#(ignore me i should be asleep)

[fallentheatre]

each other's world, torn apart

minecraft end poem as a conversation between two broken brothers.

(@hoverboards-and-dragons heyyyyy)

[possamble]

realizing im kind of a weirdo about laios and marcille

[jrueships]

im going into my new work tomorrow, first time ever😐

[starheirxero]

anyway i originally came in here to say

i am approaching

(in 2 days)

CUTELY BELATEDLY ANSWERS THIS ON THE DAY OF. GET OVER HERE BOY>!!!!!!!!

[zukkaoru]

they should invent a me who can sleep through the night

[claitea]

a little personal project i'm slowly chipping away at, thought it would be fun to make it into a chart that i add a doodle to every time i finish a new character so i can track how i'm going with it!

by project i just mean i want an oc of each type. i'm not making a game or anything the positions listed are purely for fun HDJBFJFKE

[sexynetra]

for the fanfic ask game, 🏅 and 🌙 !!

🏅 What is something you recently felt proud of in regard to your writing (finished a fic, actually planned for once, etc).

Honestly finishing the gift for saph was huge I haven’t really written anything since April 😭

🌙  What time of day do you prefer to write? Why?

When I had a job it was during my shifts 🤭 but now that I’m unemployed…. Probably evening/nighttime? I honestly don’t usually use my computer during the day often 😂 but we’ll see once school starts again and I’m on my computer more if that shifts

[sparkleyiff]

Not sure if I'll be doing anything more for artfight this year I am. suffering. sorry :(

[legolasghosty]

Ohh for the fluffy dialogue prompts can you do 2. “I feel like I can breathe better with you around.” for Willex please? <3

Yessss, I am so sorry about how long it's taken me to get to this!!! But here you go!!! Also... I am so very sorry for how angsty this got! Send me another ask and I'll get you some actual fluff next time! Yikes!

Alex waits till the hall light clicks off. Then he counts slowly to 100 to give his parents plenty of time to get to their room and shut the door. Once he's sure they're out of earshot, he slowly sits up and pulls his phone from under the pillow. There's a text from Willie on the screen from about five minutes ago.

Willie - I'm outside. Do you need help?

Alex quickly types out a negative response, then forces himself up and out of his bed. This won't take long, and the noise generated by a second person would greatly increase the chances of him getting caught.

He can't get caught. Not this time. Not after...

No. He's getting out tonight. Away from rules that don't make sense and pointed glances and people surrounding him, laying hands on his shoulders, all praying aloud at once and proclaiming victory over The Enemy when Alex collapsed to the floor, tears leaking from his eyes as he fought to keep from drowning.

He can't take it anymore. Not after that. He can't fake it.

Alex pulls out the half packed suitcase from under his bed. No time to be tidy, he just has to be fast and quiet.

The last couple of his comfy shirts and pants go into the suitcase, then some socks and underwear. One of his warmer coats and a white button down go in as well. Gotta be practical when running away from your homophobic family, right?

Willie promised to handle all the hygiene products, so Alex doesn't bother risking a trip to the bathroom for his toothbrush or shampoo. He adds all of the spare drumsticks he keeps at home to the suitcase. There aren't many. In goes a picture of him and his big sister when they were in middle school, and the cardboard box that holds all of Alex's ticket stubs and cards and things from his friends.

And that's it. There's other things in the room of course, but nothing Alex wants to take with him. Most of it doesn't even feel like it belongs to him anyways.

It belongs to Alexander Mercer, the quiet, serious boy who studies his Bible all the time and never talks back to his parents and blushes at the thought of holding hands with the pastor's daughter. Not Alex, the snarky, anxious wreck who wrestles with his friends and plays his drums till his hands tremble and curls up against his boyfriend's side at movie nights.

Alex takes a shaky breath. When was the last time he got a proper breath? Has he even been breathing the last hour or so? He's not sure.

He zips up the suitcase, grabs his fanny pack, and texts Willie that he's ready to go. He receives a heart and a thumbs up in less than 30 seconds.

It takes him a minute to get the window open. The last time it got opened was probably last fall or something. As he carefully removes the screen, something moving outside catches his eye.

"Alex?" comes a soft whisper.

"Yeah, right here," Alex responds, placing the screen on his bedroom floor.

Willie appears on the other side a moment later, the dim light from the street casting shadows over their face. Alex feels his lips twist up in his first real smile of the day.

"Hey," Willie murmurs, resting his hands on the window sill. "You wanna get out of here?"

Alex bites back a sob and nods.

It takes them a few minutes to get Alex's stuff out the window and into Willie's car. Once it's done, Willie guides Alex over to the passengers side and helps him in before running around to hop into their own seat.

Willie places the key in the ignition, then turns to Alex. "You sure?"

Alex doesn't hesitate. "Yeah. Let's get out of here."

Willie nods and turns the car on. They drive slowly out of Alex's neighborhood, then turn onto a bigger street. Alex tries to focus on the stores they're driving past to ground himself, but it doesn't work.

What does work is focusing on Willie. Paying attention to the strands of hair that have escaped their low bun to frame their face. Noticing the way his hoodie sleeves are bunched up around his elbows because Willie always runs warm. Taking in the way the tapping of their fingers against the steering wheel matches the beat of the music playing softly from the radio. Memorizing the determined glint in his eyes when the streetlights catch them.

Alex loves them. And he knows that a love like theirs can't be wrong. It's just love, just like anyone else's.

Willie pulls into their driveway and parks the car. Alex looks up at the dark Covington residence and takes in another shaky breath.

"You ready for this?" Willie asks, turning to Alex and holding out a hand.

Alex laces their fingers together and squeezes. The steady pressure of Willie's hand in his seems to relieve some of the tightness in his chest. The caring, concerned look in their eyes removes the huge weight pressing down on his shoulders. The gentle tone of his voice slows the massive waves battering Alex's mind.

"What?" Willie says then, smiling. "What's that look for?"

The question startles a chuckle out of Alex. "I feel like I can breathe better with you around," he answers softly.

"I'm glad," Willie murmurs.

He slowly raises his other hand to cup Alex's cheek, giving him plenty of time to pull away as they lean in. Alex doesn't, instead meeting them halfway in a sweet kiss.

After a second, Alex pulls back. "Shall we get inside?" he says.

Willie nods and gives him a wide smile. "I thought you'd never ask."

[floral-hex]

real depressing, probably delete when I’m not miserable and about to fall asleep

Ummm how do trigger warnings work here… tw: substance abuse. Alcohol. Uhhhhmmm just general sad times.

I’ve been thinking a lot about drinking again. Not that I was ever an alcoholic, but… maybe I was a little. I get a little loose with anything that makes me feel good. Long story short, apropos of nothing, I got drunk one New Year’s Eve a couple years back. It was nice. Then I kept getting drunk once or twice or thrice every week for a year before I decided it wasn’t worth it any more. Stopped being as effective, made me gain a bunch of weight, and was just all around a pricey habit. So… I mean, why would I think about doing that to myself again?

Life fucking sucks. A lot. My mom is slowly dying, some days worse than others. I’m so drained and exhausted and I hate this. She’s been in the hospital for about a week now, her second extended hospital stay in two months. I don’t know how to cope with this. I’m taking care of my brothers right now and it’s just so much. Cleaning, shopping, making sure they eat, taking care of them, the animals, everything, driving to see my mom who’s almost an hour away. I’m emotionally exhausted and I feel so alone and scared and to add on to that my hearing started to get muffled today and I’m worried another wave of intermittent hearing loss is coming on. It makes me feel so closed off. I’m trapped. I feel trapped and suffocating and scared and my mom is dying and I’m so alone and don’t know what to do and I just want something that will, even temporarily, take some of that away. I used my last klonopin today and it didn’t do much of anything for me. I just want to get so fucked up out of my mind that I can’t worry about anything. I’m barely sleeping. I’m so tired. I just want to be held. I want someone to hold me and tell me it will all be okay, even if it won’t. I just want someone to lie to me and comfort me for a little while. I’m so scared. I don’t know how to do this. I can do this because I have to. I don’t know how, though. I’m just flinging myself forward, or the world is pushing me forward, I can’t tell the difference right now. I hate saying all of this. I feel so needy. I know I’m allowed to be needy. My therapist gets on to me for always qualifying what I’m saying or down playing or ignoring my feelings, but I feel like such a burden when I complain. I don’t want to be selfish. I’ll suffer in silence all day, I don’t want to add more stress to everyone else. I have to be a rock. I have to be steadfast. I don’t know where to put it down. I don’t know where to rest myself. There is no where. There is nothing. My ears are full of droning noise and I’m in this dark room and I feel so cut off from the world. Like I’m in a small dark box and outside the box I know my life is falling apart but I just can’t quite make out what’s happening. I can’t see but shadows through dark glass. I want to stop feeling like this.

So I’ve been thinking about alcohol. and weed. and whining on some dating app about wanting to make out. I took a vistaril earlier, too, but it really didn’t do anything for me. It’s not an anxiety attack, it’s… it’s the void. and sadness. and stress. and loneliness. It’s too heavy. It’s too much.

I just need to sleep. What a loser.

[rosicheeks]

😴

[teruthecreator]

going from like a month of not being able to write to finishing chap 6 in a week Is very funny to me. not sure what it means for me mentally but whatever

[senseiwu]

Oh no

Only now, that my stomach is hurting, I realise,, i forgot to take my tablets yesterday,,,

[twinkskeletons]

have you listened to the new album king. i don't think i can live after this

not yet.. i could but i’m waiting until tomorrow since it’s 2am and i need to sleep rn

[arytha]

poses

im gonna be normal today

[tampon-eater]

Genderfluid revolutionary rioter god bugs bunny canon

saw someone share this on their ig stories and i am obsessed