#(it was the autism

[raining-anonymously]

katie mitchell made me feel SO seen in 2021

[just-me-venting-cause-life-sucks]

What

WHAT?!

[lillianforest22]

Fellow autistic (or audhd ) (im audhd so either one)

Do you have an invisible audience is so how do you feel they present.

The other day I was streaming with my streaming partner and I made a comment and feeling like im alway in cemera. Almost like I have a 24/7 live stream on my life. Well they looked at me like they didn’t understand so I dropped it cause I could explain.

So I looked it up and learned it called an invisible Audience. Now sometimes I mask when I have the audience sometimes I don’t. But the way my unviable audience present to me is

1 fictional character that bring me comfort

2 and not super proud of this one due to parasocail realatioship with real people is a lot different then with fictional. But it like if I’ve been watching a streamer my idea of them will pop up in my day to day. Or if I have multiple not distinct types it almost feels like If I made it to the level on content creations to go to conventions to talk and it feel like in the back with a bunch of other better content creators.

3 just a twitch stream. Like I’ll be sitting and just feel like I have around 1000 viewers wich to me is just the invisible audience and it doent freak me out

But it annoys me because I though I had myself figure out to only realize this is just another thing caused by my autism

[inanimateinsanitymephone]

every time i see someone reblog an old post of mine i cry a little harder

[small-bambi]

Harrison Wood Hsiang

[chessb0r3d]

What I mean when I do not control the hyperfixation.

[macdenlover]

it came to my realization that 99% of my fandom related headaches would be cured if everyone understood this

[gabrielora]

When I was younger and researching the autism diagnosis criteria and symptoms, I thought “oh I couldn’t POSSIBLY be autistic.” Because when I read “takes everything literally” I thought it literally meant EVERYTHING and I was like “I don’t take EVERYTHING literally, just most things!” And I just realized the other day that it didn’t actually mean EVERYTHING and that was an overstatement.

[callmemanatee]

The way most autism literature describes "literal interpretation" is often not at all similar to how I experience it. Teenage me even thought I couldn't be autistic because I've always been able to learn metaphors easily.

In fact, I love wordplay of all kinds. Teenage me was fascinated to learn all the types of figurative language there are in poetry and literature.

But paperwork and questionnaires are hard, because there's so much they don't state clearly. Or they don't leave room for enough nuance.

"List all the jobs you've had, with start and end dates." What if I don't remember the exact day or month? Is the year enough?

"Have you been suffering from blurred vision?" Well, if I take off my glasses the whole world is blurred, but I'm fairly sure that's not what the intake form at the optometrist is asking.

Or the infamous (and infuriatingly stereotypical) "Would you rather go to a library or a party?" What sort of party? Where? Who's there? I work at a library. Am I currently at the library for work or pleasure? Does it have a good collection?

It's not common figures of speech that confound me. It's ambiguity, in situations that aren't supposed to be ambiguous.

[bipolarmango]

My doctor and therapist: now with this autism + ADHD diagnosis you need to learn to unmask because masking all the time will make you burn out again and feel like shit

Other people: well it's just interesting how after getting the diagnosis you suddenly start behaving like that I mean I'm not saying you're faking it's just funny how you suddenly cannot be normal like you were before

[youmegravity]

I need people to understand that sometimes autism is just this

[itsaspectrumcomic]

Sometimes it feels like everyone around me is speaking in a secret language and I'm the only one who doesn't know it.

[canineentity]

“Why’d you do that?” Please remember that I am using what I’ve seen in humans to mimic them

[victusinveritas]

[carrionhearted]

Sorry for infodumping about my special interest out of nowhere, you said a keyword and it activated my unskippable dialogue