#(it looked horribly fake tbh)

[sonknuxadow]

my honest reaction

[knightofleo]

[shivasdarknight]

so yeah, i havent watched either dawntrail trailer 🤷

idk im finding it kinda hard to get excited about it at the constant reminders that they fridged one of their best and relevant characters back in azys lla, the clumsy handling of the void, the rancidly misogynistic shit in pandae, the solely white examples for the new lighting engine, the telling lack of info regarding femhroths that just screams disinterest because women, how absolutely terrible this could go because No i Do Not want road to el dorado references because idc if you guys are endeared to it that shit was racist

like on a more serious note, how am i supposed to get excited about an expansion where our summer vacation is getting mixed in with a different nation's political affairs when we're mostly fantasy europeans (excluding the variable of the wol but even then most are white eorzeans) and tural is fantasy mesoamerica. how am i supposed to be excited about this touristy angle when tourism is a major facet of colonization, especially when it regards the cultures that this region is based in. so framing you getting mixed up in yet another rite of succession from a culture you - in all likelihood - are not affiliated with as a summer vacation is just. it's deeply uncomfortable and it's hard to feel excited about this - especially with their history, continued bullshit, and refusal to remove egregious stuff like the "new world" set or the far northern attire.

idk. i wanna be wrong, but it's hard to be excited when the continuation of stuff they're Saying they'll address is right in front of us. the au ra showcased were pasty with blond hair and im p sure blue eyes and it was raen, not xaela - are they really that allergic to anything darker than a light tan? locations gorgeous, but I still see gifs everywhere of meteor fighting that mamool'ja leader - what happened to portraying them as people and not as monsters to take down? i only know that mamool ja's station because i know who the mamool ja are and the significance of large, two-headed ones. to most, that looks like a run of the mill dungeon boss since there Is a mamool ja boss, and the framing is similar to any number of inhuman adversaries shown in previous trailers. but if they're doing better about cultural sensitivity, then why did they make a member of their indigenous stand-in group be the big enemy for meteor to showcase Viper combat against? i really hope that - contextually - it's not something bad, but out of context it really just looks like taking down a big reptile monster which isnt great when that's your indigenous stand-in that's been portrayed like SHIT since ARR and hasn't had the same redeeming grace as the majority tribes - because where the amalj'aa are characterized by military strength and the noble savage trope, the mamool ja are portrayed as spineless mercenaries and sexual creeps. if we're in the mamool ja reframing expac, why does the trailer showcase that.

god dammit. i want to be wrong!!! i want to be overreacting because this would suck if true but their history doesnt give much confidence that they'll do better, and their current actions - the tourism angle, the lack of info with femhroths, the lighting engine - arent much to be confident about either!!

i wanna be wrong so fucking badly but i dont trust this team as far as i can throw them.

[letskeepdriving]

x

[mywritersmind]

THE FAT MAN IN THE RED - LN4

summary : Lando Norris promised two hours of his night to wave to little ballerinas and have them whisper their wishes to him in a Santa costume. His night starts looking up when a woman his age lands on his lap.

listen up : no warnings tbh! suggestive jokes SORRY ITS SO SHORT I WAS GONNA WRITE A LOT BUT ITS ALREADY CHRISTMAS TO HAVE THIS

words : 692

⋆｡‧˚⋆

“Oh please! Come meet Santa!” My little sister Mari tugs on my hand. She��s in a little pink tutu and a slick back bun, her ballet shoes have been changed into her usual converse.

We’re at an after party/fundraiser for her ballet show, the kids were all surprised by a man dressed as santa. She was adorable, a tiny Clara!

Mari skips off with her friends as I turn to mine. Kat downs her drink, “I need another one. Too many kids around.” I laugh and clink her already empty champagne glass.

We walk off to the bar, looking up at the giant chandelier and sprawling stairways. This theater is beautiful, kids in costumes and glitter run around while the society of Monaco gossips and laughs in their presence.

We grab more champagne, smoothing out my dark plum dress and almost twisting an ankle with these silver heels my sister begged me to wear.

“Y/n!” Mari yells, hopping up and down, in line to meet the big man himself. Or… a knock off.

“Oh my.” Kat elbows me, “I’d let him slip down my chimney-” I scoff loudly and laugh, hitting her arm.

“What about that french boy you met?” I raise a brow, my eyes lingering on the man whose face is partially covered by a white wig and beard.

“Oh I see him.” She winks as I giggle, “Come on then, you must meet this cute santa!” I groan as she drags me to the back of the line, “I’ve heard whispers… he’s twenty six.” She whispers as I watch two F1 drivers walk past us.

“I am not sitting on his lap!” I laugh, shaking my head and sipping my drink, Kat grips my arm and pulls me to the front next to Mari.

“What are you asking for?” Mari asks me, clapping her little hands together and tapping her feet.

Her friends touches my dress, “This is so pretty!”

“I heard he’s famous.” One of the ballerinas behind us says just as I get pushed onto the little stand and an elf guides me.

He looks at me, all dressed up and in a whole fat suit. I can’t help but laugh as I get helped onto his lap. I honestly feel horribly awkward, “Sorry… my friend made me.”

His eyes are green, the kind of striking color that stops your thoughts. He tugs down his fake beard, exposing his face and smile.

A very attractive face and smile. “Don’t worry. Are you gonna make me do the voice?” He's got freckles and an accent.

I smile softly, “There’s a voice?”

“What are you asking for this christmas?” He says it in a deep santa like voice.

I laugh, “That’s good.”

“Why thank you…” I raise a brow at his trailing off, “I need a name to match the pretty face, and for the address of your gifts, I suppose.”

Oh he’s a flirt. “Y/n.” I nod, “You gonna make me call you santa?” His fingers brush the side of my hip.

“I’m not that into role playing…” He shakes his head and I spot a tiny dark curl by his ear, “Okay the elf’s are about to get mad. What would you like for Christmas, Y/n?”

He says my name, looking me dead in the eye. Shit I think I might be attracted to Santa.

I bite my lip, “How about, what time Santa gets off?”

His smile shifts into a smirk, “Christmas came early, I guess. Ten.”

He meets me in an empty hallway, Its almost hard to tell if it’s him because of his change in clothes.

He's in a black suit, bowtie and everything. He’s far more agreeable without the white hair.

In fact, the white is replaced with real curls. Dark curls cut into a nice mullet that suits his face. It was in fact a fat suit that I can now clearly see was horribly fake.

I have a sneaking suspicion that tonight is going to be extra interesting now. His hands go to his pockets, that smile on display again for me. “I’m Lando.”

[demonic0angel]

Another Anger management idea:

Jason is going through his own First Burn, but unlike Hamilton, he didn't do it. The evidence, though fake, is damning. Hopefully, Jason can get Vicki Vale to give up her sources easily, or there will be hell. He just wants his wife back.

(… did you want comfort, bc it’s only angst tbh. Also, I’m assuming that Jazz doesn’t have Shadow, because this would’ve been fixed so fast otherwise lmao)

Part 2, Part 3

Jazz didn’t turn to face him, as she just hugged her plushie, a little plush toy of Red Hood. She sat on their bed and just curled around the toy, her brilliant hair scattering over the sheets and covering her face.

“Jazz, please. Please listen to me. I don’t know how this was taken, but it isn’t real. I didn’t cheat,” Jason said, almost begging. He moved forward to be in front of her so she could face him, but she turned her head away, tucking her face into the plushie and clutching at it.

Not for the first time, he was horrifically jealous of the toy he had won for her.

“Princess, please. I love you,” he said urgently, “I love you so much.”

Jazz shook her head softly, and he could see a peek of her face through her curtain of hair, horribly blank and empty. She didn’t cry, she would not cry while he was here. She was strong like that, and hated showing weakness unless she felt safe. She hadn’t shown such strength in front of him for years.

“I know,” she said, her voice tiny.

It broke his heart in two.

Jason clenched his fists and tried to breathe.

Just a few days ago, Vicki Vale had released news of him cheating on Jazz with another woman. No matter how much he could deny it, the evidence was so damning that he had nothing to say. But he didn’t really have an excuse. He knew he hadn’t done it, but the evidence all pointed towards him.

Even his family were giving him odd looks. Only Jazz’s warnings had prevented her own siblings from brutally murdering him.

There was no alibi he could give, no witnesses to see where he was, nothing to show that he hadn’t done it.

But he really hadn’t done it! He knew, because he had been in the midst of a reconnaissance mission alone. But he had no excuses, because the video was so well done, the photos were so clear, and the information was so detailed that he couldn’t say a word.

“Jazz,” Jason said, his voice cracking as he felt the lump in his throat grow, “I didn’t do it. Please believe me. I promise, I didn’t cheat on you. I swear on my life. I love you, please.”

Jazz still didn’t face him. Her hands tightened on the doll and then she said slowly, “I need time to think. Can you call Dick and Dani please?”

Jason wanted to grab his guns and start shooting up Gotham, or better yet, sink the whole damn continent into the ocean. His rage and frustration was so strong that he almost felt blood leak up through his throat. He wanted to kill Vicki Vale more than ever, but if he did that now, it would only make him look more guilty.

“Okay,” he said comfortingly. He did not reach out to touch her. If he did, he knew she would’ve shut down further. “Do you want me to call Valerie too?”

Dick, Dani, and Valerie were often part of Jazz’s counsel. Dick and Dani would’ve been too nice to immediately leap to Jason cheating, but Valerie was ruthless enough to be a good voice of reason and if he offered, then maybe Jazz would think that he was being honest.

Jazz nodded silently and Jason immediately called them up as he moved to the kitchen to make the calls.

Dick agreed instantly and told him that he would come over as fast as possible. Dani was clearly disdainful of him, but tried to be polite and agreed the moment she knew that Jazz wanted her presence. Valerie cursed him out for a whole fifteen minutes before he could get a word in, but eventually agreed without hesitation when he asked.

Jason hung up the phone when he was done and buried his head in his hands as the soft sounds of Jazz crying alone in their bedroom filled his ears.

The urge to kill Vicki Vale grew more and more tempting.

He didn’t know why he was being targeted. Or how she had gotten such good falsified photos. Hell, he hadn’t even done anything in the last few weeks to deserve this.

He sat there in the kitchen, eyes clenched tight as he resisted the urge to go into the bedroom to pull his wife into his arms and hold her. He wanted to bury himself in Jazz’s hair, hold her tight to his chest, feel her heartbeat and her warmth, and settle her in his embrace as if they could somehow merge themselves into one.

Jason opened his eyes.

He knew what he had to do to clear his name.

He would have to find Vicki Vale’s sources and investigate for himself. He’d be damned if some hack reporter tore apart his blissful marriage with his wonderful wife. And god only knew what lengths Jason would go to for Jazz.

[amica-aenigmata-naboo]

Accident

David Howard Thornton x Y/N - drabble - 853 WC

Masterlist

Warnings: reader gets hurt on accident, actor reader, hospital, guilt, apologies, pretty fluffy tbh just watch out for the beginning because its Terrifier so ya know.... gore - ALSO, L/N just means last name

---------------------------------

You struggled against the sadistic clown above you. Blood covered you head to toe, your arms felt weak as you pushed against Art’s arms. He pressed the blade further, his strength outmatching yours. You begrudgingly grabbed the blade itself, blood dripping from your hands.You screamed as you felt the knife starting to press into your shoulder, the clown above laughing silently at your pain. The further the knife pressed the more you screamed, kicking and twisting underneath him to no avail as he straddled you. 

“Stop!” you said, your voice hoarse from screaming. Your hands finally slipped the knife through as your blood made it too slippery to hold. The knife plunged into your shoulder and you let out a real, gut wrenching scream.

“CUT!” yelled Damien as he rushed over to you.

You rolled to your side clutching your arm as you sobbed.

“Somebody fucking page medical now! Call 911!” Damien yelled, his hands hovering around you; wanting to help but not knowing how.

David jumped off you, sitting in shock next to you. He didn’t know what to do, he was absolutely shocked. That knife was supposed to be a prop knife but it was hard to distinguish between them, it was the prop masters job to make sure the real knives for show never got mixed up between real and fake. David watched as the puddle of real blood emanated from your shoulder. This horrible pit in his stomach formed and he felt absolutely awful. He snapped out of it when you stopped moving and your eyes fluttered closed. He tossed the knife away, moving to you quickly to check your pulse. He breathed a sigh of relief when he felt it. Strong but fast.

“They probably passed out from the pain…” Damien said as he held pressure around your wound, keeping the knife in place.

Medical arrived and took over before the EMT’s loaded you up on a stretcher and took you to the ambulance.

“What hospital?” David asked as they started an IV and put an oxygen mask over your mouth and nose.

“Lenox Hill, we gotta go.” said the EMT before slamming the doors shut. The sirens turned on and before he knew it you were gone.

Set was eerily quiet, “I… I didn’t… It was an accident…” David stuttered. He could see the sympathy on everyone's faces.

Damien clapped his hand on David’s shoulder, “I know. Go get cleaned up and go to the hospital. Were done for the day. I’ll look into it all, trust me, somebody's getting fired.”

David nodded sullenly. Hair and makeup was a quick removal, they moved especially quick knowing David would want to get to you ASAP. He took the ferry from Staten Island to Manhattan, the 25 minute ride having him nauseous at the thought of how much pain you were in. As soon as the ferry docked he pushed through the crowds and rushed towards the hospital. The receptionist could see his worried face.

“Y/N L/N they were brought in by ambulance,” he said quickly. 

“Fourth floor room 831, they’re in recovery. What is your relation to them, it’s only family visiting hours right now.” said the receptionist.

“Husband.” he said without hesitation.

“Alright, go on up. Elevators are around the corner.” she said, pointing.

David nodded before walking over and repeatedly pressing the elevator button. As soon as he arrived at your room he pushed his way in.

Your bright face smiled at him, you looked a little sleepy but that was all. “Hi baby.”

David stood in shock for a moment before shutting the door and walking over to the bed. “Honey I’m… I’m so sorry.” he said, his voice watery.

You held his face in your hands, “It was an accident. It was blunt enough that it only cut my muscle a tad, three inches deep, nothing more. No arteries or bones. Ten stitches and some pain killers and I’m good as new.” you moved your gown off your shoulder slightly, it was wrapped up but you just wanted to show him to show you were ok. 

“I’m so sorry.” he whispered, his hand coming to rest on top of yours.

“Think Damien will put that shot in the movie?” you asked with complete seriousness.

David laughed before kissing your hand. “I bet if you ask he will. That scream was something else.” 

You smiled, “I hope so. They said I can return to shooting in a few days, just have to take it easy. They’re getting my discharge paperwork ready as we speak.” 

“My perfect little scream queen. So dedicated.” he joked. 

You rolled your eyes before bringing him up to your face for a sweet kiss. You could feel how sorry he was. You kissed him over and over again sweetly.

“We should stop before your heart monitor alerts the nurses.” he said, both of you listening to the quickened beeping. 

You both laughed, your cheeks tinted with an embarrassed blush. He kissed over your neck a few times, making heat drip over your most sensitive areas. “Later.” he smiled deviously.

--------------------------

Naboo's Note:

Hello! I hope ya'll like the new addition of our favorite boy who plays our favorite clown! Idk how to really write for Art so send in a request if you have an idea, I'd appreciate it! I feel like David is so underwritten for fanfics so I might pump out a few more for him in the near future. Thank you for all the love and support! XOXOXOXOXOX!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[worriedvision]

You finally leave a toxic workplace - multiple characters

Gender neutral reader, going to do this with Wriothesley and Kinich. More of a comfort fic for myself than anything tbh lol! The jobs are more genshin related than irl tbh lmao!

-

Wriothesley:

You finally had enough of the mind-games you'd be subject to by your peers in the dress shop you worked in. Whenever you were trying to work yourself, nobody would trust you with their materials they'd bring for special commissions - your boyfriend being Wriothesley and all!

Your coworkers weren't much better, but they were different. They got worse after seeing your boyfriend come along with a packed lunch for you, which led to jealousy. How did you get such a hunk of a boyfriend that was also a doting lover? They weren't happy your romantic life was going well, but they'd put emphasis on you not being doting back - a statement they wouldn't know to be fake.

When more customers came in and everyone had to stay back, they'd hand it to you to cover for them all. Chiori, someone who ran a rival shop, walked in one day after seeing you clearly not doing well.

"Darling, you do know you don't sell bags right?" Chiori chastises, you tilting your head in confusion before gasping at the mirror Chiori holds up.

"You're worth more than your coworkers - unfortunately, the only one not seeing that is you." Chiori states. "For your sake, I'd leave this job of yours. While I don't have any openings, I'm sure there are other shops you can work in that will respect your time."

"...Thank you, Chiori." You smile weakly, feeling strangely empowered to have someone that wasn't your boyfriend telling you your own worth. "can I ask why you...?"

"Oh, your boyfriend told me he was thinking of threatening your boss with a criminal record. I figured this would get you out of a sticky mess."

"Ah, that makes sense." You chuckle. "... You're right. I'm exhausted after work, and I don't have the energy to indulge in anything. I don't get paid for overtime, and I cover for people with no thanks in return."

"Walk out with me, make a statement." Chiori nods, you agreeing as you leave your badge and apron behind, hearing the gasps from the few customers still waiting.

--

"...You finally left?" Wriothesley smiles, you nodding as you snuggle into his chest and inhale softly. He sighs, massaging the back of your head as he sits back in his chair. "Glad to hear it. You're practically working yourself to death there."

"I didn't even realise how big my eye bags were!" You laugh, Wriothesley tutting before wrapping his arms around you.

"You better enjoy some time away from work. You really ought to look after yourself, my love." Wriothesley chastises, waiting for a response before realising you were now softly snoring on his chest.

---

Kinich:

You worked as a collector of materials for people who weren't familiar with Natlan and its layout. You emphasised focus on quality and less pay, as you were new to that line of work and you had to sell yourself somehow. People knew you'd be the cheaper option, but they'd pressure you to spend excessive time and resources to get their materials collected.

Your boyfriend had given you lectures about this, but at first you thought he didn't know better than what worked for him. You knew from growing up you were to take every job you possibly could, not for your own good but rather for the good of your reputation. If you didn't grow a good reputation, you couldn't work with the decent clients.

Unfortunately, you got the horrible people that everyone else would ignore if they got the commission. They'd track your progress on the commission, keeping a close eye to make sure you weren't just getting the cheap stuff. And god forbid they caught you taking a lunch break in progress of their commission!

You actually got injured one time, and the person who commissioned you jumped out from a nearby bush.

"You aren't doing your job well enough! I specifically commissioned you out of pity, and you can't even collect this one. Simple. Request?" They tut, you trying to get your leg wedged out from between two rocks.

"The request isn't- ow - simple." You growl out.

"It really is! How else would you have accepted it with such a low reward?" The man laughs, still making no move to help you. "I won't be helping you out, it will be deducted from your paycheck otherwise!"

"...Fuck you." You grumble. "My leg is stuck between two rocks, and being the sociopath you are you're talking down to me. You specifically asked for this commissions spot." You keep going, the adrenaline from the accident leaving leading to you getting both a surge of pain and exhaustion.

"Oh, you have some balls talking to me like that. Do you know who I am?" The man laughs, pinching you to keep you awake.

Before he can continue, however, he gets yanked back with a grapple your boyfriend made. The man is shocked, and he goes to open his mouth only to see a very angry Kinich.

"We've had this problem before." He states, eyes cold as they drill into his soul. "I warned you before, but you never listen. I alerted the commissions guild of this in advance knowing something would go wrong. My partner is in agony because of you."

"I-I- can-"

"You were spying on them as well. I'm fairly certain that is also a crime - in addition to you physically abusing them." Kinich coldly continues. "Traveler, please take this man away."

The traveler does so, seemingly entirely clued in, as Kinich goes along to you.

"I'm exhausted. I want to go home." You cry, Kinich nodding before examining your leg. He grabs your leg, advising you this was going to hurt, before lifting your leg up so your ankle was at the gap before getting you free.

"This is a pretty nasty wound, you're incredibly lucky you didn't break anything." Kinich sighs, grabbing his kit to clean the wound.

"I want to sleep, is that okay?" You whimper. "You were right, people are taking advantage of me."

"Of course." Kinich nods. "I'll carry you to the tent after I patch you up. I'll stay by your side." Kinich smiles.

"Yeah, so will I!" Ajaw cackles. "Even I would take better care of you than that guy! The audacity, not even killing you to end your suffering." Ajaw ends, you and Kinich looking over confused.

"... That was surprisingly nice of you." Kinich nods. "I appreciate the sentiment, and I'm sure _ does as well."

[theresa-thegalwhocriedrizz]

new byler gate alert!!!!!

(miniongate master post)

tw: i’ve got super bad grammar pls ignore it

may i introduce to u..! MINIONGATE!!!!!! the theory that ive just invented that mike wheeler and will byers are actually the henchmen of the so loved gru from the despicable me franchise!!! why do i think this? well, well, well, let me tell u!

first of all, their colors.

wowza!!! blue and yellow!!!! also for the fake minions fans, in minions the rise of gru our beloved kevin, bob and stuart fly to california (the west). blue and yellow meted in the west! whoopie!!!!!!!!!!

ok ok sooo second, minions r actually supa gay🤓gear me out!!!! there’s actually so many scenes where there are minions kissing or showing affection to each other (it’s very heart warming tbh) ei:

awwww🥺

anywho. third! so there’s this:

the minions r only stupid boys!!! mike and will believe it or not r boys also they’re stupid. visual aide⬇️⬇️⬇️

so, we’ve gone over why i think mike and will are minions. ‘now how does this relate to them smooching in the next season???’ u might be asking. well, i’m glad u asked!

alright, picture this. it’s the finale, right? everyone’s fighting whatever big bad there is, and will is being vecnaed (vecnaned? vecnaeded? vecneed???) or something. mike is by his side trying to break him out of the trance yk. vecna’s giving will all them horrible sad memories and wills like, “wa wah😭😭ily mike😭waaa i’m gay😢”. but then!!!! vecna shows will a memory that he doesn’t memeber, and will’s all confused. the memory is a minion with a bowlcut looking at a cute minion, and vecna does his scary voice over and he’s like, “mwaha😈😈😈hey bowlcut, do u ember this? heh”. and will’s like “who the flip re these minions???” vecna countinues his spooky voiceover “hah lmao stupid gay boy can’t even rember anything🤣ugh dumbo, this is when u lived with gru and michealminion😈” and then will stared remebeiing EVERYTHING!!! he membered when he was a minion and he kissed mikeminion🫢and when he helped steal the moon and doctor nefario died💔and all his other minion memories. AND THEN HE STARTED SHIMMERING😯😯😯and mike was like “erm what the sigma” so will did one of those magical girl transformations

this except it’s will byers turning into a minion. so now will is a minion, and mike is like “will why ru a minion🧐” and will catches him up on all the minion lore! and mike transforms into a minion as well. and theyre like woohoo we’re minions now, then they rember that vecans still being spooky. so they go in upside down using their minion powers. so they show up and r like “haha vecna henry 1 ur sooo ugly and stinky we dont like u😡” then mike and will use their epic gay minion powers and vecna dies🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🥳🥳🥳🥳🤩🤩🥳🥳🤩yippee! and now vecna is dead for ever! so u know what that means😏then byler gyat freaky🙁but not supa freaky they just kissed bcuz theyre 14-15 and some ppl needa get a grip🤗🤗also chappell roan started playing🫢and everything thing was right in the world cuz byler is canon!!!!!

anyways!!! thanks for reading!!!!!! let me know any of ur thoughts, theories, opinions on miniongate!!!! peace out

(⬆️art by @cmnzoq )

[trevorsgodmother]

𝓟𝓪𝓼𝓼 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓼𝓪𝓵𝓽 𝓭𝓪𝓭𝓭𝔂 (C.S ⭐️)

☞ Masterlist Warnings: Mentions of the word 'daddy' (throws up), swearing, Chris being an idiot, nothing else tbh POV: First person (reader) Summary: Chris, your boyfriend, is having dinner with your family for the first time. But a small request turns things awkward...

After the introductions, we all sit down at the table. Me, Chris, my older brother, and my parents. It had been nerve wracking for both of us, especially me. I'd been scared of Chris meeting my dad, since the latter is protective and doesn't take bullshit. Chris is a fairly goofy guy, but he managed to tone it down for this evening.

At least, I thought.

Everything is going good, the food’s warm, conversation’s flowing, and it’s a generally comfortable atmosphere. Until I think about my food too hard. While my brother’s chatting about hockey with Chris, my taste buds alert my brain of something missing.

Salt. I look around the table until my eye catches the green shaker, situated between the plates of my dad and my boyfriend. It’s too far out of my reach, so I innocently call out.

“Pass the salt daddy?”

In the moment right after, I realise my mistake. Oh shit-

My dad reaches for the salt. And so does Chris. The young boy freezes, but it’s too late to act like he was stretching. My dad freezes too, his gaze narrowing.

My brother’s jaw drops. My mum looks shocked. All because of one, stupidly sexualised word (FOR NO REASON). Chris laughs awkwardly, trying to play it off. “Hehe, uh, funny joke, right?” I mentally grab his collar and shake some sense into him. That idiot.

I fake laugh too, smacking his arm hard enough that he realises his acting is horrible. My dad does not think it’s a funny joke.

His voice is cold as he replies. “Now tell me son, why did you go for the salt shaker when she asked me to grab it?” Chris swallows, looking for me for help. But after the initial surprise, I was struggling to hold back a laugh. My brother was snorting into his sleeve. Even my mother was giggling a little. Chris looked hopeless, getting flamed by this older man while his family were all finding this hilarious.

“He didn’t mean it dad, c’mon. It was a joke” Chris eagerly nods, agreeing with me. “Yes sir- it was a joke, sorry-”

My dad sized the poor boy up for a torturous amount of time. The clock ticking on the wall fills the deafening silence as we listen for his ‘verdict’.

He waits, one minute, two, before shaking his head and sighing.

“You kids and your weird humour. I’m too old for this”

Chris immediately relaxes, an easy grin spreading across his face, before my father’s stern expression makes him sit up.

“Uh, you don’t seem old sir. You could fool me” I shoot an incredulous look at him. What the fuck was he saying?

He only gets a blank reaction from my dad. Before he breaks out into a roaring laugh, shattering the tension.

“You’re just like me when I was your age boy” Chris perks up, but his face lights up as my dad adds, with a somewhat disturbed look.

“Except I didn’t make my girlfriend call me daddy”

A/N: Guys I have no motivation to finish my Matt fic yet, so here you go! I thought about this idea one night and started laughing. Lil goofy lowk Also it’s 11pm, so ignore any grammar mistakes please and thank yew ✨ TL: @hearts4werka @stvrnzcherries @spaghetti835928383 @pvssychicken @snowysosturn @sturnmeovr Dividers by @bernardsbendystraws <3 -Ropitipop 👁👅👁

[lastoneout]

Honestly, I don't say it often bcs I know how this site is but I really do think for a lot of survivors of abuse, especially abuse that went on for years and years, sometimes the message "it's not your fault, you didn't do anything wrong/to deserve this" while ABSOLUTELY TRUE* isn't actually super helpful. For a lot of us there's a LOT of guilt tied into it, and even if things were truly out of our hands we will not be able to accept that we are truly blameless, at least not at first, and maybe for some of us not ever. So being told "no dw you didn't do anything wrong <3 <3 you're innocent" feels...idk like some toxic positivity style lies. It doesn't make me feel better, because I still do feel like there were things that happened that were my fault, that were in my control, even an ethicist or god or whoever could look me dead in the eyes, weigh all the facts, and assure me of my complete innocence, and I still wouldn't believe it. (Tbh, you have to be ready to forgive yourself and trying to force it early does more harm than good.)

And I occasionally see movies and shows and stuff get roasted all to hell for having the audacity to go with a different message, to offer abused characters not a platitude about how they are innocent and should forgive themselves asap, but instead say "so what if it was your fault? so what if you fucked up? you're still alive, you still have time, your mistakes(or perceived mistakes) don't make you irredeemable scum who deserves to suffer, it's okay that you fucked up, what matters is what you do next, and even if the horrible thing was your fault in one way or another or you did actually hurt people, you still did NOT deserve to be hurt in turn" because people think that is like, admitting that the person in question is at fault when they almost always aren't....but as an actual survior, I'm sorry, you can tell me I'm innocent till the cows come home and I won't believe it. What I need to hear is that even if it was my fault I didn't deserve to be treated that way. I still deserve help. I deserve to keep going. I am not forever stained by my mistakes. I deserve a future free from this pain.

I think before we look at things in this like...grand moral way where we try to make sure we're sending the most Correct and Healthy Message Possible, sometimes it's worth asking if that message is actually the one the people it's about need to hear. I'm sure for some people it is very freeing to be told it's not their fault, but that kind of message does not resonate with me. And I, as well as people like me, deserve to expirience stories about us that are cathartic, that resonate, that make us feel seen, and to not have to see everyone and their mom throw a fit because what helps us is "problematic".

Anyway this has been mulling around in my head for a while and I def have a lot more to say about the way guilt manifests in trauma born of abuse, but yeah I just feel like this is something that should be talked about when we bring up abuse narratives and how well written they are and if they send the Correct Message, because the "Correct Message" is never going to be the same for everyone. And that's true of ANY demographic you could choose to represent!

Like some disabled people might enjoy the "magically healed" trope while others find it offensive. Some trans people like stories where transitioning is easy as drinking a potion or getting a fancy futuristic surgery and some find that that trivializes their struggles. Some queer people want stories where there's just no homophobia at all, others find that a world without it feels fake and patronizing. Some women do want to read stories about how keeping hearth and home is noble and empowering and others want read about women who have other jobs and never have kids or get married. For some of us "you're beautiful no matter what" is lovely and some of us just want to be told being fat and hairy and having acne and scars and shit is normal and fine. Or, like the last post I reblogged says, sometimes "you're not a burden" doesn't hit as well as "being a burden isn't a bad thing". No one type of representation is ever going to work for everyone, and that doesn't mean one type of rep is objectively wrong and the other is objectively right.

So yeah, the next time you find yourself angry because you think a story is sending the wrong message about a marginalized or harmed group, maybe stop for a second to ask yourself if it's actually harmful...or if you're not the person who the story is speaking to, and if there's someone it is talking to who desperately needs to hear what it has to say.

(*Getting ahead of this now: Do not put words in my mouth. I am not saying that any abused person in any way deserved their abuse or was at fault for it happening, that is not up for debate. The fault is always in the hands of the person who chose to hurt them. I'm just saying it's nuanced and complicated and guilt is a huge fucking issue that survivors have to deal with all the time and it's not wrong to acknowledge that some of us are always going to feel like we did something wrong and not be eased by being told otherwise even if the person saying it is 100% correct and/or means well. I do not have time for people who are going to willfully misinterpret me. You will be blocked.)

[t4tlottie]

fine..... I'll do it myself.....

vampire!nat who exclusively wants to feed from you (wdym you don't make enough blood to sustain her... 😔)

vampire!nat who feeds on animal blood so that she doesn't have to feed from anyone that isn't you

vampire!nat who is TERRIFIED of hurting you while feeding

vampire!nat who BEGS to take little "snacks" during the day to give her a boost (claims it's like a shot of espresso)

vampire!nat who doesn't sleep anymore since she's a vampire but she like "trances" or whatever and basically just turns into a lifeless corpse when she does (it was really weird at first but you get used to it. still weird to cuddle a lifeless body tho)

vampire!nat who is always FREEZING and uses you as her personal body heater

-

vampire!nat who looks hot asf when she got blood (your blood) dripping from her fangs

vampire!nat who likes to bite you during "sexy fun times"

vampire!nat who made you realize you got a blood kink (inevitable after dating a vampire long enough tbf)

OKAY angst where vampire nat only feeds from animals for like WEEKS straight after she does accidentally hurt you :( you just passed out from the blood loss, nothing too serious, but she still felt horrible :(( she almost cries every time she sees the big bruise on your neck and you have to reassure her that it was kinda your fault!! you didn't drink enough water like she told you to beforehand and she didn't hurt you at all. thinking of soft sex with her where you convince her to feed from you again, telling her over and over again that you trust her while you stroke her hair and she's crying a bit while biting into you GAHHHH. nat peering up at you shyly with your blood dripping from her mouth, asking if you're alright for the 40th time @__@

i know she fakes being weak sometimes just to take a little bite out of you.... and she's horrible at faking but you pretend to play along :D

vampire!nat who has a blood vial necklace on her at all times. honestly she could take a shot out of that if she needed and could also just zip to wherever you are and catch some more blood in for next time, but she likes feeling it against her chest.

vampire!nat who can transform into a bat!!!!!!!! she's def pranked you by sleeping over you in her bat form and laughed so hard she transformed back and fell on you :/ vampire!nat who, in her bat form, sneaks into your backpack and likes to go on bus rides with you like she's your little dog. or just to scare the fuck out of you when you unzip your bag and see her fly out 😭

vampire!nat who just stares at you while she 'sleeps' with you. moving a fallen eyelash out of your eye or tracing your lips with her finger.... she likes to think about you when you sleep with her. just about anything tbh. about what she wants to do with you in the future, about how you made her blush so hard that her pale skin actually flushed a light red for once, or about how she wants to court you :(

[obitoslover]

Death Note x Naruto has taken over my brain these days, so I did another au (inspired by a friend's psychoanalysis on Madara who made me like bipolar Madara hc)

Basically, Madara take Light Yagami's place as Kira, killing criminals. One of the differences, tho, is that he doesn't wanna be acknowledged, since it would make his objective a lot harder

Kaguya is the shinigami, yey!! Should've I used Black Zetsu due to his nonhuman look? Yes, but I wanted to make Kaguya with a Samara from The Ring aspect + Kaguya is the mind behind Zetsu in anime + I like her better = Kaguya won

ANYWAY!!! Some lore points I have for now:

— Izuna takes Misa's place, bc he wants to help his brother getting rid of all the bad people; he seems somewhat more excited/engaged for this whole "new world's god" thing than Madara tho

Unlike Misa, he doesn't have the shinigami eyes, since Madara doesn't want his younger brother to take half of his lifespan away, especially when he already got it. Idk if Izuna has his own death note, so maybe he helps his bro in some other way (like the Oracle from DC vibes?)

— Madara wrote Tobirama's name as a "test" to see if the notebook was true. Why? Because that's his brother's ex who broke up horribly with him so why not (they realized they don't know where he is, so they couldn't possibly know if it work. two dummies)

— L is Tobirama... in the sense of who's against Kira, not who's the detective

"But he's dead way before Kira's mass killing was recognized as someone's doing, how is that possible??" you may ask, and I say

"Tobirama" is a fake name

See, l like mad scientist Tobirama and it's variations, so I needed to put this here. He's a criminal who never got caught, a really secretive one about his personal life, so most of the time he's using a fake identity to prevent people to keep a track on him; so it means Izuna didn't know his actual name and gave the fake one to Madara

"Tobirama" was one of the first people to realize all those deaths were induced by someone, so, in order to prevent his possible death in case he's caught, he started to hunt who could be Kira

— "Tobirama" is Hashirama's brother. He dyes his hair and wear eye contacts (and other things too like, idk, different clothing, some light make up to give a different look on his face) while undercover, so he can take a double life

You can't even imagine Madara's surprise when he finally realize his friend's brother and "Tobirama" are the same person

(I wanna make Itama = Tobirama, with his white hair + red eyes combo being his undercover while he has natural colors in his actual appearance, but I'm still deciding how confusing and cool it could be)

— Near and Mello aren't related to L in the slightest. I haven't decided yet who they could be (Maybe Kakashi=Near and Obito=Mello), but they would still be really close to the government and be, indeed, detective prodigies

Maybe they're chasing Kira at the same time as L? If I decide so, it would make Madara's life way harder, since it's both a criminal (with other criminals' contacts and accessibilities) and the government (two people above it, tbh) against him..... nah, he'd be caught way earlier, I need fun

[bookyeom]

Seventeen Fic Recs (September 2023)

Hello everyone! I wanted to make an official post to share some of my favourite Seventeen x Reader fics that I’ve read lately, or ones that have continued to stay on my mind. I guarantee I’m going to miss a bunch of them because there are so many talented people on this website, but I plan to make another one of these soon!

(Also, a side plug for my own fics here. I’ve finally gotten around to posting some of my writing, and hope to continue, so if you want to have a browse and reblog/message me your thoughts, please feel free!)

@wqnwoos first up, I wanted to shoutout Hana for all of her writing. I’m going to include some of my favourite recent drabbles, but I literally love all of them, so please go read everything over on her blog. A couple of my faves here, here, here, here and here.

Secondly, I need to shoutout @savventeen: Savv!!! You know how I feel about your writing, and I need to include my favourite Dino fic of all time immediately or I WILL burst: Got My Heart in My Feet (Cause They Lead Me to You) aka one of my favourite fics in any fandom ever. I cannot express how many times I have read this.

The rest below the cut:

Promise Ring by @lovelyhan - Dino x Reader, F2L royalty/fantasy au aka two of my all time favourite things put together, smut at the end

The Physics of Love by @cheolism - As a DK bias, I have such a hard time finding DK fics, but this one… This is it. This is the one. DK x Reader, F2L (god, I really have a type)

Coming home by @fairyhaos - DK x Reader, Established Relationship

Under the Collar by @miraclewoozi - Go read this fic immediately, but don’t talk to me about it unless you want me to cry. DK x Reader, F2??

What? Like It’s Hard? By @starsstuddedsky - THEE Hoshy fic. Hoshi x Reader, F2L/idiots-to-lovers, Star I love ur mind

These Endless Summer Nights by @blossom-hwa - One of my favourite Hoshi x Reader fics. Absolutely stunning. S2L, smut if i recall correctly, summer romance

2.22AM by @secndlife - Hoshi x Reader, F2??

Burn, Palace, Burn by @fairyhaos - So this was written as part of the 2k celebration (!!!) and I loved it so much, but everything Yena writes is iconic tbh so go read them all. This one in particular is a Jeonghan x Reader historical/fantasy au and… hehehe. See for yourself

“I Know, But Don’t Say It” by @taetaespeaches - Jeonghan x Reader, angst, ouchie, so good.

Heart is Full of Fairy Lights by @savventeen - Another one by the inimitable Savv. Joshua x Reader, Friends/Roomates-to-Lovers

Golden Hour by @dkfile - Joshua x Reader, F2L

you are my kingdom by @fairyhaos - Jun x Reader, royalty au

Other People’s Weddings by @neoneun-au - Seungcheol x Reader. Fake dating. Help

You say the stupidest (sweetest) things by @savventeen - Seungkwan x Reader, F2L. Look, I know this wasn’t solely written for me, but it was requested by me, therefore I claim this as mine and Seungkwan’s life story. xoxo

On Idiocy, Bugs and the Prospect Of Forever by @wqnwoos - Vernon x Reader, F2L, one of my favourite lil Vernon fics ever tbh

Every Page is Empty by @neoneun-au - Another one of my favourite fics, ever. Vernon x Reader, F2L

Sure by @beahae - Why am I just now realizing that all of my favourite fics are Vernon fics? No comment… Anyway! THIS FIC!!!!!!!!! Wow. WOW. Vernon x Reader, F2L, smut, absolutely stunning

Tidal by @eoieopda - Vernon x Reader, established relationship, smut (it’s just smut but it’s SO CUTE HELP)

Don’t Sweat It by @miraclewoozi - Aka the best Lee Jihoon fic ever written. Woozi x Reader, S2L, smut, I’m obsessed with them

The Spring to Your Smile by @wooahaes - This is a link to all the members’ parts of this series. Loved every single one of them! Genre changes based on member :)

All of @nonranghaes little drabbles hit deep (go read them all) but here and here are two faves!!

A/N: awful, horrible, terrible Hao, Wonwoo and Mingyu slander here. I am so disorganized and couldn’t find any of the fics I wanted to post, so they will be back in earnest in the next one, I swear it.

[athena-xox]

Changing the characters featured in each special without doing any research (it’s been like 2 weeks since I’ve proper watched eah).

True hearts day - chefs kiss it’s perfect

Thronecoming - I like the characters with their side plots but specifically for those going into the storybook of legends I would change blondie and cedar. Blondie would be at the game, it makes no sense why she was there (unless she followed them but she would have to be covering the game anyways so??) and cedar because I feel like they either should have focused more on her being able to lie or just cut her. I would replace them with 1 kitty because she could cover both the plot points that blondie n cedar bring (aka finding out where to go and how to get in) because I think definitely smth could be worked out with her going into the in between. And then I’m in between Ginger and Holly for the 8th girl. I feel like Ginger just because she’s important for spring unsprung so it would make sense to meet her earlier, but also then the focus would be less on raven + briars horrible destinies and on gingers. And I think that Hollys destiny makes a lot of sense for a quick little montage but then that brings the question on if it should be poppy instead or if the sbol they go into is a fake or not.

Spring unsprung - for the girls who get outfits from Lizzie I’m not going to switch them for Maddie and Kitty even tho it would make sense for Lizzie to make the outfits for them (but then again I’m pretty sure the og queen of hearts doesn’t even know who the Cheshire Cat + Mad Hatter r) so the only one I’ll switch is Holly. Just because I didn’t commit to her for the thronecoming arc and so I feel like she doesn’t really need to be there. I would switch her for Farrah (ik she didn’t exist yet but do I look like I give a fuck?) because in the diaries her cedar and Lizzie design together. And briar and cerise can stay because they’re featured and they are like main characters. The others in this special make sense tbh

Way Too Wonderland - ok yeah it makes sense for the 6 girls. The 3 wonderlandians who left pre curse that makes sense. Briar who is literally the catalyst for all these events. And the two main characters. If I could add someone I’d add cerise because her parents got married in wonderland, which could create an interesting plotline, and after spring unsprung her character was kinda discarded which is too bad. The others (the charmings + bunny and Alistair can stay too). Mm honestly I’d remove faybelle. It makes sense for her to be there just to establish her character before dragon games + epic winter but she wasn’t needed. Honestly could switch cerise with her.

Dragon Games - now here’s where I start to actually dislike the line up not just in a nitpicky way. Okay so off the top of my head the ones who compete in the dragons games are Melody, Lizzie, Poppy, Darling, Holly, Apple, Ashlynn, Maddie and Raven. I’m sorry what?! No briar?! Or cerise?! Immediately cutting Lizzie and Melody for those two. And I feel like Ashlynn could be replaced by Jillian, Cupid, Ramona or Nina. And then for those who go to the forest originally are Raven, Darling, Maddie, Ashlynn, Poppy, and Holly. Definitely adding Briar because that just makes this so much more interesting / briar’s rebel arc could have happened!! I’d either just add her to the existing group or if cut the O’Hair twins and also add cerise because cerise is close friends with raven and is seen with darling lots.

Epic Winter - so if you know me yk were cutting rosabella. I’m very tempted to just add Lizzie but we will resist the temptation. I’ll definitely be changing this one a lot. So the crew is Briar, Faybelle, Ashlynn, Blondie, Rosabella, Daring and Crystal. Cutting Blondie & Daring and adding Poppy and Duchess. Okay that might not look like a big change but im changing who gets which arc. Those with flowers are now Briar, Rosa, Poppy and Crystal. Ashlynn is just there because she’s friends with Crystal not because of the flower. Faybelle is there for the same reason. Rosabella is just there because of her flower, of course she becomes friends and stuff but the whole ‘I can fix him’ thing is gone. Instead this is poppy and duchess. Whether or not it’s seen as a ship or friendship Duchess is the one who needs redemption not Daring. Also I just found the blondie wanting a real story arc to be stupid

Forest Fest - I forgot this is considered a special? Is it considered a special? Anyways I think it’s fine I found it annoying how raven and dex had to be the ones to save the girls it could literally be anyone else. I found Poppy kinda a random choice for blondie to take, like just for the hair?? Maybe Ginger instead because she also has a show and they could be going together.

Tbh I want to make another post with in depth analysis

[goddammitjosef]

For the otp question meme. Napalex. Every number except for 26.

(Is this evil behavior?)

fuck you im doing 26

NAPALEX HEADCANONS MASTERPOST WOOOO

Who is most affectionate?

Napoleon, he warms up to Alexander after a while and is very cuddly, pinches his ears when mad and sits on his lap a lot. Alexander thinks it's kind of weird.

Little spoon/Big spoon?

Napoleon is little spoon Alexander is big spoon.

Most common arguement?

Poland, this is canon btw... trading too. Literally anything atp but mostly Poland.

Favourite non-sexual activity?

Taking long walks, and arguing.

Who is most likely to care for the other?

Napoleon, he has to remind Alexander to do stuff.

What is their favourite feature of their partner?

Napoleon likes Alexander's hair, and his facial features, overall anything that makes him look like a greek god.

Alexander likes Napoleon's chub.

What's the first thing that changes when they realize they have feelings for the other?

Literally nothing they still hold grudges they just kiss now.

Nicknames? If so how did they originate?

I've been on this hill since day one that Napoleon called Alexander "Alex" and Alexander thought it was weird but now Napoleon calls him Sasha.

Alexander calls Napoleon "Napoleon" to his face but Bonaparte behind his back cause he's a fake ass bitch.

Who worries the most?

ALEXANDER

Who remembers what the other orders at a resturant?

Alexander. Napoleon always orders chicken while Alexander tries ordering something different each time and usually doesn't like it.

Who tops?

COMPLICATED QUESTION NOT EVEN ARISTOLE COULD ANSWER!!!!!

I always thought it would be Napoleon but looking back I know believe Alexander usually tops. Napoleon tops sometimes but everytime he does Alexander has a horrible time and fakes an orgasm. Napoleon is a lot better at handjobs tho which Alexander does enjoy but that's TMI.

Who initiates kisses?

Napoleon does, his are more rough and with tongue while Alexander likes small pecks.

Who reaches for the other's hand first?

Napoleon.

Who kisses the hardest.

As previously stated, Napoleon. He's an OK kisser.

Who wakes up first?

Napoleon.

Who wants to stay in bed a little longer?

Alexander.

Who says I love you first?

NAPOLEON.

Who leaves little notes in the others lunch.

I dont think this one applies here but i'll give it a shot.

If it's highschool AU then Napoleon leaves cringey notes in Alexanders lunch. Modern AU where they're adults then Alexander does, he just tells him to have a nice day. I imagine modern AU Alexander is a lot more loving than the real Alexander.

BTW I wanna flesh out a modern AU where Paul works in the Kremlin and Napoleon is a foreign exchange student in Russia because it was the cheapest place they'd take him. Also it'd be better for designs since most Russian secondary schools don't have uniforms.

Who tells their family/friends of their relationship?

LITERALLY NO ONE KNOWS. Execpt Fredrick William because he could tell.

What do their family/friends think of their relationship?

Ok breakdown if they DID know. Paul would kill Alexander, like actual death Ivan the Terrible and His Son. Catherine II would be more supportive. Elizabeth would just not care honestly, she thinks it's interesting it's with a man this time but she's been through him cheating through the hundredth time. But she would poke at him telling him "Why'd you seperate me and Varvara and now you're gay??" Josephine also doesnt care but she doesn't like how Napoleon keeps asking for her to roleplay as Alexander now. Pauline thinks it's kind of cute but calls them the f slur to her husband. Leticia would shoot Napoleon. Joseph thinks it's weird. Konstintine would make fun of Alexander and tell everyone.

Who is more likely to start dancing with the other?

Alexander this is canon.

Who cooks/is better at cooking?

Alexander...I think? Not too sure.

Who comes up with cheesy pick up lines?

NAPOLEON

Who whispers inappropriate things in the other's ear during sex?

Both of them tbh, very talkative i would say but Napoleon more than Alexander.

Who needs more assurance?

ALEXANDER.

What would be their theme song?

Already made a song analysis post but to sum it up.

Backstabber - Dresdon Dolls

The More You Ignore Me the Closer I Get - Morrissey

I like you - Morrissey

Let Me Kiss You - Morrissey

You've Got Everything Now - The Smiths.

Once More to See You - Mitski

I ALSO HAVE A PLAYLIST

Who would sing their child back to sleep?

Napoleon.

What do they do when they're away from eachother?

When are they not away from eachother?

One headcanon about this OTP that breaks your heart.

I hear people say Alexander offered Napoleon to stay with him instead of being at Elba and it's probably not true but...man...

ALSO ANYTHING ABOUT THEM AT THE END OF THEIR LIVES. JUST. HOW DID ALEXANDER FEEL ABOUT NAPOLEON'S DEATH I NEED TO KNOW I NEED TO KNOW I NEED TO

One headcanon about this OTP that mends it.

I don't know send me your headcanons. MY DMS ARE ALWAYS OPEN FOR ANYTHING BUT ESPECIALLY NAPALEX I LOVE MESSAGING PEOPLE LET'S TOUCH TIPS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!