#help me i fear i will be attacked for this

[scented-morker]

Skz when their overworked idol!gf faints

thank you to the anon that requested this!! it is LONG and idk why I gave so much backstory for all of them, but yolo! 2.3k words, fainting and overworking, a couple mentions of weight loss, worried and stressed skz. I fear this qualifies as angst

Chan

He's plenty familiar with the signs of being overworked

He's been trying to support you in any way possible, sending you meals to the company building and convincing you to get rest

You feel bad about giving the food away to your members and texting him goodnight while still working, but you're just too much of a perfectionist

He's excited to be on music bank at the same time as you because he's been having girlfriend withdrawals bc of how busy you were

So so happy watching you and your group rehearse, fawning over your oversized hoodie and little dance moves

But right as the dance break ends he sees you go down

Is nervous that you tripped, but he's sure you'll get back up fine and he'll just kiss your boo boos later

But then you don't get up, and he sees your members start yelling for help

When he realizes you passed out 🙃

Screw being secretive, he's jumping up onto the stage, taking his hoodie off and using it to prop your head up, interrogating all of your members about the last time you ate and your sleep schedule

He tells your manager that under no circumstances are you performing anytime soon

You're stuck laying in the green room with doctors surrounding you until the show is over and then instead of being sent home, Chan is taking you himself

You WILL BE TAKEN CARE OF, and that is a threat

Spends the next week fawning over you, cooking you meals and cuddling you half to death

"You scared me, angel. Let me take care of you now."

Minho

When I tell you he's pissed

He was so excited when you told him about your multiple stages for the golden disk awards

Until you're at three rehearsals a day along with fittings, photo shoots, and appearances

He loves that you're booked and busy, but not THAT BOOKED

He wakes up to your goodnight and good morning texts only hours apart and he cant think of the last time you were home for dinner

He's sent multiple paragraphs to your manager and emailed your company, to no response

He keeps telling himself he just has to make it through the award show and then everything will calm down

However, the lights going down at the end of your stage aren't dark enough to hide you fainting half way off the stage, and he doesn't even notice when he jumps to his feet

He gets yelled at to sit back down, and he only does so in order to grab his phone and call your manager ten times until they pick up

"Oh my gosh she's fine, stop calling."

"She just fainted on stage. She's not fine. Where are you?"

They don't want to tell him, but he pries the information out of them and soon he's tearing off backstage to find you

He kicks everyone out, and he looks so scary that they actually listen

"I'm sorry," your voice sounds so small, still weak from fainting and worried that he's mad at you

But he just shushes you, sitting down on the couch you're stretched out on and pulling you into him

"It's ok baby. You did so good. My strong girl. Just rest."

You sigh into the crook of his neck and he holds you backstage for the rest of the show, idol image be damned

Changbin

HIS BABY IS MAKING HER SOLO DEBUT

He could not be happier or prouder if he tried

He knows it's a lot of work, especially since you're producing and writing all of the songs yourself

He tells himself that he's overreacting, it's normal to see less of you when you're working on such a big project

But you always feed him with updates and stories about your day

So when he hasn't heard from you in three whole days, he's showing up at your stage rehearsal

He doesn't care what anyone says, he needs to physically see you or he's going to have a heart attack

He's relieved when you walk on stage, because at least you're alive

But it doesn't take very long for him to notice the dark bags under your eyes or the way your hand is shaking around your microphone

The second you hit the ground he's running

A background dancer carries you off stage, and they barely hit the curtain before he's snatching you out of their grasp

He walks with you so gently, sitting down on a couch and cradling you while the nurse takes your vitals

He's the first thing you see when you open your eyes and it squashes all of the fear that had filled your gut about what just happened

"Hi doll." He coos, and you give him a tiny smile

"I missed you"

Once you're cleared he's ordering takeout to his dorm and taking you home

Your performance is postponed because Changbin still hasn't put you down a week later

Hyunjin

He knows how excited you were to be going on tour for the first time, and that reminder has been the only thing getting him through

Every time you're meant to come home your company adds another night or a new leg, and Hyunjin is SICK OF IT

Poor guy has not seen his girlfriend in OVER A MONTH

He loves you so much that he watches clips of every show and performance

And he knows you so well that he notices the hollowness of your cheeks and the way you've started to struggle to keep up your energy on stage

Buys a ticket right then and there to your next show, not trusting anyone else to take care of you

He's standing in the wings as you and your group finish your first set of songs, rushing off stage to change outfits

He legit screams when you go down, and if the fans didn't notice before they definitely did after that

One of your members picks you up and soon there's a flurry of people running around trying to make sure you're ok

The other girls are shooed away to go change, with a manager insisting "the show must go on"

Hyunjin sends the man what is quite possibly the dirtiest look to ever exist

When you come to, your boyfriend is holding onto you for dear life, fighting away any staff member that tries to talk to you or coax you back onto the stage

He takes you back to your changing room and locks the door, feeding you small bites like a child and stroking a hand through your hair

"Don't worry about them, be here now. I got you."

Jisung

He's shocked when you casually mention news of your comeback at lunch together one day

"Aren't you not even done with this promotion yet? How are you already having another comeback?"

You shrug, saying something about your brother group not doing very well revenue wise and your boss wanting to take advantage of your groups current success

Jisung frowns at that, but decides to keep it to himself, surely as your companies main money maker you'll be well taken care of

But then you don't come home after your music bank performance because you have to run to a dance rehearsal

And then you have to cancel date night to re-record an entire song

Jisung shows up at the first sound check for your new comeback, and you happily give him a kiss before heading onto stage with your group

He frowns, worried about how small you felt in his arms and how weak your hold on his hand was

He sees you teeter once, accidentally bumping into another member before fully crashing onto the stage

He feels like he can't breathe watching the girls try to get you up and responsive

Your fans are screaming and there's a paramedic running over

He's holding onto your hand the entire time your vitals are being taken, tears streaming down his face

Once you're cleared he's wrapping you in a blanket and holding onto you like you're made of glass

When you wake up he's promising to never ever let you out of his sight again

"We're becoming a duo. You're never allowed to scare me like that again."

Felix

He is worlds proudest boyfriend

He gets to watch HIS GIRL perform onstage AT COACHELLA

He'd spent the day with you, taking pictures of your festival outfit and reapplying your sunscreen to try and keep you safe while in the middle of the literal desert

You'd kissed him goodbye three hours before your stage was scheduled for, needing time to get ready and have some extra rehearsal time

He isn't sure why considering you'd had rehearsal every day this week while also making interview appearances and flying to different locations in between instead of sleeping

He's trying his best not to worry, but your eyes are looking hollowed and he isn't sure the last time you slept in an actual bed instead of a plan seat

It makes him sad to see you unable to give your best energy during the performance, though you even at 50% was still the most exciting performance of the day

He plans on being backstage when you exit after at least two more encores, but you apologize for no encore tonight and are only halfway off the stage when you go down

Let's out the worlds biggest gasp

He follows right behind the paramedic that carries you off the stage and into the back, refusing to be more than a foot away from you at all times

He calls and cancels the rest of your appearances himself, insisting that you need to be resting

You do not escape his hold or your bed for the next two days

"Just let me take care of you! You deserve some princess treatment right now."

Seungmin

He's so so excited that you're also at lalapalooza bc that means you guys can spend time together even tho you're working!!

You're even an mc, so he gets to stare at you on the screen backstage, which just so happens to be his favorite hobby

He wasn't expecting your group to actually perform considering you'd just finished the Japanese leg of your tour and had been performing every night for the last few weeks

But he sees your stage listed on that days performance list, and he frowns thinking about it

He'd made you tea last night after you'd showed up to his hotel room on the verge of losing your voice, and you were so tense when you laid down that he'd rubbed your back for almost an hour with no difference

"Are you sure you should be performing?" He asks as soon as he enters your changing room

"No, but it's just one more stage and then I get to rot in bed for a while. So I'll be okay."

He still doesn't like it, and he shakes his head but gives you a hug anyways, rubbing a soothing hand down your arm

"You better."

He's so stressed he can't stay in the boys waiting room and he stands under the stage as he watches the lift take you and your group up

He catches a glimpse of your performance from the monitor to his left, and he barely breathes until you're taking your last bows

It isn't until the stage starts moving to bring you back down that he sees you wobble uncertainly before falling onto the ground

All of your members jump in surprise, but they don't even have time to react before he's jumping up with them, the lift not even fully on the ground yet

He picks you up and lays you down on one of the spare blankets backstage, propping your head up against his torso while the rest of your body lays between his legs

His thumb rubs your cheek while the medical team checks you out, clearing you when you become responsive

You blink up at him slowly, eyes shiny from unshed tears

"I guess I was wrong."

He sighs, letting you bury yourself into his chest

"That's okay, I've got you now."

Jeongin

End of the year award shows were no joke, and Jeongin knew you were working hard for your performances

Your group had just finished promoting your last album when the never ending flood of award shows started, and he'd found you knocked out asleep in the most random places the past couple weeks

He hated that your group had such loud antis, because he knew how much pressure you were under to prove yourself

You'd told him about the strenuous dancing you were doing, learning borderline acrobatic tricks while conditioning like you were trainees all over again

He'd done his best to remind you to rest and slip protein bars into every bag you owned, but he knew you were past exhausted

He momentarily forgot his worrying when you were performing, and he let out cheers and danced with the rest of his group while you and your members put on an incredibly challenging performance

But all of the fun was drained out of the air when he saw you go down on stage as soon as the camera zoomed in on your maknae's ending fairy

The lights drop, and Jeongin whips his head around in every direction, trying to think of anything he can do to help

Hyunjin asks him to “go to the bathroom” with him as soon as you’re offstage, and that’s all the clearance Jeongin needs to go running backstage

You’re already awake when he finds you, small tears slipping down your face while you nurse on a water bottle

You can’t even say hi before he’s practically tackling you, pulling you so close that you can feel his own heartbeat in your chest

“Are you okay? Oh my gosh you scared me. Don’t ever do that again.”

Your members leave the two of you be while Jeongin clings to you, refusing to let you go for hours, constantly brushing his hands against your heartbeat

[k1ng-ej]

Hiii bestie >:3 maybe about some fluff with art? Something along the lines where Art kills the readers assaulter/stalker

Devil in disguise

Art The Clown x Reader

Note: first time writing for this silly man and writers block completely messed up how i originally wanted to write this </3

As you tread carefully along the dimly lit sidewalk toward your apartment, you wrapped your arms tightly around yourself, seeking warmth from the biting chill of the night. The hour was late; the roads were deserted, not a single vehicle in sight, and the absence of life around you heightened the sense of isolation. Working the closing shift had left you with the unsettling task of walking home alone in the dark—a decision that felt increasingly unwise with each passing moment. Yet, the lure of extra income was too tempting to resist. Living solo and managing the costs of rent was a constant struggle, and you were barely making ends meet.

You shivered, instinctively rubbing your arms to generate warmth as you walked, your eyes darting around for any lurking threats that might be stalking the vulnerable—like you. Just as you started to relax, convinced there was nothing amiss, your senses remained on high alert.

Before you fully grasped the situation, you found yourself yanked into a shadowy alley and forcefully pressed against a brick wall, your head crashing against it. The world started to swirl around you, and a low groan escaped your lips as you struggled to focus on the figure standing before you. With your head pounding and your ears ringing, a male voice gradually broke through the fog in your mind, barely reaching your awareness.

"Are you listening? I said give me your fucking wallet!" he hissed, pressing something cold to your neck.

You blinked, trying to gather your bearings and carefully deciding your next moves. Cursing under your breath, you held your hands up in surrender. "Fuck man! It's in my right pocket!"

Your attacker pressed the sharp tip of a knife against your throat, while his other hand rummaged through your pocket for your wallet. He lacked caution, and you winced as you felt warm blood begin to trickle down your neck and chest. It felt inevitable, a grim reality you had anticipated. Anger mixed with despair bubbled within you as you realized the repercussions—how would you manage to pay this month’s rent? Meanwhile, the flicker of defiance sparked in your mind, but you questioned your chances against a blade. The odds were stacked harshly against you.

The man in front of you muttered curses under his breath while frantically searching for your wallet, his intense focus momentarily easing the pressure on your neck. This was your chance. You swiftly drove your knee into him, striking him between the legs. He gasped and staggered back, clearly taken off guard. Seizing the opportunity, you bolted out of the dark alley and onto the sidewalk. For a fleeting moment, you contemplated yelling for help, but the late hour reassured you that everyone was likely sound asleep, oblivious to your plight.

Your lungs screamed with exertion as you raced across the street, desperately trying to put space between yourself and your attacker. To your shock, he recovered quickly from the blow and was close on your heels. Distracted by your fear, you failed to see the person in front of you and collided with their chest, stumbling backward with a startled yelp. You immediately began to apologize as you hurriedly scrambled to your feet.

You narrowed your eyes in disbelief as you faced an unexpected figure: a man clad in a striking black and white clown costume. His face wore an emotionless expression, and a black trash bag was slung casually over his shoulder. Despite your instinctive skepticism about this peculiar stranger, desperation drove you to seek his assistance in escaping the knife-wielding pursuer behind you. After all, how threatening could a clown really be?

"Please, I need help! T-there's a guy chasing me-"

“Hey!” Your pursuer has finally caught up, slowing down to a jog behind you. He glanced between you and the clown, donning an innocent smile while concealing the knife behind his back. “Why did you run away? Come here,” he called out, attempting to lure you closer with his free hand, pretending to be your friend.

You stood your ground beside the enigmatic clown, clinging to the hope that he was merely an ordinary person who would come to your aid. You could almost see the gears whirring in his mind as he glanced back and forth between you and your assailant, seemingly grasping the gravity of the situation. A wave of unease washed over you when a sinister grin crept across his face, and without warning, he dropped the trash bag, letting it fall with a series of unsettling clatters. Your attacker, now visibly confused, appeared to lose patience as he brandished the knife threateningly in front of him.

"Listen, if you both don't give me your money now you'll regret it," he threatened, inching closer.

The clown raised a finger, signaling for everyone to hold on, before eagerly rummaging through his trash bag, clearly searching for something particular. You instinctively stepped back from the unfolding scene, your heart pounding in your chest. Uncertainty gripped you; all you wanted was to return to your run-down apartment and sink into the solace of sleep.

The clown retrieved an object from the bag but swiftly concealed it behind his back, wagging a finger at your attacker while beckoning him to approach. With a mix of caution and curiosity, the attacker stepped closer, attempting to catch a glimpse of what the clown was hiding.

In an instant, all that met your senses was the sight of the clown swinging, the vivid red splattering across the scene, and the horrifying sound of a skull cracking. You gasped, recoiling as warm crimson droplets splashed onto your face. With a trembling hand, you brushed one of the blood droplets from your cheek, only to grimace at the deep stains now marking your skin.

You stood frozen in horror as your attacker staggered backward, collapsing onto the ground. The knife slipped from his hand, clattering away in the chaos. He let out a cry, desperately cradling his head with trembling hands. Meanwhile, the clown stood over him, a sinister smile playing on his lips, reveling in the scene before him. A chilling uncertainty gripped you—who was more terrifying? You took careful steps backward, your eyes fixated on the clown, who loomed menacingly over the fallen man, gripping a hammer with eerie satisfaction.

Without a moment's pause, the clown lifted the hammer and brought it crashing down onto your attacker's skull with a sickening crunch. Blood splattered across the sidewalk, forcing you to fight the urge to vomit at the gruesome sight. You turned your gaze away, unaware of the tears streaming down your cheeks, mingling with the blood droplets. All around you echoed the horrifying sound of bone shattering; the victim's screams had long since subsided. In that chilling moment, a fleeting thought crossed your mind: Would you be considered a suspect in his murder?

A sudden tap on your shoulder made you jump, and you turned to confront the clown, whose makeup now bore red splashes against the stark white. Every instinct screamed for you to flee, to escape as far as you could, yet you remained frozen, your eyes wide in terror.

Your mind lagged far behind, preoccupied with the recent events, barely noticing the clown taking your hand and placing something soft in your palm. As you glanced down, you found a small rag. The clown then gestured to his own face, making a wiping motion.

"Oh… t-thanks." You murmured softly, swiping the cloth across your cheeks to remove the blood splatters. For reasons unknown, you glanced at the clown, raising your brows in silent question, as if seeking confirmation that you had cleaned yourself thoroughly.

He placed his finger on his chin, tilting his head thoughtfully from side to side before finally taking the cloth from your hands. You held your breath as he began to reach for your face. His touch was feather-light as he delicately wiped away the spots you had overlooked. That mischievous grin returned, and he nodded in satisfaction at his handiwork.

You stood in both shock and confusion before finally breaking the silence.

"Um… thanks? For helping me."

The clown waved his hand dismissively in front of him while shaking his head, 'no problem'. You couldn't help but notice how incredibly expressive he was with his body language. While everyone around you would likely have told you to be terrified of him—or even suggested you call the cops after witnessing him murder a man without a shred of remorse—you found yourself feeling a strange sense of gratitude for what he had done, plus the man was intending to rob you and, in your mind, somehow had it coming. In a moment of surprising courage, this gratitude outweighed your fear, leading you to invite the clown to the nearby 24-hour pizza place for a meal, a decision that felt both reckless and oddly thrilling.

[the-cat-and-the-birdie]

Hey, you.

If you're American, and you've been having a hard week egg for.. reasons -

I have something to say to the Americans.

Just remember.

They aren't immortal.

Nobility has lied for centuries. They told us they were placed on the throne by God - the rule of the king being the will of the Creator.

The French proved them wrong.

You are young. They are human. They will one day die.

And on the day they die - regardless of if hell is real or not - there will be a movement when they are laying on that death bed. They will feel their live slipping from their grasp.

And they will feel the fear.

The possiblity of eternal consequence.

They will fear what waiting for them on the other side. The one journey they cannot buy their way out of. The moment the bell tolls for thee.

And honestly, the thought brings me peace.

Trumo and Elon AREN'T demons - though it's so easy to think of them as so.

They are evil humans. And all humans die. Trump? He's 80. He's over three times my age. He's older than my grandmother. He eats McDonald's and Diet Coke like no one's business. Knock on wood I'm betting he's got ten years TOPS.

('I'll be the last president' - my ass. If you take a bad fall it's game over dude. You won't release your health records cause you're most likely due for a heart attack soon mfer. Your minions don't like your candy ass Junior enough to have him as a successor and Baron doesn't fucking care so realistically speaking whats your game plan here? 🤨 Elon's kids have too many daddy issues to take your place. You can't even use a sword. Napoleon would slay you where you fucking stand you pansy)

So if you've been struggling this week, I just wanted to remind you.

Black people won our civil rights without the support from the media, without online social networks, without the support from 90% of white people.

70 years ago, around when my grandma was born - I could not sit next a white person in school. If a white man was walking towards me on the street, I'd have to step into the gutter and let him pass. At risk of being actually killed by the whole town if not.

Nowadays in my city I could tell a white guy my age 'Fuck you!!' to your face. Middle finger and all. And they're not gonna put me in jail for it. No stranger is gonna jump in. The whole town isn't gonna care. If anything, people will just record.

That all happened in ONE generation.

So no matter what Trump does.

Remember. He's not immortal. He will die like we all do.

You're young. You'll have the rest of your life to reverse everything he's done.

That's the thing about personality cults. Once the personality is removed, the whole thing falls apart. And the personality in question is once again - an 80 year old who eats Big Macs and wears suits two sizes too large. A man who would probably get genuinely upset if you asked him to recite his 8 times tables.

If Trump dies in the next 10-20 years, before he turns 100, I'll be 35-45. a.k.a - my generation will be entering the older majority. Our generation will be the eldest and the most influencial. What then?

The Trumpettes won't have their leader for their personality cult so they'll have no one - not even their republican parents - to tell them who to think.

We'll be older, wiser. We'll teach our kids the signs. We'll tell them stories what to do, and invest pubic funds to conserve the history of our fight - to never be erased.

If you're scared this week, I understand.

But remember. We've fought harder with less - and we still won.

So keep your head up. Doom is the tool of the enemy. You keep going, you keep living, and you survive to tear down their legacy while the bastard spins in his grave.

Keep going. Keep your angry hearts and clenched fists. Hold on tight to your love and rage. And keep going.

That's what Hobie would want. That's what a Hobie is there to teach us.

Hope this helped someone, anyone, even if it was a little bit. If this helps you get through the day, or the next hour, with the smallest bit of hope - that's all I want.

Thanks for reading this far! Here's Hobie :)

--------------------------------------------------

And bonus:

Ayo I just gotta add this in here -

Word to god, and when I say this I say this with my whole chest -

I'd be DAMNED before I ever say I'm scared of Donald Trump.

First of all, I'm black and poor. There's been a white man wanting me dead since the moment I left my Mama's hoohaa and guess what, I'm still here. That mfer ain't special. Call me when the klansmen come not when done mfers with tiki torches cosplay call of duty.

Cause none of them coming to the hood..tf.. Try that shit in neighborhood with Bloods and Crips.. Y'all not the only ones with automatics and lots of money. It's just the black people with money and automatics keep shit quiet. If these racist mfers had ppl breaking in they house the way Kendrick had mfers breaking in Drake's with choppers they'd be terrified as fuuuckkk

And secondly there's 4chan fellas out there that probably legit jack off to the idea of a black queer trans person crying in fear. And those mfers can kiss my black ass and kick rocks cause I wake up every day smiling. So -

Anyway I'm done lol

I just had to get this out of my system lol. OKAY BYE FOR REAL

[just-a-girl-who-loves-tmr]

Head canons

Post death-cure, safe haven

Thomas, Newt, Newtmas

I warn you this post is very long so welcome to he inner workings of my brain and 3am

Thomas

- ADHD!! You can’t tell me I’m wrong (this is kinda canon but it’s never actually mentioned) Will hyper fixate on things and neglect his well being

- His eyes are hazel, but they go green in sunlight with a lil bit of gold- that’s why newt’s favourite colour is green because its Tommy’s eye colour in sunlight but he won’t admit it he just says it’s a nice colour

- The type of person who does puzzles for fun. Again he will hyper fixate on a puzzle or task and won’t rest until he’s finished (unless Newt drags him to bed which he has done many times)

- Wakes up at 5am to go on runs with Minho. Minho wakes him up because Thomas gets made if he doesn’t and feels unproductive

- Cold showers all the time- unless he’s showering with Newt, then they compromise because Newt likes hot showers

- Either he’s extremely smart or extremely stupid. There is no in between. He could be going on about diffusion and the movement of particles between galaxies but then he doesn’t know how to tie his own shoe lace without making a huge knot he can never undo.

- He has extreme survivors guilt from everything happened to the point where he has panic attacks because of it. He always feels so guilty for helping WICKED, which of course no one blames him for but he always feels like he betrayed them and on the worst days he feels like he deserved to die for helping them hurt his friends.

Newt

- my baby has separation anxiety (I’m sorry!!) he constantly needs reassurance that the others still like him and especially from Thomas after they get together (which happens I will not be told otherwise) that Thomas still loves him and isn’t going to leave him

- This is also because some of the other treat him differently after he was cured- sometimes treating him like he’s fragile and delicate which Newt hates- he fears that the others don’t trust him and feels like he’s not cured and he’s going to snap and hurt them

- Being sick is also a huge trigger for him- he has a weaker immune system than the others due to the fact that he isn’t immune like they are so he gets sick a lot more often- even if its just a cold he gets super on edge, constantly checking his arms and pulse to make sure he’s still himself

- Thomas is always a help during these periods when Newt is anxious and sick, reminding Newt that he’s cured and that he won’t leave him alone. He makes Newt tea and gives him loads of attention- which Newt doesn’t love at first because he’s independent and thinks he can do it himself until Thomas puts him arms around him and kisses him softly and tells him that he loves him, then Newt just melts

- Convinced he has an acoustic guitar because my sister mentioned to me once that he would suit it and I cannot get the idea out my head. He would play it super well and use it to take his mind off things when his brain gets hectic. He doesn’t like playing in front of people because he gets kinda self conscious when everyone’s looking at him but he plays for Thomas when they’re alone and Thomas can’t take his eyes off him because he looks so beautiful.

- He still writes a lot, journaling, poetry, little stories he makes up. It’s kind of like a therapy thing for him when he gets stressed out and he doesn’t want to talk about it he just writes it down. He occasionally lets Thomas read snippets of his poetry and writing and Thomas loves it. Also loves reading so he and Thomas read together until Thomas gets bored and lays on Newt’s chest while Newt reads to him and plays with him hair

Newtmas

- Nicknames>>> Newt calls Thomas things like Tommy, Love, Darling etc. Thomas calls Newt things like Babe, Baby, angel etc.

- They both get anxious about the other one overworking, Thomas gets worried about Newt’s leg because Newt insists on working a lot to make up for the time he couldn’t work while he was recovering. Thomas knows Newt is okay and that he is independent and capable of doing it himself but he still makes sure Newt takes breaks and massages it for him to take the pain away. Newt gets nervous that Thomas is running too much and not eating enough because Thomas feels like he’s obligated to do it and he needs to do his part, but Newt in turn, makes him take breaks and makes sure he’s eating enough etc

- They are so touch starved when they get to the safe haven they are practically hanging off each other, constantly touching in some way. They’re walking? They’re holding hands. They’re sitting? They are pressed against each other’s side if not on the other’s lap. They’re sleeping? They’re cuddling. It’s little things as first just as they’re getting used to being able to touch each other affectionately whenever they want to but they get comfortable very quickly because they are so familiar with each other.

- To everyone else , Thomas is always the talker and Newt is the listener. Thomas always has something to talk about, literally anything on his mind he yap about to Newt and Newt listens because he loves listening to Thomas babbling about this and that. Everyone else agrees that Newt is the quiet one but god forbid when they’re alone Newt does not shut up. He doesn’t talk as much in large groups but as soon as it’s just him and Thomas he talks and talks about anything and everything that he’s been keeping to himself all day. He gets kind of embarrassed about it when he realises how much he’s said but Thomas loves listening to him talk especially when it’s something he’s passionate about.

- Newt’s limp okay. Newt is very independent and hates the idea that he needs help to get around or that he needs to rely on other people’s support but Thomas always talks him down when Newt’s leg is sore. He protests at first but all Thomas has to do is look at him with his big brown eyes and place a gently hand on Newt’s thigh and Newt gives in. Thomas makes sure Newt rests his leg, carrying him everywhere just to hear Newt whine that he can do it himself but still cling to him, burying his face into the brunet’s hair.

- Thomas has also perfected to making of tea and prides himself in making to tea every time he’s sad or in pain. He always gives the cup a kiss first, he did as a joke first claiming that it tastes better when it’s made with love but now it’s a must do and Newt complains that it doesn’t taste the same if Thomas doesn’t give it a kiss first

Thank you for listening to me yap <3 I’m thinking of doing Ivy trio + Minho separately headcanons so let me know what you think

Ily guys <33

[lonely-ey3s]

With All My Love: Chapter 8

Chapter 8: The Past is a Bitch

Pairings: joel miller x f!reader (no outbreak)

Word count: 16.1k

Chapter Summary: Joel and you throw a barbeque celebrating your arrival with close family and friends. Tommy and Joel battle how to best help you and Maria with your mental health since being back as there are indications you both are experiencing PTSD. Meanwhile later on, as the party goes on, you and Joel make a bet to keep each other on their toes as you both can't seem to keep your hands off each other.

Chapter warnings: mentions of PTSD (nightmares), panic attacks, physical descriptions of panic attacks, SMUT (18+ MDNI), m!oral, f!oral, f!masterbation, filming yourself while you do some naughty things, filming you and joel while you do fun things, spanish dialogue with translations (joel's family speaks it), FLUFFFFFF, joel being the best and most supportive bf, joel and reader being filthy sluts, reader has long hair, mentions of blood/injury, if I missed anything lmk :)

A/N: i know today's going to be a hard day for some of us as there is a lot of uncertainty and fear with how things are going, with how tik tok magically came back, but is being heavily censored, and there are indications of the next few days being really hard and for some very dangerous. i am here with you, i am just as nervous as you. i doom scrolled on redbook and tik tok too late last night freaking out about what people are seeing and saying - just know that in great numbers we are strong and i'm so proud of how much we are fighting back against corruption and complete ignorance, but i also know the fight isn't close to being over with our corrupt politicians and billionaires but we are using our knowledge from A Bug's Life and not allowing those grasshoppers to control our rights. i love you all, please be safe and stay kind to one another. ❣️ enjoy this chapter, i hope it helps take you somewhere else if you need that for a little while today ✨

Dividers by: @saradika-graphics

Main Masterlist

About an hour later Sarah woke up to hearing Tommy’s laugh and ran downstairs, eager to meet Maria. 

Maria and Sarah got along fast as they both were relentless with Tommy, which was a treat to watch. 

The group of you quickly finished the rest of the list and prepared for the party a couple of hours from now. 

Tommy and Joel went out in the back to set up some chairs and start rotating the ribs on the smoker. Sarah was outside as well finishing up with some last-second decorations, making sure everything looked to her satisfaction. 

You and Maria were finishing up the inside, making sure everything was ready to go to either be baked or put out. Maria turned to you, “I heard you ran into Captain Williams in the airport when you got back, how was that?” she said softly. 

You shrugged, “It was good to see him, he seems like a kind man, and glad we got him back safe. His wife was a blubbering mess… huggin’ me like I dragged him from the depths of hell… it was a little overwhelming.” you chuckled, and shook your head. 

“I mean, if it was either of us in his place, those two would have been the same way, worshipping whoever brought us home, ya know? Love changes people…” she nods out to the boys, who you both know would move heaven and earth for you and your safety.

You nodded and smiled looking outside at Joel, “It does…” You looked back at the ranch dressing you were making, “I guess it still hasn’t hit me I have someone like that in some moments, you know? I’m just so used to bein’ on my own…” 

Maria nodded, and hummed, “Speaking of, have you heard from him since being back? Charlie?” 

You shook your head, and scoffed “No… I wasn’t in North Carolina for more than a few hours before Joel and I left for Austin. He had no time to even run into me. I didn’t even get my car.” you tsked and chuckled, “Knowing him though, the piece of shit probably already found it and stole it, who knows…” you put a small spoon in the ranch and did a taste test then adjusted the seasonings. 

“I uh.. I saw him when I got in town… he luckily had no idea who I was, you know… but he looked like shit, someone beat the shit out of him it looked like...” Maria said as she started to lay out paper plates and silverware. 

You didn’t even react, feeling numb to him now, “Hmm, he probably owed money to someone and they beat him for not paying it back.” you put a lid on the ranch and put it in the fridge. 

Maria shrugged, “Well karma came back and that’s all I’ll say about him.” she looked over and smiled at you. 

You smiled softly and nodded, “Agreed… karma.” you looked down at the list and saw you still needed to prep the burger patties. 

Maria got a text and looked over at you then cleared her throat, “Can I ask you somethin’ and you not get butt hurt or mad?” she looked your way, nervous about what she was about to bring up. 

You looked at her from the counter, confused by her question, “Umm sure…” you chuckled not thinking anything of it. 

She let out a small sigh, “What happened this morning?” 

You looked at her, confused about what she meant, “I… what do you mean?” you smiled softly then looked back at the hamburger meat you were prepping. 

“I… I’ll just be honest… Joel’s worried about you… told Tommy you were up early with a bad dream… Tommy asked I check on you.” she turned back to put napkins down. 

You shook your head, “It’s nothin’... I mean you know the shit we saw… bad dreams, they are normal.” you blew off the question, not wanting to dive deeper than that. 

“Y/N… it’s somethin’ when you can’t go back to sleep.” she turned back to you. 

You scoffed, “Maria, it was nothin’... I should have just gone back to sleep… I just…” you clenched your jaw.

“You couldn’t unsee what you saw…” she cut you off. 

You took a breath and looked down at the counter, “It was Z…” you cleared your throat, “I see his body… everywhere… in my dreams… I… last night was just a bad one…” you looked up at her, with sadness in your eyes.

She set down the rest of the napkins and came over and sat on the island next to where you were standing, “I can’t imagine what you saw, what you went through when he died… that’s something you carry that I can’t know or fathom… which means in ways… you’re alone in that trauma…” she looked down as she fiddled with her cuticles, “We both saw, did and went through some fucked up shit over there… it’s normal to you know… deal with some level of trauma.” she looked at you, “I just… I don’t want you to be someone who shoves it down and stays quiet and then it consumes you.” 

She was right, you were notorious for that. Avoidance. When you got to camp, you talked about Charlie once and then never again with her, but she could tell it still impacted you but you never brought it up, and when she tried you’d change the subject. She wasn’t dumb or ignorant and you knew that, but she respected how you weren’t ready to talk and just let it be. However, with this, you both knew how horrible a soldier's mental health could plummet when getting back home, especially if you have PTSD. You were told of the statistics all the time of suicide, self-harm, and alcoholism/drug abuse, drilled during seminars and training. You weren’t ignorant, but you thought you could just avoid it by not talking about it. However, Maria wouldn’t let you do that, and you had a feeling neither would Joel - as he most likely went through it with Tommy at one point when he got home.

“What are you suggestin’ I do then?” you sighed and leaned against the counter. 

“Talk to your boyfriend, let him in… or hell join a group like I’m going to do once I settle here…” she said nudging you with her leg, trying to get you out of your stubbornness. 

You sighed and nodded, “I’ll try…” 

Maria smiled softly and nodded, “That’s all I can ask of you…” 

You nodded and then looked at the time, “Wanna help me get ready?” you smiled, “Help keep Joel off me so this thing starts on time?” you chuckled.

“So they are the same… handsy and horny motherfuckers…” Maria chuckled as she hopped off the counter and headed upstairs with you as you both giggled. 

Joel and Tommy stood outside while you and Maria talked inside, putting chairs and things out from the shed. 

Joel seemed a little disconnected, he felt something was going on with you since this morning but hadn’t got a moment alone with you to check on you. He saw your mood instantly switch when Maria got there, but he knew something happened last night and he wanted to make sure you knew you could reach out to him, he didn’t want you feeling that the nightmares or trauma he knows you went through was going to be too much for him to handle, he wanted to be involved, to be a comfort, he just didn’t know how to help you see that. 

Tommy nudged his arm, “Where’s your thoughts at lover boy?” he chuckled. 

Joel smiled softly and then swallowed softly and cleared his throat, “Did you ever… what happened when you got home? Where was your head?” he asked softly, careful so Sarah didn’t overhear. 

Tommy looked at him concerned, “What happened?” 

Joel shrugged, “I’m not sure, I found out she had a bad dream and had been up for hours right before you came through my front door.” he chuckled sadly. 

Tommy nodded, and unfolded a chair, “Nightmares are common with PTSD, Joel.” he sighed softly. “I had ‘em when I got back. Bad ones… woke up in cold sweats or panic attacks. I’d hide in the closet for weeks after, couldn’t sleep by a window…” he chuckled and shook his head, “Took mama tellin’ me to get my head outta my culo (ass) and get some help.” 

Joel looked at Tommy, shocked, he had no idea it was that bad for him, “What did you do?” 

Tommy smiled, “I went to a local group… then they had me see a therapist, which I saw for about a year.” he took another chair out of the shed, “Maria is going to go to a group once she settles here, maybe she’ll convince Y/N to join her.” 

Joel started to dust off some of the chairs, “Has Maria been struggling?” 

Tommy nodded, “Loud noises are hard for her, she about had a panic attack in the airport… she also deals with guilt, from what she’s told me, they dealt with a lot of death, some they couldn’t help but some part of them blames themselves for not doing enough… I’d be surprised if Y/N doesn’t struggle with that… especially with what happened to Z.” he helped dust off the table and then got his phone out and texted Maria what happened and to reach out to you. 

Joel nodded, “I know Z hits her often, she just won’t talk about it, you know?” he sighed, feeling helpless when it came to these things. 

“I understand. There are just some things they won’t tell us… they think it’ll be too much you know?” he shrugged, “That’s how I felt at least… felt you already had enough on your plate with Rachelle leavin’ and Sarah bein’ a baby, handlin’ her all on your own. I felt guilty for even strugglin’ when you had that goin’ on.” he looked over at Joel. 

Joel looked at him sadly, he would have done anything for Tommy, “I would burn the world for you brother, I’m always here, especially for you.” He touched Tommy’s shoulder. 

Tommy nodded and smiled, “I know… but my younger, stupid, immature, and cocky post-deployment self - didn’t want to believe it.”

They both chuckled and nodded. 

“If it helps… I just let Maria know what happened, and she’ll try to reach out to her, and I’ll let you know what Maria finds out, in case it’ll help you.” he smiled softly, “We gotta stick together with these two, you know?” 

Joel chuckled and nodded, “We’ve got our hands full with them, don’t we?” looking your and Maria’s way. 

Tommy nodded, “I believe we do…” and softly chuckled as he nudged his brother's arm. 

You went upstairs and changed with Maria, she brought a change of clothes as she and Tommy were planning on staying the night and hanging out with you and Joel afterward. 

You had picked out another one of the sun dresses that Joel had in the closet for you, again aiming for comfort but also a part of you wanted to drive him mad all night. You came out of the bathroom and used some body shimmer sunscreen lotion to make your skin glow, Maria saw you and chuckled, “You are evil…” She shook her head as he also had a sundress on but yours was particularly a tease. “Joel is going to be drooling over you all night long…” she got up from the bed, putting on some earrings and last-minute touches to her makeup. 

You looked at yourself in the mirror and smiled cheekily, “I know…” you looked back at her, “Gotta keep him on his toes.” you sprayed yourself with some perfume and then smiled, “Ready to make some jaws drop?” 

She chuckled and nodded, “Oh yes please!” she straightened herself up as well and then you both walked downstairs, both of the brothers getting the grill ready out on the back patio. 

You and Maria both grabbed some towels that needed to go outside for the kids who were going to play in the pool. Then opened the screen door and walked out together. 

Joel and Tommy both were taking swigs of their beers when you both walked out and coughed up their drinks and then immediately followed you and Maria’s bodies as you moved, eyes glued to your curves and how insatiable you both looked. 

“Hey guests are gonna start arriving here in about 20 minutes, ya’ll need to go freshen up?” Maria asked, paying no mind to Tommy’s reaction. 

You walked by as well, and looked at Sarah, “Sarah, wanna help me with the food inside?” 

Sarah came over and nodded, “What do we need to do?” she zoned in, excited to help. 

You looked at Joel, and smiled sweetly, innocently, “Hup too cowboy, go change…” nodded your head upstairs then you went back inside with Sarah. 

Maria followed and closed the door after, both of you smirking as you walked. 

Joel and Tommy both stood there, blood rushing to the right place at the wrong time, smirking and in a daze from you both. 

Tommy cleared his throat, “That… that’s our girlfriend’s, right? We weren’t just graced by god herself, yeah?” still in somewhat shock. 

Joel chuckled nodding, “Cheeky devils those two…” he bit his lip and nudged his brother, “Come on…” he put his beer down and walked inside, closing the door behind him not waiting for Tommy. 

“Hey baby, can I have your help upstairs pickin’ out an outfit to match that…” he cleared his throat seeing Sarah turn around and smile innocently at him, “...beautiful dress you’re wearin’...?” he looked at you and nodded his head towards the stairs, biting his lip eagerly. 

You smirked and came over and pecked his lips, “Two steps ahead of you cowboy, laid out an outfit for you on the bed already…” You winked and continued to walk past him, getting the mac and cheese in the fridge to put in the oven. 

Joel watched your hips as you walked and chuckled lowly, “Oh did ya now?” 

You nodded and looked back at him, “Yes baby, from hat to boot, I got you…” you smiled sweetly and then bent over to put the mac and cheese in. Your thong outline showed through your dress just enough to make Joel’s cock harden immediately. He clears his throat and quickly moves to stand against the counter, “Baby?” his voice cracks slightly. 

Maria snorts and tries not to laugh so she turns it into a cough, “Sorry, my throat is dry…” She takes a swig of her beer, trying not to lose her shit at Joel’s behavior. 

You knew exactly what you were doing, and you felt so empowered by it, you loved making him like putty, so easy to make melt. 

You stood and closed the oven, turning towards him, “Yes sweetheart?” you smiled and put the oven mitts on the stove. 

Sarah came up to you, “Where does this go?” you smiled at her and then looked at Joel and smirked.

He shook his head and clenched his jaw, narrowing his eyes, mouthing ‘Don’t you dare…I need you…now…’ knowing exactly what you’re about to do to him. 

‘I’ll pay for it later.’ you thought. 

You wink at Joel and then look back down to Sarah, “Here, let me show you sweetheart...” you walk with her towards the back door and purposely walk by Joel so that your perfume would waft his way. You open the screen door and look back, “Maria can you help me with somethin’ out here too?” then look at Joel, and blow him a kiss as you three walk out to the yard. 

Joel chuckles and scoffs, biting his lip, “Oh that’s it. Game on.” he said and ran upstairs to change into something he knew would drive you crazy. 

You had laid out a nice cream-colored button-up and dark wash jeans with a tan-colored cowboy hat you found in his closet. 

However, he was playing chess, not checkers as he came down in a dark brown button-up with his sleeves rolled up a little, exposing the veins in his arms, dark wash jeans with a nice belt, and black Stetson hat, with his nice cowboy boots. You had a thong on to be his temptation, so he had a tight-fitting black tee on that form fitted him in every delicious way possible under this button-up that he’d use as his discretion throughout the day to drive you just as mad as he’ll be with you and that dress. 

You were in the kitchen with Maria, laying out the food on the table, when you turned and saw him, immediately feeling the heat pool between your thighs. He clocked you, made immediate eye contact, and smirked. The two of you having this nonverbal conversation between the two of you. You bit the inside of your cheek and raised your eyebrow at him, cocking your head to the side signaling ‘Well played’ and you pursed your lips together and then smirked back, shaking your hands out to gather your composure, before clearing your throat softly, “You look handsome cowboy…” you came up and kissed his cheek before walking behind him and gathering the platter of hamburger patties, “Can you start on these, handsome?” you held up the platter but pushed your elbows together and up to accentuate your cleavage when going to hand him the patties. 

He bit his lip and looked at you, his cock starting to get hard again, he knew exactly what you were doing. He let out a small chuckle, “Of course my love” he bit out of pure frustration, gently taking the platter from you. 

He went to go outside, but Sarah came in and saw him and smiled, “Well don’t you look pretty…” she said looking him up and down, giggling. 

“Shut up…” Joel chuckled before stepping outside. 

Sarah shut the door and you and Mariah let out a laugh, Sarah joining in, “What’s his problem?” 

You smiled and chuckled, “I think he’s a little… hangry…” you lied for her innocence. 

Mariah said under her breath, “You mean horny…” 

You nudged her and she chuckled.

Sarah nodded, “Yeah, he’s such a drama queen sometimes…” she sighed and smiled, “Anythin’ else need to go outside?” she asked softly. 

You shook your head, “I think we are good, do you need to change?” you smiled at her as you laid out the veggie tray. 

She nodded, “I’ll be quick!” she ran upstairs and shut her door to change. 

Maria nudged you, and chuckled, “Joel’s playing fire with fire…” She winked at you and nodded towards him. 

“Yeah… I know. What the fuck… he looks fucking…” you sighed frustrated and chuckled to yourself, leaning towards the counter, looking down to gather what you said next in case Sarah could hear, “god damn he’s good in that damn hat.” you looked up and rolled your shoulders, and then your head side to side, “What a menace…” clearly just as sexually pent up as Joel.

Maria chuckled and Tommy came in, he had changed as well and also looked very handsome, you smiled, “Lookin’ sharp Miller…” You nodded towards him. 

Tommy chuckled, now cooled down and even headed, “You two started it… with those damn… dresses…” he looked at Maria up and down, eyes hungry. 

You cleared your throat, breaking his gaze, “Reginald, eyes forward… there’s a child upstairs.” you scoffed jokingly and chuckled as you walked past him to take a beer to Joel outside. 

You opened the screen door and came up behind Joel, “You seem a little thirsty cowboy… need a drink?” you smirked seeing him turn his ear towards you and chuckle lowly. 

He flipped a few burgers then closed the grill, turned towards you, and gently grabbed you by your waist, pulling you against him, growling lowly, “Mmm baby… I need somethin’ else to satisfy my thirst…” he looked at our lips, eyes blown with lust. 

You chuckled and touched his cheek softly, “I’m afraid that’s not an option on the menu this afternoon…” you leaned up and kissed him gently. 

You went to pull back when he captured your lips again and kissed you slower and deeper, and then whispered against your lips, “You’re always on the menu baby…” 

You bit your lip and quickly kissed him again, then pulled away, “Mmm as are you, cowboy…” 

He reached back for your lips, hand slipping down to cup your ass, you put your finger on his lips, “Mmm nice try, not so fast…” you gently pushed away and grinned, “I wanna play a little game with you tonight… I have some rules…” you bit your lip, “I wanna see how long the other can last as we are clearly playing sexual tension chess…” you chuckled, “...the winner gets to choose what happens when everyone goes home… and where… it happens…” you smirked as you saw that piqued his interest, you gathered that Joel might like risky location sex which was something that made you a little nervous, “You interest?” you tilted your head and put your hands behind your back, cutely. 

He nodded and smirked, “Go on, what are the rules darlin’?”

You stepped one step back to explain without distractions, “Rule 1, no funny business kisses.”

Joel bit his lip and chuckled, “Easy. Next…” 

“Rule 2, while we are with or around others, no gawking… if the other person catches the other… automatic loss.” you smiled at him, “In other words, we can gawk, just not get caught by each other.” 

Joel nodded and grinned, leaning against the grill, taking a swig of the beer, “That’ll be a fun one…” 

“Lastly, rule 3, dirty talk is free game, but… no touching… only thing we can do is hold hands.” you cocked your head challenging him. 

He stood up and scoffed, “No touching? How… I…” 

You smirked, “Ready to throw in the towel?” you raised your eyebrow. 

Joel clenched his teeth and let out a breath, his competitive side being poked. He grinned, and rolled his shoulders, chuckling, “Ok… you’re on. Deal.” 

You smiled and chuckled at his reaction, “Before we start, is there anythin’ you need to get out of your system?” tilting your head innocently at him.

He nodded and immediately swarmed you, taking your cheeks in his hands, smirking against your lips, “Oh god yes, one funny business kiss…” 

You giggled against his lips and put your hands on his chest, pulling him in by his shirt as he leaned in and kissed you slowly and deeply once, then he went to pull away, “Mmm wait, one more for good luck…” you pulled him back and he chuckled and kissed you once more, humming against your lips and then slowing pulling away, keeping his eyes closed, lingering close to you. 

You stayed like that for a few moments before hearing the doorbell ring and then giggling, “Let the games begin!” you pulled away and walked towards the screen door, holding out your hand for him to take, “You comin’...?” you opened the screen door and waited for him. 

He bit his lip and chuckled, “God I love you…” he grabbed your hand and walked with you to the front door. Tommy saw him come inside and traded places with him, taking over the grill so he could greet the guests. 

Joel opened the front door and was greeted by two older gentlemen, “Hey! We brought booze!” Frank said excitedly and stepped inside, giving Joel a pat on the arm. 

“You must be the famous Y/N that Joel hasn’t shut up about!” Frank winked at Joel and hugged you, kissing your cheek gently, “It’s so lovely to meet you!

Bill stepped in after Frank and grumbled, “I also brought a couple of pies…” 

Joel chuckled and let go of your hand, “Here Bill, let me get those for you…” he grabbed two pies from Bill's hands, kissing your cheek softly, “I’ll go put these in the kitchen…” 

You instantly remembered who these two were from Joel mentioning them a few times over Skype, “Oh my gosh, you’re the famous Bill and Frank! Joel’s told me so much about you! I am so happy you are here!” you hugged Bill and kissed his cheek softly, after letting go of Frank, “Come! Grab some food! Tommy is manning the grill so go get a burger too.” you smiled sweetly grabbing their arms and walking between them to the kitchen. 

Maria smiled and came over to greet them too. 

The doorbell rang again and Joel looked over at you immediately and smiled. He reached for your hand, and the both of you greeted guest after guest like this, together. 

About an hour later the house and yard were full of people, most were either long-time friends of the Miller brothers, family friends, or neighbors of Joel’s. 

You and Joel were in the kitchen, both corned by different people. 

You were corned by Mrs. Rose, she kept telling you stories of Joel when Sarah was little, although they were adorable and you loved hearing how great of a dad he is and was when Sarah was smaller, you felt you were drowning and needed a lifeline of some sort. 

Joel was corned by Frank, he kept asking the obvious questions, how were things going, had you guys talked about you moving in, all of the usual gossip topics Frank loved to discuss. 

You both heard the doorbell and like a god-given blessing, both excused yourselves. 

You chuckled as you both met in the entryway, “Mrs. Rose can talk, can’t she?” you joked and it made Joel laugh a deep hearty laugh, “You have no idea my love…”, and Joel opened the door, and turned his attention to see who was there, his face instantly turned to a shocked expression, “Mama?” 

A beautiful older woman stood on the front step, “I’m so sorry I’m late mijo… traffic was horrible!” she reached in and grabbed Joel by the cheeks, pinching them gently, and kissed him on the cheek then hugged him quickly, pushing her way inside, on a mission, “I brought empanadas… they are in car, tú o tu hermano tendréis que ir a buscarlos.” (You or your brother will need to go get them.)

Joel chuckled and kept a hold of your hand as you were now hidden behind his back, hugging her with the other arm, “Mama, Tommy said you couldn’t come, said you had something come up?” 

His mom pulled away, glared at him like he was crazy, and tsked as she slapped his arm softly, “Traes a una chica a casa, cambio mis planes, mi amor.”  (You bring a girl home, I move my plans around, my love.) 

You smiled from behind Joel, understanding every word she was saying as you took Spanish in high school. 

Joel blushed and smiled, then nodded, lightly chuckling. 

She looked around eagerly, not seeing you were behind Joel's figure as she had kept you guys in a tight space, “¿Bien? ¿Dónde está ella?” (Well? Where is she?)

Joel smiled lovingly at his mom and then moved aside slightly, “Mama this is Y/N…” 

You peeked out and smiled brightly, shyly tucking a strand of hair behind your ear, “Hello Mrs. Miller… it’s so lovely to meet you…” you held out your hand. 

She lightly gasped and held out her arms, “Cariño... ella es hermosa!” (Honey… she is beautiful) then she pulled you in for a gentle hug, “You must call me Elena, mi querida…” (my darling) she pulled back and put your face in her hands, “Come… we must talk.” she grabbed your hand and started to walk with you. 

You chuckled and looked back at Joel as she practically dragged you with her, smiling warmly and mouthing, ‘You didn’t tell me your mom was coming!’. 

He chuckled and shrugged then winked and watched, “I’ll go get the empanadas, mama!” and he left out the front door. 

She waved her hand to dismiss him and tsked, focused on getting somewhere to talk to you. 

Elena whisked you through the kitchen and out onto the patio, humming happily to herself, clearly on a mission. 

Tommy saw his mother weaving through the ground, you clocked his eyeline and nodded your head towards the kitchen as that was where Maria was. He nodded and knew exactly what you were saying, ‘You need to give her a heads up.’ 

“Uh… Mrs. Mi- I mean Elena… can I get you something to eat or drink?” you smiled down at her as you walked. 

She smiled and gasped, finding two lawn chairs, “¡Perfecta!, we must sit here!” she sat in one, and you sat in the other. 

You softly chuckled, “I must be honest ma’am, I didn’t know you were coming, I would have set you up a shaded area aside.” you looked at her softly. 

She waved you off softly, “¡Disparates!” (Nonsense!) “No need for that, I’m an old woman, but not one that needs special treatment, si?” she smiled warmly at you. 

You nodded, “Yes ma’am.” you looked down shyly, messing with the hem of your dress. 

She reached over and put a hand over yours, “Tell me… how does my son treat you, hmm? Le enseñé a adorar el suelo que pisas, ¿verdad?” (I taught him to worship the ground you walk on, is he?)

You blushed and continued to look down at your hands, then looked up at her, “He treats me like gold…” you smiled brightly “You raised a good man… he… I…” you looked back down at your hands and let out a small chuckle, “I love him very much, ma’am.”

She smiled and gently squeezed your hand, “He loves you more than I think he’s loved anything but that darling granddaughter he gave me.” 

You looked at her and smiled, “Sarah… she’s… I also love her, she’s so kind… smart…” you chuckled, “... she’s so funny… she’s such a good human. Joel… he’s a good dad.” you looked over at Sarah, playing in the pool with her friends, “She’s everything to me as well. I can’t express how much those two were my drive while over there ma’am… they got me out of a lot of shi-” you cleared your throat, and looked at her apologetically, “stuff…” 

She laughed softly, “You don’t need to tell me, I heard the stories of what you went through…” She looked at you sadly, “I was told you had a little boy… lamento tu perdida.” (I’m sorry for your loss) 

You teared up at Z being called your little boy and looked down sadly, a tear falling on your dress, without thinking responded, “Gracias, aprecio tus amables palabras.” (Thank you, I appreciate your kind words.) 

She gasped, “¿Tú hablas español?" (You speak Spanish?) She looked at you excitedly. 

You looked up, eyes wide, Joel didn’t know you spoke it, you wanted to keep it a bit of a secret, but then chuckled and shook your head seeing her reaction, this meant a lot to her that you spoke in her native tongue. 

“Sí, pero no tan buena como tú, estoy segura.” (Yes, but not as good as you, I'm sure.) you chuckled and winked. 

She laughed, “No, you speak it very well! Oh gracias a Dios…” (Oh thank goodness)

You chuckled and then saw Tommy and Maria heading your way, Maria in her head, looking nervous, “Here, let me go grab you a plate and drink, I’ll be back…” You nodded towards Tommy and stood up, squeezing her hand and smiling as you let go of her hand before passing by the pair of them, whispering to Maria, “She’s going to love you… just breathe.” then walking towards the screendoor. 

You made it into the kitchen and started to gather a plate of things you thought she might like, Joel came in and smiled with a bag of ice over his shoulder, “You got away…” he chuckled and came over, kissing your cheek gently, hovering his hand behind the small of your back, careful not to touch you, he smirked, “How’d it go darlin’?” then walked over to dump it in a bucket you had for beers and soda’s to put outside. 

You smiled and continued to collect food for her, “I think it went well… she’s very sweet. I think she liked the element of surprise though… catching us off guard.” you chuckled. 

Joel nodded, “Yeah, she likes keeping everyone on their toes.” he softly laughed. 

You looked up and smirked a little, “No mencionaste que tu familia hablaba español, mi amor…” (You didn't mention your family spoke Spanish, my love…)

Joel flipped his head around, and his eyes went wide, “You speak Spanish?” 

You chuckled at his reaction and nodded, “Not as well as your mom or you, but yes, yes I do.” you beamed and looked back down at the plate you were collecting. “Took 3 years in high school…” 

Joel grinned and bit his lip then came over and hovered behind you, careful not to touch you but close enough to know he’d drive you crazy, saying lowly, making his voice vibrate against you as he said, “Veo. Así que puedes entenderme cuando digo que eres una niña traviesa por usar esa tanga, ¿no?” (I see. So you can understand me when I say that you are a naughty girl for wearing that thong, right?)

You bit your lip and grinned, goosebumps spreading down your body, heat pooling between your legs again and your cheeks blushing, “Si, mi amor…” (Yes, my love) you said then turned around, careful not to touch him, and looked up at him, “Lo que significa que me entiendes cuando digo que espero usar ese sombrero mientras te monto esta noche…” (Which means you understand me when I say that I expect to wear that hat while riding you tonight…)

Joel smirked down at you, and leaned his hands against the counter to corner you in, “You have no idea how hot it is to hear that come out of your mouth baby…” he leaned in close to your ear, saying lowly, with hunger in his voice. 

Your eyes fluttered closed and you took a deep breath, feeling yourself flutter around nothing at your core. 

You looked at him up and down, slowly grinning, then made eye contact with him “Eso no es lo único que mi boca puede hacer, ¿verdad, vaquero?” (That's not the only thing my mouth can do, is it cowboy?) 

Joel let out a shaky breath, his cock starting to get hard again thinking about what you did to him with your mouth yesterday.

You bit your lip, leaned up, and kissed his cheek softly, “Excuse me mi amor…” you gently used the water bottle you were holding to move his arm to get out of his hold, carefully, not to break any rules before walking back outside, smirking to yourself, leaving him speechless against the counter. 

You walked over to Joel’s mom, she was still talking with Tommy and Maria, all of them laughing about something. 

You softly came up to her and gently touched her shoulder, “Here you go, ma’am…” 

She looked up at you and smiled, taking the plate, “Oh you’re too kind! Gracias…” She looked at Tommy, “Mijo, will you go find your brother?” she nodded towards the house and smiled sweetly. 

Tommy got up from his chair and came over and kissed her cheek, “Of course mama…” he reached back for Maria to come with. His mom shook her head, “No… let her stay here, rest her feet. I’m sure these two have been on them all day.” she smiled at the two of you. 

You came and sat by Maria in Tommy’s chair, gently touching her knee, smiling down at her. 

Maria smiled and nodded at Tommy, “I’ll be ok, she won’t bite baby…” she giggled.

Tommy nodded and leaned down, kissing Maria’s head, “I’ll be back.” he said before walking away to find Joel. 

“So tell me, girls, how have you been since being back?” she took a bite of a carrot stick. 

You looked back at Maria and smiled then nodded towards Mrs. Miller, “For the most part I think we’ve been doing pretty ok. I think it's setting in we are home…” you looked at Maria and she nodded then looked down shyly. 

“Yeah, I agree.” she said softly. 

Elena looked at you both and tsked, “Se honesta conmigo… por favor…” (Be honest with me, please) she sadly looked between you both, knowing you were both putting up a brave face. 

Maria bit the inside of her cheek and sighed softly, “I’m having a hard time being in busy enclosed areas… like the airport was hard.” she admitted. 

You looked at her and gently took her hand in support, “I’m… loud sudden noises I’ve noticed get me. But I’ve also been having flashbacks when sleeping.” you looked down at your hand holding Maria’s and clenched your jaw, feeling frustrated by this, sighing to let it go. 

Elena reached over and took your hand, “Talk to my boys… please. They’ll want to help… want to… solidaria.” (be supportive) She looked at you both with pleading eyes. 

Maria nodded, “Tommy is going to get me into a group locally when I get settled here… said it helped him.” she smiled softly. 

Elena nodded, “Yes, the group was his saving grace.” she sighed sadly, “He felt… uhm… como dices… culpable?” (guilty) 

You nodded, “He felt guilty for putting it on anyone but himself…” you looked at the ground and nodded, “I think that’s how I feel… don’t want to burden Joel with the hell we saw… went through…” you shook your head and tears started to cloud your vision. 

Elena squeezed your hand, “No eres una carga para luchar. Por tener dificultades para comprender y superar lo que pasó.” (You are not a burden for struggling. For having a hard time understanding and moving past what you went through.) 

Maria looked at you, needing translation.

“We aren’t burdens…” you looked at her sadly. 

Elena saw Tommy and Joel starting to walk towards you all from the back door, she looked at them both and nodded, smiling softly, signaling for them to give her a moment more. Both stopped and understood, and got pulled into a conversation with Bill, asking who made the mac and cheese. 

Joel focused on you, smiling softly at the sight of you and his mom together before turning his head towards Bill, explaining it was your recipe.

Elena looked back at you and Maria and reached her other hand for Maria to take, Maria moved in her chair closer and took her hand. She looked at you both and smiled softly, tearing up, “You… both… make my two boys very happy. Ellos viven para ti ahora…” (They both live for you now.) She gripped your hands a little tighter, “Let them take care of you, and give them the chance to help you when you… como decir… struggle?” she didn’t know if she used the right word. 

You smiled and nodded, “We understand… and we will…” You let go of Maria’s hand to wipe a few tears that escaped. 

Elena smiled and nodded, shaking your hands softly, “Bien…” 

You looked at Maria and leaned our head against her, offering her comfort, she chuckled as some tears escaped as well, and she wiped them as well with her free hand. 

You saw Sarah climb out of the pool, “Abuelita!” and grab a towel, running over to her, smiling. 

Elena smiled brightly, “Mi hermosa niña!” she stood from her chair and put her plate down, opening her arms to embrace Sarah. 

Sarah ran over and hugged her tightly, smiling from ear to ear. 

You stood up and looked down at Maria, “I’m going to go grab myself a plate now that everyone’s settled in, you need anything?” 

Maria smiled and shook her head, “I’m good thanks.” 

You nodded and then walked back inside, closing the door behind you, grabbing a plate, and looking to see what was left. 

Frank came in, “There you are! I’ve been waiting for Elena to let you go…” he chuckled. 

You looked up and smiled, “You need somethin’ sweetie?” you asked kindly, starting to put things on your plate.  

Frank shook his head and smiled, “No… not exactly, I just wanted to talk to you more. Get to know you more. Joel… well… he won’t shut up about you, but I’d like to talk to you, get to know you from… you.” he chuckled and got a beer from the counter.

You smiled, “Won’t shut up about me? I’m flattered…” you chuckled. 

Frank sat down at one of the barstools and watched you fill your plate up, “Joel he’s… he’s different. He’s not so grumpy since meeting you.” he chuckled. 

You looked up at Frank, “Joel? My Joel, grumpy?” you tsked and then chuckled, “He can be a bit closed up I’ve noticed, especially with Mrs. Rose…” you chuckled, “... but I can’t imagine him being grumpy…” You smiled to yourself as you grabbed a cucumber slice and took a bite.

“Well that’s Rose for ya, she’ll know the color of your underwear if you’re not careful with what you do and say around her…” he chuckled, “Which by the way, from one gay guy to a woman with a rockin’ body, you played with fire today…” he nodded towards your ass and you turned bright red. 

“Shit, you can see?” you all of a sudden got embarrassed. 

“Honey, every man within an eye shot and a cock between his legs can see you’re either not wearin’ anythin’ or what you are, is very very small…” he winked and laughed softly, taking a swig of his beer, “Joel keeps tellin’ his coworkers to keep their eyes forward and that you’re to be respected… he’s a very possessive man of what’s his.” 

You blushed and couldn’t hide the smile that stretched across your face, “What’s funny is we have this thing goin’ on and h-…” You stopped talking, realizing you were about to dive into this sex bet you and Joel were doing pretty much a stranger. 

Frank leaned forward and whispered, “Sweetheart, I’ve seen your thong, we are well past the ‘new person’ manners and decorum, finish the damn sentence…” he chuckled. 

You blushed and tucked a hair behind your ear, “Ok… fine.” you chuckled and leaned forward too, “We have this bet going on that we can’t… gawk at each other when the other person can see… and we can’t touch each other except for holding hands… so he’s most likely…” you bit your lip and then took another bite of the cucumber, “... a little frustrated if you catch my drift.” you looked at him grinning. 

Frank took a swig, “I like you… you’re fun!” he chuckled and then grabbed your hand, “Come on, we’ve got loads to talk about.” he took you back outside and sat with you on the patio swing. 

The both of you sat and talked for what seemed like hours, the sun had started to set and a few people left, but there was still a majority of the group sticking around, enjoying good food and company.

Joel came over and sat next to you, putting his hand on yours and his arm around the back of the swing, “There you are, I’ve been looking for you...” he kissed your hand softly then cheek then looked at Frank, “Frank that wine you brought, my mom wants to know where ya’ll got it from… it was really good.” he leaned and smiled at Frank.

You smiled against him, gently squeezing his hand when he settled in by you. 

Frank smiled, “Oh I have another bottle in the car, I’ll just give it to her… we got it when we traveled to France a few months ago, and had a crate mailed to us.” he stood up, “I’ll go grab it and be right back.” he set his beer down on the ground and then left to go inside. 

Joel kissed your cheek again once it was just you two, “I’ve missed you… I’ve felt I’ve not seen you much as we’ve been pulled separate ways every damn time I get near ya my love.” 

You smiled and adjusted yourself to look at him better, “I’ve missed you too…” you kissed him softly once then pecked his lips once more. 

He sat back and smiled down at you, “Are we breakin’ any rules by doing this? I’d hate to call a forfeit…” he chuckled softly, rubbing his thumb against your hand softly. 

You shook your head and giggled lightly, “No… we can have this. This is nice… nothin’ can be funny business when I’m sitting and swingin’ with you handsome.” you leaned your head against his shoulder and you two swung softly. 

Joel gently kissed the top of your head and sat with you peacefully. 

A few moments went by then Tommy came over, “Hey you two lovebirds…” he smiled and stood with his hip popped out like he wanted something. 

You smiled at Tommy, “Everything ok?” 

He nodded, “Yeah, can I just borrow Joel for a little bit? Bill wants some help with somethin’ on his truck. We just need a ‘nother set of hands.” he smiled down at you.

You nodded and smiled, “Yeah, of course.” you took your head off his shoulder and kissed his cheek, “I’ll just wait here…” 

Joel turned his head and kissed you softly, then stood up, “We gettin’ dirty?” he looked at Tommy. Tommy nodded, “Most likely… he needs undercarriage help” 

Joel nodded and started to unbutton his button-down, and then took it off, unveiling the tight black tee he was wearing under which was tucked in and had a nice buckled belt on which made him look even more delicious.

The tee exposed his broad shoulders, and thick muscular biceps, roped down with veins that bulged when he flexed to slide out of the button-up. Once taken off, he set it over his shoulder and took off his hat briefly, running his hands through his hair to push it back before putting it back on his head. 

Your jaw hung open and your eyes filled with not one ounce of anything appropriate at that moment. This - this was his thong, the bastard. 

Frank came out before Joel turned around to kiss you. He saw your face and how you were gawking, so he cleared his throat loudly, snapping you out of your daze before Joel saw, saving your ass in this cruel bet you both agreed to. 

You blushed and turned to Frank, he smirked, “I’m going to run this over to Mrs. Miller then I’ll be right back.” he walked towards that area of the yard, wine bottle in hand. 

Joel looked down at you, smirking, “You were gawking weren’t you?” he leaned down, chuckling, gently kissing your lips. 

You smiled against his lips, “I don’t know what you’re talkin’ about cowboy.” you gently flicked the brim of his hat and winked before kissing him gently once more. 

He pulled back, “I’ll be back, don’t go far darlin’…” he smiled at you and walked out with Tommy to Bill and his truck. 

Joel and Tommy went out to the driveway and started helping Bill with something regarding his suspension, all of them getting greasy and a little messy. 

After about 20 minutes went by, Bill was trying to loosen a bolt near his strut and was getting frustrated as it wouldn’t come loose, “This damned thing…” he readjusted the wrench and his position and went to try again but his hand slipped and something sharp in the undercarriage and sliced through his palm and up his wrist, “Ah, fuck…” he grabbed his wrist, dropping the wrench, sliding out from under the truck. 

Tommy looked down with a flashlight at him, “Fuck…” 

Joel came around and saw, blood coming out pretty quickly. “Shit.” 

He yelled hoping you would hear him, “Y/N! Baby, we need help!” he looked at Tommy after a moment, “Go, go get the girls.” 

Tommy nodded and ran in and went to grab you both. 

You were laughing with Frank when you heard Joel yell for help. You sat up quickly and clocked Maria from across the yard, both of you in crisis mode immediately. You stood from the swing and ran in the house, out the front door, “Joel?!” fearing that something happened to him, not making it past the front steps before he looked at you and yelled, 

“Med bag now!” he looked at you, kneeling by Bill who you could see was bleeding. 

“Fuck…” you nodded and ran back into the house, “Frank, it’s Bill!” you shouted from the stairs towards the back door. 

You ran up the stairs and grabbed your medical kit from the bedroom, rushing back downstairs. 

Maria already had run out with Mrs. Miller and half the party while you were upstairs, all surrounding Bill and the truck, murmuring. 

You ran out and pushed through the crowd, “Someone call 911.” you commanded tying up your hair, locked into the situation. 

You knelt by Bill and took his arm, “Here let me see…” You accessed his hand, seeing he might have nicked an artery or major blood vessel by how much blood was coming out, “Someone tell me what happened…” you asked calmly, looking through your bag for what you needed. 

“Damn bolt was too tight, hand slipped.” he bit out. 

You nodded, “Got it. Who’s calling 911?” you questioned the group. 

Maria piped up, “I am. I’m speaking to an operator, what are your findings?” she knelt across from you. 

You unzipped your bag, opened it up fully, and began putting gauze on his wrist as that was where most of the bleeding was coming from, “Tell them we have a deep laceration of palm that extends up the inner wrist. Explain that the blood loss suggests that it may have nicked the ulnar artery or a major blood vessel, we need an ambulance now.” you zoned in and looked around you for resources. “Tommy, I need your belt...” you said while trying to get the bleeding to stop but it kept coming.

“My what?” he questioned. 

“Belt. Tommy… now…” you instructed, there was no time for questions and you were in your element, not worried about niceties. 

He undid his belt and handed it to you. 

You looked at Maria, “Maria, ETA?” 

“7 minutes…” she said and then set the phone down on speaker and helped you by putting pressure while you used Tommy’s belt to tunicate Bill’s upper arm. “We need them here now… fuck.” you were getting frustrated by the lack of tools you had at your disposal. 

Bill winced and cursed under his breath when you pulled the belt tight, “Ok Bill, I need you to lay flat for me.” helped his head lay down on the pavement as he was slumped against the tire. 

You looked over the arm, thinking, eyes scanning over everything you had around, whispering to yourself, “Think think…” 

Joel put his hand on your back, “Baby, what do you need from me?” he asked softly. 

“Ummm…” you thought about what could work to pack, then got it, “Can you get me some dish towels and duct tape?” you looked at him, “We need to pack this and this gauze isn’t enough…”  

He nodded as he stood up and ran inside, grabbing both within a minute. 

You smiled softly and took them from him, “Thank you sweetheart.” you started to gather them up to best pack the wound, “Bill, I’m going to start packing this, it may hurt, just warning you.” 

He winced as you began packing the wound, trying to stop the bleeding as much as you could. However, he started to lose color and get a little confused with his surroundings. 

“Maria… we need an ETA…” she stood up and took the phone, turning away to speak to the operator. 

Bill’s eyes started to close, so you gently tapped Bill’s face, “Bill, you need to keep your eyes on me. Tell me what’s going on with your truck, talk to me.” you tapped his face again until he opened his eyes.  

The vibe of the area drastically changed after that and people started to worry. Mrs. Miller hugged Tommy, worried. Frank was in tears standing to the side, and Sarah hugged his side to comfort him. Joel knelt by you but gave you enough space to work. He was in complete awe and admired how amazing you were under pressure, this was your element and he was grateful in a way he got to see you work. 

Bill started to slur his speech as he began talking about his truck and his eyes started to close again, his breathing becoming more shallow, you looked at him and touched his cheek, “Shit..” you looked up at Maria for a moment then back down, “Maria, I need an ETA!” you said asked with slight panic in your voice as you started to wrap the tape around his arm to keep the wound packed tightly, “Bill… look at me… keep your eyes open.” you coaxed. 

Maria turned around, “2 minutes… they have sirens going and everything.” 

You tapped Bill's cheek, “Bill wake up…” he didn’t respond. 

“Fuck.” you felt his pulse point, barely anything, he’s bleeding out. You leaned down to listen for breath sounds, weak and uneven. “God damn it Bill…” you said as you listened. 

“Maria, tell them his pulse is weak and breath sounds are weak and uneven, I’m starting compression and mouth to mouth, they will need an immediate crash cart upon arrival…” you yelled to her and then angled his head to the correct angle for compressions and mouth-to-mouth then sat up on your knees and started compressions. She nodded and relayed the information to the operator, turning around to hear what they were saying better.

Frank started to sob and Sarah did too, you looked at Sarah as you started pumping Bill’s chest, “Sarah, go inside sweetheart, I need you to get me my pouch that has a red cross on it, it's up in the bedroom…” 

She nodded and ran into the house, you stopped after a set amount of compressions and did two breaths into Frank's mouth then started doing compressions again, “She doesn’t need to see this.” you said as you looked over at Joel with a sad look in your eye, doing what you could to shield and protect her, he nodded and put his hand on your back in support. 

You looked at Maria, and she nodded at you knowing you wanted an update, “They are pulling into the neighborhood, I’m going to flag them down.” she ran down the driveway, and you began to hear sirens in the distance. 

You did two more breaths and then started to continue compressions, “Hold on Bill, I got you… stay with me.” you gritted as you pumped his chest. 

You looked at Frank, “Frank look at me, he’s going to be ok. He’s just lost a lot of blood, ok?” you continued to pump and then did two more breaths then felt his pulse, it was getting stronger, you nodded and continue compressions, “There we go… there’s that pulse comin’ back.” you chuckled out of breath from compressions, “Come on…” you looked up and saw lights pulling into the street. 

Maria brought two paramedics to where you were, one a woman and one man, they had a transfer board and the crash equipment, you continued to do compressions as you explained what was going on, what happened, his stats, and how his pulse was getting stronger with compressions. 

“Ok, we need to load him up, can you help?” the woman asked setting the transfer board down on the ground next to Bill.  

You nodded and rolled Bill on his side so they could put the transfer board under him. You looked at the pair, “I’ll lift the board if one of you straddles him and continues compressions into the truck…” you suggested.

The woman nodded and straddled Bill and started compressions again, you went to the head of the board and grabbed the end, your cleavage showing as you had to bend down a little, “On three?” you asked the other paramedic. He was looking at your cleavage, you glared at him, “Oi, eyes are up here… on three we lift?” you bit out. 

Joel heard and saw him ogling you, and glared at the paramedic. 

He cleared his throat and nodded, turning red, “On three…” he said.

You both lifted on three, grunting and then walking to the gurney behind some of the cars, Frank following close behind. 

Elena came up and touched Joel’s arm as he stood and watched, “She’s got fire mijo…” she said smiling softly watching you with him from a distance. 

Joel nodded and blushed watching you, “She’s amazing mama…” he hugged his mom to his side. 

You helped load Bill in and stepped out of the bay, after telling Frank you guys would come visit in a few days. He thanked you and hugged you then hopped into the bay, sitting and holding Bill’s hand.

The male paramedic cleared his throat as he jumped out of the bay after you and looked at you, drinking you in, and he smirked at you, “Hey, uh you ever wanna g-…”

Joel cleared his throat, coming up behind you and wrapped his arm around you, pulling you close to him, “Everything good to go darlin’...?” he kissed your bare shoulder, keeping eye contact with the paramedic. 

You blushed at Joel’s motives and knew what he was doing, you stepped back into his hold, “I think so cowboy… Bill’s conscious now…” You looked at the paramedic, “You guys are good, right? Going to Austin General?” you cocked your head at him, smiling sweetly.

The paramedic swallowed and cleared his throat, “Yes ma’am. Thank you for all you did to help.” 

He looked at Joel and nodded at him, “Ya’ll have a good night…”

Joel smirked, “Oh, we will…” he leaned down and kissed your shoulder then inside of your neck softly. 

He nodded embarrassed and closed the bay door and then tapped it twice before going around to the driver’s seat and driving off with Bill and Frank to the hospital. 

You chuckled watching the truck drive away, “Did you just lose our bet or should I give you a freebie with those funny business kisses and touching?” you teased as you leaned against him smiling. 

He kissed you again on the neck and took a breath, inhaling your scent, humming, “I give in… I can’t handle not holding you the rest of the night.” he rubbed your stomach with his thumb. 

You smiled and slowly pulled away, biting your lip, looking at him lovingly, “Come on then, let’s go have a good rest of the night…” you kissed his cheek, “I’m gonna go freshen up, wanna get the firepit started?” 

He nodded “Yeah sure baby…” but then looked at you with so much love in his gaze and took your cheeks in his hands and leaned in and kissed you softly and slowly a couple of times, pulling away a little, “You were amazing… I love you so much.” then kissing you once more. 

You smiled against his lips then pulled away and hummed, “I love you too sweetheart…” you kept your hands behind your back as you didn’t want to get him dirty with how much blood was on them. 

You walked back up the driveway, eager to wash yourself up, internally starting to feel overstimulated by the familiar sensation of blood on your hands.

Maria and Tommy were talking to Elena and Sarah. You smiled at Elena kindly and nodded your head as she looked at you before grabbing your bag and heading inside. 

She watched you and saw you roll your shoulders and shake your hands out, starting to feel anxious. 

Joel came up to the group of people hanging in the front yard and smiled, “Ok, the good news is Bill will be ok, he’s headed to the hospital. Y/N is going to freshen up and then we’re gonna do a firepit and do smores and put some music on.” 

Everyone let a breath of relief out and nodded, heading back inside to the backyard. 

Elena came up and took Joel’s hand, “Mijo… go check on her… ella parecía ansiosa al entrar…” (She looked anxious heading inside)   

Joel looked at the front door and nodded, then looked at her, “Can you ask Tommy to get the firepit started?” 

She nodded and kissed his cheek, “Of course, mijo.”

You went upstairs and shut the bedroom door quickly, starting to feel slightly on edge. You shook your hands out again and clenched your jaw trying to blow it off. You took your dress off which had Bill’s blood on it and put it in the hamper, before going to the sink and turning on the water, washing the blood off your hands, feeling yourself start to feel anxious by the familiar image of what happened with Z, flashes started to cross your mind. You let out a breath and shook your head, “No… it’s ok. I’m ok.” then you dried off your hands. You walked to the closet and got some loose-fitting Wrangler jeans and a baggy but cute brown sweater. You put it over your head, pulling your hair out and looking at yourself in the mirror, mentally telling yourself you were going to be ok. 

You sat on the bed to put on some different shoes and stood to go back downstairs when you heard someone’s truck backfire that was leaving the house. However, to you, it sounded like gunfire and you were instantly transported back to Delta 30. Flashes of Z and his body clouded your mind and instantly felt like you were suffocating, your heart started to race and you started to breathe fast, tears blurring your vision, feeling the room close in around you, you shrunk to the floor and curled into the corner, “Fuck.. fuck…” you started to hyperventilate. 

You shut your eyes and whispered, “Breathe…” you put your hand on your chest and felt your heart racing, your hand was shaking against your chest. 

Joel knocked on the door gently, “Darlin’, can I come in?” no answer.

You didn’t even register anything around you, your ears were ringing, and your senses were all over the place. 

Joel knocked again, “Sweetheart?” no answer. 

He opened the door and peeked in and saw you in the corner, hyperventilating, curled in fear looking at the bed. He instantly bolted over to you, kneeling in front of you, taking off his hat to get close to you, “Baby?” he gently took your face in his hands, and had you look at him, your eyes looked terrified, “Baby I need you to breathe for me…” his eyebrows furrowed in concern as he looked over you, “Hey… look at me, breathe in through your nose…” he took a breath in through his nose for you to mimic. 

You weren’t registering anything, his voice was muffled and your ears rang, you shut your eyes and held your hand against your heart, “I…” you started to cry, unable to catch your breath, breathing fast and unevenly. 

After speaking to Tommy earlier, he researched how to help with panic attacks and other things you might experience so he would be ready to help. 

He racked his brain to choose something he read to help.  

Joel stroked your cheeks “Hey… I got you, sweetheart, here…” he took your hand, opened your palm, and started to draw a circle in it, repeatedly, watching your reaction, you looked at what he was doing and your breathing slowly started to slow down. “There we go… shhh… it’s ok.” he kept doing it, leaning forward to kiss your forehead, whispering against your skin, “I got you, my love.” 

You watched as he continued to draw circles, beginning to come back to him, tears falling and starting to ramble as you were watching his finger, “He… he was just there and then he wasn’t…” your lip trembled, “I should have protected him… I didn’t check what was behind me and got detained… he… he got shot while I was captured because I didn’t do the one fucking thing I was trained to do in combat… check my surroundings…” you sobbed, “... he was a child… a baby… and he… he’s dead because of me…” you closed your palm and pulled it to your chest, reclusing back to the corner. 

Joel looked at you and shook his head frantically then touched your cheek, “No… no my love… hey… come here…” he moved quickly and sat by you and pulled you onto his lap, to lay between his legs, holding you close, putting your head on his chest so you could hear his heart to calm you down, kissing your head and he held you tight, “Darlin’, it was not your fault...” he rubbed your arms and back slowly and softly, “What happened back there, I will never understand what you truly went through, but I do know one thing, and that is, none of it was your fault.” he kissed your head, “None of it.”

You closed your eyes and tried to concentrate on his heartbeat, “I… I feel like he died because I wasn’t careful enough.” you admitted quietly through tears. 

Joel kissed your temple softly, and whispered, “Baby he died because evil men shot and killed a defenseless kid in the back of a car.” he sighed sadly, “His death is on them, not you.” 

You kept your eyes closed and focused on your breathing, taking in Joel’s words, focusing on what was around you, smells, sounds, textures. 

Joel gently would squeeze your arms and rub your back, trying to release tension, whispering soft promises of protection and safety to you. 

You calmed your breathing and nodded before sitting up slowly and wiping your tears, sniffing, “I’m ok…” you sighed softly. 

Joel took your hand softly and kissed it, finding your eyes, “We can send everyone home… do you need tonight to be done? I’ll go out and kick everyone out…” he said with every fiber of him. He’d burn the world for you. 

You chuckled and shook your head, wiping your tears before touching his cheek softly, “No… I need to be around our people tonight. I just need to be with you and I’ll be ok.” you smiled softly at him. 

He nodded, “I’m here, I won’t leave ya sweetheart.” he smiled and leaned in and kissed your forehead before pulling you in his arms once more. 

You hugged him and it was like everything dissolved, he brought such peace to you that you never thought you’d have, it was hard to describe but you knew with him, you were safe. 

He held you and then you pulled away after a couple of minutes and slowly stood up, grabbing his hat from the floor, and held out your hand for him to take, softly smiling at him. 

He took it and stood, standing inches from you, you leaned up and kissed him softly, while putting his hat back on his head, then pulled away, “You’re wearin’ this more often, yeah?” 

He chuckled, “Anythin’ you wish is my command, mi vida…” he cupped your cheek and kissed you slower this time, holding onto your lips, savoring this moment he had with you. 

You blushed and smiled after he pulled away, keeping your eyes closed, “Kiss me more like that too, yeah?” 

He smiled and nodded, rubbing his nose against yours, chuckling softly, “I can arrange that…” he leaned back in and kissed you again, this time holding onto your waist and the back of your head and neck, supporting your neck as he kissed you. 

You pulled away slowly after a few kisses, “If we don’t stop, we won’t make it back downstairs…” You looked up at him and slowly backed away, holding onto his hand as you walked backward. 

He bit his lip and smiled, “Maybe that’s what I want…” he let you drag him towards the door as you softly giggled. You opened up the door and let go of his hand and began walking down the hall, towards the stairs, hearing some music playing outside and people laughing and talking amongst themselves. 

Joel stood in the doorway and watched you for a moment, soaking you in. This was the happiest he’d ever been, aside from when Sarah was born. However this changed everything including his fears and anxieties, he didn’t want you to be consumed by what happened in the past. Whether that was your past back in Afghanistan or with Charlie, he promised to do whatever he could to protect and make you happy, keep those tears and fears away from you as best he could. 

You went down a few stairs then looked back and saw him in the doorway, you smiled and held out your hand, “Come on, they are dancin’ out there and I wanna see those moves you told me you had.” you giggled. 

He smiled warmly and pushed off the door and joined you, taking your hand, and walking with you out to the back.

9:48 pm 

People had slowly started to head home, even Elena who had a longer drive than most. Joel offered her the guest room but she insisted on going back home. You asked her to call either Joel or Tommy and let them know when she got home safely which she did about an hour after she left. 

Frank called and let you all know that they started some blood transfusions for Bill and he was going to be fine, they repaired his hand and found the cause of the bleeding. He said that he was going to be monitored for the next few days but everything was going to be ok. 

Sarah went home with one of her friends who begged Joel to let her sleepover as they wanted to watch a movie that had just come out for rent at the movie store. Joel told Sarah to call him before she went to sleep but let her go happily as that meant he’d have the house with you tonight. 

Tommy and Maria, a few other tipsy neighbors, and you both were left in the backyard. You were sitting by the fire laughing and talking to a neighbor of Joel’s and Maria. Joel and Tommy were insistent that you and Maria remained seated while they cleaned up a little and straightened up. 

There was music softly playing over the speakers and for the most part, people just talked while it played, the dancing had dimmed down after the masses headed home. Joel and Tommy showed off their moves and invited you and Maria to join them as they’d teach you how to do it. However, it was just an excuse for them to have you both close to them and sneak kisses from you in between each step. You and Maria caught on though and had a rough idea of how to dance. 

You had a glass of wine in your hand and were wrapped in a blanket, chuckling at a story Maria was telling when you heard a song come over the speaker, ‘Thinking Out Loud’ by Ed Sheeran. You smiled seeing Joel walk over to you with a warm smile on his face and stop in front of you with one hand behind his back and one hand outstretched towards you, “May I have this dance with you darlin’...” 

You nodded, “Of course my love…” you put your glass down and gently slid your hand into his as you stood up. 

He brought your hand to his lips and kissed it then slowly walked you to the middle of the yard and held yours and his hand at his chest while pulling you in by your waist and slowly started swaying side to side with you as the song played. 

Some lights lined the backyard above you giving you, giving it a light and romantic atmosphere. Along with the fire pit burning, it was perfect. 

Joel hummed along to the first part of the song, holding you close, keeping eye contact with you before he started softly singing along, 

“And darling I will be loving you 'til we're 70

And baby my heart could still fall as hard at 23

And I'm thinking 'bout how people fall in love in mysterious ways

Maybe just the touch of a hand

Oh me I fall in love with you every single day

And I just wanna tell you I am

So honey now

Take me into your loving arms

Kiss me under the light of a thousand stars

Place your head on my beating heart

I'm thinking out loud

Maybe we found love right where we are…”

You smiled up at him and put your free hand on his cheek as he sang along, gently stroking and tracing your fingers against his cheek, swaying along with him, holding his hand against his chest. 

Joel kept singing to you, gently rubbing his thumb along your waist and the back of your hand as he swayed with you, completely in the moment with you, not caring about anyone or anything else around, just you. He’d occasionally bring your hand to his lips and kiss it or your forehead.

Maria grabbed your phone that was sitting by your seat and took a few photos of the two of you, knowing how you always mentioned that was important to you, to photograph special moments with your loved ones, but that no one did it for you when you were in the moment. 

Towards the end of the song Joel took a step back and spun you around softly then pulled you into him to have your back against him and to hold you tight, arms around your waist as he swayed and leaned his head down and whispered into your ear, “I love you so much darlin’, thank you for all you do to make me happy.” he kissed your shoulder, inner neck and then cheek before setting his head by yours and closing his eyes as the two of you swayed like that to the rest of the song. 

Once it was over, Tommy whistled loudly, “Alright, I think that’s a good way to end a wonderful evening! If everyone will please gather your things, please take any leftovers you brought or would like and thank our hosts - it’s time to head home!” 

You chuckled and stayed against Joel, “Sounds like Tommy wants to go to bed…” 

Joel chuckled and kissed your cheek before pushing against your hip gently to spin you back around and pull you against him slowly and softly, continuing to sway with you while another slow song played in the background softly. He cupped your cheek and smiled looking down at you, “Did you have a good time today?” he caressed your cheek softly. 

You smiled, “I did, I’d love to do this like once a month or something with our friends and family… host a dinner or barbeque… it’s the most fun I’ve had in a long time with a big group of people.” you looked up at him while you both swayed, ignoring the mass of people packing up to leave. 

“We can do that. How about every 2nd Saturday, we will do that, invite anyone we want to and it can either be something entirely made by us or like a potluck thing.” he said softly, “Anything you want to do, I’ll make it happen.” he leaned down and kissed your lips softly, pulling back slowly. 

You blushed thinking of something would love to do with him but you didn’t want to mention it as you criticized yourself for even thinking of it so early into your relationship with him. However, it’s how you felt, you wanted a life with him in every sense and meaning of it. You wanted to marry him, you knew that he was it, you had found your soulmate and partner in life, your best friend. You both had already admitted you wanted to have kids together and add to your family, it was just a matter of time before you got married, right? That was something Joel would want too, or so you thought. From what you know, Rachelle and he didn’t marry. They got pregnant with Sarah and then she left, he never mentioned marriage or divorce, just that she left. Was marriage something he wanted with you, or let alone anyone? You started to feel yourself overthink and some anxiety bubbled up and were just about to say something to Joel when Mrs. Rose came and touched your arm, snapping you out of the rabbit hole your mind just went down. 

“Thank you so much for the invite, I had a lovely time!” she smiled at the both of you and pulled you into a gentle hug and then grabbed Joel by the face and hugged him as well. He was hesitant but gave in and wrapped his arms around her softly, giving her a nice gentle hug. 

“Thank you for comin’ Rose. You’re a permanent invite on our guest list for future events, and always will.” you said smiling at her hugging Joel. 

She pulled back and smiled at you both, “Joel, could I trouble you for your help? I brought some casseroles but it’s dark and I w-” 

He cut her off, “I’d be happy to help Rose, don’t need to explain… just ask.” he smiled kindly. 

You saw something switch in Joel, especially in how he just interacted with Rose. Maybe Frank was right, maybe Joel wasn’t so grumpy towards those he usually is grumpy to? 

You gently touched her arm, “I’ll see you around, I’m going to go inside and make sure nothing gets left behind by others.” you smiled at Joel and went back inside to the kitchen. 

Mostly everything got taken by its rightful owner, all but two empty pie crystal dishes which you knew were Frank and Bills. 

You looked at the sink filled with dishes and rolled up your sleeves, thinking that you didn’t want to do anything tomorrow but rot and enjoy a nice easy day around the house with Joel. 

You filled one side of the sink with warm soapy water and the other with dirty dishes, you tied up your hair in a ponytail and put your phone on the counter which was playing some Fleetwood Mac on a lower volume. 

People greeted you and thanked you as they left, and after about 5 minutes, the house was empty.

You continued to wash dishes and either put them in the dishwasher for a deeper clean or put them on a drying rack near the sink to dry off during the night and put them away tomorrow. 

Maria and Tommy cleaned up the kitchen and living room by sweeping and wiping down the surfaces before telling you goodnight and heading to the guest room together. 

About a half hour later you heard Joel come through the front door and softly call for you, “Baby?” he took off his boots by the door. 

“Kitchen, sweetheart…” you said as you smiled washing down a pot that you used for mac and cheese earlier. 

Joel came in and smiled, coming up and touching your waist, kissing your cheek, “Where did Tommy and Maria go?” he grabbed a dish rag in the drawer by you and stood next to you starting to hand dry the dishes that were on the rack, doing his best to help or stay busy next to you. 

“They went to bed, they helped wipe down and tidy the kitchen before though, I just have been working on this mountain of dishes for a little bit.” you smiled and put the pot in the dishwasher, deciding it needed a deeper clean. “Did you get trapped by Rose?” 

Joel smiled and nodded, “Yeah, she needed help lifting something back onto a shelf in her garage and then chatted my ear off while I slowly backed up down her driveway towards the sidewalk.” he chuckled and started to stack plates that he would dry off to put away. 

You chuckled and dumped a bowl full of silverware into the water to soak, “She’s a hoot. I like her…” 

Joel nodded, “Me too, I just need to be better about tellin’ the woman I need to go.” he looked over at you, “I think gets lonely sometimes and I feel bad, you know?” 

You nodded and looked back at him, “Was there ever a Mr. Rose?” then you looked down and started scrubbing the silverware with a sponge. 

“Yeah, he passed about 5 years ago, Julio was his name. He was a nice guy, but he passed all of a sudden, I think he had a stroke or somethin’... Rose said he had a clot that traveled up to his brain.” he said sadly. 

You nodded, “Aneurysm it sounds like…” you said softly and sighed, “... that’s rough.” 

Joel nodded and continued to dry things off, “Can… what can cause that?” he sounded slightly concerned. 

“A lot of things, but mostly smoking, trauma, and genetic markers. Trauma is the most common though, the person hits their head or gets their chest crushed, it can lead to it.” you tsked, “It's a peaceful way to go though… you don’t feel a thing, you just… stop.” 

Joel looked over at you and nodded, “He was a smoker… I guess that makes sense.” he looked at the dishes he was drying, “And he didn’t suffer… that’s comforting to know.” 

You nodded, “If he did pass of an aneurysm, he would have just stopped breathing, but it wouldn’t have hurt him, he would have never known.” 

Joel nudged you softly, “Ok so we agree neither of us is dying that way, right?” 

You looked at him and chuckled, nodding, “Deal.” You started to load up the rest of the silverware in the dishwasher and then you bent down and grabbed a tablet from under the sink and put it in, starting the dishwasher’s cycle. You then unplugged the water rinsed down the sink then started to put away dishes. 

Joel smiled, “If I tell you to go upstairs and rest, you won’t will you?” 

You shook your head and chuckled taking a pile of plates in your arms, “Nope, we finish this together and go up together.” you walked behind him to the cabinet the plates go in. 

“Stubborn little thing you are…” he smirked at you. 

You looked at him and smiled, “Yep!” you giggled and continued to put plates away, humming along to the song that was playing on your phone. 

Joel shook his head and smiled, loving how easily you could make him happy. He put the remaining dishes away and then wiped down the counter with the rag before tossing it into the laundry room, coming back to the kitchen as you were wiping down the other counters with a dish rag, smiling softly. 

You turned around and smiled at him, he came over and put his hands on your waist, leaning in and kissing you softly, “Ready for bed?” pulling away gently and slowly taking your hand to pull you upstairs. 

You took his cowboy hat off his head and put it on yours, smiling, untying your hair to let it flow down your shoulders and back, “When do we get to go dancin’ cowboy?” 

He smirked and looked down at you, you looked adorable in his hat, but also something deeper erupted in him and he had to feed it, “I’ll take ya next weekend my love…” he kissed your lips slowly, cupping your cheek towards him, slowly pulling away after a few kisses, softly and lowly saying against your lips, “Darlin’ do you know about the ‘cowboy hat’ rule that you just broke?” he gently kissed you again, this time deeper, pushing you against the counter. 

You giggled against his lips, “Is this a legit rule or one you made up cowboy?” 

He grinned and pulled back slowly from your lips, grabbing your waist and lifting you to sit on the counter above him, slotting himself between your legs, looking up at you, nipping the tip of your nose gently, “It’s a real rule…” he had eyes full of lust, all the pent up tension you both had from teasing each other today, was coming to a head. 

You loosely wrapped your arms around his shoulders and teased your fingers into his hair, “I see… and what does this rule entail then handsome?” you leaned in and kissed his lips slowly, pulling his hair gently as you held onto his lips, smirking as you kissed him. 

He hummed and breathlessly pulled away from your lips, “Mmm first, you won our bet, where am I takin’ you?” he gently kissed your lips then moved his head down to your neck and began littering you with kisses and love bites there. 

You softly moaned, “Can I cash in my location for somewhere a little more… public another day?” you grinned knowing that would excite him. 

He groaned against your skin, and nodded, not being able to form a response for that request, he looked up at you and licked his lip, “Bedroom then?” he seemed desperate to get you somewhere, alone and quickly. 

You nodded and pushed his chest for him back up a little before you slid off the counter and then gently grabbed his shirt collar, pulling him close to you, leaning up to capture his lips, kissing him deeply a couple of times, before pulling back and grabbing his shirt and pulling it off him, throwing it to the floor then pulling yours off, revealing a black lace bra that left little to the imagination. 

Joel’s jaw dropped and he smirked. Between the wrangler jeans you had on, your bra, and the hat on your head, you were the image of a cowboy’s wet dream, “Fuck you’ve been hidin’ this from me all day?” he stepped forward and went to grab you when you stuck your hand out to stop him, biting your lip. 

“What’s the cowboy hat rule?” you held him where he was. 

He grinned, “If you steal a cowboy’s hat, you have to ride the cowboy darlin’...” he looked at your body up and down from where he was. 

You cleared your throat, “Eyes are up here…” you giggled. 

His eyes snapped up and met yours and then he gently took your hand and pulled it to his lips, “I apologize darlin’, I just can’t help myself…” he said making his southern drawl more intense as he looked at you with those big brown eyes and started to try and move towards you again. 

You bit your lip and stepped back, holding him where he was, “Mmm, hold it right there, I want you to do something for me baby…” you looked at him up and down, drinking him in. He was standing there in his jeans and belt that was very ‘cowboy’ of him and shirtless and you were soaking your panties while you were standing there, admiring and thinking of everything you wanted to do to his body. 

He nodded and was breathing quicker, more excited, there was an obvious bulge in his pants, “Anythin’ baby…”  

You looked over at the stove clock, “I’m going to go upstairs, and I’m going to touch myself…” the clock read 11:19 pm, you looked back at him and said slower, breathlessly, “If you can stand here… and wait til that clock hits 11:30 pm before coming upstairs to join me, we can film this… ‘cowboy rule’...” you grabbed his phone from the counter and grinned at him. 

He grinned sinfully, and groaned hearing this request, “And if I can’t wait my love?” he kissed your inner wrist, eyes on you. 

“You won’t need to worry about that baby, because you’re going to be good, and wait, aren’t ya?” you smirked and pulled our hand away, backing up towards the stairs then you stopped a few feet away and turned around and undid your jeans. 

You looked behind your shoulder biting your lip as you slowly slid them down your ass which revealed a black silk thong. You stepped out of your jeans, turned around to face him, and tilted the cowboy hat towards him, revealing the sinful black set you were wearing, “Remember cowboy, 11:30…” You winked and ran up the stairs. 

Joel was speechless and dropped to his knees, worshipping the ground you walk on with his cock straining painfully against his jeans.

You ran up and closed the door so it was just cracked open, you opted to keep everything you were wearing on as you knew Joel would enjoy taking it off when he’d inevitably make it upstairs. 

You took his phone and turned the camera on, pushing the record button, and then laid it down facing the bed on the dresser which sat at the foot of the bed, making it the perfect angle to capture you both at any position you may be folded into. You bit your lip and smirked as you backed up and looked at the bed.

You knelt in the middle of the bed, facing the door, which was also towards the camera so while you waited for him, you used the camera to your advantage knowing he’d see this too once it was saved to his phone. 

You slid your hand down your panties, finding your clit, and started to rub circles onto it lightly, moaning softly, smiling as you put your other hand behind your back, feeling how sensitive you are by just your touch, you felt excited to be fucked senseless by Joel. 

Downstairs, Joel knelt and held onto the counter like it was a lifeline, whispering, “11:30…” to himself as he looked back and forth from the stairs to the stove clock. 

He heard you moan his name at 11:26 pm and just about ran up, not caring about the recording, no matter how fucking hot it was you wanted to do that. 

He stood up and whispered “Fuck it…” and only made it a few steps before he bit his thumbnail frustrated and shook his head backing down, circling right back to where he was and kneeling back down again to avoid temptation. 

He watched the clock on the wall above the table which allowed him to see the seconds tick down. He tapped his thumb against the counter and watched as the minute hand got closer and closer to the 6. His breathing was slow and controlled but his heart was pounding excitedly. His feet were ready to run as soon as he gave himself permission to. 

He heard you moan again but louder at 11:29 and 15 seconds. He grinned and muttered to himself, “Less than a minute Joel, hold on…” he watched painfully as that clock ticked closer and closer to 11:30 and once it hit he didn’t waste a second. 

He slapped the lights off and ran up the stairs, 2 at a time, and at one time towards the top, using his hands to help him crawl up faster. The minute he got into the bedroom he closed and locked the door, and saw you on your knees, fingers teasing your clit as you had just come down from an orgasm. 

You sat up on your knees, pulling your fingers from your core, and licked your fingers as you made eye contact with him, humming in delight. You ran your hands down your body to the strings of your thong hugging your hips and started to tug on them, “Come ‘ere cowboy, I believe I need to saddle up…” you said lowly, then bit your lip as you rocked your hips back and forth as you had your legs spread like you were already straddling something. 

Joel swallowed and racked his brain, did he want to take this quick and erratic, or be slow and sensual, taking every ounce of pleasure from you? His cock was saying the first, but his heart and head said the other. 

He smirked and nodded then came to the bed and kneeled in front of you, gently took your face in his hands, cupping your cheeks, and leaned down to kiss you slowly, deeply, and with every ounce and atom of love he could put into a kiss. 

He pulled away slowly and said against your lips, “We’re gonna take this slow, I want to still be pulling pleasure from your sweet lips when that sun comes up…” he leaned back in and continued to kiss you, sliding his tongue between your lips after a few. 

You moaned softly and moved your hands down from his chest to his belt and began to unbuckle it and then his pants. 

He moved his hands down to his pants and tugged them down, along with his boxers, letting his cock spring free. The tip was red and angry with lust, dripping sweet precum from it. 

You put the hat back on his head after seeing his cock spring free and pulled from his lips slowly before moving your knees back and leaning down to lick up his shaft. You ass up in the air and lean on your elbows as you began to suck on his tip in front of him. 

He grunted when your lips sealed around his tip and began taking him down your throat, “Fuck… your mouth feels so good ‘round this cock…” he gathered your hair up in his hands and held your hair back for you as you continued to suck him off, getting further and further down our throat. He looked down and groaned, smirking, your eyes already looking up at him, “Fuck you look so hot like this… cock in your mouth, ass in the air…” he clenched his teeth and reached forward, to grab your ass, and shake it in his grasp. 

He began to rock his hips gently down your throat and move his fingers down your thong seam, feeling how wet you were, “Fuck baby, you’re such a good girl, cummin' on your fingers to get ready to take me…” he slapped your ass softly, earning a moan from you which caused him to whine as the vibrations around his cock almost became too much. 

He sat up and let go of your hair, which for you meant to take yourself off his cock, “Mmm fuck, my turn…” Joel grinned down at you and softly pinched your chin between his thumb and forefinger, bringing you back up to him, he leaned in and kissed your lips deeply then sucked on your bottom lip and pulled away, making you moan and grin. 

“Lay on your back…” he said lowly, panting softly. 

You scooted backward a little and then lay on your back, head on the pillows. Looking up at him, you breathed slowly and controlled. 

He slowly ran his hands down your thighs and touched the fabric sitting on your hips, hooking his fingers under it, “Hips up beautiful…” he requested. 

You lifted your hips and he pulled your thong off, smirking as he leaned over and opened his nightstand drawer, putting them inside and shutting it, “Those are mind now…” he leaned back up and gently spread your legs before backing his knees up and laying down on his stomach, nestling his head between your thighs, kissing them softly. 

He hummed and smiled as he continued to kiss them, “I only have one request…” he said into your skin. 

You looked down at him and your breathing sped up with him now between your legs, ready to devour your core. 

“You are not to hold back any of those sweet sounds that come from that beautiful mouth of yours…” he looked up at you with those big brown eyes, “Tommy and Maria were so drunk on wine and whiskey they are out cold, they won’t hear a thing, you understand?” he kissed your thigh, inches away from your soaking core. 

You gasped and nodded, “No holding back…” 

He bit his lip gently and then hummed looking at the sight in front of him, “That’s a good girl…” slowly leaning in and starting to lap up what you already had to give him before taking more.

Previous chapter - Next Chapter

A/N : hehehehehehe ya’ll thirsty for more… nasty bitches 🤠 this will be continuing in chpt 9 so get readyyyy 🙂‍↕️🫦

taglist:  @sarahhxx03, @blahkateisdone, @sunnytuliptime, @pedroscurls, @docharleythegeekqueen

[kivino]

MEANT FOR EACH OTHER || ZOMBIE AU || KÖNIG X READER || PART I

sum. A deep-seated paranoia takes hold of you. Every hour of the day, you feel like you’re being watched. Followed. And you’re not wrong. So observant, so beautiful and perfect, but always dismissed by your group, left behind, not paid even a sliver of attention. How tragic. It’s okay though. König is here to do right by you. F̶̖̓͆̕͝o̷̢͚̲̬̍͠r̶͖̝̾̊̍̾e̸͔͇̣̓̈̊̾v̶̛͚͕́͗͝e̷̤̻͔͎̅̑̽r̴̝̬̩̘͒̒̃ ̴͔͆͋̈͝ȃ̷̢̭̯n̶̡̜̫͚̉̌̊̒ḍ̷̩̲̹͝ ̷̖̔͌͘ả̶̡̬̥͊l̶͕̇̓̄w̴̺̥̋̂͠ä̷̢̢̝́̒͗y̴̳̦̙̕ŝ̶͕̋̀.̵̝̱͒̌̅̆

tags. zombie au (twdg inspired), stalking, obsessive behavior, themes of paranoia, fear, distrust, isolation  

w.c. 2.7k

a.n. i had a post about this fic quite some time ago, but only got to finishing this fic right about now. it’s my bad, folks! still, i hope you enjoy it nonetheless! let me know your thoughts and like and reblog, please!

jjk masterlist || cod masterlist || ao3 link to this fic || ko-fi

You were not okay. Unstable. Dangerous to the group. That’s what you kept hearing every time you would try to speak up about your worries. “Help your fellow man” your ass. Delusional assholes, all of them, you thought, after having to endure this torture that appeared endless. Constant paranoia eating away at you, piece by piece, making you look over your shoulder more than look straight ahead, forcing your sleep to become so light you’d wake up from the slightest shifts of your companions dosing off in the tents beside yours. Or from the wind rattling the rusted metal sheets on the roof of the abandoned storage house you camped out in. You felt exhausted which was no less shitty than being unheard. Or, rather, straight up ignored.  

It’s been weeks…months of it? You weren’t quite sure anymore. You had trouble tracking the days at this point in time, any disruption turning you into a likeness of a jittery rabbit – head on a swivel, ready to dart at the merest visible sign of this…unknown and incomprehensible danger. So naturally, days blended into nights, and nights would smother themselves in-between the days, and there was no end to it. At times, anything felt as a sign of some foreign, unfamiliar and very unwelcome presence. The whole world ending, shriveling away into a primitive, disconnected and scattered realm of endless violence was bad enough, but then there was something else…You weren’t quite sure what started out this deep terror within you. But you just knew, after bumping into someone’s empty, but clearly frequently used hideout in a dingy, and frankly, nasty motel, nothing has been the same.

Stretches of makeshift barbed wire across all the fences and, in places, even the ground, where the passage wasn’t interrupted by wrecked cars forming a barricade in front of the dark building with the windows boarded up shut. As you approached the place, you swore you could hear a low purr of a generator and smell the fuel, heavy in the air, and thick on your tongue. However, the place, though well protected, seemed to be deserted. Not a sign of a human presence from a quick glance. A lawn chair on the second floor of the motel, right behind a study looking railing with the paint rubbed off in the center, however, threw you off a little bit, as well as the doors, either locked, or boarded up shut from the inside. No bodies, no signs of fight or struggle, very little blood, while the place itself was locked up so tight you’d think a herd of was mere hours away from reaching it. Who’d put so much effort into making this motel a fortress, only to then abandon it, since there were no bodies that would suggest an attack from the walkers, or a raid from a fellow man.

Things clearly didn’t line up and you didn’t like that. Your group, however, didn’t bother with technicalities and nuance. Safe place was a safe place, end of story. Having nothing to offer in terms of resources – apart from a couple of already ransacked vending machines, the motel was quickly moved on from after the group spent the night. Since no one managed to get a single door, but the one leading to the laundry room of the dreary place open, the decision was made to sleep in the tents within the barricaded parking lot. “You’re welcome to freeze your ass off outside the fence, if you’d like, love, I couldn’t give two shits” – grumbled Rory, a woman in her thirties, who was clearly not having your cautious behavior. You were more than sure that she probably had to sleep in places much colder and dangerous than this dirty godforsaken motel, so you let it go. That night was the last night of undisturbed and calm sleep you’ve had before the unrest took hold.

You haven’t told anyone (as if that would change anything, your mind adds with palpable bitterness), but you swore there was something at that motel. Always conveniently just out of the corner of your eye, avoiding you so well you were ready to scream in frustration at the lack of substantial evidence for your suspicions. A giant, hulking shadow, faster than your reaction speed. A suspicious, bright glint from stuffy darkness of a boarded-up window. A loose stretch of a chain-link fence with dull grass crushed underneath. But then, why would it be? Unless it pinned the lifeless blades of greenery to the ground while sliding out (or in) below the fence.  

Of course, without outright noticeable evidence it was just that. It. But you were just scared to admit that this shapeless, inexplicable “It" you kept in your thoughts day and night, waking up and going to bed with an insistent tremble in your chest and shaky hands, was someone. That this “It” would suddenly develop a form, a conscience. Then, a goal. You didn’t like that. Not in the slightest. Frankly, who would like the phantoms that reside in their mind to suddenly become real? Nobody. And definitely not fucking you.

Regardless of your limitless turmoil and anxiety, non-stop coiling within your gut, you had to wake up. Stirring awake in your stuffy, hot tent, you don’t waste any time finding a zipper on the cheap rainproof fabric and dragging it down, to let some (relatively) fresh air inside, letting your lungs enjoy it while it lasts. Your group of seven has already been obviously busy; you can hear some chatter and clacking of pots over the fire in the middle of the camp. Didn’t even wake you up? Odd. You’ll take it though. An extra hour of sleep is better than none.

You shuffle towards the opening in your tent, your hand snaking towards the half-empty backpack, laying on its side right in your reach. Empty-minded, you let your fingers pick at a bunch of zippers and clasps, while rubbing your eyes off the scarce leftover sleep. Your hand, much like a lithe spider finally gets inside the backpack to pull a sweatshirt out, until you hear a clear, almost deafening crunch of plastic in the morning quiet.

You can feel the blood in your veins turn to ice.

The hand snakes deeper inside, trying to get a feel of this plastic package that was definitely not there last night, before you went to sleep. Finally, you fish out multiple packs of ramen from your belongings and you sit there for a moment, in silence that only you can comprehend.

None of your group store their food in their personal backpacks. You included. Nobody went on any supply runs this week. And you definitely don’t remember ever having problems with sleepwalking. Your head finds its way into your hands. There “It” is again. You’re on the verge of hysteria. And even if your try to say something, it’s going to be the same song, all over again.

“You’re overthinking simple things.”

“Maybe you put it there before, but just…forgot about it?”

“What does it matter anyway? You’ve got more food to last you, would you stop being hung up over nothing?”

Same things, same voices, same thoughts. You were sick of it. Utterly and completely.

Finally!

You found it!  König could feel a smile tug at the corners of his mouth as you took out the gift he so carefully placed in the bag during the night. Sneaking around the other tents, careful with every step, suffocated with anticipation and worry. Now he had the perfect view of you from the shattered roof window of the storage house, which couldn’t have made the moment any better. Setting up this vantage point was his best decision yet…Apart from deciding to trail behind you, tagging along until your useless group members make the slightest mistake that will cost them their life. And then, König will be able to swoop in, finally help you openly, get you to join him (because why wouldn’t you? Your refusal was not even a possibility in his mind). The mere thought sent shivers of excitement down his body, sweet and languid. He couldn’t deny himself the pleasure of peeking out from behind the window once again, tilting his head ever so slightly, so his dark hood is not too visible over the vivid backdrop of the winter sky – off-grey and dull, much like a dirty slush that was this year’s snow, resting in a thick, melting blanket over the dark earth.

His eyes are zeroed in on you, squinting through the bright light penetrating even the dull clouds hanging over the earth and he could just feel the familiar, loving tremble in his chest when he sees you taking out his little surprise from your bag. It would seem that you’re lost for words – clutching your poor little head in your hands, mulling over who it might be from. Or maybe you’re already drowning in despair, deep in the realization that no one from your group can protect you properly, if someone was able to sneak into the camp in the middle of the night. Yes! Yes… König couldn’t have asked for a better reaction.

This…utter distress you were displaying, fanned the flames within him like no other person ever managed to, even before the world has ended. Frankly, anything you did would set off this insistent, lasting spark deep within his chest, burning König up from inside out, until it felt like he was smoldering if his eyes couldn’t catch a glimpse of you for too long. His insides would churn with an unknown, heavy feeling, it almost felt like he was drowning in a bog, being dragged down in the depths of his mind with little to no resistance. Only catching a glimpse of you helped to stop that feeling. So, keeping away just wasn’t an option. Never was. Never will be. And how could it ever be, if even in his restless dreams he searched for you, while every waking thought revolved around you. How determined he was to see his plan through, how desperate for the closer presence of your light in his life, finally being able to bask in it without your disgusting group getting in the way.

König never thought the accidental encounter at the motel he’s been holed up in would end up in him packing up everything he had to follow your useless group. You. You were the first living soul he’s seen up close since the world started falling apart so rapidly. It awakened something he completely forgot about in the months he hasn’t seen any people. The newfound hope.

Your carefree smile near the bonfire first confused him. How can you be happy and laugh the way you did when nothing around you was in its original state – shattered, broken, locked, rotten, spoiled or otherwise; when he the danger was around the corner, lurking just out of reach, ready to pounce and consume the measly, weak remains of humanity any time. Nothing to smile about for him. Despite his initial, less than generous assumption about your mental abilities and level of intelligence, you proved more cautious and careful than any people from your group. Stupid jackasses, satisfied with the surface-level search. How pathetic.

It would be such a pleasure to finally get rid of them. Give them all that they deserved. Every blow, every bite and every scratch. But not from him, sadly. He has to be even more careful, so you don’t have any basis to even assume König had anything to do with their deaths. He’ll…nudge them in the direction of death, but he will not be the deliverer of justice. As much as he wished he could.

Not you, though. Oh, never you. That day, as König peeked from the darkness of the motel room around him, through tiny slits in the dusty curtains that obscured everything behind the wooden boards he hammered in himself, you seemed like you started figuring something out, looking over the spots of the motel he most often frequented. Almost like you could feel or see his presence there, only hours ago.

Carefully, but nonchalantly walking around vending machines, the good spot overlooking the front gate and the parking lot with König’s chair on the second-floor balcony, his sleeping spot on warm nights, in a bed of a pickup truck, and finally, attempting to open the room where the man would sort through the supplies he had. When he was completely shrouded in darkness of said supply room, it felt like you could see right through it, like you caught sight of him through the dirty glass window. Your narrowed eyes, suspicion-ridden expression, laced with fear at the same time that he glimpsed at before tearing himself away from the handmade peephole in a manner too reluctant and terrified for him.

There and then, leaned on a wall with his breath short and face burning up under the hood that obscured his face, König realized. You shared a connection, deeper than any. You must be. How easily you picked apart each of the places that belonged to him, like you felt with your whole being the dark, smudged stains of his presence left behind, how observant you were, it couldn’t have been a simple lucky guess, he was sure of it. You were meant for each other. Yes, yes, that’s it! The world fell apart, but it was always supposed to happen, you would find each other no matter what. The thought, for the first time in many, so many months filled to the brim with blood, gore, loneliness and hunger filled him with comfort.

That was what drew him in, there was nothing easy or outright understandable about you to König. He didn’t mind, though. You were meant for each other, that was all that mattered. He would bathe the world in blood if it meant you’ll be there to find way into his arms. He’ll protect you, just like the comfort from the smallest glimpse of your charming self protected him from the darkness that caged him in for so long. Only König can protect you. You just didn’t know it yet.

Of course, he realizes that his attempts might be too…forward for you, but it was for the best. He was doing it for you only, for your wellbeing, and no one else’s. Of course, he could be much more discreet, yet instead König chose to be meticulous with how he approached leaving behind signs of his presence. It was charming and so, so endearing, how quickly you picked up on the smallest traces left by him, how your brows would knit together in careful consideration, piecing together every clue given to you by König’s generous hand. Like a conversation between only the two of you. König had to let you know that your savior, your protector is coming. He wasn’t worried about you pointing out things left by him to your group; figures that they would choose to ignore it – it wasn’t meant for them.

König cherished every expression, every tiny reaction you gave to the smallest traces of his presence, keeping them hidden, locked away in his mind, recalling every and each one while lulling himself to a sleep that was sure to bring more dreams of you. The man savored them like there was nothing better than seeing your eyes widen in horror, hand clasping over your mouth to contain a loud scream of terror, as you stumble across a large, neatly stacked pile of festering, unmoving walkers that just a day ago creeped upon the camp, with no one from your group noticing, as expected. Of course, König could easily dispose of the whole pile elsewhere, burn them, bury them, or dismember them until there was nothing but rotten mincemeat left on the ground, but he wanted to send another message, by leaving the bodies for his beloved to find. Just so you’ll know, he’ll do anything to keep you safe. Anything to keep you all to himself.

Or when the shuffling within you tent momentarily stop after he would intentionally snap a twig with his full weight while doing a round through your camp, intent on putting another food item in your bag. Clearly you took notice of someone lurking through the camp, but didn’t dare to check what was the noise you heard. How cute. König needed you to know that you won’t go hungry with him either – he’ll give away the last he has for you to last longer. The world will have a little more light with you in it, rather than with him.

König also knew you could see his shadow from the corner of your eye at times. Those days, he was intentionally being sloppy, allowing himself more and more of the simple, invigorating pleasures of taking in your beauty just a few more seconds before ducking behind the thick trunks, scattered bushes or a corner. His blood would come to a boil almost instantly, the hood that usually allowed for normal breathing would soon become suffocating for him, and his hands would start to tremble until his teeth would find a way to bite into his flesh, flashes of pain searing the incredibly joy the image of you gave him.

It was hard to wait. So hard to not act on his deep-seated, loving urges and finally take you all for himself, like it should be. Like it was meant to be. Every day without you in his arms felt more and more like torture, hours ticking away with him wasting himself out of your embrace he craved so restlessly. Anything seemed to remind him of you, pulling along the slow realization that you were not there to ease his heavy mind out of the instability that threatened to spill over in destructive, bloody violence. It was worse than bad. König needed you. So wholly and desperately he couldn’t exist or function in the way he was used to.

Soon. He’ll set everything in motion very soon. König already started carrying over all his stuff and equipment from the roof to a camp he put together carefully, a safe distance away from this storage house. You’ll need a safe place to stumble into, after all. And, from that safe place, right into his arms.

You won’t have a choice. Because you were meant for each other. You just didn’t know it yet.

check out this masterlist for more cod fics or send me a request/comment! you can also support me on ko-fi

[undercvrfan444]

For weeks you felt as though someone was shadowing you. Anytime you went out a feeling of paranoia would settle in your shoulders and make you sick.

Whispers of white would grace your peripheral vision. It was always the same messy movement, gone before you could truly get a look at where the color originated from.

You’d been out all day. A close friend had asked you to come over and help her pack up the apartment she’d been living in for the past few months.

“I’m gonna miss you being around.” You said after taping the last box shut. What you really wanted to tell her was you’d miss feeling like you knew someone in this large city.

Nobara smiled softly at you. “I’m gonna miss you too babe!” A comfortable silent falls between the two of you while large cardboard boxes are squeezed together beside the door.

Lost in your own thoughts you almost don’t feel the petite gand on your shoulder, whipping around out of surprise. “Whoa! What’s going on with you girl?”

A small frustrated sigh pushes from your lips. “Sorry, sorry. I don’t know..” Running your fingers through your hair, thoughts race behind your eyes.

“I-I don’t know how else to say this, but…I think i’m being stalked.” Feeling the words come off your tongue left you with a bitter taste in your mouth. To admit something was truly happening to you was to accept the fear that dwelled in your chest when “he” was around.

And possibly the arousal too.

How is it that a person could be stalked and in some sick fucked up way, they could be turned on by that disturbing fact. Your heart rate speeds up as you feel the subtle creeping of heat tickle your cheeks.

Nobara is quick with her response, not letting a single thing slip past her.

“Stalked?” She murmured. “By who? I know there’s a lot of sick fucks out there, but damn.”

“I’m not sure to be honest. Whoever he is, he isn’t stupid. Any time I go out of my house I feel him.”

“Feel him? Babe what-“

“He’s never gotten physical with me! Partially because I think he’s either scared o-or maybe just trying to scare me. I haven’t figured which one yet.”

Thick, uncomfortable silence fills the air. Almost as if “he” could be summoned by a mere whisper of his existence. You can’t be scared. How could you lie to Nobara and tell her you were startled by this person when there was a pool of arousal forming in your panties. It was a sick world you lived in and you were sicker so.

For hours the two of you spoke about your unidentified stalker. You delve into the details of every wispy stray hair you’d see from the corner of your eyes, how his mere presence made you believe whoever he was it was undoubtedly certain strength lies within him. The conversation drew on so long the sun sank and the moon had now rose to show herself.

The cushion your body has been residing on felt as though it melded to be one with your body; signaling your time to leave.

“Y/n I’m not sure you should go home. Wouldn’t you feel safer staying here? I know everything is packed up but at least you would have another person with you.”

“Oh no, I couldn’t do that. I’ve never been attacked anyway Nobara, i’m sure i’ll be fine going home tonight.”

With that you were sent on your way, multiple opportunities to stay with Nobara were presented and you shot every single one down. Why? Maybe because it intrigued you to think of your stalker finally showing himself to you. You enjoyed the idea of someone caring so much about you that they’d go out of their way to STALK you.

Cool, crisp night air fills your lungs with every shallow breath you take. From behind you footsteps easily mimicked your own. Any other normal person wouldn’t have been able to recognize the sound, but you’d grown to expect the sound. In fact…you craved to hear those perfectly synchronized steps.

The entirety of your walk home, his footsteps echoed behind you. Stuttering heartbeats pounding so hard your ribs hurt. Terror ran rapid throughout your body and eventually morphed into excitement.

Finally reaching your door, you paused for a moment. “Are you still there?” Your small voice was shaky; unsure of what answer you preferred more. The world seems to go quiet around you. Unfortunately there was no sound behind you. No breathing, no steps, no ruffling of clothes, just the breeze blowing past your hair.

AUTHORS NOTE:

so ik this is random but like i’ve got fragments floating in my head and this is one of them

[realscreaminggoat]

my rough draft for the song analysis essay is done! it took me forever but i would appreciate feedback if you have any 💜💚

(spoiler warning)

The Ballad of the Witches Road Analysis

Marvel is gay now, that is pretty exciting. Now that the hook is done, it is time to get into the essay. Agatha All Along is a show about Agatha Harkness, a 350 year old witch, and how she, her ex, her found coven, and their gay adopted teenager trek down the Witches Road (which does not exist), to get what they want most. It is a long and dangerous journey, but worth it in the end. They sing a song/protection spell, and if listened to closely, it foreshadows a lot of Agatha’s past, and the terrible event of her son’s death, all to an exciting and upbeat tune.

The first verse is sung entirely by Agatha, so of course it would relate solely to her. She sings, “I have learned the lesson/Of all that’s foul and fair”. This is referencing her son Nicky, who was destined to die at birth. She begged Lady Death, otherwise known as Rio, to help him live, and Rio agreed to break the rules and give them more time together because she loved Agatha. Nicky was alive for six more years before Rio had to take him. Nicky’s death was her lesson on all that foul and fair, because although it hurt and she was angry with Rio for years, she eventually learned that it had to happen, and Rio was just doing her job. The verse then goes on to discuss Agatha’s present time, as well as the Road. She sings, “The road is there/And so I dare/To risk this heart of mine”. Rio was on the Road, and Agatha was stuck with her while still angry over Nicky’s death. She remembered how much she loved Rio during her time on the Road, and that she was just doing her job by taking Nicky. The song transitions of a chorus which most states “Down down down the road/Down the witches road” many times over again, before moving to the second verse (also sung by Agatha)

Verse two references both the present and Agatha’s past with Rio. The verse begins with the lines “I have known the power/Of midnights in the wood/”. This, of course, is about the night that Nicky died. He died during the night. Rio came to take him without waking Agatha, most likely because she knew that Agatha would protest. That was a very powerful time in Agatha’s life, and the grief of losing her son also helped her to become more powerful by fueling her rage to kill other witches. Next the song references Agatha and Rio’s relationship with “I’ve danced inside the circle/Of all that bad and good”. Rio is seen as both bad and good by Agatha because her job is necessary for life and must be done, but it also causes her massive amounts of grief over the loss of Nicky. Now, back to the present with the lines, “Tame your fears/A door appears/To love that never dies”. They are on the road now, and forced to be together after everything that has happened, and Agatha is reminded of her love for Rio. Even after everything that happened between them over the centuries her love for Rio never died. The song goes back to the past with the next part, the bridge.

The bridge is arguably the most important part of the song, with multiple meanings and interpretations. The bridge seems very straightforward at first, reminding the audience that the song was written as a love song, and it can be connected to Agatha’s situation very closely. The bridge goes as follows, “If I can’t reach you/Let my song teach you/All you need to keep our love alive/If I can’t hold you/Remember what I told you/It’s the only way we survive/We survive”. This is going all the way back to Nicky, Agatha’s son. He was the one who made the first ballad, and although it did not include these lyrics, the song itself was a way of putting a name on what he and his mother did to stay alive. They travelled and tricked other witches into attacking Agatha, and then she stole their power and killed them. This helped Agatha to become more powerful, but it also kept Rio busy, and stopped her from being able to come and collect Nicky, who was supposed to die at birth. Rio gave them extra time together, but Agatha still tried to prolong that time as much as possible. Eventually Rio did have to take Nicky, and after word Agatha turned the song into a ballad and used it to trick witches into believing in the Road, and that singing it would open the Road. When the road did not open they attacked her and she stole their power in hopes of gaining enough to bring her son back. The song taught them that their Road (travelling and killing witches) was a way to stay alive, and that it was the only way to stay alive. The audience is then transported back to the present with the next verse (after a brief guitar solo), that has lyrics relating to each witch on the Road.

Verse three, if listened to closely, references each of the main characters in the show. The verse begins by stating “The Road is wild and wicked” to state that now it is talking about the present. The next line states, “Winding out of time”. This line references Lilia, because her time on the road led to her doing what other Marvel characters have called “time slipping”. She began to experience her life out of order, and had moments of saying something random that confused the people around her. She was living outside of normal time. Billy is referenced next. One of his reasons for going on the Road was that he wanted to find his brother, thus the lyric “What’s lost is found” was added to this verse, because he ended up finding his brother in the end. “What fierce is bound” is in reference to Jen, who was bound of her power over a century ago, and all she wants is to get it back. She gets her power back when she reaches the end of the Road, unlike Alice and Sharon, who do not reach the end. Alice and Sharon die before the end, which explains the line “We’re broken and we’re burned”. Although one could argue that they both got what they wanted. Sharon wanted to leave, and her death certainly got her off the Road, while Alice wanted to find out what happened to her dead mother. Following her into death most likely means they got to meet and she could ask her mother what happened to her. Last but not least the line “But take a breath/And dance with death/My love cannot be turned” is a direct reference to Agatha and Rio. She avoided Rio for centuries, and she hated her for what she did. The Road forced them to be together (thus the “dance with death” line), and Agatha cannot deny her love for Rio. The ultimate point of the show is that Agatha loves Rio, and Rio loves Agatha. It is fitting that they be the last reference made in the song, as they loved each other until the end.

Each verse delves into Agatha’s trauma, and the life changing event of her son's death, while also discussing the present experience of the Road, and how those two experiences relate. It also discusses Rio, and how Agatha cannot stop loving her, and how she came to understand that Rio loves her and did not want to have to take Nicky from her. The song is one of the most powerful parts of the show, littered with foreshadowing and tragedy disguised as an upbeat tune.

(im tagging people who interacted with the og post if you want removed just message me

@sweetestberryofthebunch @silentwordsmyth @kissing-chefs @jade-lopez-maximoff @fakeagatha @babyqueenfangirl @popcorn-plots @milli-moi @clericallyinsane @lesbiifem @nevergraciee @diescrydarm @piinek @sp00kyb4be

[quinnysnursery]

cg tara x Clingy!little (who has abandonment issues w parents) gets anxious when Tara goes to take sugar on a walk and when Tara gets back and sees you she’s quick to comfort you 🥹😭

[❤️] please don't leave | tara yummy one-shot

paring : cg!tara yummy x little!clingy!reader

summary : read the inbox

warning/extra tid-bits : crying, anxiety attack, hurt/comfort

word count : 387

divider credit : umm i found all the photos on pinterest :3 and i added the squiggles in canva !

a/n : kinda similar to one of my matt fics i have up but 🤷

It wasn’t a big deal, you were fine.

Or at least, you told yourself you were fine. 

It hadn’t been more than 20 minutes since Tara left with Sugar. She’d offered for you to come along, however you deemed your coloring more important.

So, Tara and Sugar went out with a promise to “be back in 30!”. Leaving you, alone and regressed. It wasn’t uncommon for you to regress on your own, somedays you even preferred for Tara to let you solo-regress.

However, you found very quickly that today wasn’t one of those days. You could hear your heartbeat in your chest as your ribcage ached from your hyperventilating. 

Wet tear stains ran down your cheeks as you pressed yourself in the tight space behind the couch and the wall- desperate to hide. 

Hide from what? You weren’t sure. Though that wasn’t surprising, your regressed self wasn’t very logical.

Irrational fears floating through your head, stabs of insecurity making your tears rush out quicker. 

“She hates you”

“She’s not coming back”

You cradled your knees tightly to your chest, trying your best to remember the several breathing techniques that Tara had taught you. 

You weren’t sure how long you stayed behind the couch, but eventually your panicked mind was calmed by a sudden wet tongue colliding with your face.

You quickly pulled away from this sudden attack, face wrinkling in confusion. “Sugar, did you find her?” Tara’s voice rang out, soothing your heart rate slightly.

Tara instantly crouched down in front of you, holding her arms out as she began asking what was wrong. You sniffled, crawling towards her and burying your face in the crook of her neck. 

“Did someone miss mama?” Tara cooed, running her hand up and down your back as she helped your cuddle up next to her. Sugar joining the cuddle pile.

You nodded against her skin, the scent of her perfume and setting spray was a helpful reminder that she was here.

Tara let out a sympathetic noise as she pressed multiple kisses to your face, “Mama’s here, mama’s here.”

You held onto the fabric of her shirt tightly, letting her baby you- cheering you up in the process. You felt your breathing return to normal, “P’ease don’ leave.”

Tara held you tighter, pressing a kiss to your nose. 

“Never, baby.”

taglist !! :

@mattssturnz @littlestar44 @graceslittlecorner @zivall

@hrtz4alex2211 @bimbob1tch @sturnsxplr-25 @cherry-red-heart

@lockettesroom @frlinbruh @jazminepetit-homme @raynaaxx

@tyummyz @cyberskulzzz @nicksbestie @urfavbestiee

@nicksloverrr @babybatxxx @ivysturnss @madifilipowiczslvt

@sturniolosiphone @jadest0ne @babybatxxx @emogxilbert

friendly reminder that stealing isn't cute, credit me if you take inspiration from my works 😊🪄

[autisticlalna]

recently in the sbk community discord: leon, is the moon big?

its been a while since ive done one of these, whoops. im still pretty tired, but something pretty interesting is going on i wanna make sure everybody's caught up on.

it starts a little bit before Leon's episode 16, "Something is VERY WRONG on the Skyblock Kingdoms SMP..." when we got a sudden teaser:

uh oh, gamers.

the discord jumps on checking Leon's namemc and get a better look at his tattered skin:

(^ courtesy of Aces! also this, which is not relevant but makes me laugh):

what with the end of the season on the horizon, the telescope, and Leon's physical state, we jumped straight to Moon Big jokes. then, another teaser:

what's it?

oh, frig, the Stronghold book. remember that thing?

fun fact: in an Avid stream i don't have energy to track down the clip of (7/18/24), he mentioned he was the one that wrote it OOC. i don't remember what else he said about it, but it's still around and is being kept at spawn. neat.

then Leon's premiere goes up and Rex notices something in the description.

out-of-body experience?

finally, the premiere itself.

One chilly, rainy evening. I had just finished admiring my pile of diamond tools. Before calling it a night, I decided to head upstairs and sit by the fire for a while. Rest the bones, warm the feathers, yaknow. When all of a sudden... A gust of wind, a burst of flame! Then, nothing. I blacked out.

[phantom screech] One quick thing before I go--

This wasn't like with the chorus fruit. This was very, very different. When I came to, I had this feeling of dread, of- of fear and- and paranoia, that I just couldn't shake. Constantly in my mind, constantly, I couldn't stop thinking: Something out there is.. watching.

and then his speech at the end.

I know you're out there. Fool me twice, shame on me, I'm not falling for this again! You got me before, but this time I'm standing my ground. I love this world and the people in it, and I swear on every fiber of my being you are not going to take this from me! He's out there, and I know it.

so.. not only is Leon being watched, but it's something he has history with.

[legundo voice] WELL THAT'S OMINOUS.

wait, hey, that's a fun transition. speaking of Legundo...

let's take a quick detour into the series Leon was in before SBK, UHC Generations. the core concept is that you're in ultra hardcore (so no natural regeneration), but when you die you pass the world on to someone else. Leon was the third generation, and after over half a year of owning the world he decided to end the series on his own terms, intentionally fell to his death, and passed it on to Josh CodeNeon. Josh later died himself and passed it onto Legundo, but not before building a little spot around a campfire where he was able to summon the ghosts of previous generations to talk to them.

cut to last month and Legundo's episode 5, "I Need To Fix This...", where he decides he needs to build a gold farm. one of Leon's big contribution to UHCG was redstone farms, so Legundo summoned his spirit for a quick chat as he showed off his idea on how to get the farm to work. there's some fun things from their conversation, though:

Legundo: How’s unexistence? Leon: Aw man, it’s a lot of void. I’ve missed this place Legundo: Some firm ground underneath your feet, nice memory Leon: It’s lovely, I haven’t felt the warmth of a campfire in a while, yeah

[Leon gets attacked by phantoms.] Legundo: Oh no, they don’t like that you're back Leon: Oh no, oh no, my ghost body is being eaten by phantoms Phantoms: [screech]

and, most importantly...

Leon: Ok, ok, well, you know on that note, one quick thing before I go, just uh, wanted to let you know. Legundo: Yea [zooms in on Leon’s face.] Leon: Will is coming.

(transcription by ComposerNicholas, just edited for formatting)

an out-of-body experience, huh?

One quick thing before I go.

Legundo called Leon back to UHC Generations while Leon was on Skyblock Kingdoms. Leon passed out on SBK, helped Legs out on UHCG, gave Legs a warning, and then woke up on SBK with sudden paranoia.

and we're still not done! because at the end of Leon's SBK episode, we get this:

(image brightened for visibility, sorry about the artifacting)

and ComposerNicholas pointed out that Leon's first UHCG episode has this in the intro:

in his UHCG finale, Leon describes the flashes of alternate realities and glitches he's been subjected to as the world nudging him to move on. it's tired of him, it needs new blood and to grow and change with fresh faces and new ideas. so it's time for Leon to go. Legundo himself later mentions "the will of the world"-- the world is as alive as the people that make it.

Legundo's episode ends on him giving himself a timer. either he dies before the timer ends, or he follows in Leon's footsteps and dies on his own terms to pass the world on. after all, he'd pretty much found a way to eliminate all risk of ultra hardcore, and Leon had reminded him what the true point of UHCG was. he can't stay here forever. as the generations say: death is inevitable.

..in ultra hardcore, anyway. not so much in Skyblock Kingdoms, no matter what the thing watching Leon wants him to think.

You got me before, but this time I'm standing my ground. I love this world and the people in it, and I swear on every fiber of my being you are not going to take this from me!

to try and wrap this up, here's some more words from Leon as we go further into insanity:

anyway, this is what i've been able to scrape together so far. as usual, im just able to collect the pieces and maybe tape some of them together. we got a very brief Nukeri in Viking's episode the same day as Leon's, and now we've.. i dunno, got hints about Legundo? but the more focal thing seems to be that the UHCG world may have convinced Leon to pass it on, but that doesn't mean he's free of it. part of him is always going to be there, in the memorials and by the campfire.

oh yeah also quillbee did a video where he rebuilt founder's town from memory and invited leon on to help

[idreamofticklehugs]

You

You whispered that everything was okay. You held me close to help keep the pain away. 

“You are not a burden” you said to me. You attacked the fear that told me I always would be. 

You took care of me and gave me peace. You calmed my mind and made the anxiety cease. 

You made me laugh, when I didn’t think I could smile. You go so far beyond “going the extra mile.”

You loved me extra when I felt needy. You did it without letting me feel greedy. 

You are my safe space, my comfort, my home. You have proven to me I do not face the future alone. 

You love me so well and I need you to know You are my everything, and I love you so.

[obiwansito]

the bombs were close

the great war - chapter two

read on ao3 ʚĭɞ series masterlist ʚĭɞ general masterlist

pairing- obi wan x f!reader

word count- 5.09k

summary- your worst fear had come true. grievous was attacking coruscant, and now you had to protect the planet you grew up in. and, finally, be able to reunite with your lover after many weeks.

tags for this chapter- battle descriptions, canon typical violence, tw: jedi council /hj, smut (+18 mdni), intrusive thoughts.

a/n- this (maybe) will be the only smut on the fic so enjoy it!!

You rushed into the Temple hangar, several Jedi were gathered and ready to fight. You pushed your way through the crowd, finding Master Windu and Master Saesee Tii, who were giving orders.

“Masters.” They noticed you. You were serious, your Jedi General mode on. You were ready to help defend the planet where you had been raised. “What about the Senate?”

“Each senator has their security team, and they are already being evacuated to safe locations. Master Ti was sent to guard the Chancellor, and Master Yoda and I will guard the outside of the Senate building.”

You nodded, and then Windu spoke your last name. “Your battalion was sent to secure the perimeter near the evacuation routes, droids are everywhere. Join them and reinforce them. May the force be with you.”

You headed towards your speeder, your comlink beeping. You answered immediately, you could guess who it was.

“General.” Your commander's voice sounded stressed. Gunfire could be heard clearly on the other end of the line.

“Forge. Send me the coordinates, I'm on my way.”

“Yes, sir.” You received the request seconds later, and were on your way, moving along the air roads of Coruscant that were currently empty due to the emergency. On the way, you encountered some Separatist ships heading straight for a building. Without thinking twice, you opened fire, aiming at the exact angle to explode the engines of the fighters.

You were not a better pilot than Anakin, but you could defend yourself very well.

As you shot down a few more ships, you managed to spot the 621st, your battalion. Countless droids were heading towards them, but your men could handle it. Not for nothing they were some of the best in the GAR.

You headed toward them, but a buzzing in the force made you realize you were being pursued. On your speeder screen, you saw three Separatist ships following you.

“Kriff.” You accelerated sharply, spinning between the skyscrapers to try to divert them. One of the ships tried to follow you, but failed and crashed, exploding in a shower of sparks and debris.

You tried to pass in the middle of two narrow buildings, hoping that one would crash or not enter, but you were unsuccessful. Both followed you, you could feel the lasers near the wings of your speeder.

You watched on the screen and noticed that one of the fighters was getting closer and closer. You took a deep breath and disengaged the engines all at once, letting your speeder glide without momentum, slowing down instantly. The fighter behind you flew past, surprised by your action. You reacted quickly and reactivated the engines to fire at it, destroying it before it could turn.

There was only one left.

You tried to increase speed, but it was too close. The enemy shots hit the back of your speeder, sending sparks flying from the control panel.

“No, no, no...” You mentally braced yourself for impact. You jumped out of your seat at the last second, your speeder crashing as you used the Force to soften your fall. You stretched out your arms and with a final thrust you landed, rolling gently on the ground before coming to a stop on your feet.

“Now I understand why Obi-wan hates flying.” You muttered, gently resting your hands on your belly. Now that you were pregnant, you couldn't afford to do as many Jedi acrobatics as you were used to. “I'm sorry, little one.” You apologized to your baby, even though it was ridiculous because they couldn't really hear you. Or maybe they could? You didn't know how Force-sensitive pregnancies worked.

Your seconds of peace were short lived, for the explosion had drawn the attention of a group of droids now approaching you. You took a deep breath, pulling your lightsabers from your belt and igniting them, their purple glow glowing through the smoke.

“A Jedi!” One of the droids exclaimed, all pointing at you. You closed your eyes, using the Force to shoot down the first arrivals. When they started firing, you managed to evade all of their attacks, moving into the crowd and destroying them with ease. After spending three years at war, droid fights were a piece of cake.

You smashed through several with your lightsabers, but most you could detect with your mind and you pushed them with the force, sending them flying away.

You were decapitating one when your comlink beeped. “General, where are you?”

“I had a... situation.” You sent another droid flying away, who was shouting something about just getting out of the factory and being too young to die. “It's almost under control, I'm on my way.”

“Good, we're waiting for you.”

Once you were done with the droids, you made your way to your battalion's position. Since you grew up on Coruscant, you knew the place well and could easily locate yourself.

You were behind a piece of rubble, the droids still didn't see you. You braced yourself and jumped using the force, landing right next to Forge, who was tearing apart a B-1.

“It's good to see you, Commander.”

“Ah, General. About time.” You smiled at him, dodging the enemy lasers, bouncing them back at themselves.

“It was a good break, wasn't it? Two weeks. You didn't miss me much?”

Forge rolled his eyes, tossing an electromagnetic grenade towards some droids, which fell to the ground electrocuted. “Actually, yes it was a good break. It lasted longer than we've ever had before. The boys didn't know what to do with so much time off.”

You smiled slightly, but before you could respond, a shudder in the Force stopped you. You looked to the side, and found one of your men, Map, surrounded by droids. He was doing fine on his own, but he was being surrounded.

Without hesitation, you extended your hand, pulling them toward you with the Force. In one swift motion, your lightsaber pierced through them, scattering fragments in every direction. As the final one fell, you looked up to the clone. “Are you alright, trooper?”

He nodded. “Thank you, General. I thought that would be the end of me.”

“Not while I'm here.”

You turned your attention back to the battlefield, making casual conversation with Forge. Fewer and fewer droids were arriving, and you would be able to go help somewhere else.

“So, where were you when all this started happening?”

The commander avoided making eye contact, focusing on shooting a droid. “Uh... In the barracks, with... the guys?”

You scoffed, shaking your head. Obi-wan was right, clones were very bad at lying. “You were with your little pantoran, weren't you?”

A few months ago, you had discovered that Forge was having a secret affair with Shen, a lady-in-waiting to Senator Riyo Chuchi. The two of them had met when you and he had been assigned as their guards during a mission.

He blushed, looking around nervously, as if verifying that no one had heard what you had just said. “I don't know what you're talking about, sir.”

“I hope you at least told her I said hi.”

He cleared his throat. “Why do you think Grievous is here, anyway?”

You rolled your eyes, laughing as you noticed his not-very-subtle way of changing the subject. “He's sending a lot of droids to the surface. It's almost like he wants to keep us busy. Like he wants to have a...” Shit. “A distraction.”

“But a distraction for what? What's so important here?”

And as the last droid fell, you both looked at each other, realizing how blind you'd been. “The Chancellor.”

You set aside the shock, immediately grabbing your comlink. “Master Windu, the Chancellor. Grievous wants the Chancellor.”

The Jedi's voice sounded somber and deeper than normal. “It is too late now.”

A massive ship loomed between the skies of Coruscant, and between the closing hatch, you could see it: The half-droid was laughing maniacally, as he held Chancellor Palpatine, who was looking at him with a frightened expression.

You hurried to the temple meeting room, Forge following close behind. As you entered, Master Windu and Master Yoda were standing around the Holo-table.

“What happened?” you asked approaching. “I thought Shaak Ti was with the Chancellor.”

“That's right. But Grievous managed to overpower her and took him away.” Windu exclaimed, who was folding his arms.

"In orbit, Grievous's ship remains. Strange, the situation is, but advantage of it, we can take." The grandmaster looked worried.

“I'll go.” You said decisively. “I can rescue Palpatine, I've faced the General several times.”

But before you could say more, Windu interrupted you. “Skywalker and Kenobi are on their way. They'll be in charge of rescuing him.”

You frowned. “Weren't they on Yerbana?”

“They were. But they have been warned and will be here by the end of the hour.”

“But... I'm sorry master, I don't understand.”

“You don't have to understand anything. That's what's going to be done, end of story.”

Then, you remembered something. “Wait. Didn't... they tell you?”

“What do you mean?”

“Last night, Ahsoka... I mean, former Padawan Tano called Admiral Yularen's ship. She said Maul had been found?”

Windu pinched the bridge of his nose, as if he didn't want to hear any more about it. “I guess Skywalker told you.”

You almost laughed. Obviously, Anakin had told you. Of course you didn't have a secret relationship with one of the council members. Oh, had you mentioned to them that you were pregnant?

The Master's voice snapped you out of your thoughts. “Obi-wan mentioned it to us, but we were in the middle of our problem here. We told them they should come as soon as possible.”

“But...”

He raised his voice, firm. “I hope you understand the gravity of the situation we're in here. The heart of the republic has been attacked and the Supreme Chancellor was kidnapped.”

You nodded. “I know.” You bit your tongue trying not to answer him, remembering your master's words. Don't fight with the Council....

“I'm glad you understand. If your commander doesn't need you, you can go back to your classes. The younglings are waiting.”

You sighed, reluctantly agreeing. You didn't mind taking care of the little ones, but you were capable of so much more. Only the Council didn't want to see it.

You bowed to the masters, leaving the room quietly with Forge behind you. Once you were in the hallway, you turned to look at him. “Are the boys all alright, are there many losses?”

“I'm glad to say no, General. Bones told me the wounded are already on their way to the infirmary.”

“Very good. Are you going home?”

He scoffed. “I wish I was. But I'm afraid there's paperwork waiting for me. And for you too, by the way.”

You rolled your eyes. “Oh, don't remind me. Anyways, don't stay late. I don't think your girl would like it...”

He blushed, ignoring what you said. “Good afternoon, General.” He gave you a military salute and left, leaving you alone in the halls of the Jedi Temple.

“All right children, now, can you tell me what we learned in class today?”

There was no answer. You frowned, the little ones were quite distracted today. You supposed that was normal, given the chaos of the morning.

You approached a zabrak boy, who was busily engaged in telling his friend something. The latter nudged him, causing him to quiet down and look at you intently. “Zaru, do you have something to share with the class?”

“Ehm, no, Master. Sorry.”

“Oh, but you seemed so focused. Don't you want to tell me?”

He blushed, but spoke almost mumbling. “I was telling Kelen about how Master Skywalker and Master Kenobi rescued the Chancellor. I overheard a knight telling his Padawan about it.” As he spoke, his voice became more excited. “Apparently, Master Skywalker defeated Count Dooku, and saved Master Kenobi! Grievous escaped, but they destroyed his ship! Isn't that amazing?”

You chuckled, patting him on the head. “Yes, dear. But you can save the gossip for later. We're in class right now.”

He nodded, pouting. “Yes, Master.”

Just then, the clock chimed, marking the end of the hour. You sighed. “You're saved, kids. You better come prepared next class.”

You watched as the younglings left the room one by one, but someone was missing. It was Kyla.

“Little one? Are you alright?” You kneeled down to stand at her level.

“Yes, master. It's just... I got a little scared. After this morning.”

“Oh, baby girl. It's okay, it's completely normal. But it's over now. Everything's fine now.”

That didn't seem to calm her down. “I know, but it's just... I shouldn't feel scared, right? We're Jedi.”

“We are, but we're also sentient beings. Being Jedi isn't about repressing your emotions, though many interpret it that way. It's about having control over them and not letting them rule you. Do you think I'm not scared when I go on dangerous missions? Maker, of course I am. But you don't have to let it get to you, little girl.”

She nodded, still lost in thought. “I agree, Master. It's just...” She sighed. “Sorry, I know I shouldn't think about the future. But what if my future master doesn't think like that?”

You felt a pang in your chest, and all the guilt you had been trying to banish from your thoughts automatically returned. Still, you smiled reassuringly at her. “Don't worry about it, little one. I'm sure your future master will guide you in the best way.”

You would had been able to do it.

“I trust you, master.”

You caressed her face, getting up. “Very well, my dear. Now, you should go. You don't want to miss dinner, do you?”

She giggled, waving goodbye and heading out the door. You were finally alone.

You grabbed your things, lost in thought.

On one hand, there was the matter of the younglings. Kyla's words echoed in your head. You could have guaranteed her a great future. But now it was impossible.

Memories of the morning's battle still haunted you. You were still upset with the Council, it hurt you that they didn't see you capable of helping in a mission of such importance, when you had shown them more than once how strong you were. And not only physically, but also mentally.

But all those bad thoughts dissipated when you remembered something. Obi-wan was home.

You had felt him earlier, his warm, comforting force mark lingering through the halls. Unfortunately, you hadn't had time to look for him, as you were in class, and you assumed he was busy meeting with the Council. He had probably spent hours there.

You thought of Anakin, he was also at home. If you knew him well, he was probably with Padmé. Your heart grew joyful, surely he already knew the good news. He would be so excited.

As you walked to your rooms, you nervously debated whether it was time to tell Obi-wan. It was already nighttime, surely he would come to see you. How complicated would it be to tell him, “Hey love, you know how we're at war and all, and that our organization doesn't allow us to have partners, but we still do it because we love each other, even though it's very complicated? Well, guess what?”

You sighed. Maybe you shouldn't kill yourself so much thinking about it, surely in the moment it would come naturally to you and everything would be fine.

When you arrived, you headed to your 'fresher to take a long shower. The day had been pretty heavy, but there was nothing that hot water wouldn't solve.

You put on your most comfortable robe, made yourself some tea and settled into your bed, your datapad at hand to finally report on some missions. You thought about meditating, but you were too tired and would probably end up falling asleep. Pregnancy was making you a little weak.

You were sending the report of one of the last missions you had before returning to Coruscant when you felt a warmth in the force. That recognizable mark that made you feel butterflies, as if you were still a teenager.

You held your breath, your gaze darting to the door, which someone was opening with your code.

Within seconds, Obi-wan Kenobi materialized in your room, smiling shyly at you and closing the door behind him.

“You're here.” You whispered, smiling at him like a fool. You were so sensitive, you felt like you were going to cry. But it was the first time you'd seen him face to face in weeks and shit, you'd missed him so much.

”Forgive me for not coming earlier.“ He took off his cloak, leaving it delicately on your desk chair, and walking over to your bed. “I was in meeting with the Council. There was a general report on the sieges, and we were going to report on the fight this morning, but Anakin never showed up.”

You chuckled at that, watching his every move. “Don't worry, I've been busy too... I can just now sit down to rest.”

He sat down next to you, and you set your datapad down on your nightstand, focusing all your attention on him. You ran a hand through his beard, always groomed. But you could notice he was starting to get some white hairs.

He had a few wrinkles, a product of the stress of war. Still, he looked incredibly handsome. You traced every mole, every mark on his face, as he looked up at you in admiration.

“I missed you so much.” You whispered.

“I missed you so much too, my darling.”

Unable to contain yourself any longer, you threw yourself into his arms, giving him a warm embrace. His familiar scent comforted you, made you forget all the troubles of your life and the galaxy. It was just you and him, forever.

He stroked your hair, his breathing calm. “Coming back to the Temple always makes me feel at peace... but more so since I'm with you.”

You laughed a little, pulling away and coming within inches of his lips. “Always so cheesy...”

“And you love it, dear.”

You kissed him, your stomach going crazy from feeling his lips for the first time in weeks. You were finally complete, your life was back and he was kissing you right now.

You climbed into his lap, his hands finding your waist and your arms wrapping around his neck. It wasn't a lustful kiss, but an intense, emotionally charged one. You had missed him so much.

You broke apart after a few minutes, gasping for air. His cheeks were flushed and his lips were swollen. You could never get tired of that sight.

He brushed a lock away from your face. “I missed this so much.”

You both chuckled, your hearts racing, like two teenagers in love.

Suddenly, a doubt returned to your mind. You became serious, but fiddled with his hair. “Can I ask you something?”

“Of course.” His thumbs caressed your waist, making your skin bristle.

“What happened with Ahsoka's call?”

Obi-wan tensed slightly. “Maul is on Mandalore. Anakin helped her with reinforcements, split up the 501st and sent Rex.”

That was a relief to you. So, there was indeed a chance of capturing him. But you could tell something else was affecting your boyfriend.

“I informed the Council.” He continued, his voice lower. “But with the siege here... I had no choice. I had to help.”

You could feel the guilt in Obi-wan's words. He always carried more than his fair share, and your heart broke for that. “She'll make it.” You told him reassuringly. “She's the best.”

He slowly denied, lowering his gaze. “It's too dangerous. I should have gone myself.” He closed his eyes. “I shouldn't have... left her alone.”

You took his face in your hands, forcing him to look at you. “Hey. Ahsoka will be fine.” Your voice was soft, but firm. “There is no more perfect person for this mission. She's very strong. You and Anakin trained her very well. She can do it.”

Obi-wan relaxed a little at your words, giving you a small smile. “You always know what to say to make me feel better.”

“It's not just to make you feel better, Obi-wan. It's the truth.”

He nodded, your hands relaxing in his hair. You were silent for a few minutes, until he said something. “There's... something else I need to tell you.”

You looked at him curiously. “I guess you heard, but... Dooku is dead.”

“Oh, so I did hear. Believe it or not, some younglings in my class were gossiping. News in the temple travels fast. They said Ani had saved your ass?”

“That may be true. But don't tell anyone I told you. I have a reputation to maintain.” You both laughed, before Obi-wan got serious again. “Anyways, that's not what I wanted to tell you. Since Dooku died, Grievous is the new leader of the Separatists.” You nodded. “The Council made it a priority to locate him.”

You analyzed his words for a moment, your breathing stopping as you realized what he meant. “So... the war could be over soon?”

He nodded, taking your hands in his. “That's right. When we capture Grievous, it will be the end of the Clone Wars.”

You looked at him dumbfounded. You knew the war would end at some point, but you didn't think so soon.

Suddenly, you saw the future with optimism. Maybe you could wait longer to tell Obi-wan about your pregnancy. You didn't want to worry him any more at this point.

Peace is so close, you didn't have to give him this burden now. For the first time in what seemed like a long time, you could see hope in his eyes. The secret could wait a little longer....

Obi-wan's calloused hand on your cheek snapped you out of your reverie. “Are you all right, my dear?”

“Yes. Just...” You chuckled. “I can't believe it. That's... wonderful news.”

You hugged him, your head lying on his chest, his big hands resting on your lower back.

Your hands slid down his chest. You felt his breath in your hair, slow and warm. His distinctive smell of wood and coffee comforted you.

“I still can't believe you're here.” You whispered, looking up at him. He smiled at you, his hand caressing your cheek gently.

“I dreamed of this when I was away.” His eyes looked at you with intensity. “Just you and me, alone after a long time.”

His words sent a shiver down your spine, licking your lips out of instinct. His gaze lowered to them, your breaths quickening.

You closed your eyes as he leaned in, pressing his lips together against yours in a passion-filled kiss. One of his hands cupped your cheek, while the other fiddled with your sleeping robe, caressing your soft skin over it.

Your hands merged with his hair, messing it up a bit as your tongues danced together, a soft sound coming from your lips.

He grabbed you around the waist with his large arms, laying you gently on the bed, and settling on top of you, careful not to crush you. Your legs wrapped around his hips, as he kissed you again with the same intensity as before.

“Oh, gods. I missed you so much.” You purred as his lips began to move down, leaving a trail of kisses down your cheeks, chin, neck. His calloused hands were now under your robe, caressing every inch of your waist.

You helped him remove his layers of Jedi robes, desperate for direct contact with each other's bodies. “This is always going to be my least favorite part.” He whispered, his hands shaking trying to remove all of his upper garments. You laughed, helping him until he was shirtless and pulled him in for another kiss.

His hands explored your entire torso, making you gasp as his thumbs ran over your sensitive nipples. He lifted you up a little to remove your sleeping robe, tossing it somewhere in your room. You were at his mercy, your panties the only thing stopping you from being completely exposed.

He took his time admiring you, licking his lips before returning to attack your neck with kisses and bites that you knew would leave a mark the next day. But at that moment nothing mattered. Just you and him, enjoying your first moment alone in a long time.

He slowly worked his way down, making sure not an inch of you was left unkissed. His lips wrapped around your breast, licking your nipple as he caressed the other with his hand.

You had your eyes closed, stroking his hair as you gasped, enjoying his attention. “I missed this so much...I missed you so much.”

As his lips continued their exploration of your body, he took your thighs in his large hands, spreading your legs, giving him a clear view of your private part covered by your panties, which had a spot in the middle because of how wet you were.

You felt small under his hungry gaze. He stroked the insides of your thighs, managing to send a shiver down your spine. He licked his lips, leaning down to kiss your covered clit. You moaned, desperate for more.

His thumb stroked you. “Love... Stop teasing...” You moaned.

That made him laugh. “Patience, darling. I want to enjoy this as long as possible.”

He kissed your thighs, caressed your whole body, except the part where you needed it most. “Please, Obi-wan. I need you.” You whimpered, trembling with the need for pleasure.

“If you ask me in that cute way...” He curled his fingers into the straps of your panties, pulling them off you and tossing them somewhere in your room.

Finally, you were completely exposed to him.

He started kissing your wet center, you felt his beard scrape your thighs, turning you on even more.

When he licked your clitoris, you moaned, trying to squirm, but you realized he was holding you with the force.

“Don't move, sweetheart.” You obeyed, little moans coming out of your mouth as you felt how well your boyfriend was treating you.

His tongue began to tease at your entrance, his nose brushing perfectly against your clit, enough to make you shudder. Your hand found his hair, stroking it as you begged him for more.

You tried to quiet your moans, but the skill with which Obi-wan was eating you out made it very difficult.

“Shhh, love. you don't want your neighbors to hear us, do you?” he looked you straight in the eyes and you moaned, enjoying the sensations and the obscene sounds Obi-wan's mouth caused against your intimate area.

You felt a knot forming in your stomach, your orgasm was approaching and Obi-wan could tell by your breathing speeding up. “Love...” You whimpered, trying to pull his hair to let you release, but he was still at his job.

His lips sucked perfectly on your clit, drawing a high-pitched moan from you. It was too much, you couldn't hold back any longer. “That's it, beautiful. Come for me.”

You moaned as you heard it, finally the pleasure exploding inside you like fireworks. You covered your mouth, silencing your moans, for you couldn't control them.

Obi-wan gave you a kiss on your thigh, before climbing back up beside you, stroking your hair and murmuring praise as you came down from your cloud of climax.

You finally opened your eyes, panting and with your legs shaking from the pleasure. He was looking at you with a smirk, his hair was messy and his beard soaked with your fluids. You wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him close to you for a kiss. You gasped as you tasted yourself on his lips, your tongues dancing passionately.

“Wait.” He stood up for a second, reaching for something on your nightstand. It was a condom.

You wanted to tell him it wasn't necessary, but that would raise suspicion so you just took it as he landed back beside you.

You laid him fully on the bed, perching on top of him. Your center lightly brushed against his clothed erection, causing you both to gasp. You kissed him again, his hands on your thighs, your hips moving slightly, causing a perfect friction.

You lifted up slightly to remove his pants and underwear, finally freeing his big cock. You licked your lips, gripping it and running your thumb over its sensitive tip, which was covered in pre-cum.

You masturbated him a little, opening the condom and quickly putting it on him. Positioning the head of his member at your entrance, you slowly lowered yourself down, your head falling back from the sensation of his expanding you.

You looked into his eyes, he was flushed and his mouth slightly open in pleasure. He grinned a little at you. “You look beautiful from here.”

You began to move slowly with his help, your breaths quickening. It took some getting used to his size, but the feeling of fullness made up for it entirely.

Your hands rested on his chest to find stability, while his thumb stroked your clit in circles, causing you more pleasure.

“Oh, maker. Obi-wan...” You moaned, the obscene sounds caused by your bodies joining together surrounding the entire room.

You found the perfect rhythm, the tip of his cock touching your most sensitive spot perfectly, making you see stars. “Good lord...” Your boyfriend whispered, the way your pussy contracted in its extension making him feel closer and closer.

You felt your back arching, Obi-wan resting his free hand on your thigh to help you as you were getting closer and closer.

Your orgasm suddenly erupted, like a bolt of lightning shooting through your entire body. Beneath you, you felt your boyfriend gasping, his own release making his whole body tremble.

You stayed like that for a few seconds, you eventually lowering yourself to lie next to him, his strong, warm arms holding you as you caught your breath.

The rest was a blur. Obi-wan whispering beautiful things in your ear, how wonderful you had been, how beautiful and perfect you were. Sloppy kisses, soft looks.

Eventually he got up, going to the bathroom and returning with a towel to wipe off your remaining fluids. When he was done, he lay down next to you again, stroking your hair until you both ended up sound asleep next to each other.

© obiwansito, 2024. reposts, copies and translations are not allowed. my work cannot be used for training AI.

[lola-writes]

𝐃𝐄𝐋𝐈𝐂𝐈𝐀𝐄 𝐈𝐌𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐈 ║ III. The Dream of Rome ║ Marcus Acacius x Hanno's sister!reader

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➣ Chapter II. | All chapters

Word Count: 2,1k

Synopsis: As an esteemed warrior of the Numidian army, your world turns on its axis when you’re taken prisoner by the Romans. Ever since your stealth attack that nearly cost the General of the Roman army, Marcus Acacius, his life, he appears to have taken a special interest in you. Under his tutelage of swordplay and carnal things, you delve deeper into the heart of the Roman Empire, uncovering its instability, and Acacius’ true intentions with you…

Themes & Warnings: 18+ (MDNI!), POV first person, blood & violence, slow burn, enemies to lovers, implied age gap, misogyny, political corruption & instability, yearning & longing, mutual pining, slavery, pet names, mentions of sexual inexperience, swearing, mentions of sex

A/N: Next chapter will be spicy, so hang in there! 🤪

Anaticula (duckling), Adonis (god of beauty and desire)

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I’d never thought I’d feel so subservient. So utterly susceptible to somebody else’s whim. Neither would I have believed that one simple action, taken in a mere second, would’ve unravelled a path that would crumble my whole world. Only to be put before an impossible choice that could inevitably grant me my freedom. 

Though, it wasn’t really much of a choice. I needed to do it. For myself, and for my honour. 

What felt like an eternity of silence had passed, before Acacius’ timber startled me, “What say you?” he whispered, like he was afraid of how I would respond to his instruction. I realized he had as much to fear as I did - relaying this sort of information to me. What nearly escaped me was just how much power he had actually placed in my hands. I was of no importance to the Roman Empire. 

I wouldn’t even have to kill him myself. One breath to the emperors about Acacius’ schemes and I could have his head on a spike come dawn. 

It was a dangerous game, a gamble with stakes far higher than I could have imagined. 

But I’d sworn my allegiance. In my world, that meant something. And I believed that it did in his as well.

He pierced me with his gaze, his eyes the color of dark, swirling pools in the dim light of the atrium.

If I were to do this, I needed answers.

“Why do you wish to kill them?” I finally breathed.  

Acacius appeared to wrestle with his thoughts, a torrent of emotions and events which I supposed could not be captured by mere words. 

Finally, he sat down on the stone rim of the pond, one hand resting atop his knee. He proceeded to tell me everything. 

About his departed wife, Lucilla, and their relentless pursuit of the dream of Rome, inherited by her father, the revered Emperor Marcus Aurelius. A dream that was slowly, agonizingly slipping away. He spoke of Emperor Geta and Caracalla – about their hot-headed tyranny; slowly bleeding the country out in pursuit of their own fame and glory. 

“The bloodshed will not end with Numidia,” said Acacius solemnly. “These brats want to take it all. Persia. India. All the while their own people starve in the streets.”

The memory of the festering city swam up before me. The so-renowned city of Rome, in actuality, reduced to such a pathetic spectacle.

“Is that not the way of the world?” I asked.

A furrow of despair etched between his brows. “It does not have to be,” he said, his voice filled with a sincerity that I yearned to believe. “Change needs to begin somewhere.” 

A strange warmth bloomed within my chest. Despite my reservations, I was beginning to realize that Acacius wasn’t inherently a bad man. 

“And you wish to start this change with an assassination?” I queried, taking a seat beside him. 

“An assassination that will help save the lives of thousands,” he implored, before rising from his seat and pacing the atrium, twisting the armilla around his forearm. 

“And you wish me to perform this?” I posed. The notion was unfathomable to me. As a General, he surely had legions of loyal soldiers at his command. Men who wouldn’t hesitate, wouldn’t question. Wouldn’t fail...

“That’s right,” he drawled, the sound blazing a path down my spine of velvet and steel. 

My eyes, drawn to his face, studied him intently. His skin was tanned, and slightly aged. He could not have been older than fifty. His lips, the faintest shade of cherry, formed the shape of a heart at rest. A perpetual frown etched his brow, which I supposed had come naturally from extensive warfare, but it did nothing to intimidate me, nor did it mar him. An old scar traced his right cheekbone, and the one I’d made on his neck was just beginning to heal. 

“Why?” my voice was barely a whisper. 

The question hung heavy in the air as he approached me slowly. “Because you will be able to get close enough to them.”

I stared into his eyes, dark and fathomless like polished obsidian, searching for any hint of jest. But his resolve was as clear as the dawn breaking over the horizon, and the weight of his request began to settle upon my shoulders. 

“To get close,” I repeated, contemplating the actual enormity of this task when cold vexation flashed my nerves. “Enough of these vague concepts,” I said curtly, “What are you truly asking of me? I will need details, Acacius,” I said, rising to my feet, “Strategies, routines, vulnerabilities. I’ll need to know it all.”

His jaw ticked, and his expression hewed into something apologetic, a fleeting emotion that sparked an ill foreboding in my bones. He released the armilla and allowed his arms to drop to his sides. My eyes followed his path as he moved to a corner of the room, pulling out one of the elegant curule chairs from a round mahogany table. “Please, sit,” he said, before placing himself in the opposite curule. “You must be starving.” He poured wine into two glasses while I stood rooted and hesitant. But the agonizing hollowness in my stomach could not be denied. I had not eaten for two days, and though it did not sound like a lot, it felt like an eternity. 

I walked myself toward the corner, pacing myself to not seem too eager, and cautiously seated myself. The small table offered a modest spread: a bowl overflowing with fruit, a dish of walnuts, a bowl of olives, and a sliced loaf of bread. I plucked vigorously, each bite feeling like a touch of heaven, and when my tongue tasted the wine, I found myself envying him. 

When I looked up, he was watching me, his eyes a deeper shade of brown, almost black, as he sipped his wine slowly, deliberately. I spat an olive pit into my hand, and watched his eyes grow darker still beyond the rim of his glass. 

I dried my mouth on the back of my hand, leaning back in the chair as he refilled my glass. 

“Tell me everything,” I said, my voice firm with a newfound resolve. “I’m ready.”

Acacius leaned back, the palm of his hand stroking the dark, bristling beard of his chin as he appraised me. “Very well,” he began, his voice a low murmur that seemed to carry the weight of centuries and fixed me with eyes almost imploring. 

He took a moment to gather himself, before he leaned toward me, and my breath slowed with apprehension.

“There will be a celebration in my honor. Tonight,” he said, and bile rose in my throat while a million questions and scenarios erupted in my mind like a flurry. “I need you to accompany me.”

Repugnance penetrated my veins at the thought of attending a celebration of my people’s demise. An overwhelming feeling struck me, like I was back in that cage, and the only way to set myself free was to chop my own arm off. I gritted my teeth against the rising tide of despair, pushing back the tears. “I fucking hate you,” I hissed below my breath, but the brief pause in his narrative confirmed he’d heard me. 

If only I’d contemplated how much worse it could get.

“Now,” he continued, his voice softer, “The emperors’ parties are no mere gatherings. They are spectacles of power, displays of decadence, exercises in control... and sex.”

The last word snapped me back to attention, my pulse quickening, ice settling into my stomach – fear. 

“They are designed to intoxicate the senses, to break down barriers, and expose the deepest vulnerabilities of those who attend,” he proceeded, and I prayed he didn’t notice how I’d gone pale. 

A shiver, cold and profound, snaked down my spine, my entire body quivering from dread of the heart of his plan. 

“During this party, I want you to get close to the emperors. Either one, preferably both.” His eyes held mine with such intensity that I could feel how the muscles in his body contracted. “And assassinate them.”

He made it sound so easy. I nodded, attempting to digest his every word without completely losing my mind. 

“And,” I uttered hesitantly. “How would I...” I didn’t want to know the answer. “...get close to them?”

“You will have to seduce them.”

I shuddered, his words echoing in the silence of the atrium. I didn’t have a single notion of how to do that. Though, if I somehow did manage it, what then? 

I was starting to feel dizzy. 

“What if I get caught?” I asked, annoyed that I could not keep my voice from trembling. 

“You won’t,” he said assertively. 

“What if I get caught?” I repeated, my voice hardening, “Spare me the platitudes.”

He sighed and leaned back in his chair; one hand placed firmly upon the mahogany table. “Follow my plan,” he said. “Get them alone. And I’ll ensure you won’t get caught.”

It wasn’t much reassurance, but I supposed at this stage, I only had myself to blame. The moment of the battle flashed before my eyes, and instead of hesitating, I made sure Acacius spurted blood. It gave me momentary reprieve from the crushing weight of my predicament, my mind attempting to relieve my agony. But the torment only escalated once reality dawned once more.

Stupid, stupid girl.

“What am I to you?” I asked, my voice faltering.

Acacius paused and studied me cynically, clearly uncertain of the inference of this question. “You’re my slave,” he said then, and my guts twisted into a knot. 

“I mean, at this party,” I managed, choking back tears, “What will I be to you?”

Silence stretched, and the furrow between his brow etched deeper, his gaze growing solemn and cold. 

“I believe you already know the answer to that question.”

A tear spilled from my eye, not from grief, but from indignation, and I clutched onto my rags so hard they nearly ripped. 

“Listen,” he said, leaning forward in his chair. “Nothing needs to happen if you play your cards right. You’ll get through this,” he said placating, but somehow it only made me resent him more. 

Dread coiled beneath my skin at the prospect of intimacy. My sexual experience was limited, non-existent, in truth. And the idea of having to pretend to know what I was doing – to make it believable enough, while simultaneously plotting the emperors’ demise, made me feel vertiginous, like I was teetering on the edge of a precipice. 

“B-but,” I stammered, my fingers trembling as I tried to school my racing heart. “Will the emperors not deem a girl already... pledged to another as... off limits?”

“On the contrary,” he said derisively. “They enjoy the hunt. They like feeling powerful, and desirable. It’s important that you make them feel as such,” he explained. 

I was starting to feel delirious, and out of breath. 

“They’re not only tyrannical, but extremely vulgar.”

“Enough,” I gasped, and rose from the curule, needing to escape the unbearable weight of this imminent affair. 

“I’m not trying to upset you,” came Acacius’ voice from behind.

I walked into the atrium, and found myself drawn to the pond, watching the fish swirl and dart, their serene movements a stark contrast to the turmoil within, pacifying me. 

“You need to be prepared,” he said gently, something akin to compassion penetrating his silken drawl.

I filled my lungs, slowly and deeply. 

I would survive this, I thought. I had to. This was not merely about my freedom; it was about freeing the world from the suffocating grip of the Roman tyranny. 

I turned back towards Acacius, who was now upstanding, watching me with a determined, cautious look. His demeanour, a peculiar mix of empathy and resolve, offered me the slightest hint of relief. 

It could’ve been worse. Acacius could’ve been a tyrant too. Or I could’ve been somebody else’s slave forever, with no opportunity of escape. Acacius had offered me a chance to change something for the better. To make my life mean something. In this moment, partly to ease myself into the reality of the situation, I decided to be grateful. I decided to trust him. I couldn’t afford to falter now. 

I met my reflection in the water of the pond and recoiled. I certainly couldn’t go anywhere like this. I turned to him. “What should I wear?”

He smiled gently, to my surprise, and offered me his hand. I took it. “Come with me,” he said, as he led me out of the atrium. “I have just the thing.”

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[fallentheatre]

each other's world, torn apart

minecraft end poem as a conversation between two broken brothers.

(@hoverboards-and-dragons heyyyyy)

[snowflake-sage]

Pretty proud of how far I’ve come this year

[kameyyy]

I was just mentally writing a tumblr post abt how I need that iphone asap so I can preview a chat when I don't wanna answer (if I archived them I don't get notifications) and then I was like — wait.. I don't have read-reciepts on, they won't know I read their messages 😭😭😭