#(im white middle class and middle aged if there was any doubt)

[red-riding]

Tolkien Elves Clothing Headcannons

Please read: These are only my headcanons, meaning my ideas and interpretations of what Tolkien's elves would have worn based on the text, my clothing knowledge, and imagination. I am in no way claiming this is how it should be. Also I own none of the photos used in this post. 

Also this is obnoxiously long and wordy, so if you skip to a section that interests you, I won't judge. I may have went ( A lot ) over bored ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. Also I just want to say thank you so much for all the support I got on the post asking if I should do this, I hope it lives up to everyones expectations. 

Sources

Okay so in going on this journey of research, I ran into an issue. What culture or cultures to base the clothes off of. My first thought was to have each elven group take ideas from different human cultures. Which makes sense to an extent.

I feel elves would all dress more similar than different across Tolkien’s universe. My reason for this is all the elves started out in the same place (the awakening) and were all exposed to the same things. I believe their clothing would be strongly influenced by the Valar due to Orome’s influence in the beginning and since elves are immortal this influence would not die out as generations go on (I talk about this in the trends section of this post).

If you look in human societies throughout history, they are often unified culturally, despite being far apart, by a religion and I'm applying this to elves. They would emulate the Valar’s clothing in my mind.

Okay now that I narrowed down that I want to use one culture mostly, what culture to pick? There honestly is no right answer to this I feel, but i'm going with European influence (Which is super general I know) since that is where the concept of elves originates from and Tolkien was English. Elves started making their way into stories and poetry in around the 1500s, so that gives me a general area and date to start forming my headcanon. I'm also going to take quite a lot of liberties and take influence from the Lord of the rings films, and general fantasy aesthetics as well to form these headcanons.

Fabrics

When talking about clothes the first place to start is what they are made of: the fabric. What kind of fabric would the elves use and have available to them. When coming up with this I considered two main things, One how durable the fabric is and two could elves make it.

I think durability would be extremely important to elves. According to the International textile association, the average regularly worn garment will last two to three years. Imagine how short of a time period that is to elves! This is why I believe durability would be extremely important to elves, they want something to last. especially the less wealthy elves because they can not afford constant new clothing.

I am only going to list clothing I think the elves could realistically make, so no polyester, plastic and chemical based fabrics.

Considering these two things I have come up with this list using this website as reference. 

Canvas

Cashmere 

Chenille 

Chiffon 

Cotton

Georgette (Silk variety) 

jersey (Silk and cotton variety) 

Leather and Animal Skins/furs 

Wool (And all its woven variants) 

Muslin 

Lace

Satin 

Silk (And all its differently woven Variants)

Taffeta 

Velvet 

Silhouette 

Note: We are looking at shape/Silhouette in this section, don't mind the colors or fabrics in my reference photos. 

So if you study fashion history and culture at all you know the silhouette is one of the defining things of a culture and era. This brings on the question of what the Silhouette for elves would be. I think elves would share one general silhouette with similarities between the male and female silhouettes but have differences as well. This also applies to elves of different lands. They may have the same general silhouette with slightly different things.  

For Elleths

For the common elleth silhouette I am going to say one thing SLEEVES. This is taking inspiration from both the LOTR movie and 1500s european paintings and fashion. long graceful sleeves is something I think would be an elven stable on formal/evening gowns. I feel there would be different styles of sleeves however the most common would be something like this. However I will say for casual work wear they would yield unhelpful. 

Another thing I feel most elleth dresses would have is a waist seam. This is one thing I strongly dislike about the LOTR movie dress, a majority of the dresses at their base looks like a modern slip dress or a night gown and im not a fan. I understand this was probably a stylistic choice to represent how refined and ellagent the elves were, but to me it just looks like an ill fitted fast fashion nightgown. Here is a link to a good example photo if you want to look. Almost no dresses until the last hundred years lacked a waist seam like this. Some cultures don't have a waist seam in woman clothing but will almost always have a belt like garnet if there is no seam. And I personally think waist seemed gowns, look far more elegant. Plus 1500s european gowns all had waist seams so we are adding a waist seam. 

Now the skirt, I feel it would be simple and more on the flat flowing side. No hoop skirts or bum roles for the elves. I do think in some gowns they may add some under lawyers to add volume and or warmth. 

For Ellons 

I actually really like the LOTR movies interruption of elven male robes for formal situations, Here is an example. I also think similar styles but shorter would be worn by either younger ellons or ellons wanting to branch out in a different style for a formal occasion. Here is an example. 

For General Elves 

I feel something both genders would share in their formal and non formal clothes is the use of capes in very versatile ways. The cape could have a function like keeping one warm, or just be purely for show and drastic flare as one descends from their throne *cough* Thranduil, Feanor *Cough*. Here are some examples: Example 1, Example 2, Example 3. 

Now onto the talk of practical clothing. No matter how graceful elves are they can not wear gowns and robes when training or horse back riding. I imagine simple slacks and tunics would be a common site among elves who do physical activities. What Legolas wears in the lord of the rings, is perfect I feel. Practical and rather similar to what humans wear. Here is the example. 

Colors

I feel the elves would have clothing of all colors overall. depending on a couple things. Elves' clothing colors would be different depending on the environment and what dyes they have available in it. As well as what colors function best in an environment, so a lot of greens.

I don't think elven royals would enforce any laws that limits what colors an elf can wear depending on class like most royals throughout human history have. I do feel that certain elven houses, or elves would take on certain color themes. For example I believe Feanor and his house would wear a whole lot of reds, and blacks. While Finarfin and his house would be wearing more blues, whites and silver.

I think plant based dyes would be the most common among elves, making their clothing fall more on earthy toned down colors, opposed to bright synthetic ones we are used to (See mood board above). I do think some brighter colors could be achieved by dying a garment multiple times or using a rarer material like minerals. However I feel majorly would be as I said earthy and natural.

Embellishments 

I believe elves would dabble in all forms of embellishments on their clothing, I mean they have so much time on their hands so why not? I think embroidery would probably be the most common, Little swirled designs on hems and such. Bead work probably would be reserved for more formal garments, due to it being done with crystals and gems and taking lots of time.

I think what designs elves created would mostly be inspired by nature. Different flowers, birds, and stars being the most common.

I think some elven royals would have robes glistened with sewed on diamonds and jewels, to draw attention to themselves and show status.

Environments 

(Note: The way I arranged this mood board above is by environment. So Beach/tropical first row, Temperate forest middle, and snowy cold place third row.)

I feel the main thing that will be changing between different environments and temperatures is what materials they use. Fur and wool lined cloaks and robes for cold places. Light breathable fabric, decorated with sea shells for tropical beach environments. And cotton and medium warmth clothing for forests. I also feel for hunting clothing elves in forests would wear green, and in snowy areas would wear white furs.

I believe elves would still maintain the same general silhouette in different areas (Go to the Silhouette section for more details) just adding on layers and warmer fabrics in colder places.

Trends

So this section does not get a mood bored because I could not think of what that would be.

Trends are something extremely prevalent throughout human culture, often decided by those in power: Celebrities nowadays and in the past royalty. I don't think elves would have trends like we do, for two main reasons.

Reason one is as I said, trends in the past were decided by royals and oftentimes when a new royal took throne fashions would change in their image. However elven rulers don't die of old age like humans, they live forever. making the constant change of trends not occur with each new ruler because there is not a new ruler often. When there is a new ruler it is most likely extremely tragic because that means the past ruler died, and the next  (Most likely a child of the old ruler ) would probably not want to cause a drastic change in clothing out of respect.

Reason two being age groups. Trends often times change as new age groups move into the prime of their life and old generations die out. However elves are immortal and don't die out. I have no doubt younger elves would dress somewhat differently but there would be no massive clothing changes, In silhouette or fabrics due to the older elves pushing back against it. As well as the elves wanting to continue emulating the Valar.

Everyone who asked to be tagged and I want to show this too: @psychostatic, @deep-space-elf, @bitter-sweet-farmgirl, @tiefliing, @animallover81, @softnessfrommyheart, @xmarchwarden-of-lothlorienx, @hardinginhightowns, @xirinofarvada, @gossip-girl-of-middle-earth, @brannonlasgalen, @most-random-blog-with-stuff, @aduialel, @a-dragon-under-the-stars, @proffyaffle, @estel-means-hope, @eldritch-gilthoniel, @tsuyu-sama, @lady-of-black-roses, @perhaps-iwilltry, @lady-latte, @allinwonderlands , @saviorsong, @entishramblings, @rowandor, @halfwaytheremama, @tran-khuetu​, @tolkien-fantasy​

[goldencuffs]

pen pal

Laurent starts writing emails to inmates in Marlas Penitentiary in his third year of university. The only reason he considers doing it at first is because of Auguste, who writes in one of his weekly emails in the middle of a long, sour summer: These emails help, you know. They keep me sane.

The sadness Laurent feels at reading that is immeasurable. He has to go for a run afterwards, because running is more productive than crying. If Laurent starts crying, he won’t do anything else for the rest of the day. Or week.

He keeps writing to Auguste every week, but as he does so, he feels like he could do more.

A few weeks later, Laurent tells Auguste about it over the phone. Laurent never lies, or keeps things from Auguste. The last time he did, he ruined Auguste’s life. 

Auguste, as usual, sounds tired over the phone, his voice scratchy and low. “I don’t think it’s a good idea.”

Laurent bites his lip, phone pressed against his cheek. He always makes his calls in his room, with the blinds drawn, the lights turned off, the door closed, so the room is washed in darkness. It’s the closest he’ll ever get to understanding how Auguste lives now. This is the only thing he doesn’t share with Auguste, because it would upset him deeply. Auguste always thinks he makes these calls in the open, with the sun beating down on him, the wind through his hair — the kind of life Auguste will never have.

Laurent is acquiescent. He says, “Okay.”

They talk about Laurent’s classes, the new neighbour who has really loud sex, and the cat Laurent is thinking of adopting. Auguste assures Laurent that he is eating and that no one has given him any trouble.

When the call ends, Laurent wants, desperately, to go out on a run. Talking to Auguste always does this to him; leaves him jittery, chest concaved, heart racing. The guilt swallows him. So Laurent punishes himself: he keeps himself locked into his room until the following morning.

Summer ends, but the heat in Marlas is relentless. Laurent and Auguste continue corresponding over email and phone, never talking about things that actually matter.

Laurent gets asked out on a date by Pierre, one of the men who lives in the neighbouring apartments. Laurent says no, and Pierre pushes him, hard, against the wall.

Laurent is left with a large bruise on his bicep. He’s fascinated by the colouring; the purple blends seamlessly in with the blue, which runs into the black. He can’t stop touching it all week, pressing his fingertips down on it until his eyes water.

Pierre is an affable man. He is always polite in the elevators, helps the elderly lady across the hall with her groceries and hosts barbeque parties in the communal area. He hadn’t seemed like the kind of man who couldn’t handle the word no. Then again, Uncle had been like that too.

On Friday, Laurent gets drunk for the first time in eight years.

The following day, he gets to talk to Auguste. Laurent is too hungover to hide his own despondence.

Auguste notices. Laurent doesn’t want to waste their ten minutes on something that will upset Auguste. He will eventually tell him; Laurent doesn’t like keeping secrets anymore.

As the call beeps, letting them know there’s only thirty seconds left, Auguste says. “Look, I’ve been thinking… I think it’d be nice if you sent some of the guys here some emails every now and then.”

Laurent perks up. “Really?”

“Yeah,” says Auguste, a smile in his voice. “But I’m going to send you a list of people, alright? I don’t want you emailing some creep.”

“Of course,” Laurent says, breathless. “Thank you. I love you.”

“I love —” The line cuts off.

Auguste’s email drops in his inbox on Tuesday at eleven am, like clockwork. In it, he includes the names of other inmates that are reasonable, suitable. There are five names. Laurent request the email IDs of all of them and sets about writing.

He only gets two responses. One is from a man named Alexon, who says he isn’t interested in corresponding right now, and the other is from Ancel, who writes fuck of. Im not a cherity progect.

Laurent writes Ancel another email, assuring him he’s not a charity project, but that goes unanswered.

Auguste laughs — or Laurent assumes he does because his email says LOL! — when he tells him about it.

So, Laurent goes on the Marlas Penitentiary website. Underneath the How to contact loved ones tab, there’s a link that says: Become a Penpal! Change a life!

Laurent clicks on it.

There are, surprisingly, hundreds of inmates, all of their pictures shown in neat, square boxes, alongside their name, age, sexuality and religion.

Laurent scrolls through dozens of them. He makes note of the younger ones, the ones he might be able to carry a conversation with. He also filters his search to life sentence because Laurent doesn’t want to give someone the opportunity to demand to see him in a few months.

Near the end, Laurent sees him.

It’s hard not to be captivated by his photo. He’s one of the few people smiling in it, and it was obviously taken outside of prison. A large man with curly, styled hair and dark eyes grins at him, teeth white and straight, cheek dimpled. He’s wearing a suit, arms crossed over his chest, arms bulging, shoulders wide. Laurent has never seen someone so attractive in his life — didn’t think people in the real world could look like this, let alone end up in prison.

His profile says: Vallis, Damianos Theomedes. 27. Bisexual. I’m bored in here. I need to keep myself sane. Send me something if you can actually keep a conversation going. Thank you for taking the time to read through this. Sorry I don’t seem nicer. I used to be.

It’s definitely… different. Laurent marks him as a maybe.

Later, Laurent asks Auguste if he knows anyone called Damianos in Marlas. Auguste responds with a, “Nope. And I know pretty much everyone here. So that’s not a good sign.”

“Why not?”

“It either means the dude is a complete recluse, or that he’s barred from most communal activities. Like I said, not a good sign.”

But something about Damianos’ profile keeps Laurent intrigued for the next several days.

He isn’t sure what it is; the picture, of someone who once led an obviously lavish style, or Damianos’ words, I need to keep myself sane, an echo of Auguste’s sentiments. Also the Thank you had been unusual, as well as the I used to be nicer. Laurent used to be nicer, too.

Laurent ends up Googling Damianos’ full name that night.

There are about twenty articles to sift through. All of them detail a violent, horrific crime, where Damianos murdered his own brother in his penthouse.

But even that doesn’t deter Laurent. He remembers how the media, the court, the lawyers had presented Auguste: as someone vicious, cold and calculated, the complete antithesis of how Auguste really was.

The articles about Auguste had been eerily similar. All of them mentioned how shocking it was that a doctor at the top of his game could senselessly murder his own uncle, but very few of them mentioned why Auguste had done it.

They made it out like Auguste was some bloodthirsty maniac, bent on revenge, and not a caring, protective older brother who had been horrified by their Uncle’s actions.

It’s why Laurent decides to give Damianos the benefit of the doubt. If he does end up being a creep, or a weirdo, then Laurent has the luxury of never speaking to him again. He’s not being stupid about this.

His request is fulfilled two days later. Damianos’ email ID is attached at the bottom.

Laurent sends his first email that afternoon.

[medical-magpie]

End of the year reading tag 🏷

Thanks to @bulletnotestudies for tagging me and for recommending so many good books to me!

Did you reach your reading goal this year ?

I did actually, I read 57 books this year which is more than I expected to read but being in lockdown at the beginning of the year really kickstarted me with escapism.

What are your top 3 books of the years ?

I do not have favourites, i love all my books equally but if you ask me to choose...

1) cemetery boys, Aiden Thomas, it’s great I love it it just makes me so warm inside I annoyed so many people (my mom and my crush) to translate the Spanish to me but it’s absolutely lovely

2) this is how you lose the time war, forgot the authors sorry, it’s a bit hard to read at times but once you’re sucked in you’re in and you’re mesmerised, the language is freaking amazing

3) ninth house, Leigh bardugo, murder mystery ? With ghosts? And a moody protagonist ? Sign me up I devoured that book and I really want the sequel

Have you read anything that you didn’t expect to really enjoy but absolutely did enjoy ?

Hard one cause I mostly read books that I expect to enjoy I spend enough time with barely enjoyable pharmacology classes to pick up books I’m meh about, but if I had to pick I was kinda unsure about Nos jours brûlés by laura nfasou because anticipation isn’t usually my jam but this one is great

And were there any books that you didn’t enjoy as much as you thought you would ?

Yes, unfortunately, I was completely let down by all for the game it didn’t vibe and sunstorm was also a let down

Did you reread any old favourite ?

Yes! I reread the first book of body finder, peak super natural romance from the 2010s doesn’t live up to the rest of time imo. Far from you by tess sharpe and it aged like fine wine even better than the first time around and I’m looking forward to reading her next novel the girls I’ve been. The summer I saved the world in 65 days, middle grade feel good book it was enjoyable enough, the whole manga Doubt by yoshiki tonogai, well technically only the first 2 were rereads, he has vastly improved since then I think, and the first cycle of Alone which is a french/belgian comic which happens to be a lot heavy than what I remembered still very enjoyable. And virals, what if the niece of temperance brennan from bones was a werewolf worked better in 2013. The Venice prophecy, I’m so mad the sequel got cancelled I livid..

Did you dnfed any book this years ?

Fragments by Ramona meisel which would have been a reread but I wasn’t in the mood for poetry.

Did you read anything outside of your preferred genres?

I tried to branch out a lot this year I’d say I mostly read historical fiction, mystery and romance, some good picks for me were, the cruel prince, the gilded ones in fantasy, fantasy is really fun actually.

What was your longest book?

Broadway limited volume 1, 598 pages, historical fiction set in New York in the late 1940s

Top 3 most anticipated releases of 2022

I decided to include translations of already published books because why not,

1) i kissed shara wheeler, I read one last stop and red white and royal blue this year and loved them both and now I get another with a mystery ? Im very excited

2) anatomy: a love story, it sounds spooky and I like spooks

3) six moi par an, sounds strange I’m into it

I’m gonna tag @jaeyuyoo and @frenchacademia if you want to participate

[highfunctioningflailgirl]

Whumptober 2021

Prompt #5: Broken nose

“Aramis, the Musketeer?”

“Yes?”

Aramis, on his way to the garrison with Porthos, turned around to see who was addressing him - and his head snapped back when a fist landed square in his face. He heard and felt a nasty crack. His vision burst into stars. He stumbled backwards, clutching his nose. Blood gushed through his fingers.

Somewhere, in the haze of pain, Porthos was yelling.

“Oi! What in the Queen’s name-“

A scuffle ensued. Aramis more heard than saw it - he was perilously close to fainting from shock and pain. Next to him, fists hit flesh, cloth tore and yelps and gasps from a voice that wasn’t Porthos’ told him that his friend had the upper hand on whoever had attacked him. When his vision cleared, it was already over: hunched over in the middle of the street, Aramis stood dripping blood into the dirt, circled by aghast Parisians, with Porthos standing over an unconscious man.

The big Musketeer snorted angrily, fists still clenched, shoulders squared. Then he turned to Aramis, his fierce expression melting into worry.

“Y’alright, Aramis?”

“Yeah,” Aramis croaked nasally, gingerly fingering his nose. To his dismay, it felt crooked and hurt like hell. “Or no, that is. He broke my nose.”

“Are you serious?”

Porthos stepped closer and put his hand under Aramis’ chin, carefully tilting his head back to inspect the damage. Aramis sniffed, immediately regretting it. Pain stabbed up his nose, and his mouth filled with a copper taste so thick, it made him nauseous.

“Hell’s bells,” Porthos muttered. “It is broken.”

Aramis blinked tears from his eyes.

“That bad?” he asked nervously.

“It’s kind of bent to one side.” Porthos looked at him with a curious expression, as if he was looking at an interesting insect he’d never seen before. “And it’s swelling up really fast.”

“Wonderful.”

Aramis moaned and spit a mouthful of blood into the street. Around them, a few people were still standing and staring, whispering, while the rest of onlookers had gone back to their business. This was Paris. Street brawls happened and were of little interest unless someone died.

“What are ye starin’ at?!” Porthos waved a big hand. “Move! There’s nothin’ to see here!”

While their audience dispersed, Aramis had fished a handkerchief out of his pocket and tried to staunch the blood. His beard was sticky with it, the front of his leather doublet splattered. Porthos, meanwhile, walked over to the unconscious attacker and shoved him with the tip of his boot. The man moaned a little, starting to come around.

“I s’ppose you know this man?”

Aramis squinted at the tall and overweight figure dressed in the practical but fashionable clothes of the Parisian middle class. The reddish beard and the golden signet ring on one of his hands left no doubt.

“Yes,” he said uncomfortably. “Yes, I know him.”

Porthos lowered his head to glower at Aramis. “And?”

Bleeding into his handkerchief, Aramis looked away. “I know his wife, too.”

Porthos threw his head back in exasperation. His accompanying eye roll was so pronounced, Aramis could practically hear it.

“Unbelievable,” Porthos muttered. And then, louder: “You’re unbelievable! One day, yer gonna get yourself killed! Haven’t you learned anything?!”

Embarrassed and fighting a headache, Aramis said nothing. Michèle was a sweet girl. Milky breasts, black curls, amber eyes and with a love for poetry and soldiers. Why did God put such beautiful, smart women in front of him when he didn’t want Aramis to be with them?

“Well, maybe this will teach you,” Porthos added darkly. “‘M not sure a lot of Paris women have a taste for a man with a smashed potato for a nose.”

Apprehensively, Aramis palpated his injured face. It didn’t feel like his anymore, his skin stretching as the swelling escalated, the tip of his nose off-center, his moustache caked in coagulating blood. Even if Aramis claimed he wasn’t vain, he knew it wasn’t the truth. He’d accepted his prettiness as a convenient gift from God, and he liked what he saw in the mirror when he trimmed his beard or adjusted his hat. It was an advantage he would not like to lose. Frankly, it scared him.

On the ground, Michèle’s husband groaned and began to make an effort at sitting up. One of his eyes was blackening.

“We should get outta here,” Porthos warned.

“Yes. Let’s go.”

XXX

They arrived at the garrison right after morning muster. The regiment had largely dispersed, turning to their daily duties. A few stragglers were still in the yard, casting curious glances when Porthos and Aramis passed through the arch. Against Aramis’ hopes, Captain Treville was among them. Face turning thunderous, he crossed his arms in front of his chest.

“Let me guess,” he said, taking in Aramis’ appearance. “It’s a little early for gambling, and Porthos looks unharmed, so it cannot have been a bar brawl. Since it’s morning, and it’s you,” - he pointed at Aramis and sniffed - “with the nosebleed and smelling of perfume, I’ll assume you ran into an admirer? As in: head first?”

His eyes were blazing and Aramis could swear he saw a wisp of the Captain’s thinning hair turn white.

“He got ‘im pretty bad, Cap’n,” Porthos came to Aramis’ defense. “Bashed ‘is nose right in.”

Some of the fury drained from Treville’s face.

“Let me see,” he said, eyebrows knitting to a frown.

Aramis took his hand with the balled-up handkerchief away from his face and revealed the whole extent of the damage.

Treville’s eyebrows rose.

“By God, it is broken.”

Aramis whimpered miserably.

“But you’re lucky, son,” Treville added. “A visitor arrived last night. Just in time to help you out, it seems.”

“Who?” Porthos asked.

“Go see for yourselves,” Treville said. “She’s in the infirmary.”

XXX

When they entered the garrison’s small infirmary, a woman was busy sorting through the medicine cabinet. She was wearing a coarse brown nun’s habit and turned around when she heard them, hazel eyes shining brightly out of a freckled, middle-aged face.

“Sister Marie!” Porthos’ joyful bellow turned into laughter. He crossed the room in four strides and enveloped the petite woman in a hug.

“What are you doing here?”

“Returning some of Athos’ books and bringing some medicines Aramis requested,” she answered cheerfully. Spotting Aramis, she added: “And it seems our Lord knew just when to send me.”

“You are, indeed, a gift sent from Heaven,” Aramis said, relieved. He’d been fearing he would have to attempt to set his nose himself.

“What happened?”

Sister Marie, pragmatic as ever, took Aramis by the shoulders and led him to a chair close to a window where the light was better.

Porthos scoffed. “I don’t think you want to know, Sister.”

The nun looked back and forth between the two Musketeers, her intelligent eyes boring into them. All of a sudden, Aramis felt very stupid.

“You don’t want to know,” he said guiltily.

She cocked her head. “Then I won’t ask. But this,” she pointed at Aramis’ nose,”needs to be set before the swelling gets any worse.”

“Do you think you can fix it?” Aramis asked with new hope.

Sister Marie gently probed his injured face, feeling for the break, and Aramis bit his lip while his eyes began to water again.

“Yes,” she finally stated. “Feels like a clean break. But we have to do it now and you must follow my instructions. Diligently.”

Aramis nodded. Of course he would if she saved him from looking like a monstrosity for the rest of his life. He hadn’t looked in a proper mirror yet, but on the way here, he’d seen his reflection in a window, and it was horrendous.

Sister Marie looked around the infirmary.

“We need cold water, a bowl, a towel, some wool and horsetail tincture. And my comfrey poultice from the cabinet. Thank the Lord I brought a large jar!“

Porthos nodded and fetched what was needed. Often enough, he’d helped Aramis take care of wounded comrades, and he knew his way around the infirmary. If Aramis hadn‘t been so anxious, dreading what was to come, he‘d be proud of him now.

Everything laid out within reach, Sister Marie pushed a bowl into Aramis‘ lap.

“Here,“ she said matter-of-factly. “Hold this. No need to ruin the floorboards, and it’ll keep your hands out of your face.”

Aramis grimaced.

“Are you ready?”

Taking a deep breath through his mouth, Aramis steeled himself. This would not be pretty.

“Yes. Do it.”

Porthos stepped behind him, holding his shoulders. Without hesitation, sister Marie clasped Aramis’ nose between her fingers and gave it a quick, hard wrench. Aramis, eyes widening in shock, felt the bone snap back into place. The pain was monumental. The middle of his face seemed to explode. Briefly, his vision blackened, and he bent low over the bowl in his hands, blood dripping into it, waiting to either throw up or pass out.

“Oh God..” he moaned.

Tears streamed down his cheeks, and waves of nausea washed over him. He felt a cold cloth on his forehead and then at the back of his neck.

“Deep breaths through your mouth, Aramis,” he heard Sister Marie say. “Deep and slow..”

A hand - Porthos’ or hers - was rubbing circles across his back. It helped. Or maybe the pain simply lessened as he sat there and breathed.

Finally, he was able to lift his head and let Sister Marie inspect her work.

“Is it straight?” he asked, trepidation and the swelling making his voice sound strange.

Sister Marie smiled triumphantly.

“Good as new! Once the swelling goes down, that is. And you’ll have to be very careful!”

Porthos slapped Aramis’ shoulder - gently..

“You lucky bastard!

Aramis sighed in relief.

He still had a few unpleasant minutes to suffer through: Sister Marie stuffed both his nostrils with wool dipped into horsetail tincture, and Aramis didn’t know what was worse - the stink or the pain. Afterwards, she had him sit in his chair for an eternity, carefully cooling his swollen face with cold cloths. When his nose at least stopped swelling and the bleeding had stopped, she moved him to one of the beds and applied a thick layer of comfrey poultice to the bridge of his nose that dried out into a hard, itchy crust.

“It’ll peel off, and we will have to reapply it once or twice a day, depending on how good you are at lying still.”

Porthos frowned at her.

“He’ll have to stay in bed?”

“For a few days, yes. I want the bone to start growing back together before you move around again,” the nun explained, giving Aramis an encouraging pat on the leg. “And you’ll have to be extremely careful afterwards. No musketeering for you for a few weeks, I’m afraid.”

Aramis didn’t care. In bed, his head aching and his nose feeling twice its normal size, he was tired and grateful. He knew he was in for a lecture from Treville, and once Athos found out- Aramis swallowed. Athos was going to kill him. And he’d be the target of endless teasing from d’Artagnan.

None of that mattered now. Thanks to Sister Marie, he would not have to live with a disfigured face, although he knew he would probably deserve it. He’d learned his lesson this time. The next time a married woman - any woman - turned her head to smile at him, he would look the other way.

“I can’t thank you enough,” he said to Sister Marie, meaning it with all his heart. “You are a godsend!”

The nun nodded, rolling her eyes in playful reprimand.

“And you are a sinner, Aramis of the King’s Musketeers.” She chuckled. “But it seems even God is a little in love with your handsome face.”

(You can also read and comment on this story on AO3:)

[vestige-of-hope]

Cresseida al-Bergama

im starting to make oc posts so i can make an official oc page starting with cresseida using this template by tumblr user jessaryss with some tweaks here and there. They said anyone can use it and personalize it for themselves so if y’all want to use this feel free to!

BASICS

Name: Cresseida al-Bergama 

Nicknames: She doesn’t like to go by any nicknames, just Cresseida, though close friends can call her Cress. Do grand titles count as nicknames? If so then Vestige, Champion, etc. etc.

Race: Redguard, demiprince of Clavicus Vile, though it’s lowkey, she’s human-passing

Age: 24 in the base game, 28 in Summerset, 30 right now (2020)

Pronouns: She/Her

Eyes: Dull gray without her soul, silver with her soul back

Hair: Curly and poofy, dark reddish brown

Skin: Brown with a lot of random freckles and moles

Height: 5′2 (tiny baby uwu)

General Physique: Very muscular especially arms and thighs and back. i wouldn’t say she’s skinny more sculpted really

Tattoos, War paints, Scars?: has a large gray scar right in the middle of her chest. the magic on mannimarco’s dagger was so corrupted it left a deep mark on her new body in addition to the old one, as if it was some dark and traumatic memory imprinted on her skin. she also has a dark daedric mark on her back that reveals her daedric background but her mom lied and told her it was just a birthmark lmao

About

Werewolf/Vampire?: none

Occupation: savior of tamriel

Guild Associations: mages guild, undaunted enclave, psijic order

Favored Weapon Class/Type: her whole life cresseida was trained in the art of sword and shield but as she started to not fear her magic and train and hone it she switched to a lightning staff. now she uses it exclusively but she still trains with the sword and has also trained to fight nonmagically with her staff

Favored School of Magic/Type: Dark magic, conjuration, destruction, specifically storm and lightning. she has persuasion abilities from clavicus vile: people tend to immediately trust her, feel calmer in her presence. she’s good at bargaining and persuading people to make a choice over the other. also like vile she has her own daedric companion, her clannifear

Heavy/Light/Medium Armor? Clothes?: despite being a mage ingame with light armor in reality she prefers heavy armor, though she slowly starts to wear some light armor as she trusts people more and gets less closed off

Place of Birth: Bergama

Place Where they were Raised: with a group of nomads led by her aunt and mother who travelled all over Hammerfell in caravans

Current Location: her current home is in Wayrest though she is getting slowly used to her plane of oblivion (ingame its the psijic manor on artaeum)

Education/Place of Study: was mostly educated by her mother and books, then after her family was killed she was raised by throne keeper  Farvad at Tu’whacca’s temple then trained for a bit with the sword masters at Leki’s Blade

Personal

Patron Deity (if any): Meridia, Sheogorath, Clavicus Vile (not really a patron but more of just a pain in the ass cause he’s her father)

Political Alliance (if any): Daggerfall Covenant

Strongest Skills: beating up daedric princes, fighting, magic

Strengths: very protective, will go to hell and back for the people she loves. kind despite her initial reluctance to help out, she’s not one to turn people away who need help. persuasive and she easily wins people over through her actions. levelheaded most of the time.

Weaknesses: prone to angry outbursts. sometimes she can lose control of her storms. reckless, she thinks she can’t be killed (again) and it causes her to rush headfirst into danger. always insists on handling things on her own. thinks too black and white, she is always learning how it’s not always this or that

Spouses? Flings? Lovers?: cresseida was never interested in love as she was too hellbent on getting revenge on those who killed her home and family, and later on stopping molag bal and mannimarco, and most of her life she refused to open up to anyone, secretly afraid of them getting taken from her. darien was one of her first friends, and the way she came to care so much about him caught her by surprise

Most difficult quest they’ve been on: taking on nocturnal after watching darien die right in front of her

Jail Time: none she’s a good noodle (unless you count coldharbour...?)

Largest Bounty Held: none. crime is wrong and she’ll kill you if she sees you doing it

How do they get gold?: selling random loot off her dead enemies and doing things for people

Are werebeings and vampires Vile Creatures or Simply Misunderstood?: she used to loath vampires until she met Verandis and was proved how such creatures can choose to do good and be trusted. she has yet to meet a good werewolf though

Goals in Life: protect tamriel and its inhabitants *thumbs up*

Deepest Regret: not trying hard enough to hunt down her family’s killers (despite being like 12 at the time lol), not trying hard enough to look for anyone who survived like her cousin Rafiyah who turned out to have been alive this whole time, not telling Darien how she felt sooner

Greatest Hope: despite all the hell she has gone through, looking back, so much good has happened. she has traveled to so many beautiful and astonishing places and met so many wonderful people that would not have happened had she stayed in Hammerfell

Flaws: oh i accidentally put these under weaknesses lol oh well they’re kinda similar

Fears: losing. letting evil win. although she’s super confident in her abilities there is always that one shred of doubt that she won’t win this time. also she’s afraid of losing the friends she’s made, especially her cousin

What makes them happy: being with Rafiyah, petting her clannfear, her cooked food, seeing a daedric prince lose miserably at her hands, running into her old friends in new places unexpectedly

Hobbies: Despite her cold outwards appearance and her reputation as a powerful hero, cresseida loves to cook and sew. her mother was a seamstress and cress learned a lot from her

Favorite Locations: daggerfall, bergama, all of summerset, ARTAEUM

Eating Habits: the standard three meals a day, though she tends to forget to eat when she’s busy on quests. she does bring a lot of snacks tho for when she’s on the road or in a plane of oblivion, ya know, the usual

Can they cook?: Yes and she’s amazing at it. too bad almost no one knows...

Favorite Food: idk ive never thought about that. most likely something that reminds her of eating around the campfires with the other caravaneers when she was young

Favorite Drink: Tea. She hates alcohol btw

First thing they do at a tavern?: Get a room so she can unpack and wind down in private

Sleeping habits: On her side, back towards the wall if there is one, sword/staff close by. her clannfear sleeps at her feet on alert the whole time

Cities or the Wilds?: cities. through her many adventures cresseida has developed a fondness for the people she has reluctantly sworn to protect, and seeing civilians stumble about their lives reminds her of what she has to do.

Pet Peeves: people who waste her time, liars, cowards, people who talk a lot and very loudly

Describe their bedroom or home: pretty bare, she has always been a minimalist who packs lightly cause she never stays in one place

Opinions on daedra: very easy to hate them once coldharbour happened, though after she found out she was a demiprince while she was in the alik’r it really turned her world upside down.

[weirdlizard26]

all 100 questions but ONLY if you want to or have the time to do it :3

hello tumblr dot com 

i skipped the ones i didnt want to or didnt know how to answer also im gkdfngkdf sorry i dont think this is very amusing to read and gosh i hope the readmore works 

1. What is you middle name?

dont have one ✌️

2. How old are you?

19

3. When is your birthday?

uhhhhhhhh april 19th but dont tell anyone

4. What is your zodiac sign?

aries 

5. What is your favorite color?

GREEN

6. What’s your lucky number?

i dont think i have one? 25 is pretty cool tho

7. Do you have any pets?

not currently :(

8. Where are you from?

ukraine ✌️

9. How tall are you?

5’4 i think?? idk we use meters here

10. What shoe size are you?

i have no idea

11. How many pairs of shoes do you own?

more than 7 idk the exact number akjfnkdgndkf

12. What was your last dream about?

i was lost in a video game maize and it was green thats all i remember

13. What talents do you have?

singing i guess?? 

14. Are you psychic in any way?

if “sending the exact same message as my partner at the exact same time” counts then yeah i guess

15. Favorite song?

phoenix by burnout syndromes is GOOD 

16. Favorite movie?

mamma mia here we go again (2018)

17. Who would be your ideal partner?

my partner is my ideal partner uwu

19. Do you want a church wedding?

nooooo

20. Are you religious?

not really? i think god might exist but i dont vibe with any religion i know of

21. Have you ever been to the hospital?

haha yeah twice

22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law?

not yet

23. Have you ever met any celebrities?

nah

24. Baths or showers?

showerrrrrrrrrr

25. What color socks are you wearing?

baby blue with blue snowflakes hehe

26. Have you ever been famous?

do i look like

27. Would you like to be a big celebrity?

i would like my music to be known but being a celebrity myself sounds exhausting

28. What type of music do you like?

ah yes my two favorite genres, haikyuu ost and lemon demon

but in general my music taste is a bit of everything i think. i dont vibe with everything but i do vibe with a lot

29. Have you ever been skinny dipping?

i have no idea what this means and im too scared to google

30. How many pillows do you sleep with?

a single pillow

31. What position do you usually sleep in?

no idea

32. How big is your house?

its just an apartment and theres like. two rooms, kitchen, and a bathroom. so. not that big i guess but not the smallest either kgjdfnkgd

33. What do you typically have for breakfast?

sandwichesssssss

34. Have you ever fired a gun?

nah

35. Have you ever tried archery?

when i was in middle school my friend and i would pick up sticks and make bows out of them and use other sticks as arrows and it was really cool

36. Favorite clean word?

love

37. Favorite swear word?

shit

38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep?

about 48 hours

39. Do you have any scars?

if you count 1 or 2 scars from chickenpox then i guess

40. Have you ever had a secret admirer?

gdnkfgdfgdf i guess you could say that

41. Are you a good liar?

apparently no kgjdfkjgndfkg

42. Are you a good judge of character?

nope!

43. Can you do any other accents other than your own?

i can do a ukrainian accent i guess and also say some words with a british accent but thats it i think

44. Do you have a strong accent?

i dont think so

45. What is your favorite accent?

i love languages ok every accent is so fascinating to study 

46. What is your personality type?

infp-t i think

47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing?

i dont think i have any expensive clothes, theyre mostly second hand kgjdnfkgd

48. Can you curl your tongue?

i guess??

50. Left or right handed?

rightie

51. Are you scared of spiders?

i like observing them from a safe distance but i dont particularly enjoy being close to them

52. Favorite food?

fried chicken,,

53. Favorite foreign food?

i like ramen but im not sure if the one i tried was a real one or not

54. Are you a clean or messy person?

it depends! 

55. Most used phrases?

quotes from songs

56. Most used word?

love

57. How long does it take for you to get ready?

QUITE A WHILE KDNDKDBDN

59. Do you suck or bite lollipops?

i dont eat lollipops gkjdfngkjdf

60. Do you talk to yourself?

yeah a lot

61. Do you sing to yourself?

yeah a lot kjdkdndks

62. Are you a good singer?

people say that yes

63. Biggest Fear?

losing my friends 

64. Are you a gossip?

nah

66. Do you like long or short hair?

cutting my hair real short,,,,, my biggest most unattainable dream 😔😔😔

67. Can you name all 50 states of America?

i am. not american ksnkdnddk

68. Favorite school subject?

math 

69. Extrovert or Introvert?

introvert 

70. Have you ever been scuba diving?

never

71. What makes you nervous?

everything 

72. Are you scared of the dark?

yeah

73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes?

i used to but not anymore

74. Are you ticklish?

y yeah why are you asking 

75. Have you ever started a rumor?

nah

76. Have you ever been in a position of authority?

i was my class representative in middle school but nobody ever listened to what i say and i didn't really say anything and i was only doing it because nobody else wanted to and our teacher thought im very responsible so this probably doesn't count

77. Have you ever drank underage?

yeah but only with my family and ive never gotten drunk

78. Have you ever done drugs?

no

79. Who was your first real crush?

haha let's just say they didn't like me back

80. How many piercings do you have?

just my ears and i regret it

81. Can you roll your Rs?

yeah man im slavic kdndkdn

82. How fast can you type?

real fast

83. How fast can you run?

not real fast 😔

84. What color is your hair?

dark brown

85. What color are your eyes?

dark green

86. What are you allergic to?

idk i used to have some allergies i don't have anymore and i know im still allergic to something but idk what it is

87. Do you keep a journal?

i used to! but it got too exhausting and time consuming 

89. Do you like your age?

not really 

90. What makes you angry?

injustice 

91. Do you like your own name?

yeah willy is a good name :)

94. What are you strengths?

i think im a good listener 

95. What are your weaknesses?

do you want in alphabetical order or

96. How did you get your name?

from jay :)) (thank u Jay) 

97. Were your ancestors royalty?

i doubt it

100. Color of your room?

white kdbdkdb

[hopeandharmonizing]

RP Plotting Sheet : Briar Rieka

Want new-and-exciting plots for your character? Long to reach out to more of your followers, but don’t know where to start? Fear not! Fill out this form and give your RP partners both present and future all the of juicy jumping off points they need to help you get your characters acquainted.

Be sure to tag the players whose characters YOU want more cues to interact with, and repost, don’t reblog! Feel free to add or remove sections as you see fit. Template here.

tagged by: stole it from an old blog

Mun name: Rachel or Teceraca OOC Contact: Start with tumblr IMs. I have discord as well. Talk in the tags.

Who the heck is my muse anyway: 

Creeping up on middle-age, part-time Happy Huntress, part-time musical performer, wolf faunus lady who occasionally plays with gender presentation, mostly on stage. She has a painful past, but it only hardened her into a stronger, kinder self who wants to help everyone else to never hurt that badly, or at least not have to shoulder the pain alone. All she wants is to empower people, and yet all she seems to do it make them weaker and intimidated in her presence. Regardless, she continues to try and inspire through words and music, and protect through fists and claws.

Points of interest: 

black and white wolf tail, thorny vine tattoos wrapping most of her body, a semblance which cancels out others’ semblances, skilled in Aikido, guitar, keyboard/piano, and vocals. Graduate of Sanctum and Atlas Academies. Her huntress license lapsed after its first expiration date and remained that way for ~10 years until she reinstated at the behest of Robyn Hill. She will love you if you love yourself, and likewise do her best to truly scare the shit out of you if you mistreat others.

What they’ve been up to recently:

In mainverse, she’s living her best life in Mantle city, trying to bring hope to the masses and occasionally going on stake-outs for Robyn Hill or acting as entertainment or security detail for her rallies.

If you want to meet her somewhere in the past, you can find her either just looking to survive, mastering her music, or completing combat training followed by huntress training. then, trying but failing to work effectively as a licensed huntress, and slowly feeling like she’s lost herself before she finds music again.

Where to find them: 

In chronological order:

Morkmani Village Anima forests Argus Sanctum Academy Atlas Academy Mantle city  - wherever the work was   - performances at nightclubs, bars, street venues, coffee shops, etc  - libraries, cafes, anywhere she can sit and work on her stuff  - her apartment  - supporting other people’s shows! having fun in the crowds.  - out shopping, especially to add to/update her wardrobe with cool shit

Current plans:

make the world better! or at least feel like less of an oncoming storm. continue to be a badass? love as many people as she can. from a distance, usually.

Desired interactions:

WHEEZE. A lot of this is similar to the associations bit in my page but here we go.

Robyn recruiting her to join the huntresses, any and all shenanigans that may follow. Fraternizing with fellow huntresses in general, or missions together.

Qrow and/or Clover semblance shenanigans and training. Also her and Clover generally giving each other shit bc it is just So Much to have those two egos in one room.

Bitching at Ironwood about what trust and loyalty REALLY means or maybe just her venting to someone about him, but this requires her getting to know him somehow in the first place, or at least to hear from others what he is like. idk. this muse has meta feelings about micromanagement, I would love to thread them.

Giving Weiss vocal training classes when she was a lil’ girl. and/or catching up in current verse. 

Briar getting to meet Blake and absolutely gush about her speech at Menagerie bc she saw it from some scroll recordings.

Basically anything with Jaune. I still have no idea what is going to happen when these two semblances meet each other. I do know hers can basically act like a spiritual resistance weight to help his get stronger. It probably goes both ways. Semblance arm wrestling is what I’m sayin’. But also she just.......... she has a lot of feelings. It’s like a Qrow/Clover thing too where she looks at him and sees everything she could be, but isn’t. She’s too proud. Help her work through this and question herself a little bit so she can come out better for it, and realize they are both different yet who they are supposed to be.

Silver eyes training with Ruby!!!! She doesn’t know anything about them besides what she’d find out from the crew, but she does have plenty of skills and pep talks that can probably help Ruby focus and/or project her power. Briar's semblance color is silver for a reason.

Semblance/aura training with anyone in general. But when I say that I also mean “learning not to rely on your semblance” training. She’s good for that. She may get being a professor for it added to either her history or her future, idk yet.

This also leads into being able to have a discussion with Oscar/Ozpin about a different take that can help her fully realize her semblance abilities. If you’re interested, we can chat mun to mun so I can let you know my ideas and you can decide how your muse wants to guide her through it.

Other OCs idk who what where when why how but that’s exactly the point. the whole verse is our oyster, let’s see what happens. come @ me. let’s let our muses help develop each other.

Offered interactions:

Briar’s actually pretty easy to have interactions with villains? She probably won’t know any better if she runs into them and they aren’t immediately stirring trouble. For better or worse, she’ll give them the benefit of the doubt if they are trying to confide in her about something or just chatting.

Also I haven’t made one yet but she’d be damn good for a villain herself AU.

She will listen to you! She will sing to you!! She wants to make you happy and help you grow, plz come to her with whatever. (Or vice versa! She’s not difficult to get to open up and she will talk with you about her own doubts and demons if u want).

Anyone can watch one of her performances and/or come find her hanging around the venue afterwards. I’ll probably make some opens for this kind of thing.

Are you another performer character??? Duets??? duets.

Faunus mentor!! Music mentor!!

Sanctum or Atlas Academy student days can be a thing. Likewise for her more interspersed street performances during those times.

future volume interactions if you’re comfortable with hcs of what goes down until we find out canon. She can go after Robyn/Qrow in the immediate timeframe, or run into any of the kids in the process. I like to think she joins up with the main cast to head to Vacuo when that happens. Whether to just bring her music along for them and/or to start spreading it to more reaches of the world bc hopefully Atlas/Mantle is under control at some point and in good hands with Robyn and however that leadership shakes out, and damn the whole world needs hope right now, so it is... Time To Dream Even Bigger.

Current open post/s: 

here’s the open starter tag!

Anything else?:

I thought there was a shipping section on here but uhhhhhh i’m too much of a wuss to make one myself right now. maybe a bias list in the future. I feel like I should get some general interactions going first. 

Tagging: I’m not making anyone commit to this beast. If you want it, take it and most certainly blame me and tag me so I can read it.

[cantbehandled-ever]

thanks @satans-helper for tagging me in this get to know me tag! i’ve never done one this long, so here’s a bunch of info that no one wanted to know about me lmao

1. What’s your middle name?

- Lynn, which i hateee

2. how old are you?

- 19

3. when is your birthday?

- november 17th

4. what is your zodiac sign?

- scorpio sun, libra rising, pisces moon. i have two fucking water signs which explains why i’m so emotional

5. what’s your favorite shade of green?

- forest/emerald green

6. what’s your lucky number?

- 8

7. do you have any pets?

- yes! i have three dogs and i’d die for them

8. where are you from?

- originally chicago, but now i live in orlando

9. how tall are you?

- 5’9

10. what shoe size are you?

- 10 in women’s, 8.5 in men’s

11. how many pairs of shoes do you own?

- 10

12. what was your last dream about?

- i dreamt that i ran off to live in a cave and raised goldfish as my past time, so i’m really jealous that i didn’t actually do that

13. what talents do you have?

- i can bs my way through stuff, because if i really need to, i can come off as decently eloquent. also i can sing kinda well, nothing amazing

14. are you psychic in any way?

- i’ve had dreams that ended up happening exactly like i dreamed them

15. favorite song?

- i could not tell you, but lately i’ve been listening to Second Hand News by Fleetwood Mac several times a day

16. Favorite movie?

- the sixth sense (i just really like m. night shyamalan movies)

17. who would be our ideal partner?

- someone with a great sense of humor and i’m pretty anxious, so someone who is good at keeping calm

18. do you want children?

- nope lmao, but i do want to be an aunt. i like kids, but like only when i can give them back to their parents when i get tired of them lol

19. do you want a church wedding?

- not really, if i did end up having one, it would be bc the building was beautiful it would have nothing to do with it being a church

20. are you religious?

- no, long and sad history with religion. i do consider myself to be pretty spiritual and learning more about stuff like that is really interesting to me

21. have you ever been to a hospital?

- yep, last year over spring break i had to get my gallbladder removed:)))))))) my surgeon took pics of my gallbladder though and it’s super sick and gross looking so at least i have that

22. have you ever gotten into trouble with the law?

- nope

23. have you ever met any celebrities?

- i met andy mientus, but he’s not like a huge celebrity

24. baths or showers?

- showers, baths are gross

25. what color socks are you wearing?

- white and purple

26. have you ever been famous?

- not really, but when i was in fifth grade i submitted a poem i wrote to a publishing company and they put it into a book, so my elementary school made a big deal out of it, so i was like a local celebrity amongst ten year olds for a week lol

27. would you like to be a big celebrity?

- only if it was for music, because that’s the only way i could see myself being happy with it. however, i’d much rather just have my own niche audience and be super personal with them, but still make enough money that i could afford to have that be my only career

28. what type of music do you like?

- mainly rock and funkier music, but i can pretty much listen to anything

29. have you ever been skinny dipping?

- no, because i hate my body lol

30. how many pillows do you sleep with?

- 4

31. what position do you usually sleep in?

- i’m a stomach sleeper

32. how big is your house?

- i live in a tiny apartment

33. what do you typically have for breakfast?

- usually just coffee, but sometimes i’ll have a breakfast bar

34. have you ever fired a gun?

- yes and i hated it, it’s way too scary to hold something like that

35. have you ever tried archery?

- yeah! we had it as a unit in my middle school gym class and i wasn’t super horrible at it!

36. favorite clean word?

- indubitably

37. favorite swear word?

- it’s more of a statement but i say “fuck off” all the time

38. what’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep?

- 29 when i was studying for finals last year

39. do you have any scars?

- several

40. have you ever had a secret admirer?

- yeah when i was seven

41. are you a good liar?

- when i need to be

42. are you a good judge of character?

- no i try to let everyone prove themselves, but mainly just makes me feel dumb when they screw me over

43. can you do any other accents other than your own?

- i don’t really have a midwestern accent anymore, but i can do one to make fun of my family members

44. do you have a strong accent?

- no

45. what’s your favorite accents?

- south african

46. what’s your personality type?

- advocate

47. what’s your most expensive piece of clothing?

- my doc martens were like $135 and i treat them like babies

48. can you curl your tongue?

- yep

49. are you an innie or an outie?

- bellybutton??? an innie but that’s super weird

50. left or right handed?

- right handed

51. are you scared of spiders?

- oh absolutely

52. favorite food?

- sushi

53. favorite foreign food?

- sushi or mexican food

54. are you a clean or messy person?

- both, i keep my room super messy, but any area of the apartment that i share with other people i keep spotless

55. most used phrase?

- “oh absolutely”

56. most used word?

- fuck

57. how long does it take you to get ready?

- roughly about an hour and 15 minutes

58. do you have much of an ego?

- depends, but in general i wouldn’t say so

59. do you suck or bite lollipops?

- suck

60. do you talk to yourself?

- who doesn’t?????

61. do you sing to yourself?

- all the time

62. are you good singer?

- i’m fine, nothing impressive

63. biggest fear?

- being kidnapped and also i’m really afraid of strange men, i can’t bring myself to trust both of them

64. are you a gossip?

- to my roommates

65. best dramatic movie you’ve ever seen?

- i really don’t know, i don’t watch a ton of dramas, mainly comedy

66. do you like long or short hair?

- on girls i like both, on guys i prefer long

67. can you name all 50 states in america?

- yeah if you gave me a few minutes

68. favorite school subject?

- biology

69. extrovert or introvert?

- introvert

70. have you ever been scuba diving?

- nope

71. what makes you nervous?

- i have anxiety :)))) so everything

72. are you scared of the dark?

- only if i’m in a strange place

73. do you correct people when they make mistakes?

- depends on my relationship with them

74. are you ticklish?

- holy shit yeah

75. have you ever started a rumor?

- nope

76. have you ever been in a position of authority?

- not one that mattered

77. have you drank underage?

- yes, i literally have more alcohol than food in my fridge rn

78. have you ever done drugs?

- yep, like three days ago

79. who was your first real crush?

- a kid named conner when i was in sixth grade

80. how many piercings do you have?

- four

81. can you roll your r’s?

- nope

82. how fast can you type?

- moderately fast

83. how fast can you run?

- not fast at all

84. what color is your hair?

- auburn

85. what color are your eyes?

- brown

86. what are you allergic to?

- shellfish

87. do you keep a journal?

- nope but i have a finsta which i use for the same reason

88. what do your parents do?

- my mom is a nurse and my dad used to be a firefighter

89. do you like your age?

- i mean i don’t like how close i am to being a real adult, but it’s fine

90. what makes you angry?

- lots of stuff

91. do you like your name?

- nope, i think it’s stupid

92. have you already thought of baby names, and if so, what are they?

- nope, no children thanks

93. do you want a boy or a girl child?

- neither

94. what are your strengths?

- i’m a good problem solver and i have a good work ethic

95.what are your weaknesses?

- i am physically weak and wayyyyy too emotional

96. how did you get your name?

- my mom watched steel magnolias in college and decided she was going to name her first daughter shelby

97. were your ancestors royalty?

- i doubt it, but on the off chance, pls send money i’m broke :))))))

98. do you have any scars?

- yes

99. color of your bedspread?

- white

100. color of your room?

- yellow

im tagging: @blackbluemichael @flowrxchild @rosecolouredash @calumsdemons @ghostofcth @what-now-lucas

[kates-sweet-escape]

[WH] YOURS - The Series: Chapter One

pairing: Wonho X Reader (female)

genre: Angst / Suspense

word count: 4.8k

summary: It’s been two years since you’ve left everything behind. But a simple phone call brings you right back to everything you’ve been trying to forget

a/n: You are living with a fake identity. Whenever you read Y/F/N people call you by your fake first name.

cover: Made by me. 

Picture credit: Official Monsta X

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License.

chapter index: Prologue | 01 | 02 | 03

“You know that he’s looking at you again, right?”

You let out a long sigh and stopped playing with your food that you hadn’t really touched for the last five minutes. Instead, you focused on your only and therefore best friend Yoo Kihyun. He was sitting on the edge of your desk, cross-legged as if the whole twentieth floor belonged to him. Which was definitely not the case since his own office was located on the eighth floor. But your best friend had always been extremely self-confident. Or he just had a huge ego. Whatever one preferred.

“Ki - Just ignore him.”

“I can’t. He just keeps looking over to us. He might think he’s sneaky with looking down at his papers but he sure as hell isn’t. And his gaze is just…” Kihyun frowned, apparently at a loss for words, which was quite understandable, since the behavior of your boss was anything but professional. “Does he do that every day?”

You spared a glance towards the desk that was standing opposite yours. Changkyun’s secretary, Bae Soojeon, was talking to somebody on the phone, her fingers hammering down on the keyboard as she made full use of her headset. She seemed preoccupied. But you knew better than that. She was like your company’s very own tabloid. If she overheard anything that she considered juicy gossip, the whole company would know about it in no time. So you never talked about anything personal in front of that woman. And your relationship to your boss definitely was one of those things. So you didn’t say a word. But apparently staying silent was enough of an answer for Kihyun.

“Are you for real?” His eyes widened and he leaned down towards you, lowering his voice as he kept on talking. “God, how do you even get anything done with him looking at you like this?”

You shook your head in annoyance before putting the lid back onto your salad. So much for your peaceful lunch break.

“I ignore him and just do my job.” You already regretted telling Kihyun when you’d be having lunch and asking him to tag along. But unfortunately, you still didn’t really fancy eating alone. “And I’m gonna start ignoring you too if you don’t stop talking about our boss.” You shoved him back a little but Kihyun seemed completely unfazed by it and leaned in again, his nose now almost touching yours. You could already imagine all the chatter being spread by Soojeon because of this. It would take three days to be completely blown out of proportion. By tomorrow you’d be dating Kihyun. By Thursday you’d be pregnant. And by Friday you were probably planning on eloping.

God. You hated that sort of stuff.  

“Sorry, Y/F/N it’s just… It’s oddly distracting even for me.” Kihyun glanced towards the glass front of Changkyun’s office. Your boss was sitting at his desk, his eyes seemingly looking at the papers in his hand. But only a few seconds later he lifted his gaze and was looking at you again. When your eyes met, he smiled a little before refocusing on his work.

You immediately noticed the dark shadows under his eyes and that he was wearing the same suit he’d worn yesterday. Which meant he’d spent another night at the office. When you’d brought him his coffee this morning he’d seemed tired. But now - a few hours later - he looked completely exhausted.

Kihyun cleared his throat and shifted his attention back to you, a faint blush spreading on his cheeks. “Really, really distracting. And I am straight.”

You cocked up your eyebrow, pressing your lips together to avoid laughing. “Are you sure about that?”

“Bite me.” Kihyun scoffed before scooting in even closer. God, that guy really didn’t get the whole concept of personal space. Which was probably the reason why he even managed to become your friend just shortly after entering the company. He never got discouraged by your cold and aversive nature. He just kept on trying, ending your solitude with that sassy and slightly annoying nature of his.

“So,” You already knew trouble was headed your way when a sly smile tugged at the edge of Kihyun’s lips. “You never thought about hitting it off with him? It’s obvious that he is interested.”

Your eyes widened a little. “Ki, he’s my boss.”

“And it’s the 21st century.” Kihyun simply shrugged, as if dating a CEO wasn’t a big deal. “Nobody cares about stuff like that anymore.”

That was a big fat lie. And you both knew it. Because people would always care about ridiculous bullsh*t like that. So you shook your head no. Almost violently. You lowered your voice, practically whispering by now to avoid Soojeon listening in. “I don’t want people talking about me. Or him. So no. I’ve never thought about dating him. Also–” You hesitated, struggling to come up with a believable lie why Changkyun wasn’t dating material apart from him being your boss– “I don’t date guys my age.”

“I see.” Kihyun nodded, patting you on the shoulder in empathy. “So you were also raised in a conservative family then?”

For a second you were back in your teenage days, where you had to attend countless debutante balls and celebrations for arranged marriages. Where dating was forbidden and where having a “lower-class” boyfriend was considered a huge scandal. Funny how the darkest depths of Seoul’s underworld were so outdated. Other memories started to resurface like the taste of rain, the sound of muffled laughter and the warmth of a body pressed closely against yours. And your bodyguard’s loud screams of anger when he’d found you and … him … sneaking in through the backdoor in the middle of the night.

You cast those memories aside just as fast as they had surfaced. They were too painful. And since the second anniversary of that dreadful night was drawing close you weren’t strong enough to face any of them without breaking down in tears.

“Don’t even get me started.”

“Ms. Lee?” Kihyun almost jumped off your table when the deep and raspy voice of Changkyun was suddenly coming from the intercom. “I need your help.”

You pressed the little button and leaned in towards the speaker, lowering your voice to make it sound soft and calm. “I’ll be right there, Sir.”

You let go of the button and got up from your seat, straightening your dress and rearranging your jewelry. You tried to ignore Kihyun’s stare as best as you possibly could before throwing away your empty can of diet coke.

“Of course he does.” Kihyun sneered as he got up from the table. “God, he’s being painfully obvious.”

“Helping him is my job.” You said, suddenly feeling the need to defend your boss. “I am his personal assistant after all.”

Kihyun grinned and as he wiggled his eyebrows suggestively you already knew he was going to spout nonsense again. “I bet he wants you to assist him on an even more personal level.”

Your cheeks flushed with heat but you tried to play it cool by rolling your eyes and pushing Kihyun towards the elevator. “God - Get lost.”

Kihyun clutched his chest dramatically while slowly walking backwards. “You know, I don’t seem like it but I do have feelings.”

You laughed a little, your fingers already touching the cold metal of the doorknob. “I highly doubt that.” You flashed Kihyun one last smile and waved goodbye as he stepped into the elevator. “See you later, Ki.”

“See you later, Y/F/N.”

As soon as the doors of the elevator closed you opened the glass door to Changkyun’s office. It was still beyond you how one person needed such a large space just to himself, but apparently, that was some sort of CEO thing you’d never be able to understand.

“You called for me, CEO Im?”

“Yeah, I did.” Changkyun got up from his seat behind the desk that had been placed in front of the huge glass front that allowed a spectacular view over the bay. “Please, close the door behind you.”

You stepped into his office, the soft cotton white of the walls and the warm brown of the wooden floor immediately calmed you down. “What can I do for you, Sir?” You softly closed the door behind you, finally shutting out Soojeon’s voice who was still on the phone.

Changkyun’s face was stern and his lips, that often showcased a rather smug smile, were pressed together in a thin line. The dark circles under his eyes made his skin look even paler than it actually was. His slightly messy hair currently had a bluish-grey color which had cost him a fortune and countless of hours at the hairdresser but accentuated his dark eyes perfectly, making them look like they were pitch-black instead of dark brown. He looked a little bit older than you, but actually, the two of you were only a few months apart. But that was only natural, considering the stress he was under.

“I need your help.” Changkyun walked over towards you, unbuttoning his suit coat which had a rather classic cut. “Oh and, by the way–” Changkyun averted your eyes as he came closer, looking slightly displeased “-was that Yoo Kihyun from the marketing department? He visits you at your desk fairly often these days. Are you two a thing?”

You tried your hardest not to laugh. Kihyun was right. Changkyun really was being painfully obvious. “I thought you only needed my help, Sir.”

“The door is closed, Y/F/N.” Changkyun sounded a little annoyed and you tried your best to keep a straight face. “So drop the whole Sir bullsh*t and tell me honestly - are you two a thing?”

Honestly, this wasn’t even worth answering. But the way Changkyun looked at you let you know that your answer was meaningful to him. So you walked over to him, lifting your hands to rearrange his pocket square. You needed to keep yourself occupied with something as you started talking with that calm and unfazed voice of yours. “What are you gonna do if we are?”

“I don’t know.” Changkyun’s unique laugh filled the office but today it didn’t sound as cheerful as it usually did. “Maybe I should fire him. To lower the competition, you know?”

You stopped your little task and looked Changkyun straight in the eyes. Even though he wasn’t particularly tall only a few people dared to because of how rich and privileged he was as the very young CEO of a huge pharmaceutical company. But you had been raised to stare down people that were more powerful than him. And far more dangerous. So you weren’t afraid. “Don’t say stuff like that.”

“Why? You don’t like it? Does it make me look like an idiot?”

“Kind of. Because if you’re serious about this you’d be a bloody fool.” You straightened his jacket, tucking at it a little stronger than necessary. “Ever since he joined the company, sales have dramatically increased. And by the way - these days women don’t like guys who abuse their power just to flirt with somebody.” You smiled as you heard him gasp in fake shock. “But also, no. We aren’t dating. We’re just friends.” Changkyun’s sudden and bright smile was almost contagious but you didn’t allow yourself to join in. This was stupid. “Kihyun isn’t really my type.”

You took a step back and crossed your arms over your chest as you watched that smile of his widen a little further, showing off a set of perfectly white teeth.

“Then...” Changkyun’s tone became playful and flirty, something you’d gotten used to over the past two years and were easily able to handle. “What is your type?”

Not you.

Your mind suddenly went foggy with memories again. A bright smile. A contagious laugh. A soft whisper in your ear and the loving and gentle touch of rough and large hands. Strong arms to hold you close at night, hot skin and the faint smell of pine and blood.

You snapped out of it by shaking your head, casting away all these memories that seemed to just randomly resurface these days.

Whenever that happened, you were in agony. Because the pain, which never really went away, intensified again, occupying every inch of your body and making it hard for you to breathe.

It was ridiculous. You should have gotten over him by now. It had been two years for Christ’s sake. You should have moved on already, forgotten all about him. Yet you still remembered everything in vivid detail.

His voice. His smile. His kiss.

And it still hurt.

But you were getting better. Slowly but steadily you were getting over him, even though it hardly felt like it at the moment. But at least you weren’t losing sleep anymore simply because he wasn’t lying next to you. You weren’t waking up with tears streaming down your face because he’d visited you in your dreams. And you also stopped hesitating when you covered your own tattoos with make-up in the morning.

So you were getting better. Your wounds were steadily healing. And soon enough only the scars would remain. They’d hurt occasionally, but sooner or later you’d forget you even had them.

So maybe, just maybe, it was time to move on.

And perhaps Changkyun was the right guy for the job. Since he was the complete opposite of… him.

So why not risk it? Why not flirt a little with the guy that was so obviously interested in you? Because you really liked Changkyun. He was a playful and funny guy with surprisingly deep thoughts and a sense of responsibility that was uncommon for guys his age. And you got along great. Talking to him was never boring and you’d had countless dinners with him where you’d forgotten the time, staying with him at a crowded restaurant until it was almost empty because you were so engaged in a conversation.

So why not go for it, right?

You cleared your throat a little and tried your best to sound as flirty as you possibly could. “It’s a secret.”

Changkyun’s eyes widened in surprise and you already knew that this had been a very bad idea. “Was that?” He let out a deep laugh before he took a step closer to you. Had he always smelled of sea salt and sage? “Wait. Did you just try to flirt with me?”

You could feel your cheeks flush with heat as Changkyun was looking at you with that lopsided smirk that you knew made a lot of girls weak in the knees. God, you shouldn’t have tried being coy. You weren’t good at that. Which didn’t come as much of a surprise considering the fact that you’d been in a relationship ever since you’d turned fourteen. You only ever had to flirt with guys in order to get what you wanted for the Clan. And that had been a completely different thing.

“No, I wasn’t.” you quickly replied before turning your back on Changkyun and walking towards the huge conference table that barely fit into his already large office. The shiny mahogany surface was completely covered with all sorts of paperwork.

With just one look you could already tell that this was a complete mess that had gotten out of hand. You stepped a little closer and narrowed your eyes. You knew those papers. Quite well actually since it had taken you days to properly organize them.

“Are those the papers for the merger?”

Changkyun hesitated for a second. “Yeah.”

“Changkyun! For Christ's sake!” You raised your voice in anger. You had worked for two days and one night straight in order to get this done. “The merger is supposed to happen next week! How are you still not done with the paperwork?” You looked at Changkyun who avoided your gaze and just scratched the back of his head like a schoolboy who was being scolded by his teacher. “You were only supposed to take another look at them and then sign the goddamn contract! How the hell did you make such a mess?”

“Don’t be so mad at me.” Changkyun pouted a bit. But then his face suddenly became stern. Dark even. “There was something fishy about their numbers so I went through all of it again.” He looked you straight in the eyes and you could see the worry and determination in his. “I can’t afford to fuck this up.”

Yeah. You knew he couldn’t. This was Changkyun’s first big project ever since he’d taken over CODA Pharmaceuticals from his sick father three years ago. Everybody's eyes were on the young CEO who’d been in charge of one of the biggest companies in the country ever since the young age of twenty. Everybody expected him to mess this up and the sharks were already ready to rip him to shreds once they were able to smell even the faintest drop of blood in the water. And you knew exactly what that felt like. All those expectations. All those enemies surrounding you, waiting for you to make a mistake. You really felt for him, which was exactly why you couldn’t stay mad.

You let out a sigh, accepting your fate of at least one more night shift. You took off your blazer and put it over the back of one of the fifteen chairs that had been arranged around the large table. “Okay. What do you need me to do?”

Changkyun smiled brightly at you before he came closer again, his left hand settling on the chair right next to you while the other rested on top of the conference table, closing you in and causing your heart to beat a little faster when you felt his chest touching your back. “Help me find their last five tax declarations and their sale numbers from 2011 until now.”

You nodded before looking at the mess again. “You know that I would have been able to find them a lot faster if you didn’t go all crazy professor on this, right?” You reached out to loosely rearrange some of the documents. “This just screams overtime.”

“It’ll be faster if I just hel-”

“No. You stay away from this.” You glanced over your shoulder just to realize how close Changkyun actually was. “You know I think you’re a genius but you’re a mess when it comes to organizing. So let me do this and just focus on something else. Preferably something that doesn’t ruin two nights worth my work.”

Changkyun smiled softly, casting away some of the worry on his handsome face. “Thanks, Y/F/N. I owe you.”

“You can pay me back with a hefty raise.”

Changkyun’s gaze was shifting between your eyes and your lips and when he started speaking again his voice sounded a little lower than usual. “I was thinking about a nice dinner instead. Just the two of us. What do you say?”

Silence suddenly filled the room. You could hear Soojeon’s muffled voice from outside the office while the clock on the wall steadily kept ticking.

Your thoughts were a mess. Should you go out with him? Shouldn’t you? Were you ready? Weren’t you ready? Were you ever going to be ready? He probably had moved on a long time ago. Yet you still hesitated, not even daring to flirt back even a little bit whenever a guy had shown interest in you. So wasn’t it finally time? Maybe it would help you forget all about him. Even though you seriously doubted that you were ever able to do that. But you should at least try, right? You couldn’t live on with this constant pain in your chest. And there was also no way of ever going back. You’d lost him forever the night you’d walked out of the mansion. He was gone.

And it was time that you accepted that and moved on.

“I-” Your answer was cut short as the loud ringtone of your phone violently broke the silence. “Excuse me.” You moved back a little, forcing Changkyun to let go of the chair. You reached for the inner pocket of your blazer and frowned as you looked at the two phones you now held in your hand. You used the white one for work. Usually, it was ringing almost constantly. But now the display was pitch-black. Instead, the golden one, your private one, was ringing.

The phone that only two people had the number of. And one of them was standing right next to you, looking down at you in confusion.

“Sorry.” You lifted your phone a little before pointing towards the office door. “May I?”

Changkyun took a huge step backwards, making some room for you to properly move. “Sure thing.”

“Thanks. I’ll be right back.” You went out of the office and turned to your left, still looking down at the phone in your hand that just kept on ringing. A landline number. And judging by the fact that it started with a 51 it had to be a caller from Busan. But nobody knew your private cell number except for Changkyun and Kihyun. You’d made sure of that, not wanting to take any risks.

So who the hell was calling you?

You sped up your footsteps, almost running down the hallway that led you towards the fire escape which was often used by Changkyun for a quick smoke. Your heart was beating rapidly in your chest and your hands were starting to sweat as your brain was already going through all the possibilities. And all of them were terrifying.

You knew you shouldn’t answer this call. Everything inside you screamed and begged of you not to accept it. To just ignore it and pretend this never happened. But you knew that ignorance isn't bliss. It was dangerous. And in your case, it could even be deadly. If they found you, you needed to know so you could at least try to get away. Even though you knew that it would probably be impossible. Especially if Hyunwoo had sent… him.

There was no escaping him. At least not for you.

And your brother was very well aware of that.

You shoved open the exit door and stepped out onto the landing. You tried not to focus on the fact that you were on the twentieth floor or that the wind was howling in your ears.

Instead, you forced yourself to finally answer the call.

“Hello?” You tried to sound strong and daring, not giving away the fact that you were shaking with fear. But you failed. Your voice was high pitched and completely out of tune.

“Hello.” You frowned. Not at all what you’d expected. This was the voice of a young woman. And she sounded stressed out and even a little agitated. “This is the Emergency Room of Busan General Hospital speaking.”

The ER? Did Kihyun have an accident? But you talked to him a little over fifteen minutes ago. And Busan General was on the other side of town. No way he–

“Hello!” The nurse said again, now sounding mildly anxious. “Are you there?”

“Sorry.” God, you had to snap out of it. “Yes. Yes, I’m listening.”

“I asked you what your name was.”

“My name is Lee Y/F/N.” You tried to calm down so that your brain could start to make sense of what was actually going on. “I’m sorry but I am a little confused as to why the ER is calling me.

The woman started speaking again. “We have an unidentified male in our trauma ward with a stab wound to his lower abdomen. He had nothing on him except for 50 million Won and a cellphone with only one number saved in it.” She seemed to carefully arrange her words before she kept going. “And that number was yours.”

Stab wound. Lower abdomen.

Thank God - it’s not him.

After spending years in the inner circle of the Clan you knew all the signature killing methods. Especially his. And he had always been the type to break bones instead of dealing with a huge pool of blood at his feet.

No, this wasn’t him. But that didn’t make this whole thing less dangerous. Because a stab wound like that was Jooheon’s specialty. Your brother’s very own assassin and one of the sickest bastards you’d ever met. He always went for a stab wound, making his victims suffer and slowly but steadily bleed to death at his feet. He enjoyed hearing them scream and beg for mercy. But all of them pleaded in vain. You’d never heard of a life speared by Lee Jooheon.

Which meant that your brother had sent you a warning in form of a dead body. Quite theatrical. Especially for somebody like Hyunwoo.

But apparently, things changed.

“Are you sure about that?” you said, your voice a bit calmer now. “He didn’t have any note on him? Or something written across his chest or something?”

“What?” The nurse must have been under the impression that you were insane, but you didn’t have the time to care about stuff like that.

“I asked if he had something written on him. In ink or in blood?” You thought about how your father had relayed messages like that to his enemies. “Or does he have a tattoo?”

“Who the hell are you?”

God, you’d almost forgot how bothersome it was to deal with mere civilians in situations like that. They were always too nosy for their own good, resulting in a lot of them being killed for absolutely no reason but their own curiosity.

You let out a long and drawn-out sigh, your brain already formulating an escape plan instead of trying to be empathetic towards the woman that was probably absolutely terrified by all your questions. “Just check.”

Getting out of Busan would cost you a fortune. Especially if you wanted to be gone without a trace. And you definitely needed to if Jooheon was close by. Maybe this time you should really consider getting yourself a fake passport and escaping to the United States. But your brother had a lot of business partners there so Europe or Australia might be the better alternative. But both were pricey. And it wasn’t like Changkyun was paying you a lot of money. You were just a personal assistant for Christ’s sake. You could consider yourself lucky because you were able to pay the bloody rent.

Good thing you knew how to make money fast. Maybe you should–

“Are you kidding? He’s covered in tattoos! And I really shouldn’t get too close to him if he’s unconscious. That’s considered sexual harassment! And he isn’t just some piece of meat!”

Your thoughts came to a sudden halt. What did she just say? You must have been mistaken, right?

Jooheon never spared a life. Never.

“Wait - He isn’t dead?”

“No, he isn’t!” The nurse sounded hysterical by now. “And what kind of question is that?”

You couldn’t care less. You needed her to be absolutely sure about this. “Are you sure he is alive and breathing?”

“Well, I am only a mere nurse so why don’t you come down here and tell me?” She huffed. “We need him to be identified. The police will arrive shortly and– Wait…”

“Did you find something?” Maybe your brother had actually left a message for you. Something that would give you a hint as to how close he truly was.

“Not really. I just noticed this tattoo on his neck.”

You closed your eyes. Hoping. Praying. But the rational part of you already started to paint the picture for you. And it sure as hell wasn’t a pretty one.

Your heart started to rapidly beat in your chest while your stomach clenched. Suddenly, you felt like drowning. As if your lungs were filling up with water and making it unable for you to take one steady breath after the other. You shouldn’t ask. You really shouldn’t. Because you knew that your worst fears would come to life the moment you did. Yet your mouth started to move on it’s own, making the words fall off your tongue in a frenzy.

“What does it say?”

You could hear the ruffling of clothes. The steady beeping of the ECG. The nurse who cursed under her breath as she probably leaned in a little closer to the patient to get a proper look at the tattoo.

You knew that it must have been only a matter of seconds until she started speaking again but to you, it felt like minutes. And when she finally did, she shattered your peaceful world into a million little pieces.

“Yours.”

to be continued...

[bakudekuficlibrary]

Do you have any fics where BkDk have the their “first time” together?

Hiya! Here’s a mini-list of fics tagged as “First Time”!

-Ellie

40 Works.

Before Midnight by DriftingGlass ( E | 211,528 | 28/28 )

Izuku Midoriya takes the same train to and from school Monday through Friday, morning and night. His only company during these lonesome hours comes in the form of another boy his age—a teen with scarred hands and blood gem eyes, a stranger with ash-blond hair who walks in a shroud of danger and mystery.

“Would you stop with that fucking muttering, idiot?”

And before Izuku can find his footing, his life becomes a full-blown collision course thanks to walking cannonball Katsuki Bakugou.

(And along the way he may have found the missing fuel to his fire).

[Graphic Depictions of Violence | Underage | Implied/Referenced Child Abuse | Emotional/Psychological Abuse | Attempted Sexual Assault]

drag me to the deeps of your heart by halcyonwhispers ( E | 5,945 | 1/1 )

Everyone presents on their 17th birthday, and while Katsuki has already (alpha, big fuckin’ shocker), he awaits his boyfriend’s presentation to finally get over the nonexistent (slight) curiosity over Izuku’s new rank.

He can’t be an alpha, not crybaby, overthinking Deku. Anyways, both his parents are betas, and all that genetic and biology shit says Deku’s bound for that road.

(he thinks)

SeriesPart 1 of The (Im)Proper Way to an Alpha-Omega Courtship

[Underage]

Honeymoon High by Butterfree ( T | 115,021 | 18/18 )

“OI, FUCKFACE! If you think you’re just going to waltz into this fancy-ass church with your fake as shit smile and your miserable bitch of a wife while my friend is sitting on the street carrying YOUR BABY, then YOU need to step right down here SO I CAN DETONATE YOUR ASS UNTIL NO ONE CAN RECOGNIZE YOUR LYING FACE, YOU DIPSHIT EXCUSE FOR A HUMAN BEING!”

A beat of silence.

And then all hell broke loose.

It started with a ‘SLAP’ resonating from the bride who activated some quirk to maximize the pain that her ex-fiancé felt. A lady near the front fainted, knocking over the table with the wedding cake and a glass swan sculpture. The scattered remains caused the ring bearer to jump up. Her quirk accidentally activated and sent the brides’ maids into the air. A man with half white and half red hair rushed to save the statue, but ended up tripping over a power line which engulfed the room in darkness. It didn’t take long for everyone else in the building to follow.

In the midst of the glory Katsuki felt at the complete chaos, a calloused hand grabbed his sleeve. He was met with wide and curious green eyes. “Excuse me, I’m the groom. Do I know you?”

.

Fuck. He crashed the wrong wedding.

[Graphic Depictions of Violence]

Don’t Set Your Drink Down by Crandberrycrush ( E | 79,363+ | 20/21 )

With sudden clarity Izuku realized he had broken the first rule of going out. Never leave your drink unattended.

Not-so-useless Deku by reigncloud ( E | 9,778 | 5/5 )

Katsuki just presses even closer, shoving Deku against the wall. “N-no!” Deku flails a bit, uselessly of course, and futilely tries to push Katsuki away. “Kacchan, don’t get so close!”

“Holy fuck, Deku. Is that what you’re trying to hide?” Katsuki has his thigh between Deku’s legs, and he can feel the other boy’s rock hard dick pressing against him. Deku’s hips jerk forward just a bit in response to the pressure of Katsuki’s body. “Shit, you absolute pervert. You fucking like this, don’t you?”

[Underage | Mildly Dubious Consent]

My Youth Is Yours by lalazee ( E | 2,419 | 1/1 )

“I love you.”“Gay.”“Are we really having this conversation while your dick is - oh.”

addendum: immersed by Ramabear (RyMagnatar) ( E | 2,733 | 1/1 )

After the confession on the beach, things do not cool down between Izuku and Katsuki even after they return to Izuku’s home together.

SeriesPart 4 of standing in awe of death

[Underage]

Panic by iknewaman ( E | 22,725 | 1/1 )

Katsuki’s experienced a load of ‘firsts’ in his lifetime, but his most memortable ones include the firsts he shared with Deku.

[Underage]

springtime of youth by claimedbydaryl ( E | 25,592 | 6/6 )

Now, Katsuki was capable of at least acknowledging that Izuku was his friend, but Izuku doesn’t think Katsuki knows that their rekindled relationship would entail things like talking, and almost-dates, and unsaid feelings.

(Or, the five times Izuku knew he would never forget the innocent sweetness of their childhood friendship despite all that had happened, and the one time Katsuki realised he had not forgotten it too).

addendum: connected by Ramabear (RyMagnatar) ( E | 3,699 | 1/1 )

Katsuki fulfills Izuku’s wish to become closer, become connected.

The first time sets the precedence.

SeriesPart 9 of standing in awe of death

[Underage]

Playgrounds and playing fields by Stars1Are1Metaphors ( E | 16,872 | 1/1 )

It starts as a game. Doctor and nurse, they call it. They’re childhood friends and there isn’t anyone they trust more than each other.

But somewhere down the line Bakugou and Midoriya end up in a very… complicated relationship.

[Underage]

[On Hiatus] synthesis by DriftingGlass ( M | 31,325+ | 6/? )

They didn’t know how it happened, or when a concept so fickle and ridiculous blossomed in the garden of doubts, anger, and pain in which they so frequently visited.

Between scarred hands and bloodied knuckles, unspoken thoughts stirred like petals in springtime rain.

Bakugo was not prepared for the undeniable change spurring between them.

Unfortunately, neither was Midoriya.

[Underage]

Storm Stayed by actualdevil ( E | 4,221 | 1/1 )

Inclement weather leads to finding shelter and reluctantly sharing a bed. Also, Kirishima was supposed to be here, damnit.

Took It Like a Champ by InfiniteTeal ( E | 3,238 | 1/1 )

Midoriya takes it like a champ when Bakugou forces him down to give the most miserable and rudest blow job of his life. He’s the one that leaves Bakugou speechless in the end.

[Underage | Dubious Consent]

Mark Me. Make Me Yours. by decadentbynature ( E | 10,062 | 1/1 )

Midoriya is the only Omega at UA and he’s been hiding it well but there’s one issue that threatens to expose him: his attraction to an Alpha, Bakugo. After being told to give some paperwork to Bakugo, Midoriya lets him into his dorm room and is immediately overwhelmed by his scent. Unable to help himself, he gives in to his urges, only to be discovered by Bakugo but instead of becoming enraged, Bakugo decides to give Midoriya exactly what he wants

[Mildly Dubious Consent Becomes Consensual]

May-December by Disney_Princess_Izuku ( M | 8,291+ | 2/3 )

Midoriya Izuku is quirkless, a single father, and a Beta to boot.

If that’s so, of all the people in the world, just why did Bakugou Katsuki (alpha, a Pro Hero in Training with a great quirk, and eighteen) picked Izuku as the poor recipient for his affections? There were a lot of omegas in Katsuki’s age range that he could pick, so all this attention and attempts on seduction the blond was using on Izuku made zero sense.

He really should have cleared up that childhood crush with Katsuki when he had the chance. Flattered as he was, he really couldn’t accept Katsuki’s… proposals.

Problem was: the interested twitch in Izuku’s pants was telling a different story.

[Age Difference]

Birthday Secrets by DMMegsie ( E | 8,815 | 1/1 )

During their first year, with all the hectic events, birthday celebrations fell to the wayside. However, now in their second year, the class is trying to celebrate everyone’s special date…. except for a certain explosive temper student.

Katsuki Bakugou didn’t really celebrate his birthday through middle school and never told anyone when the date was.

It was only when some of the class realizes that Izuku Midoriya knows, that trouble starts brewing. It also brings the question to mind of: Why does Katsuki hate his birthday in the first place?

SeriesPart 1 of Only Comes Once a Year

[Underage]

Young Blood by Lilith von Beilschmidt (LilithK) ( E | 5,981 | 1/1 )

Bakugou hadn’t gone to class and his mother asks his neighbour, Izuku Midoriya to ask for his due homework. Of course, she doesn’t know about the tense relationship between those two… And neither does Midoriya know about what was Kacchan doing when he came into his room. A little one-shot fanfic, basically a pwp because I wanted them to masturbate each other. That’s it.

[Underage]

Top hero by pixiebob ( E | 2,579 | 1/1 )

He had expected Deku to be sweet and innocent.

Alright, Deku is sweet.

He always smiles at him, he loves to cuddle, and he is just so open with his feelings he can say the cutest things and make Katsuki feel like exploding from embarassement.

But fuck innocent.

Midoriya Izuku is all sloppy kisses, plush lips trailing on neck, breathy laughs, hands under shirt.

I Miss You by kayjscage ( E | 5,618 | 1/1 )

Izuku didn’t think it would be so easy to start repairing a broken friendship, but Katsuki found him very persuasive.

To Mend A Hero by BluKrown ( E | 8,665 | 2/2 )

After being attacked by Shigaraki, Midoriya has been recovering.A week has gone by and Bakugo is obviously concerned about it.

[Underage | Past Rape/Non-Con]

[On Hiatus] When It Isn’t Like It Should Be by gobeyond ( M | 2,461+ | 3/? )

Jesus, what is wrong with this world. How the fuck did Deku end up an alpha and I’m the omega?

Katsuki had always been sure he would present as an alpha and Deku would be an omega. But what happens the results are actually the last thing he was expecting?

[Underage]

you have nothing to hide from me by QueerPinoy ( E | 2,582 | 1/1 )

Midoriya Izuku is ashamed of who he is. Who… they are? Who she is? He’s still not sure but he sure as hell doesn’t want to think about it right now. He pushes his femininity away like it’s a shameful thing, something to stay hidden, keep to himself. Sometimes he slips, lets a gesture through. Once he even painted his nails and kept them on for a whole day – black, an acceptable nail color for a boy going through his teenage angst. But this, the Izuku, he saw looking at himself in the dress he had mail-ordered, is his secret. The dress doesn’t quit him quite right – it drapes where it should be tight, falls too low on his torso, but it’s still precious and he still grins a stilted smile when he looks at himself in the mirror. No one would ever know about this dress. No one would ever know how he felt.

Bakugou Katsuki is the opposite. He could probably be stealth if he wasn’t so bombastic about who he is. He doesn’t even whisper it, doesn’t just tell his friends – he yells it out. “How the fuck am I more of a fuckin’ man than you?” “I’ve got more balls than you without even fucking having any!” He never bothers hiding. He has no shame. Izuku yearns to know what that’s like.

SeriesPart 3 of bakubowl

Belatedly by beebuzz ( E | 4,911 | 1/1 )

“It wasn’t a preposterous question. They’d done Things, plenty of things after years of pining and tension abruptly vanished, but never this.”

The boys fumble through their first time together with a lot of uncertainty and a heavy amount of taunting.

SeriesPart 2 of Steadfast

Hero Pants by zubateatscakes ( T | 1,077 | 1/1 )

Rated T for the first part. Katsuki and Izuku are about to do it for the first time, but then Bakugou notices something that completely turns him off.

True Colors by creatiwriter ( E | 4,051 | 1/1 )

Katsuki Bakugo has never been good at showing his true feelings, but that doesn’t stop Izuku Midoriya from trying.

You Talk Too Much by DastardlyDaisy ( E | 3,215 | 1/1 )

Bakugou and Midoriya have a strange relationship

[Underage]

stranger things by failbender ( M | 945 | 1/1 )

They’ve been dating for two months now, but sometimes it’s still strange.

Prompt fill: “You were never just my friend.”

SeriesPart 1 of prompt drabbles!

It Started With An Apple Slice by illu_nii ( E | 8,184 | 1/1 )

Was it for better or for worse? Usually I could tell. But this time, Kacchan wasn’t giving me any hints. Of course his actions toward me lately have been rather concerning for my friends, but to me it was just how Kacchan was. It was normal…

Right?

Birthday Surprises by DMMegsie ( E | 8,946 | 1/1 )

It has been two months.

School and the end of a term has really kept both Izuku and Katsuki apart with the exception for brief moments here and there in private.With their budding relationship a secret, and Izuku’s birthday on the horizon, it is only natural they’d want to take things further.

This is a sequel to the fic Birthday Secrets.

SeriesPart 2 of Only Comes Once a Year

[Underage]

Chapter 1 of Love in a Week by anonymousCat ( E | 450 | 1 out of 4 )

A series of one shots for katsudek week.

Learning to live by Luciel (Bananenfisch) ( M | 2,890+ | 3/? )

No man was created equal. Midoriya Izuku learned this harsh reality at the age of eight. It was not the diagnosis that he was quirkless, which shook his life.

No, it was not this diagnosis that destroyed his life. It was something much more serious.

or

where All Might is Midoriyas father. All is nice and peachy until Midoriya gets sick and they have to deal with the consequences and then Bakugo fucking Katsuki steps into Izukus life and becomes Izukus own special Hero.

[Major Character Death]

Endeavors of the Mind by Kattfish ( M | 22,027+ | 3/? )

Bakugo and Midoriya both struggle with different aspects of their newfound relationship. Katsuki wants to be more open with his affections for Deku, but is hindered by his intimacy issues. Izuku covets Kacchan’s affection, but is too afraid of being overbearing.BakuDeku-centric with mentions of KiriShido and TodoMomo. Yaoi. M/MLemon flavored chapters.

same ol’ mistakes by dekuberry ( M | 483 | 1/1 )

Izuku felt reborn, under a gaze he has never seen before.

Worth the Embarrassment by Zeekcat101 ( E | 2,771 | 1/1 )

Bakugou wants Midoriya to train NOW! Midoriya doesn’t even get to use the bathroom before he’s being dragged away, which ends up being both a curse and a blessing.

Fuckin’ Cleveland Ohio by QueerPinoy ( E | 2,377+ | 1/? )

Katsuki had a stupid, wonderful idea, and, of course, Deku had to suffer through it too.

consent is sexy by The_Potatoe ( M | 300 | 1/1 )

In which Katsuki and Izuku are very in love, and value communication.

Delicate by maiume( T | 554 | 1/1 )

Izuku waited for it for so long, he couldn’t help being anxious.

All Eyes on You by ibreatheakaashi ( M | 4,254+ | 1/? )

“Bakugou!” Uraraka pulls on him, forcing him to trail behind him. He hangs back, getting a clear look of him. He looked the same, same blonde wild hair, unable to be contained- just like him. His piercing red eyes stared directly at him, they were hardening and unmerciful, just as he remembered.

His sleeveless black and grey plaid jacket, showing of his bare arms.They were still muscled, he suspected it was due to Kirishima well being. Underneath his plain white shirt nearly see through, the jeans he wore couldn’t possibly be anymore tighter, hell they looked good.

—

aspiring ballet dancer Midoriya Izuku dreams of following in his mother’s footsteps, he wants to become the best. when he gets into Julliard, his dreams become true one step at a time. he finds out that his childhood friend Bakugou Katsuki, a talented hip-hop violinst is also attending.he believes he changed. but did he really? or is he the same arrogant boy he met 5 years ago? can they work together and rebuild their friendship, and if so than will he fall to him?

Инструкция by Explodocat ( E | 5,422 | 1/1 )

Каччан не так идеален, и в первый раз у него не получается.

How are we doing? We have a Submitter Feedback Form for anyone who wants to give us a piece of their mind! Thank you in advance if you complete it. If you have never sent an ask, but want to give us feedback, we have a Follower Feedback Form, too!

[beanyboobee]

The Prince and his Witch, Chapter 1  (Prinxiety)

Ship:Prinxiety (RomanxVirgil)

Setting:Fantasy AU

Plot:

 Prince of the Cosalona, Prince Roman Sanders , is set to be the next in line for the throne. As his father fall’s ill, He is left to be crowned early, however there is a catch, In order to inherit the crown he must be married. The only problem, Roman has trouble settling down, and in return has had many crushes that all ended in vain, He eventually gave up on searching for love, that was- until an old frienimie showed up before him... 

Meet Virgil Anxly, The son of a well known Sorcerer and Healer, His Father is close friends with the newly ill king, and since a young age has been dragged to the palace as his Father was summoned by the King, let it be for assistance or friendly chats. In return he had the unfortunate fate to be forced into the presence of Prince Roman, an- (In Virgils words) self-obsessed, spoiled, idealist. 

However, They haven't seen each other since the age of 15, now 22, He is dragged back to the Palace, and when face to face with who he considered ‘the bane of his existence’ he feels- odd... 

Will feelings finally bloom between these two? or will they be stuck in their childish hatred? 

And when an old enemy shows up to crash the party, Leaving Virgil under the effects of a curse, and Roman having no way of knowing how to reverse the effects, what will become of our two protagonists?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Inspired by “The Swan Princess.” mostly the song “far longer than forever” from it. Ive seen obsessed with it for ages now, and my mind wont rest till i make a fic on it, however i dont feel like making a full fic right now, so instead im going to focus on a two-shot, (maybe) But if you guys like the idea and wish for me to expand on it. Please do let me know and ill see what i can do ;))

Also sorry if this chapter is poorly written, it is literally 3am and i am so tireeed i just needed to get this out of my system.  WARNING next chapter is basically what ties everything together and explains why the parents are so set on these two getting together.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As the morning sun creeped over the peek of the city's old bell tower, The soft chatter from the streets below caused a buzz to fill the crisp mid-day air, As the market square began to fill up with stall-keepers who were either offering their assistance to those who seemed well paid, or those who littered the paths browsing the stalls in wonderment. 

Some children running along the cobbled roads, giggling and laughing as they did so, other’s seeming to be rolling the metal lining of a barrel top, as some sort of make-shift hoop.All in all it was a rather calm and  basic morning in a town with-in the kingdom of Cosalona, Busy, yet- with a relaxed aura.. 

Many wouldn't even spare a glance to the simple wooden carriage that seemed to carefully maneuver it’s way down the stone path, As with-in this certain city, passing carriage’s were the norm. Seeing as the town was so near the beautiful palace it was no surprise.

However despite the basic out-look of the middle-class carriage, inside it held two rather important figures in the eye’s of the king. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~inside the carriage~~~~~~~~~~~

With-in the carriage sat a young man around the age of 22, his pale hand rested against his cheek as he slanted by the window broadly, Locks of what seemed like a dark purple hair, grazed his forehead in almost a ticklish manner, as they softly fell, brushing against his dark lashes, Eyes that seemed the colour of Mahogany in the afternoons light, held a cloud of uncertainty and confliction. Linned in a fashion that could scream to anyone, 

‘I am rethinking all my decisions up to this point, at this very moment’

of course, that would probably be tad bit of exaggeration, however you would most likely not catch onto this unless looking rather closely for you see, there always seemed to be this sort of powdery black substance, beneath the water line of these fixated eyes. It seemed to act as some sort of distraction, from what? who knows. But- that is not what we are questioning right now.. 

Along with this young man, was a clearly older man, who seemed around is late 40′s, that- or if he was older, time was very good to him, He held a stern look, dark hair that was pulled back by a ribbon into some sort of messy bun, done by no doubt his wife, earlier that morning before the trip, a neatly groomed beard, that in all honesty didn't deserve the tital, as it seemed to be more of- stubble, then a beard in all honesty. 

heavy bags hung beneath his eyes, that almost seemed to resemble the boy’s in front of him, only- dark... and more full of- wisdom and knowledge. In his left hand was a simple, yet smooth, oak cane, that was firmly pressed his the carriage floor. 

All was silent in the mode of transport. Only the sound of the grinding stones beneath them and horses hoofs ahead of them, filling the air, with a soft, 

‘click- clok- click- kreec’

That is- until the older decided to speak-

His tone was deep, almost smooth, if it weren't for the obvious dryness of his throat. 

“Virgil.”

He called, grabbing enough of the younger’s attention, for the one clad in a dark cloke to straighten in his seat, gaze dancing towards the wiser gaze. A hum of reconcision leaving his lips. This was enough for the hard gaze of the gent to soften, 

“you’ve been rather quite. I know you dont enjoy these trips but-” he paused.       “They will help you grow as a healer- i hope you know this, i only do it in your best interest... but just this once- please- Please try to get along with the Prince,”

The boy now known of Virgil made a look is displeasure, and opened his mouth to speak, only to be stopped once again by the partially grey haired male. 

“I know! you dont like him! hate him even- but just for me, please, dont cause a ruckus.. im sure you're old enough to realize- he might be going through a rough time, with his father falling ill, and he could use a hand, and seeing as he will be the future ruler. it would do you some good to stay in his good books, you always wanted to be a top notch healer right?” 

his tone was stern yet had a fatherly softness to it, as he kept eye contact with the smaller.

Virgil didn't feel a need to reply to that, He knew his father was correct, so instead gave a light nod, moving his gaze back towards the window. Taking this as a sign of a finished conversation, The aged man gave a small smile, and a satisfied hum, about to return his gaze to the carriage window also, before a quieter voice spoke up, still deep, but with a softness to it, almost shy. 

“i’ll try, But i dont make any promises. “ 

The Fathers gaze shifted towards the young adult in surprise, before letting out a breathy chuckle, followed by a few coughs.

“That is all i can ask of you son, try. Besides, who knows~ by the end of this you two might be the opposite of what you began as” 

A smirk itched it’s way to his lips, a mischievous glint shinning in the old souls eyes, 

This simple statement seeming to steer something up in the black and purple haired boy, as he jolted up so fast, his sharp cheek bones now on full display, as his pale complexion turned into a crimson painting,                                               A sound that resembled that of a stumbling fool left his lips as he tried to find his words, once the words were found they were spat out in a frenzy,

“if by that you mean dead? then please!”

~~~~~~~~~~At the palace~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“MOTHER PLEASE! YOU MUST BE JOKING!” 

echoed through the halls, in a tone that almost seemed scandalized. 

The sheer surprise of the the loud exclamation causing a near by maid to almost drop the tray of china she carried. However she was lucky enough to have fast enough reflexes to balance out the tray before any mishaps. 

Sighing in relief, her gaze moved down the hall to the source of the disturbance, knowing damn well who that voice belonged to, if you were you were to follow it, it would no doubt lead you towards the study, that currently held what most would call, an Average looking Queen, and her seemingly scandalized son.

The Queen stood tall, a gloved hand raised to her lips as she did her best to hid her amused smile, by unfolding a white pristine fan, with a quick flip, aware that her amusement would only fuel her sons dramatic moment. 

Dark eyes somehow remaining calm as ever, as she watched the Prince pace the room, arms frailing about and waving madly, as he ranted, The Queen had learned to tune out of these ramblings, as most of the time, it was simply him rephrasing the same sentence on repeat, using a variety of different words to express his distraught and aggravated state.

I mean, of course, How dare she, his own Mother! suggest such a vile thought! the thought of- of- BEFRIENDING! that creature of the night! that- that! irritating! INSUFFERABLE! LITTLE WITCH! that somehow always found a way to get under Roman’s skin when ever he decided to make an appearance!

Of course- he supposed it wasn't compleatly like Virgil had a choose- he himself didn't seem to want to be anywhere near Roman either. It was simply for their parents convineance, Much to Roman’s dismay, he didn't take very kindly to Mr.Dark and gloomy. Of course- it had been many years since they had last seen each other.. even so! no one could make such a drastic change to make his company any sort of bearable. HE WASN'T EVEN ATTRACTIVE!                   ( in Romans eye’s anyway.)

Non the less the pacing continued, His Mother decided that she should shut her son down now, before things got too out of hand, so with a gentle sigh, she clasped the fragile fan down to her opened, and gloved palm. The sound of the slap loud enough, to drag Roman’s attention towards her, silencing him, and keeping him in place, arms lowering as his peircing Pine green gaze, caught to her Oak wood own.

“My dear one, you can rant all you like, but i am simply doing this for your own benifit. The Anxly family are very good to us, and in return we keep them as our family healer’s and sourceres, And we expect when you take over, to do the same. The both of you, are no longer children so please dont act as such, you will be personally meeting Virgil in the Gardens any hour now! so please! go get ready! Unless you plan to give off an unprofessional appearance.”

with a few steps forward, she raised a hand, and brushed a Tawny brown, stray curl from Romans temple, brushing it behind his ear, her gaze lingering on him for a quite moment, before she sighed openly, speaking once more, only this time more quieter.

“i know you two never started off on the right foot, but im sure this time will be different, from what i’ve heard he has turned into quite the gent! believe it or not.”

she couldn't help but praise, removing her hand to brush back a strand of her own light hair, that fell from behind her ear, 

“just- give it a chance. you know William is a good friend to your Father’s.” 

The Queen added, a sadness almost seeming to gloss over her gaze, at the mention of the King, thats what broke Roman. 

Seeing his mother in such a state he knew he would have to give in, But meeting in the gardens? he didn't see the point? shouldn't they be meeting somewhere more professionally? and why was everyone so hooked up on Virgil? unless-

a deep frown carved it’s way onto the Prince’s lips, squinting slightly, in almost a suspicious glare, as he spoke his thoughts out loud. 

“Mother, You're making this sound an awful lot like a potential suitor...”

That is when the Queen froze, Her cheeks pinkening ever so slightly, as her gaze moved just above Roman’s shoulder, looking as though she didn’t know what to say, Roman knew this look very well, and he didn't like what it was implying...

~~~~~~~~~1 hour till the long awaited meeting~~~~~~~

“I REFUSE TO KISS HIS HAND AGAIN! NOPE! NO! DENIED! ONCE WAS ENOUGH! WE MAY OF BEEN 12 BUT IM STILL TRAMTISED!!”

Roman complained loudly, As the tailor circled him, pinning and re-stitching,The white and scarlet finery, A small bundle of laughter leaving said tailor, as he listened to the Prince’s ramblings, 

“Im sure it isn’t as terrible as you’re making it out to be my Prince! i for one know Virgil personally, and he isn't that bad, He is actually quite sweet!”

 He hummed, sticking a pin into the small sponge patch that was attached to his arm, using a tightly secure blue ribbon for security, before reaching up and pushing up the circle lenses glasses, that were managing to slip down his nose, Blue eyes looking up through his lashes, from his place kneeling on the floor, grinning slightly. 

This however only made Roman whine even more, 

“Patton! you're not helping my case here! my case being! there is no way in all the 6 kingdoms i would ever even consider Tall,Dark and dreary a candidate for a friend never mind a husband!”

The prince all but huffed, arms crossing out of habbit, only to quickly straighten them out into a T pose once more, with a yelp, as 3 small pearl headed pin prodded him sharply, giving our lovely prince a small jump. 

“Heheh sorry kiddio! only speaking my mind “

The tailor couldn't help but muse, his gaze moving back down to the task at hand, re hemming this cursed hem of the princely jacket.                                       A half hearted glare was shot Pattons way by none other then Roman,

Before the Queen who was quietly observing this interaction spoke,

“My son i am not asking you to marry him, i simply wish for you two to talk things out and maybe get along. you managed it when you were bother 5! im sure you can do it once again, and if a little bit of woowing! happens along the way, then so be it, a point to me, if not. I’ll be satisfied knowing you have a allay thats a gifted healer.”

she explained further, having almost a tiredness to her voice, like she had explained this many times, even so, she couldn't deny this feeling she had inside, that somehow- she could feel That Roman was meant to meet Virgil, that there was meant to be something more between them. Then solid hatred.

She saw it the first day the two met.. when Roman took that shy boy’s hand,Smiling brightly as he introduced himself, and how he thought Virgil was pretty, before finally ledding the quite child, who looked at Roman in awe,down the long corridor, The small prince exclaiming how they were going to play in the garden.                     

To their final meeting at 15, where she could swear she saw Virgil nearly reach for Roman’s hand when walking down that exact same corridor only to retract it just as fast. Or how when Roman fell and cut his knee, After Virgil said he hadn't gotten the chance to test his healing on any-body yet, These small things, They didn't think she noticed, but- she did. 

Even so, she couldn't deny, that right now all of this was seeming like a waste of energy, She knew her son was stubborn, she blamed herself on that one, But she couldn't help it, she just had this feeling...

Roman stared back at the middle age women, his frown still playing against his lips, He knew he had no way of escaping this situation so instead. Let out a breath of air, 

“look fine, i’ll play along with your little ‘be nice’ charade”                                       his eyes rolled for emphasis on his un-satisfaction.

“BUT! i will NOT have any interest in him, not before,nor after this meeting. He is simply a possible ally. nothing more, nothing less. so please- dont get your hopes up Mother” he huffed.

His Mother smiled,

 “of course Roman! dont worry about a thing dear, i’ll keep my hopes low” 

she sighed in contentment, he gaze landing on Pattons, earning a grin from the tailor, who she has come to welcome with open arms.                      She simply smiled back, they both knew. Knew something was about to unfold from right under their noses.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~With Virgil and his fatherly unit~~~~~

It had been approximately 40 minuets since they have arrived, and with no time to spare, Virgils Father had opened up all their chest’s of clothing and ordered Virgil to change into something more proper when meeting the Prince,

He didn't quite understand why, seeing as in their previous meetings Virgil simply wore his usual cloke and some old clothes, messy, unkempt hair, and over all looked like a mess. Why was now any more important then those times? However he didn't dwell on the thought any longer, settling for the explanation of, They were older now, and Roman would soon be King, So it was only right to be proper in his presence, Even so,

Virgil knew that as soon as they were out of sight from their parents insults would more then likely be thrown. Shins kicked and bruised, the usual. 

So without any hassle, Virgil began to change, tugging on the Mulberry colored shirt, buttoning it up carefully, worried he might miss a button, or crinkle the shirt if he moved to fast, after all, Patton did work hard to make it and sent it all the way out to him, earlier that year. 

He was almost shocked it still fit, He then continued to change in silence,

black waist coat, raisin colored suit pants, brushed out hair,(for once styles, due to fathers orders) and finally his good old, tattered cloke, black in color, and decorated with different patches, all different shades of purple. 

Once his father seen him leave the changing area, he lit up more than Virgil had ever seen him, it almost made him flush, However his embarrassment was cut short when his Father whipped out a wash cloth and he knew what was coming, no matter how many times he pleaded, it was futile, His black under eye powder was cleaned away. well most of it was, there was still some under his eye, that gave a slightly smoky effect, 

Virgil felt naked without it, but he suppose still having a little bit of it, was better then having none of it. So he sucked it up, and sighed looking to his Dad, as they exited their room, beginning the departure, down the halls towards a familer garden, it wasn't till then, Virgil asked out loud,

“why is it you wanted me to get all dressed up? Princey and i are just talking over our differences right?”

He couldn't help himself in asking, This caused the older beside him to stop for a moment, cane making a very distinctive sound when it touched the tile, He seemed to be thinking over something and Virgil wondered what, That is- untill he got his answer, and when he did- he couldn't stop himself from stumbling backwards, he was shocked to the point he didn't see, nor hear Patton from ahead of them, instead he took one deep breath and took off in the opposite direction.

[ofjcsie]

werd. it meme, kayla, with yet another muse. this is my bad bitch josie, lets get to know her shall we

「 ISKRA LAWRENCE, CISFEMALE, TWENTY-FOUR, JESY NELSON. 」┈did you read that latest viral gossip issue on JOSIE PRYOR? she is the VOCALIST in ETHEREAL, one of my favorite POP groups. they’ve been releasing music for ONE YEAR now, but viral gossip has only been talking about them for the last YEAR. get this, i think i heard SHE MARRIED A STRANGER IN LAS VEGAS. they’re known as the THE CATACLYSMIC of the music industry, since they have a rep for being BENEVOLENT but TENACIOUS, but who knows. maybe that will change once they become #1.

firstly im gonna apologize if this is all over the place. im gonna try to organize it but i cant make any promises.

BASICS

full name is josephine iridessa pryor, but goes by josie for the most part

named after her maternal grandfather, joseph.

originally from tallahassee, florida. ur basic suburban middle class white family. one older sister. her mom owned her own bakery and her dad was a paralegal.

ex high school cheerleader

one tough cookie

AESTHETIC

leather jackets, skin tight jeans, fishnets, roses with the thorns still on the stem, red nail polish, fangs, messy hair, scars covered by tattoos, the moon at midnight, high heeled boots, dancing like nobody’s watching, and structured handbags.

HEADCANONS (?)

literally ppl are always like “josie can’t sing. she’s inconsistent.” or “she’s the ugly one” or rlly mean Ugly comments about her body and just general ugly body shaming. like she Knows she’s not the same size as her bandmates but like ???? she loves herself??? it took her a long time to get to this self love level and she loves her girls so she’s always telling people to fuck off

literally gets in trouble with management for telling body shamers in her comments or ppl that are generally rude to her and/or ethereal to fuck off. probably has blocked some accounts (even stan ones sdscdcs) like jesy has

cute but will 1000000000000% fight u if u make her mad, say bad things about ppl she cares about, or start body shaming

body posi, self love, and self care activist and supporter of the #metoo movement as it relates to her past

since her mom had a bakery, she worked there in hs and knows her way with cupcakes

hates wine & has never done hard drugs

i rlly cant stress enough how she will fight anyone and everyone for being an asshole

Straight (shes like my only straight character it’s Wild)

never had a serious relationship because she’s always been guarded but she has been in love, or at least thought it was love

curvy > plus sized bc she is by no means “plus” and knows this. by measurement/fashion standards she is between straight size and plus, so just go with curve/curvy

DETAILS (?)

TRIGGER WARNING FOR BODY/FAT SHAMING & SEXUAL ASSAULT:  josie’s curves developed faster than other girls her age, so even in like 6th grade ppl were calling her rlly ugly names because her hips had grown and saying things about her, even going as far as slut shaming and oversexualizing her developing body like gross. around this time someone she thought was a friend would repeatedly touch her without her permission (also she was like 13 and knew absolutely no better than ‘uh he’s my pal so i guess it’s alright if he touches between my legs when i dont want him to). it rlly tore her down and she felt like she was nothing. that low self esteem rlly followed her into high school. the bullying kinda morphed more into unwanted glares from boys, girls calling her a sl*t, and ppl just being generally mean because of her body shape. her sophomore year she tried out for the jv cheerleading squad bc she really just wanted to be involved and have school spirit, plus she had a friend who was doing it. things were rad, she made the team, all was good, she rlly liked it and even wanted to go out for varsity the next year. junior year came around and she was on jv again, but their coach ended up quitting so the trainer stepped in. he was nice to all the girls bc he’d known them and was working with them but rlly this was just grooming tbh, like he kinda made it seem like he was hte only one in their corner if they were having problems. she got a weird feeling from him but folks were just kinda like “eh you’re over-reacting, it was just a hug” but when they went away to cheer camp it was like damn what a change. he got a little bit violent and ut was just generally a Not Fun experience, like yelling at the girls and embarrassing them to the point where other coaches and such were like “uh he needs to chill tf out”. to make everything worse one of the nights he knocked on the door of the room josie was staying in, saying he wanted to talk to her, she let him in and long story short he got handsy. when she told school authorities what happened, it was her word against his, but after testimony from teammates about his behavior at camp and everything, the school gave him an ultimatum: resign or be fired and go to court.. lmao guess which he took. so basically he got away with molesting her and being an abusive bag of dicks. END OF TRIGGER

for a long time she blamed herself bc she thought she was too naive or maybe if she hadn’t opened the door, or it was all her fault and she let it happen. sometimes she still has self doubt moments where she thinks about “but what if....” or she says “at least it wasn’t as bad as...” she’s very passionate about the metoo movement tho, and abusers being held accountable for their actions (no matter their gender or sexuality)

she doesnt really talk about what happened in detail, but she has been vocal about the metoo movement and she stands with her #MeToo sisters because she’s been there

since cheer was like “aha nop never again” senior year she got involved in the drama club. she’d sang in church choir before, but nothing Super Serious. but the fall production of grease really caught her eye, so, she auditioned and voila, Sandy. 

after graduation, she started community college in musical theater, still working at the bakery but she fuckin wanted to leave florida (dont... we all??) so she used the money she saved from the bakery, bought a one way bus ticket, and ended up in austin texas... not exactly where she wanted to be, but it was out of florida.

she started singing at bars and trying to get involved with local small theater productions/companies, but that really just was not cutting it. so she asked her dad for some moolah and she moved to los angeles. for a long time she lived in a very very shitty apartment complex (if u rememerbr YEARS ago there was a show on the cw called the complex... it was about struggling young actors/musicians living in one place.. lowkey it was good but it got cancelled before season 2 wow shocker amirite) her agent was kinda bad, like joey’s from friends, but the one thing he got right was booking her an audition for a new girl group that a label was putting together. and boom, ethereal.

AS for the vegas thing lmAO.... i’ve been feeling like it was kind of recent. like, ethereal had already formed or was right at the beginning of the four girls coming together. (i still gotta work out those kinks) but essentially she went to vegas and on a Wild night, married a stranger. all she remembers from the memory clips are they met at the casino, there’s a chapel, back in her hotel room, a charge on her credit card for the honeymoon room service package, and the next morning she woke up alone in bed with a huge fuckin headache and a cheap ring on her finger. she was 22 and dumb. but aint we all?? she’s still technically married, but does NOT wear a ring or talk at all about having a husband because she doesnt know the dude. like literally can’t find him lmao, can’t find him to get that shit annulled or file for divorce. therefore, technically married.

SOME WANTED CONNECTIONS

i dont have a Ton but some that i’d love to have established are a mentor (probably someone who is older or more accustomed to fame), a roommate or ex-roommate (could be multiple), a celebrity crush (again, probably more fmaous), someone she tells everything to (they’d probably know about the vegas thing and her history regarding sexual assualt)

other than that, hmu or like this if u wanna plot??? im down for anything????

[littlelovelymemes]

✰ * º ❛ more popular text posts starters. ❜

‘  plot twist: you let someone in and they don’t fuck you over  ’ ‘  you would not believe bill nye... if ten million Science Guys  ’ ‘  the lack of cuddling i am experiencing right now is upsetting  ’ ‘  why was shrek’s soundtrack so incredible like who sat down and decided that a movie about an ogre would have a beautiful rufus wainwright ballad followed by a smash mouth/eddie murphy cover of i’m a believer and how can i thank them  ’ ‘  i justify my impulses by the fact i’m going to be dead one day and none of it truly matters in the grant scheme of things it’s that “treat yo self” nihilism  ’ ‘  all i do is listen to music really loudly while i walk in circles and daydream :/  ’ ‘  but you are an entire universe and i am a bigger cooler universe where everyone skateboards  ’ ‘  my insecurities have destroyed so many opportunities   ’ ‘  maybe you and i exist together on a different wavelength than the rest of the world. perhaps, we are on a separate frequency.  ’ ‘  will u still love me when im no longer young and ok looking  ’ ‘  ʸᵉᵃʰᶜᵃⁿ ᴵ ᵍᵉᵗ ᵘʰʰʰʰʰʰ some fuckin physical affection  ’ ‘  stop thinking about everything so much, you’re breaking your own heart.  ’ ‘  concept: me traveling the world alone, figuring myself out, taking tons of cute aesthetic pictures, befriending kind strangers, drinking a cup of tea on a cute cafeteria, and trying out things for the first time.  ’ ‘  holy shit thank god vine is gone like can you imagine all the vines about fidget spinners  ’ ‘  me: reads the bad reviews of a book i didn’t like to seek validation  ’ ‘  if you think you’ve hit rock bottom, just remember that my bank once froze my accounts because I bought a healthy ready meal at my local supermarket and they classed it an “uncharacteristic purchase”  ’ ‘  i’m a dumbass and that’s just how it is  ’ ‘  y'all actually seek validation from people that don’t give a fuck about ur feelings??? LMAO bitch me too why are we like this  ’ ‘  special thanks to all the 10 year olds out there for making all those music lyric videos on youtube  ’ ‘  i am so gentle and kind hearted... and stupid  ’ ‘  there she goes again being over dramatic and by she i mean me  ’ ‘  just letting everyone who’s ever told me a secret know that its safe with me (and my mom)  ’ ‘  me n my eyebrows…………we been thru a lot  ’ ‘  i wanna jump off a building and not die just relieve stress by slamming onto the sidewalk and then get up and go get a slurpee or something  ’ ‘  all I want is vintage lingerie and good skin  ’ ‘  nsfw: nobody’s safe from wonderwall  ’ ‘  do you ever wish you could unmeet someone…. like,, we had fun times,, but it’s time for me to wipe my memory Sorry Bud  ’ ‘  date a boy who reads. or better yet date a 37 year old recent divorcee with a highly diversified stock portfolio who’s looking to feel young again and can treat you to what you deserve  ’ ‘  if you knew me in 7th grade i’m sorry  ’ ‘  *cha cha’s real smooth away from academic responsibilities*  ’ ‘  anyone else feel like they’re inherently worth less than everyone else  ’ ‘  be open with your love and loud with your laughter. life is so much brighter when lived genuinely.  ’ ‘  i really wish i could get a refund for all the love i’ve wasted on people like! repay my emotional labour your bill is in the mail  ’ ‘  i’m such a tease. i’ll tell you how bad I want to fuck you and then probably fall asleep.  ’ ‘  i’m crying my best  ’ ‘  i want to be known as someone who’s full of love and radiates light  ’ ‘  i’m in philosophy and were talking about how you can doubt everything’s existence except for your own consciousness and the guy that sits in front of me just turns around tears streaming down his face and goes “i am on so many drugs”  ’ ‘  how fucked up would it be if an astronaut was coming back to earth and everybody hid for a bit  ’ ‘  some kid just skateboarded down my street crying  ’ ‘  do you ever get in an “i don’t know” phase in your life. where you literally don’t have a solid answer to anything. you. just. don’t. know.  ’ ‘  which of the three pillars of modern music is your favourite, burnin’ up by the jonas brothers, beautiful soul by jesse mccartney or lucky by britney spears  ’ ‘  i guess at this point i should just consider dating myself  ’ ‘  there is no doubt in my mind i’m really that bitch  ’ ‘  after you hit 21, you start forgetting your age cause ain’t nothing else to look forward to, besides sweet death.  ’ ‘  why am i not currently in the italian countryside with a fruit plate wearing a light linen dress? unacceptable  ’ ‘  hands are weird because one of them can do absolutely everything without a problem and the other one can’t even hold a spoon  ’ ‘  remember to drink a fucking shit ton of water every miserable day of ur life  ’ ‘  is he………you know…….*makes football throwing motion*….straight?  ’ ‘  mATH, deATH -- wake up america  ’ ‘  does anyone else have a resting bitch face™, but kinda enjoys looking intimidating  ’ ‘  time flies when u take a 2hr depression nap in the middle of the day  ’ ‘  roses are red, i’m going to bed  ’ ‘  u know when ur hairs greasy and it makes u feel so so so bad about urself. and ur entire life. everything is awful bc my hair is greasy  ’ ‘  i’m just so glad the word “ugh” was invented  ’ ‘  just another day of loving with all my heart and believing in the universe  ’ ‘  you know when dogs sit outside with their face turned towards the sun and their eyes closed and they look so relaxed and when you pet them they’re warm? that’s how I want to feel always  ’ ‘  come into bed and listen to the rain with me  ’ ‘  people are so petty and then here i am, me, an angel,   ’ ‘  can someone please be proud of me like fuck i’m trying  ’ ‘  concept: a really nice Italian restaurant but it’s spelled “spagooter” on the menu and the waiters won’t take your order unless you pronounce it like that  ’ ‘  just found out neanderthal passed on the dna for depression and now we know why they stayed in caves and painted horses all fuckin day   ’ ‘  i want kids but i’m scared they’ll blame me if they’re ugly  ’ ‘  does anyone have any tips for not thinking about it  ’ ‘  “what’s a queen without her king?” well, historically, better  ’ ‘  i want something that doesn’t taste like alcohol but has a lot of alcohol in it  ’ ‘  my kink is getting some fuckin sleep  ’ ‘  i’m alive out of spite  ’ ‘  not to vent but: fuck  ’ ‘  i think i accidentally break my own heart a lot  ’ ‘  can’t wait to be balls deep in love  ’ ‘  why are there so many days?? i feel like we just had a whole day yesterday… they don’t stop  ’ ‘  i walked in on my 4 year old nephew sitting alone on his bed eating grapes in the dark and i didn’t even get a chance to say anything before he said “i don’t have answers”  ’ ‘  *adjusts my tinfoil hat* y’all are crazy  ’ ‘  do raccoons have people hands or do we have raccoon hands?  ’ ‘  mark your territory by crying on things  ’ ‘  any size titty is lit  ’ ‘  love lemon trees! i too am bitter but growing  ’ ‘  my only constant is the black hair tie around my wrist. no mans gonna be there for me like this hair tie has. no ones presence is gonna be as reassuring  ’ ‘  me???? tired???? sleepy??? yes constantly  ’ ‘  the box says “four servings” but my heart says one  ’ ‘  the lengths i would go to to both get attention and avoid it….astounding  ’ ‘  i hope everybody is doing their best even tho we’re all doomed  ’ ‘  young adult things: washing your colors with your whites because you don’t care you JUST don’t fucking care  ’ ‘  I just want to help out all the people with no money but i am people with no money  ’ ‘  bricks are just domesticated rocks  ’ ‘  being nice is so easy just do it  ’ ‘  lets start wearing cloaks and swords again. its time  ’ ‘  classes are like a high level dora the explorer episode. person up front asks a question, stares at you blankly for a few seconds, and then answers their own question.  ’ ‘  the average orgasm is 7 seconds. keeping a feral hog in your basement lasts for 5-16 years depending on your ability to care for it. the decision should be clear  ’ ‘  will i ever have my shit together  ’ ‘  i live in a time where a major selling point for food is that it uses “real” ingredients.  ’ ‘  “what the fuck” is an emotion now and its the only one i have  ’ ‘  it’s not a real party until you sneak away to the bathroom to question your existence as you stare at yourself in the mirror haha  ’ ‘  every hard day you make it through makes you one day closer to stranger things season 2  ’ ‘  assert your dominance by calling your friends by their student i.d. number  ’ ‘  i feel like each year has progressively gotten worse since the year of luigi ended  ’ ‘  um that’s u’re* not ur  ’ ‘  i wanna be a villain so I can just saunter everywhere. the heroes are always sprinting, always running. you ever seen darth vader run? hell no. and I ain’t about to either.  ’ ‘  i have nothing to say but will i shut up? No  ’ ‘  i cannot believe another week is like beginning we just finished one  ’

[sophiarmando-blog]

hey hi loves! i’m hannah or han, either is great! i’m nineteen, love chipotle and netflix,  i use she/her or they/them pronouns, i’m still speechless that i’m here like holy shit!! i’m still quaking in my boots and i’m so so so much ah, so scared and so joyful to be playing my bb!  i just have no words and i’m simply an awkward anxious noodle who writes too much, always. i can’t believe i’m here, i’m literally so grateful, blessed and honored to just be amongst you all and i, ah, anxiety!! i’m so psyched and jazzed! i have to go see a show and then take down the set and possibly have rehearsal as well tonight so i’m gonna be really really busy but i’ll be on mobile all day and then will be back on my laptop for hours bc i have no social life outside of rp and homework. but here’s her long bio and um um her muse blog has a ton of stuff and all of those things with her connections but pls pls pls IM me while I cry tears of joy.

estates enclosed by iron gates, glamorous garments only fashioned by those of the highest caliber, and gilded lifestyles of unfeigned extravagance – this is the life you’ve always dreamed of – or at least some semblance of it. your parents, however, lived lives of utter deprivation. they were deprived of the financial stability they worked so hard to provide for you, and in their youth, they weren’t exceptionally well off but you wereit was your father who saw to your family’s content. and though at times he could be a hard and somewhat brutish man, he was an honest worker – never once succumbing to depravity in order to make a living. although, with all that he endured throughout his life, it wouldn’t have been outrageous if he had. he had enough of working part time to make ends meet and began to pick up acting gigs among his shifts at the station.your mother was once a woman who thrilled in losing herself to blissful displays of ignorance. she was like a feather forever floating in the wind, with no moral compass pointing her due north. no one ever expected she’d bear a child, let alone raise one. it was always presumed she’d flee, merely adhering to the whispered tales of her heart and its demands that she avoid responsibility – to always know full fledged freedom. nevertheless, she did settle down, and she found that having a family filled her life with monumental joy. it gave her a sense of purpose, something she had long felt her life was lacking.they were always two very different people, ramona and santino armando but they brought you into the world, thus many years ago, they found love despite their differences.  you inherited your father’s intense desire for control and your mother’s innate beauty (some of her more notorious traits as well, though they hadn’t yet developed). you used both feats to your advantage and sought to conquer the world around you – to flip it inside out and make it something better – prettier. however, it was always a question of whether you desired to make it better for yourself, or those around you.you inherited your father’s intense desire for control and your mother’s innate beauty (some of her more notorious traits as well, though they hadn’t yet developed). you used both feats to your advantage and sought to conquer the world around you – to flip it inside out and make it something better – prettier. however, it was always a question of whether you desired to make it better for yourself, or those around you. you found that it was easy to make things work in your favor with the unmistakable allure you possessed. still, your puppeteering endeavors were always innocent, as you never harbored any ill intent, and it was enough for a little while – making yourself out to be the victim so others might be like putty in your hands, or exaggerating your benevolent nature so they’d feel obligated to be at your disposal. unfortunately, as storm clouds loomed above, you began to shed your beautiful and vibrant, yet aged petals, blossoming anew. your desire and need for more heeded to the change of season as well; specifically your sense of self-righteousness. she, ramona was a dreamer – always had been, for her parents taught her to be – her father especially. santino relentlessly stressed the importance of perseverance and self expression, as such a thing was a commodity throughout the span of his youth. both of his parents were junkies, and he grew up not knowing love, for he was born out of hate into a painfully lonely existence. he might have been condemned to the same fate as his parents had it not been for his exceptional drive and meeting ramona.the tale of her father’s upbringing and her parents’ ultimate love story has always been sophia’s number one motivator. that’s why when she looked up at the stars in all their ethereal beauty, searching for clarity, and procuring an almost psychedelic sensation, she knew. knew that she was destined for greatness, for she was born only out of love, hope, and pure intentions. she was born to make her parents proud and affluent in wealth, happiness, and everything in between. not the struggling part time actors, waitress and cops, so as the world around  fell into a deafening silence, her “calling” came to her like a whisper in the wind – head conjuring up some hazy, crepuscular depiction of her name up in lights. she drank in that image like it was a tonic of bottled sunshine, for it was soaked in liquid, golden glory. that particular magical day marked the beginning of something new. something white and pure like winter snow, something that made her heart reverberate and swell with a deep and perceptible yearning.though sophia sent money back and forth to her mother as she worked part time jobs as a math and science tutor at the local elementary school in between classes at the local university. she didn’t move far but far enough away for a bit of space., alcohol and drugs warped ramona and sophia’s relationship,  fueled a habit of her own; a deep resentment, a fear, an anger she hasn’t gotten rid of. , in meeting the ones she connected with, sophia shed her newly developed exterior – the sad, angry, bitter girl and adopted a new one. or rather, a plethora of exteriors, as it didn’t really matter who she was, so long as she wasn’t sad sophia who everybody ignored. she hated it – feeling like she could simply disappear and no one would notice. she hated the world, she hated that her father’s affair  had affected her so greatly and transformed her world into an ugly, bleeding thing, and more than anything, she hated that she carried so much hate in her heart. maya didn’t want to be herself anymore, so she decided not to be.when you are made up of nothing but a series of plausible facades you lose sight of yourself, and everything you’ve ever been. you lose your moral values – and ultimately, you lose everything that ever made you you. so you pour yourself into work. find faith resolve, resistance and safety in the stars, in your best friend, your roommate. your softness, your tenderness, your care on display, the resentment, the pain, the bubbling underneath. that she could never get out, never express to those around her. so she writes, love letters to the stars, every night in her journal, thanking them for their presence, the space, the wide open spaces, the silence that inhabit the night. the moon and the stars ever present unlike all the things in her life. she is kind, gentle, careful, compassionate but there is sorrow, deep sorrow as open and bleeding as the stars in the sky. she is growing, feeling and changing as she works to find utter serenity and peace amongst her reality. so she pours herself into the unknown. but there is softness in her self-doubt.  i feel compelled to also share and include a brief poem by sophie bowen, written in 2014 to round out the section.

Suddenly, a hole opens in the year and we slip into it, the riptide pull of strange, lonely dogs and broken phone lines. You forgive me if I mistake hunted for haunted, but I do like to rearrange things in my body every few years. Take a can of gasoline to the frayed and ghosted. Lights out. All hands on deck. Still you wonder why I keep losing my shoes in the road and coaxing cats in the alley with cans of tunafish and a flashlight. Why my contentment is beautiful, but highly improbable, sort of like four leaf clovers or an ice cream truck in the middle of the night. This tiny thing breathing between us that aches something awful. By summer, I am slipping all the complimentary mints in my coat pockets while you pay the check. Gripping the railings on bridges to keep diving over. Some dark dog in my throat when I say hello. - the hole is space, and sophia is lost in the sky, content with its beauty.

[fossadeileonixv]

Throwback Tuesday!

Marco_CT & Milano80 reminded me why we should spit every time we hear the name....Pirlo. Allow me to take you back in time....

Andrea Pirlo. One of the best Milan players ever. A true hall of famer who has won pretty much everything there is to win within the higher echelons of world football, that is above doubt and beyond discussion and not the subject matter for today's piece. What I wish to try and address is the creeping history revisionism that seems to be repeated often enough that it warrants a firm reply.

The thing is, we all want to remember our heroes as perfect, without stain or any sign of impurity. Its why I understand the almost religious fervour displayed by fan-boys (from here on referred to as Pirlophiles) to defend their hero whenever they feel he is being slighted or his legacy besmirched with a vicious defence of the one they call Il Metroniomo but you know what? They say you should never meet your heroes! So I thought I would look up his book and would attempt to wash away some the revisionist BS that gets mindlessly regurgitated by relying solely on the words of the man himself to see if I could get to the bottom of the hows and whys that lead to his departure.

For Pirlophiles, Pirlo is a martyr, a victim if you will of Maleficent Evil-Allegri who wanted him gone, pushing him out maybe due to some level of jealousy of Pirlo's fine mane of hair? During all the back and forths between Pirlophiles and those merely pointing out the truth you will hear that Pirlo was pushed aside, deemed surplus, got rid of..........insulted even! The gist of a Pirlophiles argument appears to be that we foolishly let go a "star" player still in his prime as witnessed at his two seasons at Juve & (allegedly) with the Azzurri. An elegant & skill-full player who was stupidly replaced with the blunt hammer that is Muntari. So lets see what the "thinking man's" footballer has to say:

During the discussions with Fester he was informed of the following:

"Andrea,  our coach Massimiliano Allegri reckons that if you stay, you won't be  able to play in front of the defence. He's got a different role in mind  for you. Still in midfield, but on the left."

Wait! Allegri reckoned he could still play Pirlo in the midfield? A different role even huh? Ok, fine. So how does that sound Andrea?

One small detail: I still thought I could give of my best playing in front of the defence. If the sea's deep, a fish can breathe. If you put him just under the surface, he'll get by, but it's not quite the same thing.

Aaaah right! You didnt want to play on the left! I get where you are coming from now! Got it!

"Even with you sitting on the bench or in the stand we've won the   league. And you know, Andrea, the strategy's changed this year. If you're over 30, we're only offering a year's extension."

This was applied to EVERY player over 30! But have to admit we have been inconsistent in applying it in following seasons.

Another small detail: I've never felt old, not  even at that very moment. Only indirectly did I get the impression that  people were trying to make out I was finished. Even now, I struggle to  get my head round their reasoning."Thanks, but I really can't accept.  There's a three-year deal on the table at Juventus."

What? You mean the club succeeding without you made you feel self conscious?

It was a polite ‘no' for Milan, without money even entering  the conversation that spring afternoon in 2011. Not once in those  30minutes was it ever mentioned. I wanted to be thought of as important,  a key player in the club's plans, not someone about to be thrown on the  scrapheap.

Wait, asking to be played on the left equates to being thrown on the scrap heap? Drama queen!

I got on well with everyone and had a normal kind of relationship   with Allegri - there was just something in the air. I recognised the   walls that over the years had sheltered and protected me, but now I was starting to see cracks. I could sense some kind of draught that was out to make me sick.

What? The fact that the club was about to win its first scudetto in ages, largely without you??

One of the things I've long maintained is that Pirlo should have gone sooner, the main reason being that he had quite clearly given up. I cant even remember in his last 2 seasons at Milan when he last scored a world class free kick and sitting in front of the back four he had become a complete liability. In certain games he was nothing more than an open door into our penalty box for the opposition. I can still recall one of the Milan derbies during the Mourinho era where Maicon was set loose on Pirlo, I remember squinting at the TV in pain at the pitiful, half assed performance, wishing that he would be subbed off. Again Pirlophiles wont entertain that there was ever a drop off in performance from him, there are a few that are willing to acknowledge this but will instead insist on blaming the rest of the squad for ....and let me get this right.....not moving enough for him!

So is it all in my imagination? Was Pirlo bored? Had he given up at Milan? Maybe he had been there too long?? Lets check with the man himself:

That inner urge to go somewhere else, to breathe a different air, became ever more pressing and intense. The poetry that had always surrounded me was now becoming routine. It   wasn't something I could ignore. Even the fans maybe wanted a bit of   relief. For so many years they'd applauded me at San Siro of a Sunday   (and a Saturday, a Tuesday, a Wednesday...), but now perhaps they wanted  to stick new faces in their Panini album, hear new stories being told.  They'd got used to the things I did, my movements, my creations. They weren't awestruck any more. In their eyes, the extraordinary was in real  danger of becoming normal.

Maybe im just reading this wrong? Or maybe he's talking about a one off thing, you know like when you have a bad day in the office??

It was, it seemed, the end of an era and I felt in need of something  new. Alarm bells had been ringing ever since the middle of what turned  out to be my last season at the club, one ruined by a couple of  injuries. I arrived at Milanello for training and realised that I  didn't want to go into the dressing room. Didn't want to get changed,  didn't want to work.

Oh dear.

I phoned my agent every day, especially in the period when I was supposed to be recovering from injury, but the desire to really throw myself into it just wasn't there. Or at least it wasn't the same as it had been at one time. Massimo Ambrosini and then Mark van Bommel were playing in front of the defence.

Nope! That sounds like someone half assed and not willing to give his all to me! Stll no mention of Muntari. Here Pirlo is talking about his final meeting with Fester, you know, the one where he received a pen.

We said our goodbyes without regret. In the space of half an hour (probably not even that), I was out of there. When you're in love, it's time you need. When the feeling's gone, having an excuse can help.

Clearly stating here that he was out of love with Milan, almost happy to be leaving Milan, I cant begrudge him that. It sounds like this was the perfect excuse he needed to jump ship. Fair enough.

For someone who I did genuinely hold in high regard for what he achieved  at Milan I was kinda surprised to read that he came close to leaving Milan twice and it even appears that he had at one point decided to join Capello at Madrid but was ordered to stay at Milan by his own agent...

And then my agent phoned me.

"Sign for Milan. Right now, they'll not let you leave."

"No...

"Yes."

"Ok, fine."

So our "legend" had actually made up his mind on joining Madrid, that in itself  didn't  piss me off as much as the the idea that while Milan where awaiting the  outcome of Calciopoli in 06-07 our man Pirlo was thinking of jumping  ship, thanks Champ!

One day you'd read that we were going to be relegated to Serie B, the next that we were looking at a 15-point penalty. The next again day they'd be talking about us handing back trophies and having our titles removed from the record books.

One thing I was sure of, though: I would never drop down to Serie B. And if I had to leave, I wouldn't feel like a traitor. You always want to be ambitious and play for a noble cause. There was no way I was going to pay for other people's sins, if that's what they turned out to be.

Sorry, but you sound like a traitorous S.O.B to me! So while the rest of us where worrying about our club.....

I, meanwhile, was floating between Milan and Real Madrid.

Facepalm!

I pictured myself in that white jersey. Pristine, and at the same time aggressive; a mean streak running through its unusual purity. My thoughts often wandered to the Santiago Bernabeu, the temple, a ground that struck terror into opponents.

WOW! At this point you actually have to remind yourself that this guy was still playing for Milan at the time! Is it any wonder that he looked so half-assed when you now know he might have been running around the San Siro dreaming of playing for Real Madrid?

It's a pity it went the way it did. I'd have signed for Real in a heartbeat. They're a club with more glamour than Milan; more prospects, more appeal, more everything. They strike fear in their opponents, whoever they happen to be. All that said, I had the consolation of winning the Champions League at the end of the season. It could have gone a lot worse.

Club legend huh? Ah well not joining the team of your dreams is consoled by winning another Champions League, he sounds hard done by!

The second time he pondered leaving is even better, the following is after he was pitched by Pep Guardiola.

As with Real Madrid (in fact, even more so than with Real Madrid), I'd have crawled to Barcelona on all fours. At that time, they were the best team in the world - what more needs to be said?

Pfft. Now you're beginning to sound like another bandwagoner I know! (God I wish Fester would take his pen back!)

I get that a player, any player is free to choose where he works and far be it for me to demand how a guy earns his money and supports his family but I still feel that Pirlo wrongly felt he was owed more by the club that helped make him who he is today.

When you take into account the fact that he clearly wasn't happy at Milan I feel it was only right that he move on, for me I just wish it had been a season or two sooner, I also wish Pirlophiles would stop re-writing history.....but we can only dream. I know it hurts but for all the guys who still insist on kissing his ass I wish you would wake up to the guy he really is. I for one wish he had pissed off to RM or Barca when he had the chance!

You kinda wonder about a guy who wanted to jump ship a number of times then had to be such a di#k about only getting a one year extension!

For the most rabid of Pirlophiles, there will be no doubt be alot of fingers being jammed in ears and eyes covered up as they try and keep out the truth but for Milanista, we should at the minimum be indifferent to a guy we once held in high regard. As for me, I'm done with Pirlo. We got as much out of him as he got out of us, there was absolutely no heartbreak involved as he clearly points out in his book. The one notion that completely by-passes Pirlophiles is that if was he was half the legend he is held to be he would have been open to playing in Serie B, the notion of him jumping ship makes him more Cannavaro (ship jumping p#ssy) than Del Piero (club legend). So now that Allegri has joined Juve I take extreme satisfaction in the knowledge that right about now the floppy haired moron is sweating about whether he can swallow playing on the left of the midfield or whether he suddenly needs "new air to breathe". :D

PS: I have a signed Pirlo shirt. If a Pirlophile wants to make me an offer get in touch at Pirlocankissmyass@gmail.com

AviA Out