#(im sad bc I still love the show and the characters I just like. am not nearly as obsessed with it as I was)

[freyaphoria]

now im curious what yandere hongjoong does for a living hehe also joong gifted hwa legos for his good behavior right? could you write something like yn being jealous bcs joong gifted hwa present and nothing for you?

Alexa, play Will you be my 벗? (8:09 sec) by Ateez -> Wooyoung: bimil~

I'm kidding, but since I'm thinking of writing the fic in series, I want it to be a surprise loll. But it's a job that suits his yandere character very well, you can guess it, right?

And I would like to express my love and gratitude to my dear @matzrionette for helping me find a title🩷

Jealousy Left Unwrapped

tw: jealousy!, yandere hongjoong, yan!seongjoong x reader

wc: 1540

taglist: @aim-blossom

"Why do you look so sad?" You swear he's doing it on purpose. He does it knowingly to make you jealous and drive you crazy. It doesn't take a genius to understand why you're upset.

"I am not." replied briefly and harshly. Your eyes were also on Seonghwa, who opened the gift package with excitement. "What's that tone of voice? Know your place." Your eye muscles had developed from rolling your eyes at Hongjoong during your stay here. After rolling your eyes at him, you were still hoping that he would give you a gift, too. After all, you were just as good as Hwa, okay you still didn't like Hongjoong but at least you tolerated him. Even this should have been rewarded.

"Joongie! You bought the set I wanted the most! Thank you so much!" Having finished unpacking, Seonghwa jumped on Hongjoong and hugged his neck. Your stomach dropped when Hongjoong said something to him like it was no big deal and kissed his cheek. For a moment, you thought that if Hongjoong was going to expect the same performance from you when he gave you a gift, you'd rather he didn't give a gift at all.

But then you thought again why he bought a gift for him and not for you. Why didn't he buy you anything? You've been behaving really well lately. You didn't try to escape, you were finishing your meals. Sometimes when Hongjoong hugged you, you didn't try to escape from his arms. You even wished him good night yesterday. Why didn't he buy you anything?

Was this jealousy? No way. You weren't crazy enough to be jealous that the man who kidnapped you was buying a gift for his other victim, who was just as crazy as himself, but not buying one for you.

Yes, you agreed. You were jealous. But how can you not be jealous? Hongjoong already had a favorite. His favorite of course, was Hwa, either because they spent more time together, or because he found Hwa and formed a bond with him at the peak of his sick impulses, or because he was a hundred times more loyal to Hongjoong than you. Yes, he loved you obsessively too, but look, he bought the gift for Seonghwa, not you.

Seonghwa looked at you as jealousy flared in your heart, forming a bigger and bigger ball. "Angel look, now we have a set to do together!" He looked very happy. And the fact that he included you in his gift made you feel ashamed of your jealous thoughts. But the problem wasn't Seonghwa, it was Hongjoong.

Of course, Hongjoong knew what he was doing. From time to time, in order to keep your relationship strong, he would give more attention to one of you than the other and ignore the other. This was one of his favorite manipulation tactics. The person who is ignored subconsciously thinks, "I must be as good as them, what can I do to make him love me as much?" he loved injecting this thoughts and seeing the flames of jealousy in both of your eyes. And he would definitely win. When he used this tactic on you, for a few days, without realizing it, you would act closer to Hongjoong, do whatever he said like a puppet, and try to win his love. Of course, you wouldn't do this consciously, but being the favorite person of the person who held power in his hands and the gifts or freedoms he showed you was very tempting.

After fake smiling at Seonghwa, you stood up. "I'm going to my room." As you turned around and went to your room, you heard Seonghwa say 'we were going to start this together, where are you going?' even though you heard his whining, Seonghwa was the last person you wanted to see right now.

You knew what you were doing was childish, but you couldn't help it. While jealousy was flowing through your veins, you were startled by the gentle knock on the room door. You knew it was Hwa, the only kind person here, who knocked your room.

"Did something happen?" You shook your head without looking at his face. Just as he was about to open his mouth again and say something, he closed his mouth when he heard Hongjoong's voice calling him from downstairs. "I'll start preparing dinner, if you want, you can watch TV with Hongjoong while I prepare it. I'll get his permission for you." It was starting to make you sick to your stomach at how nice he was to you. You sometimes wished he could treat you as cruelly and harshly as Hongjoong. This way, there would be nothing binding you here and you wouldn't start getting used to here. But sometimes, you wondered what would happen to Seonghwa if you managed to escape. You wouldn't forgive yourself if you couldn't save him from here and if his Hongjoong-like behavior progressed and he completely turned into Hongjoong.

"No need." You said without looking at him again. Seonghwa thought it would be better to close the door and leave you alone.

Dinner time also passed in silence. Since you didn't look at Seonghwa's face, you didn't see the new star necklace he had around his neck. Did he always have that necklace? No. You noticed it when it swayed as he took your empty plate, catching your eye with its metal reflection. "Since when did you have that necklace?" Hongjoong smiled at you subtly, as if expecting this question. "Ah, Hongjoong got this too. He gave it to me after you left. Beautiful, isn't it?" He told you with a big smile and playing with the star in his hand. He never meant to make you jealous, he was just very excited and wanted to show it off to the world. It was truly a great achievement and honor to receive a gift from Hongjoong.

Hongjoong saw the flaring jealousy in your eyes as you stood up from the table, and grabbed your arm before you could get too far. "What, you don't like it?" He was smiling at you so annoyingly that if he hadn't held your right hand, you would have tried to punch him. Unfortunately, you couldn't give the effect you wanted with your left hand. Maybe he was waiting for you to explode and punish you for it. You didn't know.

But you weren't going to give him what he wanted, he wasn't going to get that reaction from you. You put on a fake smile as you tried to pull your arm away from him. "I like it! It's beautiful! I loved it! It couldn't have been more beautiful!" You hated it when your emotions showed in your tone of voice. If you were stronger, could you stand up to him? "That tone of voice... Is it jealousy?" When he said it with a giggle, you felt yourself blushing from your ears to your cheeks. "Haha! Why are you jealous? After all, you hate this place and me, and it shouldn't matter if I buy him a gift and not you, right?" Ah, he's started again. Even if you denied it, he would continue this psychological torture until you agreed, so you would admit that you were jealous because you wanted it to end as soon as possible without tiring your brain any further. And also, yes, you were jealous.

"Yes, I'm jealous! So what?!" Seonghwa was watching you with wide eyes. Sometimes he was jealous of you too, but it wasn't because of the gifts Hongjoong bought you, it was because of the attention he gave you and didn't give him. "May I know why you're jealous, princess?" He knew why, but he enjoyed humiliating you this way. "Because... Because I've been so g-good lately too! Okay, even though I wasn't as good as Hwa, but I was s-still good! Why didn't you reward me too?" You cursed under your breath at your trembling and stuttering state. When he didn't say anything and looked at you, he looked at you for a long time, you felt uncomfortable and squirmed in your place. "Angel, we can do the lego set together-" "Seonghwa, shut up. Princess, if you were as obedient and loyal as Seonghwa, I would buy it for you too. But you still don't hug and kiss me of your own accord, it hurts my dignity." He looked at you and opened his arms a little, as if he expected you to jump into his lap, hug and kiss him right now. Even though you were jealous of the opportunities he offered Seonghwa, you were never going to give him what he wanted. You didn't move and looked at his arms for a while. Thinking you were hesitating, he said "Come here." to encourage you.

"In your dreams." You pulled your arm away from him harshly and headed back upstairs. "Then I won't buy you anything again!" His voice coming from downstairs got on your nerves. "You're not buying me anything anyway!" You shouted at him with the same tone of voice. Before slamming the door, you heard that Hongjoong mumbled something to Seonghwa about him banning you from watching TV for a week.

a/n: Again me and again yandere matz... Please keep sending me requests about yandere matz. I'm dying for them! Also, my next fic will be yandere yunho and lots of chaos! (I received the request you sent me but please give me some time to write it, dear anon♡♡)

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

aita for not inviting a friend of mine into my dnd campaign?

so i (18nb) have a friend (18nb, Martin) who i play in a main dnd campaign with with all our other friends (Ill name them Dan, Virgil, Mark, and Ray). Dan is our DM after we kicked out the old one bc she was horrible. We're a pretty close group of friends, but lately we've all been really busy with respective school & work, ect. so we didnt play dnd for a solid, like,, 4 months. I DMed a one shot for everyone besides Ray cause she was flaky anyway, and added in my boyfriend Zeke for it.

Everyone had a really fun time w it and I loved everyones characters, especially Dan's. I watch a lot of dnd shows, so i just keep getting more ideas- but while the one shot was fun it was messy as hell. Ive been wanting to write a campaign for a smaller group for a while, (because when i tried making a campaign with the whole group the character creations were... disappointing to say the least. this sounds mean but i created a fairy world that was very magical & told everyone to go crazy on character creation in a world with few/no humans, and like 5/6 people opted to be a human with a fighting class :/ )

ive been writing a campaign that im really proud of and have a good vision for, and decided to include Mark (because we're best friends) Zeke (because he wants to play dnd more and has no opportunities) Dan (bc he never gets to be a player) and then another close friend of mine outside the group named Gabe (who i love but never get to see) I love their characters & we're all super excited.

Thing is. I was briefly talking with Dan, Zeke and Mark about it at school bc I'd sent everyone a little intro message for the world and they were all super excited and wanted to talk to me about their classes. Virgil had no problem with this and was excitedly asking abt the world + characters along with some other friends from school, but Martin got quiet and went and sat by himself. I could tell they were off, but Martin is generally a quiet person anyway and is often sad + doesnt want to talk for like a hundred different reasons, so i left her alone. Later that day in a different class I have with Virgil he showed me his phone where Martin had sent him a message saying she was really disappointed & felt left out that i hadnt invited them to my campaign.

i instantly felt bad and started to text him, but,,,, to be honest, i dont think im at all responsible for this.

i have reasons for leaving Martin out, the main one being that they just..... arent a very active player. Hes soft spoken and doesnt actually like rping their characters- her character in our main campaign is/was literally mute bc they said they didnt want to have to speak as him. (theyve since taken this back and went through with a curse breaking thing to be able to speak, but her character,,, still doesnt talk much.) he writes really good, sad backstories but doesnt actually play or do anything with them and gets uncomfortable acting. Their characters are not only emotional, but like. crazy. they play a bunch of cool tieflings with insane magic classes & features and then, again,,,, dont roleplay them. I didnt want the group to be big and had a good reason for including everyone that i did, and our other friends that arent in it (Virgil, Ray who is Martins sister btw, all our other d&d interested friends at school) literally dont mind at all. i just wrote a campaign that theyre not in. Martin also has their feelings hurt very easily, so to be honest i just find her being sad about not being in it just... stupid. id never say that to his face & i get that he feels bad, but like....cmon.

im aware im a very very incredibly low empathy person- to be honest i struggle with depression and bpd very heavily and am often mean to my friends & loved ones without really processing why or how much it affects them. i told Virgil that i thought Martins reaction was stupid, and he said that that wasnt fair bc Martin had always been in my campaigns before (which is, yknow, one. Martin and I were even in a campaign with a completely different group a while back and Martin willingly left it very early because the group was loud & their character wasnt doing anything (yeah)). Every time Martins expressed (or i guess not expressed) sorrow for not being invited to it ive just sort of ignored them. this again isnt that uncommon cuz when shes sad he doesnt like to talk about it, and also they havent directly confronted me with this at all.

ive been talking about the campaign a lot because it occupies frankly a lot of my brain because i have so much to write, and i especially talk to the people that arent in it bc theres no risk of slipping up and telling them something they arent supposed to know. The other friend, Gabe, is friends with Zeke and Mark and I, and Dan is good around new people,, but Martins really quiet around people he doesnt know well, so if i invited her anyway they'd probably play the game even less than they already do.

again, im really bad at having an actual perspecitve on this. Virgil said he feels bad for Martin but not for himself, as far as i know Dan doesnt know about the situation, and i literally just dont wanna involve Mark and Zeke (Zeke HATES conflict and when people fight so he really doesnt have to be involved.) Mark Martin and I have all been really close friends since literally 7th grade and I guess Martin especially feels left out that I involved Mark and not them but Marks both really good at character creation and also talking in character, and like, hes my best friend who i do everything with.

I dont wanna blow off Martins emotions but but i truly dont give a shit that they feel betrayed by my not inviting him. especially because they havent bothered actually telling me this. objectively i dont think its my fault even a little, and Martin is really horrible at handling their emotions anyway (this isnt an insult, just a fact. i am too). aita for not inviting him + not caring that shes upset by it and acting like they arent?

sorry this is so long i really like providing context

What are these acronyms?

[narwhalandchill]

how are we feeling about this project amber update

assuming this is in relation to childe bc who the fuck else JWDJWJKDJKW anon im so sorry if not. also so so sorry for how out of hand this got. i am simply unwell about him.

But! Well. there certainly are thoughts

(obviously 4.6 datamine of arle SQ and her voicelines; This Will Not Spoil Anything Abt The Main SQ Plot, i only discuss the relevant parts. also some p Heavy negativity towards fanon ooc at the start youve been warned dont @ me)

(i mean i didnt even read anything of the SQ but The scene w childe so idek the main plot of the quest rly either lmao. tho go at ur own risk if u wanna check the dialogue out; its the 2nd quest log but it does hint at the greater story)

TLDR: how i feel abt his appearance in a vaccuum? quite solid despite the briefness, actually. accounting for the way fanon is 100% likely going to be reading into this and turning it into the Lets Infantilize Ajax Even More 2024 championship? conflicted.

in other words; a certified labyrinth warriors moment - theyve expanded on childes character in a very interesting and quite a compelling way and while i Do like the potential in what im seeing from hoyos end theyve also done it so that its going to be misinterpreted to hell and back by fanon so i kinda have an immediate jaded love-hate moment going on JJWJDKJDKJWJDWKJ

its literally just labyrinth warriors flashbacks - that event has some of my ALL TIME favorite insights into who ajax is and how he views the world and himself but when the event came out all everyone cared abt was to warp it into baby boy stuck in scawwy paper boy dungeon dehumanizes himself by calling himself a weapon and doesnt love himself he is such a sad trauma meowkitten 🥺🥺so yeah

bc like lets look at this properly for a bit; okay he went back to fontaine to look for skirk still somewhat injured and waa waa my 286 month infant baby cannot Make decisions like that!!!!!11! which is to say. i am tired of him getting this shit every time.

is it smart of him to get on the move immediately with just the bare minimum of rest? no. do i like that hes straining himself before proper recovery? not particularly no. do i feel the particular need to psychoanalyze this grown man and feared warrior whos 100% survived Way Worse in Way More Extreme Situations for it? hell fucking no.

while not at all the course of action a medical professional would approve of. from childes POV its perfectly logical hes priorizing going back for skirk when its literally the FIRST TIME shes showed up in like. a Decade. when hes been looking for her all this time are you kidding me 😭😭😭 but fanon must keep fanoning for their widdle baby girl so what does a hater like me know

anyway. seething and venting over im gonna try to avoid bringing up how much i hate this kinda infantilization of ajax now im sorry for bringing it up so much on ur innocent ask anon KJWDJKWKJDJDKWJKD. neutral discussion moment. i Promise

so it seems that theyre going for the pulcinella-is-shady-about-ajax (and prolly his family) angle for good and like. personally for me as long as the only real source of that claim was scara (a cynical edgelord who doesnt believe in non-exploitative human relationships, mind you) i was rather skeptical towards just instantly drawing that conclusion, but well. with the scene in arles AQ it appears to be sth theyre building towards

i actually really fucking loved that scene bc while theres outsider perspectives (scara obvi; and even arles line for him has that vibe. and ppl still take that shit face value 💀💀) and a lot of fandom assuming childes like. completely clueless and naive and ignorant towards the potential risks involved with trusting pulcinella. this is actually a very clever demonstration of quite the opposite? and showcasing how despite his aversion towards schemes and lies hes still intelligent and knows the kind of people hes dealing with when it comes to his fellow harbingers

like. childe has a negative opinion of arle based on what pulcinella has told him about her because at face value many of her deeds are in heavy conflict with his values of loyalty and family. and because he does not have the further context behind her actions and what the HotH under her is really like. Obviously hed hold a very hostile and wary view towards arlecchino

(ESPECIALLY when with all this biased intel hes still going to run into kids from the house!!! and then hes going wtf? these are good kids. what the hell is that knave doing with them??? blink twice if you need help i will start a civil war for yall like thats how he is with kids!!!!)

so YES. pulcinella has given him if not false then at least misleading intel based on the political tension between himself and arlecchino and the wider HotH. and childes taken that at face value! sure! he is close with pulcinella of course he would!

BUT. THEN. he returns to fontaine and seeks arlecchinos help looking for skirk. and observes her behavior and modus operandi for himself as well as the kids. does he go "nah she must be just hiding the crazy evil shit i would never distrust pulcinella" and leave it at that when reality doesnt completely match his expectations?

NO. because when offered the opportunity through the traveler asking about the HotH childe immediately capitalizes on the opportunity to prod for answers and see if pulcinella is lying to him!!!!

and hes so fucking smart with the way he does it too???? i LOVE his intelligence. the entire thing is so simple yet elegant; it Completely relies on his reputation as the kinda gullible harbinger whod Never scheme or hide Anything to indirectly affirm or deny his suspicions. he doesnt Need to Pretend to care about the possibility of arle betraying the kids bc he genuinely does!! and when she pushes back against the accusation he doesnt Need to fake admitting to her that well, actually, its all just rumors so he could be completely wrong. and so on. like he navigates the entire thing so effortlessly. and whats the end result?

childe has Confirmation of pulcinellas possible ulterior motives in action AND that arlecchino is a much more reliable ally than he initially assumed. all the while appearing as just The Straightforward 11th. like obviously id need to hear it voiced first to be sure but in text it v much gives the impression hes almost kinda just. playing up the threats towards arle and being "dumb" on Purpose?? to get the answers he wanted out of arle without appearing like hes fishing for anything particular. and i just hhhhhhhhhhh

i love when he does this so muchhhh!!!!!! 😭😭 he doesnt need to become some machiavellian schemer to be able to strategize !!!!!! he avoids scheming bc he Dislikes it not bc hes incapable of it like this has Always been the case Since Liyue AQ and i love whenever they show that side of himm . my Beloved

so anyway. while i do still think the like "pulcinella is bad and has his family hostage" is still kind of a generic plotline and i hope the writing regarding the whole thing wont ultimately turn out to be sth That simplified and black and white. its p clear theyre doing Something with pulcinellas motivations and as they are. im Really glad theyre letting it show that childes not just some completely passive party being manipulated in this all. he Is thinking abt this stuff and his position among the harbingers. ig we shall see where it goes - not the greatest fan of the concept still, but canon text supports it becoming a thing way more than when it was just scaras word we had for it. hope theyll surprise me positively w how they go about it!

then briefly for the rest uhh

also loved arle and childe just shittalking the rest of the harbingers it was amazing. i wasnt expecting this kinda dynamic between them at all but its great lmao. also i wanna see childe hang out w the HotH kids

as for project stuzha; so we dont really get anything solid on it other than being summoned back to snezhnaya for it is apparently a Big Deal. but still very interested. let my man have his endgame significance Trust

childes appearance was obviously v brief ultimately but that was clear from his leaked linecount to begin with - i am pretty satisfied with what they seem to have done w him. like its not The Best but also i wasnt expecting his lore to get some massive expansion in another harbingers SQ . the worst i feared was that it was just going to be a flashback of arle returning his vision which did Not happen so massive W. i am super hyped to hear this scene voice acted proper and happy to see him again, i really hope he gets to appear at least once more in an interlude or dains quest or something before going on hiatus again but idk if thats too much to ask LKKWJDJWDJWD

also: i am never changing my namecard after this patch drops. oh my godddddddd its So Fucking Beautiful 😭😭😭😭

But. Yeah. lots of good stuff. unfortunately lots of it will get misinterpreted and fanon will get obnoxious about it. but i still love getting to see him again and i am speedrunning that namecard day fucking one mutuals and/or followers in EU please add me (UID 711090267) ill need coop buddies for the world bosses

thank youuuuuuu for the ask i hope this monstrosity of a monologue doesnt scare u off 💀💀💀

[archie-sunshine]

(The tfp wheeljack asker here) I respect your reasoning so hard, not that someone should have to provide reasoning to have their boundaries respected obviously.I feel very silly for misreading the show acronyms in your pinned post, I DID go back and reread everything much more carefully because I *thought* I got everything the first time. 👍

I just wanted to say thanks for doing these fun art requests bc it definitely does feel like thankless work sometimes, I used to do requests too on an old blog and man I’m just really happy to see people still do these, and it’s cool to see what people come up with from requests.

Anyhow, I’m sorry about my reading mixup and am excited to see more of your art going forward as a new follower!!!

theres no hard feelings at all! genuinely! I'm jovial about the subject! I have a goal on my ko-fi thats literally just people paying for me to rewatch the show again.

it isn't tfp that makes me upset, its people not taking the time to read my easily findable rules and easily findable faq that bothers me the most.

I do requests not out of a sense of obligation but because I want to reach out and make more art and explore different characters and sides of the fandom! I do it because I love it! so it makes me sad that people don't treat me with respect enough to just do one little thing.

I know my worth, and its not nice to say but i genuinely shouldn't have to say this to people, you know?? (NONE OF THIS IS DIRECTED AT YOU ANON I GOT YOUR OTHER APOLOGY I JUST DIDNT WANNA PUT YOU ON BLAST SINCE YOU WERENT ON ANON) i also like don't want to yuck anyones yum at all, seriously!! Im open to learning to like tfp eventually if i end up liking the show (if u make me rewatch it). its just that tfp fans are very enthusiastic and excited to ask without checking things, and then when directed to my faq, not read my faq and instead fill my inbox with 'BUT WHY' even though. its easy to find. why i dont like it. i digress though

theres this month's monthly tfp saga overwith again :T

[babiebom]

Ranking my Mechat Matches Based on how much I Like Them(currently)

A/N: this isn’t to be mean or say I hate them or anything lmao it’s just for fun since I don’t see many Mechat posts on here and I wanna post something to make it obvious that I will write for them? Might be ooc for the writings but I try my best!!

Tw: cursing, some sexual mentions, maybe a little bit of bullying(affectionate and derogatory maybe), SPOILERS (maybe)

BC: at least 5 for each

Mechat Masterlist

First the guys since I am actually attracted to them:

1)Tamura Blood

Literal love of my life I’m always thinking about him

Like it’s not even like exaggerating when I say he’s taken over 90 percent of my daydreams

Like I was never really into the whole mafia romance thing before

But I genuinely want this man to be happy

Like I know he’s a character but I want him to be happy and if I have to write a million fics just to make it true for him I will

Like he actually cares even if he doesn’t show or say it and while I usually hate it he’s just so….

Idk how to explain it

He was my first match and when I first finished his story before they updated it twice I actually was VERY upset and checked on it every day to see if it would ever be updated

Idk what happens next because I’m playing through the updates now but

If me and him don’t get a happy ending I’m going to have a breakdown

I need a happy ending with him <3

The cheek kiss is the last thing I saw and I’m so mad he cheek kissed instead of lip kissed

Slow burn isn’t usually my favorite to read so this is actually killing me

But I literally look forward to his messages every day.

NAUR I FINISGED HIS STORY IN BETWEEN WRITING THIS AN DNOW IM SAD :((((( I LITERALLY J U S T BECAME HIS GORLFRIEND

MECHAT DEVS GIVE ME MORE TAMURA KISSES NOW!!!!!!!!!!

2)Yasuda Hitoshi

Honestly he annoyed me at first and I found it fun to mess with him

But he grew on me

Like even before him and me(the character obviously) started getting along he started to slowly work his way up on my list

And now that we’re getting married and he has told me about the monsters or whatever that he had to save me from

He’s super sweet even if he’s still sorta a big meanie

I think it’s cute

Like YES I love the guy who is mean to everyone but me trope

Like yeah he’s not mean but he isn’t really outgoing or nice with other people

Like he jokes and is cute and UGH

And the way he actually stands up to his parents for you is literally swoon worthy

LOVE MY MAN MY MAN MY MAN

3)Johnny Roe

Honestly I think I skipped him the first couple times he popped up as a match

And then when I saw everyone talking about him I thought it was like

…..everyone was over hyping him

But then I got him as a match again

So I matched with him

And he’s actually so cute

And his storyline is cute

And he’s like one of my favorites (obviously seeing as he’s number three)

I now understand the hype surrounding him because I would actually kill someone for this man

And I want to fight the mother so bad

It makes me upset how he’s always like “she’s still my mom”

Like yeah but she literally ABUSED YOU?????

Like I understand completely and I know it would be hard to just turn off loving her for him

But UGH

I want permission to throw hands

And honestly not to trauma dump my mom is the same way

Like she’s not abusive but she was abused by our family when she was a kid(including my grandmother)

And she’s so fiercely protective of her and like I love my grandmother but UGH I have like a place of resentment in my heart for her because e my mom didn’t deserve any of the bad things that has happened to her

So I know firsthand what it’s like to have a parent somewhat like Johnny(my mom doesn’t have agoraphobia)

I guess that’s why I’m super fond of him? Because he’s familiar in a way to me

I just want him to be happy :(

4)Optimo Lynx

I got a crush on him slowly

Like at first I was MEH about him

But then he was a cute nerd who is studying to be a….doctor(????? I forgor sorry)

AND on the other hand he’s a superhero who has literally saved me twice

Like actually I love him

Very smart and cares about people

Like actually HE SAVES LIVES

Like ?????? It’s sad that the public can’t know his identity bc the government will be mad

And the fact I think he would hate that

But he deserves to be paid for saving people the way that he does

And studying on top of that

Like I wouldn’t be able to IMPRESSIVE MAN

wanna give him kisses

ALSO ALSO ALSO

I don’t think I’ve EVER mentioned this on my blog

But black hair blue eyes combo is my favorite

So actually he’s my dream man

I wanna give him more kisses!!!!

I NEED MORE GEMS SO I CAN KISS HIM

And maybe suck his dick if he lets me

5)Zander Echo

When I first started his storyline I only wanted to get him to like me bc he hated me

Like Oh? You hate me? You won’t after I follow this simple plan

But then he started growing on me because he calls me his little snack

And I know he means it in a cannibalistic way but it’s hot so oh well

Then he actually started caring about me kinda

And showed me the ocean in a way that didn’t terrify me (I’m afraid of the ocean)

Like actually while this is lowkey my worst nightmare

I can breathe underwater and I’m not dying or anything so it’s less scary

But I’m still scared of the ocean

It he has a castle that I live in so it’s FINE

Literally would help me get over my fear if he wouldn’t eat me

Also I wish I could give him smooches

6)Azur Blackshade

Ghost man ghost man grim reaper ghost man

Hot hot man

Actually so interesting

And sad

I wanna know how he works

Like I wanna pick at his mind

Honestly ghost types aren’t my favorite monster types but UGH

He makes me wanna write a fanfic of a ghost love interest or something

Really really like him

7)Jozef Chrobak

He was my number one for a HOT WHILE

like I think he’s so hot

And his art style is attractive

Like he’s a VERY good looking man

I do like making people like me

And the fact that he was so against love in the beginning made it more fun

And then the ex appeared and pissed me off

But we ended up together

The only reason he’s this low is because I stopped playing his route bc my own character was pissing me off

Like she’s such a bitch

Like omg he’s romantic now I hate it

Are you a dumb ass hoe or what?

8)Brook

I liked the poly aspect and he was VERY cute

And I’m pretty sure he was a nurse or doctor or the person in an ambulance and I find that super attractive

Like YES save lives papi!!!!!!!!!

And for the most part I liked the story

I could see myself having a crush on him irl

Sweet sweet man

I don’t remember much else since I finished it MONTHS ago

9)Felix

To start off Felix and Brook are pretty much equal

Like it’s a poly relationship and I like them pretty much the same

They’re both sweet men and they’re both attractive

Even though I hated that they all abandoned me

I do think it’s attractive that they all took time to better themselves and their relationship

Like it takes a lot to realize when to step back because the situation you’re in isn’t a good one or might lead to you resenting someone

They were cool

And he was a model so obviously he was hot

Love them

10)Vile Darko

Actually insane?

I like him a lot simply because he seems psychotic

Like WHO makes someone go through insane things for money or whatever

Like actually a clown and it’s attractive

Even though I’m scared of clowns

He makes it hot AND scary

Like I’m genuinely fearing for my life (in game) but I’m also like yeah if he kills me it’s fine bc he has to touch me to do that :)

11)Enzo Gomez

I was SHOOK when I realized he wasn’t just a dog man

Like he’s an actual human that was cursed

He’s a werewolf but Doberman style

His human form is attractive

And don’t kill me but the dog form is somehow attractive(maybe it’s the teeth? Idk)

And his story is kinda sad

Well sad in that he is cursed

I’m pretty sure he was a horrible person and that’s why he was cursed

And I’m glad he has become a better person because of it

12)Lan Ying

He was up at the top before I finished his story a while ago

And now he’s back but I’m not as crazy about him because I’m crazy about tamura so I haven’t played his update yet

But I do LOVE him

Like actually a dom that isn’t an asshole

And I do like shibari and he’s nice

I hate that he ties other people up though

Like mine and only mine?

Seems like a very level headed guy and that’s very attractive

Probably one of the least toxic in this list ngl

13)Eichi Hirano

I’ve never really been crazy about him

Like even though I’m a hyper sexual person his is ONLY sex and sometimes him having trouble with his hotels or whatever

So I wasn’t really interested in him

In still not all that interested :/

He’s cute though

And obviously the sex is good for my character so I guess

I do think he’s kinda nice though, so I do like him

14)Rei

I think he is the SWEETEST guy in an unfortunate position

Because his sister is manipulating him into being basically a scammer and he doesn’t wanna do it

But she gets pissy with him if he refuses

And while I know he could take himself out of that situation

It’s hard with siblings that you wanna keep in your life or whatever

Especially because they’re twins

My only problem with him is that he doesn’t have much of a spine

Like I would like him to stand up to her

But like he’s sweet and I hope the rest of the storyline is good. I kinda stopped playing it

It’s like only two dates that they have?

I don’t feel like wasting diamonds on them right now lmao

15)Dare

I think he’s hot

But in reality I would hate him

I hate playing truth or dare bc it makes me anxious and I can never think of anything

also he knows exactly how he’s making those people suffer and acts like he doesn’t

Actually manipulative

And everything is a game to him UGH

It just annoys me

The sex was cool though

And he is kinda interesting

But like the whole four horsemen thing is an ewie to me

16)Ezra Michelle

I do actually really like Ezra

But I hate the fact that I can’t romance him

I wanna romance the pastor man

I wanna give him smooches but NAUR he’s dedicated his life to the lord

Also he’s cool for a pastor

Obviously they weren’t gonna put a total asshole extreme Christian person in the game

But I do think the way he’s written is very Joseph dream daddy coded but cooler and less shitty

Like Joseph was a shitty man

But Ezra is really cool so far

He’s only this low bc I stopped playing bc I was sad I couldn’t marry him and went after people I could romance instead

17)Drink

He wasn’t really there in the storyline

Like dare was the main character I guess out of the four

Drink and dance barely showed up

But I liked him

And I think his super power of making drinks is cool

Because I hate alcohol and how it tasted I think he would be really dangerous for me if he can make a drink that doesn’t taste like ass

And was kinda nice when we finally got to talk to him

But otherwise he wasn’t really there oof

18)Social

He was more there than drink and dance but he annoyed me

Literal definition of influencer

I was ANNOYED the entire time I had to talk to him

Like can you GET OFF YOUR PHONE

I DONT CARE ABOUT YOUR FOLLOWERS

GET YOUR CAMERA OUT OF MY FACE BITCH BOY

Like his only personality trait is social media

And yeah granted his name is social

But the others were much more interesting than him

His only good trait is that he’s hot and could probably make me famous if I wanted him to

19)Joon Hwang

I don’t remember him oof

I think I liked him a little bittle but I don’t remember anything about who he is or his storyline so eh

20)Seong On

Like Joon I have no idea who this guy is even though I know I did play through some of his storyline

I have nothing to say about him yikes

Now onto the women since I did match with them!!(my storyline beliefs might be wrong because I speed through them for gems)

1)Naya Honoka

HER STORYLINE IS INSANE?

Like actually I was like OOOH a cute nurse when we first started talking

Then as time went on I was like oof she has no time to herself but she’s so nice and cute

And it was just the right amount of spicy that I was like yeah this is KINDA realistic

LIKE SHE SAVES LIVES WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT FROM HER (other than time)

Then it went into a whole hostage witness protection thing

And I was like HUH

My character in this pissed me off

Bc why when she says HEY don’t say my name call me Hannah instead

My character says Naya 400999 times like MAAM

STOP OUTING HER!!!!!!!!!

Anyways she’s so sweet and deserves love and I want her to be happy and get more breaks from working

Only thing I currently don’t like is how she literally is spending our honeymoon being a nurse

But also irl I would be okay with that bc that means I can be alone for some of the day so oof

2)Eiko Suzuki

I like her more now than I did in the beginning

In the beginning she was kinda annoying

But now I’m like OKAY she deserves the WORLD

Like not because she’s a kitsune but like she is SO PRETTY

And I do like that she’s a family girl

I do think it’s weird that she was like “I don’t want anything serious”

But wanted us to help her with everything

Like I think at this point we’re something more but they haven’t made it official

Which bothers me bc I need to know I’m the only one

And her storyline is also insane

Like WTF your ex boyfriend ruined your life and is BACK to ruin it even more

AND your family can turn into cute ass foxes and you didnt use that to your advantage and KILL HIM?

Literally just maul him as a fox and be like

OH NAUR my bf got mauled by a wild animal I wonder how this could’ve happened?!!!!!!!!!

I do think she’s cool though even though we have to help her with everything and she doesn’t think things through sometimes

I also think it’s funny that since I’m not spending diamonds on her choices that my character is a complete asshole

Like she left her to die LMAO

3)Lexi Rose

I LOVE THAT SHE COSPLAYS

like actually her being an otaku is so cute

And I’m pretty sure she got a tv show opportunity at some point I don’t remember

Like I’m proud of her

Sad that she feels like her true self isn’t very cool

Bc I really like her

She seems sweet and cool and her interests are ones that I like

Like I might not be the biggest anime fan

But I would watch several with her as dates

Like we do not have to leave the house lets snack and you can tell me all the attack on titan lore.

4)River Morales

PRETTY WOMAN

would’ve been number one had I played her recently

But I haven’t played her for WEEKS

so she went down as I lowkey forgot about her

Honestly she was cool and I love that she’s an artist

And I do like the poly dynamic

And the fact that she was REALLY honest about her feelings towards the end

Hate that they kinda abandoned me

But I do like her a lot

Super sweet girl

I think she was sorta insecure in her storyline and I hate that for her

5)Reko Lamarr

Dommy mommy dommy mommy

She’s kinda a bitch

And as a dom I feel like she’s pretty……

Needy?

Like I feel like she should just be a bratty sub or something

Maybe it’s bc I prefer service doms?

But she’s like serve ME worship ME

instead of being a cute dom?

Like MAAM tell me what to do but love on me too

She’s cool tho

Like LOVE a business woman

Get that money queen

She’s VERY stressed

And actually kinda hot when she spanks us

Just wish she was more service-y instead of demand-y

I want to be babied pls

6)Alice Young

She’s okay I guess

I’m not really into sports

And I just started her storyline

And I kinda find the sports thing annoying

Maybe it’s bc I’m not…enthusiastic? Driven about sports that I’m like????

Just FIRE HIM??????

He’s a coach not your dad

Hire someone that cares about your mental health as well as you winning

Like girl just say that you wanna just be friends until you’re done with your tournament or whatever

Like why even join Mechat if you have a whole sports thing you wanna win

Like focus on that THEN join dating apps?

Other than that she’s pretty and cool

And I think her being athletic is attractive

7)Dance

She’s not that bad at all

But we hardly have content of her?

Like we barely see her during the storyline

So she’s okay I guess

Likes to dance and so do I

The only downside is that she’s part of the four horsemen

The upside is that I found the dancing plague in France to be funny and as soon as I saw this party was like that I cackled

But also not really funny in theory

Also kinda dislike her bc she thought the people were having fun when she knew they weren’t

I think she would be fun to be around in small doses.

8)Eura Alabaster

WOULDVE BEEN DEAD ASS LAST IF IT WASNT FOR RAITAS BITCH ASS

I actually HATE her

Like overconfident people don’t really bother me

It’s just SOMETHING about her that pisses me off

Like the way she is makes me want to beat her to death with my fists

Like she’s annoying and overconfident and stupid

AND she kidnapped me

Granted I’m not against someone kidnapping me(in the fictional world)

SHE JUST HAD TO PUT ME ON A BOAT

I HATE boats

I hate the ocean

I think that’s why I hate her so much

The fact that it’s the ocean we’re dealing with

And she’s triggering my irrational fear of the Bermuda Triangle

So it’s stressing me out

I just hate her

9)Raita

I haven’t finished their storyline so if she turns out fine later sorry

But right now

AT THIS MOMENT

I hate her and how she treats Rei

Like she’s an actual bitch and I hate that my character hasn’t said so

Like actually I would’ve been like ??????are you dumb or stupid why are you such a bitch ass hoe????

She’s so mean and for WHAT

He has done nothing wrong but she acts like he has

Like he doesn’t want to scam people but this scamming ass bitch is forcing him to

And I know someone is gonna be like “he can make his own choices”

Sometimes when it involves family and staying on their good side you don’t really have a choice if you want them in your life good or not

Like I HATE HER

[stealingpotatoes]

The last episode of Ahsoka-

Literally- blow my mind- I had to stand up at least 3 times cause I was just so ???!!!!! !?!?!?!?!?!?!!??

Words can’t describe

The feeling that felt - xD

YEAH IM GONNA GO INSANE UNDER THE CUT ONE SECOND:

BITING THE FUCKING DRYWALL. BITING THE DRYWALL GNAWING CLAWING AND EATING IT. IM JUST. WHEN THE STAR WARS IS GOOD!! WHEN THE FANSERVICE ACTUALLY MAKES SENSE!!!! LIKE YES WE GOT TO SEE TCW ANAKIN AND TCW AHSOKA IN LIVE ACTION BUT IT ALSO ADDED TO THE STORY AND GAVE US CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT FOR AHSOKA AND SAID YEAH, THE FUN TONE OF CLONE WARS WAS BC THE CHARACTERS COULDN'T DEAL WITH IT ANY OTHER WAY. THEY WERE PEACEKEEPERS AND CHILD SOLDIERS WATCHING FRIENDS DIE ON THE DAILY AND IF THEY DIDNT JOKE THEN THE GRIEF WOULD TAKE OVER. AND THEY DONT SEE THAT IN THE MOMENT BUT ADULT AHSOKA REALISES HOW STRANGE IT IS

AND YEAH HAVING HER PLAYED BY A CHILD (also wow ariana greenblatt does such a good job i literally cant not imagine her when i think of babysoka now) RLLY DRIVES HOME HOW YOUNG SHE WAS. HOW FUCKED UP IT WAS. BUT ALSO WHAT THE CONSEQUENCES OF WAR ARE!! ALL THIS SAID WHILE FORCE SENSITIVE CHILD JACEN'S SO HEAVILY IN THIS EPISODE. AND W THE KANAN MENTION!!!! LIKE ITS POINTING OUT LOOK THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS IN WAR AND IF AHSOKA DOESN'T END THIS THEN JACEN WILL HAVE TO BE LIKE HER AND HIS FATHER AND I AM ONCE AGAIN BITING AT THE DRYWALL. IT DIDNT JUST GIVE CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT IT GRABS YOU BY THE FACE AND SAYS THE RETURN OF THE EMPIRE IS SERIOUS. WAR IS SERIOUS. ITS NOT THE CARTOON YOU GREW UP WITH.

AND ALL OF ANAKIN JUST GESTURES TO ALL OF THAT. HAYDEN SLAYED SERVED CUNT THROUGHOUT HE'S SUCH A GREAT ANAKIN NOW HE HAD SO MUCH RANGE TO THE CHARACTER AND THE FLICKERING ANIVADER AND RED LIGHTSABER. HE'S BOTH AT ONCE AND AHSOKA HAS TO ACCEPT THIS AND IM EATING DRYWALL AGAIN.

calming down for 2 seconds the cinematography was great this episode and the pacing was a definite improvement from ep1, which filoni also directed! this played into his directing strengths a lot better w the action and emotion. i won't lie i'm still not sold on the show as a whole i do think eps 1-3 were okay i guess, 4 was a step up and 5 is like. wow ok go girl. also the way they used anivader in this episode made me rlly sad for the kenobi show bc that show should've been smthn like this, using him as a vision for obi-wan's development instead of the villain of the show bc thats a tired fight but hey! this is abt ahsoka not kenobi i digress. SPEAKING OF loved how it was actually ABOUT the titular character for once. anyway. going insane. i don't have too much faith the show can keep this up but i'll be happy if it can reach smthn close to this as it goes on

[cal-writes]

I feel like in a lot of your stories, your zoro exudes abandonment issues 🥲 Is that a conscious thing on your part? Or am I projecting lmao

I’m loving the little snippets of fic you post btw always brightens my day 😃

he does. it sorta happened subconsciously i think. im not sure if it started from my interpretation of his character in canon or from myself projecting lol

i think it might be a mixture of both like. the juxtaposition of zoro as a character who is very confident in exactly one area of himself and that is fighting and his strength. like zoro doesnt tend to get jealous until luffy implies someone might be stronger than him. i always think of something the youtube quinn curio said in a video about the umbrella academy talking about the character played by elliot page.

so i often read zoro as someone who thinks he needs to be the strongest so that has value or is allowed to be there

and another part i think is that zoro is a very lonely character. like we learn about kuina and that she died when she was 11 and that shook him so fundamentally that he's essentially living his life to fullfil that promise he made to her. we've seen koushiro and johnny and yosaku but they were very utilitarian. koushiro was his trainer, i dont think zoro ever mentioned him again since the flashback in like what chapter 5? and johnny and yosaku were a good way to bring arlongs bounty up and show the necessity of having a cook on board. sure they care of zoro and he cares about them but there isnt the sense that they are particulary close. zoro doesn't have a family like nami, or someone who seems to have raised him like family like luffy and sanji. if we take movie canon into it as well he'd have another friend from the doji similarly to kuina who he later thought had died due to him not being strong enough

and even now in the more recent manga chapters we see it implied twice that zoro is "a burden" on his crew, both from an antagonist but then also from a crew member. and unlike when sanji and zoro usually bicker, zoro doesnt respond. we have a panel of him flinching about the comment before he grits his teeth and continues.

addtionally during water seven when everyone is falling apart bc of whats going on he's not allowing himself to be vulnerable. we dont see him miserable or angry or sad because he sees his duty as having to hold it together and make sure everyone gets through this. like zoro was just as affected by merry's fate as everyone else but he couldn't show that (or he felt like he couldnt). its an incredibly isolating experience.

there is that manga panel which i might be misinterpreting bc the speech bubbles make it hard to tell who is actually saying it

like "huh you saved me" like he's surprised someone would do that.

but even if in that panel its not zoro saying it we still see himself punishing himself after getting injured in a fight even if he ultimately won. after little garden he trains until his feet bleed again, after the fight with mr one not only does he carry nami around for hours and gets shot while injured already he doesnt let himself recover, and then of course after thriller bark.

i always get the sense that zoro puts an enormous amount of pressure on himself as if he has to justify being there and has huge expectations for himself that he needs to meet.

and not to forget that on shabaody, he had no idea what happened to everyone else. he was the first to leave and for all he knew until they got the message from luffy, everyone died bc he was injured. i think that definitely festered.

like (its probably not that deep but you are reading this so far so youre in too deep now)

i thought it was curious. that zoro is the first one back. that he asked perona for help to find the way. as if he was worried. that if he came to late they wouldn't wait. so he made sure he was the best, the fastes, the first. he made sure to show off his new skills immediately. tried to show them off to luffy immediately despite it being a dumb idea to cut their bubble underwater.

so anyway yea i do end up writing zoro as someone who has abandonment issues tied in with his self esteem issues.

[atopvisenyashill]

they dragged peter dinklage for saying that fans were upset about the ending bc their favorite characters didn't win but he is 100% right 😭 the last two seasons are almost entirely about dany, even jon's parentage reveal is about her! her death is unsatisfactory but most people were expecting a happy ending with her or jon in the throne bc the general public doesn't really care about good writing

yeah i think the problem the ending gets soooo bad is because d&d were simply over it, im not saying they’re good at their jobs but i AM saying when they’re trying to put out a good project they put out something okay. there are some wonky adaptational changes right off the bat but overall s1 is p solid as a story. i started getting frustrated by like s3 but my grandpa, The Ultimate Casual Stan, was really grooving for a long ass while there because they were still trying in 4-6, even tho it was just getting abysmal. But by the end of 6, i think those two wanted to move on & instead of handing it over to someone who still had the energy to go another 5-6 seasons, they wanted the show to die with them & started pitching like 6 total more hours of story time for like SIX THOUSAND PAGES OF STORY. Narrowing it down in scope soooooooooo much means you have to choose one, MAYBE two or three people u want to focus on and FUCK the rest. but NOT ONLY did they narrow the scope severely, they also just started like, phoning it in. the weaker casting choices really started to stand out (🤷🏻) and they were not dedicated to adapting the story so much as getting it over with. the moment the refused to hand it over is the moment we were fucked. and even the casuals started going “this seems not as good as last season.”

so YEAH i do in fact think a lot of criticism is “my fave didn’t win” but it’s also like, did ANYONE’S fave win?? i think we ALL got fucked, personally, unless you were a huge bronn stan. but ALSO i DO think the general audience started expecting a happier ending. i think that’s a failure on the part d&d. casuals on the whole react very divided about bittersweet/bitter endings. imo earlier in the series’ life, a lot of casuals would have accepted a bittersweet ending - look at the excitement over ned’s execution, the red wedding, oberyn’s death, they LOVED to be shocked into a character trying and failing. if you’re good enough, you can lead the bulk of your audience by the hand to accepting a sad ending. d&d, by the end, were not good enough at this and that’s why no one likes it.

however this is not me shittalking peter dinklage, he is a PROFESSIONAL and i think once the scripts started to DIP he saw the writing on the wall of “this ending is going to make people so fucking mad” and he started dissociating in press. and he’s valid, who doesn’t see a shitshow at work coming and just dip emotionally?

[attyrocious]

uncle brought over my stack of art school era (2013~) artwork plates thats been gathering dust in my old dorm and i kinda wanna share a few. bear with me almost all of these are abstract shit bc you know...fine arts academia. idk

one of the first plates and single-handedly is to blame for my disdain of drawing straight lines: color mixing chart we have to mix poster color paint for each square and i was poor so i only had the primaries

i had a pretty high grade here iirc but anyway this is so fucking pointless what the fuck am i gonna do with this and now i just hate rulers and ruling pens

---

color theory/scheme plate and im here to announce that yes, turning brain off and adding as much detail as possible has been a decade old technique apparently

principles of design plate?

ngl i still like this one bc look at it

the concept of horror vacui has stayed in my brain and tbf my prof liked it bc it looks like i put effort. i did, technically, but like how i draw now, its just therapeutic to not think and just move hands instead

----

printmaking plates! lino-cut prints, to be exact. many stabbings happened in the making of these. i think the way i do inktobers have been mostly derived from these. and lino-cuts print is something ive been wanting to pursue but its such an expensive and space consuming medium and that makes me sad. anyway,

prompt here is reframing fairy tales into Philippine culture/setting. so hansel and gretel in a sari-sari store

i used OCs for the characters here, and the owner of the' taller boy 'hansel' hasn't been my friend for years now but damnit i still love this concept and she's not ruining this for me

prompt for this one is 'morning'. so here's me in my depression college dorm, booting up for the day. rip to my childhood Buttercup doll, i don't know where you are now

----

last im willing to show is this pest-eaten watercolor landscape painting of UP Lagoon.

look, we had to go out into a mosquito-infested area at 3pm (the start of our watercolor techniques class) and paint this before 5:30 (end of class) but in practice its less than an hour time bc the sun was setting and we can't see shit anymore let alone what color that one flower is.

turned out p good still i think

[did-i-mention-the-shirt]

okay okay yes i KNOW i should be writing my fanfic BUT

Community characters as AJJ songs bc it's my favorite show and favorite band :] (If you want anyone added, feel free to ask!) Jeff Winger - Brave As A Noun. Okay, hear me out. This song not only applies to him lyrically but also shares the energy he has in the later seasons. He's just forcing himself to be satisfied with a life he doesn't really want, but also doesn't hate, is very season six finale. That is very much BAAN.

Britta Perry - Dissonance. It really has her energy. From the pilot to the finale, it fits her consistently despite her major character change. She is not put together. She hates herself because everyone's told her to. Britta is the best, but no one sees that. Not even herself. The only people who treated her with respect were the people she spent the least amount of time with! Think about it, she's had - what? - One touching scene with Duncan and Pierce each? She deserves more.

Abed Nadir - Goodbye, Oh Goodbye. Just listen to the song and you'll agree. This is mostly because of Troy's departure or in Abed's Uncontrollable Christmas. Whenever he has to confront his emotions, he has this distance between himself and everyone else. The opening lines, "I was thrown onto the ground/I was locked inside a basement/The guards went on vacation while I plotted my revolt." really, really, REALLY reminds me of 'Virtual Systems Analysis' when Annie's talking to Abed in the mind locker. It's a sad song, but it really fits him. The line "It's nothing like the nothingness that normally numbs one pain" is very clearly related to Troy. He got so used to Troy, and he never took him for granted, but Troy became a constant. He was Abed's anchor, and now he's gone.

Annie Edison - No one. This is Annie, particularly as the Ace of Hearts in 'A Fistful Of Paintballs'.

Troy Barns - A Big Day for Grimley. It's giving post-sea voyage Troy. He's changed, he's traumatized, and he's a little bit alone. He's proud of himself but is full of regret. What happened to Abed? He doesn't know.

Pierce Hawthorne - People Ii: The Reckoning. THIS IS PIERCE!!! Now, many of you know I love Pierce, so if you don't then you might not agree with this choice lmao

Pierce is sad. He is so sad. In Britta's words, he has spent so long looking out for himself, but he would give it all up for a shot at a family. He never gets that family. The study group never fully accepts him, despite his efforts and his becoming a better person with their help. Even Annie, the nicest to him in the group, seems to see him as a project or something. Like, he's just some old racist, homophobic old man, and not someone with 60+ years of trauma that he gradually works through with the help of his friends. He gains a brother. He defends the LGBTQ+ community. He wants nothing more than to be close to Jeff. And he dies alone.

So, yeah. "Here's to you Mrs. Robinson, people love you more, oh nevermind."

Dean Craig Pelton - Human kittens. No, I don't know why. Someone needs to give him a hug (Jeff).

Ben Chang - Dipping Things In Stuff. I don't know, he's batshit. He wants love though, just like the rest of us. This is very seasons 5/6 of Chang, I believe.

Buzz Hickey - Hate, rain on me. Tired, nihilistic, and praying for hope. I really like this song for him.

Elroy Patashnick - Normalization Blues. Don't ask me why. It works.

Ian Duncan - Fucc The Devil. Sad, distant, desperate, and hallow. But enough about Duncan. This song is the perfect example of, "I have what I want. Why am I still not okay?" which is what Duncan faces a lot. "I wanna go away for a while/Away for awhile/Because the things that I have seen/Are turning me into a shitty human being." Look me in the eyes and tell me that's not Ian. This man deserves so much more then people will let him have. Don't get me wrong, he's awful. But aren't we all, just a little bit?

Frankie and Shirley are too sane for this band im sorry to them

[gojuo]

Top5 favorite Targaryens?

1. YOUNG GRIFF aka AEGON VI aka ELIA'S BABY aka THE SUN'S SON aka if you EVER all him fAegon im KILLING YOU come to take HIS THRONE again and HONOR his dornish LADY MOTHER that SAVED his life -> "Daenerys is Prince Rhaegar's sister, but I am Rhaegar's son. I am the only dragon you need." CUNTTTT SAY IT LIKE IT IS BABYY this line woulda killed and slayed and overshadowed every single character that's why d&d had to take him out of got his aura was too crazzzzzzyyyyy 🤧 and yes i know, he's going to die for his pasty white relatives' character arcs to conclude, but unlike gary jon and mary dany, aegon vi will go down in asoiaf history as the Last Targaryen King of Westeros. that's my baby yall

2. aegon ii -> this is recency bias i fully admit it but also this guy doesn't live in the asoiaf verse he lives in a shakespeare play and he's the best tragedy the best haunting the best dooming the best character arc of any of the targaryens that exist. there i said it.

3. BAELOR BREAKSPEAR my dornish DARLINGGGGG he would have saved house targaryen he would have done away with jaehaerys' doctrine or exceptionalism he would have ushered a new age of enlightenment in westeros as one would do when they're a 2nd gen half brown immigrant like that's exactly why george had to kill him omgggg ... dont ever forgive hbo and whoever runs the dunk and egg show for casting a white guy to play him they literally whitewashed him MY WORST NIGHTMARE dont let them get away with it !!!!!!!!

4. rhaella (daughter of shaera) -> my darling :(((((((( i would have saved her :(((((((( i have this hc that she named daenerys after the daenerys that married maron martell to honor elia bc i think she found a lot of solace and happiness in elia :( i think she viewed her as the daughter she never got to have :( she makes me so unbelievably sad i wish i could have saved her :(

5. naerys -> prettiest targ name dont even play with me. i just need to get this out of the way idgaf about "ship and let ship" rhetoric.. if you think she had an affair with aemon better yet if you even remotely think she was in any way or form in love with that man then fuck you don't ever speak on her name naerys wanted to be a SEPTA she was RELIGIOUS she never would have committed adultery first of all and second of all she hated aegon iv she never wanted to be with him she never wanted to be a wife or anyone's lover for that matter and that other scumbag of a brother everyone ships her with never did anything to save her from her abuser. all he ever did was sit on the sidelines and prey on her misery. winning a tournament means jack shit when she still got raped and humiliated all her life while that so called cuck of a dragonknight just fucking watched. fuck both aemon and aegon AND LEAVE NAERYS ALONE !!!!!!!!!!!! JUSTICE FOR MY GIRL 🗣

6. (i just had to mention her) helaena -> her spot moves up and down based on which version of her there is. show version? she'd be a little lower than no.6. book version? no.6. the helaena inside my head? she's on no.4. 🫡

[sieglinde-freud]

Can I get you started on the derailment of Duncan and Courtney?

what is this, a total drama vent blog now? but yeah you can :) under cut

i think the derailment of courtney is like five thousand times more annoying than duncan but that might j be bc i dont really like duncan (hes fine in island, kinda boring in action (didnt deserve his win idgaf that shouldve been harold there. yes im still mad lindsay went home instead of him in rock n rule), and the entirety of that mid section of world tour just revolving around him and the stupid love triangle drama is SO annoying. and then he makes final five FOR WHAT??? FOR WHAT???? im sick of his ass. what was i talking about. right) but either way theyre both two very major characters so its just really sad to see them both fall victim to horrible characterization? cuz you start in island right and in general island is a lot more grounded than the other seasons and leans more into the fact that theyre all 2000’s teenage stereotypes so in island theyre just the good ol cliche good girl/bad boy couple its iconic, its cute, WAY more entertaining than gwent (but they get a pass cuz gwen was basically the main character of that season. u go girl. go get that bag AND that boring wet dog man) and its just nice. courtney shows signs of being controlling but for the most part duncan’s attitude gets courtney to loosen up a bit and have fun and courtney made duncan a better person.

and then action happens and then courtney is like. rightfully mad she got screwed out of the season after harold gets her kicked off and no one gaf but its like. you can see where this could go and it doesnt look great. not much happens for duncan except he gets more insufferable bc they didnt give him any friends this season? unlike when he geoff and dj to bounce off of now he just picks fights with harold and the other gaffers which IS funny but. basically action is where the red flags start being put up. their relationship is. fine. like i liked it at the time but knowing where it heads is upsetting. anyways

then u get to world tour and theyre close to their island dynamic again (with the exception of gwen being there…) but then duncan quits first episode which i think was actually a great choice bc of how courtney finally gets to stand on her own as a character without him (i actually really like duncney. but her character was always tied to him in some way yk?) and make her own friends and it was looking great! until i see london and everything goes to shit. dude comes back, cheats on courtney, and then everyone on that god forsaken plane gets involved. first of all, ISLAND DUNCAN WOULD NEVER??? no fucking way. not even action duncan. dude was HOOKED on her crazy ass. AND FOR GWEN?!?! who has never been the same since island but thats a different thing. but they had literally zero romantic chemistry. all they have in common is that theyre both alt kids. NOT EVEN THE SAME KIND OF ALTERNATIVE! just alt. ugh. and then courtney gets sent into a spiral which, is a valid reaction to getting cheated on i do not blame her. and w/ someone you thought was ur friend like i GET IT. and i am on her side. but then her character goes back to ONLY EVER BEING ABOUT DUNCAN except this time its how much she hates him and her character just. pauses! she doesnt go anywhere else from i see london until shes eliminated inn… what was it. chinese fakeout? like shes just a hater who makes zero meaningful relationships aside from getting played by alejandro and shes just. like its just. its not good. and to know that any of this only happened bc the producers forced a duncney break up. girl sit DOWNNN

and then all stars just tramples them even more. since when has duncan ever gave a shit what people think of him? jojo siwa acting ass with this “im a bad boy!1!!!!” act island duncan would never. and then courtney. ohh courtney. she got flushed down a toilet force feeding herself ice cream with bird shit on it. all i gotta say (but also. nerfed bc she literally has an iron stomach in chinese fake out. whatever)

i still love them though. well, i love courtney. duncans alright but still neither of them deserved any of that

[ellecdc]

okay no pressure in answering this at all if you’re not comfortable but i’ve been having many Thoughts lately and i wanted to share them with somebody but nobody ik will listen and you’re my favorite blog

i’m on summer break from college right now which means i don’t have a constant stream of Things To Do, so i have a lot of free time, which i usually spending thinking about the marauders (guilty)

but since i’ve been home (abt 3 weeks) ive been getting super overwhelmed in the fandom, not bc of anybody but because i have so much Love for content. like i love the fandom so much and i love fics and fanart and edits and stuff like that, and i don’t think i have a limit

i feel like i spend too much time engaging in the community, or even just thinking about characters (primarily the Noble House of Black lol) and i don’t get me wrong, i love it so much, but almost to a point where it’s overwhelming and i get emotional randomly and sometimes i feel like that’s not normal?

like i feel like i might be genuinely addicted - i haven’t gone a day without opening ao3/tumblr/tiktok to see fandom content in a very long time and as much as i love to embrace that fact, i can’t figure out why that scares me so much

i hope this makes sense. i just needed to tell somebody because im starting to feel like something is wrong with me lol

like i said, no need to respond if you don’t feel comfortable. i just wanted to put it into words

I don’t think there’s anything “wrong” with liking something ‘so’ much and being so invested in something as long as it’s not taking away/affecting the rest of your life?

If you’re still able to take care of yourself physically (showering, eating, sleeping, cleaning), and if you’re still able to enjoy your personal and social life (going to work/school etc, hanging with friends, engaging with family members), and it’s not hurting anyone (yourself or loved ones), then what’s the harm?

I literally cannot think about canon at all, I was telling my mutual this the other day - they’d asked me what my other mutuals told me about ATYD because they were thinking of reading it and I told them and literally felt sick to my stomach thinking about it afterwards 😅 like no, perhaps that’s not ‘normal’ but that’s also why I’m in fanfiction? I can’t watch TV shows or movies because I get too emotional and too invested that I can’t handle anything angsty or sad. So I spend time in fanfiction to kind of “fix” it for me, and it makes me happy!

When I was in my first degree probably ~19, I was going through a hard time and would go for walks with my dog like 3 times a day for almost 45mins-1.5 hours each time (so walking almost 3 hours out of the day) just so I could escape my present reality and live in my little daydreams I created for myself. I became so reclusive and was over exerting myself, under eating, not socializing and started getting emotional because I preferred my daydreams to my current reality

Sometimes that’s life saving for people so I am an advocate for people doing what they need to do to get by - BUT - for me, that’s when it became unhealthy

So no, i don’t think liking/loving fanfic “too much” is abnormal (maybe it is but then we’re all freaks here) and i don’t think it’s unhealthy unless you’re unable to care for yourself otherwise

[abitofafreudmoment]

HELLO IRL FRIEND OF NICO

i have noticed that you are into discworld and would like to hear more about it bc i am interested in reading it but am incapable of getting into anything unless it's been hyped up to me enough and you seem like you'd be willing to ramble lovingly about this series so uhh. favorite characters? what's it about? themes? fun tidbits?

(no pressure though and sorry if this is a weird way to introduce myself hi im luce)

lol no worries Luce! yes I'm very happy to ramble for you. (post-writing here, this is so all over the place sorry for like not sticking to one area but hey it's defos a loving ramble - kinda just talked about vague stuff, but I can 100% go into specifics).

So. . . where do I begin?

40 books in the series, he wrote right up until his death. NOT a continuous plotline through all 40. In fact, I recommend not starting with the first one (two actually)as it's not spectacular (that being said, it is still worth reading once you're in the series, good for the overall worldbuilding if memory serves). below is a sorta ok guide to how they connect - I have my issues with it but it's the best I've found.

I wouldn't recommend starting with Sourcery, but that's cuz Rincewind isn't my favorite character - I'd start with either equal rites or Lords and Ladies or Mort or The Truth or The Fifth Elephant or just wherever really as long as it isn't the Colour of Magic or the Light Fantastic.

A few crucial ordering things - READ THUD AND SNUFF (and ig Making Money and Going Postal) BEFORE RAISING STEAM. READ THIEF OF TIME BEFORE NIGHT WATCH. Those are the really imperative ones that you gotta order right, generally do it vaguely chronologically and yeah. Have at it.

The Hedgehog Song - this is a tidbit that shows up a lot in the Witches books as a very rude song that Nanny Ogg sings, BUT WE NEVER GET THE WORDS and I so want them.

Because it was written over 32 years, there are so many characters that just like slowly worm their way into it and I love watching a character turn from like a single footnote into a fully-fledged, important-to-the-plot character (I'm looking at YOU, Cassanunda)

SPEAKING OF FOOTNOTES OMG the books are riddled with them and. . . chef's kiss they add So Much to the series. They're so funny.

Pratchett is actually just like so funny as an author in general, but wittily so. Not saying he does pure comedy - he doesn't. Many a time have I cried over a Pratchett book. He's also great at taking stuff and . . . twisting it ig into something brilliantly new - Take, for instance, Maskerade, which is the Phantom of the Opera but Pratchettifyed (New word! yay! I'll be using it a lot I'm sure.). or like just what he does with Fairy Tales in general (Witches Abroad, Lords and Ladies sorta)

Also his MAGIC omg - soft magic system done right. I also love like the different approaches to magic that the witches and wizard have to it. Also how like the Creatures from the Dungeon Dimensions get [spoilers removed]

The gods man. Love them. They exist, they feed off of raw belief (Small Gods' premise is that people start believing in the institution formed around a god as opposed to the god itself and then that god like almost dies cuz no-one believes in him. (surprise surprise it's a commentary on the Church)) and they play games with the lives of men (the Last Hero). Love Granny Weatherwax's opinion on them which goes smthn like this: "No use believin' in 'em, it only serves to encourage 'em." <-- As a concept belief is not simply tied to the gods either. He does a lot of stuff about how what people believe to be true can affect how they perceive things around them.

THE FOOLS. Pratchett understood the tragedy of clowns and as such his fools are so insanely sad - the Fools' Guild is the least happy of all the guilds. I love them so much

Speaking of guilds: the Guild of Thieves. is a legit guild set up by Vetenarii to do crime to the socially acceptable level and no higher - I'm doing a bad job explaining it but it's ingenious.

Vetenarii is probably one of my favorite characters in the entire series. He, above all else, understands how humans work and he uses that skill to get people to do what he wants.

Pratchett does not pull the punches when it comes to messaging and such - very anti-war, anti-racism, anti-sexism etc. Also love what he does with People and how they can/can't be controlled (The human condition as a whole ig) - one of my fav quotes from the series is Vimes saying "They're scared. You can't expect much from people when they're scared."

My personal fav book is Monstrous Regiment, which is relatively standalone. Very good. Very "horrors of war"-y with a touch of the classic [redacted due to spoilers].

I could go on, but this post is getting very long so if I do continue I'll do it in another post.

TL;DR: Pratchett = FUCKING BRILLIANT

[yotsubaclover]

p3 of blorbo association explanation woohoo and this time it's fugo!!! my beloved!!! who i can still draw quite cutely after all this time aww love my lil guy

song: I HAVE A WHOLE FUGO PLAYLIST it's really OLD but it's so important to me. i always thought the pain and aimlessness and self-loathing of turn off the lights was perfectly post-gw (and early phf) fugo. another very fugo song? lassassymphonie from mozart opera rock.

color: deep red! maroon? i like red fugo the most :3c silver and red on top

animal: genuinely ive never kin assigned him any animal hes just always been a teen boy to me but i said hare bc ... i recently saw bunny!fugo fanart but he is not a cute rabbit he is something a little more square than that. and a hare seemed right. i think they're also a bit shy lol which is also very fugo to me, actually quite timid

food: berry fugo lover says strawberries are him who is surprised

object: diy holes in jeans cos i just think he should do arts and crafts. but also because i saw these pants with heart holes in them in some runway show a few years back and thought "wow i could hypothetically make those jeans on my own actually..." LMAO as for the earrings, i too have strawberry earrings, and anything similar i will call fugo earrings :D

aesthetic: i just like him in more alternative fashion and specifically 90s era stuff too so i just merged both. i think him in 90s casual is also good. i like to draw him in that i think thats why lol

other: smog cos purple haze baby. both kills. one just slower than the other. regret cos i like angst and pain and phf. tomes cos boy is a nerd at heart forever and ever and of course the mysterious killing which changed his life. but like genuinely i think he would hang around the library and pick up a random bigass book and binge it within ... less than a week probably. like. he READS. and he is INTERESTED. i'm not sure if he'd be a philosophy guy or a humanities guy at all but i am optimistic and projecting he is. i think his family would've wanted him to be a lawyer idk. to me he loves some kind of humanities or social science okay

i loved fugo so much i made an incredibly elaborate debate au starring HIM ft a bunch of other jojo characters pls and i did that so i could also love the sport... when i burned out i stopped building the au im so sad i miss passione debate society :")

[jayflrt]

hi im back i swear i could talk ab iland for hours fr ...

smth i wanna talk ab is their friendships on the show and moments that i think ab A LOTTT

- heeseung and jungwon!! i think they grew close very early on esp bc they were in iland together from the start and u could see how sad hee was when jungwon almost got emiminated. like boy was in tears SOBBING when jungwon came back from that dam egg and i felt in that moment u could rlly see how much jungwon meant to him and he couldnt lose him

- JAY AND NIKI like when jay came back to iland and cried that niki didnt make it 😭 they were THAT DUO™️ in the ground stressing out teaching everyone fire. i think they were the perfecr pair to lead bc they both had an insane amount of passion and determination like niki was one of the only ones that understood why jay wanted them to keep practicing and not fall behind bc they both knew how much was on the line. they were also on the same team multiple times which caused them to grow close and the fact that jay was one of the ones who could speak japanese so niki definitely clung onto him and jay would help him out a lot :')

- SUNOO AND JAEBEOM. one of the most purest friendships on the show i swear. they experienced ground and iland together and in the behind cams THEY LOOKED LIKE THEY WERE GOSSIPING ALL THE TIME IT WAS SO CUTE. and the fact that sunoo used one of his calls to call jaebeom omg 😭 theyre probably still friends til this day since sunoo cherishes all of his friendships i rlly need them to vlog tgth or smth i miss them sm

- sunoo and taki 😭 when sunoo said he wanted taki as a real little brother I SOBBED. i think another anon talked ab them so i wont get into it much but im so happy theyre still close and we see them interact a lot

- enha 02z omg. iland is where jakehoon rlly took off and it was so endearing to witness their friendship blossom on the show. and jayhoon ☹️☹️☹️ i love every jay duo in enha but jayhoon (and heejay) takes the cake for me. when sunghoon worried more about taking jays place during the dance unit over winning it showed how much their friendship means to him. and when jay says the iconic line "my one and only unit" LIKE THEY ENTERED ILAND TOGETHER AND DEBUTED TOGETHER IT CANT BE MORE PERFECT THAN THAT. and during pt. 2 i loved how in the behind cams we got to see all 3 of them get closer and become the iconic 02z trio we know and love today (im just so happy they all got to debut together it was seriously fate)

- jay and k. so yes, k was really bad on the show and his competitiveness got the best of him. it was sad to watch how he treated other ppl sometimes and i'll say hes grown from it and is in &team now and takes care of the members well. (i watched &audition and his character development was crazy so good for him) but in iland u can tell how much jay really values k as an older brother. jay was one of the older contestants so he probably felt like he had to shoulder a lot and be a leader but when k is around i feel like he got to relax a little more yk? and as we know enha and esp jay dont really have many friends outside of the group (besides sunoo) and im glad theyre still very close til this day.

sorry this was so long u fr opened the floodgates for me skdjs

HELLO !! feel free to 🤝 i love talking about iland (i am hyperfixated)

omg yes there were so many cute friendships that i wish mnet covered more !! :( jungwon and heeseung were so meant to be friends like 🥹🥹 omg in the ghost episode when jungwon slept in heeseung's bed was the first time i realized that he rlly lets himself be a kid around hee 🥰 NO YEAH MY HEART BROKE THAT EPISODE 😭 heeseung's sobbing actually hurt me holy shit i hate mnet for what they put those boys through

omg i felt so sad when jay went up without riki and started crying into k's shoulder 😭 ALSO WHEN JAY DID HIS MASSAGES FOR EVERYONE LOLL i definitely feel like jay jake riki and sunoo (and daniel) grew a lot closer in ground but i was so soft for jayki:') 💘💘 OMG YES SUNOO AND JAEBEOM WERE SO CUTE i just feel like they matched each other's energy so well !! i wish iland showed more interactions because jaebeom clearly had gotten close with more ilanders (sunghoon nominating him for parts, them using sunoo's call to call jaebeom) but i think mnet just focused on the drama + training + a few select friendships

that part where taki was crying on his way to ground and sunoo held his hand and walked him to the building ☹️☹️ they were too cute!!! but yes i remember their pictures together from hanging out n im so happy they're still close 🥰 omg "my one and only unit" changed the trajectory of my life forever like it's been my bio for two years now because of how insane of a hold it has over me 😵‍💫 02z were so so cute :')) part of the reason why i was so sad that ej got eliminated in pt 1 but we got so many cute jaykehoon moments 🥹💖 the entire ghost episode made me ADOREEE them like jake and sunghoon going everywhere together and pranking jay in the bathroom,, then their little dispute "i'll walk you to your room and then we'll walk to mine" "you cant even walk to your room by yourself??" and then jake getting all riled up and saying he could only to run back to sunghoon 😭😭 AND JAY AND JAKE SAYING THEYD SHOWER TOGETHER BC THEY WERE SO SCARED 😭🤚

omg yes jay was so cute around k he let himself be a little brother 🥹🥹 i think he needed that person he could go to and be vulnerable because he tried to put up a strong front a lot of the time and was under so much pressure 🤧 literally cried at the part of him writing all of those letters with his mosquito bitten hands :(( omg yeah i wanna know if enha have more idol friends HAHHA i know heeseung's friends with jeongin, beomgyu, and lim jimin and i know a few members are friends with tnx members OH and shotaro and riki are friends 🥰🥰💖💖

HAHAH no need to apologize i feel insane over iland friendships too 😵