and little brother Jirou (Eiji Oofuji)! What's that? You're wondering why Kotarou is wearing a rather striking sky blue colored jacket, or how his family name screams the word 'Bear'? Same here. I mean, isn't that... TOO OBVIOUS? But let's ignore that for now, because what's important here, is that unlike the grownups, these kids want to rebel against Jark Matter. They even shout ironic speech like "Stop picking on the grownups!"... considering the way the parents prefer their children to be 'abused' last week. Someone needs to teach them better manners though, because they are addressing the Kyurangers as 'Ojisan' and 'Obasan' (Uncle/Old Man and Aunty/Old Woman). LOL. - Ouch! It takes only one arrow shower from Eridrone, and all 5 Kyurangers are knocked down. They might seem tough on the outside, but looks like they are not so much. No wonder they need to gather all 9 members before taking on a Menaster. Eridrone commands Stinger to kill the kids who are still resisting in their own futile way, but he makes one really odd move by saving them instead. He prefers using the brothers as leverage/hostage, to force the Kyurangers to surrender all their Kyu Globes. Hmmm... suspicious much? - Oh hey, I really like the fact that Lucky isn't just loud happy-go-lucky and loud, but also able to think logically. His reasoning that 'Stinger is good' make perfect sense. That scorpion Kyuranger could've easily killed Kotarou and Jirou on the spot. And not just them, he could also severely hurt Lucky, instead of just giving him a warning shot. Stinger's certainly planning something. As for our two captured kids, while the younger one looks generally dazed, the actor who plays Kotarou definitely has fine acting chops. You can see this whenever he conveys emotions! It's on a similar level to Stinger's actor. I suspect he's going to get big in the entertainment industry. Perhaps, the next Ryuunosuke Kamiki? - Well, as suspected from the preview, looks like the boys remind Stinger of his past and his own big brother too. A sort of parallel situation, which is the highlight of the episode. The two used to live happily in a home planet that looks more similar to Tatoine or Jakku than Planet Needle. At least until... big brother Scorpio betrayed his home planet, destroying it, and joined Jark Matter as their top assassin. But that should be expected from the actor who played Takatora, a.k.a Betrayed Melon in "Kamen Rider GAIM", right? I guess once you've become a big brother in Tokusatsu, there's no turning back... - My current theory is that he's actually Don Armage, which give the show the opportunity to pull off an interesting Darth Vader-esque reveal. Especially because there's going to be (Spoiler alert! Skip ahead to the next part if you're avoiding one) a certain shady themed Kyu Globe coming in the future. But let's leave it as a random wild guess for now. Hmmm... now that I observe much closer, the pendulum Stinger is carrying isn't colored Sky Blue after all. I think it's designed like a mini Earth's Globe or something. Coincidence? I doubt. I'm sure it'll play a vital role somewhere down the line. After all, it used to belong to Scorpio's right? Speaking of the devil, the scene with him burning his village, easily reminds me of the first act of "Star Wars: The Force Awakens". You know, the one where Finn ended up saving Poe Dameron? That's a fine little nod, right there. - All 8 Kyurangers shows up for the hostage exchange. No Kyulette dance is going to get any of them away this time, right? LOL. Unsurprisingly, Stinger refuses to follow Eridrone's command to kill the kids. That'd be child abuse, eh? Scorpio vs Sagitarius FTW! Lucky thinks his intuition that Stinger is a good guy is spot on, but Stinger doesn't waste time to correct that. "How is this lucky?", he says, because unsurprisingly, Stinger has always been a SPY sent by Commander Xiao all along. Something I've already suspected before. Gotta love Naga's instant reaction about it, though. After all, he too had previously suspected that Xiao already knew about Raptor. And now this! So LOL to that. - 9 Kyurangers transformation for the first time! What a glorious sight to behold. The team FINALLY lives up to the title. Seeing Scorpius Orange fighting together the others feels exciting. Also, a fun random trivia: this episode was originally aired on March 12th, which means 03.12, and 12 - 3 = 9! Coincidence much? Yeah, highly likely it was. But even so, still a fun mathematical tidbit. Am I right? - Admittedly, at first I feel a little confused to why Stinger reveals his secret to Eridrone so soon. He could've turn it around by catching him off guard with the element of surprise, right? But it's when the grownup Earthlings come out of hiding that I realize. In his own way, he's trying to make an example to them. Giving them hope and confidence, that they have 9 ultimate saviors on their back. Even if the dream of a galaxy free of Jark Matter's tyranny might be a little too big to pursue. I mean, not even Yumepakkun can gobble up one, right? - So yeah, with Yumepakkun unceremoniously kicked out of the picture, the fight is solely on Eridrone instead. I'm not quite sure how I feel with the idea of nine people hitting on one, but this fight scene is definitely thrilling! Everyone's showcasing their unique abilities to take down their first Menaster, and seriously, that 9 member finisher "All Star Crash!" looks wicked. What's not to love? - Mecha fight time! All 9 Voyagers are on the scene together this time. Kyuren-Oh takes on the enlarged Yumepakkun, while Scorpius, Taurus, Lupus, and Chamaeleon Voyager deals with Eridrone who has managed to escape on his spaceship. Space battle! But Yumepakkun doesn't even last 30 seconds! LOL. Two Kyuren-Oh combinations are used in this episode because the team swaps out position for the second battle. But they still perform an all star finisher "Kyuren-Oh! Super Meteor Break! Super Galaxy!" to wipe Eridrone away from the face of the galaxy. Yes, the Sagittarius Menaster is now history! Such a fleeting screentime... - The team decides to stick around on Earth, with arguably valid and rather-meta excuses. They understand that this planet has potentials, especially after they know brave people like Kotarou and Jirou exist on it. Probably due to the same intention, Stinger doesn't join the team in Orion, and proceeds to scout solo. Looks like Don Armage is hiding a secret on Earth, and he intends to discover it (after all, remember that pendulum?). Who knows, perhaps he might need to break the fourth wall while he's at it too? But don't forget. There's an unresolved conflict between him and Champ, as proven by the rivalry during the mecha fight. I hope the writers won't simply forget about this. But for what it's worth, at least the two are sharing spotlight in the updated Ending Sequence. Yes, it's officially a Complete Version now, right? The Final one... at least until additional members arrive. *grins*

Overall: Gaaawd, that was one really exciting episode! Quite possibly the best one so far. There weren't any new Kyu Globe debuting, but seeing all members fighting together in the same page was genuinely thrilling, wasn't it? It also introduced some key characters that we might see more in the next episodes. And with the team's origin story has been taken care of, basically the actual / real story starts now. Problem is (and I hope I'm just being overly dramatic here), the season has had a running streak of 5 continuous good-to-great episodes. And that certainly had set the bar quite high for the next episodes to live up to. I hope the show won't be running out of steam too fast, like what happened on the previous two seasons. Not to mention, I'm still concerned with the fact that the show will continue to take place on Earth, especially because there are still more than 40 episodes ahead of this one. I honestly don't want it to turn into a Gokaiger sequel, as much as I wholeheartedly love that season. But you know what? I'll be optimistic, and give it the benefit of doubt. Perhaps we'll be more lucky this time... Next week: New Menasters, and... Pegasus Dance Off?

Episode 05 Score: 8,4 out of 10

Visit THIS LINK to view a continuously updated listing of the Kyutama / Kyu Globes. Last Updated: March 07th, 2017 - Version 07. (WARNING: It might contain spoilers for future episodes)

All images are screencaptured from the series, provided by the FanSubber Over-Time. "Uchu Sentai Kyuranger" is produced by TOEI, and airs every Sunday on TV-Asahi. Credits and copyrights belong to their respective owners.